#its just such a specifc emotion

[senvurii]

my boy is two years old!!!!!!!!

[cinnabeat]

god fucking imagine waiting years for kh3 and then it ends with sora apparently disappearing and then like a year later u got remind and then it Ends Like That i wouldnt be able to handle it

[silliest-heartaches]

Ohh my god DRINKKK!! Dude I love them sooo muchhh. I just love imagining them being head over heels for each other yet constantly denying their feelings, because of how they view themselves, yet still finding comfort and solace with each other. They are so. YES. PERFECT. AUGH.

SHARE MORE ABOUT THEM PLEASE!!!

And I love how you use they/them for Ink and she/her for Dream!!

GOD YEAH I LIKE THEM SO INCREDIBLY MUCH... tbh the main reason i started liking them was bc i was thinking abt them and how doomed yuri coded they were and. The worms Wormed in from there,,,,

I actually use he/they and she/they for ink and dream respectively but!!!!!! I love all hcs and interpretations of them for REAL. nonbinary people who are gay as fuck for real,, very inherrently queer ship regardless of how u see either of them i think...heart seeing them as t4t transmasc and transfem forever personally though so thats what i see em as hehe,, also in my head theyre both aroacespec (though the specifc kind varies from au to au though i do consistently see ink as ace and dream as demiaro :>>)

Im not sure how long these will be so...hcs under the cut lol

- okay well while in my mind while error is technically the First Entity ink sees that isnt just a normal entity, dream is like their First. Friend. you know. Like when error first saw him he was screaming and crying for the hills bc it was also his first time seeing another outcode so. that reaction BUT with dream she was more filled with gentle confusion... this is a bit after she unstoned in the apple incident but still was new to au hopping and naive to most danger so they became friends!!! Questionably so.

-to elaborate, when they first meet dream is still stuck on the ideals of toxic positivity and pushing through hardship no matter what... i think this is something they eventually grow out of and dream will eventually learn to see the need for balance eventually but one of their first disputes happens when ink is running low on ink and most of whats left are the Negative Emotions within him alongside the especially strong panic that he usually feels when they get like this... dream would try to comfort him and try to say that itll work out in the end no matter what and that they just need to push through and that itll be okay like normal comforting words because dream is an empath and can sense feelings right,,i feel like its comforting in some cases but when things get Really Bad and especially when the main reserves of feelings that ink has are Negative, they heavily override his normal sense of self and i imagine they get a lot more. Snappy.... theres also the additional hc thingy of ink also really overexaggerating his feelings and overplaying them a lot for the sake of trying to feel more intensely (doesnt work, just drains him faster and will never truly feel natural to him...personally think that ink feels a lot of disconnect from his feelings) which could be considerably offputting to dream (though before adding swap to the group she thought it wass normal because she had only seen the fake pretend nice joy of the village influenced by her aura and not Genuine Feelings)

I think eventually through the years they would learn a lot from eachother...like with ink learning to be more naturally charismatic and dream learning to see past toxic positivity and have his perception on emotions change for the better (ie in learning that having different emotions are okay, so long as there is a balance)

id do alot more hcs but tbh what it boils down to is: toxic codependent yuri. intensely up and down relationship where theres an insane amount of love and attachment but also a lack of self from the both of them because they are only able to see themselves as a Thing to the other. Also exes who turned out to be besties. Thry got together and broke up wayyy before blue (they casually tell him stories about it and for the parts that he does know about he is horrified for.) Oh and they share hobbies and do parallel play alot. dream is more music oriented and can play the cello and flute. ink can play the ukelele but hes more familiar with drawing and painting duh. Also they have a garden. they love growing flowers but their favourites are sunflowers. Also have writing sessions together. Also may/may not also have beautiful princess disorder. (The both of them)

im so sorry this is so incoherrent but erm. yeah im very normal abt them (half of this stuff comes from oc projection the other half is like. Mental illness while in the shower tbh)

[maddymoreau]

I read this interesting post:

https://www.tumblr.com/rocket-69/691648665881886720/its-sixxers-fallout-fallen-knight-let-me?source=share

That discusses how while Victor is a lovable character he's a product designed to lure Courier Six into New Vegas. This post got my brain juices flowing so bad I made Tumblr glitch with how much I tried writing in the tags. So I had to make my own post.

I find it EXTREMELY interesting how all the AIs Mr. House created while fun and lovable are also products.

Jane being a copy of Mr. House's favorite girl a starlet he dated before the Great War. She's designed to entertain him similarly to how the workers at Gomorrah "entertain" customers.

Jane: "Mr. House has a lot of needs, sugar. I take care of all of them, and a lady doesn't kiss and tell."

There's also an emotional aspect to the services she provides him.

If he wanted her just for sex he wouldn't have specifcally scanned her brain. He could've gotten anyone. While famous Jane wasn't even a star but a starlet. A young actress with aspirations to become a star.

While he might have liked Jane's personality which is why he picked her. Ultimately their relationship was a business transaction.

Raul: "She said they never, um... don't make me spell it out, boss. Anyway, she said all he wanted to do was scan her brain and make her dress up in different outfits."

Mr. House scanned her brain to create an artificial relationship (separate from the real Jane) designed to satisfy his needs post Great War. Mr. House had the technology to save the real Jane but chose not to.

A lot of people also seem misunderstand the reason why Mr. House doesn't have sex with Jane. It's because he physically COULDN'T.

Ignoring cut content. Mr. House was already attached to the machine keeping him alive. He's connected to an Electrode-studded command helmet on the day of the Great War.

It's how Mr. House protected New Vegas:

Raul: "I remember there were some weird stories about him, especially near the end." NEAR THE END.

Mr. House takes Jane's personality to the EXTREME. Designing her to stoke and inflate his ego by being able to only say positive things about him. Jane is a product designed to provide Mr. House a service all while managing his snow globe collection. She doesn't even respond when the player says goodbye to her.

Then there's Mr. Vegas who was an AI created before the Great War. A charming DJ for Radio New Vegas to play music but also spread the news.

Mr. House also did to the same to the tribes by turning them into The Strip AKA a money making product.

He molds people into exactly what HE wants for his benefit.

The BIGGEST example of this was Benny! However that didn't work because Benny is human. Benny had his own ambitions and desires.

Mr House: "I have to think that he found out about the Platinum Chip and mistakenly convinced himself that he could use it to his own ends."

Mr. House even flat out admits it to the player.

Mr. House: "Benny has led the Chairmen ever since I recruited his tribe seven years ago. Until his recent misbehavior, I'd planned to make him my protege. Maybe if I'd begun grooming him sooner, none of this would've happened..."

Protege meaning a person who is guided and supported by an older and more experienced or influential person. He wanted to GUIDE Benny into a specific role. Which the player can even ask about.

Courier Six: "What use would you have for a protege?"

Mr. House: "To achieve my aims, I require a capable human agent to perform certain . . . tasks."

HE DOES THE SAME WITH COURIER SIX!!!

Testing them to see if they can get to New Vegas on their own.

This awesome post goes into more details about it:

https://www.tumblr.com/maddymoreau/741007168343588864/veronicaroyce-it-always-bothered-me-that-mr?source=share

Mr. House even mentions you being a more-than-suitable replacement for the role he wanted Benny in.

ALSO during your first meeting with Mr. House this exchange can happen:

Courier: "Why the VIP treatment? I'm just a courier."

Mr. House: "Oh, don't be coy. You've been playing a high-stakes game ever since Victor dug you out of the ground. Don't be afraid to admit it."

DON'T BE AFRAID TO ADMIT IT. HE'S TEACHING YOU!!!! HE'S GUIDING YOU INTO THE ROLE HE WANTS!!!

Mr. House: "You see that you and I are of a different stripe, don't you? We don't have to dream that we're important. We are."

While Mr. House may act like he's above feelings and relationships. HE'S NOT!!!! It's why the player's karma can affect his ending SO MUCH!!!!

Another incredible post discussing it:

https://www.tumblr.com/maddymoreau/740922764666585088/veronicaroyce-something-i-think-a-lot-about-is?source=share

A lot of people think Mr. House is an idiot for picking Benny but people forget Benny's drive. Hell just rewatch the intro cutscene where he shoots Courier Six.

Mr. House being human is also WHY he picks Benny despite Swanks being far more loyal. Swanks is an unimaginative employee.

MR. HOUSE LIKE'S BENNY'S PERSONALITY. HE NOT STUPID HE KNOWS WHAT BENNY PERSONALITY IS LIKE!!!

Mr. House: "I have a certain tolerance for greed. I expect my business partners to be self-interested - but smarty so."

However he misjudged Benny and even admits it.

Mr. House: "Obviously, I miscalculated his drive for supremacy."

In the Yes Man ending we learn.

Yes Man: "I found some code snippets in one of Mr. House's databanks that will let me, um, reprogram my personality! To be a little more assertive, basically!"

Meaning while small Mr. House has programming to allow characters like Victor and Jane free will. He WON'T use it though because he wants the specific services and relationships they provide him.

HE'S A WEIRDO CONTROL FREAK WHO ACTS LIKE HE'S ABOVE HUMAN EMOTIONS BUT HE'S NOT AND I LOVE IT!!!!

In the ending with high good karma it even says: "Mr. house afforded him/her every luxury at his disposal in the Lucky 38, out of gratitude - and a quiet sense of pride for his choice in lieutenants."

Of course because of his ego (look at the obituary that appears when he dies) but GRATITUDE. Spoiling Courier Six with all the luxuries he can provide doesn't sound like a basic employee and employer relationship he likes to act like what they have is.

Mr. House: "In any case... this is an employer - employee relationship. I've given you an assignment, and the directions are clear."

If you want to take the G.E.C.K script notes into consideration they even says:

Mr. House: ''You know, I've had thousands of employees in my time. Few met my expectations, fewer still surpassed them.'' {You know, I never had much time for a family - if I did, you'd be the daughter/son I wish I'd had. Benny was almost like a son to me, but well...}

Courier Six being loyal to Mr. House means so much more to him then he'd ever want to admit. EVEN AT THE END OF THE GAME WHEN THE PLAYER HAS FINISHED THEIR WORK AT THE SECOND BATTLE OF HOOVER DAM HE AUTOMATICALLY GETS EXCITED DISCUSSING THEIR NEXT PLANS!!!!!

[himbos-hotline]

i was wondering if you had any thoughts about Kenny showing up to last wednesdays dynamite dressed more like the Cleaner and Belt Collector, while he was being a face?

i can kinda chalk it up to him trying to look professional and maybe that he didn't want to show how emotional he was. and he could have used the sun glasses to hide his eyes for most of the promo, up until the end of it.

I have a lot of thoughts about it anon! so many thoughts about it! how in wrestling canon, the cleaner was technically a safety blanket in a sense for Kenny. Something tougher and stronger than that blond haired kid we saw in DDT. something a lot braver than what Kenny was, a lot colder. The first real showing of Cleaner!Kenny was specifcally because Kota went to NJPW in the heavyweight devision, somewhere Kenny couldnt follow and so, he let all those feelings of anger and fear and loss and all those feelings wrapped up and so Kenny turns cold. You see it in an interveiw where he talks about it:

so like, clearly the cleaner is like a safety blanket for Kenny, if Hes hurtful and cold and angry, nobody can love an ice cube because itll just melt between your fingers. So now, hes been left and abadoned by the people he loves all over again.

The bucks LOVE kenny and kenny LOVES the bucks thats clear through everything theyve gone through. Even when Hangman was pulling away while Kenny was tag partners with him, Kenny always made sure the bucks were okay and settled before going back to hangman. Kenny loves the bucks through everything and theyve always been there for him. A constant, yet another safety blanket for him.

but now they've gotten so lost in their own feelings, the Bucks arent the ones Kenny stood and opposite all those years ago, they arent the ones with the bright colours. theyve morphed into something that Kenny can't really see, much like how Kenny morphed into cleaner and that must scare him. Must shock him, that he can see little bits of his heartbreak in someone elses eyes, that he sees himself reflected back in their eyes. So, what does Kenny do. he reverts back into that cleaner mindset but softer.

Something gentler. Like having a comfort toy put through the washer. Its fur and paws are still the same just gentler through the touch. Kenny coming out in the cleaner attire suits and aviators means a lot. He's still the cleaner that hurts and maims but with a different outlook this time. Kenny has morphed into a ghost that haunts the elite and the bucks, much like how he haunts over Adam squared and much how Kota haunts everything that Kenny does.

The ghost of Kenny omega even to himself.

[mousesquared]

Hi! How did you realize you were aplspec? I'm questioning myself and am having such a hard time figuring it out lol...

(disclaimer that all of this is my personal experience and i dont speak for all aplspec people) oh also im gonna be saying i/me but this realization was a mix of mouses and mine (toby)

prepare for a long one cause i like to talk a lot i guess

i think it kinda hit me when i really thought about platonic attraction. im aroace and so dont experience romantic or sexual attraction and so thinking of a platonic version of that was a bit confusing. there were only a couple people i could remember feeling a pull towards to either be their friend or be closer as friends. with other friends it just kind of happened? they were someone i talked to about similar interests or in groups with mutual friends and a friendship just happened because of that. i didnt have a goal or pull to specifcally to try and get closer to them, it just happened because of where we hung around.

i know not all alloplatonic friendships are built on an urge to be friends or closer friends, but i do think my experience of it is in an aplatonic(spec) way. there is also the part where i dont specifcally have an urge to need close friends. i of course enjoy it when i do. but when i realized i was aplspec i only had like 2 past friends that i still occasionally texted but we were super distant. i didnt really miss an emotional bond with someone, i just wanted to talk to people. i was lonely in the sense that all my thoughts were having to be kept inside by head with no way out. and when i seeked out a place to talk about them, thats where friendships formed. i didnt join that community in order to get close friends, i just wanted discussion.

most of the time when it comes to friends, i am seeking the activity, the action, the nonloneliness. it is nice to have people fufilling that with me that i like! but with friends i have a really hard time gauging steps in relationships. i have been known to either talk to someone for a very short time and all of a sudden regard us as very close and i have been known to talk to someone and be friends with them for years, and then not consider them as close as they consider me. the latter isnt usually about me not liking them as much as others, i just dont realize how they view our friendship and have trouble gauging that kind of stuff for myself. i think that comes from just having trouble gauging how people see me in general. personally i think thats an autism thing but it affects my aplatonicism so its also an aplatonic thing!

i also think that i view friendship as like a complete separate step than just talking to someone a lot. that may seem like a contradictory thing to what ive said before. but the fact that i seek talking to people and interacting with others, thats why i was ok with not really having friends for a stretch of time. struggling with gauging friendship makes me see friendship as something that has to be kind of barrier you eventually cross instead of it just building up. i often dont realize when we cross that barrier and of course the other person doesnt feel the need to express it because we are already friends in their eyes. i am often hit with the "oh i guess we are friends now" thought. even with the few people i have felt platonic attraction to.

so TLDR: i realized platonic attraction is actually a thing, and most of the time i dont have an actual pull to be friends/closer with people. i dont usually seek the companionship of friends, usually just the sociable & activity doing aspect. i care about my friends but i dont view my care for them as a platonic attraction. i also have trouble gauging relationship levels with people and often dont realize we are friends until they say something or i realize im spending a lot of my time with them. (reminder that im aplspec, not 100% aplatonic too!)

[lenoraven]

Hello fellow yttders!!! Tis i!! The midori connoseuer who drew him once during jeandori takeover.

Under cut is a midori centered (Though The main cast have alot of elaboration on them, too.) yttd bungo stray dogs au me and 3 other people thought on a bit.

I intended to do something bigger with it. But since im working on the midori dating sim. I just cant. So im using this as a sort of hivemind post for anyone to compile ideas for this au!!!

So! Let us start with the *new* ability users and their abilities

Sou 'midori' hiyori:

Ability: "the silence of the lambs"

Affiliation: Armed detective agency. (Early story)

Rats in the house of the dead (later in the story)

This ability, allows anyone with contact to midori to establish a mental connection to, midori. Where they can swap out conciousness, speak telepathically. Or even hear the other persons thoughts and emotions. Midori is the one in control of all of that, though.

Now, as you might have guessed. This *does* have something to do with shin. Specifcally, midori ripped a layed of his skin, sew it into a scarf. Which shin now wears!! Meaning as long as that scarf is on shin. They can swap out conciousnessnesses! Shin is aware of this.

Funfacts: in yttd we see that midori has a very slight hunch. In this au, its due to shins bad posture, blowing his cover whenever he was in midoris body. So after many horribly gone attempts in fixing shins posture, Midori had to compromise.

Midori mostly uses shins conciousness in situations where his "non human way of thinking" would be a hindrance like: when he was passing the ada entrance exam.

Gin ibushi:

The switch is instant. And happens in the blink of an eye.

The name "midori" was given to him by the ada

Ability: "Knuffle kitty"

Affiliation: port mafia

Gins ability, allows any plushie animal, organ, or essentialy 'living tissue' made by gin. To become functional as if it were a living thing. With gins ability, you can easly replace someones organs or limbs as long as theres a surgeon to attach the plushie limbs to the actual host. He can also create poisonous animals to then throw at his enemies. Which is whoever is watching over him most of the time. (Lets face it. Its shin and sou who're getting stuff thrown at them.)

Fun facts: gin was transferred to the port mafia via saras request.

Kyuusaku and gin were buddies before Q witnessed the horrors.

Mori views gin as a sort of "mini yosano" and has a little collection of poisonous insects which gin has made for offensive use.

When dazai first met gin, in chuuyas presence. When gin began speaking in his "woof, meow" s. Dazai pointed at chuuya and said "he talks like you"

Joe tazuna:

Ability: 「トリプルドッグデスバラージ」 (TRIPLE DOG DEATH BARRAGE!) (Sorry i had to)

Affiliation: port mafia

His ability. Is self explanitory.

There are three dogs.

They will death barrage you.

And they regenerate atsushi style.

Funfacts: hes here due to!! Sara!!

He tried to get ryoko (was that her name??? Doner kabab gurl.) Into the port mafia too, but sara said its too dangerous for her.

Sara chidouin:

Ability: "Muses, mad men and prophets."

Affiliation: Port mafia

Her ability is meant for crowd control, and large, quick genocide. Whenever sara kills someone. They manifest as a "hallucination." Of themselves. Which wander around like normal passerbys. She, can swap her location with any of these "hallucinations" . No matter how far.

Hallucinations cannot be contained. And pass through walls. Hallucinations will dissipate after an hour has passed.

Funfacts: she works with kouyou for her training.

She was introduced to the port mafia via her father.

She kicks ass

Reko yabusame:

Ability: "perfect pitch"

Affiliation: port mafia

Juonos hearing. She can detect sound waves. She is all hearing. She detects them snitches.

Funfacts: she came to the port mafia for alice.

She and nao are girlfriends

Tia safalin:

Ability: "Babushka's doll"

Affiliation: none (sort of.) She does freelance work for whatever faction needs her. She has the most expirience working for the special ability division, rats in the house of the dead and the port mafia.

Her ability allows her to create dolls which she can give a portion of her memories to, they will then function as normal people. And can go through with tasks.

Funfacts: i got none

Maple:

YUP!!! MAPLES FINALLY GETTIN SCREEN TIME!!!!

Ability: "The tea party in the woods"

Affiliation: none (because she deserves happiness)

Her ability causes the person shes using her ability on, to expirience a vision in their mind. Which time does not pass in. The vision will display the most comforting envoirment for the person the ability is used on. Maple, can interact with the other person during this vision. And the vision can only be stopped once the host, has drunk a whole cup of tea. This room can be used as a sort of quick therapy room, or somewhere to share confidential information with. Only 3 can enter at a time.

Funfact: she comes to the cafe under the ada very often, and has made great friends with lucy and atsushi. Shes also met midori, but its just a little baby crush.

Now, we get to characters with no ability, and their affiliations.

Alice Yabusame:

Hes part of the port mafia due to reko

Yelling. Alot of it.

Shoved in here by midori so he pays for the attempted murder

Tries his best.

Keiji shinogi:

Affiliation: Armed detective agency.

The wahaha man.

Hes a little like ranpo, in that he has no ability but is very preceptive.

When he joined the ada midori was so panicked he forced shin to interact with him. So now midori has to act like shin whenever keiji is talking to him.

Its not fun.

His arrival at the ada was NOT expected.

He was transferred to the ada from the speacial ability division.

Kanna!!! :

Affiliation: port mafia, because she kicks ass.

She helps out with mais bakery alot since its right below her house.

Shes learned alot from sara. And it shows in her fighting style.

She fights with her FISTS

She likes kyoka alot. Kinda sad shes in the ada, and sneaks to go to the cafe to see kyoka.

During one of these sneaking sessions shin (in midoris body) spotted her. And now shin has to cover for her whenever shes off to see kyoka.

Just. Genuinely a very kind girl

She doesnt deserve to be in the port mafia. And everyone knows that.

She could probably beat chuuya in a fist fight if chuuya didnt use his ability.

Shin tsukimi:

Affiliation: port mafia.

Shoved in here by midori.

Everyone and everything is out to kill him so he has a gun and several knives under his very large coat.

Most of his time is spent yelling at computers because theyre too slow for his liking.

Picks fights with sara over the stupidest little things, which sara wasnt even disagreeing with him on.

The unfortunate person who has to watch over all the children

Koyou scares him.

Higuchi is like the only non intimidating person to him, and exclusively because of how non-decietful she is.

Hatred for dazai osamu

Admiration of chuuya nakahara

Hatred of mori

Confusion of akutagawa ryuunosuke

People i dont have much thoughts on:

Megumi is a part of the special ability division.

Hayasaka is a member of the port mafia

The satous are part of the port mafia.

Mishima and nao live normal lives.

Q-taro is a part of the guild.

Hanako is an ex port mafia member

Clown girl is leading a normal life as a clown. (But im kinda considering throwing her in rithod and giving her an ability)

Ranmaru joined the port mafia for sara

Miley works with tia. But has ties to the port mafia

Teki....is teki???

Shes like..the miku of bsd i guess.

Main plot points im experimenting with: (midori exclusive)

Midoris motive from joining the ada being finding fyodor due to more information on "god" and assuming they follow the same god for this.

Midori being found out by dazai/ranpo/keiji , because midori is forced to switch into shins body to save shins ass during an ada raid. (Probably during the cannibalism) because midori isnt skilled enough in combat to hide his combat style. And shin cant fight for shit.

Midori getting his ass beat by keiji due to giving him piss hair and trauma.

Midori and fyodor kiss and make out (aka midori magically manifests in the tower during dead apple because his ability would just...be a copy of shin)

[twofacedsystem]

if we are going with the federation au (theory?) which if you don't know what it is basic description is foolish, jaiden, quackity and el quackity grew up together raised by the federation before coming to the island but don't remember their time there but subconsciously are drawn to the federation examples are making deals, working for them or being foolish and actively trying to be best pals with the federation if we were to go with "they had jobs in the federation" then here is what i think what jobs they may be!

in another tumblr post @/yippiecubitos explained beautifully why jaiden wouldn't be the scientist one experimenting or building robots and such but i know people really want someone for this role which i present to youuuu Scientist El Quackity! - my reasoning for el quackity goes more with egg a1 and that maybe he is good at mimicking people but in reality would rather create and experiment testing others emotions can be apart of that - important to note here i feel like El quackity never actually separated from the federation. maybe the others had a hard time escaping and he was caught and dragged back? or the other left because they wanted to and were allowed to so he was left by himself. host quackity! - with quackity i think his purpose was to introduce people to the island and make them feel welcome and comfortable like a host would. i feel like this fits a lot especially in the early days because he was always helping both communities Spanish and English to talk to eachother. this fits a lot with him being busy a lot of the time to fix the island, fix the island and make it look nice and somewhat presentable.

-i think that making people friends with eachother and him always being busy with the island is a subconsious feeling because of his time with the federation and he takes it as "oh i just like it this certain way and i just love seeing others get along :]" because he just doesn't remember his time with the federation and doesn't have any reason to question it designer Jaiden

-this would be very fitting for her because she is a great designer as we can see in her creations examples being her drawings outside of the smp or her creation with bobby fields - i imagine her time in the federation designing things and drawing they had a specifc drawing wall with her and foolish's drawings Builder foolish -i feel like this one is quite obvious on why i have given him the builder title i mean just look up "foolish's builds minecraft" and you get to see all of the amazing things he has been able to build.

-i imagine that foolish was first a builder going through basic building instructions and having some fun with building but also had a love for making cooler buildings not basic houses but more themed he wanted to build what he drew but was unable to

-if you want to fit into the headcanon that he can choose what his height could be at any moment i think it'd be really funny to imagine what he was like in the federation building a basic house like legos or having trouble controlling his powers to the point cucurucho had to make a large room specifically for him when he was having a hard time this is what i personally believe and i think its pretty cool ngl

[weightless-feathers]

Theories of Duke's and Kay's powers

After re-watching S1 (again), I've realized some stuff about the abilities of Duke and Kay. Which might explain why Duke is so introverted (and a couple of other things too).

I'd love to hear more thoughts about all of this, so feel free to leave your comments and opinions.

(I'm only taking S1 in consideration, therefore this has spoilers for all S1. Also this might be a bit long; you have been warned.)

DUKE

The way Duke fights and showcases his powers lead me to assume a couple of things:

He is able to, not only control energy, but also recognize and change its properties. This is why he managed to get rid of Selly's G-force Nanobombs, he instructed them to stop working.

He can only do this if the energy is: contained somewhere (the smaller and simpler the container is, the better he can use his abilities), instructed to do something (for example, inside a train the energy has to do certain things, like well, keep them alive), and in direct contact with him.

He is more sensitive than other trains to small changes in the energy around him. Is not just like when, for example, someone sees how much energy other train has left, no, Duke can tell exactly what is going on with them, this is very clear when:

In the middle of the second battle, he was able to tell Kay was reformated, which is weird because in EP3 Selly herself (mechanic and doctor) was unable to guess it just by looking at Kay.

Kay's engine was about to become "strange" before the Other World incident, and he tried to make Kay train with him.

So, where is this going?

I think Duke can literally feel how other trains feel, he's basically an "emotional reader" where, even if he doesn't want to, he can sense the internal state of anyone that's around him. This must be very overwhelming for him, to the point he just doesn't want to be around too much people (also this is why he doesn't show up on the race events as Alf pointed out in EP16, having to interact with some many people must drain him a lot). He sees how others just don´t like him that much, (something that was happening even before the accident), which must be a pain to deal with, especially since he has done nothing to gain such reputation (which he held even before the virus incident). Despite all of that, he still likes to help others, which is honestly very kind of him.

In addition, his base seems to be made to have as less stimulants as possible, no colors, no stuff in general. He already deals with too much changes and feelings, so he needs a quiet and simple place where he can just rest from everything.

Oh and before the incident I'd assume he used his powers for healing reasons, simmilar to what he did in EP29, where he managed to woke up a train by giving him some kind of "electric shock". The virus made him use that ability to damage Kay's engine in a more specifc and dangerous way than any other train could have done, he focused the electric damage in order to burn Kay's engine, or at the very least leave him more exposed to regular attacks.

Though, this power could be the main reason why he survived after the final episode, he managed to wrap the energy around his engine and protect it from over-heating. He must have an insane control over all of his body, which means that he will use the energy in the best way possible, making his engine very efficient, and almost as fast as Kay's.

On the brightside, this means that the trains he actually interacts with (aka Kay and Selly) mean a lot to him. So much so that he can just relax with them, as he knows they care about him and, regardless of how they might feel at the moment, they still respect him as a co-worker and as a friend.

In conclussion, Duke can:

Know how trains around him feel.

Probably guess when someone is lying to him, though he wouldn't have a 100% accuracy.

Heal (and hurt) other trains through energy manipulation.

Control the energy inside himself for efficiency or protection.

KAY

I think that weirdly enough, Duke's and Kay's powers are pretty simmilar, it's just that they're focused on different aspects of the energy. Duke interacts with "living" things, while Kay interacts directlly with the enviroment around him. I'll have to specultae a bit more here since despite everything Kay's properties are more ambigous than Duke's.

From what I can tell, the requirments for Kay to use his abilities are:

The energy needs to be flowing freely, if it's being being used by someone or something (a train, a smaller machine, etc) he won't be able to use it, however this has an excepting which I'll go into later.

He should have his equipment on, otherwise he won't have total control over his powers (this is why he lost control on EP25, rather than enhancing, his equipment seems to lock his whole potential because otherwise he won't be able to use his special capabilities without hurting himself).

Preferibly the energy should be strong and connected to other flows of energy (basically, the more areas that are connected through the tunnels, the more powerful he becomes).

But how does this affect the areas and Kay himself?

First, the fact that he can use and change the properties of abnormal amounts of energy means that he can also change the space (and maybe even time in most extreme cases) he is in, that's why he can open tunnels and connect different areas.

The levels of electric flow of the different zones probably affect his mood and behaviour too. He needs to be in constant movement to maintain his engine functioning correctly, which means that, the more contact he has with different kinds of energy (and areas), the better he feels. He needs adrenaline and stimulants (like training) to be at his best physical and mental capacities. That's why his base is basically a rollercoaster, it just makes the start of his days a little easier.

On a side thought, it appears as if the energy itself seeks for him, he's a pretty much a magnet that can store huges amounts of energy, which would explain how he managed to go back into the rails on EP1 (and EP25) despite being out on outer-space/void.

About him traveling to the Other World on EP25; that's the best example of what happens when he's not in full control of things, Duke was able to tell something was going to happen (due to the things I've mentioned before) and wanted to prevent it, but he didn't thought that Kay would lose control so quickly.

I wonder, if Kay was able to literally rip a whole in space-times and hop to another dimension, what else is he capable of? Are there more trains like him? Is him somehow related to Alpha?

And here comes the exception I talked about a while ago, Kay managed to use Alpha's cargo, or at least the energy inside of him, this was probably because: A. It produced so much energy that it basically became an "area" on it's own, B. For some reason, the cargo allowed Kay to use the energy on it (simmilar to what Duke did when he helped Kay with the Intercontinental Railroad construction).

Conclussions:

Kay not only enjoys adrenaline and training, he needs it to keep his engine (and himself) "healthy".

Kay is more powerful the more energy he has access to (or the more area's energy flows are connected to each other).

Kay can lose control of things unexpectedly.

His engine appears to carry some mystery, and maybe Alpha has something to do with it.

More notes:

All of that was the reason Kay able to hold the energy of all areas and use it in a single attack on EP2, he transformed everything into a huge circuit with him as the "on and off" mecanism.

Before that event, he probably asked Selly and Jeffrey what would happen if he ever did that a movement like that, they probably told him something like -Kay, DON'T EVER DO THAT YOU FUCKING IDIOT, YOUR ENGINE IS GONNA GET FRIED! YOU WOULD GET A LOT OF DAMAGE EVEN IF YOU WERE AT YOUR BEST PERFORMANCE.- and then he replied -I'd never ever do that guys, I promise... BUT JUST IN CASE I'M GONNA GIVE IT A COOL NAME!-

And this is were the ability "overdrive" goes into place. I've searched and over-drive has two main meanings, when we talk about machines, is the point of maxium power and/or best use of energy of the engine. If we talk about people, it's the moment where you are left completely exahusted and cannot keep going any longer, basically, you drive yourself to exhaustion. So he literally surpases his engine's regular capacities in order to use all of the areas' electricity, or at least most of it, leaving him too tired to even move after that. That's also why in the second battle Duke apparently drained most of the energy of the available areas, he didn't want to risk Kay doing something simmilar again.

I know I've been hoping through a lot of topics during this analysis, so I want to close it with a more wholesome thought. The kind of bond that Kay and Duke share makes so much more sense to me now, let me explain. Kay is different from the rest because he geniunely needs and enjoys adrenaline and training, that's what his engine demands. Duke needs some distance and a quiet space for him to feel alright, that's just how his powers work.

They understand very well what is like to be pretty different from the average robot-trains, and take time to support eachother as there's no one else than can understand them so well in this specifc aspect of their lifes.

Before the accident, Kay probably tried to do most of the social stuff for Duke (while also giving him), while Duke helped Kay with the most boring and repetitive tasks so Kay didn't get too frustrated.

I like to imagine them having a conversation like this: Kay: "What did I say Duke?"

Duke: "We are not like the average robot-trains..."

Kay: "And?"

Duke: "And... that's okay."

Kay: "AND THAT'S FRICKING AWESOME!"

Duke: "Y-YEAH, yeah?"

Kay: "YES!"

[juggaliciouz]

my roman empire except its just a massive lusan rant

SPOILERS FOR ONE PIECE.

i think abt them so much it physically pains me. theyre just so??? perfect??? like- i cannot stress this enough. the way that sanji takes care of luffy (and the rest of the crew obvi) all the time. and then wci comes around and luffy takes care of sanji like that and i was in SHAMBLES. LIKE?? theyre nade for each other.

in other news, uh- their song is the moon will sing by the crane wives bc i said so.

coupling that with the dynamic of them both having the possibilty of them turning into someone they arent (stealth black and nika respectivly) makes me ILL. especially when its so specifc??? like, both cases alter their emotional state??? they ARE the sun and moon, i think.

plus, the start of their relationship literally being luffy noticing sanjis kindness, without even tasting his food, and deciding that he HAD to be his cook. like?? theyre so cute??

i think about them very often.

[stillfruit]

It takes me a long time to understand some things if they're not too obvious so I had a difficult time watching true detective a few years ago. Do you have any tips to rewatch it and maybe understand a little more? 👉👈

omg of course, i love to hear that you would want to rewatch true detective (applies to s1 only i haven't watched beyond that)!!

to base this a little, please don't worry over understanding and not understanding something too much. everyone thinks, experiences and processes media differently, and our understandings of what counts as 'understanding media' also differ (understanding in different contexts can mean an analytical understanding of the core themes identified through a specific framework, or an emotional reaction and a feeling of connection to the thing that's difficul to articulate, and so on and so forth). there's no universal objective level of 'understanding' and what you deem is enough for you is enough! being comfortable and confident enough to interpret things yourself while remaining receptive of other perspectives (including the perspectives of the story and its author) is what's most important in 'understanding' things. also secondly, not everything is for everyone and sometimes something just doesn't click because of that.

i'm not sure what aspects specifically you would want to understand more, but here are few things on how i approach the story:

there are overall themes i find interesting in true detective such as (toxic) masculinity (it's about men who are bad in specifc and systemic ways), narratives (internal as in how you construct yourself, like marty consistently justifying cheating on maggie; and external and institutional, like religion), power and autonomy (police and people with money have the power to do what they want), and existentialism (rust lacks overall meaning of why he is alive). they serve as lenses through which you interpret the story - kind of like picking an academic framework (theory) and looking at the data (story) through that.

there are many things that happen in the story and because s1 was so big back in 2014 there are numerous thinkpieces and video essays about it, all of them picking various aspects they see as central. because true detective is what it is (surface level edgy dudebro nihilist police man annihilates everyone around him by being so nihilist and cool show), some are very bad. i'm not that interested in the kind of analysis that looks super closely at the intertextual aspects of the story, for instance, or "the philosophy" of it (if that means looking at what rust says, taking that at face value, and connecting the story to existentialist philosophy based on that). just reflect on what interests you and see how the story looks and feels when examined through those perspectives.

a lot of the time i like looking at things through and by focusing on characters, and i think this is especially crucial when it comes to true detective (which is a heavily character driven story. sure it of course matters that they are police and that they are in louisiana and that there are murders etc but those things are not what the story is about). looking at a character contextualizes that character (what they say and do and represent) and rust is an excellent example of this. he talks in a cynical and pessimistic manner, looks down upon others, is very capable in terms of violence, is alienated and alienates other people, is obsessive, has issues with substance abuse, and his house is the definition of that one r/malelivingspace meme.

however, when you look at what he has been through and how he behaves (as well as how the narrative treats him) these things are contextualized not as 'behaviour you should look up to and which is good and correct from the perspective of the story, or at the very least is very cool and/or edgy, because he's the protagonist' (media analysis 101) but behavior of someone who struggles with ptsd, trauma and his own feelings of empathy in a world that has been very unkind to him since his childhood. when rust is saying things like 'time is a flat circle nothing can change' he's coping and trying to make himself believe it because he's incapable of processing, realizing, or externalizing any of the trauma he's been through or any of the care he feels in a healthy manner (which is quite explicit in, for example, how he empathizes so intensely with people who are dead). he's brilliant at rationalizing everything and it's terrible for him. the ways in which marty constantly lies to himself are quite explicit and rust is one of the people pointing them out, but rust is coping by creating his own narrative of his self and the reality all the same.

(better articulations of his character specifically are to be found eg here, here, and here)

so, maybe if i were to articulate the core thing for understanding true detective (or really any media) it would be looking at what happens on screen in the story in terms of actions and speech and then reflecting on how that relates to what's 'actually' going on, what kinds of things are being left unsaid, and why. there are various explicit examples of the theme of narratives and unreliable narrators as well that tell you that this is what's important (such as the interrogation narration of the ledoux confrontation and showing on screen what actually happened).

something i do when i watch or read media (that is engaging enough in a good or a bad sense to warrant this) is writing about it on my personal notes app (now obsidian so i can organize everything) in the same way i would talk about it to someone else. i also save interesting writings etc there so i remember and find them later, and write my own thoughts on those things there as well, having my own private discussion with them (which. is a lonely thing to do but shh).

few blogs who have written super interesting things about true detective which i highly recommend you check out (because seeing the perspectives of others is inherently one of the most enriching experiences and helps you understand so much) include @inkandcayenne and @sketiana. iirc there are some good video essays on youtube as well but i can't name any because it's been too many years since i watched any.

a central thing that makes true detective so meaningful to me personally is exactly the fact that many of the themes i care about in it are not super explicit or vocalized in obvious ways (saying 'i want to die because i'm sad' doesn't hit but describing death as a warm and welcoming substance does). i hope you have fun looking into where you find emotion and meaning <3

sorry this went a bit off track tldr have fun and be yourself, lmk how you feel about the story afterwards if you want!

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

its interesting to me because interpretations are so vague and personal. (wrt faith in the future). some of them to me i was like ‘oh he could be talking about zayn here’ but consciously being aware that perhaps instead it could be read as being romantic partner etc. i can never quite get along with people who report on lyrics interpretation like fact. i am however very interested by chicago, and who’s had a baby! that feels quite pointed in a way a lot of it isnt otherwise.

I think the questions about how Louis presents his life on this album are far more fruitful for discussion than what this album tells us about his life (where it really is a 'you pay your money and you take your choice' situation) and I do want to talk about it a little bit.

What I find so interesting about As aChicago (which I haven't connected with as a song much) is that it can't be mapped onto Louis' life by fans. It has these very specific references - to having a baby and to spending time in Chicago - that just don't match onto anyone in Louis' life that fans know about.

The effect of this is to draw a really strong line and say 'actually you won't know what these songs are about'. It's the opposite of including 'Princess Park' in Habit.

Going one step further, we have 'Saturdays'. We know that Louis hasn't lived a 'Saturdays take the pain away' life since he was 18. If Chicago won't allow fans to map the song onto what they know of Louis' life, this song goes one step further and makes it clear

Now none of this means that his songs aren't connecting with real emotions or experiences that he has. But I think he's actively creating distance to provide himself space to explore in a way that is less constrained by the stories people tell about him. (That gets a little Carly Simon - I'll acknowledge it might not be entirely conscious and I'm not suggesting it's at the centre of his songwriting decisions). Because once you have Saturdays and Chicago, it's very difficult for people to claim they know exactly what a song is about for you.

As a listener, I think the move away from specificity is a shame, particularly when it comes to slower songs. My love for specifcity is well-documented - if he's going to tell stories I want them fuller. But that might not serve his purpose, as it would be clear which were stories. And it's how he's navigating this that I find interesting.

[cenedel]

Raja Yoga

Raja Yoga is about the development of the Mind.

In the book, Raja Yoga - Atkinson, William Walker, It is expressed as a matter of importance that we develop the strength, accuracy, awareness of our perceptions.

"By using and exercising the faculties that we have, we help to unfold those for the coming of which we have been dreaming." - Raja Yoga

In this statement, there is produced an illustration in the mind of the process of developing the senses. A lesser capacity to sense, through laziness to pay better attention; and achievably much greater capacity to sense, given the proper attention and efforts.

The author describes the development of the senses through evolutionary process; Starting with a vague sense of touch, and developing higher to finer detailed sense of touch, all the way up to hearing and seeing.

Seeing, initially thought of could be viewed as a kind of teleportation of information from the object to the eye; but is in all actuality a highly refined sense of touch. The touch of light into your receptors. The mind receives the information and you become aware of it immediately. Seeing is a highly refined way of feeling, tuned in specifically to a kind of energy, light.

Hearing, much the same, is a refined reception of feeling specifcally tuned in to a kind of energy, sound.

Knowing that all things emit an energy, at various levels, of differing behaviours {heat, light, colour, intensity, vibrancy, sound, and the lack thereof}, consider your emotional sense. There are many of us who are able to feel other people's emotions, not just see their facial or bodily expression. This is because of the fact that our bodies are emitting energies, or 'radio signals' from the activity within. Just as the body gives off a wamrth; A thought or feeling gives off an energy carrying a message of its origin. Because each human body is designed to feel and be sensitive to varying types of energies, as it is designed to feel and be sensitive to varying types of textures on objects, it is without much effort to understand how it receives emotional signals from another human being.

Going back to your ordinary 5 senses; these all have their own organs by which the information comes into contact with the organ stimulating the process of mental interpetation. The ears hear, the eyes see, the tongue tastes, the skin feels, the nose smells.

All that being said, we know that what we use, grows stronger. When you exercise, your muscles strenghten. When you focus your attention to study and practice, you develop your mind. When you focus on moral conduct, you improve in that manner. But if you become lazy in a direction, and stop using a faculty, or stop doing a thing, the ability or strength of that thing is slowly lost.

Therefore, I am suspicious of the ancients, and their sciences. I am suspicious that they had something we don't. I suspect that they had developed a sense regarding a kind of information in the universe which we have forgotten, and thereby lost. I think we simply stopped paying attention to it, ignored it, and focused on other, easier things.

But there is hope, that in our bodies/minds remains the latent sense, that we can 'look into' and focus our attention on, encouraging that sense to develop to a greater capactiy, refine it, and interpret the information that is brought to us through that sense.

Imagine being able to feel, hear, smell, taste or see a completely new thing, a completely new field of existence.

"Through the doors of the senses Man receives all his information regarding the outside world. If he keeps these doors but half open, or crowded up with obstacles and rubbish, he may expect to receive but few messages from outside. But if he keeps his doorways clear, and clean, he will obtain the best that is passing his way." - Raja Yoga

[asafeplaceforus112]

the one dude thats like "go to therapy"

YEP thats whats happening but also it fucking expensive

I literally struggle to recognise emotions and then get stuck with a persons bad mood like "Fuck me what happened I was in a good mood a second ago???"

SO like I don't know

I know I'm being defensive but its just like fuck man, wanna go back to the sloppy kissing dude coz that felt less alone than the "live laugh love <3" bullshit and the "WELL YOU'RE ACTUALLY A BAD PERSON FOR HAVING EMPATHY! BUT I'M NOT TARGETING YOU SPECIFCALLY ONLY SOME PEOPLE" and like yeah, that makes sense but like at a certain point you have to recognise how sometimes thats a. not how your words come across and b. you are experiencing a different perspective, and maybe all the empaths you meet are the live laugh love bullshittery but I don't know peeps like me exist where its like "Yeah my morals don't match this brain and what of it"

I don't know I'm tired, I thought I'd get the normal "omg tumblr brings joy <3" that I usually enjoy but its not

last note

"observe, don't absorb" hwo the fuck is that going to help me

[thenextchapterbegins]

Special bulletin with vox himself

and guest

in continuation to this event with @melanrolli​

“Welcome all, sorry to pull all my lovely viewers from their televisions for whatever you were just watching we have breaking news that some of you may have seen last night but forgotten about, playwright having to strike again, this time with a living target, proclamations that a reign of terror has hit our streets and i am beginning to believe him or her. We have a special warning but we will save to the end of our showing, we have a guest today the detective that started investigations on the playwright killer when we were both younger and less tired.”

“Thank you for joining us mr?”

The camera pans to the tired grizzled detective rubbing the brow of his nose before reaching for a cup of coffee. “jack..jack irish, thanks for having me...if you had told me a few weeks ago an old killer would prop up again i would have said your crazy now im wishing that person was right.”

Vox chuckles softly. “trust me, i don’t think any of us want to fear walking around right now, so lets get to the brass tactics what can you tell us about this killer?”

Jack leans back. “not much, they always been slippery, but we have made some new finds since i began my investigations of this killer, we believe the killer is using magic specifcally time and blood its the reason why our dna tests keep coming back different each time it also could explain why he’s lived for so long whilst using blood magic or maybe he truly took a break we cant know for sure.”

vox raises a brow. “blood and time how you mean?”

“blood from what we have found out requires sacrifice to work memories, feelings, emotions, etc..you could technically use time, nothing is more important to ones livelyhood then time decades, minutes, or hours could power blood magic to little or incredible extremes..could kill ya real easy too...time magic requires life to work..without life time cannot age or reknew something...so, use blood to kill, use the blood of those you kill to use time to reknew yourself...give yourself back those hours you wasted...time never becomes useless because the killer always has to worry about not sacrificing too much time. In a sense he could be the first to claim to master blood magic with time magic...its not a good sign though.”

Vox listens intently nodding along before letting out a sigh. “what about the killer, the imp found alive gave a name right? how likely is it that the name given could be our killer?”

Jack takes another sip of his coffee. “its...not as likely as we hope, the name given is from what we can find a rival of the victim found, the suspect is an imp that would have no real way to master any of these magics nor the ability to find the books to acquire these magics...the suspect is hated by most and is clearly from what we can see too dysfunctional to pull out the mere siphosictations of these killings..we will of course look into it but we believe the victim is using the chance to witch hunt a rival they hate...the search goes on.”

Vox taps his fingers against the desk. “thats a shame, with how things are going do you have warnings or tips for the public or an idea of what the killers end goals could be.”

“dont go out at night if you dont have too, dont go out alone if you need to go out at night, avoid alleyways if you can, run dont confront the killer, just be smart as for end goals...we believed the killer was working himself up to eventually try and take on bigger prey..overlords, princes, icons...insane as it sounds..they stopped luckily but if their back they may feel they now have the ability to take these larger preys, if the killer does take an overlord or hell a prince down...we maybe looking at a new overlord and if he becomes an overlord it becomes out of our hands...” Jack finishes.

“Well thank you for joining us and good luck in your search.” The cameras pan to focus on vox fully. “as the detective stated please be careful out there, for all intensive purposes the killer has enacted his reign of terror, the streets of hell arent ours right now. their a playground for a killer who knows what he is doing and we can only hope he is caught or fucking just becomes an overlord and stops this shit because its costing us all alot of fucking money...alright, stay safe out there hell, vox signing out.”

[dekumaxxing]

wow i have not cried as long and hard as i did just now in a long time, if ever