#its just a little quirk of mine i guess. im not even religious in the slightest but anyway.

[teddytoroa]

a couple years ago i dreamt that i met god and they were actually a butch lesbian couple with grey hair and crinkly eyes and broad warm hands amd they lived in another dimension together in a large midcentury style house with a lot of natural(?) light and it was filled with trinkets theyd picked up on various trips to earth over the millennia. they welcomed me like we were old friends and i stood in their lounge watching the world turn in space through a big glass window in the floor while they made me tea and we talked about my future. it felt very real and normal and when i woke up my first thought was "holy fuck" and my second thought was "if i made a post about this nobody would believe i really dreamt all that theyd think i was lying oppa homeless style". but jokes on the nonbelievers because i have a disease that makes all my dreams super vivid and often realistic and coherent and i dream about meeting a sort of god all the time. this is genuinely very normal for me. anyway i thought i should post about god being an old butch lesbian couple who are besotted with each other and live in a cool house because that seems like something all you lesbians would like.

[brotherzsadist]

clears throat ALL 100 QUESTIONS

LISTEN BITCH YOU 6 PARTS I GOT TIRED

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name? Zsadist, no idea what my real name is 

Where and when were you born? I assume Erebus, over five thousand years ago

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.) Some pieces of shits, don’t know them don’t care

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? No idea if I have blood siblings

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

What is your occupation? South Korea with my husband and three kids

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks. 6′5, 220 lbs. I appear Asian don’t know why, eyes are brown, sometimes blue depending on my mood. I dress practical, leather, tees, boots, sneakers, sometimes jeans. I got plenty of scars, birthmark on my right hand, 5 piercings

To which social class do you belong? Depends on who you ask, I got money tho

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? No, no, and it’s not weakness but sometimes my hands go numb

Are you right- or left-handed? I can use both but I use my right hand mainly

What does your voice sound like? Like my voice? Uh, I’m a second tenor if that helps

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? Shits, gimme smooches, im sure there’s more but I don’t know off the top of my head

What do you have in your pockets? Currently -goes in his pocket- chapstick, my keys, and wallet

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? I lick faces, play with hair, I don’t know if anything’s really weird until its mentioned

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general? Fucked

What is your earliest memory? Waking up in a stone room with 10 other people

How much schooling have you had? None

Did you enjoy school? Never been

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? On my own or by people who sort became a mentor

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.  I had two. On the surface both of them scared the hell out of me. One willingly participated in pretty much being a co-master while the other at first was just around to fuck me too but he wasn’t so that’s great. Eventually found out both of them were big softies

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family? I didn’t

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Free

As a child, what were your favorite activities? singing, playing the guitar, and swimming

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? I was shy as fuck, quiet

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? What type of popular? Everyone wanted to fuck me and then as I got older everyone wanted to be fucked by me so....

When and with whom was your first kiss? I was about 12 or 13 and with my master

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? Nope. Again, 12 or 13 and with my master

If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today. Born a demon, when I was 15 my master and her friend did some crazy ass magic with her blood and mine and turned me into the first vampire

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? My youngest daughter’s birth

Who has had the most influence on you? Unfortunately, my master

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Luna

What is your greatest regret? I don’t have one

What is the most evil thing you have ever done? Tortured parents in front of their kids who I didn’t even think to check for because they were hiding

Do you have a criminal record of any kind? Pretty sure my life if a criminal record

When was the time you were the most frightened? I don’t even know, no wait. That’s a lie, Rajuli know’s so I won’t say it. 

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? Nothing, I don’t get embarrassed easily

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? Nothing because then I wouldn’t be who I am

What is your best memory? Playing the fields with the faeries with someone who was very dear to me

What is your worst memory? Finding out that person was killed, ordered by my master

PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? Both depending on the situation

What is your greatest fear? Losing my children and husband

What are your religious views? Everything and everyone exists

What are your political views? Don’t have one

What are your views on sex? It’s fun with the people/person otherwise I don’t care for it

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? Yup, I don’t harm children

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? Harm a child

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? That I do

What do you believe makes a successful life? As long as you’re happy and safe

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? Too honest, it’s how most of my fights with friends and family start

Do you have any biases or prejudices? I don’t think so

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? Again as long as it doesn’t involve harming a child, I’ll try anything once

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? My family

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how? It definitely changes on how I know them. I don’t trust easily so I tend to be cold, standoffish towards new people depending on the situation. I’m not rude unless you give a reason to be

Who is the most important person in your life, and why? My kids and husband, because they are my life

Who is the person you respect the most, and why? This has changed quite a few times, but imma say my Brother Vishous. No matter what happens he never changes

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people. There’s too many to list now, they all crazy as fuck in their own ways but also very caring

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person. I do. Rajuli is... He’s something else. Just when I think I’ve figured him out he hits me with another curve ball. but he’s so warm and cute even though he has his asshole moments but I love him and wouldn’t trade him for anyone

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened. Mutual love, twice now. First in my opinion felt like it ended up being one sided in the end. The second is currently with my husband.

What do you look for in a potential lover? Be honest with yourself, if you can do that then you can be honest with me and that’s all I ask for

How close are you to your family?  The family that I started, very close

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not? Yes, three kids and my husband and if he stops playing around we would have kids together

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? My Brothers

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? again my Brothers. We’ve been through a lot together and we hold no judgement towards each other

If you died or went missing, who would miss you? Hopefully my family and my friends

Who is the person you despise the most, and why? Parents, they fucking sold me into slavery

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? Avoid conflict, however I will stand my ground when I feel something isn’t fair or something that’s being done is wrong

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? Depends but yes

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? No, it gives me a headache

Do you care what others think of you? Depends on who it is, in general no, but those close to me, yes.

PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? Singing, guitar, racing, basketball

What is your most treasured possession? a hand drawing of me from my childhood

What is your favorite color? I like them all but I guess, blue

What is your favorite food? don’t have one

What, if anything, do you like to read? I don’t like reading 

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)? concert,  festivals, anything that has to do with the outdoors

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit? Yes I do. I cut back on the smoking and drinking just because I do have a 10 month old

How do you spend a typical Saturday night? At home with the man and kids being dorks

What makes you laugh?I find humor in anything, you fell down and scrapped your knee? I’m bent over dying of laughter

What, if anything, shocks or offends you? Nothing

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? Play the guitar or piano, taking pictures of the husband sleeping, sing to Luna

How do you deal with stress? go to work

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?  a little of both

What are your pet peeves? I don’t like when someone clearly isn’t happy and doesn’t express it, almost as if they expect me to know what is wrong