#its happened before it'll happen again
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I made a nightfury subspecies thing heavily based on wildtype axolotls (and also gechos (I love them so much you have no idea))
My headcanon that lightfuries are bred by humans to be cute pets but then a shit ton got released / escaped and ran off to live in the wild (kinda like pigeons) is fueled by axolotls (and pigeons)
#its happened before it'll happen again#do not abandon your animal friends#axolotl#httyd#night fury#this wasn't meant to be a lightfury redesign but Im using the tag so I won't bother the people with it blocked#id be upset too#Lightfury redesign#dragon#axolotl dragon#Httyd art#httyd fanart#dragon art
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
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You've never done that when I got close to you before. Why? None of your business. Tell me, or you can't leave.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 10
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#uservid#userspring#userrain#pdribs#userspicy#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#every time i color this scene i get stronger. anyway there were so many expressions i just couldnt leave out. the deep breath ai di takes#steeling himself before admitting it. & the way chen yi absorbs it the way he blinks away & his mouth opens before focusing on ai di again#thinking about it. thinking about four years of attacks ai di had to withstand. understanding the way he is now but hating how its happened#and also the guilt hes gotta feel from that! & yet thats overcome in this moment by a need to not let ai di put a wall between them#which is what ai di keeps trying to do. he admits a vulnerable thing and then deflects FOUR TIMES in this scene. first when sleeping#& choking chen yi when woken(& avoiding when questioned abt it). second by dropping his guard & worrying when he finds chen yi injured#& twice more shown in this set. he has to shake it off he has to put his wall back up but his instincts are strongest & chen yi SEES them.#you can see the way ai di wants to relax into that hug. the way he just wants to BREATHE but instead uses those breaths to defend himself#he chooses to flirt hoping it'll make chen yi back off. hoping he'll stop asking him to be vulnerable. but chen yi knows his tricks now.#and hes not going to let ai di continue believing he doesnt CARE about him. its poetic the way he gives him a taste of his own medicine#like it's *strategic*. he watches and learns. he knows his own influence over ai di he knows that HE is ai di's weakness. it's..chef's kiss
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the unhealthy dynamic
#smunker's unwillingness to ever give up on somebody/unwillingness to Leave First vs#talon's severe hot and cold moods where he's good for a few days then#brings smunker to tears another day and then the next day its like nothing happened because talon#struggles to apologize and decides to make up for it with nice actions instead...before it happens all over again#oc text#a doodley#some days it'll be fine and talon will wish he could get to the level smunker is with small optimism in the face of everything#the next he'll be getting angry at smunker for being too excited about something#ive mentioned this before but he has issues with seeing skunker as ''me if i was Better/if it had Gone Better''#+ sometimes he gets jealous + just wants to drag him back down to Anguish
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they were out of line for this. by the way.
#snap chats#LIIIIIIIIKKKKKEEEE STOP YOU BETTER STOP#reminded myself to make this post after that other ask..... heh...#i feel like i did call attention to this before. 🧍♂️ idk i think about it a lot..#too late lamers im doing it again because it still makes me scream and want to eat metal#this family is disgustingly intertwined with each other im going to throw up#like the more obvious parallel with ichi and the arakawas is him going out for new years dinner with arakawa. or attempting to#buuuuuttt this one is almost shot-for-shot the same bit and its OUGH. STOP. im GOING insane#theyre fam whether they like it or not </3#wahh...... lad8 come soon i wanna see these two's relationship progress. or whatever weird situation it'll be in#i wonder why jo even points ichi to akane... is it to REALLY close that chapter of their lives for good ?#is it some feeling of responsibility for what happens to ichi now that arakawa's gone ?#is it guilt for keeping ichi from the truth of his birth parents for this long ? wowzers...#ok bye im gonna go be sick elsewhere
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also my ear(drum) is still fucked up and actually it's worse than yesterday. so that's also just so awesome
#I'm having such a good time :)))#I keep trying to pop it and it just HURTS#so bad#it's also very loud#so something is definitely not right but it has happened several times before and always went away on its own so I don't want to waste a#whole day going to the ent doctor again#I've got an appointment in two months I can wait that long#maybe it'll stop happening#but he'd just shrug and say oh well I don't know either 🤷 cause that's happened with everything regarding this stupid ear.#so. it's pointless anyway#but the pain is making me even more annoyed than I already am#it feels like I can't hear anything on that side. but it's actually just extremely muffled.#it's so so so annoying#personal
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same soup... different day
#hello it is sarah in the tags again#i feel like i tell myself i'll actually use this as a blog and then i forget and then i remember and then i forget again#venting ahead if that is not ur jam (talking to the 2 followers who actually see my posts)#i like tumblr because it;s so removed from my personal life that it feels really like a place i dont have to be anything for anyone#anyway i've been wondering if i should go back to therapy again but i feel like they might get tired of me because i keep bailing and comin#back like an addict lol like i swear i'll commit this time! sike. ghost be upon ye#anyway this time i'd come in for the big D#i don't like the floor it just feels closer to being six feet under and a bit like where i belong#i feel like a great number of things have happened in the past year and i've met all of it with a very lukewarm sense of dread and anxiety#its not even about feeling happy i dont even think i can feel shaken by anything. i feel like people see my apathy and think it's confidenc#anyway im not going back. they always say the same thing. can't do shit about shit life syndrome. and i don't want pills i'm so sick of the#isn't it something that i'm especially depressed the day before i start my new job? it's a tradition at this point. cheers#isn't it cruel that everyone in my life seem to put me on some kind of bizarre pedestal and no one questions my decisions or authority and#i battle with myself to figure out if i'm doing the right thing (no one will tell me the truth they are all scared of me getting angry)#was talking with a friend about how it'll be if i join their group project in a module we're taking soon.#and she's like well isn't it obvious? everyone will just listen to whatever you say and we'll end up doing well.#no one would challenge you because you're always right. and it's like.. yeah. i guess. okay. (hate that i know she's not wrong)#lol can u tell this is why house is kind of getting to me. learning lots of things about myself watching that man commit medical malpractic#anyway. i didn't ghost my therapist this time i remember now. she left the clinic lol she asked me to connect on linkedin. that was amusing#i always feel like the therapists here never know what to do with me and i kind of have to hold their hand a bit through my psyche#also they seem to be a bit at awe of me which is a bit annoying. and i know that definitely sounds like Issues but it's just like#ugh not you too. please stop i'm sick of it i'm sick with it. i don't want you to be inspired by my awful life and how i handled it#and i have nothing to say for it but... *gestures vaguely* of all of this
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(They think the other is a idiot)
#asktotag#sonic exe#xhouse#((No idea how to explain we have like way too many interpretations and spoofs of the guy))#((Like I could ramble about the ''Master File & Distributions'' or ''Spoof'' variants but honestly talk so much I end up saying nonsense?))#((Main reason why my art seems to have no context is because I literally voice chat and ramble for 4-6 hours))#((Essentially about the newest hyperfixated multiverse we've created-))#((-for our far to energetic ideas for us to narrow down & ''choose'' one because there's no singular correct interpretation of art))#((There's far too many variables to consider one universe as the most canon so obviously we have to branch from every possible angle-))#((-and end up with at least 30 of the same character but in different flavours))#((NOT ACCOUNTING FOR THE FACT THAT IT'S ADDICTING TO MAKE SPOOFS FROM JUST ONE INTERACTION TO SEE WHERE THEY GO))#((Like. There's so much potential in the morality and development of a character based off of one or more events-))#((-that derail from their original situations! ENVIRONMENTS & SITUATIONS SHAPE SO MUCH FOR A PERSON & I HAVE TO SEE EVERY POSSIBLE ANGLE.))#((Sorry for the rant/ramble here-))#((-I never usually have the confidence to express how much I love making things.))#((I tend to bury my thoughts and say so little cause I usually think no one would be interested or would think I'm annoying for it))#((Sometimes you hear voices say the most stupid take & feel so enraged by its obsurdity that you temporarily lose your social anxiety))#((It'll probably return eventually because the moment I post this I can guarantee it will cause it's happened before. I am not immune.))#((Unrelated but I like having a variety of papers to draw on again. I can't share much yet due to conceptuals but Soon!!))
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genuinely baffling to me how much of a victim complex some skk shippers have
YEAH yeah aouhghh-
like,, its one thing if people were actively harassing/bothering them but there is no reason for Those Types of skk-ers to be So Upset about other ships just existing (and to just,,doing the same things that they do in terms of relating/redrawing other ships moments to theirs)
I mean come on,, just look the other way,, no need to cry cuz someone chose to make Dazai to kiss different colored pile of pixels today
#the hypocrisy again just really gets me like- WHY ARE U SO upset abt other shippers relating their ship to ur ship's quotes/scenes#when you guys MANY TIMES have done those exact things yourself :'') like yeah im sure it's annoying for both sides but glass houses y know#idk I just ?? it's just wild to me.#they dominate the fandom in such a WILD way I've never seen for how much content they have in proportion to other ships KFJHKF#and it would be fine if they were like... just normal about it but why do so many treat it like it's an entire fucking war KFHFK#u don't need to comment 'I don't ship this cuz I ship x but its cute too ig' on every post u see wth a non x ship just IGNORE IT#u don't see any other ship doing that with their ship regularly like they do (at all personally but don't wonna say it never has happened)#and before anyone gets upset and is like 'oh kite but aren't u actively doing that rn?'#no cuz i only complain abt them when they're actively harassing/bothering other shippers for NO REASON </3 if I was doing the same thing I-#-would want people to call me out too but im not cuz idc who u ship characters with if i don't like it'll ill just block/mute and move on -#cuz im a big fucking kid with grown up feelings and adult levels of empathy and know how to Not invade their spaces just cuz I ship someth
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bros...i'm applying for anime expo artist alley
#just to see what happens tbh. i don't expect anything from this one since it's 100% juried now#and also. its anime expo they're humongous#i feel like im playin roulette doing all these applications. 'THIS time it'll hit red' <-man known for betting on red and only getting blac#but then again. 9 out of 10 gamblers quit right before they hit it big so i might as well keep betting on red#txt
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what will i do once my cat dies?
#we already lost one cat. they aren't dead. they just.. left one day.#i kinda miss him#he was my mom's bestest friend#its weird though. when we couldn't find him i wasn't panicked or depressed...#i felt numb. like i couldn't feel anything for him or how he got lost#even now i kinda. care less than i want to#but we have another cat. the one that has been with us all this time#what will happen to me once she dies?#once i see her body lying down with no movement?#will she leave before that happens? because i kind of hope so#seeing her die might just break my heart in two#i'd rather suddenly never see her again than say goodbye to her knowing she's gone#...maybe it'll happen soon#we haven't brought her to the vet...#my mom said she was gonna take her to the vet one day#or more like. the vet would come here (to our house) and check her#she's not ill or anything#well. i hope she isn't#sorry i watched a vid of someone telling a story of how their cat died#and got a bit anxious#i'm just scared that i won't care once my cat dies#cw animal death#cw death mention
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it’s been a hellish last couple months dealing with being caught in the crossfire between incompetent rental car agency that is mad at me and incompetent car insurance company that didn’t tell me the person handling my claim fucking QUIT and MY CLAIM WENT FORGOTTEN FOR MONTHS and it still isn’t resolved in fact things have gotten worse and tbh, when i have major stressful setbacks in life, my body and brains’ response is to just. not. do anything. just shut down. intense fatigue, inability to focus on literally anything because the background level of stress is so high.
#bro im gonna cry#fucking got blacklisted from one of the largest rental car companies in this country and it is apparently#impossible to get off the 'do not rent' list#whats making me more upset is that i literally called them the day the windshield cracked i got things sorted out before i even dropped the#car off and still shit is so far out of my control and now i'm stuck with all these repercussions that shouldn't have happened if my#insurance that i pay a hell of a lot of money for wasn't so incompetent#bro apparently even my ROOMMATES can get blacklisted for sharing an address with me#worse yet payment has been sent out but the company is still going 'fuck you pay me killyourself never talk to us again once u pay this'#i can't get ahold of the DRU person in charge of my claim on their end to find out what happens#so it might end up going to collections anyway which will perma fuck up my credit score which i've been trying. so hard. to raise.#being an adult is a fucking nightmare i want to sleep i can't focus for longer than 5 minutes on anything before i start getting that dread#its so frustrating i can't enjoy my hobbies i can't enjoy my work (which is going well right now) bc i'm so stuck on this i need this to go#away so i can regain my brain's normal functioning and yes i have anxiety this is the worst it's been in a while though#anyway sry for the venting i'll be fine it'll be fine my insurance WILL pay for this and things will be fine (probably) once that goes thru#not that it didn't add to my stress enough that my bp probably took another year off my life lbr#personal stuff#delete later i think#DO NOT rent a car without taking the damage waiver it doesn't matter how much it costs or if you have insurance just take the damage waiver#don't be me
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I look a lot like Al and my boyfriend looks a lot like you/smunker... If his shy awkward geeky self (affectionate) found me there's gotta be a sweet big boy out there for you too <3
thank yu anon but im a guy who never learned how to talk to people irl OR online (<- which is my only shot considering the transness the furryness the online guyness) so if he's out there my ass is not finding em
#is what i would say if that was something on my mind atm#i think the luck of having someone w mutual interest fall into my lap is something that could really only happen once#i dont know enough ppl to eventually find someone and id hate to make friends solely with bf as a goal ykwim#i also didn't even think it was possible for me to have a real crush on someone before recently#which makes things a little harder in general...wah...#sucks bc i was born to be someone's boyfriend! i know that neow#and im a good one to make up for how boring insane and high maintenance i am i think#skunk mail#anonymous#it all hurts too much though idk how people do it more than once...maybe its a good thing it'll never happen again#but i need it...i need it...#okay that was a lot of info sorry#good ask
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Oh yeah also to be exact for stream purposes, average playtime from all 60 reviews is 10-12 hours, but total range is 8-15, double for a 100% playthrough. You do have to progress in the side content to progress in the main story (complete x missions/get x points/get to x rank type of deal), and you'll probably want to progress in the side content to level up since it's money-based and that's the fastest way to make money. I'm pretty sure the variance comes from getting sucked into the side content (probably not likely for your playstyle) or having trouble with the bosses at a lower level (they're apparently pretty hard this time).
It also looks like the Infinite Wealth demo is split into two (an adventure mode with the extra cutscenes and another one that's basically the demo we've seen around). Adventure mode Allegedly doesn't have proper saves at the time of writing (this was an annoyance for one reviewer so I assume it's long enough to warrant that), so it's worth taking that into account too. Anyway that's about it lol don't quote me on any of this because my brain just shut off after a certain point <3
OK BET TYSM CHAMP YOURE A LIFESAVER soooooo doing Quick Maths in my brain i might divide the stream up in two if i start playing at 4:30PM and i plan to marathon it.
ill take a break 3:45 - 5:45 saturday morning since that's a part of my regular routine and ill feel weird if i dip on it. I Dont Need Sleep but god forbid i skip out on all That apparently. plus it's a good break period to get exercise in and move around LMAO
going from 4:30PM -> 3:45AM's like.....10~11 hours... so that's about halfway through the game if i get entranced by side content... if we do somehow finish it all in one shot then we can just do the IW stuff after my routine.. epic.. it prob wont be any longer than an hour if that so stream- AUSPICIOUSLY THINKING- should wrap up around 7~9AM saturday.
#snap chats#and then when its all done ill take the longest nap of my life afterwards LMAOOOOO#jk. ill prob sleep for like. a minute. imagine if i did art stream later LMAOOO NONONO maybe sunday.. if im really ill bout it..#some are wondering Snap Are You Physically Capable Of Doing Thaat and to that i say Yes. Yes I Am.#i didnt grind out buzzsaw mill raids on gaiaonline over night for nothing.. im a Gamer in my soul... a bad one but a gamer nonetheless..#i did it for ishin i can def do it for gaiden- esp if theres an audience and i have people to chat with#also the Break Time will be a great cut off point for recording so people who can't/don't want to show up for the stream can watch it#see it's all going according to plan..... it's all going swimmingly.....#i like how generous im being with my gaiden time. girl we know im gonna suck and take longer LMAOOO WE AINT DOIN IT IN 8 HOURS#maybe ill 100% gaiden off stream or somn if the side stuff really ropes me in#also im late as balls answering this OOPS my friends came by the dining hall and we all chatted. and apparently im going to aldis tomorrow#DONT KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENED but i needed something from the store#just one thing thats it.... i thought of buying snacks and the sort for gaiden but i aint gon subject people t me eating on stream#ill just go with my wack meal prep idea from before LMAO#anyway SIXTY REVIEWS THATS HEINOUS godspeed brother... thank you for your hard word ill do my best to make your work not go in vain#idk HOW but. i'll try not to be lame and low energy during stream I GUESS THATS ALL I CAN DO#boo about Money Aspect returning BUT ILL BE OPTIMISTIC. i wont let that sour me until i see it#i wonder how long the IW demo will be- what it'll HAVE if people are upset about the lack of saves#again i dont think it'll be terrible long- an hour is my min so id be surprised if it reaches two hours#it'd be epic if i could do all of gaiden before my routine since then i can cleanly divide the stream but we'll see
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🥭🎴🎸♟️🤺
#on the off chance that you see this because i know i gave you my url before we broke up#and i know you don't use this site but maybe if you end up curious#i hope you know i still love you and i always will and i havent been able to have anything with the same flavours as i used to drink#when i was over there and there are so many things I'll never do again. i used to do things in threes because i thought#if i didnt then youd leave me but it didnt really help anything and once the worst happened i lost any of the fear associated with it#so there was nothing to spiral about.#ive picked more things up like how i cant touch peeble - the jellycat you gave me- without washing my hands enough that i know theyre clean#and i sleep next to him every night and talk to him like hes a person. and i used to have to type out everything to you longhand without#using autocorrect or typing suggestions because i felt like that created a sense of lack of effort. i undetstand a lot now how ocd fucked u#my relationship with you and my sense of love at all. i think I'd still do anything to have you back and ill find something to do to pass#the time but I'll just be waiting for you to come back and trying in the meantime to collect as much as i can do so i can never be unsure o#feel too inexperienced to settle down. ill feel happy and sure if you come back. ill wait#but if you find someone else do you think youll tell me? do you think its possible there's someone out there youll love more than me#it'll hurt me to have to settle for 2nd place#text
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It's wild that I still miss someone I haven't talked to in years 🙃
#mostly the friendship rather that what happened before we stopped talking#it's simultaneously missing that relationship while knowing nothing will ever compare to it and i wont ever have that exact thing again#its upsetting and i've accepted it but it still hurts#and i dont think it'll ever stop hurting#anyway yeah i miss her rn#god knows why
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