#its gonna be really fun getting a whole new block list from these dipshits.

[autumnalhalcyon]

Had Harris not done genocide, she wouldn't have lost. She chose to hand the country to Trump. The truth hurts. It was so very very easy, and yet she chose to fuck you over. She called to congratulate him on his win. If you wanna be mad at somebody, be mad at the person that chose to lose to a felon, because she clearly doesn't care about you.

gargle my cock and balls, traitor.

im gonna be mad at the whiny pissants who chose to let the felon win instead of backing us up like yall did in 2020. yall are the fucking misanthropes that don't care about us, not harris. fucking DARVO me harder, why dontcha.

you'll realize how badly yall fucked up soon enough anyway. i hear there's some new gazan real estate coming soon, courtesy of the fascist you enabled the return of. maybe you enlightened, morally pure paragons of unsullied virtue can move there, once he makes it illegal for minorities to exist here. /s

[idek618]

First Meeting

Pit Viper follows the would-be robber from a distance as he runs into an abandoned warehouse down the street. He slinks in quietly, preparing for the confrontation. A strangled vocalization can be heard from a few rooms in, and the hero pushes onward and peeks inside. Well. He expected a number of things, but this is just awkward. The robber has removed his mask and sits in the corner, curled up and sobbing. The pistol lies far out of his reach; judging by the disturbed dust, it was thrown. His head is tucked down, oblivious to the intruder. Viper isn’t quite sure what to make of it. “Uh…are you okay?” The words come out unbidden. The perp’s head snaps up, but he makes no move to fight, only shrinking back with wide, terrified eyes. He doesn’t even look at the pistol, gaze locked firmly on the hero. Only the creak of rotted wood disturbs the tense silence. “You know you’ve got a gun, right?” Viper says with a quizzical head tilt. The man lowers his head again, stifling a whimper. “Just take it.” Viper pauses. Moving slowly, eyes on the other man, he takes the gun. He notes how light it is and checks the chamber. Empty. This guy just got interesting. “What’s your name?” The man looks confused, but has managed to compose himself. “.....Danh.” Viper nods. “Cool, cool. Obviously I can’t tell you mine, sorry. So, Danh….how’d you get in this shit?” That earns him a hint of a glare. “Why would you care? Just arrest me already, or kick my ass, or….just do it. I’m done.” Viper leans on the empty door frame. “Well, you see darling, off the top of my head I can think of three reasons,” he starts counting off on his fingers. “One: I’ve been paying attention. You were never gonna hurt anyone. The gun was empty the whole time. That bumps you off the priority list pretty nice.” Danh starts, barely noticeable. “How did you-” “Easy. You tried to punch me like a moron instead of shooting. When I came at you, you completely forgot it. Before that, you looked like the damn thing was melting your hands. Mostly, I literally just checked for bullets.” “...Oh.” Viper visibly preens for a moment. “Yeah, I’m good, right? Anyway, two: I’m a hero. The job’s about helping people, not just beating up the bad guys. Three,” he gestures to his colorful outfit with its massive V split, proudly displaying a snake tattoo sprawling all along his torso and down to his partially-exposed boxers. “Do I look like a fucking cop to you?” Danh gives him a once-over and looks away, with a newly red-touched face and a tiny chuckle despite himself. “No.” “Great! So what’s up?” The answer isn’t immediate. Several minutes go by, and Viper occupies himself with watching the spiders on the ceiling while he waits. Danh takes a deep breath. “I needed rent money. Lost my job. Parents can’t help either. My fucking brother crashed the car and their insurance fell through. I couldn’t tell them, they’d bankrupt themselves….It was a one-time thing, I swear. Get in, get the money, buy time to find work, nobody gets hurt.” He sighs, long and deep. “I really fucked up, huh?” Pit Viper thinks, and thinks, and ponders a bit for good measure before speaking. “Yep. You fucked it up bad. But I have an idea, so hear me out.” Danh nods, hesitant and questioning. Viper whoops victoriously and grins. “Okay: I can get you put up somewhere, at least for a while. There’s a motel down on 11th, and I know the guy who runs it. Just don’t be a dick and I should be able to talk him into letting you stay. Pretty sure you won’t get free food, but it’s a roof and a bed while you look for a new gig. I can ask around for you too, if you want.” Danh scoffs. “You sure about that? You think he’ll take in some random freeloader just because you asked?" “Are you kidding?” Viper spins and strikes a goofy pose. “This flawless ass is half his business. Besides, he owes me a favor. Lots of people do. Whaddaya say?” He offers a hand, smiling wide. Danh watches him apprehensively. This is a horrible idea. Why would a hero offer so much to him not three blocks from his crime scene? What kind of idiot would buy bullshit like that? This clown’s just going to turn him in and forget the whole thing. No way! But then again...there’s something about him. His dazzling smile. The sincerity in his eyes. His sheer confidence in his brilliant plan. He’s beautiful….No! Focus! Danh steels himself, and takes the offered hand to pull himself up. “Guess I don’t have anything to lose.” Pit Viper beams and claps him on the shoulder. “That’s the spirit! We’re gonna take on the fucking world!” His energy is infectious, and Danh can’t help smiling too. Whatever happens now, it’ll at least be interesting. Danh’s thoughts are interrupted once more by a scrap of paper being shoved into his hand. He unfolds it and….a phone number? Is this guy even real? Viper smirks and rolls his eyes at the other’s incredulous look. “That’s not my real number; I have two phones. But call me sometime, kay? If you wanna catch up, chat up, hook up…” He gamely ignores Danh’s frantic sputtering. ”Just call whenever you want. You seem fun, and I’m itching to know more.” “Why? Why would you do all this for me?” The taller man replies with a wink. “Because heroism is about kindness, dipshit.” “DIPSHIT? You fluffed up, boneless asshole-” Yep. Interesting.