#its goin to be a bloody 25th

[thatoner3ader]

I think it's very interesting how Till takes up more space on the stage (corporally), going so far as to enter Luka's personal space with his arm, and keeping his gaze fixed on the audience, the anger/disgust on his face. While, on the other hand, Luka looks more withdrawn and even relaxed with that cynical smile of his, hiding himself in such a way that we can't even see his eyes. He's not even facing Till or the audience.

I think that's a pretty important point here: the eyes. They are the soul windows, the thing that fully reveals our true feelings. In the last round, Till's gaze was lost and empty, a reflection of his grieving self who planned to lose the round. Likewise, Ivan had the same resignation but also determination: he would not let Till die.

So when these ideals finally intersect...

Till chooses to close his eyes. He denies his truth to himself (following the unrealized love theory) and to Ivan. At no time does Ivan close his eyes, except when they are kissing.

My point here? Till will win and if he don't I'll kill myself (I slept two hours... I'll explain myself better at some point)

[crystalinn]

I haven’t posted about this here yet, but boy howdy has my life been A Mess™️ of late.

TW: medical talk, high stress situations, mentions of blood under the cut

This is a very long post, so a mild TL;DR: ma’s sick and this is me for eternity now (loud noises in video): 

Picture it. November 10th (ish. Time is hard.). The motherbeast came down with a case of viral bronchitis. She got a few days off work to recover. 

A couple days pass. She went back to work. Her manager sent her in the cooler for two hours. 

An immediate downturn ft. a fall out of bed that took 45 minutes to fix, heavy panting, confusion, the whole lot. She went to the Express ER. They said “oh hey, your viral bronchitis has become full blown pneumonia. You’re goin’ to the Real Hospital™️ for two days. See if you respond well.” Turns out, she did, at first. 

About a week or two of what seemed like solid improvement all came crashing back down when her return to work arrived. She went back to work... or tried to. She went to step onto the curb and gravity said no. She faceplanted the pavement, and the ambulance was called. A thorough concussion check later, and her manager drove her and her truck home. The next day, she went back to the Express ER, and they said “oh shit, your lung xray is worse than last time. Back to the Hospital for you.” 

That stay was nine days long. She was tested for tuberculosis (which came back negative, thankfully), and had a PICC line installed. During said stay, she did get rather confused and agitated, as it was near the end of the month and the rent needed paid. She called me in the middle of the night, asking me to move her IV... despite me being at home. So that was a thing.

After she came home on the 4th of this month (December), I had to start administering her PICC line antibiotics, every 8 hours. Did y’all know that cefepime (a bigboi antibiotic) smells like someone doing unholy things to eggs? Sulfuric smelling bullshit, that. Had some hiccups there, what with massive air bubbles in the line and getting the infusion orb stuck on the line. We were supposed to be done the 25th. Then she went to her new primary care doctor, and it was extended to the 6th of January, which h.

Anyway, fast forward to the 23rd. Mum was out with a pal, getting some groceries, and some Miralax ‘cause... y’know, and she fell on her ass. At this point, falling down is like a glowing neon red flag. She came home, was a bit wobbly, but was generally okay. Her primary care doctor called after the home health nurses stole some blood to tell her that her potassium levels are critical. A friend/my ‘adopted’ brotherbeast, Frank, brought her a fuckton of bananas that night. 

Now this is where it gets real fuckin’ spicy. The morning of the 24th, after we get done with the 7am orb, I gave her a dose of Miralax. She was fine, until the 3pm orb, when severe gut cramps showed up. Those lasted until about midnight when things... moved along. After that, shit went downhill fast. I put her to bed after orb times at 11 pm, and she kept waking up. As time went on, she got more and more confused. Like, she knew general things, in a kinda slow way, but she could not follow directions. On the morning of the 25th (fucking Christmas.), things had reached its boiling point. She was very confused, unable to focus, slurring words. I rang up a friend, Sandy (who has been a massive help this whole time of Fuckery), to get her to the ER. This triggered a complete meltdown. It took both of us to get her out of her chair, not to mention the sudden burst of confused crying and begging not to go. 

We finally managed to get her there, and the ER’s like “yo this looks like a stroke, so we’re gonna keep her, do an MRI or three, and get back to you.” Turns out she was very dehydrated, currently has a UTI, and is still a bit... shall we say, fucked up. But, the MRI came out clean, but there was some issue with the PICC with like, a blood clot, but they cleaned it out, so they let her go on the 26th. 

But just wait for it... I put her to bed pretty much as soon as she got home, ‘cause she doesn’t sleep in the hospital. Makes sense, right? I went to check on her at about 8, and she was unable to really comply with requests/commands/questions. I’d ask “what’s your name?”, I’d get her name (most of the time), but when I’d ask “when’s your birthday?”, I’d get her name again. Or the fact she lost her PICC line cap, and I’d ask her to hold the newly sterilized port so it wouldn’t touch anything, she’d say okay, take it, and immediately drop it. Repeatedly. 

I broke down whilst on the phone with my dad because everything has been too much of late, and eventually put her back to bed to wait for the 11pm orb. 

11pm rolled around... and well. I couldn’t get her to wake up. She’d react to me poking and prodding her by making noise and moving away, but she would not wake up. Not properly. So, I called the on call home health nurse to see if she could help, and she pretty much told me to just call an ambulance. Not wanting the expense because I live in Hell the US, I called my dad. He helped me try to wake her up over the phone, but she flat refused. I was left with no choice. So, I called the ambulance, and just before they knocked on the door, she sat up like “huh?” but extra confused. She almost didn’t go to the hospital because she said “nah, I don’t want to go” but one of the EMTs was like “nah, you gotta go.”

So, she spent about 8 hours in the ER, and they told me that they can’t keep her since she was mostly lucid, but they did float an Idea (a skilled nursing facility, at least until she got her ducks in a row) to her that was immediately denied, but with some prodding from me, she finally agreed. So they moved her upstairs from the ER to keep her until they can find a facility in the Blue Cross/Blue Shield network that’s reasonably local. The one that came to visit yesterday turned out to not be, and I’m pretty sure the dude kicked it back to the Case Supervisor to see if they can find another. But, after they moved her into her room, she’s cleared up quite a bit. 

She’s still a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, a bit unfocused, and can get caught out in the grapes mentally, but she has improved a lot. 

Oh, and another thing she’s been doing is fighting me re: eating since the first go around. Bread’s a texture issue, rice is hard to eat without teeth, and everything else “smells bad” (which, since she’s quit smoking as of that second hospital stay... I understand, but you gotta sometimes push past that.) I did manage bananas though. Thank fuck for those. 

But, back to the plot: today (the 28th) was a decent day. Much clearer, less starts and stops in her speech. A bit more focused. She didn’t manage to sleep last night, so she was kinda tired. Had another MRI, but we won’t know about that until probably tomorrow (the 29th). Maybe. Had some PICC issues, though. The nurse got the cefepime running just fine, then mum had to use the bathroom, and when she came out, the machine started screaming bloody murder. After that, the nurse came back and tried to flush the line, since the cefepime was unable to run, and when she took the syringe off, the saline shot right back out... which ain’t supposed to happen. Hit me, the nurse, mum, the bed... probably got the windows too. So they’re working on that, and hopefully they figure it out.

Had my own woes at the hospital today, too. The sole of my boot fell off, so my ride/friend/adopted sister?, Sandy, went to walmart and got me some Heavy Duty Superglue, which I got it about half way stuck before we had to leave... then when we were pulling into the parking lot at home, the nurse in charge called to ask some questions about the PICC, the antibiotic, how long it’d been there, how long she was supposed to be on it, the pharmacy’s number, all that. So I went to get out of the car, my coke bottle fell out of my pocket, started rolling under the car, and I overextended. Fell right on my knees. They are not happy. Took a hot minute to get my dumb ass off the ground, without hurting Sandy, who is like 5′2″ and v smol. I am 5′6″ and... decidedly not. Plus the bonus rain.

UPDATE 12/29/2019: the diverticulitis has made a reappearance. It’s like everything is just It’s free real estate.

UPDATE 12/31/2019: Around 2 am this morning, she managed to roll out of bed and whack her head pretty good on something. They did a CT scan, and it came out clean. No concussion. However, now she has a sitter/keeper/minder to make sure she doesn’t do it again. It’s a good thing the nurses heard her fall, ‘cause despite being armed, the bed alarm didn’t go off. I know of all of this, ‘cause the hospital called me at 3 this morning, and boy howdy that’s a gut drop, let me tell you. But, better a CT ride and a bump on her noggin vs. the alternative. Sure is one thing after a-fucking-nother, ain’t it though.

UPDATE 1/1/2020: 2019 keep your problems challenge: she's had a major mental shift again, and now she's really groggy, really confused... So the hospital moved her to the ICU and called me for consent on a spinal tap, just to make sure they're not missing anything. Other than that, they've done x-rays and another CT, I think to check her spine, hips, the one leg she's been having issues with. The doctors also think that it may be the cefepime causing this altered mental state, and after doing some digging, boy howdy I sure believe it. Cephalosporins are some nasty fuckers.

So! That’s been my month and a half! I’d like to take a break now, please!

EDIT: Further updates found here.

[rob-blog1234]

WEEKEND TV HOT FILM PICKS!

Check out my guide to the top films on TV this weekend, the best of the rest and what to avoid at all costs. Enjoy!

LATE FRIDAY 23rd FEBRUARY

HOT PICK!

Syfy @ 2310     Twelve Monkeys (1995) *****

I present to you Terry Gilliam’s greatest achievement with this extremely detailed, rich and complex story introducing some of the most memorable characters in film. Twelve Monkeys is an extremely accomplished Time Travel Sci-Fi adventure dealing with multiple themes and concepts through some amazing storytelling. Even with its multiple time lines, flashbacks and crazy plot Gilliam feeds the story to us with amazing skill also treating us to some amazing cinematography and backdrops of a dark and bleak future world.

Gilliam is notorious for his almost stubborn attention to tiny details. Each scene is busy with cogs and mechanisms and such richness it’s sometimes hard to take it all in, but this all adds to the overall effect and feel of the film.

A huge amount of this film’s success lies in the amazing performances from all the cast. Particular praise goes to Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt who bring to the screen quite possibly their greatest performances to date.

The film is set in the future where a virus has wiped out the majority of human life and the survivors live underground where they are safe. Attempting to find a cure the head scientists send James Cole (Willis) back to the year 1996 to gather information. When he is sent to 1990 by mistake and after a fight he finds himself in a mental institution where he meets the wild eyed and crazed Jeffrey Goines (Pitt). It really is a roller coaster of events from here.

The joy of this film is that it never ages, it always seems a fresh, new and clever concept that always rewards. Definitely up in my Top 5 Time Travel films. Twelve Monkeys is a masterpiece. I have high hopes for the new TV series based on this film. I hope it becomes a good companion piece and not a scar on the memory of this original success. Watch this!

Best of the rest:

TCM @ 1655      The Wrong Man (1956) ****

E4 @ 2100          X-Men: First Class (2011) ****

Film4 @ 2100     Alien (1979) *****

Sony @ 2100     The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2011) ****

Dave @ 2200     Kill Bill Vol 2 (2004) ****

Horror @ 2255  The Devil's Rejects (2005) ***

CBS @ 2300      Raw Deal (1986) ***

Film4 @ 2320    Danger: Diabolik (1968) ***

ITV3 @ 0005      Elizabeth: The Golden Age (2007) ****

Film4 @ 0125    The Duke of Burgundy (2014) ****

AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

5* @ 2305    Need for Speed (2014) * AVOID!

Officially my 96th favourite film released in 2014.

NOTE: I have seen 96 films released in 2014.

Car action trash - looking out of the window at the road for an hour will probably inspire more interest and fun... or sitting on a spike.

SATURDAY 24th FEBRUARY

HOT PICKS!

More4 @ 2100     The King's Speech (2010) *****

The King’s Speech is very deserving of its critical acclaim. Tom Hooper did a fantastic job directing but the main success of this film is down to Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush’s powerhouse performances. It has a wonderful vein of humour running throughout. Subtle humour with a lot of heart. This film is inspirational and also interesting to delve into Britain’s history as well as the challenges faced by those with a crippling speech impediment. If you need one feel good factor this weekend, stick this to the top of your list.

Film4 @ 2100      Aliens (1986) *****

This time it’s War! Aliens is one of the most successful sequels of all time.  It not only continued an amazing story with one of the most impressive extra-terrestrial beings ever seen on film but also completely changed the style. Ridley Scott’s original is an amazing accomplishment and stands tall as a fantastic Horror / Sci-Fi, with this sequel James Cameron injected a dangerous dose of action and adrenalin turning it into a high powered action adventure Sci-Fi that makes this film my personal favourite of the series of films. This is mainly down to the rich characters and great performances by everyone involved. The casting and character development creates high emotional attachment which adds to great effect as they one by one encounter the almost indestructible Xenomorphs with sometimes fatal consequences. Aliens is set 57 years after the original and Ripley has been in hyper sleep all this time. We follow a crack team of Marines with Ripley in tow as adviser as they go back to LV-426 after contact is lost by the Terra-forming colony there.  It has amazing special effects for its time and had to rely on physical effects as opposed to today’s CGI saturated Sci-Fi films. This is an amazing action spectacular that simply must be seen. It’s also well worth investing in the Alien Anthology on Blu ray, it’s great value for money, both the image and sound is crisp and clear and worthy of being in everyone’s collection.

C4 @ 2250     Dredd (2012) ****

In a dark and dysfunctional future crime is at an all-time high and policed by Judges - these are judge, jury and executioner - dealing out swift and brutal justice to those flouting the law. Karl Urban plays our downturned mouthed hero - Judge Dredd - a seemingly heartless, brutal and ruthless Judge but one of the very best in the business. This is a great adaption of the comic series and with a great sense of pace, amazing visuals - namely the slow motion ultra-violent sprays of blood - and booming soundtrack this is an action movie to remember. Need a dose of Action in your weekend? Make way for Judge Dredd.

Sony @ 2320     Sleepers (1996) ****

Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Kevin Bacon, Brad Pitt… Need I go on? Sleepers is an excellent crime drama following the story of four men who were friends as children when an unfortunate prank accidentally killed someone. They were sent to reform school where they were beaten and raped by the guards. Their paths cross once again as adults and they take the opportunity for revenge on the guards that brutalised them as children. This film is extremely well put together, very engaging with a great cast and a heart breaking story. I’ve always thought this film deserved more credit. Give it a try, you won’t be disappointed.

Best of the rest:

5* @ 1110           James and the Giant Peach (1996) ***

TCM @ 1125      The Wrong Man (1956) ****

True @ 1100      The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959) ****

Film4 @ 1100     Napoleon Dynamite (2004) ****

5Spike @ 1330  Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) ****

TCM @ 1825     The Manchurian Candidate (1962) ****

Horror @ 1840 The War of the Worlds (1953) ****

ITV2 @ 1905     The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014) ***

5* @ 2100         21 Jump Street (2012) ****

Comedy @ 2200 So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993) ***

5* @ 0135         The Town (2010) ****

AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

Sony @ 1630     After Earth (2013) * AVOID!

No. Just no. I'm not going to waste words on this garbage. Take heed from the films tag line... Danger is Real. Fear is a choice. AVOID!

SUNDAY 25th FEBRUARY

HOT PICKS!

Horror @ 2255     They Live (1988) ****

I love a bit of John Carpenter in my film diet. Especially 1988 cult classic They Live. Rowdy Roddy Piper is Nada - an out of work construction worker who hits the city in search of work. He comes across a pair of sunglasses which reveal the world as it REALLY is - the people controlled by the rich, a mass media saturated world where people are driven into consumerism fuelled pacification. Government messages are revealed in stark, bold black and white text on billboards, TV and newspapers - showing the messages of “OBEY” and “CONFORM”. Even more sinister is the revelation that the upper echelons of society are populated by an evil exploitative alien race. The constant Carpenter score is our companion throughout almost all of the film which works wonderfully. Funny in parts, action and fights galore - this is a great Cult Classic Carpenter.

C4 @ 2305     Shutter Island (2012) ****

Shutter Island is a creepy, visually rich psychological thriller with a dark and morbid feel throughout. We follow DiCaprio as troubled U.S. Marshal Teddy Daniels - investigating the disappearance of a patient from the islands asylum for the criminally insane. DiCaprio is superb and I can see why Scorsese persists on casting him. Ben Kingsley also stands out as the head of the asylum - the dialogue between the two characters is excellent. We are taken through the almost gothic maze of the island and asylum - its darkness is overwhelming and penetrating, this - combined with the beauty of Scorsese’s direction we are treated to a darkly beautiful ride. There are, as you would expect, a number of twists along the way some more obvious than others but to me that isn’t really the point - It’s the journey through the film and the troubling images that plague our lead that make Shutter Island a must watch film. It inspires a second viewing. The score magnifies the darkness and is superbly put together to make even the seemingly normal of scenes far more tense and suspicious. Shutter Island was eagerly awaited for in 2010 and I was very glad when it finally arrived.

Best of the rest:

C5 @ 1705         Where Eagles Dare (1968) ****

E4 @ 1900         Men in Black 3 (2012) ***

Syfy @ 2100      Pitch Black (2000) ****

Film4 @ 2100    Alien3 (1992) ***

BBC1 @ 2315    Point Break (1991) ****

TCM @ 2340     The Deer Hunter (1978) *****

Sony @ 0110    The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) ****

AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

Film4 @ 2315     Salt (2010) * AVOID!

If Angelina puts a different colour wig on - she still looks like Angelina Jolie. In fact when she put on a disguise I didn’t even notice it happen, but everyone else seemed to think she was bloody invisible. The most unconvincing CIA agent I’ve seen. Who is Salt? Who cares.. Oh hold on.. It’s Angelina Jolie… in a wig. Jolie off. AVOID!