#its even better knowing that the tough guy shit is all an act

[theinfinitytomybeyond]

I always loved this part

I don't care

You can't stop me

[sturnsdarling]

You're much better company, tough girl

fratboy!matt has met his match with smartand'mean'!reader, and he can't get enough of her

vibe check: SMUT, mattthemunch, unprotected cuddle time (I'd tell you to wrap it but i'm not your mother) bigdick!matt, choking, spitting, praise, reader strumming the bean, pet names (angel, tough girl), all that good stuff.

4k words

A/N: This concept was born from and is my take on the wonderful, amazing and ridiculously talented @sturnioz fratboy!matt au, and its also my first fic so, be kind.

love and cigs, merc

The autumn air was cold, and the fishnets on your legs weren’t doing you any favours. you’d snuck out the party to escape the weirdo guy that was basically stalking you since you had arrived. You'd hoped to find your friend, but she was somewhere tangled up with one of the resident frat boys, her shy demeanour acting like catnip to the renowned player Chris Sturniolo. You found yourself outside the front of the house, genuinely considering leaving, but knowing your friend would need company once Chris inevitably got bored of her. From around the corner, you heard  a lighter flick and the deep inhale that normally follows, turning and walking down to the side of the house, you saw a shadowy figure being periodically illuminated by the butt of his cigarette. 

"What're you doin’ out here?" you questioned, walking over to Matt who was leant against the side of the house, trying to escape the "new age, shit rap music" Chris put on.

Matt held up the cig in his fingers and gave you a short smile, before placing the cigarette between his lips and taking a long drag, his jawline becoming even more prominent as his cheeks hollowed slightly. 

"Thought you didn't smoke?" you said, arms folded over your chest as the cold air bit at your nearly bare legs. 

"I don't smoke weed, but, I do love my cigs" He held the open box out to you and you pulled one out, placing it between your lips gently. He brandished his silver lighter in front of your face and lit the cigarette, absentmindedly staring at the way the flame illuminated your features. 

"Chris is the stoner, kid fuckin' loves it" He said as he flicked the lighter closed and placed it back in his pocket. 

"Cigarettes still contain drugs, y'know that right?" You smirked, taking a drag and letting the smoke come out with every word. 

"Yes, smart-ass I know that" He quipped back, "everyone needs a vice, you know?" 

You giggled slightly as his philosophy, "a vice? you need something to help you escape the plaguing reality of being a frat bro?”, smiling as you placed the cig between your teeth and took another drag.

“Ugh, don't call me that" he responded, spitting the foul taste out of his mouth onto the floor, "besides..." He paused to take a drag, "If I was a frat bro, which I'm not, I could have a plaguing sense of reality, frat boys have feelings too you know, kid" he smiled, his perfect teeth almost reflecting the light from the street lamps. 

“oh, do tell, what plagues the infamous Matthew Sturniolo" you grinned at him, rolling your eyes in faux sympathy.

"Infamous? ouch.” He held his hand to his chest, pretending to be offended. 

Pausing for a moment, he looked at you and then to the floor, shuffling where he leant slightly and shrugging his shoulders, "I dunno, l've always got somthin' going on up there" He gestured to his temple with the cig in his fingers.

“But, 'nough about me, what're you doin' out here?" he asked, desperately trying to change the topic from himself, pointing his cigarette at you in an accusatory

"Came lookin’ for you" you said, blowing the smoke from your pursed lips. 

His eyebrows raised at your confession, "Me?" He questioned. 

"mhm" You nodded, taking another drag. 

“Why?” his brows furrowed as smoke bellowed out his open mouth. 

“I didn’t actually, jus' thought you’d like the flattery” You chuckled, ashing your cigarette.

“wow, okay, how tough are you?” He smirked, standing up from his leant position and throwing his cigarette to the floor, just before stamping it out. 

“Me? tough? never.” You said sarcastically, placing your cigarette back in your mouth. 

Matt came forward slightly and pulled the tiny stick from your lips, placing it between his own and taking a drag whilst maintaining a firm stare. You watched him intently, your big eyes burning holes into his as he placed the cigarette back into your mouth. 

“You didn’t answer my question, kid” he said, his tone faltering as he blew the smoke from his mouth.

a long huff left your mouth as you rolled your eyes, “I needed to escape this guy, he was fuckin’ relentless and I was not into it”. 

Matt paused for a moment, still baring down into you, “yeah?” half of his teeth coming onto display as a smirk encapsulated his face, “what are you into?” he asked, tilting his head to the side slightly so he was even closer to you, his breath nearly touching the cold apples of your cheeks. 

As he was speaking you took a long drag, and in response to his clear attempt to rile you up, you blew the smoke into his face with pursed lips and a smile. Matt blinked slowly with raised brows at your bravery, letting the wind carry the smoke from his face. 

“What do you think i’m into, Matthew?” you asked, matching his earlier cadence. 

“I think, you act all tough, but really, you want someone to tell you to sit down, shut up, and to take it like the pretty, pretty girl you are” he said, so non-challant you’d think he was explaining that the sky is blue. 

Your breath hitched in your chest, and your eyes fluttered slightly, not quite fully closing. 

A cheshire cat smile formed on Matts face, he knew exactly what type of girl you were from the moment he laid eyes on you on the first day of the semester. 

“You think I’m pretty?” you asked in a condescending tone, pulling your confidence back, trying to ignore the growing sensation in your stomach. 

Matt simply nodded in response, tucking a messy strand of hair behind your ear and letting his fingers trail down past your neck and over your bare arms. At some point during your back and forth, Matt had edged his face impossibly close to yours, he hooked a finger under your chin and pulled your head up to face him, 

“I think you’re beautiful, tough girl” he whispered, almost into your mouth as it parted with his words. 

With that, you threw your cigarette to the floor and thrust your lips into his, the force pushing him backwards to into the wall he was leant on only moments ago. His hands found your waist, pulling you in tight against him as yours pulled and tugged at the loose brown curls on the back of his head. The kiss was feverish, animalistic and messy, you were positioned snug between his legs as one of his hands found its way to the covered flesh of your ass, he squeezed it with a low growl and slapped it quickly after, rubbing the sting away with a soft hand. The sensation caused you to whimper into his mouth, jolting against him as his hand smacked your ass. He chuckled into the kiss, his hands roaming all the way up your back and into your hair. He pulled you off him with a firm hand wrapped around the back of your neck.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you make noises like that” he dipped his head down, capturing your neck in his teeth and soothing the sting with a flat, warm tongue. 

“Matt” you whispered, your head hanging on your shoulders, resting in Matts large palm. “What’s up, angel?” he murmured from the curve where your neck and shoulders meet.

“I’m not—shit— I’m not gonna fuck you round the side of your house” You manage to get out, slightly distracted by the sensation of Matt nipping at sucking at your neck. 

“Let’s go inside then” You even mentioning fucking him was enough permission to take your hand and drag you inside. 

The music boomed against your skull as he pulled you through the party with your hand in his, both of you ignoring everyone that tried to spark up some kind of drunken conversation. He led you up the large staircase in the centre of the main room, his focus on your destination only faltering to glance at Chris who, had your best friend tucked under his arm on the sofa, the pair exchanged a knowing look and Chris shot Matt a wink, quickly returning his attentions to the shy girl perched next to him. As you and Matt reached the top of the staircase, he turned, pulling you into him for the second time that night for a desperate kiss. This time, he leant down, taking the backs of your thighs in his hands with a tap that you knew meant ‘jump’. You obliged and within moments, you were being thrust into his dimly lit bedroom. He kicked the door closed with his foot, never breaking the kiss, and walked the two of you over to his bed, placing you down somewhat gently onto the brown satin sheets. 

“You’re so pretty, y’know that?” he said breathlessly, breaking the kiss to tear off his red sweatshirt. 

“I think you mentioned it once or twice” You replied, desperately clawing at the back of his neck to pull him back into you, your legs loose around his waist. 

“Such a smart-ass” he groaned, his hand suddenly gripping your throat as he pushed you back down onto his sheets, squeezing the sides of your neck. 

You moaned at the sensation, brows furrowing as your hips involuntarily bucked upwards. Matt chucked at your responsiveness, his hand trailing down your chest to toy with the hem of your top. 

“Can I take this off?” He asked, softly. 

“mhm” you nodded, desperately. 

“Words, angel, I need words” he halted his movements, his voice stern. 

“Yes, Matt, take it off, please”  The pleading in your tone evident, despite your attempt to be moody. 

“Begging already? I knew I’d like you” with that he pulled your top over your head and left you exposed in your lacy black bra, your hard nipples perking through the sheer fabric. 

“Fuck” Matt uttered under his breath, his large hands roaming around your nearly bare torso. 

He couldn’t help himself, he leant down, pulling the thin fabric from your tit and wrapped his mouth around your hardened nipple, grinding down onto your core as he did, chasing the friction. Your head rolled back at the feeling, and as if on instinct, your hips rolled against his. Matt trailed his kisses down your stomach, each one igniting a hot fire all over your skin. He hooked his fingers round the hem of your skirt, still trailing hot, wet kisses down your heaving torso. He looked up at you, being met with your pleading eyes staring down at him.

“Can I?” he tugged slightly at your skirt. 

“yes, please” you nodded frantically, lifting your hips up to aid him in removing the fabric that separated his mouth from your aching cunt. 

“Such a fast learner, such a good girl” he smiled as he pulled your skirt down over your knees, leaving you in nothing but your bra, fishnets and thin black panties. 

“Jesus christ” he said as he perched on his knees by the edge of the bed, “these are staying on” he said, caressing your legs with firm hands. 

He edged his hands further down towards your core, spreading your thighs apart for him as he lowered himself down, hooking your legs over his shoulders. As his hands reached where you ached for him the most, he pressed firm fingers across your pussy, rubbing upwards and finishing his movement with a short circle of both of his thumbs over your throbbing clit. With one quick motion, he ripped a hole in your fishnets, exposing your dripping cunt to him as your wetness seeped through the thin fabric of your thong. His eyes might as well have sparkled at the sight, 

“Look at that, tough girl, you’re all wet over me taking charge” he said, taking a finger and swiping it up the wetness that had collected  at the entrance to your pussy. 

You whimpered, bucking your hips once again at the stimulation, whining slightly in attempts to coax him into touching you properly. 

“I need to taste you, angel, can I?” he asked, like a boy begging to stay up to see Santa on christmas morning. 

“Yes, Matt, please, fuckin' hurry up already” you whine, desperate and aching for any sense of relief from this agonising feeling. 

He didn’t need any more permission, with a low hum (more like a fucking growl), he pulled your soaked panties to the side with vigour and latched his mouth around your clit. Your back arched off the bed immediately, his tongue sending sweet euphoria up your spine as it toyed with your sensitive bud. The moan that escaped you was pornographic, and it only egged him on further. He slipped his tongue into your entrance, lapping at the juices that seeped from your hole as his thumb found your clit, moving in slow circles over the sensitive bud. He moaned into your pussy, as if he was getting off on eating you out, the vibrations from his groaning only adding to the knot growing in your stomach. Your hands found his hair, tugging at the messy brown curls that covered his beautiful face as he devoured you. 

“Fuck, Matt, that feels so fucking good” you cried out, tears pricking at your eyes as he moved once more to suck on your clit. 

His fingers swirled and prodded at your slick entrance, your walls nearly sucking him in as they clenched around nothing. He took your incessant moans as invitation to insert two long fingers all the way inside of you, curling up into that perfect gummy spot as he did. Your thighs clenched around his head, tensing and shaking as he brought you to the edge. He raised himself up slightly, pushing your legs apart with his forearms and pinning you down under his weight, his fingers relentlessly curling into you as he sucked and lapped at your clit, desperate to make you come undone all over his mouth. You tugged at his curls once more, earning a deep groan from him that vibrated around your clit and, that feeling, coupled with the warm pressure of his body weight on your thighs and his intense, animalistic eye contact, sent you over the edge. Your orgasm ripped through you, your whole body shaking as you moaned his name over and over again, bucking your hips up into his face as he continued his pace, mercilessly lapping at your sopping pussy. You started to tether on the edge of overstimulation just as he pulled his mouth from you, his fingers still pumping in and out of your dripping cunt. You stared down at him with fluttery eyes, your fingers caressing his scalp as he helped you ride out your orgasm with a tender smile and tiny bites down the inside of your thigh. 

He pulled his fingers from you and got to his feet, the bed shifted under his weight as he brought himself up to hover over you. 

He traced the outline of your plump lips with the tip of his finger, asking for invitation. You obliged and opened your mouth, exposing a flat tongue to him. 

“Taste how sweet you are, angel. fuckin’ delicious” He said, placing his fingers on your tongue before edging them down your throat, watching intently as you gagged around them. 

He chuckled slightly at your submissiveness, pulling his fingers from your throat and trailing them down your chin. He placed a firm palm on the front of your neck and pulled you into a kiss, his face still wet from your cum. You whimpered into the kiss, frantic hands moving down in between you in attempts to unbutton his jeans. He smiled into the kiss and squeezed the sides of your throat with his fingers, bucking his hips into your hands as they freed him of the confines of the thick denim. He assisted you in pushing his jeans down his legs, not once breaking the kiss as he expertly shuffled them off and kicked them across the room. He crawled back on top of you and pushed you further up the bed, with one hand on the back of your thigh and the other round your neck, he hooked your leg over his waist and began to grind down into your sensitive core, the fabric of his black boxers giving just the right amount of friction between you. 

“Matt, I need you inside of me, now.” you whine, the demand sending shivers up Matts spine as he locked eyes with you. 

“What’s the magic word, pretty girl” He smirked, you rolled your eyes in response and brought your other leg to hook around his waist, your feet locking him in. 

“Please, matt” you reluctantly (you loved it) begged. 

“So good for me, angel” he smiled as your hands snaked their way into his boxers, palming his hard cock. 

Your eyes widened slightly at the size and he noticed, a sense of pride washing over him, “Bigger than you thought it would be?” he smirked.

 A wave of nervousness overcame you but you pushed it down, biting your lip and tightening your grip on his throbbing member, “I always knew you’d be huge, the quiet ones always are” you said, pumping him slowly. 

He couldn’t help but rut into your hand, his head falling into the curve of your neck as he palmed your tit, pinching at your hard nipple whilst his other hand left bruises on your thigh. Small whispers left his mouth and fell onto your skin, his warm breath only turning you on even more. You pushed his boxers down completely and he kicked them off, looking down at where you were attempting to line him up with your weeping entrance. 

“So needy, huh? tough girl? lemme help you angel” He pressed his tip against your folds and aided you in guiding himself into your slick walls. 

The feeling of him stretching you out made your back arch off the bed, your hands flying to the sheets for some sort of leverage. He chuckled slightly, slowly thrusting his leaking tip in and out of you, letting you adjust to his size inch by inch as he trailed soft kisses down your jaw and neck, biting every so often only to sooth the sting with his warm tongue. 

The feeling was euphoric, he was somehow keeping you between feeling completely satisfied and overstimulated all at once. 

“fuck, angel” he drew out, “y'so fuckin’ tight and m'not even half way in— Jesus christ- y'gonna be the death of me” he grunted, capturing your open mouth in a wet and tender kiss, his tongue pressed against yours as he thrusted into you completely, bottoming out. 

You both moan at the feeling, your legs tensed around his waist and your arms found home draped over his shoulders, hands tangled in his hair. 

He pulled out of you almost entirely, still kissing you mercilessly before thrusting into you again, this time with a lot more force. You moaned into his mouth, tugging at his hair to counter the sting of your pussy, blissfully stretched out around him and aching for him to move faster. 

Matt broke the kiss, taking your jaw in his hand and squeezing your mouth open, he gathered a ball of spit in his mouth and lowered it towards yours. You caught it on your tongue and swallowed it with a smile as he watched in awe.

“You’re perfect” he uttered, leaning down to kiss your squished lips before releasing your jaw and earning another smile from you. 

With that, he set a relentless pace, fucking you into the bed with each hard thrust. You moaned out his name, pulling him in impossibly close to you with both your grip round his waist and your hands in his hair. His head fell next to yours, hot breath panting in your ear as he moaned and whimpered at the feeling of your slick walls clenching around him. 

“Fuck matt, you're so big, stretching me out s’much, oh my fucking god” you trail off, your words bouncing with every merciless thrust. 

“Take it angel, fuckin’ take it, I know you can” he panted into your ear, sucking on the lobe. 

He slowed his pace but fucked you harder, each thrust inciting a pornographic moan from your lips. 

“you sound s'good when you moan, so fuckin’ sexy” he groaned, pounding into you harder just to earn those beautiful whimpers from you. 

His tip formed a bulge in your lower stomach, poking out of you over and over again as he hit your g-spot, bringing you closer to the edge for the second time that night. You brought a hand up to his mouth, silently asking for permission to collect some spit from the pad of his tongue, he obliged, biting your fingers slightly before you pulled them from his mouth and placed them down between the two of you, rubbing fast circles over your clit. The stimulation made your walls clench around him, milking his painfully hard cock. 

“Fuck, oh my, fuck, keep doing that, pretty girl, keep touching yourself for me” his command comes out in a near whimper. 

“Matt, m'gonna— “ before you could even finish your sentence, your orgasm hit you like a freight train, your thighs shaking around his waist as white hot tingles covered your entire body, you clenched your eyes shut and all you could see was stars as you came all over his dick. 

“You’re clenching me so hard right now angel, y'gonna make me cum, look at me pretty girl, please, let me see those pretty eyes” Matt rambled as his high was rapidly approaching, his pace quickening as his movements became sloppy, 

“cum inside me, please matt, I need it” you cried out, still reeling in the after shock of your crippling orgasm. 

With your pleading, he realised strings of warm cum inside you, coating your walls as he fucked his seed into you, riding out his orgasm, shaking and trying desperately not to buckle completely on top of you. 

He thrusted in and out a few more times before reluctantly pulling out, the cold air hitting his softening cock as he fell down next to you, immediately bringing you into his side and pulling at your limbs so you were lazily draped over him. 

You laid there, panting in each others arms, both trying to catch your breath as the sound of the party suddenly became more prominent from the other side of his bedroom door. “You” he said, still catching his breath, “are incredible.” He turned his head to look down at you.

“You’re not too bad yourself, Matthew” you smiled, bringing your finger to trace along his pink bottom lip. 

He watched as you admired the plump skin for a moment and with a smile, he bit the tip of your finger. You giggled and pulled your hand from his mouth, resting it on his now steady chest. 

“Can I see you again?” he asked, captivated by the way your face lights up when you laugh. 

“If you actually start coming to classes, you’ll see me all the time” you taunted him.

“Oh, I’m gonna have the best fuckin’ attendance in this whole college” he responded, pulling you fully on top of him. 

You squealed at the sudden movement and shifted to straddle his lap. You sat up, looking down at him as he tugged and needed at the flesh around your hips. 

“They’re all probably wondering where you are” you said, referring to the hoard of people in his home. 

“Fuck ‘em, they’re all losers anyway” he leant up closer to you, a sneaky hand came and wrapped itself around your neck, pulling you desperately close to his face.

“You’re much better company, tough girl” he whispered through a smile before capturing your mouth in a tender yet rough kiss.

[m30wk1ttycat]

tough love

contains: teenagers being teenagers, cuss words, dirty thoughts, kissing, enemies to lovers, alcohol consumption mentions, smut ig?, getting caught sort of. pairing: newt x reader. summary: you're a med-jack. its almost impossible to ignore newt, always lingering somewhere in the corner of your eye. you hate him, or so it seemed. he hated that, so he decided to confront you about it, maybe force an answer out of you. word count: 1500, give or take.

you and newt had a bit of a rivalry going on. or at least, it seemed like it was rivalry of sorts.

"y/n."

"no," you murmur, trying to assemble some papers and whatever else it was that was on the table.

"please," he pleaded, leaning on the doorway.

"no."

this was just one of you guys' average conversations. you trying to do your job as a med-jack, newt trying to help you with whatever you were doing.

"are you sure?" he asked, still insisting on helping. you'd think he was in love with you or something - which wouldn't be too far off the truth, in all honesty.

"positive," you say, looking up at him from your place at the desk.

he was just so infuriating, persistent on helping with anything you did. everyone in the glade thought that it was just newt being sweet, but you were almost sure it had much more reason to it.

almost.

bandaging chuck's sprained ankle, he just had to walk in.

"need help?"

you roll your eyes in silence.

"thanks, but i'm good right now," you say, smiling. a smile so fake, even you couldn't recognize yourself. a smile you had to keep on your face for the sake of chuck. he was basically your little brother, why make it obvious you hated newt with all the strength you had?

"right," he muttered under his breath. finishing up chuck's ankle, you and chuck head out, completely ignoring his presence in the doorway.

"see you, then.."

"see ya, newt."

it didn't get any better when thomas arrived. the bonfire ended up being a mess to say the least. thomas got his ass beat by gally. and who tended to him? you. jeff had a headache that morning, hungover. clint overslept and skipped the entire bonfire last night. it was odd, because who would want to miss a bonfire night?

newt and thomas both got to the med hut/med-jack hut (i don't even know what to call it anymore). newt was there just to explain what happened, but it wasn't like you weren't aware. you were also there, after all. getting drunk and chatitng with the runners and the jeff, talking shit about the clumsy gladers who stumbled into the circle, who then got their faces bashed in by gally. it was bonfire night. you normally wouldn't even attempt to spark up a conversation with the guys who were most often in the med hut, unless they were injured and you had to take care of their injuries. no one was acting like themselves. but it was bonfire night, yay!!

"geez," you say as you sit him down, newt staring at you from across the room. "he didn't go easy on you, did he?"

and he, indeed, did not. he had several cuts on his forehead from falling, a busted lip and a bruised forehead.

"guess not," thomas shrugged, not wincing or anything. he kept calm, as calm as he could manage to be.

as you clean up the cuts and scrapes and whatnot, you could almost feel newt's eyes burn holes into your back. ignoring that feeling, you were done. thomas got up, smiling. you say your goobyes and thank yous, newt glaring daggers.

just as thomas left, smile still on your face, it quickly faded once you basically got body slammed by newt against a wall.

"why do you hate me?" he asked, frowning. "and don't say that you don't, we both know that's not true."

"newt," you breathe out.

"what is it that i'm doing wrong?" he was being harsh and he knew it. maybe pushing you and pinning you against a wall wasn't exactly his most isaac newton idea? "answer me."

you look away. the result of that? newt pressing you against the wall even harder, your wrists above your head, held together by his hand, his other leading your face upwards to meet his eyes.

"look at me. y/n."

"i am."

it wasn't like you had much of a choice anyways. he pressed his hips to yours, still waiting for an answer. he wanted you to say something. anything, really. just something to prove you weren't dead or slowly passing. though, his hopes were crushed when you stuttered your words.

he let out a breath, leaning his head down right above your shoulder.

"don't be so difficult, there's no need," he said, harshly so. he waited for you to react, only to be met with a small whine coming from your lips as you tried to free yourself. it was no use, he knew that, you should've, too.

your faces mere inches away.

"let me make this clear," he breathed, his lips inches from you, close enough to feel his hot breath on your skin. "i like you, y/n."

he liked you?

HE LIKED YOU??

he glared at you as affectionately as he could, trying hard not to seem like a bitch with the way he was holding you, smushed between him and the wall.

just like in every book, movie, fanfiction - the tension was there. the chemistry was there. the moment was there. the sparks, the butterflies, the way it felt like you were the only two in the world at that moment.

with a grunt, you tilt your head up to look at him, struggling to even talk with his hips propped up against your own, harshly so. "newt," you breathed, "i don't hate you."

"sure you don't," he said, furrowing a brow at you. he kept your wrists above your head, as much as you wished he'd let go. and the harshness of his hips against yours wasn't easing up. at all.

you roll your eyes, trying to look away to hide the blush on your cheeks, but his hand on your chin stopped you before you could even blink, his hand holding both of your wrists captive.

"if you don't hate me, why do you ignore me?"

you let out a whine, "ow-"

he tilted his head to the side, letting go of your wrists. he looked away, smirking. "sorry 'bout that."

he wasn't sorry and you knew that. he wasn't sorry. not one bit..

he also knew that.

and he also knew you couldn't just back away. literally - he had you pinned to a wall in the med hut, where probably anyone with a medical problem could walk in. anytime, too.

"you're making it hard for me to do my job.."

and it wasn't the only thing hard in the room, if you catch my drift. wink wink.

"so what?"

you're almost sure that he's just doing this rile you up, make you hate him even more, when deep down, it only made you want to fuck the life out of his pretty face even more than before. (meow)

"y/n, i love you. more than anything and anyone in this shucking place, really," he confessed.

"i love you too," you mumble under your breath, barely coherent enough for him to hear.

he shook his head, rolling his eyes, trying to seem as annoyed as he could. as much as he tried, the smile forming on his face failed him.

"shut up, i love you more." he pushed your hips back with his a bit. a deep brown gaze, pupils blown wide, he whispered something along the lines of "i'm getting sick of this". and before you could even process what he said, his lips met your in a passionate kiss. his lips tasted like fresh strawberries, a small hint of the moonshine from lat night during the bonfire. maybe he was still a tiny bit drunk, maybe not, but that didn't stop you two from making out in the med hut.

needy, sloppy kisses. hickeys on your neck here and there. newts hips rock, slowly, teasingly, against your own, the friction between you making for delightful shivers rushing through his body. his hands find purchase in your hips, pressing you harder against him as he sucked dark blotches onto your neck. you could feel the growing bulge against your inner thighs. desperately, he kissed you again, nipping at your bottom lip. still, he was gentle. or at least trying to be.

how could he kiss you so fiercely yet so gently? was it the british charm?

whatever it was, you couldn't get enough of it. your mind couldn't either. it was concerning, how long he could go like this, sucking and nibbling at your neck like a snack.

too busy kissing him, you didn't notice minho in the doorway, waiting for you or just anyone to notice him. he stood there for a minute, eyes wide as he watched the second-in-command, his best friend, make out with you, the only available (not really anymore) med-jack.

he cleared his throat awkwardly. "y/n," he called, "gonna pay attention to your patients or what?"

whoops, awkwaaaaaaard..

[melancholyhigh]

RECKLESS.

ft. rookie!leon x lieutenant!reader

synopsis. after leon was careless on a mission, you ask him to pay you a visit to your office.

content. 3.0k words. smut. age gap, power imbalance, delulu leon, subby leon, masturbation, praise kink, office sex, handjob, blowjob, edging, dacryphilia.

note. mb guys, i'll post dilf leon a little later. sub leon is my favourite leon.

masterlist. i love feedback! :3

Tough love. That’s what Leon liked to call it when you’re scolding him. He’s got sympathetic looks from his coworkers each time you drag him away to chastise him, but he doesn’t take it to heart — you want the best for him.

They always say how he ‘gets it worse,’ and they don’t understand how he takes it. But it’s different when you reprimand him in comparison to his colleagues. You pull him aside to lecture him, never in the presence of others. It’s so much more intimate. Unlike his fellow officers, where you nearly publicly humiliate them, he gets special treatment.

Leon likes to think he’s your favourite. He knows he’s your favourite.

When he was the newest recruit, he thought nothing of your ways. You probably did it to all the rookies, but after a few weeks in, he realised you only ever did it to him. 

At first, you thought Leon was just like the others. He was inexperienced and expected much more than this field could accomplish. 

You were strict, that was much. The older officers knew of your demeanour when they had first been there. You weren’t cruel to rookies. They’re new officers. It’s their first time at the department, and you’ve been here longer than you’d like to admit. You couldn’t be too harsh on them, but you weren’t the gentle parenting kind either.

Something about Leon ticked you off, though. You didn’t know what exactly did. When he messed up, you had to tell him off, and, at first, it was worse than what you’d usually say to the other recruits. You felt that he should’ve known better. You weren’t ever this particular with rookies, and you’re shocked that Leon hasn’t even transferred yet. You felt guilty to the point you apologised to him.

So when you pull him aside from the others, they expect you to be worse than you usually are, sparing Leon from the embarrassment, and to an extent, you are. In reality, you’re softer to him. Even if it’s not noticeable — you can tell. You do it so your reputation stays intact. You’re mortified by how gentle you are to him, contradicting your usual attitude towards the other older officers. It’s obvious enough that Chris notices. 

Even though you are rough to Leon, sometimes you’re not as intimidating. Other times when he’s been playing the ass, you’re worse than usual.

When he forgets his papers, you’re easy on him. He’s hard-working, people forget. A slap on the wrist. If anyone else forgets them? You’re on their ass immediately. It’s part of the job. How can one be so forgetful?

You try to reason with yourself that Leon’s more responsible than the others. And you’re not wrong. But you feel uneasy knowing there is an underlying reason why you treat him differently.

He acts thoughtless during patrols? You’re oddly silent, more silent than usual, and it scares the entire department. They usually chalk it up to a patrol gone seriously awry, and it’s not entirely wrong to assume that. But you’re less of a threat when shit blows up in your face to uncontrollable forces rather than when things do not go as smoothly because of an avoidable mishap.

You’re residing in your office right now. If you were to face Kennedy right now, you’d do something you’d regret. He almost botched the arrest. You and a few officers patrolled an area known for its high crime rate where a recent robbery occurred at a nearby convenience store, and you and your team were investigating the area. 

During a conversation with the store’s owners, your squad found the suspect armed with a handgun. As you’re about to take action, just your luck, when Leon S. Kennedy handled the situation. He disobeyed your orders, whether verbally or not, when he dealt with the thief. You were appalled because he knew better than that. Maybe it was adrenaline or stupidity, but the situation could’ve gone south.

Back at the department, you ventured to your office, ignoring Kennedy in the guise of paperwork. You tried to do paperwork, but the image of Leon with a bullet wound, unable to be the officer he used to be or even dead, continues to flash in your mind. 

Was it normal to have such a sense of despair at the thought of losing a coworker? Not to this extent. For Christ's sake, he had a bulletproof vest on. Why were you even thinking about that? You never thought about your other colleagues in such a manner. 

Did you find him attractive? Of course, you had eyes — he was as cute as a button. Not that you’d admit that. Did you like Kennedy more than you lead on? Well, shit. You’re starting to overthink everything. You knew how fond he was of you, like a puppy, following you and obeying your every command. You probably liked that too much.

Sighing, you lean back on the soft cushioning of your office chair, the leather squeaking under your weight. You had to do something about this revelation, don’t you?

–-

Leon has been anticipating visiting your office once again. He’s disappointed with the silent treatment he’s been receiving from you lately. You had brushed him off initially, giving him a stern, “Don’t pull that shit again, Kennedy,” before dismissing him entirely. 

He wasn’t reckless on purpose to hear you reprimanding him. Not that he likes it or anything, but he prefers you being angry to blatantly disregarding him. He wished you’d do something. Punish him for all he cares.

Leon furiously clicks his pen, unable to focus on his papers. He wishes you’d pay attention to him. He reminisces on the time you shared at the bar. It seems to be on his mind more often lately. 

After a tough case, some officers decided to head to a bar and invited him to tag along. He was relatively new, so he took the opportunity while he could. The others relentlessly begged for you to join them — to loosen up. You weren’t keen on the idea at first but you eventually gave in. You clearly adored your squad, and it wasn’t as subtle as you thought.

Leon tried not to get too drunk. He did not want to embarrass himself in front of others, limiting his alcohol intake. You seem not too fond of getting drunk, bourbon in your hand, watered down by the ice. 

You were sat next to him, making quips and chuckling at inside jokes that the older cops say. He felt excluded, quietly sipping on his drink as he listened quietly. After another round, they started to filter out, leaving essentially you and him alone. There were others, but they were too intoxicated, waiting for their spouse to pick them up.

The buzz picks up its pace the longer he’s in the bar. He’s minding his business, and you’re with him. He takes a peek at you. You’re sat there with a look of contemplation. After a few moments, your voice slices through the noise that fills the packed room.

“Hey, Leon,” you said, turning to him and resting a hand on his shoulder. It was the only time he heard you call him by his first name, granted he only saw you at the department. He had looked at you, brows furrowed in confusion. “I’m sorry for being too hard on you. I know it’s probably a lot, but I do it ‘cause I care, ya know? I’ll ease up on ya.”

His cold lieutenant, who he hadn’t heard speak an entire sentence since you joined them for drinks, was talking to him, not just that, apologising to him. Your palm on his shoulder feels warm, giving him a reassuring squeeze before you drop your hand.

“It’s fine. You’re just doin’ your job, Lt.” His face gets redder at the prospect of you caring about him. God, you were so close, a rare smile blooming on your pretty lips. He’s quivering like a leaf and hopes you think it’s the alcohol. 

“I’m gonna head home. Need a drive?” You had finished your drink, standing up and putting on your jacket.

He shook his head, “No, I’ll be okay.”

He regrets not accepting the offer. He ended up taking a cab home, wondering how it’d play out if he had agreed to let you carry him home instead.

The same night, at home, he remembers your hand on his shoulder and the words you had said to him. He felt fuzzy, and he was sure he was mostly sober. He needed a cold shower, leading him to think not-so-professional thoughts about you, arousal blocking his senses.

Up against the cool bathroom wall, he tugs on his aching dick, wishing it was your hand instead, teasing him. He thought about what you’d do to him, making him cry as you whispered how much of a good boy he was, just like you’d tell him he did a good job after a tough assignment.

He came, his fingers coated in his sticky seeds, grimacing at the sight. He had taken an extra cold shower, pondering if he regretted climaxing to the thought of his boss.

He didn’t.

–-

Leon groans in annoyance, scratching off another word he spelt wrong. He wonders if you still remember the night at the bar. It wasn’t anything remarkable, but it solidified the burning fact that you actively care for him.

Leaning back on his chair, he decides to take a quick break. However, it was cut short as you entered the room. Your eyes are on him, and he immediately begins to work on his papers. He didn’t need another reason for you to disregard him.

“Kennedy, meet me in my office. Now,” you say. Your voice is cold, and you’re glaring at him. The officers in the room are giving him a look filled with pity. He doesn’t care, preferring your attention over their sympathy. It’s the longest sentence you’ve said to him since you reached the department.

As you walk to your office, Leon follows like an obedient puppy. He hears the gossip of his coworkers behind him once they think he’s out of shot. He ignores their words and trails behind you, anticipation filling his system as well as another emotion that only you can make him feel.

Once in your office, Leon closes the door behind him with shaky hands. He’s trying his best not to smile, biting his lip. You didn’t forget about him.

“Lock the door,” you sighed. Your command confuses Leon, but he obliges, twisting the lock on the door. You’re leaning up against your wooden desk, arms crossed. You refused to look at him, but your acknowledgement of him was enough. He’ll take what he can get.

“Come closer,” you beckon, your voice low as you look at him. He nervously walks closer to you, almost tripping over his own feet. He prays you didn’t see that. Leon coughs awkwardly, a few inches away from you, leaving enough room for Jesus.

“You know why I brought you in here, officer?” You questioned, voice laced with authority. Leon is stunned at your response. Usually, you get it over within a few minutes, leaving him to finish his papers with a dazed smile, not entertaining pointless questions.

“U– uh, because I disobeyed your orders?” Staring at the floor, he doesn’t want to see your reaction. He really fucked up this time if you’re dragging it out like this.

A smirk tugs at the corner of your lips. Humming softly, you reply, “Yes. You’re a smart boy, Leon. Shouldn’t you know better?” 

“Yes. I’m sorry, lieutenant,” he answers quickly, straightening his posture. Fuck, you’re calling him by his first name all of a sudden.

“I should punish you,” You mention, catching him off guard. He stares at you with doe eyes, pink lips parted as if he didn’t hear you correctly. The sentence wasn’t inherently wrong, but the tone you said made his body heat up.

You grab his belt, softly tugging him closer to you. He stumbles, pressing himself against your warm body, lips brushing against yours. He’s stunned, unable to form a coherent thought, watching you grin at the sight of him.

“I think you’d like that too much,” you chuckle, admiring how wrecked Leon was. You didn’t even get to the fun part yet. You bump noses together as you get nearer to his face.

“Is this okay, darlin’?”

“God, yes, please.”

You capture his lips softly with your own, and he whimpers quietly. Your lips move in sync with his. It’s slow and soft, and you’re testing the waters with him. If he knew he’d be making out with you in your office, he’d buy some mints. His hands move to grip your waist, squeezing eagerly to get more of you.

You break away, heavily breathing as you try to catch your breath. Leon’s chest flushed to yours, and his lips slick with your combined spit. He subtly grinds his bulge against your thigh, eyes snapped shut. The kiss was so much better than he imagined. He still can’t fathom that this is real, that you’re real.

“Can I touch you, pretty boy?” you ask, fidgeting with his belt buckle. His head reels. You think he’s pretty? He’s heard others say it but thought nothing of it. It’s different when it comes to you. 

He nods mindlessly, “Yeah, t– touch me.”

Slowly, you unbuckle his pants, watching it fall to the ground. He’s in his boxers, precum darkening the light-coloured fabric. You run your fingers along his prominent erection through the cloth. A soft moan escapes Leon as you tease the tip.

He watches with hooded eyes as you trail your hand from his tummy to the waistline of his boxers, tugging them down. His cock is fully erect, flushed pink to the head and dribbling precum down his shaft. Wrapping your digits around his throbbing dick, you slowly stroke him, kissing his neck and nipping the sensitive flesh.

You use the excess precum dribbling down his cock as a lubricant, picking up your pace. Leon’s desperate moans fill the room, as well as the lewd noise of you jerking his aching cock. Your other hand wraps around his taut waist, bringing him closer to you. You whisper filthy words and praises into his ear, your pace on his member insistent. 

When he’s about to climax, you stop your movement, cruelly laughing as Leon whines at the loss of your touch. He desperately bucks his hips into your enclosed hands, but it’s not enough. He looks at you with glossy eyes and fluttering lashes. 

“This a punishment, darling. You’re not going t’cum that easily,” you tease, slowly stroking his shaft once more, thumbing the sensitive head of his cock. Leon furrows his brows, frustrated. Leon knew he could’ve avoided this if he was good for you, but then again, would have you been giving him a handjob if he wasn’t so bad.

You continue to bring him close to completion, only to take it away at the last second. He doesn’t know how many times you’ve ruined his chances of coming undone, but he knows you’re cruel. Tears streamed down his face, leaving a red, irritated trail behind on his skin.

“Oh, you look so pretty when you cry, darlin’.” you coo, his cock still in your fist as you continue to stroke him after ruining another orgasm. He throws his head back, and you’re nuzzling into the junction of his neck, leaving bite marks on the flushed skin.

“Please, please, let me cum. I– I'll be your good boy,” he hiccups, rutting his hips into your palm. 

“Mhm, okay, baby. I think you deserve it.”

You take your hand off his needy dick and give him a sloppy kiss on his lips. He observes you through watery eyes as you get on your knees in front of him, your hands gripping the back of his thighs. Fuck, he couldn’t believe it. His lieutenant was on their knees for him, about to make him cum with their mouth.

He whimpers when you drag your tongue along the shaft, tracing the veins that lead to the base. You moan softly at the taste, kissing the tip before taking him entirely into your mouth. He couldn't help but buck into your warm mouth. 

He wasn’t going to last long, he was already so sensitive from you jerking him off. His ruined orgasms only add to it. He props himself on your mahogany desk, the wood digging into his back. Eyes rolling to the back of his head when you hallow your cheeks and take more of him down your throat.

“Ugh, Fuck,” he cries when you moan around his dick, his eyes squeeze shut. A wet gag leaves you as the spongy tip of his cock hits the back of your throat, and your grip on the back of his thighs tightens, leaving indents in the soft flesh. 

“‘M so close,” he whines, thrusting feverishly into your mouth, the desk shaking with each move. Drool slips past your lips as you stare up at him through your lashes clumped together by tears, silently permitting him to climax, his tummy clenching at the sight. To see you in such a manner, you, who’s always professional, on your knees in front of him, choking on this swollen cock. It’s something that’s only ever occurred in his wildest dreams.

He whimpers loudly, hand clasping over his mouth to hide his embarrassing moans as he finishes down your throat. You pull away from his softening cock, coughing, wiping the spit and cum accumulated on your face. You stand up on wobbly knees, gripping Leon’s bicep to balance yourself.

Once Leon gathers himself, he kisses you, filled with passion, his arms encircling your waist, moaning into your mouth. He’s giddy, peppering kisses all over your cheeks and puffy lips. You really do like him, don’t you? You just gave him the orgasm of his lifetime in your office. It’d only be fair to help you out, too.

“Can I return the favour, Lt.?”

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

"you can do whatever you want, you're not Stuck With Me."

"i'll tell you one thing, we'd make history, you and me. you're getting closer now, it's getting better now, but you're still so far gone."

synopsis// bottled up feelings have to come out eventually.

pairing// suguru geto x gn!reader

word count// 8k

contents// angst with a happy ending, college!au, literally just y/n and geto being idiots but mostly y/n, shoko only knows tough love, obligatory rain scene, friends to lovers, ooc geto?

notes// scorpions are haunting me so i’m posting this as a distraction. anyways one of my anons requested this!!! so anon i hope i did ur idea justice and that u like it sorry its kinda all over the place.... anywho so besides this being a request, it was also inspired by the song the point by eatmewhileimhot! bye :3 OH and if anyone else has any other requests feel free to lmk!!

You poke at your food, focusing on the sound your fork makes as it scrapes against your plate instead of whatever the person sitting across from you is saying. You know you should pay attention; you know you’re being rude, but god, are you bored out of your fucking mind. You would much rather be hanging out with Suguru right now, feeling a twinge of regret at turning him down just for this.

“Y/N?” 

Your head raises to look at the person in front of you. “Huh?” 

They laugh nervously. “Did you hear anything I just said?”

You frown sheepishly. “Uh, no, sorry.”

“It’s fine,“ they say, clearing their throat, “I was just saying how I kinda wish we went somewhere else cause I'm craving zaru soba, but I wanted to impress you, you know?”

You nod, not computing the last of his sentence with your brain stuck on the mention of zaru soba. “Suguru likes that.”

“What?”

“Zaru soba—Suguru likes that.”

Your date shoots you a confused stare, and you subconsciously sink into your chair.

“Is, uh, is there something on my face or?” you ask, bringing your hands up to feel around your face.

They shake their head. “No, it’s just—uh, you bring up this Suguru guy a lot, and by a lot, I mean like you’ve brought him up this whole date...”

“I have?” 

They nod. 

“Shit—i’m sorry..” 

“It’s fine.” They dismiss your apology by asking, “What is he to you anyway?”

You stare at him blankly. That’s an easy question. Suguru, to you, is your—he’s your—

“He your friend or something?”

Yes! Suguru is your friend—your best friend even—so why can't you say it out loud? Why are you hesitating?

You laugh nervously, mumbling, “Or something...”

“Or something?” they repeat in hopes you’ll elaborate on what you mean.

You don’t.

Instead, you stand abruptly out of your seat and gather your things. “Um! You know, this has been really great and all, but I actually think I should get going.”

"Oh, okay,” they say, standing up with you. “Uh, do you wanna do this again maybe?”

“You're a lovely person, but...

“It's Suguru, isn't it?”

“What?” You almost choke on your spit as you frantically stammer, “No, uh, no! It's not Suguru-Suguru’s just my-it's-“ you pause for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down. “It's not because of him.”

They curtly hum. “Thanks for giving me a chance anyway.”

You nod. “I'm gonna—I'm gonna go.”

☆☆☆☆

Suguru is face down on a pillow on his bed when Gojo walks into their shared dorm.

“What happened now?” He asks as he goes to sit on the edge of Suguru’s bed.

“Y/N’s on a date,” he grumbles into the pillow, his words barely audible.

Gojo rolls his eyes. "Suguru, this is just sad at this point.”

Suguru lifts his head and glares at Gojo from over his shoulder. His eyes burning holes into the other's head.

“What? It is!” 

Suguru groans and kicks Gojo as he buries his face back into his pillow.

“Ow! Don’t get mad at me for telling the truth!”

Suguru kicks him again.

“Stop that! You’re acting like a child!”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Ok, listen, this isn’t about me,” Gojo adds, rolling his eyes.

Suguru rolls onto his back and drapes an arm over his face, muttering, “Whatever.”

“Oh my fucking god,” Gojo grumbles as he stands up and walks over to his own bed. “I can't take this, Suguru.“ He grabs his pillow and throws it at Suguru. "You can't do this every time they go on a date!”

Suguru doesn’t even flinch when the pillow lands on his face, nor does he bother moving it as he responds, “Watch me.”

Gojo walks back over to Suguru and grabs the pillow from his face before resuming his position on the end of Suguru's bed. "How long has it been?”

“Since?”

“Since you first started liking them.”

Suguru hesitates to answer, “Too long.”

“Exactly!” Gojo exclaims, shaking the pillow in his hands for dramatic effect. “Maybe…”

Suguru waits a moment to see if Gojo will finish his sentence, and when he doesn’t, Suguru sits up, quirking up his eyebrow at him as he asks slowly, as if attempting to subtly warn Gojo to pick his next words carefully: "Maybe what, Gojo?”

“Maybe it’s time to try and move on, Suguru…” He frowns and asks softly, “Are you just gonna torture yourself like this for the rest of your life?”

Suguru sighs and turns away from Gojo, a small frown on his face. He knows he’s right, but he’s scared in all honesty because, on the one hand, what if it works? What if he actually does move on? What if it was this easy to move on this whole time and he was just here torturing himself for nothing? And on the other hand, he doesn't want it to. He’s liked you for so long. You've taken up so much of his heart that, at this point, he thinks his heart is shaped like you, and it would feel wrong to not like you. He can't imagine himself not being completely and utterly devoted to you, and he doesn’t think he wants to.

“Suguru.” 

Suguru's brows knit together as he looks up at Gojo.

Gojo sighs. “Just try? One date. That’s all I’m asking.”

Suguru rolls his eyes, but there’s no real malice behind it. “I don’t even know anybody, Gojo.”

He perks up at the absence of rejection and happily explains, “Don’t worry bout that; leave it all up to me!" He emphasizes the word 'me' by pointing toward himself.

“Ok, well, that makes me even more inclined to say no.”

"Suguru, pleaseee,” Gojo begs. “Just one date!! That’s all I’m asking! You’re my friend, Suguru, and I know I don’t act like it, but I really do hate seeing you like this.”

Suguru crosses his arms and raises his eyebrow at him in suspicion, wondering, “Why are you being nice?”

“Because, contrary to popular belief, I do in fact care about my friends.”

Suguru breathes out heavily at his response, letting a brief silence wash over them.

“So..." Gojo pries. 

“Fine.”

“Yay!-“

Suguru instantly cuts him off, one finger raised, as he emphasizes sharply, “But just one date, Gojo.“

“Good enough for me!” he says, nodding quickly. “This will be the best date of your life, and you’ll realize you don’t even like Y/N all that much!”

Suguru feels like the wind’s been knocked out of him from that statement but quickly plays it off with a scoff, “Yeah, or it’s the worst date of my life, and I realize just how much more I like Y/N.”

“Ok, well,“ Gojo frowns and scratches his head awkwardly, “Can we at least try to be optimistic?”

“Fine.”

☆☆☆☆

Shoko’s sitting on her bed with her textbook in her lap when you enter your dorm, kicking your shoes off haphazardly across the room and slamming the door shut.

“You good?”

You groan in response as you sluggishly make your way toward her, pushing the book off her lap and instead replacing it with your head.

She looks down at you with a raised eyebrow. “I was reading that, you know.”

You groan again, but this time it comes out louder and more gutteral.

“Are you gonna tell me what's wrong, or are you gonna just lay here in my lap groaning?” she asks, rolling her eyes.

You pout, looking up at her. “Is there something wrong with me?”

“Where should I start?”

“Shoko,” you whine.

She bites back a smile as she asks, “Why would you think something's wrong with you?”

“I don’t know,” you mutter. “I mean, I go on so many dates, right?”

Shoko nods and hums something in acknowledgment.

“But they all never end up working out! Like none of them!” You exclaim, throwing your hands out in front of you, barely missing Shoko, who jerks her head to the side just in time. “They always all say the same thing.”

She pushes your hands back down so that she can return to her original position and asks, “Which is?”

You let your hands fall onto your chest as you turned your head to the side to avoid her gaze, mumbling, “That I mention Suguru a lot.”

You don’t even have to look back up at her to know she’s raising her eyebrows at you in question.

“Well, do you?”

Your gaze snaps back up at her as you exclaim, “Yeah, but!” You pause. “He's my… He's my best friend, so obviously I'd mention him a lot!”

The word best friend feels heavy and foreign in your mouth, like it shouldn’t have been there in the first place. You’ve never had to put a label on you and Suguru, not until the dates at least, but even then, you and Suguru were just... simply that. You were just you and Suguru.

“Really feeling the love here.”

“Shokoooooo.”

She rolls her eyes. “You were just on a date, right?”

You nod. 

“And so what happened?”

“Nothing! I was bored; I'm always bored on these dates.”

"Okay, hypothetically,” she says, “What would you have rather been doing?”

“Hanging out with Suguru! I always tell myself that I'm literally gonna stop canceling on him for dates because I always end up regretting it.”

“Right, right,” she says, nodding. “Y/N, have you ever considered that maybe you like Geto?”

You roll your eyes. “Of course I like Suguru, idiot. Did you not just hear me call him my-“

She cuts you off: “Your best friend. Yeah, whatever; that's not what I mean. I mean, like. romantically.”

“Huh?” Shoko’s words take a minute to fully register in your brain, but once they do, your jaw drops. “Huh?! Pft, no, of course not, that is... That is a… That is a silly thought.”

She stares down at you blankly, knowing the way you just stumbled over your whole sentence reveals your lack of conviction in your own words. "Right… Well, if you’re gonna be an idiot in denial, can you do that in your own bed? I need to study.”

You roll your eyes as you sit up. “Is studying all you do?”

She shrugs, and now that her lap is free from you, she places her textbook back into her lap. “Is obsessing over Geto all you do?”

“I don't like you.”

“You love me. Now leave me alone.”

You begrudgingly hop off her bed and into your own, making it a point to sigh dramatically the whole time. Once you're in your own bed, your phone goes off, and upon seeing who the message is from, you bite back a smile.

Shoko looks up from her textbook at the noise. “Oh? That your man?”

“Shut your mouth.”

She simply laughs under her breath before returning to her studies, and you happily return your attention back to your phone. 

Suguru<3: hey

Y/N: hey!

Suguru<3: oh I didn't expect you to reply so quick lol. I thought u were on a date?

Y/N: was :/ that shit suckedddddd it was so boring Suguru pls I would've much rather hung out with you

Suguru<3: well I mean u could've

Y/N: I KNOWWWW ugh next time remind me to never cancel on you for a lame date again k?

Suguru<3: yeah I will… so I'm taking it you won't be seeing them again?

Y/N: definitely not... I do wanna see u again tho!!

Suguru<3: you'll see me in class y/n

Y/N: yeah but that's so far awayyyyy

Suguru<3: yk if u wanna hangout rn u can just say so 

Y/N: do u wanna hang out?

Suguru<3: he can't he's busy -gojo 

Y/N: gojo when I get my hands on u. 

Suguru<3: :p -gojo

You groan dramatically and throw your phone somewhere onto your bed as you shove your face into your pillow, mumbling, “I'm going to sleep.”

“Eager to see your man tomorrow?”

“Die.”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

Gojo and Suguru are walking to class when Gojo starts humming obnoxiously, like he’s thinking about something and wants someone to notice, so he doesn’t stop until Suguru sighs.

“Can you shut up?”

Gojo frowns and feigns hurt. “Aren’t you gonna ask me what I’m thinking about?”

“Fine, what are you thinking about, Gojo?”

Gojo slightly leans in toward Suguru as he coos, “Thinking about who I’m gonna set you up with, obviously!”

"Oh, right about that...”

“Nuh uh, you can't back out!”

“But I think they might feel the same?” Suguru says, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

Gojo’s head whips toward Suguru in shock. “Wait huh?” 

“Before you stole my phone yesterday—which I’m still mad about, by the way—they said they would’ve rather hung out with me than go on the date,” he says, pulling out his phone to show Gojo the texts.

Gojo doesn’t say anything, and the lack of anything coming out of his mouth worries Suguru, who’s now scanning Gojo’s face for a trace of anything to tell him what the other is thinking and gets it when Gojo finally cracks a frown.

“What? Why do you look like that?” Suguru asks, and he hates how it comes out more panicked than he intended, his own voice like nails on a chalkboard to his ears.

“I don't wanna say anything that would get your hopes up,” Gojo says, his gaze now fixed on his steps. “And besides, maybe this date could still be good.”

“You’re not gonna let me get out of this, are you?”

“Of course not!” he says, his regular pep back in his step. “So does tomorrow work for you?”

“Yeah, whatever, Gojo, you’d make me go regardless, I don’t know why you ask.”

“Lol, true anyway." Gojo’s steps come to a halt. "Here’s my class; see you later!”

Suguru waves him off: "Yeah, whatever, oh, and Gojo?”

“Hm?”

“At least set me up with someone good," he says, an ever-so-slight smile on his face.

“Of course! Leave it all up to me, bestie!”

Suguru nods and continues on toward his own class, only then does he huff, “Yeah, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

☆☆☆☆

You sat in your seat, your cheek leaning in your palm, sighing every so often from boredom but quickly perking up when you notice a familiar face walk through the door.

“Suguru!” 

“Y/N!”

Your gaze is glued to him as you watch him take his seat beside you; only once he’s fully situated do you speak up again: “I was wondering if you were skipping or something.”

Suguru tilts his head at you in confusion, asking, “Why?”

“Because you took so long.”

He tries to ignore the heat rising to his cheeks. “Did you miss me that much?”

“Shut up. What were you doing anyway?”

Suguru rolls his eyes. “Gojo made me walk him to class.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, your voice unamused as you speak, “Lame excuse, I walk with Shoko to her class every day and I still get here before you.”

“Yeah, that’s cause it’s Shoko?”

“True, I’ll excuse it for today if...”

“If?” He narrows his eyes at you, urging you to continue your sentence.

“If we hang out tomorrow?”

“Can we hang out today?” He looks away as he says, “I’m kinda busy tomorrow....”

“Aw man,” you say, frowning, “You’re never busy.”

“I know, sorry, it’s just—" He halts before mumbling out the rest of his sentence—“something Gojo’s making me do.”

Suguru finally returns his gaze to you when he hears you huff.

“He’s taking you from me too often; I'll have to intervene sooner or later if he keeps this up.”

He stifles a laugh. “Can you not today?”

“Nope, I've gotta work on a project for one of my classes,” you say with a disappointed sigh.

“Okay, well, how about Wednesday, then?”

“I can fit you into my schedule, I suppose.”

“Oh shut up; don’t act like you weren’t the one asking me to hang out last night.”

“I was a different person then,” you deadpan.

Suguru rolls his eyes but can’t even try to hide the grin on his face. “Yeah, ok.”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

Come the next afternoon, Suguru finds himself staring into a mirror at his outfit with a small scowl on his face.

“I look stupid.”

“You always look stupid,” Gojo remarks, patting Suguru on the back.

Suguru ignores him and rolls his eyes, his voice small as he borderline pleads, “Do I really have to go?”

“Yes! It’s too late to back out now when your date is in like twenty minutes, so really you should get going by now,” he says while attempting to push Suguru out the door.

Suguru doesn’t budge. “I don't even know this person, Gojo.”

“That’s what dates are for!”

Suguru looks over his shoulder at Gojo, who’s still trying to push him out the door. “You know this isn’t gonna work, right?”

Gojo rolls his eyes and huffs, “Well, not with that attitude.”

“Gojo.”

“Suguru, you said you’d try! so go! try!”

Suguru sighs and reluctantly gives in… again. “I hate you.”

Gojo waves him off, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you can hate me after your date.”

Suguru doesn’t reply and instead opts to flip him off as he walks out the door.

☆☆☆☆

Suguru sits at a secluded booth in a dimly lit restaurant, lost in thought rather than listening to whatever the person sitting across from him is saying. He knows he should be paying attention; he knows he’s being rude, but god is he bored out of his fucking mind, and to say he’s hating every second of this is an understatement. He’d much rather be hanging out with you right now, regretting turning you down for this because just being here makes a part of him feel like he’s betraying you, and the thought has him anxiously wiping his sweaty palms against his pants. He’s been in love with you since he first laid eyes on you. Suguru was naive to believe he could delude himself into thinking that there was any possibility in any way that he’d move on, let alone with someone Gojo picked.

“Suguru?”

He quickly looks up at the person in front of him. “Yeah?”

They laugh nervously. “Did you hear anything I just said?”

“No, sorry—I guess I was just, uh, lost in thought.”

"Oh, it’s fine,” they say, confusingly normal about the whole situation. “I was just, um, talking about your friend Gojo, actually.”

He blinks. “Why?”

“I was actually hoping you'd help me get with him?”

“You do realize you're on a date with me, right?”

“Please.” They roll their eyes. “Don't act like you wanna be here any more than I do right now.”

“How did-“

“It's written all over your face, you know? They must be really special.” They tease with a sweet smile, “I almost feel like I should be jealous.”

Suguru swallows harshly, suddenly feeling way more exposed than he would ever want to, especially on a ‘date’. “Sorry…”

They shrug. “Don't be; honestly, I just said yes to this to get some pointers on Gojo, so I don't think I'm any better than you right now.”

Suguru nods, his mind reeling. He’s not actually sure what’s going on or how he got here in the first place. How could his date be so okay with the fact that he’s here thinking about someone else? Oh, right, because so are they, but it’s still not clicking in his brain.

“You can leave if you want.”

He narrows his eyes at them skeptically. “Huh?”

“To go hang out with the one you actually like.”

Suguru shakes his head. There’s somehow too much happening right now for him to comprehend. “Again, what?”

They roll their eyes playfully, an amused smile on their face, as they lean over the table and whisper, “Suguru, I'm giving you an out.”

He blinks, and suddenly everything clicks, and he doesn’t understand why he’s still here when they just told him they could go to you. He stands up abruptly and says, “Right, I'm...“

“Don't say you're sorry; make it up to me by going to them, yeah?”

“I really appreciate that. Uhm, text me and I'll give you pointers on Gojo?”

They laugh and nod. “Yeah. Now, shoo, go to the one you actually want to be with.”

Suguru turns his head toward the exit of the restaurant, ready to leave, but pauses and ends up turning back to his ‘date’, a small smile on his face. “Thank you.”

“Mhm! Also, I want to meet them sometime, k? We’re friends now, sorry!”

“Yeah… Yeah, you can. Someday? Maybe…”

They tilt their head at him, unamused despite the smile on their face. “Bye Suguru.”

He returns the smile and waves before heading off to find you.

☆☆☆☆

You found yourself under a tree somewhere on campus, attempting—and failing—to entertain yourself since Suguru was busy and couldn't hang out, and you didn't even dare try to go to Shoko for entertainment, knowing her face is probably stuffed into her textbook and she would berate you for interrupting her, or if she did agree, she would spend the whole time with her whole face screaming how she would much rather be studying, even when her studying proves to be just for fun because she cheats on her exams anyway, but you digress. Lost in thought, you don't notice how someone’s approached you until their shadow falls over you.

“You dead?”

You look up and are pleasantly surprised to see Suguru. “Hey! I thought you were busy?”

Suguru shrugs. “Left early.”

“What’d you go do anyway?”

“A date.”

The minute the words leave Suguru’s mouth, you can feel your stomach churn in a horrible way. like you’re on a rollercoaster, but it's not fun; you want to get off, and you want to get off now, like this is final destination and you’re about to fall to your doom. Or more so, this makes you realize you've already fallen to your doom; you've already fallen in love with Suguru, and it took Shoko saying something and him going on a date for it to really sink in like it hadn't been there all along. Your jaw clenches, and you're quiet—terrifyingly quiet—and it makes Suguru regret saying anything; he doesn’t even know why he did... Okay, no, he knows. He knows he was acting petty and wanted to rub it in your face like you rub your dates in his, even if not purposeful, and besides, you two are friends, and friends are honest with each other. But maybe he shouldn’t have been, and it's excrutiatingly obvious he shouldn't have been when you suddenly stand up and avoid his gaze.

“Y/N?”

You kick at the dirt under your shoes and mumble, “I should, um, Shoko actually just texted me.”

“Y/N, can you look at me, please?” Suguru sounds desperate.

You look up at him and smile, but with the way your eyes are glazed over, it’s like you’re not even there. “Yeah?” 

“I thought we could hang out now?” 

“Yeah, but—ugh—Shoko really needs my help, you know?”

“Are we still on for tomorrow at least?”

“I hope your date was good, Suguru.”

“Y/N-“

“If I keep her waiting any longer, she’ll be really mad. I’m gonna go.”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

Suguru wishes he could say he’s surprised when you don’t show up to class the next day, but he’s not. Not at all. Especially from the way you ran off yesterday to how you’re still not answering any of his texts or calls, it was a telltale sign that Suguru would not be seeing you today. That didn’t stop him from trying, though. Of course not. So halfway through class, he left—not like he was paying attention anyway—and made his way to your dorm. Though he hesitates to knock once he’s actually there, he doesn’t even know why you’re ignoring him in the first place, and honestly? He’s scared to find out.

You’ve never acted like this with him before; you’ve always been an open book, always the first to speak up if something he did upset you, so he doesn’t understand why you’ve suddenly done a complete 180. He takes a deep breath before knocking. He came all this way; he isn’t going to just leave without figuring out what's wrong—or at least he’s going to try to figure out what's wrong.

No answer.

He knocks again.

No answer.

Suguru groans as he goes to knock one more time, but before he can, the door is swung open, and he’s met with a disheveled-looking Shoko.

“What?”

“Shoko, hi—“ Suguru gives her a quick once-over. "Sorry, were you asleep?”

She crosses her arms and blows a tuft of hair out of her face. “I was, and I'd like to go back to sleep, so-“

“Right, sorry, uh, is Y/N here?”

“No,” she replies quickly, far too quickly that Suguru doesn't believe her and instead tries to look into the room to find you. Shoko immediately picks up on this and shifts her body to cover any gaps he could look through. “They aren’t here, sorry.”

“Shoko,” he monotones.

She chews the inside of her lip and looks away, and Suguru can tell she's dying to say something, but she ultimately decides against it and shakes her head, looking back up at him.

“They’re not here, sorry.”

Suguru sighs, running a hand through his hair. “It's fine, sorry for waking you.”

“It's fine… Take care of yourself, Geto.”

“Yeah. You too.”

Shoko quickly shuts the door, and instead of climbing back into bed, she grabs her pillow and makes her way toward your bed, only to end up hitting you with it repeatedly. You pull your covers over your head in a futile attempt to protect yourself.

“Shoko, stop!”

“You stop.” She punctuates every word with a hit of her pillow.

“You’re the one hitting me!”

Shoko hits you one last time. “I mean, stop ignoring him, idiot.”

You peek your head out from under the covers, a frown on your face.

“Don't look at me like that; you’re acting childish, and you know that.”

“I can’t look at him.”

“You’re dramatic.”

“Shoko, I'm serious!” You speak adamantly, sitting up. “I mean, I realize I like him the exact moment he tells me he went on a date?”

“Who’s fault is that?”

“Shoko, I-I can't.”

“Whatever, sulk all you want; don't talk to him about it; I don't care; just scoot over.”

Your face twists in confusion. “What?”

“I'm tired,” she says blankly, now climbing into your bed.

You listen and scoot over, though it's more like she pushes you over. “You know you have your own bed, right?”

She yawns: “Too far away.”

You look down at her, and she's somehow already fast asleep. You roll your eyes and lay back down, looking up at the ceiling with your mind racing, and suddenly your phone vibrates. You know who it is; he’s the only one who texts you, but that doesn’t stop you from checking anyway.

Suguru<3: hey. 

Suguru<3: did I do something?

Suguru<3: I don't understand.

Suguru<3: you weren't in class so I tried going to ur dorm. shoko said you weren't there but I don't really believe her.

Suguru<3: can you just talk to me please?

Suguru<3: I miss you.

Suguru<3: guess this means we aren’t hanging out today huh?

Suguru<3: text me soon please.

☆☆☆☆

Thursday 

Suguru<3: no class again?

Suguru<3: look I get it

Suguru<3: okay maybe I don't.

Suguru<3: I don't know what I did wrong but if you don't wanna talk that's fine

Suguru<3: can you just let me know you’re okay?

Suguru<3: fuck I don't even care if you have shoko tell me you’re okay or if you tell gojo I just

Suguru<3: I just need to know you’re okay y/n. 

Suguru<3: how long are you gonna avoid me?

Suguru<3: or avoid class?

Suguru<3: I miss you.

“Can you answer your fucking phone,” Shoko snaps.

You glare at her and instead shut your phone off completely. “There. Happy?”

"No, not at all; I won't be happy till you stop sulking.”

You smile at her condescendingly. "You are so lovely; did you know that?”

She sighs deeply. “Y/N, you’re ignoring Geto because he went on one date.”

“I'm ignoring him because I'm in love with him.”

She narrows her eyes at you. “And he's supposed to know that how? I'm a hundred percent sure the poor boy has no clue what he did.”

“Shoko, you don't get it! You've never been in love,” you sneer.

“I don't need to be in love to know you're acting stupid.” She shakes her head. “You know what? Ignore him all you want; that's your problem, but you need to go to class; don't throw away your college degree for him.”

You sigh, finally agreeing with her on at least one thing. “Yeah... Yeah, I know I'll go tomorrow.”

She nods happily. “Good. Now can I get back to studying?”

“I'm not the one who made you stop, you took that upon yourself.”

“Watch yourself; I'll walk my ass straight to Geto's dorm and tell him for you.”

“…Sorry”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

You get to class the next day extremely early and take a seat in the far back, away from everyone else, hoping Suguru would somehow not see you, or maybe more like in hopes you wouldn’t see him. It doesn't work. The minute he walks in, his eyes are drawn to yours like there was an invisible string there tying him directly to you, and your stomach twists as you see him approach you. As he’s approaching you, he sees your face, and he sees how you look like you're five seconds away from vomiting up everything you’ve ever eaten since you were born, so he stops in his tracks. Besides, a confrontation in the middle of class wouldn't be a good idea either way, so he’ll just catch you after class.

That somehow proves to be much harder than it should have been because once class ends and he turns around to catch you before you leave, you're already gone. He blinks incredulously at your empty seat for a moment before snapping out of it and running out into the halls, trying to find you among the crowd of people, which is easy for him considering you're the only thing that exists to Suguru right now and pretty much always, but even despite that, he can't find you. He stands in the hall, watching people pass him by as he does nothing, and the only thing he can hear is his heartbeat ringing in his ears and the rain that suddenly started sometime during all of this.

He finally snaps out of it once more and realizes that since it randomly started raining, there's a chance that you're somewhere waiting the rain out, unless you are so dead set on avoiding him that you don't care in the first place and walk back to your dorm in the rain anyway... Suguru hopes he's right as he starts walking toward the exit, and exhales heavily in relief when he sees you out on the porch and slowly creeps up behind you.

“Did you know it was gonna rain?”

You flinch at the sound of his voice. “No.”

Suguru’s heart feels like it's about to burst right out of his chest, and he feels like it's been way too long since he's heard your voice. “I think Gojo is gonna bring me an umbrella; do you wanna wait with me?”

“No.”

“No?”

You shake your head and start walking out into the rain, but you don't get far when Suguru reaches out and grabs your wrist.

“Wait!”

You look back at him, your jaw clenched tight. “Let go of me, Suguru.”

“You’ll get sick.”

You yank your wrist out of his grasp. “I don't care; I want to go back to my dorm.”

For a few moments, Suguru feels stuck in place as he watches you begin to walk away, yet everything in his being is screaming at him to go after you, to not let you go. He doesn’t even realize he was holding his breath this whole time until he gasps for air, and at the same time, his body finally decides to align with his mind, and he runs after you. You can hear his foot steps pattering against puddles, which only makes you speed up your walking.

Suguru notices this, and although he's still chasing after you, he decides to call out a pained, “Why are you ignoring me?”

You almost don't even hear him over how loud the rain has grown.

Almost.

“I'm not ignoring you, Suguru,” you say, stopping in your tracks with a deep sigh. He’ll catch you sooner or later, so maybe it's best to just get it over with.

Suguru doesn’t say anything until he's right behind you. You can hear just how clearly his voice trembles as he says, “Oh, so we’re lying now?”

“I'm no-“

“What the fuck happened? What are you doing?” and although he sounded exasperated only a second ago, when he speaks again, it's horrifyingly subdued: “This—this isn't us.”

You whip around to face him, a scowl on your face as you fume, “There is no us.”

Suguru’s face goes blank. No us? That's not right. That's all there is. There's only ever been an us because Suguru is not him without you. It's never just Suguru. It's you and Suguru; it's him and you; there's no him without you.

“What?”

“There is no us, Suguru; that's—“ you say, gesturing in little circles with your hands in front of you, trying to act out whatever word you're looking for. “That's the fucking problem.”

“I don't—“ His voice is breathy as he shakes his head in confusion. “What are you saying, Y/N?”

“You know what I'm saying.”

“No,” he says sternly, "No, I don't. I need to hear you say it.”

You take a deep breath and squeeze your eyes shut, focusing on the rain falling against your face rather than the words coming out of your mouth: “I'm in love with you.”

The silence is suffocating, and you're violently aware of how you can feel Suguru’s eyes burning holes into you. You swallow harshly before peeking your eyes open, and he’s just standing there wide-eyed, his jaw slack.

“Suguru?”

“Why now?”

With his voice so small and brittle, you hardly even heard him.

“Huh?”

“Why now?” he repeats, this time louder, harsher.

“I don't—I don't understand?”

Suguru laughs in disbelief. He brings his hands up to cover his face, and he just laughs into them or cries; he's not even quite sure anymore. And after a few moments of this, he finally takes a deep breath, running one hand down his face as the other drops back to his side. “Do you know how long I’ve been in love with you, Y/N?”

“What?” You’re hopeful for a moment, but that all comes quickly crashing down, realization washing over you. “Wait, but you went on a date.”

“Y/N, it's been so long that Gojo got tired of me wallowing in my own self-pity every time you went on a date.” He sighs and takes a moment to collect his thoughts. “So he forced me to go on one too to try and help me move on.”

“Why didn't you wait for me?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Suguru doesn't know whether to nod or shake his head. “No, I know, but I don't understand.”

Your face scrunches up in disdain, silently reading—what's there to not understand? “Why didn't you wait for me to fall in love with you?”

“Y/N, do you even hear what you're saying right now?” he scoffs. “Do you even hear what I'm saying? All I've ever fucking done was wait for you, and I go on one date that I left early for you, and now I'm the bad guy?”

Your heart sinks like a bag of rocks into a deep body of water. “No wait, Suguru, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry.”

Suguru looks down, avoiding your stare, carefully tapping a puddle with the tip of his shoe as he mumbles, “Yeah.”

“Do-“ you stop yourself and swallow harshly before continuing, “Are you still in love with me?”

He stays silent, and embarrassment floods your bones. How could he still love you? You, who's been subconsciously dangling a treat in front of him like some kind of animal just to coax him into doing what you want, into staying with you, following you around, just because you were too out of touch to realize you even liked him in the first place. Of course, he wouldn't still love you.

“Of course I am. Don't be silly,” he reluctantly admits.

Relief washes over you, and the breath you take feels like the first one you've taken since Tuesday, when he told you about his date in the first place. “So... now what?”

The same relief does not wash over Suguru; in fact, he's feeling anything but relief. Too many things to name, to pin point; it's just all too much. This is just too much. “I need space; I can't—" he shakes his head, his voice barely above a whisper, "I can't do this right now.”

“What?”

“I just. I can't. I'm sorry.”

Your voice cracks, “But-“

“I just need to think about this,” he says, waving his hands around in small circles, referencing the two of you.

“Oh.” You take a step back and nod. “Okay. I'll go then... I love you, Suguru.”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Yeah, I love you too.”

Suguru watches you walk away, and he can't tell his tears apart from the rain; can’t tell if his heart is stopping or if it's racing; can't tell if he's breathing or suffocating; he can't tell anything. His surroundings are drowning out and blurring into vague shapes and figures around him, and Suguru is sure he could just drop dead right then and there.

“Jeez, I didn't take that long that you had to walk out in the rain, dramatic much?”

Suguru, in all honesty, didn’t hear a word that was just said; the only thing that caught his attention was the lack of rain hitting him. He looks up to find an umbrella there instead of the dark cloudy sky that resembled his insides a little too much, then looks to his side to find Gojo there, and he wants to wipe the stupid grin off his face. If he can't be happy, why should Gojo? His head drops in defeat at his own thoughts. God, he’s acting shitty.

“Sorry.”

Gojo looks at him curiously. “You good?”

“No. No, I'm not good.”

"Hey dude, what's wrong?”

Suguru lets out a harsh laugh, and with no rain hitting him anymore, he knows for sure the thing dripping down his face is tears. “I fucked up.“

Gojo scans Suguru’s face frantically, looking for something—anything—that will tell him what's wrong with his best friend.

“Suguru, you have to be a little more specific than that.”

“Y/N loves me back.”

Gojo goes wide-eyed, and he gives a confused smile because how could this warrant his friend’s reaction? “What dude, that's gr-“

Suguru quickly cuts him off: "Great, I know, but I told them to give me space, Gojo.”

Frankly, Gojo isn't even worried anymore; he’s just in complete disbelief, shouting, “What? Why the hell would you do that?! Are you stupid?”

“Maybe!” he shouts back, trembling. “I don't know! They just— They went on about how I should've waited for them, and I was mad because that's all I've ever fucking done. I don't know; I wasn't thinking straight, and I fucked up, and they left. I made them leave. I asked for space when I hated all the space we've had from each other this whole week, and I asked for more?” He repeatedly hits his forehead with his palm, muttering, “I'm an idiot, fuck.“

“Suguru.”

“What?”

Gojo tilts his head at him. “Why are you still here?”

The question stills his movements, his hand falling back to his side, and he stares at Gojo in pure confusion. “What?”

“You obviously know that space isn't what you want, and you just said it in the heat of the moment, so why are you still here?”

Suguru is silent.

“Why aren't you running after them? They want you, dude! And you want them too!”

Suguru thinks if it weren’t for Gojo constantly moving, he'd think time had completely stopped in time with his realization on how he’s a complete moron.

“Suguru.”

Suguru sighs. “I hate when you're right; you know that?”

Gojo perks up knowing that he got through to Suguru; he coos sing-song, “If that were true, you'd hate me all the time.”

Suguru nods, “I do.”

“Oh, shut up." Gojo extends the handle of his umbrella toward Suguru. “Do you want my umbrella?”

“No, it’s fine; I’m already wet,” Suguru says, looking down at his soaked clothes as he wipes any remaining tears away. “What’s a little bit more water?”

“Good luck, Suguru.”

“Thanks Gojo.”

☆☆☆☆

You walk into your dorm slowly, in a daze-like state. Honestly, you don't even remember walking here; you just remember your fight? confession? argument? — your something with Suguru, and then there's a lapse in your memory, and now you're here.

“Y/N, dude, you're getting water everywhere.“

You sniffle and look down at the puddle that's forming underneath you. “Sorry.”

Shoko tentatively stands up from her bed and cranes her neck down to try and look at your face. “Y/N? Are you okay?”

You look up at her with a wobbly smile. “I confessed.”

She looks at you blankly, unsure if she should say something or if you are.

“He asked for space.”

“He likes you, and he asked for space?”

“I didn't tell you that—“

“It's obvious; keep up,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Anyways, so he asked for space?”

You nod blankly. “Uh huh.”

“Why?”

You rub your eyes in hopes that not looking at Shoko will make the embarrassment lessen. “I said some things in the heat of the moment, and... and yeah.”

It doesn’t.

She’s strangely unfazed; in fact, if anything, she’s partially annoyed. “Ok, and you’re just going to listen to him?”

“What else am I supposed to do, Shoko?” you ask incredulously, glaring at her with your hands back at your sides.

“Fight for him? He likes you back, and if you said something in the heat of the moment, odds are that him asking for space was also just in the heat of the moment.”

“You weren't there, Shoko. You didn't see how he was looking at me—at how he said it.”

“Y/N,” she says disappointedly, eyes shut and pinching her nose bridge. “He's literally been so upset at you ignoring him these past few days; do you really think he meant it when he asked for space? Even more space?”

You blink at her, your mind gone blank.

“Look, maybe he did, yeah? But maybe he didn't, and you won't know unless you go fight for him.”

“I don't know Shoko,” you mumble skeptically.

She rolls her eyes as she rebuts, "At the very least, you can apologize for what you said.”

“I already did.”

“Again, this time now that your head is… somewhat clearer... Are you really just gonna let him get away like this?”

“…no,” you answer weakly, which isn’t good enough for you or Shoko, who’s looking at you with her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. “No,” you say again, this time with true conviction behind your words—word. “I don't want to let him get away like this. I don't want it to end like this.”

She gestures toward the door with a small, proud smile on her face. “Then go.”

You look back at the door before looking back at her and nodding. “Thank you, Shoko.”

“Uh huh,” she says, starting to walk back toward her bed, “and when you come back, you better not make another puddle.”

“No promises.”

☆☆☆☆

In an attempt to save whatever dignity you have left, you decide not to run down the halls like a shitty rom-com cliché; instead, you speed walk. Which, in hindsight, is probably even more embarrassing than just full-sending it by running, but you digress. You barely get halfway down the hall when you see Suguru. Both of you make eye contact at the same time, yet neither of you stop making your way toward each other, but you both slow down, carefully walking toward each other like two predators about to attack.

“You're leaving puddles in the hall,” you say quietly now that the two of you have come to a halt right in front of each other.

Suguru nods and looks you up and down. “So are you.”

You both stand there for a moment, just staring at each other, neither of you saying anything. Allowing your presence to speak for itself, but it's awkward—too awkward—and it feels like your knees are gonna give out on you if you stare at him any longer in silence.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came for you." He shakes his head, ignoring his own answer, like his very words aren't the most important thing to you right now. He came for you. “What are you doing here? I thought you would’ve been in your dorm by now.“

“I was—“ your voice grows quiet, “But I was coming for you too.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you don’t have anything to apologize for, Suguru. I shouldn’t have said what I said; that was selfish of me. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want space,” he blurts out, hardly acknowledging your apology, which he didn't need in the first place. What he needs is you, and it will always be you.

“You don’t?”

“God no,” he says vehemently. “Space is the last thing I want. I don’t want space from you. I feel like there’s something missing when I’m away from you. How could I ever want space, Y/N?” His voice cracks a little at the end, and it has your heart racing. “I was just mad, and I shouldn’t have said that.”

You have all of these feelings inside you, and you’ve cried enough today to last the rest of your life, so instead you find yourself laughing, and Suguru looks slightly mortified.

“Why are you laughing?”

You laugh some more before trying to catch your breath, and you take a step forward closer toward him as you speak through deep breaths, “I’m just so fucking relieved. I-fuck-I love you, Suguru.”

Suguru closes the space between you two, pulling you into his embrace, and you tuck your face into his shoulder, his cold, damp clothes doing wonders to soothe your now-burning cheeks.

“I love you too, Y/N.”

“I think we look stupid standing here soaking wet and hugging...”

“Wanna make ourselves look even stupider by standing here soaking wet and kissing?”

You pull away ever so slightly just to look at him, and he’s staring at you with a smirk, and the longer he waits, the more furious the blush on his cheeks gets, and you can't help but stall your answer even more just for that reason.

“…matter of fact, yes, I do.”

Suguru grins widely but wastes no time connecting your lips together. The kiss is better than you could have ever imagined; it's gentle yet passionate all at once, and it's sloppy because neither of you can fully stop smiling long enough to keep the kisses consistent. And It's everything. He's everything, and you're mad that it even took you this long to realize that in the first place, but at least you don't have to worry about that anymore. Now you just have to worry about the fact that you two will probably end up getting sick from your wet clothes, but that's a problem for after you two stop kissing—if you two ever stop kissing.

©TODAYISAWTHEWHXLEWXRLD

[k1ngpin42]

This one's actually wild- Ghoul x Reader Fic

𝔾𝕣𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝔾𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕖 (𝔹𝕪 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕤 𝕋𝕣𝕦𝕝𝕪)

WARNINGS: Part 1 of 2 (Part 2 has all the smut but read this first u won't regret it :) (unless u do)

Part 2 here: https://shorturl.at/YHk7p

You have been travelling for weeks. Taking meaningless jobs for people for not enough caps and spending them on drinks and a spot of food every now and then. You promised yourself you wouldn’t end up like this. That you’d use your skills in craftsmanship and explosives to help those big organisations clean up the helpless towns you’re always coming across. 

You took a seat on a rusted bench in the center of town, next to some skinny, middle aged man. You eye the synth bartender who has been scrubbing the same mug since you got here. 

“Do you have vodka?” You ask it, and it reaches down, picking up a dusty bottle filled with clear liquid. You nod. 

“Good, how much?” The synth replies in inaudible dialogue and the man besides you smiles.

“He says, 35 caps.”

“For one drink? Pretty steep….” 

“It’s the good stuff.” The man tries. You glare at him.

“‘Good stuff’ huh? It’s got a layer of dust….”

‘It’s…aged.” The man returns with a smile. You roll your eyes. 

“Fine, here.” You say, pouring a small bag of caps into the robots hand. 

He pours you it and you drink it straight without flinching. The man watches you intently. 

“Tough day?”

“Tough life.” You reply, grimly. He nods.

“I hear that.” You nod back, thankful that that unneeded conversation in your life had concluded itself.  “I’m not having the best day myself.” You sigh, having just jinxed yourself. 

“Really?” You ask, acting mildly interested. 

“The group I run with, we protect this town but we’ve been having a time of it lately. This one guy we’re after is relentless. In fact, he’s not even a man he’s a fucking ghoul, and a horrific one at that.”

“Feral?” You question, tapping on the side of your glass to indicate another drink. The robot looks at you, unimpressed. Or at least that’s how you depicted it’s synthetic, lifeless face. You sigh, placing another bag of caps into its hand and getting another swift poor in result.

“No, but he’s the worst type there is. He’ll take out anyone who gets in his way by force.” You tilt your head in confusion. 

“Wait, you’re after a man-“

“Ghoul.” Corrects the man. You sigh at the unneeded correction.

“Ghoul, because he got some people killed in a crossfire? That’s kinda how life is, law-lover.”

 “A man he had conducted business with hadn’t delivered his end of the bargain, and he fed his son to him in soup.” You smirk, surprised. 

“Sheesh. Hardco-“ You return your face to a neutral expression when you notice his look of outrage. You clear your throat.

“How do I find him?” His eyes widen.

“Y- You’re offering?” You roll your eyes.

“No, I said it for shit’s and giggles. There’s a reward I take it?”

“Oh a handsome one- but I’d need proof before the payment can be delivered.” You continue glaring at him.

“I know how a fucking bounty works, Mr…?”

“Flint.”

“Your last name is fli - you know what I don’t care. What’s the reward?”

“1000 caps.”  Your ears perk at this, a warm smile coming to your face. 

“I want 200 now. I need money for my weapons and such.”

“200…”

“If you can’t even cough up 200 how am I meant to believe you’ve got 1000?”

“Fine, here.” He pulls out the caps. “And a drink, on me.” He tells the robot. It nods and you let out an annoyed sigh.

“Knew that fucker could understand English. Why are you trusting me anyway? You don’t even know me.”

“I do, actually. Beautiful young woman in road leathers with a big bag on her back. I take it filled with explosives?” You eye him cautiously. 

“How do you know me?”

“It’s my job to maintain connections in other settlements. I’ve heard you help the odd person with your unique explosives. You build traps, turrets, dirty bombs and such. I trust them, and even if you do just run away with my caps, better than having no hope at all.” You sigh.

“That’s stupid. But I’ll get you your ghoul.”

Even with your advanced tracking skills, the ghoul wasn’t hard to find. He wasn’t exactly subtle, and when he walks in everyone turns, eying him like he’s nothing. He was more handsome than you expected, and to be fair, you hadn’t expected him to be attractive at all. This man wasn’t like any ghoul you had encountered. He looked more put together, and he had a cowboy hat like he had just stepped out of a fucking movie. 

“I’m looking for Adam.” He yells, and you notice the shotgun doing tricks in his hand. 

“To anyone who tries to stop me, I hope today is a good day to die. Although, I suppose it’s as good a day as any…” His accent was unexpected to you. It was deep and real pretty. You wondered why he was the way he was. You always wondered about ghouls, but had never met one you could exchange a sentence with before you had to blow them limb from limb in self defence. 

The bombs were already in place, set to detonate when he got into a certain building. It was made with a fluid ghouls were particularly prone to, and not even a ghoul can survive being transformed into pink mist. Now all you had to do was lure him up there. You had gone with Mr flint from earlier, and were now using him as a cover story. 

“You cock-sucking bastard! I know you took my sister.” He goes along with your story. 

“Took her? She wanted to go.”

“Anyone could want to do anything when their blood is pumped with jet you fuck.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“I know you took her, and I have proof-“

“Oh yeah?” He asks, grabbing you and putting your body against his, running his hands along yours.

“What if I did take her? You wanna join, hm?” The ghoul tilts his head, watching this unfold in the distance. You grab the mans arm and twist it backwards, making him scurry away from the floor. The ghoul smiles.

“Well, well. What do we have here?” He asks, stalking over to you and putting the cold, cracked skin of one of his hands upon yours, kissing your body with goosebumps in consequence.  Flint scurries off to the ambush location, leaving you alone with the ghoul. If there were any others in the town, they certainly weren’t making an appearance with him around. 

“Please don’t hurt me.” You pretend to cry, and he lets out an uninterested groan. 

“I’m not even here for you I-“ He looks at you a little longer and something in his cold eyes change. 

“Fine, what happened, anyway? This man messed with your sister or something?” “He took her, I know he did!”

“Just calm down sweetheart.” He says, putting his hand on your arm. 

“Any idea where?”  You nod, positively surprised that the ghoul fell for the bait. You had heard he had a soft spot when it came to women, children, animals, that sort of thing, at least in certain scenarios, if he cared enough. 

“Yes…that building over there.” You say, pointing at one of the higher buildings. He nods.

“Well….I gotta take care of some business first. You right to stick around? I’m always happy to helps when insects…” He shoots his shotgun from his hip, killing a roach you hadn’t heard approaching. “Needs crushing.” He adds. You tense up a little. The plan was to get him to that building as soon as possible, if anything else triggered the explosion the ghoul would know you had planned to take him out and would likely respond in ways that wouldn’t leave you in one piece. The ghoul becomes more wary at your reaction.

“Everything…alright?” He questions, taking a step away from you. You nod.

“Just…worried about my sister. But I guess I have no idea what’s in that building…I’d probably be dead if it’s filled with giant mutants or gunners or something…” He just stares at you, unimpressed. 

“What makes you think your sister survived then?” You hesitate, maybe you should have expanded your backstory a little before you got here…

“Well…she’s much more equipped at self defence…”

“If that was the case she probably wouldn’t be trapped in a building, now would she?” The unbearable silence is cut short by a machine turret firing at the ghoul. You step back, shocked.  He tilts his head, taking it out with a single shot, along with 4 men who had been aiming at him.

“You know, it’s not nice being interrupted.” He exclaims, storming into the building. You follow him, hiding behind a nearby counter. 

“Adam owed me chems…information….ammo…” The ghoul explains to some scared folk, slowly. 

“We had a good thing going, until he ran away with the caps. At least…he thought he could run away, but a little birdie told me he just had to stop by his hometown and visit his family before he left isn’t that sweet?” He asked, grabbing a woman and putting her into a headlock, aiming his shotgun at the other man. The woman lets out a frightened sound and he puts his hand over her mouth.

“Shh, it’s okay darlin, I’d never hurt an innocent woman.” 

The situation is so tense you’re not sure whether or not you’ve let out a breath since you first saw him.

“However, Adam is your son, and as his mother of course you’d never sell him out or…put him in harms way, but what situation does that put me in gorgeous? M’ I supposed to let an accomplice of a scammer go?”

“Please…I didn’t know, I promise-“ She muffles into his hand. He shakes his head.

“It’s no problem, really….” He mocks, letting her go. 

“Bring me Adam, or the next time you see him will be only his head. Or maybe an arm…or leg, some part of him anyway-“

“You’re sick!” The man besides him spits. The woman doesn’t say anything for a while and the man looks at her in shock.

“Honey, you’re not seriously gonna-“

“He’s upstairs.” She says. The ghoul smirks in a way that sends foreign feelings to areas of your body it probably shouldn’t be sending to, but you try to ignore it as you watch the rest of the situation unfold. 

When you head up there, Adam makes eye contact with you from your hiding spot, grabbing you and putting a gun to your head. You let out a sharp breath. The ghoul rolls his eyes.

“Oh jeez- you can’t just stay out of my way hm?” The ghoul asks you. Your hands are up and you feel helpless. In any other situation, you would have the element of surprise and could take him out with your knife, but you knew if you tried anything, either Adam or the ghoul himself would have your head. You open your mouth to say something. An apology, a plea, anything, but instead you close your eyes, accepting the very real reality that this could be the place you die, the shit hole where some boy too foolish not to know double crossing Cooper Howard was a death sentence, lived. He sighs.

“Let the girl go.” He says, nonchalantly. 

“If…if you leave my family alone, I will.” Adam begs, weakly. Cooper rolls his eyes.

“Your family did the commonwealth an injustice through trying to help your sorry ass. You think I’m going to give free passes to every bum I meet? I could put a bullet right between your eyes right now, and you wouldn’t even have the power to beg me not to.” The ghouls words make Adam sweat even more. 

“If you do that your girlfriend will be dead.” Adam says, and you let out a shaky breath. As if the ghoul would give two shits if you were alive or not. And why would he? Even if you weren’t lying to his face right now, and you actually did have a sister who did in fact need saving, why would that be any of his business. So when the words, “Fine, you have my word.” Leave his mouth, you’ve never been more shocked. 

“I- how can I trust you?” Adam questions. The ghoul groans. 

“Adam, Adam….you speakin of trust after stealing my caps? That’s brave. And real fuckin stupid.”

“D-drop your gun. And I’ll let her go.”

“You really think I care if this smooth skin girl I barely know lives or dies?” Cooper asks, and you sigh. There it is. The ghoul signing your inevitable death warrant. This is what you get for trying to help the commonwealth, you supposed. He shrugs, cocking the gun. This causes Cooper to drop his own, immediately. 

“I’m really starting to dislike you Adam. Give me the girl.” Demands the ghoul, and you can tell Adam was equally as surprised as you are. He hesitantly lets you go, not wanting to cause more bloodshed than needed either. You let out a breath, falling from Adams tight grasp and into the ghouls arms. You quickly push yourself off of him, straightening yourself up and apologising tremendously. He sighs. 

“Don’t fucking mention it. Let’s leave this prick. I believe we have a sister to save.”

“You’re just going to leave him here?” You ask him, softly. He rolls his eyes.

“Unlike some people, I keep my word when I give it.” He doesn’t say anything else before darting straight past you and to the exit of the house.

“Sorry for disturbing you, ma’am.” He tells Adams mum before leaving. 

He still hasn’t said anything, bolting towards the tall building where Mr flint and a room of explosives was awaiting him. You stop walking, partly because you believe if you do not, you would run out breath and surely die to a lack of oxygen, but also partly because you couldn’t stand anymore silence. He saved you, someone he didn’t know, and was now helping you further. He was a harsh being, you weren’t blind to that, but the thought of sending the ghoul to his death right now wasn’t a thought you found very welcoming. He notices you have stopped and gives you a confused and unimpressed glance. 

“You don’t seem to be in much of a rush to save your sister from these ‘giant mutants’ you’re so afraid of seeing.” He exclaims, not looking at you. You shrug, eyeing only the ground at this point.

“I guess I’m a little shaken. Never been held at gunpoint before. Had guns pointed at me, many a time but- well it isn’t quite the same. And then you saved me so I- well I guess my thoughts are elsewhere.” You admit in one clutter of words. He nods. 

“I…guess that’s understandable.” He replies, coldly. You nod, continuing to walk now but at a more reasonable pace.

“Why didn’t you shoot him?” Cooper glares at you, then back at the empty land ahead.

“I told you. I gave my word.” You sigh at his answer.

“Yes, but why…surely I ain’t worth saving. I’m nothing to you.” He laughs at your comment. 

“Spoken like someone who has lots to live for.” He remarks, sarcastically. You can’t help but smile at this.

“I suppose that was a little dull, I just meant….I’ve met ghouls before and they all tried to eat me.” You confess, and he laughs the most gorgeous laugh you’ve ever heard. 

“Well, we ghouls can be unpredictable. I still may eat you yet.” He teases, and you can’t help but put this into a different context in your own mind.

——————————————————————————————————

As you two get up to the building, your heart is racing. All of a sudden your mind is foggy, you feel nauseous. This whole thing is a bad idea. This man-ghoul….who knew at this point, had only been in your life a few hours and already saved you twice, spared an entire family and was now about to be sent to your death for what? 1000 caps? Flint could kill him if he must, you were not taking a part of it. The ghoul hadn’t just saved you either. He was attractive, kind enough, and brought a type of adventure and heat that you thought had turned to ash like the rest of the world. 

“Well, no ‘gunners or something’ yet.” The ghoul remarks. You nod. 

“Uh, wait here a moment, I’m gonna check this room.”

“Okay, but look out for traps.” He says. You smile at this.

“You worried about me?” He shakes his head.

“I’m worried you’re gonna do something dumb and set off a series of explosions that will get us both killed, but whatever floats your boat sweetheart.” Sweetheart. The nickname repeats itself in your head as you question why it makes your stomach churn in the best way possible. You hurry into the room and see Flint.

“Amazing work at getting him here, which room has the explosives?” He asks, eagerly. You bring your hand to the back of your neck anxiously. 

“About that…what if we just forgot the ghoul? I mean he didn’t harm that family even though they were the ones who had robbed him so-“ “I will NOT hear of this!” Flint exclaims. “He is a mutant, a terrible reminder of the fuckups people from his time have made. Bring him to me, I’ll kill him myself.” You’re stunned by Flint’s aggression to you, especially after it was your life on the line. He can walk away from this with an injured hand and you walk away knowing you were almost a corpse on Adams floor? This man was seriously starting to get to you. 

You couldn’t believe what you were about to do. It had never occurred to you that you would stoop this low, but after all the shit you had been through in your life, this was the one asshole to push you over the edge. To make you do and say shit past you wouldn’t have been able to fathom like….

“He’s in the room on the third floor. The passage on the right should take you there.” You explain. Only that room would have no ghoul, and rather all the explosives instead.

“Good. Are you coming?” He asks. You shake your head.

“Fine, but I’m keeping the caps then.” He declares. You nod. What a prick…. 

——————————————————————————————————

You quickly run to the ghoul, grabbing him by the hands.

“We need to go.” You exclaim, pulling him. He looks at you, confused.

“You found your sister?” He asks. 

“What? Oh- yeah…come on.” You say, and thankfully he follows. You hear a booming explosion behind you and you shut your eyes tight. Cooper looks at you, bewildered.

“Care to explain to me what the fuck that was?” He demands. You stare down at the ground. 

“How…about I tell you over a drink?"

[akutasoda]

another day, another life

bsd ver

synopsis - general dating hc

includes - atsushi, dazai, kunikida, yosano, ranpo

warnings - gn!reader, potential ooc, some angst(atsushi,dazai), tiny bit of swearing(dazai,ranpo), alcohol mention(yosano(not in bad light))wc -

atsushi nakajima ★↷

↪ okay first things first, most likely has never been in a relationship so would be really nervous, but thats okay everyone feels like that

↪ green flag. thats it. a walking green flag.

↪ although he does have his moments of feeling down but given his past thats understandable and definitely would appreciate having someone to stand by his side and help him through his tough times

↪ i can definitely see him being a bit overprotective but not too overbearing as he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. and that definitely comes from a place of being so happy to be in that relationship that he doesn't want anything to ruin your guy's special moments or if he's slightly jealous

↪ not big into pda but i think he would still want to hold your hand if youre okay with that or atleast be nearer to you out and about

↪i dont know why but i can really see one of his favourite things to do with you is having a home cooking kinda date. like even if you haven't decided to live together yet, just one of you going to the others place and making dinner together and having that quality time

↪just small or big domestic acts would make his heart soar

↪just overall would be really wholesome and sweet

osamu dazai ★↷

↪little shit (affectionate)

↪ how you happened to get with him, yeah i dont know

↪i feel like if you knew about his past relationships and his kind of womanizer traits he, personally, would feel as if he would have alot to prove to you.

↪just tries to prove that he wants to be more committed and your not another one of his victims to his charm

↪could write an essay on all his red flags but deep down i believe he truly is trying to change for the better

↪clingy and overdramatic but thats not surprising. if he ever lets you see that more reppressed and more honest side of his feelings would secretly love you taking care of him, being there for him and just overall being supportive

↪ wouldn't see him doing dates per say but would occasionally surprise you with a date or gifts and really indulges you

doppo kunikida ★↷

↪again no clue how you would get with him but thats a win in my books

↪ probably would either create you a schedule that aligns with his or creates a shared one but wouldn't push it onto you to do

↪but would dote on you and always make sure your doing your best and would be really supportive if your not, although he may be awkward in certain situations

↪has some beige flags but i wouldn't say has major red flags

↪ probably gets really embarrassed if you guys are affectionate in public, so not a big fan of pda but he tries although he prefers to be more affectionate with you in private

akiko yosano ★↷

↪queen

↪ definitely a really chill relationship as she would value honesty and commitment in my opion, not that thats not important but to her it would be really important

↪shopping dates. specifically wine. but its that casual fun outings that she really appreciates, just the two of you strolling along the high streets going to whatever shops peak either of your intrests and sitting in cafes. i think quality time is one of her love languages

↪i wouldn't say shes really into pda but if youre okay with it or you like it she wouldn't mind

↪shes mostly green flags i think, like for a relationship definitely

↪would probably be really clingy if she got jealous or drunk but again not too overbearing

ranpo edogawa ★↷

↪little shit (affectionate part2)

↪hes like a gremlin, wherever you two are he will be clung onto in some form (if hes not distracted by something else), like im talking hanging off your arm, arms wrapped around your waist or just simple hand holding(dragging)

↪after a while of dating him you probaly would up with sweets and stuff in any pockets on clothes you have(like how atsushi carries that ramune bottle around)

↪again kinda see you and him doing like cooking dates but more baking cakes and sweet pastries, and more you do the work, he watches

↪other than that i think he would live dragging you to cafes or bakery's just to try new sweets and stuff or just lazy cuddles

↪ would say hes got mainly green flags but some red flags could stem from his ego and stubbornness but he tries his best

[heroictoonz]

king I've been putting off a rewatch of s15-17 for ages do u think its worth it

My instinct is so say no save yourself but like jokes aside I think that’s up to you like, I always said that they gave the RvBs a “bad ending” and that they ruined Tucker’s character post Chorus however, that was back when season 16 was literally first coming out

Flash back here but so when s16 was coming out I was just getting more and more upset with the writing of the show especially and honestly almost specifically Tucker. Somewhere near the end of s16 I stopped watching (didn’t even finish the season) and then after a bit I heard that the next season was gonna revolve around whole new characters

Now this, I only recently learned was weird miscommunication. See I’m trash ass shit at keeping up with news of shit even shit that I like so for the longest time I thought the story of this group I’ve been following since I was a teenager ended at s16 which KILLED me inside so I swore off the rest of the show and vowed to never watch it. Instead I mostly just rewatched Chorus or s1-s13 if I wanted to rewatch the “whole” show. Basically just watching till the end of Chorus and stopping. Every time I tried to go rewatch s15 to mmmaybe finish the show I kept remember how bad things got and kept running away

I’m gonna give some vague spoilers from here on out but it’s cause I do genuinely wanna talk about how I feel having literally only a few minutes ago finished s16 and s17 for the first time

I decided to finish RvB LITERALLY last night like no joke and it’s cause I saw spoilers out of context for s19 and I was like fuck it I need to see what the hell that is show is over anyways might as well finish it. So I am doing that now

I rewatched/finished s16 and fucking hated it. The good parts were Wash being cute and silly and my favorite guy ever of all time and forever. There’s also Grif and this character named Huggins they’re like on god one of my new brotps of all time damn RvB writes some good ass season specific supporting cast cause holy shit man. Also! I liked that Kai was in it! I enjoy Kai so so so so so much! I’ve always wanted more of her in the show! UNFORTUNATELY!

Tucker is so hard to watch. It’s so honest to god painful to watch. Maybe that’s what they were going for I don’t know. But, having now seen season 17 I get what they were TRYING to do I just don’t fully like how they did it.

In s17 Tucker admits to himself that the reason why in s16 he was acting so weird and gross and toxic masculinity “I have to have the biggest and most talented dong in the room at all times or I’ll kms” character ever is cause he was trying to be a leader

It’s sounds stupid and personally I think it IS stupid but now that I know what they were TRYING to write it makes these post Chorus seasons more bearable.

Basically, Tucker spent all that time in Chorus forced to be a leader. Once he finally got comfortable in the position of one Chorus no longer needed them. He wanted to keep being a leader keep feeling like a leader and it went to his head. He tried acting cool and tough and macho cause that’s what he thought a leader was and he says this! Out loud he admits all this to himself in s17! And honestly? That’s SUCH a good fucking concept it’s super fucking interesting and I really dig it plus with Tucker FAILING at being the leader it gave Donut well deserved character growth. I’ve always hated how sidelined Donut got compared to the others cause I’ve always liked him but s17 is definitely Donut’s season and to see him finally get screen time and respect and also have genuine moments of connection with the others was honestly really fucking awesome

So, do I like s16? God no. Do I recommend it watching it? Hard to say. You have to watch it if you wanna finish the show. Is finishing the show worth it? Honestly I dunno yet I haven’t seen 18 or 19 so it’s to be seen rn. But s17 where not perfect was definitely better than 16 and gave better insight on what they were trying to do. I don’t like the execution I don’t think it was as done very well but I like the ideas I like what they were attempting

S15 I admittedly do not fucking remember at all cause again it’s not a season I’ve rewatched more than maybe twice cause I kept stopping cause I just did not wanna deal with what I knew was coming. And I know me I know myself I know if I tried rewatching the show from the start or even s15 in an attempt to finish it I’d ever fucking do it so instead I just started from s16 and went forward

I don’t remember out right hating s15 but similar to the above I think there were good ideas and not all of them were perfectly done in writing. Also there’s this like really cool interesting thing that is about Tucker that then ends up being a stupid child support payment joke and that sucks so much it makes me so burningly livid I don’t even have a joke here it just makes me mad

But! It brings in the concept of other reds and blues other soldiers that were left in the rubbles of project freelancer which is super interesting again I think they coulda done more with specific parts of it and the “Tucker doesn’t pay child support for the buncha kids he fucked into existence” joke sucks especially when they CONSTANTLY SHOW HIM AS A VERY DOTING AND LOVING FATHER it’s fine I’m not mad I’m not bitter I promise

But uh yeah honestly if you like the show a lot I say watch it even if it sucks. Some of my biggest special interests are GARBAGE shows with writing so bad it makes me wanna commit actual arson. But, I love the characters I love the settings and I love what could have been maybe that’s why I always keep sticking around in stuff like this lol even if it sucks I like to imagine what could make it better cause I love it! And if I didn’t love it I wouldn’t care to put as much energy into wanting it to be better as I do! That’s the same with RvB! I wish it was better I wish SSOOOO BADLY that it was better but it’s cause I love it so fucking much not out of any sort of hate if that makes sense?

Idk tldr it’s up to you and you might suffer a bit but if you love the show I say go for it

Aaaand it’s 2am and I read ur ask wrong I thought that said “watch” not “rewatch” but? Points still stand I’m the kinda person that will rewatch even the seasons I hate to remember why I like the ones I love (I’m looking at you Ninjago season 3 you hot fucking garbage that I’ve sadly seen more times than I would like)

[msnanu]

Life Twist 12 | JJK

⏤banner by the talented and sweet: @archivedkookie ❣

⏤summary ❧ After an enormous loss in your life and breaking a long relationship with your now ex boyfriend, you decided you needed a life twist. So you move into a new country to try restart your life and seek for your happiness. What you weren't expecting was someone like Jungkook entering into your life as soon as you got to Seoul.

⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ jungkook x female reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, 4 years age gap (reader is JK's noona)

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language

⏤𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ❧ 10.2k+

⏤ author's note❧ It's finally here! 😌 - I'm so sorry for delaying this for such a long time, this past month has not been easy for me. When I was getting back into writing my beautiful furry friend decided to cross the rainbow. It took a while for me to feel better honestly. For now this will be the last chapter of Life Twist. I might continue it or not, I'm open to write some drabbles for this couple if requested. I loved writing the story of this two lovebirds and I hope you loved it as much as I did 💜 As always, don't hesitate on leaving your thoughts on the story, it makes my heart warm everytime I read your comments. FYI - I'll be working on new ff's! Love u guys and thank u for the love you gave to this story! 🥰 

"So, you're saying he was totally unfazed about Minho?" says Aria sounding genuinely surprised while Emma added "Like, you did not even sense an ounce of jealousy coming from him?".

The three of you were in a corner of Taehyung's apartment talking or more like whispering about your little encounter earlier today with Minho and JK at the gym's exit. The rest of your friends - including Jungkook - were just a few meters away from you so you couldn’t be too loud with your conversation.

You shook your head and continued "I don't know how to describe it. I’m telling you, he was like another person, not the Jungkook I dated. I mean, for God's sake!" you exclaim shouting in a whisper to your two friends "Last time he saw Minho he kept glaring the shit out of him and now the two of them were acting as if they were friends!"

"Well, I'll be damn. I didn't think he could change this much in four months. Seems like therapy is doing its job" added Aria while taking a sip of her gin tonic.

"And how do you feel about all of this?" said Emma looking at you curiously.

You groan loudly, throwing your head back. "Ugh. That's the thing. I don't know. Every time I see him, I want to jump right on him" you say while watching Jungkook talking to Yoongi on the other side of the room and the girls giggle at your honesty.

"I just-" you stop yourself thinking how to voice out your thoughts correctly "There's a part of me that is full of fear. We are in a good place now, I mean... look we are in the same room, we are not pulling each other’s head off and everything's okay"

"But?" 

"But I'm still in love with him, so madly in love that it drives me crazy. I'm so fucking whipped!" you exclaim while sighing and rubbing your temples.

Both of your friends look at you with worried faces, you're clearly too stressed with the whole situation.

"You know I wasn't rooting for you to fix things up with Jungkook in the first place" starts Aria without any filter as usual.

Auch. That was harsh. But you know Aria means well and she's the type to give tough love.

"But that was Jungkook from four months ago, the guy that couldn't even stand to see someone looking at you. This Jungkook-" she says moving her head in his direction "The one that is doing therapy - even though we know he never was fond of it - in a way it feels like he's a whole new person. He is still the same goofy Jungkook we all knew but I think everything that happened with you made him more mature and maybe - I'm saying just maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to give him another chance" she finishes giving you a sweet smile.

"I can't believe I'm hearing that coming out from your mouth, Aria" said Emma with an amusing tone.

Aria loves Jungkook like a little brother but since you two broke up, she sided with you. There wasn't any bad blood between them at all, but she made it clear that she wasn't happy with how Jungkook had treated you.

You were frowning for a while and seeing that you were awfully silent, Aria's comforting voice caught once again your attention "At the end, it's always gonna be your decision, Y/N. And whatever you decide, it's gonna be okay, we'll be here for you."

"I just don't want to feel any regret, I don't want to make the same mistakes again and again" you mumbled, while nibbling on your bottom lip "What would you do, guys?"

"It's too personal, sweetie. But if you want my opinion, if I were in the same position with Hobi, I would give him one more chance."

"I would too,” said Emma.

It's not like you don't want to give it another go with Jungkook. But it would be your very first time coming back with an ex-boyfriend and the thought of getting back with him and the possibility of your heart breaking up again, terrifies you. Even though, deep down, you know your heart is still with him, you never retrieved it. How could you? You never loved someone as much as you loved him, as you still love him.

And before the wheels in your head starts to work and roll, Aria's voice speaks up again. “That doesn't mean you have to give him a chance tho" she says running her arm around your shoulder and squeezing you a little bit "Maybe you need some more time for yourself, and things might clear up for you on its own"

"Or maybe you just need to go with the flow and relax a bit, don't stress that much overthinking everything,” said Emma.

"That's for sure, you need to calm down, sweetie" added Aria.

"Yeah, I think you're right... I should relax and go with the flow" you repeat - as if it was an easy task for you to do.

And that's the last thing they advised you before you moved on talking about Emma and Joey's honeymoon since they were going soon on a trip to the Maldives.

"Ahhh, Jungkook-ah, stop with the puppy eyes, you're gonna give me a headache" Yoongi teases the youngest, wiggling his brows. Jungkook rolls his eyes although a soft grin spreads on his lips, clearly knowing he got caught staring at you. There's no point on denying it. He doesn't want to be creepy, but you look so beautiful, you always do and it's getting harder for him not to drool over you every time you're near him.

"I can't help it, hyung"

"Did you two talked again about... you know, your relationship?"

"No. We talk about anything but that" the maknae simply responds with a soft smile plastered on his face, reminiscing every single conversation he shared with you these last few days. Just talking with you makes everything better.

"And you're... fine with that?" he asks slowly, sounding confused and surprised at how calmed Jungkook is acting about you and your relationship.

Jungkook gives him a slow nod as he says, "I'm happy of being part of her life again, hyung."

It's obvious that he wants to be with you. But after being apart from you for two months when you broke up and not being able to talk or even see you, he knows that he has to appreciate that you're back in his life, even if it's not in the way he's yearning. If he wants to get you back, he knows he'll have to be patient.

"You know, I bought her a ring before we broke up" suddenly Jungkook confesses, sounding almost proud of himself which catches Yoongi off guard and JK sees it by the way Yoongi's lips part.

"A ring, like- an actual engagement ring?!" he asks right away.

Jungkook nods, pursing his lips in a deep thought before saying "Yes, I was gonna propose in our first anniversary but then all hell broke loose and there went my plans with it" 

"Wow. I didn't expect that."

Yoongi was actually the first person to know this. Neither of his other hyungs knew anything about the ring, not even Jin or Jimin. It's the first time he feels like he can properly talk about it without crying his eyes out. And even though Yoongi is not the most open person in terms of feelings, Jungkook always felt comfortable voicing out his thoughts with him.

"Maybe it was for the best, even if I had to go through an unbearable pain." says JK while he sees Yoongi frowning "Maybe I needed to go through all of that to become a better person, not just for her, but for me as well. She deserves the best version of me. I just wish I hadn't made her suffer in that process."

Yoongi stares in silent at Jungkook with a sense of proud and the youngest frowns while saying "What?" 

"Nothing. It's just...you are all grown up now" says Yoongi pinching the bridge of his nose.

Jungkook snorts finding very amusing Yoongi's reaction. "Hyung, every time I see you, you say that same thing."

"Because it's true! You've grown up so much!" he exclaims, smiling as Jungkook grins taking a sip of the glass of wine in his hand "Well, at least you already have the ring for whoever you'll end up with."

Yoongi sees JK gulping while he fights that lump that is stuck in his throat "That ring belongs to her, hyung. I know it'll end up on her finger sooner or later" he says, wanting to sound as hopeful as possible.

"You sound confident, Jungkookie."

"I-...I just know we'll end up together somehow, I have that feeling, you know?" he says softly, taking another gulp of his glass of wine.

Yoongi nods, listening to JK's words carefully before asking "And you'll wait for her no matter what?"

"Always. She's worth it." Jungkook responds quickly, without a single ounce of doubt.

A few minutes later you were on Taehyung's big balcony, watching the stars illuminating the beautiful night sky. After gulping down what would be your second glass of wine, you were feeling warmer and relaxed. You could hear your friends' voices from inside, hearing Jimin and Yoongi's all-time bickering made you smile without even realizing.

"How was your physical therapy session, noona? Everything okay?" a soft and well-known voice resounds from behind pulling you out of your little world.

You turn around, your heart fluttering and your face feeling hot at the sight of your ex-boyfriend smiling at you. A thousand butterflies swirling inside your stomach.

Fuck. I love you I love you I love you - your mind is repeating non-stop. How is it even possible that such a gorgeous human being exists?

You purse your lips, trying to play it cool. "It was good" you respond after a while "It was actually the last session today, so I guess my hand is finally recovered." 

"Oh! Really?" says Jungkook with an enthusiastic tone "Let me see how it looks."

Your eyebrows furrow for a moment. He gets closer to you, taking your hand in his and looking at it, as if he was some kind of doctor and for some reason it makes you giggle. He looks down on you and suddenly you stare wide-eyed at him because of the proximity of your bodies. Jungkook notices how nervous you seem to be, he knows that look on you, he tries to hide his amusement but fails miserably when you see a little twitch on his lips.

And you can't stop looking at his lips. You are mentally screaming, throwing hands at yourself thinking how fucking weak you are when it comes to this man in front of you.

"I missed seeing that look on your face."

"Wha-What look?" you stutter a little bit. 

Fuck. Keep it together, Y/N

"The one that you had every time you were checking me out" he shamelessly says.

You stumble back a little bit as he tries to hold back a laugh. He always finds you adorable when you get flustered.

"You know, sometimes you're too cocky" you say trying to sound as unaffected as possible even though you know you're failing miserably.

"Maybe, but I also know you, Y/N. And I'm sure you were thirsting over me" he giggles before taking a step closer to you and making you freeze in your spot, then he leans in and whispers at your ear “And just to be clear, if it were for me, I would be kissing you since the moment you set a foot on hyung's apartment."

Chris voice is heard getting closer to both of you, Jungkook steps back a little with a triumphant grin on his face seeing how flustered you are. You gulp all the saliva that has collected in your mouth, touching your hot cheeks and trying to compose yourself to not look suspicious to your best friend who's now approaching.

"So, you two lovebirds, are you already back together or you're just busy flirting with each other?" said your best friend with a mischievous tone in his voice.

Is he fucking kidding?  You are sending daggers towards Chris with your eyes. Him and his inappropriate comments. Jungkook just giggles and shakes his head at his hyung.

"Oh- okay I-I just wanted to tell you something" says your best friend stuttering at first a little scared when he sees you looking at him as if you wanted to murder him "As you know my birthday is coming soon."

Jungkook and you just nod your heads waiting for your best friend to continue, since it is no news for anyone. Chris has been blabbering about turning 31 for the last month or so.

"I really wanted to do something different this time, so I rented a nice place in Gangneung right in front of the sea, for all of us to have a little weekend get-away."

"Wow, that sounds cool, hyung. I'll be there" Jungkook quickly replied. 

"I assume I don't need to ask you anything, if you are not there, I'll kill you with my own hands" says Chris towards you trying to sound intimidating.

"Oh!" you feign fear putting your hands over your chest with an exaggerated ironic tone "I'm so scared!”

"I'm so scared" repeated Chris in a mocking tone and you punched him in his arm.

"Fuck" he hissed grabbing his arm "That hurt.”

"My hand is good as new now so don't test me, Christian" you threaten your best friend as he sticks his tongue out to you and you repeat his actions.

Jungkook just laughed at the scene in front of him with you two bickering as always. Sometimes you two seemed to be younger than him.

A few days later you found yourself at the gym again releasing endorphins and also observing your ex-boyfriend from afar while you are running on the treadmill.

It's not like you are a creep and you're just staring at him. You were minding your own business when you came across with your ex-boyfriend form, standing next to the benches. Jungkook looked visibly uncomfortable with some girl next to him that was clearly flirting with him. His doe eyes kept glancing towards your way as if he was mentally pleading for you to help him.

After seeing over the next few minutes that the girl wouldn't give up and leave him alone you thought - okay, I should probably help him - yeah, it's not like you're jealous or anything, he would help you too if you were in the same situation, right?

You stopped overthinking and you walked with determination towards Jungkook and that girl.

"Hey baby, are you ready to go?" you said grabbing softly Jungkook's arm.

Jungkook's doe eyes look right at you and a smile grew on his face while tugging you close to him. "Yes, gorgeous" he said. The girl in front of you widened her eyes, you could see how embarrassed she felt as Jungkook happily introduced you "This is Y/N, my girlfriend."

Girlfriend. You did not realize until now how much you were missing him calling you that way.

"Oh" the girl said giving you a nod "Nice to meet you. Sorry. I should go."

The unnamed girl disappeared quickly and when she was nowhere to be seen you realized Jungkook still had his arms around your waist. He must have realized too because while clearing his throat, he took his arm back and scratched the back of his head saying "Thanks, she was clearly flirting with me but didn't get the hint that I wasn't interested."

"No biggie, I could see a mile away that you were uncomfortable, I'm glad I could help."

He smiles sweetly at you and you're having such a hard time trying not to kiss him right now. Such a beautiful smile he has.

"Are you leaving already Y/N?" he says waking you up from your trance.

God. I hope he didn't notice me drooling over him again.

"Um, yeah in a bit, I have to finish my routine, but I guess in about ten minutes I'll be done with it.”

That sounded natural. As if you weren't spacing out thinking on a hundred different ways to bang him.

"Great, I'll take you home."

"No need, Kook. Don't worry about it.”

Kook. Oh, how he loved when you called him that nickname. He hasn't heard it in a while. It made him smile instantly.

"I wasn't asking, noona. You helped me, now I want to help you. Don't be stubborn" he said softly nudging his arm with yours.

"Okay, I guess" you said giggling.

Twenty minutes later, you are on the passenger seat of his car, giving him your new address since you realized that he didn't even know where you moved in.

Yes, you had moved out from Chris' apartment a few weeks ago. Although you were very comfortable while living with him and he made sure to let you know that you could stay with him as long as you needed, you really wanted to have your own place. Plus, even if he said that you weren't, you knew that somehow you were disrupting his life. 

He couldn't even have a proper date with Irene at his place because you were there, though you tried to go out with Emma and Aria as much as you could to give them as much alone time as you could.

As Jungkook parked in your building entrance he said "You are living really close to my place now, it's a walking distance. Cool"

"Honestly this is the best area out of all the apartments I went to check."

And it really was. It's not like you were looking for apartments near his place on purpose.

He nods. "And you have security at the entrance, that's relieving."

"Yeah" you say chuckling "That was essential for me and one of the main things that helped me deciding on this apartment." 

He smiles and says, "I'm glad you finally found your place here."

For a moment, you feel like you are already missing him even though he's right next to you. You don't want him to leave. You don't want to go upstairs alone to your apartment.

It's not weird if you invite him in, right? You are cool with each other, it's not like you can't control yourself. But maybe it would be weird for him? Ugh, you hate yourself right now. Fuck it. You'll just go with the flow.

"Do you wanna come upstairs for a drink? I'll give you an apartment tour." 

That definitely took Jungkook for surprise. But his smile grew from ear to ear.

"I would very much like that, yes" he said.

"Great, let's go then."

As soon as you entered your apartment building, the concierge - Kim Jin Hyuk - greeted you both and you introduced Jungkook. You told the concierge that JK should be included on your list of 'frequent guests' from now on, so he took JK's information to prepare his access card. 

Jungkook heart felt warm to know that you wanted to include him in the frequent guest list, even if it was a small gesture. Day by day he could feel you getting closer to him and opening a little bit more. 

If you were part of the frequent guest list, you were given a special card to be able to pass the access control system installed on the building entrance without having to wait for the concierge to call the owner - in this case you - and ask permission for the guest to be able to go upstairs. Of course, the card had to be also used on the elevator which would only take that person to the floor that was assigned to that card.

The security on this building was something else. And after the sad events with Ethan on your previous apartment, you were decided to move in into a place that made you feel secure in every sense, and this was it for you.

"Wow, this is amazing" said Jungkook as he entered your living room.

It's a four-bedroom apartment, a little bit bigger than Jungkook's but it shared a pretty similar vibe. And you were in love of every space on it. Specially the living room, it was big, with a modern marble fireplace - yes, a fireplace - and had a large window with beautiful views of the city. It was an amazing part of the apartment where you liked to spend most of your time in.

After giving him a tour for every single room, you finished in your bedroom with the huge en-suite bathroom.

"The shower is pretty big" you suddenly said, giving Jungkook a sheepish grin.

He smiled too. He knew what you were hinting on. The first time you slept together he had teased you saying that whenever you moved in together you would need a bigger shower. Another thing he missed about you. Your constant teasing. "Mmh, not so sure about that, maybe we should try it out." 

"Oh, I actually tried it with Chris and Irene" you responded with the most natural tone.

"Huh?" says immediately Jungkook with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah, the first time I came to see the apartment they came with me and we tried it, Irene was like 'OMG this shower fits like four people' and she made us all - including the real estate agent - get inside the shower just to prove her point" you chuckled while reminiscing on that day and thinking how fools you've must look when you all were inside the shower.

"OHHHHHHHHHHH" Jungkook says as if he finally understands what you're talking about. What was he thinking you were talking about?

"Oh my God!" you exclaim giving him a punch on his arm "Jungkook did you think that I had a threesome in the shower with my best friend and his girlfriend? Are you out of your freakin’ mind?!"

You are both laughing nonstop until he says "Sorry! It's just that the way you said it, it sounded so bad."

"Such a dirty mind you have in that pretty little head of yours" you say shaking your head and still giggling.

"When it comes to you, yeah. It kinda ends up always in that same part of my brain" he said smirking and making you blush.

"Stop it!" you say as you start walking towards your living room with him following your steps behind and still laughing. 

Afterwards, you shared a few drinks and talked about random things, as always. It felt good. Like old times. But in the end when the night came, he had to go home, and you were left all alone in your apartment.

You were now laying on your bed, with your eyes on the high ceiling. You could hear a storm unraveling on the outside. As it was starting to rain, you felt the urgent need to talk with your dad. 

"I saw him a few hours ago but I still miss him a lot, dad. I miss us. But I'm not sure what to do. I wish you were here to help me; you always said the right words" you say as a sigh follows your words.

Suddenly a box that was on top of the closet falls, scattering on the floor all the things that were inside of it.

You had seen that box too close to the edge of the closet a few days ago but you were too lazy to grab a chair and move it to a proper place where it couldn't fall.

"Fuck. I knew it was a matter of time for that to fall" you whispered as you got up to gather it.

When you started gathering everything, your attention gets caught instantly to certain picture. You pick it up and can't help to smile at the sight in front of you. 

It was your first picture with Jungkook. The one he took when you went for a hike when you were staying at Hobi parents’ cottage. And it hits you like the lightning that you just heard from the outside.

You want him. You love him.

"I got your message, thank you dad" you say looking up and quickly getting out of your apartment without thinking for a second. 

You ring the bell of the apartment once. A few seconds after, Jungkook opens the door and as he sees you standing in front of him, his face lights up with a huge and welcoming smile on his face until suddenly he realizes you are soaked and his eyebrows furrow as he looks at you with worried eyes.

"Bab- Y/N are you okay? You shouldn't be outside with this storm. You're soaking wet."

"Oh" you mumble and chuckle while looking down to your clothes "Yeah, I forgot to bring an umbrella."

"Did something happen?" he asks quickly.

Yes. I love you. You were right. We are end-game. I'm sorry it took me all this long to accept it. I was scared. That's what was going through your mind, but you didn't say anything.

You shake your head, and your body moves on its own going straight into hugging him, enveloping his huge body to yours "Please, hold me" you simply say, and it doesn't take him more than one second to hug you back tightly.

With your nose pressed against his chest, you notice his shirt smells just like him, his favorite fabric softener, and that amazing cologne he always wears. That Jungkook scent, the one he always holds, the one that smells like home. 

"Kook," you murmur while you look up to his doe eyes, "Can we please talk?"

"Of course, Y/N" he gives you a small grin as he drags you inside his apartment "Come with me. I still have some of your clothes in my closet, you should change the ones that you have now, you'll catch a cold if you don't." he says, a worry flashing in his eyes as you just nod and follow him.

A few minutes later you were already changed into one of your summer dresses, you didn't even remember that you had left it here. Sitting on his sofa, right next to each other, he decides to speak first.

"So…what do you want to talk about?" he asks lowly as you suck in breath, heart racing against your chest.

Being able to see and talk to each other these last two months, for a moment it had made too easy to believe this chapter with Jungkook was closed when nothing was forcing you to read it. But now it was too late to pretend everything was fine. It wasn't. You couldn't be his friend. You didn't want to be his friend. You needed more.

"You were right, in the end. About you and me, we should be together, we—" you caught yourself, your heart heavy. "I cannot do this anymore; I can't pretend that I'm okay. I don't want to be without you. Since that day when we broke up, when I broke up- I've been trying to convince myself that it was the right thing to do, that I didn't love you anymore, but I can't keep lying to myself or to you."

His eyes looking straight to yours. Sparkling with hope and so much love. His eyes always tell so much.

It was the first time you'd brought up your break-up fight in the past four months. It had been ugly, and shameful for you. You never screamed at each other before that day, but the events unleashed by Ethan and Lina plus Jungkook's lack of confidence, turned into the biggest fight you had. Coming to think about it, that day you both did things you weren't happy about. And you, unlike Jungkook, you hadn't apologized not even once to him.

This was your opportunity to both heal and move on from the past. If you had a slight chance to build up again your relationship, having a sincere talk with him was the best way to start.

"Y/N, I..." He hesitated for a second, but when he spoke again, he sounded more self-assured. "I was wrong back then. I'm sorry."

"I'm so sorry, too, Jungkook, I..." you said looking down and remembering your actions that day you felt ashamed of yourself "I never actually apologized for slapping you on the face that day and-"

"No. I mean, yes, we both—but I—" He cleared his throat. "I should have supported you. And I should have apologized before the wedding, I should have gone to Chris' hyung apartment and talk to you but I feared it would be unwelcomed. I know I said this before, but I'll say it again and as much times as it's needed. I'm sorry, Y/N. I really am."

You could feel the weight of his gaze on you, but you didn't move. You hadn't realized how much you'd needed having this talk with him. Even if he had already apologized on the wedding. Even that being totally honest, after the break-up, you couldn't stay resentful for long. You'd forgiven him long ago. But hearing him admit his faults was still a relief. Somehow it gave you reassurance.

"Thank you, Kook." You offered him a soft smile. 

"You know, for a moment, I thought that you would hate me forever for how I treated you that day, I was so afraid of you hating me, but you are such an angel-" His voice broke. He scratched the back of his head, then went on sighing. "I should have been there for you, Y/N."

The regret in his voice was painful. It sent your mind flying in all directions, down all of those roads you never dared to tread. You'd always been good at reading him when you wanted to. For the last few months, you'd refused to. But just then... just then, his walls were down. It was impossible not to see... not to wish...

Right then, seeing him this vulnerable you realized, you were tired of hiding your feelings.

"I still regret pushing you away" you said voicing out your thoughts once again.

This, Jungkook could find a way around. He could tell you it was fine and that you'd done nothing wrong. He could pretend he didn't understand that you were still deeply, shamefully in love with him. But his breath caught, and for a long second, he said nothing.

"Do you...?" He bit his lip. Your heart was pounding so hard you were sure Jungkook could hear it. "I never stopped loving you, Y/N. I... You know this... If you want, that is, I want to... I want to give us another chance. It doesn't have to be now, if it's not the right time. It can be... if you need more time..."

Jungkook trailed off and looked away. The blush on his cheeks had deepened. He seemed so angry at himself for his embarrassment that your already heightened senses were sent into overdrive. There he was, telling you what you'd been wishing to hear again, and absolutely being himself while at it. So unapologetically himself, too, that you could have never even resisted even if you'd wanted to.

"I don't need more time" you finally said.

That was enough for Jungkook. His shoulders fell in relief as a smile lit up his face. You could've sworn he outshone the sun. It made you smile, too, but then a small, nervous laugh escaped you.

"This is not what I had in mind when I came over," you admitted.

"What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know. I left my apartment feeling like I was going insane, and you could always keep me from spiraling too deep. I just... I needed to be with you."

Your words struck Jungkook. He shifted, taken aback, his mouth open far before any words could come out.

"I don't want to spend another day without you," he finally said. “I know who I want to be. And I hope -” He takes in a breath, eyes shining with hope and sorrow and everything in between. “- I hope you’ll be there with me.”

You swallowed. There was that awkwardness about him, that feeling of not knowing what to do with his hands, or with himself sometimes... it emboldened you. Jungkook didn't want to force contact on you when you were so upset, but his unsure stance told you that he wanted it as much as you did. With this in mind, you didn't hesitate in scooting closer to him.

Jungkook's arms were wrapped around you in an instant. Everything that was weighing down on you no longer felt so heavy. You let your head fall on his shoulder, breathing him in, and the tears you didn't know you'd been holding back were now flowing freely. He didn't pay it any mind until your stilted breathing gave you away, and he pulled back to look at you.

"No, no, don't cry" he said with worried look while running his thumb over your cheek.

"I'm sorry." you said, wiping your eyes, smiling in a way you knew to be unconvincing. "It's just been... too much."

"It's alright." He gave you a little peck on your forehead while his hands had dropped to your waist, refusing to let go of you. "Feeling better?"

You nodded and leaned back into his arms. Just like that, it was like no time had passed between you two. The closeness, the intimacy, it all came back to you with alarming speed. You're so ready to seize this moment once and for all.

"I can't believe it's been four months" you said.

"I know. It feels like forever."

"In a way, yes... but it feels like nothing changed at all."

"It did," he contradicted you with confidence. "We've grown. We've learned. Specially me. This time, I know how to make this work."

"No screaming, then. Or doubting each other" you stated firmly.

Jungkook laughed softly, sending chills down your spine.

"It's a promise."

You stayed like that for a few more seconds, enjoying the closeness. But you wanted more. Jungkook's arms were safe, he was so warm, and he smelled so good that you couldn't stop yourself. You only had to raise yourself a little to get yourself a kiss - so you did.

Your lips found his without trouble, and your heart exploded when he immediately kissed you back, as if he had been expecting, hoping for this already. He was tender, but intense, just as you remembered. It felt like home. You'd missed him so much, too much, and it was driving you insane even as you didn't have to long for him anymore.

He cups your face in gentle manner, tucking a strand of hair behind your hair. "I love you so much, Y/N" he tells you. His beautiful Bambi eyes hypnotizing yours.

"I love you too, Kook" you softly respond, his smile growing wider as ever as you lean in kissing him once again.

Having his soft, pliant lips against yours was igniting a fire within you. Your kisses grew desperate, bold in their familiarity. Your hands were no longer cautious. You were tangled in his hair, traveling up and down his back, and Jungkook was pressing you against him with a resolve that almost took you aback. It was impossible to miss how Jungkook's body was reacting to this kiss. He'd always been easy to ignite, but you hadn't expected to be thrown back into that whirlwind so quickly and you weren't expecting to crave it so desperately.

His teeth dragged on your lip, maddeningly restrained. At the same time, his hand dropped down, brushing your bare knee. The contact against your skin made you gasp, and his hand, stayed there for a second before going back to your waist. No. You couldn't have that. His featherlight touch had made you wish that his long fingers would trace their way up your leg, straight to where you were starting to burn. And that's how you knew that you were too far gone. You weren't supposed to want reconciliation sex with your ex-boyfriend. You weren't supposed to moan so wantonly between kisses and brazenly open your legs for him, silently begging him to slip his hands under your dress and inside —

 Jungkook froze. For a split second, you feared you'd gone too far, too fast... but he was disheveled, eyes blazing, voice hoarse and tense.

"Are you sure about this, baby?"

That freaking petname. Dear God.

Right then, when you were so full of raw emotion and pent-up desire, denying yourself was not an option. You wanted Jungkook all around you, and you wanted not to feel this heartache anymore.

"Yes. Please."

That was all the encouragement Jungkook needed. His hand went up your leg exactly the way you wanted it too, hot and heavy and leaving a trail of fire. His mouth was now on your neck, nipping and sucking on your blazing skin just carefully enough not to bruise you, even though you didn't care, you just wanted all of him. You let out a whimper when his fingers finally reached between your legs, above the fabric of your lacy underwear. You moaned, encouraging, dropping your hands and twisting around so you could open your legs wider.

He was looking at you intently, no doubt absorbing the sinful image you presented. He reveled in your whimpers every time he pressed or caressed just the right spot - but he never stayed there for long, and the fabric between you two was only making you more desperate.

"You're so beautiful, so, so beautiful" he said.

But before you could answer, he was in contact with your hot, wet skin. His eyes widened, and even you were surprised at how easily his fingers slipped around, making you gasp, your body shocked awake. Fuck. You were so ready. You had been ready for all these months without him. And Jungkook... Jungkook was absolutely gorgeous. He always had that piercing look in his eyes that never failed to make your legs feel weak, but right then, with his cheeks flushed, his lips slightly parted, he looked obscenely divine.

After running his finger lazily up and down a few times, he slowly pushed it inside you. You were holding your breath, trying to hold on to every single second of this - but once inside you, he curled his finger just so you cried in delight, and then again when his thumb pressed on your clit, working you in a slow rhythm that was threatening to drive you insane. His other arm was around your shoulders, giving them both balance and pulling you closer to him so he could go back to kissing your neck. The steady pace was sending you one jolt of pleasure after another up and down your spine, finding place in your belly and curling up onto itself, more tense with each passing second.

But Jungkook had other plans. He removed his hand, but you didn't have time to protest before he knelt in the floor in front of you, a questioning look in his eye. You nodded without thinking, and his grin widened into a hungry expression that made your throat tighten. You wanted it so, so badly. Since the breakup, more than once you'd tried to imagine how Jungkook's tongue would feel again as it brushed against your most sensitive areas, and every time, you'd blushed and pushed the thought away.

There was no need for that now.

While you got used to the idea, Jungkook yanked down your underwear. It was the hottest thing you'd ever seen - Jungkook, down on his knees, his face between your legs and eager to please, always. You watched in awe as his tongue reached out tentatively, barely touching your already stimulated clit. You squirmed. He did it again, this time more slowly and firmly.  Oh, how you missed this. This felt good. Too damn good. His smug, glinting eyes were locked on yours, as he kissed all around your most sensitive areas, everywhere except where you needed him the most. He teased your exposed skin as if he had all the time in the world. It felt like heaven, but he was still refusing to give you the relief you—

The air was forced out of your lungs when Jungkook's lips latched onto your clit, sucking it with the same sort of leisurely care he'd been giving you so far. Fuck. It was nothing like you'd imagined these past months and everything you'd wanted. You couldn't keep up. His tongue and lips were doing wonders, sucking, licking faster, and faster, until you were a gasping, moaning mess, grabbing locks of his hair and pulling him closer against you.

Without warning, he buried a finger inside you. Your head fell back, eyes closed shut. This overstimulation short-circuited your senses and sent your whole world spinning. Jungkook didn't slow down, didn't let up, and once again you found yourself reaching for paradise, hoping for release from this delicious torture.

"Jungkook..." you breathed out. "Jungkook, please..."

That's when he stopped. Your eyes flew open.

You knew his game. Jungkook had always loved bringing you to the brink of an orgasm and no further time and time again, until you were sufficiently wound up and could no longer keep a hold on yourself. You'd always trusted him to deliver, so you only sighed in frustration, a frustration that was short-lived as you watched him wipe his mouth with his sleeve. Your heart stopped. Fuck, that was hot. All you wanted was to push him to the floor and ride him to oblivion right then and there.

Jungkook, however, always put up a fight. He always had a trick up his sleeve. He stood up, his arms now underneath you and lifting you from the sofa. He carried you bridal style the few steps that separated the living room from his bedroom. As you reached his bed, he didn't quite lay you down, but didn't quite let you fall - somewhere between gentle and desperate, considerate and wild, and the second you touched down he was already on top of you, kissing you fiercely, his hands all over your body, trying to reach as much as he could.

You were reeling. Jungkook's weight on you was numbing your good sense. You wanted to touch his naked body and feel his burning skin pressed against yours so badly that your hands found themselves under his clothes on their own accord, sliding up and down his back, grabbing his ass, pressing him firmly against yours, pulling, tugging on the fabric as if that would make it come off.

Jungkook's kisses grew hotter, deeper, until he broke apart for a second. You were hypnotized by the sight of him sitting up and taking off his shirt. You let your fingers catch on his waistband and pull down resolutely. Jungkook shifted to allow you to take off his pants, but you were greedier than that, hooking your fingers on his underwear as well. Everything came off, and just like that, Jungkook was stark naked on top of you.

You were gaping. Jungkook's arms were defined and his chest strong. He was fully erect, clearly yearning to take you, and your need was so overpowering that you almost missed the ravenous look in his eyes. And you couldn't handle it. You slid one of your hands against his chest and your other hand found him, hard and ready, and you were starting to return the pleasure he'd just granted you, when he pulled away carefully, as if it cost him his life. His voice was dangerously uneven when he spoke.

"I want you, Y/N. Now."

He didn't need to say it twice. You felt yourself almost aching with anticipation as he positioned himself between your legs... but he didn't enter you. He was instead grinding against you, basking in just how wet you were for him, this friction seemingly enough for him. You gave him a pleading look that made him smirk.

"You're not playing fair." He spoke. His hands slid up your legs, grabbed your ass, then continued their way up under your dress. He was lifting the fabric as he went, still rolling his hips against yours when he reached your breasts, at which point you had to lift yourself up to allow him to pull your dress off. His arms caught you on your way back down, his long fingers finding the clasp of your bra and undoing it in an instant.

Only then did you lay back down, this last piece of cloth disposed of as you did. He tossed it aside, never taking his eyes off of you.

"Much better."

You had to agree. After all this teasing, your nipples were reacting to the slight change of temperature and the feeling of freedom. Jungkook brushed his fingers against them, sending chills down your spine. Then he squeezed them softly before leaning down to catch a hard nipple in his mouth. You let out a surprised breath. Jungkook's warm tongue drew circles on your skin, his teeth dragging gently against it, alternating this attention between your breasts. And then he was grinding faster, still outside you, his breath heavy with pleasure against your sensitive skin. You couldn't take it. Your muscles were itching for relief and this throbbing emptiness was almost painful.

"I thought you wanted me now," you complained between moans. You were in paradise, but your body still screamed for him. This was not enough. It was maddening.

"And I'm having you, am I not?" Jungkook barely lifted his head as he said this. Your head rolled back when his mouth found your nipple again, this time sucking hard.

Now you were moving too.

"Jungkook, please... I want... I need..."

And then, only then, then he pushed in.

He went in slowly, allowing for the long-forgotten sensation of fullness to wash over you. It was almost enough to make you finish. You were expecting some discomfort after all this time, but your body was too worked up, so you wrapped your legs around him to pull him deeper into you without care. You both gasped. You could almost, almost taste the kind of pleasure that you needed. You rolled your hips once, twice, making him shudder.

"Fuck, Y/N..."

He shifted, leaning back to kneel between your legs, the sudden movement sending a wave of pleasure through you. Your ankles locked behind his back as he started moving, his thrusts shallow and tentative at first, but he gradually pushed longer and harder until you felt him just right, just in the precise way that made you lose control of yourself.

"T-there."

And then it was chaos, and bliss, and everything you had been so desperately craving. Jungkook was moving inside you with a delirious abandon that paralyzed you, the pleasure spreading to every inch of her body. You were being stretched and fulfilled and spread thin, and your control over your actions was slipping away fast. Jungkook was grabbing your legs, clutching you as his own pleasure grew. You wanted to touch him, too, so you reached for him. However, he wouldn't come to you, so you tightened the hold of your legs.

"Come here," you panted.

"I want to see you." His hoarse voice, also tinged with pleasure, only made you more desperate.

"I want���" The thought was disjointed. What did you want?

More. You just wanted more.

"Please, Y/N."

You couldn't deny him anything, so watch you he did. Sweat covered your body, your face felt hot, and your breasts bounced in time with his thrusts. There was no point in feeling self-conscious around Jungkook. Instead, you felt wanted, desired, needed, and it only made your own lust grow tenfold. He was also a glorious sight, his dark hair in disarray and his muscles flexing with the exertion.

This was too much, not enough, and the tension inside you was both growing and begging for freedom. Your legs fell to the bed, open as wide as you could, allowing you to touch yourself without shame. His hand quickly replaced yours, circling your clit in time with his thrusts. Jungkook was going in deeper now that he could move more freely, hitting that sweet spot within you again, and again, and again, with enough power to make you scream for him.

"You said no screaming...?" he said breathlessly in a teasing tone.

Incoherent sounds were being drawn out of you, and it was hard to answer among them.

"Idiot."

And the cheeky grin he gave you in return was everything. It was all you could do not to come undone then and there, the sensations hitting you one after another too fast to process. You were rushing towards your breaking point, and you could focus on little else beyond it. Your eyes clamped shut. You were all rapture and burning skin and he sensed it, his pace quick, wild, constant, his fingers also working on you without reprieve. All you could do was whimper, grab the bed sheets tight in your fists, and beg for mercy.

"Jungkook..." You were repeating his name, over and over. It was the only thing you knew. It was the only thing you wanted to know. "Jungkook, I'm..."

You screamed. Your body flared up in an orgasm so long-awaited, earth-shattering and mind-numbing that it hurt. Electrifying waves of pleasure took over your body, and you were pulsing, trembling, screaming, out of breath and gratified beyond all reason. Your muscles contracted firmly around him, heightening your pleasure and making him throw his head back in ecstasy.

Jungkook slowed down as you came, but once your body relaxed, he started pounding into you and pinching your clit more fiercely than before. You didn't have time to recover. You were being wound tighter again all at once, as if the coil within you had never subsided. You couldn't do anything other than enjoy the sight and let him do your in, until he pulled out so swiftly that you were thrown over the edge a second time. 

He looked at you, his gaze telling tomes of his plans to pleasure you until you pleaded him to stop. You broke the eye contact to look at his cock that was throbbing against your thigh.

"You like what you see?" he smirked, clearly full of himself and the way you gasped at his cock as if it was your first time seeing it. Before you could respond, he kissed you full on the mouth, his tongue slipping through your lips as he did so. You could still taste yourself on his lips, mixed with that taste of him that you could never quite forget since that night he first kissed you.

His lips pressed against your neck the moment his thick cock managed to enter you once again. You gasped, your fingers wrapping around his arms tightly as he nestled himself deep within you, the head kissing the entrance to your womb. Sparks of pleasure ran through your body. Your eyes widened; it just felt like you were thrust into a brave new world, where everything you had ever known ceased to mean what they used to.

He stilled himself for a moment, as if he was allowing you to adjust to the sheer size of him before he went any further. Your eyes fluttered closed as you started to feel like everything you had ever done led up to him, in this moment. Your lips parted in a voiceless moan as you gripped his arms tighter, your fingers sinking into his flesh.

"Oh baby," he whispered in your ear, his voice almost sounding like a moan as he brought his hand to your face to cup your cheek. "Please look at me..."

You opened your eyes, and he gave you that sweet, warm smile as if you had never grown apart. You couldn't help but smile back, finally realising that this was what you were missing out on all this time: a serene, placid love that accepted you for who you are despite your faults, despite everything you've lacked and viceversa.

His hips started moving again, sharp thrusts drawing hushed moans from you as you gripped his shoulders this time, eyes intent to keep their gaze on his. Your hands roamed downwards: down his back, his waist, his hips until you grabbed his tight bum.

You gave him a mischievous smile, and pressed his forehead against yours, laughing a breathy chuckle.

"You're such a naughty girl, baby," he said, his tone coloured with a playful warning as his hands cradled the sides of your face. "We're flipping."

Before you knew it, your back was pressed against his chest. Your limbs were sprawled out under you to support yourself on all fours, however any effort you made to hold yourself up was practically made useless by Jungkook's arm, which wrapped around your waist and pulled you even closer to him as his other arm held you both up.

Jungkook started thrusting again, wilder this time as his cock nudged deeper and deeper against your womb, grinding against spots you never even knew existed. He placed wet kisses all over your shoulders and the crook of your neck, stopping there for a moment as he nuzzled you there.

He stuck his neck out to look at you, hoping to see what you looked like as his cock pushed repeatedly into your depths. With your eyes closed shut as the pleasure overwhelmed you, you couldn't see how captivated he was as he gazed upon your face contorted ecstasy. An errant thrust went deeper than it should have, and you bit down on your lip to stop a loud moan from escaping,

"I wanna hear your pretty little moans again, don't hold back" he whispered in your ear, his deep voice almost sounding like a growling din as he accentuated his last word with a deep thrust back to the depths of your cunt. You couldn't take it anymore; you screamed to the high heavens, and he let out a breathy chuckle, evidently happy with himself and the way he could make you scream.

His fingers found their way around your breast again, toying with your nipple as he suckled on your ear, and you knew that you were going to come undone soon. Your cunt clenched around his cock, and he groaned as his hips jerked harder, faster against you.

"I know you're c-close, baby. I- I'm close too," he moaned, his thrusts speeding up as he became desperate to push you over the edge. "C-cum for me, gorgeous" Jungkook whispered, gripping you even closer to him.

With his last words, you gave in, your cunt spasming wildly around his cock as you threw your head back, another orgasm tearing through you as you screamed his name. The sound of his name coming from your lips pushed him over the edge, his arms holding tightly onto you as his cum spurted deep inside you. He moaned your name, and you felt another surge of pleasure come over you until everything faded to black.

For that instant, time stood still, and nothing was wrong with the world.

You were both sweating, gasping for air, thoroughly satisfied and drunk with pure joy. You were only aware of Jungkook moving away, reaching toward his nightstand's drawer to pull out wet wipes. You couldn't stop thinking how beautiful he is, how lucky you are to be with him here, once again.

This was Jungkook. Your Jungkook. The one you'd been yearning for, and you were never going to let go of again.

"What is it?" he asked curiously, seeing that you were spacing out. You took him in, his hair messy and humid from the sweat, his skin almost shimmering. Being that stunning should be illegal.

"Nothing," you answered truthfully. "I'm just so happy."

"I'm really happy too, baby."

Jungkook offered you a sweet smile and gave you a little peck on the lips, then walked away to throw the wipes in the nearest trash can. This gave you a full view of his perfect body. After what you'd just done, you would've hoped your desires would've gone back to where you kept them locked up - but there they were, alive and present, and if you had to be honest with yourself, you were ready for this new normal.

This new normal was better than the old normal, where you had to endure your pain with your aching heart alone. Everything was easier when Jungkook was next to you. It hadn't escaped you notice that tonight he'd barely let you touch him, at least not as much as he touched you. He'd been focused on you, wanting to make you feel the best that he could... It was a good thing, then, that you knew for a fact there would be a next time.

Jungkook caught you staring again, but you didn't look away. He just stood there for a second, seeming puzzled at your expression, then asked,

"You don't... you don't regret this, do you, noona?"

"Not at all," you answered quickly. "Do you?"

Jungkook came back to you, lying down and wrapping his arms around you. That was all the response he was going to offer, and that was all you needed. You adjusted your position to be able to hold him too and kissed him. He responded in kind, his lips soft and tender. His body against yours was like an oasis in the desert. All you wanted was to live in the sheer bliss of this moment for as long as you could. You were together. That's all that mattered. This way, you could pull through anything.

But the moment was over eventually. Jungkook broke the kiss, touching his forehead against yours, and gave you his boldest grin.

"So... what do you say you give us another chance?"

Your smile was the brightest he ever saw. There wasn't even a need to respond. He already knew your answer was without a doubt 'Yes.'

Something warm pressed itself against your forehead, waking you up. You turned around to find that it was Jungkook, his arm wrapped you as he smiled at you. Everything that had happened rushed back to your half-asleep brain, and you remembered blacking out wrapped in his arms.

"Did you sleep?" you asked him, sitting up as you looked around. In the night, he had clothed your torso with his shirt while he had remained bare chested. Show off.

He shook his head, sitting up with you to fold you up into his arms.

"I couldn't sleep. I was afraid you'd get away from me again," he admitted, looking down to hide his wistful eyes from yours.

Moving quickly, you freed yourself from his arms and straddled his lap, taking him by surprise as you cupped his face and kissed him, the passion of last night resurrecting with a passion.

You broke the kiss and looked at him with compassion. "I'm not going anywhere, Kook."

His smile broke out into a full grin, and his strong arms pulled you down so that your head lay down on his chest again. He held on to you, eyes tearing up with joy as he finally had what he had always sought to have.

"Except..." you uttered, and the grin on on his face turned into parted lips, waiting with a sense of dread for your next words.

"Now that the sun is up, and the storm is over... would you like to go over to Chris' birthday party get-away with me?"

Oh. Right. Chris' birthday is this weekend. Jungkook had already forgotten that Chris had rented a place in Gangneung for you to celebrate with him.

"Yes, yes!" he exclaimed, scrunching his nose with that bunny smile you adore, his heart swelling with relief and joy. "We should go to your place though to pick up your stuff for the weekend."

"Well then, let's get going! Let's re-introduce us to the world, my handsome bunny," you replied, a gentle smile forming on your face as a beautiful future you had once thought of imagining with him began to unfold.

You both scrambled to your feet, as you clothed yourselves and got ready to leave.

He looked at you with so much pride, as if you were the one to be shown to world with rekindled hope. You locked your arm into his as you walked to his car, taking a moment to sink in everything that happened in the last few hours.

You were finally together, as JK had always wanted. He was right; you were meant to be in each other's lives. Giving it much thought, you realized that you still wanted the same things that you used to, except now you wanted his hand in yours each step of the way. Try as you might, you just couldn't escape him. But in his arms, you never felt more free, and you never felt more loved.

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[kob131]

Lily Orchard and Pokemon: Gen 2

Gen 1

"How did GF manage to fit all of this into a Gameboy? Simple, they had Satoru Iwata do it!"

False.

Satoru Iwata's contributions were him writing a formula to help cut fractions of a second off the numerous load times in the game, like with trainer battles, wild Pokemon and probably stuff like loading in cities. The real reason why Kanto made it was because, quite simply- they had double the space.

Kind of goes to show how much of a basic Pokemon fan Lily is, considering people slightly more informed like me found this out. A limited view that goes onto explaining some of her questionable points, like the Psychic type not being that busted.

But hey, at least it's not offensive terri-

"The games start becoming more directed and firm in their pacing!"

... Really? Now of all times you bring up that idea?

That doesn't even work here. Gold and Silver's tutorial opening may take a few minutes more due to having to go farther and slightly more text but that's likely because GSC has an actual plot and characters to set up. You know, stuff that someone who cares more about the main gameplay rather than features would probably like as it engages the brain more?

I get that Lily doesn't like Pokemon's stories but this stuff isn't very much and it helps make the game more memorable and engaging.

... You know, I honestly thought the follow up would have been worse.

"Silver is an uninteresting rival! He's just edgy and a punk bitch who slags everyone off while getting beat up! He's just an ignorant loser, like Hop!"

Like that. So much worse like that.

A- Silver isn't just an edgy and arrogant kid. He starts this way but becomes better over time, developing from being beaten by Lance and the player so much. Compare his line in his second fight in Azalea Town-

"I hate the weak. Pokémon, Trainers. It doesn't matter who or what. I hate to see them hanging around. That goes for Team Rocket, too. They think they are big and tough as long as they are in a group. But get them alone, and they're weak. I hate them all. You stay out of my way. You won't be an exception if you get in my way."

To his final line.

"…Oh, no… I still can't win after all that training… I…I have to believe more in my Pokémon… …No big deal. Sorry to have got in the way. Don't forget to rest your Pokémon before you challenge the Champion!"

In fact, Silver is the FIRST rival to actually react properly to being constantly beaten by the player, much like Hop.

B- Does Lily's complaints sound...familiar to anyone? As if these complaints do in fact fit a Pokemon Rival...but not Silver?

It should- This applies to BLUE, not Silver. Since, by necessity, Blue WILL lose more to the player than win. And yet he will always brush off his losses and act superior even as the game.

In fact, take his loss line in Oak's Lab-

"WHAT? Unbelievable! I picked the wrong Pokémon!"

To his loss line at the Pokemon League as Champion.

"NO! That can't be! You beat my best! After all that work to become League champ? My reign is over already? It's not fair!"

Lily's point about Blue before and why she liked him kind of contradicts her slagging off Silver...for the same shit Blue pulls but without the context that he's SUPPOSED to be wrong.

"Falkner's gym was kind of a pushover. yeah I nearly fainted but I didn't lose-"

You almost lost. ...To Falknier Lily.

Falkner...regarded as being one of the top 10 easiest Gym Leaders in Pokemon. ... How did you look at that and not go 'Damn, maybe I should change my strats.'

Like, this WILL undercut any points about Pokemon's gameplay and difficulty because it's coming from someone who nearly lost to FALKNER. A guy I beat at age 7.

"Team Rocket's so pathetic in Gen 2. In Gen 1, they were a legit criminal orgnazation and fun but now they're just pathetic."

And here's the problem that's likely gonna rear its ugly head in any Gen with half a story: Lily's not paying attention. Team Rocket is MEANT to be pathetic and lost without Giovanni. Because they are clinging to the past and refusing to move on with their lives even as the world does so. This gets hammered home pretty hard given the changes to the world introduced in Gen 2, like Lance becoming the Champion or through characters like Silver letting his daddy issues define him.

That's the point Lily. Complaining that they're boring because they've changed from before in order to fit a new story isn't analysis, it's just you mouthing off.

"Hey, isn't it funny that I tried using Mud-Slap twice in a row even though it didn't fucking work the first time and almost got wiped by Bugsy? I'm such a bimbo!"

Funny yes but more in a 'public humiliation' way. Joking about almost being beaten by a children's game does not make it better: you're still claiming to analyze these games.

"SILVER WORST RIVAL EVAR! BLUE GOOD BECAUSE FRIENDLY AND DYNAMIC! SILVER BAD BECAUSE ANNOTING! HE NO CHANGE UNLESS YOU LOOK! YOU LIKE EMOS!"

That or Silver is well liked because he was the first rival to have an actual arc in the games. It isn't optional either, Silver starts to realize he was wrong in his Victory Road fight, which is mandatory. And it's a logical progress from losing to the player and Lance, reinforced by the sage from Sprout Tower. As much as you bitch about the games' stories being invasive, Silver is an example of the game showcasing a natural progression in character without using a thousand words.

Meanwhile, Blue is the one slagging you off after every fight even as you have to beat him and then proceeding to throw a fit when he loses.

You don't pay attention Lily.

"Silber and Hop are fundamentally the same character!"

So...your point is that Silver is fundamentally the same...as one of the best rivals in the series?

Not the own you think it is.

I mean, she's correct since what Hop does in SWSH is just a more detailed, expressive and in depth version of what Silver does just more on the softer end. But Lily's too blinded to see it.

"Imma go ahead and ignore all the daily events in Goldenrod because WoW!"

Again, Lily telling on herself on how badly she's handling this video. The past 30 minutes could have been compressed down to 8 and nothing of value would be lost. Hell, cutting out Lily's reasonings and leaving people to insert their own explanations would actually make the video better.

Not a good sign.

"Johto's level curve isn't a problem! You can just go rematch trainers, it's intended! These games weren't meant for internet reviewers focused on progress, they're focused on kids!"

Yeah, Lily?

That bit about kids PROVES the issue with Johto, not debunk it. Because a kid might explore the rematches- it's far more likely that the kid is gonna want to keep moving forward and see new things and not back track for the sake of refighting the same guys with lowsy teams and just as little EXP as the wild Pokemon.

A kid is also gonna wanna catch new Pokemon and try them out-And the new Pokemon just got KO'd because it was so underleveled it's general stats aren't enough to face the trainers ahead. Now the kid is probably just gonna stick to the starter, one or two Route 1 Pokemon, the Red Gyrados (which is at least somewhat appropriately leveled) and the legendary. Oops.

I could also talk about how a good level curve in Pokemon aids in the feeling of growing stronger while providing something stimulating to the player to engage them in story, making each victory feel like a logical progression due to previous one but I doubt Lily would even understand what I'm talking about.

"Why do all the gyms in this game have some kind of side-quest?!"

Story and worldbuilding to make the core gameplay more interesting and engaging. It shows that the Gym Leaders are people who interact with their community. It's something to supplement the core gameplay you're supposedly focusing on.

"Oh shit! Chuck's Gym requires the Strength HM!"

Hey Lily, remember when you were complaining about people bitching on about HMs? You think maybe shit like this, creating unnecessary roadblocks that require restricting a player's self-expression and choice, might just factor into their complaints.

*Lily uses a Butterfree's Psychic on a Primeape, knocks off only 40% of the Pokemon's HP*

You know, Lily. If you made a habit of questioning yourself and your opinions- now would be the time where you would think back to the statement about 'Butterfree not being considered good because no STAB is stupid because coverage!' and admit there might be a point. You can still use Butterfree while admitting it's something of a handicap.

If you're observant, you will also notice that Lily's team is slightly below Chuck's in Level and that she wins her fight using battle items instead of, I dunno- engaging in those rematches she said negated the criticisms of Johto's level curve to train up her Pokemon.

"Ugh! The level curve in Johto is so awfu-"

Wait.

Lily. Didn't you DEFEND the level curve in Johto or at least try debunking this idea behind the game not having enough EXP earlier by talking about the rematches, talking about kids just rematching as they go back to explore unlike Youtubers? Which you are now admitting is 'extremely inelegant and forces you to wait' which...debunks your own view?

... This is a DIRECT contradiction of your stance from before. This is why you question yourself: you find contradictions in that self reflection.

"Johto's distribution of Pokemon suck! You can't even catch Houndour, Misdreavus and Larvitar until the post game! It's shitty because if you like these Pokemon, you can't catch them! It doesn't make them more valuable- just less fun!"

God damn it.

1-Lily, gating Pokemon out is not inherently a bad idea. Locking say...the pseudo-legendary into near the end of the game isn't a bad idea. That way you can't just power level one Pokemon into one of the strongest possible.

2-I do agree with Lily on this instance though. Johto locking away three of their new families of Pokemon behind KANTO is fucking insane. But issue here is that Lily just says they're locked behind the post game and just ends there, without giving context to why this is a problem. So- I'll do her job FOR her.

Let's start with the weakest one- Houndour. You catch this Pokemon at Route 7 (between Celadon and Saffron) in Kanto at Night. Seems like a good placement, since Houndour's type (Fire/Dark) counters the two nearby Gyms (Erika and Sabrina). Problem.

Houndour is caught at a max level of 18. Sabrina and Erika's teams average Level 48 and 44 respectively. There's no Trainers on this route either. Same with Murkrow btw.

Larvitar you catch at MT. SILVER (aka WHERE RED IS) at Level 20...at a 9% catch rate...right before Red. And Larvitar is a pseudo-legendary btw, so it levels up SLOWER than normal. Similar to Misdreavus, except it CAN'T evolve to get better.

And it's not like there aren't better options. Umbreon can be gotten as early as Level 21 by the fourth Gym Badge to cover Dark. Growlithe and Vulpix at Level 13 on ROute 36 as soon as Whitney to cover Fire. Geodude as early as ROCK CAVE for Rock. And Ghastly as soon as Sprout Tower. And many of these Pokemon are or become better than their counterparts so you have NO incentive to switch out Pokemon in your likely finalized team for newer, likely weaker Pokemon that you need to train up.

This summarizes the issue with Johto- the Pokemon MADE for Johto don't get to shine and the level curve makes adding new Pokemon pretty fucking shitty.

"Only pathetic shits think Shinies have any value!"

Lily, you are comparing locking off new Pokemon to a post game where they can't be effective to...an aesthetic change.

Move on. Also we get it with the capitalist dig- You want a social system that would have killed you off long ago.

"It's wrong to lock off Pokemon! See, this difficulty ROM Hack has so many!"

Yeah, DIFFICULTY ROM HACK Lily. As in, a hack of an already finished game that ends up tweaking certain aspects to increase difficulty likely for experience, adult Pokemon players. But for the ACTUAL Pokemon games- they have to be built for the new, casual or more relaxed fans as well.

Shoving a bunch of Pokemon into a single route, dropping multiple encounter rates down as low as 5% just to cram in as many Pokemon as possible is just gonna tire those poeple out as they search for every Pokemon possible. Even I, someone who likes Pokemon fan games, don't really like it when they try cramming 15 Pokemon into one Route just to accommodate them all because it feels like a slog trying to get one specific Pokemon I like that likely isn't even good enough to justify this. I would like all Pokemon catchable in a game (hence why I like the DLCs- they let you catch everything they add) but it would require so much effort to actually do that it's not feasible for Pokemon's release schedule.

Also all those Pokemon are available because it's balance out the difficulty with variety and the ability to EV train early. Most people still don't know how EVs, IVs and Natures work Lily. Most people wouldn't like this level of difficulty. Case and point: SMT has far less complexity and thus can be understood more easily yet it's difficulty, despite being easier to adjust to, is a turn off by itself.

"Pokemon games should give you all this variety so you can make unique and varied teams each game!"

Really Lily? You think having a bunch of Pokemon available at the start will allow you to use varied teams every game?

Because in practice, due to players valuing efficency- They will likely centralize around six extremely good Pokemon that synergize together to steam roll through the game. Limiting Pokemon helps CREATE variety by gate keeping strong Pokemon until the challenge matches up with them while you use weaker Pokemon as they were given a chance. It's probably why you like Butterfree so much: You used Butterfree as a kid and blowed through the early game with it and got attached. This likely wouldn't have happened if you had access to, say, Scyther instead.

Also, kind of funny you go off about making varied and unique teams when A. You started this rant talking about the cruelty of gatekeeping Pokemon so people who love them can't use them (thus forcing them to use different Pokemon) and B. we already know from your earlier Butterfree rant that you're gonna be using the EXACT SAME TEAM in each game.

Practice what you preach.

"People talk up the newer villains like Cyrus and N and the bigger plots but they suck!"

Lily. You couldn't even get Blue right.

Your opinion on the story means nothing.

"Mahagony Gym makes you take the path that faces you against the most Gym Trainers and that's bad! But the Gym is like an endurance test and that's good!"

So the gym making you fight trainers rapidly before facing the boss is bad...while also being good because it's an endurance test?

Proofread your scripts.

"Ice Cave is great because there's barely any trainers and there's little to no random encounters!"

Look I get that random encounters are annoying when you can't control them and Trainers can be tedious if you wish to get to your destination but...come on Lily. Battling is the main gameplay loop.

"I beat Silver and he doubles down-"

"…I couldn't win… I gave it everything I had… What you possess, and what I lack… I'm beginning to understand what that dragon master said to me…"

He doesn't.

And that ends Lily's view of Johto. Yes, she doesn't tackle Kanto or Red. Pretty sure she hates playing post games. Probably why she bashes Gen 5 so much.

Now for Gen 3. Which she calls the one with 'her favorite characters, best story and most beautiful locales in the series.'

... And I really hate Gen 3. Yay...

[femmmie]

Do you take angst for your prompts? Just thinking of an ianthony fic but ian-centric that’s inspired by “I can do it with a broken heart” by taylor swift. Would really love a good/comfort ending!

As I said Anon, I love me some angst! Here ya go!

He's not coming back - Japhan2024 - Smosh [Archive of Our Own]

Slowly, it began to register with Ian.

"Cause I'm a real tough kid

I can handle my shit

They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it til you make it."

And I did

Lights, camera and smile

Even when you want to die

He said he'd love me all his life

But that life was too short

Breaking down I hit the floor

All the pieces of me shattered

As the crowd was chanting "MORE!"" - Taylor Swift

He's not coming back. At all.

"Ian? We, we want to tell you something."

Courtney and Shayne sat with Ian in his office at Defy.

"What's up?"

"Well, you might have noticed that me and Courtney hang out a lot together..." Shayne's smile had never been wider.

Oh god. Ian really tried to act surprised and happy at the news that Shayne and the only person left at Smosh he could confide in, Courtney, were now a couple.

Ian had developed a crush on Courtney shortly after Anthony left. They were funny, witty, knew when to change the subject. And they were always there for him when he needed them. Granted, those times had been in short supply the last couple of months.

"Congratulations you too, and thank you for telling me."

They all got up.

"I love you so much, Ian," Courtney said as they hugged him tightly."

Ian managed a tortured smile.

~

He's not coming back.

~

Ian watched in shock as people looted the Defy office. They were drinking, putting graffiti on the walls. He couldn't blame them too much, but it still kind of hurt. What would become of Smosh?

What would Anthony think about this?

They exchanged a short conversation, then it went silent again.

Ian buried himself in his work. Getting a buyer for Smosh to save it from being sold off for parts. Then he became the president and had Rhett and Link to talk to. It was great but not enough to get Ian out of his head.

~

Ian watched tv. His house was a mess. Nobody visited anyway, as they were in lockdown.

His phone rang.

Nerves shot through his system but it was for nothing. It was Spencer.

"Hey man," Ian picked up.

"Hey Ian, how are you doing?"

"I'm good, just chilling I guess."

"I just want to say it's really nice what you're doing for all of us. Keeping us on payroll. It's frankly the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. And I wanted to tell you thank you. We're cooking up all kinds of fun videos for Games."

"Aww, that's so nice! I'm glad, Spence. Take care."

Ian didn't feel like talking at all. He wanted to vanish, but he couldn't. He still had to be in videos every day and it was just so hard.

It was so hard without Anthony.

Anthony had always been there.

He opened his sixth beer of the evening.

~

They were back in the studio. It was better times for Smosh. It started to have an identity of its own.

They were shooting a meme reaction video.

"I guess the other guy left..." Shayne laughed his maniacal laugh at the meme. Everyone lost it. But Ian was close to tears.

"Are you okay?" Courtney asked empathetically.

"I'm fine," Ian managed to say.

The carefully constructed walls around Ian's feelings all came tumbling down. He remembered everything. His and Anthony's friendship deteriorating. Anthony becoming so unpredictable: hostile one moment, begging for connection the next. He hadn't trusted him anymore. How he regretted it now. He'd been so young and dumb. And now he didn't have his best friend anymore. It was like Ian's world shattered all over again.

After the shoot, Courtney came up to him.

"Hey, Ian, you alright there buddy?"

"I guess I am, Court. How are you and Shayne?"

"Better than ever." They smiled.

"I'm glad. I'm heading back home."

"Alright, take care okay? We all love you, you know that right?"

"I do. I think you're not too bad yourselves."

Courtney smiled. They truly were very pretty.

~

They stood on the balcony. Their mutual friends had left them to talk.

Ian had completely forgotten how gorgeous Anthony was. Damn. His features so lean, his smile so convincing. His eyes so dark and warm, hot even.

"It's a miracle you saved Smosh when Defy went under. I have to really thank you for that, Ian."

"It was all I had left- you know. Of our friendship."

"Ohh.." Anthony gave him a hug. "That's so sad but also so nice."

"Yeah." Ian smiled wide. He'd also forgotten how *nice* it was to be around Anthony. They got each other. There was an understanding, from knowing each other for so damn long. It was incredibly reassuring.

They stood there, watching the LA night sky.

"Anthony? What if- what if we bought back Smosh?"

"We look for love, no time for tears

Wasted water's all that is

And it don't make no flowers grow

Good things might come to those who wait

Not for those who wait too late

We gotta go for all we know

Just the two of us" - Grover Washington Jr.

[sillylittlelemon]

HELLO!! ok sorry I’m not sure if ur still doing match ups so u can just ignore this if u want but could I get a saiki k and a hazbin hotel matchup <33

- I’m a certified yapper and I will ramble on about my interests for hours

- Im a big people pleaser and I try my best to make everyone around me feel comfortable and appreciated

- I tend to tolerate toxic behaviour just to avoid abandonment

- Im a romcom enthusiast and a bit of a film buff

- I like loads of music and singers but lately I’ve been loving my bloody valentine , salvia palth , alex g and Tyler the creator.

- My love languages are probably acts of service and physical touch.

- My humour is kinda all over the place and Im a sucker for dad jokes and well thought out dirty jokes

- I’m a hopeless romantic and I would probably fall head over heels for anyone who shows the slightest amount of interest in me

Okay- i wasnt sure about your sexuality (or gender) so ill do short headcannons for two characters i think youd fit with (seperatly not poly)

Sorry to my other requests im working as i go- right now tumblr is a passion project so ive gotta feel like- i dunno 'the spark' to actually get it done, but i promiseim trying

ALSO just a warning to anyone who reads/requests saiki k stuff, its been a bit sincei watched the show and also i donthave anywhere ican watch it currently so characters areprobably atleast a little ooc

This chick-

(I make a vauge reference to a little spice in her part but nothing explicit or bad)

And this guy-

YES. I know they have totally different vibes but hear me out.

He gives such 'im a big tough guy, but please love me in secret and call me your favorite boy'

she gives such 'im a brat but im your brat and actually i just want love and attention because i look like i would have major mommy issues'

And i dunno it just works

He would def be a cuddle bug once the walls are down and yall have bonded more and your in private(read: MUST be in private bc bb boy is defensive and dont f with pda), i feel like hes the type to hold you on his chest and rub your back (yall are laying on his/your couch or bed) and when he thinks your asleep he starts murmuring under his breath about how he's so glad you got past his walls- about how it means so much to him that you put up with his bs. This def lead to you pretending to be asleep more often so you can hear in words how he really feels, because lets be honest, words dont always equal feelings, and sometimes (i.e most times) he doesnt say it how he means it.

Now HER on the other hand-

All. Over. You.

Like..

Lowkey her?

Shes just so happy to HAVE you, right? Like- soulmates or not, youre hers. She adores you. Worships the ground you walk on, praises you breathless in more ways than one. Shes so confident- like... even if she isnt ACTUALLY, she portrays it so well, and she Hypes. You. Up. 24/7, 365. No matter if youre short, tall, heavy, skinny, freckled, dark, pale, or anywhere in between. She is making sure everyone knows youre her girl (or boy or whatever but based on your sentence structure im guessing female?) [NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSE I SWEAR I JUST IMAGINED YOU BEING FEMALE?] -oh god im gunna get cancelled-

N-E-Ways

Same here but itll be just generally better bc im more caught up with this fandom lol

He is this

But he wants to be this so bad

Sir precious for my darling precious

And

His love lmao

Sir Precious is 100% angel material (take that sera you bitch 🤟😝) He's just.... precious. Lmao. We've seen how flustered he gets with Cherry and imagine that but like- in an ACTUAL relationship with pda and shit. Like- stuttering, panicking, but also completely soothed by the hand currently resting in his? So many conflicting emotions, y'knowwww... he might need a kiss to get his head straight? Or maybe two? Hmmm, no that didnt work- lets try three, third times a charm right? *cue pentious sly+nervous smile* Would 100% bury his face in your tits/chest (under much encouragement and reassurance even more now that his minions spill the tea that hes been talking in his sleep about this very moment)

-can we talk about the smooth bass in the finale?-

-poor husk, man was singing and smiling like his soul was free-

Why do i feel like this is right up her alley?

Onto Miss Bomb,

She's a lot more brash in her affections. Not afraid to tug you down to her level and suck your soul out through your lips. Def had an emo phase when she was alive (if shes not still in it) She just.. loves you. Like her and angel you guys bicker, but i feel like while youre bickering she has her chin resting on your chest/tits, staring up at you with the slyest smirk and biggest heart eyes known to demon AND man kind.

[wyvernscales]

Act 2 DATV thoughts. Spoilers:

Anaris is kinda…

I wasn’t really expecting a literal bloodbath

BELOVED XENON 💕

Dragon Age lOVES a good haunted house mystery

So wait, going into the fade fade is just normal now?

Hezzenkoss is kinda kunty

Are we finally getting into the Last Flight stuff?

Isseya????????

Anyone notice how Ghil doesn’t have eyes???

Elgar Zaddyyyy

Final forbidden one down

These circles are related to the executors I just knowww it

Manfred was naughty :(

The way I feel about refusing death is the way a Christian might describe a sin

ISSEYA???????

Not Bellara writing friendfiction

Nice little family dinner that went about as well as any of my family gatherings tbh

The Harding storyline is. Hmm. “The dwarves lost everything and the elves have it all” Which is. A hell of a take. Given the fact that I have another quest where Venatori are about to sacrifice an entire Dalish clan for their blood. 

I have nothing specific to say here. I just liked Lucanis’ fade quest

Damas’ va is plays someone else in the series, I just can’t remember who

ITS ISSEYAAAAAAAAAA

Yk, I’m kinda getting the Neve love now

The bird shit on the roofs of Antiva is a nice touch

GILF WIN!

God I love the way Assan is animated

Bossy Neve at the venatori party is kinda….

I still don’t get why the Venatori are openly working with the Evanuris tho. It would be one thing if they all thought they were actually working with the Old Gods, but they just say Elgar’nan. Yeah, they’re powerful, but so is Tevinter supremacy and racism.

Also I brought Taash to the gathering bc it was funny, and no one said anything about it???

I do like how the Venatori fangirl over rook

This game Better not turn me into a Solas girlie

You Have Earned the Dread Wolf’s Respect

Well. There’s nothing really funny to say about the dragon king finale. Yeah. Yk I’ve had some complaints about the voice direction, but. Yeah.

Now. The Davrin choice is actually a tough one.

Also does Solas know what’s going on with Harding??? Bc tbh I don’t really know what’s going on with her.

DELIGHTFUL SON BOY MANFRED 💕

For a guy supposedly terrified of death, Emmrich has no problem rolling with the Veilguard

NO MANFREDDDDD

MANFRED HAS BECOME A REAL BOY!!!!!!

So my Rook has stated that she both is and isn’t Dalish at various points so….

Oh Em x Strife sounds cute

The Butcher is kinda..

Oh God he’s so hot.

Fuck. I want him so bad.

Bbg I was not paying attention to anything he was saying

Still would let him butcher this puss—

Support NonBinary wrongs today!

Have we just forgotten that qamek is like. Literally brain melting.

Is there any particular reason Ivenci is a mage btw? Antiva has circles.

The Solas convo with the inquisitor is so juicy bc I’m playing as my Lavellan’s daughter. It’s such a mom-coded convo to begin with but,

The Antivan decor is soooo cunty

I love how all the companions bother Hezzenkoss’ skull in the Lighthouse

Well. That can’t be good. Astronomically speaking.

Not me and Taash getting into a fight before the final battle. NOT ROOK CRYING :(((((

All the fucking blight boils on the Ghil fight JESUS

I mean yeah, that bald bitch was obviously up to something

But OUGH I’m so SICKKK. What if your mom’s ex tried to trap you in a prison of his own regret. Bc there was no other way. Even though he loves your mother. And you by proxy. I’m SICK.

Oh I realllly like what they did here

Varric Haters of the World REJOICE! (I can appreciate the emotional weight of the scene tho too I guess)

[skeletood]

OHHHHH SO MANY THOUGHTS TO SHARE

Holy shit. Probably the hardest I’ve laughed at any of the new seasons releases so far. Absolutely speechless

Hellhole:

- SOOOOO HAPPY to see them riff again it’s so corny and silly

- Beavis gets to hell and his first thought is where all the biker dudes are? interesting interesting *puts this in my notes

-oh my god already some amazing facial expressions

no wonder this dude ends up with so many cracked teeth in the future

- the boys being inexplicably immune to death never gets old to me

- THE DARKNESS PART HAD MY HEAD IN MY HANDS SHUT UP. THANK **GOD** IT WASN’T ANOTHER ESCAPED SNAKE SITUATION DEAR GOD IVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER FOR A BAIT AND SWITCH

-hehe :] sillies

Overall thoughts: Another great ep this season good job guys, gave me a lot of good little laughs

The video segment was whatever but Arianna’s eye candy so like. All good :]

Take A Bow:

My god. I had absolutely no idea what was going to happen on the way in to this episode and I was NOT prepared for what it gave me and put me through

- already starting the ep strong with some GREAT facial expressions

so fucking real i used to do this to my guy friends when i was their age. not quite enough to put them in the hospital but like. yea lmao

- (monotone) “Take a bow” HAD ME DYINNNNGGGGG

- knowing about all the flavors of mountain dew what a goddamn nerd (knows everything about the different monster flavors)

- “Cherries don’t taste red at ALL. They taste all barfy” little kids complaining about foods they dont like is so silly, thank you for being your childish self its so refreshing

oh man. fuck. its butthead characterization time! finally some good fucking food. oh man here come the waterworks IMAGINE me getting stupid over an emotionally stunted idiot with a big head:

- “not until youre better beavis” first of all shut up. second of all shut up.

- “It’s like, I didn’t mean to hurt him. Feeling bad sucks.” WE KNOW BABY. WE KNOW. SO PROUD OF YOU FOR ADMITTING IT HUN :((((( the fact that bro cant even acknowledge he HAS feelings unless he’s alone. the volumes that speaks to me. man

if you had told me a week ago these were real screenoshots i wouldnt have believed you. at all. cant wait to see the looks on the faces of all the “ohh stop looking so far into it its just a stupid lowbrow cartoon” people like shut the fuck up!!!!! youve clearly never experienced real friendship before and are so pissed off cause u dont know what it looks like

- not pictured here is where they had to forcefully remove butthead from the room bc he was freaking out after thinking he killed beavis. If you disagree youre just wrong sorry!

- not only is this a funny as hell angle but man. we already know damn well he doesn’t want beavis to die but its nice to hear him say it. also he’s right, it was really funny. take a bow :]

- a lot of really good beavis screams this episode too

- BOY. HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT “COVID” IS. MR JUDGE IM STRIKING THAT FROM THE RECORDS BUT YOURE ON THIN FUCKING ICE AKJSDSNA

- “-and his friend would have died of grief shortly there-after” I’m- I need a minute. LIKE WE ALREADY KNEW THIS BUT. THANKS FOR ADMITTING IT. 

- also, god is a whiteman i guess kasjndsajkd

In conclusion: both fucking great episodes. I am always EXTRA excited for Butt-Head characterization moments, it just makes him so much more human. Not to mention how happy I am to see that they toned down his cruelty JUST a touch. I honestly didn’t notice how bad it had gotten last season until i compared it to how this one is going so far, it feels more like older seasons butthead again :] Like dont get me wrong i LOVE it when he’s mean its just who he is but it should come more out of a place of stupidity/no real self awareness than like. idk wherever it was coming from last season. These boys are goin soft on us and to that i say: thank god. It’s nice to see them act human. Take a bow has EASILY taken old man beavis’ place as my favorite ep so far and ngl its going to be tough to beat. Funny episode that had me chuckling throughout the whole thing AND nice Butt-Head moments? Oh Mike, you shouldnt have u///u

Anyways lemme know your thoughts :]

[away-ward]

Newcomer here and i just finished nightfall, wanted to share because i saw your fics. Unwanted confessions, and idk if you've received these kinds before: dn series made me feel old. These characters mature so fast and were so sexualised since they were young, and later on being only in their mid 20s, acting as if the world will collapse just because they dont have kids or make babies at 24. They gave me white christian religious parents trauma frfr. Their obsession of being liberal but gender roles still being so conservative put the feminism movement back to 200 years ago, i fucking hate every characters in this series except for emory, frfr. Like they can be dark romance rich billionaires and have amazing char arcs but what the fuck was that series? Dn made me believe, rich white privilege people and blonds are really THAT fucking stupid. I'd like to go to the US just to see blond white privileged americans act like rika & winter frfr.

oh, And that wuss ass "lover" guy will grayson who "claimed" to love emory scott so much (🙄) reach out to her yada yada, while fucking around with other women and having threesomes here and there so easily, it was NOT swoony or romantic. He's cheap as fuck, i hate manwhore male characters like him so fucking much. And they just excuse his shit because he was pining for emory, as if he fucking deserves her or somthing. I swear, will grayson does not deserve emory scott, but thats my unpopularopinion. if he had cared enough about emmy, he shouldve fought for her harder. Urgh, i hate weak male characters, such a turn off. All that nightfall plot happening only because he was the weakest of them, yikes. Cant believe he was only ever a man with emory, it's giving "she's only tough when a man saves her" trope, but in reverse, and oh, what does that looks like? Rika fane and winter ashby's arcs! Rika, winter and will, three dumbest characters of the series, frfr. No wonder damon liked them, theyre so similar with one another. Emory scott's patience is truly better than mine.

And Dont even get me started with alex. I hate her in noghtfall. Why did pd butcher her charcter like that? I was shocked, girl! Shocked! Not even banks and rika who treated her like shit initially got a slap, and emmy who didnt even bother got one? In a conversation thats not even about her? The fuck? Where's the girl's girl personality at? Out the window now that her love life with aydin was threathened? Wow. Worse is, they're friends (emmy alex).... i hate pd for this, they just cannot write two pretty female friends who thrive. They always make their male caharcters have amazing bonds with each other, but all fmcs had some sort of internalised misogynistic catfights. If pd can give us willdamon, they can give us rikalaex, banksemmy, alexemmy amazing female frienships alright. Pd just chose not to. And notice how all of their other books, the girls were always around men, but no amazing same-age female presence in their live? Even emmy admitted she was not familiar around woman. Like?? She had amazing relationship with her mom and grandma was compared to the rest no? Why cant we have at least this in this whole disgusting male worshipping series? Istg, there was no reason for pd to build up a powerful and empowering worldbuilding for a women like the horsemen's wives but only to make their same teachers to be men, who never had to know what it feels like to struggle as a woman, ESPECIALLY in their society in thunder bay? This happened in birthday girl, in fall away, misconduct, like??? Its a pattern atp. I hate it. If you have any book recs thathave amazing female relationship between women, please do share, i need some cleansing from all these stupid male chars.

Other than that, i guess i shouldnt have ever expected monogamy or exclusivity in relationships when it comes to pd's books too. These chars are all so overly touchy. I heard about the rikabanks bonus, and it ruined hideaway and corrupt for me. Because why is banks whole ass personality about being jealous of rika, being so caught with damon and kai, AFTER A WHOLE DECADE. does she not have a fucking hobby or go to therapy or something? Stupid as hell. And why is rika being in the centre a.fucking.gain. God, shes dull af, pd just stop! What also pisses me off even more is when people can freely kiss and touch will (like alex, winter to will in killswitch and noghtfall train scene), but god forbid emmy had the same attention or touchesfrom other men, that bitchass grayson starts to act up, as if he fought for her life or something. Fuck him honestly, atleast damon admitted he was a literal piece of shit. I hate people and chars like will because theyre so hypocritical. Never in a million years i would expect to hate will in his own book, but god damn, he really really ruined nightfall for me. Not a single redeeming quality to that fucker. He made me swore so much. I already hated him for his treatment to rika banks and winter in the previous books, and now him with emmy? And just watching emmy getting hurt again again again, not only by her world and herself, but also by will, by his own friends, and by the people associated to his world like aydin and taylor, and never standing by her side through it all? Yea. No. Fuck man, i hate will grayson so much. I wouldve given up on him by the end of the train scene, ngl.

will grayson will never be a real man to me. Like he's a wuss, my girl emory deserve better. "His only mistake was he loves too much", no his mistake was being a hypocritical self-righteous shallow privilege entitled narcissistic assaulting male whore. And Thats only the tip of the iceberg of his shitty character. Nightfall ws the biggest scam.

i honestly just wanna vent out my feelings about this book, because i just finished nightfall, and hooooo i never thought i'd hate will, man. Never thought i'd hate him like i hated michael and damon but here we are. It's always the hypocritical angelic male ones that ends up being scum like this. Oo at least kai was only whiny and hurt rika/ banks and bare in mind, kai was still fucking shit and i hate him, but god damn, will grayson really was the biggest disappointment of devils night series for me. I immediately went to tumblr to check out his tags and found your fics, and i'd like to say, i like your will only 5% more. I cannot imagine will being that good to emmy honestly, so i guess it stays as a wish fulfillment for me as a fan of emmy. I might fucking hate will, but emmy loves him so wtv. If emmy had done one wrong thing, its will grayson. i cant lie, this was shocking to me because i went into this book expecting to like will. But i only came to meet a whiny loser ass white privilege guy who never had to suffer anything other than the consequences of his and his friend's actions? Wow, not enough that we had this kind of man irl, theyre everywhere in fiction too, god! And people hate rika more? Nah, i hated rika, but never more than will grayson frfr. Theyre all so fucking dumb. And on that dumb note, whats with the chars (except for emmy) always anticipating damon? He never served? He talked shit so much, but never actually served? The fuck? At least in haunting adeline, zade meadows did what he said. Damon was just the guy thatblabbers too much, but do nothing. And even when he had plans, its always with someone else's help? Huh? Cant believe they compared zade to damon. Theyre both scums, but at least zade had creds, and then theres damon, the bland no-skills wolf-like guy.. ughhhh 🤮🤢 i hate when author tries to use shock value to hide their awful arcs, because damon torrance and rika fane were two of their mostshitty ass chars arcs written so far. Plus michael. Michael was like a standee to his friends, but thats a whole nother topic.

i honestly dont know if its fine for me to rant here since im a newbie but if you dont feel comfy, you can just delete this post, just wanted to vomit my rants yk.

i honestly dont know if its fine for me to rant here since im a newbie but if you dont feel comfy, you can just delete this post, just wanted to vomit my rants yk.

Honestly, I have inadvertently cultivated a place for people to send their anonymous rants, so I guess why not? It’s fine.

To be perfectly honest, though, there’s not a lot for me to reply to.

First, thank you so much for reading my fics! And for hating them 5% less that the series. I’m going to take it as a compliment. If it wasn’t meant that way, then let me live in delusion.

Of course, the characters in my fics are a bit more idealized. I write them the way I wanted them to be, which if you read other portions of my blog, is far from what PD has given us. That’s fine, they own the characters; they can write them however they want. But I wrote something that was self-indulgent and soothed over the parts of the series that hurt the most for me, or that I felt were the most intriguing. I wrote them for me first, and posted them in case it helped anyone else. I’m happy that people enjoy them, but I know they’re not everyone’s tastes.

Second, I guess I’ll say I’m sorry about Nightfall. The sour feeling of being let down, I think, is one that most of us are familiar with here.

Ummm. I do think it’s a little weird that you’ve read multiple PD books, and even finished the DN series… especially since you were looking forward to Will. Because I hated Will for the first three books and if I weren’t curious about Emory, I wouldn’t have finished the series at all. I also find it equally weird that your first impulse after finishing a series you hate is to go to the tag of the character you hated the most? I mean, I’ve definitely clicked on hot-takes I know I’m going to disagree with and hate-read things, but it’s not my go-to.

I’m sure the Emory tag is lovely.

I haven’t read any of PDs other books, so I don’t know how they compare.

Beyond that,

I swear, will grayson does not deserve emory scott, but thats my unpopularopinion.

Maybe if you were to poll everyone who has ever read the series, that would be an unpopular opinion, but I think if you look back about six months on this blog, you’ll probably find a dozen or so messages almost exactly like this. So, around these parts, it’s not such an unpopular opinion. I think most people who message me probably feel the exact same way.

But I’ve already written essays of poorly done character analysis to defend Will, Emory, their relationship, and his relationship with others. There’s not much for me to add to that without just restating myself. I share some of the same opinions as you, and some different ones. I don’t think your thoughts and feelings are very unpopular at all.

If you have any book recs thathave amazing female relationship between women, please do share, i need some cleansing from all these stupid male chars

Unfortunately, I haven’t had a lot of time to read lately, so all of my recommendations would be old. When I do have the time, I’ve been rereading stuff.

I also don’t have KU, so I’m not familiar with the catalog. I had it at one point, specifically to read Nightfall, and afterward I started a lot of different series, but there wasn’t a lot that caught my attention. I’m sure there are a lot of KU readers with blogs around that would be able to offer you a rec.

I have recently reread the English version of Hana Yori Dango, or Boys Over Flowers. One thing I noted was how amazing the female relationships are. They’re so positive, even when the girls are conflicted. It’s a manga, 37 volumes long, so of course it would take a diagram or a PowerPoint to break down how this is, but it was something I really appreciated on this read through. The girls are all very different, too, without feeling like they're cardboard cut-outs. If you’re at all interested in manga, and I know not everyone is so no worries, I highly recommend it. It’s honestly a superior take on the “4 rich boys who cause trouble” and their romances.

I’ve also been rereading Sempre, which I mentioned before. That’s sort of a mafia romance, but I would categorize it as dark. I’ve been noting how supportive the female relationships are there as well. I’ve really been enjoying that this time around.

And that brings me to a TV show, actually. I’ve mentioned it and reblogged a lot of Leverage stuff, but it truly is a comfort show for me. Parker sits very close to Emory in my heart, and I had hoped that Emory would have some of the same opportunities to develop relationships that Parker had. Parker’s relationship with Sophie is so interesting and nice to watch unfold.

In fact, something I haven’t said before because I don’t think anyone would understand it, is that I had hoped that Alex would become more like a Terra-type character. For anyone interested, here’s an episode. You’d need Amazon to watch it, but it’s probably free somewhere anyway.

Anyway, that’s all I got right now. I truly am sorry that it was such a bad experience for you. You’re welcome to stick around, but I’m sure since you hated so much, you’re ready to move on after unloading like that. But it’s all good either way. I hope you’re on to better and better things.

Take care of yourself!

With love and appreciation,

-KO

[guhamun]

@caemthe said (inbox):

[ cú ] It took him a while to realize, but... Yuyu and Rami made a good pair, didn't they? As different as the two men are, they get along just fine, which made him wonder... "So are you two dating?" The punk asked one day at random. Before he could even get a proper answer, he turned to Ramil and said: "Thank you for taking care of Jianyu. I know he may appear a little prickly at first, but he's actually very sweet and kind. I used to worry all the time for him when I was a kid since he was more of a loner, but now I'm relieved that he found someone special." How touching...

JIANYU HAD BEEN IN the middle of a drink when Cu, out of nowhere, blurted that out. He choked, spiting the liquid back into his glass and coughing. Ramil took that randomness far better than himself, the other just as taken aback, yet far quicker to snap out of his surprise than his partner. Bursting into a loud fit of laughter that was so easily drowned out by the music of Afterlife, he grinned widely, eyes twinkling with both amusement and mischief. ❝No, no, we’re not dating. I asked this guy out once and he nearly cut my head clean off my shoulders!❞ Laughing a little more, he could practically feel Jianyu’s eyes burning into his skin in all its searing glory. ❝Kidding, kidding!❞ Holding up both hands, in a peace gesture, he watched Jianyu glower and grumble and pushing his glass forward to order another drink. When the ‘danger’ had passed, only then did he go back to his conversation with Cu. ❝Well, not so much about the near head chopping off thing. There’s a story behind that, but that’s for another day. Maybe when I’m a little less sober so I can really make the story ten times more exciting.❞

     Leaning against the counter, he hummed a little at Cu’s next words, a nod of agreement offered. ❝Oh, yes, I know that very well. Jianyu here intimidated the hell out of me.❞ Glancing over at the other, he bumped his shoulder against the merc, though Jianyu gave no indication of care aside from continuing with his new drink. ❝This guy gave off those killer vibes. He wasn’t someone acting tough. I could tell from the beginning that this man, if he wanted, could really kill me. Buuut…❞ pausing, he waved at the waitress, grinning once again and asking her sweetly for a refill before she scoffed and smiled, turning to prepare the mix he had ordered previously. ❝Talking to him, I learned I had a higher chance of a Maelstrom shooting at me for breathing weird in their direction than him wanting to cut me to pieces.❞

     ❝I’ll kill you right now, you shit.❞

     ❝And get banned from this lovely establishment? At least try to give a better threat in front of our young friend here.❞ Drink placed down in front of him once again, Rami gave his thanks with a wink to the waitress before resuming his conversation with a certain very…shamelessly curious punk. ❝Anyway, you gotta have someone you can trust in this shithole city of ours, right? Live as long as guys like us in this biz, you reach a point where you can pretty much tell who’s going to potentially try and backstab you, and who’s ride or die. Most of the time, at least.❞ An emphasis on ‘most’, considering.