#its especially fun when there's not much “personality” in their gimmick posts

[semiotomatics]

i love when gimmick blogs make a non-gimmick post. its a fun reminder that there's a person behind the gimmick, someone (presumably) with a main blog where they post who knows what. they could be anyone! they could be your best friend! unless they share their other blog(s), you have no way of knowing! idk man, theres an air of mystery around gimmick blogs thats just so appealing to me.

[qqueenofhades]

JSYK the OP of the Crab Day post is a self-identified conservative Christian. Can't speak to anything she may have done or said, but I do know that Crab Day wouldn't actually fix Tumblr - the site is running a 30mil *deficit,* which is different from debt. All Crab Day would do would be telling staff that their current policies get users to send them more money, which doesn't actually change anything. Corporations change only when their business strategy is losing the shareholders money.

Gotta be honest, my friend, I'm... not sure what you're trying to do here? Warn me that the original post was made by a Problematic Person (tm) and therefore that must mean it's all wrong, or.... what?

We know that Tumblr badly needs money, because they have told us that and openly admitted that the unpopular new changes were spurred by a need for increasing revenue. I logged on just now on desktop and got a suggestion that I could purchase an ad-free browsing subscription to help support the hellsite (which is the word they used, because they have very much embraced the joke). I have in fact already bought an ad-free subscription, both because I like the product Tumblr provides and want to keep using it in its current form, and because it makes my mobile experience immeasurably nicer. I am well aware that especially in this era of social media sites dropping like flies, the continued existence of a platform that is 30-million-dollars underwater (however you want to split hairs about exactly how) is not a guarantee. And we all complain about Tumblr, but we have all been here a long time (me, uh, over 10 years), we have a solid community, there's no other alternative that's really ever come up or gotten the same kind of uptake, and if it went under, we would be uh, screwed.

Tumblr is kind of a mess, it's the antithesis of every social media site, and it doesn't (for now) have the crap that makes The Artist Formerly Known As Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram so utterly unusable, or if it does, you can (mostly) turn it off. That's why we all like it and why, even if we are resolutely anti-capitalist gremlins who resist being marketed to with every fiber of our being, it doesn't change the fact that servers, staff, and all the rest cost real human-people money which the site, by their own frank admission, is struggling to raise. Even if staff does often make crappy updates, they generally at least TRY to listen to us and include a feature to make it optional or roll it back, unlike certain unnamed idiot billionaires. Their mockery of other social media sites can sometimes be a little much, but for now, Tumblr is pretty much the last place on the internet that does what it does, and I like it that way. If it went under and took my blog of 10+ years and all my friends with it, I would be incredibly sad.

That being the case, and basic financial realities being what they are, encouraging people to toss a few bucks at a TOTALLY OPTIONAL and fun gimmick that increases functionality for a product we like is actually not a bad thing. TumblrMart has crabs, checkmarks, Ea-Nasir merchandise (seriously), ad-free browsing, etc., and if our choice is voluntarily supporting the site through fun (and again, OPTIONAL) purchases versus having us all be involuntarily subject to some horrible data-scraping mechanism or forced off altogether because they couldn't keep the lights on, that is fine with me. Nobody is making anybody do or buy anything. But if you like the product Tumblr provides and want a fun material way to show your appreciation, then I don't think it's some Great Transgression to participate in that.

[pikachugirltits]

Magic x Marvel: Idle Speculation

I have a lot of random thoughts about the upcoming Magic the Gathering x Marvel crossover, and I thought it would be neat to just ramble about them in a post, especially so I can hopefully find that post again later when the sets release and see how much I was right about. I'm just gonna bullet point this because this is kind of a stream of consciousness sort of deal:

We know that we're getting multiple "tentpole releases" a.k.a. more than one full set for this particular crossover. I'm thinking at least one is going to be a straight to Modern draftable set similar to the LotR set, but I don't think they're necessarily just doing that for all the sets. I speculate that the other (or one of the others if there's more than two) set is going to be a gimmick draft set, such as 2-Head Giant or Commander draft.

I personally am hoping one of the sets is a Commander draft set, and that our partner variant for the set goes the Stranger Things route and just creates a subset partner variant. I propose the name Team-Up, to represent the ubiquity of team up storylines in comic books. (I actually made an entire post about this but Tumblr's wonderful search function is choosing not to find it on my blog.)

Ooh, if they do go the Commander draft route they can make the Prismatic Piper equivalent a Skrull or something

I really, really want a Squirrel Girl card that makes squirrel tokens that I can jam into my Chatterfang deck. Squirrel Girl is my favorite superhero and I just want her on a card so, so badly.

I think it would be cool to have a Mjolnir equipment that in addition to its other effects also has a bit of trinket text along the lines of "equipped creature is a God in addition to its other types."

Thor and Loki and any other Asgardian that represents an actual god should have the creature type God. It already exists. Like sure, we could make Asgardian a creature type if we wanted to, but that's the coward's route.

I saw someone make a comment on Reddit about adding Hero and Villain as creature types, but I really, really hope that doesn't happen. It runs the risk of making the creature types in the set super repetitive, and we're already gonna see a lot of that from the sheer number of human characters. Sure, we'll have some mutants and aliens and robots to occasionally break things up, but it'll be much worse if the class types among cards aren't varied.

Like seriously, let's use the movie Avengers lineup. What's better...having four Human Hero cards, a God Hero, and whatever we do with the Hulk...or a Human Soldier, Human Scientist, Human Archer, Human Rogue, God Warrior, and whatever we do with the Hulk

Yeah, actually...what are we gonna do with the Hulk and related characters? In a vacuum, I would probably type the Hulk as Mutant Berserker...but for IP reasons I wouldn't be surprised if the Mutant creature type is reserved solely for characters with the X-Gene. I don't have an answer for this, just wondering...

Oh, and since I mentioned the MCU, I do want to say one thing, if they're smart they'll base the sets on the comics and not the MCU. Gives them a lot more material and characters to pull from

Booster fun treatment should lean into this and be comic book themed, but I think they would also be smart to offer some Secret Lair drops featuring alt art versions of the characters based on the MCU...if they're willing to deal with the likeness rights and whatnot.

Multiple tentpole releases does mean multiple commander precons. Some themes I could easily see them basing decks on: the Avengers, X-Men, Spider-Man/Spider-Verse, Guardians of the Galaxy+other space themed characters, a deck for a bunch of the more mystical Marvel characters probably led by Dr. Strange, S.H.I.E.L.D., A.I.M., Villains in general (from my memory Marvel doesn't really have a singular Legion of Doom type team up of its iconic villains, but I'm definitely picturing a Villains deck that tosses a bunch of iconic villains together in one deck...you could call it the Masters of Evil as a deep cut though.)

If Gambit gets a card, he should have an ability that lets you discard cards to deal damage to a target to represent Gambit throwing cards at his enemies. (This is the kind of wink at the camera stuff I love in UB products.)

Koi Boy should get a card purely because he's a canon trans man and Magic really needs some trans masc representation.

[bigredsweetiepie]

Thoughts about a certain someone🦷pt.1

Unfortunately for Mr. Glenn Jacobs, I think about Isaac Yankem frequently. Like, he is definitely one of my hyper fixations. 😅

I consider myself a scholar of this character and I honestly enjoy the design of Yankem. Due to the way that 90s wrestling and specifically the WWF was doing in '95, its really no surprise that the character tanked in a year. It's sad that he wasn't around for long, but it just wasn't reasonable for him to stick around too much longer after the Jerry Lawler -Brett Hart rivalry. He was a fun addition during that time, and it was camp!

Poor Glenn himself has said it was camp (not in a good way- and I don't blame him). If I was trying to support my family with my passion, and I had to portray a dentist with horrible teeth in the mid 90s, I would be understandably upset as well. I can't help but feel that the WWF was "playing in his face" because why would they put such a horrible gimmick to such a talented BIG man?

However, since his career took off afterwards eventually with Kane, I don't feel like a complete and total jerk liking IY. ( I think it would be a different story if his career died after portraying Yankem, but thankfully Jacobs is hard-working, resilient, and passionate to the point where he gracefully managed the hand he was dealt and succeeded!)

Now, let's talk character design and what I like about him.

Bc I'm a young adult on a Kane-posting tumblr you could imagine that my tastes are not......standard issue. I like deranged characters! Kane is a great, vanilla (ish) version of that. I also can't help but like the crazed doctor trope, something about it is always chef's kiss.

So years ago when I first found Kane and professional wrestling, I was absolutely giddy when I discovered that the man who portrayed him also played a deranged dentist?! Please lord. It was like a two for one special (but I also enjoyed Doomsday, Unabom , and Diesel II so it was like a coupon book).

His entrance music leaves less to be desired, I do enjoy that Jim Johnston included calming elevator music with the drill, but ya know, it is what it is.

Speaking of his entrance, oh my god ? The Yankem grillz on the screen? I think about those frequently . I really can't imagine that in the year '95 that it was edited on, so I imagine that it was a real pair of grillz that WWF made for Jacobs. I can't find anything on them, but they crack me up every time I see them.

Also when IY walks out to the ring he'll say some phrases that are in character. There are two I can make out with my very poor lip reading skills and close listening.

It's time for an extraction.

(Care for your teeth ) you only get one set.

God that is perfect.

Continuing with the entrance themes, when he takes off his dentist smock? help?! He does it so aggressively.😅

I love his attire anyways, especially how he has those long boots under his baggy pants, which were special because most wrestlers had tights on, so the fact he had baggier pants that hid long ass boots underneath is a great surprise ( see when he was tied up by Bret Hart on the turnbuckle). I somehow always expect smaller shoes, but the boots keep going up.🤣I somehow always see them as patent leather dress shoes.

(I kinda want to make an entire post based on his attire bc I love it, so more on that later)

The way he moves in the ring is fantastic. I personally can't tell what Glenn was talking about when he said his matches were horrible. To a non-professional it looks fine. Maybe he was referring to this in a technical manner? I really have no idea. However, one thing I think he excelled whether on purpose or accident was how he moved in the ring. He moved stiff and rushed and rather chaotic, which I think fit a wrestling dentist (No offense Britt Baker!!). In theory if you were a crazed dentist, you wouldn't be graceful, fluid, or pleasing to look at while you were dissecting your patient opponent.

Anyways, I will probably make a part 2 bc that is a lot of dumping....

[archer3-13]

Fire Emblem Engage: The Four Hounds, Execution and Intent

got past ch23 of engage, gameplay wise its a fun enough chapter using map environmental damage gimmicks in a way that generally works. as you can tell from the title though, thats not why im making this post. I'm making this post because spoiler warning:

this is where the four hounds and the plotlines tied to that whole group basically culminate. id be surprised anyways if anything more comes of them, but at this point i feel confident enough at their part in the story to comment on it.

under the cut

the tl:dr of it all is that the four hounds are a villain quartet idea i love in concept, but find lacking in execution in regards to their place in the story.

but what do i mean by that? well, we'll start by going over the concept of what engage wants the four hounds to be. at the bare minimum the four hounds are our evil quartet/mini group for the game, a timed honored tradition not just in fe but across media of all sorts. in terms of general archetypes we have

zephia: evil sexy female group leader and bosses right hand mauvier: the honorable obviously going to heel turn or die tragically guy griss: the crazy one in it ostensibly for the lols possibly for another reason marni: small bratty child who was duped into it with candy

and if they were just the bare minimum I probably wouldnt have much more to say on the matter, but the game does give them some extra narrative teeth and its something that kinda flew past my head for the majority of the game because it didnt feel that important. we will get to that.

but essentially, ya know how in ch10/11, the snippet of the scene marketing decided to use to tease the four hounds pre release? when zephia notes how the four hounds are 'like a family'? shes not just saying that she literally means that, its their 'unique selling point' so to speak as an evil group. aside from their evil archtypes you can also map them like this

zephia: mommy mauvier: daddy griss: son marni: daughter

and to give the game credit where its due, when that realization did finally hit i'll admit, i appreciated the four hounds and what was going on with them a lot more. the irrational attachment mauvier and marni display to zephia despite how awful of a person she is makes sense, why mauvier is being so weirdly passive about all the things the hounds are doing especially to veyle despite clearly taking issue with it makes sense, why marni wants to go back to the hounds and mauvier fuckin encourages her to go makes sense.

a lot of what im mentioning there is pretty clearly suppose to be irrational behavior taken for emotional reasons of course. the game presents it as such, but it was always the context of why the characters were acting irrationally that got lost. the deathbed clarification between griss and zephia does clear up a lot of that confusion, atleast for me, and brings some interesting weight to previous storybeats. the four hounds are a family, but a clearly dysfunctional one serving a dark god.

and it tracks with what in retrospect are the wider themes of engage, family and what defines the individual in relation to them. veyles struggle for recognition from her father sombron to the point of believing in his lies until forcibly confronted with the truth, veyles evil alter ego being the complete opposite of veyle in every way except in the desire to be sombrons daughter, ivy and hortensia having had a loving father in hyacinth until his obsession with the fell dragon saw him willing to abandon his own daughters for power, alcrysts and diamants father being described as a paradoxical fierce warrior and gentle family man, alears relation to lumera and how they decide to be family by choice instead of family by circumstance etc.

which is why i will ultimantly say that watching griss and zephias death scene chocked me ever so slightly [in that good emotional release way] with griss providing a gentle reprieve in their dying moments, with a genuinely kinda beautiful final shot of their corpses lying next to each other with griss holding on to zephias hand in the end.

how, fucking, ever.

you'll notice how when describing their death cutscene i pretty much exclusively focus on griss leaving zephia out of the descriptor entirely despite the cutscene being just as much about her as griss. and thats because well i can definitely understand and appreciate the concept intellectually

execution is another matter

were introduced to the four hounds fairly early on in engage, over ten chapters before their whole plotline culminates. and right off the bat i'll note that the screen time for these chucklefucks is kinda wasted in a lot of instances. when they do appear in story they usually could just be replaced with bit villains, and i mean that from both a gameplay and story perspective but for this post story is the more important aspect.

so! the distribution and utilization of their screen time is already wonky and uneven. that'd hurt things even if it was executed really well. but, as i said it isn't and i can point to two primary factors in that matter that i feel needed some serious tweaking to get this to work

the interaction of the hounds as a family unit

and zephia herself

so, starting with the easier problem [in my opinion], the hounds and the time they spend interacting. if the idea were suppose to be grasping is that the hounds are like a family unit, if a very fucked up one, then its important that when the hounds are on screen interacting with each other that their interactions always carry a very distinctive family dynamic to them. and this is the first hurdle engage trips over with the hounds because frankly they dont.

dont what? dont interact all that often as a group, dont interact like a family. as stated their screen time is already wonky, but even when the group is all together on screen is very heavily weighted either to zephia talking mad shit, or to evil veyle/veyle interactions. that leads us into the second part of this problem, and its that even when the four hounds are all together interacting they never really feel like a family, even an off brand one. they feel like evil coworkers in an organization brought together as colleagues to do missions as they try and impress their superior for individual merit.

and thats a problem, cause if we are suppose to feel sad for their 'family' when it starts fraying at the edges, when the ideological and moral weight and contradictions of their actions and individual perspectives start clashing and tear the family asunder, suppose to feel bad when mommy and daddy start fighting because mommys an evil bitch who stabbed their daughter, then they need to feel like a family right from the get go and in every interaction and appearance they make.

which brings us to what i would consider the bigger problem. zephia herself. why is she a problem? because shes the biggest impediment outside of screen time and dialogue distribution inn getting this group to work and feel like an actual family. and screen time and dialogue distribution? giving the four hounds room to interact and feel like a family? thats a writing issue sure but a fairly easily fixable one you just have to give and write them more lines of interacting like a family.

zephia however simply does not work character wise as a mother figure for the four hounds family unit. even if you tried to get them to interact more like a family unit youd run into the problem that shes written exclusively as sombrons evil sexy secretary. and yes secretaries can be mothers but thats not the point.

in order to get this idea of the four hounds as a family unit across, and not the facade of one but an actual pseudo sort of family unit that were suppose to feel for as a family unit, then you need to have characters capable of displaying affection and compassion for each other. and zephia just cant do that the way shes written, itd be like trying to write petrine [or aversa really, who zephia shares way more writing dna with] in a domestic family situation. they're both characters that are too outwardly cruel and cold to realistically manage that without feeling either disingenious, as zephia felt the entire time i was playing whenever she mentioned the four hounds as a family unit which is part of why it didnt stick with me at first, or just feeling out of character.

and unfortunately the only way you could practically fix that, is by rewriting zephias character to one that would fit what the story wants to convey. at which point she becomes a different character, just one sharing zephias face.

best solution i can think of is to shift zephia from a aversa type as it were to more of an eremyia type if that makes sense. cause eremyias big thing in the fe12 assassin sub plot is how she outwardly presents the facade of a kindly matron of a church orphanage well underneath shes a cruel and cold taskmaster of an assassin cult for gharnefs objectives. if zephia had at least been somewhat similar, presenting a wholesome motherly facade before letting the teeth out to achieve sombrons objectives, then i feel things would have hit a lot better in regards to the four hounds and their plotlines.

it would make more sense why the group stays together despite the horrific shit they do, it would hit harder when the cracks form, it would be more shocking when marni gets stabbed by zephia, more impactful when mauvier declares his intent to kill zephia, and more heartbreaking when zephia belatedly realizes she wasted her opportunity for a real family of sorts by taking the four hounds for granted and similarly more heartbreaking when griss lets the facade drop for a moment to comfort zephia before passing away himself.

but... they didnt. or atleast it doesnt come across that way in the english translation. and thats why i consider it a really good concept, with poor execution.

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

I can certainly point to all the posts I've made up to this point as a sort of okay rundown on my feelings on Hyouka up to this point, but to attempt to summarise them one final time - I think Hyouka kind of ends up being more or less equal parts boring and annoying by way of its various writing and visual choices. It's presented as a very mundane and down to earth slice of life series, but at the same time there's always a mystery to be solved and the characters are presented as somewhat unrealistic larger than life sorts, defining themselves by mottos and ideas of what they as a person are supposed to be. Those ideas and especially mottos are very much toned down as the series continues, and they start getting better at making up mysteries that feel like they could come up in everyday life and that the viewer should be able to solve as well - but then you'll still see Irisu like triple gaslight Oreki instead of just saying "I need help with this" or Satoshi tripling down on his database can't draw conclusions gimmick. It wants to have its cake and eat it too, be a grounded slice of life show attempting to write actual people but then still have those people turn and face the camera to explain their character motivations. I just think it felt kind of awkward. Credit where it's due, definitely looks nice, sounds nice, really great voice acting, when the characters aren't being annoying they're mostly all fairly convincing as people and can be easy to root for, I like Oreki's arc, I like Mayaka in general, and the school festival arc had a genuinely good sense of fun. Chitanda sticks out like a sore thumb in terms of character writing - compared to the others she feels written like a borderline mascot, no real humanity to her in favour of just being a cute moe waifu girl, it's kind of lame. Nothing else specifically is coming to mind for me to say. Bye.

[oniondip420]

Steam Review- Pro Philosopher 2: Governments & Grievances

(cross-posted from my published Steam Review)

TL;DR Highly recommend

Background: I originally played Socrates Jones back in high school (probably 2014) after seeing the playthrough that Philosophy Tube had done of it. At the time, I had never really played any sort of visual novel, especially Ace Attorney. I ended up getting into AA in like 2020, and have played most of the series (big fan). When the remaster of it came out on Steam last year, I replayed it, and was very excited to learn that Pro Philosopher 2 would be coming out. I have been following the game since then and was very hype to finally get a chance to play this.

Thoughts on the game itself: - In AA, (for the most part) you can only press a statement for more information, or present evidence to contradict it; Pro Philosopher has always had three different types of "press" functionality, in addition to the challenge statement one. This game works similarly to the first, and has already proven itself to feel like a much more dynamic and interesting argument process than in AA. I've always loved this aspect of the series and wish that AA did more stuff like this (instead of introducing bracelet and therapy gimmicks). I also think it's easier to not get stuck, I think I only had difficulty figuring out what to challenge in one case (compared to AA where its common for like 5 or 6 cross examinations to have statements you are meant to press on with evidence that you would have never thought of without a walkthrough). - The character sprites are SO much nicer than the first game. Their idle animations and more active movements in dialogue are really smooth and really make this feel much more like a real visual novel instead of a remastered quirky indie browser game (the first one is still charming ofc, but this is such a step up!) - This game is also so funny so far, like with Ari asking Confucius about his gender politics lmao, or Arbiter pretending to be a very vindictive Jenn or Fanon complaining about having to listen to the other philosophers in therapy lol - It would be nice if there was an auto-advance dialogue control for the cutscenes/dialogue outside of the arguments themselves. I want to be able to read the scenes while also eating fried rice lol. - The back-to-back debates with Rawls and Nozick were really awesome, both the way they cut into jab at each other (lol) and also the slide projector graphs that Nozick pulls out of nowhere (LMAO) - Pretty much every philosopher featured in this game I think both had a very well fleshed out personality, as well as representing their thought well (at least, to the best of my own amateur philosophy enthusiast knowledge!) - I saw that there was an update to Marx's arguments at some point, I might go back and play this all again once it stabilizes if there are more patch releases soon. It was really fun

Overall, HIGHLY recommend checking out

[td-brick]

do you have LGBTQ+ headcanons that you're particularly attached to? If so, which ones for which characters?

YES so many LOLLL under the cut cuz I rambled a bit. Also I'm afraid all of them are lesbian headcanons because I am + I really like analyzing stuff from that perspective. also sorry if any of these aren't very eloquent i'm not good at putting my thoughts into words but I hope this answers your question well enough!

And there's a couple more but these are like. the big ones i guess. or the ones I think about most often

Brick: Yeah obviously i was gonna say this. i usually headcanon characters as butch lesbians anyways but my friend headcanons her as a trans girl and i adopted that too and in my perspective its an interesting read on her character... it just means a lot to me i guess. i talked about this more in depth already (here and here) but idk if those held up/are still good. so you judge that for yourself but i guess it gives more perspective on that specifically

Courtney: She's so lesbian to me... i don't really know how to word this properly but like. her comphet goes crazy... it's like she's so nitpicky about how her boyfriends/male love interests act and behave that to an extent it seems like she doesnt even want a boyfriend. she's just performing heterosexuality by trying to make every guy that likes her into her idea of a "perfect man" but its not because she's attracted to a specific type of man, its bc she wants to be seen as the perfect girl and in her mind that's a straight woman (so internalized homophobia + comphet). like notice how she has a very specific idea of a guy in mind that she's supposedly into and wants to change duncan/scott/whoever else into but shes never actually into a guy like that. its only people who she would have to mold into being like that bc imo that's the only way she would be able to stomach being in a long term relationship with a man without feeling Wrong about it i guess

Jo: Admittedly her being a lesbian to me is mostly based off appearances, and I wouldn't call her good rep of butch/gnc women by any means, but she is to me. like you'd have a hard time convincing me of anything else. she's literally just a butch lesbian. Apparently people think this is stereotypical or something and yeah maybe but just bc it is doesn't mean butches will stop existing and i think it's nice we can find comfort/happiness in seeing masculine women in stuff we like as butches (despite how poorly the show treats them for being masculine)

Heather: She straight up just doesn't show interest in men canonically (except alejandro, who I see as a woman anyways) except when she's using it for strategic purposes/her own personal gain. I also think a lot of her disdain for romance from her teammates is not just bc she's unhappy and hateful but also because she's personally not interested in romance like they are (aka m/f romance). Also semi-related I've seen people say she was mean to lindsay/leshawna because she liked them and i personally hate that rhetoric, lesbian or not 😭 especially since a lot of her actions towards leshawna were racist and not just plain old mean. I do like heathsay though (<- I also like pinkberry (bmc) and I think they have a similar dynamic which is a discussion for a whole other post. but i thought yall should know)

Alejandro: I just think she's more interesting/her gimmick is more fun as a woman. She's a character I like already but its really just more fun to me to imagine her as a lesbian. And I headcanoned her as such already but one of my friends hcs her as an intersex woman and I thought that was really interesting so I just adopted that as well lol

Harold: trans girl + lesbian.. again this was initially adopted from a friend but I think it makes a lot of sense. Sorry for not elaborating on this one as much i do have thoughts on it but I don't really know how to phrase them right now? maybe ill elaborate another time idk I've written about it before but I don't think it's up to snuff enough to post on here (yet)

[pinchan]

On that post that said “girls when the media they're obsessed with is never going to be as good as they wish it could be” you said jujutsu kaisen and I’m just curious what you would do to make it better :)

hi anon ^_^ this is getting less coherent each paragraph bear with me

i don't think i have anything new to offer. first thing i would change is the involvement of international armies since it felt like it threw a brick in the whole story jjk was setting up and the worldbuilding (not to mention it's showing gege's views that are looking kinda cringe)

so in the thousands of years sorcerers have existed no countries besides of japan have heard of them? none of the sorcerers in other countries have figured out something like tengen's barriers to optimize CE? its just really hard to believe that japan is this super special country in the whole entire earth. if we kept the scope to the small sphere of japanese sorcerers none of these problem would even be a thing in the first place. not to mention we don't need anymore major threats besides kenjaku and sukuna; they're a problem big enough that the cast is yet to solve for 200 chapters, and i'm sure they could last 200 more. i get that tsukumo's foreshadowed it in one of her lines, but the whole thing falls apart if you think about it for more than 5 minutes

if they had to be involved though, since i expect/hope that they won't really be a major threat but as another ingredient kenny needs for the chaos soup of their one thousand years science fair plan, i'd have the storytelling between the international negotiation and the higher-up slaughter be swapped. so for the big 200 i'd show them slaughtering the higher-ups that ordered for yuji's execution instead, and have kenny handwave the negotiations. the former was a pretty significant thing that happened and gege just... have kenny tell it to us? instead of showing it? considering how much the higher-ups have been an underlying threat throughout the story, the way gege handwaved it is as "oh yeah that happened" is just...?

going a step back, i'd have the culling game arc include more of the preexisting characters. gege had proved himself to be able to create fights that aren't only exciting but also offer glimpses of the characters' personality and struggles, so it'd be the perfect arc to let some of these characters shine. especially miwa that he'd teased but still hasn't returned. gege. gege did you forget about her. be honest.

i'd also have the new characters provide something into the worldbuilding or plot instead of them just being some randos with a gimmick. uro was the perfect character for it and of course she was sidelined for a boring ass man that adds nothing to either. i will forever complain about this. change kashimo's motive as well. they're a very fun character, but their motive isn't very interesting, and is pretty weird considering how they're putting everything they have to fight sukuna. i'd have their motive be a grudge, they had a humiliating defeat in sukuna's hands in their first life and now they want to get back at him

then of course there's the high-but-not-really stakes of culling game but my brain is fried at this point. sorry. im sure u understand. id kill yuta to keep the stake high. he already has his character and story arc completed anyway, much like nanami

then, have the next arc focuses on tsukumo, she's talkative and blunt so it wouldnt be unnatural if we get more insight on the world she seeks through her own words. as well as the situation on the college ever since shibuya and everything the higher-ups pulled to stomp down anyone that they felt was a threat for them. particularly yaga's execution. gege if you kill gakuganji before we see yaga's curse for him i will be. very mad

[rockstar-chuck]

Im going to make a long post on my thoughts about 2.0:

Honestly, i feel like there were ways cec could have moved on from animatronics to live shows that were much better.. i think the biggest crime is the minimalism and, in my opinion, somewhat ugly design choices of 2.0. All the previous stages often had nice decor and themes, and the whole store would have nice artwork on the walls and nicely designed signs. It looked pretty busy at times, but as a kid, it was fun. It stuck in my brain as a 'fun thing' more than any boring, minimalist design would have.

Here is some comparisons. I will say i think the colorfulness of the design in the top middle picture is okay i guess, but the fact that theyre just... silhouettes... makes them a little bland. The bottom middle is actually from my childhood location that had a studio c when i was a kid. It had a lot more decor, lights decorating the stages, and studio c had a lot of fun gimmicks like the blue screen and cameras. Not only that, but with the animatronics being out all the time, even when there was no show id frequently go back to look at our studio c chuck and watch him or even pretend to talk with him with my siblings. What happens when theres no live show going on in a 2.0??? Sure kids might want to dance on the light up stage by themselves, but.. I remember i liked to dance in the party room just fine WITHOUT the encouragement of a glowing square on the ground lol.

The problem is, cec just seems to be downgrading every bit of itself. They're remodeling, sure, but taking out every ounce of personality. From what ive seen from my converted local locations, theyre even taking out about half of the games per location for whatever reason. Theyre removing the animatronics and replacing them with a ~fancy glowing screen~ on the ground, which seems to also mean chuck e's presence in Chuck E. Cheese's itself will be reduced to tv skits that can just be played from youtube anyways and an occasional dance from an employee that isnt being paid enough to put on a performance (not an insult to the employees that dance with no enthusiasm in a fricken cec mascot suit, its just something ive noticed at every location ive been to recently and i wish cec either paid them more and/or hired people who were like. Performers. So that it actually seemed worth the trade of animatronics)

What they could have done was, like i just said, actually make their emphasis on performance mean something, especially if it wont be out for the kids to see constantly like the animatronics were. Hire dancers, and pay them more or something, do whatever disneyland does for their mascot wearers. Heck, i remember cec used to try to be on par with disneyland, but i guess it became too expensive for them or something because theyre not trying to be a fantastic, magical experience anymore. They just seem to be doing the bare minimum to "upgrade". I know animatronics are expensive, i know remodeling stores is expensive, but i just dont understand why theyve decided to renew cec with something so bland... wheres the creativity, wheres the fun? Why couldnt they have come up with an innovative and fun way to upgrade the stores that were becoming old and broken, why did it have to be like this?

[ganymedesclock]

Ooh ooh ooh, how about your version of Sonic for the powers thing?

You see, Sonic is fast, because if he doesn't keep ahead of his problems, he'll have to actually think about them, and then he'll have a crisis.

This is partially a fun opener joke and it's also not. I'll let you decide how much of each it is. In the meantime, I'm going to talk about what my reads of various canons inspire in me, and how that informs Worlds AU, a bit more than talking about Worlds AU itself.

So Sonic in the initial game canon, started out with an extremely simple conceit. You can see this mirrored across all of the non-Amy classic characters: Sonic runs, that's his thing; Tails flies, Knuckles punches, Eggman makes robots and also problems, which sort of condenses into one thing considering the role robots have in the classic games.

(that damn caterkiller has cost me SO many attempts at a chaos emerald...)

This sort of got to be a problem as the games advanced. In particular, the Sonic game I started on was Sonic Adventure 2, which pitted Sonic very prominently off of Shadow. At this point, character concepts are no longer about simple capabilities, and every other member of the cast has grown up. (even Amy... though not too much. sorry Amy). Tails is now building robots to go with how his flight allows him to reach unconventional 'tricky' routes; Knuckles is now more of an adventurer, explorer, and even a mystic given his history and relationship with the emeralds. This earthly pugilist sense grounds him in a more versatile skill-set.

Sonic... basically his gimmick was remaining true to the classic formula- he was still the one going fast, popping those shuttle loops, and tumbling through a chaotic universe. Yes, they absolutely polished this and put flourishes on it- now he's grinding rails and flipping on poles, this sense of street-smart parkour that carries him cheekily through any environment...

But he's played off Shadow, where the thing about Shadow, especially in the first game, is Shadow is a person who suppresses most of his personality for his context. Not in an inorganic or badly written sense, mind- but he outright says to Rouge at one point that it doesn't matter if anything he remembers is fake- in essence, that it's more real than he is, and a dead person's wish is more important than his life.

Shadow is a soldier, is an alien, is a bioweapon, is a teleporter and he shoots lasers. We are beyond the days of simple conceits; if he was conceived in the classic era, he'd have probably been either only a jet-skater or a teleporter, and that one conceit about how he moved through the world would've been through everything.

Sonic picks up the chaos control from Shadow- in direct reaction to Shadow- and this is commented on. In this scene, Sonic not only rejects Shadow's unhealthy obsession with context- that where he came from was everything- but mirrors it with an attitude that, frankly, to me, rings just as unbalanced- Sonic basically denies having a backstory whatsoever.

"What you see is what you get!" he says.

And that flew in the classic era. We didn't really have a consistent or strongly-drawn backstory over why Sonic was fast. Most continuities around that era point it to either an accident or a happenstance synergy with an outside force. But we didn't really need a story over why Tails can fly or why Knuckles had spurs on his fists.

But in the modern era... there's context. Many characters have superpowers. And more and more, there was a sense that those superpowers had context and history, whether the outright spelled, like Shadow (he was engineered to be capable of this; if you look at him, he has most of the abilities you'd expect of a boss fight in Resident Evil, minus the squelchy, infectious sorts and the Black Arms imply he could well have those and just not use them)

...or the simply alluded, such as Blaze's ominous comment that her flames are the reason she was always alone.

Sonic... clearly has powers. He's been reframed to keep up with he setting as it changes. But that exchange between him and Shadow- where Shadow looks at what Sonic is capable of, looks at him, and asks, verbatim, "what are you," and Sonic delivers a non-answer so naked and so certain that there's not really anything to say to that.

To this end, while I think it's highly intuitive that they picked the wind as the motif to spice Sonic up to- with its sense of freedom, and with its association with speed- I think there's also something about air in general that connects to Sonic.

Air is... omnipresent. It has an extremely complex seething system high overhead. Enormous paths and belts and spirals of wind curl over us all the time, pushing clouds the size of entire states around like it's nothing. When you look at the sky, it looks stationary. But wait, squint- it's actually moving. It's actually moving really fast.

One of my absolute favorite characterizing moments of Sonic is in Archie Comics, specifically the post-reboot series. To keep context minimal, Tails confides in Sonic that he's losing his memory of a certain incident that affected both of them, and he's worried; Sonic reassures him, typical hero big brother best friend, and gives him a big hug. The scene is warmly lit.

The very next panel is literally in the shadows, over Tails' shoulder and behind his back. And Sonic's expression is... troubled. Telling. We immediately understand from that alone he just lied, and has no ability to 'just remember for Tails'.

Sonic is not a vacuous person. He's not empty, he's not innocent, and he's certainly not just your same good nostalgic friend who never changed or got complicated so you don't have to reevaluate all of those things- the guy you can always count on, just like the sky is always there- but he sure pretends to be all of those things, and tries to keep the stormy weather as far away from other people as possible.

This is given another heroic-sounding-but-actually-concerning context in Sonic Unleashed, one of several games in which Sonic shows a maybe suspicious but profound aptitude for darkness where he guzzles and serves as a very powerful conduit for the energy of Dark Gaia, who is strongly connoted with rage, despair, denial, and other states considered bad for your health.

Sonic asks Chip- who he's just found out is Dark Gaia's counterpart- if it was his protection that kept him from losing his mind the entire time. Chip denies this, and states instead it's that "you never let the darkness win."

The thing is... anger and sadness are actually pretty important to feel. And it's actually not true that Sonic as a character doesn't feel anger- there's a few rather notable scenes in which he really loses his cool, some of them within Sonic Unleashed itself (he actually scares Eggman at the culmination of the Egg Dragoon fight) and in the game Sonic and the Secret Rings he actually achieves a super form powered by negative emotions- and that game also ends on a surprisingly melancholy note, where Shahra, when leaving Sonic, specifically gives him a bunch of tissues, a nod to how they met, and specifically "So you can cry as much as you need to."

Sonic is a good person. But Sonic is also... kind of a liar. He has this powerful connection to these highly destructive and dangerous entities- Dark Gaia, Chaos- and this is a thing he, pointedly, doesn't wonder about. And it's not arrogance, or an inability to consider the possibilities- in Sonic Colors he is very real with himself that he can't outrun a black hole, but only admits that once Tails is out of earshot on the one safe ride away from it- and while gearing up to try to do so anyway.

Wind is a contradictory thing. In the sky, we consider the possibility of ultimate freedom; flight and wings are often depicted as symbols of enormous power and efficacy because the very notion of being able to go wherever you want to captivates us.

On the other hand, though, a state of freefall is terrifying. In the unparalleled freedom of the sky, absolutely nothing can catch you if you fall.

(you know, except Tails, if you're fighting Eggman in Marble Garden- I'll leave)

We can talk about a bolt from the blue, a sudden storm or a just-as-sudden clear blue sky... the mechanisms of the air around us are often very hard to perceive for their superficial simplicity. And on sunny days when the wind lazes slowly through the leaves, it's hard to think of it as capable of hurricane forces.

I guess the note I want to leave this on is, it's pretty interesting how Sonic genuinely likes running, but he also tends to either outrun or fight anything that stresses him out- and "what he is" and "what he's capable of" is something he really doesn't like talking about even if he's happy to show or compete it.

[tyrantisterror]

The ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3-D: Entry Roundup

You’ve been patiently waiting for the results of the ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3-D, and now... you have to wait a bit longer, but at least you’ve got an entry roundup with lots of sketches and a good bit of feedback for all the entrants!  My goal is to get the finalists illustrated in a week or two, and after that, the grand prize winner will be announced.  But, for now, the official entry roundup!  After the cut:

I should note that while I sketched these in the order they were submitted, my scanner saved the documents with random names, so they’re a bit jumbled.  You know, just in case you’re like me and would get confused noticing that it’s almost in chronological order but with some entries jumbled around.

@bugcthulhu’s Obsideban was designed as a counterpart to Rohobaron - the Black King to Rohobaron’s Red King, if you will.  Or, well, Black Queen in this case, as Obsideban also takes her personality from the “delinquent girl” archetype in Japanese media.  Bug’s designs always ooze personality, and I had a lot of fun translating this big, gnarly retrosaur into my own style.

@toothlessloveshiccup‘s Argonox is the first - but far from the last - monster in this breakdown that brings in a bit of fantasy influence to ATOM’s roster.  A golden-fleeced ram with a vicious streak, this sheep is both treasure and dragon at once.  And while it wasn’t written in the monster’s profile, given the Yamaneon-rich nature of its wool, Argonox might be able to replicate the healing power of the golden fleece too!  A very fun mammalian kaiju and excellent entry.

@highly-radioactive-nerd submitted Gunmetal Jeeves, a robot butler who can gigantomax��temporarily create a holographic/hard light version of himself to fight kaiju.  That detail was a late revision added to the entry before the contest’s deadline, made after the creator realized that ATOM allows for some truly ludicrous bullshit, which is something everyone should exploit when making entries for this in my opinion.  Also, this is a robot butler who can size shift.  Revel in its awesome absurdity!

Ultranerd submitted Rajasaurus, a dimetrodon-like synapsid kaiju with electric powers.  His origin specifies that the electric powers are a result of the volatile nature of the Yamaneon deposits he mutated under, which is an interesting idea.  That’s another theme that cropped up a lot in this contest’s entries, actually - people really wanted to play with what Yamaneon can do.

Case in point, @polygonfighter’s Yamaneolith takes the Monolith Monsters homage at the heart of Yamaneon even more apparent.  I like the implication that there is a second mineral-based lifeform at the root of this Yamaneon cluster’s anomalous behavior - a parasite, perhaps?  It brings up some interesting possibilities.

@ariccio50 submitted Kukulkuzana, and damn is this a cool spin on the body plan of my martians.  I made a few changes here and there (splitting its tail into two is probably the biggest one), but tried to keep true to the original design, because holy hell is it gorgeous.  The idea that this is a mountain-dwelling creature is really intriguing to me, as it looks like a sea creature, but at the same time, that flexible and low-slung build WOULD work pretty well in mountains, and it’s just the right mix of plausible weirdness that makes for a fun alien design.

@akitymh submitted Aramzados, a Venusian monster that’s basically an organic hot rod car.  I like the idea of organic machinery being the gimmick for Venusian kaiju, and Aramzado’s does it subtly enough to not feel like that gimmick is the sole thing going for it.  I especially love this monster’s stange, apparently mouth-less blade-beaked face.

@virovac submitted Rurzar and Zar Rider, a Beyonder kaiju and mecha (respecitvely) that were both modified and repurposed by humans reverse engineering Beyonder technology to make, like, a motorcycle-saurus essentially.  It is a delightfully absurd concept, and a very, very detailed one (13 pages of description).  There’s a dark undercurrent beneath the sillyness, though, as this pair show that humanity might still be following the same path as the Beyonders before them.

@dinosaurana brings us Krangor, a humanoid monstrosity of living kelp!  The goal here was to create a Jack Kirby-esque monster dude, complete with the gibberish name and all.  He’s also made out of kelp, which feels very classic 1950′s monster-y despite me not being able to think of any monsters that were explicitly made of kelp.  I love him.

@kiryuthechimera submitted Genkakurah, a psychic retrosaur with some draconic features.  Though his substantial powerset is probably the biggest distinguishing feature of this kaiju (given that most ATOM kaiju pretty much have the same standard powers), what really draws me to him is that reptilian pseudo-beard.  It’s just a fun detail!

@glarnboudin submits Tiratola, and see, there’s that fantasy influence again!  Even more explicitly dragon-y than Kraydi, Tiratola still manages to toe the line between sci-fi and fantasy enough to fit ATOM as is while still cementing its ties to my own slice of fantasy fiction.  Man it’s good I’m doing a Midgaheim book next, huh?

@dragonzzilla submitted Scuttlebutt/Argonautilus, a hermit crab kaiju who lives in/with a hollowed out mecha.  That’s a twist I can’t recall ever hearing before, and the idea of a kaiju and a mecha having an equal partnership that doesn’t involve one being grafted to the other is really intriguing to me.  A very unique concept!

@evolutionsvoid submitted Fleagor, an enormous flea who has no idea what to do with itself now that there’s no creature large enough for it to parasitize.  I love that concept - it takes the core idea of the giant bug kaiju archetype (i.e. unsettling the audience by showing how terrifying small, “insignificant” creatures would be if our sizes were reversed) and really turns it on its head.  The name also plays on the Universal Monsters, who were a huge part of 1950′s pop culture thanks to their movies being re-released in that era, so all and all this one is very on brand for ATOM!

@skarmorysilver submitted Lilacorn, another entry that plays up that Midgaheim/ATOM connection.  Reinterpreting the mythological unicorn as an Cenozoic wooly rhinoceros-inspired monster gives it a very unique look, both in ATOM and in the general world of unicorns, and she has a bad-girl with a heart of gold personality to boot!

dracosaurus-rex submitted Florasaura, a two-headed plant/retrosaur hybrid monster.  I love me some plant monsters, I love me some retrosaurs, and I love me some rhyming the word “flora” with other words that contain similar vowell sounds, so this one has me written all over it!

@downtofragglerock submitted Sauroguana, a delightfully odd flying retrosaur.  There’s a great deal of charm to the original illustration that this sketch doesn’t quite capture - it’s a deceptively simple design with a lot of personality in it, and with those unique leg-wings it really doesn’t need a whole lot of frills to stand out.

Draxi submitted Brakan, an unimpressive burrowing retrosaur kaiju whose mastery of illusions allows it to convince other kaiju it’s actually a big, super-powerful badass that’s the ultimate fighter in the universe.  It’s a delightful parody of the concept of a fan self-insert god-mode character, with a really fun story built into it to boot!

@quinnred submitted O.N.I.A.C., a mysterious cocooned kaiju whose chrysalis has been turned into an organic computer of sorts by the people studying it, and seems to possess a fairly advanced intelligence for a kaiju.  It’s a really bizarre and ominous idea, with built in intrigue given how vague its nature is.  Is it just a kaijufied butterfly/moth who got stuck mid transformation?  A relative of the Mothmanuds?  Something else, perhaps equally alien?  Good story potential here.

shadyserpent submitted Vespilitor, a bat/retrosaur hybrid made by the nefarious Spooks Organization.  A mercurial prankster whose tendency to stir up trouble never crosses the line into maliciousness, he’s the kind of monster who would make a great foil to a lot of ATOM’s cast.  I’d especially like to see him in a prank off with Ahuul - it’d be like Bugs Bunny fighting Daffy Duck, but on a kaiju scale.

@multiversefan submitted the Yamaneon King, a nomadic kaiju whose refusal to settle down causes problems as he stirs up trouble at kaiju sanctuaries all over the globe by showing up unannounced and stirring up the locals.  He was basically designed to be a monster that the kaiju sanctuary initiative would struggle to deal with, which is a good idea for a post-ATOM Volume 2 story conflict.

Sir K submitted Jadeera, a kirin kaiju that can actually forcibly convert most of its body to Yamaneon to enter a dormant, statue-like state in a loose homage to King Shisa.  Though the fantasy elements are far more present than I usually prefer for ATOM kaiju, I think it should be noted they’re pushed that far for a purpose - a theme in Jadeera’s entry, which continues where its creator left off with their submission to the previous ATOM create a kaiju contest (Yokaigon), is that the world of kaiju is more complicated and challenging than many are willing to accept, which is a theme in ATOM itself.  Yokaigon’s more supernatural/occult powers are based on the ghost parascience of my setting, which ATOM has delved into a bit (Pathogen being the big example), so it’s not as out of left field as some might think.

@cerothenull​ brings us our final entry (unless some got lost thanks to tumblr’s shitty tagging system), the flying spider Naeranti.  She’s a kaiju spider who uses silk to make complicate hot-air balloons, more or less, and that’s just delightful.  ATOM could always use more spider-monsters, and with a really unique gimmick backing up a wonderfully distinct look, Naeranti is sure to stand out among her fellow giant arachnids.

Well, that’s the roundup!  In a week (or two, depending on how much my hand cramps) we’ll have the five finalists, and sometime after that, the grand prize winner!

[zehecatl]

rec post for @f-eef that got too long for its own good, and is now just. a general rec post i guess

(as of writing, today is the steam summer sale! writing this before that goes live, so no guarantee everything on here is on sale, but! most of these are older games, so it’s likely. keep them in mind~)

- Iconoclasts my absolute favourite game, ever (along with OFF, but shh), if you check out one game from this list, let it be this one. it’s a genuinely almost flawless package, with gorgeous pixel art, fun gameplay, a really good story, and a cast of characters i just. adore. it’s so so so good, and three years later, i’m still not over it

- The Binding of Isaac so there’s this genre called roguelikes, wherein the whole gimmick is that, when you die, you gotta start from the Very Beginning; and the ‘point’ is getting better and better at the game, until you win! it’s super easy to just, play a few runs (they generally don’t last that long!), and then go on with your day, so it’s a really fun game to just waste time in, if you just wanna chill with some game. and, in my personal opinion, Isaac is the best roguelike game, with so much stuff to unlock, a whole slew of items to play with, and so much content it’s kind of unreal. i definitely think the DLCs are worth picking up, but it’s mostly for more content than like. actually being necessary

- Terraria it’s minecraft, but 2D. unlike MC, it’s got a bit of guidance, which i personally prefer, with bosses to fight and such. an absolutely BLAST with other people too

- A Hat in Time a 3D platformer, ala Mario, that’s just. super charming. it’s also really fun to play. i haven’t actually played the DLC’s, since i played it way back, but i’ve heard good things about Nyakuza Metro, which does look super slick, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- Slime Rancher you are a slime rancher. you ranch slimes. it’s honestly just wholesome as hell, and just exudes happy vibes. mostly for running around and collecting slimes, ngl

- The Messenger really funky retro game, wherein you play a ninja on a mission. it’s primary draw is definitely in its gameplay, but there’s a surprising amount of story for this kind of genre? i honestly really just like this one. it’s neat

- Underhero you play as a cute minion, who kind of like. managed to kill the hero. and whoops, guess you’re doing his job now? it’s got that undertale vibe, though i’d say it’s less polished than it. HOWEVER, it’s absolutely lovely and it’s climax is REALLY good

- Hatoful Boyfriend bird dating sim. trust me. the ‘secret’ finale route is just. *chef’s kiss* fantastic

- Night in the Woods if you don’t mind having a very poignant sad time, oh my god, i could not recommend NITW more. it perfectly captures that period when you’re done with school, and suddenly your whole life is stretching before you, and you feel so so fucking lost, and overwhelmed and pained with it. it’s just. so good. a sadness worth experiencing 

- Shovel Knight another retro game! this one is, pretty much, the king of the genre, and for very good reasons. the first one (shovel of hope) doesn’t have much story, but the latter ones really add on it. they’re honestly just, really solid games! with funky knight characters!!!

- Hyper Light Drifter man, it’s just a masterpiece. everything about it is perfect. it’s been like, five years, and it’s still one of the very best indie games

- Tell Me Why it’s currently free for june! and it’s a story game! plus, if you like the genre, the devs got the ‘Life Is Strange’ serie(s) to delve into!

- Cat Quest honestly, i just really like this little game. the gameplay is SO much fun, and everything else is just. really charming :’)

- Yoku’s Island Express metroidvania, where you play as a dung-beetle post officer, and the gimmick is that it’s pinball-y! it’s really fun, and very cute and just an all around good time :)

- Owlboy you play as an owl boy! named Otus! and you can fly around, and there’s GORGEOUS pixel graphics, and a neat story, and just. the BEST cast of characters. it’s delightful

- Yuppie Psycho + Count Lucanor just gonna bundle these two together, because they’re both REALLY GOOD. YP is the newer one, and is therefore probably ‘the better one’, but i like them both a ton! they’re 2D horror, but i wouldn’t say they’re that spooky? though that might just be because they’re pixel games! you explore spooky place, and weird stuff happens around you. just a really fun time :)

- Angels of Death my FAVOURITE rpgmaker game, it’s main draw is, a 100%, the main characters and the relationship that develops between them. i just love it a whole lot, and it’s got that lil’ tinge of horror that i, personally, fucking adore. there’s actually an anime based on this, but i haven’t seen it myself!

- Celeste curve ball! it’s a 2D platformer! it’s really good, got a ton of accessibility features, and has like. the tightest gameplay- and, on top of that, surprisingly emotional story! 

- Bastion putting Bastion here, because it’s actually the only one i’ve properly played, but you could probably buy any of the Supergiant Games, and come out satisfied. Bastion is the oldest of the bunch, and is definitely a bit less polished for it, but i personally adore it; the gameplay probably hasn’t aged that well, but i think the story and presentation more than makes up for it

- The Darkside Detective funny point and click adventure, with great wit, and a pair of characters i kind of simply adore. it’s main draw is definitely its humour

- Littlewood very wholesome and chill farming game, that feels more like an RPG than something like stardew valley- i’d not recommend it over SV, but if you want more of SV, Littlewood might scratch that itch!

- Pony Island + The Hex absolutely adore both of these, though if i had to rec only one, it’d probably be Pony Island? they’ve both got that undertale-off vibe, though Pony Island definitely leans harder into it. very interesting plays, both of them

- Oxenfree another horror-ish game! primarily story-focused, but oh boy, what a story! i’m a BIG fan of this game, and the sequel was recently announced too! definitely worth a look if you like ghost shenanigans

- Creature in the Well wasn’t a 100% sure if i should rec this, but beside the finale boss, i really enjoyed my time with this! it’s this weird pinball inspired hack and slash, with some amazing vibes

- Kindergarten 1 + 2 they’re just fun little games okay. the 2nd is much more fleshed out, but the 1st one is really fun too

- the Henry Stickmin collection I JUST... LIKE THESE GAMES A LOT... i think you can find the old versions somewhere on the internet, if you wanna check them out first? idk, they’re fun!

- LIMBO + INSIDE personally, i like INSIDE more, but both of these are classics, and also they’re made by a danish team, and i like them a WHOLE LOT

- The Final Station i could not tell you why i like this game as much as i do, but oh my god. i love this game? it’s got a dying world, neat pixel graphics, big zombie apocalypse vibes, and a weird little story

- Year Walk i love Year Walk :)

- Smile For Me if you liked undertale’s lovely cast of characters, oh boy, you’d likely LOVE this game! it’s really, really, fantastic, and the epilogue (not in the actual game lol) hit me right in the feels

- Pikuniku just a fun little game! there’s not really much there, in the grand scheme of things, but it’s a wonderful little play, one of those games that just sets out to give you a good time, and absolutely success. i like it a lot :’)

- A Short Hike wonderful game, where it’s more about exploring the island than actively finishing the game. it’s real wonderful

- ULTRAKILL ANOTHER CURVEBALL! no idea if you like FPS, but oh my god. ULTRAKILL is so fucking good. just an absolute blast to play. there’s a demo to check out, and i’d definitely recommend it, because if it’s a genre you might like, you’ll love this one (OH also it’s in early access, which means it’s not finished yet! personally, i don’t mind that, especially considering this is more gameplay focused, but ya’ know!)

- My Friend Pedro it’s honestly just really fun to play, and sometimes i still think about the implied lore, and go all !!!!

- Little Misfortune another point and click! this one is pretty short, and is set within the same universe as their other game, Fran Bow, which is much bigger, but idk. i like this one. it’s dark cute

- This Strange Realm of Mine i honestly dunno how to explain this one, because it’s kind of weird and a bit odd, but i really like it, in all its weird poetic glory. it’s neat!

- Donut County you’re a terrible racoon who’s ruined the whole city with holes. it’s great and i love it

- OneShot another ‘gives me undertale vibes’, though this one was in development before UT, if i recall correctly! it’s so good, and it’s got some fantastic meta bits, and i love Niko. i love Niko so much

- Inmost gorgeous vaguely spooky game with a neat story... my favourite genre

- Sayonara Wild Hearts i’d call this more of a spectacle than anything else, but oh my god. what a spectacle it is! the OST is amazing, everything about it just hits right, and even if you suck at the gameplay (which i did), it really doesn’t matter, in my opinion? it’s just great all around!

[chongoblog]

Zero Time Dilemma Review/Ramble

Okay, so if you’ve been following me, you know that I’ve gotten into the Zero Escape series, famous for 999 and Virtue’s Last Reward, streaming both games. I recently took the time to experience the last game, Zero Time Dilemma by watching cutscenes rather than playing it proper mostly because A) I heard it was REALLY dark and didnt want to risk it on Twitch and B) I wanted to experience it more freely like while I’m at work.

After experiencing it. I have......feelings about it. And because there’s MASSIVE spoilers involved, I’m making it its own post under the ReadMore below.

tl;dr LOADS of bullshit, flawed execution, and stupid decisions, but still REALLY enjoyed it

Okay so a LOT of this is going to be complaining, and like I said in the tl;dr I still legit enjoyed this game, so I’m gonna make this a compliment sandwich by saying something nice now, loading up on complaints, then ending with more compliments. Carlos is good. So is Sean. Sigma being voiced by Matthew Mercer actually makes him more interesting imo. I REALLY like Phi’s new design and the way they build on the initial concepts brought up in VLR more accurately portray the ideas that started all the way back in 999, that being the idea of taking thoughts across timelines, just like the player. From the beginning, the theme/gimmick was always “what if your character remembered information when you savescummed?” In 999 that began as flashes of information, and in VLR the characters’ consciousness actually time traveled at the very end. ZTD now uses the idea of the consciousness traveling across time and space and RUNS with it. I also think that Delta has a cool design.

I’ll be nice again later, but now for the things I Did Not Like.

Emo Moody Junpei makes sense from a writing standpoint, but that doesn’t mean I have to like him. Maybe I just got spoiled since Evan Wilson did a spectacular job with his deliveries in 999 and in ZTD it seems like his soul got sucked out. Not the fault of the delivery as much as it is the writing. Eric is bad, and I feel like that statement isn’t controversial. I don’t think anyone likes Eric, and if you do, then sorry for shitting on him so much, but god I just don’t like him. And the abusive childhood thing doesn’t give me a drop of sympathy, but then again I’ve always hated the writing trick that “this person is shitty and pathetic but it’s because abuse!” (see also Mikan). Diane is boring (sorry).

But I fuuuuuckin HATE Mira. I hate Mira so much. Like, at first I thought she’d be alright, yeah she’s definitely The Boob Character™, but I liked Lotus well enough and Alice grew on me significantly, so I don’t see why Mira won’t. Then she’s like “surprise I’m a serial killer”. Now if they just made her a serial killer, it would be kinda boring so I’m glad they TRIED something new. I just think the result was bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad. Like....”hmm I never felt any emotions so when my mom told me they were kept in hearts I just ripped em out of people :)” is some garbage I’d write in middle school when I felt especially edgy. Also yeah seems p ableist. I won’t go too deeper into Mira, since she’s a sociopath and I don’t know enough about the actual disorder to put a candle to the real thing, but....bleh.

I won’t touch on THIS aspect for too long because I’m aware that it had barely any budget and it wouldn’t have happened without a kickstarter (don’t know the details), but the animation is just....so stiff. It really takes away from the dramatic impact some scenes are meant to have. But even IF the animation wasn’t stiff, I still am not a big fan of the darker and moodier direction it went. Although that’s moreso down to personal preference. Final note about the presentation (which is by far the game’s weakest aspect) is that I noticed multiple points in the sound mixing got to nearly Sonic Adventure 2 levels of being unable to understand what people were saying.

Alright. Now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Let’s talk about Delta. This is going to make up a MAJORITY of this post so strap in.

Delta is a meme. There’s no other way to say it briefly. He’s just such a huge fucking meme. Almost everything about him, from his plan to his “complex” motives to his backstory to his powers. I mentioned liking his design, but fuck it. That’s a meme now too. Delta is the stupidest part of the game, and as much as I kind of love it, I also need to complain about it.

First let’s talk about Delta’s plan (because it starts with the nicest part of this segment). His motives are “complex” which is actually greek for “he’s probably either a liar, an idiot, or both”. I said there was nice things, so I’ll start with those. The very ending’s “ah ah ah. I never killed any of you in this timeline. If you arrested someone for crimes of another history, there would be criminals everywhere” was something I actually legitimately enjoyed. Yeah, intent was still there and he’s still a bastard (plus there was kidnapping and non-consensual drugging involved so kind of a stupid take), but I still thought it was a fun attempt. And also the “I had to make sure I was born” thing is a mindfuck, and I love those. Basically the first retort is “well I’m alive, right? So I don’t need to make sure I was born with powers because I WAS born with powers, which means it happened in another universe. So I don’t have to.” Only to then realize that we’re just in the universe where he DID do that but then the only justification is “someone had to” right? Wrong. Let’s talk about the rest of his “complex” motives

So I give a pass to “I had to make sure I was born”, but now we see why he had to do this whole deal and what he declares at the end of the game. That there’s some religious fanatic who intends to blow up the world and completely end humanity. And he released Radical-6 in the VLR timeline hoping that it would kill the terroris only killing 4 billion people instead of 6 billion people. In the timeline at the end of ZTD, he says that they had used this experience to hone the skills of the Shifters that way they could use their newly honed take down the religious fanatic WITHOUT Radical-6 and save the world.

What?

Now......before I tear into this.....I have ONE nice thing to say. The “unleash radical 6 and kill 4 billion vs let a terrorist end humanity” gambit IS cleverly foreshadowed with the radical 6 decision game with Q Team. But also wouldn’t that have made, like 1800 times more narrative sense to give that decision game to team D who KNOWS the impact of radical 6, or team C who he explains this plan to later on? Damn, even my nice thing was backhanded. Alright let’s REALLY tear into it.

FIRST of all, this is the exact same plot of Virtue’s Last Reward. Only difference is that somehow Akane and Junpei are just as skilled at this technique as Sigma and Phi despite the latter going to do Moon Training (granted the moon training was also to give them enough of a jump to go back 45 years). Speaking of Virtue’s Last Reward, this game also reveals that Delta is Brother, the leader of Free the Soul. A group of religious fanatics. So I wouldn’t be especially shocked if the religious fanatic is working with Free the Soul. But for the sake of this argument, let’s just say they aren’t with FtS. How in the Flavor-Blasted FUCK does he know this? Did somebody Shift back from that timeline and then just get Mind hacked (and we’ll fUCKING talk about Mind Hacking dont you worry)? How would that be the only piece of information known about the end of the god damn world? And if there IS more, then why the fuck wouldn’t you tell them the information? How does he know that it’s inevitable when apparently a god damn snail can unleash Radical-6?

I call bullshit on the “religious fanatic” thing. Wanna know why? Because at this point, Delta had already founded Free The Soul. He started this shit in 1938. At this point in time, he and the rest of the Free the Soul had already kidnapped Alice’s dad to create clones of his dead brother. He was pushing for a new world order and then in the VLR timeline, tried to PREVENT this whole thing from happening by sending Dio to the Moon. So if he actually gave a shit about “honing their abilities” then why would he do everything in his power to stop it? There is ONE out that there can be, but it’s something not even HINTED at (and I’ll talk about this later), but I think that "religious fanatic” is a big ol’ lie that he made up to try and save face when he was faced with a consequence, but even that explanation makes no sense since he’s like “lol shoot me if u wanna I wont mind hack you”

And let’s talk about mind hacking. Let’s fucking talk about Mind Hacking. Adding Mind Hacking was stupid, completely pointless, out of left field, and actively makes Delta a worse character. For those that don’t know, Mind Hacking is an ability that only Delta has (and I guess the player character technically but that’s a whole meta thing from VLR that doesn’t get followed up on) where you can read people’s minds and also fuckin control them. Why? Why was this necessary, ZTD? You wanna know what I thought was really neat? When I saw that different timelines produced different X-Codes. I thought “oh shit, I know this is Game Stuff, but the sheer foresight of the villain to do that? That’s some Moriarty shit.” It would require some insane explanations, but we’ve had enough sci-fi that we could imagine with enough advanced tech, you could set up systems that could use conditionals to give certain responses based on certain outcomes. Like if someone dies after the decontamination room button is pressed, then the central computer outputs a different X-Code than if it’s after the initial vote. Just make up a new tech that accounts for Shifting (plus the QUANTUM COMPUTER you have RIGHT THERE) and you could make a villain with so much calculated foresight that he’s just a god damn genius. But no. Mind hacking. None of that interesting stuff, just “lol I read ur mind idiot”. No outwitting anyone, just “lol get mindhacked eric u scrub bang bang”.

Honest to god, honest to FUCKING god, do you want to know how cool the final cutscene would have made Delta look if he walked out and just KNEW what happened in another timeline because of his plans. Like everyone recognizes him as Delta and he just goes “ohoho I see you had a fun time in my other timeline” using that deduction alone. But nah, he’s just like “yo I just mindhacked y’all, nice experience y’all had” I hate mind hacking so much. There’s no part of his plan where he NEEDED to mind hack in order to succeed that could have been written without mind hacking.

Now there’s a bit of a missed opportunity here that could both make mind hacking relevant, made his motive not shit, and also maybe even developed him into a SUPER interesting character! I know this is a bit fanfic-y, but hear me out. Make Delta a VICTIM of the stable time loop/bootstrap paradox. For those who don’t know, the bootstrap paradox is when time travel makes certain events happen seemingly out of thin air since they are their own cause. Basically it’s this clip from Milo Murphy. This is something that seems like it’s KINDA there in the subtext, but if they actually dove into it, they could have a GOLD mine.

What if we keep the mindhacking, and before he even MAKES Free the Soul, he mindhacks someone who experienced the events of the “religious fanatic”. But not just anyone. An experienced SHIFTer who made it their goal to stop this religious fanatic. After hundreds of attempts, they still fail. Delta sees this and determines it to be inevitable. So he’s having fun, cursed by the knowledge of an inevitable apocalypse. Then he meets Akane, Phi, Sigma, or Junpei after they had undergone the events of VLR and ZTD. He learns that particular timeline. A bleak future, yes, but one single future where humanity is alive. He sees two futures, one in which all of humanity dies, and one where he is the leader of a religious cult that wipes out 4 Billion People with a deadly pandemic. And the idea of being that person disgusts him. He despises it. But he’s completely resigned to fate. He knows that things must go precisely as he’s seen at the price of humanity, too frightened by such a burden to even take a toe off of the predetermined pathway. His motive is that he’s so tightly bound to fate and so afraid to let it slip that he has no choice but to commit the atrocities, despising himself for it every step of the way, but considering it better than the inevitable alternative. It would give a purpose for the mindhacking powers, it would give him a solid motive, and it would make the ending SO much stronger, showing the contrast between a group of SHIFTers confident that they can change fate and the man who is completely resigned to his own. Fuck, I might steal this character concept because I REALLY think this idea would work to make an interesting villain!

Like I mentioned, this is KINDA there in subtext (with him quite frequently saying “life truly is unfair”) and this could be an interpretation of the character, but if ZTD had explored that theme, then holy hell what an interesting character Delta would be.

But even WITH this fix, holy hell, this plan is stupid. Because guess what, dingus. You just created like 30 new timelines that all end in annihilation.

He coulda said ONE line about “even if there is only one history that ends nicely, that is solace enough”, that might have been dark, but still powerful. You know, add some depth. But instead, he’s just like “hmm hmm shoot me”

And the Q Twist? I’m honestly not as mad at it as I should be. On one hand, it does that cute thing where there are little bits of foreshadowing so when you rewatch it, you notice little bits like shadows and stuff, but on the other hand, there are PLENTY of points where either the camera just straight up lies to you and doesn’t show him when he should be there or Delta’s just been fuckin SHMOOVIN on his wheelchair around the room constantly to stay out of the camera and everyone’s just been kinda chill with it. Maybe if they had been more careful with the camera it could have delivered a TOUCH better. Like, even if the shots are a bit off, that’s noticeable enough to be part of the hint, no? I don’t have as much to say about this, mostly because this post is getting long as fuck so I’m gonna wrap it up so I can move on with my life for a bit.

So even with ALL OF THAT, I still enjoyed playing the game. That’s right, compliment sandwich time. The three wards all being one ward was a really neat reveal. The fact that you can shoot Delta in one scene is creative with its replay value. I’m glad they touched on the philosophical idea of what happens to the people who made it out from the coin flip only to get SHIFTed into the exploding lab, and exploring that idea was fun. I absolutely lost my mind at the idea of the gun to sigmas head had a random chance of firing and then seeing it elaborated on in the dice scene directly after it. Gab is a good boy.

Cant wait to play AI

[dukeofonions]

So I thought I’d try something a little different (and slightly more fun than my usual saltiness) and do my own little personal ranking of Sanders Sides episodes! 

Now I actually haven’t watched anything from the series for awhile so these rankings are going to be based purely on my own memories of each episode and how much I remember enjoying them. I’ll also be splitting the rankings up so I’ll do season one today and season two later on.

Eventually I want to go back and actually rewatch everything but I’ll probably wait until the season two finale comes out (whenever the heck that will be) but until then I think this will cover it.

Also important to note is that I will not be counting Asides in this since 

1. I’m salty

 2. It’s not supposed to be Sanders Sides anyway so why include it?

and 3. I’m very salty.

Alright, let the ranking begin!

Dang, can you believe season one has seventeen episodes? Starting with My True Identity on October 19th, 2016 and ending with Accepting Anxiety on July 15th, 2017. 

These episodes were a lot shorter too. The longest one, Growing Up, is only about 15 minutes long (14:39 to be exact because I already have the playlist pulled up to get all these references so I might as well use the info I have) and the shortest episode was Way Too Adult that barely makes it to the four minute mark. (Okay it’s 4:18 but that’s still closer to four) 

It’s really interesting to see how much the series changed just throughout season one alone, especially once it shifts from just being a silly series of one shots to a series with more fleshed out characters and beginning to scratch the surface of dealing with heavier topics. 

How did it do for me personally? Well if you made it this far I assume you actually want to know my opinion so I’ll go ahead and tell you...

For real now, let the ranking begin!

*cue drum roll*

#17 I'm in a Disney Show

Yeah this one is pretty forgettable, and it really sticks out like a sore thumb among the other episodes in this series since it’s based on something that happened in real Thomas’s life and later on they try to establish that Sanders Sides isn’t about real Thomas. Not only that there wasn’t much in this episode that stuck out as funny to me. The only bit I actually remember laughing at was when the Sides were throwing around click bait titles. 

So yeah, boring episode, feels out of place, moving on.

#16 Becoming a Cartoon

Like with the last one this one is just very forgettable to me. It also features someone who turned out to be a pretty shitty person so I can’t even watch it without feeling uncomfortable.

The only thing I remember laughing at was Patton holding a potato. 

#15 My True Identity

Okay I know it’s harsh putting the first episode so low on the list, especially when most of my problems with it stem from it being made before there were any intentions to make it a series, but like the first two it’s also kinda boring. I mean on it’s own it does a good job of introducing people to the basic idea of the series and gives an idea of what the characters are like, but they all basically act like the same person (yes I’m aware of the irony) with just one or two minor things to set them apart. 

Can’t really hate this one like the other two since, again, this was made with no intention of plot or character development, so it’s only this low because it doesn’t really stick out to me. But hey, it did its job at getting people interested in the characters so in that aspect it did its job perfectly.

#14 Taking On Anxiety

Oh the second hand embarrassment in this episode is too much to bear. Honestly any episode that has Thomas interacting with someone from real life just feels so weird to me and takes me out of the episode. However, I do actually have a bit more positive things to say about this one. The advice they give is actually helpful, and my gosh I love pre-AA Virgil. 

The snark, the sass, it’s easy to see why he became a fan favorite so fast. And fortunately for me, there’s plenty of episodes for me to love him in before I start to hate him. 

#13 Way Too Adult

This is gonna sound repetitive but again, forgettable. Doesn’t give me second hand embarrassment or make me feel negative in any way so that’s why it’s higher than the others. And hey, 13 is one of my favorite numbers so that’s gotta count for something right?

The best part of this episode is Patton, I really miss the earlier version of him where he actually took on more of a fatherly figure and had more of a serious side. Not that I don’t like him now and I still think he’s one of the better written in the series (more on that in another post) but it’s kinda nice to see him being portrayed in a way that doesn’t feel like he’s being dumbed down for laughs or is just sad and confused.

#12 The Mind vs The Heart

Or as I like to call it “Selfishness vs Selflessness in Five Minutes.” This episode is way too relatable which is both fun but also I don’t need the reminder that I can’t say “no” to people, but that’s a me problem not the episode’s. I like the format of using cutaways to show examples of how Logan and Patton clash in Thomas’s day to day life and honestly I wish they’d use it more since I think they only do it in this episode and in Growing Up but I could be wrong and I’m too lazy to check.

All in all this a cute little episode (and not cute for the reason you might think) and I enjoy it. 

#11 Accepting Anxiety Part One

Honestly not much to say about this one? It’s funny watching Thomas’s antics while the Sides have to try and figure out what’s going on. Which is a nice change of pace from the usual “The Sides are being goofy and zany and Thomas has to try and get them on track” that I kinda notice throughout season one and that starts to change to become the norm in season two, but I’ll get to that later. 

Reason this one isn’t as high as others is just because besides that one gimmick of Thomas saying and doing silly stuff is that there isn’t much beyond that, and of course that’s just because this is the first part of a two part episode so I’ll give it grace for that. Still a great set up though and is funny on its own. 

#10 The Dark Side of Disney

Alright, we’ve made it to the top 10! Here’s where things start to get interesting.

Personally, I find this episode hilarious because I do this kind of stuff to “kid’s films” all the time. Never to actual kids but to adults, it’s fun to see just how dark I’ll go. 

Of course this isn’t really what the episode does, it talks more about the messages in these movies as opposed to talking about how “dark” they are. Which, now that I look back I clicked on this episode thinking that it was going to be a part of the latter and had no idea it was a Sanders Sides episode. Maybe that’s how I found the series? I always forget which episode was my first...

Back to the episode, it also establishes Virgil and Roman’s little dynamic of being rivals and I love it. They have some of the best exchanges in the series and it’s fun watching them go head to head here, and even bonding a little as well. All in all, fun episode that provides some good character moments and some laughs. 

#9 A New Year of Lying to Myself... In Song!

Just the song, man. It slaps. 

But am I the only one miffed that Virgil technically got a villain song (about lying no less) and Janus didn’t? Not even an evil reprise? Yeah that’s some bull spit right there.

#8 Growing Up

Aw, the first name reveal episode on this list! This episode is a lot of fun, mostly because of the scenarios they come up with and the little cutaways they add in. Seriously. Just use these more instead of going to these great lengths to show us something that can be accomplished in six seconds of footage. 

It also has one of my favorite moments with Logan quietly asking Patton what they’re doing wrong after Thomas tries to force himself into the “serious adult role.” I really got a soft spot for this episode and honestly talking about it makes me wanna watch it again, but I’ll hold off for now. 

And I think Patton has one of the best name reveals. Like Thomas really thought his name was Pattoncake, and Patton’s reaction is priceless. I still want to know what “Pattoncake” actually is and how it’s played, but part of me also accepts that it’s probably better if we never know. 

#7 Making Some Changes

Why are Thomas’s friends so good at acting as Thomas acting as his characters? Seriously half the time when I watch this episode my brain doesn’t acknowledge that the Sides are now being played by different people until halfway through. 

This episode is one of the funniest in my opinion, and one I remember coming back to a lot. Do I still want an episode where the Sides pretend to be each other? Yes. Do I know it’ll probably never happen and if it did they’d find some way to just make it full of angst? Yes, yes I do.

#6 Alone on Valentine's Day

The first episode to be officially cowritten by Joan, and it’s great. It’s hilarious, and just seeing all the varying ways each Side tries to portray their idea of romance is the cherry on top. What more can I say about this episode other than I’m curious as to what Janus and Remus would have contributed to a conversation like this, maybe they’ll do another episode like this in the future with their inclusion, but who knows what the heck they’re doing at this point.

#5 Sanders Sides Q&A

Top 5 here we go!!! This is when ranking started to get difficult because I love all of these episodes so much. Especially this one. I think I’ve watched this one more than any of them and why not? It’s just pure goofball shenanigans and seriously, Thomas, why haven’t you done another one yet? Especially with Janus and Remus?! I mean I get if you’re waiting for “all the characters” but come on man! I need more of the energy this episode gives off.

#4 My Negative Thinking

This episode made me realize just how underrated Logan and Virgil’s relationship is. It’s also the second entry in the “Logan Fights Everyone” saga. I do love how this episode has actually helped me with my own negative thinking and I just freaking love Virgil’s sass in this. 

Did I mention I also love Logan and Virgil’s friendship? Ah, good times when they all more or less liked each other. 

#3 Losing My Motivation

The set up of this episode is just brilliant. Having it be a “mystery” for Logan to solve with Patton as his sidekick provided a lot of laughs and one of my favorite Logan moments with his little bit he does after realizing he was the “culprit” in all of this. Ugh, I really wanna watch some of these episodes now but I’m gonna hold out. 

One thing is that I feel like Logan got the short end of the stick with his name reveal. Like Patton just casually calls him by his name like it’s no big deal, yet pretty much all of the other names are revealed after some kind of emotional moment and are treated as a big deal. If Patton was comfortable enough to just call Logan by his actual name and Logan himself was fine with it then why didn’t any of them introduce themselves before? There’s not really an explanation within the series itself as to why this is or why the Sides even have names in the first place, like it makes sense why Virgil or Janus would hide their names but Logan, Roman, and Patton have been there since day one so what gives?

My personal headcanon is that the three of them had a bet going on to see how long they could go without calling each other by their names in front of Thomas and Patton lost because he forgot. 

#2 Am I Original?

Look, Roman is my favorite so of course he’s up here! Not only that but this episode resonates with me a lot as a creative person, and I just love watching the Sides trying all the ideas Roman comes up with.

And his name reveal is also great, probably my favorite one, and of course it’s followed by the now infamous, “You’re my hero” line. But I’m just gonna ignore what became of that and focus on the fact that Roman was actually happy at the end of this episode.

#1 Accepting Anxiety Part Two

What can I say other than this was the perfect way to end this season? Virgil has been the outsider of the group since day one, and seeing him go from this snarky antagonist to gradually being tired with the role until he decides that it would be better if he just wasn’t around at all. This episode has some funny moments too, but what sticks out to me are the more emotional ones. 

Roman’s entire speech to Virgil is just *cheff’s kiss* perfection. Their relationship has finally come full circle and when Virgil smiles at him? Ah it’s so good!!! Like the music, the acting, all of it comes together so perfectly and it makes my heart happy. 

Virgil’s name reveal is also great, after being teased about it over and over again we finally get the real thing and it’s executed perfectly. Although my favorite thing about this episode is probably the end card, it’s so sweet and makes me all sentimental. Why? I dunno, I’m supposed to be heartless but I somehow find my heart melting when Patton gives Virgil the card anyway. Ah, I love Virgil’s relationships with the others by the end of this season, and honestly I would have been satisfied if this had been the end of it.

Just a neat little way to wrap up this neat little series. 

Of course we all know that wasn’t the case and oh boy things certainly took a turn, but that is for another post! 

And that was the first part of my ranking! Like I said this list might change once I go back and watch the series again, but I’m pretty sure things won’t change much then. 

I’m actually surprised at how many happy memories I have with the season, like I seriously want to just go back and watch my favorite episodes again because I’m all up in the nostalgia but again, I’ll hold off for now. 

I hope y’all enjoyed this and I’d be curious to see other people’s rankings of season one. I’m glad I was able to have fun with this and just gush about the series for awhile because oh boy I know things are gonna be very different once I get to season two...

[jenniferisacommonname]

Bonus Level Unlocked

This week marks the release of Jason Schreier’s Press Reset, an incredibly well-researched book on catastrophic business failure in the gaming industry. Jason’s a good dude, and there’s an excerpt here if you want to check it out. Sadly, game companies going belly-up is such a common occurrence that he couldn’t possibly include them all, and one of the stories left out due to space constraints is one that I happen to be personally familiar with. So, I figured I’d tell it here.

I began working at Acclaim Studios Austin as a sound designer in January of 2000. It was a tumultuous period for the company, including a recent rebranding from their former studio name, “Iguana Entertainment,” and a related, ongoing lawsuit from the ex-founder of Iguana. There were a fair number of ghosts hanging around—the creative director’s license plate read IGUANA, which he never changed, and one of the meeting rooms held a large, empty terrarium—but the studio had actually been owned on paper by Acclaim since 1995, and I didn’t notice any conflicting loyalties. Everyone acted as if we always had been, and always would be, Acclaim employees.

Over the next few years I worked on a respectable array of triple-A titles, including Quarterback Club 2002, Turok: Evolution, and All-Star Baseball 2002 through 2005. (Should it be “All-Stars Baseball,” like attorneys general? Or perhaps a term of venery, like “a zodiac of All-Star Baseball.”) At any rate, it was a fun place to work, and a platformer of hijinks ensued.

But let’s skip to the cutscene. The truth is that none of us in the trenches suspected the end was near until it was absolutely imminent. Yes, Turok: Evolution and Vexx had underperformed, especially when stacked against the cost of development, but games flop in the retail market all the time. And, yes, Showdown: Legends of Wrestling had been hustled out the door before it was ready for reasons no one would explain, and the New York studio’s release of a BMX game featuring unlockable live-action stripper footage had been an incredibly weird marketing ploy for what should have been a straightforward racing title. (Other desperate gimmicks around this time included a £6,000 prize for UK parents who would name their baby “Turok,” an offer to pay off speeding tickets to promote Burnout 2 that quickly proved illegal, and an attempt to buy advertising space on actual tombstones for a Shadow Man sequel.)

But the baseball franchise was an annual moneymaker, and our studio had teams well into development on two major new licenses, 100 Bullets and The Red Star. Enthusiasm was on the upswing. Perhaps I should have paid closer attention when voice actors started calling me to complain that they hadn’t been paid, but at the time it seemed more like a bureaucratic failure than an actual money shortage—and frankly, it was a little naïve of them to expect net-30 in the first place. Industry standard was, like, net-90 at best. So I was told.

Then one Friday afternoon, a few department managers got word that we’d kind of maybe been skipping out on the building lease for let’s-not-admit-how-many months. By Monday morning, everyone’s key cards had been deactivated.

It's a little odd to arrive at work and find a hundred-plus people milling around outside—even odder, I suppose, if your company is not the one being evicted. Acclaim folks mostly just rolled their eyes and debated whether to cut our losses and head to lunch now, while employees of other companies would look dumbfounded and fearful before being encouraged to push their way through the crowd and demonstrate their still-valid key card to the security guard. Finally, the General Manager (hired only a few months earlier, and with a hefty relocation bonus to accommodate his houseboat) announced that we should go home for the day and await news. Several of our coworkers were veterans of the layoff process—like I said, game companies go under a lot—and one of them had already created a Yahoo group to communicate with each other on the assumption that we’d lose access to our work email. A whisper of “get on the VPN and download while you can” rippled through the crowd.

But the real shift in tone came after someone asked about a quick trip inside for personal items, and the answer was a hard, universal “no.” We may have been too busy or ignorant to glance up at any wall-writing, but the building management had not been: they were anticipating a full bankruptcy of the entire company. In that situation, all creditors have equal standing to divide up a company's assets in lengthy court battles, and most get a fraction of what they’re owed. But if the landlords had seized our office contents in lieu of rent before the bankruptcy was declared, they reasoned, then a judge might rule that they had gotten to the treasure chest first, and could lay claim to everything inside as separate from the upcoming asset liquidation.

Ultimately, their gambit failed, but the ruling took a month to settle. In the meantime, knick knacks gathered dust, delivered packages piled up, food rotted on desks, and fish tanks became graveyards. Despite raucous protest from every angle—the office pets alone generated numerous threats of animal cruelty charges—only one employee managed to get in during this time, and only under police escort. He was a British citizen on a work visa, and his paperwork happened to be sitting on his desk, due to expire. Without it, he was facing literal deportation. Fortunately, a uniformed officer took his side (or perhaps just pre-responded to what was clearly a misdemeanor assault in ovo,) and after some tense discussion, the building manager relented, on the condition that the employee touch absolutely nothing beyond the paperwork in question. The forms could go, but the photos of his children would remain.

It’s also a little odd, by the way, to arrive at the unemployment office and find every plastic chair occupied by someone you know. Even odder, I suppose, if you’re actually a former employee of Acclaim Studios Salt Lake, which had shut down only a month or two earlier, and you just uprooted your wife and kids to a whole new city on the assurance that you were one of the lucky ones who got to stay employed. Some of them hadn’t even finished unpacking.

Eventually, we were allowed to enter the old office building one at a time and box up our things under the watchful eye of a court appointee, but by then our list of grievances made the landlords’ ploy seem almost quaint by comparison (except for the animals, which remains un-fucking-forgivable.) We had learned, for example, that in the weeks prior to the bankruptcy, our primary lender had made an offer of $15 million—enough to keep us solvent through our next batch of releases, two of which had already exited playtesting and were ready to be burned and shipped. The only catch was that the head of the board, company founder Greg Fischbach, would have to step down. This was apparently too much of an insult for him to stomach, and he decided that he'd rather see everything burn to the ground. The loan was refused.

Other “way worse than we thought” details included gratuitous self-dealing to vendors owned by board members, the disappearance of expensive art from the New York offices just before closure, and the theft of our last two paychecks. For UK employees, it was even more appalling: Acclaim had, for who knows how long, been withdrawing money from UK paychecks for their government-required pension funds, but never actually putting the money into the retirement accounts. They had stolen tens of thousands of dollars directly from each worker.

Though I generally reside somewhere between mellow and complete doormat on the emotional spectrum, I did get riled enough to send out one bitter email—not to anyone in corporate, but to the creators of a popular webcomic called Penny Arcade, who, in the wake of Acclaim’s bankruptcy announcement, published a milquetoast jibe about Midway’s upcoming Area 51. I told Jerry (a.k.a. “Tycho”) that I was frankly disappointed in their lack of cruelty, and aired as much dirty laundry as I was privy to at the time.

“Surely you can find a comedic gem hidden somewhere in all of this!” I wrote. “Our inevitable mocking on PA has been a small light at the end of a very dark, very long tunnel. Please at least allow us the dignity of having a smile on our faces while we wait in line for food stamps.”

Two days later, a suitably grim comic did appear, implying the existence of a new release from Acclaim whose objective was to run your game company into the ground. In the accompanying news post, Tycho wrote:

“We couldn’t let the Acclaim bankruptcy go without comment, though we initially let it slide thinking about the ordinary gamers who lost their jobs there. They don’t have anything to do with Acclaim’s malevolent Public Relations mongrels, and it wasn’t they who hatched the Titty Bike genre either. Then, we remembered that we have absolutely zero social conscience and love to say mean things.”

Another odd experience, by the way, is digging up a 16-year-old complaint to a webcomic creator for nostalgic reference when you offer that same creator a promotional copy of the gaming memoir you just co-wrote with Sid Meier. Even odder, I suppose, to realize that the original non-Acclaim comic had been about Area 51, which you actually were hired to work on yourself soon after the Acclaim debacle.*

As is often the case in complex bankruptcies, the asset liquidation took another six years to fully stagger its way through court—but in 2010, we did, surprisingly, get the ancient paychecks we were owed, plus an extra $1,700-ish for the company’s apparent violation of the WARN Act. By then, I had two kids and a very different life, for which the money was admittedly helpful. Sadly, Acclaim’s implosion probably isn’t even the most egregious one on record. Our sins were, to my knowledge, all money-related, and at least no one was ever sexually assaulted in our office building. Again, to my knowledge. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure we remain the only historical incident of corporate pet murder. The iguana got out just in time.

*Area 51’s main character was voiced by David Duchovny, and he actually got paid—which was lucky for him, because three years later, Midway also declared bankruptcy.