#its bothering me that I don't know WHERE im going
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my friendly friends
#aphmau#pheonix drop high#ein pdh#aphmau pdh#mystreet#aphverse#kai pdh#i've never watched mystreet season 2 before it's literally Insane im at the episode where ein becomes alpha#NOT MYSTREET I MEAN PDH i don't feel like rewriting that anyways THIS IS MY FIRST EXPOSURE TO EIN AND LIKE#IM SO SAD I DONT KNOW WHAT EXACTLY HE DOES BUT I KNOW HE TURNS EVIL AND HORRIBLE AND ITS LIKE BROOO LITERALLY HOWWWWW#HES SO NICE AND SWEET ANS THOUGHTFUL what the HELL is going to happen SAME WITH KAI LIKE😭😭😭#i've been watching mystreet in chronological order in hydroponics with my friend bc as a kid i only got to love love paradise im having fun#eins voice actor reminds me of how malachi used to talk that one scene lives in my mind Im sorry to bother you but if you two are done ta
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the solution to the "are you normal about X people who turn out to be Y" debate is stop fucking assuming things about people
You wanna know what pronouns to use for an individual? Ask them.
As a general rule, don't make jokes about the identity you perceive of someone. Know your audience
How is that hard? Why do we all think ourselves such experts on the lives of other people??????
#gopher rambles#rant#listen. I know assumptions are something you can't always control having. But you can control how you treat them and talk about them#that masc presenting person likes “girly things”?#well you can't know for sure if they're an egg who will come out as transfem in a few years or a stealth transmasc who likes stuff they gre#up with (or maybe never got a chance to properly enjoy!) or a gnc cisguy or transnuetral or ANYTHING#Who fucking died and made you the omnipotent godking? And if you arent why the hell do you think you know these things for sure????#Listen. Im not immune to having assumptions about people. I've been in plenty of situations irl where I think “that person might be trans”#but I don't just. Go buckwild with it? I either wait for them to volunteer that information or I go “hey how should I refer to you”#its not hard oh my god#regardless I'm personally never going to win. Genderless is not the assumption anyone will ever make about me and I can barely get folks to#call me a they/them let alone he/him. I'm not bothered by she/her but I sure would like if folks stopped fuckin assuming shit#stop shoving people into boxes before I shove your ass off a fuggin cliff
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LAURENCE HARVEY a.k.a. LARUSHKA MISCHA / ZVI MOSHEH SKIKNE (born october 1st, 1928 - died november 25th, 1973)
“I always believed in Laurence Harvey, even when nobody else did. Especially when nobody else did.”
“Most people imagined they knew and understood Larry with little trouble. That was a big mistake. They didn't know how deep and complex, how elusive, he remained behind his social mask.” - Paulene Stone, his wife
“I cannot yield to failure, it would make far too many people happy.”
#i care him (obscure actor nobody is talking about)#idk man i felt inspired to make this and ive been working on it for the past several hours at my job. i wish it was my job#so-called free thinkers when they remember a guy. anyway!#the first gif is from the wonderful world of the brothers grimm and we're lucky i was able to even get it bc its GONE from tubi 💔#fortunately i got it from some clip on youtube abt the restoration but i had to include something from that movie#with a vague theme in these gifs of lesser known. appearances. i guess#the second is from when a bunch of actors went to this birthday celebration for noel coward#the next is from password (his silly little mannerisms and the lady's eyebrow raise at the end is killing me)#and then celebrity bowling followed by columbo and then lastly welcome to arrow beach#for those of you if any that cared where these all came from#i just think he's neat (guy that i would like to make a documentary on)#and well he deserved a good gifset. maybe ill even make more . it could happen#you should all still watch the wonderful world of the brothers grimm. just maybe not some of his other movies ive suffered through#the columbo gif could look better but for some reason the gif maker made all the colors suck :( and thats the best it was gonna look#it was a battle against source quality and tumblrs gif size limit#i also considered making other gifs but you know what im happy w six (i don't have the patience to do more)#that post thats going around of like you have to follow people that are obsessed w old hollywood actors. im doing my part#youd love him. he was a bisexual sarcastic bitch . and i also think hes 😵💫 but that was probably obvious#laurence harvey#not bothering 2 tag the movies#happy larry day. which inspired all this
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was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍
#wild ik so many ppl getting married meanwhile im over here struggling to convince myself my friends even care abt me or want me around#pathetic to admit but i cant even fantasise abt someone loving me bc im too insecure n emotionally unstable#my mind just shoots the idea down like whoa. unrealistic. ur incapable of expressing or receiving affection in any way that matters#no matter how badly u want to... and even if someone did well u wouldnt believe them most of the time#gotta get out of the fucking labyrinth first i couldnt inflict this shit on anyone i cared abt#but it makes me so desperately sad sometimes i dont know how im ever going to get out of this ive been trying for years and years#and im a little better at it snd i dont feel like this all of the time i know it just comes around and itll pass again#but im tired of being in so much emotional pain so frequently. and shouldering it so alone. theres such a disconnect between myself and#others and i dont know how to bridge that i don't know how to stop feeling so isolated and unwanted !!!!!! im trying so hard#it doesnt even bother me w relative strangers in my life like i dont get insecure at all around them i like meeting new ppl#bc theres like. no expectations i guess. like ik they dont care abt me personally and idk them well enough to do that either#and its fun but it doesnt satisfy needs that i have like i need to feel close + connected to ppl i need to care abt them + feel cared for#but as soon as i do start to care abt ppl it gets all tangled and i end up getting rly badly hurt over and over. thru no fault but my own#bc im constantly alienating myself and bc i struggle so much w shit like physical affection which is frustratingly rly critical for me!!!!#it wouldnt fucking matter if i didnt like or want affection ik some ppl are fine without i wish it worked like that for me#but nope instead i have to be constantly messed up over my complete fucking inability to express myself in any form#and ik it makes everyone around me so uncomfortable so it just becomes self reinforcing and eventually they drift and leave me behind#and i just do that over and over and over and every time ill tell myself ill do better ill try harder and itll get easier and someone will#and it happens again and right now im at the stage where the abandonment fear is starting to kick in which is awful n paralysing#and usually a precursor to actually being abandoned ehich is always my own fault bc i start behaving so erratically out of fear or defense#its self fulfilling and im trying. im trying so hard not to let it overwhelm me again and not to start acting out and freaking ppl out#and im coping with it okay i think but just hurts me a lot its all internal my rejection sensitivity is gradually ticking up and up#and argh!!!!!!!!! and some days im okay and some days its like this and i dont know what todo when its like this im so tired and in pain#its not even that bad today tbf. once im done typing this to get it out ill be able to do smth else and distract mysrlf for a bit#and then calling friends later too so exposure therapy innit. but itll be fun and i love them but i will probably also feel very bad after#or even possibly during but thats okay ill still manage fine im not going to let it interfere i dont want it controlling my fucking life#i am going to have a nice time and be okay despite it all. even if i do have to fucking battle this every day forever#and even if it stops me living my life to the extent i want and feeling as ok as i want i just have to come to terms with and be ok w it#and im not going to be!!! a fucking asshole abt it!!! i dont want to hurt anyone else thats the most important thing no matter how i feel#thr rest is all secondary and ik i cant help a few little bumps here and there but trying hardest to keep it separate its not negotiable
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#don't know if it's like#that time of the month making these feelings more intense and i say this a LOT but damn i rly do feel my time on sm coming to an end#like i feel like being on here long term is holding me back in a way#but at the same time the reason i've been so afraid to take that leap is because idk what a world where i'm fully away from it (by that#i mean like no tumblr no ig no reddit no NOTHING just being completely alone w/ my thoughts and feelings and learning how to enjoy that)#and like ok isolating myself is Very Bad for my mental health i fully get that and its why ive been like afraid to leave completely#but then again why bother staying in a place w/ a history where the bad often outweighs the good for me#esp when i've chosen solace in some ppl who uh were#not the best ppl to look for that solace when you're Going Thru It#idek it's left me thinking abt the past too much when i SHOULD be in the present#anyway i'll stop w/ the rambles i just want to be offline in the way idk bill hader is offline gshdifhgtuioweiruty#be quiet drea#tbd bc im just venting in tags lmao
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#so im in a pickle because my boyfriend has been very excited for over a month about us going together to his friends' Halloween party#and im also very excited#buuuut he just told me where its going to be snd its on the other side of town and in a kinda unsafe neighbor#and i have insanely strict parents (and the logistics of this event make lying about it a pretty tricky affair)#it's a level 'i don't even want to bother asking and arguing there's no way i can go'#but.... he's gonna be so disappointed :(#he's very understanding and i know he's not going to hold it against me#but that doesn't take away the fact that he's going to be so very very disappointed#so now i have to figure it out because i Have Capital H to get this permission#mogologue#rant
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every week or so i remember that things i experience are not normal and actually thats so funny to me. i go about my life doing these things daily and thinking about them constantly and that is not a normal thing
#context!#LMAOFOF#so i get like#extremely detailed intrusive thoughts of home invasions/shootings and what would go down in them#and all the ways it could happen#and years ago it got to the point where i just started preparing for them#which is#mental illness at its finest#is it the ocd or something else. who knows#anyways i have a whole plan in my bathroom in case someone breaks in and im upstairs#ive thought about literally everything#is it going to happen. no most likely not. but is my brain going to bother me about it until i do something? yes#i genuinely don't know what this is or if theres a name for it#but i do find humor in the fact that i am one of those apocalypse mfs but for break-ins#when the brain forces you to think for 10 minutes about what you would do if your whole family was killed by an intruder#hey what if i gave this to leonardo#you know#the turtle#rant in tags#vent in tags#i guess?
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#i love all the atelier games ive played dont get me wrong#they are brilliant games!!! so much to do and so many blorbos to see#but i cannae deny thst sometimes there are just.....too many mechanics#keep unlocking alchemy things and being like i cant be bothered to figure out how this works#also there is so much grinding to do#and its not that bad until u get to a point where ur trying to craft smth but keep coming up on items u don't have#i heard theres gonn be a LOT of playable characters in ryza 3 and im already dreading the grind of upgrading everyone's weapons horgh#anyway i found out an material I thought i would find in a later part of the game was in fact in one of the early game areas#i just had to use the magical dog to dig the ground and i hadnt done it yet#me staring staring at the item i was waiting to craft and could have had ages ago#on the other other hand i finally unlocked lents plot and did u know i love him? the grind is worth it#also i heard bos is playable in ryza 3 and im going feral#finally..... finally....i have waited so long.....
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#negative cw#i am feeling. very not good#every day we go to restaurants where there's nothing on the menu i can eat bc all ive been able to manage lately is soup#or sometimes mash potato and gravy but like. its gotta be a Good day and i have not had good days in a While#so i just sit and have nothing while they eat then down an entire block of white chocolate as soon as we get home bc its my comfort food#and like. i dont mind not eating at a restaurant or whatever im cool to chill and chat while someone eats it doesnt bother me#its just when theyre doing it every day and getting annoyed when I say i dont want anything as if they don't already know#mixed w the fact that my sister has been constantly unbearable its just been Rough#esp since we share a room#and we've been having issues w our accommodation in new york but i think hopefully it'll be sorted#im just exhausted and stressed all the time and there's no end in sight#and this trip has just made me aware of how much i do not feel loved by the people who should make me feel loved#like i love my mom and she does her best and she does make me feel better but sometimes shes a part of the problem#and i have support at home my roommates are so good for me but. theyre not here#and i feel shit every time i tell my roommate how i feel bc this is a once in a lifetime trip that she may never have a chance to take#and it makes me feel so guilty and selfish to not enjoy this but its so hard to enjoy#that one week where we were on the boat and i could have multiple soups a day was the only time i was happy#and its because i wasnt constantly starving and we didnt have stress about luggage or where we're staying#but ever since its just been constant stress and anxiety and hunger#and like. theres nothing i can really do ab any of it bc seeking out something i need means they dont get to do something they want#and i cant take what my sister wants away from her bc she'll throw a fit#mum says the usa will be ab me more but i know it wont be. i know exactly how it'll work#i will not have a chance to rest and be happy until im home and even then i have to find a job as soon as im back#bc i have bills and rent and i only budgetted enough for a month after i get back and that's with barely any groceries#and i get the feeling my roommates mad at me or upset ab something but i don't know how to approach it bc im on the other side of the world#and idk i feel like its me i feel like i did something wront#im just tired and sad and hungry all the time#but that's just. kinda my life innit#i just wish. people weren't upset with me all the time. i try so hard not to upset people but nothing i do ever seems good enough#i just want to be good enough. but i know im not.
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How do you deal with paranoia?? /gq
Just read the tags,,
#ive been getting a myriad of intrusive thoughts recently#its been so bad this week and i dont even know why#I'm either thinking about getting murdered violently or suddenly dying#theres more but i dont even remember most of it right now#plus in general i think I'll get executed on spot if i even dare to speak constantly#← though on that; its getting worse since i genuinely think i shouldn't speak ever due to how paranoid i am#i genuinely think someone would slit my throat for it#for all i know this could be some mental episode?? though im not even sure#nothings happened this week that would cause me this much stress it's all just out of nowhere#im having an existential crisis because of said paranoia since i keep questioning my existence and if i have the right to even live#im so paranoid to a point where i don't even think I'm worthy of living#i wouldn't say its suicidal ideology either since i absolutely do NOT want to go out the way my intrusive thoughts insinuate if i were too#i keep getting phantom pains of being stabbed in the back or of strangulation and its scaring me#i hate hate this#i just keep ignoring it and trying to sleep it off and then it's gone for a few hours and then comes back and its back to square one#i dont have plans on acting on anything but my paranoia keeps getting more prominent and i dont know what the cause is#i keep doubting my own choices as of recent too#i dont know why this is happening and its bothering me so much#i know its not true but i constantly feel like I'm on edge or someones out to get me#like at this point yell at me in the fucking replies for these thoughts i shouldn't be having them and maybe itll force it out#i dont even know anymore#KillerKiller.txt
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#i shouldnt have to just ify my anger wje. what you have done in the past has upset me#just because you have time where you get my pronouns right doesnt make the times that you dont go away#it doesnt make it hurt any less#you cant say that you do a “good job” when its by your own standards.#i constantly have to hear 'she/her' every fucking day at work from hindreds of people#i dont want to hear it from my fucking husband#its been over four years tht you have known me and its been they/them for as long as youve known me#she/her shouldnt even be in your fucking vocabulary when you refer to me#but because you still see me as 'female' that makes she/jer the default and for some reason#you cant wrap your brian around wjy that fucking bothers me#don't tell me you 'do a good job' and that i 'should know that' and that you 'dont want this to be a point of contention'#when you decide to go to bed without even asking me if im okay or telling me goodnight#you wanna gove me aomething to fucking be upset about?????? thatll fucking do it holy fucking shit#LMAO what the fuck is even happening#you wont even fucking talk to me because im upset with you so now youre going to just fucking ignore me being upset????#in what fucking universe is that fucking okay???????#fucking what ever!!!!#WHAT EVER. WHAT THE FUCK EVER.#fuck this#google wheres the nearest fucking bridge#this has been the worst goddamn week ive had in a very fucking long time#just fucking make it END ALREADY HOLY FUCK#and dumb ass roommate and his gf is here and i dont fucking want to deal with their fucking dumbass fucking shit either#get rhe fuck out of my goddamn life already im so fucking done#FUCK. FUCK OFF YOU DUCKIGN DUMBASS BITCH
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Lol
#////////////////////#////#///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#//////////////#i feel like a waste of space and a leech on resources.#Im so fucking dumb and stupid. I don't do anything right. I have no passion. No energy. I'm lazy as can be. Can't get a job. Can't hold a#job. Can't do anything steady to save my life. I'm fucking worthless. I feel so stupid. I can't maintain friendships. There's nothing in my#eyes when I look in the mirror. I'm already dead. I'm just letting myself rot at this point#I'm jealous. I'm stupid. I can't hold a fucking conversation to save me. Im not trying hard enough. everyone else had actusl real problems.#oh you're depressed in mommy and daddys house where you pay nothing at all? fuckong grow up you bitch. that's what you are. a fuckong dumbas#s bitch Elias. Fuckinh look at yourself#i should have just gone to college *** ****** ****** like god intended me too. I've know since 4th grade I don't know why I even bothered as#i got older. it'd do my friends a whole lot.#its so fucking tempting to just delete everything and not ever talk again. Im never gping to achieve anything becuase I was fucking dumb ass#kid who didn't apply himself. boo hoo you struggled in school everyone else did too. you're mot fucking special. you don't have anything#wrong with you. you just want attention. Get hit again bitch and maybe you'd grow a fucking spine. Look at yourself. Almost 21 and you're#nothing but a fucking cesspool of waste. You're disgusting. Nobody actually wants you and you know.#im so fucking tired of it all. I should have gone several states away and never came back. There's nothing for me here. There never was and#there's never going to be because nobody wants me. not any person not any job. not anything#its a chore to be around me and everyone always makes better friends and connections that aren't me because I can't be a fucking normal#person. * ***** **** **** ** *** *“” **** **** ** ******!#none lf my relationships last because people see through my bullshit and jump fucking ship because its the right thing to do. ***'** *******#**** ****** ******!! Why bother with me. *** ******* **** *** **** ****** i know it#elias.zip#even if i get a job I'll still be fucking miserable because thats all my life will ever be. miserable. it's never going to start to get#good. ever. I'm not meant for anything. not meant for this.
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apparently we're going to california?? again???
#its this summer so there's still time to prep#but it would've been nice to know ahead of time :(#i might have to cancel plans now bc my mom didn't bother telling anyone before she bought tickets#don't get me wrong. going to california is fun most of the time#but i like knowing things!! i like it when my parents tell me what's happening with stuff that involves me!!!#idk how we're affording this trip either and im worried#usually my mom's family buys us tickets bc we haven't been able to afford them but that means we only go once every few years#but we just went last summer. it's been barely a year and we're already going again#how do we have the money for that?? what???#just earlier this year we were pinching pennies to afford groceries and pay the bills. but now we're going on a week-long vacation to one -#- of the most expensive states in the USA during a time where plane ticket prices are through the roof#im not gonna ask. i don't wanna know. i just really hope my mom isn't being stupid with this
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Right here-Chris Sturniolo
summary: chris is your best friend, he has been for a couple years. one night you and chris are laying on his bed talking about anything and everything, somehow the conversation leads to sex, where you tell him a confession, leading to him taking your virginity.
contains: smut, fluff, swearing, aftercare, chris talking u through it, virgin!reader.
-----------------┌─── ∘°❉°∘ ───┐-----------——
9:43pm
chris and I have been laying on his bed together, staring at the ceiling as the conversation rapidly switches between topics.
"remember like the first time we met, how it took us a solid hour to start up a real conversation" chris laughs,
"i was working chris! i was like 16 i wasnt gonna risk my job to leave from behind the counter to talk to you" i nudge him with a grin.
"working at topgolf.." he teases back, "i mean i only knew nick from middle school, but i did serve your food and we spoke!" i say defensivley.
chris shakes his head, rubbing his eyes before he adjusts his chain which hangs around his neck.
"what was...." chris starts, thinking about what to say next. i tilt my head on the pillow to look over at him.
"your worst sex experience." chris asks casually with a stupid smile on his face,
my heart sinks slightly, truthfully im a virgin, and i'm almost 21. chris has no idea about this.
a silence fills the room, i clear my throat "well- uh"
"oh my god how bad was it" chris laughs.
i feel tears somehow prickle at the corner of my eyes, it doesn't bother me that much.
a small laugh exits my mouth, chris looks over at me "are you okay-?" chris says with a small laugh.
"yes! yes i'm good-" i say, sitting up and crossing my legs.
"chris can I tell you something" i sigh, wiping my face as a nervous smile forms.
"anything- hey you know about that time at graduation when i went the wrong way when i went up on stage to get my fuckin' paper thing." he yaps,
"oh my god and they had to guide you in the right direction" i scoff back.
"stopp" chris groans, sitting up and pushing me over onto my side, "now speak"
"this is like- the wrong time but.." i start,
"i've never done like anythingg.." i say, dragging out 'anything'
chris goes silent,
"like you've never fucked-" he says, but i cut him off "yeah."
he nods understandably, "thats okay!" chris chirps. "are you planning to loose it or not?" chris asks
"well, i've always wanted to its just like i'm worried that i wont fully trust the person who i hook up, and it'll just be a desperation thing- i don't know though." i say, opening up to him
"yeah, that makes sense." chris nods.
"but i really want to, like its always on my mind" i groan, flopping my head back down onto the pillow.
"i mean we could fuck" chris says with a shrug, i laugh it off,
he's clearly joking...?
"no like honestly think about, i'm horny 24/7, your wanting to loose your virginity, and you trust me i think?" he continues rambling with a cheeky smile painted on his face.
chris says stuff, a lot of stuff, and i'd say 90% of it is unserious
"chris... stop fucking around this is a serious topic" i scoff.
"no, like actually- deadass." chris says, slightly more nervous than earlier.
i go silent, sitting up in bed and looking down at him "yeah?" i ask quietly, chris sits up aswell "i can't tell if you're being serious chris"
he grabs my jaw, "i'm serious.." chris leans closer to me, my heart thumps aggressively as i stare at the brunette's lips, which are practically begging to be kissed.
chris's hand falls slowly from my jaw to my hand, "like 100% serious right?" i ask again, my mind now not being able to comprehend that chris could be inside me in a matter of minute.
"100%." he says,
i rip my white tank top off from over my head, chris scrambles to remove his shirt, i pause for a second as chris's eyes lay over my exposed chest.
"chris- I don't know what i'm doing this is gonna be so embarrasing for me" i start, but chris interuppts me
"shh- sh." he shushes me, grabbing my hand again, "do you want me to talk you through it?"
i nod, playing with chris's long fingers as an anxiety reaction, "can you tell me with your words what you want please?"
with a wobbling breath i start, "please talk me through it, i- uh.. i need you? please."
chris nods, "oh shit wait,yeah- if you want i'll go get nick and matt out of the house, they won't think we're doing anything 'cause they know that i don't bring girls over to fuck,- and they wouldn't think we'd do shit together"
i shake my head 'yes' rapidly, "thank you."
chris stands up off the bed, throwing on his shirt and unlocking his door, he walks out of the door, closing it behind him as i lay back in his bed,
anxiety rushes through my veins, my bare back presses against the soft plush of his mattress that i have been so used to for so many years, where chris told me all about his first hookup at 16, now hes gonna be mine on this same bed.
i hear his distant chatter with matt, "hey we need some shit from target from tomorrow, take nick with ya hes probably interested in childrens toys" he says with a laugh before matt agrees,
chris walks back into the room a minute or two later, his cheeks instantly turning maroon again as he says me laying half naked on his bed, he takes a deep breath "matt and nick are going to target in a few, you okay?" chris asks, discarding his shirt to the side of the room again.
"yeah! i'm just nervous." i laugh slightly,
"about what?" he questions, flopping down on the bed next to me,
"i just feel like it's gonna hurt- or i mean.. i don't want this to change things between us, 'ya know?" i sigh.
i hear matts van pull out of the driveway, the small pebbles crunching under his tires.
"it won't hurt." chris says, his voice serious, yet reassuring.
chris sits up off the bed, he turns around to face me. i sit up aswell, i feel chris's large hands wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to him on the edge of the bed.
"i'm going to take these off, yeah?" chris says, his fingers lingering on the waistband of my shorts.
"yeah." i smile up at him, laying back on the bed. chris pulls my sweat shorts and panties down to my ankles in one yank, his eyes widening as i feel his gaze drawn between my thighs.
"so perfect," chris says, his voice raspy.
"okay- wait." he whispers, rubbing his eyes, "can I ask, when you say you've never done anything, what's the most you've done.. sexually" he almost cringes at his words.
"um.. probably just doing stuff with myself.?" i reply, chris nods "okay good."
"okay, just try not to be too loud, the neighbours are always in their backyard" chris laughs, hovering above me, his face directly ontop of me as i lay on the edge of the bed.
my eyes widen as i feel a veiny cold hand on the inside of my thigh, "you sure?" chris asks for the 80th time,
"chris i need you, yes- please."
i close my eyes, the brunette presses a finger against my hole "just gonna stretch ya out a little bit first hm?" he says from above me before pressing his long finger deep inside of me,
"fuck." i whisper under my breath, my back arching slightly off the bed.
he begins to curl that finger inside of me, adding another finger quickly
"look at me."
he says, i squint my eyes open, soft whimpers escaping my lips. i lock eyes with him as he continues to thrust his fingers in and out of me.
a desperate gasp escapes my mouth as i feel his mouth attatch to my clit, "oh my god- fuck oh my god." i repeat under my breath.
"gonna finish already for me?" chris says with a hint of a cocky tone in his tone.
i let out a loud whine which echoes through the room as i feel my orgasm rapidly approaching "you got it, im right here." chris says into my ear.
i instantly clench around his fingers, the knot in my stomach snapping with a moan of chris's name. "there she is, let me hear you."
i flop my arms above me on the matress as chris pulls his fingers out of me, he wipes them on my thigh before starting to yank down his sweatpants, leaving him in his boxers
“tell me when your ready okay?” chris says, sitting down on the bed next to me as i lay down,
“chris”
“yeah?” he replies
“thank you, you didn’t have to do this.” i say with a small smile, my cheeks still flushed.
“no honestly i’m more than happy to do this” chris laughs, earning a nudge from my elbow to his rib.
i sit up on the bed, giving chris a certain look. he nods, standing up off the bed and pulling down his boxers.
i stare very obviously at his length, my eyes fixed on the long vein which follows the whole left side of his cock.
“you okay?” chris laughs slightly, i look up at him “yeah, no- just nervous.”
chris grabs my hand “listen, i’m going to talk you through everything, it won’t hurt, i promise.”
“okay.” i reply, “what position do you want me in?” i ask slowly letting chris’s hand go.
“just lay down on your back, wanna see your face okay?” chris says with a smile.
i lay back down, my bare back hitting the soft plush of chris’s matress. chris takes my hand again, “squeeze my hand if you need a break” he whispers.
i breathe in heavily, then out as chris positions himself between my legs.
“can you spread a little more for me sweetheart?” he asks, the pet name making me clench around nothing.
i spread my legs further, chris admires me, the position i’m in right before his eyes.
“there we are.” he says under his breath,
“i’m just going to give you the tip, and if it’s uncomfortable tell me okay?” chris says, squeezing my hand lightly as he rests his tip against my core.
“please.” i breathe out, looking up at his addictive eyes.
chris slowly pushes inside of me, a burning sensation as i stretch around him. i let out a pathetic moan. he pauses,
“you took the tip, feeling okay?” chris asks, looking down at me, his brown hair flopping on his forehead as he leans down to hear my awnser.
“feels new.. but good.” i whisper, chris nods.
he nods before pushing further inside of me, i arch my back off the bed, strings of whimpers exiting my mouth, i squeeze chris’s hand hard, he instantly stops
“chris- how much more?” i ask, overwhelmed
“you took half, should we try the other half aswell?” chris asks in a serious tone.
after a few seconds i reply “yes.”
chris places a kiss onto my lips, i kiss him back.
my eyes widen, i guess it was a good distraction because i barely notice chris pushing deeper inside of me, i let out a pleasured moan “fuck- chris”
i feel him bottom out, he has small droplets of sweat sitting on his forehead, his pale cheeks are a deep red.
chris starts to speak after about half a minute of silence, accompanied by our shared heavy breaths. “can i move?” he says, “yeah.” i reply.
he slowly starts to thrust in, and out of me. almost pulling out, but then pushing back inside of me, his pink tip pressing against my cervix lightly.
“you’re doing so well, let me hear those pretty noises.” chris says, his voice low and croaky.
i fill the room with loud moans
“look at me, look at me.” chris says, grabbing my chin which is tilted upwards from throwing my head back. he tilts my head down, locking eyes with me.
“you feel so good around me mhm?” chris groans, my eyes squinted but still staring into his.
“i’m not gonna last long chris.” i whimper out, chris nods
“that’s perfect, i’ll tell you when to finish and you will” he replies, i nod frantically.
i feel my high coming, with every thrust i clench around chris.
“ready..” he says, almost whines,
“you okay?” i ask, my breathing intensifies
“just need to cum, real bad.” he replies, his voice strained.
and with that, i finish with a scream of his name.
chris instantly pulls out, painting my chest and stomach with white streaks. “fuck y/n, oh my god, fuck-.. fuck.” chris throws his head back, stroking his length a final few times.
he falls down on the bed beside me, propping himself up on his elbows.
after a handful of seconds he sits up, pulling me onto his lap. “you okay? you did so well, took me so well.”
“i’m okay.” i laugh into chris’s chest.
“let’s get you cleaned up.” chris says, tapping my hips then carrying me into the bathroom.
he places me down on the countertop before grabbing a damp cloth.
he pats my inner thigh with the cloth, he lets out a small laugh,
“yeah?” i question
“i never woulda thought you’d be screaming my name.” he says casually.
i scoff as chris leaves the bathroom, he comes back with the clothes i was wearing earlier he starts to redress me, his concentration at an all time high.
after chris had redressed he helps me off the counter, “cmon let’s go get something to drink.” chris says, grabbing my hand and leading me out of his bedroom.
i’m met with nick and matt, leaning on the kitchen counter. my heart stops, i thought chris got them out of the house?
chris instantly drops my hand “thought you guys were at target.” he says with a embarrassed laugh.
“we got 2 minutes down the road then decided to get it another day.” nick says, eyes fixed on chris’s.
“so are you two offical?” matt asks with a smile, chris’s head snaps round to look at him “what do you mean!” he says defensively
“trust me, we heard those fucking screams” nick laughs, slapping chris’s bicep.
“no guys, i can explain i swear.” chris starts, following nick and matt close behind, as they walk into the living room.
“it wasn’t what you think-“ chris rambles, i can hear the smile on his face.
i laugh to myself, shaking my head with a scoff.
————-
#sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo headcanon#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo smut
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the reason I hate the "Tim doesn't trust Dick after Damian/spyral/ric" is because they are besties your honour.
Like there's a post going around that I cannot for the life of me find that says Dick is Tims trusted adult and they are so right fr ong.
Because despite what Fanon believes Dick is a pretty chill guy and people take one look at him and go "let me unload my emotional baggage on you"
There's like a very famous panel (that im too lazy to find or remember the name of the run its in okay don't yell at me) where Tim basically goes "soooo my girlfriends pregnant" and Dick nearly falls off the roof.
Tim is calling Dick for the dumbest shit imaginable to the world ending and so are the rest of the batkids.
so I have taken the Canon that Dick knows if not all but most and generalised it to hell.
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Jason has been on a team with like 80% of OG titan members
they're having gossip session
Jason in a war zone dodging bullets with his bat travel mug in his hand: And THEN! Kori and Roy shared this look and you know the look they give you when they're judging you for bat reasons and you're like tell me why you're mad I was raised by a crazy person my normal levels are skewed.
Dick in NYC with a blueberry bagel In one hand, his Turkish coffee in another, just finished meeting up with Donna who gave him THAT exact look: No REALLLLL why are they like that, just tell me which one of the creepy traits I internalised as a child is bothering you.
Jason: omg you get it anyway so I grab the bomb and start playing soccer with it because its round and im bored and starfire takes it away like idk what im doing? bro ive been bombed I know how to work with a bomb..
Dick: hmmm and then what happened
Jason: and then.....
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Tim: Dickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Dick: yea Tim
Tim: Kon is being a dick
Dick: oh?
Tim: yeah and its really starting to bother me man
Dick who knows Kon is dead and Tim is either hallucinating or drugged to be more susceptible to manipulation and is already on his way: hmm tell me more babybird whys he upsetting my lil brother
Tim about to tell Dick what is a fever dream bc he contracted pneumonia and is loopy off his ass on painkillers:
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steph does this more with babs in the hero scene but its just... so easy and totally gets into the habit of it after Dick is her Batman for a bit and now she uses him as her civilian life therapist
Steph on her way back from campus: and then this bitch looks me up and down and pours her coffee cup down my shirt!
Dick on his way back to blud after decking bruce in the face: hold on hold on hold on she did what??
Steph nodding vigorously even though he can't see her: pulls my whole ass sweater away from my body and pours her peats coffee down my goddamn shirt Dick.
Dick: omg she didnt
Steph still nodding: she DID and then I found out from Jonny who found out from Vivian that someone told her I made out with her boyfriend at Leos house party
Dick who has no idea who any of these people are: wait but you were at Leos for like an hour max last week. we has smoothies after.
StepH: exactly so I had proof that I wasn't there and confronted her and went like. I don't want your crusty ass alt white boy whose favourite 'indie' band is the neighbourhood. I dated Tim fucking Drake the OG crusty ass white boy and I don't do repeats
Dick choking on his coffee:
Steph: anyway we are besties now and planning on getting her boyfriend back because apparently he cheated on her with this drop dead gorgeous girl and im high key a lil complimented she thought we were the same person.
Dick who initially called for casework and is actually so happy one of the people he calls siblings is actually like living a life outside of vigilantism: tell me more
Steph: you sound a little teary
dick: don't worry about it
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Damian: Richard
Dick: Damian
Damian: so I might be skipping patrol with father
Dick:? what you love patrol??
Damian: and school
Dick: Dames? what's going on:? is everything okay? you can talk to me
Damian: I am volunteering at a hospital
Dick: kid
Damian: Listen before you sAY anything I know what we do is important but I think I can help in another way and -
Dick had brown parents and was training for the olympics at 8, totally knows what its like to have insane expectations and rebel with a day job: kid kid calm down okay? you wanna be a doctor? is that it?
Damian: well? I dont really know but I just? there has to be another way to help people. besides what we do I mean-
Dick: Alfred left me Thomas waynes journals I initially thought they were to bash your fathers head in when he was being stupid but it seems the old man was looking out for us. Wanna take a stab at your other grandpas legacy when you come over next weekend. I'll tell Bruce we patrolled so you get a few more days off.
Damian: you're the best
#dick grayson#nightwing#batman#batfam#jason todd#tim drake#bruce wayne#comics#damian wayne#batfamily#stephanie brown#incorrect batfamily quotes#Dick might be a good spy but he doesn't need to be#his siblings tell him everything#can y'all believe DAMIAn wants to do medicine in canon#his Middle Eastern mom is so proud#talia is bragging to her attendants#you know my son wants to be a doctor when he grows up and he's 15 and at a medical internship#Dick is bragging to the titans#this basically confirms that Alfred raises Batmans#Bruce raises the greatest heroes of the age#Dick raises well adjusted young adults whose dream is a solid pension plan and time for hobbies#Dick and talia both take credit for turning out well#they'll be bitchy and give the other a drop of credit but they both agree bruce gets nothing#entirely fanon#fanon#dc fanon
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so? what's it gonna be, princess? - choi seungcheol
warnings: none!!
pairings: choi seungcheol x reader
genre: best friend to lovers (as always... zzzzz)
wc: 1.8k
check out my masterlist! // cheol's m.list
‘’cheollie, i think i will be running a little late. it started pouring out of nowhere and i don't have my umbrella with me,’’ seungcheol could practically hear the pout coming from you through the phone, ‘’please help me tell the boys im sorry and that i'll be there as soon as i can.’’ today was yet another friday evening where the boys had planned a group dinner to catch up with everyone which happens once every 2 weeks.
‘’you're pouting arent you?’’ your best friend teased you through the phone. ‘’no im not..’’ you lie, but unbeknownst to you, seungcheol is sitting in his car; parked just outside your company's lobby waiting for you. he smiles as he watches you furrow your eyebrows and look up at the sky; watching the pouring rain, and he sees your pout growing more evident. ‘’don't you regret turning me down this morning when i offered to drive you after work?’’ he chuckles to himself as he continues to tease you; he fumbles reaching for an umbrella in the backseat, ready to walk towards you.
‘’maybe a little…but my office is in the complete opposite direction.. i didn’t want to trouble you.’’ you tried justifying. ‘’its been 13 years now that we've been friends, how many times do i have to tell you that you're never a bother or trouble to me? you know i love helping you out and doing things with you. even if its just driving with you by my side.’’ you felt your stomach do a little flip at your best friend's words and you try to shake the feeling away. seungcheol watches as you brace yourself, getting ready to run in the rain to cross the road, most likely to get to the bus stop. ‘’WAIT, STAY THERE!’’ he shouts through the phone and you all but halt your movements all together. ‘’huh? what do you mean?’’ you asked as confusion took over you. ‘’hello?’’ you prod again when he doesnt say anything back. ‘’cheol??’’ this time you remove your phone from your ear to look at the screen, had the call been disconnected?
‘’princess!’’ your head whipped around at the sound of that. you could recognise his voice anywhere and yet, you didnt exactly believe it. what is he doing here? why would he be here? you watch as seungcheol run out of his car holding an umbrella over his head, ‘’what are you doing here? i thought i told you not to come? i could have made it to dinner on my own..’’ you say as you started to feel bad. ‘’in this heavy rain? its gonna take you forever!’’ he chuckles lightly as he reaches his arm out to put over your shoulder, getting you under the umbrella with him. ‘’yeah but still.. its so inconvenient for you.’’ seungcheol watches as your pout slowly returns. all he can think about is how cute and pretty you look, and how soft your lips would feel against his.
‘’nothing is ever inconvenient when it comes to you. did you forget why my nickname for you is princess in the first place? did you forget the promise i made you when we were kids? i said i'll always treat you like the princess you are, didnt i?’’ he asked as he tugged you closer to him and start walking back to his car. ‘’cheol, of course i remember, but no one ever really holds onto promises they made when they were kids. it was just all fun and games!’’ you laugh as you hit his chest lightly with your fist playfully. seungcheol catches your hand and held it in his for a second before letting go. ‘’i didn't think it was just for fun and games…i meant what i said back then & i still do.’’ his face turned serious before it was quickly replaced by his boyish shy smile that you love so much. he reached down to open the door to the passenger seat, ushering you to get in.
you watch as he closed the door to the passenger seat and quickly ran over to the driver's seat. ‘’what was that about?’’ you asked as soon as seungcheol settled in this seat. it doesnt go unnoticed by you that half of his body is wet; drenched in rain, clearly from shielding you with the umbrella better and not himself. you heart aches at that a little. ‘’what was what?’’ he questioned back, looking at you with confusion swimming in his brown orbs. you took in a deep breath and let out an audible sigh, ‘’you mean what you said back then and you still do?’’ you laughed before continuing playfully, ‘’aww, does that mean that my cheolie is still in love with me after all these years?’’ you teased jokingly as you think back to when you were both 21, your best friend had drunkenly confessed to you in a game of truth or dare with chan, minghao, soonyoung and joshua that you were in fact his first love when you were both younger. what he failed to mention however is that he was still in love with you at that time.
‘’cheol, im just joking. dont look at me like that.’’ you say as you shift your eyes towards the road; finding his burning gaze too hard to keep in contact with. ‘’don't look at you like what?’’ his voice came out a lot softer and huskier than he'd like. not that seungcheol was trying anything, but his throat suddenly felt so so dry. was he about to have this conversation with you? ‘’i don't know, you just look so serious. i was just kidding. come on, start the car, or we'll be late.’’ you unintentionally whined, hoping that he will let it go and drop the subject. but seungcheol caught on to your nervousness, he always does. you have your tells when you're nervous and seungcheol knows all of them like the back of his hand. he knows you oh so well.
feeling a sudden surge of confidence from the fact that he made you nervous, inevitably, your best friend turned cocky. ‘’so what if i am?’’ he asked as he leaned his face against his fist that his biceps were resting on the steering wheel. ‘’what?’’ you asked as you furrowed your eyebrows at him. seungcheol could see the slight irritation dancing in your eyes. he knows you think he's fucking with you again like he always does, except what you didn't know was all his playful flirting? yeah he meant those. but you? you could play along with his playful flirting but joking about feelings and being in love? that crosses the line for you. not funny. at all.
‘’i said, so what if i am? so what if i am still in love with you after all these years?’’ truthfully, seungcheol felt confident and cocky, but that was before he actually said those words out loud. now? his heart was thumping so hard he thought it might jump right out of his chest, but of course, he didnt show it, he tried his hardest not to at least; always keeping that small but nervous smile on his face. ‘’if this is another one of your stupid jokes, stop it. its not funny. you know i hate when people joke about feelings.’’ your irritation had grown tenfold by now. ‘’start the car cheol, we'll be late.’’
‘’but we're already late,’’ he says as he debates in his mind if he should hold your hand. ‘’and besides, don't you think i know you well enough by now to know what not to joke about?’’ he watches as your eyes soften and reaches for your hand. you look down at where you are both linked: your hands, and silence takes over you. ‘’so, should we walk into dinner holding hands and let the boys plan our wedding or are you going to reject me and let this car ride be the most awkward we've ever been around each other?’’ seungcheol all but nervously asks, jokingly of course.
‘’is this really how you ask someone out? that's so corny and cringey. no wonder you've been single all these years!” seungcheol lets out a breath of relief when he hears your sweet laugh and sees a smile finally break out on your face. ‘’is the reason i'm single all these years really because of how corny and cringey i am or is it because of how in love i am with you that i stayed by your side and took care of you the best i knew how to at whatever age it was, that i always looked out for you no matter where we were, be it at a party, in class, in school, at a dinner functions, anything. that i tried my best to never let you feel alone and to know that i always believe in you no matter what negative things that pretty little head of yours tells you when you go to bed at night? and look at you now? look how far you've come.’’
seungcheol held your hand up to his lips and kissed the back of your hand. you felt tears lightly prickle your eyes and you blinked them away, ‘’thank you, cheol..for always being there for me even when i didn’t know i needed you.’’ he now held your hand up to his cheek, still intertwining your fingers. ‘’like today?’’ he asked with a shy smile. ‘’like today..’’ you smiled back. ‘’so what's it gonna be princess? are we picking out a wedding destination or are we sitting in awkward silence?’’ he teased. ‘’why can't you be normal and just ask me to be your girlfriend like everybody else?’’ you ask as you tried tugging your hand away from him but he didn’t let up, it only made his grip on you tighter. ‘’where's the fun in that? and besides, you answering my question will tell me if i have a girlfriend or not.’’ seungcheol already knows your answer to his question, but he still had to ask, he just wanted to hear you say it so bad.
‘’hmm..,’’ you looked away from him and pretended to think for a second, ‘’you know The Maldives has always been my dream destination for travelling…a wedding there would be pretty don't you think?’’ you turn back to look at your boyfriend with a faux face of being in thought. seungcheol didnt know he could smile so big but in that moment he did, ‘’i think anywhere in the world would make for a pretty wedding destination as long as you're the bride, princess.’’ seungcheol finally lets go of your hand, but only to now cup your face in between his 2 hands. he kissed you once on your forehead, ‘’you know i love you right?’’ he asked as he looked into your eyes, his usual playful and mischievous brown orbs are now replaced with love, adoration and sincerity. you smile as you answer, ‘’you know i love you too, right?’’ and that was all it took for seungcheol to finally kiss you on the lips. ‘’i think i love you more.’’ he just always has to win, doesn't he?
#seventeen#seventeen fluff#seventeen imagine#svt angst#svt fluff#svt#svt x reader#fanfic#seungcheol fluff#seungcheol imagine#seungcheol fanfic#seungcheol#seungcheol x reader
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