#its been hard and things are gonna be harder but its okie | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nastybuckybarnes · 3 years ago

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Deep End - Six

Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers X Reader

Summary: He’s back. After all your best efforts at getting away, he’s found you again. And this time, he’s not letting you go so easily. He’s determined to do whatever it takes to get you to be his. Forever.

Warnings: Dark Themes, Language, Angst, Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 4.6K

A/n: Okie dokie! I’ve got an epilogue planned but I like this. The epilogue will explain shit better but I've known that this would be the end since pretty much the beginning LMAO

Deep End Masterlist

THIS IS A DARK FIC WITH SEXUAL AND TRIGGERING CONTENT!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

~*~

When Steve hears you stop struggling, stop fighting and stop crying, he’s nervous.

It’s been a while since he locked you up there, and he really should check on you soon, if only to make sure the baby’s okay after that stunt you pulled.

He pushes the door to the bedroom open, eyeing your figure carefully.

You look like you’re asleep. If he wasn't so attuned to your body, your heart and your breathing, he wouldn’t have noticed something’s wrong.

Your heart is beating rapidly, far faster than normal. And it’s weaker than usual.

Your breathing is shallow and strained, and your face is lacking its usual healthy glow.

He rushes to your side, tearing the rope from your wrists and touching your face carefully.

Your skin is hot to the touch, and he feels fear settle in his gut.

He doesn’t know what to do, how to help. He’s never really had to help you like this, the doctor’s always been nearby.

He grabs his phone, calling the doctor and pacing nervously.

“Sh-she’s burning up and her breathing is shallow.”

Steve's stomach drops as he listens to the doctor’s instructions, answers his questions and comes to the realization of why you’re like this.

He rolls you onto your left side, tears welling up in his eyes at how unresponsive you are.

The doctor hangs up after telling the super soldier that he’ll be there soon.

His heart is in his throat as he tries to undo the damage of his punishment, putting the evidence back in the box and kicking the rope under the bed.

You’re still unresponsive, heart weak, but your breath sounds a little less strained.

Monster. That’s what you called him. What Natasha called him and what Bucky’s asset called him.

Maybe you’re right.

But he wants you. He needs you. Giving you up would be giving up a piece of his soul and he’s not ready to do that yet.

~*~

The doctor informs him that both you and the baby are okay, but being on your back for so long was compressing a major vein supplying your baby with oxygenated blood. If he’d gotten there any later it might’ve been too late.

With strict instructions to keep you on your left side and make sure you stay hydrated, the doctor takes his leave.

He stays by your side, holding your hand tightly in both of his as he really comes to terms with the fact that it was entirely his fault. He almost killed you and your baby to prove a stupid point. To discourage you from doing the very same thing.

His heart is heavy in his chest as he listens to your heartbeat get stronger, to the baby’s heartbeat continue fluttering like a hummingbird’s.

Those two sounds bring him peace, if only temporarily.

Shattering his peace is the sound of the front door opening, followed by tiny little footsteps clomping up the stairs.

“Mommy! Mommy!”

Sarah.

Steve shoves himself to his feet and quickly leaves the room just as his daughter tries to enter.

“Sarah, mommy’s sleeping.” She frowns up at him and shakes her little blonde head.

“I need to talk to mommy!”

She walks around his legs only for him to scoop her up in his arms.

“She’s sleeping right now, honey.”

Sarah shakes her head angrily, beating her tiny fists against his shoulders.

“Let me go! I want mommy! Mommy!! Put me down!” She starts shrieking. Full-on screaming bloody murder right in his ear, and he loses his grip on the wriggling child.

She slides out of his arms and runs into the bedroom, climbing onto the bed and shaking your shoulder.

“Mommy?” She’s got little tears on her face, and they don’t cease when you don’t wake up.

“Why won’t mommy wake up?!” She looks up at Steve with terror written on her face and it shatters his heart in his chest.

“Sarah, mommy’s sick, okay? I had the doctor come over and he said that she needs to rest and when she wakes up we’re gonna need to make sure she’s got plenty of water, okay?”

Sarah’s big blue eyes are filled with tears and she shakes her head.

“I want mommy!”

She clings to your torso, crying against your shoulder in fear.

“Sarah, honey, mommy’s gonna be okay. You just gotta give her some space, okay? How about I set up a movie for you?” Sarah sniffles and slowly pulls away from you, looking at her father and shaking her head again.

“I want mommy! I hate you!”

Steve then realizes just how crucial you are. How important you are, not only to him but to his daughter as well.

Losing you would hurt so many people.

“Honey, you gotta give mommy and I some space, okay?”

He picks up the five-year-old, despite her quite literally kicking and screaming, and sets her down outside the bedroom.

He shuts the door quickly and locks it even faster.

Sarah stands outside, wailing her head off and pounding on the door with her tiny little fists.

She cries for you, over and over again, and it breaks Steve’s heart.

He’s brought back to what you said about him. About how this isn’t love.

He sits down at your side again, trying desperately to drown out the sound of his daughter crying outside as his thoughts overwhelm him.

He hasn’t been the nicest to you, that he’ll openly admit, and he makes mistakes probably more often than he doesn’t. But he loves you. He needs you.

Tears well up in his eyes and he lets out a shuddering breath.

He’ll make this right. He has to. Sarah deserves a mother, so does your unborn baby. And -though he may not deserve you- he needs you. The monster will be hard to fight, but losing you will be harder.

The damage he’s done might be irreversible, but he’s gonna do what he can to make things right, to give you a better life.

You don’t wake up for a few hours, but when you do you’re confused.

Your back aches and you feel a little dizzy as you remember what happened, how you got here.

Steve watches as you regain consciousness, confusion pulling your brows together before you slowly open your eyes.

“How’re you feeling?” He asks softly, rubbing his thumb across your knuckles soothingly.

You look up at him then drop your gaze to your belly, bringing your free hand down to rub it gently.

“Am I... are we okay?” He nods gently, tears in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, (Y/n). I was... I don’t know, trying to teach you a lesson. And all that did was hurt you. Hurt the baby. I wanted to show you that trying to hurt yourself and hurt the baby wouldn’t fly, but I ended up doing far more damage.”

You swallow hard and struggle to push yourself into a seated position, wincing at the throb in your head.

“The doctor said that you shouldn’t move too much, and try to stay on your left side when you sleep. I-I didn't know that sleeping on your back was bad.”

You take a deep breath and look up at him, waiting for the anger to take hold in his eyes but it never does.

“I’m sorry for hurting you. For scaring you and not trusting you. I... I lost you for so many years and now I have you back and... I don’t wanna lose you again. But everything I do to try and keep you close, make you mine... all it does is push you further away and I’m sorry.”

His apology takes you by surprise, and you eye him skeptically.

How are you supposed to know if he’s telling the truth?

He drags one of his hands down his face and for a moment you can truly see just how old Steve Rogers is.

The exhaustion of carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders finally shows in the lines near his eyes, the bags beneath them. But what really displays his age is his eyes. They’re so full of trauma and pain and weariness.

For the first time since waking up from the ice, Steve Rogers looks his age.

“I-I’m sorry, too,” you whisper, surprising him.

“I didn’t... I wasn’t thinking. I just... I wanted to punish you for what happened to Natasha. What you did. I wanted you to hurt but I just ended up hurting myself in the process.” You look down at your hands, trying to figure out how you want to phrase what you have to say.

“People argue, Steve. But what you do... it’s beyond that. We’re not... there are so many things wrong with what’s happening between us, what’s happened already, but I can’t leave. Sarah’s too attached and all I want for my little girl is to have a happy life. To have the happiness that was torn from me.”

Guilt settles on his chest, but he lets you continue speaking.

“I want my daughter to have a good life. I don’t want her to be afraid of-of people. The way I am. She loves you, and I know... I think you love her. You haven’t hurt her yet, and I hope it stays that way because at the rate we’re going, I'm not sure how much longer I’ll be able to do this.”

The pure fatigue on your face is more than enough explanation, but the idea of losing you is too much for him to bear.

“No, don’t say that. I’m gonna get better, okay? We-we were happy once. And we can do it again. I’ll be gentle and patient. I just... I need you, (Y/n). I need you a lot and the fact that you have such a tight hold over my every thought makes me angry. But I’m not gonna take it out on you anymore, okay?”

You let out a deep breath and eye him carefully.

“You’ve said that before.”

He thinks back to the time you spent in that cabin in the woods, where you turned his friends against him.

He has said that before, and look at where he is now.

“This time it’ll be different.”

You don’t have the energy to fight him. So if he’s gonna try, fine.

“Where’s Sarah?” You ask, hoping she’s still safely out with Morgan.

Steve’s face falls again and he stands up and opens the door to your bedroom.

Sarah sits crumpled in a ball, her cheeks covered in tears.

“Mommy!” She all but screams the word, launching to her feet.

Steve tries to take her hand but she yanks it away from him, shooting him a glare then running to the bed and climbing up beside you.

Your heart breaks when you see how sad she looks, and you hug her to your chest.

“It’s okay, baby. Mommy’s okay.” She sniffles and climbs onto your lap, climbing to you like her life depends on it.

You wonder what happened while you were unconscious, what Steve did to upset her so much, and your mind immediately goes to the worst.

You look at the man, your thoughts written plainly across your face, but he quickly shakes his head.

“No. I just told her she couldn’t come in. Not ‘till you woke up. She uh... she stayed right outside the door.”

You soothe your daughter, rocking her as much as you can manage with the pain rolling down your spine.

“It’s okay, baby. Mommy’s okay. Everything’s okay.” You hold her close to you, trying to calm her down while Steve looks on helplessly.

Although his daughter loves him, loves being here with him, nothing can compare to the bond that the two of you have.

The monster in him hates it. Hates that he’s not as close to his own daughter, blames you for it. But he pushes that part of himself down.

He made a promise. And this time he’s not gonna break it.

"Are you sure you’re okay with it?” He asks for the thousandth time.

You only shrug, fixing your hair in the mirror as the doorbell rings.

“It’s a little too late now, Steve. Besides, I don’t really care. Sarah’s gonna have fun and that’s all that matters.”

Your daughter took a few days to warm up to Steve again, but now that she has he’s not gonna risk anything changing that.

He takes one last look at you, at how pretty you look in your blue sundress, then leans forward and kisses your cheek.

“I love you, (Y/n). I can send them away.”

You take a deep breath and shake your head.

“Sarah’s excited. Besides, I wanna know what we’re having.”

You plaster on a forced smile and it breaks his heart, but he turns and heads downstairs to greet the guests.

Ever since you got hurt, he’s been nicer. Far gentler than he's ever been with you, and you’re not complaining.

Steve has the potential to be a good person, that much is obvious, but he chooses not to.

He hasn’t hurt you again, or even yelled at you. No, he’s been patient and understanding and it’s such a sharp contrast from who he was before.

You can hear him greeting the guests warmly, chatting on and on about this and that and whatever else.

Taking a deep breath to prepare yourself, you leave the faux safety of the bedroom and head down the stairs, smiling at your guests.

People that you’ve never seen before are in your house. Well, that’s not true. You’ve seen them on TV.

The Avengers are in your living room and kitchen, talking softly amongst themselves.

In the presence of these superheroes, you feel small. Weak. And you can’t fight the urge to find Steve as anxiety crawls up your spine.

He’s in the kitchen, talking animatedly with Tony Stark and Sam Wilson. Iron Man and Falcon.

He looks so at ease, his face split open with a laidback grin.

Sam’s eyes find yours and he says something to Steve, making the blond turn to you with a soft smile.

He waves you over and you obey, one hand resting delicately on your bump.

“Sam, Tony, this is my (Y/n). (Y/n), Sam and Tony.” You nod politely at them, sliding your clammy hand into Steve's nervously.

You haven’t been around this many people in a very long time.

“It’s nice to finally meet the woman who’s got Captain America so hooked! All he does is talk about you,” Sam says, a grin on his face.

You smile at him, looking up at Steve.

He nods encouragingly, smoothing his thumb over your knuckles to try and ease your anxiety.

“It’s nice to meet you, too. I, uh, I’ve heard a lot about you. About both of you.” Tony smiles looking down as someone tugs on his pant leg.

“Can I have a sleepover at Sarah’s house?!” Morgan asks excitedly, her little face full of glee.

“You’re gonna need to go ask your mother. You know she makes all the decisions.”

Tony’s gaze lifts to yours when his daughter runs to find her mom.

“Is it alright if she sleeps over tonight?”

Steve nods then looks at you.

“You alright with that?”

You’re not sure if it’s a real choice or a test, but you don’t want to find out.

“Of course. She’s always welcome here.”

Tony nods with a smile, then resumes whatever conversation they were having before you showed up.

You tune out what they’re saying, carefully rubbing over your stomach and poking at your baby whenever they decide to kick you.

“(Y/n)? Did you wanna help me set the food up outside?” Pepper’s voice breaks you from your trance, her hand coming to rest softly on your shoulder.

You look up at Steve, silently asking for permission, but he just leans down and presses a soft kiss to your lips and lets go of your hand.

You follow Pepper, setting up the table in the backyard silently for a while before she clears her throat.

“How are you feeling, (Y/n)? Sarah told us you were sick.”

You swallow hard and give her a tight smile.

“I’m feeling better. Tired all the time but this little devil is to blame for that.” You poke your belly only to be met with another kick.

Pepper nods, smiling at you.

“Are you excited?”

That question throws you for a loop.

Are you? Are you excited to have another baby?

You’re excited for Sarah to have a sibling. Excited to get to hold your baby and love your baby. But the reason why you’re having the baby in the first place? The father of your baby? No.

“Yeah, I am. A little nervous, too.”

She sits down by your garden, patting the seat next to her.

“You look tired, (Y/n). More tired than a mother should be. You’re wearing yourself thin.” You keep your lips sealed, not wanting to say anything that might make Steve mad.

She sighs and sets a gentle hand on your knee.

“I don’t know what your... relationship is with Steve, but I know you’re unhappy. He’s a good guy, deep down. But you need to take care of yourself, okay? Don’t work yourself to the breaking point because it’ll be even harder to build yourself back up. Especially with a brand new baby.”

You let out a shuddering breath and nod.

“It’s just hard. I’m trying but... it’s hard.”

As you talk softly with Pepper, Steve observes the two of you.

You look so sad, so defeated. He hates that he made you look like that.

“She’s unhappy, Steve.”

He turns to the voice, eyebrows raising.

“Wanda. I didn’t know if you’d make it.” He pulls her into a hug. “I heard about what happened in Westview... Wanda, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

She sighs, pulling away with a sad smile.

“No. But I will be.” Her eyes travel back over to you for a moment, feeling the pain and the sorrow in your soul.

“Do you think she’ll ever be happy here? With me?” Wanda sighs, crossing her arms over her chest and closing her eyes, feeling your thoughts, your energy.

“It’s hard to tell. Right now she’s so... numb. Nothing but sadness and... hopelessness. Her spirit is crushed, Steve.” She reopens her eyes and turns to the blond.

“You can’t keep her here like this. It’s only a matter of time before she gets fed up and tries to do something drastic. Again.”

Steve knows. He fucking knows that. But he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do to lift your spirits.

He's given you more freedom, let you make more decisions for yourself. He’s been gentler with you, hasn't forced himself on you.

Not forcing himself on you isn’t something to gloat about, but given the history between the two of you, it’s something fairly major.

He just wants to keep you in his life. He needs to keep you in his life.

He turns to the young woman beside him, a thought bubbling into his mind.

“Could you... do something to make her happy? Make her enjoy her life here? Make her love me again?”

Wanda’s mouth curves down as she looks at you, watches you play with your daughter and Morgan.

“Steve, it’s not right.”

The blond lets out a pained breath, shaking his head desperately.

“I just want happiness, Wanda. Don’t I deserve it? Haven’t I suffered enough to deserve a happy ending?”

Wanda’s eyes glow red with sorrow as she’s reminded of her own happy ending that she had to give up.

She takes his hand and gives it a squeeze, dropping her gaze for a moment before looking over at his desperate blue eyes.

“We don’t always get what we deserve. It’s hard and it hurts, but we can't control everything. And at some point, we need to let go. No matter how hard it is or how much it hurts. We can’t hurt other people because of what we think we deserve.”

They both look back over to you, your own eyes already on the pair, but dropping as soon as you see them turn to you.

“I’m sorry, Steve. I can’t do that.”

Tears stab at his eyes and he huffs out a breath through his nose, turning on his heel and walking away from the party, from his friends.

His abrupt departure catches the attention of a few people, yourself included. Before you can get up and see what’s going on, Bucky’s on his feet and heading into the house.

The woman Steve was talking to makes her way over to you, smiling gently.

“Hi (Y/n). I’m Wanda.” You smile at her, eyes darting towards where Steve disappeared from then back to her.

Bucky re-emerges only a few moments later, shaking his head at Natasha when she gives him a quizzical look.

You turn to Wanda with a strained smile.

“Could you just watch Sarah for a minute? And make sure she has something to eat? The foods ready.” She nods, watching with sad eyes as you walk back into the house to see what’s wrong with Steve.

“Steve?” You call softly, looking around for him only to find him sitting on the couch in the living room, his face in his hands.

“Why can’t I have what I want?” His question catches you off guard and you move to stand in front of him.

He shakes his head sadly, pulling his hands off of his face to grab yours, holding them tightly.

His lips brush over your knuckles gently, before he presses the back of your hands against his forehead, dropping his gaze to the floor.

“This isn’t right.”

Your heart races in your chest, stomach tying in knots as you try to figure out what he’s talking about.

“What are you talking about? Is everything okay? Did... did I do something wrong?” Maybe you shouldn’t have talked to Pepper earlier. Maybe you should’ve just stayed quiet and smiled.

“I can’t keep you here.”

One sentence. Five words. Sixteen letters.

That’s all it takes to have your heart stuttering.

“What... what do you mean you can’t keep me here?” You try your hardest not to let your hopes get too high. Maybe he’s going to kill you. Maybe that’s what it is. It’s certainly something more up his alley than... the alternative.

He slowly raises his head, teary red eyes staring up into yours.

“You know what I mean.”

You shake your head, needing to hear him say it himself.

“What are you saying, Steve?”

He lets out a heavy sigh and closes his eyes, the words hurting him but he needs to say them.

“You're free to go. You and Sarah.”

The breath gets knocked from your lungs, eyes wide as tears start to blossom. This is a trap. A test. It has to be. There’s no way...

“You’re letting us go?” You ask softly.

He sighs again, nodding as tears find their way down his cheeks.

“Yeah... I guess I am.”

You’re silent, staring at him and waiting for him to tell you it’s a joke, to punish you. But he doesn’t. No, instead he lets go of one of your hands and stands up, his chest almost brushing yours.

“You said I don’t love you... but I do. I love you. Or maybe I love the idea of you, I don’t know. But either way... I hate how sad you are. How sad and afraid I make you. You're free to go wherever you want.”

You’re practically hyperventilating.

After all this time, you never truly thought he’d ever let you go. That he’d have even a shred of decency left inside him.

He cups your hands together and carefully places something inside them, then turns and walks to the front door, grabbing his keys and leaving the house.

You stand silently, staring at the object in your hands until standing becomes too hard and you think you may throw up.

Then you sit down, silent tears trekking down your cheeks.

“(Y/n)?” You’re not sure how long you’ve been sitting on the couch, staring at your hands, but Natasha’s voice pulls you from your thoughts.

“(Y/n), are you okay? Where’s Steve?”

You stare up at her then look back down at the tiny, life-changing object in your hands.

“He let us go,” you whisper, your glossy eyes raising to hers again.

She looks half as shocked as you feel.

“What?”

You sniffle then wipe the tears off of your cheeks.

“He’s letting us go,” you repeat, pushing yourself to your feet and holding your bump.

“Really?” You nod, eyes finding the backyard through the kitchen window.

Sarah and Morgan are playing outside with Sam and Wanda.

“What are you gonna do?”

Your heart is so full of confusion, full of pain and hurt.

“I’m gonna go cut the cake, then have a talk with Sarah.” She nods, a small smile on her face.

She heads back outside and you take a few deep breaths, trying to calm down before you go out and face Steve’s friends.

You toy with the dainty thing he dropped in your hands before nodding to yourself.

This is what’s right. It’s the right choice for both of you.

You entertain his guests for a few more hours, not wanting to clue them into anything in case they disagree with your decision, with Steve’s.

Only after the presents are given and the cake is almost completely devoured do they finally start to leave.

Wanda helps you tidy up the backyard, writing her phone number down with a soft smile and a whispered ‘if you ever need a friend’.

Everyone bids you goodbye until only Bucky and Nat are left, the metal-armed soldier staring intently at your left hand before a smile spreads across his face.

He surprises you, pulling you into a gentle hug and nodding his head.

“Congratulations, (Y/n).” You’re not sure what he’s talking about, but for some reason, you don’t think it has anything to do with the baby shower.

They leave too, and then you’re virtually alone, Sarah and Morgan asleep upstairs.

After cleaning up every last inch of the house, you head upstairs to go to sleep.

Steve isn’t home until after midnight, long after he lets his tears run dry and his heart stop shattering. It just aches now. Hurts.

He let you go. He really did it.

Deep down he knew this would be the outcome. Either this or your death, but he never wanted to accept it. Refused to admit it to himself.

But seeing Wanda... after all that she’s been through... and she’s still standing strong.

He takes his shoes off and drops his keys on the kitchen counter, freezing in his tracks when he sees the covered plate of cake with his name written on it.

The batter is blue.

A boy.

He’s gonna have a son.

A son that he’ll never get to meet. He’s given you freedom, and he doubts you’ll let him be a part of your child’s life after all that he’s put you through.

He slowly makes his way upstairs, his heart hurting when he sees no sign of your things in the pristine house.

When he pushes open the bedroom door he freezes in his tracks.

There you are, sleeping in his bed. No bags are packed, nothing is out of place, and the dainty diamond ring sits on your finger.

You’ve made your choice, he realizes, his heart jumping for joy in his chest.

He sheds his clothes then climbs into bed with you, wrapping you up in his arms and sighing heavily.

Maybe Wanda was wrong.

Maybe he’ll get his happy ending after all.

#dark!steve #dark!steve x reader #dark!steve rogers #dark!steve x you #steve x reader dark fic #stucky x reader dark fic #Steve rogers x reader dark fic #Steve Rogers x reader #dark!Steve Rogers x reader #Steve X reader dark fic #dark fic #dark au #Steve X reader dark au

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syubub · 3 years ago

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What makes BTS most vulnerable

Woo! A reading! I wanted to do this bc its been on my list for a little while now!

I just got off work and wanted to do this asap! Pls forgive mistakes! I'm not gonna proof read bc im lazy.

Cheeky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!!

So so so so

First off, I did each member and also one for the group! I didn't have a specific plan in mind when I started, so I just went with the flow!

Let's start with the group first

So. The 5 of pentacles is what makes them most vulnerable. This card talks about isolation, feeling lost, anxiety, not having money or influence. Most of all, a mindset of lack.

All of this to me makes me think that what makes them most vulnerable is the fear of being right back where they started. Feeling exiled from the industry, not having the funds to be sure of a stable future and also not having a strong sense of identity as a group and within the group. It's like their vulnerability comes from something almost like ptsd? Let me try to make that make more sense. I genuinely think that where they started and the uncertainty and constant ridicule really had an impact on them. The vulnerability they have as a group is essentially emotional distress? Like, I wish I had better words to explain. It's the fear that they haven't actually grown or gotten anywhere and that they are insignificant that is their vulnerability. Fear based on where they started?

I really hope that made sense. Moving on though, 7 of swords is how it manifests for them. This card is sneaky. It talks about getting away with something and betrayal but I think this meaning is the most relevant: strategic moves. So how their vulnerability manifests is that the fear that they have causes them (and the company) to make very specific moves to keep their fears from happening. It's like, they take steps to make sure their fears don't get realized. Career wise but also personally. They can sometimes force growth because they fear stagnation. Kinda like rolling something uphill? Once it loses momentum it starts rolling back down.

The other two cards, Wellness and busy times and multitasking, are what they can do to lessen that vulnerability. Keeping healthy in mind body and spirit (also keeping the group bond healthy too) as well as channeling their emotions and fears into productivity. (Think the ly:tear album)

Seokjin

This is really intresting. So, what makes him most vulnerable is repressed emotion that causes inner turmoil. The moon is all about your insides and the vastness it has. In its reverse it talks about the darker parts of your subconscious. So, him bottling shit up and repressing it becomes a monster that affects him without him even necessarily knowing.

As for how that manifest in his life, it literally affects his judgment. Like, literally. It messes with his decision making.

As a fellow human with a similar problem, I can almost bet that any issue he has with another member will be shoved away and it will fester until he's at his breaking point and he'll absolutely weaponize it but disguise it as "just poking fun" or he might also purposefully create low level chaos. It's really intresting because this could manifest in so many ways. It could be his insecurities, issues with other people, fears ect and they fester in his brain space fucking with his judgment.

What he can do to lessen this vulnerability is deep emotional healing. Istg these cards are too perfect to make up. He needs to do THE WORK and heal it. He probably recognizes this and is working on it. Its not fair to himself to put himself aside in order to put other people first. (I think this probably happened a lot in the early bts days bc he had to be an older brother and a responsible figure to 6 other kids so he prioritized group harmony over his own issues and emotions)

Yoongi

????

Um, okay. So what makes yoongi most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. That's the 10 of pentacles rev. But it gets interesting bc the 10 of swords isn't what makes him vulnerable but it also isn't how it manifests?? So here's my theory time. What makes him most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. I can only assume that it's the isolation and internal conflict of benefiting off of a system that fucked you over in the first half of your life and also feeling bad for having wealth that most people can never imagine? I really don't know? But with the 10 of swords talking about betrayal and deep wounds, it could be that he's extremely afraid of being taken advantage of? Like, that's another downside of wealth. Maybe people have tried to use him for money or influence? Especially in his personal life. Like, he probably finds it extremely hard to get close to people because he's afraid of betrayal over something that is already hard for him to deal with?

Also loss. He wasn't born rich. He worked his ass off to get what he has and he's probably afraid to lose it. He might "stash" money?

Anyway, knight of swords, how it manifests. This card is about a drive to succeed. So essentially this makes him run and push himself hard and harder and harder to out run what he sees as an inevitable end? Sometimes this can blind him.

As for what he can do to lessen this vulnerability, we have, self confidence through God confidence. This card to me talks about having faith in your actions and skills and trusting in yourself even if you doubt your ability. Essentially, yoongi just needs to trust in himself to land on his feet no matter what happens. Life is always uncertain so he needs to trust that he can weather any storm he might face.

Hoseok

This was one gave me some thoughts. So, similar to jin, it's the bottling shit up and having you subconscious mind eventually figure shit out because it's been neglected but with the 2 of swords in reverse, talking about confusion and being indecisive, I think this kinda causes him to shut down? He might get apathetic. It's almost like when you work a computer so hard that it crashes.

And how this manifests for him with the 3 of pentacles in reverse is that he gets thrown out of alignment with the group. Kinda like how you shouldn't drive on a flat tire. He withdraws and becomes hard to reach and puts up a wall that causes a lot of problems for him as well as those he is around. It's a defense mechanism. It can also manifest in him preferring to work alone as well instead of group settings.

This exposes him to depression and doubt.

Also similar to jin, for how to lessen this vulnerability we have Bless your heart with talks about reaching out (breaking down that wall) and healing your heart and healing the root issue.

Namjoon

Okay. This is the one that makes so much sense but also confuses me.

So. What makes him most vulnerable is the magician rev and 10 of cups. Unrealized potential and poor planning as well as love, harmony and alignment.

So.... what? How does love and the happiest happiness make him vulnerable?

Well, I think he's suspicious of it. I think that he can't help but wonder in his big big big brain if THIS is the right happy or if its really happiness at all? Almost like commitment issues but also not? It's like, he's afraid that it won't last? He might have trouble fully allowing himself happiness. Also, what makes him the most vulnerable is love. It opens up every bit of his soul and puts it on a laundry line for everyone to see and I don't think he thinks he's worthy enough to be seen like that?

As for how it manifests in his life, 9 of cups, personal fulfillment and a strive to have everything else in hislife sorted out? Essentially wanting to have a perfect foundation so eventually he can share with all the important people in his life.

As for what he can do. Value your self worth. pretty straight up. He needs to value himself more. He deserve love and he deserves to feel seen even if it's uncomfortable at first.

Jimin

Oki. What makes jimin most vulnerable is choice. The 7 of cups talks about focusing on what's best for you and making choices based not on illusion. I think jimin is plagued by unrealistic expectations and confronting the fact that it's not possible is what makes him most vulnerable. He makes choices that are driven by illusion. Usually about self. I think specifically about how he doesn't always see how good he already is so he pushes himself to chase after something that isn't always right for him or even there in the first place. Acknowledging and facing it brings vulnerability that he doesn't always want to face. I think he might equate vulnerability to powerlessness.

How it manifests. 9 of wands rev. Paranoia and being defensive. It's his own fear and insecurities manifesting outside of himself.

As for what he can do, passion and purpose and multifaceted. Focus on what is close to his heart and don't get side tracked. Theres so much more to this situation and there isn't an easy fix. There's a lot of things that need working on in order for him to feel comfortable.

Taehyung

Oki oki oki. What makes Tae most vulnerable is strength rev. Raw emotion. He doesn't always express his emotions and when he chooses to be more open, his emotions go through a bit of a filter. Showing his unfiltered emotions makes him most vulnerable because it's him as he is. In his truest form. It's all of his wants, joys, fears. Everything.

As for how it manifests, 10 of wands and Hanged man, it becomes a burden that he carries because he feels like he can't just be honest. He pauses and allows himself time to feel on his own but that means possibly being misunderstood and a bit isolated.

Now. What can he do to lessen it? Bless your heart and healthy communication in relationships. TALKING TO PEOPLE AND ALLOWING HIMSELF THAT VULNERABILITY. It's not bad to be vulnerable. Heal that shit bb bc you are worth it.

Jungkook

So, what makes him most vulnerable? The world in rev. Not having closure and seeking it. The process of seeking closure for himself about things that could have or putting to rest something that has come full circle. It brings vulnerability because he has to face things that he could have done better. He has to face things coming to a close and be okay with is.

How it manifests, the tower, ace of cups, 5 of cups reversed.

The tower is essentially everything crumbling down. I think jk thinks too much? If you follow a ball of yarn all the way to the end then you just unraveled a whole ass ball of yarn.

Him going to close those things cause him to unravel his foundation.

With the ace of cups, creativity and love/ new emotions, I think him taking the time to pursue personal closure helps him to be more open to love as well as giving him creative fuel.

The 5 of cups rev. Means that him doing this closure thing helps him to forgive himself bc he's taking time to move on and tie up loose ends?

For jk this closure thing manifests in every aspect of his like and I almost see it as him shedding? Sounds weird but he's consciously moving on and paying attention to what he needs?

As for what he can do? Deep emotional healing! He runs the risk of feeling more of the tower manifestation so he needs to keep himself emotionally healthy in order for this to be productive instead of destructive!

~~~~~~~

I hope y'all like this! I feel like the cards didn't always follow what I was kinda going for with my questions but it all works out in the end I guess?

My next reading will be up later this week (I've already done it and taken all of my notes. I just have to type it all out) so look foward to that as well!

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finnoky · 4 years ago

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AU where Quirin takes and raises Eugene after the DK falls

•| Send me a potential AU and I’ll tell you five fun facts |•

Oh you have no idea how much this enables me - I stand by Quirin raising Eugene until the end of time bc it’s what they BOTH deserve

1) Oki so, here we see Eugene taken away as a baby without disclosing an EXACT location — that will not stop Quirin though, who had a stance against cutting him off completely despite it being Edmunds orders [It made sense to send the boy away but to send him to an ORPHANAGE was another story] Quirin finds Eugene a month or so after they get separated, during that time he found a house and a stable farm to raise a kid on [Gotta have an income] and then promptly goes to the orphanage and adopts Eugene.

By then, Eugene’s name has already been changed and frankly... Quirin thinks it suits him, though he occasionally slips up and calls him Horace. He feels a duty to raise the Prince but also kinda has a “My son now” mentality! Disagrees with Edmunds choices + decides... His kingdom is doomed, so he’s gonna ensure Eugene gets a stable upbringing with KNOWLEDGE of the Dark Kingdom without necessarily telling him “Oh BTW you’re the prince”. Being a father is hard and he struggles a lot, esp in early days, it’s a whole new challenge from being a knight but... Not one he really regrets?

Cue some fluff! Knight-dad trying to raise a baby and establish a life in a new country — Over time he grows and becomes Village Leader + Develops a bond with the monarchs based on his knowledge and previous high-rank in society from being a knight! Gets offered a guard position but turns it down in favour of spending time with his toddler son. Eugenes first word is Dada and Quirins never felt so content. Baby fluff of Eugenes milestones — Quirin has Eugene helping on the fields as soon as he can toddle without tripping (tho it’s mostly Eugene playing and running around while Quirin works) Toddler Eugene is a little darling and knows exactly how to use his cuteness to get praise and sweets

2) Eugene starts thievery / acting out soon after Quirin dates and marries Ulla, though it soon become a hobby he usually indulges in with his friend Arnie [though they take on the names of the coolest book characters Flynn Rider and Lance Strongbow!] Quirin thinks it’s just a phase and leans into the whole calling Eugene ‘Flynn’ because... He really loves the books, that’s not too odd? Though he doesn’t know of crimes + just thinks they go out to play a lot. Eugene ignored Ulla for the first few weeks because he doesn’t like the idea of someone new staying around — He doesn’t hate her, it just raises a lot of questions about his mum that Quirin doesn’t know how to answer... He resolved on the explaination that she was very sick and couldn’t take care of him anymore, though loved him dearly — it’s enough to placate him.

Eugene doubles down on stealing when he’s 10 and suddenly there’s gonna be a new baby in the house. [He doesn’t WANT a sibling + worries Quirin will love the baby more than him since he knows he’s adopted & all that though is too scared to ask] Eugene grows an attitude and Quirin finds himself exhausted and constantly caught in petty bickers as Eugene keeps running away + acting up, especially to his wife (Who loves Eugene very much, of course) ‘Flynn’ declares he wants to travel the world and be far away from step-mums and nasty babies, uhhh Domestic fall out stuff?

Things change when baby gets here and suddenly Eugene is a big brother and Quirin is MORE distracted, sometimes they forget to even read him a story and he can’t stand the squirmy little creature... All it does is cry and take what little attention his misbehaviour had earned him... So naturally, petty crime continues + Eugene starts caring less about getting caught, so it becomes more risky. He and Lance befriend some bad influences and start taking Big Kid Crime. It’s fun! Until Eugene is brought home by a guard and Quirin gives him the silent treatment for the next week. Quirin... He loves his sons, both of them, but he just isn’t sure how to handle a distressed 11 year old and a baby, it feels like there’s not enough hours in the day and Eugene is SET on making life harder for everyone.

Eugene stays against ‘Varian’, frequently makes the baby the villain in his games and makes him cry on several occasions. It gets even worse when he starts crawling bc now he can’t get anytime alone, it’s just frustrating! The solution probably comes when Varians starting to talk and he says ‘Oo-gee’ as one of his first words — ‘Lisa’s first word’ style — and Quirin and Ulla admit that Varian is obsessed with Eugene. It’s sorta a wake up call for Eugene to start trying to get along with the kid, and it works! He finds it fun to teach him things & have someone to talk to (even if he just babbles back) By the time Eugene is 12 he’s calling Ulla mum and love spending time with his little brother

3) Right! When Eugene is about 18 he picks up theiving again, mostly because he isn’t suited to the farm life and it’s easy money (Plus how else is he gonna achieve his dream of financial independence?) He moves out the farm under the guise of finding a new life with his best friend, though they quickly realise it’s not amazing when they get tangled up with the Baron + his antics. Eugene visits home every so often and claims everything is fine, it’s going great, he doesn’t need any extra help + his life is just dandy. His dishonesty mostly bc he doesn’t wanna worry Quirin and there’s been a bit of a strain since Ulla passed away.

Life keeps on like this. Eugene ages, steals alchemy supplies for Varian and hides his true income source because he wants to make Quirin and Varian proud! Varian grows up to be more headstrong in what he wants because he has someone standing up for him and telling him he’s proud, though the longer Eugene spends away the harder it gets? He loves it when Eugenes here! But the house feels empty without him, and Quirin is so busy + stressed from Varians experiments that there’s still that desire to do more, prove himself.

4) Movie diverts a bit! Eugene finds out about the hair glow and thinks... If one person knows about this then it’s him, and takes Rapunzel to Old Corona over night rather than a campfire. Varian is ecstatic to see him though gets confused by a random girl Eugene claims to have just found — He’s about to ask questions when Eugene asks if Varian could do his magic thing to find out about her hair. Varian insists it’s alchemy and agrees, dragging Raps down into the lab! Boop gothel talks to her when Varians gathering all the equipment and talks her ear off about how cool Eugene is and asks how they found each other since the story is weird... Experiements start!

Meanwhile Eugene is talking to Quirin, when Quirin pulls out a wanted poster and puts it on the table. He finally found out about how bad Eugenes crimes are and wants answers. Now. Eugene sits and tries to explain its not what it looks like, but Quirin doesn’t wanna hear it. The disappointment is evident and Quirin criticises “I thought you grew out of this, what role model is this for Varian?” Eugene doesn’t have an answer but argues his case that it was to be reliant — and he doesn’t wanna do it anymore anyway! Quirin accuses him of using the girl, while Eugene insists her name is Rapunzel and he’s just helping her, get the crown, be set for life and never have to bother him again.

Their argument is cut short by a Varian coming back upstairs looking frazzled, says there’s something about the magic that’s familiar but he can’t place it — sure is strong tho, and continues gushing and asking Eugene for all the details of what he’s been up to. Eugene... Explains, his usual light-hearted rendition of a great quest, while Quirin leaves and stays upstairs the rest of the night.

Varian sees them off in the morning! Hours after they’re gone Vari is still looking into the magic thing — that’s when he remembers the old legend about a sundrop... about how it saved the Queen... About the Princess. Varian sneaks out the house and heads up to the lantern festival to tell Eugene and Rapunzel his revelation, but he gets there just as Eugene is being lead away by guards. Varian finds Max and tells him how they need to free Eugene + basically... Helps him escape with fewer pub thugs and more alchemy. When they get to the tower Eugene tells Varian to stay on the floor and climbs up to help Raps - Varian stays at the bottom of the tower for approx 10 minutes before finding the back entrance and climbing up. Figure he gets there just as Gothel deages, it’s suddenly and before anyone knows it Varian is the one pushing her out the window bc he saw a stabbed Eugene and put two and two together. Then! Cue New Dream scene, except Varian is sitting on the floor in shock a distance away... After New Dream hug Eugene looks at him and Varian admits that “Ok, magic isn’t that bad”

5) Oh god the series! First off — Raps is closer with Varian in this (that’s becoming a theme...) so doesn’t just throw him out into the blizzard when he comes asking for help. Instead he and Eugene go back to Old Corona together after the storm, Varian isolates himself from guilt + has a tough time dealing with what happened, but he lives in the castle as Eugene starts getting angrier with the king and wants answers for what happened. He’s the one that finds Dark Kingdom stuff and he and Varian work on it together... Eugene has a suspicion he came from the Dark Kingdom so when the rocks start pointing there he’s like dope!

No villain Varian joins them on the trek to the Dark Kingdom + it’s all fun and games, Eugene tries to get more answers from Adira as they travel but she says it’s not her place to say... All he needs to know is the kingdom fell, and everyone was evacuated... She’s almost annoyed as she explains it, then Hector is treble annoyed when he finds out Eugene was raised by QUIRIN since that went against the direct orders... Though Adira defends it and says he was doing his duty of keeping Eugene safe, it’s basically a rift between them that’s confusing until they get to the DK and the revelation happens.

I feel... Moongene could be a thing in this AU? but since I’m running out of points I’ll leave it with Cass taking her canon role! I will point out! when Quirin is freed initially only Varian runs into his arms... Eugene hadn’t really spoken to Quirin properly since their movie fallout & he’s not sure he belongs... Until Quirin holds and arm out to him and pulls him into the hug too (PARALLLELS) and we get a happy reunited family (tho with some issues to work out regarding somethings... they need to rebuild trust, but work on it slowly. Edmund stays ‘Edmund’ to Eugene. He sees Quirin as his father & doesn’t push as much to reconnect with Edmund... Though that makes it easier in a way. There’s less pressure once Edmund understands and they form a friendship, but Quirin is Dad 100% (Sometimes Edmund gets called Dad 2))

#tts #tts au #ask #au ask meme #tangled the series #tangled #varian #Eugene #quirin #alternative universe

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splitcycle · 3 years ago

Text

So one thing I've talked about before a little bit in my post about Anji and want to go into more detail on is Conditioning and Mind Games, because it's important in every aspect of a fighting game but it's extra important in neutral, and yet it's really hard to get the hang of.

For one, it's important to note that conditioning works because both players understand the theory behind fighting games to some extent, and what their character and the enemy character is capable of. Even if you don't understand all of the jargon, if you've played fighting games for an extended period you've probably used or had conditioning used against you.

Let's break it down for a sec. Say I'm playing Axl Low in Guilty Gear Strive. My opponent runs at me and I hit them with my 2p, and then followup with sickle flash because I was downbacking to charge it. I hit them and then use my 2 followup for a bunch of hits and then I back up. If they run at me again I'll be in a position to do it again. If they fall for it again, then that's good for me.

Usually someone only falls for that a couple times, though. Eventually they'll figure out that I'm ready for them running at me and try something else. When they do this, the goal is to make my opponent think, "Okay so clearly Axl is gonna catch me again on the ground so I need to try a different approach" and then try coming at me from a different angle. If they then run in and jump at me I can hit them with my 6K if they try a slow jump in and if they airdash I can 2S them.

Either of these can be blocked on the correct timing or I can even try running under my opponent or jumping in/using other antiairs. My goal as Axl is to condition you into taking the action I want you to and then when you do, set you up for a combo.

The catch is that while I'm conditioning my opponent, they're trying to see through my conditioning so that they don't fall for it while simultaneously conditioning me to take an action that will benefit them. This is where the mind games start.

Incidentally, the fact that this hinges on both players knowing what they're doing means that conditioning doesn't work properly on someone that doesn't know what they're doing at all, or that plays without thinking at any point. This is why sometimes the more skilled player loses to a new player mashing senselessly, because the more experienced player is competent enough to play a cautious and measured neutral and reach and poke for an opening, only to not be able to find a useful one because their opponent never stops pushing buttons and waggling the stick. If the character in question is really fast, sometimes the random mashing just. . . Doesn't leave enough of one for a newer player to use, even if they know what they're doing, kind of.

The easy answer to all this is to study the frame data, learn the matchup. If you know for a Fact that a move is minus enough on block for you to hit them after it you can just. Hit them out of their pressure. Once you know what pressure is and isn't safe to attack after, you can utilize that information to punish their randomness.

Of course, not knowing what you're doing doesn't make you immune to being conditioned, it just makes it harder for inexperienced players to do it to you.

Moving away from the Axl example, I think it will be a good idea to go back to Anji Mito for a little, because his Many, MANY useful mixup options rely on good mind games.

If I'm playing Anji and I'm trying to land one of his better combos, I'm going to need to land his 2H.

Anji's 2H is slow but powerful, and is the start point for a lot of his really big combos. Sure, he has others, and even a few that hit confirm into Fuujin, but if you want the big hits 2H is in there somewhere, usually. One of the better routes for this is c.S -> 2H->Fuujin->Rin-> however you want to follow that up. Obviously that would be really predictable, and 2H is so slow that it's hard to land it on its own, so sometimes you need to apply some unorthodox pressure.

For one it's hard to get in range for that string, so sometimes you'll be making use of pokes instead, and others you'll be advancing with autoguard. In doing this, You're gonna be trying to condition an opponent into covering the option that you aren't going for, and so you'll be conditioning them for Fuujin->S so you can catch them with Fuujin->P of Fuujin->K. Once you've got them conditioned to be downbacking and caught them in a move that's plus on block you have some time to act. When they aren't falling for that or they anticipate a Fuujin->P and jump you can catch them with another option you prepared for that purpose.

And if you can prep them for an S followup and then use your K followup to get close, you can throw them and set up shitsu in oki to close distance and start pressuring harder, and if they take a hit from the butterfly then you can catch them in that precious c.S->2H you've been fishing for.

Of course, none of this matters if they see through your plans, so being tricky is important, even if you aren't a dedicated mixup character.

#axl low #anji mito #guilty gear strive #guilty gear xrd #guilty gear #ggstrive #ggxrd #fighting game glossary #fighting games

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simptasia · 4 years ago

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Top 5 Cats the Musical moments AND Top 5 Cats the Musical Movie moments? 😂

oh bless you!!

tho i have to say i’m not nearly as familiar with cats as a stage musical as i am the movie. i’ve seen bits and pieces of the 98 version (i’ve seen misto’s, skimble’s and griz’s songs fully. and parts of the other songs, enough to know what they sound like. and like i watched somebody else watch the 98 version, which gave me the Gist but it’s not the same, obviously). meanwhile i’ve seen the 2019 version 3 times (been on painkillers every single time! not on purpose just amazing timing) AND i’ve watched all of the scenes over and over and analysed it to bits..... so mayhaps i’m a tad underqualified here

so i can give a top 5 for 2019 cats but i don’t feel secure in doing the same for the 98 version. BUT i will say this: all of misto’s song is amazing and “presto” hits harder than any drug. misto’s presto is deservedly iconic

okie this is gonna be hard for me. 98 the problem is i don’t have enough cuz i haven’t seen it properly. 2019 the problem is theres just too many

also i’d like to preface this by saying im at a point where i genuinely adore this movie (aware of the problems, certainly) and i can’t regard it as a bad movie anymore. last time i watched it, i was having the time of my fucking life

so the first half is misto’s song is cute and awkward (and its meant to be, i will defend this song, damn it. tho laurie cannot hold a note, aw honey...) but the second half? when the triumph kicks in? that is golden! golden i tells you! during which i am experiencing genuine euphoria. it’s all good, the whole song is good for me and i love misto so much. but like a moment during this that REALLY gets me tho is when old deut has come back and it cuts to misto looking so overjoyed and the music kicks the fuck in into triumph mode and that is the bit that makes me cry. like a laugh cry. it’s so good, so good. that shit is PEAK

i can’t pick a favourite part of skimbleshank’s song and nobody should. the entire thing is great and it pretty much plays continiously in my head. i dunno if 5 minutes counts as A Moment but fuck it all. he’s a cat that. cannot. be. ignored

griz’s song, memory, is of course amazing. i don’t even need to say that. but also like her “TOUCH ME” is so powerful it’s like all of my organs were being pulled towards the screen at once. thats the best way i can describe it. fuck me that hits like a motherfucker

okay i’ve made it abundantly clear that my love of robbie fairchild’s performance in this has evolved into uh, worshipful. love me a theatre bitch. chaotically sincere and sincerely chaotic. but i can’t just say “every moment with munkustrap” because thats so much of the movie! king!!! this movie rests upon this lovely stripy shoulders! and picking like BEST? for him?? impossible. but i will mention two scenes: the passionate and loving performance given during “old dueteromony”. the singing is beautiful and the aaaacting is lush. that bit when munku nuzzles old deut is A++++. mwah. and the other scene being his background acting during the ad-dressing of cats. the one where he’s emoting so fucking much in the background. and he’s doing that the whole movie actually but its more obvious there. i’ve been to that scene a lot and lemme tell you whatever frame you get of munku in that scene is fucking gold. special mention goes to what he does when old duet mentions the caviar. also i cannot stress enough that robbie does not blink!!! he’s a mad lad!!!!

i love all of jellicle songs for jellicle cats, great song, proper bop. and i dunno if this is my fave part but i think it deserves to be on here, i like when we get to the slow verse where its all like religious and stuff, they’re reaching up towards the everlasting cat as they sing and i think its beautiful. then these lyrics happen (and munku is guiding victoria thru these lyrics, which is nice) “feline, fearless, faithful to others that do...” and the macavity says “what”. and then suddenly the song goes back to really fast paced again. i dunno, i just love the way that part hits. i dunno if it should go in the top five, there are other moments i love more, a lot of them didn’t feel Big Enough. so they’re going in honorable mentions

i wanna give honorable mentions to

misto’s “romantical cats!” with his heart paws

“how will they be chosen?” “by singing the song of themselves, of course” i love that line because it perfectly expresses that this movie will express it’s concept entirely sincerely without a hint of irony. and i like that

every time misto and victoria nuzzle. oh and that heavy breathing held gaze tension moment they have after the bit with the dog [bleps]

misto and munku dosed on catnip cuz i’m a horny fuck, okay

munku and victoria’s lovely dance followed by misto suddenly yelling his own name and juggling. yeah that about sums it up

“macavityyyyyy [whoosh]”

the little chin hold munku gives misto. i’ve seen robbie do that in other things and it’s always towards a love interest. interesting

the jellicle ball. in general. but especially misto and victoria dancing together and munku and skimble dancing together. and all is right with the world

i really like beautiful ghosts (musically and character wise. the scene itself isn’t very interesting to look at but oh well) and i especially like “all that i wanted, was to be wanted”. like for me that informs a lot of victoria’s character. that stuck with me, i like it

munku’s tear during memory

“you... are the jellicle choice” and griz’s reaction. felt that

“up, up, up to the heavyside layer!” (with the bonus that misto is lighting the candles in time with the music, and thats satisfying as heck)

jennyanydots’ eye rolly joke during tugger’s song is worth it because of munkustrap’s reaction to it. his “oh you’re so bad!” laugh followed by looks that say “oh no, i shouldn’t laugh at that, i’m supposed to be sensible. hehe”. you can tell they’re good friends, it’s endearing

SKIMBLE AGGRESSIVELY TAP DANCING TOWARDS GROWLTIGER

i can’t pick a specific part of mungo and rumple’s song but i love victoria going into silly mode, and also just mungo and rumple’s Vibes, ya know. extra special mention to victoria and rumple’s obvious chemistry

fuck it, any time misto is a klutzy endearing (not so) little baby. OH WAIT i wanna point out how fucking proud of himself he is when he sings about his family repeatedly calling him in. that is the epitome of a cat, amazing

there’s more, there’s always more, but that’s currently... enough

i’m very into this movie, can you tell. like i’ll dunk on it, but i love it

it’s my special interest and i’m here to have a good time, babey

#cats 2019 was good actually #i have proof [holds up a piece of paper that says ''i love it'']#i happen to have amazing suspension of disbelief #and clearly im feeling this movie with my whole heart and puss #lady autism is a chaotic mistress #don't get me wrong theres a lot of mistakes and bad decisions made here #like certain casting and character decisions #and whoever edited this movie should be SHOT #basically my problems with this movie are to do with directing and editing #and i recognise the way they did the music was. like technically just wrong #im not equipped to explain it #but nonetheless i really enjoy the songs anyways #despite some off key notes and warped orchestration #basically fuck tom hooper #this movie is good to me because the actors and musicians and CGI artists doing their fucking BEST #and i just really enjoy it!#the first time i watched it was a little disorientating but i adapted #and well here we are #also fyi just because i didn't give a mention to a character or a song doesn't mean i don't like that character or song #for example tugger has grown on me. wish they didn't underplay him #the reformed ringwraith

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tumblebee-the-smol-bean · 4 years ago

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What about another classification universe but everyone is a cg. Everyone but Logan. Logan's on the baby side of regressing and once he found out (he's younger then the rest) he hid. The others had already subconsciously been babying him. He breaks down one day when him and Roman get into another playful fight and everything comes to light. Maybe he has an accident and tries so hard to prove he's big but the others aren't having it and baby him to no end.

.””okie dokie! this took sooooo long to get out. apologies but motivation to write is hard, I appreciate the ask. (:

Logan sat in his living room staring blankly at the TV as it played a nature documentary he’d seen a thousand times. He’d gotten his letter today. Everyone else had gotten theirs a year ago since they were all older than him. Thats just what happens when you’re in highschool and have a summer birthday.

He’d known what he was going to get of course, in terms of class. He’d picked up on his own tendencies and the questions were fairly obvious, at least to him. No Logan wasn’t shaken up because he got classified as a regressor, he’d known that would be the result for quite some time. What freaked him out was how young his age range was estimated to be.

0-18 months. That didn’t even reach the two year mark. It was ridiculous, he was clearly intelligent, he had aced all of his classes thus far, being a baby just didn’t make any sense. He sighed to himself, perhaps a mistake was made, that happened sometimes, he would go back and get retested as soon as possible, perhaps swing the questionnaire just to make sure.

While he was thinking about it his phone pinged and he glanced over at it reflexively, a message from patton.

Hey kiddo! Congrats on getting your classification today! I’m so so so excited for you!!! Why don’t you come over and we can talk about it? Ro and Dee are here too. :D

Logan shook his head, of course. He should have expected a message such as this. Patton was a caregiver as was everyone in the group it seemed, everyone except him...As such they tended to all baby him without really thinking about it even though for all they knew he could have been a caregiver himself.

Roman would always try and defend his honor, whatever that meant, Virgil tended to be overprotective of Logan and very cautious around him and for him, Janus would always be the one to convince him to take a break from his much overdone essay and take a nap, Remus didn’t threaten to disembowel him at the drop of a hat, and Patton while he acted as everyone’s father figure to an extent was always much more so with Logan.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to go over and “discuss” seeing as he didn’t know how he felt about it himself, he knew it was unlikely Patton would drop it seeing as they seemed to have these discussions every time someone in the group got classified, something Patton’s psych major brother Emile had recommended. Logan had always been behind it, it made logical sense, but just not with himself. Sorry. I cannot as I am busy, my apologies.

Then he locked his phone, he didn’t feel like getting in a texting war with Patton asking about his feelings. He suddenly felt very very drained. It was time for a nap.

oOo

Logan woke up to 20 missed messages and a knocking at the door. He groaned, whoever it was could- “Lo? It’s Patton. are you in there?”

of course Patton had come to check on him. No doubt Virgil convinced him something terrible had happened but he really wasn’t in the mood right now. He swung open the door to tell him he was fine and to go away and let him sleep but before he could Roman, who apparently had come with him as well as Janus pushed his way past him into his house.

“Roman! what are you doing?!”

He snorted “Well I’m coming in and making myself comfortable for the chat obviously. Shame on you for scaring Patton like that.”

Logan purses his lips. Of course Roman was doing this. He always did. It wasn’t fair! He felt like stomping his foot for a moment before realizing how ludicrous and unhelpful it would be. “Roman, kindly get out of my home. I have no intention of discussion, my class is my business” well at least it was out in the open now. “Lo...” Patton had shuffled in behind Roman and looked torn between apologizing for the dramatic one’s behavior and having a ‘talk’ with Logan. Janus puts a hand on his shoulder to stop this. “Hold on a second dear Patton, their banter always is fun to watch.” Patton looks very disapproving at him for that but its too late, the playfight has already started. “Ohoho! So the nerd wants to be all secretive huh?” Roman smirked “Roman, I am not in the mood” Logan glared “Go home and take Patton and Janus with you” he turned around to go back to his room. “goodbye”

“Awww, but that’s no fun!” he smiled and it looked as mischievous as one of Remus’s which Logan decided was definitely worrying and not at all comforting “Buuuuut I bet you hide all your stuff in a boring place...under your bed maybe? If you won’t tell me maybe I’ll just have a little look-see” he dashes off in that direction before Logan can do anything. Patton dashes after him. “ROMAN NO!”

A cold feeling seized in Logan’s chest. This didn’t feel playful anymore, at least not to him. Normally he would stop Roman himself and proceed to yell at him and berate him for a half hour but now...He broke down sobbing and fell to the floor. someone is saying something. His ears told him. Someone is saying your name, someone is crying, oh wait...that’s you. “Logan?” Janus tried. The boy had just collapsed and started wailing, he knew things were getting heated but he never expected this reaction from him unless....of course. “Logan darling, its okay,” he put on his caregiver voice and cautiously placed a hand on his shoulder to try a bit of physical contact “Shhhhh, shhh, love it’s okay, you’re alright.”

“N-no! gonna, f-fin me out!”

“oh sweetheart” Jan sighed “I think we already have” He began to cry harder upon hearing that and Janus was quick to move to the couch with him as Patton finally emerged from Logan’s bedroom with a very guilty looking Roman after stopping him from snooping. “Oh poor thing!” he cooed and rushed over “Aww, I’m so sorry baby, Ro didn’t mean to make you sad. He shouldn’t have done that” he shot a pointed glance at Roman “But he didn’t mean to hurt you little star, how old are you baby?”

Logan raised his head from where he had burried it in Janus’s shirt and blinked owlishly at Patton.

“mmm” “well that wasn’t exactly an answer” Roman mumbled only to yell “OW! Hey!” when Janus swatted him atop the head “Do try not to be stupid right now Roman, we need all the braincells you have to take care of this one, and that was an answer, since he didn’t respond with actual words he’s obviously a baby. Patton will you go get a few of the supplies I keep in my car?” Patton nodded and went to go do as requested while Logan frowned. He wasn’t a baby, he couldn’t be a baby. He was supposed to be smart. He was Logan Berry. He was not a baby. So he pushed himself as far as he could out of that warm soft space. Turns out he couldn’t push very far since he ended up in the mindset of a toddler. “Not a baby!” he insisted to Janus, with what said side personally thought was an adorable pout. “Oh no?” he raised an eyebrow, two seconds ago Logan wasn’t even forming words and now he was in an arguing mood it seemed. “Well color me surprised, are you by chance repressing your headspace Logan”

Crap Janus was onto him and his friend was scarily good at detecting lies. Still, he had to try,

“Noooo”

Janus tutted, “Thats what I thought, why are you doing that to yourself little one? You know we don’t mind you being extra small. But that was just it wasn’t it? Logan started to tear up again. Why couldn’t he have just been an older regressor? Preferably nine or ten. That would be so much easier and he wouldn’t feel so helpless and stupid. However when he tried to articulate that all that came out was, “Don wanna be extra small!” Janus to his credit didn’t even seem remotely phased. “And why is that?”

“Cuz m’ Logan! supposed to work hard nd be smart”

Janus nods along for a moment before he turned his gaze back to Logan and without missing a beat asked, “And have you ever considered the fact that you work so hard is why you regress so young?”

He blinked, he hadn’t but...it did make sense. “And therefore you regressing so young is a good thing and very clever of your subconscious”

Logan could have a thousand arguments to that, could debate his way out if he really wanted to and insist he didn’t need it but...now that someone had shown him affection and assured him they didn’t mind...he didn’t want to. He just wanted to return to that soft happy place and let all his worries melt away, let someone else worry for him for a change. So he nodded and let go, let himself slip back and just relax and bask in the care.

“There you are baby” Janus cooed with a smile as Patton returned with the gear. He waved at Logan and smiled, taking him from Janus. “Hey there baby boy! you wanna get in some comfier clothes?” Logan whined, suddenly realizing his tie was very uncomfy around his neck and pawed at it causing Patton to giggle. “I’ll take that as a yes. Don’t worry kiddo, lets go raid your closet yeah?”

Logan nodded and Patton made sure to keep a tight hold of him as he carried the boy to the bedroom where he shyly picked out a pastel blue sweatshirt with floppy sleeves and mathematical patterned pajama pants to wear. Patton cooed over him the entire time and about how cute he was in the ensemble. “Such a cute lil math baby!”

by the time they returned to the living room Janus had everything set up. There was a big soft blanket spread out with multiple baby toys like keys, soft toys, building blocks etc. Logan was immediately reaching for the blanket, but then he was whining as Roman pulled his hand away from his mouth. huh, when had that gotten there? “Fingers are yucky little prince, try this instead” A pacifier was gently pushed into his mouth as a substitute and he sucked on it experimentally. Luckily he deems it acceptable and flops twoards the blanket again where Patton sets him down. He immediately heads for the shape puzzles.

The three watch him for as long as he needs. He’s played with, cooed over, and snuggled within an inch of his life. When the day comes to a close and he’s still regressed Janus holds him in his lap and feeds him a bottle before Roman tells him a bedtime story and Patton tucks him in. Logan loves them all so much, and he knows they love him too.

#Age Regression #sfw age regression #agere sfw #agere logan #caregiver roman #caregiver janus #caregiver patton #sanders sides agere #sanders sides #sanders sides fic

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keysszz · 4 years ago

Text

Its Ok to Cry

ROTTMNT Fanfic

'No Mikey, you let go.'

'Oh... Okie dokie!'

He watched the box turtle fall as he began to aim the web goo at the spider lady. She landed into the vault with the door slamming shut; a smile forming on the softshell's face. He flew his bug vehicle to catch his orange brother... But he was falling too fast.

He heard him screaming his name, falling as the genius tried to fly down fast enough. He tried to catch him, but he was falling too fast and the ground was coming closer and closer and~

He woke up in a cold sweat; startled by his nightmare. He had been having the same one for weeks now, and he hated it. The way it would end would change every night, but it had two frequent outcomes. Mikey would either get captured by Big Mama, or he would fall to his death. He thought that he was past this, but it seemed like his brain had other things in mind.

Why...why did he tell his younger brother to let go? Yeah, he ended up catching him in the end but...what if he hadn't? What if he miscalculated; but he could never do that, he was a genius...right?

Big Mama was a huge threat to the turtles brothers (even if the purple masked turtle didn't want to admit it), and she could have grabbed Mikey if she really wanted to. If Donnie hadn't shot the web goo at her with the right angle and momentum, she would have gotten the box turtle with one swoop. In seconds, Mikey would be in her grasp; or worse, in seconds, he could have died.

Donnie sat up in his bed with his knees up. He hugged them as he tried to make the thoughts go away so he wouldn't be up for so long, but he knew it wouldn't work. He sighed a shaky breath as he stared at the wall, trying to make his breathing be a little normal.

It was far easier than the last time he had this nightmare. One time he couldn't breath for three minutes; making the softshell think he would hypervenalate too much and pass out.

He was supposed to be the genius of the family; to calculate angles and plans easily. But...this one had seemed so simple; he didn't think about the possible consequences. One wrong more and his brother was taken from him... One wrong moved and his brother was too far for him to catch... One wrong move... And his brother was gone.

He...he was scared. Of what, he didn't exactly know. But his younger brother was so close to being in the arms of "Ms. Fiddly Boo" that he wondered if she could reach him. Mikey could have also fallen faster; making Donnie not be able to catch him in time. Why did he tell his brother to let go? Why did he tell his brother to fall? Why did he tell him to let go?

He sighed again as his breath slowly returned to normal; his lungs no longer aching as they tried to get air into them. He slowly got out of bed and walked out of his room; hoping that coffee would make him feel better.

He walked to the kitchen and made the coffee; sipping it slowly to get the full effect (and to not burn his tongue). The bitter taste that the coffee brung filled his mouth, making him smile lightly. At least something was real at the moment.

Real...was the nightmare real? Sure, it felt real, but it wasn't a real thing that happened. It could have happened, but it didn't. So why did he feel so rotten inside?

He felt his smile slowly fade into a frown. He poured the rest of his coffee down the sink and stared as it went.

In a way, the coffee was like his soul...

Yeah, the coffee happened to be black, but he felt like his soul would leave him if Mikey was hurt (if it wasn't already gone to begin with). He knew he would never let himself be ok with it; the endless amounts of times he would feel pain, the amounts of nightmares he would get. He would have wanted himself to get hurt, not Mikey. Mikey was too young, too niave, too-

Sighing again, the softshell walked slowly back to his room.

Should he build the younger turtle a battle shell? Mikey's shell was way harder than Donnie's, but it would help the softshell cope with...this whole situation.

The way Mikey smiled when the genius caught him... It pained the purple turtle. Mikey knew he would catch him; something deep inside told the orange turtle that Donnie would be there for him. Something told the box turtle that everything would be ok. How would Mikey feel in the afterlife if Donnie let him down; if the concrete had made contact with him, if the spider had caught him?

Donnie didn't want to think this way, but he had been doing it for many nights now that it started to feel normal. A part of his nightly routine if you will, and he wanted to at least make the memories fade away.

The screams of terror that followed the fall... Mikey was scared. He knew Donnie would catch him; but being up that high with the ground slowly coming into view wasn't the best thing to look at. He trusted his brother... Something that Donnie just couldn't do himself.

He was halfway to his room when he saw a small light in his younger brother's room. He tilted his head slightly in confusion as he walked towards the room; spotting a blanket in the middle of the floor with a figure underneath. There was a light coming out from the small "fort", and the blanket moved as the figure inside did as well.

"Mikey?" Donnie pondered as he walked closer to the blanket. "What are you doing up?"

The said box turtle slowly lifted his blanket; a smile appearing when he noticed who was in the room with him. Mikey had appeared to be drawing as the flashlight lit up the small fort he made, making him able to see.

"Hey Dee!" Mikey greeted. "I wasn't sleepy, so I decided to draw."

"On the floor?" Donnie pondered.

"It's easier to draw on the floor than on the bed," Mikey responded. "Plus, a change of scenery is always nice."

He patted the floor beside him; Donnie slowly walking over to his orange brother. He sat down beside the box turtle and watched him draw; silence filling the room.

Should he tell Mikey about his nightmares? He didn't want to alarm the young turtle, and he really wasn't good at sharing his feelings. But something in him told the softshell that his brother would understand. It was Mikey after all, and he was way better at feelings than Donnie was.

"What were you doing up?" Mikey asked him suddenly, bringing Donnie out of his train of thought.

"Um..." Donnie said as he tried to think up an excuse. "Inventing."

"Ooo!" Mikey exclaimed softly; never looking up from his drawing. "What are you making?"

"Well...um... It's more like tweaking something..." Donnie responded. "Lets just say its a secret."

"Oh, Okie dokie!" Mikey smiled up at the genius as he focused more on his drawing.

Donnie flinched slightly. That line... Mikey had said the same thing when he let go of the vehicle, and it surprised the softshell. Mikey seemed to notice and he looked up at Donnie confused.

"You ok, Dee?" He asked in concern.

"Yeah, yeah," Donnie brushed of the younger turtle's question. Mikey didn't stop looking at the softshell; Donnie could feel his concern rising with every second.

"Donnie, I have a question," Mikey said; his gaze never leaving the genius.

"What is it?" Donnie asked.

"Are you... Are you still worried about that night?" Mikey questioned. "You know, the one with Big Mama and me falling?"

Donnie stared at Mikey. He sighed as he looked in the other direction. Of course Mikey would know if something was up; he was always good at figuring out if his brother were hurt.

"Maybe..." Donnie replied as he turned back to face the box turtle.

"Donnie, it's ok," Mikey said as he placed his arm on his older brother. Since Donnie didn't flinch, he kept talking.

"I'm safe now, I'm not hurt."

"But you could have been hurt!" Donnie responded; lowering his voice once he realized he was too loud.

"Big Mama could have caught you, or I could have missed when I was coming to get you."

"But you didn't," Mikey reassured. "I'm ok now."

"It's just..." Donnie began; ready to tell the box turtle the truth. "The nightmares... They're so vivid..."

"You're having nightmares?" Mikey asked in concern.

"Yeah..." Donnie responded. "They aren't that bad, per say, but they're frightening. The ground comes up so fast, and seeing you hit it and go unconscious... I just..."

His voice choked up as he talked; trying not to let too much of his feelings show. He wasn't going to cry; but man, was he close to doing so.

The whole time Mikey listened to Donnie; another thing that the softshell liked about his younger brother. He listened, and he didn't talk until he knew that his brothers were finished talking.

"Donald..." Mikey said quietly. "I didn't know you felt that way... I'm sorry..."

"Why are you apologizing?" Donnie questioned. "It's not your fault."

"But I still made you worry," Mikey replied. "I knew you were gonna catch me, but you didn't trust yourself."

Donnie sighed again; his breath shaking. He looked at Mikey as a smile slowly appeared on the box turtle's face.

"You can cry, Donnie" Mikey told him. "I won't mind."

"I'm not gonna cry," Donnie said. "I'm fine..."

"Its better to let your feeling go than to bottle them up," Mikey reassured. "Go ahead, I won't tell anyone."

Sniffles came out of the softshell as they slowly turned into cries. He cried silently as Mikey hugged him; tears going down the younger turtle's plastron. Mikey didn't tell him to stop; he let Donnie cry. He knew that it was hard for Donnie, and he wanted to make sure that everything was alright. He knew that feelings were hard for him, and he was surprised that Donnie actually had started to cry.

Nevertheless, he let the purple turtle cry until he couldn't.

Five minutes had passed, and Donnie's cries turned into just sniffles.

"Sorry..." He murmured.

"Don't be sorry, Dee," Mikey told him. "You need to cry every once in a while."

"Yeah, I guess..." He said. He then smiled softly at his brother. "Thanks."

"No problem!" Mikey smiled. He then looked at his drawing. "Wanna watch me draw some more?"

"I have nothing better to do," Donnie chuckled.

Mikey grinned as he started to draw again, Donnie watching as he did so. Donnie really had to control his feelings, but for now, knowing that his brother was ok was all he was worrying about.

#rottmnt

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thegoodthebadthesickly · 5 years ago

Text

Chase Stein- Concussion

Request- Concussion

Fandom- Marvel's Runaways (TV)

Requested by KeilaMarie102 on Wattpad

@badthingshappenbingo

Stars are Completed. Swirls are Requests

CW: Language

At some point in the literal insanity that was fighting their parents and bring down the billion dollar cult, that they'd started, Chase's fistagons had gone on the fritz and he'd informed his friends that the parts he needed to fix them were in his dad's workshop.

They'd been smart: don't take the whole team, take the back roads so they couldn't be followed, wait until everyone is out of the house. You know, you're typical spy movie rundown. Apparently, Chase thought as he and Nico stepped into the workshop to see Tina Minoru and his own dad doing their best to look the part of the concerned parent™, they hadn't been careful enough.

There was some brief talk of going quietly and trying to get Gert and Chase to tell them where the hostel was...yada yada. Then came the fun part or the bad part, depending on how this all played out.

"Flip!" Nico yelled, holding the Staff of One between herself and her mom. The spell had it's desired effect, though. Nico watched as Tina was swept off her feet and tumbled backwards through the air. The effect didn't last long, though. Nico barely had time to take a breath before her mom was full on Naruto running at her, which might have been a little funny under different circumstances, and managed to land a kick that sent Nico reeling backwards into a metal table before she could think of a good counter spell.

Nico's vision went fuzzy for a moment, almost like a bad connection on a television, but when she could see clearly again, she saw her mom walking towards her.

"Go away!" Nico said with all of the strength she had left, aiming the Staff of One at Tina. Then, her mom was just, gone. Nico thought this might throw a wrench in things later on, but she couldn't think about that right now. She had bigger things to worry about at present.

Chase was in the heart of the workshop, presumably collecting the supplies he would need, leaning heavily against a work table. Victor was walking up behind him, Chase either too busy or too hurt to react.

"Ch'se-" Nico choked out, her mouth full of cotton. "Cha'e look out!" She got to her feet shakily and tried again, louder this time. She would never get to him in time.

"Chase!" She screamed again, catching his attention this time.

"Wha-oof" Chase turned around just in time to see his dad swinging his fist. Chase tried to dodge, but he thought he must have slipped. He was falling, then there was a sharp pain, then nothing.

"Walk away!" Nico yelled as she braced herself against the bench, desperate to get Victor away from Chase. Victor was about to swing again, but something seemed to come over him as he put the tank down and just walked away. Nico could barely breathe as she watched him walk out the doors of the workshop.

Once she was sure Victor was gone, Nico made her way over to Chase slowly, that kick her mom had landed had at least bruised a few ribs, worst case, they were broken.

Nico bit her cheek so hard she tasted blood. She saw the table first, dark red blood on the edge where it had made contact with Chase's head.

Then she saw Chase. He still wasn't moving, but the shallow rise and fall of his chest told Nico that he was breathing, which was better than not. Unlike her mom, Victor had managed to get several good hits in on Chase. His face was bloody and bruised and Nico could just see the cut on the back of his head from the table. It oozed blood in a sickening way.

Nico dropped to her knees and checked Chase over for any immediately life threatening injuries. Lifting up his shirt, she saw angry bruises that were already forming. So ditto on the bruised ribs.

"Chase" She called.

Nothing.

"Chase" She tried again, smacking Chase's cheek lightly.

Nothing again.

"Chase. Wake up! We need to get out of here!" Nico tried again with another, harder smack to Chase's cheek and trying to swallow down the panic rising in her chest.

"Mmm" Chase groaned.

Nico sighed in relief.

"Chase, I don't know how long we've got until the rest of out parents get here. C'mon, aren't you supposed to be a super jock or something?" Nico snarked, shaking Chase's arm.

"Gert would call that heteronormative bullshit." Chase mumbled, opening his eyes.

Nico tried to tamp down the relief she felt. Now was not the time to reflect on her feelings for her friends.

"Shut up." Nico rolled her eyes. "How's your head?"

"Hurts like a bitch." Chase huffed.

"Let me see." Nico said, gently pushing Chase's head to one side so she could get a good look at the cut on the back of his head.

"Agh!" Chase growled, pain pulsing through his head.

"Sorry, sorry!" Nico hissed. When she finally got a good look at the wound, Nico's stomach did flips. It was small, but jagged and bloody. There was so much blood.

"Head wounds bleed a lot." Chase offered calmly, seeming to read Nico's mind. "That's what coach Alphona always told us, anyway." Chase mumbled. "We need to put pressure on it to stop the bleeding. If I lose too much blood, I'll go into shock." He explained calmly.

Pressure. Pressure." Nico repeated the mantra, getting to her feet. Nico looked around and spotted a mostly clean oil rag. It was far from sterile, but it'd have to do.

"How are you so calm right now?" Nico asked, casting a look back at Chase and walking over to retrieve the rag and wipe off as much gunk as possible.

"With Victor Stein as a dad, freaking out only makes him hit harder." Chase answered, squeezing his eyes shut as another wave of pain rolled over him.

"Here." Nico offered, worrying at her lip again. She hadn't expected Chase to be so honest. She'd known Chase's dad wasn't great, had maybe been a little more perceptive than some of their other friends, but that was...woah.

Chase opened his eyes to see that she was holding an oil rag out to him. He took the rag and hissed quietly as he held it to his head.

"Can you stand?" Nico asked, wanting to get as far away from this topic as possible.

"Possibly?"

"Good enough for me." Nico shrugged, getting to her feet and putting out her hand to help Chase up.

Nico managed to pull Chase into a sitting position before he made her stop.

"Gonna puke" He warned, a nauseating pain shooting through his skull as the workshop spinning dangerously around him.

"Ew" Nico dropped Chase's hand and stepped back slightly.

"You good?" Nico asked after a moment.

"I'm not going to pass out if that's what you're asking." Chase huffed and tried to blink the spots out of his eyes, hoping that was true.

"I was actually asking if you were going to hurl all over me. We're super limited on fashionable options as runaways and I'd like to hold off looking like Little Orphan Annie as long as possible." Nico smirked.

"Relax, Minoru, I'll aim away from you're 'fit." Chase laughed, immediately regretting the sudden movement that made the world tilt on its axis again.

"You good?"

"Dizzy."

"Can you stand? I really don't want to be here whenever my mom gets back from wherever I sent her."

Chase looked confused.

"I told her to go away." Nico explained, gesturing to the Staff of One.

"Huh"

"Yeah. That's why we should be long gone before anyone gets back." Nico pushed, holding her hand out to Chase again.

Chase took Nico's hand and tried to help support his own weight, but really only succeeded in almost blacking out again. So, Nico was left to figure out how to pull up 220 pounds of dead weight. Chase had to admit he was impressed though, Nico made pretty quick work of hauling him up and onto his feet. Although, between the pain in his head and the newfound pain in his ribs, Chase nearly fell over as soon as she let go of him again.

"How you doing?" Nico asked Chase as she pulled him up.

"There were three of you earlier. Now there's just two."

"That's an improvement." Nico sighed, positioning herself under Chase's arm to support most of his weight

"Woah," Chase mumbled, swaying slightly. "These stars are bright."

That was definitely the opposite of an improvement. "What?" Nico asked, still trying to make sure Chase didn't keel over again. "Nevermind. You're definitely concussed." She decided, pushing his hand back up to his head where it had become lax.

"Mmm" Chase looked at Nico sleepily, not even seeming to register the pain of the rag on the cut.

"Woah, woah, woah, don't go to sleep!" Nico blanched. "That's really bad, or something." Why was she so useless in a medical crisis? "We're gonna walk to the car now. Just-" Nico looked Chase up and down, seeing how his breathing was shallow and his eyes drooped sleepily. "Just don't die in the next twenty minutes."

"Okie dokie." Chase sighed.

Once again, moving seemed to be a lot easier said than done for Chase. The concussion, Nico prayed that it was just a concussion, seemed to have completely knocked out Chase's sense of balance and she basically ended up carrying him to the jeep they'd 'borrowed' a few days ago. By the time she got Chase stuffed into the backseat she'd become way too acquainted with parts of Chase she never wanted to think about again and he'd passed out again.

"Chase? Chase!" Nico smacked him on the cheek again.

"Unghh" Chase grunted.

"You can't go to sleep."

Chase moaned again, but seemed to be trying to keep his eyes open. Nico hurried around to the Driver's side and sat down in the seat, her ribs screaming as her body decided that now would be a great time to remember that it was injured. She sat for a moment, trying to breathe through the worst of the pain before pushing it to the back of her mind and starting the car. She looked into the backseat one last time to see Chase's eyes starting to slip shut again.

"Hey!" She reached back and poked his stomach. There was no give, seriously, was this kid actually a demigod? "You can't-"

Nico was cut off as Chase vomited onto the floormats.

Right, bruised ribs. Nico cringed and rolled down the window to help with the smell.

"You can't go to sleep." Nico explained, peeling out of the driveway. "If you go to sleep, you'll go into a coma and if you go into a coma, Gert will kill me, actually, she might just let Old Lace eat me."

"No sleeping. Got it." Chase groaned, trying to ignore the pain in his ribs and the nausea from the sudden movement. He adjusted the rag on the back of his head, trying not to worry over the fact that it already felt soaked with blood.

The rest of the ride was quiet besides Nico yelling for Chase to stay awake every few minutes and Chase assuring her that he wasn't falling asleep.

The hostel was dark when they got back, but that was normal, Nico told herself in an effort to convince herself everything was fine. Nothing was fine. Nothing had been fine in so long.

"Chase!" Nico said, a little louder than probably required.

"I'm up! I'm up!" Chase muttered weakly, sounding wholly unconvincing.

"We're here." Nico said turning on the overhead lights, but she didn't like what she saw. Chase was scary pale and the seat cushion under his head was brown with blood.

"I'm gonna go get help. Don't die until I get back." Nico opened the car door.

"As opposed to after you get back?" Chase huffed a laugh.

"Fuck off, Stein." Nico rolled her eyes.

Nico's ribs burned with every movement, all of her adrenaline having long since left her body. She felt as if she might pass out herself by the time she got to the door of the hostile. She opened it and saw lights on down the hallways.

"Kar-" Nico started, but cut off in a coughing fit. However, it seemed her girlfriend had super hearing and the next thing Nico knew, Karolina was standing next to her, a worry line between her eyebrows and asking her what happened.

"They were waiting for us. Maybe they knew we were coming. Maybe they got lucky. I'll be fine. Chase-"

"Chase? What about Chase?" Gert asked, materializing out of nowhere.

"Concussion, maybe a few bruised ribs. I couldn't get him inside by myself." Nico huffed, leaning into Carolina's arms.

"Molly! I need your help!"

"Did he Chase get what he-" Alex started, rubbing his eyes and putting on his glasses, but stuttered to a stop when he saw Nico. "Damn, what happened."

"PRIDE was waiting for them." Karolina answered helpfully, trying to lead Nico, who looked like she'd pass out any second, into their bedroom.

"Ugh! Our parents are such jerks!" Molly stamped her foot. "Where's Chase?"

"In-" huff "the car." huff. Was it getting harder to breathe? "I couldn't carry-" huff "him any further." It was definitely getting harder to breathe.

"Alright, you've had enough craziness for one night." Karolina decided, steering Nico into their room and onto the bed. "Let's get you comfortable."

Nico smiled dopily and let herself be situated on the bed.

Alex watched Karolina lead Nico into their bedroom and was about to go outside to try and help Gert and Molly with Chase, but it seemed they'd beaten him to it.

Even knowing Chase could be really hurt, a small part of Alex wished he had a camera to capture the moment happening in front of him. Molly, in all her 5'3, 115 pound glory, had 6'2, 220 pound Chase Stein draped over her back like he weighed no more than her glittery pink backpack in a deadman's carry.

"Put him on the couch, Molly." Gert directed, leading Molly down the stairs and to the couch in what she assumed used to be the conservatory.

Alex fell in line behind Molly, seeing Chase in the light for the first time. Dude looked rough. Chase's face was a mess of blood and bruises and he had a pretty impressive black eye and his hands were bloody. Molly turned onto the tiled floor and that's when Alex caught sight of the cut on the back of Chase's head. He swallowed nervously.

Molly put chase on the couch facing toward the cushions so they could all get a good look at the cut on his head.

"Chase?" Gert asked softly.

"N't asl'ep" Chase mumbled.

"Good to know." Gert crossed her arms, trying to think. What were they supposed to do? They were kids, they didn't have access to medical care, not unless they wanted to be found by PRIDE.

"We need to get that bleeding under control." Alex observed.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Gert huffed.

"I'm just trying to help." Alex defended.

"Helping and making basic observations are not the same thing, Alex."

"Seriously, I just can't-"

"Hey!" Molly yelled.

St'p yellin'" Chase whined into the couch cushions.

"Sorry." Molly smiled ruefully.

"I was worried something like this might happen, so," Molly turned and walked away around the corner, her voice trailing off. When she returned, she had several Dollar Tree shopping bags in her hands. "I wanted us to be prepared." She finished, dumping the bags on the ground.

Gert and Alex looked on as roll after roll of gauze and medical tape fell out.

"When did you get to be so resourceful?" Gert asked, giving Molly a hug.

"When you find out all of the adult's you look up to are cold blooded killers, do you really have a choice?"

"True dat." Chase slurred.

Gert rolled her eyes, but was glad he was still awake.

"Alright, I think I can handle tweedle dum by myself. You guys go get some rest."

"Don't gotta tell me twice." Alex sighed, winding his way back up the stairs.

"I'm gonna check on Nico first. Night Chase. Don't die tonight, alright." Molly said cheerily before bouncing up the stairs behind Alex.

"Only because you asked so nicely, Mols." Chase tried to turn over to face Molly, forgetting that moving in general was a bad idea. Bile pushed it's way up his esophagus.

"Alright, I guess I just have to stop the-" Gert looked at Chase's ashen skin and shaky hands. "Oh, oh shit, are you gonna hurl?"

Chase nodded, tears in his eyes either from pain or trying not to vomit on himself, Gert couldn't tell.

"Oh, okay. Umm..." Gert looked around and picked up a Dollar Tree bag Molly had left discarded on the ground. "Here!" She thrust it toward Chase, helping him turn over so he wouldn't be sick all over himself, the pain almost making him black out in the process.

Chase held the bag with trembling hands and spit up bile into it. Gert tried to comfort him by rubbing his back, but she was pretty sure it just came off as awkward.

"All done?"

"Yeah. Think so." Chase answered breathlessly.

"Good, because I don't think you're going to like this next part."

Chase looked up at Gert miserably. It was heartbreaking really, and also the answer to everyone who ever asked why Chase Stein always got what he wanted.

"I'll help."

Chase huffed an affirmation, bracing himself as Gert braced his shoulders.

"On three." Chase said.

"On three." Gert agreed. "One, two" She grunted as she pulled Chase into a sitting position.

"Oh, now everything is upside down." Chase whined, squeezing his eyes shut and grabbing Gert's hand for stability.

"It's better if you're not expecting it, when it comes to an injury, that's what Coach Alfona always said."

"I didn't know you knew Coach Alfona." Chase opened his eyes slightly.

"I was being fececious." Gert smirked. "It's good to know getting hit on the head didn't give you a sense of sarcasm, then you'd truly be everyone's dream guy." Gert laughed as she rifled around on the floor to find a few packs of gauze and opened them up.

"But I'm your dream guy, right?" Chase chuckled, feeling a little loopy.

"I think you have brain damage." Gert rolled her eyes, smirking.

"Mhmm." Chase hummed.

Gert sat down beside Chase and surveyed the cut, relieved that it had mostly stopped bleeding. She put a piece of gauze on the cut and instructed Chase to hold it while she went searching for more tools. Thankfully, Molly had come through again. Gert spied a small bottle of peroxide by Chase's foot. She leaned over to grab it, feeling Chase's eyes on her.

"I can feel you staring at my ass."

"Yea-I mean no I'm not." Chase said shakily.

"You so were." Gert picked up the bottle and sat back up.

"W's not" Chase laughed.

Gert looked around again to find some medical tape and tried to dress Chase's wound as best as she could with his head lolling all over the place like a ragdoll.

"All done. Now all I have to do is wake you up every three hours to make sure you don't have swelling of the brain and go into a coma." Gert explained, putting the used gauze and supplies into a, non-soiled, Dollar Tree bag.

There was no answer. Gert looked over to chide Chase for falling asleep again, but something was wrong.

Chase was now leaned back against the couch with his eyes closed and Gert could see that his hands were shaking.

"Chase?" Gert asked, poking him gently in the ribs.

"Hmm?" He hummed without opening his eyes. That was not the response someone with possible fractured ribs should give when poked in said fractured ribs.

"You good?"

"Co-cold."

Gert bit the inside of her cheek as she looked Chase over. He was still pale, but now he was sweating and shivering at the same time and- Gert paused to put two fingers to the inside of his wrist like WikiHow had shown her- his pulse was really fast, but barely there.

"Okay, so I think the gross, bleeding head wound just became the least of our problems."

"Wha's wr'ng?"

"I think you're going into shock."

"Tha's not g'd."

Gert laughed nervously. That was the understatement of the year. She tried to remember what she'd read about people going into shock. Step one: assess. Already done. Step two: get them lying flat. Gert gently pulled Chase's shoulders down to the couch cushions, trying to be careful of his head. Chase didn't show any signs of being more alert; he did whimper a little, which was better than nothing, Gert decided.

Step three: keep them warm. Gert looked around for a blanket, but she knew they were all up in the bedrooms. Making her choice, Gert sprinted up the stairs to her room, grabbed as many blankets as she could, and sprinted back down, hoping Chase hadn't started having seizures or something. Was that even possible? Gert didn't know and she definitely didn't want to find out.

Gert rounded the corner and was relieved to see that Chase hadn't died in the minute she'd been gone. However, he was still pale and shaky and just looked all together as bad as someone going into shock could.

"Chase?"

"Hunh?"

"I need you to talk to me. Stay awake."

"What're we talkin 'bout?"

"I don't know, you're dad?" Gert shrugged, spreading blankets over Chase's form. It took her brain about a millisecond longer than it should have to realize what she'd said. "Oh shit, Chase I didn't mean- we don't-" Gert mentally kicked herself.

"S'okay. He w's th're tonight. Hurt me. Hurt me real good." Chase giggled and something about it made the hairs on Gert's arms stand up straight.

"Use'ta say he w's makin me'a man. But th's-th'ts not wh't a m'n sh'd be." Chase took a stuttering breath and opened his eyes, Gert watched with wide, tear filled eyes, feeling like she was glued to the spot.

"Usta think th'ts what parens' did. Hurt their kids to m'ke 'em better." Chase finished, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Gert quickly wiped her face of tears and finished placing what was probably the fourth blanket on top of Chase and sat down beside him.

"I, um, I didn't know." She sniffed, wiping at the tears that still refused to stop.

"Nev-never told an'one. Din't th'nk it mattered." Chase cried softly.

Before she realized what she was doing, Gert reached up and wiped a tear away that had been trailing it's way down Chase's cheek. She was relieved to see that he was starting to get just a little color back.

They were both quiet for a long time.

"How do you feel?" Gert asked, breaking the silence.

"Better. Not so wooh." Chase made a wave motion with his hand.

"Good. I think it's probably safe for you to go to sleep. I'll stay down here and set an alarm to wake you up every few hours to check that you're not, you know, dead."

"Tha's appreciated. Don' like bein' dead." Chase slurred sleepily.

"I'll take the other couch." Gert supplied. She watched as something unreadable crossed Chase's face, uncertainty? Whatever it was, he seemed to wave it away.

Gert stood up and let the blood rush back into her legs from where she'd been curled up on the ground. She grabbed a blanket and started to walk toward the couch opposite Chase when something stopped her. She looked back, it was Chase's hand on her wrist.

"Gert?"

"Yeah?"

"Stay. Please."

"I am. I'm sleeping on the other couch. Do you not remember that conversation? memory loss is a common side effect of con-" She rambled, wondering if they should have gone to the hospital.

"No, I remember. Just, stay here. Right here. With me." That look crossed Chase's gaze again, uncertainty.

"Yeah?" Gert asked.

"Yeah."

"This is a really small couch." Gert observed.

Chase just shrugged and moved as far over as possible, trying to move his head and torso as little as possible.

Gert watched Chase's pained expression as he moved, his face going alarmingly pale once again.

"I think I might have a better idea." Gert decided.

And that's how Molly and Old Lace ended up carrying Gert's mattress down into the conservatory.

Gert and Molly helped Chase get comfortable-- a relative term, really. Gert settled in beside Chase, who was already asleep, overly aware that it had been weeks since they'd been close like this. Her mind whirred with so many questions, but she pushed them all to the back of her mind. The adrenalin of the night and the heart-to-heart with Chase had sufficiently wiped her emotional battery. Whatever these feelings were, they were a problem for morning Gert, or, Gert thought as she fell asleep, slipping her hand into Chase's, maybe these feelings weren't problems at all.

#prompt fill #prompt: concussion #fandom: Marvel #fandom: marvel's runaways #chase stein

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stephydee89 · 8 years ago

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That moment when you find a one-shot fanfic you wrote from 10 years ago that’s generic enough to be used for any fandom. O_O

Okies, so this is coming out of left field, but back in 2007ish I was a total fangirl for My Chemical Romance (still am and always will be thankooo lol). Back then, I had written some fanfic for them (that I never got to finish, some of it is still floating around mibba.com if you dig around enough lol)

Anyways, this fanfic I had found in my old stash of printed-on-physical-paper-gems was intended for Frank Iero, but I noticed that I never actually described Frankie specifically or said his name in the fic. Therefore, I realized that this could work for whichever fandom you wanted essentially. Want it to be about Dean from Supernatural? Done. Keith from Voltron? Got it. Seven from Mystic Messenger? Sure thing! It’ll all work! ^_^

So, with 2007-era Stephy writing, I present the one-shot “Eyes”. It’s a feels trip, so be ready.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Eyes”

You felt the pain in your eyes...you know, the kind of pain that's also warm and makes your eyes feel puffy. Well, you'd guess that's to be expected. You had been crying all night.

You just sat there, taking in everything that had happened right before your eyes. My eyes...

______________________________________________________________

"You have no clue how much I'm gonna miss you..." he had said to you. He stroked your cheek and simply gazed. Nothing much...just gazed for what seemed like an eternity. It wasn't long enough though...you wanted it to be that way for forever and a day.

Your sweetheart was here with you...the one you have loved ever since that night two years ago, when he had given you that fatal look...with his eyes...his innocent, caring eyes. They were looking into yours...My eyes...

Your throat was closing in sorrow, and you knew exactly why. You tried to sigh, but it only aided the closure of your air passage. You bit your lip and tried to stop, but it was so hard...so unbelievably difficult to do. You wouldn't be able to do it for long.

You looked down to try and avoid any more heartache, but it didn't help much. You knew that as soon as you looked up, it would come straight back. The pain was waiting for you in an inevitable glance, and the pressure you felt when looking away was immense. You whined in agony and wanted to cry, but no...crying only made things miserable for him...for both of you.

He seemed to notice your struggle, and he held your face with both of his gentle hands. Gentle, but strong at the same time...it was a wonderful and peaceful balance, you thought. He smiled sadly and petted your temples with his thumbs, still gazing.

"You certainly know how to make me break down..." he said in defeat, laughing and starting to tear up as he said this. The way he choked on his words was pathetic, and it was so depressing that you felt as though you had caused him harm. He just continued to stare at you, and then he gazed a new gaze. It was sorrowful...it was making you want to cry even more, which was the last thing you wanted to do at that precise moment. You needed to be strong...you needed to show him that it was okay for this to happen...that you could live with yourself once this event had passed, and that you'd be perfectly fine alone.

You hated lying.

"Will you tell me when it's about time?" you had asked, so soft and quiet that you were surprised that he had actually heard you. He smiled lightly and nodded quickly, not seeming to be looking forward to it either.

You both kept gazing...your eyes in his, and his into yours...My eyes...that small, insignificant phrase kept repeating in your head, over and over again. My eyes...as if it was a clue to a mystery. You had no idea what it was doing in your head at the time, but you never paid much attention to it...there were more pressing matters at hand for the moment.

After what seemed like hours, he finally closed his eyes and sighed, finding the pain too much to bear with open eyes. He let his tears fall freely now, and small rivers took shape on both of his cheeks. He sniffled and released a sobbing sigh, as if he was about to shout out in defeat to his tears. His eyes were red and bloodshot, but they were still beautiful...still gazing...

He was still holding your face...his hands still gentle as they ever were...

Suddenly a small breeze blew through the window across the room from the two of you. It slowly reached both your faces, and even though it was diminished in its travels to just a slight blow, it was still enough to make itself known. Your eyes started feeling dry because of it, and you blinked to recover. He, however, didn't blink at all, because his eyes were shut, and he was constantly fighting back more tears. He sniffled over and over again, trying to conceal the emotion within himself. More rivers formed on his face, and it was almost too unbearable to see him suffer alone. You felt like you wanted to give up, and you were awfully close to it too, but your common sense convinced your tear ducts to shut down before they even had a chance to start.

His eyes were puffy now, there was no doubt about that. His eyelashes were bunched together, due to the overwhelming tears, and the skin below his eyes was incredibly sheer at this point. He continued to shed tears, but you only continued to watch him do so. You felt so horrible because of that...here he was suffering while you watch with no emotion whatsoever. You were disgusted with yourself, and it made it seem like you didn't care at all about him, that your feelings flew out of you and out the window, the window that was still allowing a breeze to pass by...

...but that was the furthest thing from the truth. You cared about him so much...too much for tears to show.

A small rumble of thunder in the distance suggested a storm was coming...a typical sign of bad news. You were half tempted to look outside and see what it looked like, but you already knew. Your typical thunderstorm sky...the dark blue clouds that overlapped each other, the eerie glow that came from them, the occasional tree that still received sunlight which contrasted to the clouds remarkably, the noticeable change of wind that followed such conditions. It was typical...it was something you'd see a million times more in your life.

This, however, was a one-shot deal...there was no way in hell you were going to miss this.

The wind picked up outside, and suddenly a few leaves from a nearby tree blew in through the window, landing all over the place. One was on the dresser, another on the floor, and one more on top of the TV. There was one that you noticed had landed right in the middle of his lap. You both noticed it at the same time, proceeded to pick it up at the same time, even smiled at the exact same time from how cliche it was.

It was shaped like a heart.

You both thought it was adorable, albeit quite cheesy of a thing to happen, and you both wanted to have it, so he sighed, starting to led up on the tears slightly.

"What if we split it? Simple enough..." he suggested. You nodded and took the leaf to split it, but just as you were about to, you stopped at the position you were in. You were about to split the leaf down the middle, and deep down you knew that was a bad thing to do. You ripped it horizontally instead, which confused him completely. "Why did you do that?" he asked curiously. You sighed and looked at the two pieces of the leaf you had just ripped.

"Think about it...splitting a heart down the middle is the universal sign of a heart broken. I believe that a heart split horizontally is the sign of a heart shared...shared by two people deeply in love." you explained, handing him his half. Your hand grazed his palm as you did so, and it sent chills all throughout your body. It felt exactly like the first time that had ever happened, and back then it was so incredible that you were certain that you were in heaven. That feeling never changed, even after all this time. He looked up to your face again, aware of his touch, and his eyes...My eyes...they connected once again. This time there was no staring contest...no tears...no sadness in the air whatsoever.

Just love, which was all that mattered...

He slowly leaned forward and put his hand behind your head, smiling gently and lovingly at you while doing so. You giggled in return and let him guide your lips to his, and the love was there...more than ever...your lips touched, and immediately those tingles all throughout your body returned, just like before. The kiss was ever so sweet, and it was honest. Love didn't need to be proven by complete make-out sessions...this was enough for the both of you.

Eventually he pulled away and started to hint at some tears once again, but this time it was more like sobbing. He didn't fight the urge anymore, and it felt somewhat nice to see his true emotion come about. He rested his forehead on yours, and he sniffled loudly, not wanting to fight anymore. He kissed your forehead and then continued resting his on yours. Even after a few moments, he couldn't stop his crying...and over time it started to scare you.

"I love you...so much..." he whispered in-between sobs, and then you suddenly felt something give. Your mind had realized...

That was the trigger for your tears...and it didn't take long for them to start.

"I love you, too...more than you'll ever know..." you tried to shout back, but it ended up as only a slight whisper. You both embraced each other in a hug, one that was more heartfelt than any other one that you had ever experienced. Your hands held onto his hair, tugging gently and ruffling it in despair. Your tears were already dripping off your chin and onto his red shirt, but it didn't matter...he didn't care...as you held each other in that very moment, you had realized something else. Something about his sudden sobs, his words and his actions...

It was about time...

The instant you realized this, you started sobbing even harder, knowing what was coming. He pulled you away to look into your face, his eyes now starting to become gentler than ever.

"So, tell me...what do you like most about me?" he asked softly, and you chuckled in tears at the memory he triggered in your brain. You closed your eyes and remembered the night you first met each other. You were at the park, and you both were having fun scaring pigeons loitering by the water fountain. You were sitting on the edge of the fountain, talking for the longest while about why there were pigeons out at night in the first place, and how incredibly dull their lives must've been, among many other topics of discussion. When you had run out of things to talk about, he looked at you, and the lights around the both of you casted a mystical glow around him, as if he was a star in the night sky. He was shining brightly. He smiled and looked down, but then looked up again only a moment later.

"So, tell me...what do you like most about me?" he asked that night, staring at you affectionately. You blushed and looked at him, knowing the answer to that question as soon as he had asked it.

"Your eyes..." you said with a smile. He leaned back, as if he was genuinely surprised by your answer.

"Well, what do you know? That's the EXACT thing I love about you..." he confessed. You gave him an astonished look, trying to keep from fainting due to the sudden joy that filled you.

"My eyes?"

"Yes, your eyes..." he said calmly. You sat there for a moment, taking it all in. You finally looked up to the sky, admiring the stars nestled snug up in the air, which caused him to do the same.

"My eyes..." you whispered, and when you looked back down, he was inches from your face. Surprisingly, you never even flinched. You both leaned in and had your very first kiss right then and there. It was so perfect, and you were so happy...

You opened your eyes from the flashback and answered his question. "Your eyes...just like the last time you asked me." you added, and he chuckled slightly. He sighed.

"Your eyes..."

"My eyes?" you joked. He smiled wide.

"Yes...your eyes..." he whispered once more, and you knew it was your cue for the final line in your memory.

"My eyes..." you whispered, and as you said the words, it occurred to you why that phrase echoed in your head all this time. You never knew or realized until now. It all made sense, but then again it didn't, yet you never really much cared how much sense it made. What counted was that you were alright with it, and you were. You leaned in to kiss him again, and he leaned back, deciding for you to do all the work. You smiled at this arrangement and kissed him tenderly for a bit, until something was different. He seemed to pull away, but not really. It was as if he had given up mid-kiss, and it was the strangest thing for you at first, until it hit you what had happened. You sat back into the chair you were sitting in and looked at him.

His eyes were shut, and he was still.

His time had come...he was gone.

......and you've cried here all night about it. You continue to feel the pain in your eyes...

...my eyes.

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syubub · 4 years ago

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Hoseok soulmate reading

Let's get the disclaimer out of the way: This is for entertainment purposes only and shouldn't be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards.

Oki. Before we begin I must say... I put this off as long as possible. For those of you who have followed me for a while, you know that hobi is THE HARDEST to connect with and tbh this was no different. I'll probably revisit this reading again at a different time (you'll see why)

So. To start things off... Hope has some.. strange(?) energy. His energy was really vague and weak. The color too is intresting because its 100% not a color I've ever seen and I'm not sure if something is afflicting the color of his energy? Its ruby red but also deep grey blue? Its really strange and honestly pretty but it doesn't feel like the normal color? The color is usually a nice red with some deeper hints but...Its usually a bit more... lively? It just feels dull right now.

It looks like this right now but with a little more red? Its really peculiar.

Now. Idk maybe some shit is going on with him right now? Or maybe bc there was a fuckin lunar eclipse in Gemini last night? Idk but the energy was a little.. hostile. That's not a bad thing but it kinda felt like he was being broody? Its all really strange but he was not very into the reading (more so than usual) blah blah he didn't want to talk and I asked some questions I probably shouldn't have and some stuff happened. Long story short his soulmate(?) Showed up and pushed our foreheads together so we'd have to connect.

I asked his soulmate if they could tell me what the fuck was going on and they said that they don't know him well. Idk if that means that they don't know him well on a soul level? I'll get into this more later but this feels like something that's already been concluded or comes back up from time to time.

"He's pretty closed off huh?" Yes soulmate. He is.

I asked for more info about them and they said May. I was like cool, is that your name or? "Nah" sick is that like you're birthday? "Not really" cool cool cool.

They did say that he deserves better than what he has. I'm gonna leave it at that but hobi is possibly going through some shit.

Now we can get onto the reading part. I do want to say though, this reading felt very disconnected and weird? Just like somethings off and I have a feeling that this soulmate is more of the "life lesson" type soulmate?

Oki. We have temperance, chariot, two of cups, queen of coins. This is a person who is definitely motivated and driven and 100% a business savy human. They are also very likely loyal and know how to balance work and play time very very well. Is well-off (or materialistic) lol. There's a very ride or die energy that tells me this person is the type of friend that will do anything for you but when you do stupid shit then you get a stern talking to. Idk why but it also feels lonely? Like they're on their own journey to find themselves and their path/happiness/self and if it doesn't fit in the wagon then it gets left behind. This person might move too fast and miss out on important things because they're always chasing after something. They take "its not the destination that matters but the journey that does" to a whole new level and they just never stop to enjoy the scenery bc they'd rather get the rush of newness.

As for their relationship. As I said before I think this soulmate specifically is the "life lesson" type and could definitelybe a platonicsoulmate too. The kind that provides you with an opportunity for growth. With the 5 of swords rev. I kinda think that this could be someone from either a past life or back in a less favorable time. The fool card to me makes me thin that this relationship provides a sense of being born again? Its that newness of having a new perspective and a whole new understanding of self. With the magician rev. Its about issues with communication i.e not being able to get across your needs and desires for both of them and a lack of energy to figure it out. I also feel like this was just something that they didn't fix and didn't want to fix. (I'm talking in past tense bc this reading feels like its someone from the past) This card also talks about deception. I'm not gonna go into this much. With the 3 of wands though!! Yay! This talks about progress and I feel like this points to them learning more and more about who they are and what they truly want. They're kinda like lines that were moving towards eachother, intersected and then continued going in their own direction. Its like this time together was formative in who they are as people and what they dream of! And with the father of cups it does seem that over all the relationship was/is (I don't know how to talk about this) relatively balanced and they had/have respect for eachother. This card specifically is about balanced emotions and emotional intelligence and I think that this is what they gain from this relationship.

Moving right along we have the oracle cards! Stand by you commitment, financial healing, unconventionality, socialize or join in and sensitive emotions. The flower cards are from hobi to soulmate and the others are from soulmate to hope. Now. Maybe his soulmate went through a failed business venture that they're recovering from or just general money trouble bc the whole world is being fucked over by a virus. Either way hobi is very strong in the message of commitment (that makes me think that its specifically about business or something they started but never finished) onto cards for Hope. He might kinda be going through the shitty times and his soulmates advice is to not isolate and celebrate himself more. He might be having some issues related to self image or a soul-identity crisis? Idk but hobi needs that good good self care and love.

Now the two unicorn cards. Those are also from his soulmate to hope about some personal shit and I will be leaving that out because its not my fucking business. (Hobi is fine don't worry)

Woo wee lets get on to traits! First for zodiac sign. Earth, fire, air. Possible Libra and Taurus placements.

Tiny cards. Light hair, dark hair, sweet, extrovert, hard working, tall, business oriented, loud, fate, sorry, open, faith, happy, wait.

First off I get brown hair vibes (maybe medium brown?)

The word cards sound like his soulmate trying to give him a pep talk so I pulled an affirmation card that says in stillness I receive. I think hobi is going through some soul stuff and I'm not sure if this specificly translates into his life right now (though I think it does and he's repressing it or hopefully he's sorting it out on his own privately)

Oki oki oki. Idk why but it also might be that hobi is doing work to heal his inner child? I honestly don't know whats going on or if its affecting him in his day to day life at this time but I want to come back and do this reading at a time that he might be in a better energy space?

Hobi is ALWAYS hard to read and its even harder when he's less open than usual.

I'll get another soulmate read from hobi at some point and see if I can catch a "future/current romantic soulmate"

I am confused 😕

Also!! I have a Ko-fi now! I'll drop the link here but its in my bio! Absolutely no pressure but its there for people who want to tip me and were looking for a way to support me! (Also, I'm not taking readings through ko-fi so please don't drop money and request a reading there.)

Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/syubub

#bts tarot #bts imagines #bts reactions #bts #jin #suga #yoongi #kim seokjin #jhope #hoseok #jung hoseok #hobi #namjoon #jimin #taehyung #jungkook

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