#its been a while since ive read whipping girl

[forivall]

DMs with a terf. My existence shatters their hyper reductive version of the world, oppression, sex, gender, patriarchy, etc. If a single terf had the capacity to read whipping girl in good faith, well, then I could actually have a deep conversation with a terf. But they can't! Sad.

[mickgaydolenz]

so, i was reading 17° Aquarius which is what Micky's Mars is in and it was... interesting. i mean it's main theme is egotism and being dependent on others for stimulation; corruption and selfishness at its very worse. there's some merit to this but i only say that confidently because his Mars is in his 12H.

while the 4H represents the hidden life, and 8H represents the hidden mind, the 12H represents just being hidden in general; whether its abilities, emotions, opinions, the past, whatever is placed there. it's only accessed/activated -- other than for a profection year -- either willingly, or being forced to tap into it. especially so if there's aspects to it. it's also the last house which often represents endings and closure, answers given, and healing from old wounds.

majority of the time people will either totally ignore whatever's in this house or they'll escape into it to avoid reality. sure, you can ignore or run to your 12H placements for as long as you want, but they will always come back to bite you in the ass. everyone like's to throw karma around here, but that word has become so overused that it overtime lost it's original meaning, to which i cannot even define, as it's been bastardized to fit the white person's spiritual lexicon (thank you colonialism very cool /s). soooo a better way of describing this house is a house of personal retribution.

the reason im bringing this up is not to talk so much about Micky's 12H, since it's only his Mars there ...so sorry worldwide Micky girls nation <\3. although i will say, when i read "susceptibility to physically illness if frustrations grow intense" i got worried, so my eyes are closer than ever on that old man. watching him like a hawk as we speak.

i'm bringing this up because i've mentioned before about Mike's 12H and how that might've came into play when he had that "i got it" moment in his life. we actually have some telling placements here. he has three: his South Node, and asteroids Vesta and Pallas.

im actually not gonna talk about his asteroids because it's not why i'm here in your inbox. why i'm here is to discuss his South Node. this is extremely important, Mike girls. you should take notes. its gonna get melancholic.

in astrology, we have these things called Moon Nodes. you have a North and a South Node, and they will always be opposing each other in opposing signs, because they're supposed to; the North Node represents the present life, the quest, growth, while South Node represents the past life, the resource, our blockages. do you see where this is going?

i could explain the Nodes themselves, as it does give way to fully realizing their curriculum in his chart, but ive honestly hadn't gotten around to fully understanding them just yet because i'm still stuck on degree theory. i'm only sharing what i know and what i'm currently reading on them so that i can explain this correctly. you can read here and here if you sincerely need to know the details. all you have to know for this is that his NN is in Leo 6H and his SN in Aquarius 12H. i've already explained the 12H, but the 6H deals with daily living, organization, service and health. now you are bueno *whip crack effect* 👍

tw death mention coming up here//

i've been quietly busy piecing things together to see what important placements were there in-around the times of death for the three. mistakenly, at first, i would focus heavily on their profection year they died and the aspects to it, without even considering the years before that would lead up to that. those prior years do in fact play a role here. what i've found is that there's no one important placement, aspect or degree that can encompass a death-like sentence to someone's astro makeup. while astrology cannot predict when or even how someone will die, what we can do is posthumously see what important factors lead to their passing.

in Mike's case, he passed in his 7H profection year; the year before, he was in his 6H; to note, he actually has a stellium here, which are all entirely retrograded, but that's not important to this. and guess what was there? because this was the year of 2020, when everyone was isolated and recollecting themselves; this was his Node's last attempts to sober him up before it all ended, and it had to do so by sheer force.

you know what happened next? he stopped hiding.

even after Davy had passed and he gave in to touring with his surviving band members, he still seemed to isolate himself after the show was over. barely showing for interviews with the others. didn't spill himself too much that wasn't about what was going on around him. he kept to himself as always and no one tried too hard to pry him. the usual Michael Nesmith routine.

but after Peter had passed, i think something just snapped in him. for some reason i feel like he found himself more comfortable being vulnerable after Peter was gone... really strange stuff. almost like he was afraid of being or feeling similar to him? ffs i wish he was still alive so i could ask him cause it's gonna kill me otherwise.

but now, amidst the chaos of 2020, instead of running away into comfort and escaping from being vulnerable, he brought those vulnerabilities out instead, especially so on stage. if i had to guess anything about Mike during this time, is that he just wanted to heal. he so badly wanted to mend things even after things were too late & far gone, which i would also include his physical health here too, as 6H rules physical health -- Micky did say he had health issues for a long while. but his struggles trying to communicate that among other things made it a too-little-too-late issue (uh-oh girls, it's his Saturn Rx 3H eating him alive!).

but what he could mend at that moment, he did, and what he was able to mend was his relationship to his audience. remember when we talked about this before with Peter? sighs. Mike went YOINK and took those lessons without directly discussing him, whether he knew it or not. he is sooooo irritating ❤

i'll end this off by sharing this: in one of my sources i have that actually talks about the Nodes, there's a section where the author explains the Nodes through the lens of different religious and cultural mythologies. of course, since we're talking about Mike, the Christian version stood out to me most for this case, which brings in the story of Adam & Eve. at first i passed it off cause it's only a short paragraph in a sea of much more lengthier mythologies, but the more i read it the more enlightening it became to me.

here's the direct quote:

"Eve draws Adam into the world of duality, relationship and further incarnation, by listening to the serpent. Later, Eve having given birth to Mary, God enters mankind through her, thus bringing the Christ out of Adam. Here I would understand Eve and Mary to be representing two different facets of the cosmic feminine principle. So by listening to the serpent, we move further into duality and the world of form, and by listening to God, we are reconnected with unity."

and in the end, Mike finally listened to God. properly. for once in his life.

.

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

Headcanon accepted and elaborated-

Goon rushing into meeting with all of the major Rouges: Boss bad news, we gotta cancel the plans tonight

Penguin: Oh ho ho? And why on earth would we?

Goon: Sir- Batman 's injured- so neither him or lil Robin are comin out

Riddler: Red Robin then? Oh boo- he always solves my riddles far too fast, guess ill need some adjustments. Doctor Crane might I borrow some gas?

Scarecrow: Fuck no- I got pistol whipped by Hood the last time I let you borrow my shit. Don't tell me Hood is joining these fucks?

Goon: No- no both were spotted with their teams away from Gotham

Ivy: Is it the girls then? My My its been a while since ive gone against Spoiler, she is a lovely combatant though~

Two Face: No last I heard the clown broke er arm, so itta just be the creepy mute.

Harley: Dont call her that! And she does talk, justa not on patrol. But shes in Shanghi last I overheard from Batsy

Penguin: Then who the fuck is patrolin? Nightwing?

Two Face: Him and the whole PJ squad is off world last I heard

Ivy: You seem to hear alot and say too much

Two Face: Oh clam it-

Penguin: ENOUGH- now {goon} whose patroling?

Goon: Singal, sir.

Penguin:

Penguin: ...Signal?

Goon: Yes sir- he was spotted on da narrows bought a half hour ago .... Penguin: Im good for rescheduling if you all are Riddler: Oh yup yup fine with me Two face: No complaints here Ivy: Im leaving before he shows up and insults my thesis again Scarecrow: Oh fuck oh fuck has he read them??? Harley : Do ya think if we show up at Arkham theyll book us for tha night?

Arkham does accept them, and Duke shows up to menicingly stare from outside the gates and smile while he waves them all into booking. At least now he can go to sleep at a reasonable hour.

whenever duke gets put on the night shift he becomes so cranky and mean because WHY DO YOU GUYS STAY UP SO LATE and the only reasons why he would stay up later than usual would be for a case

gotham rouges know not to irritate signal when he comes to fight them at night because he will either kick your ass with rage or use that same anger to destroy you with words

[demadogs]

Different anon but yeah I think the ILY monologue would make it hard for the GA to accept byler in s5. What do you think they'd have to do in s5 to make it clear to ALL viewers that mike not being in love with el (anymore) and instead having fallen for will, ideally a while ago, makes sense? How would that go?

i think the best way to make it clear that this was a planned thing and not just a new romance they whipped out of nowhere in the last season would be to show a lot of flashbacks. this show does a lot of flashbacks to scenes in previous seasons. they do it all the time and i love it when they do so i can easily see them doing this.

i imagine it happening in a scenario where mike cant really hide his feelings anymore. ive had this vision in my head for a while and i was hoping itd happen this season but i think hes gonna have a moment where all his repressed feelings just start to overflow and he cant keep it down anymore and he starts to panic. just the fact that he did tell el he loves her shows just how deeply repressed he really is. i think hes long overdue for a moment where he just lets it out paralleling to will destroying the castle. this would be when they show loads of flashbacks to show the audience what hes thinking about. it would show the audience what hes been dealing with and that these feelings had always been there.

i’ve really thought about this… i imagine flashbacks of these moments in this order in between shots of him in the moment starting to panic, just like will in castle byers (also for some reason i imagine mike having this moment alone in a bathroom with the door locked):

“i guess we’ll go crazy together right?” “yeah-” (dialogue continues over clip of him holding wills hand) “crazy together”, scene of mike not letting el touch him when they were making out, “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls”, el crying reading him the letters “from mike, from mike, from mike from”, mike saying he loved el the moment he saw her but its immediately followed by s1 mike telling lucas and dustin the plan to get rid of her so they can go back in the woods and find will, cute moments of just will: him in the ghostbusters outfit smiling, him in the will the wise gown excited to play dnd, him singing never ending story. and then lastly, “it was the best thing ive ever done”.

god i see this scene in my head SO clearly and i have for a while. since it didnt happen in s4 though, i imagine if it happens in s5 the thing that could trigger this is seeing will in so much danger again. only this time as opposed to s2, he’s well aware of his feelings and cant avoid them. and he’s also terrified of losing will without ever telling him how he feels.

i COULD make this… all of these are just flashbacks except i envision it with shots of mike crying in between….. might do that.

[pascalpanic]

Caffeine Rush: Chapter Seven / Decaf

W/C: 4k

Warnings: language, dirty thoughts, all of the dirty thoughts because Javi is a horndog, male masturbation... general spice. pining that could make a pine cone tremble.

A/N: welcome to pining central, enjoy your stay :) (ps when Steve says “Javier Peña” I need you to read that in the voice of Anthony Mackie going “SEBASTIAN STAN”)

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ordinary coffee that has had most of its caffeine removed from it before the beans are roasted.

You are a goddamn test on Javier’s self control. He feels like those biblical stories of men fighting back against temptation to prove themselves to God, except the only thing he has to prove is to himself. To you.

He’s always been enraptured by you, captivated by your smile and laugh but since you went ice skating, he hasn’t been able to get your body out of his mind. The way you fell asleep on him last night, nuzzled in like it was the safest place on earth. He could feel your breasts press into his skin, the warmth of your thigh hiked across his abdomen. If the past week has been some caffeine-induced fever dream, it’s becoming real now. You, a figment of his imagination before, maybe, are all flesh and blood and God, is he desperate for it.

Javier hangs around your apartment when you’re gone at work. He doesn’t have much else to do, considering you’re gone and he knows hardly anything about the city. He watches the daytime television on your couch, usually meanders to the coffee shop for a drink, spends some time there, and returns to the apartment.

He feels like he’s couch-surfing, like he did for a summer in his college years. He feels guilty occupying the space in your home, especially without payment. As he walks to the bathroom, he takes a long glance into your bedroom. The queen-sized bed is mussed, unmade before you left for work. The fitted sheet is pooled in the middle beneath where you sleep, the various blankets tossed about. It looks like the coziest damn thing he’s ever seen, especially after a couple of nights on a couch.

Javier almost thinks about giving in, waiting for you to ask him to sleep in your bed tonight then jumping at the chance. Maybe he will, if he’s tired enough. Maybe he won’t, but maybe he will. He can think of nothing better than the endless whir of the radiator as your perpetually-cold body nuzzles against him, brushes your nose against his bare chest.

It’s been a long time since Javi has fucked anyone, and he’s starting to feel it. He’s a little antsy, and the image of your body, your ass as you ice skate past him, haunts him like a bad dream- or rather some illicit fantasy he knows he shouldn’t be having.

Would you want him yet? You’ve told him you love him, but that was an accident. When he kisses you, you kiss back harder. Hell, you initiated the first kiss. You seem like you’ve been all-in on this relationship, taking things at a rushed pace that Javier certainly doesn’t mind. He spends a lot of the day contemplating that, standing on the tiny balcony of your apartment and smoking a couple of cigarettes.

At this point, he needs a distraction or he’s going to have to take matters into his own hands, quite literally. What better to kill the horny buzz making his head spin than to call Murphy?

The phone is in your bedroom, on the nightstand. Javier dares to sit on the edge of your bed, and actually moans aloud at the plush comfort, the way his ass sinks into it. Goddamn, he’ll have to get one of these. He wants nothing more than to lay back and fall into the bed, wait for you to get home and pound you into the comfortable mattress. But he doesn’t. He stays strong and picks up the phone, dialing the new Murphy residence in Miami.

After a couple of rings, a familiar voice answers. “Murphy’s.”

“Hey, bastard,” Javier chuckles, and he can hear the blonde man’s laughter from across the receiver.

“Javier Peña,” Steve drawls, dragging out the name. “Good to hear your voice, man. You finally come out of a ten-day celebratory drunkenness?”

“Don’t talk to me about binges,” Javier teases, but he smiles a little. He’s missed the man. He’s glad neither of them got in any trouble over the entire Los Pepes situation- God, that feels like ages ago now. It’s hard to believe he’s only been in D.C. what, eleven days? If Steve’s math is right, yeah. “No. I’m in D.C. still, if you can believe it. Just… bored.”

“Oh really?” the man scoffs, leaning against his kitchen counter in Miami with Olivia on his hip. “And why’s that? What are you still doin’ up there anyway? Thought you were goin’ to visit the old man.”

Javier shakes his head. “Plans changed. There’s, uh… there’s a girl.”

Steve lets out a wolf whistle, laughing. “And how much does she charge a night?”

“Not one of those. She works at a coffee shop around here,” he informs him. “She’s… she’s really something. Nothing I ever thought I’d be into. She’s gorgeous, man, and so energetic all the damn time. Seems like she has an IV of coffee from her shop,” he chuckles, looking off into space. He takes a pause. Steve doesn’t speak. “I wanna be with her Steve. I don’t… I don’t know if I can go back.”

He’s silent a little longer. “This is some kind of practical joke, right?” Steve says after a beat, barely holding back a laugh. Never has Javier been so sincere, so real and honest and open. And more specifically, he’s never been like this over a girl. Almost… mushy. Soft. “Tell me more,” he says, hoping the joke will give up.

Javier talks about you, describing every little detail with a grin on his face. He tells Steve about Tie Guy and ice skating and your piece of shit car, how you can spin in circles on the ice and how you remind him of a busy little bee, fluttering about the coffee shop.

Steve is genuinely rendered speechless; a hard thing to do. He blinks down at Olivia then straight ahead at the refrigerator, covered in photos and magnets and drawings. He can’t imagine Javier ever wanting something like this, like what he and Connie have, but he sure sounds like it. “That’s… something. Good for you, Javi,” Steve chuckles, resigning to sincerity. “I’m happy for you.”

Javier grumbles back. “Don’t get too happy. I have to go back to Calí in three weeks. She doesn’t want me to leave… I don’t know what to do, Murph. I can’t bring her with, you know that, but I can’t just leave her here. And I sure as hell can’t quit.”

“You could quit.”

“I’m not going to, how’s that?” Javier huffs and crosses his arms, annoyed by Steve and his goddamn wording loopholes. “I just… fuck. I’m gonna go think about it before she gets back.”

“She comin’ to your hotel? You sure you aren’t paying per night?” He smirks.

Javier’s quiet and Steve isn’t sure what it means until he talks. “I’m, uh, staying at her place. She insisted.”

Steve whistles again. “Damn. You’re whipped, Peña. Well, I’ll let you go. Call again soon. I miss ya, bud,” he tells Javier in a moment of earnesty then hangs the phone back on the receiver, bringing Olivia to her nursery to change her diaper.

Javi sighs and falls backwards on the bed, admiring the way the mattress holds his body compared to the couch. Yeah, he’ll definitely need to sleep in here tonight or he’s going to crack his spine.

The issue will be you. He could handle it on the couch; it was like a soft, adolescent form of love, innocent and warm. Of course, it could still be the same in your bed. But would it? Is there not a different set of implications that come with the two of you sharing a bed?

Snuggling with you on the couch was nice. Wonderful, perfect even. Javier loves falling asleep with you in his arms. But in your bed, arms curled around him, maybe even being his little spoon… that perfect body pressed flush to his own, your soft ass against his groin, your breathing pushing back into his chest… that would be an entirely different thing. And he wants it, he really does, but he isn’t sure he’ll be able to control himself.

He slept like shit the last night, to be honest. You on top of him prevented him from moving, and Javier is an active sleeper. His neck was at an odd angle and his back twisted. His body feels like it did after that fight with Tie Guy. He can’t- wouldn’t- invade your privacy of your bed without you home to give him the go ahead, but he’s so damn tired. Not even the coffee helps.

So Javier indulges in one of life’s little pleasures he rarely gets to experience: a nap. Curled up on his side on the couch, blankets pulled snug around his fetal-positioned body, Javier drifts off to the sound of the noon news on the television.

That’s how you find him when you come home. He’s peacefully asleep, his lips parted and mustache moving with his exhales. Well, he’s clearly alive. That’s good.

You’re not sure how long he’s been asleep, so you leave him, making yourself something to eat in the kitchen. You avoid the living room as you get settled in, changing out of your espresso-stained clothing and into something more comfortable.

When you’re all comfy, makeup removed and a warm sweater on, you sit at the other end of the couch. Javier’s curled into a ball, his feet just inches away from your legs. You hope when he moves, he’ll feel you there and wake. If not, oh well. He deserves the rest.

It’s gray and cloudy outside, and you snuggle into the corner of the couch while reading your worn copy of The Great Gatsby. It’s the one you’ve been re-reading recently, what you were reading that first day Javi wandered into your coffee shop and subsequently your life.

Javi wakes not long later, maybe half an hour, to the sound of your book crinkling. The paperback’s spine crunches with wear, and his eyes flutter open to see you tucked against a pillow. God, you look like an angel, the light from the cloudy day filtering in and illuminating you from the back. Your face is calm and peaceful, focused as your eyes trace the words of F. Scott Fitzgerald. “Hi,” Javier mumbles groggily.

Your expression turns to a smile and you set down the book. “Hey.” You take his legs and drape them across your lap, tracing your fingers across them. “How’d you sleep?”

He groans. “Okay. Neck hurts.”

“That wouldn’t be an issue if you’d just sleep with me,” you sing-song to him, stroking his legs through the comfortable pants he wears. “My bed is super cozy.”

God, does Javier know it. It felt like your love itself when he laid down and the warmth of it swallowed him, practically whole. “Maybe I’ll give in,” he sighs, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. “How was work? Sorry I didn’t visit.”

“Boring as always,” you chuckle. “What did you do today?”

Javi frowns as he thinks about it, his brain fogged with sleep. “Not much. Called Murphy, talked a while. He’s doing good.”

“Good,” you nod and smile. “When will I get to meet this elusive Steve?” You ask, softly kneading at his legs through the blanket and frowning as you realize he’s wearing… jeans. “Wait, pause. Are you seriously wearing jeans?” you ask him and laugh, lifting the blanket to confirm what you already suspected.

He frowns defensively, crossing his arms. “Maybe.”

“Why the fuck would you take a nap in jeans, Javi?” You laugh.

Javier looks away, frowning. The stubbornness shows. “I don’t own many comfortable clothes besides what I wear to work, if you haven’t noticed,” he retorts, but you can’t help but giggle. “Plus I thought I’d only be here to get fired.”

You smile at him lovingly and cup his face. “You sweet, stupid workaholic. Let’s go shopping later, get you some cozy stuff.”

Javier warms against your touch but maintains a pout. “I like jeans.”

Rolling your eyes, you huff out a laugh. “Would a pair of sweatpants be detrimental to your wardrobe, Javier?”

“Stop using big words,” he groans. “I’m barely awake.”

-

The large mall is annoying to Javier, full to the brim with last-minute (or maybe prepared, he never holiday-purchases) shoppers. He holds your hand, shooting feisty glares at anyone that dares to bump against his or, god forbid, your side. “Relax,” you tease and squeeze his free hand. The other carries a bag containing two hoodies, three t-shirts, and two pairs of sweatpants. “You’re not on a mission, and you certainly don’t have the knuckles to pitch another fight.”

He looks at his hands and scowls. You’re right. They’re no longer black and blue but faded yellows and greens, a spare bit of purple over the bones. The fight wasn’t that long ago, really, even though it feels like an eternity.

You drag Javier into a favorite shop of yours. He follows you around like a lost puppy while you search through clothes. He even hands you one or two tops he thinks you’d look nice in. You kiss him on the cheek and he dares to smile for a moment before returning to his stone-faced annoyance at such a packed area.

The dressing rooms are nicer, much more spaced out and offering places to rest. Javier sits in a chair across from your little cubby as you try things on. Every time you find something, you come out and model it for him. He comments, always positively, gives a little applause and smiles at the twirl you give in the big trifold mirror.

There’s one pair of leggings that hug your ass tight. Javier nearly salivates at them. “I like those,” he comments. “They look comfortable.” The same follows with a pair of jeans, even more flattering. He crosses his legs and nods, giving you similar comments.

Then come the dresses and tops. They’re all low-cut, not the wintery clothing Javier’s always seen you in. They show off your cleavage, and one scarlet colored blouse with a low neckline and fluffy sleeves makes Javier’s eyes simultaneously light up and darken. “How’s this one?” You ask, tugging at the sleeves.

“How much is it?” He asks, leaning back and looking at you through lidded eyes.

“Uh…” you tell him the cost and look back up at him, expecting a comment. “Why?”

“I’m buying that for you myself,” he smirks up at you, eyeing you up and down in a way that makes your skin feel intensely hot. The sight is stunning to him, and your flustered smile makes the smirk a little more devilish.

Javier does end up buying you the shirt, and you purchase a few other things you liked. But that scarlet shirt is stuck on Javier’s mind in replay: the subtle valley between your tits, how they filled out the shirt just perfectly and tugged at the cloth covering them, the way they look painfully soft to the touch, especially through that soft fabric. He wonders if you were wearing a bra under it. Then he has to stop himself.

You eat dinner late, chatting mindlessly over everything and nothing. Javier has no work to speak of now, so he tells you tall tales of the hunt for Escobar, some exaggerated and some underplayed. He mainly listens to you, asks about your past and your future, your family and your job. He could never tire of your voice, the soothing lull that warms him from the inside out, just like your skin flushed in that goddamn red top.

He drives the both of you home, humming softly to the songs on the radio. He’s beginning to recognize more and more of the top-40 hits on a certain preset station, songs he’d never listen to on his own. He glances over at you, gazing out of the window, and feels his body warm again- not just in his heart, but his stomach and lower too. He dares to steal a glance down, at the soft swell of your tits in that sweater. God, he wants to get you naked.

But he doesn’t. He doesn’t know what you want and he’s too afraid to ask, too afraid to shatter this blissful phase of adoration without the sexual attraction. He wonders if you feel it too, if your clothes suddenly feel too restricting and too warm when you run a hand down his bare back.

The nightly routine ensues: you shower. Javier changes, this time into a new hoodie but leaves his legs bare, wearing only boxers on the bottom. He waits on the couch, and when you exit the bathroom, he takes his turn. He returns and sits next to you on the couch.

Tonight, when you ask him to share your bed with you, he doesn’t say no. In fact, he doesn’t say much of anything, just yawns softly and stands, taking your hand.

It’s a sacred space, your bed. Javier knows it. He rarely fucks women in his; whether it’s for his own privacy or fear they’ll fall asleep there, he can’t say. But your bed is such an intimate expression of you, and he can see it. He can see the divot in the mattress where you sleep, the way you arrange the pillows just right for your own head. It is a queen size, but it’s single-occupancy: until now, that is, and Javier feels honored you’re willing to share this holiness with him.

He gets into the bed on the other side of you, the warm blankets enveloping him, and he nearly lets out a moan at the comfort. Compared to the hotel bed and the couch, this is sleeping on a literal cloud from the heavens. He lies still, waiting to see what you do first. Not wanting to overstep anything.

His prayers are answered when you snuggle into his side. You rest your head on his chest, kissing his sternum through the soft material of the hoodie. A hand rests on the other side of your face, and your legs both encircle one of his. Javier smiles, wrapping an arm around you. He presses a kiss into your hair and murmurs a goodnight, letting his head fall back. He has no time to worry about this situation before he falls asleep.

He falls asleep almost immediately, which makes you chuckle through your half-conscious state. He seems to always radiate heat, Javier. Your layers of blankets upon blankets suddenly feel unnecessary when a heat source the strength of the summer sun fills your bed. His chest is strong and firm beneath you. The rise and fall of his chest is like a boat rocking on the ocean, putting you at ease and allowing you to rest.

-

Fuck. He knew this was a bad idea. Why did he do this?

The clock reads 1:48 and Javier is wide awake, staring at your popcorn-stucco-whatever the fuck it is ceiling. He wasn’t able to process this before sleep overtook him, before his consciousness was wiped and with it, his inhibitions.

Your body is pressed to his so perfectly. You sleep without a bra, and Javier can feel his arm being slightly sandwiched between your breasts, the way they press further into it every time you inhale. Your thighs are warm with sleep, and he can feel your core pressed against his hip, even while you sleep and even through the layers of clothing.

Javier feels like the embodiment of slime. You’re asleep and all he can think about is how fucking hot your body is, how much he wants to press you into this mattress and wake you with an orgasm. He wants to palm your tits and make your nipples harden through that flimsy shirt, to slide his fingers beneath your pajama bottoms and-

He can’t take it. He feels so wrong, the smell of you surrounding him and choking him like a thick perfume, even in its subtlety. He does not deserve to sleep next to you, innocently, like someone you love, when all he can think about is his own carnal desires.

Pushing back the covers, Javier gets out of bed before any more blood can flow to his slowly hardening dick. This is all wrong. He should not be doing this, thinking these things without knowing you feel the same.

But the guilt is as strong as his arousal. He watches you for a moment, torn between his options, before meandering through the darkened bedroom and finding his way into the bathroom. He turns on the bright lights and forces himself to stare at the bulbs, to make his pupils shrink from their blown state of sleep mixed with desperation. He’s fully awake now.

He needs to get the hardened length down. He can’t do this, can’t allow himself this suffering while you sleep in the next room.

The sink. Cold water. He gasps silently at the splash of the ice-cold water against his face, dampening the edges of his hoodie. It doesn’t work enough. Again. Nothing. He feels like a teenager, unable to control himself. The cold water is a good idea, though.

Javier strips down, trying to avoid the urge to take himself in hand and fix this here and now. Turning the water as cold as it can go, Javier turns on the shower and steps in.

Agony is the best term he has. It makes him want to squeal like a fucking pig as he shudders from the cold. It doesn’t work to force his erection down, but what use is it when it’s not something physical but mental stimulating him? The cold shock didn’t do shit. Javier’s still achingly hard. He turns the water warmer and sighs as it gradually turns to a tolerable temperature, one that he can relax under and allow himself to let out a deep sigh.

He has no other options, unless he wants to wait it out. Leaning against the wall, Javier strokes himself, biting his lip and hoping the water pressure will cancel any soft moans he can’t avoid. It doesn’t take long when he’s this aroused, when he knows exactly what the fantasy in his head would feel like.

Javier is panting and sweating, from the effort and the growing heat of the water. He feels disgusting but it feels so good, and he can’t help imagining you doing this to him, you spreading your legs and feeding the fire between his own.

It only takes a few minutes. He gasps as he cums, with a force he’s never brought forth with his own hand. He bites his lip so hard he’s sure he might cut it off, not allowing the desperate sounds to reach a level you could hear. When he’s done, he groans and cracks his neck. “Oh, little bee,” he whispers, agonized as he lets the water wash the evidence of his sins down the drain.

When he’s done, Javier walks into your bedroom, silently, in the dark. His previous boxers were stained with a patch of his precum; he can’t put those back on. He drops the towel and puts on different boxers.

After he’s changed, he looks at your bed longingly for a moment. The soft sheets, soft mattress, the soft body between them. But in Javier’s head, he’s forsaken his right to the warmth, the comfort.

When you wake in the morning, hours after you thought you heard the shower running, you find Javier is not in your bed. There isn’t even a warm spot where he lay, just your body shifted further from your normal sleeping position. When you wander out to make your morning coffee, you find him. He spent the night on the couch again.

-

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @blo0dangel @binarydanvvers  @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867 @greeneyedblondie44 @hunnambabe @astoryisaloveaffair @emesispo @pedritobalmando @magikfanatic @yooforia @oceanablue @sara-alonso @pedrosmustache @feelingmadclever @hnt-escape @radiowallet @obsessivelysearching @sugarontherims @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan @linnie0119 @1800-fight-me @autumnleaves1991-blog @toilet-keeper @evelynseventyr @metalarmsandmanbuns @shannababyy @sambucky21 @princess76179 @starless-eyes-remain @theorganasolo @jagi-yaaa @mrsparknuts @tacticalsparkles @beskarboobs @wintermuteway

[indigoelegy]

everything i know about lunatic circus from being a silly white girl with less than a toddler's comprehension of japanese

hi its me let me just preface this by saying uh the ONLY THING i'm able to properly read are their names because they have furigana and i can read that. everything else is a sort of Guess based on looking at the pictures and trying to piece it together in my mind. also ive only had a brief look at both the volumes (not so much volume 2 i havent actually looked through all of that). basically dont take ANYTHING i say at all as fact. please. im going based on VIBES alone. THIS IS GUESSWORK. ok so speaking of vibes first of all i get a bad feeling somehow. i dont know if its bc im traumatised from OTHER THINGS (stares) set in a kind of circus........ circus-like setting........ freakshow perhaps....... IF YOU GET WHAT IM SAYING but i get a bad feeling. LIKE I MEAN probably i'm wrong, right? because furuya isnt usually. like that. especially not nowadays but JUST IN CASE i just have some kind of weird feeling about it being set In A Circus

im just going to bulletpoint my assumptions based on the pictures

kujaku is a major asshole and i get the impression he's money hungry? there's this one panel which could be money next to him so im assuming that's what that means. nothing going to go wrong with that one im sure

hes also a major asshole because the troupe members line up before him and he WHIPS RANPO IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY. he also smacks one of the clowns and strikes a woman member to the ground and whips her as well (kizumaru tries to protect her, i think?)

ryunosuke spends a BUNCH of time on top of the tent talking or singing? to the weird creepy moon thing

i think ranpo and ryunosuke are going to be the boys who kiss in this one

no basis for this except they seem to be rivals and they get pictured together all the time

i think ranpo resents ryunosuke for being their poster boy while he's presumably an underperformer (thats the only reason i can fathom kujaku whipping him like that in front of everybody)

ranpo performs one of the things that i ASSUME only ryunosuke was able to do before (trapeze blindfolded) and he lands it and is excited about it??? maybe he gloats

and ryunosuke has a whole. whole issue about this. he goes into his room and screams (it literally says あああああああああああああああ which is pretty universal. even i know what that means!)

he does this shirtless and nagi peers in his window obviously wondering whats wrong with him but when ryunosuke sees him he gets embarrassed bc he has no shirt

i get the impression that its going to be like. ranpo has a jealous hateboner for ryunosuke because hes well loved and talented but the pressure of being their poster boy is driving him up the wall and theyll bond over the feeling of not being good enough for kujaku's money hungry little fingies no matter what etc etc

i havent had a solid look through volume 2 yet but i think ryunosuke is like. seriously ill. theres a panel or two in there that looks like he could be HALLUCINATING? while on the trapeze (PLEASE DONT TAKE MY WORD FOR THAT. I DONT KNOW. IT MIGHT NOT BE THAT) but either way even if that's not the case i get the impression hes very very troubled

nagi is a sweet little baby guy and i love him so much

also kujaku is even sussier in volume 2 bc in the beginning hes getting cosy with what looks to be like. a little girl. he is 74 years old (it says this). i'll get a picture of this one bc i cant believe my balls about this one to be honest

the little girl (idont know if she is actually a child or whether she just looks like one) is my pfp : ) i like her but i think kujaku should stop it

hotaru is like the troupe father???

or hes like. the responsible older brother type. either way he seems very kind and cool hes like he and nagi are best friends

btw hotaru and kizumaru are in their 20s but everybody else is 15-17 (nagi is 15 (and he goes to school before coming to the circus!), ryunosuke, ranpo and yuumi are 17 (not 100% sure abt yuumi its been a while since i looked) and karen and ikkoku are both 16)

there are a lot of panels which just linger on like

Man Attributes. this is a very gay affair

ok i only just noticed this in my sleep deprived haze RIGHT NOW but it maybe lends a little more weight that ryunosuke and ranpo are the only two who have names that might be derived from japanese authors AS FAR AS I KNOW. as far as i know. i dont know a lot about japanese literature except the absolute pop culture toddler basics (as usual) but i only Just Noticed. i havent checked if its the same kanji or anything YET but i will get back here when i do

anyway thats it i'll update this if i think of anything else but AGAIN PLEASE. PLEASE. i am JUST SOLELY looking at the pictures the ONLY THING I KNOW FOR CERTAIN are their names. its ONLY their names. i just bought them because i was curious and also physical books make me foam at the mouth like a rabid little doggy. i dont know if theres any other Better information out there about this manga but i couldnt find ANYTHING so i was like hm! my job now even though i, again, have a 3 month old's understanding of japanese please do not take any of this seriously im just guessing.

love you bye

edit btw if you want to see any of this you can just like you can dm me or send me an ask or whatever : )

[havin-a-wee]

Stars Align

pairing: harry styles x y/n

warnings: fluff, ig you could consider it angst but its really just mysterious

word count: 2k

hello! i apologize for kind of disappearing, my fic rec account has kind of blown up and ive been super busy with that.

this is my entry for @sweetlygolden 's Harry On Holiday Challenge! i chose strangers in the same city, and the line prompt “That is the worst sunburn I’ve ever seen.” i honestly already have a part 2 planned out but we'll see how it goes!

“How much longer are you going to stare at that pretending like it’s interesting.”

Her soft voice surprised him, and he whipped his head around to see who had been speaking to him.

For the first time in a while, Harry was able to get away for a little. Of course, he travels a lot for work, but this was the first vacation since he can remember where he was alone, doing whatever he pleases. He chose Italy for this special occasion, because it’s always been one of his favorite places, and he missed the freedom of wandering around the boot shaped country without a care in the world.

The day's adventures had brought him to La Galleria Nazionale d’Arte Moderna e Contemporanea, which is a museum that he's been wanting to see for quite some time. He started the day off by getting a cappuccino and a crespelle from a wonderful little cafe down the street from his hotel.

Right afterwards he walked to the museum, taking in the sights around him on the 20 minute trek to his destination. Before the woman behind him snatched his attention, he was staring at a painting of an abstract house. The house was only painted in blue, and the artist had used the different shades and tones of the color to create the details in the painting.

He had been staring at it for a good amount of time, which he assumed is what prompted the stranger to talk to him.

It’s his 3rd day on the trip, leaving him 4 more until he has to be back in L.A. for work. He has no plans, no schedules, no job to do. It’s just him and the world. At least, that’s what he assumed it would be. The vacation is supposed to be a solo one, however, he’s currently staring at a stranger that decided to speak to him. And for some reason, he is drawn to her. Compelled to spend time with her after just a simple sentence was spoken between the two of them.

When he fully turns around she jumped, a bit startled by his bright red complexion. “That is the worst sunburn I have ever seen!”

It was true, Harry had managed to get himself a nasty burn on the first day in Italy. He usually tans instead of getting a sunburn, but when you’re used to the dreary weather of the UK, it can be hard to forget how strong the sun is in other places.

So he had laid out on the beach and fell asleep, waking up a few hours later with tomato red skin and a burning sensation covering the exposed skin.

“That’s what happens when y’fall asleep on a beach in Rome,” he chuckled, smiling awkwardly at the woman before him.

She’s beautiful, there is absolutely no denying that. She was wearing a simple spaghetti-strap black dress that cut off right at the knee. There were no designs, no embellishments, just a black dress that hugged her figure perfectly. Her lips have a deep red lipstick smeared across them, and he couldn’t help but notice how the color complimented her skin tone. Her simple black pumps completed the outfit, and her hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, with a few of the front strands falling out of the hair tie and framing her face.

“I’d assume so.” Her demeanor is serious, even though there's a smile on her face. She’s…..intimidating?

Harry hasn’t been intimidated by anything since he was a teenager. Once you perform in front of thousands of screaming people, who also happen to idolize you, things don’t tend to phase a person anymore.

But for some reason, her presence caused butterflies to fly around in his stomach, a feeling he hasn’t felt in a long time. He actually enjoyed the feeling, it reminded him of when everything was normal.

What also reminded him of normality was the fact that she seems to not have the slightest clue of who he is. If she does, she’s sure as hell good at hiding it.

“You’ve been looking at the same painting for 10 minutes, just wanted to make sure you hadn’t fallen asleep.” A small laugh escaped her lips, and the noise agitated the fluttering butterflies residing in his tummy. Her voice is mesmerizing, and she sounds like what Harry imagines an angel to sound like. She has an American accent, and it eased his nerves slightly that she was also a tourist.

He turned back to the painting to look at it, but it was also convenient in that she wouldn’t be able to see his undoubtedly flushed cheeks.

“Yeah m’not sure what it is ‘bout it but there’s somethin’ special with this one.”

“That’s Prismi lunari by Fortunato Depero, he was very talented.” Harry spun around once again to face her, shocked at her knowledge of the random artwork.

“You know that off of the top of your head?” He tilts his head and looks at her, furrowing his brows in confusion. He’s pretty sure there was no label for the painting, and if there was it was way too small for her to see from where she’s standing.

“I know a lot of things.”

The statement was simple, but Harry wondered if her words paired with the smirk on her face are code for something else. “How long have you been here?” Her question snapped him out of his thoughts, and he looked up at her and smiled. He flicks his wrist and directs his attention to it, reading the Gucci watch adorning his wrist.

“Well I got here at 11, so about 5 hours.” It honestly surprised him when he realized it was 4 o’clock, but he knows how wrapped up he gets in artwork so he must have lost track of time.

“Jesus christ! I can barely stand to walk around a museum for an hour!” She blows out a puff of air, mocking being out of breath. They both laugh at her comment, Harry laughing a bit harder than her. “What’s your name?”

“Oh! M’Harry, s’nice to meet you.” He stuck out his ring-clad hand, and her delicate fingers wrapped around his as she shook it.

“Well Harry, wanna get out of here and walk around with someone who knows the city?” She points at herself, and the small smile she gave him earlier transformed into a silly grin.

“Well m’not sure how well an American can know the city, but I’ll bite.” Usually he would never do this. Going off with strangers is never a good idea, especially because of his status. But there’s something about the girl that makes Harry feel safe. They had just met yet he feels like he could trust her with things he hasn’t even told his best friends.

“An American who’s been living here for a year, that is.” His eyebrows raise slightly, intrigued by her new admission. But before he can even open his mouth to speak, she grabs his wrist with her daintily manicured hand and whisks him out of the quiet museum.

The air was humid, quickly drawing beads of sweat from his forehead. He’s also quite baffled at how she was completely unphased. Not a single drop of sweat was dripping on her body, her soft skin untouched like an old porcelain doll, preserved for years in perfect condition.

“I’ll show you around a little, we can go to this wonderful little vintage store I know.” She had turned to face him, her hand moving from his wrist to cup his one hand in both of hers. “Um- at least, if you want to.” For the first time, she was nervous. Although she will never admit it, Harry makes her extremely nervous. Extremely.

When he turned around when they first met, her jump of surprise wasn’t just because of his bright sunburn. In fact, it wasn’t about that at all. It was about how fucking attractive he is. He really looks like one of the statues that was put up in the museum. His sparkling green eyes send a shiver down her spine, and the tattoos peaking through his thin white t-shirt cause a fire to build in her stomach.

Having someone to talk too while he traversed the streets of Rome is a lot more enjoyable than Harry had anticipated. He purposefully told all of his friends that he was going to be MIA while on this trip. But the fact that she is a stranger changes it in some way, in a good way.

The cobblestone streets are surprisingly smooth, and they walk next to each other in a comfortable silence for a long amount of time. The silence would only break when she would point out something in their field of vision. At one point, Harry pauses, standing still in the middle of the street with a thinking look on his face. He realizes that he doesn’t know her name, which seems ridiculous to him because they were walking around a foreign country like the best of friends. She turns to him, matching his confused look when they lock eyes. “I just realized I don’t know y’name.”

Instead of reacting like he would expect one to react when asked that question, her pupils dilated and for some reason she appears to be scared. Why would someone be scared when you ask for their name?

‘Maybe she thinks her name is embarrassing’ Harry thought, still looking at her with a confused look, but now it was laced with a bit of suspicion.

He watches her sigh, and her hand went up to her ponytail and pulled the black elastic out, her soft hair cascading down her shoulders. With another sigh she said, “Y/N. My names Y/N.”

“That’s a really beautiful name.”

“Oh! There’s the store!”

He found it odd that she was so eager to switch the subject, but goes along with it nonetheless.

The vintage store is lovely, and Harry was able to find a beautiful ring and necklace set, matching gold roses on both of them. They looked around the shop for about 15 minutes, Harry being the only one to make a purchase.

The sun had set by the time they went outside, which isn’t surprising considering that it was almost dark when they walked into the little shop. They stood, facing each other outside of this small little shop in Rome. Two strangers, who just happened to cross each other's path. Harry knows this won’t last forever, and he also knows that he wants to see her again. In a leap of faith, he pulls the gold necklace out of the small brown bag and looks up at her.

“Here, I got them so we could match.” It was bold, but Harry feels connected to this girl, and he doesn’t know it, but she feels the exact same. The smile she gave him when he handed her the necklace was bright and genuine, the creases next to her eyes proving its authenticity. He motioned for her to turn around, wrapping the necklace around her neck and clasping it while she held up her hair.

“Thank you Harry. This is the best day I’ve had in a while.”

“Likewise.”

“I hate to do this, but I have to go. Have a wonderful rest of your trip Harry.”

It was then that she placed a small, tender peck on his lips, barely lingering for a second before pulling away.

“Wait! Can I get y’number?” Her smile slanted into a smirk, and she pulled a small card and a pen out of her small black clutch. She placed the card up against the brick wall, leaning it against it and scribbling something down on the paper. When she finished writing, she pressed her lips against the card, handing it to Harry.

He looked down at it, expecting to see a series of numbers, but he was met with a simple note, scribbled on the piece of cardstock next to the red lip print she had left.

May the stars align in our favor once again. - Y/N

He looked up frantically, planning to ask her to write her number down as well, but he was met with nothing.

She had disappeared into the night, leaving as quickly as she appeared earlier that day.

[tigerdrop]

I don't know why it's so appealing to me but B3nrey without the helmet and the vest just makes me go nuts. More specifically how Gord0n would react to him without them. Like the Half Life one model represents B3nrey is pretty iconic and instantly recognizable as him but a lot of the time B3nrey doesn't even register as a real guy, just your standard video game antagonist. But then you take a couple layers off and then it's just some guy (a handsome one at that) and how it would throw Gord0n for a loop (maybe even try take off a couple of those layers himself). Sorry for the long ask, it's just that your helmet-less B3nrey is very handsome and your body swap fic has had an iron grip on me ever since I read it.

hee hee.......thank you : ) ive thought about it a lot too! its like the nerd -> hot girl transformation in movies where she just lets her hair down and takes off her glasses and shes a totally different person. except in this case its "he pulls off his helmet and whips out his greasy undercut and gordons totally taken aback by it". theres a Guy under there, and not just polygons......in that vein, theres a whole thing coming up once they get to black mesa east that i think u will be a really big fan of. warm welcomes, hot meals, communal showers.....you know

ive been wanting to redraw that body swap pic that went along with the fic draft for a long while now and im glad its still on ur mind : ) thank u for message

[rqsie]

bts fanfic recommendations.

(hiiii, these are my favorite fics ever. i highly recommend all of them. btw these are all manxwoman bc i dont really read manxman

btwww i couldnt tag all accounts cuz for some annoying ass reason tumblr only lets u tag 50 accounts.... sorry)

kim seokjin:

dont wanna fall (m) by @9uk

sugar daddy!seokjin

love bite (m) by @taetaesbaebaepsae

vampire!y/n

these wicked delights (m) by @ditzymax

incubus!seokjin

the leather loafers by @jimlingss

cinderella au (cinderella aus are superior and ofc jimlingss is a queen. everything she writes is a 10/10)

min yoongi:

heaven’s winter (m) by @matchakoo

seraph!yoongi

2.1 out of 5.0 (m) by @minflix

black mirror au

mixtape (m) by @jungblue

baby, you can drive my car (m) by @jungshookz

mechanic!yoongi

jung hoseok:

heartbeat (m) by @joonbird

gang au (i LOVEE heartbeat so much. everybody should read it, its so good)

the worst wonderful time of the year by @lamourche

christmas au, office au

my soul to reap (m) by @readyplayerhobi

reaper!hoseok, harpy!y/n

the purge by @jungblue

purge au

distractions (m) by @dreamscript

may the odds ever be in your favor (m) by @yandearest

hunger games au, yandere!hoseok

hot rod (m) @kinktae

greaser!hoseok (yes i think its the best of all of the rewind fics. sorry bitchin' stans 😴)

kim namjoon:

a taste of heaven (m) by @joonited

(read this NOW!! its really short anyway)

runaways (m) by @littlemisskookie

nerd!namjoon (yall read all the warnings first cuz its honestly kinda fucked up 😳)

thrills found on solid ground (m) by @bibbykins

soft yandere!namjoon (even though its a yandere au its really really soft yandere, i could hardly tell tbh, and its literally so good)

castaways (m) by @rmnamjoons

desert island au (this took me so long to read but definitely worth it)

wrap it up (m) by @1997jk

the dragons lair (m) by @solastia

hybrid!namjoon

park jimin:

otherworldly (m) by @sinning-on-a-sunday

coraline au, yandere!jimin (coraline and jimin. it doesnt get better than that me thinks)

ragdoll (m) by @ausblack

hybrid!jimin

i love you by @seokjinchuriki

vampire!jimin (GUYSSS,,,,, this one is so short but fuck i love it so much.... 😭😭 i would die for vampire jimin)

chained to you (m) by @addicktjimin

fuckboy!jimin

peaches & piercings (m) by @matchakoo

cheerleader!y/n, punk!jimin

kim taehyung:

stuck with you (m) by @jungshookz

roommates au (i think the best thing about all this fic are the drabbles. they really make her characters feel so alive)

tempting (m) by @kinktae

demon!taehyung (again literally everything this queen writes is amazing!!!!!!! but im not afraid to admit that i think tempting is her best work 😌)

pretty kitten (m) by @sweetheartjeongguk

hybrid au, camgirl!y/n

worshippers of the sky by @jimlingss

greek goddess!y/n (my second favorite series ever i think. i deadass cried at the end of the last chapter purly because it was over and loved it so much)

dont ask, dont tell (m) by @jingabitch

hybrid!taehyung

the seven seas (m) by @readyplayerhobi

atlantis au

forbidden by @namjoonbby1

try my luck (m) by @drquinzelharleen

teacher!taehyung

jeon jungkook:

secrets of silk (m) by @nochugguk

camboy!jungkook

by its cover (m) by @gimmesumsuga

the devil’s change up (m) @jungblue

baseball player!jungkook

raising demons (m) by @jeonseok

demon!jungkook

énouement (m) by @littlemisskookie

mulan au

gold rush (m) by @nochugguk

track runner!jungkook (i literally was obsessed with this fic, i have read it sooo many times)

streamy (m) by @jungkookiebus

angel in darkness (m) by @icyhobi

mafia au, prostitution au

new romantics by @cupofteaguk

hogwarts au (if you like hogwarts aus,, this is a must read)

hunting a hybrid (m) by @btswrckd

hybrid!jungkook

under the moonlight (m) by @katobobato

werewolf!jungkook

the sea & the storm (m) by @jamaisjoons

sea spirit!y/n (this one is also really good, but i especially loved the ending. it deadass made me so happy)

shimmers by @boywivlove

hogwarts au

finding beauty in your darkest places (m) by @dreamingofkoo

mental clinic au

what happened in vegas (m) by @namjoonbby1

stripper!y/n

offside (m) by @daddychims

soccer player!jungkook (omg i only just realized that this is on tumblr too. ive always read it on ao3 cuz i didnt know it was on here. but im happy i can add it cuz its one of my fave fics ever and i always recommend it to my friends)

quarter quell by @chinkbihh

hunger games au, yandere!jungkook (omg someone else reminded me of this fic. and like thank u,,, cuz i literally forgot it existed. but i remember reading the first part and being in love with it so i read part 2 and now i love it even more 🥳 i highly recommend and im really existed for part 3. also everything on this account is a gem for yandere!bts fans)

jimin + taehyung:

baby, baby (m) by @hobiwonder

surrogacy au (i really love this one. especially jimin, he is so cute)

namjoon + seokjin:

zodiac (m) by @honeymoonjin

(i honestly dont even know how to discribe this one but its like soooo good.

hoseok + namjoon:

for the crown @seokoloqy

royality au (its an interactive which is so cool tbh)

ot7:

enjoy your stay (m) by @honeymoonjin

hotel!au (its been a while since i read this one but i did really enjoy it. i just really love hotel type aus for some reason)

armed to the fangs (m) by @jingabitch

vampire!bts, hunter!y/n (i actually really like how slowburn it is. im getting so tired of fics where y/n is like “i hate you guys,,, im not easy like other girls” and then jumps on their dick the next chapter lmao. but yes,,, this one is really good)

men on the 13th floor (m) by @khyunni

hotel au, ghost au (i love this one so much)

the iris hotel by @sugakookiecrumble

hotel au, horror au (again,,,, i really like hotel aus)

catalyst (m) by @untilspringdays

mafia au

oasis by @secret-kpoplibrary

hybrid!bts (yall this fic is so cute. i always reread when i want something fluffy)

all is fair in love & war by @smoljamswrites

mafia au

undecided by @nomimits7

detective au (i really love these type of aus!!)

thesis it by @xherxx

roommates au (this fic has a special place in my heart cuz i remember loving it so much that i stayed up the whole night to read it and skipped school the next day cuz i was too tired. good times)

moth to flame (m) by @bang-to-the-tan

vampire!bts (not to be controversial lol but im my opinion this is the best smut. its just sooo good lmfao. also vampire bts 😋 what else could u want)

ethereal orbit (m) by @miamorjoon

alien au (saving the best for last ofc. seriously i think ethereal orbit is my favorite fic ever. i just love it so much. also yall don’t understand how whipped i am for eo namjoon and jungkook. theyre the best. you have to read this one)

anyway thats all for now. i might update it later. i hope this helps u find new pics. btw sorry for the lack of yoongi and seokjin,,, 💔😾

[honeypirate]

my sun and stars

Izuku Midoirya x Reader 

In my head theyre in their last year of school and end up fighting a bad villian, deku saves reader and ends up getting hurt, leading to a kind of confession.  

flufffyyyyy best friends to more

Heavily unedited so I apologize for the mistakes I know are there somewhere.

The girls of class 1A, Aoyama, and you, sat cross legged on the floor of Deku’s room. A book on the floor between you all that explains the chemical makeup of what you needed “thank you so much for this Yao-Momo. It really is a help since it’s so late and I don’t know where to even get these.” she smiles “no problem, this is an amazing idea” the little plastic pieces start to fall from her skin, onto the floor around her. You squeal in excitement and start to pick up the pieces, grabbing the sticky tack that she made first, and begin hanging the plastic pieces all over the room. You didn’t finish until early in the morning, around 3am. You were happy even though you knew you had to get up early to go to the hospital

Your neck ached but you didn’t care, you kept your hand in his and your forehead against your hand as you rested in the hospital. Your best friend, Izuku Midoriya, has been in a coma for the past few days, you made a huge fuss and now they let you stay with him however long you wanted if you just went home at night to shower and sleep. School has been out for the past few days because of rebuilding from the attack, Midoriya only got hurt because he was protecting you and you felt guilty because of it. You wanted to be with him as long as possible until he woke up, and the teachers knew that, Aizawa was there as long as you were but he gave you space, sitting outside of the door. He walked you back to school at the end of the night, and was there in the morning when you left the dorm, the travel to and fro was always silent but you were grateful for the company. 

“y/n, what are you doing here?” your head snaps up from the bed “you’re awake!” you say and smile, but your smile falls away when you see the disgusted look on his face and the way he whips his hand away from yours “oh..” you whisper, your heart beginning to race. “What are YOU doing here?” he asks again, his eyes turning dark, “I uhh, i wanted to be here when you woke up, i was worried..” you withdraw into the chair you were sitting in, feeling smaller than a pinhead, “don't tell me you’re IN LOVE with me?! Don't make me laugh” and he does, long and loud, hard enough to bring tears to his eyes. You feel tears burn your eyes and quickly scoot your chair back, popping to your feet and trying to run out the door, but the door won't open when you push it. You try to force it open and it doesn’t budge, your hand freezes when his laughter stops and he speaks again “i never should have hurt myself for you. You’re not worth it. It should be you in this hospital bed” you gasp and tears start to flow down your cheeks, the door immediately flies open and all of your friends are outside the door, laughing and shoving their way inside while chanting “it should have been you” you take a step back and trip, falling on your butt and choking on a sob. You scoot farther back until youre up against the wall, your friends walking slowing towards you and Midoriya standing from his hospital bed, walking over to you with a smirk before crouching down in front of you“D..deku. Why?”  you sob as you look into his dark green eyes you loved, he chuckles “because I could never love a person like you” 

You woke up with a gasp in a cold sweat, panting and your heart racing, the dream you were just in still fresh in your mind. You throw your covers off and go to open the window in your room, the cool night air cooling off your body as you took deep breaths to calm yourself down. “That was so rude of you, brain” you whisper to nobody and then get back in bed, reaching over and checking your phone, 4:04am. Your alarm would go off in three hours but you doubt that you would get any more sleep tonight. 

The walk to the hospital was the same as all the others, only thing heard was your footsteps on the pavement, when you get to his hospital room you stop, hand on the door, and frown. “Is something wrong?” Mr. Aizawa asks and you shake your head. “Just a bad dream.” you whisper and then turn your face towards him “thank you for always walking with me. I really appreciate it” he nods and you finally enter the room. 

You tell his unconscious form about your dream, “and yeah” you yawn “i didn't sleep after that.” you pull your chair across the room to be by the bed, sitting down and pulling a blanket out from your bag and a book you had to read for your class, pulling your knees up and settling in. “i really hope you wake up soon, Deku. I miss you.” 

A chorus of beeping is what woke him up, his eyes slowly fluttering open, the groan in his throat dying before it can come out when he catches sight of your unconscious form sleeping curled up in the chair next to his bed, your peaceful sleeping face giving him butterflies. “She’s here every day, all day, leaving only to go home and sleep before coming back in the morning” his eyes moved over to the doorway where the voice was “mr Aizawa!” he says in a whisper. Aizawa comes in quietly, looking at you and your book that fell to the ground, “you should have seen the fuss that they made on the first day when we tried to send them home. They really care about you” he covers his mouth as he yawns and then shoves his hands in his pocket. Izuku’s eyes go back over to you as he sits up quietly, stifling the groan of his soar muscles, he doesn’t know what to say, the fact that you care so much about him makes his heart sore, he's been in love with you for so long but felt convinced you saw him as only a friend. This makes him hope you see him as more.

A hand on your shoulder makes you up, you open your eyes and see the dark green eyes from your dream. You gasp, your eyes widening and your heart beat spiking as you sit up straight in the chair, trying to back away from him but the back of the chair stopping you. “Hey hey it’s just me it’s okay” his eyes, you realized, weren’t dark at all. But filled with sweetness and a kindness that you were so familiar with. The beautiful green eyes you loved, nothing like the ones from your dream. You relax and then laugh awkwardly “sorry. Bad dreams recently” you shove the blanket off your lap as excitement finally makes its way throughout your body. You throw your arms around the boy's neck and hug him gently but quickly. “Are you okay? Why are you out of bed?!” one of his arms, the one without the IV, wraps around your back “i’m okay. I wanted to wake you, I’m sorry i couldn’t wait any longer” you pull back and smile as you look into his eyes, your hands staying on his neck “how long have you been up? You should have woken me at the exact moment. Izuku I missed you so much you have no idea how worried i’ve been” you from and he chuckles, reaching up to push your frown into a smile “you looked so peaceful and lovely i couldn't bring myself to. Mr. Aizawa has told me a little about how worried you’ve been.” you help him stand and help him back to his bed, your face flushed knowing that Aizawa talked about you. 

 “Has the doctor come in?” he nods “she told me everything and answered all my questions, and the nurses too. They all love you, you know. Raved about how sweet you were and how moved they are that you’ve been so dedicated to me. Half of them think we’re dating” you laugh uncomfortably, turning away to pull the chair closer before you sat down again “is that so?” you say.

“What was your bad dream about? Will you tell me?” his voice was soft and you sighed, your eyes moving up from the stain on the chair to meet his green eyes again, “it wasn’t nice and it is really dumb, are you sure you want to hear it?” he nods and you nod as well, looking down at your hands in your lap, turning them to look at your palms as you relay the dream to him, leaving out the part where he told you he could never love you, though, didn't want to confess just yet. “Please look at me” his voice was quiet, you looked slowly up into his eyes, he’s smiling softly and his eyes are gentle “it isn’t dumb. and I want to protect you. I hate seeing you get hurt. I would never ever think like that. Okay?” you nod and smile, a load felt like it was taken from your shoulders, you didn’t even feel like it bothered you this much. “Thank you, Izuku” you clear your throat and begin to fold your blanket in your lap “do you know when you can go home?” he sighs “not till tomorrow morning, have to keep me overnight for observations” you smile and take his hand on the bed “i am so glad you’re awake and okay” his heart is racing as hard ad yours was and his cheeks begin to flush so he looks away from you and changes the topic. 

You spent the rest of the day with him, catching up on what he missed and playing some card games. You were so relieved he was okay and coming home. The rest of the class showed up as well his Mom (who stayed the rest of the day with you both) and the class brought so many watermelons you didn't know what to do with half of them. You ended up giving them to some of the hospital staff. 

The next morning you met Izuku at the hospital to go home with him, smiling and bouncing on your toes, excited to show him what you did in his room. When you get there you ask him to close his eyes as you enter, he laughs but still follows your orders when your hand goes up to cover his eyes. 

“I hope you like it Izuku” you whisper before you drop your hand, you left the light on all night and brought in your blackout curtains to make sure the whole room was pitch black. When he opened his eyes he was greeted with the most beautiful display of glow in the dark stars and planets, exact constellations spread out around his ceiling and walls, all of the ones you guys found together one night after a big fight with a villain when you both couldn’t sleep and you snuck out to the roof.

 His hand finds yours in the dark and he laces your fingers together “y/n I…” you swallow hard, your stomach filled with knots of excitement and butterflies “do you like it?” you whisper and he chuckles “I love it. It’s so amazing” you feel relieved “i’m so glad” he pulls you into his arms into a hug that feels like it reached your very core. 

Something about the darkness made you feel bolder, maybe because you couldn’t see his face, you grab fistfuls of his shirt across his back, burying your face into his neck whispering “you are my sun and stars, Izuku” his heart stopped and he froze, did you really say that or is this a dream? It takes him a good second to restart his heart and pull you tighter against his chest. “And you are mine” he says and pulls back, reaching up to cup your cheek in the dark, his thumb tracing your bottom lip before he leans down, pressing his lips gently to yours.

[sunlightandsuffering]

giiiiirl ive read ur newest fic and omg??? kinky af eren is so hot like when he pushes his cum inside her just so it wouldnt go to waste!!! ugh ur mind i love it!!!! anyways, i am imagining them to like tell their parents theyre alr together and then all of them will be like "not surprised" and "FINALLY!" carla will dote on their baby boy and will be the bestest grandma out there ugh. its a kinky fic but i cant help my fluffy thoughts T___T

😂😂😂 anon I love u, I finally wrote a full honest to god breeding fic, like thats the whole fic, that's the whole kink IT'S ALL ABOUT THAT, THE SEX, THE PRIMAL URGES and u out here like 🥺🥺 I think Carla will love their baby. im dead. For u I will write a little something bc this entertains me 😂😂

When they tell their families they're having a child there are some mixed reactions to say the least. They're all together for thanksgiving and they're all just staring at them. "You two are dating?" Her dad asks and her mom is practically vibrating in her seat with excitement over grandchildren. Meanwhile Eren's family are just struggling to comprehend the news. Grisha looks a little concerned about it but Carla is practically crying. "Oh Mikasa, my darling girl, I always knew it would be you to get my child to pull his head out of his ass. I knew one day you'd give me grandbabies, that you'd convince him." Carla pulls her into a strong hug, "He brought home all those other girls just to appease us at Christmas, but I knew it could only be you." Mikasa is happy, so happy, until she computes Carla's words. Hold up, what other girls now?? Eren didn't date, he was like a sexless robot half the time she's known him and now he's a creepy little nympho, there hasn't been a lot of in between since she's known him.

Her head whips around to look at him from her place in Carla's grip, "Other girls, Eren? Care to explain?" Rather maddeningly, he shrugs, "You didn't think I was celibate the entire time did you?"

Carla is quick to reassure Mikasa though, before her mind can explode. "Oh don't worry about it Mikasa, they were all those nerdy little science girls, the tall willowy ones, no curve to them. Usually had glasses and no charisma, for a while I thought Eren was cloning them or something. You were the only reason I held out hope," her future mother in law is tearing up a bit, "And now you're giving me everything I could have ever asked for, oh thank you Mikasa, and a baby boy too, I've always wanted another boy to dote on. My grandson is going to be spoiled!" Eren gives her an exaggerated thumbs up from where he's being interrogated by her side of the family.

She's a little miffed he has had real girlfriends, a little curious too, what does mad scientist Eren Yeager's type look like? She knows it's obviously her now, but she can't help her morbid curiosity, what kind of weird science girls was he seeing before .The field of genetic research doesn't really lend itself to great dating possibilities.

He grins as she mouths to him that he'd better tell her later.

Irritatingly he shrugs once again and Mikasa resolves to leave him as soon as their child is born, she can't deal with this shrugging anymore!

[h0neyjaehyun]

☁︎ 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 ☁︎

Summary // Tali has a heart to heart with Chan, and the Dreamies experience Tali's child like personality when she is really happy.

Characters // Talia Flores + Bang Chan (ft. Dreamies expect Mark, Doyoung)

Era / Year // October 2017

Word Count //

Bold // English

⚠️Warning⚠️ // Breakdown

"Chan its gonna be okay, its not your fault it was never your fault and never will be."

It was the middle of a survival show of the creation of Straykids, Minho not to long ago got eliminated. She went over to his house and brung him food to cheer him up and she promised him that when she had free time she would help him with singing plus rapping. Then just last night Felix got eliminated just because he couldn't speak Korean properly, deep down she felt guilty not teaching him Korean, but she was busy with schedules she couldn't. After Chan walked him to his home, she just finished practice and went to Felix's house to comfort him. He felt so guilty and her heart broke at her friend feeling guilty he couldn't speak a language.

Korean was hard to learn from an english speaker perspective. It was like the opposite of English. She striked a deal with him at least once a week she would help him with Korean, inperson or through a screen since she did have to go on tour.

After she left Felix's place after putting him to sleep. She went to the person who felt most guilty.

She went into JYP building heading towards the studio where Chan usually is. He always in there, either producing, or avoiding his problems and feelings. She heard music, it was Hellevator, she heard it replay over and over again. She knocked on the door, the music stopped and it revealed a tried Chan.

"Hey sweetie" Tali smiled at him sadly she came in and sat on one of the chairs. Chan sat down on his chair and just looked at her. Then he just started to breakdown.

"I- I- I failed the- them Tali." Chan choked up crouched down in Tali's stomach.

"No, no you didn't Chan you tried your be-"

"NO I DIDN'T, I LET THEM GET ELIMINATED TALI....its my fault, I failed them, I promised we would debut together Tali....I promised them." Chan sobbed. Promises to them meant a lot to them. So when Chan couldn't keep that promise it broke him.

"Chan its gonna be okay, its not your fault it was never your fault and never will be." Tali comforted Chan petting his hair trying to calm him down.

"They don't blame you, they don't hate you, as long as you keep trying and helping each other you guys will make it. Jyp was just nit picky. This is not your fault." Tali said cupping his face whipping the tears off his face.

"But-" "No buts Channie, come on, lets go out for a bit, and get your mind off things" Tali suggested

Chan agreed.

They packed up at went to a open store and got some food and snacks. They went to a near by play ground and stayed there for a bit talking.

"Tali?"

"Hm?"

"How do you handle it?"

"Handle what?"

"The hate?"

Tali stopped at the question. She looked up at him in confusion. "What do you mean how do I handle the hate Channie?"

"Well, Ive been seeing some comments that, Im not a good leader or person and that im a f-"

"Shh hey hey, one that not true and two... I don't. Im not able to, but I don't show it. I usually distracted myself and not think about it. But they do get to me I am human."

"What about the staff?"

"Oh the staff are still asswholes to me and the Chinese line. I record whats she said about boys and me. Also that she left a member behind and got in the car instead. Honestly one more thing from her, she out." Chan laughed at her statement, but knowing she was serious. She hated when people get discriminated, she doesn't care if she does, only the people around her. So a staff member came she started acting like the boss and mistreating the chinese members which got Tali pissed.

Whether the boys or the staff know it she has a lot of power. Sm made her co-leader for a reason and that is to point out any staff mistreating members and setting them straight or firing them. They know she honest and knows how the entertainment system works. So they trust her who ever can't handle the idols or treat the idols properly and are reported by her. They will get fired so quick. So most staff that worked with her before know this and they know not to tell new staff because the staff themselves don't want a problems in the future because of another staff member.

"So one more strike huh?"Tali looked up at him.

"Yeah" she said quietly.

"How are you and Han?" Tali frozed at the boy's name.

"Fine" Chan raised an eyebrow at her.

"Fine? Really that all you gonna give me?"Tali sighed at the statement.

"Well, I don't know, its just. Its hard. He didn't believe me Chan. When he promised he would be there. He left me." Tali said quietly.

Chan was saddened that she still was unsure of her friendship with the boy. He made a promise he shouldn't have and didn't believe her words and left her, then expected when she forgive him everything would go back to normal. Which did, from the outside. People who did know Tali, would know it wasnt gonna go back to normal anytime soon.

When Tali talkes to people she cares about, her eyes have this light about them. But when she is unsure of the person a doubts them she has this sheild which would take a pretty long time to get down. It took Han since 2015 to atleast get Tali to talk to him again, 2 years. She was scared.

"You know he cares about you right? That he loves you like the rest of us?"Tali looked at Chan with doubt in her eyes.

"Does he really tho?"

"Tali.." Chan went infont of her and grabbed her hands.

"He really cares about you, do you think the guy will try to make you talk with him for around 2 years for him not to care about you?"

"I- Im just scared that he won't believe me.........that he'll leave."

"Tali if he does ever hurt you, you can always drop him, you are scarily good at that" Channie joked

Tali giggled

"Chan?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm afraid."

"You're afraid of what?"

"I'm afraid my group is gonna do that to me....not believe me, break promises, and leave me."

"Hey they won't, as long as you trust them I believe that it won't happen." Tali was stuck in thought.

"....what if they ask about my family....what do I say?"

"...do you want them to know?" "....no"

"Then tell them your not comfortable talking about your family"

"But what if they feel hurt when they find out you guys know and not them?" Tali said filled with gulit.

Chan sighed for once not knowing how to reassure the girl. Because if he was in the group and found out that a completely different group is closer to their only female member. He would feel sad and bitter. So Chan just hugged the girl to reassure her to gonna be okay.

Tali basked in this moment knowing nothing last forever, then realized something.

"...wait a minute shouldn't this be the other way around?"

"Shh no its fine" "No its not fine switch me"

"Tali its fine"

"No-"

"I swear Talia we are not fighting about this again"

They started bickering about who comforts who then she got a phone call.

She flinched at the sound and cursed in her mind realizing what time it is and how she didnt tell ANYONE she left the house. She turned the phone and sees the ID number as Doyoung. She cursed out loud, she was really hoping it was Taeyong.

"Hey language" Chan joked, Tali just glared at him. She picked up the phone scared if there was gonna be either yelling or a scary calm Doyoung

"Hell-"

"HELLO MY ASS WHERE ARE YOU ITS 1 AM IN THE MORNING AND YOUR NOT BACK HOME YOU MIGHT BE 18 (17) BUT YOUR STILL YOUNG!" Tali cringed.

"Im at the park, I was spending time with an old friend I lost track of time sorry." Tali said sheepishly.

"Its fine just come back home the dreamies were in panick when you didn't come back to the dorms so just go there and make sure your friend takes you there....wait is it a g-"

"Omg look at the time, its getting late thanks for calling me oppa im gonna go now bye!"

"Wai-" Tali cut him off and ended the call. She knew if she said it was a guy they will go all investigative mode and try to find out who the guy is.

Chan smacked the back of her head.

"Ow what was that for?!" Talia whinced while rubbing her head.

"For worrying your members and ending the call early, Talia you should know better." Chan said jokingly, shaking his head and pointing at her.

Tali smacked his finger and made are you serious face at him.

"You can't say anything, rememb-"

"Nope, this is not the time." Chan cut her off putting his hand over her mouth and dragging her off the park to the dreamies dorm.

"We are here thanks for walking me." Tali turned and hugged Chan knowing she won't see him for awhile. Chan just gave her a warm smile.

"No problem anything for our Butterfly." Tali smiled at the nickname. Remembering all times they have been together.

"Thank you for everything Channie, I really appreciate you." Tali said still hugging him looking up at him with this light in her eyes like Chan first saw when he was able to get closer to her. He always cherished that moment because it showed that she trusted him. Her eyes just poured out her emotions, it took time to able to read them but it was all worth it, and he would do it all over again.

"Always, I will keep my promise to you, and to him." He said rubbing her head. Tali's eyes changed when she thought about him, not sad ones more like grateful. Tali let him go and she went inside and waved him goodbye.

She went up the elevator, reminiscing the old times, even though it came to an end she still had part of them left with her as she held her locket in her palm looking at a picture that she cherished so much closing it back again once she was on the floor of the dreamies apartment.

She was at the door preparing herself for either a scolding or affection, probably both.

She unlocked the door and Jaemin tackled her to the ground.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN I WAS WORRIED SICK SOMEONE HAD TAKEN YOU FROM US." Jaemin scolded her while he was squishing her. Then he picked her up and she went back on the ground by the 2 mankaes.

"Why didn't you at least text us" "Yeah I came in your room for cuddles and you weren't there." Chenle pouted while Jisung scolded. Tali giggled but she felt guilty for making them worried.

"Im sorry I didn't mean too. I was just visiting some friends I haven't seen in awhile." Tali said sheepishly.

"Wow so you left us for them wow." Haechan said with a betrayed face. Tali rolled her eyes at the boy running up to him and hugging him. He was surprised at the contact, Tali at the time wasn't big on skinship so she never really did it herself.

"Don't be a baby, I saw you all this morning and afternoon. I haven't seen them in a long time, how about this we can see a movie in my room for the night hm?" Tali pouted, she didn't want to get scolded.

The boys have never seen Tali act this cute and touchy before. They were loving it.

"Hm? How about we cook and then watch a movie?" Haechan inquired trying to see how long her cuteness will last. Her eyes brightened at the idea she let him go and clapped her hands.

"Yes pleaasee." Tali giggled. Tali was acting her age, which was the first time in forever, they didn't know how. But they were taking advantage of it.

"Lets start cooking, hm?" Jeno said while rubbing Tali's head. Tali looked him and gave him her famous smile that would literally make his hearts burst.

"Come on Tali, help me prepare~" Renjun said while grabbing Tali and gently leading her to the kitchen.

Everyone just stood in place for a couple seconds. Processing what they just witnessed.

"Hyung, what did we just witnessed?" Jisung asked

"I don't know, but I loved every single moment of that." Haechan said, Then Tali popped out with a cute apron on with Renjun behind her smiling at her fondly.

"You guys wanna help?" Tali said cutely, everyone gushed on how adorable was being. They didn't know but when ever she hangs out with Straykids she has this kid like persona come out of her and even afterwards, and thats what they are seeing, she just grew up with Nct and Straykids differently she acts an adult with Nct while Straykids she acts her age maybe a little younger. So when she left Chan she was in a happy mood and that continued to now.

They all looked at each other and then back at Tali.

"Of course Princess."

[hectabdr]

Dragon Raja IV - Chapters 3 & 4 (Abridged)

Hi everyone, continuing with today's chapters, these are centered around Nono and Caesar and their lives after he returned from Japan.

Previous chapters

Chapter 3

Mediterranean Sea, Republic of Malta.

The Island of Frefra is mostly an ecological reserve, there is a white building on top of a natural harbor with luxury yachts and sailing boats. Tourists and locals have always been interested in knowing more about its residents, but the government is very secretive about it. It is well protected against binoculars and often, music can be heard coming from the inside. Girls in white dresses walk around it and they're known as the "Iris girls".

At 5:45 am, a rotating alarm clock started playing a terrible heavy metal song, making its way through fashion magazines and snacks, it ran around the bedroom of Chen Motong, who finally trapped it and took its batteries out.

She slept for another 20 minutes and woke up in a hurry. She had classes to attend. Cooking lessons, Japanese tea ceremonies, British literature and music appreciation, amongst other things. This was the Golden Iris Shuyuan Academy. It was meant to educate Nono on how to live among nobility.

She arrived late at the breakfast table only to realize the other girls were betting on her punctuality. After she accepted Caesar's proposal, he took her to Rome to meet his relatives, some of which were more than 300 years old, they left their cryogenic beds and unexpectedly blessed their marriage (after evaluating her from head to toes). Nono's own family was rich and powerful, known as the Black Prince Group. After both families signed the marriage contract, they agreed to make Nono drop out of Cassell to take a years-long bridal training in the Shuyuan Academy.

During her dancing lessons, a yawning Nono was the only one who couldn't keep up with the rhythm, prompting her teacher to whip her foot.

At her cooking class, she kept eating bits off her dish, leaving almost nothing for the teacher to evaluate.

She managed to succeed on her tea ceremony while her boredom made her toes fight each other behind her back. She was distracted during literature and used her profiling skill to cheat on her analysis of classical music.

She unwillingly started regretting the moment she accepted the marriage proposal, but not because of Caesar, it was all about the life that awaited her. The lessons were relentless and the academy was isolated from the outside world. She didn't sleep enough because she used her Cassell training to sneak out at 10:00 pm to swim by the beach, that was the only time in her day when she felt truly free.

She toyed frequently with her obnoxious alarm clock, it was a gift from her old classmate, Luminous. On her last birthday, he casually carried a backpack with him all day, it was pretty obvious that he was preparing to give her a gift, which he nervously did, and he was the only person who dared to do so, as everyone else felt intimidated by Caesar.

She knew about Luminous's feelings for her. All of the male classmates who liked her could easily fill the whole cafeteria. Luminous was just one of them. She considered herself a passer-by in his life, thinking some girls of his age (like Zero) would be a better match for him. One day he'd mention it as a thing of the past and they would both laugh about it.

She hoped to finish the bridal course in months, but it had already been a year. She brought mostly books but she quickly ran out of things to read.

Suddenly, she realized someone was hiding in her bedroom, right after the cleaning lady left. The intruder took one of her books and a bag from her secret stash of potato chips. She turned off the lights and grabbed a knife, more excited than scared, she searched for the thief.

After finding nothing, she remembered her bathtub, and there he was, asleep with the missing book on his face and a bag of chips in his belly. She punched him in the stomach. A patrolling Nun showed up, concerned, Nono hid the intruder in the tub and pretended to take a bath. If someone found Luminous in her room, they would accuse Nono of having an affair.

The nun searched the whole place with a revolver but couldn't find anyone, before leaving, she had a conversation with Nono about her situation in the academy, specifically her wish to leave. In the lady's words, "Her soul seemed to lag behind her body". Luminous finally understood that she was there to become the perfect bride. When the nun left, Nono scolded him for his presence, she realized he looked different, he was clearly taking care of himself, better dressed, he definitely had a better haircut. He also thought she looked somehow different, more elegant, but exhausted.

His stomach roared, breaking a long awkward silence and she took him out to steal some food for him. They took wine from the cellar, along with some ham and cheese.

-Sister, do you know Johann Chu? -Maybe, was he your boyfriend or did he just owe you money?

Luminous explained his situation to her: he decided to go with the school's psychologist, professor Toyama, who diagnosed him as schizophrenic. Toyama attempted to erase Johann off his memory, but Luminous responded by making a scene and drawing out his desert eagles. He tried to track Johann in everyone else's memories but his missing classmate didn't have many friends.

Anjou couldn't remember him either. Back during Luminous's second year, there was no trial against a Blood Rage user, Frost Gattuso only accused the principal for his terrible administration. The rollercoaster incident happened way after they finished their ride with Shavee. Anjou gave Luminous the location of Chen Motong, telling him to use her profiling ability to find some clues.

However, Nono also believed Luminous had schizophrenia and convinced him to stop his search and look for treatment instead. Luminous lamented his condition and how he couldn't trust the world he lived in anymore, however, despite how enticing it was to forget Johann and go back to the real world, he felt his brother was still out there, waiting to be saved, but everyone forgot about him. Nono couldn't do much for him in his situation.

-Years ago, you were not the president of the Student Union, but a scared boy that I rescued from a theater. Now that you don't trust the world anymore, you came back to me. How many more times do you think I'll be here to save you?

Suddenly, a security guard noticed the candle they lit in the cellar. Nono didn't know how to react, but someone broke a bottle of wine on the guard's head and knocked him down. It was Finger, who informed Luminous that now he was wanted by Cassell, as they thought he was an undercover agent sent by the Dragon Raja.

Apparently, on the same night that Luminous left the college, someone entered the Ice cellar and stole Constantine's skeleton, severely injuring principal Anjou in the process. The only student with such clearance and power was the S-Rank himself.

Agents of the Execution Bureau went looking for Finger in Cuba, so he buried them in a tobacco field, with their heads out, of course.

Nono urged them to understand the seriousness of what it meant to be hunted by the secret party, which essentially made them targets of the whole world. They could leave no traces for Norma to track down. She considered there were three possibilities:

1- Luminous was insane.

2- He was an undercover agent sent by the dragon raja all along.

3- He was the only person in the world who was't hypnotized.

The only being who could be responsible for the third option is the white dragon king. Its skeleton was never recovered. Their only option was to travel with Luminous in secret to track down any trace that Johann might have left in the world before he disappeared.

-I really hope my brother is alive... -True Love! Said Finger and Nono in unison.

Finger then urged them both to leave and "go save the world" but Nono refused to leave. She had a responsibility with her family and with Caesar. As Luminous turned around and started walking, Finger stunned her, urging Luminous to help him carry her outside.

Chapter 4

Caesar Gattuso was sitting down in a church. This was the anniversary of his mother's death, so he wore a suit, drove a Harley Davidson motorcycle on his way there and brought her a bouquet of white flowers.

When he was younger, she bought him a miniature bike, she also loved to see him wearing little suits. Most of Caesar's style was based on her taste, he thought that would please her while she watched him from heaven.

The first time he had been on the Milan cathedral, he was attending her funeral. The ceremony was presided by the pope himself. Knowing of his family's involvement in her death, he poured kerosene on the coffin and lit a fire on the church. The authorities managed to save the historical building and despite of it all, Caesar was still allowed inside every year to mourn Gulweig, (as long as he wasn't carrying any dangerous chemicals).

Parsi Gattuso arrived in a car to give him some urgent news, his wife Chen Motong had gone missing. He brought with himself a letter that she wrote for her fiancé, it expressed Chen's dissatisfaction with her new life, asking him to give her some time.

Caesar immediately realized the poetic letter was fake, since Nono wouldn't bother to express herself in such a way. According to him, Nono would just write "Caesar, I'm leaving" In a napkin and leave it on top of her bed. The letter was probably written by a narcissistic person like Finger.

However, this left him reflecting on Nono's true feelings towards her future, wondering if all he did was capturing a bird (that he initially admired for its freedom) just to lock it in a cage.

Far away in Cassell College, the elders of the Secret Party reunited for an emergency meeting, the first one since 1961. Many famous individuals that once shaped the course of history were in it, still alive after faking their deaths to cover up their slow aging. In the principal's chair, Leonardo Flammel, the vice-principal and a direct descendant of Nicholas Flammel sat down and started the meeting.

He welcomed EVA, Norma's war personality with 140,000 times her processing power, and asked her to project a life-like hologram of Anjou's assassination attempt.

According to the recording, the previous night, the principal intended to access the ice cellar, but he stopped meters before reaching the entrance. He looked behind and said:

-Is that you?

In a fraction of a second, his access card had left his pocket after something cut through it. His entire body started bleeding from multiple cuts to his skin. He had no time to react and tried to use the card as his weapon, since the attacker didn't give him enough time (even using Time Zero) to draw his dragon slaying knife. It was guessed that his opponent could use Time Zero as well, but was more skilled in combat than the principal himself.

The security system identified the situation in time and called the police and medical assistance, otherwise, Anjou would have died. The conversation quickly turned to Luminous's possible involvement in the situation, Flammel had a conversation about it with "Mr. Beowulf", who was also present.

The legendary Beowulf was not an individual but a family of dragon slayers. They had a strong attraction to dragon blood, for them it was almost like drugs to an addict.

They were the most fierce dragon hunters in history, pouring the blood of their prey and drinking it after every successful kill. Their newborns were poisoned with dragon blood and only those who survived the process were considered worthy of living. Their latest descendants were almost dragon-like in appearance, but they were unlikely to turn into death servitors. Whenever that happened, the family killed them immediately.

Considering there's an imminent crisis ahead, the leader of the family showed himself in the table for the first time in a hundred years. That's because he strongly opposed the establishment of Cassell College, since "a true dragon slayer can only be born in the battlefield".

Back in the day, he led the "Action team" of the secret party, which eventually became the Execution Bureau. Initially he was expected to lead it, before he expressed his dissatisfaction with the college. Compared to the Action Team of the old days, the cruel Bureau is almost a charity.

Beowulf immediately started discussing Luminous's background. His parents were apparently in the records of the Execution Bureau, but their achievements are not registered. They never reported themselves and their location is currently unknown.

Caesar Gattuso was responsible for the defeat of Norton, Abdullah for Fenrir and the Gattuso's orbital weapon for the White King. Luminous was present during all of these events, but his actions are not registered either. He theorizes that Luminous is in fact a dragon, taking advantage of the war to slay his fellow kings. Since his use of Yanling was unknown and Time Zero belonged to the King of Sky and wind, the most mysterious of the dragon kings, the elders came to the conclusion that this dragon was none other than Luminous himself.

As soon as Beowulf questioned the absence of Frost Gattuso, Pompeii himself made an entrance by making EVA project his hologram on an empty chair. The man was semi-naked as multiple women applied sunscreen on him, annoying everyone on the room, specially Beowulf. Pompeii focused on the importance of Constantine's skeleton, since everyone else seemed more focused on Anjou's assassination attempt. Those bones contained the power of the king of bronze and fire, who was conformed by twins, so the college kept Constantine's skeleton, while the Gattuso family kept Norton's. In that very moment, Frost was transporting their half of the dragon king to an underground vault in the bank of Rome.

Pompeii linked Frost to the call, who was now 120 meters underground and descending. The vault was heavily protected against Time Zero users.

Just as they were discussing the security measures, the loud sound of an alarm silenced everyone in the room, when the members of the meeting asked about its purpose, they quickly realized that it wasn't coming from Cassell, it came from the elevator in Rome. The intruder was in the vault.

Frost was instructed to forget the original plan and leave with the bones of Norton. His bodyguards quickly mutated into dragon-like creatures to protect him. Corrosive acid and bombs were released as the elevator rose back to the surface, but there was something heating up the place and it was greater than any bomb they detonated.

Every guard stayed behind to guard the doors, hoping to witness the intruder. Finally, one of the doors was blown away. In the fire, there seemed to be dragons and snakes dancing. The mummy-like figure in white robes slowly walked towards Frost, as he exclaimed:

-It that... you? Is it really you? It is you!

EVA instructed him to step back, as he had no chance of winning against this "reaper", Frost took out his phone and transferred control of the vault to EVA before the strange creature reached him. Suddenly, the camera was broken and the visuals lost. The sound of the doors being blown up one by one was heard. Beowulf commanded EVA to close the sole entrance of the vault, which could easily resist ten-million-ton nuclear weapons, (Not enough to contain certain dragons).

Believing this to somehow signal the end of the world, the council awaited quietly. Investors in Rome were ecstatic when the value of gold suddenly increased (Since one third of the monetary gold in the world was just destroyed). EVA used the surrounding cameras to confirm the worst, Frost Gattuso was dead, crystallized by the extreme heat. Their diamond-like statues were left behind and soon collapsed, turning to dust.

The possibility of the resurrection of the black King soon reached their heads, its return would signal the end of humanity.

Caesar soon appeared in the room. He was named the new representative of the Gattuso family, so he ordered EVA to kick his father Pompeii out of the meeting. He defended his education in Cassell in front of Beowulf, saying it made him prouder than his last name ever would. He explained that this dragon was more dangerous than the others due to its ability to understand humans, their organizations and its capability to hide among them. It was more similar to humans than it was to dragons, which was its more terrifying feature.

He impressed Beowulf, specially when he ordered to investigate anyone who had come into contact with his uncle, since he recognized his killer. He then brought up Luminous. EVA explained that his unprecedented progress in combat skills was due to his participation in the Nibelungen project. It allows Luminous to surpass the dragon blood limit without turning into a death servitor. He was an artificial emperor, like Chisei Gen from Japan. Beowulf was enraged, since he considered it was a waste of resources to use Nibelungen on such a weak student instead of picking one of their A-Rank fighters and ordered EVA to put all of her computing power in finding Luminous and Finger. However, EVA found no records of Finger in her database. Everyone concluded that he deleted himself.

Since Luminous already worked for the Executive Department and therefore knew how to hide from them, Caesar proposed to employ a different type of hunter, specifically the ancient creatures that the college kept under the ice cellar, originally intended to be used against the black king. The elders voted in favor, but even Beowulf was frightened by the idea of employing them. Flammel suddenly stood up and contacted Finger, warning him of the impeding threat. Moments later, a veteran knocked him down.

Parsi had noticed a change in Caesar. In years prior, he'd make childish requests, like asking him to empty a restaurant because he wanted to drink tea in peace. It looked like he was never going to grow up. Ever since he came back from Japan, he was far more mature, taking bigger responsibilities and doing most of the work by himself. He asked Caesar about his friendship with Luminous, specifically if he wasn't worried about the beasts hurting him.

-I don't want to harm Luminous, but he made a mistake, he shouldn't have involved Nono.

He seemed extremely silent, stopping in his way out to stare at a decorative kimono, one that he brought from Japan as a souvenir, he was wearing it the day he arrived. He wondered about the weaknesses of the dragons, if Constantine was Norton's, who was Shavee's?

He felt like he was forgetting something.

[kevinwastaken]

okay so idk if anyones done this yet, but this has been in my mind ever since i got into omori lmao

so uhHhHhhh heres my idea for an identity v omori crossover! just because i think it would be neat

this is going to be a super long post (probably), so if you want to read it, just hit read more or whatever

i also want to say that some character choices are gonna be taken from my friend, @/kami.rikki on instagram. but she didnt think as hard on these as i did so like idk

there Will be spoilers for omori, so just be warned of that lmao

so as i said before, this has been on my mind for a HOT minute. and i think it would be a cool collab

for starters, this crossover will be split up (as is every other crossover) in two parts, with one hunter two survivors. i know essence usually have one hunter three survivors, but theres not enough characters for that, and six can be split up evenly sooo

i was thinking that the skins could be like the ones from the persona 5 crossover. like, they can be “awakened” in a sense. the base costumes will be the dream world versions of everyone, while the awakened costumes will be the real world versions. i wasnt here for the persona 5 crossover, so idk how many of those spirit things you had to collect, but i Do know that omoris spirit things could be. uh

well actually i dont know. initially i was thinking lightbulbs, like the one in white space, but the lightbulb isnt too important in the game i dont think? and im not sure about clams either. i know theyre dream world currency, but??

oh actually, maybe you can collect Something to awaken the costumes. because something is a representation of the truth in sunnys mind, and by awakening the costumes, you get to see the characters as their real selves. yeah lets go with that, you collect something from the essence

i swear ive been thinking this out shut up

the hunter costumes wont be awakened though, and i have a reason for this

anyway

part one

the characters that will be present in part one are sunny, basil, and aubrey. i chose them first because. ofc, sunnys the protag, basils his best friend and helped cover up maris death hes important to the story but anyway, and aubrey is <<33 yuh

so heres whos going to be who:

sunny/omori as wu chang

so let me preface this by saying that im not a hunter main. never have been, never will be. and ive never played wu chang. but i swear thisll make sense, im doing research

wu chang is actually composed of two characters, with two different stats: xie, the white guard, and fan, the black guard. i cant tell the difference while im playing, considering the fact that my ass is either running away or decoding. but theres a difference i looked it up

sunny would be the white guard. xie is a fast chaser, but has slow attack speed. ie, slow hits, slow pallet breaking, that stuff. this reflects how sunny is in the real world. he can run, yes, but hes still physically weak due to being locked in his house for four years and spending all his time sleeping. he would be better for chasing than attacking

omori would be the black guard. fan is the opposite of xie, having slow chasing speed but faster attack speed. this reflects in omori. omori is Very apathetic, and really, i dont think he would care to chase anybody unless it was for a quest. though, i guess killing survivors Is a quest for hunters, but. anyway

in battle, omori is a good fighter. his attacks are strong, (although not as strong as say. aubrey or kel. but who am i to say, the playthrough i watched had omori constantly sad) out of him and sunny, omori would be the attacker. so theres my choice for them

the umbrella can probably be switched for a knife. maybe an elongated knife. im not entirely sure, but i know the umbrella wont stay as an umbrella

basil as kurt frank

so i know what youre thinking. why is basil “the explorer??” hear me out this is actually a really good idea

the true best choice would be emma, since shes the gardener, but idv doesnt like giving characters skins of the opposite gender if you know what i mean. anyway

basil isnt a fighter. hes an assist, yes, but that was only for a crime four years ago. not my point, he wouldnt want to be in the action

i think he’d be a really good decoder. especially a good kurt

i originally wanted him to be prisoner, out of no bias whatsoever (/j) but kurt is a good fit for him

basil hides. he hides from things. he hides from the truth just like sunny, and he hides from others. albeit he still goes outside

i will not lie, i have a very personal grudge against kurt players. i dont want them to have anything because every kurt main ive come across was toxic to me specifically. but anyway

so one of kurts abilities is that he can go smaller to run around undetected and/or hide. i find this perfect for basil, because. yknow. hiding

his other ability is to find password pages and use them to decode ciphers faster. i think this would be funny because basils existence in headspace leads sunny to remembering the truth about maris death. i mean, if he werent in headspace, omori and the gang would continue going on adventures like nothing is wrong, so basil sort of speeds up the acknowledging process

this sounds dumb actually. but it makes sense in my head

anyway, the book would be turned into basils photo album, and he wouldnt have a backpack like kurt does. theres my answer

and finally,

aubrey as margaretha zelle

aubrey was actually really hard to pick out. none of the female survivors really fit her, aside from maybe coord, but i dont know what her gun would turn into. i will admit that her section wont be as detailed as basil or sunnys. but anyway my choice is with margie

aubrey imo would be a good kiter. she has strong stats all around, so i feel as if she’d be a great fit for margie. not to mention her speed boost when falling from large heights, which would make her a faster runner and harder to chase if used right. aubrey would be more physically fit since shes a fighter and seems to do a lot of stuff with the hooligans, which also helps prove that she should be a kiter. ANYWAY

so margie has these music boxes that can mess with the hunter, right? some of aubreys attacks can mess with enemies iirc. soooo theyre kind of similar in a way, arent they?

im not exactly sure what the music box can be turned into. maybe a small piano? aubrey cares about mari a lot, and the reason shes so pissed at everyone and rebellious is because she felt like everyone had forgotten about mari and moved on with their lives. so the music box could be a tribute to mari

i dont know how many changes they made with ann tamakis costume in the persona crossover, other than cosmetics for the skin only, so im not sure if the music box was changed at all. i can dream though

in the case that its changed, the blue box could be the song from the playground in headspace (yknow the one) while the red box could be the final duet song. but just with the piano, not the violin

essence

because yes, i thought about the essence too

of course, aside from the skins, there will be other stuff in the essence too. so itll be as follows:

for portraits, theyre going to be the neutral battle portraits from headspace. aside from basil and mari, who do not have battle portraits. theirs will just be of their neutral expressions with the neutral emotion backround behind them. i would add pictures, but the character pictures add up to six, so i’d run out of room before reaching part two

for graffiti, im not really sure. maybe everyones overworld sprites in headspace? along with maybe one of Something

for accessories, i actually have an idea of what thesell be. theyre going to be character exclusive accessories, just like how tpn did theirs

for aubrey, she’ll have mr plantegg. i was thinking of maybe having her bat as an accessory, but

OH ACTUALLY her bat could be a shop accessory that changes the music boxes!! probably an a tier tbh

anyway, the essence accessory for her is mr plantegg, and its there strictly for cosmetic purposes. for basil, he’d get either a pair of garden shears, or a basil plant, since yknow. his names basil. this is also for cosmetic purposes

they all are. i should say that now, the accessories are all cosmetic except aubreys a tier shop bat

finally, for sunny, im not entirely sure what to give him. i could give him a knife, sure, but then he’d have two knives because of the umbrella. maybe a steak? or a pair of red hands? im torn on this

and that concludes part one

part two

**PLEASE BE AWARE THAT MARIS IMAGE HAS THE PHOTO FROM THE TRUTH ALBUM WHERE SHES HANGING FROM THE TREE. IF YOU DONT WANT TO SEE IT, SKIP PAST IT. SHES THE FIRST CHARACTER IM PUTTING ON HERE

part two consists of mari, hero, and kel. do not separate them </3

here are my character choices:

mari as yidhra

so i know yidhra may seem like a weird choice. i originally thought of maybe mary, but this makes sense to me

yidhra herself will be mari. im not sure which version, but even though i have real world mari in the photo, maybe headspace mari would be better. nobody can see her anyway lmao

yidhras servants will be, again, mari, but she looks as she did when basil and sunny hung her on the tree. her hairs covering her face, with her right eye being visible. kind of like the girl from the ring, but anyway yeah

yidhra is the dream witch. she haunts your dreams and she haunts mine when i go against her. maris death haunts everyone, especially sunny and basil (whom know the truth of what happened,) so this just seems like a perfect fit

her death is “leeched” onto everyones minds (pun entirely intended), so attaching herself to survivors with only her death appearance visible is mmmm

instead of an axe, maybe her weapon can be the jump rope she was hung from? and it can be used as a whip? that makes the most sense to me idk

im not good at explaining things, but if you were to see dream witch in a match, youd know how good this would work

also brings a new meaning to “my thoughts will follow you into your dreams” HELLO

hero as norton campbell

so hero was kind of hard for me to pick too. i wanted him to be a support character, but looking around, there are. barely any that would work. my closest choice was victor, but?? the letters???? they dont correlate

hero doesnt give me kiter vibes, but nortons good at rescues too, as long as youre in an area with obstacles. and usually, when someone dies in battle, hero can make life jam to revive the fallen party member

nortons magnets are used to either bring the hunter closer to him, or push the hunter away. both can be used to stun with obstacles. while hero doesnt have any stun attacks that i can remember, he does have charming abilities that can be used to take damage for the other party members. so similar stuff? idk

i guess his magnets can be turned into chocolate chip cookies, since thats what he uses to heal everyone. if not cookies, then i dont know

oh actually one of nortons abilities is called “attract.” thats so funny if you put hero as him lmao

heros section is kind of short, my bad

kel as william ellis

come on. who else were you expecting me to use? its the basketball man as the football man

while kel is a fighter in battle, he can also be used as a backup healer. aubrey is the main fighter of the group, and hero is the main healer. so hes kind of a catch-all in a sense

kels an athlete. he plays basketball. williams an athlete. he plays football. need i say more

im not gonna lie, this is kind of a don tpn situation where it just Makes Sense that kel would be william

the football will probably be replaced with either a rubber ball or a basketball, depending on which skin youre using. the former is for headspace kel, the latter for real world kel

the buffs and debuffs for william makes sense on kel too. kel would probably have trouble with something as (probably) complex as the cipher machines, and the struggle and vaulting buffs show off his athleticisim

same with the football, using rush to rescue is such a kel thing to do

essence

for part two, there will be about the same things as part one

the portraits will be the neutral battle portraits, this time with the real world counterparts of everyone. basil and maris will be their neutral expressions on the neutral battle background. though, since mari doesnt have Real real world portraits, i guess they could use the one from the one i used on the mari yidhra picture

for graffiti, it can be the real world overworld sprites

in terms of accessories, theyre still cosmetic and character exclusive. maris can be the white egret orchid, since thats the flower that represents her. heros can be a spatula, as thats his weapon of choice in headspace. for kel, im not sure. hes using the ball as a weapon so???

maybe he can get a cactus, because thats his assigned plant

in terms of shop items, i think i know the perfect thing

mewo as a pet

mewo my beloved. nobody could ever forget you

mewo would be a hunter pet. she would be cool for survs too i guess, but considering both her owners are hunters.....

mewo would probably follow the hunter around, not really doing much. i think it would be Extremely funny though if every time a survivor was chaired, she just chilled next to them in the pose shes always in in white space

thats pretty much it. if you got this far, thank you!! i spent like two hours writing this whole thing out LMAO damn

[lunariasilver]

The Virtuoso - 4. Meteor City IV

Masterlist

Previous / Next

A/N I'm sorry guys, the ending of this chapter kicked my fucking ass. I've been sitting on it being almost done forever.

After the troupe left, I started composing a song for them. I wasn't sure why. It wasn't like I was going to be able to play it for them but...it provided me with some peace. It reminded me of them. It wasn't just them that playing my violin reminded me of, though.

Every time I looked at it I remembered my grandfather. My mother, my father...my brothers. It made me want to tear it apart.

I wouldn't, though. My father always told me I was a sentimental fool, and he was right.

The music it made was nice, at least.

Inspiration had struck me in the middle of the street and I was working on a random stanza. Eventually I was going to have to put all of these parts together, but for now I just kept coming up with more pieces. I couldn't help but wonder if they would ever fit together.

I was interrupted by a familiar face. I couldn't quite place it at first, though.

"Give me your violin!" She demanded, standing in a threatening manner.

I stared at her blankly.

"Now, or- or I'll kill you!" She continued.

Oh, that's right. Zara. The girl I made lead me into the part of the city that people actually lived in.

"Why?" I asked. I was still positioned to play as if her presence made no difference to me. It didn't really.

"I'm- I'm gonna sell it!" Zara yelled. The woman was practically shaking. How tedious.

I tilted my head to the side. "To who?"

"Um-"

"Nobody here would ever buy this. Nobody can play it." I paused. "Why do you want it?"

Zara faltered, lowering her fists and looking at the ground. "Y-your music is beautiful. I thought that...maybe I could make it."

It remained silent. She was still trembling. She probably thought I was going to kill her. I was considering it. She did threaten me, after all...

"Would you like me to teach you?" I offered, surprising even myself.

-

-

-

After that, more and more people began approaching me asking for lessons. They started trading with me for them.

It was almost like I was an actual musician holding classes. After a while, people started trading violins to people. I assumed they bought them with whatever money they made working for the mafia.

I saw the mafia often. Well, their runners. It was strange how many jobs they were doing recently. They'd come to me a few times to ask me to handle a job for them. I obviously could never complete them, but I could at least point them in the direction of somebody who could. After the fourth time of me doing that, they started to come to me first. They even payed me. Jenny was no good to me, so I gave them a list of things that would work as payment.

I couldn't wait to discuss my new books with Chr-

Oh.

Right.

-

-

-

I was in the middle of teaching a class when I felt a familiar presence. It had been two months since I had last felt it. I almost dropped my violin I whipped around so fast-

"Chrollo?"

"I hadn't even said hello yet." Chrollo said, seemingly amused by my quick response to his presence. "What's this?"

My class was unnerved, but seemed to trust me to protect them from the former resident. "I'm teaching them to play the violin."

"How domestic."

I pursed my lips, trying to hide how truly pleased I was to see him. "I have to do something while you're not here." I then turned to face my class. "An old friend of mine is visiting. Class is over for today. Your next lesson will be free. I apologize."

They grumbled a bit, but they knew better than to kick up a fuss. When they were gone I turned to face Chrollo.

He was still smiling. "I brought you some books and sheet music."

I wasn't quite sure what to say to him, and I think he could sense that.

"I also brought food."

And those were the magic words. "What food did you bring? Is it cake? Cookies? Pasta?" I asked, advancing on him quickly.

His smile seemed to grow warmer at this. "You'll have to find out."

I narrowed my eyes. "Let's eat now."

"So impatient."

"Come on!" I demanded, grabbing him by his free arm and dragging him with me. When we got to my "residence" I paused for a brief moment.

"I-" I started, staring at the ground for a moment.

"Yes?"

I shook my head before dragging him inside. "I'm gonna have to read the books before you leave. So we can discuss them."

I didn't think you'd come back.

-

-

-

I was less sad when Chrollo left again. After all, this time I knew he'd be back. All of them would be back. They had no reason to, but they would. Just to visit me.

How strange.

The song that I had been composing with them in mind was so much easier now. I could hear how the puzzle fit together. It all started making sense to me. It had to be perfect, though. I couldn't count the amount of times that I had scrapped an entire section. Chrollo had given me a notebook that I was using to write it all down. I couldn't risk losing any of what I had already come up with. Maybe one day I would play it for them all. I knew Paku at least would like to hear it.

Time kept passing me by. Members of the troupe visited from time to time, usually by themselves. Sometimes they visited in pairs, but never all at once. That was fine with me.

Any time they got a new member somebody came to introduce them to me. Apparently Chrollo wanted there to be a total of thirteen members. I wasn't really sure why. (I mean, I had an idea, but he had never actually told me.) It kind of stung that I couldn't be a member, but I understood why. What use could I be to them if I couldn't leave the city?

Still, they clearly cared about me, and that was all I really needed.

Meteor City was starting to feel more like home. My thoughts didn't turn to Zoldyck Manor nearly as often as they used to. The people here were all fond of me. Or at the very least they knew better than to outwardly express their distaste of me.

I didn't "take care of people's problems" as often as I used to, since I was so busy with my classes, but I was still willing. Not to mention I had begun to serve as a liaison for the mafia. Honestly, aside from the complete and utter lack of modern amenities, Meteor City was quite comfortable.

I did miss having a chef, though. I still couldn't quite grasp the concept of cooking. Nobody had ever explained it to me. And it wasn't like I had an abundance of seasoning here.

....I missed good food so much.

-

-

-

Apparently the Troupe had gotten pretty busy as of late, trying to establish themselves in the greater world. They didn't have the time to visit me like they used to. It was okay though, I knew they hadn't forgotten about me. They still sent me messages from time to time, so I at least knew that they were thinking of me.

I tried not to think about how much I wanted to join them in whatever it was they were up to. That line of thought was dangerous. It might make me do something reckless.

I was laying on my pathetic mattress staring at a scarf that Paku had gotten me. It wasn't the actual scarf, it was a copy that I had conjured up. It had been quite some time since she had visited me. I missed her. I really wanted to see her again.

I closed my eyes, sighing heavily. Suddenly, it felt like I was falling, which was impossible.

My eyes shot open and I was standing in an unfamiliar bedroom. It was opulently decorated.

"What the fuck?" I muttered, looking around before I spotted a familiar face.

"Paku?" I questioned. She didn't look at me. She was currently cooking.

"Paku!" I tried again. Still no answer. "Pukunoda!" I exclaimed. It seemed she finally heard me as she whipped around to face me. Her gun was already drawn. She lowered it upon recognizing me, a perplexed expression on her face.

"Ivela? How did you get here?" She asked.

I looked around. "I have no idea. I was just holding the scarf you gave me and thinking about seeing you and then I was here." I shrugged at her. I had no real explanation.

Paku paused before nodding. "Ah. It must be your specialist ability."

"I'm not a specialist." I stated, raising an eyebrow at her.

She furrowed her eyebrows at me. "But you are."

That is not what my parents told me. "I must have developed a specialist ability, I guess." I was a conjurer.

"...I suppose." She said, seemingly unconvinced. "You'll have to figure out its limitations yourself."

I nodded. "I wouldn't expect you to have any insight."

I stayed and talked with her for a long while, quickly discovering that it didn't seem to have any kind of time restraint. That was good to know.

I figured out that going back was done much the same way as getting here.

I spent a lot of time figuring out my ability, which I decided not to give a name to. It seemed to tie into my conjuration ability quite nicely. I figured I'd just call it a part of "Gift Box."

In my defense I named my ability when I was young.

I found that I had to have been given a gift from somebody in order to visit with them, and I had to have chosen to use that particular gift within my Gift Box ability.

All of my Gift Box restrictions applied. When I was visiting someone, they couldn't see or feel me until I said their name. Their first or last name would suffice, I discovered, but it couldn't be a nickname.

Only they could see or feel me when I was visiting them. And I couldn't attack them, just the same as they couldn't attack me. I hadn't quite tested the theory on how my ability differentiated between an attack and innocent touching. That required further experimentation.

It was nice, actually. I could still see everyone without ever having to leave.

I could even see Killua.

He thought I was an imaginary friend.

I even checked up on my parents and grandfather from time to time. They seemed to be doing well, but I wasn't expecting them to be suffering. I was always careful to never make them aware of my presence, however. They didn't need to know what I was capable of. My luck they'd forbid it.

The time between the visits from the troupe grew ever larger, but it didn't really matter since I could visit whenever I wanted! I saw them all the time! It wasn't quite the same as seeing them in person, though. Apparently I felt different to them. Every time I visited Uvo he would throw something at my head. It would always just sail harmlessly through me. It was usually a can of beer.

He always looked so disappointed that I hadn't caught it. I think he was upset because now he couldn't drink the beer. (Cause it was all shaken up.)

The last time he visited the city he brought a keg.

That was a good time.

I barely thought of returning to Zoldyck Manor anymore.

-

-

-

It was almost like no time at all had passed before it was the second anniversary of my arrival to Meteor City. It was strange. This place was supposed to be a punishment, but it felt like anything but.

Which, admittedly, didn't make me feel as good as it should.

It wasn't like I had been falsely accused. I deserved to be punished.

I shook those thoughts away. It was better not to focus on them. The present was so much more pleasant than the past.

I hadn't been expecting it, but...the entire troupe came to visit me. I couldn't quite figure out why. It seemed like a strange thing to do.

I appreciated it, though.

Everyone around me was talking and laughing. I didn't know what about. Try as I might, I couldn't pay attention. I was too busy wishing it could be like this all the time.

I was too busy wondering what it would be like to really be a part of the Phantom Troupe.

I was too caught up in the realization that sitting here with all of them felt right in a way being with my actually family had never.

"When is your birthday, Ivela?"

I blinked. Chrollo was looking at me expectantly. Actually, they all were. I assume they had been talking about birthdays before and I realized they had no idea when mine was.

I made a split second decision.

"Today, actually. July 8th." The day I came to Meteor City. I didn't know why, but the day I was born a Zoldyck didn't feel like the right answer anymore.

The troupe were immediately in an uproar.

"Why didn't you tell us?!"

That seemed to be a sentiment shared by them all.

"Sorry, sorry." I said sheepishly.

"It's just a good thing we had a gift for you anyway!" Uvo exclaimed.

I narrowed my eyes. "Gift?"

"Hey! You weren't supposed to tell her that yet!" Nobu yelled.

"Uvo!" Chrollo said harshly.

The others also admonished him.

"We were gonna give it to her anyway!" Uvo defended.

Paku sighed. "The plan was to give it to her when we left. But I suppose now we don't have a choice."

I was beginning to think they liked giving me gifts because they felt bad for me, being cooped up here. That didn't bother me as much as it should have, though. Maybe people should feel a little bad for me. I have to bathe in a dirty river.

"I'm waiting with bated breath." I said blankly.

"We're gonna wipe that look off your face." Machi vowed. "Close your eyes."

I did as requested. If it isn't food I'm gonna be pissed-

I almost snickered at my own joke.

A moment later, I was told to open my eyes. Chrollo was standing in front of me holding a violin. At first glance it was nothing special. I was confused. I already had a violin, I didn't need-

Wait.

My eyes widened as I carefully took the violin from him. It was a Strandivari Violin.

Back when the world was my oyster, (so long as I obeyed,) I had taken a particular interest in valuable violins, for obvious reasons. This one in particular was...

Insane.

I looked at Chrollo with my eyes wide, and turned my gaze to the other members. They were all staring at me.

This was literally the most valuable violin in the world. This violin was...perfection.

I couldn't believe they'd stolen this for me.

Whenever my family had given me gifts, they'd always been practical. Any gifts that weren't murder related weren't gifts at all. They were rewards.

A dagger. A bottle of poison. A blade hidden within a bracelet.

Nothing they ever gave me was to create. Every 'gift' I received from them was a tool meant to help me do whatever they wanted me to. Nothing was ever chosen just because I might like it.

In contrast, the troupe had always brought me things that made them think of me. They brought me books. They brought me food, sheet music, scarves, clothes. Things to make me more comfortable.

Things to make me happy.

Things to make me smile.

"Ivela?" I heard Chrollo ask.

I blinked, registering that my eyes had started to well up. I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my eyes.

"Do you like it?" He asked softly.

I stepped back and regarded the whole troupe, as opposed to just Chrollo.

They were all staring at me.

I stared back blankly, before I smiled warmly. "I love it."

The uproar was immediate.

"What a pretty smile!" (I still hate Shalnark.)

"Ivela can smile?!?!"

"I DIDN'T THINK SHE COULD!!"

"You guys haven't seen her smile?" That one was Chrollo.

"You have??!?!?!"

I just kept smiling at the chaos I had caused, waiting for it to settle down. If anything, my smile was only growing wider.

I adored these people.

I snickered as the chaos only grew. They were being completely ridiculous. It was just a smile.

I pursed my lips and turned away from the Troupe. They quieted down immediately as I positioned my new violin on my shoulder.

"So. Do you guys want to hear a song?"

I didn't wait for a response, instead choosing to force them to listen to me play the song I'd written for them.

8 years passed mostly uneventfully.

After that first birthday celebration, the trend of me seeing the troupe in person less and less continued, although they all came for my birthday every year. Or...they did. Before my father came. Before he killed a member on my birthday.

(To be fair, he was unaware that it was my birthday. But still. To hell with him.)

I liked the girl he killed. She was kind.

He and Chrollo fought. My father didn't stick around to finish the fight. Of course he didn't. Chrollo wasn't his target.

I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even let my father see me.

After that, it was decided that the Troupe having a regular day where they're all in one place was a bad idea, even if it was only once a year.

I still saw them, but those get-togethers that I had so cherished were long gone. I started to get a little scrappy with everyone that I could. I had to be the strongest Zoldyck. At least for now. My training regimen was intense.

I met many people over the years, although only two of them were particularly memorable. They all inevitably left or died any way. Aside from those two, the only people I bothered to remember were my violin students.

I remembered a girl that I trained. She grew to be quite strong. So strong that when a butler from the Zoldyck estate came looking for a new apprentice, I sent her off with them.

Cruel, perhaps, but it was what she wanted. Besides, the family never did much to the butlers. They wouldn't treat her the way they'd treated me. She'd be fine.

The other....well. Ging was...well. Um. Hm.

He wasn't someone I liked to think about.

Some of my violin students managed to get out of Meteor City and make something of themselves.

Or at least I hoped they had. I only really knew that they had left to go join an orchestra or something. I try not to think about them either.

No, I have to stay focused. I have to keep running towards my goal.

I'm going to get out of Meteor City.

A/N

Okay guys once again I am so sorry. That birthday scene was something I had a very specific plan in mind for, and executing that was a struggle. (I'm pretty happy with it.) Plus I'm doing the school thing again, so...that isn't helping with writing time. But I'm not going on another insane hiatus! I promise.

Anyway, here we are! Next chapter we start the real story. Only took 5 chapters to get there, counting the prologue. Hope you guys liked the Meteor City Arc! IT WAS A LOT

Also, Ivela's violin is based (obviously) off of Stradivarius Violins. Her's in particular would be this world's equivalent of the Messiah Stradivarius. That's right guys the Troupe went all out.

They said "If we're stealing Ivela a violin, it's gonna be a VIOLIN."

Previous / Next

[mrsbhandari]

Permafrost

a/n: hi!! ive recently gotten past my block a little bit so ive been able to write more. this is a sequel to Wilt, and i’ll be writing more for this short unplanned series soon!! 

words: 1.3k

warnings: language, awkwardness

summary: he’s home for the holidays, and boy is it cold.

#

It was three in the afternoon when Ajay passed the sign reading “Welcome to Cedar Cove!”, and it was around 3:05 when he pulled into his parents’ driveway, looking the exact same from when he had last visited a few months ago. He hadn’t told anyone but his family about that last visit, but everyone was sure to find out about his current one. He was half excited and half dreading it. Before he got out, he heaved a sigh and tightened his grip on the steering wheel, steeling himself for the inevitability of having to face his friends who mostly decided to stay in Cedar Cove, and even the ones who didn’t still returning home for the holidays. 

His suitcase was light in his hands, a testament to the fact that he always packed light. A small flashback to the London trip left as soon as it came, centered on a blonde ponytail and a bright smile. Fuck, it’s been a year and a half. Get over her, he scolded himself and sucked his teeth, choosing to focus instead on the faded  yellows and dull oranges of the dead leaves lining the cement path to his door, adorned with a small note. 

AT GOLDEN GRIDDLE. JOIN US WHEN YOU’RE SETTLED. YOU KNOW WHERE THE KEY IS! :)

Ajay let out a bitter laugh. Of course it’s the diner. Finding the key under the mat, he set to work getting inside and to his room, both pleased and uncomfortable at how untouched it was. Rather than immediately start unpacking, he dug around in the memories of what felt like his past life, full of pictures and gifts he couldn’t bear to bring with him when he went to New York. His side of the dorm room was bare, but he figured that it was better than filling every inch of his new life with his old one, featuring a girl who probably hated him. He sucked in a breath as that truth came to the front of his mind. Nope, definitely hates me. 

The breakup had been sad but swift, since Ajay left the very next day. He never considered himself to be an asshole, but upon watching her weakly beat her fists against his chest as she sobbed against his shirt while he just stood there silently, taking it without a word, he knew that she was going to go home and cut up all the pictures of him that previously cluttered her walls. His legs felt weak as he walked over to his own relationship shrine, a collection of movie tickets, pictures, and notes shared between them that he had never gotten the chance to take down. A music box she gifted him gathered dust on his desk, so he blew it off and wound it up, allowing the light, tinkling notes to play as he placed his clothes back into empty drawers. It was 3:25 when he finished, grabbing his phone from his nightstand and shutting off the light to leave. 

It had been months since he’d visited Cedar Cove, but as he drove down the streets he’d grown up on, it seemed that the only thing that changed was the leaves on the trees. The closer he drove to the diner, the more he felt the anticipation and hope that maybe...something else was different. 

The parking lot was far more packed than he ever remembered it being, even when teenagers stormed the place after plays and football games. The spot he pulled into was facing the diner, and in the late afternoon sun, he sat in his car and watched the people sitting in the booths through the windows. He spotted his mom, Jim, and Mohit sitting in a booth, his little brother laughing loudly at something his stepfather said. Ajay glanced up and felt his breath catch in his throat. 

She changed her work hairstyle, electing to have it in a messy braid that reached down her back. The uniforms had changed, too, now consisting of a simple checkerboard T-shirt rather than the previous solid red. Desperate to keep a low profile the last time he visited Cedar Cove, he refused to even pass by the diner; now he wanted to know everything he’d missed out on because of his pride. Everyone else in the diner was facing away from him, so he couldn’t pick out anyone that could possibly know him. Taking another deep breath, he turned off his car and made his way into the restaurant. 

The bell over the door rang obnoxiously as he entered, signaling an arrival he wished to keep quiet. He kept his head down as he walked to wear his family was seated, but quickly looked up after everyone who was facing away from him turned around at once. 

“SURPRISE!” a chorus of voices shouted, making him wince as his eyes traveled from face to face. His family was the first group of people to say hi, but they quickly went back to their seats to allow the onslaught of hellos from his friends, who gathered around him expectantly. Erin stepped forward and threw herself into a hug, swaying back and forth to prolong it. 

“We missed you, stranger!” she said, laughing at the choir of agreement that erupted from his other friends. Clint and Graham held hands as they waved hello, indicating that Clint really did move on from Rory, who excitedly clasped hands with Ajay. Skye waved a small greeting from her seat at the breakfast bar, still dressed in the dark colors that he remembered her for. Casey called his name from the open kitchen, showing off his cooking skills by flipping a pancake while keeping a conversation up with him. He felt awkward with so much attention on him, but at the same time, he was upset that the one person he wanted to be close to and let ask him invasive questions was refusing to even get near him. Ajay was led to a booth where everyone crowded around him, questioning him about New York and his fancy film school, intent on squeezing every ounce of information out of him. 

“Is everyone there super stylish? You’ve changed a lot from last Christmas, Ajay,” Erin prodded, referring to his outfit that didn’t seem to belong in southern Oregon. He laughed and took his jacket off, feeling hot under the inquisitive gazes of his previous classmates. 

“I showed up to the first day and immediately felt out of place, so my roommate helped me out.”

“What’s your roommate like?!” Rory asked, leaning their head on their hands to listen. 

“Oh, his name’s Nikael. He’s, uh, more into photography. But he’s really cool! You’d like him.”

“What’s the dating scene like?” Ajay’s head whipped to his right and he nearly fell out of the booth in his haste to stand, towering over Bailey as she looked up at him with a blank stare. The entire diner fell quiet, intent on watching what would happen between the two. 

“I…” he trailed off, running a hand through his hair. He searched his mind for a response that wouldn’t lead her down the wrong path, but he couldn’t find one. “How’ve you been?” 

“Avoiding the question? You don’t need to spare my feelings, Ajay.” She crossed her arms and gave him a cold smile that lasted a split second, but its effects lasted far longer. He struggled to respond when she turned away from him to call out to Casey, who was loading batter into a waffle iron. Ajay suddenly noticed that she had changed from her uniform into normal clothes that made his heart ache, wishing that he could say a word. Instead, all he could do was watch helplessly as she spoke to her brother. “I’m clocking out, Case!” She walked to the door and opened it, ignoring the bell that loudly rang in favor of sending him a glance over her shoulder. 

“Bailey, I--”

“Welcome back, Ajay.”