#its been a while since i rly sat down and took my time with a piece and im rly happy with this one....

[meltesh28]

My name... is Jack Frost. The Moon told me so. But that was all he ever told me...

Happy RotG anniversary!! \o/ this movie still has a special place in my heart

[lemonandlime22]

I LOVE your bitey child series!!!

Please I NEED bitey child yuu calling Malleus, Jack, Rook, and Sebek big brother💖😭💖

Malleus, Jack, Rook, and Sebek's reaction to bitey child!Yuu's calling them big brother

Warning(s):

A/N: Omg!!! this is so cute!!! tysm for requesting I hope you like it!

[Bitey child!Yuu Masterlist]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Malleus

Mal and Lilia were having a nice conversation in the Diasomnia lounge abt whatever they talk abt

then you just waltzed in, tugged at Malleus's coat, and said,

"Come with me big brother, i needa' show you somethin'..."

He was in shock but followed you anyway

leaving Lilia behind to almost have a heart attack from how cute that was

You two ended up in the backyard of Ramshackle where there was a small patch of dirt lined with many rocks that all very in size

you had shown him your very own garden that Ruggie and Deuce helped you start

nothing had grown yet but you were still quite proud and puffed your chest as you awaited Mal's response.

Malleus chuckled in amusement,

you had come all the way to Diasomnia just to show him your garden

it warmed his heart, especially since he knew how much you hated going through the mirror gates alone

yet you still did just to come to get him

you must truly see him as your big brother then...

He patted your head and said,

"This is very impressive, little sibling. Please do tell me about all of what you are growing."

Jack

Jack was just minding his own business, happily eating his lunch

when you came out of nowhere and clung onto his tail with no warning

this was far from the first time though

so he just sighed and continued eating

and you, still with your arms locked around his tail, plopped onto the empty bench area next to him

"*sigh* what are you doing Yuu?"

you just inaudibly mumbled into his tail with a yawn and curled onto yourself, using his fluff as a makeshift pillow

"Really Yuu? Common, you shouldn't be taking naps in the middle of-"

he was cut off by more of your mumbling, but this time he caught on to a certain sentence

"Noooo, big brotheerrrr, lemmee sleeep"

Jack instantly stopped in his tracks

he got hit with a massive wave of nostalgia from when his little sibling called him that for the first time while they were learning to talk.

He didn't have the heart because it was now a pile of mush to stop you and ended up being late for his next class

its rly hard to carry a child thats clinging onto your tail.

Rook

You were once again trying to steal Rook's hat

he was hunting a certain eel when you just popped out of nowhere a took his hat

he found it quite amusing

and was very proud that you had managed to sneak up on him.

He playfully chased you all throughout the campus

which lead to you climbing up a rather tall tree

and Rook knew almost instantly something bad was going to happen

and just as he was going to warn you, you slipped and ended up falling

Rook was quick to catch you

and you clung onto him while crying with your face shoved into his shoulder

he was sat under the tree while rubbing you back and reassuring you everything was ok now

when you had mostly calmed down you looked up at him and said,

"*sniff* Thank you, big brother..."

"Hehe, it was my pleasure, dear little trickster!"

Rook stood up, picked up his hat that landed a little ways away, placed it on your little head,

and took you to Pomefiore to get you cleaned up.

He's quite pleased with the nickname you gave him, though he is interested to see who else you refer to that as, there must be many.

Sebek

Sebek had been dragged to yet another sleepover at Ramshackle by the rest of the first years

they do this at least once a month.

Rn, he was pouting on the couch while everyone was just talking and hanging out a lil ways away

you had gotten board so you grabbed a chair to prop up behind the couch

Sebek was already well aware of your plan, you had done this hundreds of times and were never able to stay too quiet abt it

you quickly wrapped your arms around his neck and yelled,

"Sneak attack!"

ok- its not rly yelling but its loud for you.

and Sebek stood up, with you still hanging on, and took your little arms to propel you forward as he shot down

you were thrown onto the couch with Sebek still holding your arms waiting for you to tap out.

You loved trying to wrestle with him when you were hyper, it's where you learned this cool barrel roll trick.

When you didn't tap out just kept trying to do said barrel roll, so Sebek opted to tickle you

which worked, after a minute you just started trying to tap out while saying

"Ok-Ok-Ok!! You win big brother! You win!!"

He just huffed and sat back down with a victory smile

It wasn't until 3 days later that he realized what you had called him while he was recounting the incident to Lilia

and he had no clue what to feel.

And Lilia had another heart attack

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[lotties-ashwagandha]

hi hi!! if u have time can i request a tess x autistic fem reader fic whereby tess comforts them when theyre overstimilated?? like maybe theyre having dinner at bill n franks and the sounds/ textures are ick TM ajsk idk, it doesnt rly matter, thats just what i thought of first... and like maybe she lets u stim with her fingers... or maybe she puts on a record (cause its bill n franks and i imagine they have them)...

sorry that was v poorly thought out asjd

WALK THROUGH FIRE, I WILL BE THERE

pairing: tess servopoulos x autistic!fem!reader

word count: 1544

notes and warnings: i loveee this request sm,, also i just feel the need to say this is from my own experiences with being overstimulated as an autistic person,, i know it's a little different for everyone but this is just written from my own experiences and sensitivities so be mindful of that while reading!! also i wrote half of this while i had fucking food poisoning and a fever thats how dedicated i am everyone also if there are mistakes that’s why bc fuck proofreading

It seemed that you had been doomed ever since you’d woken up that day.

You had been having one of those days, where everything constantly seemed like too much. It was as if every bit of exhaustion you’d acquired throughout the past few weeks had finally built up enough to overflow, and you were feeling the full effects of it, all while attempting to move forward unbothered.

You didn’t want to talk, you didn’t want to have trekked through fucking woods and abandoned towns, and you didn’t want to put up with Bill and Frank for the weekend. Staying with them was usually viewed as an escape for you, freedom from the QZ and its demanding labor jobs, but the journey it took to get to their house and the engaging enthusiasm with which the couple usually met you and Tess was overwhelming at the very least.

You’d made it through most of the day. You were laying on the bed waiting for Tess to finish getting dressed, the two of you having taken a warm shower together almost immediately after arriving at Bill and Frank’s. It was the only chance the two of you ever got at hot water, water that wasn’t rationed.

“I think Frank’s making some new recipe from a cookbook he found,” Tess said, adjusting the sleeves of her burgundy button-up. “Hope it doesn’t taste like shit, the food here is the best we ever get.”

“If Frank’s cooking, it’ll be fine. It’s Bill we have to worry about,” you smiled.

(A/N: I don’t remember if we ever saw either Bill or Frank cooking sooo we’re just pretending that Bill is a shitty cook bc it’s funny and gay <3 )

“Remember the last time we were here and Bill tried to cook?” Tess asked, grinning. “He almost burned the house down and dropped a knife on Frank’s toes.”

You nodded, immersing yourself in the fondness of the memory. “And then Frank made us grilled cheese in apology.”

Tess sat down on the bed next to where you were laying, taking your hand in her own. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” you replied. “Why?”

“You just seem a bit off today.”

You shook your head, sitting up. “I’m just tired. It’s always a long trip here, and after all the shit we’ve been putting up with in the QZ, I just want to relax.”

“We have all weekend,” she assured you, both of you moving off the bed. “Unless Bill has us help him with setting up more of his fucking traps again.”

You smiled softly, leading the two of you out of the guest bedroom, repeating to yourself like a mantra that all you needed to do was make it through dinner.

—

You had wanted to fucking murder him ever since he brought the dish out. It was soup, to your great dismay. The very thought of eating it with three other people had made you want to stab yourself with the dinner spoon as Frank announced the success of his new recipe.

As soon as everyone had ladled soup into their bowls you were thrown into a fresh new depth of hell. The sound clinking of the silverware on the bowls felt like gunshots ricocheting through your brain. Bill kept slurping his soup. Some of it drained into his beard. Frank kept fucking talking while he chewed on bread. The whole thing had you almost in tears, it felt like you were on fire, and somehow everyone else was completely fine, which consistently renewed the obligation you felt to sit through the entire dinner.

Finally you couldn’t take it anymore — any other day you might have been able to make it another ten or fifteen minutes, suffering in silence as every bit of stimuli set your senses aflame, but you had simply had enough. Every bit of masking and terrible sensory stimulation had built up, like a cup overflowing, and any more would have sent you into a spiral.

You stood from the table, muttering something about getting more wine before rushing into the kitchen.

At last you were alone, and though it ceased the constant burning in your mind, it did not soothe the aftermath of it. A slight panic set in that you couldn’t explain, and all you wanted to do was go lay in bed, free from everyone and every sensation. For a while you stood in the kitchen, eyes closed, attempting to regulate your breathing.

The opening of the kitchen door caught your attention, and to your great relief it was Tess joining you — if it had been Bill or Frank, you weren’t sure you would have been able to keep your composure, not if they did one more thing to trigger you.

“You okay?” Tess asked, refilling her glass of wine before standing beside you, leaning against the kitchen counter. She offered you a glass of wine and you realized that she had refilled your empty glass along with her own.

“I’m fine,” you croaked, taking the glass of wine from her and immediately taking a gulp of it.

She raised her eyebrows, taking notice of how much wine you’d just drank, but you didn’t care.

“What happened?” She asked, ignoring your adamance that you were fine.

You sighed, gesturing to the dining room, feeling sick just thinking about it. “They kept making those fucking noises… the chewing, and the slurping. I think they heard those fuckers chewing all the way back at the QZ. I couldn’t fucking take it anymore. And the soup, I don’t know what the fuck Frank put in it, but the texture was atrocious.”

Anyone else would have looked at you like you were insane. Anyone else would have lectured you about how you were being ridiculous, how no one else could hear what to them was so naturally inaudible. But the way Tess looked at you only displayed the love she had for you — she understood, or maybe she didn’t, but to her you were perfect, and as best she could she would make things better for you, would listen to you.

“Come here,” she said suddenly, leaving through the back entrance to the kitchen in order to avoid the dining room. She led you back to the guest room you were staying in, and though you were grateful for the peace you had finally acquired, worry still lingered at the back of your mind, and the hammering in your skull had relinquished to utter exhaustion.

“They’re going to notice when we don’t go back down,” you said tiredly.

Tess shrugged. She began to rummage through her backpack, and you slumped down into an armchair by the side of the bed, closing your eyes.

“I was going to save this for when we got back to the QZ,” Tess said, turning to face you, “for a holiday or something, I don’t fucking know. But I think now is a better time.”

You opened your eyes to see her standing in front of you, holding her backpack.

You furrowed your eyebrows, a bit confused. You were about to ask her what she was talking about when she pulled from her backpack a record — it looked perfectly new, untouched.

As you took it in your hands, you paused. She had given you an album by your favorite band, a band you were obsessed with. It was the only album of theirs that you hadn’t collected in the last 20 years. Tess had completed your collection.

“Holy shit,” you breathed, your gaze shifting from the album to her. “Tess, how did you…”

“Frank and I made a trade.”

“What did you trade him for it?”

She shook her head, moving to turn on the old record player on the other side of the bed. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Tess, it does matter.”

“Just enjoy it,” she said firmly, and you joined her by the record player, setting up the player with the record.

After a moment the first song on the track began to play. It was a bit faded, a bit scratchy, but you didn’t care. It was perfect, simply because it was there.

Gently Tess took your hand, leading you a few feet away to the open space of the bedroom. The two of you began to sway to the music, relishing in the peace that came from the comfort of the music in accompaniment with silence. You still felt burnt out sensory-wise, and you would for a little while, but being alone with the woman you loved while listening to a band you adored took so much of the last few weeks’ burdens off your shoulders.

“Do you want me to adjust anything?” Tess asked after a few minutes. “Lights, music volume, anything? I know you’re overstimulated and I don’t want to make it worse.”

You shook your head, smiling softly. “I’m okay.”

And you were, so completely content with simply being there with her. She was everything, an embodiment of peace though so threatening to everyone but you.

“Thank you,” you said quietly, resting your head on her shoulder as the two of you continued to sway to the music.

“The next time Frank offers to make soup for dinner, I’m going to bash his head in.”

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

a/n: this was originally the final scene of my rengoku fic unInterested, but at the last minute i cut it since i thought it was already getting out of hand >< its not very long, but it's very sweet imo!! enjoy ^^ (i recommend reading unInterested before this extra scene since it falls at the tail end of that fic, but if for some reason you don't, the reader is female! so, keep that in mind)

w.count: 1.1k (i rly thought it'd be shorter-oops)

-x-x-x-

As the boys' all finally settled down for a relatively peaceful meal with small chit-chat going back and forth between the two Rengoku sons and mainly Tanjiro. Zenitsu was busy happily eating the food you had prepared and Inosuke was doing relatively the same- but messier. Afterwards, they had insisted that they clean up since it was you who had brought the food to begin with.

Tanjiro and his group had taken your, no empty, bento tiers and left towards the kitchen, led by Senjuro as the idle chatter grew distant. Rengoku had excused himself for some reason or another telling you to relax for a moment while the rest of them are out. He probably went out to finally address his father that he was at the estate for the moment- not like he'd get anything in return.

You sat in the room by yourself as you took a deep breath.

Today had been exhausting to say the least. You haven't spoken to so many people for such a lengthy duration of time in a long time. After all the time you spent to yourself during your time in the corps, it took a tole on you to forcefully be social like this. But, you had to do your best in order to keep the mood from getting dreary on Senjuro's birthday.

Now that you were faced with peace and quiet, faced with momentary solitude, you let your shoulders sag and repositioned your legs that were folded under you. You even scooched yourself back against a wall to rest further. As you listened to the sounds coming from outside, you felt yourself start nodding off.

Naturally, you knew you shouldn't just fall asleep in someone else's house- much less a hashira's home during someone else's day of celebration. And although you knew that, you could hardly twitch your fingers or concentrate long enough to even try to stay awake.

You remember mentally telling yourself to stay awake- regardless of all your fatigue- before your eyes shut and your head fell back against the wall and your cheek falling to your shoulder.

Rengoku had left his father's quarters with a small sigh before he was shaking any bitter thoughts about the man he used to admire so much from his mind. He had no business dwelling on the past- especially today. Coming back around to the room you and the boys' had claimed for socializing, he cocked his head seeing the group of all four young men stood in the doorway.

Tanjiro's hand was slapped over Inosuke's mouth as he muffled what were probably demands to get his hand off his face, as Zenitsu aggressively shushed him. Senjuro himself looked a bit flustered, cupping his chin and looking back and forth before he smiled at the sight of his elder brother returning.

"What's the matter?" The older asked as he approached the group.

"Well, it's y/n-san," Senjuro started, looking back into the room. Rengoku easily looked past the group as he towered over them and looked into the room. His eyes widened a fraction at seeing you leaning against the wall, sleeping peacefully.

Rengoku smiled softly at your form. All this noise and socializing must have really tired you out.

"Should we leave her?" Senjuro's voice interrupted his thoughts as he looked down at his brother. He shook his head in two short shakes before politely stepping past the group of boys and entering the room.

He came to kneel at your side, seeing you breathe in even breaths and noticed that even in your slumber you maintained the swordsman breathing techniques used to strengthen demon slayers in combat. Mastering a breathing technique was an impressive feat, even in your sleep.

"We shouldn't let a lady sleep in such a noisy room, especially in a position like this," he almost whispered. As a naturally loud individual, it was quite different hearing him so quiet. "She'll wake up uncomfortable if we allow her to continuing sleeping here."

Before anyone could ask him if he was going to wake you up since he says you shouldn't sleep there like that, he was extending his arms towards your body.

One of his came around your shoulders, gently lifting you off the wall and towards himself, curling his hand up and against your head to push it towards his shoulder instead of limping hanging in the opposition direction. The other maneuvered your legs and bent them at the knees so he could hook his arm under them before easily lifting you. Your body naturally fell further against his chest as your head fell under his chin.

You were quiet warm to hold. And the pressure of your weight in his arms made him feel comfort somehow.

He turned around, walking back to the doorway as the boys' all stepped aside to let him pass.

"I'll take her to a vacant room to rest. You boys' please keep Senjuro company until I return." They easily agreed as they all reentered the room that was now vacated of your sleeping presence before Rengoku made his way to the room he used while he was growing up and that he still used now on his visits back home.

His room was a vacant room after all.

Making it inside, he laid you on the floor before he was quickly and quietly unfolding the futon from the closet and placing you on it before pulling the covers over your body to your shoulders. With you comfortable and still very much asleep, Rengoku sat beside you, his knees bent under himself and his fists lightly curled and resting atop his knees.

It was odd, the sense of peace he felt as he watched your sleep. It was like he wanted to be sure you'd be able to rest easy in his home and he hoped that was the case. He wondered if you were comfortable enough in his home to fall asleep like this or if you were just so exhausted from today that you couldn't help it.

He wondered if you were comfortable enough around him to fall asleep like this in front of him again should you need the rest.

At the smallest hint of a crease in your brow, he was reaching over your forehead and placing his naturally warmer than average palm over your skin. His thumb absent mindedly stroking along your hairline.

"Be easy," he whispered, like he was trying to soothe your already unconscious mind and keep you resting. Even when your face relaxed again, he kept his hand on your head. Something about soothing you, soothed himself as well. "Rest as much as you like, I will be here when you awaken."

And there he stayed, by your side until your eyes did eventually slide open again. Greeting you with a smile and a warm palm on your head. Even if you immediately felt embarrassed.

[inactiive]

I jus need an extremely rough dom ron fic w a giant mix of daddy kink, choking, clit & tit slapping, reader being a sucker for his moans & he’s extremely loud & vocal & they’re on top grinding over his bulge when he’s in his boxers & then rides his thigh while he both praises & degrades her & then he fucks her rly hard pls😔

attention — r.w.

ron weasley x reader

summary: purposefully trying to push ron’s buttons is never a good idea.

warnings: degrading, daddy kink, choking, clit/tit slapping, thigh reading, grinding, praise kink, sex, swearing, stomach bulge, pet names, breeding kink, minor cockwarming, message me if i should add anything else!

authors note: i don’t really have an excuse as to why i haven’t uploaded in so long. i’m going to be uploading mostly on weekends now because the weekdays have been so hectic for me. but enjoy xx <3

taglist: @anchoeritic @anxietymonsterr @ch0kemedracomalfoy @hufflepuff-cutie  @kyleed24 @valwritesx @georgeswh0re @Slutherin-7 @cherrysicarus @dracossimp01 @asimpfortheweasleys @acidluvs @Axva03 @sadwhorexxx @wholebigboxofyikes @mirandabate28 @sweeterthansammy @okie-dokieartichokie @literallyjamespotter @shesthegirlnextdoor1 @georgeswh0re @amourtentiaa please fill this form out if you want to be added to my taglist

You let out a dramatic sigh loud enough so your husband, Ron Weasley, heard it down the hallway. It had been almost a week since he had touched you and you couldn’t help but miss him. This past summer, Ron had been helping his twin brothers, Fred and George, with their joke shop. But ever since the season ended, he’s become more and more busy due to auror training. Of course you’re absolutely proud of him and you want him to follow his dreams, but can’t a woman miss her husband?

Before, you and Ron were having solid sex at least three times a week and at most everyday. He explained to you that he would have to work extra hard and he wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with you. You were bummed out about it, but he assured you that it was for your future family.

You told yourself you’d be able to last throughout his training, but it’s only been a week (not even) and you felt like you were going to explode. Everyday that Ron came home, he expressed that he was too tired to do anything after dinner. He felt bad about it, sometimes coming home to you already asleep, but he needed to do this.

So, as long as you would have to, you continued to sulk while Ron was writing to someone important in his office. After a few minutes, Ron still wouldn’t come out of the room, so you decided to take matters into your own hands. You stripped down to nothing but one of Ron’s jumpers and panties.

Before entering the office, you knocked on the door. Ron looked up from his desk and his eyes lit up when he saw you.

“Hi, darling. What’s up?”

You walked over and tried to crawl into his lap. “I just miss you, Ron.” You whined.

He gave you a sympathetic look. Ron obviously missed you too.

Ron kissed the top of your head and pulled your waist closer to his body. “I know, sweetheart, I just need to finish up this letter and i’ll be in bed with you soon, okay?”

You shook your head instantly. “I don’t want you to come to bed to sleep, Ron. I need you.”

Ron’s jaw dropped slightly and for a second he was speechless. It felt like it had been forever since you two experienced any sort of intimacy in bed.

“You need me, huh? Well, why don’t you be a good girl for me and wait patiently in our room?”

You were starting to grow irritated. “Ron, please I can’t take it anymore! Your letter will be here tomorrow, I promise.” You tried to look convincing as possible, but Ron saw right through your facade.

“Sweetheart, don’t be a brat. I’m sorry but i’ll be there soon.” He said sternly.

“But, Ro-”

“Now.”

You scoffed and stood up to push yourself onto his desk. At the same, you knocked over a glass of his coffee and you both watched it spread throughout the wooden desk. Oh fuck, you’re in for it now.

You looked back at Ron and you couldn’t tell if he was pissed or extremely pissed. “[y/n], look at what you did! That letter was important to me and I don’t understand why you have to always be a brat when you don’t get what you want.”

“Daddy, i’m sorry! I really didn’t mean to, I promise I'll be a good girl.” You begged.

He sighed in defeat. “I know you didn’t mean to, bunny, but look at what happened when you decided to disobey me, hm?” He grabbed onto your chin so you could look at him. “Now, I want you to go into our room and wait for me. Naked.”

You obliged his orders and rushed over to the room down the hallway. Quickly, you took off Ron’s jumper and your underwear. You sat on the bed nervously while picking at your fingers, not knowing what to expect from Ron. Once you heard his footsteps, your heart started racing. You were intoxicated with lust that traveled all the way down to your core.

When Ron arrived at the door, you could swear you almost started drooling. His red hair was messy while his shirt was unbuttoned halfway down his body. You looked at him nervously and his expression was unreadable.

“On all fours. I’m not going to ask again.”

You closed your eyes knowing what would happen next. Although you did feel bad for ruining Ron’s papers, you loved riling him up.

All of a sudden, you felt a strong hand push your head into the mattress while your ass was up in the air. “Godric, you look so good like this, baby. But, I have to punish you first. You understand don’t you?”

“Yes, daddy I understand.” You softly replied.

“Don’t worry i’ve decided to go easy on you tonight since I haven’t been spending as much time with you. But, I want you to count up to ten. That’s how long it took for me to fix my letter that you ruined.”

He softly stroked your back and traced his hand to your ass. Ron squeezed it a few times before it quickly came into contact. You whimpered slightly before you started counting.

“O-one!”

Every time Ron’s hand left an increasingly red handprint on your left cheek, you couldn’t help but get turned on. You were in such a vulnerable position obeying his every word.

Once he finished, you were cradled into his arms. He softly pressed kisses to your body, especially the stinging pain on your behind. “You did so well for me, darling. But, i’m not done with you.”

He connected his lips with yours, but this time it was more aggressive. Just a second ago he was so gentle with you while whispering praises in your ear. Now, that has changed and it couldn’t excite you any more than it already had. You turned over to straddle his waist and he yanked your hair back. While pressing open mouthed kisses to your neck, you began to grind onto his hard on. He grounded loudly into your ear. 

“Fuck, you’re already so eager, sweetheart. What am I going to do with a little whore like you? Go on then, get off on my thigh.” 

With each leg on either side of his thigh, you started to rub your clit on his leg. You let out small whimpers and moans into Ron’s ear. His hand slowly made its way up to your throat and he squeezed it. As you felt the air getting trapped in your lungs, you became more and more wet. Connecting your hand with his, you wrapped his hand around your airway once again. 

“You like that, don’t you? My sweet little girl likes to be choked?” He smirked. 

You didn’t respond due to the lack of oxygen you were getting, but you replied by moving faster on his thigh. Ron knew you were getting close as he felt your movements become more frantic and he didn’t want you to finish yet. 

“Alright, bunny, get off.” 

You whined at the loss of contact and he gave you a hard glare. “What did I say about being a brat? Get on your back now.”

He threw you onto the bed and slapped your breast before sucking all around your body. You couldn’t describe how Ron made you feel. He was always a mix of being gentle and rough with you. 

“What do you want now, baby? Do you want Daddy to fuck a baby into you?”

“Yes, please Daddy! Just come inside of me, please. You don’t even need to prep me. I fingered myself to the thought of you this morning while you were gone.” You moaned loudly.

Ron’s eyes darkened. “You did? I didn’t know my innocent baby was a whore. Tell me whose cunt is this?”

“Y-yours, Daddy.” you whispered. 

Ron then slapped your clit which you whined at the contact. “I can’t fucking hear you.”

“It’s yours! It’s all yours, Daddy. Now, please fuck me.” You begged. Ron was always a sucker for your begging. 

“Okay sweetheart, open those legs for me.”

You did as you were told trying to ignore the fact that you were about to combust. Ron softly pepper kissed down onto your body and his hand fluttered over your sex. You couldn’t help but thrust your hips upwards into his hand. Ron wanted to comment about how needy you were being but if he was being honest, he was needy too. You could tell by the way he was not so subtly grinding onto the mattress. 

“C’mon Ron.” You tugged at his boxers and successfully removed them from his body. He watched your eyes become hooked to his cock and it made him hard even more. If that was even possible. Your hand came into contact with it and he hissed instantly. Ron grabbed your wrist stopping you from continuing. “Princess, I suggest we finish what you started.”

You nodded shyly at him and turned around to lay on your stomach, but he stopped you. “I want to see your face while I fuck you.” Blood rushed to your cheeks and you moved to lay on your back again. As much as he loved fucking you while your ass was in the air, he also loved seeing you come undone just as much. 

The head of his cock slipped through your folds and you sucked in a breath. “You okay?” Ron questioned.

“Yeah, I’m okay, love.” you paused. “Just don’t be gentle with me tonight, please.”

And with that, Ron withdrew his hips and thrusted into you, hard. You whimpered loudly only to earn a hand around your throat. You tried to remain eye contact with him but every time you tried your eyes seemed to roll into the back of your head. He felt your muscles tightening around his cock and he truly couldn’t take it anymore.

Gradually, his hips gained speed, and every thrust hit that spot that made you fall in love with Ron Weasley even more. 

“Don’t stop, please. Don’t stop.” You begged.

Your comment made Ron’s hand tighten on your throat. “Since when did you get my permission to be so greedy? Are you the only one that’s allowed to come?”

“No! Want you to come too, Daddy.” 

“God that’s right.” Ron groaned and picked up his speed. Looking down, he could see his cock sliding in and out of you. He seemed so big compared to you and it felt like he could break you at any moment. A bulge on your stomach became increasingly prominent as he thrusted into you, each one becoming more sloppy. 

“Fuck.” He breathed out. “You look so good under me, sweetheart. Let me come inside of you.”

“Yes, please, I want you to come inside of me.” You were beginning to clench around him. “I want you to get me pregnant with your baby.”

“Beg for it. Only good girls get to cum.”

Fuck, seriously? All you could hear is slapping skin and the sounds of Ron’s cock slipping inside of you. “Fuck. Please, Ron. Just let me cum with you. I want you-” You swallowed. “I want you to fill me up.”

After ten more seconds of Ron’s fingers digging into your hips while he fucked your brains out, his hips snapped forward. Simultaneously, you felt yourself come undone and fall over the edge. You let out a high pitched moan while Ron groaned loudly into your ear. 

“Fuck. Fuck. You’re so beautiful when you cum, darling.”

He continued to fuck you slowly and eventually pulled out, but you pulled him back towards you. 

“Stay with me. Just for a few minutes.” you murmured.

“You know if I say yes I’ll end up falling asleep.”

“I don’t care. I just want to hold you.”

Ron relaxed on top of you, not believing that you were his. 

You were always going to be his girl. 

—

hi! if you requested to be added to my taglist just message me. i haven’t posted in a while so i’ve forgotten who asked me. :)

[bcdwhcre]

Ok so how bout an Erwin fic where the reader is Hanji’s assistant and they’re rly shy but Erwin finds her rly cute esp whenever they’re flustered or blushing. When he loses his arm hanji absentmindedly assigns the reader to shave his face when he’s in the infirmary and they’re both just left there like 😀 and there’s a lot of tension bc he keeps staring at them and the reader keeps on blushing but is v gentle omg I would be foaming at the mouth if you wrote this

“The Assistant,” Erwin x Reader

I shall deliver to my Erwin simps.

Summary: you’re Hange’s assistant and your newest assignment is to take care of Erwin after he was wounded, resulting in losing his arm.

Warnings: none, fluffy Erwin.

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It was unexpected and out of character for you to join the scouts. Even though you didn’t technically join the scouts fully, being Hange’s assistant was still like being apart of them.

You had begged her to let you work under her since you were absolutely fascinated by her work and the way she loved science just as much as you did, it was perfect fit and when she agreed you loved every single day of it.

When news came back that Commander Erwin had been seriously injured while out on a expedition, you had grown worried for your Captain as you waited back the main base.

Once everyone made it back, your eyes had instantly went on Erwin and noticed his whole arm was missing and you were more than shocked at the scene before you.

After everyone had managed to settle in back at the base, you were called to Hange’s office and you assumed it would be an assignment.

“I’m sorry that this assignment isn’t what you’re expecting or what you want but I’m putting my full trust in you and to take care of the Commander while he’s in the infirmary. He needs assistance.” She had explained to you and you nodded your head, not questioning her reason to send you to his side.

The way towards the infirmary had felt like a long one, you were actually quite nervous to assist the Commander and take care of him. Sure you had met him a few times, you do admit he is rather attractive and definitely intimidating so by nature you were nervous.

You were scared to mess this assignment up, you were scared to see Erwin in such a state and being unable to do certain things for himself. You were practically his nurse and that made you grow uneasy, afraid of screwing things up.

Your shaky hand reached up to gently knock on the door, hearing his approval to come in and you opened it up to see him on the bed, the absence of his arm had made the sleeve of the hospital gown limp and hanging on his shoulder.

“Hange sent me here-“

“I know, come in.” He insisted, gesturing you to fully come in the room and you did, standing there awkwardly for a few minutes, your cheeks heating up.

“Anything I can get you?”

“Maybe a cup of water for now? Kind of thirsty and they won’t let me get up and fetch it myself.” A small chuckle had left his lips and you nodded before leaving the room.

As you poured the water in the cup, your hand shaky and you had cursed to yourself for being so nervous about this. It wasn’t that big of a deal but the side of you that was super anti social and naturally shy, it made things a lot harder.

Your feet made its way back inside the room, resting the cup on the table beside him before standing there in front of him, chewing on your bottom lip.

Erwin had seen your nervousness and shyness as something really cute. He could tell how badly you didnt want to mess things up and he also noticed how your cheeks would flush when he would make eye contact with you. He tried not to make things obvious, hiding the smirk wanting to come across his face as he took sips of the water.

“One more thing,” He started off, setting the cup aside on the table.

“I need help shaving this mess off my face, if you don’t mind?” He asked you, raising his eyebrow while he kept the eye contact until you answered.

“Yeah, of course.” You agreed, you couldn’t just say no to the Commader, you were assigned to help his needs until he was comfortable enough.

You sucked in a sharp breath, grabbing all the items you needed and sat on the bed in front of him. You had moved the table to be beside you and you had nervously spread the shaving cream on his face, making it too obvious that your hands were still shaky.

Erwin had watched you closely, his eyes burning into you while you tried to remain concentrated on what you were doing but it was pretty hard for you to ignore his stares considering you felt how intense it was.

A couple of times you would lock eyes then quickly break the contact as your cheeks flushed red. You were positive your face looked as red as a tomato. You couldn’t believe how flushed you were but it was happening.

You carefully took the razor, dragging it down his jawline and he was very interested in your concentration as well as your desire to not meet his gaze, it amused him actually.

The tension in the room was so thick that you could choke on it. The both of you weren’t dumb, you can sense it and feel it surrounding the both of you but you tried to play it dumb, continuing to drag the razor down his skin gently, wiping the shaving cream off and repeating the same actions.

Erwin never looked at you fully for the first time before this day but when he had no choice but to look at you while you helped shaved his face, he couldn’t help but stare for minutes at a time. He liked the way your cheeks would turn pink to red in an instant, he liked the way you would scrunch up your nose and bite your lip while you were concentrating. He admitted you were a cute little thing.

“What made you want to be Hange’s assistant?” He finally spoke up, wanting to make things less awkward and tensed than what it is now.

“Um, I’m a big science nerd like she is.” You laughed slightly, meeting his gaze then looking back down.

“So you enjoy studying Titans like her, right?”

“Hm, yeah, I suppose.” You simply shrugged your shoulders, finishing off the last spot.

You grabbed the small towel, wiping off the remaining shaving cream off his face and smiled at how well you actually did.

“There, all clean.” You set the things down on the table, watching Erwin put up a small mirror and looked at his now clean face.

“Thank you, I really appreciate your help.” He admitted, resting his hand on your upper arm and gave it a gentle squeeze.

You had felt a small tingle in your stomach, just as you thought you were comfortable he definitely made you completely nervous again. This time you tried your best to keep your cheeks from turning a shade of pink but some color ended up popping up anyways, not as much as before.

Erwin smiled sweetly at you, removing his hand and you stood up from the bed gathering up the materials on the table to go put away before returning to the end of his bed.

“If there’s nothing else, I can leave you be.”

“Actually, stay with me for a bit. I like your company.”

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The Erwin simps will be blessed with this work of art. Enjoy. Even tho it’s rather short🤧

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

[girls-scenarios]

A Little Curiousity

Idol: Heejin (Loona)

Prompt: Guys! Can u do smth like a AU with Heejin where the reader and Heejin are POKEMON TRAINERS!!(im rly hyped about the new pokemon games!!!) Where her pokemon got lost in the woods and the reader helps her find her pokemon and decide to continue their path to the Pokemon League together!

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: I just finished playing Pokémon Shield on my Switch and I’m still super excited about it since it was so fun, so I thought I’d try my hand at this prompt! Please forgive me if my writing isn’t the greatest, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

Heejin wouldn’t normally consider herself a slow or inattentive person. After all, being a trainer had heightened her senses and made her pay more attention to her surroundings. But she had been in the middle of setting up her tent when it happened, too distracted with her full hands to react fast enough. She hadn’t even noticed Star, her Raboot, curiously approaching the tree as she focused on getting her tent up before the approaching clouds could open their floodgates.

She hadn’t noticed until the sky lit up with lightening, the ground shook with the force of the thunder, and he let out a loud squeak just as something hit the grass. At the squeak, she had turned just in time to see him dash off into the woods after a very large, very startled Skwovet, leaving her and the rest of her team to stare after him.

“Star! Stop!” She’d called after him, but it was too late. By the time she had jumped to her feet, he was gone and the skies opened, pouring a heavy rain down onto the campsite. She had only taken a moment to corral her team into the tent and tell them to stay before she ran after him, but he was already long gone.

Now she was soaked through and gasping for air, her new boots covered in thick mud as she stopped to catch her breath under a huge oak.

“Stupid Skwovet, how did it just jump out of nowhere like that?” Heejin huffed and stomped her foot as she looked around, squinting through the rain. “Star! Come here!” A distant roar answered her call and she shivered, clutching the Pokeball at her side that contained her Mubray Champion, the only companion she’d thought to bring with her in her haste. God, this was so stupid. She was going to catch a cold wandering around out here. Thankfully she’d left her backpack with her clothes at the tent so she could change when she got back.

She went to take a step forward, then froze. Her tent. Where was it again? A bit frantic, she looked around, but all the trees just looked the same, especially under the heavy rain. Gulping, she glanced back at her footprints. Would she be able to follow them back?

Half of her wanted to run back the way she’d come, but she knew that she couldn’t leave Star out there alone. Groaning, she wiped at her face with the back of her hand, swearing to herself that she was going to get a leash the next time they were in town. There was no way she was going to let this happen again. She was miserable as she started forward again, cursing everything. Stupid rain, stupid Skwovet, stupid curious Raboots, stupid woods-.

“Hey, are you okay?” The voice that came from deeper inside the woods made her jump and stop in her tracks again, her head swiveling around to try and find where it came from. “I heard you out here in the rain so I came to see if everything was alright. You’re totally soaked!”

She found herself looking to her right and watching as you stepped out of the darkness, an umbrella over your head and your eyes wide and concerned. For a moment, she was apprehensive, until she noticed that the belt around your waist was full of Pokeballs and you had a Pumpkeboo trailing after you, peeking at her from over your shoulder. Somehow, you seemed a bit familiar as well, but she couldn’t tell why. Not through the rain and the darkness that lingered in the woods at all hours of the day.

A quick glance down at herself had her feeling embarrassed and she let out a soft laugh, pushing her wet hair away from her face. “Well, I don’t know. My Raboot ran off into the woods while I was setting up camp and now I can’t find him in the downpour.”

Your frown was sympathetic as you stepped forward, close enough to cover her with your umbrella. Now that she wasn’t moving, she realized how cold she was, making her shiver again. Your frown only deepened. “You aren’t going to be able to find anything in this downpour. Why don’t you come over to my camp? It’s right back through these trees here. I’ll give you some of our curry and you can warm up by the fire while we try to figure out how to find that Raboot of yours.”

For a moment, she hesitated, before realizing that you were right. She could barely see anything and Star wasn’t going to come out from wherever he was hiding until the rain ended. “You’re right. Thank you,” she said, a grateful smile stretching over her lips as she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to conserve as much body heat as possible. “I owe you one. My name is Heejin, by the way.”

You smiled in return as you started to guide her back the way you came. “I’m (Y/N), and don’t mention it. It’s the least I can do for a fellow trainer. You’re trying to get your gym badges, aren’t you?”

With a raise of her eyebrows, she asked you how you knew, drawing a laugh from your lips.

“I’m a trainer too and I’ve seen you at the past few gyms. You always challenge right before me, so I’ve seen you fight a few times. You’re really good!”

“Oh, thank you.” Her face burnt a bit at the praise, but she was thankful for the warmth so she didn’t turn away. Instead, she studied your face, before her eyebrows raised in recognition. “That’s why you looked a bit familiar to me! I’ve definitely seen you at the gyms before. Although I guess I’ve never seen you fight,” she said sheepishly, making you laugh again.

“That’s okay, like I said, I’ve been after you, so I wasn’t expecting you to stick around and watch every round. Not while there’s still so many of us challengers. It’s nice to officially meet you though.”

“Same to you, although I wish we’d met under slightly less.... Wet conditions.”

“True. Oh, we’re here!” The trees disappeared suddenly, giving way to a small clearing just big enough for a campsite, where your other Pokémon ran over to great you. You had your tent set up and your curry cooking, and she felt her stomach grumble. It had been a long day, and even though she’d given her team berries to tide them over until dinner earlier, she hadn’t eaten in a while.

“Come over here and warm up,” you told her, guiding her under your makeshift shelter by the fire before closing your umbrella and going about filling up a plate. With a happy sigh, she leaned closer to the fire and smiled at your Vulpix as it wandered closer, sharing its warmth. As she let Champion the Mudbray out to run around with your team, you approached her with the plate. “Here, have some of this.”

The curry was spicy, and she let out a hum as she swallowed her first bite. “That’s delicious!”

“Thank you,” you said, a smile stretching over your face as you sat down and let the Vulpix climb into your lap and snuggle close. “I’m glad you like it. Most of my experience is in cooking for Pokémon, so I’m always a little worried that it might not be edible for humans.”

It was her turn to laugh before she took another bite, already feeling warmer. Before she knew it, she had already finished the plate and she felt warm inside and out, most likely thanks to the extra heat Vulpix had added to the fire. The rain had let up as well, and there was a bit of sun peeking through the clouds as the downpour turned into a tiny drizzle.

“I can’t thank you enough,” she said earnestly, “I feel a bit guilty for taking up your time,” but you waved a hand, dismissing her guilt.

“Don’t worry about it, Heejin. I’m glad I was able to help.” You looked out at the woods. “Now that you aren’t going to freeze to death and it’s no longer raining, we should start looking for your Raboot.”

Her stomach dropped and she sighed, placing her plate down and standing up. “I feel terrible for leaving him out there in the rain.”

“It’s not your fault, you couldn’t find him,” you soothed, putting Vulpix down and standing up as well. “I’m sure he was able to find shelter in plenty of time. Pokémon are animals, after all. They’re good at surviving the elements.”

“That’s true. But I still want to find him as quickly as possible.”

“Then let me help.” You whistled, getting the attention of the Pokémon. “Come on guys, let’s go find Heejin’s Raboot!” Turning back to her, you raised your eyebrows. “Does he have a name?”

“Yes, his name is Star. You don’t have to do this, you know. I don’t want to be a bother.”

“But I want to.”

Something in her heart fluttered at your words and she felt her cheeks flushing. “Oh. Well then, thank you again (Y/N). His name is Star. Hopefully he’ll come out now that’s it’s not raining as much anymore.”

The ground was still muddy, but the trickle of sunlight made it easier to say and, without the drumming of the rain, it was easier to hear all the different sounds of the forest. With Champion trotting behind her and you by her side, Heejin made her way back into the woods, calling for Star. She had to admit that having you by her side made her feel a lot better: the various sounds from other wild Pokémon didn’t scare her as much anymore. No matter what was out there, surely the two of you would be able to take it. It gave her more bravery to search, and search she did, looking anywhere she thought Star might hide.

“Star, come here! It’s not raining anymore, you can come out now!” Crouching down, she peered into another den, only to quickly back away at the sight of a sleeping Bunnelby and sigh. “Where is he? Maybe he went back to camp?” She stood and dusted off her still-damp pants, about to suggest that the two of you try to find your way back to her camp before you let out a gasp.

“Heejin, I think I found him!” At your call, she spun around to see you peering up into a short berry tree, your eyes wide. “Hey little guy, how did you get up there?”

Heejin broke into a run, clearing the short distance in no time with her heartbeat spiking in her chest. Sure enough, when she looked up she saw Star shivering and clutching at the branch he sat on, his little ears wet from the rain and his eyes quivering. “Star! Oh my god, you scared me!”

The little Raboot sniffed and glanced away, trying to look cool, but she could see him shaking. With a relieved smile, she reached up to pull him down and clutched him close to her chest. “Don’t ever do that again! I know you’re getting bigger, but what if you had run into a big wild Pokémon? Poor baby, you’re soaked through.” She quickly unzipped her coat to wrap it around him before zipping it back up, and he snuggled closer to her chest, obviously exhausted. With an affectionate, yet long-suffering sigh, she pet his little head. “I’ll cook your favorite curry when we get back, okay? It’ll warm you right back up.”

When she looked up, you were looking at her with a similar affection twinkling in your eyes, your hands in your pockets.

“Thank you so much again for finding him,” she said, shaking her head. “I should have known he’d be up in a tree looking for food.”

“How did he even get up there?” You looked back up at the branch he’d been sitting on, looking a bit incredulous. “I’ve never heard of Raboots climbing trees, that’s for sure. I just happened to look up and see a flash of red and white.”

She laughed, still softly petting his head. “He’s too adventurous for his own good. Add that to his endless energy, his speed and constant growing, and his huge appetite, and you get a Raboot with no problem getting into trees. He doesn’t climb as much as he runs and jumps.”

“Oh, that makes more sense.” Your smile returned and she felt her heart flip as your eyes met hers, the spark of affection still lingering. “I’m glad you found him. I can’t imagine how scary it is to loose a Pokémon.”

“I acted annoyed, but I was really scared,” she admitted. “I don’t know what I’d do without this little guy. He was my first Pokémon ever.”

“I can tell how close you guys are. It’s cute.” You grinned and her cheeks warmed again as she watched the sun slip in through the leaves to light up your face. It was like the universe was asking her to fall for you or something.

“I-I... Thank you?” She let out a nervous giggle, then perked up at the familiar sound of her Liepard’s call. It was somewhere close by, which meant that her camp wasn’t far away! “Champion, can you lead the way back?” He gave her a little nod of his head before she turned to smile brightly at you. “My camp is close by, why don’t I give you some potions as a thank you?”

“Oh, you don’t have to!” Your eyes widened as you waved your hands. “I just wanted to help, I didn’t want anything in return!”

“Still, I want to do something to return your kindness. I’m really glad I ran into you out here.”

Your face immediately softened at her words and you fell into step beside her, a small smile on your lips. “You know, I always wanted to approach you at the gyms, but I was too nervous.”

“Really?” Her mouth dropped open. “Why?”

“You seemed to be so good, so confident, so, um, pretty,” you blushed as you spoke, looking down at your shoes. “I was intimidated by you, honestly. But now I see that I should have approached you sooner.”

“I can’t see myself be intimidating,” she said, still shocked, before her lips turned up into a hopeful smile. “Want to make our way to the next gym together? It would be nice to have some company on the journey, and I want to get to know you better.”

You visibly perked up at her suggestion, just as Champion broke through the woods into her camp, returning to the happy calls of her team. The sun was bright as the two of you stepped into the clearing, and your eyes sparkled in the light as you beamed at her, making her heart skip more than just one beat.

“I’d love that!” You exclaimed, and her smile stretched to match yours, all of the fear, and cold from earlier being replaced by an excitement that lit a fire in her chest, different from the competitive determination she’d felt at the beginning of her journey.

“Great! This is going to be so much fun, I just know it.”

As she placed a sleeping Star into her tent and covered him with a blanket, listening to you coo at her other Pokémon, she couldn’t feel the annoyance she’d felt earlier, forgetting her promises to scold him when she found him. Instead, she pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead before sitting back to admire you, full of anticipation for the future.

“I never thought I’d say this, Star,” she said in a whisper as she stood up to head back out to you, head already spinning with plans of what she wanted to do with you. “But I’m so glad that you’re the curious type. I’ll cook you something nice to thank you for this when you wake up. I have a feeling that this is going to be big!”

[ya-girl-mc]

Hammered

Character: Tsukishima Kei × Fem Reader

Concept: Y/N joins Tsukishima and his colleagues for a night of drinking, but ends up embarrassing him as she gets wasted

A/N: Cause I miss getting drunk and doing stupid shit, hence this fic feat. our salty boi ✌ it was rly fun to write this so,, hope u enjoy it too!!

☆☆ A Haikyuu!! Fanfiction ☆☆

Light filtered through the window blinds, rousing Y/N from her slumber as she pried her eyes open, cursing to herself as she felt a stinging pain in her temples. She was hungover, pretty badly at that, and as much as she wracked her brain to try and recall the events that transpired the night before, it only made her headache much worse.

Shit...I don't feel so good.

As her eyes darted around, she was immediately relieved knowing that she was lying down on the couch in her and Tsukishima's living room, managing to deduce - despite her muddled state-of-mind - that someone must have taken care of her in her drunken stupor.

Gritting her teeth, Y/N tried to sit up slowly, wincing as her temples prickled with pain with every movement. In her peripheral vision, however, was her livid-looking boyfriend with probably the deepest scowl she's ever seen as he stared her down from where he sat.

"Kei...?"

"Did you sleep well?" While the inquiry was meant to be out of concern, Tsukishima delivered it in a monotonous, yet utterly chilling manner which only meant one thing: he was pissed.

"What happened? And what's got you frowning so early in the morning?" She carefully questioned, eager yet dreading to find out how she must have royally screwed up the night before to get him this upset. Her curiosity only infuriated Tsukishima more and Y/N could have almost sworn seeing a blackish aura swirl around him.

"You...you really don't remember a damn thing, do you?"

*****

Fridays were usually the most anticipated day of the week for most members of the working class; however, in Tsukishima's case, he was dreading this Friday in particular.

After a strenuous week at the office, his boss suggested the entire team go drinking to reward themselves for their hard work and as a means to de-stress. But, Tsukishima wasn't keen on partaking in such nights of revelry especially after a long week at work as he'd rather spend his Friday nights and weekends relaxing at home with Y/N. The only reason that he decided to tag along is due to her persistence for him to do so.

Sighing deeply to himself, Tsukishima followed his colleagues as they entered the izakaya, chattering excitedly as they settled in at a long table at the far back. Amongst the clientele for that night, one of them in particular caught his attention, his eyes widening in surprise.

"Y/N?"

She was sat on one of the stools overlooking the kitchen. At the sound of her name, she turned towards its source and grinned widely. "Kei! Fancy running into you here and I see that you're also with your team. Good boy!"

He subtly rolled his eyes and sat down on the stool next to hers, unable to fight off a smile that made its way to his face. "Yeah yeah, if I didn't join them I'd never hear the end of it from you. Anyway, are you here alone?"

"Yeah, just stopped by on the way home from work to pick up some gyoza and katsudon for dinner. But wait, maybe I should have gotten takoyaki, too? Or maybe another serving of gyoza-" Y/N rambled as she grabbed the menu, her eyes scanning rapidly over the items.

He just gazed at her in amusement, completely oblivious to the inquisitive stares his co-workers shot their way. Tsukishima in the workplace was usually placid, reserved, and mostly impassive; seeing his relaxed and pleasant demeanor as he interacted with Y/N was especially intriguing to them, wondering amongst themselves just who that woman was in Tsukishima's life.

Keen on finding out the answer, one of his senpais called him over to their table. It suddenly dawned on him that there was no other choice than to formally introduce Y/N to them. And, he definitely was not looking forward to it as he'd never hear the end of their relentless teasing. "Y/N, would you mind coming along with me for a bit?"

Discreetly straightening her clothes and smoothening her hair, Y/N nodded and followed him to where his co-workers sat, anxious to make a good first impression. At their arrival, they immediately trained their gazes on her, just as eager to find out who she was. "Everyone, this is Y/N, my girlfriend. We live together," Tsukishima stated nonchalantly.

The shock on their faces was borderline comical as they stared back at him, their jaws hanging open in disbelief. "Girlfriend?!"

He sighed, already dreading the uproar they're about to cause. Tsukishima was a private person and rarely talked about his personal life as he maintained a firm work-life boundary. It was not like he was embarrassed to introduce his girlfriend to them; he just perceived the entire ordeal to be troublesome as his colleagues would jump at any chance to find something to tease him about.

Y/N straightened herself and bowed. "Nice to meet you, I'm Y/N. Thank you very much for taking care of Kei - I mean - Tsukishima all this time."

"I can't believe this!" One of his kouhais wailed. "To think that an office drone like Tsukishima-senpai has a girlfriend, and a very pretty one at that. So what the hell am I exactly doing wrong?"

"Believe me, I could tell you everything that you need to hear," Tsukishima retorted and shot his kouhai a dagger-like glare.

One of his senpais, a man who looked to be in his late 30's, leaned over and flicked his kouhai on the forehead as he winced in response. "Stop bad-mouthing Tsukishima when his girlfriend's literally standing in front of you. Anyway, nice to meet you, Y/N!"

They instantaneously began bombarding her with questions such as "how did you two meet", "how long have you been together", "what do you do for a living", and "of all men, why Tsukishima." Unable to keep up with what almost seemed like an interrogation by his colleagues, Y/N smiled sheepishly and shot Tsukishima a pleading look, silently begging him to bail her out.

"That's enough, all of you. You're creeping the poor lady out." Y/N turned to the man that sat at the head of the table; he exuded authority which practically gives himself away as the boss. Bringing up a cup of sake to his lips, he took a sip and eyed his subordinates sternly, yet the amusement in his gaze was palpable as he shifted his attention to Y/N. "Sorry about that, we just didn't expect our lone wolf Tsukishima to have a girlfriend, so we're all excited to meet you. If you don't mind, maybe you can join us, Y/N?"

"Sir-" Tsukishima began to protest as he felt the work-life boundary he stubbornly maintained begin to crumble; but to his surprise, Y/N seemed keen on accepting the invitation, a bashful smile on her face.

"I'd be happy to, but I wouldn't want to impose-"

"You won't, don't worry about it!" He assured dismissively and proceeded to order another round of drinks and accompanying snacks. "It's a pleasure of ours to get to know you and finally get a glimpse of Tsukishima's life outside of work."

Flattered and amused at how especially eager they seemed to know more about their enigmatic colleague and his girlfriend, Y/N gratefully accepted the invitation. "Alright, a few drinks wouldn't hurt."

*****

"Okay, I remember that much...but it still doesn't explain why you're so pissed," Y/N mused, listening earnestly to Tsukishima as he filled her in on what seemed like a disastrous night of revelry caused by her drunken antics.

He sighed and took off his glasses to rub his temples, the events that transpired the night before seemingly traumatizing him. "That's because you got carried away, you idiot."

*****

A couple of shots was all it needed for Y/N to become fully accustomed with Tsukishima's colleagues and pretty soon, they were chattering away like long-time friends while he fixated his gaze on her, his eyebrows furrowing in mild displeasure.

Aren't they becoming a little bit too friendly with her? And Y/N's just two shots in and she's already starting to get tipsy. Geez, this is so troublesome.

"Hey, one at a time please! I'll answer your questions one by one," Y/N instructed quite giddily, Tsukishima gazing at her in concern as she downed her third shot. He didn't want to be a buzzkill especially when she seemed to genuinely enjoy his colleagues' company and vice versa; however, her alcohol tolerance was remarkably low and it didn't take much for her to become fully inebriated. He decided to keep a watchful eye on her instead to prevent any incident from occurring due to her drunken antics.

"So, how and when did you two meet?"

"Kei and I go way back in high school," Y/N began as everyone at the table listened to her attentively. "He was part of our school's volleyball team and looked so cool as he played! That's when I started to have a crush on him, but it was one-sided though."

And there goes her filter, Tsukishima thought to himself, concealing his exasperation by downing his cup of sake, trying as best as he can to drown out the uproar his colleagues caused at her revelation.

"No way! Tsukishima-senpai was a volleyball player? I just can't imagine that!" One of his kouhais exclaimed, completely perplexed at the thought.

Tsukishima was about to reply with another snide remark, but Y/N was quick to interject. "Hell yeah he was, and he's such a great middle blocker to boot. He played so calmly as he read his opponent's moves...ahhh that composure of his is what makes him so cool!"

While he appreciated her attempt to defend his honor, it only increased everyone's amusement as she fawned over him, much to his chagrin. "So Y/N-" One of his senpais grinned sneakily, and Tsukishima pretty much figured out what the next inquiry will be about. "-who confessed to whom?"

"Oh, that takes me way back!" She mused, leaning against the man in question who sat right next to her. "I didn't have the courage to confess since he seemed so unapproachable and indifferent, so I thought about giving up on him. But as we became seniors, we ended up in the same class and became quite close. Eventually, during our graduation ceremony, Kei pulled me aside and confessed! I was so shocked that I started crying and...well, the rest is history."

"So it was Tsukishima here who confessed!" One of his senpais beamed and threw an arm around his shoulder, clinking his sake cup with his. "The revelations just keep on coming and coming."

"But that's amazing though," their boss remarked, completely engrossed in the conversation as much as his subordinates were. "You've been together for such a long time now. It's pretty rare for high school sweethearts to last that long."

Y/N nodded earnestly and downed her fourth shot before Tsukishima had the chance to snatch it away from her hands. "I agree, but Kei is such a caring and thoughtful boyfriend! He may seem like a sour puss on the outside but he's reaaaaaally sweet and very very clingy! But shhhhh...don't tell him I said that, though."

Ugh great, now she's done it. Tsukishima almost had to cover his ears as everyone at the table guffawed, unable to stomach the idea of their placid colleague and the clingy boyfriend Y/N described being the same person. He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping and praying for the evening to be over.

*****

Y/N cringed as Tsukishima helped her recall the things she had blurted out amid her inebriated state, starting to slowly understand the reason why he was so livid in the first place. "Okay...first of all, I am so sorry - with every fiber of my being - for embarrassing you like that-"

"That's not all you did," Tsukishima interjected quite menacingly and pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to keep his temper in-check. "As if that wasn't humiliating enough, you managed to exceed my expectations."

*****

A couple more shots later, Y/N was too far gone. She was completely wasted, and Tsukishima couldn't bear to look at his co-workers as they shot each other uneasy looks, the concern palpable in their wordless exchanges. He was utterly embarrassed yet frustrated at himself since she somehow managed to surpass her drinking limit despite being under his watchful eye.

"Heyyyyy, owner! Anotha' round of sake for this table right here, and put it on my tab!"

As Y/N made an attempt to leave the table, she accidentally knocked over a half-empty glass of water, the liquid spilling all over the table as a result. Giggling to herself while Tsukishima's colleagues scrambled to remove their belongings from the table, she attempted to grab a bottle of sake, but he swiftly withheld her attempt to do so, yanking it out of her reach.

"Okay, enough is enough," he reprimanded firmly, setting the bottle down on the table and bringing his face close in an attempt to get through to her. "Y/N, for the love of God, please get ahold of yourself."

"Tsukkiiii...you're hereee!" It was futile, Y/N's glassy eyes an indicator that she was in no condition to listen to reason. She smiled goofily and threw herself into his arms, the sheer force causing Tsukishima to stumble, his arm accidentally knocking over a glass to the floor as it completely shattered as a result.

"Shit! I'm so sorry, did anyone get hurt?" He exclaimed in a state of uncharacteristic panic, his arms struggling to support his drunken mess of a lover as she began mumbling unintelligibly to herself.

"We're good, Tsukishima. Don't worry about it," his boss assured. "But, I think it's best if you take her home, she doesn't look too good."

Yes, good call, that's one way to put it. Goddammit, this is too fucking embarrassing.

Pretty soon, the izakaya's owner approached the group amid the commotion, and with Tsukishima sincerely apologizing and swearing to pay for the damages, he also insisted on paying for the entire group's bill to compensate, but they turned down his offer, advising him and Y/N to get themselves home safely.

Tsukishima thought that the nightmare had ended; apparently, Y/N had more in store as she tapped his boss' shoulder, staring down at him in an attempt to look stern. "Hey sirrrr...can you lay off Tsukki sometimes? 'Cuzzzz...he comes home waaayyyy too late and we barely have enough time to get down and dir-"

"NOOO!" Tsukishima cried out in horror, completely and utterly humiliated as he scrambled to clamp his hand over Y/N's mouth in an attempt to salvage what's left of both of their dignities. However, the force caused her to stagger, her unruly arm knocking over a bottle of sake atop the table. Tsukishima was unable to do anything as he hopelessly watched it topple over, the liquid spilling and trickling down on his boss' lap as he felt every ounce of his life force drain out of his body.

God, if you're listening, then please...I don't care how you do it, but I beg of you...just kill me now.

*****

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Y/N wailed and buried her face in a pillow, unable to bring herself to look at Tsukishima as he unveiled the horrific experience he and his co-workers went through due to her drunken stupor. To say that she was embarrassed was a complete understatement; she was mortified, and it definitely was not an ideal first impression as she mourned for her long gone dignity. "Just kill me, please!"

Tsukishima was practically seething with rage at this point, wishing that the night before had just been a nightmare, yet it was nothing but a cruel reality. "You're embarrassed? How the hell do you think I feel? I lost count of the number of times I had to apologize before I hauled your drunken self home! You literally went crazy, Y/N! How careless, especially knowing that you can't handle alcohol well!"

She deserved to be scolded. Y/N lifted her head from the pillow and looked up at him, her eyes prickling with tears as she wallowed in her shame. "Kei...I'm so sorry. You're right, I was careless and I embarrassed you in front of your co-workers. I really didn't mean to! Oh my god...what if you got fired-" It must have been the after-effects of her hangover that made her an emotional mess as she felt tears running down her face, berating herself for acting in such a distasteful manner - in public and in front of his colleagues, at that.

Tsukishima deeply sighed to regain his composure. He settled down next to his lover on the couch, his hand rubbing across her back as he tried to calm her down. "Don't be ridiculous. I won't get fired over something like that, the boss isn't that shallow. He even called me up as soon as we got home to ask how you were doing."

At his gesture, Y/N bawled even harder, the tears streaming endlessly down her face. "I'm really sorry for ruining your night. I promise that I won't do it again."

"Y/N," Tsukishima began and tipped up her chin, locking his golden eyes with her puffy ones. "Look, I'm even more upset that you weren't being careful. I won't stop you from drinking, but you've got to be more aware of your own limitations. What if I wasn't there with you? What if you were alone and there was no one you trusted to take care of you?"

He's right, I'm such an idiot. I sure as hell won't be drinking anytime soon especially after last night's debacle!

She only managed a nod, sniffing profusely as she fished out her handkerchief to wipe her tear-stained face. "I'm so sorry, Kei. I swear that I'll be careful next time."

"You better be, you drunkard," he playfully retorted, the corners of his mouth subtly twitching upwards at how undeniably adorable she was being.

"So...you're not mad anymore?" Y/N inquired softly, looking up at Tsukishima with pleading eyes. While his earlier rage was now long gone, he did go through quite an ordeal, and he wasn't keen on letting her off the hook that easy as he wickedly grinned at her.

Oh, shit. I don't like that look.

"Sorry Y/N, but you're not getting off that easy. You did humiliate the both of us after all," he stated deviously, his smile widening at the uneasy expression on her face. "So for the next two weeks, you'll be doing all the household chores, and you're on bathroom cleaning duty for the entire month."

She sighed and nodded defeatedly. It was definitely a pain, but Y/N was resolute on serving her punishment to atone for what she did. However, she couldn't help but feel relieved since she had expected something way worse; doing all the household chores seemed quite tame in comparison to what she had imagined.

But then again, this was Tsukishima, and as he sensed her apparent relief, he laid out the pinnacle of her punishment, unable to fight off the sadistic grin on his face. "And, as soon as you're not hungover anymore, we'll be paying each of my colleagues a visit so you can sincerely apologize for what you did."

Y/N gawked at him, her heart dropping to her stomach. "C-come again?" He's not serious. He can't be...right? Right?!

"You heard me." Tsukishima was dead serious. She knew that something was amiss with his household chores punishment; he may be her boyfriend, but he definitely was a sadistic bastard if he needed to be.

"NOOO!" She wailed, completely mortified at the prospect as she began hitting him with the pillow, her hangover being the least of her concerns. "Please Kei, anything but that! I'd rather not meet them again for the rest of my living days, so please!"

Tsukishima chuckled and stilled her movements, staring her down to show just how serious he was. "Well, that just means that this punishment is befitting, right? At least now you'll think twice before letting yourself get wasted again. This will be a good learning experience for you."

Y/N knew that there was no other way to escape from her upcoming predicament. Completely at a loss, she only managed to shoot Tsukishima the harshest glare that she could muster. "Fine. If it will make you happy, you sadistic bastard."

Knowing that he had emerged victorious for this round, he let out a carefree laugh and planted an affectionate kiss atop her disheveled hair. "I appreciate it. Now, let's get that hangover treated real quick."

[taelme]

Friends-to-lovers!Mark

genre: friends-to-lovers!au, (fluff, angst, mutual pining lol might seem like slow burn) 

pairing/s : Mark / Reader, the dreamies all appear in this!! 

word count: 12k+ 

tw:  mild language, bullying :( but nothing too major im too weak to write that shit HAHHA 

a/n: this was a rly cute concept I always wanted to write,,, like a older brother figure best friend mark and it takes place in a church camp!! but you can just ignore that and pretend its a normal camp if you're not like religious I guess u know idk I hope u guys like this!! it was rly fun to write smth with all the dreamies :( gif creds to original poster

Stepping into the hall of the camp, you took in a deep breath of the air through your thin mask, the only thing you could smell being the stale material of the mask mixed with the warmth of the air you breathed out. Your eyes wandering around the room before landing on the familiar head of light brown hair. Lugging your duffel bag and sleeping bag over to where the boy was, you greeted, “Hi,” tone sounding too tired for his liking.

Looking up from his phone, he shot you a displeased look, his nostrils flaring slightly with the deep breath he took in as a prelude to the sigh you knew he was about to give you. “Took you long enough. What’s with the mask?”

“Mom told me she wouldn’t let me leave the house without it, says I’ll spread my germs to you guys,” you drawled with evident disbelief.

Donghyuck’s heart shaped lips curve into a smirk, “Strange, that’s never stopped you before, though.”

You shrugged, running a hand through your hair absentmindedly, eyes simultaneously searching the room for where Mark was and it didn’t take Donghyuck very long to catch onto what you were doing. 

“Dunno, I mean, it’s Mark’s first time as a camp coordinator. I wouldn’t want him having to deal with a whole flu breakout here..” you trailed off  

Donghyuck cooed sarcastically at your statement, “how disgustingly thoughtful of you. So, basically, what you’re trying to say is that you’re doing this to make life easier for your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” you protested, earning an eye roll from Donghyuck- and a rather long one at that.

“I call bullshit!” You heard another voice pipe in and soon enough you could place a face to the voice when you saw Renjun take a seat next to Donghyuck, half-turning to Donghyuck to mutter, “I heard the word boyfriend and assumed she was denying her love for Mark again.”

You gasped, doing your best to look offended as you watched open-mouthed as Donghyuck shook hands with Renjun in approval, “Absolutely correct.”

You heard a shout of your name, turning your head to find the direction of the noise when you saw a navy blue sweater clad Mark, landyard round his neck, jogging towards you with a lazy smile on his face, his brown hair ruffled messily making him exude a certain boyish charm.

“Hey, I’ve been looking everywhere for-” his smile curved downwards into a frown upon noticing the mask you were wearing on your face. “You still sick?”

You nodded, “It’s weird, I feel like I’m fully recovered but felt like I should put this on just in case.”

Donghyuck and Renjun took that as a cue to proceed with their own individual conversation and leave you two to converse after Mark’s lack of an acknowledgment towards their presence.

Mark nodded slowly, his lips pressed into a thin line like how they did whenever he was thinking. He wouldn’t say, but he knew the mask would be gone before the day ended since you never liked the feeling of it covering your face; also because he was familiar with how much you loved your reactions to be unrestricted.

“Oh, right, I remembered what I was gonna ask you. D’you mind helping with bag checks later? There are really few girl helpers here now since most of them told me they’d be showing up later,” he shot you a pleading pout.

You whined in reluctance but nodded nonetheless. “Mark, you know how much I hate that,” you put on your best glare in the hopes it would dissuade him.

Jutting out his lower lip and batting his eyelashes profusely at you in response, you were prompted to continue, “It’s always so hard to be patient with them when they’re always rolling their eyes at me and giving me attitude for confiscating their phones.”

“That’s why I’d rather you do it, ‘cause if they had a problem with you, I know you’d just give them attitude too, also because I’d make sure no one gives you any trouble if I can help it.”

You scoffed at his snickering, trying your best to ignore the way his nose scrunch tempted you to reach your hands out and pinch his cheeks. The both of you walked over to the tables they had set up for bag checks, Mark following close beside you.

“You say it like you wouldn’t do that if it was another girl helper,” you accused him with a teasing lilt in your tone, seeing Mark shrug casually yet not making any move to deny your accusation.

“Well, just that if it was you half the work would already be done for me,” he winked, making you gasp, whacking him on the arm.

“Can’t believe my best friend is making things easier for himself at the expense of my emotional state.”

Mark rolled his eyes at your dramatic sigh, a soft smile never faltering as he spoke, “oh, shut up, you know I love you.”

You couldn’t help but hear that as nothing but platonic, hoping Mark couldn't hear the hitch in your breath, shrugging as nonchalantly as you could, “of course.”

You were friends with Mark ever since he transferred schools and moved into your neighbourhood, occupying the house just directly opposite yours. All it took was a single dinner invite to his family and the two of you shared an immediate bond over a friendly dance battle on the wii console. ( Till today you'd like to remember it as a victory for you since Mark's flailing limbs didn't help him very much in moving along to Lady Gaga ).

From then on, you never felt like him being 2 years older than you prevented you from getting closer - hell, you barely even believed it - with his constant presence near you, be it in school and out of school, cheering you on at your drama performances and vice versa at his band performances and basketball games. You weren’t sure when it started being an unspoken thing that if you were somewhere, there he would be as well.

But that was never awkward till you entered your teen years, Mark's changed physique gaining him more attention from girls, whereas your beauty grew more and more each day ( well at least it did to Mark ) and there was an unspoken knowledge that the both of you knew that your feelings for each other could start to wobble over the line separating platonic and romantic, but neither of you ever brought it up. You always just brushed off Mark's habits of buying you your favourite melon milk before school or saving you a seat at his table with his group of friends as all part of his duty as your 'older brother' best friend figure.

While you were busy fumbling around to setup a table for bag checks, Mark was fumbling as well in the pantry for his vitamin drink and preparing a thermos flask full of ginger tea for you to soothe your throat. Once he’d finished, he sounded the siren on the megaphone- after many minutes of ‘oh shit’s from pressing the wrong buttons on accident -signalling for everyone to gather as he strolled to the assembly hall, the corner of his lips quirking up ever so slightly at the sight of everyone already gathered and seated there upon his arrival.

“Sup- I mean uh…alright guys, thanks for being so fast in gathering," he began, silence ensuing in the hall other than the clean tapping of his shoes against the shiny wood floor, and hushed chatter from Donghyuck and Renjun, as he made his way towards where you sat in the circle, making as if wanting to seat himself next to you.

Not without an offended scoff, Renjun shifted his bum to the right to make space in between himself and you for Mark to sit down, the older boy holding the thermos flask in front of you with an expectant look.

"Ginger tea," he answered before you could even ask him what the flask contained, "make sure to finish it by lunchtime for your throat," he gave you a rather forced-looking close-lipped smile, unbeknownst to him that he was being watched by the entire service team, the only thing on his mind being to give you that and see to it that you fully recover.

"Thanks, Mark," you mumbled, grasping the flask tightly and lowering your head to avoid the stares you were receiving from the team, especially Donghyuck and Renjun who made their smugness a little too obvious.

He's just taking care of you as a little sister, you reminded yourself, desperately hoping your words would lessen the severity of the heat you felt on your cheeks.

Mark proceeded to run through the details of the camp programme, mentioning details of the day like wet games and whatnot. You would’ve remembered if you were actually paying any attention. The tip of his pink tongue would occasionally peek out to wet his lips as he spoke, his hand coming up to nudge his glasses up his nose bridge whenever he looked at his papers scattered on the floor.

You were starting to think it was a little ridiculous your heart rate could speed up watching him just sitting there, not doing anything particularly mind-blowing. Just sitting there being, well...Mark.

"Is that alright?" you snapped out of your trance when he glanced at you for approval of whatever he had been talking about for the past five minutes. You nodded mindlessly, shooting him a smile of reassurance.

"Yep, it's fine," you answered along with a few other murmurs from around the circle.

Mark sighed in relief, nodding as he stood up swiftly, clipping his pen to the string of the lanyard he’d slung across his chest.

"Campers are to be here in about fifteen minutes, everybody be on standby and mix around with your group till the time for the opening address I guess, I mean- yeah, just do that.” and just like that everyone slowly stood up in groups, dispersing around the hall. Mark held out a hand for you to take to help you off the ground just as you heard Donghyuck snort at something Renjun did, turning to you as his next target.

"Hey, Y/N. Try to get up without using your hands," your competitive nature got the better of you and you heaved yourself off the floor with just your legs, grinning proudly at Haechan, Mark’s hand withdrawing to his side quickly in the hopes no one saw what had just happened.

Mark winced as he felt Renjun slap him between the shoulder blades, his chuckle sounding all too obnoxious, "better luck next time, bro," as Mark flushed red, dismissing the blonde haired boy's teasing.

Mark huffed, not feeling bitter or anything, couldn’t help the endeared smile that appeared on his face at the way you cheered triumphantly at Donghyuck, who mussed up your hair as you simply grinned back at him, then at Mark. Mark’s breath almost hitched as you stared at him as if saying ‘did you see what I just did?’, and his smile stayed unwavering, shooting you a thumbs up because god, did he love you.

===

“Don’t you ever get tired of the pining?” Renjun prodded at Mark as the both of them made their way to the water coolers, the blonde haired boy twirling his bottle in the air with each throw.

“What?” Mark felt as if he hadn’t processed whatever Renjun had just said to him.

Renjun shot him a tired look, “Don’t act dumb, Mark. You know what I’m talking about.” Renjun was who Mark had first confided in when he realised that he had feelings for you, obviously earning a long lecture from the younger boy, who was very much insistent that Mark should do something about the way he felt before it was too late.

“Of course I do,” Mark muttered with a defeated tone, the muted whirring of the water cooler matching his sentiments.

“Then? Why aren’t you doing anything about it?”

“Ever heard of fear, dude? She’s like...my best friend, I can’t just like drop a bomb like that on her, it’s too risky.”

Renjun rolled his eyes, “And hopelessly pining for her every day is a better option?”

Mark’s mouth opened in protest, holding his now filled water bottle up in protest, “It’s not hopele-“

“I heard Jaemin’s gonna ask her out.” Renjun lied, making Mark fall silent as his eyes widened, speaking for themselves. Though it arguably wasn’t the best method, Renjun knew that someone like Mark would need a push like this if he wanted Mark to take action.

Mark’s jealousy was slowly creeping in, making its authority evident in his tone as he countered with a scoff, “I’d like to see how that turns out.”

“Well, you’re not exactly ‘Johnny Bravo’ yourself, dude. You gotta up your game! C’mon, you’ve got so many chances to do that in the next 3 days, might as well use them to your advantage,” Renjun karate chopped the metal railing for emphasis as they walked up the stairs. Though he was convincing, Mark wasn’t sure if Renjun would be the angel or devil on his shoulders in this situation, but whatever it was that he was trying to do certainly was doing its job in getting Mark riled up.

Walking back into the assembly hall, Mark spotted you chatting with your group members excitedly, the mask you were wearing in the morning now no longer covering your face- which Mark would never outrightly admit he was happy about.

“Remember what I said, dude. Don’t miss your chance,” Renjun’s words lingered in Mark’s mind, meandering around every other thought that occupied his head and slowly tainting each one with possible thoughts of how he was going to tell you about how he felt. Campers were almost fully gathered in the assembly hall now, with bag checks finished and opening address not due for another ten minutes but as Mark saw you spot him across the room and start to make your way to him, he felt his heart start to race- no, sprint -in his chest, threatening to burst.

“Babe! The tea you made me was amazing, I feel even better now,” you grinned at him, his heart at a loss, not knowing it was possible to flutter so hard until he heard the pet name bubble so casually from your lips, accompanied by your heart stopping ( well, for Mark definitely ) smile. Your hands flew up to cup his face, squishing his cheeks together with a giggle, the sound itself making Mark panic, his fist clenching but his finger accidentally knocking the button on the megaphone that sounded the siren, making you shout in surprise, squishing his cheeks even harder before letting go quicker than you imagined you could.

Donghyuck and Renjun, who were watching the scene from afar were busy laughing at the fact that you had managed to fluster Mark into sounding the siren, attracting the attention from the entire hall.

“Sorry, false alarm,” he spoke into the mic, not sounding apologetic at all, more preoccupied with how to make his ears not give away how he felt. What he didn't notice was that his cheeks were already wildly pink, both from embarrassment and the blood rushing back into them after that pressure from your hands.

“Are you cold? your ears are really red,” you laughed, playing with his ears absentmindedly as your wrist rested just against his collarbone, making him shove you away quickly in a desperate attempt to put at least some distance between the both of you.

“Excuse me, facilitator, aren’t you supposed to be getting to know your group now instead of bothering the person in charge?” he told you as authoritatively as he could in his panicked state, raising an eyebrow at you to which you scoffed.

“Power has changed you, Mark Lee,” you shook your head in mock disappointment, “won’t even let your best friend talk to you now that you’re all up there,” you used your hand to gesture high above you before you coughed, wiping away fake tears from your cheeks before sticking your tongue out at him when you realised it wasn’t making him budge.

“Get,” he shooed you away before taking his place at the front of the assembly hall, fiddling with his phone before he sat there idling away, trying to stop his gaze from wandering over to where you were with your group, the sound of your loud laughter attracting his attention whether he liked it or not, but soon Mark settled for subtly scanning the room so he could let his gaze linger on your group a little while longer before he resumed scanning the room like it was part of his role.

===

You shrieked upon the feeling of cold water rushing over your head, down your face, wetting your neck and travelling down the rest of your body. Turning around rapidly, you heard the camera shutter go off with an all-too familiar voice ringing out a "Smile!" your eyes landed on the culprit which was none other than said cameraman, Mark Lee, carrying a camera in one hand and a - now empty - bucket in the other.

Letting the camera dangle from the toy story camera strap you gifted him hanging around his neck, his giggly giddy laugh echoing within the almost-empty underground carpark. Usually this would've been enough to cloud your judgement with sheer endearment for the boy, but you opted to whack him on the arm and kick his butt as punishment for getting you wet with foamy water.

"You're lucky you have that camera or I would've drowned you by now," you huffed, seeing him pucker his lips at you, shaking his butt from side to side in some sort of attempt to mock you, which you found unbearably cute instead.

“I know," he told you in a matter-of-fact tone, throwing the empty bucket aside before bringing his hand up to comb through his hair and wipe the sweat from his face with the hem of his t-shirt, which of course caused you to look away quicker than lightning. The hair that he had now pushed back messily on his head was recently dyed back to black from its previous stunt of blonde he thought would be fun to try. You had to say, as much as he was annoying you right now, how he looked in his hawaii print shorts and his white shirt was distracting you.

"Feels good to be an organizer, no getting wet and gross like you," he stuck his tongue out, making you roll your eyes in response, snatching the bucket back from where he threw it on the floor so you could hand it back to the logistics member running the particular station game you were at.

"Don't you have other people to take pictures of?" you sneered, his seagull eyebrows rising in disbelief that you sounded as if you didn't want him there so he turned around, making as if he were about to leave.

"Well sure if you don't want me here," you grabbed his shirt before he could walk any further, pulling it so he stumbled back next to you, slippers stomping noisily.

"No, wait. I’m kidding stay here don't leave me," you pleaded, flashing him your signature pout with your best attempt at sympathetic eyes, making his nose scrunch up in a smile as his hands unconsciously clenched.

"God, don't give me that face," one of the participants in your group waggled her eyebrows at you behind Mark's shoulder, making you flush and shoo her away with a flick of your hand.

"Good, isn't it? if I keep practising, you bet I can get my mom to checkout my shopping cart for Christmas in no time," you grinned, earning a good-natured shake of the head from Mark.

"It's shower time after this right?" you asked, the sludging and squeaking of your wet slippers irking you as you walked behind your group with Mark, who glanced at his watch before nodding at you.

Mark couldn’t help the giggle that escaped from his lips as he saw the way your arms would unconsciously raise as you tried to take your steps with minimal noise. “Yeah, you guys can hit the showers after this, especially you.”

You heard his stomach grumble, your gaze shooting up from the floor so you could frown at him.

“Please tell me you ate during lunch...” Mark was sheepish, laughing nervously as he shrugged, his hands fumbling around as he debated on whether to avoid the question or listen to the scolding he assumed you were about to give him.

"Well, I got a lot of reviews on the catering??" you sighed at his reply, making sure he knew how displeased you were at that fact.

"Mark,” your hands found their way to your hips, “you can't just keep forgetting things like this, I swear, no one else is gonna remind you to eat if I don't," you told him, recalling how Mark had been like this ever since high school when he started taking up more responsibilities in student council and being basketball captain and whatnot. You remembered the many lunch periods you would have to spend with him in the council room with him rushing a proposal or his homework.

"Well, at least I still have you right?" he offered with a hopeful smile, but your expression remained unwavering so he continued, "c'mon, it's my first time leading a camp; I want to do a good job."

You looked at him in understanding, resigning to the fact that Mark wouldn't back down so easily since he wanted to work hard. "Alright, fine. But I’m still gonna hound you about necessities whether you like it or not, mister," he seemed to have no objections to that, simply choosing to nod at you as if it was something he wanted.

"Wouldn't have it any other way," he picked up his megaphone and held it away from you, pushing the button- successfully, for once -to signal the siren for the facilitators to dismiss their groups for shower time.

After you were showered and in a fresh pair of clothing, you brought your things down to the canteen for dinner. It wasn't surprising that you already saw Mark waiting in the canteen, though he was looking rather rigid while talking to Jaemin, which you were curious about since you knew them to be quite comfortable with each other. Walking past them, you caught Jaemin’s eye, making him halt his conversation with Mark to wave at you with a smile, yet Mark seemed to be glaring at Jaemin the entire time.

Gathering your group of kids to get their food, you made your way to the drink dispenser, doing your best to carry multiple cups at once so you wouldn't have to make a second trip back.

"Here, lemme help you with that," Mark showed up in front of you, obstructing your path as he proceeded to take half the cups from you, earning more than a few unnoticed stares from the campers who absolutely adored the idea of you and Mark actually dating.

"Thanks," you murmured, the tip of your tongue peeking out from your lips in concentration so you wouldn't spill your drinks.

"How's the food?" he asked you.

"Haven't eaten it yet, but smells great," his eyes crinkled in a bright smile at your reply.

"Really? That's great," he sighed in relief.

After placing the drinks on your group's table he sat at one of the empty seats and spoke with you for a while as your campers slowly came back one by one. You missed the suspicious stares your campers were giving you at Mark's presence at the table. He had a hand resting on the back of your chair casually, an almost identical scene from when you had to make sure Mark ate while he buried himself in student council work.

The two of you shared food from one plate since Mark had helped take enough for the both of you, not getting a separate one for himself because he was lazy. You know, totally not because he just wanted an excuse for you to feed him while he pretended to be busy skimming through the agenda for the rest of the day.

"Do you have to leave soon for prep?" you asked him, seeing an look of realisation wash over his face, nodding at you when he glanced at the time.

Letting out a breathy sigh, he stood up, megaphone in one hand while picking up your now empty plastic plate and cutlery to help you dispose of it.

"See you later, dude," you waved sadly, and you couldn’t help but laugh as he let out his signature nose scrunch and giggle before his lips jut out in a pout, waving goodbye as he left.

Considering the fact that for the rest of the day you were busy with your group and Mark was busy making sure everything was in order, the both of you didn’t manage to find the time to stop and talk to each other when you even simply crossed paths in the hallways, settling for a playful poke in his side or a nod of the head from him as a greeting.

Thankfully, just as your back had started to hurt and your eyes started to feel heavy, it was time for the night debrief. You walked into the room, glad to see Mark had saved a space for you and was waving you over to come sit with him, beckoning you over while patting the empty space next to him.

"Hey," he greeted you with a smile, his nose scrunching when you knocked over the hood of his jacket to ruffle his hair.

"Glad that one day is almost done with," your words were slightly muffled as you yawned, seeing him shoot you a look of agreement and nod with a sigh.

"I know, right? Hope none of the committee make noise tonight, I’m really hoping I can sleep as soon as possible," he admitted, pressing his lips into a firm line as he glanced at the things he was supposed to discuss during the debrief.

You wanted to get something to munch on to keep you awake during the debrief, looking around the room as if scanning to see if any members of the service team were in possession of food, and it was as if Mark could read your mind when he took out a pack of cookies from his jacket pocket, passing it to you ever so subtly.

“Thanks, dude,” you heard Donghyuck’s voice interrupt when he reached over to take the packet from your hands, bursting it open and munching on one, much to the dismay of Mark, though he didn’t say anything, simply smiling and returning to his papers when you flicked Donghyuck on the forehead and reclaimed your cookies.

Debrief went by fairly quickly, with Mark running through the points he needed to take note of as quickly as he could. You were already feeling a little restless after finishing your cookies so you leant your head against Renjun’s shoulder since he was sitting closest to you in the circle, earning a soft chuckle from him, “Careful now, your boyfriend might get jealous,” he teased.

Harshly whispering back, “what boyfriend,” you huffed, rolling your eyes.

When debrief had ended, you were feeling really tired so after washing up and changing into your sleeping clothes you were happy to have found Mark already waiting for you outside the girls’ dorm to walk with you to the communal sleeping area.

“You’re not sleeping yet?” you asked, already yawning. Mark shook his head with a yawn himself, “still gotta finalise some stuff for tomorrow’s program.”

You frowned, waiting obediently as he had already helped the both of you take a mattress each and lay it at the side facing each other since there wasn’t much space left in the room.

Squatting next to your mattress and laying out your sleeping bag, you voiced out as softly but firmly as you could, “why couldn't they have told you earlier? It's not fair that you have to stay up doing work for them while they’re all happily asleep," you felt a tinge of annoyance at the unfairness of it all but Mark simply ruffled your hair good-naturedly, assuring you it was okay, all the while his face was heating up from his heart fluttering at your concern for him.

Once you were tucked into your sleeping bag you glanced up at Mark who was still sitting with one knee tucked under his chin, his face illuminated by the light from his phone. As if feeling your stare on him, he glanced from his phone to you, placing his phone down to give his attention to you.

“Go to sleep, you’ve got a long day tomorrow,” his voice was barely a murmur, fatigue laced in his tone.

“You should be sleeping too, you know. It’s not as if we go through different camps..”

Mark let out a soft huff of laughter, whispering back trying to reassure you, “I know, I will. Don’t worry about me and get some sleep, alright?”

Rolling over in your sleeping bag, you stared Mark down as hard as you could, “no. I refuse. For as long as you’re awake, I’m not gonna sleep,’ you huffed.

Mark knew that your claim was far- fetched, seeing as he could tell you were tired, with how your head would lull to the side ever so often and your breathing would even out before you would jolt awake suddenly, remembering your promise to stay awake.

But true enough, he wasn’t even 2 pages into his documents when he heard the light thud of your head hitting the mattress, your breaths slowing down and becoming deeper. Seeing as you didn’t bring a pillow to the camp, Mark figured he could do without his jacket since he probably wasn’t getting much sleep tonight anyway, folding his jacket carefully into a nice rectangle, one hand lifting your head gently to slide the jacket underneath so your head could rest gently on it.

“Goodnight,” he murmured, tugging your sleeping bag up to cover you more before he resumed browsing his documents.

===

The next morning, during the briefing in the morning, one of the members leading the service team had decided to add morning exercises to get everybody’s energy up, part of this including stretches.

You were a little hesitant to do the stretches since you realized your shirt would ride up a little when you had to do certain stretches, but you tried your best. Mark was a little late, walking in and not being able to help the laugh from slipping out of his mouth when he saw you struggling to do the stretches, but he couldn’t stay entertained when he saw one of the older guys from the service team checking you out while you were doing the stretches.

His best solution he could think of in the moment was to shed himself of his jacket and wordlessly walk over to tie it around your waist, successfully covering you adequately and making you a lot more comfortable, as evident in how you could freely stretch without fear of exposing too much you weren’t comfortable with.

Your cheeks flushed, not expecting Mark to swoop in with such a gesture that you obviously weren’t prepared for so early in the morning.

“Sleep well?” he asked, his voice still hoarse from sleep, joining the stretches smoothly and you had to keep your gaze focused forward so you wouldn’t lose concentration.

“Yeah, you?” he nodded.

“What’s for breakfast, organizer?” you grinned.

“Cereal, dummy. You were the one that bought it, remember?” your mouth formed an ‘o’ shape in realisation.

“Oh, right,” you laughed.

The rest of the day went by fairly fast, the highlight of it being that Donghyuck wouldn’t shut up about how flustered Mark was when he was caught off guard during your session you were giving, when he was too busy admiring you and not paying much attention to what you were saying. “He was totally drooling! Renjun can vouch for it,”


“Renjun is not a reliable source, if anything, Mark was just tired, and zoning out. That’s all.”

You could practically hear Donghyuck rolling his eyes at you. “Listen to me, I’m just saying. I’ve known Mark longer than you have, and if anything, the last time I saw him act like this was... basically never, because Mark’s never cared about someone other than his family as much before.”

“Yeah, you said it, family. That’s what he sees me as, hyuck.”

“Yeah, his wife!” you choked on your fruit punch, pushing your dinner further from you on the table since you were done with it. “I mean, everyone can see it, might as well make it clear to the both of you before I have to resort to bringing you both together myself.”

“I love you too, hyuck,” he made a face of dismay, mocking you as he repeated what you had said.

“Also, does Mark have beef with Jaemin? He’s been acting really weird around him,” you voiced out, having noticed it yesterday during lunch.

Donghyuck laughed a little too loud, shaking his head vigorously, “Mark’s just weird,” he continued, voice dropping to a mutter, “I don’t know why you like him, he’s an idiot. But you know, I’m not here to judge, you do you.”

“Get out,” laughing, you shoved him off his chair, and his high pitched giggle rang out like bubbles.

Mark couldn't help the way his eyes searched the room for you whenever he stepped in, landing on you and Donghyuck when he heard the younger boy's laughter ringing in the distance.

"I bet if Y/N usually wore stripes you'd be really good at where's waldo," Renjun snickered at Mark's resemblance to a lovestruck-puppy as he looked at you and Donghyuck every five seconds while he ate.

Mark's head shot up at the sound of Renjun's comment, glaring at the boy seated in front of him.

"Whatever," he murmured, cheeks hollowing because of the way he pursed his lips, chewing aggressively on the food in his mouth as he saw Jaemin approaching you and Donghyuck to join the conversation.

"He's totally not her type anyway," he justified to no one in particular, earning a rather intense eye roll from Renjun.

“Does saying that make you feel like you have a better chance than Jaemin? It's not as if u can just… telekinesisJaemin away from her, you might as well man up and do something about it yourself if you wanna guarantee that he won’t get in the middle of whatever you two have going on,” Renjun sighed, shrugging as if he hadn't just had an encouraging best friend moment, leaving Mark wondering how Renjun could still manage looking so innocent sipping his orange juice.

Mark didn’t even notice when you had left the canteen with one of the participants from Jeno and Chenle’s group that wasn’t feeling well, leading him up to the toilet as quickly as you could because he needed to throw up.

The boy had mentioned that he had a history of bad health, and he wasn’t feeling well enough to stand on his own, so you figured it would be best if you could follow him to the toilet to make sure he wouldn’t faint. After many minutes of retching and coughing, the boy was starting to feel a little better and you let him wash his mouth before moving to lead him out of the toilet, only to come face to face with some of Mark’s fellow committee members- who you didn’t remember the names of, but you weren’t very fond of them anyway.

“What are you doing with this kid? Did you know that we’ve had to spend the last 15 minutes looking for you while you were doing God knows what in the male toilet?” one girl with a sleek ponytail had snapped, her voice sharp and cutting.

You furrowed your eyebrows, confusion taking over you, “hey, you should go join the rest now, tell Jeno and Chenle I’ll join them later.”

Turning your gaze to the committee members after you had seen the boy disappear around the corner, you continued, “I’m sorry, I think you’ve gotten the wrong idea. He wasn’t feeling well and I saw that Jeno and Chenle were busy so I took him to the toilet myself, that’s all that happened...”

“You couldn’t have asked another male facilitator, could you? Or were you just so eager to bring him to the male toilets yourself. You know, it’s hard to believe what you’re telling us, Y/N. I mean, we don’t necessarily have the bestimpression of you,” another one of the group had spoken up, and a strange feeling bubbled within your chest. You barely even knew any of these people, yet they seemed to have so much to say to you.

“This is a church camp...” you murmured, flinching slightly at how quick they were to bite back at you with an answer.

“Yeah, a church camp where this situation would have required a male facilitator to follow the participant, not you. Wonder what Mark would think if he saw you in the male toilets with a participant, whom, you know, is younger than you,” the ponytail girl had hummed, making you scoff.

“Mark knows I wouldn’t do that,” you spoke up, trying to make your voice as firm as possible.

“Yeah, but does everyone else know?” you were at a loss, your fists clenching and unclenching as you tried to find the right words to say to them, however they seemed to have beaten you to it.

“What’s your aim, huh? Are you mad because they made us in charge and not you? Did you think that you would’ve been chosen as well just because you’re close to Mark?” one of the guys had added, folding his arms and taking a step closer to you, his height practically towering over you. “You know, he’s not even doing that great of a job, for that matter-”

“Don’t you dare talk about Mark like that,” you frowned, though their laughter only served to make you feel even smaller in their presence. “Oh? Are we not allowed to? I mean, it’s the truth after all. The dumbass doesn’t even know we’ve just been making him do all our work for us,” she shrugged nonchalantly, making your frown grow even deeper.

“Is that how you make him go to your beck and call too? hmm?”

“My relationship with Mark isn’t like that...” you started, though you couldn’t seem to know what to say after that, which of course, gave them the perfect opportunity to mock you once again.

“Really, now?” the ponytail girl had leaned closer to you, the sarcasm in her tone making your eyes roll. “Then what is it like? like you and that kid you fooled around with?”

You held yourself back, not wanting to tear up from their words but not being able to help your frustration.

“I did not fool around with him. He was sick and I brought him to the washroom,” your voice trembled with the sheer amount of anger you were feeling.

“Sure, whatever, Y/N. Just make sure it doesn’t happen again.” They left before you could say anything else, leaving you dumbfounded as you made your way back to the hall for the next session.

===

It was no surprise that Donghyuck found your behavior suspicious when you returned to the hall, and though you acted as per normal through the session, when Mark had dismissed everyone for an hour of free time before dinner, he’d taken the opportunity to sit you down and squeeze whatever gossip material he could get out of you.

“What happened during lunch? You left with Jisung, right?”

You nodded, picking up the crumbs of bread that had fallen on your pants and tossing them elsewhere, “yeah, he needed to puke and Jeno and Chenle were busy serving food.”

A silence fell between the both of you as Donghyuck continued to look at you expectantly, “Yeah, and?” he prompted with a ‘duh’ tone.

“What do you mean, ‘and’? that’s it.”

“Cut the bullshit, dude. Jeno and Chenle told me Jisung came back without you, said the committee were giving you shit.”

You sighed, finishing the last bite of your bread and gesturing to Donghyuck to hand you your water-bottle, taking your time to sip your water- and pluck up your courage -before you decided to continue, “they were just talking shit, as usual. No big deal.”

“What did they say to you?” he prodded again, making you shoot him a look.

“You’re not gonna stop till I tell you everything, aren’t you?” he nodded with a sickening smile, batting his eyes at you expectantly.

“I don’t know...you know, like....they started saying I brought Jisung into the cubicle with me on purpose or something-”

Donghyuck’s eyes widened, before his eyebrows furrowed in confusion “Huh? To do what?”

“I don’t know!” your tone was exasperated, glad that Donghyuck felt the situation was just as absurd as you thought it was. “Whatever it is it clearly wasn’t what I was really helping Jisung out with!” you huffed.

“They said it as if I was fooling around with him or something...then they were saying shit like, like I don’t know they make Mark do all their work for them? And they asked me if I manipulated him that way to get him to do things for me as well and when I said that wasn’t the kind of relationship I had with Mark they were like ‘oh so you do the same things with Mark that you did with Jisung’? and I don’t know hyuck it was just really horrible and I felt like shit and I wanted to cry because I was so embarrassed but it was like I couldn’t even talk!” you gasped, practically panting after telling Donghyuck what had happened at one go.

Donghyuck paused, letting a silence fall between you for a while before letting out a scoff, and a rather exaggerated one at that, “aren’t you pissed? I’m super pissed and it didn’t even happen to me!”

You pouted at the floor before frowning at Donghyuck exasperatedly, “you know that there’s nothing I can do about it now. And as a matter of fact there’s nothing I want to do about it now. It’s over, Jisung is okay, and that’s all that matters.”

“You know that’s not it, Y/N.” In all your time of knowing Donghyuck, you would have to say that this was the most serious you’ve ever seen him act ( well, aside from when he’s playing video games with Jeno or Renjun ).

“Well, what do you suppose I do about it, genius?” you shot back, downing a big gulp of water to soothe your still slightly hoarse throat.

“I think you should tell Mark,” he told you as if it was the best idea in the entire world, earning a violent shake of the head from yourself.

“No way in hell- I mean, heck, that Mark is gonna know about this. Hyuck, I’m serious,” you put a hand on his knee that was on the bench to steady yourself.

“Mark already has so much on his plate, I can’t afford to have him worrying about even more things, especially not if it concerns me.” You could see that Donghyuck was thinking hard about this, the pout on his lips seeming to deepen as he glanced elsewhere with his eyebrows slightly furrowed, his eyes squinting the more deep in thought he got.

“I know! What if it wasn’t about you! I can just tell him the committee were giving somebody shit-“

“Donghyuck, are you hearing yourself right now? You’d have to mention me eventually if you went with that plan. Scrap that plan, go with my plan. Which is to just not tell Mark at all,” you grinned at him, holding two thumbs up in an attempt to be more convincing, earning yourself a very slow and accentuated eye roll from Donghyuck.

“Hyuck, I mean it. I know you’re gonna wanna do something to get back at them but believe me when I say I reallydon’t want this to be made into a big deal.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. You have such little faith in me.”

You heard the sound of the megaphone’s siren signalling that it was dinnertime, so you said goodbye to Donghyuck and joined your own group to eat dinner.

Donghyuck, on the other hand, was busy gathering him and Mark’s group of friends to, if put in Donghyuck’s words- “spill the tea.”

Jaemin, Chenle, Renjun and Jeno were currently surrounding Donghyuck at one of the stone tables in the church that Donghyuck figured would make his announcement more professional, “okay, boys, first order of business. Let me tell you what happened to Y/N just now after she helped Jisung puke and whatever,” Jeno and Chenle shared what seemed to be a knowing look whereas Renjun and Jaemin just looked confused.

“Something happened?” Renjun spoke up, earning an equally confused sound from Jaemin, to which Donghyuck nodded gravely, proceeding to tell them exactly what you had told him prior to dinner time.

“I knew it!” Chenle shouted, standing up in his excitement before being shushed and shoved back into his seat by Jaemin and Renjun.

“I knew something was up when I was having touch time with Jisung just now, he said that the committee were saying things that ‘weren’t so nice’ to her but he couldn’t exactly remember what it was,” Jeno explained on Chenle’s behalf since the latter was too busy enjoying the fact that he was right about his suspicions against the committee.

“And she just stood there and took all of that?” Jaemnin asked, concern laced in his tone, glancing at a pissed-looking Renjun mid-speech.

“Well, she did say she was so humiliated and I doubt she could’ve gotten anything else in with all of those psychos ganging up on her,” Donghyuck shrugged, “which is why I say we should do something about it! Avenge our dear sister whom Mark just so happens to be in love with!” Donghyuck pumped his fist in the air, earning a sound of agreement from Jeno and Chenle, but he felt opposition the moment he glanced at Renjun and Jaemin’s concerned expression.

“I don’t know, hyuck. I mean she did say she didn’t want it to be a big deal...” Jaemin started.

Chenle jumping in quickly to add, “Unless we just tell Mark?”

“But that’s exactly what she didn’t want us to do!” Jaemin shushed Chenle again, who simply shrugged in defeat, “well that’s the limit of my ideas, man,” Chenle shrugged.

“I think we should tell Mark,” Renjun piped up, to which Jaemin asked, “wait are you on our team or against us?”

“Nobody’s against anybody here!” Donghyuck sighed, desperately wanting to facepalm, thinking again to himself why he thought telling them would be a good idea.

“The only people we should be against are those stupid committee members.”

“Wait who are they again?” Jeno asked, earning a loud groan from Jaemin.

Eventually, their discussion drifted elsewhere after someone had mentioned the brownies being served for dessert, leaving Renjun to be the only one silently thinking of how to approach Mark to break the news to him before it was time for debrief since the group of them couldn’t decide on things for shit.

===

“Dude I need to talk to you,” Renjun closed the door to the empty committee room that Mark was currently in, since after the groups were done sharing they would have to be dismissed to go to sleep and it would already be time for debrief.

“Uh-huh,” Mark barely glanced away from his notes he’d taken in the day, earning a tired look from Renjun.

“Dude I’m serious, I need to talk to you it’s about Y/N.”

“Huh?” Mark finally tore his gaze from his papers, before shaking his head and returning his glare to them again, saying, “Renjun, I’m really sorry but can this wait? I really need to make sure  got everything down here, the priest is gonna be there at the debrief later and if I screw this up it’s gonna look really bad on me as the person in charge.”

Raising his hands in an action of surrender, “Ok, fine man, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

===

When you got to the room where the debrief was going to be held, you avoided the smug looks on the committee members’ faces as they whispered amongst themselves and pointed at you not-so-subtly as you made your way next to where Mark was seated.

“Hey,” you chirped, seeing his head tilt up to look at you, a smile on his face when he realized it was you.

“Hey,” he greeted.

You chose not to distract him since he seemed to be rather focused on his notes, making you feel a little upset at how he was over here stressing out about the agenda for the debrief while the other committee members were lounging on the table idling away.

Thankfully, Mark had started the debrief a little early today, with the reasoning that he understood everyone would like to go to sleep as soon as possible after the long day you had today. Running through the list of things to cover quickly, what was next was when Mark would routinely ask if any participants were not feeling well and he would proceed to check back with the groups on those participants whose sicknesses were already reported to him.

“Group 7?” Mark asked, and you knew this was Jisung’s group, so you were expecting Mark to ask about Jisung but Chenle and Jeno’s statement caught you off guard.

“Jisung was actually feeling really bad around lunchtime? Chenle and I were busy serving food so he was accompanied by Y/N instead, since it was pretty urgent and he’d puked up a lot according to him,” Chenle made a disgusted face at Jeno’s words.

“He’s still feeling a little queasy but we gave him some medicine before we sent him to bed. HIs mom says he has a really sensitive stomach but he claims after he puked he felt a little better. But thankfully since Y/N was there it really helped him- and us -loads.” Chenle nodded, flashing you an appreciative smile as Jeno awaited Mark’s reaction.

Mark’s expression darkened, turning to the committee members who were behind him to ask, “why was I not notified that we had a participant that threw up and was under medication?” the ponytail haired girl suddenly seemed as though she had a lot less to say compared to when she was outside the washroom with you earlier.

“Well, you know....uh, well, we assumed since Y/N was the one who was so eagerly helping Jisung, she would’ve told you about the situation,” she shrugged, her gaze pointed at you.

Mark turned to you momentarily before narrowing his eyes at the committee once again, “so you were aware that this was happening and none of you decided to double check if I was notified about this?”

One of the taller guy members sitting next to the ponytail haired girl had spoken up, “well since Y/N-”

“Whether or not she was involved is not the main concern here. Her responsibilities do not include doing the work that is meant to be done by the group of you.”

You looked at Donghyuck with a panicked expression, seeing his lips pressed together in an attempt not to laugh amidst the tense atmosphere that had fallen throughout the room.

“What the heck is going on?” you mouthed to Renjun since Donghyuck didn’t seem to be able to be of any help right now, seeing Renjun shrug, pointing at Mark before using both his index fingers to make angry eyebrows on his face.

Mark lowered his voice so he could direct his words more specifically to the committee members, “I don’t know what you take your responsibilities in this camp to be, but clearly you’re not taking them seriously enough, not with you thinking I’m actually stupid enough to not realize you’ve been asking me to do extra work since you’re all seemingly incapable of doing it, and to add on to that you think that even non committee should be taking care of and receiving blame for your faults?” Mark’s voice raised slightly before he remembered the presence of the priest in the room, which served to remind him to keep his calm a little.

Mark turned back around to face the rest of the team, “Any other issues you would like to raise? if not there’s no further things we need to discuss on the agenda, you guys are dismissed. Committee please stay behind.” Mark’s aura was a lot more intimidating than you’d seen him in a while, and you understood why since you knew this was his first time being in charge of a camp and he wanted to do a good job and prove himself, but it seemed like things weren’t going as planned.

You decided it was better to leave him to do his own thing now before he could get more triggered, leaving the room after giving him a gentle squeeze of his arm.

Renjun had met Mark downstairs in the canteen after most of the service team members had gone to sleep. He felt a little pity for the older boy, seeing how his eyes had dark circles under them, his hair was messy now probably after many times of frustratedly running his hands through it, and he looked absolutely ready to pass out.

“So...debrief, huh,” Renjun let out a low whistle.

“I know, it was a mess. I can’t believe I could let that happen-“

“Did they tell you what happened?”

Mark’s eyes narrowed at Renjun, taking a seat at the bench in the open air, enjoying the cool wind of the night time that served to comfort him just a little in the midst of him feeling like absolute shit. “You mean you’re telling me there’s more that happened?” Mark’s voice was tired, sounding as if nothing would surprise him any more than he already was.

“The committee, they basically attacked - well, verbally attacked -Y/N when they saw her coming out of the male toilets with Jisung.”

Mark frowned, already getting riled up at the thought of what kind of things they could have said to you.

“They were talking to her as if she’d brought Jisung to the toilet to do....things with him, and they sort of told her that you weren’t doing that great of a job as someone in charge and asked her if she manipulated you into being at her ‘beck and call’ too…and- I don’t know there was a lot of things. They sort of put her on the spot,” Mark fell silent, the only thing he could liken his emotions to was a washing machine with his anger just busily rolling around in his mind and heart.

“Okay before you get mad, or more mad actually, the rest of the gang and I were saying that we wanted to respect her decision of not wanting to make this a big deal-”

“Wait so the rest of the guys know what happened already? I’m the last one to know?”

Renjun sucked in a sharp breath, “well....yeah,”

Mark ran his fingers through his hair for what must’ve been the hundredth time that night, “What the hell...why didn’t she tell me?”

“I mean-” Mark stood up suddenly, shocking Renjun. Mark fiddled with his phone, quickly thumbing out a message to ask you where you were.

12:18am -huh, why? i was just about to go to the sleeping area-

Mark 12:18 am -wait for me at the door-

Mark pocketed his phone quickly, “sorry, man, I gotta go.”

“Okay, fine, just totally abandon your friend who just gave you important information. It’s fine with me,” Renjun threw his hands up in exaggerated offence.

Mark was anticipating some sort of dramatic confrontation to happen when he reached the door but when he actually saw you in front of him, he’d felt as though he’d lost all the words he wanted to say.

You were relatively quiet since you weren’t sure how Mark was feeling, but you let him do the usual and bring mattresses for the both of you to lay it on the stage.

Since you were already tired beyond belief from the events that happened during the day, you didn’t refuse this time to lay in your sleeping bag and get ready to sleep, hearing Mark mumble something next to you, making you turn your head to face him, a small hum escaping your lips.

“What happened this afternoon?” he asked you, his voice clear enough that you wouldn’t have mistaken him to be saying something else. Though at this time of the night, you were desperate to give him answers to his questions so you could go to sleep, simply choosing to tell him what you thought he was asking you.

“Jisung wasn’t feeling well, he said he felt like throwing up so I brought him to the toilet.”

You heard a silence from him, assuming he was finished with his questions, “I’m gonna sleep no-”

“I asked about you, not about Jisung.”

You were too tired to realize the annoyance in his tone, turning to face him, eyebrows furrowing, “me? Nothing happened to be I mean yeah sure seeing him puke kind of made me want to puke but-”

“God, why the f-“ he stopped himself, looking at you before letting out a shaky breath, “when will you just put yourself first for once,” he turned around in his sleeping bag so his back was facing you.

“Mark,” you whispered, hoping he would turn around.

“Mark,” you murmured again, “Mark. Turn around, what are you trying to say?” you reached out a hand to shake him gently on the shoulder, feeling him grip your hand tightly, peeling it off his shoulder.

“Go to sleep, Y/N.”

===

The next morning you weren’t surprised to have woken up and found that Mark wasn’t next to you, and you hated the looks of confusion Donghyuck was giving you as to why you weren’t talking to Mark that morning. Making your way downstairs with Jaemin to have breakfast, you chose not to bother Mark more since he obviously seemed annoyed with you for some reason.

“Are you feeling better?....you know, after yesterday?” Jaemin asked, concern laced in his tone.

You shrugged, “If I were being honest....I feel even worse. I thought it would be okay, you know, after it got brought up during the debrief but..” you shrugged, trailing off as you collected your breakfast from the servers, waiting for Jaemin to collect his drink. “But I don’t know, Mark said something to me last night and he sounded pretty annoyed at me and it just made me feel...like shit I guess,” you shrugged again.

Leading you to the table where Donghyuck and Chenle were sat at, you’d joined them for breakfast, Jaemin successfully cheering you up after you’d seen Mark come into the canteen and leave with Renjun shortly after, not even remembering to take his breakfast with him, yet something in you knew you couldn’t exactly tell him to eat his breakfast now.

“Dude what’s wrong with you? I thought you would’ve worked things out with her by now?” Renjun waved his hands frantically in front of a zoned-out Mark’s face.

“Huh?”

“Why, are you, so awkward, with her?” Renjun said slowly, pausing between the sentence to break down each word for Mark with a sarcastic tone.

Mark made a disgruntled sound in response. “I just need to calm down first, okay? Everytime I see her I just think of what happened and why she didn’t wanna tell me. If I confronted her about it now what would I even say?” Mark frowned, “oh yeah I’m in love with you lol haha ttyl? It’s not that simple, Renjun.”

Renjun’s mouth dropped open, poorly stifling his laugh at whatever you could call what Mark just did.

“Mark... you know I love you but...but if she still loves you after that kind of confession, that’s how you know it’s real love.”

Mark whined, “shut up, Renjun.”

“Where is she anyway?” Mark did his best to sound nonchalant but it was hard to act nonchalant when you seemed to be completely fine at your table playing games with the guys and being so close to Jaemin, and no, Mark didn’t care if the game required you to cross hands with the person next to you because to Mark any contact with Jaemin was just automatically deemed unnecessary.

Mark saw you jump away from Jaemin and look and his direction, not even realizing why until Renjun took the megaphone out of his hand.

“What are you doing!” Renjun clicked a button on the megaphone to stop the siren, talking into it, “sorry guys false alarm.”

Shoving the megaphone back into Mark’s chest, a muffled grunt sounding from Mark, Renjun shook his head in disappoinment, “times like this I really need to remind myself why I’m your friend.”

===

Later on in that day, the committee had separated everyone into different groups to carry out the clean-up for the respective areas, and your assigned area was the carpark, which meant you were busy lugging around heavy buckets of water around the carpark in an attempt to clean it without slipping on the water and falling.

Your pants were rolled up to your knees and you were struggling to carry up a bucket to the second floor of the basement with Chenle because the more he laughed the more the water tended to spill over to your side of the bucket. Once you had set the bucket down, you thought you could finally take a break but you heard Jeno calling you over to where he was.

“Y/N, can you please go to the canteen to help shift the stuff upstairs?”

You hesitated, since your feet and slippers were already so wet, shifting the things upstairs in your condition now was just going to be a pain in the ass that you didn’t really want to deal with right now.

“Please, please please, I’m really busy right now, I’ll buy you a drink when we’re done or something,” he clasped his hands in front of him in a begging action.

Your eyes widened in interest, “I get to decide what drink it is?”

“Yeah sure of course!” You grinned in response, running ( or trying your best to with your wet slippers ) up the stairs to the canteen, looking around to see who you were supposed to help until you saw Mark, the instinctive urge to pick flight instead of fight taking over you.

You decided there was no going back now since you did want that free drink after all, so you made your way over to where Mark was, seeing his eyes widen at the sight of you there instead of Jeno.

“What are you doing here? I called Jeno.”

“Oh, uh...he was busy with stuff so he told me to come up to help instead,” you told Mark, not missing the way he kept shifting his weight from foot to foot, bringing a hand up to grasp the back of his neck.

“Do you want me to leave? I can like call someone else to come here instead-”

“Yeah,” he breathed, your eyes widening in response. “Wait!, I mean, no! I mean, like- Jeno, no wait, you-” he stopped himself, taking a deep breath in and out, facing you with a serious expression.

“Don’t leave. Just help me shift this stuff upstairs.” He handed you two boxes stacked on top of each other. Not wanting to get in his way, you decided to turn to walk the other way up the stairs but you seemed to have turned too sharply, the smooth surface of the floor and the water on your slipper causing you to trip, landing roughly on the floor, boxes scattered elsewhere as the only thing you could focus on was the sharp pain that shot through your ankle.

Mark had immediately put down whatever he was holding, shocked sounds escaping him at an uncontrollable rate as he made his way to your side, asking you if you were okay, his eyes scanning your limbs rapidly to see if you had injured yourself.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, whatever’s in those boxes must be broken because of me-“

“Even now you’re still thinking of the boxes?” he gave you a displeased look.

“Huh?” you frowned.

“I mean, whatever was in the boxes was probably really important....”

He shot you a look, “so are you, you know....you’re like....” he looked away, “important...and stuff.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that threatened to bubble from your throat, “oh my God, please shut up and get me off the floor before you continue.”

“Are you hurt anywhere?” Mark asked, making you snort in reply.

“Yeah, my heart.”

“Huh?”

“My leg, Mark. My ankle really hurts,” you pointed at your ankle, letting him hobble you over to the nearest bench you could find, awkwardly trying to point your gaze elsewhere when he knelt down in front of you and took off your slipper, “oh my-Mark don’t, that’s gross! Please, my feet are wet!”

“Shut up, can you just-“ he shot you a look, “let me do this, I know what I’m doing. This happened to the basketball guys all the time.”

You nodded slowly, still trying to avoid looking at him in fear that you’d get even more shy than you were now.

“That was like a metaphor, you know, in case you didn’t get it.”

“Mark, I didn’t take literature,” you added pointedly, earning an eye roll from him, choosing to press particularly hard on your ankle at that point.

“Sorry if I...you know, annoyed you last night or something,” you muttered, finally making eye contact with him when he looked up at you with an unreadable expression.

“No, I sort of was being a dick to you last night... I was just kind of...stressed I guess,” he shrugged, continuing to massage at your feet.

“Look, Mark. You obviously know about everything that happened yesterday afternoon right?” he looked up to nod at you, “and you can say that you weren’t the least bit worried?”

He let out a scoff, “What? Of course I was worried! I was so pissed off-”

“Mark that’s precisely why I didn’t want to tell you in the first place! I knew that you had a lot going on and a lot that you needed to take care of, and worrying about me was the last thing I wanted to add to your list of things to do,” you told him, seeing his ears start to tint red.

“Yeah but how do you think it feels for the girl I like to leave me out of things like this?” he asked you, a challenging tone laced in his voice.

“Wait, you like me?” you asked.

Mark’s eyes widened, “shit, wait...that was not how I planned to tell you.”

He let go of your leg, standing up and taking a seat next to you, turning his body to face you. “Okay, rewind. Pretend I didn’t say that,” you nodded at him, trying your best to stifle your laugh but you could feel yourself grinning widely at him.

“I like....wait, do you have a thing with Jaemin?” He narrowed his eyes at you, using his index finger and middle finger to cross each other.

You burst out laughing at that, especially because Mark’s sincere pout made it even funnier, “no, of course not. Who even told you that?”

Mark let out an annoyed groan, “not important, anyway. As I was saying, I didn’t wanna tell you because I didn’t want to impose anything on you, not with the whole possible Jaemin situation anyway. Also because...you know.....secret boy stuff.”

“Secret boy stuff?” you quirked an eyebrow at him.

“I was scared, okay?” he glanced up nervously at you before looking down at his interlocked fingers and continuing, “I thought...it’d be weird for us to keep being friends if you didn’t feel the same way, and I didn’t want things to just end like that, you know?”

You nodded slowly, “I get it, you and your secret boy stuff,” you smiled, reaching out a hand to pat him on the head.

“I guess I only realized how much I actually...oh my god this is so embarrassing to say but...I only realized how much I liked you when I heard what those committee members said to you. And I just, kind of, felt really horrible because of how I was just over here acting like I was having the hardest time when you were too.”

“You weren’t acting, Mark.”

He contemplated mentioning to you how he sometimes pretended to be busy with work so you would give him attention but decided against it, lest you stopped doing that.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better…I like you too, you know,” you told him, enjoying the way his eyes widened, his gaze immediately flitting elsewhere from being too shy to keep your gaze.

This time it was Mark’s turn to laugh, shaking his head as a soft smile found its way onto his features, “we’re kind of stupid, aren’t we?”

You looked at him, not being able to resist smiling at the sight of him, “very,” you nodded your head.

===

The last day of the camp brought the usual, photo taking, bag packing, you and Jeno bringing the leftover snacks from the camp home for yourselves. Everything seemed as if it was just like any other camp, but Mark was insistent on finding every opportunity to remind you he was dating you now.

“Here, let me carry your bag,” he offered as you were walking down the stairs to the front entrance of your church, saying goodbye to the campers that walked past the both of you to leave.

“Mark, just put it on the floor we’re not even leaving yet.”

Donghyuck snickered at your comment, holding out his bag in front of Mark, “I’ll gladly let you carry mine.”

“You guys need a lift? My mom’s sending me home,” Chenle jogged over to you guys, earning murmurs of ‘no’s and ‘its okay’s except for the ‘yes please’ that Renjun squeaked out, practically wobbling under the weight of his duffel bag.

“My mom can send you back, unless you’re coming over to my place?” Mark told you, or more like asked you.

You hummed, “I don’t know, I kind of feel like going home and taking a good shower, maybe I’ll come over after that?”

Mark grinned, nodding in approval.

“You guys haven’t gotten enough of each other yet? I’ve seen enough of Jaemin to last me 5 years,” Renjun shot you and Mark a disgusted look.

You were caught off guard when Mark slung his hand over your shoulder, pulling you closer rather abruptly, squishing your face against him “never,” he said confidently.

Gagging sounds resounded around the group, Donghyuck letting out a pained groan, “I kind of miss when they weren’t aware of each other’s feelings now,” he cringed, earning a high five from Renjun.

“I think it’s kind of cute,” Chenle piped up, earning a handshake from Mark, “thanks for the support, man.”

Jaemin burst out laughing, “Chenle’s opinion doesn’t count he thinks everything is cute.”

You saw Mark’s mom’s car drive into the church, nudging Mark gently, “hey, your mom is here.”

After saying goodbye to the guys you got into the car, not missing the knowing look Mark’s mom was giving Mark but choosing not to say anything about it.

“Y/N’s coming over later, mom, so you can cook more for dinner.”

“uh-huh, alright,” she smiled. She’d already heard from Donghyuck about what happened that very morning when she met him in the church so she wasn’t surprised in the least, especially when she heard from Donghyuck about how Mark was so shy he had to stop to giggle first before asking if he could hold your hand.

You were home sooner than you’d wanted to be, stepping out of the car and bidding Mark and his mom goodbye with a ( too breathless-sounding ) “see you later” and once you were gone, Mark let out a big sigh, fanning his face as he made eye contact with his mom in the rear-view mirror.

“Finally, huh.”

“Well, you know...I like her.... and stuff.”

[irwinkitten]

got lucky | c.h

requested by anon: ok so for the bi!reader concept: last year i ended my relationship w this girl the main reason was because she was really insecure and jealous especially about me being bisexual like anytime i would talk to a guy she would just get so upset about it and she would make such gross biphobic comments and at the time i had so much internalised biphobia that i tried to convince myself i was gay n stayed in the relationship longer than i should have because i rly liked her i guess lol anyways (1/4) we ended and a while afterwards i started seeing this guy who i’d known of for ages (friends of friends type situation) but we just never really talked before or hung out but from the first date we clicked and the sex was crazy good like the type of sex were ur ditching ur vibrators cuz he’s that good lmao so one weekend we went to this party together and of course she is also there, i was so surprised and i could see her eyeing us the whole night, so when she came over i was anxious af (2/4) and this guy knew i was bi! it was no secret, i worked really hard to accept myself! so she comes over and she deadass goes “are you straight now? i knew you would end up with a man!” and she’s all smug but also hurt and im standing there like what the fuck and THEN this dumb man goes “ha guess the sex is so good i made her straight again” and i’m literally about to cry over how gross the whole interaction is and im so shocked i can’t even defend myself, i dumped him that night obviously (3/) last messgae: so basically can you pls do a redo of the gross situation where instead of being with that dumb guy its with calum and he is so protective n sweet n NORMAL n encourages u to stand up for urself about bisexuality / your sexuality, because what happened to me happens too often and its disgusting and gross and no one deserves that!! only if u feel comfortable/inspired tho, no pressure!! love u laura, thank u for creating such a safe space for all the queer babies it means a lot 💘 notes: i kinda enjoyed writing this one esp for my sweet anon baby. i love u and i hope this is everything you wanted ♥  warnings: biphobia, implications of emotional abuse

word count: 3.2k

donate to my ko-fi here

-

“Hey what’cha doing sweets?” Calum’s voice pulled you from your musings, your hand idly tracing patterns against the paper but the pen remaining on the desk. You wrenched your thoughts from the spiral you seemed to have fallen down, a smile crossing your lips as you felt your heart flutter at the sight of him.

“Nothin’. Just thinking.” You finally replied as he pulled up one of the spare chairs next to you, the bustling activity of the coffee shop falling into your background noise as his thigh pressed against yours.

“Really? Normally you doodle when you’re just thinking.” He countered with ease and your eyes dropped to the paper, noticing that the pen remained where you’d placed it when you first sat down. Subconsciously you must’ve realised that the route your thoughts had gone were not suitable to put down on paper, your fingers picking up the pen and mind falling blank immediately.

“Oh.” You breathed before placing the pen back down and packing away the pad and pen.

“What’s running through your head, doll?” Calum’s voice was quiet and concerned, you shrugged.

“Just, a lot on my mind is all. You’re not my keeper just because we’ve slept together.” You admitted quietly and he frowned before picking up his bag and for a sinking second you thought he was going to walk off, but instead, he took your bag from your hands and slung it over his shoulder. 

He looked back at you expectantly and you sighed before standing up, leaving the coffee shop with him, your eyes on the floor as you fell into step next to him.

“Your place or mine?”

“E’s gonna be home and I don’t want to hear them rant about me bringing people back.” You muttered and Calum nodded. 

“I think Ash is out. He’ll probably head out to Luke’s if I show up with you.” At his smirk, you rolled your eyes fondly before shoving him towards the bus stop. His indignant “hey!” was only ignored as you two waited for the bus, his arm slung over your shoulders.

Selfishly, you leaned into his touch, trying to ignore the fact that your stomach was doing flips at his touch alone. 

The bus journey was a quiet ten minutes, but Calum seemed to understand that you weren’t willing to talk with so many people around, so he was content to just keep you close, and you were unwilling to pull away until his stop came up.

When you reached his shared house with Ashton, you noted that the car was gone from the driveway and Calum smirked.

“Looks like he’s out. C’mon.” His hand tucked around yours and pulled you inside. And for a second you wondered if you could distract him with sex, but then the guilt appeared and you could feel the tears of frustration appear as your thoughts swirled and you felt dizzy.

Calum had stepped ahead, turning to see you stood leaning against the closed door, head in your hands and he knew something was wrong. Stepping back to you, he dropped your bags and took your hand in his, pulling you upstairs to his room and your stomach twisted uncomfortably.

“Cal I-”

“I’m not suggesting that.” He muttered. You fell silent at that and as he pulled you into his room, you felt unsure, but he gave you no chance to really deny him as he crawled into bed before opening his arms out to you.

“Cal.”

“I know you. You don’t do emotional stuff well but I’m here for a cuddle and an ear if you need it.” You fell into the embrace easily, your head resting on his chest as his arms wrapped around your shoulders, his lips finding your temple as you finally felt something in you snap, the surge of emotions overwhelming and frighteningly vivid. 

“I keep telling myself that I never was a lesbian, that I still found men attractive but Poppy made me feel like having that attraction was stupid since I was dating her and that I was a lesbian and it’s so fucking confusing because I like you, but I can hear her voice screeching that I’m not right, that I’m a lesbian or faking it or a freak.” And for the first time since you left Poppy, you cried.

Calum had been waiting for this. When the split had happened, you’d been ready for it, you’d already left her mentally, but this was what he knew you needed. He knew that the relationship with her had been toxic, but you’d never revealed the extent of her behaviour. 

His heart broke.

“Just because you like both men and women does not mean you should feel so guilty over your sexuality. There’s a B in LGBT for a reason, doll. That’s you. You’re bisexual and you should be proud of that, not ashamed because some bitch with a control issue couldn’t handle the fact that you liked more than women.” 

You found yourself gripping his shirt with your fists as you pressed your face into his chest, trying to stem the tears that seemed relentless. But Calum held his silence whilst you got it out of your system, knowing that you needed to get this off your chest. 

“I’m sorry.” You finally got out, but he simply shushed you. 

“She was a shitty person with an attitude to show. You shouldn’t apologise for the bitch.” His words were simple but it gave you a breath of ease, pulling away as hands rubbed your shoulders gently. 

He was definitely too good to you, but he was there for you regardless and you were certain that you loved him for that.

“There’s gonna be a party on the other side of town in a couple of weeks. Ash took over the old Firefly down on Hartley. He’s revamping before opening the bar to the public. You fancy going?” And you smiled at the gentle distraction he was offering. 

“We get at least a free drink if we show up, right?” And Calum laughed as he kissed your temple. 

“He wouldn’t say no to me. Or you. In fact, I’m almost certain he’s expecting me to do full introductions on that night since Luke and Mike will be there with the others and their girls.” You rolled your eyes. 

“It’s not like I went to school with Luke or anything.” Came your sarcastic retort and Calum laughed as the two of you settled for the evening. 

“Pretty sure Luke last saw you when you started dating Poppy. He’s put two and two together but he won’t say anything unless you mention it. Even then he knows it’s not his place.” Your heart seemed to swell another size in affection for Luke. 

“You’re making it difficult for me to not fall in love with you Cal. Good dick, you know how to use those lips and fingers of yours, you make me feel like I belong and you respect boundaries without me having to ask.” You finally muttered and Calum gave you an almost wistful smile. 

“You may have been with Poppy but that didn’t stop me from being friends with you. You’re someone I’ve genuinely cared about from day one. Not gonna chuck that away because of who you are. Plus growing up with my mom and sister almost made certain I’d be in touch with my feminine side.” He teased but the sincerity and understanding in his tone eased your shoulders. 

Your features softened at the admittance and you pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Then I definitely got lucky to have you in my life at least, falling in love or not.”

—

When the day of the party rolled around, you felt sick with nerves and you couldn’t understand why. 

When Calum rolled up to pick you up—he was driving to Luke’s who lived closest to the bar and you’d both get a ride back to yours before he picked up his car the following morning—he could see the nerves and the grimace on his face spoke volumes. 

“What?” You all but demanded when you were debating outfits. He’d been sitting on the bed watching, but got up and held his hands out to you. 

You took them hesitantly. His thumbs almost immediately started to soothe across the back of your hands to help relax you. 

“Word has gotten around that Poppy is planning to show up. We haven’t exactly been quiet about our relationship, but I didn’t think she’d pull something like this.” And your stomach churned uncomfortably. 

“We’re still going. Ashton promised free drinks and we’ll be in the VIP area right?” You checked and Calum nodded.

“Ashton has already told the bouncers that she’s not allowed near the VIP section. They’re checking and rechecking the lists to make sure she isn’t on one of them.” He explained and you let out a breath of air. 

“Okay. It’ll be fine. It’s being handled and I’ve got you. Now which outfit do you think I should wear?” He studied your face for a second before a smile broke across his lips. 

“The dark purple with the deep plunge. Is it wrong of me to flaunt in her face what she lost?” And you laughed as you kissed him. 

“I mean, yes. But I also know that you want to show me off properly now that we’ve got things really settled.” You murmured and he grinned back unabashedly. 

It was still an uphill battle, but he’d given you a lot to think about. And after gentle convincing, you’d found an LGBT friendly therapist who helped you process your thoughts. It helped you come to terms with accepting the toxic relationship that you’d been in but also it highlighted how beneficial Calum had been as a friend and confidant. 

It also gave you the courage to ask Calum out officially, wanting to be with him entirely and not just in the evenings. 

He took that in his stride and things shifted once more between the two of you. When you opened up to him about some of your sessions, you knew that your trust had been well placed because he never indicated anything to his friends and so you were never subjected to pitying stares or glares. 

You were almost sure that you’d fall in love with him faster than you fell for Poppy. 

The drive to Luke’s was filled with your nerves. You hadn’t seen Luke in years and you were also meeting his two other friends, Ashton and Michael as well as their partners. 

“Ashton’s excited to finally meet you and stop telling me to be careful when I go to yours.” 

Despite Calum living with Ashton, your schedules never seemed to match and more often than not, Calum could be found at your place, a small sanctuary from your hectic lives. 

Ashton never begrudged that time you shared together, but Calum had mentioned a few times about how snappy he was being on the subject. 

“He’ll chill when he realises I’m not out to break your heart or steal something.” You muttered with a chuckle. Calum snorted in return as he pulled into Luke’s driveway. 

Your nerves return full force as he pulls you to the front door and steps in like he lives there. 

“Hey fuckers, anyone about?” He called through and was met with calls of confirmation, another yell following that they were in the dining room. Your fingers squeezed Calum’s tightly and he didn’t hesitate to return it, his thumb soothing across the skin on the back of your hand.

“Look who it is!” A voice crowed loudly as he stepped into the dining room, followed by loud calls of greetings. 

There was a flurry of introductions and you felt like the spotlight was being shone on you, under scrutiny from his best friends gazes once they had greeted their friend and Calum had introduced you. Or re-introduced you in Luke’s case.

“Well c’mon, the last time I saw you we were leaving school. What’s been happening to you?” Luke finally asked, indicating to the seat next to him. A small smile graced your lips as you sat down, Calum falling into the seat next to you as you shrugged. 

“Life I guess? It’s been definitely more interesting with the different jobs and moving about. Building up a social life again.” Luke’s face filled with a frown at that. 

Michael came in next. 

“Building up a social life? Did you not have one?” His words held an innocent curiosity, yet you felt yourself hesitate. 

“My ex was controlling to the point that I couldn’t do anything without their permission. They managed to make me believe that no one really wanted me around and I lost touch with old friends, like Luke.” You glanced to the side and he was frowning. 

The others held varying degrees of stunned shock or disapproval. 

“Well then he was a cunt.” Michael muttered and your eyes refused to meet theirs at the assumptions. Luke stayed quiet but his hand rested on your knee, squeezing it. You shot him a gentle smile in return.

“Well it’ll be good to have you back in our lives. Especially with these two knuckleheads.” He nodded at Ashton and Michael who immediately protested and you laughed. 

It felt like you’d known them for years as you all had a few shots. Ashton, despite being the owner of the bar, wasn’t worried about turning up with his friends. He’d already explained to his staff that he’d be around for the rest of the night once he arrived and he’d told the small groups he’d be here and there. 

After a handful of shots, the group of you made your way to the bar, your arm linked with Calum’s. There were separate conversations happening between you all, their girlfriends including you on their pamper night whilst the boys discussed a possible games night for all of you. 

When you arrived at the club, you saw the queue of people waiting to get in and the subsequent groans from the line as the bouncer let you in, no questions asked. 

Ashton guided the group of you to the VIP section and the music was still loud but you could still hear each other talking. You were chatting away with Luke’s girlfriend, arm still linked with Calum’s as Ashton disappeared to get drinks. 

Calum pulled your attention away briefly, his lips by your ear. 

“I’ve spotted her. She’s not seen us yet so don’t worry.” You barely nodded, acknowledging his words as you listened in, fighting to keep your nerves down. 

The night continued and you were all a few drinks deep. Calum’s arm had barely left your waist all night as you talked and danced and drank. You’d been welcomed into his group of friends with an ease you never realised existed. 

You’d deliberately not tried to seek out Poppy, silently praying that the universe would comply. But as the group of you stood out in the smokers area, huddled together under a heating lamp, your stomach sank as she stepped out, her eyes narrowing on you. 

“Fuckin’ knew it!” You could feel the alarm in your face as you stepped back into Calum, his arm going around you protectively. 

“Poppy, you’re drunk.” You felt curious gazes from your new friends, but you didn’t spare them a glance.

“You break up with me and go running to his arms, I knew you weren’t a fuckin lesbian. Pretending to try it out? Just another straight girl seeking attention. Fucking freak.” She snapped and your stomach sank. 

“Get it through your thick head that she’s bisexual.” Calum snapped in your defence, earning a glare from Poppy. But Calum didn’t shrink from the glare, your glance to his face confirmed he was giving her his own. You were mildly impressed that she didn’t back down instantly. 

“She’s a fuckin liar! Years of my life wasted on this bitch.” She spat at your feet and you took in a deep breath. 

“You don’t get to control me anymore, Poppy. I’ve liked both men and women, but you never liked that because it meant that I had more chances of leaving you. And I wished I’d have left you sooner. Calum certainly thought so.” 

“Of course you fucked the first man to pay you any attention.” Your heart sank once more at her declaration and you felt your mind fall into the old trap that you’d fought with for so long. 

“No she never. In fact she slept with a few girls long before she slept with me. But I was her best friend as she tried to deal with the mess you created in her mind.” Calum snapped back. You felt your heart swell for him. 

Poppy stepped forward, her hand raised but then Ashton stepped in front of you. 

“Get out. You’re no longer welcome in this bar.” He made a gesture and security slowly made their way over. 

“She shouldn’t be fucking welcome!” Poppy yelled back, but Ashton held firm. 

“She is my friend. You are not. Get. Out.” When the bouncer rested a hand on her arm, she shrugged it off and stormed away. Your entire body was trembling.

“So that was the ex, huh?” Michael commented and you could feel your hands trembling as you nodded. “Why didn’t you correct me?” Calum spoke up for you as his hands took yours. 

“It’s been a battle for her. Poppy had convinced her she was a lesbian, that she was wrong for having any attraction to men. In Poppy’s world, either your gay, lesbian or straight. Being bisexual isn’t acceptable in her eyes.” Calum’s arms wrapped around you and you stood there, holding onto him for dear life. 

“Well that makes two of us then.” Michael’s casual comment had your knees go weak and you let out a weak laugh. 

“Thank you Ash.” You finally murmured when you pulled away from Calum. Ashton didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you in a warm hug that was both comforting and reassuring. 

“Hey, you’ve been the best thing for my best mate. And you were friends with Luke once before. I’ve definitely got your back. And I get why you didn’t say anything and don’t hold that against you.” He muttered and you breathed a sigh of relief before returning to Calum’s embrace. 

“More drinks or are we gonna go back to Luke’s?” And you shook your head. 

“Let’s stay. I’m not gonna let her ruin it,” you leaned forwards so your lips were by his ear as the others went inside, “also I want to see if we can christen the bar in one of the toilets.” You breathed. Calum groaned as his grip around you got tighter and he pulled you in for a kiss that promised more. 

“Oh you’re so fucked sweetheart. Especially since I know where the individual lips are and they aren’t attended by anyone.” You held back a moan at that thought before pulling away, your hand in his. 

“Dance first?” And the innocence in your tone made him laugh as he followed behind you willingly. 

“Menace.” The term was laced with affection as he caught up to you, kissing the spot just below your ear. 

You simply grinned in return as you pulled him onto the dance floor, Poppy long forgotten as he danced with you. 

-

@sexgodashton, @goth5sos, @calumsmermaid, @empathycth, @wildflowergrae, @calpops, @rosecolouredash, @cal-puddies, @clockwork124, @loveroflrh, @stellar5sosrecs, @ashtoniwir, @cthla, @liketheydidwithyou, @sc0ttish-wildfl0wer​, @bluehairedtracii, @drummerboy794, @feliznavidaddycal, @i-calumhood, @wokeupinjapanisabop, @converse-luke, @madbomb, @ccnicole02, @youngblood199456, @aulxna, @megz1985, @lukesidentitycrisis, @snapback-irwie, @neonweeknds, @666yourwitchyfriend666, @gamerboymike, @cashtonasfuck, @ashtaway, @conquerwhatliesahead92, @itjustkindahappenedreally, @twoamhood, @kchillout, @damselindistressanu, @colormekaykay, @findingliam-o, @sublimehood, @sugarcoated-pain, @singt0mecalum, @singledadharrington​, @calumspeachy​, @colourfulcalum​, @lostincalum​, @burncrashbromance​, @asht0ns-world​, @a-mnd, @flusteredcliffo​, @loti18​, @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave​, @clumclum-hood​, @fangirl-everythang​, @lashtondaddies​, @calumssunshine​, @ambskiwi​, @abundant-stars​, @caltattoohood, @seedless-vascular, @myescapefromthislife​, @lmao5sosimagines​, @beyoncesdragon​, @jae-writes-fanfiction​, @cxddlyash​, @tresfandom​, @utterly-u-n-p-e-r-f-e-c-t​, @niallisworld​, @lietomevalntyn​, @babylon-corgis​, @monochrome44​, @behind-my-hazeleyes27​, @ghost0fy0u​, @lyllibug​, @bloodmoonashton​, @balsamic-cal, @calumsbaldhead​, @washedout-ky, @calumssunshinee​, @ghostofmashton​, @summerellaz​, @a-little-less-sixteen​, @cashworthy​, @smokeinherlungs​, @longlastingdaydream​, @h0tsos​, @sweetcherrymike​, @5sosnsfw​, @sugar-nico​, @sunnysideblog, @angel-cal​, @samros95​, @maluminspace​, @lukeinblue​, @cakesunflower​, @allamerican-betch​,  @britnicole11​, @gigglyirwin​, @everyscarisahealingplace, @loverofcashton​, @iovehemmings​, @g-l-pierce​, @jannimoeller3​, @wildmichaelflower​, @lukeskisses​, @5sossstan​, @youngbloodchild​, @alloutofcashton​, @tobefalling​, @abb-lan-5sos​, @calumsbub​, @flameraine​, @here-for-the-uproars​, @mateisit-balsamic​, @ilovelukey​, @sarahshepherdblog​

[my-artblog-is-ssjumi]

5, 9, 20, 24, and 25 if you feel like it!!

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

that one’s kinda funny bc on one hand i barely surprise myself with stuff like that bc i’m usually immediately swept away by the excitement of having found an approach to a character whose p.o.v. i haven’t considered before when inspiration hits

on the other hand i have an Ati/Anzu fic somewhere on my harddrive that i never posted and keep forgetting about and i’m surprised each and every time i remember its existence lol

*

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration? 

existing. breathing. being a person. thinking about/watching all the ways in which ppl can and do fuck themselves up. listening to music. that kinda stuff.

*

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

the stories i end up liking the most i usually finish in one session. idk if i’d call those “long” tho since i pretty much only do oneshots these days...

for multichapter stuff i usually go scene by scene like. i only take breaks in between scenes, not within them. (as far as i remember)

tl;dr - both. i think the answer is both.

*

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

love how this question implies that i kept any of that knowledge over time XD which. i most certainly didn’t.

but yeah, while i was writing Placebo i was pretty up to date on topics like depression, drug-induced psychosis, schizophrenia and the medication of latter. which was pretty handy since i was studying psychology at the time and it did help me out later in a meeting with my prof lol. i’m pretty sure what little i remember of that knowledge is mostly outdated by now tho since it’s been like. 13 years or so.

i also used to know a lot about Japanese food and its preparation, table manners, what stuff was available in the 1930s and 1940s, Japanese and American jazz of that time... these kinda things. because of a text rpg i had with a friend that took place over there in late 1945. and yeah. it was as problematic as it sounds lmao

*

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

kinda already answered in question 46 of that other ask game from a while ago

i’m struggling a little finding another example. like. i’m pretty satisfied with almost everything i upload and mostly nostalgic about the older stuff i’m not that satisfied with anymore, but also feel like most of it rly relies on the context to make it “pop”. so. tough choice...

here’s an excerpt from a oneshot about Mike’s feelings about ~Bennoda~ tho that i like bc of the topic and the overall vibe:

It's not like it ruined anything, this funny little word and the meaning attached to it.

It's not like it spoiled something.

It's not like it felt invasive or anything, like dozens and hundreds of eyes were on him even when he's all alone with one of his best friends.

It's not like he could feel them breathe down his neck that one time, that one stupid little time they sat underneath the stars in the gardens behind Laurel House, a few days before Chester went to rehab for the second time, drunk and at a loss for words on how thankful they were to know each other, hands reaching out on their own accord, lips meeting, breaths hitching, hearts beating...

It's not like Chester having been the first to pull away with a bitter "ok, this feels wrong" or how he got up after that and went back inside and left Mike behind, hurt or anything.

And it's not like the snap of a twig and rustling in a nearby bush and clouds passing in front of the full moon, casting shadows on the ground all around him made Mike feel watched, seen, surrounded, or made him panic because it felt like all these eyes on him were basking in his vulnerability, the tears in his eyes, his shaking, his inability to breathe properly, his pain.

No, it's not like that at all.

It's fine.

He's fine.

It's funny!

[...]

He just laughs about someone on twitter asking his wife about That Word.

And jokes when Chester ever so briefly fails to pretend he didn't know about it.

And neither the weak smile on his friend's lips nor the bile rising up in Mike's throat are that bitter at all even.

It's funny, actually.

Kind of, at least.

It's fine.

[duckyaltalt]

「herman tommeraas & cis male」⇾ mercer, ducky, the junior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a pisces and 21 years old. he is studying business, living in gorham and can be tenderhearted, nimble, compliant & taciturn. when i see him i am reminded of fear hidden behind a stoic stare, bleeding from your nose and from your gums, and the night sky with all its stars, with all its mystery and unknown . ⇽「james & 21 & est & they/them.」

hi :D this is the last of my OG characters ... the next two will b sexy n new bt they wont arrive fr a while bc i <3 need 2 hv a steady pace <3 anyways hes. rly sad so. good luck charlie <3 okay bye :D

TW CHILD ABUSE / DOMESTIC ABUSE / ABUSE, VIOLENCE, INJURY, TRAUMA, MENTAL ILLNESS, DRUGS / DRUG ABUSE / ADDICTION , GANGS.

aesthetic.

bruises; from beneath your eyes to the edge of your jaw, aligned against your stomach and the sides of your waist and the groves of your knuckles. bleeding noses and bleeding gums, spat out teeth, tattoos scarred from improper treatment, a facial scar; jagged and old, now, from above your eye to beneath your lip. worn hoodies and scuffed sneakers, sunglasses inside. the night sky, and it’s many stars, and how brightly they shone during the 2019 blackout, and wanting to be up there, with them. knowing constellations by heart. wishing to be the face on the moon. beer bottles and secret exchanges. dark alleys. fear, through the very core of your heart. fear, hidden behind a stoic stare.

basic info.

full name: donovan mercer

nickname(s): ducky but i’m 95% sure he hates the nickname it’s just. Stuck with him.

b.o.d. - march 15th, pisces :)

label(s): the allegiant, the despondent, the grifter, the malleable, the vacant, etc.

height: 5′11″

hometown: hell’s kitchen, new york

sexuality: bisexual bt make it closeted.

pinterest

stats

inspired by: lip gallagher (shameless), freddie mcclair (skins), frankenstein’s monster (frankenstein), fez (euphoria) … that’s it i don’t know any other characters KJNSGLDNVLSDJNFDS

biography.

born in hell’s kitchen to vinny mercer and a mother who ran out of the hospital as fast as she could, as soon as she was able. she’d gone so quick that she’d never given ducky a middle name - just donovan. the younger brother of mercy (shoutout 2 bri)

his father’s the right-hand man of a well known mob boss named lars amaretto, and so, you can imagine the kind of environment ducky (& mercy) grew up in. weapon & drug dealings, interrogations, violence around every corner. a brutal way of living, no place to raise two children.

you can correctly assume that they grew up in a heavily abusive environment, and can imagine the sort of things the two have gone through. ducky was, maybe, the least favorite of their father’s -

- for numerous reasons, and one being that ducky’d always been a sensitive kid. kinder than his brother, and far kinder than his father - kindness is weakness, and ducky was filled with it. too much so, with big brown eyes and a smile that should’ve been able to melt ice. should’ve - but didn’t. and never did, either.

he cried often, and was punished often for it until he learned to stop crying - at least in front of their father, and mercy too, at some point. only in the comfort of his room, with doors locked and blinds drawn closed.

he dreamed, too, dreamt often. he’d been obsessed with outer space since childhood, as long as he could remember. school had once shown man landing on the moon, and ducky wanted that. wanted to be that, wanted to be there, up with the stars, discovering the unthinkable.

but it was discouraged, heavily so - projects destroyed by an angry fist only to be reconstructed to the best of ducky’s ability, with mercy’s help, all throughout the night. he’d saved up for a telescope when he was thirteen, but it’d been destroyed almost immediately when discovered. not a day went by that their father didn’t tell ducky that he was, first and foremost, stupid - and would always be.

to the point where he stopped trying, simply. his grades fluctuated frequently, and it’s a surprise that he hadn’t dropped out of high school altogether.

anyways … at the age of fifteen, he’d have enough. he was sick of the abuse, the pain - the crying behind closed doors, the sneaking around, the constant feeling of needing to escape, impending doom, anxiety attacks in the shower and in school bathrooms and at the back of the bus where nobody sat besides him because he was - that boy, the son of that man, the brother of that brute. he’d been a teenager and he’d already been an outcast by all means - an outcast in his family, no matter how hard he tried to appease vinny, and an outsider everywhere else.

the plan took months of preparation, paper ripped out from the back of his school notebook and stuffed beneath his mattress, details of his escape from a checklist of essential items to makeshift maps of bus routes to different cities.

all for nothing, the moment vinny discovered it, the edge of a map sticking out after a rushed morning.

it’d been the same day he’d gotten the nickname - ducky - the way the wound wrapped below his mouth, and the way it’d begun to heal - puckered, at first, like a duck’s bill. a better name than eyepatch, at the very least. the scar’d run from the arch of his left brow, across his eye, down his cheek, and below his lip, the entire left side of his face a bloody mess afterwards. his eye sustained injury, and not allowed to see a doctor about it, it never healed properly. corneal scarring, impairing his left eye. astronaut dreams destroyed, but not in a matter of seconds. in the matter of an hour, maybe more - and that’d been much, much worse.

he stopped trying to run away after that. tried to be more like their father, more like mercy - more brutish, less feeling. spoke less, and less. spoke hardly at all, unless spoken to first.

still didn’t matter. still lived his days in fear, still knew it’d never change. nothing would ever change.

graduated high school and had been on-and-off attending community college since then. he’d miss days at a time, flunk an entire semester’s worth of classes - gpa dropped further and further. wanted to try, but life got in the way. always got in the way.

hadn’t intended on transferring to radcliffe, but their father’d been missing for a few months then, leaving ducky to handle the drugs side of their business in hell’s kitchen - and mercy’d disappeared, too, leaving their branch in lovell completely open. in a split decision - an opportunity, and opening - something he couldn’t miss, or he’d maybe never get the opportunity again, ducky bullshitted a scholarship essay (plagiarism, tsk) and transferred to pick up where mercy’d left.

this wasn’t very well thought out, because that meant there were no mercers in new york - and lars amaretto? not a very understanding man. more of a brute than their father was, by far. to keep a story short - ducky is missing a tooth (molar, luckily, this time) and is … more rough’d up than he’d like to be, for sure. but mercy’s back, now, and he’s still at lovell, at radcliffe.

and that’s enough.

UPDATE: heehaw. mercy is gone & ducky’s still here. feeling a bit lost - dealt with a lot of shit this summer, new wounds and old wounds and just. a lot. started an underground fight club on campus for some extra cash, reasons unknown. being blackmailed by someone named rocky - someone who knows ducky is skimming cash. god. i don’t know ... danger danger danger danger. nightmare-ville. wrapped up in more walls than ever.

personality.

he’s actually very? intimidating? when you first meet him. mercy’s younger brother, with a criminal’s record almost as long as his - a scarred face and a mean resting face. it takes at least five minutes of conversation beyond small talk before it starts to weigh on your mind that maybe, he’s not as bad as he seems.

and - well, he isn’t. but he’s guarded - so guarded. more-so than mercy, because mercy’s quicker to anger, quicker to react, and ducky tries so hard to drown out the noise. but he’s not a robot, and his facial expressions can give him away in a second.

he’s seen what happened when mercy had a glimpse of something good in his life (though, it wasn’t actually good at all - mercy had someone, at least. at the very least) - and how quickly it’d all fallen, and so ducky puts a barrier between him and others. distant, as much as he can be.

it hurts, because ducky isn’t by any means antisocial. he doesn’t hate people - he wants to be normal, wants to have friends and a girlfriend - or maybe even a boyfriend, god - but he’s so afraid. ducky is, by nature, a very scared person. terrified to his very core. he knows there is always eyes on him, and mercy too, and he knows that nothing is worth getting someone else hurt.

you know him as mercy’s little brother, and he’s quiet you know that - but his name is ducky, and you think - he’s not too bad. and he knows this, knows the doubts. knows that it’ll get back to mercy, eventually, that his brother is nothing more but a pussy. so he fights more than he’d like to, against the guilt that buries itself deep within his chest with every thrown fist. he throws up, afterwards, in the garbage can outside. too much to drink, he says, rare grin - because grins are convincing, and grins with bleeding gums are intimidating. he learned that from his brother.

violence makes him sick to his very stomach. he can’t watch horror films, or even action films, without feeling queasy. there’s been more times than he can count where he’d thrown up after a fight, or after an interrogation, usually in private but in the occasional presence of mercy.

they fight, a lot, sometimes - ducky’s too soft, too weak, and it’s bad and it’s terrible and ducky knows that mercy’s afraid. for him, of their father, and his wraith. ducky knows that if mercy isn’t hard on him now, their father will be harder - and his hits will be, too. still. there’s resentment, small but there, like the flame of a match. he doesn’t know what’ll happen when there’s nothing more to burn, but he doesn’t want to find out. he’s afraid to find out.

he’s still in love with the moon and the stars, and the planet’s - and their moons, too. its subdued, now, though. a silent passion - one that is often not watered, left for rot. he sneaks into engineering lectures, occasionally, or physics - or anything that isn’t business, because he hates his major, but he knows it’s the only chance he’s got to stay at radcliffe. and that’s to follow his brother, to follow his father. a business degree treats you well, teaches you skills you’ll need to know for this type of work.

commits small acts of kindness when nobody looks. doors held open, the meals of elderly folk eating alone suddenly paid. picks up litter besides trash bins, and always cooks extra than what he needs, only to leave it in the gorham community fridge with no name, something for somebody who may need it. it’s these small things that make him feel, just the slightest, better about himself.

because god - there are layers and layers of self-loathing, the result of years of abuse. it’s a labyrinth, and he’d never speak of it - but he can’t stand his own reflection. doesn’t keep photos of his family, only a few sparingly of mercy. his room is messy, but still oddly barren. nothing on the walls except for a poster or two, sheets a standard navy blue and a row of empty liquor bottles on his windowsill.

a liar, sad to say. has little experience with. ehem. intimacy, and the bodies of others, but lies often and says that he does. mostly to his brother, but word travels quick - and he’s not nearly as much as a fuckboy as is rumored, having only been with a handful of girls, if even that. it’s better this way - if people know that he throws others away like they’re nothing. sex is uncomfortable for him, he always feels gross afterwards. wrong, sometimes.

he ghosts often, too, if he does get to talking with anybody. the moment ducky feels a spark, something pulling at his poor heart, he ghosts. he develops feelings too easily, too often than he’d like. has left many friendships without explanation, because of this. you know the priest in fleabag season 2? the scene where he comes to fleabag’s house? yeah. tht’s ducky!

has maybe half the amount of clients that mercy does, but he’s working on it. it’s his first semester at radcliffe.

pretends he doesn’t care as much as he does. pretends a lot, like there’s nothing soft to him. but a trained eye can see clearly through this. even so - even if you can see that there’s more to ducky than violence and drug deals - you’d still have to break through a dozen walls.

in the rare occasion you get him talking - i mean, talking a lot - he’ll talk about space. ramble off a dozen useless facts about dwarf stars and black holes and all of jupiter’s moons. about a video game he likes, about nothing and everything at all. but as soon as he begins, he stops - embarrassed. apologizes, shuts his mouth, disappears to wherever. anywhere but there.

uuuhhh. god. okay so ducky’s got an addiction to xanax. it’s numbing and it’s better than feeling, and he’d rather this than that and it’s. a Thing. we won’t go further into it. besides that - he does smoke weed, does try out some of their products to make sure it’s not … fucked, for their clients, but otherwise fucking hates drugs. social drinker, but still doesn’t like it a lot. hates beer but drinks it often.

overall just … he’s a soft boy, with a big heart - bigger than anybody else in his family, that’s for sure, but his exterior is far different than that, and it’s hard to tell.

purposely loses fights so that he doesn’t have to severely hurt someone. because sometimes he just - he was raised in a violent environment, and sometimes he snaps. sometimes ducky just fucking snaps. and his vision goes red, and he can’t control himself - because need to survive kicks in, and violence is all he knows. if someone pushes ducky - pushes him enough, he breaks. he fights back. it’s all he knows. it’s all he knows. it’s all he knows, and that’s not an excuse - and he knows this, and god, he’s so tired. he is so. tired.

wanted connections.

clients… first n foremost. he needs people to deal to. i don’t think he handles the Hard Shit like mercy does, but like coke and mdma? works for him.

f…riend..s?… like it’s so hard for ducky to be sincere with people but if you don’t mind like … an emotionally distant man who doesn’t even hit 6′ then maybe? he’s your guy? maybe you can break him down a little? chip away at his cold shoulder?

a close…r friend… maybe not like. the best of friends. but at least one normal friend whose world does not revolve around fucking drugs and violence would be nice for ducky. someone he can be a little soft with, as a treat.

hook-ups… not many, because ducky doesn’t really enjoy sex too much but y’know. that’s just how it is. he do be having needs, tho. KDSJGSHDKLFSE god.

fisticuffs!… someone he got into a fistfight with. multiple people he’s gotten into fights with. he’s probably lost them (on purpose) but - mayhaps, some of them, he did not?

gorham roommate… god… i don’t know what these two cld get up to but! maybe give him a sexuality panic but who knows.

unrequited feelings… there’s probably a few of these. whether people are drawn to his fucking ~mysterious~ demeanor (he just has fucking anxiety, man) or mayhaps. mayhaps he has the feelings.

flirtations… he’s never been in a relationship so i can’t really include exes, but he can flirt with people i’d like to think … when he’s drunk. :-)

ghostees… everybody he’s ever fucking ghosted because he’s stupid and is afraid of both friendship and relationships and romance and platonic? feelings of warmth? so sometimes he panics and ghosts people forever. :) spite!

new yorkians… who are familiar with his family or the business they have there

enemies… god. i’m sure he has a lot of these even without attempting to make them. just like, by association, you know? sometimes ducky hates people because mercy does. sometimes he hates people because mercy likes them. JKSDGDSJGFSNLKF

i won’t lie i’m very tired and am having a Troubled Time coming up with connections please. bare with me.

annoyances… i don’t know if ducky can get annoyed very easily but? thorns in his side? something lighthearted? alternately, something Not lighthearted and then ducky :/ goes rogue JKDNGDSNLFK

idk something soft… literally anything soft. please :) give me something soft and cute :) and peaceful and not stressful :)

something ANGSTY and AWFUL… literally. i don’t know. duality of man.

ok i have been awake fr too long i’m going to bed goodnight.

[nockfellblues]

I don't know if you do these kinds of asks but how about reader pulling a hunger games type moment and confronting Larry before he kills himself saying if you go I do too I won't let someone I love die alone type thing.

All aboard the angst train ♥  written as a mini fic! TW for attempted suicide! Reader is gender neutral.

If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline and get the help you deserve. Call 1-800-273-8255. If you are like me and are afraid to call, there are also live online chat options as well, located HERE! 

You’d known for awhile something was... off with Larry. Ever since Sal had officially moved in with Todd and Neil, Larry had been stadoff-ish on a good day, and on bad days would seclude himself in the tree house, Sanity’s Fall blasting from that tiny stereo so loud you could hear it from your shared basement apartment. To say you were worried about his behavior was an understatement. Especially after you’d begun to notice the pattern of near constant headaches, the fact that he was always saying it was too loud in the apartment, the occasional mutter of, “shut up,” to an empty room when he though you weren’t close enough to hear, and the quickly worsening whip of anger he’d been developing… You were walking on eggshells at any given moment.

Finally, it all hit a breaking point. 

You had been helping Larry pack up the remainder of his non-essentials, getting them ready to go over to his new room at Todd’s. It had been a process to pack a lot of his stuff up- it was a whole lifetime to sort through; countless weird knick knacks to decide to keep or not, finding old drawings and sketchbooks from his childhood, finding a random little thing that had been lost years ago tucked away in a dusty corner someplace… 

To be honest, it had been more reminiscing about his childhood and the memories about each of the items you both went through than it was actually packing. But it was fun, and the wistful smile he wore as he told you stories of his mother, his missing father and his years of shenanigans with Sal and Todd made every wasted second well worth it. 

When you unearthed a little silver puzzle box, you expected a fun story and for him to add it into the donation box for the local second hand shop for some needy kid to enjoy it later. But the simple question of, “Trash or stash?” quickly devolved into an argument about how much you didn’t care about his sentimentality or that it was an important object to him- and it just got worse from there- until you gave up, tossed up your hands, and stated you were gonna bring the box you’d finished earlier over to Todd’s while he cooled off, and walked out.

When you’d gotten there, the first thing you did was tell Sal what was up, hoping maybe he’d have some kind of wise words or what you could have done to set Larry off in the first place. Sally, ever the sweetheart, pulled you into a gentle hug, reassuring you that Larry was probably just having a rough patch and that he would talk to him and see if Larry might open up about it. 

Taking Todd up on an offer to stay the night, you threw on a movie and made yourself comfortable on the couch, falling into a dreamless sleep. 

Neil woke you the next morning with a killer cup of coffee and a poor mans breakfast of sugar coated pop tarts. Sally had come around not long after, letting you know Larry had texted him, and they’d be headed to the apartments for some, “Ghost hunting.” He seemed kind of tense but reassured you that he’d talk to Larry today, before he met up with Ash. Of course, you’d thanked him, and settled into Larry’s soon-to-be room to start sorting out some of the easier boxes.

—–

You woke up later, sprawled on the couch, to the sound of Todd rummaging in the kitchen. Yawning, you stretched and made your way out to greet him, smoothing out your bead-head. 

“Hey Todd, how as class?” You asked, grabbing a seat at the kitchen table. 

Todd shrugged, idly stirring an instant noodle cup, “No complaints. How’s Larry’s room coming along? Sal said you were unpacking this morning.”

“Well, I made it through the clothes and some oddball boxes… Did Sally mention anything about Larry by chance?”

Todd shook his head, “No, but he left with Ash almost as soon as he was back, so we didn’t have much time to chat. Knowing Sal, things should be smoothed over. He’s always been able to mellow Larry out like that.” 

With that, you decided to head back and see if Larry was feeling any better after some Sally time. It was getting dark, and the thick clouds looming overhead finally opened into a sweeping downpour just after you had left Todd’s. You stopped under a thicket of trees just off the road, hoping the rain would lessen, when your cell phone went off. 

Larry: [Name] im rly sry. i nvr meant that shit i said.

[Name]: Dude its all good i know youre stressed lately. Im heading back now.

Larry: stay at todds. and just dont blame urself ok? its my time to go.

[Name]: Larry wtf are you talking about? youre scaring me?

Without waiting for a reply you took off towards the apartments at a breakneck run. Bypassing the front door, you ran around the backside of the building to use the back entrance, when you noticed a light on in the old tree house- Then your gaze trailed down to the baggy with a neatly folded paper pinned to the lower steps on the tree.

You felt your blood run cold. He wouldn’t- no. 

“Larry!” You scrambled up the rickety planks, ignoring the note, and all but threw yourself onto the tree house floor. “Larry, don’t!” 

Tucked against the wall of the tree house, just under the little window, sat Larry, an old camping lantern lit in the corner beside him. His eyes were puffy and his hair disheveled, evidence that he’d been crying before. Tears welled in your own eyes as you took in his distraught expression and the bottle of whiskey in his hands. 

“[Name]..?” He whispered your name, and the way his voice cracked brought you to instant tears, and you all but launched yourself at him, pulling him into a desperate embrace. 

“Larry Johnson, you fucking asshole! Don’t you dare- don’t you dare take a sip from that bottle-”

“[Name]-” you cut him off, taking his face into your hands and forcing him to look at you. The circles under his eyes were so deep, and the absolute emptiness in them broke your heart.

“No! You listen here, you fucking string bean- you don’t get to do this. You can’t just… just push me away and expect me not to worry. You can’t just text… text me something like that and not expect me to come running to- to fucking keep you from being stupid! What the fuck am I supposed to do without you?!” You were openly sobbing now, practically screaming at the boy who all but held your entire world in his hands. “You’re all I have! You can’t just-just leave me behind and expect me to move on- who am I without my other half, Larry? Who am I?!” 

He scrunched his eyes closed, tears streaming down his cheeks again, as he shook his head.

“If you fucking kill yourself, I’m going with you. And you can’t stop me.” You knew it was a dirty trick to play, guilting him like this when his soul was this ravaged and he was so vulnerable- but you were being honest. What would you do without him in your life? What about Sal? God, what about poor Lisa? He was so dear to you all, so loved, and he was ready and willing just throw it all away-

“[Name], I-I can’t take it anymore- I just- the cult shit, that demon, the ghosts! The fucking whispers-  they’re dri-driving me insane! I‘m not like you or Sal- I can’t handle this shit anymore!” He finally breaks down into heaving sobs at that, burying his face into your shoulder, and dropping the bottle in favor of a bone-crushing embrace that you readily return.

You kick the bottle away from Larry, as far as you can get it, and quietly thank whoever will listen when the cap pops the rest of the way off, spilling the amber liquid and the mostly dissolved remnants of pills onto the tree house floor.

“…Why didn’t you just tell me? Or even Sal. Someone. You know we’d do anything for you, Larry, absolutely anything.” He didn’t reply, just shook his head and pulled you closer. What the fuck was was this place doing to him? You had to get him out- get him away- Larry’s phone vibrated from the other side of the tree house, but you elected to ignore it, praying whoever was calling was also smart enough to find you both before things got any worse.

He sniffled, hiccuping into you shoulder, “I’m so sorry, [name]. I didn’t mean anything that I said the other day- or anything I said in those other arguments. I just- This- this place is.. I think I’m going crazy-”

You shushed him, smoothing a hand down his hair and he devolved into body-wracking sobs that shook you both with the sheer force of them. Your soul ached for the boy you had known almost all your life- the boy you grew up with, shared secrets with, made countless memories with, and loved with all your heart. 

Why didn’t you see this coming sooner? “I know, Larry, I know. This place- there’s something still wrong with Addison apartments and we’re gonna get you out of here, forever. I promise.” 

“I-I’m so, so sorry, [name]. Please... Please don’t leave me.”

The rain continued to pour in violent sheets outside, but you distinctly heard the frantic voice of Sal, calling Larry’s name, as he ran towards the tree house. You had never felt such absolute relief in your life, even with Larry clinging to you like a lifeline, and the stain of his near-death slowly seeping into the floor of the tree house just behind you.

 “I’m not going anywhere, Larry. I’m with you, always, no matter what happens.”

—fin—

WHEW. I tried to make it so you could read their relationship as either romantic or platonic, and tried to stay as neutral as possible in gender as well! I hope this is alright, and I hope you like it! I’ve actually never seen the Hunger Games so I kinda went my own way ♥

I’d also like to use this space as a PSA:I’ve struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts and tendencies my whole life- don’t let your depression convince you that you are trapped or alone or unloveable. I know its hard, and there’s no easy fix for it, but there are things in life that make it worth sticking around. Even if its something as silly as looking forward to a new game or story or waiting for a flower you planted to bloom, there are reasons to keep living. Please be kind to yourself and remember, even if we’ve never spoken or interacted or existed in the same space, I know that you are worthy of being loved and cared for and you are not alone. 

If ever you feel like you are truly alone in this world, please reach out- there will always be people out here willing to lend a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, and a friend to those who feel lost ♥ I know i will always be open to anyone out there in need of a friend so, please, never be afraid to reach out!

[ahtohallan-calling]

chapter 9 of don’t read the last page is here!

[kristanna / m / multichap / modern au with actress!anna and vetstudent!kristoff]

t-rated version on tumblr, m-rated on ao3 ;)

“Anna…” he said, and for a moment he wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to say. He was so proud of her, how good she was; how she managed to charm everyone she ever met, how much work she put into her performances, how every eye in the room landed on her the moment she stepped in-- and he knew in his heart that in the coming days there would only be more of all of that, more eyes focused on her, more people wanting a little piece of her, more of the world demanding she let a little bit of her light rub off on them.

And still, she cared what he thought.

chapter 9: raindrops

They both agreed it was for the best that Kristoff drove to the beach, even though they were in Anna’s car; she was bursting with excitement, which only exacerbated her habit of talking with her hands.

He kept his own hands firmly on the wheel as she bounced on in the passenger seat. “So they want me to be her, which like-- oh my god, I grew up watching that movie and like...oh my god! I used to just dance around the living room and sing the songs over and over again and drive Elsa crazy, but it was only fair because she was into Star Wars and made me do lightsaber battles with her, but like-- oh my god, I always wanted to be her, and now maybe I will be--”

“Hang on,” Kristoff cut in as he reached over to squeeze one of her flailing hands at a red light. “This is like, the Anastasia who died in the Russian Revolution? This is like, a little kid movie?”

“Well, yeah. In this version, like, her family dies I guess, but it’s not onscreen or whatever, and she got away and just doesn’t know she-- wait. Kristoff, you’ve never seen Anastasia?”

“Um...no?”

“Not even with your sisters?”

He shrugged. “I...maybe I have and just forgot.”

“Well, you’ll have to watch it with me now,” Anna said, settling back in her seat. “That way when this comes out, you can be like everyone else fighting on Twitter about live-action remakes and whether they’re better or worse.”

“I don’t have Twitter, remember?”

“I’ll make you one, just for this. It’s part of the millennial experience, Kristoff.”

“What is?”

“Fighting with someone on the internet by sending reality TV gifs back and forth.”

“Um...if you say so.”

They’d already been driving for forty minutes, and they were getting close to the little cutoff he had found once in college when he’d just needed to get in the car and drive. He’d looked it up later, and the little beach it led to was technically public property, but he’d never once seen another soul out here. It was his favorite place to go when he needed to just be, and Anna was the first person he was ever showing it to. It was odd, but he was somehow nervous about it, worried that maybe for some reason she wouldn’t like it.

He was carefully watching the road signs when he heard a little “oh!” and glanced over at Anna.

“What is it?”

“I think I just saw a raindrop.”

“But we live in LA, it never rains here til--”

She was right. Another raindrop plopped suddenly on the windshield, and Kristoff felt himself deflate as surely as if he were a balloon that had just met its untimely end.

“Sorry, Anna,” he sighed, “just let me find a good spot to pull over and turn aro--”

“What are you talking about? It hasn’t rained in ages, I don’t mind at all.”

“But you wanted to swim, and we packed the picnic basket--”

“So? I can swim in the rain.”

He glanced at her again. “Seriously, Anna, you don’t have to--”

“It’s not a have to. I want to.” She reached over and squeezed his shoulder. “I’m not going to let a little shower ruin our day.”

It was quickly turning into more than just a little shower. As the rain picked up, he turned at last onto the cutoff and braked, not bothering to park. “Seriously, Anna, I--”

“Drive a little more. Onto the beach.”

He did so, holding back his questions. “Okay, now park.”

The moment he did so, she hopped out of the car and scurried to the back. “Anna!” he called after a moment of stunned surprise. “You’re going to get soaking wet!”

She had already opened the trunk; as he turned back to look at her, she cheerfully peeled off her t-shirt and tossed it up to him, leaving her in her bikini top and shorts. “Good thing I wore my swimsuit then, huh? Come back here and help me push the seats down.”

He did, and she pulled out the blanket they’d brought and spread it over the newly flat space in the back of the car. “See? Perfect! And less sand, too.”

She put one hand on his shoulder as she hopped on one foot, taking off her shoes. “Are you gonna swim with me, Kris?”

“It’s going to be even colder than normal with the rain.”

“Good thing you’re here to warm me up then,” she said as she succeeded in getting her other shoe off. “Come on!”

She took off running towards the water, a scream of delight tearing from her throat as the rain plastered her hair to her bare, freckled shoulders. She turned to wave back at him. “What are you waiting for?”

He followed after her, slowly, a wide grin on his face as he watched her run into the water, squealing when it splashed her ankles and she realized how cold it really was. “I warned you!” he called, but she only laughed. 

“Come on in, the water’s fine!”

Lightning flickered in the distance. “It’s about to storm, baby,” he called. “Come back!”

“Come and get me!”

He did, loping down towards the edge of the water, and she ran back out, meeting him halfway and throwing her arms around his neck. She was shivering, just a little, but when he pressed his hands against the small of her back, she sighed happily. “God, Kris, you’re so warm,” she said, nuzzling her nose against his neck. 

“You’ll be even warmer once you get back in the car,” he said, and then she took his hand in hers and they were running towards the car, laughter spilling from them as a crack of thunder sounded in the sky.

Once they were in the backseat of the car again, scooting back far enough that the few droplets of rain that were slipping in past the raised tailgate couldn’t reach them, he leaned against the side of the car as she snuggled up against him, her hair already soaking through his shirt. He pulled the picnic blanket up and draped it over her shoulders; she thanked him with a kiss before settling back against his side.

They sat in silence for a while, watching the rain and the waves as Anna warmed up against him, tucked under his arm. He was still trying to make sense of all that had happened in the last day, of this phone call about the big part and the fact that they’d almost fought and then realized neither of them wanted to and then, most importantly of all, that she’d said she loved him, and he’d said it back, and now at last he could say it whenever he wanted to instead of biting his tongue so it didn’t spill out while he was holding her or talking on the phone or just watching her being, well, her.

"I love you," he said, just to test the feel of it in his mouth once more, his heart beginning to pound; surely he'd imagined it, that she had ever said it at all--

"I love you, too," she said, tilting her chin up so she could kiss the underside of his jaw. "I love you so much, Kristoff, and I love your freckles and your eyes and your nose and your chest--"

 She shifted, straddling his lap so she could face him. "My chest?" he asked, amused.

"Yes," she said, pressing her hands against it and splaying her fingers out with a happy little sigh. "I love it when you pick me up or when you just hold me, and it just-- I just feel so safe, and--"

He kissed her then, too overwhelmed for words, but Anna pulled away after only a moment, determined to continue her list. "And I love the way your hair gets all messy when you sleep, and I love how handsome you look when you wear your glasses, and--"

She paused for a moment to let out a little gasp as his lips slid down to her neck; when he reached her collarbone she let her head loll back. He slid his hands up her back, keeping her pressed close to him, and her eyes fluttered shut. "God-- I think I love your mouth the most-- or maybe your hands-- fuck, Kris!" she gasped as without warning he pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the junction of her neck and shoulder, his tongue flicking over her skin.

Her hands started tugging at the hem of his shirt, and he leaned back just enough to pull it off with her help before capturing her mouth with his own. 

"I love you, too," he panted as he finally succeeded in tugging it off. "I-- everything about you, baby, it's all my favorite-- you're my favorite--"

"And you're mine," she whispered, and then she kissed him again and at last he was starting to believe this was real.

---

How did the meeting with your agent go yesterday afternoon? Sorry, just realized I forgot to ask when you called last night.

.

no worries i know u were tired, i was too so i forgot to say anything haha

but it was good! he gave me everything i need

including the sheet music😱

.

It’s a musical?

.

omg we rly have to find time to watch this movie together

yes but i havent sung much recently

nervous 

.

I can help you practice if you want.

.

omg 

u do music stuff? how am i just now finding this out 

.

Kind of. I’ll be home around 5 if you want to practice there.

Or we can go to your place.

.

urs is better 

elsa having honey over for dinner 👀

so i kind of already told her i would spend the night with u...just in case

is that ok?

.

It’s more than ok. You don’t even have to ask.

.

💕💕💕

ily!! 

.

Love you too.

Anna was there right at five, practically vibrating with excitement as Kristoff opened the door. “I haven’t even sat down yet,” he teased as she burst through the door, her arms loaded with grocery bags.

“Sorry, sorry, I just couldn’t want to find out more about this musical gift you’ve been hiding from me!” she chirped, opening his fridge. “I brought stuff for dinner if that’s okay. And breakfast. Since you were at work or with me all the time the last few days, I figured you hadn’t had time to go to the grocery. And I got those carrot cake cupcakes Sven likes. I still feel bad about the sofa.”

He felt a swell of affection in his chest. “You didn’t have to do that,” he said, coming up behind her and pulling her into an embrace. “But thank you.”

“I wanted to do it,” she said, turning in his arms so she could rise up on her toes and kiss him. “You do so much for me, I just...I don’t know.”

He just held her for a long moment, his heart skipping a beat when she sighed in contentment and nestled her face against his shoulder. There was so much about loving her that he, well, loved, but this-- just holding her, feeling the way her breath synchronize with his as the tension sank slowly out of her body, feeling himself relax as well and knowing it was all just because they were together-- well. It was difficult to imagine anything else ever making him happier.

“Love you,” he said softly, and she tightened her arms around his waist.

“Love you, love you, love you,” she said cheerfully before pulling away a little, still keeping her hands on his sides. “Are you still up for helping me practice? It’s okay if you’re too tired or need to study or something. But you might want to wear headphones if that’s the case, because the audition is this Friday, and I really do need to practice, and I’m, well, out of practice.”

Kristoff huffed out a laugh and took her hand, leading her to his room. “I’ve got time. No tests ‘til next week. No promises that I’ll actually be of help, though.”

Anna hopped a little with excitement as he opened the door. “Are you going to sing with me? Or do you have, like, a keyboard or something?”

“Or something.”

She hopped up onto the bed, sitting cross-legged in the middle of it as he went to his closet, already feeling nervous even before he turned around and showed her the guitar in his hands. She gasped in surprise, her hands flying up to cover her mouth. “Oh! I didn’t know you played!”

“I don’t, not really,” he said hastily as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“Well, you have your own guitar, so that has to count for something.”

He shrugged, fiddling awkwardly with the tuning pegs and plucking at the strings. “It’s just...I don’t know. My dad, uh, he taught me a little when I was younger, and then I had to do some kind of music class in college, and it kinda...it was relaxing, I guess. And then I found this one at a thrift store and just...got it on a whim. I, uh, I thought I would just, y’know, play for my mom some, I learned some songs for her birthday one year and...um…”

He felt a flush creeping up his cheeks, knowing he was rambling. “Anyway. So I don’t really play. But I can try for you.”

Anna’s eyes were soft as he looked at her over his shoulder. “Will you sing for me?”

His face only grew warmer. “I, uh, I-- Mom really likes Elvis, so that’s the only thing I know well enough to sing along to, and I know that’s kind of lame--”

“No, it’s not, really,” she said immediately, scooting forward so she could sit behind him, tucking her chin over his shoulder and sliding her arms around his waist. “Please, Kris?”

“Anna…”

“I love you,” she said sweetly, pressing a kiss just under his ear, and how could he say no after that?

“Fine,” he grumbled, and she scooted back so she could watch him, her eyes bright. “Um...what song?”

“You pick.”

He started strumming a few chords, wishing his heart would slow down a little. “I...I really...I’m not very good…”

She just rested her chin in her hands, smiling at him so broadly he thought his heart would burst. He could have gone on staring at her all day, the way the afternoon sunlight slanted through the window and illuminated her hair and brought out her freckles and made her eyes shine bluer than anything he’d ever seen-- but she was waiting for him, and he knew that for whatever reason this meant something to her, and so he cleared his throat and started to sing. 

“Wise men say…”

His voice was shaking; he had to look away from her as he sang. He’d never performed for anyone besides his family, and even then he’d only been able to do it after secretly downing a shot of whiskey. 

He kept going, anyway, and after another line or two, he felt the bed shift and then the press of Anna’s cheek against his upper back as she snuggled against him. He stumbled for a moment, his heart and his voice stuttering, but as she pressed a kiss between his shoulderblades suddenly his nerves began to fade away.

“...for I can’t help falling in love with you,” he finished, strumming the final chord and realizing that at some point, his heart had finally slowed down.

Anna’s arms came over his shoulders as she embraced him, pressing a damp kiss against his cheek. “Thank you, Kris,” she sniffled, and he set the guitar down so he could turn and hug her back.

“Why are you crying, baby?” he teased gently as she swiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt-- his sweatshirt, he realized suddenly, one that was so big on her it covered her hands. Had she really been wearing that all day? “Was it really that bad?”

“That was the sweetest thing that’s ever happened to me in my whole entire life,” she said, and he couldn’t help but lean down and kiss her, and then again on her forehead for good measure. 

“So where’s the music you need to practice? Your turn to sing for me.”

“It’s in my backpack,” she said, but made no move to lean down and get it from the floor, instead pressing a contented kiss against his cheek. 

He felt his heart jump, just as it always did, even now; somehow it always surprised him, the easy affection she gave him so freely, so happily, just because she could, because she wanted to, because as unbelievable as it seemed, she loved him. He held her close for another moment, just because he could, and then said, a hint of regret in his voice, “If we keep just doing this all night, then you’ll never get to practice, and I know this audition is really important…”

Anna sighed and slipped out of his arms to crouch on the floor and pull out a folder full of sheet music. She spread it open on the bed and considered it all for a moment, her fingers dancing in the air just above it all. “They told me I can just pick whichever song I want to do for it, even if I’d rather do one of the other characters’ ones because they’re still finishing up a couple of new additions...hmm…”

She glanced up at him. “There’s tabs written up at the top. Can you play based on that?”

He nodded; though he’d downplayed it out of nervousness, he actually did play fairly regularly. It had started just for the class, but then he’d found himself pulling out the guitar and practicing whenever his major classes got to be too much, and then he’d find himself returning to his notes with a newfound sense of clarity. He’d gotten an A in that initial music class and been surprised, even though over the course of the semester he’d put in dozens of hours of practice. He still pulled it out of the closet whenever work or school got too overwhelming, though never when Anna was over or Sven was home; the only people who’d ever heard him play at all had been his professor and his family-- well, until now. 

Anna settled on a song and shifted the music towards him. “Do you think you can do this one?”

“If you don’t mind me making some mistakes, sure.”

He started strumming slowly, just sounding out the chords, then nodded resolutely. “Okay. Ready?”

She nodded, and he started playing through the song, nodding to give her her cue to come in, but instead of singing she flushed bright red and looked away. Kristoff raised his eyebrows and played the intro again, waiting for her to start, but she shook her head. He set guitar down and asked playfully, “What, you can make a movie for the whole world to see, but you can’t sing in front of your boyfriend?”

“It’s different,” she squeaked out, her cheeks only growing redder. “Your opinion matters.”

He huffed out a laugh, knowing that this gently teasing back-and-forth was the only way to coax her into doing it, even though inside his chest he suddenly felt so warm he just wanted to toss all the music aside and pull her back into his arms. “You made me sing first. It’s only fair, baby.”

“Okay, okay-- just-- do it again, okay? I promise I’ll actually sing this time.”

He started strumming again, and this time she did, though she had to look away. He did his best to hide the surprise he was feeling; he’d heard her sing back when she’d performed in school musicals, and she’d been good then, but now...Jesus. No wonder they wanted her for this part. 

When they finished the song, the last note still shimmering tremulously in the air, he tossed the guitar aside and leaned over to pull her into a hug, his arms only tightening when she let out a little yelp of surprise. “Was that okay?” she asked hopefully, her hands settling on his back.

“Anna…” he said, and for a moment he wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to say. He was so proud of her, how good she was; how she managed to charm everyone she ever met, how much work she put into her performances, how every eye in the room landed on her the moment she stepped in-- and he knew in his heart that in the coming days there would only be more of all of that, more eyes focused on her, more people wanting a little piece of her, more of the world demanding she let a little bit of her light rub off on them.

And still, she cared what he thought. 

“You’re going to nail this, baby,” he said and felt her melt a little against him. “You’re going to get this part and be a fucking star, and I’m gonna be cheering you on the whole way.”

Whatever came next, whoever demanded something of her, whatever she demanded of herself-- he would be there, in the quiet moments and the loud, an anchor for her, as long as she wanted him to be the one she came home to, whether that was for only another week or for a lifetime.

And, if he was being honest, he was starting to hope it would be the latter.

[team-free-will-oneshots]

Picture Perfect

Title: Picture Perfect Request:  Can I request a Cas x reader imagine where instead of Mary getting stuck in the Apocalypse world, the reader gets stuck instead. But their time in the Apocalypse world is very traumatic and when they’re rescued (and let’s pretend Michael doesn’t get to their world), everyone tries to help them recover but they only get worse and they have severe hallucinations so they run away and Cas barely manages to convince them to come back. Like major angst with a bit of fluff at the end? -anonymous, and Since you said you need fic inspiration, can you write a Cas x reader fic where the reader loves taking Polaroids and takes one of Cas? -anonymous Pairing: Castiel x Reader Warnings: PTSD, angst, mentions of torture, angst, canon-typical violence, angst, oh did i mention angst?? Word Count: 4,042

note; hey hey this request rly inspired me so i hope u like it!! also i changed it from hallucinations to more of a flashback because that’s just how the story kinda flowed, hope that’s okay! hope u enjoy!

“Cas! Over here!”

The angel turned just as you snapped the photo, capturing the confusion etched into his brow and the puzzled squint of his eyes. You grinned as the camera spat out the polaroid, and you shook it absentmindedly as Cas walked across the room and sat next to you.

“What is it?” he asked, and you showed him the photograph as the picture slowly developed. It wasn’t saturated yet - just a faint, grey hint of Castiel’s face peeking through the bleeding shadows.

“A polaroid! I got this the other day, and thought my first photo should be of something I love,” you informed him cheerfully, holding out your camera to him as you explained. A small smile pulled at his lips as he took the camera from your hands, turning it over curiously in his own.

“Perhaps I can take one of you, as well?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, and you ducked your head abashedly as you tucked your hair behind your ear.

“I gue-” Your response was cut off by the click of the camera. “Hey!” you protested, though you couldn’t restrain the laugh that bubbled from your lips. You clambered into his lap, feeling his arms circle your waist as you snatched the photo from him, wincing as it developed.

“You could’ve given me some warning!” you scolded. “I look horrible!”

“I think you look beautiful,” Castiel informed you, tone solemn despite the smile playing on his lips. You couldn’t help but return it before you leaned in and pressed your mouth to his. His body curved around you, his skin warm on your own as his tongue sought yours. He tasted of rain and smelt of the forest as you leaned into him, melting into his embrace as the world around you seemed to crumble away…

Castiel swallowed as he stared down at the polaroid in his hand, his grip so tight the edges were crinkling beneath his knuckles. His jaw was taut as he set it back in the scrapbook in front of him, sealing it down with tape that had long since lost its grip. It had been your idea to make it - the black leather book was packed with polaroids the two of you had taken during your time together, secured to the pages with peeling masking tape and embellished with pressed leaves and flowers twisting through the empty space. The date each photo was taken was carefully printed at the top of the page in black ink.

The angel carefully placed the book back on your desk - the spine was worn from his opening it so often, and the last thing he wanted was for it to fall apart in his hands. The two of you might add to it yet - at least, that was what he told himself; the alternative was too painful to even consider.

It had almost been a year since he’d last seen you, before you’d found yourself trapped in the Apocalypse world Michael had destroyed. Sam and Dean had all but given up on you for the first few months, but Castiel refused to entertain such notions; the idea of a life without you was impossible to imagine. But the days were piling up quickly, each feeling like an eternity to the angel, even with the many millennia he already had under his belt. And with each day that passed, the chances of your survival grew smaller and smaller.

Cas could only hope that Jack had found you - the Nephilim had followed you into the Apocalypse world a few months ago, after a failed rescue attempt conducted by the Winchesters and himself. He busied himself nowadays with aiding Sam and Dean in their quest to replicate the portals Jack had managed to open, but sometimes, it all became a bit too much. It was these times that he retreated to your room in the bunker, leafing through your scrapbook as he laid on your bed and breathed you in. He found himself here a lot lately.

Hopefully, he’d soon be able to soothe himself with your actual presence.

“Cas, you ready?”

Sam’s voice was gentle but firm, and Cas looked up to the door, nodding slowly. “Yes. Yes, I am.” Sam offered him a tight smile as he left. Before following him, Cas spared a final glance to the scrapbook before retrieving the polaroid he had held earlier, slipping it into the pocket of his trench coat before following in Sam’s footsteps.

When he reached the library, he saw Rowena sitting nearby with a spellbook whilst Lucifer was bound with his neck sliced open, spilling tendrils of glowing archangel grace into the bowl below. Dean’s eyes met Cas, and the Winchester set his jaw as he nodded his greeting.

The portal opened, a rift tearing through the air and bleeding a golden glow that danced over the floor and illuminated the dust motes dancing lazily through the air.

“We’ll find them,” Dean said. Cas exhaled shakily.

“Yes. We will.”

---

You gasped as you were tossed back into your cell, bloodied fingernails clawing at the stone as you scrambled towards the door before it could close. Michael’s henchman laughed before slamming it in your face, and you heaved dry sobs as your shaking palms met cold steel. You leapt back like it had burned you, retreating to the corner and drawing your knees up to your chest as you tried to breathe. You weren’t physically harmed, not anymore - Michael always made sure to heal you at the end of your daily “meetings” so that you wouldn’t die on him before the next one. You weren’t sure why he hadn’t killed you yet - you thought it was quite clear you had no information to offer him.

Seemed like the sadistic bastard just liked to torture you.

Eight months and twenty-four days - that was how long it had been since you’d seen your friends, your family, Cas. You’d long since given up hope of seeing them again, and you could feel your memories of them fading no matter how tightly you clung to them. Their laughs, their hugs, even their faces were being distorted and replaced by the horrific days you spent here. You could finally imagine what Sam had experienced when he was locked in the cage with Lucifer and your world’s version of Michael.

You’d feel sorry for him, but it was impossible for you to look to the past when your present always seemed to drag you away, tainting your treasured memories with the taste of blood and the echoes of your screams.

The cold air bit your skin, and you could catch a glimpse of the night sky through the barred window far above your head. You shivered, huddling into yourself, trying to steal what little sleep you could. You barely managed five minutes before the nightmares had you screaming again. After a few failed attempts, you hauled yourself to your feet and began to pace.

Yes. That was good.

Your heart was pounding, but at least you could attribute it to movement now, and not the heavy weight of what was to happen to you again come morning. The tears on your cheeks dried as you focussed on the tread of your footsteps. Loose stones bit the soles of your feet, but the pain was nothing compared to that which you’d already encountered. You couldn’t escape it, even in these small moments of reprieve. In some ways these moments were worse - you had nothing to entertain you but imaginings of what was to come.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

The sound of your heartbeat bled into the sound of your footsteps, and eventually, you could feel your eyelids growing heavy.

I should sleep, your brain whispered. You nodded uncertainly to yourself, folding yourself back into your corner. Before your eyelids fell shut, you found yourself staring at the picture perfect sight of the trees, just visible amongst the darkness outside of your window.

A half-smile curved your lips as you remembered Castiel’s hand in yours, a camera in your hand as you snapped a photo of him in the forest near the bunker before collecting some nearby wildflowers to press into your scrapbook.

Your smile fell as you leaned into sleep, while the bright wildflowers melted into puddles of blood, and the click of the camera morphed into the snapping of bones.

---

“What do you mean, ‘they’re not here’?” Castiel demanded, and Jack’s expression was apologetic.

“I couldn’t help them - I tried for months, I swear, and when I joined these people… I thought we might stand a chance,” he said, nodding towards the rebel base surrounding him. It hadn’t been easy gaining their trust, but Bobby had given him a chance when he dropped Mary Campbell’s name, and he’d proven himself ten times over. “But Michael slaughters anyone who approaches his compound. It was a suicide mission. But I’m getting stronger, so we’re planning another rescue mission, and this time I think I can take him!” he added fervently. Castiel mulled over Jack’s words for a few moments.

“So they’ve been trapped with Michael? All this time?” he asked, and Jack nodded tentatively. Castiel’s jaw tightened, while Dean ran his hand over his face in the background. Sam’s eyes flashed with despair - he knew all too well what kind of torture archangels were capable of. Castiel tried not to dwell on that for too long.

“We need to save them,” Cas said, voice hard and eyes harder. Jack nodded.

“And we will.”

Castiel’s hands clenched into fists by his sides, and Dean clapped him on the back reassuringly.

“Kid’s right. We’ll get ‘em back, Cas. We won’t leave till we do.”

Dean’s voice was uncertain, but Cas pretended not to notice. His hand fell to his pocket, and he dug through the stiff fabric until his fingers closed around the crumpled polaroid. He squeezed it desperately.

I’m coming, Y/N, he thought. I’m coming.

---

Footsteps. Shouting. Screaming.

You jolted awake, expecting the noise to dissolve with your dreams, but as you blinked the sleep from your eyes the sounds only grew louder. Your breath caught in your throat as you heard the approaching footsteps grow closer.

“No,” you whispered. Your voice was hoarse and your tongue drier than sandpaper, and you clambered to your feet as you ran to the door, straining to peer through the crack along the side. They couldn’t be coming for you - not yet, it was too soon!

It was hard to see outside - the lighting was dim, but the darkness was broken by sudden strikes of light that lasted for only a few seconds before fading. You heard the sound of bodies hitting the floor, skulls cracking against concrete. Your heartbeat hastened, and your palms were slippery against the door as you pressed closer. The metal was cold on your face, digging into your skin as you pressed your eye closer to the slim opening.

“Where are they?!”

That voice… you recognised that voice. But you’d never heard it so angry, so acidic with rage. Your breaths were coming in short, sharp gasps as your eyes widened at the unfolding scene. A tall figure slammed one of Michael’s henchmen against the wall, growling something you couldn’t decipher before slamming something between their ribs. You caught sight of a glint of silver - an angel blade.

Another shard of light scattered over the walls as the henchman screamed. The figure stepped back, and the corpse dropped to the floor with a heavy thump. All fell quiet as the figure turned to your door - you still couldn’t make out their face.

They took a step forward and you threw yourself backwards, crawling towards your corner, fear flooding your veins as readily as blood. Some part of you knew there was no need to fear; the enemy of your enemy was your friend. But fear seemed to be the only emotion your body was capable of producing anymore, and so you buried your face in your knees and did the only thing you could.

You waited.

There was a murmuring of voices outside, a brief pause broken by the clinking of metal, and suddenly the door was creaking open. It scraped over the floor, grating against the stone with a rasping sound that made you wince.

You heard footsteps urgently approach you, felt them vibrating across the floor, and you didn’t realise you were shaking until a firm, gentle hand was clasping onto your shoulder. You flinched, and it was quickly removed.

“Y/N. Y/N, it’s me. You’re safe.”

You dared to spare a glance, blinking a few times before the face came into focus. Your mouth opened, but your mouth was too dry to form words. You swallowed, and your voice came out as a pitiful croak.

“Cas?”

Castiel nodded, eyes heavy with concern.

“Yes, it’s me. Are you hurt?” he asked, and you could detect the anger lying under his worried tone. You found yourself shaking your head, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

“Good. I’m going to help you up now, alright?” he murmured. You nodded, and suddenly his arms were around you, lifting you to your feet like you weighed no more than five pounds. Your legs were shaking, but they held. Though he removed his touch, Cas kept one hand hovering at your back, ready to catch you if you fell.

You waited for him to lash out, to hit you, for his face to shift into Michael’s as it was revealed that this was all a cruel joke meant to torment you - but he didn’t. Castiel’s eyes, though weighed with distress, remained his own. Even so, you didn’t dare allow yourself to relax.

“Let’s get you home, alright?” he said, and you nodded.

“Okay,” you managed. Cas shed his trench coat, draping it over your shoulders before offering you a hesitant smile. You didn’t return it, but let him guide you from the room.

Fresh air hit your face for the first time in months. The wind made your eyes water and you pulled Cas’s coat tightly around you, opening your mouth to eagerly gulp down the sweet-tasting air. Trees loomed over you, casting long shadows that leached the scenery of its colour. The sky was heavy with swollen clouds, pregnant with rain that had yet to fall. Castiel ushered you to a bus, guiding you to the back and shielding you from the curious stares cast your way.

You idly looked out the window as the bus roared to life, watching the scenery blend into a blur of green and grey as the bus stuttered along the rough dirt trail. Castiel’s presence beside you felt neither comforting nor frightening; you felt numb, too afraid to hope for fear it would be snatched away from you.

Cas shot you anxious glances, but didn’t say anything until you were back in the bunker. The once-familiar library might as well have been an alien planet - something from a dream you’d had long ago that had long since faded from your mind, leaving only a whisper of sentimentality tugging at the corners of your thoughts.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Cas suggested, and you jumped at his sudden closeness. He stepped back, raising his hands non-threateningly. You let the tension seep from your shoulders and waited until your heart stopped pounding before you nodded.

“Okay,” you weakly replied. The angel helped you bathe, and once you were clean and snug in your pyjamas, he took you to your room. You immediately crawled beneath the covers, drawing them up to your chest as you vaguely remembered the last time you’d laid here. Cas had been with you, and you’d been pressed snug against his chest.

Cas was here now, too, but he’d taken a seat in the armchair across the room; your hands fisted in cold, empty sheets. You were a shell of who you used to be - you could feel it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, nor try to fix it.

“Can I get you anything?” Cas fretted. “Food? Water?”

You nodded, and Cas promptly disappeared, returning a few moments later with some crackers and a glass of water. “Here… I wanted to get you more, but Sam said we shouldn’t overload your system…”

You nodded again, accepting the plate and nibbling on the edge of a cracker. The salty taste flooded over your tongue as it crunched under your teeth, and was easily the best-tasting food you’d had in… well, eight months and twenty-four days. You inhaled the meal, taking small sips of water between each bite.

“Thank you,” you managed, glancing up at Cas and offering a ghost of a smile. He nodded, shifting closer to perch on the end of your bed.

“You’re welcome. I… I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through, but… you’re safe now,” he told you.

“Where’s Michael?” The words slipped from your tongue without thinking, and you saw Castiel’s face twist in pain at the fear still lingering in your tone.

“He’s not here - he’s trapped in the Apocalypse world. He can’t hurt you,” he promised, and you nodded, letting his soothing words wash over you like honey.

“Okay.”

Cas paused, eyes meeting yours for a moment before darting away. “I know Sam and Dean would love to see you,” he said eventually, and you felt a flicker of recognition at the names. “Would you feel comfortable with that?”

You shrugged, and Cas licked his lips in thought before standing up and leaving the room. When the door opened again, two familiar people appeared in his absence.

“Hey, Y/N. How’re you feeling?” Sam’s voice was practically dripping with pity, and you ducked your head.

“Fine.” Your voice cracked. No one mentioned it.

“It’s good to have you home,” Dean said. “For a while there, we weren’t sure we’d get you back.”

“Dean!” Sam chastised, but you shook your head and looked down as you fiddled with your blanket, fingers tugging at the loose threads.

“Me either.”

Someone sighed. You didn’t look up to see who.

The mattress dipped and the springs creaked. That made you look up.

Sam was sitting at the edge of your bed. “Listen… I get how you must be feeling. Trust me, I get it. If you ever want to talk about it…”

Talk about it.

It?

Your brain couldn’t quite process his words, until it suddenly could, overwhelming you with an onslaught of memories.

Pain. Laughter. Screaming. Pleading. Crying. Bleeding.

Torture.

‘It.’

“Y/N? Y/N!”

Dean. His voice was close, and he drew you from the prison of your mind. You gasped, hand flying to your cheek where you found the slick dampness of tears. You raised your hand in front of you, startled to see that your fingernails had been biting into your palms hard enough to draw blood. They stung, but you barely noticed. You swallowed, glancing around the room frantically. It was so small, so cramped, you felt like you couldn’t breathe, and suddenly you were back in that cell and-

You jumped to your feet, all but flying out the door. Startled looks were shot your way as you sprinted up the stairs and flew into the night air. You gulped it into your lungs, chest heaving with sobs that ripped from your throat and crippled you - you collapsed to your knees, swallowing and forcing yourself to slow your breathing.

The fluttering of wings had you glancing up, and you saw Castiel standing a few paces away, face creased with concern.

“Y/N? Are you alright?” he asked, getting to his knees before moving closer - the last thing he wanted to do was intimidate you. You exhaled shakily.

“I- I can’t-”

“It’s alright - you’re safe now. What can I do?”

“Don’t make me go back,” you begged, blinking back the salty tears that stung your eyes. “Please…”

“I’m not making you do anything,” he promised. “But I would really like it if you came back inside. The bunker is your home - there’s no safer place in this world. Nothing can hurt you there,” he said, and you shook your head frantically.

“No, I can’t, I can’t,” you whispered, wringing your hands as you fought back another round of sobs. Cas nodded, the epitome of calmness despite the concern in his gaze.

“Okay. Can you tell me why?”

“It just- it makes me think of that- place,” you hissed, and Cas closed his eyes, sighing.

“I’m sorry. But it’s not that place, alright? You’re safe here. You were happy here, once,” he reminded you, and you tightened your jaw, avoiding his gaze.

“That all seems like- like so long ago… I can barely even…” you trailed off. Cas nodded sympathetically.

“I know - but you can find that again. You can be happy here again,” he told you, and you fell into an uncertain silence. An idea seemed to strike him, and his hand shot to his pocket, where he withdrew what looked like a crumpled piece of paper.

“Here - do you remember this?” he asked. You took the paper from him, surprised to find it thick and glossy under your fingers. You unfurled it, and your heart leapt to your throat at the sight of the polaroid. It was you - a half smile on your face, eyes averted from the lens. Tears pricked your eyes at the memory.

“Yeah,” you murmured. “I remember.”

Cas smiled. “You have a whole scrapbook of these, remember? Do you remember the day we spent in the forest, collecting flowers to press?”

The forest.

Your mind flashed back to the looming trees outside your cell window, the most beautiful sight you’d had access to then, but a horrible nightmare now. You felt yourself start to panic, but when your eyes met Castiel’s, you found yourself finding another memory in his eyes.

“The wildflowers,” you murmured. “We-we collected wildflowers.”

He smiled. “That’s right,” he encouraged. “And then, we came back to the bunker. Your home. And we put all those happy memories in one place.”

A small smile tugged at your lips, and you nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I remember. And I remember you spilling glue all over the table, and Dean- Dean got so mad.” You giggled despite yourself, and Cas smiled warmly. “So we had to find that shitty masking tape that barely even works and use that, instead.”

Cas chuckled fondly at the memory, nodding. “Yes. The scrapbook is still in your room - would you like to come and see it?”

You hesitated. “I’m not sure…”

“That’s alright,” Cas assured you. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. But I think it would do you some good to be around your friends. The bunker is still your home.”

You exhaled slowly.

“Okay,” you agreed, and Cas beamed, extending his hand and helping you up. You brushed off your pyjama bottoms, teeth worrying at your lower lip as you looked up at the angel. “Can-can I hug you?” You stumbled over your words, but Cas nodded, eyes warm.

“You don’t have to ask,” he told you, and you stepped into his arms, hands resting lightly on his shoulders as he held you to his chest. You expected to feel trapped, afraid, but instead, you felt safe and protected in the arms of your angel. Leaning into him, you buried your face in his shoulder, breathing him in as he ran his hand lightly up and down your back. Your arms wound around him, and you squeezed yourself to him, his firm body a physical barrier between you and the fears that had threatened to overcome you. When you pulled away, the warmth of the hug remained as a glowing, soothing presence in your chest.

“Let’s go inside,” he coaxed, and you found yourself nodding. His hand found yours, and for once you didn’t flinch at the movement, instead twining your fingers with his. He squeezed your hand lightly, and you felt him brush a kiss across your temple.

This might not have been the picture-perfect reunion Castiel had imagined during those long months, but the fact remained; he had you back, safe and sound. And he wouldn’t trade that for the world.

__________

Forever tags: @babygirloreo @calaofnoldor @stealingheartsswift13 @lmpala97 @sebastianshoe @81mysteriouslyme @castieliswatchingoverme @spnlovr73 @kina666 @liviaolivia

Cas tags: none! lemme know if u wanna be added!

[monohart]

clouds. (college!au)

ft. mark lee, sunny days and the brink of adolescence.

dating the campus’ radio dj was not an easy job

he was always, always busy, especially in the evenings.

he was exempted from 2/3 of his classes this semester to fit in broadcasting sessions and also to mentor the new broadcasters.

apparently they recruited a freshman, jisung. but he was a shy little bean, and mark needed to spend a lot more hours mentoring him.

which kinda meant that you would spend less time with your boyfriend

thankfully, y’all had similar classes.

there was this one class which was a capstone subject

which meant if u want to graduate u HAD to take it lol

and he aced all of the assessments in that subject so far this year

but you were just a bit competitive, so with exams coming, you planned to score a higher grade than him

which.. was an easy job, right? he spent most of his nights hosting the radio show anyway.

it both bugged and made you so extremely proud that mark was already getting proper job offers from major broadcasting channels

like when he got his first offer, he actually just finished a broadcast at around 3am, and was on the way back home

but he read the email on his phone and took a detour to your apartment

which scared the sh*t out of you

mark its almost 4am you could’ve just sent me a text??

“i don’t care i just needed to tell you this in person, oh my goodness is this even real????”

idk mark you tell me???

it was real, because he started getting offer after offer in the following week

but thankfully he didn’t pop by your place in the middle of the night again, after that first time

because you actually let him stay over that night and -

he held you in his arms as he leant against your headboard

and you just used him as a pillow because he you made him take a quick shower and he smelt of your soap but he still smelled of him and it was a comforting scent which sent you off the dreamland real quick

and he actually watched you fall asleep and made sure you were asleep before he pulled out his laptop to work on an assignment that was due the next day

when you woke up the next morning, you felt something cold and hard prod your back and you panicked for a moment before realising it was his laptop

and you heard the shower running so you knew it was mark going through his morning routine

but then you thought.... did he even sleep?

when he hopped out of the bathroom clad in same the clothes he wore the night before, he was still drying his hair with a towel

and his face was strew with exhaustion

but as soon as he saw you sitting groggily on the edge of your bed, his face lit up and he strode over to kiss the top of your head

“mark, did you even sleep?”

“nope, but i’m off again, i’ve got to hand in my assignment! i’ll see you for lunch?”

“wait what assignment?? did you need help on it?”

“nope, i got it done last night! thanks for letting me crash.”

before you could stop him, he pressed a hasty kiss on your lips before grabbing his laptop and bag and rushed out the door

and you sigh because

this was how dating mark lee, the campus dj, was like.

anyway

now, you guys were just a few days away from finishing the semester’s classes

and this was your last semester... given if you’ll pass the exams lol

so it was kinda the last few days you’d be able to spend together, on campus.

summer was coming

and the sun was so bright these days, it cleared the skies

no rain, none at all

which was not entirely Great because rainy days helped you study... and rainy days also meant more people tuned in on the campus radio

which meant

mark was kinda jobless today

which ALSO meant!!!

you could finally spend a whole day with him.

but, oh man...

when he called you around 11pm the night before, he was also checking his email and ... accidentally forgot that he had another assignment due at 8am the following morning

guess who didn’t get any sleep at all again!!!

your heart hurt seeing him work so hard

but somehow he convinced you to go to sleep first and not stay up to help him

he still got the assignment in on time because hes mark lee

so when you guys sat on the lawn in the middle of campus just like any typical college couple would on a nice sunny day, mark lay his head on your lap and used one of your textbooks to shield his eyes from the sun

and you were using his laptop to compile your notes from the semester, and also to help him tidy up his

“hey baby...?”

“hmm?”

you waited for mark to continue his sentence but he went silent

“mark, what?”

“mark-”

you lifted your textbook from his face only to find that he had fallen asleep.

his lips were slightly parted and he was snoring really quietly, and his fingers were in loose fists as they rested on his belly.

dont deny but you busted the biggest uwu didnt you

ofc like

you couldn’t possibly waste this precious photo opportunity but

your phone was just slightly out of reach rip

so when you grappled for it, mark woke up in an instant

he sat up real quick, and a tuft of his hair was sticking up messily.

“oh no, i didnt mean to-”

“so d’you wonder why we’re all clouds?”

you stared at each other with equally as confused frowns lol

like mark was actually

hella confused

but your expression literally read wtf

he didn’t really notice but instead yawned and held his arm out to you

and you move closer to him, snuggling into his side as he slowly lays the both of you down again, in a way so you could use his arm as a pillow.

the sun was really really bright so y’all lay there with your eyes squished shut

“we’re all just clouds, aren’t we?”

his serious question was met by your quiet scoff

“no, no, i’m for real. y’know how everything we do are for exams. exams this, assignments that... gpa... scores.. grades... deadlines... those kinda things. they turn us into clouds.”

“that is one extremely weird way to describe college students, mark.”

“no, baby, but... it’s accurate, isn’t it? the anxiety, stress, exhaustion... and just about everything we do turn us all into little clouds.”

“do elaborate, cause i don’t get why you’re comparing us to condensed water vapour.”

mark chuckled a little, and you roll your eyes figuratively, keeping your eyes tightly shut to shield it from the unforgiving sun.

"actually, never mind, it sounded way better in my head.”

at that point you were getting up to lie on your side

he turned his head and squinted at you as you gently placed a hand on his chest

"are you writing lyrics again?”

he hummed quietly and you shift a few inches closer to him.

“show me. i want to read those lyrics, no matter how dumb you think they are.”

“they’re not ready yet.”

“if you’re writing about anxiety, i can be your muse.”

“no way, you’re not a cloud. you’re a sunflower.”

he wrote lyrics all the time and most of the time he’d write them about you

sometimes he’d let you read them, sometimes he kept them to himself

and you’d catch him grinning idiotically over some lyric he wrote some time ago

so when he goes to sleep you would sneak a peak at it and it’s basically a love letter to first-date-you, or a diary entry of how he feels every time he sends u home from a date or from school but its so dreamy and seems unreal but you kNOW ITS REAL!!

bc u were there!!

anyway 

idk what came over you but you slung an arm around his torso and rested your head against his shoulder and he let out a quiet little puff of breath

you would think he’s pretty ok with skinship since y’all been together for so long

but yeah it was chill and okay and he’d be super clingy at home but when y’all were in public

man,,, he got so flustered and nervous

u just wanted to cuddle lol but he suddenly turned into a robot

the sun made everything seem slow and warm and sluggish which was pretty okay with you because you were finally spending time with mark!!!

and he was soft and squishy and a little bit awkward but so so so cute so u rly just wanted the moment to last longer

but no

just as u were about to drift off a Shadow™ loomed over u both

mark probably fell asleep again tbh

u heard a rly loud camera go CLICK and distinct voices whisper-yelling at each other

and there was a struggle

and the struggle ended with a Butt falling onto mark’s other shoulder

“MARK IM SO SORRY RENJUN PUSHED ME”

“NO YOU STINK YOU FELL BY YOURSELF”

“oh hey guys shut up the photo turned out alright”

“JENO SHUT UP THEY’RE RIGHT THERE”

mark was sitting up and you fussed over his other shoulder which was attacked by jaemin’s butt

and although he was so .. unfortunately.. woken up from his nap he was grinning and squinting up at his squabbling friends

and he chuckled as he watched u stand up and wrestle jeno for his phone to see the Photo

he was watching you chase chenle and renjun around the lawn, the two boys purposefully running slower to tease u

donghyuck sat down next to mark and put his head on his shoulder to mimic you from a few minutes ago

“oh you’re disgusting please go away.”

hyuck turned his head and batted his eyelashes up at mark who was still watching u with a dreamy smile

“you’re leaving soon, we just wanted to spend time with you before u abandon us”

mark laughed and told him he’s only graduating

but hyuck scowled and nudged mark with his elbow then gestured in your direction

“but you spend more time with her nowadays than you do with us”

mark let out a loud laugh and shook his head

“she’s my girlfriend.”

“so?”

“she’s my lover.”

“so??”

“she’s... everything to me.”

jisung, who was listening, gagged and haechan slapped mark’s tummy while hollering

and then u look over at them from the other side of the lawn, wondering why mark was lying on the floor again and why the other dreamies were surrounding him in a cultish circle

jeno and jaemin turned to face you with big chummy smiles on their faces and together they made heart arms at u

some other people on the lawn were beginning to stare and so u hide behind chenle bc renjun is too tiny

then jisung must’ve texted their group chat because renjun cackles and leads you back to the group

and u notice how bright mark’s face was which makes u blush like crazy as well

and even though stress from school, work and everything in general, was making u feel like a big and heavy raincloud

one look at mark lee made u feel like sunflowers and daisies

it totally didn’t help that when he’d look at you, the corners of his eyes would crinkle ever so slightly, and his eyes would shine with genuine adoration

and his cute little lips would stretch into the widest grin

uwu

and u bet the next batch of lyrics he gonna write is gonna be about you again!!