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waywardimpalawriter · 3 years ago

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Side Tracked (William “Ironhead” Miller x Plus Size Female Reader)

Side tracked

Pairing: William ’Ironhead’ Miller x Plus Size Female Reader

Rating: (E) Explicit, (M) Mature, NSFW, 18+ Only please

Warnings: Teasing, Smut, Protected Sex (p in v), if you squint Dom Will kink, unknown pain kink (in the form of cunt slaps),

Word count: 8,053 (I’m sorry but not sorry. Goes to show I can’t write anything short.)

Summary: Vacation is fast approaching but you haven’t told Will just yet. Along with a few other things you haven’t talked about with your new boyfriend.

Notes: Sequel to “One Touch” written for the amazing @autumnleaves1991-blog Writer Wednesday.

“Have any ideas for your vacation yet?” Taking a sip of her tea, eyes watching you slowly move the spoon around your own mug. Soft chuckles slips passed her smiling lips, “Earth to Y/N you with me sweetheart?”

“Huh…” glancing up from staring into your favorite green Mandolorian mug with Grogu etched into the ceramic. Brain catching the fact that you haven’t truly answered her question.

Head tiled noticing the mug, “Moving in already I see.” Teasing edge to her quip a chuckle leaving right after. Swearing she heard it crack with how fast your head popped up, blank confused look filling your eyes.

“What… what? No, I hav… we haven’t. I just love this mug is all,” bringing said cup to your lips for a deep drink mindful of the hot liquid inside. Finally catching on to the first question she asked, “And no there’s no plans for next week. Just staying home, clearing, packing up old shit to get rid of.”

Smirk sliding over her lips she tries to hide knowing why the mug is so special and an added secret she keeps that Will hasn’t told you yet. “Why haven’t you told Will?”

“Hasn’t come up really, besides I didn’t want to pull him alway from his job.” Nibbling the inside of your cheek thankful Isabella’s with the babysitters this late afternoon rolling the idea around to ask a delicate question. “Besides it’s early still in our relationship I wouldn’t want to impose or suggest…”

Sensing a trouble deeper than just decisions about your vacation plans, she rests a hand on your forearm giving a gentle squeeze. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” comes out quicker than you mean it too. Giving away the fact something truly is wrong but having a hard time asking for help.

Soft sigh leaves her lips, “Sweetheart you know we can talk about anything,” catching your eyes to convey without words the truth. “You’re my best friend so spill woman or I’ll sic Frankie on you.”

“No please God not Morales he’ll nag like an old woman till I talk,” dramatically stating smile tipping the corners up but not reaching your eyes. Weary sigh follows, gripping the green mug a little tighter to warm your hands with the drink. “We, Will and I haven’t, not that there hasn’t been some heavy make outs but we haven’t…” Stumbling over your words trying to get them out as best you can without reverting to your shy self when it comes to intimate subjects.

“Fucked that what you’re stumbling over?” Full smirk hidden behind her own plan mug. “Have you talked to him about why?” Shaking your head, eyes downcast biting your bottom lip in apprehension. “Communication is key for a health relationship sweetheart you know that.”

“But what if he doesn’t want to? Maybe he’s changed his mind and doesn’t know how to tell me,” everything spilling out in a rush. Looking from the mug in your hands that Will bought you just last month to her kind eyes going soft with understanding. “I think I’m falling in love with him and it scares the fucking hell out of me.”

Laughter full and deep leaves her lips, making you frown ready to pop her shoulder. “I’m sorry sweetie truly but I could’ve told you that just from how you talk about him. I’m not trying to make light of the situation in the least, but the two of you are as transparent as me and Frankie.” Patting your hand she takes giving a firm squeeze. “You should talk to him. Explain what you want and ask why he’s holding back.”

Neither women hear the front door open, keys quietly pressed into the glass dish on the end table behind the couch. Toeing his boots off by the front door, Will shrugs the jacket from his broad shoulders. Hearing your sweet voice tinged with uncertainty has a frown forming between his eyes.

“I know, I’m just unsure how he’ll feel when I finally tell him. Only three months into our relationship but I’m done waiting,” hands coming up to hide your face in exasperation. “I don’t want to hurt his feelings but fuck I need more.”

Nodding, eyes catching a shadow hovering around the outer archway into the kitchen. “You won’t know how he’ll take it till you explain yourself Y/N. Trust me when I say it’s not for the reasons you may think.” Trying to keep the smirk from her tone as Will rounds the corner.

“Something you want to tell me honey?” Making you jump but not turn to face him. Will tries to tramp down his fear at hearing your words. True the relationship is new but he couldn’t see his life with you in it, bringing the sunshine in those dark days. Watching as she gets up from the table placing a kiss to your forehead before coming over to him.

Hand resting on his chest giving a soft pat, “Tell her about next week Ironhead and stop hiding things from each other for Christ sake or I’ll sic Frankie on you to.” Tapping a little harder for emphasis before tossing over her shoulder, “See you tomorrow at work girlie have fun tonight,” before taking her leave the same way Will came in.

Staring at your slumped back for a few moments, Will steps towards you right as you stand collecting the mugs to wash. Bumping into each other Will takes the cups from your hands, soft grin splitting his lips upon seeing his present.

“You know I have mug’s here, you don’t have to keep bringing yours with you,” setting the cups in the sink, he turns to lean against the counter, hands on either side, body open much like his expression.

Nodding, hands clasp in front of you twisting fingers in nervousness the movements pressing your generous breasts together and capturing his gaze. Clearing your throat, “I know but I happen to like that mug. It’s special,” finally meeting his stormy blue eyes. Seeing there darker and slightly blown, “You hungry?”

“Yes,” voice gruff with arousal that he tries to clear then speaks again. “Can we talk first?”

Worried about what could come next swiping your tongue over the full bottom lip capturing it to pull between your teeth making small indentations into the skin, “Bout what?” Cautiously stepping towards him wondering how much of your conversation he’d heard.

“Us,” reaching out to take your hand, tugging you towards the living room. Sitting down first patting the space beside him which you take intertwining your fingers back with his once comfortable. Needing the contact for the moment to get through the conversation.

“What about us?” Staring at joined hands, resolutely keeping your eyes away from looking into his. Thoughts chasing each other around your mind like cats after mice. Wondering if you could still back out and run home to hide. Insecurities doing damage to your confidence Will’s helped build over the last three months.

Not letting you shy away from him, Will pinches your chin upward to capture your eyes. “What are you done waiting for?” Trying to keep his eyes pinned to yours instead of watching your lips or the gentle rise and fall of your breasts covered in a Burgundy blouse with a v deep that shows the twins off to perfection.

Gathering your thoughts and nerves, going for blunt and ripping the bandaid in one. “Do you want to fuck me?”

Of all the things Will’s prepared for your blunt answer isn’t one of them and surely not how you put it either. “You’ve been hanging around Fish and the misses too long.”

Eyes rolling hard a small snort leaving your lips as you try to pull your chin from his grip. “You wanted to know Will so answer the question.” When that didn’t work you tug your hand free to cross with its partner under your breasts.

“Actions speak better than words sweetheart,” gripping your arms, Will tugs you close. “Come here,” patting his lap your head shaking no garnering an impatience huff from his lips. Ignoring your resolute posture, Will grabs a leg and matching arm to manhandle you over his lap, shocked gasp parting your bitten lips. Till your thick thighs press into the couch on either side of his own. Rough hands drifting over your curves in reverence to settle around your waist. Gripping the softness of your body with enough pressure to keep you still. “Tell me honey what do you feel?”

Bitting off a whimper to turn into an annoyed huff from your chest, hands going to his shoulders in the bid to keep from straddling his lap and sitting your weight into his body. The resounding growl vibrates through his chest noticing your efforts to keep from settling in his lap. Will uses his superior strength to press your curves against his angles. “Im too heavy for…” last words choked off as a gasp pushes passed first. Eyes fluttering shut at the hard ridge of his cock against your jeans covered folds.

“Feel me baby? Feel how hard you’ve made me with just those simple movements of this fucking gorgeous body,” words escaping through clinched teeth. Gritting to keep from taking you right there on his couch like some horny teenage.

Unable to stop your own hips from undulating against his, trying to find the right friction. Making your thighs shake, your head drops to his shoulder as he gathers you into the warmth of his embrace. “Could…” swallowing, burying your nose against the warmth of his musky cologne peppered with hints of pine and cedar scented neck. “You could have a flash light hidden in there or a Tootsie roll stashed in your pocket.” Going for a teasing tone but it comes out breathless, filled with barely repressed passion.

Gruff laughter, deep and warm shakes his chest, “Fuck you’re dangerous woman.” Brushing his lips over the shell of your ear, nipping the delicate skin with sharp teeth pleased at the gasp he draws from your mouth. Making you shutter around him, your hips rock twice more before his large callused hands pause there movements dusting his fingers under the hem of your blouse to touch skin. “Trust me honey when I say that’s no flashlight.”

Repressing the shiver coiled to roll down you back, you reluctantly pull back to cup his cheek, thumb brushing just under his left eye, “Prove it to me Captain.”

Low groan leaves his lips, resting your foreheads together. “God I want to honey so fucking much,” swallowing harshly raising his face so you could see the truth in his eyes. “When I make love to you for the first time Y/N I don’t want you to have any doubts about why or if I’m sticking around.”

“I know you aren’t going anywhere Will,” leaning in to give him a chase kiss. “I just, I need more want more of you. All of you,” returning back to sitting on your knees, arms wrapped around his neck to catch his eye. Fingers card through the short locks blunt nails scrapping the scalp gently receiving a pleasure moan from the man under you.

Cupping your cheeks, “You have me honey I promise you.” Bringing your mouth in for a deeper kiss. That barely brushed first press only serves to spark a hunger in his veins and a need to taste you. Slotting his lips over yours nipping the bottom one to make you gasp and slide his hot tongue into your warm mouth. Tangling the talented muscle with your own one hand sliding to carefully cradle the back of your neck. The other slipping down into a back pocket of your jeans, pressing you down against his harden cock and rocking you over his body. Slick gathering, dripping and coating your tights with each tangle and brush of his masterful tongue. Pulling another whimper of need from the depths of your soul.

Air becoming a need and the only reason you break apart panting and gathering as much into your burning lungs. “Your gonna need to stop kissing me like that William or I won’t be held responsible for what I might do.”

The use of his full name pulled a deep groan of need from his chest. The way you move against him doesn’t help his resolve to wait and make things special. “You’re making things extremely hard right now sweetheart.”

“Oh it’s hard all right,” soft squeak exists your lips when he squeezes your ass, pushing your drenched core down against his erection a little harder. “I’m blame you for that one Mr. Miller,” eyes close to gather yourself before carefully untangling your bodies. An almost impossible endeavor with the tight grip he has on you. Holding back the giggle when you see a pout on his plush lips that you lean forward and kiss twice, “No pouts, you said we’re waiting and I’m going to hold you to that. So,” standing hands on your wide hips brow arched in challenge as you look down at him. Slowly licking your lips at the tempting sight he presents you. Tight black t-shirt covering a sculpted body of equal parts strength and softness. Arms crossing over that massive chest to glare up at you. “Put that glare away to, it’s your fault there will be no more kisses or hot make out sessions till we make love. I can’t trust myself,” eyes rolling at the smirk sliding over his kiss swollen lips. “Not to tear your clothes off and fuck you right there,” pivoting on the ball of your bare feet to head towards the kitchen. Trying to ignore the throbbing of your clit only amplified by each step away, and the fact you’ve soaked your favorite pair of panties in seconds because of Will Miller.

“Tear my clothes off huh? Wanna get me naked that badly honey?” Getting a soft giggle in response but no actual words. Calling after you with, “We’re not done talking woman. Get back here,” low growl leaving his lips watching the sway of that generous ass he desperately wants to get his hands on. “Where you going?”

“Dinner, we can finish our conversation in there,” tossing the words over your shoulder as you keep walking.

Grumbling, Will stands adjusting himself to relieve at least some pressure from his cock. Wondering if he’ll make it through a bad case of blue balls intact. “Can’t I just…” the flow of words halt seeing you bent over in the refrigerator searching. Ass a ripe peach just begging to be bit into.

“Just what baby?” Grabbing the salmon fillets, broccoli crowns and the bag of potatoes to stand. Turning to look back over at Will, who’s just standing in the doorway. Trying not to give away how his presents effects you, “You okay?”

Gulping twice, “Yup prefect,” teeth gritting at the adorably sweet look on your face. Unaware of the affect on his body and heart you have. “Need help?”

“Please,” bright smile tipping his own lips up to match yours. Head resting on his shoulder for a moment before you raise up on your toes to kiss him chastely. “You can cut the potatoes up while I take care of the broccoli,” setting everything down on the island to grab up two knives and bowels. Setting to work as Will slides up beside you, arms brushing while you both work. “What else did you want to talk about?”

“Vacation,” small gasp alerts him to your slight distress. “Yes your best friend told me but I’d like to know why my girlfriend didn’t?”

Silently cutting the broccoli from center stem, searching for words to answer. “I didn’t want to take you from your job,” giving a slight shrug. “Besides I don’t really have the money to go anywhere. I’d still come over every night or we could go out on day trips.”

“Sweetheart you mean more to me than some job ever will,” pausing for a moment to kiss your temple. Small guilty grin spreads over his lips, “What about a road trip?” Glancing towards you, admiring the beautiful profile filling his vision. Not paying attention to cutting up the potatoes Will accidentally slices a small cut into his forefinger. Hiss sounds from his parted lips yanking his hand back from the cutting broad to check the damage.

Catching the noise frown pulling your lips down seeing the bright red drops of blood pearling on the side of his finger near the tip. Training kicks in, grabbing for the paper towel to wrap around the wound. “Sit at the table,” voice holding a slight stern note as you rush off to the bathroom for the first aid kit and rubbing alcohol.

“No need to fuse so honey I’ve had worse in my life than a scratch,” calling after you though your actions warm a part of Will he’s long buried to keep from getting hurt.

Though he can’t see it you still shake your head, “Small as it maybe handsome infection can still set in and do damage just sit your sexy ass down and I’ll return shortly.”

Entering right as Will drops down into the chair, you drag another forwards to sit. Opening the large plastic med kit and pulled items you’ve stocked up. Damping a couple small gauze squares and carefully taking the blooded paper towel from his finger. “I’m sorry,” compassionate gaze in your eyes that lock with his while gently dabbing the wound. Hearing a pained hiss exist his tightly held together lips. “My big strong Delta Focus Captain wincing at a little cut,” playfulness dancing in your eyes that stay locked with his bright blues that narrow on your face.

“I’m injured and you pick on me,” taunting words as he keeps your eyes ensnared. “Where’s that bedside manners I’ve heard so much about?”

Narrowing your own eyes playfully still wiping the blood away, “I don’t show my bedside manner to just any soldier.” Small snicker escapes finishing the cleaning task. “Though you’re special so I just might.” Dropping your eyes to inspect and make sure he wouldn’t need stitches. “Tis a scratch my brave warrior you’ll survive,” giving him a cheeky smile, proceeding to finish bandaging the small cut lovingly.

Placing a gentle kiss once covered, glancing up into his eyes another gasp leaving your mouth this one different as heat floods your body. Pupil’s blown to crowd out the beautiful blue irises you love staring into. Scorching with the intensity, making you wonder how your body isn’t ash on the floor. Tongue peeks out to wet your lips dragging the bottom back between your teeth to press into trying to keep from whimpering.

Watching every movement warring internally with himself, equal parts wanting to wait for the right moment and having come to the time now. Your mischievous banter making his heart skip a beat and expand with the very emotion he’s tried to put into words from the moment he met you. Knowing these simple gestures, the care with which you show him, how delicate you’re being or the soft press of your lips into his skin, shouldn’t ignite the desire in his blood. But here he is hard as stone with thoughts of taking you right in this very kitchen. “Come here honey,” voice deep and filled with passionate need.

“What about our trip planning?” Swallowing your desire to obey his command, staying for a moment in your chair. “We keep getting side tracked it’ll never get planned.”

Groaning, he hooks the legs of your chair with his feet to drag the seat closer till each of your legs slide between his. Hands gliding up your plush thighs, leaning forward and into your space, those deliciously callused large hands coming to rest on your hips. “Would you be angry if I said I’ve planned everything already?”

Shock makes your eyes go wide then narrow slightly, “How long have you known I was taking off?” Trying to suppress the shiver wanting to run down your frame when those nimble fingers seek out the patch of skin just under your shirt. Drawing patterns that make you squirm in your seat and try to get away from giving up the secret that your back is sensitive to touch. Most especially his as desire filled fire dances across your skin heating your blood.

“First of the month,” licking his lips slowly wanting his plans to be a surprise. But figuring now is a good a time as any, “I planned us leaving this Friday after work, everything packed the night before. Head to Arizona and drive through Navajo Nation’s Monument Valley Park.” Tracing little patterns over your soft sides as he speaks, “Do some camping, I even got us a tent attachment for the truck. Unless camping isn’t something you want to do?” Concerned lacing his tone while berating himself for not asking sooner.

Love blooms crowding out the doubts from earlier, soft smile tugging at your lips as you lean forward to place them gently to his. Hand coming up to cup the side of his whiskered cheek. Teasing the seam with the tip of your tongue, “I happen to love camping William. Just one request?” Words ghosted over his mouth as you speak, adding two more chase kisses and pulling back to study his warring features.

“Request away honey I’ll give you anything you ask for.” Fingers stilling on your skin a moment, breath held tightly waiting for your answer.

Brushing your thumb over his bottom lip, soft gasp leaving when he playfully nips at the tip. “Would we snuggle in our tent?”

“Of,” clearing his parched throat, wondering if that’s the only question. “Of course sweetheart I gotta keep you warm after all.”

Shyly glancing from his lips up to those desire blown eyes, “Would you make love to me in our tent?”

Damn near swallowing his tongue at your question. “If that’s what you want,” hands flattening out over your back under the blouse you wear. His touch making you squirm in his arms. Interest peeked by your movements and how your trying to escape his hands. “Something wrong sweetheart?” Watching in fascination as your eyes grow dark, libs getting heavy with arousal. Thighs pressing together seeking out some way to put friction on your clit. When you don’t answer him, Will drags his palms over your back slowly, garnering a low lusty moan from your lips. “Answer me honey is something wrong?”

Mesmerized by the slow drag of your tongue across your lips, eyes opening and filled with dark passions. One hand coming down to rest on his thigh making his cock twitch painfully in his jeans. “No sir though if you keep dragging those wonderful hands over my back you’ll have something to take care of.”

Low growl rumbles from deep within his chest at your emphasis on sir. Will files that away for a later discussion along with the fact that you so readily complied with his order. Another twitch makes a groan slip free, fingers digging into your soft hips to tug you forward and onto his thigh. The force making you collapse into his chest, hands gripping the back of his chair. “You’re making this really hard to keep my promise sweetheart.”

Swallowing to moisten your dry throat, “Something is hard that’s for sure and it’s poking my leg right now.” Using your position and pressing into his thigh that flexes under you. Hips rocking in slow teasing motions, making a whimper leave your chest, head dropping to rest on his shoulder. “Touch me Will please,” ghosting your lips over his neck to nibble the patch right behind his ear. Feeling the shuttering gasp leave his body at the intimate touch.

Pleading tone breaks him of the resolve to wait and he wraps his arms around your waist, bouncing his leg under you. Flexing the muscles just perfectly to get a gasp of pleasure to tumble from your parted lips. Breath fanning out over the mark you’ve left on his skin just south of his ear. “Thats my girl so fucking responsive,” remembering your words and movements from a moment ago, Will brushes the pads of his fingers over your back.

Squirming in his arms a flood of arousal washes through your system making a whimper sound as you try to move away from those wicked fingers. “William,” his name existing on a whine of need as your teeth sink into the skin of his neck between shoulder and thick corded column.

Grunting at the simple bite, body taunt like a bow string, ready to snap at a moments notice. Never this hard in his life feeling like a teenager again and unable to control himself. For you though he reigns in that need along with the desire to control the situation. A discussion tabled till later when he’s not desperate to sink balls deep into your warmth.

Soothing voice stating, “Tell me what you need honey, I wanna hear everything and then give you what you want.” Sneaking his hands back under your blouse to touch soft skin. Interested by the fact you jump a whimper following close by more squirming in his arms. Light bulb going off in his mind. “Are you aroused sweetheart? Does my touch have that much of an affect on you?”

Nodding against his chest where your head now rests on his collarbone, gasping for breath. Slick flooding your clinching channel that aches with each contraction. Clit throbbing with a deep need your sure only Will can fulfill. “You don’t have to sound so smug,” whimpering the words as his fingers brush along your spine till reaching the destination your bra clasp would rest. “It’s front closer,” raising your head, gathering your strength to rock over his thigh. Letting him feel the damp heat of your core, knowing it not long and his jeans will have a soaked patch just as your ruined panties already do.

“I’d say I’m sorry honey but I wouldn’t mean it.” Carefully bunching the blouse upward till he pulls it from your plush body. Tossing it somewhere behind him not caring where it lands just the position of his hands spread out over your back. Breasts filling a pretty purple swirled bra, temping his eyes and making his mouth water at the sight. “So beautiful,” leaning forward to graze slightly chapped plush lips over the tops of your heaving breasts. “Remember when you asked me if I was hungry?”

Puzzled, desired coated eyes lock with the passion filled blues, slow nod bobbing your head. “Are you seriously stopping so we can cook?” Eyes narrow seeing a smirk pull at his bearded cheeks. On shaky legging you stand pulling your bottom lip back between your teeth to bite while your hands that he watches with peeked interest come to open the front clap on your bra. Keeping the cups in place you turn and only then drop the bra into his lap, “Shame I guess it’s plan B then.”

Standing quickly, gripping your hips to pulling you back into his arms that wrap around our thick waist giving you a squeeze. “Plan B?” Eyes dropping to see hands covering your breasts.

“Uh hmm, since your hungry I’ll let you eat while I go pleasure myself,” warm breath fanning out over your skin, mouth trailing kisses along the spine of your shoulder. Beard giving a delicious burn to your skin that sends a shiver through your frame. Normal insecurities long forgotten with the heat of his mouth against your skin. Those little nagging voices silenced by the hard press of his body and ridged shaft into the clef of your ass. The simple reason you’ve managed to stand in front of this man half naked and not run away belonged too Will. Who’s made you see with all the caresses, endless amount of kisses and words reminding you everyday how beautiful he sees you.

“The fuck you will sweetheart,” sexy growl vibrates against your ear. Nipping the shell, “Move your hands baby I never want you to hide yourself from me. I wanna see all of you,” callused palms flat against your tummy, caressing the soft skin almost reverently.

Obeying his command, body becoming pliant against his chest as your arms slide away. Replaced by the warmth of his larger hands, gently massaging each globe feeling the nipples harden and poke his callused palm. “If you’re teasing me William Miller I’ll beat your ass,” wanting the words to come out hard and full of authority. Instead issue forth on a moan chased by a whimper when his fingers pluck at your harden nipples. Tugging, drawing circles around the rippled areola hearing your breath hitch your head lolling back to rest on his shoulder.

Dark chuckle leaves his lips brushing over your exposed neck, “Never sweetheart.” Turning you in his arms, to lock eyes as he lowers his mouth to yours. Capturing your lips in a desperate kiss, a battle of teeth and tongues. Hands groping your ass pulling you into his arms tighter. Your own wrapping around his neck, holding on like a life preserver in stormy seas. Fingers carding through his short hairs to tug being rewarded with a lusty growl.

Breaking, panting for air, “Still hungry?”

“I”m starved sweetheart,” walking till your back hits the cool wall. Hands splayed out around you while his body pins you in place, “It’s not food I want.”

Swallowing harshly, head tipping back to expose your neck which Will takes advantage up. Lips closing over your thumping pulse point returning the marking favor. As your nails scratch lightly through his dirty blond hair, tugging at the strands to urge him up towards your mouth. “Then what?”

Rebelling against your urgent tugs, taking your hands from his head. Placing them on his shoulders his own making a slow trek from wrist to arm, ghosting over the parts of your biceps he knows you hate. To your shoulders, gripping them tightly for a moment, as your eyes lock and you see the intend in those stormy blue orbs. “You,” licking his lips just thinking about giving your honeyed folds a taste. “I’m a starving man sweetheart and I’m gonna make you my last meal,” his words coming out on a growl that shoots straight to your core. Need throbbing your clit and press your thick thighs together trying to find friction, desire filled heat exploding out over your body.

Whimpering, “Later,” needing him right then to sooth the ache building in your core, spreading out to tingle your tummy, heart beating triple time against your ribs. “I need you Will please. I need you to fill me, fuck me, just…” grasping at words to explain how much you need this man standing still clothed in front of you.

Raking your nails down his hard chest, to dance across his toned stomach, gripping the t-shirt and yanking it over his head quickly. Tossing the garment somewhere unknown for the moment to press your hands into his skin. Heat embracing your palms, running the flat of them over his tawny skin and lowering your mouth to press kisses to his sternum. Bitting softly to drag a groan from the man surrounding you.

“Is that what you want sweetheart? You need me that badly?”

Raising your head determination fighting with desire in your eyes, gathering your courage to speak exactly what you want. “I need you desperately, I want you like no other man before. Your in my blood baby and I want you inside me,” slowly licking your lips you push his stunned body back enough so you can wiggle from between his wall of muscle and the actually wall. Pausing to brush your lips over his ear, “I want you to ruin me William, wreck me so badly I can’t walk tomorrow and feel it for the rest of the week.” Pressing your lips to his cheek before walking towards the bedroom.

Leaving Will frozen to stare at the wall you previously stood, hands fisting to reign in the desire so potentate he’s surprised the seams of his jeans haven’t split with how hard he’s become. Breath exiting quickly as he leans into the surface for a moment till a soft moan echos from his room. Head whipping up, almost fearing a broke neck, straining his hearing to listen for another sound. This one a whimper of his name rips a growl from his mouth, feet taking up the path you proceeded first. Finding your Capri jeans dropped two feet from the bedroom, purple lace panties dangling from the doorknob.

Pausing in the doorway filling the entrance with his wide imposing body eyes glazed over at what his vision takes in. There sprawled out over his bed the love of his life. Making that two things he’s filing away to think about later. Back arched, one hand tugging and twisting at your nipples the other toying with your clit. Drawing slow circles over the pulsing pearl, “Will please.” Another whimper existing your vocal cords, thick thighs shaking with need.

Shucking off his jeans, box briefs tented and barely containing his throbbing cock that he palms a moment to get himself under control. That snaps the second your eyes open to focus on his. Sliding two fingers into your quivering cunt to pump slowly. Deep grunt exists, feet eating up the distance to the bed, palm slapping down over your quivering clit making you gasp and close your thighs against the sensations rocketing through your body.

“No,” single word growled out, arousal flowing freely as Will gets on the bed. Parting your thick shaking thighs to wedge himself between. Fingers yanked from your dripping center and brought to his mouth to taste. Long low moan vibrating through his chest at the honeyed flavor of your essence. Sucking both fingers clean before placing that hand on his ridged cock. Chin dropping to chest when you cup the girth of him through the fabric, fingers dancing slowing over the pulsing veins. All thought of being gentle escapes his mind when you moan. “Top draw sweetheart grab a condom for me while I have my second taste.” When you don’t move to comply right away, Will lands another smack to your cunt garnering a moan of need from your chest. Hips cantering upward in a desperate bid for friction or to be filled. “My girl likes that huh?” Seeing the nod he groans, thumb brushing over your clit twice getting a mewl from you this time. “Words honey, use them and tell me if you like when I slap your pretty cunt.”

“Yes sir,” gasping at the feeling of his moist breath fanning over your burning skin. Chase kisses planted all around except the one place you need him most. “Please Will.”

Smirking from between your thick thighs spread open for his hungry mouth. Hands splayed over soft skin brushing back and forth to drag a shiver from your body. “Please what honey?” Not letting you answer, lips forming a perfect O around your clit and sucks deeply. Wicked tongue flicking like the beating wings of a hummingbird in flight. Extricating a scream of pleasure from your panting lips, back arching as hands shot down to card through his thick hair. Tugging on the locks harshly, trying to rut against his face. Whimpering when he pulls away to smack your pussy to reel your orgasm back in. Licking his lips of your essence, missing the bits still clinging to his bearded chin. “I need an answer sweetheart.”

Head raising to half way on shaky elbows, glaring down at him, unprepared for the quick slide of two thick fingers deep into your quivering cunt. Choking out any form of coherent thought and dropping back against the sheets. One hand fisting the dark blue fabric as the other cups a breast, tugging at the nipple and adding little pinches to the gathering storm of need. Feeling those delicious tingles of pleasure lighting across your spine, dancing through your belly as the coil winds tighter in your body. With every thrust of those fingers, crooked upwards in a come hither movement, brushing against that little sponge spot making stars explode behind your eyes.

Pride, desire and love dance across his veins at seeing you so wanton under his administrations. Carefully yet quickly opening you up by adding a third finger to stretch you. Pleasurable burn short circuiting what’s left of your thoughts, instead focusing on the indulgence of those thick fingers bottom knuckle deep inside you. “Look at you sweetheart, spread out over my bed, fingers deep inside this pretty cunt making you wither and moan my name. Fuck if you aren’t the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.” Mouth connecting with your clit dragging another loud moan of his name from your lips.

“Like that Will, just fucking like that,” mumbling words, head thrashing against the pillows wanting to hold off till he’s inside you but with every thrust of the skilled fingers. Mouth drawing out different letters of the alphabet to make you quiver around his body. Moans and whimpers dripping from your lips punctuated with his name and various words of pleading. “Close Captain so fucking close.”

“Cum for me sweetheart, fucking soak my hand and the bed under you.” Groaning at the use of his rank, cock twitching painfully inside the tight cotton confines of his black boxer briefs. Watching your back arch when he draws your clit between his lips and sucks hard, tongue flicking quickly to match his fingers. Groans added vibrations to your pleasure as his fingers keep the same quick pace sending you flying over the edge at his command careening into your orgasm. Breath gasping from your lungs, thighs trying to close around his head, shaking from the effort before they drop flat to the bed. His broad body blocks there bid as he works you through the high. Fingers sloshing through your soaked walls, mouth dropping to catch each drip to savor. Pulling from the squeezing depths that try to weakly suck them back in to his mouth and lick them clean.

Surging up your body, cotton covered cock slotted against your soaked folds. Groaning when you weakly start to rut against him, eyes fluttering open to see him hovering over you on his forearms. “Hello there my Captain,” wrapping your arms around his neck and quickly bringing his lips to crash against yours. Nipping and tasting the remains of your tangy essence from his tongue that you promptly suck into the hot cavern of your mouth. Pulling a groan from the man above you who rocks against your drenched folds slick soaking through the cotton.

Blindingly reaching over to open the top draw, grabbing a condom as your hands work to take his underwear off. Sighing in relief at being free, both of you fumbling together while lips are still locked in a heated battle. Gasping for breath and angling mouths to draw in air through your noses, sharing the hot commodity. Only breaking on a growl when your hand wraps around his hot shaft giving a hard squeeze and starting to pump slowly. Foreheads resting together, dragging the palm of your hand over the weeping crown, gathering the precum for lubrication. Till he pushes your hand away getting a huff of annoyance from your pouting lips.

“Put that lip away sweetheart before I put you over my lap and spank that pretty ass of yours.” Ripping the condom package with his teeth and fingers, pulling the thin piece of latex from the confines. Only to have you snatch it up and slide down under him till your level with his throbbing cock.

Placing a kiss to the angry red crown, lapping at the slit and getting a hiss from the man shaking above you. Smirk he doesn’t see but hears when you say, “You can owe me a punishment Captain but I wanted my taste.” Giving little kitty licks around the crown several more times. Enjoying how your making him shake, and rut against your body. You pull away to slide the condom over his cock, one last kiss to the head before shimming your plush frame against his and back up towards the pillows. Arms going around his neck to pull him back in for another kiss.

Only to chase his mouth that he refuses to give you his lips, “Think your cute huh?” Rising up on his knees to spread your thighs over his, opening you up wide for him. Hands trailing over your body teasingly slow, pausing to pinch both nipples. Getting a whine from your chest that makes a smirk pull at his lips. Desire darken eyes lock with yours, “By the way sweetheart,” brow arched. Left hand wrapping around his cock pumping a few times before notching at your dripping entrance. Teasing you with just barely pushing the head in and back out. “That was one, I plan to pull at least three more from you before tonight is through.”

Eyes widen at his declaration, “You…” choking on the words you’d planned to say with the hard thrust of his cock deep inside your tight channel. Silent scream forms on your lips, air quickly expelled by the force, hands scrabbling to grip his shoulders.

Pausing to let you adjust to his girth, Will dips to capture a stiff peaked nipple into the hot cavern of his mouth. While arranging one thigh against your chest and draping the leg over his shoulder repeating the action with the twin. Folding you almost in half and sliding that much deeper into your pulsing depths letting your breast go to drop his head between them placing kisses trying to reign himself in. Not wanting to loose control and cum too soon.

“Fuck sweetheart your so tight and wet for me,” moist breath heating your skin. Setting a hard punishing pace that has the head broad slamming into the wall with his masterful thrusts. Puling out till just the cock head rests at your entrance before surging forward hard and deep. Eyes rolling back as you gasp, clutching at his shoulders slick with sweat.

Beading across his hairline to slide down his cheeks, cupping them with trembling hands and bringing his mouth back to yours in a desperate kiss. Tangling your tongues together, one leg slipping from his shoulder to wrap around his waist pressing into his pert ass and pushing him deeper if possible. The sheer girth of him splitting you open as he takes you hard and deep. Nipping his tongue twice and pulling away to gasp out just trying to gather air into your lungs. “Will,” name whimpered passed your lips fire dancing across your veins demanding more.

“I know sweetheart, fuck I know,” growling low bringing your other leg to wrap around his waist. Reaching up to grip the head broad, thrusts shortening but still deep and quick. Chasing that high he knows isn’t long in coming with the way your walls quiver around him. “Honey you gotta give me another one, need you to cum for me.” Gritting his teeth, looking over your beautiful face soaking in the look of pleasure painted over your features, coated in sweat and desperation pinching your brows.

Eyes tightly closed, little stars exploding, his words filtering through the sexual haze he’s brought over you. Heavy libs flutter open to watch him above you, rippling muscles, biceps flexing around you. Hands caress his back, coaxing his hands down to cage you in and press you deeper into the mattress. Hiking your legs higher on his waist, feeling his pelvis grind down against your clit sending shockwaves of pleasure to crest over you. Slipping one hand between your bodies needing a little push, only to have it brushed aside by Will’s larger hand.

Callused fingers circling the little pulsing nub of your clit getting a breathy moan from your throat that chokes off into scream of his name ripped from your lips. Orgasm washing over your body, making you float between paradise and reality soaking his cock and making you gasp for breath, body shaking while surrounded by Will. His musky cologne, pine and cedar mixing with the scent of sex a heady fragrance that tingles your scenes. Silently chanting his name while he works you through the release. Little after shocks dance through your limbs, holding him closer and squeezing your still pulsing walls around him tighter. Feeling your slick spill out around him coating your inner thighs and down into the sheets.

Bringing your mouth back to his for a sweet slow kiss, tangling your tongues together dragging a moan from the depths of his soul. Pace starting to falter with every quiver and clutch of your wet depths. Breaking apart to gasp for air, lungs burning, cock throbbing for release twice more he thrusts into your clutch channel. Emptying himself into the condom, movements slowing till he’s spent and drops carefully into your waiting arms.

Brushing your fingers through his soaked hair, head resting between your own heaving breasts. Feeling moist air against your damp skin, hands sliding down his back, basking in the afterglow, “Definitely can’t get side tracked while packing.”

Pressing a kiss between your breasts looking up through heavy libs, “Why’s that honey?”

“We’ll never leave,” soft giggles leaving your lips. Watching as Will raises up pressing kisses to each of your nipples, dipping to press one to your neck on one of the many marks he left behind. Brushing his beard over the sensitive skin of your throat, groaning when you clutch him tightly. “Not sure if I want to now. Might keep you in this bed that whole week instead,” smirk turned groan when he pulls from your depths carefully. Placing a quick kiss to your lips before sliding to the edge of the bed to tug the spent condom off, tying and tossing it into the trash bin on the other side of the night stand.

Rolling to your side, head propped up on your hand watching as Will raises and heads to the bathroom to clean up. Admiring his firm ass, the play of muscles with each step, tongue peeking out to lick your lips at the delicious sight he presents you. On his return trip you shamelessly ogle his front, tugging your lip back between your teeth. “Fuck your gorgeous baby,” soft smile replacing the salacious smirk.

“I can say the same about you sweetheart,” warm wet cloth in hand, he coaxes you to lay back and wipe the remains of your slick from your tender folds.

“Hmm, thank you William,” feeling shy in that moment, watching him toss the cloth into the hamper, before crawling into bed behind you.

Strong arms wrap around your soft body to pull you against his hard chest, “Never have to thank me for taking care of you sweetheart.”

Turning in his arms to rest face to face, placing a hand on his cheek, “Only if I get to thank you in other ways?”

“And those would be?” Leaning close to rest your foreheads together. The arm around your waist pulls you flush against him warm palm cupping your ass getting a squeak from your kiss swollen lips.

Tracing patterns over his tanned chest, circling a nipple giving a light pinch to the peaked tip. “You’ll have to wait and see, I won’t give away all my tricks so soon Tootsie roll.”

“Tootsie roll?” Playful growl leaves his lips pushing you onto your back and hovering over you. “Oh sweetheart I’ll show you Tootsie roll.”

Giggling and squirming under him thinking your life couldn’t be any better. With the man of your dreams giving you delicious beard burn and loving your body like no other.

Till the weekend rolls around and you get to give him one of those special thank you’s. Waking him up with your warm mouth pleasuring him as the sun rose outside your tent and his deep moans echoing pleased smirk on your lips the rest of the day with how weak you made him that morning.

#Writer Wednesday #William 'Ironhead' Miller x Plus Size F!Reader #William 'Ironhead' Miller x Plus Size Fem!Reader #William 'Ironhead' Miller x Plus Size Female Reader #William Miller x Plus Size Fem!Reader #William Miller x Plus Size F!Reader #William Miller x Plus Size Female Reader #Triple Frontier story #Triple Frontier boys

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thesibfiles · 3 years ago

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Courtney going on tour right after?

Theres a misconception that after Kurts death, Courtney went straight on tour right away. This is false. The album was already set to release a few days after and they couldnt change that on such a short notice. Promotion for the album was cancelled and she pushed back the tour 4 months.

“Live Through This was supposed to provide Love an opportunity to step out from her famous husband’s shadow. “It’s annoying now, and it’s been annoying for nine years, Love said in a 1999 Jane Magazine interview of always being connected to Cobain. Released four days after Cobain’s body was found, the album’s promotion was put on hold. Rather than retreat from the public eye, Love openly mourned and helped fans of Cobain and Nirvana make sense of the singer’s death. She sat with grieving teenagers gathered outside the couple’s Seattle home and recorded a reading of parts of his suicide note that was played at the singer’s memorial that gathered near the Space Needle. In the days following his death, Love showed a very raw and emotional side and admitted that, like many fans, she didn’t have all the answers.

It was, and still is, impossible for people to discuss Live Through This without noting the irony of the album’s title. Love has said the name was not a prediction at all, but instead a reflection of all she had endured in the months leading up to its release, including a very public custody fight with the Los Angeles Department of Family Services over daughter Frances Bean. Rumors suggested that Cobain had written much of Live Through This (it’s Miss World, not Mister, just FYI). “I’d be proud as hell to say that he wrote something on it, but I wouldn’t let him. It was too Yoko for me. It’s like, ‘No fucking way, man! I’ve got a good band, I don’t fucking need your help,’” was Love’s response to critics in Spin’s oral history of Live Through This. Love and Cobain often shared notebooks and lyrics with each other, and while there is talk of Cobain’s influence on Love’s work, or the writing of all of it, less is mentioned in the press of her impact on his lyrics and music. Rather than sucking all the life out of Nirvana or threatening the success of the band, like many assumed she would do, she inspired Cobain. Fun fact: In Utero, Nirvana’s last album, was named after a line from one of Love’s poems.

Sadly, songwriting rumors would be replaced by other rumors. Women are often vilified and condemned for the deaths of their male partners. Love, like all women, was supposed to save her partner from death and addiction. Fans of Cobain projected all their anger and resentment over the loss of the Nirvana front man onto Love, and soon she was blamed for not only his addiction but also his death. There are even two movies devoted to the theory that Courtney killed Kurt: the awful Soaked in Bleach (2015) and the equally awful Kurt & Courtney (1998). If you think we’ve come a long way, baby, sadly we haven’t.

One year after Anthony Bourdain’s death, Asia Argento is still being blamed, and in September 2018, Ariana Grande had to take a break from social media after fans blamed her for the death of her ex Mac Miller. A few months later, she would be blamed for new beau Pete Davidson’s mental health and addiction issues. It’s amazing she finds the time to write hit songs what with all the dude destruction she has going on. When women are not being blamed for the deaths of the men in their lives, they are being attacked for not grieving properly. “She wasn’t crying. She’s got $30 million coming to her. Do you blame her for being so cool?” a hospital staffer said of Yoko Ono following John Lennon’s murder in 1980.

About four months after Cobain’s death, Love went on tour to promote her new album. Some questioned and judged why she would go on tour so soon, but Love has said it was a necessity. She had a young daughter to support. She needed to work. She also, sadly, still needed to prove herself. “I would like to think that I’m not getting the sympathy vote, and the only way to do that is to prove that what I’ve got is real,” Love told Rolling Stone in 1994.

Twenty-five years later, Cobain’s death still hangs over Live Through This. In the days leading up to the anniversary of Cobain’s death, former Hole bassist Melissa Auf der Maur wrote an open letter to music magazine Kerrang saying she “would not stand for Kurt’s death overshadowing the life and work of the women he left behind this year.”

“We were extremely well designed for each other,” Love has said of her relationship with Cobain. In a letter reprinted in Dirty Blonde: The Diaries of Courtney Love, she calls him “my everything. the top half on my fraction.” The two had similar upbringings, both came from broken homes and spent childhoods shuttling between relatives and friends. They both grew up longing for love and acceptance. When we tell the story of Kurt and Courtney we talk about drugs and destruction, but we don’t talk enough about love.

The two also shared an intense drive and ambition. “I didn’t want to marry a rock star, I wanted to be one,” Love said in a 1992 Sassy interview. Evidence of her drive can be found in the many notes and to-do lists she kept, some of which are collected in Dirty Blonde. There are reminders to send her acting résumé to agencies, to write three to four new songs a week, to “achieve L.A. visibility.” A scene in the documentary Kurt & Courtney features an ex of Love’s reading from one of her to-do lists, which has “become friends with Michael Stipe” as the number one task to complete (not only did Love do this, but he is her daughter’s godfather). This ambition is not surprising from a woman who, when she was younger, mailed a tape of herself singing to Neil Sedaka in hopes of getting signed. Love knew what she wanted at an early age, and what she wanted was fame.

She was certainly living by the “do not hurt yourself, destroy yourself, mangle yourself to get the football captain. Be the football captain!” motto she championed in the 1995 documentary Not Bad for a Girl. Ambition is often a dirty word when it is used to describe women and Love is no exception. She has been repeatedly described as calculating and controlling when she should be rewarded for her blond ambition and viewed as an inspiration. Critics and the press often call her a gold digger who only married Cobain for fame and money. They fail to mention that when the two met Pretty on the Inside was actually selling more copies than Bleach, Nirvana’s debut album. Even post-Kurt, Love’s intentions were always under scrutiny. On the Today Show to do press for The People vs. Larry Flynt, Love refused to talk about her past drug use, despite the host’s repeated questions, saying the topic was not an appropriate fit for the show’s demographic. She was right, but it didn’t stop a writer from describing the move as “calculating” in a 1998 Spin piece.

Cobain was ambitious too; he was just much slyer and more secretive about it. He was known to call his manager and complain when MTV didn’t play Nirvana’s videos enough, and he would correct journalists who misquoted the band’s sales figures in interviews. While success is typically celebrated and rewarded for men and it certainly was for Cobain, he also had to be mindful of the slacker generation that loved Nirvana and greeted success — and especially mainstream success —

While female celebrities like Love are criticized for their rebellion, male celebrities, like Cobain for example, are celebrated and mythologized for it. Cobain and Love both struggled with addiction, but it is Love who is repeatedly vilified for her drug use. “She was vilified for being a mess, for being a drug addict, for not being a great parent — in other words, all of the things we expect in a male rock star,” said Bust magazine in a piece in the magazine’s 20th anniversary issue, which featured Love on the cover.

We make jokes about the drug antics of male celebrities from Keith Richards to Charlie Sheen, idolizing their debauchery and depravity. The new Netflix/Lifetime movie by Jack Daniels, The Dirt, about Mötley Crüe, takes the band’s excesses to almost comic levels. Check out crazy tourmate Ozzy Osbourne snorting a line of ants by a hotel pool! Such zany antics! I would love to see Lindsay Lohan try to get away with that. We never allow women to live down their arrests and their addictions, but we repeatedly allow men to have a redemption arc. Robert Downey Jr. was in and out of jail and on and off drugs for much of the mid to late ’90s, but we rarely, if ever, talk about his past.

When Love isn’t being attacked for her addiction issues, she is being judged for her parenting. Love’s first unflattering press was “Strange Love,” the much publicized 1992 Vanity Fair profile by Lynn Hirschberg. While the piece talks at length about Love’s drug use and constantly questions her parenting ability, it doesn’t paint Cobain in the same light. “It is appalling to think that she would be taking drugs when she knew she was pregnant,” says one close friend in the piece. Hirschberg relies on many unnamed sources and focuses often on the tabloid-like aspects of Love’s life and addictions. “Courtney has a long history with drugs. She loves Percodans (‘They make me vacuum’), and has dabbled with heroin off and on since she was eighteen, once even snorting it in Room 101 of the Chelsea Hotel, where Nancy Spungen died,” she writes. “Reportedly, Kurt didn’t do much more than drink until he met Courtney.” (Even when it is reported by Kurt and Krist that Kurt tried heroin in 1989, way before Courtney, It was also known that he smoked weed and used caugh syrup to get high in 1989 and 1990.)

This double standard was common in coverage of the couple. In Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck, the 2015 documentary by Brett Morgen, Love asks her husband, “Why does everyone think you’re the good one and I’m the bad one?” Later in the film we see a scene of Frances Bean’s first haircut. The child sits on Cobain’s lap while Love searches for a comb and scissors. The camera shows Cobain nodding off, and while he maintains that he is just tired, it’s clear he’s not. The scene is painful to watch, especially because those around Cobain carry on like nothing in wrong, giving the feeling this is just like any other day in the Love-Cobain household. The scene is a reminder of how the press treated Cobain’s addiction when he was alive. They just carried on like nothing was wrong, instead directing all their judgement at Love.

#courtneylove #courtney love #hole #grunge #nirvana #kurt cobain #kurtcobain #90s

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tcm · 4 years ago

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Scoring a Silent Film By Susan King

New York Times’ film critic Mordaunt Hall was beyond effusive in his review of Ernst Lubitsch’s 1926 comedy souffle SO THIS IS PARIS (’26) describing it as a “gay picture” which “hails from the workshop of that master director Ernst Lubitsch” and is doing its share to “uphold the screen art…’” He added that the “farce comedy is titivated with satire. It is a farcical yarn that keeps one amused from the start. The publication named the romantic roundelay starring Monte Blue, Patsy Ruth Miller, Lilyan Tashman and Andre Beranger, as one of the top ten films of the year.

Though several of Lubitsch’s silent Hollywood films have been released on DVD or aired on TCM, that hasn’t been the case with SO THIS IS PARIS, because the comedy didn’t have a score until now. The virtual TCM Classic Film Festival has the “Lubitsch Touch” Sunday evening with the world premiere of the new restoration of SO THIS IS PARIS, presented in a 2K scan off the Warner Bros. nitrate complete with a lively original organ score by and performed by Ben Model.

Over the years, TCM had licensed Model’s scores for silent films in the public domain he had initially done for home video including Baby Peggy’s THE FAMILY SECRET (‘24) and Marion Davies’ WHEN KNIGHTHOOD WAS IN FLOWER (‘22). One of the top accompanists and composers of silent film scores, Model had long wanted to work with TCM to commission new scores for their scoreless silent films in their library. After discussions with Charles Tabesh, TCM’s SVP for programming and content strategy, Model was able to score SO THIS IS PARIS.

“I knew SO THIS IS PARIS had been shown at the TCM Film Festival a few years prior,” said Model. “I knew this is a film that Warners’ controls. It’s a film I don’t have to convince anybody about… It’s already on everyone’s radar. I also knew that the Library of Congress had material on it.” And, it turned out TCM had scanned its print of the film. “They sent me a file and I scored the film.”

Surprisingly, Model doesn’t compose or play on an actual mighty Wurlitzer, he utilizes a virtual one using a computer program that “behaves like an actual organ console would.” Model watched the film once and took a lot of notes for himself: “story notes where I’m writing down what happens in the scene, what mood I think it would be. Sometimes I’ll write down this should be a minor waltz or something like that. I will also notate for myself in boldface visual cues. Not in a Mickey Mouse coconut sounds when somebody gets hit on the head kind of thing, but just so I can see it at a dramatic moment. “

There’s a scene in the beginning of the film where the one couple is rehearsing this Arabian dance and there is a man playing the piano. “We get a glimpse of the sheet music,” Model noted. “I thought just in case there are any musicians who are reading [the sheet music], I actually transcribed the first eight or nine ears of the ‘Dance of the Despair’ and it kind of works. “

He doesn’t write all the music out when he’s composing. “I improvise, although when I’m recording, it’s more like I improvise until it’s right. It’s a form of composition where I’m not physically writing notes on a piece of paper. But I still think of it as composition and not just making music until the scene is over. Improvisation was a technique that organists knew.”

He learned as a young man from the legendary silent film accompanist Lee Erwin that silent film music “should be interesting enough to hold you, but not pretty enough to distract you. The idea is because silent film is its own universe. I think the idea it to support the film and help the audience. Boost then up into the world and keep them in that world.” The biggest challenge scoring the film is the three minutes and 13 second Charleston party sequence “where nothing happens,” noted Model. “The film is forward motion and dramatic action then the movie stops. It’s just shots of a lot of people dancing. I didn’t just want to play until the scene was over. I wanted to try and map something out.”

So, Model watched the sequence, took down the timing and even created a spreadsheet “so I could figure out not only how many seconds each the segments are. I was able to break it down and discover the internal logical of the editing. I came up with a tempo which is a Charleston tempo or a tempo that the Charleston would be played it.” He chose not to include the famous Charleston music in the sequence because he thought it would be a distraction. “I chose to play music that was at the Charleston tempo so you could concentrate on what was being done on screen.”

#silent film #1920s #So this is Paris #Ernst Lubitsch #TCM #Turner Classic Movies #TCMFF #Ben Model #scoring #Susan King

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albertasunrise · 4 years ago

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Realised Too Late - Part 1

Summary: You’ve been best friends with Frankie since high school and you’ve harboured a secret that whole time that has eaten you alive. You’re in love with him. You know he only sees you as Arce (Maple), the nickname he gave you on your first day. You're just his Canadian friend, never anything more. When his life takes a series of different turns, however, you're there to support him through it but how long can you do that before it just hurts too much?

Warnings: Drug abuse, alcohol, depression, overdose, language, Angst, Smut 18+

Pairings: Frankie Morales x Reader - Ben Miller x Reader

Notes: There are some tough subjects in this one so if you're easily triggered by warnings above, don't read. This will be in three parts.

He was a shell of the man you’d known as kids, the army having stripped him of his soul and leaving him limp and boneless. You hadn’t been surprised when he’d turned to drugs for relief, he was an addict. As kids, he was addicted to exercise, constantly dragging you on hikes or to swimming events that left him buzzing after. During his time in the army, he was addicted to danger, unable to just sit on the sidelines when his brothers were out there risking their lives. When he’d retired he’d struggled. He was evicted from his flat after his last job, the neighbours complaining about the noise, the screaming as he was plagued by nightmares of the things he’d seen and done, they didn’t care he was ex-military. Or that his girlfriend had left him. So you had taken him in, held him at night as he sobbed and did everything you could to help him get better.

At first, you’d not realised that the change in him was because of the coke. He’d been happy, positive, bubbly. He’d returned to the Frankie you once knew. You’d been over the moon at his progress, happy that you’d pushed him to attend counselling and he’d sold it to you so well, made you believe he was going but he wasn’t. No, he was driving to a bar where he had a beer, sniffed some coke in the bathroom and left, returning to you with a new story to sell his lie.

You’d found the bag of powder whilst doing the washing. You’d known instantly what it was and you’d broken down immediately, unable to believe that he’d do that stuff after what he knew. What it had done to your family. He’d found you sobbing on the floor, clutching your stomach and he’d dropped to your side in an instant, pulling you into his arms.

‘Arce, what’s wrong?’ He’d pleaded and your tears had stopped almost immediately, sorrow replaced with pure burning anger that you’d never felt before.

‘You lied to me.’ You’d growled, pushing away ‘You haven’t been going to counselling have you?’

‘I have.’

‘If you continue to lie to me I swear I will kick the shit out of you.’ You'd spat, getting to your feet with that bag clutched tightly in your hand ‘This is the real reason you’ve been -happier- isn’t it Francisco?’ You continued, holding out your hand and revealing the bag that sat on your palm ‘How could you?’ You’d sobbed ‘After what I’ve been through… How could you resort to this as a fix?’

Frankie had knelt there gobsmacked, unsure of what to do or say to you. He'd not even thought about you when he’d been offered the substance the first time, he’d just focused on the fact he’d been told it would help… and it had.

‘Arce I’m so sorry.’ He’d sobbed ‘I just needed the pain to stop. He’d told me it would stop and it did.’

‘But Frankie. This shit ruins lives.’ You said, your tone changing to one with more sympathy ‘Look what it did to my family.’

Your brother had gotten hooked on the stuff after his relationship had fallen apart. His wife had left him, taking the baby with her and he’d lost it. Turning to drink and drugs to dull the pain. He’d managed to hide it well, no one ever suspecting him. One fateful day however the truth had been revealed most tragically. It had been your birthday and Frankie had organised a surprise party for you at his. Your brother had been tasked to pick up and bring your parents over but he’d taken just a little too much before getting behind the wheel. They had never stood a chance. His car was t-boned by a truck when he’d jumped a red light, everyone dying on impact. When you’d arrived at Frankie’s you’d been over the moon to see his place decorated with balloons and streamers, your friends all stood there waiting for you but his face had ripped that happiness away. He’d walked up to you, everyone else remaining where they were and he placed a hand on each arm, bracing you for what was to come and as the words left his mouth you'd passed out, falling limply into his arms.

He’d supported you through it all. The funeral. Sorting through your parent's stuff. You’d considered selling their house but he’d convinced you not to.

‘Don’t you want your kids to grow up here?’ He’d said ‘You have a story about every inch of this house. Don’t sell those stories to someone else.’

So you’d kept it. Moved in and worked on modernising it without ripping out its soul, keeping the memory of your family alive within its walls.

‘You need to stop this Frankie.’ You’d stated, snatching the powder out of sight ‘I will help you but you have to promise me no more lies.’ You’d continued, noting the relief that had flooded his expression ‘You lie to me Frankie and that’s it. You’re out.’

‘Of course.’ He’d replied, nodding hastily as his tears tracked down his cheeks ‘No more lies… I promise.’

He’d kept his promise. He actually attended counselling, his shrink calling each time to confirm he’d visited. He wasn’t aware that they did it, you’d asked them to keep it between the two of you but you’d needed some sort of confirmation that he really was trying to help himself. The nightmares had returned but after a while, they became less frequent along with the panic attacks at loud sounds. He was doing so much better and you were so proud of him. He’d then started to attend AA meetings, finding them useful. You’d gone along to the first few with him on his request but as his confidence had grown he started attending alone and that’s how he’d met her.

Lucy.

She was nice enough. She’d been hooked on coke too after leaving the army so they’d connected in a way that a lot of the other members never could. Their romance had been fast-paced and it killed you. You were happy he had someone, of course, you were… You were just devastated that it wasn’t you.

‘So Lucy’s having a few friends over on Friday. She wondered if you wanted to join?’ He asked as he sipped at his coffee ‘She’s desperate to get to know you.’

‘You talk about me with her?’ You asked, raising your brows as little in surprise.

‘Of course, I do.’ He replied, giving your a bemused expression ‘You’re my best friend. Why wouldn’t I?’

You shrugged, sipping at your coffee as you looked at anything but him, desperate to hide your heartbreak from him. He didn’t notice, just continued to speak as he supped at his black coffee, oblivious to your pain.

‘So will you come?’ He asked with hopeful eyes.

‘Sure.’ You reply, praying something comes up that means you can’t go.

Nothing does.

‘So you’re the famous Arce?’ She asked, shaking your hand when Frankie brought you over.

‘That I am.’ You replied, smiling sheepishly at her.

‘Frankie’s told me all about you.’ She stated, giving you a warm smile ‘You’ve been quite a friend to him.’ She stated ‘Especially with his coke addiction. Most people who have been through what you have would have run a mile. He’s lucky to have you.’

You give her a small nod but inside you’re screaming. She thanks you for coming and apologises for having to go, food needs to be checked. As soon as she leaves you turn and walk to the door, tears streaming down your cheeks.

‘Hey whoah! Where are you going? What’s the matter?’ Asked Frankie as he grabbed your shoulders and stopped you in your tracks ‘Why are you crying?’

‘Fuck you, Frankie.’ Was your reply before you shrugged out of his grip and left, ignoring him as he called after you.

You ignored his calls and texts as you laid there curled up on your couch, praying that he'd choose to stay with her that night but you didn’t get such luck. He walked through the door a little after 1 in the morning, toeing off his shoes and hanging his coat and cap up before stepping quietly into the house. He heard your silent cries and found you curled up on the couch, an empty bottle of wine laying on the floor in front of you.

‘Lucy was really upset that you left.’ He stated, his tone angry ‘That was really rude.’

‘Get out.’ Was your reply, barely above a whisper.

‘What the fuck is your problem?’ he growled, his patience spent ‘She was nothing but nice to you and then you just fucking leave.’

‘She isn't the reason I left.’ You spat, venom dripping from every word as you sat up and glared at him ‘You’re the reason I left.’

‘Me?’ He questioned, pointing at his chest ‘The fuck did I do?’

‘You had no right to tell her.’ You growled ‘You had no right…’ You trailed off, feeling more tears threatening to spill.

‘Tell her what?’

‘You know what Frankie.’ You yelled, scrapping a hand over your tear-stained face ‘There are a handful of people that know the truth about how they died. I choose who I tell, not you.’

‘Arce-.’

‘I’m going to bed.’ You interrupted, getting up from the couch and heading upstairs, leaving a guilty Frankie in your wake.

He didn’t come home for a few days after that evening. You assumed he was trying to give you some space but you didn’t care, you were just too hurt. When he did come back you saw something different in him, something had changed and not for the better. He was withdrawn, quiet. Spending more time in his room or under the hood of his truck than anywhere else and you found yourself worrying about him despite the anger you still felt towards him.

‘Frank, what’s going on with you?’

‘Surprised you care.’ He snarled, pushing his food around his plate with his fork.

‘Fuck you, Francisco. Of course, I care.’ You spat, slapping the table with your hand and making him jump.

You weren’t expecting him to cry.

‘She’s pregnant.’ He said, taking you by surprise.

‘And you’re not happy? You’ve always wanted kids… what changed?’ You asked, your confusion evident.

‘I do want kids.’ He replied, lip trembling ‘She doesn’t.’ He continued ‘She’s booked herself in for a termination next week.’

‘What?’ Your heart shatters ‘Did she even consult you?’

He simply shook his head and you felt your anger bubbling beneath the surface again.

‘I was over the moon when she told me.’ He affirmed, pushing his place away and leaning back in his chair ‘I practically sobbed with joy but then she told me that she was terminating it. Said she’d never wanted kids and that it was the best thing. No kid deserves two junkie parents.’

‘But you’re clean… Aren’t you?’

‘Yes.’ He replied, slightly exasperated ‘And I would do everything in my power to remain clean for that kid.’ He paused, sniffing as he wiped away his tears ‘I begged her to reconsider but she refused. Said that if I couldn’t support her decision then she didn’t want to be with me.’

‘Frank-.’

‘I thought this was it.’ He stated ‘I thought I’d finally found someone I could be myself with, raise kids with.’ His works sting more than he’ll ever know ‘I didn’t think after… After them that I’d ever get a chance to be a dad. I guess I never will.’

You have to push your pain to one side and comfort him. He and his ex had been expecting, he’d been so excited but after Santi had dragged him on a job in South America that had resulted in the death of his commanding officer and them all leaving empty-handed, he’d returned to learn that she’d lost it and left him. You were sure that had contributed towards his downward spiral into drugs, little did you know, he’d had a problem before that. He’d hidden it so well for so long.

‘Frankie I know you’re destined to be a dad.’ You said softly, taking your hands in his ‘You’ll find the right woman one day.’

‘I haven't left her.’ He said suddenly ‘I love Lucy. I just need some time to grieve the baby.’

‘Frank-.’

‘I love her Arce.’ He stated ‘We can work past this.’

You leave at that.

You cried yourself to sleep when he’d moved in with her. You’d helped him pack, drove boxes over to her in your car but you’d hadn’t stayed when they invited you in, unable to bear being around him a moment longer. After that, you ignored his attempts to contact you. Didn’t answer the door when he came knocking. You just let yourself fall into a dark depression, one you didn't think you’d ever recover from and you didn’t expect Benny to be the one that pulled you out of it.

‘What’s going on sweetheart?’ He asked, holding you as you sob into his chest.

‘I’m just so alone.’ You sobbed ‘I’m the plain friend that everyone relies on but no one loves. God, I’ve not been asked on a date in years. My life is a mess and now Frank’s gone and I’m all on my own.’

‘You’re gorgeous babe.’ He said, placing a soft kiss on the crown of your head ‘Anyone would be lucky to have you on their arm.’

‘You don’t need to be nice to me Benny.’ You chuckle, pulling away from his now tear-stained chest to look at him ‘I know I’m not desirable. I never have been.’

Ben looked at you with a troubled expression, unable to believe that someone so beautiful could be so neglected and feel so unappreciated. He’d had a thing for you since Frankie had first introduced you to them all but he’d never acted on it. You were Frank’s best friend after all. You were off-limits.

‘You’re one of the most beautiful women I know.’ He stated, tucking some of your stray hair behind your ear ‘You deserve the world.’

You stared at each other for a moment, your eyes dropped to his lips and his gaze followed suit. The air shifted as he cupped your cheek with his large hand, thumb stroking the apple of your cheek as your eyes locked with each others' again. Then he leaned in and he kissed you, smiling when you gasped in surprise.

It was soft at first, chaste but as you shifted closer to him, legs straddling his lap, he deepened it and you moaned as your tongues dance. It was then a blur of touches, moans and the removal of clothes but the next moment you were truly aware of was him sheathing himself inside of you, kissing you sweetly as you gasped at the stretch.

‘You okay?’ He asked softly, blue eyes searching for anything that told him you didn’t want this but you simply nodded and pulled him into a hungry kiss.

‘Move please.’ You begged ‘Fuck me, Benny…. Please.’

That's all the permission he needed and he started to cant his hips, pushing himself as deep as he could go before withdrawing and slamming back. His pace was slow at first, unhurried, but as your moans grew filthier and filthier he sped up his thrusts, hitting that sweet spot with every movement.

‘Fuck I’m gonna cum.’ You whined, nails digging into the muscles on his back and it spurred him on ‘Fuck…’

‘Let go.’ He growled against the shell of your ear and you did.

You screamed as he made you cum hard, dragging him right along with you and after a few more thrusts to prolong your high’s he collapsed on the couch beside you, kissing you languidly as he stroked your cheek.

‘Let me take you out.’ He said, bumping your nose with his.

‘Okay.’ You replied, grinning at him as you kissed him again and wrapped your hand around his length, pumping him lazily ‘But first, we’re doing that again.’

‘You’re bringing your girlfriend to guys night?’ Questioned Will as he sipped from his beer.

‘I’m crazy about her boys.’ He replied, smiling like a loon as he thought about you.

You’d fucked twice more that night before you’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms, the sex that following morning being the best of all. That evening he took you to dinner and then again the day after that and you quickly fell into a relationship that had you feeling happier than you'd ever been. You’d both decided to keep it a secret at first, just take each day as it came but after being together for 4 months you decided that it was time to reveal to the boys but you were scared of how Frankie would react. The two of you hadn’t spoken much after he’d moved out.

‘Fine but if you’re bringing your squeeze then Fish should bring Lucy. Not fair for the poor girl to sit with three guys all night.’

‘Fish? Think Lu would come?’ Asked Benny, eyes wide and eager.

‘Don’t see why not.’ He replied with a shrug ‘She’s wanted to come out with us for ages so…’

‘Great then that's settled.’ Replied Ben, beaming as he sipped his beer.

He just hoped Lu’s presence would take away from the fact his girlfriend was you.

You sat in the booth, clinging to Ben’s hand for dear life. Your heart was pulsing in your throat, hands shaking as you watched the door for the others to arrive. Will had texted to say he’d be about an hour late but Frankie had confirmed he was running on time. You'd both decided to arrive a little early to get a round in, a little liquid courage you'd supposed. When Frankie walked in, Lucy behind him you felt your stomach twist in knots.

‘Sorry, we’re a little late.’ He said, not looking up as he shoved his keys in his pocket ‘Traffic was crazy…' He trailed off as he looked up, seeing you at Ben’s side ‘What are you doing here? Where's your girlfriend Ben?’

Ben simply put his arm around your shoulders, smiling at Frankie nervously and giving your hand under the table a squeeze.

‘You two?’ He question, motioning between you both with his pointer finger ‘You two are together?’

‘Yes.’ You replied simply, unable to hide the wobble in your voice.

‘Are you fucking serious?’

‘Fish-.’

‘My best friend Ben… Really?’

‘I’m crazy about her man.’ He stated ‘We kept it quiet because we were scared to tell you but we’ve been dating for coming up to five months so we felt it was time you knew.’

‘I managed to get away early. Boss was… wha-‘ Will’s mouth dropped open when he saw his brother’s arm around your shoulders ‘You two?’

‘Yes us two.’ Growled Ben ‘We’ve been dating for almost five months, things are amazing and we thought it was time to make it public.’ He finished, rolling his eyes.

Frankie was glued to the spot, hands shaking as he stared at Ben’s arm around you and h.e felt something he’d not experienced before with you. Jealousy... and he wanted nothing more than to rip Ben off of you and pull you into his arms.

‘Babe?’ Piped up Lucy as she tugged on his sleeve ‘You want a beer?’

‘Uh - Yeah…’ He replied, shaking his head before slipping down onto the bench beside him ‘Thanks, baby.’

She gave him a sweet peck on the cheek and made her way to the bar, leaving him to return to staring at you and Ben.

‘Well, I for one am over the moon for you both.’ Said Will, grinning ‘You look really good together.’

‘Going to make beautiful babies.’ Ben joked and Frankie felt his stomach drop, noting the glint in your eyes as you beamed at the younger Miller.

‘Bit soon isn’t it?’ Boomed Will, letting out a breath chuckle.

‘Nothing wrong with thinking about the future.’ You stated, sticking your tongue out at Will before turning your head towards Ben and kissing him sweetly.

Frankie wanted to leave. He didn't want to stay here and watch you kiss his friend but he knew he had no right to be jealous. He was with Lucy. He'd picked her.

‘Of all the people you could date, why her?’ Yelled Frank, feeling his anger overflowing ‘Why her Ben?’

‘Why does it matter?’ He shouted back.

‘She’s my best friend!’

‘Who you’ve barely seen since you moved out!’ Spat Ben ‘She was so fucking depressed man. You’d left and she felt so alone. Did you ever show her that you appreciated what she did for you when you lived with her? Tell her she was beautiful? Tell her what she meant to you? Because she thinks she is the plain friend, doomed to be alone.’ Ben paused, scrubbing his hand over his face as he glanced at the restroom door ‘I have been into her for years. I held off because I knew she was your best friend but I couldn’t hold back any longer. She’s amazing and I’m falling hopelessly in love with her Fish. She deserves the world and I intend to give that to her.’

Frankie stood there with his mouth agape. He’d realised at that moment how selfish he’d been. He’d never made you feel appreciated, loved. He’d ignored your pain and now he knew that fact his mind was replayed the moments it had slipped out. He’d been so blind to it but now it was too late. He was too late.

Frankie Morales was in love with you… and he’d lost you to Ben.

When they'd returned to the table, Frankie had remained fairly silent as he desperately tried to quieten the anguish in his heart. He wished he'd never realised what he felt, he wished he'd remained ignorant of it but he knew he didn't really love Lucy. He never had.

Your heart raced with a mixture of nerve and excitement as Ben fucked you against the wall of the locker room. You could have been caught at any moment but you'd found yourself begging him for it before he’d lifted you by the back of your thighs and wrapped your legs around his waist, pushing your underwear to the side and slipping his throbbing length into your heat, silencing your moans with his mouth.

‘You gotta be quiet for me baby.’ He whispered, lust blown eyes locked with yours ‘Fuck you’re so beautiful.’ He panted as he rocked his hips, hitting that spot perfectly with each thrust of his strong hips.

‘F-fuck.’ You moaned, biting your bottom lip to stifle the filth that wanted to slip from your lips.

You could feel yourself fast approaching your orgasm and you latched onto his shoulders as your forehead fell against his, eyes remaining fixed on him

‘I love you.’ You whispered, smiling at the grin that swept across his face.

‘Fuck… I love you too baby.’ He replied, increasing his pace as he desperately tried to make you cum before him.

…

Frankie stepped into the locker room but stopped in his tracks when he heard it. Laboured breathing, stifled moans and he peeked around one of the lockers to see Ben fucking you against the wall. Your forehead was resting against his, mouth hanging open, knuckles white as you gripped onto his shoulders.

Then he heard it.

‘I love you.’

‘Fuck… I love you too baby.’

He managed to drag himself away after that, ears just catching your moans as you climaxed and he felt his heart break. Seeing you with him like that being the final nail in the coffin for him.

…

You couldn’t hold back the pleasured sob that escaped your lips as he made you cum, his release following straight behind yours and you kissed his deeply as you clutched onto him tightly, willing your heart to slow.

‘Fuck that was hot,’ Chuckled Ben as he lowered you to your feet ‘Good thing the boys didn’t arrive early.’

‘Would you have stopped?’ You question as you gave him a devilish grin.

‘Not sure I’d be capable of stopping.’ He replied ‘You feel too good.’

‘Mmm good answer.’ You replied as you pulled up your panties and kissed him sweetly ‘Love you.’ You said against his lips ‘Feels good to tell you that.’

‘Feels good to hear it.’ He replied, kissing the tip of your nose.

‘Look who I found making a run for it.’ Stated Will as he emerged from behind the lockers, arm slung around Frankie’s shoulders.

‘Where were you going?’ Asked Ben as he sat on one of the benches in the centre of the room and started to wrap his hands ready for the fight.

‘I uh…’ His eyes locked with yours and you saw something in them that makes your stomach twist Did he see us?

‘I don’t feel well.’ He stated, lifting his cap to adjust his hair underneath.

‘Nothing a beer can't fix.’ Will stated, pulling Frankie towards him and started to head to the ring ‘Meet you guys in there.’

You nod, watching as he led Fish away and then you turned to Ben with a mortified expression.

‘What?’ He asked upon seeing it.

‘I think he saw us.’ You replied plainly, hands shaking as you studied Ben’s reaction.

‘Fuck.’

You were dragged away from Ben’s lips by a knock at the door, the younger Miller groaning as you got off of his lap and padded across the room to your front door, taken aback by who you found standing there.

‘Lucy?’

‘Is Frankie here?’ She asked, her tone a little panicked.

You took her in. She looked unwell, a familiar gloss coating her eyes and you knew she was high.

‘No.’ You replied plainly, unable to hide your distaste at the state she was in ‘Why?’

‘We broke up a few weeks ago.’ She started, taking both you and Ben by surprise as he came up behind you ‘We’ve been texting the past few days. He was sad about something, has been sad for a few months now. He was supposed to come by today to grab the last of his things but he never showed. I tried calling but he isn’t answering. I’m worried about him. Thought maybe he’d come here.’

‘Where has he been living since he moved out?’ Ben asked, snaking his arm around your waist and giving you a friendly squeeze.

‘He found a flat.’

‘What's the address?’ He asked, grabbing the sticky notes and pen from your side table and noting it down as Lucy said it ‘Right. We’ll let you know if we hear from him. Go home and wait. He may still turn up. We’ll go check his apartment.’

Lucy nodded, her whole body trembling from a mixture of worry and need for her next fix. You recognised it, seen Frankie go through it and you felt a flicker of sympathy for her. She did really care about him. Ben called her a cab and saw her off before you both jumped into his truck and headed to the address she had given you, leg bouncing nervously as a terrible feeling washed over you. Your stomach dropped when you arrived, his door wide open and you'd both sprinted inside to find him seizing on the floor as someone, you assumed a neighbour, was on the phone to the emergency services beside him.

‘Frankie.’ You screamed as you fell to his side, cradling his face as his body was rocked with convulsions but Ben was glued to the spot in total shock. You felt sick as you watched his face, eyes rolling back as his seizure seemed to intensify and then it seemed to stop as abruptly as it had started and you sobbed as you rested your forehead against his.

‘Hold on please.’ You begged ‘Help’s coming. Just hold on.’ His breathing becoming more and more laboured.

You were pulled away by Ben as Frankie was then swarmed by medics, the neighbour who’d been there when you'd arrived coming to stand at your side.

‘I heard a scream, like none other I’d heard before, and then a crash.’ She started ‘He’s a nice boy. Gave me a spare key after he managed to lock himself out one night shortly after moving in. I let myself in and he was just laying there…. Then he started to fit and I-.’

‘You did really well... Miss?’

‘Roberts.’ She replied.

‘Well, Miss Roberts. We can’t thank you enough.’ Said Benny as he gave her a friendly smile.

‘Please keep me updated.’ She begged ‘Here’s my number.’ She said as she handed him a card ‘I won’t rest easy until I know he’s okay.’

‘We will.’ He replied, noting you following the gurney out the door ‘I promise.’ He shouted over his shoulder as he followed, leaping into the ambulance and sitting at your side.

The next few hours were a blur. Will arrived at the hospital around half an hour after you and Ben had and now the three of your sat waiting patiently for news. Ben held you tightly, stroking your hair as you clutched to him for dear life. Lips moving in silent prayer.

‘What happened?’ Asked Will, looking at his brother.

‘Lucy turned up asking if we’d seen Fish.’ He started, placing a soft kiss on the crown of your head ‘They broke up like a month ago apparently. He’s been living in town. She gave us his address and when we turned up his neighbour was kneeling beside him as he was having a fucking seizure.’

‘Do you think?’

Ben just widened his eyes, not wanting you to know what he thought. He didn’t think it was right for you to hear it from him if his suspicions were right.

‘Who’s here for Mr Morales?’

‘We are.’ Replied Will as the three of you stood.

‘Is he?’

‘He’s alive.’ He started and you all breathed a sigh of relief ‘But he's lucky to be.’

You all looked up at him with concern and waited for him to elaborate.

‘He overdosed on Morphine.’ He stated and your hand flew up to your mouth ‘It looks to be deliberate. He took enough to cause death. He knew what he was doing.’

‘No Frankie wouldn’t do that.’ You sobbed ‘He wouldn’t try and kill himself.’

'Shhhh.' Hushed Ben as he pulled you into him, stroking your hair in an attempt to soothe you.

‘He went into respiratory distress shortly after arriving but we managed to bring him back. He’s resting now and I’m confident that he’s going to recover. However we recommend that he be sectioned, his files show that he suffers from PTSD and that he’s a recovering cocaine addict. We fear he’s a danger to himself.’

‘No.’ Growled Ben ‘We’ll take care of him.’

‘Ben…’ Will scorned.

‘We’re not having him sectioned.’ He spat ‘We’ll take care of him won’t we baby?’

You nodded without hesitation.

You were allowed to see him a little while later and he’d been awake when you'd arrived but the pain in his eyes had made your stomach twist in knots. The way he’d looked at you made you feel sick to the stomach and you’d almost left, unable to bear seeing him like this.

‘Why Frankie?’ You managed to ask after a short period of silence, taking a seat beside his bed and taking his hand in yours.

‘I couldn’t do it anymore.’ He replied, choking on a sob that fell from his lips.

‘Do what?’

‘I realised too late.’

‘Frankie, what are you talking about?’ You pushed, brows furrowed in confusion.

‘I realised too late and now you love him.’

Your stomach dropped and you withdrew your hand.

‘I’m in love with you Arce.’ He declared ‘It hurts knowing you’re with him. That you love him.'

‘What are you saying Francisco?’ You grumbled ‘Are you telling me you tried to kill yourself because I’m with Ben?’

He didn’t say a word but you could read it in the look he was giving you.

‘Arce-.’

‘No, fuck you, Frankie.’ You spat, clutching your stomach as your sobs overthrew you ‘I’ve been in love with you since high school. I've borne the pain of loving someone that didn’t love me back for over a decade. It fucking hurt but never did I tried to take my own life because I couldn’t have you.’ You paused and his mouth dropped ‘Not even when you told me that when you met Lucy you'd found someone you could "be yourself around"... Those words cut me to the bone but I pushed past it and supported you. Ben is wonderful to me. He loves me. Makes me feel like a goddess. So the fact you "realised" you were in love with me after Ben and I got together… Well, that’s just shit Frankie because I love Ben. I’m finally happy after so long. This...’ You point at him and the hospital room around him ‘What you did was fucking selfish. I don’t- I can’t-.’

‘Arca.’

‘I need to leave.’ You sobbed as you got to your feet and sprinted from the room, not even stopping when Ben called your name.

You couldn’t stay here a moment longer. Not after he'd told you, you were the reason he tried to take his own life. He'd gone too far now.

Frankie moved in with the Miller brother for a little while after leaving the hospital. You’d avoided him, but you hadn’t told Ben what he’d said in the hospital. He’d tried to call, send several texts but you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to speak to him. He'd destroyed whatever had been left of your friendship the moment he'd swallowed those pills.

‘Fish’s really worried about you baby.’ He said softly, brushing his nose against yours ‘Baby he’s a mess. He's desperate to speak to you.’

‘I can’t.’ You replied.

‘Why the fuck not?’ Growled Ben, head shooting back ‘You two have been friends forever. He almost died baby. He needs his friends.’

‘Ask him why he did it.’ You growled, eyes darkening ‘Ask him why and then you’ll understand why I can’t speak to him.’

So that’s exactly what Ben did and Fish had been honest in answering him, leaving Ben in an impossible position.

‘The fuck you mean you’re in love with her?’ He yelled, instantly regretting raising his voice when Fish flinched ‘Is this why you freaked when you found out?’

‘No… Yes…. Sort of.’ He grumbled as he scraped a hand over his face ‘I didn’t realise until I saw your arm around her that I was… and always had been in love with her.’

Ben collapsed onto the couch, his stomach dropping.

‘She said she’d loved me since high school. I’d been blind to it until she had told me and then it had become so painfully obvious.’ He paused, eyes locking with Bens ‘But I’ve lost her to you now. She loves you.’ He hiccups ‘She deserves to be with a guy like you.’

‘Fish…’

‘Ben please.’ He begged, raising his hand to silence him ‘I know what I did was selfish but I was in a hole so deep I saw no way out. Now I’ve lost her completely.’ He threw his head into his hands and sobbed ‘I’ve fucked everything up so badly.’

From that day Ben made it his mission to repair your broken friendship. He had eventually managed to sit the two of you down, making you the both of you talk and after the two of you finally got the truth out there you were able to start to repair the tattered remains of your relationship the two of you had once treasured so much. You’d offered to let him move in again, something that Ben had actually suggested one evening over dinner. Things had been a little awkward at first, especially on the nights when Ben stayed over but as the days faded into weeks. Weeks into months. You found that you were able to fall back into the routine you'd had before, with Ben being an added extra. You'd blinked and a year had passed, your relationship with the younger Miller getting stronger and stronger. He'd moved in with you soon after the anniversary, something that Frankie appeared to take well but little did you know it was eating him alive under the surface. The selfish part of him had hoped that by the two of you living together again, that he'd have a chance to woo you but you were too in love with Ben. He'd never stood a chance. So as the months went on, Ben became more permanent and as time went on you both talked of the future, of what you both so desperately wanted.

‘I’m going to miss you.’ Ben panted against your lips as he thrust himself deep into your heat, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from you as you arched your back to urge him deeper ‘Fuck I’m going to miss you so much.’

‘I’ll miss you too.’ You whined ‘Fuck… Ben.’ You pleaded as your hands grasped at his toned ass ‘Harder… please.’

He did as you asked, increasing his pace and you moaned loudly before throwing your head back in a silent scream. It didn’t take long for him to make you cum for the third time since you'd started, growling against the shell of your ear as you bit down on his shoulder to muffle your scream.

‘Fuck baby.’ He grunted, thrusting half a dozen more times before filling you with his cum. ‘Pillow.’ He said and you grabbed one for him, raising your hips so he could slide it under.

‘You think it’ll take?’ You asked, smiling at him warmly.

‘God I hope so.’ He said as he placed a kiss on your stomach ‘Can’t wait to see you round with my baby in your belly.’

‘You’re cute.’ You giggled, pulling him into a kiss ‘Do you have to go?’

‘You know I do baby.’ He said softly, kissing you softly ‘But I promise I will be back here as soon as I can. Fish’ll take good care of you whilst I’m gone.’

‘Three weeks is such a long time.’

‘I know but think about it this way… When I come back, we can do a test and hopefully.’ He pauses to kiss you sweetly ‘It will tell us we’re going to have a family.’

‘Well, when you put it that way.’ You grinned ‘Perhaps we should do it at least once more… Just to be sure.‘

‘God yes.’ He growled as he kissed you deeply again, feeling himself growing hard again.

‘I read that doggy is an excellent position for conceiving.’ You stated, looking at him seductively 'Allows for deeper penetration.'

‘God I love you.’ He growled as he flipped you onto your front, kissing up your spine as you got onto your hands and knees.

‘Put a baby in me, Benny.’ You begged, wiggling your ass a little as you grinned at him over your shoulder.

‘Would be my pleasure.’ He purred as he pushed himself into your heat again, groaning in unison with you.

The pace he set this time was mind-numbing, the sound of his hips slapping against you only making you more aroused. His hands gripped your hips tightly as he pounded into you and you felt the coil inside you start to tighten, threatening to snap at any moment.

‘Touch yourself.’ He ordered and you shivered at the pleasure his command brought you and slipped your hand down your body and began to rub the bundle of nerves between your thighs, crying out as he started to hit your sweet spot over and over.

‘Fuck baby I’m close.’ He whined, gripping you tighter as he sped up again.

‘So am I.’ you replied breathlessly.

‘Good.’ He growled, pounding into you mercilessly and then you cum together before collapsing on the bed with him still very much inside of you.

Pulling out of you he arranged the pillow underneath your belly so your hips were raised, hoping gravity would help the process along.

‘God I can’t wait to have a baby with you.’ He panted as he laid down beside you, stroking your cheek affectionately.

You beamed at him, taking his hand in yours as you came down from your high. You prayed his seed would take, that he would return to the best news in the world. You’d both decided to keep it a secret, for now, wanting to surprise them all but little did you know that Frankie now knew. He’d walked past your door just as you’d asked Ben to put a baby in you and his heart had shattered.

He’d never get you now.

Part 2

#frankie morales x you #frankie morales fanfiction #francisco morales x you #francisco morales fanfiction #francisco morales #francisco ‘catfish’ Morales #frankie ‘catfish’ morales #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier x reader #triple frontier x you #ben miller x reader #ben miller x you #triple frontier #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #fanfiction #frankie morales x reader

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midnxghtsunwrites · 4 years ago

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GROUNDED

PAIRING —

william miller x black reader

SUMMARY —

You and Will have been through too much for you to abandon him at his darkest hour.

WARNINGS —

angst, fluff

"Baby, I'm sorry." Your voice was quiet as you rubbed the back of William's hand. His skin is rough and scarred against the pad of your thumb — a symbol of the hardships he's endured both during his service and after.

You'd stuck by his side all those years ago when he was in the brigade commandeered by Tom "Redfly" Davis. They were close — damn, you were all close. You were practically Tess's aunt, showing up at every birthday party and barbecue before Tom's divorce made way.

The years you've been with Will gave you clarity — into his struggle with PTSD and the emotional impact serving as a Special Force Operative had on him. He even taught you a thing or two, defense-wise, before he was caught in a situation in your local Publix — his arm wrapped around another man's throat because he hadn't moved his cart. That lead you to jump on his back and wrangle him back to reality.

He's a soldier in every sense of the word.

He'd gotten better after that incident — attending therapy sessions and doing more public speaking at military bases. It was better to keep his mind off of the terror and trauma from his years of fighting in a war.

He was doing better. And then Santiago just had to come along and convince him to join him for one last ride. Of course, you couldn't do much but support him — that's all he ever asked for. Your love and support. And you were hesitant to give it to him.

But, you did.

And he left for two weeks and returned with a bullet wound — another scar added to his shelf of souvenirs — and a dead captain.

The first night he came back was spent on the beachfront of your home, unable to hide the tears any longer. That night, he slept with his head over your heart, almost as if to make sure it was still beating.

You gave him his space for three days — to get his bearings and a handle on life.

You weren't surprised when he gathered you up one day and drove you to your spot. It was where you had your first date however many years ago — he'd paid for the meal and was a proper gentleman. Of course, you just had to give him your number and hope for the best. Immediately, you knew he was drawn back.

He'd just finished his first tour and the trauma was as strong as it was present — you didn't expect to get a call back after he dropped you home. You were at work when he did, though.

From then on, you and Will had been connected in a way no one really understood. But, it wasn't for them to understand. It's like a well-kept secret between two lovers.

Will's eyes are trained on your dainty fingers as you trace jagged waves along his tainted skin. Your touch could calm a storm, he always tells you. His back presses against the wall of the restaurant, a tattooed arm resting atop the back of his seat, and his other arm stretched across the cold metal table towards you.

Your fingers run up the inside of his wrist and trails the ink in his skin. It's his Force tattoo, faded against his fair skin from years of wearing it as a badge of honor. This isn't his only tattoo.

Just on his other arm is a tribute to a fallen soldier from his first tour. They were the closest friends each other had before Benny decided to join the army as well. It was by a miracle that he was put into the same regiment as his brother.

It didn't seem like much of a miracle when William's friend was blown to pieces on the field.

William lazily tips the neck of his beer bottle to his mouth as he shifts his gaze to the crease between your eyebrows — one that only appears when you're concentrated.

You're so taken with his marred skin littered with healed wounds that you jump slightly when he lifts his hand to take a hold of your own, removing your fingers from his forearm.

He raises your connected fingers and presses it to his lips. Your lips form a pout when you see the tears gathering in his eyes. As he draws your hand away, his gaze transfers to the bare ring finger on your left hand.

"I love you." He proclaims, as he rubs your ring metacarpal, "And I want to thank you for being patient with me. I know..." He sighs as he tries to find the right words to say. Finally, "I know it hasn't been easy being with someone so broken."

You want to stop him. You want to tell him that relationships aren't always easy. You want to tell him that he's not broken, just in pain. You want to tell him that you love him too. So much that it hurts.

But you don't. You wait for him to express his feelings. As long as you have to.

"You've been there for me, Y/N — even when no one else has. You've been helping me for so long that I feel..." He can't continue, instead choosing to look down at your connected hands.

Your finger rubs against his as you realize this, "It's okay, Will. You know you can talk to me."

Your words give him that gentle push — "I feel like I'm keeping you from your life, Y/N. You've had to deal with my trauma and I've been ignoring you and your feelings. I don't want to do that to you, baby. Not anymore. I wanna take care of you instead of it being the other way around."

Y/C/E meet blue as you lean back in interest. Your boyfriend couldn't be more wrong about how he thinks you feel. He's held you back from nothing — when you asked him to move to a new neighborhood, he packed up your bags and boxes and loaded the moving truck; when you asked him to stick by you when you went back to school, he helped you study and ace all off your exams to receive your degree; when you asked him to be there for you, he was. And you know he always will be.

With this in mind, you slide out of your side of the booth, your hand still intertwined with his. He watches you, carefully as you step off the platform on your side before stepping up on his. His legs are stretched along the seat, prompting you to plop yourself right down on his lap. His beautiful blue eyes stare up at you.

Instinctively, he plants his beer on the table and snakes his arms around your waist, keeping you in place. You can feel the bulge of his crotch on the right side of your thigh but restrain yourself — now isn't the time.

"You see that?" Your right hand presses against his chest while your left hand finds its place on his strong arm, right above his military tattoo. You refer to his instinct to hold you. "That is you taking care of me. That is you loving me more than I deserve. Baby," You search his eyes, his pupils dilating as he's overtaken with love, "You're my life. Don't think you've been ignoring me, Will. We just had to reduce that pain you've been living with. Because I'm not happy if you're not happy."

Reaching an arm around, you take his hand into yours and pulls it from your waist. His hand falls limp as he watches you draw him towards you. You rest the palm of his hand on your chest, right above your beating heart.

At the feeling of the organ beating against your chest, Will is brought back to earth. You keep him grounded and that's all he could ever ask of you.

"This is yours, Will. You own it. We've been through too much for you not to."

As you watch the thoughts swirl behind his expressive eyes, you're confused when he pulls his hand away from you. He reaches into his jeans pocket and emerges with a clasped fist. Hovering over the table palm down, he opens his hand and brings your attention to the rose gold ring — a significant contrast from the wooden surface it rests on.

Your breath catches in your throat and your heart is pounding against your ribcage.

He looks at it for a moment before tilting his head towards you, "Marry me."

"Will..."

"It’s been a long time coming, Y/N. We've been together for eight years — which I'm sure is seven years longer than what you wanted.”

He loves you, ardently, and now he finds the strength he was searching desperately for just the other day. "I love you, Y/N Y/L/N. With every fragmented piece of me that you've managed to put back together. And I'm forever grateful that you came into my life when I least expected you, but most needed you."

Now it's your turn for your heart to melt — you're growing weak at his words, eyes filling slowly with tears.

His eyes remain on you as you crane your neck to ogle the engagement band on the table. The center is oval shaped and sparkling under the dim lighting of the restaurant. It's beautiful, perfect even — more than you could've asked for.

He is more than you could've asked for.

"I'm done with this shit, babe." Will says as he sees an indecipherable look in your eye. Overthinking leads him to believe that you have doubts about his minimalistic proposal, "I'm completely retired. It's just us — no Pope, no Fish, no Benny, no —" He stops himself before he can say the name.

It's too soon.

The silence between you two is deafening as you're frozen in your spot.

All you can seem to release is his name — it's the only word on your tongue. The only sound you could muster.

He brushes a kinky curl from your forehead and stares up at you, awaiting an answer. Everything in you tells you to speak. To do something — anything.

It's only when Will's grip loosens around your waist that you're snapped back into reality. You'd only dreamed for this moment and now that it's here, your brain seemed to be malfunctioning. Instead of opening your mouth, you reach forward and with your index finger and thumb, you lift the beautiful ring from the table.

"Yes." The word is so quiet that you didn't even realize you said it. Speak up. "Yes, I'll marry you, Will. Christ, you didn't even have to ask."

This has to be the first time he's smiled since he came home. It's bright and amazing and nostalgic. White teeth wink at you as he wastes no time taking the ring from your fingers and sliding it on your digit, his eyes seeming to reflect the sparkle of the engagement band.

The kiss you two share is nothing grandiose. Your kisses rarely are — but they still hold a level of sensuality and passion that many can just wish for. Will runs his tongue along your bottom lip before capturing it in his warm beer-flavored mouth. You don't mind — he has good taste in alcohol.

For a moment, you two forget that you're in a public space. One where patrons are making their exit, but public nonetheless. You pull away when you feel the tears gather in your eyes. You love this man with your heart, mind, and soul — every part of you is overwhelmed with a wave of fervent endearment.

"Damn, I love you." Will exhales as he draws you into a homely embrace.

general taglist : @gwenspacy @dollyhoess @complacentviawattpad @rosenoirwrites @random-ficreader23 @kyla-queen

let me know if you'd like to join my general taglist! feel free to like, reblog, and comment! also, my asks are open — and im taking requests!

#charlie hunnam imagine #charlie hunnam #charlie hunnam x black reader #william miller imagine #william miller x black reader #triple frontier imagine #triple frontier

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cassianstattoo · 4 years ago

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HAPPY ACOSF RELEASE DAY!

(ACOSF SPOILERS AHEAD) ARE YOU EXCITED?

I personally am. It’s time for Nesta’s story (and not just hers) to be told. So, this leads to another thing I think (and hope) you’ve been waiting for.

LET’S EXPLAIN THE PLAYLIST! (Read every song’s meaning while or after reading the book) And thank you for all your love and support.

“Alone” by Melancholia: It describes the Cauldron scene at the beginning of the book. In this song you can feel the rage and how hard she’s struggling. This song is not about weakness. It’s about her strength.

“Impossible” by James Arthur: Chapter 1. Even if it’s not so clear in this chapter, I think this song represents how Cassian feels when Nesta’s around. He feels worthless and not so different from the other men she beds (as he thought in ACOFAS). He lost his hope of an happy future with the woman he loves and he feels like he’s breaking that last promise she made her. Everything just seems so impossible.

“Sister” by The Black Keys: Chapter 2. This just makes me think of Feyre and Nesta’s fight. It’s from Feyre’s pov.

“New House” by Toro y Moi: “I want a brand new house Something I can not buy, something I can afford I just want a long shower I been feeling so crowded” Chapter 3. It’s about Nesta settling down in the House of Wind. It’s not the place she feels she can call “home”. First of all, it’s not really hers. The last two sentences of this verse are about her breathing and trying to calm herself at the end of the chapter. She’s just tired.

“My Mother & I” by Lucy Dacus: Chapter 4. The whole song is about Nesta and the relationship with her mother when she was a child. I think there’s nothing else to say. Also, in the 1st Chapter it says that she’s born in spring, so the song talks about a girl who was born in May. It all fits.

“Teacher’s Pet” by Melanie Martinez”: “Teacher’s pet If I’m so special, why am I secret? Yeah, why the fuck is that? Do you regret The things we shared that I’ll never forget? Well, do you? Tell me that I know I’m young, but my mind is well beyond my years I knew this wouldn’t last, but fuck you, don’t you leave me here” Chapter 5 and 6. Nesta and Cassian’s first day of training together. She basically doesn’t want to act like she’s his pet and she’s got to do whatever he want just to respect her sister’s will.

“Dangerous Man” by Valley Of Wolves: “They say I’m a wanted man Holding line and break the fire I’m setting all the captives free But I’m hanging by a wire” Chapter 7. It’s about Eris and his double-cross. That’s how probably Cassian pictures Eris in his mind tbh.

“Control” by Halsey: Chapter 8. Nesta facing the stairs. It can be linked to other chapters too because if you take this song as a whole and not just a few verses, it really contains A LOT of things. For example, the line “The House was awake”. Also Chapter 9, when people start calling their children. You can find this moment in the song when it says “All the kids cried out ‘please stop, you’re scaring me”.

“Bookstore Girl” by Charlie Burg: Chapter 9. The bookstore girl is Gwyn and Nesta tries to know more about her.

“Wrong Direction” by Hailee Steinfeld: “I don’t hate you” Chapter 12. This song is about the chapter’s ending.

“You’ve Got a Friend In Me” by Cavetown: Chapter 13. Nesta and Gwyn’s interaction. Also, Nesta helping her.

“like that” by Bea Miller: Chapter 16. Nesta and Cassian’s tension is hilarious, but this song makes me thing about this scene so much.

“Queen” by Shawn Mendes: Chapter 17. Elain fighting with Nesta. This lyrics is so powerful. The first part is Elain talking to Nesta. The second part is Nesta talking to Elain.

“You’ll Follow Me Down” by Skunk Anansie: Chapter 17. Same scene. This is totally Nesta. She’s so scared of herself and of the world that surrounds her. She’s afraid to lose her sister in this world she still knows nothing about if not violence. She wants Elain by her side, even if it means dragging her down with her.

“Teeth” by 5 Seconds of Summer: Chapters 18/19. I like to call it “THE chapter”. Do you need me to explain why I chose this song? Um, I don’t think so. You know it.

“Only You” by Ellie Goulding: “Baby I’m on my knees” Chapter 22. He’s... returning the favor.

“Revolution” by Diplo, Faustix, Imanos, Kai: Chapter 24. Our girl Nesta knows what she’s doing. What she’s starting.

“Best Friend for Hire” by Anthony Amorim: Chapter 25. The whole song is about Nesta and Emerie’s interaction. Everytime I listen to it I can’t help but cry.

“Moment’s Silence (Common Tongue)” by Hozier: Chapter 26. Nesta’s worried about Cassian and gives him relief.

“Rise Up” by Andra Day: Chapters 27/28. These three girls are going to rise up, bitches.

“Nina Cried Power” by Hozier, Mavie Staples: Chapter 29. This song is really powerful, just like Nesta. She always is, but in this chapter we learn HOW MUCH.

“Fix Me Now” by Garbage: “Bring me back to life (fix me now) Kiss me blind” Chapter 31. THAT scene. HE HEATED UP THE WHOLE ROOM Y’ALL. Cassian literally kissed her back to life.

“Ready or Not” by Fugees: Chapters 34/35/36. I can’t choose only one quote from this song. But can you hear its vibes? Nesta’s leading a dead army. This is THE power.

“PILLOWTALK” by ZAYN: Chapter 37. *wink* This song says everything.

“Go Fuck Yourself” by Two Feet: Always chapter 37. I couldn’t choose just one song, you know. Also, lowkey Chapter 38.

“Never Again” by Breaking Benjamin: “Never again, never again Time will ot take the life from me” Chapter 38′s ending. All I can say is: NEVER AGAIN.

“Boy In The Bubble” by Alec Benjamin: Not linked to just one chapter. It makes me thing of Azriel a lot.

“Past Lives” by BØRNS: “I've got the strangest feeling This isn't our first time around Past lives couldn't ever come between us Some time the dreamers finally wake up Don't wake me I'm not dreaming“ Chapter 39. Gwyn and Azriel. Well, these lines are about them, but I think the rest of the song represents Elain and Azriel, too. I don’t know if you feel the same.

“Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Green Day: THIS IS AZRIEL’S SONG. YOU CAN’T TELL ME OTHERWISE.

“Watch Me While I Bloom” by Hayley Williams: Chapter 41. Nesta teaching Cassian how to treat a woman. She’s got big dick energy ayeee

“R U Mine?” by Arctic Monkeys: Still chapter 41. Cassian taking control of the situation. This song just screams “dominant” lmao.

“Walls Could Talk” by Halsey: So Halsey once said “The House was awake” (Control). What if those Walls Could Talk? Like, poor thing. It could have a mental breakdown. This song is dedicated to the House of Wind ‘cause it needs respect. It’s alive. Just imagine how’d you feel watching non-stop those two fucking and fighting. Also Azriel, you’re loved.

“Despicable” by grandson: “If I were you I wouldn’t love me neither” Chapter 43. Tamlin deserves a song, too.

“Part Of Me” by Katy Perry: Chapters 45/46. It’s all SO chaotic. This song means a lot of things. They all lied to her, but this song is particularly about Nesta and Amren’s fight. In my opinion, she did the right think telling Feyre the truth ‘cause she deserved to know, but it just wasn’t the right time and space.

“Don’t Give Up On Me” by Andy Grammer: Chapter 47. Cassian’s going to take care of Nesta. She made a mistake but she knows here better than anyone. He won’t give up on her.

“There You Are” by ZAYN: Chapter 50. Cassian comforts Nesta when she finally explodes. He’s there for her with open arms.

“You Found Me” by The Fray: Still Chapter 50. This chapter was so hard to read and this is another song that can describe it best.

“Locked Out Of Heaven” by Bruno Mars: Chapter 51. Illyrian bat boys just love flat objects. I see.

“Thin White Lies” by 5 Seconds of Summer: Chapter 51. Yeah, still thinking about that desk.

“Chosen Family” by Rina Sawayama: Still Chapter 51. This song is wholly dedicated to Nesta’s new found family. Not only Gwyn and Emerie, but also Cassian.

“Library Magic” by The Head And The Heart: Chapter 52. Listen to this song and read the scene at the beginning of the chapter.

“Battle Cry” by Imagine Dragons: Chapter 54. I know it’s weird but I feel this song talks about Lanthys and Nesta’s fight.

“Hurt” by Christina Aguilera: Chapter 55. Nesta takes Cassian to the place she lived with her family in the mortal lands. It’s dirty and broken now but it’s still there. Nes talks about her father and realizes how much he’s done for her and her sisters.

“Story Of Another Us” by 5 Seconds of Summer: Chapter 56. I know this sounds like a sad song but to me it represents Gwyn’s present. The story of their past (of another “them”) and also their present.

“Drama Club” by Melanie Martinez: Chapter 57. Eris vibes, y’all. I know you can feel them. Everytime I listen to this song I can’t help but thinking of him. So the only thing I can tell you is: listen carefully.

“Genius” by Sia, Diplo, Labrinth: Chapter 57. Hear this song. It just makes me think of a ballroom where two people try to talk to other people and they’re avoiding to make eye contact. And they fail (yeah, those people are Cassian and Nesta btw)

“Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish: Chapter 57. Still about Eris, but also Cassian. They can’t stand each other. So imagine the astronomical energy (inside of this bus lmfao) when Nesta comes in between.

“All About Us” by He Is We, Owl City: Chapter 57. Nessian dancing.

“Rock Bottom” by Hailee Steinfeld ft. DNCE: Chapter 58. This song is SO accurate. This is the moment I realized “That’s it. I think I can die happy now” and then I started crying. Nesta just thinking she’s not enough and she deserves to be with someone as ugly as she thinks she is. Cassian is like “shut the hell up, woman” and yeah. That’s the kind of energy and conversation I was waiting for.

“Stop Crying Your Heart Out” by Oasis: Chapter 58. Their life becomes brighter. They have to stop crying their heart out because of their fears and the emotions they keep trying to hide. They need to feel free and express all the love they can give to each other.

“Fade Into You” by Nashville Cast, Sam Palladio, Clare Bowen: Chapter 58. Finally the truth comes out and everything becomes real. Even if the song is pretty sad, the lyrics is just SO accurate and it describes the scene perfectly.

“I Miss You” by Adele: Chapter 59. Basically Nesta feeling needy ‘cause she doesn’t see Cassian for days, but it’s more than that. Pay attention to the depth of the song. It shakes you. And that’s what Nesta feels when she thinks of Nesta.

“Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera: Chapter 59/61. I want to dedicate it to my favorite girls in this book: Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn. They’ve been through a lot but they also learnt to face their fears. And they realized that unity is strength.

“Smile” by Uncle Kracker: Chapter 62. Cassian’s sooo happy to be with Nesta it breaks my heart. And his own too.

“Broken Pieces” by 5 Seconds of Summer: Chapter 62. Aaand here we go again. Cassian just wants Nesta to give him the chance to be happy with her.

“Carried Away” by H.E.R.: Chapter 62. Nesta thinks they got too carried away and now they’re at a point of no return. She opened herself to him too much. It’s not like she regrets this but she understands that now everything’s too real and changing. She doesn’t feel ready.

"What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes: Ending of Chapter 63. Okay, I’ll make you laugh but this is me after reading it. I needed to put a song about how I felt when I read this freaking ending, after all the devastation Chapter 62 brought into my heart. And the fact that Nesta’s 25 and the first line begins with “25 years”... I DIED. Also I think of her just screaming to the word “WHAT’S GOING ON?!”.

“Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves” by Eurythmics ft. Aretha Franklin: Chapters 64/65/66. DO I NEED TO DESCRIBE IT? NAH, I DON’T THINK SO. THESE GIRLS ARE POWERFUL, STRONG AND SMART AS HELL.

“Run The World (Girls)” by Beyoncé Chapters 67/68/69/70. The girls want to win and they’re going to conquer everything with no mercy.

“Puppets” by Depeche Mode: Chapter 71. Eris impotence t is heartbreaking.

“Warriors” by Imagine Dragons: This song is for every character. It’s about Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn, but also Cassian, Azriel and Eris. They’re fighting different battles and they’re doing it with every ounce of power they have.

“Emperor’s New Clothes” by Panic! At The Disco: Chapter 74. Nesta kicking Briallyn’s ass.

“Survivor” by Destiny’s Child: This song is dedicated to Emerie and Gwyn. They spent all their lives learning how to survive. At the end, they finally won.

“Set Fire to the Rain” by Adele: THE Nessian Anthem. I put this here ‘cause FINALLY they’re endgame. But something bad’s about to happen...

“Cancer” by My Chemical Romance: Chapter 76. This chapter’s been the hardest one to face. I had to put the book down for a minute and breathe. I know this song made you panic and ow you know why I chose it. I can’t stop crying thinking about Feyre in those conditions and all the IC and her sisters surrounding her. I’m still so heartbroken.

“You Saved Me” by Skunk Anansie: Chapter 77. Nesta cares about Feyre. She’s her little sister and she just can’t let her die like that. She gave her a happy ending even if Nes had to lose almost every ounce of power she had and learned to accept. But they’re worthless in comparison with her sisters life. She just loves them both. She’d do anything for them and this scene proves it.

“Lean on Me” by Bill Withers: This song is about friendship and sisterhood. Nesta’s relationship with Gwyn and Emerie, but also with Feyre and Elain (and lowkey Rhys). Also, I dedicate it to little Nyx, too. They all love you, babyboy, and would do anything for you. Welcome to this chaotic world, kid!

“Sorry” by Halsey: Chapter 78. These are not explicit apologies. Nesta doesn’t need to say “sorry” vocally. She already demonstrated it. Her actions speak louder than words and her sister know it. This song is not about a “romantic lover” but a “person who loves” and they all love too much and strongly.

“Amazing” by Aerosmith: WE FINALLY SEE THE LIGHT. This is the happy ending they deserve (but the cliffhanger is killing me tbh). It’s about everyone in this book. I put it in the playlist ‘cause at first I thought it could refer to Azriel and Cassian. But the more i listened to it, the more I realized it just describes every single character.

“The Reason” by Hoobastank↓

“this is me trying” by Taylor Swift: Both the songs refer to Chapter 80. Nesta visiting her father’s grave is one of the first steps to finally go on. The songs represent what she really wants to tell her father. He’s the reason to start over. And she’s trying. Even if she made mistakes she’s ready to fight for the happiness and love she denied herself years and now she knows she deserves it.

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rheallsim · 3 years ago

Photo

Who will be the last sim standing? Place your bets now…!

Thousands applied, but only eight were chosen… these are the sims hoping to be the Last Sim Standing!

Deep in the Strangerville Desert lies a derelict plane, left exposed to the elements since it crashed there of unknown causes over fifty years ago. The rusted remains of sun-bleached metal hide a dark secret, however… deep beneath the wreck lies a massive complex filled with dastardly tasks meant to challenge our contestants to determine- through luck and sheer force of will- which one is worthy of the title of Last Sim Standing.

But more on the compound later. Just what is it these sims are competing for?

It’s not just glory that awaits them, though that would definitely be enough of a prize on its own. The winner will also receive §1,000,000 (tax-free!), a lavishly furnished mansion in Del Sol Valley, and the chance to live out their lives as they see fit in the background of a frequently played save file. What more could a sim ask for? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Without further ado, let’s meet our eight contestants! Like our compound, many of them also hide dark secrets of their own. They are…

1: Mimi LeBeurre

Mimi is a neat, erratic foodie with a passion for baking. Don’t let her sweet looks fool you though… not all who have tasted her goodies survived it… She’s a tough cookie and ready to rock this challenge!

(Sim and blurb by @kimbr3)

2: Penelope Garcia

Her official title is “Technical Analyst”, but some say her talents are better suited to more… anonymous pursuits. Under the alias “The Black Queen” she used her hacking skills to reroute millions of dollars from shady off-shore corporate accounts into the coffers of charities and non-profits. Some call her a modern-day Robin Hood, but they don’t know about the hundreds of thousands she skimmed to line her own pockets (and fund her obsessive Funko Pop collection)… She managed to avoid jail-time by becoming a consultant for the FBI, and now uses her skills to track down and convict cyber criminals just like herself. She’s become the thing she once hated most, but she seems totally fine with that.

(Sim by ACMWhitney (Origin ID), blurb by me.)

3: Rufus Dunbrow

If there’s a health fad out there, Rufus was probably a part of it at one point. Juicing? Been there. Enemas? He’s had so many he’s lost a lot of feeling down there and now needs to wear adult diapers to bed. Detoxifying, cleansing, miracle pills, homeopathic cure-alls, IV “therapies”… he’s done it all, so much so that if he donated his body to science they’d probably turn it down.

It may be obvious, but he’s obsessed with his body image. This has lead him in recent years to start working out; a noble goal, except the results weren’t as instantaneous as he would have liked. So, he got a little help from a friend- and their magic syringe filled with steroids, hormones, and other chemicals- to help him instantly “bulk up”.

He probably couldn’t lift a baby if you asked him, but hey, at least he looks good. He spends his time strutting around trying to pick people up at the beach in Del Sol Valley. He’s rarely successful, but that doesn’t stop him from trying. Who wouldn’t want a ride on the Dunbrow Train to Boneville?

(Sim by @shoobysims, blurb by me.)

4: Kristie Sewell

This is Kristie. She’s a “famous” simstagram model who thinks the world revolves around her and she’s allowed to do anything just because she has a couple followers. Her traits are snob, mean and jealous and she really acts like it!

She’s a vegan but doesn’t realize that vegans shouldn’t wear real fur, she also eats chicken because it’s “not real meat”. She wears dreads and will bring up vikings when you try to educate her about cultural appropriation. She also wears a saree as formal wear because her simdian yoga guru said “You can wear anything you want!” and she didn’t realize he meant she could wear any athletic wear for the yoga class.

She uses slurs on the regular and if you call her out on any of this? She will post a teary-eyed snapchat non-apology rant and if you don’t accept that as an apology she’ll claim that you’re just jealous of her.

(Sim and blurb by @mooodlet)

5: Jacob Daramus

This is Jacob. How to describe him? An outdoor enthusiast, avid mountaineer, kombucha master, possibly a serial killer…

Well, many who have gone mountain climbing with him have never returned. He claims it’s just a coincidence, but locals think differently.

Who knows, maybe all the hardships of this challenge will loosen his lips, and he will confess his crimes.

He’s innocent until proven otherwise.

(Sim and blurb by @bakersimmer)

6: Monica Rawls

Monica always loved animals. Growing up on a farm in the boonies meant she was always surrounded by them. Whenever she found a sick or injured animal she would bring it home and beg her parents to let her nurse it back to health. Despite her good intentions, however, few of her charges ever made a full recovery… and being a good farmer’s daughter, she always thought: “Why let them go to waste?” 🤔

Nowadays she self-publishes a cookbook on how to make that perfect “Memorial Meal” for your pet- after they’ve passed, of course. From Parakeet Parmesan to Rotisserie Horse Legs, she’s got you covered for when the only way to move on from the loss of your pet is to make them into a Grand Meal worth remembering.

(Sim by by TheTazzaful (Origin ID), blurb by me.)

7: Kellissa Miller

Kelly Miller always thought she was too good for college. So, she dropped out, changed her name to Kellissa - with two L’s and two S’s, she’ll get mad if you misspell it - and went to pursue her true goal: being famous. She’s tried some acting, singing, playing instruments, but so far nothing. It’s not only the lack of talent: surprisingly, she’s quite a decent musician, but her personality… Oh, she’s rally nice and friendly. As long as you don’t stand in her spotlight. You DO NOT wanna stand in her spotlight. When she heard somebody was organizing a Last sim standing challenge, she had to sign in: becoming famous is worth dying for!

(Sim and blurb by @oswanily)

8: Milo Rees

Milo Rees is the son of two extremely rich and wealthy sims who appears to be a successful artist. One problem, though… he doesn’t actually want to do any of the work needed to be an artist. He just wants to party and enjoy the finer things in life without having to work for them, so his parents forge artworks for him and sell them under his name. Honestly, his number one reason for signing up for this challenge is that it gets his parents off his back about actually working on his painting skills for a while.

(Sim and blurb by @blackfern)

Those are our contestants! Which begs the question… who do you think will be the Last Sim Standing?

Vote here!

(You won’t win anything if you guess correctly, I’m just super interested in who the fan favourite will be. :D You can vote as often as you like, no restrictions!)

The game starts soon… ⏱

[Review the challenge rules here!]

#TS4 Last Sim Standing Challenge #Last Sim Standing Challenge #TS4 LSSC #LSSC #TS4 Challenge #TS4 Gameplay #TS4 #S4 #The Sims 4 #Sims 4 #tw: death

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mattelektras · 4 years ago

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Im not the anon that asked but I would love to hear the serious answer on why you love elektra because I love her too 💗 and I feel like not enough people love her lol

hard to do this without getting into My Issues as a person because thats a huge part of why i just. vibe with her so hard. but GENERAL things

i joke a lot about how i like women who are mean but i REALLY DO LIKE WHEN WOMEN ARE MEAN!!!!!! women who’ve had shitty things happen to them and it hasnt made them kinder or nicer or whatever. not women who dont not take shit because theyre strong n independent or whatever trope we’re on this week but women who dont take shit because they know they dont have to and they dont have to be nice about not taking shit. women should be mean n not worry about being gentle and letting people down gently when they have no reason to listen to them in the first place

negative character development baby!!!!!!!! she started out as a nice wholesome college girl who wanted to fight her cause and help the world, but then these shit things just KEEP happening to her no matter what she does, whether she kills people or she doesnt, it never seems to get better for her and i just love how that SHOWS. she comes off as cold, she’s a little bitter, she doesnt trust people, she doesnt commit to friendships or relationships easily, she doesnt trust anyone, the list goes on. it just very realistic to me how shes allowed to be all of those things that are usually afforded to grizzled male characters like batman and the punisher and any other dude with stubble and a dead girlfriend

all that being said, she has a lot of her fundamental beliefs like she DOES, despite herself, believe people can be good inherently, she just doesnt believe it’s her. she’s a staunch defender of women and kids who've been in shitty situations because she wouldnt want what shes had for anyone else

she canonically has depression and has taken medication for it for a long time, even before her father died in some comics, and she’s believably (to me at least. which might say something about me but. next) someone who grew up w depression and thats just how she is. she doesnt emote much, even negatively. and imo, a lot of depictions of depression are based in like... heightened sadness?? idk how else to phrase it, and whilst that can be the case, its not the only way depression shows itself and i just.... relate to her version of it so much

the fact that she was created by one of the most misogynistic comic creators in the history of the medium who wanted an outlet for his hard on for japanese culture who’d die after her first outing, and shes evolved into such a complex, difficult, unique female character who exists so strongly outside of the man she was written to support

her potential!!!!! she has a best friend within the xmen but shes never interacted with the team as a whole, she has a complicated relationship with black widow who she has so much in common with and would have SUCH a good rapport with, and theres so much to be explored with them in regards to organisations moulding them to be something. she’s died twice and come back not quite the same. can she even die???? what has hand magic done to her??? shes immune to their control, what else has it changed about her??? someone with a brain and taste write a comic about it

while she is completely human, she’s got such total control over her own mind and body that she can slow her heartbeat so no one knows when shes lying, she can hold her breath whilst fighting the purple man so he never gets control of her, she can, to a certain unknown extent “””throw””” her mind at other people’s to immobilise them. there’s a lot that needs to be filled in there but shes potentially very powerful even outside of her physical abilities

one of, if not my absolute favourite thing about her is that you do NOT get to fuck her over twice. bullseye killed her once with her own weapons, she’s a) beat him every time since to the point where he’s openly admitted she was always better than him and b) had her weapons modified to electrocute anyone who touches them that isnt her. she doesnt let herself be hurt twice in the same way. shes just so protective of herself which comes off as being manipulative or cold or that she only really cares for her own wellbeing, which isnt true but she does what she’s gotta do

which is how we get into the whole murdering for money thing like. she doesnt enjoy killing, she doesnt care for the money, she does it because the things thatve happened to her have made her the sort of person who CAN kill and she sees that as being what shes good for. so if thats what she is, she’ll do it well and use her own murderous skills to do good in the only way she thinks shes capable of

ALL THAT BEING SAID. shes not infallible, in secret invasion when she encounters bullseye, she physically shakes like, shes TERRIFIED, but she gets her shit together in a second and shuts that off so she can do what she has to do

and speaking of secret invasion, she was the catalyst for this whole universe altering event and no one ever gave a shit about her except for logan!!!! she lost months of her life and her bodily autonomy and she never once asked for help or got any support and she just got the fuck on with it!!!! jessica got a whole comic about her trauma with the ending being that people DO love and care for her but elektra never got that. she’s just incredibly strong and even if she wasnt, no one would ever know because she deals with it alone

shes just so fucking GOOD at what she does and she rarely gets recognised for that like

wolverine has said she’s more dangerous than him

she took down an entire helicarrier full of shield agents

she took down 3 super skrulls, two of them disguised as the two people she loves most (logan and matt) and again, just!!!! got!!! on with!!!! it!!!!!

got kicked out of the chaste for being too angry or whatever when in fact, stick just didnt like the fact that she was better than the rest of his secret ninja group

matt knows she’s better than him, and that if an enemy can take her out, then he doesnt stand a chance

and finally, just the pretene and mythology to her is really... something. being based on a greek play in name and vague backstory in regards to her father but it being so much more deep and woven in than that, to the point where, if you read electra by sophocles, which i have many times for this specific reason, you would think she came first. and frank miller is NOT that smart to have done it all by himself. she is herself such a refined, classic concept with modern ties but also this ancient ass mythology that makes her so much more than just something marvel did like they do not have the range

idk. she means a lot to me in a way thats kind of embarrassing to admit in regards to a drawing in some comics, most of which i dont even LIKE. you will not catch me being this emotional for any other bitch. i love her so much and whether im projecting or not, no character will ever be Mine (copyright pending) in quite the same way

#anyway. you get to know this and my first name. nothing else i am a VAULT #anonymous #q & a

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mermaidsirennikita · 5 years ago

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books (in the time of corona)

PART I: ADULT EDITION

Let’s get real--we’re all going fucking insane.

Therefore, I’m recommending some books with which you can kill time. I’m breaking them into categories--the romance category including several subgenres but by and large covering books that focus more heavily on the romance than anything else. These will all be adult books; I’m doing a separate page for YA recommendations.

I’ll be adding to this list as I finish books that I feel belong here.

ROMANCE

A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux. A young woman is abandoned by her scoundrel of a boyfriend, only to find a literal medieval knight in shining armor. Pure 80′s cheese, a classic in the time travel subgenre long before Outlander ever happened.

The Circle Trilogy by Nora Roberts. Six sexy people, three men and three women in Roberts fashion, travel across time and parallel dimensions to fight an evil vampire and her undead army. Come for three fun romances, stay in particular for the “virgin bookworm queen captures the heart of the formerly evil 1,000 Irish vampire” ship.

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne. Rival coworkers who’ve always hated each other compete for the same job--until maybe? They start? Hooking up?

From Lukov with Love by Mariana Zapata. A down on her luck singles figure skater pairs up with the pairs champion she’s always despised... Unless they in fact, in a STUNNING TWIST, do not hate each other?

Pestilence by Laura Thalassa. A BIT ON THE NOSE RIGHT NOW, but I promise that this tale of a hot virgin Horseman of the Apocalypse spreading his plague and the one woman brave enough to fuck him is WORTH IT. As is the sequel, War.

My Lady’s Choosing by Kitty Curran. A literal choose your own adventure novel, but the adventures bodice ripping Regency romance plots!!!

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang. A sweet and smart woman on the autism spectrum hires a male escort to teach her to be good at sex. Shit goes DOWN from there.

The Flatshare by Beth O’Leary. She works days; he works nights. She needs a cheap place to stay, and he needs a roommate. So they share a flat and even a bed (sleeping on opposite sides and never at the same time) only communicating through post-it notes throughout the apartment. What could go wrong?

Marriage for One by Ella Maise. She can only get her inheritance if she’s married. Good thing a glacial attorney has offered to marry her out of nowhere, only for paper purposes. What could go wrong???

The Worst Best Man by Mia Sosa. Lina is a wedding planner who was left at the altar. Max is the younger brother of the man who left her, and apparently convinced him to do the leaving. What happens when they work together?

Get A Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert. Chloe suffers from a chronic illness, which means that she’s never had a life--and so she compiles a list that will help her get one. On the list? Meaningless sex. Which she won’t have with her building’s superintendent, even though he’s really down to help her cross off all the other items, riiiight?

HISTORICAL FICTION

Passion by Jude Morgan. The dramatic and intense height of Romantic England, told from the perspectives of Caroline Lamb, mistress of Lord Byron; August Leigh, his sister and lover; Mary Shelley; and Fanny Brawne, fiancee of John Keats.

Girl with a Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier. Impoverished Griet becomes a maid in the household of the painter Vermeer, becoming his muse after he realizes that she has a natural eye--much to the dismay of his wife.

Snow Flower and The Secret Fan by Lisa See. In nineteenth century China, best friends Lily and Snow Flower follow each other through emotional and cultural revolutions, communicating through the secret language of fans.

The Memoirs of Cleopatra by Margaret George. Cleopatra recounts her life story, from her earliest memory, through her affairs with Caesar and Antony, and her end.

Mistress of Rome by Kate Quinn. In Domitian’s Rome, a Jewish girl rises from the position of lady’s slave to the emperor’s mistress through wiles and scheming.

The Tiger Queens by Stephanie Thornton. The rise and fall of Genghis Khan’s empire, as told through the women of his family--from his favorite wife to a clever daughter-in-law.

At the Water’s Edge by Sara Gruen. A socialite follows her incompetent to Scotland as he struggles to find the Loch Ness Monster and redeem his ancestor’s name--finding herself and questioning her life in the process.

A Year of Ravens. A collection of short stories by different authors, all centering on Boudica’s rebellion through the eyes of her countrymen and her enemies.

Feast of Sorrow by Crystal King. A slave becomes a chef in the treacherous household of a social climber struggling to gain the favor or Caesar August.

Fatal Throne. Six authors tell the stories of Henry VIII’s wives, all from their differing perspectives.

Daisy Jones and The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid. The rise and fall of a 1970s rock band is charted through the recollections of its members--as they recall what drove them apart, and in particular the intense relationship between the leader singers.

THRILLERS

The Girl in 6E by A.R. Torre. A woman with murderous impulses locks herself in her apartment to keep the public safe, making a living as a camgirl. She’s left torn between morals and impulse when she begins to suspect that one of her “fans” is dangerous.

Little Deaths by Emma Flint. In 1960s America, a single mother finds her personal life and image called into question when she’s accused of murdering her two young children.

My Sister, The Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite. A nurse covers up her beautiful sister’s murders, only to be caught between loyalties when the doctor she loves falls for said sister.

The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantine. A plain “nobody” transforms herself in order to steal a high society housewife’s husband, only to deal with more than she bargained for.

The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen. A woman obsesses over her ex-husband’s new fiancee, leading her to disturbing lengths.

The Other Woman by Sandie Jones. After meeting her ideal man, a woman must contend with his possessive mother, who will do anything to maintain her hold over him.

Something in the Water by Catherine Steadman. A couple on their dream honeymoon find something in the water that will change the course of their life together.

The Au Pair by Emma Rous. The day Seraphine and her twin brother were born, their mother flung herself off a cliff and their nanny disappeared. Decades later, Seraphine discovers a photo taken of her parents just before her mother’s death--with only one baby. The only person who holds the key to the mystery? The au pair.

My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing. A couple keeps the spark alive through murder.

Lock Every Door by Riley Sager. A young woman takes a job apartment-sitting in a high-end Manhattan building. Shortly after she befriends another sitter, the girl goes missing--with everyone else acting like nothing is amiss.

The Wives by Tarryn Fisher. Thursday is one of her husband’s three wives, though she’s never met the other two. When she finally does meet the third wife, she discovers a woman far different from what she expected--and covered in bruises.

FANTASY/SUPERNATURAL/HORROR

Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier. Sorcha is the youngest of seven children in medieval Ireland. When her stepmother curses her six older brothers to live as swans, Sorcha agrees to weave them shirts of painful thistles, all the while remaining silent, to break the spell.

Black Pearls by Louise Hawes. A collection of dark fairy tale retellings.

The Incarnations by Susan Barker. A man receives letters from an anonymous source, detailing his supposed past lives throughout historical China.

Girls Made of Snow and Glass by Melissa Bashardoust. A dark Snow White retelling, with a stepmother whose goals extend far beyond the princess.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo. Alex Stern is discovered as the sole survivor of a brutal multiple murder, and is promptly scooped up by a group charged with monitoring the occult societies at Yale. Now disguised as a university student, Alex must figure out who’s been murdering locals, while also hiding what happened the night she lived.

The Silent Companions by Laura Purcell. A young widow in Victorian England is sent to her husband’s country estate to wait out her pregnancy, and is not alarmed to discover a “silent companion” (a painted wooden figure) in the house. But when the figure’s eyes begin following her, she is sucked into a history beyond her imagination.

Circe by Madeline Miller. The story of the woman who would seduce Odysseus, from her beginnings as a plain witch born of Helios and a mother who couldn’t care less. A classic rise to power story.

CONTEMPORARY LIT

Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows by Balli Kaur Jaswal. Down on her luck Nikki takes up a job as a creative writing class instructor for the Punjabi widows in her West London neighborhood. It turns out that the widows thought she was there to teach them to write in English--which leads to the class becoming a place for them to share their stories orally instead. And it turns out that they’re a bit... erotic.

An American Marriage by Tayari Jones. Upwardly mobile newlyweds Celestina and Roy have their lives upended when Roy is falsely accused of a terrible crime and sent to prison for twelve years. When he’s released early after five, he returns home to find that Celestina has changed completely, and their marriage is entirely unknown.

Stay With Me by Ayobami Adebayo. A young Nigerian couple has always been against polygamy; but after the wife fails to get pregnant, her in-laws show up on their doorstep with a second wife.

NON-FICTION/MEMOIR

Harem: The World Behind The Veil by Alev Lytle Croutier. An examination of the Ottoman Empire’s harem culture, focusing on the women within.

Love For Sale: A World History of Prostitution by Nils Johan Ringal. Not really a GLOBAL history of prostitution, but a good introduction starting with ancient times and going into the cases of more recent madams in America, with a strong case for legalization worldwide.

Georgiana: Duchess of Devonshire by Amanda Foreman. A readable biography of the famously scandalous and tragic duchess, to be read while you kill time rewatching “The Duchess” starring Keira Knightley.

Lucrezia Borgia: Life, Love, and Death in Renaissance Italy by Sarah Bradford. A fair but none-too-precious assessment of one of Renaissance Italy’s most controversial women, and an analysis of her relationships with her father and brother.

The Life and Death of Anne Boleyn by Eric Ives. While you’re quarantining, you might as well read the definitive Anne Boleyn biography, yes? This one is responsible for much of the modern attitude on Anne.

Queen of Fashion: What Marie Antoinette Wore to the Revolution by Caroline Weber. A fascinating analysis of Marie Antoinette’s political life through her clothes.

The Monster of Florence by Douglas Preston and Mario Spezi. An analysis of the infamous, unsolved “Monster of Florence” case. One of the most gruesome serial killers in Italy’s history, the monster’s crimes were pinned on several different men, and even investigated by the prosecutor who botched the Amanda Knox case.

The Forger’s Spell: A True Story of Vermeer, Nazis, and the Greatest Art Hoax of the Twentieth Century by Edward Dolnick. An examination of the case of Han van Meegeren, a painter who forged and sold many Dutch master fakes, and the pretentious art world that let him get away with it for years.

The Secret History of the Mongol Queens: How the Daughters of Genghis Khan Rescued His Empire by Jack Weatherford. A study of the women in Genghis Khan’s family, and in particular those that kept his empire from falling to ruin after his death. A good companion read with Stephanie Thornton’s fiction novel Tiger Queens mentioned above.

Chasing Aphrodite: The Hunt for Looted Antiquities at the World’s Richest Museum by Jason Felch and Ralph Frammolino. How did the Getty Museum end up with so many stolen artifacts? This book aims to find out.

The Creation of Anne Boleyn by Susan Bordo. A different kind of Anne Boleyn book, studying her portrayal in culture and fiction--complete with input from Natalie Dormer following her portrayal of Anne Boleyn on The Tudors.

Blood Sisters: The Women Behind the Wars of the Roses by Sarah Gristwood. An examination of the women of the houses of Lancaster and York during their famous, long-running conflict--and how these women had an impact on battles and politics alike.

The Dragon Behind the Glass: A True Story of Power, Obsession, and the World’s Most Coveted Fish by Emily Voigt. The author delves into why people are so obsessed with the arowana, a rare and exotic fish, to the point that they’ll commit murder--and becomes wrapped up in the fascination herself.

The Rules Do Not Apply by Ariel Levy. Over the course of a month, Ariel Levy watches everything she held true in her life--her financial security, her career, her marriage, and her pregnancy--fall apart. Levy must confront what it means to live an “unconventional” and “free” life, only for that to become meaningless, and pick up the pieces.

From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to find The Good Death by Caitlin Doughty. Doughty recounts her global travels to observe and study different funerary and death rituals, recounting and analyzing her experiences with respect and personality.

Lady Killers: Deadly Women Throughout History by Tori Telfer. A collection of female serial killers, analyzing why they did what they did and the cultural legacy they left behind.

Severed: A History of Heads Lost and Heads Found by Frances Larson. A history of decapitated human heads, and what different cultures have done with them.

From Scratch: A Memoir of Love, Sicily, and Finding Home by Tembi Locke. Tembi Locke was never truly accepted by her husband’s Sicilian family, as a black American woman. But when Saro dies young of cancer, she finds herself more deeply entwined her in-laws, as she works to pick up the pieces. (Warning: one of the most achingly romantic books I’ve ever read; but it will destroy you.)

#books #book recommendations #book recs #self reblog for new addition

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zombiebridexd-sonicsbitch · 4 years ago

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Fuck it here’s my AU of Mephiles info

Name: Mephistopheles Lucious Faust

Age: 25 (biologically) 70+ (chronologically)

Birthdate: November 14th

Birthplace: Vatican City, Rome, Italy

Gender: Male

Height: 3'3"

Weight: 83lbs

Fur: ,Black, Dark Purple, Light icy Blue, white

Skin: Light grey

Eyes: Green with red Sclera

Nicknames: Mephiles (preferred name) Mephy, Meph,

Personality

Mephiles is extroverted. He's outwardly very cocky and over confident to the point of narcism. Although he is charismatic and humorous Mephiles is also arrogant, rude, selfish, and short tempered. There are very few characters Mephiles actually likes. Often times Mephiles will like someone based on usefulness and loyalty, however more often he seems attracted to characters who are weak, quiet, insecure, or anxious. Above all Mephiles is promiscuous and not above having affairs.

History

Early childhood

Mephiles was Born on November 14th 1992 under unusual circumstances, his mother is named Saria Faust although it is unclear and never officially stated who or where his biological father is. Mephiles didn't have a very remarkable childhood, between the ages of 4 and 11 he moved around frequently, at the age of 4 he and his mother experiences a plane crash together, they're injuries were both serious and doctors remarked that Mephiles "should be dead", ever since then Mephiles has had a very intense fear of heights. At the age of 10 Saria got pregnant with Mephiles' half sister Emily Faust. Although Saria refuses to discuss who Emily's father is, Mephiles had actually met him the night Saria conceived. Mephiles was cruel to young Emily, so much so in fact that Saria had sent Mephiles away to a school for "Troubled Youth", during that time (around the age of 14) Mephiles began flirting with Teachers and students mothers. He rarely pursued his fellow students because "they don't put out".

Criminal Career

After Graduating at 17 Mephiles attempted to move back in with Saria, she allowed him and Mephiles discovered Emily's usefulness despite the fact she was only 6. Emily was very obedient to Mephiles and idolized him, fuelling his Ego. however she soon started school and Mephiles had no choice but to occupy his time elsewhere. Mephiles found father figures in local Mobs, he had a particular favourite mentor named Echo Alfonsi, although Mephiles has never brought him up in the present, Mephiles himself may have ended Echos life. Its unknown exactly what happened however all that is known is Three mob members died (including Echo) however Mephiles inherited Echos wealth (as stated in a personal will) After 7 years of gaining wealth he forced Emily (now age 14) out of school and training to join him on his escapades. He began Traveling and was interested in Chaos Emeralds more than anything, when he learned that a man named Evan Brayer may have information and direct ties to one, Mephiles befriended him and made many bribes and offers to gain this information, however Evan was more interested in Emily, Mephiles made a deal to Sell Emily to him in exchange for information, Evan agreed. Of course Evan was only interested in being sexually involved with Emily, Emily tried refusing but Mephiles forced her to go through with this. This deeply affected her, the following months she became almost catatonic and Mephiles was considering abandoning her in peruse of the emerald, before he could decide Emily had actually gave birth to a child, Emily made the decision herself to give the child away. The information Evan gave Mephiles had lead them to Australia where they learned that they were on a wanted list almost world wide. it took two years to gain any new information on the emerald however soon after Emily was arrested and held. Before Mephiles could help her at all she freed herself. Emily and Mephiles stayed in Austrailia for quite some time, Mephiles was mostly interested in becoming criminally successful there however the environment didn't jive with him. When all hope was seemed to be lost Mephiles made another breakthrough and became very close to achieving an emerald, although the timing was poor, Emily had told Mephiles she was pregnant and wanted to keep it. Mephiles was infuriated and tried everything he could to force her to give it up but she wouldn't budge, it only infuriated him more when he learned the same person who arrested her also impregnated her, a man by the name of Thunder Miller. Mephiles became distracted with Emily's personal drama. its unclear weather Mephiles actually cared for her well being or was just entertained by her conundrum like a television show. Emily gave birth to a baby boy named Crash and immediantly moved in Thunder to raise their child in north america, although it started plutonic it soon became a romantic relationship

Mephiles had forced himself to live with Emily and Thunder and began leaching off their already limited resources. It is at this time Suzie and Despair Miller (Thunders Silblings) joined the group. Mephiles actually very much enjoyed the company of both Suzie and Despair. Particularly Suzie. Suzie had already had a boyfriend at this time however Mephiles convinced her to have an affair with him. Things in the household became very relaxed compared to Mephiles' previous life, although on the side Mephiles and Despair began a drug business, Despair was very skilled in narcotics and they made a living off this business right to the present day. Suzie eventually left her boyfriend for Mephiles and they became official (this is not Mephiles' first girlfriend).

Mephiles and Suzies Family Life

The Two had lived together for a couple of years, overtime they began to fight more often and Mephiles eventually started to become physical. Not long after the violence Suzie became pregnant with Mephiles' first child. Mephiles was extremely opposed to the idea of starting a family but in the end became apathetic to the idea. Suzie had a little girl named Eternity. Mephiles had no experience caring for infants or children at all. Mephiles just simply drank and smoked while Suzie took care of their child, Suzie and Mephiles' relationship was never the same after this and Mephiles began sleeping with other women frequently. by the time Eternity was 17 Suzie and Mephiles were off and on.

Relationships

Emily

Emily is Mephiles' younger sister, however its unclear if they are even related by blood. Mephiles views Emily as a utility and sees her as useful. However Mephiles shows very little patience for her and tends to 'discipline' her by verbally insulting her, pulling her tail, slapping her, pushing her and literally stepping on her. Emily could possibly kill Mephiles due to the fact she is technically more skilled than him, however she's been beat into submission and would never be able to bring herself to do so.

Saria

Saria is Mephiles' Mother, outside of childhood Mephiles very rarely interacts or speaks of his mother. During childhood Saria avoided Mephiles and showed almost no affection to him unless it was absolutely necessary. Mephiles had even been quoted as saying " My Mother never hugged me." Saria seems to show no interest in Mephiles' children or his life at all and refers to him as his full name Mephistopheles. Mephiles had never expressed much of an opinion on her at all. good or bad.

Thunder

Mephiles despises Thunder, despite this he can tolerate being in the same room or even spending time with Thunder, however Mephiles will make degrading jabs at Thunder or start random fist fights with him seemingly out of no where. Mephiles tends to be very fake with Thunder making him seem more close with him than how he really feels.

Suzie

Suzie is one of Mephiles' ex girlfriends. She had Mephiles' first ever child. Mephiles at one time was extremely nice and kind to Suzie but overtime it became abusive and controlling. Even though Mephiles and Suzie are no longer an item Mephiles still claims Suzie is 'his'. He gets very jelous whenever suzie gets a new boyfriend or Girlfriend. Despite the history Mephiles sees Suzie as very likeable and attractive, given the opportunity Mephiles would always attempt to be with her again.

Despair

Despair is Mephiles' best friend. The two of them enjoy their time goofing off or starting a drug business together. Depsair had expressed before he has a slight crush on Mephiles, this had never phased him but he does use the crush to further manipulate Despair.

Eternity

Eternity is Mephiles' first born child. His opinion on her changes a lot based on circumstances. He rarely showed her affection and patience. He was both verbally and physically abusive to her and was unreasonably strict, not allowing her to leave with friends but also demanding her to be 'out of the way'. Mephiles now almost never sees her, the last time they interacted was when he cut her credit card off because she was in a porn. This act of discipline is very confusing and its always unclear how much he actually cares for Eternity.

Echo

Named after Mephiles' father figure, Echo is Mephiles' first son. Mephiles hates Echo, possibly much more than Thunder. Mephiles had attempted multiple times to kill echo, sometimes subtly by providing him with large amounts of alcohol, or trying to drive him to suicide intentionally. Sometimes he will just directly attempt to kill him with his own hands by stabbing him or drowning him in a toilet. Mephiles views Echo as a mistake, he's almost always annoyed by anything he does. He thinks Echo is entitled, whiney, useless, pathetic and overall disappointing.

Trivia

-Mephiles favourite genre of music is Jazz, specifically WW2 era jazz

-Mephiles has quite a large sweet tooth but favours Cherry flavoured candy

- Mephiles tends to take criticism relatively well unless it is about the size of his testicles

- he is fluent in 3 languages: English, Italian and german

- Mephiles has a secret love for cooking shows

- his favourite holiday is Christmas

- he smokes Camels Cigarettes

- his favourite colour is green

- as a young child, his favourite topic was Dinosaurs

-through his life he has broken just about every bone in his body

- he is non-political

- his top class in school was History

-he is a high functioning alcoholic and an addict

- he is incapable of dying from illness or age, and cannot age above 25 physically, however he can still be killed via injury or body distraction

- he has been buried alive before

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angieschiffahoi · 5 years ago

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Reasons why Terminator Dark Fate is a worthy sequel of T2

It wrapped up a stale story and respected its predecessor’s finale

Skynet is dead, long live Skynet. Yes, there is no fate and Sarah was able to kill Skynet, but Skynet wasn’t a product of only its time nor an incident made by rogues: Skynet was a warning of what would become of people if they were too arrogant. It’s a tale of hybris. Men get too self-reliant and create something that will bring about their downfall: they become God, but by becoming God they commit a sin so big, they will need Jesus Christ (John Connor or James Cameron, if you will) to save themselves. I mean, if you don’t see the correlation between the Virgin Mary and Sarah Connor (Sarah is also the wife of Abraham, the quintessential mother in the Bible), y’all are blind (she gets inseminated by an “angel” sent to protect her, by her own son, ergo God). Terminator Dark Fate didn’t become woke, it did what T2 started to do, it de-christianized its message for a wider audience (Hollywood doesn’t pander to white christian americans anymore in 2019, go figure). In both movies, Sarah isn’t the Virgin Mary anymore, she’s the mentor, she takes action and she changes her own future and that of billions of people: she becomes the saviour. In the sequel to TDF she obviously was supposed to be the mentor to the new saviour. By killing John, it gave the story back to Sarah and a new hope for the future, taking out some of those harmful tropes where women are only good to “birth” the father of the resistance and not be them. John Connor was never a character you were going to be satisfied with, because he’s an ideal. You liked the teen version, because he was a rebel-ish punk who did everything he wanted, had a motorcycle and a pet robot. You were never going to like the gritty future version of a man destroyed by everything and also he was never supposed to become that. All of Sarah’s struggles the moment she found out she was pregnant were to protect her son from that future. Hadn’t they killed him off in 1999, he would’ve just been a 45 year old drunk - that’s where his character was going after defeating Skynet.

It isn’t contraddictory to have another AI replace Skynet.

Skynet and Legion are a cautionary tale, they are false gods, Frankenstein’s creature and the devil. It’s not repetitive, it’s not something that can be prevented in full, because humanity IS on that path. Humanity wants to play God and Sarah and John’s effort to stop Skynet was silent, it was secret (despite Sarah’s efforts to have people believe her, nobody did). Do you really think it would be so difficult to imagine another company, working on a similar project, at the same time in the late 90s - early 2000s? The only weak point is the implication that Legion would occupy terminators and the same tactics as Skynet, but I’m guessing if Sarah has been killing Terminators in the past for 30 years, Legion could’ve “read” something about it and developed itself to fit the past or got inspired, I don’t know. It’s not that far-fetched to have another AI use the same tactics.

It introduced a new scary terminator, who is perfect for 2020

The Rev-9, like its predecessors, is an inflitration model (and that’s the only reason they cast a latin actor) who is built to hunt the same way the first two were, but it does it better: because 2020 is a scary time. The T-800 had to look on a phone book and kill three Sarah Connor before getting to the right one. This one? It needs a working internet connection.

Also, to all of you saying that politics should stay out of movies,

- the T-800 was an intimidating male hunting a defenseless woman

- the T-1000 was a cop hunting a supposed “crazy woman and criminal”

- the Rev-9 is an immigration officer hunting a defenseless immigrant.

not that hard to spot the similarities.

It answered the question “what happens to terminators when they fulfill their purpose?”

Arnie is old and that’s what made it so much more believable for me.

People keep using this quote from The Terminator to say how terrible writing and what a huge plot hole it was to make the T-800 a dad: “That Terminator is out there. It can't be reasoned with, it can't be bargained with...it doesn't feel pity of remorse or fear...and it absolutely will not stop.Ever. Until you are dead.”

Here’s a few reasons why their reasoning is biased:

First, off screen reason: this is the first movie, Cameron had no idea what would become of its own sequels. He hadn’t predicted Arnold would have such a following and I’m sure a re-programmed Terminator wasn’t in its plans. The first movie was about the horror of the terminator, we weren’t supposed to feel anything for it but fear, because its purpose was to scare us and nothing else.

Second, in-character reason: Kyle Reese is a soldier in the future. He has only seen these machines kill and maim and knows that, just because this one has skin and hair and muscle on its endo-skeleton, it isn’t less machine than the ones he has been fighting all of his life. He only knows this one’s worse: because he has a single purpose.

Third, non canon reason: Cameron from TSCC. Nobody was offended when she started to develop feelings for John in that series, why is everyone so offended by Carl now? Yeah. But it’s not canon, so let’s go to the last reason.

Fourth, canon, on-screen, in-character reason: THE WHOLE EFFING MOVIE YOU LOVE SO MUCH. Terminator 2 is all about the differences between the T-1000 and the T-800. Yes, it was re-programmed, but it wasn’t programmed to get attached to John, to learn from him, to almost act as a surrogate father, to give him a sign of their relationship as he was lowered to his death. It has been established machines can feel. Even the Rev-9, who’s still fully on mission, has a personality, the same way Patrick’s was. They exist, therfore they are. They have their own thoughts, their own doubts and that means they can develop a conscience and get attached. Carl says he doesn’t love his family the way a human would and it shows, the same way the T-800 from T2 didn’t love John like a Kyle Reese would have.

It gave us a new found family dynamic and used old tropes to tell new stories

Dani, Grace and Sarah have an amazing dynamic. Adding Carl to the mix was a bonus, because it created tension, but at the same time it gave us back that soft T-800 everyone of us fell in love with at 10-13 years old.

It did what TFA tried to do but better, imho. Star Wars fans were starved and when Disney made that movie, it still was considered a good producer of excellent content (now, not so much). TDF was produced by a variety of studios, because nobody wanted to take full responsibility after the disaster that was Genysis (and who could blame them?). Nobody praised TFA for its attempt to start a new saga, re-using ANH’s storyline with new characters and then build from there a new story, but it’s because they didn’t do it right. TFA doesn’t give you time to care about the characters, it’s a messy introduction of what could’ve been a very good trilogy if only they tried harder.

TDF, in my opinion, did try harder. It gave us a simple hunter-hunted storyline, where all of the cast is in the same place at the same time. This way, you can care about the development of their relationships. You care about Grace and Dani, not because the movie told you to, but because you can see Grace’s affection and ammiration from the very first scenes and, by the end, you see the affection Dani has for this stranger who’s sole purpose it taking care of her, when she’s so used to be the one to take care of others (see the first few scenes with her brother and father). You care about Dani and Sarah, because the whole movie builds up to the mentor storyline without telling you. You care about Carl and Sarah, because of all the build up from past movies, but also because of the little things (”I’m never f* calling you Carl” to calling him just that a few scenes later or Sarah calling out the Rev-9 by telling it, “we’re not machines”). Everything it did, it did without telling us what to feel and that’s rare in a world where franchises are constantly telling you who you should like and why, instead of writing a good story and letting you figure it out by yourself.

-----

It is not by far a perfect movie. Having 3 producing companies and six writers didn’t help, the same way it didn’t help that Tim Miller was basically ghost-directing for the ever-too-busy James Cameron.

It could have been better in many ways: firstly, by using smaller scenes and a smaller budget and maybe a little less CGI and a little more practical effects. It was too ambitous and fans hadn’t yet forgiven this franchise for Genysis, because fans are butthurt babies who only want things to be they way they want them (I hated Genysis, don’t get me wrong, but I decided if this movie was going to be worth it once they said it wouldn’t be a sequel and watched a couple of trailers, it isn’t that hard). Another reason it bombed, beside the active boycotting, was the close to absent promotion except for a couple of lines.

Anyway, this messy post is just to explain the reasoning why I believe it is a worthy sequel and, in my opinion, without the nostalgia goggles on and taking out of the equation the “originality” factor, I dare say it’s perfectly on par with The Terminator.

#terminator dark fate #terminator #terminator spoilers #spoilers #angie rants #ignore #personal #long post

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