#its because people get harrassed for using the known labels in a way people dont like

[ratbastarddotfuck]

Okay this one is not gonna be a popular take on tumblr but.

Identity policing is pointless and dangerous and honestly only really works in online spaces. I say this and you might think "yeah identity policing sucks" but I need you to think a bit deeper.

When you get into a real life queer community (and I DO mean queer specifically, radical inclusionist queers) people don't give a shit. You hear this kind of thing a lot on tumblr but I think it is important to specify, because a lot of more general "lgbt+" groups HAVE been poisoned by the online discourse.

I've been a part of a proper queer community for a couple of years now and here is the thing.

Many more people than you think have a constantly shifting sense of identity, or experience multiple, supposedly conflicting identities at once, and they are allowed to express those identities in a way that makes them comfortable.

My partner is a nonbinary trans woman. They date people of many different genders, and generally consider themself to be bi. But sometimes they refer to themself as a lesbian, because they feel like or want to be a lesbian on that day. They are still dating and love me/their other non-woman partners on these days, it's just an identity they resonate with at that time. This is what I mean when I say constantly shifting identity.

I am a gay, bisexual, asexual, genderfluid nonbinary transmasc. I experience so many different identities at once - my gender and my sexuality are informed by each other constantly. I always feel more masc when I am attracted to a masc person, and I always feel less masc (but rarely more fem) when I am attracted to more fem people. Any time I feel attraction I usually consider it gay attraction, even if I feel attraction to multiple differently gendered people at once - I'm bisexual from a technical standpoint, but I'm almost always just gay (but sometimes I truly am just a raging bisexual). I am genderfluid but I am also always nonbinary. My gender goes between multiple, often unidentifiable nonbinary genders, but rarely if ever a binary one.

When I talk to cis people, or less-radical trans people, I generally just say I'm a bi nonbinary person. Nobody needs to know all of that except the people I want to tell it to. BUT those are all facets of my identity that I do experience and I am allowed to express those. Just the other day I tagged a post about how much I love my partner (wife, I said in that post) with "lesbian" - the reason being they were having a lesbian day and I was very much in love with them and feeling pretty much a "gay almost-woman" myself.

(And this, by the way, is why the word queer is so useful and important and you can pry it from my cold dead hands :)

Another thing to think about is how we treat genderfluid people and their attraction in general. There are often posts with a "mlm/nblm" or "wlw/nblw" tag at the end - do these include genderfluid people? Am I allowed to reblog a mlm post when I'm having a man-adjacent day, even if I don't always feel like a mlm? Am I allowed to reblog a wlw post on a woman-adjacent day? My identity can fluctuate minute to minute, am I going to get a callout post from someone who doesn't understand the intricacies of my identity if I reblog a mlm post and a wlw post in quick succession?

And this is bringing me to the next part of this discussion, and the reason it is important to think about: the culture on tumblr (and, i believe, twitter) of calling people out for having what YOU perceive to be conflicting identities, saying that they're "appropriating x identity" or using it for clout or to escape the repercussions of an offhand comment they made that you didn't like (and I can name at least one popular tumblr user who did and still sometimes does experience targeted callouts and harassment for being a "lesbophobe" because they identify as a lesbian in a way the tumblr culture at large doesn't like, but I digress).

You do not and can not know the intricacies of someone's identity unless they tell you. If you read the earlier parts of this post and agreed or understood that people can have multiple "conflicting" identities, then I do not want to see you sharing callout posts for people who ID in a nonconventional way. You don't know, and overall it really does not fucking matter. The oft-repeated line of "how does it impact you if someone is gay/trans/etc", spoken to homophobes and transphobes frequently, is applicable here: how does it impact you if someone identifies in a supposedly nonconventional or conflicting way? It does not. And in real life queer communities, people do not give a shit, because we have bigger problems to deal with OUTSIDE the community, we don't have time for infighting. We have more in common than we have apart.

[ddejavvu]

I saw this discourse on your account a while ago about an anon asking what pro-ship is and I'd like to inform you that the person that replied and told you that it's just shipping pedophilic ships and such, is wrong. (Sorry, I just remembered about it.)

Pro-ship is anti-harassment against people and their fictional ships. All it is is Anti-Harrassment for people shipping what they ship. As well as not invalidating people's ships because they ship something that's problematic- in any and all ways, more than just pedophilia.

Examples can be Billy Hargrove x Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington x Robin Buckley, and of course it can be things such as Henry x Jane Hopper or Nancy Wheeler x Mike Wheeler. However, pro-ship is more than just validating and supporting problematic ships, it can also be just normal ships as well. Some examples can be Tommy Hagan x Steve Harrington, Robin Buckly x Chrissy Cunningham, etc.

Pro-ship is not but can include dark themes, taboo topics, etc.

Pro-ship is just generally not invalidating someone nor harassing someone for their ship that is fictional. Fictional is not reality.

Pro-ship are aware of the things that aren't okay with their ship if it was reality.

Pro-ship does not mean you support or condone such actions in real life.

A percentage of pro-ship people use their ships and content as a coping mechanism and suggested by therapist to vent out their traumas.

••••••••••••

However, anti-shippers are just people who don't agree with pro-ship beliefs.

Such as validating ships that someone ships. Examples are (like above but put into more general dynamics) bother x sister or teacher x student or racist character x poc characters or gay x lesbian, they believe its wrong and shouldn't be supported.

They dont believe its okay to make and distribute this content, even if fictional because of their morals and own humane principle. Which is completely understandable Although most anti's will use pedophilia to describe why they're not pro-ship (of which pro-ship is not pedophilia)

Another point anti's tend to use against pro-ship supporters is that they're pedophiles themselves. However, that isnt completely true. I've heard about known Anti's to be pedophiles but not a peep from pro-ship supporters besides one person who was using pro-ship as a way to cover why minors are allowed in adult spaces, which isn't good and shouldn't be supported.

Although both sides shouldn't harrass anyone on either side, it's a common method from Antis to harrass, dox, suicide bait, send gore, death threats, etc to Pro's. Some of the Anti community does not agree nor support with such actions people in their community are doing and most, if not all, pro's refrain from such actions on matter the side you take because it goes against their own beliefs as Pro-ship. (However I'm not saying some dont do it, just pointing out that most of the community does not claim them and will heavily apologize for their behavior as they're disgusted as well)

I wanted to send this to you so you knew for your own acknowledgement.

To people on both sides, I hope I explained your beliefs well as a neutral person who collects information of both sides but prominently pro's because of their more less threatening tones and violence towards people who dont agree or have opinions on such matters.

I hope you have a lovely day mei ♡

okay so by your explanation pro-shipping is just very inclusive and judgement-free and that's why problematic ships get lumped in there, because it's the only place they tend to not get penalized, yeah? i get it. it's really hard to be a blanket statement kinda person, you know? i have specific values and morals that conflict with taboo ships (incest, pedophilia, racist/poc, gay/homophobe, straight man/lesbian, etc) so i could never label myself pro-ship, even if the ships are fictional. there's just some lines that i myself won't cross even if it's in fiction, so i wouldn't ever be 100% pro or anti ship. obviously i ship characters but there are exceptions and i have limits so i suppose i am neither.

i hear what you're saying: of course, not every pro-shipper is into taboo stuff in fiction, nor in real life, and some antis are. but in general if more taboo behavior is centered around or publicly engaged in by members of one particular side (pedophilic shipping or incestual shipping or the like), and it's not spoken out against? that's gonna be their reputation. I know that not every proshipper is into morally wrong or illegal relationships, but there's still going to be people assuming that everyone is chill with it if no one stamps it out. pro/anti-shipper just seem like very polarized terms and i myself don't relate to either, and i'm sure many others don't either.

[penebui]

Lgbt manga pt.1

If you had to put up with my sorry ass for a few years then yes you know that I have been searching for lgbt mangas!! I put up with the pain of going through most genres that sexualize/fetishize gender identities and sexualities (like yaoi and gender bender) and reading mangas to find if they have lgbt content so you dont have to suffer the pain of trying to! Clown on this post and please face my wrath

Keep in mind that these aren’t in order of ratings!! Its just a list. I also give summaries of the plot, the things that make it lgbt, and some content warnings!! 

1. Welcome to Room #305! by Wanan 

Kim Jung Hyun moves into an apartment (room #305) with a friend of a friend, named Kim Homo! Who (you guessed it) is gay! As Jung Hyung begins to live with Kim Homo, he slowly learns to accept him for his sexuality. Once he overcomes his homophobia and completely accepts him for who he is, other lgbt characters pop in too!! They all have their struggles with their identities, and it is very realistic, but the art style helps keep all that angst at bay! As far as english translations go, we have several lesbian characters, and a trans guy. You can read the english translation on several manga sites, but if you want the link to the original since this is a webcomic, here’s the [link]! Unfortunately english updates are very slow since translation teams have other projects, and legal companies who translate take their sweet precious time. 

2. Bokura no Hentai by Fumiko Fumi

The title might seem misleading, however it can be translated as “Our Transformation”! Buckle up buttercup cause this manga will fuck you over emotionally. Three crossdressers meet up after being in a crossdressing group, with different reasons as to why they crossdress. Parou crossdresses to fall in love with a straight guy, Marika is actually a trans woman, and Yui crossdresses as his dead sister to “help” his mother with her grieving. There are some other characters who don’t fit within the gender norms! 

Now let me tell you if you are dealing with some trauma and can’t handle very sensitive topics, this manga might not be the one for you. Although it isnt just homophobia and transphobia, it also contains content of sexual harrassment, pedophilia, and suicide. However these topics are not glorified or sexualized. They are trauma of some of the characters and they must learn how to overcome from it individually. However, there is a happy ending for them!! Please let that be known! I enjoyed reading it if sobbing your heart out counts as enjoying it, because it has indeed pulled my heart strings (although I am not a trans woman, I am a trans guy and I can identify with only some of the things Marika goes through, as trans women go through different experiences than trans men and have it harder on them.) 

3. Hourou Musuko (Wandering Son) by Takako Shimura

This manga is one of the most well known mangas realistically depicting trans identity. It became popular when an anime adaptation came out! However the anime adaptation only covers the middle school part of our protagonists lives, however it encourages you to read the manga to find out what happens to them and their life! We have two protagonists. Shuichi who identifies as a girl, and Yoshino who identifies as a boy. Shuichi is the primary protagonist while Yoshino serves as a secondary protagonist. 

This manga also realistically depicts how hard it is for transfeminine people to come out and be themselves while transmasculine people seem to have it easier (dont clown on this dear fuck). We have lesbian, gay, and genderfluid characters galore! Although they do have some touchy topics like transmisogyny and transphobia in general, it is less heavier than Bokura no Hentai.  

Some people might not like the outcome of this story when it comes to Yoshino, however I am content with it because it shows that people should be able to explore their gender identity, and they are welcome to change it anytime as they see fit. Sometimes you won’t figure out your identity if you don’t explore. 

4. Shimanami Tasagore / Our Dreams at Dusk by Yuhki Kamatani

Also one of the more well known ones, the mangaka of this beautiful story is X-gender and asexual! It follows the protagonist, Tasuku is contemplating suicide as rumors circulate that he is gay at his highschool (he is). He sees a woman jumping off a building nearby and runs to her aid. Her name is Anonymous/Somebody and she sees herself is asexual but other than that she does not like labels, she invites Tasuku inside the building she just jumped off, which contains a group of exclusively lgbt characters. 

We have both trans, lesbian, and gay people. We see their struggles. We see how they overcome it. We see how even we ourselves can harm others even if we’re both lgbt. Of course there is homohpobia, transphobia, etc. however it is all handled perfectly and we get the satisfaction of these characters speaking up for either themselves or for each other. I also love Anonymous simply because she doesn’t like labels and chooses not to use them (excluding the asexual part). Not everyone whos part of the lgbt community has a label, however they are still a part of us! 

5. Fukakai na boku no subete o (Fukaboku)/ Love me for who I am by Konayama Kata

Fukaboku is a very special manga to me, as it goes in depth on gender identity and sexuality. There are two protagonists, Tetsu who is a cis guy and supposedly straight (we later find out that he is not), and Mogumo, who is both intersex and nonbinary. 

Tetsu works as a chef at Question Cafe, and everyone employed in fanlations are called girlyboys, however in the official translation they use otokonoko which is anyone crossdressing as a girl regardless of their gender. There are plenty of transwomen, gay people, etc.! Tetsu falls in love with Mogumo, so he isn’t straight, however he isn’t explicitly gay because he recognizes Mogumo as what they identify as, nonbinary. It is safe to say that he could either be pan, bi, omni, etc. however we can’t confirm since it hasn’t been explicitly stated.

We learn how transfeminine people have certain struggles, like shoes that dont fit them, breasts, and voice feminization. We also have a dose of family struggles when it comes to Mogumo in later/current chapters. 

Before you dm me, yes. Yes I know about the shit prequel. The prequel actually features a gay couple in fukaboku. I have read it. Reluctantly even if it was only 24 pages. However just because the prequel is shit does not mean we should cancel Fukaboku. There is a thing called being critical of the content you’re enjoying. If we treated it like cancel y because of x, then things like persona 4 and danganronpa would be cancelled, but lets not get into that. 

6. Kanojo ni Naritai Kimi to Boku by Umi Takase

I haven’t heard of this one as much as I have the others, so I was very much pleased when I heard about this! There are two protagonist (yes there are a lot of lgbt mangas with two protags I’ve noticed too), Hime and Akira. Hime has a crush on Akira, who identifies as a girl. However this manga is also realistic, as Akira doesn’t fully ‘pass’ as a girl herself. Hime wants to do anything she can to help Akira feel comfortable on her first day of school wearing a girl’s uniform. Because of Akira being made fun of, Hime shows up to school in Akira’s male uniform to help Akira in solidarity. 

Their teachers are fully aware of Akira’s situation, however instead of discriminating her they accept her. Their homeroom teacher helps Hime overcome her internal problem about lashing out at others who try to befriend Akira, and she slowly realizes that just because people can’t accept Akira straight away, they will slowly get used to her and come to terms with the fact that Akira is trans in their own time rather than have it being forced on them.

Hime and Akira make friends slowly and we see that even little things (like calling Akira cute and/or a girl) helps Akira, even if theyre small things we dont usually notice. Hime also struggles with her crush as she sees Akira as a girl, yet she cant accept the fact that shes attracted to girls. 

Although Akira doesnt feel the same way as Hime does, she doesnt just like her as a friend, but also not as a lover either. Its safe to say that these two have a quasiplatonic relationship with each other. 

7. Yuzu no Koto by Arai Shou

I have noticed that there are plenty of mangas with transfeminine characters as the focus, rather than transmasculine, so heres one for the transmasculines! Ichigo’s best friend Yuzu comes back to school, however he is enrolling as a boy! It is very humorous as Ichigo tries to understand and get used to her best friend’s new identity. Although it is slow as each chapter is a single page, it is hinted that Yuzu has a crush on Ichigo (or if thats just me squinting really hard). 

8. Ohana Holoholo by Torino Shino 

It is a story about two bi women who are ex-girlfriends, raising one of the women’s baby together as a little family! There is also an idol/actor who helps them out and visits them occassionally! If you want something warming and wholesome, this is the manga for you!! 

9. My Androgynous Boyfriend by Tamekou

Wako, a woman who works for a publishing company is in a relationship with an androgynous/genderless man! Her boyfriend wears dresses, makeup, and is an instagram model! It is not necessarily treated as crossdressing. It is handled pretty well, and the chemistry between Wako and her boyfriend is very strong. They both love each other so much and help each other with their hobbies and interests. This is what a loving and healthy relationship is supposed to look like!!

10. Inside Mari by Shuzo Oshimi

It is debatable if this is actually considered lgbt, considered the circumstances, however I put it on this list because it shows how mental illnesses and disorders really feel to the person whos suffering from it. Please read throughout this whole section to understand why. 

Inside Mari is about a man named Isao who stalks this young girl named Mari. He follows her back outside of a little convenience store, but when she turns back and looks at him he wakes up inside her body and doesn’t know how to cope with it. He tries to find Mari while putting on a facade and living as her. He meets a girl named Yori who instantly recognizes that Isao isn’t actually Mari from his mannerisms. This girl has had a crush on Mari, just like Isao. Isao tries to prove to Yori that he switched bodies, and when he goes to his apartment, he finds someone living as him, but it isn’t Mari.

The more we delve into this manga, the more we figure out exactly what happened to Mari and Isao. As Isao and Yori visit and retrace his steps, Isao gets flashbacks to memories of Mari. Isao soon realizes that he isn’t actually the real Isao, but a introject of Isao, and that Mari actually has DID because of childhood trauma. The ending is bittersweet, as Mari comes back but Isao unfortunately becomes dormant/disappears since I don’t think what happened was them merging. 

11.  Seibetsu  "Mona Lisa" No Kimi He by Yoshimura Tsumuji 

In the world, people can choose what gender they want to be when they’re 12. When they’re 14 their appearance corresponds to their gender. Hinase however, is 18 years old and they still haven’t chosen a gender. They prefer to be neither. However when their two best friends suddenly confess to them, their hormonal development suddenly starts to increase. 

Imagery and symbolism is very clear in this manga!! As we revolve around the color blue/cyan and the debate and interpretations of Mona Lisa’s gender. I’m very hopeful that Hinase will stay as nonbinary rather than choosing a gender, simply because both of their best friends confessed and asked them to become the opposite gender to be with them. It is very much hinted that Hinase will be in a romantic relationship with their male best friend however. I love this manga simply because the protagonist doesn’t want to identify as either male nor female. 

12. Jun And Kaoru: Pure And Fragrant by Neiki Zui

Jun and Kaoru have a special condition, by midnight they both switch genders. Because they both have this condition, they hang out with each other and help each other with clothing, etc. It should be addressed that these two do not have the “I wish to be a girl/boy” etc. The problem that they have though is their growing crush on each other. They are either genderqueer, or genderfluid, or whatever you prefer since it isn’t directly stated within the manga. They’re not cis or straight! It is a very fun and comedic love story and I wish to see further updates on it!!! 

13. Sakura-Chan to Amane-Kun by Asazuki Norito 

This story revolves around Sakura who identifies as a girl and Amane who identifies as a boy. Amane spots Sakura dressed as a girl and instantly recognizes her, however instead of belittling her he asks her out on a date, only if she goes as a girl. During school however, they have to pretend to be the gender theyre assigned with while not interacting with each other. 

Since there is a lot more but I dont want to break tumblr, I will be making a part 2 and I’ll post it tomorrow!