#its because! he was autstic and anxious! like me! and could do all these things i wanted to!!
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geee-three ยท 2 months ago
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im still not over jackpot btw
#LIKE i didnt KNOW.... I DIDNT KNOW.... then all this bs comes out and i denounced them as soon as i find out but HOLY FUCK#i looked up to them so much#especially jared. it HURTS#like its scary#thats when my mental health plummeted not when my mother got cancer not when my sister attempted sui#JACKPOT. THATS WHEN. /gen#it scares me how unfazed i am by shit then out of nowhere depressive spiral#becuase of a fucking splatoon team who turned out to be racist#what gets me the most is that. chara KNEW. chara knew and didnt say anything bc he would be accused of dogpiling#but on a personal level he /hated/ them. CHARA HATED THEM.#AND I LOOKED UP TO THEM. like yes! i was 12! BUT FUCKING HELL.#i had just worked up the courage to join a discord server for people trying to get into compt as well#it was legit my dream idk#and now??????? I CANT DO SHIT...#it still affects me idk#i wake up like ''well im basically a bigot bc i looked up to jared 2 years ago'' like#its because! he was autstic and anxious! like me! and could do all these things i wanted to!!#I USED HIS FUCKING OBOW KIT FOR SO LONG#I STILL USE HIS ENPERRIES WITH LIKE 3 SWITCHES#and yes thats bc theyre good gear builds but HOLY FUCK i cant open that menu w/o feeling guilty bc he had the idea first#im going to EXPLODe#that was the last time ic ried actually. when i found out.#like i didnt post anything about ti for a reason#idkkkk#glances at the rpf of jackpot i wrote aged 11. yeah. fuck those guys. but it HURTS HOLY SHIT#and then gem right after#then last resort breakup#like... GOOD GOLLY WHAT IN TARNATION IM DYING OVER HERE#and im still not over it sparkle sparkle#tw vent
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