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lu-is-not-ok · 1 year ago

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do you think that what EGO someone manifests is based on what caused them to reach the crossroads of Distortion and Manifestation? because distortions are pretty clearly based at least a little around that given... Phillip, but I'm not familiar enough with Xiao's story to make a conclusion about that.

Soooo I know you've only asked about like, the form a manifested E.G.O takes and what might affect it, but uh, I really want to just ramble about everything we know thus far about Distortions and Manifested/Effloresced E.G.O, so I hope you don't mind me hijacking your over a month old ask for that.

Alright? Alright. Under cut because I want to pop off. Oh, also, I'm going to spoil the fuck out of Lobotomy Corporation, Wonderlab, Library of Ruina, and Leviathan. Be warned.

Let's start from the basics. What causes one to Distort and/or Manifest E.G.O?

If you've gone through LobCorp and/or Ruina, your answer is most likely going to be the Light, the final product of Carmen and Ayin's research that was released during the White Nights and Dark Days, and which currently houses the essence of both of them. However, I don't think that's the full picture.

First of all, and probably most importantly, there have been cases of both E.G.O Manifestations and Distortions before the White Nights and Dark Days, that being Kali's E.G.O, and the Bloodfiend lineages.

Now, I have not read Distortion Detective yet, so all of my sources on this are second-hand, but from my understanding Bloodfiends are a kind of Distortion that has existed far before LobCorp took place. The process in which one joins this lineage is by "recieving blood from a certain mansion", apparently implied to belonging to an Abnormality called Nosferatu.

But wait, those who have played LobCorp might be asking, aren't Abnormalities created by L Corp? How can Abnormalities exist before the events of LobCorp?

Here, allow me to talk about Cogito.

For those who don't know, Cogito was the Singularity of L Corp. A substance that, upon being injected into a person, would materialize concepts and ideas from that person's mind into the form of Abnormalities. This process is described as using Cogito as a sort of "bucket" to draw these concepts and ideas like water from the Well of Humanity, aka the (implied to be collective) human subconscious.

While I don't recall if we're ever told what the initial source of Cogito was for Ayin and Carmen's experiments, we do know that after Carmen's "death", her disembodied nervous system became a constant source of it for L Corp.

So, this tells us something important: Abnormalities are concepts and ideas that float around in this Well of Humanity given physical form, which makes sense considering how many of them are based on things such as fairytales, folktales, legends, fears, events in the City's recent history, and other general ideas that the people living in the City may have.

However, it is important to note that not all Abnormalities come from Cogito specifically. In fact, we see an example of one such Abnormality in Chapter 19 of Leviathan. We see an Abnormality we see in LobCorp, Schadenfreude, burst out of Distorted Jumsoon when the beliefs and desires he held and which were the fuel for his Distortion were completely broken down.

Notably, there is a thematic similarity between Jumsoon's Distortion and Schadenfreude, that is being the theme of observing every moment in the world.

What we see is an Abnormality being born out of a Distortion's ego death, where the moment a Distortion loses its desires and beliefs, its identity, the wish that pushed them into Distorting in the first place is the only thing left, that physical manifestation of a concept taking place of that missing self.

Did that make any sense?

Basically what I'm saying is: an Abnormality is a concept that became the self in its entirety.

As such, anything that would be able to give a concept or idea by itself physical form or sense of self, like Cogito or the ego death of Distortion, could potentially form an Abnormality. Which, laid out like that, means it's absolutely not impossible for some proto-Abnormality to form on its own, whether due to a concept acquiring a sense of self naturally, or due to the interference of some other factor we currently might not know about.

So, now that we know what Abnormalities are about, let's go back to what we were talking about: where the pre White Nights and Dark Days Distortions and Manifested E.G.Os could have come from.

We already established that Bloodfiends join the lineage due to ingesting a substance (blood) that came directly from an Abnormality.

Now, let's talk about Kali. Luckily, we get a much clearer picture on what led her to manifest an E.G.O thanks to the story on the Red Mist Key Page. Kali was the first person to wield a prototype of an E.G.O weapon, a weapon and a byproduct that was able to be extracted from the Abnormality called Nothing There. As Kali used this weapon, the ego of the Abnormality would seem to speak to her, its words becoming clearer the longer Kali used it. It would ask if Kali wanted a shell, a form of armor to protect her flesh. Though initially ignoring it, Kali started to interpret its words with her own bias, becoming torn between how much blood she spilled, and how much of it was for protecting others. This eventually leads to her momentarily breaking down, only to steel her resolve and vow to protect Carmen at all cost, this desire of which leads to her manifesting her own E.G.O in the form of an armor, a "shell" to protect her while she protects others.

So, to summarize, Kali had direct contact with an unstable version of E.G.O gear extracted from an Abnormality. Upon being broken down by this gear, seemingly on the verge of Corrosion, Kali instead steels herself in her resolve, and her desire to protect others mixed with the influence of the E.G.O weapon allow her to manifest a shell to protect herself.

Effectively, both pre White Night and Dark Days are caused because of some sort of contact with something extracted from an Abnormality. For Bloodfiends, it was physically consuming Nosferatu's blood. For Kali, it was being in prolonged contact with an unstable Nothing There E.G.O, almost becoming Corroded, but staving it off by focusing on her own desires.

Now, some of you may be asking, why is that important? That's that and this is this, the current Distortion Phenomenon is different because the Light, right?

And here, dear reader, is where you would be wrong.

Let's recap what the Light is, shall we?

From what we know, the Light is the product of the Seed of Light. Carmen's thought process was this: to save humanity, people need to be cured of a "disease of the mind" and have light returned to their souls. The Seed of Light is meant to be the medicine to this disease, something that would draw out from the human subconscious, a formless concept taking shape and becoming a literal seed that could be planted and bloom within people's minds (...is that where the term Effloresced comes from, I wonder).

We know two things that the Seed of Light requires to be fully created: the emotional catharsis of all the Sephirah and A himself overcoming their pasts, and energy in the form of Enkephalin, which is extracted from Abnormalities. Upon being released in the form of Light shining over the City, Carmen and Ayin would enter the Light itself, their essences becoming a part of it.

Interestingly enough, one of the bad, non-canon endings to LobCorp reveals that the incomplete Seed of Light would have the effect of turning people into Abnormalities! Which, makes sense, considering the main power of this Seed is to draw out formless concepts from the human subconscious and give them shape, literally the exact process that Abnormalities are created through.

However, this isn't what I want to focus on here. I want to focus on one of the components of the Seed of Light - Enkephalin. A substance that is extracted from Abnormalities, in the same process that results in E.G.O as a byproduct.

Can you see the pattern yet? Nosferatu's blood, an unstable E.G.O weapon, a Seed of Light created using Enkephalin. All of the sources of Distortions and Manifested E.G.Os are themselves either substances extracted from Abnormalities, or something created using substances extracted from Abnormalities.

Another funny thing to consider is the alternate source of Enkephalin we learn about from Limbus Company - human nervous systems. You know what other substance was extracted from a human nervous system? That's right, Cogito.

Perhaps that's why the Seed of Light had to also include emotional catharsis as an ingredient. Perhaps Enkephalin on its own being used makes it too close to Cogito, thus resulting in the same outcome. And perhaps, it's also why the Light is able to make people give form to thoughts in their own minds on such a wide scale. But, that's just speculation on my part.

So, now that this whole preamble is out of the way and we roughly know How the Light is able to cause people to Distort and Manifest E.G.Os, let's take a bit of a closer look. After all, the Light itself wasn't enough to make everyone Distort/Effloresce all at once, perhaps because it was cut short by Angela. No, the Light in its current actual form merely allows people to Distort/Effloresce, it's not the actual trigger.

Which, begs the question: what is the trigger?

From what we see in Wonderlab, Library of Ruina, Limbus Company, and Leviathan, there are two main variables that one needs to reach the threshold of either Distorting or Efflorescing.

The first is being in a state of high emotions.

Catt learning that all of the suffering their coworkers had gone through was for nothing due to the Manager having been dead all this time. Philip being at his lowest after the people who he cared about and who tried to protect him had died. Xiao losing the man she loved and her coworkers/friends one by one. Yan being forced to face where the Prescripts truly come from, and realizing that all of his attempts at working against them were in vain. Roland finally arriving at the moment he could make Angela suffer for what her actions caused. Vergilius losing Garnet and being reminded of the reason why he cared for the orphanage in the first place. Dongbeak being reminded of why she's doing what she's doing in the face of Dongrang's mocking and the possibility of her defeat. Dongrang being reminded of the better times and being forced to face just how far he has fallen.

The second is having strong, sincere desires, and the resolve to follow them.

Catt wishing that the heart could have done something in the face of this meaninglessness. Philip initially wishing to selfishly avenge those he lost, only to then break down and wish to shut the world out at all cost. Xiao wishing to not let her loved ones' deaths be in vain, to be someone that people can rely on despite her missteps. Yan's desires becoming one with the will of the City after falling into despair. Roland's desire to make Angela truly suffer as revenge for Angelica's death. Vergilius wishing to carry his sins and the suffering he's seen with him. Dongbaek wishing to be the soil that a new world could bloom upon. Dongrang initially wishing to run away from the shadow other people's accomplishments put him under, and then deciding to instead find his own path towards reaching success.

But then comes the question, what is the difference? What decides whether someone Distorts or Manifests E.G.O? Funnily enough, Chapter 18 of Leviathan spells it out.

To Distort is to fully become one with one's desire. It's to expel everything that isn't the "self", and to paint the world with that desire as well. It's making one's desires and thoughts take form through one's body, the self becomes unified and true.

On the other hand, to Manifest E.G.O is to "show restraint", as Carmen puts it. To understand and face reality as it is, yet still let one's desires take physical form, in this case as "clothes and tools". Using those thoughts and wishes rather than becoming one with them.

And this, well, succintly explains what form a Distortion or E.G.O takes on, doesn't it? It's entirely based on what desire triggered this process, as that's the concept that is given physical form thanks to the Light.

This isn't even speculation at this point. This is actually something directly spelled out in Leviathan as well.

To quote Vergilius describing his Effloresced E.G.O:

"I wear a crown of thorns upon my head, so that I may shoulder everything until my future victory. Faded laurel leaves sprout to cover all of the thorns on my head, and tears of blood flow from my eyes so I may see all the sins I'll have to bear from now on. And the thorny path I shall travel is a curtain of blood containing my karma, a crimson cloth that covers my whole being."

...

Yeah I think this is a good point to end this post off. This already took me several hours to write, dear lord.

#ask #anon #lu speaketh #limbus company #limbus company project moon #lcb analysis #lcb speculation #lcb theory #library of ruina #lobotomy corporation #leviathan project moon #wonderlab project moon

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basedkikuenjoyer · 3 months ago

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Brick by Brick (Putting it Together)

Well, 1126 certainly ends off on a wild and very interesting note I have a lot to say about. But I don't want to bury the very interesting stuff getting there. First...hell yeah we're getting trashed on Giant absinthe! If you're unfamiliar, that is an alcohol made with a specific type of wormwood that isn't necessarily the strongest booze out there but it's unique for having hallucinogenic effects. Well, for having a reputation for that though it's exaggerated.

Still, it's important to note we're here just casually partying on the way to Elbaf given what happens next. On the way there though, we're going to continue this element of getting back to some of the side stories set up in Egghead. The lines are still very blurred in terms of whether we've finished that arc or are starting a new one. Much more than we typically see in these intermission chapters. So let's look at the two we have, remembering there are thematic ties and how they may all resonate with the title. "Payback" is an interesting term with context in this series.

Especially when we see this guy. So yeah, FWIW this chapter title is the same Kanji as the "Payback" in Payback War, where Marco led the Whitebeard Remnants in trying to get even with Blackbeard. That's not the only time we'll mention the legacy of the Whitebeard Pirates which is always something I'll take interest in when a certain one of them felt unfinished in his own arc. We still have Marco and Bakkin/Weevil's story running through Sphinx Island.

That said, the scene is interesting in its own right. BB getting onto Pizarro here is pretty funny. Lafitte keeping an eye on the Revolutionaries current siege on the Red Line is intriguing, but the big thing to me is the prisoner swap. Perona & Moria got away but they captured Garp and we see Pudding here too. Blackbeard always has that way of mirroring Luffy. If nothing else, they've both "captured" a big shot to the World Government here with Lilith/Garp. Moria slipping away with important secrets though could mirror Caribou doing the same to Luffy and of course Pudding is interesting as well. But this isn't the only side story we get an update on.

Hell yeah Barto, and fuck you Shanks for blowing up the Going Luffy-Senpai. I wanna get to the fireworks factory though so we'll keep this quick. There's two elements. One, this works nicely with other scenes showing the Grand Fleet getting up to trouble since Dressrosa. That plus Shanks hammering home the idea he has to respond to save face. Explaining why it matters. Shouldn't be anything new to you if you've been reading along with me for a while, but for a refresher I do still feel this is something Luffy was starting to get in Wano. Key word being starting.

It's something he was showing he was learning with how Kiku in Bakura Town builds off Katakuri/Future Sight and flows into Hyogoro in Udon. Then it starts to break away from that first with Yamato forcing his way in, then Gear Five, then seems completely forgotten come Egghead. Which starts with aggressive reminders none of this nonsense had anything to do with you and ends on the complementary note of losing control of how the story gets told. But...we all know we're here to talk about one event this chapter.

Huh? The Sunny mysteriously disappears and we see Nami being woken up by someone in...a Lego house? I wanna do bullet points and kinda quickly address all the stuff we see flying around because this is both absolutely bonkers but also not too far off from some of the things I thought could happen with how we've had weird elements of how Wano/Egghead were written:

First off who. Who was split off into this odd area. It was the original six and the more recent four crew mates this time. Interesting. A lot of people jump to Vivi right away. It's equally true that these are the crewmates who met Ace and also that we got the younger ones apart from their elders.

A lot of people have jumped right to thinking this is Elbaf and Loki has Nami in something like a dollhouse. Lego do come from a "Viking" country and that'd explain the outfit...but we've never seen anything like this aesthetic.

Real absinthe may not be super hallucinogenic...but it has a real reputation for that. One the Giants invoked. That could be a part of things.

Stussy isn't out of the question though. Especially when we get a little reminder of the brokers via Umit coming up earlier.

If there's any known Devil Fruit power this may fit with it'd be Sugar's. Which is a stretch. But this vibe could be a bridge to thematically tying Elbaf & Whole Cake.

This could be a ship, that was the first thing I thought seeing the actual panel. So the "Man Marked by Flames" and his ability to cause whirlpools isn't a bad idea.

OG Kuma is there, he coulda shoved the Sunny away. Doubtful but a possibility.

Hopefully next chapter gives us more to go on. But for now if we want to ponder things keep the facts we can glean in mind. It had to be something sudden that could happen without the other ship noticing. Whoever is calling out has to be someone who'd know Nami. We don't know which side we'll focus on for resolving this. By the same token you could say this is the gang that knows Vivi so she has to show up...it's really just split based on time. We could just as easily focus more on giving the latecomers a chance to shine figuring this one out. Or they could go on to Elbaf and set it up like Zou so we don't really need to fabricate a conflict for that arc when we finally get there.

Whichever way it goes...this is exactly the type of shit I wanted to see and I cannot wait to see how it unfolds...

...

Have you stuck with me this long? Humor me, it's my birthday weekend. Probably the last time I get to say this...but what a swan song. There's a bullet points I left off, but it'd check all the boxes right? Someone unassuming has been on the ship and thus gets snagged away with the early comers. There you go, friendly face that isn't drunk and has had time to get a handle on the situation. And still a reason to keep them obscured. Blends well with this Blackbeard/Shanks stuff, Yamato's entry in the cover saga, and still leaves Drake for the actual reveal.

#one piece #chapter 1126 #nami #Blackbeard #shanks #Bartolomeo #post-wano musings

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duskwingmoth · 2 years ago

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"Your choices don't matter."

This is and will continue to be the most-misunderstood line in the game. Even now in June 2023 with ample evidence, many players seem to believe that Deltarune is a game that disregards player agency and their decisions, despite the Player still being the single most powerful entity in its universe.

The confusion is understandable, as I do believe it's an intentional red herring, and certainly with regards to the outcome of Chapter 1's events it holds largely true. Nonetheless, people seem to overlook the fact that Ralsei, mere minutes later, has this to say:

"I believe your choices are important, too!"

The importance and implication of both lines together goes overlooked, likely because the latter doesn't happen with nearly as much fanfare as Susie's explosive introduction. But the parallel framing gives the game away, as does the dichotomy in Susie and Ralsei's reaction to your role as the "leader" of the Lancer Fan Club.

What Deltarune is telling you with these lines is that whatever Chapters 3 through 7 hold, a defining aspect of the RPG formula is going to be heavily scrutinized and deconstructed, just like player/game morality, repeat playthroughs, and player character agency were in Undertale.

In RPGs, be they western or eastern in origin and influence, a largely unchallenged assumption is baked into their design. You, the Player, will be the final word on any decision that the Party makes, whether it be a party of one or 100 characters. What Kain, Rosa, Rydia, Edge, and every other party member in Final Fantasy IV want out of their lives is irrelevant, and their thoughts and feelings on the next course of action even moreso; they all default to Cecil's decisions, and Cecil can do nothing without you. Therefore, Cecil is entrusting the events of the game to the player that controls him in the overworld and in the battle scene. They will all be in your final party lineup, whether they like it or not.

Later versions of Final Fantasy IV will take this even further, allowing you to subvert the exit of other party members from your control once the finale is ready to commence. Cid, Yang, Palom & Porom, and Edward no longer have the security of irrelevance to convalesce, heal from their wounds and sacrifices and traumas. If you want them to be part of your lunar expedition, you need only speak to them at the Tower of Prayer, and they will hop into Cecil's pocket while another party member (of your choice) is left behind.

Their choices don't matter. Yours do.

As far as we've seen in Chapter 1 and 2, Deltarune is absolutely holding NES and SNES Final Fantasy up as a strong influence, especially IV, with party members entering and leaving your command as the plot and their agency within demands. This makes for interesting gameplay changes and challenges, certainly. What the game is doing with it thematically, however, seems to be going thus far largely unexamined. Final Fantasy IV, after all, was something of a subversive JRPG experience for its time as well, and if there's one thing that's very clear about Undertale and especially Deltarune, it's how much it wants to subvert player expectations, thwarting the flowchart mindset with which a game-savvy person is conditioned to approach video games of similar trappings.

Through the majority of Chapter 1, Susie is completely impossible to control, command, or influence in any direct way. She has absolutely no regard for what Kris and Ralsei think of her actions, ignoring the rules set out by Ralsei and the game's mechanics, and you are expected to merely play around it. When she rejoins and when you do finally gain the ability to command her in battle, it is only because of forces utterly beyond your direct control, and even then, only because Susie made the active decision to submit to your will for the time-being.

Even still, she reserves the right to comply maliciously or revoke her trust in Kris (and your) decisions.

Not only that, but her actual ability to follow certain orders is immediately called into question.

"Your choices don't matter" to Susie. Only Susie's choices matter to Susie. She is the party member who rebels against your controlling influence as the player on the basis of her own whims, taking actions unprompted and departing entirely when being with Kris is inconvenient to her impulses and desires. You, and the game, have no control over Susie thus far.

Compare and contrast with Ralsei, the goodest goody-two-shoes floof you ever did see, obediently and staunchly obeying the laws of the game and its universe. Despite ostensibly being a ruling power within the confines of Castle Town, he immediately, happily, and without argument submits fully to the Player's will, whether you wanted to have that much control over him or not. What he may want, what he may think, what he may feel, he considers secondary to what Kris wants. As we have seen, that too is equally meaningless in the face of what the Player wants.

Even when the laws of physics, relativity, and the very rules Ralsei himself establishes dictate that he cannot be in the Computer Lab with you as far as we are currently aware, Ralsei goes out of his way to return to Kris' side, and take orders from them once again. He does not argue when you deliberately flout his advice and are just as violent as Susie in Chapter 1, and he does not make any attempts to actively rejoin with you when Susie drags him offscreen to parts of Cyber City unknown in Chapter 2. Even when violating the set rules of the game is the consequence, he will follow yours and Susie's directions.

Whatever the mysterious forces may be that compel Ralsei to be so rigidly obedient that he will diminish his contributions when you purposefully belittle them, the demonstrable fact is that, in effect, you own him. You are everything he is, and his everything is yours. Will this be reified within the plain text of the game? Who knows. It would certainly be fitting if it was. Though whether that makes for a stronger story remains the opinion of the development team, and they are 100% willing to play with your expectations.

Like, for example, the prevailing understanding coming out of Chapter 1 that "your choices don't matter" was the be-all, end-all statement Deltarune had to make, something that somehow persists beyond Chapter 2's release and collective analysis, and, more specifically paradoxically, in light of the revelation that is Noelle Holiday.

Much of Noelle's life beyond what you can observe as her classmate is left ambiguous. In part to maintain some fun textual mystery for later, but more so that you have a blank slate upon which to work as the unchallenged master of Deltarune's entire universe. A master that likely has experienced Undertale in some form or fashion and is well aware of its conceits and statements, thus likely looking for more explicit, gameplay-defined dichotomies. Think of Susie as Deltarune's thesis, Ralsei as its antithesis, and Noelle as a synthesis of the two opposing ideas. Or, more simply, a question posed to the player:

"What happens when we give you the power to subvert someone's will without their knowing consent?"

In relation to Queen, Noelle is to her as Susie is to you. She does not want to obey her commands or be in her presence because her own desires are not in alignment with Queen's. The thing about Noelle, is that she is far less rebellious, and escapes Queen's control via simple avoidance, instead entrusting you with her agency based on prior familiarity with Kris and the fallacious assumption of shared goals.

Your relative anonymity, and the ambiguity of your desires as a Player are what leave Noelle susceptible to your influence. And you, the Player, may well not be someone who should be trusted with that kind of power.

Thus, Snowgrave.

In a deliberate echo of Undertale's deconstruction of multiple playthroughs and game morality, you can, if you want, turn Noelle into a murderer, a thing she would never become on her own, and thus demonstrate that the rigid rules of Deltarune and what you previously believed it had to say fall limply before your power like wet paper. In the process, you also subvert the supposed control Queen has as the chapter's antagonist, and make an example out of the one character who actively and completely refuses to submit to your will, rendering them both completely obsolete.

In the end, you have final authority on whether Noelle Holiday the character is a person with agency in her own story, worthy of her own backstory and motives, or a set of actions with no capacity to argue with anybody, only perceiving the world through the lens of violence, as most RPG party members are. And it should be stressed; you never have to go through the motions of Snowgrave yourself to "see what happens"; the internet already has your answer. You choose to do this to Noelle and the characters, because you want to do it.

There's a lot to appreciate about Deltarune and its dedication to being a richer experience in every way, but most fascinating are the questions Noelle poses. "How ethical is it, really, that you have the power to veto everything about a character and what they want? Are you okay with this arrangement? Do these cute little pixels mean anything to you beyond what they can do for you?" For the fact that it explores this so thoroughly in under two hours, and for the implication that there's even more musings just like it in the future. I don't know if there's a game that has really interrogated the concept of party members like this, because I've certainly never heard of it. Compared to the well-trodden ground in Undertale's core statement, this is a mental exercise the general audience isn't primed for, possibly one that a lot of game developers haven't entertained either. Certainly not with this large a crowd watching with bated breath.

I'm not a Deltarune theorist by trade, but this is my one that I will openly put forward: Deltarune is not done making you feel uncomfortable with the monopoly you hold over these characters in this way. This is what sets it apart and elevates it to one of the greats in the medium, mark my words. Your choices do matter, and they matter very much.

#deltarune #deltarune thoughts #deltarune theory #chapter 2 spoilers #plenty has been said about kris and their open rejection of your control and likely there's so much more #but i do feel like they are overly centered in the discussion at the moment given the lack of recognition of deltarune's themes so far #long post #i wrote this like half a year ago with the intention of drawing stuff to go with it but at this point i should just set it loose as is

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nostalgebraist · 1 year ago

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comments on almost nowhere for new readers

A few points that may be useful to people who didn't read Almost Nowhere before it was complete, but who are planning to read it now. (AKA "archival readers," as opposed to "serial readers.")

(1)

You'll want to read it fast enough that you don't lose track of the plot.

But, you probably shouldn't read it as quickly as you can. If you "binge-read" it over a very short span of time, some of the effect will be dulled or lost.

When planning out the story, I thought a lot about the reader's evolving state of knowledge. "What the reader knows" was almost like a character unto itself, and an important one.

For example:

I tried to create a enjoyable, continual "rotation" of mysteries, with new questions arising at the same time that old questions get answered, repeatedly across the course of the book.

In between the point when a question is raised and the point when it finally gets a definitive answer, I often tried to create a succession of interesting intermediate states. For example, the reader might first encounter something important in the form of an enigmatic, unexplained name or phrase, mentioned incidentally. Later, the same term starts appearing more often, and gets more coloration, and this coloration is different each time, so that the sum total of "what the reader knows" traces out a series of different "shapes" over time.

So you'll have the most fun if you stop regularly to savor your current state of knowledge. The questions that haven't been answered yet, the partial glimpses you've seen of things you don't fully get. Maybe even go back and re-read earlier bits, if you like.

(1b)

All that said, I also want to caution against viewing the book as a puzzle you're meant to be able to solve on your own, like a "fair-play whodunit."

I intended it to be fun for the reader to wonder about how the questions will be answered, but there's no pretense of playing fair. And that "fun" is often more aesthetic and thematic than it is intellectual.

(2)

Almost Nowhere is divided into 3 parts.

You can see them if you look at the table of contents. In Part 1, the chapter titles are Roman numerals. In Part 2, chapters have verbal titles, together with Arabic numerals that start over from zero. In Part 3, the Roman numerals resume again.

The three parts tell a single continuous story, and share most of the same major characters. But each one is somewhat distinct in its style, tone, themes, and areas of focus, and each one extends the scope of the plot considerably.

Maybe the closest comparison-point is a trilogy of SF/F novels, where each of the sequels is clearly "its own book" that feels distinct from the other two books, while still continuing the story in a coherent way.

I mention this here in the hope that these transitions will be less jarring if you're prepared in advance for them.

(2b)

In another, more "spiritual" sense, Almost Nowhere really has just two parts.

The transition happens at Chapter 13, which could fairly be grouped either into the first or the second part, or both, or neither.

Why? Up through Chapter 12, my planning for future events had been fairly slapdash and vague. I was still in the "throw stuff at the wall so I can create the real story by looking for patterns in it later" stage of my unusual creative process.

After Chapter 12, I thought "okay, that's enough of that. Vague inklings of the future aren't sufficient anymore. It's time to get start being more serious about my planning. It's time to 'create the real story.'"

So I did a bunch of that, and it profoundly shaped everything from Chapter 13 onward. (I don't know how obvious this transition would be if you didn't know about it beforehand; to me it feels very obvious, but maybe deceptively so.)

It goes deeper than that. Chapter 13 is tonally different than any of the preceding ones -- darker, more personal, with a new focus on obsession, bittersweet reflection on the past, regret, resignation. And, semi-accidentally, that ended up setting the tone for the whole rest of the book.

It's not all like that afterwards, to the same extent. But that stuff is always there, at least in the background.

I don't know if this is actually useful to know or not, but I felt like mentioning it, so there it is.

(3)

Like Floornight and TNC before it, Almost Nowhere is a hybrid.

It combines elements from a number of different genres and story types that would not normally be seen alongside one another. At the same time, it doesn't really belong to any of the genres or story types that it draws from.

This aspect of my fiction tends to elicit bimodal responses. When I mix one type of story with another, it tends to come off either as the best-of-both-worlds or the worst-of-both-worlds, depending on the reader.

Some people see five individually good "normal" books, merged into one and singing in harmony. And people see five half-assed attempts to do five different things, without following through on the promises of any one of them.

For example, I noted above that I put a lot of care into setting up mysteries, and I expected the reader to be very aware of them. And I also noted that the story isn't very rewarding if treated like a puzzle that can be "solved" in advance.

But some people are going to see the mysteries, and the care put into them, and think, "ah, I know (and enjoy) this genre, this is a puzzle you're supposed to work out in advance." And these people aren't wrong; it does kind of look like that, especially at the beginning.

Likewise, Almost Nowhere has several chapters that explain math and physics concepts to the characters and to the reader -- either real ones, or fictitious ones that have some pretense of continuity with real math and physics. Sometimes these get very involved, in the manner of Stephenson or Egan.

A reader who sees this stuff, and thinks "ah, I know (and enjoy) this genre," is likely to be disappointed when they discover that the story is not really about math or physics in any deep way. Certainly not about real math or physics. The invented "physics" is closer to the core of it, but less so than some other things -- and anyway, there is more of pure fantasy to it than serious scientific extrapolation.

Like Floornight, AN is arguably "best" described as a fantasy story, and not the GoT kind of fantasy -- the highly aestheticized, thematic, emotional kind of fantasy, where "feels" and "vibes" are almost literally magic and drive everything from the inside out.

But if you read it for that genre, specifically, it may feel odd that it keeps lapsing into long descriptions of nuts-and-bolts plot mechanics, and into laborious explanations of made-up technobabble. Or into setting up "puzzles" that almost feel solvable-in-advance.

Or just, like, being written in this really weird, particular, often opaque style.

I can't just say "leave all your genre preconceptions at the door," as if it were that simple -- as though one could just do that by force of will. But be aware that the elements you recognize, from other fiction, may not be there for the usual reasons.

But they are there for a reason.

When I think about why I write, I often come back to an answer that Andrew Hussie gave on Formspring long ago:

Q: Do you enjoy your own work? I mean if Homestuck was made by someone else and not you, is it the kind of thing you would like reading [...]? A: I am making the kind of thing I would want to read. I am making the kind of thing I wish existed, but doesn't. Yet.

I am doing that, too. I'm taking elements from all over, and building something else out of them. It looks deceptively like the sources it draws from, but it's very different from any of them, underneath.

If it had already existed, it would not have been necessary for me to invent it.

(4)

As I mentioned in the last bullet point, Almost Nowhere is written in a very particular style.

This style gets better-defined over time, and more ossified, and possibly more extreme. (Chapter 13 played the same role in this process as it did in various others, for instance.)

At various times, I've said that Almost Nowhere is my favorite of my stories, or the most ambitious or accomplished one, or the one I like most on re-reading. And that is all true -- in certain senses, anyway.

But I don't want to convey the impression that I think the "Almost Nowhere house style" is like, the epitome of Good Writing or something. Or even that it's my best writing, necessarily. It simply is what it is, as much for consistency's sake as anything else.

(I confess there were times when I looked back on something I'd just wrote, and thought to myself: "I'm not actually sure this is, like, good. Maybe it isn't. But is is definitely Almost-Nowherey, that's for sure." And then I let it stand, for that reason.)

In the best-case scenario, you'll find that you greatly enjoy the "Almost Nowhere house style." If it's not to your taste, hopefully you will find it at least tolerable enough that you can access and enjoy other aspects of the book.

But if you find that really dislike the style, this book is probably not for you, sorry.

It's over 300,000 words, and they're all like that. I wouldn't want someone to force themselves through 300k words while hating every one of them, in the name of finding out what happens, or being a nostalgebraist completionist, or whatever.

#almost nowhere

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magnorious · 1 year ago

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Review: I Plunge to My Death; Percy Jackson Ep. 4

TL;DR: They turned a pit-stop into a main event and troubles ensued.

The consequences of shoving half the book into the first two episodes? Episode 4. Baby Percy is, again, adorable, no complaints. The opening scene, Kronos’ slithery voice – we are right back in the thick of it, until we’re not. Best part of the episode is easily the first 4 minutes and it does not recover, I am sorry.

Echidna gets a ridiculous amount of screen time, monologuing on and on and on… On the train, no less, not in the Arch.

Adaptations are allowed to be their own thing, but they are *adaptations* first. The choices that were made in the source material were made for a reason. If the book was bad, no one would have read it, and money wouldn’t be spent turning it into a TV show.

So, in the book, Echidna had a couple pages, and Percy was completely alone confronting her. She showed up, revealed herself, got a one-liner or two in, kicked his butt, and then he fell – end of scene. It was a whirlwind of chaos and incredibly efficient without being spoonfed “I am a monster” until they get the picture.

The purpose of this beat in the story came from Percy’s experience in the river and then St. Louis is behind them – it’s a pitstop, not a centerpiece. Echidna has no thematic connection to any of the characters like Medusa, she doesn’t need to overstay her welcome.

If you didn’t read the book, the episode is fine. The writing is okay, the acting, the VFX. They do retain the family of centaurs and establish Grover being a Searcher for Pan.

It’s not bad! It’s puzzling. The changes are puzzling.

All the filler – Echidna’s monologue, Athena’s temple, Annabeth being unnecessarily rude to Grover, Percy getting poisoned – they don’t feel like the same meaningful changes that were made to extend Medusa’s scenes. They feel like they exist to fill an entire episode before the next big set piece that has to wait until episode 5. The pacing has been thrown completely off balance.

Which wouldn’t have happened if they didn’t rush ten chapters of content.

Because they knew exactly how long the chimera fight would be – about 45 seconds, beat for beat, exactly as it was written. Echidna is just not important in the grand scheme of the story. They still have to fill an entire episode now, so what do they do?

They double back on the character development and the growing friendship established in episode 3 when they all start arguing over Athena for… reasons? In Athena’s temple, Annabeth’s suggestion for Percy to reach out to his dad there would be mighty offensive to the goddess. She calls herself out, saying she knows she’s forcing herself to believe Athena cares about her, the way it was written just makes her look selfish and rude.

There Grover is, all upset about the monument filled with paintings of humans over-hunting buffalo and Annabeth’s response is basically “get over it”. Doesn’t matter if she regrets it once he’s gone, she doesn’t apologize to him and she still believes what she said.

Percy doesn’t need to be poisoned to lose hard to Echidna and the chimera. He’s at his full strength and still panics and botches the fight. He already doubts that his dad cares about him.

The episode does recover its footing somewhat (after padding the runtime) by finally getting him alone in the last 8 minutes. Percy cements his disdain for his dad and how little he feels appreciated, respected, or even noticed by the gods – enough to decide he’ll fight and probably lose alone because he doesn’t matter to the gods anyway. Once he’s in the river, the nereid shows up, tells him to breathe, that Poseidon’s proud, and… cut to black. There's no wonder at his new abilities, no fascination, no "maybe being a demigod is a little bit cool, wow," and no consideration that his dad does care, even a little bit.

The only book change for the better? Percy choosing to go at it alone instead of ending up alone by accident.

I hate to come down so hard on this episode but pacing is critical. The beginning of the book feels slow because there’s a lot of internal monologue, a lot of introspection, lots of breaks between action, and several time skips – Percy spends a couple days at camp before going on his quest and packs a lot of character building moments into it – and they rushed through it all.

St. Louis was already rushed in the book, and this is where they decided to throw in all the filler to slow it down? Writers, if you wanted to pad the runtime, include Gladiola the Poodle giving them directions. Include chapter 14 – the entirety of which is spent in the river establishing new powers and getting told about the gift in Santa Monica, and exacerbating the problem of Percy being mistaken for a terrorist. Ares can still wait and no one would complain.

It’s not the acting, from anyone. It’s not the directing, either. Everyone who worked on this show: The actors, the editors, the set designers, costume department, makeup department, VFX, foley, props, music and sound design, and everyone in between – you all did fantastic and your work is recognized and appreciated.

It’s the big picture that just did not come together this time.

I really, truly, wanted to enjoy this episode coming off the high that was Episode 3 and I’m just left confused once again at all the choices that were made. Just because the bar for greatness was two feet into the topsoil from the first adaptation doesn’t mean it gets to skate by on “well it’s better than what we got before”.

#pjo series #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #review

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ndrayton · 2 years ago

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Ghost Stories Postmortem!!!

It’s me, FieryGaze!!! Now that Chapter 13 is out and posted and my brain has freed up about 75% of its RAM, I wanted to make a post just to reflect on the journey, drop some fun facts, & explain the intent behind some of my choices. Here they are in no particular order.

Spoilers beware, obviously. I'm going to be talking about the whole fic here.

Episode Titles

Each episode title refers to two things at once – the monster or challenge the group is facing, plus one other important thematic element. “The Demon King” is the simplest one, referring both to the actual Demon King and then to Kim Dokja gaining that power for himself. The others are a little more open to interpretation, but were chosen with the intention of referring to 2 specific things.

Constant reappearance of the number “Thirteen”?

I’d like to say there was a lot of thought behind this, but there wasn’t. I just went “ooo, unlucky number” and ended up repeating it as often as possible. 13 years since KDJ and HSY met; 13 years spent in the spirit world chasing the Endless Cycle; 13 loops before KDJ met YJH. It was a lucky coincidence that the chapter count also happened to be 13 (I’d initially planned for twelve, and everything that happened in Unseen World was supposed to be squished into the end of Infinite Loop Part II. When I realized that was absolutely NOT going to give me enough space to resolve everything, I was delighted to realize that I could make the chapter count 13 and have it be thematically relevant and Not just a case of poor planning).

Lee Seolhwa also states that the number 7 is significant for certain spirits. I just think it’s fun that the total chapter count ended up as 13 and the total Episode count as 7.

Perspective and Tense Changes

From the beginning, the use of first person was actually a bit of a false flag—it’s meant to represent the ghost of Kim Dokja, trapped in the loop, imagining himself as the living version of himself going on these adventures. Kim Dokja as the narrator states this outright.

It was about time I stopped pretending that “I” was really this person called Kim Dokja. (Ch. 11)

Maybe I pretended for a while, for a long while, that it was really “me” who was fighting at your side. (Ch. 13)

The first person narration also tends to flip between present and past tense, especially in later chapters when Ghost!KDJ begins using second person to refer to Han Sooyoung and Yoo Joonghyuk, but also when he’s making general observations about the world. It’s not technically grammatically correct, but I was trying to grant a small step of separation between him and the other characters, whose perspectives are written more strictly in third person past tense.

The final monologue is also in present tense, unmooring it from the sequence of events of the story, hopefully making it feel a little more dreamlike/internal. I feel like I’m allowed to mess with tenses this much only because it’s an orv fic and I’m not afraid to get meta.

I also used present tense during almost all of chapter 10. I wanted it to feel like a whole separate fic-within-a-fic, and a lot of fanfic is written in present tense, so I was deliberately evoking that (including See You Yesterday, undeniably a MAJOR inspiration for this chapter). I also wanted to provide a sense of immediacy—Yoo Joonghyuk truly believes that what he’s experiencing in the dream is really happening to him, right now—that I could pull back on once he realized he was dreaming, returning to past tense and the main flow of the larger story.

As a side note, by the time I finally finished chipping away at chapter 10 I thought it was awful, so I was surprised and delighted when it became everyone’s favourite chapter, lmao. This is probably why people have beta readers, to get a little bit out of their own heads. Anyway, the positive response to that chapter really brightened my week.

… My favourite scenes 😊

The first scene I really had a blast with was probably the possession scene—what can I say, you don’t make a “Paranormal investigation AU” without wanting to play with a few of its standard tropes. That’s when I realized I could happily keep writing this fic for as long as it took to finish it (I initially planned for 2 months. It became 4.)

I also had such a fun time writing all of “Blank Message”, from the kids bullying poor Dokja to what amounts to me basically just drawing hearts around Yoo Joonghyuk’s name as he fails to use technology but also gets to be the most specialest boy in the world. That episode practically wrote itself, honestly. I accidentally wrote like 12,000 words of it in my phone notes app because I kept having ideas at work and had little else to do during our slow season.

My actual favourite scene, though, might be Yoo Joonghyuk cooking in Han Sooyoung’s kitchen in Ch. 12? I just thought it was sweet. Maneuvering those two into a position where they could be emotionally vulnerable with each other was a challenge. My notes for that section are funny to me, I’m just struggling to get to the heart of the scene and yelling at them to please be emotionally vulnerable.

... There was like 500 more words of this.

I can’t help but feel the yoohan corner of yoohankim got a little neglected in this fic, but it’s because they had so many unresolved issues that I couldn’t just leap ahead to the romance angle without first addressing them… and by then the fic was kinda over. Please understand, however, that they love and understand each other deeply despite (because of??) being the way they are. Maybe I’ll explore that more in future stories. Who could say.

Most challenging part to write?

Wrong Room Part II, Forgotten Boy Part II, and the first bit of Devourer of Dreams Part II before Kim Dokja showed up (it was way easier to write once he was there because the joongdok dynamic really pulled the plot along).

All three of these had significant rewrites and Forgotten Boy Part II took me like… an entire week to figure out. The Part II’s tended to be tricky because that’s when I was making all the setup from Part I pay off, but I wanted it to be engaging and exciting and not feel too paint-by-numbers. I learned a lot writing these!

What was Yoo Joonghyuk saying at the end of Blank Message that got censored?

“▪▪ ▪▪▪ ▪▪▪▪▪▪ ▪▪▪ ▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪ ▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪ ▪▪ ▪▪▪▪▪”

“Do you really not remember…”

Well, maybe you can intuit the rest from context clues (what Mia was saying just beforehand).

There was a bunch of other censoring when Kim Dokja was trying to explain to Yoo Joonghyuk where all his special knowledge of the time loop came from, but I didn’t actually note it down as it was all pretty much able to be inferred, like “the loop is actually based on a book series”.

There’s certainly more to find, but that’s all I have to say for now!

I fun with foreshadowing, but I’m not going to call out anything specific, because I think it adds to reread value. There’s an especially mean bit of “foreshadowing” in one part that had me absolutely cackling. Let me know if you find it.

Anyway!

I had no plans to put so much time and effort into writing fanfic this year, and yet here I am with 120,000 words in four months, which is… FAR AND ABOVE my normal writing pace, especially lately. What can I say? Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint is a really special story and I don’t have any friends who have read it, which put my brain into an absolute pressure-cooker for which the only release could be writing orv a novel-length love letter.

I’m seriously thankful for everyone who read the story and left so many emphatic, excited, and kind comments. The readers absolutely transformed this experience from something I was plodding away at by myself just to see if I could do it into something I was really excited to share with others, and as a result I put a lot more effort and care into the story.

I do have a few other ideas for this AU—for which the seeds are actually already planted in the story—but, as I mentioned in my author’s note, I desperately need to take a fanfic break for a while. I can’t promise if/when I’ll get back to it, but I would definitely like to at some point.

IN ANY CASE, FOR THE LAST TIME ON THIS ADVENTURE….

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#Ghost Stories AU #orv fic #Fire's rambling

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red-dipped-feathers · 1 year ago

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Moon of the Crusted Snow

(picture taken by me)

I am starting off the year with this amazing book written by an indigenous author. Not gonna lie, what attracted me to this book was the beautiful book cover and title with its wintery desolated landscape and mysterious name. Usually, the apocalypse or post-apocalypse genre isn’t something I would read but I was very interested in seeing this genre being explored from an indigenous perspective and boy was I not disappointed! This book was captivating from start to end and it’s definitely going in my recommendations. So here is my review of it. Hope you like it and that I convince you to give this book a shot 😊

Title: Moon of The Crusted Snow

Author: Waubgeshig Rice

Genre: Novel, Apocalypse, post-apocalypse

Publication Date: 2 Octobre 2018

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Introduction:

In Waubgeshig Rice's "Moon of the Crusted Snow," the tranquil existence of a remote Anishinaabe community in Northern Ontario is shattered by an unexplained societal collapse. As winter blankets the land, the novel explores the community's struggle for survival amid diminishing resources and isolation. Rice skillfully blends traditional Anishinaabe storytelling with a stark portrayal of the post-apocalyptic landscape, offering a poignant reflection on culture, community, and the resilience of the human spirit against an unforgiving backdrop of crusted snow and encroaching darkness.

Plot:

The overarching plot of the narrative proves to be a compelling and intriguing aspect of "Moon of the Crusted Snow." Waubgeshig Rice skillfully introduces a palpable sense of anxiety that permeates the characters' experiences as they grapple with the impending end of the world, all while remaining oblivious to its occurrence. Although the story begins at a deliberate pace, it progressively gains momentum, ensuring a smooth and well-paced development without feeling rushed.

What sets Rice's storytelling apart is his ability to sustain a high level of suspense throughout, even when readers are privy to the impending apocalypse. The narrative skillfully keeps readers on the edge of their seats, evoking a genuine sense of unease for the characters and their uncertain fate. Remarkably, despite the limited action, the storyline remains engaging, avoiding any dull or stagnant moments. The brevity of the chapters contributes to the overall dynamism, allowing the narrative to maintain its momentum and ensuring that the reader remains captivated by the unfolding events.

Plot rating : 4/5

Characters:

The narrative predominantly unfolds through the lens of the central character, Evan, serving as the focal point through which the actions of the other characters come into view. While it's worth noting that the book doesn't delve into extensive character development, I find it to be fitting for the genre. In the context of this apocalyptic tale, the emphasis on character evolution might be secondary.

Evan, as the protagonist, provides readers with a vivid portrayal of life in a secluded community during the apocalypse. The narrative encapsulates the prevalent mistrust and paranoia that takes root within the community, creating a palpable atmosphere of impending doom. This thematic focus, coupled with Evan's perspective, adds a layer of intensity to the storyline, making it a captivating read.

Notably, the narrative occasionally shifts its lens to Nicole, Evan's wife, offering a valuable alternative perspective. This additional point of view provides a nuanced exploration of the unfolding events, enriching the reader's understanding of the characters and the dire situation they find themselves in.

Character rating : 3.25/5

Themes and Messages:

"Moon of the Crusted Snow" by Waubgeshig Rice delves into the themes of survival, resilience, and cultural identity within an Anishinaabe community facing an apocalyptic scenario. The narrative underscores the importance of preserving traditional knowledge, emphasizes community bonds, and explores the fear of the unknown. The novel subtly addresses the impact of modernity on indigenous communities and reflects on power dynamics within the community during times of crisis. Against a backdrop of a harsh winter landscape, the story intertwines environmental resonance with human experiences, prompting reflection on the interconnectedness between nature and humanity. Overall, Rice weaves a compelling narrative that goes beyond the typical post-apocalyptic tale, inviting readers to ponder cultural preservation, collective strength, and the profound effects of societal collapse on a community deeply rooted in its traditions.

Theme rating : 5/5

Strengths:

Brings a different perspective to the end of the world

Well written story line

High level of suspense, you can feel your anxiety building with each chapter

Weaknesses:

Does start off at a slow pace

Not a lot of action (personally, I don’t feel it was needed for this story but I know some of you might find the story a bit lacking or even boring)

So here you go, the first review of the year and the first review on this blog! let me know if you liked it and if it made you want to read the book.

Also, if you already read this book let me know if you enjoyed it and if you agree or disagree with my review 😊

See you next time !

Red dipped feathers

P.S. I’m def going to read the second book to this story called “Moon of the Turning Leaves”, so make sure to stick around for that review!

#book review #indigenous #indigenous authors #apocalypse #post apocalypse #novel #book #reading #bookish #bookworm #bookblr #reading community #cozy reads

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no-where-new-hero · 1 year ago

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Fire and Hemlock Readalong: Chapter 0

I’m starting this a day early because I realized that I had so much to say about the front matter that I didn't want to clog my discussion of Chapter 1. So here’s a little teaser to whet your appetite for tomorrow!

I always love entering this book because, much like entering a fairy tale or a ballad, it offers many introductory signs along the way to alert you to the textual milieu. The first is the part name: New Hero. If your edition has a table of contents, as mine does, you see that each of the four parts are anagrams of the same letters. Of course, this will become thematically important (as every other paratextual guide in the book is) but for now, we know that this part will introduce us to a new hero: Polly Whittacker. It also signals not only a protagonist, but heroism as a theme: though the novel's setting is grounded in 1980s England with only a few overtly magical moments, the events are filtered just as much through the heroic mode of adventure stories, fairy tales, and myths.

The second signpost is “allegro vivace”: I actually never looked up the translations/definitions of the musical notations in the book before, so I figured now was a good time. This one means "fast and lively," instructing a brisk pace of energy and dynamism, which sets up the vitality of Polly's youth and its concerns. The musical direction signals a tone for the initiated, and to those who aren’t, it establishes music as another major theme, alongside literature and stories.

Finally, we have the epigraph at the start of the chapter ("A dead sleep came over me / and from my horse I fell") taken from the 17th-18th century Scottish ballad, “Tam Lin.” Fire and Hemlock is most obviously a retelling of the ballad (though it retells and draws from other tales, as Diana Wynne Jones has cataloged in her essay on the novel), and interweaves the original material throughout. Later epigraphs will also be drawn from a medieval lay, Thomas the Rhymer, which is typically accepted as Tam Lin's direct antecedent.

It isn’t necessary to know the plot of Tam Lin to appreciate how the themes comes in—partially thanks to these epigraphs—but I also wrote my senior thesis on the ballad, so I’m going to offer a summary anyway: Janet, a noblewoman’s daughter, goes into the forest of Caterhaugh, where Tam Lin lives/hangs out. They have a sexual encounter, initiated by Janet’s own confidence. She becomes pregnant, and her father, not knowing who the forthcoming baby’s dad is, wants to marry her off to one of his nobles. Janet prefers to abort the baby and is about to do so when she meets Tam Lin again, who tells her to keep the child. He explains that he has been placed under a curse by a Fairy Queen, and unless Janet liberates him, he will be offered to the devil as a fairy tithe. Janet agrees, mostly to legitimize her child. Through holding onto Tam as the Fairy Queen attempts to shapeshift him into submission, Janet turns him back into a human (there is an assumption throughout that he is a bit fay himself, though born a man) and the queen rages at them for having escaped her control. The ballad ends with an unspoken HEA. Several of these thematic resonances will become really important as we work through F&H, even though the plot itself is altered (crucially, neither a sex scene nor a pregnancy feature in this version, though sexuality and transgression and also creation certainly do).

This particular quotation is an interesting choice from the ballad itself, if you excuse my nerding out: it doesn’t feature in the main version but in one of the variations, and it is spoken in Tam Lin’s voice, which contradicts the immediate narrative expectation of a line in Janet’s voice (since Polly is pretty consistently Janet throughout). But what’s most important about it is that Tam says this line (and only in a variation on the main version, incidentally) to describe what happened when he fell under the Fairy Queen’s thrall. At the outset, it signals us to enchantment: as a reader, following Polly’s navigation of this perilous world she becomes drawn into, but also merely as readers. One of my favorite things about this novel is DWJ’s ability to pull her readers into her richly felt, incredibly paced world. The first time I read this, I gulped it down in the course of an afternoon, and when I finished, I surfaced feeling as though I had woken from a dream. This book is a beautiful enchantment, and it very kindly lets you know so.

#fh readalong #fire and hemlock #diana wynne jones #dwj

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zan0tix · 2 years ago

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Do you have thoughts about Dirk and Jake's relationship in canon? I am not anti dirkjake but I do have a hard time understanding the ship and why it's so massively popular. /gen (I have not yet read the epilogues so I'm just working off of whats in the comic)

Oh boy. DO I. Im currently working on a powerpoint presentation thatll be a little guide/recap/compilation.. thing about them whilst im reading act 6 and ill post it whenever i finish rereading the comic and writing all my notes! It will go into all the little bits of dialogue about eachother or narrative ties to certain things and such and such. (Will probably post this some time in the next two months or three. no guarantees)

But! The portrayal of their relationship and who they are and their struggles felt so real to me and it constantly astounds me that theres a fictional character who accurately displayed my own struggles in such a sincere way i feel like im getting put on blast when people psychoanalyise jake english orz

Homestucks character writing and thematic paralleling are some of its best assets and dirkjake are FULL of some of homestucks greatest moments of both. I would say that this post from @/tomatograter goes more into detail about those said moments and also alot of the other reasons i like them! And what they said in this post was true!-

-Theres just so much you can explore in homestuck through their relationship and aaaguh i love it i love it and theyre so important to the overall narrative and its just so nice to see openly gay rep that is as realistic and honest as them in a story like homestuck.

Being a teenager myself coming of age stories are the stories i relate to and find captivating the most right now and i dont think ive seen another piece of media go about its teen characters the way homestuck did. Its got problems on the handling of said characters but i dont think ive read anything else as raw and honest about personal issues teens face growing up and how they affect relationships (of all kinds!) and dirkjake are a big part of that for me!

I dont really like majority of fanon interpretations of dirkjake i wont lie (alot of.. flanderisation and blatant mischaracterisation) i dont really keep track of fandom stuff or ship popularity i just like enjoying what i enjoy and drawing things and talking about it with friends haha

And i have not read the epilogues either! i know the gist of the events in each timeline and i read a couple chapters but that was like years ago at this point and i dont think i will ever attempt to read them or homestuck^2. Some of the ideas that were present couldve been interesting but i honestly have no interest in going anywhere near it from what ive read about it. It sounds like a total shitshow and its not required to enjoy homestuck proper anyway so ¯_(ツ)_/¯

But!! if youd like to hear more about dirkjake in canon id totally reccomend tomatograter's other posts on them!!! his analysis was the thing that made me Really interested homestuck and hehe im grateful because now im here. This post has alot more of his meta commentary about them and theyre all really interesting reads :D

#daniel talks #dirkjake #meta #I think anyway #But thank you for sending in an ask! (also goes for that previous person) i know i dont really say much aside from posting art but-#I do really enjoying talking about these things :DD i have so many thoughts...

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meimi-haneoka · 1 year ago

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Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 79: Comments + JP-ENG translation differences

Welcome back to our monthly appointment, CCS fans! This chapter comes right after this month's full moon, the Hunter Moon! (lol yes I will feature the name of the relative full moon till the end of the story). And speaking of the end of the story, I will start this analysis and translation post from the end of the chapter, where I found the confirmation to the rumour that had been going on for hours before the official release on Comic Days:

yes, dear readers, this is not a drill, Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Arc will end with chapter 80, after 7 years of serialization! 🎉✨ When *the last chapter* is announced, there's no turning back! No more sudden announcements of extensions! 🥹 But at the moment of writing this post, no mentions have been given about any "epilogue" or extra chapters that might be serialized in the upcoming months leading to the big release of volume 16 on April 1st!

On the translation side, I have to sigh in relief because no major misunderstandings happened in the ENG version, just some minor inaccuracies! I was kinda scared because this chapter is pretty important and complex in itself.

And let me say that what happened in this chapter 79 definitely marks the end of the climax, so I can totally see it ending in next chapter. The chapter tackled some very important thematics regarding the presence of "evil" in this series, that I will talk about extensively in my analysis.

The announcement today made me already a bit nostalgic and sad, but I want to strive hard to accompany myself and all of you towards the end of this arc with excitement and a smile, therefore I won't let myself be prey of the sadness yet and introduce you immediately to the gif of this month, because there's a lot we need to talk about and analyze and we can't waste time!!

This is entirely dedicated to our protagonist and heroine Sakura-chan, because damn, she really slayed this chapter!!! Under the cut to see what miracles she made happen!

The Color Page

My dear readers, after years of countless pleas on my social media, after being let down month after month, CLAMP FINALLY GRANTED ME A COLOR PAGE SOLELY DEDICATED TO KAITO AND AKIHO TOGETHER ON THE SECOND-TO-LAST CHAPTER!! Yaaaay!! Excuse me while I celebrate this event here in my little corner, especially after having a rough month! 🎉🎉🎉 I hope my followers thought of me when they saw it? Like "finally she'll stop asking for it" (breaking news, I'll keep asking for more even after the series is over) 😂 It took them 79 chapters to do so and honestly I'm laughing because....yes, I admit it, I expected another vibe for such an important color page coming after such an important emotional scene in chapter 78, but honestly the first thing I thought when I saw it was "....they had to wait 79 chapters for this? 😧" 😂because it's very very "regular", I think it would've been ok for this to come out long ago. LOL I'm being brutally honest here, I hope no one gets offended, especially because that pet peeve aside, OF COURSE I love this precious color page to bits, and I know under its "normalcy", its got a very important meaning to the both of them.

Akiho and Kaito are depicted together clearly during one of their travels....but the question is, is this from the past? Or the near future? I'd daresay they look the same age they are now, so this might probably be a foreshadowing for the future...? They'll keep travelling the world? But seeing the content of the chapter, this might also be just a call-back to their memories together and everything that they experienced during those travels, tightening their bond. Travelling the world is, after all, really their thing, their element. I really like Kaito's expression, with his usual smile that almost turns into a smirk, he gives off a vibe of being finally free to express his emotions. He looks carefree, and that's really something for him. Akiho, on the other hand, is always so much more expressive than him and you can literally feel the joy and excitement emanating from her delighted expression. Travelling with him makes her happy, so yes, should this be what awaits them in the finale, it's fine by me as long as they're happy (I'm rooting for the other option though, the "stay in Tomoeda with your newfound support network" route).

But as you know, I always have to analyze the color pages a bit deeper, especially when they're about these two. And since I had to keep myself distracted, I made a bit of research. Other than the "travelling" vibe, this illustration gives off also kind of a "vintage" vibe (which is another strong element to Akiho and Kaito). It seems Akiho is dressed in a sleeveless coat with cape and wearing a bonnet fully inspired by those worn by children in the second half of the 1800s, in the Victorian era.

(pic courtesy of Etsy) This is a model from 1896, for example. When I pinpointed the period, I immediately thought "uh, the Victorian era is also the period when Alice in Wonderland came out", although that was more towards the 1860s. I found it really interesting and a nice touch for this illustration with a retro flavor (the suitcase and purse also look kinda vintage).

But another thing that immediately caught my eyes were those cute birds landing on Kaito's shoulder and Akiho's bonnet. I immediately tried to look what kind of birds they are, and it seems like they could really be eastern bluebirds, typical of North America. Searching further, I found out that in several cultures bluebirds are harbinger of happiness and symbols of hope. I couldn't honestly have thought for a more fitting symbolism, for these two. Especially cause birds often are associated with an imagery of freedom, and this is something else that these two need, after being hunted by evil people for so long. They really do look free, in this color page. Also, the presence of the birds in this color page immediately brought me back to the color page of chapter 62, where we can see baby Kaito in a wintery setting, sitting on a lamppost, extending his little hand to a swallow coming to him. Swallows are a symbol of hope and bring a message of "spring is coming", and continuing from that message of hope, of "spring is coming for you too", we can finally see here in chapter 79 our Kaito with his true happiness, symbolized literally by the birds most associated with happiness. Another thing that caught my eyes is of course the lily depicted on the cover of the book Akiho is holding, a nice callback to Akiho's mother and Kaito's torment, Lilie. She's always going to be with them ❤️

The Japanese editorial text over the picture is an excerpt of what Momo was musing to herself in chapter 39, while imagining to talk to Kaito: "You traveled with her, and spent time together with her". I think CLAMP chose to feature this line to indicate an important thing that will be restored at the end of this chapter.

Everyone Is Doing Their Best

The chapter starts with a panel showing some light coming off Yukito's house, and we find out that even Touya fainted, exhausted by the effort to keep time stopped as much as possible. Ruby Moon is cradling his head on her lap trying to assist him and "recharge" his magical power, in hope to be able to maintain time "stopped" a bit more. In fact, if you notice, the "black covering" that symbolizes the time-stopping spell isn't completely destroyed yet, but only riddled with "holes", an indication that the spell is still somehow active, even if feebly. I imagine this might "slow down" the attacks, which are still coming but probably not at full speed like they would if the spell came undone completely. I have to point out immediately a mild inaccuracy in the ENG version, that I want to specify in order to dispel extreme theories before they're born: no, Ruby Moon didn't give up all of her powers to Touya, the verb used here is simply 補える, "can replenish (your magic)", not "give all".

Touya doesn't lose his sense of humor even in a dire situation like this, and comments sarcastically "What are you, a battery?", a clear recall to the whole "batteries" matter that came out in the un-rewritten world. Touya isn't supposed to remember about that, and he probably doesn't, but this is just a way from CLAMP to show that even in a situation where memories have been rewritten, some things will be unconsciously said again, because they're just meant to happen.

Ruby Moon calls for assistance from her "brother" Spinel Sun (love how even in these true forms, she still calls him "Suppy"), whom rejects the appellative of "battery" but agrees to give her a hand with "recharging" Touya to keep the spell up a bit longer. Everyone looks outside, only one thought in their minds, which is voiced clearly by a serious Tomoyo: "Sakura and everyone else are fighting with all they've got". I have to point out a typo here in the Japanese version (nothing serious, it can happen and will be surely fixed in the tankobon version): Tomoyo calls Sakura "Sakura-san". I loved the "sparkles" around Tomoyo's eyes, as if indicating that her extraordinary intuition is "at work" and just telling her that, even if they can't see them because they're quite far away, Sakura and the others are doing whatever they can to stop these attacks. And the fact they can see the attacks, but not their friends and their condition, must be really hard to witness, for all of them. But no worries, there's Touya nii-chan who's always ready to lighten the mood even in this challenging situation, joking that "If they don't get back before the curfew, they won't be getting their snacks tomorrow!". Here the ENG adds "squirt" to make Touya refer specifically to Sakura, but truth to be told, in the JP there's no subject, so he might be referring to everyone. It's amazing how he's able to keep his spirit up and be sarcastic even in this situation....he really believes in his little sister so much!

I'll Make Them Forget About You

Back where our heroes are, the attacks keep coming relentlessly, countered by Syaoran, Yue and Kero in tandem. Sakura reflects on the fact that the only transparent Cards she's got left are these two she's holding in her hands (Time and Rewind) and Flight. This statement leads me to believe that when Record transformed into that crystal that entered her, that meant that the Card completed its duty and disappeared inside of her. But Sakura isn't worried at all, because she knows that she can create more Cards. Yessss, this development that I've been anticipating since quite some time is finally here! ✨🎉 Sakura seems to finally have a concrete plan, but before proceeding, she needs to ascertain something. She asks directly to Kaito: "The people who are using these spells were trying to hurt you, right?". Kaito, with a pensive face, answers affirmatively.

But it's when Sakura asks again "Were they trying to hurt Akiho too?" that his expression turns really painful, the background after him portraying well his raging emotions and, while Mokona-sensei chose to leave Akiho hidden by Kaito's black wings in the previous panels, now she finally shows how both she and Kaito are holding onto eachother, while our boy answers with a "...Yes" dripping with sorrow. It really squeezed my heart with pain, this scene. Because as long as Sakura was asking about him, his expression was pensive but almost as if it's something he's used to, that didn't shake him too much. But when Sakura mentions Akiho, god, that wrecked him. Any mention, any reminescence of what those bastards did to her and how they were chasing after her to put their filthy hands on her again wrecks him even now, and it's like Mokona with her visual skills is showing how Kaito seems to be holding Akiho a little bit tighter, while he answers Sakura's question. I also have to point out something that I had noticed already from last chapter, but a panel tricked me into believing I was just seeing things: CLAMP here use a dark screentone for Kaito's eyes, that he never had before (actually, no other character in CCS got this effect in their eyes). This effect will be used on him for the entire chapter.

And it seems like it's the very same screentone that was used for the dragon. I think this might be an indication that the wings aren't the only reminescence of his dragon appearance!

Sakura shows once again an incredible empathy that allows her to go right to the heart of the issue without investigating much. If Kaito rewrote an entire world, and if it's true that Akiho in the previous world didn't have all the love and familiar support she's got now, it means that she was probably in danger too. And seeing as these people are attacking them now because they freed Kaito from his "punishment", Sakura doesn't really need much to make 2+2 and understand the situation. Sakura believes in Akiho, therefore she believes in Kaito too, and knows that if he came to this point it's because they were in a desperate and dangerous situation.

Showing an incredible insight, Sakura shocks both Kaito and Akiho by asking:

Sakura, JP: "In that case, can I make those people forget about you both?"

Because our girl needs to make sure that the plan she came up with won't have any undesired consequences. But most importantly, she needs to have their consent. She reiterates this once again, actually she will make sure to ask Kaito and Akiho's consent 3 times in total. She says: JP, lit. "If going back to before the world was rewritten will put you through hardships once again, then, can I just make them forget?" Kaito is even more shocked, because he finally understands Sakura's intent. A generous, selfless intent born from a loving heart. Our girl wants to make sure that these two will be safe and sound once she fixes this situation. She can't take risks, because their happiness is all she's really caring for right now. And in his shocked expression, I can also see some kind of "omg YES, PLEASE" vibe. Because probably, having those terrible people forgetting all about them is everything he ever wished, but couldn't achieve. And I think it's really funny how we berated Kaito so much in the past chapters for making Akiho and the others forget facts that happened before and forgetting about him, but here Sakura just takes "inspiration" from him and actually decides to use that same "trick" in the right way. Because it's not fair that it should be them, the abused people, to forget about their most important person, in order to achieve a happy life for at least one of them. It isn't fair and it isn't right that Kaito was driven into making all the mess that he made, pushed by desperation. The abusers, that clan and Association of magicians, should be the ones forgetting.

But this is Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card's finale, and Sakura definitely hasn't finished with being amazing yet, she actually just started. Her very strong power at this point allows her not only to see things that were difficult before, but also to connect the dots more easily thanks to that renowned instinct that I've always talked to you about, and that she learned to finally listen to.

As if she were seeing through him with X-rays, she confidently affirms that there's a book inside of him, a white book where you can inscribe magic on. And she also knows that that same book was inside Akiho, once. I guess this might be even coming from past memories of the unrewritten world (do you remember when, before the play started, Sakura said that she could feel something inside Akiho?). Akiho of course is shocked to hear that, and from her expression you can almost feel the chill that went down her spine in that moment. Sakura affirms that this book knows both Akiho and Kaito (thanks to the fact that it was inside both of them - something that I've always found painfully heartbreaking but also quite moving, for my ship), and it's got a very strong power inside of it. These will be two crucial things for Sakura's plan. In fact, our heroine is hellbent in attempting something pretty arduous: utilizing that artifact's power to create a new Card. For impartiality, I have to point out that the ENG added (completely on their whim) a "you, her special person" that isn't there in the JP version! Of course it's all the better for me, since they repeat (finally with the right adjective) that Kaito is Akiho's special person, but it's kinda funny that they messed it up so much in the previous chapters, and now they're adding it where there isn't any mention of it!

Sakura will be using a tool that knows the both of them, therefore she is sure that her plan will succeed, because the Card will know what it will need to erase. Sakura asks for Kaito and Akiho's agreement one last time. After hearing how those people wanted to hurt them both and even implanted the same magical artifact inside of her, Akiho is quite resolute and doesn't have any doubt: on with the wiping off! It doesn't matter who those people are, they've tried to harm her most important person and her too, so she doesn't really seem to give a damn about proceeding with this plan. Kaito, on the other hand, seems to be giving a more lackluster affirmative reply, but it's not that he's uncertain: he's just still riddled with guilt for all the mess that he's done, and he's probably realizing that now Sakura will need to put herself on the line in order to fix this and protect both of them, hence his sad face.

Still surfing the confidence wave, Sakura guesses that once those people have forgotten about Akiho and Kaito, then the magic arrows will stop too, and Kaito confirms that: forgetting about the person who had the Seal of D enforced on him will be equal to "undo" both the activation of the Seal itself (when Kaito removed the book from Akiho) and also the rescission of it (what Sakura did when she freed Kaito from the cage). This will therefore stop the arrows too, because the Seal wouldn't have been triggered in the first place. However, Kaito warns her that, although time is still barely "stopped" (because the time-stopping spell is still weakly on), it's necessary an enormous amount of power in order to do what Sakura wants to do. I have to point out another inaccuracy in the ENG translation in this part, which makes Kaito say "before things could get worse" and I have the feeling they misunderstood the word 辛うじて, "barely" or "narrowly", which is also written with the kanji of 辛い, "hard" or "tough". So Kaito isn't saying "before things could get worse" but actually meaning "although time is barely stopped".

Sakura doesn't seem to be scared by Kaito's warning, and activates her wand without a second thought, and immediately we can see that her task wil NOT be easy, as she can feel the strain almost right away.

Here we go with another inaccuracy of the ENG translation:

Sakura, ENG: "Great book, please show yourself! My power alone won't be enough...!" Sakura, JP: "The book....doesn't want to come out. (it's too difficult to pull it out) with just my power..."

Basically, Sakura isn't begging the book to "show itself", she's actually actively trying to pull it out of Kaito, and she's aware that it's opposing a lot of resistance, and her power alone isn't enough to take this damn book out. Sakura refuses to give up, because everyone else is doing their best too. Yes, everyone else.

And that's when CLAMP decided to bring us a big surprise for this finale.

A pair of hands seem to be appearing next to Sakura's, as if a spirit is hugging her from behind. We can see the famous fan that we learned to recognize so well ever since her first appearance in Movie 1. Sakura feels immediately the same magical power of Syaoran surrounding her, and with her instinct she finally recognizes her: it's Syaoran's mother, YELAN!!! We can see her, sweating and all, in her sacred chinese pavilion, lending her power to help in this difficult task.

What a great, welcome surprise for this finale!! You might have heard me saying on Twitter that Clear Card is really a celebration of motherhood, with this constant presence of mothers and mother figures who try to help these kids growing up without removing their right to choose for themselves. And since Yelan is the only mother figure who can concretely help Sakura in this moment, with her immense power, I really loved to see how this woman didn't hesitate to assist her future daugher in law. For any SyaoSaku fan, this scene here is a huge thing. We have seen in the anime how Yelan doted on Sakura ever since she met her in Movie 1, even before her own son realized his feelings for this girl. Yelan and Sakura haven't met in the manga yet (and hello, CLAMP, now this is a good chance for letting that happen, after the madness is over), but the woman didn't hesitate a moment to lend her power. I can really imagine how along these two will get, in the future. ❤️

Sakura thanks her aloud, while her eyes show that she's really really tired. Yelan's assistance is finally effective in summoning the artifact book out of Kaito, and we see again those countless book pages that we saw both when Akiho used to go "berserk", and also in the most heartbreaking scene of chapter 70. Kaito, still holding onto a worried Akiho, seems to suffer physically from this removal, and I can't understand if it's because removing something magical from inside is naturally painful (we've been shown something like that before, Syaoran crouching to the ground in pain while the Sakura Cards were being removed from inside of him) OR if the removal of the artifact also triggered his poor health conditions in which we left him, before he disappeared in chapter 70.

Sakura tries with all she's got and finally manages to turn the artifact into its "true form": a book filled with countless of spells written in strange magic runes.

You have spotted it, right? ☝️ I haven't seen many fandom reactions yet, but I guess this "cameo" made more than one person scream: it's Fay D. Fluorite's tattoo, yes! This page of the "book" is probably describing the procedure to cast that tattoo (which was also a kind of "seal", if I remember correctly). So that spells exists in this CCS world too! 😅 The magic Sakura is weaving starts "working" on the book, literally removing the spells from its pages and turning them back to their original form of magical books (remember that the Squids used to say that they would inscribe "magic books" and their power onto Akiho?).

Then, solemnly, we hear probably for the last time ever the magical incantation that accompanied us in the beginning of the story, used by Sakura to secure the strange manifestations of power into a transparent Card:

ENG: "Force without master, heed the call of my Staff of Dreams and become my power! SECURE!"

The countless of books and all this tremendous amount of power get secured into the birth of a new Card: BLANK!!!

Blank got the human appearance of Akiho, but also the protective wings of Kaito. The girl is holding a book (of course, how perfect for her) which is the representation of the artifact that was inside both Kaito and Akiho. This card is really so meaningful for someone like me who loves Akiho and Kaito. It's representing them united in their suffering (the artifact) but also in the hope for a better future (Akiho is smiling and the Card will be used to grant them safety, away from their abusers). I've always imagined that one of the last Cards Sakura might have produced would have Akiho and Kaito's elements, and here it is.

Also, how AWESOME is that Sakura managed to dispose of that damn artifact and succeeded to use it for Kaito and Akiho's sake, and turned it against the monsters who created it??? HOW. AWESOME. IS. THAT!!!!

Producing the very first consciously created transparent Card sucked almost all of Sakura's power and strength, and she's close to fainting, under the terrified eyes of Akiho, who lets go of Kaito for a moment in a gesture of going towards her "sister". But Sakura isn't done yet, no. She can't give up yet because her job isn't done.

And I Will Make Them Remember About You

Sakura wants for Akiho and the people who care about her (the ENG decided to translate this with "the people SHE holds dear") to remember who Akiho really is. She wants basically to "undo" what the rewriting of the world caused on the people who know Akiho, making them believe that she was born into the Kinomoto family and that she was Sakura and Touya's sister.

After pondering for a while and discussing with my friends over at my Discord server, I decided I'm not gonna go out on a limb and assume things from this decision, because I definitely NEED to read the next chapter to see how much Sakura intends people to remember, with this move. It's really not clear at all, as of now.

Anyway, other translation inaccuracy incoming!

Sakura, ENG: "I'm going to make another new card for that...and I might not have the power to do it alone" Sakura, JP: "It might probably be really difficult to create one more new card with my power, right now..."

As you can see, the nuance is different, because Sakura in the JP addresses how it's almost impossible for her to create another new card in the situation she is in right now, exhausted and all.

That's why, very cleverly, she's going to do something different. (My gosh how proud I am of this girl!!)

Saying "But these two Cards will surely help me", Sakura skillfully manages to merge Time and Rewind to create a new Card, not from scratch (which requires more power) but using what she's already got: and that's how the REMIND Card is born!!! The name of the Card originated by just replacing the "W" of Rewind with the "M" of Time. Ingenious, isn't it???

And as the two Cards merge, they give us lots of flashbacks, like the "effect" used here resembles a lot the one that used to happen when Sakura was changing the Clow Cards into the Sakura Cards back in the old arcs, or how the merging of two Cards seems to also be a callback to how the "card without name" and the "Nothing" merged to create HOPE in the very last minutes of Movie 2! What a nostalgic trip down the memories lane!

And the appearance of this Card is even more touching, because it features Syaoran (with his current age) holding Nadeshiko's pendant watch. I found that so sweet, especially coupled with Yelan's assistance to Sakura in this chapter. Yelan associated with Sakura, and Syaoran associated with Nadeshiko. How sweet. And when you think that even Lilie, Akiho's mother, was associated with Kaito, you really can realize that this is some kind of "theme" that CLAMP seemed to be wanting to portray in this story.

I Can't Be On Everyone's Side

And now, the scene that I think is worth the whole chapter, but probably the whole Clear Card Arc in its entirety. As usual, with important scenes, I'll use the literal translation from Japanese:

Sakura, JP: "It might not be right that there'll be people who will forget things (after this), but....I can't be everyone's friend/ally/can't be on everyone's side. So I won't go back...but actually, along with the people important to me... I WANT TO GO ON"

Wow. Let that sink in.

Sakura, of Cardcaptor Sakura, just came to the realization and spelled out clearly that she cannot be on everyone's side. That she cannot be "everyone's friend", like in a cheesy fairytale.

And I really, really, want to thank CLAMP-sensei for this scene and this line because for a period, long time ago, I was worried that this story would go down the "let's be friends" or "let's show sympathy to them" route. But as the chapters continued and the things CLAMP told us about the Association and the Squids were more and more cruel, and they made me more and more sick, I started to realize that there was simply no way CLAMP could've had Sakura try to justify or compromise with them. Because when cruelty is real, there's no compromise to be made.

This scene also shows how Sakura realizes for the first time ever that in her world, contrary to what we all believed previously, evil exists. It might not touch her or her "entourage" directly (and she's really blessed for that), but it exists out there and it's hurting people, people who can also become really important to her. And she decides to not stand idly by, blessed as she is with the luck of not experiencing that evilness, but actually using whatever it is in her power to bring those suffering people to safety.

Sakura cannot fight those people on equal terms. She's just 13, and although her power is very strong, she's still inexperienced. Moreover, she cannot really bring herself to deny her current nature and use violence on other human beings. That's not Sakura. I want you guys to reflect on this because I know that one of the favorite things expected for this finale was to have a direct magical confrontation with the true villains of this arc, defeating them and restablishing the peace. And I am sincere when I say that I would've wished for the same too, because you know how much I love Kaito and Akiho, and how much I was disgusted to read about what they did to them. I've spread my "burn the squids" gifs all over the fandom. I wanted someone to vindicate them. But not here. Not in this manga. I realized that after the initial satisfaction, I would've probably felt like the series would've been "defiled". And that's exactly what happens when you answer to violence with more violence.

Sakura just could not go hunting those bastards down and defeat them in a magical battle. Because, powerful and corrupted in their greed as they are, the only way to "fix" this situation would've been to exterminate them. I just could not picture this story to cross that boundary, no matter how much the bar had already been raised well over what we initially thought.

So, if someone out there is disappointed by this outcome, I'm sorry for you, but it was just not meant to be and I'm actually really glad that this series kept true to its fundamental values. Of course it would, CLAMP really do care about this series and they know very well how far to push the plot, and when to actually stop.

So what is the role of Akiho's clan and the Magic Association in this story, especially considering that we never saw their faces at all? Talking with lots of fans in these years, especially Japanese, I've come to the conclusion that they are not in this story to fill the "villain that needs to be deafeated" role, but actually they're a representation of abusive families that smother and suffocate their children with expectations, completely disregarding those children's natural inclinations, and abuse them when they do not meet such expectations, but also the society as a whole, that looks at you only basing on how it can take advantage of you. Which is exactly what happened to Akiho and Kaito, driving them to very dark places. The absence of faces for those characters makes it possible for the readers to see the Squids and the Association as the representation of whatever environment they relate the most to. It can be family, society, school, workplace etc... It also helps us focusing on their actions, rather than their faces, and not attribute any prejudice to them (because of religion, race, skin color, or whatever other attribute they could have).

Seeing as the story treats them more like a concept, than an actual entity, it's basically impossible for Sakura to defeat them (and their great power is an indication of that impossibility). Just like in real life, darkness will always exist, along with light. Good and evil will always be side by side. It's bigger than any of us. Then, what can we do, in a situation like this? What Sakura is choosing to do, here, is not to confront directly with violence these people who are way out of her league, and not even to sit back and look, but actually finding a way to make them forget about her friends and keeping her friends safe, granting them the possibility of living a happy life, finally away from the darkness of the past, healing the wounds on their souls together with the people they love and who love them back. Because even if you've been abused in the past, you can still hope for a happy life.

The focus here is all on helping the abused people. And Sakura, in order to do that, is okay with coming to terms with the fact that she can't be on everyone's side, and she needs to choose. In the end, the thing that really matters the most is to GO ON with your most important people. Not going back to what is lost, but going forward. And I know that this is such a CLAMP theme, and I'm glad that they reiterated it in this arc. When I say that Clear Card brought Sakura so much more closer to what's usual for CLAMP, I mean this.

The panel with Sakura raising her staff and shouting she wants to go on is absolutely beautiful, with those wings growing so big and unleashing Sakura's power in a storm of cherry blossom petals.

Sakura is exhausted, she finally reached her limit by using her ultimate magic. As she faints, her eyes just make it in time to catch a glimpse of her prince, the love of her life grabbing tightly his girlfriend's hand, to not let her fall, while the watch of Remind and the book of Blank do their job in the background. And I really loved this spread too, because even if it's not a conventional romantic scene made of physical display of love, this in my opinion is even more powerful. Many were reminded of Tsubasa, but I was also reminded of the long time those two spent unable to touch one another, and this scene here seems like a catharsis for that hardship they went through. Syaoran will always catch Sakura everytime she falls, he will always be there to grab her hand, no matter if he can really touch her or not. Cause his love is stronger than any kind of impediment. He will always be by her side, no matter what. When she's exhausted by her heroine's duties, she knows that she can always count on him to support her.

And speaking of "always be by her side", I just can't avoid mentioning how Akiho and Kaito stayed "glued" to eachother for the entire duration of this chapter, protecting and supporting one another. Kaito, in particular, kept holding Akiho even as Sakura's magic was hurting him like hell, because it was extracting the book from him. Even in excruciating pain, he did not let go of Akiho, intent in protecting her and keeping her safe in his hold. Akiho let go of him just for a moment when she was scared out of her mind for Sakura, but went back to him when she saw that her "sister" was hellbent in completing her task no matter what. Kaito, as the good "moon boy" he is, is someone who shows his feelings through his actions rather than words, just like Syaoran. And his constant grip on Akiho in this chapter, such an opposite act compared to how he used to stop his hand everytime it started reaching out to her, told me all that I needed to know about him: she's his most important person, and he will never let go of her, ever again.

Sakura wakes up in her bed. The scene is a direct parallel with an almost identical scene in chapter 3, as you can see here:

Kero is next to her and is relieved to see her awake, so he goes to shout in the hallway, directed to Touya, that Sakura is finally awake. Sakura seems a bit surprised to see Kero talking so nonchalantly with her brother, and he tells her that he chatted with him back at Yukito's house, together with Suppy, so I guess now he finds it "natural" to talk to her brother too! 😂 I'm kinda glad to know that, I like this "change of relationship", compared to the old series (and it was also kinda long overdue).

Sakura opens the palm of her hands and she finds the Dream Key, still intact and all. She also asks about Remind and Blank, and Kero confirms to her that she was able to use them successfully! Sakura is absolutely delighted to hear that, and says "We were able to go on!"

And thaaaaaaat's how the second-to-last chapter of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card ends! Solving a lot of the pending situations, but still leaving some secondary questions that will surely find a (more or less) detailed explanation in the final, next chapter. And well, we also have to prepare to not have ALL the answers to ALL the questions we might have. This is usual for CLAMP, and especially in their Spaces they never made it a secret that they love for their fans to wreck their brains over theories and imagining the characters' future after a series is over. They love for the fans to give their interpretations to things, they encourage that a lot (also because it creates more long-lasting engagement with their series).

Alas, I expect they'll leave something in particular to everyone's interpretation, but we'll see. 😅

Overall, I really loved this chapter and it was really emotional for me. I think it's fitting for a "climax". Sakura was ABSOLUTELY running the show and after this I dare anyone to say that she isn't the main character of her story. She pushed her limits, and even questioned her own morality in doing so. What a wonderful thing. She reminded me so much of Sakura-hime when she shooted all those monsters in order to take the precious egg, back in the Acid Tokyo arc of Tsubasa. She knew she was doing something bad, but her wish to do everything needed in order to "have him back" was stronger than anything else. And she made her own choice. Here, Sakura, on a smaller scale, made her own choice too.

Now, I hope in the last chapter we'll be granted the possibility to delve a bit more into Kaito and his thoughts, I need to see his character development, I need to see that he learned something from this. That he -at least- started to interrogate himself over the nature of his feelings for Akiho. I know it's reasonable to think that with him, things will take looooong time, but as least show me the signs. Because I need to know that Akiho will be truly happy with him (I know she will!), and she can only be if he's learned to be honest with himself. And learned what Lilie meant with the last conversation we saw between them.

Also, WHERE'S MOMO, I NEED TO SEE MOMO BEFORE THIS ENDS!!

Okay, this is probably the longest post I ever did but I think as the second-to-last chapter it deserved to have some big thematics explored in depth, because they're very important. I'm still pondering if I should divide the post of the final chapter in two because, in addition to even more pages, I expect there'll be soooooooooo much to talk about (cross your fingers with me that there won't be any translation mistake).

I also hope there'll be room for an epilogue or a couple of extra chapters, to help us coping with the separation in a more gradual way, cause after 7 years it's quite hard. I was curious to see the end, of course, but also not entirely ready to let this wonderful story go. I really, really enjoyed it and I say this from the bottom of my heart. I don't care what everyone else thinks, I can only be grateful to CLAMP for Clear Card Arc. 🙏

Chapter 80, along with all the tears that will come with it, is expected to be uploaded on November 29th on CLAMP's Youtube channel. Yes, it's less than a month away! I also expect some news about the anime (BLESS THE ANIME!! Something to cling onto when the manga is over 😭).

Well, see you at the end of November (please come to hold my hand cause I cannot do this alone, lol) !!!

#cardcaptor sakura #card captor sakura #ccsakura #clear card arc #ccs spoilers #sakura card captor #chapter 79 #sakura kinomoto #akiho shinomoto #yuna d. kaito #syaoran li #translation differences

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