#its also why i label myself as just ‘queer’ (or don’t label myself at all. depends on who im speaking to)

[poohwhin]

i’ve realised that i find it relatively(?) easy to assign sexualities to my characters, but find it extremely difficult (impossible) to give them romantic orientations. only bc 1): i don’t understand the difference between platonic and romantic attraction/advances/etc…

2): my view on it is very odd. (idk if its odd but i feel like it’d be confusing to people).

[drdemonprince]

Autistic friend anon here — thank you so much for your answer and the substack post. I was kind of stuck in the “rejection” feeling of “wait but if being autistic isn’t a bad thing then why are you so upset at the idea that YOU might be autistic”. I took it really personally and wasn’t really thinking about how much it sucks when someone acts like they know you better than you do. I’ll have to keep working through that.

I also often get stuck in the idea that “well if someone had just TOLD ME I was queer/trans/autistic then I could have figured it out sooner and life would be better” or whatever. But after many years of being out as queer/trans, I think that isn’t actually true and even if it is, I don’t interact with other possibly queer/trans people by “diagnosing” them with queerness/transness any more. In my head it seemed like autism was different for some reason, but of course it is not.

Anyway, your answer was really thoughtful and diplomatic, while also being very clear about what is bad behavior on my part. It is genuinely going to be a big benefit in my life.

Hey, nice to hear from you again!

I totally feel you. When I told a friend years ago that I thought she might be a BPDer, I was incensed that she ended up not taking that comment well. I meant it in an affirming, pro-Mad-Pride kinda way! I was a BPDer too! if she thought it was bad to be BPD, what did that mean she thought about me?

But I was looking at it the wrong way. I had just hurled a still very stigmatized label in her direction as a response to her complaining about real relational struggles in her life, which felt diminishing and presumptive. Telling various people in my life that I'm pretty sure they're Autistic can have a similar effect, even if they're on board Autism acceptance as an idea.

I used to fixate on the time I lost not realizing I was trans or queer or whatever the fuck I am yet. I had a vision of an older me materializing before me at age 16, specifically on the corn-lined roads I used to bike up and down furiously, and imagined telling myself the Truth of who I was and what I had to do to be happy. I believed that if i had known I was trans younger I would have avoided a lot of upsetting relationships, eating disordered periods, and general angst.

Now. I am pretty damn sure that is not true. It turns out that being trans was not a solution to all my problems, it was just another problem that I had. In the sense that it's a challenge to navigate on this bitch of an earth. if i hadn't chosen to be trans i would have chosen some other shit to do that also would have been a major pain in the ass i'm sure. that too would have been an interesting back story.

I dont think I was ever going to be outgoing and unneurotic and breezily well adjusted. That's not my lot in life. Feeling a little uncomfortable in my body and around other people is as definitional a part of me as my wit or my weird laugh. I can kinda love that about myself now, or at least accept it. nothing and nobody actually could have saved me. its just not that simple. but it's been a pretty interesting life.

i think we tend to impose our self-narratives onto other people when we are not happy or we are harboring deep regrets about having gotten something wrong or missed something in the past. but we cant spare our friends those journeys. they should get to have them. it's interesting and enriching to get things wrong, be in denial, cope in elaborate stupid ways, soul search, change our minds, miss something, find something, never know what's true.

[i-love-tamaki-suoh]

Are there any characters you think Ouran did very little justice to? Main characters or any side characters?

ooh i love this question!! i love love love the characters in ouran but there are definitely some that i think deserve better!!

the first who comes to mind is kyoya! overall i’m satisfied with his character but i wish we could’ve gotten a more concrete conclusion to his story!! in the last volume of the manga there is a page where bisco hatori explains that many readers wanted to see a resolution to kyoya’s family/company situation (like whether kyoya could become the heir or not), but she chose not to write about it because it wouldn’t be resolved for a very long time. i totally understand why she chose to do that, and i don’t think it HAD to happen for the story, but i wanted to see kyoya find some sort of happiness or achievement, you know? in the end he is still just vice president of the host club, but i want to see him be something on his own too!!

another character i thought of is ranka! for one, there is a lot of confusion and issues surrounding ranka’s queerness!! it is almost entirely used for comedy purposes and not explored at all. it’s certainly not a requirement for all queer characters to have deep explanations of their identities, but the vagueness of ranka’s character can be confusing. haruhi refers to them as her dad, but then they seem to react poorly to any other masculine labels. also i hate how a lot of translations use the t slur!!! i myself am not trans so i can’t speak for trans folk on these issues but these are my thoughts from an outside perspective.

i also wish we had a little more of ranka in the story!! in the manga there is a chapter about how they met haruhi’s mother, and she does show up in the story quite a bit, but idk i just want more!! ranka is a really fun character to me, so its sad that they are out of the picture a lot of the time.

as always please feel free to share your thoughts!! thank you for the question!!!

[russilton]

Do you genuinely believe George could be queer? Or are you just messing around? Because I’ve seen some people get really mad at others for publicly speculating about his/other drivers sexuality and yet you post that so casually. No hate btw! I’m just wondering (:

I’ve addressed this a couple times and am always happy to do so!

This is very much a jokes only kind of place. I cannot and will not ever accuse someone I don’t know of being queer because it’s none of my damn business. George is entirely entitled to his own privacy and frankly it’s just as likely he’s straight as he is not. And either way it’s none of my business. I’ve been asked a couple times who I think could be ACTUALLY queer on the grid and while I may have that conversation with trusted friends in private, I won’t on tumblr. I’m not gonna give homophobes more bait to sling.

I DO still engage in joking about it, because I am a queer person and it can be liberating and fun to take things that you had slung at you and play with them. It takes the barbs out of it. Y’all don’t know how many times I was told I walked or acted gay before I’d even figured out I was Bi. And it’s pretty common for queer people to take those labels now and turn them from insults into solidarity. I do sit funny, I am camp as the day is long, I do stand exactly like George did in that photo. I like to call George a lesbian because it’s reclaiming something homophobes used as an insult but frankly I think should be a fuckin compliment! Have you seen the dress sense on most lesbians? They fuckin rule.

F1 is an aggressively straight sport, it revels in its macho heterosexuality, and until that changes, I’m gonna rub my terrible little gay hands all over it and make the jokes about them acting fruity within the safety of tumblr, the gay shipping website.

And I’m gonna use George to maybe find the parts of myself I used to be embarrassed by… and make them something I appreciate. Something something self love through the vehicle of another. It’s also why I talk a lot about how both he and Lewis act painfully neurodivergent occasionally.

But in summery- yes! Jokes only! We do not label or diagnose people with shit, that is entirely up to them to share. We just laugh to take the edge off feeling a bit left out

[sableraven]

some issues I have with the proshipping community as someone sorta align with it.

This ain’t for antishippers so go away.

To preface this, I do align myself with the dead dove do not eat community and write what you want. I know technically it would make me a proshipper, but I do have a lot of issues with how proshippers handle race related stuff in fandoms and how some ignorance make spaces unwelcoming for people of color.

While I don’t think proshippers are anywhere near comparable to antishippers and their behaviors, I do think proshippers have the potential of creating their own echo chambers and being extreme in an “Us vs Them” they critique antishippers of doing.

One example is anyone have a discomfort to certain ships, tropes, or trigger warnings, which is FINE. Not everyone is comfortable with dead dove and I understand that. I understand that my works aren’t for everyone and I do my best to tag triggers and warn people before reading my works. I also have my own squicks when it comes to fiction, but I don’t harass anyone over it. For the extreme proshippers, some act if you have any discomfort and simply voice is (not everyone attacking anyone and looking down on others who enjoy it) you are labeled an anti. Or if you state not liking it, all of sudden, you should keep your opinions to yourself despite wanting people to have the freedom of how they can enjoy media.

This also goes into seeing anyone who have those discomforts as “sensitive” and not practicing basic decency of tagging your works as dead dove. A lot of proshippers equate any criticism of fiction as anti rhetoric even though criticism of fiction will always exist. If you put out art, you will be criticized. Sure, some criticism are hated disguised in it, but in terms of general discussion of published media and problematic issues in it, that has ALWAYS existed. Media studies, feminism media studies, etc. have existed longer than the stupid antiship vs proship discourse in fandoms. Someone pointing out problematic things in a media isn’t immediately anti rhetoric because published media hold a different responsibility to their audience than fanfic writers. Fanfiction is no where near as far reaching as published media that has the potential of reaching millions of people. That’s why when antis bring up “fictional can affect reality,” I don’t believe fanfiction can do that because its a very niche thing that most people interacting with it knows better. Published media has a different responsibility, thats why ratings exists, and the FTC is a thing in the US.  

And criticism isn’t bad! I get a lot of proshippers are hyper vigilant due to harassment in the past, but some of you go extreme on this opinion that any criticism is bad and that it doesn’t belong in fandoms. You’re not oppressed or being censored if your fanworks are being criticized. It’s still posted on AO3 and it will only be taken down if you wish it too. It’s like celebrities crying about cancel culture when it’s just online backlash that has no effect on the real world whatsoever. Some of y’all sound like anti woke cancel culture right winger when you complain about supposed “internet warriors” taking your right to create away. They’re not! Let’s not act like antishippers have any power to ever bring censorship laws, only politicians who don’t even know fanfiction exists.

Now this moves on the topic of racism in fandoms. This is where the problematic term of “fandom policing” comes up when half of the time its people of color, queer people, or women discussing how bigotry is rampant in fanbases. Look at the Star Wars fandom, any time a white character is race bent, video games, that exists. Which makes it frustrating that some proshippers treat these discussion as fandom policing or anti rhetoric. It’s not. I have had instances of proshippers trying to excuse racism that happens in fanbases as if I am misinterpreting it or its not racist because the fans have other reasons why they’re ranting about this media. I was also told by one proshipper because they, who is white, that they never encountered racism in the Star Wars fandom even though that shit had started with the first teaser trailer of the Force Awakens. Or they try to make it seems that the angry Star Wars fans who are mad about a black stormtropper existing is NOT racism, but because of established lore not being held up by Disney. (Which, none of the movies have explicitly said stormtroopers are white and ugh).

It’s also ridiculous how white proshipers are allowed the space to vent about being accused of racism by fandom members. I can agree that some accusations are ridiculous, especially ones made by antishippers, but half of it is because white proshippers insert themselves in discussion of racism started by fans of colors and whitesplain to them that it’s not racism and do the same excusal shit that I was met with. I get trying to defend your favorite media, but let people vent. Fans of colors aren’t given the luxury. For some reason, if you complain about racism perpetrated by fans or how the media they like have issues with bigotry, all of sudden its “you bringing politics in fandom spaces” and white proshippers are only using fandoms to “escape reality.” So are fans of color? I would love to use fiction to escape reality, but its hard when racism is rampant in your fandom circles or seeing characters of color being treated poorly in canon. Like cmon. Stop with the double standards. 

It’s annoying how much care that both proshippers and antishippers have when it comes to fiction and fictional characters, but not towards people in real life. Or that racial experiences committed by either side are ignored. Both sides act like they’re oppressed over the most chronically online shit ever. Or that anyone with a differing opinion is immediately label the other side. While proshippers don’t do harassment campaigns or force themselves into anti spaces for the purpose of doxxing, it doesn’t make them automatically safe for everyone, especially for people of color.

And please stop with the ageism towards younger people. Not every anti are “puriteens,” I seen a lot of antishippers within the 20-30 age range.

[the-rockinahard-place]

I’m a relatively fresh convert and I really agree with your post about how queerstake is important. The hardest pill to swallow with my conversion is the rejection of LGBTQ+ people and identities in the church.

As reference for my age, I’m a young YSA. I’ve identified as a lot of things over the last ten years as I’ve grown up, and I think I’ve generally settled on bi or queer as my label in terms of sexuality. I’m cis-ish, so I don’t face gender/presentation issues at church (besides the regular issues of being a woman in the church), but I experimented a lot with gender over the past eight years. I’m comfortable now identifying as a cis woman, but I experienced a lot of dysphoria in my early teens, and to know that five years ago I would probably not be welcomed in the church — at least to the degree I am now — is painful.

I feel like I can’t express my bisexuality/queerness and my previous struggles* with gender with church people IRL, especially as a new convert. It’s like I have to prove that I belong. I’m also very very active, which makes it harder.

Like you, I really appreciate queerstake as a community and resource to know that Heavenly Father loves and accepts me. We will not be resurrected and chastised for being too loving, too accepting, too “ourselves” in this life. That is not what Christ lived and died for.

*To be clear, I do not in any way think transness or questioning is a “struggle” that needs to be solved. I say “struggles with gender” only to refer to my own personal experience with internal and external pressures wrt my gender.

This is everything^^^ talking about our personal experiences like this is exactly why queerstake is so important. I hear you, being gay, ace, trans, bi, pan, & etc is a struggle in our church!! When some days feel harder than normal, I have to remind myself why I do it, I have to ask myself Why do I show up? but the only question that gives me answers is Why does God want me to show up? the way I see it is that we are here for a reason, God put us in the world at this time for a reason as you said 5 years ago in the church is different to today and 5 years from now its only going to get better. We serve as the church’s reminder that there is progress to be made and we aren’t something you can get rid, thats not what God wants. If the only change I could provide is showing up to church on Sunday in a suit and forcing those around me to accept it, then so be it. I’ve met plenty of members who have just relaxed when then realized they weren’t the only queer one here. We must simply find eachother and hold on. (ik I talk a lot about dances but its relevant trust me) I was my best friends date to prom because she was too scared to bring her girlfriend. She didn’t want people to see her different and its little stuff like that, that truly hurts me. All we can do it hope, and “fight” the harmful church beliefs that push us away, one day, someday, who we are will be seen as special, and not something to be afraid of.

[luniviravosshipper]

Can yall stop calling straight trans men gay its fucking weird

Dude it was just a joke chill.

And as a trans person myself I was kind of referring to him as “gay” more as in “queer”. I mean, I guess I can see where you’re coming from? I understand that can feel invalidating to straight trans ppl by reducing their identities to such a label that might arguably not even be fitting. But still. It’s not that common for technically non-gay LGBT+ identifying ppl to get that offended by being referred as such. A lot of ppl actually think it’s totally fine and sometimes even prefer it. Overtime, the label has become more nuanced and versatile in its applicability. And, given that he’s a fictional character and we can’t actually ask him, I’m sure his feelings aren’t going to get hurt if I off handedly refer to him as gay once.

I was thinking of actually switching his and Soren’s place in the image initially but I decided against it it in the end. Because, with all due respect towards Terry and as much as I love him, Soren does give off way more big dick energy than him.

Also, and I mean this genuinely, I was never sure if he was meant to actually be straight. I mean, it’s totally cool if he is, but I don’t know, I always kind of headcanoned him to be bi or pans.

But Jesus Christ, it doesn’t even matter lol. Idk why I’m wasting my time talking down to you and explaining a really low effort joke I made. I wasn’t thinking of the logistics at the time cuz I didn’t think I’d need to.

I just opened my inbox and allowed anon asks and honestly you’re making me reconsider that decision. I probably won’t close it, but still. Sucks that the first ask I ever gotten was just someone complaining.

Anyways, go vent about your grievances with what terminology we use for queer presenting people and characters somewhere else, not with some random user online who made a small post under 10 minutes that was very poorly edited. If you want to have a more serious discussion about stuff like that, you won’t find it by whining over some meme.

[queer-queries]

Soo, I’m not really sure how to ask this question. But I’m a *girl*, but I’ve always been a bit of a tomboy. And honestly sometimes being called a girl feels wrong, like I guess I identify with tomboy more than I do girl? But not always, sometimes I like being called a girl. Idk its weird and I’m just not acknowledging that atm

But because of my short hair and the way I dress, people often confuse me for a boy and call me he or young man. And it doesnt bother me? Actually sometimes I prefer it being called she. But I dont like when people use neutral words for me like they or person, it makes me feel bad and Im not sure why. So I guess my question is can I be a girl and use both he and she? Or at least is it okay if I don’t mind that people sometimes think I’m a boy?

Thank you in advance - 🍕

hey lovely anon! you know what, gender is very personal. sure, there are broad labels and understandings we put on it, but at the end of the day, we can't possibly put the entirety of human gender diversity into a broad general label.

for example, i get dysphoria with my chest and with being thought of as a woman, but i am 100% comfortable with the fact that i'm a girl, just in a genderqueer way. i want to be seen as a boy-girl, but i am extremely uncomfortable with the terms masc, transmasc, and boy/guy/man for myself. i want to be as butch as i can but i hate he/him pronouns for myself just as much as i hate the term 'woman' for myself, but i am not non-binary. all of this might confuse others, but it's just who i am.

i'm saying this to show that gender has fuck-all to do with how we TRY to understand it in a broader context, and much more to do with just how we personally define it for ourselves. i personally have seen hundreds of women on this site who use he/him pronouns- some exclusively, some along with other pronouns! i'm not sure if you are a lesbian or identify with that term personally, but if you are or if you're sapphic in some way, not necessarily just lesbian sapphics, then there is a HUGE history of challenging gender norms. in fact, Leslie Feinberg, one of the most influential thinkers of early American lesbian, trans, and queer activism, used he/him pronouns, she/her pronouns, and the pronouns ze/hir as well as part of hir stone butch identity!

pronouns are really personal and they can be arbitrary but my point is- yes yes yes, you can ABSOLUTELY be a girl/tomboy who uses both he/him and she/her pronouns. you can use them as alternates, use one set at a certain time and another at different times, be fluid between them, you can truly do what you want when it comes to your queer identity. i recommend this reading to everyone, but especially queer girls/queer people who identify at least somewhat with lesbianism/sapphicism/queer womanhood, to read Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg. It's truly a seminal work, and along with exploring butch identity, it is also an exploration of lesbian and trans class struggle!

if you struggle with reading, language, or anything like that, then you can let me know and i'd be happy to give you a summary of Stone Butch Blues as well as some of my favorite quotes/themes!

[afterartist]

Genuine question as someone who is actually mentally ill (and queer, unlabelled): i agree with everything u said in ur post ab labels why would u call something as disgusting as pedophilia a mental illness??

mental illnesses are debilitating, often chronic disabilities/conditions. they are not dirty and are nothing to be ashamed of. p3dophiles arent necessary p3dophiles bc theyre mentally ill, theyre just disgusting people. not being accusatory necessarily but why would u say that? real innocent ppl with mental illness dont deserve to be compared to that, unless there is a legit classification?? im not sure so yeah just wondering

TW: Paedophilia

Great question!! Thank you for asking,

Before anything, I agree, I worded that poorly and could have done a better job at explaining myself in that post,

I would also like to clarify that I myself have been diagnosed with a mental illness, as it being a Cluster B disorder I’m unfortunately used to my disorder being Vilified, so I understand how seeing me compare abhorrent actions to a mental disorder can be distressing,

However!

Peadophilic Disorder is an actual mental disorder that can be found in the DSM-5

It’s a psychiatric disorder, tho I will note Paedophilic actions and Paediphilia disorder can be classified as different things as it’s possible to hold those same sexual fantasies without ticking all the categories required for diagnosis.

But, using its status as a mental disorder is an abhorrent thing to do in of itself, as someone who is working very hard to overcome my own disorder, you should never blame actions that cause others, especially children, harm on a disorder without doing anything to remedy it, instead reach out for help, from a therapist, psychologist or even a doctor

I would also recommend you do your own research, as I don’t have or know anyone personally who was diagnosed with this disorder, thus I’m not the best source of information, if you can I suggest checking out the DSM-5 or even just a basic wiki search

Most importantly though, stay safe when searching this up

[tomsawyee]

something in the last, like, year or so has completely killed any of my desire to ever interact with A Fandom ever again, and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about it--

I used to have a notion that, even if my personal ways of interacting with the media I enjoy on a deeper level never aligned with the “mainstream” of a given fandom, I could still carve out a place to enjoy myself. But the more time I’ve spent in these spaces, the more absolutely convinced I am that they are, despite what they would adamantly insist, generally repellent to critical thinking. And I always knew this, a great deal of us always knew this, but I’ve just. Lost the ability to politely ignore it while I do my own thing, because those people inevitably find the things I make, anyway. And I still have to fucking listen to them. Because they are the majority. And as audiences churn, the core base never learns anything.

As the internet centralizes, actively contributing to this hobby community gets you labeled a Content Creator, and with that comes the mob expectation that you create content. For free. On demand. This exacerbates the perceived social divide between Creators and Consumers. People who don’t actually contribute to the body of work get this idea that they are being forced into an Out Group, when in reality, the In Groups are generally just people who care about the thing more than you and end up making friends because of it. This is particularly obvious in big fandoms. Creators are at the same time perceived as Fandom Elite while also being your unpaid court jesters.

And fandom is racist! It’s so fucking racist, and it hides it in pseudo-progressive, frequently queer language while constantly looping the same shitty excuses for whitewashing and ooc stereotyping and bending over backwards to cut POC out of the picture as much as humanly possible, REGARDLESS of what the original text says. So, so often, I go back into the source material thinking “Am I the one who remembers this the wrong way??” only to find that, no, the fandom presence for a given series will always default to distilling the text down to only its white people, then only its lighter skinned people. Characters of color are props to fandom. There is zero interest in the internal lives and humanity of people of color. Fandom would rather make a white protagonist Ambiguously Tan than pay half a mind to an actual character of color. And if you point it out, you get dogpiled by white queers self-righteously crytyping in your notes. Fandom friends and friendly acquaintances of color I meet are always the first people to burn out and leave, because being here is so consistently hostile. Of course AO3 is 70%+ white. Why the fuck would you willingly put yourself through this?

Despite this, we fancy ourselves a ‘progressive’ subculture because we allegedly care about things like ‘representation,’ a concept that has lost all meaning in a dozen different, equally infuriating ways. The delusions of a Higher Purpose, of fandom as political statement or even activism, are all the more embarrassing under this lens. The pervasive idea that fandom exists to “““fix”““ the silly, dumb “““regressive”““ source material by sanding down every single corner until it is the same featureless sphere that can be effortlessly slibbered down like every other cookie cutter re-imagining that came before it. The idea that professional writers are generally outclassed by fandom writers. Pestering creatives on the bird app worked for Glee, so now every time something happens that we don’t like, it becomes a social media moral crusade that is honestly embarrassing to be even tangentially associated with. I’m not here to change the scope of entertainment, or to keyboard warrior for some fictional characters produced by a multi-billion dollar media company that will never see me as anything but a demographic with a wallet. I’m here because a work made me feel creative. It’s not that deep.

(the more expensive the art is to make, the less likely it is to ever target “risky” smaller demographics! this is why TV and film and AAA games suck so much! if you want more textual queerness, read books!) (or listen to them!) (look up some webcomics!) (enormous media companies will NEVER be beacons of creative progress!)

So yeah I’ve come to accept that me and this world are just. Fundamentally incompatible. I’m never going to like it here, despite really, really trying for half my lifetime. I need to stop trying to carve out spaces for myself, because the percentage of people who legitimately care about critical and creative analysis of art and fiction is exponentially smaller than this community would have you think.

[csg-iii]

Was 90s Todd Rice/Obsidian Demisexual?

PS: This is just my personal perspective - not the canon one, and definitely not meant as “proof” of anything to anyone. Just sharing some personal thoughts, that’s all.

Officially, Obsidian became a queer character after coming out as gay in Manhunter #18, in 2006.

After reading the referred issue of JLA (Justice League America #100, from 1996), my personal thought was that he had a queer identity established there alredy - but a different one, as “a person who only develops sexual attraction within the context of a close emotional relationship, and who does not experience such feelings on the basis of first impressions or physical characteristics”, a concept that ever since 2006 is labeled Demisexuality, and considered part of the Aroace spectrum.

To be clear, when people say JLA “danced around the issue” of Todd’s sexuality  or treated it as just subtext, I don’t think they are intentionally trying to ignore anything. Back in 2006, and  especially ten years before that in 1996, I think almost no one would have thought a writer was trying to make a Demisexual character, not even the writer himself - I think it’s a coincidence that just happens to fit right in - as the concept is, even today, still new and unknown to many people.

Albert Rothstein: “Listen, you're... you're enjoying dating Karen, right?” -

Todd Rice: “Yeah, when I’m not waiting for it to blow up in my face”

This line also correlates to the statement “although Todd dated women, it was always a mess”. Most people don’t know that today, but Todd had a big “Samson and Delilah” moment in Infinity Inc, when his then-girlfriend revealed she was just manipulating him.

Marcie Cooper: “I nearly blew it when Northwind took off for birdland --after all the time I invested in getting next to him!” 

Todd Rice: “You’re saying-- it was all a set-up?! And you zeroed in me to take his place when Norda left?” - Todd Rice

Marcie Cooper: “Yeah-- because you were convenient-- and cute!” 

Todd Rice: “Why me, God? Why me?” 

I personally think the JLA writer took that, and decided that its consequence for Todd would shut down any attraction to anyone unless he already had a deep emotional love for them first.��PS: I’m not saying trauma is what makes people demisexual, I’m just saying what I believe the writer’s mindset to have been, and for Todd especifically.

So here comes the relevant part in Justice League America #100

Todd Rice: “I’ve had problems with women-- that doesn’t mean I “want” men! Karen makes me feel comfortable-- that doesn’t mean I “want” her!” 

To me, they’re not really dancing around any issue. He doesn’t “want” (is not sexually attracted to) people based on their gender or a first impression.

Todd Rice: “Why do I have to have a sexuality?” 

To me, that really sounds like something a person on the Aroace spectrum would say when asked about that.

Todd Rice: “Why do I have to have a label? What I have Albert-- is love!” 

We can accept Todd was simply uncomfortable with labels in general, but, repeating myself here, the label that he might have been comfortable with calling himself at this point wouldn’t even be a word for another ten years. He just has love. He loves his best friend Albert, he loves his sister Jennie and, at that point, nobody else. And yes, obviously declaring his love to Albert meant he was one of the few people Todd actually “wanted” - as in, was attracted to.

[mediaconsumernightwriter]

The Idyllic Sapphic World of Crush (2022)

Crush is not a perfect movie, not by any means, but there is one thing it gets right. It transforms our heteronormative world into a sapphic paradise. All the relationships seen in this movie (apart from the secondary couple who’s already together and the creepy relationship between Paige’s mother and the track coach) are sapphic ones. Every single girl (or non-binary person) is outwardly queer and into women. The relationships the main character is pursuing are both with out-of-the-closet sapphic women.

This is unlike anything I’ve ever seen in a movie. It’s already unusual to have a sapphic main couple at all, since most of queer media focuses on white cis gay men. But a world full of sapphics? Unheard of. It’s so hard for a queer woman (and I’m including myself in the label of “woman” simply for this example) to date, because it’s difficult to understand if the person in front of you is gay or just has a septum piercing. In this world, it’s made easy. It’s almost like it has homonormalized the world. It also helps that there seems to be no homophobia anywhere near this world.

Maybe this is why this silly little movie meant so much to me. It’s no different from other teen rom coms I’ve watched before, except for the fact that it is so gay and so unapologetic about it. Does it make some “an adult wrote this pretending to be a teenager” jokes and references? Yes, but that’s because it was an adult writing this pretending to be a teenager. I didn’t say it captured the teenage lesbian experience well, which I can’t even judge because I’m not a teenager, but it is unapologetically gay. In its approach to relationships, to background characters’ sexualities, to queer identities, etc.

Another thing that is very refreshing is that these sapphics are all out of the closet already. No one needs their big coming out moment with the crying and the self consciousness. In fact, the one coming out we do see is very easy, nonchalant and accepting. Everyone knows they’re queer and everyone is cool about it. At least now (AJ tells the story of her coming out and how her mother didn’t react at first, but it is assumed that she now accepts her).

I think pretty much everyone making out at the party scene, from the people being interrogated by the girls to the ones who start making out on top of AJ, is sapphic. Just another interesting way to build a sapphic-filled world. There’s some male looking gay people in there as well, but they are given less focus than the sapphic relationships. In the seven minutes in heaven portion, there are multiple queer couples (women loving women AND men loving men) and also multiple groups of what I assume to be polyamorous relationships. This doesn’t prove my point but I also don’t care because that’s when we get the main characters’ kiss and that makes me happy enough.

The last thing I’d like to focus on is how the bisexual character’s sexuality is not questioned in any way, especially after she’s with a woman. It would’ve been so easy for the writers to include a joke about how she was actually really a lesbian, but she stays bisexual throughout the whole thing, because that’s her identity. It doesn’t change if she’s with a man or a woman or a non-binary person. She’s bi for a reason.

For a movie that describes in the script the track team as 60% queer, it shows a lot more than that percentage of queer people and relationships on screen. It is a queer person’s paradise world, especially if you’re a sapphic person, like myself. So yes, I really like this movie a lot.

[my-strange-attraction]

Man people really do be straw-manning you and then interpreting all of your arguments in the worst faith possible and acting like that makes them So Smart And Correct. I’m sorry you gotta deal with all these bozos with zero reading comprehension or critical thinking skills. Just wanna add because it’s been seriously bothering me and I don’t remember you ever bringing it up: one of the core tenets of the original op’s post that you responded to was basically ‘this identity is bad because I’m a lesbian and those people aren’t lesbians in the exact same way as me so they’re hurting the lesbian community because I don’t want to see them when they don’t share all of my experiences and (gasp!) talk about men and their relationship to men sometimes because *I* don’t want to hear about men’ and I just. Idk man if that’s what his argument boils down to its kind of a shitty argument. Even ignoring all of the terf rhetoric (which you correctly pointed out) I can’t even begin to understand why someone would want to be in a queer community where everyone fits into neat little boxes and everyone with your label experiences their orientation exactly like you. Aren’t they forgetting that the whole point of the queer community is that larger society attempted to put us in boxes we didn’t want to be in and categorize us into labels and lifestyles we didn’t want? Why would someone ever parrot the actions of our oppressors and do that to other queer people, when they know what it feels like? I can’t even fathom being that selfish and closed minded

>your argument is chock full of straight up lies  Love how this was said in response to your rebuttal of an argument that CONTAINED ITS OWN “STRAIGHT UP LIES”!! Like pot meet kettle lol. Specifically referring to that one bit that was like “uwu bi women tried really hard on purpose to distance themselves from the lesbian community�� because that is straight up not what happened!! I haven’t said anything yet but it’s been bothering me for a while and that one ask has so much fucking Audacity that I couldn’t stop myself from Pointing It Out this time. Ahistorical bullshit and they’re accusing YOU of lying. The audacity of it all I can’t

Anyway these guys are just mad that bi lesbians get more bitches than they EVER will. I heart bi lesbians I love you bi lesbians I hope y’all stay winning mwah <3

I'm assuming these are all from the same person because of the timing? If not, sorry for not doing separate responses.

Yeah, this whole thing has been pretty frustrating to be honest. In a way it's even worse than actual terfs, because these are people who are philosophically not that different than I am, and if we met in real life we probably wouldn't even know that we disagree. I mean, I do talk sometimes about label anarchy with some of my friends, but we have to be close and you have to get me in a philosophical mood. It's really frustrating to be openly disrespected as a person for one opinion that, though it does happen to be really important to me, doesn't come up in my everyday life (or, likely, theirs either).

The whole pronoun thing really got to me too. I KNOW they were just strawmanning, and I KNOW it wasn't really a valid critique of anything I said, but the suggestion that I would even consider purposely using the wrong pronouns for someone is upsetting. I don't think he even noticed before an anon pointed it out as a way to invalidate my argument. I don't think it upset him (or the anon) as much as the anon said it did. I still apologized though because I'm not going to not apologize for using the wrong pronouns.

Also I know jack shit about history because it doesn't stay in my break but yeah actually I do remember reading about that! That's crazy, I can't believe they called me a liar when they don't know their history. I mean, I don't either, but at least I'm honest about it.

Thanks so much for sending these messages! Not gonna lie, I was going a bit crazy with all this and the only anons I was getting until now have been the hate ones that I've shared and a few hate ones that I just outright deleted. I know people agree with me because I've seen the likes on my posts, but it's nice to have someone defending me as well, so thank you <3

[sparklecriticism]

FAQ

Please read the FULL THING before sending an ask. It’s not that long I promise you. Or maybe it is I keep editing it

What’s your name?

That’s top secret, just call me Mod Polly

Pronouns?

He/him, I have others but I’m not giving myself away THAT easy

Do you hate Sparklecare?

Absolutely not, if I hated it i wouldn’t have made this blog. I just think the fandom is god-awful and that the comic has so much wasted potential. I still regularly keep up with the comic’s updates, follow the blog (alongside the blogs for Kittycorn’s other various projects), and enjoy making fanstuff for it. I am heavily critical of all my interests, especially indie projects since I KNOW those ones don’t have to go through censors and shit.

If you don’t hate it, then what’s this blog for???

This is for me complaining about the fandom, and criticizing the comic. This is essentially a diary of bitching.

I don’t like this blog

Block me, this is my personal diary of bitching. I remember I was in your shoes once, and didn’t like to see criticisms of Sparklecare, so I 100% get it.

Were you sparklecrit?

No. Leave them out of this. They clearly feel remorse for their past actions. Now me on the other hand, I feel bad about none of this XD

Are you gonna post the preboot link?

Absolutely not. I’m not going to disrespect Kittycorn’s wishes. Like I said this is only my personal diary of bitching, nothing more.

Is your main [tumblr user]?

Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?

Thoughts on mspec lesbians/gays/contradictory labels in general?

Cool as shit. Do what you want, conservatives want us dead. Polly is a bi lesbian also, she told me this herself.

Thoughts on the preboot?

It’s way funnier and way less “clean”, I’ll give it that. However, the reboot does a better attempt when it comes to characters, keyword attempt. I still miss Knot though.

Favorite character?

If I said my actual fave, I’d be given away. However, I love the side patients/side characters in general.

Least favorite character?

Uni. She’s treated by the fandom like she can do no wrong, and it feels like people only draw her. Because of this it sorta ruined her for me as a character. Sorry Uni.

Favorite ship?

Honest to god I see good chemistry/potential in all of them. I’ve never really been interested in Sparklecare shipping on its own but I enjoy doing it to analyze the characters and whatever the fuck

Least favorite ship?

Barruni. It’s the only one I see 0 chemistry or interest in, sorry. No hate to anyone who does ship it though!!

What about Cuddles?

Cuddles doesn’t feel like a character to me. He’s not interesting enough for me to hate that much. I don’t like him either, by any stretch of the imagination. I just forget he exists.

What do the tags mean?

“Fandom bitching” is for bitching about the fandom, “reboot bitching” is for bitching about the reboot, “comet bitching” is for any bitching regarding the Cometcare AU askblog, which will probably be few and far between let’s be real here, and “preboot bitching” is for bitching about the preboot because I WILL criticize the preboot as well. All criticisms/bitching will be tagged “sparklecriticism”. “Not bitching” is for general posts, and “Polly speaks” is for general posts from Polly. “Sparkleposting” is about my general, standard Sparklecare posts, usually regarding the version of it that exists in my brain. The "asks" tag is self-explanatory, and "your bitching" is bitching sent in by VIEWERS LIKE YOU!!!!!!

Are you trans/queer/nd/mentally Ill/disabled?

I’ve been a fan of this comic since late 2021, what the fuck do you think. Yes to all 5.

Will you be tagging character neg?

No. This is sparklecriticism what did you expect. I will however tag ship neg as “[ship] neg”, though you’ll probably only see that for Barruni.

Are you a troll?

No.

Why are you doing this???

I believe anything worth a damn is worthy of criticism. I also want to see if anyone else agrees with me here. Sparklecare is a spinterest of mine, I care about it a lot. It’s why I’m so harsh on it.

Sparklecare’s a spinterest for you?????

Yes, in fact the day I developed it as a major spinterest is the day I started being more harsh on it.

Why don’t you read better comics then?

I do, actually! If you wanna hear the comics I like send me an ask-off anon and I’ll tell you privately :3 webcomics in general are a spinterest of mine actually! It’s why I’m so harsh on them, because I KNOW they can be so much more!!

If you hate bitch on this comic so much, why don’t you make your own comic??

I already did, actually! I’m not sharing it to keep my privacy, but I do in fact have a webcomic! If you wanna see it, send me an ask off-anon and I might send you it in private

How would you feel if someone made a criticism blog based off YOUR comic???

I’d feel honored, honest to god. I would encourage it if you guys knew who/what the fuck I/the comic was

[redheadbigshoes]

hi again. its the anon whose sibling showed her yhe actor and now im feeling something...

to answer your question about whether thoughts about doing intimate things with him results in positive or negative reaction.... if im being honest................. its positive

and for the one about if the idea of a regular guy who looked like him proposed doing similar things with me, whether id be ok with that idea and reality happening or not.......... honestly............ the answer is yes

so i guess im bisexual. fucking brilliant. idk why that makes me sort of.... disappointed with myself. like for all the talk ive talked about rejecting the patriarcy and not playing into the stereotypes that society puts on afab people and being a proud lesbian who has no chance of ever playing into societys demand for afab people to always and only end up with men... i just have to go and be attracted to them anyway....

ugh its whatever. I'll get over all this bs. thank you for helping me brainblast though. love your blog. shame i wont be able to really respond much now that im bi and not a lesbian

Hi!

First is that labels are not always easy to figure out. Actually most of the times it’s really hard to know who you are, especially in the society we live in. You don’t have to immediately label yourself as something if you want, there’s other labels that you could use (or maybe use until you’re sure about what you are) like sapphic or queer.

Being attracted to men as a AFAB person does not mean you’re not rejecting the patriarchy, because if you’re genuinely attracted to them the patriarchy has nothing to do with your attraction. We don’t choose who we’re attracted to, and also being attracted to men doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll end up with one.

I’m glad you like my blog and I hope you know whether you identify as lesbian, bisexual, or anything else my blog will be always a safe space to vent.

[girl4music]

Also I have no problem with Erika Ishii being a radical feminist unless her radical feminism excludes transgender or nonbinary people. Which it doesn’t and it won’t because she identifies as nonbinary and goes by all pronouns. There’s no TERF-y logic in her radical feminism so I don’t have a problem with her constant activism of it. I probably won’t even have a problem with it being in the game either although I do hope they are able to keep their values and beliefs out of it for the sake of the authentic and historical storytelling because as much as I sympathise with those values and beliefs myself - I really don’t want to have to visit all of that jargon in a game that evidently isn’t made for that and isn’t true to the times of those socio-economical and political ideologies. Again, not that I don’t agree with them. I’ve made it quite clear that I do. But I don’t really want to hear all that when I’m just chilling out playing a game with such a striking cultural immersion to it. If it’s true to the times, then sure, go ahead, it could be interesting. But otherwise, no because that’s not what the game is about and it distracts from the experience.

I’ll say it again. It’s not that I do not agree with many of Ishii’s views. I definitely do I’m just not as brave as her.

Of course I wish there was more inclusivity and equality and diversity of every gender/sexuality/race of people in art/entertainment. I strive for that all the fucking time and I’m fairly vocal about it just as she is. But I’m not brave enough to constantly shout from the rooftops about it to everyone and everywhere that I can. 🫤

If it’s in the game, then I would hope it’s only in the game as long as it is true to the times. Feminism in general always has been so I doubt it’ll be an issue.

There were female warriors. Likely female samurai. Just because they were not written into the history books as written primarily by men does not mean that isn’t true.

All the other stuff about sexuality - you can only go so far with it because there was no labels for any of that. There was obviously still people that were attracted to the same sex or two sexes or all sexes but there was no clear labelling for it so you can’t use ideology of that as it is today in those times because it’s incongruous to it.

That’s all. That’s the only problem I would have with it if they were to involve representation of a queer sexuality. I mean as much as I agree with it with the Assassin’s Creed games, I do often think they go too far with it. But it’s not out of malicious intent as far as I know so I’ve never really complained over the fact I think that. I mean why complain about it when it’s not intentionally harming you or anyone? It might be an announce, it might be a frustration but it’s not actively harming. It’s just simply something you don’t like or don’t agree with. That’s fine. If you don’t like it, don’t engage in it. It’s a simple solution to problems most people don’t even think of trying because they’re that so far up their own asses to believe their own opinions matter more than the health and wellbeing of,… well…. Real people.

Radical activism that closely relates to terrorism and harmful radicalisation is when the line should be drawn.

And as far as I know - out of the little research I’ve done anyway - Erika Ishii is certainly nowhere near that level. She’s just very vocal and very adamant in her beliefs.

That’s something to respect and admire about a person. Not berate and insult them. Come on guys.

She stands her ground. She protests when and where necessary. And if her views are inspiring harassment than that’s on the person doing the harassing. Not her.

People have to realize that activism is loud and proud by its very nature because change never happens if it isn’t. It’s just easily ignored and objected to if it isn’t.

Does it belong in the game? Certainly not all of it… but some of it definitely could be used in the game authentically. Creatively. And it would be logical if Atsu is truly a badass female protagonist as she looks to be.

Some of that would be true to the times of the consciousness, the environment and the history.

If you even have a problem with it when it is true the times then maybe you need to look into why you do.