#its all shauna its all been shauna its just we dont see it bc other characters have more obvious and disturbing issues | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gayspock · 2 years ago

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OK SOMEEEE gripes

im ACTUALLY extremely conflicted on some of the present day stuff and i think its mostly down to the characters

like im very happy with jeff, and i think he's fine as is - brilliant, even, bc hes a genuinely refreshing take imo as opposed to what they could have easily done (i.e unlikable, distant from it all husband). not that he would be CRAZY or unreasonable to resent shauna, but like... its just fucking so much funnier + more interesting to me to see a character kind of just go with it, rather than to have them stew in angst. like i think its more interesting and allows for them to explore different beats than what you'd assume they would if you'd just known the basics of what shauna was up to. imo

similarly i was happy with adam as a character, too, and i think they developed him well enough for who he was and how he functions in this story. im glad he didnt turn out to be javi (if he was, i guess, bc he still could be technically that kinda suck wway more now tbh booo) and whilst there was nooo way he was gonna survive if he was just some guy which he was

theres also guys like kevyn. my jokes aside abt how scary he is im kinda fine with him, and i do actually makes some kinda sense that hes a cop + that he's now so straight-laced. some loser divorced dad. and it'd be a good comparison to natalie, and the lifestyle she lives now and how their paths diverged. however i kind of wish they'd... just let him go? like i wish he'd been at the reunion, and they'dhad that exchanged and then he'd just walked away to his wife and kids and her back to the yellowjackets no return no return no return huh what was that YEHA. my point is. i feel like there's no true resolution between them two thats organic and it just kinda feels weird to keep him around past that. i know they need a cop character for whats happening with shauna now but it just feels kinda ... bizarre to have him playing that role with that creep dude. bc whilst i do prefer limited characters in a show like this and to keep it tight and clean it just feels weird for it to be him and for it to be THAT insular AND, again, for him to keep sticking around when i dont feel like theres anywhere for him to go.... like its kinda DIFFERENT with the other cop dude, bc he isnt pre-established and he does kinda just function moreso as just. a fucking yuckhead fuckhead but instead its just this weird uhhhh. and kevyn is back! um. he will continue serving this purpose and we will never touch on him and natalie again. bc we shouldnt ofc but it also feels weird to have him there without ever mentioning it LOL

who else. fuck. like i am also very conflicted abt tai's wife and son like.... they do just feel a bit like- theyre just there? and i think that DEFINITELY makes some sort of narrative sense with tai, and with her whole deal- she has it all, she has everything but she has nothinnggg but... IDK KINDA SAD MAN. bc its weird i'll go back to this with jeff and callie, but it does make SENSE that the non-yellowjackets characters are always gonna be secondary with the story theyre telling in more ways than them just being secondary characters but with how fucking impossible it is to reconnect with fucking ANYONE after everything they did/went through BUT ITS LIKE... like i said i kinda like jeff and ironically his absolute lack of personality became a personality, whereas with simone&sammy i feel like theyre just kinda... SUPER functioning and that does kinda make me worry because whilst i know a lot of ppl are yelling for tai/van endgame... i dont know it feels weird to write them off fuckin completely which is what i feel like the show might kinda lean into at some point...😭like i want more for them, and from them. and i also sorry i also hate fucking "scary child who sees the supernatural" trope SORRYYYY its so tired to me and so lazy . give this kid some proper fucking development

and i think its also another issue im having with the present day stuff. theres too many characters rn and its being misspent. like do not get me wrong im not against quirky elijah wood BUT i feel like misty's ENTIRE. FUCKING. ARC. RIGHT. NOW. would be so much more fucking effective if she was alone and tracking down natalie by herself and kinda struggling with that. OR if they kept up her rapport with jessica- like have her tag along, whether it'd be under the guise of a fixer or not, and maybe have her cause some tension bc again if eel like.. ITS SO MUCH WEIRDER just having jessica's entire stint just come to an end in the way it did and it would have been a much more solid throughline into s2 than to bring in elijah wood whos just genderbent misty and its like . ok its just nott.... INTERESTING TO ME... SO WHAT. SHES FOUND A GUY LIKE HER? WHO CARES MAN. IM SAYING THIS AS A LITTLE FREAK WHO CANT CONNECT WITH OTHERS & YEARNS FOR KINSHIP, LIKE... I JUST FEEL LIKE ITS KINDA BACKWARDS AND REGRESSIVE AND NOTHINGGGG. jessica was a much weirder fucking dynamic and i think could have been interesting and i do think theres ways they could have had them both pursue natalie but now its just... ehhhhhh like

and i also feel like elijah wood is kinda bringing up the comedic parts of misty's story and dont get me wrong i LOVED a lot of the dark humour bits from her in s1 but i feel likw now its kinda getting too close to just. that. kinda like just oh funny joke funny dark humour. and losing a lot of the substance it should have, which is kinda necessary to the humour itself....AND he's sort of stealing her limelight like WHO CARES. GO AWAY DUUDE. have confidence in misty to be able to CARRY this shit, cmon, bc no offence elijah but SHE WAS WAY BETTER AT IT! bc thats whats so GOOD ABOUT THE SHOW OTHERWISE- you have the confidence to let all these girlies to carry their plotlines by themselves, so dont slip!!! GET BACK UP. and again im saying with the too many characters thing- its just... ehrhh. who cares to spend so much time on him??? whos just out of nowhere when its like.. again i'd prefer it if you spent that time with taissa or with .....

CALLIE. SHHES PROBABLY THE PERSON IM THE MOST CONFLICTED ON IN THE WORLD. bc in so many ways again i feel like we cant focus on her too much in shauna's little life that shes made for herself but I JUST... I CANT HELP BUT FEEL LIKE WE'RE IN THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE SPOT IMAGINABLE WITH CALLIE, wherein we dont get enough of her and her side to really empathise with her but we get too much of her to find her on the wrong side of irritating-AND THAT. SUCKS. THATS THE WORST. EVER. BECAUSE SHES LITERALLY A TEENAGE GIRL. I FEEL LIKE THERES SO MUCH MORE THEY COULD DO WITH THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SHAUNA/CALLIE IF THEY PUSHED FOR IT MORE, BUT ITS JUST... again its in this such an awkwwaarddd position where they only bring her in to be difficult it feels like. and the thing is? shes being reasonable. MORE than. shes totally justified in all the shit shes doing. but bc of the unfortunate way its framed she comes off as...... sadly.... unlikable which . again AGAIN IT SUCKS. BECAUSE SHES A TEENAGE GIRL AND THIS FEELS LIKE THE FIRST SHOW IN A LONG TIME TO HAVE A CAST FULL OF UNLIKABLE FUCKING TEENAGE GIRLS BE THE BEST EVERRRRRR AND SHE COULD BE SO GOOD MAN SHE COULD BE SUCH A GOOD WAY FOR SHAUNA TO LOOK INTO THE PAST BUTEE..... they kinda just write her off too and bring her up to cause complications obly. thats all it is. and i dont know i do get it i dooo get it bc again it makes SENSE with shauna and who she is and where her life is that the presentation would thereforebe kinda more her perspective but also... i do just feel... ITCHES. LIKE IM CLAWING AT THE WALL

ok last thing maybe idk. idk how i feel about lottie at all. its strange. i felt like she..... was kinda not present enough in s1. does that make sense ever at all. i wish we had more from her and her whole visions thing, and she had as much focus in the past as the others did from the very beginning. bc i feel like in s1... we didnt see enough of her in that regard? like we got her- we got bits of her. but not enough of her-her. bc im fine with her kinda story on paper (ish) and how its playing out but i t does feel weirdly unba;anced across s1 / s2. and its throwing me a bit there

#Egg.txt #yellowjackets liveblog

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feckyeslife · 7 years ago

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we now return to a dramatic critique of “Four” picking up where we left off. Having just finished The Initiate, I needed to take a long break before coming back to this... writing.

(side note, I somehow skipped the Son and had to go back to read that about 10 pages into the Traitor)

THE SON

- Four waxes a bit poetic about how he’s not Abnegation anymore and it kind of amuses me because he’s not really Dauntless, either.

- Max comes in to ask/encourage Four into picking Leader. The smoothness of the process makes me feel a lot better about my own Leadership training fic scenes, though the fact that it takes over a year gives me pause because it’s implied in the next section that Eric had given Four orders on how to lead training in that interrum year. So... either trainee-Eric was given some power or he finished it quicker than a year. Or continuity doesn’t matter in this collection of short stories -.- Also he TAKES the role? Whaaaat.

Putting the rest under a cut to save all y’all’s dashboards. But there’s more. So much more.

- Zeke volunteers Four to be on a double date with him and it was the perfect moment to question if Four might have possibly been not-straight, but alas.

- Alright I know I was a bit tipsy by the end of the last read-through but how have these people already forgotten / not realized that Four came from Abnegation? It feels awkward and forced in this moment bc this is literally like... not even a week after Initiation. Not enough time to have legitimately forgotten to consider that maybe he was an Abnie.

- The banter about hand-holding is lame and awkward. No 16 year old boys banter about hand-holding, I’m SORRY.

- Also Shauna’s interest in Zeke is just *yawn* like I don’t care that she’s jealous of this double date.

- Someone was in Four’s apartment and broke a drinking glass. I facepalm and wonder why a single apartment would have its own kitted out kitchen when they have a MESS HALL

- Four’s internal thoughts about Dauntless wisdom of living life without fear are actually very nice. This is the side of him as a protag that would have been interesting because it’s less self-righteous as the rest of his actions and comments in the other books.

(for those just joining us, VRoth stated that originally the series was about Four as a protag and honestly it makes way more sense. And would have allowed Tris to be a very solid side character and *gasp* even a failed love interest to show that the world isn’t always perfect and you don’t always actually work with the girl you ~have love at first sight~ with)

- The training program includes tests to see how quickly they learn and Four - and the narrative - once again one-dimensionally claims that this is an Erudite quality and therefore odd. How freaking hard is it to acknowledge that intelligence is something that the military Leadership would need? Very hard, apparently.

- Max passes out info sheets for them to fill out and it’s like My First Fascism spelled out. Very dystopian and, again, a better cue for the reader than how very straightforward the tension was with Tris’ initiation. A little heavy handed but not terribly so.

- OKAY HERE AGAIN with the inconsistencies. Earlier I made the comment about him hiding his heritage and it was flavored with OH NO THEY CAN”T KNOW I’M ABNEGATION. Here during the double date, there’s a moment where Four is asked how he met Zeke and if he was a transfer. Four thinks that he doesn’t want people to think he’s uptight and also doesn’t want to cue in about his parentage. But the feeling is so different from earlier. Naturally this means that he just straight up lies and claims to be DB. /sigh

- Nicole is conventionally attractive and as flat as a pancake, character wise. She gets pissed that Four is being a shitty date - he is - but has to walk about because he doesn’t call her pretty.

VROTH THIS IS NOT HOW TEENAGERS TALK. I’M SORRY BUT WHAT THE FUCK.

“Personality is much more important that-”

“Than my unsatisfactory looks?”

- Shauna once again is upset that Zeke’s mackin’ on a girl that isn’t her. I’m yawning and bored that this is as dramatic as VRoth thinks the background relationships can get.

- I might actually vomit the next time we’re introduced to a side character whose entire description is just LOOK HOW COLORFUL THEIR HAIR IS AND ALSO SO MANY PIERCINGS!!!!! Sidenote, this was actually Lauren being re-introduced.

- please please please dont make me read through VRoth trying to describe code. i’ll do anything. no? I have to? fine.

A) Lauren explains shit too fast, for too long, and doesn’t give people paper to even make notes. that’s not teaching that’s torture

B) Eric’s a smug jackwad about already knowing it all and I love him for it even though it’s a dick move. Remember, the last time he and Four interacted was when Four beat the shit out of him after he conceded.

C) Why the fuck would Dauntless be writing their own code to do stuff? I get that you might need to tinker with settings or whatnot, but are we honestly jumping to a world where the program to call up a security feed is something that you have to hand write or piece together to get working?

D) the punctuation that VRoth has Four paying attention to are periods (fine) quotation marks (alright) and backslashes (nope). Not a semicolon? REALLY? What language is she assuming they’re using? 65% of all my code errors ever were misplaced semi-colons or improperly nested loops.

E) apparently the only errors they’re looking for are like Baby’s First Code issues because there’s not a mention of BASIC shit like loops, defining variables, or even having to decipher the logic of any of the programs which is, you know, how you do code review.

- Ah the intruder has to do with his mother. Alright then. But why the fuck did they knock a drinking glass down? Unless they’re two unrelated break ins.

- Cameras are everywhere in the world yeah yeah but what about when Edward gets stabbed? Ah yes, getting Peter caught then would have broken the plot so clearly they weren’t in the initiate dorms.

- So here’s where there’s basically confirmation that Eric’s been an Erudite pawn all along. I don’t have to like it, so I won’t.

- Four waxes on about acknowledging that he’s his father’s son and once again it’s slightly grounding as a character and further drives the knife into my metaphorical back that he’s such an ass in Insurgent.

- Evelyn is totally Jewish in heritage. Curly haired, hooked nose. Mmm. Part of me wants to extrapolate about the outright Christian nature of Abnegation versus the other persecuted people - the Factionless - but I’ll hold off because I’m too tired to do it well.

- Evelyn pulls the same crap about the city changing and people needing to pick a side. It’s classic dystopian YA lit and makes sense if only because we’ve all already read Insurgent and seen the city make those choices. But two years before that all boiled over, its a bit... meh. The dialogue once again is very heavy on crap like “Jeanine Matthews frequents Dauntless headquarters” and other crap that people don’t actually say unless they’re writing something down or making a speech.

- SINCE WHEN ARE TATTOOS ABOUT DAUNTLESS SUPREMACY? Where is this jump in LOGIC? Ugh ugh ugh the whole Divergents-are-better-than-everyone-bc-we-know-how-to-be-multifacited narrative is horrible and lame. Suddenly there’s active call-outs that people are faction traitors and concerns that even situated Dauntless feel like they need to prove themselves. Where is any of this? It’s all tell and no show beyond the special people like Amar and Four and Tris who have already been made special by the narrative paying attention to them. If we saw someone like Lauren concerning about being “dauntless enough” I would take it with less complaint, but instead it comes off as just WE GOTTA RAMP UP THE TENSION.

- There’s talk again about “if we believe that Dauntless truly is the superior faction” then blah blah blah, Eric’s ideas for training (which on their own make sense to me). Four gets on about the actual idea of choosing values over supremacy like a normal human being. There’s also this assumption that people getting kicked out wouldn’t kind of deserve it - again, it’s a military so freaking AL should not be in it, I’m not sorry. Four makes the assumption that the “small, smart, brave” wouldn’t be able to succeed which really shows that either people aren’t being trained to use their skills - christina did fine as a small, smart, brave girl in fights - or we just needed the casual reminder that Tris and people like Tris are the special ones who manage to survive and shouldn’t have. If I were Four, I would counter Eric’s arguments against the bs supremacy ideas and also support giving proper training and evaluation so that “qualified” doesn’t only mean big and beefy. But, hey, that argument’s tough to make. His arguments hinge on the whole idealism crap and doesn’t touch real goals beyond “take out the knife throwing” which of course isn’t going to impress.

- Max has Eric leave and actually is a bit... mature in the conversation with Four? He doesn’t talk down to him and it’s rather jarring compared to the earlier conversation. Four still thinks Max just wants someone to control which doesn’t mesh with this conversation or even really with the earliest one of the section. He seemed to genuinely think that Four had solid qualities but dealing with others in power clearly isn’t one of them. Or really, dealing with Eric.

- Eric gloats, fully in the evil villain role. I’m unimpressed. He works best as Four’s antagonist, though, rather than Tris & Co’s. Another reminder that the direction of the story has always been on Four and his struggles, not Tris’.

- We get acknowledgement that of COURSE Four’s going to be a good teacher because he taught Shauna that one time (because he’s a boy and she’s a girl nevermind the fact that she’s grown up here)

- The section ends with him leaving a message for Evelyn that one day he’ll support her but not yet. After he just had this section rambling about how he chooses the middle path to be himself and find moments of rebellion against the people trying to control him INCLUDING Evelyn. Doesn’t seem very rebellious to yield to the woman who doesn’t care about you as a person, just as a weapon or a tool.

THE TRAITOR

- .”Beatrice. That name is so wrong for her.” I’m like 80% sure that this is the only time i’m gonna agree with him. But also, I feel like i remember him calling her Beatrice in Insurgent sooooo

- Tris was fragile-looking when she first entered Dauntless. Not a great descriptor but not the worst.

- Two years later and he’s still broody mc brooderson. His supervisor in the Control Room reminds him it’s alright to have fun and he literally grumbles under his breath.

- He get’s Max’s password from the security feed because Max is bad at typing. I almost want to sin that just because even if you suck at typing, you can usually do your password (esp one that’s just numbers) entirely by instinct. But maybe - just maybe - Dauntless rotates passwords and Max just sucks. Either way, meh.

- Lauren’s part of the technical staff. An interesting (re)discovery [I had read this before realizing I skipped the other part]. She helps him to get a program to mirror Max’s computer under the pretext of a prank on Zeke. I’m a bit befuddled simply because... How would Four ever prank Zeke with a mirroring program? Like, they just watch security feeds and maybe write reports? I also feel like it reflects even more poorly on Dauntless that they’re cool with pranks like that. But, then again, Dauntless is a bunch of morons according to VRoth’s POV so, I guess I can’t be too surprised.

- The conversation /chewing out by Gus is SO stilted and awkward. We already got the info dump about taking feeds out of rotation but here we get literally the same explanation as Four’s defense. A good edit would have eliminated the awkwardness. Also, Four getting called out for being shitty at his job amuses me because from Tris’s POV in the other books, he can do no wrong.

- Four gets Edward and Will mixed up in his head. These are his kids for the past x weeks and he doesn’t know who the “blonde erudite” is? Sideyeing so hard.

- Max and Four duke it out verbally over the stabbing as Four insists that it’s Eric’s fault bc the kids are so wound up. And Max gets some niiice jabs in about how Four could have a better leg to stand on if a) he stopped insulting every superior officer in his path and b) didn’t back down on the leadership role. Also a jab that, hey, you know who’s 100% at fault? The person who STABBED EDWARD!

- Ugghhh Tris is Dauntless but the faction “isn’t really Dauntless anymore.” Dude you’ve been here 2 years. You refuse to work with the current system to help it to teach the real values. Like here, where you refuse to call Tris out for insubordination - or at least WARN her that she’s getting away with it - and earlier complained about how you got bitched out for stopping last year’s fights. Figure out how to teach real lessons Mr. “Great Teacher” while following the letter of the writing.

- He also pulls the “i’m hard on Tris because she can take it” line and I’m unamused. He had the time here to actually say what he wanted to say or at least a version of it that isn’t tempered by being a dick like he claimed ten seconds ago he wasn’t with her because he “respects her.” The amount of flip-flopping could fill a beach.

- he touches her back and it addles his mind. Either his balls are that blue or VRoth is laying on the one-sided attraction a bit thick.

- I don’t remember this scene being this long in Divergent, but at least Tris is getting credit for being perceptive about things. Even if that perception is just to put Four on a pedestal of “so much better than Eric/Dauntless.” There’s also more detail about how training had ACTUALLY changed to previously include padding and not bare-knuckle boxing. Six years ago. I’m 200 pages into this short story and this is the FIRST empirical evidence that Dauntless had changed before Four got there beyond early Fear Landscaping.

- Tris calls Eric jealous and Four spends a hot second considering that Eric might actually have motives and emotions beyond cocky. It’s the best I’ll get and I’ll take it.

- Two years into Dauntless as Four “tries a Dauntless expression” to tell Tris that she doesn’t look like she’s been crying. Two years. What a friggen outsider. Again, makes sense with the previous storyline but not really in the actual story because, gee, if he’s such a good Dauntless why is he an outsider? (well because Dauntless - even the non-Erics or Maxes - is horrible, don’t’cha know UGH)

- He discovers the plans for the attack on Abnegation and claims how this makes sense because of how much Max and Jeanine hate the Abnegation. Far as we’ve seen, Max doesn’t give a single shit about Abnegation, but hey, it wouldn’t do to have a villain who didn’t hate where the protag came from.

- Please lets note how even in these scenes, Tris has displayed no actual return affection towards Four’s tiny attempts at connecting with her. It’s all about Four.

- He goes to mommy dearest about the danger of Max and Jeanine’s plans. It’s regrettably the only logical thing to do. And mommy doesn’t care. The only interesting thing about this is that this is the only scene that doesn’t present the attack on Abnegation as an attack on the poor innocent Christians. They’re shown as liars and backstabbers, supporting Marcus rather than good hearted folks helping the Divergent. It explains Four’s desire to back his mother in Insurgent rather than the rest of the city.

- We hit one moment of Tris actually responding to Four’s kindness which I feel like I need to emphasize is the only time that he’s actually said nice shit without being a tool before or after it. Weird how girls don’t like that.

- Earlier Four couldn’t remember who the Blone Erudite transfer was but he can tell from the shape of a hooded figure that Al’s the third attacker. Mmmkay.

- UGH he hates the fights but he doesn’t resent how Tris beat Molly into a pulp and beyond because she’s got tits and Eric doesn’t. It’s as simple as that. Sorry, not sorry.

- Four’s internal dialogue: I need to find someone I can trust. This girl is cute and she also beats people into a pulp when she’s upset but this will never happen again and any further rage from her will result in me telling her to stop and be a better person but this is what connects us right now so it’s okay.

- Four makes a pathetic attempt to consider reporting the assault to Eric who uses it to rightly call out Four’s inability to control his kids. Then Eric goes over the villain line again and says it’s a way to tell who the strong and the weak are. Yawn.

- Holy balls, Shauna and Zeke get brought in to be Four’s muscle and scare Peter. I get why we never saw this through Tris’ POV but you THINK it could have maybe been mentioned? Also we get a tiny glimpse into Dauntless culture as they threaten to ruin Peter’s reputation forever, etc etc. Not that any of this really matters because all Dauntless are dumb, remember? Only the special main characters matter.

- Zeke also makes a vague insinuation about Al falling into the chasm and I’m suddenly a bit astounded as the next scene is, well, Al’s body being dragged up. Four realizes he’s been a shitty instructor and a choir of angels sing “of course, you idiot”

- There’s the scene of Tris and Four after Al’s death where he attempts again to give her half answers and sideways comments that only serve to frustrate her and me. And the stupid line about pushing her until she breaks because he thinks how it doesn’t mean he wants to hurt her but it’s so CLEARLY not his actual goal in literally any of their interactions, even from his POV! Where does this line come from? His imagination?

- We flip-flop again, this time about how most of Abnegation IS actually good don’tchaknow

- There’s the re-do of the fear landscape where we go back to other-book canon where jumping off the side is all well and good because you don’t need to have a perfectly logical reaction to the landscape. Mmm. Tris is also like 80 times better than him, still. Just sayin’

- I’m again reminded of how quickly they go from one sided to barely flirting in the fear sim to touching casually and him kissing her forehead. All those subtle intimacies are just way too sudden. Ugh.

- His decision to go to Marcus is driven by the desire to protect her and I’m once again a bit nauseated by the idea that Tris has to be protected by someone. It makes sense for his character and as much as I’m nitpicking this story, it’s a better, clearer story arc than Tris’. I love Tris to death, but the story of the trilogy is not hers. It’s her dealing with the fall of Abnegation and then tumbling into Four’s family drama. Everything works WAY better from his POV (with tweaking and with her breaking up with him because I say yet again HE IS SUCH A DICK IN INSURGENT)

anywho i’m skipping the last three “bonus scenes” because I need to take a break and also not kill myself.

#Divergent #Anti-Four #Four: the book

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