#its all mshenko

[shenkospectres]

playing mass effect 3 is like excuse me while i commit genocide to tap that ass

[clericofshadows]

"...that's what I lov—appreciate about you." "I think you need more practice appreciating me. On the floor and give me twenty, Lieutenant."

[cr-noble-writes]

Title: Argonauts Series: Odyssey Fandom: Mass Effect Rating: Explicit Characters: Alex Shepard, ME1 Ensemble, Aria T'Loak, Minah Atruzea Relationships: mShenko Tags: ME1 timeline, minor character death, canon typical violence, nightmares, male Shepard, Sole Survivor Shepard, custom background, paragade Shepard

Summary: Khalisah bint Sinan al-Jilani crosses a line, Alex gets a new living space on the Normandy, and Kaidan makes a friend.

Notes: Shoutout to my beta, who by some miracle made it so I could still post today despite the fact that I sent over the chapter today after forgetting that this week was posting week. You're awesome, and I appreciate the hell out of you! It's been a time y'all.

Start at the beginning Read latest chapter

Excerpt:

At least it’s quiet when he steps off the elevator. He takes the few steps to his door, and his hand is already raised to the access panel when he remembers the XO’s quarters are no longer his. Ambassador Udina had tersely informed him that his personal belongings had already been moved.

It’s not the biggest invasion of privacy he’s experienced today, but it’s enough that whatever anxiety he’d managed to shake once again sits in the pit of his stomach like a lead weight. With a sigh, Alex lets his hand drop to his side and makes his way to his new home on the Normandy.

The Captain’s cabin is easily twice the size of the XO’s, split into an office and living quarters with a door between them. The office is austere and built to familiar Alliance specifications. The desk is built into the right wall beneath a few bare shelves. The wall ahead has an inset bookcase, which is also empty. The few print books Alex owns, and his stack of Justicar comics will never fill the space, contained as they are by a single box that sits on the desk next to a pile of datapads.

When this was Anderson’s office, the space had been used to its fullest. Alex unpacks the small, plastic container, and the contents don’t even cover a whole shelf. He slides the empty box under a corner of the desk and steps into the living quarters. Spartan as they are, they’re almost luxurious compared to what he’s gotten used to. There’s a double bed against the back wall with a night stand beside it, a large, inset armoire, which presumably already holds his clothes, a small round table with two chairs bolted to the floor, and another desk with a private terminal.

Alex’s eyes catch on the table. Sitting in its center is a scale model of Arcturus Station. During the year he’d spent training for his N7 commendation, Anderson had insisted that he, Alex, and Riley build the model together as a team bonding exercise. Between assignments and other parts of their duties, the three of them would gather at a table in the mess to work on it. It had been painstaking work, but it had effectively done exactly what Anderson intended. A year’s worth of memories, good and bad, stored in plastic pieces that weren’t all fit together perfectly and a paint job that left a lot to be desired. It would never be a work of masterful craftsmanship, and Alex would never admit it to Anderson, but he was proud of their shoddy little model of Arcturus.

[bagog]

N7 Month, 2023 - Day 8: Crash

It's a little mshenko pre-relationship drabble.

++

“I can’t believe it. I can’t believe you actually did it.” Kaidan’s tone was ambiguous to Shepard’s ear, and he tried not to imagine either mockery or genuine pathos in it.

“Sometimes I can hardly believe the things I do myself,” Shepard responded, bitter though still in Command. The two marines stood, fully armored but without helmets, on the barren expanse of an alien world—grasslands as far as the eye could see. Before them, at the base of a massive grassy mound, the Mako was lying upside down, one of its wheels still idly spinning as the mass effect field generators tried in vain to right the vehicle.

It wasn’t Shepard’s fault, not really, and he would swear it up and down. After all, it wasn’t the first time the damn thing had flipped on the rough terrain of a distant world. The fact that it always righted itself—at great strain to the field generators—had sort of given everyone the impression that truly crashing the Mako would be impossible.

“And yet, here we are…” Shepard muttered under his breath.

“Hm, Commander?”

“Nothing, Kaidan. Can we… let’s just try one more time, huh?” Shepard began to glow blue.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Wrex?” Kaidan glowed sympathetically, stiffening his posture, apparently expecting not to wait. And, honestly, Wrex had climbed out of the crash and proceeded to track off over the hills to find a quiet place to relieve himself—that had been 30 minutes ago.

“Afraid the two of us aren’t enough to do ourselves, Lieutenant?” Shepard grinned slyly at Alenko, the other man’s mouth twitched just barely into a smile.

“You know what they say about trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results…”

With that, they both tried their best to surround the Mako with a mass lowering field, hoping to give the Mako’s own field generator’s a little help.

The thing rocked back and forth, even animatedly for a moment, but they couldn’t get it to flip back onto its wheel.s

“Alright,” Shepard sighed, powering down his biotics. “Get Joker on radio, tell him we need him to find a place to land close to our position, then we’ll need a detail out here to get this thing flipped.”

“On it, Commander.” Kaidan walked off a few paces to make the call, and Shepard tried not to listen it. “…yeah. ….completely upside down… …trust me, we’ve tried…”

Shepard kneeled down and felt the grass, or rather, didn’t feel it through his gauntlets, but it seemed like it must be soft. He sat down and watched the clouds drift by overhead—something denser than earth clouds… Before long, he had laid his head back in the grass, stretched out at the base of the hill.

He lost track of time staring up before he noticed Kaidan returning.

“Joker’s ETA is 42 minutes to have us out of here.”

“Might as well take a load off. Have a seat, Alenko.”

Kaidan opened his mouth as if to say something, but then merely shrugged and lowered himself to the grass beside Shepard. They passed a long moment like that.

“Funny, we visit all these planets and I feel like I never just stop to breathe in the… air, or whatever. To take in the sights. It’s beautiful here. Probably no human eyes have ever seen it before.”

Shepard turned his head, examined the lines on Kaidan’s face as he wistfully stared out at the countryside below them.

“Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing we crashed,” Shepard said, his tone thicker with the intimacy of the moment than he had wished. The laugh lines appeared around Kaidan’s eyes and his cheeks dimpled when he smiled wide.

“That’s what I admire about you, Shepard, always seeing the bright side of things.”

“Not always,” Shepard replied softly. He continued to study Kaidan’s face, the way he leaned back on his elbows, the way the alien wind played in his hair. “I just think I’m lucky, that’s all.”

“Well, I’m happy to be out here with you, then.” For a moment Kaidan turned that warm smile on Shepard, and he felt himself beaming in response.

“Likewise, Kaidan.”

[n0rmandysr1]

Fic Masterpost

Probably beyond time I did one of these!

Mass Effect

A Sea of Stars

Series focusing on Emilia Shepard, paragade Vanguard. Ashley romance, milscifi flavour with some changes to canon because dear god Alliance ranks give me conniptions.

Main Storyline: Elysium (pre-canon, complete) | Encroachment (ME1, complete) | Respite (post-ME1, complete) | What Lives In The Dark (post-ME1 Cerberus storyline, complete) | Anabasis (post-Alchera, hiatus) | Fianchetto (ME2, complete) | Conciliation (ME2: LOTSB, complete) | Vendetta (ME3, ongoing)

Side Fics: Kingmaker (pre-ME3, written by my friend and cowriter, indefensiblezed, ongoing) | Only Light (ME1 smut, complete as its gonna get) | Points of Departure (oneshots and side stories, ongoing)

Standalone

Brothers in Arms (MShenko, complete) | Collimation (Shepard/Ash/Kaidan, ongoing) | Body Heat (Femshepley smut, complete) | perfect machine (femshepley Control Ending, hiatus) | Fragments (oneshot collection, mostly mshenko/femshepley) | The Fall (FShali, complete) | History Has Its Eyes On You: (100 word drabbles, hiatus) | The Pathology of Guilt: (femshepley, complete) | Motion (Ashley Williams/Samantha Traynor, complete) | always moving with a hungry heart (Ashley Williams/Kaidan Alenko, complete) | Folded, Unfolded (Karin Chakwas/Hannah Shepard, complete) | Navy Undercover (femshepley, complete) | Retribution (Torfan, complete) | The Right Thing (Male Shepard/Jacob Taylor, complete) | The Talk (Vetra Nyx/Sara Ryder, complete)

Baldur's Gate 3

The Prince and The Hellion

Series focused on Markolak, the Dark Urge, her quest for redemption and freedom and her romance with Karlach.

Main Storyline: wipe me clean with dirty hands (BG3, ongoing)

Side Fics: with aching chest (Karlach POV, ongoing)

Standalone:

Moonlit (Dame Aylin and Selune, complete) | the undulous heaven yearns (Dame Aylin/Isobel Thorm reunion smut, complete) | don't you know (i dream of you) (Karlach/Dark Urge grief fic, complete)

Dragon Age

All the Old Knives (Aveline/female Hawke, complete)

[swaps55]

Fugue - 17 - All The Time

Art by @eluvisen. From left to right, Corporal Muriel Aslany, Lieutenant Commander Kaidan Alenko, and Specialist Kara Pendergrass.

Pairing: mShenko

Rating: M

Tags: Angst, Grief, Major (Canonical) Character Death

Summary: Alchera, and the two-year gap.  

Chapter Summary: Epilogue

Thank you to everyone who stuck with this story. I started writing it in the fall of 2020, and it’s been the most difficult writing journey I’ve ever taken. Writing Fugue was like fighting a war, and there were many times I didn’t think I would get to the end. The story was too ambitious, outside my scope as a writer, and just too difficult to do justice. But it was very important to me, and I wanted to give it my best shot. The fact that I am posting the epilogue is in large part because of everyone who read it, commented on it, supported it, and encouraged me through it. You believed I could do it when I didn’t. Thank you for that, from the bottom of my heart.

Chapter 17: All The Time | Read on Ao3

23 October 2185, Sol System, Local Cluster, Earth, Vancouver

Light rain starts to fall when Kaidan heads back to his parents condo in Vancouver, a fresh jar of saffron tucked into his pocket that will, at least in his mother’s eyes, save dinner from being a disaster.

Shadows from the surrounding skyscrapers loom large in the quickly fading light as he heads up the street and around the corner, wishing he’d thought to bring an umbrella. The rain and wind with winter on its mind make the last eleven weeks he spent at the Villa a distant memory. Should have grabbed a better jacket.

He shakes rain off his boots as he gets in the elevator, checking his omni-tool one more time to make sure his mother hadn’t thought of anything else she’d forgotten, or worse, Pendergrass had found some way to make the oven explode in his absence. Leaving her and Aslany alone in a confined space with his parents feels like a tactical misstep, but the afternoon had passed without incident, if you didn’t count Pendergrass’ elcor sex joke. Which, given his father’s fifty year career in the military, probably wasn’t anything they hadn’t already heard.

Besides, his mother had laughed.

Light and a blast of warmth spill into the hallway when he opens the door, on the heels of Pendergrass’ laughter. The smell of the stew, Khoresh-e Fesenjoon, made special for Aslany, is enough to make his mouth water. He’s pretty sure the saffron isn’t going to make much difference in the end, but you can’t tell his mother that.

Pendergrass and his father stand in the living room, eyes on the photo wall that his mother has so carefully tended over the years. Normally his mother is the one who tries to embarrass him with old photos, but apparently his father is on duty tonight.

Kaidan kicks off his boots in the foyer so he doesn’t track in the rain and heads to the kitchen, where his mother and Aslany peer into a dutch oven. Aslany has a spoon in her hand and a look of concentration on her face.

“Not sweet enough, is it?” Kaidan’s mother says.

Aslany shakes her head. “Needs more molasses.”

“Or saffron,” Kaidan says, handing her the jar.

“Goodness, is it raining?” his mother exclaims at the sight of him. “Hang on, there’s a few spare towels in your old bathroom, and I can grab one of your dad’s sweaters.”

“I can take care of it,” Kaidan tells her with a chuckle, hand on her arm to keep her from charging out of the kitchen. “Take care of the stew.”

“I don’t know, I think Muriel’s got it,” his mother says, offering Aslany a proud grin. “Don’t think I’m even needed here.”

Aslany ducks her chin, flush building at the back of her neck. Leave it to his mother to be able to charm Aslany right out of the gate. His mother straightens his collar and smiles at him. “Thanks for running to the store.”

“Can’t have a chicken stew without saffron,” he says in mock horror. “What would the neighbors think?”

Her smile deepens, and suddenly she tugs him into a hug. She squeezes him tight before she lets him go.

“What was that for?” he asks.

“Good to see you smile again,” she says, before making a face and wiping at her shirt.

Read from the beginning | Read the rest on Ao3 | The Fugue Playlist

[rotschopf-thedrow]

Moonstruck (mShenko)

Summary: Looking at Earth from 384,400 km away makes Kaidan homesick.

@flashfictionfridayofficial prompt [#FFF193 Celestial Bodies]

To say he was relieved when they left the Alliance training facility after destroying the rogue VI would be the understatement of the year. Its last reaction had been a desperate plea for help, and it had chilled him to the bone. He wasn’t exactly claustrophobic, but he definitely felt better now, outside of the pillbox and without any murderous drones on his heels.

He walked away from the mako, leaving Tali and Shepard to their conversation. Of course, Tali was exited as hell and convinced that the rogue VI had been on the brink of achieving true consciousness. Maybe that was true. Maybe it wasn’t. They’d never find out, and somehow, he was glad.

He looked up, taking in Earth’s view and smiling. He’d visited countless worlds and moons before, especially since he’d started serving under Shepard. There had been quite a few moons that had offered a spectacular view of the planet they diligently followed and would until their systems’ sun died.

But none of the views had quite felt… This lonely.

He tried to swallow past the lump in his throat, a strange and heavy feeling settling into his gut.

Earth. He had grown up there, had family scattered across a dozen Canadian cities, and some more across the stars. On Earth, he had a place he would forever call home – no matter how embarrassing his collection of space romance novels was or how outdated the sheets on his childhood bed were. It was home, no matter how homelike the Normandy felt after all those days and weeks and months on end.

It was kind of sad that they would spend their shore leave in Luna’s capital Armstrong. He could’ve easily hopped onto one of the many shuttle flights, but he’d told himself that he could visit Earth any time he wanted. Sure, his family would’ve been more than happy to welcome him home, but he also wanted to spend time with the crew and the people who were fast becoming his friends.

He snorted. At least here in the silence of Earth’s satellite he could afford to let his tightly reigned in emotions run rampant. He looked back at Shepard and Tali who had apparently decided to grant him the distance he’d created; a distance he desperately needed now more than ever.

Shepard wasn’t easy to walk away from.

Too late he realised that Shepard was looking back at him, tilting his head the way he always did when he was analysing something. Or someone.

He turned away again, surrendering himself to the inevitable confrontation he knew was coming. It had been coming for a long time.

“There you are,” Shepard said, his voice strangely soft and quiet. “You were awfully silent on our way out.”

“Yeah.” He looked to Earth once more, taking a deep breath, or as deep a breath as the scrubbers would allow him. “You think it was already self-aware?”

“No. At least, I hope so.”

“Yeah.” He hoped so too. The last thing they needed was a true AI on their hands right now. “Yeah,” he repeated, his thought drifting to Earth and home again.

“Okay. Let’s have it. I guess it’s not about us, is it.”

Adrenaline shot through him like a fix. Shepard knew. He fucking knew and he seemingly reciprocated, and he was just standing there as if that knowledge was the answer to every NP-complete problem left in the galaxy. “No. No, that’s not it,” he replied because what was he to say after a revelation like this?

“Then what? Talk to me, Kaidan.”

“I guess.” He shook his head. What was he supposed to say? Was he really ready to tell his commander that he was homesick? That he didn’t want to go to Armstrong? That he wanted to go back to Vancouver, drink a couple of lager with his dad and enjoy his mom’s home baked double-choc cookies? That he wanted Shepard to come with him, as his partner, boyfriend, whatever? “It just feels strange to stay here on Luna and not, you know, go home.”

He didn’t know what he’d expected to happen next, but the gentle backside hug hadn’t been on the list at all. “You’re homesick.”

He allowed himself to lean back a little, enjoy the gesture even though it was a quite awkward due to their hardsuits, and deal with everything else later. Much later. Probably when his befuddled mind had finally caught up with the script. “Yeah.”

“We’ve got three days. We can spend one or two planetside, you know?”

Another dose of adrenaline washed through him. Shepard wanted to come with him. “We?”

When Shepard let him go, he felt oddly bereft of a warmth he’d only imagined through layers of armour and underarmour. It was ridiculous.

“Problem, Lieutenant?”

“Not at all, Commander. But--why”

He knew the answer. At least, he hoped he did because he felt completely out of his depth.

Shepard’s sigh sounded both amused and exasperated at the same time. “For someone with two bachelor’s degrees under their belt, you’re awfully dense. Come on. Shuttle’s leaving Armstrong Spaceport at 1500 hours.”

He stared at Shepard, noticing the smirk he wasn’t able to hide under the faceplate. Shepard had planned this. He had fucking planned this, and Kaidan would probably kill him later for that. But right now? He was happy to jog after Shepard and pull him into an awkward one-armed hug.

The view definitely didn’t feel quite as lonely anymore and he knew for certain that the Normandy would feel a little bit more like home in the future.

[sparatus]

Would you ever write a medieval (or turian equivalent) AU?

writer's would you ever

honestly if i could figure out a plot. abso-fucking-lutely, im a huge history whore, i LOVE medieval/historical aus esp for periods far enough back we don't have anybody who still remembers it (yes i'm side-eyeing that ww2 mshenko au), and for palavenian history i have the added bonus that i made it all up myself so i can go hard on the worldbuilding, yay me :)

it'd be pre-war for palaven, natch, and obv further back into pre-industrialization. obviously i'm biased and would want to visit tiirtias during its pre-republic era (before the assorted clans came together to work together towards mutual survival and formed a democratic republic), but in the interest of following the usual tropes of medieval aus it'd probably be more fun to hop back to the mainland so we can have, like, neighboring nations, lol. monarchy wasn't very common on palaven due to their strong community-first natures; only 3 nations had them, those being gaevuczh, cipritine, and vescia. cipritine was somewhat small and unremarkable before industrialization, despite their status as the oldest civilization on palaven, and vescia is a massive archipelago out in the ocean, so we'd probably want to check out gaevuczh (bird ireland, also ancestors of the colonists who formed edessan, space scotland), because they were actually a fairly major power on the mainland. they kept to themselves and were generally peaceful and content with their easily-defended mountain border to the south, but they were the only point of access to tiirtias across the xiy mnesi, making them valued trading partners if you wanted to do business with the far north, and they were a rich source of textiles besides.

.... oops worldbuilding dump, i think a medieval au on palaven with maybe valis and fedorian as gaevig nobility and des as a visiting otoran dignitary could be fun :)

[renlyslittlerose]

9 people you would like to get to know better

I was tagged by @ragnarlothcat @veloursdor @yourfavoritefridge 💕

1. 3 ships:

Obikin of course, as it's currently rotting my brain and has been for the past year and however many months. It brought me back from a period of fandom drought, so I'm enjoying once again splashing around in the fandom space

Spuffy. I will always be Not Well about this ship, whether it's platonic, they hate each other, its sexual, some weird mix of all three - whether they love each other, hate each other, can't live without each other. It's the ship that contains so many multitudes that I can't help but always be drawn to it.

Mshenko. Still have a major soft spot for this ship. *In Marge Simpson's voice* I just think it's neat.

2. first ever ship:

That title will also go to Spuffy! I was ten when season 5 of Buffy was airing, and I just hoped and hoped and hoped that they would kiss. I was bitten by the enemies to hate fucking to lovers to soulmates trope early on.

3. last song:

Deathly Hush - MORSURE

4. last movie:

Oppenheimer, I think?

5. currently reading:

My own fics in a perpetual cycle of editing 🙃

6. currently watching:

Deep Space Nine (started season 5), Malcolm in the Middle, and Ahsoka

7. currently consuming:

Tea (orange peeko with a splash of cream)

8. currently craving: Chili garlic noodles from a nearby Chinese noodle shop

I tag: @apfelhalm @boomhauer @obiwan @posthumousvigor @howlbrooklyn @treescape @vulpesarctica @lovey-dovey-and-sad @gretchenzellerbarnes and @elcaballerodragon

[satashiiwrites]

morning writing drafts

I should be working on sleepless in la. 

Big SHOULD there. 

Instead, I think i’ve come up with a name for a 911/mass effect mashup.  And been graphic editing because who wants to finish their rom com that should have been done already?  

*sigh*

Title: The First Spectre (aka previously known as untitled 911/Mass Effect space opera slowburn) chapter 1 vs prologue

Fandom: 911, Mass Effect Trilogy

Pairing: endgame Buddie (MShenko equivalent).  Assume anything else is fair game until we hit ME3 territory because i’m totally making Taylor into Miranda and Abby is going to be Liara. 

Tags/warnings: i’m still not committing to writing this monster length fic(and I do mean monster length if I go for it—like 600k of the slowest of slow burns).  In the meantime i’m evidently writing a beginning, a divorce-era horizon disaster, and can clearly picture the catalyst firing/’don’t leave me behind’ scene in all its angsty goodness. Author may be in deep trouble.  First draft.  Assume Eddie=Kaidan Alenko and Buck=MShep.  Chimney is totally Joker.  Use of military terms that may confuse some audiences and be completely inappropriate as author does not have a military background and just reads too many generation kill fics. 

Tagging because they asked @shortsighted-owl​.  If you would like to be tagged for any updates or snippets from this one please let me know. 

Lieutenant Edmundo Diaz—known to his family as Eddie or everyone else as Lt Diaz or just Diaz—sat in the copilot’s chair on the bridge listening to Flight Lieutenant Han, aka Chimney, grumble about their newest mission orders.  Eddie thought that the grumbling was mostly for show—being assigned to work under Captain Robert Nash was a coveted position and good for your career.  The Normandy (known also by it’s engineering designation as SR-118) was a new type of freighter that was a joint project between the Alliance and the alien council races. There was no ship faster or with better handling anywhere in the fleet. 

Chimney really should be happier he was getting the privilege of flying the equivalent of the most luxurious, high tech interplanetary transport ever made.  Instead, he was grumbling about scuttlebutt that he’d heard while getting his clearance physical from Dr. Wilson. 

“Did you hear who you’ll be working with?” Chimney asked Eddie, implying that Eddie should be unhappy about his new CO.  

“I heard I’d be working with Commander Buckley and there’s nothing to say.  He’s a good soldier.”

“A good soldier?!?  You heard what happened on Akuze right?  That he’s the only one who survived?”

“It means he’s capable and smart,” Eddie argued, trying to put an end to Chimney’s rant that had been going on for over a half hour.  “That’s good to have in a team CO.”

Chimney scoffed. “His entire team died except him. You going to be happy with him hanging you out to dry while he hightails it to safety?”

Eddie was beginning to think that the intel folder that had been sitting in his inbox wasn’t common knowledge as there’d just been a string of nonsensical numbers and letters as the sender’s contact information.  He’d been sent the extended—and highly classified—report on the Akuze Incident as well as the redacted official report that had been released to the press along with his official orders and a copy of Commander Buckley’s jacket. Eddie thought that Commander Buckley was lucky to have survived the first contact the Alliance had ever had with a thresher maw that had literally devoured an entire colony and then the rest of his naval special warfare unit that had been sent to investigate why the colony had gone dark.

Thresher maws were basically giant, hungry space worms with teeth the size of a small shuttle and spat acidic venom up to 3 clicks with eerie accuracy that would melt through shields and armor in less than two minutes.  If you didn’t die from the acid then you had to worry with either being eaten or crushed to death.  The damned things also hunted by noise and vibration so there was no escaping them other than getting off planet in a hurry. 

Eddie might have nightmares about incidents like Akuze.  Commander Buckley had his respect for surviving one. The fact that the commander wasn’t out of his brain and stashed in some head doctor’s padded room drooling from being drugged to the gills spoke to his mental strength and resiliency.  The rest of his military jacket was even more impressive with the noted list of assignments and commendations including that he’d graduated from the Interplanetary Combatives Training (ICT) program and was one of the rare N7s. 

Eddie’s only question was who had sent him the file—he was to be the XO for the ground team but it was highly unusual for him to have gotten this much intel up front…so who had given it to him?  It could be Captain Andersen since his name was also all over Commander Buckley’s file which suggested a mentor-mentee relationship but it could also have been the Commander himself or a third party who wanted to somehow prejudice Eddie in some way. 

He was inclined to give his new CO the benefit of the doubt and see how things went.  Paperwork often omitted some truths and as a biotic Eddie had experienced his fair share of off-the-books blowbacks and prejudices. 

Chimney, however, wasn’t.  The man was an inveterate gossip and had his ear tuned to get all the latest scuttlebutt.  Eddie had only known him for a few weeks but he knew if he needed to know anything about anybody on the ship then Chimney was the person to see. 

[johnnystorm]

people you'd like to know better tag

i was tagged by @dekarios hehe thank u fray

three ships fenhawke, mshenko, kawyll i will pick the 3 rpg romances that changed my brain chemistry <3 i love being gay

last film haunted mansion remake from 22 or 23 can't remember me and my mom watched it on halloween! it was pretty fun.

currently watching i've been watching stargate sg-1 im almost done w season 1.......

currently reading i just finished witchmark by c.l. polk, 10/10 loved it. im waiting forthe library to bring me my holds on books 2 and 3 in that series, but in the meantime im also reading mistborn book 1 by brandon sanderson!

currently consuming ffxiv as always, and currently consumed by coral island thanks to @dekarios posting propaganda and its so fun. also mom can't cook. please listen to mom can't cook its the funniest podcast of all time

currently craving serotonin........im sad today

tagging: YOU!, also, @mercurycrest, @opalarius, @galaxyghouls, @jokermoreau @kakashihours @teaviary

[pastelroyce]

Before I Go, Let Me Say This

My part of the N7 Exchange event for queenofthejungle on Ao3. They had a lot of top tier ship suggestions but I was in the mood for mshenko (rather, when am I not in the mood?) with suggestions of angst and two dudes in love. This was my take on that!

Title: Before I Go, Let Me Say This

Summary: Shepard is on his way to the Omega-4 relay, but finds himself thinking about Kaidan and Horizon.

Words: 1,397

Rated: T (language)

Relationship: Male Shepard/Kaidan Alenko

Additional tags: light angst, angst with feels

Also available on Ao3

.

Commander Shepard was approximately 5 hours away from what could possibly be the last mission of his (second) life, yet in that moment replying to a damn letter was proving to be a more monumental task. The blinking cursor on his open message terminal mocked him from his position on the bed. Another screen behind it blocked out the rooftop view port of the Normandy, the letter Kaidan sent after their encounter on Horizon.

When he read the header for the first time his heart seized, petrified into a heavy weight, plummeted into the depths of his gut and lightened into a flutter all in the span of two seconds. It took one day to open the message and another three days to read it in full. Shepard read the letter over, and over, and over again until he could read it in his sleep–which he had in a dream a few nights ago.

Horizon was a mess. Horizon was an absolute cluster fuck of a premeditated mess that Shepard didn't think he'd ever forgive The Illusive Man for putting Kaidan and the colonists through. Horizon was what fully cemented the idea that Shepard was dead for two fucking years and all of its subsequent consequences, all of the possible ways it resonated with everyone he knew.

Of course Kaidan would be the first to apologize.

As Shepard read the message–at that point it became less reading and more scanning for important points–he could still hear Kaidan in the back of his head.

"You turned your back on everything we believed in! You betrayed the Alliance, you betrayed me!"

"I loved you. Thinking you were dead tore me apart. How could you put me through that?!"

"You've changed, but I know where my loyalties lie."

His words stung but after, once heads were cooler and Horizon was in another system, they weren't unreasonable.

Shepard had been the unreasonable one.

"I can see you won't listen to reason."

"The Alliance is going to blame Cerberus, just like you did."

"You saw what happened here!"

He definitely didn't feel like he walked away from that one on top.

Shepard wanted to write back, say he was also sorry and that he still loved Kaidan, maybe even more than before. The words never formed correctly, never deemed fitting for everything Shepard felt; the fifteen drafted letters saved in his terminal was proof enough.

Four and a half hours away from the Omega-4 relay.

With a resounding sigh, Shepard pushed himself off his bed and dragged his feet to the work desk. Maybe laying in bed was the problem; after all, his most productive report writing was done at that desk so logically he should be able to write the letter there no problem. What happened, instead, was that all Shepard could think about was Kaidan back on Horizon.

“Why didn’t you try to contact me? Why didn’t you let me know you were alive?!”

At the three hour mark that fucking cursor kept blinking on the still blank screen.

Fuck it.

If the mission did go FUBAR, if there really was a chance he wouldn't see the other side, he needed closure. Real closure and not a letter he'd forget about later. With a deep breath and a prayer he dialed up Kaidan's omni-tool.

"Commander Alenko speaking." That seemed too fast, too ready but Shepard could ruminate on that later. His heart leapt into his throat leaving his vision blurry and mind just a little gone. Kaidan repeated himself, his voice seemed too far away.

"Got your message," was what came out, low and hesitant. Shepard could have sworn he heard Kaidan gasp.

It was Kaidan's turn to go silent save for some rustling in the background and an automated door sliding. Shepard stood up in the meantime.

"John," came Kaidan's voice again, "it's…"

"Just," the longer they floundered, the less Shepard felt sure about what he was doing, "hear me out, okay? Two minutes."

A deep inhale came from Kaidan’s end but he quickly gave an okay. The floor was Shepard’s. For a split second he wished he had actually planned the call, rehearsed for maybe even a second because suddenly the words were just gone. Son of a bitch…

“John?”

"I," Shepard dragged a hand over his shaved head, "I'm…also sorry. About what happened."

"John-"

"I mean it.” When in doubt, spill your guts. “Sure I got angry, and for a while I felt like I was justified in that anger but shit Kaidan, how else do you cope with the fact you've been dead for two years?!"

"I was able to do it…"

Oh.

"Shit, shit, shit, I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"I know.” Kaidan’s voice was terse, like he was speaking through his teeth. Shepard could picture it perfectly in his head, the way Kaidan’s brow was probably pinched and how hard he must be trying to not frown. Their time on the SR-1 gave Shepard time to discover Kaidan’s tells.

“I need to backpedal. Uhh, another two minutes?”

“It’s been nearly ten minutes now.”

Has it?

Shepard checked the chronometer on his omni-tool. Sure enough the call was fast approaching the ten minute mark, and almost two and a half hours until they hit the Omega-4 relay. When did making a call get so difficult?

Well, shit.

“Anyway, Kaidan, I am sorry. I’m sorry for the way I acted on Horizon, but there’s something I want you to know,” he leaned against the fish tank, “if I had it my way, you would have been the first person I’d have gone after. Part of why it took a fucking invasion of a backwater colony to see you was partly due to being stonewalled in the beginning. Then circumstances came into play, and my current mission took priority, and…,” Shepard let his eyes follow the motions of a couple of jellyfish floating in the tank, “I just…had no idea how to approach you.”

Kaidan sighed. “Higher ups wanted me to investigate Cerberus, probably because our time hunting them gave me some credibility. You and I saw the limits their scientists were willing to go, but total resurrection?

When I first heard the rumors of you being alive, I refused to believe them, but…there was another part of me that hoped you would have tried to find me. God knows I did.” As Kaidan spoke his voice got lower so that by the end it was little more than a raspy whisper. “When I got approved for the mission on Horizon I knew Anderson would keep a tight lip about it.”

“Yeah. Wouldn’t even tell me.”

“Can you blame him? Could you imagine how mind boggling it is to see someone–someone who was dead for two years–back to life and working for known terrorists? The same terrorists you killed along with them?”

Just when Shepard felt he could breathe in, Kaidan spoke up again.

“Also, you didn’t know how to approach me? What is that supposed to mean?”

“Because, once again, I was dead for two years! What if you had moved on? What if you-”

“I could never.”

The certainty in Kaidan’s voice stopped Shepard dead in his tracks.

“I tried to but I couldn’t. I loved you John, and maybe I still do. You’re still the only one who can make me feel human.” Kaidan’s voice sounded heavy at that and Shepard felt his chest tighten along with him. God damn it.

“I love you too.”

Two hours and fifteen minutes until the Omega-4 relay. Shepard swallowed.

“Kaidan,” Kaidan doesn’t answer verbally, instead gives a small ‘hmm?’, “when I’m done with this mission I swear I’ll get back to you, no matter what.” Was it an empty promise? Maybe, but Shepard knew he would be kicking himself later if he didn’t say anything. As much as his drive revoked around saving the galaxy, Kaidan was in the galaxy, so it only made sense to make him a priority. Get in, beat collector ass, get out, see Kaidan. No ship in known existence had ever made it back out of the relay; something Shepard was determined to fight tooth and nail to change. The impossible seemed less daunting with the thought of seeing Kaidan at the end of everything.

“Yeah,” Kaidan said back, “I’ll be looking forward to that.”

[cr-noble-writes]

7 snippets, 7 mutuals

Thanks for the tag @stormikins!!

I am currently working on a bunch of stuff that I cannot actually share because its for exchanges and bangs, but I've got plenty of backup material for this lmaooo no pressure tags: @nickelkeep @bleuzombie @imbiowaresbitch @rotschopf-thedrow @rowanisawriter @mallaidhsomo and @otemporanerys

Viaticum- Akuze

Report: Project Apophis Dr. Josiah Wayne 01-04-2177 I think we’re getting somewhere. The second test group fared slightly better than the first. Dampening autonomic pain responses gave us an extra three minutes before the non-biotic subject began deteriorating. More interesting, however, is the effect on the biotic subject. Subject experienced powerful, uncontrolled flares resulting in broken monitoring equipment, and lived nearly twice as long as their non-biotic counterpart. I never thought I’d see eezo nodules explode like that. Johnson will be cleaning up the mess for weeks. There is very little material left that is viable for further testing, but we are gathering as much as we are able to make further adjustments to the compound. Ouroboros is transferring the subjects they were able to stabilize back to us. It’ll give us one extra test group before we need to acquire more subjects.

2. The Ties That Bind- mShenko Vampire AU

Blood rushes in Alex’s ears. His vision blurs, and he looks down at the table. He tries to breathe, but his lungs refuse to cooperate. He trusted Kaidan. It’s like his legs have been swept out from under him. The scream building in his mind escapes as a whisper. “It’s your fault. All of it. Everything I’ve been through is because of you.” Betrayal settles like a lead weight in the pit of his stomach. His mouth tastes bitter. The world spins to a halt and closes in around him, and he needs to get out. He turns, stumbling over the leg of his overturned chair and all but runs for the door. Alex doesn’t look back, just keeps moving until he’s out of the house and into the open air of the orchard. It’s a clear night, the breeze cool against his suddenly overheated skin. Above him, the moon is nearly full, and the thick darkness of the heavens is blanketed in stars. They twist and blur in his vision as he struggles to catch his breath. He can’t think straight. Memories flit through his mind at breakneck speed. The searing pain of a brand he received at eight years old. Blood on his own hands. Years of training, fighting, killing. His mother’s voice telling him it wasn’t his fault. He chokes on them, failing to his knees. Instinctively, he spreads his fingers in the grass, digs into the soil beneath. He draws strength from nature, squeezing his eyes shut and fighting for calm.

3. I Shouldn't Hope to Know- mShenko Regency Horror AU

The front parlor of Shepard’s townhouse is eclectic. A collection of model ships, piled books, and tapestries depicting events that occurred in ancient mythologies that Garrus is unfamiliar with. It is far too early in the season for the fire that roars in the hearth; it leaves him with a sheen of sweat that trickles down the back of his neck and soaks the starched collar of his shirt. Shepard, of course, seems perfectly comfortable. It had taken some time for Garrus to acclimate to Shepard’s habit of being half-dressed when he visits, but after all the years of their friendship, he’s no longer uncomfortable with Shepard sitting across from him without shoes or cravat, his shirt untucked and unbuttoned, and his long hair hanging loose over his shoulder. He’s quite certain, however, that he will never be used to the birds. One of them—Garrus has never been able to tell them apart—ruffles its wings and coos softly, settling onto Shepard’s shoulder as he leans back with a tumbler of whiskey in his hand. The other is nowhere in his line of sight, but his eyes dart around the room in search of it.  Shepard watches Garrus silently, his free hand flexing through a tremor before he tucks it between his thigh and the arm of his chair. The intensity of his stare is increased by the way the firelight plays against his blue eyes, and Garrus sighs as he reaches for his own drink. “I take it this is not a social call.”

4. Argonauts, chapter 1- mShenko, ME1

The sharp look in Anderson’s eyes bores into Alex; he’s not going to let it go. He nods sharply and presses a button on his end of the table. The center of it illuminates, projecting an image of the clearing they’d dropped in on Eden Prime. A smattering of tall trees surrounds a pond. Between them, metallic spikes stretch toward the sky, breaking the gentle flow of nature. “You said you found these spikes all over the colony. What are they?” Alex stands and leans over the table, staring down at the image for a long moment. The creatures that had overwhelmed Jenkins—gray-skinned monstrosities covered in mechanical tubes and wiring that somehow managed to keep coming for them despite limbs twisted at unnatural angles and crushed by stone from a fall no human would have been able to survive—come from those metallic spears. He can still hear the unearthly screeching, still feel the crackling electricity emanating from their bodies. Suppressing a shudder, he says under his breath, “Sow the teeth of this dragon and defeat the army that springs forth.” A heavy silence hangs in the air as Alex looks up. Three pairs of brown eyes, all focused on him. Expectant. Even Anderson looks to him for answers he doesn’t have. Shit has only just gone sideways, and already he feels the pressure. The heavy weight of an invisible mantle of responsibility settles squarely on his shoulders. “The Geth are using them to turn our own people against us by turning them into biomechanical husks.” He pauses, taking a deep breath before he continues, “I’ve been referring to them as Dragon’s Teeth.” The four of them continue to stare down at the image, the implications thickening the tension palpably. Williams breaks the silence first. “Guess that makes us the Argonauts.” Alex meets her gaze and nods sharply. “And Saren is our Golden Fleece.”

5. Argonauts, chapter 2- mShenko, ME1

“Any chance you two could stop looking like off-duty Marines for five minutes?” Kaidan raises an eyebrow. He’s about as casual as he can get in jeans, a t-shirt, and a pair of sneakers that have definitely seen better days. Williams is similarly dressed, though her clothes are brand new. “But we are off-duty Marines.” Williams snorts and crosses her arms over her chest. “What exactly is wrong with the way I look?” “You look like authority,” Shepard says. “Authority will scare off the best source of information we’ve got.” Kaidan glances over at Williams, and she shrugs. A criminal informant maybe? “Okay, how do you suggest we look less ‘like authority’?” “Loosen up, maybe slouch a little. Stop scanning the room like you’re looking for threats.” Shepard pauses, fingers tapping lightly against his thigh. “Maybe try untucking your t-shirt, Alenko. Resist the urge to stop them from picking pockets. Do not, under any circumstances, call me sir.”

6. Argonauts, chapter 3- mShenko, ME1

“How would you assure the Alliance public that your loyalties lie with them, given both your familial background and your connection to notable crime lord and so-called ‘Queen of Omega’, Aria T’Loak?” Shepard grips his hand so hard his knuckles go white, and Kaidan moves closer. “I would say that my ten years of service to the Alliance speak for themselves.” Miss al-Jilani nods. “The service that includes an incident on Akuze in which, according to the official story, you were able to escape after the rest of your unit was killed by thresher maws?” “Sorry to interrupt, sir,” Kaidan says, turning Shepard’s attention to him. His ability to appear composed would be uncanny, except the fire in his eyes is a dead giveaway for anyone who is paying attention. “Captain Anderson is asking for you.” Shepard examines Kaidan for a moment before turning back to the reporter. “My apologies, ma’am, but I need to return to my duties.” He turns and starts walking, and Kaidan follows at his heels. “One last question, Commander Shepard!” the reporter shouts. “Do you think humanity will finally get the respect we deserve?” Shepard stops so abruptly that Kaidan has to sidestep to avoid a collision. His hands fist at his sides, and he takes a deep breath. He turns to face her, takes two steps toward her, and says, “What respect is that, Miss al-Jilani?” She takes a step back and opens her mouth, but Shepard continues without giving her time to speak. “The kind of respect humanity is looking for has to be earned. I, for one, am glad to be actually working toward earning that respect.” He turns on his heel and walks away.

7. As yet untitled Durgetash fic- BG3 act 3 and dark urge spoilers

“What a suitably gaudy home you’ve made for yourself, Archduke.” Gortash’s fingers tighten over the top of the chair, but he otherwise has the sense not to show how much the familiar voice startles him. “Nearly as meretricious as the title itself.” Gortash ignores the fear that curls in his stomach, instead allowing the slow spread of a smile across his mouth as he turns to face his uninvited guest. The tiefling lounges like a lion, lazy from the hunt, in a plush chair near the window. A sliver of moonlight glints off the purplish-black scales that mark the draconic blood that runs in his veins, and glowing yellow eyes stare with an intensity so familiar as to be nearly unbearable. Perhaps he has not changed so much as Gortash initially believed. “However did you manage to find yourself here, my dear assassin?” “For all your apparent paranoia,” Calamity begins with a graceful shrug of his broad shoulders. He flicks his wrist, and the candles on a nearby candelabra burst into flame, casting a dim orange glow across his blue skin. ��You’ve forgotten to defend against the simplest of illusions. Your tin army cannot see invisible things.”

[bagog]

N7 Month, 2023 - Day 6: Meal

It's just a very simple mshenko domestic fluff.

++

The butter hit the pan, foaming up immediately and liquifying around the smashed garlic clove with a sizzle. Turning the garlic over in the butter a few times, Kaidan tipped the pan almost on its edge so the garlic butter pooled against the side. He spooned the butter over the steak, basting it as it continued to sputter.

“Smells good.” Shepard walked into the kitchen, leaned against the counter. Given how open the Citadel apartment was, Kaidan could believe the smell woke him up from his nap upstairs.

“Smells like garlic,” Kaidan chuckled. “First step in getting anyone to sit up and take notice what you’re cooking.” He slipped his spoon under one steak, then the other, flipping each over and continuing to baste the two.

“Steak, huh?”

“Hope that’s okay,” Kaidan shrugged. “All I could find to thaw in the freezer.”

“It sounds wonderful.” Shepard yawned. “Anything I can do to help?”

“Nope, we’re pretty much done here.” He turned off the heat and removed the steaks onto a cutting board.  He opened the oven door, wincing slightly as he pulled out two baked potatoes with bare hands. “Damn that’s hot! Anyway, just need to let the meat rest a minute and we can chow down.” He looked up from the two plates he had set beside the cutting board, noticed Shepard regarding him with a soft look. “Everything okay?”

“I was just thinking about the first time you cooked for me,” he said softly. Kaidan guffawed.

“It was pretty much this, wasn’t it?”

“Except you burnt the garlic…” Shepard stood up, a sly smile across his face. “You said you were ‘distracted.’” Kaidan returned the smile, placing his hand on the side of Shepard’s face.

“I recall somebody was being a distraction.”

“Not me,” grinned Shepard, leaning in to Kaidan’s touch. “I was just standing around watching the show.” He leaned in and kissed Kaidan for a long moment. When they pulled away, Shepard wrapped his arms around Kaidan’s neck. “It was such a novel thing, having a partner that cooked for me.”

“Not so novel anymore, huh?” Kaidan held him close. “I cook just about every night.”

“I know. Just… thinking of how far we’ve come, is all.” As he leaned away, Kaidan chased after him with another kiss.

“Well this time I didn’t burn the garlic,” he rumbled against Shepard’s lips. “And I seem to recall we got up to other stuff besides just eating that first night, hm?”

Shepard grinned.

“So tonight’s not a night to savor my husband’s cooking? Is that what you’re saying?”

“You won’t hurt my feelings,” Kaidan hoisted Shepard up onto the counter, fitting between his legs and leaning up for another passionate kiss. “I’ve got plenty for you to savor tonight.”

[dumbfilmschoolkid]

Rules: post your lockscreen, homescreen, last song you listened to & your pinterests home

Tagged by: @burningblake ❤️thank youuuu

I tag: @badxwolf @angelic37 @linusbenjamin @annamess-chase @stripesysheaven @loveazepam @duskgala @writerman @bass-borot @cactme

Comment: My 56 emails are mostly from things I’m ignoring and also Dracula daily! But! They are from its first run last year🙃 I wasn’t opening the ones I didn’t have time to read and when I finally sat down to do it gmail wouldn’t load them from that far back🙃 so here’s hoping I’ll get the will to read them on pc soon (not likely). My 10 text messages are all bills. Yes the notifs reflect the mess that’s been happening in my head but dealing with them sounds worse! Obsessed with hotel California this whole week! Finally, I searched for mshenko fanart ONCE on Pinterest but now it thinks it’s all I care about in this world -had to refresh a couple times to not get sexytimes with kaidan all over

[theoriginalladya]

I posted 3,524 times in 2022

412 posts created (12%)

3,112 posts reblogged (88%)

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@theoriginalladya

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I tagged 3,487 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#mass effect - 1,022 posts

#kaidan alenko - 709 posts

#nature - 615 posts

#landscape - 561 posts

#photo - 533 posts

#mshenko - 410 posts

#commander shepard - 344 posts

#ladya writes - 267 posts

#fic recommendation - 213 posts

#reblog - 199 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#once in a very blue moon i will get my first name spelled right and then it usually shocks me so badly i need to sit for a minute! lol

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

(commissioned art of Caleb Shepard by the fabulous @dr-vauclair-art)

In an effort to try and stir the muses awake in Caleb's ME/WWII crossover world, I've been combing through some prompt lists to see what provokes them. From the 100 Ways to Say I Love You list:

Series: Something Wicked This Way Comes

Work: Keep To the West

Chapter 7: It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway." (Read in full on AO3)

Snippet:

The glass-paned windows rattled sharply as the wind whipped against them startling Kaidan from restless slumber.  Blinking through the dark, the threads of sleep reluctant to release him to the waking world, he yawned.  Something stirred in his mind – part memory, part dream, yet a reminder of something that was – and he rolled to his other side, content to slip back into unconsciousness.  As tired as he was from the last mission, it was easy to give in, and he nearly had until his arm met emptiness instead of the warmth of the body he expected. 

He's gone…isn’t he?  Lost over the side of –

Bolting upright, a surge of adrenaline raced through him, seeking and finding the weak spots within.  Panic, icy and unrelenting, chilled him to the bone and all thoughts of sleep fled.  The bedding fell in a tangled pool around his waist, restraining him, and his heart thumped wildly in his chest.  It took long moments for calm to return, for memories to sort, for reality to stake its claim once more.

Shepard…alive, returned, safe…

A soft whimper broke free of his chest and escaped his lips.  So much had happened, it was difficult to discern truth and reality from the nightmares that had haunted him for months.

It wasn’t just a dream…was it?  Shepard is alive…?

Read in full on AO3 here

40 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

#4

Had the Humblebi pattern come across my dash recently and I decided to make a gift for a friend's daughter who likes bees. Fiddled with gauge and yarn (worsted weight (Red Heart Gold) and size 9 needles) to make it a bit bigger, but it knit up like a dream. I've never done a bottom-up knit before, and aside from the struggle of counting out to make sure I had enough stitches at the beginning, it was fun! Might have to make one for myself now! :)

41 notes - Posted May 21, 2022

#3

and...voila! One Starry Night cake of yarn. The darker color bled a bit during the wash and the lighter colors aren't so bright now, but it still looks really good! Can't wait to have a chance to knit this up!

42 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

#2

(top picture: Serafina MacKinnon and Alistair Theirin)

(bottom picture: Serafina and her twin, Sean)

Was thinking about my girl earlier today, and decided to stare at the lovely art that @xla-hainex did for me for a while.

Really hoping this means she's prepared to start talking to me again so I can get back to her story over in Dragon Age. She and her twin, Sean, have a LOT to share, and if I can finally get that done, then I might be able to get back to the two of them over in Mass Effect.

45 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Happy Birthday, Commander Shepard!

See the full post

105 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →