#its a scene of gutting agency

[bitterbareface]

New post bc the other one is giving me a migraine but like yeah, you're supposed to feel hopeless. This is the correct reaction. The film succeeded. It's a horror movie and it's horrifying that the only way to end abuse is for a victim to fall on the sword and expose themselves, their pain, their trauma, their shame, because that's the only way to expose the abuser. That's the horror of the real world! Of course it's horrible in the film too.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Olga Lautman:

As infuriating and outrageous as Trump’s latest comments on annexing Gaza are, he is a master of distraction. He deliberately throws out incendiary statements, knowing they will dominate the headlines and divert attention from his dangerous actions at play—in this case, a power grab. I’m not saying Trump won’t invade Gaza—he very well might—but it won’t happen today. Right now, we need to stay focused on what is happening in real-time which is the dismantling of U.S. institutions, the seizure of sensitive government data—including our data, and the hostile takeover of federal agencies by Musk and his unelected, unvetted operatives. We must take Trump’s words seriously, but we cannot allow them to distract us from the authoritarian restructuring of our government that is unfolding before our eyes. Just as major news outlets finally began covering the hostile takeover of the U.S. federal government, questioning Trump and Musk’s actions to gut every agency and seize control over America’s most sensitive financial and intelligence systems, Trump dropped another bombshell comment to redirect the conversation—and instantly, the focus shifted. This is a classic authoritarian tactic and I have watched Russia use it for decades. Whether through false flags or controlled state media distractions, the Kremlin has long understood that if you control the conversation, you control public perception. While the world looks one way, they would consolidate power and tighten their grip behind the scenes. And right now, Trump and Musk are doing exactly that.

The Federal Government Is Being Dismantled at Blazing Speed

With Treasury payment systems, Medicare and Medicaid, intelligence agencies, and federal IT systems now under Musk’s control, the question isn’t just about political influence—it’s about them potentially preparing to loot the U.S. government and weaponizing the agencies against us. Every move suggests something far bigger is happening behind the scenes. In just over two weeks since Trump returned to power, we are already watching Project 2025 come to life. The FBI is being gutted, with at least 6,000 agents at risk as purges begin, crippling federal law enforcement and leaving the U.S. vulnerable to both foreign and domestic threats and attacks. Independent inspectors general have been purged, and USAID has been dismantled, eliminating one of America’s most effective tools for democracy-building and urgent humanitarian aid—a massive geopolitical victory for Russia and China, who will now fill the void immediately left by the U.S. as they celebrate. The Department of Education is set to be shut down, stripping away federal protections for students, gutting public education, and eliminating grant funding. Meanwhile, the CIA is now being purged, with ‘buyouts,’ which may potentially be illegal, offered to its entire workforce under the guise of “aligning with Trump’s priorities.” In reality, this is an effort to drive out national security experts who could resist an authoritarian takeover and a massive gift to Russia and every other adversary. At the same time, Musk has seized control of financial systems that handle trillions of dollars in payments. His unvetted operatives have gained access to the Treasury’s payment infrastructure, meaning they can freeze Social Security checks, federal tax refunds, military pensions, Medicare and Medicaid, and critical government funding at will. Career officials have been locked out of key systems, and government data is being copied and stored under Musk’s control, including Social Security numbers, tax filings, and classified federal records.

Russia’s Playbook: Diversion, False Flags, Crackdowns, and State Resource Theft

Russia is a master at using diversionary tactics to distract from major political shifts or internal power grabs. When the regime wants to tighten its grip, it throws out a narrative, and manufactures a crisis or scandal—either real or fabricated—to dominate the news cycle. When the government seeks to restructure power or push through major changes, it creates distractions. A foreign conflict, an internal crisis, or a manufactured national security “threat” floods the media, ensuring the public’s attention is diverted. Meanwhile, behind the scenes, major political and financial decisions reshape the country—as laws are rewritten or another crackdown is being prepared. All while, vast sums of state resources quietly vanish into the pockets of the Kremlin and its oligarchs. Sadly, we are now watching the same playbook unfold in the United States. Nearly every federal agency is under siege. This isn’t just about reshaping government or budget cuts—it’s about dismantling it from within. Law enforcement, intelligence, national security, and public institutions are being systematically hijacked and dismantled, leaving Americans more vulnerable at home and abroad as chaos spreads. And, it’s only the beginning and it will escalate.

Musk’s Control Over U.S. Systems Is the Real Emergency

While Trump dominates the news cycle with outrageous comments, Elon Musk is taking over the U.S. government from within. His unelected, team—including unvetted interns and former workers—now controls some of America’s most sensitive financial and national security systems. Musk’s team has gained access to the Treasury’s payment system, potentially giving them the power to stop Social Security checks, federal tax returns, and military pensions at will.

Olga Lautman explains that the Musk Coup of many federal agencies is the real crisis to our country.

[tulipsforyourlips]

✧˖°. i found you ✧˖°. (6)

|| the sandman x dead boy detectives ||

SUMMARY: You run the dead boys detective agency along with your two best friends. And somehow two ghosts and a living girl make it work. Until you dream one night, of dream himself.

PAIRING: dream of the endless x fem!reader

WC: 4K

WARNINGS: slight angst

A/N: okay brace yourselves ladies it's a long chapter. and slow paced too but i genuinely loved writing this chapter and showing intimate conversations between dream and her. its a slow burn after all the chemistry has to be right.

PART 6 ✧˖°.

"Morning lads," you greeted the pair sorting through the daily mail.

"Mornin- woah what happened?" Charles' eyes motioned to your hand.

What? How were your injuries from your dreams transferring into real life? Well, technically that happened outside your dream. Whatever, you had no energy to mull over the technicalities of the realm differences, that was better left to the Endless.

"Eh nothing. Just slightly cut my hand open on the bed railing."

"How did that even- you know what nevermind."

"How's Jesse doing?" You changed the subject.

The boys had been monitoring her full night.

"The demon did peek through but for like half a second. Too brief for us to use our incantations and extract him out," Charles answered. "Poor kid. Must be suffering."

You gulped down some water and nodded.

"So? I was in-"

"Hell for seventy years." Charles and you finished his sentence.

"Oi turn up the volume a bit," you said as the television screen displayed some news in the background.

"As you can see around us ladies and gentlemen, the sleepy sickness has indeed made a comeback. We have Shiara's parents with us right now who has been diagnosed with the same, just one victim out of the thousands being affected," the lady reported from a hospital.

Shit shit shit. This was bad.

"Will the number soon soar to millions like it did around a century back?" The reporter continued.

You had obviously read about it. And Morpheus himself had told you how his imprisonment had befallen this plague on the waking world.

"That's..intense," Edwin said.

You never heard Charles' reply because your brain was busy trying to comprehend what you had just heard. You needed to see Dream. In response to your plea, Matthew pecked against the window.

"I will be right back," you told the guys. "Need some fresh air." You grabbed your coat and hurried out.

Dream was waiting for you in the alley behind the building.

"The sleepy sickness is back," you said as you approached him.

"I know."

"But-I-," you stuttered, "I don't understand. I thought things were supposed to move in the healing direction after last night. Atleast not worsen."

"You are coming to the Dreaming with me."

"Right now?"

In answer, Morpheus fetched his sand pouch from his cloak. You knew he could easily transport you through his cloak disappearing trick. But he seemed determined to avoid any direct contact between you two. Except when he had bandaged your hand. Ugh not the time to be a hopeless romantic. Sand enveloped you in a tornado and took you to the Dreaming. Your heart shuddered when you took in the scene awaiting you. Ruins littered the ground everywhere which in turn bore fresh cracks. You revolved your head around, assessing the damage. You took a step back, bad idea. Your feet connected with nothing and you fell, would have if not for the sturdy arm wrapped around you. Something in your guts uncoiled, partially from the apparent death, and partially from the proximity of him. This close you could see the crystal blue of his sapphires for eyes. Loose rocks fell into the crevice, showing you your alternate fate. He uprighted you on secure ground before withdrawing his hand from your waist. That was the third time he had contacted you, willingly or not. Were you keeping track? For fuck's sake you almost fell to your death and that's the part you want to fixate upon?

Shoving your flustered state deep down, you asked, "How did this happen?"

"Honestly, I dont know," Dream spoke, "What I know is we need to take another approach, a more direct and dangerous one. It is our only shot at saving humanity." He looked down at you, his eyes imploring you to trust him and validate his decision.

Had he so little faith in you? "When do we start?"

"Tonight."

You were flopped on the couch alongside Jesse watching some lame ass family movie. The boys were on some haunted house case according to the note scribbled in Charles' ugly handwriting. On the screen, a daughter hugged her mom and you tasted a palette of emotions- jealousy for being denied what others had for granted, lonely for having no one to call your own, frustration for not remembering anything. Even though you had accepted the erasure of your past, you couldn't help but grieve who you were. Who were you? Someone who mattered so little that her family and friends didn't even bother looking for her? Didn't deem her worthy of putting themselves through the trouble.

The door busted open and Charles stormed through.

"Where's Edwin?"

"Fuck knows." Was all he said before shutting himself in his room.

Okay something was seriously wrong. The door creaked on its hinges as you opened it.

"Charles?"

He was sat on his bed, whimpering softly.

"Hey? What happened?" You asked in a whisper and sat down beside him.

He shook his head. You gave him time to gather his thoughts. "He just doesn't understand."

"Edwin?"

Charles sniffed, wiping his tears away. He took a deep breath and started, "There was this family. The husband murdered the wife and children."

You inhaled a bountiful. You were aware of his traumatizing past starring his abusive dad. That fucker. The first time he had told you about him, a rage you had never been familiar with before had tightened around your veins. If that sick brute hadn't already had departed the waking world, you would have hunted him down and done that.

"I am so sorry." You intertwined your fingers in his.

"I tried to intervene but apparently had some strong emotional response to it and got sucked into the situation itself. I am aces now-"

"Clearly."

He continued on, "but that didn't stop Edwin from yelling at me for getting involved in the first place." He sucked a breath. "I couldn't help it Hazel, I just couldn't. When I saw his ghost murder-" he choked on his words. New tears escaped his eyes and burned at the back of yours.

You cupped his face in your hands and swiped your thumbs across his cheekbones, dampening his tears. "Look at me Charles." 

He reluctantly met your gaze. "I am so sorry you had to go through that. I can't even begin to grasp what that might have felt like. That's simply fucked up. But you have to know, if there is one person who understands you, it is Edwin. He cares for you more than any other person or ghost on this Earth. The only reason he yelled at you was because he was scared Charles." You didn't release your hold on his face. "Of losing you."

Charles' eyes softened.

"He loves you. We both do."

"I know." A hint of a smile graced his lips.

You kept tossing and turning in your bed. Charles' tearstained face kept flashing in your mind. You had found Edwin at the bottom of the stairs, equally devastated at his outlash. He had explained to you what you already knew, that he was worried for Charles, of losing him. Oh these boys were going to be the death of you,  provided you survived long enough.

"You are late," Dream declared when you appeared in his realm.

"Sorry, trouble at home."

"Nothing serious," you added to erase the crease in his brows.

"I want to show you something."

"Lead the way your Highness!"

You followed him to Holy shit. You'd thought you'd toured through every phenomenon in the Dreaming, been fascinated by every miracle it had to offer. You were proved wrong as you titled your head backwards to witness the dazzling fabric of sky warping around you. When you propelled it downwards the same enchanting sight glimmered. The water was coated in the sheen of the starry night. An admiration blossomed deep in your core for the Endless standing at your side, the creator of the spectacles you had witnessed in the realm, the cause behind all your fascination. These docks just being one example, perhaps your favourite yet. After your very own dream of course.

"And this, mortal, is where the magic happens."

He extended his arms and the sea waters responded to their master's call. It roared to life from its dormant state and danced to the tunes of the Endless' hands. Spiral of waves loomed from the sea, stray droplets settling on your skin as you watched the Dream lord at work. Globes of water bounced on the ocean's surface. An assortment of objects and beings went about in their respective bubbles. In one such bubble, through its foggy exterior you recognised a dream you had gotten to trust mere days ago. And then it dawned on you, you were watching people's dreams. You were staring at the collective unconscious of the living world. There was no horizon visible as far as sight took you, the sea and the sky effortlessly blended into one entity. You were in infinity itself. Where you stood was sacred ground. And Morpheus had brought you here, to a special rendition of his soul. He trusted you. No, he had no other option but to, with the waking world now in turmoil too. Unknown to your captivated self, Dream was taking in each and every shift in your expression.

He came up just beside you. "Dip your hand in it."

You peered through the mist swathing the globules of dreams floating in front of you. Seeing your apprehension, he went first. His skin immersed the film and once he was halfway through, he rotated his head back. An invitation.

"You will be fine," he said.

"You promise?"

A thousand emotions collided in his eyes all in a fraction of a second. "I promise." And he disappeared into the globule. You followed suit and landed on your butts on solid ground. The Endless at your side who was standing on both his feet having failed to make a clown of himself unlike you, paid no heed to your graceful landing. You were on your feet in a quick motion. Butterflies fluttered their wings around you and you extended your arms for them to rest upon. A giggle left you as one plopped itself on your nose.

"What is this place?" You couldn't keep the wonder out of your voice.

"This is Fiddler's green. One of my proudest creations, I confess."

"I don't blame you." Your eyes raked past the waterfall and the pure greenery of the place.

A boy, just a child, hopped a few feet away from you.

"Why are we here?" You asked finally.

"To try our new approach."

"Dream you really have to start being elaborate."

"We need him to wake up. He has been here for a while."

"Wouldn't really hold it against him. Have you looked at this place?"

Dream looked at you. Of course he had. What kind of stupid rhetorical question was that to ask the person who had made the effing place.

"I mean it's beautiful."

He brushed past your compliment and said, "Hazel he has the sleepy sickness."

"Oh. But how am I supposed to get him to wake up?"

Nightmares weren't the only ones running wild. Dreams even as pleasant as the one you were currently in, were drifting from their original purpose to serve humankind. They used their beauty and kindness as an added advantage to lure humans into staying in a fragment of their mind forever. You'd known humans' resolve was fickle, being one of them. And provided with an opportunity to escape, no one would ever turn it down. Even the strongest wills would shatter with the passage of time. And that was why you listened intently to what Morpheus had to say.

"Invoke trust in the Fiddler's green as you did with others. Without hope, their sense of their purpose is growing corrupt. They are feeding on humanity's innate desire to run away from reality. Your trust has to fill in the void left by the absence of hope."

"What if I can't?"

"You don't have a choice."

"Dream but I- what if I am not the person for this? This was Hope's job. It was never meant to be mine."

"Will you tell his parents that they can stop visiting his bed every second of the day, quell their prayers, and say goodbye to their son because you were afraid to try?"

Brutal. But the impact was necessary. "No."

"Then the fate of the world is in your hands mortal."

No pressure then.

"Oi where are you going?" You asked Dream's retreating figure.

"This is your fight Hazel. I will see you when he wakes up."

"If you think you can just leave me here- " He definitely thought so because you were standing alone on the grassy landscape, except the jovial boy chasing butterflies.

You looked at him, airy giggles erupted from his throat. You sat down, feeling the grass beneath your palms. And closed your eyes until the beating of your heart was all you were aware of.

The dream collapsed as back in the waking world, the boy began to stir, accompanied by exuberant cries of his parents. You found yourself back on the docks, completely drenched. Beads of water dripped down from the hair sticking to your face.

"You look pathetic."

You swirled around to face the Endless who had spoken those words.

"A thankyou, you did remarkably well. Yoo hoo you are saving the world and I am indebted to you. And I apologise from the bottom of my heart which I am not even sure if I possess one, for abandoning you back there, would be nice but you know whatever," you rambled. "Wouldn't want to disrupt this whole emo vibe you have going on," you vaguely gestured to his hair and robes.

Your sour mood immediately dissolved as a smile graced his lips, his perfect cherry lips, you didn't deny it this time. An actual smile, fleeting but it was there. As real as the wind blowing through his hair, bestowing an air of ethereality upon him. A god, an Endless, who had just smiled at you.

"It's time for you to wake up mortal. The sun has already risen in your land. We have a lengthy path to walk, Fiddler's green was just one on it."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're one massive buzzkill?"

You didn't think so with the authority he owned and his general 'you dare say anything to me?' demeanour but the reminiscent twinkle in his eye made you doubt otherwise.

"Goodnight Hazel."

You were lying in your bed since you had woken up, which was seconds or minutes ago, brooding over stuff, enjoying the quiet laziness before one of the guys would barge into your room and drag you out of bed. They were late today. The faint ticking of the clock was the only sound in the room when a sudden scream interrupted the monotonous ticking followed by a loud thud. You dashed through your room to the living room where an unconscious Jesse was slumped on the carpet. Charles and Edwin were both lying on the floor next to a book on incantation and Charles' pandora's box, as you liked to call his bag of tricks.

"Oh you are alive," Charles addresses you.

"What the fuck happened?"

"The demon happened," Edwin exhaled in a breath.

"Don't worry we had it contained, like forever." Charles jiggled an opaque jar in his hands. "No thanks to you," he quipped.

"I-" You were dumbfounded. "You could have woken me up."

"Oh we tried mate, but you were sleeping 'like a log' won't do it justice. We thought you were dead for a moment."

"Or worse, that you had the sleepy sickness. But before we could assess that for certain, Charles had to pee and then Jesse got possessed so we kind of had our hands full."

It was because I was in someone else's dream you gits. But it isn't like you could explain that to them. And you did have a history of sleeping like someone who had just been introduced to the concept, so you let it pass.

"But we are obviously super relieved to see you fit and aces."

"I can see that. Charles you chose pee over me!" You cried.

"Mate it was nothing personal. It was really urgent."

Okay that was the last straw. Your hands were around his neck in a second, your knees pinning him down as he tried to wiggle free from your grasp.

"Careful with the jar, you two." Edwin said flatly, unconcerned if you would strangle the ghost.

What would happen if you did? Could ghosts die again? A part of you wanted to find out badly, but a sympathetic loser  part of you took pity on his reddening face and let go. You fell down on the space next to him, both of you heaving air into your lungs.

"I hate you," Charles huffed, his earring still dangling from the aftermath of your force.

You patted his shoulder. "Don't fret it son. I hate you more."

You were headed back to the agency with arms full from your grocery trip. A yapping Charles trailed on in front of you. Jesse had moved out, to your ghost friend's dismal and ranting about it was his way of dealing with it, unfortunately.

"And she said Edwin-that Edwin had a better fashion sense than me! Can you believe it?"

"I can."

He stopped and you took the lead. "What?" He blinked.

"Come on Charles you can't be serious. His taste is impeccable. I would have stolen his wardrobe a long time ago if he wasn't a ghost."

Passers by gave you judgmental glances, but you were used to it.

He caught up to you. "Hazel, this." He gestured to his baggy jacket. "And this." He flicked his earring.

"Yes even after this and this."

"I can't believe girls sometimes, scratch that, all the times." He fastened his pace, muttering to himself.

You brought your wrist to your hand to see the time when you got knocked off balance as someone bumped against you. Your groceries spilled out of the paper bag onto the road.

"Oh I am so sorry," a stranger's voice apologised.

You both were on your knees, gathering your escaped items.

"No it's okay my fault. I wasn't lookin-" You looked up and golden eyes met you. Wow. That was one rare iris.

"Oh shush now darling. Mistakes happen," they cooed.

You both scrambled to your feet as they handed you your bag. "Thankyou."

"You're welcome Hazel."

"How do you know my name?"

"Oh I overheard you and the boy talking," they said with an unnerving smile.

They could see him? Well quite a many people could, guaranteed that they'd had a similar bump in with death, not the Endless. You watched Charles distant profile walk on far ahead still seemingly mumbling to himself. You turned your head back to ask them if they had been in a near death incident, but they were already gone. Weird.

"Haz are you coming?" Charles shouted, realising you weren't with him.

You forsake the encounter with the golden eyed person and made your way towards your impatient friend.

Cool water lapped around your ankles where you had dipped your feet in them. The past week you'd fallen into a routine, a tedious and rewarding one, as you helped more and more people get rid of their eternal sleep. You had learned to manoeuvre the waters on your own, invading people's dreams while Dream devoted his time in mending his realm. Some days he'd join you after your daily targets and you'd both sit together, relishing each other's company. Today was one such day.

"When do we begin with the nightmares?" You had only focused on the sweet dreams till yet. Dream was insistent on it, forbidding you from trespassing through any others.

"Not yet," he said.

"Don't you ever get tired?" You asked after some time.

"Of what Hazel?"

"Of being immortal."

He raised his eyebrows at you, "Would you?"

"Fuck no!" You bit your lip. "Sorry. I mean knowing your time is always running out, does generate a new appreciation for life. But that life seems to be gone in a blink of an eye. Too brief, to leave a mark, to have your existence mean something. Time becomes the most precious and most despised instrument at play," you spoke. "But being immortal, it's-it's something else. Imagine the wonders you could witness, could be a part of. An eternity of just living, carrying the past of the world with you into the future. I like having a particular destination to swim to, but I would rather be lost in the infinite ocean, you know?"

Dream listened to your words intently. "I have a friend back in the waking world. Hob Gadling."

"I didn't strike you as that."

"As what?"

"As someone having friends. But go on."

"We met in the fourteenth century. Death and I visited this pub together and there he was, proclaiming humans could cheat death."

"What did you do?"

"Death granted him his wish."

"What?" What?  "So does that mean he is still alive?"

"Yes. In fact we meet up every century."

"Hold up hold up. The devil meeting with an immortal man in the pub, that has nothing to do with this right?"

Dream's lips twitched imperceptibly.

"Will you ever cease surprising me?"

Quiet ensued you both.

"So this Hob Gadling, does he enjoy his immortality?"

"To my initial surprise, yes. I had thought after a hundred years, he would surely be begging me to take the curse back but he seemed to consider it a boon. Even after centuries had gone by, his zest to live never died, hasn't died. He reminds me of you. Or, you remind me of him."

"Oh careful Dream lord, are you implying I am your friend?" You nudged his shoulder lightly.

"Now let's not get too ahead of ourselves."

You let out a half suppressed laugh.

"Perhaps," he said.

You titled your head towards him, "Eh. I don't think I'm ready to promote you from acquaintance just yet."

"Is that how it is?"

"Absolutely."

A shooting star dived through the sky, cutting a blaze of fire through it.

"What do you wish for Dream?"

He glanced at you.

"Come on. It appears every day without fail, in the abode of your creations. You made it. What do you wish for everyday?"

He was silent.

"And here I thought we were friends."

"I created it in memory of Hope."

That was the first time he had willingly mentioned her. 

"Do you miss her?"

He took his time to answer. "Sometimes."

You drew your feet out of the water and hugged your knees. "Well. Tragedy does birth-"

"The most beautiful things."

You looked at him to find his eyes already on you, a quiet yearning displayed in them.

"Ok mind reader," you scoffed.

"I do not posses those powers, unfortunately."

"Oh a creep then?"

When you looked at him again, his lips imitated the crescent moon in the sky on his perfect face. It wasn't like any of the fleeting twitches, no matter how treasured, he had given you before. The smile reached his cheeks. His teeth glittered under the moonlight, his skin washed in it. A weak crinkle formed at the end of his eyes. Your heart lurched in its rib cage, wanting to join another. No. You won't fall for him. You won't fall for an Endless. You won't fall for the pompous goth guy. You won't fall for him. You weren't falling for him. You weren't falling for him. You weren't falling for him. You were not falling for him. Shit. You were falling for him. 

SERIES MASTERLIST

[kens-ramblings]

okay so for background i work in first responder land, not as a first responder but my job deals with them on a regular basis. so basically here is my opinion on what kinda of first responder each of the batfam would be with little to no explanation :D

Alfred- maybe retired EMS? i know he does medical stuff with the bats so it just makes sense to me

Bruce- he’s a cop. idk what else to say he’s just such a cop and you can take that however you’d like🤨😐

Dick- 911 operator. i think he canonically was one at some point(please correct me if im wrong tho i am very slowly getting through comics) and its also one of the ones that just makes sense to me. like he wants to help but he does not want to do it on the same way B does and has always been good with people. so i feel like he’d probably enjoy it

Jason- maybe this is controversial but i’d say firefighter. like yes he died due to smoke inhalation but i also feel like he’d want to work through that trauma(bc bats can’t just go to therapy like normal people nooooo) by helping others to yk,,, not die in fires?? also it’s just another one of the ones idk how else to explain it the vibes are just there yk

Tim- I think he’d work in emergency management somewhere. like yes they are not exactly first responders and his character is a front lines guy, but we’ve also seen that he is a PLANNER. emergency management’s whole job is planning for what to do when things go to shit. plus they still go on scene as needed so he wouldn’t have to deal with JUST being a guy in a chair

Babs- i originally wasn’t gonna do her because i don’t really know her character all that well. but,,,, as i was writing tim’s i was like “oh this is also probably babs a bit ecspecially after her accident. like she was probably some sort of first responder,,, maybe cop to follow in her dads footsteps?? but also maybe not? like i said not exactly one of the characters know best,,,, but anyways after no longer being able to help on the front lines she joins gothams emergency management agency because they also help coordinate when big things happen so it makes sense to me

steph- another one i’m not super sure i know her characterization all that well outside of fandom, but im giving it my best go. i feel like she went into EMS. she spent some time with leslie and in a lot of normal capes aus i’ve read it seems like she’s always a med student so it makes sense to me

Cass- i’m actually kinda stumped on her. like realistically she could do any of the jobs she wanted because yk she’s highly skilled in damn near everything. like idk i just can’t picture her as anything other than kick ass vigilante. but if i had to choose,,,, maybe 911 operator, she could help with other languages and dispatchers really run this shit from the shadows. so final answer dispatcher i guess? but i feel like it is kinda a waste of her fighting talents but yk it is what it is

duke- he is another one i’m not 1000% on characterization, i don’t think he’s been in any of the comics i’ve read other than wayne family adventures. but anyways, my gut instinct was cop, but like in the way that he’s trying to change the system from the inside out. but then actually the whole gang thing came to mind and duke is def an ACAB kinda guy. like couldn’t stand to wear the uniform probs, so im actually gonna go with fire fighter. i also can’t really explain this one it’s just what my heart says.

Dami- he’s another one i think is a cop, but he is because he wants to be like Bruce. he starts out doing basically whatever B says but he eventually finds his own way. honestly i feel like after a stint he quits and joins like an EMS service for animals(i actually do not know if that’s a thing, but it is now) bc i think he would genuinely enjoy that and still feel like he’s helping yk?

[thatswhatsushesaid]

I mean this politely but why do you like Su She? Maybe it’s because I’ve only read the books/seen the donghua but he seems like such a non-character. Does he play more of a role in the live action adaptation or something?

hey, no worries at all! my biggest su she confession is that when i first read the book and watched the show, i straight up forgot who he was until his death in the guanyin temple confrontation. in cql, his death really is kind of a nothingburger moment for me; it happens very suddenly, he doesn't have much agency in how it all unfolds, and aside from jgy's genuinely crushed expression when he dies (the way he says "minshan!" in that moment while reaching out to him still hurts 🥺), it isn't a character death that held my attention that much.

it wasn't until i read the novel and reached his death scene there that i had a "whoa, this is su she? su 'i don't have control enough over my power to summon my sword from the bottom of a lake or avoid shooting wei wuxian in the arm' minshan?"

As expected, gurgles came from within Nie MingJue’s throat. His body turned away from the empty coffin as well. At once, he realized whom the person lying on Su She’s back was. Wei WuXian’s whistles could no longer stop him either. Like a gust of wind, Nie MingJue rushed over, his palm flying towards Jin GuangYao’s head.

Su She dodged to the side with force. With the tip of his foot he picked up the sword that had fallen to the ground and conjured up all of his spiritual energy in one thrust at Nie MingJue’s heart. Perhaps because of the dire situation, the attack was abnormally swift and ruthless. Brimming with spiritual energy, the blade glowed brightly, enveloped by swirling radiance. It was so much better than all of the previous seemingly-elegant attacks that even Wei WuXian wanted to praise its excellence. Nie MingJue was forced a step back by the explosion of an attack as well. As the light dimmed somewhat, Nie MingJue went forth again, clawing at Jin GuangYao unstoppably. Su She threw Jin GuangYao at Lan XiChen with his left hand, while with his right he sliced at Nie MingJue’s throat.

Nie MingJue’s entire body was as impenetrable as fine steel, but not the thread that stitched his neck together!

...

If the neck attack succeeded, even if it wouldn’t defeat Nie MingJue entirely, it’d still be able to save them some time. However, the sword had been infused with so much spiritual energy, due to Su She’s sudden explosion, that it could no longer withstand it. Halfway through the lunge, it broke into pieces with a crack. On the other hand, Nie MingJue’s punch landed right in the center of Su She’s chest. Su She’s splendor left as quickly as it came. He couldn’t even spit out a mouthful of blood or say a few last words, no matter with dignity or cruelty, before the life in his eyes went out.

Collapsed beside Lan XiChen, Jin GuangYao saw this scene as well. Whether because the bleeding and the pain intensified at his arm and stomach or from some other reason, the glisten of tears could be seen in his eyes.

- EXR translation pgs 1001-1002

so for me, it was reading his death sequence and realizing just how dramatically he had changed from that fumbling, mediocre, and quite frankly cowardly cultivator we meet in the first half of the novel--the guy who can't summon his sword from the bottom of a lake, who wants to sacrifice mianmian to save his own skin, who can't even fire an arrow straight--to this capable, powerful cultivator who is throwing himself in harm's way without hesitation to protect jgy, that made me want to take a second look at him. like... he's not charismatic, he's deeply resentful and bitter, the chip on his shoulder is following him straight to his grave. but he dies bravely and incandescently because he thought jgy was someone worth dying for, and that just hit me right in the gut, honestly.

anyway after that i went a little nuts revisiting almost every scene he's in in both the book and in cql, and i've blogged about my thoughts already!! if you feel like trawling through my "emotional support henchman" tag, that's where you'll find some of my other unhinged sms gushing. this is just the non-tl;dr version of why i like him, so i hope this answers your question 👍

[hotvintagepoll]

I am adoring all of these polls and gif sets and just being fed so many hot vintage people. As someone who really hasn’t watched very many classics, are there any movies you’d recommend for someone just starting to dip their toes in older media but unsure where to start?

Sure! I don't want to sway any voting, but I'll put an incomplete list of favorites that involve hot men not still in the bracket below the cut.

Something to note that applies to most of these old movies—older movies have different pacing than modern movies, so some of these might seem really slow or weird to start. There are also different ways of framing gender and agency, for better and for worse. I've italicized the ones that I think are the best for starting with, but go with whatever genre/aesthetic sounds best.

The Court Jester (Danny Kaye, Basil Rathbone)—a circus performer working for a quasi-Robin Hood infiltrates the royal court. Fun comedy that's incredibly accessible and still so light on its feet. Swordfighting, glamorous medieval costumes, court intrigues, and silly accents.

Singin' in the Rain (Gene Kelly)—fun polyamorous musical comedy. The dancing is incredible, but so is the sense of joy and camaraderie between Gene Kelly, Donald O'Connor, and Debbie Reynolds. Genuinely captures the feeling of hanging out with your best friends. 1920s Hollywood, big movie studios, backstage drama, goofy hijinks.

The Adventures of Robin Hood (Errol Flynn, Basil Rathbone)—classic swashbuckler/romance. It could read a little slow to modern tastes but the action scenes are absolutely killer, as is the sentiment of seeing little guys pull down big capitalists evil monarchs. Swashbuckling, labor activists merry men hanging out in the woods, hot men in tights, social commentary swords, a Maid Marian who really holds her own and falls in love with the socialist

Charade (Cary Grant)—thriller/romantic comedy. Audrey Hepburn's husband dies and leaves her a hidden inheritance, and she's racing some skeevy characters to find it. A little bit scary but mostly charming and gorgeous, and you can find it high quality virtually anywhere because they fucked up the copyright trademark in the opening credits. Romance, murders, Paris, 1960s fashion, chases in the night.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (Dick Van Dyke)—this movie is divisive for some reason—I personally like peace, love, and joy, so it makes the list. This is a James Bond movie if James Bond had two kids, lived in a windmill in the south of England, and was into cottagecore inventions more than martinis and racism. This is very much a kids' movie so go in with that expectation, but enjoy the gorgeous production design, the wonderfully silly performances, and Lionel Jeffries pulling out every stop as an insane old man. Dick Van Dyke has excellent DILF energy. Magical cars, big musical vibes, fun inventions, and romantic fantasy.

To Be Or Not To Be (Jack Benny)—comedy/drama. A ragtag Warsaw theatre troupe stands off against the Gestapo after the invasion of Poland. TW for Nazis, obviously, but overall this is a comedy with some heft, and kind of shocking to be this ballsy about fucking hating Hitler's guts in the 1940s. Hambone actors, Shakespeare, spies, 1930s gowns. It's been a minute since I watched it so I don't think there are any TWs here, but go forth with caution.

Witness for the Prosecution (Tyrone Power)—mystery/legal drama based off an Agatha Christie story. The performances are campy fun and the twist would be at home in something like Knives Out. Big dramatics, hambones, lots of talking, a bit of a mindbender.

The Lady Vanishes (Michael Redgrave)—mystery/suspense/romantic comedy. It's a little slow to start but roll with it—once the action moves to the train the pacing really picks up. This gets slotted as a thriller sometimes but it's much funnier and gentler than that. There's some period-typical snarkiness directed at anyone Foreign�� by some of the British characters; the British characters are also made fun of. Trains, British people, international shenanigans, mystery, and humor.

All About Eve (absolutely none of these hot men, lots of hot women though)—a legendary actress fights for her life against the rising star who supplants her. Big drama, big performances, lots of gasp! and dahling! and vicious little quips. New York, theatre pronounced theahhtah, drama queens and plotting.

The Philadelphia Story (James Stewart, Cary Grant)—talk-heavy comedy, lots of quick banter and period transatlantic accent fun. It's a bit shouty and conflict-heavy at times, but I don't think James or Cary have ever been hotter, and Katherine Hepburn is just wow. Very funny dialogue, relatable characters, incredibly hot across the board. There is one instance of a racial slur (not directed at anyone but still there) and one shove. Some people won't like the discussion of Hepburn's character's choices as a daughter and a wife. With all of these movies you'll see a a range of how female characters are presented and treated, and while some period movies fall hard for sexist tropes, I personally think the performances, direction, and subtext of many of these films actually prioritizes the experiences of the female characters and shows them as living, breathing people, even if they're not framed the way they would be today.

[theunsinkableship1]

Lukolaland, a theory part 4

Back in London, things were seemingly going well, they were truly happy, exhausted and playful. Their season was at its peak, their tour was ending very beautifully, everything was magnificent, the world was full of possibilities, opportunities were coming. Glorious! But it went south real quick. L never broke up with A, and she was there at the London premiere. And that was disappointing, for N for sure, for the Polins and Lukola shippers also. A stab in the heart, a stab in the back. It was their day, the greatest conclusion to their years of hard work and commitment. It was all ruined because the focus shifted, unreasonably or not it did. The momentum was lost. Delusional fans or not, this was the ultimate wrong move on that day. N was probably angry because it dismissed all the work they had done, and also, maybe because her heart broke then and there. Some people cast and crew included thought that it was meant to be but according to L it wasn’t I don’t think that he was responsible for the papwalk, if so, this is just stupid of him, I don’t think that a professional PR agency as his, would make such a mistake, they know that they would lose money and opportunities over it and that’s what they’re about. Maybe the 🐜or someone in her camp (she has a representation that could have thought this was a good idea) did it, it’s. very childish and counterproductive contrary to what they think it is against all her interests.at the time. Maybe it was even a jealous and spiteful friend, or even DM getting back at N. My conclusion is that the crime didn’t benefit him in anyway and the hard launched could have waited as it still hasn’t happened the day I’m writing this in August 2024. N was hurt but she is getting over this, she has been the target of A and her camp which leads me to believe that, even they don’t believe in what they are cooking and serving. Even if N and L are not together, I hope that L will outgrow this part of his life, my guts tell me that they’re not good for him. He’ll still need to find a better partner and better friends, his entourage is messy and uncaring, they’ll prove themselves to be disloyal at best. L is a very talented and sensible actor who plays Colin Bridgerton very skillfully, and he is, if we believe others like N, Jessica, LT, JB etc. a very good person. I Iove N but I also love him, people make mistakes, I don’t think that he is that dense, he knows what he feels and what he did. He knows that he messed up, maybe he was trying to do the right thing by doing the wrong thing for him. Maybe he is not ready for all that and he wants to enjoy his “brothel ‘era” He needs to apologize to N, but something tells me that he is also angry and petty about something. He may already regret it; I just want him to make sure that he will not regret it later. L and N will go back soon to their professional love, I’m sure they will be very much guarded at first, but the more time they’ll spend together, the more difficult it will be to resist to LOVE. Only time will tell, N will go with the flow and conquer as always, L will be eager to play those lovey dovey scenes and will go back to method acting in no time. I think that they’re better together and I hope they’ll both do well apart, but right now L’ actions or lack of real actions are disrupting everything. In the meantime I’m still a citizen of LUKOLALAND, I ‘m still a patron as this WH restaurant, I have my first class ticket on Air LUKOLA, I'm on my way on this LUKOLA EXPRESS, I still have my membership at this private Club and I’m certainly, still a crewmember on this ship.

[raineandsky]

#84

There’s been a new series of attacks on the city. Nothing that anyone can blame on current villains, no—this is the work of someone new. Someone crueller than the rest.

The hero can’t catch them. No one knows why. The hero always shrugs and promises to try harder when people ask. No one knows. No one can know.

A building blows up, the hero gets called in, she’s always too late. The superhero is slowly losing patience, but appearances matter—the hero always throws them her best winning smile with a pledge to bring the fist of justice down on the vigilante, and her word on it seems to calm them down a little.

Easy. Keep up appearances. Stay alert. Don’t get caught.

This is the hero’s mantra that she always repeats to herself, minutes before she gets her inevitable call to the crime scene. 

Keep up appearances. With a flick of her wrist a match lights, pushing the gloom back slightly. Stay alert. She carefully holds it to a long fuse at her feet. Don’t get caught. The light sparks, and the hero starts to make her getaway before the bomb sets off and the building collapses on her. She sets her stopwatch—three minutes. Okay.

Across the hall. Downstairs. To the main door and out—

“Fancy seeing you here.”

The hero whips back, with barely contained horror, to face the villain, leaning against a doorframe and smirking at the hero like he knows something. The hero’s insides twist nervously at the expression. “Didn’t take you for a derelict building kind of gal,” he continues casually.

“All the city is under my watch,” she snaps a little too quickly. “Derelict buildings are in my care, too, just as much as the populated ones are.”

The hero can hear the hissing of the fuse upstairs, even from here. The villain can too, from the way he tilts his head thoughtfully. Or maybe she’s imagining things and he can’t hear a thing.

She moves to get past the villain. He leans across the doorway as if that can truly stop her. It wouldn’t, but catching the villain in an about-to-be-blown-up building was not part of the plan. She fixes him with a hard glare instead. “I suggest you move,” she spits, but the villain only laughs.

“What, no time for a dance with your favourite criminal?”

He holds his hands out to her like he’s serious but she bats him away. “Leave, [Villain],” she demands, praying it sounds more like a command than a warning. “You shouldn’t be here.”

She shoves past him and he thankfully moves this time, stumbling back into the doorframe as she skirts around him. He follows her as she lets herself out the main door, and she’s distantly thankful that he’s so persistent. 

“And you should?” the villain snaps harshly. “The agency sends its finest out to wander about buildings five seconds from collapsing?”

The hero would laugh at the irony if she wasn’t so worried about how close they are to the door and how short that fuse surely is by now. She turns to him and hopes her usual heroic smugness is sitting in its place.

“If you want to dance,” she says, quicker than can be played off as smooth, “we can do it where everyone can watch.”

She turns to run but the villain catches her arm, uncharacteristic concern etched into this expression. “What’s going on with you?” he asks softly. “You’re acting weird.”

Fuck, he knows. He’s going to carefully pry a confession out of her like he’s the good guy. Okay, I’m the big scary villain everyone’s looking for! I’m the one bringing the city to its knees! Then the villain will arrest her or some shit. He’s an undercover hero. He’s– he’s going to tell the superhero, her life is over. He knows, he knows he knows he knows—

The hero’s stopwatch beeps cheerfully from her pocket, and before she can think what she’s doing she tackles the villain to the floor.

Whatever noise of surprise the villain made at the contact is lost to the deafening boom of the bomb erupting, gutting the building without a care. She can’t see it—doesn’t want to, not really—but the debris scatters across the street like a taste of the carnage behind her. She can see some of the disaster in the reflection of the villain’s widened, startled eyes—fire, smoke, and merciless, cold-hearted destruction.

The villain finally manages to tear his gaze from the mutilated remains of the building and back to the hero. She can’t meet his eye. He knows. There’s no doubt he does. She stares at where concrete is jabbing into her palms instead.

“Did you just save my life?“ His question almost sounds offended. The hero almost laughs at the unexpectedness of it.

“You’re welcome.”

His gaze flits back to the building crumbling over the hero’s shoulder. “You—” His voice catches on nerves. She’s never seen him actually scared of her before. “You did that. You’ve done all of them.”

No point in lying anymore. “I have to do a lot to get the agency’s attention nowadays.”

Something pulls at the corner of the villain’s lips, and it takes her a moment to realise that it’s a smile. Unabashed, delighted, like he’s just stumbled across a pile of gold.

“You’re on the wrong team,” he says. “There’s a place for someone like you with us.”

And, to be honest, the hero knows he’s right.

[shipburner]

Over two years ago, I was inspired by @transhitman's personal Disco Elysium Skill project to make my own Disco Elysium Skills. Today, I am proud to present my own take on the idea, the Internal Family Skills, having finally gotten my brain in gear enough to finish it in a showable capacity. This isn't the final form of the project, but I'd need to learn CSS to make a full fake menu on my Neocities, and a new tablet to make the Skills as painterly as the game's art style (which I might not do, since this style is basically what the inside of my brain looks like).

We're starting off with the Manager (MGR) Attribute: Your capacity to present sufficient normalcy and interact with the people around you. Its six Skills are:

Bureaucracy

Disguise

Distress Tolerance

Hiya

Pakikiramdam

White-Passing

[ Firefighter | Exile | Self ]

Bureaucracy

Understand process and procedure. Pull on the levers available to the public.

COOL FOR: Pencil-Pushers, Concerned Citizens, The Maliciously Compliant

Bureaucracy is what humans use for detailed communication in place of emotional honesty. This is not, in fact, an imposition -- rather, it allows for smooth cooperation and organization at large scale without the superior's scorn or the inferior's resentment getting in the way. Your Bureaucracy skill familiarizes you with paperwork and precedent, assures that the powerful view you as properly compliant, extracts assistance from systems that don't care about you as a person, and teaches you how to work to rule.

At high levels, Bureaucracy lets you navigate hierarchies, provide and access information easily, and fill in gaps in existing procedure where there is none. It'll also make you a fussy, obstinate smartass who refuses to participate with anyone emotionally or act without structure. At low levels, however, you'll be adrift in a paper sea designed to silence, exhaust, and oppress you.

Disguise

Manipulate with masks. Fit yourself into palatable forms.

COOL FOR: Changeling Children, Sociopathic Butterflies, Emotional Laborers

Disguise wants you to know that if you can't be yourself, it's always okay to be someone else. As your handy-dandy superficial charm, Disguise feeds you the lines necessary for a given situation: Need to act mindful and demure at work when you're imagining gutting your manager like a fish? Disguise is already on it. Want to seem like a problem-solving super-genius when you're actually in the middle of cybersex? Disguise is running the social buffer. Trying to avoid telling the truth to your parents or scaring the hoes at the local queer scene? Got. You. Covered.

At high levels, Disguise makes you terrified of failing to live up to your image, to the extent that you'll partition off your life into different personas. You won't be tempted to become any of the masks, but by God will you not take any of them off. At low levels, though, you'll have to take all the lumps that come with never telling anybody what they want to hear.

Distress Tolerance

Endure immediate pain for long-term gain. Stay in the trap to remove the one who set it.

COOL FOR: Forward-thinkers, Sensitive Souls, Cluster Bs

Distress Tolerance is your lexicon of adaptive coping mechanisms. It snaps into action when the world is painful and unfair, identifying pain relief and things you can control. Distress Tolerance reminds you to go for a walk instead of lying in bed, to spend time with people you love instead of fighting online, and to box breathe instead of hiding in a cabinet and sobbing. It also helps you keep your goals in mind: the point of enduring the pain is to avoid hurting people and to have a better life in the future.

At high levels, Distress Tolerance makes you hyper-sane, and thus hypernormal. You'll fall victim to the seductions of personal responsibility, assuming that it's simply your duty to put up with the world's iniquities. Without it, though, you'll be a panicking woman-child ignorant of her own agency, unable to do anything about those iniquities but lash out at the people who love you.

Hiya

Feel shame yourself. Anticipate shame in others.

COOL FOR: Overton Glaziers, Panopticon Inhabitants, Human Dignity Enjoyers

Hiya isn't the cop inside your head, it's the patriarch -- instead of trying to shoot you when you've deviated from the accepted standards of behavior for a given community, it just makes you feel fundamentally unlikable and helpless. This isn't entirely a bad thing, since the accepted standards of behavior frequently involve putting others first so you don't make them feel fundamentally unlikable and helpless. That said, while Hiya teaches you that standards of behavior can change, the only tool it gives you to accomplish that is the cattle prod called "shame".

At high levels, Hiya makes you socially invulnerable -- because you don't do anything objectionable in the first place. Not only will you be self-sacrificingly afraid of being deemed deviant, you'll cringe and withdraw when others embarrass themselves regardless -- and you'll enforce shame yourself to make the cringing stop. Without it, though, you'll literally be walang hiya: a shameless, self-gratifying boob incapable of thinking about others' feelings.

Pakikiramdam

Understand that others’ needs are different. Find out what they are.

COOL FOR: Relationship-Builders, Active Listeners, Safety Tool Users

Pakikiramdam feels out everything that isn't explicitly said. It's a Skill of social moderation formed through trial and error -- knowing what will tickle someone's funny bone, whether acquiescence is hiding upset, and whether they see a given action as common courtesy or a true effort. Pakikiramdam creates models of others' internal states to better foster and maintain kapwa; to this end, it reminds you to check in, slow down, and look at the conversation from outside so you're on the same page about what's going on.

At high levels, Pakikiramdam will make you truly empathetic and understanding -- as long as people can stomach you being a busybody who demands adult communication and introspection about their wants at the drop of a hat. Too low, however, and you'll simply barge through situations assuming you already know what everyone wants, giving you no chance to build empathy in the first place.

White-Passing

Defend yourself and get away with it. Recognize and use what authority you have.

COOL FOR: Egotists, Dissatisfied Customers, Fifth Columnists

You are the phenotypical expression of a multigenerational effort to make you and your desires untouchable in any social situation. White-Passing measures your ability to live up to that standard: Can you talk over people in a meeting to make your point heard? Can you talk to a cop like he's a brave and dignified defender of your security? Can you justify the entire extractive supply chain in order to demand a better customer service experience?

At high levels, White-Passing will get you what you want, and getting what you want will reinforce the rightness of your power. Not only will this make you an entitled little martinet claiming power you lack, it'll chain you to the structures that have given you what power you have. But without it, you won't even be able to get past the cop in your own head, let alone the ones outside it, and you'll make a cult of your own disenfranchisement.

Notes:

Bureaucracy's ear-thingies are a reference to Intergalactic Advocate Bob from Jupiter Ascending.

The mask Disguise is wearing is based on Caves of Qud's gentling mask.

Thanks is due to Jeremiah Reyes' 2015 article "Loób and Kapwa: An Introduction to a Filipino Virtue Ethics", which was instrumental in me figuring out how exactly my lolo's ethics filtered through my dad to me, for good and for ill.

[cosmiccowboystuddies]

the sunshine court notes

first things first riko needed to be brutally beaten to death, a shot was too quick

renee talked like a fortune cookie and it was pissing me off

i wish we got more of Wymack and Jean, it was very nice of him to get on the plane with Jean

jean immediately getting annoyed with basic life is really funny

jean is also really sassy and hilarious

also something weird happened in jeremeys house

my personally theory is that he had a sibling who died and his family thinks its his fault

like maybe an accident or maybe the sibling overheard something that they weren't supposed to and his sibling had to die as a result

whatever happened the butler knows about it and is trying to protect him

and whatever happened had to be bad because the act of dying his hair had his family ban him from the dinner table

neil believing his relationship with andrew as a strength his really good for his character, considering his mom was so keen on him not forming any connections

the fact that jean actually considered reaching out to his sister, only for him to learn that she was dead breaks me every time

and neil using her to force him into a belief that he doesn't deserve to belong to anyone but himself was a necessary cruelty.

i also like that Jeremey was the one who telling him about Rikos death was good

jean has no agency in the entire 1st act of the book, he is taken from the nest and basically held captive, then he is forced to go to the sunshine court, which he doesn't like but has to

the foxes all hide info from jean for his own good

and jeremey being the one to tell him is nice because jeremey is his first taste of freedom

jean talking about his abuse in such a casual manner is horrifying bc he thinks its so normal and its horrifying

" i didn't ask" broke me in so many ways because Jean doesn't particularly trust jeremey at the time, nor did it slip out while he was angry, he just said it so casually like it was normal

At first i felt bad for Lucas, but not so much anymore.

he was a sympathetic character who was trying to straddle a thin line of having faith in his captain and who he belives is a violent stranger and his brother who is not the same boy he know

but bringing Greyson to jean was soo fucking stupid it pisses me off

and the fact that jean wasn't even really fighting back, just trying to protect himself is upsetting

also the imagery of him punching the keypad over and over again just trying to get out is gutting

jean isn't a dog who bites, he's a dog who puts his foot to the fire because he believes that he is supposed to do

the water scene was sad as well because he was trying so hard to behave but physically could not

also Jeremey and really most people on the team meet his violence with unflinching kindness is really sweet

i also appreciate how jeremey doesn't force jean to talk about his trauma or even takes the notes from him, jean has had little to no control in his life since he was 15 and forcing him to talk about it when he wasn't ready would have made it worse

and jean asking jeremey to pretend was sweet and what was even sweeter when he did

jean learning to cook is nice as well because he needs life skills

theory for book 2: jeremey buys jean his freedom and jean becomes an exy coach ( more of a pipe dream i guess)

i also think Greyson will kill lucas

jeremeys saving grace being the thought of his sister deserving better is horrifying

i wish we got more of his relationship with Zane

neil is a real one because Jean compared Greyson to drake once, and Neil took care of it for him

jean being afraid of sleeping alone is so sad because he's basically been trained to sleep next to someone

and the fact that he has nighmares, but they are hardly mentioned, and jeremey is the one to bring it up is so sad

also kevin should have tried harder to reach out to jean

jean pushed away the foxes because he knew they would eventually leave him too

jean being steadfast in the idea that if he plays a good game he will have momentary peace is heartbreaking

jean holding onto his talent despite people thinking he slept his way to the top is also upsetting

i hope we get a zane and jean reunion bc i think they truly cared for each other

maybe kevin sends jean a postcard and a magnet and they can reconnect

also him realizing his very limited possesions have been destroyed made me almost cry

and the magnet scene with jeremey is very sad, but him realizing the magnets are broken make him realize that he is

kevin and jean still both being afraid of riko is telling bc riko is dead

let me know what yall thought... always willing to talk about all for the game.

[panda-writes-kpop]

thnks fr th mmrs, vn thgh thy wrn’t s grt

a/n: 0_0 ..me when I remember that I haven't updated the hypnosis series in months... whoops! anyways, here's another chapter to feed the people who enjoy this series! special thanks to @kingmaker-a for reading over this one - I'm glad you enjoy the series, my guy <3

tw: lots of blood 'n gore, weird spirit physics, double the people turning into vampires for none of the extra cost, sad memories and morally ambiguous characters

word count: 4.6k

( <- Previous Part | Next Part -> | Series Masterlist)

summary: everything's wrong. two of your friends are missing, two of your friends are in serious shit with the university, and the other three are barely hanging on to what they hold dear. and then there's you - the one who's seeing the ghost of your dead friend. the cherry on top? you may be turning into the monster that destroyed everything you loved.

but it can't get worse than this, right?

♡ Masterlist ♡

light - the absence of darkness.

From the bright sunshine that would blind you when you walked to your 10:30 a.m. lecture to the electrical lighting that allowed you to see what SuA had done to Siyeon, it was there to help illuminate your way and give you the answers that you seeked.

Without the light, you felt like you were stumbling into darkness, just as you were doing now. Your intuition had guided you forwards, past the unrecognizable mush of blood, guts, and bones that was a body in front of you. Your phone flashlight was the only sort of light you had, but it felt like a cheap replica compared to the warm sunlight that you and your friends used to bask in together.

Will things ever be the same?

That wasn’t the question to ask, especially now that you were in an abandoned part of a hospital ward. 

Looking back, the hospital room with your friends seems so far away, and you could go back and give up.

But you don’t quit, not when two of your friends are locked up in some cold, abysmal basement on campus while Ryujin and Handong are nowhere to be seen. You could do something for once, have some agency in the middle of the world’s shittiest situation. 

So you continue on until you encounter a disastrous scene. What intrigues you lies past the bloodshed, but you’re forced to look at what’s in front of you first.

There are eight closed doors past the messy nurse’s station - an evacuation or a massacre took place here, due to the scatter of paperwork, files, and file cabinets all over the floor. A few papers were stuck to the ceiling with pins and needles, and blood covers every possible surface. You’d normally gag at the sight of so much blood, but you weirdly find… comfort in all of it.

And when did your mouth start filling with saliva?

You force yourself to swallow the uncomfortable feeling rising in your chest. Handong and Ryujin are fine, if anything were to happen to them, they’d be the most likely to take care of themselves and each other.

Yet again, betrayal seemed to be a common theme in your life, so you’d best keep moving.

Alright, there’s eight doors. Find something familiar, someone familiar that will make you want to go through.

Your hand grabs the first door knob as you realize how ill-prepared you are for this venture. With just your phone flashlight and the will of pure fucking spite for SuA and her shitty life decisions, you pull through the tangled threads of your fractured mind to find someone to help you through this.

Unfortunately for you and your increasingly temporary good mood, your mind finds its way to settle on Chou Tzuyu, the girl who died before she ever had a chance to live.

What if I hadn’t blocked SuA immediately? What if I had talked things through with Siyeon sooner? What if JiU and I had seen eye-to-eye?

Would anything have changed?

You take a soft breath before turning the door handle.

Chou Tzuyu - the girl who never hesitated to help you out, the girl who gave you homework answers every time you came to class with glassy eyes, and the girl who helped you realize that you should give dating another chance.

You let go of the door handle to place both hands on the door. Rage builds inside of you as vengeance seeps into your bones. Chou Tzuyu was dead, and you were pissed about it.

You pull your hands back, only to slam them against the steel door. To your surprise, the door flies off of its hinges and slams into the parallel wall inside of the hospital room. With your hands extended, you stare at them in morbid curiosity (I did that?) before you realize that you can step through the room (I did that!).

With your phone flashlight, you scan the wall to your left to find a light switch, and once you find it, you flick it on. The light blinks for a minute before turning on. Although you weren’t a fan of the sterile lighting, it was better than the darkness that you were surrounded in before.

“What would you ever do without me?” A voice rings out, one that causes your hair to rise on your neck and arms.

You shriek and throw your phone - one of the least intelligent decisions you’ve made thus far - and you cringe when you hear it shatter against the wall.

Fuck.

“Tzuyu?” You spin around, only to lock eyes with someone you never thought you would see again. “Fuck, I’m sorry-“

“-Don’t worry about it, you can’t do me any harm.” Tzuyu offers you a warm smile before sticking her arm through a wall and then letting it sit at her side afterwards. “SuA already killed me once, you can’t kill me again.”

Bewildered, you stare at her.

“How? Why? What the fuck?”

“Well, I heard Siyeon and SuA fighting-“

“-yeah, I heard that story, I know.” You wildly gesture to the girl in front of you. “How are you here?”

“Being a ghost works differently than being a human or any other type of mortal creature.” She explains as you notice a soft lilac hue that surrounds her figure. “I’m free to roam between the planes of the living and the dead, and I can visit who I want whenever I want.”

“Okay…” You shake your head before nervously playing with your hair. “Why did you choose me to talk to?”

“You have a lot of questions, like usual, and I have plenty of answers. It’ll be just like old times.” Tzuyu sits on the edge of the hospital bed before patting the spot next to her. 

You reluctantly sit next to Tzuyu as you study her for a moment. She doesn’t look as ghastly as your last meeting with her; instead, she looks just as well as she did at the party.

“The party, Tzuyu, you were there… or, at least, it looked like you were there.” You try to explain the events of the party, but it all blurs together in your mind.

Drinks. Dahyun dancing? Tzuyu left to see her. Video games. JiU crashes the party. 2 a.m. wake-up. SuA bites me. Fox bites her. I died?

“It was a mirage, someone was working with SuA to create an exact duplicate of me. It has to be someone with powerful sorcery skills who would study under Professor Wang, since he specialized in mirages and illusions.” Tzuyu’s words cause you to sigh in relief.

“So it couldn’t have been Dami?” You softly ask as your heart tenses in your chest.

She’s the brightest witch you know, one with a soft heart and a kind soul. Did that make her more innocent or more guilty, you wonder.

“No, Dami wouldn’t be taking a class related to that subject until next semester.” Tzuyu places one of her hands over yours, but you can’t feel her warmth, even though you know it’s there. “She’s the last person I’d expect to betray you.”

“Really?” The disbelief in your voice causes you to physically recoil.

“Don’t you remember? When you left that party and went home, who was the first person that found you?”

You had to have been crying for hours when you got home from the party. What else were you supposed to do besides face the reality that your relationship with the girl you loved was over?

You expected one of your friends to come knocking on the door, Minji perhaps? She was too in-tune with your feelings for your liking, and it was something that bothered you about her. She knew that your relationship was over before you did, and she told you to break things off with Bora before you got hurt.

What a fool you are - maybe she’s here to rub it in your face after everything.

The knocking continues, but it’s less forceful than you thought it was. Gahyeon would try to tear the door off its hinges - she actually did so to your dorm room door when you locked yourself in there in order to prepare for exams. Safe to say, your RA, Irene, wasn’t a big fan of Gahyeon afterwards.

Handong would’ve only knocked once and called out to you. You got into a small fight with SuA, your first fight as a couple, and it absolutely broke you. You stormed into your room and didn’t come out for breakfast, which was unusual for you since you and Handong would get breakfast together before heading to your early morning classes. She was gentle with her approach, and her words eventually drew you out of your hiding spot to go grab a bite to eat before class started.

Yoohyeon would’ve just yelled instead of knocking - knocking was never really her style, anyways. She was your best friend, after all, so the door was always unlocked for her. She’d just yell before storming in, something along the lines of “you better have clothes on, otherwise you’re paying for our joint therapy session!”

Siyeon wouldn’t have knocked - you always went over to her place. Most of the time it was to pick up SuA, or to just hang out with all of the girls since their dorm was much larger than everyone else’s.

When you realized who it was, you pulled yourself off of the floor before wobbling to the door. Of course, the girl knocking on your door would be gentle yet persistent, quiet yet certain. Your first true college friend, your closest confidant - Lee Yubin.

It’s not like you didn’t trust Yoohyeon with all of your secrets - you both know too much about each other to not be friends anymore. Sometimes, you just want to talk to that friend who just listens to what you have to say. They don’t always offer advice or help, but a comforting shoulder and reassuring words are always found with them.

When you open the door, Dami’s not prepared with a humorous quip or a warm hug.

“Can I come in?” Is the only request she makes, with a gentle kindness twinkling in her eyes.

You mumble your answer before opening up the door wide enough for her to enter, and you shut it behind her before turning on a light in your dorm room.

“What did you hear?” You ask, knowing how… creative SuA’s storytelling can be when it comes to people she doesn’t like.

“It doesn’t matter. I want to hear what happened from you.” She reaches over to you and holds out her hand. “Your word matters more to me than SuA’s, or anyone else’s, for that matter. I believe you, I trust you, and I know you.”

So you tell her all of it. Some of the relationship issues you’ve been having to Minji’s break-up comments to the events at the party to how you got back home.

When you’re done, all you can do is scan her face to see how she reacts. Dami, ever the calming wave crashing against the shoreline, reflects empathy and kindness towards you as you finally take her hand.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I could’ve walked you home. You shouldn’t have been alone after all of that.” She says as you bite your lip.

Through tears, you can’t help but choke out a laugh.

“Are you alright?” She instinctively cups your face and brings it closer to hers, but you shake your head and smile.

“Only a true martyr blames herself for other people’s actions. Dami,” You lightly squeeze her hand, “I’m just glad you’re here. I’d much rather talk with you than anyone else.”

“Not Yoohyeon?” In disbelief, she lets go of your face.

You find yourself missing her warmth before you answer.

“Not even Yoohyeon. You’re irreplaceable to me, Dami. I hope we’re close for the rest of our lives because I can’t imagine what I would do without you.”

“…Right.” Heat flocks to your face as you nervously bite your lip. “How could I ever doubt her? Dami put her freedom, her ability to practice magic, and her scholarships on the line to save me. Who does that for a friend?”

“A good person,” Tzuyu quickly answers, “and you know it’s not Gahyeon either. She killed someone for you - a former friend of hers, no less.”

“I need to get them out of there, save them-“

“I assure you, those two are not damsels in distress.” Tzuyu laughs to herself for a moment. “The catacombs under the school aren’t that difficult to navigate.”

“Why lock them up there instead of a prison?” You ask.

“The university didn’t want news getting out about two dead students - bad for enrollment rates. They wanted to sort this mess out in private, but it’s all going to come out in one way or another.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.” Tzuyu confidently says.

“What do I do now? What about Ryujin and Handong?” Confused, you look to Tzuyu for answers.

“Try more doors. If you found me, then you can find the other answers you seek.” She wistfully responds.

“What about you?”

“I’ll be here when you need me. What else am I going to do for the rest of eternity?”

~

With a broken phone and a ghastly thumbs up from Tzuyu, you leave Tzuyu behind as you approach the room across from hers.

Wandering around in the darkness, you find yourself carefully maneuvering to the other side of the hallway as your stomach growls.

How long has it been since I’ve eaten something?

Your hunger doesn’t seem to be settled by the thoughts of food - rather, all thoughts of human food seem to be repulsive to you. You find yourself gagging as you crash through the second door without a second thought.

I’ve really got to get this superhuman strength under control.

After checking yourself for injuries, you stand up and flick on the light switch. The light comes on with ease, and a soft sigh leaves your lips.

A child’s room outside of the pediatric ward? How odd.

You see a small teddy bear resting next to your feet, and you don’t hesitate to pick it up.

You throw the dart against the board, and Ryujin chuckles as it falls to the ground after touching the board.

“Alright, fur-for-brains, you try it.” You gruffly say before stepping aside.

“I’d prefer you call me Jinnie over that.” She calmly says before picking up the dart and casually throwing it.

And, of course, it’s a bullseye.

She gives you a sweet smile as you give her a sweet two-finger salute, one on each hand. Mature as ever, she sticks her tongue out at you as the carnival worker grabs her an oversized pink unicorn.

“Good luck fitting that abomination in your dorm.” You laugh as Ryujin proudly holds the plushie in her arms.

“Lucky for you, it’s going on the top of my car as a hood decoration!”

You loudly groan as Ryujin laughs. Neither of you notice the pair of friends approaching you until a yellow snow cone lands on the giant unicorn’s belly.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” The taller girl, with long, black hair, quickly apologizes before grabbing some napkins and helping Ryujin clean it up.

“It looks like my unicorn pissed itself!” She whines as you softly laugh.

Your eyes peel away from the sight as you realize who the other girl is.

“Dami, right? We met at orientation.” You give Dami a warm smile that she reciprocates. 

“Yeah. Sorry I haven’t been responding to your texts, I was busy moving in-“

“-Nah, it’s alright,” You reassure her, “I’ve been busy trying to adapt to college life as well. How about we meet for lunch tomorrow and we can catch up?”

“That sounds great.” She gracefully accepts your offer before turning towards JiU and Ryujin. “That’s JiU - most of us call her Minji, though. She’s one of my close friends and we went to high school together.”

“Minji, huh?” Your eyes focus on Ryujin. “Ryujin’s been my best friend since I started walking. People thought we were weird, since she was a werewolf and I was a human, but we made it work.”

“Our friend group has a vampire and a vampire hunter, so it can’t get any weirder than that.”

“Your friends sound like fun. I’d love to meet them sometime.” You say as Ryujin dejectedly walks back to you. “Did you clean up your unicorn’s little accident?”

“It mostly came out, I’ll just put some bleach on it when I get home.” She shrugs as JiU nervously plays with a strand of hair.

“Please, let me make it up to you. I still have two food vouchers from the university that I haven’t used yet,” Minji hands them to you before turning back to Ryujin, "and I got this teddy bear at another game earlier, but I’ve got plenty of stuffed animals at home, so you should take it.”

“I’ll take the food vouchers,” Ryujin snatches them from your hand before handing you the teddy bear, “you can have the bear.”

Ryujin walks away, leaving you to say your goodbyes. 

“It’s been great to catch up, Dami, and I look forward to lunch tomorrow!” You wave at her with a smile before backpedaling towards Ryujin. “Thank you, Minji, for the bear. I promise to treasure it.”

You set the teddy bear down on the bed before grabbing the bedsheet and pulling it up to the pillow.

“I can’t believe we got a whole house to ourselves for a sleepover!” Gahyeon cheers before crashing against the bed.

“Don’t get too excited, Gahyeon,” Handong warns, “we’ll have to have the place spotless; otherwise, SuA will have our asses.”

You set your stuff down on a bed in the next room over as Handong and Gahyeon converse in the distance. Yoohyeon leans against the doorway as you start to unpack your overnight bag. 

“Getting comfortable?” She teases before sliding into the room.

“I’m trying to.” You sigh before tossing the bag aside and flopping on the bed. “Yooh, can I tell you something?”

“If you’re going to tell me something weird, I have to start charging you for therapy sessions-“

“How do you deal with liking one of your friends?” You honestly ask Yoohyeon as she loudly gasps.

“YOU LIKE SOMEONE-“ She shouts, loud enough for the whole house to hear, before you have a chance to close the door. “And you didn’t tell me first?”

“To be fair, I haven’t told anyone else yet, so you will be the first.” You offer her some semblance of comfort as your heart races in your chest - you were really going to say what you were feeling out loud, huh?

“So… who is it?” She asks before you sigh deeply.

“It’s someone I’d never thought I’d fall for, in all honesty. Someone who understands me in a way that no one else has.” You confess as Yoohyeon squeals.

“Oh, I know who you’re talking about! It has to be-“

“-SuA.” You quickly breathe out as Yoohyeon blinks at you once, twice, and then thrice.

“Oh shit, well, good for you!” Yoohyeon scrambles for the right words as you fold your arms.

“No words of comfort or reassurance?” You ask as she shrugs.

“SuA’s not out of your league, but she wasn’t who I was expecting, in all honesty. I didn’t know you two were close.” Yoohyeon says.

“So you’re okay with SuA and I being together if she says yes to a first date?” 

Yoohyeon takes your hand and gently squeezes it.

“I’m your best friend. I’d tell you if you were doing something stupid, trust me.”

You choke out a laugh before grabbing the pillow and putting it back into place.

“Minji, I’m so sorry to bother you.” You softly say before she hands you a glass of tea.

“No, it’s alright, it’s what friends are for. What did you need to talk to me about?” 

“SuA and I- we’re not doing alright.” Your words lift a weight off your chest, as if saying what you’ve been feeling will fix all of your problems. “We’ve gotten into more fights, and every time I want to talk about it, she blows me off to go partying. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Can I-“ Minji pauses for a moment before grabbing your arm. “Can I be honest with you?”

“Of course.” You nod as she continues on.

“SuA, she’s a great person and all, but she has her flaws. You know this, just as the rest of us do. I love her, dearly and truly, but she’s an unnameable spirit. You won’t get her to settle down with sugar coated words or sweet promises.”

“What should I do, then?”

“You should break up with her.” Minji bluntly says it, and her words carve a mark in your heart that a thousand swords could not replicate.

“What?” You softly respond, hoping your brain had cherry-picked her words and made some sort of sick mash-up of them.

“You can’t- you can’t be with someone who makes you miserable. I see the two of you at parties. She has a great time with her friends, and you look like you want to be anywhere in the world besides at her side-“

“-yeah, but she compromises for me and I do it for her as well-“ You try to defend SuA, but JiU’s having none of it.

“-you’re new to dating, especially when it comes to someone like SuA, and I don’t want to see someone I care about get hurt.”

Your eyes involuntarily roll as you know the lecture is coming. Despite Minji being the most agreeable person on the planet, the two of you don’t always see eye-to-eye. She’s too involved in your life, at times, and you just need some space away from other people to clear your thoughts. To her, you don’t care enough about yourself and she will point that out, every single time, without fail. You’ve always treated her like an overcautious, caring mother, but something about her words irks you. Maybe it’s the fact that there is truth mingled in with her opinion, or you’ve finally grown tired of her meddling in your life, but you’ve had enough.

“I’m not a child, Minji.” You set the tea cup aside before standing up. “I can decide who I want to date, and when or if I should break up with them. I just wanted to see if you knew anything about why SuA has been so distant lately.”

“I don’t want to see you get hurt.” She repeats, firmly standing her ground.

“Do you know something I don’t, Minji?” You exasperatedly say before running your fingers through your hair. “I don’t see why you could care so much about me - SuA was your friend first, after all.”

“Her actions are not my responsibility.”

You can’t take this delicate dance of instigating and investigating any more, so you quickly move towards the exit of Siyeon, SuA, and Minji’s dorm.

“Wait, please-“ She calls out to you as you reach for the door. “I’m doing this because I-“

You slam the door in her face, an act you would grow to regret. When you come back a few hours later to return her pillow from your dorm, it’s like you’ve encountered a new person. She offers you a simple greeting before taking the pillow from her arms.

Minji’s smile doesn’t spread as wide as usual, and it’s all your fault.

Asshole.

A gentle tear runs down your cheek - you were awful to her, weren’t you? - as you gently fix the chapstick on the bedside table.

“You cheated on her!” Siyeon screams at you from the door as tears fall down your face.

“No, she cheated on me.” You offer a simple explanation, but she isn’t buying it.

“I found your chapstick in that girl’s bedroom, so try another excuse.” She haphazardly tosses the chapstick, and you’re able to catch it, even with tears partially blocking your sight.

“I let SuA use it-“

“I can’t even look at you. Come find me when you’re ready to make things right, and I may be kind enough to let you do so.” Siyeon slams the door as you fall to the ground in a puddle of misery and wallowing.

Two friends, one girlfriend. All gone within a few days of each other. Who else would leave you next? Handong? Yoohyeon? Gahyeon? Dami?

For some reason, the thought of Dami leaving you behind pushes you over the edge as the floodgates break open. You sob on the floor for what seems to be hours until your roommate finds you and brings you to bed, where you cry yourself to sleep for another night.

It’s saddening how quickly things can be over. Siyeon seemed open for a reunion - did SuA finally confess, or did Siyeon figure out the truth? You knew your friendship with Minji would never be the same, and that was okay with you. 

Although you were miserable with the loss of a few friends a few months ago, you’d be beyond consolable if one of your close friends of today were to betray you or-

Don’t think about that. Don’t think about that. Don’t think about that.

You lightly brush the tears away before looking in the vanity. The sight in front of you causes you to scream as the puzzle pieces connect in your head.

Hunger for blood, insane strength, and invisible in mirrors.

Despite the fact that your reflection is missing, two pointy objects reflect back to you as you open your mouth.

Sharp fangs.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You rub your temples, hoping that’ll miraculously fix you. “This day cannot get any worse.”

As if the hell opened up and Satan heard your words, Ryujin crashes against the doorless door frame with a heavy sigh.

“You’re bleeding!” You yell as Ryujin winces and holds her side.

“I’ll be fine.” She reassures you as you rush over to her. “Nice fangs, you freak.”

“You’re not helping.” You gently help Ryujin to the bed. “Who did this to you?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” She breathes a little lighter when she’s resting on your bed. “So is the vampire thing permanent, or-“

“Let me deal with that shit, you’re going to bleed out at this rate.” You grab a bundle of cloth that Ryujin can hold at her side. “I can’t do stitches, but I think Minji might be able to-“

Ryujin grabs your arm as you turn away from her.

“You shouldn’t go out there.”

“Why not?”

“She’s out there.” Ryujin coughs up a bit of blood as you grab a few tissues for her.

“Who is she?”

“Handong, but it’s not the girl that you know. They, the vampires,” She corrects herself before coughing into a tissue, “got to her before I could fight them all off. She’s a vampire spawn, hungry and lost to her instincts. We can’t help her until we get her some human blood.”

“We’re in hospital, there has to be blood somewhere-“ You reason as Ryujin shakes her head.

“Fresh blood, from a living human.”

“Yoohyeon.” You breathe out as Ryujin coughs again. “Are you going to be alright?”

“I’m a werewolf, this will blow over in a day or two. Supernatural healing is the shit, huh.” She laughs before going into another coughing fit.

“I can stay with you-“ “-You have to find Yoohyeon before Handong does; otherwise, we’ll have another murder on our hands.”

[crehador]

translation issues aside, the story of reverse 1999 is really surprisingly good for a gacha. i'm vibing with the characters and setting, and the STRUCTURE of the currently released chapters is just downright excellent

major spoilers for chapters 1 through 4 below the cut

introducing us to the world through regulus was such a good call for chapter one, it's all new to her just like it's all new to the player. we get a chance to learn through her eyes

another reason this works so well imo is it paints vertin, in regulus's eyes, as this hyper-competent character with her own agenda and agency (only to reveal bit by bit that she's in a much more difficult position than it may seem at first, and in so many ways is still just a hurt kid trying to right the wrongs she's seen in this world, desperate not to lose more people)

then we move on to chapter 2, where we see schneider's tragedy unfold and meet some major players like arcana. schneider's story even on its own is pretty damn good, but the way vertin acts and reacts in chapter 2 is full of perfect little hints to what kind of past trauma might have shaped her

THEN CHAPTER 3. THE TRAUMA. i loved schneider's story, but i think this is where we really dive into the meat of the overarching plot. and it is such a perfect dive

like after the events of chapter 2, it does more or less make sense that vertin is being treated for Something. right away chapter 3 gives off a bit of a foreboding feeling because vertin's in the hands of the foundation now, which we as a player knows she doesn't trust, and it's deliberately made ambiguous what she's being treated for and exactly when she'll be released

but at this point, to me at least, it still seemed... possible that she really was just being treated for damage from chapter 2

THEN THE HORRORS UNFOLD vertin's past is shown to us throughout this chapter, and bit by bit it dawns that the foundation is capable of much more heinous acts than we already expected. when we meet the ring and isabella, a feeling of dread sets in right away. because they're clearly important to vertin, but where are they in the present? it's not hard to figure out she lost them (which adds so much dimension to her reactions to everything with schneider)

when the escape plan is coming together, with those side looks at what constantine is scheming, the inevitable dread gets heavier and heavier. like even knowing exactly what would happen, that the kids would be deliberately funneled into the storm just so vertin would see them die and feel responsible because it was her plan that led them there... seeing it actually happen was still a major gut punch, very effective

vertin's naivete in this past is such a haunting thing to see as well, there are moments where the text even shines a light on "will they realize this is going TOO smoothly for them?" and no! no they do not!! because they are 12-year-old kids who haven't lost all hope in the world!!!

seeing these grand scenes unfold with chess (and later go) on the screen was visually very cool as well, imo. might feel a bit gimmicky but it's a gimmick i enjoyed

anyway so then we get to chapter 4, and by then the sense of dread surrounding the foundation has fully set in. so it's almost unsurprising (yet still HORRIFYING) when you realize holy shit the foundation is keeping vertin hostage in a medically induced coma!! treatment for trauma my ass!!!

i feel like chapter 4 was the perfect place to end this arc as well, it was like an extended prologue. a lot of the tension/excitement for me came from the realization that vertin doesn't yet have a place to belong, it's not like "manus bad, foundation good" and that's that

looking at it through the lense of arknights, it would be like if doctor didn't have rhodes island at the start. all these factions around vertin, with their own agendas, and she doesn't have her own "home" yet

we get there, at the end of chapter 4. but of course it's not perfect, the terms of her operating her own team are very conditional, and there are loads of unanswered questions for the future

but it's a nice little set-up for future events, for vertin building this team (family) of arcanists who have some measure of freedom. the tension is still there, the foundation is still scheming, and some new mysterious organization is getting ready to enter the chat...?

all in all just, imo, an excellently structured story so far. it's a shame the translation detracts so much from it, i do think some powerful moments suffered from that. but the actual story is really quite strong, and vertin and her circle are all quite captivating to me so far

[nomsfaultau]

Hello hello which characters from your Fault au would be which fear's avatar? (The Magnus Archives, you can google the fears and their descriptions if you don't know them)

ok I haven’t listened to the Magnus archives (since I’m not a horror fan) but I have entity assignments for the guys of I can find it in discord. Funnily enough Fault and Magnus Archive language overlaps, since Fault also invokes a language of ‘avatar’ for its magic system, even if the characters are far too wrapped up in their own problems to explore the world building lore. Minor spoilers I guess.

Tubbo is the corruption obviously since come on bee hivemind that has minor siren properties that force you to want to belong to the hive. From what I know that fits the corruption very well. Honesty Rosalind’s subsumption into the hive probably is a scene straight out of the Magnus archives. Also the way Tubbo twists their own revulsion into justifying their morals/prejudices. Not that uh being revolted by massacres isn’t normal but their atavistic gut reactions feed more of their philosophy than they’d admit. I’ve had The Blade as a toss up between the slaughter and the hunt. Like he is literally an avatar for the god of Slaughter and Supremacy buuut I think the hunt wins out because it’s a chase. He’s compelled to finish a fight, and will find anyone who’s begun a battle no matter what as if magnetized to them. And it’s not entirely unpredictable violence since it’s always retaliation. Plus I think The Blood God has a preference for animal vessels, or at least most of their vessels haven’t been humans since they’ve been active since the first cell killed another cell. Tommy is the lonely. I mean he is a vessel for slaughter just like The Blade but loneliness defines him. He’s spent his time in the Foundation as a training exercise, desperately latching on to any human connection only for handlers assigned to him to suddenly move on, or hurt/despise him. Extreme abandonment issues, and spirals when he’s left alone in the dark with his gloves. A curled up figure in the center of a massacre, reaching out desperately and dooming all he touches. Tommy is the lonely to a T. Wilbur could be the darkness? Since I mean hello vessel for the void and things that crawl in and are shadows. However I think the stranger is more interesting for him. He doesn’t fit in unfamiliar human places, spent his entire life trying to infiltrate into society to survive. Yet he’s constantly hyper aware of his distinction from humanity. He’s never had a home, always on the run, and so he’s never had a place that’s familiar. He’s always the new stranger in town. Wilbur is the uncanny figure, the not quite human, the thing that doesn’t belong. Plus the theme of being replaced for the eventual Namestealer arc. Philza is the desolation. He’s not a vessel for a god/conceptual but rather is one so powerful he made himself real, so idk if that translates in MA to being the entity rather than an avatar but idk. Regardless he’s the god of Fire and Fury so desolation it is. Philza inflicts a lot of cruel destruction, and is very precise in the torture he causes even at a mass scale. But he’s also experienced a LOT of loss over the millennia, each time losing some of his commitment to being a person. His entire theme is building attachments and then losing them.

little bonus for the villain ocs: Webb is. The web. No he’s the spiral, given how he amnesticized and gaslit Philza into a complete mental spiral, unable to trust his own fraying memories or remember his loved ones. And come on, Tommy’s doorway is a MASSIVE motif in that arc. Dr. Blake is actually the web, given how she manipulates anomalies in order to survive. Also a large theme with her is how she manufactures choices that both serve her in order to distract victims from making a decision outside her control. Also a key player in Tommy believing he has no agency.

[glittering-snowfall]

In her article "Blood and Guts in High School," written for Criterion in 2023, Farihah Zaman writes:

"Leaning into her supernatural power rather than fearing its consequences, Ginger now wants to get more out of life than she has ever been offered. In a culture in which it was—and still is—rare to see women who are justifiably angry in mainstream theaters, Ginger has finally found an outlet for her creative, dark, weird, emotional spirit, and for her righteous rage. Perhaps becoming a werewolf hasn’t changed her so much as draw out the innate parts of her that were previously quashed. This makes her turn to violence less of an indictment of her character than a logical foregone conclusion: she was offered a portal to another world, a world where she might live deliciously, and she took it, come what may."

I would like to unpack what I disagree with about this statement, while also highlighting aspects of Zaman's article with which I agree.

First of all, if Ginger can be said to have "righteous rage," then that rage is misdirected. Ginger recognizes the boxes that the patriarchy imposes upon girls and women ("A girl can only be a slut, bitch, tease, or... the virgin next door") but she doesn't want to dismantle those boxes or the system that puts them in place. Her goal is to "coast on how the world works." She cannot see a way out, for lack of a better word. The promise of "out by sixteen" still replicates the power dynamics of "the way it has always been" for the sisters - and is, from the start, overshadowed by the second option of "dead on this scene." Indeed, death feels like the only way out that's actually a way out. It stops someone from taking part in the hierarchies into which they have been born, but it also leaves them... well... dead. The "ultimate fuck you," as Ginger puts it, but as Brigitte points out, the very forces Ginger would be "defying" by suicide would still be in place, and the people still alive could just... laugh. Could just... ignore or absorb the gesture to make into something it isn't. And, as the film goes on, "out by sixteen" decays into "going way, way out there, way, way far from where you live" - turning on Brigitte because Ginger has given up on "fixing" the problem of lycanthropy. It's just more shit the world has thrown at her that she didn't ask for and, in her mind, "you can't fix this" so she tries to adapt to the (new) status quo.

But adapting to the status quo is what Ginger has always done, for all her defiant bravado. Her declaration that she is the one who is going to make it out and not Brigitte masks a heartbreaking sense of hopelessness. She's using the language of escape, but it's clear a part of her thinks she's already dead, and has maybe always thought that.

The lashing out at Brigitte also highlights that Ginger's "rage" only targets those she has some degree of power over, or are "small-scale" targets that do not actually disrupt the status quo.

I agree with Zaman when she writes:

"And here, in high school, is a volatile population with burgeoning intellect and opinions, yet very little agency or experience to help them find an outlet for that inner life; with all the complex emotions of adults but lacking the same tools to process them. This powder keg of feeling is bundled up and shoehorned into a claustrophobically enclosed, chronically underfunded institution, where seemingly arbitrary indicators of superiority determine the level of satisfaction or even survival that a human being will experience for years at a time. And who feels the weight of this system, with all of global patriarchy pressing down above and through it, more than teenage girls?"

But killing Mr. Wayne doesn't make a dent in any of that - and Ginger knows that, she already thinks it's impossible to make a dent, she's just trying to take a little bit of power for herself, but she's not actually taking power. Killing a few cogs in the system does nothing to relieve the weight still pressing down on her, but it gives an illusion of power. Likewise, killing the janitor is less a grand gesture regarding abuse in the institution of high school and more an effort to maintain control over Brigitte by a) forcing Brigitte to share in her guilt and b) deflecting from Ginger's own predatory intentions toward Brigitte.

Ginger does have "very little agency or experience" and because of that lack of agency, she targets who she can. She doesn't have the power (or even the desire, really) to undermine "all of global patriarchy," but she does have power over Brigitte. She cannot reshape the forces that afflict her - whether they be the hierarchies of high school or the sexual violence metaphorically depicted through the lycanthrope attack - but she can reshape Brigitte. She can curtail Brigitte's agency as hers has been curtailed. She can influence Brigitte's identity, first by whispering in her ear and then by trying to persuade her to turn. That is the opiate that distracts Ginger from all the things she is aware afflict her, but that she cannot touch.

In the past, I’ve characterized Ginger as a victim of the patriarchy who ends up emulating the patriarchy in an effort to lash out at it, citing Karen Walton’s statements that Ginger’s is “a story of self-destruction. Which is the antithesis of a feminist story” and that she sees Ginger as “mimicking a gluttonous, cartoon-like existence that at least in my own writing I associate with the tradition of the white male. The idea that, hey if I am powerful I get to do what I want” – and I stand by that assessment. Ginger feels the weight of the patriarchy pressing down on her, as Zaman suggests, but because she cannot attack the nebulous systems and structures crushing her down, she tries to use their assumptions to her advantage (“A girl can only be a slut, bitch, tease, or . . . the virgin next door.”) and to exert control over the few people she can in order to not feel completely powerless.

And it’s tragic because we see how much Ginger and Brigitte have in common – both still kids, both trying to carve out individual identities in a world that stacks the deck against them – and we see how they have loved and supported one another for years (Karen Walton, in the same interview where she tells how the film is about a “relationship that becomes unhealthy and deadly” still highlights how, before the breaking point, they “took strength from each other, nourished and informed each other for a long time” – and so it’s heartbreaking to watch that relationship get broken down by systems of power – but in a world of hierarchies, where the only hierarchy Ginger finds herself at the top of is the hierarchy of her and Brigitte (older sister over younger sister), she uses what she can to her advantage – because that is what she has been taught by the world that you have to do in order to survive.

She doesn’t survive in the end, of course, because the forces that pit her against others like her keep power for themselves. And besides, she's never really believed there's been a way out anyway.

[yakool-foolio]

Oh! Yakou for the ship ask game!

I'll try not to go too crazy this time and just go with the lead cast plus any other characters I've seen Yakou shipped with.

Yakou x his wife: 10/10; no notes it's perfect. Their DLC just made me want even more scenes of them together, they're so darn cute! I love the idea of her spirit watching over Yakou's homunculus because she wishes no harm to come to him just as she would do for his original self. They're both so devoted to each other, I adore them dearly.

Yakou x Shinigami: 8/10; listen... when ya write up a whole AU where ya stick a cowardly middle-aged man and a mischievous death god in handcuffs together, the interactions practically write themselves. I think I have convinced myself that they are such a fun duo that I so badly wish we got to see them interact in canon. But hey, that's what my couple hundred AU ramblings are here for.

Yakou x Yuma: 3/10; not for me, but I definitely see the vision. 'Oh my god they were roommates' type deal. I am all for people exploring all the nooks n crannies of Yakou n Yuma's dynamic, and them being romantic is certainly on the table. Go for it!

Yakou x Halara: 6/10; Halara's DLC is probably why this makes more sense than it would've before. They should turn the detective agency into a cat fostering home honestly. Broke af x Rich af but won't share jack. That 'I spent it all on gambling' meme I made basically explains how entertaining they'd be as a committed duo in my head.

Yakou x Desuhiko: 2/10; I feel like their relationship would be up in flames so fast. I couldn't really describe why exactly, it's just the vibe I get. Both of them are stubborn n prideful in their own ways that could clash pretty hard. I think there is an inkling of a chance they could settle their disputes and get along better, but it probably wouldn't lead to anything romantic in my opinion. I do like the acoustic guitar n electric guitar vibes they've got going on though.

Yakou x Fubuki: 4/10; never really got anything romantic outta them, but I think they would be pretty sweet together. Downtime is the best time for them. Fubuki rewinding time to try to save Yakou from getting stabbed will always be a gut punch.

Yakou x Vivia: 10/10; need I say more than what I already have rambled countless times about? Narratively complimentary, the moon and the tide, the umbrella symbolism, the tragedy and tenderness... it's all wrapped up into one perfect lil present and I am all the happier. I love them soso much and nobody can take them from me.

Yakou x Yomi: 10/10; THE BITTER EXES WOOOOOOOO! Toxic yaoi at its finest. Their open-ended past is my oyster for shoving in so much gay into their backstories and then proceeding to watch them tear each other apart (literally speaking with the Blank Week teehee). I want them to be covered in each other's blood.

[chaoxfix]

ough trying to write a first draft is hard because i KNOW its not going to be particularly good the first go-around. i'm revising plots literally as i go, knowing that entire scenes will have to be gutted or reversed or fully renovated in order to build the following scenes. but thats okay because it's worth it to get to write my deuteragonist being even more of a kicked puppy than before. and making my main character worse (but with more agency) ... wahoo!