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heechulhamster · 5 years ago

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The Truth You Can’t Hide IV

KIM JUNMYEON (SUHO) x Fem Reader

Chapter 4 [The Truth You Can’t Hide MASTERLIST]

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 ongoing

You did it so well for six years. You’ve hid your son from the biggest threat of his life. But one mishap led to the biggest secret in your life being face to face with the man you’ve kept him away from all these years - his father.

Mafia!AU, Angst.

Each muscle of your feet started to ache as the clock struck eight, the current case the law firm you worked as a paralegal in required you to go overtime. You’ve had an internal agreement with yourself to stay in the firm and distance yourself from Junmyeon’s line of work, as you know that his two separate businesses will always coincide with the other - and you wouldn’t want both of Jaejin’s parents to have an indecent track record.

Only a few lights are lit at this time of the night, most of your officemates already in the comforts of their own home and family. An empty sigh of exhaustion escaped your lips as you sat back on your chair, freeing your feet from the tormenting heels before neatly stacking and organizing the paperwork left on your table. Organizing the case files by urgency as you plan to get your hands on it eagerly the first thing tomorrow.

“Did Mr. Goo request you on overtime again? You should take a rest.” A sudden voice spoke behind you, making you turn around. You see Atty. Zhang, one of the associate lawyers in the firm. His cripst white dress shirt neatly tucked in his black pants as he leaned over the table next to yours.

“No, Sir. I did it voluntarily. I’m really absorbed on this recent case.” You said with a light chuckle, trying your best to hide your fatigue from the day.

You heard him take light footsteps on the way closer to your desk, eventually you saw Atty. Zhang’s hands over the pile of paperwork on your desk. “Is this the one regarding the sexual harrasment case of that actor…” He snapped his fingers three times, apparently thinking about the name that’s on the tip of his tongue. “Seojoon? Bang Seo Joon?”

“Yes, I’ve been re-reading his sworn statements and the victim’s.” You stated as he read through the pages of the case file.

“This file’s been through a lot.” He said, smiling over the littered highlights and notations you’ve made all throughout the paper. “Now tell me if there’s anything you’ve found. Are we on the losing end here?”

“There has been inconsistencies with the victim’s sworn statements. Like how she said that Mr. Bang and her met around dinner at that Monday, but she has also stated that her shift as a waitress ends at closing time. She had once said that he went on a date with Mr. Bang on a Tuesday the week prior, so both Monday and Tuesday couldn’t have been her off days. And the timeline of the alleged harassment doesn’t quite add up. There’s a lot of lapses here and there.”

“You’ve really put your mind on this haven’t you? I’m impressed. Poor SeoJoon must’ve been framed.” He said smiling at you, the wells of his cheeks showing as adorable dimples as he shone his bright teeth in amazement. “But you need to rest for now, the case can wait for another day, don’t you think?”

“I’m actually on my way out.” You explained as your hands tidied your desk a bit more, putting the scattered pens and pencils back on the green holder just on the corner of the black modern table.

“I’ll come with you, then.” Mr. Zhang said with a hearty smile.

Your way down the building was filled with short talks, including of which where he asked you to plainly call him Yixing as the both of you are in the same age. It would be an understatement to describe him as attractive, he’s magnetic - naturally absorbing every attention and respect by everyone graced by his presence. Yet oddly humble despite being aware of his huge presence. Yixing know how enticing he is, yet he doesn’t impose the fact on anyone. Just letting his trait speak for itself.

“Where are you parked?” He asked, suddenly rising from your shared laughters as you both walk out of the building.

“I take a cab to work.” You answered simply as a matter of fact.

“Are you serious?” Yixing responded in shock, “Do they really pay paralegals that low here?”

“No, it’s just that I haven’t had time yet to renew my license and fix papers for a new car, you know. It’s a hassle.” You explained.

“Lucky you tonight, “cause I’m morally obliged to give you a ride.” He said lightheartedly, his chuckle low and baritone that it just lingers in your ear.

“You don’t need to.” You waved your hands to accentuate your declination, yet the smile on his eyes told you that he’s insisting.

“Who told you I’m taking no for an answer?” And with his bright smile emphasised with his charming dimples, you wouldn’t even dare to say no.

Only a few minutes in the ride, your phone flashed with a text from Junmyeon. Reading that he and Jaejin are out for dinner in a nearby restaurant and that as per your son’s request, both of them are waiting for you.

“You know that Japanese restaurant near the station?” You asked Yixing, to which he answered a simple yes. “Can you drop me off there instead? Someone just texted and I’ll be meeting them there.”

“Sure thing.” He responded with a chuckle, which stirred a confused look from you on the shotgun seat. “I almost thought you’d ask me out for dinner there.”

His implication made you blush, something that you haven’t experienced for a while. “I’m sorry to get your hopes up.” You said with a chuckle rhyming his.

“Too bad for me, I guess.” Another few laughters was all that you shared while he drove silently. Not yet developing a dynamic beyond being coworkers resulted in an odd silent tension between the two of you. As if feeling that both parties want to speak yet not finding the courage to do so.

“How long have you been working in the firm again?” Yixing spoke, finally ending the tormenting ill-at-ease silence.

“Barely three months.” You answered as-a-matter-of-fact.

“That’s odd.” He simply remarked, sensing a sheer curiosity on the tone of his voice. You expressed a simple hum in the guise of an inquiry. “I mean, three months yet as far as I remember this is the first time we talked properly. Aside from you asking me for staples, of course.”

The growing blush on your cheeks finally bloomed when he spoke of that incident. It was the early weeks of your job in the firm, hardly even familiar to everyone in the workplace. Marking probably the first time you noted of Yixing’s existence, his youthful appearance made you think he was just one of the interns or a paralegal. Atty. Goo was a man who values his time, one that is always in a rush that’s why being assigned in his team challenged you. That day, you were running late for work - your cousin who was supposed to take care of Jaejin was a quarter of an hour late arriving at your home. You carried the files, or bundles of paper which aren’t stapled to Atty. Goo’s liking just yet. That’s when you came across him, carrying his leather suitcase and a cup of coffee, just when panic started to kick in.

“Uhm.. Hi!” You waved your right hand as your left hand tightly gripped the bunches of papers, your feet dashing in front of him. “I’m new here, as much as I would like to do a proper introduction Mr. Goo needs these papers almost five minutes ago, so could you be my savior and lend me some staples?” You tried to flash your sweetest smile, maybe charming people would still work.

“Hold a second.” He answered with his pearly white, magazine cover teeth showed. Probably laughing at how ridiculous you look for your new job. He put down his still steaming cup of coffee on the table nearest to the both of you, before scanning his bag for the said tool. Retrieving a few staple pins in his bag a few seconds later. “This enough?”

“Yes! Thank you so much!” You rushed and not-so-carefully put the pages of case files and statements on the same table. Loading your stapler with the pins and organizing the pages by its groups.

The moment you finished the dreaded task, the striking man was long gone by your side. And you quickly rushed to Atty. Goo’s room, politely apologizing for the delay as you laid down the papers at his desk.

It was later that day that you discovered that the man you ambushed for staples earlier was no intern, nor a paralegal. Just outside Atty. Goo’s room, you saw the office that has been unoccupied for the first few days you’ve been there at the firm. They said that Atty. Zhang was back at China for personal reasons. And now he’s obviously back, and missing a few staple pins in his arsenal.

“Don’t bring that back! Please.” You covered your face from his sight with your left hand in embarrassment. “It was so awkward for me to talk to you afterwards.”

“It wasn’t a big deal, really. I found it oddly adorable, even.” Yixing noted. “I mean, I don’t look that old enough to be one of the lawyers, don’t I?” He said, a notion of cockiness evident in his statement.

And he was just being truthful, the firm was filled by tenured and accomplished lawyers already in their 50’s. It was a shock to learn that he was among them. A tall, singularly handsome and well versed young lawyer already making his mark in the city.

“This is the place, isn’t it?” He pointed to the right, a remarkably cosmopolitan Japanese restaurant in the wealthiest areas of Seoul. “Are you going on a date? This seems to be too extravagant for a simple dinner. Expensive taste.”

“It’s not a date. Easy to say that this person I’m meeting is a little bit too loaded in their bank account.” You said lightheartedly, to which Yixing also responded with a light laughter. “Thanks for the ride, Yixing.”

Before your hand even opened the door, he was able to hold you back by speaking again. “I was wondering if I could keep my hopes up and actually take you out for dinner some time.”

Your eyes almost widened at his indication. “Is this dinner in line of work or…”

“A date? Most preferably so.” He answered as his fingers lightly played with the steering wheel, signifying uneasiness or even nervousness.

“Oh.”

“Does that oh means you acknowledge my statement or does it indicate that you’re declining the proposal?” Yixing’s choice of words made you feel like a defendant in inquisition.

“It meant that oh, I didn’t expect to be in the receiving end of such proposal. But I’ll keep the offer in mind.” You playfully reciprocated his legalese tone.

“How long would the processing take?” Yixing asked back.

“Three working days.”

“Noted, see you on Friday?” He replied, understanding what you meant quicker than lightning. He flashed his charmingly irresistible smile yet again that made you flash one in return.

“See you, Atty. Zhang.”

The dinner was spent with Jaejin’s juvenile astonishment over the fact that fish can be eaten raw. Despite the fact that you haven’t allowed him to eat sashimi just yet, he was already looking forward on the day you’ll let him do so, settling on a good bowl of traditional and expensive ramen. And it’s in these times that you realize how close the two have gotten. How Jaejin and Junmyeon would share inside jokes that would leave you wondering on your own. The fact that the two already have bonded this tight relationship between the two of them that no one can penetrate. And that’s still in spite of Jaejin’s lack of knowledge regarding who Junmyeon really is in his life.

And you’d be lying if you don’t admit to yourself that your life has been easier with Junmyeon in it again. You don’t even have to work the long hours just to make sure that you’ll be able to save enough money for Jaejin’s future while still making all ends meet. Junmyeon already opened a trust fund under your son’s name. The hassle of looking for someone to take care of him while at work was now long gone, with Jaejin having his own sitters that Junmyeon grew up with himself. He was already taking the majority of the parental roles even before he was formally introduced as his father.

“Goodnight, Mama. I love you.” Jaejin declared with a youthful smile on his face just after he finished his nightly prayer. To which you answered the same sentiments before kissing his forehead and eventually walking out of the room.

It was agreed upon you and Junmyeon for you to take the guest room. As Jaejin is now old enough to sleep on his own. And your habitual over time at work could cause a sense of discomfort to Jaejin if he’s still dependent at your presence for sleep.

You were stunned to see Junmyeon standing outside Jaejin’s room after you shut the door. “Oh, Hi.”

“Hey.” He answered thriftily. A few seconds have passed and nobody dared to talk, and all you were able to muster was raising your eyebrows.

“Who were you with earlier?” Junmyeon asked curiously.

“Huh? What?” You didn’t quite catch what he was pertaining to.

“Who dropped you off earlier? I recognized that a Tesla was too extra to be just a cab.” You tried to sense any hint of emotion in his voice yet it just came off as a casual question.

“Oh, it was someone from work.” You started walking, your steps rhyming with the cadence of his feet.

“Workmate or… you know, someone.” He stalled, and you understand the connotation.

“Workmate that kind of just expressed that he wanted to take me out on a date. Kinda.” You couldn’t help but chuckle as you remember that Yixing, an eligible bachelor as one could get, has just asked you out on a date.

“So.. are you going?” Junmyeon’s eyes shrunk in curiosity.

“Yeah. I mean he’s nice, undoubtedly attractive. Would be dumb to not give him a shot don’t you think?” You replied, still wearing a smile on your face.

“I mean, you look excited. So I guess why not.” Junmyeon smiled back, but something in your guts just told you that it was visibly forced.

“We wouldn’t have a problem with us having relationships right?” You tested the waters, as this relationship - cohabitation, coparenting, or whatever the two of you shared surely need to be clarified with bounds soon.

“Yeah, yeah. No worries. We could go both live our lives, of course with Jaejin as priority.”

“Of course. Another thing, I don’t think this would last much anyway. He doesn’t know yet that I have a son, whatever this is would probably end once he knows. I’ll just consider it as a dry run whether or not I still have it in me to be something for someone.” You continued as both of you approached the hallway where you would eventually part ways.

“If he does that, it means he’s an asshole. And it will be his loss, his great loss.” Junmyeon smiled briefly and noticeably faint.

You cleaned your hands on the apron that hung on your neck, dusting its material with a good amount of flour. Finally lining the pan with butter before pouring in the mix and eventually letting nature do its thing once you put it inside the preheated oven. Sitting on the chair at the kitchen island and a lonesome red juicy apple in hand, you just let yourself to detach from reality as you relaxed. The piling paperwork slowly creeping up your sanity, and your only solace was Jaejin’s hugs at night - and maybe the few jubilant smiles that you and Yixing share at work.

The past two days saw a rise of interactions between the two of you. Earlier, he even dropped by your desk to give a thoughtful warm cup of coffee when he saw you taking piles of papers head on. And Yixing’s brand new presence is your life is refreshing. To relinquish that juvenile feeling of excitement is a good thing to feel every once in a while, and for you it’s really been a while.

“How’s parent life with ex holding up?” Your quiet thoughts were invaded by a man who you didn’t notice sit in front of you.

“Minseok. I didn’t see you there.” You said, your widened eyes by shock looking at his feline features.

“I could tell, pretty sure that apple’s gone dizzy from rolling over your hands too much.” He joked, where you answered a laugh to. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. How’s things?”

“Well, obviously a lot has changed since you’ve last seen me.” And the last time he has seen you, aside from the unfateful meeting at the mall, was more recent than anyone would expect.

“Yeah, I mean he walks now.” Minseok lightly tapped his fingers on the granite countertop. “Last time I saw him he still needs to be carried everywhere.” You just smiled at the thought, before he continued. “And the biggest change could be the fact that Jun knows now.”

“Probably the biggest change.” You replied.

The scorching heat of Los Angeles hasn’t gotten into your system yet. Your palms and back sweaty and tired from carrying all the grocery bags which you held with much caution. You’re body’s carrying too much, all these produce, milk cartons, and of course the baby that’s growing in your stomach. Struggling to put down the bags as you couldn’t quickly squat, you curse yourself again for deciding to go through this alone.

“Need some help?” An oddly familiar voice presented itself beside you, making a chill run down your spine. He couldn’t be here, he shouldn’t be here.

“Minseok…” You said in shock, your hands quickly lowering the grocery bags in an attempt to hide your 20 weeks pregnant stomach.

“Let me get that, Y/N.” He stepped forward as he softly retrieved the grocery bags from your hands. Your stunned figure unable to protest nor to say anything. “Could you open your door now?”

“Yeah…” You answered with a nod, still unable to process his presence while getting your keys from your shoulder bag.

Still silent, you both entered your small apartment. Barely decent enough for the way you were brought up. But this is all that you have now, and it’s better than nothing. The past four months were the hardest for you. A twenty two year old expectant mother cut off by her influential family and left alone to live and make ends meet in a foreign land. Tough luck, tough life, you thought.

“Where should I put these milk, in the fridge or…” Minseok asked yet you’re quick to cut him off.

“Did he send you here?” You looked in his easily distinguishable eyes, now painted with imminent confusion. “Junmyeon, did he send you here?”

“Send me? I’m not his employee.” He answered with a short almost humorless laugh. “I’ve been in LA for business the past few weeks. Didn’t expect to see you while doing groceries, found a familiar face, so I trailed you down. Too creepy?”

“Does he know?” You asked, not bothering with the small courtesies as you were more nervous of the possibilities of finding him here.

“Where you’re at? Probably. He probably still keeps track of you.” Your breath hitched at Minseok’s response. “That you’re pregnant? I highly doubt. If he does, he wouldn’t let you live alone in this barely modest apartment.”

Your hand uncontrollably caressed your bump, a sense of protectiveness flowing all over you. “Would you tell him?”

“Not if you don’t want me to.” There was sincerity in his voice, and you know Minseok is a man of his words. “Junmyeon is my friend, but you are too.”

He slowly walked over your form that just sat on the sofa. “But first you need to make me understand why you left him and why you’re living in this…” He looked around the bare white walls, the undeniable lack of furnishings and decor “..sad excuse for a home, with no offense meant.”

“Suho.” You dryly answered with almost a whisper, folds forming in his face in your response. “I didn’t leave Junmyeon. I left Suho. Whatever he is, I don’t want my son to do anything with him.”

“You know, don’t you?” You asked him again even before he was able to form any answer.

“I…” He started off, still processing any suitable answer. “I am aware of that, yes.” He slowly nodded, finally sitting down the uncomfortable wooden chair in front of you. “How did you…”

“Your friend was stupid enough to leave a folder full of transactions where I could read it.” You answered bitterly, still unable to accept the harsh truth behind the man you so dearly loved.

“Does he know that you… know?” Minseok was obviously careful in choosing his words, not wanting to upset a pregnant friend.

“You think I’ll be here if he’s aware that I know his dirty secret?” You said with a humorless laugh. “I don’t think I’d even be alive if so.”

“Come on, it’s not the best money maker but Junmyeon wouldn’t kill you. Not in a million years.” You just responded by shaking your head. “But, why are you here? And why in a place like this? I mean, it’s nice that you’re independent. But… isn’t this a little too low for your taste?”

“My parents cut me off when they discovered I’m pregnant. I begged them not to tell Junmyeon, had to make an excuse in my own expense just for them to not to lash it out on him. Told them the baby wasn’t his, a result of a drunken one night stand at a high end bar. Told me I was a disgrace for letting such a man as Junmyeon go, called me a whore for being pregnant with a random stranger. So I guess here I am.” A bitter taste still lingers in your mouth as you relayed what hell you’ve went through.

“But you don’t need to go through all of these, you could tell Junmyeon and..” You decided to cut him off even before he finishes his ill advice.

“And have my child live off the money he makes by breaking the law and ruining people’s lives? I’d rather stay here, Min.” You stated, not even considering to bend your moral compass.

He just sat there, an uncomfortable silence grew between the two of you as he struggled to digest the information. Minseok looked as if he’s thinking for an advice he could give or any action he could take.

“I wouldn’t tell Junmyeon, I wouldn’t tell anyone in one condition.” He finally spoke, which you just nodded for him to proceed. “Let me help you. You’re still my friend, and Junmyeon is my friend, it would be rightful for me to help your child. I can’t let you stay here knowing a baby is on the way.”

“Another thing, you couldn’t stay here any longer. Junmyeon probably has his men tracked on you, and you need to lose them before your belly grows too much to hide. I know a place.”

Minseok kept in contact with you, and he kept his promise too. There has hardly been any indication that Junmyeon was aware of your whereabouts, or the fact that he knocked you up. Minseok was even the one to help you arrange fees in the hospital when you gave birth. He’s an heir to a trademarked coffee shop line that has hundreds of branches so you took no guilt in accepting his offer.

“We kinda lost contact after Jaejin turned two. What happened?” He asked, swirling the contents of his glass making a sound of ice and water splashing around.

“Found a guy, he served as Jaejin’s father at that time. So I figured that I should cut all possible ties with my ex.” You answered, still playing with the unfortunate apple with your right hand.

“Fair enough, I guess. You could only think of how shocked I am to see you in that mall. I don’t even know that you’re back here. I had no idea that I didn’t even think that child was Jaejin.” He suddenly said lightheartedly.

“Maybe it was inevitable.” You answered with a deep sigh.

“Yeah, it was bound to happen.” He replied back. “But he’s doing a great job as a father now, isn’t he? He’s nailing it.”

“I guess. He and Jaejin are inseparable now.” You said, accompanied by a slight chuckle.

“If it makes any difference…” He started as he stood up from his seat, leaving the now empty glass on the countertop. “The gifts were from Junmyeon. Tricked him with the fact that I signed him up as a foster father overseas to help him recover from you. So that’s pretty much it, until next time.” And with that, he left you alone in the kitchen still waiting for the cake to finish. And wondering about the what ifs and what could’ve beens.

The red-bottomed black stiletto heels that you had for years now fitted your feet perfectly as you cautiously walked down the pathway of an exclusive and undeniably expensive Chinese restaurant. The splendid and effeminate white dress clinging to your body in ways that made you feel confident to be in such a place.

“Reservation under Mr. Zhang?” You told the receptionist that wore a red cheongsam. She asked your name for confirmation before she asked one of the butlers to lead you to one of the distant tables.

And there you saw Yixing Zhang, clad in a wonderfully simple black blazer and white dress shirt. A humble outfit that only made his stature and facial features pop out from feet away. The place was exquisite yet he seemingly outshined all crystal chandeliers and golden adorned walls.

“You look fantastic.” He stood up from his seat as he kissed your hand, a trail of electricity climbing up your cheeks resulting to an unconcealable blush.

“You, too.” You answered as he pulled a seat for you. And they say that chivalry is dead but the epitome of a gentleman was living and breathing in front of you.

“Isn’t this a bit too much?” You whispered, a tad bit ashamed at the immense effort.

“I figured that you have a bit of expensive taste. It’s just right to be on your best foot at the first date, right?” Yixing answered, a smile slowly forming on his face and his eyes adorably forming a smile as he does so.

He willingly and enthusiastically introduced you to a myriad of chinese cuisine. Chatting over his childhood back in his motherland that was sparked in remembrance over the presence of cua pao and char siu. The funny stories of his nameless cat and his fond memories shared with his beloved mother. How he transferred from China to Korea for the better law education, and you just willingly listened and admired how animated his hands become while he speaks about something he’s passionate about. Waving his hands around as he hold his chopsticks makes him seem so alive and vibrant, yet his face still tells a story of seriousness and sincerity as a result of his years of law practice.

“How about you? Why stop on being a paralegal? Haven’t you dreamt of pursuing law school?” Yixing asked with his eyes full of earnest intent to listen. And you feel your mood slip down, if the tables have turned and you’re now the subject, it was inevitable to admit who you really are - a mother. And you’re scared of losing this spark that you’re enjoying once he knows the truth.

“That has been my lifelong dream, honestly. But things came up, change of plans…” You delayed your revelation. It’s not that you’re ashamed of Jaejin, it’s more of being afraid of being deemed unworthy over again.

“What change of plans?” He asked as he wiped the sweet and sour sauce on his lips with the table napkin.

“Got pregnant.” You answered simply, trying to put it lightly.

Yixing visibly stalled in front of you, trying hard to digest the bomb you just dropped. And you understand his shock, it’s not the first time a promising date went downhill by the fact. But it still made you a tad bit sad that Yixing’s not an exception.

“Dealbreaker?” You tried to chuckle. “I’m sorry for dropping the truth a bit too late. This dinner was going well but I couldn’t let it go on without you knowing.” You shook your head.

“What? No! It’s not a dealbreaker. It’s… awesome.” Yixing’s charm filled dimples presented itself yet again while he smiled. “I just… I didn’t expect you to be a mother. You don’t look like one just yet.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” You said with a smile.

“So how old is he.. He or she?” He asked again, and you could feel like he was sincerely interested in talking about Jaejin. “Wait, you’re not married right?”

“Jaejin, my son, is 6 years old. And yes, I’m not married.” You said with a smile.

“I know this is a sensitive subject but, where’s Jaejin’s father?”

“We live with him, just for the past few months. But we’re not together. We’re civil just for the sake of Jaejin.” You explained.

“So, coparenting?” He asked again.

“Yes, I think you could call it like that.” You answered again, and a period of short silence enveloped the two of you before you spoke again. “Is it really okay with you? I mean, I totally understand if it puts you off I-”

“No! I promise it’s not a problem for me. It made me even more interested in you, really. It painted a whole new aspect of you for me, stronger.” Yixing had a happy tone which made you breathe in relief. “Right now I’m just really looking forward on the day I meet Jaejin.”

And it was needless to say that put a smile on your face and lit a new fire in your heart.

“Is this where you live?” Yixing asked as the automated gates of Junmyeon’s mansion open and he started driving in. You answered a silent yup, trying to digest the clashing of worlds, the new one just ever so casually driving his car in the turf of your old. “So this is your ex’s place?”

“Yeah.” You answered with a low breath.

“You’re uncomfortable?” He asked with a chuckle. “Yeah, me too. This is unusual.” He remarked as he parked right at the front of the huge carved wood main doors and the large white marble fountain.

“So, thank you for tonight?” Yixing spoke again. “And I sincerely hope this wouldn’t be the last. I mean it.”

“I don’t think it would be.” You answered comfortably.

Yixing went out of the car and around to your door as he opened it. The manly smell of his perfume overtaking your senses and now your face is only a few inches from his. You could almost feel your face gravitate to his until a voice called your name behind him.

“Junmyeon…” You quickly fixed the way you stood and closed the door of his car. “This is.. This is,” Your hands moved in an awkward way.

“Attorney Zhang.” Junmyeon suddenly muttered, finishing your sentence for himself.

“Mr. Kim, it’s been a while.” And you swear you could feel the tension rise between the two as you stood there mind boggled on the fact that they’re aware of each other’s existence. Like two overlapping circles on a venn diagram.

“You know each other?” You cluelessly asked, head turning back and forth between the two men who had their eyes intensely looking at each other, almost boring a hole at each other’s heads.

“You could say that we have a bit of a history.” Yixing answered, a dry smile trying to facade the growing friction reflected in his eyes.

#junmyeon #junmyeon imagine #junmyeon fanfic #Suho #suho imagine #exo imagine #exo fanfic #exo suho #exo mafia

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marshmallow-phd · 6 years ago

Text

Charming Instruction

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Supernatural, Wolf Au

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader

Summary: You were just an average, everyday college student desperately trying to graduate. Only one more year stood between you and that celebratory walk. However, due to an oversight by your adviser, it seemed that the one class you never wanted to take was required to take that walk. It wasn’t the subject matter that made you uncomfortable. It was the teacher. Your heart sped up every time you saw him and you didn’t want that distraction in your life, attractive or not. With meeting him now an inevitability, you swore that you would keep your hormones in check. But after your first day of class, a series of hi jinks and weird situations lead you to discovering the secret of your professor and why he seemed to bombard your every thought.

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I Final

Junmyeon didn’t lead you too far into the woods. He stuck to the tree line, pulling you in close once he was leaning up against a sizable trunk that kept you somewhat hidden from the house. Hands resting on your hips, he leaned his forehead on yours and sighed deeply.

You could tell he was still stressing over the meeting. Perhaps he was expecting more concern and questioning from the pack rather than the nonchalant reception that was bestowed upon him instead. While you didn’t know the boys all that well, they all seemed to give off that carefree vibe, which was possibly be the bane of Junmyeon’s existence, if you had to guess. But that probably just came with the territory of being a leader. And being the mate of the leader, you figured it was your job to help him stop worrying.

“Just give them a little time,” you reassured him as you rubbed his arms. “Soon, they’ll take it more seriously. It’s just because the information is so vague at this time, they don’t know what to be cautious of. So, they blow it off rather than stressing about something they have no control over.”

Junmyeon pouted, squeezing your sides. “Then why am I stressing about it?”

“Well, I don’t know too much about werewolf pack dynamics….” You scrunched your face mischievously, “But I’m pretty sure it has to do with the fact that you’re the leader and it’s kind of your job to worry over every little thing.”

“I do not worry about every little thing,” he protested.

This was coming from the same person who didn’t tell you the truth about the connection between the two of you because he was overthinking on whether or not you would hightail it out of here and leave him in the dust. Granted, you didn’t give him much hope for any other outcome, but still.

You held your thumb and index finger up, leaving a minuscule amount of space in between. “You do. Just a little bit.”

Junmyeon opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it, sighing heavily. “Okay. Maybe a little. But someone has to worry about these things or else we’ll all be doomed.”

“Well, then I guess it’s a good thing that you’re the leader instead of one of the others.”

He let out a short laugh. “Well, me and Kris. And it was nice that he-”

A little over the current discussion, you simply pressed your lips against Junmyeon’s for a quick kiss to stop his talking. Well, it was supposed to be a quick kiss.

Catching the back of your neck with his hand before you could pull away, Junmyeon deepened the display of affection, taking full advantage of the isolation. Under your palms that were resting on his chest, you could feel his content purr vibrating both you and him. The sensation made you giggle. Junmyeon broke off the kiss at the sound.

“What’s so funny?” he murmured, frowning at you.

“You’re like a cat,” you chuckled. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.

Junmyeon scoffed, the corners of his mouth turning up in astonishment. His eyes turned back to you, “Do you realize how insulting that is?”

“Um, sorry?” you snorted. He did not find it as funny. “It’s not my fault! You were purring!”

“I was happy! I can’t control it!” he whined.

You rolled your eyes. “I was just saying that it was cute!”

“Hardly the word I want to hear in the middle of kissing you,” he grumbled.

Stepping back, you crossed your arms, just staring at him. He kept pouting, just making him even cuter.

It was ridiculous. The big alpha wolf wanted to be seen as anything but cute. But he made it hard with that fluffy brown hair, puckered lips, and big, round brown eyes gazing at you. You almost wanted to snap a picture of it, but that didn’t feel appropriate in the moment. Honestly, it felt silly, him taking offense to that four letter word, but it wasn’t worth starting an argument.

You threw your hands up. “Okay. Fine. I won’t call you cute anymore. Never again. I will purge that word from my vocabulary unless I’m talking about a puppy or small child.”

Junmyeon’s eyebrows shot up to nearly his hairline. “I didn’t say that.”

Narrowing your eyes and smirking, you teased, “So, you do want me to call you cute?”

He shrugged, hands in his pockets. “I wouldn’t mind it under certain circumstances. Just not when I’m kissing you. Because that makes me want to show you exactly how not ‘cute’ I can be.”

Now that kind of had you taken back. “Are you sure you’re a college professor? Because you are acting a bit more more like a college boy right now.”

With a predatory gleam in those russet eyes, Junmyeon stalked towards you. Instinctively, you stumbled back until your back hit a tree, the curved edges of the bark piercing your shoulder blades.

Your breath quicken and you couldn’t stop the audible gulp in your throat from how much like a wolf he being. That reaction seemed to just egg Junmyeon on. He didn’t stop until the space between you was completely gone, a hand on each side of your hip to keep you in place. His lips were right against your ear as he whispered, “I’m only a professor on campus.”

Oh, that’s not good.

Junmyeon nibbled at your ear before moving down to your neck. You giggled anxiously. He’d never gone this far before. What really made you nervous was the fact that you didn’t want to stop.

“Junmyeon! Junmyeon, are you out here?!”

Junmyeon growled, slamming a fist into the bark above your head. “Oh, for crying out loud.”

You snorted, covering your mouth when Junmyeon shot you a look.

Chanyeol and Jongin came running through the trees. You straightened up, hoping that there was no evidence of what you and Junmyeon were doing left on your face.

“What is it?” Junmyeon asked grumpily. You could tell he was trying to remain calm and not be irritated at the boys in case it was a real emergency.

“Sorry to barge in,” Jongin actually looked really guilty, which made you want this whole thing end even quicker, “but no one can find Tao. Did he run past here?”

Junmyeon shook his head. “No, we haven’t. Why?”

“No one can find him,” Chanyeol explained. “He stormed off after the meeting. He seemed really pissed.”

“That’s not good.” Junmyeon ran a hand through his hair before glancing at you. Turning back to the other wolves, he asked, “Did you see what direction he took off in?”

“He went out the front door,” Jongin replied.

“So, you think he went into town?” Junmyeon guessed.

Chanyeol shrugged. “Maybe? And you know Tao when he’s mad. He doesn’t really have the best control.”

“Alright.”

You could see how reluctant Junmyeon was to be the leader, to go after his wayward member, but it was an instinct that he couldn’t ignore.

“I guess I’ll go track him down,” Junmyeon sighed.

“I need to go back into town anyway,” you inserted. Maybe if you were the one to take him, he’d be less pouty about it.

“Luhan wants to go with you,” Chanyeol added. “Said if anything, he can drag Tao to the empty bar while he does opening work.”

Junmyeon nodded. “Okay, then. Let’s go.”

The four of you headed inside, grabbing Luhan before splitting off and going back outside to your car.

It wasn’t a very chatty car ride. Luhan stayed quiet in the back seat while Junmyeon held your hand from the passenger’s seat. He made random comments about the area’s history or how the road needed repaving every once in a while.

Apparently, Tao preferred to hang out downtown, so that’s where you dropped the two wolves off. You told Junmyeon that he could find you at the museum once he was done. When he questioned why you would go there, you simply shrugged and said to kill time.

That wasn’t entirely a lie. You really did like to spend free time at the museum, wandering around and trying to find new pieces to memorize.

But today you had a little mission.

Even though Junmyeon said he’d already gone through the little book of his family’s history, you thought that maybe a fresh pair of eyes could pick up some new clues.

Mrs. Kang wasn’t surprised to see you at all when she saw you in the main lobby. Junmyeon had told you earlier in the week that he had you added to the very limited list of people with access to the back room. Mrs. Kang handed you a key card with no hesitation and left you to go on your merry way. Getting a pair of cotton gloves from the supply closet, you buckled yourself down at the table in Junmyeon’s secret room after carefully taking out the book from its resting place.

You flipped through the pages slowly, gliding your eyes over the heavily faded words. Some paragraphs were almost completely illegible from the old ink wearing away with age. One particularly worn page caught your eye about halfway through the book. The edges were particularly feathered and torn, giving you the impression that this page’s contents were immensely important in the past. Almost all the writing was gone on the pages, but certain words you were able to make out.

Enemies.

Beware.

Hunted.

Future encounters.

Bingo.

At the very bottom of the page, underneath the missing information was a familiar looking symbol still present enough to make out. It was a circle overlapping three points. That could be the clue you were looking for in order to keep the pack - Junmyeon’s family - safe. But where did you take it from here?

Junmyeon came to the museum about forty-five minutes later, finding you in the “caveman” section, as Cam liked to describe it.

“Finding anything new and interesting?” he teased as he came up behind you, encircling his arms around your waist.

You shrugged lazily. “Perhaps. Did you find Tao?”

Junmyeon scoffed. “Yeah, he’s been found. But he’d ran off in the forest, not to town. Apparently, he just ran in a different direction than where we were.”

“Poor leader.” You turned around in his arms, linking your own around his neck. “It’s so hard being you.”

That just made him roll his eyes. “You’re so mean to me.”

You motioned to exit with your head. “Come on. Since I’m so mean, dinner’s on me.”

Junmyeon made his impressed face, the kind he made when a student in class gave him an answer he wasn’t expecting. “I like that idea. And I think I know just the place.”

Triquetragirl49: I’m glad that the new article helped!

Archaeology4life: It was a great read! Thank you!

Triquetragirl49: How’s the paper coming?

Archaeology4life: Not too bad! Teacher’s a hardass, though. Lol

Triquetragirl49: Well, hopefully he’ll at least enjoy your paper on irish werewolves.

Archaeology4life: Fingers crossed! If I don’t get an A, I might have to complain to the dean. Jk

Triquetragirl49: Remind me again why you were focusing on that subject?

Archaeology4life: I just came across something about werewolves and a connection to the triquetra in some research. I was surprised that they were both related to protection.

Triquetragirl49: Kind of related. Werewolves were still considered dangerous and best for everyone to stay away from them.

Triquetragirl49: At least, according to the legends, that is. Considering they’re not real!

Archaeology4life: I’m sure if wolves were real, they wouldn’t be dangerous.

Triquetragirl49: You never know. There’s a lot of scary stories out there lol.

Archaeology4life: Yeah… you’re right lol

Archaeology4life: Thank you again!

Triquetragirl49: Of course! Just let me know if you want to know anything else! I’ve enjoyed talking to you!

Archaeology4life: Same!

“What are you smiling at?”

You slammed the screen of your laptop shut just as Junmyeon slid into the empty space across from you in the breakfast booth. Since he had a department meeting this evening, you’d beaten him to the farmhouse and decided to kill some time by getting back in touch with your new internet friend.

Finding triquetagirl49 in a folklore chat room on a history website had been pure luck and she’d giving you so much information on how that old celtic symbol could be related to werewolves. It seemed more like a good thing, representing protection for both humans and wolves alike. You weren’t sure when you should share this information with Junmyeon or exactly how to present it, so you decided for now to just keep it to yourself for the time being.

“Funny article on The Mummy trilogy,” you lied smoothly.

He shook his head, laughing to himself. “You and those movies. Don’t you have them memorized by now?”

“Maybe,” you pouted. “We can watch something else, though, if you want. Or do something else. We don’t have to watch a movie.”

Junmyeon held out two hands, moving them up and down like a pair of scales. “Let’s see… hold my mate close on my bed while we watch her favorite movie or do something else that involves less intimate time and possibly run into someone else in the pack.” He gave you a pointed look. “I think movie wins.”

You beamed. “Good!” Hopping up, you started for the staircase. “Let’s go!”

Junmyeon laughed as he followed you up to his bedroom. By luck, a majority of the wolves were out and about with their mates on this beautiful friday night. Since you and your wolf still had to be careful about who saw you together, it was a night in for the pair of you. But you didn’t mind. In fact, you had been looking forward to it all week.

Jumping on the bed, you pushed yourself all the way up to the headboard while Junmyeon turned on the TV and readied the movie before heading into the bathroom. While you waited on him, you fluffed up the pillows to make yourself more comfortable.

When he emerged from the bathroom, you tried to keep your focus on the bright screen. Junmyeon had decided that it was completely appropriate to come out in just a pair of sweatpants. Just sweatpants. No shirt.

He was such a tease.

You made no protest as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in close to him. Leaning your head on his chest, you watched the movie for a good fifteen minutes or so until the scene with Rachel Weisz in the museum, knocking over the bookshelves and creating that cringe-worthy disaster came on the screen.

That’s when Junmyeon got a little restless.

At first, he was just playing with your fingers and planting kisses on your shoulder. Then he moved his lips up to your neck, tickling the sensitive skin. Out of reflex, you flinched into the kiss, closing off access from Junmyeon.

“It’s cute that you know every word,” he whispered. It was obvious that he cared nothing for the movie and he was just trying to distract you and maybe even give him all your attention instead.

Taking the bait, you turned to tell him to be quiet. Before one word could escape your lips, he’d captured them in his own. You never saw another minute of the movie, too preoccupied to pay it any mind.

Oh, well. There was always next time and your wolf needed your special attention.

#exo #exo fanfiction #exo fanfic #exo wolf au #exo wolf!au #exo werewolf au #exo werewolf!au #junmyeon x reader #kim junmyeon #suho #exo series #exo supernatural au #Charming Instruction #untamed wolf universe

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comicteaparty · 5 years ago

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February 10th-February 16th, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from February 10th, 2020 to February 16th, 2020. The chat focused on Betrayal by Alex Lewis.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Betrayal by Alex Lewis~! (https://alexmakescomics.com/betrayal/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until February 16th, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content? 8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Delphina

Just finished reading! I really found the part with Aune's "book of secrets" such a heartbreaking sequence. Alex using the blue pen kind of reinforces the themes of differentness and being an outsider not only in her outside world, but even just in the context of being honest about her own feelings. https://alexmakescomics.com/2019/06/07/chapter-six/

I also really felt for her in Chapter 8, when talking about her relationship with Aune and saying "the more time I spent with her, the more of myself I lost trying to keep up with her. It didn't matter to me at all. I liked myself better when I was with her." Just again, this theme of finding something to define herself when she'd been adrift, but not always in an honest or healthy way. https://alexmakescomics.com/2019/08/11/chapter-eight/

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

I like the art style - it's very unique!

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I like the way the comic ends on sort of an open-ended note. It's not very often that we get completed comics here on CTP, and I think this comic's ending is weirdly satisfying in its incompleteness. Like we don't know whether Aune and Alex make up, but we know that they're both open to it, y'know? I also looked into the Harold Pinter play Betrayal (which this comic is partially based off), and it's pretty interesting the ways they're similar and different. Like the story regards a group of friends and their romantic relationships (and them betraying each other, of course), but the main group of characters is two girls and one boy rather than two men and one woman. I'm curious how many of the changes are due to it being partially a memoir of the author's life and how many are the result of just creating an interesting fictional story about high schoolers.

I also really like the comic's use of flashbacks to tell Alex's story - flashing back to her childhood contextualizes her experiences as a highschooler really well.

RebelVampire

I really like in general how the story is told with a non-linear timeline. Not a lot of stories can actually pull them off successfully, because you run a high risk of confusing the audience. However, despite this one time jumping around a lot, it was never confusing. I think I chalk this up to the fact that the focus on the comic is not the plot itself but the relationships. So you don't need to know the timeline exactly to be able to empathize, experience, and understand what is going on in the relationships. So this is something I really enjoy about the comic. I really love non-linear when it's done well, and this is done well in that regard.

What I enjoy about the beginning of the comic is just how damn awkward everything is. Like, everything about their interactions is exactly why ill never go to a high school reunion. Cause there's this expectation to be super impressed with ppl (hence shallow comments) while also being a mind reader (like knowing someone doesnt go by an old name anymore). It's embarrassing and horrible and the comic really hit at some of my deeper social anxieties that while I've grown from, never will quite be gone. So bravo for making benign horror XD(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Woah, I was not expecting to read a completed comic here! That was a nice change of pace. I really agree with the people praising the non-linear timeline. Using a highschool reunion as a framing device was an excellent decision

I wonder if the main character was gay or asexual?

Alex_makes_comics

Hello, I'm Alex. I made this comic - and I'm crying reading your comments. I've never had people review this book before. Some of the chapters only had about two views before this week so... This is very big for me. Hooboy. In answer to ongoing questions: changes to the Betrayal script from Harold Pinter's play were made to make it fit my experiences. The play is always a question of who is betraying who in a toxic love triangle. It's a jumping off point for me to talk about my memories. I went to see it and it hit a chord, after which I immediately sat down and wrote this. I love how the title of the play conceals who is betraying who: betrayal is a flexible concept. Hiding behind Pinter's words meanwhile ,when I have to, makes it easier to share my memories with others without self censoring. I am always terrified of people I know reading this book! In answer to the question of orientation, I'm bisexual if that helps anyone

RebelVampire

My favorite moment in the comic I would say is the ending. I like that it's open-ended and that there's no clear leaning one way or another. It's kind of up to the reader to judge the events they just saw. Not to mention, I feel the open-ending nature fits the mood of the comic in that relationships aren't straight forward and constantly in a flux. So having the ending be not entirely clear suits that well. As for a favorite character, I'm honestly not sure I could pick one in this case. Everyone is so human and I feel like picking a favorite would kind of be like picking a side. Or kind of like your friends trying to ask you to rank them in terms of how much you like them. That would be a challenge I'm not up for in this case. As for interactions, definitely Alex and Aune. The relationship there is fascinating from the way the story is told, so I'm never quite sure what to make of it, especially when knowing how the relationship sours. And since its through their interactions we get to know Aune, it almost feels like a character study in a way whenever the two interact.

Before I blather too much in one day, one thing I like about the comic is how different the kid versions of the characters look as opposed to the adults. I feel it's more true to life since a lot of adults do change a ton from how they looked at kids. So while theres definitely similarities, the age progression just felt really natural.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I agree with what Rebel said about the age progression feeling natural. If I could describe this comic in one word, I would maybe choose "realistic."

It does a great job of protraying that feeling of growing up and leaving things behind

Emotions and drama that feel so important as a child and as a high schooler turn out to really not matter that much at all

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. Given the story’s title, in what ways do we see betrayal throughout the story, and which moment stuck out to you the most regarding the subject? What can be learned from the story in regards to dealing with it?

10. What do you think the story can teach us regarding the nature of relationships and how they change as we grow older? In what ways do these events perhaps relate to your own life or what about the storytelling makes them relatable in general?

11. What do you think the story has to say about growing up in general, both in regards to how we change and how the people around us change? If applicable, why do you think coming of age stories like this are important?

12. How do you interpret the end of chapter 10 where Alex and Aune finally interact? What do you think each character is feeling? Overall, do you think their relationship can be repaired after the damage is done?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

12) i didbt read the ending as starting to repair a relationship. I saw it as leaving your past behind. Also she doesn't seem to understand the damage she did to their relationship, so i don't think the main character would want to reconnect

Kabocha

Oh, dang. So I just binged the entirety of this comic, and there's something about this that feels a little... close to home, I guess? I really empathize with Alex -- the feeling of having someone who you love just kind of up and ditch you like that... That hurts. Granted, her situation was a bit more complicated, but... hhh. I think at best, she might go the route of wanting to be friendly with Aune later, but it just isn't gonna work out. That pain still exists, and even if Aune is past it, Alex pretty clearly isn't. And I think it's understandable. It's not a grudge, but more like that kind of awkward avoidance because you don't wanna get hurt again. just... aaaaaaaaaa. This was a very good read. Thank you @Alex_makes_comics.

RebelVampire

I do think what @Eightfish (Puppeteer) touched onto is the comic's strength: realism. Every event in this comic is so relateable since I think everyone can say they've at least been in a similar situation at least one of those times. So it forms a real connection with the reader so easily, thus allowing it to pull on the heart strings. Let's talk about themes and stuff though! So for in regards to betrayal, the moment that stuck out to me the most was the classroom convo between Alex and Aune where Aune is kind of distant and doesn't seem to really like anyone anymore and wants Alex to do break up dirty work. The reason this stuck with me is you can so clearly see it as a betrayal, and yet at the same time, it's such a benign thing. Like nobody is being literally stabbed in the back, nobody is having money stolen, no one is stealing anybody's lover. It's just...distance and a friendship falling apart for various reasons. Which I think is really the sad part. Since rather than dealing with betrayal, I think this story shows the many different forms it can take. And that sometimes its not this overdramatic thing. Sometimes its a slow burn that just singes for hours and hours.

However, I do like the story's maturity in that it shows us relationships are hard and need active maintenance. Cause without that, they fall apart. Additionally, as we grow older, its sad but common place friendships wont last. People change all the times, especially interests. So in the end those changes will drive people apart. At the very least I certainly haven't talked to my high school friends in years since many of them moved, got married, had kids, etc. Even during high school I had friends drift away. And I think these are pretty universal experiences, which is what I think makes the storytelling as relateable as it is.

As for the end, I kind of interpret it as "not ready." From the expressions, I think both Alex and Aune clearly felt awkward. Like the elephant in the room. They both wanted to talk about it seriously, but also both didn't want to talk about it. Too many feelings still fresh, coupled with maybe not enough desire to fix everything yet. So while I do believe most relationships can be repaired given time and effort, both parties need to be ready. And I just don't see that happening yet from how things ended.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Kabocha

As I said before, I'm really glad I read this. It felt very personal, and it was kinda cathartic to read! It also was kind of nice to see someone else kinda express the awkwardness of meeting again with someone who you felt hurt by. And just... Yeah. Thank you for this comic.

Alex_makes_comics

Hi, Everybody. I'm not sure if this is the last day of Betrayal book club, or if tomorrow counts still, but I wanted to use this opportunity to thank everyone for reading and engaging with my work, before you start on the next webcomic. I have never been through a process like this. Most of the time, I make comics and release them into the internet, never to be seen again. It's a long and lonely process, full of self questioning and self doubt. You've all really restored my confidence. Just knowing that you read and genuinely got what I was trying to achieve is amazing. I was worried about the ending of chapter 11, that it might put readers off, but seeing you all bouncing ideas off each other about "will they"/ "won't they" get back together reassures me that I did the right thing. This was my first completed graphic novel,and I have learned a bit since making it. I am currently working on draft 2, which involves a full redraw. I have about half of the book done. The redraw is going to be 30% more cartoony in style, to give the book a clearer aesthetic. I am aiming for stronger lines and colour themes. I'm also adding new pages throughout. Part of this is to have Aune more visible in the background of scenes between Alex and Jonas, because they're all in one school: you can't avoid people completely in these situations. I'm also making some of the school scenes noisier to play on the "benign horror" elements - thank you for this term, Rebel Vampire! My goal is to redraw everything, update the website, then print a small batch to sell at cons. If anything bugged you about the current draft that you think I have to know, you are more than welcome to tell me. Otherwise, in case you want to know when the new version is out, I have a mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/e64c62c2d202/alexmakescomics Thank you again for everything. You really don't know how much you've helped me these two weeks. It's been mind blowing.

RebelVampire

What I'm most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic is just more people finding it. It's a really touching, raw, and personally gripping story. Not only is the storytelling well-done with its use of time, but just overall, its one of the few stories where I can actually say it really got me thinking about life, relationships, and other things. And not a lot of comics can do that.

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Betrayal this week! Please also give a special thank you to Alex Lewis for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Betrayal, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://alexmakescomics.com/betrayal/

Alex’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/alexmakescomics

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #comic tea party #ctp #betrayal #Alex Lewis

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fontainebleau22 · 6 years ago

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Box of Frogs (Part 7)

From @tramstrams‘ not-at-all-serious prompt, ‘an AU with magic, but something has gone terribly awry and people are being turned into frogs. Only Sam Chisolm can stop this madness’.

Part 1 here. Part 2 here. Part 3 here. Part 4 here. Part 5 here. Part 6 here.

---

‘What about your jobs?’ asked Emma. ‘Wasn’t there trouble about the time you’d missed?’

For a group of men who’d spent a week as frogs they seemed surprisingly unresentful, yet a residual guilt kept her prodding at the topic. On a golden afternoon like this, though, it seemed difficult for anyone to hold a grudge: the park was busy with sunbathers, frisbee-players, and old ladies sitting primly on benches gossiping with the pigeons.

They’d found a secluded spot under the trees where they could sprawl out on the grass: Red was setting up a barbecue while Jack unpacked an apparently bottomless cooler of food, and to Emma’s relief Gavin had ignored the promise of sausages and lolloped off to join in chasing the frisbee.

Faraday shrugged cheerfully. ‘Boss was pissed off I hadn’t turned up for a week, but just happened they’d had a big order come in that morning that he needs me to deal with, so it all worked out OK.’

Ale stretched lazily with just the smallest of sparkles to draw attention to the shift of his muscles. ‘Maria started shouting when I showed up at the cafe, but I smiled at her some and next thing she was feeding me blueberry pie to make up for all the crickets.’

Billy cracked one eye open from where he was lying with his head in Goodnight’s lap. ‘I just told them I was back and they should pay me for the break.’

The week since she’d met them all in such inauspicious circumstances had been like being picked up by a tornado, but in a good way: from that strange first evening when Josh had led them charging out to celebrate being human again, this ill-assorted group had adopted her into effortless friendship, filling her empty days with argument and activity and anchoring her again in the here-and-now.

Billy shifted a little, squinting against the sun in his eyes. ‘Teddy, could you?’ Goody asked at once. Teddy leaned over to lay a hand on the trunk and concentrated: the tree obligingly rearranged its branches to shade Billy’s face. ‘Better, cher?’ asked Goody solicitously.

Ale tsked disapprovingly. ‘He was just the same when you were a frog: humidity this, fruit flies that, is the heat lamp strong enough...’

‘Goody always takes care of me,’ said Billy with smug satisfaction.

‘Only the best for you, sweetheart,’ agreed Goody, stroking his hair. ‘Though I hope they’ll give me a refund on the equipment.’

‘I saw the size of his tank, with all those leaves and the little stream and everything,’ groused Faraday. ‘Mine don’t look much in comparison. You could’ve put more effort in.’

Ale batted at him, irritated. ‘I don’t know what you’re complaining about – I looked after you perfectly well.’

‘I was a frog the longest,’ declared Josh with a perverse pride. ‘What if I’d dried out? You could have got me one of those fancy misting sprays.’

‘Guero, I swear…’ Ale lunged up to tackle him, sending the two of them rolling on the grass; at that precise moment the Frisbee came zipping in, skimmed harmlessly over Josh’s head and bounced off Sam’s ear.

‘Damnation,’ said Sam resignedly; Gavin raced up, grabbed the frisbee and charged off again.

Ale had Josh pinned, knees on his shoulders, grinning as he squirmed. ‘I got in the tank with you, ingrato – did Goody do that?’

‘Not for lack of trying,’ said Sam, shuffling over to let Goody run a hand over his rapidly-rising bump.

Emma let the good-natured bickering fade into the background, closing her eyes to appreciate the warmth of the sun on her face, the rustling breeze in the branches above and the sound of distant excited barks.

Her grief was always with her, the sense of absence at her side a constant, but now as well there were Jack and Goody, gentlemanly and courteous, Teddy and Red with their shy smiles, Josh and Ale with jokes to distract her. You’d have liked them, she told Matthew silently. She opened her eyes again to Sam’s concerned gaze, and when she smiled he came to settle beside her on the plaid rug in wordless sympathy.

‘You know he kissed you to see if it would turn you back?’ Teddy was asking Billy.

‘Billy is attractive in every form,’ declared Goody, unabashed.

‘Oh, please.’ Josh pulled a face.

‘If anyone was a handsome frog,’ asserted Ale, ‘it was me.’

Teddy snorted. ‘You? You were just a green blob.’ Ale choked in outrage and Teddy smirked. ‘You had no neck.’

‘I have to say that Teddy’s right,’ agreed Goodnight, ‘you were a singularly unattractive frog. Plain as anything.’

‘Josh didn’t think so,’ said Ale, nettled.

Goodnight sat up straight and fixed them both with a severe gaze. ‘Do you have any idea what it was like once I put you in the tank with him? It was worse than the Discovery Channel – I was going to buy a screen.’

Gavin came galloping back to collapse panting at Emma’s side, and she buried a hand in his fur. Red appeared silently with a bowl of water which he placed in front of him, and Emma nodded her thanks as Gavin slurped enthusiastically at it. ‘You might want to be careful with the meat...’

They both looked over to Jack, pulling a string of sausages from his cooler. ‘No need to worry,’ he called heartily: he arranged the sausages precisely on the grill, then handed the tongs to Red and squatted down to scrub fearlessly through Gavin’s fur. Gavin writhed in delight. ‘We understand each other, don’t we?’ cooed Jack, and Emma stifled a stab of amusement at the similarity between the burly high-voiced man and her sofa cushion of a dog.

‘I hope you weren’t too inconvenienced by being…’

‘…a bullfrog?’ Jack beamed. ‘I found the whole experience quite refreshing, and Goodnight kept me out of harm’s way. He raised himself a little and put a hand to his chest formally. ‘Your hospitality was much appreciated, Goody.’

Goodnight looked pleased, though slightly puzzled. ‘I’m not sure I’d call a week in my bathtub hospitality, but you’re very welcome.’

‘Look,’ said Billy suddenly, ‘isn’t that Mrs McCann?’

Emma craned round and there indeed was Thelma, strolling along the footpath in the company of a tall ginger-haired man in a well-cut suit.

‘Is that her husband?’ Ale sounded incredulous and Emma couldn’t contain a giggle.

‘No.’ They watched as the man drew Thelma to a halt in front of a rosebush; he reached out a hand theatrically and it burst into flower, the buds swelling and opening to full bloom.

‘Nice work,’ approved Teddy. The man picked one and offered it to Thelma with a flourish; she took it, eyes lowered coyly.

‘I did go over there and offer to turn Thomas back,’ said Emma thoughtfully, ‘but she said it might be best to wait a while.’ Ale nodded understandingly and they watched the pair of them wander away.

‘Though if you’re still game for some frogging…’ Emma turned to Josh warily, but winked, unabashed. ‘This oily little guy’s started hanging round the cafe, Bogue he calls himself, and Maria thinks he’s working to undercut her franchise: maybe you could come and have a look at him?’

‘You can’t solve every problem with frogs,’ said Emma primly, aware of Sam raising his eyebrows beside her, but Ale grinned brightly. ‘I think this is one you can.’

Calm had finally settled, everyone relaxed in the sun as the scent of browning meat drifted appetisingly on the air; Billy and Goody laughed low together and Gavin’s tail thumped lazily.

A striped balloon came bouncing over the grass towards Ale, its string trailing, chased by a small girl in dungarees. ‘Here, mija,’ said Ale obligingly, reaching for the string.

‘No!’ shouted the girl, skidding to a halt; Ale had already plucked the balloon from the air and made to hold it out to her, but as he did so his arm jerked up and he started to rise from the ground, tugged smoothly upwards. ‘What the…!’

‘Let go, quick,’ pleaded the girl; Ale, already at head height, looked down in consternation.

‘Your face!’ cackled Josh gleefully.

‘Don’t just stand there, grab his feet!’ Teddy jumped, but Ale had drifted beyond his reach.

Emma turned to Sam. ‘Aren’t you going to do anything?’

‘Nope,’ said Sam contentedly, settling his hat over his eyes.

‘These things have a habit of working out on their own,’ Goodnight assured her, Billy still comfortable in his lap.

‘How high is he likely to go, miss?’ Jack asked the girl, and she shrugged helplessly. ‘Heavy people go up faster’n me.’

‘Red?’ asked Jack, and there was a flutter of feathers as his companion launched himself upwards. ‘He can puncture it with his talons, let him down gently.’

‘Noo!’ the girl’s wail of protest faded as she raced off after Red, waving her arms.

‘Wait till you’re over the trees and then let go,’ called Teddy as he and Josh followed the ever-rising Ale across the meadow.

‘Or see if you can drift over the lake,’ offered Josh, earning a faint, ‘Pendejo’ in return.

Emma hesitated. Should she follow? Turning Ale back to a frog could hardly help at this stage, and no one else seemed worried; Jack was once more clattering industriously at the grill.

‘Hey, Sam,’ added Goodnight idly, ‘how was your thing? Never did get the chance to ask about it.’

‘Good,’ said Sam from underneath his hat, ‘always worth it.’

‘Never heard you say different,’ approved Goodnight. He settled himself more comfortably against his treetrunk.

‘And you?’ asked Emma. ‘You had the hardest week of anyone…’ The thought of how distraught he’d been still brought a pang, but Goodnight cut her off with a flashing grin.

‘I’m fine – we all are.’

‘Well, not Ale right at this moment,’ interposed Sam cheerfully. From the corner of her eye Emma could see a small crowd beginning to gather, shouting advice and holding outspread blankets.

She turned back to Goodnight. ‘Truly?’

Goodnight looked down fondly at Billy, dozing in his lap, then winked at her. ‘Fine as a frog’s hair split four ways.’

---

#fics #mag7 #the magnificent seven #box of frogs #the end #i have written 12000 words of this tomfoolery

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heartcravings · 6 years ago

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50 Questions Tag!

@jongin-be-my-jagi tagged me for this a while ago, but I took my sweet time to answer. Here is my secret intel if you want to know me a little bit more!! Check hers as well, she’s an amazing writer and friend. 1. What takes up too much of your time? Tumblr, my stupid procrastination prone brain and my thesis.

2. What makes your day better? Friends and loved ones, music and these absolute dorks (Channie especially)

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? I hopped on the mat today in the early hours of the morning, rain on my window and the neighbours cat peeking at me from his window across the street.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? Wonderland, bacause it’s “curiouser and curiouser!”

'Who are you?' said the Caterpillar. Alice replied, rather shyly, 'I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'

5. Are you good at giving advice? I think so. Not so good at following my own advice though. I do always consider where the other is standing and if I don’t know how to proceed then I’ll just be honest and say I can’t help. But i’ll always listen with my heart.

6. Do you have any mental illnesses? Not diagnosed. I do think i might be going through something now.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, but i have a recurring nightmare: the world is made of black and white paper thin layers. I am a paper thin person walking along a street surrounded by paper thin buildings. I walk for a long time, looking up at the white sky. Until the street ends, there is no more building and i fall into the abyss of a blank page. I have had this dream since the age of 8 or 9 years old. Fear of not being good enough, you say?! Ding, ding, ding!! We got a winner in the back! 8. What musician inspired you the most? I get inspired by music all the time!! One of my all time favourite songs is Spanish Sahara by Foals. Its sublime!

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So I’d say I’m mainly inspired by these artists: Queen, Arctic Monkeys, Foals, Radiohead, Bowie, Daughter, Bob Dylan, Beirut, Yeah yeah yeahs, Arcade Fire, The National, Joy Division, Blur, Warpaint, Gorillaz, Sufjan Stevens, Bon Iver, Chet Baker, The Cure, Courtney Barnett, The Maccabees, Car Seat Headrest, Florence + The Machine, Editors, Kasabian, Crystal Fighters, Death Cab for a cutie, The Doors, Efterklang, Explosions in the Sky, Franz Ferdinand, The Horrors, James Blake, José Gonzalez, Los Campesinos!, Metronomy, Nick Cave, Nina Simone, Patrick Watson, Phoenix, Sharon Van Etten, The Shins, Simon & Garfunkel, The Smiths, St.Vincent, The Strokes, Toro y Moi, tricot, Tune-Yards, TV on the radio, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, The Vaccines, Vampire Weekend, The Velvet Underground, The War on Drugs, Wild Beasts and Yo La Tengo.

And the electro, pop and hip-hop groves of my heart: EXO, 2NE1, Janelle Monáe, Big Bang, Kris Wu,LCD soundsystem, SBTRKT, Childish Gambino, Frank Ocean, Kendrick Lamar and Daft Punk.

And special mentions to the portuguese ones (learning from yixing and promoting when i can :P): Capicua, Joana Espadinha, The Legendary Tigerman, Linda Martini, Mayra Andrade, Noiserv, Ornatos Violeta, Paus, Samuel Uria, You Can’t Win Charlie Brown and The Silence 4. I know, tldr right? Sorry folks! 9. Have you ever fallen in love? Yes I have. I have mistaken a crush for love too. But i have definitely been very deeply in love. A wrecked kintsugi heart over here people! 10. What’s your dream date? I don’t think I have one. I’d love to do something unique with that someone special, something special for the two of us. It could be as simple as riding the subway while sharing earphones & listening to our playlist or walking the dogs out! Idk, I’m easy to please. But right now it would have to be with this handsome man :D pretty please?!

11. What do others notice about you? I am very kind and warm hearted, so I think that’s what people first notice when meeting me. Although I maintain good eye contact, I am also timid and will be quieter if there are very energetic people in the group. When alone, I usually take the first step and try to meet people, but only if i really must. 12. What’s an annoying habit you have? It’s really hard for me to ask for help. I also like to tell detailed descriptions of everything... Couldn’t you tell? 13. Do you still talk to your first love? I’ll text him on his birthday and he does the same to me. We met when we were 10 years old and that childhood friendship remains. But regarding my one and truly deep relationship, no we do not talk, unless we randomly meet.

14. How many exes do you have? I have three exes. The first love who was just an idealized crush on my childhood friend: we dated for 2 weeks during summer break xD Then my first real boyfriend, we met in my first year at university, dated for quite some time, he really loved me and made me love myself a little more. Finally the one i loved too much. I mended his wounds and made him love himself as much as I did. I always say all the love we feel makes our hearts grow bigger. I do not regret loving any of them, I am me now due to them and I would not change it if I could. 15. How many songs are in your playlist? I have way too many playlists for each and every mood... But my favourite songs list on spotify has about 1500 songs! uwu! 16. What instruments can you play? Triangles and flute?! I had mandatory music classes in school... so in reality I can’t really play a instrument...

17. Who do you have the most pictures of? Probably my cat, Sushi. With a second close of my doodles and sketches.

18. Where would you like to go before you die? EVERY WHERE!!! But I really want to go to Japan and Scotland and Iceland and South Korea and New Zealand and i’ll shut up. 19. What’s your zodiac? Capricorn. 20. Do you relate to it? Sort of.

21. What is happiness to you? You know when it’s really cold outside in the winter and you manage to find a sheltered place where no wind can hit you and you still get to feel the warm rays of the winter suns on your skin? You hear the birds outside and you are contempt in that moment, at peace. That is happiness to me. 22. Are you going through anything right now? Yes, I am a bit lost. Trying to finish my thesis and trying to find what I want to do after. It’s liberating but also pretty scary. 23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? It’s a series of small decisions really. It started with going for a phd with the same people i worked in my msc. Should have gone to a different place. Then deciding to come home after a traumatic loss in the family. Should have kept my life going but I stalled it then. (I don’t regret helping my loved ones though).

24. What’s your favourite store? Probably Wishtrend for beauty stuff. Other than that I don’t have any favourite brands/stores. 25. (HALFWAY!) What’s your opinion on abortion? I think everyone is free to decide what they want or need to do. I couldn’t possible judge. If I would it? Probably not.

27. Do you have a favourite album? I don’t think so, I have favourite tunes for different moods and moments in my life. But if threatened with my life, I’d maybe say Total Life Forever from Foals.

28. What do you want for your birthday? It’s such a long time until my birthday comes! But maybe a real EXO ot9 reunion as a goodbye to Minseok?

29. What is most people’s first impression of you? Friendly and easy to open up to, i think.

30. What age do you seem according to most people? In real life, people usually think I am way younger than I am. 31. Where do you keep your phone when you’re sleeping? In the crook of my bed, between the mattress and the bed frame.

32. What word do you say the most? No idea really! 33. What’s the oldest age you’d date? 40s? I don’t think too much about age actually.

34. What’s the youngest age you’d date? 20s? Again not very important to me. Love is love, whomever, whenever and wherever <3

35. What job / career do most people say would suit you? I don’t know! People always say i don’t totally fit in anything... so there’s that. If you have an idea please let me know! 36. What’s your favourite music genre? Go back to question 8. I listen to everything! :D 37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be? I’d like to live around the world, every few months a different place and get to know different cultures.

38. What is your current favourite song? I’ve been obsessed with RM’s intro/teaser song, Map of the Soul: Persona. (I’m not even a bts fan, but this music and lyrics just touched me a lot.)

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39. How long have you had this blog for? I think for about 6 years? It’s my personal space, where I dump all my obsessions.

40. What are you excited for? I’m visiting some friends in Granada in a couple of weeks. Yay, tapas!

41. Are you a better talker or listener? Normally I am a better listener. But there are a few people to whom i open like a book. Either words flow right out of me without even thinking or they see throw me. Those truly are my people.

42. What is the last productive thing you did? Prepped meals and cleaned the kitchen. Open the folder and file of my thesis. Read the latest chapter I wrote. 43. What do you want for Christmas? Well, just like for my birthday, there is still such a long time to it! But let’s say i want to have already finish this part of my life and want to find my next adventure.

44. What class do you get the best grades in? No more exams! Ehehe! But I used to have good grades at everything. Physical Education was my lowest mark i think.

45. On a scale of 1-10 how do you feel right now? Right now, a 4? I have a headache.

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years? Smiling? :D I want to be happy in my own skin. To feel contempt in my life, doing something that gives me a sense of purpose and having time to share and enjoy with my friends and family. 47. When did you get your first heartbreak? Oh my kintsugi heart has been broken quiet a lot. By friends and lovers and even by myself. I keep patching it up with gold dreams though. 48. At what age do you wanna be married? I will only want to be married if i find the one. So until then I guess.

49. What career did you want to have as a child? I wanted to be an astronaut and a ballerina. Preferably both!

50. What do you crave right now? Just sitting somewhere and listening to Yeol play the guitar.

Well i finished it! :D I’ll tag @thedeviousdo @ohsenhun @hongseok and @paepsi. I’d love to read yours! Feel free to dismiss it though, it is quite a lot. Lots of love everyone!! <3 <3 <3

#50 questions tag #personal #sam's ramblings #mutuals #hope you enjoy reading about boring old me :)#it's very long i know! i talk too much

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mellicose · 7 years ago

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That Woman Over There - Chapter 17

A You Me and Him Fix-it Fic

Rating: Teen, for some profanity and mature themes

Word count: 4940

Warnings: none

Summary: ~ Set after the birth of Monty, Olivia’s baby ~ A dear friend of Olivia comes to visit for a week, and she disturbs the fragile peace between her, Alex, and John.

The atmosphere of the house crackled. She climbed the stairs quietly and looked in Liv’s bedroom door. She was by the bed, rocking Monty.

“Hey you,” she said, waving. “Can I come in?”

Olivia shrugged. “Baby’s asleep.”

“Would you like to go downstairs?” Connie said, walking over to caress Monty’s fluffy blond hair. He was so much like his mum.

She shook her head. “I want to wait with my son.”

Connie sat down beside her and touched her arm. “He’s asleep. You’ll rock him right out the window if you keep going like that.”

She let go in a huff. Her face was flushed, and her blue eyes were rimmed in red.

“Did you see where she went?” Liv said. “Typical of her to just run away when things don’t go her way.”

Connie sighed. “I heard her slam out of the kitchen door. That’s it.”

She looked out. “I don’t see anyone at John’s. They might’ve gone off somewhere. They went off together a lot for their shared therapy sessions when I first had Monty. I was going mad with a newborn, and she was getting drunk.” Her face was tight with resentment.

Connie touched her hand, but Liv moved it. “Livvie.”

Olivia stood up and paced in front of the bed. “She was barely around the first two months, and I swallowed it. I dealt with John mooning after her like a lovesick Borzoi. I learned to nurse alone and woke what seemed like 10 times a night for feedings, and they hadn’t come back yet. When she did, she stunk of fags and booze, but did I judge her? No. I was patient. I couldn’t imagine what it was like to lose a baby. So I stayed quiet. But I was boiling, Connie. It hurt terribly.”

She collapsed on the bed.

“Oh, no, darling, no,” Connie said, pulling her into her arms. She thought she wept, but she was trembling with anger, not anguish.

“She didn’t want Monty. Not the commitment, nor the responsibility. She wanted everything to remain the same until she tired of me, then move on like she’s always done-”

“Olivia-”

“No, you weren’t here, Connie. You didn’t live this. I know you were going through your own hell, but…” her mouth moved, and nothing came out. She sat down. “You know when you came back a couple days back, and we were in a compromising condition?”

“You mean when you were having sex in the kitchen?” Connie said.

Liv rolled her eyes and nodded awkwardly. “It was the first time in months,” she whispered.

“It’s normal for some nursing mothers not to want sex for a while,” Connie whispered back. Liv gave her a look.

“I’ve read a lot of books.”

Olivia tugged on her blouse and bit her lip. “Part of it was hormonal, but…” again, she couldn’t get the words out. Connie squeezed her hand. Liv shook her head.

“You know, when I first got with Ella, she was just weaning Poppy. It was strange. Some weeks she was insatiable. Then, she was untouchable for a month. But I adored her, so I dealt with it. If Alex loves you, she’ll adjust.”

“You and Ella are- were different,” she said.

“Were we?” Connie said. “I don’t really think so.”

“I was there, remember? It was a team effort. You were both completely excited and present for each other and Poppy,” she said. “It was beautiful to behold.”

“It was a fiction,” Connie said. “Everything was. I don’t think Ella ever really loved me. But, since Poppy did, she stayed for a while.”

Olivia stared at her. “Again, I’m sorry.”

Connie nodded.

“Did you ever feel it, before she left?” Liv asked.

Connie shook her head. “I came up to talk about you,” she said.

“Answer the question. Please,” Liv said.

“Do you remember when we first met and you slept over my house, and we would spend time in the basement?”

“Of course. Your father had a home theater down there. We’d gorge on candy popcorn and watch John Hughes film till we passed out in the guest bedroom. It was fun.”

“You remember Halloween?”

Olivia’s eyebrow rose. “Not so vaguely.” They had just watched the Lost Boys, and ran out of potato chips to mix with their chocolate in the downstairs bar, so they decided to venture upstairs to the kitchen. Connie’s parents had been in the den, fighting viciously. Or, better said, Connie’s mother was screaming insults at her father as he half stood, half knelt in front of her, avoiding her drunken earcuffs. Connie had turned cottage-cheese white and pulled her downstairs, slamming the basement door so hard she thought it would go off its hinges. It had taken many caresses, soft words, and kisses to calm her embarrassment and anger.

Liv reddened at the memory.

“That kind of thing happened at least twice a week, but I was successful in hiding from you for months. I thought you would insist on going home immediately and think me weird, but you stayed.”

“It was horribly uncomfortable,” Liv said, “but your pain was worse. That’s why I stayed. I felt for you.”

“That’s precisely what I didn’t want you to do,” Connie said. “Stay because you felt sorry for me. Give me scraps of affection because you saw I wasn’t getting it elsewhere. It was so humiliating. So I played it cool.”

“I remember you weren’t very cool at all that night,” Liv said. Her eyes were fathomless. “Far from it.”

Now Connie squirmed. Olivia wasn’t usually so bold.

“I wanted to forget. And I wanted you to stay.”

“I can’t say I ever forgot. But I no longer cared about anything or anyone else around us for a while after,” Liv said.

Connie chuckled. “Like I said, it was a fiction. A crappy patch on a gaping void.”

Liv didn’t know exactly what she was talking about.

“It was a lie, and I knew it was, but it was so nice. I figured loving her was enough for the both of us. Why do you think I would endure such pain?”

“I don’t understand,” Liv said.

“You asked me when I knew it wasn’t gonna work out. I think I knew for years. But … I made up excuses to remain. Poppy was the most brilliant excuse, but even then, not a solid one, since she never officially shared custody with me. She was always her girl. Even when I paid the bills and wiped her butt and took her to school. She used Poppy as leverage, and I let her because I loved her.” Connie’s lip quivered, and she gave Liv a hurt look.

“Like I said before, she didn’t want Monty. She left.”

“You kicked her out, as I recall.”

“Because she shagged the next door neighbor, who is a man!” She pointed at John’s house.

“She was really drunk and angry that you didn’t ask her before starting a family. I have defended you to anyone who dared talk shit, but between us, how is that fair, huh?”

“I turned forty last year, and we had talked about it a couple times. It wasn’t a complete surprise.”

“It was surprising enough,” Connie said. “She’s barely out of university age with no job and no prospects. How could you think she was ready to play house? Birthing hips does not a mother make.”

“She got pregnant too!” Olivia said, raising her voice. She slapped her hand over her mouth and looked toward Monty’s crib. Gladly, he didn’t wake. “At least I didn’t go to the friendly neighborhood shag shack to get … up the duff,” she whispered. She gave Connie a sharp look. She knew what she meant.

“Don’t you judge me, Olivia,” Connie said. Her eyes burned with tears. “You have absolutely no place to do it. Not then, and not now.”

“You started it,” Liv said. “Coming here with your itty bitty shorts and your flower fame,” she said, eyeing Connie’s dress. “Alex is right.”

Connie blinked incredulously. “Exactly what is she right about?”

“That you lash out and complain at a bit of ordinary heartache, but you’ve got it all. A wealthy father. An improbable art career. A jet setting life. You flew half the world over to see me on a whim. Not everyone has that luxury. Not even me,” she said, referring to her middle-class parents.

Connie stood up slowly. “I thought the argument was between you two?”

Olivia shrugged. “Maybe it takes a fresh pair of eyes to see certain things. We agreed on that.”

“Is this still about me not being here for Monty’s birth? You know why I couldn’t make it - John told me. I was ill. I’m sorry I wasn’t clear. It was a fucked up time.”

“So you’re thick as thieves are you? Mind your heart. He’ll have another woman in his bed before the side where you slept goes cold.”

“He can do what he likes after I go. We’re adults,” she said, but her chest contracted at the thought.

“That’s not what your eyes say, Connie. You care for him. And I’m just saying be careful. He was chummy with Alex and I too, before he took her to bed. He didn’t give a damn.” Her mouth was a straight line.

“He’s not that way anymore,” Connie said.

“So, he’s changed in the last few months? He’s a brand new man, all because of you,” Olivia said, smirking bitterly. “I’ll tell you what I told Alex - don’t flatter yourself.”

“I’m sorry you had to tell her that, Livvie, but I’m confused why you’re being like this.”

Olivia shrugged tiredly.

“You know what? Like I said before, I defended you when other people wanted to call you cold or manipulative or weird. I damn near spit in their face. Yet you talk shit about me with Alex, a woman I barely know? I’m a spoiled brat who’s gotten everything she’s ever wanted without any work, or sweat, tears, or blood? You know better. I struggled to learn the language I’m speaking to you now. I ate shit and slept on sofas, and floors. I traveled on piss-smelling buses and trains, away from home and comfort for months on end kissing asses and developing my craft. Daddy didn’t buy my clients, nor did he give me travel money. I busted my ass for all of my 20’s to get where I am, to prove to my father that I didn’t make the biggest mistake of my life for choosing art instead of science or politics. And goddamnit, I’m doing it,” she said, her voice trembling with emotion. “Don’t you blame me for having the courage to chase my dreams instead of bending to what Mummy and Daddy wanted.”

Olivia’s lip trembled.

“Did you tell Alex that? Squatting in an older woman’s house smoking hash and raiding her pantry isn’t gonna get her nonexistent work in the great museums of Europe.”

Olivia shivered as if slapped. Connie walked out to the hallway, then back in.

“And by the way, next time you have a little coffee klutch about my endless privilege with your girlfriend, tell her about that Halloween. That was my life every single day until I turned 17. I had a father too harried to be consistent, and a mother who wouldn’t look me in the eye except to tell me I wasn’t worth the birthing pains. Tell her about Ella, and Poppy, and my motherfucking empty apartment. If I’m so privileged, she can have it. In fact, here,” she said, and pulled off a gold bangle, and the ruby earrings she wore and threw them on the bed. One of them plinked on Olivia’s cheek, but she remained immobile. “She can take the rest too. See how well she can endure mi privilegio.”

🌹🌹🌹

John was speechless. He wasn’t sure he heard her right, or captured the meaning of her words.

“What did you say?” he asked.

“You were obviously in love with me. We get on really well. Why didn’t you insist on pursuing me?”

Heat flashed up his spine and exploded in his jaw. It rained harder, and the plinking above their heads turned to a dull roar, but he no longer felt cold. Her eyes widened at his expression.

“Are you gonna say something?”

The rain had washed away most of her makeup, and her face looked pale and so, so young. Regardless of what happened with Jo, she was still a beautiful child playing at womanhood. Perhaps it was a mercy on the part of fate, because otherwise…

“You’re with Olivia,” he finally said.

“You did your best to break us up at one point,” she said. “Why did you stop?”

“Because … you’re gay. You told me that ad nauseum. Eventually, I grew up and respected it.”

She shook her head, and warm droplets sprayed on his hand. “Turns out I’m bisexual. Congratulations, man. You turned me. Um, halfway turned me,” she said, and smiled.

Why did it feel like an insult?

“Um, okay,” he said. He couldn’t look at her. The food he ate was burning its way back up his esophagus.

“That’s all you got? You’re the first person I told. See, I chose you.”

He was quiet, and his silence started to make her nervous. He was never quiet, and rarely still. She slapped his shoulder.

“Talk to me!”

He swallowed bile. “What do you want me to say?” His voice cracked with emotion.

“What you’re thinking,” she said softly. He was not reacting the way she thought he would.

He tried to rub feeling back into his numb fingers, but the rain was relentless. His toes squished in his waterlogged boots. And he hurt. Like he hadn’t hurt in a long time.

“I cried for you,” he said. She put her hand over his, but he raked his fingers through his wet hair and hugged himself. “Not only because of what happened with Jo. Just, for you. Because I wanted you. I fell in love with you.”

She touched his shoulder, but he moved further away. She was no longer smiling.

“You’re so funny, and irreverent, and cool - everything I’m not. I’ll never forget the first time we met. You insulted me for no reason, all with a saucy grin. I even remember what you wore, how you did you hair. It was a legitimate moment for me.”

“I was wearing the overalls, right? With the flowered scarf in my hair,” she said. She remembered too - the way his perplexed face melted into a dazed grin, despite her sharp words. “I called you a useless football obsessed dudebro twat, and you offered me dinner.”

“I offered to cook you both dinner,” he said. “You and Olivia.”

“But mostly me,” she said, daring to touch him again. He didn’t move away, but he also didn’t react.

“Mostly you,” he repeated quietly. “What do you want from me?”

“You cried?” Alex said.

“Oh yeah,” he said, nodding. “I was so lonely. My wife left, and I had nothing. Then you moved in with Olivia. You were an actual ray of sunshine. I was smitten.”

She laced her fingers in his. “I think, my insults were partly because I thought you were … not totally gross-looking. It was a bit of a shock.”

“Not totally gross looking. Nice to know,” he said. His fingers felt cold and lifeless in hers, so she tried rubbing heat into them. It did not register in his face.

“We had our moments, right?” She moved his hand, and traced the tattoo on the inside of his wrist. It was still so crisp. So new.

“Had. Yes,” he said, extricating his hand gently from hers.

“Seriously, though - what do you think would’ve happened if we had Josie together? Have you ever thought about that? Because I have. In fact, I haven’t thought of much else lately.”

He looked out at the street with glassy eyes.

“I’ve been thinking of how, perhaps, I would’ve ended up in your house. You would’ve helped me turn your computer room into a nursery for Jo. And, maybe …” she wiped the dripping water from his jaw, “...maybe, in time, something might bloom between us. Who would’ve thunk it? Mr. and Mrs Helm, with the white picket fence and children’s toys in the garden.” She snorted.

Another wave of nausea made him shiver. She lightly caressed his neck, and he raised his shoulder defensively.

“But Jo’s gone,” he said.

“What if she had survived, though? What do you think might’ve happened?”

“She’s gone, Alex. She died. That’s what happened, and what I have to work through. I barely have the energy for that, after everything else. I don’t have any at all for what could’ve been.”

His tone frightened her, because it was not his usual gentle tone. It was firm. Final.

“I don’t know how to tell Olivia about the bi thing,” she said, changing her tack. “I don’t think she’ll be too pleased.”

“You have a life together, and a baby. The sooner you do, the better.”

“You heard her earlier. It’s her son. She chose to have him without talking to me, or waiting until we married. We’re not married now. I wonder if it even matters.”

“I don’t think it’s right to talk about her like that,” he said.

“I talk about her all the time. What’s changed?” Alex said.

“Everything,” he said, and cleared his throat. He stood up. His head was beginning to swim.

“Are you talking about Connie?” she said.

“This isn’t about her. Don’t bring her into it.”

She stood up. “I was your wingman with her. Maybe I’m entitled to something.”

“Fine. She’s not who you think she is,” he said.

“She’s exactly who I think she is. Just coming through,” Alex said. “In a day and a half she’ll be on a plane to New York, and you sir, will be a memory.” She patted him on the shoulder, thinking herself quite witty. But his face twitched with emotion. “Little Miss Jet Set will be gone, and we can get on with our lives.”

“What life?” he said.

She was surprised at his intensity. “I don’t know. Going to the pub and getting blitzed. Checking out women together. Chicken on Sunday. Monty,” she said, shrugging.

“The one where I watch you and Olivia living, then go back to my house alone?”

“If my memory serves, you’re rarely alone,” she said, and chuckled.

He shook his head. Could she be that clueless?

“I thought you knew me. Do you really think that’s the life I want?”

“You’re doing your own thing, and having fun. Better than boring uni classes and being yelled at all the time,” she said, stuffing her hands in her skirt. “Sometimes Liv feels more like my mam than my girl. I guess that’s why I like to hang out. You’re more my kind of people.”

Again, he studied her. She was truly oblivious to the pain she was causing. And, somehow, although it broke his heart again, it did not surprise him. She was so young. Could he blame her for being callous? Whatever wisp of emotion that he felt for her evaporated in that moment. They would always be connected by flesh, but no longer by heart.

He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight, and kissed the top of her head. She tried to extend the embrace, but he pulled away and shook his head.

“Be honest with Olivia … or don’t. But you must be honest with yourself.”

She shrugged. He put his hands up, then started walking away.

“Hey! Where you going?” she yelled.

“I need to be alone,” he said.

She stared after him. Her thoughts raced. She thought he would be happy to hear her news - that he would jump at the opportunity to start something with her and help her explore her feelings. She had no idea why he was reacting so negatively. Her breath was short with the cold. If he looked back at her, she would run to him. She wanted to, so much. Her eyes remained on his back, and her heart beat loudly in her ears. If he looked back at her, she would go to him, everyone else be damned …

He turned the corner and disappeared.

🌹🌹🌹

She ran down the stairs, and to her surprise, Olivia ran behind her. She put her arms around her before she ran out the door and burst into tears.

“I’m sorry. So sorry, but Connie, I’m scared,” she said, shivering against her back. “So scared…” her voice turned to a wail that made her turn and wrap her arms around her.

“I don’t feel in control anymore,” Olivia sniffed. “I don’t know what’s going on half the time, and I swear I can feel Alex resenting me. It makes the hairs go up in the back of my neck.” Her tears wet Connie’s shoulder.

“That loss of control happens after you have a child. You’re not living for yourself anymore,” Connie said. It’s a feeling she knew intimately, even though Poppy was gone. Maybe more so since she was gone.

“And what about the resentment?”

“That I can’t answer. You’ve got to listen to her, feel her out. And, if she wants to play a bigger role in Monty’s life, you’ve got to figure out a healthy way to make it work. But punishing her because of what happened in the beginning isn’t the way to earn her commitment. It will just make things worse. Have you considered couple’s therapy?”

Olivia snorted.

“What? It works to talk things through with an impartial stranger.”

“But we haven’t been together for three years. We’re not even married.”

“You’re raising a child together. I think you qualify as a couple.”

Olivia raised her head. “Did you ever do it with Ella?”

Connie laughed. “Like, every Thursday for three years. It was far more holistic approach, though. Queer couples sitting on the floor, in a circle, with a talking stick. There was lots of hash, which I didn’t smoke. You might prefer something more traditional.”

“But, you and Ella…” She wiped her eyes.

“To be fair, it was just an overglorified tea party - mostly gossip. It wasn’t useful, but Ella didn’t think psychology is a valid discipline anyway. I beg to differ. It helped me a lot in the last year.”

“Therapy?” Olivia said.

“A lot of therapy,” Connie said. “Surprisingly, my privilege didn’t matter a bit.”

Olivia winced, then wiped at the wetness darkening Connie’s dress. “Is this the dress John got you?”

“Yeah. Do you like it?” Connie said, ruffling the skirt.

“You look fantastic. I got the size right on the nose.”

“Thanks,” Connie said.

“I mean, he picked it out, it was just … he didn’t know the size,” she said, putting her hands on Connie’s waist. “I hurt you. When I said that thing to Alex at the restaurant.”

“It wasn’t directed at me. It was directed at Alex.”

“But I saw your face. It’s like the light went out of it.”

“Did you notice how Alex looked?” Connie said. She didn’t know why she was saying it. Her and Alex had to have another talk. Soon.

“I can’t even properly gauge her moods anymore,” Olivia said. “There’s always something.”

“Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt,” she said, thinking back on one of the regulars at the queer hash and gossip therapy circle. The saying had stung her then. And it visibly stung Olivia now. “You’ve got to have a long, difficult talk. And possibly make some hard decisions afterward, for the good of all three of you. Pretending that everything is okay is only postponing the inevitable.”

“The inevitable?” Olivia said.

“It will be inevitable if you leave it be,” Connie said. “If you really care for her, don’t freeze her out. You’ve got to listen to what she feels, and not superimpose your own feelings over hers.”

“That’s definitely from therapy,” Olivia said.

“The language, yes. The advice is all you. You can be pretty intense sometimes, Liv.”

She pulled her to the sofa and sat down. “I try to listen, Connie, I really do. But sometimes, she doesn’t make any sense. She doesn’t want to talk about the things that are, or could logically be.”

“She’s a dreamer,” Connie said.

“An artist, through and through,” Liv said.

“She’s young, and a bit wild. Has she ever had to work for a mortgage, or a car payment?”

“I don’t think so,” Liv said, and shrugged.

“Those boring, prosaic tasks tend to bring the most passionate dreamer crashing back to Earth,” Connie said, and smiled. “It happened to me.”

“She’s in school,” Olivia said. “It’s a start.”

“I guess. But what happens if you can’t see eye to eye, even after she finishes? Is that the life you want to live?”

“You’re one to talk,” Olivia snapped.

Connie took it stride - she knew her friend. “Yes, I am. So maybe you should listen.”

“Monty loves her,” Liv said softly. “She’s really good with him.”

“But are you two good together? I know this is not a very middle class of me to say, but staying together for the children is complete bullshit. It just fucks them up mentally to grow up seeing two people who obviously don’t love each other stay together because of them. It causes an immense amount of damage.”

Olivia lay back and took a deep breath. “Okay. If Ella didn’t find someone else, would you still be with her now?” she said.

Connie stood up and looked out the window at the rain. John’s porch light was on, but the house looked empty. She missed him so intensely she shivered.

“Um…” she hugged herself. “I’m not sure.”

“So you were unhappy?” Olivia said.

“Yes. I was,” Connie said, nodding. “I love Poppy, but I felt like the bitch at the banquet with Ella, you know? Just licking up the scraps. I think it would’ve gotten old eventually.” What she didn’t say is, what if she had still been with Ella, but she met John at Monty’s birth?

“I know what you’re thinking,” Olivia said, standing and wrapping her arms around Connie’s waist again.

“No you don’t,” Connie said.

“Yes I do. You’re wondering what might’ve happened if you met John when I had Monty,” she said. Connie turned to give her a funny look.

“Freak! How?”

“Because I know you,” Olivia said. “Also, you speak with your expressions.” She pulled Connie back on the sofa. “He’s unsufferable. Like a hyperactive dog that you pity too much to slap his muzzle.”

Connie shook her head. That energy was one of the best things about him, since it took her out of herself. But she understood why Olivia felt that way.

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier,” Olivia said. “There’s no excuse, but I have a half explanation.”

“What is it?”

Olivia pulled her hair out of the ponytail and raked her fingers through it. “Something’s changed ever since you got here. The energy, if that makes any sense. And Alex has seemed a bit more keyed up than usual. In fact, she seemed to be reaching equilibrium, but you came and boom! She’s gone again.”

Connie made a face. “How do you mean?”

“I couldn’t quantify it if I tried, Connie. She’s got something on her mind, and you somehow set it off. I felt it. When we, uh…” she waved her hand over her lap.

Connie’s eyebrow rose.

“No, not that. But she’s unquiet somehow.”

“Have you asked John?”

Olivia snorted. “No.”

“It might be a good idea. They’re close, and even if you don’t believe it, he really cares about you.” She tapped on the desk he made her, which was beside the sofa.

“But it’s horrible,” she said, rubbing her face. “To have to speak to someone else about my partner’s state of mind.”

“Talk to her yourself without fear, or talk to him. The choice is yours,” Connie said. Olivia walked to the kitchen for a bottle of water, and Connie followed.

“This is nice,” Olivia said, sitting down at the kitchen table. “Being here with you. At least I’m not alone.”

Connie hugged her from behind, and despite the fact that her previous words still hurt, she hurt for Olivia more. She had no idea it was that bad.

Olivia tapped her arm. “I tried phoning her earlier, but she left her mobile here. There’s no telling when she might come back. I’m going to bed.”

“Alright,” Connie said. “I guess I should change out of this,” she said, pulling at the dress. They climbed the stairs, and Connie locked herself in the bathroom.

🌹🌹🌹

After her shower, she was walking downstairs when she heard a whisper.

“Connie?” The distilled sadness in her voice stopped her in her tracks. Olivia laid on top of the blankets, shivering in the dark. Monty slept peacefully in his crib.

“Give me a sec,” she said. She carefully put the dress on a hanger, then pulled the duvet from under her and lay beside her.

“This takes me back,” Olivia said, pulling Connie’s arms closer around her. “Oh, I put your jewelry in your purse.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Connie said.

“I deserved it,” Liv said. “You were right. I’m sorry.”

“No more sorries tonight. Sleep,” Connie said, and nuzzled her temple. They heard running footsteps, and John’s back door slammed. Olivia’s grip tightened.

“Will you stay?” Liv asked.

“Yes,” Connie said.

Olivia closed her eyes.

Next Chapter

#That Woman Over There #you me and him #David Tennant #fan fiction #the plot thickens #fluff gives way to high drama

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terresdebrumestories · 7 years ago

Text

Chapter 12/24: Out

✗ TECHNICAL DETAILS

FANDOM: Marvel’s MCU SERIES: SEADLA Verse, version 2.0 RATING: Mature WORDCOUNT: 4 626 PAIRING(S): - CHARACTER(S): Tony Stark, Nick Fury, Clint Barton. GENRE: Jail time sucks. TRIGGER WARNING(S): This chapter contains brief and non graphic suicidal thoughts (it’s really small, but it’s there) as well as iffy matters of consent regarding telepathy that aren’t really discussed. (Check the AO3 listing for a glimpse of what’s to come). SUMMARY: In which there is a rescue team.

DEDICATION(S): As always, to the first version’s readers, to the people who leave comments on the fic three years after its last update, and to 2012!me, who needed to write this fic a lot.

SEADLA ON TUMBLR: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9] [Chapter 10] [Chapter 11]

Tony stares into the abrupt darkness with his heart hammering against his ribs until a green and gold flame, no bigger than a thumb, whispers to life. The light flickers over Loki’s face, makes his features handsome, childish and fearsome in turn, a thousand faces birthed and killed by a thousand tricks of lights.

It makes Tony’s head swim.

Loki, apparently unbothered, sends the flame hovering a little above his head and lights another one, then another and another, until several dozens of small fires float in the air around them, casting their light over Loki and deepening the pitch blackness around him.

“You look like the Boogeyman,” Tony blurts out through the wild rhythm of his breathing, twisting his fingers into his sheets, just to make sure the bed is still there.

The whole scene looks and feels a little like the Big Bang did, except there’s neither scientific wonder nor any sense of emotional closeness to keep Tony calm, and sweat starts prickling at his brow long before Loki shrugs and deadpans:

“Well I did do a bit of interim for him.”

Tony gapes, unable to tell whether this is supposed to be a joke or not, until his eyes catch on to a slightly-less-dark rectangle in the blackness behind Loki. He twists around a little, careful to keep his movements limited to the approximate area of the bed, until he catches sight of something moving in the rectangle, like black heavy fog trying to hide paler silhouettes. Tony thinks they look like trees, but they’re too pale to be real.

“Where are we?” He asks at last, struggling to tear his attention off the door and onto Loki.

“I suppose you could say we’re technically both in you cell. This is your mind. Well, a possible manifestation of it, at least.”

“A physical manifestation of—wait, I’m dreaming?”

“In technical terms,” Loki corrects with impossibly precise enunciation, “you are being Visited.”

“Oh right,” Tony retorts, switching from surprise to sarcasm almost before he has time to decide on it, “and you couldn’t ‘visit me’ before because…?”

“You didn’t pick up the knife.”

Tony’s face flushes red in less time than it takes to blink. What does the fucking knife even have to do with anything? And what the fuck does Loki mean, Tony didn’t pick it up? He spent literal days cutting into his arm with that stupid fucking thing, and Loki has the gall to blame him for not picking it up?

Worse, still! The bastard looks sad! Hurt, even! Like he’s the one who suffered instead of Tony! Oh, what a fucking joke, what a bastard—a week! A full week, at least, in custody, all but tortured into drinking, not knowing when he’d come out and that’s what—oh, what a fucking moron Tony was.

“Oh, forgive me your highness,” he hisses, trying not to choke on his fury, “I guess I’m not smart enough for princely mind games, after all!”

“That’s not what I said,” Loki replies in a neutral tone, one eyebrow raising with so much elegance Tony wants to punch it open, “I’m simply saying—”

“You’re saying bull, is what you’re doing. I picked your damn knife up! For nothing! I’ve been calling you for help—”

“I’m actually fairly certain you were punishing yourself,” Loki replies, drawing his head back like an offended bird.”

“You told me there was a spell in it—that you’d know if I tried to use it on myself—why d’you think I went back to cutting? The aesthetics?”

“Contrary to what you seem to believe, I didn’t actually get inside your head about a minute ago. I knew you were cutting, not why.”

“Oh, right, because that makes everything so much better!”

Tony is all but kneeling on the bed by now, body tense and boiling with the urge to start throwing punches. He’s not even picky about where: face, chest, legs, anywhere it’ll take so long as it gets Loki begging for forgiveness and the ugly mess of Tony’s memories out of his brain forever.

Loki doesn’t seem to care, if he even notices at all.

“It doesn’t,” he says with a slight shrug, “you had to call for me. I planted the knife as because I knew you were too stubborn to—”

“What? Too stubborn to die like you planned?”

Technically, there’s no wall to stop him here, no ground to slam into, which is probably the only reason why flying off and landing in an undignified heap doesn’t physically hurt. The gesture still reels him though, pulls his thoughts into a sharp sideway twist.

Fuck, he wishes it’d hurt though. Wishes it’d bleed like a proper wound so he could just stitch it up and be done with it instead of having to watch himself fester down into nothing. It’d be a bitch to go through but it’d be clean. Straightforward.

Simple.

God, he misses simple.

But it doesn’t hurt.

Loki’s face though, that gets something out of Tony, because he looks hurt. He looks like he’s hurt and betrayed, like Tony should commiserate with the poor widdle god of trickery and lies regret at sending a so-called friend flying. Like Tony should be craddling his cheek and say ‘it’s alright, you’re not really an asshole for trying to throw me into concrete, or whatever you thought would stop me mid-flight’.

Fuck that game. Tony’s most definitely not playing it.

“If I’d meant for you to die,” Loki hisses after a long, shivering pause, “All I had to do was leave you here. I could have killed you a dozen times as Lorna. Better still, I could have ignored your letter and let you do the bloody job for me, you pathetic coward!”

The lights around them burn brighter with each word, swelling with Loki’s venom and turning his hair from black to a bright copper, draws lines of runes onto his face. Tony watches the change proceed with sick fascination, blood humming in his veins as Loki’s ordinary black leather shifts into thick winter gear, his chin colors with a thick copper beard where the runes come and go like words on the wind.

It fills something primal in Tony, like he’s witnessing something he shouldn’t have access to, and there’s the beginning of a punch building up in his fist when Loki strides up to him, seizes him by the collar and hisses into his face:

“You’re a lucky coward, though, I do not intend to let you die. Be ready for an escape tomorrow. You will know when the time comes.”

Tony does punch then, as hard and fast as he can manage, satisfaction blooming into his chest when he hears Loki’s nose crack and spots blood dripping onto the elegant mustache. Fuck him. Fuck him and his mysticism, his arrogance, his every fucking thing! If he wants to think he’s above everyone, fine! But if he thinks Tony’s gonna lie down and take it in silence, he’s got another fucking thing coming.

His thing with Lorna might have worked wonder, but Tony is sure as hell not about to take another one of his lies, fuck him very much.

“Lorna was a lie, that much is true,” Loki says while he dabs elegant fingers under his nose, “but it wasn’t mine.”

He’s out of the door before Tony can try to punch him again.

{ooo}

Tony wakes up to a major kink in his neck and the taste of a hangover gone stale on his tongue. He lies on the bed like a a stringless puppet, crusty-eyed and sweaty, desperatly trying to ignore the headache forming behind his eyeballs. At the edge of his memory, shouting and pain mix with green flames in the dark, and it’s all he can do to push them back in favor of Loki’s words.

Be ready for an escape tomorrow. You’ll know the moment when it comes.

Of course he had to be a fucking cryptic with that, too. What an asshole.

Tony still hopes, though. He thinks about the not-quite-dream all day long as he lies down, unable not to wish Loki said the truth. Unable not to feel like time has turned into especially thick syrup as he keeps his hands under the pillow, clutching Loki’s open knife just in case.

Somewhere around what’s probably the beginning of the afternoon, Clint comes back with more food. He doesn’t make a show of roughing tony up this time, which is definitely progress, but he does mouth ‘be ready’ when he leaves the tray. If nothing else, it probably means Clint is on Tonys side.

In times like these, it’s a thought worth clinging to.

{ooo}

As far as Tony can tell, it’s about four when the guards start screaming. Muffled shouts and the slap of flesh on flesh fill the air for a hot second, and then there’s a pregnant silence and the hiss of Tony’s cell door sliding open. Tony, who at this point is little more than a random collection of ill-kept hair and bloodshot eyes in hospital pajamas, watches a skinny silhouette in red and blue spandex stride into the room with confident step, pause into a full-bodied show of surprise, and exclaims:

“Dude, you look like crap!”

The boy sounds something like seventeen, maybe eighteen. Barely college age, at any rate. It doesn’t stop Tony from saying he’s been worse.

It’s both true and false. Afghanistan hurt more, physically speaking. He doesn’t remember feeling that empty while he was there, though, too busy trying to figure out how to get Yinsen and himself out to feel sorry about his life.

He wouldn’t go back there just to stop being depressed though, thank you very much.

“How did you know where to find me?” He asks, following the kid out into empty corridors with Loki’s swiss knife in hand, “Clint managed to get blueprint out?”

“Yeah, and then a little spider talked to me in a dream.”

A pause, and then:

“I mean, it was really more like the biggest tarantula the world has ever seen, but it’s not as funny an image.”

Tony’s too busy trying to walk in a straight line to care much, either way, but whatever rocks the kid’s world, really. How or why on Earth Anansi got involved, he has no idea. Same goes for Spiderman, actually, but neither of these questions feel pressing enough to distract him from the very real, very urgent need to get away from this place.

So he runs.

They reach a doorway that probably leads outside about fifteen minutes into Tony’s escape, four S.H.I.E.L.D agents standing in their way with old Nazi weapons at the ready, and Tony’s heart sinks.

No way he’ll get past them.

“Okay,” Spiderman says, twisting his head until the bones in his neck crack, “no offense but I think we’ll be better off if I handle that one on my own. You’re in no shape to fight, pop.”

Tony would quip back and say the kid is being a little generous about his suit-less abilities, but he doesn’t have the time. He’s barely started opening his mouth, and one guard is down already, dragged to the ground with a clever use of silky—and sticky—rope. Spiderman runs toward the next one, yells ‘crotch!’ and hit the man with exactly that part of his anatomy, catching one of the two women in the jaw with his foot as he twists the male guard around.

The second woman manages to get a grip on him and twist his arm behind his back, but before Tony gets to helping him, he’s jumped and twisted in such a way that he broke the woman’s nose with his knee and wriggled free of her headlock.

“Phew,” he says, voice rough from the chokehold, “thank heaven for super flexibility, right?”

Tony doesn’t have time to answer before someone grabs his arm and forces him to start running. He barely realizes it’s Clint in time to avoid punching at him—and then it stops to matter, because he’s finally outside.

He was never a very outdoorsy person before but hell, he’s ready to get into full time camping right now, relishing the wind on his face more than he could have thought possible, so happy to be let out of that damned cave of a jail cell that he barely manages to hold himself upright.

“Stark!” Clint yells in his ear with the tone of someone who’s been trying to get his attention for a bit, “they’re trying to torture Banner into hulking, we gotta move out fast!”

“He’s not gonna do it!” Tony protests even as he picks up his pace to keep up with Clint, “Bruce—”

“I’m not wondering if he wants to hold it in,” Clint replies, guiding Tony away from where a gaggle of agents are fighting a man on a horse car, “I’m wondering if he’ll be able to! He’s never had to resist torture before, we don’t know how it’ll affect him!”

Tony, still half-drunk from sudden freedom, wishes he could protest. Bruce saved his life multiple times already—sometimes as Hulk, even!—but Clint as a point. This is brand new territory, and they’re probably better off getting to safety before they start pondering the nature of Bruce’s doppelganger and how it’s gonna react to pain.

Around them, the air screams with explosions and too many voices, multiple fights breaking on the ground and across the sky as Tony lets Clint and Spiderman drag him out into what may or may not be the desert of New Mexico. He thinks he makes out a voice that sounds like thunder in the chaos but, really, there’s no way to be entirely sure.

“We gotta come back for Bruce,” he manages between two steps, dodging Clint’s elbow when he shoots at an agent.

“We gotta get you to safety,” Clint says, eyes roaming the landscape around them for something, “if Banner’s smart he’ll let the other guy come out and get him out of Fury’s hands.”

“But he’s—”

“I don’t see out back up!” Spiderman yells, “Where’s she?”

“Hell if I know! You seen a cat recently?”

Tony stumbles on the uneven ground, legs of cotton and shot vision combining to mess up with his balance, but he’s still got enough brain to despair at Clint’s words. A cat? they’re hanging their survival on a damn cat? God, they’re so lost—he’s just gonna die here and get this kid who asked for nothing down with him and then—

“Oh fuck!”

Tony twists on himself to follow Clint’s line of sight, trusting the guy to take them through a manageable path...and immediately regrets his decision.

Behind them, mounted onto some kind of vaguely horse-like mechanical monstrosity, the scarred man who visited Tony is flinging people out of his way like they’re annoying flies and not full grown adults. He’s yelling something Tony doesn’t understand but, more importantly, he’s catching up to them. Fast.

“Damn it all!” Clint shouts, “Bastet! Where the fuck are you!”

There’s a flash of grayish-pink flesh by Tony’s feet, a shape running toward the artificial horse as the scarred man prepares to shoot, and then he’s flung to the ground under the weight of a hairless lion with a snarl of hatred that shakes the air around Tony.

“The portal’s behind the rock,” the lion—lioness, judging by the voice—yells over the scarred man’s struggling body, “go!”

Tony is scrambling to turn around before Spiderman even manages to grab him—there’s a sharp pain in his guts as he runs, the exhaustion finally settling in, but he doesn’t let it stop him and keep going, passing a giant boulder at breakneck speed.

He doesn’t notice the hole until he’s already falling.

{ooo}

“Finally,” a deep, cheerful voice exclaims when Tony climbs back to consciousness, “I was beginning to think you’d never wake up!”

Trying to ignore the voice, Tony keeps his eyes closed and tries to list his injuries—there should be some, considering the day he’s had...whenever he got knocked out.

He doesn’t find anything.

Nothing hurts.

There’s no fire in his veins, no throbbing in his head, no itching and pulling around the reactor, no dull ache where he thought he’d pulled a muscle running, nothing at all.

He’s not sure what it says about him that the absence of pain is what makes him open his eyes and panic.

“Alright, alright, try to calm down,” the voice says when Tony bolts upright, “it took a while to patch you up, and probably even longer to negotiate your return with Hades, let’s not go and ruin all that good work.”

Tony turns, and stares at the woman he finds there. She’s about as tall as Thor, though her shoulders and hips are slightly narrower. Long, bleached-blond hair tumbles into a thick braid over her right shoulder, and when she walks closer to examine Tony it’s easy to spot the freckles on her golden cheeks.

“What the hell?” Tony exclaims when she inspects his wrists and there’s no trace of scarring there, “Where the fuck am I?”

“The exact answer is a little complicated,” the woman says with an apologetic smile, “so for the sake of simplicity we’ll just say it’s my infirmary, for now.”

“Right. And how long have I been in ‘your infirmary’?” Tony asks with his heart in his throat.

“A little under three days. You were awake for some of it, actually, but you kept trying to tear your glowing gadget out and re-open your wrists, so I sedated you. You should be able to get out tomorrow, depending on your state of mind...i the meantime, you can visit Anansi in the next room but going further would be a bad idea.”

Tony blinks, and takes his first proper look around the room.

White stone walls, too smooth to be natural but not enough to be a modern building, curve in as if to cover whatever is inside them. Blue light, rippling over the room like it had to get through water, mixing with the light of several candles to paint the atmosphere a golden kind of turquoise. It’s unusual and somewhere halfway between magical and spooky, but it’s also oddly soothing.

Secure, more than stifling. It’s a nice change of pace.

As for the furnitures, aside from the way they curve in to accommodate the walls, they look fairly infirmary-like. A spartan bedside table for each of the three narrow cots, a roll up tray with instruments waiting to be used, and a basket filled with whatever it is an infirmary needs to throw away. To the left, a closed door. To the right, a door left ajar, the low hum of conversation filtering through it—probably Anansi’s room, then. Tony should probably go and visit.

He doesn’t have it in him to do it, though.

He didn’t expect to wake up. didn’t even really want to, either. What does he have to come back to, these days? An empty house without Jarvis? A bunch of broken dreams? More problems than he can even begin to count? And that’s taking Loki out of the equation. Loki who, unless he’s even more of a jerk than he already showed, might come walking though that door at any moment.

Wonderful.

Honestly, tony wishes he could stop thinking about him. He’s going to have to, at some point, whether he likes it or not. Might even be a good idea to do so, in the long run. Right now though, nothing in his body hurts—not even the reactor—and his mind is just numb enough to keep him from a fall in complete despair.

It’s not ideal, but compared to the past few days it’s progress, and Tony is not going to ruin it with undue concern, thank you very much.

“Aren’t you going to ask me about Anansi’s health?”

It take tremendous effort to look at the woman again. Here eyes, almond shaped with a distinct fold at the corners, are so dark they’re almost black, but they’re warm too, and comforting. Well, there’s also a hint of reproach in there, but Tony doesn’t really have the energy to care about that.

“I assume he’ll be alright. He’s a God.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t try and be a proper friend to him. Or, you know, a polite person.”

Tony tries to snort, but it comes our more like a huff of breath. Either way, it’s not the answer the woman was angling fro, because she crosses her arms over her chest with a more obviously disapproving stare. She’s wearing an apron over a purple wool tunic, more prepared for viking ships than the imperial court of China, but what does Tony know about mythology, after all? Just ‘cause nobody talks about godly emigration doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

“Just because you’re out of it doesn’t mean you get to be an ass, Tony Stark.”

“And just ‘cause you know my name doesn’t mean you get to use it like you’re my mom,” Tony replies without much heat, “I don’t even know who you are.”

“Only because you didn’t ask.”

The woman’s voice deepens with every sentence, like her annoyance at Tony can be measured in how many octaves she can drop. She still reaches for a bowl and holds it out to Tony, with a firm ‘eat something’ when he takes it in hand.

It’s something like gruel, bland-looking on the whole, though when Tony tries it he finds nuts, honey and dried fruits as well. He doesn’t have the capacity to enjoy it in full, that’s true, but at least it tastes of something.

There are worse thing to unenthusiastically munch on.

“My name’s Sigyn, by the way.”

The name sounds vaguely familiar, but Tony doesn’t quite get why until Sigyn adds:

“You might know me as Loki’s wife.”

#MCU Fic #Tony Stark #Loki #SEADLA #Fanfiction #MCU

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zoinkshaggy · 7 years ago

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PHYSICAL !!

1. Describe the character’s height and build. Is he heavyset, thin, short, rangy? Lanky af. He’s six feet even and in decent shape, a bit thin maybe, but surprisingly healthy for someone that hardly moves and eats like he does. 2. How old is he? Twenty. 3. Describe his posture. Does he carry himself well or does he slouch? He slouches. He’s a klutz and the way he walks makes his limbs seem kind of disproportionate to his body sometimes. His arms kind of just swing by his sides and the strides he takes make his legs look even longer than they really are. His back is never completely straight. 4. How is his health? Is he fit or out of shape? Any illnesses or conditions? Any physical disabilities? Again, surprisingly healthy for someone that hardly moves. It’s weird, he can outrun anything and not be the least bit winded, but he has to catch his breath after walking up a flight of stairs. 5. How does he move? Is he clumsy, graceful, tense, fluid? Clumsy. No doubt about it. A little tense too. Kind of jerky. Just picture the way animated Shaggy moves. 6. How attractive is this character physically? How does he perceive himself in the mirror? Um, you’re asking the wrong person here because damn boy. He doesn’t really think about his looks. He puts very little effort into them, probably doesn’t even look in the mirror more than twice a week. If you asked him, he is probably a four on a scale of one to ten. Not hideous, but nothing special. I think he’s beautiful. 7. Describe his complexion. Dark, light, clear, scarred? Medium, and actually fairly smooth. A few acne pits on his cheeks. Nothing major. 8. Describe his hair: color, texture, style. Dark. Messy. Naturally straight. Beautiful. He has dreads* and his mother is constantly nagging him to chop them off. One day he’ll probably listen. But today is not that day. 9. What color are his eyes? Hazel. 10. Does the character have any other noteworthy features? His jawbone* is hella sharp. I think his eyes are the next most noticeable thing about him. He also has a few cute lil moles and there’s one on his cheek that shows up in almost every picture, across from the bottom of his nose. 11. What are his chief tension centers? Along his spine, his neck and his shoulders. 12. What is the character’s wardrobe like? Casual, dressy, utilitarian? Bright colors, pastels, neutrals? Is it varied, or does he have six of the same suit? Casual. Pretty neutral. He probably owns one good suit and that’s only because his father bought it and forced him to pack it. He usually wears jeans and tees*, or nerdy sweaters* if it’s cool out. 13. Do his clothes fit well? Does he seem comfortable in them? For the most part. He doesn’t wear anything he in’t comfortable in, so they’re a bit too big sometimes, but he like them that way. If they’re too tight, he feels like he’s suffocating. He wants to have room to move. 14. Does he dress the same on the job as he does in his free time? If not, what are the differences? Pretty much. He’s not the type to change for anyone. 15. You knew it was coming: Boxers, briefs or commando? Boxers.

SPEECH !!

1. What does this character’s voice sound like? High-pitched, deep, hoarse? Lowish. Boyish. When I’m writing for him I hear this very specific mixture of Matthew Lyn Lillard from the movies*, though not as high pitched or nasally, Shaggy from Scooby-Doo Meets The Boo Brothers*, and this voice I can’t really describe that apparently my head created all on its own. 2. How does he normally speak? Loud, soft, fas, evenly? Does he talk easily, or does he hesitate? He talks at a fairly normal volume or mumbles. I don’t think he’s ever loud. If he’s especially nervous, he’ll spout out nonsense. His words tend to run together and there are a lot of uhs, ums and self interruptions. He gets tongue tied. And the more he screws up his speech, the more his anxiety spikes. If he is excited or comfortable around someone he’ll talk quickly too but he doesn’t stumble over his words so much. In a normal situation, with strangers, he isn’t really the conversing type. 3. Does the character have a distinct accent or dialect? Any individual quirks of pronunciation? Any, like, you know, verbal tics? Shaggy says “like” a lot. I feel the need to apologize for that. 4. What languages does he speak, and with how much fluency? Only English. He’s not even especially skilled in that. 5. Does he switch languages or dialects in certain situations? Nope. 6. Is he a good impromptu speaker, or does he have to think about his words? He has to think about his words, otherwise he’s a stammering mess. Sometimes he overthinks every word that leaves his mouth though, and that can cause just as much of an issue. 7. Is he eloquent or inarticulate? Under what circumstances might this change? While he’s much closer to inarticulate the majority of the time, if he’s comfortable it isn’t so bad. Unless he’s just really really excited.

MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL !!

1. How intelligent is this character? Is he book-smart or street-smart? He’s... not the smartest. He’s too lazy to be book-smart and too naive to be street-smart. If he just gave it a little bit of effort... 2. Does he think on his feet, or does he need time to deliberate? He needs time to deliberate. Thinking on his feet does not lead to good decisions. 3. Describe the character’s thought process. Is he more logical, or more intuitive? Idealistic or practical? He’s probably more logical. But he can be easily swayed by emotion. 4. What kind of education has the character had? He graduated high school -- not exactly with flying colors, but he’s here. He’s in college now. Just focusing on trying to get through his junior year. 5. What are his areas of expertise? What, if anything, is he interested in learning more about? The only thing he’s an expert at is being a loyal friend and not puking when eating strange food combinations. 6. Is he an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert. He gets attached to people easily and he is full of love, but he’s not the type to go out looking for someone to have a conversation with. 7. Describe the character’s temperament. Is he even-tempered or does he have mood swings? Cheerful or melancholy? Laid-back or driven? He’s chill. Definitely laid-back. He can be a nervous wreck and he’s actually pretty sad deep down, but for the most part he’s got a calm attitude. 8. How does he respond to new people or situations? Is he suspicious, relaxed, timid, enthusiastic? Most likely timid. If the situation is a food convention, he’s ecstatic. But he gets anxious about meeting new people if they aren’t super friendly right off the bat and he isn’t in an area that feels like a safe place. Walt is becoming more of a safe place, but it’s not there yet. 9. Is he more likely to act, or to react? React. 10. Which is his default: fight or flight? Flight. No question. 11. Describe the character’s sense of humor. Does he appreciate jokes? Puns? Gallows humor? Bathroom humor? Pranks? He doesn’t have one specific thing that brings him amusement. Bad puns, fart jokes, knock knock jokes, physical comedy, it isn’t hard to make him laugh. His own sense of humor is typically based around self depreciating jokes and cheesy one liners. Pointing to a trash can and saying “hey look, it’s me”, doodling a beetle on a piece of paper, holding it up and saying “I hate to bug you but...”, you know, silly things that probably aren’t funny to anyone but himself. 12. Does the character have any diagnosable mental disorders? If yes, how does he deal with them? He struggles with anxiety. It’s more serious at times than others. He is at a point in his life that it isn’t as bad as it used to be but it has also been better. Social situations can set him off and sometimes he has panic attacks that are triggered by very small things or nothing specific. Smoking helps. His dad brought Scooby home one day in hopes that it would make life easier for him, and it has. It would probably be better if he didn’t try to keep it from everyone but he thinks it makes him weak, so he tries to hide it the best he can. 13. What moments in this character’s life have defined him as a person? I would say his parents being dragged away in handcuffs as he sat suddenly orphaned in the middle of a riot gone wrong is probably at the top of his list. It was because of that he ever came to live with Paula and Colton Rogers, which was a drastic change to the world he’d come to know. Scooby Doo coming into his life was a defining moment. His mother pushing him to go play with other kids, dressing him up, making offhand insults about him. It’s hard to say but if not for her, his stress and anxiety may not have ever gotten to the point that it did. Befriending the Mystery Inc. Discovering weed. Losing his friends in high school, causing him to become a burnout that sat under the bleachers wasting his life away. Attempting to patch things up with them that lead to him trespassing on a crime scene... that lead to him getting sent to Walt. All moments worth mentioning. 14. What does he fear? Um... everything. 15. What are his hopes or aspirations? To make his parents proud. To eat more pizza, be a good person and make other people smile. To see his friends succeed, and do anything and everything he can to help them. 16. What is something he doesn’t want anyone to find out about him? How much he truly struggles with anxiety. The only people that have witnessed him during a bad panic attack are his parents, his dog and Maggie, and he wants it to stay that way. He would prefer people not find out how sad he is deep down either.

RELATIONSHIPS !!

1. Describe this character’s relationship with his parents.In one word: strained. He’s much closer to his father. He took him in, he bought him a dog, he’s calmed him down many times when he didn’t have to. In a way he’s his safety net. But there is still something missing there. He’ll never be good enough for him. Colton expects so much from his son, and Shaggy feels he has so little to give. He’s just a disappointment. As hard as he may strive to change that, it’s all he’ll ever be. And his mother... he has no doubts that she wishes her husband had never brought the boy home. She does love him, in her own twisted way, but she wants him to fit into this mold that he just can’t. She would rather blame him for his failures than admit that she hasn’t been a very good parent. She is as incapable at accepting him for who he is as he is at changing. 2. Does the character have any siblings? What is/was their relationship like? He has Maggie. They aren’t close at all. She’s the perfect child and he’s the black sheep. They are basically strangers living under the same roof. She doesn’t necessarily frown upon him or seem disappointed that he’s a part of her life but she doesn’t go out of her way to socialize and he isn’t going to either. When they were younger he attempted to bond with her, but by the time he reached his teenage years, he stopped trying. Before he was sent to Walt they hardly seen each other except in passing. They may have spoke ten words a month... if that. 3. Are there other blood relatives to whom he is close? Are there ones he can’t stand? He doesn’t know any of his blood relatives and it seems like his adoptive relatives feel about the same way towards him as Paula does. 4. Are there other, unrelated people whom he considers part of his family? What are his relationships with them? As far as he’s concerned, Daphne, Velma and Freddy are all his family. They are the people he’s most comfortable around. Daphne is more of a sister to him than Maggie has ever been. He loves her, he wants to see her happy and he makes sure she never doubts her worth but he’s willing to burst her ego if she needs it. He would do anything for her. Velma is a different kind of love. He tries to make her smile as much as he can when he’s around, and remind her that she’s better than the pressure her parents put on her. As far as he’s concerned, she deserves the moon and the stars. Freddy is the polar opposite of Shaggy and he gets along with him the least, but he is still one of his favorite people in the world. He’s a decent guy. He’s capable of being a great guy, if he’d let himself. Shaggy knows that and he would take a bullet for him. He would take a bullet for any of them. 5. Who is the character’s best friend? How did they meet? See above. 6. Does he have other close friends? He’s getting there. Maybe. 7. Does he make friends easily, or does he have trouble getting along with people? He doesn’t have trouble getting along with people, but he has trouble actually approaching them. If someone tries to befriend him, it won’t take much. He loves having friends. It’s just... social anxiety, bro. It sucks. 8. Which does he consider more important: family or friends? Friends. 9. Is the character single, married, divorced, widowed? Has he been married more than once? Single and too anxious to mingle. 10. Is he currently in a romantic relationship with someone other than a spouse? Uh, no. 11. Who was his first crush? Who is his latest? You know he only has eyes for Velma. Eyes that are in slight denial, but still... 12. What does he look for in a romantic partner? It’s simple. Someone he can be comfortable with. Someone he loves. 13. Does the character have children? Grandchildren? If yes, how does he relate to them? If no, does he want any? He doesn’t, though he would love to be a dad one day. And in next gen he’s a lovely dad to Remus okay I’m always emotional over that relationship. 14. Does he have any rivals or enemies? Does his mom count? No. 15. What is the character’s sexual orientation? Where does he fall on the Kinsey scale? Probably pan. Shaggy doesn’t really do labels. Gender isn’t a big deal to him. I would say he’s a 1 or 2. Seeing as he’s had one crush in his life it’s a bit hard to tell. 16. How does he feel about sex? How important is it to him? I have had this debate with myself many times. Sometimes I feel like Shaggy could be asexual, but again, it’s a bit hard to tell. He’s weird about physical contact no matter how small unless he’s comfortable with a person or in a rare mood, so sex isn’t a big deal to him. He could be in a relationship without it. He definitely isn’t the type of person that could be with a stranger, no strings attached, friends with benefits unless he was blackout drunk, and even then I find it hard to believe he would initiate anything. It’s kind of the last thing on his mind. To go all the way with someone he would have to truly be in love with said person. And even then he might rather cuddle. The idea of it probably stresses him out. I’m going to say it’s not that important, maybe not important at all...? Maybe he needs to be in a relationship before we can figure that out. Hell if I know. Ask Shaggy. He confuses me. 17. What are his turn-ons? Turn-offs? Weird bedroom habits? Please don’t make me think about this.

BELIEFS !!

1. Do you know your character’s astrological (zodiac of choice) sign? How well does he fit type? He was born on November 4th which makes him a Scorpio. Reading up on the sign, some parts fit and some parts don’t. 2. Is this character religious, spiritual, both, or neither? How important are these elements in his life? Somewhat. He believes in a higher power, but he doesn’t necessarily follow the bible or pray. He figures there’s someone looking after the Earth. He just isn’t sure who. 3. Does this character have a personal code of morals or ethics? If so, how did that begin? What would it take to compromise it? He believes in the golden rule -- do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The only reason he would ever be harsh to someone would be in order to stand up for another person he cares about. 4. How does he regard beliefs that differ from his? Is he tolerant, intolerant, curious, indifferent? Curious, indifferent. He doesn’t expect anyone to believe exactly what he does. He’s an open minded dude. 5. What prejudices does he hold? Are they irrational or does he have a good reason for them? Life’s too short to be judgmental.

DAILY LIFE !!

1. What is the character’s financial situation? Is he rich, poor, comfortable, in debt? His parents are well off. Not rich, but comfortable. Money doesn’t mean anything much to him as long as he’s got enough to afford food. 2. What is his social status? Has this changed over time, and if so, how has the change affected him? Low. He was seen as a loser. That stoner that ditched classes. He was laughed at, teased, ignored. I think it’s gotten better. People aren’t as quick to judge him here. He doesn’t really care what strangers think, but he appreciates not being frowned upon 24/7. 3. Where does he live? House, apartment, trailer? Is his home his castle or just a place to crash? What condition is it in? Does he share it with others? Back at home he lived in a house with his mother, father, Maggie and Scooby Doo. His room was his safe place. Now he shares a dorm with Scooby and since Barbie is currently listed as his roommate and she isn’t here, I suppose it’s only the two of them. His side is not extremely clean. Clothes are tossed around, there are probably always snacks sitting on his table, crumbs in his bed, an overflowing wastebasket because he forgets to take out the trash... he should really take better care of where he lives. 4. Besides the basic necessities, what does he spend his money on? Dog treats, dog toys and an excessive amount of junk food or fast food. 5. What does he do for a living? Is he good at it? Does he enjoy it, or would he rather be doing something else? He has had a few odd jobs over summers in the past but he is currently unemployed. He has absolutely no idea what he wants to do for a living. 6. What are his interests or hobbies? How does he spend his free time? Eating. Sleeping. Smoking. Hanging out with Scooby. His mom doesn’t think he’s a lazy bum for no reason. 7. What are his eating habits? Does he skip meals, eat out, drink alcohol, avoid certain foods? I don’t think Shaggy has ever skipped a meal in his life. He would probably have to be actually dying for that to happen. He isn’t a heavy drinker, he would only drink at, say, a party where he was being pressured to. There are no kinds of food he avoids. He isn’t a big fan of salads or tofu, but he’ll eat them before he goes hungry. With as much as he eats he does take in some healthy foods, but the amount of unhealthiness outweighs it. He could live off of things like pizza, chips, greasy burgers, tubs of ice cream, tacos, salty fries, chicken nuggets, you name it. It’s amazing he is able to stay as lean as he does.

ASSOCIATIONS !!

1. Color? Green. 2. Smell? Cologne, but not an overbearing amount. 3. Time of day? Lunchtime. 4. Season? Fall. 5. Book? To Kill A Mockingbird. 6. Music? 90′s alternative rock. 7. Place? Wherever his friends are. 8. Substance? Marijuana. 9. Plant? Besides the obvious answer...? 10. Animal? Dogs.

EVERY * LEADS TO A PICTURE !!

#watask #tasks.#stats.

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veliseraptor · 8 years ago

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I did this meme three weeks ago but I feel like I wanna do it again to see if I can corral my brain into cooperating with me.

Here are my WIPs! Send me a number and I’ll add 150 words to that story or edit for 15 minutes, depending on how complete it is. If I get the same number multiple times, I have to write more for that fic!

Eleven WIPs eligible for this meme (and 11 excerpts) under the read more.

1. And then there was Foster. Jane. There was no question as to what Doom wanted with her - undoubtedly her help using the Tesseract. But she was brave - foolishly brave. Loki would not be surprised if she refused outright. What would Doom do to her then? He couldn’t kill her, not while he needed her. Could he? Would he control her mind as he had tried to do to Loki? Torture her?

Thor would no doubt blame Loki for anything that happened to her. He had threatened her last time they’d seen each other. Loki felt vaguely ill at the reminder, and pushed it hard away. Dr. Foster, he reminded himself, was a detail. Her capture was unfortunate but primarily concerning because of its part in the wider picture.

Take care, Loki, she’d said. I hope you’re wrong. About what Thor might do.

I believe you. Just tell me how I can help.

Forget about her, Loki thought savagely. Focus. (Life in Reverse)

2. Steve wasn’t sure how Sam got everyone to step back and, if not sit down, at least a little further from erupting into violence. He was pretty sure it was some kind of miracle.

Loki placed himself as far from Bucky as possible, still wild-eyed and looking like he was just barely holding together. Bucky stood where he could see the door and the windows as well as Sam, Steve, and Loki, his expression stony. Steve longed to go over to him but planted himself in the middle, equidistant from both Loki and Bucky so if one of them moved he could respond quickly. Hopefully quickly enough.

“Loki,” he said. Loki’s eyes didn’t budge from Bucky, looking like he was about to start vibrating. “Loki,” Steve tried again, “Bucky’s not…part of HYDRA.” Bucky twitched at that name, and Steve wanted to apologize. He held back, for now. After this, when things had calmed down and he could actually talk to Bucky… “He’s a friend.”

Loki looked like he wasn’t sure whether he was going to try to go through the wall behind him or lunge at Bucky. “A friend,” he said, almost spat. “Then why was he there?” (Steve Rogers’ Halfway House for Notorious Supervillains)

3. A group protesting the alien invasion of the Earth (referring, Loki could only assume, to Thor, since the Chitauri were manifestly no longer present) set off a bomb in Cleveland, Ohio that had spewed a toxin that killed in seconds and were threatening to use another. Loki suspected they were not aware that their weaponry was alien in origin. Kree, if he did not miss his guess.

At any rate, naturally the Avengers were there, and he followed.

He meant just to watch. To take the measure of the situation and observe Rogers more closely, so he could be certain his protection could be effective.

That lasted about as long as it took for Rogers to run into an infected building and not come out again. Loki watched for thirty seconds, sixty, ninety…

No one else seemed to have noticed. Or else were just busy enough with their own difficulties not to notice.

Damn it. (Someone to Watch Over You)

4. He continued.

That was the best way Loki could think of to describe it – he did not feel it could be called living. Staring at the ceiling and listening to the quiet drip of the leak in an apartment above him, it occurred to Loki that perhaps that could describe everything he had done since falling from Asgard – since the first time he had decided to die, only to find that death would not accept him. Continuing. Forging doggedly onward because he did not know how to stop.

Apparently he still did not, though he also did not know how to do anything else. He hovered somewhere in between, like a shadow, a ghost. Just substantial enough to feel hunger pangs and thirst, to feel pain and weariness.

That last most of all. He was so tired, and that weight never left him no matter how long he slept. (post svartalfheim au)

5. Thor reached out to grab Loki’s arm and held it fast. “Explain,” he said, his voice vibrating. “Explain to me. Did you – I felt you die. You did not breathe, your heart was still-”

“I know what death is, Thor,” Loki said, trying to shake his hand off. “I lived it. As it were.” Something slipped across his face and was gone in a flash. “Obviously it did not stick, as you can see. That is unimportant right now-”

“Unimportant?” Thor burst out, incredulous. “How can you say – how, Loki, tell me how!”

Loki hissed. “Must you always ask the stupidest questions? How does not matter, nor does why. Do you want to stay here and wait for Her Majesty’s guard to catch us? She may decide to forgo the proper sacrifice and simply kill you prematurely. I am sure that prospect delights you.”

Anger throbbed in Thor’s stomach even as memory of Hela sent a shiver down his spine. He glanced over his shoulder.

“Fine,” he said, through his teeth. “We will do as you say and go. But do not think I will forget this. You will tell me the truth.”

“Ah, yes, the truth,” Loki said, and this time Thor let him yank his arm out of his grip. “Such a simple thing.” (Sword Age, Wolf Age)

6. “I will not go back to Asgard.” Loki’s voice was hard. “And I will not believe – why come now? How did he even learn that I was here?” Loki shook his head. “They want something from me, and that is the only reason Thor has been sent. And when he is refused – he may seem impatient and boorish now, but you have not seen his temper.”

Delightful, Steve thought. Aloud, he said, “you don’t have to go back, Loki. I’ll stand by you on that. He can’t make you do anything without going through me.”

“That is what worries me,” Loki said quietly, but after a moment seemed to shake himself. “You said you knew this…SHIELD. Who are they?”

“A secret organization,” Steve said. “They were…the people who dug me out of the ice, as far as I can tell. At least, they were the people who were there when I woke up. Gave me some resources and turned me loose, though I get the impression that they did it with the implied expectation I’d come when they called.”

Loki glanced toward the front seat, and Steve saw his fingers flick very slightly. “And what do they know about me?” He asked bluntly. Steve shook his head slowly.

“I don’t know. You weren’t...in any of the official histories, but…Peggy was part of the SSR, and the SSR turned into SHIELD. I don’t know what she might’ve said, or to who.”

“Ms. Carter was involved with these people?” Loki said, with a mixture of startlement and disdain. Steve held in the urge to laugh. (Thunderstorms)

7. Natasha found him there maybe an hour later and sat down next to him. “Heard you’re having trouble with your new assignment,” she said.

“You could say that,” Steve said wearily.

“I’d say ‘buyer’s remorse’ but that would probably be tacky,” she said. Steve winced, and she sat down. “Tony looked like he wanted to go on a three day bender when I saw him earlier. Anything you want to talk about?”

“How would you handle this?” Steve asked. Natasha’s eyebrows quirked.

“I wouldn’t have taken the job to begin with,” she said. “In fact, I didn’t. As far as I’m concerned, Asgard should have him back, and good riddance.” Steve grimaced, and she eyed him. “I’m pretty sure they only let Thor saddle us with him because they’re waiting for Loki to kill one of us so they can execute him without Thor getting in the way.”

Steve frowned. “Loki agrees with you.”

“That is…a disconcerting sentence,” Natasha said after a moment. “All right, I’ll humor you. What does Loki agree with me about?”

“That this sentence is a sham. Only he seems to think that the Council is trying to inconvenience me into giving him back.” Steve gave her a weary look. “Slavery would be bad enough, Nat. But this is torture.”

“There’s often not much of a line between the two.” (Tear My Castle Down)

8. “Do you think it’s Ross?” Clint asked, finally. “Seems to me like there’d be more bullet holes involved, if it was him.”

“If not Ross then who,” Bucky snapped, barely pausing in his pacing. “If someone has an idea of an alternative, now’s a good time to speak up, but I’m not sure we shouldn’t just shake Ross and see what falls out anyway.”

“Aliens,” Clint said, simply, and when they looked at him, shrugged. “I’m serious. We know they’re out there. We know a lot of them want Loki’s head on a stick, and they might consider a Earth hero a great bonus. That’d explain how they got in.”

Wanda swayed forward. “I didn’t sense anything,” she said. “Any magic, or…”

“Would you, if you didn’t recognize the type?” Clint asked, his voice going gentler. Pietro scowled at Sam, of all things.

“Aliens,” Bucky said flatly, staring at Clint. “If you think that’s what happened what do you suggest we do about it?”

Clint’s expression flickered. “Do you have a portal lying around somewhere, Barnes? I don’t know. You going to kill me over that?” (we’re not the only ones)

9. “You cannot heal death, Eir,” Loki mumbled. His eyes were still closed, and he did not sound quite conscious, but he clearly listened.

“You are not dead, Loki,” Eir said. “Despite your efforts in that direction.”

“Not yet,” Loki said. “But I am. Halfway. It just needs to finish.”

Eir glanced at Sif, who shook her head. “You need to stop this,” she said.

“No,” Loki said almost dreamily. “I need to end it.” He opened his eyes, an odd expression on his face suddenly, fear and distress. “No,” he said, seemingly to empty air. “Don’t leave me. Please. You have to stay.”

“Loki,” Eir said sternly. “There is no one there.”

A moment later he slumped and let out a shuddering sigh. “Not anymore,” he said, sounding suddenly very sad. “She’s gone.” (We Two)

10. Something faintly familiar about this boy prickled at the back of her mind, but she couldn’t quite pin it down. He looked - maybe ten or twelve, younger than her own sons, but small even for his age. His black hair looked mussed and like it needed a trim; her fingers itched a little for scissors to at least get it out of his eyes.

Wanda shook herself. This was a strange boy who had appeared in her house, and she knew well that few things were exactly what they seemed. “Who are you?” She asked, more firmly. “And what are you doing in my apartment?”

The boy looked a little surprised by the question. “Looking for you, of course,” he said. “You are Lady Wanda Maximoff, right?”

Lady Wanda Maximoff, she thought. That was a new one. “Yes,” she said. “I am, but that doesn’t really answer the question. Either one.”

The boy - squirmed. She studied his face, trying to puzzle out the source of that strange familiarity. “Oh, well,” he said. “You’re arguably the most powerful sorcerer - sorceress - on this - ah, planet, excepting maybe Doctor Strange, but he’s a bit - well, I don’t think we’d get along.” He gave Wanda a hopeful smile, eyes widening a calculated hair. “I’m very curious about magic, and there’s only so much one can get from books.”

Wanda narrowed her eyes. “So you broke into my house?” (untitled Wanda and Kid!Loki fic)

11. “My right,” she said in disgust. “So it’d be justified, because-? Never mind. Don’t answer that.” She made a noise back in her throat. “It bothers me because it disgusts me.” Loki went rigid, and she went on before he could interrupt. “It disgusts me that, no matter what you say about consent, apparently no one ever thought to mention to you that consent still matters when you’re asking someone to hurt you. It disgusts me that I could have – have? – done something you didn’t want and you didn’t tell me to stop because you didn’t think you had the right. And it disgusts me that you can’t tell the difference between torture and sex because apparently for you there isn’t one.”

Loki blinked at her like she was speaking a strange language, and Natasha resisted the urge to strangle him. He’d let her, too. She remembered last time she had. He’d stopped her before it’d gone too far, but she’d tested it because she hadn’t quite believed he would.

She’d known, even then, that she was walking a dangerous line. But she hadn’t thought about what it might mean. Not really. (Privation)

#fic excerpt #meme #confessions of a frustrated writer

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jqmwol6y-blog · 5 years ago

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My front axle broke while driving and the whole wheel came off. Should my insurance cover this?

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useyourrwords · 6 years ago

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Shoutout Sunday // The Last Shout Out Sunday – Are You Ready?

It’s Been a Good Run

I started doing Shout Out Sunday earlier in the year as a way to share the love with other bloggers and to make sure that I took the time to sit down and read up on everyone’s posts.

It’s been a success so far so why am I changing it?

I’ve decided to bring all of my monthly posts, except Ancient Archive, to one place so I have a little more room to try out other posts!

I promise I’ll still be shouting out other people’s posts, it just won’t be in a Shout Out Sunday post anymore.

I want to try doing new things but I’ve found that with the posts I already have, there isn’t much room unless I want to get rid of some of my series or post more than four times a week.

Four posts a week is enough for me and I think trying to do any more than that might make my blog feel less like fun and more like work and I already have a job. I’ve done the working multiple jobs at once thing already. It sucks enough when you’re actually being paid for them all, let alone when you’re only paid for one job.

I really like the series I am already doing so I don’t want to change that either!

Putting my TBRs, Wrap-Ups, Hauls and my Shout Out Sunday all in one place just makes sense to me!

However, since I’ve been gone so long, I had to split them up a one last time in order to not have you reading the same post for an hour. And then I decided to combine everything starting in the new year but next month Shoutout Sunday will be part of the Month in Review post under Posts I loved.

This one is going to be quite long because I spent the last two weeks playing catch up on everyone’s posts for the last four months.

When I went on hiatus I had planned to still read and keep up with everyone else’s blogs but that just didn’t happen!

I’m all caught up now so it’s time to share the love and tell you about all the posts I loved reading and thought you might too!

Reviews

1.│Krystin @ Here’s The Fucking Twist│Jane Doe by Victoria Helen Stone│ Kystin’s review made me want to pick this book up immediately!* And her critique of Christianity? Here for it!

2.│Krystin @ Here’s The Fucking Twist│Any Man by Amber Tamblyn│ If you can’t tell already, I love Krystin’s reviews A LOT but OMG this one, in particular, I felt what she was saying in my bones!

3.│Destiny @ Howling Libraries│TO BE HONEST — MAGGIE ANN MARTIN│ This is an #ownvoices book with fat rep and Destiny’s review made me fall a bit in love the main character I haven’t even picked it up yet!

4.│Elise @ The Bookish Actress│How To Write a Great, Not-Boring, Interesting Review│ Listen, writing reviews can be hard! When I get into a reviewing slump I dread writing them but I also want to write them. You see my problem??? And that added pressure of actually making them interesting and coherent? Impossible! Unless you have Elise’s very helpful review guide and then nothing can stop you!

5.│Avery @ Red Rocket Panda│NEGATIVE REVIEWS│ Everybody loves a good rant review, I know I do! I enjoy reading them and writing them. But Avery wants to talk about when negative reviews can become harmful. Avery does a great job of discussing the nuance of negative reviews in his post.

6.│May @ Forever and Everly│Do Book Ratings Have Anything to Do with Critical Reading??│ May discusses her changes in her rating averages over the last few months and if becoming a more critical reader has had an influence on that! Should we judge people on what their average rating is? What are all the different things that can have an impact on your average rating?

7.│Aimee @ Aimee, Always│How to Style Your Book Reviews│ Let’s face it, looks matter. No, I’m not talking about how you, as a person, look on the outside, I’m talking books! I know I’m more likely to visit a post based on how it looks. I am here admitting that I am a shallow person when it comes to what I read online. Aimee does a great job of explaining why including certain things in your review is important AND some useful coding to help you out!

*I mean I won’t because I have a TBR so long I can’t see past it but I will get to it ASAP!

Recommendations

1.│Krystin @ Here’s The Fucking Twist│Mystery and Thriller Releases for Fall 2018!│ If y’all love creepy reads that keep you on edge this time of year then keep your eye on the books Krystin talks about that have just come out/are about to come out because she has tastes and is an expert in the genre at this point.

2.│Destiny @ Howling Libraries│HORROR RECOMMENDATIONS, PT. I + HORROR RECOMMENDATIONS, PT. II│ Okay, so technically Halloween has been and gone but I know that there will be many of you who are sad about that so why not keep the festivities going??? I’m sure as hell not going to judge you for it! What’s the best way to do that? visit Destiny’s posts and read it up!

3.│Laura @ Green Tea & Paperbacks│DON’T WATCH INSATIABLE; READ THESE BOOKS WITH FAT MAIN CHARACTERS INSTEAD│ Why oh why does media seem to always get it so fucking wrong when it comes to fat rep???? If you are feeling all of these things too, you should definitely check out Laura’s post and read any of the books on her list!

4.│Elise @ The Bookish Actress│Favorite Slump Reads // A Rec List│ Slumps proper suck ass so if you’re in the middle of one and are beginning to lose hope then this post is for you! If you’re not in a slump, YAY! But maybe save this post just in case, I’m sure future-slump-you will thank you!

5.│Marta @ The Cursed Books│READING SLUMPS 101│ Marta gives us the lowdown on reading slumps and how to trick your brain into reading! She’s got some great tips in there so if you’re suffering from a case of the slumps check it out!

6.│Kat @ Novels & Waffles│How to Get Your Hands on English Books While Living Overseas│ As an expat, Kat has some really great tips on how to read books in English while living overseas! She includes ways to buy your own physical books as well as sources for reading books free and legally!

7.│Marie @ Drizzle & Hurricane Books│HOW CAN BOOKS COMBAT THE STIGMAS AROUND MENTAL ILLNESS│ Marie is hosting the Shattering Stigmas event on her blog last month and for this post, she had Marta @ The Cursed Books on to talk about how damaging stigmas on mental health can be from a psychology student’s perspective. She also shared what books she recommends people read to help combat any internalized stigmas they might have personally.

8.│Vicky @ Vicky Who Reads│Combat Biphobia with These Awesome Book Recs!│ Want to celebrate bi-ness in all its gorgeous glory? Want to see yourself represented as a bi individual then look no further than this great list of books with bi rep!

TBRs

1.│Destiny @ Howling Libraries│READING SCHEDULES│ So one of Destiny’s previous posts spurred me on to start scheduling my reading and OMG it helped me so much?? I highly recommend giving it ago and checking out Destiny’s post to see how she schedules her reading!

2.│Jamieson @ JamiShelves│SEPTEMBER TBR – Return of the Structured TBR│ On the back of scheduled TBR reading, I also have a problem where I get carried away at the library and leave with TOO MANY BOOKS!!! I think if I start doing structured TBRs then maybe I’ll be able to refrain myself and actually read the ARCs that have been sitting in my Kindle app for months.

ARCs

1.│Jamieson @ JamiShelves│The downsides of ARCs│ Jamieson wants us to be more open about the downsides of receiving ARCs and I totally agree with her. I’m all about a more transparent community and as great as getting ARCs are, it is still a very much flawed system that can be better and the only way to make things better is to talk about the not so nice parts of a system.

2.│May @ Forever and Everly│All About ARCs│ May also discussed the downsides of ARCs. In her posts, she covers the pressure, privilege and issue of payment that bloggers that read and review ARCs are faced with. She also touches on how important, and yet harder it is for marginalized bloggers to get ARCs for books that represent them!

3.│Marta @ The Cursed Books│EVERYTHING YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ARCS│ Marta has made up a great post with information all things ARCS, from what they are, to how to get them she even includes email addresses for publishers that work with international bloggers and what to include in your email! Guys!!! How great is that??? Marta also created a spreadsheet with international bloggers contact information to send to publishers and authors interested in working with us specifically! How great is that?

4.│Laura @ Green Tea & Paperbacks│A BLOGGERS GUIDE TO REQUESTING PHYSICAL ARCS│ Laura shares her brilliant guide to requesting ARCs as an international author! She shares some great tips, as well as including some email addresses for publishers and an email outline for you to take away some of the anxiety that can come from emailing someone about something for the first time!

5.│Inside My Library Mind│All You Need to Know to Start Using Edelweiss│ Inside My Library Mind shared an extensive post about how to navigate and make the most of Edelweiss for requesting EARCs and guys this is the post I’ve been waiting for!

Discussions

1.│Silvia @ Silvia Reads Books│book piracy, representation and international readers│ Silvia did a great post about book piracy and why the solution isn’t as clear-cut as “just go to the library”. She really captured everything I wanted to say on the topic!

2.│Amber @ Ambsreads│Are Trigger Warnings Spoilers?│ Amber chats about why she thinks trigger warning should be included and also why they should be included in books as well and YES YES YES I 100% AGREE! I’ve been very slack with including trigger warnings in my reviews and I could give every excuse under the sun but the bottom line is that I just couldn’t be bothered and I don’t want to be that person anymore so this is basically me announcing that I will not be lazy and will include trigger warnings in my reviews to the best of my ability, and you should too!

3.│Cait @ Paper Fury│IS IT BETTER TO READ ABOUT CHARACTERS WHO ARE LIKE YOU…OR DIFFERENT?│ I loved reading Cait’s post because it shares just how important it is to read both types of characters, at least in my opinion!

4.│Fadwa @ Word Wonders│WHY ASEXUAL REPRESENTATION IS IMPORTANT│ Fadwa does this incredible series called #DiverseBookBloggersDiscuss and I love it! She gets other book bloggers to do a post for her blog about diversity to share the voices of people we might have missed otherwise. In this post, she has Jill @ A Book Nerd Reads to share why asexual representation is important and I think it’s a great post that people should check out!

Writing

1.│Michelle @ The Writing Hufflepuff│Why I Often Don’t Write Even Though I Love Writing│ Michelle shares about the war we can sometimes have with ourselves when it comes to writing! This is a great post to read if you’re struggling to find the time to write or just can’t seem to sit down and do it!

2.│Michelle @ The Writing Hufflepuff│Some Snippets! // Part I + More Snippets // Part II│ I’ve read basically every post Michelle has done on her current WIP and I am already very much in love with it! In this two-part series, Michelle shares some bits from her WIP with us and OMG!!! It’s sooooo good! Go read them! Please!

3.│Michelle @ The Writing Hufflepuff│My WIP As Incorrect Quotes And Memes│ I love incorrect quotes and I love Michelle’s work in progress so I absolutely adored reading this post and you should read it too!

4.│Vicky @ Vicky Who Reads│What NOT to Do When Describing Race in Novels│ Vicky gives some great tips on how to not describe race in your own writing! Writing as a white author who wants to help bring diversity to the book world can be daunting but if you read this post and really take in what Vicky is saying then you’re at the very least on the right track (and like, actually put what she says to use)!

5.│Fadwa @ Word Wonders│ARABS & MUSLIMS IN YA LITERATURE│ This is another #DiverseBookBloggersDiscuss post and this time around it’s Angel @ Invisible In Ink at the helm! They share how to respectfully write Arabic and Muslim characters in YA and why it’s important to include the not-so-little things that people outside of those identities might miss.

6.│Aimee @ Aimee, Always│5 Things I Want to See in Contemporary Books with POC Representation│ Aimee shares what she wants to see people include in their contemporaries that have POC characters! It’s a great post to read if you’re writing exactly that and I’ll for sure be referring back to it in the future!

7.│Abbiee│How to Write a Hate To Love Romance that Feels Natural, Believable, and Brilliant│ Abbiee shares how to write the much-loved trope, hate to love romances, that actually feel believable! I love Abbiee’s how-tos because she really gets into it and explains everything for you so you’re not just lost and confused!

8.│Abbiee│How to Write a Strong Opening for Your Novel│ Abbiee shares how to get readers to invest in your book from the get-go and how just having a good opening sentence isn’t always the key, it’s so much more than that!

9.│Abbiee│How To Effectively CUT WORDS From Your Novel│ Ouch. It’s the thing that all writers dread but it’s also an unavoidable inevitability if you want to have your work published and make it the best version it can be! Abbiee takes us through how to effectively cut words and also when its good to break your English teacher’s rules of using “weak words”.

10.│Abbiee│How to Include All That BACKSTORY in Your Novel│ Knowing when and how much backstory to include in your novel can be confusing and difficult! You don’t want readers to wonder “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON” or think “I AM SO BORED WHERE IS THE EXIT” and putting your book down and never picking it up again! Abbiee shares some super great tips on how to avoid both of those scenarios!

11.│Abbiee│How to Write a Gripping Contemporary Novel that Readers Can’t Put Down│ Read Abbiee’s post for tips on how to make your contemporary interesting and action-packed so you don’t lose your readers!

12.│Cait @ Paper Fury│HOW TO KEEP WRITING WHEN YOU HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS│ Doing things while battling mental illness is hard! Cait shares her tips on how to beat the voices back so you can do what you love: write!

13.│Cait @ Paper Fury│HOW I GOT AN AGENT AND A BOOK DEAL│ Cait has a real life book! Like out in the world, on people’s bookshelves and everything! She shares her journey to get to that point, including how to get an agent and book deal! Bask in her knowledge and wisdom and use it for yourself!

14.│Cait @ Paper Fury│5 THINGS I DID TO BECOME A BETTER WRITER│ Being a published author DOES NOT happen overnight! As much as the industry sometimes likes us to believe that, it just isn’t true. Cait shares her tips on how she became a better writer before being published!

The Book Community

1.│Destiny @ Howling Libraries│BLOG/SOCIAL MEDIA SHOUT-OUTS!│ Want to know who in the book community to follow on all their social media platforms? Look no further than Destiny’s Top Ten Tuesday post! There are loads of great content creators in there and I found some new people to follow myself too!

2.│Elise @ The Bookish Actress│MY FAVORITE BOOKTUBERS│ Need more great booktubers in your life? Here’s a list of great Booktubers! I love Allie @ Hardback Hoarder and Emma @ EmmmaBooks but I also found a lot of people new to me to follow!

3.│Julianna @ Paper Blots│Things I Want to See in the Book Community│ I love the book community but it’s not without its problems and it definitely has room for improvement! Julianna tells us what she would like to see a change in the community and I have to admit, I very much agree with her!

Books in Other Media

1.│Jamieson @ JamiShelves│FILM ADAPTATION FRIDAY SERIES – The Foxhole Court, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo + The Rave Cycle│ I love a good screen adaption of a book and it seems that Hollywood is starting to really do them justice?? Is that just me?? Anyway, I was very excited to see Jamieson’s new series and OMG it’s so good! Her vision for these adaptions are sooooo spot on for me. I need them now!

2.│Inside My Library Mind│Bookish Podcast Recommendations│ I love books! I love podcasts! I am yet to find a bookish podcast that grabs me though. That makes me very sad but I am yet to lose hope, especially now that Inside My Library Mind has posted loads of recs for me! I am most excited to try out Ravin’ Girls, a The Raven Cycle podcast when I reread The Raven Boys next year!

Media

1.│Elise @ The Bookish Actress│WHY THE CANCELLED HEATHERS REBOOT MATTERS│ I am yet to watch the OG Heathers film. I will get to it eventually, I swear. I was interested when I saw that they were doing a remake. Unfortunately by the sounds of it…It’s not good, like at all. And thanks to Elise, neither I or you, need to waste our time giving it a watch! You can read Elise’s review of the series instead!

2.│Steff @ Little Booky Nook│Sierra Burgess is a Terrible Movie│ I was really looking forward to Sierra Burgess is a Loser. A teen rom-com with a fat MC??? When do we ever get that??? Well turns out that the rep is…not good. Surprise! I really did set myself up for disappointment, didn’t I? Anyway, if you’re unsure if you want to watch Sierra Burgess or watched it and are feeling things you can’t seem to put into words, check out Steff’s rant!

Personal

1.│Steff @ Little Booky Nook│My Body Battle│ Steff opened up about the battle she has with her body, how she continues to overcome it each and every day and guys…I cried reading this. It breaks my heart that people everywhere are made to feel like this and I hate it so much. This was such a brave post and I truly believe that sharing our stories put us on the road to recovery, as well as helping others feel less alone and dismantling the structures that make us feel this way, to begin with.

2.│Elise @ The Bookish Actress│TEN BOOKS THAT DESCRIBE ME│ Books have a fantastic way of making us feel less alone, seem like we’re not totally fucking crazy for all the thoughts and feelings we keep hidden in our deepest and darkest crevices. Elise shares the books that connected with her the most on a personal level and I think it’s such a great idea for a post! It’s a really great way for subscribers to get to know you!

3.│Fadwa @ Word Wonders│HOW BOOKS HELPED ME ACKNOWLEDGE MY TRAUMA│ Along the same lines of Elise’s post, Fadwa shared how books helped her acknowledge her trauma and !!!!!! Fadwa opens up in her post and shares the books that did this for her and I urge you to read it. It’s not easy to lay your cards out on the table like that, so it deserves recognition.

4.│Abbiee│How I Organize My Time to GET STUFF DONE│ I am convinced that Abbiee is the most got-her-shit-together person to ever exist and this post only supports that. If you need help getting shit done, feeling a little lost because your life is always a fucking mess or you just want to find new ways to organize your already tidy life then look no further than this post!

5.│Krystin @ Here’s The Fucking Twist│My Hometown Murder│ Krystin does these really epic True Crime Tuesday posts, a la My Favorite Murder, where she takes a murder and shares all it’s gory details with us to help keep us up at night and ensure we never trust another human being again. They’re great! No, really, they really are amazing and I love them! In September she shared her very own hometown murder! Nothing like hearing that one of your neighbours was murdered to keep you up at night and regularly attending a therapist for your anxiety! There’s a reason I don’t watch local news guys. As always, Krystin gives us her spin on the terrible things that can happen around the corner. Her posts are always super interesting and keep me on the edge of my seat, so go check it out!

Blogging

│Kelly @ Another Book in the Wall│Blog Designs And The Influence They Can Have│ Looks matter when it comes to blogging. No, not how your face or body looks. But how book covers look and more importantly, how your blog looks. Kelly shares how blogging designs can affect your traffic and how to give your blog the best chance at being seen!

│Aimee @ Aimee, Always│5 Free Blog Design Resources│ When you start your blog it can be overwhelming, its hard to even know where to start! Aimee is here to the rescue, supplying great resources so that you get the look of your blog right!

│Inside My Library Mind│All About Blog Organization & Aesthetics│ Inside My Library Mind shares how best to organise your blog in a way that’ll keep your blog looking good and functional!

│Shealea @ That Bookshelf Bitch│Tools for book blogging│ Shealea put together a list of great tools for book bloggers! My personal favourite is Grammarly.

│Abbiee│7 Awesome Tools And Resources Every Blogger Needs│ More great blogging tools and resources I had no idea about until I read this post!!! I tried out IFTTT and I will never look back!

│Marie @ Drizzle & Hurricane Books│ORGANIZE YOUR BOOK BLOGGING LIFE│ It’s easy to get lost and lose track of time and find yourself very very behind in life, let alone in blogging. Marie shares her tips on how to get ahead and stay there! + She shares her super handy spreadsheets. I love a good spreadsheet.

│Aimee @ Aimee, Always│How To Make a Blogging Schedule That Works For You│ If you’re someone who struggles with that, look no further than Aimee’s post. Bonus! Aimee shares her spreadsheet for keeping track of her ARCs and I stole it, you can do by following her handy link at the end of the post.

│Destiny @ Howling Libraries│NEW BLOGGING GOALS│ Sometimes the only way to encourage yourself to do better is to set realistic goals and then stick to them! I really need to do that. If you want to set yourself some realistic goals then check out Destiny’s for some inspiration!

│Marie @ Drizzle & Hurricane Books│HOW TO GAIN FOLLOWERS AND INTERACTIONS│ “TALK TO ME!!!!!!!” Us bloggers scream into the abyss on a regular basis, begging someone to talk to us because “I promise I won’t bite” and being behind a screen can get lonely. If you want to learn how to get more people to interact and follow you then check out Marie’s post!

│Aimee @ Aimee, Always│Blog Engagement Tips│ Aimee shares even more tips on how to engage with your followers and get people to support your blog!

│Abbiee│How To Make People Stay On Your Blog LONGER│ Want to learn how to hold your blog visitors hostage and never let them go??? Then this post is for you! The best tip, I think, is linking back to your old posts to keep your readers falling further and further into the dark hole that you’ve created in your corner of the internet. I do not endorse actual kidnapping.

│Inside My Library Mind│How to Blog When You’re Not Reading│ It’s easy to think that if you’re not reading then you can’t blog if you’re a book blogger but that’s not true in the slightest! If you are unable to read for whatever reason (all valid) but still want to continue blogging then check out Inside My Library Mind’s tips on how to do so!

│Aimee @ Aimee, Always│A Masterlist of Bookish/Book Blog Posts and Topics│ Everyone talks about the dreaded Book Slump. But rarely do I see talk about blogging slumps and yet they’re so real and very frustrating when they happen! Aimee shares her Masterlist of posts to write if you’re struggling for content!

│Marie @ Drizzle & Hurricane Books│HOW TO SUPPORT INTERNATIONAL BOOK BLOGGERS│ Being an international book blogger comes with an extra set of hurdles. It is a fact. I won’t fight you on this. We could use all the help we can get so if you want to help support the international book bloggers in your life, read this post and do the things. I thank you on behalf of us all.

What great posts have you read lately? Have a post you’re really proud of? Maybe you have a post you think could help people in some way? Link me them! Tell me all about them! I’ll check them out!

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