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katsu28 · 4 months ago

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Kissing away their tears with lando, please and thank you!!🫶🏻

anything for you rachel my love <3 ily!

lando norris x reader, 1.6k, there's a crash but no descriptions of injury. request something from here!

“Norris is doing really well today, isn’t he?”

You’re not sure whose mouth the words come out of, but your head whips in their general direction, as do the rest of folks in the VIP box. Variations of “Shut the fuck up!” echo around the room, people grumbling to each other about those who obviously don’t know one of the biggest unspoken rules in sports.

Whenever a player, or in this case, a driver, happens to be doing well in a match (or race), you never, ever mention that they are. You can think it, you can say it in your head, but you don’t ever say it out loud. When those words make it out into the open air, bad things happen.

Call it stupid, call it superstition, but it’s a known sentiment in sports—Formula One especially. It’s like eating the same breakfast or listening to the same song before every race, or wearing a certain item of clothing every race day because you believe it brings you luck.

Does it actually bring you luck? Maybe, maybe not, but you do it anyway because of the possibility that it could.

You take a deep breath, squeezing your eyes shut with a prayer to whatever higher power out there is listening.

Please, please, please don’t let anything fuck up Lando’s race.

Your prayer is futile.

You hear it before you see it on the TV—a loud crash. Tires skidding over asphalt with a deafening screech, metal grinding on metal, carbon fiber snapping off chassis and skidding across the track.

Instantly, you know there’s been a collision. Your heart leaps into your throat at the single thought that screams its way through your mind like an emergency alarm.

Was it Lando?

A hush falls over the track, and suddenly the only thing you can hear is the thundering of your heartbeat in your ears.

On the screen flashes an aerial shot of what you assume is the scene of the crash, but you can’t see much through the smoke and dust. The vague misshapen lump of a mangled car, a wheel rolling away from the wreckage, then—

Your heart drops out of your ass.

The car is bright orange. And as the cloud of dust gets blown away by the strong wind on track, your eyes zero in on the unmistakable fluoro green of Lando’s helmet.

He’s not moving.

No, no, no, no.

Your body is in the move before your brain even realizes you’re running, sprinting through the hall, down the stairs that would take you to the McLaren garage. You’re dodging people, you’re dodging equipment and carts and everything of the sort like a pro. All the while, you feel like you can’t breathe because you don’t know if your boyfriend is okay. You don’t even know if he’s alive.

That’s what scares you the most.

You’re stopped by track security before you can enter through to the garage. You show the guard your pass, but he still keeps you there, muttering something into a walkie talkie that you don’t understand.

“Come on, mate! Do you see what it says? Let me through, please!” You plead, near tears at this point.

The frantic part of you wants to push right past this knob and find Lando yourself, but you know the only good that’ll do is get yourself thrown out, and that’s the last thing you need right now. Your best option is to play nice, despite all the worst thoughts running rampant in your mind.

The guard takes what seems like a lifetime to look over your pass, glances up at you, then back down to the pass, but steps aside eventually, waving you into the bustling garage. You force yourself to calm down a smidge, not wanting to disturb any part of Oscar’s race.

From there, it’s not hard to find Lando’s race engineer. Will looks less worried than you, even as he paces back and forth with his headphones still on.

“Will!” You blurt, coming to an abrupt stop in front of the tall man. “Please tell me he’s okay.”

“There you are! I sent someone up to the box to fetch you ages ago. Lando’s at the medical center now, he’s conscious, coherent,” Will says. You let out a sigh of barely there relief. At least he’s alive. “He was asking for you. Reckon you’ll be able to see him after the medics check him out, if you want to go wait there.”

“Yes. Yeah, yes, thank you, Will,” You breathe, wrangling him in a quick hug before making a mad dash back through the halls towards the medical station.

You’re panting when you get there, fully aware you probably look mental to any sane person, but you don’t care. All you care about is getting to Lando. “Hi, where’s Lando Norris? McLaren driver, number 4, was brought in after the crash at turn ten?”

The friendly looking woman at the front table smiles sympathetically. “You’re his girlfriend, aren’t you? He told us you’d be worried. Wanted us to make sure someone found you.”

“I am, yeah. Is he—can I see him?”

“Sorry, dear. The medic team is still doing their tests and all that. Best let them be for now, but I’ll tell you what.” She leans in like she’s about to divulge some big secret. “I’ll let Lando know you’re here. Technically, I’m not supposed to, but you both seem like you could use a little break.”

“Thank you,” You say shakily, inhaling a wavering breath. “Thank you so much.”

“Of course, dear. You just sit tight over here, alright?”

That’s exactly what you do. You sit in the metal folding chair and you wait.

Nearly an hour passes and you’re still no closer to seeing Lando than you already were. The race is nearing its end, and you don’t want to bother the nice lady who’d already bent the rules for you once, but you’re almost at your wits end.

You’ve got your head in your hands when you hear your name called. It’s the lady again, telling you you’re able to go see Lando now. You're not sure what to expect when you make your way into the station, but you've gone through so many possibilities in your head you feel like you've adequately prepared yourself for almost anything.

Lando is sitting on the edge of the gurney when you walk into the room, legs swinging aimlessly as he secures his watch around his wrist.

He’s okay. He’s sweaty and covered in dust and dirt and looks like hell, but he’s okay.

You’re not sure why that realization, the one you’ve been waiting for this whole time, is the final crack in the dam. Lando’s eyes snap to you at the same time you rush forward, jumping off the bed with a tiny grimace and crossing the cramped room to bring you against his chest.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” He soothes, holding your sobbing frame tight. You’ve got two fists twisted into the lapels of his racing suit, clutching at it like you're afraid he’ll slip right through your fingers. “I’m alright, love. I’m fine, I promise.”

“I heard you—I saw—” You can’t even get the words out through the tears streaming freely down your face.

“I know. Fuck, I know, I’m so sorry.”

You feel his lips press against your tear soaked cheeks, kissing all over your face until your breathing levels out. Even when you do stop hyperventilating, Lando continues to litter gentle pecks all around, finally stopping with one long, lingering kiss to your forehead.

You’re finally able to release your death grip on the front of his suit, attempting to smooth out the wrinkles as if it wasn’t already completely a mess.

On instinct, one of your hands slides over his fireproofs, splaying over his chest right where his heart is. It beats strongly under your palm, if not a little faster when you look him in the eyes. It helps, but it does little to get rid of the knotted ball of fear that’s been sitting right on your chest this entire time. But hey, at least you’re not crying anymore.

“There’s my girl,” He hums, swiping the pad of his thumb under your eyes gently to rid you of any stray tear tracks. His free hand comes to blanket yours where it remains on his chest, fingers curing over your own. “Hi there. Are you alright?”

“Fuck me, I’m a mess,” You say, sniffling. “I should be the one checking on you and here I am crying like a baby. How are you? Are you hurt, what did the medics say?” You size him up for any outward injuries, patting around his suit gently. Your hand presses against his torso and he winces a little bit at the sudden pressure, but tuts at the wide eyed look you give him.

“I’m fine, darling. Few bruised ribs and bumps from impact but otherwise a clean bill of health. Don’t even need to go to the hospital.”

“Thank god,” You sigh, slumping forward against his chest in relief. “That was so fucking scary.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” He murmurs, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. His nose presses into your hair, inhaling as deep as he can without pain twinging in his sides. “I’m so sorry you had to see that.”

You shake your head firmly. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Me too.”

“How’s the car?”

Lando grimaces, shaking his head. “Totaled. Not great.”

“Is Zak mad?”

“He’s definitely not happy, but I reckon he’s more relieved I’m okay.”

“That makes two of us.” You hug him again, careful of his bruised ribs. “I would’ve hit him with your front wing if he was more worried about the damn car.”

Lando lets out a snort of high pitched laughter, though it does sound a little nervous. He knows you're serious. “Babe, you can’t just whack my boss with a broken off piece of the car.”

“Would you stop me?”

“I’d feel obligated to or else I might be fired.”

“But would you?”

“Let’s just put a pin in that for now.”

follow @katsu-library to be notified when i post new fics :)

#requested!#lando norris #lando norris x reader #ln4 x reader #lando norris x fem!reader #lando norris x you #lando norris fic #lando norris angst #lando norris fluff #lando norris one shot

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chocolatepot · 6 months ago

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Hi! Can you elaborate on "Fuck GRRM's committment to 'historical realism' without knowing anything about medieval social history"? I would love to know about what GRRM gets wrong about medieval gender roles, specifically.

So Cersei learns at an early age that she has no agency, her only value is producing heirs and is barred from traditional routes of power so she has to use underhanded methods such as influencing men with sex or using underhanded magical means. I would love an explanation on why this doesn't reflect medieval queen consorts and noble women irl.

Sure! The basic summary is: GRRM "knows" the things that everyone "knows" about the middle ages, which are broad stereotypes often reflective of a) primary sources that deserve a critical reading rather than being taken at face value and b) the judgements of later periods making themselves look better at the medieval period's expense.

As Shiloh Carroll argues, building on the work of Helen Young, “readers are caught in a ‘feedback loop’ in which Martin’s work helps to create a neomedieval idea of the Middle Ages, which then becomes their idea of what the Middle Ages ‘really’ looked like, which is then used to defend Martin’s work as ‘realistic’ because it matches their idea of the real Middle Ages.”

Since you're mainly interested in Cersei here, I'd strongly recommend a book: Queenship and the Women of Westeros: Female Agency and Advice in Game of Thrones and A Song of Ice and Fire, edited by Zita Eva Rohr and Lisa Benz. It's an excellent read and speaks to exactly what you're asking about. The tone of the book is very positive and non-judgemental when it comes to GRRM and his depictions of women on the whole, but I think some of this is rhetorical positioning to not seem like "mean angry academics jumping on fiction for not being accurate," as the actual content turns the reader to thinking about how much agency and power medieval queens had in different European societies and how little of that worked its way into GRRM's worldbuilding.

It's true that women typically didn't inherit titles and thrones in their own right, and that they were usually given in marriage for political/dynastic reasons. However, they weren't seen as brood mares whose only duty was to pop out sons: both queens and noblewomen had roles to play as household managers, counselors, and lieutenants, actively participating in the ruling of their domains and in local and international diplomacy (women in political alliances were not just pawns sent to a powerful man's bed, but were to act as ambassadors for their families and to pass information back and forth), and they had to be raised with an understanding of this so that they could learn to do it. Motherhood was very important, don't get me wrong, but it's a mistake to assume as pop culture does that a wife's foremost duty being to provide heirs for her family meant that she was ONLY seen as a mother/potential mother.

Catelyn is a great example of what was expected of women in these positions. But in the books, Catelyn is basically the only woman who inhabits this role, and the impression given is that she's exceptional, that she's just in charge of the household because she's so great at it that Ned allows her to be his partner, and that he listens to her advice because she happens to be a wise person in his orbit - and also that Ned is exceptional for giving so much power to a woman, because in the world of ASOIAF, it takes an especially good man to do this. In GRRM's view of the medieval world, realpolitik and the accumulation of power are the most important things, so men in Westeros are extremely unlikely to give up any authority to their wives, even though this is historically inaccurate.

Cersei, on the other hand, is supposed to be a more realistic depiction of what would happen to an ambitious medieval woman. There's a chapter titled "Queen of Sad Mischance: Medievalism, “Realism,” and the Case of Cersei Lannister" in the book I've rec'd, and it deals with why this is problematic extremely well. (This is the source of the quote at the top of this post.) In it, Kavita Mudan Finn argues that Cersei embodies pretty much every medieval trope for the illegitimate wielding of power by a woman. She underhandedly gets people killed for opposing her, she seduces men into doing her bidding, she advances her family's interests and her own at the expense of the realm. She's made sympathetic through fannish interpretation and Lena Headey's performance, but in the text she's an evil woman doing evil things. Even when she gets to be regent for her son - a completely legitimate historical position that allowed women to handle the levers of power almost exactly like a king - she continues to do shitty things and not be taken seriously because she's just not good at ruling.

But even before then, from a medieval perspective she had access to completely legitimate power that she didn't use: she'd have had estates giving her a large personal income, religious establishments to patronize (giving her a good reputation as a pious woman and people she'd put in high positions being personally loyal to her), artists and writers to patronize as well, power over her household, men around her listening to her counsel. That she doesn't have that is a reflection of GRRM either deciding these things don't really exist in Westeros in order to make it a worse world than medieval Europe and justify Cersei feeling she had to use underhanded means of power, or not knowing that they were ordinary and unexceptional because he has a good working knowledge of the politics of the Wars of the Roses but little to no knowledge of social history beyond pop culture osmosis, and, imo, little to no interest in actual power dynamics.

There are a lot of books I'd recommend on this subject. There's a series from Palgrave Macmillan called "Queenship and Power" and nearly all the books in it are THE BEST. Theresa Earenfight's Queenship in Medieval Europe is a very readable introduction to the situations of queens in European societies across the continent. She also has a book, Women and Wealth in Late Medieval Europe, that also addresses non-royal women's power. I'm also a huge fan of English Aristocratic Women, 1450-1550: Marriage and Family, Property and Careers, by Barbara Harris, which really emphasizes the "career" aspect of women's lives as administrators and diplomats.

#medieval #asoiaf #queens #queenship #history #middle ages

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taintedtort · 7 months ago

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can you do some kazuha (genshin) fluff headcanons please🙏🙏🙏 its a bit hard to find some on here

" BEST BOYFRIEND AWARD! "

summary. kazuha headcannons :)

character. kazuha :P

warnings. gn!reader, established relationship, modern!au in a few

a/n. i love doing these! i do agree that we need more kazuha hcs lolz

☆ he lets you play with his hair :) loves when you braid it

☆ he writes haiku‘s about you, but sometimes he gets a little embarrassed reading them

☆ rarely ever gets mad at you. like ever.

☆ ^ if you do somehow manage to upset him, i think he’d be very forgiving and probably forget about it if you just apologized

☆ he takes soooo many photos of you (they’re either super super good and make professional photographers look bad, or they’re blurry and horrible)

☆ he prints out photos of you guys and hangs them on his wall. when he’s on the ship he keeps a couple of his favorites in his pocket/wallet

☆ there‘s a polaroid photo of you in the back of his phone case

☆ he makes you hearts out of gum wrappers lol

☆ he asks you to wear ALL his clothes before a long trip so they all smell like you

☆ probably snags one of your shirts or something before a long trip as well so he can sleep on it

☆ would protect you with his LIFE. NOTHING bad is happening to you

☆ gives you flowers every chance he gets, sometimes for no reason at all

☆ ^sometimes fake ones so you can keep them forever

☆ refuses to let you open any kind of door (that tiktok trend where the guy jumps over the car to open the door 😭 that’s him)

☆ loves to match clothes with you

☆ constantly touching you. either holding your hand, laying a hand on your thigh, or an arm around your shoulder… he’s gotta be touching you all the time

☆ calls you every petname ever

☆^asks which one you like the best and calls you that one most of the time

☆ practically forces you to take his clothes. you probably have half of his wardrobe at this point

☆ really values your opinions

☆ he pays attention to your music tastes and listens to whatever songs you like

☆ teases you a lot

☆ buys you so many gifts. he never misses an important date

☆ has great memory, never forgets a thing. both a blessing and a curse for you…

☆ walks/drives you home, even if it’s super out of the way. never lets you go alone, especially if it’s nighttime

☆ doesn’t even look at anyone else, you’re the only person who matters to him

☆ i don’t think he gets jealous easily, he fully trusts you

☆ his patience is practically never ending. you’re grateful for it most of the time

☆ compliments you 24/7. there’s never a moment for you to even consider being insecure

☆ he talks about marrying you all the time

☆ he only sees a future with you in it, anything else is unacceptable to him

☆ talks about you to literally everyone. no one is safe

☆ never makes you doubt if he loves you, it’s so sickeningly obvious <3

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barleyo · 1 year ago

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Love Machine.

Android! Leon Kennedy X Fem! Reader (smut)

A/N: I got this idea while listening to a song with the same title. This was my first time writing for Leon, I hope it isn't too clunky or too short! I am slowly coming out of my hiatus, so my writing skills are a bit rusty, I need you all to give me a little grace for the next few posts in case they aren't great LOL. Love you all so much, thanks for your support!

Part Two: Here

Wordcount: 2.4K

Tags: sex doll/living sex robot (?), sex toys, oral (fem receiving), reader is called things like "pretty girl", p in v, creampie (but not really because he's a sex doll??), unprotected sex, fingering, nipple play

“Welcome in, can I help you find anything?”

(Y/N) gave the cashier a polite smile and shook her head as she walked past him at the check-out desk, trying to be as non-awkward as possible, especially since she was the only customer in the small store at that time of night. It was an in and out trip, she tried to convince herself of that. She needed something small, just enough to get the job done.

Normally, she would’ve waited until the next day to run an errand like this, but days of stress had left her needy and frustrated, so when her trusty wand finally gave out on her mid-fun, she grabbed her car keys and headed out into the night.

Her eyes scanned the wall of toys in the back of the store. Pink and purple covered the shelves, vibrating toys and dildos being her main focus.

“Mini-vibe, bullet vibe,” she mumbled, squatting down to read the boxes on the lower shelves. “What’s even the difference–?”

She settled on a purple rabbit vibrator. Its packaging was the least indicative of its contents, and it was on the smaller side. Easy to hide.

“Will that be all?” the cashier asked, looking over the box.

“Yeah, that should be it.”

“You know,” he said, giving her a wide grin, “I can’t say I can suggest this one.” He held the box back out to her, waiting for her to take it. “We’ve gotten a lot of refunded purchases due to it.”

“Oh, shit, really?” (Y/N) took the box back, tucking it under her arm. “Okay, uh, I guess I should ask what the best option would be, then?”

The cashier gave a nod and waved her over, lifting the divider between behind the counter and the rest of the store. “Come with me to the back, we’ve got all the good stuff tucked away back there.”

She chewed the inside of her cheek, thinking about whether or not to follow him. She didn’t immediately catch any red flags in his behavior: he was polite enough, no major creep-vibes. (Y/N) finally walked past the open divider and followed him into the stock room.

“So, over here,” he said, waving his hand over a heavily stocked shelf, “is all the high-powered stuff. These over here have a high-customization level, lingerie over here, and over here ....”

The man continued to go over the ‘hidden’ options in the store, but (Y/N)’s eyes traveled over to a large, sheet-covered box.

“Hey, what’s that over there?” she asked, pointing at the box.

“Oh, that? That’s new, uhm, probably a little out of your comfort zone, though, he’s a little advanced.”

“He?”

The cashier sighed and stepped up to the box, gripping the corner of the sheet. “It’s—it’s a long story, but, here, have a look.”

He pulled the sheet down, dropping it to the cement floors of the room.

“What the fuck is that?!”

A blond man stood in the plain box, the only adornment on the cardboard being his name in bolded letters: Leon. His eyes were closed, his hands sat idly beside his sides, and his body stood bare before them both.

“His name is Leon, he’s a prototype for a new line of responsive sex dolls. I mean, most of the bugs are out of the system, he’s not faulty or anything.”

(Y/N) walked up to the box and scratched the cellophane covering, trying to get his attention. “Is he awake? Or on, I guess?”

“Nah, he has to be set up, there’s a manual in the box, I think,” the man replied, bending down to pick the sheet back up to throw over Leon’s box. Just as he began to shake the sheet off, clearing the residual dirt off of it, (Y/N) spoke again.

“How much for him?”

She mentally smacked herself for asking. There was no doubt he was expensive, hell, he probably wasn’t even up for sale.

“You want him?” He raised his eyebrow, looking the girl up and down, confusion painting his features.

“I– I don’t know, can I have him? How much?”

He crossed his arms for a moment, thinking. “He’s not for sale, per se, but– so, listen, okay?”

“Yeah?”

“You can have him for free, okay? But if you aren’t satisfied with him, you can’t bring him back here, you’re stuck with ‘em.” He held his hand out expectantly. “Deal?”

“Deal,” she said, taking his hand quickly, giving it a few affirming shakes.

The boxcutter in her hand worked quickly, slicing open the cellophane. (Y/N) bunched up the plastic and threw it to a random corner in her bedroom, turning back to face Leon. She gave him a testing poke, and when he didn’t respond she turned that poke into a gentle tapping on the side of his face.

“Leon?” The name felt like acid on her tongue, guilt already creeping through her. “Wake up.”

She dropped her hand from his face and guided it further down his chest. The synthetic skin felt real, almost in an uncanny way. He was warm to the touch, not plastic-y and cold like how she assumed other sex dolls felt.

“Come on, big boy.” she muttered, pulling Leon’s large, heavy body out of the box and placing him on his feet near her bed. “Where’s your–? Oh, got it.” (Y/N) snatched the instruction manual from the box. The print was foggy, and some words were horribly misspelled, but she flipped through the pages and located the directions page. She read the page to herself quietly. “I am Leon, your AI-powered male sex doll. The setup process of a Leon doll is extremely easy. To turn me on, just set my dial. After that, just sit back and let me love you for a little while!”

(Y/N) walked a small circle around him in search of his ‘on-switch.’ She found it right on the back of his neck, almost hidden by his swoop of blond hair. On the silver dial sat three options: Off, gentle, and rough. A hand rose and ticked the dial to gentle. She stepped away from him quickly after hitting the switch, nervous to see what would happen.

His eyes opened slowly, and a weak blue light beamed from them, scanning outwards before shutting off completely. A grin slowly spread across Leon’s all-too-real features as he powered on.

“Hey there, pretty girl,” he said, standing still in her room, only moving his head to face her. “Looks like you could use some company.”

“Uh, hello.” Her mouth was dry as she spoke, feeling like she made a bad decision the second he had snapped to life.

“Hm, why don’t you come closer to me? I don’t bite,” Leon paused before cheekily adding “unless you want me to.” He took her in his arms and let his eyes drift down her body. He eased her shirt over her head and tried to undo the clasps of her bra.

“What are you doing?” She tried to pull away but he held her in place.

“You have all your clothes, but I’m exposed over here. That’s not so fair, is it?” He looked down at his hardened length, ushering her to look down with him.

Her eyes widened a bit. “When did you even get hard–?”

“I’m always hard around pretty girls like you.” He slipped off her bra and groped her breasts with his large, somewhat calloused hands. “Look at these, baby. You have pretty tits, and a pretty face, huh?”

A hum left her throat as she felt his head dip down and take one of her swollen nipples into his mouth. He swirled his tongue over the bud, latching on to properly suck it after a few teasing moments. She ran her hands through his hair and gripped onto it tightly, whining at the feeling of his mouth popping off of her tit.

“Bet you’re getting wet from this, aren’t you?” His voice was airy and muffled while he spoke. He left open mouthed licks over her pebbled nipples, grazing over them with his tongue’s warmth.

She gave a weak nod in return.

“Mm, maybe I should take care of that,” he chuckled lightly and lowered himself to his knees. “Gonna let me take these off you?” He tugged at the waistband of her shorts.

“G’head,” (Y/N) said, feeling her thighs rub against each other impatiently.

He pulled them down to her ankles and she stepped out of them, leaving her in just her panties. She shuddered at the feeling of his tongue darting across the cotton covering her wet center. Again, Leon laughed a bit at her reaction and licked a heavier stripe against the fabric. When he was rewarded with a gasp from her open mouth, he pulled the panties to the side and pressed his tongue at her slit.

“F–Fuck, that feels good,” she whined, hand still messily buried in his hair.

Leon kept his eyes on her the whole time, not letting a moment pass where his blue irises weren’t piercing hers.

His tongue dipped out of her entrance and moved up to her clit. He fidgeted with it, trying to see which motion worked best on her, and settled on a circular movement. The longer he sat slotted between her thighs, her knees thrown over his shoulders, the more frequently he felt her cunt jump from pleasure. He placed his tongue hard on her clit, giving it rough, pressured licks.

“Almost there, I’m close,” (Y/N) said, feeling a coil form in her stomach. She had felt this with other toys, but by far, Leon was the best at the job. “Don’t stop,” she hummed, voice catching in her throat while he moved his head side to side, dragging his mouth sloppily over her cunt.

A string of profanities escaped her mouth when she felt her orgasm hit. A sputtering wave of warmth flushed through her body, her pussy clenching around nothing.

“That’s it, good job,” Leon cooed. He held his hand up to her face expectantly. “Spit.”

Her mind already felt melted, like it could’ve oozed out of her brain at any minute. She mindlessly complied with him, spitting onto his lengthy fingers.

“Ah–! S’too much, Leon.”

“No, no, you can take it. I’ll be gentle, I know you want another one,” he said with a slightly mocking tone. “Greedy girl needs something to fill her up.” Plunging his fingers into her pussy, he groaned at the feeling of her slick walls still fluttering. “Y’haven’t even recovered from the first one, but I’m gonna give you another one,” he said, curling his fingers, “gonna be twice as strong.”

“Fuck, it’s too much,” (Y/N) knew her sobs of pleasure were pathetic sounding, but she couldn’t muster anything else up as she tried to push his wrist down and away, not being able to stand the feeling of his two fingers prodding at her most sensitive spot.

“Don’t fight it,” he warned, “not when you’re so close. Yeah, I feel you getting all tight on me. Mm, you’re gonna love how it feels, it only gets better from here, pretty girl.”

Leon became more aggressive with his movement, moving his whole arm as his fingers jammed in and out of her. (Y/N) was lost in her ecstasy. Her hands shook and flew aimlessly before taking purchase of Leon’s shoulders and holding onto them, nails digging into the skin.

Her second release, as promised, was much stronger. Her legs clamped around him, her moans came out in long, shaky intervals, and her brain was mush. She couldn’t force herself to focus on anything but the cum dripping out of her cunt and down Leon’s fingers and forearm. She screwed her eyes shut, feeling even the dim light of her bedroom to be too much for her now fucked-out, slutty head to handle.

She hardly noticed when he had placed on her back in the bed with her legs spread. Not until he guided his cock across her folds, tapping the head of it against her swollen, abused clit.

“More?” she asked, voice breaking and weak. “Can’t take it ‘nymore.”

“C’mon, sweet thing, you can give me one more, can’t you? Just one more?” He whispered into her ear, slowly pushing into her, holding himself back.

“Jus’ one? No more after that?”

“Mhm, just one.” Leon bottomed out and stretched her walls with his girth. The tip of his cock gave sweet, shallow kisses to her cervix’s tip, gently pressing into it with each thrust. His hips rocked into her, but he felt his dick being forced out of her walls, pushed out of her heat. “Even after all that, still tight f’me.” He slid back in, rougher this time, trying to keep himself inside. “Need somethin’ to stretch you out, baby. Good thing y’got me now.”

His hands were placed under her knees, scooping and holding them apart while he fucked her. He slowly transitioned from fucking and burrying his cock into her, to bringing her body forward, bouncing her on his cock.

“Leon—”

“Hush, now, you’re okay. Mm,” he wiped the drool from the corner of her mouth, “look at how you take it. It’s like you were made to be used like this, sweet girl. Maybe you’d be better off as a toy.”

She moaned at this, feeling her cunt twitch at his words.

“Yeah? You like that?” Leon’s eyebrow raised at her a bit, teeth barring in smirk. “You like being a little toy. Being– oh, fuck, you’re enjoying this so much. Your pretty little face...”

(Y/N) threw her arms over his neck, pulling him closer to her body. Their chests pressed together, her sweat slick between them both. “God, Leon, please!”

Leon pressed his mouth on her to quiet her down, swallowing her moans as their tongues and teeth gnashed against each other. He winced as (Y/N) bit down on his lip, choking back her sobs when she clamped down on his cock. Taking this as a sign, Leon emptied his thick, synthetic cum into her.

Once he pulled out, a mixture of both of their cum pumped out, gushing and wetting in between her thighs.

“Good job, baby,” he said, stroking her face, grinning at the warmth of her cheek. “You did so well, getting all cockdrunk for me. To think I was being gentle. Wanna try my rough mode out for size?” He joked, letting his hand grip her hip.

“Goodnight, Leon,” she responded, unimpressed at his teasing and tired from what he had done to her. She brought her hand to the back of his neck and turned his dial to ‘off.'

#barleyxnighteye #fanfiction #smutfic #smut #leon kennedy #resident evil #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #fanfic #leon kennedy x y/n #x reader #smut fanfiction #resident evil x reader #leon scott kennedy #alternate universe

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bagelzest · 3 months ago

Text

ok I've been writing down every code I could find and what they do for thisisnotawebsitedotcom in my notes app so here's what I've found so far:

• tjeckleburg - NEVER MENTION THAT NAME AGAIN

• bill - eye of providence wiki page, then sesame street jazzy triangle meets a square square (same result with cipher)

• bill cipher - triangle wiki page

• weirdmageddon - gravity falls gossiper newspaper

• soos - letter from soos

• pinata - bill piñata gettin beat

• mabel - stickers on everything till 'LAB NOW FULLY MABELIZED'

• dipper - note from bill telling dipper to stare at the sun for 13 hours, enter multiple times for a retina burning sim

• mason - letter from dipper

• pines - A GOOD FAMILY TREE

• stan + stanley - brass knuckles ebay search, keep entering to get wheel of shame page

• ford + stanford + sixer- ford's polydactyly diagnosis + report

• pacifica - letter from pacifica

• wendy - note from wendy

• waddles - pigplacementnetwork.org

• gideon - sweat resistant bolo ties google search

• fiddleford - cotton eye joe mv

• dippy fresh - burger king kids club r/nostalgia

• axolotl - YOU ASK ALOTL QUESTIONS

• tad strange - bread slicing

• alex hirsch - flannel google search

• blendin - TIME AGENT LOST AND PRESUMED INCOMPETENT

• robbie - text chat between robbie and Thompson, pic of them being taken by bill

• gravity falls - NEVER HEARD OF IT

• mystery shack - confusion hill

• blind eye - eye test, colour code at bottom- euclmjiannrepttgccvisignnsupervisionn I think?? EDIT wtf was I on that is obviously not what it says

• reality - IS AN ILLUSION

• the universe - HOLLOGRAM

• deer teeth - FOR YOU, KID!

• fuck - I get told to wash my mouth out with soap :(((

• book of bill - HIDE IT UNDER SHIRT DURING PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE

• giffany - enter multiple times, computer tries to block, SOOS, I STILL LOVE YOU, giffany appears on screen, downloading file IM NEVER LEAVING! file has all her sprites, a doc called ILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU SOOS which is text in the shape of giffany

• euclydia - DIMENSION NOT FOUND

• portal - PORTAL.EXE HAS BEEN DELETED. I BET YOU COULD BUILD ONE

• toby determined - google search restraining order

• journal 1 - THE JOURNAL OF FUN

• journal 2 - THE JOURNAL FOR YOU

• journal 3 - THE JOURNAL FOR ME

• babba + disco girl - recording of dipper singing and listening to babba

• gun - OH YES OH YES OH YES THEY BOTH

• abuelita - best vacuum for walls and ceilings yt vid

• weird - weird al trapped in the computer

• xyler + craz - jem and the holograms theme song yt vid

• triangle - TRI HARDER

• theraprism - blue sign - IN CASE OF [the old one] DO NOT USE ELEVATORS

• yes - WHAT'S MCGUCKETS FAVOURITE SODA? (I tried putting in pitt cola and variations and nothing worked)

• no - YOUR LOSS...

• vallis cineris - creepy vid of baby bill held by static parents with voice saying why did you do it

• disney - RAT.GIF CENSORED FOR YOUR PROTECTION

• love + marry me (don't worry about how I discovered that) - pic of the love triangle book, click it and it plays an audio audiobook of it

• death - LIFE'S GOTH COUSIN

• life - LIFE: 72% COMPLETE. NOW LOADING: DEATH

• blanchin - how to blanch vegetables yt vid

• divorce - o' sadleys logo (aka the bar bill was at after "losing sixer" oh my GODDD)

• season 1 - SEASON -1: ANTIGRAVITY FALLS

• season 2 - SEASON 1

• season 3 - SEASON 2

• help me + save me + god - vid of axolotl swimming infront of a little bill statue

• ad astra per aspera - 2 journal pages starring ford and mabel, pls read them it's so good

• trigonometry - bill's attempt to have plato build the portal

• cray cray - mental health wiki page

• who are you - I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION

• lies - bill talking about lying and nerds

• morality - fun game!

• R34LITY - henchmaniacs polaroids

• ducktective - DUCKTECTIVE STARS IN "LOVE, QUACKTUALLY" COMING TO: "OI, ITS THE COCKNEY CHANNEL INNIT?" THIS FALL

• question - ANSWER

• answer - QUESTION

I'm editing this post when I find new ones, feel free to add any you find!! please look at the replies to this post because people have found more codes!!

EDIT I'm probably done with updating this list, these are just the ones I found after goofing around on the website for 4 hours. other people have definitely made lists of all the codes found so far so make sure to check them out !!

#gravity falls #thisisnotawebsitedotcom #book of bill #the book of bill #gravity falls codes #bill cipher #me yapping

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ataraxiaspainting · 10 months ago

Text

Icarus.

Yan (Emperor) Zhongli x F Reader.

Synopsis: You were taught ever since you opened your eyes to never go against your god. So why do you wish now that you have never opened them at all?

Warnings: Yandere themes, major power imbalances, manipulation, future forced marriage, some violence/gore, and unhealthy relationships.

Word Count: 3k.

Ten Songs Like This Piece:

Little Dark Age by MGMT

As the World Caves In by Matt Maltese

The Other Side Of Paradise by Glass Animals

All Eyes On Me by Bo Burnham

Space Song by Beach House

Murders by Miracle Musical

Tongues & Teeth by The Crane Wives

Teacher’s Pet by Melanie Martinez

A Pearl by Mitski

Isabella’s Lullaby by Takahiro Obata

*~*~*~*

“‘You know that I love you.’ And despite herself, Coraline nodded. It was true. The other mother loved her. But she loved Coraline as a miser loves money, or a dragon loves its gold. In the other mother's button eyes, Coraline knew that the other mother loved her as a possession, nothing more, a tolerated pet whose behavior was no longer amusing.” – Neil Gaiman, Coraline

*~*~*~*

There is no sin greater than to be a bird.

To be a bird is to be devoid of all burdens, soaring above all who are shackled by them, like a warden overseeing prisoners, or the sweetest and ripest peaches up on the highest of branches so no one can reach it. They can go anywhere, birds, with the winds at their call, the very embodiment of freedom itself, something your god has taught all his people to be wary of. Freedom can be a blessing, he told one of his counselors once, but it can also cause humans to be too conceited. There is no sin greater than to be a bird because all others will be envious. Envy is also a sin, one so common that even Archons are said to possess it. Sin gives birth to more sin, more suffering, and thus only the original that birthed it all shall be punished by Celestia’s fury.

There is no greater sin than to be a bird, so the gods put in place cages, made to make those trapped by gold and chains and other things entirely. Birds who are not lured into such traps are dealt with by lightning, making them fall back down to the ground below, the last thing they see is the very sky that punished them. The sky, the stars, the moon, the sun… the entire world will be against you when you are a bird.

It will be that way until you die. The world hates birds and the way they fly and soar. Birds are meant for cages, or to be struck down with their corpses made into trophies.

There is no title greater than to be a hunter.

The sin; to be a bird, freedom… the title; to be a hunter, despotism.

To shoot, to stab, to twist until the prey bursts, is the way of someone whose greatest sin is doing good for this world.

To bleed, to be trapped, to be killed and put on display for all to see, that is what a bird’s purpose truly is, in the eyes of the divine.

They are different, quite so, like different ripples in lakes of mixed blood and water.

You can almost hear them, can’t you?

Celestia favors the strong. Celestia despises the weak. It makes sense to most people, those who were born into power be it money made from blood or strength made from blood. They don’t see the way the world works. The way flies feast upon rotting meat and are soon to be eaten by something bigger. It makes sense for most people, but not for you. Despite everything you have ever been taught from word of mouth, life on the streets teaches you otherwise. For everything you have endured, you have learned that you are not weak. In any case, quite the opposite.

You don’t pray anymore with everyone else, as they keep reciting such things over and over again at the states positioned throughout Liyue as if the emperor would listen to them.

“O Almighty Geo Archon, give us your blessings for the many moons ahead of us all!” They would hold hands with their bodies being placed in circles around the sculptures. They close their eyes altogether, to not see the sacrifices trapped between them at the monuments, the last thing they see is the Lord of Geo’s face, looking down at them with a stone-cold glare laced with eerie delight. “O Almighty Geo Archon, give us your blessings for the many moons ahead of us all! O Almighty Geo Archon, give us your blessings for the many moons ahead of us all!”

To be praying and to be preying are two quite different things, but to the people of Liyue, there is no difference. Blood seeps into the earth all the same, regardless of who sheds it. So, as evidence that the people of Liyue do indeed bow down to Celestia’s every whim, they bring birds of all kinds and steal them of all they have. Their feathers make for excellent clothing, their bones make for stellar weaponry, and their feet make for charms of good luck. Celestia only smiles down upon the strong, after all. Celestia despises freedom because, without the divine, humans would have nothing to leash them onto rationality and laws. Perhaps that is why Mondstadt is very much in chaos now. Their god was said to have betrayed Celestia by giving his people forbidden knowledge of how nature originally ran its course, causing an uproar among the citizens.

No one knows what happened to the god of Mondstadt after that.

Was he smitten down? Did his people turn on him? No one in Liyue knows for certain, as people of Mondstadt are forbidden from entering the land said to be made up of the purest of gold.

“O Almighty Geo Archon, give us your blessings for the many moons ahead of us all!”

That is the first thing you hear when you wake up, huddled in a corner to prevent yourself from getting even more wet from the rain. You assume that maybe it will be the last thing you hear when you close your eyes for good.

*~*~*~*

You grew up in Qiaoying Village and, once you grew up, got exiled from Qiaoying Village. You stood out, which no one saw in a good light. You were a mischievous, rule-breaking child, always stealing Jadevein Tea Eggs and both tea and tea sets made of fine porcelain. Your older brother taught you lessons far too valuable and unique for the traditionalist settings of Qiaoying Village, lessons like how to pick the elderly’s door’s locks, how to properly identify which pockets had the most Mora, and how to make alleyways a labyrinth for those who chase you.

Your older brother, though, did not partake in thievery himself. You suppose that might have been the first warning sign of many more to come. He made you, a child about half his age, do his dirty work for him. He always hoarded the rewards afterward, and if you got caught or he got caught with whatever treasure you had given him, he would pretend to scold you for going against the way of the Qiaoying. He said it was just pretend, but that look in his eyes still haunts you to this very day. As you got older, though, you got dumber. You crossed a line with everyone. You decided to steal from a Fontainian duke.

It was a foolish decision. Fontainians are known for their high sense of justice, and their tunnel vision when it comes to crimes and punishments. But you were just a child, were you not?

You couldn’t help it. You were just a child. That is what you told yourself then, and it is what you tell yourself now.

No one helped you then, and no one helps you now. Hell, it would be a miracle, a blessing from Celestia, if your older brother came to Liyue Harbor to visit you. But he never loved you, did he? He never loved you, and you never hated him until you saw him for what he truly is. A petty servant of Madam Mei with a spine thinner than that of a twig. He was a coward then, and likely still a coward now. Perhaps it would have been noble of him, while you were still an infant, to use that pocket knife he always carried around. It would have been better for you, for you to not know anything you know about him now.

But he was a coward, your older brother. The person who taught you everything about thievery is also now the person who taught you how important it is to keep your cards close. Life on the streets calls for both, you suppose. Liyue Harbor may not be the friendliest for the homeless, but at the very least it had pockets to swipe into when no one was looking. Old habits die hard. You ended up relying on every memory of the past, no matter how bitter or how deceivingly sweet they were. You bore it. You bore it all. Every memory, every fragment of a lie, and every fragment of a half-truth. Life is never so simple after all, is it?

Your life was never perfect, and therefore still is not now. But you know deep in your heart that you would prefer this life over seeing your older brother’s face ever again.

But now, with eyes brighter than amber staring above you as you lay, your arm broken, you wish that your brother had taught you some fighting skills instead of everything else he taught you.

But he was a coward, and so are you.

To be fair, though, he never met the emperor and never thought that he would. So did you. No one in Qiaoying Village did, most likely. It was so far from the proclaimed harbor made of gold and trader’s blood and prayers. This was where the emperor lived, in his castle in the mountains surrounding Lingju Pass and Mount Tianheng. It was made up of the finest gold and wood and jewels. Only the best for the emperor, while people like you get mere pebbles. That is why, when you saw yet another stranger in a white cloak roaming around the alleyways, you attempted to strike. Your mistake.

Your mistake.

You were on the ground in an instant, your arm breaking so loudly an elderly man on his deathbed could hear it.

The stranger’s eyes glittered like gold.

Frozen gold, perhaps, with how he was staring down at you with such disappointment.

So, he stared down at you.

You stared down at your arm.

You should have known better. But you are just someone trying to live, are you not? It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. But that white cloak the man is wearing with the sigil of geo on the back, one of the few symbols of the emperor himself, should have made you not attempt to pickpocket him. You should have known better. You really should have known better. Should you apologize? You are already as good as dead though, aren’t you?

Does a death sentence await you?

Life? Death? Prison? Life. Death. Prison.

Escape.

You have to escape.

But the emperor seems to know what you are doing, what you are planning.

So he stops you with a simple hand raised, and pillars of geo appear out of nowhere, trapping you in the corner. Now there is nowhere to run.

He stares down at you.

You stare down at your feet, all mangled up from a life made of thievery and poverty.

He doesn’t speak. Neither do you. You prefer it that way.

You are in a cage. But he is not.

Please.

Please don’t kill me.

Please.

*~*~*~*

Is it a sin to indulge? Perhaps it is, perhaps it is not. Perhaps it depends. Is the indulgence centered in reality or fantasy? This escape attempt, perhaps, is both.

Like the many that came before it, the only sounds you can hear is the rain, the water falling from the glass windows like teardrops, and sometimes you can swear you hear the sound of someone weeping. Despite everything you have gone through though, you do not weep with them, whoever they are. You only keep stepping on ahead for a brighter future, one where you sneak off to Sumeru, a land that prioritizes knowledge over riches. You’d have a better life there than here, you think. Anywhere but here you would run off to actually, even if it was Snezhnaya.

You are treated well, too well.

You still don’t know why instead of throwing you in the dungeons, Morax placed your unconscious body in one of the many, many guest rooms that were spread about in his castle.

You are treated far too well, almost to the point that it is maddening. Everything is so perfect, from the morning birds outside your window that wake you up every morning when it just so happens to be time for breakfast to the hairbrush you use to put your hair up when it is time to sleep, the design intricately laced with jade and topaz. Perfect, perfect, perfect. It’s maddening, sickening, how perfect everything is. You wish he had just put you in a cell because at least then everything would not have been so planned out for you, even the type of flowers you saw in the gardens that week.

“Damn it all…”

In your opinion, the clothes you received today were more intricate than usual. The sleeves are puffed and transition from white to a deep teal color. The dress itself showcases delicate lace patterns of glaze lilies around the waist and wrists, while the skirt is impractically long for any running. Strangely, the inside of the skirt features a constellation pattern, though it seems to be a design meant for your eyes alone. The purpose of this starry sky motif remains unclear. The dress, like everything else, appears flawless and fits you perfectly, almost as if it was tailored specifically for you. Given Morax's wealth, you can't help but entertain the possibility. However, the overwhelming perfection of it all borders on madness. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect, so damn perfect.

Today, you were not given shoes, presumably due to the rain and the consequent cancellation of your garden visit with Morax, where you typically indulge in tea and wine. As you approached the staircase leading to the dining room, however, the guards obstructed your path. Their actions were gentle, but their words were not. They formed a human barricade, preventing your descent. One guard clicked their tongue disapprovingly, while the other remained silent. Perhaps they harbored some disdain towards you. The servants in this establishment either treated you with utmost care or completely disregarded your presence, so it was not entirely surprising that the guards displayed a semblance of dislike.

The real surprise was you not being allowed to go to the dining room to eat.

“The emperor wants you to stay in your room for the time being. He shall see you shortly there.”

So, you went back, albeit muttering curses along the way. Due to your lack of shoes and the guards not even allowing you to go downstairs, this escape attempt is as short-lived as a moth flying much too close to a flame.

As you were told, Morax came in his usual attire, black and brown robes with a geo sigil on the back.

“...”

“I have been told that you have been getting a bit too curious with your wandering.”

Ah, straight to the point, it would seem.

There is no point trying to beat around the bush when it comes to Morax. “It is not like there is anything else to do here.”

He sits beside you on the bed, not too close but not too far either. A perfect balance. “I can give you other activities to do if you would like. I can also answer some questions you have since you’ll be living here from now on.”

“...This isn’t temporary…” You look down at the arm he broke, a time which feels like a millennium ago. “Am I being charged?” Your question is quietly said. “Aren’t thieves simply sent to cells for a few moons?”

His chuckle was unexpected, causing a slight surprise. Morax, who was typically expressionless, wore a smile on his face. Despite the possibly good intentions behind it, the sight and sound were unsettling and made your skin crawl.

“...You don’t tell me anything.” You whisper under your breath. That much is clear. Despite Morax's little attempts to conceal it, his secrecy is unmistakable. You can't help but feel like a naive child stating the obvious.

“You are here for multiple reasons. For instance… you remind me of someone. As such, you must have questions, if you are anything like her.” His eyes glaze over you, from the top of your head where your hair is half put up with a hairpin to the anklet just hovering over your right foot. “All humans are born with an innate sense to pry. I won’t judge, as I am an Archon.” Are his words heartfelt? “Through my veins flow gold, but yours flow with sanguine, life, and desires.”

His hand reaches forward, but he does not touch you. “You must see yourself as better than us because of this. Am I correct?”

“My feelings are not as monochrome as they seem to you. They are complex, quite so. But you are right, in some regard.”

“This is why I cannot stand the so-called divine.”

“Another reason as to why you are here. You are a sleeper of such, and I intend to help you open your eyes to the truth.”

You look at his eyes, seeing all the horrors within their depths.

The emperor known as Morax possesses eyes of pure gold, along with attractive features and pale, rosy lips that curl into a sickly sweet smile. Your body instinctively reacts, urging you to flee before your mind can fully comprehend the situation. However, your brain, awakening and analyzing the situation, is interrupted by the overpowering force of instinct, echoing the same warning as your body: the charming smile is a mere facade, reminiscent of something unsettlingly artificial. It is akin to a sculpture with painted skin and eyes or a doll with exaggerated, intricate features. This man, with his literal golden eyes, his potentially persuasive words, and his captivating yet unnerving countenance, is someone you cannot trust.

Desperate to escape, you attempt to run, only to find that arms and hands, seemingly made of stone, emerge from the walls, gripping and restraining your own. Two of these strong hands ascend, slithering towards the center of your back, forcefully pushing you down into a bow, while you remain compelled to gaze upwards. Your focus remains fixated solely on the emperor's eyes, observing the eloquent patterns of gold within them.

The caress of their touch is tender upon your cheeks, unlike solid ones that demand for you to stay.

“You shall become my consort and see the gates of Celestia for yourself. Humans are made to worship, after all. The divine are made to simply awaken those who have strayed off the path of destiny.”

*~*~*~*

To possess the gift of sight, encompassing all, is the gravest transgression one can commit. Thus, those winged creatures who lack this awareness are banished to the depths of the earth, their vision, their literal eyes stripped away until their cries reverberate to the surface, where the emperor Morax shall pronounce the ultimate verdict.

#yandere #yandere x reader #author aya #yandere genshin impact x reader #yandere genshin #yandere genshin imagines #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere zhongli #yandere zhongli x reader #zhongli x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #morax x reader #yandere morax #yandere morax x reader

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wosoamazing · 8 months ago

Text

Too Late To Be Fair

Warnings: death (caused by drunk driver), mentions of emotional abuse (R as a child), mentions of drinking and drunks, implications of self doubt and associated things, wishing someone would die. Please let me know if anything else.

Note: Grace is a fake player, due to previous ideas and maybe future ideas I had to make a player up... she does some things none of the girls would ever do....

A/N: Story inspired by Pray (Jessie Murph) & Mansion (NF) - and other things but I listened to these songs and I was like ooo good story idea. There probs will be a part 2. I hope you like it - also I know I said one of the McFoord fics would be out next but um yeah...

“Y/N We’re sorry to inform you but your Dad was in a car accident he was hit by a drunk driver” you couldn’t help but laugh at the irony, you dad the drunk being hit by a drunk driver. Everyone looked at you in disbelief.

“Y/N that’s not very appropriate,” Grace said, before others death stared her, clearly not knowing your situation, of course you were going to blow, especially at her, the thing you had wished for, for so long, finally happened, yet just after you cut him off, so it didn’t matter, it didn’t mean you could have an easier childhood, it was just another way of the universe punishing you. Waiting until you had moved out, cut your ties and in the spotlight, to finally kill him. Almost exactly a year since you cut him off, won the trial, got the restraining order, the one which he protested, causing the gruelling 3 day trial, to decide whether it was needed or not.

“Oh, sorry we don’t all have perfect little lives with perfect Mummies and Daddies, some of us actually had a shit childhood, faced real world problems, no rich bitch problems, oh Mummy and Daddy told me to pick up some rubbish, oh my life is shit they abuse me” you were dragged out of the locker room and into an empty physio room by Leah, Beth, Katie, Caitlin, and Steph who all sent you a glare when the door had shut, “Oh like she didn’t deserve it,” they all couldn’t but help let out a smile. There was an awkwardness in the room, as the girls all looked between each other not knowing how to approach this.

“You guys can all go, I’ve got this, thank you though,” Leah spoke, breaking the silence, everyone left except Beth, but Leah didn’t mind. You and Beth had a very close relationship, you had been close friends since your grassroots team, Beth helped you through the year of your life you realised you were gay, and then when you crushed on your now girlfriend, your then national Captain. Beth felt bad the year you told her about your Dad, she knew something was off but you never told anyone, barely anyone stills knows the full story, but that day Beth and you promised that you would be there for each other forever, and that was true, she had been there during your trial and so much more, and you were there for her when Dan broke up with her, Beth was really your rock and you were hers. Beth moved to sit in the chair on the opposite side of the room, giving you both space, whilst also being there in case you needed it.

“Are you okay?” Leah couldn't find the right words, but she knew deep down the wrong words were what you needed her to say, you weren’t going to break, and release it all otherwise.

“Of course I’m not fucking okay Leah,” you looked up at her, she hadn’t even flinch at your words, instead she pulled you in for a hug. Which caused hot angry tears to fall from your eyes “Why now, why couldn’t it have been a year ago, 3 years, hell any time after I was 12. It’s unfair, its fucking unfair,” you paused, and Leah slowly slid her back down against the wall, bringing you down with her, your legs either side of hers as you sat in her lap. Your eyes connected with her soft kind caring blue eyes, and you could see how her lips formed a soft kind reassuring smile. You broke, big fat tears streamed down your face, as you sobbed, Leah gently pulled your body forward, so you were no longer sitting up, but leaning on her, she placed your head into the crock of her neck, before moving her arm to wrap around you lower body, her other hand was placed on your back, her thumb moving up and down, as she whispered reassuring words in your ear.

“W-why now, when I’ve already lived the hard life, when I’ve been through all that shit. When I’m already screwed up, when I already have trust issues, when I already doubt myself everyday, so much so that I do it unconsciously” you sobbed into her neck.

“I know baby, it's not fair, and it's not right. But I’m here now, and I’ve got you.”

“I-I I used to wish he would die, I used to imagine cops showing up at the door when it was later than he used to come home, them telling me and me not being upset. I used to hope he just wouldn't come back from work trips. I used to imagine people asking me why I wasn’t upset when he died. I used to think of the fact that he was an alcoholic so he wouldn't get a kidney or liver transplant, unless it was a directed donation. I had to say yes, how could I say no if I was a match, but how could I say yes. You know how fucked up you feel when you think that stuff, you know how messed up I thought I was, but that was all his doing. It's just unfair.”

___

You had calmed back down and decided to go see all the girls again, the only problem was that no one had realised what song was playing in the locker room, too deep in conversation to be aware of it.

Waking up but wishing that you don’t. It’s something that I pray you’ll never know.

A song that connected with you so deeply sent you back over the edge, and you quickly spun on your feet and speed walked away, Beth followed behind you.

“What the actual fuck were you thinking McCabe” you girlfriend yelled.

“Wha?” the room had gone quiet and attention was drawn to the music, “Oh fuck, shit, sorry, we werent listening to it, its just automatically come on. I promise, I wasn't trying to be funny, I wouldn't do anything like that to Y/N”

Leah just turned around packing your bag and hers, “Tell Jonas we’re going home.”

“Sorry” Katie yelled as Leah went down the hall.

Leah found you sitting in the middle of one of the side hallways. Beth’s arms were wrapped around you and your body was shaking.

“Come on baby, let's go home.” She said as she placed a hand on your back, Beth slowly released her arms around you, which Leah quickly replaced with hers.

_____

“What’s on your mind? I know it's something more than your Dad” your girlfriend said as she sat down on the bed next to you, legs crossed and leaning back against the headboard. You had just arrived home.

“It's stupid.” you sighed, looking away from her eyes.

“I promise you, it's not stupid, it's your feelings, and your feelings are valid” she said, voice unwavering before pulling you into her lap.

“I don't know, I just feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.” “What do you mean baby?” “I don't know, I just feel like something is going to happen, like something is going to happen and you’re going to realise that this was all a mistake and leave. You’re going to get sick of constantly being second guessed for no reason just because I’m messed up, because I don’t believe someone could actually love me this much. You’re going to get sick of me, and all my insecurities, ” she pulled your body into hers, your head finding a place in the crock of her neck, tears started to fall from your eyes, causing her neck to become wet.

“Y/N, baby, I love you so much, and I promise, there is not another shoe that will drop, we have been through so much together, we got through those 9 months together, we got through the trial together, and I promise we will get through whatever life throws at us together, forever, we will go through the highs and lows together. I love you so much, and I wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone else. I will never hurt you, I promise.”

#woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine #arsenal wfc #awfc x reader #awfc #leah williamson x reader

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yerimacoustic · 3 months ago

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𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙪𝙨 ♡ joshua x reader

↳ ❝ 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚, 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙫𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 ❞ 🧺🦢☁️

summary: your parents have been in a very public rivalry with joshua’s since before you were born, yet the two of you can’t seem to stay away from each other. secret relationship au, actor!josha and model!reader, joshua hong x afab reader. also featuring vernon and mingyu. 8.4k wc.

content warnings: fluff (joshua is literally just a sweetheart), a little bit of angst, overbearing/controlling parents, strong language, brief suggestive content (make out sesh in the coat closet), champagne drinking, it’s probably not very good since i’m just getting back into writing </3 18+ mdni!

soundtrack: secret love song by little mix, they don’t know about us by one direction, see you again by tyler the creator and kali uchis, telepatía by kali uchis, sober by childish gambino, slut! by taylor swift, and ofc darling by seventeen

for anyone else, going to a movie premiere in the spur of the moment wasn’t much of a risk at all. any of joshua’s other fans could watch his new movie in public without experiencing any scrutiny. with all of that being said, there was no reason you should have been waiting near the staff entrance with a baseball cap and sunglasses. and yet, you were peering around corners and checking your watch every two seconds.

he was only two minutes late. it’s no big deal. maybe he was just preparing one of his speeches or getting his makeup touched up.

or.. he could have finally chosen to listen to his parents and stop seeing you. he could have realized that your relationship put both of your careers and reputation in jeopardy. he could have been rehearsing his breakup speech with you.

before you could prepare yourself for a theoretical rebuttal, the door swung open. and you were graced with quite possibly the most beautiful sight to behold- joshua, himself. he wore a navy blue suit, suede. he had bleached his hair recently; it was still taking some getting used to, but it was a lovely color on him. it was snow white, minus a few streaks of yellow along the ends. all in all, he looked like an angel.

neither of you wasted a second, throwing your arms around each other as he pulled you in for a deep, slow kiss. your hands rested on your shoulders, leaving prints of your palms on the fuzzy, napped fabric. you smiled into the kiss, relieved that your doubts proved to be fruitless, and he quickly reciprocated.

“thanks for coming,” he whispered to you. “i know you’ve been really busy.”

you shrugged, “its nothing i’m not used to. besides.. i had to see you. it’s been too long.”

joshua pulled away just enough to look in your eyes, adoration filling his own. with a quiet chuckle, he slowly removed the sunglasses from your face and folded them over his dress shirt. just as you moved your hands up in protest, he grabbed them both and laced his fingers with yours. “you have no idea how good it is to hear your voice. can we go somewhere tonight? anywhere.”

“I-” you stopped, drawing in a shaky breath. your breathing came to a complete stop, as if you were waiting for someone to burst through the door at any moment. “i don’t know. where would we go? i bet everyone in the city knows which hotel you’re staying at.”

he snickered, “good point. but they probably don’t know which one you’re staying at.”

you furrowed your eyebrows in mock offense, “and what exactly are you implying?”

“that your fans have a little more common sense and decency than mine,” joshua sighed, though there was no sign of self-pity in his voice. he moved a hand away from yours to brush through your hair, detangling a few tiny strands.

“if only that were the case,” you chuckled gloomily. “let’s go to the restaurant by my hotel. there’s a rooftop terrace, i could buy it out for the two of us.”

“someone likes their privacy,” joshua teased. “i’ll be there. gimme a few hours after the movie ends and i’ll run to you.”

“it’s a date.” you smiled giddily and cupped his chin with your thumb and index finger, pressing your lips against his once more. and once again, the two of you smiled once graced with the pressure of a light, chaste kiss. “now, i’ve gotta get going. i’ve got a movie to watch.”

joshua’s eyes went wide; when the two of you made arrangements to sneak around that day, he wasn’t expecting you to purchase a ticket to his premiere. he expected a quick little meeting, a few kisses, words of affirmation.. he knew that the two of you were already taking great risks as it was, he didn’t expect you to take another one. “well you’ll have to tell me all about it tonight.”

“looking forward to it.” you stole another kiss from him, trying not to ruin any of his makeup. there would be plenty of time for that later. you also lifted up your sunglasses from the collar of his shirt, sliding them back on with a mischievous smirk before waving goodbye and turning your back on him.

getting into the theater wasn’t much of a problem, oddly enough. it was somewhat alarming, the realization that no one recognized you as you wore one of the most basic disguises of all time. still, you opted to sit in the very back of the theater. not only were you afraid of potentially stealing the spotlight away from joshua , but the mere thought of your parents getting wind of this was terrifying.

both of your parents had had a very public rivalry since before either of you were born. your mothers were both models, and were best friends for a long time. that was.. until your mother stole one of the most important modeling gigs from joshua’s mother. and her manager. and her celebrity crush. they ended up breaking up before she met your dad but still!

then, your mother just had to marry a football player. and joshua’s mother was quick to retaliate, entering into a marriage of convenience with a player on a rival team. needless to say, you and joshua had been forbidden from even speaking to each other, let alone supporting each other’s work. let alone falling in love…

to be fair, neither of you ever saw it coming. until you met at a mutual friend’s birthday party, the two of you had some pretty horrible preconceived notions of each other that were proven false after a private rooftop conversation. after all, they’d been planted in both of your brains since the two of you were children.

it started out as privately messaging on instagram. then when the two of you started traveling more, you moved to whatsapp. then joshua plucked up the courage to ask you for your private number and then you started meeting each other in secret wherever you could. exclusive bars and restaurants, botanical gardens, private hotels and residences… not even your closest friends knew. and it would stay that way for a long, long time.

sometimes it hurt, yes. some days were easier than others.. but it hardly bothered you as you stared up at the silver screen. dark fantasy films were making a comeback, joshua being at the center of the industry’s revolution. you leaned back in your seat, smiling dumbly at the sight of your beloved in one of those fluffy pirate shirts, exploring an unknown, frightening realm while finding love along the way…

—------------------------------------

it was cold that night. wind brushed through your hair while you kept your arms folded across the balcony, nipping at your nose and fingertips. you could see your breath, small clouds forming with each steady breath you took. you looked back towards the door near the center of the rooftop for the twentieth time; he had not stood you up yet, but the fear was always there.

your lockscreen remained empty, the only notifications being messages from your manager, vernon. several reminders about your interviews and photoshoots tomorrow, his ever present dry tone practically audible as you read the notes to yourself. it seemed you couldn’t escape reality for a second, even if you tried.

the slanted rooftop door opened quietly, but it didn’t startle you. you paid the maître d’ not to let anyone except for him upstairs. joshua stood in the doorway for a moment, letting the music from inside the restaurant ring through the air before shutting the door and muffling the smooth jazz. he watched you stare out at the city in quiet contemplation, approaching you timidly.

“the city’s so beautiful this time of night,” you told him quietly without turning to face him. “i wish we could stay here. just a little bit longer.”

he let his hands rest on the railing, one of them brushing against your elbow at the movement. “you’re heading back tomorrow?”

you nodded, “two more interviews, one more photoshoot. then it’s back home for a few weeks.” you looked back towards him. “you too?”

he shook his head, “there’s another showing in paris this weekend. and then in milan, then L.A….”

you tried to hide your disappointment, standing up a little bit taller. “well..i’m free for the next few weeks, so we’ll just.. work something out.”

joshua smiled, a pang of pain nearly visible within the movement. the flash of emotion was gone as quickly as it had first appeared, his beautiful, familiar smile quick to replace the pitiful look in his eyes. “perfect” was all he could say in the moment. “well..let’s make the most of the time we have together, then.”

“i couldn’t agree more.” with a chuckle, you led him towards a table near the center of the rooftop. It was the only one covered in a tablecloth and lit candle, where a bottle of chilled champagne and glasses awaited the two of you. you were the one to take the initiative, pouring a respectable amount of the cristal champagne in both glasses. you looked up to him as you rose yours, and he was quick to mirror your actions. “i loved your movie, by the way.”

he snickered with a bashful nod of his head, “i thought you might. you always had a dark sense of humor.”

“and a love for fantasy and romance,” you countered, taking a meager sip from your glass. “it was nice to escape reality with you, joshua. even just for a little while.”

he smiled dumbly, as if the endless amounts of compliments from critics meant nothing to him compared to what you had to say about his work. “i’m glad my performance was convincing to you,” he mused, an awfully sappy look in his eyes as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “but this-” he gestured to the empty space surrounding the two of you, “it’s really nice. thank you.”

you shook your head dismissively, “it was nothing.”

“no, i’m serious,” he told you, setting down his glass in favor of taking your free hand in his. “i haven’t had more than five minutes to myself in almost two months. i’m grateful that you would do something like this for me.”

once his warm hand was wrapped around yours, you felt prompted to look up in his eyes. his beautiful dark brown eyes.. “this wasn’t just for you, you know,” you teased him helplessly. “i’ve been needing some time to myself. you have no idea how insufferable vernon actually is.”

joshua laughed out loud, “i would have expected nothing less. someone has to keep you in line.” his hand briefly swatted at your elbow for effect.

“he’s not doing a very good job, is he?” this time, you were the one to gesture towards the space of the empty rooftop around you before facing him fully. comfortable silence passed between the two of you, warmth flooding your chest the second you got a better look at his eyes. then you whispered, “dance with me.”

joshua knew he would have been a fool to decline such a request. sorry, such a command. he was quick to set down his glass, which was half full by now. after settling on the best playlist of classy tunes he could find on spotify, he stepped towards you with a mischievous grin. once your arms were linked around his neck, his were curled around your waist in an effort to bring you closer to the warmth of his chest.

the two of you swayed in perfect time with the symphonies of strings that rang through the tiny speaker of his phone. your chin came to relax on his shoulder while his face was nestled comfortably into your hair. neither of you spoke for a moment, soaking in each other’s warmth. enjoying each other’s presence, uninterrupted, while you still could guarantee that no one unwanted would barge in on you. even your heartbeats were in perfect synch as you swayed in circles amongst the candlelight.

joshua’s touch was feather-light, but firm at the same time. there was confidence in the way he held onto your hips, fingers delicately tracing patterns in the fabric- but it wasn’t the boldest movement. he wasn’t making any efforts to insinuate that he wanted something else from you- no. it was more like he was trying to set your weary mind at ease. he knew that these less than ideal circumstances weighed on you, just like they weighed on him.

he’d washed the gel from earlier out of his hair, that much was clear once you ran your fingertips through the snow white strands. weaving the locks through your hands in gentle motions, you allowed yourself to take another step closer towards him. there was no room for either of you to even breathe without feeling the impact of the other’s chest rising and falling. you took a deep breath, getting a faint whiff of his cologne- a familiar scent of pine that you associated with him and him only.

neither of you said another word as you lifted your head up from his shoulder without breaking away from him. his lips were mere inches away from yours as the two of you stopped swaying just to get a better look at each other. the music swelled as the climax of the latest song rang through the air, painting a picture perfect moment for the two of you. you and joshua both studied each other, as if you were taking a mental note to memorize the godlike features in front of you.

After a moment, you couldn’t wait much longer. you pressed your lips against his, hoping to communicate more to him than words could in that moment. actions always spoke much louder, anyways. he seemed to agree; for her returned your kiss with fervor, cupping your cheek while his other hand kept his grip on your waist. your hands stayed in his hair even when you broke the kiss to press your forehead against his.

“let’s just stay up here for a little bit longer.”

—--------------------------------------------------------------

your eyes were glued to the tiny screen in front of you once your makeup was finished. now that you had some time to yourself, you could fixate on the most recent message you had sent to joshua: ‘i’m leaving again on the fourteenth, ik that’s your first day back in town. come over to my place.’

‘my place.’ you two had never been brave enough to meet at each others’ private residences. you knew the risks that came with it; the fear that nosy reporters or stalkers could follow you home, that either one of your friends or family members could burst in through the door.. if only there was a channel of tunnels underground designed especially for you two.

anyways, you chose to forgo sounding like a broken record and voicing your familiar concerns towards him. the three bubbles appeared on screen, blinking in the rhythmic pattern. they stayed there for a moment; he was obviously thinking really hard about what to say next. your heart nearly stopped beating completely, your breath catching in your throat, and then..

“y/n,” a voice from behind you mused.

you hurriedly pushed the power button, letting the phone fall to your lap while looking over your shoulder. vernon stood with his hands in his pockets with a blank expression. somehow you were able to read your deadpan manager like a book by now; right now, he was unhappy with you. “oh good, you’re ready. what’s taking so long?”

you sighed, “sorry. there’s just a lot on my mind.”

“like what?” vernon took a seat next to you, eyebrows furrowed.

“i don’t know how many more times i can talk about who i’m wearing or who did my makeup or what i hope to see make a comeback this fashion season,” you answered truthfully. “i’m really tired.”

vernon tried to offer a reassuring smile, his best effort being a mere tug at the one corner of his lips. “this is your last day, then you get a few weeks off. you’ll have plenty of time to rest, clear your mind.”

your eyes briefly fixated on the ceiling as you tried to figure out what to say next. “i mean in general. don’t you think that i could be doing something a lot more..meaningful?”

“where is all of this coming from?” vernon was puzzled; you were never one to complain about your occupation. you knew that you were blessed, that there were a lot of perks that outweighed the cons most of the time..you’d known that for years now. why were you suddenly having second thoughts?

“i’m.. not sure.” for a brief moment, you contemplated telling vernon about your true feelings for joshua. but you quickly realized that there were two possible directions he could take with the new information: for one, he could tell your parents. he was loyal to them, not just to you. two, he could hear you out. as your manager, he had been there for you on a physical and emotional level.

but.. you weren’t sure if now was a good time to take that risk. you stood up, checking your empty lockscreen under the guise of checking the time. “let’s get this over with,” you told him.

vernon nodded sympathetically before following suit and opening the door for you. “the second they’re done asking questions, you’re on the first plane home. you have my word.

“and listen- we’ll talk more on the way home, okay?”

you flashed him a smile of gratitude before letting out a quiet sigh. to tell the truth, you were more focused on your intense heartbeat than anything else. what did joshua have to say that was so important it took him five whole minutes and counting to type it? however, it was nothing compared to the disappointment you felt after the interview when you came back to another empty notification center.

—----------------------------------

you didn’t stop checking your phone for new messages, even when you got home. every single time you were greeted by the two checkmarks, indicating that joshua had, in fact, read your message. what was taking him so long? had his phone been intercepted somehow? or had he finally realized…

you were ready to call it quits and fling your duffle bag onto the couch on the way to the kitchen, following through with your nightly routine. chamomile tea with a mint face mask, dimmed lighting and forest rain asmr playing on the television. however, your mother, who was sitting on said sofa with her back towards you, had other plans.

the sight of her didn’t scare you; you’d grown accustomed to her barging into your home and waiting for you to get back from work trips. sometimes you seriously wondered if she knew your schedule better than you did. maybe it was a good thing joshua was ghosting you.

“good to see you, mom,” you told her casually while making your way to the kitchen. not even her looming presence could stop you from brewing a much needed cup of tea.

she furrowed her eyebrows, taking offense at how casually you blew her off in favor of going to the stove. “that’s all?”

you flicked the stove on, waiting for the water to boil. with your back towards her you rolled your eyes, “what’s going on with you? how have you been?”

slapping her hands over her knees, she stood up from the couch abruptly. “i have excellent news, young lady. the kims are throwing a birthday party tonight for their oldest son, mingyu. and guess who has been personally invited?”

you pulled out your favorite mug, a light blue one with pale butterflies scattered across the cup. “i don’t know. vernon?”

your mother huffed, “you! mrs. kim told me that mingyu wants to meet you personally. your father and i will accompany you, of course, now let’s-”

“wait a minute, wait a minute, hold on-” you turned to face her, holding your hands up. “i literally just finished a month-long gig and went to five different countries. i don’t feel like going to a birthday party for someone i’ve never even met.”

“oh come on! just take a quick nap, and don’t drink any of this sleepytime tea.” she reached over to turn the stove off and move the kettle out of the way. “i’ll pick out your outfit while you get some rest. i want you looking your best tonight!”

before you could even think about protesting, she was gently pushing you into your bedroom. she made her own way to the closet after making sure you were seated on the edge of your bed, flicking the light on with a hum of satisfaction. she began muttering to herself while you tried to get comfortable among the blankets and pillows you’ve missed so dearly, “oh yes, you’ve got so many good options… oh this color would look marvelous on you… oh mingyu loves the color blue, you’ll-”

“MOM!” you shrieked, covering your ears with the nearest pillow.

—--------------------------

of course, it was no surprise to you that your mother had chosen one of the most uncomfortable dresses in your possession. it was dark blue, short and sequined, completely backless save a series of tiny laces clinging to your lower back. you’d worn several outfits just like it in photoshoots, but you’d never felt more exposed in your life. the cold air crashed upon your bare legs as you stood in the driveway, gazing up at the kims’ mansion in a pained stupor.

this wasn’t how your night was supposed to go.

your parents, with a hand resting on either of your shoulders, led you into their close friends’ house. it was just like any other party they had dragged you along to, several esteemed guests mingling politely with champagne in hand. waiters in white tuxedos carried glasses around, wearing blank expressions that would put robots to shame. a classical string quartet played over the speakers, once that provoked you to reminisce about the special moment you and your beloved shared just a few nights prior…

your mother was quick to pull your tiny coat off of your shoulders, handing it to the nearest waiter to dispose of it properly. the air was much warmer, that much you were grateful for. “let’s go find her,” she spoke of her close friend, your gracious host. “she shouldn’t be too far behind.”

you deadpanned as she kept a firm grip onto your hand, pulling you through the crowd. you spotted a few familiar faces, friends of friends. but no one that you particularly wanted to see. although the music was classical, soothing, you could’ve sworn it was getting louder and louder by the second. you stopped in your tracks to grab a glass of champagne, knowing that it would do little to calm your nerves. but you took a quick sip anyways.

of course, your mother snatched the glass from your hands once the two of you came face to face with a woman dressed to the nines. she wore an elegant dress and pearls, making you second guess your choice of apparel (not for the first time that night), her dark hair in a slick bun. she turned to her friend(?), your mother, giving her a warm smile, “i’m so glad you could make it!”

“thank you for inviting us!” your mother chirped, tugging you closer to her by gripping onto your furthest hip. “this is my lovely daughter, y/n. she just got home, she’s been working nonstop for the past month.”

“hi,” you chimed in awkwardly, grinning.

mrs. kim looked to you, her smiled laced with pride, “i think i recognize you. mingyu and i noticed you in several television ads in one sitting! it’s great to finally meet you in person.” before you could thank her, she turned her back on the two of you in favor of grabbing a young man’s hand and prompt him to join your small circle. “ladies, this is my son, mingyu.”

you could admit that kim mingyu was objectively very attractive. he was tall, with wavy dark hair and a cut jawline of steel. you expected someone with his status (and honestly, his looks) to take one look at you and walk in the other direction with his nose up in the air. but he didn’t. he extended a hand towards you, beaming. “hi.”

“hi, happy birthday,” you whispered, bashfully taking his hand. “i’m-”

“i already know who you are,” he cut you off, not that you were going to complain about it. however, once he realized that he interrupted your train of thought, he smiled bashfully, “sorry. we’ve just.. seen you on the tv for a while now. it’s lovely to meet you.”

“we’ll leave the two of you alone,” your mother giggled, joining hands with mrs. kim and booking it out of the kitchen. much to your utter horror. you didn’t know why you were so surprised; your mother’s penchant for evil was growing stronger and stronger everyday, it seemed.

the two of you stood awkwardly for a moment, mirroring awkward smiles and nervous laughs. luckily, mingyu broke the silence before you could, “do you wanna get out of here?”

you furrowed your eyebrows, momentarily confused. “..huh?”

“i mean- there’s a balcony just outside. i need some fresh air, it’s awfully stuffy in here.” the tall man chuckled, briefly grabbing at the collar of his dress shirt for effect. he had a very nice smile, one that seemed to be especially suited for film and television. there was a kindness in his eyes; he only wanted to make sure you were comfortable.

“oh- oh! yeah, that sounds really nice, actually.” you chuckled. only when you were greeted by the familiar cold air did you remember that you were not well dressed for this particular weather. once mingyu shut the door behind you, your arms were promptly folded over your chest, your palms moving up and down to provide the skin of your upper arms any sense of warmth. needless to say, it was not very effective.

“shit-” mingyu caught on quickly, throwing his blazer off his shoulders and draping it along your much smaller frame. you were soon drowned in the fabric, chuckling at how it could wrap around your entire body and then some. “sorry. i didn’t-”

“no, no it’s okay!” you laughed. “i- forgot what i was wearing for a second. my mom picked this dress out for me. she doesn’t usually do that, i swear.” inwardly, you were kicking yourself for your word choice- why did you feel the need to tell him that?

mingyu snickered, “don’t worry, i know all about that. my mom had this tailored specifically for tonight. we take birthdays pretty seriously around here.”

you nodded, unsure of what else to say in the moment. the two of you stared down the balcony in somewhat uncomfortable silence. there were already a handful of guests leaving, which undoubtedly would soon be replaced by more friends and family members. you envied those who climbed into the getaway cars, laughing and recalling the events of that night. still, you knew you had to be polite.

“so-” you both said at the same time before promptly bursting into a fit of chuckles.

“you first, birthday boy,” you chuckled.

you could have sworn mingyu tilted his head to hide a growing beam upon hearing the affectionate nickname you’d bestowed upon him. “well.. tell me more about yourself. do you have any hobbies?”

you lifted your chin up, eyebrows furrowed in contemplation as if you’d forgotten every little detail about yourself in a moment’s notice. “well…not really. don’t have a lot of time to myself. sometimes i read.”

“what kind of books?”

“you know.. the usual. nonfiction, i like a lot of history books. also.. i read some romance novels every now and again.”

mingyu chuckled in amusement, “ohhh so you’re one of those readers.”

you furrowed your eyebrows, mocking offense. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“nothing!” mingyu was quick to throw his hands up in mock defense, snickering. you could tell the expression of guilt on his face was genuine, a sympathetic yet sheepish grin on his lips. “nothing. you just don’t look like the type to read smut in your free time.”

“well, there’s a lot you don’t know about me,” you teased, smirking broader by the second. you’d even forgotten all about the freezing winds practically biting at your skin, thanks to him. he was easy to banter with, you could give him that much.

mingyu didn’t say anything at first, smiling bashfully towards you as if the last statement was.. promising to him. a moment of silence passed between you, your eyes instinctively falling over the balcony as a hum escaped your lips. even in your brief peace of mind, nothing could have prepared you for what he asked you next.

“are you seeing anyone right now?”

you chuckled bashfully, wondering how he jumped so quickly from such an icebreaker to a deeply personal question. “um..no. are you?”

mingyu shook his head, grinning dumbly. “my mom tries setting me up with girls all the time. that’s mostly what this birthday party is: an excuse for her to parade me in front of eligible bachelorettes.”

“i’m sorry to hear that,” you told him with sincerity, bringing his jacket a bit closer to your chest. “i get it, though. both of my parents have been pressuring me to start dating more seriously too.”

“and i imagine it's a bit harder for you too,” mingyu replied sympathetically. he had a point; there were a lot more double standards for women in the industry involving dating, hell, even just existing. you were either seen as a prude for staying single or a gold digger if you chose to date someone just as wealthy, if not more wealthy than you. there never seemed to be a happy medium, but you’d made peace with that long ago.

you shrugged. “it is what it is. frankly, i’m more concerned about keeping food on the table than seeing what the gossip magazines have to say about me.”

mingyu chuckled, albeit sadly. “well said.”

neither of you seemed to be quite sure where the conversation would go from there. there seemed to be little to no interest in elaborating on the particularly forward question he’d asked you. keeping that sentiment in mind you turned towards him, offering a small smile towards the much taller man. “should we head inside? i don’t want your mother to get the wrong idea.”

he snickered, “i could use a drink, anyways.”

he was gracious enough to let you wear his jacket just until he opened the door for you. you let out a faint sigh of relief once the familiar warmth flooded against your skin, reaching your hands up to slip the large pool of fabric off your shoulders.

but the moment you took your eyes off mingyu, your heart nearly lept out of your chest at the sight of joshua not five feet in front of you, reaching for another glass of champagne. your eyes locked, his own going wide with the realization you had caught him in a lie for the first time. he was able to keep his cool, act like your presence didn’t affect him in the slightest.. unfortunately, you weren’t so gifted in that area.

you turned to mingyu with a sympathetic yet slightly rushed grin, “it was- really nice talking to you. i hope you find what you’re looking for.”

“thanks. it was nice talki-”

before you could let him finish his thought, you rushed towards the man with fluffy bleached hair. discretion was the least of your concerns. you weren’t sure if you should be relieved that you were finally seeing him again, angry with him for ignoring you, or heartbroken that you had to meet again under such circumstances. “i thought you were going to paris,” you told him.

he looked over his shoulder, drawing in a deep breath. he knew the odds were stacked against the two of you now more than ever; you’d never found yourselves in the same public setting as both of your parents. you didn’t even have to ask him if his were close by; you knew they had a tendency to hover over him like a pair of vultures. “long story,” he whispered once he finally met your eyes. brief and distant was the contact.

you grabbed onto his arm, looking over your shoulder in the same manner as he’d done just moments before. and before you could listen to his protests, you walked him down the hall and to the nearest coat closet. no one else was around the hallways; the guests mostly found themselves in the music or drawing rooms where entertainment was provided.

you slammed the door shut, leaning back against it with your arms folded. joshua frowned once he saw the expression of hurt etched along your features, the way your eyebrows knitted together.. “you lied to me.”

“i know.”

“why?”

joshua looked away, fingers brushing along the sleeve of a random guest’s coat. it was large, dark brown.. mink, no doubt. “i.. i guess it would have been easier going back home knowing.. knowing that you thought i was still out of the country.”

you felt a strange, tightening sensation in your chest. one that was painfully unfamiliar, especially since joshua was involved. “where is all of this coming from?” you asked him quietly, keeping your position against the small door. it served two purposes: keeping him in and anyone else out. “i thought..”

“i know,” he interrupted, taking a step closer to you and letting go of the soft, plush fabric in favor of holding onto one of your hands. “i know. and i’m really sorry. i just.. i hate this.”

your eyes widened, the tightening feeling in your chest growing more intense by the second, “w-what..”

“no- no, not this,” he stepped closer, his grip on your hand tightening as he brought it up to his chest. his thumb skimmed over your knuckles, over your chilled rings. his free hand flew towards your cheek, cupping your jawline with a gentle, featherlike touch. “i mean.. sneaking around. lying. i hate living like this. i hate pretending i don’t know you exist. i want you to be able to come to my premieres as my date. i want to be able to go to your runways with you. i’m tired of this, y/n.”

you held eye contact with him, as uncomfortable as it was. his words were like daggers, the look in his beautiful, doe-like eyes serving as salt to the wounds. “trust me.. i want all of those things too. more than anything.” you paused, looking down at your joined hands. “but you know it’s a bad idea. if we tell them, there’s no way they’ll react well.”

“y/n-”

“they’ll disown us. cut us off. plus, if your parents are anything like mine, they’ll be very public with all of it.” it broke your heart to shut down such a beautiful and heartfelt declaration on his part, especially since everything inside you was telling you to abandon everything and run away with him. you couldn’t bring yourself to face him as your eyes flooded with tears; you knew the look of heartbreak on his face would prompt you to break out into heavy sobs.

“so.. what are you saying?” he asked you timidly. he was never one to raise his voice or get angry with you- honestly you weren’t sure if you would ever find anyone else quite like that in your life.

“i- i don’t know,” you answered truthfully. you couldn’t even dream of breaking things off with him. call it what you want, selfishness, fear.. but you didn’t want to lose him. that’s why you felt the need to reassure him through your heavy tears and your warbled voice, “i could never dream of being with anyone else. but i also know.. i have nothing without my parents.”

it embarrassed you to admit out loud that you were much too dependent on your parents. they dictated everything for you, they provided you with so much.. they had ties in the industry. without their help, you would undoubtedly be jobless.

“that’s not true,” he whispered with furrowed eyebrows. “you’re smart. and strong. i know you’d be more than capable.”

“shua-“

“i have enough money to support the both of us for the rest of our lives,” he told you, cupping both of your cheeks then. his touch was firm, yet gentle. “and once this movie takes off..” his voice trailed off. “let’s not make any rash decisions tonight, okay?”

just then, his fingers moved under your jawline, propping your chin up and prompting you to look up at him. “okay?” he repeated with that same beautiful gentleness, his voice hushed.

it took you a moment, but you nodded. with the realization that while you didn’t have everything figured out right that second, the least you could do was slow down and enjoy what was right in front of you. or more accurately, who was right in front of you. “yeah. okay.” you linked your arms around his neck, your chin falling to rest on his shoulder.

you pulled away just enough to look in his eyes. he’d blinked away any semblance of tears before you could see them fall down his cheeks- yet they still had such a glow of kindness and warmth in them. at times, it felt like they spoke directly to you, conveying every beautiful sentiment the two of you shared between each other. love, adoration, trust.. then they were fluttering shut once you leaned in to press your lips against his.

you both sighed in unison, as if it had been years since you held each other, kissed each other. with that being said, the kiss grew more and more desperate by the second. you’d even pulled yourself away from the closet door you had previously been leaning against, opting to press your chest against his instead. distance truly made the heart fonder, you were coming to find.

your knees felt weak once his hands slid down your figure to rest over your hips for a moment, his fingers snaking towards the small of your bare back. you could have sworn you were seeing stars by the time his fingertips folded over the tiny laces and skimmed over the skin in silky motions. his touch was so familiar to you, yet it never failed to bring butterflies to your stomach and a heated tint to your cheeks.

“i like this dress,” he whispered to you between heated kisses. you could only hum in response, hands weaving through his fluffy, ungelled hair. he smirked, feeling nothing short of pride that he left you feeling speechless. “what? you don’t like it?”

“i’d rather be wearing it just for you,” you admitted while linking an arm around his waist. under his suede jacket, of course. you clung to him, craving, needing his warmth..

“i love the sound of that.” before he could take any riskier steps, he pulled his hands away from the small of your back, his palms gliding upwards to hold onto your clothed upper waist, instead. as tempted as he was, he was not about to have sex with you in the closet; he thought it felt incredibly disrespectful, especially considering the heart-to-heart you had moments before. always the gentleman.

once his lips met your neck, you tilted your head while your hands relaxed on his waist. you felt like time had stopped from the moment you stepped foot in the closet with joshua, like nothing else mattered except the two of you. along with that beautiful, wonderful feeling came the harsh reality that your parents were most likely searching the entire mansion for you. so, you promised yourself you’d give him just a few more minutes before you’d be the one to break the embrace.

he was timid with his kisses, careful not to get too carried away and leave any marks. even so, his lips left you tilting your head back against the nearest wall in bliss. “come over tonight, please. i can’t-”

joshua lifted his head up, his eyes locking with yours. he was clearly surprised to see that your offer from earlier that day still stood, oddly enough. before he could agree, his lips parting, the door swung open next to you. you felt the impact as it hit joshua, causing him to shudder- but the culprit was quick to apologize:

“sorry, man, didn’t see you there-” vernon muttered, stepping forward to gently push past joshua, most likely with the intention to grab his own coat. of course, until he saw you pressed up against the nearest wall with your arms wrapped tightly around joshua’s waist, the man you were supposed to be in a feud with. his eyes went wide, his jaw agape as he stood in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time. “....y/n??”

—-------------------------------

needless to say, joshua didn’t come over to your place that night. you were both able to smooth things over with vernon before the party was over and luckily he agreed not to tell your parents, at least for the time being. joshua was the first to leave the closet, albeit reluctantly, leaving you to face your manager with a sheepish expression. he was disappointed in you, to say the least, offended, both on a professional and personal level.. but the important thing was that he swore he would be discreet.

you both agreed to meet for lunch the next day to discuss the important matter at hand, as well as your upcoming schedule. the pesto chicken sandwich placed in front of you hardly looked appetizing, given the severity of the situation. once your manager had found the table you reserved for the two of them, he sat down in front of you with his shoulders slumped. clearly he was just about as excited for this meeting as you were.

you were the first one to speak, flashing him that same awkward smile from the night before, “hey..”

“joshua? joshua hong?” you had to hand it to vernon: he went straight to the point more often than not.

you nodded your head, which felt heavier by the second. the weight and the severity of the situation caused an aching in your temples, one that you would have wished away hours ago if it were possible. “yeah..”

although he wouldn’t admit it out loud, vernon was grateful you took the liberty of ordering his sandwich for him. ham and swiss on rye.. you’d had his order memorized for years now. he took a bite of it, as if to drown his sorrows in the small sandwich. “i just- have so many questions. how did you guys even meet? aren’t you supposed to hate each other?”

“jihyo’s birthday party a few years back..” now that you admitted it out loud, you were in disbelief that the two of you were able to keep your relationship a secret for so long. only for all of the best efforts, the sneaking around, and the little white lies to be thrown down the drain at a stranger’s birthday party. “we got to talking and realized.. neither of the lies our parents told us about each other were true. that night he messaged me on instagram and.. one thing led to another.”

from the looks of it, vernon, himself, was starting to get a headache as you retold the events of your relationship to him. his palm went to his forehead, rubbing the skin with a heavy sigh of dread. “and.. just how have you managed to keep this a secret for so long? without my help?”

you shrugged your shoulders just as a pit began to form in your stomach. “luck, i guess?”

“let’s hope whoever blessed you with good luck is still feeling generous when your parents find out,” he shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “and they will find out, y/n. it may have been me who found you guys in the closet last night, but the two of you can only keep up appearances for so long.

“imagine if it was mingyu who found you. or one of his parents. hell, one of your parents.”

you shuddered at the thought of your parents walking in on you making out with anyone in that closet, let alone the child of their sworn enemies. “you’re right. it was.. super irresponsible of us.” you paused. “are you saying.. we should just tell them?”

vernon swallowed the last bite of his sandwich, nodding his head in the process, “better than finding out through the media, don’t you think?”

“i guess.” you leaned back in your seat with a sigh. not for the first time, you envied the couple sitting a few tables across from you. they were strangers to you, but they seemed so.. happy. they didn’t have to worry about being seen together, make sure no one was looking before holding hands, secret “i love yous..” none of it. it didn’t seem fair to you.

as vernon noticed you sitting in quiet contemplation, he folded his arms across the table. “what are you thinking about?”

“vernon.. you’re fired.”

you could have sworn vernon’s eyes grew nearly twice their size. “wait a minute, wait a minute- what??!”

“listen! you’ve given me a lot to think about and.. you’re right. i have to tell them.” you cleared your throat. “we both know it’s not going to end well, so i’m saving you the public embarrassment in advance. and i’m quitting my job. as soon as possible.”

vernon’s features softened, his relief evident. you knew that your long term manager would be well off; he had several other clients in the business besides you. still, he seemed puzzled. “are you- are you sure? you’re giving up a lot, y/n. are you sure it’s worth it?”

as you reflected on your time as a model, the benefits and perks that you were lucky enough to receive, along with the cons on the other side of it- you realized you’d never been more confident in your decision before. you were young, there was plenty of time for you to choose a more meaningful path. you nodded, leaving enough cash on the table to pay for the two sandwiches before standing up.

“it’s definitely worth it,” you beamed. “i’ve gotta go make a phone call.”

———————————————

“it’s.. definitely risky.” joshua had his reservations about your proposal. he knew what your mother was like thanks to the stories you’d told him personally, which was why he found it all so.. commendable.

“what part of our relationship hasn’t been risky?” you countered while leaning into his chest. he’d finally taken you up on your invitation. the two of you were relaxing on your balcony, cuddling on the swing while soaking up the vanishing sunlight. you hadn’t let him leave your sight since the minute he walked through your front door; you wanted to take full advantage of his time there.

“true,” joshua let out an infectious laugh and the skin near his eyes crinkled, just like it did every time he smiled. truthfully, it was a trait of his that you’d found endearing since the moment you met him. his voice was hushed as his gaze shifted from the sunset ahead to you and he lifted a hand to cup your cheek. “is this really what you want?”

“more than anything.” you immediately reached for his free hand, both of yours holding it close to your heart. there was nothing but certainty in your tone as you spoke, the look of determination in your eyes only solidifying it. “maybe i can go back to school or something. my schedule’s clearing up pretty soon.”

you felt the gentle rumble in his chest as he chuckled, “you know i’ll take care of us. i wasn’t just saying that.”

“i know. but- i really need to do this. i feel like i’ve been missing out on so much.” you played with the rings adorning his fingers rather than meeting his eyes. your confession left you feeling bashful, even if you weren’t quite sure why. “but not anymore. i love you joshua, and i don’t want to have to live in fear anymore. i just want..you.”

those three beautiful words stood out to joshua and caused him to grin like a fool. all this time, it was as if the two of you knew fully well that you were in love and therefore, never felt the need to state it directly. your affection towards each other was unspoken at times, voicing itself in many more ways than one; stolen kisses behind curtains, brushing hands together in intimate discretion, risking discovery by supporting each other at premieres or press conferences.

but now.. those three words were out in the air, never to be taken back. not that either of you would dare to if you were given the opportunity, of course. personally, joshua felt as if he could shout it from the rooftops without a care in the world. “say that again,” he whispered to you.

you were quick to reply, your voice hushed to match his tone, “i love you.”

“i love you too.” as if to reiterate his words, he pressed his lips against yours just as the sun began to take refuge behind the large palm trees. it felt beautiful, picturesque, like a scene from one of his movies.

the rest of the night, you two never left each other’s embrace for more than a single minute, knowing that even if your parents lashed out at both of you, even if you were sure to face public scrutiny and humiliation, even if you were at risk for losing everything you’d worked so hard to build, you had each other. you would never part ways with each other again, and that was truly all that mattered.

#seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #joshua hong #joshua hong x reader #joshua hong x you #joshua hong fluff #i’m sorry if it’s bad #i’ve been working on this for way too long #it might seem a bit rushed lol #kim mingyu #hong jisoo #svt x reader #svt x you #joshua hong fanfic #seventeen au

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