#its a brain disease
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being sent dottore things feels like a very anti-lamb hate crime no matter how much i tell myself ive come to terms with this disease
#its a lie#its always a lie#im never coming to terms with this shit#i was mad about it when i realized it was happening#im mad about it now after caving and adding him to the f/o list#and ill die mad about it#its a brain disease#i am extremely unwell#deny accountability#blame lizord#fr tho percy fucking put ideas in my head and i said ''oh... oh thats a funky idea actually i like that''#and now we're here#i want out let me out#can we go back to kazuha being the main/active genshin f/o please#this edition of lvmb rambling brought to you by the several dottore tiktoks in my DMs courtesy of charlie#and the one non dottore tiktok percy sent me accompanied by the message reading 'dottorecore'#lvmb rambles
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they’re both so sucks
#they make out after this . btw#my art#sketches#ultrakill#v1 ultrakill#v1#gabriel ultrakill#gabriel#3 ultrakill art posts in a day can u tell its eating my brain like a prion disease#straka's shitposts
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ivantill × ストロウ
21 Oct. - twitter link
insp. (song) link under the cut!
youtube
#my art#art#alien stage#alnst#ivantill#alnst till#alnst ivan#alnst fanart#this was supposed to be a warmup... i got carried away again#i have a brain disease and its called ivantill
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thinking about someone pinning u down so u cant move at all and they start saying stuff like:
"struggle all you want, you're not going anywhere"
"i could do whatever i wanted to you right now"
"the best part about this is that you cant do anything to stop me"
"you're so cute when youre struggling"
"seeing you squirm like this is turning me on"
#BYE!!!!!! don't talk to me!!!!!!!!!!#got brain rot disease and its terminal#😵💫😵💫😵💫#is this cnc? light cnc maybe? idkkkkkkk im just sitting here#hit posts
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[image is image is a stylised drawing of Xiao falling through a dark void; his face is hidden, but he's weeping. A golden arm catches his wrist and lifts him, golden threads dropping from the top of the image to twine around him.]
#I PLAYED THE 2.7 QUEST PERILOUS TRAIL AND NOW IM POSSESSED. AGAIN. BY THE ZHONGXIAOS#GETTING XIAO BRAIN DISEASE IN 2023… ITS MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK#genshin impact#xiao#zhongxiao#fanart#people!
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do you think when logan was hitting it from the back, wade kept moaning hugh jackman's name and he growled to wade's ear "who the fuck is jackman?" and wade just.. came?
#i can't stop thinking about them what even is this nonsense#this is a disease#i have 20+ drafts just headcanons of them#i have a chronic illness of poolverinus and its toxic chemicals keep spreading inside my brain#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#deadclaws#deadpool#wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#hugh jackman
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AND THE CURTAINS OPEN ONCE MORE.
#codacheetah#my art#isat#in stars and time#isat loop#pixel art#isat spoilers#two hat spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#broooooo. im so obsessed with this little freak its not even funny#sorry to all my followers that came bc they like furry art or whatever but i have a disease of the brain. i prommy ill draw other things#eventually.
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analysing vance hopper because he lives in my head 24/7 !
tw for like. literally everything the black phone covers!!!!!!
also there's some special effects gore rather far down in the post idk just i feel like i should warn you just in case
okay so before anyones like "but bee!!!! he only had 6 minutes of screen time in a 102 minute long movie!!!!! he was only on screen for 5.8% of the movie!!!!!" and to that i say i Know it was a real tragedy so a lot of this will be built on personal interpretation and subtext and stuff said behind the scenes and whatnot
so firstly i wanna rot about what his childhood/upbringing might've been like..... i havent quite decided on something definitive but i think we can take one look at his character and realise that is glaringly obvious he had a bad childhood, in one interview the actor that plays him (brady hepner) says "the background i had set up for vance is that the reason he was the way he was is his home life was fairly difficult, you know maybe his dad was either not there for him or he wasn't supportive, maybe he was fairly abusive, and so that creates a hair trigger sense of rage in vance" hair trigger meaning his patience is literally as thin as a strand of hair it does Not take a lot for him to snap
there more to it after that which i'll get into soon but yea thats the gist of it it's clear he had absent/neglectful/abusive parents and that would certainly contribute to why he's so angry all the time, maybe acting so explosive was the only way to get his parents' attention, either good or bad, so he just internalised that. obviously rage and anger issues like vance's lead to violence (not in all cases but in his case it does) and i think a neglectful and abusive upbringing would obviously expose him to more violence than a normal childhood would, therefore normalising it and desensitising him to it, whether he's seeing it play out in his own home and/or on television or something like that (because i doubt his parents would be the kind to monitor what content he's viewing)
i feel like he has little control over his life and that only adds to his anger, which in his case leads to a fight when his buttons are pushed too many times. i think he probably takes great pride in being the toughest in town and whatnot and winning fights and being perceived as strong and scary is good to him and helps him regain control/power, something he doesnt have at home. the rest of the quote from the interview i mentioned earlier states "this pinball machine could have been the only thing that he has in his heart that's like, good, like 'holy cow i did this, i set the score,' so when someone comes along and messes it up for him, it takes away the only thing that he has. i think that that's when he switches to a 'now you're gonna pay for that'"
similar to what i said about fighting, the pinball machine and his high score is something he has control over and its an important part of his reputation/image like. hes literally pinball vance ! and the whole thing about that high score being the "only thing he has in his heart that's good" implies that hes. well. pretty shit at everything else, which is pretty much canon if you remember that gwen said vance was held back twice in school. makes me think that while he's not the brightest in school he's certainly street smart
moving onto ermmmmm him getting kidnapped era because im sure youre wondering "well bee if he's so street smart then why did he get kidnapped" so may i raise two theories (this is. literally all i got and its not even concrete, me and my friend gray (@staggersz) tried to figure out how this could even happen and this is the most plausible thing we've got. so shoutout to him real quick he has had to deal with me being unnormal about vance for like a year and a half thanks king couldnt have done all this without my rotting buddy)
so either he got taken by surprise (most likely option) or vance's trust was gained first via getting given quarters at the pinball machine and small talk and shit like that but this is unlikely because i feel like it'd take a loooooong time for someone like vance to trust a some random stranger adult man when he clearly has issues with trusting and respecting people older than him and people with authority (e.g. cops, his parents, or school officials) so yea being taken by surprise would probably be the most realistic option, i always see people on tiktok being like "how did the grabber kidnap vance hes so strong!!!!" dude its a 15 year old boy against like. a 45 year old man who's already claimed two lives its really not gonna be a fair fight here
before i get into the next part i wanna quickly address a theory i absolutely Hate and it is so easily disproven and that is the theory that vance is the grabber's son or is related to him in some other way and i see it Far too often on tiktok and i HATE it. from what ive seen this all stems from his dream sequence where he kicks open the fence to albert's house and, presumably, goes inside after being dropped off by the police after the grab n go fight. idk if some people just straight up didnt realise this but clearly in real life he is going to his Own House??? in the dream it's only albert's house because this is how he chooses to show gwen the house she's trying to find her brother in, the house that he himself was killed in??? i hate the theory i hate it sm
the dream sequence itself is interesting though as the ghosts seem to only be able to conjure up what theyve seen in real life (like how bruce can picture the outside of the house and show that to gwen but the house number is all flipped and not right beause he doesnt know it) so vance being able to picture the house and the number and the gate and every detail would imply that hes seen it before, but im going to explain that away as either he got out once before like with finney's failed escape attempt, or the house is most likely on the route he walks to school or the grab n go or something and he hasnt actually been there prior to being kidnapped
mini rant over now onto being kidnapped i guess, so i used the missing posters to try and estimate a timeline of how long each ghost boy would've been in the basement for (although the missing posters are notoriously unreliable for details such as looks/height/age/etc, the dates seem to all line up). so we know the order is griffin, billy, vance, bruce, robin, finney, right?? if we use the poster date then billy was taken on may 4th, 1976, a month and two days after griffin was taken (april 2nd 1976). vance was taken on september 23rd 1977, almost a full year later (stay with me im going somewhere with this), and after that bruce was taken on july 18th 1978, again almost a full year later
its established in the movie that the grabber stalks his victims before he takes them (canon because we literally see the van watching finney and gwen as they walk home from school early on in the movie) but we dont know how long he does this for since griffin/billy and robin/finney were taken such short distances apart and then the others were taken such long distances apart, also it's possible he could stalk his next victim while the previous one is still alive, etc etc lots of confusing factors, but if i've done the maths right then the absolute maximum time vance could've spent down there is 9 months and 25 days, or 298 days, so erm . let that sink in !
howeverrrr in the movie gwen states that vance went missing "last spring" and september is definitely not in spring, meaning he could've been down there for a year or even longer. an explanation or excuse i could think of for the movie and the missing poster saying different things (other than the missing posters being known for some areas being wildly inaccurate) is that maybe he was taken in spring but wasnt labelled as officially missing until september, when he was properly linked to griffin and billy's similar disappearances and the mysterious grabber? i can imagine it'd be very easy for law enforcement, especially in the 70s, to dismiss someone like vance as a runaway until they get solid evidence that he was taken. idk though thats just my personal excuse / angsty headcanon for the difference in information
not sure what exactly killed him but we do hear from vance himself that "he took his time with me" so it was probably blood loss from a variety of injuries, if we look at him in his ghost scenes we can see his hair is absolutely covered in blood which indicates head injury, he clearly has a broken nose and bruising around his eyes as a result of it, he has these deep cuts on his abdomen area (apologies for the image quality but i believe they're like. sfx pieces you would wear under clothing)
and he also has just like. minor bruising (like the fingerprints on his arm) and other random blood splatters on his face and neck (assuming the blood down his neck comes from wherever he was bleeding on his head) so Yeah overall very unpleasant way to die obviously
okay now the part thats actually in the movie and it only took me 13 paragraphs to get here: vance as a ghost!! first thing i wanna point out is appearance wise i just want to say that when he's a ghost he's missing his choker and that fact Pains me. anyway personality-wise i feel like being violently murdered has, understandably, kicked his rage up to like. the highest level it could possibly go. he's insanely snarky and downright rude to finney on the phone, showing no empathy to the fact that finney is literally in the exact situation he was in
i feel like the whole "this is the nightmare end of your pathetic little life" and "if you knew what you had coming, you'd be fucking terrified" thing is definitely to scare finney on purpose and to get him to do something, vance might as well have just told him he's never going home cuz thats how it came across LMAOO, it is startling though because vance is clearly speaking from experience, that he was literally fucking terrified, and he is warning finney in his own weird way
the thing i think sets vance apart from the other ghosts is that while he does help finney, he does it for a different reason than they do. the other ghosts want finney to escape, to get out, to be free, to live, but personally i dont think vance cares about that. the only thing he wants is for albert shaw to be dead, for someone to seek vengeance, to do what vance couldn't. vance doesn't care if it's bruce or robin or finney or whatever boy could've come after that, he doesnt care as long as that man gets what he deserves after what he put vance through, and i see this through the scene at the end of vance's call where finney thanks him for his help and vance says, and i quote, "helping you? this isn't about you, fuck him! and apologies for being repetitive but to me it just literally proves that to vance, this isnt about finney or his escape, its just about revenge
we dont get to find out what happens to the ghosts once the credits have rolled, and i dont think we quite know enough about tbp's version of ghosts to guess what theyre up to, but i have a few theories :3 maybe theyre no longer bound to those two houses and they can now go anywhere they want in town? or maybe since their shared goal of stopping albert has been achieved, the ghosts can finally pass on to whatever is waiting for them next. i dont think vance would be content to pass on that quickly or easily as anger lingers, but i hope he'd be able to let go of it eventually, and hey we might find out in the sequel. i pray it mentions him cuz i will just die if it doesnt
sometimes, ok thats a lie, frequently i think about an au where he survived or escaped or whatever but ohhhh boy this post is already a train wreck so that au would deserve its own essay of a post :3 if u actually genuinely read this far then Wtf thanks for reading the ramblings of an absolute madman, only pure delusion could get like 20 paragraphs about a guy with 6 minutes screentime but hey thats how i roll, thanks again to my pal gray for letting me rot and thank u to my other pal ana for also enduring all this rot
hope u enjoyed my interpretation of vance hopper im going to crawl in a hole now and probably brainrot some more, thanks again for ur time :3
#the black phone#tbp#tbp vance#vance hopper#character analysis#i literally rotted my entire brain for this one#normally i hate when ppl tag characters in a post that isnt really about them im gonna tag the other characters cuz i do mention them quite#a few times so apologies to ppl that are fans of anyone that isnt vance this post is Vance Centric#tbp robin#robin arellano#tbp finney#finney blake#tbp griffin#griffin stagg#tbp billy#billy showalter#tbp bruce#bruce yamada#tbp gwen#gwen blake#the grabber#albert shaw#the black phone 2022#i am the number 1 vance hopper fan and this proves it#if vance has 100 fans im one of them. if vance has 10 fans im one of them. if vance has 1 fan its me. if vance has no fans im dead.#sorry to everyone that followed me for total drama content i have an absolute disease for this movie and this guy#back to regularly scheduled content soon trust#not expecting this to do numbers cuz theres actually only like 4 tbp fans on earth but had to let two years worth#of absolute brainrot for this movie that has like. barely any merch and only the slightest scraps of fan content#i stayed up all night writing this
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green beetle black beetle
#star wars#the original trilogy#boba fett#darth vader#hi. sorry for star war jumpscare. genuinely#i feel like ive kinda been on an art hiatus lately due to health stuff#i got diagnosed with a parathyroid disease recently (wahoo) so now i know why i have been feeling so bad! need more tests though#anyway. in the mean time most of the entertainment my brain can handle has been like. youtube clip compilations of shows and movies#not even the actual shows or movies. literally just sections of them on youtube#i wish i was joking#the only reason i know what happens in succession is because i have watched it in disjointed order in youtube compilations. not joking#anyway so ive learned a lot more about star wars than i ever. thought i would#mostly just the original trilogy and prequels. some of the old comics & books are interesting too#(sick to my stomach) i like darth vader he has like the same personality as ganondorf except he had no good reason for doing anything#when vader/anakin does literally anything weird or unacceptable it like. makes me laugh so hard its like jerma when he sees a car accident#boba fett’s costume design has been rotating in my head a lot too it’s very good#he’s very colorful and like. matte/unpolished compared to vader and it makes them a cool duo visually#those 2 are my favorites. vader why is the space cowboy the only person aside from sidious or tarkin who is allowed to get mad at you#sidious is my 3rd favorite. he sucks so bad as like a person that you just. you have no expectations of him except just being evil#so its just really funny like everything he does is horrible and he’s so happy all the time like good for him#i’m making it sound like ive never seen star wars before. i have i just never really cared about it until i got an endocrine disorder lmao#but yeah idk art may continue to be slow while im figuring out treatment stuff#if anyone reading this also has or has had hyperparathyroidism im wishing the strength & radiance of 1000 beautiful horses upon you
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ok yeah anyways LOOK AT MY LAPIS LAZULI REDESIGNS, BOY.
#daughters art#might as well do this while SU is still on the brain hehehehehhehe#its Mean Lapis and Nice Lapis if you cant tell 👍 (or Curly and Freckles cause their official names are just… blehhhhh…..)#fun fact i used to be *OBSESSED* with curly lapis (alongside jasper) idk something abt her just spoke to me…#<- if its not obvious already i have. a REALLY BAD case of ‘falling in love w minor side character(s)’ disease 😭😭#I LIKED FRECKLES TOO but to a lesser degree <\3 SIGGHH i just think theyre both really neat ok#i redesigned them for funsies but also cuz?? i didnt rlly like how they just had the default v-neck diamond outfit on them so i-#-tried to make them look a lil bit more like pre-crystal gem lapis :3c#su#steven universe#mean lapis#nice lapis#lapis lazuli
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#not art (yet!!!!)#preddy good kristen I got goin on in this piece#for some reason my brain isnt letting me do this one. been stalling on it for a good few days. but I intend to break thru it#I need to put this on paper at least once#(its space sweepers. I think it would be funny if the kids are in that universe too but theyre just like off to the side doing their own#thing pretty much unrelated to the main plot. theyre delivery people. theyre all still teens. they get up to shenanigans and then#one day they look up like huh the guy who founded eden fucking died?? when#kristen specifically I got a decent amount hashed out in my brain somehow. she's like an engineered messiah with a grafted engine#along her upper body skeleton that'd let her spontaneously rearrange objects on a molecular level#so she can theoretically knit wounds or cure diseases by thinking abt it very hard#sadly the engine of course takes enormous amount of energy to power. so most of the time in practice she just#has a half-metal skeleton that doesn't do anything. so she's buff as shit on the upper side and one of her punches can break your neck#but her mobility is limited and she sprains her ankles like every other week. her shins have broken like a few times#I genuinely love the way her shoes n braces look in this one its very fun#there are a lot of choices I made in this one that are so fun and also just like. a result of putting them in space sweepers#and thinking to myself here and there hey this would be cool if it harkens back to their canon designs#not riz tho other than being human he is fully exactly like how he looks in canon. hes just like that#hes the navigator and he charts their courses by hand with a school calculator#(also technically their legal counselor since he's sorta responsible for not putting them in traffic control's hands)#drawing this does make me realise a lot of these dynamics are really fun lol. idk if Im gonna ever do anything like proper for this but#at the very least if I draw this the idea will be out there)
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thinking about how shinran first reunion is also heishin first meeting
thinking about how heikazu first meaningful symbol introduction (omamori) is also the one where heiji gave the romantic symbol up for shinichi
they keep hijacking each others romantic episodes
#heishin#i cant stand them#i keep forgetting the Diplomat Murder Case is also a shinran episode 😭 heishin brain disease#its fine some shinran fans do the same and accidentally gloss over the heishin part of that episode#shipper brain disease fr#no hate to shinran and heikazu btw im a polycule believer#just thinks its funny how the episodes which is vital canon ship material is also the one where heishin fans get their food from
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black sails + tumblr text posts I have on my phone
#well hello there#im really sorry for all of this (im not)#i need to be silly otherwise there's the horrors#this kind of meme is like my brand at this point#i really really like something? chances are i'll take screencaps and slap funny shit on them#i want y'all know that i have a story of insanity with the first picture#changed the chemistry of my brain and gave me the crazies#i see john with his hands on his hips and i have to fight the urge to eat him#its a disease#also#if i had a nickel for every time i used that joke on a pirate named israel hands i would have two nickels#ill stop rambling and ill go to work now#black sails#tumblr text meme#black sails meme#long john silver#james flint#anne bonny#jack rackham#charles vane#i need to make more just bc its a travesty i didnt make something with max and madi#user purrvaire
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shout out to podcasts making me cry at work
#i am in eskew#never has something so clearly captured trauma and anxiety for me on such a personal level#also#station blue#station blue encapsulated my fucking bad brain disease so specifically#its insane#im just fucking#calling myself out rn#station blue rewired my brain chemistry tho frfr#dear diary
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Soulmates ♡
#this one is dedicated to the comments under my last art post#for clarification: i dont.. exactly ship em? its weird#they love each other!! theyre soulmates#but the aro/ace disease in my brain is strong#it wont stop me from making stupid segz jokes tho#thats my defense your honor.#overwatch#overwatch 2#ow#ow2#ramattra#zenyatta#ramyatta#anyways more comics incoming weewoo
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you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting
#me screaming on the roof of wangshu inn: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE GOOD!!!!#YOU ONLY HAVE TO LET THE SOFT ANIMAL OF YOUR BODY! LOVE WHAT IT LOVES!!!! XIAO!!!!!!!!#HES LIKE LITERALLY A LITTLE GUY. I KNOW ITS 2023 BUT I WONT LET THAT STOP ME FROM GETTING XIAO BRAIN DISEASE#he's also: in love with me. he is MY boyfriend. we went on a DATE during lantern rite#paimon got mad at me and had to be like WHAT HAPPENED TO BROS BEFORE HOES#what was i saying. anyway. uh. zhongxiao also#genshin impact#xiao#zhongli#zhongxiao#people!#comics
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