#its 4:30 am but i couldnt sleep till i got this down

[pact-ideas]

Ways your characters can transition between genders within the mechanics of dnd

this is not at all what this blog is usually about but I recently watched Identity: a trans coming out story by philosophy tube and like a true nerd I saw a moving and breath-taking piece of art and immediately attempted to apply it to Dungeons and dragons.

1. The Witches brew

The viscous green liquid within the cauldron bubbled as a wizened hand stirred with a gnarled wooden spoon “Sip once a day, every day for a year” croaked the witch “but never during the full moon”

A potion or blessing provided by the local wise woman/witches coven/hag that will slowly but surely transform the subject. This idea is maybe less steeped in the mechanics of dnd but this idea seems so classically witchy i had to include it plus this would likely be the only method of transition available for the common folks in your average dnd setting, for DM’s a fun level 1 adventure for your hero's could maybe include a character wishes to brew a potion of transitioning but is missing a vital ingredient and the party must set off on a quest to find it or it could be more of a long term thing, maybe one of the PCs is using such a potion and must occasionally either return to the witches hut to stock up or gather the ingredients themselves, lots of possibilities.

I thought that a slower transformation was appropriate since witches are fairly low level in the grand scheme of things however hags are known for making deals so maybe your character has bargained for a faster transition but then the question is what did they offer in exchange?

2. By Divine Favour

You kneel and whisper a prayer as you had done a thousand times before but this time something was different, from the sky, a beam of golden light falls down upon you and you feel power deep within your bones.

The gods are the most powerful creatures in the lore of dnd but with that comes a degree of separation, the gods are not likely to grant your wishes just because you asked so your best bet is to go to a cleric or become one yourself, spell wise however there is little they can do for you unless the dm has a very generous interpretation of the term ‘restoration’ luckily clerics have the divine intervention feat where they roll a d100 and if the number they roll is below their cleric level they can call on their deity for aid with a specific task, this task can be anything from drying out the laundry with some sun beams or alleviating dysphoria with a godly transfiguration. clerics get this ability at level 10 which means that there's a one in ten chance of success from the beginning and they can perform it once per long rest so just hang out with them for a fortnight and wait for luck to turn your way.

3. A Pact From Beyond

You hang in space as if swimming in an ocean and flying through the clouds all at once. You feel a mind older that time and vast enough to swallow a city whole asks you “what is it you desire?”

Here we are at my bread and butter. Eldritch pacts have been made for much less than a definitive change of identity so you could also throw in that your friends and family will only remember you as your new identity or you could just have anyone who ever deadnames you sucked into the nine hells.

There are other option if you don’t want to base your entire pact on transitioning. At second level you gain access to eldritch invocations one of which could be mask of many faces which allows you to cast disguise self at will without using a spell slot, what this means is that you can decide how your character looks 100% of the time. disguise self only lasts an hour but you can just cast it again and again. obviously this is a low level ability so it does have limits, the main draw back is that the spell is only an illusion. you can make your character look a certain way but you can’t change their body, at least until 7th level when you can get the sculptor of flesh invocation that allows you to cast polymorph but sadly you do have to use a spell lot for this invocation so even though you will have a proper transformation it will at most last an hour.

but hey the situation isn't hopeless I’ve heard that unfathomable eldritch beings are very reasonable creatures as long as you are willing to negotiate.

4. Find a wizard

“The ritual lasts an hour and requires you to be completely submerged” Said the kindly old man as he excitedly hopped around his arcane laboratory showing off his research which is complete gibberish to you “the magic of the clay will sustain you but if you are uncomfortable with the sensation of not breathing I have some improvised wooden reeds which you could use to breath through however a foreign body within the ritual may require me to take a little extra time to...” 

You silence him with a wave of your hand “Don't worry about it.” You lie back on the table “Lets begin,” 

Wizards have access to a larger amount of spells that other classes but only a few of those spells are fit for our purposes, Wizards have access to disguise self which we discussed in the previous section as well as alter self which would be perfect for our needs if it wasn't for the hour long time limit, if you can find a way to keep the alter self spell up indefinitely through either a magic item or a round the clock team of spell casters who take turns casting every hour, you would have a better time but even then it is an ongoing magical effect so it can be cancelled either by a dispel magic spell or an antimagic field but fear not dear reader! for wizards have the ultimate trans spell... Widowgast’s Transmogrification.

Now technically this spell isn’t part of official dnd material however the world the spell exists in is an official dnd world so I consider it cannon by proxy. Widowgast’s transmogrification is a spell that permanently transforms a willing humanoids body into another type of humanoid body this means you can change the race and/or gender of the subject. So you essentially get to look exactly how you want to with no magical baggage. There are some drawbacks of course this is a 6th level spell so you need to be at least an 11th level wizard to be able to cast it or you need to find a trustworthy wizard which is a challenge in of itself plus the spell components are costly but in my opinion the pros of the unique spell outweigh the cons.

[kpurereactions]

Im Here Ch. 7

Hey Hey Heyyyyyy its  MAAAAFIAAAAA TIMEEEEEEEEE

Kitty

Pairing: Jaebum x Reader

Rating: Drama, Angst, Smut, Fluff WARNINGS: Language, Eventual Violence, Lots of Smut Later on

Part | Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |

 You're anxiety surfaced the moment your eyes laid on him, but though you knew you shouldn't be trusting him you were desperate. You could tell by the way the guys behind you tensed that they knew your history, more specifically your history with BamBam. Without making eye contact with any of them you motioned for Bam to follow you, taking him through the house and out to the back yard. You could tell that no one was comfortable with you being with him, especially outside but you needed him.

“So are you going to tell me what's going on?” BamBam asked in a soft tone, trying whatever he could to not scare you.

“I'm sick of people putting themselves in danger for me.” You said folding your arms across your chest, your voice coming out as cold and bitter.

“So why am I here?”

“I want you to teach me how to use a gun. No one in this house would even think about thinking about letting me touch one so I called you.” You said, your voice fading towards the end of your sentence.

“You want me to teach the girlfriend of the one person I’m terrified of how to shoot a gun. Are you crazy?”

“It's the least you can do for me. Especially after what you did.” You said, your heart pounding as you threw a dig at him.

You could see his heart dropping at your words as his eyes looked down and his hand came up to squeeze his temple. You watched him as he wavered, his hands moving to rub his face fully now and you watched as he looked over to the guys half standing on the porch and the other half looking through the kitchen window. He surprised you when he dropped to his knees, the palms of his hands gripping to the grass as he repeated a string of ‘im so sorries’ your way.

Seeing this man dressed perfectly from head to foot begging for forgiveness made you sad. You didn't know why you were sad, just seeing him like that tugged at your heart. It was your weakness. All the old memories flooded back and you found yourself kneeling down to become face to face with him.

“Just teach me how to use a gun.”

After getting his composure back you tried to lighten the mood as best you could as he pulled out the gun and handed it over to you. You could see the first initial reactions of the guys watching was to pounce, but when the gun touched your hands they did more than that.

“Stop it, this can not happen.” The oldest of the group said as he half ran across the yard to meet you guys.

“Go inside.” Was all you said, but the tone in your voice was enough to make them retreat enough so BamBam could continue.

He took his tole teaching you how to hold it, how to take the safety off and put it back on, how to load it and last, how to shoot it.  It was easier that you thought it would be, and as BamBam slowly nodded and clapped his hand, his eyes not leaving the dead center of the tree you had just hit. You had impressed yourself with how accurate you were. You stood there as bambam excused himself, going back into the house just like he still lived there.

He returned with a handful of empty cans and bottles. He called for you to follow him as he reached the back of the gate and lined them up.

“If you can hit these in one go, you can hit anything.”

“Even if its moving?” You said looking over to him.

“It's easier if their moving.”

Target practice was enough to make you confident, and you were surprised at how easy things had fallen back into place with him. As if he hadn't done all those things. It was the last row, you had nailed almost every shot since he started lining them up and you were becoming confident with your ability to aim. But every time you pulled the trigger, the angrier you got at your current situation.

You had lined up again, your head tilted slightly and one eyelid dropped so you could focus on the last can when a voice behind you made you jump and soon the gun was snatched from your hands.

“Are you mental!?” Jaebum screamed, his hands knowingly putting the safety back on before he threw the gun back at BamBam’s chest. His eyes never left yours, making you feel every ounce of anger that he had in his body.

“What do you think you're doing!?” He yelled again, stepping closer to you. But there was no way you were backing down.

“If I knew all it took was me holding a gun to get you to finally acknowledge me.” You said trying to walk by him, but his arm caught you again, this time not as soft.

“What is that supposed to mean.” His jaw clenched.

“It means stop babying me and let me do something for myself for once.” You screamed.

He let you go this time, watching you as you walked away, only stopping to steal BamBam’s gun off of him. You didn't dare look behind you until you were back in your room and the door was locked. From your bed you could hear Jaebum yelling at everyone down stairs, probably trying to hide the fact that he was embarrassed you had called him out like that in front of an audience.

But once it was quiet it stayed quiet until the sound of the boys rustling around downstairs  was enough to spark your interest. Your mind fought with yourself. Half of you wanted to go down stairs and stop pouting, but the other half, the half that won, told you you needed to stay put. To not let Jaebum win. And the fact that he hadn't knocked on the door once made you realize that he was trying to hold out as well.

Every once in a while you thought you heard a knock, but you didn't believe it was anything more than your imagination. Until his voice came through the door in a very soft tone.

“Y/n I've been sitting here for four hours, please let me in.”

Your heart sunk, there's no way he had been and all those knocks were real. You stood, not knowing if you should answer it but you had made enough noise slipping out of the bed that he knocked again. The time read 1:30 am when you looked at the clock buy the bed. You felt terrible. Another knock brought you out of it and you quickly closed the space between you and the door. You let another second pass and he knocked again.

You didnt think youd be relieved to see him on the other side of the door but when you opened it to see him standing with his head in the crook of his arm and his hair a mess and his shirt undone at the top you couldn't help but sink back into the room. Before you could get to far he reached out for you. You let him pull you into his chest, and the feeling of his shoulders shaking slightly made it easier for you to wrap your arms around his waist.

“Are you still mad at me?” He mumbled into your shoulder.

“Yes.”

He chuckled lightly and readjusted his grip around your waist sighing once more before tightening it enough that lifting you would be easy. You tried not to giggle as he fell with you on the bed, and when he pulled his torso off of of yours you were able to see just how sad he was.

You hit his chest playfully to make him smile, but it was just for a second before his head dipped back down. You wrapped your arms around his head, your fingers stroking his hair when a soft ‘im sorry.’ vibrated against your shoulder.

“Are you still mad at me?” he asked again lifting his head up once more so he could look at you better.

“Has anything changed?” You asked.

“Not yet.”

“Then yes.”

He bit his lip, looking at you to see if there was anything he could do and when he couldn't find the answer he bent down and kissed you.

“How about now?” You shook your head and looked up to him with big eyes.

This time he kissed you longer, but just as soft. His lips lingering on yours as he mumbled another ‘What about now?’ When you shook your head a third time he didn't take any time pressing his lips to yours harder, his body pressing yours further back onto the bed. You weren't mad anymore. You needed to feel him, especially since it had been so long since he had touched you like this.

You couldn't help the instinct to arch your back into his chest more, you knew he loved it when you did that to him. The kiss heatened, his body rocking against yours. His hand took yours and intertwined your fingers against the bed, pressing you harder into the sheets. A small smile left his lips as a airy moan left yours. He moved his kisses down your neck and across your chest You tried to wiggle your way to get over him but he held you down, both your hands pinned over your head. He kissed you harder, his body making its way between your legs and this time it was his turn to let out a soft moan.

This kiss soften until his forehead rested on yours, his eyes closed and breath light.

“You know all I want is to protect you, right?” He said, letting you push him up so you could sit face to face. You never let go oh his hand though.

“It's not your job to protect me.”

“Y/n…”

“Jaebum please. I know, you're just as important to me. But protecting me isnt your job. I know you feel like it is, especially in this circumstance but its not your job. Let me just be your girlfriend.” you said, never looking up from where his hand held onto yours.

“I just can't see you get hurt. I cant see yourself be put in danger.” You sighed and took his cheek in your hand

“I don't feel in danger. I feel annoyed, but not in danger.” You said trying your hardest to get him to look at you.

You watched him carefully, his cheeks between your hands as he nodded slowly and avoided all eye contact. You didn't know what else to do other than pull him back into your chest and wrap your arms around him tightly.

He laid like that with you for a while before he sniffled once and propped himself up. Hed looked at you before giving you a soft smile and sat up, bringing you with him.

“Lets get in bed.” He said before kissing you till you laid back again and standing you.

You couldnt help but giggle as he stood and walked to his closet. You watched him undressed, the sheets pulled up to your chin and your eyes half closed as sleep started to take over you. He walked back over to you slowly, his hand rubbing against his bare chest. He made you softly giggle again when he got on the bed by going over you instead of walking to the other side. Though it didnt take long for you to get to sleep you couldnt help but smile as he seemed to hug you even tighter and tighter as the two of you drifted off into sleep.

[bestillmybeefyheart]

Good morning friends across the globe, good afternoon evening and night to those who it applies.

It’s Wednesday. Hump day as some call it, I call it another day on the sofa for whatever is wrong w me that month day. I know its a longer name and finding a card for it is impossible but so is National I May Have Eaten Your socks and I’m sorry day but that doesnt stop me.

So... just a follow up on my world or summary since, you know, I have nothing else to say due to it being so early and my brain is not working.

Leg... doing well. I did 3x10 of my basic foot movement PT work yesterday (dorsal and planar movement, circles, writing letters and numbers). It wasn’t easy, I had to do it slow and not push, but I did it. And since I’m only down a week w my foot in the wraps after surgery not 2 months, it went well. Let’s only in minor discomfort today. I’ve also been putting more weight on it as it comes back to life so to speak. I’m excited, proud and anxious. If I’m going to do this I’m doing it right. Dr also said I dont need PT if I dont want it and that we could review in a month in case I hit snags. I think I can do all my home PT and be fine and once I can ride my bike I’ll be peachy. So good there.

My insomnia is there as always, but since I have the leg pain and some pain pills, Ive been timing my pills halved with my getting near bed time esp if I had a long time. Walking on crutches is literally more work then you’d imagine and by the end of the day I’m super sore as is my foot. So I sleep or med sleep for a few hours instead of being up all night a zombie. FWIW I am not dependent on the meds, I take them purely to stay ahead of pain esp as I push myself and my foot. Always halves and only as really needed. Been down the opiate addiction road before so I’m careful. Despite having zonked out just past 10 last night and waking at 645, I’m still a zomb today like I am every morning. I am not a morning person.

Folks are going out of town for a week starting today so I am dependent on my brother and Uber and what food is in my house. And what I can have delivered. As long as they dont shut off my internet before the date agreed (another story will share next) I’m good. I hope. I’ll be busy working my foot. I have a month of this before next appt. Its frustrating for sure, I feel ok, I want to get out, but I’m supposed to be letting my leg heal. Last time it was pain pain pain and the sofa was great. This time, I want off this crazy ride. At least I can get stuff and Uber. So thats good. And most of you would say “being home a month Dr orders and getting paid is a dream”. It was a year and a half ago. Now it’s just, I need out and a life, lets say that.

Internet... SOOOO, being home all the time, I hit my cap a lot, and before a few months back they didnt enforce it. Bring on the 4k, data flies out left and right, I hit my cap in 4 days of 4k binging, learning that 4K eats your bandwidth alive, esp in the older format. Note, YouTube runs 30-55MBps when playing 4K. Which is why theirs looks amazing. Sorry Apple TV 4K users, they dont support 4K in their YouTube app. (Or any app, their 4K is horrid, dont waste your money on the new Apple TV and if you doubt me, I have hard proof and 4 other peers who agree who are industry). So I call internet provider to see if I can get some help, a break, a discount, some small refund for overages. 7 year customer, they told me more or less screw you. So I told them to cancel my tv and internet and eat my butt. So I have till the end of the month to find a new plan. Or call back until I find a good employee who understands. They didnt even try, just told me tough. Id name the provider but lets face it, any provider name would fit in there. What sucks worst is, I am grandfathered into the most perfect tv package for $30 a month with ALL my channels minus BBCA and Freeform. And I can get my 2 FF shows off Hulu. And Doctor Who off iTunes. The same plan now to everyone else is $80, so Id lose that huge discount. And be stuck with OTA.

Tivo, collection and ocd. I have ocd, I have a desperate need to tivo and download everything I record, collecting shows and keeping track of episodes I’m missing. I will not be able to do that with anything but locals once this change happens. And none of the online streaming tv services let me save the files and convert for Apple TV use. Sad about losing that, it’s giving me bad anxiety. I’m still upset the provider couldnt be bothered to even begin to give a crap. Angry about it too. But I will make sure the new provider knows. I’ve already got one who has offered me a switching bundle that is half the cost of my internet now and free tv for 6 months. Of course they only offer 50/1 and I have 150/10 and use 6-8 of that 10 out every night. My security system can’t even run 1 camera off 1 out, and I have 5 running at night, 3 day, doorbell cam and 3 more in boxes to be mounted. So that is a problem. This whole thing is eating me inside. Which is why I want to get on my feet and biking, an hour or two on the bike is not only good for me physically but also emotionally and mentally. And its 1-2 hours Imnot using internet or watching tv.

Let’s see... I finished my chili sadly. 6 meals out of 1/2lb of meat, 1 can beans, 2 cans tomatoes and some Williams seasoning plus water. FTW. I just wish I had more I love me some chili. I could have made that last bowl be 2, ate more crackers but I had the last crackers so I ate all the chili. It was damn good. So worth it.

Lists... I missed this as I was not really “here” but I have to say this and its all I will say, making lists is bad, burn books, etc, any list that excludes no matter how well intended, is a recipe for disaster. Names that shouldn’t be there get put there, people are ruined, others worry they are on it even though they are good people, it ruins friendships and more. Hitler had lists. McCarthy had lists. Say no to bad people lists. Love you fellow man and woman and whatever you identify as, hug and talk and show them you are good and care, that is all that matters.

Stretch yawns - you know how great a stretch yawn feels? It doesnt feel so good when it makes your injured leg move in ways its not ready to move, tightens muscles that aren’t ready to tighten. And yet,I just did it and it felt good overall minus the foot pain. A good stretch yawn can solve world problems. its like a yoga move that your body just knows. :D

What else... Its 50f here. Sun is up and bright, so bright that the light coming through the door is so intense I thought the kitchen light was on and barked out an order to Alexa to turn it off. It didnt, I asked again, then realized DOH it’s sunlight. Silly windows. Lol. I’m old and slow so excuse me if I take a minute to catch up. I’m like watching a movie on a dialup modem, I take a long time, you have to watch me buffer a lot, but in the end I’m worth it. :D Ha, sorry couldnt resist.

Speaking of modems. I found out that AT&T throttles you when you’ve hit 10GB of internet usage via personal hotspots. (Was looking at it as a stop gap for home but I’d hit 10GB in a day.). They throttle you down to 2x 56k modem speed. Seriously. WTH? Its 2017, most major countries have crazy cheap and fast internet and no one is throttled. Here in the US, the providers run wild and unchecked and do whatever they want because they know you are screwed and cant do a thing about it. Sounds like our countries leader right? Except I cant call and cancel him. I wish.

Since its Wednesday, I was going to do a hump day picture, but my camel is in the shop. So here’s a gif of a goat instead.

Love, b

PS, get this, a search for “goat” in the GIF section here came up with NO GOATS. Its a goatsperacy!!!

Still love, b

[17sunday]

writing on the day of dec. 6 2019

this week has been so fucking wild I had to document it or else my sleep depravation will make me forget it by tomorrow!

sunday - dec. 1 thanksgiving weekend has come to a close and i’m FUCKED, like I have so many fucking projects to complete (mind you, these are all master’s level courses) and I’ve sort of started, but I know the biggest hurdle for all of them has yet to be completed. I have severe anxiety on things not getting done and i will literally stay up if I feel like I am not making enough progress on something...so guess what I stay up till 6 am in order to run this code on Rstudio (sleep count: 3 hours)

monday - dec. 2 I am a teaching assistant for capstone, so I can’t sleep in and go to class to help out my students, keep in mind i’m tired, but I can usually thrive off of 3 hours if its only a day and I take a nap. turns out i had a lot more to do for my project presentation on tuesday than i thought (ah it always becomes that way huh?) and I had no nap because i had to go to office hours for last minute checks, then I had to work on the code....but at 1AM when I was generating the graphs, I reached an error and its hard to explain the logistics but I had to REDO all the coding analysis again and i was on such of a crunch on time yall that I COULDNT EVEN CRY AND HAVE A BREAKDOWN WHAT THE FUCK AND I SLEPT AT FUCKING ASS O CLOCK 6 AM (sleep count: 6 hours)

tuesday - dec. 3 i have a presentation in this advanced bio class (i wont specifically name the class just in case LOL) and I think I did well but my professor asks me (and everyone in the class) to do another coding shit YET HE TELLS ONE STUDENT SHE DID A LOT AND JUST ADD TO DISCUSSION LIKE U FUCKING BITCH WE ALL WORKED HARD *victoria justice voice* HOW DARE HE BULLSHIT US LIKE THAT, HE KNOWS DAMN WELL WE ALL WORK HARD AND NOW WE HAVE EXTRA SHIT AND THIS BITCH GETS NONE IM DONE WITH THIS FAVORITISM I SWEAR TO GOD but several people liked my presentation and said i did a great job so i felt so RELIEVED after the presentation, IT WAS DONE THE CODE WAS DONE and then I had lunch with jake and thai and we had the funniest fucking conversations i love them so much

THEN I HAD A FUCKING PITCH TO MAKE FOR WEDNESDAY AND I HAD A WEDNESDAY MEETING AT 8 AM BUT I SLEPT AT 6 AM AGAIN BTICH LMAO I ended up telling my professor I couldn’t make the meeting and they were fine with it, I’m glad I have an understanding professor who won’t pressure us and is understanding when things come up

I showed up to class at maybe 10:30 AM? (sleep count: 10.5 hours)

wednesday - dec. 4 I’m walking death at this point. I stayed up to finish my pitch, i watched m*mas and that show was bullshit and a waste of time aka svt deserved daesang butttttt whatevers, I go to class and I’m working on other assignments and take a 30 minute nap before my 4:50PM class (which goes until 7:30 mind you). I show up to class and we do our presentations. I’m already in a rough state of mind, and i always compare myself to others so when my professor heavily complimented my peers and didn’t leave room for a nice compliment for me I was so devastated and it probably showed on my face i was on verge of TEARS. I’ve dealt with so much bullshit I couldn’t even face this I was literally just working off of no sleep and my constant self-deprecation made me sensitive but I talked to both jake and thai and they made me see a perspective i would have never seen before. before i left the class i reached out to my professor on what I can improve and she gave me pointers and she is good at reading people’s faces and said “its great bea...its so great!!” and i felt INFINITELY TIMES BETTER! she’s also so so kind to me. My friend a/hmad also said “bea i dont want you to depend on others to say good job, because no matter what, someone will always critique you” and that really hit me hard, for the first time i thought about how i perceive myself and how dependent i am to receive verbal affirmation from other people. I realized i no longer wanted to be tied to that. I want to have confidence from MYSELF because i know my OWN worth, not because i’m happy someone else sees me as worthy....it was a catalyst and now im learning...i feel like i always learn something big in college in terms of my self growth and I am SO happy for that... anyway my team and i worked late into the evening for a cyber project to figure out how to alter a PID controller and I almost broke down but my team and I were working hard and eventually we reached a solution (not what I thought would be the best, but Muthuswamy was on board!!!) and my team said “ok we aren’t getting anywhere lets go home” when it was 11PM and we all agreed. We, and me especially have been dying this week and the rest would do us good, my friends all pleaded for me to sleep early and I promised them i would :(( i love how worried they are, their kindness touches me!!! ALSO JAKE GAVE US RIDES BACK TO OUR PLACES AND FUCKING PUT ON TOKYO DRIFT AND DRIFTED LOLOLOLOLOOLOLOL

slept at 2 AM (sleep count - 18 hours)

thursday - dec. 5 FINALLY I GOT 7 HOURS OF SLEEP! I TRUSTED MY TEAM AND LET US ALL REST TO WORK HARD TOMORROW. I showed up to class where I realized the bullshit where the favorite student got to do nothing and we do everything LOL but i was whatevers about it. afterwards I booked it to the tutoring center to finish up the presentation. Jake clutched and got all the graphs looking PRETTY I LOVED IT! HE IS A TRUE BRO! we went to class a little later but muthuswamy went through presentations and was impressed and jsut wanted to make sure we make robust testing in the report which made me SO HAPPY! he seemed to recognize us and our efforts too!!! IM SO GLAD HE LIKED IT

we then had to work on homework and i swear we had the funniest fucking conversations like a/hmad’s team texts him please in front of each text and so he started texting please in the first part too LMAOOO IM SO DEAD, then like both a/hmad and s/teven worked on the homework cause j/ke and i did the project LOLLLLL and jake and i would fucking LAUGH at everything cause what is this BULLSHIT we’re learning HAHAHAHAHAH

THEN JAKE SANG HALO IN THE HALLWAY WHEN IT WAS ECHOY AND WHEN HE WALKED IN HE GOT STANDING OVATION FROM CURRENT SENIORS LMAOO

we turn in the homework by 8 and thai and i leave by 9:30 to get ihop. we were angry at service but the server who just clocked in was so NICE AHHHHHHH, we had our regular sleepover and i practiced for pitch FOR THIS STARTUP COMPETITION slept at 3am (sleep count: 25 hours)

friday (today) - dec. 6  SO NO ONE REPLIED WHAT TIME I HAD TO HELP OUT AS FACILITATOR SO I JUST SHOWED UP AT 12PM AT THE PRESENTING AREA. I enjoyed talking to my students and got some action shots taken of me hehe. then i went to the presentation and KILLED IT AND MY TEAM WON 10K OMG, i will elaborate later, still processing churro n taco LOL

[alxxkim]

final week of the semester.

my voice teacher is incredible.

im listening to him singing as i write this and wow its making me feel so emo haha.

john texted me today.

he said he read all my letters.

this past weekend was really fun.

on wednesday, i borrowed brixton’s car and drove to irvine and driving alone on a semi empty freeway with a playlist full of your favorite songs is just the best feeling ever. but i drove to shin’s and we actually spent a handful of hours together lol. we first just sat in the car and sang to the script and then the first time we fucked, he literally came so quickly haha it was actually kinda insane. and then we just sorta laid there in the back and cuddled and talked for the next hour.  after the second round we eventually decided he should go back to studying but we decided to shoot some hoops :p before saying bye, so we went to the court right by his house and he showed me how to play. then i hung out with brian briefly and basically just drove around irvine until i decided donut star was the only place open LOL. then the weekend came, but i had work friday night so i wasnt expecting to see shin.  i wasn’t really checking my phone but i was in a lot of pain cause i was really hungry and high lmao. he had texted me asking if i need him to bring me any food or drink but since i was auxing i wasnt checking my phone, so i had no idea he had asked. i was just going about trying to survive the rest of my shift and then harry looked for me saying someone was on the phone for me. i was quite confused cause i couldnt think of who would call me through WORK, but when i picked up the line was silent. i didnt think anything of it honestly, thought it was some prank if anything. then i checked my phone and was sad i didnt see it earlier. i went home and showered and shin called me and then told me it was him who called LOLOLOLOLOL cutest thing ever. then he said we can go get food, so he came to get me and he said he wanted to be home by 1, if not 12:30 and it was like around 11:45 or something so i rolled my eyes and agreed. he got ice cream first ofc, and then we went to the innout at utc and i said i wanted boba too so we parked first to get cha. then we went through the drive thru and then he stopped at pv :p and i ate and these like 4 cars all pulled up and parked one by one and they were obviously high schoolers just trynna smoke probably but they left and then came back in one car just to “have a good laugh” attempting to scare us or some shit? lol but shin said a lot of sweet things. and things that i feel the same exact way about. like, he said hes so happy he met me, and that he cant imagine his life without me. he also said that he thinks he might like me.  i didn’t really say anything, and even when he kept asking what i was thinking about i didn’t say anything.  he did reiterate that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship and i get that but yeah. then on saturday omg i probably won’t ever let go of this but i made him wait like almost 40 min in front of my house...... i was getting out of coco with karina and i thought i would be home around 8/8:15 but traffic was so bad and shin wanted to get chronic tacos for dinner so he was gonna get me after gyming but yeah :( i feel really bad still. i felt rlly bad so as soon as i got in the car he like basically told me the sitch and so i started crying LOL i just fucking hate doing that to people.  then i got home and ate my burrito while watching the office and then just stayed in bed till i slept and then i woke up at like 3 cause shin called me and then i stayed on the phone with him till he was done with his work and we hung up around 5. but he asked if i wanted to study with him the next day and i was really down so we said ok 10 am and said good night. before  the first time i fell asleep, he called me just to tell me he fnished his big ass burrito and was like “i dont know why but yeah i just wanted to tell you” haha. 

then i woke up around 11 and called him and every time i called, his sleepy ass would pick up, but would say he needs like 20 more min haha and i could tell how sleepy he was so i let him sleep till a little before 2.  then he came and got me and we got to uci and found a room and worked and stayed there until a little before 8. i took a little break in between to meet with karina at cha to get my wallet and boba. josh was working and i wanted to tell him i was with shin haha but he was making drinks and didnt take my order so i didnt. the sky was so beautiful! i was really happy that i took that break and didnt miss the sunset. lowkey wish shin and i took a break together though to see the sunset together.  but yeah then shin said we can go get seulangtang so we said ok at 8 we’ll leave and eat. oh i also saw justin!!! he was studying in the same area as us after we moved. Then we left and ate and it was dankies.  he ate so much odang.... like 5 dishes...............  and then we tried getting ice cream but rite aid didnt have anything cause apparently thats a thing on sundays and then he dropped me home.

that was my weekend