#itll take me way longer to write the next couple of parts but i Will write them hopefully

[aranarumei]

the anomalous agate (part 1)

edit: there's an updated version of this here

so. a few days ago i floated the idea of a crossover of hanzawa to tashiro and the case files of jeweler richard to the illustrious @dirtbra1n, and after talking about it i. could not stop thinking about it. here is that. you will notice above it says part 1, and that is because I spiralled a bit out of control. this is so long (4.3k) that I thought it merited me posting it on ao3 as well, if you'd prefer to read it there. there's also some notes about the fic contained there, none of which I feel like repeating, except i do have to credit the line of dialogue where seigi asks hanzawa why he has so many piercings to @dirtbra1n. that's entirely their genius.

without further ado, under the cut:

case 2-x: the anomalous agate (part 1)

The longer I worked for the shop, the fewer days arrived when there were no appointments scheduled for the day. As always, Richard seemed unfazed by the lack of customers. I supposed it made sense—this was a shop that only existed on the weekends, after all. He had hired me, but had the two of us not met by chance, it was likely he wouldn’t have hired anyone at all.

Perhaps the reason my employer seemed so content was the fact that he was currently cutting into a delicate slice of tiramisu crepe cake. He ate with almost ethereal grace, and as I somehow hadn’t thought to grab a slice for myself, my mind wandered to the circumstances that had led me to the purchase.

The week before, I had been making Richard’s royal milk tea as usual—I felt somewhat confident in my skills at this point, but there really was no matching a master—and asked him if there was a reason we didn’t serve coffee to customers. It was a common feature of many cafés, after all, and though this place was no longer a café, we still offered things like tea and snacks to customers.

Richard had stared at me like he was waiting for me to figure something out on my own, and after wracking my brain for possibilities, I tried, “We have barley tea and green tea, so it can’t be because you think anything except for royal milk tea won’t do…”

I received a deep sigh for my efforts. Richard arched an eyebrow. “Do you know how much is involved in the process of making coffee?” he asked.

As the coffee I most regularly consumed came from a can, there wasn’t a single response I could give.

That night, I searched up the process of manufacturing and brewing coffee, and quickly found myself beginning to develop a headache. Not only were there many places where coffee beans were grown, the different ways in which coffee was then brewed and what it was paired with felt almost limitless. Searching for espresso machines brought prices well over 15,000 yen, and it was at that point that I began to understand what Richard had conveyed in a single sentence.

Instant coffee could be made without any sense of technique or equipment, but the kind of coffee that set one’s mind at ease was probably the kind that only a real café was capable of. Or a coffee enthusiast, and I was neither. I tried to conjure the image of being offered canned or instant coffee at Jewelry Étranger, and immediately wrinkled my nose. Coffee at a café was meant to pleasant; I had no desire to remind myself of what it felt like to work late night after late night as a security guard. While I felt coffee had a warm, comforting scent, I knew all too well that it was also a bitter necessity. I was thankful that the caffeine had kept me awake, but it only worsened the quality of my sleep.

Still, though I had given up the idea of introducing coffee to our drink selection, I must not have completely forgotten about it, because the next time I stepped into a bakery, their offering of a tiramisu crepe cake caught my immediate attention.

I’d had tiramisu only once during a birthday in junior high. Birthdays when I was younger were a melancholy affair—they were small, intimate celebrations that reminded me of the insignificance of my life. It was the same feeling as lighting a candle in pure dark—loneliness shined more under small points of light. But my mother had always remembered to buy a cake year after year, no matter the circumstances. While she had already developed a taste for coffee, I still considered it something that was a bitter, awful drink that adults actually enjoyed. But after some firm persuasion from my mother, I reluctantly dug in.

Add enough sugar and it can turn bitter into sweet. I knew that now, but as a child I had been given an experience akin to magic. Even now, I could still recall the light and sweet taste accompanied by the delicate hints of coffee and chocolate.

Remembering it now, it was hard to explain why I hadn’t had one in such a long time, but I hadn’t developed the habit of searching out cafés, bakeries, and sweet shops until I started working at Jewelry Étranger. Food tasted better as of late.

This bakery in particular was a favorite of mine—it felt like every time I entered, there was still some sweet I had yet to try. And encounters like these, where it felt like little parts of my life were slotting together in serendipitous fashions, were becoming far more common. It was obvious in the way I’d found out about Tanimoto-san’s love for rocks and minerals, as well as her friend Shinkai’s dance company, or Hase-san visiting at the exact time I happened to be in the back, but when I told Richard this, he simply brushed it off.

“The more knowledge and experience you acquire, the more the world reveals itself to you,” he said. “Department stores have existed before you began working here, but only once you took an interest in diamonds did you notice the kinds of jewels they sold. The girl you wish was your girlfriend had an interest in minerals long before you began to. That was not fate—it was the fact that the more you learned, the more you could find commonalities or points of connection in the world around you.” He paused. “You, in particular… I would guess that you run into so many coincidences because you’re unable to turn your back.”

He was correct. The more people that visited Richard’s store, the more that I came to knew about the world. I had liked Tanimoto-san before I had met Richard, and she had loved rocks and minerals for far longer. But because I had been able to meet with Richard—and that was an encounter that could have only been fate—I’d gained awareness of a part of the world that had always existed, just not in my eyes. The more I learned about jewels, the more I treasured various things.

So that Saturday, I entered the bakery again, bought a slice, and arrived at Jewelry Étranger with an offering.

“…I still won’t give you a raise, you know,” Richard said.

As always, he looked beautiful. I had the feeling that he’d be annoyed if I told him the purchase was due to a bottomless kind of gratitude.

“I know.” At this point, I wondered if I needed to directly tell him how he paid far more than what I earned as a security guard. But I’d already turned down a job offer to stay here, so he must have known that I felt as if the work I was doing here was infinitely more valuable.

Since we’d had this kind of exchange quite a few times before, Richard tried the tiramisu crepe cake without much fuss. It was obvious he was enjoying it—perhaps his face hadn’t cracked out into a smile or anything of the sort, but there was a serene look on his face when he was enjoying sweets.

As he ate, a question popped to mind: “Say, Richard, have you had real tiramisu in Italy before?”

Richard paused between bites. “Do you mean to ask if I’ve had authentic tiramisu?”

“Well, you just seem as if you’ve been everywhere in the world…”

Rather than tell me if he’d spent time in Italy or not, Richard began to speak about the conflicted meaning of the word ‘authentic.’

“Tiramisu is Italian in origin, but the exact nature of how it was first produced is still up for debate. Tiramisu as we recognize it today certainly does not come in the nature of a crepe cake, but—” He paused to take another bite. “Grab yourself a fork, would you?”

I stared at him blankly as he deliberately placed his fork down on his plate. The last few bites of the crepe cake remained untouched, and only when he tilted his head in confusion did I rush to the kitchen in realization.

When I returned, Richard continued speaking without commenting on my lack of wits. “Something being authentic indeed means it is the real thing—a genuine article. Authenticity is also related to truth—in art, the style of realism is grounded in an attempt to depict life authentically. Without alterations or embellishments. For gemstones this is a fairly simple thing to classify—jewels are mined from specific places, so we designate that which is naturally-occurring as authentic. This runs in opposition as to imitation jewels, which are made from a different material, and approximate the look of a jewel without matching its innate qualities. The question of authenticity also is relevant when looking at heat treatment—pigeon blood rubies that haven’t undergone heat treatment are more valuable, because they have acquired the color naturally, yes?”

I nodded in agreement, reminded of Tanimoto-san’s opinion on heat treatment. She probably prized the authenticity of a gem—the one-of-a-kind nature each jewel had. I understood her feelings, but I also thought there was some kind of wonder in the process of polishing and cutting and heat treatment—each step gave a jewel a special kind of shine. But beauty was the kind of thing where opinions differed often.

“You’ve forgotten to actually put your fork to use,” Richard said, and I startled out of my daze to hurriedly take a bite. Well, no one would disagree about his beauty.

As expected, the tiramisu crepe cake was both light and sweet. The texture of crepes was certainly different than what I’d eaten as a child, but both carried that sense of pure delicacy—each layer felt like cotton-candied air. Though it didn’t smell like coffee, there was indeed the warm, rich undertone of what I’d come to understand as coffee’s flavor. If I could spend a birthday just like this… it would be a treasure of a memory.

Richard’s lips curled. “How is it?”                      

I made sure to properly swallow before I replied. “It’s delicious,” I marveled. “I don’t know why I’d forgotten the taste.”

“When you make rice at home, would you consider that rice real or authentic?” Richard asked. When I nodded, still chewing on my final bite of cake, he then asked, “Why?”

Maybe I would buy tiramisu on the way home. Or gift some to Hiromi—I could only assume that my birthday all those years ago was the last time she’d had tiramisu, too. “Well, because it’s rice,” I said. “I bought the rice grains, didn’t I? They were grown naturally. And then I cooked them.”

“If you acquired the exact ingredients required for tiramisu, and followed the same exact process as the original—though there are debates at to what the original is—would you still say that was authentic?”

I frowned. “I… suppose I would? Since everything is exact.” Was there a loophole I was missing?

“Perhaps,” Richard said. “Because it is hard to pinpoint its specific origins, what tiramisu qualifies as authentic can be hard to judge. Though the base components and methods are the same, the exact specifics differ—some may consider any tiramisu that follows the general process to be authentic, while others may not. In the case of champagne, unless what you think of champagne is made in the Champagne region of France, it cannot legally be called by that name. Even if the sparkling wine that is created is similar in taste, or uses the same process and ingredients, if the grapes are not sourced from that region, it will not be champagne.”

“Even though it’s possible to make an equivalent product?”  

“You could, indeed, make a very close match,” Richard said. “But it would legally not be authentic. Can you think of a reason why someone might want a name of a food protected?”

When phrased like that, the answer arrived to me immediately. “Brand protection,” I said. “Because the idea of champagne is precious, if other winemakers started selling something labelled as champagne, it would lose some of its prestige. By controlling what can be called champagne, they retain control over the production and image of champagne.”

“Good for you,” Richard said, and I bit down a smile. “Authenticity holds a different value for many people and many things. All that aside… this tiramisu crepe cake remains delicious.”

“It is,” I agreed, and then began to make him tea.

The rest of the day passed by in peace. Richard read from his collection of books, blond hair glittering under the sharp sun. I busied myself by cleaning the kitchen and running out to complete a few errands. The movement was helpful; the chill of autumn had settled in, and I had made the mistake of dressing far more lightly than Richard. His choice of wear likely made it easy for him to sit still, but I thought that even if he was wearing his suit in a blizzard or a tropical summer, he would seem as even-keeled as ever. That was the beauty of jewels—they were something that was gorgeous from all angles.

Around a half hour before closing time, the intercom buzzed.

Richard set down his book, and I went to let in our surprise customer.

Accompanied by a brush of cold wind, a young man stepped into the store. He had a slim frame, but despite being dressed as lightly as I was, showed no signs of being sensitive to the cold. His hair was slightly long in the front, bangs barely cropped above his eyes, but it was trimmed evenly. He was dressed casually yet neatly in a simple powder-blue sweater, gray slacks, and loafers.

The door closed behind him, and he glanced around the room once before asking, “This is a jeweler’s store, correct?”

“You’d be right,” I said, guiding him to sit in one of the red armchairs.

His hesitant expression curved into a full-faced smile. As he sat down, the awkward lines of his body began to bleed away, and he relaxed into the chair with an air of steady self-assurance. His pose remained polite, though—he kept his hands carefully folded over his lap, and his ankles were loosely crossed.

“Would you like something to drink?” I asked. Originally, I had wanted to give him something to soothe his nerves, but it looked like that was unneeded.

“Ah… that milk tea would be nice, if you don’t mind,” the man said, gesturing to Richard’s teacup.

Richard returned from the bookshelf, taking over the process of greeting out newest, customer, and I headed back to the kitchen. Both men spoke in measured tones, so even though they spoke at a medium volume, their voices carried well enough.

“…Richard Ranasinghe de Vulpian? Is it alright to call you Richard-san, then?” He spoke the name slowly, but he pronounced Richard’s full name without fumbling.

“Just Richard is fine, too.”

“Nice to meet you too, Richard-san. I’m Hanzawa Masato. If I’m not incorrect, you sell jewelry at this place?”

“Indeed we do. Is there something in particular you’re looking for?”

I returned to see Hanzawa-san wearing a thoughtful expression on his face. His gaze flickered towards me as I reentered the room. “I was hoping to look at stud earrings… is there anything else I should specify? I would prefer if it wasn’t prohibitively expensive…”

“Are there any kinds of stones you’re interested in looking at? Or a particular occasion or style this is meant for?”

When I drew close enough, Hanzawa-san turned to face me and accepted my tea, eyes still curved in a pleasant smile. “It’s something like a birthday gift, I suppose. As for stones… I’m not too knowledgeable regarding them.” He paused to contemplate.

Choosing a gift was always a complicated thing, in my opinion. For a gift, the trouble never ended at the purchase—it was always at the gifting that the issues arose. Would they understand the gift with the same meaning that I had in mind when I picked it? I thought about my grandmother and mother choosing my name. Was I the type of person they’d had in mind? I could only hope that was the case.

“I guess… something neutral would be best? The kind of earring fit for daily work wear.”

“Are you interested in looking at birthstones?”

Hanzawa-san sipped his tea, eyes fluttering shut in thought. “Not particularly.”

I had spent enough time to catch the traces of concern on Richard’s face, but not enough time to understand his worries. “It will take some time for me to bring my selections out. Please enjoy your tea while you wait,” he said, and then he was off, a determined crease to his brows.

Though I didn’t know exactly what was troubling him, I could learn. Surely Richard wouldn’t mind if I made some small talk?

“Might you also be a university student, Hanzawa-san?”

Hanzawa-san waved dismissively. “It’s only my first year, so I think I’m younger than you. I know I’m a customer, but there’s no need to be formal. Your name is…?”

“Nakata Seigi,” I said. “I’m in my second year.”

“I was right, then,” Hanzawa said. He’d passed over both Richard and my name without comment. I’d expected him to sound as restrained as he had with Richard, but he spoke freely. “Would I be right in saying you seem more interested in jewels as compared to jewelry?” At my confusion, he gestured to my neck, ears, and hands, which were bare of any accessories. “You don’t seem to wear any, so I’d wondered…”

“I suppose it’s the jewel itself that interests me,” I admitted. “Is it the opposite thing for you?”

“Most likely,” Hanzawa said. “It’s what I have experience in, anyways.”

At my once-again befuddled expression, Hanzawa brushed back his hair, and I caught sight of six piercing holes in his left ear.

“I see…” I replied, a little stunned. Even when his hair wasn’t brushed back, it was easy to see a few of his piercing holes.

Richard had probably noticed them from the moment he’d walked in.

Now that I thought about it clearly, a birthday gift could be presented to oneself, couldn’t it? Just like Yamamoto-san trying to buy herself a garnet.

I’d seen guys in my college with piercings, but none who bought any with jewels like the ones in Richard’s store. It was a kind of flashy choice for someone who looked so mild-mannered, but so were piercings in general.

In the same way that I’d only noticed the tiramisu in that bakery after asking Richard about coffee, I realized the reason for his concern. If it was a present for himself, the uncertainty in his answers could prove troublesome.

“If I could ask…” I prompted, as Richard returned with his tamatebako.

Richard set down his tamatebako with a harder than usual thud. He still looked concerned, but there was a different note to it.

“Sure.”

“Is there a reason a guy as young as you has so many piercings?”

Richard opened up his tamatebako with a sharp click.

Hanzawa kept smiling up at me. He took a long sip of his tea, and then directed his attention towards what Richard had selected.

I leaned over to take a look. As I did, Richard shot a pointed glare towards me. What? I mouthed back, but he ignored me.

The stones Richard had picked were split between gemstones with faceted cuts and cabochons. The studs themselves were made of a simple silver backing, with the stone fitted on top in a rounded or squared shape. The exception to this was the studs fitted with lapis lazuli, which were backed with gold. While I recognized the diamond and amethyst, there were a few colored stones in faceted cuts that I wasn’t certain how to identify. But the ones that caught my attention were the larger stud earrings, which were fitted with polished stones that didn’t sparkle but had bands of red, terracotta, and peach striped across its surface. Others had the same banding pattern but in soft grays and whites.

“These are beautiful,” Hanzawa said, smile dropping into a look of deep consideration. He leaned forward to study each one. “Of course, diamonds are a classic choice,” he sighed to himself.

“The clear color of a diamond is indeed well-suited to various shades of any outfit you might choose.”

“I see,” Hanzawa mused. He gestured to the rest of the jewels. “I recognize the amethyst. And the… lapis lazuli, yes? Seeing it in person, it certainly is a vivid kind of blue,” he said. “But I’m a little unfamiliar with the rest of these gems. Would you mind explaining them?”

“Of course,” Richard said. “The green stone you see here is peridot. The yellow, orange, and brown stones you see here are citrine. Like amethyst, it is a type of quartz. This”—he pointed to a deep yellow-orange stone— “is heat-treated amethyst, which looks similar to citrine, with minor differences. The banded stones are agate. They are a mix of quartz and moganite—both have an equivalent chemical composition, but different crystal structures.”

I hadn’t heard of moganite until now—unless I was mishearing morganite, but Richard had such wonderful pronunciation I thought that was impossible. Despite all of the information, all Hanzawa did was nod in understanding.

“Peridot,” Hanzawa repeated to himself. “I don’t think I’ve seen any before.”

The stone he was looking at was a sparkling kind of lime green. “It’s like the color of spring,” I said.

Hanzawa bowed his head, suddenly bashful. “Yes. It’s… well, it’s a color I’m fond of,” he admitted.

“Would you like to see more?”

He shook his head. “…No, it’s not really… well-suited for me.” After a moment of contemplation, he pointed to the lapis lazuli. “How does this one get its gold flecks?”

“Lapis lazuli is composed of several different minerals, and a common addition happens to be pyrite, which is responsible for that gold color. As you mentioned, it is a very vivid blue, which is why, historically, it was ground to create ultramarine. Before a synthetic alternative was created, it was an extremely expensive and prized paint.”  

Hanzawa smiled down at the stones. “I’ve heard of ultramarine. Isn't it what provides the blue shades in many of Johannes Vermeer’s works?”

I made a note to ask Richard who Johannes Vermeer was later.

“That’s correct.” After a pause, Richard added, “If you are looking for something neutral, blue tends to be a color that pairs well with others.”

“Oh, that’s—I’ll keep it in mind,” Hanzawa said. Haltingly, he asked, “Is jewelry made of lapis lazuli—is it quite common?”

“Compared to the rest of these stones, it’s a bit of a more delicate material,” Richard allowed, “so it has to be carefully looked after. But historically, lapis lazuli has been used in all kinds of jewelry.”

“…Is that so.”

Silence dragged on between them. Hanzawa seemed unbothered by it, though it was hard to see much of his expression, with both his bangs and lashes obscuring his eyes.

“…This agate. I feel like I’ve seen stones with this banding before.”

“Banding is characteristic but not exclusive to agate,” Richard said. “It has been used for carvings as well as jewelry and remains popular today. Each piece of agate has differences in how exactly the banding occurs, so one could say that each piece is truly unique.”

“Unique…” A ghost of uncertainty appeared on Hanzawa’s face, but it was gone in a flash. “Does it come in any other colors?”

“Oftentimes agate will be dyed into various colors, but there are some other colors present in naturally occurring agates. Would you like to see some blue lace agate?”

“Surely that dyed agate is prettier, huh?” Hanzawa murmured, so low I barely heard him. Apropos of nothing, he then straightened up, looking flustered. “Sorry,” he said. “I think—I think I’m a little in over my head.” He drank the last of his tea in disconcerting silence.

“If you’d like to come back, we take appointments,” I said.

“…Right,” Hanzawa said, eyes still fixed on the earrings before him. He set his teacup down on the table. “What would be a good time?”

“Sunday, 4PM?” Richard suggested, and Hanzawa agreed.

With that settled, Hanzawa thanked me for the tea, bid a polite goodbye to us both, and exited the store, leaving another gust of crisp air in his wake.

As it was now closing time, I went to collect the now empty teacups, only to find Richard looking up at me expectantly.

“What?” I asked.

He sighed. “Nothing that concerns you, I suppose.”

“By the way, who’s Johannes Vermeer?” I asked.

“Have you ever seen Girl with a Pearl Earring?” Richard asked.

“He was the artist?” I confirmed, and then went to wash the teacups.

When I returned, Richard was staring at his open tamatebako.

I took a seat next to him. “Thinking about our customer?”

“…Jewels reflect the inner feelings of a person,” Richard said after a long silence. “I wonder how to convey that truth to a person like him.”

“It was strange to see someone so young here,” I agreed. “Well, Hajime-kun was much younger, but his circumstances were different.”

“You’re quite young yourself,” Richard commented dryly. “Aren’t you two the same age?”

“If we went to the same university, I’d be his senpai,” I said. “Still. It’s rare. I thought he’d be more nervous.”

“…I don’t think he wasn’t nervous,” Richard said, but when I asked him what he meant, he didn’t elaborate.

“Well,” I said, wondering how I could clear those worry lines from his face, “we’ll see him next week.”

“Maybe,” Richard said, and this, I didn’t need him to explain.

If Hanzawa Masato came in next week at the appointed time, or if he had disappeared out that door for forever, it was impossible to know.

[seenashwrite]

Changes for Nash

I'm going to be pulling back the time I spend on here in various ways, and if you'd like to know in what ways you can find the basic scoop below the cut.

To new followers - I hate that you've arrived just in time to see this, but I must hit “pause” and look after myself. Story-wise (and otherwise!) there's quite a bit of original content to peruse, so I hope this will satisfy you for the time being.

To all of the Nashooligans  - please understand this does not mean I won't still post things and queue things. I've got a ton of stuff in drafts (thank you notes, replies, feedback, etc.) that will get posted in due time. I'm not disappearing. I'm not dropping the friendships I've made and the chats we have/the things we share/etc., nor a couple of challenges I agreed to and the side-blog projects I’ve committed to work on with others.

For those of you who don't read further, I'll close for you with a heartfelt...

Much lurve - Nash.

What’s changing / stopping:

I've been doing some purging offline, and now have starting doing some purging online. As there are many of you I consider friends and as I have a good chunk of devoted readers/participants in my shenanigans around here, I feel I owed you the scoop on what's changing (at least for now). 

The TL;DR is that “major” original content (things that require great time investment) are not going to be making an appearance for the near future.

So, here are the things related to how I am choosing to spend my time in the context of my activity in the world of fanfic/SPN for the future/near future:

.

* Some projects are indefinitely on hold and some projects are cancelled altogether (see freshly updated Works In Progress post); I will fulfill my remaining challenge commitments as promised, and while perhaps it will be more abbreviated than normal, I will do my best not to kick out anything less than what y’all expect from me creativity-wise

* I've pulled everything from FF.net - the user end is too cumbersome, I'm tired of wasting time on it. I've left everything up on AO3, no plans to take it down from there. I've actually been going through the works there and editing formatting that slipped through the cracks. One thing I am doing is ceasing with adding cute images to stuff, simply not willing to spend the time on it; I may or may not remove the things for which images are necessary to understanding references in a story; we'll see

* Speaking of images - and videos and gifs and whatnots - no more any time soon; I promised one to someone and that’s already done, it’ll be stuck in the Q

* The Nail is on indefinite hold, very possibly will no longer happen; I may whip up an abbreviated version with the fics I had prepped for the next edition, or I'll individually reblog them - priority going to those with less than 100 notes - with brief versions of my usual in depth commentary as time permits; we'll see

* CASPN has been a commitment of mine each week > 1 year, minus the 3 weeks or so absence in the fall due to an injury that resulted in an unexpected hospital stay; I know this is a favorite weekly "break" for a good handful of you; I think I just need my own break. I know for sure I'm no longer able/willing to work on the decks, it is likely more of a time-suck than people realize to comb scripts, get the format for workable Qs and As right, maintain the whole shebang, etc.; bottom line: I just don't know. Like I say, I think I need a hiatus. Maybe until the season premiere. I'll keep thinking about it, let you know on Thursday where I'm at.

* The couple of side blog endeavors I’m pleased to be part of will still keep happening, I committed to it and I’m not gonna leave y’all in a lurch. Plus, that stuff’s fun, and not being in charge of ‘em means less stress and less time consumption

* Having said that, I won't be finishing up the substantial behind-the-scenes work I’ve already done on the SPN Theft Watch blog that is still in construction mode; I'm not deleting it, I'm just not willing to invest time in it right now. I still have several outstanding issues to deal with regarding the personal theft that came over to Tumblr and the reblogs that still have not been deleted. There are a few I still need to give a second notice to; the ones who have now ignored me after 2x, I'm reporting

* I won't be taking on "Dear Nash" things that ask for writing advice, offering up the "Dear Nash: Script Doctor Edition" option, re-blogging any of my writing tips; to the Nonners who asked for a complete master post of such, and the Nonners who asked for a post on how to give and accept critique, I'm putting those on the back burner as well; I also won't be passing along writing tips from professionals; basically nothing under the umbrella of “advice” [ETA: I have done this once since this post (months later) and it went okay. Will consider doing again]

ETA - Neglected to mention that I’ve had an idea for a gift for y’all when/if I hit 1K followers - the “materials” have been accumulating in a bookmark folder - and it’s unlike anything/any concept I’ve seen during my tenure in the fandom. It may take awhile, but I do still plan on doing it.

And if you care to know more scoop about the why... well, the “why” of the tipping point(s) that made me seriously ponder on what I’ve been feeling for awhile now... that’s on a page I made here. 

(Spoiler alert: I’m not angry, there’s no hurt fee-fees, it’s just realization about what I choose to spend my time on and what I get out of those things, how much joy it would bring me and how that’s shifted.)

[velociraptor-whisperer]

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If you like your health care plan, you'll be able to keep your health care plan, period""

Is this insurance company giving me the runaround?

I filed a claim with USAA on September 5th on a hit and run accident in which the police were able to find the person and get his insurance. He called them and said he didn't do it - and I hit him. I called, gave my side of the story and the number of the police who were handling the accident. They always say they will call me back and they don't - so I call them in which they give me another date they will get back to me. They never ONCE have gotten back to me. The policy holder who hit me is now in jail on an unrelated offense and they say they cannot get his statements - duh. They say they will contact the police and get back to me - but they never have. The damage to the car isn't that much - it is $416 (just a headlight) but I cannot afford to pay for it. Putting it through my insurance is dumb because the deductable is $500 - at least I think that is how it works. Could you give me advice on how to deal with USAA? I can't talk to them on the weekends because they say they can't handle my existing claim. I'm getting REALLY frustrated.""

Will my insurance rate go up because of a non-moving suspension?

My license was suspended for 2 years because of a fix-it ticket that I was told was taken care of (by my mother; I was a minor at the time of the incident). It recently has been taken care of, and the case was actually dismissed by the judge. I didn't even have to pay a court fee. I'm wondering if I need to report this suspension when I am applying for insurance. I also would like to know if this will increase my rates.""

Explain which is better to invest in insurance or mutual funds?

Explain which is better to invest in insurance or mutual funds?

What is the lowest payment for a car loan?

I want to get a Camaro when im 16. Theyre about 35,000 new. Its a lot but yet not. My parents wont buy me a new car as my first. I understand why, but im not reckless or anything. Also what is the insurance for a 16 year old (great grades) driving a Camaro? I think my family has progressive. Anything cheaper? Loans are very risky I know but the job that I will be getting pays a decent amount every 2 weeks or so. I do good with money, every know and then a girl needs to shop :). My mom usually pays for all that stuff though. I dont know anything about loans and banks. How does it all work? Can you tell me like what I would be about paying each month or week for a Camaro? Dont call me stupid, Im just thinking about it. I want a sports bike instead because then I wouldnt need a loan but I need a car for the winter...""

What insurance companies should i be looking into?

I am 17 and I am getting my license next month...im not sure if my parent are gunna pay for me and I am not expecting them to....i have a 2001 grand cherokee limited v8 it is registered in my name I know gas is gunna be alot but i have a 8/hr job so ill pickup extra shifts since i dont have to walk miles anymore....what should i know when picking insurance, how can i get it for really cheap? in a couple days my school is giving me a drivers ed class and the also said itll give me a discount on insurance.what are good companies that like new drives?..please good responces!""

How do you get proof of car insurance without a car?

I had my brother listed as a driver on my insurance policy and he is moving so will no longer be using my car. The insurance company is requiring that I show proof of insurance before removing him from the policy. They are telling me there is no other way to remove him from the policy due to a DUI charge. Is it even possible to get car insurance without a car? What should I do?

If an insurance company estimated the damage on my car at $800 and I later find out it is way more can I go ba?

My car got hit, their insurance company sent me to a mechanic shop to get an estimate, they said $823 and the insurance sent me the check. I just took the car to the dealership and they said the damage was $3100, can I go back to the insurance and ask for the difference?""

""If I am married, do I have to add my husband to my car insurance?""

I live in Dallas, TX and am trying to get full coverage on a vehicle thai I am still paying on. I am the only one who drives the vehicle to work and back, adding my husband makes my monthly payment ridiculous because he has had an accident and 2 tickets. Do I have to add him on my policy? Some people say yes and some say no, I am confused....Also, does anyone know of the most affordable insurance in the Dallas area?""

What's the best site for Cheap Car Insurance?

Besides progressive and esurance... Anyone know of a better site or sites regarding Cheap Car Insurance Online? I just got my first car, it's got a salvage title so I'm choosing a one-way liability. I'm still in H.S. with a part time job, so it would really help if you guys can help point me in the right direction to a site that's cheap and affordable on a minimum wage budget. Thanks ya.""

Are SUV's usually high in insurance for teens?

I've been told that I should wait a little longer before i can get a faster car, and I was just wondering whether insurance for an suv would be high, in my case, for an inexperienced driver, (16). Parents are thinking of buying an Fj cruiser and willing to give it to me when i get my liscense.""

How much do you pay for your car insurance?

How much do you pay and is that amount on a monthly, semi-annual, or annual basis? What state do you live in? What is your age? What is the year, make, and model of the car you drive? Serious answers only, please. If you're not comfortable offering this information, please don't answer the question.""

Sr22 for car insurance?

does any one know which car insurance company's will carry a sr22

Would my insurance go higher if the car is leased?

If a car is bought by full price, would my auto insurance go low or high?""

How high does insurance go up for a speeding ticket in MN?

I recently got a speeding ticket going 60 on a 45. How high does my insurance go up I'm 16 and drive a '05 300C

How much should my car insurance go down by after a year?

Female, 18yrs old""

How much does car insurance for a 16 year old male driver cost?

How much does car insurance for a 16 year old male driver cost?

Can someone please tell me why used Audi's or so cheap?? Can someone help me pick which used car to buy!?

2003 BMW 325I 84K Miles $10,900 2002 Audi S4 64K Miles $10,900 2005 Audi A4 1.8T AWD 79K Miles $10,900 2006 Honda Civic EX 1.8 75K Miles $10,900 2003 Infiniti G35 sedan 64K Miles $10,900 insurance is no problem, all these are clean car fax, clean title, all under KBB value, the infiniti is $3,000 under value, the rest are about $1000 under value. Any ideas why Audi are so cheap? im just looking for about a 10-11,000 car with low miles. Which should i pick?""

What's the average price of car insurance?

I'm 23 and thinking about buying a car but am weighing out the pros and cons. I've had a licence for almost 5 years, drove for the first 2 and haven't driven since. I haven't made any claims that were my fault. I'd like to buy a car in group one so can anyone tell me on average how much it will cost per year? Thanks""

Is full comp' car insurance worth having ?

Apart from paying lower premiums and having to pay for repairs to ones own vehicle are there any disadvantages to just having third party fire and theft insurance ? I've had full comp for years, my car (10 years old ) was walloped by an unknown driver reversing in my driveway which caused broken lights and superficial bodywork damage, I've since been told by my insurance company that it's not economically viable to repair it - they would write it off less a 150 excess fee. Apparently, according to my garage this is common practise on any car over five years old. Yet at no time did the insurance company advise me of this so essentially I was paying extra for nothing. So, do you know of any other reason why I should keep the full comp' or just change to third party ?""

cheap va car insurance quote

cheap va car insurance quote

Why did my car insurance get higher?

My car insurance is going up over $100 per 6 months *shocked face* I am curious. Is car insurance in general getting much higher? Or would this increase be due to a wreck I had in January? (It was totally not my fault, but the guy who hit me wasn't insured.) p.s. If it makes a difference, I use progressive insurance. I spent over a month calling around - they had the best offer for me last year. But now I guess it's time to see what else is out there.""

What is the cheapest affordable insurance for an 18 year old male?

Alright so I am 18, I live at home, and I need to pay for my own insurance. I go to high school full time, I have good grades and I have taken drivers ed. I work 30 + Hours a week and make about 800 per month. I have about $6000 saved up to but a car plus insurance, I have found a 2005 KIA rio for $3500. I already have tags to put. My parents are very poor, both receive social security, and I am the youngest of five. Is there any possible way I could get insurance for $300 a month minimal coverage. If anyone has any ideas, or advice please let me know. Thank You""

How much approx. to insure 1100cc for 7 days?

Any help on this question will be appreciated. I'm only looking for an approximation as I've no idea what the general insurance rates are for short term car insurance. Insurance would only need be 3rd part fire and theft. Would it cost me 10, 50 a 100 pounds, I've no idea. Again any help appreciated. Thanks.""

Home contents insurance?

im looking for an all in one contents insurance. which will cover mechancal breakdown of white goiods, tvs etc... as i recenetly found out the isurance i have got only covers incase of flooding, fire and theft. not when my cooker blew up. please help, as im new to having my own flat and nver had to do things like this before""

Suggestions for car insurance?

I have preferred insurance and have been paying by the year for over 5 years with this company, with no claims in over 10 years. They have raised the entire states rates, and I'm not staying with them. Any suggestions? Any reviews on that little green lizard insurance company?""

Is Mercedes expensive to maintain?

im 18 just got myself first car 05 c320 4matic. my parents are paying for gas and insurance which is 350$ a month but i will pay for the car payments with a part time job and maybe repairs do you think it will be too much for me?

How much is motorcycle insurance in california?

Im 19 years and im planning on buying a 2012 yamaha r6 as my first bike (no experience) I am going to take a MSF course. Anyways how much would motorcycle insurance cost me?

Has anyone tried the Ameriprise Auto insurance? How do you rate their service compared to other insurance co?

They have a tie-up with Costco and offers a very good rate compared to AAA, Farmers, etc. I signed up with esurance who has a excellent rate but after 6 months, they are raising the premium by more than 30%. A feedback or review on Ameriprise will aid me in decision making. Thanks!""

""I don't have health insurance, should I get AFLAC?

My company sent an AFLAC representative to us today. I heard it was supplemental health insurance and it costs $35/month for accidents and sickness. I don't have any insurance at ...show more

For a 19 yr old what is the best and cheap insurance in los Angeles?

I live in los angeles and the car insurance companies wants me to pay 300.00 dollars every month and thats to much for me.

Will my insurance go up?

I got two speeding tickets not to long ago, they where 145 dollars each. On both of the tickets i was going 75 mph and speed limit was 60 mph. I already paid for the both tickets, they got reduced by 45 dollars each ticket. I was wondering by how much will my insurance go up and when does it go up. Its my dad insurance and he has my car on his insurance. Will the insurance go up only on my car or both of the cars on same insurance and is there any way you can take those tickets of the record. Like traffic schools..""

Is it OK for someone else to do car insurance for me?

Basically, will it be fine (in legal terms) for someone else, a friend - to make car insurance on my behalf because I might be busy?? really important!! (im sorry about the tedium of this question)""

Do foster kids get health insurance? Any insurance?

suppose a adoptive kid w/ parents w/no health insurance. the adoption gets dissrupted and now they live in a foster home.

I just got an expired registration and no insurance ticket.?

I just found out my registration expired back in Oct of 2008. I don't pay insurance because it is a scam, they don't help you when you need it, and they hike your rates when you claim something even though that is what you pay them for in the 1st place. But I had 2 stickers on my car. One that said November 11. and one that said October 08. So I thought that the newest sticker meant that is when the experation was. But the officer said November is the 11th. I am like yes, but why would they write the number down when you can read it right there? That means 2011. On top of this, I never got a notice from my dmv. so now I have to go to court over this miss undestanding and I can't help but feel I just got cheated by the police and the DMV because they failed to properly lable their sticker and failed to give me a notice. I checked my tags just a month ago in fact which is why I knew it expired in 2011 but the officer just refuses to see it as a miss understanding. Is there a legal service I can go through to get this ticket written off as a zero considering the fact I pretty much just got screwed due to the way the laws don't actually protect the innocent?""

Car Insurance?

I am just about to get my license. My parents want me to have my own insurance policy; and I was wondering if anyone knows of a good company to go with. Something with good coverage, but relatively cheap; I only have a part time job. I am under 18 so I know that will influence a lot of how much it costs me and etc. Any input on this is greatly appreciated.""

Free Auto Insurance Quotes At What Website?

I have been looking for a site that gives Free Auto Insurance Quotes, everywhere I have found wants to charge me or run my credit. Can anyone help me? All I want is a Free Auto Insurance Quote is that to hard to find?""

Does planned parent hood accept health insurance?

does Planned parent hood accept health insurance ? if they do does anyone know if they will accept aetna health insurance?

My car stolen and insurance company is delaying claim?

My car was stolen at my school, after calling the police and everything. I was asking people at school for a ride home one girl told me she was busy and asked her friend to drive me he agreed. When I notified my insurance, he asked for a recorded statement which I gave. Then he wanted the name and contact numbers of the two people I asked for a ride a home. Which took a while to get yet i still got them a gave them to the guy. After they contact the adjuster, I called to try to see whats going on with this claim because its been over 30 days and I am trying to replace my stolen car. He says there are some difference in the three statements he recieved and he has to file some notes and contact me later. I later called the other two people and asked what did they say and to me it seemed the same just in different person view and they also told me they did not remember alot...Can these people cost me my claim? I cooperated and did everything..How long can this take? What else does he need""

What is the best insurance for a pregnant woman?

So I got a girl pregnant. We are not married. I have a good job making plenty of money but do not have benefits. She does not have benefits or make enough to afford health insurance. What is the best route for us to take to make sure we have the best care for her and the baby during pregnancy and after birth?

Average teen male's car insurance cost?

I'm 18 years old, I'm a male and i would like to get a car insurance by myself. I know you need more information, but i just want an estimate. I don't have a car yet, but I'm planning on buying a used car. I have straight A's so i would be able to qualify for the discount""

Help! Urgent! Holiday! Health insurance?

I go on holiday tomorrow and just noticed my health insurance card has expired can i still go on holiday?

How much will teen car insurance cost?

Okay so I'm getting my license soon. How much will my insurance be approx

Cheapest way to get car insurance!?

I recently just passed my driving test and a know car insurance isnt cheap. The cheapest i have been quoted is a little under 5000 on a 1.2 Vauxhal Corsa. I know there is a way if you make one of your parents the main driver on your car and you are a named driver but by doing that its illegal (if you are really the main driver) and if you crash they will not cover you. Is there any other way which isnt illegal to get cheap insurance!? Even anything under 3000 would be defined as cheap for me!

Whats the cheapest non-owners...?

Car insurance?

Would anybody please tell me what do I have to do to become a car insurance broker?

I am interested in car insurance industry and would like to become an insurance broker. I don't know the course or the line to follow.

cheap va car insurance quote

cheap va car insurance quote

Difference between comprehensive and third party insurance?

hi all. What is the difference between comprehensive insure for your car, and third party insurance for your car. please help. and thankyou in advance (:""

On average how much more would the cost be for insurance for a house with a pool?

We are thinking about buying a home in So Cal that is a 4 +2 house on a 10,000 sq ft lot. The house has a pool though, and our concern would be what the cost of insurance would be. The pool is deep, and there is no diving board, and at the present time there is no fence. What do you all think? We have small children, so once we purchase the home, we will put a fence up, but we're just trying to guesstimate at this point. If anyone has any thoughts, by all means share them! I really appreciate any direction I can get with this. *I would rather not call 50 Insurance agencies to get quotes and have someone selling something I don't need yet!* Thanks a bunch.""

Whats some good cheap car insurance?

I have full coverage on my car and its costing me a butt load of money, i have state farm. Does anyone know of any good insurance companies?""

Insurance...?

I'm wondering... Is there an insurance company that will allow you and your partner on the same plan? Or do you have to live in a state that recognizes domestic partnerships?

Were can i get cheap car insurance in the central florida area?

Were can i get cheap car insurance in the central florida area?

Universal life insurance as a savings plan?? Is that a good idea?

Ameriprise Financial is sellign me 400k life insurance policy that costs 200 per month. They say its like a savings plan because I can access 90% of the 200 per month at any time. Is this a good idea or a scam??

My daughters car insurance has more than doubled because she got 9 penalty points in the last year. she wants ?

me to get insurance on her car and then get her put on that insurance. if she gets more points while she is under my insurance would that affect the price of the insurance on my own cars or would only if she caused an accident make my insurance go up. i could get a years insurance on her car for less than the price of 1 monthly installment she would have to pay for her own insurance. what do you think. if she gets 3 more points she will be disqualified from driving . if that happened while she was on my insurance would that put my insurance prices up even though she would be off my insurance if she did get disqualified. what i have wrote might not make sense. i want to know if i do this for her and she gets disqualified while being on my insurance would that put my insurance prices up for all my cars or what or would it only effect my insurance if she causes an accident. while shes on my insurance. * 41 minutes ago * - 3 days left to answer. Additional Details 40 minutes ago we live in the UK. sorry this is very long i found it hard to write what i was really trying to ask. 33 minutes ago i know if she causes an accident while she is on my insurance ot would effect how much my insurance costs but if she was to get disqualified while she is on my insurance would that effect me inurances oin anyway. if she gets disqualified then she wont be on my insurance anymore. 14 minutes ago only 3 of her penalty points are for speeding. she told me the other 6 points are because there was a mix up with her insurance last time and she was uninured for 4 days and was caught by the police. she got 6 points for that in court a few months ago. she said she that she had phoned them and accepted the policy they sent her to renew it and thought it would continue automatically but she hadnt been to the office to sign for it so she got caught for that. she was only uninsured for 4 days because of her mistake that time. sorry if you already answerd this but i put it on US yahoo answers by a mistake and it didnt show up in UK yahoo answers so i needed answers from people who knows about car insurance in the UK

Who do you have for car insurance? open!?

looking for a cheap car insurance, buut not to cheap were if i get into a car crash they'd give me 10 cents. any suggestions?""

How much do footballers pay for car insurance?

just wondered cos Wayne Rooney Keeps spinning and having prangs, given his age, and the value of cars involved how much does he have to pay in premiums? I'm in no doubt he can afford it, but just wondered how much premiums would be.""

Help me find affordable health insurance in ny state if i am not poverty level?

Help me find affordable health insurance in ny state if i am not poverty level?

Insurance on a car that you do not own yourself?

Im 17 years old. My grandma will buy me a car. But she doesn't want me on her insurance, so she said i had to wait til i was 18 til she would buy it. I was wondering if it's possible for my mom to put insurance on the car for me, if she's not that one that own's it. She can't on it for medicaid reasons. Thanks.""

What should I do about my 19 year old sons car insurance?

I have a son who is nearly 19 years old. He may be putting in for his test soon. The problem is I am worried about the cost of car insurance. He is nagging me to go on my insurance but I don't really like that idea because I am worried if he has an accident I will lose my no claims and my insurance will go up considerably. The other option is that I buy him a really cheap car with a small engion, but only cover third party. That way he can build up his own no claims. I was wondering if anyone knows how much he would be expected to pay if he decided to do this?""

Do I need to pay for insurance when I have my temps in Ohio?

My mom has insurance on her car, but I wanted to know do I have to pay for separate insurance for me?""

Scooter 50cc and 125cc insurance??

Can you please tell me how much insurance in Ireland would cost for a 16 year old boy don't say phone up the insurance company because i am just wondering how much it is thanks if you know I was looking at 125cc scooter which is insurance group 2 I was also looking at a 50cc scooter insurance group 1 Thanks for answering and please tell me your prices in euro thanks again.

How to find cheap car insurance?

i m tired of paying too much on auto insurance,insurance companies charging 900$per six month,i m loking for cheap car insurance""

How much will Mirena IUD cost without insurance?

I go to a local clinic and My copay is %75 of the bill . How lovely right lol , How much would the Mirena cost ?? any ball park figures would be great thanks!""

Nineteen and no insurance?

so i have a Q im 19 and i have no health insurance i live in chicago IL and i was wondering is their any help that i can receive from like the goverment that will offer my health insurance ??

Will third party car insurance compensate me if i don't have car insurance myself?

I do have car insurance that's for a start, but my insurance is threatening me that if i don't pay an extra premium to update my policy, they will cancel it. With that being said if the third party have already admitted liability will I still be compensated for my damage to my vehicle and injuries? The reason why they need to update my policy is because when I did the quote online I inputted the amount of cars in the household as 1 instead of 3 (my error) but upon going back to their website to retry the quote with 1 car vs 3 cars in the household, it turns out cheaper to have 3 cars instead of the one so i cant understand why I would need to pay more to get something cheaper. Now I don't want to pay 200 to update my policy for the remaining time on my policy which is roughly a month;s time, if they do cancel my policy will the third party insurance still compensate me? Thanks in advance""

NY Full Coverage Insurance Rates?

How much is full coverage on any plan for a new driver?

Would it be better for our government to give everyone health insurance or?

Produce more health care resources by increasing funding for medical schools and work to flood the market in health care services thus making it more affordable for everyone?

Does it cost more to insure a house with a pool?

We are thinking of buying a house with a pool but we heard that it costs a lot for home owners insurance.Is that true? How much more compared to a home without one (approximately). Thanks

Who are the best insurance companies for young drivers?

Who are the best insurance companies (in terms of low prices) for young drivers?

The cheapest auto insurance in southern california?

The cheapest auto insurance in southern california?

I have Kansas Progressive Auto insurance. Will my insurance drop when I turn 25? And if so approx how much?

Any answers pertaining to age 25 &/or the state of KS is helpful. I can't find anything on Progressive relating to age & insurance rates. Thanks!

Boost Mobile Insurance?

I bought a galaxy prevail android phone, through boost mobile, about 1 1/2 months ago. at the time that I bought it, I did not purchase the insurance thinking that I'd get the money for that and get it later. Now I want to buy it, but when I went on their website I couldn't figure out how to do it and from how it looked, I could only get the insurance throughout a limited time after I bought my phone. So my question is; Can I get insurance on this phone right now or am I outta luck because I didn't get it earlier? ??? Please & thank yewws :)""

cheap va car insurance quote

cheap va car insurance quote

I haven't received my national insurance?

I'm 16, going to turn 17 this year. I am from Bolivia (south america) I have live in the UK for 7 years and I don't received any benefits ... I haven't received my national insurance and i don't know why if any one knows why or how i can get? then please tell me thank you""

""Classic Car Insurance, 17 years old, unlimited miles?

Im 17 and have a classic vehicle (1986) are there any insurance companies that has a classic insurance plan for a 17 year old with unlimited miles? I live in New York

Car recommendations for college student?

Working my way up to buy a car in the next few months, so I'm starting my search now. Keep these points in mind: -Affordable for purchase -Lower insurance rates -Good gas mileage -Something that's got some zip to it (sporty) I'm mostly looking at sedans, coupes, and hatchbacks and avoiding the SUV's and trucks. Any tips?""

Where's the cheapest car insurance for a 17 year old?

Hi, Recently I bought myself a Vauxhall Corsa SXI 2003, and have been looking around for car insurance. It seems that everyone thinks that car insurance costs around 3000 for a new young male driver, however the cheapest quote I seem to get is about 5000-8000. I've tried every insurance comparison site under the sun, and looked at so many companies direct. The cheaper quote is just over 4000, but that involves the little black box to be installed. I'm not complaining about this as I would drive sensibly and have nothing to hide, but it is still so steep. I can't afford these prices for a 1500 car. Anyone have any ideas? It feels so unfair that I haven't even been given the chance to show that I won't abuse driving... *I've tried putting my parents as second drivers, no luck. Also, the model of my car doesn't affect it as I get the same quotes for a 1997 Ford Fiesta...*""

Anyone know of cheap health insurance?

I am always in the ER but I have no insurance so I would really want to stop paying those expensive bills...

What is a cheap insurance for San Antonio? We have a 2006 GT Mustang that Esurance wants to charge us 500 some

dollars for EVERY MONTH and that is WAY too much!

Which life insurance companies pay for death by suicide?

I'm 27 and live in New York.

Dental Insurance Question - The Real Scoop?

While I am employed, I work at home for a company in another state, and the dental insurance options through my company were not viable. So, of course, I relied on the internet to research my options, and I looked, specifically, for dental insurance Lo and Behold, the stuff that came up, was for Dental Discount Plans. Upon first glance, it seemed like this could actually have been a better deal then anything offered through my firm. The conversation on the websites touted these plans, often with premiums of $7 to $20 per month, to be better than conventional dental insurance in every imaginable way. No issues in applying, no maximums, no deductibles, and no waiting. So, I am sitting here, reading how in EVERY possible way this is better than insurance, and it strikes me. If something seems to good to be true, maybe it is. If these were so much better than conventional insurance, why did my firm have so much trouble finding affordable insurance; they should have simply joined one of these discount programs. Well, the site even attached me to an independent article which BASHED the conventional insurance...Then it struck me...If I was a dentist, would I be happy joining these discount plans and basically getting 50% to 75% less for my services. Yeah Yeah, I am getting my payment up front and not waiting for the insurance to pay me (again, playing the role of the dentist), but is that worth the tremendously discounted amount (does not make sense when you compare the time value of money). So, I realized that if I were a dentist, I would not want anything to do with these plans...Or would I? Does being a part of these discount programs really bring in enough clients to justify that deep a cut in the fee schedule. Then I started to think...Is it possible that there is something up with these deeply discounted fee schedules I keep seeing on these sites? Are the fees just being jacked up and then discounted back down to the point where I might as well not be a member of the Discount Program, and just a regular walk in? Can I go to a dentist and ask them for the fee schedule, and then after the fact, compare it to the discount program to see that I am really getting a discount, and it is not some number playing farce. I would want to know as a dentist whether these discount programs are worth anything. I need some kind of coverage, and for the few self insurance programs I see, the monthly premiums are incredibly high, and yes, when compared to the discount programs, it seems like NO ONE would EVER join these insurance programs since they are more limited and more expensive...Yet....They are still in the insurance business. Will someone please give me the scoop...I need to have an affordable option here, but don't want to be duped into joining one of these discount programs. Thank You""

Cheapest car insurance for new drivers?

Co-op seem to be the cheapest i can find at the moment, i am going on my dads name because we are both going to drive it and he has like 11 year no claims, so far co-op seem the best (coop seem to go by the age of the car) the older the cheaper, im looking to insure either a fiesta a clio or a corsa, something like that, could you from experience or just knowledge tell me which insurance is the cheapest, by the way im 17""

Do I need an insurance to register my car in North Carolina?

I live in Charlotte, North Carolina. I am gonna buy a used car from a private party and I am going to DMV tomorrow to register it. The DMV website says I need car insurance for registration. Can I get an insurance when technically I don't own the car? what do insurance companies need for getting a car insurance?""

What car dealers offer free insurance with their finance cars?

I am looking to get a car on finance with free insurance in the uk can anyone help or provide a link ? Thank you

""Mustang Insurance, Help!!!?""

Hello, I have a quick question about insurance. I am 18 years old, living in Orange, CA and currently driving a 2003 nissan altima that I am going to trade for a 2002 ford mustang gt. Now i know that contacting an agent will be the best way to find out more realistic rates, but right now I want to hear from past mustang owners. I was also wondering if having good credit will give me a discount on my insurance? I know insurance will be high, so don't waste my time explaining it to me, If it helps, I always obey the speed limit, never gotten into any crashes nor have I gotten any tickets. All Help is appreciated, thanks.""

How long on workers comp can you keep you health insurance from your work?

i mean like for things not related to my work injury? how long do they have to keep my job for me?

Is the general car insurance a good car insurance company?

i just recently started hearing about it and im looking for a cheap car insurance company but from the commercials it says like $40 or something i dont remember the exact price but its really cheap. i know it depends on where u live and the type of car u have etc, but i just want to know overall is it better for me to get than for example getting century 21, where the quote was $300 -.- (yes im young and have an audi) does anyone have it? is it safe to apply for? and some ppl actually think its a scam?""

I am 19 years old whats the cheapest car insurance for a old ford ranger wit a lot of miles on it ?

I am 19 years old whats the cheapest car insurance for a old ford ranger wit a lot of miles on it ?

How much is the average annual insurance for a mitsubishi evo?

How much is the average annual insurance for a mitsubishi evo?

No car insurance automatically suspends CA driver's license?

So apparently in CA, if you stop paying your car insurance (I had to), your vehicle registration is revoked and your license is suspended automatically, and you get a notice in the ...show more""

Surgery and insurance?

if my surgery is going to cost me $3,500..and i have a $5,000 dollar deductible on my insurance..then i can't use my insurance can i? =(.. pretty much i have to pay for the surgery..BUTTTT if my surgery was let's say about $7,000.. then that means insurance company would pay $5000 and i would pay the rest of $2000 rightttt???? sorry...i'm just trying to understand this and make sure""

How much would i pay for car insurance? Estimate?

I know that it depends on a lot of factors but can you estimate how much i would pay for car insurance on a monthly basis - I am 18 years old - will be driving either a 1999 or 2000 model - will be attending college after the summer - clear background - this will be my first car - I live in a very wired and exotic place called MARYLAND

Why does / or should my Car insurance RISE?

Since I have changed my car insurance co, my insurance rates had dropped... only in small amounts - but they have dropped over the past few periods. Suddenly, my rates RISE! =:-o I have had no tickets, no accidents, no reason on my record leaning toward any reason to rise my insurance costs. - I am calling my agent, tomorrow to ask about this. Should I expect the reply to be all insurance rates rise... there is no avoiding it! or how should I design AN ANSWER to this issue to develop a $aving reply?""

Can I my Dad's car without being on his insurance?

I am a 17yr old student living with my parents and i have just passed my driving test. Everyone keeps saying i can drive my Dad's car once he is in the passenger seat, but i am not sure. My dad has insurance on his car, but i am not a named driver. So can i drive my dad's car if he his in the passenger seat, without being named on his policy.""

How to reduce the price of your insurance for a 18 year old? (in the UK)?

Hey, i just wanted to know if anyone knew ways to reduce the price. At the moment i know some insurance companies reduce the price if you have done something called pass plus Also adding a parent onto YOUR policy can also reduce the cost (not the other way round, that's illegal if you drive it more then they do!) Thanks, i only want a Ford Fiesta, but insurance is looking at 1500+!""

Driver Education/Insurance Rate Information?

For my Driver Education class, one of the assignments goes as follows: Call a local vehicle insurance company and ask if you can take a few minutes to ask some questions. Ask what the insurance rates will be for you when you are ready to drive. Also, ask what the rates would be for someone your age who is not taking any driver education classes. What will the rates be when you are 25 years old? What are they for a person without driver education? What are they for someone convicted of driving while intoxicated? If anyone could spare me the phone call, it would be greatly appreciated.""

Is $40.00 a month cheap for Full Coverage Insurance 2012 Kawasaki Ninja 250?

Is $40.00 a month cheap for Full Coverage Insurance 2012 Kawasaki Ninja 250?

Is it worth getting motorcycle insurance?

Im about to buy a Drz400sm with a loan. I like to know snice I have a loan should I get insurance coverage on it and what type of coverage like theft for sure im getting it if I do buy insurance. What other coverage should I get for it. I just turn 18 with a super clean driving history and Im planning to take a motorcycle safety course so how much will you believe insurance will coast me on the drz400sm. What are some cheap insurance companies too by the way?

cheap va car insurance quote

cheap va car insurance quote

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/moline-illinois-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-61265-linda-chipman/"

[themoneybuff-blog]

How to find your purpose in life: 12 powerful exercises to help you discover purpose and passion

Shares 298 Happy blogiversary! Twelve years ago today, I launched a humble little blog about personal finance this blog, Get Rich Slowly. It was meant as a way for me to share the things I was learning as I dug out of debt. It turned into so much more. For the next couple of weeks, Im on the road in the southeastern U.S., speaking to people about personal finance and meeting with readers. This morning, for instance, I spoke to the 76 people attending Camp FI in Spring Grove, Virginia. My topic? No surprise: The importance of having purpose in your life. As you can see, I am a PowerPoint genius

If youve spent any time reading my material, you know that I believe purpose is the foundation on which all plans financial and otherwise ought to be built. Purpose is a compass. It helps you set big goals, sure, but it also acts as a guide when times get tough. Your mother died? Your wife left? Your husband lost his job? If you know what your primary purpose is in life, these stressful events are much easier to deal with. For this presentation, I added a new twist. You see, a lot of folks who are interested in money tend to pick things like getting out of debt and becoming financially independent as their purpose or mission. But I think these are poor choices. Ive seen far too many folks make debt elimination a goal then fall right back into debt once theyve achieved it. And there are plenty of people who reach FI (or retire early) only to find they no longer know what to do. (Its like aiming to reach a certain weight instead of choosing to make lasting lifestyle changes that lead to weight reduction.) Instead, I think its important to recognize that your financial situation should be side effect of pursuing some greater purpose. Financial independence ought not be your aim; its merely a means to an end. When I speak about purpose (which is often), I tend to fall back to the George Kinder/Alan Lakein personal mission statement exercise. I feel like its one of the best available tools for helping people find focus. But its not the only tool. Today, to celebrate this sites twelfth birthday, I want to present twelve alternative exercises for discovering your purpose and passion. If youve tried one (or more) of these without success, try another. One of them is sure to be useful for you. Note: Ive done my best to credit sources for these exercises. (Many come from Barbara Shers excellent book Wishcraft, which is all about crafting the life you really want.) At the end of this article, Ill give you a list of recommended reading and tell you what I think is the single best book for discovering passion and purpose. Your One-Hundred Word Philosophy The first exercise is one I created myself. Its based on CrossFits world-class fitness in 100 words statement. Theres no time limit for this exercise, but it could take a while so be prepared. Your aim is to write out your life philosophy in exactly one hundred words no more and no less. This can take any form you want, from a statement of values to a list of instructions. Begin by writing down your core beliefs and values. It might also be helpful to think about books that have had a big impact on your life or powerful advice youve received in the past. Based on your experience and beliefs, what is your life philosophy? As an example, heres my own hundred-word philosophy, which Ive written as instructions to myself:

Some of those admonitions are my own invention. Some come from books like The Four Agreements and The Power of Now. Refuse to let fear guide your decision-making process, was advice from my girlfriend. Create your own luck is based on my friend Michelles advice to create your own certainty. Again: Target one hundred words exactly. Itll force you to spend time thinking and editing and being introspective. As you can see, I paid an artist friend to create a pretty letterpress poster of my 100-word philosophy, which Ive hung on the wall here at home. I look at it every day. Obviously, you dont have to go that far. Your Original Self This next exercise, which comes from Barbara Shers Wishcraft, sounds hokey at first. Turns out, however, that its a lot of fun to complete. Heres how it works. Set aside about half an hour for quiet contemplation. (Theres no writing involved in this exercise only thinking.) Let your mind wander back to your childhood. Remember what you used to do to have fun especially those times you especially treasured. When you were allowed to daydream or do whatever you wanted, what did you choose to do? Try to answer these questions: What sorts of things attracted and fascinated you when you were a kid?What sense smell, sight, hearing, taste, touch did you live through most? Or did you enjoy them all equally? What kinds of sensory experiences do you remember best?What did you love to do (or daydream about), no matter how silly or unimportant it might seem now? Did you have secret aspirations and fantasies that you never told anyone about? After thirty minutes of unstructured reverie, ask yourself a couple of questions. First, do you feel like theres a part of you that still loves the things you loved as a child? What do you miss most? Next, ask yourself what talents or abilities these childhood dreams and passions might point to in the present. What can you do today to reconnect with some of who you were as a kid? As I mentioned, I enjoyed this exercise. Although you dont have to, I wrote down what I liked as a kid: When I was a kid, I loved the outdoors. I loved to run and play outside. We lived in a small trailer house but were surrounded by acres and acres of land. We had freedom to romp across the fields, explore the nearby woods and orchards, and to browse the banks of the creeks. My favorite family vacations were those that involved camping. (Unfortunately, there werent many.) I loved looking at the insects and the plants. I liked digging in the dirt. I liked finding bones and rocks and shards of glass. I enjoyed playing games outside tag, dirt clod fights, whatever. I especially liked building forts. I liked going down to the big tree and hanging out under its branches. Yes, theres still a part of me that loves this sort of thing. I think thats one of the reasons Ive come to treasure the morning walks with the dog. Its an opportunity for me to explore the same stretch of ground over and over and over again. I truly enjoy watching how the woods and fields change a little every day. And thats probably one of the big reasons I enjoyed the RV trip. It forced me to connect to the world outside in a big way. What talents and abilities might this interest point to? Im not sure really. Who Do You Think You Are? This activity is short but effective. On a blank piece of paper, spend 5-10 minutes answering the question: Who do you think you are? How would you describe yourself to a total stranger? Be objective. What are most important characteristics that define your identity? There arent any right or wrong answers here, and theres only one rule: Dont overthink this. Put down the first and surest answers that come into your head, the ones that make you say, This is me. [This exercise also comes from Wishcraft.] Focus on Five Well explore the next exercise in greater depth next week when I write about goals. Youll find a version of this in nearly every book on productivity or positive psychology. This version is taken from Angela Duckworths Grit (which in turn borrowed it from billionaire Warren Buffett, who may have taken it from Alan Lakein). Heres how it works: Write down a list of your top twenty-five goals (or more). This might seem impossible at first, but give it a try. List all of the projects youre currently working on, both at home and at work. List all of the things you want to do but feel like theres no time. List at least twenty-five. More is beter.Next, review your list. Which goals are most appealing? Do some soul-searching it doesnt matter how and narrow the list to the five highest-priority objectives. Just five. Circle them (or copy them to another piece of paper).Lastly, look at the goals you didnt circle. These you avoid at all costs, writes Duckworth. Theyre what distract you; they eat away time and energy, taking your eyes from the goals that matter more. Harsh but true. If you need help prioritizing your goals it can be tough to sort through so many! rate each one on a scale of 1 to 10 based both on how interesting it is and how important it is. Then multiply those numbers together. For instance, if one of your goals has an interest rating of 9 (very interesting) and an importance rating of 3 (not that important), its score would be 27. Compare the scores. Higher is better. Duckworth says that she would add a fourth step to Buffetts exercise. Ask yourself: To what extent do these goals serve a common purpose? The more closely aligned your top five goals are, the better youll be able to focus on your passion (or purpose). When I write about goals next week, Ill ask you to do a different version of this exercise drawn from Sonja Lyubomirskys The How of Happiness. A Letter to the Future Heres another exercise thats common in self-help manuals. Youre going to contemplate and describe the personal legacy youd like to leave in this world. Think about how you want to be remembered by your grandchildren or great-grandchildren. (If youre childless like me, youll have to pretend.) In the form of a first-person letter, write a summary of your life, values, and accomplishments as youd like them known to your descendants. Pretend like youre near the end of your life and want to share the greatest hits version of your personal story for posterity. One common way to approach this is to pretend youre writing your own obituary. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey offers the following variation: In your minds eye, see yourself going to the funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlor or chapel, parking the car, and getting out. As you walk inside the building, you notice the flowers, the soft organ music. You see the faces of friends and family you pass along the way. You feel the shared sorrow of losing, the joy of having known, that radiates from the hearts of the people there. As you walk down to the front of the room and look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral, three years from today. All these people have come to honor you, to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life. As you take a seat and wait for the services to begin, you look at the program in your hand. There are to be four speakers. The first is from your family, immediate and also extended children, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents who have come from all over the country to attend. The second speaker is one of your friends, someone who can give a sense of what you were as a person. The third speaker is from your work or profession. And the fourth is from your church or some community organization where youve been involved in service. Now think deeply. What would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? What kind of husband, wife, father, or mother would you like their words to reflect? What kind of son or daughter or cousin? What kind of friend? What kind of working associate? What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements would you want them to remember? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives? Make no mistake: This can be a powerful exercise. Tear-inducing, even. Thats okay. By thinking about how youd like people to remember you in the future, after youre gone, you can take steps to align your present self and actions with that ideal vision. 20 Things You Like to Do Heres another exercise from Barbara Shers Wishcraft. She says she borrowed it from Sid Simons Values Clarification. To begin, list twenty things you like to do. You must come up with twenty. Thats the only rule. Dont cop out and make a list of four things you like to do. Or twelve. List at least twenty. (You can write down more, if you like.) Now youre going to make a chart. Take a fresh piece of paper. Down the left side of the page, in the first column of the chart, copy your list of twenty things you like to do. (The order is completely unimportant.) Now, across the top of the page create 8-10 columns. Label them like this (you might have to write tiny): How long since you last did this activity? Free or costs money? Alone or with somebody? Planned or spontaneous? Job related? Physical risk? Fast-paced or slow-paced? Mind, body, or spiritual? Feel free to add other categories that occur to you. (At home or in the world? Spouse likes also? Enjoyed a decade ago? Whatever. Its your list.) Now go through your chart and fill it out for each of your interests. What patterns emerge? What do these patterns tell you about your self and life? To illustrate what this chart ought to look like, I did the exercise myself. It was enlightening. And it took me longer to complete than I expected. I could come up with sixteen things I like to do, but expanding the list to twenty was tough. Heres a screenshot of my list. (Because Im a nerd, I used a spreadsheet instead of a piece of paper.)

Kind of sad (and hilarious) to note that this list is in the order I thought of things. So, that means computer games came to mind as something that I like to do before sex did. Yikes! Looking at my list, it seems like I do a pretty good job of doing the things I like to do. Not perfect but good. Theres also a good balance of free activities vs. activities that cost money, and an even divide between social and alone time. But its clear that most of the things I like to do are spontaneous, not work-related, mental, and most of all slow. The only activity on my list thats truly adrenaline-inducing is riding my motorcycle. Who Do You Want to Be? This exercise is based on a conversation I had with my friend Tyler Tervooren. On a blank piece of paper, make a list of qualities and habits youd like to develop. Do you want to ride your bicycle every morning? Do you want to be more patient with your children? Do you want to be more helpful to your co-workers? Do you want to read the Bible every day? Do you want to drink less alcohol? It doesnt matter what order you write these in. Take as long as you need to make your list. When youve finished, reframe each item using the following format: I am the kind of man who [blank] where [blank] is the habit or quality youre trying to develop. (And obviously, if youre a woman please reframe each of these as I am the sort of woman who [blank].) For example, if you wrote down that youd like to get in the habit of waking 10,000 steps every day, you might reframe that as: I am the kind of woman who walks 10,000 steps every day. Or, better: I am the kind of woman who walks everywhere she can. If one of your aims is to talk less about yourself and pay more attention to others, you might write: I am the kind of man who listens first and talks second. Im genuinely interested in what others have to say. Now copy each of these sentences onto an index card one for each habit. Place these index cards by your bedside. Every morning when you wake up, train yourself to look at these cards first thing. Read through all of them to remind yourself of the habits and qualities youd like to develop. Finally, choose one to make your focus for that day. Keep it in mind as you go about your normal routine, and do your best to live up to the affirmation. Tyler says this habit helped him make real and lasting changes to his life. He built new habits to replace some of the tendencies that had been giving him trouble.

Who You Might Have Been Imagine you grew up with all of the resources financial, emotional, educational you could have possibly wanted or needed. Your interests were encouraged and fostered. You had help and encouragement in all that you did. You werent limited by time or money or location. In a perfect world, what do you think you would be doing now? What would you already have done? What kind of person would you be? Think big. Be as extravagant and far-fetched as youd like. Whats the one big dream you would have pursued if everything had gone your way? If you really would have wanted to become President, then say youd be President. If you would have become a movie star, say youd be a movie star. Dont hold back. Let your imagination fly free in whatever direction it desires. Dont pull any punches. Answer truthfully. Describe what this ideal life might look like. [This exercise also comes from Wishcraft.] The Ideal Schedule In David James Duncans The River Why, Gus, the main character, decides at a young age that in an ideal world he would fish 14-1/2 hours per day. Hes still in high school when he formulates the following plan: The Ideal 24-Hour Schedule sleep: 6 hoursfood consumption: 30 min. (between casts or while plunking, if possible)school: 0 hours!bath, stool, etc.: 15 min. (unavoidable)housework and miscellaneous chores: 30 min. (yards unnecessary; dust not unhealthy; utilitarian neatness easily accomplished)nonangling conversation: 0 hrs.transportation: 45 min. (live on good fishing river)gear maintenance/fly-tying/rod-building/log-keeping, etc.: 1 hr. 30 min.fishing time: 14-1/2 hrs. per day! Then, in true money boss fashion, Gus brainstorms ways he can pursue his purpose: Ways to Actualize Ideal Schedule finish school; no college!move alone to year-round stream (preferably coastal)avoid friendships, anglers not excepted (wastes time with gabbing)experiment with caffeine, nicotine, to eliminate excess sleepdo all driving, shopping, gear preparation, research, etc. after dark, saving daylight for fishing only Result (allowing for unforeseeable interruptions): 4,000 actual fishing hrs. per year!!! I love it. (And I intend to use this example in future talks, so be prepared.) Gus knows his purpose and by brainstorming his ideal schedule, hes able to figure out ways to put this dream into action. In Wishcraft, Barbara Sher suggests a similar exercise. Heres how it works. Grab paper and pen. Seclude yourself somewhere quiet. Close your eyes. Imagine your ideal day. Imagine a day that would be perfect if it represented your usual days not a vacation day. Just a regular, average day if your schedule were ideal. Spend a few minutes visualizing what such a day would look and feel like. Once your ideal schedule begins to become clear, write down what its like in the present tense and in detail from getting up in the morning to going to sleep at night. I might say, for instance: I wake up at 5:30 already in my gym clothes. I grab a piece of fruit, hop on my bike, and ride to the gym. I do an hour of Crossfit. I ride home, grab the dog, and take her for a walk. When we get back to the house at around 8:30, I spend four hours writing about money. And so on. As you write about your ideal day, think about the following: Whats the first thing you do when you wake up? What do you have for breakfast? Do you make it yourself or does somebody bring it to you? Do you take a long, hot bath? Or do you take a cold, bracing shower? What clothes do you wear? How do you spend your morning? How do you spend your afternoon? How do you spend your evenning? At each time of the day, are you indoors or outdoors? Quiet or active? With people or alone? As you envision your ideal schedule, focus on what, where, and who. What are you doing? What kind of work? What kind of play? Dont limit yourself. If youd like to sing or sail but dont know how, in this fantasy you do know how.Where are you? What kind of place, space, and situation? Are you on a farm in rural England? In a New York office building? On a sailboat in the South Pacific? In a fully-equipped workshop? Again, youre not on vacation. Youre imagining a normal day but an ideal day. Where are you?Who are you with? Who do you work with? Who do you live with? Who do you talk with? Who do you sleep with? Maybe its the same people you work and sleep with already. Maybe its somebody else. Let your imagination go. Dont put down only what you think is possible put down the kind of day youd like to live if you had absolute freedom, unlimited means, and all the powers and skills youve ever wished for. Note: Before (or after) you complete the ideal day exercise, you might find it useful to figure out how you actually spend your time right now. For that, I suggest performing a week-long time inventory. On the advice of Paula Pant, I tracked my time last summer and it was very enlightening. It helped me see where I was frittering away my minutes and hours. For more info and instructions on doing a time inventory, visit Laura Vanderkams website where you can grab free downloadable PDF forms and spreadsheets to help track your time in fifteen-minute increments. What Color Are You? This exercise from Wishcraft is for the more right-brained artistic folks. You analytic engineer types might not like it. (On the other hand, it might be good for you to actually complete it!) Heres how it works. Choose a color that represents you. It might be your favorite color or it might not. It ought to be a color that, at this moment, feels like you. The best way to do this is to have an array of colors in front of you. If you have a box of crayons, go get it. If not, heres a page with a bunch of colors. Youre now going to role-play that color. You are going to pretend you are that color. Youre going to think like that color, speak like that color, act like that color. Take a sheet of paper. Write: I am red or I am orange or I am carnation blue. Do not say I like blue because or I think blue is. For the rest of this exercise, you are that color. Now, in a few sentences to a few paragraphs, describe what qualities you have as that color not as yourself. For instance: I am dark blue. Im quiet and deep like the ocean. Or: I am yellow. Im bright and cheerful, intelligent and warm. There are no right answers to this exercise. If youre black, be black! I think Suzanne Vegas Small Blue Thing is a great example of what you might do with this activity. [embedded content] What color am I? Im orange, of course. The 14-Word Description This exercise comes from my friend Amy Jo. Several years ago, she did a photo project in which she took portraits of people she knew. Before each session, she asked the subject: What are the fourteen words that best describe you? For our purposes, I want you to brainstorm as many words as possible to describe who you are. You should come up with a minimum of fourteen, but its better to brainstorm more. Dont ask others to describe you. Your aim here is to describe yourself. How do you see yourself? If you come up with more than fourteen words to describe yourself, narrow the list to only the fourteen that fit you best. Lastly, for each word write a short sentence that describes why you chose it. For instance, if one of your words was athletic, your descriptive sentence might be, I enjoy playing sports and being outdoors. Here are the fourteen words I chose to describe myself six years ago. (Theyre all still accurate.) Adventurous I love to try new things.Creative I love to make new things.Curious I love to learn new things.Evolving Im a different man today than I was yesterday.Independent I make and act on my own decisions.Intelligent I am smart.Playful I like to joke and jest.Positive I look on the bright side.Resourceful I search for ways to get things done.Sociable I enjoy the company of others.Tenacious I pursue my goals with vigor.Unguarded I share myself freely, and I accept the word of others.Versatile I am good at many things.Zealous Im passionate about my friends and hobbies. Heres one of the portraits from our 14-words photo shoot. I look so serious!

When I gave Amy Jo my list, she made an interesting observation. When adults do this exercise, their words are always positive, she told me. But when kids do it, they describe themselves using both positive and negative words. Its as if theyre more aware of their shortcomings or at least more willing to admit them. Three Questions about Life Planning Last of all, heres the exercise I use most often. The father of the life-planning movement, George Kinder, is a certified financial planner and the author of The Seven Stages of Money Maturity. To identify and clarify your direction in life, Kinder suggests thinking about three hypothetical situations: Imagine that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. How would you live your life? Would you change anything? What would you do with the money?Now imagine that you visit the doctor and she tells you that you have 5-10 years left to live. She says that you wont feel sick, but youll have no notice of the moment of your death. What would you do in the time you have left? Would you change your life? How?Finally, imagine your doctor shocks you with the news that you only have 24 hours left to live. If you only had a day remaining, what dreams would you leave unfulfilled? What would you wish you had finished? What would you wish you had done or been? What would you have missed? These questions which are based on the work of time-management guru Alan Lakein are powerful tools for figuring out what you want out of life. If you take the time to really ponder them and answer them honestly, they can help you clarify your personal values and set meaningful goals. Over the past five years, Ive shared this exercise with hundreds of people. Many who took it seriously have written to tell me it changed their lives. It changed my life too. Maybe itll change yours. Recommended Reading In this article, Ive done my best to credit sources. A couple of these exercises are my own the hundred-word exercise, for instance but most are not. Most are borrowed from books. But there are plenty of excellent books out there that can help you figure out what you want out of life even if they dont ask readers to fill out forms our meditate on whats important. Victor Frankls classic Mans Search for Meaning, for example, is a work that almost everyone refers to. Its a ground-breaking short book about how to find purpose even under the worst circumstances. But it doesnt contain any reader homework. Here then are a few of my favorite purpose-related books. You might like them too: To my mind, however, the best book on this subject is relatively new: Angela Duckworths Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. This was my favorite book of 2016. If I could make it required reading, I would. Its that good. Ive listend to the audio version nearly a dozen times (including yesterday during my 21-hour trip home from Florida). Grit is dense with information and ideas. Duckworth makes a convincing argument that passion and perseverance or, in Money Boss lingo, purpose and patience are the best predictors of success. If you can hone in on a single top-level purpose then doggedly pursue it, your life will be filled with meaning and happiness. Great stuff. I hope to publish a review of the book sometime soon. As I said at the start, your purpose is your compass. Its your mission. Its what gives your life direction and meaning. To support your purpose, however, youve got to set up a personal action plan built around a hierarchy of goals. Next week, Ill share some thoughts (and exercises) on how to set goals and structure life to pursue your purpose. How do you put your personal misson statement to use? Well talk about that in just a few days. In the meantime: Tell me about your purpose. What is it? Do you have a personal mission statement? Which of these exercises do you find effective? Are there others that are better? Shares 298 https://www.getrichslowly.org/finding-purpose/

[athena29stone]

How Parents and Teachers Can Teach Empathy and Empowerment in the Aftermath of Tragedy

Joe Mazza on episode 201 of the 10-Minute Teacher Podcast

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

Joe Mazza shares how parents can help students have empathy and become empowered changemakers in the face of tragedy. In this special show, we give tips to parents and teachers about things they can do this season to help kids serve others affected by a tragedy.

Today’s Sponsor: Bloomz is the tool I chose for parent/teacher communication. To find out why read www.coolcatteacher.com/bloomz or go to bloomz.com to get started setting up your school or classroom now! December and January are great months to roll out Bloomz with your parents, so you can start 2018 strong.

Listen Now

Listen to the show on iTunes or Stitcher

Stream by clicking here.

Below is an enhanced transcript, modified for your reading pleasure. All comments in the shaded green box are my own. For guests and hyperlinks to resources, scroll down.

***

Enhanced Transcript

How Parents Can Teach Empathy, Innovation, and Empowerment in the Aftermath of Tragedy

Link to show: www.coolcatteacher.com/e196 Date: Monday, November 27, 2017

Note to reader: This episode is a special episode. The portion with Joe Mazza has been transcribed below. The podcast has an additional 3 minutes from Vicki Davis with recommendations about how you can help children know how to help others affected by the tragedies of 2017 during the holiday season.

Vicki: So, Joe, you know, your child is going to remember many years from now, whenever facing another natural disaster, what you told her now. What do think that parents need to be telling their children now that matters and makes a difference for a lifetime?

Joe: I think Mr. Rogers’ words still ring true today, even though I’m in my forties, and I heard him speak when I was — you know, my son’s age. “Look for the helpers.” Identify where the help is coming from, how people are becoming heroes — not because of the fame and being recognized, but everyday common people can step up.

It doesn’t mean you have to have a disposable income to contribute here. Just writing a letter, just sending… I know that we’ve got tons of diapers left from when our babies were infants. I know diapers are a big need down there, so we’re boxing those up.

I think there’s also opportunities to say, “Hey, if a kid is like super high-tech and they’re really interested in — let’s say for example, drones — there’s a huge drone usage down in Houston, so they can identify where people might be stranded.

So I think we’re using lots of different technologies. I think Zello has been an app, and it’s a lot like Voxer. It’s a lot like a walkie-talkie, and people who have been looking for folks have been using that.

But I think that there’s a lot of low-hanging fruit for us to have conversations with kids and really center it in empathy, innovation, and empowerment. We really want to be empowering them to do something about it, whether that’s by themselves or with a friend or neighbor next door, with their class, with their school.

I just saw a master list of principals connecting with other principals in and around the Houston area to the rest of the country. So get out there, adopt a school in that area for the year, and make this more than just a one-shot deal.

How do you really invest in empathizing with a particular school or group of kids down south? Be with them, write them letters, help them recover from this as a team.

Vicki: We’ll include those links in the show notes, and i think the biggest thing I would urge, having been through it, is to remember. Don’t have the memory span of the media. (laughs) The media will move on long before those who were in this disaster.

Joe: Yeah! That’s a good point! I think we hit these really, really hard the second it happens, and then a couple months later you’re wondering, “I wonder how everything’s going out there?” Set reminders in your calendar — next week, next month, two months from now — to check back in. Keep those alive.

Vicki: Yeah. When we got hit with tornadoes, the disaster agency said, “Enjoy this two weeks, because everybody will forget about you then. It’ll be a new cycle.”

We just can’t forget, when people go through these things. They’re going to be living this for another year or two, and even longer, for the rest of their lives. We just have to encourage and be there for them, and help our kids remember that they have to remember.

Joe: Absolutely.

Vicki: So, teachers, this is a time to teach. Parents, it’s a time to teach, and it’s a time to talk. Kids need to talk, and we need to have these conversations and make that time.

Please don’t let the rush and the busy of your life cause you to forget these important conversations, and that kids are hurting and have questions, too. It’s just something that we need to take time to do.

Joe: If you’re a mom or a dad or a grandparent, any female or male role model for kids, if you’re saying things, if you’re donating, if you’re participating in some way, bring your kids with you. They need to see you in that element. Don’t just save it for when the kids are napping or when they’re at school. Make it a point to do things together as a family.

Let them see you role modeling. Your own response is hugely important. They see and soak up like a sponge everything we do. This is one of those really important life experiences where a lot of learning can happen, especially in the area of empathy at a young age.

Vicki: It sure can. I remember my oldest son, who’s now 22, helped me make sandwiches after some tornadoes hit my town. And he still remembers that, that we immediately sprung into action and made sandwiches for those who were hit.

So, we’ve had some wise advice from Joe Mazza. We’ll include information in the show notes so that you can follow him and all of the work that he does, helping all of us be better educators

Joe: Thanks, Vicki! It was great to talk to you today.

Listen to podcast episode for additional recommendations for how to help your students encourage others during this holiday season.

Transcribed by Kymberli Mulford

kymberlimulford@gmail.com

Joe Mazza, Bio as submitted

Former school principal, teacher, bilingual administrator, Dr. Joe Mazza spurs innovation across faculty, students, and alumni of the UPenn Mid-Career Doctoral Program in Educational Leadership. He is a frequent speaker, blogger, and podcaster both in the U.S. and internationally on family and community engagement, and brain-based online learning for students and adults. Mazza is a strong relationship builder committed to on-demand and online learning and ensuring students and adults at home and at school understand and harness the power of networks for learning. Mazza’s innovative work has been written about in fifteen books since 2005.

Blog: Dr. Joe Mazza

Twitter:@joe_mazza

Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a “sponsored podcast episode.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via cash payment, gift, or something else of value to include a reference to their product. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe will be good for my readers and are from companies I can recommend. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” This company has no impact on the editorial content of the show.

The post How Parents and Teachers Can Teach Empathy and Empowerment in the Aftermath of Tragedy appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

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How to find your purpose in life: 12 powerful exercises to help you discover purpose and passion

Shares 208 Happy blogiversary! Twelve years ago today, I launched a humble little blog about personal finance this blog, Get Rich Slowly. It was meant as a way for me to share the things I was learning as I dug out of debt. It turned into so much more. For the next couple of weeks, Im on the road in the southeastern U.S., speaking to people about personal finance and meeting with readers. This morning, for instance, I spoke to the 76 people attending Camp FI in Spring Grove, Virginia. My topic? No surprise: The importance of having purpose in your life. As you can see, I am a PowerPoint genius

If youve spent any time reading my material, you know that I believe purpose is the foundation on which all plans financial and otherwise ought to be built. Purpose is a compass. It helps you set big goals, sure, but it also acts as a guide when times get tough. Your mother died? Your wife left? Your husband lost his job? If you know what your primary purpose is in life, these stressful events are much easier to deal with. For this presentation, I added a new twist. You see, a lot of folks who are interested in money tend to pick things like getting out of debt and becoming financially independent as their purpose or mission. But I think these are poor choices. Ive seen far too many folks make debt elimination a goal then fall right back into debt once theyve achieved it. And there are plenty of people who reach FI (or retire early) only to find they no longer know what to do. (Its like aiming to reach a certain weight instead of choosing to make lasting lifestyle changes that lead to weight reduction.) Instead, I think its important to recognize that your financial situation should be side effect of pursuing some greater purpose. Financial independence ought not be your aim; its merely a means to an end. When I speak about purpose (which is often), I tend to fall back to the George Kinder/Alan Lakein personal mission statement exercise. I feel like its one of the best available tools for helping people find focus. But its not the only tool. Today, to celebrate this sites twelfth birthday, I want to present twelve alternative exercises for discovering your purpose and passion. If youve tried one (or more) of these without success, try another. One of them is sure to be useful for you. Note: Ive done my best to credit sources for these exercises. (Many come from Barbara Shers excellent book Wishcraft, which is all about crafting the life you really want.) At the end of this article, Ill give you a list of recommended reading and tell you what I think is the single best book for discovering passion and purpose. Your One-Hundred Word Philosophy The first exercise is one I created myself. Its based on CrossFits world-class fitness in 100 words statement. Theres no time limit for this exercise, but it could take a while so be prepared. Your aim is to write out your life philosophy in exactly one hundred words no more and no less. This can take any form you want, from a statement of values to a list of instructions. Begin by writing down your core beliefs and values. It might also be helpful to think about books that have had a big impact on your life or powerful advice youve received in the past. Based on your experience and beliefs, what is your life philosophy? As an example, heres my own hundred-word philosophy, which Ive written as instructions to myself:

Some of those admonitions are my own invention. Some come from books like The Four Agreements and The Power of Now. Refuse to let fear guide your decision-making process, was advice from my girlfriend. Create your own luck is based on my friend Michelles advice to create your own certainty. Again: Target one hundred words exactly. Itll force you to spend time thinking and editing and being introspective. As you can see, I paid an artist friend to create a pretty letterpress poster of my 100-word philosophy, which Ive hung on the wall here at home. I look at it every day. Obviously, you dont have to go that far. Your Original Self This next exercise, which comes from Barbara Shers Wishcraft, sounds hokey at first. Turns out, however, that its a lot of fun to complete. Heres how it works. Set aside about half an hour for quiet contemplation. (Theres no writing involved in this exercise only thinking.) Let your mind wander back to your childhood. Remember what you used to do to have fun especially those times you especially treasured. When you were allowed to daydream or do whatever you wanted, what did you choose to do? Try to answer these questions: What sorts of things attracted and fascinated you when you were a kid?What sense smell, sight, hearing, taste, touch did you live through most? Or did you enjoy them all equally? What kinds of sensory experiences do you remember best?What did you love to do (or daydream about), no matter how silly or unimportant it might seem now? Did you have secret aspirations and fantasies that you never told anyone about? After thirty minutes of unstructured reverie, ask yourself a couple of questions. First, do you feel like theres a part of you that still loves the things you loved as a child? What do you miss most? Next, ask yourself what talents or abilities these childhood dreams and passions might point to in the present. What can you do today to reconnect with some of who you were as a kid? As I mentioned, I enjoyed this exercise. Although you dont have to, I wrote down what I liked as a kid: When I was a kid, I loved the outdoors. I loved to run and play outside. We lived in a small trailer house but were surrounded by acres and acres of land. We had freedom to romp across the fields, explore the nearby woods and orchards, and to browse the banks of the creeks. My favorite family vacations were those that involved camping. (Unfortunately, there werent many.) I loved looking at the insects and the plants. I liked digging in the dirt. I liked finding bones and rocks and shards of glass. I enjoyed playing games outside tag, dirt clod fights, whatever. I especially liked building forts. I liked going down to the big tree and hanging out under its branches. Yes, theres still a part of me that loves this sort of thing. I think thats one of the reasons Ive come to treasure the morning walks with the dog. Its an opportunity for me to explore the same stretch of ground over and over and over again. I truly enjoy watching how the woods and fields change a little every day. And thats probably one of the big reasons I enjoyed the RV trip. It forced me to connect to the world outside in a big way. What talents and abilities might this interest point to? Im not sure really. Who Do You Think You Are? This activity is short but effective. On a blank piece of paper, spend 5-10 minutes answering the question: Who do you think you are? How would you describe yourself to a total stranger? Be objective. What are most important characteristics that define your identity? There arent any right or wrong answers here, and theres only one rule: Dont overthink this. Put down the first and surest answers that come into your head, the ones that make you say, This is me. [This exercise also comes from Wishcraft.] Focus on Five Well explore the next exercise in greater depth next week when I write about goals. Youll find a version of this in nearly every book on productivity or positive psychology. This version is taken from Angela Duckworths Grit (which in turn borrowed it from billionaire Warren Buffett, who may have taken it from Alan Lakein). Heres how it works: Write down a list of your top twenty-five goals (or more). This might seem impossible at first, but give it a try. List all of the projects youre currently working on, both at home and at work. List all of the things you want to do but feel like theres no time. List at least twenty-five. More is beter.Next, review your list. Which goals are most appealing? Do some soul-searching it doesnt matter how and narrow the list to the five highest-priority objectives. Just five. Circle them (or copy them to another piece of paper).Lastly, look at the goals you didnt circle. These you avoid at all costs, writes Duckworth. Theyre what distract you; they eat away time and energy, taking your eyes from the goals that matter more. Harsh but true. If you need help prioritizing your goals it can be tough to sort through so many! rate each one on a scale of 1 to 10 based both on how interesting it is and how important it is. Then multiply those numbers together. For instance, if one of your goals has an interest rating of 9 (very interesting) and an importance rating of 3 (not that important), its score would be 27. Compare the scores. Higher is better. Duckworth says that she would add a fourth step to Buffetts exercise. Ask yourself: To what extent do these goals serve a common purpose? The more closely aligned your top five goals are, the better youll be able to focus on your passion (or purpose). When I write about goals next week, Ill ask you to do a different version of this exercise drawn from Sonja Lyubomirskys The How of Happiness. A Letter to the Future Heres another exercise thats common in self-help manuals. Youre going to contemplate and describe the personal legacy youd like to leave in this world. Think about how you want to be remembered by your grandchildren or great-grandchildren. (If youre childless like me, youll have to pretend.) In the form of a first-person letter, write a summary of your life, values, and accomplishments as youd like them known to your descendants. Pretend like youre near the end of your life and want to share the greatest hits version of your personal story for posterity. One common way to approach this is to pretend youre writing your own obituary. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey offers the following variation: In your minds eye, see yourself going to the funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlor or chapel, parking the car, and getting out. As you walk inside the building, you notice the flowers, the soft organ music. You see the faces of friends and family you pass along the way. You feel the shared sorrow of losing, the joy of having known, that radiates from the hearts of the people there. As you walk down to the front of the room and look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral, three years from today. All these people have come to honor you, to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life. As you take a seat and wait for the services to begin, you look at the program in your hand. There are to be four speakers. The first is from your family, immediate and also extended children, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents who have come from all over the country to attend. The second speaker is one of your friends, someone who can give a sense of what you were as a person. The third speaker is from your work or profession. And the fourth is from your church or some community organization where youve been involved in service. Now think deeply. What would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? What kind of husband, wife, father, or mother would you like their words to reflect? What kind of son or daughter or cousin? What kind of friend? What kind of working associate? What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements would you want them to remember? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives? Make no mistake: This can be a powerful exercise. Tear-inducing, even. Thats okay. By thinking about how youd like people to remember you in the future, after youre gone, you can take steps to align your present self and actions with that ideal vision. 20 Things You Like to Do Heres another exercise from Barbara Shers Wishcraft. She says she borrowed it from Sid Simons Values Clarification. To begin, list twenty things you like to do. You must come up with twenty. Thats the only rule. Dont cop out and make a list of four things you like to do. Or twelve. List at least twenty. (You can write down more, if you like.) Now youre going to make a chart. Take a fresh piece of paper. Down the left side of the page, in the first column of the chart, copy your list of twenty things you like to do. (The order is completely unimportant.) Now, across the top of the page create 8-10 columns. Label them like this (you might have to write tiny): How long since you last did this activity? Free or costs money? Alone or with somebody? Planned or spontaneous? Job related? Physical risk? Fast-paced or slow-paced? Mind, body, or spiritual? Feel free to add other categories that occur to you. (At home or in the world? Spouse likes also? Enjoyed a decade ago? Whatever. Its your list.) Now go through your chart and fill it out for each of your interests. What patterns emerge? What do these patterns tell you about your self and life? To illustrate what this chart ought to look like, I did the exercise myself. It was enlightening. And it took me longer to complete than I expected. I could come up with sixteen things I like to do, but expanding the list to twenty was tough. Heres a screenshot of my list. (Because Im a nerd, I used a spreadsheet instead of a piece of paper.)

Kind of sad (and hilarious) to note that this list is in the order I thought of things. So, that means computer games came to mind as something that I like to do before sex did. Yikes! Looking at my list, it seems like I do a pretty good job of doing the things I like to do. Not perfect but good. Theres also a good balance of free activities vs. activities that cost money, and an even divide between social and alone time. But its clear that most of the things I like to do are spontaneous, not work-related, mental, and most of all slow. The only activity on my list thats truly adrenaline-inducing is riding my motorcycle. Who Do You Want to Be? This exercise is based on a conversation I had with my friend Tyler Tervooren. On a blank piece of paper, make a list of qualities and habits youd like to develop. Do you want to ride your bicycle every morning? Do you want to be more patient with your children? Do you want to be more helpful to your co-workers? Do you want to read the Bible every day? Do you want to drink less alcohol? It doesnt matter what order you write these in. Take as long as you need to make your list. When youve finished, reframe each item using the following format: I am the kind of man who [blank] where [blank] is the habit or quality youre trying to develop. (And obviously, if youre a woman please reframe each of these as I am the sort of woman who [blank].) For example, if you wrote down that youd like to get in the habit of waking 10,000 steps every day, you might reframe that as: I am the kind of woman who walks 10,000 steps every day. Or, better: I am the kind of woman who walks everywhere she can. If one of your aims is to talk less about yourself and pay more attention to others, you might write: I am the kind of man who listens first and talks second. Im genuinely interested in what others have to say. Now copy each of these sentences onto an index card one for each habit. Place these index cards by your bedside. Every morning when you wake up, train yourself to look at these cards first thing. Read through all of them to remind yourself of the habits and qualities youd like to develop. Finally, choose one to make your focus for that day. Keep it in mind as you go about your normal routine, and do your best to live up to the affirmation. Tyler says this habit helped him make real and lasting changes to his life. He built new habits to replace some of the tendencies that had been giving him trouble.

Who You Might Have Been Imagine you grew up with all of the resources financial, emotional, educational you could have possibly wanted or needed. Your interests were encouraged and fostered. You had help and encouragement in all that you did. You werent limited by time or money or location. In a perfect world, what do you think you would be doing now? What would you already have done? What kind of person would you be? Think big. Be as extravagant and far-fetched as youd like. Whats the one big dream you would have pursued if everything had gone your way? If you really would have wanted to become President, then say youd be President. If you would have become a movie star, say youd be a movie star. Dont hold back. Let your imagination fly free in whatever direction it desires. Dont pull any punches. Answer truthfully. Describe what this ideal life might look like. [This exercise also comes from Wishcraft.] The Ideal Schedule In David James Duncans The River Why, Gus, the main character, decides at a young age that in an ideal world he would fish 14-1/2 hours per day. Hes still in high school when he formulates the following plan: The Ideal 24-Hour Schedule sleep: 6 hoursfood consumption: 30 min. (between casts or while plunking, if possible)school: 0 hours!bath, stool, etc.: 15 min. (unavoidable)housework and miscellaneous chores: 30 min. (yards unnecessary; dust not unhealthy; utilitarian neatness easily accomplished)nonangling conversation: 0 hrs.transportation: 45 min. (live on good fishing river)gear maintenance/fly-tying/rod-building/log-keeping, etc.: 1 hr. 30 min.fishing time: 14-1/2 hrs. per day! Then, in true money boss fashion, Gus brainstorms ways he can pursue his purpose: Ways to Actualize Ideal Schedule finish school; no college!move alone to year-round stream (preferably coastal)avoid friendships, anglers not excepted (wastes time with gabbing)experiment with caffeine, nicotine, to eliminate excess sleepdo all driving, shopping, gear preparation, research, etc. after dark, saving daylight for fishing only Result (allowing for unforeseeable interruptions): 4,000 actual fishing hrs. per year!!! I love it. (And I intend to use this example in future talks, so be prepared.) Gus knows his purpose and by brainstorming his ideal schedule, hes able to figure out ways to put this dream into action. In Wishcraft, Barbara Sher suggests a similar exercise. Heres how it works. Grab paper and pen. Seclude yourself somewhere quiet. Close your eyes. Imagine your ideal day. Imagine a day that would be perfect if it represented your usual days not a vacation day. Just a regular, average day if your schedule were ideal. Spend a few minutes visualizing what such a day would look and feel like. Once your ideal schedule begins to become clear, write down what its like in the present tense and in detail from getting up in the morning to going to sleep at night. I might say, for instance: I wake up at 5:30 already in my gym clothes. I grab a piece of fruit, hop on my bike, and ride to the gym. I do an hour of Crossfit. I ride home, grab the dog, and take her for a walk. When we get back to the house at around 8:30, I spend four hours writing about money. And so on. As you write about your ideal day, think about the following: Whats the first thing you do when you wake up? What do you have for breakfast? Do you make it yourself or does somebody bring it to you? Do you take a long, hot bath? Or do you take a cold, bracing shower? What clothes do you wear? How do you spend your morning? How do you spend your afternoon? How do you spend your evenning? At each time of the day, are you indoors or outdoors? Quiet or active? With people or alone? As you envision your ideal schedule, focus on what, where, and who. What are you doing? What kind of work? What kind of play? Dont limit yourself. If youd like to sing or sail but dont know how, in this fantasy you do know how.Where are you? What kind of place, space, and situation? Are you on a farm in rural England? In a New York office building? On a sailboat in the South Pacific? In a fully-equipped workshop? Again, youre not on vacation. Youre imagining a normal day but an ideal day. Where are you?Who are you with? Who do you work with? Who do you live with? Who do you talk with? Who do you sleep with? Maybe its the same people you work and sleep with already. Maybe its somebody else. Let your imagination go. Dont put down only what you think is possible put down the kind of day youd like to live if you had absolute freedom, unlimited means, and all the powers and skills youve ever wished for. Note: Before (or after) you complete the ideal day exercise, you might find it useful to figure out how you actually spend your time right now. For that, I suggest performing a week-long time inventory. On the advice of Paula Pant, I tracked my time last summer and it was very enlightening. It helped me see where I was frittering away my minutes and hours. For more info and instructions on doing a time inventory, visit Laura Vanderkams website where you can grab free downloadable PDF forms and spreadsheets to help track your time in fifteen-minute increments. What Color Are You? This exercise from Wishcraft is for the more right-brained artistic folks. You analytic engineer types might not like it. (On the other hand, it might be good for you to actually complete it!) Heres how it works. Choose a color that represents you. It might be your favorite color or it might not. It ought to be a color that, at this moment, feels like you. The best way to do this is to have an array of colors in front of you. If you have a box of crayons, go get it. If not, heres a page with a bunch of colors. Youre now going to role-play that color. You are going to pretend you are that color. Youre going to think like that color, speak like that color, act like that color. Take a sheet of paper. Write: I am red or I am orange or I am carnation blue. Do not say I like blue because or I think blue is. For the rest of this exercise, you are that color. Now, in a few sentences to a few paragraphs, describe what qualities you have as that color not as yourself. For instance: I am dark blue. Im quiet and deep like the ocean. Or: I am yellow. Im bright and cheerful, intelligent and warm. There are no right answers to this exercise. If youre black, be black! I think Suzanne Vegas Small Blue Thing is a great example of what you might do with this activity. [embedded content] What color am I? Im orange, of course. The 14-Word Description This exercise comes from my friend Amy Jo. Several years ago, she did a photo project in which she took portraits of people she knew. Before each session, she asked the subject: What are the fourteen words that best describe you? For our purposes, I want you to brainstorm as many words as possible to describe who you are. You should come up with a minimum of fourteen, but its better to brainstorm more. Dont ask others to describe you. Your aim here is to describe yourself. How do you see yourself? If you come up with more than fourteen words to describe yourself, narrow the list to only the fourteen that fit you best. Lastly, for each word write a short sentence that describes why you chose it. For instance, if one of your words was athletic, your descriptive sentence might be, I enjoy playing sports and being outdoors. Here are the fourteen words I chose to describe myself six years ago. (Theyre all still accurate.) Adventurous I love to try new things.Creative I love to make new things.Curious I love to learn new things.Evolving Im a different man today than I was yesterday.Independent I make and act on my own decisions.Intelligent I am smart.Playful I like to joke and jest.Positive I look on the bright side.Resourceful I search for ways to get things done.Sociable I enjoy the company of others.Tenacious I pursue my goals with vigor.Unguarded I share myself freely, and I accept the word of others.Versatile I am good at many things.Zealous Im passionate about my friends and hobbies. Heres one of the portraits from our 14-words photo shoot. I look so serious!

When I gave Amy Jo my list, she made an interesting observation. When adults do this exercise, their words are always positive, she told me. But when kids do it, they describe themselves using both positive and negative words. Its as if theyre more aware of their shortcomings or at least more willing to admit them. Three Questions about Life Planning Last of all, heres the exercise I use most often. The father of the life-planning movement, George Kinder, is a certified financial planner and the author of The Seven Stages of Money Maturity. To identify and clarify your direction in life, Kinder suggests thinking about three hypothetical situations: Imagine that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. How would you live your life? Would you change anything? What would you do with the money?Now imagine that you visit the doctor and she tells you that you have 5-10 years left to live. She says that you wont feel sick, but youll have no notice of the moment of your death. What would you do in the time you have left? Would you change your life? How?Finally, imagine your doctor shocks you with the news that you only have 24 hours left to live. If you only had a day remaining, what dreams would you leave unfulfilled? What would you wish you had finished? What would you wish you had done or been? What would you have missed? These questions which are based on the work of time-management guru Alan Lakein are powerful tools for figuring out what you want out of life. If you take the time to really ponder them and answer them honestly, they can help you clarify your personal values and set meaningful goals. Over the past five years, Ive shared this exercise with hundreds of people. Many who took it seriously have written to tell me it changed their lives. It changed my life too. Maybe itll change yours. Recommended Reading In this article, Ive done my best to credit sources. A couple of these exercises are my own the hundred-word exercise, for instance but most are not. Most are borrowed from books. But there are plenty of excellent books out there that can help you figure out what you want out of life even if they dont ask readers to fill out forms our meditate on whats important. Victor Frankls classic Mans Search for Meaning, for example, is a work that almost everyone refers to. Its a ground-breaking short book about how to find purpose even under the worst circumstances. But it doesnt contain any reader homework. Here then are a few of my favorite purpose-related books. You might like them too: To my mind, however, the best book on this subject is relatively new: Angela Duckworths Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. This was my favorite book of 2016. If I could make it required reading, I would. Its that good. Ive listend to the audio version nearly a dozen times (including yesterday during my 21-hour trip home from Florida). Grit is dense with information and ideas. Duckworth makes a convincing argument that passion and perseverance or, in Money Boss lingo, purpose and patience are the best predictors of success. If you can hone in on a single top-level purpose then doggedly pursue it, your life will be filled with meaning and happiness. Great stuff. I hope to publish a review of the book sometime soon. As I said at the start, your purpose is your compass. Its your mission. Its what gives your life direction and meaning. To support your purpose, however, youve got to set up a personal action plan built around a hierarchy of goals. Next week, Ill share some thoughts (and exercises) on how to set goals and structure life to pursue your purpose. How do you put your personal misson statement to use? Well talk about that in just a few days. In the meantime: Tell me about your purpose. What is it? Do you have a personal mission statement? Which of these exercises do you find effective? Are there others that are better? Shares 208 https://www.getrichslowly.org/finding-purpose/