#it's working so far and it got gayer than I expected | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ahyoungbe · 1 year ago

Text

hello! 🥳

hiiii everyone! surprise surprise i am not actually new, this is carly (bejoomi benayoung behanami), with the first fourth muse of the rp(?)...because i'm insane...ahyoung just kind of ambushed me and has been this meme in my head for the past two weeks so here we are. she's an absolute gremlin of a hot mess but she should be fun!! she's very different from my other muses here but no so different from the female muses i usually play if you know me LMAO she far better fits my standard "insane girl" archetype. her profile is here and detailed about is here, but i'll talk about her far too much and offer some potential plot ideas under the cut. you know the drill, please like this if you'd like to plot with us 💓 onward!

ABOUT

'03 liner, born to a musician dad and his roadie wife in namwon. mom was a groupie turned tour staff turned hook-up turned pregnant with their first son turned wife LMAO

so ahyoung has two (significantly) older brothers, and by the time ahyoung (who was an accident) was born, they were all going on tour with dad and nobody wanted to settle down to take care of a baby

so ahyoung got dumped with grandma (on her mom's side) while the others stayed traveling. they would visit when it was convenient but it was not enough for ahyoung's liking

so she started acting out to try to get attention, then once she was labeled a "bad kid" by her parents, was upset and decided well they aren't going to see me as lovable i might as well live up to their bad expectations of me <3 and got Worse

poor grandma is legitimately very kind and did her best raising her i think she probably argued with her daughter a lot over what was best for ahyoung

they tried taking ahyoung on tour once she was old enough but she was a menace there as well so they took her back to grandma and left her there again

eventually it comes out that dad has been cheating on mom. you know. rockstars. lmao

mom was furious and decided to divorce him and wanted to Start Over, decided she was moving to california, and when she was like come on kids let's go the boys were like lol no??? so then she went back to grandma and ahyoung and wanted to take ahyoung with her instead.

by then ahyoung was 12 and she was like ok yeah i'll go. i actually hate it here. and grandma was super hesitant but after some convincing by both her daughter And granddaughter she relented and let her go

ahyoung actually took to california a lot better than namwon. she was just naturally a rebel and very progressive so she actually made friends there quite quickly, she was just still a total menace to society so she was in trouble alllll the timeeee and STILL no one knew what to do with her, even though she did have some kind teachers that actually cared about her and tried to help her

her mom was like absolutely at her wit's end. she had no idea how to take care of ahyoung and all things considered they didn't even know each other that well so their relationship was not great.

ahyoung did just about everything any standard rebel gremlin wild child high schooler could possibly do. got suspended multiple times until she finally got expelled

mom was even MORE at her wit's end and shipped her back to korea, an all girls boarding school for Troubled Childen. it was overall a terrible experience but it didn't break ahyoung's spirit or do much to rehabilitate her if anything it just made her Angrier (and gayer!)

the boarding school was super strict and didn't offer them that much unsupervised time off-campus but it wasn't too far from seoul so she would go to the city whenever she could (or whenever she illegally escaped lmao) and really fell in love with the music scene there. got a fake id to get into every club she could

she actually applied to universities and got into one in seoul for sound engineering. sure, maybe she embellished details a little on her applications, but she was actually smart and her grades weren't as horrific as you might think. timing worked out that her grandma was also ready to expand her humble tearoom business to seoul as well, so they moved together

she was truly so glad to become an adult. now she could truly make any stupid choices she wanted without having to listen to any adults because SHE was the adult!!

she's honestly incredibly outgoing and i wouldn't say she's friendly because she's so sarcastic but she's fun and good at carrying conversation, so she made lots of connections and ended up snagging a job as a photographer for a concert venue, thanks to those connections and her love for photography as a hobby that actually made her really good!

i didn't mention music much in this description but she really always liked music, even without her parents introducing it to her. she had the time of her life on tour with them for five minutes. she would say it's in her blood and that she's also "reclaiming it from her shitty dad."

she writes a loooot of songs. she's a very pop punk girlie (she plays bass and guitar) but also a rapper, so her style is interesting. think waterparks (like this or this ), yungblud, harder olivia rodrigo, etc; sing-rappy.

she's weird. likes dark shit, isn't scared of much of anything. knows a lot about music but also serial killers.

she will honestly talk to and befriend anyone. she's not a judgmental person at all. i think you could tell her just about anything and she'd be like "that's cool. want a cigarette"

she also lies a lot. lies for fun, lies to get out of trouble. she knows she looks really cute and it used to bother her but now she uses her looks to her advantage to play the Officer I'm Innocent card and gets away with way too much because of it

she honestly has a lot of creative talents. she's pretty good at art as well and considered being a tattoo artist for a little while. she also considered being a makeup artist because she loves that too. of course, there's also photography, and there's music. she also knows how to edit videos and she's picked up how to work lighting and sound at concerts due to her Connections. she is Open For Freelance Work (she will do just about anything for a price)

i'm sure i'm forgetting stuff about her but whatever this is more than enough right LKJSDLFLSDGSD

PLOT IDEAS

ahyoung really wants to be in a band, but she's not right now. she knows lots of musicians but nothing has worked out yet and she doesn't have the attention span and sense of responsibility to actually Start Her Own Band so somebody else needs to do it! or invite her to your existing band! she can play bass or guitar but would rather play bass.

since she's a concert photographer she's at One particular concert venue just about every night, but she also just goes to anyone's concerts when she can. clubs too. live music? she's there, she loves it. any muses in this scene could know her!

classmates! i don't know what uni she goes to yet for plotting purposes so we can figure that out. she's better at school these days since she has freedom to do what she wants outside of it, and is actually studying something she likes

people for her to be a bad influence on. she doesn't really Pressure People to do "bad things" but she does a lot of crazy shit, always offers cigarettes and alcohol, says "who cares" about just about every rule, and if your muse is impressionable and/or a pushover it's possible that she could rub off on them

alternatively, people that try to tell her to calm the fuck down. she'll hate it and tell them to mind their own business they're not her real dad

honestly she's very American in attitude and personality despite only living there for like four years, so she'll probably vibe with fellow americans. they can talk about how much they miss american snacks and how "stuffy everyone in korea is"

she likes dogs. will 100% ask to pet your dog and strike up a conversation if she sees someone out and about with one, so first meetings that way could work

she likes video games also; she's an xbox and nintendo switch gal as of now but trying to save up for a gaming computer (god knows when she'll have enough money because she keeps buying shit she doesn't need) so gaming friends are welcome

she thinks kpop is pretty cool but isn't super into it. just from being so into music she knows a decent amount about the companies and artists, but isn't super attached to any of them. people to get her emotionally invested in a group would be nice, though i'm not sure how they could do that yet kLJSDLFJLSDG we'll figure it out!

she doesn't know a thing about dancing outside of the kind of dancing you do in clubs and at concerts but she also thinks that is cool and considering how well she takes to most creative outlets i think she'd be decent at it if someone got her into it, so someone to at least try to get her into dancing would be fun too

she doesn't have a youtube channel or anything but music is a very social thing for her so people to collab with and jam with in any way would be fun for her

fellow songwriters that are open to sharing their work with her; just be sure to tell her if you want feedback or not because she has no problem telling people when their music could use work lmao...she'll share her music too, though, and if you give her critique she'll be like "ok. i didn't make this for you." but she'll consider it anyway

IDK i've been working on this post for over an hour. so let's brainstorm more stuff it should be fun!!

#* INTRO #* OOC

4 notes · View notes

hasturmcfuckface · 8 months ago

Text

OH MYGOD OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY. OKAY . HOLD ON YES I CAN HELP WITH THIS

The most important thing to know about faroeverse is the fact that it tackles the narrative topic of fridging, specifically the fridging of female characters. Faroe's story is about surviving in a world that, metatextuality, did not want her to survive.

FIRSTLY: follow @saturnniines on twitter and tumblr! i believe moth is more active on twitter and is kind of The faroeverse guy. also the writer of the fics i'm about to send you!

SECONDLY: a collection of some of the faroeverse works! there's another one out there but i don't remember who wrote it which is sad because it's really good it takes place in the dreamlands :((

fic one, "godhood and girlhood," separates faroe's kiy fragment, jane, as her own person through her explorations of gender.

fic two, "fresh static snow," is this au's version of the yellow arc and it's actually so much sadder imo because it swaps fv!jane and canon!john. faroe gets her dead dad's fragment, arthur gets his dead daughter's fragment. very sad. there's a comic i made for it linked at the bottom of

Some other AU world stuff beneath the cut that's not necessary to know but Is very fun:

Some important other characters:

-Jane Doe. A fragment of the King in Yellow who has chosen her own identity. She's a lot more reserved than John is, her fights with Faroe are ice-cold rather than loud and aggressive, and she has a tendency towards anxiety. She's an absolute sweetheart a lot of the time. She's a transfem lesbian and her relationship with Faroe is definitely romantic, both of these facts are important to the themes of the story.

-Parker Yang (also known as Uncle Park!) Her dad's best friend, and another father figure to her when she's little. Parker shows up far earlier in the story and helps raise Faroe after the bathtub incident. He loses custody of her when Arthur dies, but they reunite when Faroe is a teenager, having run away, and pick up the old family business (aka detective agency.) He later shows up again in the story after being presumed dead, and fills the narrative role of Detective Noel.

-Daniel Saltzman. He really sucks in this timeline, he projects his loss for Bella onto Faroe and has really high pressure and expectations of her to be a "perfect woman." The narrative with him focuses less on reconciliation and forgiveness and more on how your childhood doesn't need to shape you.

-Teddy Hart. The first entirely fanmade character! He's essentially what Bella is to canon Arthur, with the added caveat of the fact that they were in a very forced marriage (see: Daniel Saltzman). He dies when Faroe, fleeing in a panic, accidentally left the stove on. The house burned down with him inside of it. There are whispers that Faroe did it on purpose. She didn't. She misses him, even if she never loved him the way she was "supposed" to.

-Alexander. Remember that kid Oscar talked about in his backstory? This is him. He's in this.

-Addison "Addy" Larson. Wally couldn't do it in this world, he couldn't sacrifice her, so she got the chance to grow up and be just as vicious and power-hungry as him. When she learned of his plans for her when she was little, she decided to complete them--by sacrificing him instead.

-Jupiter. Kayne thought it would be really really funny if this timeline had a character like Yellow too, the other half of the king imprisoned in a mortal body. They skip Faroe and goes straight to Addy.

-Denise "The Butcher" Collins. Pretty much a genderbent regular Butcher except she has some other stuff going on. She's Faroe's butch awakening (no pun intended--Faroe gets the idea to disguise herself as a man in s4 because Denise does it first). Somehow also gayer than the canon Butcher.

And now for some fun facts!

-It takes place in the early 1950s; Faroe is 29. She has access to a lighter and an aerosol can. She uses this power well.

-Faroe plays the violin, not the piano!

-Jane's voice is exactly the same as John's, just with a different cadence and speaking pattern.

-Instead of Owlexander in season 5, Faroe and Jane get a skrungly black kitten they name Bowl. Faroe carries her around in her bag or hood. It's exactly as adorable as you're imagining.

Faroeverse?

Ok SO

I've arrived to the point when I want to get into the Faroeverse.

Tell me where to start and whom to follow pls!

Are there fics? I'm aware of the surrogate series only and that's not it is all I know 😅

#malevolent #malevolent podcast #faroeverse au

31 notes · View notes

telehxhtrash · 4 years ago

Text

A masterpost on Togashi’s gay subtext and why it’s intentional.

Hi ! After seeing so many posts about Togashi dropping subtext about Killua's possible romantic feelings for Gon, I thought it'd be a good idea to make a sort of "masterpost" with all the subtext that Togashi has included into his work.

I usually see a lot of people trying to say that HxH isn't about romance and that Togashi isn't interested in writing romance into the manga, but when you analyze all the subtext that's been going on the further Gon and Killua's relationship progresses, I think it's incorrect to say that Togashi has never hinted at the possibility of romance in HxH.

This is going to be a long post, enjoy your read!

Also, please note that I will only base this analysis on the manga, so there can be no mistake that "maybe this is just something the anime made gayer" : i want to prove that the subtext is 100% intentional on Togashi's part.

I'd also like to mention, although I will analyze it further after listing the subtext, that Togashi is a VERY smart man. There are always little details in the story and/or foreshadowing that are easily missed at first but when you notice them, it truly makes you understand how much attention and care Togashi puts into his work. There are countless details and symbolism that are analyzed daily through wonderful meta posts, from the main 4′s birthdays and their link to their character or the religious symbolism in Kurapika’s story arc.... Togashi loves to foreshadow and plant little details into his work, so when Togashi plants subtext, I'm sure he 100% knows that he's writing it, and it can't be seen as unintentional.

I'll also link all my references for this post at the end of it, so feel free to read all the additional textposts and content if you want to know more.

Well, let's get into it!

EDIT : i can’t believe this post is still being used as a reference it makes me so happy... thank you so much !!! i edited this to tweak it a bit because i wrote this a while ago and the phrasing seemed off to me, so if you’re reading or re-reading this post, hi, welcome to masterpost on gay subtext 2.0 !

GREED ISLAND ARC

Greed Island is to me the arc that lays down the nature of Killua and Gon's relationship. It's during this arc that we get to see a bit more of what Killua thinks, how he's lucky to have met Gon and that he feels really grateful. Gon’s behavior in this arc is also very affectionate, with him always reassuring Killua about his place next to him. While the scene where Killua thinks "You've got it backwards, Gon, I'm the one that's glad I met you." can't be considered as subtext, I think it's something that lets the reader know a bit more about how Killua feels towards Gon.

But other than this scene, which can clearly be dismissed as platonic, there are 2 more moments in the Greed Island arc that are layered in subtext.

• The Rainbow Diamond (chapter 151)

During their time in Dorias, Killua uses Risky Dice to gain cards from the slot machines. The first card that Killua gains is called "Rainbow Diamond", the description of the card being "A diamond that shines in a rainbow of colors. Propose with this diamond and she is guaranteed to say "yes"".

There are 3 different things we can take from this panel. First, the card is a marriage proposal card, so it's obviously romantic in nature. Second, the object is a RAINBOW diamond. And third, Killua, wanting to keep the card safe, gifts it to Gon.

In short, Togashi sat down at his desk, decided to draw Killua winning a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL CARD (it could've been any card, but Togashi CHOSE to make Killua win a marriage proposal card) that has a RAINBOW diamond on it and made Killua gift it to Gon.

While I personally don't think that subtext can be used to 100% ascert that Killua has romantic feelings for Gon, I think it's a funny little touch from Togashi, and I'm even gonna say a sort of hint towards how Killua's feelings for Gon are going to evolve in this arc and the next.

• “It has to be Killua” (chapter 166)

Now this is a scene that I've never seen anyone talk about, at least on Tumblr, but when I read a bit of analysis on it I was 100% convinced this was intentional subtext. I'm basically quoting here what this article explains, so if you want more detail, I recommend reading it.

As you probably recall, during their deadly dodgeball game against Razor, Killua decides to sacrifice his hands to ensure that Gon could use all his strength. When confronted about it, Killua insists that it's nothing, and Gon shocks him by saying that he knew all along that he was hurting himself for his sake.

Gon then says that it can only be Killua holding the ball, and that it has to be Killua, resulting in Killua being absolutely awestruck and embarassed. I'm also going to talk about the anime adaptation for this one, because it's perfectly executed and translates extremely well the nuance that the second sentence bears. If you want to rewatch it, this scene happens in episode 70. It's worth noting that in the anime, we see Killua not reacting to Gon's first sentence, but losing his composure entirely when Gon says the second sentence. But why ?

The reason was lost in translation. His exact words are "Booru wa Killua ga motte-kurenai to. Killua ja nakya dame nan da.". Both sentences basically say the same thing : It has to be Killua holding the ball. That second sentence can be translated literally as "If it's not Killua, that won't do." However, the second sentence, in a different context, can also be used to say a totally different thing.

While it's certain that Gon used this sentence in the context of the dodgeball match, the sentence "~ja nakya dame nan da" also serves as a confession of one's feelings in japanese. It's basically the equivalent to "you're the one for me". When you google the sentence, it turns up romantic songs, forum posts asking what it would translate to in English and posts on how to confess to someone.

The sentence basically drowns in romantic subtext. As mentioned before, Killua has no reaction to the first sentence "Booru wa Killua ga motte-kurenai to.", but loses his composure at the second one, and I think that was a very deliberate thing Togashi wanted to convey : this sentence has an additional layer, and clearly Killua is taking it to heart.

I will come back to this specific subtext in a bit, because we can parallel it with another subtext-y situation, so please keep it in mind for now.

CHIMERA ANT ARC

Now onto the sad gay arc! This arc is so RIDDLED in subtext and parallels that it's making me lose my mind.

• Gon, you are light. (chapter 199)

This scene is just... So romantic in nature. I’m not too objective on this, but I really do believe that this moment is the exact moment Killua fell in love with Gon and started to realize he felt a bit more than friendship towards him. It’s Killua respecting Gon for who he is, realizing that he’s light and he’s always been, he’s the one who saved him and who’s always been so bright and optimistic and always makes the best out of any situation. In this scene, Killua lets himself drown in Gon’s light, allows himself to feel this “wow” moment of pure admiration and love, and it’s absolutely beautiful.

It's extremely important to take the context of this scene into account. What happened is that Killua, who has been struggling mentally for the entire series with the fact that he's always running away, ran away once more, leaving Kite to die with Pitou. This ENTIRE chapter is literally adults absolutely DESTROYING Killua, first Kite's troupe bashing him for leaving Kite behind, and then Netero, Morel and Knov coming in like icing on the cake telling Killua that "After all, he's just a kid", and that he should hurry up to his mommy.

Killua is beating himself up for running away again, got destroyed by Kite's team and 3 extremely strong pro hunters. His morale is down in the drains right now. He expects Gon to be mad at him for betraying Kite, for running away once again, for leaving Kite to die alone and ripping Gon away from Kite : he expects that he'll lose Gon for his cowardice.

HOWEVER, the first thing that Gon says to Killua after having been passed out for god knows how many hours is "Thank you".

Gon woke up and instantly eased up all of Killua's fears : he wasn't a loser for running away, and Gon was actually thankful for him. Gon, at this moment, was the only one that showed kindness, understanding and gratefulness towards Killua. Gon even goes so far as saying that he knows that Kite isn't dead, and that they have to help him. At this instant, Gon is truly Killua's saving grace. He's the one that trusts him with his entire heart, and believes in his choices when even he can't believe in himself. Gon is truly Killua's light at this precise moment, because he was the only one who supported him, trusted him and reassured him in this awful situation.

How can someone shine so bright in such a terrible situation ? How can someone be so positive that nothing bad will happen ?

Gon asserting all of this makes Killua respect him a lot. Keep this word in mind, because it’s going to be important in the next piece of subtext I’m analyzing, because those two scenes canonically follow each other and are basically Togashi highlighting that something special happened when Killua called Gon his light, and that his feelings deepened.

• Introduction to Palm's character (chapter 200)

This piece of subtext is very very easy to miss but it's one of the most important subtext-y scene, because coupled with the “Gon, you are light” scene, it’s very clear that this dialogue is deliberately highlighting Killua’s feelings.

This chapter introduces Palm's character (which, imo, is a character introduced for the sole intent of being a catalyst to Killua's feelings towards Gon, but I'll talk about it in my post talking about the CAA parallels) - edit: i talked about this briefly here.

So, Killua having looked into Gon's eyes for like 10min straight and concluded that Gon was the light of his life a chapter ago, is now chilling with Gon as they meet Palm.

Palm takes them to a café and STRAIGHT OFF THE BAT harasses them about how much she's in love with Knov. Like when I say harassing, it's literally a whole page of her explaining her feelings towards Knov.

There are two interesting things that can be drawn from this interaction.

First, it's extremely easy to draw parallels between Palm's situation towards Knov and Killua's situation towards Gon. Palm starts by saying how amazing her master is, that she probably has special feelings for him but the most important thing is to respect the other person. Remember how I talked about how this last scene was Killua having a surge of deep, deep respect for Gon ? Palm makes sure to highlight that special word, that it’s important to respect someone when it comes to love.

She then goes on to say that she hasn't said anything to Knov, and never will. All of this adds nothing to the story, it's empty dialogue, Togashi could've introduced Palm in virtually any other way possible, but he chose to drag her and the gay duo to a café and make her have a monologue about love RIGHT after the extremely emotional panel of Killua declaring that Gon is his light just a chapter ago.

But there's more. Not only does Palm monologue for a while about love, but after finishing her monologue, this happens :

This panel features ONLY Palm and Killua, her looking at him like the psycho she is, and straight up telling him that "love can suddenly spark out of nowhere, don't you think so?".

What's so interesting about this is the fact that Togashi made the deliberate choice to have Palm say this to Killua and Killua ONLY, which after the gay existential crisis he had last chapter, can very much be applied to his situation. Love DID spark out of nowhere, and Togashi wants you to notice. Togashi could've made Palm say this to herself, with no distinct listener like the last panel, but he made the conscious choice to draw this panel with Palm adressing herself to Killua SPECIFICALLY.

Those two pieces of subtext, that fit perfectly together, make me believe 100% that Togashi knows what he's doing and he's not unintentionally planting gay subtext in his work. The fact that Togashi sat at his desk, drew Killua calling Gon his light, and then followed this scene with the introduction to a character who picks Killua apart to tell him that "love is something that just happens, don't you think?" is 100% proof that Togashi knows what he's doing.

• Date with Palm (chapters 217 and 218)

I think this situation has many layers, but many people still dismiss it as bro behavior so I'm gonna try my best to counter argue. First of all, and although that's not proof of anything, Killua looks EXTREMELY distressed by the prospect of Gon going on a date with Palm, but that can be counter-argued by saying that Killua is just worried because Palm is completely crazy.

What I want to talk about is the scene that happens right after, when Gon and Killua go to the gym (because theyre DUDES YEAH WE WORK OUT NO HOMO), and the conversation casually drifts to Killua asking Gon if he's ever been on a date before, valid question considering what just happened previously. There are multiple things here :

1) Killua seems distressed that Gon has been on dates before. While it can be argued that it's a normal reaction because Gon has and he hasn't, I believe that Killua - who is in no way a normal person who would get flustered about "not having been on dates before a certain age" - would not feel uncomfortable that his friend is more experienced than him - especially when literal seconds later, he monologues about how he doesn’t care about dates and just wants to stick with Gon.

2) Gon then proceeds to ask Killua if he's ever been on a date, to which Killua responds :

What I want to highlight is the panel where Killua says "And the truth is, I want to stay by your side... Always...". Basically, what Killua is saying, is that he doesn't care about dates, all he wants to do is be with Gon.

I don't think this can be counter-argued as bro behavior, but with all the subtext I've explained before, this right here is pretty gay. Togashi put this panel deliberately to show that Killua doesn't give a crap about dates when he can stay with Gon, and with the "gon you are light" scene and everything in mind, this is another intentional subtext.

There's also the fact that Killua stalks the date like a jealous girlfriend - but I'm not gonna count that as subtext because it can be argued that he's just worried about Gon because Palm is insane.

• Gon is my best friend ! (chapter 219)

Remember how I told you to keep the "It has to be Killua" subtext in mind because I was gonna come back to it later ? Well.

During Palm's date with Gon, Killua runs into Rammot, who would definitely have ran into Palm and nenless Gon. Killua is forced to confront his worst fear : this is the moment where he knows that if he runs away again, Gon WILL die. Killua is literally overcoming his "programming", the physical representation of years of abuse out of love and care for Gon. He's ripping out the needle from his forehead out of pure, genuine care for Gon, because if he doesn't, then he'll lose him forever.

Now, what I actually wanna talk about is this panel :

What we see is Killua thinking happy thoughts about all his adventures with Gon because he can't - won't - doesn't want to run away anymore, and all this for his sake. But what I wanna draw attention to is the dodgeball panel that's bigger than all the others, and the only one where you can actually clearly make out what's written : "Killua ja nakya dame nan da".

Now, isn't that interesting that the panel that takes a bigger place in the whole panel is the one with this particular sentence? Remember what I talked about a bit earlier, about how "~ ja nakya dame nan da" is a sentence with a lot of romantic connotations (would pretty much equal to "you're the one for me" in English). Clearly this particular sentence stuck with Killua.

I'm not completely objective on this matter since I firmly believe that at this point, Killua has romantic feelings for Gon, but I interpret this as another deliberate thing Togashi did : putting the panel bigger so we can see that it has a particularly significant importance to Killua, and Killua's state of mind right now (not wanting to lose Gon).

In my opinion, two things happened here: One, Killua remembers this specific interaction because he knows how much Gon trusts him and he doesn't want to betray his trust. But I also firmly believe that Killua remembered this specific interaction because of the romantic connotation the sentence "Killua ja nakya dame nan da" has. Those words clearly shocked him, and I think he remembers them in this life-threatening situation, after the "gon you are light" scene, Palm talking about "love just happens", the "i want to stay with you, always" because he realizes that he wishes Gon would say that sentence in a romantic context, and not in the context of the dodgeball match, thus leading him to surpass himself to prove his love and perhaps live to see the day where Gon could say those words in that romantic context.

Now, of course, all of this is my interpretation, so it's really up to debate, but I really wanna highlight the fact that Togashi deliberately CHOSE to highlight this particular interaction between Gon and Killua, this sentence with romantic subtext, to lead Killua to finally break his chains and be able to be protect Gon fully. It’s also interesting to note that the 2011 anime adaptation also makes it a point to emphasize how deep these words stuck to Killua by making it the last flashback that makes Killua effectively rip out the needle out of his head.

Also let's quickly mention the irony in the situation here : while Gon is on a romantic date, Killua fights to protect him, overcoming his weakness to prove his love. It’s not Palm who deserves that date, it’s Killua.

• A lovers’ suicide (chapter 286)

Now, onto the most important piece of subtext, that can not be counterargued as platonic in any way, shape or form. During the palace invasion, Killua leaves Gon's side, proceeds to go kick Youpi's butt only to have to fall back because he used up all his electricity nen. When Killua is charging up, he meets with Meleoron, and tells him that once he's done charging, he'll go back to Gon's side.

They briefly exchange information about the battle, and then Meleoron proceeds to ask Killua what's the plan for him and Gon. That's when Killua explains that "Once Gon is like this, he won't budge an inch. Worst case scenario, it'll be a double suicide.". At worst they both die, cool. They “go down in flames together”. It’s actually much, much more meaningful than that.

The specific word that Killua uses for double suicide is "心中" (shinjuu), which is a heavily romantically connotated word in japanese. Shinjuu, also translated as "lovers’ suicide", is when two people die out of love, by the same method, because there's a belief that this'll allow those two people to spend eternity together. Shinjuu is a major theme of Japanese literature, and it is always used romantically. It's a very uncommon word to use to refer to two people dying together, because of its heavy romantic connotation, and because it always refers to double suicide committed by people bound by love. In literature, it always refers to two lovers, in love. If you want to read more on shinjuu, i suggest this and this, those articles explain its historic roots and the definition, also emphasizing the feeling of "oneness" that characterizes shinjuu. If you’re interested, I also suggest reading the japanese article that defines shinjuu, and hitting the google translate button, it has some pretty interesting sentences like “Shinjuu is traditionally committed by men and women out of mutual love, in the hope that they will be connected in the afterlife because they can't be together in this world.”

So basically, what Killua is saying is that he wants to go back to Gon's side to die with him, committing a "lovers’ suicide" because he doesn't want to leave Gon to die alone, and wants to die with him.

I also want to emphasize how special this word is to Killua, and that he and everyone around him know the special meaning of this word - In chapter 300, Ikalgo literally says "We were... No, KILLUA was ready to commit shinjuu with Gon". Ikalgo is really highlighting the fact that this word holds special meaning, especially to Killua, and that it was HIM who was willing to commit shinjuu by staying with Gon. Ikalgo and company dying with Gon wouldn't be shinjuu, but Killua dying with Gon would be, and Togashi emphasizes this through Ikalgo's thoughts.

This is pretty much the gist of it, but I suggest reading the wonderful post I linked in the references below if you want to know more about this specific subtext.

(edit : i actually wrote a post going a bit more into detail on Killua’s shinjuu wish if you want to read it here ! :3)

• “The one that Gon needs the most is you” (chapter 294)

I will go into this subtext more in details when I write the post about parallels in CAA, but I still want to talk about it briefly here.

Like I said before, to me, Palm was introduced as a catalyst for Killua's feelings towards Gon. Togashi purposefully wrote Palm as having romantic feelings for Gon to foil Killua's feelings for Gon and make him show jealousy towards Palm.

To Killua, Palm is someone who stole Gon from him, he sees her as a threat because maybe she'll make Gon happier than he does ? (ofc we all know thats not true but Killua is baby) - Basically, Killua thinks Palm might be more important to Gon than Killua is, because he believes they are romantically involved. That's why when he sees her again later on, after Gon rejected his help, leaving Killua helpess as to how to save his dear friend, Killua sees Palm as a saving grace.

He knows that if Gon sees Palm as a chimera ant, he will spiral down even more, so he tries to reason with her to get her to be gentle to Gon, because if not her, then who could? Palm would clearly be able to comfort Gon, with whom Killua believes is romantically involved with, better than him, right ? If Gon rejected Killua, then clearly Palm could help, since she seems closer to Gon (BECAUSE HE BELIEVES THEYRE DATING), right?

This confrontation between Palm and Killua closely ressembles a situation like an ex confronting a new girlfriend - and I think this is exactly why Togashi wrote Palm this way. He wanted Killua to confront who he thought was a threat to their relationship, making him believe that this person who's """"dating"""” Gon is more important to him than himself, only to have her openly admit that she means nothing to Gon. The only one Gon needs is Killua.

And that, my friends, coming from someone you believe is romantically involved with your best friend (who you probably have a crush on), someone you're jealous of, the one you thought was the person most important to him, that's a pretty meaningful statement.

Basically, what's happening, is that Palm reaffirms that Gon holds Killua closer than a potential romantic partner. And that's why Killua is so, so happy to hear that. He was questioning his entire relationship, questioning if Gon even cared about him, because he rejected him a few minutes before, but then his "rival" comes in and reaffirms that even she knows that no one comes close to Killua to Gon.

I also want to mention that this act of pure love (Killua only thinking of saving Gon when in a life threatening situation) is what made Palm come back to her human senses. d'awwwwww

• Illumi and Hisoka’s parallel on lovers who die of Alluka’s requests. (chapter 323)

Now onto the final significant subtext - while I don't particularly think of it as subtext-y, I know a lot of people have so I still want to include it here.

When Illumi explains Alluka's powers to Hisoka, he explains that there are two different types of linked deaths when a request is failed : 1) the person who failed + the person they love the most 2) the person who failed + the people they spent most of their time with.

When applied to Killua, Hisoka naturally comes to the conclusion that no matter the outcome, Gon would always be the one dying with Killua, because he's spent so much time with him, and because he's the one that Killua loves the most. In the panel where Illumi explains this, we see a romantic, heterosexual couple demonstrating the effects of not completing one of Alluka's requests, and thus the "most important person dying".

While not making any true parallels, the fact that Hisoka, and the readers, are drawn to compare a heterosexual, romantic pairing to Killua dying with Gon because he's his "most important person" is an interesting piece of subtext.

_______

I want to finish by talking about Killua's birthday and how significant it is in my opinion. All the main 4 characters have birthdays that fall on specific dates, related to Japanese tradition, and often with events that can be associated to their character. Gon's is 5/5, which is Children's Day. Kurapika's is 4/4, the number 4 being considered an unlucky number, and this being an unlucky day to have a child. Leorio's is 3/3, Hinamatsuri (not really any main parallels here but still). But Killua's birthday is 7/7, and is the Japanese day to celebrate Tanabata.

If you are not familiar with Tanabata, the story is as follows : Orihime is a princess who works for her father, working hard and well, but she laments the fact that because of her hard work she can't meet someone and fall in love. Her father arranges for her to meet Hikoboshi, allowing Orihime to leave because he expects her to come back to work for him, but the two immediately fall in love and get married, and she never returns. I won't get into the rest of the story as it's this part that interests me the most, but if you want to read more about Killua and Tanabata I suggest reading the post I referenced below.

Does the story of Orihime remind you of anyone ? Killua also works for his father, but laments the fact that he can't go outside and meet someone. His father then lets him go, saying, and i quote: "he will come back, because he's my son". Doesn't this remind you of the tale of Tanabata ? Killua's story references the tale of Orihime perfectly, and I believe this is intentional : Killua's birthday isn't of any importance to the plot, so why make it Tanabata, a day that celebrates a love story that closely ressembles Killua's story ? The answer is simple : subtext.

With all this in mind, I think it's pretty clear that Togashi is writing intentional subtext to hint at Killua's feelings being romantic in nature. Togashi is a master writer, he has years of experience, and I strongly believe he knows what he's doing and not planting unintentional subtext. He's a very smart man, and knows how all of this can be interpreted.

I will finish by saying that Togashi is NOT an author that would deliberately queerbait his readers. So many people dismiss the possibility of having gay subtext leading onto an actual canon gay relationship because "it's not like the author would ever have gay main characters". While this holds true for a lot of manga authors, especially shonen manga authors, it does NOT apply to Togashi.

Togashi has always displayed interest in queer subjects and queer representation, putting trans characters in all of his major works (Miyuki in YYH, Mikihisa in Level E and Alluka in HxH). There were also canonically gay characters in his previous works : Itsuki in YYH, and a character named Kuramoto in Level E.

Togashi also always had interest in mangas having BL elements, citing Maya Mineo's "Patalliro!" as a manga he was attracted to during High School. If you're unfamiliar with Patalliro, the story focuses on the main character's love life as a gay man. He also admitted to basing Hiei's (YYH) design off a character from that manga.

Last but not least, Togashi mentioned in a note included in volume 1 of YYH that he wanted to write a sports manga, called The Trouble Quartet, where basically all the characters are gay. Togashi said he based it off his own interests as a writer, and that while it was refused by Shonen Jump, he got deeply attached to the project and that he would love to explore this project in a different shape once he made a name for himself. I suggest reading this post because the parallels between The Trouble Quartet and HxH are HILARIOUSLY accurate.

In short, Togashi has always had interest in queer matters, and was always interested in putting queer representation in his work. After YYH, which was a terrible experience for Togashi as a writer, he managed to snatch a contract that basically allows him to do whatever he wants with HxH. Having always held dear BL matters but never being able to explore it to his full intent, I believe Togashi is exploring queer identity further with HxH, because Shonen Jump basically lets him do anything.

To conclude, with Togashi's past experience and skill, his interest in queer representation, and the amount of subtext surrounding Killua, I honestly believe that Togashi is trying to explore further queer representation, and I wouldn't be surprised if HxH ends with Gon and Killua becoming a canon pairing, whether it be delivered in an ambiguous manner or not.

Edit : I actually wrote a post on why I believe it won’t be ambiguous, and that it’s truly never been ambiguous, just developing : here.

I hope you enjoyed the read, thank you for reading all of this, and feel free to show this to anyone who denies subtext in HxH !

REFERENCES

- "It has to be Killua" - Medium article, "Impossibilities in Translating Queerness : The Dodgeball Dilemma"

- Palm's Date Scene - Reddit post, "Togashi's love of Ambiguity: Chapters 217 and 218"

-A thematic analysis of Palm’s character : ”The Issue With Palm”

- Shinjuu - Tumblr post by hunterxhell, "A lovers' suicide, I guess." : + the post that mentions Ikalgo talking about shinjuu

- An analysis on different subtext-y situations

- Illumi and Hisoka’s parallel : here and here

- Killua’s birthday : "Killua, July 7th, and the significance of his birthdate”

- Togashi's interview mentioning Mineo's Patalliro

#hxh #hxh meta #hunter x hunter #killugon #meta #my posts #my meta

4K notes · View notes

ink-flavored · 3 years ago

Text

Two people asked for this one and it’s kind of involved, so I’m gonna kill two birds with one stone (sorry, rest in peace :pray hands:)

POV — something that’s already happened, retold from another character’s perspective

Full disclosure: this POV shift is a joke. Half a joke. It started out as a joke but I’m making it real. Feel free to place this in-between pretty much any of the AOA chapters thus far.

Yugi... actually could not believe this.

While he may not have been working at South Regency for very long, he’d been working retail since he could legally hold down a job. He’d witnessed, been subject to, and stared in awe at the audacity of some of the dumbest, rudest, most inconsiderate people on the face of the planet. Yugi had stared into the abyss, and the abyss wanted a discount. But nothing, in all that time, had come quite as close as this. He sat in the breakroom, planning to spend all his precious fifteen minutes staring at the far wall in an attempt to process what just happened—what kept happening. Yugi knew persistence, but brazenly asking for dick on the job, in public, was something else. Atem knew what he was about, Yugi would give that to him. It would have been impressive if it weren’t so tiredly predictable. Domino City was gayer than the country club’s presence would have one believe. Yugi had been hit on at work before, he’d been asked out in a variety of uncomfortable ways, and he’d grown numb to it. Atem’s methods, on the other hand, were so audacious that they went full circle and became boring again. Clearly, he expected it to work. Yugi wasn’t going to cave that easily. So around and around they went. “This is ground control to Yug’,” Joey said as he entered, covering his mouth for a static-y microphone effect. “What’s the situation?” “Guess who’s still at it,” Yugi replied. Joey sat next to him. “Again?” “Oh, yeah, Again.” “What happened this time?” No additional prompting necessary, Yugi rattled off the latest chapter of Atem’s pursuit of him. Every time he said it out loud, it sounded more insane than he remembered. “It‘s ridiculous!” he asserted, for what had to be the third time. “It happens practically every day, without fail, and I’m at my wits end. I can’t believe I have to fuck this guy.” Joey almost replied, stopped, and blinked a few times. “You don’t... have to—“ “No, I’m going to.” “But... why?” Yugi could only shrug. “I appreciate stubbornness. He’s not bad looking. I do want to see if there’s more to him, though.” “Not to burst a bubble, but there probably isn’t.” “What do you mean?” “His family’s been coming here every summer since the dawn of time, and every year he’s... I don’t know, he’s got an attitude problem? Couldn’t tell you why. My theory is he’s an asshole.” Yugi considered this. Joey had been working here for years, and had a better lay of the land on most of the regulars than he did. Something about that assessment didn’t stick, though. “I still want to see,” Yugi said. “Maybe he can be nice when he wants to.” “That’s just means he’s choosing to be an asshole.” “He’s friends with Tristan, you know.” Joey’s mouth fell open. “What? No way.” Yugi spread his hands. “My point exactly. Tristan can sniff out a truly rancid douche a mile away.” “Hmm.” Joey sat back, now also squinting at the far wall. “I still don’t like it.” Yugi shrugged again. He wasn’t sure if it was a completely good idea, but there was something compelling about Atem. There had to be, if Yugi hadn’t gotten sick of his antics yet. Maybe he was overly optimistic, but it felt too naïve to take the suave, foreign, rich douche persona at face value. It was too much of a stereotype to be a real personality. “Gotta get back to it,” Joey announced, pushing to his feet. “Me too,” Yugi said, standing up. His break hadn’t felt like much of a break, but then again, nothing ever seemed to.

I have no excuse. Very apt.

[No Excuses writing ask game]

#annika talks #answered #mystery flavor #ask game #AOA #original fiction #fan fiction #long post

36 notes · View notes

duran-duran-less-official · 3 years ago

Text

Thoughts:

I agree with the takes that say we likely won't see a return to 2005-era Russell T. Davies television. My point of reference would be something like, 2005-2008 Rusty is like a parallel to 2010-2013 Moffat, and 2023-onwards Rusty is more likely to parallel 2014-2017 Moffat. There's a clear split there where Moffat ditched some of his more egregious excesses as his showrunning matured (helped by dealing with cranky old professor Capaldi instead of... well still a nutty old professor, but trapped in the body of a 20-something Matt Smith) and I have a feeling Rusty will have developed in the same way.

Judging by what Russell has done since Doctor Who, I DO think the coming seasons will be gayer. How that will manifest, I'm not sure.

I've noticed a not-inconsequential number of people saying "ugh, not just another white man but THE SAME white man?? Truly shows the BBC's lack of creativity in this department". To which I say, you nincompoops. The success of the show hasn't been measured by the showrunners identity credentials, it's been measured by how much they love the show. A black woman might be a fantastic showrunner in general terms, but if she doesn't care deeply about the history and legacy of this show in particular, then it will never work. Not for Doctor Who. Steven Moffat didn't survive 8 years of the most vile hatred a showrunner has ever received (maybe apart from, fittingly, the Supernatural fanbase) because he was white. He survived it because he genuinely loved the show, and only now that we've seen the alternatives to his reign have people started missing what he brought to the show. Russel didn't return because the BBC will only hire white guys. He returned because he loved the show and he has the combination of work ethic and passion to make it succeed. The only truly alarming thing about this news is how few competent showrunners there are within the BBC network who care about Doctor Who.

It really is a tragedy how much of the public perception of the Doctor Who fandom is still tied up in Superwholock to this day. It has far, far too much legacy behind it, and likely a future ahead of it, to be lumped in with the other two. It deserves better.

I'm also seeing a lot of people calling out other people for saying that Doctor Who will no longer be "woke", and I think that speaks to a sharp divide in what those two groups mean by that one word. As I say, I fully expect RTD to embrace LGBT rep in the show in one way or another, but at the risk of No True Scotsmanning, I doubt most fans would think not to expect that. What they DO object to, I think - certainly what I object to - is the way that political content I could 100% have handled in the days of RTD and Moffat was executed under Chibnall. Rusty never had a character go "I'm gay by the way! Did I mention how gay I am? *dies immediately*". Moffat got preachier in later seasons but Capaldi's speeches were passionately delivered and relevant to the characters in the scene. Nobody ever turned directly to the camera to speak to the audience. Understanding Capaldi's speeches made you feel smart; Whitaker's made you feel smarter than the writer thought you were. Not one of the characters was ever so obviously a fictionalised version of a real political figure as The Donald Trump Character from Chibnall's tenure. Walking away from serious racist conflicts to hammer home the message that humans are the real monsters was never part of the Doctor's M.O. under Rusty. It's preachy, it condescends to the audience, it betrays things that the characters should stand for, and above all it's just not very intelligent or imaginative writing. That is what people object to. The hope is not that the Doctor will stop destroying Capitalism or Orwellian Regimes or Slave Labour ("Oxygen", "The Lie of the Land", "Planet of the Ood") to become 'un-woke', the hope is that RTD will actually be able to craft relevant political subjects into actually entertaining sci-fi stories again.

If even RTD can't make Doctor Who work for modern audiences (unlikely but possible), then we have some idea of who REALLY made post-2005 Doctor Who work, and that is Murray Gold.

#Doctor Who

22 notes · View notes

mexicanwanderingsoul · 2 years ago

Text

Thanks for tagging me, @julesmars <333

Victor Frankenstein (2015)- gay sexual tension, mads scientists, yet another adaptation of Frankenstein, wonderful cast, monkey, what's not to love? Also, that movie got me through college... Victor complaining about his professors... Yeah, I get you, buddy. Me no longer being in college might be the reason I've not needed its comfort lately.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword- such a satisfying first two thirds. All of the time there is something happening on the screen, and it's so much fun to follow the movie's not linear storytelling... it's like if ADHD was a movie, and I love it. The music is amazing. The final fight kinda sucks because all their budget for the CGI went into that magnificent opening. Great casting. Gay vibes from the Earl of Mercia towards Vortigern. Nice visuals (expect for the final fight).

Sherlock Holmes/Game of Shadows- Guy Ritchie once again, which means the Watson/Holmes relationship is so very gay, gayer than the writers of BBC Sherlock ever dared to be. The first movie is romance, and that's a fact! Also… Jared Harris best Moriarty ever.

Curse of the Black Pearl- the best movie of that franchise so far. Jack Sparrow is my favorite Disney princess, I love me some trickster archtype characters.

The Incredible Hulk- have you ever had the feeling that one day they'll come for you just for being yourself, and you'll have to disappear and live in cognito with just your pet?

Hannibal (2001)- have you ever had the feeling that if they were to come for you, you'd love to outsmart them all and end up living in a pretty city, working on your dream job (curator in Hannibal's case, apparently) and being paid for taking care of old books and giving history lectures?

Copying Beethoven/Immortal beloved- I relate to the way Beethoven is portrayed in both movies. I count them as one because I saw C.P. when I was like 7 and some years later, thinking that that movie was on TV, I saw I.B., so I both films were forever linked to one another in my mind.

@yamy-brett @chaotic-history @captainknell @zegalba @eleyowza @sunsolii @chinesehanfu

Tagged by @mellow-killjoy :D

Rules: seven comfort films, seven people

I’m nottttt a movie girl so we’ll see :’)

Little Miss Sunshine (2006) - my favorite movie of all time, easily. I have seen this SO many times

Rodrick Rules (2011) - we always get together for movie nights, and watch whatever movie we have in mind, and then after it’s over we put on rodrick rules and fall asleep on top of one another on the couch. good times.

Ouran High School Host Club - the very first summer I was old enough to stay home alone, I would wait for my mom to leave for work, and I would pull all the pillows off the couch onto the floor and watch Ouran over and over again, absolutely enchanted. To this day, it still never fails to make me so happy, I will cry to the ending theme like it’s nobody’s business. So, that’s the closest thing I’ve got to a comfort show I guess.

The Hangover (2009) - uh. no comment.

Into the Spiderverse / Across the Spiderverse - yeah yeah we’re all obsessed with it, I know. I watched the original a whole bunch of times, can’t wait til the 2nd part is out on DVD so I can watch it on repeat :3

Call Me By Your Name (2017) - listen- for the longest time, I couldn’t stand this movie. I thought it was boring and confusing as fuck, everything is all subtext. Then I read the book and got obliterated by it, (mainly due to strangely similar events occurring in my life at the same time?). I had a LONG phase with this book; my copy is well-loved and covered in highlighter. when I watch this movie, it takes me back to the best summer I’ve ever lived.

Mean Girls (2004) - I can probably quote this all the way through :/

You guys don’t have to give any reasoning behind your choices! I just like to talk lmao. All of these are such basic choices but I’d call them modern classics :p

If you guys like tag games, join meee :D

@julesmars @cheerleadergee @frankairobong @i-am-an-atomic-bomb @mercurial-appovix05 @hyp-nagogia @darknessvisiible

#tagging game

106 notes · View notes

freddiekluger · 4 years ago

Text

Why Cap Being Internally Closeted Is Not Only Possible, But Valid Representation

i wrote this to a lot of mitski and onsind, so you can’t blame me for any feelings that bleed through

now i don’t know if it actually exists, but i’ve heard of there being a lot of discourse surrounding the captains story arc regarding his sexuality- i believe the general gist is that having a queer character that remains closeted to themselves is either unrealistic or ‘bad’ representation, and as someone who really treasures the captain and relates to his story so far a lot, i thought i might break this down a bit.

i’ve divded up every complaint i’ve heard about this into four main questions which i’ll be covering below the ‘keep reading’, because this is gonna be pretty comprehensive. full disclaimer i reference my experiences as an ex-evangelical non binary butch lesbian a couple times, and i spent a year studying repression and the psychological impacts of high demand sexual ethics for my graduating sociology paper, so this is coming with some background to it i swear

the big questions:

can you EVEN be gay and not know it????

but isn't this just ANOTHER coming out arc, and aren't we supposed to be moving beyond those?

but if cap can't have a relationship with a man because he's a ghost, what's the point?

since cap's dead, isn't this technically bury your gays, and isn't that bad?

1. "but is it really possible to not know? Isn't that bad representation?"

short answer: no and no.

before i get into the validity of the captain's ignorance about his own orientation as 21st century rep, let's break down how the hell the captain can be so clearly attracted to men and still not even consider the possibility that he might be gay, as brought to you by someone who literally experienced this shit.

the captain's particular situation is both a direct result of the lack of information around human sexuality he would have had (aka clear messaging that it's actually possible for him to be attracted to men. i don't mean acceptable or allowed, i mean physically capable of happening- the idea that orientations other than heterosexual exist and are available to him, a man), and a subconscious survival mechanism. the environment in which he lives is outright hostile to gay people, while the military man identity he has constructed for himself doesn't allow for any form of deviation from societal norms, let alone one so base level and major. as a result of this killer combo of information and environment, instincts take over and the mind does it's best to repress the ‘deviant’ feelings until a. one of these two things changes, or b. the act of repression becomes so destructive and/or exhuasting that it becomes impossible to maintain. the key to maintaining a long-term state of repression of desire is diverting that energy elsewhere, and a high-demand group such as the military is the perfect place for the captain to do this (this technqiue is frequented by religions and extremist ideologies worldwide, but that’s not really what we’re here to focus on).

while the brain is actively repressing ‘deviant’ feelings (aka gay shit), this doesn't mean you don't experience the feelings at all. when performed as a subconscious act of survival, the aim of repression is to minimise/transform the feelings into a state where they can no longer cause immediate danger, and something as big as sexual/romantic orientation is going to keep popping up, but as long as the individual in question never understands what they’re feeling, they’ll be able to continue relatively undisturbed. you know how in heist movies, the leader of the group will only tell each team member part of the plan so they can’t screw things up for everyone else if they get caught? it’s kind of like that.

this is how the captain appears to have operated in life AND in death, and it’s a relatively common experience for lgbtq people who’ve grown up in similar circumstances (aka with a lack of information and in an unfriendly-to-hostile environment), and accounts for how some people can even go on to get married and have children before realising that they’re gay and/or trans.

personally, while i can now identify what were strong homo crushes all the way back to childhood, at the time i genuinely had no idea. there was the underlying sense that i probably shouldn't tell people how attached i was to these girls because i would seem weird, and that my feelings were stronger than the ones other people used to describe friendships, but like-like them in the way that other girls like-liked boys? no way! actually scratch that, it wasn't even a no way, because i had no idea that i even could. i even had my own havers, at least in terms of the emotional hold and devotion she got from me, except she treated me way less well than cap’s beau. snatches of the existence of lgbt people made it through the cone of silence, i definitely heard the words gay and lesbian, but my levels of informations mirrored those that the captain would have had: virtually none, beyond the idea that these words exist, some people are them, and that's not something that we support or think is okay, so let's just not speak about it. despite only attending religious schools for the first couple years of primary, until i got my own technology and social media accounts to explore lgbtq content on my own- option a out of the two catalysts for change- the possibility of me being gay was not at all on my radar. don’t even get me started on how long it took me to explore butchness and my overall gender, two things which now feel glaringly obvious.

when shit starts to break down, you can also make the conscious choice to repress which can delay the eventual smashing down of the mental closet door for a time (essentially when the closet door starts to open, you just say ‘no thanks’ and shut it again by pointedly Not Thinking About It). in the abscence of identifying yourself by your attractions, it becomes quite common to identify with a lack- in my case, this meant becoming proud of how sensible and not boy crazy i was, and in the captain’s case, this means becoming proud of how sensible and not sensuous/wild (aka woman crazy) he was, identifying with his LACK of desire for women and partying (which, even in the 40s, involved the expectation of opposite sex romances and hook ups). i’m not saying that’s the only reason he’s a rule follower, but i think the contrast between About Last Night and Perfect Day pretty much support this. (the captain getting on his high horse about general party antics that he inherently felt excluded from because of underlying awareness of his difference & his tendency to project his regimented expectations of himself onto others, vs. joining in the reception party, awareness of how the environment supports difference in the form of clare and sam, and relaxing his own rules by dancing with men- the captain doesn’t mind a party when feels like he has a place there.)

so the captain was operating in a high demand, highly regulated environment (primarily the military, but also early 20th century England itself), with regimented roles, rules, and expectations. working on the assumption that he wouldn't have had out/disclosing lgbt friends, he would have had little to no exposure to lgbt identities, and what information he did receive would have been hushed and negatively geared. while my world started to open up when i started high school was allowed to have my own phone + instagram account, resulting in me realising something wasn't quite 'right' within a few years (making me a relatively early realiser compared to those who don't come out to themselves until adulthood), in life the captain never had that experience. he didn't receive the information he needed, his environment didn't grow less hostile. with the near-exception of havers related heartbreak, his well disciplined and lifelong method of repression never became destructive/exhaustive enough to permanently override the danger signals in his mind and allow him to put his feelings into words. neither of the most common catalysts for change happened for him, so he continued as usual, even after his death.

BUT, and here’s where we come to why this is actually great representation, arrival of mike and Alison represents the opening up of new world. for the first time, the captain is actively made aware of the fact that his environment is no longer hostile, and better than that, it’s affirming. he’s also getting access to positively geared information about lgbtq people and identities, so option a of the two catalysts for change is absolutely present, and resoundingly positive.

the captain’s arc is also relatively unique as it acknowledges the oppressive nature of his environment, but actually focuses on the internal consequences, and the way that systems like those that the captain lived in succeed because they turn us into our own oppressors. for whatever reason, we repress ourseslves, and often can’t help it, and i find that the significance of the journey to overcome that is often overlooked in more mainstream queer media. perhaps it’s just not very cinematic, or it remains too confronting for cishet audiences, but ghosts manages to touch on it with a lovely amount of humour and hope. Jamie Babbit’s But I’m A Cheerleader is another favourite piece of queer media for the same reasons.

not only does it show this, but as the captain continues to get gayer and lean into some of his less conventional traits (like an interest in fashion and the wedding planning), it shows lgbt people who have been or are going through this that there CAN be a positive outcome. it takes a lot to unlearn all the things that have painted you as wrong, especially when a massive institution is desperate to continue doing so, but you can do it, you can be happy, and it's never too late. (i've been meaning to say that last point for ages for ages, but a mutual beat me to it here)

2. not just another coming out arc

i absolutely support the demand for queer stories that don’t center around coming out (it’s like shrodinger’s queer: if you’re not coming out on screen, do you really even exist?), but i don’t align with the criticisms that the captain should already be out. for the reasons mentioned above, the captain’s particular story is fairly different to the ‘young white teenager who mostly knows gay is fine, it’s just everyone else that’s got the problem, but have a unremarkably straight sounding soundtrack, a trauma porn romance, and a cishet saviour’ that we keep seeing. the captain’s ongoing journey with his sexuality emphasises the overaching theme of the show: recovering from trauma and humanity’s endless capacity for growth, and i think that’s worth showing over and over again until it stops being true.

additionally, while the captain’s journey regarding his gayness is a big part of his character and story, ghosts makes it clear that it’s not the ONLY part, and being gay is far from his ONLY characteristic or dramatic/comedic engine. the fact that i’m even having to congratulate ghosts for doing that really shows how much film and television is struggling huh.

while all queer media is, and should be, subject to criticism, i think if it helps even one person then it absolutely deserves to exist, and i can say i’ve found the captain’s journey to be the lgbt story i’ve found that’s closest to my own, which says a lot considering he’s a dead world war 2 soldier who hangs out with other ghosts including a slutty Tory, a georgian noblewoman, and a literal caveman.

3. if captain gay, why he no have boyfriend????

another complaint that’s been circulating is that since the captain doesn’t, and likely won’t, have a boyfriend, that makes him Bad Representation because it follows the sad single gay trope. i kind of get the logic from this one, and a lot of it is up to personal interpretation, but part of me really enjoys the fact that the captain’s journey towards accepting himself is separated from having a relationship.

coming out is often paired with having romantic/sexual relationships (either as the reason or reward for doing so). my own struggle with repression didn't end the second that came out, and i still struggle with letting myself develop & acknowledge romantic feelings as a result of actively shutting them (and most other feelings in general) down for years, and statistics show that lgbtq youth in particular tend not to live out their 'teen years' until their twenties. by not giving cap a relationship straight away, ghosts separates the act of claiming identity and sexual orientation from finding a partner (two things which are, more often than not, separate), and also provides some very nice validation to folks who have yet to have the relationship they want, especially when lots of mainstream queer media is now jumping on the cishet media bandwagon of acting as if every person loses their virginity and has a life defining relationship at sixteen. it’s essentially a continuation of the earlier theme of “it’s never too late”, and who’s to say the captain won’t get a gay bear ghost boyfriend to go haunt nazis with??? people die all the time, it could happen.

(also, i think him and julian will have definitely shagged at least once. it was a low moment for both of them and they refuse to speak of it.)

lots of asexual/ace spectrum fans have come out to say how much they’ve loved being able to headcanon cap as ace, and while that’s not a headcanon i personally have, i think it’s brilliant that ace fans feel seen by his character- we’re all in this soup together babey (and sorry for cursing everyone still reading this with that cap/julian headcanon. i’m just a vessel)

4. “okay, but cap’s a GHOST- doesn’t that make this Bury Your Gays?”

this is a bit of a complex one, but i’m going to say no as a result of the following break down.

Bury Your Gays (BYG), aka the trope where lgbtq characters are consistently killed off (and often with a heavy dose of trauma, while cishet characters survive) is probably one of my least favourite lgbt media tropes. BYG has two main points:

1. the lgbt character is killed, thus removing them from story entirely- hence the use of the phrase ‘killed OFF’ (killed off of the show/film)

2. the character’s death reinforces the perception that lgbtq people’s lives must end in tragedy, instead of being long and fulfilling, or are inherently less valuable. bonus points if the character is killed in a hate crime or confesses same-gender love right before they die (that one implies that queer love genuinely has no future!)

not every death of an lgbtq character is bury your gays, and i personally feel that the captain is an example of an lgbt death that isn’t.

first of all, while the captain is dead, so are the vast majority of characters in ghosts. the premise of the show means that death is not the end of the line for its characters- for most of them, it’s the only reason we get to see them on screen at all. as such, the captain being dead doesn’t remove him from the story, so point one is irrelevant.

at the time of posting, we don’t know how or why the captain died, but we've had nothing to suggest his death was in any way related to his latent sexuality, so his mysterious death doesn’t actively play into the supposedly inherent tragedy of queer lives, nor the supposedly lesser value. that’s as of right now- since we don’t know the circumstances of his death it’s a little tough to analyse properly. while the captain’s life absolutely features missed opportunities and it’s fair share of tragedy, hope and growth (which seems to be the theme of this post) abounds in equal measure. the captain may not be alive, but we DO get to see him growing and having a relatively happy existence, that for the most part seems to be getting even better as he learns to open up and be himself unapologetically- that doesn’t feel like BYG to me.

while writng this, it’s just occured to me that death really is a second chance for most of the ghosts, especially with the introduction of alison. from mary learning to read, to thomas finding modern music, they’ve all been given the chance explore things they never could have while they were alive, and hopefully grow enough to one day be sucked off move on.

in conclusion,

i love the captain very much and i hope his arc lives up to the standards it’s set so far. i don’t know where to put this in this post, but i’d alo like to say i LOVE how in Perfect Day, the captain wasn’t used as an educational experienced for fanny at all. i am very tired of people expecting me to be the walking talking homophobe educator and rehabilitator, so the fact that it’s alison and the other ghosts that call fanny out while the captain just gets to have fun with the wedding organisation made me very happy.

here’s a few other cap posts that i’ve done:

the captain’s arc if adam and the film crew stayed

a possible cap coming out

the captain backstory headcanon

if you’ve read this far,

thank you!

also check out @alex-ghosts-corner , this post inspired me very much to write this

#i subluxed all my fingers and wrists doing this but worth it #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts headcanon #bbc ghosts analysis #the captain #caphavers #the captain x havers #ben willbond #lgbt representation #lgbt rep #queer media #lgbt media

206 notes · View notes

inkdemonapologist · 4 years ago

Photo

We briefly split up while trying to get murder mystery clues in our latest batim cthulhu session; Team Polite Boys is ready to go!!

More out-of-context quotes from last session under the cut!

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Joey] Yeah, that makes sense, he probably would've pocketed it, [Sammy] aRE YOU STEALING?! [Henry] Joey!!! [Joey] I mean...................................yeah,

[Joey] He just wants to find the slick stone, and fix things, and go back to being an animation studio! That'd be nice! [GM] The eternal dream... [Jack] Animation studio, and then it has a little asterisk, and in the fine print it mentions that they also deal in the occult. [Joey] Just a little bit. [Jack] Little an occult, [Sammy] As a treat! [Joey] The occult does not own more than 5% of Joey Drew Studios stock. [GM] ...Is that Prophet Sammy's share, [Joey] He DOES seem to be the one investing in it the most!!

[Joey] There's definitely room for Jack to speak up as the one who knows Peter, but Joey is just going to go up to the front desk -- [Sammy] (Joey has now met him, so it's less weird,) [Joey] -- and ask if Petey is around! [Sammy] (...oh my goodness, Joey,)

[GM, as Peter] "And I could find someone to be a guide for you tomorrow, be less likely to fall in a sinkhole." [Joey] *thoughtfully* I do like not falling in sinkholes,

[Jack] *rolls* Aww.... [GM] Uh-oh, [Jack] No, it's-- it's not a failed roll. I thought it was very briefly and, gOT MY HOPES UP I GUESS???

[Joey] But that's going to be a very.... difficult............ [Sammy] I dunno, maybe Henry can talk to Fowler. Henry's like......... a,, caring person! Henry knows how families work.... Has, empathy,,, [Joey] Just send Henry and Jack to go talk with Fowler, and Joey and Sammy go.... sit on their hands. Don't do anything. DON'T MAKE THINGS WORSE

[GM] Mostly he's known for having more money than sense-- [Joey] (More dollars than cents? :D ) [Sammy] Well, you should get along great.

[Jack] Team Sad Boys to the sad boy, and... Team No Sense,

[Joey] Hey, can we borrow a brain cell? [Sammy] No, we only have one! That's why we never split up!!

[Henry] Jack is wondering how these guys got through Haiti. [Sammy] Well. It took us ten tries.

[after reading Alice in Wonderland] [Jack] *laughing* Do I need to roll a sanity check? [GM] One thing at a time; let me do a little typing-- [Jack] Oh bOY! ....I was just making a funny joke...! [GM] *sends secret message* Okay! [Jack] OH BOY,,, Jack just wanted a nice way to fill the time... [GM] Uh, do make a sanity check.

[Joey] Maybe it's because Joey has Bendy in him, that he can't see something in that book. [Sammy] (Hmm....... Bendy-Vision.........) [Sammy] (!!!! SILLYVISION)

[Sammy] Gonna tell Joey to, don't look up at the door, [Joey] Joey will almost start to look, and then catch himself the moment he realises why Sammy might be telling him this. [GM] This is why the Lurker covered his eyes that other time!!! [Joey] LiSTEN,

[Joey] ...I just noticed Joey fits the Gays Don't Drive thing...

[Sammy] Sammy looks very suspicious, but that's just his face.

[Joey] I like how Sammy apparently has ink-sense now, like spidey-sense [Sammy] YeaH ITS GREAT!!!! Sammy's very stressed!!!!!

[Joey] Once they've left the mansion and gotten far enough away, Joey's going to drop his over-friendly demeanour for a moment and mutter that he hates people like that guy. [GM] .............................................. is this a Kyle, [Joey] YES.

[Jack] I assume that Joey has given us money, at some point? [Joey] [Jack] He's not just expecting us to fund this out of our pocket, hopefully??? [Joey] ............................ has anyone brought this up to Joey,

[Henry] What insanity did Jack pick up, by the way? [Jack] Hmm.... [Jack] [Jack] Oh, y'know,

[Henry] Roll Charm to start a conversation in a normal, non-awkward way!!

[Jack] A nice change of topic to-- maybe not lighten the mood, but, [Sammy] dredge the mood up from the bottom of the lake,

[Joey] He keeps his hand on Sammy, trying to be reassuring that he's there to help Sammy with this, but also making sure it still looks NOT IN A GAY WAY, as much as Joey Drew can do.

[GM] Okay, one sec. [Joey] .....the longer we sit here waiting, the more I recalibrate that scene I just described to be gayer and gayer. [Sammy] Oh no. You have to hurry, or else it'll be retconned until they're making out on the porch when Joey knocks!

[Joey] I did hear that this guy is quite handsome, but I think right now Joey's too concerned about Sammy to play into Charm. [GM] Charm the... recent widower??? That seems.... [Joey] Yeah, y'know, as you do-- it could work! Just because his family is dead doesn't mean he's dead! [Sammy] Joey. [Jack] This IS Joey "Flirts With A Married Man" Drew, [GM] TRUE. That's true.

[GM] Fowler knows this spiritual consultant is legitimate because he's put him in contact with his family, that had recently passed away, on more than one occasion. [Henry] (Passed away on more than one occasion? Man, that's rough.) [Sammy] (I mean, we've done that!) [Henry] We have! It's rough!!

[GM, as Fowler] "A lot of newbies think magic feels weird when they're not used to it, y'know." [Sammy] Sammy's response is going to be to make uncomfortable eye contact, for a very long time.

[Sammy] Let me poll the audience: Should I be stopping Trenchcoat. [Jack] Out of character, I want to say, hesitantly no? [Henry] Yeah, same. [Sammy] I'm way more suspicious of Fowler than Trenchcoat, weirdly. [Henry] I want to let Trenchcoat go, and then track him down and grill him later. [Jack] I feel like Trenchcoat is suspicious in the same way that we're suspicious. [Sammy] YES.

[GM] I do appreciate that you guys were like "this guy's a shoplifter" and then promptly shoplifted.

[Joey] Why are you everywhere that we are? [GM, as Trenchcoat Guy] "I could ask you the same thing," he remarks, seeming vaguely amused. [Joey] Well I asked it first!!!

[Trenchcoat Guy describes the teleportation portal into Fowler's basement] [Joey] Okay, that is... that is definitely suspicious, [Sammy] "sUSPICIOUS?!?"

[Sammy] Sammy is squinting at Joey as he leaves.... [Sammy] ...OH, [Sammy] Oh he needs a drink I bet; I'm not going to look at him actually, never mind. [Jack] ...I know you said "Not going to look at him” -- I briefly misheard as "Not going to lick him" [Sammy] I'm alSO NOT GOING TO DO THAT,

[GM] He says that until today, you guys were the most suspicious thing he'd come across. [Sammy] I mean... he's not wrong.

[Joey] (Does someone want to grab his contact information) [Sammy] Oh, Jack, do you want to do that? [Jack] Jack is... going to... not do that, [Sammy] ...oh. [Sammy] ...............is Jack okay?!

[Joey] And then Joey... grabs Henry? [GM] Henry is just getting hugged. [Joey] Ah. [Henry] Oh, hugs back! [Henry] He's hugging both of them, I'm guessing.

[GM] The Lurker sits down on the ground. [Joey] (Does he sit down normally for a person,) [GM] He just kind of falls backwards. And then goes "Ow!" [Henry] *laughs* Yeah, you can't do that when you're more than 3 feet tall.

[Jack] Concerned Jack faces.... I was going to say noises, but,

[Jack] Did we ever get Trenchcoat's name? [Sammy] No. [Joey] No. [Henry] He's the new Binoculars. [Sammy] I'm delighted every time Sammy gets to call someone Not Their Name.

[GM] It's just a normal, scrawled address, for a Mr. Polk. [Sammy] .........is it really, [GM] Yes. [Sammy] OH GOOD??? I didn't say it, but for the first paragraph of that audiolog I was like "nORMAN???" [Joey] .... AW, NOW I HAVE TO HIRE HIM!!! THREN!!!!! [Sammy] Oh he was working with microfilm too! So he could probably-- [Henry] It sounded like he was gonna be out of a job soon, [Joey] DAMMIT!!

#call of cthulu: haunted hijinx #Jack Fain #Henry Stein #when in doubt just keep drawing #this session was a heckin delight #everyone is Doing Their Best

127 notes · View notes

katytheinspiredworkaholic · 4 years ago

Text

WIP Wednesday

Untitled Fic (Correspondence)

Summary/Story So Far: HotchReid, slow burn, AU where Reid never joined the FBI, but got roped into consulting for the LA field office while working and teaching at CalTech. Hotch gets an email from a fellow agent, and they start to work on cases together - until they start talking on a regular basis. Regular becomes frequent, frequent becomes constant.

They have been dating for some time now, and while they had evolved from written correspondence to phone conversations, they still haven’t crossed those last few barriers. They still haven’t met. They still don’t know what they look like. But at this point it doesn’t matter, because they are already in love. They know they will meet, one day, and that's enough. But then the next step in their relationship is taken right out of their hands... once again, thanks to a case.

Official Posting Date: 04/03/2021

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (NSFW) (Part 5)

(Set in season 6/7, unbeta’d, first draft)

(sometimes I’m worried I’m giving too much of the good stuff away, but I’m also just too excited about it so here you go. Big milestone scene, or half of one anyway. Don’t worry about timelines yet, this takes place about halfway through the fic. It’s going to be a LONG story. This is a very, VERY rough draft just fyi)

The day Spencer sees Hotch the first time, is a complete accident.

He walks into the CalTech physics labs for his students, expecting to do the usual Monday rounds of checking on projects and thesis statements and arguments prepared for the Ph.D. board of directors -- and instead finds all of his doctorate students gathered around the projector screen where the news is being played twelve feet high.

“What’s going on?”

“There was another terrorist bombing in Dallas this morning,” Kimmy Li, his direct office assistant and teacher’s aide, tells him. Sitting cross-legged on top of her desk and holding tea that looks like it’s stone cold now. “They brought in homeland security and the FBI, and it’s all over national news now.”

“That’s where you’re from, isn’t it?” he asks, gentle and wary. When she nods worriedly, he leans against her desk with her and looks to the screen where the news reporter is summarizing the attacks once more.

Hotch is probably there. If they called in the FBI. He pulls out his phone to text him, ask him when he’s landing in Dallas, when Kimmy nudges his arm with her elbow and points to the screen. “Isn’t that your friend?”

He looks up and sure enough, there’s JJ. Her long blonde hair straight and professional, looking sharp in a dark brown pant suit and standing in front of about a dozen different outlet microphones. Her words are clear and concise, explaining a prepared press release he’s sure she wrote out in its entirety just on the flight from Quantico. Behind her is the Dallas police chief, and a few more agents all looking stern and very professional as well. He can only see an intimidating, dark-haired woman, a bald African-American man, and someone who he’s fairly certain is David Rossi.

“Yep, that’s JJ.”

“And is that David Rossi?”

“JJ is going to be doing a lot of explaining the next time we chat on the phone,” he says with a slight smirk. He didn’t even know the man was out of retirement, nor that he was now working with his long time friend. Spencer didn’t like to pry at her about her work or her team. She’d been bounced all over the past year or two, stolen by the pentagon and the State Department, only to be snatched right back by the FBI once more. He didn’t even know anything about her team, and hadn’t bothered to ask --

If he had, he would have asked her if she worked with Hotch a long time ago. But the BAU itself had grown exponentially the past few years. They had multiple teams all over the country, now, and more than one stationed in Quantico at the FBI federal headquarters. The odds were slim to none.

“We ask everyone here in the metropolitan area to remain vigilant, this team is very organized and we believe them to be a home-grown terrorist group. These kinds of groups blur racial and socio-economic lines. It could be anyone. We ask people to stay in their homes, avoid crowded areas, and to divert all traffic around the city instead of through it.”

“She looks good,” Kimmy smiles, a little red in her cheeks.

“She’s taken,” he stage-whispers to her. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“All the good ones are,” Kimmy mumbles, just as JJ looks to her left off screen.

“We will take questions in just a moment, but first our Unit Chief has a few words for the press and the group we are trying to find.” She steps aside, giving a small quirk of her mouth (not a smile, not after everyone that has died today) and makes room for a broad-shouldered, black haired man in a polished professional suit to take the podium. Smoothing his tie, mouth set in a thin line in his stern, authoritative face. Dark eyes, dark hair, dark lashes, the man commanded authority, and even Kimmy (who was gayer than a maypole) made a hum of appreciation.

Spencer smirked and couldn’t help but agree. Unfortunately, he was also taken.

Then, the man begins to speak.

“My name is Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, and I’m addressing the leader of the terrorist group that attacked the Capitol building this morning.”

Spencer’s stomach drops to his shoes.

His mouth parts on a sharp, pained gasp.

And his ears ring like an air raid siren, but it doesn’t drown out the deep, familiar tones of the man on the screen.

The man who had whispered huskily into his ear two nights ago, who had wished him good morning last week when he’d just gotten back from a Florida case, who had told Spencer he loved him exactly nineteen days ago and rocked his world to his core.

Now Spencer was staring him in the face, twelve feet high, on a projector screen in front of all his students, and if he hadn’t been leaning against Kimmy’s desk he knows he would have fallen over.

Hotch.

“We have your demands. We know what you want. And you’re not getting them.”

There’s a collective gasp around the lab, and Spencer feels his jaw tighten because this was either a ploy that was going to try and draw the unsubs out into the open, or part of the demand to get the public against the FBI presence. Risky, either way, and he swallows hard as he listens to Hotch lay down the fucking law. Back straight, head high, unblinking and not showing an inch of emotion on his face.

And it’s so… very hot.

And he’s so… extremely handsome.

Spencer is fucked.

He watches the whole press conference, scared to blink and miss one millisecond, soaks up every word and facial tick and nuance he knows by heart in Hotch’s voice. But now he has facial expressions, dark eyes and a strong jaw, to match to it.

“Are you okay, Dr. Reid?” Kimmy asks him, when he finally blinks and realizes his eyes sting from staring so hard, and she looks distraught at her hometown being targeted so viciously. He should be comforting her, not the other way around.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine, I just… I know that team. Not just JJ. Could you,” he pauses, and can’t believe the words that are about to come out of his mouth. “Would you mind finding me a copy of that press conference and emailing it to me? I have some phone calls to make this morning, but I need to watch it again.”

Kimmy stares at him. Because Spencer never needs to rewatch or reread anything. He has an eidetic memory.

But he doesn’t explain himself, just awaits an answer and gives her a grimace of a smile when she nods still a little stunned. “Thanks, Kimmy. Let me know if you need anything.” And with an awkward pat on her shoulder, he bee-lines straight for his office and sits behind his desk. Head in his hands. Hotch’s eyes burned into his memory. His voice and his mouth and his jaw and his…everything.

He still has a half typed message in the text box. And he can’t even bring himself to complete it.

(tbc...)

#THIS IS JUST A SNIPPET #This is almost outline format for me but GOD I didn't want to wait until next week for it #I'm just building and building up the hype for this story #I hope if lives up to the expectations #but also it's just fun making moodboards for everything #THIS SATURDAY I'll get the masterpost set up so keep an eye out #But posting begins NEXT SATURDAY #Who's as ready as I am?#HotchReid #Heid #katyswriting

63 notes · View notes

emy-loves-you · 4 years ago

Text

(Slightly) Less Useless, (Definitely) Gayer Chapter 2

Kyle is Shook

Patton and Virgil decide to stir up some chaos at Patton’s bakery.

Chapter 1 | Masterlist | Chapter 3

Mentions of sex, but that’s about it.

After the Pancake Fight (and subsequent flour fight) Virgil’s boyfriends went over their schedule for the day. Virgil pulled up the calendar on his phone, unsurprised to see that he had nothing scheduled today. Judging by Remus’ excitement, neither he nor Janus had anything scheduled today either.

“Well, I need to check in with Katherine soon, but other than that I’m free today. Lo doesn’t have any classes or shifts today, and Ro doesn’t have rehearsals this week. Are you guys busy?” Patton asked, standing up to collect plates.

Janus groaned, burying his head in his hands. “We also have nothing scheduled for today.” He turned to Remus, who had started bouncing in his chair. “Can we not do this another day, Love?”

Remus shook his head. “Nope! If we don’t do it today, you’re just gonna hold it off until I forget about it!” He leaned over and planted a kiss on Janus’ cheek, purposefully making a wet squelch as he pulled away. “And that’s not hapennin, babe.”

“Wait a minute,” Roman said suddenly, pointing at Remus. “Are you and Janus-”

“Boyfriends? Friends with benefits? Lovers?” Remus asked, getting up to sit in Janus’ lap. “Yes! All of the above! We don’t really put a label on it” He gently took Janus’ hands, which were still covering his face, and wrapped them around Remus’ waist. “Either way, this hunk of man-meat is all mine! And I’m sorry, bro, but I ain’t sharin’ him.”

Virgil laughed as Roman’s jaw dropped. “What’s wrong, Princey? Cat got your tongue? I already told you that Remus and Janus were dating.”

Roman sputtered. “Well, yes. But I... I didn’t... it never really clicked… I didn’t realize-”

Remus laughed, wiping imaginary tears from his eyes. “Aw, didn’t realize that you’re not the only twin getting dick every night?” He saw Roman blush and doubled over in laughter. “Oh Ro, you sweet oblivious child… never change bro, never change.”

Logan cleared his throat, sparing his boyfriend from any further embarrassment. “If I may ask, what task was Janus acting so… hesitant towards?” He reached up to adjust his glasses. “If said task is nothing too personal, I should be no issue for Roman and me to assist you.”

Janus groaned again, burying his head between Remus’ shoulder blades. Remus cackled. “We’re getting rid of the rug today! You should come over! We can show off the house, and you can help us decide how to get rid of it! Janus can’t distract all of us!”

Virgil got up to help Patton load the dishwasher. “Hey Pat, think I can go to the cafe with you? It’s been a while since I’ve talked to Katherine.”

Patton nodded, closing the dishwasher. “Sure thing, Kiddo! We can even get the others some tea and coffee while we’re there!” With their plans set in motion, everyone got ready for the day. Everyone but Janus and Remus were still in their pajamas, so they all went upstairs to change. Luckily for Virgil, Patton had washed Virgil’s rain-soaked clothes last night. Remus and Janus were still covered in flour, but they were heading home so it didn’t really matter. Once everyone was ready and Virgil had their drink orders jotted down, they departed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Virgil had a sudden realization as they pulled into the parking lot of Puppy Pastries. “Hey, Pat?” Patton hummed, slightly distracted. “Does Katherine know?”

“About what?” Patton asked, turning off the car.

Virgil huffed. “About us?”

“What about u- oh.” Patton blushed, suddenly finding his pants very interesting. “No, she doesn’t. I haven’t talked to her since before Valentine’s day, so…”

“So she doesn’t know that we’re together?” Patton shook his head. Virgil smirked. “Wanna mess with her?” Patton looked up, his eyes wide. “Nothing bad,” Virgil assured him. “Just acting as we did before V-day, then acting lovey-dovey for no apparent reason. We’ll tell her after, I swear.”

Patton sat there for a few moments, biting his lip. Virgil found that way too sexy. “Promise we’ll tell her after?”

Virgil smiled, leaning over to kiss Patton. “Pinky promise.” He said fake-solemnly, holding out his pinky. Patton giggled, wrapping his pinky around Virgil’s before peppering kisses all over Virgil’s face. Virgil laughed, accepting the kisses before stepping out of the car. “Give me 2 minutes, then come in.”

Virgil strolled into Puppy Pastries, nearly sighing at the soft chimes made from opening the door. It had been almost a full week since Virgil had last been here, and he hadn’t realized how much of a routine this had become until now. He sauntered up to the counter, noting the blue pronoun bracelet on the other’s wrist.

“Rich Stranger! Nice to see you again!” Kyle smiled, already turning to prepare Virgil’s drink. “I was starting to miss your $100 tips and snarky attitude.”

“It’s nice to be back,” Virgil admitted, deciding to not grab a sucker this time. Patton probably wouldn’t want to kiss him if he’s sticky. “So, how’s life treating you?”

“Same as always,” Kyle replied, setting the drink down in front of Virgil. “My partner’s been gone all week visiting family, so I’ve been bored out of my mind.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you were in a relationship.”

Kyle huffed, giving Virgil a small smile. “I usually don’t talk about my love life with strangers. Especially ones that flirt with my taken boss.”

Virgil smirked. “We’re not strangers. I’ve been ordering coffee from here for weeks.”

Kyle laughed. “I don’t even know your name.”

Virgil held out his hand. “Virgil Storm.”

Kyle shook his hand. “Kyle Picani. Or Katherine, depending on the day.” He turned to clean up the counter behind him. “Boss man’s late today, still want me to convince you that it’s on the house?”

Virgil grinned. “I actually saw Angel pull up just as I walked in. Wanna mess with him?”

Kyle side-eyed him. “I’m listening.”

Virgil took a sip of his tea. “All you have to do is ask if I want anything else. Y’know, the standard ‘will that be all’ bullshit.”

Kyle nodded, turning back to face Virgil. “That I can do.”

Patton chose that moment to walk into the bakery, the soft chimes alerting Virgil to his presence. Virgil turned around to face Patton, his hand reaching to pull out his wallet. Patton’s hair was messier than it had been in the car, and Virgil noticed that he’d unbuttoned the top two buttons on his shirt. “Hello, Kyle! Sorry I’m late.” He turned to look at Virgil, subtly biting his lip as he put his hands on his hips. “Oh. Hello again. I hope you’re putting that wallet back in your pocket.” Virgil internally groaned as Patton squeezed his own hips. So we’re playing THAT game, huh?

Flirt Mode: Activated

Anxiety smirked, leaning back against the counter. “Angel! Long time, no see. We were just talkin’ about ya.” He opened up his wallet, almost laughing at how annoyed Patton looked at the action. “Actually, I have a game for us to play.”

Patton tilted his head to the side, knitting his eyebrows together. “What type of game?”

Anxiety smirked, dropping $20 into the tip jar. He watched Patton gape for a moment before turning to Kyle. He was watching with an amused expression, probably already realizing the rule of this ‘game.’ “Will that be all?” He asked, waggling his eyebrows.

Anxiety laughed, dropping another $20 into the jar. “Yeah, two caramel frappuccinos, please.” He turned to face Patton, who was still gaping. “You okay, Angel?” It was taking all of Anxiety’s willpower to not laugh at Patton’s expressions.

Patton sputtered. “You know you don’t have to pay! Why are you still tipping?” He squeaked- that’s right, squeaked, like a mouse- as Anxiety dropped another $20 into the jar. “I swear, one day I’ll get rid of that tip jar! If only so you won’t spend $100 every time you come here!”

Anxiety tilted his head so that he was looking up at Patton through his bangs. He gave Patton his best pout. “But I like spending $100 every time I come here. Are you going to deprive me of my right as a paying customer?” He quickly turned away from Patton’s reddening face, knowing he would crack if he kept looking.

Kyle’s shoulders were shaking in silent laughter as he asked again. “Will that be all?” His shoulders shook even more, probably from Patton’s expression as Anxiety dropped another $20. Anxiety gave Kyle the rest of his order before turning around to face Patton.

Patton sighed, his shoulders dropping slightly. “Is there anything I can do to stop you from tipping?” His face got slightly redder when Anxiety dropped another $20.

Anxiety smirked, tapping the jar with his index finger. He hummed as if he was mulling it over. “Well, there is one thing you could do.”

Patton looked hopeful for a second, before realizing that Anxiety wasn’t going to continue without prompting. He sighed, “What could I do?” He sighed again as Anxiety dropped another $20.

Anxiety got up, making sure that Kyle had a good view as he strolled up to Patton. He lightly grabbed Patton’s chin, tilting his face upwards slightly. “Well, asking questions is what’s making me tip. So if you can find another use for that pretty mouth of yours-” He wasn’t able to continue, mainly because Patton’s lips were now on his.

Virgil pressed forward, deepening the kiss. While acting like Anxiety had been a real confidence booster, he was still scared that he was pushing things too far. And while Anxiety helped Virgil work around his fears, Patton’s lips made all of Virgil’s fears melt away in an instant. Soon, there was no anxiety (or Anxiety). There was no time constraint. There was no worrying. There was only Patton, on his mouth and around his neck and-

“What the fuck?”

Patton jumped away with a squeak. Virgil turned to look at Kyle, who was definitely not expecting his boss to kiss Virgil. Virgil strolled over to the cash register, dropping another $20 into the jar. He laughed as he heard Patton groan behind him. He grabbed his tea before turning to face Patton. His face was tomato red and he seemed torn between burying his face in his hands and going to comfort Kyle. Virgil sighed, sipping his tea. “Do you wanna tell him or do you want me to?”

Patton’s face got even redder (if possible) before turning to face Kyle. “Do you remember what I told you about Vee?”

Kyle snorted. “The one guy you’ve had a crush on since October, even though you’ve never seen his face before? You bring him up in almost every conversation.” He seemed oblivious to the way Virgil’s eyebrows shot up, or the way Patton’s blush grew even deeper. “Speaking of which, didn’t you have a date with him last night? And what does Vee have to do with you swapping spit with a stranger?”

Before Patton could die of embarrassment, Virgil intervened. He stuck his hand out in greeting. “Virgil Storm, also known as Vee, at your service.” He almost laughed at the look Kyle gave him. Kyle stared at Virgil, then his hand, then Patton, then Virgil’s hand, then Patton, then Virgil. Before Virgil could say anything else, Kyle had doubled over in laughter. Virgil chuckled, dropping his hand.

It took almost a full minute for Kyle to stop laughing. “Let me get this straight.” Kyle said, wiping away a stray tear.

“Good luck with that.” Both Virgil and Patton said, turning to look at the other fondly.

Kyle snorted. “So the guy you’ve had a crush on for months is also the guy you’ve had a crush on for these past few weeks, and neither of you realized it until just recently?” He laughed at their sheepish expressions. “Oh my gosh. Just so you know, Pat, I’m holding this over you forever.”

Patton sputtered a little before sighing, “Yeah, I deserve that.” He turned to look at Virgil. “Now can you stop tipping obscene amounts? And don’t think I didn’t see you tipping while Kyle was talking!” Virgil smiled, dropping more money in the jar. Patton groaned.

“C’mon, Pat. Y’know you love me.”

“That doesn’t make this any less annoying.”

Virgil laughed, grabbing the drinks off of the counter. He noticed Patton grabbing another tea and a muffin, probably to give to Virgil later. Virgil smirked, reminding himself to put $20 in Patton’s back pocket later.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @arodynamic-enby @sanderssides-angst @whatishappeningrightnow @idont-freaking-know @cute-and-angsty-princess @artsy-enby09 @girl-who-reads @drarrymalecsolangelo @count-woelaf @im-an-anxious-wreck

#sanders sides fic #useless gays #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #Janus Sanders #remus sanders

26 notes · View notes

hibiscera · 3 years ago

Note

☕️ DCAU salt

Inhales. Exhales.

I could give you a laundry list of my issues with the acclaimed cartoon Justice League. Maybe because when I watched it at a young age, I retained very little so I don’t have a lot of nostalgia for it. I actually feel really bad that I’m so harsh on it because it’s so well loved but!! Alas. 😔

Note that I still haven’t watched JLU and that’s because I’m waiting to finish watching through STAS with my boyfriend first. (Even so, I have my issues from things I do know and from clips I've watched. I do know that the Shazam episode of JLU is going to make me VERY upset when I watch it. I also know that J’onn gets married off to some random human woman and kind of just chucked aside?? I don’t like that at all.)

Putting this under a cut because it got long, so JL salt under the cut:

But here’s some of my grievances that bother me every day of my life.

1. Superman’s Characterization Makes Me So Mad. No amount of “it makes sense because of how STAS ends” will ever make me okay with it. They sucked the Clark out of him, which imo is ESSENTIAL to a well written Superman.

He has his moments, but there were soooo many times where he felt so off and like… I can GET behind him getting a little jaded because of his experience with Darkseid!! But I think it’s uh… not worth much if it’s never addressed and we’re left with a Superman who feels so flat and lacking compassion. 😵‍💫 I think the episode with the Justice Lords would have been THE place to address this, but instead the episode was like. Not great. (I have a lot of problems with that concept to begin with anyways but MOVING ON)

Batman's characterization bothers me too, but Superman is the one I get extra angry over.

2. This one is a relatively minor complaint but it still gets me sometimes.

Okay I swear this isn’t JUST because I love J’onnClark I promise this isn’t me wishing the show was gayer. I can only expect so much from an early 2000s Superhero cartoon. But like, the Amazo episode. I LOVE that episode, it's probably one of my favorites since it's such a great J'onn episode. But the fact that the episode was like... Okay the way it was written, you would THINK it would be Superman who has the heart to heart with J'onn at the end, right? Because it's kind of Superman's fault he gets into the situation he does, and Superman is the one calling him throughout the episode to check on him.

So the fact that it was concluded with... sending Diana?? When Superman, above everyone else, as an ACTUAL OUTER SPACE ALIEN ON EARTH, who has seen how cruel humanity can be firsthand, and can understand J'onn's feelings more than anyone... would have made a lot more sense with what the episode was setting up?

Maybe it's asking for too much for two men to have that kind of tender heart to heart moment for a stronger narrative, but. Man.

3. This is so utterly specific. This is HILARIOUSLY specific, but you wanted salt, you're getting it.

I don't like the second Grodd episode and I think it should have been a Psycho Pirate episode. I didn't come to this conclusion without a base.

In the companion comics for the JL cartoon, there is one about Psycho Pirate where he tries taking revenge on the JL because he lost his family during the Imperium invasion and blames them. This is actually my FAVORITE version of Psycho Pirate THUS FAR. I know he appears in JLU too, but I really don't know much about how they handled him there yet!!

But I think it would have made a lot more sense for an episode that is LITERALLY about manipulating the Justice League's buried anger towards each other would have been better suited to him... Also I just think it's incredibly stupid that they tried to have a "we can't work together well ://" episode in season 2??? Teen Titans had that down in the first few episodes... by this point, the JL had been working together for a while now... WHAT are you DOING!! SO like... having the guy who's WHOLE THING is emotional manipulation and vampirism?? I dunno!! That whole episode just feels messy to me and has one of my least favorite Batman moments in the whole show.

However seeing Sinestro is always a treat I love him. And Rudy my man Rudy. (:

I'm sure there's more I could go off about but this got LOOOONG so I will leave it here. I promise there are things I do like about JL, I'm just in the camp of It's Just An Okay Show. Q_Q

#mir answers #anonymous

4 notes · View notes

redxblueihateloveyou · 4 years ago

Note

Hey!! 👋🏽😄 I know you said in your last rant about SK8 and Reki and Renga that you were one of those people that always looks up and learns from others, but after your last Langa edit, I just wanted to remind you how immensely talented you are. I might have not seen your first attempts at editing, but I know how it looks like when you're barely starting something, and I'm sure everyone is proud of the progress you've made and many people looks up to you as the level of skill they want to achieve. You're doing amazing! 💖💖💖

Hi, my love!!!!!! ASDFSDFGHG that’s soooo sweet, thank you so much for saying this, it really means the world to me <3 Oh, haha I’ve deleted most of my old videos so it wouldn’t hurt anyone’s eyes lmao T_T I’m still a bit nervous each time I’m uploading my vids to the day to be honest, even with so many subs rn, but at first I really didn’t have any supporters at all and my god I sucked at this, but I guess the love for my fav ships was stronger apparently haha. So I always get silly happy at each nice comment and feedback, so thank you seriously.

I really love love love vidding, Idk why but when smth comes out the way I wanted it’s a super addictive feeling for some reason, but many times I just looked at the final result and just threw it in the trash and started over and my god how many times SonyVegas crushed and didn’t autosave the project. I’m like Suga now, I’m pressing the save button each 2 minutes, cause don’t want to lose anything xD Being someone’s inspiration is truly an honor to me, I’ve got some messages that hit me too hard. Still feels weird bc I’m like “but do you know that I can’t even use photoshop tho, how do u like me now then?” lol.

I’m always drawn to talented characters, bc they amaze me, esp the humble ones. Like those who hate Haru or Lanaga just buffle me honestly. I understand that they’re pretty and talented and everything, but they’re also the sweetest and loveliest human beings, so like...??? And I adore those who don’t whine and get what they want. I just can’t help it. I’m a strong believer in the fact that "you can do anything if you put your mind to it”. So far it worked in real life so suck it lol.

People are also saying like Langa doesn’t deserve to win this and Haru doesn’t deserve to be in Olympics, like Langa didn’t snowboard since he was 2 and Haru wasn’t swimming every day since he was born. I’m like.. and you need to check in the mirror if your face is a shade of green. BTW I’ve also been in a professional sports for quite a long time since I was a little kid, ballroom dancing and adored it back then, and I did not get jealous at ppl who were talented than me, I was watching the tapes actually with a popcorn. And oh god those large competition events when you sit there for days and give it all, but then you’re like 296 out of 1000. Why was I proud instead of being sad? Idk xD It was fun.

So thanks for liking the vid, cause I even regretted uploading it a bit yesterday. Sadly everyone already knows that we lost this fandom to the middle schoolers being extra, so they do not care for anything each episode except for this ship, so that’s what I got for posting a just Langa vid:

And etc. and that just made me sad, cause I do not like such fandoms, like it’s not even related to the video, that I’ve been making... with love. Also thanks for the "sama” title, I’m flattered, but editor only wants to vid matchablossom for now, so like there’s no need for any warnings. I’ve been in such horrendoes fandoms, that I’m immune to this. I also in fact didn’t know some keep ruining Langa’s page and saying that he steals Reki’s screen time... cause he’s aparently the only main character...? ...lmao? I didn’t even know Langa can be hated tbh. I wasn’t really ready for all the drama that followed me making a vid about him.

I’ve already deleted some comments, cause I’m like what this even has to do with the vid about Langa? No, I am not obliged to make a vid about Reki, too. What if I post a matchablossom vid, everyone will only start commenting “do renga”, cause fuck your efforts? I’m like... I hate such fanbases, seriously. I do not even know where this is going, but their fans are already pissing me off. I’m still trying hard for this to not affect my point of view about the ship, cause it’d be kinda unfair to them, but its getting harder each week istg.

And I maybe can’t take requests, but I love when some try to get me addicted on their ship with passion and great arguments. It happened to me with some nice ppl. But def not with agression and stupidity haha.

Cause apparently its one of the fandoms where you can’t NOT care for the main ship, even if you accept it for the only possible Langa ship (cause he doesn’t give a shit for anyone else, so like what’s the point), but it doesn’t do anything for you. I’m like... thanks for threatening. This will make me on board ASAP. Like it’s not the epitomy of love to me... I’m sorry? LMAO

Some anon even sent me a “you’re dense” (literally thats it) ask after that Reki ask. I was tempted to write smth like “oh I’m sorry, this is the most epic love story of my life and his character is the most complex in the world and he’s the best friend and the most inspiring human being that ever hit my screen. can I become undense now? xD”. But you know I do not know if they’d realise the sarcasm and my pride sadly never allowed me to sell my life values for a bunch of 12 years olds to love me lol

My sister always laughs and jokingly says “but you’d probably get much more subs if you made a vid about this or that, but at what price that would be lmao”. Cause yeah, I never could make myself vid smth I do not like, cause I love vidding and do not want it to be associated with things I do not like, plus it’ll most likely turn out ugly, if I do not care. My mom says that she can feel love I put in my shipping vids that’s why she loves them. I really don’t think she’s wrong. But that also kinda makes me an idiot technically, cause I’m not into many of the popular ships, and some popular animes I just find really basic.

Also I’m like 100% sure it ain’t happening, but even if they miraculously suck each other’s dicks while sitting on a skate board, I can still have the rights not to care at the end. Like did I sign some form where I’m obliged to love each and everyone canon gay ship even if it’s not what I like? Like gay is not the type of love in relationships. You can only care about his ass like Lan Zhan for example or you can only care about your ass. Like that’s different types of relationships, and whatever you like you like. So get all the way of people’s backs, please.

Also do ppl know that you do not need to be blind to the bad sides of the characters in your ships? Or you just gonna be like “I suddenly can’t see” for forever.

So really thanks for such wonderful message and liking the video and for the boosts when I need them and not being an ass to me if I’m not being obsessed with smth, when you like it. (like I think we have different ship in bnha, right? but we’re still doing great tho, thanks for being an angel <3)

I still didn’t expect this becoming a Voltron 2.0. situation tho. We in our twenties see everything differently, I guess. I do get extra about “their love is everywhere”, but I do not get extra by anonymously attacking ppl, threatening creators and yelling “queeerbating psychotic blind assholes if these two aint fucking by the end of the season I’m shaving my head and jumping out of the window and shoot the director. you do not ship it HARD? YOU DUMB FUCK. THAT’S THE BEST LOVE STORY IN THE WORLD”. Like damn, take your blinders off and see the world, kid. Firstly, it’s definitely not, secondly, ppl see love differently in general and at each age too.

Ah, also you must kill Adam, cause he’s a pedo apparently. Like he ain’t even a threat to your ship, unless you’re blind, but they’re still at it, like they do not know that this kind of age difference is literally nothing for an anime? And that there are canon ships with a huger age difference left and right, too. It’s like its their first time approaching an anime or smth. Like in anime world character can literally kill 1000 ppl with his bare hands and bathe in their blood and we can still stan them, depends on their story, ok? Also Langa couldn’t care less for his advances, so like separate Adam from your ship pls. Like, fuck off, if someone is interested in his character. Yeah, he’s a weirdo for reasons, but anime kind of weird do not apply to real life. Stop acting like you’re some purist, when later you’re gonna ship smth else and it suddenly will not apply. Also rules do not apply to animes, everyone knows they do not apply. These are not western cartoons, my god. And 24 years old flirting with 16 year old is defiinitely not the weirdest shit anyone has ever seen in the anime. Chinese BL has characters who were 14 and 30 when they met and happily married. Also FICTION is not life. Literally no one cares. If you’re scared for your saint eyes, do not watch animes, you’re gonna have a heart-attack from what you can see there. Also we’ve seen gayer bromances in animes, who are just bromances, so pls do not shoot anyone if it’s not canon.

So basically I was kinda pissed yersterday, cause fuck them for ruining the tag, but after chatting with my hommies and your ask, I’m okay again, I just have to avoid this fandom and stick to a tight community xD. I just got used to my nice fandoms and forgot for a bit about the precautions you need to take if you’re in one of those. You know. Who make a circus out of lgbt, instead of supporting it, and make other ppl hate being in fandoms.

P.S. sorry for this partially unrelated rant, your messages really always make my heart bloom, so thanks for supporting me, and I know you’re proud of my progress, too <3 and this makes me happy. LY

#answered #heavensweetheart #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #in such moments you for a moment don't even want to vid this fandom anymore #like seems more pain in the ass than joy #but then denying smth bc of stupid ppl is also dumb #so its like I need to breathe and not go to the tags or twitter #sjws ruin everything #anime #I'd rather go spend some time in my chill fandom with less ppl but more adults

14 notes · View notes