#it's very much not an accessible bus stop the sidewalks are diagonal in most places and my right wheel is malfunctioning now bc of it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nexus-nebulae · 22 hours ago

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"why are you so worried abt random accidents, stuff like that rarely ever happens" well you see I'm too disabled to ever evacuate a situation on my own, so I'd rather be a safety advocate now than become a statistic later

#like. part of the reason i avoid large crowded events at all costs unless they are outdoors #is because i know for a fact i would more likely be a victim of crowd crush than any disaster like a fire #i am slow. i am very fragile. i have extremely poor balance #even if i could walk on that particular day (which is becoming less and less likely by the month)#i would be knocked over almost immediately by a light shove and be trampled #as well as like. my diminishing ability to make it UP stairs in the event of a fire in my apartment #because i live in a basement apartment and there is no elevator or alternative way upstairs in this building #if i were on an upper floor i would bear the injuries and just throw myself down the stairs if it were that severe of an emergency #i know far too well how to protect myself from a hard fall and would likely be able to avoid too severe an injury there #but if i had to crawl up the stairs i don't know if i could make it #these things are also why i fear car accidents so much #i physically cannot use an airbag without it breaking my collarbone; my height and general brittleness guarantee that #so it's just not. active. on my side of the car. like it was manually disabled #and I'm already so severely disabled i just. i can't emotionally handle something else. on top of everything #i have a do not resuscitate order in place bc of that. so if my heart stops for any reason they shouldn't try to restart it #that's a recent choice bc like. i can already barely handle the emotional toll of my current disabilities getting worse #i would not be able to handle something new unless it were like. a more severe form of one i already handle well like. losing my legs #i miss running but it wasn't as hard to give up as; say; losing use of my hands- they're the only way i can do ANYTHING nowadays #the few times my joint pain got bad enough that i fully lost use of my hands for a few days were absolute torment #and I'm far far too scared of my voice being recorded to use anything with speech to text like. it's a BAD paranoia i can't shake it #so i would just kind of. be locked out from most tech. and THAT is currently the only way it's possible for me to be social #so i would actually just fully lose my mind like it's already fragile enough i would break i would just break #i love large transport vehicles but i struggle to trust the safety of most other than trains because those tend to be. fairly safe #I've watched enough train disaster videos to know how robust the rules and regulations of modern trains are #(all regulations are written in blood!)#i trust cars very little though and since buses run on the same streets i worry. a Lot #not that there's any buses that run near my apartment the closest bus stop is three blocks away and it only comes twice a day #and it only runs to the college and nowhere else so there's. very little point to me using it #and very few ways for me to even access it in my current physical state #it's very much not an accessible bus stop the sidewalks are diagonal in most places and my right wheel is malfunctioning now bc of it

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