#it's truly heartbreaking to see someone so amazing going like this

[kyoohyeon]

.

[citrus-moonlight]

As I often do, I've seen a few posts going around lately lamenting the lack of interaction with fanfiction/fanart here on Tumblr as well as AO3, but after reading a particular comment last night I just need to say this:

If someone tells you that the lack of response to sharing their writing is making them feel so upset that they're thinking of quitting writing altogether, don't tell them that's not a good mindset to have and they should just have fun with it and write for themselves. (have you just tried not being sad? you'll feel so much better!)

Even if you're a writer who felt that way once upon a time but then you changed your mindset so that you don't rely on others' feedback for validation and now you're so much happier, that's not helpful. Because that's obviously not what the person who is feeling sad and defeated is able to do right now, and for most writers/creators that's never going to be possible.

And it shouldn't have to be.

Especially here. Especially fanfiction.

Fanfiction is something that's created because someone loves something and wants to share it with others who love the same thing. And this is specifically a fandom space, somewhere that is supposed to be a community where discussion and dialogue can and is encouraged to happen between the people who write and the people who read. So when there's radio silence when you share something in this kind of space, do you really not see how that would be discouraging?

Because of course I write for myself - I would never get anything down on the page if I didn't - but I share because ultimately I want someone else out there to read what I wrote, and with any luck, to get some joy out of it. But if no one tells me they did, how am I supposed to know? As far as I know I've just been yelling into the void. As far as I know, all that work wasn't worth it.

A metaphor I've seen as an example is that it would be like having someone invite you over and cooking an entire delicious, heartfelt meal, you eat it all without saying anything, and then just leave. Do you not see how that would be upsetting?

We put so much of ourselves into what we write, bits of our hearts and souls and the things that we love and are exploring and are interested in or confused about. It's such a vulnerable thing to share something you've created, so when you tell someone that they shouldn't care if someone else reads what they wrote or tells them that they liked it, you're dismissing a very real and valid experience for so many creators out there.

Because regardless of how slow or fast a writer is, or how big or small their fandom is, it's still hard and takes time and energy and dedication and love - all of it in between our day to day lives from the mundanities to the heartbreaks - to even get something to the point where we're comfortable sharing.

Now, I know that not everyone thinks that writers are silly or selfish or entitled when they ask for feedback. Before I started writing again after many, many years, the main reason I didn't really comment on fics very often wasn't because I didn't think that the authors deserved feedback, it was more that I didn't really think that it would matter. That my comments would just be noted - if read at all - and brushed aside and then they would continue on about their day.

I could not have possible been more wrong. You might think you're just one person and it's just one comment but it's amazing how it can turn a day (or week, or month) around. How it can encourage someone to finish a story, or make a connection they'd been struggling with, or even just manage to add 500 words to a WIP. It is truly incredible to hear that someone loved something I wrote, and if you've ever commented on or reblogged one of my fics, please know that it truly means the world to me.

I've gone through a rough time with all of this lately myself, but I'm doing a bit better now (for the moment), so I just wanted to say this, in part to remind myself when it inevitably gets hard again:

If you're reading this, whether you're a friend or you've never seen me on your dash and never will again: I'm sorry it hurts right now. I'm sorry you feel discouraged and lonely, that it doesn't feel like it's worth it anymore, that you're struggling to find a reason to continue.

But I desperately hope that you keep writing. I hope you keep sharing. You're worth it. I know it's hard, and if you don't want to and you're just tired of the cycle of giving so much of yourself and getting so little in return, I understand that, too. It's ok to be in your feelings about it, it's ok to feel drained by it, and even though knowing you're not alone in your experience doesn't change anything and it still sucks, it's normal and valid and there's nothing wrong with you feeling the way that you do.

But I hope that you are able to find the joy in it again, because you deserve it. ❤️

[wingedjellyfishflight]

Big Dick Brother Energy

When you join Task Force 141, you fully expect to have to fend off aggressive, testosterone-fueled men who think anything with a cunt should service them just for existing. Instead, you get a team who welcomes you heartily and truly embrace the idea of brothers in arms. They see you as an extension of themselves, one who deserves their protection and care.

This is amazing on the battlefield. Saving each other is only second to completing a mission objective, and sometimes, it comes first. The problem is when you try to socialize with others outside the team and off the battlefield. The One-Four-One are complete and total cockblocks. So overprotective that no man gets a chance to do more than make eyes at you or maybe say "hi" before a giant wall is sliding between you and that man, physically pushing them away if necessary.

When you first joined the team, they excitedly added you to their phone tracking plan. It allowed the team to track each other at any time while at home, just in case. It was very useful when your car broke down and they were able to come to your rescue within minutes instead of waiting hours for a tow. Now, though, it makes it impossible for you to sneak off or to try a different bar or a club.

A club. That was a disaster. You tried to go to a club to dance, figuring that the team would either brood over drinks at a table in a corner or find girls to dance with. No. They followed you like lost puppies, and the second a guy tried to dance with you, formed a ring around you like bodyguards. Opening your eyes and seeing a wall of brothers glaring at everyone around was embarrassing, to say the least.

After that, you sat them down as a group and told them they needed to stop the big brother act, because you desperately needed to burn off some energy. They nodded as though they understood. Then, they scheduled you for extra PT sessions. When you complained about that, they signed you up for yoga classes and water aerobics. You were excited for those, hoping that you'll find a guy looking to hook up. Only, when you walked into yoga, Ghost was there, laying out his mat next to yours, ignoring your glare with a smirk on his face. And water aerobics had Gaz climbing in the pool with you, telling you about his weekend plans and the newest gadget he picked up.

Hell, you even tried to schedule your own class when the rest of the team was busy in the hopes of meeting a man. Leaving your phone at home, you slipped away to a dance studio across town in a taxi. You saw Alejandro walk in at the last minute and shoved your way past him, stomping outside in frustration. He followed and offered a ride back to base with a lopsided grin, calling you mi Hermana, in case you forgot the team's consideration of you as a sister.

You tried to explain again, and they threw their hands up in frustration. They tried to help you burn off energy in a constructive way. No man would be good enough for you, anyway. They were just heading off the heartbreak. When you storm off in frustration, they shrug it off. No way they would let some idiot hurt you, even if you pouted over it.

Eventually, you decide that you'll have to secretly date someone on base. Maybe a friend's with benefits situation. Just as you make that decision, you look up, your eyes locking with a man's across the room. The look he directs your way makes a delicious shiver go down your spine. That'll do, you think with a smile back at him.

[ineffablelara]

Loki and his severe self esteem issues

Something I don't think we as a fandom discuss enough is the moment where Loki casually says "my life was a waste of time" to Mobius in s2ep6, I kinda understand that bc the finale was so traumatazing to some people that they only watched it once and tried their best to not think about it for too long

But this moment stuck with me because he says it with such calmness, there's no bite in his words, no sarcasm, no irony, he truly believes that, he thinks his whole life was a waste of time and this is so incredibly heartbreaking, at that point he already spent centuries trying to fix the loom only to learn it was a failsafe, centuries of his life wasted on a mission that lead to nothing, he probably think his life on the sacred timeline was a waste of time too, I'm so sure he'd do everything different if he could go back there, I'm sure he looks at all the things he did with so much shame and regret, a life wasted with jealousy and bitterness and acting out to get attention of others while being desperate for his father's approval and wanting to be Thor's equal

Even though he only acted that way because of his own trauma too, abandoned as a baby, adopted by a man who had a political agenda in mind when he took him and who made Loki feel unfit and inferior his whole life, raised in a society that looked down at all the things that made him him (magic, tricks, preference for diplomacy instead of fist fighting etc), Loki grew up in a hostile enviroment that only made him insecure and alone, he has severe self esteem issues and all he wanted his whole life was to be accepted and loved by his people and most of all by his father, he chased that approval in the wrong ways and now that he's mature and wiser he understands that but it's still so sad to see him talking about himself like that

He dedicated centuries of his life to doing the right thing, to saving the multiverse and making sure everyone would be safe, he made friends, he became kind and selfless and somehow he still thinks his existence was a mistake, his insecurities are so deep and internalized that I'm afraid he'll never truly be free of them, I wish someone hugged him very tight and told him how amazing and important he is, that his mistakes in the past don't define who he is now and that they're proud of how far he came in his journey

Loki's existence was the greatest gift the multiverse could've asked for, without him everyone would still be part of hwr's schemes and the tva would still be taking away people's free will, I hope his mind changed after the making of Yggdrasil and that he starts looking at himself with more compassion and love bc he deserves it more than anyone at this point

[igotanidea]

(5) Cheater: Dick Grayson x reader

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

A/N: bit of a filler, but I promise we'll get more action in the next part, so deal with me here guys XD

***

„Is it done?”

„Yes. Yes, it’s fucking done. Hope you are fucking happy.”

“You don’t see the bigger picture now and-“

“Fuck the bigger picture! And fuck you! I hurt two people because of your stupid plan!”

“Be careful with how you talk to me.”

“I’m talking to you exactly the way I should!”

“You act like a moody teenager. All that rebellious attitude and for what? In the end, for obvious reasons you are going to do what I tell you.”

They both knew that was true. But it did not lessen the pain of what happened merely hours ago.

***

There was no way in hell Y/N was going to forgive him. Ever.

He did the unspeakable. Promised her his love and then took it away to another woman. The women he allegedly had no ties with.

So it not only made him a cheater but also a liar.

And all of that right after she had the most amazing intimate experience of her life.

The second she fled his and Sienna’s apartment and found herself in her own four walls, Y/n made a promise to herself to tear it from her mind. However, it seemed like her body had quite a different plan.

For some reason everything felt different. Her skin. Her belly, her breasts, her legs, her—.

No, no, no…

They say you always remember your first time. That it tends to haunt you and everything that follows is forever tainted with the way you’ve been treated then.

For Y/N it felt like the memory of Dick’s tender touch, gentle movements and passionate kisses would forever be overshadowed by the heartbreak that came right after.

So he made her a woman by both taking and breaking her.  

***

While Y/N took the easy, if not cowardly way out, Dick and Sienna were rooted to the ground watching each other in the silence that was deafening.

What now?

Who was supposed to say something first?

And say what?

What words could possibly mitigate the situation?

The truth?

He couldn’t tell Sienna that it was all fake, that he never did and still does not love her. Enough damage has been done. Besides, there was also “the plan”. The great fucking batman plan to get to that stupid villain and prevent harming people.

Dick has already sacrificed so much for “the plan”. Losing Y/N. Causing her pain. Making her believe like he didn’t care. That he just wanted to get her to bed, fuck and toss her away. It truly should have been Jason to get assigned to this mission. He would just barge inside, force information out and kill whoever needed to be killed.

Boom! Mission completed with no girls with broken hearts.

But no.

Instead it was Dick with his conscience stained. Watching the woman he loved running away with tears and the woman he was using with a blank face expression.

“Sienna…” he started with a shaky voice, taking one step forward, expecting her to start screaming or pull back and move out of his reach. But she didn’t.

“Are you done now?”

“Done?” He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You had your fun?” the woman asked and much to Dick’s shock there was not much anger in her voice.

“I—um. What? Aren’t you mad?” It was most probably idiotic to ask her that, but Sienna’s casual approach to the situation was quite disturbing and the words left his mouth before he could think them through.

‘Mad?” she looked at him with wide eyes. “No. No I’m not mad, baby. A little disappointed maybe. But not mad. I mean, you were just lonely, right?”

“Um—.” What the hell was happening here!?

“Come on. Y/N is a wonderful person, but she also seems lonely so—”

“You were wrestling with her minutes ago!” Dick exclaimed. Now it started to feel like he was functioning in a different reality. The one where everything was abstract, the sequence of events made zero sense and women were strangely  understanding when it came to sleeping with someone else. But it could also mean that in that reality he had a chance of having Y/N forgive him, because clearly logic was non-applicable.

“Sure. Can’t have her thinking like she can just barge in and take what’s mine.” Sienna stepped forward, smiling sadly “but right now, she’s the one gone and you’re here with me. So it’s what speaks volumes about who you love.”

“Yeah.” He sighed, looking down, his hands shaking, heart racing.

“I’m still hurt though… After all, you slept with another girl while thinking I was away.”

As much as he wanted to tell her to shove her hurt up her ass, he couldn’t. And this time it was not only because of the plan, but also because Sienna deserved better from him.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered earnestly. He was sorry for the entire mess up, but not sorry for taking things further with Y/N.

“I know.”

“What can I do--?”

“I don’t know. Not yet. But I do want us to work through it. Okay?” The woman smiled softly, giving him the vulnerable look that always softened him, no matter if it was a girl, child or stray cat.

“Okay…” He promised, pulling Sienna to his chest, feeling her arms wrap around him, hating his life, Nightwing, Batman and everything In between.

***

He stayed home that night. Purposefully putting his phone on silent mode, giving no shit about whatever Bruce might want from him and he was now probably planning next steps of putting the mission to the end.

He stayed with Sienna.

Laying on his side of the bed in the darkness with a broken heart.

***

His arms were around her, but Sienna knew that his heart was aching for Y/N.

She could have had him next to her, she could have him staying instead of chasing after the other, but she didn’t have his heart. It was forever out of her reach.

But that was something she could live with. Sacrificing her dignity and self-esteem as long as he was physically here. And while she was in deep emotional pain, she was going to endure.

Laying on her side of the bed in the darkness with a broken heart.

She had to.

***

Y/N was tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep. Emotions clouding her judgment making her unsure whether she was the victim or the culprit. Or maybe both. She never should have believed him. She never should have done this to another girl. And to herself. 

She only had herself to blame.

Laying on her side of the bed in the darkness with a broken heart.

***

“Now that we made them break—”

“You are a monster, you know that?”

“Even a monster has his reasons for doing things. Or should I remind you what’s on stake here?”

“No. No you don’t have to…”

“Good. So you listen carefully, because your input is crucial in putting this thing to an end. You are going to go on a date that will be the final piece in the puzzle. Then you’ll be free.”

“Yeah… free… right after ruining everything…”

To be continued.

@miraculous-panic @fullbelieverheart @xlatinaaxx @ietss @arfrona

@gracescor3 @jaysgirlx

[stitching-in-time]

Finally caught up on Star Trek: Prodigy, and I truly think it's the best of the new Star Trek series. It has the strongest first season of any Trek show since Voyager, and it both respects the Star Trek universe and expands on it beautifully.

As an animated series, it has a grand scale and visual beauty that's unmatched in all of Star Trek. This show is breathtakingly gorgeous! All the design work is top notch; the character designs especially are truly different and unique and completely break the 'basically humanoid aliens with bumpy foreheads' mold.

For all that people seem to ignore it because it's a kids show, I think it has the strongest and most thoughtful writing of all the new Trek shows. The premise of child slaves escaping a mining asteroid in a stolen Starfleet ship is actually the darkest of any Trek series, and there's as many heartbreaking moral dilemmas to chew over as any Trek series ever gave us. But it captures the optimistic, humanist spirit of Star Trek far better than a show like Picard does, because unlike that show, it's not trying to be dark to be edgy or cool, it's trying to be honest and to find hope and light amidst dark circumstances. Hope that a better future is possible is what made Star Trek edgy in the first place, and as the world gets more cynical, holding onto that ideal is infinitely more punk than cynicism could ever be. Prodigy gets that, and it respects the history and lore of Star Trek while building on it. It was clearly made by people who've actually seen Voyager, and actually know and like Captain Janeway, because what we see of her here feels like the Janeway I grew up with. It's like getting to see an old friend again, having new adventures, while still being the same person she always was.

I do like all the other new Trek series, except for Picard, and I feel like for the most part, they've been very strong, and in keeping with the spirit of Star Trek. But Prodigy has this special mix of being tied directly to the old stuff while adding something entirely new. The epic scale of the first season's story arc was amazing, it is one of, if not the, best season finales I've ever seen in all of Star Trek. I'm grew up on the 90s shows, which will always have my heart, but Prodigy is such a mind-blowing expansion of that whole universe, I'm honestly astounded and grateful that someone used my old faves to make this epic new thing, which hopefully will bring an entirely new audience to the old stuff.

Despite the fact that there's lots of deep lore references that us grown up Trekkies can pick out with delight everywhere, the story of the main protagonists is self contained, and doesn't actually need any previous familarity with Star Trek to understand. Since the main characters don't know what Starfleet or the Federation even is, the audience can discover that along with them. It's such a genius concept, and it works so well! I honestly cried watching the season finale, it wrapped up the season's worth of story and character development so well, and set things up for an exciting new season. The characters are so well defined and lovable already! It has humor, it has adventure, it has heart, it's a classic Star Trek found family story!

I just can't rave about Prodigy enough, it exceeded all my expectations and then some. Everyone who loves Star Trek, please go watch it! Everyone who loves animation, please go watch it! Especially if you love Captain Janeway and Voyager, please go watch it! I want as many more seasons of this show as I can possibly get, so we need to keep streaming it so Netflix sees how popular it is and decides to make more.

I guess I'm in the category of old Trekkies now, so believe me when I say this show is what Star Trek is all about! Please please please give it a chance and you'll love it too!!!

[h0ck3yl0v3r]

sparks fly

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

lh43 x childhood!bestfriend

warnings: none?!?!

she missed him, and he missed her. with hockey season starting he was a mess. they had gotten paired together for a project in their english class. it was awkward, none of them knowing what to say.

The way you move is like a full-on rainstorm

And I'm a house of cards

they sat in class trying to figure out the topic they should research about. still no words spoken, luke couldn’t help but admire her as she worked. the way her hair kept falling in front of her face, and how she bit the top of her pen from nerves, and the way her eyes were so beautiful.

And you stood there in front of me

Just close enough to touch

Close enough to hope you couldn't see

What I was thinking of

after an hour right before class ended, the two finally found a topic to research on. they settled on how miscommunication can affect ones life. ironic isnt it he thought.

“hey y/n” luke said trying to catch up the girl in a hurry to get back to her dorm.

“what do you want luke.” she said turning to look at the youngest hughes.

“i was wondering if maybe you’d wanna meet after my game, you don’t have to go to it but i figured itd be best if we talk and clear the air since we got paired together.” he said in one breath looking down at her looking for a response.

“okay.” thats all she said. “okay, ill text you after the game, bye y/n.” he said softly, “bye luke” she whispered softly watching him leave.

Drop everything now

Meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk

Take away the pain

tonight was a big game, the game against msu. yost was packed, luke was in the locker rooms trying to prepare himself for the game but all he could think about was the one girl who truly made him happy that he hurt. as for her, she was finding her way through yost being dragged out of her dorm by her roommate who was dating one of the players.

as the team skated out for warm ups all the girl could think about was when she’d always attend lukes games, how cute he was in his element, how passionate and focused he is once he hits the ice. she couldnt help but notice how the lighting brought out his green eyes, and how his small smile still has a hold on her.

'Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile

Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around

the game ended well, umich winning and luke scoring a hat trick, during his third goal in the third period he finally saw you, pointing at you during his celly. your heart melted at that, almost forgetting entirely about why you were mad at him.

My mind forgets to remind me

You're a bad idea

luke quickly finished changing back into his normal attire as you waited for him outside the locker rooms.

once he came out he gave you a small smile which you did the same back.

“care to go for a little walk m’lady?” he said and you couldn’t help but laugh and nod.

you guys walked in a comfortable silence before taking a break on a bench near his dorm.

“congrats by the way, you did amazing tonight.” you said looking up at him a d he smiled whispering a soft thank you.

“i know i said i wanted to talk to clear the air because of the project but it’s more than that.” he said and you nodded for him to continue “im sorry for everything, truly. i miss you so much it physically hurts and i know its not fair the way i treated you, i don’t expect you to forgive me but i just want you to hear my side of the story. i pushed you away because i thought you deserved someone better, someone who could be there all the time, and to have someone you wont have to worry about having to leave one day and do long distance. but in reality i did it to protect myself, because im in love with you, and i didnt want to have to face losing my best friend, or the heartbreak of when i have to leave for the pro’s but i realize now all i want is you, my whole life, its been you.” his voice cracking and leg bouncing from anxiety. you placed your hand on his knee softly rubbing it to comfort him. “lu, i thought you didn’t like me because you became so distant and went after so many other girls, so i never said anything to protect myself, i was so in love with you, the night i left i had cried to quinny, i thought i never had a chance so i pushed myself away too. but im still so in love with you, no matter how much i try to push it away” you said softly as he cupped your face caressing it softly, “i thought you knew, i gave so many hints” and you looked at him confused, “remember all times in high school when guys tried to hit on you and i immediately scared him away, or whenever id call you after a bad game, or when all i ever wanted was to be with you so i came over for like three days, holding your hand or cuddling watching movies that it came to a point my mom had to drag me back home. i thought you knew.” he said tears now falling softly down both of your faces. “im so sorry lu, i never picked up on any of that, i thought it was just because we were best friends.” he wiped your tears away “we were always more than best friends, so much for miscommunication huh? we better get an A on that project” he joked and you couldn’t help but crack a smile and laugh. and as the clouds began crying too, for the first time luke hughes kissed you. the most soft passionate kiss ever. “i love you.” he said pulling away resting his forehead on yours “i love you luke hughes.”

And the sparks fly

-

taglist: @drysdalesv @shy4turcs @ghostfacd @jackquinnswife

[intuitively-her]

What's next for you? (timeless)

Pile 1-(3 of swords, The Empress rx, 2 of cups rx, Strength, Queen of Wands, Knight of cups, 10 of wands, 6 of pentacles, 4 of wands, 7 of swords)

You've been holding onto this heartbreak for too long. It's time to open yourself up to love. Allow people to give you the love you deserve.🩷 Let people help you! Stop feeling so guilty. You also need to invest into more self-care. Take yourself out for lunch. Give yourself a spa day. Go on a shopping spree. Whatever you want! You deserve it after all these trials and tribulations. Invest into more beauty products like glossier, mac, or nyx.💄 Try out new hairstyles. It's time to step out of this sadness and remember who the f*ck you are! Exercise would benefit you and your mindset right now. For someone here, you need to stop telling people your business. Stop giving people updates. You need to re-evaluate your friend circle as well. Spend more time with your family and places where you feel safe and accepted. Nurture yourself more.🫶🏽

*Channeled song: Whatever you like by T.I.

Pile 2-(The Hanged Man, Death rx, The Tower rx, Devil rx, Knight of pentacles rx, The World rx, 9 of wands, 10 of cups, Queen of pentacles, Ace of cups, 2 of cups)

Everything will be okay babe!💗 By reading your energy, I can tell you're going through it rn. You've been holding so much in and holding onto so many outdated things and people. Things may seem like they're falling apart, but everything is actually slowly coming together for you. As hard as it may sound, you really need to keep your faith right now. This had to come to an end to make you see the path that's meant for you.🛤️ You needed to see how your current lifestyle and choices were no longer serving you. You have all the answers to your situation. Just block out the unnecessary noise and opinions. You really need to take a social media break. It's f*cking up your confidence. The more you let go of the past and make choices that serve your higher purpose, the closer you'll get to living the life you truly want. There's a lot of good things waiting for you! You really need to put in the work and come harder this time though. Expect new and genuine connections in the near future.

Pile 3-(3 of pentacles rx, 5 of pentacles, 10 of pentacles, The Fool, 6 of cups rx, Temperance, High Priestess, Page of cups, 3 of cups)

You're coming out of this period of lack and walking into abundance. 🌟 Something was keeping you unmotivated. Financial drought? Divorce? You've flipped the script now! You been working hard to master your craft. This is my self-employed pile. Someone here could be a lash tech? Or in the beauty industry. This era is all about risk and reward.🎰 Block out the distractions! Someone here could study arts and literature. Think outside of the box more, especially if you're working on a creative project. Give your audience/clients/professors something that they won't expect. You're taking care of your inner child more, and they're appreciative of that!🫶🏽 You're doing what makes you happy, unapologetically. Spending time with your friends and family is lifting your spirits. This is the healing you need! Start traveling more as well, it'll help open your mind.🌊 Keep walking on this path to greatness and making the choices that benefit you. You're doing amazing sweetie!🩷

[geminisecrets]

You First

Warnings:  18+ ONLY! NSFW! Explicit sexual content, coarse language, oral sex, unprotected sex, mild drug and alcohol use, dirty talk idk I think that's it???

Word Count: 4750

Summary: friends with benefits turns complicated when someone's keeping a secret <3

Authors Note: It has been a long time!!! We really are amazed with the writers on here who never lose motivation and always put out the bangers, you guys make it look so easy and that's really cool!! But, alas, we have missed this and are happy to be getting back into the swing of things! We love you guys :')

Y’all are super duper fuckin' rad for telling us what you think about our stuff. ☯️

Requests are open :) 

Join our tag list ✨

*disclaimer: apparently the gemini constellation is only seen in Dec/Jan but just pretend you can also see it in July gaslightgaslightgaslightgaskightgaslight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Jake, just tell me!” I laugh as Jake digs his fingers into my side, causing me to squeal louder.  

“Some secrets are better kept…secret”, he responds with a grin on his face, finally easing up on me as I push him away. “Trust me.” I sit up straighter on his lumpy, familiar couch, but he doesn’t give me any more personal space. He has a way of doing that. Taking up my space. And I wish I could say it bothered me. “Besides, what if I was the one annoying the fuck out of you until you told me your deepest, darkest secrets?”

“First of all, drama queen, you never said this was a deep or dark secret, second, you know everything about me, I’m sure of it. I’m an open book. A free bird,” I respond enthusiastically, getting up off the couch and spreading my arms out like wings. 

“Okay, free bird, you first. Are you going to admit you were faking your orgasm last night?” he asks, slouched into the couch, legs spread and hands folded in his lap. That same miserable grin is back on his face. I feel blood rush to my cheeks, coloring me guilty, immediately.   

“Fine,” I shrug, attempting to appear unbothered. “Yes, I did. I was tired and you were taking too long.” His grin widens slightly, but his eyes squint as he reads me. It’s times like these, I wish he didn’t know me as well as he did. I really and truly do wear my heart on my sleeve and my emotions tend to play on my face, like a movie screen. “Your turn,” I shift, crossing my arms over my chest. 

Jake stands and closes the gap between us in two long strides. His nose is practically brushing mine, he’s so close before he says, “Nice try,” and walks past me into the kitchen. 

“I’ll pry it out of you one way or another”, I say, following him begrudgingly. 

Jake and I have known each other for years. He was my first crush in middle school, who turned into my first boyfriend in highschool and after graduation, my biggest heartbreak. We tried the whole dating thing, but it was bad for both of us. Jake is very demanding of time and attention. He’s passionate and jealous and honest. I, on the other hand, have always been more free spirited, tending to go with the flow. We’re completely different. Fire and ice. 

I could sit here and tell you all the ins and outs of how he hurt me, how I hurt him, and all of the baggage that comes along with young love, but I’ll spare you the sob story. Just trust me when I tell you that Jake and I don’t do relationships well. Neither of us. I couldn't tell you the last time I had a boyfriend for longer than a month before it crashed and burned. And Jake? Jake’s exact words to me the last time I asked were, “I don't really do girlfriends.”

That hasn’t kept us from ignoring the obvious, though. No, we’re well aware of just how well we do fit together physically. Without saying it in so many words we’d become friends with benefits, fast. When I’m home from school and he’s in town, there aren’t many nights we spend without each other. Jake might be too prideful to admit the same, but I can say, honestly, that he’s by far the best sex I’ve ever had. 

“What time is everyone supposed to be here?” I question, as I watch him unload the dishwasher, stacking his coffee cups in the annoyingly particular way he always does. 

Jake’s throwing a small party tonight with some of our old mutual friends from home, since most everyone is in town for the fourth of July. The usual suspects will be here, I’m sure of it. We’ll fall back into old habits. Playing stupid drinking games until half of us can’t see straight and have to Uber home with our heads hanging out the window in a desperate attempt to dispel the nausea. 

I however, know without a shadow of a doubt, as much as I stand at the mirror and tell myself I won’t, that I will be in Jake’s bed tonight instead of the Uber in question. 

As if on cue, the doorbell rings. “Come in!” Jake belts out.

“Long time no see!” Jake’s twin brother, Josh, calls from the front door with a lick of sarcasm under his tongue. He shuffles into the kitchen and unpacks what appears to be half of the entire liquor store onto the counter top. 

Followed by Josh are Danny and Sam and their usual posse.They all say their hello’s and waste no time making their way into the kitchen to get the drinks flowing. 

An hour later, the house is full and the laughs are loud. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed the banter, the blaring music, the escape from reality and the ability this house, this town, has to make us all forget how much distance there really is between the lives we live now and the ones we left behind. 

When it’s finally dark enough outside, we gather in the middle of the cul-de-sac and try our best to dodge the sparks flying off the dozens of fireworks Sam and Danny haphazardly detonate. Whoever decided to give control of the explosives to the two drunkest party guests should be criminally charged. 

The party quiets down a little bit and migrates to Jake’s backyard. We sit around his dingy homemade fire pit and watch the rest of the fireworks go off all around the neighborhood. The joint being passed around mellows most of us out and we sit there with our heads on the backrest of our camp chairs, tilted to the sky. 

“That right there is Gemini,” Sam says, pointing up towards the stars.

“Huh?” I overhear Jake question. 

“The Gemini constellation, stupid. The twins?” he scoffs, sounding truly offended, as if this is common knowledge for just anyone.

“You sure you weren't just seeing fireworks?” Jake teases. Sam rolls his eyes into the back of his head and grunts out a rebuttal. 

I think in Sam’s past-life he was some kind of hippie astronomer. He knows far too much about the cosmos for someone who decided against post secondary education. However, it’s a helpful tool to gauge just how far-gone Sam is. He always wants to talk about astronomy when he’s had one too many drinks. 

The conversation merges into talk of the ‘Good Ol’ Days’ and it’s just a matter of time before– 

“Remember when you and Jake tried dating?” Josh yells from the opposite side of the firepit, gesturing to me. There are a few chuckles and eye rolls from the group. Josh loves this story. Loves making me blush and riling his brother up. 

I usually ignore it, but it drives Jake insane for some reason. He doesn’t always know how to keep his cool when he is annoyed, especially with his brother. “Is something funny?” he chides.

“Uh oh. Did I poke the bear?” Josh taunts, throwing me a wink.

I am all too familiar with their typical twin banter bullshit, I’ve been around it for years. They like to egg each other on until the other explodes, and if Josh keeps going, he’s going to get exactly what he’s wanting out of Jake. 

“Come on, Josh, that topic is so tired, what about your tryst with that one guy…” Danny steps up to save the day and change the conversation as Jake turns to me. 

“I’m tired,” he says quietly, yawning widely. Jake has a very small social battery and when he’s done, he’s done. 

“Me too,” I breathe, catching his contagious yawn. As we stand to make our way inside, the rest of the party seems to naturally disperse as well. One by one, the party starts to fade out, until there is no one left but Sam. 

“I have about $5 in my bank account so uber isn’t an option. Cool if I just crash in the guest room.” Sam says. 

“Let me go grab my stuff out of there,” I offer, moving past him to reach for the door handle. 

“Oh, shit, sorry I don’t want to put you out if that’s where you were planning on sleeping tonight,” Sam interjects. 

“Sam, just go to bed,” Jake orders. I can’t tell if his curt response is due to the fact that I know he’s tired or if he doesn’t want to get into the logistics of exactly where I’d be sleeping instead. 

Sam begrudgingly obeys and drags his near lifeless body into the bedroom. I follow him, flicking on the light and collecting my bag off the bed before wishing him goodnight. Before I even have the door completely closed, the light flickers off and we hear a loud thud.  

“Jesus, it sounds like he catapulted himself onto the mattress,” Jake huffs out a lazy laugh, wiping away the sleep from his eyes and meanders into the bathroom. 

“If I had nine shots of tequila and a rack of beers to myself, I’m sure I'd be doing the same”, I yawn, grabbing my bag and making my way to the living room. 

I’ve almost got a little bed completely set up on the couch when Jake snatches the blanket from my hands. 

“Come on,” he says, dragging my blanket down the hallway towards his room without muttering another word, let alone giving me half a second to respond. I follow him anyway, stopping in the doorway to watch him shuffle out of his jeans. 

“Jake,” I nearly whisper. “If I sleep in here, will you tell me your secret?” I ask as coyly as I can muster at this ungodly hour in the middle of the night. His movements come to a halt when he pulls his shirt over his head, glaring at me. 

“I think I’d tell you just about anything to get you to let me sleep,” he groans, but the upward tilt of a smile on his lips reassures you that there’s no real malice behind his words. 

I roll my eyes and finally close the door behind me. By the time I take my makeup off and change into a t-shirt, he’s already in bed with the lamp off and the TV on, playing his usual reruns of Shameless. I crawl into bed next to him, and make myself comfortable. 

This is…new for us. Sure, I’ve been in bed with Jake before, but not like this. This feels… domestic. Intimate in a way I’m not sure I know how to process. I peer up at Jake, watching him for a few moments as he watches the TV.  

“So… this secret…” I coax. 

“Hmm,” he barely acknowledges me. 

“A deal’s a deal, Kiszka,” I remind him, shifting up on my elbow, my head in my hand, waiting for him to come clean. 

“I don’t remember making any deals with you, succubus,” he suppresses a grin as he lazily tosses his arm up and under his pillow, eyes still fixed on the TV. 

“I’m in your bed, aren’t I?” I ask, “Now it’s your turn to–”

“I’m pretty sure my exact words were ‘I’d tell you just about anything’. Emphasis on the ‘just about’ part.” 

“Are you—”

“You’re gonna have to work a little harder than that,” he breathes out, no longer attempting to hide the smile that’s creeping onto his lips. 

I let out a ‘humph’ and fall flat onto my back, arms crossed. I lay there awake for a moment, staring at the ceiling, listening to the ever soothing sounds of Southside Chicago from the TV.

There’s a kind of tension in the room that I don’t think either of us can really place. Sexual tension is not something Jake and I are strangers to. I’ve felt that with him since the day we met. This is not that. This feels tethered to something much deeper.

I think about giving up and calling it a night, but the longer I lay there the harder it is for me to fall asleep. Jake and I don’t do feelings. We’re friends, sure. Friends who have casual sex, but the boundaries we have in place are all unspoken.

I finally work up the courage to break the silence by rustling the sheets as I change positions to lay on my side, facing him. Lazily, he turns his head to look at me. His expression is blank as he waits for me to say something and I become increasingly aware of how close his face is to mine. 

“What are you hiding, Jake?” I ask as I intertwine my leg with his under the covers. I feel my breath bounce off of his lips and back on to mine. He scoffs, turning his face back toward the ceiling and pinching the bridge of his nose as if I’m pestering him like a small child. 

I maneuver myself even closer to him, my lips latching on to his neck, peppering kisses in a routeless path between his ear lobe and collar bone. I hear him exhale through barely parted lips as he relaxes into my advances. 

“Sleepy?” I ask, not-so-subtly propositioning him. 

“Not anymore,” he responds, tucking his hair behind his ear and sitting up on his elbows. 

I shrug the covers off of myself and maneuver on top of him until I’m straddling his waist. His hands palm my naked thighs as I reach for the hem of his worn t-shirt, pulling it up and over his head. 

I let him pull mine off as well and his hands latch on to my breasts almost instantly. Shaking my head, I peel them off of me and place them at his sides, holding them down tightly at the wrist. He gives me a look of confusion and I try and fail to suppress a grin as I lean in to kiss him. 

His lips move slowly but persistently against mine and part for me immediately as I lick into his mouth. His tongue slides against my teeth and I take the opportunity to bite down on it gently, causing him to groan into my mouth. 

“Jake,” I sigh into his mouth, swiveling my hips against his as I feel him, semi hard between my legs. His hands twitch under my grip.

“Let me touch you,” he breathes, biting down on my lower lip as he pleads. 

“No,” I whisper back, kissing him harder as I fall into a rhythm with my hips. Reaching between us, I pull my panties to the side and position myself directly on top of his hard dick, the only thing separating him from my wet core is the thin fabric of his boxer briefs. 

“Oh, fuck,” he mutters, eyes squeezing shut. 

“No, no,” I reach my free hand up to take his jaw in my grip, the other hand still holding his arm down at his side. “Eyes on me.” His eyes meet mine again as my mouth falls open. A silent gasp escapes me as I slide my wet core against the material of his covered cock. I release his wrist and jaw in favor of placing both hands on his bare chest. “Oh my God, Jake,” I whimper, closing my eyes and tossing my head back. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t putting on a bit of a show. “You’re so hard,” I sigh. 

“Can I please fuck you?” he asks breathlessly beneath me, hands knotted obediently in the sheets at his side. 

“Hmmm,” I consider, “how could I let you fuck me when you’re keeping all these big secrets?” He glares at me before reaching up and taking me by the waist, knocking me on my back until he’s hovering over me. 

“You like secrets,” he reminds me, lips at my ear, sucking on my earlobe before licking a stripe down my neck. 

“Do I?” I question, letting myself fully melt into the feeling of his lips and tongue and hands on me while he’s not seeing just how much I’m enjoying it. 

“Mhm…or did you want Sam to know what we’re up to in here?” He asks, right hand tugging at my nipple while the other still holds me around my waist, trapped between me and the mattress. I roll my eyes, causing him to pinch my nipple tighter. The sound I let out is somewhere between a moan and a yelp and I clamp my hand over my mouth instantly. Jake giggles, letting his head drop to my chest, kissing at the skin he’d just pinched. “See, secrets are fun. Necessary, even.”

He continues kissing down my body until he reaches my underwear. Looking up at me through his eyelashes, he takes the elastic between his teeth and pulls them down as far as he can before finishing the job with his hands. 

When I’m bare and naked before him, he parts my legs wide enough for him to settle between them. “How do you want it tonight?” He asks. This is new territory for us. We don’t… take it slow. We don’t ask questions and, in fact, this is only maybe the second time we’ve ever hooked up in an actual bed. Closet, car, tent, couch, sure. The bed feels… intimate. Where we’re usually rushed and frantic, simply trying to get each other off, we’re now slowing down, touching softly and intentionally. 

“Uhm,” I start, not sure how exactly to answer the question. Feeling out of control, I panic, sitting up and taking his face in my hands. My lips crash against his and he’s caught off guard as I press him back against the mattress. 

“Not what I was thinking, but I’m not complaining,” Jake smirks, relaxing into the mess of bed sheets, his eyes still tracking my every move. 

I make my way down the expanse of his chest to his cock, freeing him from those damned briefs. I don’t waste time pressing my lips to his tip, gently sucking. I watch as his breath causes his abdomen to flutter, up and down. Admiring the way his hip bones jut out on especially deep or sharp inhales. The second his hands are in my hair, I slide him down the back of my throat. 

His hips immediately buck upwards as he thrusts himself deeper into my mouth, and I hear him mutter out words of admiration and praise. 

“Oh fuck”, “deeper”, “slower”, he doesn’t stop. He’s always been vocal during sex and I can’t get enough of it.  

I pull him out of my mouth the second I sense he’s enjoying it a bit too much; moving back up towards him. His hands are still in my hair, but move down the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. His tongue meets my lips first and then slides under mine like velvet as he slowly repositions me until my back is pressed into the mattress; him hovering over me. 

“How bad do you wanna know?” He breathes, eyes meeting mine before his head dips to press wet, sucking kisses to the curve of my neck. I feel myself losing the control I had over this situation, but I can’t seem to make myself care. He lowers himself onto his elbows so that his body is flush with mine. I can feel him, hard, pressed against me. 

“Bad,” I mutter, reaching down between us in an attempt to slide him inside of me. 

“Ah-ah,” he shifts his hips back, away from me. “Sounds like you’re gonna have to earn it tonight.” 

“Earn it?” I ask, trying to focus as his head slowly snakes down my body until I feel his lips press warm kisses on the inside of my thighs. 

“Sh”, he silences me. His two fingers dive into my core, and he scissors them, stretching me the way he knows I like. He takes a moment to pull his hair back into a loose bun and he smiles when I make a crack about things getting serious. His tongue finally licks a stripe up my center, pressing hard and flat against my clit, his fingers simultaneously pumping in and out of me.It doesn’t take long for me to get there. I’m close. So close, already. 

I feel my legs tense and clench around the sides of his face and my breathing hitches frantically. He uses it to his advantage, pulling me closer by the hips and nearly suffocating himself with me. His palms press against my stomach, holding me firmly in place while I ride out my orgasm.  

When he pulls away, he crawls over me and lays his chest against mine. His lips press against the shell of my ear and I feel his breath echo as I stare at the ceiling and try to gather myself. 

“I fucking love the sounds you make when you finish”, he whispers as he huffs out a laugh. He uses a free hand to brush the hair off of my neck, tucking it behind my ear. 

“Hmmm,” I smile a hum against his shoulder, “probably almost as much as I love hearing you whimper for me.

He scoffs, lifting his head to meet my eyes. “I do not whimper.” 

“Wanna bet?” I ask, pressing against his shoulders, pushing him back against the bed. 

“Be gentle with me,” he teases. Teases, because he and I both know he prefers me to be far from gentle. 

Without another word, I line myself up over top of him and tease him at my entrance. His hips buck up against me immediately, and there's that little gasp. That throaty, breathy puff of air that pours out from between his lips, reminding me that at the end of the day, he really is putty in my hands.  

“This gentle enough?” I ask, peeking down through my lashes at him. “Can I make you feel good, now?” I grind my hips downward, my wetness sliding against the length of him as my mouth opens, jaw falling slack, mimicking his. I nod my head slowly, grinning when I finally hear the faintest whisper of a whimper. There it is. 

“So impatient,” I grin, only half joking, but he proves my point when, seconds later, he grabs my hips and slams himself into me. My back arches immediately as I let out a loud moan and I hear him gently mock me. He thrusts into me, taking back all that power I had over him, reminding me this time, that I’d do absolutely anything to keep him exactly where he is, inside me, for as long as possible. 

Feeling unsteady at this pace, he’s set, I reach behind me to grab his calves for support, hoisting myself up. I let my head fall back as I feel his cock stretch me better at this angle. 

“Oh my God,  Jake,” I whine, “I c– I can’t–” 

Before I can blink, I’m falling swiftly to the mattress below me. I squeal as he grabs my legs behind the knees and folds them up against my chest. He takes his cock in his hand and circles it around my clit, my body pulsing every time I feel the soft head of his cock pass over that ever sensitive bundle of nerves.

“So pretty,” he breathes out, “all of this for me?” He asks, more of a statement than a question, dipping himself into the pool of wetness at my entrance, causing my breath to hitch as he stretches me slowly. I look up to see him grinning and staring at my face, eager for praise and compliment. So I give him just that. 

“All for you,” I respond, completely breathlessly. “You’re so good, so so good, best fuck I’ve ever had,” I gasp as he finally pushes himself all the way inside of me, right to the hilt.

I can feel his cock throbbing inside of me, even with the quick snap of his hips. My head starts to bang against the headboard and I would laugh if I wasn’t fully and completely on another planet. 

Thankfully he notices without me even saying a word and drags me further down the bed with just one arm around me. 

“Sorry, baby,” he grunts, “lemme make you feel better,” his thumb reaches down to press circles against my clit, and I swear to God I see stars. 

“Gonna cum again, for me?” He asks, once again, knowing the answer to his own question as he knows my body better than I know it myself. “Wait for me.”

He leans down, breathing heavily against my chest as his sweat slicked forehead rubs against the beads of sweat on my neck. It’s messy and it’s hot and it’s fast as he presses wet kisses to my skin. Somehow, he maintains the perfect pace and I feel him begin to twitch as he lets out a moan, muttering sweet praises into my ear. “Yes, baby. Good girl. So good for me.” 

He continues to fuck into me for a moment longer until he feels me cumming again, pushing himself deeper into me, harder, exactly how I like it. He waits a few beats as we catch our breath, enjoying the closeness. He pulls out of me and we both collapse on the bed next to each other until the silence in the room is stiff enough to choke me. 

“Can I ask you something?” I question, taking his silence as permission. “Why do you let Josh get under your skin so much?” he turns his head toward me, eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, a hesitant smile tugging at the corner of his lips. 

“I was– inside you, thirty seconds ago and you’re asking about my brother?” A loud laugh bubbles out of me at his blunt response, but I continue, 

“Sorry, timing is weird, I know, but I was thinking, like…” I swallow, directing my attention to the chipping nail polish on my pointer finger, feeling suddenly small under the weight of his stare. “I feel like every time he brings us up, you get weird.” 

Jake’s eyes practically roll into the back of his head like some kind of unofficial response. 

“Okay fine maybe it’s not Josh, but the subject?” I push further, daring to meet his eyes again. 

“Damn, you aren’t gonna give this up, are ya?” He huffs. 

“Fine, if you don’t want to talk about that, then at least give me my fair share of the deal.” I lift up on my elbow to peer down at him. “I’d say I more than earned this secret.” I smile. 

He looks up at me and for a moment, I can tell he's looking at more than my face. His eyes drift to the hollow of my collar bones, the hairs falling out of the disaster of a ponytail it was in, the space between my ear and neck that he’d breathed quiet promises into just minutes ago. 

“What if the two are connected?” He asks, finally. When I give him a look of confusion, he continues, “the way we used to be and– and the secret?” 

“I’m listening,” I feel my heart begin to beat just a touch faster, my cheeks warming ever so slightly. He leans up to mirror my position, his eyes meeting mine at a direct level. 

“I guess I was just hoping it wasn’t really a secret at all,” he says, eyes searching mine, practically begging me to understand what he’s not saying. The air is heavy and thick between us. He swallows hard as I begin to realize what he’s alluring to. 

“Forget it, I–” he begins, breaking our eye contact, ready to make up some lame excuse about being tired and choosing to talk about it in the morning. 

“I love you too, Jake,” I blurt out before I can chicken out. 

And I will never– ever forget his face when he looked back up at me in that moment. 

Because I was finally able to answer, in one sentence, the question he’d been asking for years and years. “Do you love me, like I love you?” Yes, resoundingly and conclusively, yes. 

Masterlist

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[99hook]

Heartbreak Diaries

A/N: it’s been a minute y’all. This is something I wrote a little while back about the lovely stages of heartbreak. Sorry if you relate, and as always I hope you enjoy babes, and remember that healing isn’t linear.

For months, she was trapped in a fever dream. A realm border lining delusion, and anyone could’ve told her that but it was no use. She wasn’t going to listen when all her mind was wrapped up in were thoughts of him.

Despite how many times she had to lie to the ones that she loved, trying to convince everyone that he wasn’t who he appeared to be. He wasn’t as bad as what he may have seemed.

Despite all the tears she’d cried for him, always over the same thing because he’d made so many empty promises to change for her, and for some reason she believed him every single time.

Despite all the red flags waving directly in her face every time he got angry, caught up in his own lies, or he spewed dishonesty so smoothly that he could convince anyone of anything imaginable, and she knew that.

She still stuck with him, holding on as tight as she possibly could’ve. The equivalent to wrapping your bare hands around barbed wire until you eventually lose all feeling, and the damage leaves you numb to it all. Only then did she finally let go.

There’s only so much that one person can take before they finally decide to break the chains that are binding them, but all the memories come flooding back and it’s hard to decipher if you genuinely miss that person, or just the person that you wanted them to be.

It wasn’t her fault that she had seen the good in him. He was amazing at putting on a face, but eventually the mask started to slip and what lied beneath the soft brown eyes and charming smile, was never something that she had expected.

Anyone else probably could’ve seen it coming from a mile away, but they didn’t know him in the most intimate moments. There was a delicacy to him that he’d shown her, almost as if he was an old soul deep within, but he covered all of that with a hard, cold shell.

She’d asked him why he rarely showed that side of him, he’d always say, “It’s easier this way.” But in the earliest hours of the morning, when they would be cuddled up underneath her bedsheets just talking about anything their minds could muster up, she’d get that side of him.

Even though when the sun would rise his cold exterior would activate like clockwork, she would hold onto that little sliver of hope that maybe she could break down those walls once and for all. The empath in her was drawn to the darkness within him, and the little shimmers of light that shined through a few cracks in his shell.

Looking back now, she knows that was her first mistake. Thinking you can heal someone who doesn’t want to be healed. Thinking you can teach someone how to love when they never got to see what it truly meant to love or to be loved correctly.

But at the time, you couldn’t tell her that. She was content where she was at, wrapped up in his strong arms with her head on his chest listening to him tell her stories about his childhood and his high school best friend until they both drifted off to sleep. That’s where she wanted to be, but she wasn’t the only one.

The same fingers that were tracing little hearts on her back belonged to the same hands that would be wrapped up in another woman’s hair the night before. The same lips that were kissing her forehead were the same lips that were leaving patches on another woman’s neck.

She didn’t know it at the time, and he didn’t have the nerve to tell her until his guilt got the best of him. His stories rarely added up when he had planned to stay with her for three days and suddenly had to be back home a day early for work.

She had a weird feeling in her gut, which she tried to fight against. He’d look her in the eyes, cradle her face and kiss her with so much passion before he’d leave, promise to call her as soon as he lands and she believed him.

She never would’ve expected that he’d be making a stop to another woman’s house as soon as he left her. While she’s checking her phone, waiting for a call, wondering if he’s okay, he’s letting someone else kiss him, touch him, taste him with her fresh on his lips.

When she finally found out, she felt like a dumbass. The signs had been there, even her best friend had called them out multiple times. She just didn’t listen. She wanted to believe that the man she thought he was, was the man she was truly falling for.

He groveled and he begged for days for forgiveness. He swore it was all a mistake, and he would never do anything like that again. He came clean about everything, and made so many promises that if she gave him another chance, he would show her just how much he loves her.

So she did, and for a little while, he did keep his word to her. He started to open up to her about all the things that he kept locked deep inside. He gave her all his time and his attention, surprised her a couple times just to see her smile when she opened the door and he was standing there with a bouquet of white roses and a boyish grin on his face.

She struggled to put everything behind her though. Maybe it was because of how easy it was to trust him at first. He had something about him that just made her feel so at ease, like they’d known each other for so many years already.

Once that trust was broken, they could never be the same again. She couldn’t help but to ask him about his plans just to see if his story was going to change. She questioned everything he said. She compared herself to this other woman, wondering why she wasn’t enough for him herself. Truth of the matter is, she was going crazy and he didn’t like it too much.

They started fighting a lot. It went from being so excited to see each other, making up for lost time to immediately glaring at each other as soon as their eyes locked.

He used to have a gleam that shined in his eyes every time he looked at her, but it died. She noticed that when they were getting ready to go out on a date, and the silence in her room was speaking volumes.

He used to compliment her every chance he got. He’d say something like, “Do you know how gorgeous you are?” Before he’d wrap his arms around her waist and kiss her forehead, her nose, her cheeks and finally her lips.

He stopped doing that, and she missed it but her pride was always her biggest downfall. She put on a nice outfit, probably not a coincidence that it was one of his favorite dresses on her, but when he looked at her, his eyes were practically lifeless.

She stood a few feet away from him, smoothing down the end of her dress while she watched his eyes slowly roam her body, just for him to tilt his head to the side and stuff his hands in his pockets, mumbling “So you ready?”

She started to realize that things were only getting worse from that point on. He didn’t kiss her the same, touch her the same, even look at her with any sense of love or adoration like he did before.

It started to eat away at her, and that only fueled her craziness, or so he called it.

One night they were sitting on the couch watching a movie in silence. He was sitting a few inches away from her and the small space between them was enough to make her feel like they were a hundred miles apart. He used to always have his hands on her somehow, but that all changed so quickly.

In an attempt to try to feel closer, she turned towards him and said, “Hey, can we talk for a second?”

He didn’t immediately respond. He was silent as he paused the movie and dropped the remote on his lap. He didn’t turn to face her, and only hummed back to her.

She avoided the pain that it caused, and pushed forward with the conversation anyway.

“I just feel like we haven’t really been as close as we used to be.” She started, and already saw the tick of his jaw.

“Yeah?” Was all he said, lolling his head to the side to finally look at her, his eyes casting pure boredom.

“Yeah.” She whispered back. “I miss you.”

“You don’t act like it.” He told her, and she felt a jab in her gut because she knew it. She knew that she was the biggest reason why they were having so many arguments and so many problems, but she was still hurt by what he did, and she still had too many questions left unanswered.

“I want to.” She sighs. “But I’m still struggling with everything that happened.”

As soon as he heard those words, he was getting off the couch with a huff, storming to the bedroom and slamming the door behind him. She sat there dumbfounded, staring at that door and waiting for him to walk back out, maybe after he cooled down he’d be ready to have a conversation, but thirty minutes went by and he never came back.

She found him sitting on the bed, scrolling through his phone. He didn’t look up at her when she walked in.

“I don’t want to fight, Tyler.” She told him in the most gentle voice she could manage in hopes that it would dissipate the tensions, but it didn’t.

“Then why do you always start your shit with me?” His eyes snapped up to hers, and she could see the anger bursting through them.

“I don’t try to start a fight but there’s still some things that bother me-“

“And how many times am I supposed to say I’m fucking sorry?” He snapped back. “How many times have I told you that already? If you’re still stuck on that shit and you can’t get over it then maybe you just don’t need to be with me anymore.”

That was the last thing she wanted though. She just wanted to know that he wasn’t going to betray her trust again. She wanted to trust him and for things to go back to the way they used to be.

So that’s what she tried to do. She apologized for all the times that she brought it up, and from that point forward she never brought anything related to the other woman up again. It still fucked with her, but she wasn’t going to let him see that.

And surprisingly, they started doing better again. They started laughing with each other again, going out and having a good time with one another. He started complimenting her and kissing her every chance he could. Things had gotten better again, and even though she still couldn’t fully trust him, she acted like she did.

And then, he ruined it once and for all.

It was completely out of the blue when she woke up one morning with a text from him. It was a long paragraph but she only got through the first couple of words before she realized that he was breaking up with her.

He had said so much about how they had hurt each other and needed to grow apart in order to come back stronger in the future, but her heart told her it was all bullshit. She knew it, her best friend knew it, he just didn’t have the guts to give it to her straight.

She was exhausted by this point. She didn’t try to fight for him or what they had, even though she really wanted to. She just let him have it his way. Summer was coming up and she had the feeling that he just wanted to have a fun little summer without being tied down. Everything else he said was just a way of letting her down easy.

The craziest part of all of that was the fact that when she accepted it, and she didn’t try to fight for him, suddenly he wanted to be with her again.

He showed up to her house in the pouring rain with wet puppy dog eyes like he thought it was some kind of movie. He sent her letters when she blocked his number and found every little way to communicate with her.

Of course, she gave in to him one night when all the memories came flooding back. He came over and they danced to a couple slow songs in the kitchen. He told her he loved her and he’d do anything to make it work with her, but he just wanted to get her back underneath the bedsheets, and unfortunately he knew all the right ways to do it.

The way he looked at her in the morning, like he was conflicted and didn’t know what to do. She asked him something that had been weighing on her heart since he left her, and for once, he gave her honesty.

“Are you trying to choose between me and someone else?” The words burned when they danced on her tongue. She knew the answer, because why else would he be in her bed trying to figure it all out otherwise.

He looked at her with eyes that softened, a hint of sympathy glazing over them before he looked down at the sheets draped over his stomach.

His silence was the confirmation that she needed.

It hurt like hell to be sitting next to the man that she loved, knowing that he didn’t love her, but he knew just how to make her think he did.

It killed her inside knowing that when he leaves, he’ll just be running into someone else’s arms. He’ll be weighing his options, writing out a little pros and cons list in his head and seeing which one of the women checks the most boxes.

Never in her life had she felt so destroyed emotionally, mentally and physically. She couldn’t do it anymore. She didn’t deserve it and he didn’t deserve her.

“I’ll just make it easy for you.” She whispered, waiting for him to look back into her eyes, but he couldn’t.

“It’s not like that.” He shook his head, but she didn’t believe anything else he said. She couldn’t allow herself to.

“If you’re choosing between two women at once, just let them both go. No woman deserves to be in competition for a man. If a woman is the love of your life, then it wouldn’t even be a question for you.”

His lips parted but he didn’t speak. His chest heaved and he stared down at the sheets, unable to conjure up anything to say back to that.

It remained silent in that room for a while, until he finally looked over at her and grabbed her hand.

“I wanna be with you. Just you.” He said, but as soon as he leaned in to kiss her, she turned her cheek.

He froze, his lips grazing her skin. His hand slowly slipped out of hers and he dropped his head down to her shoulder.

She had to fight back the tears. She couldn’t look at him. Even the feeling of the ends of his hair tickling her skin made her want to burst into tears, but she knew what was best and she knew she had to let him go.

“I’m not an option anymore.” She whispered. “I never should have been in the first place. If you wanted me and only me, then you never would’ve gotten with anyone else.”

He sighed heavily, reached up and wiped a tear off his cheek before he picked his head up. His eyes were tinged red and eyelashes wet, a sight that cracked her heart in two, but she couldn’t let that change her choice.

They looked into each others eyes for the last time. All the memories they made, all the late nights they shared, all the promises they never got to live up to. It all came crashing down on the same bed they used to make so much love in.

He sighed once more before he tore his eyes off of her and silently got out of the bed. She didn’t watch as he slid on his sweatpants and grabbed his keys and his phone off her dresser. She didn’t want to watch him walk out of her life, making it look so damn easy while she was internally crumbling to pieces.

All she did was wait until she heard the front door close, and she buried herself in the same sheets that smelled like him, crying and sobbing and feeling sorry for herself until she finally fell asleep.

And then, when she woke up, she stripped the bed of all of the sheets and the comforter and the pillows and she threw them in the washing machine with way too much laundry detergent.

She took those white roses off the kitchen counter and threw them in trash. She did her best to erase every trace of him, and even though she knew his memory was going to be the last to go, she wasn’t going to let herself sink any deeper than she already had.

It was time to heal and move on, and hope that one day he’d just be a boy she dated in her 20s.

————

Taglist: taglist: @madhatterbri @730hook @multi-fandom-things730 @willowgreens @shawtys-things @justdamnpeachy @wickedval l l @730bliss @theworldofotps @madds-97 @gethooked @benjaminka @5secondsofmoxley @cypherpart15 @legit9thlunaticwarrior @littlemissbliss06

[shiro-s2e2-erukinzu]

Anime only watchers and people who aren't caught up with the Manga, BEWARE... Cuz I'm about to discuss Spy X Family Mission 102... You have been warned...! 👌

[SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THIS POINT ON]

Mission 102, man... 🥲 What a way to end this amazing arc...!! 👏😭

This chapter was both heartbreaking and beautiful all at the same time...! So let's go ahead and talk about it now, shall we...? 🥹

Mission 102 begins with Martha reuniting with her parents and...:

I'M ALREADY CRYING, THANKS ENDO...! 😭

After spending some wonderful time with parents, Martha finally heads out to find Henry... Since it's the weekend, Henry isn't at school, so one of the teachers gives Martha her his address and heads off to find him...! On her way to find, she trips and falls to the ground, when suddenly someone reaches out to help her...:

IT'S HENRY!!! 💗😭💗

And so, the two of them finally are reunited... Then, during their heartbreaking reunion...:

...An actual heartbreak occurs...! 💔🥲💔

Martha asks who this woman is and Henry tells her that she is his wife... And after learning that, it absolutely destroys Martha...

(Becky having my same reaction for the last few pages...!! )

We then learn from Martha that thanks to Lucia's (Henry's wife) uncle, Martha was able to do ballet again...!! 💗🥹💗 Not only that, but Lucia was truly happy for Martha when she watched her perform, and that just warms my heart SO MUCH...!! 💗😭💗 Henry married a truly wonderful woman...!

Becky was not happy about Martha and the man she loved (because Martha didn't tell Becky that it was Henderson) not ending up together because of the war, and she even said that "If all the snooty elites wanted a war so much, they should have fought!", and I was like: FACTS!! 👏👏👏 But then, Martha tells Becky this:

Everything isn't as black and white as we try to make it... It's not just "this person or thing is at fault", it's more complex than, but at the same time, it is possible to be that simple as well... But as Martha says in the page above: "latching on to such assertions and persuading yourself of their truths--that's a certain sort of weakness. And it's dangerous one." And I couldn't agree more...!

After their chat, we see Martha leave to do an errand at a cemetery as she runs into Henry:

It's seem that Lucia had passed away 15 years ago, and Martha goes to visit her and brings her flowers every year...! 🥹

THAT'S SO SWEET OF YOU TO DO, MARTHA!! 💗😭💗😭💗😭💗

And before the chapter ends, spend some time together...:

And that was Mission 102, AN AMAZING ENDING TO AN AMAZING ARC!!! 💗👏😭💗

OH MY GOODNESS THIS CHAPTER WAS SO GOOD!!! 👏👏👏 I knew that Henry and Martha's love story was gonna end in heartbreak, but I also thought that it was beautiful at the same time...!! Especially since even though she was sad that she didn't get to be with Henry, she was also happy that he truly loved Lucia and stayed faithful to her, and just so beautiful man...!🥹And though I would still love for Henry and Martha to end up together, but I'd be completely fine if they don't...!! 😊

This arc was HANDS DOWN one of the absolute best arcs in the entire series, and it only makes me even more excited to see what Endo is planning to do in this story next...!!! 😆 So until the next Mission; take care, be safe out there and be kind to one another...!! LATER Y'ALL!! 👋😁

[callsign-magnolia]

Who's Crying Now?

MATURE CONTENT 18+

Summary: Heartbreak is common. But it shouldn't feel like death is knocking on your door.

Rooster x reader

Warnings: Cheating, Violence, cursing, alcohol. I think that's it but if I missed anything let me know.

This is for @roosterforme's Rocktober challenge! It's late and I apologize but I finally finished it!

Main Masterlist

Three days. Our wedding was three days away. I couldn’t help but stare at my engagement ring as I drove, the sun reflecting off of the small diamond. It was his mother's. I had a lot of Carol Bradshaw's jewelry. Bradley wanted me to have it and I'll be wearing a few pieces at our wedding. I finally pulled into our driveway after my last day at work before the wedding, so excited to just spend time with Bradley. We had been working like crazy to save up for the wedding and honeymoon and it's finally over. I walked in the house and kicked off my shoes, the relief feeling amazing. I bent down to grab my shoes when I saw one of Bradley's duffels by the door. Why the hell is that there? Surely he isn't getting deployed. I turned and rushed for the stairs. "Bradley?!" I yelled as I topped the stairs. "Shit!" He yelled and I heard a clatter. I rushed in seeing him bent on the floor picking his clothes up by the hangers "You okay? Here, let me help." I bent down but Bradley just held out his hand. "NO." He gathered the shirts and stood without looking at me. "Are you getting deployed?" I asked but then I noticed all the shirts he had were for everyday wear. "No." He zipped the bag and hoisted it onto his shoulder. "I'm leaving." With that he walked into the hallway. Tears immediately flooded my vision. "What? Where are you going? How long are you gonna be gone?" Deep down I knew they were stupid questions, but I so badly wanted the answer to be, 'Just till the wedding.’ He walked down the stairs, ignoring me. "Bradley?" I asked as I followed him. He set the bag down by the other one before he stood. His shoulders rose and fell, like he was taking a deep breath. "I'm not coming back." The earth froze, my blood ran cold. I wanted to die on the spot. "W- What? Why? He looked at me over his shoulder. "You know why." There was so much malice in his voice. He's never, in the past four years we've been together, spoken to me like that. "No, I don't. So why don't you fucking face me and tell me why you’re leaving me three days before our wedding?" 

He turned around so fast I felt the wind off of him. "When was the last time we fell asleep together? When was the last time we got to go on a date that wasn't the hard deck? When was the last time we had sex?" I furrowed my brows in confusion." I got off early last week-" " That was three weeks ago. We went on a date five weeks ago and it's been seven weeks since we've had sex." I stared at him in shock. "You'd know all this if you were home! But you are always at work!" I grew angry. "You don't get to throw that in my face! We sat down and had a long conversation about that! We both agreed to work more to save for the wedding!" The vein in his neck stood out and I knew he was truly angry. "I didn't realize I was giving up our love life for a big ass wedding I didn't even want!" I was reeling. "Then why didn't you say anything?! If you didn't want it, then why have you been working so much too?” He scoffed. "Yeah, working.” With that he turned around, facing away from me. "What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped. He threw his arms out before facing me again. "You know what? Why don't we just air it all out! I've been seeing someone else!" That crushed my entire world. "What?" It was a whisper and he flinched at the look on my face. "I've been seeing someone else." He was just as quiet as me.

I stared at him as he avoided my gaze. "How long?" I asked, fighting my anger. He simply stared at me. I grabbed a frame off the table next to me, looking at it. It was one of our engagement photos. He held me bridal style, our foreheads resting against each others as my left hand cradled his face. "How long has this not mattered to you?" I turned the picture towards him. "How long has it been since you truly loved me? Or did you ever?" I could see him breaking. I knew him well enough at this point in our relationship. "How long have I been pouring my heart and soul into a one sided relationship?" He stood there, silent. "HOW LONG?!" I screamed and he flinched. "Six months." A sob escaped me. "Oh god.” I cried as I tried to ease the ache in my chest. “We've been engaged for eleven months!" Everything was crashing down around me. "You've been cheating on me for over half of our engagement?" I sobbed. "Why?" I sounded pathetic, but I couldn't bring myself to care. "You haven't-" “Don't you dare turn this around on me!" I yelled. "You started cheating on me before I started working more! So you tell me why!" I demanded, but he stood there, silent.

"Exactly, Bradley! You don't have a reason because I never gave you one." He sighed. A sad look in his eyes. "Don't fucking look at me like that." I snapped. "Do you remember what you told me when we first got together?" I asked. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I stepped closer to him. He just looked down at me with those big brown eyes that I love so much. "You told me you'd never hurt me." His eyes got glassy and it angered me. "You said the thought of hurting me killed you." A sob shook my body as I stared up at him, a single tear of his own escaping. "So why am I the one that feels like they’re dying inside?!" I yelled as I smacked his chest. I wanted him to hurt, to feel like I feel. "Baby-" He grabbed my arms but I fought against him. Finally, I went limp in his arms. “Why would you do this to me?" I cried. "What did I do, Bradley?

Where did I go wrong and make you feel like this?!” I cried. He cradled me against him as I cried. It reminded me of how he held me when I was upset. I hoped he would hold me and change his mind. "How can you do this to me and be unfazed?" I asked as my head fell back to rest on his shoulder. He moved to let me go, but I grabbed his arm that was still around me. "Please, Bradley. Don't." I asked. I never imagined the day I would beg a man to stay. Especially Bradley. I thought he'd stay, and we'd have kids and grow old together. He sighed before removing his arms and more tears flooded my cheeks. He picked up both bags and I turned to him as he grabbed the door knob. 

"Bradley?” I asked and he went rigid for a second before turning to me. "Did you ever love me?" I asked and he immediately nodded "I still do." I turned completely and grabbed his hand. "Then stay. Bradley, please. We can pretend it never happened." He immediately shook me off. "Pretend it never happened?" He looked at me in shock. "You want to go through the rest of our lives pretending this didn't happen?" I bit my lip to keep it from wobbling. "We can." I choked out. "No damage done yet. We can forget it, we can get married on Saturday and be happy." He looked down at his hand on the door knob as I stood in the center of the foyer. Tears streaked my neck, dripping onto my shirt as I shook, sobs escaping me. "The damage has already been done." With that he opened the door and stepped out. "Bradley!" I yelled, rushing for the door. He closed it just as my body crashed into it. A loud thud echoing around me. I gasped as pain wracked my body. I slid down the door crashing to the floor as I cried. I was startled as a scream ripped from my throat. Little did I know, Bradley stood on the other side of the door, his back pressed against it as he himself cried. How did we get here? Where did I go wrong in my relationship for it to end up like this? These questions swirled around my head for hours as I laid on the floor and cried. 

My phone started ringing in my purse and I jumped up, gasping as I dove for it. "Bradley?" I asked without looking at the screen. "No. Just me!" Natasha's voice broke through the phone. Tears fell again as I curled up on my side on the floor. "I wanted to confirm one last thing about the bachelorette." "There won't be a bachelorette." I muttered "What?" She asked. My mouth opened and closed a few times before I could finally speak. "He left me." I whispered. "He found someone else, Natasha." A sob wracked my body. "He left me!" I cried. "Wh-what?" She stuttered. "He doesn't love me anymore!" It was quiet for a second before she said something and the line went dead. I stared at the ceiling as his words circled my mind, how did we end up here? I was broken from my thoughts when the door opened and my name was called. "Oh, shit." Natasha muttered as she rushed over. "Cmon.” She grabbed my hands and pulled me up. She led me over to the couch before pulling the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapping it around me. "Let me grab you some water." She disappeared into the kitchen and I felt the softness of the blanket and looked down to find it was his Phillies blanket. I gathered it in my hands and launched it towards the mantle, knocking some pictures off. I fell back onto the couch and sobbed. Natasha came back, immediately pulling me into her as she sat next to me. 

“Drink.” She demanded. I had no energy to fight, so I took the glass from her and took a few sips. Once I was done, she set the glass down on the coffee table. “Where did I go wrong. Nat? She held me close and sighed. “I couldn't tell you, because I don't think you did anything wrong." She admitted. "What happened?” I sighed and stood from the couch. I came home and he was packing. I asked where he was going and he just said he was leaving." I choked on my words, wrapping my arms around myself. "He just said he wasn't coming back. He said I was never home and that I was working too much." She furrowed her brows in confusion. "I thought you guys agreed to work more to pay for the wedding?" I nodded, wiping my tears. "We did! But he hasn't been working more." She furrowed her brows. "Then what has he been doing?" She asked. "He's been seeing someone else." She gasped, standing. "He WHAT?!" She yelled. "How long?" She growled. "Six months." She stared at me as my tears soaked the floor. "He's been cheating on you for over half of your engagement?" She asked quietly and I just nodded. "Oh god." She came over and pulled me into her. "I still have to tell everyone that the wedding is off."She held me at arms length away. "Don't worry about that. Hangman and I will make your calls. Bradshaw can make his own fucking calls." I nodded, sniffling. "I'm so sorry.” She said, and  I shook my head. “It's not your fault. You couldn't have known all this when you introduced us." I could see the guilt on her face. She was so excited when she introduced us four years ago. Nat and I have been friends for years, she invited me out to visit all those years ago and I met Bradley. "I'm sorry." She said as she pulled me into another hug.

The next day was supposed to be Bradley's last day at work until after the wedding. Natasha hoped he would be there while simultaneously hoping he wouldn't be. But anger filled her chest as she saw him sitting on top of a desk, laughing with Payback and Fanboy, as if he did nothing wrong. She stormed past him. "Hey Phoenix!" He called after her, but she just slammed herself into her seat next to Bob. "You okay?" Bob asked and she huffed. "Phoenix." Rooster called again. Suddenly ink covered Phoenix's hand and the table. She was so angry she snapped her pen in half. She turned in her chair to face him. "You really have the nerve to speak to me?" She asked and he furrowed his brows. "What? What are you talking about?" Phoenix was stunned. "Wh - What am I talking about? Did you think I wouldn't find out?" She asked and fear flashed in his eyes. Good. She thought. "I just so happened to call her, and it's a good thing! By the time I got there she was a wreck on the floor. And where were you?" She asked, stepping into his space, her nose almost brushing his chin as she looked up at him. "Huh? Were you with your side piece?!" She shoved him, hard, and immediately Maverick and Hangman rushed in and separated them. "He's not worth it, Nix." Hangman said, gently grabbing his girlfriend's arms. 

"Tell me what's going on." Mav said looking between two people he thought were friends. "Now!" He demanded. "Rooster should be the one to tell you." Hangman said, his glare set on Rooster. Rooster looked between everyone but stayed silent. "Oh, you're such chicken shit!" Phoenix scoffed. "The wedding is off." She said and Mav turned to his godson with wide eyes. "What? Why?" He asked, absolutely stunned. They looked so in love, just like Goose and Carol did. "Yeah, Rooster. Tell him why." Phoenix spat. Rooster debated on telling Mav the truth, but he couldn't bare to face the disappointed looks from him. "I just-" He ran his fingers through his hair. "She was working so much and it put such a strain on our relationship-” “Don't you dare turn this around on her!" Phoenix cut him off. "She's not the reason you found someone else. That's all you!" Mav was shocked. "What?" There was a bite in his tone. "He's been cheating for six months. I called last night and she was a wreck because she came home and he was packing and admitted everything." Mav grew angry. This wasn't the man Carol raised. Goose would never stand for it and neither would he. "She's in a state." Phoenix admitted. Guilt was heavy on Rooster's chest. "You told me you'd never hurt her, and you told her that too. Don't expect me to trust you again." Rooster knew that included in the air. Mav turned to her and sighed. 

"How bad is she?" Mav asked and tears welled in Phoenix's eyes. "I'm scared to leave her alone." She admitted and fear struck Bradley. "Go.” Normally Phoenix would prioritize hercareer, but not this time. She couldn't. She stepped past Bradley when he grabbed her arm. "Tell her I'm sorry." He said, but was caught off guard when Phoenix's hand flew across his face, smacking him. “Don't fucking come near her." She hissed and rushed off. He was shocked. He never thought he'd see the day Phoenix hated him. He turned to face everyone, and upon seeing their glares, he swallowed harshly. "I'm just gonna go.” Mav shook his head. "No you're not." Mav interrupted. "You have a hop.” Now if Rooster knew anything by the look on Mav's face, he knew he was in trouble. 

Saturday came and went, and I asked Phoenix to leave Saturday night, needing to be alone. She only would if I called her every hour. So I agreed and she left. Then I was alone in the house for the first time since Bradley left, pictures of us taking up every inch of my vision. Everywhere I looked it was like Bradley was staring back at me. I walked over to the mantle, grabbing a picture of us on the beach. Mav and Penny took us out on the boat and we went

 for a walk after we docked. Rooster was swinging our hands and we were smiling widely at each other. I stared at it for a moment before launching it across the room with a scream. My chest heaved once, twice then I turned, swiping my arm across the mantle. Everything crashed to the floor, and the sound seemed to quell my rage. So I grabbed another and tossed it to the floor. I screamed and I cried until every frame that held a picture of us was destroyed. I almost destroyed one of teenage Bradley and his mom, but no matter how angry I was, I couldn't do that to him. So I moved all the pictures of him and his parents into a box and set it on the dining room table. Once that was done, I walked across the glass covered floor, my feet screaming at me to stop. But I ignored the pain and sat on the couch. I don't know how long I stared at the mess, but the rage once again bubbled inside me and I let out a gut wrenching scream before it dissolved into sobs. I fell back, hands covering my face as I cried. What did I do to deserve this? 

Come Monday morning, Rooster couldn't wait any longer. He had to go and get the rest of his stuff from the house he once shared. He quietly unlocked the door, lifting it ever so slightly so the lock would slip out noiselessly. He knew she was home. Her car was in the driveway and he heard Phoenix tell Bob she hadn't left since she came home and found him packing. He opened the door and was confused when he heard something crunching under his boot. He looked down and noticed glass. So much glass. His heart thudded as he slowly walked in. ‘What the hell happened?’ He wondered. He peeked into the living room, surveying the damage and his heart stopped when he looked at the couch. His ex-fiance lay on the couch, back to him and her face buried in the cushions. What bothered him was how small and fragile she looked. She was a spitfire and matched energy. So he was shocked when she started begging all those days ago. She looked pale and that's when he noticed all the blood on her feet. There was so much of it, he could even see the color change in the couch cushion in the dark living room. "Oh god." He gasped out before dashing for the couch. He leapt over the adjacent love seat and slid across the coffee table, coming to a stop next to her eerily still body. "Baby?" He asked and was caught off guard by a fist flying towards him. "What the hell, Bradley?!" She yelled out." You know not to scare me!" He just stared at her. "What?" She snapped, wondering why he was staring. He opened his mouth to speak when she placed her feet on the floor and he jumped, pushing her back down. "Get off of me!" She yelled. "There's glass on the floor!" He yelled back "I know!" He furrowed his brows in confusion. She went to stand again and he huffed before standing and tossing her over his shoulder. 

"PUT ME DOWN!"She yelled, slamming her hands on his back. Her mind flashed to all the times he carried her to their bedroom like this, and it made her chest ache. Finally he set her down on the kitchen counter. "Don't move." He commanded, a finger in her face. He walked off, heading upstairs. She huffed and grabbed her foot, reaching down to pluck glass out when he stopped her. "Don't use your fingers!" He scolded. He grabbed her ankle and attempted to lift it so he could get the glass out. But she yanked it out of his grip. He gaped at her before trying again. "Stop Bradley!" She yelled. "Just stop." They stared at each other before she held out her hand for the tweezers. He sighed and handed them to her. She carefully began to pick glass from her foot and he leaned back on the counter. "What happened?" He asked as if he didn't know. She lifted her head and glared at him. "I shattered all of our pictures." She answered. He looked at her, seeing how bad off she was. She looked like she hadn't slept or showered in days. Then his eyebrows shot up. "You didn't break my parents' pictures, did you?” He asked. “I may hate you, but I don’t hate you that much Bradley.” She said, “You hate me?” He asked, feeling like he had a frog in his throat. She once again glared at him. “Bradley.” Her tone was calm, eerily calm. “You hurt me. In ways I never knew a person could hurt me. You didn’t just break my heart, it’s like I watched you rip it apart piece by piece and throw it in my face. So yes, I fucking hate you. So while I go shower, you get your shit and you get out.” She said, jumping off the counter and walking upstairs, leaving bloody footprints behind her. 

I don’t remember my shower. I just know I got in, and then I got out with wet hair. I slipped into some yoga pants and a sweater before making my way downstairs. I heard glass in the kitchen and furrowed my brows, only to see Bradley step out and put the broom in the closet. “I uh, cleaned up the blood and the glass. I tried to get the couch clean but it’s stained.” He said and I nodded. “Thanks. But I’ll get a new couch.” I said, walking past him and into the kitchen. I was waiting to hear him leave, but I didn’t. I stepped out and saw him looking at the floor with his hands in his pockets. He’s nervous. “Why are you still here? What do you want?” I asked. Rudely, but I didn’t care at this point. “I wanted to talk to you about the plane tickets for the honeymoon.” My eyebrows shot up as I looked at him. “I’ll be honest. Cas-” “HELL FUCKING NO!” “Baby-” “Stop calling me that! I am not your baby, we are no longer together! You decided to go and stick your dick in some other woman! You have ruined all of this!” I said motioning around us. “I begged you to stay and that was the dumbest thing I could’ve ever done! I’m glad you didn’t because you don’t deserve everything I was willing to give you! There is no one at fault here but you, so I am not your baby, and I paid for the honeymoon so no, you don’t get to take your fucking mistress on MY HONEYMOON TRIP!” I screamed at him. “Cassidy just-” “Do you really think it’s wise to say her name to me?” I asked and he huffed. 

“Will you let me finish?” He asked and I shook my head. “No! You said everything you needed to say when you walked out that door. So go, do it again! Because I am done, hoping you’ll stay! What I need now is for you to leave, and stay gone! I can’t heal if you're still coming in and out!” I said. “She just wanted me to ask.” He muttered before grabbing the box of pictures from the table. “Well she isn’t getting anything else from me! That slut already stole the one thing in my life that I thought would never leave. She isn’t getting anything else!” I said as he turned for the door. “She’s not a slut.” He said as he turned to me. “Okay, fine.” I said and he turned for the door. “I hope you wind up stuck in a ditch with your washed up side piece bitch!” I yelled as he slammed the door behind him. I was so angry I could break something else but I decided against it. I thought about his request and smirked, calling Natasha. “You okay?” Was what I was greeted with when she answered my call. “How would you like to go stay on a private beach in Tahiti with me next week?” I asked. “Count me in.” She said. 

The following Saturday Nat and I were on a flight to Tahiti and we had the time of our lives. We basically drank, ate, swam and slept. By the time we came back, we had awful sunburns, and I’m pretty sure we both gained five pounds each. I felt a little better but once again I was alone in the house, the anger was creeping back in. I couldn’t hold onto this. So I threw myself into my work. I stayed late, and went in early and even worked on my days off. Anything to keep me from being home. “You have to stop. You’re going to get burnt out.” Nat said over the phone. “Nat, I just can’t be at home.” I said. “Then stay with me. This Friday we’re all going to the Hard Deck after work, and then you can stay with me all weekend! It’ll be a sleepover just like it used to be in high school.” I sighed. I did miss spending the night with her like we used to. “Okay. But… has he been at The Hard Deck?” I asked. “No. We only see him at work. He hasn’t hung out with us since you two split.” I furrowed my brows. “Really?” I asked. “The only person he really talks to outside of work is Bob.” I hummed and nodded. “I’m sorry Nat.” I said. “Don’t be. I’m sorry things ended like it did.” I sighed. “So, meet us at The Hard Deck at six?” 

I showed up to The Hard Deck at six like Nat wanted and I didn’t spot her, but I did spot Bob. I slowly walked over as he ate some peanuts. “Hi Bob.” I said quietly and his eyebrows shot up when he saw me. “Oh, hi.�� He said, standing and offering me his seat. “Oh, I’m fine.” Bob was quiet but he was always my favorite in the group besides Nat. He’s very kind, and everyone thinks he’s quiet but in reality, he’s very funny. Soon everyone else showed up and I was three beers in thanks to Coyote. I had my arm propped up on Bob’s shoulder, leaning on him as we laughed. “Hey guys.” At the sound of that voice, Bob’s arm slipped around my waist. We all turned to see Rooster, he was looking around at everyone and his eyes widened when they met mine. Everyone greeted him without much enthusiasm. Nat and Jake didn’t even look his way, let alone greet him. Suddenly a blonde woman stepped out from behind him. She was a total knockout. She had a dazzling smile, beautiful brown eyes and a killer body. I turned to Bob who looked up at me from his stool. “I can see why he picked her.” I whispered. “Hey, don’t do this to yourself.” He said as I heard footsteps behind me. “I think you need to step back.” He said and I turned to find the woman standing before me. “I’m sorry. I’ve never met you. I’m Cassidy, Bradley’s girlfriend.” Her smile told me she knew exactly who I was. “Oh, the whore who slept with my fiance.” I said back and her smile faltered. “Cassidy.” Rooster hissed, walking over towards her.

“I did. But he came crawling to me because you couldn’t please him anymore.” Anger settled in me and I could see Natasha hand off her pool cue to Jake. “I don’t have to explain anything to you, but I will do the one thing that I’ve been wanting to do for the past two months.” I said with a smirk. She matched my grin, crossing her arms over her chest. “And what would that be?” She asked, looking all smug. What a dumbass. My left hand shot out, wrapping itself in the hair at the base of her neck. She screamed out as I reared back my right fist and let it fly. It connected with a sickening crack and I immediately felt better. I let go of her and she dropped to the ground, screaming. Bradley bent down next to her, glaring at me as I stood over them. “That’s what you get for being a whore! But based on the obvious work you’ve had done, you’ve been in this position before.” I bent down, meeting her watery gaze. Her nose sat crooked on her face as blood poured out of it. “Next time you consider approaching me, rethink that. Because next time, you will have more than a broken nose and I will smile in my mugshot while you’re laid up in the ICU.” I told her and stood. “Come on.” Bob gently took my hand and guided me out of the bar. “She ruined my nose job!” She squealed to Bradley and I laughed. Adrenaline pumped through my veins and I don’t remember Bob putting me in his truck, but he drove us down to an empty parking lot next to an ice cream place. 

“Come on.” He said, helping me slide across his bench seat. I just listened and followed. He walked us over to the little ice cream shack and we waited in the short line. “What can I get you?” The man asked. “Can I get two scoops of chocolate in a waffle cone and two scoops of mint chocolate chip in a waffle cone?” He nodded and I looked at him wide eyed. “You remembered my favorite ice cream?” He nodded, a red tinge on his cheeks. “Yeah.” I smiled and hugged him. “Thank you.” I said as his arms wrapped around me in return. Soon we got our ice cream and we walked down to the beach. “You wanna try some?” I asked, offering my ice cream to him and he made a face. “No thanks. I don’t like it.” He said. “Why?” I asked. “It tastes like toothpaste.” I smirked to myself, licking it again. “So you don’t like using toothpaste?” I asked and his head whipped to me and I laughed loudly. “I walked into that one.” He said and I nodded. “You sure did!” 

Soon my laughter quieted down. “You okay?” He asks. “I don’t recall you ever being the violent type.” I nodded. “I never have been.” I said. I turned and walked down the beach, stopping as the water washed over my sandals. I stood there for a minute as tears welled in my eyes. “Hey.” Bob whispered as he came up behind me. “It’s okay.” He said and immediately sobs hit me. “Why doesn’t he want me?” I asked and Bob turned me around to face him before hugging me close. “Because he’s stupid.” He said and I hugged him back. Bob stood there and allowed me to cry into his chest. My chest felt like it was caving in and I just wanted it to stop. “It hurts.” I cried and he held me tighter. “I’m sorry.” He said. “I’m so sorry.” He said, a few tears of his own falling to my shoulder. I cried until he walked me back to the truck and I stopped long enough to get in, but the minute he closed the door they started again. My head fell back against the headrest and I curled in on myself. Bob sighed when he got in and slid across the bench seat, pulling me into him. “You don’t deserve any of this.” He said, his fingers playing with the ends of my hair. “What he did was awful and you have every right to feel the way you feel, even if you really don’t want to.” I cried for about a solid forty-five minutes before I took a deep breath and hugged him. “Thank you, Bobby.” I said. 

From then on, Bob quickly became one of my best friends. The week after I snapped he showed up three separate nights with dinner and movie ideas. He helped keep me occupied the months following my breakdown, and soon a little more than a friendship bloomed. “Do a double date with us.” Nat said as I leaned on her island. “Nat-” “I think it would be a good idea.” Jake said and I sighed. “I just don’t think I’m ready.” I said. “Who said it had to be serious? Look we have two more tickets to this comedy show after Coyote and his girlfriend backed out. We’re just gonna get dinner and go to the show. Just see it as us inviting two of our best friends to join us.” Natasha said. I sat quietly for a moment before looking at her. “Just friends.” I said and she nodded,”Just friends.” Nat told Bob, who then called me and told me he would pick me up. There was no room for debate, so I just agreed.

 He showed up on Friday evening wearing gray slacks and a white button up. He looked so handsome and I felt underdressed. “You look beautiful.” He said as he stood on the other side of my doorway. I looked down at my boots and flare jeans. I paired it with a graphic tee and a cream colored sweater. “I feel underdressed.” I said, my face burning with a blush. “You look perfect.” He said, holding his hand out for me. “Ready?” He asked and I nodded. He led me over to his truck, opening the passenger door for me. He helped me in before going around to his side. He started the truck before staring at me. “What?” I asked and he reached into his back seat. “You’re missing something.” He said. I raised a brow before he produced a black stetson. He gently sat it on my head and I giggled as it sunk down a little. “Okay, maybe it’s a little big.” He said, removing it and I laughed. “We’ll get you one of your own.” He said before putting the hat back in the backseat.

After we went out with Nat and Jake, there was a first date. Horseback riding on the beach. I had never been on a horse, but Bob made me feel so calm and I enjoyed myself. Then there was a second date, and a third and a fourth. Soon we made it a year in and we were flying out to Montana to spend Christmas with his family. I was excited. After Bradley I never thought I’d be happy again. But then Bob swooped in and made me realize that I could be happy again. He makes me happy, he makes me feel loved and cared for. Bobby is everything I could ever want in a man, and I quickly realized, I love him. I love Robert Floyd. He made me feel whole after my heart was completely shattered and thrown in my face and now, it only beat for him. “Honey! Have you seen my red flannel? It’ll be cold back home.” He called downstairs. “It’s in the back of the closet!” I heard rustling upstairs as I tossed my last shirt into my suitcase. “Thank you!” He called down and I laughed. Suddenly the doorbell rang. “I got it!” I called. I walked over to the door and swung it open. 

My eyes widened as I looked down the front steps. Bradley stood there, his eyes meeting mine when he heard the door open. “Hi.” He muttered. “Hi.” I replied, crossing my arms over my chest as I looked down at him. He looked down at his boots, not looking at me. “Where’s your whore of a girlfriend?” I asked. “She left me about eight months ago.” He said. I hated him and felt bad for him all at once. Bradley spent so much time alone already in his life, and I hate that he has to experience it again, but he did this to himself. “What are you doing here, Bradley?” I asked and he shrugged. “Honestly,” He said, looking around until he finally met his gaze. “I’m not a hundred percent sure.” He said. I raised an eyebrow at him. Bradley was always sure of himself. I’ve never seen him like this. “On the drive here… all I could think about was asking you to take me back.” Tears filled my eyes and my lip wobbled. “Baby-” He took a step forward and I held out my hand to stop him. “Stop.” He did, looking confused. “Just stop. I am not your baby and it’s been over a year since we broke off our engagement. You don’t get to come back, and make me feel things that I had finally gotten over.” I said, taking my own step forward. “I am finally happy! You don’t get to ruin that!” I yelled out. “I am done crying over you. I have been done for a long time.” I told him and tears of his own formed in his eyes. “Who’s crying now, Bradley?” I asked. “Honey?” Bob flew out the front door but stopped when he saw Bradley. They stared at each other as Bob came to stand next to me. “Rooster.” He said, nodding at him. “Bob.” He said, shock covering his face. Bob wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me close as I took deep breaths. “You two?” We both nodded. “About a year now.” Bob said. “I think you should go, Bradley.” I said and he nodded, a few tears slipping. 

“Wait.” Bob called and I furrowed my brows at him. “Did you wanna give it to him?” He asked and I nodded. “Wait here.” I walked inside and upstairs to the room I now shared with Bob and not Bradley. I reached into the dresser, pulling out the ring box and making my way back outside. Bob and Bradley were awkwardly avoiding eye contact with each other as I walked down the steps and towards Bradley. “Here.” I said, holding out the box. He stared at it for a good minute before slowly taking it. “You sure you don’t want to keep it?” He asked and I shook my head. “It was Carol’s, which means it’s yours. It has no business being with me if you aren’t.” I said and he nodded before I turned and walked up the steps, taking my place next to Bob again. “Are you spending Christmas with Mav again?” I asked. Before we got together, he was alone every Christmas after his mom passed and I convinced him to spend it with Mav. “Good.” I said. I’m glad he wasn’t spending it alone. “Well, I’ll go.” He said. “Merry Christmas, Bradley.” I said as Bob wrapped his arm around my waist again. “Yeah, Merry Christmas.” He said before turning around and heading for the Bronco. Bob and I walked back inside and I watched Bradley pull out of the driveway. “You okay?” He asked. “Yeah. Is it bad that I feel bad that he is spending the holidays alone?” I asked and he gave me a small smile before wrapping me up in his arms. “No. You’re a caring person. He hurt you but that doesn’t mean you want him to hurt.” Bob said. “So I’m not a bad person?” I asked and he chuckled. “You are one of the smartest and kindest people I know, and I love you honey.” I smiled up at him. “I love you too, Bobby.” I said before pulling him into a kiss that, just like every other one, took my breath away.

[asimpwithfreetime]

HIIII I LOVE YOUR WORK

Can I request a (yandere or smut) Aonung fic because I’m literally in love with him thankssss🫶🫶🫶

What about Yandere AND smut? I am feeling naughty today 😈 hope you enjoy

Nobody tells me what to do (aged up! Ao’nung x fem! Reader)

Summary: Y/n was Lo’ak’s future mate back in the forest, when she comes to look for him after 6 years, she finds out he mated with Tsireya. Ao’nung is there to help her out and make her forget him.

AO’NUNG IS AROUND 20 IN THIS FIC

General warnings: cheating, the other woman cliché (my fav tbh), yandere behavior, obsessive behavior, forced mating, gaslight, smut, pussy eating, squirt, fluid drinking,

The pussy eating in this post is inspired by @justasimps-blog Ao’nung eating pussy headcanons. Thank you for such an amazing work <3

[ 3rd Person POV ]

Y/n walked slowly towards the shore, her ikran waiting patiently there. “Wait” a voice behind her said. She turned around seeing a boy she had seen hours earlier when she was looking for Lo’ak.

“You know” the boy fidgeted, suddenly nervous “for a jungle freak, you are pretty cool” he started off wrong, Y/n was burrowing her brows with not a pleased face. “What I am trying to say is… ugh!.. would you like to join me at dinner tonight, it is getting quite late and I don’t want you flying in the middle of the night, it is dangerous”.

She cracked a soft smile for the very first time that day, she accepted. “Just for your information, I am the future Olo’eyktan” Ao’nung puffed his chest in pride. “So you’ll be eating with the best guy around here” he smiled at her.

Later that night, Y/n sat beside Ao’nung, much to everyone’s surprise. Lo’ak was quite angry watching them for afar as he was sitting beside Tsireya and his family. Neytiri was quite delighted to see Y/n with Ao’nung. Jake was surprised, he thought the girl would go back to home.

Lo’ak’s parents weren’t very happy of seeing how their son left her without any notice.

Ao’nung smiled triumphantly at Lo’ak. His pale blue hand snaking around Y/n’s waist as they ate. Y/n blushed at this. During the night, Ronal and Tonowari smiled at each other, finding Y/n as a good girl for their son.

Later, Y/n was invited to stay at the Sully’s marui pod, since Lo’ak lived with Tsireya in other marui. “Oh, sorry but she is going with me” Ao’nung smiled slyly as he took Y/n to his house.

Lo’ak was pretty aware of that.

Once on the Marui, Y/n turned to Ao’nung. “I am thankful for your help, but truly I would like to go home” she spoke solemnly.

“Home?” Ao’nung chuckled “but you are going to be my mate. I have already chosen you”. His eyes narrowed. “But… I am not ready to be promised to someone again…” she responded, her heartbreak coming back. “Who has talked about promising? I am going to take you right here right now, mates for ever in front of Eywa” he smiled darkly, walking closer to her.

She began to feel nervous. “But first I gotta convince you, to show you things that he couldn’t do to you” he spoke with pride and disgust at the same time. The mention of he was pretty disgusting for Ao’nung.

“Ao’nung, what will your parents say? I… I mean, you are the future Olo’eyktan, maybe the Gad already found you a mate” she spoke quietly.

“Nobody tells me what to do” he smiled cockily, closing the gap between them, snaking his arms around her back and pushing her body flush against his. “You wanna be mine? Are you choosing me back, sweetheart?” He cooed next to her lips.

“Yes” she responded without thinking. He smashed his lips against her. His hands went down, squeezing her butt, making her squeal into the kiss. The kissing soon turned into a make-out session, which had both of them on the floor. Ao’nung on top of Y/n. He moved her beaded top away, softly caressing her skin with the tip of his fingers.

Once he broke off the kiss, he kissed her jaw, followed by sloppy hickeys on her neck to softly kissing her breasts. Firstly with love, then with lust. He sucked and nibbled at her nipples, making her moan and squirm under his power. He held her hips to stop her from moving.

“do you like this?” He question between soft kisses and nibbles. She moaned softly before responding “yeah”. His hand swirly made its way towards her loincloth, toying her pussy through the thin fabric. He stared at her with a sly smile, looking at her while she moaned and her eyes rolled a little bit back.

His kissed trailed down her stomach before stoping and pulling at her loincloth, successfully getting her naked. Ao’nung sensed her nervousness so he pulled his own loincloth off, that way they were equal. His dick was fully erect, glistening with precum as he lowered himself to start eating her out.

He first licked softly all the wetness accumulated, taking his sweet time. His ego was being boosted by the way she squirmed and softly moved with his movements.

He began tongue-fucking into her, pretty aware of the way his nose pressed flat against her clit, the nerve bundle bringing bolts up Y/n’s spine. He slurped the juices that came out of her, obviously trying to make them as obnoxious as possible.

Y/n was near her orgasm when he began sucking her clit and finger fucking her. So he had to use both of his strong hands to keep her thighs apart and to not let her wriggle away from him. He continued sucking her clit, even after her high.

Y/n had lost her voice and now she could only moan and sigh in a high tone or squeal with really high notes. Ao’nung had never felt prouder. The way he knew she was coming again, overstimulated and he just continued to suck and suck and swirl his tongue in circles. And Y/n could only moan, scream and unknowingly buckle her hips in the search of more pleasure.

He began finger fucking her again, changing both hands pulling her down to just one arm trying to hold her. As she tried to escape the oncoming orgasm, she felt as she could pass out, her toes began curling, her whole body jumping with the bolts that run up and down, she came undone.

Her sweet scream-moan could have been heard in the whole place. Her fluids coming out rather fast as Ao’nung tried to drink as much, most of it flowing down his chin into his chest and abs. His dick twitched with interest, more precum flowing out of it. He then lapped at her entrance, trying to get the last drop, she tried to pry him away, trembling and moving with sudden spasms all over her body.

“Did you like it?” He smiled cockily, her juices still on his chin, chest and abs, now reaching the base of his cock. She wasn’t able to respond “I said did you like it? Come on, use your words” he passed a finger up her slit, pressing ever so slightly on her clit, she twitched again, her vagina pulsing over nothing. “Now, did you like it?” He threatened with his finger pretty close to her warm and wet pussy.

“Eh… ye… yes… I… I like it… alo…. A lot…” she was breathing heavily, taking her time to get back to herself.

[stripedwolf88]

The Eras Tour: Paris Night 1 (My Thoughts)

ALLLLLLLLRIGHT. So because @bettysgarden12 wanted to know my reactions and thoughts on everything that happened today, I thought I would share with the rest of yous. It's probably not going to be very in depth or analytical so fair warning on that hehe. Also this probably isn't in order of the show because my memory is trash haha.

1.First things first. The lover bodysuit. WHaT iN ThE FRiLly HeLl?!?!? I literally still don't know whether or not I dreamt of seeing that new bodysuit. Definitely, lesbian colors represented there and it was confirmed with the orange blazer she wore for The Man. It was not an accident I'm sure to have the inside be pink too.

(Side note: we all knew that The Archer was going to get cut. It actually makes a lot of sense too. I think we are past Taylor asking us to stay, not that she doesn't still hope us too. It's more like she is fine with blowing everything up now instead of focusing on the worry of messing everything up. At least I hope that is the case. We're here for ya Taylor. You got this.)

2. Second, the Fearless dress. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I also saw that it looks really reminiscent of the original dress she wore for her Fearless tour. It's almost like she is going back to what once was.

3. Third, transitioning right into Red was something. The new Red shirt says "This is not Taylor's Version" when Red is in fact Taylor's again. Some of my moots pointed out that it could be referencing the whole Real Taylor vs Taylor The Brand theory that we as a community have been developing for quite some time. With this thinking, it would mean that the Taylor we are seeing is not someone Taylor claims as her own or something like that. It's not truly her which we all knew already.

4. Fourth, we saw a new intro for Speak Now (now officially just Enchanted since Long Live has been axed.) I don't have much to say on that other than I wasn't surprised that Long Live got cut. This cut also makes sense if we are thinking that Taylor is gonna burn it down. No more reminding about the good times or the "needing" fans to stand by her forever.

5. Fifth, combining folklore and evermore was unexpected but also not? Idk it made sense and to me it just seems like it was easier to combine them since room had to be made for TTPD.

6. Sixth, Rep was Rep. Nothing really changed from what I could tell or remember other than THE FREAKING GLASS CASES SHATTERING!!! YOU BREAK THAT GLASS CLOSET TAYLOR! WHOOP WHOOP!

7. Seventh, 1989 outfit was...something. It's just not my cup of tea visually. I DID NOT notice the lion or tiger(???) charm she had on until someone else pointed it out. Very interesting either way.

8. Eighth, putting TTPD before Midnights was an interesting choice. The whole theory that we still have to meet her at Midnight (credit to my moots for pointing this out again) is supported by this I think.

9. Ninth, the dress for TTPD is amazing!! And so are the other two outfits. The marching band uniform and it's possible reference back to ME! music video? It has me in shambles.

10. Tenth, the performance for Who Afraid of Little Old Me was visually amazing and she sang it beautifully (no surprise there) with such emotion that it was impossible for me to look away. Her levitating across the stage was also freaking awesome!

11. Next the empty cages imagery?? The nurses pulling her away from her lover??? The image of her crouching in the middle of this weird ass place??? That one really kind of freaked me out. It was eerie and heartbreaking in a way I'm not quite able to explain at this moment.

12. I was conflicted about I Can Do It With A Broken Heart both before, during, and after the performance. I had a feeling she was going to perform it and I kind of wanted her to just to hear her sing it live but then not because I knew how the fans were going to react. I really did face-palm when everyone yelled "More!" on the livestream but we all knew they were going to. The transition into ICDIWABH made me want to throw something at the TV but I also did snort on the petulance on Taylor's face for the little act. I really liked the old Hollywood theme for the visuals and the dance. It was pleasing to watch. BY THE WAY....HAVING THE OUTFIT FOR ICDIWABH ECHO HER OUTFITS ON REP IS REALLY SOMETHING. She bamboozled me again.

13. Midniiiiiiights. THE BODYSUIT IS MY FAVORITE ONE OUT OF THE ONES WE HAVE SEEN SO FAR. I'm glad that Mastermind was kept. I didn't think that she would have taken away anything from the Midnights era but if there was I had this weird concern that it would be Mastermind. Thank god my anxiety was unnecessary.

14. The surprise soooooongs~ Paris is a favorite of mine so I'm happy she played it but also of course she did. That was another predictable thing that happened. Her performance of loml was again heartfelt. She seems really happy to sing these new songs and it shows.

15. I am pretty freaking sure that the Bejeweled lights were a LOT more colorful and rainbowy than usual. Was that just me? Please tell me it wasn't just me!

Overall, it is safe to say that I was not prepared for the absolute chaos that today brought.

Taylor, it seems like you're really doing this (I reeeeeally hope that is the case) and I'm so happy for you if that is what is happening. You do you and you show us what's up. I'm looking forward to it. <3

[moirindeclermont]

Daily thread about BridgertonS3 while we wait for part 2.

Let's talk about Pen, because oh boy I have thoughts 💭 and the short version is "you go girl, good for you, you deserve everything".

Let me start by making a huge shout out to Nicola because she is amazing. I'm in awe of her performance!

And also, disclaimer: this is a very personal opinion based on my experience and my views. Every opinion, as long as it respectful, is valid in my book because it's yours.

But, back to Pen. I do not have to imagine what it feels like pining for someone. To those who never experienced it, imagine all the good stuff about being in love with someone combined with the torture of not be able to he with that person. Don't recommend but sometimes it's just how it is.

And in this context what you do receive, in various form, is a recycled statements along the line of "you have to move on". By the way, and I know this might be unpopular, as long as you don't hurt anyone or go on stalker mode, pining is fine. It might pass, with time. It evolves and it changes, but as long as you're respectful there is nothing wrong with that.

Add to this the layer of "marrying is the only way to get out of this house" I don't blame her for trying. Not one bit.

I already touched on previous threads that I don't find shameful or pitiful asking to kiss Colin. It's over the top? Maybe, but losing hope can make people acting like that.

Moreover, I love that, in the beginning of the carriage scene, Pen doesn't believe Colin. Or doesn't want to believe him. It's been years, so of course you don't believe it, initially.

And I love that when Colin tries to go back "Forgive me" that's when she take a step in his direction. The bravery that it took to speak, I could not image it.

And afterwords, when they stop and Colin adjusts her dress 👀 and she says "what are you doing?" In the softest voice... I think that part broke me. Because imagine having everything you've ever wanted right in front of you, and still there is a part of her brain that doesn't believe it.

As proven by the "Colin?" When he steps out of the carriage. Because even when everything should be okay, but you're not used to happiness and comfort and security, it's normal to doubt.

It's heartbreaking but so real! And yes, there are conflicts that are going to be resolved, but let me touch briefly before this truly becomes an essay on the importance of representation.

Because it's rare to see stuff like this. So rare but so important. The fact that we are waiting to suspend our belief when it comes to Marvel and Star Wars, but we drew the line at this (which is much more common that people think) speaks to me about how much we still have to work on representing different body types.

So, in conclusion, this part 1 made me feel seen. Because everyone deserves love and connection (in different forms according to each). Everyone. Don't let anyone tell you different. Thank you, Pen. Thank you, Colin. Thank you, Bridgerton.

[rainbowdaisy13]

TTPD The Anthology Summary Part 1 *IMO*

This is viewed through a queer lens because I believe she is fucking done playing nice so now she’s throwing it in our faces—FUCKING SEE ME

1) Fortnight—

I was supposed to be sent away but they forgot to come and get me/I was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic

*MIGHTY GOD we start right out the gate sad as hell—no one noticed her queer flagging both quiet and loud and that pushed her from being a functioning alcoholic to a not functioning one. She then says to the fans who refused to acknowledge her truth “I hope that you’re ok but you’re the reason” FOR ME BEING INSANE

*Mentioning wanting to kill people that’s a first and I love it

*I love you it’s ruining my life OUCH 🤕 yes that sounds like something straight people deal with 😑

2) TTPD-

*I’m sorry I can’t remember what mutual said this, but I love love this as coming from Karlie’s perspective. It absolutely fits. She ground Taylor in a way no one else can

*First mention of suicide—both can’t live without the other

*Were crazy—owning the demons together

*The wedding ring line—GOD

3) MBOBHFT—

*I see this one as Taylor viewing herself as a commodity, also as someone who is broken and needs to be fixed so that she remains lovable. It also gives me Cardigan vibes without the redemption arc

4) Down Bad—

*Love this Alien Abduction theme. Melody is even spacey sounding. The entire song uses alien motifs and I adore it. Fave line “they’ll say I’m nuts if I talk about the existence of you” Brilliant 👽 Also the concept of an Out of this World Love

5) So Long London—

*Cool opening—beautiful when they layer her own voice

How much sad did you think I had in me? 😫

*I see this song as a My Tears Ricochet 2. Taylor giving all her youth to someone for free. You say I abandon the ship but I was going down with it—I truly believe she tried and begged them to let her come out for years and she was always shot down—2 graves 1 gun, more murder imagery

*So Long London, so long Big Machine

6) BDILH—

Absolutely beautiful and heartbreaking song

These people only raise you to cage you 😫

*Sarahs and Hannahs/braided hair/church/Elders making decisions—giving cult/LDS vibes

Stay away from her -Elders are yelling this—to who? Taylor? So Taylor needs to stay away from HER interesting

*Shed rather burn it all down than listen to them complain about her sexuality and how it impacts them

My good name, it’s mine alone to disgrace —absolutely shots fired at Scott Swift

*Soliloquies line is incredible—“I’ll never see” is such a burn 😆

*This isn’t a phase, this is who she is!!

*YOU AINT GOTTA PRAY FOR ME!! GET THEM ALL BITCH—SHOW THEIR ASSES

*This is my choice!!

GET 👏🏼 THEM 👏🏼 ALL

NO YOU CANT COME TO THE WEDDING PERIOD

7) FOTS—

*Pretty Baby, much like Babydoll is reserved for women and gay men and theys and thems. We don’t call straight men this 😒

*Fresh out the slammer—realllly trying to get these idiots to understand that she’s felt jailed /caged/trapped

My friends…Watch me daily disappearing 😫 fuck

Wearing Imaginary rings 😫😫😫 Says hello to paper rings says hello to imaginary lockets

*It’s gonna be alright she did her time!! 🥹

8) FLORIDA!!!—

I adore this song—my second fave on the album and absolute fucking banger. So glad Florence agreed to this they makes an amazing duo vocally—main vibes—Florida is the place Taylor wants to go to fucking escape the mess she lives in day to day. Anything goes, everyone is there hiding from something—the law, family, winter—nothing is too weird or unaccepted—and a certain someone has a house there 😎

My friends all smell like weed or little babies 😆

Florence’s verse is chefs kiss—Earl had to die vibes, watching bodies sink into the swamp, just full on misandry I LOVE IT—is that a bad thing to say in a song?? 😆 GET THEM ALL

Also I bet this song made Swifties uncomfortable 😆

FUCK ME UP FLORIDA 🤘🏼🤘🏿🤘🏾

9) Guilty as sin?

The Gay Longing/Gay Sex Song

*Another* suicide reference—but she’s just joking right swifities?

👀

No no that’s fine she just described an orgasm and if she’s not touching the person, let’s assume the pic below ⬇️ is like HEY THIS IS THE SEX IM SPEAKING ABOUT—it’s very much giving The Man pose for getting dome👀

And then the Jesus reference is just chefs kiss—gay sex is seen as sin and unholy by idiots and she said ok then bitch, what if I tell you the sex is so good we ARE what’s holy??

👀

She literally said messy top lip kiss and got away with it like 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

10) WAOLOM—

I just……this may be my favorite song of hers ever. It’s absolutely incredible in its intensity, rawness, and truth as well as being a banger

Every lyric screams her pain

My bare hands paved their path/you don’t get to tell me about sad/ If you wanted me dead you should’ve just said

I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street —Witch Imagery again!!

WHOSE AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME

👹YOU SHOULD BE 👹

Shots fired again at Scott Swift!! Let’s hear one more joke—they mocked her pain because they truly thought they could convince her she wasn’t gay 🫥

GODDDD 😫

Put narcotics into all of my songs—“a drug or other substance that affects mood or behavior and is consumed for nonmedical purposes, especially one sold illegally—a drug that relieves pain and induces drowsiness, stupor, or insensibility”

SHE SAID I HAVE TO USE MALE PRONOUNS AND FAKE REFERENCES TO MEN IN MY LYRICS SO YOU IDIOTS STAY STUPID AND HAPPY

and that’s why you’re still singing along 😎

Just WOW

Brilliant and Heartbreaking and RAW

🤍🤍🤍 We love you Girl 🤍🤍🤍