#it's tropey but still fresh and warm

[aetherialpiplup108]

So...episode 5 of Love Next Door implies that Seung-hyo's love for Tae-Hee was never as strong or passionate as his love for Seok-ryu, but honestly? I kind of disagree with that assessment, not just because Seung-hyo actively denies it but because it's pretty clear that he's the kind of person who loves quietly. He's not one who conjures up grand compliments on demand but someone who watches their lover closely through their lows and highs, thinks about their perspectives to help them make their own choices, and shows his affection through little things like washing their clothes or sitting with them in the rain. Tae-Hee uses the metaphor that his love was like a low flame on a gas stove and...I know the show is trying to say he wasn't as invested in his relationship with Tae-Hee, but I also think that analogy fits his relationship with Seok-Ryu, having a love that's not aired out on display, something constant and steady, something that has lasted years and still offers a place to return to (plus cooking metaphors rahhh). It's not a bad thing to have a calmer, collected type of romance that honestly provides the stability that both of them needed throughout their lives—nor is Tae Hee's desire for a more passionate, openly affectionate relationship wrong either. I think ultimately, the reason Tae Hee and Seung-hyo were incompatible isn't that one of them wasn't putting in enough effort because he was subconsciously still in love with his childhood crush living an ocean away, but because they both needed different things from their relationship and expressed their loves in different ways.

[writefightandflightclub]

Blooming most recklessly (Evgeni Kolpakov x GN reader)

What is this? This is 2/10 one-shots/blurbs for my 1 year Tumblrversary celebration, which is a deliciously tropey “friends to lovers” event. Here, the prompt is “Oh crap, I just saw you nude on/by accident and now I can’t stop thinking about you.” with Evgeni, requested by @wasicskosgirl. Thanks so much, Amanda, and I hope you enjoy it! (I didn’t know which way around you wanted it, so I hope this way is okay!).

So many fun prompts coming this week (w/c 22nd Feb), so if you’d like to follow along, pls either request a tag in my asks, or keep an eye on # Luna’s tumblrversary

Author’s note: This is a double trope, because not only is it friends to lovers, but also... they were roomates! Don’t think you need to have seen the movie to read this, though of course it helps. Basics of what you need to know if you haven’t: Evgeni is so under-rated. He’s a dreamboat. I love him. FYI: The fic title is Rilke, as Evgeni has a copy of Letters to a Young Poet in his bookcase.

Rating: Mature, for nudity and sexual thoughts.

Warnings: nudity, reader expresses some sexual thoughts but not explicit. Allusion to a reader being in a “bad situation” a while prior to the fic, but no details specified. One or two very subtle nods to Evgeni’s experience as a refugee, if you squint. Mention of smoking.

Word count: 2.9k, fuck me. I tried to make it shorter but... ah well.

Tagging: @nathan-bateman​ @foxilayde​ @supernovafeather

The sound of piano music floats into your dream, blooming most recklessly. The delicate, light notes seem to exist merely to ease you from slumber, rousing you as gently as the fingers which skim deftly over the keys. As the music finds you, you stretch, letting your body slowly come to, a beaming smile splitting your face as you remember where you are. As you remember where you are not.

You had been hesitant when Evgeni offered that you room with him. Despite your friendship, you were still colleagues, after all. Plus, you didn’t want to be a burden - although he had gone to great pains to make sure you didn’t feel like one. You know the man enjoys his solitude - which is all too rare for him between his job at Sotheby’s and attending night school. However, he had insisted, and you could not argue too keenly. You were in need of a safe port to land in when your prior situation fell through, and your dear friend understood the need for refuge well enough not to turn you away.

Waking up in Evgeni’s apartment should feel strange; disorienting, perhaps, but, in truth, he had made it feel like home from the moment you arrived. He’s made it feel like home in a way you’re not even sure you’ve experienced at any time in your life. Your friend Evgeni knows more than a thing or two about starting over, and you are grateful to have him by your side as you do the same.

Even on your first morning you stir, feeling more relaxed and rested than you’ve felt in a long while. Your eyes travel gratefully around the sparse room, blinking through the cascade of golden light. It is bare – just a couple of cardboard boxes of belongings, and your pressed work clothes hung out over the back of a crooked, wooden chair. Your smile returns. It is perfect. You swing your legs eagerly over the edge of the mattress. For once, you even want to get out of bed, the sound of Evgeni’s sweet music beckoning you deeper into the loft.

By the time you reach the open-plan living area, the playing has stopped, and Evgeni is tossing something on the stove.

“Ah, good morning,” he greets in his soft Russian accent, with a sweet, closed-lipped smile. He’s just as genial first thing, then? He’s enough to sweeten the black, bitter coffee already steaming for you on the counter, you think. “How did you sleep?”

“I actually slept. All night, which is a miracle in itself, ‘Geni,” you smile, surprising even yourself with the soft laugh which lilts out of you. You’re not used to hearing yourself so… happy.

“I’m glad,” he says, placing his hand gently on your upper arm, and looking like he means it, his soft brown eyes beaming at you. “Oh, I fixed breakfast. If it’s not how you like it, I’m sorry – I’ll get it right tomorrow.”

“You’re a sweetheart,” you praise. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

“It’s no trouble,” he insists, with a single, light squeeze to your arm.

“Is it okay if I shower first?” he asks, his eyebrow raised, and despite the fact it was no trouble, you surmise it probably was, a little, from the way his feet are already tracking hurriedly towards the bathroom. You sincerely hope he hasn’t made himself late cooking you pancakes.

Evgeni works security, and today, you recall, he’s responsible for relieving the night guard, and opening the auction house up, thus it’s an early start.

“Of course, ‘Geni, it’s your apartment.”

You think, if you’re not wrong, that he looks a little upset as you say that, his brow furrowing. “And now it’s also yours.” He says that like he means it too, and with it, you can’t help but pull the man into a hug, the realisation that you have somewhere good to be, overcoming you. Relief overcoming you. The man seems a little surprised, but his arms wrap gently around you in return, smoothing over your back. When he pulls back to search your face, your eyes are swimming with emotion.

“Are you okay? I can stay. I can ask Troy to cover for another hour if you-”

“-I’m fine. Really. I’m… happy. Now go, don’t make yourself late. Your good looks will only excuse you so many times,” you laugh, and he reciprocates with a warm, rich chuckle. Evgeni Kolpakov is a punctual man, but he had been tardy more than a few times because of you lately. Because he’s such a good friend, and he had been there when you needed him. No matter. That was before… and things are different now. Things are good now. And, you will make it up to him - even if it takes the rest of your days.

“Okay. I’ll make sure to leave you hot water,” he promises, before near-jogging in the direction of the bathroom.

A smile lingering at the corners of your lips, you next turn your attention to the fresh coffee, lifting it to your mouth for a sip. Surprise surprise, it’s already sweet. He’s like Midas, that man, except everything he touches turns to sugar. That, or he simply remembered how you like it.

You vaguely hear the spray of the shower starting up behind you as you wolf down some pretty decent pancakes. As you do so, you steal a glance at the clock on the exposed brick wall, and you begin to mentally sketch out your schedule for the day.

You have to admit that this cohabitation is off to a pretty smooth start. You will likely need to figure out a shared morning routine going forward -you idly think- as you hear the water shut off and you absent-mindedly head towards the bathroom. Maybe sometimes it would be nice to walk to work with him early, and enjoy the stroll together. You could even pick-up pastries from the –

“-Oh my God!!” you cry, as you paw the bathroom door open, and your eyes fall over Evgeni, standing in front of you entirely nude, water beading over his skin, and giving you an eyeful of his bare ass and back as you enter.

Unfortunately, it only gets worse from there, as your open-mouthed yelp alerts him to your presence and he turns around, giving you far more of an eyeful than you bargained for so early on a Monday morning. Your hands jump to your cheeks in horror, before you have the wherewithal to recoil and stumble back out into the hallway.

Immediately, you yell a string of profuse apologies over your shoulder, and you hear him mumbling (presumably cursing?) in his mother tongue through the still ajar door as you retreat swiftly back into your bedroom.  

Okay.

On second thought, maybe there are a few kinks to this cohabitation thing which still require some ironing out.

Absolutely mortified, you manage to take a few deep, calming breaths before there is an insistent knock at your door. You think about ignoring it, but it’s quite obvious that you’re in here, so, instead, you slowly peel the door back, to reveal a hastily dried and clothed Evgeni, half his lower shirt buttons still undone, and his hands currently reaching to buckle his open belt.

“The latch is broken,” he explains, looking more than a little flustered himself. “I’m so sorry. Are you alright? I’ll get a new one. Today, on my lunch break.”

“Why are you sorry? I was the one who walked in! I’m sorry, ‘Geni.”

His hands move around the circumference of his pants, hastily stuffing his shirt in. He still has a spot of toothpaste on the corner of his mouth, you note. That’s a normal thing to note though, isn’t it? How he would taste of spearmint? You shake the intrusive thought away- what’s come over you?!

“I don’t want you to think I’m that type of guy,” he says apologetically, his brows knitting together in concern.

“What do you mean?”

“You know. Invite my attractive friend to live with me, don’t secure the bathroom. Like a… creep.”

You shake your head in confusion, especially with how pained he looks, and the way his fingers skim nervously over his buzzed head.

“I only want you to feel safe here,” he says, feather soft, with full, pouting lips, and you don’t know what you did to deserve him but you’d certainly like to find out so you can keep it up.

“I do. I promise,” you insist, reaching for the loose tie slung uselessly around his neck, and taking it upon yourself to feed it under his collar, looping it around on itself into a half-Windsor as his fingers take care of his final buttons and clasps. “Now, go, ‘Geni! You’re going to be late. I’ll see you at work, okay?”

“I’ll get a latch,” he nods, talking as he moves, and shrugging on his navy uniform jacket. “On my lunchbreak. Really.”  

You follow him out to the front door, leaning against the doorframe as he laces up his boots, and as the awkwardness dissipates, the two of you finally release your tension with a splutter of laughter.

“What are you going to answer when our colleagues ask about your first day, roomie?” Evgeni asks you, gently teasing.

“’Geni,” you laugh, burying your head in your hands, squeezing your temples. “I think I’ll tell them you gave me quite the introduction.”

He smiles brightly at you in return, his eyes creasing. Then, really needing to leave, he wishes you a good day, his fingers twining gently with yours before he sets off down the hall.

It’s just habit, though, him touching you like that – he always has to keep his fingers moving. It doesn’t mean anything. A hard gulp trails down your throat.

You don’t even want it to mean anything.

After all, you’re just friends. Purely platonic. Nothing sexual there at all.

Cut to later, and you’re having a lot of sexual thoughts about your “friend”. In fact, you’ve gone fully feral.

You have already zoned-out several times during a mid-morning meeting, and twice asked for more water, causing your colleague to wonder if you’re coming down with something or feeling feverish. You certainly feel warm, but with an entirely different sort of heat. A one which hits… lower.

The image of Evgeni nude -from both behind and from the front, no less- has somehow branded itself behind your eyes and is playing on a loop. You’re not sure how you managed to commit the sight so quickly to memory, but perhaps it is your keen eye for treasures and antiquities which has allowed you to so readily recall his positively sculptural form; finer than any marble that has ever crossed the table at Sotheby’s.

How had you not realised before? Evgeni Kolpakov is maddeningly gorgeous.

You are trying desperately to come up with some explanation as to why the fact has escaped you for so long. Perhaps it is because you met him in a professional context, where you tend to supress any sexual feelings. Perhaps it is because he came into your life at a time when you could feel little but despair, never mind desire. Whatever the reason, though, now that you have realigned your perceptions, the floodgates have opened, and you are drowning.

You are drowning in thoughts of his sculpted muscles, undulating under his smooth brown skin. The set of his shoulders and strong arms. His shapely chest and stomach, with a hint of softness, leading down to a trail of black, curled hairs and his more than sizeable –

“Are you quite well?” your colleague asks as you let out an audible and entirely involuntary whimper, interrupting the proceedings.

“You know,” you bluster, coming up with some thin excuse. “I’m probably being paranoid, but I just want to check something with the security desk. I’ll be back shortly.”

You are senior enough (or dispensable enough, in your current, distracted state) that no-one protests you leaving, and so, you rise from your seat, gravitating purposefully towards the lobby. Where you know Evgeni will be, stationed at the front desk.

He beams when he sees you approach, as always, standing immediately on ceremony, as if you are royalty to him. No. No, in truth, he’s the prince, isn’t he?

“Hello, roomie,” he greets, clearly enjoying the novelty of your new nickname, and, all at once, you are taken aback by him. His sweet and humble manner. His fun, playful nature. His generous friendship. His talent. His creativity. Sensitivity. Lack of pretence. He possesses an abundance of treasures, unparalleled by the contents of any single auction house. Of all of them combined. You see it all at once.

With a smile held on the inside, you cross silently to him; wordlessly - with an intensity and passion you usually reserve only for your work, now entirely focussed on him.

He has placed his broad, dexterous hands on the surface before him. He leans forward to better speak to you. His eyes are liquid umber, with a sparkle and vitreous lustre more impressive than any gem you have thus far appraised in all of your career.

“Evgeni?” you say breathily, flattening your own palms on the surface of the reception desk, your fingertips a hair’s breadth away from touching his own.

You’re a mess. You even feel your legs weakening underneath you. And, it’s no longer because you saw him like that, in the bathroom. It’s because you see him. All at once. In his entirety.

His brow furrows and his lips pout at you as he hears his name tremble from your lips. As your fingers inch forward and unconsciously straighten his tie, and pick a speck of lint from his crisp uniform. You are close enough to smell the heady scent of his aftershave and cigarette smoke and coffee, which shouldn’t work, but somehow does. You are close enough to-

“-Is there any action on camera six?” you blurt out, snatching your hands back and away from him. Retreating.

Confused, Evgeni humours you and steals a glance at the monitor to his right, but when he sees nothing suspicious, he takes greater note of the obvious tension in your body. Of your clenched fists at the end of your jacket sleeves, which you hastily relax. He shakes his head. Nothing.

You are about to retreat, fully, when Evgeni simply breathes your name, arresting you in place with your back to him. There is a beat before he repeats it again, a little more firmly, and you slowly turn back towards him, your eyes shining with guilt, though you can tell he does not understand why.

He repeats your name one more time, barely above a whisper, and his voice beckons you to the desk, where you again plant your hands on the surface. This time, with a quiet confidence, a sensuality, his fingertips inch slowly over yours, tenderly dancing over your knuckles until he fully envelops your hands with his, his touch awakening surging music deep within you. “Did you…” he asks with a tentative curl of his lips. “Did you want to kiss me?”

His soft, non-judgmental eyes encourage you, as does the warm, reassuring touch of his hands over yours. “Yes,” you suspire, feeling as light as air with your confession.

Evgeni’s pink tongue darts out over his lips, his eyes sheening with a gentle intensity, the room so quiet and still with tension that you feel he must command silence as expertly as he commands music. This time, his ever-moving fingertips come to caress your cheek, brushing over your jawline, your chin, and your lips. “And, darling. Why did you stop?”

Why? Why did you?

All on one breath, you blurt out a run-on, non-sensical answer, entirely fracturing the mood.

Evgeni’s English is perfect, but even then there’s no chance that he caught what you were saying - not with the speed and incoherency with which you delivered it. No-one possibly could have. In fact, are you even sure what you said?

“What?” he laughs, as you fold forward and bury your head into the desk, mortified all over again. “Say it again?”

You groan, and Evgeni hinges you up from the desk by your shoulders, so that you can reluctantly repeat your sentiment, your words much slower this time around. “I don’t want you to think I’m only kissing you because I saw your cock this morning and went feral. Because it’s more than that, ‘Geni. It’s so much more than that.”

He chuckles lightly as you respond, your words not seeming to offend him. “Sure. It was my ass as well then?” he teases softly, and you bring your hands to your face again in renewed embarrassment, until he tenderly peels them away with his own, clasping hold of them safely.

“Would it help if I take you out to dinner, and after I can kiss you first? I haven’t seen you in the nude, so you know I have only pure intentions.”

Despite the silence in the lobby, your heart swells with a crescendo. “Yes, ‘Geni,” you respond, biting down on your lower lip. “I think that would help a lot. Maybe I can even try to… corrupt you.” You add with a playful, flirtatious tick of your eyebrow.

You share a smile with him, and, yet, for now you are forced to break from Evgeni as a guest enters the lobby. Knowing how much pride he takes in his job, you slink back to let him perform his duties, and yet, the guest does not have his full attention. His eyes follow you instead, as they have done, always, since your first day at Sotheby’s. Evgeni visibly suppresses the biggest smile, until he can’t any longer. And, as you walk away you hear him say “Sorry. I’m really happy today, ma’am. Tonight, I finally get to have dinner with my roommate.”

Oh. Yeah.

Maybe you should worry about that? The fact you just moved in with him last night and suddenly decided to start dating. But, for some reason… it doesn’t worry you at all.

Evgeni has always felt like home. You simply had to agree to move in. At the thought, happiness throbs in your chest, blooming most recklessly.

And you let it bloom.

Finally, you let it.

[aimmyarrowshigh]

Dark Greetings this Spooky Season Ms. V. Can we get a list of your favorite Halloween movies and specials? I know you have seen *everything* and I am trying to go beyond my usual rewatches this holiday month.

V. AIMMYARROWSHIGH’S CRITERIA FOR HALLOWEEN EPISODES

Does the Halloween element combine convincingly with the usual universe of the show (ex: Lizzie McGuire 2x09 “Those Freaky McGuires” is not good as a Halloween episode because it changes the rules of the Lizzie McGuire universe, whereas Community 2x06 “Epidemiology” is a GREAT Halloween episode because it manages to logically introduce zombies to the regular Community universe)?

Does the Halloween element advance the plot of the episode/series (ex: the reason Boy Meets World 5x17 “And Then There Was Shawn” is literally the best Halloween episode ever made is that it uses the horror movie tropes it satirizes to provide a CRUCIAL turning-point to the plot of the show)?

Is the Halloween episode in the forefront enough that it’s clearly a holiday episode (ex: HAVING ONE JACK-O’LANTERN ON A DESK DOES NOT A HALLOWEEN SPECIAL MAKE, LAW & ORDER 16x03 “GHOSTS”! You gotta go ALL-IN, like Bob’s Burgers 3x02 “Full Bars”!)?

Does the Halloween theme balance well between spooky and warm-n-fuzzy (ex: Criminal Minds 11x21 “Mr. Scratch” is too fucking bleak, but Criminal Minds 12x06 “Elliott’s Pond” has a joyous/celebratory tone to the ending despite being a genuinely scary episode)?

Is it generally a well-written, acted, and designed episode of television (ex: Saved by the Bell! 3x26 “Mystery Weekend” is seriously, not exaggerating, the worst thing I’ve ever watched in my life; Psych 1x15 “Scary Sherry, Or Bianca’s Toast” is a triumph of the medium)?

THE BEST, bar none, Halloween special ever made is Boy Meets World 5x17, “And Then There Was Shawn.” Period. There can be no argument, except MAYBE Community 3x06, “Epidemiology,” but I like “And Then There Was Shawn” better because the parody and homage as less… biting? And because I think it continues and addresses the emotional core of the regular BMW season better than “Epidemiology” does for Community s3. “Epi” DOES plant the seed (…heh) for the Season 3B major plot arc of Shirley’s pregnancy and Chang Deciding To Murder, but it gets some major minus points for mocking Yvette Nicole Brown’s weight with other characters’ responses to her costume, tbh. And “And Then There Was Shawn” is just fucking iconic. It is THE Halloween episode manual, IMO, if there were to be a textbook on how to write a perfect Halloween episode for your sitcom.

HOWEVER, I also have to give major props to Bob’s Burgers and Psych, as complete series, for their CONSISTENTLY excellent Halloween episodes. A lot of series that have multiple Halloween eps really phone it in after one or two, because they don’t have any more ideas for how to incorporate Halloween pastiches while maintaining the overall feeling of the series (tbh B99, while the Halloween Heists are excellent in general, is/has been coming very close to this line, and I think that if they HADN’T had to switch out the Heist to Cinco de Mayo in s6, they would have jumped their Heist Shark [and I think they know it, too, because it was lampshaded in the episode itself]) or they just straight-up don’t have any more ideas for what or how to have the characters they’re bound to parody or pay homage to a Halloween thing after they’ve already done one or two. And let’s be real: those one or two have probably been either The Shining or Rear Window, because those are pretty much the two that every show starts with.

Bob’s manages to make every Halloween episode feel very fresh and organic to the series, which I think they do have some leeway to do because of the nature of cartoons keeping the Belchers living a kind of loop of never aging, yk, but amazingly they’ve only done the “Tina feels too old to trick or treat, maybe? Nope, she’s not 14 yet, so there’s still time!” thing in a way that felt tropey once (in 3x02 Full Bars). They’ve been able to address Tina being 13/in 8th grade, and worrying about it being almost too late for her to keep trick or treating, in ways that were in-character and added to the overall episode in 4x02 Fort Night, 5x02 Tina and the Real Ghost, and 9x04 Nightmare on Ocean Avenue Street, without me rolling my eyes at the screen and going “TINA, EVERY SINGLE SHOW WITH A TWEEN IN IT HAS ALREADY DECIDED THAT THE AGE AT WHICH YOU MUST STOP TRICK OR TREATING IS FRESHMAN YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL, COME ON NOW” which… at this point, is a Feat. Because like, I’ve POSTED over a thousand Halloween episodes, right? But I’ve watched and screencapped ::checks folder:: 3,905 Halloween episodes since 2014. Which is, um, a. lot. The ACTUAL BEST Bob’s Burgers Halloween episode is 6x03, “The Hauntening,” which is just… achingly perfect television. I know I’ve posted about it before (probably a couple times tbh) but the way that it aired originally back-to-back with The Simpsons 27x04, “Halloween of Horror,” so that the evening of Sunday cartoons juxtaposed eight-year-old Louise whose family worked so hard to scare her like she wanted with nine-year-old Lisa’s family working so hard to keep her from being too scared and make sure that she felt safe… reader, I FUCKIN CRIED. Little girls being deeply loved while also Spoopy Things!!!!!! IS WHAT HALLOWEEN SPECIALS ARE!!! FUCKIN!!!!!! ABOUT!!!!!!!

Psych, though, has the benefit of not really having any, like… central tone to the series? Beyond “friendship” and “having fun with joking,” tbh? So it’s able to do what a lot of series get docked “points” for in my Foolproof Halloween Special Ratings System That Is Completely Subjective To My Tastes And Mood, which is really just run full-tilt into parody and homage without really worrying about overall tonal connection to the rest of the season or series. 1x15, “Scary Sherry, or, Bianca’s Toast,” while it DOES fall victim to the way-too-common Halloween episode trap of making mental hospitals into a Scary Thing (they are a medical normality and a necessary thing for health for many people and should not be feared), is delightful Spooky Fun AND has the benefit of having Shannon Woodward in it.* We all know by now that if an episode of any show has Shannon Woodward as the guest star, it will by default end up being one of the best, if not THE best, episodes of that series. It’s just how having Shannon Woodward as your guest star rolls. I also really like, with Psych’s Halloween episodes, that quite a few of them understand the underlying thematic scope of Horror, which is “The Monstrous Feminine Is A Thing And All Horror Tropes Are Actually About Women’s Interior Lives Because Men Can’t Write Women And Fear Women Always,” yk, in a way that is neither TOO Actual Horror, which I am too afraid of to Do, or too trite and demeaning, which is the other basic trap that Halloween stuff falls into A Lot. Like, Scary Sherry is very much about women villainizing other women, avenging other women, and being in very specifically-female pain, even though Shawn & Gus are still the lens through which we solve the mystery, and so are 4x04 The Devil Is In The Details And The Upstairs Bedroom and 6x03 This Episode Sucks. But they give their Monstrous Females dignity and breadth, which is impressive, ESPECIALLY since they’re one-off guest characters. Also, 3x15 Tuesday the 17th is just plain funny and well-done, like, just give it props for the title alone.

*(Speaking of Shannon Woodward, another amazingly good Halloween episode is Raising Hope 4x07, “Murder, She Hoped,” which is among my very favorite Rear Window homage episodes and has probably the funniest gag in ANY Rear Window ep, in Martha Plimpton floating across the screen in the Grace Kelly silk nightgown and peignoir and announcing that it was on sale at Walmart, can you believe?! and honestly, yes. Perfection.)

Also excellent:

• The Addams Family (1991) + Addams Family Values (1993) • Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School (RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU WERE GAY FOR SIBELLA AS A CHILD!) • Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost (RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU'RE GAY BECAUSE THE HEX GIRLS!) • Halloweentown + Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge • Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire! • Z•O•M•B•I•E•S (to a lesser extent, Z•O•M•B•I•E•S 2) • Clue (1985) • Coraline • Corpse Bride • 6teen 2x00 Dude of the Dead • Arthur 21x00 Arthur and the Haunted Treehouse • Lamb-Chop in the Haunted Studio • Arthur 8x04A Fern-kenstein's Monster • Arthur 10x02 The Squirrels • WandaVision 1x06 The All-New Halloween Spooktacular (I KNOW YOU, SPECIFICALLY, DEAR @plavoptice, HATE MCU!WANDA AND I DON'T BLAME YOU, YOUR REASONS ARE VERY VALID! But this is a good Halloween special so I'm putting it on my list In General.) • Boy Meets World 2x06 Who's Afraid of Cory Wolf? • Ghostbusters (2016) • Gravity Falls 1x12 Summerween • Leverage 4x02 Ten L'il Grifters Job • The Loud House 2x40 Tricked! • Mockingbird Lane 1x00 Unaired Pilot • It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! (Classic, etc.)

I'm SURE I'm forgetting some that I'll rewatch this year myself. I'm a big Halloween Baking Championship fan, tbh, which is on Discovery+ now so I recommend that if you like mostly-relaxing nice people baking cakes that look like bats and such.

I'm also IMMENSELY INTENSELY EXCITED for The Muppets' Haunted Mansion on Disney+ next week!!!

[stillebesat]

Catch Me (If You Can) -Part 1

December Drabbles Day 17 Sanders Shorts: Remy  Sanders Sides: Logan  Blurb: Remy would not allow himself to be seen as needy and helpless in front of the general masses. He had an image to uphold. One of perfect health, snarky comebacks, and general sassiness. He didn’t get sick. Fic Type: Sick!Fic, Guardian!AU Overall Fic Warnings: Sickness, Fainting, Mentions of Religion Taglist in reblog. 

He tried to push open a pull door. That’s how Remy knew he was in trouble. 

“Gurl. Seriously?” He rasped, wincing at how his voice sounded like he’d been stranded in the Sahara Desert for twelve years. 

That wasn’t good. 

He needed to sound perfect. Perfectly uncaringly carefree that is. No one needed him sick. No siree. No. Remy would not allow himself to be seen as needy and helpless in front of the general masses. He had an image to uphold. One of perfect health, snarky comebacks, and general sassiness. He didn’t get sick.

The fact that the words ‘PULL’ were dancing right in front of his bloodshot eyes and he’d still tried to push open the freaking door was beside the point. 

Remy swallowed in a failed attempt to soothe the fire burning his throat to a crisp as he drew up his flagging energy to pull open said door. Pushing would have been so much easier. Taken less energy. Energy Remy was barely managing to keep above empty at the moment. No, if the cool glass door had only allowed him to let his weight fall against it in order to gain access into the local cafe that the interwebs claimed had a cure-all chicken based chili that could fix any illness within the hour, they both would have been much better off.  

Hopefully this was more of a fifteen minute cure. Remy would be spending the last of his money on this soup. He didn’t have an hour to feel better. Not after being laid up in his closet sized bedroom for the past two days with nothing but water in his apartment. He had places to be, a midterm exam to nail and a delightful after party to attend.

Adjusting his sunglasses, Remy walked-he did not stagger!-inside and paused to take in the place as the first nauseating wift of eggs and bacon hit his nose.

Quaint. 

That was the first word that came to his spinning mind. A quaint little cafe that practically screamed fifties country diner. Warm. Inviting. Probably run by a white-haired grandmother who adopted all the college kids as her precious grandchildren and piled their plates high with food to ensure that they got a ‘proper meal.’ 

At least that’s what he thought normal grandmothers did. His old hag had lived off of bread and butter for so long Remy doubted the creature masquerading as his granny knew other food existed. She certainly hadn’t when he’d been forced to stay weekends there as a kid. 

Focus.

Remy tugged at the collar of his jacket, already feeling sweat running down his back and prickling on his forehead. Too Warm. Grandma needed to turn on the AC. 

Focus.

There were far more of his peers hanging out here than he’d expected, doubling vision to be ignored, and he did not want to make a fool of himself by throwing up two steps inside the building. 

Remy took a shallow breath to avoid smelling more eggs. This soup better be heaven sent, because if it smelt anything like whatever was currently cooking...he doubted he would be able to keep it down.

“--lp you?” 

Remy blinked, lowering his sunglasses as he turned to the singular cadentic voice that cut through the buzzing in his head and promptly forgot that his lungs worked. 

If the soup wasn’t angelic, the help certainly was. 

Tall, lithe, with sharp sapphire eyes accentuated perfectly by a pair of glasses. The man standing at the counter was like the handsome stranger one meets in a romcom. That or one of those cherubic angels -minus the tropey golden locks- he’d been forced to stare at whenever the old hag had dragged him to church.

Remy pushed his shades back up, hiding his bloodshot eyes. What sort of deal with God had this Grandma made to have such a dark haired handsome glass of yesness working for her?

The man raised a singular perfect eyebrow. “Can I help you?” He repeated in that same melodious voice.

Remy nodded, not yet trusting himself to speak without sounding like a harpy in the face of such a wonderful tone. 

Focus.

First approach. 

Sticking his hands in his jacket pockets, Remy sauntered -he did not sway not at all, he was in perfect control of his balance thank you- up to the counter and leaned against it, offering his most dazzling smile to the man. 

Moment of truth.

“Hey, honeycakes.” He said keeping his tone low to prevent the rasp in his voice from being heard. “Where’s your Halo? Cus you, my dear, are quite the Angel.” 

Nailed it.

The man pursed his lips in a thin line, his head moving in the slightest of shakes. “Unfortunately, we’re out of honey cakes, sir.” He said, tilting his head to the display of desserts in the glass next to him. “But our triple death by chocolate cake will send you,” his hands moved to form air quotations -who did that anymore?- “over the edge.” 

Ooo was that a threat or an invitation? Remy flashed another smile, tugging at the collar of his jacket. So warm in here. “So long as you’re there to catch me, Honeybee. I’ll gladly leap over any edge for you.”

The man adjusted his black rimmed glasses, moving to the register. “So you want the cake then? That’ll be $3.58. For here or to go?” 

Seriously? Remy gaped before clicking his tongue in exasperation and straightened, only to grab the counter to keep himself from falling backwards as his legs nearly buckled. 

Focus Darlin. Get in. Get out. Get healthy. Flirt later. 

“Actually.” He flinched as his voice grated in his ears. He swallowed, again lowering his tone to hide the soreness of his throat as he rested his elbows on the counter. “I came for your ah--”  He flicked his eyes up to the menu overhead, briefly lowering his shades to squint at the wiggling letters. “Chicken Chili a la Cluck.” 

A spark of recognition flashed in the Angel’s eyes. “Ah, you are under the weather?”

“Wha--NO!” Shoot. Was it that obvious? “No, ma’am!” His voice cracked as Remy jerked his hand up in the scout salute. “On my honor it's for a….” He trailed off. Well that was a pretty pickle. How the blazes could he lie if he was promising on his honor? 

The man crossed his arms the faintest of smiles appearing on his lips. “Let me guess? A friend?” 

Was that excuse used a lot then? He shrugged, shivering as a chill ran down his back. Geez, Grandma had cranked the AC up a little too high now. The place was going to freeze over any second. “I just wanted a taste of home-made soup is all.” He managed, rubbing his arms. “To go.” 

Handsome remained silent, seemingly staring straight into his soul, bright blue eyes analyzing him like a hawk about to swoop down upon a rabbit.

Geez. He was no rabbit! Remy fixed a smile on his face, ignoring how his gums ached. Don’t show weakness. Not in front of his peers. He was fine. He totally didn’t feel like his knees were going to buckle at any second. Not at all. He could hold it together for a few minutes longer.

Abruptly the man nodded, releasing Remy from his analyzing stare as he pushed his glasses up so that the glare of the lights overhead on the lenses hid his eyes.

A pity. He could stare into those glorious eyes all day long.

“Of course, Total is $4.78 for the half size.”

Perfect. He only had a five anyways. “Ah, Sugarbee, truly you are an angel to provide me with such an affordable price for homemade goodness.” He purred, shifting slightly to fish out his limp wallet from his back pocket. This soup better be divine. If he kept up this conversation much longer his throat truly would catch fire. 

The man raised an eyebrow, holding out his hand. “I am not the one to thank for deciding prices, sir.” 

Sure sure. Grandma was the one who did, sweet soul that she was, making things affordable for all her poor adopted college children. 

“I’m sure if such an angelic being such as yourself set the prices then they would be even more heavenly.” Remy swallowed wishing the soup already was in his grasp as he finally pulled out the crumpled bill, fingers betraying him by trembling. “Even so, you can keep the--” 

The Angel’s cool fingers brushed his own, feeling like a breath of fresh air on a hot summer’s day. Remy’s breath caught in his throat, hazy mind short-circuiting at the unexpected touch. How he wanted to take those hands and-- GET A GRIP REMY! “--change.” He choked out, dropping his hand to the counter before he did something even more stupid than pushing on the pull door. 

Smooth. Real smooth. Geez Gurl. Keep it together! 

But that didn’t stop his fingers from tingling, nor from the room suddenly feeling like a sauna. What had happened to the arctic temperatures freezing him two minutes ago? 

The man huffed, slipping the five into the till. “Your soup will be out momentarily, sir.” He said, dropping the coins into the nearby tip jar with an all too loud clink. “If you could step aside so I could help the next customer in line?” 

Remy glanced behind him, lowering his glasses. Internally he cursed as he took in the gaggle of people he could barely focus on. Shoot. When had they come in?! He usually was more aware of that sort of thing. 

“Relax, Specs.” Said the guy right behind him, wearing a simple red shirt that showed off nicely toned arms.

Specs? What an ugly nickname. The Angel behind him was far more than his glasses.

 “I don’t mind the wait.” Red flashed a smile to Remy. “It’s not everyday I get to witness someone flirting with you.” 

Really? He had to have misheard that. “Who wouldn’t flirt with him?” Remy asked, casually straightening slowly enough that his vision wouldn’t tunnel. “Honeybee here is absolutely…” He gestured to give himself a chance to swallow back the agony rising in his throat. “Divine.” 

Red’s grass green eyes sparked with humor as he looked beyond Remy. “So I keep telling him.” 

“You tell me yes, and we both know you’re prone to drastic exaggeration.” His Angel stated, barely twitching as the chef rang the bell, placing a to-go bowl within range for ‘Specs’ to reach if he would simply turn around and grab Remy’s food. “Now are you going to order or are you just here to antagonize me at work again?” He asked. 

“Mmmm. Gurl. No. No.” Remy shook his head, whirling to fully face his cadentic Angel and promptly regretted it, placing a hand on the counter as his knees almost buckled. Hold on. Hold on. He was fine. “Ah--” He forced a smile to his face, fighting to see through his darkening shades, to look into those wondrous eyes. “Red here---no---doesn’t lie. You are an….an….ange--” The words suddenly felt heavy on his tongue as the diner tilted, the pressure of the cool marble top fading from his fingers as he fell backwards. 

“HEY!”

A band of ice wrapped around his wrist, jerking Remy upwards. His eyes fluttered open enough to see his Angel lunging over the counter, one hand holding his, the other clenching onto his jacket, saving his head from hitting the tile floor.

Well how about that? 

“You…caught me.” He whispered in stunned disbelief as his Angel’s bright blue eyes seemed to fill his entire world before everything went black.

To Be Continued Part 2

[gas-station-trackphone]

Fic Recs/Mandatory Reading for Reddie fans

Here is an incomplete list of some of my favorite Reddie fics on ao3, because i cannot get over the sheer talent of this fandom’s wonderful writers! A lot of these are the Greatest Hits that you’ll find on almost every fic list, but that’s why I consider them mandatory reading. like if you haven’t read some of these, what are you doing?

the years go by like days by georgiestauffenberg, rated M

the 27 years in between, but better because richie and eddie stay together. every time i think of this fic, i think of that lady gaga meme where she’s like “brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, etc” and maybe it’s bc this is one of the first reddie fics i ever read, but this one is always gonna be my favorite

broken record by spunknbite, rated E

the mother of all time loop fics. every reddie veteran gets chills at the phrase “the house on Neibolt was still standing”

literally everything by stitchy

like seriously just clear a few days bc you’re not gonna want to stop reading this author once you start. no other author has made me literally fucking cackle in one paragraph and sob in the next like this one, pls do yourself a favor and devour all their works like i did 

the night we met (take me back) by camerasparring, rated E

ch2 fix-it where eddie shows up at richie’s door alive and with no memory. great slow burn with a wonderfully conflicted richie, 10/10

let’s hear it for my baby! series by cloudings, rated E

OOOOOOOHHH boy! a modern teen!reddie grindr AU that’s both steamy AND sweet?? more like a fucking blessing amen hallelujah

a heart that laughter has made sweet by marjaani, rated E

another lovely teen!reddie fic that’s got it all! sweet, stupid boys, humor, a teeny bit of angst, and some 5-alarm fire smut with some top eddie, as a treat

keep talking. i’ll keep walking toward the sound of your voice. by theappleppielifestyle, rated T

angst with a happy ending is my favorite, and this one is just fantastic. so sweet, so sad! and stan is featured as eddie’s afterlife buddy and idk about y’all but i cannot get enough of stanley uris in my reddie fics. read this, then read all this author’s reddie fics, they’re all amazing

collateral by loosecannon, sheepknitssweater, rated E

a post-ch2 fic that i guess could be classified as fix-it, BUT with some very interesting twists. they beat the clown, everyone lives, but no one really gets the tropey happy ending. the WIP sequel is also incredible and i live for the updates.

the greater fool  series by mischiefmanager, mostly rated T with some E

this is a series i’ll reread a lot bc it’s so fucking good. follows young reddie into early adulthood, mostly a bunch of cute shit where they figure out themselves and their relationship. also contains the single best teen reddie fic in existence, he came in through the window, but reading the whole series is a must

brokeback derry and everything else by Amuly, rated E

27 years in between, richie and eddie reconnect in their 20s and meet back up in derry twice a year to remember and love each other before going back to their lives and forgetting. so much pain. there’s a lot of sweet stuff in there, but you can see shit’s gonna get complicated from miles away and the anticipation almost gave me stomach ulcers (in a good way). ultimate angst with a happy ending.

let me name the stars for you by playedwright, rated M

speaking of angst with a happy ending...Martian AU!!!!! this one fucked me up in the best way, i literally called my roommate at 2am to vent to her about my emotions after reading it. i go back and reread chapter 8 just to be overwhelmed by it, and it makes me cry every time. plus, there are awesome sequels/companion pieces in the series! read this, i beg you!

walk through fire for you by hyruling, rated T

unwind after all that angst with some cute, drunk, confused eddie being very upset when he finds out richie is engaged. richie only teases him a little before pointing out the matching ring on eddie’s finger. 

in the heat of the summer (you're so different from the rest) by kaboomslang, rated E

post-ch2 slow burn with tags that really say it all, including but not limited to: eddie moves to california and richie is a mess, Eddie Kaspbrak’s Hot Girl Summer, and cute middle aged man dates

pivotal moments by danfanciesphil, polypocket, rated E

high school reddie has a sort of fwb thing goin on, but emotions get in the way. featuring wonderful bevchie friendship, hella miscommunication, cute double dates, high eddie, and a happy ending

like a bullet in the back by jerry_duty, rated M

adult idiots in love! a personal favorite trope of mine! slow burn with a fair helping of angst but a really great ending. richie stays with eddie in new york while he’s there on business, and it takes these losers SO LONG to figure it out but the way they dance around it is very cute

no sense of living without aim [WIP] by liesmyth, rated E

richie and eddie meet on grindr in the 27 years between and hey, whadda ya know, they fall in love! i really love this fic but i’m pretty sure it’s been abandoned. i’ve had it open on my phone browser for like 3 months with no update but i still check it regularly bc i’m pathetic and this fic is just so good i’m DYING to know what happens next so read at ur own risk

a strange sense of familiarity [WIP] by Katranga, rated E

another “they meet and fall in love without remembering” fic, and even though it’s not complete yet, it gets regular updates. oh, also, i’m obsessed with it. they’re long distance fuck buddies who can’t admit they’re in love, and then they get hit with the childhood memories! and everyone lives! what’s not to love!  also PLEASE read kisses take like mint and every other reddie work by this author, they are all fantastic

adult friends by sudowoodo, rated T

AU where adult reddie meet at a first aid seminar for work (immediately fall in love), become friends, become best friends, and finally get to be happy. has some super repressed eddie and intensely pining richie, which is always fun, and genuinely made me laugh out loud. also please check out this author’s other reddie fics, there’s some super sweet kid reddie in there that really warms the heart

the mind's a funny fruit by joldiego, rated T

eddie wakes up barely alive in derry, has 0 memory, calls himself richie, and moves in with some lesbians. an absolute must read that ought to be on every reddie fic rec compilation. i read this a long time ago and just thinking about it makes me want to read it again.

now what i'm gonna say may sound indelicate [WIP] by IfItHollers, rated E

it took me entirely too long to find this fic since i joined the fandom, and it’s truly a fucking masterpiece. it’s almost at 200k now and still unfinished, and the slow burn is excruciating, but this is a legendary fic for a reason. eddie spends the first chunk of this fic in the hospital recovering from the massive chest wound, and then he and richie move the recovery to ben’s cabin in the woods. the author’s notes for each chapter are a story in themselves

signs of a new lifetime by swordfishtrombones, rated T

one of the sweetest, most romantic reddie fics i’ve ever read. a fresh take on a classic concept: post-ch2, they’re in love, they haven’t said/done anything about it yet, BUT!!! it’s not angsty! they are all cute and giggly like “you say it first!” “no, you say it first!” and it makes me fucking MELT

broadcasting tower by swordfishtrombones, rated E

back-to-back recs from the same author! bc i love these fics so much! sort of similar to the last one in that they both know what’s up and just haven’t said it, but this one’s got the angst! i didn’t know when i read it that it was the same author as the other fic, and i thought how funny, i found another reddie author that perfectly captures this pair in such a wonderfully romantic way! i also just noticed there’s a follow up to this so now i have to go read that immediately

eurydice; the original comeback kid by Vulcanodon, rated M

for the love of god please read this and the other work in this series. it’s a ch-2 fix-it with some intense action sequences and major pining, and it has haunted me since i first read it

love on the telephone by tempestbreak, rated E

okay this one is really just 30k of pure smut but it’s also so sweet and features a mini sexual awakening for eddie and some insecure richie with an emphasis on how much they love and trust each other. also it doesn’t hurt that the smut is fire, like does anyone else want that twink obliterated, or is it just me?

the boy who loves you by candlejill, rated E

eddie lives, richie confesses, things are chill and then they’re not. richie’s career flourishes, which is always nice to read and is what ultimately catalyzes eddie’s gay awakening and realization of his love for richie. it’s got some sad angsty parts and a very sweet ending, and it up there as one of my favorite reddie fics of all time

richie and eddie break up [WIP] by skeilig, rated M

a refreshing and realistic take on life ch-2 for the losers, because being in love at thirteen doesn’t mean you can fall into a perfect relationship at 40. i’ll admit, i’m hoping this will ultimately be a “richie and eddie get back together” fic, but it’s still a very good read (and often very funny in the second chapter) at the moment in the midst of their break up

september 1989 and everything else by pineapplecrushface, rated T

cute kid reddie figuring it out and making me smile. the follow up to this and the after derry series by this author are also personal favorites

go west by ssstrychnine, rated T

road trip fic! an absolute work of art slow burn with teen reddie in the 90s. it’s so beautifully written i just wish i could go back and read it for the first time again

the edification of eddie kaspbrak by tozier, rated M

character study with some incredible fucking prose, my lord it gorgeous. explores how eddie learns about love as he grows up, and it’s super fucking sad sometimes bc the poor boy doesn’t know how to have the things he wants and i just want to give him a hug, but it’s really a spectacular fic

circular motion by sinchronicity, rated M

soulmate!AU that follows book canon and even though it’s been a long time since i’ve read it and the details are fuzzy, i remember absolutely loving it and thinking it was incredible

tell me you know by RichiesToesHurt, rated E

college losers with some severely pining and jealous richie with a lovely ending 

predicament bondage [WIP] by dgalerab, rated E

i resisted reading this fic for so long, recently broke and binged all of it, and now i’m like frothing at the mouth for updates. richie’s a closeted actor/comedian who meets eddie, a professional Dom, when he needs help researching a role. they become friends, they develop crushes, richie realizes he’s a sub, and it’s just so much fun to read

there’s a lot more fics to rec so i might add on to this in the future, but in the meantime my biggest tip for for reading fanfiction that took me embarrassingly long to figure out: focus on the authors! if you read something you like, check out the rest of the work by that author bc odds are you’ll like that too. i mentioned it in a few specific works above, but check out the authors catalogues for these fics. if i included every work by these authors that i loved, this list would be miles long

feel free to add on any great stuff i missed, there’s sure to be tons of it!

[gideongrace]

5 & 23 from the ace prompts 🤩

5. "I have been waiting for you my entire life." 

+

23. "You are not allowed to die first, got it?" 

Okay, this one had me stuck for like, a week. I just couldn't come up with anything for it that wasn't super cheesy and tropey and cliche. But then I just decided to be cheesy and tropey and cliche instead anyway. 

(And to everyone else that sent prompts, sorry! I did get them, I am getting to them! I just also sorta got carried away by plotting out that amnesia steve fic…)

//

Billy runs in through the front doors of the hospital at full speed, ready to roar and to scream and to tear the place apart but instead of any of that, he takes a deep breath, adjusts the strap of his duffle bag that he suddenly realizes he had no need to drag inside and looks around for the front desk. This isn't the hospital he's used to, so he has no idea where it is. 

And he can't find it.

He looks and he looks and he looks and still, he can't find it.

This isn't the hospital he's used to, he doesn't know anybody who works here and he's fresh off a really rough, really long shift. 

He hadn't even gotten to go home and shower, he'd only just stepped out the door into the bright, warm, mid-afternoon sun, taken a single, deep breath and only just decided his plan of action was he was gonna go home, shower, then maybe go surprise Steve with a pizza when he'd gotten the phone call.

And he hasn't taken a single deep breath since. He just ran straight for his car, drove all the way across town to this neighborhood he doesn't know and this hospital he doesn't know and he tries to think of everything, of anything El's ever told him about PTSD or panic attacks, stuff she's said help people calm down when they're experiencing things like that, because he's experiencing something like that right now, he's got enough sense left to know that much but none of what she's said is sticking, none of it is applicable and -

The rage he's gotten so good at tamping down boils over in his blood and swims in his skin and he feels like he's gonna scream but instead he pulls at his hair, but he only manages to grab at too-short, freshly shaved sides with not near enough left on top and he takes a breath, and he's going to scream, he's going to scream - 

But then there's a hand on his shoulder and a soft, sweet voice saying, "You need some help?" and everything in him crumbles as he turns to see a sweet-faced and tall (very, very tall) man in poorly-fitting light blue scrubs behind him. 

"Uh, yeah," Billy says, somehow managing to get the words to push out past his numb, numb lips, "do you, uh, do you know where the, uh, front desk is?"

The guy nods, shaggy brown hair falling into his big, brown eyes. (It doesn't make Billy think of anybody. It doesn't.)

"Sure," the guy says, his hand still clamped to Billy's shoulder. "I'll show you." 

He directs Billy towards a slightly labyrinthine-looking set of corridors that Billy had distinctly avoided and he does it still with his hand on Billy's shoulder, guiding him like a captain guides a ship, like he'd seen the look on Billy's face, the terror and the panic and he'd recognized it. It makes sense. El and Mike are always telling him people panicked about - about loved ones, those who really, truly care, they almost always have the same look, even if it's contained itself to just their eyes, it's always there, it's always present, that panic, that fear. And Billy guesses this guy, working in a hospital as he does, he's probably as familiar with that look as EMTs like El and Mike would be. 

"Just right here. Ellen'll help you find who you're looking for," the guy says as he deposits Billy in front of the front desk with its big, red 'reception' sign, the one Billy wishes he could've - knows he should've - found on his own. 

"Yeah, thanks," Billy says as the guy claps him on the back and wanders off, probably to help some other poor soul like the good, good dude he is. 

Ellen, the nurse behind the desk, on the other hand, looks Billy up and down appraisingly, cold green eyes assessing, assessing, assessing and clearly finding him wanting somehow. Maybe it's the rough haircut he'd given himself, maybe it's the sweatpants and grungy white tank top he's wearing, maybe it's the big, fat, homemade "Station 52" logo patch on the front of his duffle bag that Max had custom made for him. Maybe this woman hates firefighters. Maybe she can tell that he's gay, can smell it on him and maybe she's homophobic.

Or maybe, the last five percent of his brain capable of rational thought tells him, maybe that's just her face and it's not personal.

"Who're you looking for, dear?" she asks, even though she clearly thinks he's anything but dear. 

"Um, uh," he stammers and god, he hasn't been this awkward, hasn't said um and uh this much since middle school, "Steve Harrington?"

Her face tightens, her tall stack of thick gray hair wobbles just a little and Billy's stomach prepares itself for free fall, for bad news, for - 

"Alright, he's in Room 357, just on the third floor-" and she keeps going, keeps giving instructions after that, but Billy doesn't hear them, is too overwhelmed with the taste, the feeling, the rush of sheer relief that hits him with the knowledge that Steve has a room number, which means that Steve has a room, which means that Steve hasn't died in the time it took him to drive here or in the time he spent wandering, lost. It means Steve isn't in surgery and these are both very, very good things.

That surge of joy fades out with a mewling whimper after Billy gets lost another two times looking for Steve's room, as it occurs to him, What if Steve's only not in surgery because he's too weak to survive it? and, Just because he wasn't dead however many minutes ago, doesn't mean he's not dead now.

And he still can't find the room, isn't even sure he's on the right floor anymore, but there is one thing he knows for sure, one thing he knows for certain:

Whenever he sees that partner of Steve's, Dustin whatever, he's gonna tear him limb from limb, gonna tear him apart, gonna rend flesh from bone for not telling him more over the phone than, "Steve's been shot and we're at St. Mary's, you should get here like, now."

As he wanders down yet another meaningless white hallway, he feels that rage boiling again, feels like he's going to lose it again until he turns a corner and sees a row of feet all clad in plain, dark, sensible shoes and looks up to see a line of officers, most still in uniform, all sitting stuffed end over end, just one too many in a row of old, creaky, metal and ugly navy felt hospital chairs. 

He almost smiles at having finally, finally found them - because of course there's a whole crew of people waiting for his boy, of course there is, that's probably why the nurse at the front desk got so annoyed, there's at least ten people sitting and jamming up this small hallway and here he is, adding to it, but -

Then it occurs to him:

Why are all these people waiting here? 

Why are they all…

He looks around at all their faces and each and every one of them has that pinched look, that capsized-rowboat-in-the-ocean look that Mike's told him about, that panicked look that loved ones get that El's talked about, that restless, hopeless rage that he's been feeling on and off since he got that call and if -

And if they all look the same way then maybe…

Then maybe those feelings he's been feeling aren't an overreaction like the last five percent of his brain capable of hope has been hoping, praying, wishing for it to be.

That last five percent shuts down and dies a quiet, lonely death as his eyes connect with those of one of the guys sitting in the middle of the row and he sees fear there, sees panic, and sees rage there. 

He feels himself capsizing in the ocean of this near stranger's sad blue eyes and as his terror over this spreads he feels his stomach pick itself up and ready to launch at his lungs which have suddenly decided to forget what it is they're supposed to do, like they've ever had more than just the one job and now maybe they're just a little confused. 

Billy himself is a lot confused, because he and this guy just keep staring at each other and nobody is saying anything.

Why is nobody saying anything? 

Then someone comes stumbling into him from behind, saying, "Well, it certainly took you long enough," and it's Heather and the way she says it sets Billy's teeth on edge because he can't figure out her tone, can't figure out what she means and - 

She points him in the direction of Steve's room, even if it's almost right in front of him and he's grateful, really, he's grateful (he's grateful and he's terrified) as she pushes him inside, not giving him the space nor the time to chicken out or run away. 

And he lets out a sigh at the sight of Steve lying before him, lets out a sigh even as his heart ripples and creaks under the weight of his exhaustion. 

He pulls a smooth, blue, and terribly squeaky plastic chair up to Steve's good side and tries to hold his breath, tries not to smell that cloying, abrasive antiseptic smell that fills the room, tries instead to imagine Steve's favorite cologne, that woodsy, citrusy one. 

He tries not to focus on the IV in the back of Steve's hand, tries not to focus on the cannula in his nose, tries instead to think of Steve pressed up behind him in bed, of Steve's hands warm and comforting on his chest and Steve's nose pressed into his hair or the back of his neck and inhaling deeply.

He tries to ignore the thick, white, starchy-looking bandages covering Steve up from his left shoulder to his elbow, he tries to ignore the way Steve's eyes are closed and what that might mean, he tries to ignore all of that and just see Steve -

He tries to but he can't. 

"I have been waiting for you my entire life," Billy says. He grabs Steve's hand and grips it tight. "You are not allowed to die first, got it?" 

Steve surprises him by squeezing back and saying, "I'll try my best," and being an idiot and trying to sit up with a freaking bullet wound in his freaking arm.

Billy pushes him back to the bed with his free hand on his good shoulder and winds up positioned very awkwardly for a moment before Steve finally relents and lays back down.

What he says next makes it worse. 

"I'm fine, though, you know." 

Like it's nothing. Like getting shot is nothing. Billy supposes it's meant to be comforting, to be reassuring, but instead it makes Billy see red. 

"You're in the hospital." Billy tries for soft, he really does. He wants to cradle Steve's face in his hands and press sweet, quiet kisses to his lips, but instead Steve said that and now he's snarling.

"Yeah," Steve says, voice either forced calm or drugged oblivious and Billy isn't sure which, "but it's okay, it didn't hit anything vital and the doc says I'll be fine in about a month or two." 

"You're in the hospital," Billy says again, louder this time. He can feel himself growing claws and he feels overwhelmed, feels a need to claw at something, to scratch, to bite. To destroy. 

Lucky for him, this is exactly when Dustin strolls in carrying flowers and looking particularly guilty.

Unlucky for him, Dustin says, "What the hell, man? I barely got to telling you we were here and you told me you were coming and hung up. Me and Heather tried calling you back like six times and no answer. We  were just about to send someone out looking for you." 

And. 

"Oh." It's all Billy can think to say. Then, "Sorry."

But then Steve just has to pipe back in with, "See? If you'd let Dustin get to it, he'd have told you that I'm fine, too." 

And boy, is that ever the wrong thing to say because it has Billy roaring with, "You are in a hospital with a bullet in your arm, Steve, you're not fine."

And Dustin politely interjecting with, "Okay, woah, woah, nobody said anything about you being fine. There's a lot of distance between you and 'fine' right now, Steve."

Steve's eyes narrow, that medicated calm sliding from his face even as Billy sees the last drops of whatever medication they've got him on dripping down from the bag and into the IV line. 

"You literally came home with your hair singed last week," Steve says, like he thinks the fact that they both have dangerous jobs is somehow going to win him this argument. 

"Yeah, and that was just my hair! You're in the hospital!" Billy shouts. This time, he fully shouts because apparently, Steve's not going to get it unless it's screamed at him.

"And I'm fine!" 

Or maybe he's just not going to get it at all.

From the doorway, Dustin laughs and Billy is on him in a second.

"What's so funny?" he snarls but Dustin keeps laughing.

"Just…" he says, unable to stop laughing even as he's trying to speak, "Just say 'I love you' and get it over with, already, both of you."

Steve's face goes as tomato red as Billy's suddenly feels. 

But neither of them says it. Neither of them says anything. 

fic tag squad:

@a-magey @xgardensinspace @myboyfriendsteve @haxpr0cess @thinger-strang @nagdabbit @demi-don @lissieisspacey @tracy7307 @ihni @yourneighborhoodace

@harringrovetrashh

[the-viking-goddess]

The cheap nostalgia strikes back...

I'm pissed I'm pissed I'm pissed. Mandalorian spoilers and major crazy rant under the cut. 

So I have lived in fear of this happening literally from the beginning, of TM falling prey to the fucking black pit of nostalgia and dreading that as time went on they would slip slide into the same old shit and there would be more Jedi, more Force stuff, more deep lore, more fucking Skywalker shit. For a minute there, it seemed like my fears were misplaced. I so badly wanted to believe that it would always stay removed and uniquely creative.... and I guess fool me fucking twice. WHY did they have to do this? I was loving the episode up until the moment that fucking X wing arrived and the green saber lit up and my heart sank. I honest to god just put my head in my hand and was like 'ughhhhhhhhhhhh' for about two minutes before I could even bring myself to carry on with the episode. FUCKING WHY? I was utterly and completely heartbroken after TROS and I still am, and I have avoided anything and everything to do with the films and generally SW altogether because it's too painful. The Mandalorian was THE ONLY exception because I was already invested before TROS, and I loved it. It gave me all the warm feelings for the SW universe while being fresh and inventive and joyous, exciting and bold and really separate and independent from the films and the Skywalker saga. I loved that it touched on the edges of and skirted around things like the Force and the Jedi while remaining very removed from those things, entrenched in the world of the outer rim and really relying on the strength of its new characters and its originality. I LOVED that. It meant that, for the most part, I could still enjoy something SW without being reminded of the ST horrors (although I have spent the whole of S2 with a voice in my head reminding me that at the same moment these episodes are unfolding there is a baby Ben Solo out in the world who is already being groomed and mentally tortured and who has another 26 years or so before his life is snuffed out after endless torment and no one is going to help him).

I loved that TM could be its own thing and was wildly successful without any PT/OT characters. It didn't need them- it told its own fantastic SW story. I hoped and prayed that it would always remain independent and never slide into Skywalker territory but continue to drop in little crumbs while telling amazing, heartfelt and fun adventure stories about Din Djarin, his little green son and life in the outer rim. This should have been such a pivotal and incredible episode... and it was all about Luke Skywalker. They threw a whole season of their wonderful work away for a fucking One Screen Wonder tropey moment of 'OOhhh, who's that?? Ohhhh, X wing! Jedi robe! THE SABER! The glove! Pew pew! FORCE THINGS! The FACE REVEALL!! R2- FUCKING D2!!!!' It was so empty and hollow and ridiculous and fucking cheap, and I'm so angry and disappointed. Disney just cannot fucking let things die huh?

[dramaworlduk]

  Drama recommendations!

Part 2!!

<-Part 1

11. The Legend Of The Blue Sea

There’s history, mythology, mystery, romance, and comedy- what more could you want?! Heo Joon-jae (Lee Min-ho) is the son of a rich businessman who becomes a handsome and clever con-man after his parents' divorce. Shim Cheong (Jun Ji-hyun) is a mermaid who becomes lost and runs into him. First only sticking by her for material gain, Joon-Jae slowly realises his feelings are a little stronger than that. Their tale is juxtaposed with the parallel story of their Joseon era incarnations, town head Kim Dam-ryeong and the mermaid Se-hwa. Cheong is absolutely adorable as she learns to adapt to human life, and strikes up friendships with some of the strangest people. Joon-Jae is a scumbag with a heart and a tragic past and it is very difficult not to love them both. The added element of mystery with a murderer on the loose and Cheong’s attempt to hide her identity make for a full and intriguing story that you won’t want to take your eyes off of.

Year: 2016

Where Can I Watch?: KissAsian

Episodes: 20, 1hr length

12. Pinocchio

Choi In-Ha (Park Shin-Hye) hiccups every time she lies. Choi Dal-Po’s (Lee Jong-Suk) life was ruined by the lies the media spread about his family. He is adopted by In-Ha’s family and they grow up together, battling back their feelings for each other and the cutthroat business of reporting which they’ve both found themselves pursuing. It explores the value and falldowns of honesty and how the media can be manipulated and faked. Friends->lovers plus lovely family bonds and the importance of empathy. Very good drama, emotive and charming, 100% recommend.

Year: 2014

Where Can I Watch?: Netflix

Episodes: 20, 1hr length

13. The Heirs

This ones a really good one if you’re starting off, as it’s not too heavy or complicated. Kim Tan (Lee Min-Ho),  a wealthy heir to a large Korean conglomerate, and Cha Eun-Sang (Park Shin-Hye) meet in America when Eun-Sang goes to visit her sister. After a failed encounter, Kim Tan offers to let Eun-Sang stay with him before she goes back to Korea. Despite being engaged to Yoo Rachel (Kim Ji-won), a fellow heiress, Kim Tan soon falls in love with Eun-sang. When Eun-Sang returns to Korea, Kim Tan also returns.  Tan’s ex best friend Choi Young-Do (Kim Woo-Bin) notices Tan’s softspot for the new girl and begins to pursue her too. It explores teenage trials and tribulations in the lives of the rich and the poor, as well as pressures from the adult world. 

Year: 2013

Where Can I Watch?: Netflix

Episodes: 20, 1hr length

14. Hymn Of Death

This three-parter channels Titanic with its tragic love story and historical setting. You go into this knowing there will be heartbreak, but it still hurts so much!!  It is based on the true story of the tragic romance between Joseon's first soprano Yun Sim-deok (Shin Hye-Sun) and a genius playwright Kim Woo-jin (Lee Jong-Suk). It is heartbreaking to see the two fall for eachother knowing they cannot be together for far too many reasons. It spans a number of years and their love remains strong throughout. The quotes in this from Woo-jin’s real journals are beautiful too and add to the real life story. A must watch, if not for the story, then for Shin Hye-Sun and Lee Jong-Suk’s acting which is fantastic throughout.

Year: 2018

Where Can I Watch?: Netflix

Episodes: 3, 1hr length

15. My Love From Another Star

Alien Do Min-Jun (Kim Soo-Hyun) whose time on earth is nearly up meets Famous actress Cheong Song-Yi (Jun Ji Hyun) as she moves in next-door to him. He finds himself entangled in Song-yi's crazy and unpredictable situations, and finds out that she looks like a young girl he fell in love with in the Joseon era. Song-Yi’s best friend Lee Hee-kyung (Park Hae-jin), is in love with her, but his older brother Lee Jae-kyung (Shin Sung-rok) has a dark secret and will get rid of anyone who finds out about it or gets in his way. This drama can be very intense at times wih the threat of Jae-kyung, but Song-Yi’s sweet, comedic personality serves for some very humourous moments too.

Year: 2014

Where Can I Watch?: Netflix

Episodes: 21, 1hr length

16. W: Two Worlds

Bad boy with a heart of gold?? Comic book world??? Violence and mystery?? Adorable, loyal sidekick?? Badass doctor who can travel between worlds?? LEE JONG SUK LOOKING HOT WITH A GUN?? W has it all. The premise is new and exciting, making for unpredictable plot twists and constant need for questions to be answered. W is a fictional bestselling webtoon in South Korea centering around the dramatic life of Kang Chul (Lee Jong-suk). Authored by Oh Seong-moo (Kim Eui-sung), somewhere along the line W became a living universe. The gap between the two worlds is crossed as Seong-moo's daughter, resident cardiothoracic surgeon Oh Yeon-joo (Han Hyo-joo) gets dragged into the webtoon world and is immediatel faced with saving Kang Chul’s life. Only, Kang Chul wasn’t meant to live. If you do one thing this year it should be to WATCH W. It’ll do you good, I promise.

Year: 2016

Where Can I Watch?: Netflix

Episodes: 16, 1hr length

17. While You Were Sleeping

A girl who sees the future in her dreams, and a seemingly unconnected new neighbour are brought together through a series of events. It is legal drama crossed with fantasy as Jung Jae-Chan (Lee Jong-suk) starts a new job at the prosecutor’s office despite his clumsy, goofy personality. Jae-Chan dreams about an accident which causes much grief and loss, and decides he must try to stop it, and in doing-so his connection with Nam Hong-Joo (Bae Suzy) is strengthened and their relationship blossoms. There are some great dynamics here, not only between Jae-Chan and Hong-Joo, but also with their friend Han Woo-Tak (Jung Hae-in), who begins to dream of the future too after his life is saved, and Choi Dam-Dong (Kim Won-hae) who is a funny but sweet father figure to Jae-Chan as he teaches him the ways of life as a prosecutor. Ruthless lawyer Lee Yu-Beom (Lee Sang-yeob)’s portayal is magnetic and captivating.

Year: 2017

Where Can I Watch?: KissAsian

Episodes: 32, 30min length

18. My ID Is Gangnam Beauty

Afraid of how her peers perceive her, Kang Mi-Rae (Im Soo-hyang) undergoes plastic surgery to stop worrying about her looks before she starts university. However, after a while at university people begin to label her as a ‘Gangnam plastic surgery monster’ as her appearance is a bit too obviously altered. Mi-rae struggles with her concerns of what people think about her, which has followed her around her whole life, in a stark contrast to Do Kyung-seok (Cha Eun-Woo), who does not care what others think. The general message of body positivity isn’t without its flaws, but it brings discussions of insecurity and societal standards to the forefront. The good messaging outweighs the flaws by far and there is also a fair bit of feminism going on, just keep track of Mi-rae’s T-shirt slogans! The relationship between Kyung-seok and Mi-rae is very sweet and shy, and Kyung-seok likes her regardless of what others think. Lighthearted but with an important message.

Year: 2018

Where Can I Watch?: Netflix

Episodes: 16, 1hr length

19. She Was Pretty

Kim Hye-Jin’s (Hwang Jung-eum) childhood friend contacts her years later wishing to reconnect. However, upon meeting Ji Sung-joon (Park Seo-joon) does not recognise her, expecting her to appear like her younger self. Kim Hye-jin was a beautiful girl from a rich family, but after her family's publishing company went bankrupt, she experienced hardships then lost her beauty too. Ji Sung-joon was a shy, unattractive boy, but grows up as a handsome and successful editor. Ashamed to meet her first love and ruin his perception of her, Hye-jin asks her attractive best friend, Min Ha-ri (Go Joon-hee), to act as her once, then make up an excuse to never see Sung-joon again. Things get complicated when Hye-jin is assigned to work at The Most magazine publishing office where Sung-joon is the deputy chief editor. He openly mistreats and belittles her for her clumsy nature, not knowing that she was his real childhood friend. Kim Shin-Hyuk () is the second lead in this and his performace is fantastic. The growth between Sung-joon and Hye-jin is definitely worth watching and messages about beauty resonate well.

Year: 2015

Where Can I Watch?: Netflix

Episodes: 16, 1hr length

20. Thirty But Seventeen

Although there are a fair few emotional moments, this show is still for the most part a light, heartwarming drama with little angst and struggle. Also, there are not really ny plausible second leads to confuse the romance storyline as Yoo Chan (Ahn Hyo-Seop) is Gong Woo-Jin’s (Yang Se-Jong) 19 year old nephew, and Kim Tae-Hyun has very little screen time. I feel this makes it a lot easier to connect to the main couple, who are ADORABLE. They are both still mentally 17, after Woo Seo-Ri (Shin Hye-Sun) was in a coma for 13 years, and Woo-Jin’s PTSD from the accident keeps him stuck on repeat. After waking from her coma, Seo-Ri returns to her old house, unaware that it is now under new ownership in the form of Woo-Jin’s family. There is still a lot of tropey goodness (living together!!), but the story and interactions feel fresh and unique, and the dynamic between Seo-Ri, Woo-Jin, Yoo Chan, and Jennifer (Ye Ji-Won) is enough to keep you watching as it’s so warm and pure. Not to mention the dog Paeng/Deok Gu!! I love them all so much and it’s just the sweetest!

Year: 2018

Where Can I Watch?: KissAsian

Episodes: 32, 30min length

[norrington-hell]

Uhh ship thing again? James and Will

…oh. OH.

First off, I would like to establish that, in the world of canon, I do not ship Will and James (or Willington, if you prefer). That said…as I wrote Redemption’s Promise and built a mutual respect and admiration between them that flowed so naturally I hardly had a hand in it, I saw the potential for a multi-faceted relationship there. And while I didn’t explore a romantic edge to that facet in my fic, I would be lying if I said the idea hadn’t sparked an interest in me (and several of my readers, as they felt the need to point out lol).

All this to say that these listed dynamics are operating under the assumption that James and Will are 1) not antagonistic toward one another 2) do not have Elizabeth between them to muddy the situation 3) are both mlm (which I honestly headcanon them as anyway).

Alright, enough with the fine text. Onto the main event!

Werewolf: WillHunter: JamesAs I said with the Norribeth one of these, James is already a pirate hunter by trade. That translates really well. But I see Will as being a nonviolent Werewolf. One who’s just trying to get by, maybe even trying to find a cure. I imagine him ‘outing’ himself by jumping between James and an enemy werewolf and transforming to fight. After that, James has to struggle with the fact that he can no longer believe all lycanthropes are evil. Something something crime-fighting duo. Something something overcoming biases. Something something James should not be turned on by this. >:D

Mermaid: JamesFisherman: WillI had to think about this one a bit, and I’m still not super jiving with the results. I suppose I just don’t feel this dynamic really suits them.

Witch: ElizabethFamiliar: James and Will and JackOkay I lied. This one definitely brings Elizabeth into play. She’s a witch with three familiars: James (a hawk), Will (a wolf), and Jack (a black cat). Maybe they’re all former lovers she’s cursed into doing her bidding. OOoooh I like that. Jack gets up to all sorts of clownery, leaving James and Will to fix things. Hijinks ensue.

Barista: WillCoffee Addict: JamesJames prefers his coffee black, not especially fond of all the bells and whistles people tend to throw into the mix these days. But a simple black drip means he’s out the door in less than two minutes, and, for reasons he hasn’t taken the time to parse out, he’s keen to spend just a few more than that waiting by the counter.It could be the pleasant smell of freshly ground beans in the air. It could be the cozy, laid-back atmosphere of the establishment and how it gives him a break from his fast-paced life. It could be he simply likes the unique roast of the espresso. It could be many things.But, while they may add to the draw of the place, James knows the truth of the matter, even as he wraps himself in a cloak of denial.A soft, sincere smile. Warm russet eyes. The way the barista instantly memorized his on-the-spot, conjured, confection of a drink.‘See you tomorrow, James.’He pretends not to notice how their fingers brush as he takes the paper cup, which he would usually pawn off on a coworker before using the communal office Keurig. But the scrawled seven-digit number beneath his thumb makes that an impossibility today. This one is his.‘I wouldn’t miss it.’

Professor: JamesTA: WillAnd my reasoning is much the same as my Norribeth version. An 8 year age gap. Probably some sort of history class. Likely Age of Sail. James builds model ships as a hobby. Will would probably find that enchanting. 

Knight: JamesPrince: WillJames is a protector by nature. It just seems to suit him. And Orlando Bloom played a prince in a different trilogy, sooo…there you go.Oh god…Will is promised to a princess from another kingdom, but his heart truly lies with his oldest friend and staunchest protector. But duty and station mean everything to James. How could he ask him to turn his back on that?…I like this au too much. Too much to continue to play in this space. I can’t afford to get attached.

Teacher: WillSingle Parent: JamesPapa!James is very near and dear to my heart. No idea who the mother is, but the story would be a tropey mess, that’s for damn sure. Will sees his student dropped off every day by her doting, if serious, father. Who is very handsome. And very single. He would arrange a meet up outside of school. Try to teach James to open up and have fun. Eventually, try to teach him how to love again.GOD I HATE HOW MUCH I’M ENJOYING THIS.

Writer: JamesEditor: WillJames writes aggressively researched true crime novels and has been doing so for the better part of a decade. His life is ritual and routine, which he very seldom deviates from. Then his editor retires, and a new, young, fresh-faced replacement arrives. At first, James is upset, annoyed. Why, he’s no more than a boy! But, Will proves to be meticulous, cunning, and just the right amount of tenacious to be an optimal fit, not just as an editor and fellow researcher, but as so much more.

Okay. So. I guess my muse was really spoiling for some Willington. I didn’t write nearly this much for the version of this that was about my OTP! Oh well. I hope y’all enjoyed my pithy ramblings.

I tag @literarytrashpanda. You know what you did.

[kkruml]

STAY Chapter 2

@smoakingwaffles and @missclairebelle you two are just golden and I owe you more than you know.

This story started with a prompt from @balfeheughlywed asking for tropey goodness (fun fact- that was the actual working title of the story.. I hope it lives up to the name at some point lol)

Enjoy all, and Happy Friday!

Chapter 1

AO3 

Previously

She took a deep breath before looking up at him, a slight blush to her chees as she smiled. “Can I see your phone… just for a moment?”

His eyebrows creased in confusion, but he passed it to her without hesitation. She took it and he watched as her thumbs danced across the screen. She passed it back to him, the smile traveling across her mouth and it lit the golden hue of her eyes.

“It was nice meeting you, Jamie.” She turned without another look.

He watched her form as it disappeared around the corner and he let out a long-held breath. He looked at his phone- the screen still on “add contact.” He scrolled to “C”- finding no new entries and his smile faded. He blinked, looking back at the direction she had turned, and then back towards his phone. His thumb traveled through the alphabet to “S” and he smiled.

Sassenach.

He took a deep breath before reaching for the door, shaking his head slightly.

We are both in trouble, lass.

Claire

Well that was… unexpected.

A fun, alcohol-filled night out with Geillis was never boring, but she was not prepared for… that.

Claire closed her eyes and let her mind wander back to the night before.

The sound of his voice lingered in her ears-the soft lilt that grew stronger as he fumbled over his words. The memory made her giggle; he wasn’t the debonair ladies’ man she had imagined him to be. She saw that table of girls, and the way they looked at him. She wasn’t naïve enough to imagine he had not dated one of them… or perhaps more than one. But outside, with her, in the stillness of the spring night- he was different, unprotected, and vulnerable.

The sound of her phone buzzing snapped her from her daze. She shook her head in an effort to clear it; she was embarrassed for just how much time she had spent replaying the night before in her head.

She looked down, expecting to see Geillis’s name- undoubtedly to tell of her conquest. She saw how he had eyed Geillis; she knew her friend. They undoubtedly had left together. She scoffed at herself, thinking back to what she thought was bravery entering her number in his mobile. It wasn’t brave, it was stupid.

She was right, it was Geillis. Her finger swiped the screen as the message popped into view.

Well last night was a bust. Red headed Viking doesn’t know what he missed.

Geillis was rarely denied by anyone- if she set her eyes on someone, they were as good as hers. What had happened last night? She tapped the keys in response.

Must have gone home with the blonde, sorry lady- maybe they do have more fun? ;)

She had just enough time to glance down at the chart and read the last sentence of her notations before her phone pinged again.

No lass- he left ALONE. Dinna give ANYONE a chance at him.

He went home… alone?

He must have had something to do this morning, or there was no one he fancied at the bar, or… someone was already waiting for him at home.

Her brain swirled with a thousand possibilities to explain it. But still, she couldn’t help but hear her breathing hitch and she felt a tinge of hope flutter in the back of her mind. It was impossible, to be sure. They had only shared a few quiet moments together; he could not possibly have been interested in her. She was not his type.

Her phone buzzed again but this time she looked down at it in annoyance. Okay Geillis, I get it. Enough.

Her brows creased as an unknown number flashed across the screen.

Hope ye dinna get lost on the way home last night, Sassenach.

She stared at the text. A deep rush of heat filled her cheeks and her heart pounded in her chest.

He went home alone.

He just texted me.

But... WHY?

Her fingers shook slightly as they hovered over the keyboard- waiting. What should I say?

She thought for a moment, smiled, and let her finger swipe across the screen.

JAMIE

He held his breath, waiting.

Last night he had counted the moments until his set was done, packed his guitar in one swift motion, and exited out the back door. Sleep had come quickly; his last thoughts were of whisky amber eyes and a smile that warmed him to his backbone. He woke up this morning more clear-eyed than he had in a while.

And his bed? It was empty.

No pang of regret, no awkward shuffle out the door after an awkward goodbye. He stretched his limbs to the four corners of the mattress, testing out the expanse of space without some unknown face next to him. It was an odd feeling- and for some reason it was not all that unpleasant.

He rotated his phone in his hand, fingers fidgeting with the case as he waited. She’s just one lass, why do I care so much?

He nearly dropped his phone as it buzzed in his hand.

Was that a dig to my sensibilities or the fact that I’m a… what was that word? ‘Outlander’?

So she was a witty one, too.

He chuckled at her response, shifting his position in bed slightly as he considered his reply.  He smiled as his fingers tapped the screen.

I see ye havena lost yer Gaelic since I last saw ye.

He wondered what other words she would know. He smiled as a list of words he wanted to teach her formed in his mind.

I can feel your concern from here, it’s quite charming.

Another quiet laugh, his eyes focused on each word of her text.

Aye, it was either that or ask if my singin’ scared ye off.

He didn’t know this woman, yet he felt a connection to her- a closeness he hadn’t felt with anyone in… a long time.

She was practically a stranger, and yet at the same time, so familiar. He chewed on his bottom lip, waiting.

He saw the text before his phone even made a sound.

Close, but not quite ;)

A wink. That was a good sign. He felt a bit braver.

Might need ye to give me some singin’ tips then.

Three bubble populated, and he waited.

Bars aren’t usually my scene- they let anyone on stage these days.

That wasn’t a NO. He tapped one finger against his leg as he considered his options. Time to ask. Keep it simple- nothing serious.

Perhaps over coffee, then?

Three bubbles populated on his screen almost instantaneously- and then disappeared, and he felt his stomach drop. This was supposed to be casual, why am I so nervous?

He needed to know more about this Sassenach. He wasn’t satisfied with one night, just a few fleeting moments with her. His phone vibrated again, interrupting his thoughts, and his eyes darted to the screen.

Not much of a coffee fan...

His smile faded as his heart sank. Did she just turn him down? Another ping sent his heart into overdrive.

  …How about tea?

His smile returned in full force, spreading wide across his lips. He rested his head back against the pillow, allowing for a deep intake of air. He wasn’t used to putting in effort to get a date, but it wasn’t just that- it was her. She was different.  He allowed himself one more moment of exhilaration, coupled with relief, before responding- his smile still firmly fixed on his face.

CLAIRE

She checked her phone again- 2:15pm. He was late.

Was I being stood up? Was he playing me for a fool? Damn you Jamie.

She shook her head as a series of four-letter words rattled in her mind. They had agreed on her favorite café around the corner from the hospital. He had asked to meet that day but she had the sterile smell of the hospital in her hair and the fatigue of a long shift aching in her bones, so they agreed on two o’clock the following day.

Her tea had cooled and she stared at the remaining liquid in her mug. She was considering abandoning the remnants just as the door kicked open and she felt a gust of air hit her back, a few stray curls fluttering around her face. Before she could blink, a large figure rushed by her and took up residence in the chair facing her.  

“I’m late, I ken.” He was breathing deeply, trying to catch his breath.

“Yes, you are.” Her tone was flat and she moved to push her seat from the table.

“Please, dinna leave-”His eyes widened as he raised one hand in gesture to stop her. He stuttered, his words coming fast, “I’m sorry, Claire.”

She paused, frozen by his words and the sound of her name off his tongue.  She watched him for a moment, seeing his chest rise and fall; she could hear his breath as it shook, as well as his attempt to steady it. She shifted back into her seat but kept her eyes trained on him, eyebrows raised as she waited for an explanation.

“I’m sae sorry, I… to say that is… I was ju-“his accent was thick again as he tried to speak. His mouth opened and closed more than once before he shook his head as he ran one large hand through his auburn curls. “Christ… I dinna ken what it is, but ye seem to… knock me off kilter.”

She fought to keep a straight face but failed, letting an earnest laugh erupt from her chest.

“Are ye laughin’ at me?” His voice was a mix of exasperation and curiosity as he cocked his head to the side.

Between breaths she nodded with a smile, “Yes I believe… I am.”

He met her gaze, laughing softly with her as well. He faltered slightly as she brushed a stray curl from her face. He cleared his throat, his eyes glancing at her mug. “Can I buy ye another cup of tea?”

She eyed him for a moment, seeing the faint glimmer of sweat on his forehead and twitch of his fingers against the table. A slight smile pulled at her lips as she nodded, “Oolong, please.”

His shoulders visibly relaxed and he let out a small sigh. He returned the smile as he stood up and headed towards the counter. Her eyes lingered on his form and she watched the barista’s reaction to him. She smiled to herself, letting herself feel a pride in being here with him.

He returned quickly, a fresh mug held out for her and a cup of coffee in his other hand. She reached for her tea and their fingers touched; she felt a warm current course through her, and she wasn’t sure if it was the heat from the mug or the touch of his fingertip. If he had felt it, he didn’t let on as he settled into his seat across from her, taking a long sip before he spoke.

“So, how long have ye been in town?”

“Just a few weeks. I transferred to the surgical program.” She grew quiet, eyes focused on a droplet of tea running down the side of her mug. “Seemed like a good time for a change.”

She felt his eyes on her as she took another sip, feeling the warmth of the tea trickle down her throat.

“How about you?” she asked, shifting the focus and trying for a lighter topic. “You’re from the Highlands, right?”

“Oh aye- a Highlander, born and raised. Havena lived in Edinburgh too long myself.” His finger traced the rim of his mug.

Their conversation flowed easily, but he was particular in steering clear of anything too personal, no mention of a partner or other ties. She didn’t ask, but she wondered just what he was deflecting- and why.

She spoke about the hospital and her work- the excitement of surgery paired with the exhaustion of late nights and long shifts. He listened attentively, waiting for a pause or for her to sip her tea before asking a question.  

“… and finally Geillis told me we were going out to get plastered, and that’s how we ended up at the pub that night.” She shook her head remembering that night, and she paused at the memory of his eyes meeting hers for the first time. She sipped the last of her tea and carefully placed the mug back down on the table.

His voice was quiet but he spoke with conviction as he kept his eyes hooded, “Remind me some day to thank her, aye?”

He eyed her mug, tilting his own to see it empty. He glanced up just long enough to see her eyeing him and he smiled.

“I don’t do this often,” his voice was steady but she thought she caught a hint of wonder.

She winked as she smiled and asked, “What’s that- drink coffee?”

“No.” A faint smile formed but shook his head, “Go on dates.”

“Oh, you think this was a date?” Her voice was teasing but she felt her heart beat against her rib cage as she enjoyed the illusion of thinking it was. She sat back and waited, expecting a flirty response or even a new Gaelic word she would need to learn. He raised one eyebrow as she felt her breath pause.

“I was just hoping.” He said simply, looking at her with an openness that caught her off guard.

She stared at him for a moment, unsure of how to respond. Each time she expected a cocky attitude, he disarmed her with vulnerability. “… And if it was?”

He smiled, “Just wait and see what I have in store for date number two.”

He tried, and failed at a wink and she laughed again, feeling her heart flutter as his blue eyes pierced through her.

[roxannarambles]

This is a story about spoilers and betrayal. I'd like to discuss the deeper nature of spoilers, as both a positive and a negative force and how they've played out in my experience of the Fire Emblem series. Your obligatory spoiler warning, of course: behind the cut I discuss major plot points of Fire Emblem Birthright and two of the GBA games, Blazing Blade and Binding Blade.

Let’s Plays and First Experiences

I was introduced to the Fire Emblem series a number of years ago when one of my favorite pokemon Youtubers did a Let's Play series of Blazing Blade. I'm an individual who plays very, very few games, although I watch plenty of Let's Plays just for entertainment value. I was intrigued by the Fire Emblem series and thoroughally enjoyed the Let's Play series, loving the colorful story, rich characters, and strategy-focused gameplay. At the time, it didn't occur to me to play it myself. Like all the other Let's Plays, I simply enjoyed watching it and then moved on.

Something about Fire Emblem stuck with me, though. The YouTuber did several more Let's Play series based on Fire Emblem games, and I really enjoyed those, too. I started warming up to them to such a degree that I felt the urge to do something I almost never did-- actually try playing one of the games myself.

Already very familiar with Pokemon ROMs, it didn't take me too long to actually locate a copy of FE7 and give it a go. I was incredibly uncertain at first while playing, intimidated and convinced it would be too difficult for me to get the hang of. Picking it up was actually very easy, though, and it rapidly became an addictive and deeply absorbing game for me.

Because it had been quite some time since I'd watched the initial Let's Play of FE7, many of the story details had, at that point, faded. Therefore I came at it fairly fresh, and much of the story was exciting and 'new'-- or a 'oh yeah I totally forgot about that until it happened again just now!' sort of situation, which is fairly close to experiencing it new firsthand. There was enough familiarity-- oh yes I remember Kent, I always liked him-- that it was nice to see familiar faces, but enough time had passed that it felt like a fresh new adventure again; plus, this time, I was in charge. It really allowed me to experience it as my own thing.

Some plot details, of course, I hadn't completely forgotten about. Those major plot twists/reveals/very dramatic events are going to probably stick with you forever, and no amount of time will make them fade. So yes, I remembered Ninian and her brother were dragons; I knew at some point in the story, Eliwood accidentelly killed Ninian in dragon form. I also had a vague memory of the final showdown with Nergal, although many of those details had faded. Interestingly, the detail that Ninian was miraculusously saved from death had also faded from my mind. It helped that it really had been a few years since I watched the Let's Play before I tried playing the game on my own. In the end, it made for a very enjoyable experience. Yes, some major details were not a surprise to me, but I didn't mind that in the least. It didn't stop me from absolutely falling in love with the game and playing it several more times over.

Eventually, I decided I wanted to try some more games from the Fire Emblem franchise. The second game I played through was Binding Blade. Overall, I found the gameplay and the increased challenge of Binding Blade (when compared to FE7) to be very enjoyable and satisfying (with a couple REALLY frustrating exceptions, namely a few maps with freaking Bezerk staffs all over the place), although I found the characters and story to be a little lacking when compared to FE7. The writing just wasn't as top-notch and I didn't fall as deeply in love with the cast of characters. Of course, some of that could be attributed to the fact Binding Blade was a fan translation. It was an excellent translation, but even the best fan translation probably doesn't compare to the professional localizations. Even with that consideration, though, I suspect FE7 is just stronger in terms of story and characters. I'm hard pressed to point out ANY character from FE7 that I don't like or can't find some sort of interesting thing about them, and the game is just brimming with richness and depth in storytelling. Still, FE6 had been well worth playing.

Something made me stop right on the final chapter of Binding Blade, however. And I'll get back to that later and explain why.

Modern Fire Emblem

After completing Binding Blade 99%, I felt like it was time to try out one of the more modern games. As I mentioned previously, I've never been a huge video game person, but I did own a 2DS-- mainly to play Pokemon on. Although I was very attached to the GBA Fire Emblem games and loved the art style and feel of that era of games, I was also intrigued by the idea of trying one of the more modern games. The new art styles, the new system, the new mechanics and all of that would take some getting used to, and lacked the charm of the GBA, but still, I thought it was worth looking into. Why was that? Because once again, I had seen some Let's Plays, done by that some YouTuber. In particular, the series had been on Awakening. I had really deeply enjoyed the characters and story from that series, and it seemed like it recapured a lot of what was special about Fire Emblem. There was its share of problems, sure-- I wasn't blind to the gross fan-pandering "waifu" phenomenon and its objectification of a lot of female characters-- but overall it seemed like an excellent game, and really, you're going to find flaws in any game. The Let's Play series convinced me that the newer, modern games were worth trying out.

There was a problem, though. The Awakening Let's Play was still fresh in my memory. It hadn't been several months or a year since I'd seen it; I'd only watched the last of it a week prior or so. I wanted to wait before buying Awakening to play for myself, wait long enough for some of those memories to fade. My solution was to buy a different game in the meantime, but still one of the newer ones. After some research and deliberation I chose FE Fates: Birthright.

Birthright

'What fun,' I thought to myself, 'The first Fire Emblem game I'll be playing completely blind! Not even the slightest vague memories of Let's Plays about it!' I read enough about Fates to know it branched paths as 3 different games depending on which kingdom you sided with, but I really did know little more than that. It seemed like a great opportunity to go in 100% spoiler-free. So many great surprises awaited!

Once I started playing, I found Fates was . . . definitely not as good as Awakening. The story just did not appeal to me as strongly, and many of the characters failed to appeal to me, either. They seemed more tropey than usual (and yes, I admit FE characters always are tropey to some degree, but they felt even more so), the ideas more bland or worn-out, and the game seemed to suffer from the problem of even more gross objectification of women than Awakening. The cutscenes with the character models (as opposed to the full-fledged cinematic cutscenes) were awkward at times and hard to take seriously. (When the Avatar falls into the bottomless pit of doom or whatever, their wooden figure falling stiffly just looks utterly ridiculous and makes what's supposed to be a tense, dramatic thing and unfortunately makes it purely moronic. Not their fault, just the limitations of the technology right now.)

So, yeah, all in all, Fates seemed OK, but not the best. I wasn't really digging a lot of the plot and characters, and the maps were often a little on the bland side, but it was alright. I took solace in the parts that I actually did enjoy. A few of the characters were pretty neat. I liked Subaki, and I liked Kaze, and I liked Silas. Jakob seemed pretty cool, too, and I liked Hinata and Hinoka. I was enjoying the MyCastle stuff, even though it's a bit silly. Capturing units in a jail to recruit was intriuging, and forging weapons was fun. I liked inviting allies over to my house, and I was enjoying the support conversations. I was also enjoying learning the new support mechanics that were so new to me. I was slowly but surely grinding Moku up to a decent level and I was just starting to Master Seal some of my units and think about my choices for promotions.

It was going pretty decently! I had A-support with Subaki, and was ready for S-support, but I decided I wanted to get up to A-rank with Kaze and Silas first before making the final choice. And then I went off to play chapter 15.

No, I didn't know I was about to get screwed over by the game. The plot killed off Kaze because I wasn't currently A-rank with him; when the chapter ended I hit the 'save' without even thinking about it. Just ingrained habit. Besides, surely if the game killed him off as a plot point, it couldn't have possibly been prevented, right? So there was no need to avoid saving the game anyway, right?

Nope. Because I failed to fulfill an arbitrary requirement that the game didn't inform me about, I was now locked out of the 'good' ending for Kaze. If I wanted to continue with the game with my unit (which I dumped a lot of resources and time into, by the way) and get his good ending, I would have to start the game completely over.

This is just bad game design. I'm not even about to argue that a unit should never be killed off by a plot point instead of during battle. Sure, it would be very annoying and upsetting to have a unit you spent a lot of time investing in to be killed off no matter what you do, but at least there would be a purpose to that: to serve as a surprise, to demonstrate death cannot be avoided sometimes even when you replay a chapter, to be a poignant and meaingful plot point in the overall story arc. Kaze's death was none of those things. The scene was awkwardly shoved in there, completely void of any emotional impact, and entirely meaningless. (Basically, rocks fall, Kaze dies.) But, worst of all, it could have been avoided if you had simply been "in the know" about a very easy secret requirement to fulfill (a-level support). One stupid little thing like that, sullying my entire run.

I mentioned I stopped playing Binding Blade when I was 99% complete. And the reason why is largely the same kind of situation. In the GBA games there are these Gaiden Chapters that can be unlocked. Often the requirements for unlocking them are pretty secret and arbitrary. You have to either stumble across them or look at a Wiki. The idea of these easter egg chapters is to increase the replay value of the game and have extra added bonuses, and that's fine. Nothing wrong with that idea. I ended up playing most of the Gaiden chapters in Binding Blade just for fun. I knew they existed from the Let's Play I had watched, so I made sure to look up in a wiki how to unlock them.

I did not know, however, you needed to complete 100% of the Gaiden chapters to unlock the full, true ending of the game.

Now, something like that isn't as bad as what Birthright did. I would argue the the "full, true ending" was supposed to be more like "bonus content" to reward players with more stuff if they want to replay. But not knowing about the secret, arbitrary requirements ahead of time and thus playing through the entire game only to be locked out of several of the final chapters? It left a bitter taste in my mouth, enough that the desire to even finish the last chapter of my current run just was killed. To this day I still don't know how Binding Blade actually ends. I always meant to return to it eventually-- I just didn't feel like replaying the ENTIRE game again anytime soon to get the true ending.

Well, after Kaze died and I was locked out of using him ever again, I'm pretty much in the same boat now. It leaves a very, very bitter taste in your mouth. As much as I'd been enjoying playing, it pretty much kills all desire to continue with the game. If Kaze was destined to always die due to plot reasons, I would have been completely fine with continuing onward. But the fact that one small mistake due to not knowing a secret requirement means he's gone? That's beyond absurd.

I honestly don't know what to do now. I would love for my desire to play the game to return to me, but I really don't think it will at this point. I certainly don't want to continue with the bad ending, but I don't want to spend the enormous chunk of time and effort to get all the way back to the middle of the game again. It's a massive shame. And, quite frankly, even if I did continue, how could I trust the game at this point to not screw me over again in a similar manner with more secret requirements?

Playing a game blind means you, as a player, are giving a certain amount of trust in the game to give you a satisfying experience. That's not to say you don't thrust surprises upon the player. Of course there should be surprises. A good story has surprises and heartbreaks. But to break the basic rules of the game itself and say, "Oh yeah, you get the bad ending, and it's your fault, because you didn't do this thing I didn't tell you that you needed to do" is just assholery. You are betraying the trust of your players. And that's not necessarily something that can be quickly regained once it's lost.

Conclusion

So that's my tale of spoilers and betrayal. Spoilers can be such a double-edged sword. It was because of Let's Plays that I discovered Fire Emblem to begin with and sought it out to play on my own, so obviously some spoilers are not bad. Often spoilers can completely rob a story of its emotional impact, though. We know this. So we try to minimize them.

But spoilers could also have prevented the bullshit I ran into that trashed my run of Birthright. So, it's tough. I guess a good policy might be "no spoilers, except for extremely bullshit DICK MOVES that the game is going to try and pull on you." I don't know.

In any rate, if anyone actually read even a part of this post, I would really love to hear your opinions and thoughts on the issue. Did you also have Kaze die in your run/save over it? How did you react when you learned it could have been prevented? Is Fates too shitty of a game to bother playing anyway? (lol) I admit part of why I am so salty is because I dislike so MANY of the units in this game, so when I'm locked out of even using one of the ones I happened to like, it certainly didn't do me any favors.

Or do you think I'm being a dramatic asshat? Whatever your thoughts, I wouldn't mind hearing. In any case, thanks for reading!