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puss-in-boots-bf · 1 year ago

Text

answering all of these because im so "normal" about him

(puss in boots f/o btw)

right now i have the build a bear plushie so as long as i have that i feel like i'm with him

i heard people talking about the last wish like a month after release and i thought "hm maybe i should check this out" and it was downhill from there. BEAUTIFUL movie btw top tier cinema puss in boots 1 was not as good unfortunately 💔 still more puss content i can't be mad. i liked him in the shrek movies too but he has less screentime

ok firstly the accent i CANT get over it its so sdsfksdfklkjkjfdsg................second probably his face. his stupid little cute face i want to look at all day

puss cannot get over how lovey dovey i am with him and he tries to hide it but i know the truth. he's not even good at hiding it i see you covering your face with your hat everyone knows

idk why 1-4 repeat after the cut but more questions for me yayayayya

1. i love him so much i just squeeze the life out of him every time i see him. bear hug him forever and ever. puss on the other hand much more acts of service and he'll give me a lil peck on the cheek or the forehead sometimes

2. i'd LOVE to give him just like a tiny good luck charm he can put on his belt so he has something to remember me by if he's ever out without me. puss would give me a souvenir every time i couldn't come with on an adventure

3. we celebrate all the major holidays and just have fun hanging out with each other. we always have matching halloween costumes and on christmas puss likes doing the thing with mistletoe where he holds it above us if we're close and is like "we're under the mistletoe you know what that means" and honestly? not complaining. if anything please continue

4. he's a cat!! he purrs whenever he's asleep and it gets me to bed so quickly... and then he always waits for me to wake up after him in the morning (i am not a morning person. he is and he has to wait like a couple hours cus he doesn't wanna wake me up early 😭😭)

5. i am a math wiz, puss doesn't know what 2+2 is. unfortunately to make up for this i have like no adventuring experience and i wanna go with him so bad :( but puss tries his best to train me so that one day we can conquer the world together!

6. we're basically opposites in fashion taste, puss loves his hat and boots and not saying i don't love it too but i don't like the concept of me wearing it 😅the one thing we agree on is that capes (cloaks in my case) look sick as hell. food wise puss will eat anything i am extremely picky and anytime i don't like a food he will go all "what how could you not like [food]?!??!" every time without fail

7. puss has always been the more talkative one and it shows. whenever puss is feeling down i just let him talk at me and if i'm ever feeling down he asks me so many questions about what happened it's almost overwhelming. what we share in common is that we both LOVE hugs and will just hug it out all the time

8. i don't really have a rival f/o... i guess maybe death? but puss kinda made up with him already and it's not like death is going to be here any time soon

9. i actually really like how he is in canon 😭 i love him the way he is i wouldn't change a thing about him (well excluding one headcanon which is...)

10. puss being bisexual is so real and so funny to me. who cares if you're a man or woman if you're hot i'm flirting with you

11. it's amazing but i might be biased since puss is here... puss usually does all the cooking because i'm so picky i just don't know food. i do most of the cleaning cus he does so much for me and i'll try to stop him from helping me if he ever offers cus i don't want him doing even more... in the downtime between us doing anything we'll usually just sit down and cuddle with each other ❤️fortunately he doesn't have a "job" to go to, since he's a hero the city lets him live here for basically free. puss gets enough money from just appearing in public to afford everything we need for months. though he will go on the occasional adventure every couple weeks

12. dirt. its literally just dirt and nothing else. he keeps going on adventures and getting dirty and he'll come home just covered in dirt. but if there's ever an important occasion he has a cologne he picked out with me that smells like cinnamon

13. he hasn't actually changed much since the events of the last wish! still does all the good ol showoffy stuff whenever he's in public, you really can only tell he changed whenever it gets real dangerous.

14. puss is extremely extroverted and outgoing and i am very much not. he keeps trying to take me on outings and tries to get me to be a little more vocal and it's kinda working!! baby steps! but something we both have in common is that we're both unorganized (though him more than me)... we always try to sort everything out at the house but neither of us can bother 😭 we're used to it though so it's a non-issue

15. puss gets really heated but can usually calm himself, i am not good with conflict at ALL but puss tries to help me calm down too. it works, i mean how can i be mad with this lovely cat in front of me?? though on the rare occasion i'm really passionate about something i will not back down and puss eventually either gives in or tries the cute eyes thing... it usually works...... i mean, how am i supposed to resist that????

16. puss introduced me to imelda (his caretaker at the orphanage he grew up) and she was lovely! she even showed me cute pictures of puss back when he was a baby 🤭 aside from that i've met team friendship too! perrito was nice and kitty joked around with puss about us a lot

17. ok lore speedrun i only knew puss through folktales/legends etc. and i heard about a party he was supposed to be throwing nearby that was really soon. i decided to go and i was OBSESSED. i knew he was cool, but somehow he managed to be even cooler than i thought. this is probably where the crush started but i didn't recognize it at the time. i would've gone to every party he threw in the country but i knew he came to this town pretty often, so i just went to the ones here. after a while i managed to get close to him and ask him if i might be able to go on an adventure with him. it was all i wanted at the time, even if it was a mini adventure or something. at first he said he couldn't or his schedule was full or whatever, but i was so desperate i kept asking and asking... and somehow it worked. he told me maybe, but he'd need more time to figure something out. a couple days later i got a letter saying that he decided i could go with him on one small thing he had planned that wouldn't take too much time, and i was ecstatic to say the least. however it mentioned i would need some training first and gave me a spot to meet up. i got a whole get up and a weapon so i would be prepared for the training and after we stopped, puss said it would be easier if i stayed in town for a while so we could get training earlier. a couple days of training later i finally confessed, and after the mini adventure i was supposed to leave but he caught feelings too... we've been dating ever since :)

18. my favorite will always be the shrek canon/last wish canon timeline but i still love taopib puss. f/o wise i treat them differently but comfort character wise it's still puss and he's still silly ❤️ i also really like puss dos from taopib. not in a f/o way but he's so autism you can't hate him (ignore that puss dos isn't actually puss he's a genetic clone technically but IT STILL COUNTS!!!)

19. coolness factor alone the blind king (taopib spoilers if it matters) takes the cake. the blindfold is just mwah chefs kiss but i think i just really like blindfolds for some reason. original puss is still the best one though i wouldn't want a blindfold covering those glittering green eyes of his

20. i confessed first but only because i thought he did 😭 he was being playful flirty like when you don't really mean it but i didn't pick up on that and it just came pouring out... nothing really happened for a little while until one day we made eye contact and went silent. i think he got feelings for me, or he realized the feelings he already had, or something, but i could tell something changed. we just... kissed. it wasn't a lot, just for a second, but... it felt like the world had stopped. nothing mattered except the two of us right there, right then. and it felt perfect.

21. i think his feelings were more spur of the moment rather than long lasting, so no one really knew

22. skip cus hes my only f/o 😶

23. i love fluff i cannot get enough of fluff i will never stop imagining him kissing me on the forehead saying i love you right before he leaves the house leaving me awestruck in his beauty. sucker for hurt/comfort too but mostly the comfort part i don't like thinking about the hurt part

24. who hasn't? but also not this early on i'd have to wait a couple years minimum before i consider it

25. skipping cus i can plan that later

26. as i said before it's a big house, renaissance era (since the last wish is in the 17th century), puss lived here before me so most of the decor is whatever he chose. most of it is just trophies and awards he's earned though... but he does have a cat tower there too! it's comfy can't blame him

27. not really. never been much of a kid person myself, and puss already has perrito, so neither of us are interested.

28. it was a day or two after his "confession." the morning after i was just... dumbfounded by what happened before, but puss took a bit off to collect his thoughts. after we reconvened to talk about what we were i told him i loved him no matter what. i think it flustered him and he got all stammery but he managed an i love you too. i could tell the idea of a relationship was kinda rough for him, it was for me as well, but he warmed up to it after a little.

29. it would be so extraordinarily funny if he was 100% gay. 100% man liker. but still a lady killer. like all the girls are fawning over this man and he's just "oh sorry i'm not into women." bi puss is canon but gay puss is dream cone true

30. if somehow cuddling isn't enough he'll tell stories about adventures he's had. let me tell you god DAMN is he a great storyteller!! it always gets me hyped up without fail + i get to hear more of his voice what's to complain about

31. you cant make me do this. you cant make me choose i cant. why would you do this to me

32. thank god this one has an answer, his voice. it's something otherworldly, i just can't describe it. everytime i hear him speak it's so calming, soothing, oh my goooood i just love it so much i could listen to him forever

33. i had to look through tv tropes for this. puss is the energetic one except whenever i get really excited about something and puss has to listen to me ramble for an hour about it because i refuse to shut up

34. "uhh, erm... i dunno! i never counted. i am not really a math guy, y'know?" if you count literally any shrek film i'm lying but pretend i'm not

35. me and it's not even close. i WILL zone out and blush and smile every single time i think of his face and i'm not ashamed to say it

36. see above i still get surprised whenever he hugs me from behind. you know what you're doing stop (don't stop i love it)

37. puss does this everyday and thinks it's actually kinda underwhelming meanwhile i am curled up fetal position on the floor

38. we don't really use nicknames, actually. well sometimes i'll call him "stabby tabby" or one of his other aliases, sometimes he'll call me "mi amor" but most of the time we just use names

39. my contact name for him would just be "puss❤️" his contact name for me is probably like. Firstname Lastname he is not good with technology at all

40. again this man could not operate a phone if the instructions were printed out and given to him. he only uses it for texting and calling. every once in a while he'll send me a picture of something he found cool and text "Look" "Do you like it"

41. my favorite memory is probably just discovering him. the sheer joy of finding something to love, something to be unabashedly excited about... i wish i could do it all again

42. he wasn't particularly physically affectionate before but he knows i love it when he is so he tries his best to show it whenever he can

43. i have walked in on him doing catnip before and i know that was not at all embarrassing for him because he literally asked me if i wanted any

44. puss keeps trying to have an "honorable duel" with people and they literally never accept

45. my first impressions were that he was sick af and just the best person ever. his first impressions of me, he probably gets a bunch of fans like that i'd honestly understand if he was just taking pity on me with the adventure stuff😭

46. no lore reason for it but i like the idea of my birthday since it's close enough to when i discovered pib and i think just being with him is the best gift i could ever receive

47. i would like to speak to my lawyer

48. nothing really. i guess sometimes we'll go out and he's more focused on me than he usually is on whatever's going on around him but i think that's it

49. he still flinches every time he hears a whistle :((((

50. just a tiny lil "i love you" and a kiss everyday ❤️❤️

51. skip cus 43 repeat

52. he probably laughs at dad jokes honestly. probably thinks "why did the chicken cross the road" is a knee slapper

53. sometimes i tease him with the pickles thing i find it funny but he doesnt 💔

54. puss is a deep sleeper so if i ever need to wake him up i'll shake him a bit until he gets up. he is much more gentle with me though since i'm more of a light sleeper so i'll usually wake up if he just rocks me for a second or two

55. on the weekdays we train together (it's more like him teaching me but yk) cus i'm trying to go on more adventures but puss says i'm not strong enough 😭

56. perrito thinks we're cute and ok honestly? i don't know how kitty would react at all i'm still trying to figure out how she would fit in with the ship lore since if me and puss are together her arc is weird in the last wish, especially with the whole wedding thing/the ending

57. skip cus he's my only f/o again

58. doing dream merch since dream experience is literally just "what if he was real" anyways ideally i mean. puss in boots everything. but also there's a few things i want specifically: licensed/official cosplay (hat, cape, boots, belt, whatever), actual functional rapier with the puss in boots design + gatito blade, and not very realistic with this last one but i want a version of the build a bear plush that will actually just never break down or fall apart. also with an easier way to keep the hat on!! the hat can't attach to anything so it has to rest on his ear but it falls off super easy cus of that

59. gahhhhhh i dont like talking about it too much cus it makes me sad to think about it at all........... but i'll say he's a lot quieter. he goes from this extremely outgoing cat we all know and love to just... silence. maybe some muttering... AAAAAAAAAAHHH OK i cant talk about this anymore i dont want to think about it ever :(((((((((((((

60. silly*6

61. 😼⚔️ that's it. that's the emojis

62. assuming i get to be my s/i if i go there i'd absolutely go to his world in a heartbeat. if he came here i would definitely be under government supervision he's a walking talking cat

63. i like ship lore but it isn't too fleshed out since irl i haven't really known about selfshipping before a few weeks ago (i still had the romantic feelings for WAAAY longer tho)

64. again it's not fully fleshed out and i'm actually stuck on how i should design it... all i know is he'll be a black cat. i wanted to do a whole grim reaper kind of fit like scythe and cloak wtv since i like a bunch of characters with that kind of motif (see: Testament Guilty Gear) but then i felt like "oh it's too similar to death that's probably weird" since i want the whole thing to take place after TLW but if i underdesign my s/i it'll feel like kitty kind of but i don't know what to put and its just sdklgfhjslkdhgjklsjdglk aaaaaaaaaaaaaa.............. aside from character design i literally made up the ship lore writing this post for the most part. mostly the details but i had some general idea of what i wanted, i just thought the training idea was cute ❤️ as for other characters i'm good friends with perrito now and sometimes i'll just talk about puss with him for hours and he's always so happy for us

65. my s/i is literally Just Me except a cat also. oh and he knows spanish and tagalog. spanish for talking with puss, tagalog cus i wish i knew it irl. but since it's an s/i i get to do character development that would otherwise not happen irl 🙏 so like a little bit not me but mostly Just Me

66. AU's are cute but they really do feel like an alternate universe. i imagine myself dating in canon but AU's are kinda like a "what if"

67. hug him and hold onto him forever and never let go

68. it's the shrek universe i'm not even sure they're superstitions anymore. they're probably real. black cats being a symbol of bad luck is unironically canon in taopib like

69. he'd buy so much matching stuff and he would say "if we're a team we need matching uniforms" and. he's right. i wear literally all of them

70. his theme song is "fearless hero" take a guess

71. mostly outdoorsy stuff, if he didn't like it he wouldn't have been an adventurer, but also he likes music a lot. wrote fearless hero himself, actually! sometimes he'll make a song about us and play it just for me ❤️

72. the star shape ⭐ it reminds me of the wishing star

73. nothing that i can think of rn... now that i think about it he doesn't really "hate" anything

74. i don't really know if it has a name, but i'm particular to starry night skies. some of the best scenes in the last wish have the night sky visible and it makes puss look even prettier

75. he is combat trained guess who isn't!

76. puss is for the most part just living his best life now, but i want to eventually be on puss's level of adventuring and heroism. maybe a little less focused on public image i just like the fighting bad guys part

77. this is in taopib btw but there's so much i'm just gonna talk abt them all. ok so in s1e15 puss gets cursed with bad luck which turns him into a black cat so he has to leave san lorenzo, but then he finds a ragtag group of other black cats who try to convince him the curse is permanent and for him to join them (cus they're lonely :(). that's just the synopsis but for some reason black cats have luck manipulation???? not typical luck manipulation but they say they can manipulate bad luck and turn it into lucky energy in a "lucky blast" that's more of an attack than actual probability manipulation. puss learns it eventually but he wants more so the cats make up a move and puss, having Main Character Syndrome, manages to be THE ONLY CAT ON EARTH TO HAVE DONE THE MOVE?????????? also the actual group of black cats is silly the main one is normal but the other two, one of them speaks in shakespearian and is implied to have a crush on puss (HE JUST LIKE ME!! HE JUST LIKE ME FR!!!!!!) and the other one only repeats what other people say like tommy from animal crossing ❤️ god i love this show idc how bad the animation is or how forced puss/dulcinea is. they just made everyone a silly guy and it's amazing. there's so much more lore i could talk about in taopib cus there's 6 seasons but Main Character Syndrome is really funny to me so that's what i put here

78. 🤔

79. i do not know what this question means 🤗

80. 😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😁😁😁😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😚😚😚😚😚😚😍😍😘😘😘😘A:KSDFJKJSADKLGKJSDKHGLDFLJH

I LOVE HIM SO MUCHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ok that's all the questions if u read this far i apologize for writing a bajillion paragraphs i just love him so much 💔 pls understand

and pictures of some of the taopib characters i mentioned before i go cus theyre silly too (puss dos and the black cats)

yes he wears a paper hat don't bully him!!! 😠

the one with the crush on puss is Francisco/red hat btw he was so real for that

ok bye thanks for looking at how much i love this fictional cat

80+ selfship questions to answer, whether in a post* or a reblog! feel free to pick the ones you want to answer or just answer for all – this is not an ask game :3

a few of these are romantic, but ofc, there are ones you can answer for your platonics!

* if you do it as a post i’d loveeeee if you tagged me so i could see your answers!

what’s something you do to feel closer to them? fanfics, listen to songs, etc.

how did you get introduced to your f/o and/or their media? do you like their source?

what’s one or two things you especially like about your f/o? can be a headcanon!

what’s one or two things your f/os love about you? ( self positivity time babey )

how do you express your love to them? how do they express their love to you?

a gift you’d like to give them if you could, and something they’d give to you!

what do you celebrate together? like halloween, christmas time, easter, etc.

do you sleep together? is it peaceful or filled with snoring? do you both stay up? tell us more! ( how you sleep, when you sleep, do you wake up at the same time? )

what’s one thing you can’t do well that the other can, vice versa ( e.g cooking, playing video games, so on and so forth )

do you have similar tastes in fashion? aesthetic? food? tell us about their taste!

how do they tend to comfort you? how do you tend to comfort them?

if you have a rival or nemesis f/o, why? are there any lore reasons or is it just because?

what are some uncommon headcanons you have for them?

what is your favorite fan theory/headcanon about them?

if you live together, how’s domestic life like for you both?

do you have any scent hcs for them? ( sweet, something like coffee, etc )

is there anything commonly misunderstood about your f/o?

one thing you don’t have in common, and one thing you do

how do you resolve conflicts? how do you both typically react when faced with conflict or whilst dealing with an argument?

have you met their friends/family? how did that go? do they even keep in contact with their friends/family?

tell us as much (or as little) as you'd like about any of your self ship lore/bg! the timeline!

if they have variations (timelines, skills, voiced languages, etc) which one is your favorite?

your favorite outfit/costume of theirs! if they don’t have any official skins or anything, show us something you think they’d look good in!

who confessed first and how did it go?

did anyone know about your f/o’s feelings before they confessed? how did they find out?

if you have multiple f/os, do they fit into any “type?” ( e.g coincidentally they’re all smartasses, blonde, villains, etc. lol )

do you have any favorite scenarios you like to imagine your f/os in? ( domestic fluff, angsty, etc. )

have you ever thought about ( platonic or not ) marriage? would you consider it a good idea? why or why not?

^ if you're planning to get married, then tell us all about your wedding! the honeymoon! the planning!

if you live together, how does your home look like? who decided on the decor?

do you, or plan to, have f/o kids? ( pets and plants count! ) bonus: if you have pets, do they show any favoritism?

what was it like when they first said ‘i love you’? how did you reply? where was it?

if you could make one thing 100% canon about them, what would it be?

how do you kill time with them when bored?

your favorite thing about your f/o, appearance wise

your favorite thing about your f/o, non-appearance wise

what’s your dynamic like? any tropes you fit?

the most iconic/memed on/quoted line or event associated with your f/o

who’s more likely to be the sappy, cheesy romantic in the relationship?

who gets flustered the easiest?

if you were in an emergency or stressful situation, which one of you’s the best at staying level headed keeping the other calm? who is the one absolutely freaking out?

what nicknames do you call each other?

with phones or modern au : what would your contact names be?

with phones or modern au : how do they use their phone? do they have a billion screenshots in their gallery? whats their wallpaper?

favorite memory involving them ( whether in your lore as a scenario, a scene from their media, or another physical experience like when you received merch etc )

are they physically affectionate? if so, how do they express it? vice versa!

any funny or awkward moments you've experienced with them?

who’s more likely to get into, or start fights? whether with each other or with others.

what were your first impressions of each other?

do you have an anniversary date? how was it decided & how do you (plan to) celebrate it?

.... would you still love them if they turned into a worm

how did their personality or lifestyle change after befriending/getting with you?

something you know about them, that many others don’t?

how do they reassure or affirm their love for you?

what’s your funniest or most embarrassing memory together?

what’s their sense of humor like? how easy is it to make them laugh?

what inside jokes do you share?

if necessary, how do you wake them up? how do they wake you up?

any daily routines or habits you two follow?

what do others in source say about your relationship? do you keep it a secret?

if you have more than one f/o from the same media, which one were you drawn to first? any lore connection like did they introduce you to the others? did one make you fall for the other?

dream piece of merchandise or f/o-related experience you’d like to have

how are they like when vulnerable?

describe your f/o in 6 words or less

describe your f/o using only emojis

would you rather go to their world, or have them come to yours?

do you care about ship lore? feel free to tell us about it if you’d like!

if you have a s/i, how’d you go about creating their design? what went into their lore? how do the others in the source feel about your s/i?

does your s/i hold similarities to you, is completely like you or completely different from you? do you even have a s/i?

thoughts on AUs/canon divergent things? do you prefer to stick as closely to canon as possible or no?

quick! your f/o’s just spawned in front of you, now what do you do?!

do they have any superstitions they believe in?

would you or your f/o ever get matching things? ( keychains, tattoos, shirts, etc ) do they find it cringy or cute?

who’s more the scaredy cat out of you two?

what kind of things is your f/o into? games, music, decor, whatever!

the most random thing you associate with your f/o (foods, shapes, even textures! anything that’s not an obvious)

anything your f/o absolutely hates, but you absolutely love?

any aesthetic or -core you associate with your f/o, whether it be due to their design or personality?

who's more likely to die first in a zombie apocalypse lol

do your f/os have any long term wishes or goals? what about your s/i?

your favorite f/o fun fact or bit of lore

which animal represents your f/o the best?

does your f/o run hot or cold?

free space to gush about whatever you want ♡

#selfship questions #self ship questions #questions #ship lore #s/i lore #s/i

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spicycreativity · 3 years ago

Text

Intertwined - Chapter 7

Chapter: 7/8

Additional Notes: IDK if anyone is keeping sole track of this fic on Tumblr but if you are, apologies for the delay in posting 😅 Also do yourself a favor and get an AO3 account

Chapter Content Warnings: Blood, respiratory distress, very brief mentions of alcohol (alcohol use not depicted)

This was getting unbearable. Janus buried his face in his handkerchief and coughed and coughed. His blood was warm against his tongue and lips, streaking the blooms dark red. His chest burned constantly now, his throat always irritated and raw.

To top it all off, Patton had disappeared without a word of warning, leaving Janus with no answers. If anything, he had more questions than ever before. The vase of poppies on Patton's dresser could not have been a coincidence, but there was just no way this was Patton's fault.

So Janus was saddled with a mystery, with flowers in his lungs, and with Remus' awkward attempts at support.

"I'm just saying, you can't rule it out until you try it," Remus said, pausing in his pacing to give Janus a doe-eyed pout.

"For the last time, Remus, I'm not going to huff weed killer." Janus threw his head back against the couch cushions and tried his best to sigh. The effect was somewhat muted by the sputtering coughs that followed.

"I can tell you want to scream," Remus said.

He was right, though Janus would never admit it. "Yes, I think that--" Breathe, breathe, breathe-- "that'll fix me." What Janus really wanted, disgusted as he was to admit it to himself, was Patton. Not that Patton would be able to do anything that Remus couldn't do, but Janus missed him. Quite terribly, if he was being honest with himself. Maybe he would feel better if he cried, not that he'd ever allow himself to do that. He'd have to be out of his mind on hypoxia and poppy seeds.

"I just wish there was something I could do," Remus said, dropping hands to his sides. "Other than just sit here and watch."

Janus hadn't told him about the flowers in Patton's room. He kept things close to his chest by nature, determined to solve his problems on his own. He didn't ask for help. Even if he would have dearly liked another perspective on this mystery, he couldn't put that responsibility on Remus. It would only make him feel worse if he failed.

"You can make me ginger tea," Janus said, forcing a smile. It wasn't right seeing Remus fret like this. "With honey."

A teacup appeared on the coffee table alongside a bottle of whiskey. So much for occupying Remus with busywork. "What I should do," Remus said, brandishing his morningstar, "is go maul Roman until he agrees to fix you."

"As entertaining as that would be, I'm not so sure that's the most efficient course of action, per se." Janus shifted, trying to work out how to leave Remus without making him feel abandoned. He just wanted to go check on Patton, but didn't feel at all up to the task of refereeing whatever confrontation would result in Patton and Remus sharing space. He could always just get up and leave with no explanation…. But Remus didn't deserve that.

In the end, he decided to wait until Remus got bored. There was no guarantee he was even going to find Patton. He had been AWOL for the past two days and Janus had had a near run-in with Virgil last night when he'd gone to look for Patton, an experience he was not keen to repeat.

And if Janus expedited the process of ditching Remus by pretending to fall asleep, well, he'd never tell.

Patton had a distinctly hungover look about him, with his glasses missing and his hair sticking up in the back. He blinked at Janus, bleary-eyed, and Janus' heart started to jackhammer in his chest. How utterly cute, how endearing. He wanted to smooth Patton's hair down and kiss him on the forehead, though he'd have to stand on his tiptoes to reach. Damn the subconscious for making him tiny.

"Where have you been?" Janus asked, planting himself in the middle of the hallway. Patton's door disappeared into white ether, a fact which Janus filed away to think about later.

"Sleeping," Patton said, holding up a bottle of NyQuil.

Well, that explained why he didn't smell like alcohol despite the obvious hangover. "And here I thought you were avoiding me," Janus teased. Despite the awful sting all up and down his chest, Patton's mere presence seemed to lighten the burden and ease his fears. He could bear this as long as he had Patton by his side.

"No," Patton mumbled, dragging hands down his face. "Coffee. Then talk."

He swayed a little, steadying himself on the wall. Janus held out his hand. "Come here, let me help."

Patton nodded and let Janus lead him to the kitchen. Not trusting Patton with the high chairs at the kitchen island, Janus instead led him to the table and turned a chair out for him so they could face each other. Patton coughed behind closed lips and a spike of fear paralyzed Janus' heart. He was already fighting for breath and this new bolt of adrenaline made him dizzy. He took deep breaths (as well as he could, with his lungs all entangled and bleeding) and forced himself to make coffee step-by-step. It was the one thing he regularly did by hand instead of just imagining it to completion, a ritual and a reward.

"I hope you didn't catch what I have," Janus said. Maintaining the lie.

"Doubt it," Patton mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

Janus narrowed his eyes. What did that mean? Was Patton coughing up poppies, too? Suddenly, the drip-drip-drip of coffee into the pot, the rich, reassuring smell of the grounds, seemed unimportant. Janus imagined the coffee done percolating, imagined two mugs on the table. He pushed one toward Patton. "Cheers."

"What time is it?" Patton asked before downing half the contents of the mug in one long swallow.

"Around noon, I think." Feeling his diaphragm seize, Janus turned away, shaking his handkerchief out of his sleeve, and gave in to the fit. It was getting harder and harder to swallow the pain. Inhaling was not just uncomfortable now; it hurt like clenched fists around his lungs. But Janus was a practiced liar and tucked the pain away behind a velvet curtain. "I haven't seen you in two days."

"Sorry," Patton said, looking fractionally more alert now. "I was trying to sleep off this… Cold, I guess."

"Mm," said Janus, taking a sip of coffee to keep from having to answer properly. He couldn't decide how he wanted to pursue this, if he wanted to pursue this. What did it matter if Patton was coughing up poppies or daisies or African violets? It brought Janus no closer to solving the puzzle.

"You sound really bad," Patton said. He finished his coffee and blinked hard. "Oh! I'm sorry, but I don't think it's Roman."

"You're sure?" Janus asked, blood running cold.

But a lot of things seemed to be hitting Patton all at once with the introduction of caffeine to his system; he whipped his head up to look at Janus with something akin to panic. "I wanted to thank you, and-- Oh." He looked at their coffee mugs with obvious dismay. "I did it again."

"Did what?"

"I… I let you take care of me," Patton said in a small voice.

"Oh, Patton," Janus sighed, unable to help himself. The breath that ghosted across his lips tasted like blood and black coffee. He wondered if Patton would mind terribly if Janus kissed him anyway. "I really haven't been." That was true. Janus had been deliberately holding himself back from giving himself over to Patton. How little support did he get from the others, that Janus' minor attempts at friendship felt so significant?

"You have!" Patton insisted. "Right from the start. You've been right by my side through all of this, reminding me to take care of myself, spending time with me. You even helped me with that dog puzzle."

"I don't understand," Janus said. These were normal friendship behaviors. Had he been too obvious? Did Patton suspect? "Wouldn't the others have done the same?"

"They would," Patton said. "If I had asked."

"Oh," said Janus, blinking away a wave of dizziness. Even he couldn't begrudge the others their lack of understanding. It wasn't their fault they couldn't give Patton what he hadn't asked for. But what did it say about him that he had?

"You've been a really good friend to me, Janus. Even though I don't deserve it."

"Don't talk about my friend like that," Janus said, nudging Patton in the ribs. It was a soft, familiar gesture, something he'd done to Remus a hundred times before. It was the first time Janus had touched Patton without announcing it, getting permission.

Patton smiled at him, and then they both ruined the moment by dissolving into twin coughing fits.

Janus' lasted longer; he felt Patton's eyes on him as he repeatedly tried and failed to get himself under control-- Was that an entire flower in his throat? What did that mean? He banished it with difficulty, trying to master the animal impulses screaming it hurts it hurts it hurts as if to drown out his rational thought. He should leave, but he didn't want to. So he straightened up and washed away the taste of blood in his mouth with another swallow of coffee.

"Ohhh," Patton whispered. "You really don't sound good."

"I'm fine," Janus said, reflexively bringing out an old standard. It was the one lie everybody told.

"You didn't believe me when I said I was fine," Patton said. "Why should I believe you?"

"There's not really anything to be done about it," Janus said, hating the shallow breaths he had to take between every few words. If he stayed, he would have to pretend he wasn't in agony. But hadn't he been doing that this whole time? It was agony, being so certain that Patton could never want Janus the way Janus wanted Patton, yet unable to crush that sliver of hope that never died out.

Patton brandished the NyQuil bottle and Janus forced himself to laugh. Patton smiled at him, so soft and gentle and honey-sweet. "Why don't you sit with me?" Janus blinked and they were on the couch with two fresh cups of coffee. Patton had left no space between their bodies. "Is this okay?"

It wasn't, really. Janus burned with the contact, burned all over until he could feel it in his face and had to hide behind a cooler mask, though he was sure this one was still pale and pinched with pain. It wasn't fair at all, this horrible parody of romance. It shouldn't have been a problem. He should have been satisfied with friendship, like he was with Remus. It was nothing to sit in Remus' lap or play with his hair because they were both happy with the arrangement. But this? This made Janus want to put a fist through the wall. So of course, he said "Yes" and took his hat off in case he worked up the courage to rest his head on Patton's shoulder.

"Are we still gonna be friends the next time Thomas needs us for something?" Patton asked.

"So it's just a given that we're going to disagree?"

"Janus."

"Okay, okay." Janus sighed as deeply as his strangled lungs would allow. "I promise."

Patton beamed and didn't even question him. He just took it at face value now, that Janus wasn't lying about this. "Oh, good."

"So what are we doing?" Janus asked. "Going to drink coffee and gossip like a couple of old ladies?"

"Whatever you want, really," Patton said.

"Oh, good," Janus said drily. "I want to take shots and play strip poker." Patton blinked at him. "Kidding."

"Oh!" said Patton, shaking his head. "Sorry. Guess the NyQuil hasn't worn off yet."

"How about we watch something?" Janus asked. It was probably a little too early in the friendship to force Patton sit down and watch Perry Mason with him, but then again… He was a practiced hand at being selfish. The TV flashed to life and Janus sat his mug down on the coffee table before leaning back to watch.

"Ha," said Patton, apparently recognizing the show. "Should have guessed."

"Oh, enlighten me," Janus said, feigning innocence. "What's so funny?"

"I should have guessed you'd be into courtroom dramas," Patton said.

Janus would have ribbed him further, had his lungs not decided to turn themselves inside out. He barely got his handkerchief in front of his mouth in time before blood started spilling over his lips. God, this was miserable. His resolve was cracking; he was starting to doubt he could make it much longer without vocalizing the pain. "Maybe I will take that NyQuil," he said, the words feeling like coarse grit sandpaper as they dragged themselves up his throat. He took it from Patton before Patton could take the cap off-- He still had his pride even if he wouldn't have his voice for much longer. The thought loomed so terrifying in his mind that denial smacked it down to nothing before it could get out of control. Janus poured out half a dose of NyQuil. Everything would be fine. He would be okay. The subconscious would set him straight before the flowers could completely take over his respiratory system.

Beside him, Patton coughed a little too, and Janus sincerely hoped that he wasn't suffering the same ailment. Patton didn't deserve that.

The NyQuil kicked in gently, drawing Janus so subtly toward sleep he only noticed he was drifting off when his head touched Patton's shoulder.

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