#it's time :)

[theeroticlover]

Desperation !!!

[theabigailthorn]

big acting announcement coming on Tuesday :P

[lolobizarreadventuresshatpost]

[wejustvibing]

🫶🏾

[schneiderenjoyer]

[Attention! UTTU Magazine is holding a special limited run "Live Letter Interview" issue with featured guests, Vertin & Schneider!]

Grab yourself a copy and submit your inquiry through the arcane skill embedded within this edition's magazine. The message will be received in real time and you'll have your answer by way of exclusive UTTU cards!

Remember, this is a limited run, so don't miss the chance to ask all you want to know from the arcanist themself before the incantation wears off!

[respectthepetty]

Pride Petty Watch

Long story short, I owe the BL gods, so I'll be watching TWO series from my Petty List during the month of June. This list includes shows I haven't watched for purely petty reasons, so I'm asking the crowd to pick the two shows I will watch from all the MAME series, some censored Chinese bromances, a few sexual tension-filled Korean bromances, and one wild card.

I'm making my first ever poll, so whichever two series get the highest numbers will be the two I watch. And for all the kind people in the crowd, this is not the time to think about me. Pick your favorite. And for all the people who I annoy on the daily with my wild ass takes that piss you off, pick TharnType. But there is a possibility of a secret thirteenth option that would hurt me much worse . . .

The petty ass reasons are below the poll.

Disclaimer: If you're going to read the petty ass reasons, I need you to understand these are PETTY ASS REASONS, so don't try to hit me with 2,000 words about why me not watching censored bromances is a problem or why me not liking your fave hurts your feelings. Nah. Pick a show!

MAME

Love By Chance

This show came out at the end of 2018, and I watched the first episode, maybe first two, and thought it was boring. Then, in 2019, I saw a GIF of the locker scene, so I recommitted. I made it past the first episode just when the PerthSaint drama started spilling out everywhere, so I chucked the deuces and haven't returned since.

TharnType

For some reason, I couldn't find the first episode when it aired. Then, I found out how the first episode ended. Then, I found out about Type's past. Then, I just kept finding out more awful stuff until eventually the MewGulf shit finally hit the fan, and I was still reeling from the PerthSaint drama (and the emerging ZeeSaint chaos). At this point, I've built this show up so much that I'm afraid to see what it is actually about.

Don't Say No

A story of another GIF of a locker room scene sucking me in! After the first two MAME pairs blew up, I believed her shows were cursed, so I opted out of watching this one even though I thought it would be the one to vibe with me the most. But the biggest reason was because the main characters came from TharnType, so I felt like I would have to watch TharnType to understand this show, which was a big hell nah.

Love in the Air

I watched this through mutuals on my dash, so I feel like I did watch it. It is also the highest rated MAME series, so I had faith in it. However, when I found out about Sky's past, TharnType's ghost popped back up, and I realized this demon of a show is gonna haunt me in every MAME series.

The Wedding Plan

Y'all hated one of the leads so much while it was airing that I now hate him, and I don't think I can let that go, so I'm coming in with pre-hate and TharnType's ghost, but on top of that, some of y'all said it was boring. But what is boring in a MAME series? Consent? Not kidnapping someone? I never got answers, so I'm very conflicted about this show.

Censored Chinese

The Untamed

It's color coded, but FIFTY FUCKING EPISODES! What is this shit? Grey's Anatomy? The fuck! Second, once China pulled Addicted, I was holding grudges for life because it crossed from entertainment censorship into real-world oppression, so I could not bring myself to support media from a country that openly discriminates against the queers when I live in America where our highest court is just one Supreme Court Justice away from making us all live in the damn Mojo Dojo Casa House.

Word of Honor

It's color coded, but THIRTY-SIX FUCKING EPISODES! What is this shit? Supernatural?! The fuck! Second, I don't know the difference between this and The Untamed. Both are color-coded, one of them has a lot of uncles (?), one of them has awful facial hair, and they all have pretty outfits. Every time someone makes a reference about these shows, I just nod the same way I do when people mention Star Wars because none of it makes sense.

Guardian

I spent two years believing Killer and Healer was Guardian. I haven't watched either, but I thought they were the same show. Honestly, if this show wins, I might just watch Killer and Healer because I will forget they are not the same show. Don't they both solve cases? And because it's China, past lives must be involved, no? I'm looking at their MDLs as I write this, and I'm still not convinced they are different.

Stay with Me

It's color coded, but I know how it ends, and word on the street is that IS the ending since a second season seems unlikely. China couldn't just let me be hurt over Addicted, the original. No. Gotta hurt me again with Addicted, the remake. Rude af.

The Spirealm

First off, SEVENTY-EIGHT FUCKING EPISODES! What is this shit? Law & Order: SVU?! The fuck! I know how this ends, and it ain't happy! I don't care how people are trying to spin it, so to sit through SEVENTY-EIGHT DAMN EPISODES just for that ending already has me irate. And don't try telling me Viki combined episodes so it's only thirty-four. That's still a lot. However, everybody who has watched it says it's phenomenal, so is the pain worth it or are these people all lying so they convince themselves it was worth it?

Korean Bromance

Beyond Evil

With most Korean dramas, I feel like I missing something important. Like some part of the story does not click with me and I stay lost for the rest of the show. I suck it up for the queers, but the not-queers-but-it-is-queer shows . . . nah, and especially one about cops . . . (-_-). Also, The Worst of Evil just showed, and it was another reminder that I need these cops to quit their jobs and just screw each other. Embrace "Be Gay. Do Crime"

The Devil Judge

I know enough about Kpop to know GOT7 would not let one of its members kiss a man in this show. I looked at those GIFs of Jeff Satur and Jackson Wang on their show knowing damn well that if Wang got too close to Satur, an entire management team would have ascended from hell and kidnapped both of them, so the promo for this show was so wild because it felt queerbait-adjacent, and I was salty about it.

WILD CARD!

This option will be automatically unlocked IF this stupid little poll gets 216 votes, so I have high hopes this will not happen since I ain't that popular and I hate this wild card which is . . .

SOTUS

This show is my original TharnType. It came out in 2016. I watched it live. I watched the sequel. I remember neither. New was in it? Off was in it?! WHAT?! I have no memory of this show except Krist wiping his mouth, and I have carried that with me for eight damn years. I loved Be My Favorite, so I thought I moved past whatever strange grudge I was holding against this man who doesn't know I exist nor care, but then I saw that trailer for The Ex-Morning, and unlike Elsa, I can't let this shit go, so I'm willing to play Jumanji and go back into the jungle to finish this once and all.

So what it's gonna be, mi gente. Which demons am I facing for Pride and what shows do I get to stay petty about? Help me decide!

[junjou-laina]

uh oh, sisters

it's time

[abigailcowen]

HOCUS POCUS (1993) • dir. Kenny Ortega

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Apple Seed 12: It's Time

Charlie: (sleeping soundly for the first time in months)

Vaggie: (leaning against the doorframe to their room and just staring at Charlie with the biggest smile) Te amo, querida.

Charlie: zzZzzZzz.....

Razzle: (nestled in on the other side of the maternity pillow) ZzZzZ... Baaaaa.... ZzZzZ... Baaaaa....

Keekee: (curled up against Charlie's shoulder) zzzzz... zzzzz... zzzzz...

Vaggie: (hums fondly as she quietly slips out of her uniform, into her nightgown, and gently crawls into bed - kissing Charlie on the cheek and the swell of her belly and whispering) Buenas noches.

....

......

........

..........

Charlie: (gasps as she springs up into a seated position and grabs her belly) Oh.... oh..... oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.... (throws the blankets off of herself and sees a large puddle of wetness underneath her) Oh....shit! Vaggie?

Vaggie: (grumbles mostly asleep)

Charlie: (shakes Vaggie) Vaggie!

Vaggie: (startles awake) Huh? What is it? Another craving from Taco Hell and Billy Bongs?

Charlie: (shaky) I think my water just broke.

Vaggie: ............ (blinks and rubs her eyes before slapping herself) Say again?

Charlie: My water just broke!

Vaggie: (sees the mess in the bed and leaps into action) FUCK!!! Okay! Okay! Don't panic! We have a plan for a reason. Home birth! I'll go get your dad to call Sloth ring to get a midwife! (sprints out of the room)

Charlie: Okay. Okay. Okay. Deep breaths, Charlie. (breathes in and out slowly)

Razzle: (stares at Charlie with worry and puts his hoof on her thigh) Baa?

Charlie: It's okay, buddy. (slowly scoots to the middle of the bed and makes herself a comfortable nest of pillows) It's okay. (contraction hits) OOOOooooOoooooooooOOOOoOh.....

Vaggie: (sprinting to the Morningstar wing of the hotel and bashes against Lucifer's door) LUCIFER!!! LUCIFER, OPEN UP!!!

Lucifer: (opens the door groggily while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes) What? What? Where's the fire, Maggie?

Vaggie: Baby's coming!

Lucifer: (eyes snap open) Baby's coming?

Vaggie: Baby's coming!!!

Lucifer: Oh, shit- (snaps his fingers and instantly gets dressed in his typical suit) BABY'S COMING!!!! What do we do?! What do we do?!

Vaggie: Call Sloth Ring to get the midwife, dammit!!!

Lucifer: Right! Right! I got it! (turns around to run into his room so he can grab his phone) I can do that- (runs headfirst into the door frame) OUCH!!!

Vaggie: UuUuuuuUUUUuUUuggGGgGghhhhHhhh......

[raayllum]

I know the patience of a prisoner. I have not seen the stars in centuries. But when I see them again—when the stars are forced to look upon me, their dark brother—they will know how I have waited. And when everything they have built lies shattered, I will savor their fall from the sky.

[stcantarella]

we need a fujoshi in the roman senate

[zoerocksand1]

👁️

🔥He's Back🔥

[jula483]

you guys.............

(x)

[burninblood]

Time to manifest for something new

[lovifie]

I was thinking about how there is almost no bottom Price x top Gaz and I had the lightbulb moment that I can just...

Write it.

Edit: I Wrote It