#it's the time of year where I wish I had a ton of money so I could gift some to every customer service

[pancake-breakfast]

There's a danger in seeing these headlines and assuming some biological change related to COVID made more people into jerks, but the articles (or... two of them, since the CBS and CTV ones are the same) note the change is more in line with going through years of stress. They talk about how the environment exacerbated a lot of issues that predate the pandemic, and about how polarization around masks led to a lot of "othering" of those who didn't share one's view, and how in turn that led to people having less grace for anyone perceived as "other."

And, of course, those in low-paying customer service jobs somehow continue to be the punching bags for those with the most frustration. It's neither fair nor reasonable.

If all of this unfairness and jerk behavior were in manifest in an individual, or even in a handful of individuals, one could theoretically send them to therapy to work through their trauma and learn to rebuild social bonds. But how does one provide therapy for a whole society? How does one help a world heal from a trauma that spans nations and cultures... especially when one isn't free of the effects of that trauma themselves, and even more especially when they're already forced to beat more than their fair share of everyone else's trauma?

Someone needs to do a study on customers brains before and after the pandemic because i think the pandemic made the general public/customers even more irritating than usual really fast. I rarely would get screamed at before by Karens but now it seems like several times a day every day someones throwing a tantrum over expired coupons or something being out of stock. Im so tired of it

I mean I could keep adding them. But you get the point.

-Rodney

[motorsportbarbie13]

The Yapping Hour Is Upon Us - Part 3

In which you and Max spend the next six months just being obsessed with each other.

Warnings: A little angst, but not 'break up with you' angst, just 'i really fucking miss you' angst so it's okay. And fluff. Tooth achingly sweet fluff. Pairing: Max Verstappen x Podcaster!Reader Word Count: 4.4k plus a shit ton of social media posts. - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - Part 2 - Master List

(a/n before we begin: Probably one more part to this. Thinking of doing an 'after Max gets you back to the hotel post-race' part to wrap things up nicely if anyone wants to see that.)

Monaco May 2024

F1GossipOfficial posted

34,028 likes F1GossipOfficial Seems as if our favorite Red Bull driver and sunny little podcaster are getting closer! The pair was spotted around Monaco this week ahead of the Monaco Grand Prix. The pair have been seen publicly a handful of times since Max made an appearance on her podcast The Yapping Hour in late April, most notably at the Miami Grand Prix at the beginning of the month and then the week later in New York City where she is based. Everyone who sent in photos said the pair were super cozy and seemed lost in their own world. user0299 she's only with him for the clout and money. Her little podcast was dying out and she latched onto Max like a leech. >>>user5572 go touch some grass my man. Her podcast is consistently the number 1 listened to show on all platforms all the fucking time. user9938 they are so cute, i can't handle it user4530 I saw them at dinner the other night and oh my GOD. They sat on the same side of the table even though it was just the two of them. He held her hand underneath the table all through dinner and I don't think either of them stopped smiling or looked anywhere else but at each other the entire night. >>>user39948 they are so fucking perfect oml

Canada June 2024 yourpersonalinsta posted

493,928 likes liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, totowolff, and others yourpersonalinsta Over the moon to have been able to be with you for this win in Canada, Maxie. user299 MAXIE?! I have no one to talk to about this redbullracing our good luck charm strikes again! >>>user456 Red Bull calling her theirs??? Love this for her. maxverstsppen1 thank you for always being in my corner liefje ❤️ >>>user394 how am i supposed to be normal after reading this??? user8827 Not Toto in the likes trying to get on her good side so Max signs with Merc in 2026 >>>user778 HAHA can you imagine??

Amalfi Coast August 2024

maxverstappen1 posted

987,409 likes liked by yourpersonalinsta, redbullracing, yourdad and others maxverstappen1 summer break with this gorgeous girl user458 they are my royal couple yourpersonalinsta wishing we were back on that boat rn instead of on different continents :( >>>maxverstappen1 just a few more weeks until Singapore, schatje. >>>user4938 this is my roman empire >>>user024 mom and dad are sad so i am sad too

October 2024 Austin, Texas

You hadn't seen Max in over three weeks. Three very, very, very long weeks. And not to be dramatic or anything but you felt like you might actually pass away if the Uber that was currently picking it's way through very heavy Austin traffic drove any slower.

While the sleek Mercedes SUV waited at a red light, your gaze drifted away from the navigation system showing the the heavy traffic all around you towards the busy city streets around you. Whoever had decided to schedule an Eminem concert, a huge college rivalry football game, and a Formula 1 race all in the same city on the same weekend should have their head examined.

Fixated on the crowd on the sidewalk outside, you mull over the last six months of your life. It has certainly been a whirlwind, that was for sure. If someone had told you back in the beginning of May that you'd be on your way to your sixth Grand Prix of the year to watch your boyfriend race in Formula 1, you would have laughed in their faces. Because really, when you sat back and considered it, the fact that you had gone from being a fan of the sport and interviewing Max on a professional level to dating him in under six months was absolutely wild.

While you attended races whenever you could, you found yourself more often than not called to the other side of the world to attend to your flourishing career. In the last six months you had ping ponged around the globe, bouncing between weekends with Max and over scheduled weeks filled with work, interviews, and meetings. Some days you just wished that things were simpler and you could just dedicate yourself to following Max around from city to city but you knew that Susan B Anthony would roll over in her grave if you gave up everything for a man so quickly, even a man as amazing as Max Verstappen.

You brush aside the thought of leaving your work because in the end, all that is is a simple fantasy brought on by you missing the man that has become the center of your universe lately.

After attending the Singapore GP with Max, you had spent a few extra days with him in Asia before needing to fly home. While Max did have nearly an entire month break from racing, he couldn't follow you to New York like he had intended. After coming back from the summer break, Max's luck had started to slip and the car had deteriorated. He hadn't won a race in months, the car was an absolute tractor, and Lando was gaining on him in the Championship. He had needed to spend every extra moment he had in the sims and with the engineering team trying to salvage the season.

While Max had been in Europe, you had been in the US recording episodes with Heidi Klum, Wayne Gretzky, and finally Kylie Kelce. Heidi had been in LA, Wayne in Florida, and Kylie in Philly so you had spent most of the last three weeks on the road. As the SUV inched closer to the COTA track, you realized you couldn't remember the last time you'd set foot in your apartment.

Exhaustion seeps into your bones as the realization washes over you. You loved the life you lived, wouldn't trade it for the world but sometimes, in these quiet moments you wished for a break, a chance to go home, wherever that even was now, and just rest.

Your phone buzzing beside you pulls you back to the present. Ysou struggle to shake off the mind numbing melancholy that's settled over you like a thick woolen blanket before answering the call. "Hi baby." You sigh, knowing who it is without even looking at the caller ID.

"What's wrong?" Max's voice is sharp on the other end, effortlessly reading your tone.

You shake your head, chest tightening with anxiety. "Just..." You search for the right words. "tired is all. I just realized I can't even remember the last time I spent a night in my own bed."

"Oh, schatje." Max sighs, knowing how grueling this schedule is as he lives it as well. "Do you want me to have the jet take you home? It's at the airfield still."

Tears collect in your eyes as your chest squeezes painfully. "No, I just want to see you." You whisper, afraid if you raise your voice you'll start to cry.

"How far are you from the track?"

You pop your head around the SUV's headrest to check the nav system. "Not long. Five minutes. I can see the giant observation tower from here."

"Have the Uber bring you right to the paddock gates. I have a car here and a few hours before any media duties. I'll take you back to the hotel myself and we can take a nap together, okay?"

Your entire body sags with relief at his words. If there was one thing that Max was good at, it was taking care of you. He didn't hem and haw or waver on a plan of action. He saw what you needed and made sure that you were taken care of. The way the burden of everything that you had silently carried for years shifted towards Max the moment you landed in Miami all those months ago was something that would shock you for years to come.

"Okay." You whisper, swiping at a single tear that managed to escape.

You have a few moments to collect yourself before the Uber stops at the entrance to the paddock. From your seat in the back, you spot a familiar blonde head that belonged to your Dutch boyfriend waiting for you. You're suddenly simultaneously bursting with excitement and beside yourself with grief as the anxiety that has gnawed at you over the last 24 hours fully consumes you at the mere sight of Max.

Max has you out of the car and into his arms before you can barely catch your breath. The moment you inhale that uniquely Max scent something inside you shifts and becomes crystal clear. You didn't need Max to have his jet take you home because you already were home. It sounded cliche in your head and it probably was, but you knew there was some truth to it: somewhere over the last six months your home had shifted away from your apartment in New York to wherever Max was.

Max tightens his grip around your waist, settling his chin on your head while you stay buried deep in his neck, you realize that home isn't a place any longer. Home is a person now and Max is that person. You don't have to go home to New York to rest, you just have to be in Max's presence. With him, you are utterly and completely safe and secure. For someone who spends 99% of her time 'on' and performing, being able to come home to Max and just switch it all off, allowing him to lead and take over, is the most powerful form of rest you could have ever dreamt of.

Max nods at the driver as he unloads your luggage, arms still locked tight around you. He can feel you melt into him, like you've been waiting for this moment since the last time you saw him. He knows that for him at least, this is true. Everything else in his life is completley falling apart. The car sucks, they had to ditch the special livery for this weekend becuase the fucking paint had the potential to make the car too heavy and slow. Lando has been on a tear lately, that McLaren a complete rocket ship and the only reason Lando hasn't overtaken him in the championship is thanks to some spectacularly shitty calls from the McLaren pit wall.

The only bright spot in Max's day is you. Your voice, your touch, your face. Any bit of you he gets on a daily basis is what keeps him going right now. As he had stood on the curb just moments before, desperately and not so patiently waiting while watching the black Mercedes SUV creep down the street towards him, it had felt like cruel and unusual punishment after being apart from you for so long.

And now? Now you were back in his arms and he drew in the longest breath he could, taking in the scent of your perfume and laundry soap that he had missed so keenly while he'd been working, and he simply couldn't get enough.

Max pulls away slightly, so he can see your pretty face but what he sees in your eyes nearly breaks him. Pain and longing hang heavy in your eyes and there is nothing Max wouldn't do to make all of that go away for you. Fingers tip your chin up towards him so he can finally get his lips on yours, a soft sigh escaping your mouth when he makes that first contact.

You swear it's like a cool drink of water in the middle of a humid heatwave in July, the way Max kisses you with such relief and passion and affection. Like he's trying to tell you through his kiss how much he adores you, how much he's missed you, how much he craves you.

"I love you." Are the first words he says to you and your breath catches in your throat. It isn't the first time he's said those words, Max had said them first all those months back when he brought you home to Monaco. It had been quick, probably too quick by the world's standards, but it just clicked between the two of you and the words had tumbled out of Max like it was the most natural thing in the world. The reason the words had your breath catching in your chest was because of the ferocity behind them, like he could tell how bone tired you were from all the travel over the last few months and he was desperate to remind you why you were doing all of this. Why the two of you were doing all of this together and apart. It was for moments like this, moments where you were attached to each other in the middle of the busy paddock parking lot like no one else existed.

"I love you too, Max." You whisper, dusting your lips over the stubble that was scattered over his jaw. "Can we go take a nap now? I'm so tired."

yourpersonalinsta posted

348,209 likes liked by kyliekelce, maxverstappen1, assistantshannon, and others yourpersonalinsta home is wherever you are (tagged: maxverstappen1) user098 mad max is no more, there is only soft cuddly boyfie max user0399 this is the cutest thing i've ever seen user000 god i am so single maxverstappen1 love you baby >>>danielricciardo SIMP >>>maxverstappen1 absolutely >>>user9938 it kills me that he is loves her so boldly and loudly. girl hit the mfing jackpot. (liked by author)

It's not your alarm that fully wakes you up on Friday morning. It isn't Max's either. But as you try to untangle your limbs from Max's and search for the source of the ringing, you can't help but curse whoever is interrupting the slow sleepy cuddles that had been progressing into something more heated for the past 20 minutes.

You nearly spit you're so mad when you see the caller ID.

"John." You growl, sitting up in bed as Max settles himself back against the mountain of pillows beside you. "It is 8 in the morning on a Friday the day after I saw my boyfriend for the first time in over three weeks. I swear on all things good and holy, this had better be good."

John, to his credit, didn't even scoff at the threat. He'd been your business manager for going on four years now and was used to your early morning attitudes.

"She said yes."

You sit up, back going ramrod straight as the three words clang through you. "What?" You hiss.

Beside you, Max struggles to sit up too, alarm coursing through him at the panic in your voice.

"Tree just called me five minutes ago. Said that Kylie had sent her the episode and wouldn't stop gushing about how amazing you were and how you were the perfect person to do this interview on the end of the tour and everything. Tree said Taylor watched your episode with Michelle and Queen Maxima too, said they were the best interviews she's ever seen. Everything is a go."

Your entire world tilts as what John is telling you fully sinks in. "Taylor Swift's agreed to come on the show?" You voice is weak, heavy under the weight of the news John is telling you. Your hands tremble at the thought of what this means for you. For your career.

Beside you, Max sucks in a breath at your sentence, fully aware of how big of a moment this is for you. Pride soars through him as he watches literal sunshine dance across your face, your smile as bright as the Texas morning light. "Schatje." He whispers, pulling your free hand towards his lips. Your eyes dart over to him and you grin at him, kicking your feet a little, completely unable to hide your excitement.

"She also said yes to your suggestion of a behind the scenes vlog on your channel ahead of the release of the episode. Thought the idea was marketing gold. You've got full access to everything for the entire week."

Before you had landed Kylie Kelce on the show, you and John had made a silly, pie in the sky request to Tree Paine not even thinking that it would go anywhere. When Kylie had agreed to do an episode, a request that had actually been made to her people months before John had contacted Tree, the idea of maybe, just maybe you might be able to land Taylor after had grown a bit. You hadn't told anyone of the request, not even Max, because you didn't want to be embarrassed if it didn't work out.

"There's only one problem." Your heart stops and you grip at Max's hand for support. You knew there had to be a catch. "They want you in Toronto by Sunday."

"Wh-what?" Your stomach plummets through the floor. You had just gotten to Austin last night and now you were going to have to leave again? You were supposed to spend the entire triple header with Max. Three weeks of solid time with him had been the only thing getting you through the previous three week separation. You two had even planned to go visit your parents in Michigan between Austin and Mexico later next week.

"The first concert is Monday and Tree wants you to get as much content as you can and has asked you be there at 9am Monday morning."

You head spins. "Oh-okay." There's a giant Max shaped hole in your heart at what you have to agree to, simply exhausted by the fact that you're going to have to pick up and leave again so soon. "Okay. We'll figure it out."

"Do you want me to have Shannon make flight arrangements?"

You glance over at Max, who senses your apprehension. "Let me talk through it with Max and see what we can figure out. I'll call you in a few hours, okay?"

"Sounds good. Congratulations, kiddo. This is huge."

You smile despite yourself, excitement and anxiety winding their way through your chest making it a little hard to breathe. "Bye John."

You gently place your phone back on the bedside table before turning to Max, bracing yourself for the good and bad news you have to deliver.

"The beginning of that call looked phenomenal but now you look like you're going to be sick." Max observes, pulling you into his lap.

You shudder against when his lips graze your neck, dropping a kiss to his forehead. "Taylor Swift agreed to come on the show and to let me do a weeks worth of behind the scenes of her Toronto shows."

"Baby, that is amazing. This is going to be huge for you and the show!"

You nod, a bit dazed by all of this information you have to process. "But they want me there by Sunday night so I can start first thing Monday." Sadness edges into your voice, the dread of having to leave Max again begins to sink in fully.

"When should Greg have the jet ready to take off then? You'll probably want to leave before the end of the race to beat traffic, yeah? Although I suppose we could find you a helicopter to take you from the track to the airport."

You stare at Max like he's grown three heads. His voice is so nonchalant despite him suggesting he rent you a helicopter that all you can do is blink at him for a few moments. "Just...just like that? You're on board with it? You're not upset?"

Max scoffs, pulling you closer so he can rest his head on your shoulder. His arms go tighter around your waist as he gives you a kiss on the cheek. "Why would I be upset? I'll do anything I can to help you live out this dream, schatje. You know that. This is the biggest thing to happen to your career since you had F1 racing legend Max Verstappen as a guest."

The giggle that tumbles out of you has the tension in the room popping like a soap bubble. "You're ridiculous."

"And yet, you're still here." Max finds your lips then, the kiss full of reassurance and confidence. Of course he was disappointed you were going to be leaving in 2 days and he wasn't sure when you'd be back with him but this opportunity was too good to miss. "I'd never forgive myself if you missed spending a week doing what you love with one of your favorite artists because of me. Of course I'll miss you but you need to do this. So tell me, when should I have the jet ready to get you to Toronto?"

yourpersonalinsta story post

story replies: user8882 ARE YOU THERE FOR ERAS TOUR??? user029 what are you up to ma'am??? user837 wait. first kylie's on the show and now you're in Toronto the same week as Taylor. ARE WE GETTING A TAYLOR EPISODE OH MY GOD.

TheYappingHour posted

876,029 likes liked by maxverstappen1, taylorswift, alexandrasaintmleux, and others theyappinghour Toronto, you were stunning! Can anyone guess who our next guest on the show is going to be??? Behind the scenes vlog dropping next week ahead of a very very special two part episode set to drop later this month. user928 oh my god, everyone stay calm, it's happening. user020 IS THIS FOR REAL??? I will never recover maxverstappen1 so proud of you my love >>>yourpersonalinsta couldn't do it without you, maxie >>>user928 if there's one thing Max is going to be, it's the first one in the likes and comments on anything his girl does. (liked by yourpersonalinsta) >>>user0298 may this kind of love find me one day

Excerpt from Episode 59 of The Yapping Hour featuring Taylor Swift:

You: Speaking of what you do in your down time, can we talk about how supportive you are of your boyfriend and show up for him despite the Brad's and Chad's hating every second of it?

Taylor: It's so silly to me, how much everyone hates it. When I show up at the game, I'm just like every other significant other. I'm not there to take the spotlight away from anyone, I just want to watch my man play!

You: Oh my God, I totally get it. It's so strange to me the way some fans can't handle someone like you who has a whole other identity outside of who you're dating, showing up to support the person you love.

Taylor: It's like, relax! I'm just here to watch my boyfriend catch a ball!

You: Right? Just let me enjoy watching 20 cars drive around in circles in peace please!

Taylor: You two are so cute though. Trav was watching the race in Monaco a few months back, right after he invested in Alpine, and there was that one shot of you and Max after the end of the race in his garage and you were giving him a hug. I love how loudly you love him and how public he is about you. It's refreshing.

You: Oh gosh, thank you. Yes, he is so supportive of everything I do, just like Travis is. It's such a comfort, isn't it? *Taylor nods* He actually stayed in Austin an extra day so I could use his jet to come up here.

Taylor: Trav was supposed to go to that race but got caught up in training stuff. It looked like so much fun.

You: Have you ever been to a race? Either of you?

Taylor: I haven't but Travis went to the Las Vegas race last year. Said it was the one of the biggest parties he'd ever been to.

You: You'll have to come this year then! It's in a few weeks!

Taylor: I'll talk to Trav and see if we can make it happen.

TheYappingHour posted

1,039,928 likes liked by maxverstappen1, taylorswift, kikagomes, and others theyappinghour What an absolute whirlwind of a week and a half. Spending time with your favorite artist, seeing her in her element, and then spending a few hours talking about everything from what it's like to live such a public life to how important it is to have a supportive significant other. I simply can't wait to share the behind the scenes vlog dropping at the end of this week and then the episode later this month. Taylor, you are a dream of a human being and we are so happy to have had this opportunity. Can't wait to see you and Travis at a race! taylorswift You are such a sweetheart! So glad we got to spend time together this past week! Can't wait to hear the episode my love! kikagomes how does it feel to live my dreammmm bestie??? >>>yourpersonalinsta kiks omg i will never recover from this!! maxverstappen1 Proud of you, as always lifeje. >>>yourpersonalinsta can't wait to see you so so so soon baby

"And he doesn't expect a thing?" You glance up at the ticket counter where the airline employee has begun to call first class. You stand, phone still pressed to your ear, pulling your carry on behind you.

"Nope!" On the other end, Max's PR manager Sophie giggles conspiratorially. "He was just complaining to GP ten minutes ago how he couldn't believe they didn't have more flights from Sao Paulo to Paris. He said he was considering upgrading his jet to one with longer range so he could fly private next time."

You roll your eyes but chuckle. If you were a drama queen, your boyfriend could be the drama king to match sometimes. Although you didn't blame him to be quite honest. After leaving Austin mid way through the race, you had missed the Mexico race entirely. The plan had been for you to fly down to Brazil for the Sao Paulo race but editing and press had taken much longer than you had anticipated so now it was Saturday night and you were boarding a 9 hour flight from New York to the South American country.

Only, Max didn't know that. Max thought you were getting on a flight to Nice via Paris before driving to Monaco where he'd meet you sometime late Monday night or early Tuesday morning. Joke was on him though, you had finished everything up and had called Sophie for help to get you down to Brazil just in time for Sunday's race.

"He's such a baby." You murmur as the flight attendant leads you to your seat.

"He is beside himself missing you." Sophie says and you can hear the smile in her voice. "Just make sure I'm around when he sees you for the firs time, okay? He's going to lose it."

Laughing, you hoist your suitcase into the overhead bin before settling down in the luxurious lie flat seat that will be your bed for the next nine hours. If everything goes right, you'll land in Brazil just as the postponed qualifying is finishing up and will be able to watch the entire race in person.

"Thank you for helping coordinate this, Soph. I really appreciate it."

"Anything to get Max out of this slump he's in!" She replies brightly.

A few minutes later, you hang up the phone and type out a quick text letting Max know you're boarding the flight. Luckily, the flight from New York to Paris is roughly the same time as the flight to Sao Paulo so he doesn't bat an eye when you tell him you'll be unreachable, only telling you that the doorman to his building is expecting you and to make yourself at home in his apartment in Monaco when you get there before he does.

************************************************************************

It is absolutely raining cats and dogs when the car Sophie hired pulls into the track after what feels like a lifetime of travel. Right after they served dinner on your flight, you took a sleeping pill and passed out for the duration of the flight, only waking up once the pilot turned on the overhead lights, signaling your arrival.

A quick text to Sophie alerts her to your arrival and she says she'll come and meet you outside the paddock with an extra umbrella. The driver that picked you up from the airport will take your luggage to the hotel where Max and the team are staying. When the car stops in front of the paddock gates, you spot Sophie immediately.

"Soph!!" You shout the moment you stumble out of the car, limbs a little stiff from the long car ride. Sao Paulo traffic is a beast in the best of weather but in a downpour like this? Nightmarish.

Sophie opens her arms to embrace you, "Oh I am so glad you're here. He is an absolute nightmare right now."

You grimace, knowing exactly why. He'd be starting P17 in a few hours. Between the team having got caught behind a red flag during Q2 and his 5 place grid penalty, it was a nightmare scenario for Max. All of this was compounded by Lando's win in the sprint yesterday and the fact that he was starting on pole today.

"Alright then, lets go. Maybe I can talk him down off a ledge before the race starts."

Sophie grins because she knows you'll be able to do just that. If there was anyone who could calm Mad Max down and bring him back to earth after the kind of morning the team had had today, it was you.

As you weave your way through the crowded paddock, the heavy rain simply not a deterrent to anyone at the track today, Max is in the garage considering the merits of scratching his eyeballs out so that he doesn't have to run this fucking race today. Everything is wrong. The car is terrible. Still. The FIA seemed to have a hard on for fucking up his weekend. Lando was on poll. And worst of all, he really fucking missed you. There was still several days between him and being reunited with you but if he could have just walked right out of the paddock and onto a plane to get to wherever you were in that moment, he would have. The only thing that seemed to settle him during these times lately was your steady presence in the garage. He didn't even need you to say anything, just knowing that you were around, within arms length if he needed you, did something to calm him like nothing else could.

He's talking to GP, actually, he's grumbling at GP when a familiar flash of hair and bright smile catches his eyes. Perfect, he thinks miserably, now I'm imagining her in the garage. I've gone full unhinged obsessed boyfriend, haven't I?

Imagine his shock when he actually hears your voice. "Max." You call out softly, hands clasped in front of you as you wait at the edge of the garage beside Sophie.

Max simply blinks a few times, as if he's trying to figure out if he's hallucinating or if you're really standing in front of him. His heart hammers in his chest when everything finally clicks into place. GP doesn't even bat an eye when Max walks away from him, mid sentence, before crossing the garage in a few short strides.

Max isn't usually one for intense public displays of affection, especailly in the garage and neither are you. There's a level of professionalism he likes to maintain while racing and you have always respected that but when Max sees you standing in front of him, practically drowning in one of his sweatshirts, hair wet and messy from walking through the paddock in the rain, he can't stop himself from scooping you up in his arms. Burying his head in your neck, he inhales deeply. So deeply that his lungs pinch with pain from the way he's trying to commit the way you smell to memory.

"You're here." He murmurs, voice thick and heavy with emotion. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going to meet me in Monaco?"

Max sets you down, not really wanting you out of his arms but wanting to move you to a quieter part of the garage. Behind you, Sophie, GP and the rest of the team discreetly shuffle away to give you two a bit of privacy.

"I knew how hard the last two races were for you and I just..." Pausing, you have to wait for a moment for your hands to stop shaking. You've been running on sheer adrenaline and caffeine for what feels like the last three weeks now and the emotion of the moment catches up to you. "I just wanted to be here for you."

Max lowers his lips to yours, covering them in a kiss that is all longing and white hot heat. He keeps the kiss just this side of tame enough for the garage, not wanting to draw the ire of Christian but he had needed to taste you then. His hand comes up to cup your face while the other slips around your waist, pulling you in closer to his body. He's slightly damp from how wet it's been this morning but none of that matters now that you're back in his arms.

"I missed you so much." He murmurs, blue eyes practially sparkling down at you, he's so happy. It's been weeks since he's felt like this. Settled. Like he can take on the world. For the first time in what feels like forever, Max has a sense of determination that wraps itself around him. Like the championship isn't all but lost to Lando. Like the car isn't going to be terrible today, even though he might not even finish in the points. Like everything he's gone through the past few months on the track is all about to end because you're finally here and if anyone can bring the team luck, it's you.

"I love you." You whisper into his chest. "Now, let's go show the world why you're about to become a 4 time world champion, yeah?"

And that's exactly what he does.

yourpersonalinsta posted

938,398 likes liked by redbullracing, taylorswift, yourdad and others yourpersonalinsta we are SO back, baby!!! What started out as a nightmare of a day turned into a generational drive for the history books. P17 to P1 and I cannot believe I was there to witness it. Max, I am proud of you beyond words. You and the entire team deserve this win today. I love you to the moon and back, Maxie. (tagged: maxverstappen1) taylorswift what a race! Trav and I caught most of it before the game today. Congratulations!!! >>>yourpersonalinsta hope to see you in Vegas in a couple of weeks! >>>user928 oh my god, new bestie duo unlocked!? maxverstappen1 words fail to describe how much I love you baby. Thank you for always being in my corner and never giving up on me, even when I want to give up on myself. Love you to the ends of time, schatje >>>user928 i am SOBBING. Boyfriend Max is my favorite Max.

Tags: @shelbyteller @formulaal @martygraciesversion381 @longhairkoo @samantha-chicago @stelena-klayley @dark-night-sky-99

[starless-nightz]

i sent this request to someone else about a year and a half ago and i went back to look at it but they never made it into a fic so i thought it’d ask you instead while also making some small changes to my old request

Eloise bridgerton x fem!royalty!reader where two women can get married as long as one of them is rich enough to support the both of them

reader has to soon take over the throne because she is an only child but she has to first get married so she goes to London to find a wife or a husband and Eloise accidentally makes reader laugh (like that one scene w queen charlotte) which makes Eloise catch readers eye and she tries to court Eloise but Eloise being herself decides to be stubborn and act as if she has no feelings for the reader

readers mother strictly reminds her that she has little time left to find a match which forces reader to move on and try to find someone else who’s more willing to marry

of course Eloise gets jealous which makes her realize her mistake and it end’s with Eloise confessing right before the day reader is about to propose to another girl saying something along the lines of “dont marry her”

happy ending pleaseeee

Eloise being courted by fem! royalty! reader

note -> I absolutely love this idea! I made this into HCs and a scenario since I dont have any idea how to make it into a fic, sorry :[

warnings -> none.

content includes -> fluff/angst, smitten reader, jealousy.

You didnt want to get married, but you had to, as you knew your father was at the brink of death and you would soon need to ascend the throne, forcing you to marry

You disliked the girls this season, they only liked you for your power and money, you wanted someone who would genuienly love you

The moment your eyes layed on Eloise Bridgerton you knew you were smitten, and the way she talks and jokes always make you laugh

You tried to court her, always sending her, her mother and her sisters flowers and gifts, dancing with her at balls, reading and talking about her favorite books, even becoming close friends with some of her brothers

But Eloise did not want you, or at least she acted like it, so your mother forced you to find someone else

The girl wasn't too bad, but she wasn't Eloise, and you knew you could never love her, even if you tried, but she was the best choice from the ton, so you asked her father for her hand, which he agreed

You didnt understand why Eloise was so upset that you were courting another, she didn't want you, after all, but she proved you wrong the day before you were going to propose

"You cannot marry her! I wouldnt allow it!" Eloise said as she grabbed your arm, her eyes filled with guilt and jealousy.

"Why not? I wanted you, Eloise, but you made it quite clear you did not want me, and I must marry if I were to ascend the throne." you said as you looked back at her, you loved her, but she did not love you, so you have to marry another.

You freed your arm from her grip and you turned away to leave, until you heard her say-

"But I want you! I was wrong, i was stuborn, I want you and I do not wish to see you marry another!" she said, a tear running down her cheek, stopping you dead in your tracks.

You turned back to her, losing your breath, she wanted you? All along she wanted you?

"Are you certian you want me?" you asked her and she nodded, looking back up at you.

"I have loved you ever since you started courting me, but I was too stuborn to admit it, i have only realised it when you started courting another, please, i cant see you marry another." her voice broke as she spoke, her eyes begging and pleading for you.

"I could never imagine choosing another over you, especially now that I know you return my undying love." you said as you bringed her closer, pulling her in a kiss which she gladly returned.

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Day 5: acorn

Masterlist flufftober 🎃

This is kind of flangst if you squint, but the idea came to my mind and I thought it would be really cute. One of my favorites, enjoy, and reblog if you liked it!

You and Spencer walked in silence, with only the sound of the orange leaves crunching under your feet. Autumn had undeniably arrived, and you knew perfectly well that this season was a blessing for many children, providing them with leaves on the ground to play with, warm clothes, and tons of candy. Somehow, it was also your favorite time of the year, as it brought back a few pleasant memories you guarded closely in your heart.

“How did he behave over the weekend?”

“Very well, actually,” he replied, happy that you had finally decided to break the silence. In the distance, you could hear the giggles of a child you both made sure to check on from time to time. “We made pancakes, I took him to the aquarium, we drew a lot, and overall, he didn’t throw any tantrums or anything like that. He even asked me to tuck him in.”

“He always wants that,” you said. “Sometimes he makes me read the books you give him.”

“And he asks me to sing him lullabies you taught him.”

You both fell silent again.

It wasn’t often that your ex-husband’s days off aligned with yours, and the truth was that you both only sought to see each other when strictly necessary. Many times, Jason spent weekends with his father, and when Spencer had the chance, he would take him to school and other activities.

As a father, you couldn’t complain about him. He tried his best after the divorce, as if wanting to make up for something, and you both made sure to keep arguments away from Jason’s ears because the last thing you wanted was for your son to suffer because of it.

It had been somewhat complicated explaining the dynamics of your post-divorce life to Jason, as he didn’t understand why his father, whom he loved so much, had to move to a new apartment. Spencer had tried to be as kind as possible when talking to his son, not wanting him to feel, even for a second, the abandonment Spencer himself had felt from his own father. He called him all the time, bought him an endless number of things, and made sure to have him with him whenever work allowed.

Work, work… that damned work.

“That’s just how he is,” you said simply.

A cold breeze filled the air, and you tucked your hands into your coat pockets, just as your husband did. Once upon a time, you might have held hands to deal with the cold, but now that was unthinkable.

“He also told me he already has a costume for Halloween, right?”

“He wants to be Sherlock Holmes. It was between that and Albert Einstein, but he went with Sherlock because he said his job was similar to his daddy’s.”

Spencer let out a chuckle that was stifled in his throat and looked in the direction of the little boy who was hopping around in the leaves, already too dirty from the nature of the park.

“Do you need money to buy the costume? I could ask JJ where they sell some, or…”

“It’s okay, Reid. I’ll probably make it myself or ask my mom,” you murmured, shrugging. “But he wants you to take him trick-or-treating.”

“I’ll try. But you know with cases… it’s unpredictable.”

“Explain it to him, not me,” you muttered seriously.

Honestly, conversations between the two of you were almost always uncomfortable. Sometimes Spencer tried to find a normal or interesting topic for you, but you rarely carried the conversation forward. Other times, you wished you could ask him about things that really mattered—his mental state, his feelings, or simply what was happening in his life—but you had no idea how to go about it.

That’s why you both preferred to talk only about Jason.

“Look, Mommy!” your son suddenly shouted, throwing a bunch of leaves into the air and laughing when they fell on him.

“How nice, baby,” you responded with feigned excitement, somewhat relieved that your son was having fun.

You both stood there watching the little one, and you could feel your ex-husband’s gaze from the corner of your eye. So many years of knowing him, of loving him, had allowed you to detect when he wanted to say something but didn’t dare. Sometimes, you still felt guilty for being able to read him so easily, and you had no doubt he felt the same, especially with that eidetic memory of his helping him.

“Jason talked to me about Christmas the other day,” he began, seemingly gathering the courage to speak. It had to be something important if he had taken the trouble to bring it up. “Has he mentioned anything to you about the presents he’ll ask Santa for?”

“Not yet, but he’s usually happy with whatever he gets. We can ask him later what he wants or tell him to write a letter for something specific, but I think some of the other gifts could be a chemistry set or art supplies; his teacher says he’s shown a lot of interest in both.”

“I see,” he murmured, nodding slightly. But he didn’t seem satisfied with your answer. “He said something interesting to me the other day. I just wanted to know if he had told you about it already.”

“Maybe if you tell me, I can answer,” you said without looking at him, trying to stay calm.

You had a suspicion of what your son had talked about, but you didn’t want to make a mistake. And Spencer felt exactly the same.

There was silence again for a few minutes, which felt like an eternity, and then he spoke:

“He told me this year he doesn’t want to ask Santa for anything because he wants to save his wish for something special,” he began. He paused for a moment and then continued, “I asked him what it was, and he didn’t want to tell me, so I suggested he could write a letter even though it was still early. He did, and after I put him to bed, I went to read it. There was a drawing and some words written in a messy but legible way. It said his only wish was for his mommy and daddy to be together again.”

By the middle of the conversation, you already knew what it was about. By the end, a few tears had welled up in your eyes.

“I know. He tells me that often,” you confessed, feeling a tightness in your chest. “And I never know what to say.”

“Have you thought about remarrying?” he suddenly asked. It was barely a murmur, but enough for you to turn to him in evident surprise. “I mean… with someone else. Or maybe having a boyfriend?”

“Jason takes up most of my time, and work takes up the rest. I don’t think there’s an opportunity to even consider it,” you said seriously. Since the divorce, neither of you had thought about the possibility of Jason having a stepfather or a stepmother. “What about you?”

“Never. I believe marriage is a pact you make only once in life.”

What was he trying to do? Was he criticizing you? Was he hinting that he saw the possibility of living together again?

“Well, that way Jason won’t be confused. At least until he grows up.”

“Don’t you think he needs a father figure?”

“What do you think you are then?”

“A permanent figure,” he clarified. “And a mother figure at the same time. We worry about ourselves, but we never thought about how this would affect him.”

“Of course I thought about it, Spencer. That’s why I asked for the divorce.”

Low blow. And a painful one.

“Listen, I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and I’m not trying to justify myself. But it’s been two years, and I think I’ve changed enough to prove to you that I’m not a bad father.”

“I don’t need proof of that. I know you’re not,” you said firmly. But when you spoke again, your words were harsher. “But I can’t trust that you’ll be a good husband.”

“I was before.”

“Yes, but then you ended up in prison. And you decided your work was worth more than your family.”

“That’s not true,” he exclaimed, clearly offended. “You and Jason have always been my priority, even now. I live only for you, and in return, you abandoned me when I needed you the most.”

“Spencer, stop blaming me. I had to choose between taking care of you or raising my son. Our son. So I sacrificed my marriage to make the best decision for him. We came second.”

“But divorce doesn’t have to be forever,” he insisted, stepping in front of you to make you look at him. “If you want, we don’t even have to sleep in the same bed. I just… I just want us to live together again. For Jason. I think he deserves to have a complete family because I know how hard it is not to have one, and I don’t want him to go through the same thing.”

You were finally talking more than you had in months. But to be honest, you wished it wasn’t happening. He took one of his hands out of his pocket and reached up to touch your cheek. You were freezing, and it became a fervent desire to lean into you and lose himself in your lips.

“Spencer, don’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I need to think with a clear head. And you’re just clouding my judgment.”

“Why does it have to be a decision you make with a clear head?” he said, sounding hurt. “I’m not a stranger; we once loved each other. I still love you.”

His other hand came up to cup your face, and you placed your hands on his wrists, trying in vain to push him away. You didn’t have the strength, neither physically nor mentally, to do it.

“Spencer, nothing guarantees that getting back together will make us happy.”

“And nothing guarantees that it won’t,” he murmured, pleading. His fingers stroked you gently, and you felt yourself succumbing to temptation.

You were looking into his honey-colored eyes again, and you realized that was one of the things that hadn’t changed despite all the years; they still looked so sweet, so docile toward you. And suddenly, you felt as in love as the first time, and that terrified you. Loving meant the fear of getting hurt again.

You were about to say something when a shout caught your attention, making you think for a second that something had happened to your son. Luckily, it was just him trying to get your attention.

“Come play! Please!” he said politely, with that persuasive little voice he was already learning to use.

“We’re coming, my love.”

The conversation was interrupted by that activity, and although Jason asked why you were crying, you reassured him, blaming the cold in the park. As the minutes passed and you two began to follow your son’s lead, the mood lightened. You even reached a point where you were genuinely having fun, the three of you together, and it was undeniable that your little boy was brimming with happiness.

“A squirrel!” Jason suddenly shouted. He loved animals, so he didn’t hesitate to get closer.

“Careful, honey,” Spencer hurried, always the more fearful of the two of you. “It’s not a good idea to touch squirrels, even if they look cute. They’re wild animals and could bite or scratch you if they get scared. Plus, they can have bugs or diseases.”

“But I want to pet it! Can I, Mommy?”

“When Daddy says no, it’s a no.”

Your son pouted, pretending to be upset, but looking as cute as any 6-year-old. Your ex-husband tried to cheer him up by crouching down to his level.

“Better let’s observe what it’s doing. What do you think it’s looking for?”

“I don’t know.”

“Look, there. In its little hands.”

“An acorn!” he exclaimed happily. The squirrel was picking some off the ground and putting them in its mouth, filling its cheeks. “Why is it doing that?”

“It’s storing food for the winter. It buries them in a safe place, and then when the snow falls, it looks for them to eat.”

“There are more over there!” your son said, pointing with his little finger. “There are three. Do you think those are its mommy and daddy?”

“Maybe, son.”

“They’re like us, right?” he smiled.

You looked away from them because you didn’t want to meet Spencer’s eyes if he turned, and you only heard him laugh.

“Yes, maybe they are.”

Jason watched the animals for a few more minutes, and then he got distracted by a nearby hot chocolate stand. Spencer bought a cup for each of you, which felt wonderful. During the time you all sat on a bench to drink it, with Jason in the middle of both of you, you could sense the furtive glances Spencer gave you, and unwillingly, you did the same toward him.

Jason played for so long that the sky darkened, and he was completely exhausted. By the time you hugged him, ready to head home, he had already fallen fast asleep. And although his presence was evident in theory, you were once again effectively alone with your ex-husband as you approached the car.

He offered to drive to avoid waking your son, and then he opened the passenger door for you, where you settled in, trying to make Jason as comfortable as possible. Halfway through the drive to your apartment, there was an awkward silence that couldn’t even be avoided with music because Spencer had forgotten to fix the stereo.

You struggled to admit it but, to be honest, you hadn’t had such a bad time that afternoon. You were genuinely happy about the family moment you shared, and proof of that was how you clung to who you would always see as your baby, smiling as you watched him sleep so peacefully.

Spencer didn’t expect you to speak during a red light.

“We can meet up to spend Christmas together as a family. Stay in the same apartment, open presents together, and all that,” you said, not looking at him, trying to focus on anything else to avoid him “And it’s too soon to make such a drastic decision, Spencer, like going back to a practically married life. But we can think about it and decide after the new year.”

Despite your indifference, he knew you were being sincere and not just giving him false hope. And he also knew that he would work twice as hard to win back your trust, forgive your mistakes, and, with some luck, recover your love. You hoped you had the strength to forget what had happened and see Spencer for who he was now, not for who he had been.

“I’m glad you said that. And I agree,” was all he replied.

When you got home, you both made sure to leave your son comfortably asleep in bed, and as an extra favor and a show of commitment, you stayed a long time watching him sleep, as if trying to preserve that childish image forever. You didn’t say anything when Spencer wrapped his arms around your shoulders, and he pretended not to notice that you leaned into him, resting your head lightly against his chest.

All you could think was how you hoped time would be kind to you and allow you to eventually rekindle the love you once had and offer it to the beautiful child lying in front of you.

[gh0stsp1d3r]

Hii!! Can you do a Wonka x Male!reader fic where reader owns a toy shop and makes toys? And Willy enters the toy shop and becomes friends with reader and then Willy would visit every now and then, and could it be like a slow burn? Thank you!

Toy shop

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

(should I make a part 2??)

A/N: omg i love this sm its so cute. s/n= shop name, also I have no clue how old noodle is but I’m gonna say like 12 just for the fic.

warnings: lots and lots of pining.. nothing rlly

“Where would you say, is the best place to go for Noodle’s present?” Willy asked Abacus one day after closing. He decided to pack up early to go run some errands, like buying some things for his apartment and also for Noodle.

It was almost Noodle’s birthday, and Willy had been making her her favorite chocolates but he felt like she deserved more. Besides, he had more money now.

“Mm… I passed by this toyshop not so long ago, its on that street somewhere. You can’t miss it.” He pointed, Willy smiled and thanked him, and began to walk over.

Now he wasn’t too sure on what to get a young girl. He hadn’t thought of it until he entered the shop.

You were smiling and helping a family out, pointing to an aisle. Your eyes then landed on the door, an oddly dressed man walked towards you. You smiled and greeted him.

“Hi, welcome to S/N, how can I help you?” You asked him.

He looked at you and smiled back. “Hi, I’m terrible at gift picking, forgive me.” Willy said with a small laugh. “But I was wondering if you could help me try and find a gift for a little girl? A 12 year old girl, to be exact.” He for some reason felt himself getting nervous as he talked, he’s never felt that before.

“No worries, I would love to help.” You said with a smile, you looked to one of your employees and asked for them to fill in for you for just a second.

“Of course, sir.”

“This place is…” Willy started as you walked through the aisles with him.

“Huge? Yeah. It used to be some old restaurant. It took a while for me to fix it up but..” you shrugged.

“You’re the owner?” He asked you, turning his head to you now. You nodded.

“That’s amazing. Oh- I’m Willy, Wonka.” He held his hand out for you to shake, you shook it and just the feeling of your hands made him feel like he was floating.

“Y/n.” You paused, the name sounding familiar.

“Wait, you’re that new chocolate shop owner, right?”

“That’s me.” He said with a grin, tipping his hat.

“That’s amazing, I went actually the other day, and just the outside looks beautiful, and the inside is just.. wow.”

“Really? I’m glad you like it.”

“Yeah… so, uh, what does this girl like?”

“Not too sure. She’s been cooped up in work all her life, really. So I’m not sure she knows..”

“Working at 12?”

“It’s a.. long story. She hasn’t really been able to live a life.” He shrugged.

“Well, I think I have some ideas. We have dolls, tons of teddy bears, a lot of three wheeled bikes have been pretty popular as well. Like this one.” You gestured to one on display,

“Yeah. I think that’s perfect for her. How much is it?”

“5 sovereigns.” You responded, he thought for a moment and pulled out some.

“Only 5?” He was shocked, cheap for such a product.

You shrugged with a small smile. “I like to make sure that every kid has something they love.”

He smiled back at your thoughtfulness. He wished he had met someone like you when he was a kid.

You rang it up, and you both talked for a bit more after.

"It was nice to meet you, Y/n." he said with a smile.

"Nice to meet you as well, Willy."

And he could already tell this was not the last time he would be visiting your shop.

He visited one day after closing, and you had just closed up as well.

“Hey, Y/n!” He called your name, you turned around to see him running over to you.

“Willy?”

“The one and only.” He said with a small smile, and walked next to you. You both talking and laughing for a while, and he had asked to walk you home which you obviously said yes to.

The next time you both saw each other, he came into the store.

“Hey! So, did Noodle like it?” He had told you the name of his friend before.

“Hey! She loved it. She’s still learning, but you know..”

“I’m glad.” You said, looking into his eyes and felt yourself almost getting lost in them.

“What are you here for? Something else?” You questioned.

“Just wanted to talk.” He said, “you know, you’re a fun person to talk to.”

You quirked an eyebrow as you opened a door and motioned for him to come in behind the counter. You walked over to the break room and you both sat down.

“That’s a compliment I’ve never heard before.”

“It’s true.” He said, you laughed and shook your head to yourself.

“What?” He asked, laughing along.

“Nothing, nothing.” You waved it off, and you both smiled at each other for a while before one of your employees came up.

As she approached them, the woman stopped mid-sentence, feeling like she was interrupting something.

“Oh- yes?” You turned to her quickly, snapping out of it and feeling your cheeks heat up. Willy felt the same as his cheeks turned a shade of pink and he looked the other way, trying to hide his large smile.

“There’s a customer asking for you…”

You sighed. “I’ll be right there.”

He watched you, following you as you got up and over to the counter.

“Hello, what seems to be the problem?” You asked.

“They’re wondering if they can get this fixed. I told them we wouldn’t know how-“ your employee started.

The little girl held up a broken wooden toy.

“We can’t afford another one..” her mom started.

“Luckily, I know exactly the solution to your problem.” You said, a small smile on your face as you swiped your hand over it, as it seemingly fixed itself, looking brand new.

The girls eyes widened as you handed it back. She looked up at you.

“Thank you, sir!”

“Of course.“

Willy watched from a distant, a small smile on his face as he watched you interact with the girl and her parents. You were amazing, in his eyes.

You turned around, your employee also seemed shocked at you as you walked back into the room with Willy.

“Well, I’m not even gonna ask how you did that.” Willy started.

“A magician never reveals his secrets.” You held your finger to your lips, you both smiling at each other again.

[sleepysnk]

a/n: hey everyone! i’m so excited to bring this piece to you all. this goes along with my sugar daddy collab! <3 i hope you all enjoy this! 🫶🏻

pairings: kokonoi hajime x fem!reader

warnings: nsfw, smut, sugar daddy!koko, age gap (reader is 21 and koko is 25), oral sex f!receiving, mentions of oral sex m!receiving, unprotected sex, use of pet names (baby, pretty thing, baby girl, good girl, princess), some degradation, light choking, car sex, edging, creampie, possessive behavior, kinda angst (?), very fluffy koko.

synopsis: you’re a college student looking to buy the things you want. koko comes to your aid and is able to grant you every wish you desired. from handbags to makeup that was worth more than anything you owned, he gave you it all. you have a long list of items, but what happens when you ask koko for his debit card and not just one item?

head over heels ft. kokonoi hajime

Your eyes shifted over the many items in your shopping cart. The time displayed on your laptop screen showed that it was nearly one o’clock in the morning. You were fully aware that you should have been peacefully sleeping in your bed by now, but you were far too deep in your shopping to even think about any shut eye. 

Summer break was fast approaching and your university classes were soon coming to a close since the end of the semester was nearing its end. With that idea in mind, you grew sort of lazy and only did so much homework before feeling completely burned out. It was a common occurrence with many students your age. Your brain knew that the end was coming, so it set you into a certain mode where all you wanted to do was shut down and not do anything else. It was difficult, especially for the professors. However, you were passing all of your classes with high A’s and you had no reason to panic. You always kept up with your schoolwork like any proper student would, and now you were celebrating with a little retail therapy.

With break on the horizon, you had the desire to buy new things. Whether it was new clothes, a fresh new set of shoes, or just some makeup, you wanted to splurge a little. It wouldn’t hurt to have some new additions to your closet, right? 

Unfortunately, like many students you attended college with, you were quite broke. You had a part time job, but none of that money was able to go to things you wanted. You often had to save your checks for proper necessities like groceries and gas for your car. Sure, your roommate assisted with food and other things along those lines, but you didn’t want her to bear the brunt of it all. In the end, you were only left with a good one hundred fifty dollars. Sometimes, if you were lucky, you would have close to two hundred, but those weeks were rare. It was difficult to save, but the circumstances were never in your favor. You honestly couldn’t wait to graduate, but that left you with debt that would take you years to pay off. 

Now while that did stop you a majority of the time, you had an alternative option for buying the things you wanted. 

A little over three months ago, you and your friends were all hanging around inside your dorm. Your conversations were casual until your friend, Emma, had suggested downloading this app that involved meeting sugar daddies. At first, you were completely blown away by your friend's statement. You and your friends tried to protest that the app was probably a scam, because you had seen those types of things happen before. You’d offer them your banking information and then all of your funds would be taken from you in the matter of minutes. Plus, there were tons of weird men on those kinds of apps. Sometimes they would completely lie about their status just to receive whatever they wanted. Emma completely shut you and your friends down, and offered proof to help her case. When she brought it to the table, you were astounded. There had been multiple men that had sent her almost a thousand dollars each. She even claimed some didn’t ask for naked photographs, and they just sent it with zero hesitation behind it.

At first, you were stunned. 

Of course, that kind of offer seemed almost unnatural from how Emma made it look. A majority of the time those people were scammers or they wanted some kind of sexual advance for payment. Nowadays you couldn’t trust such a thing, but Emma had the proof. There were men sending her all kinds of money, and to be honest, you wanted in on that. You would have to do some digging is all. 

Once your friends had gone back to their own dorms, you decided to download the app. You chose some nice photos of yourself for your profile and began swiping on the plethora of men on your screen. It was almost like a sugar daddy tinder. For the first few minutes, you were met with lots of older guys. Some of them could have been your fathers age, so that’s why you decided to change your age range. Though, you had lots of discouragement for a while. A majority of the guys were genuine catfishes and you could tell by their profiles. The obvious cropping and misinformation was a clear sign of that. Some of them seemed like genuine creeps too. The one that looked promising almost always had a flaw along with them, and it was becoming quite annoying. How did Emma manage to discover the right men? This had to be pinned against you because all of the sugar daddies on that app were fucking weird. 

To be frank, you had started to believe that it was unlikely you’d find anything promising. The men you did have conversations with were disgusting or it was obvious they were trying to steal your debit card information. 

That ultimately changed when you came across a certain profile that seemed almost too good to be true.

Koko, 25

You were just about to delete the app when you came across the man’s profile. It was already almost two in the morning, but you were enthralled by the man on your screen. He was quite handsome and he seemed to live a very luxurious lifestyle. Your eyes widened when you saw that he was sitting on a Mercedes with many other cars beside it. He was so dreamy with his black and white hair that was dyed in different sections. There was a single earring that hung from his right ear, and there was even a photo of him sticking his tongue out. He owned more than your college tuition and car payment combined. It was hard for you to believe that a man like him was on such an app, but the most shocking thing was that he was only five miles away. Meaning, he was very close to you. It almost seemed like a fucking trap with how perfect it looked on the outside. There was no way this man was real. Behind the screen, there must have been a fifty year old man sitting in his crusty boxers. 

Despite that, you took a risk and swiped right on the man. 

You went to bed and didn’t ponder the app any longer. You assumed that if he was real, he probably wouldn’t bat an eye at you. He’d just keep swiping and leave it as that, right?

Wrong, so very wrong.

The next morning, you awoke and checked your phone as usual. You had notifications from your friends or random emails from your professors, but what you didn’t expect was a message from that app. 

Koko sent you a new message!

Your heart dropped inside your chest when you saw the message for the first time. You thought you were just having a dream, but Koko had actually messaged you. You immediately went to open it and see what he had said. You were honestly expecting one of those usual scam messages that are insanely filled with random emojis, but it was the exact opposite of that.

Koko: hey pretty thing <3 

For a little while, you contemplated replying to him. He could be a catfish for all you knew. He could also be trying to sweet talk you into taking your money, so you had to play it cool. It took you a while to actually trust the man behind the screen, but he eventually shared his phone number and the two of you began to frequently chat throughout the day. Koko had revealed he was a businessman. He never specified what it was, but he informed you that he made lots of money and he wasn’t married so there was nothing to spend it on except for himself. He was about four years older than you. The only reason he joined the app was to find someone to share that cash with, and that’s exactly what the man wanted to do with you. Koko also proved he wasn’t a scammer by any means and he would be willing to buy you whatever you wanted. 

But, at a price.

Koko had proposed a deal for you both. He had no problem being your sugar daddy by any means. He told you that if there was anything you needed from him, he would buy it with no hesitation. However, he wanted something in return. There was a reason you were his sugar baby. 

Koko offered to give you what you wanted after you had sex with him, or gave him something in exchange for your item. He told you that the higher the price of your gift, the higher you would have to work to receive it. It was quite a shock to you to hear such a thing, but you did want a sugar daddy. Koko had even mentioned he would never force you into a situation that you didn’t want, but he wanted you to keep your end of the deal no matter what. At first, you were unsure of it all. He was a handsome guy, he made lots of money, and all you would have to do was fuck him to have anything you so pleased. It was nerve wracking, though. You were going to be intimate with a man who was older than you, and he was going to give you anything you wanted after? There was a lot to ask, but you weren’t sure how to bring it up.

After a long phone call with the man, you had fully agreed to the terms he set for you. Koko had also explained to you that if at any point you would like to terminate it, he had no issue with that. You were relieved to hear such a thing. At least he wasn’t some deeply obsessed man who wouldn’t let you go if you asked.

The very first time you wanted to buy something, you were nervous. You were on Sephora, browsing the different eyeshadow palette’s or lipsticks you thought would fit nice on your skin. You had placed a few items into your cart. Your eyes drifted to the total and your chest practically started hurting the moment you saw it. It came out to $157.67. Part of you wasn’t so sure if you should ask Koko. It was his money, and you would always feel bad whenever any friend or family member spent money on you. You knew you wouldn’t have to give Koko a single cent back, but what would he say? There was a chance he would laugh at you and say no to the offer. It would piss you off, yes, but that thought was lingering in the back of your mind. You hesitated to send him the message with the total, but you eventually pressed send and left your phone to sit and wait. Your heart was racing so fast that you thought you would have had a heart attack back then. 

Within minutes, you received a reply, and his response made shivers ghost down your spine.

Koko: send me a video of you fingering yourself <3 and send me the link afterwards

After a long while of internal panic, you eventually sent Koko the video. There was silence for a little while on his end. You hoped that he didn’t somehow block you or he just lied to get what he wanted. There was a chance Koko had completely set you up, and he was going to steal the video for his own personal benefit. God, you prayed that wasn’t the case. 

Though, after ten minutes, Koko replied with a screenshot of your order. He also praised you for what you had sent him. He claimed you were one of the most beautiful women he had ever laid his eyes upon, and those comments made your cheeks burn with embarrassment. For a man who was only supposed to be your sugar daddy, he seemingly had a lot to say about your appearance. You weren’t complaining about that factor, though. You would have much rather had him commenting on that than being a weird creep asking for more. He was gladly proving himself as a respectable man, and you had gotten a new present out of it. You were very satisfied with that, and all of those worries that had you anxious disappeared once he shared that he had purchased your makeup. 

You frequently sent nudes to Koko for whatever you wanted. You began receiving many gifts and random packages that filled your room quicker than you had expected. It wouldn’t be an overstatement to say that Koko was spoiling you rotten with his money. He didn’t seem to have much of a problem with that either. Any time you would protest, he would shut you up by sending you random payments. You could never argue with him either. He was quite stubborn at times. 

Eventually, there came a point where you both desired to meet one another.

He planned a nice date for you two. He offered to pick you up and he even proposed the idea of taking you shopping afterwards. If you didn’t have extra studying to do, you would have taken the opportunity to go and buy some things with him. However, you declined due to your own personal things. You were very nervous to meet him. This would be the first time you saw him in person, but you had this urge to finally see the man who had been giving you money. You were all over the place when the evening arrived. When he messaged you that he was outside, you almost completely chickened out and told him you didn’t want to anymore. However, with the help of your friends and your roommate, you were able to face Kokonoi Hajime in all of his glory. 

You didn’t expect to see such a fine man, but what you weren’t expecting the most was sleeping with him that night.

The dinner had gone quite well between you both. Koko was polite, handsome, and overall a gentleman with you. The place you went to was divine and you would have never expected you would have eaten at such a great restaurant. 

Things quickly changed once the two of you had gotten into Koko’s expensive BMW. The atmosphere had shifted and there was this ache that formed between your legs. It could have been the aroma of his luxurious cologne, or the way he gripped the steering wheel as he drove. It honestly felt like this man had casted a spell on you. You just couldn’t stop yourself from kissing him at the red light. One thing led to another, and you ended up in Koko’s high rise apartment with your legs thrown over his shoulders. The sex you both indulged in was like no other. Koko wasn’t anything like those lame college guys you hooked up with. He showed you what it was like to actually fuck someone, and it only left you craving more of your sugar daddy. He worked wonders on your body, and he knew exactly where to touch you to have you melting within his grasp. You only craved more of him as the days went on, and eventually, you two started seeing one another more often. 

Whether it was giving him a blowjob for a new pair of heels, or letting him eat your pussy until you made a mess on his face, Koko was intoxicating and you only wanted him at the end of the night. 

You chewed on your bottom lip at Koko’s contact. You had no idea if the man was still awake at this dead hour. However, you decided to snap a photo of your total and message your sugar daddy. If he didn’t see it at that hour, he would probably see it the next morning and decide what to do. 

You: koko, i want these

You: [image]

You clicked your phone off and sat there for a few minutes. There was silence from your phone, so it was just a waiting game. You hoped he was awake but you weren’t forcing a response right away. You were very patient with him. Koko had a busy lifestyle, so it was understandable if he was exhausted after a long day. 

Those thoughts you had were interrupted by the vibration of your cell phone. You reached for it and was surprised to see that Koko had texted you back. 

Koko: for sure baby

Koko: you better let me pick you up 🤍 that price is high 

Your eyes grew wide at his request. It was late, very late. Your roommate was asleep in her bed already and you technically weren’t supposed to be wandering campus at that hour. Sneaking out wouldn’t be that difficult, but knowing how Koko was in bed, you knew you wouldn’t be home the next morning. Usually, you would decline and say no, but you hadn’t seen Koko at all much recently. Not gonna lie, you needed your fix of him and you wanted to see his handsome face. It wasn’t like you could message him randomly to fuck. He probably wasn’t into something like that. 

You: okay

You: atp i deserve your debit card 🙄

You were joking when you sent that reply, but you brushed that aside to go and prepare yourself for what was to come. Koko didn’t live very far from your university. He worked in the city which was not a far drive from campus, but you hardly drove there unless you absolutely had to. Koko also would pick you up. He honestly considered you his little passenger princess because of how often he would come and get you. He always picked you up in a different vehicle, though. Sometimes, he would let you pick the car he would drive you around in. It was such a luxury being Koko’s sugar baby. You couldn’t ask for anyone better.

You paused in your motions when your phone vibrated again. You grabbed it off of your bed and stared at the new text messages Koko had sent to you. 

Koko: my debit card? you really want that baby?

Your eyes widened at his reply. As much as you wanted to say no, having his card on you would give you easier access to getting the things you wanted without having to wait. 

You: i was kidding haha

Koko: i’m serious

Koko: do you want it? i don’t mind handing it over

Shock coursed through your veins at his reply. You said that as a joke, yet he sounded incredibly serious about it. You could never take Koko’s debit card like that. He often told you he had many due to having such an incredible amount of funds, but having one sounded dangerous. Though, it sounded like such a great idea. 

You: really??

Koko: yes princess

Koko: but that’s a serious trade.. if you want it you know you’ll have to pay up.

You knew full well that’s how the deal worked. He wouldn’t give away something unless there was a price at hand, which was understandable. You wondered what that might be. Koko could make sex more intense depending on the price of the item you desired. Usually, anything above two hundred was always going to involve a meet up. Whether it was just oral sex, or actual fucking. You fully assumed now that Koko was going to ask to meet up. You had no issue with that, of course, but the thrill of the situation made your thighs clench together. He was a man full of surprises. He showed you things in sex that no other man was capable of, so this could be a situation you would never forget. 

You began typing a response to the man. It was already nearly two o’clock in the morning, so you had to make a decision quickly. 

You: okay, i want your debit card koko

Sending that message was the reason you were in the situation you found yourself in now. You should have expected Koko to be the person he was, but you hadn’t expected him to pull over into a parking lot after he picked you up. You were in the backseat of his Mercedes with your thighs spread apart and his face deep between them. His tongue was buried into your pretty cunt that he had been wanting to taste for the last two weeks. Fuck, he missed you so much. He never could properly admit it out loud, but Koko wanted to see you more often than he should. You were always engraved in his mind at work. He would often fight with himself on sending you a message about your day, or simply asking what you were up to. He shouldn’t be thinking that way, but you were too difficult to resist.

Your head was lying against the cushion of his seats. Your fingernails tugged and pulled at the strands of Koko’s dual colored hair. One thing about Koko was that his head game was one of the best. He slurped and sucked on your clit with such ease, and it drove you up the wall. There was nobody else that could make you feel the way Koko made you feel. “K-Koko..! Ah.. yes! Right there!” you wiggled your hips upwards to gain more traction against his tongue. You were getting lost within him. All you could think about was him and only him.

The man shifted his eyes up at you. His pupils were slightly dilated from lust, and the pure sight of you made him only more turned on. Koko honestly couldn’t believe that such a fine woman like you ever gave him the time of day. You were perfect in every aspect. He couldn’t ever imagine himself involving another woman, but you. He honestly wondered if you felt the same way about him. In some ways, he hoped that deep down you did. Koko liked to believe that he gave you it all. He spoiled you rotten with his money and gave you all the sex you desired. He didn’t care what it might be. He would do anything for his precious sugar baby. “Yeah..? That feel good, baby girl? Heh.. you always taste as good as you look.” he used his thumb to rub circles on your clit that was swollen. You were a dripping mess when he took your panties off. It was amazing what he could do to you in just a matter of minutes. His presence alone winded you up.

He then attacked your cunt once again. His tongue swiped over your sensitive bud, earning several sharp gasps from your lips. He lapped up any slick that appeared on your pussy. He was practically eating you like you were his last meal. Koko was making you feel like you were on fire. His actions were the very thing igniting that spark within you. He could only smirk at the delightful noises that were slipping from your throat. He could listen to you like a song on repeat. 

Koko’s cock was aching inside his sweatpants. It was taking all of his strength to not completely ravage you, but that need was there. He was begging to be freed from his boxers that felt like they were closing in on him. Koko’s hold on your thighs tightened and his tongue began to move quicker, sending bolts of electricity along your abdomen from the pleasure. Your breathing had become quite heavy and your hold on his hair had tightened. He could tell that you were absolutely enjoying yourself right now. It only stroked that ego he had deep within him. He averted his gaze for a brief moment to stare at your stunning features that were twisted with pleasure. The expressions on your face made him smirk while he ate you out. He couldn’t wait to be inside of that pussy he loved so much. He craved you more than he would like to admit. Sometimes, he would find himself jerking off to your videos or photos you had sent him. His fist never compared to the way your pretty cunt would suck him in.

You were close, so fucking close. Koko could make you cum by just eating you out, which was honestly a talent. The knot inside your belly was tightening with every motion of his tongue. All you sought was that burning desire within yourself. Koko could tell by your body language and your voice that you were about to reach your peak. He wasn’t ready for you to cum yet. He wanted you to be wound up just a bit more before he’d allow that to occur. Plus, you were only ever allowed to cum on his cock.

Koko then retracted himself away from your cunt. A mix of his spit and your slick covered his chin, to which he wiped off with his hand. You whined at the loss of contact, and the denial of your orgasm. He could be so unfair sometimes with you. “Koko.. I need you..” you took his hand into yours, intertwining your fingers together. 

He could see the desperation in your eyes, and in your voice. Koko then kissed your palm and smiled at you with those nice teeth of his. He thought you were so cute like that. All whiny and needy for him to be inside of you. He wasn’t going to let you wait any longer, because as much as it sounded selfish, he wanted to fuck you too. It had been far too long since the man had played with his favorite girl. He missed you more than anything else, and all he wanted was your presence near him. “I’m here, baby.. don’t you worry.” he then leaned down towards your lips, pressing a small kiss onto you. It was sweet, and tender.

Koko pulled away after a few seconds. He then began to untie the loops of his sweatpants, pulling them downward so he could free his cock that had been aching to be freed since he took you into the backseat. Some pre-cum leaked from the tip, which he wiped off with his thumb. He tossed them somewhere in the front seat and plopped down in one of the seats. He motioned for you to come towards him. “Come here..” he patted his lap, eyeing you like you were his prized possession. 

You sat up, maneuvering yourself onto his lap so both of your thighs were on either side of him. Koko’s hands settled on your waist, taking in the touch of your soft skin. He could never get enough of how delicate you felt underneath his fingertips. It was like he was touching flower petals, silky and smooth. You were the prettiest one in the garden though. Koko positioned himself at your soaked entrance. He glided his tip against your folds, causing you to softly moan from the friction. You were so fucking wet. He loved seeing what he was able to do to your body. Seeing you up above him made his heart swell with warmth. You were like a goddess in his hands. He couldn’t believe that someone like you wasn’t in a relationship, or at least talking with someone. You deserved love. 

Could he be the one to grant that?

After some small teasing of your slit, he pushed himself inside your pussy. The two of you let out noises at the contact. Your hands squeezed at Koko’s shoulders, holding onto him as he guided your hips onto his cock. You were so tight. You hugged his dick so well that he could almost moan from how great it was. He never got tired of how your cunt felt. “Koko..! So big.. fuck..” you looked down at his shaft that was filling you up and stretching you to almost your limit. He was big, probably the biggest you’ve ever taken.

Once he was fully bottomed out, he began to thrust into your cunt. The angle was just perfect for him. Your tits were practically in his face, and every little movement caused them to bounce. If he could, he would tape every single moment of your sexual encounters. He could watch them like movies and be able to recall every little detail. Koko groaned at how nicely you sucked his cock in. He held your hips firmly and would occasionally squeeze the plush of your ass. You were just too fucking good. He never was exhausted of fucking your brains out. You were completely in utter bliss. This felt much different than before. You weren’t sure why. You assumed that maybe it was because you were both fucking in his car or maybe because you hadn’t seen Koko in weeks, but that didn’t matter. All you could focus on was the gorgeous man who was buried into your guts right now.

Koko’s pace began to increase. He found it much harder to hold back now. He had these urges that needed to be released, and after all, you were going to earn his debit card once this was all set and done. He wanted to fuck you so good that any time you stared at it you would remember what he made you feel that night. “Fuck.. so good, baby.. takin’ my cock so well. You’re such a good girl..” he gritted his teeth. “You’re my good girl, yeah? Tell me baby..” 

You stared into his lustful eyes. The pleasure in your gut was so good that you were beginning to lose focus on the situation. He was grabbing and touching you in all the right spots that made you like putty in his hands. “Mmph! Yes.. ah! Yes, Koko..” you whined, pressing your forehead against his. 

The heat inside of the car began to gradually increase from your actions. Sweat was clinging to your skin, and some of Koko’s hair was sticking to his forehead. Neither of you gave much care to that fact, because you were too lost in the moment to even think about that. Koko couldn’t help but stare at you. Your pretty face was all contorted with euphoria and your gorgeous body was so smooth within his hands. He couldn’t think of a greater image. He knew the night he fucked you for the first time that he wanted to see you again. He didn’t want someone like you to slip through his fingers, so that’s why he continued to pursue you. There was so much to like about you beyond the sex. Your personality, your smile, that beautiful laugh. He could name so much more, but it’d take him years to finish. He knew it wasn’t right. Thinking of his sugar baby as something more, but he couldn’t help himself. You were a drug he couldn’t stop coming back to.

Koko’s hand went to wrap around your throat, keeping your head in place so you made eye contact with him. He squeezed slightly, blocking some of the air from entering your lungs. Your nails scratched into his skin from the lack of oxygen. “Shit.. so fucking good f’me..” he looked into your cloudy eyes. “Fuck.. you like being my slut..? Whoring yourself out for my money.. fuck, I love spoilin’ you, princess..”

All you could do was nod and let out a small whine. He then released your throat and smiled to himself at your reaction. He knew no matter what you would always love spending his money on shit you wanted. He didn’t care how much it was either. He loved what was to come before the purchases. Though, the after made him even happier. Seeing your smiling face when he buys you gifts makes all the darkness in his day disappear. “K-Koko..” you leaned your head downwards so it was now buried into his shoulder. “Fuck.. love being y-your slut!”

Koko couldn’t hide the smirk that had written itself on his features. Of course you loved it. You always slithered back to him and that’s exactly how he knew. He decided to speed things up and begin fucking you at such a rough pace. His tip rapidly pressed against your g-spot, making white stars appear in your vision from how intense it was. 

It was moment’s like this where Koko didn’t want the night to end. He wished he could fuck you like this all of the time, but that only happened whenever you needed something. That was the deal, after all. He didn’t want to overstep your boundaries and possibly cause problems in your agreement. Koko had his urges, though. He wanted to randomly arrive at your place and just have you all to himself with no sort of item being the sole reason why. It sounded selfish, he was well aware of that, but you were the first girl to ever want to see him for a date rather than just a hookup. Sure, sugar daddies often treated their sugar babies to dates at divine restaurants, but to Koko that was something special. He knew that you probably thought of it as something common, but he never did that with just anyone he came across. Dates, sex, money, all of those things could make Koko easily attached to somebody else. Despite his brain telling him not to, he wanted you. 

He wanted you all to himself. 

He knew thinking such a thing was wrong, but the thought of someone else spoiling you with their money angered him. Seeing your body in all its glory and only toying with you made him want to go after whoever that might be. He was the only one who should be giving you the things you wanted. He should be the only one pounding your pussy until you’re almost squirting onto his cock from how great it is. You were his sugar baby. You shouldn’t rely on any other man but him to give you what you need. 

Koko reached forward to hold your face with his one hand, forcing you to look at him. Your eyes were half-lidded and you had this gorgeous fucked out expression on your features. His eyes flickered from your face then towards those glossy lips. “You’re mine.. right, princess?” No one is better than me..” his voice was deep and sort of hoarse from how much he had been groaning and grunting. 

Your walls quivered around his cock, earning a breathy chuckle from Koko. He didn’t think you would have such a reaction, but it turned him on so much. You liked when Koko was possessive over you. He had no idea, but he was for sure going to use that to his advantage. You were making such a mess on his dick too. “Y-Yes, Koko! All yours.. ah!” you nodded your head vigorously at his question. You only desired more from the man. He was making you feel things that nobody else has ever made you feel. 

Your orgasm was creeping up on you. The pool of heat inside your gut was reaching its boiling point, making you all the more needy for Koko. He could feel your walls clenching and closing around his cock, making his own pleasure increase from how tight you felt. His favorite part was watching you reach your high, because your reactions were just so sexy. He loved making you cum like the little slut you were for him. His hands gripped your hips tightly, allowing him to fuck himself upwards into you at that same pace that would send your mind into a frenzy. He was abusing your g-spot only allowing his name to slip from your plump lips. His balls were smacking against your puffy clit, making all kinds of lewd noises inside of the car.

Koko leaned in and captured your lips onto his. A sloppy kiss erupted between the two of you. He swallowed down any moans that came from your throat. He almost chuckled again when he felt you struggling to kiss him back. You were both chasing your releases, becoming so desperate for one another. Koko almost bit down on your lip from how close he was, but he refrained and pulled away. “Gonna cum..? C’mon, baby, cum on my fucking cock..” he leaned towards your ear, nibbling on your skin. “Shiittt, ‘m gonna cum inside this p-pretty cunt, pretty thing.”

You let out a cry of pleasure as soon as that knot snapped. Your orgasm hit you hard. Your whole body trembled and shook, sending shivers down your spine. Koko squeezed your hips hard enough to leave bruises when he reached his own climax. The way your pussy spasmed and clamped down on him made his high come faster than he had expected. His cum filled your walls, creating a mess that consisted of your arousal and his around his cock to make it seem white. 

You let yourself slump onto his body. The two of you panted, trying to recover from your orgasms. A layer of fog had blanketed the window and both of you were quite messy. Koko rested his arm around your waist, placing his chin atop of your head. In all honesty, he didn’t want to let you go home yet. He wanted to sit there for a few minutes just bathing in your embrace, because he knew the moment you went home he would go back into his empty bed and imagine you lying beside him in his sheets. He also feared possibly staining the seats of his car by pulling out, so he decided to just keep himself inside you for a little while. Neither of you had anywhere to be at that moment. 

There was a comfortable silence that surrounded you. It was broken when Koko cleared his throat and reached for his wallet that was in the pocket of his sweatpants he had discarded earlier. He opened it and removed his debit card from the many spots he had in his wallet. He also reached into it and pulled out several one hundred dollar bills. “This is for you, baby.” he then reached under your shirt and shoved the bills into your bra. He also slid his debit card along with the cash. You were surprised to see him put them there, but it was Koko of all people. He always had the ability to catch you off guard.

You looked down at Koko. You seemed quite tired and he could sense it from your lazy body language. You were so cute when you were sleepy. “Thank you, Koko..” you touched his cheeks with your hands, rubbing your thumbs against his skin. A smile made its way onto your features from his gesture.

He pecked your lips, bringing your body closer to his. Your touch made him melt from how warm it was. “Anything for you..” he buried his face into your neck, inhaling your natural scent. His mind only thought of you for the rest of the evening. He hoped that maybe, just maybe, you would see him as someone more than just your sugar daddy.

[solbaby7]

Hi, can I have an espresso martini, on the rocks? Oh and don't forget to add lime 😋

you guys always give me an inch with this angst shit and i continue to take a mile but the vibe is giving a starfall one night stand😬 bottoms up

[ “kiss me like that again and i’ll start thinking you’re in love with me” + smut/angst + rhysand ]

-> BLURB BAR <-

Perhaps you were a glutton for punishment.

A feign for unfortunate situations where the odds are very obviously stacked against your favor and yet you can't help but lean into the girlish notion that everything will work out if you just believe hard enough.

You can't even count how many times you've wished on these same stars year after year, begging anyone who'll listen to just allow Rhysand to see you. To look your way and perceive more than just a kind person and a loyal friend. You wanted love proclamations, carefully curated poetry professing the same things you were too pussy to admit aloud.

Never once had your prayers been answered before.

It’s foolish to believe they’d be answered now when Rhysand saunters through and graces you with the time of day. Hope sets root in your chest when compliments drip from his tongue like honey, violet eyes roving over your figure with a practiced confidence. A ridiculous amount of money was spent on a Starfall dress and you’re positively preening by time your High Lord has a finger tracing along the bodice. “Wear this for me, did you?”

“No.” Yes.

A wicked smirk plasters itself across his face, handsome features accentuated by the brilliance of the night sky and the shooting stars decorating it—a god among common males. Your mother taught you better than to believe the senseless worship whispered when his mouth is on your neck, tongue tasting at your skin. Teeth biting and bruising in a way that can’t possibly be described as lovemaking with the way Rhysand carelessly tugs at fine fabrics to expose the soft expanse of bare skin underneath. “It certainly feels like you wore it for me. Perhaps only so I could take it off you.”

“Keep that up and your ego may grow bigger than whatever your hiding in your pants.” If that were even possible. You can feel the hard length of him lazily grinding against your belly as his hands explore the new terrain you’ve opened up to him. Nimble fingers expertly undoes your bra to toss it aside, replacing the slightly padded hold with warm palms instead.

Desperate groans tumble past your lips, back arching into his touch, hips rolling into the bulge that fuels the growing fire in your gut. “Take them off me and find out.”

How fucking long had you dreamed of this?

Of Rhysand’s hands sinking down your body, squeezing at the softness of your hips and toying with the dainty straps of your underwear. Blunt nails bite into the curve of your waist, drifting lower and lower until he’s pawing at handfuls of your ass.

Perhaps you show a touch too much of that covetous desire when lips meet, tongues touching and tastes intermingling. A haughty moan is coaxed from you as he takes the lead, chuckling breathlessly to himself when you begin to melt in his grasp. “Keep kissing me like that and I’ll start to think you’re in love with me or something.”

Somewhere deep down you know it’s just a harmless comment and yet the words hit you like a ton of bricks, weighing heavy on your chest and planting a seed of insecurity.

It’s just the way he says it—almost pitiful in its delivery.

Walls begin building its fortifications around your heart, emotions reigning themselves in to be safely tucked back in the conclaves of your ribs as your brain saunters forward with its hand outstretched.

The keys of control is handed over without fuss and your heart doesn’t bother looking back, all too familiar with this silent disappointment as it returns to its rightful place—in your chest and not offered to some pampered High Lord on a silver platter. “Your mouth has better uses than for talking,” Your voice lacks that blind devotion that usually pours free, spilling over and splashing at the shine of Rhysand’s shoes. “Or maybe I’m just giving you too much credit?”

“Too much credit?” The whiplash of your change in body language is obvious across regal features. And so is the interest that glows to life in aubergine irises. His touch is hungrier—filled with the need to please. To feed his ego with the feast of your moans and swallow you up like sweet ambrosia. “Let’s find out.”

You should be ecstatic; vibrating with anticipation when Rhys lifts you in the air like you weigh nothing. Legs are guided to rest over his shoulders, strong arms clamp around the fat of your thighs, fingers digging into the meat of your hips while his face buries itself in your sex.

This should be an everything. A dream come true.

Still, the girlish fantasy of feelings attached to such a pleasure no longer sparks with life.

After all, happy endings only ever exist in fairytales.

[muxshwriting]

the way i loved only you (pt. ii)

Eloise Bridgerton x fem!reader

summary: you never thought you’d find someone again, let alone find someone in a girl from a past you’d left behind || warnings: the lesbians are lesbianing || word count: 1443 || masterlist

part one

"You're writing to her?" Theo asked, outraged.

You didn't see the problem. "Yes? She asked me to, so I will."

"She abandoned you!" He cried. "And Abigail!" Theo was livid. He had cared for you and Abigail when your first love had abandoned you and left you nothing. He never wanted to see it happen to you again and now Eloise had left you in the dark and delivered her words through a letter. A letter. She didn't even have the courage to escape her home and tell you her words to her face.

"She had to." You tried to explain. "You don't understand the Ton Theo, if she came to see us now, she would never be allowed back into society."

"You left society."

You face became serious. "And I would never wish that on another person when they can have a happy and fulfilling life inside society. I did what I thought I had to, sometimes I regret that decision. But I made it, no one made that choice for me."

Months passed, told through letters between friends, letter between confidantes, letters between lovers.

Whereas before, Eloise could be found pouring over copies of Whistledown or nose scrunched into a novel, she now analysed your letters and scrutinised her responses. But Eloise was not the only person you wrote letters to. You also wrote letters to your mother's dearest friend, Lady Agatha Danbury.

It had been going on for years, but not very often. You wrote to comfort Lady Danbury in the knowledge that you were alive and doing well. You told her of Abigail when she was born, of your friendship with Theo and your contentment with your simple life. You wouldn't allow her to see you, nor go and visit her. She knew where you were, knew you were safe and provided for by an allowance your father thought was enough to benefit his spinster daughter who he wanted nothing to do with.

In our father's eyes, you travelled to the countryside and left society in shame that you were not his son. He was happy to send you money and yet otherwise pretend you did not exist. This unlikely and bizarre arrangement benefitted you in ways you couldn't imagine.

Your letters to Lady Danbury were every few months, at most. But when Lady Danbury was at Bridgerton House she spotted a familiar signature scrawled at the bottom of a letter Eloise Bridgerton carried so tenderly.

"Keeping up to date with your correspondence Miss Eloise?"

Eloise jumped, not noticing the dowager behind her. "Lady Danbury. I am simply writing a letter to a... friend."

"A friend." Lady Danbury stated slowly. "A friend called Y/N Y/L/N working in a printing shop in Hampstead."

"Wha- How? How do you know of Y/N?"

"Y/N is the daughter of Lord Harding, silly girl. I made a promise to her mother that I would always look out for her. I would be a terrible godmother if I didn't know where she was."

"Godmother? But Y/N-"

"Never mentioned me? She rarely does. I don't blame her, of course. We haven't seen each other in years."

"But-"

"Now," Lady Danbury lowered herself into a chair next to Eloise. "Would you like to see her?"

Eloise's eyes widened as she took in the words she was hearing. "Yes! Wait- No. I- I can't jeopardise my famil-"

"Don't worry about that." She assured. "It's time I see my goddaughter face to face."

If there was anything Y/N was expecting on a normal day at the printing shop, it wasn't Lady Danbury personally walking through the front doors. And it definitely wasn't the order she gave to arrive at her house the next day for tea. You weren't quite sure what was going on but accepted the older woman's hug and invitation before she was leaving the shop like she had never been there in the first place.

Eloise received the summons by Lady Danbury later that day, requiring her presence for the next day. She spent the rest of the day almost tearing her hair out with nervousness for finally being able to see you again. And, as she often did on restless nights, she found herself rocking on the swing in the garden.

Benedict found her out there when her skin was cool to touch and the dew had began forming on blades of grass.

"Everything alright sister?"

Eloise turned sharply to face him, not expecting the interruption. "Everything's fine."

"Of course." Benedict joined her on his own swing. "Nothing to do with the girl you had me visit last year, the girl you've been writing letters to ever since?"

"Y/N." Your name passed from her lips in a whisper, a word holding such fondness and love that Benedict almost didn't recognise the girl beside him. "I am seeing her tomorrow." She told him like it was a secret, never to be uttered above a murmur.

"You are going to the shop?"

"No." She calmed her brother's racing heart. "Lady Danbury is hosting us."

"Lady Danbury??"

Eloise couldn't hold her laugh at the situation. "Y/N is Lady Danbury's goddaughter, as it would happen. She's the forgotten daughter of Lord Harding."

"Lord Harding who sent his daughter abroad after he was given a son?"

"Who's daughter ran away from society when she was seventeen." Eloise corrected. "And she's got a daughter of her own, a beautiful babe called Abigail."

"But you hate babies." Benedict huffed. "And children." He added.

Eloise tipped her head back to the night sky. "Not her."

Benedict realised that the conversation wasn't going to convince Eloise to head inside anytime soon. She was too caught up in her own mind to be persuaded of anything as of now. He stood, wished his sister goodnight and then headed to his own bed, welcoming the warmth of a good fire.

The next day happened all too quickly and not quick enough. Eloise paced in Lady Danbury's living room, waiting for the moment that you would walk through the front door. Lady Danbury had enough sense to leave her alone to her thoughts so that your reunion wouldn't be watched by prying eyes. A quiet knock at the door had Eloise's head snapping towards the noise. The door was pushed ajar as you slipped inside.

In the instance your eyes met hers, the world ceased to spin and all that was wrong in the world was resolved. Your minds went quiet as your only thought became her and hers was only you. The two of you rushed towards each other, crumbling into each others arms. All the emotions of the last months that you had poured into letters now rose to the surface.

"I'm sor-"

The first words from her lips shouldn't be an apology. You stepped into her space and stopped her from talking, pressing your lips against hers. You feel her gasp before sinking into your kiss and reciprocating with double the intensity. Your lungs were screaming for air as you pulled away, never more than an inch from her face as you gasped.

"I love you." You confess.

Eloise's eyelashes flutter slightly. "I love you too."

"I wish I could run away with you." You regret the utterance as soon as you say it, knowing you shouldn't ask her to forsake her life here just for you.

"Yes." Her response is immediate. "Anything. I would do anything and be anything for you. Everything changes when I look at you. It's not gravity holding me down, it's you." She's begging you.

Tears spring. "We can't-" You try and reason.

The door suddenly opened and the two of you sprung apart. Lady Danbury walked in, her cane tapping on the ground.

"That is why I asked you both here. It's more than a simple reunion." She announced. "If you should wish, you could build a life outside of London for both of you, together."

"What about Abigail?" You ask, worried about your daughter.

"She'd come with you, naturally. But you'd both be free to be yourselves, away from society. I'd ensure you'd never have to worry again."

You looked at her in shock. "You would do that for us?"

"I think I owe you for the last three years, no?"

There was a small cottage in the countryside a few hours carriage ride away from London. It was perfect, a simple home where you and Eloise could raise your daughter without fear and without judgement. Lady Danbury ensured Theo could visit you all whenever he liked an he never missed an opportunity to come and see Abigail.

Everyone was happy, everyone was safe. Life was good.

i don't know how to end things

taglist: @baylegend6 @forever-paramore28

[dvilkings]

how i would write and wish the rest of the bridgerton show would go (following the books but putting the spin onto things as the show has done): includes spoilers!!!

s3 p2 ~ colin and penelope

colin and penelope are engaged, announcing to her family and his. but eloise, upon finding out, forces pen to tell colin that she is lady whistledown. and she does with much nervous anticipation. maybe after she speaks with colin more about his own writing, encouraging him to publish his work. colin’s reaction to her being LW is angry of course — though not like he was when he said he would “ruin” lady whistledown's life upon finding out who the writer is. he is angry at pen for putting herself in danger of getting caught, and the backlash she will undoubtedly face if the ton finds her out.

this will lead into colin demanding pen retire. though she does not want to, for colin she would. she makes her last entry and calls it quits and continues on with her engagement to colin in a peaceful manner...

(this is where part of me wants a different outcome. that pen does not retire as LW and instead keeps writing, after convincing colin why she must, and his anger and jealousy turns to acceptance. i want this outcome a little more because it will keep the mystery of lady whistledown with the show for longer. and keeps a good narrative for the story to move -- and it would be so sad to not have julie andrew's wonderful voice taking us through regency london. the only downside i see to this is the rest of the seasons, which are notably not in the limelight of society and the eyes of the ton like the previous ones are. they are more on the outskirts and the quiet life of the regency era. and thus, LW would not be able to see much of the goings on for the rest of them. and besides, now that penelope will be married, and to the man of her dreams no less, she doesn't much have need for LW anymore. that comfort and wall will be replaced with colin and her future with him. so there are definitely pluses and minuses for each)

during this time, the queen will announce a bounty put on LW: whoever comes forth and exposes LW’s identity will receive a certain amount of money. this spurs cressida to make her announcement that she is LW, thinking the money could help her and her family so she is not forced into an arranged marriage with someone older who she will not like at all. except pen will not let cressida be known as LW and essentially take her work. so she posts her one last issue of exposing cressida, and then she is confronted in her home where cress explains how she knows pen is LW, and pen's slip up.

since finding out pen is LW, colin has been very tense with her, realizing that he is more jealous than anything, that she had a purpose for so long and her writing while gossip filled, was truly very good. and something he thought he could never live up to. but pen keeps insisting he is wonderful.

pen goes to colin, where he sets up his elaborate scheme with anthony, just like in the books, and announces to the entire ton that pen is LW at the last ball of the season, coincidentally, a masquerade ball. which is also where benedict meets the mysterious lady in silver, aka, sophie (opting not to use her last name in case it is changed due to any ethnicity changes the show (hopefully) makes for her), and he falls in love with her at first sight, having their private moment and kiss before she flees from the scene, most likely when colin makes his big announcement and uses it as a quick escape.

upon the ton accepting pen as LW is how s3 will close, leading to benophie's story for s4

s4 ~ benedict and sophie

time jump ~2 years into the future… benedict is stuck and fixated on his lady in silver, trying to find her after 2 years of searching, to no avail. not knowing her name, what she looks like as she was wearing a mask, knowing nothing about her but for her smile and mysteriousness and the raw need of needing her as his wife.

we will receive flashbacks throughout of sophie’s life with the cowpers, living with araminta as a mother and cressida as a sister. her biological father, lord cowper, not seeing her as anything more than a burden, and lady cowper suggesting she’d make a much better use as a mere servant. i believe at the end of s3/into the time jump, lord cowper will pass and araminta and cressida will be left with close to nothing, especially after cress' embarrassment after trying to announce herself as LW. she is a spinster at this point, something nobody ever thought would happen to her. but we see sophie and cressida as children, growing up as friends and the closest thing to sisters either will have (going off of cressida mentioning to eloise in s3p1 that she had a friend when she was young). but the cowper's dislike and disdain for sophie is clear from her childhood.

when the last ball of the season, the masquerade happens (s3ep8), the other servants helped sophie be able to attend for one night, but she is later on discovered by the cowper’s for her efforts and casted out. forced to find work wherever she can.

this lands her in a wealthy home as a servant. she meets benedict here when he attends a party at the home, where he saves her from the hands of her master’s son with filthy intents to touch her. and he takes her to the closest and safest place he can think of: the mondrichs, parents to the new and young lord kent.

they stay there with them for some time while sophie decides what to do with herself, where we see some of the mondrich's life and their son being raised to be the next lord kent as he is older now (early teenhood i believe?). benedict has no idea that sophie is his lady in silver, and sophie is beginning to fall in love despite her never being able to be with ben. and eventually, ben starts to feel the same, and while he wants to have her as his mistress, knowing she wouldn’t be a fit wife as she is a servant, and he still must marry a woman of proper lineage — she refuses, as she does not want to end up like her mother and have a child who would live just as she has. so he takes her to his mother’s new home (having moved out of the bridgerton house as kanthony have started their own family) as that is the only place he can take her where she will still be close to him — where she becomes a lady’s maid for the girls, eloise and hyacinth.

things follow closely here from the books for benophie. meanwhile, francesca has married john sometime during the time jump (presumably right after s3 ends, close behind polin) and travel between scotland and london. now we are introduced and see some of michael and his life and maybe longing for frannie. this season john most likely dies and we see the beginning of frannie and michael’s story start to unfold, both dealing with the heartbreaking loss. she finds she is pregnant with john's child, and thus the wait happens to find out if her child is a boy, and whether michael will become the new lord of kilmartin or not. but she has a miscarriage, and michael is to become the new lord of kilmartin. and frannie needs him in her time of mourning and strife, but he cannot see her and instead leaves for india, most likely because he had a recent discussion with kate about all the places to see and visit.

and with sophie living with violet and the girls, she grows close to them all, even eloise who has been writing letters mysteriously. sophie is the one to notice this and inquire more about it but eloise is still stubborn and tight lipped.

some time goes by until sophie is spending time with kanthony's children who are visiting violet's home and hyacinth, leading to the scene with her wearing a cloth to cover her eyes and leaving only her mouth exposed. benedict walks in and immediately knows that sophie is his lady in silver. they discuss, they argue, sophie reveals who she is and how she is the illegitimate daughter of the late lord cowper. and she runs away. right into lady cowper discovering sophie is working for the bridgertons and she schemes to get sophie thrown in jail for stealing immediately. which leads then to benedict and violet saving her from being hanged, even cressida becoming involved (sophie was her very first friend, and close to a sister, her character being a perfect mixture of rosamund and posy from the books). and benedict announces their engagement, unbeknownst to anyone, even sophie, right there.

upon finding out ben is now engaged, and the recent letter from phillip (her mysterious letter writing receiver) that she has still yet to respond to, she decides to run away to him, to see if she too could find happiness as half of her siblings have found thus far.

the season ends with sophie and ben engaged and planning to live in the country where it is quiet and out of society's prying eyes, frannie being a widow and losing her unborn baby while michael has offed to india, and eloise running away to sir phillip crane.

s5 ~ eloise and phillip

marina crane has died a year or two earlier (while she thought her life could be full of happiness and contentment with her children, she did not find it to be good enough to keep on going), and her children are older now, but phillip does not know how to act as their father as they are out of control and he did not have good parentage growing up. he has been writing back and forth with eloise bridgerton for some time since his wife’s death and he would like to meet her in hopes she will be a good wife and mother to his children, something he is desperate for. and then eloise shows up without notice.

they discuss, and go on as planned, where they can see if each of them will make an acceptable spouse. both finding the other to be not quite what they imagined after a year or two of corresponding. the children do not want eloise there, and in fact continue to lay traps and prank her in hope to make her want to leave - though she is not deterred. and after a particularly nasty prank that leaves eloise harmed, things change from there between all of them.

her family still has no idea where she is, even after many days away. but it doesn't matter to eloise, because during her stay with phillip and his children, she is growing attached and she believes she could be falling in love with them all. but one night post the accident of the children causing her harm, ending up with a bruise on her face, all of her brothers appear one night to confront the situation and phillip, questioning what has been happening. and though nothing that would warrant scandal, it will still come upon them since eloise ran away, without a word and without a chaperone (despite her being a spinster) and thus leads to a proper courting. eloise is taken to stay with benedict and sophie, living not too far away out in the country and phillip goes back and forth to court her every day as such is proper, while they are chaperoned by eloise's family.

we also see some of francesca living with being a widow, and missing john more than anything. her struggle with wanting a child but not being ready to find a new husband. and missing michael since he has left to india with a list of places to visit from kate. she is still lady kilmartin while michael is away, and taking care of the estate in scotland, which keeps her mind and body busy enough to not stop and think about her grief for too long during the day. and hyacinth is now out in society still, on her first or second year out and while she is from the bridgerton clan (notorious for their attractiveness and looks and popularity), her prospects dwindle due to her "un-lady like" personality that seems to scare off any man. seeing her try to navigate the marriage mart differently than her sisters, with her mischeviousness and stubbornness and unable to stop talking and picking arguments. then seeing a little bit of gregory as an eligible bachelor now, still young and nowhere near wanting a bride, but wanting to find a purpose for himself like all his siblings have seemed to have done. and also seeing a glimpse into kanthony's marriage family life. kanthony as the viscount and viscountess with their children, maybe one or two by this point. and hopefully some sight into daphne and simon (hopefully have recasting simon by this point, sad to say) and their numerous children. hopefully polin will have a child by now, or at least pregnant.

when eloise runs away to benophie's home after one of her fights with phillip, instead of their son getting sick, i believe it will be sophie, in the middle of her being pregnant - benedict is distraught and when phillip shows up to find eloise, seeing a tenderhearted moment of his understanding on the fear of losing a wife and child all in one. and later phillip explains to eloise how marina died in fact compared to the story they were telling the public, and how they will get married. that eloise is not leaving, contradictory to phillip's fears. they find their way into loving each other as they continue to court more, with the chaperone of anthony, and their dynamic as a family - how eloise comes to love phillip's children despite them not being his, and not being hers. and how they decide to navigate parenthood together, promising that they are not their parents or the ones that came before them, and will be better.

[this is where my thoughts will become shorter just because we don't have much build up from the show, aka the supporting characters and what not, so my thoughts will most likely be just as they are in the books, hoping the show will try to stick closely to them]

s6 ~ francesca and michael

michael decides to return to london after some years in india. and francesca has decided to rejoin society, end her mourning, and find a new husband so she may have children of her own. and while michael did run away after becoming the new lord of kilmartin, and needing space from francesca, he is still very much in love with her, unbeknownst to her. but we see more of this, of the heartache he has put himself through over the years. watching his cousin and the woman he loves be happy together, and then the one thing that was keeping him from her happened, and he couldn't let himself take that happiness.

watching frannie and michael reunite, and try to find their friendship again, to michael learning frannie wants children and will be looking for a husband this season, to frannie seeing michael as more than just the friend/cousin he once was to her when john was still alive, to michael making frannie jealous with his numerable admirers.

more people start to notice michael's feelings for frannie, most notably violet and colin (surprisingly). and even seeing their new closeness. as frannie frequently visits michael's home to care for him and his malaria he contracted in india. their relationship becomes more than friendship as francesca battles with her feelings towards michael and not knowing what to do with them. and after finally giving in to their desires, francesca flees back to scotland in the middle of the season. leaving michael confused and unknowing of what to do. colin is the one to spur him into action, telling him it is better to try for his happiness than to not, just as he had with penelope. i can imagine even violet will mention such the same to frannie as well, violet finding another happiness in marcus anderson, lady danbury's brother. that it is okay for frannie to go after her own happiness in someone else, that she can still honor her late husband, and live for him even after he is gone.

and so michael pursues frannie, running after her to scotland. accepting that john would have wanted him to be happy, even if it was with frannie. and francesca continues to battle with herself over her feelings for michael. and after finding her in the kilmartin estate, confronting one another, and asking frannie to marry him, her not knowing an answer, to getting stuck walking through the hillsides in the rain, fleeing to the land's caretakers old home, sleeping together again - michael almost wanting to prove to frannie she could get pregnant after her insecurities that she could not. to frannie speaking with john's grave and accepting that this is what john would have wanted for her too.

and so she says yes to michael, she will marry him.

the rest of the married bridgertons have started their families, found happiness with their spouses, something that drove francesca into jealousy because why not her. (i don't have much idea to what the lives of the supporting characters and other bridgertons will look like at this point as we don't see much of them in the books and the timeline is all off now, so this is what i have thus far) :

violet will have found happiness with marcus (i hope so at least)

kanthony will have several children by now, and have long completely taken over the bridgerton name and kate becoming a wonderful viscountess. anthony is proving to be an excellent father, something he seemed to have been born to do, showing so with his siblings in earlier seasons

daphne and simon are still happy and with several children of their own

polin are as in love as ever, with a child or two now, having spent some of their early life traveling together. and colin having a book published and working on more.

benophie are happy in the country, living the quiet life with a child or two, living close to

philloise and keeping a good friendship between their families, as eloise and sophie grew close when she was el's lady's maid. and their children while years apart, grow up together as friends as well.

[hyacinth's story will follow and then gregory's, though i have yet to finish hyacinth's story and have not started gregory's. i will update the thread once i have done so!!!]

s7 ~ hyacinth and gareth

tbd

s8 ~ gregory and lucy

tbd

[ihopesocomic]

Something I would just really want to thank you guys for is how much stuff I learned about mental health and the lgbtq community, despite being a part of it I still have so much to learn

One thing I learned that really stuck out to me and may have rewired my brain was the talk about ASPD back when Bright was being accused of having a mental illness. Let me tell you, it gave me the ICK when someone mentioned that–like yeah I didn't really think about that when I encounter similarly mannered characters with Bright, and it's immediately understandable if it was explained otherwise in the characters backstory, but OH MY GOSH please do not just throw that accusation around 😭

Anyway back to my point, I never heard that the term ps*cho was a very harmful and albiest term for people with ASPD (a condition I also wasn't aware of) and ever since then I would flinch when someone gets described as such.

As a follow up question, how do you guys come to know so many things about these topics? Like where do you even begin with your research, because I would love to read on stuff on my own (as a way to also understand myself cuz I MIGHT be autistic, not fully claiming it yet, just a suspicion for now) to better understand others too.

This is one if the things that made me fall in love with the comic and it's world building, I learned so much from it. And to the point I get shocked when I get hit with reality cuz in IHS the world is free of homophobia and the likes so I'm like "Huh, but isn't that normal?" Lol

Thank you so much, anon. It's always great when we hear that we've helped people understand things better.

To be honest, just... listening to people when they try and educate you is a major component to learning about things. Not everybody is out to get you when they correct you on things. We didn't know much about ASPD until a few years ago when somebody brought up that we misused the word 'psychopath' in the MP analysis when, in reality, we should've expanded on the fact that it was the creator's bad attempt at depicting such a thing.

I think another thing that helps is when you have something that the media deems pretty adjacent to ASPD - schizophrenia - you realise that the same stereotypes and misconceptions apply to your condition too, even though they're totally different. That's just schizophrenia and personality disorders in general, though. People will confuse them until the end of time.

Outlets like Reddit are also very handy if you wish to have first-hand experiences for what you're looking into too. Mainly because there are tons of communities for people with various conditions where they come together and discuss their day-to-day lives. And professionals in mental health will also sometimes contribute to such communities as well.

There are things about my own condition that I didn't even know before I started this comic. Things such as negative vs. positive symptoms, which I automatically assumed was media-based and was not an actual medical definition: I'm an idiot sometimes. lol

As for your feelings that you may be autistic: self diagnosis is certainly a thing and very valid. An autism diagnosis is very hard to get as an adult, especially if you do not have the money for it. I thankfully live in a country with free healthcare but even then, I had to spend the ages between 16-24 having to convince people that I was autistic.

And I only got put on a waiting list - where you have to wait for years to get a diagnosis - after I had a mental breakdown and got my schizophrenia diagnosis. You literally have to jump through hoops to get the answers you want, sometimes at the cost of your own well being (i.e. it took me breaking literal bones to get my dyspraxia diagnosis oof). So, anybody who says you're not entitled to have your self diagnosis either had an unusually easy ride through the system or they don't know the system as well as they claim they do.

So, if this is something you feel quite strongly about, I recommend doing what I did when I found a character in a show that was autistic and related to her hardcore and just do research and see how much of it applies to you. A lot of the time, you just need to look around for five minutes to tick a lot of boxes in your head and come up with the diagnosis you need.

But anyway, sorry this got super lengthy, anon. Thank you for the sweet ask and we hope you enjoy the comic as it continues. c: - RJ

[astrophileous]

THE COUNTDOWN MASTERLIST

The above image does not indicate the reader's physical appearance.

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Female Reader

Synopsis: When Derek is forced to go undercover for a case, he doesn't expect to encounter the past that has haunted him for years.

Status: On-Going

Warning(s): 18+ NSFW MATERIALS (minors be advised, dni), alternating timeline, non-linear plot, implied age gap (undefined), canon typical violence, past trauma/abuse, child abuse, undercover life, organized crime, use of narcotics, illegal arms trade, human trafficking, mentions/talks of serial killers, physical violence, physical torture, violence against children, cursing and other foul language, use of firearms, use of explosives, talks of reproducing, etc. (please see each individual part for the complete list of warnings)

Criminal Minds Masterlist

Author's Note: I'm literally SO EXCITED for this one, you have no idea (I even made a special banner and divider for the story, look!!!). It's gonna be a short one, only four parts, but I hope you'd still like it. There's a snippet of the first part below to keep yourself on your toes 👀 (special thanks to @avis-writeshq for being the best and most supportive beta ever). Your support means tons to me, so plsss don't forget to LIKE+COMMENT+REBLOG

♤ One || I'm in It for the Money ♤

When Derek is forced to go undercover for a case, he doesn't expect to encounter the past that has haunted him for years.

♡ Two || Let's Put On a Show ♡

As his undercover life begins, Derek finds that the biggest enemies he has to battle are past memories and resurfaced feelings.

◇ Three || You Need to Get Ready ◇

To be added.

♧ Four || It's Time to Go ♧

To be added.

The scene below is a sneak peek from the first part of The Countdown.

You waited until Temples was out of earshot before addressing Derek, "Fancy seeing you here."

"Yeah. I wish I could say the same."

You smiled somewhat sadly at the taste of venom in Derek's voice. The damp and moldy air in the forgotten factory stood no chance against the sting of Derek's cold glare. It was easy for your body to ignore the chill, pretending that Derek's indifference didn't bite through your skin. Your heart, though, was a different story.

"I didn't know it was gonna be you," was what you ended up saying after a full minute of silence. "When Jimmy told me that someone would be coming in, he didn't tell me anything else. I wasn't expecting you."

It was the most sincere string of words you had uttered since showing up in front of him. For a moment, something twitched in his chest, and Derek loathed the fact that you still had that effect on him even after years had passed. But as frustrating as it was, Derek didn't think petty would suit him well as a middle name, so he swallowed the bitter lump and forced his shoulders to relax.

"So, this is where you've been all this time? Living as a ghost?"

Taglist is open. Leave a comment or send me an ask to be added!

Taglist: @citrusiove @kneelforloki @prentissim @bunbunbl0gs @lubunnii @alluring-andrayav @sammyrenae68 @burkayyy @mggspo

[wolven91]

thinking about a watchmaker in your universe. someone who's job was to repair small, extremely intricate devices that are redundant in space. i mean, why would you spend so much time and effort finding and fixing a watch when an ai can do it without having to be wound every couple weeks and fixed every couple months? even if you do want a watch you can just get a digital one that has more functions and is more durable at a fraction of the price and effort.

so they change jobs. maybe to a more useful one that still uses their skills in manipulating small, intricate parts. maybe repairing and replacing the small chips and processors in those very same electronics that replaced those mechanical watches they love so much.

their job pays very well, and eventually they save up quite a bit of money. they're constantly checking all sorts of places, both legal and illegal, for anything from earth. when suddenly they find it. a collection of old and "new" earth watches. most of them are broken or damaged, but with a reference now they can start making new parts. they start selling the refurbished watches to earth collectors, and they eventually make enough to start their own small business making brand new designs. it doesn't make a ton of money, but they can finally return to the thing they love, making and fixing watches.

Time Flys

Edward sighed quietly as he sat on the raised balcony, overlooking the promenade. The general buzz of the hustle and bustle was too far below him to be of bother to the human. 

It was a nice view, the end of the street opened up into the park area where rolling hills and artificial waterfalls gave an idealist appearance. Glancing up, he could see the edge of the Mar'Tor's Vow nebula slowly moving over head through the great glass dome.

The old man ached for home and sighed again.

He was getting on in his years now and he was struck with a wave of nostalgia. How he wished he could see Orion's belt from the place he remembered it from. He didn't want to *go* see Orion's Belt, he wanted to see it as he remembered it. Clear as a bell, the three bright dots that sat in the centre of a familiar constellation. His chest hurt from the memory.

"Hey Old Dog." Rumbled a firm voice from behind him, causing his heart to jump just a little. Quiet little blighter.

"Morning Young Pup." Edward growled back with a smirk on his face. The human leaned back in his chair and let his head roll to the side as the canid stalked around the seat to plonk herself down on the chair to his side.

"You're early for your ass wuppin'?" Edward teased, referencing how Snarlp had yet to beat him at Chess since he had taught her the rules. The canid solider wasn't dumb, she had even taught him a few things about bold tactics and how it was indeed possible to punch through a strong defence to put a king on the backfoot, but the canid had yet to figure out subtle tactics.

"I *will* beat you old timer. You've been winning by the fur on your nose these last few games... But... No, that can wait. I got something you might like." The youthful creature grumbled back, her firm tone like gravel in a blender. She wasn't aggressive with Edwards, well she was, but not physically. She was challenging him for his 'place' in the friendship between the two of them. Just as Edward liked it.

Honestly, it was just good fun for him, definitely kept his mind sharp. It felt like he was a captain of a pirate ship; the moment he let his guard down one of his 'salty dogs' would bloodily tear control of his ship from him; it was life and death that he kept his wits. Edwards sighed and smiled, all metaphorically of cause. Snarlp would see her arm torn off before she laid a single claw on the human, Edward knew this.

"You know I'm not interested in that VR nonsense. It was fad before and it's a fad now." He dismissed, more alarmed that Snarlp could be back on the track of trying to have Edward 'try new things'. Edward was happy in his rut. He didn't *like* the new things.

As a human, Edward was old fashioned. Back home, he'd been a watch maker. He could recall off the top of his head how to pull apart and putback together any number of models of watch. At night, to get to sleep, he would mentally repair or build watches for himself.

But alas, amongst the stars, there was no need or desire for mechanical watches. The aliens all wanted digital, with bells and whistles that no clockwork watch could match. Not to mention that Edward couldn't get the printer to work the way he wanted. He needed a scan of some kind. Snarlp had been the one to explain it to him which had broken his heart somewhat. Still, she'd meant well, and it just solidified that his generation, the first off planet, were the last humans that remembered Earth as it was. They were dying out.

"It's not 'Virtual Reality' Old Dog, it's Simulated Environments, and *no*, I'm not showing you something new. I know it'll have your heart attack you or something." The canid growled as she picked up the pitcher of water that sat on the table between them, causing the ice and strange purple fruit that floated in it to 'clink' against the glass. Edward watched her as she sniffed at it, sneered, then downed a large gulpful, straight from the pitcher. There goes having another glass of that any time soon.

Well... He'd need to go get another one anyway.

"It better be nearby. It's forty-two steps to the toilet and that's a 'tactical' decision for me these days. I ain't going on an adventure." Edward warned. The walking stick next to his chair alleviated the pains in his hips, but it still hurt something rotten. He had sworn the canid to secrecy once she had figured out that he was in agony when he walked. Edward wasn't about to let no scientist near him again. He'd let them sire countless bastards from his genetics once already and he wasn't about to let them do it a second time.

Poor things didn't even know he was their father.

"Good thing I brought it here then, isn't it?" Snarlp replied, bouncing up and out of the chair with the energy of a creature that had yet to wake up four times in one night.

"But you couldn't bring it out here?" Edward questioned, tilting his head, and narrowing his eyes.

"By the *moons* do you want your surprise or not?!" Snarlp snapped. Putting her hands on her hips and leaning forward with a glare. Despite being decades younger than him, the aura she had was of Edward's disapproving mother. The tone still made his blood run cold.

"Ugh, fine. You're getting me one of those 'bear wraps' if this isn't worth it." Edwards grumbled as he leant forward and snatched up his stick in a huff. Snarlp stepped forward and ignored the slap across her hands from Edwards as he tried to bat her away. She persisted in helping and he was grateful. Her strength was mighty, pulling him up as if he were no more than a small bag of spuds, yet she was gentle enough that not even her razor-sharp claws broke the man's thin paper-like skin.

"Firstly, it's worth it. Secondly, you *know* you're not allowed the ursidain food anymore. It'll... it's not good for you." Snarlp retorted as Edward found his feet and began to shuffle towards the building, warming up his limbs again so he could move with purpose. They both ignored the genuine tone of fear in her words.

"Bah. You sound like that fool of a guardian." He dismissed, referencing the diminutive taurian the government had assigned him. Edward had no time for that wet blanket. Everything was sniffles and 'eh hem' before the little bull spoke. It drove Edward up the wall.

"Yeah well, they've basically made me your guardian now." Snarlp admitted, much to Edwards shock, but secret elation.

"Now I *know* they want me to keel over. You might win a game then as well." He jabbed, grinning as they got to the door into the apartment.

"I could just throw you over that balcony you know?"Snarlp suggested, briefly thrusting a thumb back the way they came. Edward just chuckled while Snarlp grinned a mouth full of sharp teeth.

The pair entered Edward's apartment and in the centre was his dining table. A huge monstrosity, but necessary in the event an ursidain came to dinner. On top of the giant table however was something new. A massive metal crate. It looked like a chest, oblong in shape with a hinged lid. The red light over the lock on one side showed that it was currently sealed.

"I knew it. You don't see old folk around here because you liquidise them!" Edward hollered, trying to pull his arm from the canid's grip while staring at the box that could hold him within with ease. He didn't actually believe that, but had joked with Snarlp that, that was what they did with people who got too old and just mixed them into the food.

"Will you shut it; you stale fart! *You* don't see old people because *they* are smart and move to paradise worlds! Nobody would want you but me anyway! Now, sit down and let me open this thing!" Snarlp ordered, easily handling his little outburst and guided him to the head of the table. To be fair to the young canid, she had always had him sit in a chair of importance or priority.

He settled and eyed the box, unsure what she was about to spring on him. Snarlp ignored Edward for the moment and placed her thumb against the biometrics. The man paid attention to what was on the side of the crate, a stencilled version of the Galactic Community Administration office emblem. This crate was their property, something they loathed to give up. Edward eyed it wearily.

"I saw this going very differently, do you know how hard it was to convince them to give me this? I expected you to be like a pup getting into their first bit of trouble."

"Can you blame me? You've stuck me into firefights before!"

"In a simulated environment! You were perfectly safe."

"I got shot!"

"You should have kept your head down instead of shouting at me, not my fault a separatist sniper got you."

The lock clicked, silencing them both and the crate hissed as the lid popped open a fraction. Hermetically sealed? Whatever was inside had been sat in stasis. Snarlp lifted the lid and carefully made sure it didn't damage the table once it was fully open. From Edward's position, he couldn't see what was inside, but Snarlp reached in and gently, so gently that Edward had never seen her move with such care, plucked an item from within.

At first, the old man didn't know what he was looking at, so cradled as it was in her palms as she brought it to Edward. But as she carefully placed it on the polished table in front of him, he was struck with understanding.

The man's heartbeat in his chest at a pace not felt since he was 'shot'.

It was a small, cheap, watch.

With shaking hands, he picked it up and turned it over, to inspect the clock face. The second hand ticked by the battery life saved thanks to the stasis. According to the hands, it was 10:32.

While he was merely staring at the device, shocked to his core for seeing such an old artifact of Earth, a second one was placed in front of him by Snarlp, who merely reached for a third out of the box.

Edward stood sharply, sending the chair toppling off the raised platform that meant Edward could sit at the table at the same height as any guest. Snarlp's head whipped round but froze, her hand inches above the crate, holding a digital watch. It showed 12:32 AM.

"How many..." Edward began, unable to ask.

"Loads. It's what intake collected from whoever was rescued." The canid replied softly, aware of the significance.

"What?"

"When you humans were rescued, there wasn't really a plan. Intake was messy. Some counters collected personal items, some didn't. This box is full of those timekeepers you were on about." She explained, plucking two more from the box. It was full to the brim with watches. Just watches.

"H-how... I thought they'd all be...?"

"Sold? Yeah, most human stuff was. But this crate was labelled wrong. They think it was because whoever labelled it was going to sell it on, but chances were they were arrested before they got a chance." The canid knocked a knuckle against the foreign text on the side, next to the stencil. "Storage folk saw the label, did their job correctly and bam. A veritable Lithium Mine left to gather dust."

"I take it we can't keep these." Edward asked, turning over the first watch in his hands. Cheap, but now priceless. It did its job nearly forty years later, ticking away.

"We can't no." Snarlp agreed, and Edward's heart fell. "You can though." She finished, deliberately taking a second to complete her sentence. Edward snapped his head back up at the now grinning canid.

"You're a cruel bitch! What are you saying?!"

"These are yours now. Government can't sell them and returning human artifacts to a human is a easy win in the PR department."

Edward had to brush his sleeve against the corners of his eyes whilst sniffing, but the canid didn't jab him for his display.

"Saying they're yours... You could... scan one?" Snarlp suggested. "I can think of more than a few people on this station alone that would want a mechanical watch. You could teach me to repair them too... You said you would..."

Edward sighed and smiled, he felt like he had a purpose again.

"They're not anything fancy... you can't get VR from them like your consoles."

"Oh my *moons*!! It's not 'VR' and you can't get SE from *just* a console!"

[twopoppies]

I don't really have any active fandom friends anymore so I don't have anyone to share this thought with, but you're always so fair and lovely to Harry that it feels kinda. safe and appropriate to message you about it?

Maybe I'm spoiled because I mainly follow og larries here as far as I'm aware, and I feel like larries or at least the ones I've surrounded myself with have like... an extra layer of protection and respect towards Lou and Harry? So I was a bit shocked when I just stumbled upon a Harrie (update?) blog that posts all kinds of pictures and videos of him looking terribly unhappy, and since they don't post anything but these pics others have taken of him, like, there's no personality to the blog, no throwbacks even, it kinda allows you to just see this... disturbing timeline of Harry throughout the years just looking unhappy as all hell.

It's such a contrast because I mainly watch tour things or old clips and pics or the occasional new content where he doesn't look absolutely miserable. Anyway, seeing picture after picture of him looking tired, just exhausted, is so sad. I don't know. The world really isn't fair to him, he gets so much shit when really he's the sweetest little pea, he's radient, he's caring, he's the epitome of sunshine when he's surrounded by people with good intentions, his best at heart.

I don't know, I guess I've build this bubble around him and Louis and I so easily forget that there's the, well, public. The fame. The fans that care more for a picture than his comfort. The public at large with this perception of him as some sex symbol rockstar they can fancy and fantasize about. Like. It's sobering and horrible? The difference between Harry Styles™ and Harry feels so stark and. Yeah. Guess I'm just saying I wish he had it easier, had it fair. Not that his life is just a horrible tragedy, course not, but just. Wish it wasn't this harsh is all

Hi, darling. I can only comment generally without knowing the blog or what they post. But I think it's pretty easy to pick and choose photos where someone only looks happy or only looks tired and miserable, you know? I know there's a group of people who are convinced Jeff/Irving are torturing him and overworking him, so every time Harry looks less than ecstatic, they're handwringing. And context matters, too. What is he doing in the photos? Where is he going? Who is he with? What's happening behind the scenes? etc etc. Besides that, I agree with you that his life isn't always sunshine and roses. You can have all the money and fame in the world and still not always be happy. I'm sure his job can be very stressful; he's juggling a lot of things, tons of people's livelihoods rely on him, he's in the public eye constantly, and fans demand engagement from him constantly...it's probably tiring at times. And, yeah, thinking about the idea that tens of thousands of people are fantasizing about you and judging you and gossiping about you is bizarre and uncomfortable. I couldn't be famous for any amount of money. But my impression of him is that he is, overall, a happy person. And I think he knows how incredibly privileged and lucky he is to have the life he has. And I think he's learned how to protect himself from the weird/upsetting/dangerous parts of his career. At least as much as one can.

I don't know if that helps at all. I worry about him at times, too. But I think he has a good group around him who love him for real and not just for what he can do for them.

[genericpuff]

Hey puff you have a day job right? How do you keep the motivation/discipline to create comics regularly and be an active blogger?

I've mentioned this a few times before and generally try to be as transparent as possible as I can when it comes to my real life circumstances and how they affect - and allow - my comic production schedule, because when it comes right down to it, I'm in a very privileged position that allows me certain luxuries that other comic creators simply don't have. And I don't really like the idea of someone seeing what I do and like... thinking that's a bar they have to meet because it often comes with a complete misinterpretation of what circumstances I'm in that may vary extremely from their own. Y'all are seeing a tip of a very large iceberg, y'know?

I do have a day job, I work as a tattoo artist, however my schedule is very much my own to control and while that comes with a lot of pressure to find my own work, it also allows for me to have flexibility with my other projects. That said, I'm only able to be that flexible because when I'm making money, I'm making really decent money (and with far less hours than I would need to make my living if I was working in retail still) and when I'm not, I've got a partner who makes a more consistent living that may have a much smaller hourly than what I get hourly for tattooing, but is still a decent hourly compared to minimum wage that he's able to handle bills while I get back on my feet (and there have been tons of times where our situations have been reversed, where I've been making good money and he's been needing extra help; it's honestly kind of some cosmic prank, the two of us can never seem to be doing financially well at the same time lmao)

Right now, we're just starting to come out of a slow winter season, so I've had more time than ever to sink into my personal projects. It does get stressful at times having such inconsistent payouts through the ebbs and flows of tattooing, but I try to be at peace with those slow seasons because it allows me to work on my passion projects. Especially when I've got not one, not two, but three separate tattoo expos (so far) to do this summer, which is gonna be (hopefully) three separate 30 hour weekends of straight tattooing haha And while I say hopefully (because yay good money and good publicity!) it's also gonna be extremely stressful and exhausting so I'm trying not to take the slower season for granted, because I know I'll be wishing for it again when I'm in the midst of it. And that's not even including all the other events I have booked this year that are purely for vendoring (so unrelated to tattooing) that are also gonna be crazy.

That said, the past couple years have felt particularly hard, but I know it's because we're unfortunately in the midst of a massive economic recession that has seen people spending less on luxury things - and that includes tattoos. But my comics and other personal projects give me a great outlet for my ideas and thoughts, and while projects like Rekindled are unfortunately not something I feel comfortable monetizing, they are ultimately projects that bring me a lot of joy and I think that's the best I can ask for nowadays while I wait in the hopes that things get better soon in the real world.

As for getting that motivation/discipline, I don't really have one solid answer. The reality is just that I've been doing this for a long, long time, so not drawing comics feels like not doing any other established good habit. What you may feel wondering how I manage to work so long on a single comic project with such hefty updates is undoubtedly pretty close to what I feel wondering how the fuck people manage to go to the gym LOL It's taken a lot of routine building and repetition and it's as natural as breathing to me at this point, I just feel gross when I've gone a day without drawing comics in some form. That routine has helped me get better and faster at creating as well. When I started my first long-form comic series, I started out just drawing a page a day - often taking 3-4 weeks to complete a chapter - and by the time it was done 7 years later, I was putting out a chapter a week. And then that turned into 60-90 panels of full color art a week... nah, I don't recommend anyone do that on their own like I did, I can't even do that anymore and looking back I'm in shock how I was able to pull that off, and not in an amazed "why can't I do that anymore, I used to be so awesome!" way, but more in a "oh god why did I do that to myself, no wonder I'm burnt out" way.

And honestly that's kind of the reality of it, while I'm putting out consistent updates of Rekindled that are in full color and are - in my opinion - some of the best work I've put out in the last few years, I'm also struggling to rebuild habits with my original project because I've simply fallen out of practice. I'm one person responsible for all the work I've put out, and yet when it comes to looking at the projects I still have sitting on the backburner, I still feel a sort of internalized version of Person A looking at Person B and asking "how the hell do you do it???" just like you're asking me now lol I'm working on it though and trying to get back to it little by little, day by day. On rare occasions I actually get something productive done and make progress LOL

That said, none of it has come without consequences. I've spent the majority of my artistic journey working on the same project which I feel has severely stunted my outreach and set me back in my growth; after all, we only ever see and judge the merit of webcomic projects based on the 1% of people who got lucky and achieved some semblance of fame and recognition out of it, you never see the people who have spent years still picking away at the same project from the bottom with little to show for it besides the work that's going unseen. I've also already got way more back and hip pain than one should have by their late 20's and that's definitely a consequence of spending so many hours every single day working on comics. As much as I've built some great habits that have made my comics and art better, I've also ended up with some very bad ones that a lot of people don't see because all they see is the results from the good ones. So that's something that I hope I can at least warn people about, even as a reminder to stand up and stretch every now and then and get their proper amount of sleep LMAO

And then when it comes to the blogging... I'm an AuDHD person with a lot to say and I can type at 137/wpm. So that's all there is to that ♡( ◡‿◡ )

[schweizercomics]

(turns out McKay's DIDN'T have Mad Max cars lying in wait on the last leg of the trip to protect their prize money by taking out anyone who made it that far)

The family and I did the Ultimate McKay's Road Trip Challenge and had a great time. McKays had clearly prepared, and probably to the capacity that they could've, but the sheer volume of folks participating far outstripped what they were capable of handling according to their original plan and they were working like crazy to pivot as conditions changed from store to store, lines and parking situations became unsafe or unmanageable, and supplies ran out (ink for the stamps, paper for the forms, etc, in addition to the prizes).

Despite all this, and despite the chaos, almost everyone we encountered (and we encountered a lot of folks) was excited to be there, grateful for the store's generosity, and, for those that made it all the way across, elated to have completed it and received the wildly large grand prize.

The grand prize, BTW, was $800 in credit to be used at any of the stores. I've bought hundreds of books over the years from McKays, mostly priced between 75 cents and four dollars; At their prices, $800 is essentially a lifetime supply of used books.

And they didn't have a cap on the number of winners; if you did it, you got it.

The challenge was to celebrate their 50th anniversary, and I hope that the logistical challenges, which were many & staggering (though far moreso for the stores than the participants, save for the heat for those susceptible to it), don't cast a negative light on a branch of bookstores for whom so many thousands and thousands of people have such enthusiasm and affection as to prompt their participation in a 500+ mile cannonball run in the middle of a july worksweek.

I'm sure that the customers wish some things had been done differently and planned for differently, but not nearly as much as do the McKays folks. But this wasn't a Fyre Festival, this was a Woodstock.

Anyway, it was stressful at times, and we fretted over the possibility of its completion, but McKays bent over backwards to try and make it to where if folks were committed to making the whole trek, they got the whole prize. They made tons of allowances as situations changed.

If you haven't been to a McKays, and are ever passing along I-40, I hope that the mania surrounding this event gives makes clear how beloved this shop is to folks who live in Tennessee and North Carolina, and outsiders (like me) who pass, and stop at, it frequently, and makes you wanna see why.

It's the best used bookstore I've ever been to (no individual McKay's store has the scale and scope that does Powell's or the Strand, but their prices are DRAMATICALLY lower than either). I'm incredibly grateful for their prompting and hosting such a great adventure with my fellow readers, and their generosity in prizes in celebration of fifty years.

[comma-tose]

I wish Sasha had gotten better treatment from Debt or Alive. I spoke a bit about it in a previous post but she is just not developed at all and I have a LOT of problems with how the book portrays her. Which is a shame because I really loved her in Tales, she was a really great character. There ARE positives to her in the book but this is purely me talking about what I don't like about how she's portrayed here, so while there are good points I won't be speaking about them here.

(if you liked this book that's completely valid! These are just my personal opinions on somethings I didn't like in the book)

Spoiler warning for Debt or Alive obviously.

To put it into perspective, Sasha in Tales was someone out of her element like the rest of the group, she wasn't great with tech (although not completely clueless), she loved guns, she wanted to get off of Pandora, she cared about Fiona's safety, and she canonically liked Rhys. She had moments where she was pessimistic and occasionally didn't acknowledge Fiona's feelings (about the situation with Felix) but overall she was VERY close with Fiona and cared about her, wanting them both to be safe and okay. She was great and I love her.

Now... In Debt or Alive unfortunately that is not the case. That's not to say that she doesn't care at all about Fiona or Rhys, but the way the book portrays her is very strange. It tends to either give her very negative traits without ever acknowledging them as bad, or it treats her as a plot device that magically provides the way for the story to progress, either just handing her wins without earning them or giving her abilities that she shouldn't have, often at the expense of minimising what makes other characters special.

To be more specific let me start with the ability to hack that the book gives her. Now in Tales she showed no knowledge of it, quite the opposite actually, and the book randomly says that Rhys has taught her a "ton of stuff" about hacking, although when this happened it's not quite clear considering the book makes it clear that they leave Pandora fairly quickly after getting out of the vault... So I guess she just got the skill in a few weeks???

The first thing she hacks, which is also the first mention of her having any ability to hack ever, is the debt cuffs. The cuffs that billionaires have funded being made, the cuffs that they would have poured so much money into to make sure that no one ever got away without paying their debts. She just hacks into it and dismantles it. It's not a perfect job because the cuff does explode afterwards but she is able to remove it in time, You'd think if it was that easy you'd have a legion of people doing back-alley deals to remove them and the majority of the planet wouldn't be wearing them. So clearly this is something difficult to do, especially with the amount of money the billionaires of Eden 5 would have poured into it.

The other thing she hacks is a sec-bot. One of Countless Holloway's robotic security guards. In the middle of combat Sasha just leaps onto its back and just hacks into it, changing its allegiances almost instantly and rewiring it to be on their side now.

Now bear in mind we have seen robots change allegiance before in tales from the borderlands when Rhys takes control of the drones.

But in that case not only had Rhys been a programmer for YEARS, he still had to have help from Jack's AI to take control of them. So if Rhys with years of experience needs help to take control of robots, then in no way should Sasha be able to randomly take control of them from what could only be at MOST a few weeks of practice.

Now not quite hacking but along the lines of machinery the other thing Sasha does is repair Deathtrap. There is no explanation given as to how she does this. Deathtrap is barely functional at the time and has absolutely no vision, no ocular beam, no hover function, barely functioning audio sensors, and no digistruct claws. That's the list of damages explicitly given in the book.

Bearing in mind that this is a robot built by a literal genius, one who was essentially a technological prodigy, a robot so impressive that the Holloway estate ripped off the plans for it to built a robot army to keep the entire planet of Eden 5 in check. And Sasha just fixes it, the only time before this that Sasha had shown ANY kind of mechanical skills was when she was fixing the caravan during the intro song to Episode 3 of tales from the borderlands and even then she was being walked through the repairs by Scooter.

Sasha should not be just given abilities that are randomly as good, if not better than other characters whose whole thing was being REALLY good at that in particular. Gaige was a mechanical genius that's how she built Deathtrap after years of learning. Rhys was a good programmer who still needed help to perform complicated hacks. It doesn't make sense for someone with basically no experience to suddenly be even half as good as them at it. It also diminishes Sasha as a character because they don't give her something SHE IS uniquely good at. It essentially turns her into a ripoff version of those two ability wise, and she deserves far better than that.

Now then, personality wise... I wish I didn't have negative things to say here, really I do. This isn't to say that EVERY interaction or scene with her is bad, but the ones that are just really stand out.

To start with, Sasha gets mad at Fiona trying to restrict what she does which is completely reasonable for Sasha to be mad about, BUT then in response to being mad at Fiona she goes and does something insanely stupid. Something that doesn't just endanger her but also risks Fiona's life and it's not even done for good reason.

She frees Gaige.

Gaige who had EVERY reason to hold a grudge against her and Fiona and to go hunt them down and murder them, who also reiterated her hatred for Sasha and Fiona. Oh and she shows her the shard that can bring people back from the dead. So not only does she free someone who has every reason to go murder her and her sister, but she also just dangles the cure to death in front of a vault hunter who could just kill her and take it.

She also frees her knowing that she murdered Countess Holloway's daughter. Now we as the audience know that that was an accident, we know that Gaige didn't mean to and that Marcie had been awful to her for years, but Sasha does not. She saw the video of Marcie being killed and all she knows is that Deathtrap killed Marcie, and yet she still frees her. Because she's bored and mad at Fiona.

They could've had her find out the real circumstances behind Marcie's death and then impulsively go free Gaige, but no, she is just bored and angry at Fiona so she goes and frees Gaige so that she can go vault hunting with her.

This being insanely stupid is never addressed. Nor is the idiocy of Sasha literally KILLING HERSELF to prove that the crystal works to Gaige. Just a note, this is also all done after Gaige reiterates her hatred for Sasha and Fiona, and Sasha never tries to get Gaige to agree to y'know not hunt her sister down.

Couple of quick problems here as well regarding Sasha's personality in the book.

-When Fiona starts to free people from the debt cuffs she literally just stands there in bewilderment and says "what are you doing???" And only after Fiona starts freeing more does she join in

- throughout the book Sasha refuses to commit to Rhys, refusing to make the relationship serious, and doesn't say anything more than "I need more time" despite noting how upset it's making Rhys. It takes Fiona calling her out (which also mentions that she has a habit of just ghosting her boyfriends???), for her to actually make a decision. And even then SHE doesn't tell Rhys that she's decided to move the relationship forward and it's Fiona who has to tell him.

-Sasha also says nothing when Fiona is literally compared to Handsome Jack. Like she's literally standing next to them, replies to something Fiona says but she says NOTHING when Fiona is compared to Jack. Doesn't even reassure her that it's not true. (Tales Sasha would've thrown hands with the guy who said that, there is NO way she would let that slide).

Now for my final point, because god knows I've been yapping for a while, Sasha is just HANDED accomplishments and the most glaring example of this is when she goes vault hunting with Gaige, which is literally a weekend trip.

First Gaige just knows where a vault is, then, after she goes there with Gaige, there are NO guardians defending the vault because they were all somehow killed by a few bandits.

When they get through the bandits they get to the entry to the vault. Now what do you need to open a vault??? If you said a vault key then... INCORRECT! It turns out that they just don't even need one because the name of the monster IS the key... Somehow. But regardless they open the vault.

And how do they kill this vault monster you ask? How does Sasha finally, in her own words, be even and equal with Fiona? Well they shove a grenade in the monster's eye and it dies. Then they just go home.

This book does not let Sasha earn anything, which is a shame because her character in Tales was great and had a LOT of potential. But here she doesn't grow as a person, and for some reason has developed some really bad traits after Tales with no explanation, and doesn't bother to give her her own thing that made her unique, instead settling on just giving her other peoples. She would essentially be at the exact same point in her character, if not better, if this book just didn't exist at all, because it just loops back around to her and Fiona broke and vault hunting again.

Sasha deserved SO much better.