#it's the similar beats okay
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phi bbs + nong msp (2/?)
"You're avoiding the topic." | "Mr. Gun, you haven't answered my question"ep 10 | ep 8
#surprise it's a series!#it's mostly an excuse for me to talk about bbs more#parallels my beloved#my school president#my school president series#bad buddy#bad buddy series#bad buddy brain rot#kk.gifs#phi bbs and nong msp#phi bbs nong msp#it's the similar beats okay#they keep getting to me#lin called it an homage before and that was accurate but it keeps becoming MORE SO and i can't take it#pdribs#< tagging you because you calling it an homage is what broke me to this extent#so suffer w me
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I really love the detail of garrus always being that one step behind shepard... and not in the literal "got your back" sense (though of course I love that too), but in the figurative "just short of crossing the finish line" sense. like ME1: when you meet garrus, he's already been on this saren case, he's just been unable to get anyone to take it seriously. in walks shepard, and shepard is able to do all these things garrus couldn't quite do: becomes spectre, is taken (somewhat) seriously, goes on galaxy-wide chase to take down saren. wins. garrus has always been trying to do "right" in a way that makes sense, and here's this human that just already knows how and DOES IT.
then ME2, garrus is still on this quest to do right. he manages to put together a team, but ultimately, this enterprise is a failure too. he just can't quite make it. but that's when shepard arrives, picks garrus up, and in one day defeats the gang leaders that garrus has been after for MONTHS. also important to note without getting into the whole religious symbolism of it: his team is 11 people, with garrus himself being the 12th. by the end of ME2, shepard successfully accomplishes their goal with a team of 12 total. 12 followers. 12 disciples. I'm not getting into it. but. just look at those numbers. you know what I'm trying to say.
by ME3, garrus DOES make it over this finish line. he DOES get his promotion and people respecting him. but it sucks. after years of striving to get to the finish line, to cross that mountain, he gets there and it's so much pressure. but the wonderful thing is, now instead of being a step behind, he's shoulder-to-shoulder with shepard, which allows for the open communication and support that the two of them get to have because he GETS IT. he was watching the whole time from behind. he's seen all the highs, and the lows, and now in the low low, he knows what it's LIKE. it's like this wonderful full circle moment where he's able to support the person he's looked up to for so long.
#i don't know how to end this post but that's fine right#mass effect#garrus vakarian#sorry I know I'm beating someone's dead horse out there but I gotta speak my thoughts like I'm in a book club with myself okay#trying to write generally and not she/her shepard is so hard LMFAO#long post#for no reason whatsoever#i know you could argue against the 12 thing because zaeed and kasumi were dlc but so was javik and that choice stinks of EA#so I’m sure zaeed and kasumi were in a similar vein#also I played legendary edition so that doesn’t matter to me#mostthoughts
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Some images of my Tsu plush from Creep Cat Toy Co. !!! I love her lots one of my fav plushes <3 !! Her glow spots are glow-in-the-dark fabric ,, its super neat !
#+ the blue duck was in the box w/ the plush when I got it :)#I just refer to her as tsunami but most folks call her Tide instead pfhb lots of my friends know Tide more then the canon wof charcaters its#real sweet <3#also unintentionally posed the first two like the post I just rbed apologies for that lmao#also pardon the beat-up state of my Lost Heir book .. its my v first wof book so its seen some things .. The Dragonet Prophesy is in worse#shape unfortunately </3#hopefully this isn’t an annoying post at all I really . like plushes!! and wanna share em !! so I hope thats okay !!!#also these guys are still for sale ! I got lucky & got a discount on her but I still had to save up for a while <//3 the company that sells#em made dragons similar to all the DoD!#either way v cool . plush moment ! yeah !#plush#my glow-in-the-dark picture was hell to get …. I took it while on a roadtrip in a tunnel lmao
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I feel like... Perhaps... Arguing that transphobia is defined by murder and that anything other than murder doesn't even matter... May NOT be conducive to fighting for trans rights.
Like... people want the right to exist as they are. They want to have access to hrt and surgeries and prosthetics. People want access to clothes that fit them and reflect how they want to be seen. People want access to medical care (eg. Getting screened and treated for sex-based forms of cancer can be impossible if you have the "wrong" sex listed to receive those tests). People want to be respected and treated well. People want to not be sexually assaulted and beaten and abused. People want to have access to housing and jobs, and the protection to not lose those things for being trans. People want access to shelters for homeless people or survivors of domestic abuse. People want name changes.
Acting like all of those things don't matter because at least they weren't murderered by an individual (and instead die of suicide or state violence, or survive and suffer) isn't okay.
#'hey people are forcibly detransitioning you and raping and beating you and you lost your job and are going to be homeless and#probably die of infection from being stabbed for trying to go to the bathroom. but at least you arent part of a demographic that has a#higher murder victim rate! shhh just ignore that we dont actually have data on the murder rate of your group.'#do ppl like. forget state based violence exists. and that thats most violence minorities face.#idk man im just. mad about people on here acting like youre only oppressed if youre a perisex trans woman who was AMAB.#cause i exist at the intersection of multiple minorities and being told hey u experience violence but at least you wont be murdered by an#individual feels like a slap in the face.#like it doesnt matter if i have to mask my neurodivergent behaviour bc if people see they could assume im on drugs and call the police and#i could potentially be really hurt but not die but hey at least i wont die just be horrifically traumatized by police brutality!#there are millions of people with mental illnesses similar to my own around the world who are institutionalized and forcibly medicated or#living on the streets or dependant on horrifically abusive caregivers#but hey at least they arent being murdered!#like. the way the transphobia discussion on tumblr rn discusses (and doesnt discuss) race and ability and class and health makes me#feel very invisible.#like if people had to choose who to believe about my experiences between listening to me a black/mixed mentally ill maybe disabled (used to#be disabled) hella nd trans nonbinary person#or listen to a white middle class trans woman's take on my experiences that theyd choose her. its such a weird weird microcosm.#its like a monkeys paw like people are finally listening to trans fems and finally recognising the violence they experience and finally#actually caring about them but for some reason decide that in order to do that its necessary to throw every other minority under the bus#like fuck man have you seen how 'anti transandrophobia truthers' discuss race? its NOT okay#we all matter we all are so similar and are part of the same groups and same communities we need to stick together#stop using trans fems as a battering ram to hurt other minorities challenge#cause like. yes its some trans fems. but its mostly NOT?#like its non trans fems telling other non trans fems that they arent oppressed#and even when many trans fems are like what the fuck dude of course other trans ppl matter whats wrong with you#the group of like 80% non trans fems 20% trans fems are like 'hmm if you are defending other trans people you must not really be trans fem'#like. denying trans fems their identity bc they disagree with them?? dude someone doesnt stop being a trans fem cause they recognise#people other than trans fems matter and exist#its just all so WEIRD its a weird little tumblr microcosm#i wanna stress. for those of you who dont have access to other lgbtq+ communities. how much it seems to be primarily a tumblr thing. to
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To also go off of the point about cop!akihiko being annoying to me I gotta say that Akihiko as a character is very hit or miss with me because of how different adaptations of p3 will subtly alter his character. I felt like in portable with the femc route he comes off best, he’s a bit of a hothead with an obsession with fighting, but he’s overcompensating his strength so he doesn’t feel as weak and helpless as he’s been in many situations. He defines strength in a very literal sense, being physically strong and using that to protect others, but he’s lacking in emotional strength as a result. And in particular in this version I think he’s portrayed as a bit more goofy and sweet in a sense. He cares deeply for you as a friend and leader but he struggles with finding the words to describe how he feels. Hes kinda naive and gullible and has trouble noticing his surroundings. He has no clue what he’s doing but his heart is in the right place. I think he just comes off much more human and he has flaws, many many flaws, and that makes him all the more lovable
But then in other adaptations and spinoffs it’s like. They look at him through some hetero male bullshit filter and seem to view him as a lot more admirable and cool. Like in p3 dancing, theres literally an event where he’s talking with Junpei and Minato and they’re gushing about how perfect Akihiko is and how he doesn’t seem to have ANY flaws at all. And it becomes clear his inability to flirt with women just gets added as a way to make sure you, the Straight Male Player, don’t get insecure being next to such Perfection because at the end of the day, you’re still more charming and sexy than he will ever be because you’re better. It’s a “flaw” that’s only there to shield a sensitive male ego. And then in arena I mean, come on. He’s overly beefy and is a damn cop and travels the world and loves Protein™️ it’s his whole personality and he’s so clearly meant to be seen as hot but like, he’s just some shitty hetero male fantasy. Hes what the writers deem to be a Perfect Man that every guy wishes he could be, but don’t worry he’s still bad with women so you don’t gotta worry about him stealing your property- I mean, girlfriend!
And though I’ve not played reload and don’t really plan to anytime soon, judging from his social episodes they seem to have a similar problem. Akihiko comes off as a lot less approachable, like the year age gap is just too much of a barrier to get to know him properly. And he doesn’t have that dorky sweetness he has in portable, he’s just that perfect hetero male fantasy guy and don’t you fucking worry- he still has his protein powder with him
#persona#persona 3#akihiko sanada#does this make sense like i feel like im going crazy cuz okay#akihiko isnt in my top 3 characters (shinji ken and fuuka lol) but hes teetering on the edge hes number 4!#i really loved him in portable i worked my ass off to get his social link i had him on my team the entire game#i found him really cute and endearing and hilarious but then like i played dancing#and er well i never got all his events cuz im bad at that game but i noticed that subtle difference#and then watching reload clips i felt it again i was like good god i hate this guy i wanna beat him up#which is so weird since hes one of my favorite characters so like what the hell is that#but i really think it is just this filter hes being presented with like when hes supposed to be a love interest#hes allowed to be more flawed and adorably pathetic and sensitive#like hes the one who wants to do the protecting but you end up protecting him you know?#so yeah this is what i mean when i say that if any straight person looks at akihiko sanada i will melt them with lasers#my mitsuru rant is a lot longer but its very similar just that ughh disgusting filter shes presented through I HATE IT I HATE IT SO MUCH#i think having kotone as the protagonist fixes most problems so i consider that the solution lol but i think Aki not getting a real social#link is a major disservice and creates that super annoying upperclassman divide that makes him unapproachable and idolized
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i feel like almost everything in utena has sort of already been extensively discussed in the last two (almost three) decades of utena's existence (not that there aren't new interpretations to be made, there always are) besides black rose arc (mikage+mamiya+tokiko). which is why they're so much fun to think about. i think the need to read between the lines makes it unfortunately easy to misunderstand or look past obvious stuff if you don't pay attention, but to me it's always been really obvious that mikage's arc is a literal representation of the erasure of queerness in ohtori (society?) by akio/everything he represents. and that's so fucking tragic! nemuro was never able to find a name for his desires. he lived and died as a puppet in the shadows.
#rgu#i think sadly that trigger warning list that people always passed around kind of stunted discussion bc of the assumptions it made#like. i think its okay to say that mikage/nemuro was always in love with mamiya and not tokiko#not that its impossible to interpret him as bisexual (similar to how people see utena as bisexual)#but his love for mamiya is what changed his life (same for utena/her meeting anthy)#one scene i never see people bring up is how#at one point mikage says that attaining eternity wouldn't even make 'her' happy#and then akio questions '''her'' you say?'#the only reason mikage thinks attaining eternity wouldnt even make 'her' i.e 'tokiko' happy is because he just had a conversation#with mamiya where he admitted the whole endeavor was making him unhappy#if anything it would have made tokiko happy to attain eternity and forever preserve her brother like a dead flower#which is what akio does with anthy! so fucked!#ALSO another thing#is that mikage sees utena as tokiko returned#just like how utena meets 'dios' - returned as akio#he claims he will finally beat tokiko - in this place (the dueling arena) - which is kind of foreshadowing utena fighting akio?????#anthy!mamiya says to mikage in the black rose musical:#“You can’t win against her. You will eternally lose to my sister who dwells in your memories.”#or “You will never beat my sister; who dwells in your memories.” in the nozomient translation#which makes so much sense because anthy couldn't believe utena could win against akio either#god i could literally keep going#by read between the lines i mean like how akio actively tries to lie to the audience by saying things like#'mamiya was created for you out of your lingering attachment to tokiko'#of course nemuro/mikage being gay isn't all there is to him bc like always everything in utena has 1000 layers#really love the general theme of becoming static and unchanged forever bc of our attachment to nostalgia/memories/eternity#(re: can't grow up)#tho in mikages case he is literally just a ghost summoned by akio. which the utena sega saturn vn confirms#also definitely people talk about black rose arc (i.e me right now) but i feel like the majority of the fandom kind of side steps it#on tumblr specifically at least?? im not on the fansite forums or discord#rgu meta
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#don't ask me how i ended up here ('was it a fic‚ K?' 'yes‚ obviously it was a fic.') but#this poem somehow makes me think of plath's 'black rook in rainy weather'#not because the poems are at all similar but because it's that feeling of a dull ruinous landscape suddenly illuminated#like. the sestet here is SO workmanlike and wearisome#yesterday. grey. eyes. wise. 'one that is ever kind' right okay you're making up the syllable count. etc etc#and then—'the fire that stirs about her‚ when she stirs‚ / burns but more clearly.'#'o she had not these ways / when all the wild summer was in her gaze.'#like. my god.#the sudden wild white beating of swan's wings. the lift of my battered enraptured heart.#anyway. 'did you know famous poet william butler yeats had his moments‚ actually??' you heard it here extremely not first.#(i mean. that said—imagine writing a poem that ascribed any qualities to a woman you couldn't reassign to a horse.)#(like. billy boy. do you love anything about her but her beauty and her ~spirit~. is she intelligent. is she funny. is she fiercely moral.)#(ah well.)#poetry#w.b. yeats
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i don’t know if i’m the first to come up with this idea but i needed to get this au out of my head
[image id 1: a drawing of all four members of nightcord at 25. they’re all dressed in their casual outfits except for mafuyu who has shorter hair, a dress shirt, and slacks. they’re drawn in a style reminiscent of bocchi the rock!
image id 2: a drawing of all four members of nightcord at 25. they’re all drawings of expressions from the bust up. they’re all in their casual outfits except for mafuyu who has shorter hair and a dress shirt. the drawings are mimicking bocchi the rock!’s art style. there are chibi’s drawn next to them in the style of bocchi the rock!’s endings.]
#project sekai#bocchi the rock!#mafuyu asahina#kanade yoisaki#ena shinonome#mizuki akiyama#25 ji nightcord de#nightcord at 25:00#art archive#okay enough tags? i think so#anyways: the idea here is that kanade and bocchi look very similar#and the rest of the group lines up pretty well. at least in terms of vibes#also i think ena being kita in this scenario is hilarious#i’m sure you can mess around a little to change the rock band part of bocchi#to nightcord’s music production#but iiiii didn’t want to do that#also mafuyu is transmasc here because she’s mixed with ryo#and ryo is a rich girl that marches to the beat of her own drum
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#okay i finally listened to the full song after seeing that clip from the sweat tour#and you know what this reminds me of? yikes era sophie cates#i feel like her vocal style is pretty similar and the beat is so similar to the one in sucks 4 u#high key i think this song would fit perfectly on that ep#welcome back 2 the silversphere#addison rae#Spotify
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I need to ramble more about Esteban Flores, because everything about this character and his arc seem as though it was tailor-made for me and specifically designed to make me absolutely feral.
This going below the cut, both because I do not want to spoil the entire show for my friend who is think of watching Elena of Avalor and because I go full-on apologist here and I feel like that will annoy some people.
Imagine making the absolute worst mistake than anyone could possibly make, because you are 18 and scared and stupid and tired of being ignored. And it results in you losing your family and your freedom and what little self-respect you had left because you know all of this is very much your own fault.
And so you proceed to spend the next 41(!) years eking out a miserable existence in an oppressive state. Upon fear for your life, you are forced to be the reluctant right-hand of the evil witch-queen who conquered your country, killed your aunt and uncle and trapped your cousin in magical prison. In spite of this, you nevertheless do everything within your limited power trying to hold the kingdom together and make sure the people don't starve, because the queen certainly doesn't care about anything except greedily bleeding your country dry.
And no exaggeration, this is just what canon explicitly gives us outright in the pilot. Like that's not even getting into head canons/interpretations/common sense of what exactly this sort of life entailed for you. Because this is a children's show so there's only so much they will let us imply about living under that kind of system. Especially as a young, attractive, terrified person who is the last living member of the previous royal family who is likely being kept alive partly as a combination trophy/punching bag for the evil queen (even if the show never actually states this outright).
And then by some miracle, what's left of your family comes back after all this time. The evil queen is overthrown, partly because you yourself finally stood up to her at a critical moment. You and your country are finally free again, and what's more, you and your family are finally together again after over 4 decades. But you still feel like an outsider--partly because you always were an outsider in your family even in the better times and partly because over the past 41(!) years, time stood still for all of them except you.
And as a result, no one ever cares to ask what those 41 years were like for you or even just if you’re doing okay. Not only because your family can’t even begin to comprehend what it must have been like, but also because they don’t care to even *try* to understand. Because the narrative has decided that everyone else’s respective traumas is worth way more than your own. (Though tbf the narrative really doesn’t dwell much on anyone’s trauma in general but yours gets especially neglected , except to briefly play it for laughs or to remind you that your trauma is *your own fault and only your own*).
For a little while, life is pretty okay. It’s weird not having to watch your step every instant to make sure you’re not putting a toe out of line. And so you never really fully break out of your “survival mode” conditioning, making sure that you are still considered important and valuable enough to keep around.
But all the while, you know that your past—and especially your terrible little secret—is eventually going to come back to haunt you. And it does. First via blackmail and then via the return of the evil witch-queen herself. Fortunately, she is defeated for good before she can take avenge your “betrayal of her” but you still have to deal with seeing the ghost from the past who terrorized you for 41(!) years.
And then, your secret finally comes out in the open and you are disowned by your family—the family you *just* got back a few years ago—for an admittedly super bad decision that you made over four decades ago and have regretted ever since. Rather than face the rest of your life in isolation (as though you didn’t already have enough of that during the previous regime), you escape before you can be sent into exile. This puts you directly in the path of *another* terrifying, evil magical milf who you are forced to ally yourself with. Because you have 40+ years of conditioning that when a woman like that says “jump,” you say “how high?” if you are to have any hope of survival. Especially given that the only people who could’ve protected you from her are the family and friends who have just definitively washed their hands of you.
Despite this, you are still trying to seek your cousin’s forgiveness and to protect her in the little ways that you can. But you are constantly getting rebuffed over and over again, and if anything, your attempts at reconciliation only seem to make your cousin angrier, and she now hates you just as much as—if not MORE than—the woman who actually murdered her parents.
Your cousin is so angry at you specifically that she actively ignores the greater threat of Witchy Milf 2.0, because she happens to see your face and is enraged. This ends up backfiring spectacularly for you both, though it does indirectly lead to the defeat of said Witchy Milf 2.0.
But guess what? There’s no time to breathe or celebrate, because her defeat occurred during the successful summoning of a third power-mad, feminine-presenting magical humanoid and her allies. At least, this one treats you with some initial respect and actually gives you outright what you-think-you’ve-thought-you-always wanted. But she also turns your family and friends to stone in front of you as a warning of what’s to come if you dare to defy her.
But this time, you are finally done with this, have finally lost enough that you have paradoxically found your courage. You sacrifice yourself to save your cousin, and she is finally able to accept that you’ve sacrificed and changed enough that she can forgive you. And her forgiveness is so powerful and pure that it not only restores you to life but also undoes all the other evil magic. Together, you defeat this final enemy, paradoxically by banishing her to the same Underworld where your mistakes accidentally sent your aunt and uncle and her parents long ago. Peace has been restored. You have returned for good and are finally secure in your family’s love.
And after all that, there are *still* people (both presumably in universe and in the fandom outside of it) who say it's too little, too late and that it would've been better for everyone if you'd simply stayed dead.
Like I'm just... are we really victim-blaming the character who has 45 years of unprocessed trauma and guilt (both survivor's guilt and guilt in general) because of a decision he made when his brain was still developing and he was being manipulated by an older, much more powerful person?
#elena of avalor#elena of avalor meta#esteban flores#chancellor esteban#like how do you do this to me--an english major--#and not expect me to be completely unhinged about it?#like the parallelism. the THEMES.#the fact that having to abide by established sofia the first canon#meant that the writers had to significantly prolong the length of both esteban's and elena's respective traumas#i get that they had to but like 41 years? they still did THAT#and they expect me to be normal about it#don't get me wrong; i am not blaming elena for her response#it was normal and understandable and given her position; i may have acted the same#but at the same time; 41(!) years of trauma that the narrative just assumes esteban did and should've gotten over by now#even though they are not expecting elena to have gotten over the same 41-years of trauma?#and not just little trauma with a little “t”; we're talking TRAUMA™#someone get this man to the Ever Realm equivalent of therapy#like i'm not totally wild about s3 in general (we should've had an final season to deal with the coronation day aftermath)#but like the finale still hit all the right narrative beats that i needed so I'm okay-ish#and it still handled esteban's final arc much better than the similar final cassandra arc from tangled the series#imo at least
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(NOT ATSV) my ideal miguel and miles friendship (bordering on enemies) dynamic is where Miles is sort of a Mean Girls figure where he’ll say the worst things to Miguel, who actually has no problems dishing that shit right back out, is usually too fed up or somewhere else mentally to reply. They fight a lot, more physically than verbally, usually in a slapstick comedy type of way. Miles is banned from Nueva York once a month and got a restraining order against Miguel in his own dimension. His parents fucking hate him and Miguel hates them right back. Rio has tried and failed to poison him via food and Jeff is considering hiring a hitman. Gabriel is beloved by them. Miles takes Miguel’s money at least twice a week to go spend it just because he can. Miguel has tried (and succeeded once) to get Miles sick with a future illness because he figured out the lesbian bar Miguel liked to perform at in drag. Miles has cried at least once in every room of Miguel’s apartment and Miguel has been confused on what to do each time besides an awkward hug and pat on the back. People are rightfully worried for Miles’s safety at least 80% of the time but when they aren’t they’re shaking their heads at the two’s antics. They need to be separated until they have a healthy “this is a grown ass man / this is stupid little girl i don’t like at work” relationship and it’ll take an act of god for either of them to realize their current one isn’t healthy at all and has extremely negative impacts on their mental state.
#i wanna write this so badly bc like . this type of relationship with adults as a kid when you can’t 100% trsut them and place your safety +#in their hands is sooo interesting to write esp considering Miguel’s past and what Miles is used to#which is dangerous fights from adults (his villains) but also the loving ones like his parents his neighbors ripeter and peter b etc#and this miguel (imo) wouldn’t hurt miles on purpose because he knows the pain BUT he also doesn’t realize some shit is pain-causing both+#mentally and physically bc yknow some abused kids grow into adults who subconsciously do similar shit#and for Miles and Miguel to finally realize beating the shit out of each other almost constantly and the negative back and forth (if miguel#feels like talking that day) is just. not a good thing#it’s sort of like the way i write pavitr and miles’s relationship regarding their fighting because it’s genuinely helpful but#can seem borderline awful and physically abusive to each other#peter b is so fucking worried sometimes bc he sees Miguel in a completely different way than other people. like he’s off in lala land#like. he’ll see this 15 year old stickbug of a kid fighting his buddy Miguel who has been known to kill#he’ll say some fights tou just can’t win Miles… and Miles is setting Miguel’s apartment on fire#like they have good moments. okay. trust me. but a toxic friendship like the kind you see that people take too seriously from a show like.#idk bluey. or some kids show like that.#spiderverse fans DNI ‼️‼️‼️🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾‼️‼️‼️‼️#not ship never ship don’t even tag is as such bc i’ll just delete the post#miles morales#spiderman#spider man#gabriel o’hara#rio morales#jefferson morales#miguel o’hara#m&m posts
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hi I am still not normal about how we never get much of an epilogue for Emily and Corvo in the second game we are told how the rule turned out and that Emily is the beloved empress now but nothing beyond that and I get that the entire game is very much built on that I get that the first game we have close relationship with Emily and become fond of the staff that work with the Loyalists so we feel alone because we do not quite see eye to eye with our allies and all we have left is this little innocent child that sees Corvo as someone who can do no wrong in this world which is strongly contrasted with the second game where Emily (or Corvo) has few trusted allies that they can actually rely on and it feels like a group of almost-friends working to dismantle the conspiracy but at the very end of it all Emily is all alone, even her return to the Tower is so much more grim, her taking down Delilah, the entirety of Dunwall- it all feels so incredibly and thoroughly isolating, she is all Alone now, and maybe that's why it bothers me so much to see the story end so abrupty.
it would've been so, so poetic if both the first and the second game ended with Corvo and Emily embracing
#li.txt#dh#sorry Im not okay about this I just#ahhh idk I cant quite explain it#but playing as Emily feels so much more lonely than corvo in the first game#she talks about saving corvo so much and we dont even get a hug#one thing that keeps coming to mind is silent hill 3 where heather goes through So So Much after her father is murdered#and when the final boss is beat she drops to her knees and breaks down#and I think Emily deserves a similar epilogue#the final release of all the stress and fear and anger#her freeing corvo and suddenly it clicks delilah is gone and her witches are gone and all the sigils drawn over the tower begin to fade#and it all hits her at once and she finally gets to cry it all out#because shes okay and meagan is okay and sokolov is okay and her father is okay and karnaca is okay#except they are not. because they all nearly died so many times and her father was trapped in stone and she had to see so much#she had to fight and survive all while unsure if it will lead to anything#all while she was worried for the people she loves because if she fails it means the few people she still has left will be gone too#she had to watch her mother die a second time and then hear the voice of her vengeful aunt for weeks taunting and mocking#(and she was her only family at the time and they could have been a family too. but that is too much to consider now)#i dunno. i just think she deserved a bit more there. just that one last hug from corvo before the game ends
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Beating veilguard may genuinely get me out of my writing slump because I Need To Fix It
#dragon age#dav critical#crow rambles#sorry for only talking about what i disliked rn i swear i have quite a few things i very much liked#i unironically think that this finaly battle is one of the best in the series#even if it took what? two fucking hours lmao#DEFINITELY a step up from corphyeus#it reminded me of the battle of denerim in a way which is always a win in my book#i do wish we could control companions bc having a similar set up to denerim where you control your companions when youre split#would have been SOOO fun i kept thinking about it#however i do kinda understand not doing that in that end battle bc that was a very VERY long end quest(s)#i dont think ghilinain was the hardest boss in the game which was disappointment#okay im about to yap about spoilers in the tags so. warning yay#anyways I complete forgot about felassan's run until i beat the damn game#credits started rolling and i went “oh. i could have done that.”#i meant elgarnan. not ghilinain. ugh sorry#anyways he has nothing on ghilinain's (the actial one) three headed monster. that shit was HARD#i think i died at least seven times? minimum??#siege of weisshaupt was ALSO a particularly good quest btw even if some of the dialogue was odd#the only boss that i strugged with so badly i had to lower my difficultly was that fucking dragon in the crossroads. what the fuck is its#problem. and that was WITH the blessing of mythal getting rid of its armor. 0/10 worst fucking fight ever oml
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unnormal vivilly dweller thoughts in my head
#“I'm right next to you” are we about to kiss. are you trying to kiss me right neow#i hate the chase sequence part (corny and unoriginal) but everything else is so perfect#hEeEeLP MEeEeEE#i fuckign love vivilly anyway but i think the vivilly dweller is what Really did it fr me#SERIOUSLY THOUGJ WHAT THE FUCK#i would make a palpers dweller but i dont think my computer can with how shit it is rn#like i definitely will at some point (unless someone beats me to it) but i just can't rn 😭#i csnt wait for august viv face reveal guys!!!! YAY!!!! idc what he looks like he will always be so splinkoid#plus whatever characteristics he has i can kinda just add on to my design to him behind his mask#i color his skin as dark grey just for his mc skin but seeing his snapchat n stuff makes me wanna show him off as rhe eyeblinding man he is#or not! who knows . i have a tendency to do whatever#okay speakijg of his face reveal#i have something i want to explain to the wall#a part of me is hoping he isnt generic conventionally attractive guy 38495839488#the rest of me is neutral because idrc#the reason why is most likely because i would feel a deeper connection to him if we shared similar facial features#it's a good reason i think? but still weird to have because i shouldnt really care what he looks like at all#idk what to expect really but i guess i should be open minded abt it#I JUST. a lot of how i perceive him is through his mc character#that played a big part in how i grew to like him so much#but he ISN'T emo hoodie minecraft shyguy!!!#however i can still enjoy the 'persona' he has online. chill sarcastic insane funny blocky shyguy who does a little (A LOT OF) trolling#anyway back to what i was saying#hope bro isn't majestic as fuck irl#IF IT'S ANYTHING LIKE DREAM I'M GOING TO CRY#DREAM IS MAJESTIC AS FUCK I CANT EVEN WITH THAT MAN#i will be supportive anyway ofc because 1) i dont care even though i just proved that i do 2) i can separate persona from irl person 3)...U#IM SO NORMAL#also we're not goijg toctalkcabou t the dream thing. if youre my irl yoy didnt aee this (PLEASE DONT UNFRIEND ME OELASE#DONT LEAVE JUST FORGER Iなはoops didnt mean to type thatSAID THAT OKAY
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The fav I have the most frequent (and most intense) fights with is actually jing yuan btw
#pattering on the roof#he has a tendency to make me feel stupid and it’s not entirely by accident#he just can’t help himself#like JDNJFNEF I reference it in my meet fruit fic (which was Very selfship coded) but#the first massive fight we have is before we start dating when he’s still like courting me ig#and wheedles me into playing starchess w him#but I’m BAD at starchess okay I hate it I suck at it sucking at it makes me hate it more#and I like him so much and he’s so good and I wanna make a good impression but I SUCK and I leave every time upset#and he knows ofc he does. I’m improving and he loves seeing me improve which is why he keeps asking#eventually he’s like well maybe it’ll help if I let her win#no. it doesn’t. I blow up at him entirely bc I HATEEEE being condescended to and if u wanted someone who could beat u in starchess then go#find someone else u fucking asshole don’t humiliate me like that (<- face puffy weeping literally the only two people in the garden)#and I storm off sobbing. literally refuse to interact w him for MONTHS he’s making every excuse to bump into me and it’s full cold shoulder#I also never fully forgive him for it. we never play starchess again even centuries down the line after we’re married and he’s retired#n e way yeah#p much every fight is similar he just makes me feel dumb sometimes and I lash out at him#and frankly often it’s warranted bc not infrequently he provokes me on purpose#ss.🌧 yujing
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When you realize that Jolee is literally just Hunter from toh.
#NOT EXACTLY A BAD THING but like#okay they aren't 1 to 1 obviously#but in terms of design and story beats THEY'RE PRETTY FUCKING SIMILAR#tpitt#the princess in the tower#its the writer in me that feels like i'm copying someone else lmao. i know i'm not this is just a coincidence but#it's gonna nag me for a while now
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