#credits started rolling and i went “oh. i could have done that.”
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le-fruit-de-la-passion · 1 day ago
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Does a bad ending ruin a good story? A comprehensive guide to my feelings on the Arcane finale
*Spoilers for Arcane season 2*
So. You just finished the show, and you're staring at the screen in bewilderment. Perhaps you’re even with some friends, shouting words of confusion to the rolling credits. Try as you might, you can barely hear them, because a single thought echoes in your mind and pushes away any other:
“What the fuck just happened?”
If this happened to you, then boy oh boy, we're on the same boat. If it didn't, well, I'm glad for you friend! We might not have been looking for the same things from this story. But this is my post, meaning I will give my opinions (which are objectively correct because this is my blog and I'm the mayor here) on everything that Arcane broke and failed to deliver in its last 2 episodes.
Let's start with characters, and why none of it mattered.
Jinx symbolized the fear we all have of not belonging somewhere, of not having anything to call home or anyone to call a family. Her anger stemmed from wanting to carve a place in a society and a world that had so harshly rejected her (i.e., Vi leaving her). Her existence was a huge middle finger to all that refused to let her live, a fight to build herself something wholeheartedly hers (hence her being an inventor). It was proof that despite the world telling her she was better off dead, she would never stop fighting to prove it wrong.
… and she died.
She died, and that means all the suffering she went through to exist simply amounted to nothing. She left nothing behind either, no trace of a legacy, something that would have left her mark on that world. Isha, the child she raised as a daughter, died. Silco, who she taught love and care to, died. Vander, who she brought back from years of trauma and torture, died. Jinx fought so hard to live, and in the end, it was as if she hadn't lived at all.
Viktor is most certainly the character that made me the angriest, because of how attached I am to the person he is in season 1 (and even the first two acts of season 2 to an extent). Everything that made him so beautifully complex… gone, in about 10 minutes. There was NO reason to make him the surprise ultimate villain. Viktor had always, always been a pacificist. That's why he was so adamant Hextech not be used as a weapon. That's why every time there were chances to test hextech to hurt, he tried to learn how it could heal. Yes, his fusion with the hexcore had changed him; but NOT into a man who didn't care for human life. He wanted to help all the hurt done to his people. People like him, living day to day in the undercity, but who had never gotten a chance to crawl out of their hell. His community was about HEALING, not controlling. The very IDEA that he would accept killing innocents and ally with Noxus, the warmongers, is so ridiculous I could genuinely laugh if it didn't make me so angry. The show needed an easy, black-and-white showdown to conclude a story that would have needed so much more time to tell. And they chose Viktor. Because it was the easy way out. It was the perfect foil to the return of the Golden Boy. And that PISSES me off.
There is this really shitty concept in popular media that the handicapped/chronically ill character is always in the pursuit of being “cured” and that they need outside help to realize “that their imperfections make them perfect”. Fuck. You. As someone with chronic illness and who just finished beating blood cancer, fuck you. That realization, that you're you with every part of your being, even the ‘bad’ ones, cannot come from outside. It's YOU who needs to learn it. It's you who needs to discover how your body and your mind are so much stronger than you previously thought them to be. Not your lover, your family, your friends, or God forbid your able-bodied lab partner. You. Others may tell you as many times as they want your illness doesn't define you; it won't matter until you, yourself, have understood why and have accepted it. Having someone swoop in and “fix” Viktor with a “you don't have to change uwu” is just….. so reductive I can barely find the words for it. That was VIKTOR’S path to find, and not Jayce’s role to find it for him.
Also… Viktor wasn't trying to ‘fix’ his leg; he was trying to find a cure to a deadly illness ravaging his body and no doubt the bodies of many in Zaun. The HELL is the message here??? That he should have just rolled with it because the deadly illness was part of him??? Again, as a cancer survivor. Fuck right off.
Of course, I can't just ignore the hideous get-up they put him in at the end. The man who laughed at Jayce's narcissism….you want me to believe… he would put on that fucking edge lord costume and not DIE of embarrassment??? The design makes no sense from a narrative standpoint either: if his cane has become the sceptre, why is he still keeping it? He doesn't need it anymore to walk, and it's a reminder of his weaknesses as a human that he apparently hated so much. Why the hell does he keep it then? And the hexclaw. Where did that bad boy come out from?? Did you all see a secret extra bonus scene where he steals it from the lab, because I sure didn't. It doesn't add anything to his sets of powers either it’s… it's a fucking laser gun. WHY. And oh sweet god that mask… there would have been so many ways of designing a mask more meaningful than the one from LoL. This one is just. A piece of metal he spawned in embryo. Get it? Because he's made of metal now and also hiding his face means no more humanity? Get it?? Of fucking course you do, because this was the easiest and worst possible way they could have integrated the mask.
Viktor and Jayce had a fantastic dynamic in that Viktor had started out as the loner, the underdog scientist from the slums; while Jayce was the leader figure, living in comfort that made him attachingly naive, his face plastered on posters stroking his ego. The shift is delightfully slow, as Viktor gains in confidence and determination to see his invention through no matter what, while Jayce is confronted with harsher and harsher truths about the world he so blissfully ignored. By Act 2, they have fully switched roles: Viktor is now the leader figure, a symbol of the future for the people, while Jayce is desperately alone, both physically in the hexcore anomaly, and mentally in being the only one who has seen the devastating future. Excellent stuff. What would be a great way to push these parallels further and to show the complexity of these characters, and perhaps how they can balance each other out? Well, Fortiche sure didn't know, now Viktor is the bad bad guy and Jayce is mister hero. Zaun bad, Piltover good. All nuance, gone. Proving that indeed, the man from poverty and inequality turns out evil, while the one from comfort and wealth turns out to be the hero of the story. The whole “giving a warm speech to the bad villain about how you care for them, somehow immediately changing their ways, and dying together to save the world” can work well in shounen anime where friendship is magic, or in the Ben 10 live-action movie (yes, that's the plot, I thought that wasn't deep when I was like 7 years old so imagine now), but not in a show like Arcane. Not with the ethical and moral nuances they have accustomed us to.
And now, let's explore...
Plotholes and incomplete storylines galore.
Ekko’s tree and the contamination of Zaun from Piltover? Fuck that. The huge showdown between the two opposite yet sister cities, like Jinx and Vi, that has been built up for two seasons? Fuck that. And for what?
For the Noxus sequel teaser.
Mel’s plotline about finding her mage origins had NOTHING to do with the main plot. Absolutely nothing. It added 0 twists or intrigues to the story, and served no purpose except making her a deus ex machina for a broken ending. All it was there for was to lay the base for a following show on Noxus and the Black Rose. Time that could have been spent either giving Mel a proper arc related to the plot, or giving all the other rushed character arcs more development.
Finally, and I deeply regret having to say this, but… the end of Vi and Cait's relationship was majorly disappointing to me. As an LGBTQ+ person myself, who feels attraction to women, it was a delight to have such a realistically portrayed w/w relationship on screen. Popular media tends to portray m/m relationships as these doomed, sinful feelings between two repressed guys, while w/w relationships are shown to just be all sunshine and rainbows and teddy bears, because two women together are a cute little accessory to have on screen. It’s non-threatening. But not Cait and Vi; their bond was raw, and rocky, with violent lows and passionate highs in a world that seemed to want to keep them apart. Their separation and the introduction of Maddie showed the reality of a w/w relationship, where fights and cheating ARE things that happen, because they're two adult women with different beliefs, objectives, an trauma. Putting them back together, as if nothing had happened, without giving us anything about how their relationship would have evolved from the breakup? I'd never thought I'd say this, but it's too easy. How about Caitlyn's literal descent into fascism??? We’ll just ignore that? Vi will just ignore that?
As with everything else, this last part of Arcane destroys all the complex emotions that exist between these characters, the resentment, the anger, the frustration, built upon years of different social conditioning… gone. Because they had 2 episodes left to wrap it up, and there was no way to make a coherent and natural transition to them getting back together with that kind of time. And can I just say. The decision to have Vi, symbol of Zaun, go down on Caitlyn, symbol of Piltover and enforcers, in a prison cell that has held innocent Zaunites and represents their complete lack of freedom as individuals by a cop state that oppresses them….. yeah, bad. So bad.
And… the multiverse. Yup, they went the multiverse route. Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing: the concept of multiverses itself is interesting in a vacuum, and quite a few properties have managed to make it work coherently. But it has been terribly overused and bastardized in serialized content in the last few years, for the simple reason that it's extremely practical. Why make a new, original series when you already have worlds and characters that are developed, and come with built-in fans? It's a money-saving hack! Why dedicate yourself to an ending that is meaningful in its finality and wraps the story properly when you can just say “It's just one ending in the multiverse!”. It takes away any accountability to the fans, and leaves the door open to a potential other version of the story! The perfect combo!
…except in practice, it comes off as lazy in a medium where that trope is overly saturated (don't start me on Marvel), and like a cowardly way of escaping from the responsibility of really taking the time to craft a good, solid ending to end your story.
So, with all that said: does it ruin Arcane for me? No, absolutely not, and I don’t think it should be for you either. The intricate artistry and raw talent that went into making the first season (and I would say a majority of the two first acts of season 2) is undeniable, and will stay undeniable. Nothing can touch that story. It will forever be one of my favourite pieces of animated media, which is saying a lot because I'm currently getting my master's degree on that topic.
However, it does give Arcane, as a whole rather than two separate seasons/entities, a very bittersweet feeling that is hard to forget. Thinking of what could have been, just if a little more time had been given to the minds behind the masterpiece you so loved… it's its own form of heartbreak. Academics have even compared it to experiencing a form of death of a loved one, before they ever got to reach their fullest potential and live the life they deserved. It may sound dramatic, but the feelings you feel in this moment, watching the horrible end of a fiction you have so much love for, are real. No one can take those away from you. You're allowed to grieve the loss of something that meant a lot to you.
Tldr; No, Arcane is not a bad series because of its rushed and incomprehensible ending. As they say, it's all about the journey, not the destination, even if that's one of the parts we tend to remember the most. And I don't know about you, but this was one of the best journeys I've ever been on.
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crows-of-buckets · 16 days ago
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Beating veilguard may genuinely get me out of my writing slump because I Need To Fix It
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cosmopretty · 4 days ago
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Paige Bueckers X Fem
synopsis: After a bad game Paige comes home and needs a way to get her anger out and it always helps by fucking you
warnings: smut, nsfw
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Tonight was a big night for Paige she had home game, sadly you couldn't make it because you were helping one of your friends go through her breakup. Paige said she understood I mean you went to almost every one of her games she called you "Her good luck charm" because she felt like you were one of the reasons she could win. It wasn't real, it was her talent and hard work that helped UConn win, but regardless she gave you credit.
Instead of watching the game on the TV like you said you would, your friend wanted to watch The Titanic, rolling your eyes you agreed. By the time Paige comes home your friend was long gone, back to her dorm.
Laying down on the bed you flinch hearing the dorm slam shut, getting up you walk over to Paige only to see her with her hand in her hands on the counter. Confused you walk up to her slowly "Paige? Honey are you okay?" you ask her quietly not wanting to upset her further.
She pushes her self off the counter and stands to her full height, her six foot tall frame towering over you "I lost the fucking game, missed the last shot. It was all my fault" she says almost yelling at you.
"Oh Paige- you know-" Before you can finish your sentence she interrupted you "You wanna help me feel better?" she asks you walking closer to you, her hand coming down to hold your hip.
She squeezes the flesh "Of course Paige" you answer her almost immediately.
The tall girl smirks "Then go lay down on our bed naked and wait for me" she says leaning down to kiss the side of your neck before abruptly letting go of you.
Walking away from your you start to take you shirt off as you walk away, your back to her.
Once you get back into your room you strip of the the rest of your clothes. This wasn't the first time Paige came home angry just to fuck the shit out of you.
Before you can even sit down Paige storms in pushing you down on the bed and climbing on top of you. She flips you both over so she’s straddling your waist.
Immediately your body submits to her even if you didn't want to. She knew how to push your buttons and make you hers. After all you were her girl.
"You're my good luck charm and you weren't there, maybe if you were we could have won" She says her hand moving down to your core, rubbing her fingers through your folds.
Before you can even think to reply to her words she shoves two of her long veiny fingers inside of you. Without giving you time to adjust she starts pumping them in and out of you roughly.
Your legs try and squeeze shut but her hand stays between them fucking you. Staring up at Paige as you whine "Fuck P-Paige" you whimper.
The feeling of her fingers abusing your walls so roughly made your stomach tighten, you knew you weren't going to last long. Her voice snaps you out of your thoughts "Come on and cum for me baby" she encourages you her thumb coming to rub your clit.
The sensations of her attack on your clit and fingers pumping into you caused your stomach to tighten so hard you came crashing down on her fingers "FUCK PAIGE" you moan loudly your cum coating her fingers, dripping down.
She smirks sliding her fingers out of your hole before pushing them between her lips, sucking your juices off. Her eyes lock on yours as you watch her suck your cum off of her fingers "Your so hot Paige" you admit accidentally out loud.
The blonde smirks pulting her fingers out of her mouth "I know" she says getting off of the bed and stripping of her clothes. Once she's fully naked she stares at you while she starts harnessing the strap to her hips. You knew you were in for it, she wasn't stopping until she was done, it didn't matter how many times you came.
Paige climbs back on top of your rubbing the strap though your folds collecting your slick
"How bout you ride me baby? Show me you're a good girl and maybe I'll be nice" she tells you flipping you both over so you're straddling her waist. Her back leans against the headboard as her hands hold your waist squeezing the flesh "Go on baby give me a show" she commands pushing you up to hover over her strap.
You slowly push yourself down the strap before falling all the way down, your jaw falling slack as the long strap pushes through your hole into your gummy walls.
She smirks moving your hips with her big hands pushing you up and down on her strap “Such a pretty girl” she whispers her head dipping down into your neck.
Her mouth leaves warm open mouthed kisses down your neck as her strap pushes through your gummy walls. You moan your head dipping back “God P- Paige fuck-“ you whine as she starts sucking on your sweet spot.
“You gonna cum baby” She asks you kissing behind your ear as her hands help speed you up.
Your hands squeeze her shoulders as you nod feeling your stomach tighten “Yes please let me cum P” you beg her. Your hips grind down harder on her strap as it hits your G spot.
Her blue eyes bore into yours “Okay princess go on cum for me” she demands her hands squeezing the soft skin of your hips. Her hips jerk up thrust the strap deeper inside you as she helps you cum.
“F-fuck fuck” You moan pulling Paige into a kiss as you feel your stomach snap and let go, cumming all over her strap.
Paiges lips muffle your moans as she helps you ride out your high. She pulls away from the kiss and embarrassing string of saliva between you both.
You stare at her out of breath the strap still inside you “Your so pretty, all fucked out for me” Paige whispers one of her hands moving up your body to push some hair behind your ear.
“Too bad I’m gonna ruin you” She mumbles flipping you over onto your back faster than you can even think.
You stare at her confused about to say something before she interrupts you “Don’t look at me like that baby, ready for round two?” She asks smirking.
A/N: THE BITCH IS BACKK!!!!
DID YOU MISS ME? I MISSED YALL
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cozage · 1 year ago
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hii can i request silent treatment with sabo, law, and ace? like the one you wrote before! i love reading it sm i wanted to see how they (sabo, law, and ace) would react if they received/ gave silent treatment !
Characters: gn reader x Sabo, Law, Ace Cw: everyone involved being a bit of an orange flag Total word count: 4k
Silent Treatment
Sabo
Oh sweet sweet Sabo. He didn’t even realize his offhanded joke in the meeting had offended you. He didn’t think about how you and Koala were the only ones not laughing about the jokes the officers said. He didn’t notice how you and Koala immediately left the room fuming as soon as you could.
He had to run to catch up with you after the meeting, and you showed no sign of slowing your pace. 
“Hey!” he called out, trying to get to you. “I’m gonna go out with the guys for a bit, I’ll catch up with you soon?”
“Do whatever you want,” you shot back. “The men know best after all, right?” 
He must not have heard the sarcasm and anger laced in your voice, because he just gave you a wink and a peck on the cheek and ran off with some of the other leaders. 
Koala gave you a side smirk. “They’re clueless, I swear,” she laughed. 
“We never get the credit,” you grumbled. “I can’t do it anymore, Koala! I’m so fed up with this!”
“Have you talked to him about it?”
“So many times!” you cried. “We’re treated the same professionally but socially-”
“It’s a commanders club,” she finished for you. “Maybe we should make a separate club?”
“Rule One: No talking to them until they apologize.”
Sabo was surprised to find that you weren’t waiting for him in bed when he got home. You weren’t in the spare room, either. 
He finally found a note on the kitchen that was short and to the point. “Sleeping at Koala’s.”
Confusing, but he was slightly drunk, so he opted to go to bed and figure it out in the morning. 
When morning came, he was disappointed to find that the coffee hadn't started. He went to grab his overnight oats from the fridge, but you hadn’t made that for him either, which was strange. Usually when you stayed at Koala’s, you prepped all that stuff ahead of time. But last night you hadn’t. He’d have to ask you about that before the meeting this morning. 
He arrived late to the meeting since the coffee took longer than he thought it would and he had to make breakfast. You were already sitting when he got there, you and Koala talking to each other quietly. Normally you saved a se at for him, but today all of the seats had been filled, and he was left with one at the end of the table.
He kept trying to catch your eye, but you refused to look at him. He finally caught Koala’s at one point, and mouthed “What’s wrong?” but she simply rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Dragon. 
If Koala was mad at him, that meant you were mad at him. He racked his brain the entire meeting, trying to think of what he would’ve done to make you upset. But he couldn’t think of anything. 
He tried to catch you after the meeting, but you and Koala made a beeline for the door and ignored his calls after you. 
“Just let them go, dude,” Jiron said to him. “Those two never want to hang out with us anyway.”
Shit. It all clicked together. The jokes made in the meeting yesterday, him going out with the boys without asking if you and Koala had wanted to come. 
“Maybe if you treated them with a little respect, Jiron, they would.” Sabo’s words came out in a low, threatening hiss. 
“Look, I know you’re close with them,” Jiron said. “But they’re not very nice to us either. They’re kind of…”
“Kind of what?” Sabo edged, his blood starting to boil. 
“Well…bitchy.”
Sabo wasn’t really sure what happened next. He didn’t remember doing anything, but the next moment, Jiron was on the ground holding his nose. Blood was leaking out through his fingers onto the ground. 
“Don’t use that word to describe either of them ever again. Got it?” Sabo growled the words, looking around the room. 
“What the FUCK, Sabo?” Jiron cried, but Sabo was already pacing toward the door, desperate to get to you as soon as possible. 
He caught up with you and Koala quickly and jumped between the two of you, wrapping his arms around your alls shoulders. You tensed at his touch, but once you realized it was him, you just scoffed and shrugged him off. 
“Go away, Sabo,” Koala sneered as she shoved him away.
“I’m sorry!” Sabo jumped in front of you all, trying to block your path. “Please, I’m sorry I laughed at those jokes yesterday and even made one myself. That was really shitty of me.”
“Sabo,” you sighed, shaking your head.
He fell to his knees and looked up at you, begging. “And please teach me how to use the coffee machine! And make overnight oats! I’ll make it from now on. I’m starving and I’m sorry.”
His apology made you giggle, and you took his hands and helped him to his feet. Once he was standing, you laced your fingers through his. “You’ll really make the oats?”
“If you want me to.”
“Deal.” You smiled, and gave him a soft kiss to seal his promise. “Can’t go back on it now.”
“And how are you going to make it up to me?” Koala pouted.
“Oh,” Sabo suddenly got very bashful. “I punched Jiron, I think.”
“You WHAT?!”
Law
You bounded into Law’s office, excited to tell him the news. “Law! Shachi just caught-”
“Hang on,” Law mumbled, flicking through his book. He was always looking for something. You were always interrupting him. 
After a few minutes, he looked up at you. “Okay, go ahead.”
“Shachi just caught an electric eel! A massive one!”
The moments the words left your mouth, Law was back to looking back at his book. “Interesting. Is that all?”
“Well, I just thought-”
“Hang on,” he mumbled again, already lost on another tangent in his head. 
“Don’t worry about it.” You left the room before he had a chance to respond, though you doubt he even noticed your absence.
He got like this sometimes, and you tried not to get hurt by his sudden coldness. It’s just what happened when you were with the Surgeon of Death. A few hours later you had all but forgotten the encounter. There was an island coming up, and you ran to alert him.  
“Law!” You slammed his door open, ecstatic. “Law! Guess-”
“Do you mind?!” His loud and hostile voice made you take a step back. “I’m trying to do something and you keep interrupting me!”
You pushed down the lump that was in your throat, but you could feel your lip trembling, threatening to give you away. You couldn’t look weak in front of him. 
“Sorry,” you whispered, rushing out of the room.
Shachi found you first, furiously wiping the tears from your face. “I told you, you’re too good for him! Maybe you should give him a taste of what it’s like to lose you.”
“Like how?”
A devious grin grew on Shachi’s face. “Silent treatment.”
“Hey captain.” Bepo peeked in the door nervously, knowing there was tension about to be caused. “We’re heading off to the island.”
Law looked up from his book, confused. “Island?” You always told him when you were about to approach an island.
“We docked about a half hour ago,” Shachi chimed in from the hallway.
Law could hear something in his voice. “Where’s Y/N? Are they going?” 
“They're going,” Shachi said, grabbing the door handle. 
“Well, can you-” Law’s words were cut off by Shachi slamming the door shut. 
That was Law’s first indication of something stirring. Shachi always took your side during squabbles, and he seemed livid today. 
Law meant to go talk to you. He wasn’t sure what he needed to apologize for, but he knew it was something. But then he found an interesting article about poisons, and he got sucked into reading. Before he knew it, the sun had set and he had to turn on a lamp to keep reading.
Shachi, on the other hand, kept your mind busy. He took you out on the town, dragging you into every clothing shop and making you try anything on that even might look good on you. He pulled you into dessert shops and trinket stores and forced you to go on a beach walk with him. He was your best friend for a reason.
“What if he doesn’t apologize?” you asked him, watching the sun sink. “Then you don’t talk to him, no matter what,” Shachi responded.
Law was still shut away in his office when you returned, and your heart felt a soft ache. He hadn’t even noticed your absence. 
“Come on,” Shachi said gently. “You can sleep in our room.”
“I should go talk to-”
“No,” Shachi said firmly. “He always does this. He needs to learn his lesson.” So you slept in the crew bunkhouse for the first time in months. Nobody asked questions, everyone just accepted it. You suspected Shachi had filled them in. 
It took Law a few minutes to realize what was wrong. He had come into his room silently and brushed his teeth in the dark before bed like always. It was quieter than usual. And when he went to lay down, the bed was still made. As he pulled the covers back, he couldn’t help but notice how unnatural it felt. But he couldn’t place why.
It was too cold, he realized. And he quickly flicked on a light in the room to find it empty. Thoughts raced through his mind. Where were you? Had you gone missing? Had the Navy or someone else captured you to turn you in for a bounty? 
He quickly walked to the shared common room, where he found Penguin and Ikkaku sitting. “Did you go to the island?” he asked, scanning the room. It was too late for you to be up, but he had to double check. 
They both nodded, and Law tried not to panic. “Did Y/N come back?”
“Yeah,” Penguin affirmed. “We had dinner with them and Shachi, and we all walked back together.” He gave Ikakku a nervous glance before continuing. “I think they’re sleeping in the shared bunkhouse.”
“What?” Law hissed. “Why?” But Ikkaku and Penguin both shrugged, and Law turned and stormed out the door, making a beeline for the bunkhouse. 
He flung the door open, searching for you. He quickly found you in the bunk below Shachi, and he walked over to where you were sleeping. 
“What are you doing?” Law said, shaking you lightly. “Come to bed.”
You groaned in your sleep and pushed him away. You never slept well in the bunkhouse. You were a light sleeper, any type of noise made you wake up. 
“Y/N,” Law said, shaking you harder. “Let’s go.” 
“Law?” Your eyes finally opened, your voice full of exhaustion and sleep. Once you realized it was him, you slapped a hand over your mouth. Silent Treatment. 
Law could see the hurt and anger in your eyes when you recognized him, and his heart constricted when you turned away from him. 
“Can we talk about what’s going on? Please?” he begged. He was trying not to disturb others, but you could hear them beginning to stir. 
You almost caved, but Shachi came to your rescue. He hopped down from his bed and put himself between you and Law. “You can talk in the morning,” Shachi said. “Y/N wants to be here, so let them sleep here.”
Law tried to look past Shachi to you. “I know you can’t stand sleeping here. Just come to bed. Please.”
“Captain.” Shachi’s voice was on the verge of dangerous defiance. “Leave.”
Law stared at him, not sure what to make of Shachi’s protectiveness over you. His gaze was almost challenging, but Shachi refused to back down. He could hear the others in the room starting to stir, and he knew he was only embarrassing you, so he conceded. “I’m coming back first thing.”
“That’s fine,” Shachi said. “If Y/N wants to talk then, you’re welcome to have a conversation.”
Law slept horribly that night. His fingers kept reaching out for you. The bed felt too big, the covers weren’t warm enough. He finally got up and started reading. He was too anxious to sleep.
So were you. You were tossing and turning every 20 minutes, trying to get comfortable. You couldn’t sleep without Law’s heartbeat thrumming in your ears. But Shachi made you promise to never admit it. 
Law was sitting in the hallway outside the door when you went to get breakfast. You almost tripped over him, and when he saw you, he immediately stood to his feet. His tired gold eyes pierced into your soul, and you could see he was in rough shape.  “Can we talk now?” He tried to keep the desperation out of his voice, but you could hear it loud and clear. 
You gave a panicked look to Shachi, but he only gave you a smile and a small nod, encouraging you on. 
You gave Law a nod in agreement. You still weren’t ready to talk to him, but you could listen. 
“I did something yesterday,” Law said, closing the door to his office as you walked in. “I snapped at you when you were excited about something. I prioritized my studies over you and I’m sorry.”
You watched him closely, making sure his words were genuine. Law had a tendency to apologize when he knew you wanted to hear it, not when he actually felt bad about it. 
“I’ve been doing that a lot lately,” he continued. “I tend to get obsessed with my work, and my relationships hurt because of it. And I know it’s not fair to ask you, but I need you to tell me when I’m hurting you. Because I don’t want to hurt you. That’s the last thing I want. So please…tell me. Yell at me. Smack me. Just don’t…don’t disappear on me. Please.”
Your heart melted at his words. You walked over to him and wrapped your arms around his neck. “And you won’t get mad?”
“I promise I won’t.”
You gave him a mischievous grin. “Even if I smack you really hard?” 
“I feel like I’m going to regret saying that,” he groaned.
You giggled and gave him a soft kiss. “Too late, Captain.” You rested your head on his shoulder, his familiar scent making your eyes start to droop. “Can we go back to bed now?”
“Bed would be nice,” he mumbled into your hair, already pulling you toward his private room. 
Ace
Fifteen people in the bar, and your boyfriend had flirted with every single one. 
Friendly. That’s what he always called it. He was just being friendly. But you saw the way those commoners looked at him, the lust in their eyes. Getting with a pirate would be thrilling, they’d whisper when his back was turned. He never seemed to hear them talk about him, but he’d always be around them. Convenient. 
“You shouldn’t be bothered,” he’d always say. “You know that I’ll always choose you.”
But you were bothered. You hated the pit of jealousy that formed in your gut every time a new person walked up to him. They were always so touchy, rubbing their hands along his shoulders, and the daring ones would even venture down his chest. Like he was their plaything. But he didn’t belong to them. 
He was yours. Just not in this bar. Or any bar. 
Maybe it was time to give him a taste of his own medicine. You were certain he wouldn’t be able to stand the thought of you flirting with another man. 
Your eyes met an attractive man across the bar, and you decided it would be a good theory to test. 
Seeing what you were about to do, Marco grabbed your wrist, pulling you back down into the seat. “Wait,” he muttered.
“Stay out of it, Marco,” you hummed softly. Your voice was pleasant, but there was a threatening undertone to it. 
“If you want to make him jealous that will end in a fight and change nothing except the intensity of your makeup sex, go for it.” 
Your cheeks brightened at his words, and you finally broke your eye contact with the random man to look at the commander. “Marco-!”
“But if you want to make him panic and stay by your side from now on, listen.” Marco’s voice got low. “Ace looks over here at least once every five minutes. He’s checking on you. I’m guessing jealous sex is his-“
“MARCO!”
“Anyway, I guarantee if you vanish, it’ll make him sweat. Just go back to the Moby Dick, and crash in my room for the night if you want. Give him a bit of the silent treatment. Don’t lean into what he wants. Push away, and I know he’ll stop.”
“How?”
“Because he’s head over heels for you, dummy. Even right now, all he wants is your attention. Don’t give it to him and you’ll cut the bad habits.”
It was worth a shot, and you wouldn’t have to talk to any sleazy guys to test the theory. 
“You’re the best, Marco.” You flashed him a grin and stood, giving Ace one last glance. “But never talk about my sex life again.”
“Oh please,” Marco scoffed. “You have no idea what the commanders talk about during shower time, do you?”
Your eyes widened in horror, but Marco just laughed. “Relax! It was a joke!”
“It better be!” you hissed. “Or I’ll skin that boy alive.”
You gave one more glance to Ace. He was caught up in some conversation with a woman, giving her most of his attention. You rolled your eyes, jealousy panging in your chest, and slipped out the door. 
The first two times Ace glanced over at your table, he wasn’t worried about your absence. But the third time, he started to get a bad feeling. You had been gone for too long. 
He wandered back to the table, trying to appear casual and unbothered. “Hey Marco,” he said, bringing him another beer. “Where’s Y/N?”
Marco knew he was using the beer as a bribe, but took it anyway. “Not sure, they walked out about thirty minutes ago. Hasn’t been back since.”
“What?” Ace could feel himself sobering up, worried about your safety. “Where’d they go?”
“They seemed tired,” Marco said, watching Ace carefully. 
“But they always tell me when they’re going home,” Ace grumbled, looking around. “I’m gonna head back too. Kind of over this whole scene.”
Marco chuckled, reading through Ace’s words, but he didn’t say anything further. He watched Ace walk out the door and back to the ship without so much as a goodbye to anyone in the bar, and he knew his plan would work. 
Ace tried not to panic when you weren’t in his room. Sometimes you slept in other places, like the common room or the bunkhouse. Especially on drunken nights, you always seemed to find some random place to pass out. But you always told him when you were going to bed. 
He didn’t sleep well. He wandered around the ship several times, trying to appear unbothered. But he was searching every nook and cranny, desperately looking for where you had landed yourself. 
He didn’t see you again until the next morning, sitting at the breakfast table with Marco and a few others. You were completely surrounded by people, but Ace stopped by your seat on the way to the breakfast line. 
“Hey.” He touched your shoulder and you stiffened at the contact, which was odd. Normally you leaned into his touch. You always looked up at him full of love, silently begging him for a morning kiss. But this morning you didn’t even bother to look his way. “Where’d you end up last night?” he asked. 
“My room,” Marco answered for you, laughing. “That sure was a shock to walk into!”
You laughed, shoving Marco slightly. You still refused to acknowledge Ace, though it was starting to get difficult. “Hey Thornton, you left shortly before me. Where did you end up?”
“I swear I could’ve made it back to my room if I wanted to!” he bellowed, and everyone laughed. 
“Right!” you laughed. “I bet the deck all night sure was cozy!”
You were ignoring him. Ace was sure of it. Had something happened between you and Marco…no. The two of you had only ever been friends, so close you might as well have been siblings. 
He finally left you alone, his brain in overdrive trying to figure out what had made you so upset since the last time he spoke to you. 
“You flirt too much,” Marco said, joining him in line. 
Ace looked back at him, confused. “What?”
“You’re wondering why Y/N is ignoring you, right?” Ace shrugged, trying not to show that it was bothering him too much, but Marco clicked his tongue in disapproval. “Drop the act, man. You should care. And I know you do. I can practically see the steam coming out of your ears trying to figure it out.”
“I just like to talk to people,” Ace defended. “What’s the harm in that?”
“The harm is you don’t just talk. You flirt.” Marco chuckled, shaking his head. “I know what you’re doing, dude, and I don’t blame you. But you’ve got a good thing. Don’t lose it because you want to…talk.”
Ace frowned, annoyed with being called out so personally, but he thought about it while he ate his breakfast alone. He knew how much you hated the way he treated local islanders when you all went out. But he loved the jealous, possessive side of you. He loved watching you fight for him, even if you were fighting with him. 
He found you lounging on the deck, reading a magazine. He walked over to you and sat on the edge of the lounger. He saw your eyes flick up and then immediately back to the magazine, and he could’ve sworn the air temperature dropped 10 degrees. 
“Hey,” he cooed, his hands dancing up your legs, finding the spots he knew you were ticklish. 
You tried to move your legs, but there weren't many places to escape to without getting up and walking away. 
“Please talk to me,” he pouted. He leaned against you, pushing your magazine out of the way and resting his head on your chest, looking up at you with his signature puppy dog eyes. 
You turned your head away from him, trying your best to ignore him even though he was physically on top of you, pinning you down. 
“Pleaseeeee,” Ace begged. His hands came up and playfully squished your cheeks, and you struggled to keep a straight face. He was so good at making you smile. 
“Go away,” you finally said, trying to push him off of you. It was useless, but you had to try. 
“You speak!” Ace cheered, and you rolled your eyes. You were tired of his antics. You wanted an apology. 
“I’m so lonely without you, babe,” Ace sang offkey, his fingers tracing along your shoulders. “Please come back to me, my loveeeee.”
You didn’t react, but you could feel your vision starting to get blurry. He was too stubborn, but you couldn’t keep doing this. You couldn’t keep being humiliated and forced to watch Ace live the best of both worlds. 
“I’m sorry,” Ace finally whispered when he saw your eyes starting to get watery. “I know I’m a little insane.”
You finally looked at him, still silent. Waiting for more. 
“And I’m sorry I’ve been hurting you for so long,” he said. “I don’t want to lose you. So no more flirting with random people in bars. You’re mine. And I’m yours.”
“Promise?” you whispered, your voice breaking. 
“I promise,” he said, nuzzling into your chest and hugging you tight. He’d hold you close and never let you slip away again.
6K notes · View notes
zeltqz · 11 months ago
Text
it girl | sanzu h.
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synopsis. you find sanzu after a fight at a party and end up introducing yourself and helping him patch up. turns out sanzu isn't as extroverted when it comes to speaking to girls, rindou finds out.
contains. smut, first time (sanzu's a virgin), nervous sanzu, bold reader, mentions of violence, busted lips, bruised knuckles, kantou!manji era, nude/explicit photos, oral (m), sanzu gets head for the first time, koko rindou and sanzu are best friends idc.
author's note. sanzu's so pretty but i just know that boy has never felt the touch of a woman, hence why i wrote this lmfao. call it a power move or whatever 🙄 (i wanna see more submissive sanzu honestly). fanart credits: caravaggist
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“My head is fucking killing me,” Sanzu said with a pained groan. He began coughing until he started laughing, running purely on adrenaline. “I beat that fucker’s ass, didja see that?!”
“Shut up, stop being so loud.” Sanzu winced when Rindou smacked him upside the head. He looked down at his busted, bruised knuckles and cursed. “We’re so fucking dead.”
“Told you not to drink that much,” Koko sniped, gesturing with his chin over at Sanzu. “Got us into a goddamn fight.”
“Not my fault you guys are such wimps.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Koko doubled over to catch his breath, slumping against a car. 
“Are you guys okay?” you called out, steadily approaching the three boys. 
Your heart nearly stopped when they all turned to meet your eyes, but there was one you couldn’t take your eyes off of the most. He had green eyes and crazy pink hair tied up into a ponytail. You’d been eyeing him for the majority of the party, just small glances over at whichever end he was loudly talking at. The entire time you had been taking extra shots for courage to approach him but pussied out each time. When you were upstairs, there was loud shouting, chanting, and the sound of things breaking as a group of boys managed to get into a fight. You didn’t see the full thing, only coming down the stairs the exact moment you saw the three of them run outside, tearing down the street and around the block in record time. A quick scan of the party, you saw the pink haired guy was no longer there, so your feet went running before you could even think of what you were doing.
He was much prettier up close, an ethereal kind of beauty you rarely ever see. Not many people can rock long pink hair but he manages to make it work well.
You ran out, taking off after them. It was a miracle you found them, having guessed which direction they must’ve took off in. 
“Who are you?” Kokonoi asked, looking strangely at you.
“I was at the party,” you gestured down the street, “and saw everything. Are you guys okay?” you repeated, walking a little closer to the group. 
Kokonoi’s hostility dropped down a few notches and he nodded. Rindou shrugged and rolled his neck, trying to ease away the stiffness residing in his bones. Sanzu, on the other hand, just stared at you dumbfoundedly. He didn’t say a word, just stared at you with half wide eyes that only widened when you met his gaze. You held eye contact for a few seconds before looking down at his knuckles. Out of the three, Sanzu was probably the most roughed up, having done the most the entire fight and caught the most strays. His lip was busted and his knuckles were bruised.
“Oh that looks really bad. One second,” you said, pulling out a tissue from your pocket “Can I?” you asked, looking into his eyes. He doesn’t say yes or no, and Rindou isn’t even sure he’s breathing anymore. He doesn’t stop you as you hold his bruised hand and lift it up to your face for examination. 
You placed the tissue onto his knuckles. “I’m sorry that happened by the way. I don’t know how it started but I’m sure you guys didn’t deserve it.”
Kokonoi snorted and Rindou elbows him roughly. “Eh it’s whatever. Bottom line is we won, so.”
“You guys shouldn’t be fighting like that though. Especially in public. The police got called and are probably on their way here.”
“Wait seriously?!” Kokonoi whipped his head up at you and you nodded. He cursed under his breath. “We better get going again. Don’t wanna have to get bailed out again.”
Again?
“True that,” Rindou agreed, dusting off his pants. His head was pounding and he might probably have a concussion, but all that didn’t matter to him. He just needed to get out of here. “Call Ran, he’ll come pick us up.”
“He’s gonna fucking kill us,” Kokonoi replied.
“Better him than Mikey.”
“But—”
You tuned out the rest of their conversation and continued dabbing Sanzu’s knuckles, who still hadn’t said a single word since you approached. You blinked up at him and removed the bag from his hand. 
“Your lip is bleeding,” you announced, and he almost flinched away when your thumb rose to his lip. “Does it hurt?” He shook his head. “Can I put this on your lip?” You shook the tissue in your hand.
He nodded slowly and your smile nearly sent him straight to heaven. You pulled a water bottle from your purse and wet the tissue, pressing it on his lip and held onto his chin, tipping his head upright so you could see what you were doing better. Granted the tissue probably weren’t helping at all, but you had to work with what you had. 
“This looks really painful,” you murmured, fixated on the damages done to his face. He has these two pairs of twin scars on both sides of his mouth that you think are so cute. Without thinking, you let your thumb trace the diamond outline gently. You pull the tissue away from his lip and pocket it. “Does your lip hurt?”
Sanzu shook his head and you smiled. “That’s good.”
Rindou looked over at Sanzu weirdly, wondering why the loudest person in the group was suddenly so quiet. He didn’t have time to explore that train of thought deeper because Kokonoi spoke up.
“Rin, Sanzu. Ran’s on his way now. Let’s go.” He pocketed his phone and turned to you. “Thanks for the warning about the cops by the way. Really appreciate it.”
“It’s no problem.”
A black car pulled up to the curb and the window rolled down. “You three are so fucking dead,” Ran said exasperatedly. 
“As long as Mikey doesn’t find out we’re goo—” Kokonoi’s relief came crumbling down as his biggest fear came to light. The passenger seat window rolled down and Mikey’s face came into view. He didn’t look mad, honestly he didn’t look like anything. Just emotionless, but that was enough to scare the absolute shit out of Koko. “Boss, we can explain—”
“Get in the car.”
Kokonoi swallowed but obliged, his feet dragging behind him as he walked around the car to get in.
You looked back over at Sanzu who’s eyes hadn't left yours. “Guess this is goodbye. I’m (Name) by the way. What’s yours?”
Whatever reaction anyone was expecting, it wasn’t for Sanzu to completely stammer over his words, forgetting who he was, or how to form a literate sentence. “Me name? Who is—I—what, huh?”
Rindou looked at him like he grew two heads, even Mikey raised a confused brow. You pressed your lips together in a thin line to stop yourself from laughing and Sanzu’s ears burnt with humiliation. Frankly he was mortified with those being the first words he’s said to you ever. Rindou thankfully saved him from more embarrassment by grabbing the back of his collar hard.
“His name is Sanzu by the way,” he told you before dragging him towards the car, kicking him into the backseat. The door slammed shut and you watched as Rindou entered the front next to his brother and then the car pulled off, recklessly rounding the corner.
You stayed there for a minute, blinking, then smiled giddily down at the floor before making your way back to your friends inside.
~*~
“Yeah they’ve definitely got a concussion,” the nurse said, snapping her gloves off. She stepped away from the three boys at the table and handed them each plastic cups of water. “Make sure you drink plenty of water and get plenty of rest.”
“Thanks doc.” Mikey wrote her a check and she nodded, thanking him before exiting the room. He looked at the three in them in disappointment. They each had an annoying habit of crashing random parties going on in the street and getting shit faced, then turning up to work and events hungover or too exhausted. Now they have hit the final nail in the coffin by getting in a physical altercation with strangers and the police are probably looking for their asses right now.
“I have nothing to say to you three. You heard the woman, get plenty of rest,” he scolded before leaving the room.
“Who wants to bet the medical bills are coming out of our paycheck?” Rindou asked, sliding off the table. He rubbed his head exhaustedly and yawned.
“I might just have a heart attack if I see that,” Kokonoi responded, shuddering.
“That girl…” Sanzu muttered under his breath, scratching his chin.
“What?”
“That girl,” he repeated louder as if he just came to a sudden realisation, “was a fucking angel!”
“Oh. Welcome back to earth Mr. Who me is name I what?” Rindou mocked, amusement written all over his face as Sanzu rolled his eyes.
Kokonoi laughed loudly. “Oh yeah! What the fuck was that all about?”
“Shut up,” Sanzu grumbled and closed his eyes, blocking their mockery out. He tried to picture your face again behind his closed lids but the concussion was slowly getting worse and your face was starting to fade from his memory. “I need to find this girl and redeem myself. What’s her name?” he said snipply, snapping his fingers at the two boys for them to hurry up.
“Stop being a weirdo. You probably blew your chances anyway,” Rindou stated.
“Nah uh! It wasn’t that bad!”
“Who me is name I what?” Kokonoi repeated and Sanzu groaned loudly.
“Keep making fun of me whatever! But when I find her and make her my future wife I don’t want to hear shit from any of you.”
“Wow,” Kokonoi fake gasped. “You can tell your future kids the story of how you met!”
“Future wife huh?” Rindou chuckled. “So we’re just skipping past girlfriend?”
“Gotta aim big.”
Kokonoi shook his head. “That girl wants nothing to do with you.”
“Yeah? Well why did she patch me up and not you two fucking idiots then? HUH?” Sanzu gestured to his busted lip. The two boys had nothing else to say and just rolled their eyes, muttering whatever under their breath. “Exactly, shut the fuck up.”
Sanzu traced his scars with his finger. He could still feel the gentle trail of your finger on his skin and closed his eyes once more, picturing you in front of him, staring up at him with such care in your eyes as you genuinely found yourself worried at his injuries. He looked down at his knuckles, still bruised, and pictured your hand in his. He regretted not saying more to you earlier, regretted not actually having a conversation with you and telling him his injuries looked worse than they actually felt.
Sanzu stood up and Rindou called out to him. “Oi. Where the hell are you going? We’re heading back to mines.”
“I’m going back to that party to redeem myself.”
“It’s been like an hour and it’s almost three am. She’s long gone. Let it go.”
Sanzu shook his head, condescendingly clicking his tongue in a way that ground Rindou’s gears. “Don’t be jealous Rin.”
“Jealous of?”
“I got a girl that wants me for me, not my dick.”
“That’s something only a virgin would say,” Kokonoi inputs, laughing when Sanzu instantly closes his mouth. “No way, are you actually a virgin?”
“No I’m not!”
“Yes you are!”
“I’m not!”
“Who’d you lose it to?”
Sanzu scoffs. “Like anyone remembers that,”
“Okay playboy.” Rindou laughs. “I remember mine.”
“So do I,” Kokonoi high fives Rindou. The two of them look at Sanzu. “Well? What’s her name?”
“I was high. Don’t remember,” Sanzu shrugs. Rindou looks over at Koko who both equally look unimpressed. “ANYWAY! It doesn’t matter because I’m going to find that girl and redeem myself tonight.”
Kakucho enters the room. “Find what girl?”
“Redeem yourself for what?” Kokonoi asks.
Rindou laughs even louder. “Redeem himself for “Oh friend who I am what?””
Sanzu’s ears burn when Koko joins in the laughter. “Alright so just forget my question. Cool,” Kakucho rolls his eyes.
“Sanzu got us into a fight tonight and some girl helped him with his busted lip and now he thinks he’s in love.”
“I don’t think—”
“We know,” Kokonoi interrupts.
Sanzu shoots him a glare. “If you’d let me finish,” he says snarkily. “I don’t think I'm in love. I know I am.”
“In love with a girl you don’t even know the name of?” Kakucho asks hesitantly. He should be used to this by now honestly, it's not the first time Sanzu got hyper fixated over something, except in this case it's someone. In actuality, he should be worried for this girl, knowing how obsessive Sanzu gets at times. Picturing the boy in a relationship was something Kakucho just could not do no matter how hard he tries.
“I’ll find her name. You forget who I am and what I do in this goddamn organisation?”
“Aside from dragging us to useless parties and getting us involved in unnecessary fights?” Rindou asked.
“You had fun tonight, stop acting like you hated it that bad,” Sanzu complained.
“What did this girl look like?” Kakucho asks.
Sanzu describes your appearance from your height all the way down to your eye colour, recounting to his friends every single detail he managed to observe about you the entire time he spent staring at you. They all looked at him with concern.  Sanzu noticed their glare and shrugged. “What?”
“Surprised you didn’t count every single lash of hers honestly,” Kokonoi rubbed his forehead exhaustedly when his head pounded again. “This headache is killing me. Gonna head home.”
They all said goodbye and waited for him to leave the room. 
“I think I know the girl,” Kakucho said, recounting the horrifying moment of Sanzu describing you in as much detail as possible. 
“WHAT?!” Sanzu exclaimed far too loudly for his head and Rindou’s to handle, a sharp pain shooting their heads. “Ah fuck,” he groaned, rubbing his head. 
“Are you serious?” Rindou asked, looking at Kakucho who nodded.
“Yeah. Someone like that lives on my floor. I see her leaving every morning.”
“To Kakucho’s we go!” Sanzu grinned, grabbing the younger boy's hand and dragging him outside. Rindou reluctantly follows behind them, wanting to see where this situation was heading. 
Kakucho ended up being right, and when they entered the lobby of his apartment, they saw you collecting your mail. Sanzu’s feet felt frozen to the floor as he just stared at your side profile. He almost had a stroke when you turned to face in his direction, and he swore you were looking directly at him when you broke out into a smile, waving your hand.
“Hey! Haven’t seen you in a while,” you said and Sanzu was confused. It’s only been a few hours, hasn’t it? 
You were walking and he stood up a little straight when it looked like you were heading towards his direction, only for his heart to do a complete 360 when you hugged Kakucho instead. It wasn’t an affectionate hug, both your hands barely lingered on each other’s body, just an awkward side hug that lasted barely 2 seconds.
“Yeah, you know. I’ve been busy with work and stuff.”
“Ah cool cool. I’ve been collecting your mail though.” You handed him his mail. He thanked you and held them under his arm. 
You looked at two boys next to them and then gasped. “Oh its you!” You pointed between Sanzu and Rindou, who only nodded, asking how you’ve been. Sanzu was frozen again as you and Rindou gave each other basic small talk, only breaking out of his stupor when Rindou elbowed him hard in the stomach. 
You bit down a laugh when you saw Sanzu clutch onto his stomach in pain. “Oh my god, are you alright?” Sanzu could hear the laugh in your voice, but didn’t feel offended the slightest.
“I’m good, yeah. Just distracted.”
“Oh. Am I boring you?”
He was too scared of the fact you thought that about him to notice the playful hint in your voice. “No! Not at all. I just have a concussion that's all.”
“No way. Does it hurt? Are you okay?” You hesitantly lift your hand up and press it on his forehead which is burning up. “You need to get some sleep right now.”
“It’s too late to drive right now.” Kakucho says. “You two can just sleep at mine.”
“Only if I get your bed,” Sanzu adds.
“Fuck that. Sleep on the couch.”
“But I’m concussed.”
“And who’s goddamn fault is that?”
Sanzu rolled his eyes. Kakucho sighed. “Fine. You can get the bed.”
“Let’s fucking go,” Sanzu grinned and started heading towards the elevator. The other two boys followed them and Kakucho looked behind at you. 
“You coming?”
Sanzu pressed the button and turned to look at you and Kakucho as you shook your head. “No, I'm heading back out.”
“Right now?” Kakucho says and looks at his watch, “It’s almost 4 am?”
“I know,” you sigh exhaustedly. “My friend, well kinda friend, I guess wants me to come to his house. Just got his text a few minutes ago.”
“At this hour?” Kaku says sceptically.
“So a booty call?” Rindou says and gets elbowed by Kakucho, telling him to mind his business.
You laugh. “I guess if that's what you want to call it. I don’t sleep with him, he just uses me to impress his friends it feels like.” Your eyes slide over to Sanzu who has a scowl on his face and looks away almost immediately after you make eye contact. “I don’t wanna do it but he scares me so I feel like I have to.”
“What’s his name?” Kakucho asks.
“Why? You gonna hurt him?” you ask back. Though you and Kakucho are only neighbours at best, you’re well aware of what he does and his reputation around town. The Brawler is his nickname, or was, back when he was in Tenjiku. But you didn’t know what his role or job entailed, all you knew he was in some shady shit and you wanted no part of it. 
“Depends if I know the guy or not.”
You roll your eyes. “His name is Osanai.”
“Wait a minute,” Rindou says, “Is he tall? Smokes all the time, blonde hair? Kinda tan?”
“Yeah…” you say slowly, sceptically, “how’d you know?”
“We’ve actually been kinda looking for that guy. Mikey wanted to see him, didn't he?” Rindou asks Kakucho who shrugs and points over to Sanzu who’s been awfully quiet the entire time. “Didn’t he?” Rindou asks Sanzu again.
“Oh. Yes he has.” He looks up and meets your gaze one more time before looking away. 
“Where’s he at?” Rindou asks, approaching you.
“I dunno probably his house?”
“Okay but where genius.”
You give him Osanai’s address and he starts heading outside. “Wait! Don’t kill him or something.”
“Why do you care what we do? Doesn’t he scare you?”
“I mean yes but that doesnt mean I want him dead…”
Kakucho sighs. “Sanzu wait here with (y/n), me and Rindou will sort this out.”
Sanzu instantly looks at Kakucho. “Wait—”
“Just do it,” Rindou snickers before the two of them leave. Sanzu watches them go with a betrayed look on his face, already thinking of 101 different ways to kill Rindou once he got back home.  You look up at Sanzu and smile at him.
“So…you can go home if you want. I don't need a babysitter.”
“No it's fine I'll uh wait here.”
“We can go back to mine?” you ask a little hopeful.
Sanzu opens his mouth to speak but the words can't seem to come out. He resorts to nodding and you smile, taking his hand in yours and walking up to your apartment. 
~*~
Three hours in and you’ve been binging shitty movies together, laughing at the bad plot and horribly written characters. When you first saw Sanzu at the party, he was outgoing and the life of the room honestly. Maybe your opinion is a bit biased because you were focused on nothing but him, but he had this energy that attracted you to him. Now, in front of you, he’s nothing like he was a few hours ago, he seems shy and reserved, keeping to himself but he’s still funny and cracks a few jokes that make you cackle every now and then.
“Wait you got a little, i’ll get it for you,” you say, cupping his chin and turning his face to you. He watches you with wide eyes as your thumb comes up to his lip and wipes some tomato sauce off. you make continuous eye contact with him as you bring your thumb to your mouth and lick the sauce off the tip. Then, you almost give the guy a heart attack when you go back in with your wet thumb and wipe the remnants of the sauce on the corner of his mouth. 
His pizza flops in his hand and something else rises in his pants as you pull back, sitting reasonably closer than you did before, resting your head on his shoulder, continuing to watch the movie. It’s hard for him to even focus on the TV with you sitting this close to him right now. He can smell your shampoo, your perfume, can feel your body heat warming him up and he’s actually going to pass out if you continue clinging to his arm like that. He clears his throat and shifts in his seat a little, hoping his boner goes down and praying you don’t see it. 
Just to be on the safe side, he nonchalantly grabs a couch cushion and places it on his lap, claiming he's cold. You don’t buy it one bit but only smirk at the hidden implications. You let out a fake yawn and shift even closer to him, bringing your feet onto the couch, shifting into a lying position. 
You look up at Sanzu and smile slightly. “Is this okay with you?” you ask, batting your eyes at him.
“Y-yea. It's fine. cool.” He swallows thickly and turns to look back at the TV.
The cushion gets in the way and you click your tongue, sitting upright and almost bashing him in the jaw with your head. You toss the cushion away and Sanzu's about to protest before you lay back down, your head only inches away from his crotch. His erection was going down slowly but now it might as well sprung back up. 
“Oh wait a second,” you said, sitting upright and Sanzu almost panicked when you pointed down at his crotch. “You okay?”
“I—sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“No, it's fine,” you laugh. “These things are uncontrollable, I know.” Sanzu sighs in relief. “Do you need any help?” you ask and he blinks at you.
“What?”
“Nevermind,” you clear your throat. “That was a dumb question.”
“No wait!” he says abruptly, making you jump. “I mean, yeah, if you don’t mind.”
“Really?” you perk up a little. 
“Yeah I guess.”
You move to sit next to him, your head only inches away from his. “This is gonna sound a bit creepy but,” your eyes drop to his lips, “I’ve been wanting to do this since I saw you tonight.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” you say absentmindedly, distracted as you ran your finger over his scars. “Thought you were so pretty.”
“Pretty…?”
“Yeah, you’re really pretty Sanzu.”
He bites his lip, fighting the urge to look away from your intense eyes in the dark. You’re leaning in closer and his eyes close and then he feels your lips pressing against his. It starts off with short pecks that linger a little too long before you're actively moving your lips against his. Your hand cups his face and you pull him closer, sucking on his lips and entering your tongue into his mouth. He moans softly when your fingers find their way to his hair, scratching gently at his scalp.
You pull away and plaster kisses to his neck, gently pushing him down onto the couch, your body basically straddling him as you kiss down his throat.
His body feels hot and he can't focus anywhere  but your lips going down his body. Your fingers grab the seam of his shirt and your lips tickle against his skin as you mutter, “Take this off.”
He obediently does as he’s told and lifts his arms up as you help him remove the shirt. You toss it on the other couch and sit upright to examine his chest. His abs were faint but visibly and you bit your lip, running your finger along his chest.
He stares up at you as you look distracted at the sight of his bare chest. You make eye contact and smirk a little before lifting your shirt up and over your head. His eyes go wide at the sight of you in your bra. You go back down and kiss down his stomach, fingers moving to unzip his jeans and pull them down.
“Wait wait wait!” You freeze and look up at the boy in front of you, tilting your head in confusion. He swallows thickly. “I haven't…done this before.”
Your eyes widen in surprise. “Really?”
“Shocking, I know.”
“Oh. It really is. I thought girls would be all over a guy like you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like I said before, you’re really pretty Sanzu.” He instantly looks away and you laugh. “You’re shyer than I expected Sanzu. At the party you were really loud and stuff, I didn't expect this. It’s cute.”
“I’m not shy.”
“You said less than 100 words to me tonight and we’ve been hanging out for almost four hours.”
“...”
You laugh and sit upright, leaning back in to kiss him. “Do you still want me to…” Your fingers trail down his body, rubbing the outline of his cock in his briefs.
“If you want to.”
“I obviously do, that's why I'm asking you.”
“Sure then.”
You give him one last kiss before settling back between his lips. His cock has never felt more sensitive than in this moment when your fingers wrap around his cock, pulling it free from his boxers. It stands tall against your face and you lick the tip, not ceasing eye contact. He feels obligated to watch you suck his cock and desperately wants to look away because he knows he will bust in less than ten seconds if you keep staring at him like that.
You take him in your mouth and he moans so loudly, the sound soft and heavenly. You smile around him and begin to suction your cheeks as you take him lower. Your tongue swirled around his shaft every time you bobbed. He was throbbing inside you, your heavy eye contact and warm mouth making him grow harder.
He finally broke the eye contact to throw his head back, a long groan of “fuccccckkkkkkk,” leaving his mouth as he placed his hand on your head, bobbing you up and down. You moaned when his hips bucked up into you.
You pull off his cock and jerk him off, his words dying in his throat when he feels your tongue lick his balls, sucking gently on them.
He sits up and holds the back of your head, his fingers digging into your scalp as he pants heavily. Your eyes squeeze shut as you focus on pleasuring him, putting your mouth back onto his cock and taking him deeper than you did before, your fingers gently massaging his balls.
“I’m gonna—fuck, i’m coming,” he groans and without warning holds the back of your head, pressing you down and came inside your throat. 
Honestly you were shocked he lasted this long. Your body felt so warm and hot hearing his pretty moans, and the sight of him with his mouth open, head thrown back was something you’d never forget. His grip on your head ceased and you pulled off his cock, eyes teary and watery and mouth full of cum.
“Oh shit,” he mutters, watching you take a minute before swallowing. His dick twitches again. Without thinking, his thumb comes up to the corner of your lip and wipes a stray drop of cum. Before he can remove his thumb, your head turns and you suck the tip of it. “You’re actually trying to kill me, aren’t you,” he groans and you giggle around his thumb.
“Are you a virgin too if you’d never gotten head before?” 
He nods shamefully and you can’t help but kiss him again. “Want me to take it?” you ask, forehead resting against his.
He blinks at you before not-so-subtly dropping his eyes down to your cleavage. “yeah.”
You grin and push him back down onto his back, slipping off the couch. He watches you strip down naked, your bra and panties are tossed to the opposite couch. Thanks to the help of the tv, your body is still a shadow but the outline of your body makes him instantly hard again. You climb back on top of him.
His hands migrate to your hips, and with absolutely zero confidence with what he’s doing, his hand slides towards your clit and you gasp when his thumb snakes its way to your folds. “You’re really wet.”
You squirm, slightly embarrassed but bite your lip, amusement in your voice as you say, “Yeah…that’s supposed to happen.”
“I know that,” he grumbles, still rubbing your clit in circles, wetting his fingers with your arousal. “I’m not an idiot.”
He pulls his hand away and you grab his wrist, guiding his finger into his mouth, watching him suck your juices off his fingers. “God that’s hot,” you pull his fingers out and lean back down to kiss him.
“I'm going to get condoms,” you say against his lips before pulling away. He nods and watches you head down the hallway when his phone buzzes. 
rindou: we found osanai so we’re heading back right now
sanzu: hell no just go home 
rindou: ???? walk home then tf
sanzu: don't think that's an issue honestly think i might be sleeping over if you know what i mean ;)
rindou: what? you’re getting laid? YEAH RIGHT
sanzu: IM NOT LYING
rindou: i never once ever in my entire life found you funny but you’re telling some good jokes right now
sanzu: 1) im always funny, 2) im serious.  i would send you proof but then you’d see my dick and thats gross
rindou: would rather bleach my eyeballs honestly. you could barely look this girl in the eye and you really expect me to believe you’re fucking her?
“I’m back!” you call out making sanzu jump. “What’re you doing on your phone?” you ask, snatching it from his hands and reading the messages. 
It’s a miracle it’s dark right now because Sanzu doesn’t know what he’ll do if you saw him blushing from embarrassment right now.
“He’s fucking rude. Why doesn’t he believe you?” you huff, handing him his phone back before your face lights up. “Wanna show him?”
“Show him what…” He hopes you’re not heading in the direction you’re so obviously going. 
“You know what I mean, c’mere.” You sit back against the couch and pull up the camera app on his phone. You hold the phone out in front of you, “Stick your tongue out.” 
He does so and you stick yours out also, just barely grazing his as you snap a bunch of pictures. You take a couple more in different poses, putting your lips in a kissy face and kissing his cheek, his lips and resting your forehead against his as you smile at the camera. 
You sit upright and scroll through the photos, smiling at each of them. “Send these to me after yeah.” You toss the phone behind you and rip open the condom. You reach behind you and slip it easily down his shaft before aligning it with your pussy. “Ready?”
“Yeah…” The tip nudges your clit before slipping inside, warm heat instantly engulfing the tip of his cock and his mouth falls open, panting breathily as you continue sinking downwards, watching the pleasured look on your face as your pussy squelches trying to accommodate his entire length.
“Oh fuck,” you whimper, fixing your hands onto his chest for support. You bounce experimentally, ripping another moan from your throat it sinks you a little lower. 
“Shit, shit—wait,” He digs his nails into the fat of your ass cushioned against his thighs.
“Sanzu,” you moan, collapsing down onto his chest, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He can hear your breathy pants beside his ear, sending shivers down his spine.
“You feel so fucking good,” He huffs against your ear and you sit upright, pushing your arms behind you to his knees and start swiveling your hips in circles that turn to full on bouncing on his cock. 
His eyes are focused on your tits that swing in motion with your movements and he can’t help but lift you up and down on his cock. “Fuck,” He gropes and squeezes your cheeks as you whimper, clenching around his cock with every bounce.
“Touch me please,” you whimper, looking down at him, grabbing one of his hands and bringing them up to your tits. He squeezes it and runs his thumb along your nipple, sending ripples of pleasure through your body, giving you more motivation to continue bouncing.
“Wait, slow down— oh fuck.” His body was tense, and you were sure he was leaving fingernail shaped dent marks on your hip with how tight his grip was. His cock felt so good, having a slight tilt to it that hit that spot no other guy had been able to reach. You couldn’t stop bouncing, his words falling on deaf ears.
“Wait wait wait stop,” he gasped, his grip getting tighter, bringing you to a stop. Wasting no time, you lean back down and begin kissing along his jaw as he catches his breath, impatiently wiggling your hips just to feel something. “I just came,” he admitted.
You froze and shot up, looking down at him. “For real?” he nodded, wiping a shameful hand over his face. “That's so cute,” you giggle and kiss him. 
You lifted yourself up and off his cock and laid down on top of him. “Did you like it?” you ask, tracing your finger along his chest.
“Yeah, it felt so good.”
“Yay,” you smiled bashfully.
“You didn’t finish though.”
“Eh it's not a big deal. I wanted to make you feel good.”
“Still though…” he mutters, pouting at the fact he didn’t make you feel as good as he felt. 
His phone buzzed and he sat upright to grab it. 
rindou: having fun loverboy??? u busy humping her pillow to text me back? asshole
Sanzu scoffs and you lean your head against his shoulder and read the messages. “Send him the photos.”
He turns to look at you, your lips almost brushing against his in the process. “You sure? You’re kinda naked in them.”
“I don't really care. It’s just a boob. You can crop it out if you’re that worried.”
“Okay…” He crops your chest out of the photo and stares down at the photos once more. He's never deleting these. He sends three different photos to Rindou, not even bothering to caption them and turns his phone off, waiting for his response.
“Oh wait! Gimme your phone!” You hold your hand out as he hands it to you. 
“What’re you doing?”
“Adding my number,” you hum and add your number to his contacts, adding a heart after his name. You’re never usually this forward, but you knew you wanted Sanzu from the moment you saw him, and you weren’t going to let him slip away. “Call me when you get home. okay?” Your forehead brushes against his and your eyes dart down to his lips, fighting the urge to kiss them.
“Okay.”
You give into temptation and kiss him slowly. Your thumbs traced along his jawline as you hum, almost lazily enticing your tongue with his. His hands ran teasingly along your body, cupping your ass and pulling you back on top of him.
The doorbell rang and you sat upright, cursing under your breath. “I’ll get it.” You press one more kiss to his lips and slip off the couch to re-dress. Your shirt was backwards and your pants were inside out, but you didn’t care as you answered the door with a cheery, “yes?”
Kakucho rubbed his forehead with a world heavy sigh and you instantly felt all colour drain from your face. He was with Rindou and probably saw the photos. “How can I help you Kaku?”
“Just…just tell Sanzu to come on, let’s go.”
Sanzu appears behind you,redressed, and gives you a hug goodbye, his arms lingering around your form for much longer than Kakucho considered friendly. You pull away and whisper in his ear for him to call you when he gets home. He nods and you plant another kiss to the corner of his mouth.
Sanzu is about to deepen the kiss before Kakucho grabs him by the back of his shirt and tugs him out of your apartment. 
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faithshouseofchaos · 13 days ago
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Blanket fort — Lando Norris x reader
Fluff
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Tagging - @astraeaworld @ashy-kit @alwayzbeenale @67-angelofthelordme-67 @amatswimming @a-casual-romantic @bblouifford @badassturtle13 @bbtoni i @barcelonaloverf1life e @charlesf1leclerc @charlesgirl16 @crashingwavesofeuphoria @dreamyreveriie @clowngirlsstuff @dark-night-sky-99 @dudenhaaa27 @eugene-emt-roe @embrosegraves @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @llando4norris @hangmandruigandmav @hollie911 @jeffs77 @ironcowboycopnickel @lipringlrh @lightdragonrayne @lollypop90907 @laura-naruto-fan1998 @moss-on-tmblr @natailiatulls07 @omgsuperstarg g @oconswrld @otako5811 @purplephantomwolf @scotlynaurora @toasttt11 1 @uluvjay @vellicora @venusisnothere @anedpev @thenerdysimp
Lando opened the door to his apartment, letting out a tired sigh as he set down his keys. He was expecting a quiet evening with Y/N after a long day, but as he glanced around, he immediately noticed something unusual.
The lights were dimmed, casting a warm glow throughout the room, and in the middle of the living room was a makeshift fort—complete with blankets draped over chairs and pillows piled inside. Twinkling fairy lights were woven into the blankets, making it look like a cozy, magical hideaway. A projector was set up in front of the fort, aimed at the blank wall where an old favorite movie of his was paused, ready to start.
Y/N popped her head out of the fort, grinning at his surprised expression. “Happy Birthday, Lando!” she called, waving him over.
A smile spread across his face as he took it all in. “No way… Did you build this?”
“Yep!” She looked a little too proud of herself as she scooted back, patting the space beside her. “I figured you could use a night to relax, so I brought back the ultimate childhood comfort: blanket fort, movies, and snacks.”
Lando laughed, kicking off his shoes and crawling into the fort beside her. “I haven’t done this since I was a kid. This is amazing!”
Y/N leaned forward, handing him a bowl of popcorn. “Thought you might like it. I even brought all your favorites: popcorn, brownies, gummy bears, and….” She reached over, pulling out a bottle of soda, “the super sugary stuff you pretend not to drink anymore.”
Lando grinned, taking the soda from her. “You know me too well.”
They settled in, blankets piled high around them as the movie started playing. Y/N kept glancing at Lando out of the corner of her eye, watching as he got lost in the movie, his face lighting up with every funny or nostalgic moment.
At one point, he caught her watching him and nudged her with his elbow. “You’re staring,” he teased.
She rolled her eyes, chuckling. “Can you blame me? You look like a little kid right now.”
“Well, I have you to thank for that,” he said, leaning in to plant a kiss on her cheek. “Best birthday ever, by the way.”
As the night went on, they stayed curled up in the fort, sharing stories about their childhoods. Lando recounted wild tales of go-kart races gone wrong, and Y/N told him about her misadventures building forts with her siblings.
Lando looked at her, smiling softly. “You really went all out with this, didn’t you?”
She shrugged, a little bashfully. “I just wanted to make you happy.”
“You did.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. “And I mean it—you seriously outdid yourself. I didn’t even know you could make a fort this sturdy.”
“Oh, please. This is an engineering marvel,” she joked, feigning pride. “We could probably live in here if we wanted to.”
He chuckled, resting his head against hers. “Well, let’s at least stay here a bit longer.”
They settled back into a comfortable silence, watching the movie as the twinkling lights cast a warm glow around them. By the time the credits rolled, Y/N had dozed off, her head resting on Lando’s shoulder. He looked down at her, feeling a warmth he couldn’t quite put into words.
Not wanting to wake her, he stayed put, perfectly content, thinking that if he could freeze time, this would be the moment he’d choose to stay in forever. With a soft smile, he whispered, “Thanks for making today special.”
Y/N stirred, smiling sleepily up at him. “Anything for you, birthday boy.”
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solarsturniolo · 11 months ago
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𝖂𝖊’𝖗𝖊 𝕵𝖚𝖘𝖙 𝕱𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖘 // 𝕸.𝕾. // 𝔗𝔴𝔬
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𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: Matt is so 'sweet best friend that secretly jerks off to your pictures' coded (idea credit to @heartstreet )
𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: SMUT!!! / masturbation / voyeurism / post nut clarity / self-deprecation / intentional lowercase
𝔇𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔩𝔞𝔦𝔪𝔢𝔯: these stories are fictional :)
𝔚𝔬𝔯𝔡 ℭ𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 3030
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It slowly became a habit. It started small, one time a day if even that. But what started as a habit grew into an addiction. Every little thing set him off, and the only thing to satisfy the desire in him was her. He needed her in ways that he couldn’t even describe. He hungered for her. 
It began with pictures, just her regular little posts on Instagram and Snapchat that had no hidden undertone to them, but every single one would have Matt beating his dick until his arm was sore. She had Pavloved him. The second he got the notification that his best friend posted, his cock stiffened and his ears got red and hot just thinking about what could be waiting for him. It didn’t matter where he was or what he was doing, he’d drop everything, all of his attention would be on her in an instant. Today was no different; he had already beat off three times in the few hours he had been awake.
As the day moved forward, and he found the inner strength to keep his dick in his pants, Matt remembered telling her that he’d look for the charger she had left when she stayed over a few nights ago. He spent a solid hour that afternoon searching the house up and down for her phone charger; his room, the living room, the kitchen, Nick’s room, hell, he even checked Chris’s room (despite Chris’s many protests followed by a shoe being launched at Matt’s shin), though he still came up empty handed. 
Matt went back to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. He took a seat in his desk chair, rolling himself close enough to his desk to click his monitor on, grabbing the controller that had been set aside on his desk to charge. He turned his gaming console on, the sound of it whirring to life filling the silence in the room. He reached into his pocket, taking his phone out to send her a quick text.
‘i may have lost it’
‘your mind?’
‘no’
‘your keys?’
‘no’
‘OMG’
‘?’
‘YOUR V CARD?????’
‘WHAT NO’
‘omg matty who is she 🤭🤭🤭🤭’
‘I DID NOT’
‘then i fear i do not know what you could be talking about, for i am not a mind reader’
‘your weird’
‘you’re*’
‘i actually hate you.’
‘stfu you love me. now what are u talking abt’
‘you’re charger’
‘your*’
‘you know what 😀’
‘LMAOOOO don’t blow a fuse, it’s a $10 charger i’ll just get another one. thank u for letting me know tho’
‘ofc’
He stared at the screen, his heart beating faster when he saw the read receipt pop up under his message. He waited, taking his bottom lip between his teeth as she began to type. A smile tugged at his lips as the typing message bubble disappeared, waiting for the message to pop up on his screen.
A minute passed. Then two. Still nothing. Matt’s smile faltered a little.
‘?’
‘oh shit i didn’t know you were still here’
‘what we’re you typing?’
‘were*’
‘😀 nevermind i don’t care’
‘noooo matty come back 😂’
‘i’ll get it right one day’
‘i have full faith in you, matthew. until then, im gonna be up your ass about it’
‘so…?’
‘so what?’
‘what were you typing?’
Matt could hardly sit still. His leg bounced anxiously, he bit his nails impatiently. She had been typing for a while, was it something bad? Shit, have i fucked up recently and just didn’t notice?
‘nothing 😇’
‘you’re a dirty liar’
‘😜’
‘cmon, i’m youre best friend tell meeeee’
‘your*’
‘GET A NEW BEST FRIEND’
‘okay okay i’m done 😂 you’re so easy to tease’
‘Ayo 🤨’
‘not like that 🙄
‘well, you probably are pretty easy to tease like that too”
Matt choked on his own saliva. Did I read that right? He read it again, the blood rushing from his cheeks to his cock. His brain short circuited. Any possible responses that he could’ve came up with dissolved into nothingness. He spent two minutes trying to type a witty comeback or some sort of smooth flirtatious reply, but when push came to shove, all he could build the courage to send was-
‘what?’
She started typing, and as the speech bubble floated in the corner of his screen, Matt palmed at the bulge in his sweats. His mind raced with thoughts, all wondering what she could have possibly been thinking about. Fuck, does she think about doing things with me? Does she want to tease me? How would she even-
The speech bubble disappeared. Matt slipped his hand under the waistband of his sweatpants and his boxers, taking his hard cock in his fist. He stroked his shaft slowly, his eyes fluttering shut while he pursed his lips to hold back a moan. He waited for her response to pop up. One minute…then two…then five. He furrowed his eyebrows, his strokes slowly coming to a stop as he eyed their text messages. Why isn’t she responding? Did I make her uncomfortable? Is she weirded out?
His heart nearly dropped out of his ass when the facetime notification illuminated his screen. Without thinking to take his hand out of his pants, Matt quickly answered the call.
It took a moment for the call to connect, but when it finally did, Matt felt almost frozen in place. His heart skipped a beat, his face grew flushed with a warm rosy heat. She smiled at him and his breath caught in his throat.
“Hey!”
Matt smiled. “Hey, what’s up.”
“What, I can’t call my best friend out of the blue just to hang out?” She laughed softly. “What are you up to?” She asked.
“Just, yknow…” he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders a bit. “Was playing fortnite for a bit-“
She tilted her head to the side a little, furrowing her eyebrows. “I didn’t see you online. I would’ve joined you if I knew,” she grinned. “Can’t believe you played without me,” she playfully rolled her eyes.
Matt swallowed. Her eyes looked so pretty rolled back into her head like that, I could watch her do that for hours. Matt slowly stroked his cock, pursing his lips tightly to keep himself quiet. ‘Can’t believe you played without me’ replayed in his head like a broken record. His mind wandered off, thinking about the beautiful girl on his screen sitting on his bed. Her clothes discarded onto the floor mindlessly, seated on his bare thighs. Matt bit the inside of his cheek, pre-cum drooling from the tip of his cock as he imagined her pretty manicured fingers circling her clit, her eyes hooded and full of lust as lewd sounds spilled from her parted lips. His dick ached at the thought of her running her fingers through her wet folds, playing with herself in front of him, on full display just for him. ‘Can’t believe you played without me,’ her voice repeated in his head again, his mouth going dry as he thought of her looking at him with a pout while saying this, her pretty doe eyes staring at him with nothing but desire hidden behind their gaze.
He kept his strokes slow and controlled. This is so fucking wrong, he thought. If she knew…he couldn’t even think of the possibilities. She’d be disgusted, she’d be so upset. Matt would never be able to show his face in a public setting again.
“How was your day?” Matt asked in a soft voice, afraid that if he spoke any louder, his own voice would betray him. He watched as the smile on her face grew and he felt his heart twinge. This is so wrong. What the fuck is wrong with me.
“Aww Matty, you do care!” She teased. Matt let out a breathy chuckle, hoping she couldn’t hear the rasp in his voice. She began to list off the many side quests she endured on her day off from work, and Matt listened to every single thing she had to say. His eyes focused on her lips as she spoke to him. Her lips are so pretty. Fuck, I wanna kiss her so bad. I wanna feel her lips on mine. She’d look so fucking pretty with my dick in her mouth. I wonder how much she’d be able to take. Would I have to fuck her throat to make it all fit? Would she drool on my cock while I fuck her pretty mouth?
“Matt?”
He tugged at his cock, letting out a soft exhale when he heard her voice. Please say my name again. Say my name again. It sounds so pretty coming from you, I’ve never liked my name more than when it’s being said by you. His mind wandered off once more. What positions does she like? Would she prefer missionary? She’d look so pretty under me while I fuck her, her tits would bounce so nicely with every thrust I make. Or would she want something more intense? Would she want me to take her from behind? Would she want to be in charge? What turns her on? Does she wear lingerie?
“Matt…?”
Matt grunted softly under his breath, the speed of his strokes increasing just barely enough to tell. He focused his attention back on the call. “H-Huh?”
“I asked what you did today,” she repeated. “Did you have a good day?”
It took a moment for her words to register in his brain, his mind foggy with lust and desire, his cock dripping with arousal. He gave his shaft a gentle squeeze, a low growl forming at the back of his throat. “It’s much better now,” he admitted, earning a giggle from her in return. He smiled. He loved being able to make her laugh. It was something that most people couldn’t do, but Matt did it so effortlessly. He took pride in it; even his brothers couldn’t make her laugh nearly as easily as Matt could. “Didn’t do much, just-“ he stopped, trying to think of something to say other than ‘i sat around beating off to your pictures all day’. He cleared his throat, a moan threatening to escape as the warmth in the pit of his tummy grew. “Just stayed in bed all day.”
She rolled her eyes again, and Matt felt his balls grow heavy with arousal, his thumb rubbing at his tip with each slow stroke he made. Matt’s lips parted; he wanted to moan so bad. He wanted her to see what she does to him. He wanted her to know just how badly he wanted her. His eyes became glossy as he lost himself in a daze, staring at her through the screen.
“Are you okay? You’re acting weird.”
Matt nodded, still not taking his hand out of his pants. This is so fucking wrong. Why am I doing this? I’m risking our entire friendship. “Hey, I uh- I gotta go,” Matt stated abruptly. He didn’t want to go. He never wanted to go a minute without her, but if he didn’t leave the call soon, he’d end up in a world of trouble for sure.
“Oh…okay, well call me ba-“
Click.
Matt dropped his phone down onto his desk and leaned back in his desk chair, his shaggy hair falling in front of his eyes, strands of his hair sticking to his forehead as a thin layer of sweat began to form at his brow. He pushed his sweats and boxers down just enough to free his cock, a moan escaping him. He tugged the bottom of his sweatshirt and t-shirt up so as to not ruin it, a ritual that had become engraved into his brain from the regular reoccurrence of it. He grunted softly, tugging at his shaft desperately, his eyes screwing shut.
I need her. I need to have her, all of her. I need to feel her and taste her. I want to be between her legs, I want to taste how sweet she is, I want to watch her fall apart from just my tongue. I want to feel her squirm and run her fingers through my hair. I want to hear her whine and beg for more. Matt fisted at his cock, his strokes much faster than before. His breathing was uneven and heavy, almost panting like an animal. He needed her, he hungered for her, he craved her. Something about it was so primal. Every time he saw her or heard her, he had a full body reaction, one that he couldn’t control even if he wanted to.
Although, he really didn’t want to.
“Fuck, baby,” he groaned. As if on cue, his phone vibrated on his desk. His eyes fluttered open, a lustful dazed look glazing over his irises. He picked up his phone, a notification from snapchat flashing on his screen. Never ceasing his strokes, Matt opened the app and clicked on the new snap from her. His jaw went slack, pumping his cock in his fist even faster than before. He stared at her photo for much longer than he should have, but how could he not? She had her head tilted a bit, a confused look on her face with the words ‘not even a goodbye? so mean, matty’ printed across the photo.
“Fuck me,” he whimpered. She looks so cute when she’s confused. Fuck, the things I would do to paint her face with my cum while she looks at me like that…I’d probably get put on the FBI watchlist. He knew he needed to reply back soon, not wanting her to assume he was ignoring her. He just couldn’t bring himself to tap out of the photo. His cock ached, the desire building up inside of him. “Fuck, p-please,” he breathed out. Matt threw his head back, his strokes getting impossibly faster with each passing moment. Pre-cum oozed from his tip, his fist slick with his arousal.
Another snapchat notification from her came through and Matt inhaled sharply, tapping out of the photo and clicking on the new one. Matt choked out a whine, the muscles in his bicep tightening as he began to reach his high. “Fuck-“ he grunted. His breath caught in his throat as his mind went blank, pleasure coursing through his veins. It was like a drug to him. He couldn’t get enough of the feeling; It didn’t take long for him to get addicted to it, and soon enough once a day turned into twice a day, which turned into three times a day, which turned into too many fucking times to count.
He groaned, a string of vowels passing his lips, his jaw hanging low as he watched his cum spurt from his tip. He breathed in short heavy pants, slowing his strokes to ride out his orgasm. Five ribbons of white hot cum painted his lower stomach. His dick throbbed from the intensity of his orgasm and his body shivered as he slowly came down from his high.
It took a handful of minutes for Matt to realign his senses. His chest rose and fell with even breaths, his dick rested in the puddle of cum on his abdomen. He looked at his hand, his mess coating his fingers and his palm. I wonder if she’d lick my hand clean. Would she suck on my fingers? Would she look up at me with her infamous puppy dog eyes while she does it?
His eyes darted back to his phone, his heart racing as he quickly remembered that he still hadn’t replied to her. He groaned softly upon seeing her pretty face on his screen, her previous snap still on full display for him. He took another moment to admire her before tapping out of the photo. Matt quickly fixed his hair with his clean hand, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his forearm. He picked his phone back up and quickly snapped a photo of himself. He typed a response before sending it to her.
'Relax I'm here.'
'You costed me my battle royale.'
Matt waited for a response, not caring about the mess that still hadn’t been attended to. The nerves in his brain lit up like a Christmas tree as she opened his snap, the endorphins filling him with dopamine as she sent back another photo. He was quick to open it, not caring if she caught on to his eagerness.
'lol you're stupid. call me back when you're done :)'
He tucked his cock back into his boxers, pulling them back up along with his sweats. He stood up, holding the bottom seam of his shirt up, quickly making his way to the bathroom to clean himself up. He peeked out into the hallway, making sure Nick and Chris weren’t anywhere near before slipping into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
Matt cringed at the sticky feeling on his hand, quickly turning on the faucet at the sink, running his hand under the water to rinse most of his mess down the drain. He dried his hand, then grabbed a handful of tissues, cleaning up the rest of his cum before discarding the used tissues into the waste bin. He let his shirt fall down to cover his torso, his eyes landing on his reflection in the mirror. His gaze darted away, disgusted with what he saw.
You’re a terrible friend. If she ever found out, you’d be lucky to not have a restraining order against you. What the fuck is wrong with you. How can you even call yourself her best friend. You don’t deserve her.
He left the bathroom in a hurry, slipping back into his room, gently kicking the door shut behind him. He sat back down at his desk, picking up his phone once again.
Without a second thought, he opened his facetime app, clicking on her contact. The phone only rang twice before she answered, her pretty face illuminating the screen after the call connected. Matt offered her a warm smile, propping his phone up on his desk. “Sorry I hung up on you before,” he mumbled softly, scratching the back of his neck as his gaze landed on her. He picked his headset up off of his desk, holding it for her to see. “Wanna run duos with me?”
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𝔄𝔲𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔯'𝔰 𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢: omg guys, what do we think is gonna happen?
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𝔗𝔞𝔤𝔰:
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kneelingshadowsalome · 1 year ago
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Oh GOD, breeding kink with Ghost but he's actually determined to get his darling pregnant because after everything they've been through together, how much he loves her and vice versa? I could go on but it's just something to think about. I also strongly believe he'd be that kind of girl dad heheh
Couldn't Love You More (Ghost x F!Reader)
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Left pic credit: @ vhenan_virabelasan on IG
Word count: 3.7 k
Tags/warnings: Tooth-rotting FLUFF. Mild, soft smut 🔞, crying (from joy), breeding kink (obv), comfort no hurt. All the softness and love.
A/N: Excuse me, more soft!Ghost coming through! I hope you like this take anon 💕
"I'm tired of using those things."
Simon rarely whispers, hardly ever murmurs, and never coos. But this time, his voice is deliberately soft. 
You sigh and put the condom package down on the table. This evening had been a nice change, a pampering for your poor, stressed-out nerves. He had done his best to take your mind off work ever since he got home: he took you out for a 3-course dinner – which reminded you of the early days of your dating – and it was all supposed to end in a good stress relief of a fuck.
You'd sent him suggestive texts all morning, knowing he was coming home today. Those messages were extra naughty because you happened to be ovulating, and juicy, and horny as hell.
And you know he has waited for this moment as well. Which is why you can't get your head around why he wants to raise the subject of using other methods of contraception right before you're about to have sex. 
Why would he suddenly start complaining when both of you are already naked – practically seconds before you're about to roll down the condom for him?
"You know I've tried, Simon," you sigh again – you don't even bother to disguise the annoyance in your voice. After all, you've tried basically everything to make it more pleasurable for you to make love without the risk of getting knocked up. You hate the rubber between the two of you just as much as he does, if not more. Apparently you need to remind him how the last attempt with the pill went.
"I become a bloated monster," you say, realizing you're pouting only when he laughs.
You absolutely love it when he does: it's a rare thing, even with you. Even after all these years of love and dedication, the warm, husky chuckle at the back of his throat makes your heart flutter and your head feel dizzy.
"That's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean…?"
The man has a tiny twinkle in his eyes, and the flutter in your heart turns into something heavier, more serious. He looks you up and down as if to weigh whether you're ready to take in what he's about to say.
"How about we just ditch the bloody things?"
Your heart is truly getting it today: it skips a beat or two from what he says. From what he implies.
"But you…” you whisper, still unsure if you're truly discussing the same thing here. “You said that kids are a bad idea." 
"They are." 
The twinkle in those eyes turns into an amused gleam, the corner of his mouth lifts up a bit from seeing you so shocked. 
And Simon never said he didn't want children.
It's just that he has avoided the subject like it's a seasonal flu he doesn't want to catch. 
He would make the perfect father: you just know it. Sad to say, but it was one of the main reasons you fell for this man. It's stupid, but it's true: women look for these things. They can tell if a guy would be a good choice for a father. They notice safety, security, the willingness to support and provide.
Biology and instincts be damned, you simply can't deny that Simon is the first man who made you think about what it would be like to have children. And of course the perfect candidate for a father thought that kids were a bad idea…
It seemed like a cruel joke, the way he brushed you off when you first approached him with your shy request. You pussyfooted around the subject, were as delicate as one can be, knowing it might make him uncomfortable. 
And it did. It more than just did.
He freaked the fuck out, went to work, and worked himself nearly to death – literally almost got himself killed, and you understood that this was serious. His childhood, his past, the dangers of his work – of course he thought himself unfit for the role.
Infuriatingly, it only made you more convinced that he was the perfect choice. The man was just so fricking responsible.
You barred your mouth shut after that. Instinct told you Simon might just leave if you continued the talk about having kids. Not because he couldn't take it, but because he would want to give you a chance to find someone to raise a family with before it was too late. 
It was his view of unconditional love: he was ready to let you go if need be. He would set you free if he suspected it would make you happy.
But then you saw him look at tiny kids – usually the ones that had just learned to walk – with a fleeting longing in his stare. It always turned into a withdrawn sulk, the gaze of a man who has accepted his fate.
He seemed to have the softest spot for little girls, especially when they were laughing and giggling or being unruly rascals, and sometimes flinched when a baby started to cry in the store. He looked a bit distressed for a second, and not because of the noise – but because he couldn't locate the immediate source and go and calm the baby. 
That's when you realized he actually wanted kids. The biological clock on this man was ticking just as furiously as yours. 
Years passed, and you silently buried your dreams of raising a little family together. He was enough for you, more than enough: you would not break up because of this. No man could ever replace Simon. 
But it still hurt. It was like a wound that never healed.
Until this night…
This night, it seemed he would not only cure it but heal it so well it wouldn’t even leave a scar. 
You suddenly find yourself under him – his moves are so quick that it's almost like you're teleported there. He sometimes does that: lets you play with him for a while, have your fun on top before reminding you who is in control here.
And this time, he won't even let you play.
"Simon, what are you doing," you sigh with barely concealed exhilaration. 
As if you didn't know exactly what he is about to do. 
He looks at you with that possessive look he sometimes has when you two have been apart for far too long. And there's something more behind that stare. It tells you that this is serious; this means business. The package you placed on the nightstand remains unopened and, apparently, will be the witness to his mission tonight. 
Serves the damn thing right…
You take in the absolute beef of this man: the bulk of pecs above you, the wide, solid middle that nearly swallows you every time you're under him.
You almost disappear between him and the mattress when you two are doing missionary, and it's one of the best feelings in the world. You've wanted to sink your teeth in to those huge, solid shoulders for god knows how many times. Once or twice, you actually did give him a little bite, only a nib, really, during a good pounding – and giggled at the breathless grunt of "Hey" that followed.
The trail of hair, darker in tone compared to the hair on his head, spreads over his abs which rest under a thin layer of fat. The happy trail, as you call it, runs down until it meets the heavy cock that always makes your mouth water like it's your favorite meal.
His hand is weighty, adoring when it comes to rest on your waist – the callous of his palms feels just the right kind of rough as he gives you the softest squeeze and a caress.
And he must know from the wanton looks you gave him all evening that he can just walk right in. Probably knew from those texts already that you've been wet all day long.
You try to spread your legs wider than they can go as he grabs himself to be positioned to your entrance. The fat tip of him feels heavy on your folds as he lazily slides himself up and down your slit, teasing the opening but not going in. It feels heavenly to sense him, all of him, with nothing there between you. There's no lifeless rubber: just his thick velvet meeting your wetness and silk.
The darned man won't even answer your question… Probably knows it's not really a question, just an astonished sigh of love.
"It's…not safe," your head falls back as he pushes the first few inches in – teasing you still by not giving you the full length and thick of him.
"Tired of safe, too," he rumbles softly above you, feeds more of himself in, and you tighten around his cock: receive him with fierce love and yearning. He groans at the sensation – it must feel divine for him, too. It must feel like it's meant to be this way. Now and forever.
You sigh as he starts to move, slow and intense, just the way he knows you like it when there's been too much stress and life has been a bitch. He always makes you feel better, always makes you melt in his arms when you run to him from the unfair, fucked up world. 
He's got some bad days too, and that’s when you ruffle his hair, scrub his back in the shower, give him a sloppy little blowjob, or make him his favorite dish, anything to make the tension in those mountains of shoulders disappear. 
You two worship each other; there’s no question about that. 
"Simon–ah… Truly, are you serious…?" 
"Hell yeah."
The idea of him cumming inside you is thrilling enough, but it's not just about that. 
You're ovulating, and he's a man in his absolute prime. He reminds you of mountain lions and snow leopards, living their life in harsh conditions and in wandering solitude until… Until the perfect companion comes along. He's simply the most virile male there is; broad, wide, and heavy, always ready when you are.
A man like Simon just cannot be infertile.
His eyes are half-lidded already, and those pale eyelashes make you bite your lip and grab his butt like it would be a life or death situation if he chose to withdraw.
And you know he loves it when you grope his ass and try to assist him with the thrusts. 
His little helper, indeed…
"Bloody fucking hell, you feel good…"
His head rolls back, exposing the tendons on his neck, thick, like the rest of him. Everything in this man is thick and broad and good – and fuck – he glides in and out like a dream. Somehow the extra layer of rubber has taken the brunt of his thickness away, but you feel it now, all of it, and it's something you could die for.
He grunts and thrusts, then halts for a while, chuckles all breathless…
"It's gonna be one hell of a show, sweetheart."
He's talking about what comes after. How it will be when there's a new addition and not a crew of two anymore. It brings tears to your eyes to see how he's already thinking about the future – and how he does it with a smile and a pleased chuckle.
"I'm used to sleepless nights," he reminds you softly. "You're not."
Ugh – he's thinking about your well-being when it would only make you the happiest woman on earth to take care of his children. Your children.
"I'll manage," you whisper.
"I know you will."
The tears are so close now; he’s simply the one and only person in this world for whom your love is boundless. It’s endless, overflowing.
He pulls back a little, raises your legs to rest on his shoulders, then crawls forward – he’s about to go deep, and the indecent but insanely sweet position makes you quail from him at first. It’s just too much all of a sudden.
"Wait–"
"The boys said this'll do the trick," he explains, waits until you adjust under and around him.
"The–the boys?"
He had been discussing this with his workmates…? 
Discussing which position is the best to help conceive?
"Yeah. Wanna do this properly."
This man might actually be serious… He just might be serious about this, and you still have difficulty grasping it.
"I can't believe you want this," you whisper, still trying to catch your breath on what's happening.
"Believe it or not, it's gonna happen now."
The smallest tear escapes, and you purse your lips, shut them tight to prevent a tiny little bawl from erupting. 
"I've always wanted you, Simon," you breathe into the air between you as he starts to make love to you, fill you with intent. "Just you, all these years…"
He rarely whispers, but this time, his voice is the softest hush.
"Right back at ya, darling."
"I–I want to give you… want your kids," you whimper, tears coating your voice as he continues the torture while the sweet, tight love surrounds you both.
"I want a family, Simon," you pant weakly, almost distressed. So urgent, desperate, like the wound is yet to be healed. You've never said those words to him before because you were afraid he might leave. 
"Love… fuckin' hell."
He has to stop to catch his breath, to catch the truth. Of course he has known it all along without you telling him, because he simply has those instincts of a wild animal. 
But words are powerful… They are magic. And this magic wants itself spelled out.
"I'll give them to you," he promises. "All of it. I swear."
Your eyes drift closed from the full wave of his vow. This mission is a crucial one, then, one of his most important ones. The man loves challenges; he loves when you up the stakes. Perhaps that's what this is about: he doesn't want to be a coward about the thing you both want. 
The skulls, the brass and death that always surround him can't take away the fact that he's a lifegiver. No matter what anyone says, men can give life, too. He has already given you so much, and now he's going to give you children.
A few more tears push through, and it's one of the sweetest things in your life: to get fucked by him so good while you're crying from joy.
"Luv. You trust me?"
You open your eyes again, and the sight of him is crystallized through tears. It's the most beautiful thing. 
"I trust you," you answer with a shaky breath.
Your trust is even more drugging to him than the tightness of your cunt, it seems. The corner of his eye twitches once, his brows knit together, and a pained look passes in his stare: but it's the sweet kind of pain, just like yours is.
"Feels so good," you whisper, looking up at him with devout love. "So, so good…"
"You're damn right," he sighs, panting with strained, short breaths. "Never felt this good."
He rocks you like you're under the sea, at the bottom of the ocean where the waves are mellow and the seabed is made of the softest sand. You're squeezed between his arms, tightly; he pins you to the bed with his body. The flutter of those pale lashes with every thrust is illegally sweet.
Your lips are bolted shut from the raw sensation, the swelling waves, but when a noise finally erupts, it does so with force. 
You know it makes him wild whenever you cry and plead under him. You know it sends him straight to the edge, too: when you moan and tighten around his cock, spread yourself for him to plunder while you're clawing at his back. You were so embarrassed the first time you noticed the red marks on his skin after your little sessions, but he was only pleased and said you should never apologize for that. His body is full of past pain and torture, and still, still, he allows, even wants you to destroy it even more.
"Faster, Simon, please…" 
"Yeah, that's it. Beg... Beg for me, love… "
And damn right, he's eating up your wrecked state like it's time for Christmas dinner, and the table is brimming with his favorite food. You're close, so close it would be torture, devastation if he stopped. 
"Ya want me to give it to you?" His voice is more rough, more commanding. God, he's close too.
"Yes–give it to me, please–"
Just don't stop, whatever you do, don't stop…
You beg some more, but it's incoherent. Just the way he likes. 
Simon–fuck…
There's no reason to it, just ah's and fuck's and love's, all knit together in a sweet, heady mess as you come– 
Fuck–!
…the orgasm is so intense it points your toes, makes you wrap around his middle with what little strength you have in your arms and fingers and those tiny little claws. Your nails sink in, somewhere between his shoulder blades: he's so wide you can't quite reach to hug him, but you latch onto him like a drowning person nonetheless.
"Oh–oh fucking god…!" 
He comes, right after, buries himself so deep that it stings a little, but you would never, ever complain. He pumps you full, doesn't even move, only arches his back to go even deeper, although he's already buried there to the hilt.
And never has he in all your years together sounded so vulnerable. He usually just grunts and huffs when he comes, but now you get a whole string of words and a fragile, broken pitch. He sounds as if he's near the point of breaking into tears. 
It must feel divine to cum inside you instead of a condom, and what's even more, with the intent to fulfill a mission with that shot. Give life.
If you don't get pregnant from this, well… you doubt you ever will.
He's lying on top of you in a heavy, panting heap, sounding like he's just done ten deadlift PRs in a row. You can't help but laugh, breathless, too, and caress him as he comes down from his sex high.
"You can let me go now," you ghost your fingertips up and down his back when he still doesn't move. It's not that you want him to release you, but he's simply too heavy to be lying all over you like this for long periods of time.
"Nah not yet. Gotta make sure..."
He thinks you want him to pull out, and you giggle some more.
"You're crushing me," you laugh. "And we can do this all weekend, silly. If you want to make sure."
His middle contracts with a silent laugh, too.
"Got a fair point there, love."
Finally, he lets you out of the spread. He pulls out, too – that's not necessarily what you wanted, but when he takes you in his arms, you don't complain.
"That was… so nice," you say, suddenly shy. As if this was the first time he wrapped himself around you in a post-coital embrace.
"That was the best."
He's so warm, and the arm around you is heavy, even when lax. Especially when lax. You feel soft and sweet in his hold made of pure strength.
"I'd be surprised if not. You were very determined."
"You think that did it..?"
He's suddenly shy, too. You could swear he has never asked such a fragile question during or after a mission.
"No half-assing with my sweetheart."
One could say he really used his whole ass on this. You know it, because you're the one who spurred him on with weak but eager hands.
"...but I think it would be best to try again tomorrow. Just in case," he suggests, and you can hear the smile. God, that you love him.
"I wouldn't say no to that."
You imagine him waking up to your baby's cry with a sigh and a jaw-dislocating yawn, hushing you back to sleep by telling you it's his turn to go. He would finally locate the source of crying and make it his mission to cradle the little breadcrumb back to sleep, too. You just know Simon would sometimes fall asleep on the sofa while the baby is still in his arms, sound asleep just like their dad.
And you also know the child would make him laugh more. He would have the greatest time hearing all the silly (not to talk about the clever!) things the kid comes up with once it started talking. Simon would listen with a straight face, at first – out of respect – but then he would come to you with an unrestrained smile and a comment: "Did'ya hear what that little thing just said? Unbelievable..."
Whenever the kid had a tricky question, you would send them to Simon. It's decided already. You imagine him explaining things to the child with his steady and calm briefing voice while you're trying to keep your giggle in.
And when the little one was big enough to run around and poke things off the shelves, Simon would embrace you from behind while you're pouring some morning tea and say: "Should we make another one, hmm?"
After all, your little troublemaker would also need a friend to play with...
There's a gigantic, peaceful smile on your face, and Simon should be snoring by now… But he's still awake, and the arm around you draws you closer. He even tucks his hand partly between your body and the mattress. It's the sweetest prison from which you never want to escape.
"What if… What if I get grumpy when I'm pregnant?" You start to chit-chat nonsense while he holds you against a solid chest. You know he will fall asleep soon, and you wish to voice some fragile concerns before he does.
"I'll bring you ice cream to keep you nice and calm," he mutters in the back of your neck, sounding drowsy already.
"What if ice cream won't help?"
"I'll bring you chocolate."
You smile at him having a solution to every problem, no matter how minor. 
"You're really not afraid…?"
"Of you being grumpy? Nah I don't think so."
"No," you laugh at him joking around. "Of… changes."
"After all that we've been through? No." He brushes his lips over your neck, and you turn a little to look at him.
"Simon... What made you change your mind?"
He thinks on the answer for a good ten seconds. You know that inward look, which is both a gaze to the past and a shaky, hopeful glimpse to the future.
"Don't wanna die without knowing how our kid would look like. What they would be like."
You swallow past sorrow – it's such a beautiful thing to say that you have to catch your breath for a moment. Then you put your hand over his arm, the one keeping you close to him.
"Guess I got tired of living in fear," he sums up the change of heart, and you have to blink back more tears.
"I'm tired of living in fear, too," you whisper, and he entwines your fingers together. The kiss that follows is like a seal to your change of plans. It's pure hope.
"Could you... Could you say that we'll be fine?" You speak on his lips as softly as you can. You sometimes worry that he's annoyed by your constant need for reassurance, but he sounds as solid as a soldier can be.
"We'll be fine like always. Promise you that."
He doesn't seem to mind: if anything, you could swear that giving you encouragement only makes his chest puff up a little. The man gets satisfaction from you needing him in your life like this.
"Don't worry. I'll take care of us."
You ease fully into his embrace. He has said he'll take care of you many times before, but now your world is changing. It has changed already; you just know it. There's no more you and him, a team of two. 
There will be a tiny little breadcrumb too.
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alessiasfreckles · 10 months ago
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birthday present part 2 (alessia russo x reader)
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alessia finally reveals her surprise to you.
warnings: SMUT 18+, fingering (r receiving), edging, praise kink, strap & vibrator use (r receiving), dom!alessia
a/n: part 1 here, hope you all enjoy!
----------
At first it felt like torture, wandering around in just your underwear and the jersey. The fabric of the shirt kept brushing against your nipples, which were still sensitive from before, and your underwear was damp from how wet you’d been. Alessia didn’t help, either. She was clearly enjoying teasing you, her hands and lips wandering, and whenever you’d start to whine or moan she’d pull away, leaving you pouting. 
After a while, though, you settled back into your usual routine. You cooked dinner - Alessia’s favourite, of course - and the two of you cuddled up on the sofa to watch a movie that she’d been wanting to see. As you sat on the sofa, your mind kept wandering back to the way she’d been touching you earlier, sat in the same spot she was sat in now. 
You tried to focus on the film, reminding yourself that she had wanted to watch it and it was her birthday. Still, you couldn’t help but wonder what the surprise she had mentioned was. You guessed it was a toy of some kind - come on, you weren’t stupid - and you started running through the possibilities in your head. The film fully forgotten, you felt yourself getting worked up, your clit throbbing. You squirmed in your seat, making Alessia glance over at you.
“You okay, baby?” she asked innocently. You were cuddled into her side, her arm around you and her hand resting on your hip, one finger under the strap of the underwear as she absentmindedly stroked your skin.
“Mhm,” you replied, reminding yourself once again that it was Alessia’s birthday and she had wanted to watch this and you didn’t want her to have to stop the film just because you were horny. “All good.”
She raised an eyebrow at you but didn’t say anything, and turned back to the tv. 
Another half an hour went by. Her hand was now fully under the strap of the underwear, fingers stroking and drawing circles on the crease where your thigh met your pelvis. You started to wonder how much of the film was left when her hand slipped further, fingertips now touching your clit and rubbing so slowly and so gently that you could scream.
You gasped when she touched you, hand flying to her arm. When you looked up at her, she kept her eyes on the screen and smirked. 
“Not fair,” you grumbled, and you could feel her body shake as she chuckled. 
“Not much longer now,” she promised. 
You sighed. You wanted to act up, have her hold you down, punish you for being bratty, but you really were trying to be good for her. Her fingers kept moving, still slowly rubbing your clit. You turned your head, nuzzling into her neck, and started kissing it softly, then nipping and biting at it. When you started sucking on the sensitive spot below her ear, wanting to leave a bruise, her other hand came up to your hair. She grabbed a fistful and tugged, pulling you away from her neck, and looked at you sternly.
“Behave,” she instructed, tugging again. The sensation sent a jolt to your core, and you nodded, pouting slightly. She kissed the pout away. “Good girl. It’s almost done.”
The film finished soon after - she had been right, there really wasn’t much left - and as the credits rolled, you turned to face her, excited to find out what she had planned.
“Right,” she said, fake-yawning. “Bedtime? I have training tomorrow.”
“Ha ha, very funny,” you rolled your eyes. “I mean, unless you really do want to go to bed, that’s okay, I know you’ve had a long day.”
“Nah,” the blonde grinned. “I still want to fuck you, remember? And I have that surprise. Go and wait on the bed for me? I’m just going to shower quickly and then I’ll be there.”
“Okay!” you nodded enthusiastically, jumping off the sofa. 
“Oh, and baby? No touching yourself.”
-------
When Alessia came into the bedroom, she nearly dropped the towel she was drying her hair with. There were candles everywhere, and roses in different colours strewn around the room. You had tried to make it look purposeful and romantic, but you weren’t sure if it just looked messy. Either way, your girlfriend seemed to appreciate it. She spun in a slow circle, taking in the decorations, and when her eyes finally landed back on you, she was blushing. 
“You did all this for me?” she asked, a wide smile on her face.
“Yeah,” you said shyly. “Do you like it?”
“I love it, thank you. It’s beautiful, just like you.” 
She walked over to where you were sat on the bed, eyes trailing over your body. You had taken the jersey off, just in the lacy underwear. You’d left the bra off as well, and the cool air made your nipples hard. She smirked at the sight of the bruises she’d left on your neck and chest.
“I almost feel bad,” she said, looking around the room. “It’s so pretty. Feels almost too romantic for how hard I’m planning on fucking you.”
You blushed at the blunt statement, feeling want pooling in your core. 
“I’m not seeing a surprise,” you noted, making your girlfriend roll her eyes.
“Little Miss Impatient, that’s what you are,” she said, kissing you affectionately. “Patience is a virtue, baby.”
“I’m not good at being patient,” you grumbled.
Alessia’s hands ghosted along your skin, fingertips kissing your chest, your waist, your hips, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. Her forehead came to rest against yours. 
“Patience,” she repeated before kissing you deeply. 
Her tongue danced along yours, tasting you. Her hand was tantalisingly slow as it caressed your breast, rolling the nipple between her fingers. She pushed you back on the bed so you were resting against the headboard and knelt above you, one leg between your thighs. Her knee pressed against your pussy, the lacy underwear providing at least some form of friction, and your hips bucked against her desperately. 
She smiled into the kiss, and you could hear her earlier words in your head, reminding you to be patient. When she adjusted her legs, pressing her knee harder against you, you couldn’t help but moan. You couldn’t stop yourself from grinding against her leg, and the hand that wasn’t on your breast came to rest on your hip, squeezing it, pulling you closer. 
Your kissing got more frantic, and you whined, desperate for more contact, more friction, more anything. She broke away, breathing heavily.
“Take these off?” she asked, hooking a finger around the thin strap of the underwear. She leant back to give you space and you quickly complied, tossing them off the bed, only glancing at where they landed briefly to check there wasn’t a candle there. Burning the house down would really put a dampener on things.
The space where Alessia’s knee had been was replaced by her hand, a finger dragging though your soaked folds and flicking your clit, making your breath hitch. Your hips jerked forward, and she easily slid two fingers inside you, meeting no resistance. 
“Fuck, baby, Lessi, feels so good,” you babbled, brain overloaded by the feeling of her fingers buried in your pussy. 
Alessia felt her own clit throb when you said her name, and the desire building low in her stomach made her want to take you apart, fuck you until you couldn’t say anything except her name. She started fucking you hard and fast with her fingers, loving the way you felt around her, the way your hips bucked up to meet her fingers, whining, gasping, desperate for more,
“That’s it, good girl,” she crooned, one hand on your hip, pushing you into the mattress, the other hand two fingers deep inside you. “Taking it so well for me.”
All you could do was nod and moan as she added a third finger. The stretch was perfect, her long fingers hitting the perfect spot inside you. She kept going, fingers pumping in and out of you, watching your body as your back arched and your legs trembled, hands grasping at the bedsheets.
She kissed you as she pulled her fingers out, leaving you on the edge once again. 
“Wh-” you tried to protest but she cut you off with another kiss, and another, and another, all sweet and soft, especially in comparison to the way she’d just been fucking you. When she leant back, satisfied with the kisses, you pouted, folding your arms. 
“I was so close!” you whined, and she grinned.
“I know, baby. And you were doing so well for me,” she told you, her voice soft, the praise making you blush and squirm. “But I think you’ll enjoy the surprise even more now.”
You brightened up at the mention of the surprise, and she laughed at the way your demeanour quickly changed. 
“Do I get to know what it is now?” you asked eagerly.
She nodded, getting up off the bed. “I’m just going to get it. Close your eyes, I’ve been hiding it in my bedside drawer.”
You closed your eyes, putting your hands over them for good measure. You were tempted to peek, but figured that you could wait just those few more minutes whilst she got it ready. After a little bit of rustling and what you guessed was the sounds of Alessia’s clothes hitting the floor, she cleared her throat.
“Okay, you can open your eyes now.”
You opened them to find her standing at the foot of the bed, naked except for a strap between her legs. It was a new one, slightly wider than any of your other toys, and wasn’t actually on a harness like the others you had. The end of it disappeared between the blonde’s legs, and your mouth watered at the thought of it inside her. 
“What do you think?” she asked, smirking at the way your mouth had dropped open slightly. 
“Fuck, Lessi,” you breathed out, unable to think of anything else to say. She climbed onto the bed, and you couldn’t look away from the toy, how good it looked on her. “It’s big.” you said, biting your lip.
“You can take it for me, can’t you, baby?” she asked, one finger under your chin, making you look her in the eyes. “You’ve been such a good girl for me. I want you to keep being a good girl and take my cock, okay, darling?”
You nodded quickly, knowing that if at any point you were uncomfortable or wanted to stop, or just wanted her to switch to a smaller toy, you just had to say so and she would do it, no questions asked. 
“Good girl,” she said, kissing you. “I’m going to fuck you like this, okay? I want to see you, see your face whilst I stretch you out and fuck you.”
Her words sent waves of arousal to your pussy, which was still aching, desperate to be touched. She guided the toy between your legs, the tip brushing against your entrance. As she slowly started to slide it inside you, she started talking again. 
“You know, this one has a flat bit, right where my clit is, with bumps on it. So when I fuck you, I can feel it. I’ll be able to feel how hard I’m fucking you, feel you grinding down on my cock,” she explained. 
The thought of her finally being able to feel something when fucking you with the strap made you moan and made you all the more eager to take the whole toy, despite its size. The way it was stretching you was incredible, and Alessia’s palm rested on your stomach in the hopes of feeling the toy fill you up. She kept going slowly, letting you adjust to its size, continuously going deeper inside you until it was buried to the hilt. You grinded your hips against hers, enjoying the feeling of her skin against yours, wrapping your legs around her waist in an attempt to pull her closer, wanting her to feel everything.
“Fuck, baby,” she groaned, looking flushed already. She stayed like that for a minute, letting both of you get used to the feeling. 
“Lessi,” you whined, grinding your hips again when she didn’t move, and she rolled her eyes fondly.
“Are you ready?” she asked, and you frowned, confused.
“For what?” you asked. 
She smirked and reached down to the underside of the strap. After a few seconds, it started vibrating, sending shockwaves through your body. She moaned, the feeling of it vibrating against her clit the first real contact she’d had all evening, after being so focused on fucking you. The sight of her, with her head thrown back and eyes closed, made your mouth water, and you bucked your hips, wanting her to feel more. 
“Fuck,” she gasped, eyes flying open to look at you. You smiled cheekily and did it again, enjoying the way it felt inside you but enjoying the way it was clearly making her feel more. She grinned back, pulling your hips up so your ass was resting on her thighs, so that she could lean over you but still fuck you as hard and as deep as possible. She pulled out ever so slightly, then thrust forward, making you gasp at the sensation. She kept going, pulling out a little more every time, making sure your body could take it. When she was convinced you were ready, she paused again.
“Hey, y/n?” she said, making sure you were looking at her. “I love you.”
You opened your mouth to respond when she started fucking you hard and fast. Anything you’d been about to say was replaced by moans and pants, the air filled with the sound of skin against skin. You could feel the vibrations from the strap throughout your entire body, and all the earlier teasing meant you were already close to coming, your body having been on high alert all evening. Alessia’s hands held your hips tightly as she fucked you. She was already getting close, too. 
The blonde flipped you so that she was lying on her back, you on top of her. Her hands stayed on your hips as you easily started riding her, and the added pressure from your weight on top of her made the strap press against her clit harder. She let go of you with one hand, reaching down to the strap and switched the vibrator to the highest setting. 
“Fuck, fuck, Lessi, oh my god, fuck,” you keened, words falling from your mouth as she fucked you, the difference in vibrator settings very noticeable for your sensitive pussy. You could see that she was close, her cheeks flushed red, the veins on her forearms standing out as she gripped your hip with one hand. The other moved between your legs, rubbing your clit furiously, wanting to push you over the edge. 
“Doing such a good fucking job for me baby, such a good girl, my good girl, aren’t you? So good for me, wanna make you come baby, want you to come on my cock,” she said, words coming fast as she focused on fucking you. 
“‘M so close baby, so close, wanna come for you Lessi, wanna come together,” you babbled. She groaned at your words, keeping up her relentless pace, and you felt your orgasm washing over you, the still-going vibrations from the strap dragging out your climax, making your pussy clench around the toy. When Alessia saw your eyes shut, your head thrown back, your body trembling as you came, it pushed her over the edge, and she moaned as she came, still gently fucking you. 
She quickly reached for the toy, turning the vibrator off, not wanting to overstimulate either of you. You leant down, sagging against her body, head nestled in the crook of her neck as both of you breathed heavily, recovering from your intense orgasms. She gently reached down and pulled the strap out, leaving you feeling empty.
“You okay?” she asked softly, stroking your hair.
“Yeah,” you sighed happily. “Don’t wanna move.”
She hummed in response, pressing a kiss to your forehead. The two of you laid there quietly for a few minutes. 
“Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum,” you said, mirroring the sound of her heartbeat. You felt her chuckle underneath you. 
“We should probably get cleaned up,” she murmured. 
“Just a few more minutes?” you asked. “You’re so comfy.”
“Okay, baby. Just a few more minutes.”
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bonny-kookoo · 10 months ago
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BONNY-NIMMM PRINCESS IS A KWEEN STORY, NO WORDS 🤷‍♀️🙌🏼 EASILY ONE OF MY TOP FICS SERIES ALREADY 👀 itbemyromanempirenglthisischefskissyourhybridstoriesaresomethingelseforcefeedusallyouwant 🍽️🍽️🍽️
It's currently one of my favorites I won't lie. Warning for slight angst
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"Whats-" Jungkook starts, watching you put bag after bag of snacks on the small table in the corner of the practice room.
One after another you keep piling them up, and he realizes most if not all of them are snacks he's eaten before when you were around- so you just bought those you know he likes. But why?
"Where'd you even get all of that?" Jungkook wonders when you put some small boxes of banana milk on the table as well.
"The store." You roll your eyes, before your tail lowers between your legs in.. embarrassment? "..I asked for my credit card and.. complained until I go it for today." You say. "But I was only allowed to buy stuff supervised, so.. this is all I could do." You say.
"Okay.. but why?" He asks, still unsure while you keep jumping around the topic, sitting down on the floor now while playing with the empty plastic bag in your lap.
"...cause you bought me those warm tights yesterday." You mumble. "...and the fluffy socks.."
True, he did do that.
He's noticed you either just wear leggings or otherwise just dresses and skirts- and after you explained to him that you simply don't like pants, he's found that you don't own any warm clothing that would work with something like that. All you have is designer stuff made to be worn on special occasions - but nothing for the cold weather outside. Nothing that's gonna protect your skin against the biting temperatures.
He just.. felt like you needed it, and he could provide it. It wasn't really that expensive, and really, he did kind of went overboard on the small shopping spree all by himself.
"I told you, I don't need anything back." He chuckles, sitting down next to you on the glossy wooden floor. "I did it because I wanted to."
"..still." You shake your head. "I felt bad."
"Hm, okay. I'll take the stuff then. Will that make you feel better?" He asks, and you nod, one of your ears floppy again. It's kind of cute, and it fits you- but he's still curious. "Say, why does.. one of your ears sometimes stand up, and sometimes it doesn't?" He wonders, reaching out to touch it when you look at him.
"Oh- the stylists make it stand up. But it doesn't, normally." You explain. "It's always been like this since I was a pup. But it's ugly, so they.. you know, force it up when they film." You tell him.
"How?" He wonders, confused- when his fingers feel some very small starring almost.
"Uh.. They're like, tiny wires?" You say. "They have tiny little teeth on them. The stylist puts them in here-" You tap a point forward from the side of where your ear sits. "-and then pull it back, so it like, tightens. And that makes it stand most of the time."
Jungkook pauses. That's illegal.
"Do they numb it?" He wonders, trying not to let his anger about it show.
"No, but it's not that bad." You deny. "They've done it since I was small, so I'm used to it. And the little wires dissolve after a day or so, and then it's just a little itchy." You shrug off. "How did your ears stand up like that? They're kind of big.." you joke, and he smiles- though he can't stop thinking about all the things you think are perfectly normal, when they're not.
"You're not ugly like this, alright?" He tells you, holding your folded ear, before he lets go, and looks at you. "With your ear like that, and no makeup, and no fancy designer clothes, I mean."
"I'm not though." You answer. "And that's fine. I like being like this- no one's looking at me when I look like this. Like I'm nothing special, you know?" You say and he sighs, accepting that for now.
Though he already knows, especially when you are like this-
You're very much starting to become someone very special to him.
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4ranghaes · 1 month ago
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park sungho x reader [smut, fem!reader, MAJOR breeding kink, reader is hinted at speaking english and korean]
a/n - completely inspired by an ask to another bnd blog on here about sungho hearing reader sing juno by sabrina carpenter so credit to them!!!! ALSO cut short because i didnt want to make it too long but lmk if you want a full version!!
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15:49 - “y/n, my baby…” sungho sang, waltzing back into his bedroom, where you were sprawled out across the bed. a towel was wrapped around his waist as he shook out his wet hair, dragging a brush through it. some droplets dripped from his hair onto his broad shoulders and down to his toned torso.
“hey handsome,” you smiled, taking your headphones off, letting the music you’d previously been listening to by yourself play across the room. juno by sabrina carpenter.
sungho started bobbing his head to the music and humming along as he rubbed moisturiser into his face.
“what is this song about, anyway?” he asked, turning to grab some underwear out of his drawer. “i’ve been meaning to ask you.”
you giggled, tilting your head to the side as you looked at him. you sat up on the bed.
“what?” he scoffed, giving you a confused glance.
“i know you want my touch for life. if you love me right then who knows? i might let you make me juno,” you spoke, translating the song as it played behind you. he nodded casually, thinking you were done. “one of me is cute but two though? give it to me, baby.”
sungho smiled, chuckling slightly at the way you were looking at him. “what?! so, it’s kind of sexual. are you embarrassed?!”
“yeppi, it’s all about a breeding kink,” you laughed, “juno is a film about a pregnant girl.”
sungho’s hand paused on his towel as he was about to undo it. you saw his adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. you giggled, laying down, resting up on your elbows.
“what? are you embarrassed?” you teased, repeating his words back to him.
“n-no!” he stuttered, forcing out a laugh, “wow. more— more sexual than i thought, huh!”
you smirked, calling out for him. “yeppi-ya. what are you thinking about?”
“me?” he breathed shakily, “nothing. just getting dressed.”
“yeah?” you hummed, “hard to do so with a boner, isn’t it?”
sungho swore, rolling his eyes as he turned away. you giggled, “don’t be shy, handsome! come here. it’s not like we have anything to do today, anyway!”
sungho sighed, turning round so you could see the outline of his boner, making his towel stand up. you smirked, swallowing back a laugh as you crawled along the bed, undoing the towel at the side. it fell to the floor with a heaping noise, sungho breathing shakily as his cock slapped against his stomach. his pretty cock was always surprisingly wet and today was no different, pre-cum constantly leaking out the top, small droplets dripping down his length.
“what’s got you so worked up, yeppi?” you spoke innocently, knowing full well what is was. he was never exactly subtle when you guys had sex. “all over a song?”
sungho sighed as you started trailing a finger up his cock, scooping one of the drops of precum before pushing your finger past your lips and licking it off.
“i can’t help you if you don’t tell me, sun—”
“oh my god i need to breed you so badly—,” he spoke as fast as you’d ever heard him speak before, taking you in his arms and shoving you back against the bed, crawling over the top of you. “god even when you said the words ‘breeding kink’ and ‘pregnant’– fuck, look at what it did to me! pretty girl, please let me fuck a baby into you, please.”
he pulled away from where he’d been kissing along your jaw and neck, looking at you with nervous big brown eyes. looking back, straight into his eyes, you moaned and gave him a frantic nod. sungho smiled, going back to kissing your neck, trailing further down and peeling off your clothes as he went.
“yeah, you like that, pretty girl? you want me to breed you? make you all big and round with my baby?” sungho muttered, driving himself crazy with his own words, “god. you’d look so good pregnant. i need to cum in you right now–”
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me-and-your-husband · 2 years ago
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i’m starving, darlin’ (let me put my lips to something) || j. miller
summary: you won’t let joel eat. he has something else in mind, modern!au, still takes place in 2023.
warnings: joel fucks the reader with a beer bottle (no, it’s not empty...), dirty talk, kind of exhibitionism?, female reader, reader wears a dress, modern!au, not proofread
word count: 1.4k
a/n: this is just me being so fucking feral. y’all saw my “ellie fucks the reader with her pistol”? same idea. don’t think about the logic cause i sure as fuck didn’t. title credit to @tieflingpride . i too am obsessed with hozier’s new song (been a hozier girlie for awhle). let’s not talk about the fact that the song is actually about generations exploiting new generations thru capitalism! only pay attention to the slutty base intro! also the idea that joel can’t cook is kind of from @textsfromeponinet ‘s blurb. i wrote this in like forty minutes.
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The hot summer air clung to your skin as you crossed one leg over the other and leaned back in your chair, pulling your dress down over your thighs. The golden evening sun was peeking out through the trees in Joel’s backyard, coasting over the four of you in a comfortable glow. You sat next to Joel, his hand resting comfortably on your thigh as you chatted with Tommy and Maria. Sarah was at a friend’s house, missing out on the barbecue. The only part of cooking Joel could pride himself on was his barbecuing. 
“Not sure how much I trust your cookin’ Joel. Not after the time back home when you lit old Mrs. Garcia’s kitchen on fire,” Tommy said to Joel with a smirk, making both you and Maria look to Joel and laugh. 
Joel grinned. “If I remember right, that fire only started ‘cause I had to pick your ass up from that party and I forgot I had shit cookin’,” he said, tilting his head to the side and tilting his beer bottle up to his lips, taking a swig. 
“He’s better at barbecuing than he is…anything else. I promise,” you said, making Tommy and Maria chuckle. Joel squeezed your thigh. 
“Reminds me. Should go sauce the steak,” Joel drawled, getting up from his place next to you and walking a few feet away towards the sizzling barbecue.
Maria leaned in closer to you, “Please tell me you made those salads I saw in the kitchen earlier.” 
You laughed and assured her that you made them. “There’s caesar salad, pasta salad, potato salad, macaroni salad, you name it. Joel eats like a man starved, so I always make sure we’ll have leftovers for a couple nights. Y’all can take some home if you want,” you offered. 
“We’ll definitely take you up on that. Tommy here takes after his brother.” You and Maria laughed as Tommy rolled his eyes with a smile. 
“I’m pretty sure last time someone let Joel around anything that couldn’t be grilled, everyone went home with food poisoning,” you joked, jolting when you felt hands begin to gently massage your shoulders from behind. 
“That right. Darlin’?” Joel laughed. You smirked at him as he sat down. “Steak’s almost ready. I’d say in five.” He took another swig of his beer. 
“In that case, I should go inside and put the dressing on the salad. Didn’t want it to get soggy or I would’ve done it earlier,” you said as you got up from your chair. 
“Oh, let me help you!” Maria said, standing.
“Oh, don’t worry about it. Sit! I’ll be right back.” You opened the back door, shutting it gently behind you. The kitchen windows were open. You could still hear small bits of the conversation going on outside if you listened hard enough.
You began pulling the different bowls of salad out from the fridge and onto the counter. You grabbed the caesar dressing and added it to the salad, mixing it around. You looked over your shoulder when you heard the back door open and shut, still mixing.
“Just grabbin’ another beer, honey,'' Joel said, grabbing you by the hips and moving you gently to the side so that he could get in the fridge adjacent to you. Joel grabbed another bottle before closing the door. Hand still on your hips, he peered over your shoulder at what you were doing. He brought the lid up to his mouth, cracking the lid off with his teeth and throwing it out. He downed about a third of the beer, only stopping when you turned to place the bowl on the kitchen island. However, you ran into his broad chest, his frame stopping you from moving past him. 
“You’re drivin’ me crazy with that little dress you’ve got on, pretty thing,” he groaned. His breath smelled like beer, but you knew he wasn’t drunk. Just tipsy. 
You giggled. “Joel. I’ve gotta finish up. The people want to eat,” you said, trying to move past him.
“Hm, so do I, darlin’,” he said with a smirk, pulling you back into him by the wrist.”
“Joel!” You gasped, smacking him playfully on the bicep. He took another swig of his beer, grabbing the salad bowl with his other hand and throwing it on the counter. “Joel, not now. We can finish this later, I pro-”
He cut you off with his lips on yours, hands cradling your face, the cold surface of his beer bottle pressed up against your cheek. You whimpered into his mouth as he pressed your back into the island.
He broke away. The grin on his lips was almost permanent, an ever-present reminder of his constant desire for his woman. “You won’t let me taste you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take something else for me, honey.”
Your brows furrowed. He lifted you onto the counter and you squealed. “Joel, what if Tommy or Maria come in?” 
He pressed another kiss to your lips. “Shh, baby. Window’s open.”
His rough hands lifted your dress higher and higher until it was bunched around your hips, your dampening panties the only thing shielding you from the air. Noticing the wet spot pooling there, Joel’s thick fingers traced it, fingers ghosting over your pussy, leaving silent kisses there.
“Already this wet for me, huh?” he whispered before taking one last sip of his drink. “You feelin’ brave, sweetheart?”
“Anything for you,” you said, becoming too wet to care or resist. 
He hummed and moved your panties to the side. “That’s what I like to hear.” 
You gasped as you watched him lower his bottle to your core, running the cold tip through your wet folds, making you shudder. “Trust me?”
“Always.”
He smirked. He lined the cold tip of the bottle up with your entrance, pushing in ever so slowly, watching the way it disappeared perfectly inside you. You bit your lip as he worked it deeper. You couldn’t help but moan when it bottomed out inside of you. 
“Gotta keep quiet for me, honey,” he said as he slowly pulled it out and worked it back in. He pulled you so your ass was barely supported by the island, his arm doing most of the work. “Look at you, takin’ my bottle like a slut,” he chuckled. You didn’t care. You let out quiet, breathy moans as he worked it in and out of you.
“Faster, please Joel,” you moaned softly. He obeyed, thrusting it in and out at a faster pace, eyes transfixed on your slick collecting around the neck of the bottle. You could feel the familiar pressure in your core building up. One of your hands found his hair, pulling gently for some reprieve. His other hand moved to circle your clit, hell-bent on seeing your release. 
You bit back your moans as your release crept up on you, Joel trying his hardest to coax it out of you. He thrived off your little moans of his name, begging for your release, knowing he was the only one who could give it to you.
“That’s it, baby. Come on, know you can do it. Cum for me, pretty thing. That’s right.”
The coil finally snapped, Joel clamping a hand over your mouth immediately in an attempt to quell your moans. He worked the bottle in and out of you through your orgasm, your back arching and body writhing up off the counter. 
When you came down, Joel took his hand from your mouth and gently worked the bottle out of you, watching the way your puffy hole clenched around it, then clenching around nothing. As you tried to catch your breath, Joel brought the bottle up to your eyes. You blushed at the sight of your cum running down and inside the bottle, mixing in with the liquid left still inside. 
“Look at that, honey,” he said before bringing it up to his lips, taking a savory sip before kissing you once more. He grinned as he began to make his way outside. 
“Joel?” You called, still wanting more of him. Always more. 
“What? The people need to eat, baby.” He laughed before going back outside. 
A few minutes later, after straightening yourself out, you walked outside with the salads. Your eyes couldn’t help but gravitate towards Joel, sprawled out in his chair, still sipping from the bottle.
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permanent taglist:
@winters-fairy @idkwhattonamethisblogs 
joel taglist: 
@sunxflowerxx @mmeerraa @chrry1ovr @milly-louise @jordie-gvf @themusingkitten @anxiety-made 
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alotofpockets · 16 days ago
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Common ground | Part 2 | Niamh Charles x Arsenal!Reader
Where you and Niamh grow closer after having hosted a children's event together
Read part 1 here
Woso masterlist | Words: 1.6k
-----
After going out to dinner with Niamh, you couldn’t even remember why you were dreading spending the day with her so much. All throughout dinner you were talking and getting to know each other, you had been so comfortable that your waiter had to come over to let you know that you had to leave since the restaurant was closing soon.
Once outside you laughed at practically being kicked out the door, you reached your cars with the biggest smile on your face, “We should do this again sometime.” With a matching smile Niamh agreed. You exchanged numbers before saying bye and each heading home.
Exchanging numbers turned into texting every day. Texting turned into calling, and calling turned into facetiming. Whenever you both had a free moment, you would video call and be in each other's presence. 
Besides online contact you also meet up at a restaurant or at each other’s places at least once a week. You were growing closer with Niamh every day, and when you were sitting together on the couch, watching a movie together, everything just felt right.
You quickly realised your feelings for Niamh, and it seemed like she felt the same way about you from the way the two of you interacted with each other.
When she knocked on your door that evening you quite literally pulled her into your apartment. “Come on, I'm making your favourite.” By her hand you pulled her into the kitchen, where you had already started dinner.
“No music while you’re cooking? That’s not like you.” You hadn’t even realised you had forgotten until Niamh mentioned it, “Can you put some on, please?” Busy with stirring the pots, you handed your phone over to Niamh, and went to Spotify and turned on her favourite playlist. 
The soft music filled the room, and Niamh slotted in beside you. Helping with dinner, but mostly just snacking on the ingredients when she thought you weren’t looking. Cooking with Niamh has quickly become one of your favourite activities. 
That night laughter filled the kitchen, and you were alway standing just a little closer together than was necessary. It all felt so natural, and each moment Niamh’s hand touched you a jolt of electricity moved through your body.
After dinner the two of you settled on the couch to watch a movie, like you always did. You didn’t know how Niamh convinced you to watch a scary movie, well you did of course. All she had to say was please, and you had crumbled. Now you were hiding behind the blanket that was draped over the both of you, whenever a scary scene came up.
Niamh chuckled every time you hid. It wasn’t until maybe the fifth time you had done so, that she pulled you into her side for some comfort. For a moment all you could focus on was Niamh, but then a loud sound from the movie scared you again and you hid your face into her.
“Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Niamh joked when the end credits rolled. “Not so bad? I am frightened for life!” She chuckled and got up to clean up the dishes. 
The second you heard a noise, you sprinted after her. “Wait! Don't leave me here alone!” Niamh, completely unphased by the movie, chuckles again. “How are you gonna sleep here on your own?” Her comment was more so meant as a joke, but your eyes widened in fear. “Oh God. You have to stay the night, please.” 
You looked in your closet for some clothes for Niamh to bed, your eyes landed on a pair of your Arsenal shorts. The idea alone made you giggle, but you know you couldn’t do that to her. Instead you opted for one of your old national team shorts along with an oversized shirt. 
“I see what you’re trying to do here.” She joked upon seeing the shorts. “If I hear any complaints, next time I will offer Arsenal ones.” She held up her hands in surrender. “No complaints here.” 
It was easy enough to convince Niamh to share your bed, rather than her sleeping on the couch. I mean the argument that her sleeping on the couch would still leave you alone in your room with all the scary noises surrounding you.
You were laying in bed face to face, just looking at each other for a while before you spoke up. “Besides your choice of movies, I really enjoyed tonight.” Niamh smiled, “Yeah me too, but I also liked my movie choice very much. At the very least it meant I got to hold you close.” 
Her words caught you by surprise, and your cheeks flushed immediately. “Yeah, I did like that part.” Niamh’s hand reached over to move a fallen strand of hair behind your ear, the moment itself had you frozen in place, your eyes moving down to look at her lips. Niamh took that as her sign to lean in.
The moment her lips were on yours, you melted into the kiss. Kissing her made the rest of the world fall away, only leaving the soft and warm presence of her. She was gentle at first, seeing how you would react. But when you leaned in, closing the space between you, she let her hand slide to the back of your neck, pulling you even closer.
The kiss deepened, your mouths moving in a slow rhythm. Your hand found its way to her cheek, gently brushing it against her skin as you felt her smile into the kiss. When you finally parted, both slightly out of breath, and your foreheads still pressed together, you shared a soft laugh.
“Took you long enough.” You say softly before placing another quick peck on her lips. “I was waiting on you to make the first move, actually.” You laughed at the situation, both having been waiting for the other to make the first move, and at the same time being glad that one of you did.
The comfort of the moment made you feel safe, no longer scared from the movie. Niamh wrapped her arm around you and pulled you closer. You cuddled into her side, making yourself comfortable. She kissed your forehead before resting her head on yours.
As you were playing with her hand, your mind was working hard, trying to figure out how to ask Niamh what was circling your thoughts. “Do you think we could be something more? More than just friends?” 
“I think we’ve been something more than friends for a while now.” Niamh answered instantly. It warmed your heart, knowing that she had felt the same way. “But if you are asking me to be your girlfriend, the answer is yes.” You smile into her shoulder, “I like that.”
You continued talking until you fell asleep. The next morning you woke up in her arms, and couldn’t help but smile as the memories of last night flashed before your eyes. As you were about to turn around, Niamh tightened her grip on you, “Don’t go, this is way too comfy.” You kissed her cheek and cuddled back into her side. “Okay five more minutes.” You had a match later, so you knew you couldn’t stretch it too long, as much as you would have really liked to stay like this for the rest of the day.
True to your word, you dragged Niamh out of the bed five minutes later. She was still a little groggy, her hair slightly messy and her eyes sleepy, but she looked adorable. Her in your clothes brought a smile to your face. “We should do this more often.” “Get up this early? No thanks.” She joked, as she wrapped her arms around your waist. “But yeah, I think so too.” With a peck to your cheek she moved over to make drinks, while you made the food. 
As you were plating the food, a knock came at your door. “Oh shit, I forgot Leah was giving me a ride today.” Niamh’s eyes widened, her national team captain was at the door. “Don’t worry, she won’t think anything of it.” You said, followed by a whispered, “I think.”
You opened the door to Leah, already clad in her Arsenal tracksuit. “Hey Lee, come in. We were just having some coffee.” Her eyebrows arched, “We?” Your eyes moved over to Niamh at the counter. “Morning.” She said nervously, while raising her cup of coffee.
Leah looked her teammate up and down, noticing the messy hair and shorts that were definitely yours, “Well this is unexpected.” She didn’t give anything away with the way she said it, which was making you nervous as well. Leah noticed the way the two of you were sharing anxious glances. “Oh chill out you two, I think it’s cute.” You sigh with relief and finish your breakfast. You leave Niamh and Leah to talk while you take a quick shower, before re-entering the kitchen in your Arsenal tracksuit as well. “I’ve got to go, but you’re welcome to stay however long you would like.” You move closer to kiss her but stop and look at Leah before you do. “Right, I’ll be in the car.” She hurriedly leaves your apartment, making the both of you chuckle.
“How would you feel if I was still here when you came back home?” You smiled instantly at her question. “I would love that very much.” You kiss her softly before grabbing your bag and heading out the door. Already excited to be coming home to your girlfriend after the game.
“Don’t say it.” You say as you step into the car with Leah. She lifts her hands, “I wasn’t gonna say anything.”
-----
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fruitcoops · 3 months ago
Text
Clean Slate
Ah, the passage of time. If anyone has been here since the first phone call, you may be entitled to financial compensation (or an AARP membership). Character credit goes to @lumosinlove <3
“Reg?”
On the first ring, as always. “Hey.”
“…hi?”
“I was thinking about going back to Gryff for Christmas.”
“Oh.” Surprise, but pleasant surprise. Regulus shook his pan of sausage. “Yeah, sounds good. You always have a room here. Or were you staying with the cubs?”
“With you.” He stretched his neck from side-to-side. Tension bled out of his forehead and shoulders at the familiar roll of French on his tongue. “If that’s okay.”
“Always,” Sirius answered immediately, almost hasty. Regulus wasn’t sure they’d ever get past that. Ah, well. The damage was done.
The line remained quiet for a moment. Sausage sizzled, and he turned to the pile of green beans on the cutting board. Leo had taught him how to snap the ends off with his fingernails, and though he was better now about not chewing them to the quick, he still didn’t like the feeling of stuff stuck beneath them. Regulus had really only called to clarify plans.
“How—how are your friends?”
“Good.” Sirius liked to talk, even if he wasn’t very good at it. “Jax and Kris set up the living room last night.”
“Do they still have that stupid poster?”
Regulus snorted under his breath and carefully sliced the tip off another bean. “They tried to hang it in the window.”
Sirius groaned.
Regulus grinned. He supposed he could have a little mercy. “Don’t worry, it’s under my bed.”
“Somehow, that’s worse.”
“I can’t get rid of it. It’s their favorite possession. They have a thing for your long hair and the murder face. Jax is still waiting for the day you spontaneously get divorced and need a hot young college student to rebound.”
He wasn’t sure whether the gagging sound Sirius made was real or exaggerated. As long as he was in mild torment, Regulus was happy. A simple, ever-amusing perk of long-distance communication.
“I hope your classmates are less in tune with pop culture.”
“Hockey, yes. Pop culture, no.” Regulus eyed the pan, then added another knob of butter to be safe. There was nothing worse than a burnt vegetable. “And my classes are going well, thank you for asking.”
“You’re welcome.”
He rolled his eyes. It didn’t matter that Sirius couldn’t see it; the message would certainly get through.
“Don’t make that face at me.”
“I’m not making a face.”
“You always make faces.”
Regulus stuck his tongue out at the microwave above the stove.
“I can feel you doing it again.”
“That was a different one. I’m taking physics 3 this year and it’s making me want to eat a doorknob already.”
“You’re anemic enough that it would probably help.”
“I take my supplements!” Regulus argued, shaking his pan. “Not my fault we were force-fed protein in fucking sun-less Canada.”
“We had sun, you just never went outside,” Sirius countered, like it was some sort of argument. “I don’t have to take supplements.”
“Well, you’re perfect and bulletproof, as everyone knows.”
“Exactly.”
Regulus angled his face at the dark phone screen when he pulled a face this time. It was a good one. Pity that Sirius couldn’t see it. He should’ve gone for FaceTime.
“Are you starting a fire?”
“I’m making dinner.”
“So…yes?”
“Not all of us have a home cook.”
“I can cook now.”
“Oh, you’ve been housebroken.” Regulus blew out a mouthful of steam as he tested a piece of sausage. “How thrilling for Lupin.”
“You’re such an asshole.”
“Takes one to know one. I learned that last week.”
He could feel Sirius shaking his head. “Knutty is formally banned from teaching you new slang.”
“You’ve never said ‘no’ to him in his entire career.” Regulus let the line hang silent for another half-minute as he turned the burner off and began scraping his dinner into a bowl. It still bore a faint orange tinge from last year’s finals-week spaghetti run. He fished a piece of pasta out of the water and popped it in his mouth, grimacing at the heat on his tongue. It was cooked well enough—at least, he was hungry enough to forgive a more al dente texture.
“By the way,” he started, as if his stomach wasn’t stuttering. “I think I’ll be back in time for family skate.”
The shuffling sounds on Sirius’ end came to an abrupt halt. “That’s nice,” came the faux-casual answer.
Anxiety made a valiant effort to claw up and silence his tongue. “I was thinking about going.”
“Well,” Sirius began, then paused. Regulus swallowed a few times to clear the block in his throat while Sirius pondered. “I—yeah, sounds good.”
“I want to.”
“Good.” Sirius’ relief was audible. “Okay, good. You can change your mind.”
“Don’t be weird about it,” Regulus ordered as he toed his slippers on and made his way to the apartment’s tiny coffee table. They’d get chairs at some point, but for now three pillows sat on the floor beside it.
“I’m never weird.”
“Boo, liar.”
“Freak.”
“I’m telling Lupin.”
“Do it. He likes me better. I can cook.”
“I’m—” Regulus caught himself at the last second and felt Sirius’ breath hitch on the other end of the line in anticipation. “—not joking, I actually want to go and play stupid ice fetch with your irritating friends, and nobody is making me feel pressured.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t sound so…” He wrinkled his nose and stuffed a mouthful of pasta into his mouth. “Smiley.”
“It’ll be good to have you home.”
“If you’re weird, I’m staying with Leo,” Regulus threatened. “For real, this time.”
“Right, because you love being around people who are engaged and anywhere near a holiday, or mistletoe, or the magic of Christmas—”
His loud groan silenced Sirius’ words, but not his laughter. “Get your laughs in now, before I whoop your ass on the ice.”
“Would love to see you try.”
“Don’t sound so thrilled.”
“Everyone else is going to underestimate you. I won’t be nice like that.”
“You’re never nice,” Regulus lied.
Sirius let him eat in peace until he was scraping the last bits of cheese from the bottom of the bowl. He heard the faint beeping of the dishwasher buttons in the background and glanced at his own sink, nearly overflowing with haphazard dishes from the first chaotic weeks of their senior year. The apartment was a pleasant change from living on campus, such as it was. Jax and Kris had offered to pay rent—tried to strongarm him, really—but a few withering looks had finally made them relent. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it was his. Theirs.
The string lights lining the ceiling weren’t strictly allowed, but Regulus liked their gentle blue cast. The blanket Remus and Sirius had sent as a housewarming gift sat cozily on the back of their couch. Curtains from Jax’s mother let in just the right amount of light in the mornings.
“Call me if you need anything, okay?”
The sound of Sirius’ voice in his earbuds startled him. “Yeah,” Regulus said. “Yeah, sure.”
“Even for laundry.” Sirius tried for wry, and it made Regulus crack a small smile, but it was gentler than either of them intended. “Don’t shrink your clothes. Check the tags.”
Always do, he thought, but kept it down. “Good advice. No centipedes here, yet.”
Sirius’ laugh was a little weak. “You’re just not looking hard enough.”
“Eugh, don’t say that.” Regulus blinked fast, tipping his head toward the ceiling. “Hey, this washer even has a ‘normal’ setting, if you can believe it.”
“Oh, wow. Lucky you.”
Picking up the phone on the first ring, always. For four years straight. “I’ll see you at Christmas.”
“We can come up in October, if you want.”
Of course Sirius had the academic calendar on-hand. “I’ll be gone that weekend with the guys. We didn’t want to be around all the new parents. They’re very damp.”
“And you melt when water touches you, of course.”
“Of course.”
Sirius let out a quiet breath. “See you at Christmas, Reg. Call me when you have flights.”
“Mhm.”
“Stay safe.”
“Always do.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I do here,” he corrected.
“Fine.”
“Miss you.” The streetlights down the road were just starting to come on. “Say hi to Lupin for me.”
“He’s in the other room,” Sirius offered. “You can say it yourself.”
“I’ll talk to you both enough at Christmas.”
“Call any time. And let us know when you hear back about graduation tickets.”
What a terrifying thought to leave for the end of the call. “I’ll forward it to you.”
“I’ll keep an eye out.”
“Okay. Bye.” And before he could second-guess himself—“I’ll be home soon.”
“Don’t talk to strangers,” Sirius answered. Regulus heard the truth under it. “And do your laundry.”
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thefallennightmare · 10 months ago
Text
Just Pretend-Twenty Two
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*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*
Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader
Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.
Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.
Authors Note: PHASE II comes to an end! Strap in everyone, PHASE III is going to be a smutty ride.
FUCK YOU. EAT SHIT. KILL GOD. DETHRONE.
We are Fallenvvitch. Goodnight.
🪽🔮
Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)
Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @koskeepsake @bngurngheart @shilohrosechicken @emzandthevoid @casangel1986 @qualityvoidcollectorsblog @myownthoughts12 @jilliemiw86 @bellaboo967 @halloweenaesthetic @collapsedglasshouses
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NOAH
I let out a long sigh as I ran my hands over my thighs, the green couch becoming a familiar place for me. Even the dying plants on the shelf behind Dr. Poulos brought a sense of comfort. She had her book open on her lap, tapping her pen against it. 
Three times.
She always tapped it three times. 
“You seem happier today Noah,” Dr. Poulos noted. 
I nodded. “I am. For the first time in a long time.” 
“That’s great,” she smiled warmly before she used her pen to point to her hair. “New look?” 
“Uh, it kind of happened. I didn’t expect to cut my hair, it’s been long for so many years now, but I felt with what happened I could use a change. But it still might be too long for my liking. I might cut it some more,” I said. 
“Hm, typically that’s a sign of some growth. What happened?”
For the next few minutes, I filled her in on almost everything that happened at Chase’s birthday party, leaving out the intimate details between Y/N and I. Although, with the way my cheeks burned red, I had a feeling Dr. Poulos already knew. 
I explained from top to bottom everything from the last time Y/N and I  spoke to the night she told me she loved me back. Even saying the term ‘I love you’ was a huge step on the mountain for me. But to have her say it back? I’m finally catching up on years of sleep. Y/N loves me. She fucking loves me back. 
“Do you believe her?” Dr. Poulos questioned. 
“I do! I do, I love her with all of me,” I answered with a stern nod. “I just don’t know how to stop worrying about Y/N leaving if shit gets messy or if I don’t live up to her expectations. There’s this perception of me out there and even so, I don’t want it to taint her or us.” 
She sat straighter in her chair. “Noah, you’re putting too much work on yourself. You really are. You’re both heavily aware of who you are as people. You’re human beings.”
Dr. Poulos adjusted her glasses and took some notes before speaking again when I remained silent.
“From everything you’ve explained; you both seem to be willing to start over. Start with a new slate, the situation at the party seemed to have changed the situation from both of your points of view. I have homework for you.”
I playfully rolled my eyes. “Oh, but you know I’m busy, I don’t have time to do homework. I haven’t done homework since I was 15.” 
“Not that type of homework,” she chuckled. “What I’m saying is now that we’ve set the foundation regarding perspective, energy, and intention, we can move on to what to actually say to Y/N about your unmet needs and your fears of emotional and maybe physical abandonment.”
She went into each definition thoroughly as I sat with my hands resting on my knee, listening intently.
“I wouldn’t go that far. Abandonment? That sounds silly and almost too serious. I don’t know about that,” I said once she finished. 
With a sigh, Dr. Poulos shut her book and set it on the table between us. “Noah, we’ve been seeing each other a while now. It’s my personal observation you indeed have conditions hindering you from this. It’s why you’re having a difficult time communicating and allowing this new slate to happen without fear.” 
To be frank, I didn’t want to hear the entire gist. All it did was give me flashbacks of things I wasn’t comfortable dealing with. At least I thought I wasn’t prepared to handle it, I suppose I was now. I knew I needed to have a prosperous and healthy life, as well as one with Y/N. 
“Noah? Noah, are you listening?”
I blinked a few times. “No, I’m sorry, can you repeat what you said?” 
“Every satisfied emotional need breeds connection and deepens your bond. Therefore, every unmet need has the opposite effect. It breeds disconnection. This happens because when your needs aren’t consistently met, it produces anxiety in you, which leads to conflict, which, if not handled skillfully, breeds further disconnection, and on and on. The cycle is never-ending.”
She spoke so softly, so calmly while I sat there with my hands in my lap so desperately trying to get into what she was saying to me.
To be blunt? This was a-fucking-lot.
Dr. Poulos tucked a strand of hair that fell loose from her bun to behind her ear. “Noah, you and Y/N must erase any confusion or doubt surrounding your needs. Learn to powerfully communicate your needs using a simple yet powerful template, and overcome the two most common barriers to having your needs consistently met.”
She handed me a piece of paper to which I took it from her hands and began to skim over it while she kept talking. 
“I offer suggestions for what to say, but they are merely suggestions. The goal is that you speak from your heart and express your truth with love and gentleness. I have a worksheet for you, review it. Think about it, and see what you can come up with. Practice in the mirror.”
On the drive leaving therapy, I thought back to my entire session with Dr. Poulos. It all seemed so silly, so corny. It did. However, I had to put my ego aside to let myself take in the seriousness of what was in front of me. I didn’t want anything to destroy my future with Y/N, hell even me just as a man. I had to do this.  
To realize I’m not powerless and finally take charge of creating the loving dynamic that I for so long struggled to have and keep.
Maybe this week away in the house Bad Omens rented would help clear my mind and I could practice this worksheet she gave me; when I wasn’t busy recording the new record. 
Instead of going straight home, I had to make a quick stop at Y/N’s place. As I knocked on their apartment door, I waited not so patiently with excitement in my veins. Malcolm opened the door with Salem in his arms.
I clapped my hands while stepping inside. “There he is!” 
Chase snorted from the living room as I took Salem from Malcolm. “Clearly, Salem will be fine while we’re gone.” 
“Y/N isn’t getting him back so easy, I hope she knows that,” I scratched Salem between his eyes; his favorite spot. 
“Oh, by the way,” Malcolm started while handing me the bag of Salem’s things. “I know you guys have a couple hour drive to your rental house but Salem hates the carrier. He’ll most likely move around the car before settling into someone’s lap.” 
“Have you guys thought about buying him a harness and leash?” I suggested. 
Chase sucked in a breath. “Do not tell Y/N that. She won’t even let Salem sit in front of an open window because she’s afraid he’ll jump out and run away.” 
“Speaking of Y/N,” I adjusted Salem in my arms. “Is she home?” 
“No, not yet. Do you want to stay and wait? See her before we leave?” Malcolm offered with a smile. 
I looked at my watch and internally cringed. The guys were waiting for me to get back from therapy before heading out towards our rental house a few hours away. 
“Shit, I would but I have to get back home. Plus, I don’t want to push her. I want this to happen naturally,” I said. 
Chase snorted, now standing next to Malcolm. “Yeah, okay.” 
“I’m serious,” I chuckled. 
“We know, dude. But, you could always-.” 
“I have to get back home,” I said, interrupting Malcolm. “But I’ll text Y/N later.” 
“Okay,” Chase says in a sing-song voice, belting out the last few words. “Whatever you say.” 
I cringed, covering Salem’s ears. “Wow, almost as good as me. Except, my ear drums are probably fucked now.” 
“Oh fuck you, Mr. Steve Perry meets Cher. I can sing,” he held his hands up. 
“No, you can’t, love” Malcom left a kiss on Chase’s cheek. 
He looked between us with a wild expression. “WOW! Taking his side!?” 
“Well!,” I adjusted Salem and the bag. “That’s my queue to leave.”
“Figures, thank you for taking care of your new cat,” Chase said.  
“My new cat?”
“Salem Sebastian L/N, that’s pretty much his name now,” Malcolm said while throwing his auburn-colored hair up into a messy bun.  
I hastily shook my head. “We haven’t even labeled it yet.” 
Chase and Malcolm shared a look before the former spoke. “Oh no, we’re not doing this again. You and Y/N are two peas in a pod, and I know how badly you both want to be in that pod.” 
“Especially with that new haircut,” Malcolm nodded towards my short hair. 
“Okay, I’m leaving,” I bid them goodbye with a nod and turned on my heels, stepping through the door. 
“Bye Salem’s dad! Talk to you later,” Chase called after me. 
On the drive back home, Salem was perched in my lap with his front paws resting on the door, his wondrous eyes taking in every sight I drove past. 
“You know,” my voice broke the silence. “I guess your uncle isn’t exactly wrong, Salem. I mean, I could be your dad. Do you want me to be your dad? I think you do.”
He then positioned himself so he could curl up in my lap, his soft purrs vibrating against me. 
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NOAH
“Are you guys ok with steaks tonight?” Jolly asked from the kitchen. 
Matt, who sat next to me on the couch, nodded eagerly. “We’ve eaten like shit the last two days. A nice home-cooked meal sounds delicious, thanks, honey.” 
Jolly flipped him off with a smile before going back to getting things set up for dinner. 
Nicholas and Folio were talking amongst themselves on the couch next to the one I sat on, but the conversations fell on deaf ears as I continuously scrolled through my phone. The last two days, we’d been locked away in the rental house recording the new album and now, we were taking a much-needed break tonight, opting to grill out and have a bonfire; Jesse and Michael joined us earlier today. 
The guys and I have been talking about this for a while now and after the incident right before we left to come up to the mountains, it was time for us to put this idea into motion. 
Also, the picture I saw on Y/N’s Instagram story minutes before had me set in stone with my decision. 
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“We need a bigger house,” I blurted, nearly scaring Salem as he slept between Matt and me. 
Jolly nearly dropped the raw steaks while Jesse turned towards me from his spot at the kitchen table. 
“That’s random,” Michael said slowly while pausing his mixing at the laptop station. 
I shrugged. “We’ve been thinking of moving anyway because of the notes on the car incident and now with that fan showing up on our doorstep, I think it’s about time we move. Too many people know where we live.” 
My three roommates shared a glance before Jesse spoke next. “I mean, we have been browsing Zillow lately. A few have come up that we liked.” 
Jolly agreed with a nod. “I’ll send an email to the realtor who was working with us before. See if she can get us set up with some tours.” 
“Tomorrow,” I said. 
“Kind of last minute, don’t you think?” Nicholas asked. 
“We’re going to be busy for the next few months. I’d rather get this shit done and over with.” 
Matt, who was scrolling through his phone next to me, snorted quietly. “I’d suggest looking for hardwood floors or tile.”
I turned toward him while narrowing my eyes. “What?” 
“For the paint spills, it’s easier to clean,” he said while showing me his phone; Y/N’s Instagram post up on the screen. “Look at your face! You’re totally turning turnip fucking red!
With a bashful smile, I scratched my chin. “No, I’m not.” 
“Noah and Y/N sitting in a large tree because of Noah’s height! K. I. S. S. I. N. G!”
I shoved Matt. “Fuck off.” 
Then I turned back to my roommates. “We need a bigger space with seven bedrooms.” 
Jolly quirked a brow. “Seven?” 
“Uh,” I ran my hands over my thighs. “Y/N wants a studio for her art, her paintings. I want to make sure she has one.” 
Michael smiled. “Well that certainly is a grand gesture isn’t it?” 
“It’s something I want to do, man,” I defended. 
“I know, Noah. We’ll find a bigger place, it’ll all work out,” he reassured me. 
“I hope so.”
Jolly paused prepping dinner to send an email to our realtor, Jackie, as we all spent the rest of the night searching for different houses that would be perfect. All the while, Folio’s phone conversation rested on my ears. 
“I know those Mexican candies are your favorite, Michelle. Why do you think I sent you them?” Folio chuckled with a wide smile. 
“Noah,  it’s almost ten!” Nicholas called from the deck outside. 
The patio door was open, letting in the cool night air, and I was helping Jolly clean up the mess from dinner. Salem sat on the counter, every so often licking up the leftover food from the plates I was washing. 
“Shit,” I cursed, quickly drying my hands, and pulled out my phone. 
However, before I could send the nightly text to Y/N, one from her appeared. 
Angel 🪽: I love you, mochi. 
Jolly peered over my shoulder. “Oh, that’s adorable.” 
I playfully stuck out my tongue at him. “Someone is nosy.” 
My fingers worked fast to text Y/N back. 
Me: I love you too, angel.
Part of me didn’t want to stop talking to her yet so while leaning against the counter, I scrolled through the videos folder on my phone, selecting the one I took earlier today. It was when we finished mastering The Grey and I was feeling great about how it came out, confident that Y/N would love it so I recorded Salem as he slept during it. Before recording another video of me singing it. 
I sent her the first video I took; the one of Salem lying on the couch while The Grey played in the background. 
Angel 🪽: Hi Salem baby! Mom misses you! Also, I hear something in the background. Is it..?
I decided to mess with her and not come out right and say it was that song. The one that she gave Jolly the lyrics to. The one she thought was too dark for herself. 
Me: He’s napping. He had a long day of playing outside. 
I laughed out loud, knowing that her brows were raised to her forehead with this text. 
Angel 🪽: You took him outside?
“Do you think Mom is upset with me?” I asked the cat, who simply didn’t bother to care what I was showing him; he wanted the leftover mashed potatoes from Matt’s plate. 
Me: Don’t worry, angel. We had him on a harness and leash. He loved laying in the sun on the back patio.
Angel 🪽: I trust you with him, Noah. But what’s that playing in the background of your video?
With my finger hovering over the other video I took, I contemplated sending it. Was it too much? Was it not enough? Would she figure it out? I mean, it was partially her words- meaningful, important. I just added to them. Both of us pulled out the dark from each other. Adding it shirtless, was just another decision- a good, good decision. I wanted her clenching and biting her lip. 
Not bothering to overthink it any longer, I hit send.
Me: I can’t wait for you to hear the final version.
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NOAH
Mother fucker. 
Piece of shit. 
Douchebag. 
I paced the floor in the living room of the rental house, back and forth. I was so angry, the rage inside me was desperately trying to break through. Ever since I saw that video all over Twitter and Instagram, no amount of meditation and deep breathing could calm the burning anger. 
I should have hit him when I had the chance. 
Fucking Trey. 
“You’re doing the pacing thing again, Noah,” Nicholas sighed. 
I ran my fingers through my hair, one of the stands wrapped around my long finger, a hiss falling from my lips when I tugged on a knot. “Ow!” 
“Sit down! Stop pacing and stop tugging your damn hair! You’re giving me whiplash.” Matt demanded. 
“You saw the video, Matt!  It’s been all over Twitter and Instagram all fucking day. I can't even check Bad Omens socials without it showing up. You heard what Trey said to Y/N! He had no regard for her feelings, for any of them. He has no fucking business even being there to begin with.”
It seemed like last night after the Hollow Souls show, Trey managed to get backstage and confront Y/N, Chase, and Malcolm. No one was sure who recorded it but from how close the video was, my guess was one of the venue workers. Probably sold it to TMZ for a few extra bucks. 
“I’m aware, Noah. We’re all aware and so is half of Twitter. He’s an asshole and his dad should have pulled out,” Matt said. 
I snorted, halting my pacing only for a moment. “We should tweet that.” 
He chuckled, “You know I’m game.”
Jesse spoke next. “There’s nothing you can do, Noah. But based on her reaction, Y/N stood up for herself. She got the closure and told Trey to fuck off. You can’t control and fix everything. She handled it on her own.” 
I marveled at how much he sounded like Dr. Poulos. Always reminding me of what I can’t control. I knew I couldn’t control or fix anything but it still made me angry. 
“He still had no right to say things like that; not to her,” I fell onto the couch next to Michael, my leg immediately beginning to bounce. 
Bailey told Y/N a piece of her mind, followed by Trey. I could only imagine how broken she must have felt with the two in such a short amount of time. But Y/N was a strong woman. She held her head high and always took the high road. She defended herself and stood up for what she believed in, what she wanted out of life. 
For that, I will always admire her. 
Matt leaned against the pool stick in his hand, he and Jolly pausing their game of pool when I rushed down the steps to show them the video. 
“I get it. So many fucking people with their opinions and people who say shit just to say it; even that slimy fuck. But, think of how fucking cool Y/N is. She told him off and he's never going to come back from that. Trust me, everyone’s trashing him. I doubt he’ll ever be in a fuckin band again.” 
“You’re right,” I smiled proudly. 
He snorted, going back to the pool game. “I know I am, thank you.” 
Peering at the clock on the wall, I noticed it was only 7 in the evening, still a few hours until my nightly text with Y/N. Although I wanted to ask her about how she was feeling but knew that if it was something to worry about, Chase or Malcolm would have texted me. 
I was, however, shocked when I received a text from an unknown number; the message making me sit straighter up on the couch. Michael noticed the way my body went stiff for a brief moment and motioned to my phone. 
“Don’t tell me it’s another video.” 
“No,” I shook my head. “It’s a text; from Joe.” 
Folio’s head snapped up from petting Salem who was lying in his lap. “Joe Mulherin. The artist they’re touring with?” 
I nodded now. “Yeah.” 
Unknown: Hey Noah, this is Joe. I got your number from Chase and Malcolm. This is a little awkward but I wanted to introduce myself. I’ve actually listened to your band- you’re really talented! The acoustic version of If I’m There was killer, seriously.
“Oh, is he sweet-talking you?” Matt asked while peering over my shoulder as he knelt behind the couch. 
As I went about saving his number, another message from Joe came through. 
Joe Mulherin: I’m texting you because I’m sure you saw the video of what happened with Trey and Y/N. I will firstly say, she’s fucking awesome! And I’m honored to be on this tour with her and the guys. Incredible musicians and incredible people. Gearing back to the whole Trey situation, he showed up out of nowhere; but I feel it’s important to let you know, at least from my side, that Y/N kicked ass. She stood up for herself and I could see she felt a world of relief.
“What are you going to say?” Jesse asked while taking a bite from his apple, now sitting on the other side of me. 
“No fucking privacy,” I grumbled under my breath as I worked out a response. 
Me: Hey Joe, it’s Noah. I’ve heard a lot about you as well. Y/N has been a huge fan of yours for a long time. She was stoked about this tour, and yes she is awesome. Y/N’s special to a lot of us. She’s a genuine person and has a heart of gold; Chase and Malcolm as well. I appreciate your kind words. That means a lot. You know how it is- especially in this industry. And I did see the video, unfortunately. You were there?
Joe Mulherin: In case she needed support.
Running a hand over my jaw, I pushed away the feeling of regret for not being there for her. Y/N didn’t need me there with her all the time to fight her battles. She clearly could do it on her own. 
Me: Right, thank you for that. I hated what Trey said, I wish I could have stopped it myself but I also know how important it was for Y/N to have closure. I’m so fucking proud of her.
It was true. My heart was soaring in my chest with how proud I was of her. She needed this closure. Not enough to bring her back or get closer to him because Y/N knew she couldn't live through that again. 
Joe Mulherin: You should be proud. She’s awesome and she’s over the moon about you. From what I’m told you really lit a fire inside her, and that seems to be shining through. My partner did that for me when I found her and I’m sure it’s the same for you as well. So I just wanted to pass this along and formally introduce myself. I’m sure Y/N will bring this up to you but I wanted to show you how I saw it on my end. I hope we can meet soon.
Joe Mulherin: Oh, also. Hollow Souls new record is going to be sick. What they’ve been working on is sounding great.
With a bright smile, I leaned back onto the couch as I typed out my message. 
Me: For sure! Thank you so much. I wish I could be there. But, I understand it’s not the right time. I do hope soon we can chill at my place to shoot the shit. Thank you again for sending me a text. Very kind of you and I’m sure we’ll talk soon. I can’t wait to hear her new album. We’re all very stoked about it. We’re also close to releasing our record, I’d love for you to check it out! 
Joe Mulherin: Hell yes!
Matt hummed while patting my shoulder. “He seems like a cool dude.” 
I agreed with a nod as a sudden surge of inspiration hit me; so much so I sat up with a start. 
“Hey, Jolly. Can you open the file for Like a Villain? I have a verse I want to add real quick.” 
Nicholas responded. “Weren’t we worried that it might have been too long?” 
Cursing, I nodded when I remembered that we were running into that issue the other day when we were mixing Like a Villain. We were already over the five-minute mark but I needed to add this verse; it was important. 
“Let’s split it. Make the first half its own song,” I suggested when the idea struck me. 
My bandmates all shared a look before Folio nodded. “I like it. But we’d need a name for it.” 
I pursed my lips as I thought about the lyrics, humming them quietly. 
You couldn't wait, wait, wait for the day, day, day I lost. It's such a shame, shame, shame you couldn't change, look what it cost.
“What It Cost,” I said. 
Jolly smiled. “I like it. Why don’t you head in the booth and we can record the new lyrics.” 
As I set myself up in the booth, I muttered the new lyrics to myself a few times over, trying to figure out the best way to lay them out and what kind of cursive to use for it. The music picked up in my headphones and immediately moved to the beat. My fingers drummed against my thigh in beat with Folio’s drumming on the track. I let my eyes flutter shut, licking my lips, before belting out the fresh lyrics in the confines of the booth. 
The dark filled the room, any feelings I had earlier regarding Trey died down, and the shadows were lost. A fry of my larynx and siren-like soprano erupted from me.  Slowly the bravado went from soft almost alluring- “Go the fuck away, don’t come again.” 
To a bite so vicious and raw, the growls come from activated my soft palate, ribcage expanding and within my diaphragm spreading to my throat and out my mouth. 
“I’ll see your face in the fire” ribcage closed exhale alto “And burn it out.”
I added a deep growl to the word fire but didn’t like how it sounded. So with a twirl of my finger towards Jolly, we redid the take a few more times until it was perfect. 
This is confidence hard-won yet deep, anchored in the true self that is always safe at my core. I let it rip. If Y/N can close that chapter, so will I. From what I knew of him, what I remembered. What I’ve seen. 
Good fucking riddance.
Later that night in the comfort of my bed, I grasped my phone in my hand as my eyes drifted in and out of sleep. It was almost 10 pm and even though I was exhausted, ready for slumber to drag me to its dark depths, I needed to send this text; sleep be damned. 
Me: I love you, angel. I’m so proud of you. 
I didn’t say why but I didn’t have to. Y/N knew. 
Angel 🪽: I love you too, mochi. 🖤
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NOAH
I shook my head with a disappointed sigh. “No, this house won’t work. It’s not big enough. “
Jackie looked around the living room we were all currently standing in; smaller than the one back at our house. 
“Why? It has enough space for the four of you. You’re all in music, right? There’s a room perfect in the basement for that.” 
Jolly sucked in a breath as I scrunched up my face. We want our studio to have light, and not feel as if we’re making music in a dungeon.
“We need four rooms for us and two extra. One for our studio. And the other would have to be bigger, better lighting,” I informed while stuffing my hands in the pockets of my jeans. 
This was the second house we’ve toured today; Jesse, Jolly, Michael, and myself. We took the day off of recording to do this, so to see yet another one fail, my mood souring pretty quickly. 
“What are you wanting it for?” Jackie wondered. 
“An art studio.”
She shifted on her feet while clutching her iPad to her chest; the one she used to look up the dimensions and notes of the houses. “Mr. Sebastian, we can keep looking if you’d like, however, you’re asking for a little much in this area. I don’t mean to pry or speak out of turn, but it sounds like you’re asking for a risky property. Are you sure you need something of that magnitude if it’s only a few of you living here?”
My eyes narrowed as Jesse let out a low whistle. “I was very clear about what I wanted. I personally don’t believe I need to discuss the details of why I need it.” 
“Of course, I apologize,” Jackie’s lips were pulled in a tight line. “It sounds like you’re asking for more out of pocket than what’s actually necessary.”
“With all due respect, don't tell me what you think is necessary. I want the home to be right, for all of us. And what I want and need is a space large enough for 2 studios and the master bedroom to be fully sufficient with space. The details don’t concern you. You either want our money or you don’t,” I finished with a shrug. 
“My apologies, we will keep looking.”
While Jackie went about looking for another listing on her iPad, I turned towards the guys; Michael giving me a reassuring smile. 
“Don’t stress too much about it, Noah. It’s only the second house.” 
“Y/N’s art studio has to be next to my room, with the perfect lighting and easy cleanup. I don’t want her feeling uneasy if paint gets everywhere,” I said. 
“Is this how you actually feel or is this your OCD talking?” Jesse wondered. 
I rubbed my jaw. “No, no it’s not just about that shit. She needs to be comfortable where she doesn’t feel the need to be careful. Y/N needs to be able to be carefree and safe. Here. With me.”
Jolly rested a hand on my shoulder. “It will be fine, I promise.” 
“I know,” I blew out a shaky breath. “I don’t want her to be unhappy here and give her a reason to walk out”. 
“Noah, she’s gonna love this so much. Y/N isn’t going to just walk away from this. Not this time,” Jesse reassured me. 
Feeling a little more at ease, I gave a slow nod. “Oh, we need a big window with a lot of light too. Salem loves to sunbathe.”
Michael snorted. “You say those three words and all of a sudden you become a cat dad.” 
Damn straight. 
With a plan to tour a few more houses in two days, we parted ways with Jackie and piled into Jolly’s car as he began the drive back to the rental house we were staying in the last week. Right before we arrived, however, my phone rang with a call from one of the reps at Sumerian. 
“Oh boy,” I muttered while answering the call, setting it on speaker. 
“Hey, guys! How’s it going? I see that you guys are busy recording. We love that!” Logan’s fake voice boasted through the phone. 
Jolly and I shared a look in the rearview mirror and I nodded. “Yep. We’ve been working nonstop.” 
“Well listen, we’re getting some push from the higher-ups, with everything going on and we know you guys have been working endlessly, the singles we’ve been approved to release are straight-up fire! However, we need something else. We need a hit. The radio push would be great for the band- exposure and all that. Think you can do it?” 
“Yes,” I forced out through gritted teeth. 
One thing I didn’t like was being told how to work and how to create my music. 
“Awesome!” Logan cheered. “We’ll talk soon!”
Once the call ended, I tossed my phone in my lap and ran my hands down my face. 
“Fuck, they’re pushing this radio shit. I don’t give a fuck about the radio, that’s not why we do this.” 
“I know,” Jolly nodded while he took the turn to the familiar street. “But business calls. This is the unfavorable side. The question is, how are we going to magically write a hit in this short amount of time? We planned on releasing the album in a few weeks.”
“It’s easy, writing a modern rock song isn’t hard, Jolly.” I shrugged. “We’ve seen how many of the greats have done it. I have one just in mind.” 
Jesse turned towards me from his spot in the passenger seat. “Are you going to pull out your Scott Stap voice?” 
I smirked. “Fuck, maybe I will. 
“You have to use that false bravado,” Michael smacked my arm. 
I knew I could do this, I wasn’t attempting to sound cocky but, like I said many of the greats knew how this went down. 
Business.
Business.
Fuck business 
I feel it right into my bones that I’ve got more than it takes to make this work. I began humming random sounds, my facial expressions twitching, the cogs just continuing to turn. I had the perfect sound. It all came to me like a gust of wind. 
When you resonate your mind with your soul, you will learn to live through a love that is so honest it is raw. There was another risk with a song like this; with writing like this. 
I needed to get it out of me.
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NOAH
I sat outside on the deck of the rental house, the fresh morning air was crisp but fine enough to wear a sweater; the heat of the sun warmed the skin of my face. Salem lay stretched out on the warm wood of the deck, his black fur shining with the rays of the sun. 
“Don’t tell Mom I didn’t put your harness on,” I pointed to him 
I realized early on that Salem wouldn’t run, curious as he was, he always stayed by one of us. 
My laptop was set up on the table in front of me, the Zoom app idling as it waited for the incoming call. With the stress of trying to come up with a radio hit in less than a few weeks, my anxiety was running rampant. Even though I had the song all laid out in my mind, it still scared me to finally put it out in the air for everyone to hear. 
I texted Dr. Poulos if she had time for a few-minute chat, one she agreed with. Thankfully her prior appointment was also a Zoom meeting so she was able to hop right on another one with me. 
Jolly appeared in the doorway leading outside, donning his leather jacket. The wind blew through the long strands of his hair as he nodded towards me. 
“I’m heading to that newish coffee shop nearby. Did you want anything?” He asked. 
“I could go for something,” I nodded while taking off the hood of my yellow sweater. 
After I gave him my order, I noticed the way the corner of his lips curled before he turned to walk away. 
“Try not to fall in love!” I called after him with a laugh. 
Jolly froze and then looked over his shoulder. “Wh-what?” 
“The coffee,” I smirked. “Try not to fall in love with it. I’m all open to something new but we like our usual.”
“Oh,” he ran a hand through his hair. “Right.” 
With Jolly gone, my computer lit up with a new call from Dr.Poulos and I answered it with a faint smile. 
“Good afternoon, Noah. How’s it going in the mountains?” She smiled wide at me.
“Uh, really great actually. We always like to find some kind of solace when we either write or record; it helps us mentally,” I answered while moving the screen to show her the mountains behind me. 
“That’s wonderful to hear! Now, you mentioned something about your record label pushing for a radio hit?” Dr. Poulos adjusted her glasses. 
I ran a hand through my hair while nodding. “Yeah. I have no problem with that; writing it. It’s been inside of me for a while now.  I just don’t know what to call it. I keep putting that part off, pretending it’s already completed so it’ll name itself.” 
“Can I be frank with you?” 
“Of course,” I nodded. 
Dr. Poulos took off her glasses and steepled her hands together underneath her chin. “What do you feel like you’ve been doing, Noah? You’ve mentioned the word pretend on and off for a while in our sessions. Is that what you’re doing? Pretending things are going well when internally you’re struggling to accept the status you’re at with y/n?”
 My eyes snapped up from my keyboard to the screen. “What was that?” 
“Pretending? Are you just pretending?” 
Suddenly, it was as if I’d been hit with a metal baseball bat to the knee, knocking me to the ground below. 
Something Y/N told me that night of the party. “I’m so tired of you pretending that you don’t have feelings for me.” 
Just Pretend. 
That’s all I ever do.
Dr. Poulos spoke again. “You said your label is pressuring you to write a hit. Have you given any thought about if that pressure and the pressure of wanting to be with Y/N romantically is almost conjoined?”
I pursed my lips while leaning back into my chair, giving this question a deep analysis; although the answer came to me almost instantly. 
Yes. 
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NOAH
With a yawn, I held the steaming cup from the cafe in town as Salem and I walked out to the front porch, both of us opting to sit on the swinging chair this time. We had two days left in the rental house and I wanted to take full advantage of the peace that was held in the mountains. 
Something that maybe in a few years, I’d look for with Y/N. 
“Alright bud, ready to watch Mom’s interview?” I asked Salem as he got comfortable on my lap. 
He purred loudly in my lap as I pulled up the live stream from the podcast that was interviewing not only Y/N but Joe as well. He was finishing up his performance of one of his songs and when the camera panned over to Y/N, who was smiling as she watched, my heart soared. She looked fucking breathtaking and my soul yearned to have her close to me again. 
Soon. 
“Mom looks beautiful,” I whispered to Salem, who didn’t bother to wake from his nap. 
“That was phenomenal. We appreciate you being here with us.” 
I didn’t miss how the interviewer kept his attention on Joe, not bothering to give praise to Y/N. With a scowl, I kept the video up while opening my text messages, and clicking on her contact. I got a glimpse of her phone in her lap so I knew eventually she would see the message. 
Me: You look phenomenal, angel.
As I watched, I took a sip of my coffee, humming at the rich taste. I had to admit that this new coffee shop knew how to make a drink. 
“Everyone online is begging me to ask you two this but what’s the dating situation? There’s so much chemistry between the two of you in the behind-the-scenes clips you guys post on Instagram. Everyone wants to know; are you two dating?”
I rolled my eyes with a groan, knowing that this question was bound to be asked. It’s always a common thing any time two artists of the opposite sex tour together. People see the great chemistry between them and automatically think they’re fucking. Now, I did see the videos on Hollow Souls Instagram account but to me, it looked like a group of friends having fun while on tour; harmless fun. 
I trusted Y/N. She knew that. 
Y/N crossed her legs. “Just because a male and female artist tour together, doesn't mean they’re dating.”
A flood of endorphins rushed through me. The interview was important, but I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful and fucking sexy Y/N looked. A few moments in my imagination and I’m released from the troubles of the upper brain, wanting so badly to be happy with her in a space where pleasure is king, and I couldn’t wait to stick my head between the legs of my queen.
“Fuckin tell him, angel,” I said while working out a new text to her. 
Me: Tell him who’s boss, angel. You know who you belong to.
“See? Your mom is cool. Salem you should be watching this. No? Naps are important. I feel you,” I chuckled while scratching his head. 
I felt a surge of pride in my chest when Y/N continued to stand up to the interviewer, not taking his shit questions.  
“Video surfaced online that Trey was at the show a few nights ago and it looked like the two of you were having an intense conversation. Is there a chance he’s joining Hollow Souls again?”
My lips pulled in a low scowl as I saw a flash of pain behind Y/N’s eyes when she forced a smile before leaning forward with narrowed eyes. 
“Here’s what we’re not going to do; we’re not gonna focus on my love life, or personal life. I make art, not headlines. I’m cool because I'm me, and my band is cool. The art is what’s the focus, not anything else. I do feel as if people need to understand that having a private life is my right. I don’t feel comfortable sharing every aspect. Like I said, I make art, not headlines.”
The interviewer tried to joke. “That’s a bold statement to make. It comes with the whole fame territory.”
“I refuse to allow this time in my life to be touched, tainted, or bastardized by anyone,” Y/N finished while crossing her arms over her chest.
All the heat rushed straight to my dick with the image of Y/N bossing me around like that so I sent her another text. 
Me: Fuck I love when you put douchebags in their place. You’re so sexy, angel. Fuck. I’m going to think about you bossing me around all night.
I knew I succeeded when I noticed a red hue cross her cheeks and Y/N squeezed her legs together as she read my text.
As the interview continued, I began to sing lyrics that came out of nowhere. “I know the pain that you hide behind the smile on your face and not a day goes by where I don’t think I feel the same.”
Y/N’s soft voice brought my attention back to the interview. 
“I’m becoming a very private person as of late so I don’t need to go into the personal aspects of my life. Just know I’m moving past things, and I’m very content. Dare I say happy with where the future will be.”
The interviewer nodded. “Fair enough. Would you say you’re hopeful for what the future will bring?” 
With a bright smile, Y/N looked directly at the camera, her eyes staring directly into my soul, and winked. 
“Oh yes, more than hopeful.”
Once the interview ended, I locked my phone and began to swing on the chair, every so often petting Salem. The sun was hiding behind an array of dark clouds, a storm was approaching; the perfect kind of weather to cuddle inside with the ones you love. 
Or write a radio hit.
“I can wait for you at the bottom,” I hummed. “I can stay away if you want me to.” 
Salem woke and looked up at me with bright green eyes. 
“I can wait for years if I gotta, heaven knows I ain’t getting over you,” I hummed, this time louder. 
My eyes bulged as I picked up Salem and ran back inside to where Jolly and Matt were lounging on the couch. 
“They want their radio hit? Well, I’m going to fucking give it to them!” I smiled widely as they looked up at me. 
Hours later after the song was written, all of us hung out in the living room of the rental house; Jesse and Michael playing pool, Folio on the phone with his girlfriend, Nicholas and Jolly working on the music for the new song. Matt and I were sitting on the couch together watching a movie, Salem perched on the back of the couch, resting his head on Matt’s shoulder. 
Noticing it was nearing 10 p.m., I pulled out my phone to text Y/N only to realize she texted me already with four pictures attached. 
Angel 🪽: You were bold to text me earlier like that, mochi, I could barely contain myself. Here’s a little payback. Hope you’re all flustered and bothered, whatever you’re doing I suppose will have to wait. Dream of me. I love you.
Clicking on the first picture, I nearly dropped my phone in my lap when the bright red lingerie graced my eyes. 
Holy shit. 
Y/N seemed to be in the bathroom of her tour bus as she posed in different positions showcasing the red lace teddy that hugged every inch of her marvelously. The color red did absolute wonders for her skin and I licked my lips, wanting to taste the valley between her breasts down her stomach to the sweet mound between her legs. The floral tattoo on her arm looked gorgeous as she held the phone out wide for the picture. 
Tilting my phone away from prying eyes, I quickly sent four texts in a row to Y/N. 
Me: Matt’s right next to me, angel. What if he saw this?
Me: fuck, my dick is throbbing right now but I can’t do shit about it. Consider this my karma.
Me: I can’t stop staring at the pictures. Fuck, you’re gorgeous. Beautiful. A true definition of an angel. 
Me: I’m going to call you in a little bit. I need to hear your voice. I need it.
My cock was aching in my joggers and I tried so hard not to make it noticeable as I shifted in my seat. 
Matt peered over at me with a raised brow. “You good?” 
I coughed. “Yep. I’m going to head to bed.” 
All but jumping from the couch, I made my way upstairs towards my room but Jesse’s voice stopped me. 
“You’re not bringing Salem? He always sleeps with you.” 
Running a hand over my jaw. “I’m going to take a shower first then I’ll grab him.” 
“Right after you look at those pictures Y/N’s sent you again,” Matt teased, not bothering to take his eyes off the television. 
A low growl came from my throat as I pointed to him. “You didn’t see shit.” 
He raised his hands in the air. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” 
Bidding them goodnight with a nod, I took the stairs two at a time and then locked the door to my room. My skin felt a blaze, those images burned in my brain, and my cock was almost standing straight out as I peered down at it; a tent in my joggers. 
Y/N texted me and I let out a shuddering breath as I read it, trying to compose myself for a minute. 
Angel 🪽: I’m going to bed early tonight. Maybe we can talk on the phone tomorrow. I love you.
Even in my aroused state, my heart yearned for the one that held it and my soul in her hands. 
Me: Fuck, I love you too angel. So fucking much.
Quickly shedding myself from my clothes I then positioned myself on the bed, my hair falling into waves against the pillow as I planted my feet on the edge of the mattress. My knees were up and spread wide as my cock stood straight up, little beads of precum oozing from the small slit. I took a finger and swirled it all around the sensitive part of my head. 
“Fuck,” my hips bucked with the high amount of sensitivity. 
My room was eerily quiet, too quiet for what I was about to do, so I turned on some music; more specifically Eyelids by Hollow Souls. 
If she couldn’t be here with me physically, I needed to hear her angelic voice somehow. 
I glanced at the pictures on my phone again, focusing on the one of Y/N sitting on the bathroom counter, her legs spread wide showcasing her sweet pussy that was barely covered behind the red lace, and her perfect tits were almost falling out at the top of the lingerie set. The sinister smirk on his lips told me she knew what I was going to do the second I was alone. 
I was fucking obsessed with how that teddy looked on her; her knowing what the color red did to me. It was so sexy, all I wanted to do was take it off with my teeth. I imagined Y/N as she rode me while wearing this teddy and she shoved the panties in my mouth when I would moan too loud. 
“Oh god,” I groaned while gripping my cock tight after pulling on the skin. 
Her voice sang sweet words to me but all I could imagine was her leaning over me to drag her lips across my throat. 
“You’re being too loud, Noah. We can’t risk the others hearing you.” 
I could almost taste those panties soaked with her arousal and I halted my stroking for a second. 
“Fuck! I have to improvise,” I leaned over the bed to rummage through my suitcase to find a thin sock.  
I hesitated for a brief second. “Shit, am I really doing this just to help get me off?” 
The image was still clear in my mind, Y/N riding my cock with her panties shoved in my mouth. 
“Fuck it,” I stuffed the sock in my mouth and began stroking my cock faster this time. 
I knew I wouldn’t last long, my orgasm burning low at the base of my spine and my stomach muscles contracted as I spread my knees wider apart. I lifted my hips off the bed when the grip around my cock was almost bruising, needing the slight pain to push me closer to release. One hand around my cock, the other holding my phone with the picture of Y/N, I supported my moans into the sock. 
If I was being honest, Eros took hold of me. I couldn’t wait to be able to actually fuck Y/N again. I’d make love to her every night, no question. This evening, carnality took flight. I wanted to leave her shaking, crying, and clawing at my chest. Begging me to never stop.
“Oh gods, angel. I can’t wait to feel you again,” I moaned into the sock as I nearly dropped my phone when my orgasm was so close. 
My grip was tighter and pace faster when I laid my legs straight out now, ready for pure euphoric bliss to drown me in waves. 
I was completely blissed out and exhausted, but I needed this release. I tried harder to hold the phone up eventually losing grip of it as it clattered to the floor. With my free hand, I now grasped at the blanket beneath me when my orgasm finally ripped through me. Warm cum shot out on my hand and stomach as I rode out the aftershocks with muffled screams, the song ending right as I finished. 
“That’s so good, Noah. So good for me,” Y/N’s soft voice cooed in my ear. 
As I came down from my high, one thing was clear. I wanted Y/N  imprinted in my mind as vividly as possible, not that her silhouette wasn’t always there already. I could feel my tongue involuntarily move in a wiper direction. Naturally envision grazing her insides with my warm, wet tongue.
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NOAH
Folio came bounding down the stairs with a happy smile on his face. I raised a brow to him as I sat on the couch, strumming a few notes on the guitar. 
“Where are you headed?” I asked. 
“I’ve got a date with Michelle tonight. We’re going to Wingstop then head to the drive-in. It’s showing her favorite Cillian Murphy movie,” he answered while slipping into his leather vest.
“Taking the bike out?” Jolly asked from his spot at the computer as he paused mixing our current track. 
“We’re going to have a picnic at the drive-in; there’s a nice area designated for this. Michelle has no idea. I’m planning on surprising her after she gets out of class by picking her up.” 
“Good for you, man. I’m really happy that things are going so well for you,” Nicholas smiled. 
“You guys don’t need me tonight, right?” He asked. 
I shook my head with a smile. “No, go enjoy your night. We can't do much drum tracking here anyway. Tell Michelle we say hey.” 
“WEAR A CONDOM!” Matt, who was sitting on the floor playing with Salem and his new batch of toys, yelled just before the door shut behind Folio. 
While Jesse and Michael played a game of pool, I shifted my attention to the notebook on the coffee table. Tonight we had plans to record our new song but nerves were eating away at my insides. To become so raw and vulnerable in front of everyone as I poured my heart and soul out into the song gave me a bit of pause. 
“You know what’s wild?” I asked suddenly. 
“What’s that?” Jolly questioned while turning around in his chair. 
“It’s crazy how everything always comes full circle, I guess. With our last record, I said, “writing songs instead of letters, 'cause I’m too afraid.” 
“Have you written actual letters?” Matt questioned while lying on the floor with Salem, his head resting in the new bed I bought Salem. 
“Sort of,” I shrugged while tapping the pen against my notebook. “More like entries to Y/N, I guess. I can’t write fucking letters to her knowing that there’s a chance they’d get lost and she’d never get them.” 
I sighed while running a hand down my face. “The only way I know how to express how I feel is through music. I have these lines I keep repeating over and over; things I've said, things I haven't. I just need to make sure that when Y/N hears this song she knows how I truly feel.” 
“Here we thought you were writing this song out of spite to the label, or poke fun at radio hits,” Jolly jokes. 
“I don’t know what that means. They wanted a fucking hit so we’re going to give it to them. 
Nicholas rubbed my shoulder. “She knows, Noah. You two say I love you every night.” 
“I know but I need her to know how I feel deep down. How sorry I am for how everything went down the last few months. The fighting, Bailey, and not being who she needed when she needed me.” 
The guilt about Bailey still lingered. The way Y/N’s face looked so broken when she found out about me sleeping with Bailey. I have a lot of regrets in my life and that was one of them. Y/N and I are in a good place but I couldn’t help but worry that she still wasn’t over what happened. 
I couldn't risk any reason to have Y/N leave me again. 
“The both of you have grown since then. You’re where you’re supposed to be right now and soon, when Y/N hears this song, she’ll never leave,” Michael reassured me. 
Jesse agreed with a nod. “We’ve read the lyrics, Noah. It’s a great song.” 
“It's not hard to guess what the true meaning behind the song is. You’ve been subconsciously working on it off and on for months.”
“Jolly-.” 
He continued. “You both need to just make it official already. Your perfectionist nature and need to control everything is making this not so simple. You’re both so alike. You’re right there. You're saying I love you, call a spade a spade and ask her to be yours.” 
I stared down at the socks on my feet. “If Y/N shows up to the album release event maybe I can officially ask her then.” 
“Maybe?” Matt snorted. “What the hell do you mean, maybe? You’re looking for houses with an art studio and you’re saying maybe? Of course, she’ll be there.”
“You’ve done everything you’ve set your fucking mind to, Noah. Don’t let this be another thing you regret,” Nicholas said.
I wanted to let this song be the rock and holy anchor for her. Coming to terms from a healthier perspective. 
New beginnings. 
My vulnerability was laid out on paper. If anyone else needed to hear it it would be there for them. The message is there, you’d just have to find it. 
The way travelers seek the stars at night.
With a deep breath, I tossed the notebook back onto the table, not needing it because I knew every single word of this song. So much so, I sang it in my sleep. 
“Give me five minutes, I need to do something first,” I called over my shoulder as I walked towards the bathroom of the rental house. 
Once inside, I pulled out my phone with a long sigh and worked out the long message. 
Me: Hi angel. I know it’s not 10 o’clock yet but I felt the need to text you a little sooner. Shit has been weighing on me. I want to apologize for what I put you through. The miscommunication, the mind games, the confusion, and Bailey. I should never have brought her into any of our lives.  It was a dark moment that I succumbed to and I’ll never forgive myself for using Bailey as a way to hurt you. It was never my intention. I was drunk the night I slept with her, not saying it’s an excuse, but it was a dark place in my life that I never want to go back to. 
Blowing out a shaky breath, I hit send before working out another message. 
Me: My apology is for not being better, for not getting here sooner, for not rescuing earlier or with greater strength; all I ask is that you forgive me for those transgressions. In those times I was doing the very best I could and loving you so very much all the time. I love you so much, Y/N. I’m hoping that with this, we’re starting clean. There’s been a lot of different phases of my life and I can’t be the best I can unless I make amends for everything wrong that happened between us. I love you.
As I waited for Y/N to reply, I sat on the counter in the bathroom and let my long legs dangle off, swinging with anticipation. I nearly dropped my phone when it buzzed in my hand. 
Angel 🪽: hi mochi. Well, first I’ll say thank you. Thank you for communicating with me and apologizing. With the weeks we’ve been apart since I’ve been working on myself too. I forgive you. I accepted that while it did hurt me, you made a mistake. I want us to let go of the negative emotions and painful parts of memories. 
For many years I had punished myself, feeling that if I forgave more fully then love would blossom; yet in truth, it had never been there at all. Things have changed. I want to be better too. 
Forgiveness brings the liberty to love again and to heal the heart, soul, and mind. Thank you again, mochi. I love you too. 
With a lighter heart full of so much love for Y/N, I hopped off the counter and nearly barreled through the door, clapping my hands loudly. 
“Alright, let's record this hit!” 
My heart was pounding as I stepped up to our makeshift booth, put on the headphones and shook out the nerves from my hands. Over time I learned how to shake the nerves from doing my vocal takes in front of others, and lose the embarrassment. 
With our first two records, I tried to emanate vocals from other artists because I wasn’t confident in myself as a vocalist. Now, I wanted Y/N and everyone else to see that this was me; this record was Noah Sebastian and Bad Omens. 
With Jolly and Matt's cue, I took a deep breath and started on the first verse. 
“I'm not afraid of the war you've come to wage against my sins. I'm not okay, but I can try my best to just pretend. So will you wait me out? Or will you drown me out? So will you wait me out or will you drown me out?” 
Y/N’s face flashed in my mind at that first meeting; our first day on tour when I stepped off of my bus. She looked absolutely breathtaking with her long blonde hair blowing with the gentle breeze. Her toned legs were accentuated by the boots she wore and the ink of her Greek Gods tattoo on full display. The way her lips parted as I stole the breath from her longs with our first of many stolen glances. 
I licked my lips, eyes fluttering shut as I let the first chorus rip through me with my cursive singing. “I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to. I can wait for years if I gotta. Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.”
I didn’t bother opening my eyes to see the other's reaction. I needed to stay in this place I found myself in; my soul screaming for Y/N’s. 
“I know the pain that you hide behind the smile on your face and not a day goes by where I don't think I feel the same. So will you wait me out? Or will you drown me out? So will you wait me out? Or will you drown me out?”
We sat on the beach together, all those months ago, and Y/N continued to try and hide herself from me. She wore the faintest of smiles as she blew out a shaky breath when I lifted her chin with a knuckle. 
"You shouldn't be with someone that drains your spirits. Drain the light from your soul, angel."
"It can't rain all the time."
“I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to. I could wait for years if I gotta. Heaven knows I ain't getting over you. We'll try again. When we're not so different. We will make amends. 'Til then I'll just pretend,” my hand rested on the windows of the booth, nails digging into the glass as I continued to pour myself into this. 
“Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning. Way down, would you say I'm worthy? Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning. Way down, would you say I'm worthy?”
Y/N didn’t want to leave, I could see that in the way her movements slowed once she was dressed, almost as if she was buying time for me to say something that would change her mind. But she refused to meet my gaze.
"Angel, look at me. What's the matter?" I asked again.
"Nothing-," she began with a sigh.
"Then why won't you stay?"
I tried not to think back to the negative aspects of our night together. I always tried to remember the way her skin tasted or felt against mine. But every once in a while her face as she was seconds away from walking away from me came crashing into me without warning. 
“I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to. I could wait for years if I gotta. Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.” 
Still buried deep inside of Y/N, I rolled our bodies so now she was straddling me. Her hands sprawled over the tattoos that covered my chest and she leaned down to lick across the snake and apple on my neck. The noises I made, and my moans were so soft as Y/N’s hot tongue went up and down my neck. She grazed over my Adam's apple with her teeth and bit down. I shook underneath her and wrapped an arm around her back to bring her closer, burying my aching cock, deeper inside of her.
We felt the rush, the aching, burning blush. We surrendered to the touch. Y/N gave me a show. This was heaven in hiding.
I sucked in a large breath, ready for the crescendo of the song, and let every fucking feeling I have for my angel come out through me in a surge of passion and energy. 
“We'll try again. When we're not so different. We will make amends. 'Til then I'll just pretend,” I nearly fell back into the booth as a lone tear fell from my eyes, quickly wiping it away. 
Rain poured around us with the onslaught of the storm as Y/N pointed a firm finger at me. “You always just pretend that everything is fine when it’s not! Then you stand there and have the right to say I’m the pain in the ass? Fuck you, Noah! I’m so tired of you pretending that you don’t have feelings for me.”
With the last few lines of the song left, I envisioned the one memory that I remembered every morning when I woke and every night before I fell asleep; the same thought was always there at the end of it. 
I am worthy. 
“Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning. Way down, would you say I'm worthy? Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning. Way down, would you say I'm worthy?”
“You what?” I urged while taking a step towards her. 
Y/N wildly shook her head as her makeup ran down her face, staining her cheeks and neck in mascara. 
“I-I can’t.” Y/N pressed her palm into her forehead. 
“Yes, you can,” I licked my lips in anticipation. “Fuck, Y/N! YOU WHAT?!”
“I’m in love with you! Okay?! I fucking love you! 
I tossed the headphones off of me to let out a deep breath and center myself once again, coming back to reality; not before one final memory flashed in my mind. 
“Well, that’s what we do. We fight. You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you’re being a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99 percent of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2-second rebound rate, then you’re back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing!”
By now, the rain was a torrential downpour, branches of the trees swaying widely in the wind as the sky cracked loudly with lightning and thunder; it shook both Y/N and I to our bones. 
“So what?” Y/N scoffed. “Why does it matter to you?”
“Because I fucking love you, angel!” I blurted out.
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NICK R
Holy shit. 
I looked over towards Jolly, who also had a shocked expression on his face. We all just watched Noah pour his soul into a song, one that would typically take more than one vocal take to get right, but he was so confident in this song that he didn't stop once. 
As soon as Noah stepped out of the booth, Salem trotted over to him and was swiftly picked up in his arms. “Did you like that, Salem? Do you think it was good enough?” 
Matt snorted. For the record label, my ass.” 
Noah’s eyes narrowed at him as he plopped down on the couch next to me. “I still feel like something is missing.” 
Almost immediately as he sat, he nearly stumbled off of the couch as he reached for his phone on the table in front of him. 
“It’s not ten o'clock yet,” Michael teased. 
Noah flipped him off. “No, asshole. I need something from Bryan. There’s something I want to use from the video of our day at the pier. I want to bury Y/N’s voice in the track.” 
I turned towards him when Salem decided to sit in my lap now. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Do you think she’ll notice?” 
“No. Because nobody is going to know what this record truly is or who it’s about. It’s not their business. I’ve got it all worked out in my head.” 
We could all see the bags under Noah’s eyes since he stayed up all night the previous night writing this song, making sure it was perfect. 
“You should also get some sleep. We can figure this out tomorrow,” Jolly suggested. 
Noah immediately shook his head. “No.” 
“Noah-,” Jesse started. 
“Let me fucking do this, guys. Please. I need this,” he almost begged, his voice quiet. 
Eventually, I nodded. “Alright. This is your song, man. If you want to do it, go for it.” 
He smiled while throwing his hair in a low bun and turned towards Matt, shaking his phone. “Bryan sent over the audio. Think you can mix it?” 
Matt held a hand to his chest and had a faux hurt expression. “Is my dear Noah doubting my mixing abilities?” 
As the two of them along with Jolly began working on mixing the audio to bury it in the track, I had my own agenda. Salem looked up at me with curious eyes as I began typing widely on my phone. 
“Your uncles better be cool with this idea because if not, I don’t know how else I’ll be able to pull it off,” I muttered to the cat. 
Me: This new song Noah just recorded is heavy. We need to plan something to finally get their asses in gear and stop the bullshit.
Chase: I’m down.
Malcolm: You don’t even have to ask me twice. What are we thinking?
While I worked out the plan with them, Michael spoke from his spot in the kitchen as he grabbed a round of drinks for all of us; non-alcoholic for Noah since he recently started his sober journey. 
“Does this masterpiece have a name?”  
Noah leaned back in his chair, hands resting behind his head, and smiled wide. “Just pretend.” 
I raised a brow. “Just pretend?” 
“Yeah,” he nodded, cuddling the blanket closer to his chest that he had wrapped around himself. 
“I love it,” Jolly admitted. “It’s perfect.” 
Noah smiled, bumping fists with him. “Thank you, I think so too.”
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NOAH
I stood in the middle of the large bedroom, mind running a mile a minute as I envisioned how the space would look. Jolly, Jesse, and Michael stood behind me as we all decided together that this place was perfect. It was our new home. 
“So, we’ve been thinking,” Jolly started as he walked around to face me. 
My brows furrowed. “Do you guys not like this house? I know it is a bit out of our price range but it’s worth it, I think. It has enough bedrooms for all of us and the two studios.” 
Jesse chuckled. “You’re rambling.” 
“Sorry,” I breathed while scratching my cheek. “I’m just nervous that this might be too good to be true. This place is perfect and if we don’t get it, I don't know how long it will be until the next one comes up; if it does.” 
“Stop thinking of all the negatives and for once, think of all the positives. Like how you get the master suite.” 
I snapped my head towards Michael. “What?” 
The three of them nodded and Jolly spoke again. “It’s only fair, Noah. The three of us don’t need this big of a bedroom and knowing that Y/N will be over a lot, it’s only fair the two of you get as much privacy as you can get.” 
“Also helps that this room is on the main floor while ours are upstairs,” Michael joked. 
I playfully pushed him. “Thank you guys. I love the optimism but we don’t even know if our offer was accepted.” 
We’d been back home for the last few days, finally finishing recording the new album, and while touring a couple more houses, we fell in love with the one we were currently standing in and immediately put in an offer. 
Enough bedrooms, a large window in the living room for Salem to lay in front of, a decent-sized backyard with a jacuzzi, and the art studio that was right next to the master suite. It had a large window that showcased the small creek that ran along the side of the house. And hardwood floors throughout the entire house.
Not to mention, the privacy of the neighborhood was a huge bonus. 
A soft knock sounded on the door of the empty master bedroom and we all turned toward Jackie who had a wide smile on her face. 
“Great news! The sellers accepted your offer. Now while we do have to wait for the bank to accept the sale, I want you guys to remain optimistic. Typically this kind of thing takes a while so I don’t want you to stress out.” 
Jolly gave me a sideway glance, one that I ignored. I was too fucking over the moon with excitement. Our offer was accepted and we were one step closer to finishing this part of our new phase. 
Three weeks later, we closed on the house and were moving in with hopeful hearts. The guys stayed true to their words and allowed me to take the master suite, which currently seemed bare with my desk and computer setup, and the long table on the opposite wall as it peered out to the window, the flowing creek the only thing Y/N would see whenever she sat there. I decided that a new bedroom called for a new bed; a bigger one. It would be delivered in a few days along with a few other things I ordered. I bothered Chase and Malcolm with ideas for days. 
Me: Do you guys think this table will be big enough? 
I sent a link to yet another vanity I found online. 
Chase: Noah, this is the 4th vanity table you’ve shown us. 
Me: And?
Malcolm, dude you have to relax. It’s perfect. Way better than the small suitcase she uses to hold every one of her products now. 
Me: well with me, she’ll never have to. 
Later on that day, I received another text from Chase. 
Chase: Noah, beware of paint all over the carpet.
I snorted as I typed out my response. 
Me: Already taken care of.
Chase: Good. Because even though I love her to the ends of the earth, paint is a fucking bitch to clean.
Me: Here’s the address. I would love it if you and Malcolm come check it out. 
Chase: Definitely. Let's plan for Friday?
Jesse and Michael gave me shit any chance they could get about obsessing over a vanity table. 
“Y/N does her own makeup. No one else does it for her so I need a spot for all of it.” I said while we browsed Ikea the other day. 
Michael tossed a new blanket into the cart I’d been pushing. “Damn, you really got it all figured out. I never thought I’d hear you ever say you need space for a vanity.” 
“That was before I ever cared. I just wanna make sure she has her own space. That’s all,” I defended while setting a cat tree into the cart. 
Jessed raised a brow, one I shrugged at. “Salem needs one for our place.” 
“I bet you cried your eyes out when you dropped it back off at Y/N’s place this morning.” 
Rolling my eyes, I ignored Micahel and continued down the long aisle of kitchen ware. 
“It’s going to all work out, Noah. This is a lot, especially when you’ve never done this before. I mean, we’ve been a fraternity for a long time if you think about it,” Jolly said. 
“Yeah, I know. But you guys know me, I’m in my head over the smallest things. This is a big deal. I don’t want to give her a reason to say no.” 
Jesse rubbed my shoulder. “She won't, Noah. It’s going to be awesome so don’t stress about this.” 
Letting out a deep breath, I set aside the screwdriver and paused building the new end table to run my palms over my white star shorts. I’ve talked to everyone in my life about this but neither of them gave me peace of mind the way I needed. 
Clearing my throat, I spoke out to the space in front of me. 
“Uh, hey Keaton,” I now rubbed the fresh tattoo on the sides of both of my hands, tracing each letter. “It’s been a while since we’ve had one of our talks but life has been a bit chaotic.” 
“We moved into a new house. Orie moved in with his girlfriend and we decided the rest of us needed a new place ourselves. A fresh start, if you will. A new phase for all of us.” 
I sniffled but kept the tears at bay. “Y/N and I are, well I don’t know what I would call us but we admitted our feelings for each other. We say I love you every night but the unknown of what we are still lingers and it fucking scares me to death not knowing if she’ll stay. I’m trying to do everything right to make sure she does. I can’t handle her walking out of my life again, Keaton.” 
Now running my hand through my hair, my bottom lip wavered. “I need a sign from you, man. I need to know that Y/N will stay. That all of this won’t be too much for her.” 
The eerie silence of the house was all I heard until seconds later, the Alexa device on my desk began playing a song; one I never expected but ended up smirking at. Memory Fiction by Erra echoed throughout my room and I shook my head with a laugh. 
“You would choose one of Jesse’s songs,” I wiped away a few stray tears. “Thanks, Keaton, I know we’ll talk soon.” 
I sat on the floor, letting Jesse’s words resonate deep within my bones. Y/N and I were reaching out towards the next phase of ourselves, autonomous from what connected us. 
When the song ended, the silence didn’t last long because there was a knock on my open bedroom door and when I hastily stood, I gave Chase and Malcolm a soft smile. 
“Hey, I’m glad you guys could make it,” I waved them inside. 
“Jesse just gave us the tour. It’s a nice place. I’m glad it worked out,” Chase said. 
I nodded. “Thanks. I wanted to make sure you guys gave me the okay. I don’t plan on rushing into things with Y/N. She can stay here as many nights as she wants. I just want to make sure she has a home here with her and Salem.” 
I motioned to the table. “Do you think this is big enough for all of her products? I want her to have space for it and all her skull nick-nacks and Valak Funko pop. She’d get that demon tattooed on her if she could”.
Chase agreed with a boisterous laugh. 
I pointed to another window that I placed another table in front of moments before they arrived; this one smaller than the vanity. 
“I thought that she could use this space for her plants. I know she’s obsessed with them. Honestly, she could turn our room into a fucking jungle for all I care. As long as she was here with me.” 
Malcolm had a hand over his heart. “Noah, this is great. Y/N loves you. You could have bought a studio apartment and she’d still make it a home.” 
I agreed with a slight curl of my lips. “Because she’d be there.” 
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NOAH
I blew out a nervous breath as I stepped through the front door, clutching the bag tightly in my hand and when three sets of eyes landed on me, I halted in place. I was unsure of how they would react to this since I didn’t tell them where I was going when I left a few hours ago. 
Jesse was the first to speak with an approving nod. “Well hello, my friend.” 
“Don’t start,” I pointed a finger at him. 
Jolly stopped as he carried the high stack of towels, ready to put them away in the linen closet upstairs when he took in the sight of me. “Woah, I didn’t think you’d go through with it.” 
I rubbed the back of my neck. “I got tired of not seeing my neck. It was still suffocating.” 
“It’s different seeing you like this,” Michael said as he lounged on our new couch. 
The couch I spent years yearning for and imagining what it would look like.
“You think Y/N will still find me attractive like this?” I asked while shifting on my feet. 
Jesse's eyes widened. “Are you dumb?” 
“No, I’m just a little worried she won’t find this appealing. I mean, I love it. But you know, I don’t want her to be repulsed.”
“Noah, stop thinking that,” Jolly spoke. “Stop worrying, you look sharp and fierce.  It's a great look. And last I heard she gave herself a little makeover too.”
My eyes snapped up from the floor towards him. “She did?” 
“Yeah,” he smiled before heading up the stairs. 
I couldn't stop the smirk that spread to my face. “Damn, maybe we can be all mysterious and unveil at the release party. She’s going, right?”
“Nick said he texted her about it weeks ago. Y/N will be there,” Jesse patted my shoulder for reassurance. 
Now in the solace of my bedroom, I stood in front of the full-length mirror that was in the walk-in closet and admired how I looked. St. Patrick by Hollow Souls played from the Alexa speaker and I nodded my head along to it, amping me up on how the final look came together. 
“And I’m not spiritual but please stay. ‘Cause I think you’re a saint and I think you’re an angel,” I sang along quietly. 
I took a step back from the mirror but something felt wrong; off. I was missing something.
Opening the small drawer in front of me, I rummaged through the small variety of jewelry, knowing that once Y/N had her own pieces in here it would become filled until I found the two pieces I was looking for. 
The silver chain and bracelet shined under the light overhead and I ran a finger over it, remembering the day I gave Y/N her matching set. 
She opened the box as a gasp left her lips, the silver necklace and matching bracelet shone under the light of the room. It wasn't anything over the top and there were no diamonds but that didn't matter to her. She wasn't one for over-the-top jewelry, this simple chain and bracelet were enough.
With wet eyes, Y/N gazed up at me as I nervously fiddled with my rosary. "Do you like it?"
She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me into her embrace, burying her face into his neck. "I love it, Noah. Thank you so much."
With the bracelet and necklace now clasped onto my body, my look was complete. My fingers worked through the curtain-style bangs. The long fringe was paired with a middle part, a 3-guard short side.
“The Levi Ackerman haircut. I wonder if anybody will catch the reference. I’m a nerd,” I chuckled at myself in the mirror
Earlier,  I left the Harley Davidson shop with a new outlook; the oil-slick leather gloves in the bag. I was excited for the new era of myself and Bad Omens. I was ready for the new phase for what it was, what I’ve conjured in my mind. 
The power of visual aesthetics to convey emotions and enhance the overall experience of the music. The glove serves as a physical extension of my artistic vision, adding an element of mystique and intrigue to this persona I've created. Allowing me to create a distinct identity and connect with the audience on a deeper level.
I stared at myself in the mirror taking it all in. Completely engulfed in the Yohji Yamamoto coat and cargo pants. I spritzed Sauvage, opening the turtleneck I was wearing for the liquid to drip down my chest. It was snug in some areas, but all the same showed off the physicality of my dedication, as of recent. 
I look good.
I reached into the coat pocket for my phone eager to show Y/N but stopped myself from taking the photo. 
No, leave it as a surprise.
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ferg0s · 5 months ago
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ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʀʀᴀɴɢᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ
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ᴅɪꜱᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀ, ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴀꜱ ɪɴꜱᴘɪʀᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ɪ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴀɢᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴀᴍᴇ ɴᴀᴍᴇ. ᴄᴏᴏʟ ᴘʟᴏᴛ, ɪꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀ ᴋɴᴇᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴇᴠᴇʟᴏᴘᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴇʀᴇ. ᴀɴʏᴡᴀʏꜱ.
ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ꜱʜɪɴᴛᴀʀᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ᴠᴇʀʏ ʀᴏᴄᴋʏ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴊ���ꜱᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ꜱᴇᴇᴍ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴏɴ ᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ, ʜᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴏꜱᴇꜱ ᴀɴ ᴀʀʀᴀɴɢᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴏʀ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪꜰᴇ.
ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ | ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴡᴏ |ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ | ᴘᴀʀᴛ ꜰᴏᴜʀ
quiet literally the worse time to be doing this because i start the first day of my new job tomorrow but here i am. Apologies in advance, im running off flavoured air and the wrath of god when we unleashed those 10 curses on egypt. pardon the grammer and spelling.
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you look at the shattered vase on the floor. it wasnt worth much, you had gotten it at some shitty garage sale a few years back. it looked cheap; between the obvious mass prodiced floral pattern and the chiped edges, it was a miracle a thing like that could coexist with the rest of the funiture in your house. Yet it did. Standing tall on the coffee table, like an oasis in the barron desert. The pink petals of the flower pattern, the tiny lines of green repersenting the stem - a contrast to the light grey furniture.
In all honesty it was fucking ugly.
"-AND I CANT EVEN COME BACK TO MY HOUSE-"
You slowly lifted your head.
oh yeah
"- THE BARE MINIMUM-"
The shouting pulled you away from the shattered vase, the reality of your situaiton coming back in. You could see the vein buldging out in Shintaros neck. His usually calm demanour - his dull eyes, perfect cheekbone, his thin lips - replaced by an expression that you had never seen before. You had seen him angry, you ahd fights, but what couple didn't? This was something new. Usually you would describe his eyes as forest green, the colour of the grass in a hidden meadow in the forest, but looking into his wide eyes, the colour green reminded you of the recycling bin in your driveway.
It was impossible to form a positive thought for him.
His hair was messy, ruffled from the milltionth time he ran his fingers through it - most likely in an attempt to fix his hair but his gesture has the opposite effect.
Everything he was doing was having the opposite effect. The screaming? It irritated you more than it sacred you. The argument? It made you calmer than you were previously before he came home. The vase? Well, the vase was a differnt story. You knew he didnt mean to hurt you in the way that he had with that. You knew him too well to give him enough credit for what he had done. He always hated that vase; since the moment it entered your house he would always try to place it in a spot where it was hidden. Tucked away in some corner as to not clash with the rest of the furniture.
Shintaro was a calculating man. He had to be. Weighing the risk-reward ratio of each step of his day. That's what made him good at his job, he knew his limits and when it was okay to push them; only doing so when he knew the risks associated with it were low. The vase? Sure it wasn't the closest thing for him to reach - he had to take a step or two forward to even be in the radius - but it was the cheapest. In a sea of trinkets that costed upwards of a months pay, the something dollar vase was nothing.
So obviously he would pick that.
"Fuck you,"
The words roll off your tongue before you can even process yourself conjuring the thought up. Why had you said that? Of all things, of all the clever insults, the petty jabs. You went with the bleakest one. The one that held no emotional value; and towards the person you - were suposed to - hold the more emotional value to.
Shintaro froze. As if a mask had slipped off, his face relaxed. His shoulders relaxing, eyes softening with a look of confusion.
That was all? Thats all he got after the shit show he had created. a measly grade school insult?
"I-" "Fuck you Shintaro,"
You look down at the shattered vase, its pieces dangerously close to your bare feet.
You could sense the anger rising up in him again, proably worse than before. What was he mad about that? Not having dinner? You had made his favourite- curry and rice. Was it not warm? It was still in the pot on low heat. Did you not serve it to him on a silver platter? He would always get his own meals. It was like he had been frantcially searching for a reason to be mad at you, or maybe had just made it up.
You turn around, head lifting as your body rotated away from him. You didn't even want to give him the respect to look him in the eyes, to see a sliver of pain.
"Im glad Kotas dead," you hiss out, your voice laced in every negative emotion that filled your body. "So he doesn't have to see how pathetic of a man you really are."
~
Staring at the blue text bubble on his phone screen, he reread the text as if he was missing some hidden message written between the lines. As if two words had the capability to convay something that they didn't repersent.
We're over.
His head hung low, looking at the screen between his hands. He knew this would be the outcome, though the imaged the text bubble with that message being grey rather than blue. But alas, the words had been said. He couldn't exactly say he was shocked. This was the outcome, the ending has been written in stoen before the story even began. Mei knew exactly the type of man he was, though not entirely, he figured she got a glimpse of a side of him that made her turn away. The side was sleeping with other women while with his wife, the side of him that would hook up in the parking lot after work before driving home to share a hot meal with his wife.
He, above all things, was a logical man. And this was a logical reaction. It was easier to be the home wrecker than the wrecked. But what if you were both? Do you lean more into one side or even the scales?
Putting his phone down, he made his way to the kitchen to get the broom and dust pan. He was a doctor, he knew the potential risks of having broken glass around. Besides the potenial cuts, the risk of infection or the glass getting lodged in far enough. Too great - in his head - to go to bed without cleaning it up.
He didn't know what to do anymore. It felt like anytime he could pull a conversation out of you is when you two were fighting. He hated it. He hated being angry, it was beneath him to show such neanderthalic behaviour. He hated how it was the only way he could get you to talk to him nowadays. He was a man of reason, often the voice of reason. And here he was, stooping down to the level of the drunken low-lives who would stumble in the ER. The addicts who would throw themselves on the ground, begging, pleading for a drop of morphine. Pathetic...
With the dust pan filled with the last prices of the shattered vase, he made his way to the kictchen garbage. As he put his foot on the pedle of the trash can, its lid lifting up and the dust pan tilting to drop the contents into it - his eyes caught on something. Lid still lifted, he looked at the small yellow dot on one of the pieces.
It was a bee.
A poorly drawn bee. Like it had been drawn ontop of the design.
His heart sank when he recoginised the shaky drawing. His mouth drying, his throat closing up. The scream he wanted to let out, lost somewhere in his throat.
He wondered if he had been a shirnk, would he have chosen differently. He himself had picked the object he thougth would have the least significance. But would that subjective sense of significance would be differnent if he had thought about it for more than a second?
Staring at the pianted bee, he wonderedi if he would have chosen such a reality if he had thought about it for more than a second.
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