#it's the first thing that came to mind when he described his rear end

[captainsparklefingers]

I can't believe that Brennan decided that Evan has Hank Hill butt.

[salem-witch-slut]

This Is What I Know Of Life

Kara Danvers X Masc! FemReader

SYNOPSIS: After saving Kara from a horrible date in a bar, you can't keep the blonde out of your mind no matter how hard you try. You just had to know her.

WORD COUNT: 9.4K

WARNINGS: Canon typical violence, lesbian reader, reader described as muscular with many tattoos, mentions of blood and medical procedures (stitches, needles, etc.), shameless flirting

Author's Note: So this was on my old blog and I just had to bring it back. It's exactly like it was before, so if you missed it, here it is! I will be adding more of my old fics back to this account, but let's start with my favorite!

DIVIDERS MADE BY @cafekitsune

This is what I know of life: Love fiercely, even recklessly; Laugh loudly, even raucously; Risk everything, at least once; Live openly, without abandon; Build trust, be honest;

Kara had no clue what she was thinking when she considered this.

Internet dating? It reminded her painfully of when she first came out as Supergirl. That was the worst date she had ever been on… until tonight. The blonde Kryptonian had chosen a black skirt this time, and an off-shoulder pastel blue blouse to try and accentuate the definition in her collarbones and shoulders, which Alex had suggested she show off more often.

Almost as soon as she met the man at the bar, she was uncomfortable. But it seemed that no matter what she had been able to say, he wasn’t backing down, moving away, or taking no for an answer. The bar was incredibly crowded and if she ended up using her powers on him, she would be seen and that would be a very, very difficult thing to talk her way out of.

Kara couldn’t look at her phone, or text Alex 911 to get the hell out of there. Kara felt stuck, and she was not a fan of this feeling. This guy was the worst, and he was getting far more intoxicated than she was comfortable with.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Kara asked, watching her date down another shot and watching him sway slightly against the bar counter.

The man chortled, which made her extra-terrestrial skin crawl. “Don’t you worry ‘bout me, baby.”

She wanted to throw up… And then, things got ten times worse.

Kara may have had superhuman abilities, and could fly at the speed of sound… But nothing could have prepared her for the feeling of the man’s grimy hand against her rear. The blonde tensed so hard that she almost lit the countertop on fire with her laser eyes.

Kara was about to snap. Exposure be damned, she was going to break this man’s fingers until he could never even hold a glass again. Her blood was boiling and she turned to look up at him and destroy him, but paused at seeing a hand tapping her “date” on the shoulder.

Kara watched him turn around and before he could even ask “What do you want?” A fist went directly across his face. Kara gaped, her eyes widening in shock as she saw someone knock the drunk flat on his ass. He stumbled from the bar counter and onto the ground as the someone stood over his body, shoulders squaring aggressively and brows pulled down.

What does she do about this?!

“Keep your filthy fucking hands off of her,” You snarled, grabbing at his collar and kneeling down low enough to seethe in his face. For a second, Kara was worried about the guy laying on his back, but then her eyes ended up drifting to the hand curled into his shirt… you were wearing rings on almost every single finger, and you had a tattoo of a moth on top of your hand.

You may have had more tattoos but your arms were hidden behind the button down black shirt that was rolled up to the middle of your forearms… Forearms that were massive and veined, clearly dripping with power. That hit must have hurt like hell.

Kara found herself blushing. Whether it was from embarrassment, or flattery, she didn’t know.

The man on the ground groaned, looking up at you with a dizzy expression and immediately started smirking, blood on his teeth. “Ain’t scared of you, dyke.”

The entirety of the bar let out a gasp as you hit the man again. There was no doubt his nose was broken, and Kara made a face of terror as you stood up, seeing your knuckles bruising and covered in the man’s blood. Most were his, but the first punch had left a cut on your finger from the guy’s teeth.

“Are you—” Kara watched you stand up straight, having to look up to meet your gaze. She pushed her glasses up on her nose and her brows pulled down in distress. “Who are you? Are you out of your mind?”

You reached out for a napkin on the bar and wiped the blood off your knuckles and cleaned the rings on your fingers. You didn’t respond to her initial questions, but instead, asked one of your own. She blushed all over again. “Are you alright, sweetheart?”

Kara gaped, giving a remarkable impression of a fish out of water. “I-I’m fine! I could have handled him; I can take care of myself!” The super went on the defensive immediately. She wasn’t about to let you put her into the persona of a weak, innocent girl that needed protecting. She had lived her entire life with other people taking care of her and she didn’t need random women at the bar taking pity on her and fighting her battles for her.

All you did was smile, which made her stomach twist uncomfortably. You looked so nice when you smiled like that. “I didn’t say you couldn’t.”

Kara watched as the bouncers of the bar were dragging the man out of the building, not even looking at you or acting against your demonstration of violence. “Then why did you just—”

“I’m not a fan of assholes who take advantage of pretty girls in crowded spaces where they can’t say no,” You cleared up immediately. “He wasn’t backing down and you had been uncomfortable since you got your first drink… I wanted to knock his ass out for a while.”

Kara tried to focus on the entirety of your words… not that you just called her pretty. “Were you watching us?”

You smirked, not meeting her eyes before you reached down to your hip and tapped the pistol holstered on your side. Kara suddenly felt uncomfortable. Why did you have a gun? Why were you allowed to carry a weapon in a club? Who were you?

“It’s my job to watch everyone that comes in, sweetheart.”

A shout of your name across the bar had you looking up and you saw the bartender approaching you with a first-aid kit. “Why didn’t you just restrain him and call the cops?”

You smirked, grabbing an alcohol wipe and rubbing it across the cut on your knuckle. “Needed a harder lesson, Rick… Did Tommy call the police?”

“Yeah, pulling up in five minutes. They’ll want a statement from you and her, you know,” Rick pointed at Kara who immediately went pale in the face.

“I’ll handle it. Thanks buddy,” You sighed, sitting down on the bar stool and wiping off your own blood and the blood of the asshole’s that’s currently bleeding all over his cheap blazer. Kara was beginning to understand what your role here was and she sat down on the bar stool next to yours. The slice on your knuckle just kept bleeding and you tore open a gauze patch with your teeth.

“Here,” Kara immediately grabbed your hand, much to your surprise. Almost immediately, her cheeks were tinting pink as she placed the gauze over the cut and began to wrap it up. Your hands were so warm that it was making her shiver. “Are you alright?”

“You don’t need to worry about me, sweetheart,” You smiled, and Kara rolled her eyes.

“My name is Kara, not sweetheart,” She corrected as she released your hand, making you chuckle and lean against the bar’s counter with a smile that she couldn’t not respond to with her own smile. You called the bartender back over and looked at Kara one more time before saying what to get her.

“Get miss Kara here anything she wants to drink, and close out her tab,” You gently reached out and Kara almost flinched away before you slid your uninjured hand through the blonde hair framing her face and pushed it over her bare shoulder. She shivered at your touch. “Anything you want, its on the house. Just don’t get too drunk, alright?”

Before Kara could protest, you stood up from your seat and walked back into the crowd. Kara watched you walk away, biting her lip and then looking back at the bartender who was simply waiting for whatever she wanted. Kara couldn’t keep her thoughts away as her brain teased “Are you sure that the thing you want didn’t just walk away?”

It was 3 AM by the time Kara was leaving the building. Everyone else had gone and she was one of the last patrons to exit. What made her linger for so long when she had no reason to stick around? Well, she was waiting for you…

The police had already come and taken your statement, but they never talked to her. When you said that you’d take care of it, you must have taken care of everything because her “date” had been arrested and you actually waved when they drove off with him in the car.

She wanted to talk to you again, but you were busy and she didn’t want to distract you… Three other people had been escorted out of the building that night by you, but none of them had gotten hit like her date had. You were polite with everyone else, even with them being belligerent… It didn’t make sense to Kara. She needed to know what was happening in that head of yours.

You were taking the walkie off your hip and passing it to the other bouncer as you removed the pistol from your hip and ejected the magazine. Kara watched you check to see if it was still loaded before you clicked on the safety and handed the gun and holster over to your coworker.

When you turned away, you came to a stop at seeing Kara standing there at the door, looking at you with a nervous expression on her face.

“Hey,” You approached her, rubbing the back of your neck and smiling. “Didn’t know you were still here. Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” Kara reassured you, a smile growing on her face and showing off her pretty white teeth. “I was just uhm… Do you want to take a walk with me? I live about 8 blocks away, and you can just…”

“Walk you home?” You smiled and held out your hand for her to go forward first. “Lead the way, miss Kara.”

The two of you fell into a comfortable silent walk, enjoying the warm night air of National City. Kara held her jacket in front of her while keeping her steps slow to have them sync with yours. She took a nervous glance over at you and saw that you were smiling, both hands tucked into the pockets of your trousers that just looked so incredible on you.

“Why did you hit him?” The question seemed to catch you off-guard. When you looked up, Kara clarified, adjusting her glasses. “I saw you throw others out… You didn’t hit those guys. Why’d you hit that guy?”

 You took a long moment to consider why exactly you hit him. Kara was getting worried, like you didn’t really know what made you snap and attack a patron in such an unprovoked way. The way your fingers rubbed at the skin on your cheek and how your stride seemed to slow to almost a stop. Kara frowned, waiting patiently for your answer.

“He didn’t deserve to be near you,” You stated coldly. “Saw him four nights in a row with four other girls… Each time, he wouldn’t keep his hands to himself. I guess seeing him do it to you really pissed me off.”

“But you don’t even know me,” Kara said.

You sighed. “I don’t. But pretty girls like you have always been one of my weaknesses. I guess I got a bit protective—I don’t know,” The confession felt like vinegar on your tongue and Kara came to a full stop in her walk as she stared up at your face. “I’m sorry, miss Kara. I was in the wrong. I took matters into my own hands instead of doing the right thing.”

The silence was no longer comfortable around you two. It was tense and Kara felt almost uncomfortable… Not because she was upset with you or scared of you. But because she seemed to almost like how you defended and fought for her at the bar. She had friends that would defend her, and her sister would always be by her side… But no one had displayed this level of protectiveness over her before.

You looked down at her and cautiously stepped forward. When Kara didn’t step back, you decided that she wasn’t going to pull away and you reached down, tracing your fingertips across her forehead and brushing her blonde hair away from her face. Kara blushed, watching as you tucked the blonde locks behind her ear around her glasses.

Kara reached up and held your hand against her face, leaning into your palm and basking in the cool of your soft touch. You stroked your thumb across her cheekbone and smiled, pulling your hand back and leaving the blonde to pout a little at the lack of contact.

“We should get you home, sweetheart. It’s getting late.”

Why did the idea of leaving you make her so sad?

The chaos that flooded the top floor of CatCo was very familiar to Kara. Only this time it had nothing to do with Supergirl, and everything to do with the bar last night. She saw on the dozens of TV screens her date being hauled out of the building covered in his own blood.

“Kara, wasn’t that…” The sound of Winn’s voice didn’t surprise her, but she still stepped to the side trying to avoid his questions. “That was the guy you—”

“The guy I went out with, yes, I’m aware,” Kara sighed, pushing her glasses on her nose and trying to relax her emotions. She chose to listen to the broadcast, but normally she’d tune it out to ignore the words that the news said.

“-Richard Hendrics was apprehended outside of a nightclub just off of 45th Street, guised under a fake name ‘Ivan Neward.’ Authorities have Hendrics in custody after the club’s security guard took down the perpetrator; we have her words from the scene last night.”

Kara felt her face heat up when the screen changed, and your interview pulled up.

“I’ve seen this guy five times this week. He shows up, brings another girl, and gets drunk. We do what we can to protect everybody that walks through those doors, but things are chaos during these nights. We need everybody to be vigilant, and if you see someone being uncomfortable and they look as if they are in danger, you have to speak up. Protect each other.”

Your voice carried throughout all of the office room and Kara felt her heart pound inside of her chest. You cared so much for others, and it was so sweet to see your concern for everybody—for her.

“Was there a woman here tonight that you protected? Where is she now?”

The camera attempted to pan over to the club and try to find Kara inside before you grabbed the camera and yanked it away. “She is not part of this interview. That is all I will say on this, no more questions!”

Chaos erupted as you began walking away. Kara bit her lip, watching you walk away. You looked so good going back inside of the building and away from the scene outside. Winn looked over and saw just how bad Kara was blushing at seeing you on the screens and bit down on her bottom lip… She used to look at James like that. What was she thinking?

“You got that weird little smitten face,” Winn said, nudging Kara with his hip. “Who is she?”

“Who?” Kara looked up. “Oh! Uhm, sh-she’s just a… some girl from the bar. She kind of p-protected me from that guy and uhm… It-it’s a long story.”

Kara just brushed it off, trying to ignore the feeling of shivers going over her spine as the interview freeze framed on you looking like you were about to knock the reporter’s lights out. Evidence of blood on your fist was a dead giveaway that you were the one that beat up Hendrics.

“Was she the one that—”

“Kicked his butt? Yeah.”

Kara immediately turned away from the screens and sat down at her desk for a grand total of five seconds before she heard Cat calling her name… or, not exactly her name.

“KYRA!” The Kryptonian huffed before she stood from her chair and aggressively walked into Cat’s office.

“Ms. Grant?”

“You see this woman?” Cat stood in front of the TV screens. Your image was plastered on every single one of them. Kara felt her stomach twist. “She is… inspiring. She is an everyday hero and inspired thousands of women to speak up and defend each other. The internet is exploding with confessions of dates that have gone wrong, and countless sex offenders have been arrested in all but twelve hours.”

Kara was speechless, but in Cat’s presence, that happens very often. The woman was a legend, and she was calling you inspiring. “I want that woman.”

“You—you want her?”

Cat turned around slowly, staring at Kara like she was an idiot. “I need an exclusive with that woman. She’s the height of the media; the face on every news station. As violent as she may be, she is someone that deserves to be heard.”

“Oh, you want to interview her—” Kara took a deeper breath, like she couldn’t believe that the idea of Cat Grant wanting you carnally even crossed her mind.

“Kyra, I could not have been clearer. My days of experimentation are over after drinking all night with Madonna,” Kara blinked a few times, trying to comprehend what she just kind of haphazardly admitted. Cat Grant had experimented with women—no, she experimented with Madonna! What the actual—

“Get me that woman. I want an interview today! Go, now!”

Kara nearly stumbled out of the room to escape from Cat’s hungry gaze. It made her uncomfortable for a whole new reason; one she didn’t truthfully like. There was one thing she had on her focus now, and she wasn’t sure that she was up to the task.

Winn ran up next to Kara’s desk as she went into her phone and scrolled through the contacts inside of it like her life depended on it. “What did she say? What are you doing?”

“Cat wants an interview,” Kara clicked on one of her contacts and stood up, slowly stepping in a circle and waiting.

“Interview with…”

“Hi! Hello, hi, I don’t know if you remember me. We met last night at the club? Kara Danvers?”

A soft chuckle sounded on the other end and Kara shivered at your voice. “How could I forget? What can I do for you, miss Kara?”

Two hours went by. Two full hours of Kara sitting at her desk like one wrong move would make the building explode. Every few seconds she would look at the door and wait for you to come out of the elevator, but she couldn’t hear or see you… You were unlike Cat when she was in her elevator. She always talked to herself. You were silent.

But there was one thing she did hear… a very, very fast heartbeat. It was definitely yours. She recognized it from the night before. Oh, you were nervous?

The elevator doors dinged, and you stepped off and rounded the corner. When she saw you, her heart almost exploded, and the sound of crunching could be heard across the room. Kara looked down and saw her computer mouse in pieces.

You were wearing a custom-made suit in Kara’s favorite color. The navy blue accentuated your skin tone flawlessly and you had your hair styled in a way that could make the straightest girls falter in their steps. Silver rings decorated your fingers, and a silver chain was wrapped around your neck in a light choker. You looked… holy Rao, you looked incredible.

“Hey, uhm…” You stopped at one of the desks nearby and looked down. “I’m looking for Kara Danvers?”

The blonde stood from her desk and walked a little too fast over to you, almost tripping to get to you along the way. “Hi! I’m so glad you could make it,” Kara looked you up and down, from your coat down to your dress shoes. “Wow, you look amazing!”

You blushed, a hand running through your hair. “Well, if you think I look good, you look amazing. Lavender is definitely your color, really brings out the blue in your eyes.”

Her entire face went red, and she had to look away for a second just to calm her heart down. For a second, she thought she was going to fly away and had to force her feet to stay on the ground. Why is it when you said things like that, it made her stomach twist?

“Kyra,” The Kryptonian heard Cat’s voice and turned around hard enough to whip you in the face with her ponytail. You made a face of disgust and peeled a piece of blonde hair from your glossed lips. “Do not crowd our star… Cat Grant, it is so nice to meet you.”

The smile that radiated from your face was enough to make Cat blush. “Oh, it’s an honor to meet you, Ms. Grant. I love the work you’ve done with Supergirl! Every time I read one of your stories, I’m starstruck with her all over again.”

Kara gaped for a split second. You liked Supergirl? Wait, your heart rate was rising again and she could hear all of the blood rushing to your face and down… You had a crush on Supergirl!?

“Understandably, all men and women adore her both as a hero and as an attractive woman,” Cat shrugged like it was obvious, stepping towards her office and beckoning for you to follow. You did, without hesitation, waving at Kara and stepping into the office where the interview of a lifetime would be taking place. Not for you, but for Kara specifically.

Almost immediately she sat down and began to listen to you with her super hearing.

“What happened last night? Well… there was a girl. She was being harassed at the bar by her date and I guess I had enough of seeing him take advantage of women to last me a lifetime. I reacted on instinct and protected the girl.”

“Cameras saw blood on your hands,” Cat said, looking down at the recorder on her desk. “Did you hit him?”

You hesitated for a second. Kara almost expected you to deny it.

“I did,” You said. “It was more instinct than thought, Ms. Grant. Fear of that girl being hurt set in, and I went on the offensive. I’ve seen the men who have my job do much worse, and they carry guns just like me.”

“But we are women,” Cat stated. “We are expected to keep calm in the face of terror and hold it together no matter how scary the world is. Speak up, but don’t be a bitch. Defend yourself, but don’t be aggressive. Protect each other, but don’t travel in groups.”

“I’ve never really been like other women,” You said without letting her fully finish. “I’m sure you can see that, Ms. Grant?”

Kara heard Cat hum, and she knew she was looking at you all over like she wanted to eat you alive. “Yes, your aesthetic is very butch, it’s not that hard to see how very non-heterosexual you are.”

A very odd silence carried within the walls of the office before you cleared your throat. “You have something you want to ask me, Ms. Grant.”

“Who was the girl you protected?”

Kara tensed up, and she felt for a second that you might actually tell her that she was there, and she wouldn’t be able to stop you even if she wanted to. But just like last night, you surprised her. “I don’t know her name, Ms. Grant. If you only wanted me to come in here to find out who I was fighting for, I’m going to have to disappoint you.”

Kara let out a breath of relief, dropping her shoulders and relaxing in her seat. She finally stopped listening to the conversation going on in the other room and about seven minutes later, you stepped outside of the interview and removed your phone from your pocket.

“How did it go?” Kara pounced on you. “Did you mention me? Did you say anything about what happened?”

Before Kara knew what was happening, you grabbed her by the arm gently and led her out onto the terrace to avoid prying eyes and unworthy ears. The Kryptonian looked so confused and somewhat shocked by your actions. “Was it that bad?”

“No, it was fine,” You defended. “I kept my promise and didn’t involve you in it.”

“Yeah, uhm… why are you doing that exactly?” Kara adjusted her glasses for almost the thirteenth time that day. You noticed she fussed with them when she was nervous or overwhelmed in some way. “I mean, I have no reason to hide or anything. I can take the heat from the interviews and things, and I mean, it was me that he tried to—”

“I know you can handle yourself, miss Kara. That isn’t what I’m afraid of,” You leaned back on the bar of the balcony and Kara watched the veins in your hands flex. “I’m afraid of the media treating you like some victim, which you wish to not be. The second I tell everybody that it was you he was after, you become the front of sympathy tabloids. I guess… I am trying to protect you, but in a different way.”

Kara took a few moments to truly process what you said and looked deep into your eyes. So deep that she almost x-rayed you. Her fingers flexed against the bar she was holding, and a soft, tense breath escaped her chest.

“Well, I can… take care of myself?” Kara stumbled on her words, and you simply chuckled. Before she could stop you, once again, you were reaching out.

“I see that,” You slowly ran your fingers under a stray lock of blonde hair and slowly tucked it behind her ear, your strong hands lingering against her skin and gently stroking your fingertips across her cheekbone and down to her jaw. Kara felt as if you stole her breath away. “And you… have the prettiest smile I have ever seen.”

“I…” Kara was beginning to shake, almost like she was vibrating in place. You smelled so nice, and you felt so cool against her warm Kryptonian skin. And in five seconds flat, Kara was gone out of your sight with a simple “I have to go!”

All you could do was frown at her running away, looking down at your hand and wishing her warmth was back against your calloused skin. You sighed and leaned back against the rail, rubbing at your face and attempting not to smear your eyeliner. “Sweet moments never last, I guess…”

You headed back inside and noticed that Kara was nowhere to be found. With a deep, disappointed sigh, you began walking towards the elevator with your hands tucked into your trouser pockets. Wherever the blonde went, she was doing a damn good job at avoiding you.

You texted her, making sure that you didn’t overstep in any way.

“I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable, sweetheart. It was never my intention. I hope you have a good rest of your day.”

Kara was staring at her phone screen for almost a full day. Every spare second that she had, she looked at the text you sent her, and her stomach began flipping all over again. She was so engrossed with how she would respond that even Alex was noticing. Her sister saw that she was simply staring at the screen, not typing or responding… she didn’t recognize your name.

“You plan on responding?” Alex teased, pausing the movie in front of them. Kara flinched, almost dropping her phone and looking over at her sister like she was just caught watching an R-Rated love scene. “Who is that?”

“N-No one! She’s nobody— n-not anybody,” Kara attempted to tuck away her cellphone, but Alex was faster, grabbing the device and reading what was on screen. “Wait, Alex, come on!”

“ ‘I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable, sweetheart.’? Who is calling you that?” Alex teased, looking at her sister and smirking as the blonde sighed and dropped her face into Alex’s leg.

“She’s just… the security guard from the bar the other night,” Kara admitted, her face burning the deepest shade of pink. For a second, Kara remembered how good you smelled and how chilled your skin was against her face, and it sent a very vicious shiver down her spine.

Alex noticed. “How’d you get the security guard’s phone number?”

“It’s a long story—”

“Well then start from the beginning?”

And so, Kara did. Kara told Alex everything that happened, not sparing a single detail and not leaving anything up in the air for guessing. She needed Alex to know every single detail and every single emotion that was passing through her in that moment.

“I don’t understand Alex,” Kara sighed, looking down at her hands. “It’s like I can’t think when I’m near her… Like my heart is about to leap from my chest and my hands feel like they’re vibrating! It was like that first time I was Supergirl… when I first saved the plane? That… adrenaline, that feeling of—”

“You like her.”

Kara had to stop her words, staring at her sister like she had just told her the biggest secret in the world. Her entire body started vibrating and Alex put her hands on Kara’s shoulders so the Kryptonian didn’t accidentally fly away. “I like her? What are you—”

“You acted just like this with every single crush you’ve had before, Kara,” Alex reassured. “And it’s okay… You are allowed to like this girl. She sounds great; I’d love to meet her someday.”

The blonde was silent for a good long while before she looked down at her phone and nearly threw it out of the window when she saw that you were calling her. The phone slammed on the coffee table and Kara jumped up, hiding from the device like it was a bomb about to explode.

“OhmyRao! Oh no, she’s calling— Alex, what do I do!?”

Alex rolled her eyes before she answered the phone, much to Kara’s horror. “Hello?”

You were so tense that the sound of another voice didn’t register. No, all you wanted was to talk to Kara and explain yourself so you couldn’t drive her away or scare her off.

“Kara! Hi,” You didn’t expect her to answer. “I uhm… Sorry for calling you so late and unexpected, I just… I don’t know, I need to explain myself? I’m sorry about today, and I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable this afternoon. I don’t know what came over me.”

Alex smirked as she held her foot out, pressing it into Kara’s chest. Kara could stop her if she wanted to, but a part of her wanted to hear you out on this. Without interrupting you.

When Kara didn’t respond, you feared that she may have hung up on you. But against your better judgment, you started talking again. “I feel like I got the wrong impression from you. So, this may sound absolutely insane but… If you are willing, I would like to have dinner with you? Tomorrow night?”

The silence was almost deafening. Kara looked at Alex and the blonde seemed like she was about to throw up or pass out, maybe even both. Alex grinned from ear to ear and decided to respond for her, much to Kara’s complete and utter torture. “Tomorrow night sounds amazing.”

Kara could hear you sigh a breath of relief, almost like you had been holding it waiting for her answer. “Oh great! Great, uh… I will text you all of the details then? 7:30?”

“7:30, I will be there,” Alex chuckled and looked at Kara who looked like she was about to start screaming. “Goodnight… Sweetheart.”

When Alex hung up, Kara immediately dropped down behind the couch and curled into the fetal position like she wanted to do nothing but vanish into the floor and scream until her breath ran out. The DEO agent started cackling and tossed the phone over to Kara, laughing even harder when the device smacked her in the head.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”

You had spent the entire day pacing in your loft, looking at all of the clothes inside your closet and trying so hard to decide on something to wear like your life was on the line. All you wanted to do was impress this girl and show her the best time of her entire life. Kara was unlike anyone you’ve known… and you wanted to know even more.

Deciding to keep things semi-formal, you chose a black long-sleeved turtleneck with a delicate silver chain and gray trench coat. The black boots completed the look, and you tried very hard to not overthink things as you stepped out of your apartment, only to stop and gently pet your orange tabby cat on the head. “Stay put, Tigger. Love you.”

You triple-checked the address on your phone, standing outside of the restaurant that you and Kara picked out together. Asian was your idea and Kara leaped at the opportunity. You tried not to fumble with the box inside your jacket pocket, biting down on your lip and doing your best to calm your beating heart.

It had been years since your last date… work had always got in the way, and you tended to scare off a lot of “candidates”. Your hands were shaking, and you wanted to kick at the wall but then you’d look semi-psychotic.

Of course, your train of thought was completely derailed when you looked up in time to see the most beautiful thing you’ve seen in your entire life…

Kara Danvers, wearing a lavender dress with a white cardigan overtop, the skirt reaching just above her knees, matched with white heels. Her hair was held back with a ribbon braided into her blonde locks, complete with those turtle shell glasses that you thought were so cute on her that it made your heart flutter.

How did you get this lucky to be out with her?

“Hi!” You chirped, stomach tightening as you looked at the most gorgeous female that’s been in your vision. “Uh… wow, you look beautiful, Kara.”

“Thank you,” Kara blushed, looking down at her heels for a brief moment and biting her lip. “And you look… I don’t even have the words for it!”

Now it was your turn to blush, heart fluttering as you gently twist your fingers together. Kara noticed the bandages on your knuckle, but it seemed underplayed by all of the rings on your fingers. This was the first time in a long time that Kara had been on a date, and she actually had hopes for this one. All of the other ones? They were a huge letdown.

Kara was now keeping score in her head. What she didn’t expect was for you to open the door for her. Wow… one point for you!

“Ladies first,” You held out your hand for her and she could tell that you were more charming and polite than any man she has been out with in her entire life.

The hostess led you both to the table in the very quiet restaurant that had live music playing softly nearby. The dining area was dimly lit, and the only light was from a very soft glow of the light above the table. Kara was about to approach her seat when you jumped forward and pulled the chair out for her, smiling and gently pushing it in once she was sat down.

“Well, you certainly know how to make a girl feel special,” Kara chuckled, sitting down and removing the cloth napkin from the plate and laying it over her lap.

You stripped off your jacket and draped it over the back of your chair, sitting down across from her and folding your hands overtop the table in front of her. “I find it hard to believe that you are treated any less when you go on dates.”

Kara chuckled, shrugging her shoulders. “Yeah… the dates I’ve been on? Not exactly anything to write home about.”

You make a face of complete horror, doing a remarkable impression of a fish out of water. Kara simply took a sip of water to try and break the tension, but you weren’t breaking eye contact. Maybe you wanted her to explain?

“Okay, most of the guys I’ve been with? They are too focused on their phones… and they ditch me after twenty minutes at most,” Kara sighed, adjusting her glasses. “Maybe I’m just not that interesting?”

You sat back a little, rubbing a hand across your jaw and sighing deep in your chest.

“Kara Danvers,” You reached out for her hand, and she blushed at how cold it was. “You have not been treated like the lady you have deserved… it will be an honor to show you a time that you won’t ever forget.”

A single moment passed as Kara smiled and leaned forward, almost challenging you. “I’m keeping score.”

Challenge accepted.

The night was absolutely perfect. Kara had literally never felt more heard in her entire life. At one point during the evening, Kara heard your phone chirp, and you removed it from your pocket. Kara was about to deduct a point for that, but you immediately turned it off and put it face down on the table, apologizing for the interruption.

Surprise was all over her face as you simply cut off all communications with everybody just to listen to her silly story about something that happened at CatCo. And you were hanging on literally every single word she uttered and every syllable that tumbled from her lips.

You had ordered a beautiful bottle of wine to go with the food she ordered, which consisted of pork potstickers, crab fried rice, and a beautiful plate of scorpion roll sushi. You didn’t even bat an eye as you listened to every single word she said and when she would ask you questions, you were happy to answer with honesty.

“-After the army, I was just feeling a bit lost,” You admitted, pausing to take a sip of the wine and leaning back in your chair. Kara leaned forward, almost like she wasn’t close enough to hear you. But in reality, it was so quiet that it was easy to feel like you two were the only ones in the entire universe. “I bounced around from place to place, looking for a job where I felt like I was making a difference. And don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with working retail… but the night life called to me? The club reached out to me, and it was easy for me to be security.”

“Ex-military,” Kara smiled. “No wonder you’re so strong…”

“Well, I do work out every day,” You shrugged like it was no big deal, but in reality, you were flexing and trying to impress her. Kara giggled at seeing you put your hands behind your head and leaned back in her chair herself, allowing a moment for her dinner to settle.

The moment was comfortable as the music played inside of your own little world you two created together. “This is actually really nice…”

You smiled. “I promised a night to remember,” You glanced up at the musicians and then at Kara. “Would you like to dance with me?”

“Here?” Kara giggled, eyes wrinkling with humor as you stood up from your seat and held out your hand. “In the middle of the restaurant?”

All you did was keep your hand out for her and Kara thought about it for a few seconds before deciding screw it and placed her hand into yours. The cold of your rings bit into her warm skin as you lifted her from the seat and placed a gentle hand on her waist. When Kara’s hand met your shoulder, you two began swaying gently back and forth to the soft music inside of the restaurant… It really felt like it was just the two of you in the entire universe.

Kara felt so warm against you… So gentle and so sweet, almost like she was an angel in your presence. You couldn’t help it. Very slowly, you leaned your head down and rested your cheek against the top of her blonde hair, breathing her in like this was going to be the last time you ever got to feel her against you.

Kara bit down on her lip and pressed her face into your chest, feeling the soft swell of your breasts against her face and realizing that she didn’t hate the feeling… In fact, you felt comfortable and cool and all of the things that she loved in the world. But the best part? From here, she couldn’t just hear your heartbeat… she could feel it.

“Your heart is racing,” She whispered against you. Almost comically, your hands began trembling as you slid one through her soft blonde hair and twisted it in between your fingers.

Kara could feel it. You were terrified. “I… Don’t want to mess this up,” You pulled back slowly and looked down to gaze into those beautiful blue eyes. “How’s my score?”

The Kryptonian smiled, her eyes twinkling. “One final test for you?”

“Name it,” You begged.

Kara smiled, hypnotizing you with those pretty glossed lips of hers. “I would rather show you.”

The blonde slid one hand up to the back of your neck and then you felt those warm fingers through your hair. Oh, she was so beautiful, and she felt so perfect in your arms, and you wanted nothing more than to kiss her… but you weren’t going to move until she did. Kara needed to do this first.

She inched closer and closer, and you could feel her breath against your face. It was almost chilled… You waited patiently, hoping she would continue—

The entire restaurant trembled around you both and on instinct, you grabbed at Kara’s waist, preventing her from falling over. The pounding in your chest went haywire as you looked out of the window and saw the street was literally on fire! “What the hell—”

Patrons in the restaurant went crazy and began to run for the exits. But in doing so, you couldn’t have held onto her even if you tried. “Kara? Kara!” You called out her name, fear rising at the idea of losing her within the crowd of terror as patrons shoved you outside and into the streets that were blazing alive.

Standing on the street now, you could only look on in abstract horror as a blue-skinned, horned face alien was breathing literal fire and setting the streets ablaze. You took the smallest step backward and realized that was your mistake. The alien sent a very powerful blast in your direction, and you went from your feet to the air.

The blast lifted you from the ground and your entire body slammed into the windshield of a truck, glass shattering all around you and slicing your sweater and into your skin. You would no doubt need stitches now.

The impact didn’t knock you out, but it made you slightly dizzy as you crawled off the remains of the truck and stumbled against the concrete, bracing yourself against the hood and rubbing at your forehead. “Fuck…” You only had one thing on your mind… “Kara, where are you?”

Another blast was about to hit, and you had no time to brace for impact. The alien seemed to hate you for some reason because he kept targeting where you were standing. You slowly stepped back and your body pressed into the steel of the truck, waiting for the next hit. You crouched down and attempted to shield yourself… but it never arrived.

You looked up and let out a surprised gasp at seeing the red cape in front of you, and beautiful blonde hair that flowed down in waves down her back. It was unmistakable who it was. “S-Supergirl!”

The hero turned to look at you, smiling a little but the grin dropped as soon as she saw the blood seeping into your clothing. “You’re hurt—”

“I’m okay,” You said, trying not to look weak in front of the Kryptonian. Your heart pounded in your chest as you began to look around even more frantically, desperate to find your date in the sea of terrified residents of National City. “Where is she? God, please—”

“Kara Danvers sent me,” Supergirl placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. Your eyes widened in surprise at her statement. Kara sent her? “She’s in a safe place… I hear you are ex-military. Can you help me clear these streets?”

Supergirl was asking for your help? Suddenly the wounds in your skin seemed so minor as you stood up and paid attention to the superhero that began to rise from the ground and look as regal as inhumanly possible. She really was incredible… “You can count on me, Supergirl.”

“Ms. Danvers speaks highly of you,” Supergirl said and bolted away.

You immediately jumped into action and began to direct people away from the threat of the alien terrorizing the city. You helped them down into the subway stations to avoid the dangers of the fire and the battle between whatever that creature was and Supergirl herself. But the more you moved and the faster your heart raced, the more your wounds began catching up with you.

Blood was dripping from your sweater and onto the stone steps of the subway. Sweat dripped from your forehead and you nearly stumbled down the stairs and onto the concrete below you.

“Hey, hey,” The new voice resonated in front of you and all you could do was look up and see a woman with short brown hair and a soft look, almost like she knew you. She was dressed in all black and had a gun on her hip. “Eyes on me? Are you okay?”

When you didn’t respond, could only blink slowly, the woman was getting concerned with your state of health. You very faintly heard her say “Can you hear me?” but then you could only reach for the railing before falling to the concrete stairs.

The horrible sensation of needles pressing into your skin woke you up from the deep unconscious state you were in. It reminded you of the tattoo on your upper back and you just couldn’t stop yourself from hissing in pain and flinching at the stab.

“Ow,” You twitched, opening your eyes and immediately wanting to close them with how bright the lights were. But something was off… This did not smell like some hospital? Isn’t that usually where someone ends up when they hit the windshield of a truck?

“Try not to move,” A voice said from above you. It was the woman from the alley… for some reason, now her voice was recognizable but not when she was impersonating Kara on the phone. The pain of the needle resonated in your back again and you grabbed the table with both hands to force your body to sit completely still.

“Where am I? What is this?”

“Can’t tell you that,” She said. “Just know that it’s somewhere safe. What do you remember?”

“Uh… I remember an ugly-ass alien setting the streets on fire? And then I hit a truck and I was looking for—” The needle in her hands went directly into your shoulder as you jumped upward and almost fell off the table. A tube was in your arm, and you saw a slow stream of blood flooding into your veins. “Kara! Fuck, where’s Kara? Where is she?”

“Hey, hey!” The woman from the subway jumped up and held out her hands that were gloved but covered in your blood. You were frantic, looking around the room like a terrified bird in a cage too small for it to be considered humane. “Hey, you need to calm down. You lost a lot of blood and—”

“I’m not—” You ripped the tube from your arm and the blood splattered to the floor as you began to run at the glass, not fully realizing you were in just your black skin-tight boxers, sports bra, and dog tags hanging from a chain around your neck. Everything else had been torn and drenched in your blood. “No, I… I gotta get out of here, I need to find Kara! Kara Danvers! We… we went out together tonight! I have to go- I need to know that she’s okay!”

“Okay, okay! Calm down, please, relax…” The woman grabbed your forearms and you breathed hard enough to start hyperventilating. Very slowly, she led you back over to the bench and removed the needle from your shoulder. “Look… my name is Alex Danvers. Kara is my sister, okay? And I can promise you that she is fine.”

Your brain skipped like a needle on a record, blanking out for a few painful seconds and trying to make sense of it all. What are the odds that Kara’s sister is the one stitching you up right now in some secret medlab? “A-Alex, like the… special agent Alex that she talked about?”

The woman smirked a little. “Yeah… and you’re the ex-military nightclub guard that she can’t shut up about?”

You simply rolled your eyes and tried to stay upright. Blood loss was definitely getting to you again and you placed both hands on the gurney underneath you. “C-Can’t shut up about me? It’s only been a day.”

Alex was quiet after that as she continued your stitches, meticulously closing you up and removing a piece of glass from your skin in the process. You were so engrossed in the procedure that the soft swishing of the door was almost missed. “How is she?”

You looked up and your cheeks turned a deep pink. It was Supergirl… and she was standing there like the typical hero she was, hands crossed over her chest and looking at you with the most intense blue eyes you’ve ever seen… well, the second most intense blue eyes you’ve seen. Thoughts of Kara surfaced, and you felt nervous all over again.

“All things considered, she’s doing okay,” Alex said, placing a gauze patch over your final stitches and removing her gloves. You sighed and leaned back to sit up straight, rolling your shoulders and attempting to relax. “Just try to calm down and relax, you’ve been through a lot today.”

You nodded and attempted to not look embarrassed at being almost half naked in front of National City’s hero, heart thumping at high speed and your fingers twitching like absolute crazy. “Agent Danvers… I know that this will sound dumb, but can I talk with Supergirl? Alone?”

“That’s not a possib—”

“It’s okay, Alex,” Supergirl held out a hand, attempting to calm the agent. You blushed and began to chew on your thumbnail waiting for Alex to leave the room and stand on the other side of the door. When it slid closed behind her, but she stayed within sight of the glass room, you met Supergirl’s eyes who moved both fists to her hips in the classic hero pose. “What’s wrong?”

“You know, it's funny- I keep playing the… the way we met in my head?” You stood up from the bench and rubbed the back of your neck to try and relax your sore muscles. “And there’s just one thing that doesn’t really make sense.”

“You were in danger, I saved you,” Supergirl stated in a nonchalant way. But she looked slightly twitchy.

“Not that,” You approached Supergirl, noticing that you were slightly over her in height… Just like her. “You said Kara mentioned I was ex-military… I didn’t see her texting during dinner, and she didn’t have any time to tell you about that before the attack.”

“What are you—” You gave the Kryptonian a look and tilted your head.

“You look just like her… Even without the glasses, your eyes are the same. And you…” You reached out and the hero didn’t know better, and you were able to touch her skin before she stepped away. “Are just as warm as she is.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I know that it’s you, Kara,” You stated, much to the woman’s shock. “You vanish and then Supergirl shows up? Supergirl tells me something that only you found out ten minutes before? Your sister shows up at the most convenient time to save my ass from bleeding out on the stairs?” You stepped forward, and the super stepped back, spine hitting the wall behind her. “You can’t fool me…”

“You are… just delusional from the blood loss. I’m not Kara Danvers, I don’t—”

Your hand reached out and pressed against Supergirl’s cheek, stopping her words in their tracks as you breathed slowly and stepped infinitely closer. She was so warm and so beautiful, and you knew it was her, but she was so in denial. You knew it was to keep herself safe, but you just couldn’t help yourself.

“If you aren’t my sweet Kara,” You sighed, watching Supergirl’s bottom lip tremble. “Then that means I can’t kiss you…”

Supergirl breathed. “Th-That’s right…”

“But if you are,” You leaned closer, heart racing in your chest. “I still have one point to gain for the best date ever.”

A moment of silence passed between both of you, and Supergirl breathed hard against your face. You felt her cold air again, and now knew it was from her ice-breath. “Final test…”

In seconds, you dipped down and captured her lips in the most intense kiss of your entire life. Supergirl—Kara wrapped both arms around your neck and held you close, her strength now showing from her Kryptonian powers as you placed both hands on her waist and pulled her as close as humanly possible.

The moment was so intense and full of heat between you two that the noise you made when Kara jumped up, wrapping both legs around your hips made you stumble backward and hit the steel wall behind you. A hiss of pain left your lips as you felt your torn skin strain on the stitches. “Fuck, fuck, shit, wait…”

Kara jumped off of you, gasping and realizing that her strength was too much for you. She stepped backward and you turned around, glancing at your back and trying to see if you had accidentally burst any of the stitches. “Okay… okay, I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

The hero looked at you and you could see tears brimming in her eyes as she reached forward and gently placed both hands against your cheeks. “I’m so sorry… I’m so, so sorry I left you! I wasn’t fast enough, and you got hurt and you—”

“Hey, hey, hey no, none of that!” You said, grabbing Kara’s hands and gently rubbing your thumbs across the veins in her hands. Kara whimpered, tears tracking her face. “No, you saved me Kara… You did everything you could and from where I’m standing, you saved everybody, not just me… I would’ve been dead had you not shown up.”

Kara giggled, sniffling through tears. “Heh… guess I owed you from the other night, huh?”

“Yeah… Guess you did,” You brushed her blonde hair away from her face and kissed the space between her eyes, right over the small crease in her brow line. “People are gonna get hurt, Kara… I’m not immortal. I know how dangerous this world is. But I’m strong. I went through war and still came back. I can take a few stitches. Don’t you worry about me.”

“I will always worry about you—”

“And I’ll respect that. But only if I can worry about you… I must protect what is mine.”

“Y-Yours?” Kara blushed from the tips of her ears down to her neck. “Wh-What are you?”

“Be mine, Kara Danvers… Supergirl, I’m asking you to be my girlfriend.”

Your answer was another desperate, fiery kiss. And for a moment, both of you felt like you were flying… But when the kiss broke, you saw that Kara had accidentally lifted you both off the ground. 

[theelderhazelnut]

Rise of The Villains: The Advocate

Warnings: mentions of death

Words count: 1.5k

Pairing(s): None

Characters: Quan Chi, Raiden, Sonya Blade, Johnny Cage, Cassie Cage

Summary: Quan Chi is back from the dead, but his punishment is far from over. The Special Forces have captured him to use for their own purposes.

Author’s Note: Here it is! This series is best described as an AU of Rise Of The Villains (An au of an au lol). This takes place somewhere between MKX and MK11, and is not canon compliant. ALSO, writing from his pov is the medicine I didn’t know I needed.

Writing Taglist: @cassietrn @raresvtm @cloudofbutterflies92 @mids-stupid-shit @thedragonholder @tommyarashikage @malicedragoness @afraidofrabbits @ash-shark @darialovesstuff @bloody-arty-myths @vivilovespink @starneko123 @inafieldofdaisies @chaosrealm @voidika @aceghosts @euryalex @elderglocks @averytiredbitch @strangefable

Returning from the dead wasn’t really a good idea; at least not when it was about me. The silence among the corpses and, as they say, damned souls was where I felt most comfortable in.

Death was never an issue for me. I knew the rules of this board game. I knew which pawns to move and exactly which houses to move them to. And I would always stand up with a proud smile, and shake hands with death with pure confidence.

But this time was different. This time, the game was new. I didn’t know the rules. This time, Raiden slammed my fist down onto the table.

The path to the main headquarters was more crowded than I would usually prefer. Living eons in the Netherrealm had forged my mind to fit well with that incomparable isolation among jagged cliffs and eroded souls, so now it was doomed to endure the endless, lively chatter of humans everywhere. Every single one of them minded their own particular business. They blended together; out of my control.

I leaned my temple against the car’s window while my handcuffed hands subconsciously stroked the fabric of my uniform pants, silently getting accustomed to them.

“No longer allowed to open portals to your destination?” The Special Forces agent asked, his raspy voice was nearly unreadable.

My chest clenched. “But, still, I will survive a car accident.”

His green eyes lingered on me through the rear view mirror. My lips slowly stretched into a smirk. That was the fear I knew with my flesh and blood. At least something from home accompanied me this morning.

After about half an hour, a dark vast border of a fortified wall emerged from the horizon. I shifted to the middle seat to take a better look through the front window. As far as the eye could see, the wall stood persistently, stoically protecting what was behind. As we drove closer, I noticed that it wasn’t actually a wall. It consisted of angular observation decks, and tiny dots of light leaked through the concrete.

The winding road lead us towards an enormous gate. And soon, we were among armored vehicles and hurried soldiers. I got out of the van. The cold wind whipped my face. Immediately, the trigger of another round of headache came forward.

“This new face is in the biggest spotlight today! I’m envious.” Jonathan Cage nearly shouted, grinning from ear to ear while he wheeled a wheelchair.

“As you should.” I replied. The last thing I needed was him rubbing his hatred for me all over me with an unnatural cheerful tone.

“You even ordered first-class?” He whistled, and tapped the back of the chair. I sat down, and immediately, two soldiers tied my wrists, chestand ankles to the chair.

Mr. Cage wheeled me on a wheelchair through the hallways which were mostly constructed by metal, I presumed. The pale fluorescent lights leaking through the stiff folds of the ceiling and the floor were bright enough to bring any creature back to their senses immediately.

As we reached the very end of one of the many hallways, a metal gate slid open, and we entered a much darker room. It took my eyes a whole several minutes to adjust to the abrupt change of lighting.

“Here he is!” Mr. Cage announced.

Raiden’s white robe quickly caught my attention once he stepped into the dim light. His straw hat shadowed half of his face, per usual. The source of all of my miseries was a few meters away from me, but I was forced to sit on a wheelchair and just watch.

“After eons, you will make considerable use for the realms.” He began firmly. “Even though you are meamt to suffer the consequences of the long list of your crimes.”

“What makes you so certain of that?” The words came out without my knowledge. I let out a sigh and shrugged. “You couldn’t possibly think of a more easier punishment?”

“You are in the Special Forces’ grasp, Quan Chi.” Raiden raised his voice slightly as he repeated his words.

“And as your punishment, you will be working as a secret agent.” A female voice continued. General Sonya Blade stepped forward into the light, shoulders square and hands behind her back.

I would never predict this moment in million years. I held a hysterical laugh behind a sudden burst of a smirk. “You truly are so desperate, lord Raiden. Have you finally succeeded to kill your champions one after another?”

His nostrils flared, his lips creasing in a pout. “In fact, I have always been anticipating this moment to have your cooperation. And it has finally arrived, but not in a situation you certainly desired.” He spoke nonchalantly.

“And if I refused?”

“Your soul will forever be banished to the in-between.”

The blood in my veins froze. Raiden had never made such an existential threat to me, so now this was a sign of a gigantic dog on a leash, ready to be released.

“And how this current moment differs from being banished? Granted with the chance to live among humans is supposed to be…nurturing? Rewarding?” Fortunately, my voice remained tamed and neutral.

General blade dodged my teasing question firmly. “After a medical checkup, you will receive a set of essential gears. And you are also obligated to pass the shooting, and driving training.”

+++

The walk through the hallways wasn’t strange at all, having all eyes on me and all the necks craned up to take a look at the necromancer was quite a familiar sight.

In the inventory, a female voice parroted Mr. Cage’s words.

“They’re being too kind to you, baldy.” Cassie Cage stood up from her seat, sauntering to the circular table at the center. “Guns? That’s too much for you.”

“I am already too much for you soldiers.” I pronounced the last word slightly more emphasized, as though it was a rude insult.

“Talk after you survived a gunfight.”

I rolled my eyes and neared the table. My gaze roamed around the various weapons - which were mostly guns - arranged neatly under the intense fluorescent light. I had to squint a little.

“Have you ever touched a gun before?” She probably had guessed the answer, yet she seemed annoyed by the obligation to ask it aloud.

“After eons of studying, there still remains many fields I haven’t even peeped into.” I picked up a black pistol. “Do I have freedom in my choice?”

Ms. Cage shrugged. “You gotta learn how to handle all of these sooner or later. Most of them at least.” She crossed her arms. “Pick a pistol and a rifle for now. And let’s just get over with this training crap.”

+++

The training session was more of an issue than I had thought. That was the moment I learned aiming with a pistol is considerably more difficult than shooting a large green skull from your bare hands.

One more cylindrical obstacle hitting my shin was enough for my rage to flare. I tripped over and fell onto my elbows. My fist clenched around the pistol. It was all its fault, distracting me from numerous moving obstacles. My chest vibrated from the low growl that escaped my throat.

I turned onto my side, and opened my palms. The heat of rage coursed through my arms, morphing into several shooting skulls. The massive twirling cylinder staggered backwards, the background now visible through the burnt hole in it. The long shafts attached to it went flying in the air. A few of them struck the monkey bars. Targets on the wall collapsed, slamming against the floor with a thunderous clash.

Commander Cage slurped her drink. “Wow.”

I took a deep breath before sitting up on my knees.

“Where’ja wanna get the money from?” She vaguely gestured to the mess before her. “Come on, you’ll perform better on the streets. Like a dog chasing cars.”

“At least I don’t have a golden leash given by my mother.” I forced a smirk on my bitter expression. My chest heaved with my heavy breaths.

She shot me a glare before leaving the training room.

I stood on my feet, and adjusted my uniform. A part of me admitted that she was right; I was now going to chase cars and people like a dog. But since when did they collected the courage to spit facts in my face?

I gripped the fabric of my pants and stared at nothing on the floor. I was only one step away from tangibly tasting this new life. Everything was going smoothly around me and against me. Instead of wrapping it all around my finger, I could just sit there and have a young soldier order me here and there.

I stood up and walked up to the metal gate. At least I could show them why they made a wrong move by making me their secret agent.

[squishy-lombax]

Went feral and drew this all in one sitting. Here is a full reference sheet with my refined drawings of my personal Ampersand head-canons (From the book Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis).

I'm not the type of person to highlight or make notes in my books. So trying to remember every detail of how the author described Ampersand's appearance was difficult. Especially since this book isn't wide-spread enough to have the characteristics listed anywhere online from what I could find.

What I remembered and how my brain interpreted it:

A face like a mask, large enough for a hand to spread on. Since I had "gray aliens" in my head when this was brought up, a triangle shape came to my mind.

Large amber/orange eyes with multiple red pupils like "stars". When closed, the eyes have a membrane like film that slides over top. I envisioned it to be slightly transparent based on that description.

Frills like feathers on the head that spread out into a flower-like appearance. Since he was described as robotic, I went with something that looked akin to blades or scales but still inspired by birds and placed in a crown.

Openings on the side of the neck that admitted sound (while reading, I envisioned them as flaps, almost skin like, that vibrated). Since the sounds were described as dolphin or whale-like, I felt this could be the one thing on the body more "organic" and not rigid.

The body itself is said to have the posture like a dinosaur or velociraptor with a rough exoskeleton shell. My feet were also inspired by this dinosaur/bird theme since the amygdala are described as plantigrades, and Cora described his footprints as "bird-like".

The arms are described as always being in a "mantis pose" or, as I like to call it, the "autism t-rex pose." The length of these arms changed in my mind a lot, but in the end, considering how much they use their arms, I went with long instead of short like a t-rex.

The hands were directly inspired by @deanu's drawing here. I loved their design, because it kept in mind the "spider" aspects the hands are described to have, without them being literal scissor fingers like I see in a lot of other fanart. Since that is not how I envisioned them while reading but wasn't exactly sure how I felt before seeing @deanu's fanart.

The fact this raptor body didn't have a tail was jarring for me to envision upon first reading, but a shell casing on his back that ever so slightly curved past the rear quickly formed in my mind. This made him feel less naked in my head and I don't know why.

Edit: I have no concept for how tall 8ft but this is the generally the height i envisioned.

I hope you enjoyed my ramblings and my head-canons <3

[nick--knack]

A while ago I said I was going to make a post about my favourite tank and, well, here it is. A post about none other than the Burstyn-Motorgeschütz.

Having been invented in Austria-Hungary during 1911, the Motorgeschütz was ahead of it's time. it's draft design was more advanced than some tanks seen during world war 1, and one could argue that it was the very first tank to ever exist...

Backstory

The idea for the Motorgeschütz first came around when a man named Gunther Burstyn was invited by his cousin to go on a torpedo boat trip during his service in 1903. Burstyn was impressed by the boats speed, power, and armour, and this led him to the idea of creating a 'land torpedo boat' powered by a gasoline engine. He figured that such a vehicle would need to be able to travel off-road and over trenches if it were to be used in battle.

Later on he attended an engineering school where he visited an Automotive Exhibition in Vienna in 1906. There he saw the Austro-Daimler Panzerautomobil which was essentially just an armoured car. Burstyn saw the potential in the vehicle, but he saw the wheels as a big limitation because wheels made it easier for one to get stuck in mud and harder to drive over ditches and trenches.

Once he finished his engineering school and got promoted, he stayed in Trento between 1906 to 1908 where he discovered 'plate chains' used on heavy guns to reduce ground pressure. This gave him the idea 'hmm, what if we wrapped this stuff around several wheels at a time to even out the weight of the vehicle?'

Finally, with all these things in mind Burstyn set out to draw up the first blueprints of the motorgeschütz in 1911 and eagerly send them off to the Austro-Hungarian war ministry with high hopes that his invention will catch their interest.

The Design

Now when it comes to the design of the Motorgeschütz, it's quite hard to describe because of how vague it's blueprints were. Hell, you could even say that it's unknown which side was the front of it since it was never explicitly stated where the driver sat.

The only parts of the blueprints that weren't too vague were the arms of the Motorgeschütz. The arms at the back were operated by the crew member at the rear, and the arms at the front were operated by the crew member in the turret.

While arms would've indeed make it easier to get over obstacles and drive over trenches as shown, it also came with some complications of its own. Arms lifting the vehicle would cause it to shift it's weight risking the possibility of losing traction and getting suck in muddy terrain.

Results and Conclusion

The Austro-Hungarian war ministry turned Burstyn's idea down 3 months after he had submitted it, stating that they didn't see enough potential in it to be worth the investment. Not only that, but they also pointed out that the blueprints for the vehicle were far too vague. They stated that if Burstyn wanted his motorgeschütz to be made, he would be the one to pay for it which obviously he couldn't.

Burstyn wouldn't give up that easily, though, because right after this he approached the German war ministry to file a patent... only to be turned down again. A couple last-resort attempts that involved going to the press to have news articles written about his invention were made but alas, it failed to draw in support.

Austria-Hungary ended up going to war without a single armoured vehicle in 1914, and without a single tank overall for the rest of the war. Had the motorgeschütz been built, it certainly would've given the country more of an advantage in WW1 but it's hard to say if it would have enough of an impact to change the outcome entirely.

Now why is this tank my favourite tank? Because I think it looks funny :))) that's all.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed my ramble.

[meowlenkov]

Short Introduction to Rear Admiral Karel Doorman! (In het Engels en Nederlands)

Prefacing this by mentioning who he is,

Karel Doorman is a Dutch Rear Admiral, later acknowledged as an Admiral. He was one of the most competent Admirals of the Dutch Naval forces, hence why he was selected to lead the battle of Java Sea.

Karel Doorman was een Nederlandse schout-bij-nacht, later erkend als admiraal. Hij was een van de meest bekwame admiraals van de Nederlandse marine, en daarom werd hij uitgekozen om de Slag in de Javazee te leiden.

Despite his significant role, Doorman remains a lesser-known figure from the Second World War, but he holds a very special place in my heart. There isn’t much written about him, so I’ve done my best to gather what I could. Hopefully, this helps anyone looking to learn more about him! :3

Ondanks zijn belangrijke rol blijft Doorman een minder bekende figuur uit de Tweede Wereldoorlog, maar hij heeft een heel speciaal plekje in mijn hart. Er is niet heel veel over hem geschreven, dus ik heb mijn best gedaan om te verzamelen wat ik kon vinden. Hopelijk helpt dit iedereen die meer over hem wil leren! :3

Doorman was born in 1889 in Utrecht and grew up as a Roman Catholic in a military family. He dedicated 32 years to the Navy and even made history as one of the Dutch Navy’s first flying instructors! From 1917 to 1921, he served as an instructor at Soesterberg Air Base and later at the Naval Air Base De Kooy in Den Helder.

Doorman werd geboren in 1889 in Utrecht en groeide op als rooms-katholiek in een militaire familie. Hij heeft 32 jaar van zijn leven aan de marine gewijd en maakte zelfs geschiedenis als een van de eerste vlieginstructeurs van de Nederlandse marine! Van 1917 tot 1921 diende hij als instructeur op Vliegbasis Soesterberg en later op de Marineluchtvaartbasis De Kooy in Den Helder.

He had four children—three with his first wife, whom he divorced shortly after their third child’s birth (I know…), and one with his second wife, whom he married in 1934, the same year as his divorce. Shady? Maybe a little.

Hij had vier kinderen—drie met zijn eerste vrouw, van wie hij kort na de geboorte van hun derde kind scheidde (ik weet het…), en één met zijn tweede vrouw, met wie hij in 1934 trouwde, hetzelfde jaar als zijn scheiding. Verdacht? Misschien een beetje.

In 1922, for his exceptional work organizing the young Marine Luchtvaartdienst, Doorman received a royal distinction as a Knight in the Order of Orange-Nassau. He was, however, forced to step back from active flying after a skating trip in early 1919 ended with a nasty fall through the ice, leaving him with a permanent arm injury. Combined with looming cuts in the Naval Aviation Service, this marked the end of his career in the skies.

In 1922 ontving Doorman, voor zijn uitzonderlijke werk bij het organiseren van de jonge Marine Luchtvaartdienst, een koninklijke onderscheiding als Ridder in de Orde van Oranje-Nassau. Hij werd echter gedwongen om zich terug te trekken uit actief vliegen na een schaatsreis in het vroege 1919, die eindigde met een lelijke val door het ijs, waardoor hij een blijvende armblessure opliep. Samen met de dreigende bezuinigingen op de Marine Luchtvaartdienst, betekende dit het einde van zijn carrière in de lucht.

He struggled with tropical dysentery which occasionally caused him much inconvenience and was known for being a “very special and very difficult man,” according to historian F.C. van Oosten. Not just challenging to others, but also to himself. He was described as “air-minded,” which might sound like a backhanded compliment, but in context, it just means he was sharp when it came to aerial reconnaissance. 

When people talk about his “failures” regarding the campaign, people fail to account for several things / Wanneer mensen het hebben over zijn “mislukkingen” met betrekking tot de campagne, vergeten ze verschillende zaken in aanmerking te nemen:

1. The Netherlands was excluded from the United States-led conference addressing Pacific issues and determining future actions. To quote a direct excerpt from The Battle of the Java Sea by Oosten, F. C. van, ‘This conference, to which the Netherlands were not invited, was concluded on March 27th with the so-called ABC-1 Staff Agreement. Under discussion came the problems in the Pacific, and Great Britain and the United States reached an agreement over the strategic principles which would apply in the Far East should war break out with Japan. The Atlantic Ocean and Europe would be considered the main theatres of war, while in the Far East a defensive strategy would be followed. In other words the American forces in that area would not be considerably strengthened. The Pacific Fleet on the other hand would be allowed to pursue an offensive strategy. The slogan for this policy was ‘Help beat Hitler first’.

1. Nederland werd uitgesloten van de door de Verenigde Staten geleide conferentie die zich bezighield met de vraagstukken in de Stille Oceaan en de toekomstige acties. Om een direct citaat uit The Battle of the Java Sea van F. C. van Oosten te gebruiken: ‘Deze conferentie, waartoe Nederland niet was uitgenodigd, werd op 27 maart afgesloten met de zogenaamde ABC-1 Staff Agreement. Gedurende de bespreking kwamen de problemen in de Stille Oceaan aan bod, en Groot-Brittannië en de Verenigde Staten kwamen tot een overeenkomst over de strategische principes die van toepassing zouden zijn in het Verre Oosten, mocht de oorlog met Japan uitbreken. De Atlantische Oceaan en Europa zouden de belangrijkste oorlogsgebieden worden, terwijl in het Verre Oosten een defensieve strategie gevolgd zou worden. Met andere woorden, de Amerikaanse strijdkrachten in dat gebied zouden niet aanzienlijk versterkt worden. De Stille Oceaanvloot daarentegen zou een offensieve strategie mogen voeren. Het motto voor dit beleid was ‘Help Hitler eerst verslaan’.

2. He had an extremely limited time frame to prepare for the battle of Java Sea / Hij had een extreem beperkte tijd om zich voor te bereiden op de Slag in de Javazee 

Mid-February 1942: Japanese forces began their advance towards Java. By this time, Doorman and the Allied naval command knew that a decisive naval engagement was inevitable / Midden februari 1942: De Japanse troepen begonnen hun opmars richting Java. Tegen deze tijd wisten Doorman en het geallieerde marinecommando dat een beslissende zeeslag onvermijdelijk was.

February 25, 1942: Japanese naval movements became clearer, and Doorman started mobilizing his mixed Allied fleet of Dutch, British, American, and Australian ships / 25 februari 1942: De Japanse maritieme bewegingen werden duidelijker, en Doorman begon zijn gemengde geallieerde vloot van Nederlandse, Britse, Amerikaanse en Australische schepen te mobiliseren.

February 26, 1942: Doorman conducted preliminary reconnaissance and skirmished with the Japanese fleet / 26 februari 1942: Doorman voerde een voorlopige verkenning uit en raakte in een schermutseling met de Japanse vloot.

February 27, 1942: The main battle commenced / 27 februari 1942: De hoofdbattle begon 

Based on this timeline, Doorman had approximately 2–3 days of direct, immediate preparation after confirming the Japanese threat. However, his overall strategic preparations may have begun earlier in mid-February, giving him around 10–12 days of broader planning, though these efforts were hampered by limited resources, inadequate intelligence, and communication challenges among the multinational Allied forces.

Op basis van deze tijdlijn had Doorman ongeveer 2–3 dagen voor directe, onmiddellijke voorbereiding nadat de Japanse dreiging was bevestigd. Zijn algemene strategische voorbereidingen kunnen echter al eerder in midden februari zijn begonnen, wat hem ongeveer 10–12 dagen van bredere planning gaf, hoewel deze inspanningen werden belemmerd door beperkte middelen, inadequate inlichtingen en communicatie-uitdagingen tussen de multinationale geallieerde krachten.

Funny enough, he did express reservations regarding this campaign. Doorman reported to Helfrich that he estimated the chances of an Allied victory to be very small. He literally said: "Do we still have a chance? I believe very little. Wouldn't it be better to leave in time and help the Allies outside Java?" Helfrich countered that it was already decided in advance that the Allies would fight in the Java Sea.

Grappig genoeg uitte hij wel twijfels over deze campagne. Doorman rapporteerde aan Helfrich dat hij de kansen op een geallieerde overwinning als zeer klein inschatte. Hij zei letterlijk: "Hebben we nog een kans? Ik geloof er heel weinig in. Zou het niet beter zijn om op tijd te vertrekken en de geallieerden buiten Java te helpen?" Helfrich reageerde dat het al van tevoren was besloten dat de geallieerden in de Javazee zouden vechten.

Some facts about Doorman’s Experience during the moments leading up to the battle of Java Sea and the battle itself / Een aantal feiten over Doorman's ervaringen tijdens de momenten voorafgaand aan de Slag in de Javazee en de slag zelf

For several nights Doorman cruised with his force off the north coast of Java and Madura to prevent any unexpected landings of Japanese troops / Gedurende meerdere nachten voer Doorman met zijn vloot voor de noordkust van Java en Madura om onverwachte landingen van Japanse troepen te voorkomen.

Part of the Doorman’s crew in De Ruyter was saved, but Doorman chose to go down with the ship, per old naval tradition / Een deel van de bemanning van Doorman in de De Ruyter werd gered, maar Doorman koos ervoor om met het schip ten onder te gaan, volgens de oude maritieme traditie.

He was posthumously recognized with a commendation emphasized his exemplary leadership, noting that Doorman: '…set an inspiring example to the crew… by ordering them to abandon the sinking ship with the wounded, but to remain on board himself, whereby he went down with the ship'. 

Hij werd postuum geprezen met een onderscheiding die zijn voorbeeldige leiderschap benadrukte, waarbij werd opgemerkt dat Doorman: '…een inspirerend voorbeeld gaf aan de bemanning… door hen te bevelen het zinkende schip te verlaten met de gewonden, maar zelf aan boord te blijven, waardoor hij met het schip ten onder ging'.

Ok now a photodump

[sofiadragon]

Va'Pak; Uzhau Chapter 13

It's here because AO3 is down. The musical reference this time is Frozen. We've been in Jim's head a while, but Spock isn't doing as well as he seems.

The Next Right Thing

The festival of the first of May came faster than Spock expected. Mother had been excited about the event since reading about it in the Kirk Library and confirming with Jim that the tradition was well kept in the style described. It would be the first time Spock observed Jim doing anything religious, at least to his knowledge. Jim kept the fairy house that guarded the well in good order, but only the children had ever caught him at the task of cleaning and restocking it. There didn’t seem to be a set time for him to do so. It was, to Spock’s eyes, an elaborate bird feeder. Complete with a small, sculpted fireplace with glass flames that matched the style of the one in the real house and a working light in the dining room that glowed for an hour after sunset, it was a rough approximation of the farmhouse they lived in. The top floor accommodated larger birds with a small ‘bed’ full of shining seeds while other treats were in and around the furniture in the kitchen, likely for smaller birds who could fit easily around the miniature furnishings. A dish of water dominated the middle floor, surrounded by detailed paintings of what the second-floor bath and the west end of the nursery must have looked like once upon a time. The attic space was the most curious part. Buttons, shiny bits of rock or glass, and other odd things were placed in the small space, and either Jim changed them often or they were being taken by something.

T’Pau had theories about the symbolism and was just as curious about the buttons and things in the attic. Spock saw her reading books about fairies and gnomes in the early mornings before Jim was awake, and carefully examining the gardens that defined the back yard from the fields beyond as if checking for evidence of these creatures. There was a small stone gnome just inside the latticework of the rear porch, and he was unsure if she had spotted it yet since her attention was usually taken by the larger beds of flowers and vegetables and not the neat bushes on either side of the rear porch. Spock had no context for any of it. He’d decided he wouldn’t read those books for some time, so he could discover things for himself. It wasn’t like he had anything else to do with himself other than set up puzzles to solve. The festival promised to be a fourth break in the monotony of his existence on the farm since he was placed on bereavement leave.

The first had been Sybok’s appearance, which the local authorities handled as Sybok assaulting an old woman and Spock stepping up to prevent further violence in a legal way according to local custom. Sybok was reportedly serving a two-month sentence of community service on the East coast of the continent where a Betazoid could oversee strict orders not to use his telepathy on anyone without informed consent. While Spock was not held legally responsible for his actions under human laws, his shameful display of emotion including a blatant vocal demonstration of L'tak Torai wasn’t something he could ignore. Sarek was not pleased, mostly with Sybok for causing it but also with Spock’s loss of control. He hadn’t voiced the jumbled mess that sometimes came to mind instead of proper speech in decades, always able to reorder the words before speaking his mind or to simply remain silent until he could better order his thoughts. He spent many hours meditating with T’Pau in the days following, regaining his center and working through his shame. She had not scolded him, saying only that he punished himself well enough for his actions that she need not say anything more. When he was again at peace, she praised him for regaining his control and he resumed his usual habits.

The second break in the monotony had been the bonding ceremony that brought Rivan and T’Hir formally into their family as T’Pau’s children, followed the next day by their adoption of T’Nira. T’Nira had finally understood that neither Spock nor Jim was in any way ready to parent a teenaged girl and accepted that her skills and interests would make her an excellent apprentice and daughter to the pair. T’Pau said she had planned it that way from the beginning, but the choice to accept her situation had to be T’Nira’s for her own sake.

The third was the arrival of two Vulcan science ships from their last missions on Stardate 105 and 110, coming into orbit laden with additional passengers from several outposts and starbases. The latter half of the Terran month of April was quite busy with T’Pau performing bonding ceremonies almost daily, mostly between adults who were formally adopting the children of their cousins. Spock and Amanda worked together coordinating with the various groups making the pilgrimage to the farm whenever they weren’t busy helping the rest of the family host their guests and provide accommodations, and Sarek worked to get the official databases listing all the remaining Vulcans and their skills up to date to aid with colony planning. The number of M-class worlds being considered for the New Vulcan colony had been reduced considerably, but there was still debate over which would be most suitable. A list showing the current skillset of the Vulcan people would go a long way to what sort of resources need to be prioritized at the initial landing site and hopefully reduce the number of viable options.

The pair of Spock���s fourth cousins who were supposedly related to them through Solkar were delayed indefinitely due to a lack of available staff to replace them, but that meant there was an additional bedroom available to house visitors until their situation was resolved. Sarek wasn’t displeased by the delay. He had found records in the backup archives that implied the break in the family was due to some extreme show of xenophobia by Solkar’s sister and since then none of those living in the farmhouse were quite as excited about growing the clan as they had been. T’Pau reminded them all that they should judge people by their individual actions and not only by their fore-bearers, but she no longer talked as much about the plans for their arrival either.

Spock saw little of Jim during the month, and later found out he’d spent several nights in the city with his surgeon progressing his treatment and having the feeding port removed. Jim then went directly to San Fransisco to handle finalizing his graduation paperwork in person. There was a date set in another week for Jim to defend his thesis, but that could easily be done remotely since two of the committee evaluating him were off world. Other than that, it seemed that Jim was completely finished with all his current coursework and related paperwork well ahead of the semester’s end. Spock suspected he had requested exams in place of the standard coursework but was unsure Jim would want to talk about the Academy with him considering how they met. Most of what Spock knew came from Amanda asking Jim questions after a meal. There were far less charged topics of conversation.

Jim returned to the daily routine of the farmhouse soon after the steady stream of adults trailing small children to adopt stopped coming through the farmhouse. A coincidence Spock wasn’t certain was natural. Two of the children that had been living with them, making up one of the young bonded pairs, were adopted and left the farm. Shortly thereafter, Tivin arrived from the embassy with two more small orphans to refill the nursery. Tivin was a very dark skinned sixteen-year-old orphan, and he was given the bedroom that had been reserved for Spock’s fourth cousins in the belief that they would not arrive before he had moved on. He had been beamed aboard Enterprise with his bondmate, but she had left Earth to stay with her aunt on a space station. The aunt thought it would be improper to adopt Tivin as essentially his bondmate’s cousin given their ages, and worried they would become codependent if left alone together for too long. One of the elders that remained at the San Fransisco embassy agreed that their behavior had become unhealthy before their separation. She wanted him to be adopted by another who would then join their families together when the time came for their union. He hadn’t been doing well before, and obviously had gotten worse since the separation, and the hope was that the farm’s more peaceful atmosphere and greater availability of adult guidance would help him center himself before his outbursts caused any permanent harm to himself or others. During their last horseback ride together, which had become a fairly common activity Spock looked forward to, Jim invited Tivin along.

At first Spock worried that they would have another situation similar to T’Nira on their hands, but from the moment Jim returned to the farm he treated Tivin like he was a full adult. Jim talked about how he had secured a part-time position at the shipyard at fifteen and asked if Tivin had considered employment yet. Then, when Tivin sulked rather than answer promptly, Jim explained the difficulties he faced keeping the job beyond that first summer by taking a shuttle back to Riverside from a specialized engineering high school in Iowa’s capital city and encouraged Tivin to talk about his academic interests throughout. It got Tivin thinking and eventually talking about how to adapt his previous plan for his future - he had wanted to be an architect designing highly artistic buildings - to the new reality they faced. What Jim told the boy was quite true: they would be in dire need of willing builders once a colony world was chosen, and an apprentice position building the new colony could teach him a lot about the practicalities in exchange for his labor that would be useful for an architect to understand. With the amount of competition for such a position a complete unknown, Tivin would have to focus on his goals to be sure he could secure an apprentice position if one was available.

Spock took over the conversation at that point to let Jim’s voice rest, explaining that the primary motivation for T’Nira’s adoption by his cousins was to secure a bond with a highly motivated student interested in their craft and ensure that T’Hira’s specialist knowledge was preserved, although they did cherish her and expected her to be a good elder sister to their infant child as well. There was the slight problem that architects didn’t work in the places that Enterprise had targeted. Unlike the happy accident of pulling the small family of craftsman off the street in front of a school, to Spock’s knowledge no architects had been beamed aboard by their crew. It was possible that the group brought to Delta Vega by Montgomery Scott included one or that one of the outposts had a suitable individual. Even if Tivin wasn’t adopted outright by whatever master accepted him, it would still be a worthwhile working relationship that would bring him some stability and might attract the attention of others looking to adopt an older child into their clan. A rare skill was of great value, after all, and he could study architecture from books while waiting for a teacher to be found.

Jim added that aging out of adoption and into a peer group instead of being taken in by a family wasn’t so bad, which Spock knew to be autobiographical but also very much a human concept, and reminded Tivin that he did already have a family through his bondmate. So long as he did his best and held up his end of things, working toward the goals he set, that was all anyone could or should expect of someone Tivin’s age. When Tivin confessed that he had dropped several levels in his academic performance since the Immeasurable Loss and had experienced embarrassing bouts of uncontrolled emotion, Jim waved it off.

“Everyone grieves differently, but you do have a responsibility to become a functioning member of society again.”

“You are only required to perform as optimally as you are able,” Spock added. “When you fall short of your own standards, seek improvement until you meet them again. This may take time, but remember that it has taken some elders significant time to reorient themselves as well. You are not the only one struggling.”

“You arrived right before May Day, too, so great timing. Relax and enjoy a festival all about fire and fertility.”

“You mean it is for the fertile fields,” Tivin said cautiously. Jim chuckled carefully, still cautious of re-injuring himself.

“Fields, people, animals… the fertility of all things under the sun and moon. The return of the heat, the last victory of spring over the winter chill, and the bounty of the first harvests. If you aren’t careful you might end up attracting more attention from the local girls than your bondmate would appreciate,” Jim warned. Spock frowned at that but kept his peace for the moment. If Tivin seemed to be repeating one of Spock’s mistakes he would talk to the boy, but for now Jim was only making a slightly off-color joke.

The morning of May first, Stardate 2258.121 by his own calendar, Spock woke earlier than usual and took the opportunity of using the bathing facilities uncontested. Water showers were a rare luxury on Vulcan used in exclusive spas, by prescription, and during rituals after certain life events like the birth of a child. Here in Riverside, they did have the option of a generously sized bathtub and all of the smaller children would usually bathe in it using a bowl to wet their hair as was more traditional. However, Spock, Rivan, and T’Hir had decided to indulge in the feel of rain more often than not. The sensual feel of the water impacting his bare skin was deeply soothing and made meditation easier.

They didn’t even have to feel guilty for the evaporation of so much water because there was a vent to gather the steam. Spock had been hesitant to use as much hot water as he liked at first, but Rivan had noticed that the HVAC system diagram Jim kept in with the home repair tools had a condensed water handing line and the specifications said that the system added to or pulled excess humidity out of the air to a set range. From there the reclaimed water vapor was sent to the gray water system. That system’s diagram showed that after some treatment the water was naturally returned to soil through a drainage field under the back garden, and therefore eventually percolated down to the aquifer that fed the well or up into the roots of the garden’s fruit, flower, and vegetable beds. It was the sort of water recycling he’d only expect to see in the closed system of a starship, but the area was considered arid farmland by Terran standards. While not as lossless as a similar Vulcan-designed system one might find at the spas and bathhouses of his home planet, it was good enough for Spock to feel comfortable putting the temperature up to it’s highest setting while he bathed.

Vulcans were circadian heterotherms, after all, and there was only so much space on the hearth rug or in the meditation room. If Spock could satisfy some of his need to bask in heat while bathing, then he wouldn’t need to do it later in the day. Normally he would increase the heat in his room while meditating, but the farmhouse bedrooms were not sufficiently insulated for that practice. As far as his body’s internal functions were concerned, he’d been operating on a nightshift schedule while in Starfleet, working in the comparatively cold conditions of a starship or regulation classroom and then resting in the heat of his private quarters. It was not so different than the hunters of old, who would move stealthily through the colder night air and then sleep through the midday heat after delivering the spoils of their labors to their clan. Given his age and physical fitness, one might even say that being active during the heat of the day was less natural for him. It had certainly taken a bit of effort to sleep during the endothermic part of his daily cycle, but he adjusted quickly enough to the cool nights.

He could go without basking, but like a plant moved from its preferred sunny windowsill to a shaded table it would have increasingly negative effects over time. Babies and the elderly needed more time in the heat than healthy adults in their prime, which was why T’Hir and Rivan’s infant was almost always bundled up or skin-to-skin with one of them. While Spock had not noticed the decline due to his own troubles before they arrived at the farm, he did notice that the long hours T’Pau spent in front of the fireplace had caused visible improvement. Her desire to let Sarek attend most of the in-person political meetings, likely in relatively cold rooms designed to accommodate both Vulcans and Andorians in a neutral temperature that neither found completely comfortable, seemed not to have much to do with her grieving and everything to do with her physical needs as an elder. She was still a fierce negotiator and used the terminal in the library room for her official negotiations before moving back to the fireside to bask in the heat of the flames.

Spock hoped that among the crafts on display today he could find something warm for her. Jim had mentioned a sheep farm that produced a wide range of wool products and often offered the things left over from the previous year’s work at the May Day festival for whoever had need of them. After he discovered the old ones had become infested with moths during long-term storage, Jim had given them one of his luxury credits in exchange for a fresh set of wool blankets just before Spock’s clan arrived. They were simple rectangles in bright solid colors with a smooth cotton backing to the quilted blankets, likely made quickly with a simple diamond pattern stitching the two layers together. The elaborately embroidered garments T’Pau was rescued in were too precious and not warm enough for everyday wear in this climate, and while they had all been given some warmer clothing, she seemed to have underestimated the natural chill of San Fransisco’s damp air when she made her selections from what was offered. It would be rude to pry by asking if she was warm enough, and unnecessary as well when he knew she could use a robe or shawl.

When he came downstairs the fireplace was cold, and he went about clearing away yesterday’s ash and preparing today’s fire. The fuel was neither some type of plant oil or wax, nor simple split logs and branches as Spock would expect. The blocks of plant matter were a product of local industry. They were primarily waste agricultural fiber from food production and processing such as nut shells, sawdust, used distillery grain, and so on mixed with wax to produce uniform flammable blocks that were extruded into a roughly log-shaped form. The resulting flames were steady and warmer than natural wood fires, though not as hot as some of the oil-fed braziers that heated many communal meditation rooms. Jim said that the flame was clean enough to cook over, but everyone agreed the induction stove, oven, and synthesizer in the kitchen were the preferable appliances. He had clearly had some specific treat in mind, but backpedaled suddenly. Whatever it was, it must have been some human tradition because Mother suddenly popped up from her seat and rushed to cover for the half-suggestion with a hasty distraction. Spock suspected his father knew what it was, the shrewd way he observed his wife was telling, but Sarek remained silent on the matter.

By the time Spock was finished basking in the flames, Rivan had come down with his babe in his robe. The child was awake and vocalizing quietly in a content stream of babble that would one day become speech. Her simple thoughts were projecting out of sync with the noises in a hazy broadcast of undisciplined joy, curiosity, and security. It was no big mystery to Spock why those few beamed aboard with the tiniest children had the fastest recovery times from the panic and trauma of the Immeasurable Loss. An infant’s needs were easy to satisfy, the parent instinctively focused on them, and the concept that everything will be fine so long as one’s base needs are taken care of was quite valuable in a crisis.

This wasn’t to say that it was easy to be the parent of an infant or toddler at this time. T’Hir and Rivan couldn’t bring the child home when she was scared and everything smelled wrong, only assure the child that she was safe where she was through telepathy. They could not provide favorite toys that were now lost, only replacements that weren’t quite right. When the child wanted an aunt or cousin who was now dead, they could only offer the new family they now had.

Spock wasn’t a great replacement for their lost family. He was deeply uncomfortable around the infant and had no interest in parenting the children. He helped where he felt he could, supervising lessons and chores so Rivan and T’Hira could have time for themselves or amusing himself quietly on the porch while the children explored and played in the gardens, but he simply was not comfortable in a parental role. Many of them spoke to or about him using word and suffix choices for an older sibling or peer rather than an uncle or elder neighbor, and while that bothered Sarek as improper address it didn’t bother Spock at all. He was far more comfortable with the more nebulous position despite the apparent disrespect. He certainly didn’t want any of them thinking there was a chance he would adopt them. He was more certain than ever that he simply did not want children, at least during the early stage of his life. He had at least a century to change his mind, after all.

Rivan let his infant down onto the warm hearth rug. The obvious fragility of her tiny body still startled Spock whenever she was taken out of her swaddle for exercise. Human children were much rounder, at least as far as Spock had seen, every part of them chubby and padded. Vulcan children had chubby faces and their torsos did have a large store of fat, but their limbs were leaner and longer in proportion to their bodies. Much closer to an adult Vulcan than a human infant was to an adult human, and to his eyes all the more fragile. The little one wriggled about. She was strong enough to roll and put her hands down to lift her head to look around, but her legs kicked ineffectually as she scooted forward to touch Spock’s knee.

The infant thought of a sehlat, and sand, and red rock. Spock responded with the farmhouse’s back garden and horses. It was a simple conversation, still accompanied by the babble, but not unpleasant. When she started to request to be picked up, Spock directed her back to Rivan. Her tiny little fingers looked as fragile as blown glass to him. While Spock was capable of handling delicate objects with care, the scientific instruments he worked with were not in the habit of wiggling about unexpectedly. She didn’t understand why he was worried about dropping her because only small hands weren’t strong enough to pick her up and he had big hands.

“It is my turn to begin breakfast,” Spock said to Rivan. The older man nodded and caught his daughter’s attention with a stuffed toy.

Spock was by now quite familiar with the kitchen. Mother set it up very similar to his childhood home, which made it both familiar and occasionally uncomfortable. They had made jelly out of some of the fresh seasonal fruits, mixing in supplements so that the Terran food would provide for Vulcan needs. Mother had kept a garden of Terran vegetables to supplement her diet, and Spock had needed to take care to ensure his own nutritional needs were met after he left Vulcan. So many Terran foods tasted as if they were high value foods but were actually lacking in what a Vulcan body would need. It was primarily Mother’s tomatoes that provided her vitamins that were somewhat lacking in Vulcan food, while Spock had imported plomeeks while living on Earth for the same reason.

When he packed up his apartment Spock brought all that he had, which admittedly wasn’t much. There was a small copper pot that would infuse acidic foods with a nice amount of copper to supplement his diet in the same way that humans benefited from iron cookware, which now saw daily use. Jars of spices and vacuum-sealed packages of Starfleet standard pre- portioned meals that only required him to load the synthesizer and select the appropriate program, which had been opened and analyzed so that they could be recreated in an appropriate size for all the residents of the farmhouse. A formal tea set made of Vulcan’s red clay that had mostly sat on a shelf while he got standard white mugs of tea from the synthesizer, now used in series alongside Kirk’s rounder and more floral set. T’Pau refused to use the cups made with bone ash, but the rest of them would use the teaset through the day and leave the terracotta cups for observances and dinner to save on the need to run the dish sanitizer so often. T’Pau simply used the glasses to sip water during the day, cutting down on the number of hot beverages she drank, which likely contributed to the chill that Spock observed plaguing her. Spock, Amanda, and Jim were the only ones who used the simpler mugs; Jim couldn’t identify what sort of material the cheap mugs were made of beyond saying they were ceramic and so the assumption was that they weren’t fit to use. There wasn’t actually much flatware to go around in the first place, one of the few supplies nobody had thought of before they moved in. Spock had explained to Rivan that bone china was the more expensive material, and that simple clay was of lesser quality by human standards, but while he understood the physical properties of the materials Rivan remained skeptical that the mugs were the inferior option when Jim had asked that one of them be reserved as his favorite mug. His wife wouldn’t even listen to an explanation for why humans ate off reformed animal bones long enough to understand the topic. None of the plates from the farmhouse’s formal dining set were used by anyone, if only because they had enough plates that their use was unnecessary.

T’Pring would have packed all the bone china and put it away somewhere so nobody could use it. She wouldn’t stand for its use even just in her presence, though T’Pau would likely have been able to talk her into some practical compromise. She had always been a perfectionist when it came to the organization and appointment of any living space, reorganizing something about Spock’s assigned room on a space station or ship when she visited and criticizing the quality of many standard-issue items. So much of the farmhouse was clearly not Vulcan that she would hate it here. The walls of the room he currently slept in would disgust her, the walls coated in the color of blood dripped into dust.

Spock shook himself. Focusing on these mundane, small things was the best he could do. Remain in the moment, paying attention to the task at hand and his surroundings. He didn’t mind the room, the green matched the grain growing in the fields outside and it was small enough that there wasn’t any excess space. He’d placed his possessions in such a way that there were no gaps to imply anything was missing. His lirpa was secured above the dresser near the door and his lyre was hung above his bed where a wreath had been, the dusty decoration packed away in the attic storage.

He hadn’t played. Mother was worried about him because he hadn’t played, but despite his boredom he just never found the time and motivation. Father mentioned it yesterday. Today was a major festival and they would be busy the entire day, but perhaps he’d play tomorrow.

Spock was functioning. He crushed nuts in a bowl and set the jam out on the table. The porridge was a Terran grain ground down into what Jim called ‘cream of wheat’ and prepared with butter and nutmeg. A couple yellow bananas, for the Humans’ nutritional needs, and some bright blue shredded knik root, for the Vulcans’ nutritional needs, rounded out the toppings. T’Hira set out juice, Sarek made tea, and before long they were all gathered around the table. Spock was functioning. How optimally was impossible to measure, as his focus waxed and waned, but he was functioning. As they told Tivin, they all have a responsibility to become functioning members of society again, and Spock was functioning as optimally as he was able.

[venice-1987]

The dog, a 13 year old black lab mutt, was clearly on its last legs. I had visited the home of the former partners for an initial meeting. It soon devolved into petty arguments and shouted insults, so much so that I wasn’t able to speak long before more scathing words were hurled towards the other. They didn’t much care if they were actually heard. I eventually accepted that they just needed to release what had been building for a while. 

But the dog came barking, directing it at no one in particular but adding more noise to the mess. Its eyes were foggy, and it must have lost control over its saliva a long time ago. As it reacted to the shouting the only way an age-addled dog knew how, drool flung across the room, catching on the edge of the dining room table cloth and puddling on the wood floor. The fur around its muzzle had lost all color, and its fragile limbs shook with the force of its own bark. It had clearly been in the home for a long while, and might be on its way out before the divorce was finalized. 

I had sighed, seeing no way the scene would calm any time soon. I placed my hands over my ears and waited. But on the edge of the stair landing, legs dangling between the banisters and face pressed into the wood was the child of the house. He had been described on paper. Twelve years old, biological to both parents, male, brown hair and eyes, and a weight of  a very skinny seventy pounds. 

The hardest part of being a divorce lawyer was always the children. I could deal with the parents, and frankly enjoyed a bit of tasteful drama. Mindless argument was another thing entirely. But it was always something I only had to endure until the end of the case. 

The son slipped out from between the bars and retreated further into the upstairs.

He could hardly do that now, in front of a courtroom. His saving grace came when, three days into the argument over that dog, the judge became exasperated at the weak ‘evidence’ to support custody and called for a short recess while he considered the facts. He was the first out of the room. I became exhausted at the circus, and was the second to leave. 

I found him in an adjacent hallway in the courthouse. He parked himself on the bench halfway down the corridor, his face red and puffy and his hands tucked in his lap. His feet didn’t reach the floor, and it struck me how little he was. How young. When I approached, he turned to me with a nasty glare. He needed someone to blame. What better person than the lawyer ensuring the divorce would happen. In a child’s mind, who’s to say I wasn’t the cause entirely. 

“That's my dog, you know,” he snapped. His voice was wet, but very angry. I endured. It was the least I could give him. “My parents-” he spat the word “-always talked about how she would snuggle into Mom’s stomach. And that she would curl up by my crib as a baby.”

“I played with her. Threw her favorite ball for her,” he said, stabbing his finger into his chest with each word. “She is my best friend before anyone at school, and you’re trying to take her away from me. My parents don’t even care about me anymore.”

Enough was enough. “Come with me,” I said. He crossed his arms.

“Shut up,” he said. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

He tensed when I began to move, like I would get him into trouble. But I just walked away. I found the parents quickly. They glared at each other from across the lobby of the courthouse, too occupied to even notice their son was missing. That he had run from the court. I motioned for both of them to join me, and they approached, bristling at the other. 

“This is ridiculous,” I said. Both reared back with offense, by I interrupted any indignant response they began to sputter out. “Your son is sitting alone in some strange and unfamiliar place and all you two can think about is hating each other and arguing about some…some dog!” 

The parents deflated. The mother put her hand to her mouth, and the father pressed his lips into a thin line. I didn’t think I needed to say it but I did nonetheless. “Shame on you.”

“Where is he?” the father asked. 

“He said he doesn't think you actually care about him,” I said. “You haven’t proven him wrong yet.” 

By then, the mother had begun to cry. “He loves that dog. She’s been his best friend since…She saw him off on his first day of school. She welcomed him home when he was born. He…” Her voice broke. The father looked like he wanted to comfort her, but he only crossed his arms. 

“We know that whoever gets the dog gets him,” he said. “I suppose it was easier to fight over an animal than to think I might lose…” His words failed him too. 

“I think you need to go tell him that,”  I said. I had softened my resolve, but remained firm. For perhaps the first time, they both nodded, agreeing. Without another word, they went to find him. They walked side by side, with space between them, but together. 

I never knew what they told him. I didn’t want to intrude, and it was likely the kid still believed I held the blame for the separation. But he returned to the courtroom, and didn’t look quite as defeated, even as the arguments lasted another day. The divorce proceeded, property was distributed. But in the end, the dog went to the boy.

You’re a judge assigned in a divorce case. Both former spouses have been fighting fiercely for three days to get full custody… of the family dog. They have not once mentioned their 12-year-old son, who watches everything from behind, looking defeated.

[kom-poetry-channel]

All right, all right, I'll translate the patriotic doggerel and get it out of the way!

I was, actually, working on translating some fairly serious poetry when this minor verse of Kipling's came to my attention and insisted on taking up all the lyrical parts of my brain. I ended up translating it out of sheer self-defense just so I could be thinking about some other words than "England's sword unsheathed / put half the world to flight". Kipling wrote this literally as schoolboy history, for "A School History of England", but for all I call it 'doggerel' you can't say he didn't put his best effort into the thing; that repeated bitter "not while" is really quite memorable. One hopes nobody in the Foreign Office in, say, 1956 (or 1941, or 1947, or 1973…) had learned their Atlantic history from the book and allowed it to influence their attitude to the hegemon. Churchill's quip, about the US always doing the right thing after all alternatives have been tried, comes to mind; but he was in school twenty or thirty years too early for the "School History". Kipling's opinion on the colonial rebellion may have been widespread among the British elite - indeed for all I know he got it from his own schoolbooks. At any rate the position that the colonies had been defended at extreme expense and the colonials ought to pay was the core of the whole conflict, and Kipling naturally takes the strongest version of the English side of the dispute. Adam Smith, contemporary to the rebellion, took the opposite side that if the colonies couldn't be made to pay, they should rather be made independent - in which case, presumably, they'd be paying for their own defense whether they liked it or not. But Smith was an economist and thought of incentives and efficiency; Kipling was a patriot and thought of loyalty and duty. Economics be damned, the colonials had a duty to the Crown and ought to pay for the Royal Navy the same as every other subject; and by the evidence of the first two verses, he's genuinely angry, more than a century later, that they chose otherwise.

The switch from that anger to the elegiac calmness of "After" is a little startling; in the "School History" these verses were separated by the narrative text describing the war, and Kipling may not have thought of them as being two parts of the same poem. It does seem that being angry brought out his best effort; "worshippers at Freedom's shrine" is heartfelt if sarcastic, "too busy to think of war" is conventional.

The illustrations for "Before" are mostly paintings of scenes from the Seven Years' War (presumably the specific conflict Kipling had in mind, with "Frenchman gone from the North" and "shattered Spain"); in order, they are:

"Half the world to flight" - scenes from the most famous battles in each major theatre: climbing the cliffs to the Plains of Abraham, advancing with fixed bayonets at Minden, and following Clive into the attack at Plassey.

"New-built cities" - contemporary map of the English colonies.

"Pole to Line" - Battle of Quiberon Bay by Richard Paton.

"Did not quit her then" - Washington at Monongahela, organising the rear guard after Braddock's disaster.

"Foes were driven forth" - Battle of Quiberon Bay, the Day After by Richard Wright.

"Frenchman from the North" - capitulation of Montreal.

"Clean-swept oceans" - Bombardment of El Morro Castle during the Capture of Havana, Raphael Monleon.

"What they owed" - Join or Die, showing eight colonies as pieces of a snake.

Norwegian text:

Før

Ikke mens Englands sverd påny drev halve verden på flukt ikke mens nybrøten bygd og by pustet bak hennes tukt ikke mens England til forsvar ga hen gull, og skip, og blod - disse Frihetens svorne menn: da var de henne tro!

Ei før hver uvenn fra kysten fór og England vant deres sak ei før franskmannen rømte fra nord og spanjolens rike lå vrak ei før på ryddet og trygget hav intet fiendtlig flagg å se husket de Frihetens strenge krav og tok til motet for det!

Etter

Snø ligger tykt over Valley Forge isen på Delaware men de som falt her for kong George de bryr seg aldri mer.

Ikke skjønt kusymra smått om senn bryter ut der solstrålen når og knuffende kråkereir kunngjør igjen at vårt England på ny har vår.

De rører seg ikke for smeltet fonn eller isen som tiner i fjorden; og de som falt for Washington ligger like stilt i jorden.

De rører seg ikke når blomsterflor fordriver furuskogs dis, og i alle steinete beiter gror akeleie og filtkongslys.

Hver for sitt land, i åpen strid, kjempet og møtte sin død; og den gode jord, fri for hat og nid, dekker dem i sitt skjød.

Hun har ingen tid til menneskers hær; mot vinter og is hennes slag; og se, de årlige blomstene er hvor de var i fedrenes dag!

Gullris hvor beite mot skogen lir når kongslysets blomst har falt fra og sumak-løv som høsten gir fargen til blodet de ga.

[neil-gaiman]

How Did you come up with the first eve in the story about adams wives? I haven’t been able to find anything about her after I read it and I want to know if she’s an actual biblical character or just someone you made

She's from the Midrash. I learned about her as a 12 year old, from my barmitzvah teacher. There was a point in there, long after I'd put her into Sandman, where I was starting to think I'd imagined her, when I ran across her in Robert Graves's Hebrew Myths....

Excerpt from: The Hebrew Myths by Robert Graves and Raphael Patai (New York:  Doubleday, 1964), pp 65-69

Chapter 10: Adam's Helpmeets

(a) Having decided to give Adam a helpmeet lest he should be alone of his kind, God put him into a deep sleep, removed one of his ribs, formed it into a woman, and closed up the wound, Adam awoke and said: 'This being shall be named "Woman", because she has been taken out of man. A man and a woman shall be one flesh.' The title he gave her was Eve, 'the Mother of All Living''. [1]

(b) Some say that God created man and woman in His own image on the Sixth Day, giving them charge over the world; [2]  but that Eve did not yet exist. Now, God had set Adam to name every beast, bird and other living thing. When they passed before him in pairs, male and female, Adam-being already like a twenty-year-old man-felt jealous of their loves, and though he tried coupling with each female in turn, found no satisfaction in the act. He therefore cried: 'Every creature but I has a proper mate', and prayed God would remedy this injustice. [3]

(c) God then formed Lilith, the first woman, just as He had formed Adam, except that He used filth and sediment instead of pure dust. From Adam's union with this demoness, and with another like her named Naamah, Tubal Cain's sister, sprang Asmodeus and innumerable demons that still plague mankind. Many generations later, Lilith and Naamah came to Solomon's judgement seat, disguised as harlots of Jerusalem'. [4]

(d) Adam and Lilith never found peace together; for when he wished to lie with her, she took offence at the recumbent posture he demanded. 'Why must I lie beneath you?' she asked. 'I also was made from dust, and am therefore your equal.' Because Adam tried to compel her obedience by force, Lilith, in a rage, uttered the magic name of God, rose into the air and left him.

Adam complained to God: 'I have been deserted by my helpmeet' God at once sent the angels Senoy, Sansenoy and Semangelof to fetch Lilith back. They found her beside the Red Sea, a region abounding in lascivious demons, to whom she bore lilim at the rate of more than one hundred a day. 'Return to Adam without delay,' the angels said, `or we will drown you!' Lilith asked: `How can I return to Adam and live like an honest housewife, after my stay beside the Red Sea?? 'It will be death to refuse!' they answered. `How can I die,' Lilith asked again, `when God has ordered me to take charge of all newborn children: boys up to the eighth day of life, that of circumcision; girls up to the twentieth day. None the less, if ever I see your three names or likenesses displayed in an amulet above a newborn child, I promise to spare it.' To this they agreed; but God punished Lilith by making one hundred of her demon children perish daily; [5] and if she could not destroy a human infant, because of the angelic amulet, she would spitefully turn against her own. [6]

(e) Some say that Lilith ruled as queen in Zmargad, and again in Sheba; and was the demoness who destroyed job's sons. [7] Yet she escaped the curse of death which overtook Adam, since they had parted long before the Fall. Lilith and Naamah not only strangle infants but also seduce dreaming men, any one of whom, sleeping alone, may become their victim. [8]

(f) Undismayed by His failure to give Adam a suitable helpmeet, God tried again, and let him watch while he built up a woman's anatomy: using bones, tissues, muscles, blood and glandular secretions, then covering the whole with skin and adding tufts of hair in places. The sight caused Adam such disgust that even when this woman, the First Eve, stood there in her full beauty, he felt an invincible repugnance. God knew that He had failed once more, and took the First Eve away. Where she went, nobody knows for certain. [9]

(g) God tried a third time, and acted more circumspectly. Having taken a rib from Adam's side in his sleep, He formed it into a woman; then plaited her hair and adorned her, like a bride, with twenty-four pieces of jewellery, before waking him. Adam was entranced. [10]

(h) Some say that God created Eve not from Adam's rib, but from a tail ending in a sting which had been part of his body. God cut this off, and the stump-now a useless coccyx-is still carried by Adam's descendants. [11]

(i) Others say that God's original thought had been to create two human beings, male and female; but instead He designed a single one with a male face looking forward, and a female face looking back. Again He changed His mind, removed Adam's backward-looking face, and built a woman's body for it. [12]

(j) Still others hold that Adam was originally created as an androgyne of male and female bodies joined back to back. Since this posture made locomotion difficult, and conversation awkward, God divided the androgyne and gave each half a new rear. These separate beings He placed in Eden, forbidding them to couple. [13]

Notes on sources:

1. Genesis II. 18-25; III. 20.

2. Genesis I. 26-28.

3. Gen. Rab. 17.4; B. Yebamot 632.

4. Yalqut Reubeni ad. Gen. II. 21; IV. 8.

5. Alpha Beta diBen Sira, 47; Gaster, MGWJ, 29 (1880), 553 ff.

6. Num. Rab. 16.25.

7. Targum ad job 1. 15.

8. B. Shabbat 151b; Ginzberg, LJ, V. 147-48.

9. Gen. Rab. 158, 163-64; Mid. Abkir 133, 135; Abot diR. Nathan 24; B. Sanhedrin 39a.

10. Gen. II. 21-22; Gen. Rab. 161.

11. Gen. Rab. 134; B. Erubin 18a.

12. B. Erubin 18a.

13. Gen. Rab. 55; Lev. Rab. 14.1: Abot diR. Nathan 1.8; B. Berakhot 61a; B. Erubin 18a; Tanhuma Tazri'a 1; Yalchut Gen. 20; Tanh. Buber iii.33; Mid. Tehillim 139, 529.

Authors’ Comments on the Myth:

1. The tradition that man's first sexual intercourse was with animals, not women, may be due to the widely spread practice of bestiality among herdsmen of the Middle East, which is still condoned by custom, although figuring three times in the Pentateuch as a capital crime. In the Akkadian Gilgamesh Epic, Enkidu is said to have lived with gazelles and jostled other wild beasts at the watering place, until civilized by Aruru's priestess. Having enjoyed her embraces for six days and seven nights, he wished to rejoin the wild beasts but, to his surprise, they fled from him. Enkidu then knew that he had gained understanding, and the priestess said: 'Thou art wise, Enkidu, like unto a godl'

2. Primeval man was held by the Babylonians to have been androgynous. Thus the Gilgamesh Epic gives Enkidu androgynous features: `the hair of his head like a woman's, with locks that sprout like those of Nisaba, the Grain-goddess.' The Hebrew tradition evidently derives from Greek sources, because both terms used in a Tannaitic midrash to describe the bisexual Adam are Greek: androgynos, 'man-woman', and diprosopon, 'twofaced'. Philo of Alexandria, the Hellenistic philosopher and commentator on the Bible, contemporary with Jesus, held that man was at first bisexual; so did the Gnostics. This belief is clearly borrowed from Plato. Yet the myth of two bodies placed back to back may well have been founded on observation of Siamese twins, which are sometimes joined in this awkward manner. The two-faced Adam appears to be a fancy derived from coins or statues of Janus, the Roman New Year god.

3. Divergences between the Creation myths of Genesis r and n, which allow Lilith to be presumed as Adam's first mate, result from a careless weaving together of an early Judaean and a late priestly tradition. The older version contains the rib incident. Lilith typifies the Anath-worshipping Canaanite women, who were permitted pre-nuptial promiscuity. Time after time the prophets denounced Israelite women for following Canaanite practices; at first, apparently, with the priests' approval-since their habit of dedicating to God the fees thus earned is expressly forbidden in Deuteronomy xxIII. I8. Lilith's flight to the Red Sea recalls the ancient Hebrew view that water attracts demons. 'Tortured and rebellious demons' also found safe harbourage in Egypt. Thus Asmodeus, who had strangled Sarah's first six husbands, fled 'to the uttermost parts of Egypt' (Tobit viii. 3), when Tobias burned the heart and liver of a fish on their wedding night.

4. Lilith's bargain with the angels has its ritual counterpart in an apotropaic rite once performed in many Jewish communities. To protect the newborn child against Lilith-and especially a male, until he could be permanently safeguarded by circumcision-a ring was drawn with natron, or charcoal, on the wall of the birthroom, and inside it were written the words: 'Adam and Eve. Out, Lilith!' Also the names Senoy, Sansenoy and Semangelof (meanings uncertain) were inscribed on the door. If Lilith nevertheless succeeded in approaching the child and fondling him, he would laugh in his sleep. To avert danger, it was held wise to strike the sleeping child's lips with one finger-whereupon Lilith would vanish.

5. 'Lilith' is usually derived from the Babylonian-Assyrian word lilitu, ,a female demon, or wind-spirit'-one of a triad mentioned in Babylonian spells. But she appears earlier as 'Lillake' on a 2000 B.G. Sumerian tablet from Ur containing the tale of Gilgamesh and the Willow Tree. There she is a demoness dwelling in the trunk of a willow-tree tended by the Goddess Inanna (Anath) on the banks of the Euphrates. Popular Hebrew etymology seems to have derived 'Lilith' from layil, 'night'; and she therefore often appears as a hairy night-monster, as she also does in Arabian folklore. Solomon suspected the Queen of Sheba of being Lilith, because she had hairy legs. His judgement on the two harlots is recorded in I Kings III. 16 ff. According to Isaiah xxxiv. I4-I5, Lilith dwells among the desolate ruins in the Edomite Desert where satyrs (se'ir), reems, pelicans, owls, jackals, ostriches, arrow-snakes and kites keep her company.

6. Lilith's children are called lilim. In the Targum Yerushalmi, the priestly blessing of Numbers vi. 26 becomes: 'The Lord bless thee in all thy doings, and preserve thee from the Lilim!' The fourth-century A.D. commentator Hieronymus identified Lilith with the Greek Lamia, a Libyan queen deserted by Zeus, whom his wife Hera robbed of her children. She took revenge by robbing other women of theirs.

7. The Lamiae, who seduced sleeping men, sucked their blood and ate their flesh, as Lilith and her fellow-demonesses did, were also known as Empusae, 'forcers-in'; or Mormolyceia, 'frightening wolves'; and described as 'Children of Hecate'. A Hellenistic relief shows a naked Lamia straddling a traveller asleep on his back. It is characteristic of civilizations where women are treated as chattels that they must adopt the recumbent posture during intercourse, which Lilith refused. That Greek witches who worshipped Hecate favoured the superior posture, we know from Apuleius; and it occurs in early Sumerian representations of the sexual act, though not in the Hittite. Malinowski writes that Melanesian girls ridicule what they call `the missionary position', which demands that they should lie passive and recumbent.

8. Naamah, 'pleasant', is explained as meaning that 'the demoness sang pleasant songs to idols'. Zmargad suggest smaragdos, the semi-precious aquamarine; and may therefore be her submarine dwelling. A demon named Smaragos occurs in the Homeric Epigrams.

9. Eve's creation by God from Adam's rib-a myth establishing male supremacy and disguising Eve's divinity-lacks parallels in Mediterranean or early Middle-Eastern myth. The story perhaps derives iconotropically from an ancient relief, or painting, which showed the naked Goddess Anath poised in the air, watching her lover Mot murder his twin Aliyan; Mot (mistaken by the mythographer for Yahweh) was driving a curved dagger under Aliyan's fifth rib, not removing a sixth one. The familiar story is helped by a hidden pun on tsela, the Hebrew for 'rib': Eve, though designed to be Adam's helpmeet, proved to be a tsela, a 'stumbling', or 'misfortune'. Eve's formation from Adam's tail is an even more damaging myth; perhaps suggested by the birth of a child with a vestigial tail instead of a coccyx-a not infrequent occurrence.

10. The story of Lilith's escape to the East and of Adam's subsequent marriage to Eve may, however, record an early historical incident: nomad herdsmen, admitted into Lilith's Canaanite queendom as guests (see 16. 1), suddenly seize power and, when the royal household thereupon flees, occupy a second queendom which owes allegiance to the Hittite Goddess Heba.

The meaning of 'Eve' is disputed. Hawwah is explained in Genesis III. 20 as 'mother of all living'; but this may well be a Hebraicized form of the divine name Heba, Hebat, Khebat or Khiba. This goddess, wife of the Hittite Storm-god, is shown riding a lion in a rock-sculpture at Hattusaswhich equates her with Anath-and appears as a form of Ishtar in Hurrian texts. She was worshipped at Jerusalem (see 27. 6). Her Greek name was Hebe, Heracles's goddess-wife.

[moririki]

⤷ MORE THAN YOU'D BARGAIN FOR

DENJI X READER -> 1.7K
when it comes to a fool blinded by love, it sure hurts to have the short end of the stick

REQUEST -> ✰
CONTAINS -> angst, friends with benefits‼️, happy ending bc i'm weak like that, denji not knowing how to process emotions, very loose college!au cos i'm lazy, makima being slightly antagonised because fuck her, mentions of sex but nothing super explicit i don't think
MORI'S THOUGHTS -> thinking about denji's hands. i want to learn how to animate manga panels now so i can do a csm edit. also the writing style got kinda boring im SORRY

HEARTBREAK WAS ALWAYS BOUND TO HAPPEN IN THESE SORT OF RELATIONSHIPS. anyone with a pair of eyes and ears could give a clear answer to the question "who does denji like?" and no matter how much you wanted that answer to change, it would never be you.

even when the blonde boy had been so insistent on his heart belonging to another, he still had urges. so under the influence of one too many bottles of alcohol, it was a fairly easy decision for both of you to fall into bed together. more than once. more than you'd care to admit.

being with denji was nice. he was funny, sweet at times and vulgar during the others, and you found yourself repeating a mantra of don't catch feelings for your friend during your time together. and truth be told, it was hard not to, even when you and denji had finished your business and the topic of conversation always seemed to make its way back to makima.

it left a bitter taste in your mouth when denji acted like nothing had happened between the pair of you in other settings. the bitterness turned sour when you realised that there was no reason for him to have to either, and you cursed yourself when you realised you had done the worst thing possible and gone and fallen for your friend who so clearly wouldn't like you back.

but there were times where you thought that you just might have a chance.

even though your cursed your heart for fluttering and rearing its head each time so willingly at denji's mercy, you couldn't help but take every offhand action of his as a ray of hope. with the way his hands engulfed yours to anchor himself as he thrusted into you, the way his lips left urgent kisses on your lips as you panted beneath him, the way he whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you cried out in ecstasy.

and even when you were lying next to each other in his bed, catching your breath. you would turn to look at his face sometimes, only to see him staring at you already with a look in his eyes that could only be described as wistful. but you were a fool to think that you could ever upseat makima in denji's eyes.

false hope could only get you so far.

with his breath tickling the back of your neck and his large hand rubbing patterns into your hip, this false hope really had gotten you somewhere. but all good things must come to an end. words that you dreaded to say weighed heavy on your tongue, but you dragged yourself along, lifting them just enough to feel them escape your lips before you could really stop them.

"denji, what are we?"

you felt the hand that rested on you go still, and the arm that was poised as a pillow for you went rigid. hell, the boy that was holding you so close to his chest had practically stopped breathing, and you felt your eyelids slide shut in a bitter defeat before you heard another word. it's not like you needed them to understand how he felt, anyway.

"we're friends, aren't we?" his tone was so controlled, so even and level and unlike the denji that you knew and, dare you say it, loved. it sent another shot tubneling straight through your heart, and you were glad that you were currently facing away from him. you wouldn't be able to handle seeing the look on his face as all of your tentative hopes were crushed under his heel. all you wanted to do was curl in on yourself and maybe try to cry away the numbness that was invading your body from the chest outward.

you raised a shaking hand to push denji's own off of you, and you felt the mattress underneath you creak as the boy shifted in confusion at your behaviour.

"y/n?"

your kept your back turned to him as you got out of his bed, pulling on your own clothed and scowling in frustration when you couldn't find your shirt anywhere. you were seconds away from letting the first droplets fall, and you did not want to let denji see.

you snagged some random material of a shirt off of the bedroom floor, yanking it over your head and turning to face denji with a face that you hoped wasn't too scrunched from holding back your tears.

"we're not just friends and you fucking know it."

you didn't have time to register his wounded facial expression or the pleading calls of your name that he cast towards your retreating figure, but you grabbed your shoes before leaving his dorm, shutting the door behind you a little too forcefully and storming off back to your own room.

you must look insane, padding along the halls with no shoes as angry tears streaked down your face and you tried your best not to audibly sob. by the time you had made it back to your room your eyes were streaming, and you flopped on your bed with little regard for anything else other than crying your eyes out.

truth be told, after that fateful night and the best cry of your life you felt much better. you knew where you stood, you had your feelings sorted out, and you knew that a little distance would really help you to finally move on from your friend.

now, if only denji would stop calling and texting you like nothing had happened.

you felt like you could scream when you saw a notification from him, asking if you wanted to study for the test that you had next week. you bit back the petty urge to ask him if he wanted to study with you as just friends, instead opting to turn your phone off and bury your face in your pillow once again.

matters of the heart take time, after all.

on denji's end, things weren't looking much better. he brushed off his confusion at your actions and words when you had left so abruptly the other day, only to find himself staring at his ceiling trying to decipher his feelings and what the hell you had meant.

he likes makima. and he has, for a while now. he could count on one hand the amount of times he had interacted with the girl who sat in front of him in the lecture hall, and every time had been met with this strange giddy feeling in his chest. though it was rare, he knew that feeling.

but the one he felt right now was so, so, different. when the door clicked shut behind you, it felt like a piece of him had up and left along with you. the very reason that he had accelerated things so far in your relationship was because of how right things felt with you. the slightest graze of your fingertips across his chest didn't light any fireworks in his mind, but it's like warmth perforated his skin and was injected straight into him from you.

truth be told, that feeling was the most addicting he had ever felt. and when he heard that air of finality right after the door shut behind you, it didn't take long for denji to realise just how cold everything felt without you.

but he still liked makima, right?

that giddy feeling in his chest he got from her was enough to fill the you-shaped hole, right?

you not talking to him wasn't what made his heart hurt, right?

he only realised just how wrong he had it when he talked to makima for the fourth time ever. she had turned in her seat, even smiling at him and asking for a pen, and all that came to mind was how much he missed your smile.

hell, he missed everything. the sound of your laugh, the smell of your hair. the way you fit against him and said his name. and that's when he realised this you-related feeling was.

longing.

there was a knock on your door. and another. you groaned, rolling over to check the time to see that it was three in the morning.

by the time you had cracked your door open you saw a flash of blond hair and a face all-too-familiar, you knew it was too late to slam your door shut. denji's face perked up, and you already knew that you were done for.

he lifted his hand, revealing a pretty albeit crumpled bouquet of flowers. you almost giggled to yourself, guessing that the mastermind of that romantic gesture was most likely denji's roommate aki. but it was appreciated, nonetheless.

"what do you want, denji?" you were painfully aware of just how much of a mess you looked right now- eyes still red around the rim from how many self-pitying tears you had shed over this entire situation.

denji's mouth and opened and closed, and you sighed against your barely open door which still had a chain on it.

"i'm not in the mood, denji."

"no, no, it's just that i wanted to say that i've finally figured out what we are." it appears tgat your friend finally found his voice. you looked him in the eye again, trying not to let the hope in your heart build itself too high. "we're way more than friends, y/n."

you felt any resistance crumble at those words, and the sheepish smile on your face grew.

"so, can i come in?" you smiled at denji, shutting your door to undo the latch before opening it again, wide enough to let him back in to your life. consider him a weakness of yours.

the first thing denji did when he crossed the threshold of your door was wrap his arms around you, dried tears and crumpled flowers and all, and bury his face in your hair. the only words he had to offer was a mumbled i miss you into your skin, and you felt your body melt against him like it had so many times before.

when you finally broke apart, you couldn't help but wonder.

"so, what are the flowers for denji?" the boy before you blushed, his eyes flitting off to the side. he raised a hand to the back of his neck, taking a breath to summon some courage.

"i was hoping... that i could take you out on a date. or be your boyfriend. something like that."

"what?" denji was still bright red, though his eyes were locked onto yours.

"you heard me." you smiled once again, taking a step forwards and effectively closing the distance between you two.

"i would love to."

take a look at the menu - ,, ⚖️ ·˚ ༘ ꒱

[love-is-a-dagger]

Long ride pt 3

Main masterlist

Series masterlist

Biker!au stucky x reader

Summary: Feared bike gang leaders, Steve and Bucky, are emotionless and strong minded, normally not a good mix, but they make it work. What happens when woman gets involved?

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Warnings: attempted kidnapping, physical assault, mention of spoken assault

Not proofread 💀

The night was calm, no noise. Despite that Bucky couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning, but being careful to not wake Steve.

Giving up on a restful night sleep Bucky got out of bed, moving to the living room to do some work. Arriving to the destination, he take his designated chair, a lonesome arm chair. He grabs maps of the town, pens, note pad and other essentials for the job at hand.

Without realising he picks up Steve’s drawing book, making a smile appear on his face, flipping over the pages at each drawing, Bucky was often Steve’s muse for drawing, but in the newer pages were drawing of a woman.

His first thoughts went to Peggy, the first woman Steve ever loved, but these drawings were different, looking an awful lot like the neighbour, making Bucky have a sneaky thought of Steve having a thing for her.

He and Steve had been in a three way relationships before, mostly ending in good notes, he didn’t really oppose of the idea.

He was torn out of his thoughts by screaming.

“Bye, Mary” you wake off your last customer of the night.

It’s a little late, 8:30, and it’s already dark, then again it it winter, so of course it’s going to be darker earlier.

You’re quick to close up the store, you know the dangers of the dark. As soon as you double checked the doors were locked you rush to your car.

Watching the scenery past by, you let out a breath, it had been a horrid day at the cafe. Someone thought it was okay to yell at one of your employees, so you threatened the police and told them to leave.

They threaten you but you doubt they would do anything. Bucky had came in shortly after, you two had gotten close.

He has been coming in once every few days, one time he came in after volunteering at a soup kitchen, you offered to go next time with him. It was fun, you helped people, and one woman, Lucie, she was coming in with her three kids and she told you how she could barley afford her home, so you offered her a job at your cafe.

You had yet to meet Steve, the way Bucky described him made him sound like the most friendly person in town.

Making you’re way home you realise how actually dark it is, the sun had long gone down, and less people have been around, but there were a few cars, speaking of cars…you look in your rear view mirror, that car been behind you for a while.

You double check it, you see a blonde blob of hair and he waved to you with a friendly smile, you let the breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

It’s Steve

You loosen your grip on the wheel, not realising how tense you were.

The rest of the ride was was problem-free, as you park your car you notice Steve has four friends with him, he is also in the middle of the road.

When you get out the car you hear the door open, you look over to see Steve smile towards you, you try to smile back but you couldn’t, there’s a somewhat evil glint in his eyes.

“Hello Steve” you gulp.

His grin widens but doesn’t say anything as his friends get out the car, one of them is the man that yelled at one of your workers.

Your mouth gapes, stuck between closing and staying open.

“Steve…?” You try.

“That’s not Steve sweetheart” the man who you met earlier today responds.

You close you door and take a step back, watching them, all five of them are staring at you, you take a quick glance at the door before shooting off to try and get into your house before they can get you.

As you get to the door you feel someone grab your waist, pulling you back, you scream in response.

“Please-please, don’t hurt me!” You scream, the only people who can help you are in the house opposite you, as all you other neighbours are ages away. If you get out of this you’re going to talk how bad the housing placement is on Facebook.

“No,no,no” that’s the only word that comes out your mouth as he drags you by your arm to the car. Another man comes to grab your other arm as the man who was in your cafe comes on front of you.

“This is what you get when you disrespect hydra”

You struggle as he raises his arms, the next thing you know is the ground, as raised his arm again when a voice calls out.

“Brock! What the fuck!?” You look up to see Bucky running over without a shirt.

When Bucky gets over to you he sees your bloody nose, which has a small bit that has dribbled down.

“Barnes!” A man who was near the car yells over to Bucky, wrote running over to where the men are holding you.

The men let go of you the moment they see Bucky, you crawl away as soon as they do.

“Brock, what are you doing” Bucky asks when the man at the car comes over.

Brock took a quick look at you, then at bucky, no fear, no guilt, no nothing in his eyes, like he did it care what his friends could have done to you.

“They told me she stole grant’s car, Y’know, the one his dad gave him?” He seemed so unbothered by it, as if walking about the weather.

You look at one of the men who grabbed you, black hair and a sharp jaw line, you start to sweat when he slowly looks towards you. You try to wobble away as he takes a step towards you.

“Tell anyone about this, we’ll gut you” you shake as he slowly creeps away, Bucky and Brock still almost yelling at each other,

“We’ll discuss this later” Bucky hisses, looking at all their faces before nodding off, signalling for them to go.

They do as directed and scurry off as soon he was was looking at you. You looking at him, breathing heavily, not believing that happened.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” Bucky asks as he kneels down. You didn’t see him get this close to you, he’s very close to you, you could have probably been able to smell him if not for the bloody nose. You can’t help but blush when he gently cradles you face, getting a look at the damage of your nose.

You try and not sound like you’ve run a marathon, but you continue to pant.

“I-I don’t, don’t know why-“ you pant again, only to end up with tears in your eyes.

“Shhh, it’s okay darling” he shushes you, still holding your cheeks.

You sniffle as you nod. God, can’t I just act normal? For once?!

“You don’t have to speak, okay? You just gotta nod, can you do that?” You stare at him, shaking, not fully hearing him, you didn’t know how it when but…a ringing had been going on in your ear.

“Darling, do you understand?” He grips your cheeks slightly, getting your attention.

You shake your head up and down. It may seem silly but it seems like those men will come back if you did a single thing wrong.

“Y/n-y/n, darling, can I bring you to my house? I promise you, you’ll be safe. I’ll protect you”

You nod, your arms shaking as he helps you up. He pulls you to his side, his hand rests comfortably on your shoulder, guiding you across the street.

Jesus fucking Christ, why-what? Hydra, what even is that? That man…that rude man, he came into your shop just hours ago-and for what? To be rude? How did he find you? Jesus, what-

“Steve” you flinch as the sudden sound, not expecting it. You look around to see you’re inside Bucky’s house, with a blonde man at the top of the stairs.

She slowly looks to you, you feel your heart stop when your eyes meet. You quickly evert you eyes to the floor.

“Buck-” the blonde starts only to be cut off by brunette.

“Steve, darling, I promise I’ll explain later” he nods as Bucky practically drags me to a room.

You watch your feet as he guides you to a seat, a comfy one at that.

He takes a set opposite you. As he does you take a moment to appreciate the aesthetic of the room- well, it was more of a study, with book shelves filled with countless books and nick nacks.

“Doll” your eyes shoot over to meet Bucky’s.

“What happened? How did it start” you close your eyes, feeling a little bombarded with the questions.

“I-” you interrupt yourself with a gulp.

You try to think back, but it’s all fuzzy. You can’t make anything else.

“I-uh, can’t remember…” you stare wide eyed at Bucky, expecting him to get angry, but he does the complete opposite.

“It’s okay” he gives you a reassuring smile.

“I know you might be a little scared to go back home” you slowly meet his eyes before he continues “so I’m offering you to stay here for a few days”

Your eyes widen “y-you don’t need to do that”

“I insist”

You given him a small smile, “thanks buck”

“It’s okay, doll”

“Bucky, what’s wrong?” Steve askes as soon as Bucky got into their shared room.

Bucky was previously showing you to the room where you’d be staying.

“Brock. Him and some of his friends attacked her”

Steve looks at Bucky in confusion.

“Brock? Why did he attack her?”

Bucky walks towards a desk before responding, “I don’t know, I didn’t get anything about of him” Bucky tells him as he sits in the seat, undoing his tie.

They share a look in the mirror before Steve gives him a small smirk.

“You’re gonna beat the shit out of him, arnt you?” They share a smirk.

“I don’t like him, and he hurt…her” the joking atmosphere changed to a tension one. Bucky had really grown attached to you.

“Just don’t do it now, she needs you”

Bucky gives him a hum, nodding.

“She is cute up close” Steve gives a little chuckles before leaving the room to get ready for bed

AHhHh, I sorry haven’t updated in a while, schools been hectic, and I’ve got an practical exam coming up next month, I’ll try and update more.

ALSO HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE hope you have a good start of the year

Tag list

@hannahsapeach @zareen165 @wandas-love @valsworldofcreativity

[es-kay-zee]

Backseat | Lee Know x Reader

genre: absolutely filthy smut

warnings: brat tamer! idol, sub! reader, afab reader, masturbation, choking, hair pulling, marking, handcuffs, pet names, degradation, praise (brief), humiliation, swearing, overstimulation, impact play, oral sex, interfemoral sex, fingering, use of the colour system. this is written under the assumption that all kinky acts performed have been discussed many times prior. consent is important and limits should always be discussed with any partner

requested: nope, this came from my own perverted mind

word count: 5.1k

taglist: @bxngchxn @jisungsplatforms​ @etherealeeknow​ 

a/n: welp, i definitely went overboard on this. count this as my apology for the angst lately. this is absolutely disgusting filth and i hope you enjoy :) this also isn’t proofread (i say like i’ve proofread anything i’ve written) so if you see any mistakes feel free to let me know and i’ll fix it :) also i was kidding when i said i'd finish this at 5am but it's literally 5.03am so that's a bit funny lol

 ____________________

To say you were annoyed with Minho would be only somewhat accurate. Frustrated was probably a better word. He’d been teasing you the entire time you were both out for dinner with your parents, spending a large portion of the time with his hand resting on your inner thigh. His touch had you on edge all night, especially when his fingers would occasionally migrate upwards, slowly stroking at your clothed sex.

He always seemed to do it while you were talking, catching you off guard each and every time. More than once your voice was cut off with a quiet whine and you had to come up with some excuse to your parents. You’re not sure how much they actually believed your measly excuses, but they didn’t question you further, probably not wanting to know what their child was actually up to.

Once dinner is over, and you’ve said goodbye to your parents, you and Minho head towards his car. You don’t speak to him the entire way, frustrated with him for having the audacity to tease you in front of your family. You weren’t truly upset with him, and he was aware of this. You were just embarrassed.

Finally reaching the car, Minho unlocks it and opens the passengers-side door, holding it open for you. But you weren’t about to ignore his earlier actions, wanting to play on your annoyance for one end goal in mind; being pounded into the mattress when you get home. And so, choosing your first act of defiance, you step past Minho and get into the backseat, slamming the car door behind you.

Minho huffs, rolling his eyes at your childish move. He closes the passenger door, walking around the car and climbing into the driver’s seat. The engine rumbles to life and Minho pulls out of the car park, beginning the 30 minute drive to your shared home.

You sit in silence, ignoring the glances from Minho in the rear-view mirror. It’s obvious that your act of climbing into the backseat has irked him, but you want to continue winding him up further. A devilish idea pops into your mind; the perfect way to tease him in return. You finally look forwards, making eye contact with Minho’s reflection. You smirk at him, and his eyebrows knit together in confusion, wondering what you’re planning to do.

You don’t leave him wondering for too long, propping one of your legs up on the car seat next to you, dress rising and putting your underwear clad pussy on display for Minho to see. You watch as his eyes flick downwards, quickly looking back up as he realises what you’re about to do.

“Don’t you dare. You know the rules,” he warns, his voice dark and threatening.

All his words achieve is making you needier. You say nothing, just continuing to stare at Minho in the mirror, as you bring one of your hands down, using your middle finger to rub circles against your clit. The small touch has you whining, the combination of Minho’s earlier teasing and the tense atmosphere in the car mixing to make you extra sensitive.

Your breathing slowly begins to pick up as your arousal grows, beginning to soak through the flimsy fabric of your lacy underwear. Your other hand comes up to your breast, groping yourself over your dress. Minho watches your brazen display, making sure to keep a watch on the road in front of him as well. You partly expect him to speed up, rushing to get you home and teach you a lesson, but he doesn’t. He stays steadily at the speed limit, not even once going over. He wants to drag this out. He wants to see just how far you’ll go with your little act.

And you’re more than willing to show him.

You slide your underwear to the side, quickly sliding one of your digits into your slick walls. Minho adjusts his rear-view mirror, positioning it to where he has a good view of your lower half. He watches the way you pump your fingers in and out of your pussy, curling the digits against your sweet spot. You exaggerate your moans, knowing how much Minho loves to hear you. And all you want is to get him as worked up as he made you.

The hand working on your breast slides down the front of your dress, and you pinch one of your buds, tugging gently before pulling your hand away and sliding it down to your clit. You press the pad of your middle finger against the nub, rubbing against it just as you were before while your other handworks your core. The combined simulation has you nearing your peak, your body beginning to tingle in just the way that it does when you’re close.

Minho swallows, trying to supress his groans at your actions. Your moans rise in pitch, turning into desperate whines as you try to push yourself over that edge and into bliss. You rub faster against your clit, but what is the true catalyst for your release, is the moment you make eye contact with Minho again. His eyes are dark, darker than you’ve ever seen before. And they hold a conflicting look, simultaneously begging to see you cum on your own fingers and warning you to stop breaking the rules.

The moment your eyes meet his in that mirror, you cum, body shaking as you continue fingering yourself through your orgasm, riding out your own high. You only pull your fingers from your fluttering walls once you’ve stopped trembling with pleasure, your body falling slump against the seat. Your heavy pants are the only sound in the car as you recover from your orgasm.

Another thought pops into your head. You’ve already come this far, what’s one more daring act? You bring your slick coated fingers to your lips, staring down Minho as you suck on them. Your tongue dances around your digits as you clean them of all of your juices. Only once your fingers are clean, do you pull them from your lips with a dull pop.

You pull your attention away from Minho, instead facing the window. Your breath hitches as you realise you’re only a few streets away from your shared home. The knowledge that punishment for your daring actions is only minutes away fills you with an excited fear, your pussy already trying clench around nothing.

Minho remains silent, no longer looking in your direction at all as he rounds the final corner before pulling into the driveway. He turns the car off, still not saying anything as he climbs out of the vehicle. He opens your door for you. Part of you want to remain defiant and exit via the other rear door, but you know better. You’ve pushed things far enough. You climb out the door that he’s holding open, swallowing dryly when he closes it gently. His actions are calm, too calm, and your mind whirls with the possibilities of what he has in store for you.

He locks the car and you both walk towards the house. You’re expecting him to do something as soon as the front door closes behind you both, but he doesn’t. He’s still too calm. He hangs the keys up on the key hook and takes his shoes off. You take yours off as well, watching him the entire time for any hint of what’s to come. You get nothing.

He starts to make his way upstairs towards your shared bedroom, and you know to follow him without him even saying or signalling for you to. The walk to the bedroom feels as if it drags on for hours, your heart drumming loudly in your ears, the sound of Minho’s footsteps seemingly echoing off the walls around you. Your hands grow clammy as the nerves truly set in, but more than nervous, you feel excited. This is exactly what you wanted. You wanted the rush that being a brat provides, pushing all the right buttons to get exactly what you want from Minho. It’s been too long since you’ve been absolutely used, and you’re more than ready for the fun that’s about to ensue.

Minho walks into the bedroom, you trailing closely behind. He stops at the door and you step past him. He closes the door, something he doesn’t normally do, and you know you’re in for the time of your life.

“Strip.”

The sound of his voice startles you, the nerves having you on edge. You stare at Minho for a moment, eyes wide while your brain process what he said.

“Don’t make me repeat myself.”

Authoritative. That’s the best word to describe the tone of his voice. Strong, commanding, it leaves no room for arguing, and you find yourself doing exactly as told. Even as your dress hits the floor, lacy lingerie joining it, Minho still doesn’t look at you. Instead, he’s busy rolling the sleeves of his dress shirt up. His movements are languid, lazy, he’s taking his sweet time getting to you.

You sit yourself down on the edge of the bed with a huff, impatience getting the better of you. Even the view of Minho’s exposed forearms isn’t enough to keep complacent for a moment longer, and the sound of your huff is what finally makes him look at you for the first time since you orgasmed in the car.

His eyes are dark again, and it’s as if they bore into your very soul. He takes a step towards your sitting figure, unbuttoning one of his top buttons. If you were to ask him why he undid the button, he’d say it was to allow himself some more breathing room. But you both knew that the real answer is that it’s for show.

He stands directly in front of you and reaches one hand towards you. You flinch back slightly, not knowing what to expect after earlier events. He pauses, waiting for you to move back forwards, and it’s only when you do that he continues moving. He places his hand on the top of your head, gently stroking your hair.

The tug is unexpected. He waits just long enough for you let your guard down before he grabs a fist full of your hair and pulls. Hard. Your scalp stings, but you love it. The yank draws a whimper from your lips, and Minho smirks almost evilly at the sound. He holds you by your hair, head tilted backwards as he stares you in the eye.

“I wonder what I’m going to do with a whore like you,” he says, voiced laced with something akin to feigned sympathy. Pretending to be sorry for you over the punishment that’s instore for you.

“No, you don’t,” you reply, both of you knowing full well that he’s not wondering at all. He has plans for what to do with you, he’d had almost the entire car ride to plan.

“You’re right,” he admits. A small chuckle leaves his pretty lips as he still stares down at you. “Now get up.”

He releases your hair, and you slowly stand up. He switches places with you, sitting himself where you previously were while you stand before him. He taps his thigh with his index finger, and you know what he’s telling you to do. You straddle the toned muscle, lowering your hips until your pussy is resting against the fabric of his pants.

Your hands rest upon Minho’s shoulders while he leans backwards, his arms propping his body upright. You stay still, waiting for his go-ahead before you start grinding against his thigh. He doesn’t give it. Instead, he attaches his lips to the column of your throat, sucking harshly. He drags his teeth against your skin, making you shiver at the sensation. Only when the entire expanse of your throat and chest is covered in marks does he give you the nod to start riding his thigh.

The first drag of your hips has your body shuddering, the pressure against your clit delicious. None of the following grinds feels as good as the initial one, they feel great but it’s just not quite as electrifying. Minho leans forward, bringing one of his hands up to your face. He prods at your lips, prompting you to part them. He slides his index and middle fingers into your mouth, reaching as far back as he can and pressing down on your tongue, aggravating your gag reflex.

You choke on his fingers and all he does is chuckle, sliding his fingers out of your mouth. He moves his hand down, wrapping it around your throat and squeezing. The restriction to your airflow is euphoric, it drives you closer to your release. You adjust your leg, and your knee lightly grazes Minho’s bulge.

Your eyes widen slightly, it hadn’t considered just how hard your actions would make him. He hisses quietly at the accidental contact and you smirk. You know you shouldn’t do it, but what can you say? It’s too much fun being a brat. One of your hand moves south, cupping Minho’s constricted cock. He snaps. His other hand comes up and all you can register is the sting of your cheek seconds after his palm strikes against it. You’re still in slight shock when his grip on your throat tightens and he pushes your body away, forcing you off of him, only releasing your throat once you’ve slipped out of reach.

“Now you’ve broken the number 1 and number 2 rule.” The look in his eyes is lethal, you’ve broken the two most important rules all in one night. That’s a first. Usually, you could eventually persuade Minho to give in to what you want despite being a brat, but you had a chilling feeling that you wouldn’t get your way this time. “Kneel.”

Not wanting to make things worse for yourself, you drop to your knees. You feel small, Minho leaning over you making you feel like his prey. And you absolutely loved it. He grabs your chin between his index finger and thumb, tilting your face up towards him as he leans in close to your face.

“I’m gonna make you wish you were never a brat.”

The words seep into your core, his voice laced with a sweet poison and you know; you have to be good from here on out. It’s not often that just a sentence alone can stop your bratty behaviour for the night, but the way he says the words is nothing short of a warning that you’re not going to get what you want.

“But first, you made a mess on my pants,” he lets go of your chin, allowing you to look down and see the wet patch that your slick left behind on the fabric. “And you’re gonna clean it up.”

Your eyes shoot back upwards to look Minho in the face, unsure of exactly what he means. And he chuckles sinisterly at your confusion, absolutely loving that you don’t know what’s coming.

“Lick it clean.”

Your face immediately begins to burn as the realisation of what he said sets in. He wants you to lick your juices from his pants. You both know that your slick has soaked into the fabric and that you licking it will only cause a bigger mess, but that’s not what this is about. Minho wants to humiliate you. He wants you to be ashamed, for your face to burn in embarrassment as you do something so dirty as licking the mess you created from his pants.

And it’s working.

You’re slow to move closer to him, balancing yourself on your knees with one hand on his clean thigh and the other on the bed next to his other leg. You look Minho in the eye, silently begging him to not make you do something so humiliating, all he does in response is place a hand on the back of your head and roughly push your face closer to the mess. He doesn’t let go until your tongue is pressing flat against his pants, licking a stipe up the pre-existing wet patch. It’s faint, the taste of yourself, but the filthiness of the act has you moaning. You try to keep quiet, not wanting the further embarrassment, but Minho already heard you.

“Pathetic,” he spits out, and you moan again at the degradation.

You continue licking at his pants, and it’s not long before all you can taste is the fabric itself. Minho doesn’t care, however, as he doesn’t signal for you to stop. He’s thriving off of this, you can tell from the twitch of his bulge that he’s loving the sight in front of him. He lets you continue for a few more moments, before pulling your face away by your hair.

“Get on the bed,” he orders, and you do just that, scrambling to your feet and climbing on the bed.

You lie in the middle, your head resting against the pillows as you watch Minho stand up. He crawls up the bed until he’s hovering over you, and you feel so small under him. You’re caged between his arms but there’s nowhere else you’d rather be. You don’t think, just wanting to get this show on the road. You reach up, grasping one of his shirt’s buttons in your fingers. Minho is quick to react, grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head.

“You don’t fucking learn, do you?” He holds your wrists together with one hand, his grip none too gentle, as he glares down at you. You can’t help but cower under his glare, making you feel even smaller.

Without letting go, he leans over to his bedside table, opening the draw and reaching into it. You’re too busy staring at his face to register what he’s retrieving, but when you feel the cold metal and hear the steady clicking sounds of the cuffs closing around your wrists, your attention snaps above your head. He cuffs one wrist, sliding the connecting chain around the metal bar at the head of the bed before cuffing your other wrist.

You tug against the restraint, testing the limits of your reach. The way the metal digs into your skin makes you whimper, but you love it. Minho slowly runs his hands down your sides, groping at your thighs. His fingertips leave goosebumps in their wake, making you shiver in anticipation. He slowly moves his body down your own, until his face is right in front of your dripping core.

He places sloppy kisses to the insides of your thighs, occasionally sucking harshly on the skin before continuing kissing. You moan at the feeling, wanting to tangle your fingers in his hair and bring his lips to your clit. But you can’t. You’re subjected to Minho’s unwavering patience as you’re squirming under him. A harsh smack to the flesh of your inner thigh has you stilling, the small burn of the contact causing you to clench around nothing.

“Stop moving.” He goes back to his teasing touches, and you struggle to remain still. The tension in your lower half building to an almost unmanageable extreme.

“P-please.” The beg leaves your lips before you can stop yourself, and you can feel Minho’s smirk against your skin.

“Please what? What do you want me to do?”

“Please make me c-cum,” you whisper, completely embarrassed to be begging for anything from Minho. You expect him to laugh at you, to tell you that you’re not going to be cumming at all tonight as your punishment for acting up. But he doesn’t. He says something worse.

“Don’t worry, kitten. You’ll get to cum soon enough.”

It’s the way he says it and you finally know what he has planned. Overstimulation. Overstimulation isn’t one of your favourite things. You didn’t particularly love it, nor did you hate it. You and Minho had had the conversation a few times about what sort of punishments are allowed. Overstimulation had come up a couple times as something that you don’t love but can tolerate enough to allow as a punishment. He’d asked you a few times if you were sure, wanting confirmation that you weren’t going to allow something that you didn’t want. You’d assured him, saying that you liked it enough that you’ll let him do it on occasion.

That’s probably why he chose this particular punishment. You’ve been a major brat and while it’s got to be something you at least enjoy; it’s still meant to be a punishment.  

There’s no warning before his lips attach to your clit, immediately sucking harshly against the nub. Your hands immediately try to grip his hair, but they can’t. You whine, trying desperately not to buck your hips up further into Minho’s face as he licks and sucks at your folds.

    The metal digs further into your skin, uncomfortable, barely bordering on painful, but still entirely tolerable. It doesn’t take long. In fact, it’s embarrassing just how quickly he brings you to the brink of pleasure, dangling over the precipice’s edge, ready to tumble over into your second orgasm of the day. Minho keeps you there, dangling off that ledge just because he can. It’s one of his favourite things to do, to make that knot in your stomach tighten impossibly tight but not give you enough to let it unravel.

He’d done this to you so many times, he’s almost perfected his technique. Applying pressure that’s a fraction too soft in a spot that’s a fraction off from exactly where you need it. He loves toying with you, seeing just how far he can push you before letting you cum.

The bedroom is noisy, filled with the clank of the handcuffs’ chain against the metal bedframe, your desperate moans and Minho’s tongue lapping at your dripping folds. All the combined sounds mix together to create a filthy concoction that truly adds to the vibe of the night’s events. It’s arousing. But the only sound you can focus on is your heartbeat thrumming in your ears as Minho finally pushes you over the edge, allowing you to cum. Your eyes squeeze shut, and your body convulses with the pleasure, your orgasm more intense than any you could provide yourself.

Minho’s mouth doesn’t let up, not even after you’ve finally come back down from your high. The tingles of pain brought about by the overstimulation are almost overwhelming, but you don’t want to stop. You’re enjoying this more than you thought you would. But there’s no way you’ll tell Minho that; he’d never wipe the smirk off his face if you did.

He keeps going, adding his fingers to work your walls alongside his mouth. Your back arches, your body non-stop shaking, and by your fourth orgasm, there’s nothing you can do to stop the tears from flowing down your cheeks. Minho looks up at your face, noting the fucked out expression and tear stains, and pauses.

“Colour?” he asks, voice soft and gentle for the first time since dinner.

Your brain is foggy, clouded over as you try to think, contemplating what to respond.

“Y-yellow,” you say, deciding it’s better to give yourself a moment for your brain to clear.

Minho pulls his fingers from your core in response, placing sweet kisses along your thighs, his hands rubbing your sides soothingly while he waits for your go-ahead to continue. It’s a couple minutes before you give him the nod. He asks you once, twice, if you’re sure. The last thing he would ever want is to do something when you’re not ready or don’t want to.

“I’m sure,” you say, smiling at him softly.

“Okay, just one more, kitten. You can do that for me, can’t you?”

Any words you were going to say are immediately replaced with another moan as his lips reattach to your clit, his fingers delving deep into your walls once again. You’re sensitive. Far more sensitive than you’ve ever been before. And the fact that it only takes a minute for you to reach your release again just adds to all the humiliation you’ve experienced in the course of a single evening.

Just as he said he would, Minho pulls away once you’ve recovered from your orgasm, sliding up your body and connecting his lips with yours. His swipes his tongue across your bottom lip before delving into your mouth. You can taste yourself on him and you love it. You moan softly into the kiss, but it doesn’t last nearly as long as you would’ve liked before Minho is pulling away and climbing off the bed. You whine at the loss, but quickly shut up as you watch him finally undress. He undoes his buttons slowly, your eyes following his every move with such desperate desire. He tosses his shirt to the side, quickly ridding himself of his pants and underwear as well. He hisses as the cold air hits his throbbing cock, leaking a small amount of precum. Mentally, he had all the patience in the world to drag this out. But physically he was aching for a release. He climbs back onto the bed, quickly manhandling you so that you’re flipped over, arms crossed at the wrist, further restricting the amount of movement you have. He runs his hands over your ass cheeks, delivering a few well placed smacks to each before gripping your hips tightly. He lifts them up so that you’re laying there with your ass in the air and your face pressing into the pillows.

He reaches a hand down between your legs, gathering some of your wetness on his fingers. He wraps his slick covered hand around his cock, pumping himself slowly, coating his length in a mixture of your wetness and his precum.

“You know, if you’d been good, you’d actually be getting fucked tonight,” Minho says, feigning sympathy.

Your head snaps to face him as much as your position allows you to, your eyes wide as you realise what he’s just said. He chuckles almost sadistically at the look of confusion on your face.

“B-but-”

“No buts, kitten. You know that your actions have consequences.”

You whine at that, but you know better than to argue with him. You know that if you try to talk him into fucking you, then he’ll just make sure you don’t get a dicking down for a whole month. And that would be a nightmare.

He slowly drapes himself over you, holding himself up with one arm while he places his cock between your thighs, resting against your pussy. He uses his legs to push yours together, effectively sandwiching his cock at a pressure he desires. You whine again, your throbbing cunt aching for him to be inside, but you know you’re not going to get it.

Minho slowly begins to thrust, and the drag of his cock against your slit feels better that you expected it to. It feels good, nowhere near as good as if he were actually inside you, but still good nonetheless. He slowly starts to speed up, chasing his high that he’s been putting off all night. The soft grunts that leave his lips are music to your ears. You moan, as much as you love having Minho pounding into you, having him to this is still so much fun.

He continues to thrust, and you can tell he’s already getting close. All the build up to this moment had him painfully hard so it’s no surprise that he’s already near his end. What is surprising, however, is that you’re near your finish as well. You never would have expected his actions to feel this good and it has the knot in your stomach tightening. And Minho can tell from the pitch of your moans.

He adjusts his hips so that he’s rubbing against your slit harder, the head of his cock applying just enough pressure to your clit every time he thrusts forwards. The extra sensation is what does it for you, causing you to cum one final time with a particularly loud moan.

“You’re such a slut, cumming just from this,” he says breathlessly. He’s not far behind you, the feeling of your shaking thighs enough to push him over the edge. He thrusts once, twice more before cumming with a loud groan, burying his face into the back of your shoulder.

He takes a moment to recover before pulling away, slowly standing up and setting about cleaning you up. Your body feels heavy as he moves around you, and you barely notice him carefully unlocking the handcuffs and placing your arms on the bed. Hardly registering him moving you under the covers. He grabs a tissue, quickly wiping his cum from the top of the covers before ultimately deciding to just put it in the washing machine in the morning. He looks at you, smiling at your tired form. As much as he loves having kinky fun with you, he loves this more; being able to see you all sleepy and soft. It’s adorable.

He walks to his set of draws, quietly pulling out a pair of underwear and pulling them on. He turns back to you just as you lazily open your eyes. He heads back over to you, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Cuddles?” you ask quietly, looking at him hopefully.

“Of course, my love. I’ll just grab you a glass of water for the morning and then I’ll be right back, okay?”

You nod and he stands, quickly heading out to the kitchen and rushing back, glass of water in hand. Even though he’s gone for barely longer than a minute, you’re almost asleep when he returns. He places the glass on your bedside table before quickly climbing into the bed next to you. He pulls you into his chest, slowly running his fingers through your hair soothingly.

It’s nice, how peaceful the moment is, and it has you falling asleep in mere seconds. Minho smiles when he hears your quiet snores. He reaches over to grab his phone, being careful not to jostle you too much and he sets himself an alarm for a reasonable time in the morning while still making sure it’ll go off before you get up. He wants to make sure he gets up first so that he can make you breakfast for when you awaken. Only when he sets the alarm and puts his phone back down does he finally allow himself to close his eyes and fall into a peaceful sleep, holding you in his arms.

[jae-canikeepyou]

| adjacent | j.jh

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

word count: 18k+ (unedited & not proof read)

summary: jaehyun turns into a golden retriever whenever the day reaches the most beautiful time; golden hour. a secret he kept his entire life & always wonders how long he could keep it, especially when you suddenly showed up.

genre: au + golden retriever!jaehyun + hs!nct

a/n: idk what came to me as i brainstormed this but by now, nctzens and valentines should know jaehyun’s a golden retriever :3 so i decided to write a plot for this adorable fact T^T heavily inspired with fruits basket and beauty & the beast! i really hope you’ll like it. lmk what you think! enjoy reading lovelies! ~j

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

time was ticking real quick.

he rushed through the bustling people, avoiding the narrow crowds and jay-walked countless pedestrian crossings. he needed to hide. no one should see him transform. there was little time left. why was he so careless each time this happened? his parents and younger brother warned him to be alert at all times. did he listen? no, never did. they compared him to a rock— hard headed and stubborn. but all he ever wanted was to be free.

curses! just a little more, a few metres more! he pant as he tried to catch air. he felt his flesh tingling, his senses doubling and tripling. jaehyun peddled as fast as he could, at least reach the line of bushes by the basketball court. hopping over the plants, he threw his bag aside and jumped off his bike before bracing for the fall.

the now broken bell sounded horrible as jaehyun’s brother caught up to him with his skateboard. “dad’s gonna kill you if you ask for another bike for your birthday.” he sighed looking at the loosened chain while picking up the single-track vehicle and the scattered clothes.

jaehyun transformed to a golden retriever puppy and struggled to come out of the bushes with his tiny paws and body. when he succeeded, he scratched the back of his ears to brush off the leaves stuck to them. “won’t happen, sungchan. i’ve already saved up enough by then. i’m not gonna burden dad for my wants.”

sungchan pressed the bridge of his nose. “you’re kinda being a burden now.” he picked the animal— his brother— up and put him inside his coat, as well as the belongings on the ground. he hopped on the bike and headed towards jaehyun’s campus.

“what did you say?” jaehyun barked tried opening the zipper from the inside of sungchan’s coat.

“nothing.” the younger excused. “but can i have your bike if you actually plan to get a new one?”

“ugh just bring me to the court. i’ll be late for my morning practice.”

the brothers were able to communicate telepathically as they’re related and were both cursed. instead of golden hour, sungchan transforms during the blue hour, which occured at twilight. tracing back to their ancestors, all were cursed for unknown inexplainable circumstances. they tried breaking it with all they could. every idea ended a failure. so they had to live through it, adjust, adapt and be alert.

they bumped into ten, kun and jungwoo, who were doing warm-ups and they simultaneously trailed their eyes and heads towards the jung brothers. seeing the huge pouch on sungchan’s stomach area, they all cracked up and checked the time. “oh yeah, it’s sunrise.” jungwoo spun the ball on his pointer finger.

ten grabbed the pup with one hand and jaehyun barked at him but he couldn’t understand a thing. although he was confused, he continued to carry him in his palm because jaehyun’s response was funny. “what is he trying to say?” he chuckled and poked the pup’s snout.

“he said ‘it hurts. put me down idiot’. i have to be honest with you hyung. holding us by the back of the neck really hurts.” unlike his brother, he was rather calm and collected despite already imagining the pain.

“you’re a blue holland lop bunny. it’s normal to carry you like this too right?” ten showed the pup to sungchan.

kun facepalmed at the question and took jaehyun. “no dimwit it’s not normal. sorry jae. you know he just likes teasing your puppy form.”

“‘wait until i turn back’- ugh seriously do i really have to translate hyung’s words every time?” sungchan gave jaehyun’s clothes and bike to jungwoo. “you know what to do when he transforms back yeah?”

they nodded and upon seeing the kid leave and headed towards his campus, jaehyun couldn’t wait to turn human. he would always beat ten up almost immediately— sometimes forgetting that he was naked. for the dudes it was alright. the problem was if he was with girls, though he hasn’t encountered anyone so far. he hoped he didn’t have to.

the harsh drills from basketball practice already sucked the energy out of jaehyun. not only that it was physically tiring, transforming into a dog twice a day before that have doubled the strain. then him transforming back would cause migraines and painful joints, as they were the aftermath of the curse. he had to keep his title of m.v.p and captain since the told them there was a possibility of him of having a scholarship for college. he couldn’t let a minor pain hinder that chance. not ever.

however, ten and the others could read his suffering. to them it was obvious through his exhales and slowing speed. hiding it was of no use. jungwoo ruffled his hair with a clean towel after shower. “can’t you just be like that dog in the movie ‘up’? have a collar that translates barks into actual language?”

jaehyun rolled his eyes and wore his black t-shirt. “it’s a damn movie, jungwoo. the world might’ve evolved and advanced in technology and even if they were to exist they’d be expensive. can’t afford that.”

“you sound negative, don’t you have any hope at all?” kun joined the conversation.

“never had any. stopping this curse is impossible. it’s been generations. my dad’s still suffering too. i have to find a way.” he fixed his black cap in front of a mirror.

but he knew there wasn’t. silence loomed above them as the team struggled to continue the topic. they tried not to bring it up yet each time they did, it always ended awkwardly and badly. it was either they riled jaehyun’s mood— mostly ten— or jaehyun himself was building his own raincloud by sulking about it and not looking at the bright side.

how ironic it was, he thought. generally speaking, even though being golden had good intentions and the breed was meant to bring happiness to others, he felt the total opposite. if he had to describe it, it was all insecurity, lowered his self-esteem and hopelessness only increased over the years as he grew.

thinking about it, he slammed the locker a little too hard that its components caused it to bounce back.. and also added to fuel of his anger. “break that again you’ll be in the coach’s office.” kun tied his shoelaces and the others agreed.

“my dad is the coach, what do you mean?” he questioned at the stupidity.

“you didn’t show up the last time it broke. we got the punished in your stead. uncle wasn’t happy.” ten got out of the showers last, a towel was wrapped around his waist before the younger ones were scarred for a second.

“it was sunset and i transformed! of all people dad’s supposed to understand! i-” jaehyun rubbed his face quite agressively and headed straight outside.

“oi i’m still changing! wait up!”

jaehyun kicked the bike’s stand attached to the rear wheel. he and his father didn’t have the best relationship compared with other kids, but he could say that it was better than the relationship he had with his mother. she loved her little family, yet over time the curse grew onto her. her husband would turn into a werewolf at full moon. and until now, even though that happened once month, she thought a part of him wasn’t the same person she loved before. even more so, when her sons were just the same as him.

your mom’s delusional! she doesn’t love us! she fears us!

that feeling stayed in the boys’ mind until they were old and mature enough to comprehend the situation they’re in. why couldn’t she love them like any mom would? she was no different from an animal mother abandoning her calf/pup just because they were or had defects.

mr. jung tried his best to be the perfect father, for only he understood what his two sons were going through, as they might go through decades with it, just like he was. jaehyun still remembered his first transformation, he only had puppy paws, but that was a sign to mr. jung that he indeed inherited the curse. when sungchan grew a tail at a fine age of one, their father gave up his 9-5 hour office job to tend the boys. and that was before he became jaehyun’s basketball coach. now he could monitor them at a close range.

much to jaehyun’s dismay and for that reason, he felt more caged and overprotected.

—

“y/n! coach’s looking for you!” your classmate called.

no.. you groaned. again?..

it was already after school hours. you slouched on your desk as you covered your ears, remembering the errands he asked you to do previously. you didn’t know why, but ever since you had detention because you refused to run a 1600m marathon for an assessment, seemed like the other punishment was that he passed his job to you. that was a month ago, and today was the tenth time.

but curious as you were to find answers, you brushed it off and tried not to show any remorse. it’s all for conduct, you kept telling yourself. the whistle echoed the entire hallway and jolting you up in your seat. “okay, okay! hold on!” you yelled from the back of the classroom.

as coach jung stood rather comfortably outside the room, he gestured you to walk faster with a dimpled smile. “y/n! took you approximately three minutes to walk here.” he laughed and handed you several files and a zipper folder.

“thanks for counting?..” you replied with a confused and questioning tone. “coach, what’s this?”

“all school sports teams will have an annual retreat before their playoff seasons. i need a representing manager since ours was admitted to a hospital just today.” he pointed at the list. you followed his finger and it landed on your name.

“sounds like to me it’s more practice. and you want me to go because?” you raised your brows. he asked you to follow him to the gymnasium, in which it was making you recall all those extra detention after school.

“to make up with all of the p.e assessments you ‘purposely’ missed.” he said proudly while looking at his team doing drills. but he didn’t get any response from you. when he looked on his side, you were gone and ran across the basketball gym. “y/f/n!”

you squealed as embarrassment crawled your entire body. not only were you escaping from coach, you were disrupting the team’s practice and hitting couple of duffel bags and water bottles. “ah! sorry! coming through!”

*whistles* “after her!” coach jung’s voice added an extra chill to your spine.

“ugh why us?” ten groaned with sore muscles as coach gestured to them widely.

“just go.” kun panted.

then you heard a several footsteps turn into drums until they sounded a stampede. you jumped on your toes as you passed the line of showers cubicles. good thing you haven’t seen a naked man, or else you’d faint without knowing. you turned around and went straight ahead then to your right, and hid in a random room. the echoing voices and squeaking friction between shoes and waxed floors were cut to a silence, like your ears were muffled instantly.

your wobbly legs were tired and you were sighing in exhaustion and crouched down against the door. great, i’ll stay out of their sight- “what are you doing here?” you heard a low voice and froze on the spot. “only members of the basketball team can access the meeting room.”

that sounded like the captain.

“did you hear what i just said?” he raised his brows. you slowly lifted your eyes from his shoes to his legs, then to his built and face. “well if you’re a nobody you might as well leave before coach arrives. you interrupted my recording-”

“i heard you jung jaehyun.” you tsked and realised you had the name list on your hand. “ah, as a matter of fact, i can be here because i am part of the team. my name’s on the list.” you grabbed a pen and ticked the empty box on the paper.

what are you saying, stupid?!

“uh-huh..” jaehyun trailed, putting down his camera.

“y-yeah!” you stuttered. “you heard me.”

the door shook by the loud knocks from the other side. on the frosted window, you could see four figures. orange and black jerseys, they must be the team members. “ah! the door’s locked! she’s definitely in here coach!” one said.

“i’ll toss you the keys!” he yelled. oh crap. you were caught in between. your heart patterned with the knocks.

“you look terrified after hearing coach, y/n.” the chair squeaked from the weight. “i’m guessing you’re that troublesome student he has a hard time dealing with recently?”

of course captain knows you. great reputation you have, y/n.

“so? what’s your point?” you stood up to see his amused grin.

“say hello to a term’s detention.” jaehyun waved as the door swung open, revealing ten, kun, jungwoo and.. the coach.

you sighed heavily and dropped the papers. the coach crossed his arms and you lowered your head a little. “you plan to escape again y/n? then i shouldn’t hear any excuses from you. you’ll join us for the twelve day retreat. period.” he picked the papers up and wrote something.

“sir i can’t be with a bunch of jocks for that long!” your whine had the captain blocking his ears. “i have debate finals to attend to.”

jaehyun flinched at the high pitched sound and rolled his eyes. what was your deal? it was rude of you to suddenly barge into athlete’s quarters but judging them for that was even more rude of you. he had to shut you up at some point.

“so much excuses.” he played with his nails and to you he looked more amused than ever. you rolled your eyes at his chuckle and know he would target you from now on. “dad, y/n told me she’s ‘part of the team’.” he played his video that recorded your voice, clearly saying what jaehyun heard.

coach jung looked rather surprised, but his smile definitely screamed happy. “oh? that’s all i needed to hear. welcome, uh- temporarily. i’ll inform mrs. park about the situation.”

nononono- “i did this.” you were at a loss for words. “i won’t be able to compete in the debate.”

“yeah pretty much you made the wrong decision.” jaehyun stood to tower over you. “i’d like to see you suffer our drills-”

four knocks cut jaehyun off. “oh no, she’ll only do those for two days.”

you swifted your head in confusion, seeing coach jung wrote down your schedule on the white board. you were packed and it’s a lot worse than the actual assessment planned in school. “and what about the rest of the ten days?!” you exasperated that your hairtie snapped at the right moment, and your hair fell in sightful way.

“ooh that was hot.” ten commented in soft whisper, causing kun and jungwoo nudge him on the each side.

“she’ll be our manager for the remaining days, keep track of our drills and score points, or other extra things i needed a hand with while taeyang’s in the hospital.”

jaehyun rested his palms on his waist, swirling his tongue inside with a provoking gaze at you. “see if you can keep up, manager.” he chuckled.

you checked the time, it was nearing 5 p.m. “you know what, give me a day to process all this sport thing. it’s close to evening and i have to get going-”

“it’s evening already?” jaehyun cut you off as he looked outside the window.

the sun glistening at the distance while the sky showed a pretty ombré of warm colours. his senses doubled again and his whole body ached. he had to make you leave. it was already enough that his friends knew about his situation. there’d only be more trouble if you knew too.

“uh duh? the clock’s right there.” you pointed.

“hm, anyway you have to leave now.”

“sheesh i was going to anyway.” you rolled your eyes, but felt jaehyun’s palms behind your back. “hey stop pushing!”

“you’re too slow!” his tone changed. different than the usual because panic was what you felt from his palms. “quickly!”

the rest of the boys could tell you were pissed. they couldn’t understand why jaehyun had to make a fuss out of it when all he had to do was to kindly ask you. using force would only cause misunderstandings, like what’s happening now. “hey what’s your deal?!” you flicked his arms. “do you like to push people around? just because i’ll be with the team for the next two weeks, that doesn’t mean you could treat me like this already!”

“tsk so noisy! you’re wasting time! just leave would you?!” jaehyun turned you around towards the door.

this time you wouldn’t budge. “no jung jaehyun i need an explanation with this stupid attitude of yours!” you wriggled off of his hold, pushing him back with pats several times more that he stepped backwards.

“i don’t owe you an explanation!”

“you definitely do?!”

“why can’t you listen to what i say?”

“why can’t you stop being pushy, pushy?”

“you’re the one pushing me! time’s ticking y/n!”

the continuous back and forth of bickers and the war of pushing each other was an idiotic sight. your wrist was in jaehyun’s palms as he gripped you tighter. “i don’t care captain jerk! it wouldn’t bother you or hurt you to just give me one reason- and he slammed the door at my face! argh!”

jaehyun smirked wide and proudly knowing that he ‘won’ argument. silencing you was better than letting you see his other form. the boys stared him once he turned around to face them. “what?” he questioned,

“definitely not the right way to treat a girl.” they all said simultaneously.

“you know how bad it makes me feel when you all said it at the same time?” jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose.

he knew well enough that this wasn’t his usual self. he’s good friends with you despite being in different teams of the school. you both took literature as your electives. sometimes you’d let him copy your notes when he had matches or leave small appetisers and juice cartons when he was tired and vice versa.

but no matter how close you both were, he couldn’t afford to let you see his other self.

not just yet.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

waking up so early in the day to assist the team was way more annoying than birds chirping by your bedroom’s window. instead of hearing their tuneful tweets, you had to endure endless phone calls every minute. you couldn’t remember much from that day because you passed out. and the team didn’t look for you until yesterday.

coach jung waved to catch your attention, only to be greeted with your huge yawn and a disinterested face.

“ah there she is! c’mon now, i got the green light from mrs. park. she agreed that p.e is the only subject you’re likely to fail this semester, so she’s giving you a cool-off from the team and focus on here.”

“yep. heard you coach.” you tied up your hair, only listening to half of what he said. “where’s the captain?”

kun did few stretches & jumps, his expression mirrored the other two boys who were also doing the same. you had a feeling about this— their telepathic gaze and awkward silence. you took a basketball to pass it to ten. “is he still mad about me calling him a jerk? that was a few days ago and i didn’t expect him to be that sensitive.”

they laughed because they couldn’t deny his obvious trait. “he doesn’t show it but somehow you know he is.” ten passed the ball back to you. “but not this morning y/n. he’s late for.. another reason.”

you hopped to catch it yet you were a second late, and groaned as you had to run far to retrieve it. “uh-huh. nature calls in the morning, again?” you yelled.

“do you think she knows about jaehyun?” jungwoo asked the older ones. they eyed you rummaging in the bushes for the ball, later looking back at each other for answers, but no one knew how your mind worked. “it’s been five days and no word from her at all.”

“if she actually does, i guess she just doesn’t want to be involved? i think we can trust her for that.” kun drank from his bottle.

ten didn’t look convinced. “involved or not, we have to make sure she doesn’t tell anyone about jaehyun’s curse. keep an eye on her-”

“ah!” they heard your squeals and ruffles from the bushes. “guys look what i found!”

kun sighed when they saw you running back with a golden retriever puppy in your arms, taking back his words said earlier.

“uh-oh. that scream means she has no clue at all.” jungwoo brushed his hair up.

“this puppy is so cute! i wonder what it’s doing here? are you lost?” you hugged and sniffed into its fur and gosh it smelled like vanilla shampoo. there was a metal collar around its neck, the piece spelled “jj”. “aww it has a name!”

no matter how happy you looked from the boys, they couldn’t help but take a photo of you and ‘puppy’ jaehyun. they had to tell you before it was too late. the golden hour in the morning was shorter than sunset, so either they would tell you straight up, or let jaehyun transform back to human.

but guess what? they were too late. they shouldn’t have second-guessed.

what had happened was way beyond your comprehension. it was in an instant. all it felt in totality was that, you weren’t carrying a puppy anymore. you lost balance and the weight in your arms doubled or tripled, you couldn’t tell. but you knew you were falling backwards. was there to brace for impact? none.

you blinked several times from the orange sunrise blinding your vision from the window. slowly you got up to sit and soothe the pain. that hurt..

here’s the thing. remember you mentally told yourself you hoped you didn’t run into any naked boy in the basketball team’s showers? there you have it. you jinxed it. jaehyun’s figure was on top of yours and you knew he had no clothes on. oh goodness.

“hyung? you forgot your lunch box- oh.” sungchan barged in the scene and everyone could tell he sort of malfunctioned. he froze then facepalmed.

you took turns into looking at the embarrassed jaehyun and at the boys who whistled to avoid the numbers of questions you were going to ask.

kun quickly shielded your eyes where your doubts were showing in your face. and no matter how much thought hard, you just couldn’t believe it. with fear written all over you, you dusted your pants and hands reached kun’s arm to support your weight.

“oh so you shielded her eyes but not my body?!” jaehyun’s voice entered your ears and you swore there was a hint of puppy whimper.

“this is a dream.. right?..” you asked before you fainted.

sungchan managed to save you from the fall. “whoa! ah, i had a feeling something like this would happen.”

—

“was she always like that?” minnie took a peep of your classroom, her eyes showed confusion. “is she tired?”

lisa shrugged and in her innocence she pursed her lips. “i don’t know. she’s been sighing a lot for the past hour? i wanna ask her but it might be too personal.”

you could her them and they were wrong. it was nothing personal at all. you’ve been sighing because you didn’t know how it was possible but it just happened— right before your eyes. since then you hoped that science could explain but not even the smartest people could give you a conclusion. you’ve been called out from lessons that came in the day and not that you didn’t blame jaehyun.

because for one thing, he at least told you the truth and the answer to your question as to why he had to make you leave that day. you propped your chin on your palms from jaehyun’s warning: “tell anyone i swear i’ll make you run a hundred laps with no water breaks.”

but the other thing? he was naked. and that’s not something you could erase in your memories overnight.

you let out a small whine that led to minnie and lisa copying your position, obviously making fun of you. “seriously, not a good time.” you laid on the table and hid from them. “don’t ask me anything.”

minnie and lisa looked at each other as you were being unreasonable and already gotten them curious with your remark. they both grabbed each of your arm, tugging on your sleeves where they begged nonstop for you tell them what had happened. they knew it was about the basketball team.

since you started to train and be with them, you’ve never complained. because if you did, coach jung would add another exercise for you, in which you knew you couldn’t handle. broken bones and sore muscles awaited for you. so you chose not to utter a single sigh, but you were careless just now and there was no escaping from these best friends of yours.

“c’mon y/n! tell us the deets! you sighing could only mean one thing.. did someone confess to you?” minnie closed her eyes and a wide smile suddenly became shrieks of laughter when you facepalmed. “oh who in the basketball team confessed?” she singsonged.

it’s not really a confession, jaehyun being a golden puppy is a secret that was never meant to be revealed but i happened to see him transform-

“what if it’s not a guy? maybe two? or three? oh gosh this is like a reverse harem anime-” lisa began to hype an awful assumption but you covered her lips. and plus? her voice was loud and how embarrassing it would be when the rest of the class heard it.

you were already restless at their energy. “none you idiots. i was sighing because i didn’t know that people with dimples would be that attractive.” you tried to divert the topic.

“pfft you’re talking about jung jaehyun?” lisa raised her brows and grinned teasingly to get a reaction from you.

“no, i’m taking about coach jung.” you hit her arm.

“but jaehyun’s his carbon copy, so you’re basically saying he’s handsome too.” minnie quickly rebutted.

“i mean, coach’s the original face so he’s definitely more handsome-” you paused. shoot they nearly got you to a corner. “wait- why are we talking about this? i thought we’re talking about me.”

“ah you were paying attention to our conversation?” minnie’s eyes grew.

“you’re not telling us anything dimwit.” lisa hit you back.

couple of squeals echoed the corridor and your classroom door crowded with people. apparently jaehyun stood by the door frame and scanned the room looking for you. when he spotted you, his face bubbled up and literally glided his way to your seat. you could tell he was slightly fuming, but you didn’t know what reason. “y/f/n! come here for a second!” he grabbed your wrists and pulled you up from your chair.

you tried to catch up with his pace as he continued to pull you. “let me go!”

jaehyun did in fact let go of you, but he instead led you to hit your back against numerous lockers. the squeals didn’t stop there and how that you were the centre of attention amongst all of the students, you had endure this for a little while. he was staring into your soul, eyes piercing that could strain yours, you knew he was pissed about something.

he slammed his forearms at the space right above your head, then the screams of giddy began to grow louder. you managed to see your friends at the far end of the corridor. they were smiling and lisa mouthed ‘kabedon’, making you flustered than you already were. “what do you want?” you asked.

“i thought i made myself clear?” jaehyun smirked as he felt you quiver against his skin. he leaned lower that his whispers tickled your ear. “did you tell anyone? your friends?”

“i’m not gonna risk my health for some dumb secret.” you rolled your eyes and crossed arms.

“please it’s not like our training puts your life on jeopardy-” jaehyun butted back.

“it’s safe with me. if there’s anything you’re worried about, just look at your fanbase. you’re making them sad.” you sighed, walking away and through the girls who has been following jaehyun around.

jaehyun exhaled at a rather slow pace. he liked your reaction and was aware of their presence. and in order to shoo them away, he had to do what he did. he just hoped you’d notice that too. “see you after school!” he yelled.

you briefly stopped in your tracks at his greet, you continued walking and pulled your girls away from the scene. you didn’t pay any attention, but you knew they couldn’t contain their smiles appearing on their faces.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

the bags full of foldable cones fell to the floor. the rest of the team turned to your direction, who already made mistakes on the first day of camp. they knew that you were obviously flabbergasted with your encounter. it was funny that you managed to stride your way so quickly towards jungwoo— he was very much entertained with your expression. “i know right? that was me earlier.” he stroked the large pup.

“h-how did puppy grow so big? that’s an adult sized dog! you stuttered but hiding your love for golden retrievers just wasn’t possible. there were times you forgot that this was actually jaehyun. “it’s only been a week.”

“yeah i’d like to know the reason too.”

suddenly you heard jaehyun’s voice. it felt like he was close to your ears again, but he wasn’t anywhere near you.

remains of memories probably were still in you head. you wouldn’t say you were traumatised, just surprised. why the hell am i hearing his voice? you shook the thought off at first but then again-

oi y/n. beside you. i’m talking to you!

what?

you gasped and fell on your butt. the pup’s ears were on alert and you knew he was hearing you too. “you can hear me?” jaehyun’s dog form practically towered on your fallen self. you avoided his look although the pup was so cute. his paws poked your shoulders, whiskers twitching as he waited for your response. “don’t look away! you can hear me right??”

all the guys could see was jaehyun staring down at you. and while you did the same, your knitted brows only meant something was definitely going on. they wanted to know. “what’s wrong y/n?”

your lips shook in heavens knows it was fear. “you’re asking me what’s wrong? why can i hear jaehyun? can you hear jaehyun? oh my g- this is really really weird-”

“you can?” they scooted closer to you, very much intrigued with your gift.

“and you all can’t?” you pushed jaehyun away for his body was weighing you down. he whimpered and got up to sit in front of the boys too.

they shook their heads vigorously. “only sungchan and coach were able to hear him.” kun stated, typing on his cellphone to inform his family.

“y/n! let’s talk when i transform back!” jaehyun’s paws kept poking you again. you glared at him with a loud hiss. his ears were alert, he didn’t realise that he was clawing you already, and turned a few rounds before he was laying like a bagel-shaped position.

jaehyun thought it was pretty strange. never in his life were there any people who could actually converse with him telepathically. other than his family, you were the first and he was determined to find out why this impossibility was made possible. there was a spark of hope forming in his heart at this sudden revelation. the glow from the orange light then shone above your head, marking the end of sunrise.

you looked at jaehyun’s dog form, it was- correction, he was.. quiet, and was still staring at you as if you were his master. he laid on this front legs, snout on the ground. huh, he can actually be behaved. footsteps were closing in. at the distance, coach jung walked with lisa and minnie, who were in their cheerleading uniforms. right, you forgot that they were also included in the annual athletes camp.

for a moment you panicked because you knew jaehyun would transform back from being a dog. ten and rest knew more people shouldn’t know about jaehyun’s curse. they were glad you read the atmosphere too. seeing jaehyun’s jersey in his duffel bag, you grabbed it and wore it on the animal.

coach jung made eye contact to your direction. he diverted the girls’ attention, and led them away from the basketball court. they headed towards the storage to “retrieve” some equipment.

jaehyun grunted and growled, his fangs tried to bite your skin. however, goldens were known for having a soft jaw, so his bites weren’t that painful. when you finally managed to put the jersey on him, jungwoo couldn’t catch up. “why let him wear the jersey?” he questioned.

“so he wouldn’t transform back naked when lisa and minnie arrives.” you pointed out the obvious.

ten held his laugh in. you recognised this tone, and prepared what came after. “heh..” he trailed off. “is it because you want to keep jaehyun to yourself?”

you continuously threw random items at him as heat spread to your cheeks. “screw you!” you scoffed. “get jaehyun to wear his pants. i have to pack a lot of things before we head onto the bus.”

“yes ma’am.” ten nudged your shoulder. “i’m kidding y/n. don’t take my jokes seriously.“

“it’s fine.” you picked up the fallen cones. “you’re worried about people knowing his curse. so i’m just doing my part to keep it secret.”

he pursed his lips and his heart softened at your willingness to help. “hm, i guess i can trust you after all.” ten opened the bag to help you pack. “oh! and also, jae in his dog form already is naked anyway.”

“you think i’m not aware of that?” you rolled your eyes.

your friends already have settled themselves inside the coach bus and you were seated in between them. now they would get to witness you with the team and hoped for a budding romance with any of the boys. you lowered your face under a cap to pretend you were sleeping, but in reality you just wanted to avoid lisa and minnie’s bombardment.

few rows at front, jaehyun stared by the window, deep in thought. rarely spoke a word since they started their journey to the retreat campsite. why was his hunch telling him to get closer to you? why could you hear him and he could hear you? he slightly turned to his side between the gaps of two seats. seeing you giggling with your friends had him rethinking if what happened earlier was just his imagination. he wondered why you purposely ignore him after he transformed back.

he slid lower from his seat. “i’d understand if this was a soulmate thing, but it’s not.” jaehyun sighed heavily where he broke the silence and supposedly ending the conversation earlier. now that he wanted to talk about it, his friends were still up for the news.

“oh yeah. those things are going on. except it only happens to some people.” kun popped a chip in his mouth.

“i just don’t get it. dad told me that never occurred to anyone with this curse.” he stole the bag of chips from the younger one to relieve his emotions.

jungwoo’s pursed his lip in wonder. “maybe the curse in another light has its own blessing? maybe you guys are soulmates?”

“nah, impossible.” they all said simultaneously.

“it’s a possibility-” jungwoo’s face soured where wrinkles appeared on the sides as the boys flared at him.

jaehyun shrugged not knowing what to say. his friends have bizarre ideas throughout the journey, and he wouldn’t say they were wrong either. all he could do was to wait until the next transformation. maybe you would say your thoughts about it through telepathy.

he would know if time passed quickly when he didn’t pay attention to anyone. one of them was the number of times you waved in front of his face to snap him back to earth. “jaehyun?” you laid on the ground and called out, panting to catch air after your successful reps. you tugged the ends of his track pants.

“hm?” he hummed, looking for your voice until he got annoyed with your repetitive pulls of his clothes. “ah stop that. i have to report your record to coach. come with?”

“do i really have to?” you whined. “i could barely stand, my legs are wobbly and i’m hungry.”

jaehyun rolled his eyes and took your hand, pulling you up on your toes. “then let’s grab something to eat on our way to the camp, hm?”

you gulped at the sudden gesture, even more so when you noticed your heart beating faster around him. somehow your sixth sense told you your friends were somewhere in the woods looking at you, and you were right.

minnie had her binoculars by her eyes as you and jaehyun headed in another direction back to everyone else were. she held in her excitement with a huge inhale. out of curiosity lisa stole the binoculars from her. a growing smile showed her pearly whites when within its frame, jaehyun was pushing you from the back before he took your hand again because of how slow you were. “min, consider your reverse harem dream for y/n over. we found her leading man.”

—

“few more reps y/n! do it properly this time?”

jaehyun rubbed his face, raising his tone in question of your athleticism. it was the second and final day of your assessments. your core should be able to get used to the pressure if you’ve done the reps for two straight days. so as of today you salute to all people who persevered and with great stamina. you just.. weren’t that person.

you’ve grown conscious now that jaehyun’s friends were watching a few metres away. you’d prefer kun counting and timing your exercises over him. in contrast, kun’s a little more understanding than the hotheaded jaehyun. “if i say i can’t, shouldn’t you consider stopping here? it’s the last one anyway so put random number on the blank or something.” you struggled to lift yourself up from the ground, arms in an ‘x’ position over your torso.

“is that so? then you wouldn’t mind if i write ‘0’ for the final count?” jaehyun checked the stopwatch while his knees put enough weight on your feet. “at least do five more?” he sat on the soles of his shoes.

“ugh! fine!” you tsked and did sit ups slowly, eyes shut closed.

jaehyun smirked with how determined you were in finishing. and he has gotta credit you for having the last brain cell to endure his overly playful bossiness and plans up his sleeves.

but even his friends has something up in their sleeves. they whispered to each other and nodded heads as excitement already boosted their anticipation. ten cupped his mouth then giving the raised brows as signal to start. “y/n! jaehyun’s recording your expression with his phone!” ten yelled.

jungwoo’s mouth widened and followed along. “jae! there’s a bee behind you!”

“what?!”

“where?!”

the moment you froze and opened your eyes after bringing yourself up, and jaehyun leaned forwards to avoid the insect, was way too hilarious for the guys to see. both of your faces were centimetres away from each other and jaehyun’s ears already tinted pink. jaehyun already found it awkward to help you for three days, but he never prepared himself for something like this.

as his friends bursting out laughing, that was when he realised it was all their plan. you were still too close to him, so he cleared his throat to cut the gap between. “is that a pimple on your nose?” he asked, only for his nose to be smacked and soon be numbed. “agh!”

what the- “jerk! don’t point it out!” you kicked him and rolled sideways to stand up, angrily leaving the area with the sheet in your hands. “i’ll give this to the coach!”

jaehyun held his nose and walked back to the guys, who were still laughing their butts off and rolling on the ground. “you can stop now.”

“oh that was funny! it was like a typical ‘ba-dump’ scene in a rom-com!” jungwoo wiped a tear.

“should’ve recorded it!” kun threw his head back while his hand rested on his heaving chest.

“no worries! at least it’s recorded in jaehyun’s mind!” ten cheered with closed fists.

“it’s embarrassing!” jaehyun threw his towel.

bonfires were mandatory at the start and end of the camp. however, because of your assessment, coach jung had negotiate with the other members of the basketball to get to the campsite a day before the other teams actually arrived at night. so for the kun and the rest, they had a little more free time than jaehyun. and him being the coach’s son.. he didn’t have the same benefits. he was stuck with you because he had to keep an eye on you while

he thought being with you would only be for the first two days, then he would go for his training. and yet here you were, sitting beside him in front of the bonfire while everyone else arrived and other danced to their hearts’ content. maybe he could ask you about the telepathy thing? but figuring you were cranky from earlier, he held back.

“can i ask more about your curse? if it’s okay with you to tell me.”

jaehyun nodded, you had the right to. not because you accidentally picked a random puppy then saw him naked few moments later. you could hear him in your head, and that was enough reason to tell you rather than a general information about it. “yeah. i’m okay with it.”

“you said your ancestors had the curse too. was there any specific reason why they had to suffer that your family and you had to be the..” you paused for a while. jaehyun was waiting for your next words, you guessed it was alright to say it. “..collateral damage?”

“right. i didn’t tell you more of it yeah?” he sniffed from the chilly night. “i don’t know how far back in the years it happened. but they said the head of the family casted out his wife because he assumed he cheated on him. he was the only person the wife ever treasured, so when she was accused, she took his pet and killed it. the head found out, he cursed her that her descendants turn into animals. and we’re the descendants of that woman.”

“that’s awful.” you cleared your throat. “i’m sorry you have to suffer the curse.”

“you don’t have to be. i’m just trying to cope with it.” jaehyun chuckled. “how awesome would it be if there was a way to reverse everything.”

“gotta find the blessing then.” you laid on the grass.

jaehyun’s face wrinkled in disgust. “okay you sound like jungwoo.”

“at least appreciate me for trying to lift your spirits up.”

he hummed in agreement.

“or you can just.. let the blessing find you.” you singsonged as you realised how corny you actually sounded.

“fine, and if it’s you?” he had to give a hint of the telepathic communication.

“because i can hear you when you’re in your retriever form? i’m not exactly a blessing but yeah i’d like to know how telapthy works too.” you stared back at the bonfire, flames flickering as the smoke flew in the air. as of tonight, you wanted to be that person who’d be the igniter of that hope he held on. “if i could help out a little, i’ll be happy to help.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

lisa and minnie stared at you, both had their palms under their chins as if their silence asked you to talk. “i can’t eat when the two of you are like this. it’s very disturbing.” you gripped on your fork, hesitant to eat as you took glances between the food and them.

you knew what they were going to ask. not like you didn’t want to share, it was just that you knew them well enough that they wouldn’t stop once they start. the food was getting cold every second passed, due to the wind outdoors, it was more vulnerable. lisa stretched her elbows while holding her poms to be noticed. five days have gone by and even though you were rarely with them in all those days, she had to ensure you’d tell them about the basketball team and your leading man— although you had no idea about that.

“any updates?” she raised her brows.

“nothing is happening with me or anyone in the team, if that’s what you both wanted to know.” you sighed. “i’m just simply taking down minutes.” you said sternly, kind of regret that you answered her and swirled the noodles with your fork.

“are you sure? twelve members should be enough for that.” minnie tied her shoelaces and bent down with a pressed smile when you pout. she softened her gaze when you were telling the truth and that their teasing should stop there. but they knew that the team should know something about you.

“they’re divided into teams. some did the score board while others practiced on their own. of course i have to be the one- why are you pulling my arm?” you asked and eyed them as if they stained your clothes.

lisa twirled on her toes and posed with her arm rested on her waist. “you’re being quiet again.”

“i’m not?” you said monotonously while you munched on your food.

she sighed and grabbed your chin. “you don’t look at me when you’re lying.” she hummed, yet you didn’t respond. “what’s up y/n? something’s on your mind i can tell.”

in fact a lot of things were.

so far in the week, you’ve helped jaehyun theorise solutions to end his curse after practice. not only for him, but his family and extended family too. some have passed not having to enjoy their lives, while others chose to hide themselves from the world. and a small percentage of the family tree actually tried to live through it— that was jaehyun’s family. coach jung was as determined as jaehyun to put a stop into this curse.

not only that thought alone. to you, jaehyun has been rather noticeable. even if you weren’t thinking of him, he’d appear out of nowhere— during your breaks, on your night-walks alone or even heading to the toilet. you’d always bump into him and his presence seemed to be marked in your consciousness now. not that you liked him around, it was just captain was more friendly than others made him out to be. “really, it’s nothing.”

to say that jaehyun didn’t feel same was definitely an understatement. since the start of the freshman year, he knew you were the loud girl with the two hot cheerleaders, but always wondered why you’ve never joined the team. sometimes he would catch you sitting at one corner, dancing along with the routines aside from cheering your friends on as he was heading to practice.

now he took a peek of you eating alone while lisa and minnie showed off their new uniforms. he was about to call you out to help the team, but the girls pulling you almost immediately once you were done had him holding back. “chaeyeon will be arriving soon, and remember the dare was to wear our uniform.” minnie giggled while you begged her to stop, to the point you nearly cried thinking about it. “you agreed to it-”

“i didn’t agree to it! you agreed for me! i had no say!”

jaehyun’s eyes widened at the thought of you in uniform. your yells were getting louder and pitchier. should he be your knight and shining armour? probably not. he’d like to have something to tease you about. for a moment there was silence, he hid behind the corner of a storage building. you were still telling your friends to stop doing what they were doing. but it was two against one, and he knew you were at the losing end.

the door slammed open, your huffs and puffs getting heavier and closer to where he was. jaehyun’s heart beat so fast that when he finally decided to call out your name, you bumped into him and he caught you to prevent you from falling. “i was about to fetch you, manager.”

you felt heat spread your entire cheek because of the attire you were forced to wear. “well you did and i’m here. can we go? my friends are giving me the stares.”

“fiesty, but i think you look alright.” he chuckled when you grumpily walked ahead. jaehyun followed you from behind with his hands in pockets.

what does he mean by that?

lisa and minnie pursed their lips, soon bursting into giddy squeals and continuously fanning each other from what they saw yet the second time. “he was really checking her out.” minnie laughed.

“his ears said it all.” lisa checked her watch on her wrist. “basketball team’s practice match is starting soon. wanna sit in?”

“girl you bet i will.”

even hours later you blew your baby fringes blocking your view. as you flipped the score board and whistles for a time-out echoed the outdoor gym, your friends could tell how uncomfortable you were but they’d do nothing to get more reactions from you. they liked that you entertained them. and what choice did you have? chaeyeon was already taking pictures of you in the uniform you despised wearing.

coach jung briefed the team information on their opponents this season. you wrote down important points, feeling the chill of the early sunset. you couldn’t wait to change into actual soft and comfy clothes, mosquitoes weren’t your friends.

jaehyun listened to his dad repeating the same points- mostly because he got the advice first before others. he heard you hiss several times, you were supposed to jot the notes down. then it got frequent. he tiptoed to see you opposite from him, shooing the bugs away. of course you were still wearing the cheer uniform. he didn’t want to draw attention, so he stealthy walked behind the guys and straight to you.

“trouble?” he asked.

“just a little chilly, that’s all. meeting’s nearly done yeah?” you hugged the file to your chest.

“say so if you’re cold.” he took his jacket off and draped it on your shoulder.

“and who am i to tell to?” your voice challenging him.

he hummed so low that it almost lulled you to sleep. “me. i’m not the captain for nothing.”

you were both busy talking that you and him weren’t aware of time nor anyone else close by. mind you that minnie and lisa were watching the whole thing. you managed to smile even if you were crossed with how you were dressed. like you enjoyed his company.

they couldn’t hear your conversation, nor were your lips were moving. but the body language they saw already proved and confirmed their assumption. they had to tell you. they went straight to you once the meeting was over, and pulled you aside whilst jaehyun was talking about his childhood.

jaehyun raised a brow and chuckled as you were being pulled away. his friends immediately surround him, bombarding him with questions that he wasn’t paying attention to the meeting. “dude, your time’s near.” ten smacked him on the back.

“don’t make it sound like i’m dying, ten.” jaehyun rolled his eyes, but whenever he did, they were always fixated on you. he couldn’t shake off the feeling you were that something to solve the curse.

“be alert than be busted.” ten shrugged, head tilting to where you were. your friends were busy recording you and giggles filled the air. “how are you so calm now jae?”

jaehyun pursed his lips. “with her, there’s no way i’m calm at all.”

“okay now i can’t tell if that answer was from human jaehyun or doggy jaehyun.” jungwoo pointed out.

his friends all looked at each other, jaehyun wasn’t his usual self. it was as if he was dazed but was able to converse with them properly. slowly his naturally peach-like fuzzy cheeks grew more fur, his tail started to reveal. although they were quick enough to hide jaehyun, they didn’t realise the commotion that came afterwards and drew everyone’s attention.

you swifted your head at the boys’ yells and gathering circle, faintly hearing jaehyun’s refusal into whatever they got him into. “stop it! hey!” he hissed.

jungwoo, a little too excited of the drama going on, spotted you looking at them and gestured you to come over too. your friends built up a curiosity and went ahead of you. as for you, you were mentally tired to think of anything.

not until you heard kun’s wavering yet convincing words. “uh.. y’all wanna see magic?” he chuckled nervously as he knew what jaehyun would do to him after all this was over. “quickly because it’ll happen soon!”

you held in a laugh at jaehyun when he was forced to sit down on the grass to hide his tail. “i’ve been trying to master this for months and i thank jaehyun as my participant. who loves animals? give me a name.”

most hands were up and the answers were said at the same time. some didn’t believe him, but others have seen kun’s little magic tricks over the days. so something of a huge scale like this already got them curious than ever.

“ah i hear great ones but i’ll choose dog. now i’ll turn jaehyun into a golden retriever.” he draped a blanket above his friend.

ten and jungwoo bit their lips to contain themselves, holding onto each other as they filmed this once-in-a-lifetime event. the circle enlarged in scale with the poor lad at the center and the golden hour shone over everyone.

“in 3.. 2.. 1..” kun only snapped his fingers then the blanket shrunk in size. your schoolmates were convinced that something was actually happening.

and it was amusing because you were able to hear jaehyun swearing so much in your head.

you let out a giggle. jaehyun was soon surrounded by everyone who wanted to pet him. even your friends went over to the animal. “at least pretend to be happy for them. goldens are known for being clowns.” you told him.

*sighs* “tell kun i’m gonna kill him.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

the silence was all jaehyun ever wanted after the shock he had to go through from kun’s improv few days ago. he’d be thankful for a moment because he actually forgot the gideon hour at the time, but he would soon later be clouded with annoyance that he should’ve been informed beforehand of his actions— not only kun, the others included. they’ve got a part in this too.

his friends seated side by side with bruises and bandages on their faces, jaehyun still giving them the silent treatment. he was cranky about that, yet even more so when there was no progress into finding a solution to his curse. “jae. we said we’re sorry.” jungwoo apologised and felt that he was the only one giving effort to talk to jaehyun compared to kun and ten.

“and i said it’s fine. so stop saying that before i actually don’t forgive you.” jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose.

after walking up the slope to the cabin with heaves of breaths, you managed to hear their conversation before opening the door. “i refilled your bottles.” you threw them on a duffle bag, not caring whether either of them rolled away. “i have to apologise too, jaehyun. i haven’t come up with anything to help you.” true enough because you couldn’t think straight or have the energy to use your remaining brain cells for that matter.

“ugh it’s fine. i’m not in a rush or anything. not even assigning you to solve within the duration of the camp.” jaehyun squeezed the bottle as thirst continued to drive him crazy, the heat as well, so he removed his tshirt. you averted your gaze and looked elsewhere. maybe you were still a little bothered seeing him half naked after the incident?

ten sought the opportunity and decided to fan the flame even more. “why look away when you’ve seen him already?”

he managed to dodge your hits and you turned around embarrassed. jaehyun could see you fanning yourself from the heat. “it was an accident!” you cleared your throat.

“gah i’m tired. we’re done with practice. we get a day off tomorrow, so can’t we watch a movie? who has disney plus?” jungwoo wiped himself with a towel.

“i do.” kun brought out his ipad. “what do you wanna watch?”

“i haven’t watched that one.”

“beauty and the beast?”

“o-kay, i’ll be going now.” you yawned as you began to feel the exhaustion take over your body. “see you tomorrow.”

the door closed and suddenly you remembered a funny memory last halloween when taeil dressed himself as belle. he blended in with the other ladies that you didn’t realise it was him. either it was the wig’s work or just taeil in general. you found it funny when a bunch of young teens become children again as disney’s mentioned.

your phone vibrated with your friends asking to help them out with their practice. “i came to the camp for the basketball team, not you two.” you left a voice mail. all you wanted was to rest up today. not until a certain realisation hit you hard.

because what if?

it hasn’t been that long since you left the cabin when the boys jolted from their positions. their peace and concentration on the movie already ruined by you. “oh my goodness i think i got it?” you slammed the door.

jaehyun sat up and set his phone aside. “you’re saying it a question rather than a discovery. not convinced.”

“will you be when i tell you if it’s based on that movie?” you pointed at the tablet.

he trailed his eyes to the screen then back at you, a more confused expression on his face. “you expect me to find someone to love me so my curse will be lifted?”

“pfft nah kidding, you don’t seem that loveable anyway.” you stole a lollipop from ten. “okay bye for reals.”

as the door closed, ten unwrapped another lollipop. “bet you he’s thinking of his potential ‘belle’.” ten nudged the boys.

“shut up. i’m not going to base my life on a fictional movie.”

“but it could be y/n. i mean she can hear you.” jungwoo paused the film.

“it’s not going to be her and it doesn’t prove anything.”

jaehyun thought a lot for two things— you keeping his hopes up, the other was you setting his heart in a frenzy and he always hated that feeling. he groaned and dragged himself to bed to place a towel over his face. sure he’ll hold on to that idea you came up with for now. however it didn’t prove on telepathy.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

your heart missed a beat when jaehyun waited for you in front of the cabin you stayed at. he thought you bumping into his torso wasn’t a good way to greet in the morning, whereas you feeling some fur on his tshirt as greeting was any different. jaehyun handed you a file and a little note from coach.

while you read it, you could sense jaehyun was staring, like he had something to say. he retracted his lips when your friends appeared behind you with grins annoyingly appearing on their faces. “make it quick captain. we have things to discuss with y/n.”

“yeah sure. i just dropped by to pass this to you. coach said to make copies. i’ll come back after you’re done with breakfast.” he cleared his throat and announced his leave.

“hm. fishy. he could’ve just left it here outside but he seems like he waited for you.” lisa drank from her cup as you all sat and ate breakfast together.

“right? it’s been days he acted that way!” minnie walked back to the table. “he’s indeed a gentleman, but there are times he’s very hard to approach.”

you unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite. “anyway, what is it you guys wanna talk about?”

“lisa will go first. she couldn’t wait.” minnie giggled.

lisa laid out series of pictures of nature she recently took and were indeed beautiful. “oh my goodness they look amazing!” you sat up. “as expected from someone in the photography club. i bet if you submit these to johnny he’ll regret putting you as backup-”

“really?! i took advantage of the retreat and i made sure they were pretty!” lisa interrupted you and placed more pictures down. “these are my favourite! i’m thinking of sending these to johnny instead!”

however your face turned sullen at the next pictures. they were blurry and almost gone, but it was definitely jaehyun at the background, each one showed he was transforming from human to dog. you paused and your heart did the same.

the silence got longer, you knew you had to speak up, but no words came out. “what’s wrong y/n?”

“you can’t submit these to johnny.” you brushed the first batch of pictures aside and bind latest pictures together.

“why not? you supported the rest of them! how could these be not good enough?” lisa’s voice changed in an instant, like you’ve taken away her pride. she sat back with folded arms, her behaviour scared you a little.

minnie slightly wiggled your hand. “hey, are you hearing to yourself y/n?”

“sorry, i know i sound stupid-”

“you are!” lisa huffed where her cheeks blew up. it was cute though.

“but you have to hear me out.” one thing was for sure, your stress levels shot up high if word gets to jaehyun. you had to prepare for the consequences.

“okay, so why can’t i submit them?” lisa sighed.

you held her hand. “it would be alright to, only if these are not in the background.” you said, pointing out a figure at the background of the subject. it all became clear as day to them when they looked closely. “did jaehyun just.. transformed?”

you were surprised with how quick they were able to catch on. as much as you wanted to protect jaehyun’s family curse, things would’ve turn for worst if someone else had noticed it. i’m sorry jaehyun, this is for your own good.

“we believed kun’s ability of illusion and his magic tricks. ten sent us a video of it and it didn’t really occurred to us that the golden was actually jaehyun.” minnie pursed her lips. “if you think about it, he does look like a golden.”

“how is this possible?” lisa asked with a growing smile, but refrained since transforming twice everyday was nothing good anyway.

“i found about his family curse accidentally. he turns into a dog when it’s golden hour, like sunrise and sunset.” you propped on your elbows.

“it’s a curse? poor lad.” minnie gasped.

a rather sad nod caught them off guard. “the coach signed me up to join this retreat. it’s not only for my missed p.e assessments but it was to keep his curse a secret. a-and now that you know, i’ll be damned if word gets to him. so you have to promise me you both don’t say or do anything..“ you sounded as if you begged. that was how much your the friendship you have with jaehyun meant to you.

“and yeah, that’s my answer. the magic trick was just a cover up to hide jaehyun’s dog form.” they listened and were surprised to hear you like this.

your fidgety hands and nervous breathing was too obvious. if jaehyun was just a friend, you wouldn’t act as if he was your- “oh no.” you slumped down on your arms. “why did i..” you mumbled as your feelings for him became clearer to you.

“oh my gosh. you like him! you like jaehyun!” lisa covered her mouth and changed the lingering negative atmosphere.

ba-dump. i..

“then that means your love for golden retrievers doubled!” minnie hugged you.

“no! it’s b-because you’re putting m-me in the spotlight-” you stuttered when they leaned towards you. “i’m gonna go.”

jaehyun flinched even though he was at a distance. your friends were yelling quite excitingly. you were being chased by them and although it was inaudible. he answered his phone as it was ringing for a while. “what, ten?”

“don’t ‘what’ me!” jaehyun tilted his head from his friend’s volume. “jae where are you?”

“i’m at y/n’s cabin and on my way bac-”

“nevermind that. i can see you.”

ten rushed towards him and looked at the cabin. “where’s lisa?” he squinted his eyes.

“just her and minnie chasing y/n out. i don’t know how but they left the door open. what are you doing here anyway?”

he mimicked a photographer’s gesture and pointed at the cabin. “lisa told me her pictures have developed and i’m here to get them.”

jaehyun flicked his forehead. “and you could’ve asked me instead.”

“they’re confidential and i’m shy if anyone sees it.” ten walked to the cabin.

“gross. just get them and head back quickly.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you lost track of the days that have passed and there was an unsettling feeling that stayed in your chest. had it been two or three? you couldn’t remember. the basketball team’s practice matches and drills were normal. but there was a difference in air lingering around jaehyun. he still talked to you, kept the same gentle smile and was caring as usual. except whenever he did those, it seemed like he was distancing himself from you, creating an imaginary wall just to let you know your limits and boundaries.

you’d like to think it was because of the pressure coach has been giving him since the play-offs were close to date. but, it wasn’t all jaehyun who behaved that way. ten also distanced himself, his gaze pierced against your skull and thinking about it only caused you to have migraines. you were more scared of ten.

coach jung have asked you to help the cheerleading team, saying you’ve helped them enough. the amount of appreciation he had for you was too much, you couldn’t ask him about how jaehyun recently. yet this was all too sudden that your gut feeling told you otherwise. you planned to talk to jaehyun after the day ends. because in all honesty, something definitely happened.

and the boys left you out of it.

approaching jaehyun was harder than you thought. now you’ve realised it, he was always the one who took the initiative and you on the receiving end took the benefits of his kindness. it was supposed to be the other way around, so why were you taking advantage of this?

if having feelings for him was the reason for that, then you’re really stupid y/n. you laid on the grass in defeat from your thoughts and closed your eyes. you decided to have some peace and nature was your best friend in time like these. chirping birds and crashing riverbanks-

“jaehyun where are you?!”

ah crap. you twitched hard enough that swarms of goosebumps appeared on the majority of your skin. on your stomach, you hid behind the bushes to see jungwoo and the others struggling to find him. even at the mention of his name you were already feeling shy and flustered.

“is he skipping practice again?”

“ah whatever let’s just leave him.”

“i understand why he’s like that.”

“even i would feel hurt if i were him.”

a heavy and deep audible breath from their sudden entry was difficult to hide your response. you tried to leave as quiet as possible. not wanting to get caught, you had to move stealthily with few glides backwards on your knees, eyes glued to the boys’ actions if they looked elsewhere. when you felt something blocking the soles of your shoes, somehow you knew what it was.

“you’re blocking my way.” jaehyun’s irritated tone made your chest ache— in the most painful impact you never expected from him.

quickly you stood up and made sure you stayed out of sight from the boys. jaehyun scratched his temple at your awkward behaviour. he was already in front of you, why were you hesitating to ask him questions he left unanswered? jaehyun pulled a long face when you still remained silent. “if you’re not gonna speak when you clearly have something to say, do i really have to say it for you?”

what the hell is his problem? what’s with his tone? “yeah as a matter of fact i do. the thing is, i don’t understand why you’re being like this. you ignore me but still talk to me when i don’t help with the team anymore, and for some reason you’re mad at me?” you grimaced while leaning on a tree trunk.

there was cynism in jaehyun’s nods and the swirls of his tongue evident on his cheeks. you hated his attitude and all you wanted was an explanation. “whatever this is, i’ve got no reason for you to doubt me, jaehyun.”

“ah, really? ‘cause you just gave me one.” he fished out something from his pockets and as you watched, the item he was holding was too familiar and they were obviously not his. he flicked the sheets and that was when you confirmed they were the new pictures lisa developed.

why were they with him? at the pit of your stomach, a whirlwind of emotions and stressing pressure began, and you didn’t like the feeling at all. “what-”

he threw the pictures on the floor. “other than my family and friends you’re the only one who knows about my curse! and at some point you go against my back telling them to picture me when i’m left clueless?!”

right now you were really afraid jaehyun’s mood would attract attention.

you closed your eyes as he raised his voice. “look i have no idea how you got those but i promise you i had nothing to do with the picture-” you insisted and could feel your blood pressure rising.

“how- how could you betray me like this?!”

your heart fell and instead of feeling bad about him knowing, you felt your head ache with so much anger building up inside you. because jaehyun didn’t bother to listen or let you explain yourself.

“i found you in the background before lisa actually showed those to johnny! it would spread if she did! where’s the betrayal in that?!”

he stepped closer to you, your entire was itching to run away. “i don’t care! you still told your friends! you could’ve said another excuse like kun’s practicing his magic trick or something! you promised me my secret’s safe with you!”

that’s messed up. i did tell lisa and minnie but not because it was to mock him!

“kun was no where to be seen in the picture! what else can i do? lie to them? i know my friends more than you do and they won’t tell anyone!” you raised your voice as well.

jaehyun scoffed, rolling his eyes. “i don’t trust them!”

“well, i do! and you should trust me!” your tone wavering at all emotions hitting you at once. especially coming from him— the guy you developed feelings for.

“the moment you told them you broke my trust already! what else did you tell them, hm? my dad and brother having the curse too?” he brushed his hair in anger when your silence meant yes. “ugh is this really happening?! you told them everything!”

“okay that’s enough-” your vision blurring from the tears wanting to fall.

“i’m asking what else did you tell them?! dammit y/n what could be so important to you than my secret?!”

“well- i-”

“i what?!”

other than the secret, you knew what went after the reveal. then you realised the weight of your words, you couldn’t tell him that you actually like him. you wanted to be selfish this once. “i can’t.. tell you.”

jaehyun started to harbour more resentment towards your reasoning. he found it ridiculous of you to even continue with this conversation. ten already warned him that the secret wasn’t safe with you in the first place. the glimpse of hope faded when he thought you’d be the key, even if you were, trust was still important to him. it was the very thing his mother lacked and you doing so reminded him of it.

his expression darkened and you were afraid of him— excluding of how cruel he was with you on the exercise reps. you were afraid you just broken a promise and put your friendship on a rocky end.

“so that’s it? i’m begging you with my life on the line and you just gave me the most bullcrap answer!”

“you’re being unreasonable!” you yelled.

“shut up! you found about my curse so you should be the one compromising!”

“y/n!” lisa came running with a panicked face.

tsk, wrong timing. “not now.” you mouthed.

“have you seen my pictures?! i told ten to get them the other day but he got the wrong envelope! it’s the one with jae-” she bent down to catch her breath and was taken aback with jaehyun’s presence. “..hyun.”

the boys followed lisa and once they found their friend, you could tell ten’s stares that felt like daggers. he pulled jaehyun away but eyes still locked on you. “what happened?” lisa asked as you mirrored ten’s expression, but your friends could see the hurt in your eyes.

“he has the pictures. i think ten saw them and gave them to him. jaehyun’s mad, he thinks i betrayed him for telling you-”

“no that’s not it!” lisa held your hand and glared at the boys, especially ten, since he was her childhood friend. “you had every right to tell us because the pictures are my works-”

“shouldn’t have said anything further y/n! you should’ve gotten the pictures and told us instead of them! you promised, remember?” ten finally spoke up.

you rolled your eyes. “and what?! you’re like saying i should risk my friendship for his stupid secret!”

his friends turned heads to jaehyun to see his tight-knit brows and softening demeanour. jaehyun frowned and hurt was evident in his face. he was hurt by you, someone he developed feelings for in a short amount of time. “i believed it when you said you’ll help me. or were.. were all those just words to you?”

ah.. that came out wrong.

you bit your lips to say something, but they left so soon after, making your chest squeeze as if your lungs let out the last bits of oxygen from your body.

shortly over an hour, jungwoo watched his friend pace back and forth, nibbling on his nails when the tension grew in their cabin. “aren’t you too hard on her? you didn’t let y/n explain further-”

“i can’t believe her!” jaehyun crumpled the picture after looking at it. “how could she do this to me?!”

“honestly i just don’t think she’s that type of person to go behind someone’s back for her own entertainment.” kun spoke up and tilted his head, avoiding the cup that smashed on his side of his cheek. “perhaps you’re mistaken.”

jaehyun wasn’t in the right headspace whenever his past trauma was reminded or brought up, so no matter how much reason was given, he wouldn’t listen. “do i have to repeat it? she already had her fun when she told her friends to picture me!”

“your explanations are always so conclusive.” kun sighed.

“and your heart’s too soft as usual, kun! so back off!” jaehyun grabbed the older one’s shoulder and shoved him against the wall.

he released him soon after realising that he didn’t once listen to you, but he was too stubborn to take any more excuses. there was one thing he thought you were wrong— weren’t you risking your friendship with him by exposing his secret he kept so dearly? maybe distancing himself more than he did would clear his mind off from the mess.

—

when all sports teams lined up with their designated coach buses the days after, jaehyun slightly put his chin up to search for you in the crowd— in a subtle manner, since he still stood in his decision into having his space from you yet didn’t want it to be obvious to others that he cared for you still.

you knew he was staring from afar. it was a stupid misunderstanding, both of you were in the wrong, but he made you feel as if you carried the blame for this.

sure that was a given, that he would react worse than expected. you were going to take the pictures from lisa anyway, and the guys wouldn’t know that your friends knew. you didn’t expect you’d burst out of anger or that ten took them before you did and made the assumption. it still drove you mad, ten probably convinced jaehyun of your doing since he didn’t trust you at first.

that aside, you decided to ride the coach bus with the cheerleading team. “when we reach school, you can forget about the basketball team and camp. how dare they hurt you?” minnie hugged you as you stared out the window.

“if i had to weigh it, it’s not me who’s hurting. jaehyun is.” you sighed and pat her back. “how do i act if i bump to any of them? i’ll probably do something stupid again. at all cost, i’mma just- *sigh*”

“she’s talking about jaehyun right?”

“yeah she’s still not straightforward about him.”

“we know she likes him. she doesn’t have to hide it.”

“i can hear you both.” you lowered your hat to avoid their gaze.

jaehyun sat beside his father at the front for a change, playing with the blinds to cover sunlight. coach jung knew his silence more than anyone, even if jaehyun didn’t plan on telling him. “i’ve done what you told me to do. you didn’t want to see y/n after the fight. so? did it to any change?”

“no. i kept my distance and i’ll see if she’ll admit her mistake.” jaehyun adjusted the fan above him.

“jae, if only you saw her reaction when i told her to not come see the team. i know you’re smarter than this. you know it’s not all her fault.”

he clenched his palms hard. crescent moons soon showed themselves on the flesh. “where exactly in this is my fault, dad? have i not been patient to wait for curse to be broken? who said that y/n might have a contribution in this? it’s you, dad. i’m not holding any grudge against y/n. i’m just disappointed at her because she’s nothing i ever imagined her to be. goodness’ sake i even like her.” he mumbled at the last sentence, missing the point that his dad could hear it.

coach jung let out a short laugh at the remark. “not sure if you noticed, you haven’t seen y/n working hard at researching about our curse while you boys practiced. she’s always brainstorming at the possibilities, science or not, she’s always looking for ways. don’t let anger cloud you.” his father paused and had a pressed smile. “..don’t end up having small fights like me and your mother. you wouldn’t want it to be bigger than it already is.”

“yeah.. i know.”

you woke up with a thud and saw a rather prominent bump on your right temple through the reflection of the window. arriving at the campus grounds was quicker than you thought, despite being almost a half day journey. you overheard that the basketball team would stay there a little longer and you had to leave immediately because once everyone has gone home, you’d see him. you didn’t want to risk yourself from being spotted after you both fought.

it was a small matter now that you think about that day. stubbornness outweighed understanding in the two of you, and that resulted in immaturity. and if neither of you were willing to admit, might as well make the first move.

but you were stubborn as he was.

once the coach bus was nearing the parking area, the first and only thing you decide to do was get out of the vehicle and head straight home. you wouldn’t let your friends speak and looked at their bus. there sat jaehyun fiddling with the curtain. you then rushed out, covering your face from the basketball team as they too were getting off. “is that what she meant ‘at all costs’?” minnie facepalmed as she saw you walking away quickly.

“oh look, there’s y/n.” coach jung tapped the window to make jaehyun notice you. the way you behaved was weird for him, because it was too obvious you were avoiding getting seen.

“i don’t care.”

“it means you do.” his father messed his son’s hair. “okay, off you go. i’ll cancel the extra practice today and let all of you rest up during the weekend.”

jaehyun’s lips agape at his father’s last minute decision. he wore his cap and slung his bag. “if you’re doing this and expect i’d make up with her, you’ll regret ever cancelling practice.”

“ah c’mon. your old man is helping you out with a girl. can’t you tell what i’m doing, jae?” he laughed at his son’s reaction. he could see himself in jaehyun and knew things would get better.

“it won’t work dad.”

he rolled his eyes and went to where the bikes were parked. he kicked the stand at the rear wheel when his friends caught up to him with their own bikes. goodness why can’t they just leave me alone? “what do you want?” he stood a little to pedal ahead.

kun rode along beside him, eyes alternating at and on the road. “what now? you’re just going to pretend you didn’t see y/n? like nothing happened?”

“how can i ignore that when her figure’s so obvious and literally running away from here? i’m not going to do anything about-”

jungwoo then sighed heavily, causing jaehyun to knit brows. “she looked over our bus you dimwit! that means she thought of talking to you but held back because of-”

“i’ll talk to y/n in my own terms and in my own time! stop forcing me to do things when you think it would work well for me!” jaehyun pressed on the brakes with his palms.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

kun and jungwoo’s eyes followed your swirling fork and the silent air that had been going for half an hour. they thought knocking onto the doors of jaehyun’s closed heart was hard, never expected yours was harder. you wouldn’t say anything after they invited you, claiming they missed you around them.

because it had been two full semesters since then. from what the boys told you, jaehyun lost focus and couldn’t lead the team to the championships. he always fought with his father and would burst in anger, throwing unnecessary fits towards them even though they worked hard to reach the quarterfinals.

this behaviour would happen so often that it began to strain his relationships with everyone on the team. the transformation did a lot worse to his body, he’d get sick and weak, and for over months, he would not transform back immediately within the golden hour ended. it lasted longer. sometimes even the morning after.

it worried them that if jaehyun given up all hope and continued to act that way, the urge to find the solution would never take place. and that he would remain an animal forever. even so, you knew their intentions to invite you today despite feeling sad for jaehyun. and you prepared your answer before they could speak.

“y/n-”

“as much as i love to stay, i’m here to tell you you’ve wasted your efforts. if jaehyun won’t talk to me.. then i’ll just keep giving him space until he apologises first.” you were already losing appetite talking about it.

“and you think waiting game would pull off too, hm?” kun’s dimple deepened, a flat smile seen on the exterior.

you put down your fork. “i didn’t think we’ll last this long not talking-”

ten smirked in disbelief, you forgot he was there too. his presence was almost non-existent as he kept quiet the whole time. “keep it like that. you’re held accountable for making jaehyun the way he is now.”

“ten!” kun scowled at the guy. “i told you not to talk.”

you rolled your eyes that his words hurt more than the eye roll. “why is he here anyway? you said it’ll only be the two of you. unbelievable.”

“to see if you came up with a solution to lift jaehyun’s curse. looking at you now, i guess you didn’t.” he said and you tried your best to refrain yourself from hitting him. “were you mocking him when you suggested it might be the same answer as that disney film?”

“i said as a joke but it might be a possibility. we live in a world where people go through inexplainable experiences that science couldn’t dive in deep.” you sighed.

jungwoo tapped the table to stop the bickering you and ten were starting. “like my hunch says, maybe it’s another soulmate thing i’ve mentioned to you guys at the camp.”

“it’s not a soulmate thing, jungwoo.” kun and ten said simultaneously.

you brought out an a5 sized sealed envelope and the action alone made the boys stunned. “don’t open this. just give it to him. anyway, the sun’s setting. i really have to go.” you passed the item to kun.

it’s suffocating. i can’t stay here long. they saw how hesitating your limbs were, your eyes averting them and clearing your throat several times.

“ten, does this look like she didn’t do anything? this proves she’s trying.” kun took the envelope and hit it on ten’s head.

as you put on your coat whilst standing next to the table, ten sat back with arms crossed. “acting smart, aren’t you? you really think you’re the belle for jaehyun huh? i wouldn’t believe that for a second.”

“i didn’t say anything about me being the solution. i’m still keeping my promise to help him. and trust me, i don’t think i’m belle either.” you grabbed your bag and left, your food gone cold and jungwoo sighed at the air turning worse thanks to ten.

the cash money was placed on the table when kun called the waiter. “please keep the change.” he looked at your slouching figure by the bus stop across the restaurant. it screamed sadness and hurt all over.

the reason for suddenly leaving wasn’t because you were offended with what ten said. of course there was truth in his words. at some point you thought you were someone important to jaehyun, since you could hear him.

you thought you both were soulmates.

you left because you spotted a familiar figure standing by the door. haven’t been seeing him lately only made you feel angry at yourself. you were a coward, you even passed the envelope to the boys instead of giving it to jaehyun yourself. your friends already encouraged you about it, that that was the only thing to narrow the gap between you and jaehyun. it was to show that you were still supporting him.

why are you like this y/n? if you like him, you’d do anything to get his attention and forgiveness. why are you doing things to push him away, rather.. why are you forcing yourself to not care when you still do?

you continued to walk with your head low for another hour, troubled in your thoughts as they’ve been bothering you for many months. snap out of it y/n-

*tug*

*scratch*

the hems of your baggy jeans were pulled and torn with minimal, adorable force. it took you a while to process the animal before you. a blue bunny, what’s a bunny doing here- oh.

“sungchan?”

—

he rose from the bushes in front of their house. you stood there awkwardly while he figures to cover his body after the blue hour. “i’m sorry for asking you to bring me home. i get tired from hopping sometimes.” he grabbed a towel that he was hanging by the gate.

“no worries. i-i’ve seen- nevermind.” your voice softened at the latter.

sungchan pursed his lips to refrain himself from smiling since he was there and witnessed when it happened. “come in, i’ll make you some tea. it’s my way of thanks.”

although he was kinder than his brother, probably more mature, he was still young that you could see through his intentions. you knew he wanted some patching up done between you and jaehyun. you hesitated for a while, but since you were there already, might as well try to talk to him—

even if there was a slim chance of making things work.

you sat on the sofa, slightly still and awkward being in the residence. little sips, light breathing and the soft wind from the fan were only heard within the living area. “did my brother cause you a lot of trouble during the camp?” sungchan asked and knowing that you were silent, he knew jaehyun probably did. “how about now?”

“actually, i think i’m the one causing more trouble for him because i feel like i’m not doing anything to help when i said i would.” you sighed as he continued to listen.

“really? i heard from the others you’re helping so much that it changed my brother.. at the least he’s not cranky.” his nose twitched so adorably that you thought it was derived from being a bunny almost his whole life. “also, there’s that envelope-” he paused while realising how your expression caught him off guard.

maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned it, but he wanted you to know he wasn’t spying on you. he made that clear with his silence.

if he saw that back at the restaurant, that only meant he was there for quite some time. you let out a small smile that he was probably there not for you, but to wait for his brother’s friends. instead of bumping into them, he bumped into you.

“oh, that. it.. has a bunch of handwritten letters i’ve compiled when i struggled talking to jaehyun. i just felt that maybe it’s more sincere if i had to apologise.. y’know, eventually.”

he pursed his lips and nodded. “then why not put those words into actual words? like verbal words.” sungchan’s fingers pointed upwards, hinting that jaehyun was up in his room. “for all i know it’s the most sincere thing to do.”

crap, he’s not expressive but he’s so so mature for his age. it made you feel inferior for a moment.

“but before you do that, i have to tell you something that my dad and brother missed out about our curse. why jaehyun-hyung is more pressured than i am.”

(few minutes later)

you slid against the wall while sungchan went out to do grocery shopping. at the other side of the door, in between the thin gap, you could hear soft breathing; jaehyun was on his bed, sleeping in his dog form and it hurt you since time already passed both golden and blue hour, he should’ve transformed like his brother did. instead he laid there as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

meanwhile, jaehyun knew you entered his room. he pretended to be sleeping and expected he wouldn’t know how to act when he gets to face you. he decided to stay as he was.

until you pat then caressed his head.

he didn’t want to settle or give in for the fact you loved golden retrievers. he blamed on the shallow euphroria dogs easily feel. and because he was in his dog form, the anger he held for you disappeared. but at the same time, was your touch out of care or pity? he couldn’t figure it out. then he could hear the beats of your heart, and that made him sit up. your heart was fast. it was worrying. it was—

“why didn’t you tell me the whole story?” your voice wavered in heaving breaths as he finally looked you in the eye. his ears twitched and he faced the door, knowing that sungchan told everything.

jaehyun shook his body and whiskers moved before he telepathically answered you. “believe me i tried. i hate myself for being sensitive and i couldn’t bring to tell you because i got angry. but you have to know that i value trust more than anything.”

“you know what’s ironic?” you sighed, pressing your forehead as pain began to form. “you didn’t trust me first and and we fought because you didn’t do that. and you didn’t trust me enough that you only told me what, like 50 percent of it?”

of course he knew what you referred to.

he was going to tell you the day he visited your cottage at camp. but he didn’t get to, because ten told him news ahead of him that it ruined the purpose to talk to you. it wasn’t that he blamed him, it was due to the fact he wasn’t prepared for something like that. even for something like this.

because there was that prophecy weighing on his shoulders.

“sungchan said that it has to directly come from you, so you better tell me now before our friendship falls out.” you warned and leaned back against the headboard.

currently your friendship was on the line, wobbling on tight ropes. pushing you further away would do no good.

jaehyun sat and his paws were dignified into a comfortable position. his head laid on a cushion pillow, facing towards you. “fine. most of my family turns into wild animals, and they couldn’t control themselves in that other form. their wildlife instincts overpowers their thoughts.” he yawned.

“and it’s different for me and sungchan. when we were born, when we had our first full transformation, they were shocked to know we turn into domestic animals. we’re able to remember, think and live as if we’re still humans. at the end, it’s either of us to stop the curse.”

“so why did your brother mention that you’re the most pressured? why did it only have to be you?” this time you spoke, there was more depth into your feelings if you spoke. as sungchan said, verbally was more sincere. “you could share the burden with him.”

he sighed at the tone of your voice. “isn’t it obvious? the role is immediately passed onto me not because i’m the first born.. it’s because you suddenly could talk to me.. telepathically.”

“yeah and we couldn’t even figure that one out yet.” you scoffed remembering the times you’ve placed your efforts on that matter and now it had gone all to waste. all because you both had that fight.

he read through your eyes and sensed the intention from your words. plus he hated how you delivered it with that certain tone. “i didn’t bring this up just to blame you for my own satisfaction!” he groaned. “i brought it up so that i can apologise! i was wrong, okay?! i should’ve listened to you instead of carelessly listening to ten-”

you refrained yourself from showing any further hurt. recalling it would only make you cry. “well you were manipulated with ten’s assumptions. you believed him more than me. he had proof while i didn’t. i was in the losing end! not like i expected you to change your mind. so can we just.. get this overwith and tell me what the prophecy is?”

he was speechless for a while. you being straight-forward yet in a pained voice was too much for him. he was already softening his feelings for you and you had to tense it all up again. “‘only one could save those who lay under the curse, for they must be in the correct peace of mind and body to break it before it turns for worse.’”

“and the ‘worse’ means you won’t transform back anymore?” you asked, the prophecy already piercing your heart as you waited for more explanation.

“that and..” he trailed off. “..we lose our humanity too. we won’t remember anything. memories erased like a snap of the finger. and we’ll just be.. another animal.”

you pushed yourself to sit up as your heart clenched tight. “jaehyun! why say it now and not before?”

“because! what is there for you to do-”

you squished the dog’s into a wrinkly mess, to the point jaehyun couldn’t see anything. his paws tried to put your arms down, but even clawing was hard for him to do. then he felt you lean forward to hug him. “y/n? what’re you doing?” you didn’t answer.

crap, this is warm. it feels.. nice. embarrassed, he put his thoughts at the back of his mind. “are you doing this out of pity? do i look that helpless-”

what crossed his mind was that you thought he needed a hug and was the only thing you could do. but you proved him wrong, so, so wrong. and why didn’t he realise it sooner in his life?

“you have to treat yourself like someone you love!”

what?

“you have to fill yourself with it! have you been thinking half-heartedly or do things half-assed because you’re different from people? do you not realise there are people who loves you? you trust them so less that you’re not confident into breaking the curse! because you didn’t really try!”

he froze in his stance, like a bullet pierced through his chest with how true your point was. he didn’t know what love was when his mother left the family. he didn’t dare to open up with his dad and brother, not his friends as for so long he didn’t do that one important thing— trust.

jaehyun thought he did that. he had enough encouragement but only to the level of content. he didn’t expect more as what else was there for people cursed like his family? “why are you so worried or do this much for me?”

“because no one actually helped you!” your arms tightened around him. “your friends were occupied into thinking that protecting you and your curse from others was the safest thing to do. it’s not! it just gets you self-conscious, conceited and too comfortable to not to do anything at all!” everything you said knocked down the pillars of his pride. he wasn’t at all living in humility if his friends did ever help.

“y/n we’re nothing more than friends. how could you be pushing yourself onto my problems-”

“i’m one of the people, jaehyun. don’t you get it now? i l-”

as if the phone line got cut off, he couldn’t hear the rest. you appeared like a television who lost its voice, however, somehow he knew what came after that. he didn’t want to admit it, after spending time with you at camp, he realised his heart felt the same.

you were quick to catch on. the golden retriever just stared at you, you couldn’t hear him as well. not even telepathically. jaehyun laid back down, ignored you and went to sleep. you nudged him, he wouldn’t move. you felt a swarm of blame towards him. if only he told you earlier, he wouldn’t be in this state where he was just another dog. mostly you blamed yourself for not taking the initiative first to fix things. you went along with your anger and his waiting game.

where did it get you? to this.

the one second revelation he heard from you and then fell into slumber, he was standing in front of himself, before a mirror. a series of himself switching from human to animal throughout the years. the glass cracked over his face. as if he entered a new world, he had to prepare mentally for what was to come.

instead he awoke like he only passed out from exhaustion. to only see you hugging your legs, head down with soft sobs and hiccups, he reached out for you yet hesitated. he checked the time, the golden hour was to arrive.

“y/n.” he called out in a low voice.

“no.” you mumbled. “i shouldn’t be hearing him.”

“but you really are, though.”

you shot your head up, tears rolling down your cheeks when you felt his touch— his large palms holding yours. he transformed, you had many questions as you thought it was too late.

confused and tired, you stared at him blankly. processing the guy before you took a whole minute to realise jaehyun transformed back. “is.. is this a joke?” you coughed and rubbed your tears. “i saw you faint- i saw how you lost the light in your eyes- i saw-”

he’s blushing. his ears are red.

jaehyun pulled you into an embrace, he caressed your head as if he held a newborn. “the curse broke around the time i realised i lacked self-care. it was the same time you said it too.”

looking back, he didn’t treat himself right since the beginning. he realised he shouldn’t have looked for a solution or someone to love him. he was the someone he was looking for, and should’ve reflected on himself than to rely too much on others.

“you’re still hugging me.” you said, stopping his trail of thoughts. you pat his back quickly and he was holding you tight. “you’re squeezing the oxygen out of me.”

“can’t i hold you longer? you’ve been so helpful even when i pushed you away. now i don’t really want to let go.” jaehyun whispered. he never felt something like this before— this urge to love someone. “what if the curse comes back when you go away?”

you felt your head bursting with temperatures your body was experiencing now. “you really have to let go!” clearing your throat, you tried to shove him away.

“no. don’t be stubborn.”

“don’t be clingy, clingy!”

“you want me to hug you though.”

“i do but- wait no that’s not- i-”

he squeezed your face between his hands. “you love me, don’t you. and you said i’m not loveable.” he teased and goodness his dimples shot you at the heart. you kicked him in the chest yet he leaned forwards, closer than usual. “i can feel your veins beating crazily.”

ah for crying out loud! “jung jaehyun.” you called him with a stern and plain voice. “get off me.”

“tsk i said i wouldn’t-”

“jaehyun you’re naked.”

hm? he pulled himself away from you, looked down and covered his lower body. ah heavens- “i’m sorr-”

a thud was heard by the door. you both turned heads to sleepy sungchan dropping a parcel delivered to jaehyun while holding a toothbrush with his mouth and prominent bed hair. “uh bro, this is-”

“dad! i think hyung’s in his mating season!”

“i’m so not!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

because the curse was lifted and jaehyun made it happen, all those who fell under it soon experienced freedom and joy after years of agony and pain and fear. feelings opposite to them showered upon them that morning like spring rain.

you sat in between jaehyun and ten, who haven’t been talking to each since they fought over little things, mainly about you. ten still didn’t believe that you were jaehyun’s girlfriend, because he recalled you guys were not going to mend things.

“so that’s it? it’s so hard to believe. she just hugged you and the curse’s gone? even more so you’re both dating?”

“ten, c’mon dude.” kun brought out his fist to bump yours. “she’ll be hanging with us from now on. you have to stop being a stuck-up.”

ten shrugged in defeat and finally nodded in acceptance. “fine. i’ll let it go. i mean the curse’s broken won’t bother jae anymore.” he turned to you. “i’m sorry y/n. jae and i have been best friends since kindergarten. so it’s kinda a brotherly instinct to protect him. it just comes out.”

“you do seem like the leader of the pack.” you fiddled with jaehyun’s fingers while he draped his arm around you.

“i thought i was the leader?” kun sounded offended, but not entirely.

jaehyun remained quiet. he told everyone what had happened. however, there was still one question left unanswered. what was the telepathy about?

what did it have to do with you and him? he thought about that real hard. were you actually a missing piece in the prophecy or did he misunderstand it? there were a lot of possibilities, a lot of ideas coming up that maybe he figured it wrong. maybe you did contribute to the breaking of the curse-

“ah!” jungwoo exclaimed as flicked the paper back and forth. he proudly showed what he found, putting the pieces together. the paper was moving quickly that the pairs of eyes couldn’t focus or see anything. “i’ve been telling you guys since camp but you wouldn’t listen to me!”

you squinted your hardest to see the words. all you got from the sheet of paper scribbles and connecting lines. the boys started to fight for the so they could read the younger one forcibly shoved in front of their faces.

jungwoo wanted his friends to feel their pride stepped on them, and held on the paper. “read the prophecy again. i’m excited-”

“you being excited about these things is nothing new-” ten yelled, and kun covered his mouth at the loud volume.

“‘only one could save those who lay under the curse, for they must be in the correct peace of mind and body to break it before it turns for worse.’ guys, it’s already hinted in it!” he pointed at the parts he was scribbling on earlier.

he expounded the prophecy was a little misleading. it wasn’t being literal about the right mind and body. they were the results of the having the correct heart, as the two would only be affected greatly if not for the heart.

jungwoo scooted next to you. “y/n, you weren’t only the key to solving it. you were the only person who gave him that push and made him realise he should love himself for who he was. you gave him that peace of mind because you are the heart. as we all know, the mind and body can’t function without the heart.”

“that sounds sweet?” kun blushed even though he wasn’t supposed to.

“yeah sure but the telepathy happening at the same time with my curse was just a coincidence though?” jaehyun asked.

“onto my next point!” jungwoo drew on the paper again. “i realised you told us before that only family members of the same curse can talk to each other telepathically.”

jaehyun’s brows only furrowed narrower. “which doesn’t make sense because she’s not part of my family.”

jungwoo grinned widely, it almost made you nervous but if it was coming from jungwoo, it always had to be something good. “not even us lads can even talk to you with our minds though we’re close like brothers. what if it’s a sign that she will be part of your family? even if the curse’s broken, it still proves my point that you were soulmates all along.”

somehow you knew it was headed to this. what jungwoo’s saying was similar to your hunch. you weren’t confident as he was because at the time, the curse wasn’t lifted. now that it was, you never knew you were actually right.

jaehyun shrunk in his seat after hearing jungwoo’s theory. he looked at you; who was now giggling with the others. he never thought you were his soulmate, it never crossed his mind. you appeared in his life as a shadow at first, before you resurfaced and made it a roller coaster ride. it was an eye opener for him too, you loved him for who he was, his flaws— that being the curse. although there were frequent bickers, that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy or hate them. he was afraid you’d leave after knowing his transformation.

you didn’t. you stayed. not because you were forced to just to keep his secret, you stayed since you said you’d help. and that lifted weight off of his shoulders. colours came into view more spirited, clouded thoughts in his head faded and everything he heard that were once muffled became clear. he had to compare it like he was reborn.

in the end, you were still beside him, adjacent to him.

[nefastum]

Since you already got a question regarding Jan and Efa's relationship with their dads, what's their relationship with Casca like?

Hello there, Anon ♡ Apologies, I felt like writing haha 😅

They are Casca's world. Little pieces of both Griffith and Guts. She still has a hard time believing that two small humans who she can talk to now were once carried within her. She'd heard of pregnancy being a sort of spiritual experience for some expecting people, and there was certainly an aspect of it that felt that way. A bond she couldn't describe. But she really didn't expect just how alien and astonishing it would seem each time. Casca really thought/was hoping that motherhood would instantly kick in some sort of magical instincts/knowledge on how to have and raise kids. But instead she found that learning what to and not do came slowly with a lot of trial by fire– with endless support from her husbands, of course. Guts wouldn't let her walk five steps when she was further along without lovingly reminding her she was being stupid for pushing herself. And Griffith had a lot of book knowledge that was sometimes helpful and sometimes a little off base from her reality-- despite his insistence that he'd read plenty of child rearing/household manuals somewhere to refer to if needed. Both well intentioned ♡

In the end it was a learning experience with both children. Getting to meet them for the first time, watching them become people and grow their own personalities. With Jan, he went from hiding in her apron to running up the walls. All that energy was a lot to take at first, but as he grew older she and he both found an appreciation for quiet time with each other. Sometimes that was watching/counting the stars above them and sometimes it was quietly listening for frogs while they watched the sun set over the lake. He also grew to adore her stories of victory in battle and her knowledge of strategy. One of the few times he didn’t mind practicing his pen form was to try and draw up battle plans for his mother to rate and critique as if they were at a war council at the drafting table. She was an excellent commander and he wanted to learn everything from her.

As for Efa, Casca was at first shocked to have a daughter. A girl wasn't something she was really sure she knew how to handle. Being raised as a mercenary post 12-years-old around almost exclusively men, she was out of her element with all things traditionally 'girly'. But as Efa grew that is exactly what she got. The quiet little princess loved dresses and dolls and having tea parties with her parents. For a while Casca considered if her interests were imposed on her by her fathers' own insistence. Gifting her the said dresses and dolls. But over time the woman realized it was simply what Efa liked. She liked her dolls as much as her toy knights. Her tea sets as much as her little wooden sword. She made flower chains, read books and caught frogs with Jan. Efa was her own person, and rather she be a princess or a knight or a scholar it didn't matter to Casca. Their time together, be it swordplay or dress up, was precious. ♡

[milkttea]

Journey of a Divine Slayer

Chapter 6: Blade go swish

<- Previous • Next ->

Note: Things spoken in dialogue that aren’t Japanese will be in italics and thoughts will always be in italics.

Warnings: canon typical violence, gross descriptions of the scene, reader swearing, Eden watching to see if y'all survive.

Word Count: 1.3k

Demon Slayer x Reader; Female Reader.

All of you looked at the demon with terror. It was one thing to eat people, but to eat one group of people because of who their mentor was, that was truly awful and Tanjiro and you were beginning to boil with rage.

You look to Tanjiro and find him furrowing his brows and gritting his teeth, slowly you put your hand on his wrist lightly and keep it there for a couple seconds before slowly moving it back to your side and moving your wrists that the feathers you have hidden in your arm sleeves move to a looser position.

The demon continues with his boasting as you both continue to silently rage at the awful descriptions of what he did to the children that he unfairly sought out.

"Speaking of which, the ones that left me with the most impression was this pair of kids," the demon mutters out loud, "and of those two the kid with the rare hair color was the strongest."

'Sabito,' you thought to yourself sadly.

Tanjiro stood with a unreadable expression as the demon continued with his tangent.

"He had a head covered with pink hair and a scar on one of the corners of his mouth.”

Immediately a mental image of Sabito appeared in Tanjiro’s and yours minds. You could only get more and more upset as the demon looked proud of what he had done to them.

“The other was a little girl wearing flower patterned clothing. Even though she was small and not very powerful, she was quick and light with her movements.”

‘Makomo,’ you and Tanjiro thought.

Tanjiro, however, looked perplexed as he remembered seeing them at Urokodaki’s home. They even trained him to be able to succeed in the first place!

The demon, seemingly not realizing the mounting anger within Tanjiro and the deathly calm surrounding you, despite you being very angry.

“That fox mask is a mark. I remember the style Urokodaki uses when carving the masks. The tengu mask he wears is carved the same way.”

Tanjiro clenches his blade a little tighter at that, while you glare up to the demon through your hair. You send a quick glance to the boy behind you as he takes the hint and starts to slowly make his escape.

“It’s called a 'mask of disaster prevention' or something right? It was because they were wearing it, that they were eaten.”

Tanjiro shakes with anger as the demon proudly boasts of his murders.

“They’re all in my stomach. It’s as if Urokodaki killed them himself.”

You grip your hilt as you seethe with rage as the demon laughs at how he killed your friends.

“How dare you laugh at the pain you’ve caused!” You shout, “you’ve ended innocent lives! Just because of a mask?”

The demon merely continues to laugh as he continues.

“When I said these words, that little girl was so angry, she had tears shining at the corners of her eyes.”

He continues laughing, his hands covering his mouth as he laughs with unfiltered glee., his gaze soon shifts to you.

"Much like there are tears in yours."

Looks of hatred filled your faces. as the demon continued on describing how he dismembered the poor girl. The second he finished his awful boasting, Tanjiro dashed forward and cut and slashed the hands that came to him as he neared the demon.

You jumped back as a hand came near you and ran. jumping from tree to tree to try and evade the hands that continued to come towards you.

"Tanjiro! Don't think about what happened to them! Do you really want their deaths to lead to your own? Live for them!"

You shouted, rearing your hand back and throwing it forward as some of Eden's feathers flew into the demons arm and caused it disintegrate. Tanjiro was momentarily stunned by your words. Getting smacked by the demon and into a tree, rendering him semi-unconscious, you dashed and rolled forward cutting the arms of the demon that got too close to him.

The boy that you both had been protecting runs away, seeing his chance with both of you being occupied. You continue to fight off some hands as Tanjiro slowly stirs awake, his brother yelling for him to wake and fight spurring his alertness.

He wakes just as you look at him, getting momentarily distracted and end up getting smacked into a tree. This sends you into a daze as you skid on your side from the attack, your leg getting scratched up. Tanjiro uses this as a chance to attack the demon and deter it away from you.

He finds himself in a difficult position as you are too delirious to help and finds it difficult to fight this demon as his hands just keep growing back. He notices a strong scent from the ground and jumps just in time to avoid an attack from multiple hands.

The demon takes this chance to send a straightforward attack to Tanjiro, which he deflects with a hit to the hand from his forehead. This leaves the demon defenseless, but confident Tanjiro can't kill him.

Elsewhere in the forest next to Urokodaki's home, two spirit's converse.

"So, Tanjiro and (Y/N) are going to lose after all? Its head is really tough," the youngest of the spirits says with disappointment and sadness in her tone.

The older spirit, sitting on the stone Tanjiro split doesn't respond at first. Seemingly contemplating his response before saying, "Might lose, might win. But there is only one truth right here in front of us, and that is."

He places his palm flat on the split stone, "Tanjiro is the only man that was able to slice open the toughest and hardest rock thus far and that girl..."

Back with Tanjiro and his fight with the hand demon, he yells as he unleashes the First Style: Water Surface Slice, slicing the demons head clean off.

The demon couldn't react as a memory came to him of a time long past of when he first encountered Urokodaki and that style of breathing. At this moment Tanjiro runs to your side to wake you and help you with your injuries while the demon stares on as he helps you up.

"Are you alright?"

Worry etched on his face as you wince at the scratches on your leg that weren't protected by your socks.

"Just a scratch, Tanjiro, I'll be fine."

Youdirect your attention to the deteriorating demon with sad eyes, Tanjiro following you. Even if the demon has killed many other slayers and humans, it is still sad that he was manipulated by Muzan and forced to live the rest of his semi-immortal life locked up here after being caught by Urokodaki. You couldn't imagine how sad he was when first turned, to then turn to this monster with no empathy.

'Why do you have that expression on your faces?'

The demon stares at you both with tears in his eyes, not used to being shown compassion at this point in his long, long life. Especially from demon slayers.

With you now a little patched up, both you and Tanjiro move closer to the demon slowly turning to ash and blowing away with the turning of time. His hand slowly extends out as his mind cries with the memories of a brother he had long forgotten.

Tanjiro is the first to move as he grabs the demon's hand, you slowly make your way to the hand as well, and place one of Eden's feathers in it.

"May you live a better life and find your peace," you say as Tanjiro stares with a sad look on his face, making his own prayer for the demon.

The hand demon passes on, hand in hand with his brother. Hopefully onto a better life where he won't be plagued by the terrors that he faced in this one.