#it's terrifying when JMS does it

[therighthandofvengeance]

similarity is not a requirement for the exercise of compassion

similarity is not a requirement for the exercise of compassion

similarity is not a requirement for the exercise of compassion

similarity is not a requirement for the exercise of compassion

similarity is not a requirement for the exercise of compassion

similarity is not a requirement for the exercise of compassion

similarity is not a requirement for the exercise of compassion

similarity is not a requirement for the exercise of compassion

similarity is not a requirement for the exercise of compassion

[carrotpiss]

This is a bunch of sad lost and confused and frustrated and lonely sludge, advise not reading

[whocaresstillthelouvre]

Tide

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Female Reader Rating: Explicit. 18+ (Minors DNI) Summary: Frankie Morales is capable of almost anything... except not cumming in his jeans when he thinks about you, the pretty clerk at the grocery store he always buys his giant jugs of laundry detergent at. Warnings: Smut thoughts, Frankie's POV and internal monologue, premature ejaculation, so much cum talk, addiction recovery, laundry detergent, this is so ridiculous but I also tried to make it super sweet. Words: 1,200

A/N: I'd probably classify this as a crack fic... but with heart. This is SOOOOO indulgent and ridiculous. I don't know what @luxurychristmaspudding unlocked in me but this is what's released. I know this is my *4th* story in a week, but I couldn't help myself. Also, shout out to the JM Discord and all of the tenants who join in the luxuriousness of this level of depravity.

Masterlist

🚁👖🤍Frankie🤍👖🚁

It keeps happening to Frankie over and over and over again. Recovery has been a challenge, abstaining from all of his previous vices means he’s no longer numbing his mind… and body. 

Nobody should ever cum during a prescription commercial and yet… he does. The swimsuit hugged the woman’s curves a little too close, plus she had the same color hair as you. His mind couldn’t help floating to thinking about you in a swimsuit.

Aye dios mio, get a hold of yourself man.

He’s too embarrassed to bring it up to his doctor. The notion of ever mentioning it to the Delta Force boys terrifies him, although he knows deep down they’d lend a sympathetic ear. They’ve killed, fought wars, and climbed out of the lowest points of their lives together… but the thought of letting his secret out? Awful. He shudders at the thought of telling his fellow Narcotics Anonymous attendees: “Hi, my name is Frankie, I’m an addict and I can’t stop cumming in my pants.”

He tries to think of the worst things, mental images that should scar even the scariest of humans, thoughts about death, rotting produce, weird looking insects, and yet, it still happens.

___

“Hi, how’d you find everything today?”

He blinks towards your tag though he’s already memorized your name, it repeats through his mind whenever he climaxes… he wonders to himself how your sweet voice would sound repeating his name. 

Uh oh, quick, think of a bee sting, everyone’s going to die, burnt pizza. 

He shakes his head, the thoughts of you wrapped around him flying out of his head with each subtle knock. 

“Sir, are you okay?”

Fuuuuuuck, you really had to call me sir, didn’t you?

“Y-yeah, sorry, long day. My name’s Frankie by the way.”

Focus, don’t look at how her hand wraps around the shampoo bottle, soldier. 

“Hi Frankie, nice to finally have a name to the face.”

Of course you say his name in the sweetest way. He presses his fingers into the flesh of his palm as hard as he can withstand, he prays you don’t see the way his nostrils flare.

Be strong.

He’s been captivated ever since he first saw you working in the mom and pop market across the street from his apartment. You’re always friendly and smiling, he swears he feels your eyes on him every time he leaves yet he’s too scared to look back and confirm for himself. He wishes he knew how to small talk and somehow step over the threshold of this case of shyness he has with you. 

Why bother? I’ll just end up disappointing you, never leaving you fulfilled. 

He’s so ashamed. 

“That’s a big bottle of detergent, you must do a lot of laundry. You have kids?” 

“I do… a four year old, but she lives with her mom,” he answers, lifting the giant jug into his cart, his cock twitches when he feels your eyes on his biceps. 

Stay cool, you can do this, you’ve literally overcome worse… and cummed over less.

He wonders if you notice just how much laundry soap he buys… he’s confident that you have no clue you're the only reason why his washing machine is constantly working overtime. 

“Oh, I love that age,” you mindlessly muse scanning a cereal box. “Is she as cute as her dad?”

His spine turns to jelly… he feels the phantom getting closer. 

Trash compactors, mom and dad’s divorce, elephant seals.

“Everyone says she has my eyes.”

“Then she must be,” you wink.

Not a wink, not a wink, not a goddamn wiiiiink. 

He quickly pulls his head down, sticking his card in the chip reader, resisting the urge to think of his now aching cock pushing into you. 

STOP. STOP. STOP THINKING FRANKIE.

Focusing on the pin pad breaks his spiral. Relief spreads through his tense body knowing this run in will be over soon, he can go home in peace, his pants surviving this moment.

Your fingers brush against his hand when you hand him the receipt, his favorite part of buying groceries. He’ll stand in your checkout lane no matter the size of the line for the split second of skin to skin contact. It’s all he can afford to let himself have, any more would surely stain his jeans. 

___

“Hey Frankie!” 

He turns at your voice, his breath hitching when you walk over to him while removing your name tag.

“Want to go next door and grab a drink?”

“I’d love to… but I, uh,” he lifts his hat nervously tussling his hair, “I’m in recovery.” 

“Oh,” your voice and face falter, “I’m sorry, um–”

Don’t let this moment pass, you can do it.

“I know a really good ice cream place, a few blocks down, I can meet you there?” 

Ice cream means licking. Frankie, you're an idiot.

“Oh, um, that sounds amazing but I don’t drive.”

“I can take you… if you’d like.” 

“Yeah?” your smile grows wider. “That sounds amazing.”

“I just need to drop these off, and then I’ll meet you outside in twenty?”

“Awesome!” You squeeze his hand wrapped around the cart handle. “I’ll see you soon.” 

Your touch scorches his skin, he blinks watching your ass sway while walking through the doors to the backroom. 

1-2-3, a gush of hot liquid releases against his jeans, his knuckles turn white as they clutch the cart handle.

Jesus Christ.

Frankie picks up his bags, holding them close to his crotch and leaves the grocery store. He better hurry. Thank god he just bought more detergent. 

___

In hindsight, he’s thankful for his little grocery store indiscretion. He’s carefree and relaxed as he falls even harder for you over chocolate sundaes. You ask for extra rainbow sprinkles and laugh at all of his jokes. 

This must be what it’s like to live normally.

___

“That’s me,” you point to a small bungalow unbuckling your seatbelt. “Thanks for the ice cream Frankie."

“This was really fun,” he turns towards you, shocked at how close you’re leaning towards him. 

Kiss her. No, wait, don’t kiss her. Yeah, definitely don’t kiss her. 

“It was,” you lick your lips and lean even closer. 

He can smell you now, you smell divine. Like ice cream and floral perfume. 

You place a soft kiss against his lips and pull away.

Frankie’s body tenses, a pathetic whimper escapes his mouth, he spurts against the cotton of his briefs. Doe eyes rounded with embarrassment stare at you.

“Sorry,” whispers out of his downturned lips. 

“Oh,” your face fails at hiding a smile, “Frankie, it’s okay. Really.”

His head knocks against the headrest, face frozen in a grimace, his eyes squeezed shut. 

“Frankie,” your hand clasps his chin forcing him to look at you. “Honestly, it’s okay. It’s actually… kinda hot.”

Right then and there he knows he’ll never shop at another grocery store again. 

[not-goldy]

Letter lyrics hitting me hard in the face right now & make even more sense now. "Don't worry, just stay by my side. We don’t know what the future holds. And that’s scary and makes us afraid, But don’t forget that we’re always together." Jikook have probably had this enlistment together thought out for a long time. They're scared, but they know they have each other, even in their darkest days. My blood pressure cannot handle this.

Jikook would rather serve together, endure all the challenges & all the risks, then to be without EO. I don't have words, honestly. The first few weeks of training are the hardest. The training & adjustment to military life/schedule. It takes a toll on you mentally & Jikook chose EO to go through it with. They had options to do alone or even do with Tae, both of them did, but they chose EO. They did it to rely on EO for comfort And shippers who are mad, wanna downplay their decision & make excuses cause its not your ship that you were begging to enlist together. Sorry You can't. No excuses this time. If this is true & it really does happen I think a lot of people will slowly open their eyes to Jikook. This isn't something small, its a big life decision they made together, to be together, to serve together, even if its only for the first few weeks in the beginning (which are the hardest). They wanna get through the hard time together. Its either gonna break them having to watch each other go through all that horrendous stuff both mentally and physically or its gonna make them stronger or both. Jk's biggest challenge will be trying to not intervene. We see how Jk flinches if JM jumps up and sometimes jumps up with him on instinct. Resisting the urge to take over for JM if something is too hard, something Jk has done for years, but they'll get through it. They're professionals & knows the other can handle themselves.

Also, saying Jkk are making this out to be a honeymoon. FUCK YOU. This is what y'all were doing for months about your own ship and wanting them to enlist. Vmin shippers, minimoni shippers, Tkk & YM shippers. Wanna see the receipts, cause I got them. Actually, we crying, throwing up and fucking terrified for Jikook, even if they do go together. Unlike you all, we support two queer men who are going into an extremely homophobic environment with an already target on their back. Shame on you for not even mustering up enough love in your heart to support them the way deserve. You will be the ones to burn and rot and hell, not us. Your souls will never see heaven. I promise you. Just know Jikook's love, whatever type of love it is, outweighs your hate and there is nothing you can do about it.

Listen.... you are talking bout Jimin's lyrics.

This is Jungkook:

we'll survive the test of time

They can't deny our love

They can't divide us, we'll survive the test of time

I promise I'll be right here

Standing next to you

Standing in the fire next to you, oh

You know it's deeper than the rain

It's deeper than the pain

When it's deep like DNA

Something they can't take away, ayy

Take-take-take-take-take-take off

golden like the sun and the moon (you already know)

YES JUNGKOOK WE KNOW KILL US WITH THE SHIP STREET PARLANCE 💜 FINISH US MORTAL KOMBAT STYLE

HOLD MY WIG ANON

You don started something

Now I gotta cook. Hold on

[nightswithkookmin]

Hey it's been a while, missed your blunt rants and opinions.

Today something just came into my mind when my boyfriend said I'm so bluntly flirty, upfront and bold but when it comes to it being initiated back to me, I usually back out and became shy and reserved. Then I wondered because although Jungkook is shy he can be bold and upfront flirty sometimes too so

Who do you think between him and Jimin is more dirty minded, most to get horny and that can randomly talk about sex and all?

Because I feel like Jungkook is just a small bunny you know all doe eyes and innocent baby while Jimin is more like daddy vibes😅😁

Sometimes I get confused with their dynamic roles in the relationship because at times I would say Jimin is more in the in control role, decision making kinda think but then it changes and I can't exactly tell when and how

That's because they are both flirty and dirty minded and shock the pants off eachother- which is good cos sometimes pants can get in the way of - never mind

I think you are right to assign Jm the decision making role in their dynamic- he's a natural at it being a libra and all that jazz. Then he's the hyung coupled with his high emotional IQ and life experiences especially as a hyung to his own bio bro- there's a reason women make better leaders than men ya know? It's not all about brains, heart matters too.

Fun fact, Jimin once said(drew) if he became a ruler he'd have all his hyungs bow down to him and worship him- except for Jungkook whom he'd coddle like feathery baby- which is odd cos outta the six it is Jungkook whom he had trouble bending to the knee. Couldn't even get him to treat him as a hyung and yet he's the one that gets a pass- even when he is in his ego he shows his heart, love compassion and a weakness for his Maknae( whom he drew as crying like a little bitch in his sketch💀)

On the freaky scale, honey it's a tie between those two I'd say. I love Jimin and he's my bias but sorry he's the freakiest dude I've come across on the internet 😭

And Jeon Jungkook can hold his own too😭😭😭😭

Smooth criminals🥲

There's a reason they both be shitting their pants when the other is dominating their 'fan service' moment or initiating it on stage. Jungkook had Jimin's knee wobbling with that last one

Havent seen that man so terrified of another man in his personal space the gay panic was real bless his heart🤧

Please don't let me think about them poking their tongues at eachother thinking they fast- ah shit

Now I'm going over every freaky thing they've done as if checking off items on my grocery list😭😭😭😭

The beauty about jikook is they challenge the cis heteronormative lens and the fact you feel you can't place them in a strict and set or defined box slash role makes me so happy because you shouldn't be able to put them in any set binary positions because they are a SAME SEX DUO😭

They are both complex human beings both intelligent and affectionate within their own right. Just because Jimin is the elder of the two and is predisposed to being treated as such which puts him in a position where he constantly have to call the shots don't mean he's carved out that niche for himself within their dynamic.

And just because Jungkook is the youngest of the two don't mean he can't make decisions for the two. He can and he should. He has my full support on that- Jimin can be a little dish out-can't take-dude sometimes.

And we see this play out in the little things- Jimin whispering to Jungkook asking if he wants to do something, Jungkook nodding or shaking his head at whatever it is Jimin asked just him.

Then sometimes he's not asking Jk, he's telling, he's reasoning with him, imposing on him- like grabbing him, pushing his limits, glaring at him, directing him, commanding him and Jungkook let's him.

Then JK on the other hand- he doesn't say much, you don't see him consulting or trying to reason through decisions with Jimin- he's not asking Hey JM would like my jacket you seem cold, he's just commanding him to take it because he's cold. He's not asking, do you want help with that box it looks heavy, he's taking it from him whether Jimin likes it or not because he's a gentleman.

He isnt much of a negotiator like Jimin is. And that's what makes them unique from any other ship. This dynamic they have- and its unique to Jikook and Jikook alone. I don't see Jk like this with anybody else.

And I wouldn't say that makes JM better than him or vice versa because it boils down to differences in their personalities. they express themselves in different ways because they are different.

Gosh, I wish you could see the images in my head whenever I'm writing about them like this. Its one moment after the other, It would make so much sense to yall.

Also permit me to overstep, most times I find persons who are able to flirt shamelessly but act shy when they are being treated the same do so out of one or a combination of the following reasons: self projection. They project themselves on the other person and judge themselves from that perspective. So they might be thinking damn that's so cringey, do I look this cringy when I do it etc. They shy because they self criticizing.

Then there are those who don't project necesarily but still engage in critiques and judgements of the situation especially if they think they themselves are better at flirting than their partner, or if they think their partner is doing too much, going outside their personality, faking things, copying them, or just being cringe. They shy because they embarrassed.

The opposite of that is putting your partner on a pedestal and thinking damn they hot, or they good at this, almost idolizing them in a way that inspires you to be more like them because you find whatever it is attractive and want to attract them too. They shy cos they whipped. (This is the case with Jikook I think or perhaps a mixture of both)

So in your case do you feel that's what's happening when your bf initiates? Do you feel shy because he's good at it and that gives you butterflies or do you feel shy because you think they cringe as hell? 👀

I'm asking for science.

[cha-faile]

Edit: I will not re-post this to the correct blog, this just lives here as a monument to my glee!

B5 s02e19 Divided Loyalties Table of Contents • previous episode

Delenn: "I find the notion of the press a…fascinating, but sometimes troubling concept."

I find the notion that the Minbari don't have press to be a fascinating but potentially troubling concept!

The machine that dispenses Universe Today but requires that you confirm your identity to get a paper is wild. Does it give different papers to different people?

Delenn: "It is good to know what your people are thinking and saying about my people. And, uh, I often learn things about my own world before I'm told what I need to know and no more."

She is so cute!! And so crafty!! I liked Delenn from The Gathering, but I like her more and more whenever she appears.

A flood on a space station seems like it could get really really bad, really really fast.

I once read a hilarious fanfic where some Star Wars characters traveled to B5 and bought a shitload of data crystals, which turned out to be kyber, and this reminded me of that.

When I was looking up what the episode was called, I saw that Lyta-from-the-Gathering would be coming back and I'm so excited for this! I hope she and Talia get along.

asddkhfsdkfh what was that little shimmy?? Cool alien, hilarious shoulder wiggles.

Sheridan: "oh, I miss trees…." Garibaldi, from Mars: "……" *yeah, so anyway changing the subject now*

Talia: It's hard to believe it's taken us so long to get to this point. Two years. Susan: Well, you didn't exactly make it easy. Talia: Me? how 'bout you? Susan: I'll have you know I've been nothing but compassionate and understanding. I mean, all you had to do was admit that you were wrong and I was right and everything would be fine!

LMAO.

Sleepover? Sleepover!!! GAY GIRLS GO

Susan: "I'd like the company."

Yeah I'd like her company, too. *eyebrow waggle*

Wow, Lyta had a rough arrival! Maybe she can sleep over with Susan and Talia, too. *eyebrow waggle*

Go Lyta Go. I support unhinged women wielding surgical tools.

Poor Lyta has spent years being distrusted and interrogated by psicorps for what she saw in Kosh's mind. I'd be pretty twitchy after that, too! Their tender loving care seems like it would be the exact oppposite.

She is even hotter than she was in the Gathering.

OK, love the exposition about the fucked up things psi corps can do with people's brains. Fucking terrifying. Implant a personality below their personality, that emerges and destroys the original when the right time comes around. Moles that don't know they're moles. Very uncool of PsiCorps.

Lyta is SO paranoid, but I suspect she isn't being paranoid enough. She's shockingly tolerant of being placed in secure holding. I don't think I'd agree to be literally imprisoned that readily. She hasn't done anything but come out of anesthesia swinging surgical tools after being imprisoned by PsiCorps for two years.

Delenn!!!

Sheridan: Why is it every time you finally get things calmed down and everything's going great life decides to kick you in the butt? Delenn: …but what?

That really got me and I lol'ed. Good use of idioms and miscommunication! Love it. She wasn't taught slang because it was considered innapropriate for a member of the religious caste.

Delenn: I butt, you butt, he or she butts… Sheridan: NO. No, it's… Delenn: Butt-butt. Sheridan: you sound like a motorboat. Delenn: Motor butt?

I continue to cackle. OK, I finally ship them. They reeled me in!

Hold her hand back you fucking monkey!!

The debates and counter-intelligence and fact checking is A+. Damn you JMS for making me like Garibaldi via the excellent Garibaldi-Sheridan interactions. :|

Sleepover date!! I am so excited. Susan knows how to woo a woman: with a real, hot-water shower. It would work on me.

More good exposition. Talia knew Lyta, she was six months behind Talia at the academy. She was nice, sweet. They were close at one time. *eyebrow waggle*

It speaks very well of Lyta that she hated her PsiCop internship and went commercial instead.

"So I've come to the decision that there's only one person on this station that I can trust implicitly…" *gets in Susan's personal space and stares at her lips* "…you." *almost touches Susan with bare fingers* me: *goes absolutely fucking feral*

Why tf is Lyta a prisoner?! I ask a-fucking-gain. This is ridiculous, and exposes her and her mission to the goddamn EarthCorps brown shirts!

Yeah, well obviously someone wanted to shoot at her when she was being transferred! This is why she should be having a gay-ass sleepover with Talia and Susan right now!

At least they don't think Lyta instigated the attack on herself. They're ass-backwards about this. She shows up with news of a secret, they imprison her where any security staff could find out, including the goddamn leak she was talking about, and then Sheridan is mad and shocked someone knew she was there with critical info. C'mon, dude.

Also Susan, <3, Sheridan is right about one thing, this isn't a scan to object to, it's just her projecting a code word to see if anyone reacts.

Talia: "I woke up last night and you were gone." Me: [beast shaking toy in mouth.jpeg]

O.o WHAT IS SUSAN LYING ABOUT. Is she telepathic???? It's my long-running headcanon about her! Please be telepathic, please be. If we get to find out that her mom used her telepathy to hide Susan's powers that would be EVERYTHING to me.

If only Na'Toth and Laurel were in this episode also being badasses it would be the greatest of all time.

c'mon telepathic Susan! C'mon!! omfg I'm almost vibrating.

"…and then, every once in awhile, I was the one who touched her mind."

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP FUCK YES I AM WELL FED THIS EPISODE

"…I'm a latent telepath."

FUCKING WINNING

Now Sheridan just needs to not be an idiot about this. Obviously she hid it, who wants to be fucking gangpressed into PsiCorps?!

Good job, Sheridan. Minimal shittiness achieved. And I know I'm completely fucking feral about Susan/Talia but it's so perfect that Susan is so close to Sheridan that he's the first person she tells about her hidden talent.

Smart of Garibaldi to hand over his piece before being not-scanned. What a fucker tho, faking them out. hahah.

also please don't be the mole, Ivanova. I don't want anything bad to have happened to her, ever, but since plenty has, I don't want any more!!

After all these people have been cleared, I think Ivanova will probably just agree to being cleared. She will want to know. Maybe she would let Lyta tell Talia the password and let Talia password her?

I do like Sheridan's theory earlier talking to Garibaldi that the second in command who shot Garibaldi in the back was the mole.

Ahhhh Ivanova did change her mind. And she's clean!

Lyta: I'm sorry Susan: Go to hell.

That's my girl.

Oh man!! I didn't even think to suspect Talia! Fuuuuuuuck, and she's all telekinetic'ed up, too!! Oh, damn it. I don't like this at all.

or do I? There's plenty of whump to be had. hm.

You know what I really don't like, this boys-only confab. Ivanova is the second in command of the entirety of B5 and she's not present for the strategy meeting. Uncool.

Ahhhh it's all coming together for Garibaldi. Wow, they really have been seeding this plotline for the whole show!! Cool Hat Man Mind Empty No Thoughts Only Hat wasn't just fun filler!

The Talia that Susan knew definitely has to be in there! They haven't kissed yet! And I need that!!

Oh, this is chilling!! The angst! The whump!! Susan!!!

I think it would be really funny if the sub-personality didn't understand homosexuality and therefore has no idea real!Talia was in love with Susan and vice versa.

OK now I weirdly ship Lyta/Kosh.

"I never told them, I never told anyone. I hid it all away in the smallest, tiniest corner of my mind. They could have killed me and they still wouldn't have found it. Only at night, alone, would I open that small door in my mind where I kept the memory of you and listened to your voice. Listened to you sing me to sleep. I hope I can come back again, but I don't know. Until then, Kosh, I want to see you again. Just one more time before I go."

Lyta's a bonafide monsterfucker. What a great note to end this on!

My thoughts right now are: "Hnnnnnngggggshshshcsagfjkaldsf yes." Good episode! My favorite of the season so far! I can't wait to see how all this plays out!! I may make some gifs and do a gif-post of this ep later. So many good shots!

this next one is posted to the correct blog, hah.

[malrie]

the only thing that really annoys me is how little autonomy they give her when it was her own freaking story. and if you are a modern woman writer doing that to this girl when some white male writer years ago somehow wrote her even better than you did that’s a problem. it takes me about 3 pages in every retelling (not that I try out a lot) to know, yes this writer did no research or even READ the novel “Peter Pan and Wendy” by JM Barrie

bc tell me why tf you don’t know 1) Peter remembers her and actively knows she’s a grownup (he remembers her years later instead of hook AND tinker bell. GOES TO HER WEDDING!) 2) Peter ISNT evil please lord.. he is just selfish as a child indulging in their wishes would be. he isn’t actively thinking I’m going to be evil tho he does arguably terrifying things only bc he doesn’t know better 3) (specific gripe w a book i just skimmed) why would you think Wendy is stuck on neverland and wishes to go back. Why did you put her in an asylum afterwards. idc if this is a retelling the point is SHE MOVES ON she is happy she is motivated and has a future and DOESNT NEED neverland anymore!!! SHELL WRITE A BOOK IN THREE PARTS !!!!!! It was Peter barred from her world by the end of the book not the other way around. Get real

The way wendy is replaced in so many many retellings by random ocs or she’s made to be the stupid ancestor in a weird creepy lineage of girls Peter preys on is so wild to me. Feminism left wendy darling behind for reallllll

for the millionth time on here .. I DO NOT care about ur Peter Pan retellings without Wendy Darling literally who do you think u are…. hook having 82848 books is soooooo crazy. actually at this point I rly dont even care abt Peter centered things give me my fav little fictional white girllllll

[thevindicativevordan]

You've mentioned it before a handful of times, bit do you have any in-depth thoughts on JMS' tenure on Spider-Man? Were you fan of the more mystical stories?

Huge fan, it was my gateway into 616 Spider-Man. All the best and worst facets of Spider-Man, and his handling by Marvel, can be found here.

The highs are some of the best in the franchise's history. Within this run we get a Peter Parker who really does feel like an adult. He's mature, wanting to help guide the next generation by being a teacher. He solves conflicts with his brain as well as his fists, gets angry as hell, but also never loses touch with the source of compassion that makes him a hero. Drama and comedy flow smoothly together, this run has the second best handle on Peter's "voice", only beaten by the original Lee/Dikto/Romita Sr. run. Incorporating some mystical elements into Peter's origin didn't bother me as I saw it as a cool attempt at widening the scope of Spider-Man's adventures, and Ezekiel was an interesting character who stood as an example of what Peter could have been if he had never lost his uncle. We didn't get as many stories with the classic Spidey Rogues as I would have liked, but I enjoyed stories like Peter and Doc Ock briefly teaming up, or Spidery having to deal with Doom and Loki.

Romita Junior isn't to everyone's taste but he was born to draw Spider-Man, and not just because of his dad. Nobody else can capture the visuals of dudes getting the absolute shit hammered out of each other when they're fighting, an aesthetic perfect for Spider-Man. Morlun outlived JMS' run when not many expected him too partly because Romita Jr. sold you that this guy was a big deal, that he pushed Spider-Man to his limits in a way few other Rogues had ever done. Kid me reading this run for the first time was legitimately shocked and scared when I saw Spidey all torn up and bleeding after going a few rounds with Morlun. Love Romita Jr.'s art, he's as perfect a match for Spider-Man as his dad was.

Peter’s relationships with the traditional women in his life have never been better than this run either.

Both Aunt May and Mary Jane have regressed since this run hard. JMS had Aunt May outright tear apart the bullshit argument that her knowing Peter's secret would be "too much" for her, by pointing out that May has been through so much pain and loss already and kept going. I loved the mother-son relationship between the two here, May here is everything that people pretend the Kents are for Superman. She's a source of wisdom that doesn't feel hokey, a foundation of strength that gives Peter the ability to stand up again when he's been kicked down. Hate it so much that they reverted to her not knowing and only existing as a cheap source of drama for Peter again.

Meanwhile the Peter/MJ relationship? Odd as it might be to say it's never been better than it was here. The two of them are funny, constantly trading banter with each other. When they're hurt they'll cry and talk about how they feel without devolving into shouting matches or blaming each other. Two of them are sexy too, constantly flirting with each other and letting you know that these are two young people in total love with one another. There's a maturity in this relationship that I've yet to see in any other Spider-Man romance, a shared sense of history that binds the two of them together in ways that make you understand why people lost their minds when Marvel broke them up. This is the run that sold me on MJ as Peter's soulmate, ironic I know, but I'm not alone in that view I've found.

Most impactful part of the run for me might surprise you. It's not when he gets the shit beat out of him by Morlun, terrifying as that is. It's not when he travels through time and has to fight through every battle he's ever fought amazing though that might be. It's not even when he gets to meet Uncle Ben again, despite that never failing to make me tear up. Instead it's the story right before One More Day where Peter has to commit a series of felonies in order to keep Aunt May safe because his identity is public knowledge and everyone is gunning for him now. That small story where Peter is internally keeping track of every crime he has to commit, and the jail time that would come with it if he gets caught, is peak Spider-Man to me. Nothing else has ever hit as hard in terms of showing how Peter's heroic identity just destroys his personal life, but his love for his aunt and Mary Jane give him the strength to push forward.

Which of course brings us to the bad, and the bad is on par with the Clone Saga in terms of being some of the worst Spider-Man stories ever. You want to see Marvel's obsession with keeping Peter young at it's dumbest? Here's the run where he sells his marriage to Satan. You want to see some examples of Quesada letting writers take wild swings because it would grab attention? Here's the run where Gwen cucks Peter with Norman Osborn and then plans on lying to Peter that he's the father of her twins. People claim that Superman is hard to write, but the sheer volume of outright GARBAGE I've seen published in Spider-Man's books have convinced me that is a claim more true of Spider-Man than any other character. How the most popular Marvel character, and likely the most popular superhero period, is constantly suffering under terrible, regressive storytelling baffles me.

The JMS era was an era where Spider-Man was moving forward only to end by regressing and freezing him into place, a status quo that has essentially held true ever since. Do I recommend his run? Yeah I do because for all the dross, this run even now contains many all time great Spider-Man moments, and this is the run that even now delineates where modern Spider-Man "begins". Whether those are enough to outweigh the negatives are ultimately going to be up to the reader, but much like Morrison for Batman, JMS and Quesada are the definitive modern Spider-Man creators for better and for worse.

[outplacedwriter]

@not-wholly-unheroic

I'm answering you in a new post because the original one is already huge, hope it won't be a problem!

My biggest point in the original post was to highlight the inadequacy of this kind of literature being freely available for children and the faults of the author in the way he chose to tell the story. Also, the fact that I've never seen anyone discuss it before -- apparently there were people talking about it, but in the real world, the general audience does not know that the canon is violent and problematic. That's where my concern lies.

Peter being inherently grey, good or bad, really doesn't matter in the end because -- even if made me personally shocked and heartbroken -- my concern wasn't for myself, it was for my little cousin who might pick up this book to read and face the type of story that JM Barrie chose to tell. Not an appropriate story at that.

I am mostly questioning this book's "child" division.

About the dog analogy, I have my problems because a dog's intellectual ability is much different from a human's, even a human child. I don't think it's a fair comparison, but I get that you were trying to evoke Peter's eccentric behavior. Which again -- is a terrifying, disgusting behavior -- but gets treated as something quirky and cool. JM Barrie does not treat Peter as a grey character.

No one puts Peter Pan in a kid's hand and thinks about talking with the child about how violence is wrong, how women aren't just supposed to be moms and cleaning ladies, and how native people are not savages.

On the feminist note, every time we bring up the concern about women being forced into traditional roles, people like to repeat the: "but feminism is about what women want, if she wants to be a mom it's fine!". We aren't discussing that women shouldn't take traditional roles anymore, we are discussing that in this book specifically, generation, upon generation of girls were being taken back to neverland during the same period of "cleaning Peter's place", which nobody talks about and is ridiculous at this day and age. We can't brush aside the concern of how it gets ingrained into girls' minds just because it's a period piece or just because some girls do like it.

It's not about liking or not, it's about a problem that must be brought to light. I'm a motherly woman, I understand Wendy's desire to care and protect those lost boys -- I lived that with my younger cousins because I was always the one taking care of them, I was always the one defending them, putting them to sleep, feeding them. And I was a kid at the time, just like Wendy. I connect with her motherly instinct and bravery, but I don't fucking accept the idea of my daughter, granddaughter, and great-granddaughter being bound to become a magic boy's "cleaning lady". The abstract idea offends me. And should offend everyone. It should be talked about even if we have a 'more feminist' character like Tiger Lilly. After all, having Tiger Lilly doesn't make all the other problems disappear.

I don't think you meant bad in any of the points you made though. You are also someone who seems very attached and in love with the story. I am too (not me crying when in the 2003 movie Wendy says to Peter 'This is for you and for you only' and then gives him her Kiss symbolizing a special thing that she's giving to the childhood personification as proof that it will forever live in her heart, even if she does grow up, even if she must let this childhood go, this childhood will be loved and cherished by her forever) -- just not Barrie's story. To me, the canon will smell worse and worse the more time passes because unfortunately, it's not a well-crafted story. It has wonderful concepts, fantastic characters, and I hope it also has a well-meaning heart behind it, but the execution was so flawed it just won't survive canonically. Disney's take and Peter Pan's 2003 though might go on for a long time -- it's undoubtedly flawed but the overall result is just well done.

I have also read Pollyanna and The Railway Children -- books much older than Peter Pan for the same demographic, and they are masterfully written. This doesn't mean they haven't problems, they do, but the work was so sensible and well done, that they just survive as canon.

Peter Pan had Disney and many retellings to keep it alive, thank the goddess. It will be these retellings that will sustain it for generations, not JM Barrie's book.

[algumaideia]

Rereading THE chapter 54

Such a gold mine. I'm gonna comment on it later, but for now some highlights:

"We’d long ago freed our slaves in the Night Court. We didn’t trust the humans to keep our secrets, not when they bred so quickly and frequently that my forefathers couldn’t hold all their minds at once."

The way R/hys cares and respects humans is different.

"I hadn’t wanted C/assian or A/zriel or anyone else there that night to witness what I was to do—"

A/zriel job is to torture people, I really don't get it.

“And as I felt my powers being ripped away by that spell she’d put on it at the toast, I flung them out one last time, wiping Velaris, the wards, all that was good, from the minds of the Court of Nightmares—the only ones I’d allowed to come with me. I threw the shield around Velaris, binding it to my friends so that they had to remain or risk that protection collapsing, and used the last dregs to tell them mind to mind what was happening, and to stay away"

Wow, it is almost like he didn't need to do such bad things to protect Velaris because he city was already protected.

“Every night that I spent with Amarantha, I knew that she was half wondering if I’d try to kill her. I couldn’t use my powers to harm her, and she had shielded herself against physical attacks. But for fifty years—whenever I was inside her, I’d think about killing her. She had no idea. None. Because I was so good at my job that she thought I enjoyed it, too. So she began to trust me—more than the others. Especially when I proved what I could do to her enemies"

I think S/JM made Amarantha too dumb. Or R/hys thinks he is way smarter than he is

"I’d wake up with your scent in my nose, and it would haunt me all day, every step"

I just think this is disgusting.

“So I let you walk away"

And I think this is creepy and obsessive and R/hys does not own F/eyre!!!

"I made them confess to conspiring to find other rebels that night. I made them lie and claim that they hated her. I watched her carve them up while they were still alive, protesting their innocence. I enjoyed it—because I knew what they had wanted to do to you. And knew that it would have paled in comparison to what Amarantha would have done if she’d found you.”

I just think it is funny because then he sexually assaulted her.

“And I decided that I had to scare Tamlin. I had to scare you, and L/ucien, but mostly Tamlin. Because I saw how he looked at you, too. So what I did that day … ” His lips were pale, tight. “I broke into your mind and held it enough that you felt it, that it terrified you, hurt you. I made Tamlin beg—as Amarantha had made me beg, to show him how powerless he was to save you. And I prayed my performance was enough to get him to send you away. Back to the human realm, away from Amarantha. Because she was going to find you. If you broke that curse, she was going to find you and kill you. But I was so selfish—I was so stupidly selfish that I couldn’t walk away without knowing your name. And you were looking at me like I was a monster, so I told myself it didn’t matter, anyway. But you lied when I asked. I knew you did. I had your mind in my hands, and you had the defiance and foresight to lie to my face. So I walked away from you again. I vomited my guts up as soon as I left.”

There is a lot to unpack here, so later.

"I told Amarantha the name of that girl, thinking you’d invented it. I had no idea … I had no idea she’d send her cronies to retrieve Clare"

He confessed it was his fault and at the same time he didn't acknowlegded it was his fault.

“I decided, then and there, that I was going to fight. And I would fight dirty, and kill and torture and manipulate, but I was going to fight. If there was a shot of freeing us from Amarantha, you were it. I thought … I thought the Cauldron had been sending me these dreams to tell me that you would be the one to save us. Save my people"

R/hys does like to contradict himself and to make no sense whatsoever.

"A way to defy Amarantha, to spread the seeds of hope to those who knew how to read the message, and a way to keep you alive without seeming too suspicious. And a way to get back at Tamlin … To use him against Amarantha, yes, but … To get back at him for my mother and sister, and for … having you. When we made that bargain, you were so hateful that I knew I’d done my job well. So we endured it. I made you dress like that so Amarantha wouldn’t suspect, and made you drink the wine so you would not remember the nightly horrors in that mountain. And that last night, when I found you two in the hall … I was jealous. I was jealous of him, and pissed off that he’d used that one shot of being unnoticed not to get you out, but to be with you, and … Amarantha saw that jealousy. She saw me kissing you to hide the evidence, but she saw why. For the first time, she saw why. So that night, after I left you, I had to … service her. She kept me there longer than usual, trying to squeeze the answers out of me. But I gave her what she wanted to hear: that you were nothing, that you were human garbage, that I’d use and discard you. Afterward … I wanted to see you. One last time. Alone. I thought about telling you everything—but who I’d become, who you thought I was … I didn’t dare shatter that deception."

A lot to unpack here too.

"All I could see was you, in your stupid wedding dress—so thin. So, so thin, and pale. And I wanted to kill him for it, but I had to get you out."

Hypocrisy

"I didn’t want you to think that everything I did was to win you, just to keep my lands safe. But I couldn’t … I couldn’t stop being around you, and loving you, and wanting you. I still can’t stay away"

Hummmm.

Best regards,

Me.

Ps. He didn't apologized, no I'm sorry or anything like that. Idk why but I thought it would have at least a shy sorry in the middle of this mess, but nothing.

[theangryjikooker]

How does one become more like you? How do I stop being so deep in this Jikook thing? I've tried to take a step back, I've tried to focus on other things - on my life, but nothing seems to be working. I'm so emotionally invested in this ship. JK&JM are literally all I think about as soon as I wake up, and when I go to bed. The thought that they might've drifted apart (as the fandom thinks) terrifies me. I know it's unhealthy to feel this way, but I can't help it. Please tell me what to do...

If stepping away from the fandom is impossible for you, my suggestion would be to examine your life. I'm not your therapist and don't know you or your history, so please take this with a grain of salt, but sometimes it can indicate a lack of fulfillment in your own life that you're able to seek out through other people, especially those whose lives are readily available to the public (see: parasocial relationships). And for some people, that thing (e.g., fandom) is the only thing that they're sinking time into, so it becomes that much more important and meaningful to the individual.

Plenty of people can get defensive when I throw that possibility out--that one's life isn't fulfilling; it tends to incite visceral reactions in others because of the shame associated with anything that isn’t your best (even though one’s “best” is subjective--yay, societal pressure). I will often then pose the following question: are you happy? Take away BTS and are you happy? Ideally, you would be.

It seems like a cheap shot, but there is truth to it. Typically, a well-rounded, happy/content person has no need to throw their energy into people they're unlikely to ever know on a personal level. Why would they, when their own life brings them joy? Fandom is supposed to be a source of entertainment, a hobby you indulge in from time to time. If you get into the occasional heated argument, fine; if some hurtful words are thrown, that's not unusual when you have the ability to interact with a range of personalities. But when you start to rely heavily on a life that isn't your own, there's something that's fundamentally missing or lacking in yours. And it's not always an external element that could be unsatisfactory but an internal one.

When I get antis or people who passionately disagree with me and I get angry/annoyed about it, it's not a reaction to the fandom but because they're attacking me, but it doesn't have any significant bearings on my feelings for BTS or Jikook. I could honestly just drop this blog today and go inactive on Twitter while I shipped Jikook on my own time, and it would take zero effort on my part to do so. Why? Because my life doesn’t revolve around my hobbies; my hobbies enrich my life, but it doesn’t take anything away from me if I lose or abandon it.

It’s also worth considering that the increase in obsessiveness found within fandom is not only the accessibility that K-pop idols allow their fans to have, but also the constant feedback loop of the Internet. We have more access to people who think like us, who share the same imagination and desire for one goal (e.g., for a ship to be real), so there’s that mutual enabling at work. Humans are also community-oriented, so that also factors into the ease with which we throw ourselves into these sub-communities. Et cetera, et cetera.

There’s a lot that goes into what it is that you’re experiencing, and it’s not as cut-and-dry as I make it sound. Sometimes, what it takes for people to grow out of their obsessions is growing up and a gradual development of self-growth. It’s cliché and seems impossible, but for a lot of people, life usually takes over at some point.

To answer your question, I can’t tell you what it’ll take to become “more like me” because we’re two different people. There are two things that you said that I want to highlight:

I've tried to focus on other things - on my life, but nothing seems to be working

The thought that they might've drifted apart (as the fandom thinks) terrifies me

Try to get to the root of why you think this is the case for you. The answer might be obvious, or it might not. Once you figure that out, knowing what to do with that revelation is a different hurdle altogether, but I would urge you to take baby steps if this is something that genuinely bothers you.

If you want to talk privately, you’re more than welcome to, but just remember that I’m not your therapist so approach the advice of a stranger with caution.

Hope this helps you, anon. 💜

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

It truly is fascinating (and somewhat terrifying) what kind of reactions a picture of a members with another member’s dog taken sometime in December 2020 (according to Bangtan_Style07 on twt based on his outfit) can bring out of people. I’ve seen hate in many ways, caused by the dumbest things, but the outcry against Tae for posting a really, really cute picture with baby Bam is just absolutely fucked up, to say it bluntly. Are you okay? Is everything good at home? Do you need something? Because all of this isn’t normal. And calling Tae a clout chaser (which is the most harmless of things I’ve seen him get called) because of this? Really? Like really?

(As for the caption, I’m fairly certain it’s meant as joke/reference to how Seokjin always jokingly claims that he raised JK, and if not, seeing as Tae went to a dog coach before he even got Yeontan, and he’s also much younger than any of the dogs of the other members, I wouldn’t be surprised if JK asked him for advice when Bam was a little puppy)

And the hate/negativity even made its way over to us. Because of course it did. We’ve been rather absent recently due to real life obligations and yet this annoyed me/us enough to get us to post this because honestly, I’ll ask again, are you okay? Like seriously? All this over a picture with Bam? From last December? Despite literally everything that happened this year, within the last month, and even in just the final ITS episode that aired a few days ago?

From anon: How did we go from Tae posting on weverse about JM all the time, to Tae posting about JK or JK related things on weverse for the past few months? Tae with Bam. Tae saying he was jealous Army wrote lyrics for JK. Tae posting JK during his live. I hope JM finds someone who treats him better cause what Tae is doing, if they're together is not cool. Unless Tae & JK are newly dating & he's trying to move on from his weverse Imagination comment from 3 years ago, cause he feels different about JK now.

I’m sorry, I didn’t know Tae had some kind of rule on his weverse account that said he is only allowed to post things about himself or Jimin and nothing about literally anyone else, or does that rule only apply to JK, since he is the “threat”, or at least that’s what it sounds like according to you? What did I say just a few posts ago, did you even read it? Here’s a link in case you need a refresher because I’m tired of repeating myself over, and over, and over again.

Also, not to sound like an asshole, but if I apply your absolutely fantastic logic, does that mean that Jimin is treating Tae badly as well since he posted a pic with JK at the airport and not with Tae? Or because he called JK into his vlive and not Tae? Have we really reached a point where, if two people are in a relationship, they are only ever allowed to interact with and post about each other and no one else?

Just in March Tae said he likes Jimin the most, just last Friday during the final ITS episode Tae made Jimin breakfast and delivered it to his room, and just a few weeks ago during PTD on Stage Tae and Jimin had so many cute interactions, but yes, of course, all of that is irrelevant because of some weverse posts. Obviously. How could I forget. Silly me.

From anon: Why worry about Antis stabbing you in the back, when you're so called soulmate will stab you in the front. Vs shitty for that Bam post, esp after the hate for the last few weeks against JM & any time he interacts with Bam. Not sure what has gotten into V but seems he loves adding fuel to the TK fire lately. We all know its more toward JM, then JK cause V didn't magically wake up & realize he loves JK, not JM anymore. Not after the shit he's done & said over the years about JM. This is deliberate

“(...)the hate for the last few weeks against JM & any time he interacts with Bam.” So we’re just going to ignore all the hate that Tae got in the last couple of weeks, and the massive amounts of hate and vile things that were posted against him any time he even got close to Bam? Both him and Jimin couldn’t even breathe near Bam without either Xkook camp going berserk, making absolutely deranged accusations, as well as the solos stans of each maknae line members.

Also, tell me, how does Tae posting a pic with JKs dog have any kind of relevance or connection to Jimin? Unless you’re a Xkooker and also hold on to their outlandish and delulu claim that Jimin is Bam’s co-owner, where is the connection? There is none. It’s JKs dog, Tae is his friend, and so Tae took a picture with his friend’s dog and posted it. Just like JK used to have pictures and videos with Yeontan. Does that somehow mean that was also a deliberate move on JKs part against JM because...[insert vague and nonsensical reason here]? Come on now.

Now, repeat after me - not everything the members post has something to do with ships. And also repeat this after me - in most cases the things the maknae line members post have no relevance to ships.

I mean, by your logic, does that mean Hobi posting about JK and him spending time outside of work (some of the pictures he posted for JKs birthday) was Hobi adding fuel to the H*opek*ok fire? Or Seokjin and Hobi posting a picture on the day they flew to NYC was them adding fuel to the 2S*ok fire? Or Hobi just now replying to both Jimin’s and Tae’s Weverse posts, so he’s adding fuel to both J*Hope and VH*pe (and also XKook and Yeontan and Bam)? Can the members seriously not interact or post anything together/about each other anymore without it being interpreted as some kind of ship-fuel post or deliberate jab at another member?

Do you really think the three maknaes sit down every Sunday around a table and make a plan that okay, on Monday Jimin will post something with a Xkook hint, on Tuesday JK will post a cover that’ll be ambiguous enough to could be about either Xkook ship, then on Friday Tae will post a picture to add fuel to Xkook, and then on Saturday either of them will say something cryptic during a vlive or interview. Then they go, do all of that, have a good laugh at our expense, and repeat the whole thing the following Sunday. Because that’s how all of this sounds, and it also, as always, presents the entirety of the hyung line, as irrelevant when it comes to the maknaes and as though the only thing the maknaes care about is ships.

Yes, I did make jokes about Seokjin’s bike pictures being somehow connected to namjin on the basis that we know Namjoon loves riding his bike from and to work, as well as the fact that Seokjin got Namjoon a bike for his birthday. But the difference here is that I always make it clear that I’m not stating facts or that it’s the only interpretation ever and my word is law. I’m having fun, sometimes I even put on my delulu hat just in case. But these asks from anons? That is just taking it way too far and, again, playing into all the negative narratives painted across the maknaes that present their bonds as some eternal triangle of jealously, ever changing relationships, betrayal and cheating, essentially. Like do you hear yourselves and what your asks sound like, what they would mean in the grand scheme of things?

Do you want to know what my takeaway is from Tae posting that picture with Bam? That Tae is just as much friends with JK as Jimin is, and their bonds are essentially the same, that both Tae and Jimin treat JK the same, as their close friend, and that Tae loves dogs and therefore took a picture of Bam. ARMY definitely post on weverse how they hope we might get an update from JK on how Bam is doing, and since Tae was on weverse yesterday, surely he must’ve/might’ve seen one or two of them and thus thought he’d make us happy by posting a pic of him with puppy Bam. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Does there always have to be some kind of overarching ploy in what the maknaes do? Can’t we just say “aww cute��� and be happy we got a picture of Tae as well as Bam? And can we also remind ourselves that this means that JK has had Bam nearly a year now and up until the first episode of ITS we had no clue, and therefore it just goes to show, once again, how we barely know anything about their private lives at all?

EDIT - anon reaction ask below the cut:

From anon: Agreed with everything on the v×bam post but it does make me wonder why this blog has never spoken out on the hate jimin recieves. Everytime jimin interacted with jk he was hated on. Yet never have u posted about it or expressed frustration. Meanwhile you always post about how its so unfair to jk. Now standing up for tae. I have been bothered for a while about this. Remeber when just pics of jimin and jk riding the atv were released. All those cruel msgs and posts even on weverse an you were silent. Leave jimin alone. Absolutely hate you for this biasedness.

Thank you for agreeing with our post, but I don’t agree with your accusations. Whenever we receive hateful asks against vmin or namjin, or any of the members though usually it’s just focused on the maknaes, we either ignore it (because there oftentimes in no point in replying) or we post something against it. All the posts where we voiced frustration or whatnot about the hate Tae/Jimin/JK receive was in in answer to an ask we’ve gotten. Except for my posts voicing my frustration at the treatment JK receives from shippers, as in him being painted as some kind of jealous monster and the prize everyone wants to “win”, we’ve never talked about the hate the members get outside of replies to asks.

The amount of hate the members receive, just like shipping, isn’t some kind of competition and nothing to play compare and contrast with. All of them receive hate and that’s awful, end of story.

Do you know how many waves of vile hate Namjoon has received since we started this blog? Or Seokjin? And yet I didn’t say anything about any of it. Do you want to know why? Because talking about it doesn’t do anything, at least nothing good. It draws attention to the issue, makes people that otherwise would have no idea (and this might be both ARMYs and antis) its happening aware of it, and in many cases that only leads to more fights, more hate, and instead of calming down a situation, it just makes it worse.

Yes, Jimin got hate over those ATV pictures. And so did Tae when we got the preview picture of him and JK on the ATV a week or two prior. I didn’t say anything about either of those cases. Do you really think we, with our comparatively entirely irrelevant platform, make a difference when we voice our opinions, that if we’d just said something, what, the hate would’ve magically stopped? No, it would’ve just drawn more attention to the issue and caused even more problems. And we don’t want that.

[asexualzoro]

it's my birthday!

I'm 21 now!! i'm doing another Writing Summary for the year! Lew Writes Wrapped, if you will. so, if you'd like to get me a gift, consider reading and reviewing one of these, or reblogging this post!

and if it rhymes, it's true, but i hate poetry (Jan, 3k, TMA, oneshot)

The obligatory sex-repulsed ace Jon fic that every asexual TMA writer tries their hand at eventually.

This is without a doubt the most popular thing I wrote this year, which makes me laugh considering I remember disliking the way I ended it. Still, I appreciate the support a ton, esp bc I'd been sitting on the concept of this fic for months prior. TMA fandom rlly will see an ace Jon oneshot and go is anyone gonna shower that in kudos and not wait for an answer. Love that for you guys.

as long as you can remember (Mar, 3k, TMA, oneshot)

A short horror piece focusing on combining Annabelle's original plan to fill Martin with spiders and the amnesia-inducing effects of Salesa's camera, tied together with narration from MAG 195 in one awful time loop.

I had so much fun with this one!! I loved balancing the spider pinata, amnesiac camera, and typing the start to the ending through use of the statement and repeating the opening of the fic at the end. I also made a lot of ""Martin's"" dialogue mirror lines of his from important JM conversations in canon, and went so far as to research the body temperature of spiders for a line of prose about holding Martin's hand. I'm honestly super fond of this piece because of how much fun I had putting it together.

to be shaped by such strange things (May, 3k, TMA, oneshot)

A piece about how s1 Jon and Sasha are often depicted with glasses, yet NotSasha and late-series Jon are often not, and how losing the lenses through which you see the world really does mean losing a piece of yourself, even if it doesn't seem like it. Or, The Beholding fixes Jon's eyesight is a terrifying and devastating headcanon and I'm going to make that everyone else's problem.

I've needed glasses my entire life and I feel most of the plot points or acknowledgment I've seen about characters' glasses has involved making them not need or not wear them anymore. I'm rather fond of mine, though, and I wanted to write something that reflected that (n pun intended.) That piece is strange things, which I couldn't be happier with, honestly.

Lucid (adj.) (May, 3k, original, complete)

A journal-entry style horror piece about lucid dreaming, trouble sleeping, and the horror that is straddling a nightmare between them. A 'love' letter to the power of an over-active imagination.

I lucid dream IRL, so Lucid (adj.) was so interesting and entertaining to write. I barely ever write original, but I'm so glad I did--this wouldn't have worked any other way. I got to tear into and pick apart a very specific but real fear of mine, based on an actual nightmare I'd had about a month before writing this piece. I'm super fond of this one, so if you like slow-build psychological horror, I cannot recommend it enough!

on a cliche (July, 833, original, complete)

Two strangers meet in a cafe and discuss an age-old question. A piece about whether one would rather to have love and lost.

This might be my favorite thing that I wrote this year? Which is very funny considering that when I wrote it for class, I was sure it was going to be torn apart in critique. Making the setting appear dreamlike without completely tipping my hand was probably my favorite part of the piece. Out of everything on here, this is probably the most sweet/lighthearted thing I wrote/posted this year, so if my writing is normally too depressing for you, I recommend this piece.

my witness brings me into existence (Aug, 4k, TMA, oneshot)

A transcript-style fic about NotJon, and what happens when one lives in the world where they have been forgotten. Archivist Sasha and NotJon returned from the dead, taking place during MAG121. I've read every piece in the NotJon tag on AO3 that I could find and it shows, I think.

God I fucking love this piece. I wrote the first draft of it over discord entirely spur-of-the-moment to my friend @/daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavid, believe it or not, sitting outside and being bitten my mosquitoes literally the whole time. I actually have most of the next parts of this fic sitting in my drafts, but I've been far too busy to finish them. It also has lovely art from @/macmonky, which I'm still enamored with. I really don't have a bad word to say about my witness, go check it out!

dead and undying (Sept, 7k, DSMP RP, complete multichap)

I spend far too much time thinking about Technoblade's execution and it shows. A fic about Techno not finding Tommy has hidden in his basement to escape exile and speedrunning Doomsday about it. If you like reading stories about stories or think the wither is a terrifying mob you should read this fic.

its my birthday which means i get to be cringe on main and you all have to let me. i really enjoyed writing this one! The execution and revival with the totem is some of the most fun body horror I've ever written, and this fic has very lovely art!

To finish out,

this year I didn't write quite as much as last year, but I also wasn't home all day in quarantine, so I'm alright with that! What I did write (and post--I have a lot of unfinished/unposted writing this year), I'm overwhelmingly happy with, after all! All in all, my posted writing for this year totaled up to 25,000 words!

Thank you, as always, to everyone for your continued support of my writing! Happy birthday to me, and thank you for reading!

(reblogs and/or birthday wishes much appreciated!)

[nightswithkookmin]

My Top VMIN moment that makes me uncomfortable???🤔

I think it's moments when Jimin's gay is showing in general. So it's not just a moment with V if you know what I mean. he does it with Jungkook and other members too- hell even non members too both girls n boys🤣

My all time scary vmin gay moment is Tae exposing JM for touching him. That knowledge terrifies me as to what Tae thought JM meant by those touches. It haunts me to this day.

Jimin is affectionate as I keep saying and he enjoys physical affection. Not sure if Tae wasn't used to men being that physically affectionate which makes me question this whole normalization of skinship in Kpop culture or whether he thought JMs desire for physical intimacy as platonic as may be was excessive and out of place.

Not exactly surprising cos he used to suspect JM was gay around debut A LOT. A LOT.

Everyone thought JM was gay around debut right down to his muscles, male gaze appeal, and desire for male validation. 10 out of ten if a man is overly building up they are not trying to attract a female gaze💀 but let's not talk about that chilee before the naive twelve year olds come for us😩

My second traumatizing vmin experience is well this...

See the way he was just quietly observing V and then just blurts out a compliment???

It will never not scare me😭🤧

Mostly because it's his most vulnerable raw moments and anything he says follows from an honest thought.

Sometimes he'll just be watching JK like that and i gulp nervously.

In an alternate universe those two are definitely soulmates screwing eachother💀

Ok I need a vmin fanfic recommendation please. No smut keep it PG.

Jimin has strong V- word tendencies in my opinion. Again its that strong Libra energy working him! Whew!

HE IS THE WHOLE PACKAGE.

50 shades of Park Jimin🤤

That man Kinky as hell oh lawd

It's him watching Kook eat that lollipop for me- alright I'll stop now. It's a sabbath. Thirst hours closed.

YALL GO TO CHURCH SINNERS

GOLDY

[chubbymoongoddess]

TW: Mentions of mpreg, slavery, rape and stockholm syndrome.

if this isn't your thing, don't read it. This is also set in modern times.

Longer version.

Omega Jm born into a royal family, making him the prince. It's rare for male omegas to be born, so he's extra special. The more he grows over the years, the more beautiful he gets. He literally has every man and woman in the kingdom wanting him by the time he's 21. Not only is he gorgeous, but he's humble as well and his kingdom loves him for that just as much as they love him for his beauty. Jm takes to time to greet and speak to everyone he can on his outings, making sure to listen to any complaints they may have so he can relay them to his father. Literally the definition of an angel.

Well, one night he goes on an unsupervised outing. Everything goes well until he's on his way to return home. It's late and the streetlamps are really the only lights on so it's not that easy to see. One minute Jm is conscious and well aware of what street he's on and the next he's out cold, body being hauled into a windowless, unmarked van. Of course this would happen on the one night he decided to sneak out by himself. He should have known better.

He wakes up with a massive headache in a cold, damp stone room, much like a cell, with shackles on his feet and wrists, the ones on his feet being connected to the wall. His breathing is heavy as he's terrified and it only accelerates as the door to the room opens, a strange man he's never seen before walking in with an annoying smirk on his face.

"Well, well, our gorgeous prince finally awakens."

Jm backs up against the wall as much as he can, voice shaking as he speaks. "W..Who are you? Where am I? Why.. Why are you doing this?"

The man just laughs, moving over to Jm, grabbing his chin between his thumb and forefinger. "You're very sought after. I'd be stupid if I didn't try to catch you. You're going to sell for a very high price."

He was terrified before but those words make Jm's blood run cold. Fuck.. Fuck he had been captured by slave traders. If he was sold he knew he'd most likely fucking die after being tortured and abused for god knows how long. The only thing he could think to do was to plead for his life.

"No!! No please! I..If you let me go I.. I can get my father to pay you anything you want! Just please let me go!" There were tears in his eyes and his voice was wavering, bottom lip quivering as he tried not to sob.

The man just laughed, letting the omega's face go as he moved back toward the door. "The only thing I'll get if I let you go is sent to prison. What, do you think I'm stupid? Shut up and get some rest. Tomorrow is the auction day and I won't have you looking like some sort of sleep deprived zombie." and with that, he left, leaving Jm alone to sob himself to sleep on the hard stone floor.

Morning comes and jm is taken to a large room filled with seats with a single, circular stage in the middle. He watches as one by one, different people of different ranks and genders are auctioned off, until it's finally his turn and he's dragged up onto the stage by the shackles. He stands there as men start placing bids on him almost immediately. It doesn't seem to ever stop and jm just wants to go home. His attention is diverted when a man, obviously an alpha by his build, jm can't make his scent out in this room, stands up, offering more than 70 million usd for him. It's over then. the auction is won as nobody else wants to bid higher. Jm is led off of the stage and into the back room to meet with the man who bought him. He'll admit, he's pretty handsome, but that thought shouldn't even be running through his mind right now. The man doesn't ask his name. He knows who he is. They all know who he is. All the man says to Jm is "I'm going to have so much fun with you."

The omega is transported back to the alpha's home and luxurious doesn't even begin to explain how nice his house is. It's basically a mansion surrounded by massive, well kept gardens and fountains. Jm swears he hears a horse whinny in the distance. On his ride there, he's told what he will be used for. Sex and feeding. It scares the fuck out of Jm and he starts to try to get out of the carriage. He does NOT want this. There's no way he's ever going to want this! The alpha just grabs him by the hair and yanks him back. He's have made it a few steps away if the alpha wasn't so quick. Once he's shown his room, which is no more than a bedroll on the ground in the dungeon, he's explained the rules and what the alpha expects of him. He answers with a bitter "yes sir."

He's given an hour or two to "settle in" before the alpha comes back with servants wheeling in a little cart full of food. He hasn't eaten in a while so he is hungry, but only eats until he's full. After refusing a few times, the alpha forces his mouth open and forced the rest of the food into his mouth, leaving Jm with a bloated stomach that renders him too full to move. It's then that the alpha commands him to undress and get into "presenting" position. Jm panics. He's too full to even fucking move and he really doesn't want this alpha inside of him. He pleads, struggles even, but the alpha has had enough of the omega's resisting so he forces him into the position himself. Jm blocks out everything that happens next. All he knows is that he fought as hard as he could the whole way through.

This goes on for months with jm resisting and fighting back each time. It has resulted in him having a few black eyes, bruises littering his body. He hasn't gained any weight because he purges everything he eats when the alpha leaves him alone for the night. In fact, he's lost weight because of it. It results in more beatings. He doesn't want to give in, his will is strong and he keeps telling himself that he'll fight until the day he dies. That is until he finds out that he's carrying a pup. It was bound to happen, he had gone through a heat not too long ago and the alpha was in his "room" non stop. Things changed then as Jm's world came crumbling down. He couldn't continue to fight when there was a pup inside of him. He couldn't bear to have it hurt, despite it being his rapist's spawn. The next time the alpha comes in, Jm just looks up at him and opens his mouth. There's not much light in his eyes and the alpha notices. He asks what's going on and Jm reluctantly tells him. The prince has never seen the alpha's face light up the way it does at the news. Before he gets too ahead of himself though, he asks if Jm is going to be good from now on to which the prince quietly nods. The alpha is pleased with this and unshackles Jm from the wall, leading him out of the dungeons and down one of the many long hallways in the mansion. He's lead to a large bedroom, furnished with all sorts of things from bookshelves to a large tv hanging on the wall with a soft looking couch in front of it. There's a bathroom attached to the room as well. The only thing that Jm can really focus on is the bed.

He immediately starts to tear up, moving toward it. At first the alpha thinks he's going to try to run for it and he starts to reach for Jm's hair to yank him back but when he notices that he's moving toward the bed, he stops, watching as the omega carefully sits on it. It's been months since he's been inside of an actual room like this and all he wants to do is sleep. He asks the alpha if it's okay to which he responds a simple "after I'm finished with you." Of course it would be like that. Jm nods with a sigh and lets everything happen as normal, only this time, when the alpha is finished, he unshackles Jm, taking them in his hand and leaves, locking the door behind him. For the first time in months, Jm doesn't purge and he takes a shower before falling asleep.

Four months down the line, Jm is a different person. He's only been smacked a few times in the face since he's found out he's pregnant. After the last slap two weeks ago, he hasn't acted out since. He does his very best to keep "his alpha" happy, referring to him as master, owner..even my alpha . This has had him rewarded multiple times with things he asks for. Certain foods, games, anything to keep his mind busy when he's alone. He's thought about asking to call his family once, but decided against it as he knew he'd get punished for even suggesting it. Due to all of the stuffing the alpha made him do and since he was no longer purging, Jm had gained and it had definitely begun to show. He only ever wore robes anymore but he could feel how his ass bounced as he walked, could feel his thighs rub together more, there was even a bit of pudge on his stomach that wasn't caused by the pup. It.. It oddly felt.. good?

Jm exhaled and quickly shuffled into the bathroom to look at himself. His stomach wasn't very big yet but there was a rather noticeable bump and as he ran his hands over it, he bit his lip. The moment he turned around to look at his ass in the mirror though, he started to leak slick. It only got worse as he reached back to smack himself, watching his cheeks jiggle. He figured he had some time before the alpha came back so, he leaned back against the sink, groaning as he felt his ass spread against it slightly. He started to stroke himself, whimpering and keeping his noises to a minimum, lest anyone would hear. somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew this was wrong. He knew he shouldn't be feeling this way, but at the moment, he really could not care less. He came harder than he had ever came before after a few moments, panting heavily as he rested back against the sink. He began to wonder if he'd get more praise and rewards if he continues to gain and bare offspring for his alpha. He'd have to possibly ask the next time he came in. The prince cleaned himself and the mess he made up and went to sit on the bed to wait.

When his alpha came in, he found Jm sitting on his knees with his hands on his thighs. He raised a brow at the omega, moving over to stroke his cheek. He asks what's going on and Jm asks him about everything that's on his mind, promising he'll be a very good boy if the alpha agrees to this. His alpha is taken aback, honestly. He agrees almost immediately and explains that this is what he has bought Jm for. The omega nods and immediately crawls closer, opening his mouth for the food that his alpha had brought him. He was going to be the best boy possible from now on.

-----------------------------------------------------------

In my mind I see Jm getting to be about 450-500lbs in this. Still very mobile despite his weight. He essentially gives this alpha quite a few offspring, enjoying it each time. He eventually "falls in love" with this alpha, falls in love with how he is a servant to him. Loves the way the alpha makes him do certain things like crawling on his hands and knees, begging for his food or his alpha's cock sometimes. There's no dumbification really in this either. Jm is just tired of being beaten and he falls in love with.. feeling how big he's gotten and enjoys all of the belly rubs and groping his alpha gives him. He's able to see his pups, though not much. I kind of had an idea of this alpha eventually agreeing to let Jm see his family once as well. Idk.

[heretherebedork]

I have a quote for you:

"Love is the scariest feeling in the world."

Let's get it out of the way: Pi should say this after his relationship with Mork.

Anyway, greener pastures!

I feel like Jin thinks this a lot about Bbomb. Love is wonderful but it's so scary and so overwhelming and it makes it so easy to be hurt and to be broken and to lose everything. He's struggling so hard and barely getting anywhere.

JM definitely thinks this. He's been heartbroken before and now he wants nothing to do with love at all because love is pain, love is being hurt, love is being abandoned.

Pai gave up on love because it was so overwhelming and shut himself down entirely. He'd agree with this, though he wouldn't phrase it that way. Yes, we're ignoring how the show actually handled this.

I think Yu Zhen would agree with this. He's so scared of love, he's been hurt before and he doesn't want to be hurt again... and in trying to avoid that hurt, he's definitely going to hurt Shi Lei.

Lukmo thinks this and he hates love so much and he just wants to be freed from how much love keeps hurting him. And I just need him to be held by Simai until he has a chance to cry in his arms for everything he's lost.

This is Yeon Woo's life. That fear of love, that fear of obsessive love, permeates everything he does and everything he avoids. He cannot trust himself and so he cannot trust his love and so he does not want to love.

Tong has thought this for a long time. Love is scary and it isn't worth it and he's going to save himself for when it seems safe... but when it starts to be safe, that's when everything goes wrong. And now love is the scariest, worst feeling in the world because it's gone out of Pok's eyes.

Shao Yi Chen finds this true after his rebirth and definitely when Jiang Jin Teng starts being obsessed with him. And, I mean, he's not wrong.

Phu looks at Kao and thinks this because he knows that their love will be so tested, knowing their distance, knowing his own past.

Winston knows this to be true. He can't be out, he can't be himself, and love is terrifying. How can love be anything but terrifying when you're not free to love as you wish?