#it's technically late for the main prompt this was written for

[golbrocklovely]

cultish love // colby brock

A/N: first off, so sorry for this being so late, i had a lot of things i had to edit about this fic. also this is my longest fic ever ! like the other fic before this, this is a AU version of colby… where he, you guessed it, is a cult leader. and he is also corrupt (but like aren't all cult leaders). again this deals with some possible heavy themes, so give a good read of the trigger warnings before reading ahead. i've always joked about colby being able to lead a cult, and that's basically where this idea came from. this fic also took a turn i wasn't expecting, but i like it anyway. also the first half is written as a journal entry (all italized) and then the rest is an actual fic (not italized). lmk what you think, and happy haunting !

prompt: you're a journalist, and your next big story is on the 'empathic love' cult, led by none other than colby brock. this cult is not known well, but you are getting a first hand look at them and what they do. and quickly, colby takes a liking to you. || fem!reader x AU!cult leader!colby brock

trigger warning: SMUT, no actual sex but you do get mentally fucked (it will make sense in the story), cult vibes all around, love bombing, cursing, supernatural powers, colby is very intense and kinda scary but also still his charming self, slight dubcon similar in vain to sam's story - you never say no outright, but you do have general feelings of 'wtf is this, idk if i like' so if that's too much for you, feel free to read something else :), colby's aura is crazy good at giving you visions, strangers-to-soulmates?? don't know if that's a tag lol, also…. colby's technically bisexual in this????? but like barely

word count: 8610

I've been a reporter for only five years, and this story.... it could make or break my career. Cults aren't as prevalent as they once were way back when. They still exist, just in the shadows. A lot quieter on most fronts. Usually disguised as a business or religion, for tax reasons of course. But this cult, Empathic Love, is unlike any cult I've heard of.

Of course, they don't call themselves a cult, but that's what they are. How else would you describe a bunch of randos following one man around wherever he goes?

They only started so many years ago, right before I graduated university. The main founder, Colby Brock, is a pragmatic individual, according to his followers. The cult began blowing up in my town a little over two years ago, and now people flock from all over the world to visit the Love Compound. You would think it's Disney World the way people grow excited about it.

But I am here to get to the truth of this cult. What is their motive? What are they planning to do? Will this be another Waco or Heaven's Gate? What sinister beliefs hide underneath the modern-day hippie aesthetic they show?

These notes will document everything I experience for the next couple of days. And in case I go missing, these are my proof of who's to blame.

I don't think it will go that far, but you can never be too sure.

~~~~

Day 1 - Investigation

I'm still incredibly surprised I was allowed to come onto the Love Compound. The leader himself apparently reached out to my boss and told them that they wanted someone to come down and interview the group. They allow visitors from time to time, "new recruits" as some of the townspeople call them, but reporters have never been allowed in. Not once. Until me.

Driving up to the compound was nerve-wracking. I never imagined I would be nervous; I've interviewed plenty of criminals in my years, have done full blown investigations into scary, horrifying crimes. But something about this place freaked me out. Partially because I didn't know what I was getting into. But another part of me, and I will never admit this out loud, felt... at home.

The only promise I made to myself was I wouldn’t drink any kool-aid while there. So, I plan to stick to that. Pretend my previous statement never existed.

I was greeted by a beautiful woman when I got there: Avery. No one went by last names. And some apparently changed their names altogether, which was not surprising. My guess is there were most likely criminals hanging out amongst the group. But I had no proof of that, just a hunch. It easily could be a safe haven for those wanting to escape whatever life they had before.

The compound was three Victorian style mansions connected to each other and had a decent size farm attached - about 222 acres. Avery told me about all of the vegetables and chickens they farmed. Everything was organic and used up as often as possible. Anything that couldn't be eaten or produced too much for the only 100ish people in the compound, was sold at the farmer's market or given away to the local food bank. Avery explained to me very clearly that everyone in the compound chipped in one way or another. Some still worked normal jobs, but just lived here with everyone. But she noted that Colby hoped in the near future no one would have to work at all and they would be self-sufficient in a couple years.

A cult with future plans? Almost unheard of.

I told Avery that I was given an all-access pass to ask anything I wanted to, and nothing I asked could be ignored or deflected. She agreed to an interview. I recorded all of it, but here are the highlights of what I gathered.

I asked her why Colby was such a secretive man. There were very few photos of him that did exist out there, but all that was rumored about him was his alluring eyes and generally attractive presence. She agreed that he was handsome, describing his as having "ocean blue eyes" and his voice was to die for. "Deep and arousing", as she explained.

I noted that she seemed almost lost in thought at the idea of him, like she was envisioning him directly in front of her. Strange behavior; but not for a cult follower. Many end up falling in love with their leader, believing they have a genuine relationship with said person.

I bought up the name of the group, Empathic Love, and said it felt a little too inviting. She laughed and told me that it was right on the money - the best way to describe why everyone was there. She expressed to me that so many of Colby's followers wanted peace and love and light, and that being in this group felt like that. It was rewarding to be surrounded by those that cared and wanted to see each other succeed. Life outside the walls of the compound was rough, scary, draining; but inside, it was all love.

Call me cynical, but I don't believe that for a second. It took all the strength I had to keep from rolling my eyes at her. But I could tell from her voice, her motions... she was telling the truth. Well, her truth.

I wanted to know what brought her here, so she spoke of her previous life. She was abused growing up, moved around a lot in foster care. She was almost homeless, and then one day she ran into Colby. He had just begun the Empathic Love group, and she just knew she had to stick with him. Her life immediately turned around the moment he was in her life. The adoration in her eyes told me a different story, so I pressed her - "are you and Colby... together?" She smiled and said no, but she knew that they were life partners before, just not currently.

Oh... so it's one of those types of cults.

She said that Colby doesn't have a second in command, wife, girlfriend, whatever. Everyone is equal and heard. He's just the face of the group, which is a bit ironic given even I have no clue what he looks like. I knew he was young, in his mid-20s. But other than that, no idea.

I needed to know, why stay? What keeps you here? A dreamy look came over her, like she had said this a million times before: "Colby. He is love, and that's all anyone could ask for."

Chills ran up my spine at the tone of her voice. It was dull, and her words sounded like a mantra, the way she said them so easily.

I wrapped up my interview with her, quiring if I was allowed to interview others. She said yes and began sending over random people one-by-one to me.

If I hadn't gotten chills from her first, I would have from everyone else. Something about seeing everyone saying similar things, smiling happily, like the ship isn't sinking around them was eerie. It made my stomach churn when I would ask questions I already asked Avery, and get almost the same speech back.

I interviewed about 15 people. All variety of ages and genders. I suddenly realized that there were no children around, and everyone was over the age of 21.

Consenting adults… minus the supposed brainwashing.

A couple of the interviewees stuck out to me:

Penelope, 25. Her upbringing was similar to Avery's, but she still kept in contact with her family. Apparently, she wasn't the only one like that either. Many still kept in touch and even visited their loved ones. I asked her to describe Colby, tell me anything about him. She giggled, almost like a schoolgirl, and began to weave such a story about him. He was kind and caring. His smile was contagious, just like his laugh. And his singing voice was fantastic. She talked about him like he was a boy band member, and she was his biggest fan. I asked her to give one word to describe him, and she said "Love. He is love, and that's all anyone could ask for."

Greg, 36. He had fallen into rough times, and desired a fresh start. He had heard about this group online, and figured checking them out while he was in town wouldn't hurt. And that was a couple years ago. I wondered why he didn't feel weird listening to someone that was younger than him, and he shrugged. It was nice not having eyes on him. He loved being in a wallflower, and he believed that Colby deserved all the love he got from everyone in the group. Every ounce he got was ten-folded back into the group. Greg had never felt so connected to a group of people and he knew it was all thanks to Colby. "He brought love into my life like I never have had it before. Because that's who he is: love."

Heather, 29. She mentioned how for most of her life she felt like shit. Her confidence was at an all-time low when she met Colby. He encouraged her to keep at it, to love herself and find happiness everywhere. And by spending more and more time with him, she did. She has never felt more confident about herself, her life, her direction, and Colby is the reason for that. The tone that took over her voice when she bought him up was odd. It was very similar to a partner describing the love of their life, almost like wedding vows. I asked her haphazardly about her love life, how that was going for her. And she told me she had been on many dates - something she never used to do back when she was younger or before Colby. But she did note that regardless of who she ends up with, she knows that a part of her heart will always belong to Colby. They were connected, forever. "Love and light and happiness is what I desired, and I got it - all because Colby exists in my life now."

It felt like I was getting nowhere with some of these interviews. Many said the same thing, Colby being love and light and blah blah blah. I wanted someone that wasn't gonna just quote to me whatever mantra he made them learn. And luck was on my side, because I was able to interview their newest member, Ash. They were 23, and very beautiful. There was an almost smugness about them, like they knew they were the shiny new toy on the block. The confidence only a young 20-something year old could have.

I asked them, point blank, about Colby. Be brutally honest. They told me he was hot, and that's what drew them to him. They liked the idea of living in a group setting, especially since they grew up with many brothers and sisters. They liked helping out, and they liked knowing that Colby was keeping an eye on them the most recently. I then followed up with how long it took for them to join the group. "Three days. That's how long it takes for everyone."

I questioned them about the "Colby is love" thing, and they agreed it was a bit strange, but they couldn't help but feel the same way as everyone else. They were like a moth to a flame when it came to him. Everything about him was hypnotizing, entrancing. It was like staring at the sun; even though you knew to look away, you just couldn't help it.

Then I had to know: were they sleeping with him? Most of these cults feed off of the leader fucking every person they wanted to and leaving other members high and dry. But for some reason, it felt as if Colby was sleeping with everyone with the way they all talked about him. Ash dissented, saying no one was sleeping with him. He didn't sleep with any of his followers. But they all shared a deep, sensual mental connection with him. They felt like, sometimes, he was in their soul. And that sensation alone was euphoric, bordering on orgasmic. They also knew that in another life, they would have been together, similar to what Avery said.

It was then I knew that this group was clinically insane, or just really infatuated by what Colby was selling. It had to have been some crazy brainwashing. But it was odd; people were allowed to leave, to see loved ones, to have lives outside of the compound walls. Hell, some had dating lives that included those not here! That's unheard of, and completely stupid on Colby's part if he wants to keep things going.

A cult leader that wanted to watch his world implode.... I had to meet him. I had to meet the myth that was Colby Brock. And tomorrow I get my chance to.

~~~~

Day 2 - Interview with Colby

I feel the need to explain that these are my notes, not really meant for anyone else to see. And really, the only reason anyone would be seeing this is if I disappear or got murdered.

So, I say all of that just so I know, for myself, that this is a safe space for me to express my truest emotions and thoughts after interviewing Colby.

And all I can say, honestly, is that... I get it. I understand it now.

I felt my nerves hit their break last night before going to sleep, unable to stop my mind reeling from what was to come. I ended up bringing along a bodyguard, or really a photographer. I had known Trey since I started working as a journalist, and I knew I could rely on him to get us out of the Empathic Love compound if anything went south. I wasn't sure what I was up against when I went to interview Colby, but God... I didn't think I was so underprepared.

I met him in his office, Avery walked me over to it. It was up in the attic of the third house. It overlooked the entire property with wide windows. For an attic, I expected it to feel dark and dusty, but surprisingly it was light and airy. Almost like being out in the woods and taking a deep breath.

Colby was sitting in his main office chair. He spun around to see us, a light smile on his face. I'll be honest - I was taken aback by his beauty. I understood Ash's whole spiel about him being attractive and looking at him was like looking at the sun. It was intense. He was intense. His blue eyes bore into me, almost like they could see through me. I felt chills, but they weren't of fear. It was out of... excitement, of awe.

He greeted me, giving me a warm handshake. I hate to admit that I almost blushed at the sound of him saying my name. I had to take a couple deep breaths before starting. Avery left the room, and Trey sat outside the door, in case of backup.

I recorded our interview, knowing that I couldn't keep track of everything he said. But listening back to it now, his voice.... it's like a song. A beautiful, spellbinding song. I could almost fall asleep to it....

I asked him about his life, and how he came to be a leader for a group like Empathic Love. He spoke of his upbringing lightly, barely scraping the surface. He talked about growing up pretty normally, having a loving family, a great friend group, and then one day realizing that he could make a change in the world. That many people loved him and loved being around him. And that's when he knew that if he could make their lives better, he would. So, he started Empathic Love. Originally, it was just gonna be a safehouse for those that needed it. But then more and more people joined and suddenly, it grew into what it was today.

I asked where his family was now. "In Kansas," he told me. He said nothing further than that.

He humbly spoke of all the love he received from his followers, or his "friends" as he put it. They all cared about him in a way that he only wished he could return tenfold. I questioned him about the whole "Colby is love" thing. "How come everyone says almost the exact same thing, like they've been brainwashed into saying it?" He didn't even trip over his words as he spoke matter-of-factly to me. "I didn't come up with that phrase, they did. You would have to ask them. I take it as the highest form of a compliment, truly. I'll be honest, it's a bit embarrassing at times when they call me that, but I can't help what they do. I appreciate their love, nonetheless."

I continued asking him about different topics, until finally reaching the one I was most intrigued about. "How many of your followers - excuse me - friends, have you slept with?" He smirked, smirked, at me and said "None. Did any of them tell you that we slept together?"

"No, but the way they talk about you like the sun shines out of your ass does seem a bit odd, don't you think?"

He looked unphased. God, he had an answer for everything. "I'll be honest with you, some of my friends might be in love with me. But I make it abundantly clear that while I love them, and love their love, I don't have feelings for them. I'm still looking for the one."

I remember holding back a glare, "So, you're celibate?"

"Now, I never said that." He let out a chuckle, then his eyes darkened. "Why do you care so much about my sex life? Unless of course, you want to join it."

I tried ignoring his gaze and his words but stuttered through my next question. “Then who exactly is the right one for you, if it's not one of your followers or friends?”

It took him a while to answer, he even closed his eyes for a bit. He sat up once he knew, sauntering over to his window that overlooked it all. "I imagine the one for me is someone that will bring peace to me and my life. Someone that for all my faults, can see who I am truly deep down. She will love me, and I will worship her. I will show her what true love feels like. Our souls will be one, because they always have been."

Something strange came over me. I don't know why I said it, but I uttered, "What about looks?"

Who cares about looks! Why did I ask about looks? I was a serious journalist, not a reporter for Star Magazine!

He looked over his shoulder at me, "Looks aren't that important to me. What matters is mind and soul. Who you are deep down. But if I had to pick… someone like you. I feel someone like you would be a perfect fit around here."

I wanted to give him the sassiest voice and rebuttal I could muster, but deep down I was shaking. Energy raced through my body, like I had been electrified.

He kept his back to me, staring out the window. “I'm not trying to be overly complimentary. I'm just being honest. But I can tell that you would do so well to have us around. To have... me, in your life. I bring a lot of love to people's lives, that's for sure. But I also bring a lot of drive, and passion, and intimacy.”

Intimacy?

“People open up when I'm around. They tell me everything, even things they never dreamt of telling another person. And I allow it, because clearly, they needed to express it. And once they do, it's like the floodgates open. Love and light just start pouring into them, into their life, and it's overwhelming - but so worth it. Doesn't that sound nice?”

I guess so...

“I bring happiness to so many. My friends have told me that they get jittery around me, I'm like a shot of adrenaline. And that energy, that power, courses through them. And when it gets expressed, it comes out in…” He took a long pause, turning back to me. The look in his eyes… I can remember it as if he was still in front of me. “Pleasurable ways.”

I hate admitting this, and it's embarrassing to say it even now, but I felt a jolt of... something, run through me. I won't even say what it was out loud, in fear of never being taken seriously again. But what happened after that, I don't know if words can even express it well.

Colby continued talking, but I couldn't pick up on any of it. He was talking up a storm, but I couldn't help the sensations I was feeling. Even in my wildest of fantasies, I've never felt anything in reality. It was all in my mind. But in that very moment, it felt like it was happening to me.

I felt lips tread up my neck, stopping just below my ear. A hot, low moan breathed into my ear. My spine tingled at the sound, my hands gripping the armrests of the chair. If I didn't know any better, I would think Colby was behind me, making those noises. My hands suddenly felt hands on top of them. My eyes widened, looking down, but nothing was there. I couldn't really move my arms once the invisible hands were there. My whole body felt numb and heavy, relaxed. My mind was the one on edge, worried as to why I was feeling all of this.

I hadn't eaten or drank anything at the compound. Maybe it was being poured into the room by the vents? I don't know, but something was making me feel this way.

The invisible hands drifted up my arms, massaging my shoulders for a moment. My head lulled back, almost hitting the back of the chair. My mind was on high alert, but my body was about ready to fall asleep. The hands relaxed me so much that my eyes began to flutter.

But then... they drifted down my torso. They traced along my neck gently, drawing small, insignificant patterns. The hands grew lower and lower until they finally were on my chest. I felt the hands cup my breasts softly, my breath hitching in my throat. They kneaded my tits gingerly, my nipples hardening in my bra. I bit my lip, praying that I wouldn't make a sound. It was hard not to, especially when the delicate fingers of these invisible hands found my nipples, gently pinching them.

I remember closing my eyes tight. Trying to clear my mind. This wasn't actually happening to me. There was no way. This was a psychosis or a drug hallucination that was happening to me and Colby was doing nothing about it.

One hand drifted down my body, stopping right above my sex. I suddenly became very aware at how wet I was, my eyes widening. I felt a rush of blood flow through my cheeks. I was about to get caught. These invisible hands made me wet, and I couldn't stop them.

And the terrible thing was, I didn't want them to. I wanted them to finish the job. To get me off... in front of Colby. One hand rose back up my body, grabbing my neck and turning my face to look up at him.

A deep voice whispered harshly, "You want him, don't you?"

I didn't say anything, afraid of what would come out. But deep down, I knew.

"Say it, and it's yours. Say you want him. And he'll have you... forever."

I opened my mouth. I felt the words almost leave my lips. I stuttered out something. I closed my eyes, my body feeling high.

And then in a split second, it was all gone. The room grew quiet, and Colby cleared his throat. "Y/N, are you okay? You look flush."

I jolted out of my seat, being able to move freely again. I looked around and realized Colby was sitting once more, staring at me concerned. I finished the interview abruptly, saying I had everything I needed - even though I definitely didn't. And then he uttered words I wish I didn't hear.

"If you want, come back tomorrow. We are having a celebration here. I would love if you came by, even if for an hour."

I nodded, not even really taking in what he said, and left. Trey was confused as to why I bum-rushed out of the room, but I never told him the truth. How could I?

I knew deep down I shouldn't have said yes to go to the party. But getting that footage would be killer for my article. Interviews are great, but a party at a cult compound? That's bound to end terribly (for Colby, but great for me).

But something in me can't shake this feeling that I basically signed myself up for the end. End of what? I'm not sure. But I'll find out tomorrow.

~~~~~~

Stepping back onto the compound made my heart race. I was nervous as all hell, and just wanted this day to be over with already. Today was my last day doing this story. I was counting the minutes to when I could go back to my office and write about how this place was insane, or whatever narrative I planned to write.

I had enough proof that something was up here. All I needed to do was a bit more digging. And during the party is when I planned to do it.

Avery walked up to me, smiling brightly. "Hey, Y/N! How are you doing today?"

"I'm okay. I know it's a bit early, but Colby never specified when the party was going to take place." I replied.

"No, you're totally fine. The party is gonna happen later. Right now, though, we have something going on that you'll definitely want to see." She clapped excitedly.

"Oh? And what is that?" I questioned.

"We are inducting a new member!" she exclaimed giddily. "There's a whole process that we do, and everyone is involved. I imagine that will bode well for your article if you see it firsthand. It's all taking place in that tent."

I stared over at the huge tent, its plastic cover doors strangely inviting.

I hummed, "Sure, I'll be there in a moment."

Avery nodded, turning on her heels and prancing over to the tent, following in other members.

"What's happening in there?" Trey asked.

"Apparently they are inducting someone new into their cult." I informed him.

He blinked. "Group, you mean."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, whatever. Make sure to capture as much as you can."

He shook his camera, giving me a wink, "On it."

We both walked in, many members still up and around, giving everyone hugs and chatting. Avery waved me down, patting the seat next to her. I walked over and sat. My body tingled in anticipation. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. My breathing picked up as everyone grew silent, the doors opening. Colby walked in, and people rushed to their seats.

Colby called out, "Hello everyone, good morning."

"Good morning, Colby." Everyone said in unison.

Jesus, that was creepy.

"A lot of things are going to be different today. First, we have guests watching our festivities. Y/N and Trey. Everyone, give them a hand." He gestured to the two of us.

The tent exploded in applause, Avery evening rubbing my back sweetly. It felt like I was being congratulated on something I didn't achieve, my cheeks flushing at the acknowledgement.

"And secondly, sadly, the new member we were going to have decided not to stay." He frowned, his face dropping.

Members gasped, some audible "oh no" echoed around the tent. Colby nodded his head sympathetically. “I know, but fret not. I think this will be a learning experiment for our new guests. We can still do our traditional motions of having someone join us. But, imagine it as if it's a mock ceremony instead. Ms. Y/N, would you please step up here?”

My heart stopped when he looked into my eyes, the first time since yesterday. I glanced at Avery, who grinned enthusiastically. She pushed me out of my seat, my body following her lead. I gazed around, finding Trey, who pulled away from his camera with a concerned look. I stumbled up the walkway, stepping on stage with Colby.

Colby lowered his voice so I could only hear him, moving away from the microphone. "I know you wanted to know about how we induct someone into our little home, so I figured why not use you as an example? We aren't actually inducting you, in case you’re worried. This is just what would happen if you were joining. Are you okay with that?"

I gazed around the huge, white tent, making eye contact with many people in the audience. They all looked so eager, waiting to hear my response. Some were even shaking with excitement.

I stuttered, feeling Colby squeeze my hands to bring my attention back to him, "I-I guess so."

"Fantastic." He turned, still holding one of my hands, "Alright everyone, you know the drill."

The crowd cheered, suddenly many lining up to a microphone at the side of the stage. Colby lightly pulled me to a cushioned throne, sitting me down. "So here's what's going to happen. People are going to come up to that microphone, and they are going to give you plenty of love. Genuine love. And then the next person will go, and so on until everyone has spoken."

"Everyone here? Like, all hundred plus of you?" I whispered.

"Yes. It's gonna be a while, so get cozy." He laughed, rubbing my shoulders.

Time felt frozen as slowly everyone came up and said something nice about me. Some were quick, mostly just commenting on how nicely I dressed or how the stories I had covered in the past were interesting and thoughtful. But others, it's like they could see into my soul and point out the exact thing I was insecure about. Everyone was complimentary and it was nice, but exhausting.

The line had dwindled down, and the next person to speak was Avery.

She stepped up the microphone, giving me a huge smile. "Hi, Y/N. I know we don't know each other that well, but I feel like I've known you my whole life. These couple days of getting to know you, being interviewed by you, have just been the highlight of my life. You are such a lovely presence to be around, and you deserve all the success you've gotten these last couple years."

Lots of people in the crowd nodded, agreeing with Avery. She continued, taking a deep breath, "I wanted to add - you are so deserving of love. You are easy to love too, and I hope that you are surrounded by people that make you feel that way. I know that this is just a mock ceremony, but I truly believe you would be such a great addition to us. I know you don't trust us, but I hope that soon you will find that you have a safe place here. Even if you never come back here again. This is your home now, and forever will be."

My chest heaved suddenly, tears welling up in my eyes. What the fuck is happening right now? Why was I crying at what she said? Sure, it was sweet and kind, but... how did she know I needed to hear that?

I turned my head, wiping the tears before anyone could see them fall. The crowd clapped as Avery left, going back to her seat.

The last couple people were a blur, my mind still hanging onto Avery's words. Suddenly, a hand was placed on my shoulder, jolting me out of my thoughts. I gazed up, seeing Colby's beautiful face staring down at me.

"The ceremony is done. Now, time to party."

~~~~~~

It had been a couple hours since the ceremony, my body feeling almost numb but jittery all at the same time. It was hard to shake all the love and words that were thrown my way today. Sure, some were probably just lying and saying random things because they had to, because they were conditioned to. But it freaked me out how some just... hit the right spots, knew my insecurities.

The party itself was fine. Two of the houses had parties happening in them, and since all three houses were connected, you could leave one and walk into another. There was a dancefloor full of people, and multiple fully stocked bars. Tons of food was at each table. It honestly looked like an adult prom. But I wasn't in a partying mood. Trey, on the other hand, was enjoying himself immensely. Girls and guys surrounded him, laughing at his jokes and bringing him plates of food and wine. One girl kept rubbing his thigh, staring at him longingly.

I wanted to leave. I had had enough of today, and I just wanted to be as far away from Empathic Love as I could be. I decided fresh air was what I needed, so I got up and slid out the back door of one of the houses, taking a deep breath. There were still too many people around, but I noticed the last house, the one with Colby's office in it, had no lights on and no one around it. I walked through the yards, stopping once I was by the back porch of the third house.

I sighed, leaning back against a railing. I could still hear the party going on, almost getting louder now that I wasn't there. I shook my head, feeling overwhelmed.

“Hey, Y/N. Fancy seeing you here." Colby's voice broke through my thoughts.

I exhaled. “Hi, Colby.”

He cocked his head, “Are you doing okay? You seem... upset.”

I felt this sudden rush of anger, knowing in reality he was to blame for all of this. “No, I'm not doing alright. I want to go home, I'm extremely overwhelmed by this party and all the people around here. That ceremony was too much for me to deal with, and the only way for me to get out of here is Trey and he's getting rubbed down by your followers!”

He took a step back, putting his hands up defensively. “Woah, that was a lot. You must have needed that release.”

I glared, “You think?”

“Look, I get it. It's a lot to take in. I myself don't love going to all these parties. It can be really overwhelming and if I'm honest, it gives me a lot of anxiety,” he admitted casually.

“You get anxiety?” I scoffed, “How? Everyone here loves you.”

“I know. That's the stressful part!” He sat on the railing, turning to me. “I'm the leader of this family. I have to make all the right decisions, and sometimes that means upsetting some of the people closest to me. Not to mention, so many eyes are on me, and it's just all too much sometimes. Even if you think this group is a cult, I still care for everyone here. I make sure they are fed, have a job, and have a life outside of here. And that's a lot to take on.”

“How do you deal with all of it, then?” I questioned.

“Patience. And a lot of alone time when I can get it - through meditation, specifically,” he laughed. “I was actually going to go meditate before I found you. Would you like to join me?”

I shook my head. “No, I'm good.”

“Are you sure? Look, at the very least, it will get you away from the party and all the noise. You don't even have to join me, you can just... sit in the room with me while I do it.” He argued, shrugging his shoulders.

I gazed at the party, everyone had grew rowdier while we were talking, and I didn't even notice. But my head felt like it was spinning from the noise alone. I sighed, nodding my head. Colby smiled, opening the door to the house, and I walked in first. I followed him up to his office, sitting down on his couch as he sat in the center of the room on the floor.

I raised an eyebrow. “That's where you meditate?”

“Yeah, I know it's a bit silly. But I feel so much more grounded... on the ground.” He replied cheekily.

I snickered, sitting back and watching him. He crossed his legs, resting his palms on his knees. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He took multiple breaths until they were low and shallow. I furrowed my brow, my eyes never leaving his form.

It almost seemed like he was asleep, or in a hypnosis of some sort. He was completely still and silent. A dull glow appeared at the top of his head, growing brighter and larger. I leaned away from him, my eyes widening at the sight. What the fuck is that...?

An aura grew around him, surrounding him completely. He didn't move, unfazed by it. His eyes remained closed, and with each breath it grew.

"How... are you doing that?" I uttered, my mouth a gape.

"Doing what?" He spoke in a monotone voice.

"That... aura. How are you doing that?" I pressed.

“I've always been able to do it since I was young. You can get closer if you want to.” He suggested.

How did he know I was still far away?

I stepped off the couch, moving closer to him. I kept my distance, but the aura was almost pulling me in. It was beautiful, the light reflecting and growing bigger. I was almost engulfed by it, but it stopped right before getting to me. I could feel its warmth, its energy. It was calling to me, beckoning me to step towards it.

The aura wrapped around me, filling me with light and love. Or at least that's what it felt like. I gasped at the sensation, my legs shaking underneath me. I breathed in deeply, my lungs filling up with fresh air. I didn't feel like I was in the room anymore. I felt like I was flying, the world almost zooming around me.

“Let your body relax, Y/N. I know it's so much to take in.” Colby’s calming voice spoke.

I felt my body give out on me, falling onto the soft rug. I laid down on my back, staring up at the ceiling. Visions began to swirl in my mind and around me.

How is any of this happening?

He answered, reading my mind. “Because of me. Because of us. Because of the connection you and I share.”

My body felt very heavy, unable to move even if I wanted to. I could move my eyes, and out of the corner of them, I saw Colby stand up. The aura remained around us, almost engulfing the entire room.

“You know, I knew the moment you stepped foot on to the compound's grounds, you were going to like it here. You were going to stay.” He smiled sincerely, gazing down at my body.

I blinked, confused. “What? I-I don't plan to-“

He cut me off, “This is the final step, Y/N. Everyone gave you love, people celebrated you, and now... I'm allowing you in.”

I wanted to shake my head, but couldn’t. “But I don't want to join.”

He chuckled, “Yes you do. If you didn't want it, none of this would have worked on you. You wouldn't be seeing what is directly in front of your eyes.”

The visions morphed around me, suddenly showing Colby and I. But we weren't us, we were different people, at a different point in time. But I could feel it was us. We were in love, growing a family together. Our lives were beautiful.

What the fuck is this?

“That is our past, or present, or future,” he winked. “The thing is, Y/N, I never seek out anyone. They all seem to find me.”

“That's not true, you emailed my boss about being interviewed.” I remarked.

"Oh, you are so forgetful, Y/N. You emailed us, begging to interview me and anyone else that said yes. I only agreed because I knew you wanted to meet with me. You sounded very eager to join in your email." Colby pulled out a piece of paper, reading from it happily, "Dear whoever reads this, I'm hoping to score an interview with your group, Empathic Love, for an article I am writing. I would love to meet Colby, and really pick apart his brain on why he created said group. Maybe I could even join if you guys win me over. Please let me know if any of this sounds of interest to you. Sincerely, Y/N of Global Gazette."

He leaned down, staring into my eyes mischievously, "Now does that sound like someone that didn't want to be here?"

My heart raced, suddenly scared. “Why don't I remember writing that?”

“I couldn't tell you. All I know is you wanted to be here. And there's a reason for it.” He sat down on the ground next to me. I wanted to get up and run, but my body stayed still, heavy. “Growing up, I realized very early on that certain people just... gravitated to me. A lot of women, yes. But really it was anyone. And not only did they gravitate towards me, they became obsessed with me. At first, I was confused, uninterested in ever going through that. Who wants someone obsessed with them? But then I realized how much good I could do with so many people rallying behind me.”

He continued, “As I got older, my ability, or power, or whatever it is - grew twice as strong. Suddenly, all the people around me followed me, did anything and everything I could ask for. Then, I began getting visions, and I understood why this was the case. Everyone here: we had a past life together. Their souls and mine have always been connected. They find me and then continue to stay. And almost always, they fall in love with me. It's just so glorious.”

“You're insane.” I mumbled.

He hummed, “Interesting, especially since you’re seeing the same things I am.”

It was true. The whole time he spoke, I saw vision after vision of our past lives together. We were always destined to meet, destined to be with one another.

“But the thing is, I know you're different from all the rest. You and I, we are meant to be together forever. You are meant to love me forever, and I am meant to love you. That's why my abilities affect you so greatly.” Colby divulged.

“What if I say no? What if I want to leave?” I grunted, trying to shake free.

“You've had the ability to go all this time. You just don't want to. You know how much love I can give you. You know how much pleasure I can give you as well.” He bit his lip, his eyes snaking up and down my body, “You've known that since yesterday, haven't you?”

Blood rushed to my cheeks, memories of yesterday played in my head.

“And do you know what’s crazy about that? That's not even half the pleasure I can give you.” Colby kneeled next to me, a devilish smile on his lips. His hand lightly brushed my face, cupping my warm cheek sweetly.

A burst of arousal raced through me, my body spasming in ecstasy. “Oh my God!”

“I know, it's a lot to take in. But I just want to make you feel good, darling. You deserve it.” He leaned in slowly, “You are mine, after all.”

"This is what your followers meant by a deep and sensual mental connection," I groaned, feeling hands all over my body, touching me in the most lustful of ways. "You got inside their heads and mentally fucked them."

“...That's one way of wording it. But if they didn't trust me, if they didn't already want me, it wouldn't happen.” He winced playfully, “So in reality, it's your fault.”

“Fuck you.” I growled.

“But baby, that's what's happening,” Colby laughed darkly. “Those hands, those kisses and bites... that's all mine. I can tell you're losing it. You want me real bad, but you don't want to admit it. I get it, you’re overwhelmed.”

I felt like my body was getting electrocuted with pleasure. My hips grinded into the air, needing some form of relief. My nipples strained against my bra, wanting any form of touch. I closed my eyes tightly, embarrassment rolling through me as I felt my damp panties against my sex.

Fuck, he was right. I did want this, and him.

I didn't even need to say it out loud. Suddenly I felt a cock slid inside of me, too easily from how wet I had become. I ripped my eyes open, looking around. Colby was watching me from his chair, smirking.

He palmed his hardening dick through his jeans. “Imagine how much better it would be if I was actually inside of you, filling you up with every. fucking. inch.”

I thought about screaming Trey’s name. Maybe he could help me.

He grimaced, rolling his eyes. “He won’t do anything for you, sweetheart. He joined our group just a couple weeks ago. Right around the time you sent the email. So really, you have all the more reason to join us.”

“Even if I join this cult, I will never stay here. I will leave here and never come back.” I hissed.

“And that is your choice to make. But Y/N,” his gaze lowered at me, his eyes intense. “You will never be satisfied. You got barely a taste of what I can offer you, and you're gonna want it forever. Just like everyone else here.”

“You're a- fuuuuuucckk!” I moaned, the cock inside of me hitting my spot deeper. I caught my breath, glaring at him. “Y-You're a freak.”

“Says the girl almost coming to my invisible dick.” He spat, clenching his jaw.

I bit my lip, annoyed at how right he was. The hands exploring my body gripped my ass, slapping it lustfully.

“Okay, okay. I'll agree with you. I am a bit of a freak of nature. But let's not act like I'm some monster. I let people leave. But they always come back because they choose to. I can't force people that far. Pinky promise,” He stuck his pinky out, and I rolled my eyes defiantly. He huffed, “It's not like this place is Scientology, for Christ's sake. We are love. I am love.”

“You are the most tainted form of love that I've ever met.” I retorted, gripping the rug to hide my building arousal.

He deadpanned, “Ow. That hurt.”

Colby strutted over to me, laying down right beside me. The pleasure grew more intense, my hips bucking desperately. His one hand hovered over me, never touching me. It didn't matter, because having him this close felt like his whole body was on top of mine, fucking me hastily.

“If you allow yourself to enjoy this feeling, you might actually come. Because I won't force you to. I'll just keep you here, for hours, riving in pleasure until your brain melts into goo.” He smirked, “How's that sound?”

"I-I hate you." I gritted my teeth. Why did I feel like I was lying?

"No you don't. But soon you'll be able to admit the truth." He leaned his mouth in close, his voice low and sincere, "I know that this place might not be what you imagined your home to be like, but it is. You will always have a place here. You will always be loved here. And I know that's what you want deep down. To be loved unconditionally. To have every fiber of your being satisfied. And if you let me, I will do that. I will please you every night, however you want me to. But for me to do that, you have to let me in. You have to let love in."

The cock inside of me pounded faster and faster. I could barely think anymore. The only thing on my mind... was him. The lives we had together, the life we could be having. I knew I shouldn't want it, but I did. I wanted him in my life, forever. He was what was missing, and I couldn't live one more day without him.

I mewled loudly, my hips thrusting up erotically. Colby's hand cupped my face gently, turning my head to look him in the eyes.

His alluring eyes stared deep into mine, his jaw clenched. "You will always be mine. I am love, and that is all you could ask for."

"You are love, and that's all I could ask for." I repeated mindlessly, grabbing onto his arm desperately.

His face softened, “That's right baby. You're such a good girl for me. My good girl, forever. You want that, don't you?”

“Yessss, please Colby. I want to be yours forever.” I keened.

"You will be. I promise, you will always be mine." His eyes darkened, the pupils almost completely blown out. "You will never leave."

"I won't!" I trembled, my orgasm building closer and closer to the edge.

“You wanna come, Y/N? Get close for me. Don't I feel so good inside of you? You like when I do this?” Colby's hand snaked down my body, rubbing my clit sensually.

I begged wantonly, dying to come. "Pleaseeeeee! Please let me come! I need it! I need you."

"Of course you do, baby. You and I need each other. Our connection is unlike anyone else's. Tell me the truth and I'll let you come." He leaned in close, his lips brushing against my ear, "Tell me, baby. Say it..."

"I love you," I cried out, right on the edge. I direly wanted him to say it back, knowing it was already the truth.

“I love you too, baby,” he smiled sweetly, kissing my cheek. “Now, come for me.”

Hot, white pleasure shot through my body. I had the strongest orgasm of my life, my mind shattering as I rode every wave of pleasure that went through me. Colby stayed by my side, shushing me as my high lowered down more and more. He kept whispering 'I love you' repeatedly, my mind unable to hear or think anything else after a while.

I blacked out at some point but awoke when my body was lifted off the floor and placed softly into a bed. “Wha... happenin?” I slurred.

“Relax, darling. I just brought you to my bed. Well, our bed now,” he chuckled. “I want you to get your rest because tomorrow is a big day for you.”

“What's tomorrow?” I murmured.

“Your introduction to everyone as my soulmate.” Colby informed happily, tucking me in. “Everyone will be so pleased that you changed your mind about joining us.”

I nodded my head, snuggling deep into his bed. He dimmed the lights, whispering softly, "Welcome home, Y/N."

[mariaofdoranelle]

The Courtship Deception - Part 4: Wanderlust

Fic masterlist

Written for @throneofglassmicrofics

I faded the smut to black, sorry! I’m just a gemini who talks too much, I’m doing miracles with this word count already LOL

Warnings: closed-door sexytimes

Words: 863

“You really are a prince, aren’t you?” Aelin whispered to Rowan while ushering him out of the party.

“Technically, yes, but not really.”

“How does that work?”

“It works really well after some family drama with a tabloid-obsessed aunt.”

Dodging her father’s acquaintances was easier than avoiding his men’s questioning looks. Well, that’s what happens when her father told a bunch of big guys that they’re entitled to every detail of her life: they believed it. But they wouldn’t cause a scene if she didn’t either, and that’s how she was able to move through the crowd effortlessly with a man that wasn’t one of her suitors.

“Where’re you going?” Lorcan hissed, one of her Rhoe’s most trusted and least subtle men.

“Out!” Aelin barked while dragging Rowan out the main doors. But the man’s eyes weren’t on her, and something dawned on her. He was the one who came with Fenrys from Doranelle, wasn’t he? Was he friends with Rowan too, or just acquaintances?

Out of the main venue, Aelin found a storage closet of sorts and shoved Rowan in it, locking herself inside with him.

He sighed, taking in the tiny room. “I didn’t know you liked it tawdry.”

She crossed her arms. “You were talking about family drama and tabloids.”

“When we texted last night, I thought you’d want my mouth for entirely different reasons.”

“Well, I—“

Aelin was silenced by his hand holding onto the back of her neck, tilting her head toward his.

He raised a brow in question. *What do you want?* he seemed to ask.

Well, fuck. This was such a cheap trick, but she could Google her answers later to figure it out. Neck-grabbing with those rough hands? Not so easy to do on her own.

Aelin closed the distance between them, and their hands found each other’s bodies like magnets. Rowan’s kisses were rough and hungry; when he backed her against a shelving unit and sneaked a hand up her thigh, Aelin grasped how thoroughly ravished she was about to be.

She lost sight of her initial goal completely.

˜˜

Rowan had one hand on her waist and another using the shelf to hold himself upright. They were both panting, breaths mingling in that near claustrophobic closet.

He grabbed a few napkins behind her to dispose of the condom, and that was her cut to fix her hair and smooth down her dress.

“Can you—“ Aelin was brutally interrupted by a kiss. “I’ll be right back.”

She peeked out the door. The only person close by was Lorcan, looking grumpier than ever.

“Psst!” she called him. “Yes, c’mere.”

“You missed dinner.”

“Your friend didn’t.” Aelin smirked with the memory. Him kneeling before her, face between her thighs, was definitely something. “What time is it?”

Aelin had no way of knowing—she didn’t have her phone with her, and Rowan would do anything to avoid their conversation.

“Late.”

“But is it too late?”

The man gave her a hard look, and it was all she needed to know—no, it wasn’t too late, but she should get back to the party before her dad notices it and incites chaos. Still, she got back to the storage closet and locked the door again.

“Round two so soon?”

Aelin crossed her arms. “Family drama and tabloids. Spill.”

“You’re not unlocking that door until I tell you, I take it?”

“Absolutely not.”

Rowan sighed, but conceded. Then, he went on about how much he disagreed with Queen Maeve’s contrarian policies, and the rupture it created between him and his family. About how he left Doranelle without looking back, and only remained as a prince in name, since the royal family wouldn’t rescind his title for the media havoc it’d cause—even if he wasn’t so much in the public eye.

Prompted by Aelin, he told her about how he found a remote job with his engineering degree and traveled the world with no royal privileges and no money—for a prince’s standards, at least—, met people who weren’t royals or billionaires. How he lived his life with no constraints.

She liked it. She wanted it. To live freely, to travel without a team of bodyguards who reported everything to her father, to be able to drive on her own.

Just like that, Aelin saw a new plan unfold right before her eyes.

Moving from her father’s highly-guarded mansion to Dorian’s or Chaol’s castle with a different set of guards was just trading one pair of shackles for another.

But Rowan… she could live like him. She could live with him—anywhere and everywhere, like he’s been living so far. Rhoe could be so blinded by her having a royal title he’d forget that her groom was penniless. Rowan didn’t sound like the type to hold her down, he sounded like the type who would let her live her own life, or even give her a divorce if she truly desired it, no politics involved.

She’d keep her money and her relationship with her father, but also have freedom. It was perfect. It was her best plan so far.

“Rowan…” she trailed, uncertain of his reaction to her next words. “Will you marry me?”

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[wetcatspellcaster]

Do you have any writing tips for newbie fic writers? Your descriptions are gorgeous. Thank you for pieces BTW, it's my favorite 'piece' of writing ❤️

hi anon, thank you for the kind words!💞💞 I'm flattered that I'm someone that you'd think to ask this question, so I'll do my best to answer! I've put my response beneath a keep reading cut to prevent it being a long post :)

I wasn't sure how to interpret this question, so I'll focus on 'technical' (?) tips mostly. Hope any of them help, in some small way!

my main tip to new fic writers is: write, first and foremost, for yourself, and to feed yourself. I've seen this perspective get put through the disk-horse ringer of late, so take it or leave it, or take it with as much of a pinch of salt as you need. But truly, from the bottom of my heart and from my position of sudden newfound popularity, this is the most important lesson I was ever given and so I have to say it. Popularity is not guaranteed. Even a popular fic will have haters and people who think it objectively sucks, and the readers who like you will never be fully pleased with what you've delivered. This could all be very depressing and cause an author to lose motivation.... if you make it the criteria for success in the first place. If you make the criteria for success your own happiness (or perhaps the happiness of you and a few close pals), providing yourself with what you, specifically, want to see, you will probably want to keep writing regardless of all other factors. Produce fics that you want to reread when you need comfort, when you are sick, and when you want to see your blorbos exactly the way you want them. This will make any fic worthwhile to you, regardless of stats, and prevent you from writing things that will suffer if your heart isn't in it! (this doesn't preclude gift fics/prompts! sometimes your heart can be 100% in providing food for others. find your key motivators, and feed that - a healthy amount - if you're trying to get into writing as a hobby!)

Now, onto my writing tips! I don't consider myself an expert and these are more lessons that have helped me, specifically, to improve my writing. But maybe something in here will be of use!

Bc you say you like descriptions... I tend to go into detail only when it's an essential thing that needs to be described. Leave wider details for readers to fill in with their own beautiful mind-palaces, and this gives you permission to go ham on what matters. What is it that matters? maybe it's a piece of the environment (say, a soul jar) or maybe it's just how hot one part of your ship is, in their hot clothes or out of them. If you focus on the important stuff but leave the rest to background, this not only creates a good balance of action to description, but it also shows the reader what they should prioritise in the scene.

I also google '[WORD] synonyms' a lot, for descriptions specifically. Which seems like it might be condescending advice, but it both helps you find different words if you're worried you're repeating yourself, and sometimes confirms that yes. You are using the best word actually, as you were.

Get a good balance of complex/simplistic words, as well as a good balance of complex/simplistic sentences. Sometimes you need a flowery description, sometimes you just need to state explicitly what is happening or the way things are. Tone will shift depending on your balance of these two things, so test the waters and see what works for you!

If you feel like you've written too much dialogue, the answer is probably no, you haven't written too much dialogue - for fic specifically. Most people are reading fic bc they want their faves to interact more. You are giving them more interaction and they will probably love it.

If you find phrases you like in the books/fic you read, it isn't plagiarism to use them so long as you recontextualise them. I'm certain I've used other people's words multiple times, particularly for my descriptions/imagery, and this is totally ok so long as the context is original. If you're worried, or its a whole sentence/interaction you like, examine the sentence/interaction and work out why you like it so much. Is it the sentence structure? Is the character dynamic? Is it the way the kiss plays out? Take the things you find sexiest in other people's writing and find ways to incorporate it into your own work!

I proofread by reading aloud. Yes, I sound mental and unhinged. My cats are worried about me. But this not only helps you catch mistakes, it helps to test the flow of a sentence! If you're ever worried a sentence is too long/a line of dialogue doesn't sound in character, read it aloud! This will help you work out if it's flowing or not, and if it isn't then you'll get some clues as to why!

Don't be afraid to take risks, if you want to take risks! This can apply to anything: being brave enough to put in a joke you're not sure people will find funny, describing something in a way you're worried people will find weird, tackling something from a perspective or POV that you find challenging. This may be a more intermediate tip, but you can start with small risks, and experimenting helps you find your writing voice! Taking risks makes your writing unique :) and I can't explain how much better my writing has gotten since I gave myself specific challenges. You will not get it perfectly write 100% of the time (there are some parts of Pieces that are weak compared to other parts) but it will always help you improve.

[mushroom-jack]

Tompercy AU Masterpost

As I'm taking a step back from tompercy for the time being, and having just finished my main ASOR-related WIP, I thought it would be a good idea to gather all my tompercy thoughts all in one accessible place (written and non-written). This post is also linked in my pinned. I am still technically taking prompts for this ship, though no promises in terms of filling them; you can also request any AU from the unwritten section of this post, and I'll do my best to oblige since I already have thoughts for most of those :)

Also, anyone is allowed to write a fic based on any of my prompts, or transform any of my works (ie translation, writing another story in one of my established universes, write something inspired by my fics/prompts, etc; just don’t repost my fics wholesale) — I simply ask that you link it to me somehow so that I can check it out!

Written

Superhero AU: a civilian and a mercenary (mid-length; series of one-shots) Features Percy as the only civilian in a family of superheros, a Deathstroke-inspired Tom as the world's deadliest mercenary, and a something-with-benefits type relationship.

Royalty AU(s): you should see me in a crown (short; series of one-shots) Tom is the heir to the throne, and Percy is a spy on a mission to kill the king totally normal librarian. Bizarre yearning vibes.

a mask of my own face (short one-shot) Mostly platonic, but still tompercy-centric; Tom is a well-known mercenary, and Percy is his mysterious masked client.

Vampires AUs: Crimson (short one-shot) Percy is a vampire, Tom is a wizard. Unarguably erotic, but somehow not erotica.

Sanguine (even shorter one-shot) Tom is a vampire, Percy is a wizard. Spiritual successor to Crimson. Somehow even more erotic (but still not erotica).

Faerie (And Adjacent) AUs: offer me his lips (short one-shot) Percy is fae, because the the urge to make him some kinda creature is never-ending. Tom is a wizard hoping to make a deal.

monsters of a feather (short one-shot + bonus) Tom is one of the most feared pirates to still sail the seas; Percy is a siren caged in the bowels of his ship, only ever let out to lure other ships into Tom's waiting hands.

ASOR Canon Divergence: Beloved (short two-shot) AU where tompercy is roommates during the war. Bizarre vibes just in general; the first tompercy fic I ever wrote.

crucio (short two-shot) AU where Percy becomes Tom's sworn companion at some unspecified time, presumably post-war. Bizarrely kind of erotic, but mostly fluffy.

lay all your love on me (fairly longform; it's about 30k words) ASOR alternate ending; canon divergent from the Forbidden Forest confrontation. Tom learns how to love. Featuring some of my favorite tags from any of my fics: "Percy Weasley is Bad at Feelings / 'Bad at feelings' doesn't even BEGIN to describe what's wrong with Tom Riddle". >> Now with sequel, which is about 10k words, and is mostly erotica with character study.

communing with dangerous men (shortform multi-shot) Vaguely associated with lay all your love; a Percy in some sort of post-war established relationship is thrown back in time to the late 1940s, when Tom is working at Borgin and Burke's. An even darker tompercy than I usually write, with lots of codependency, obsessive devotion, and eroticized gore.

1943 (short one-shot) Percy time travels for a third time, back to 1943; this is a gothic writing style study, but also one of my favorites on this list.

sworn companionship (short one-shot) similarly to it's golden hour somewhere, this is a collection of vignettes – variations on the theme "Percy Weasley as Tom Riddle's sworn companion". Features an ASOR bad ending, a Hogwarts AU, a Wool's Orphanage AU, and vignettes associated with lay all your love on me and communing with dangerous men

Other/Miscellaneous: it's golden hour somewhere (collection of short one-shots) This is a collection of three one-shots featuring tompercy interacting in the sun, following the theme, "in another world, we could've been so happy". Features a professor AU, a coffee shop AU, and a bonus/missing scene canon compliant to ASOR.

it ain't love (if it don't hurt) (extremely short one-shot) unclear what universe this takes place in; basically erotica, but lacking genitalia. The intimacy of torture.

little rabbit (short pwp one-shot) An omegaverse porn w/o plot, featuring a wolf!Tom and a bunny!Percy. No heat/rut/mating cycles, if you're not into that sort of thing, but there are still cnc elements; Tom chases Percy down in the woods.

pomegranate hearts (mid-length; series of one-shots) Featuring Percy as Hades, king of the dead and the underworld, Tom as Persephone, young god of spring all growing, sprouting things, and a tangible power dynamic so skewed in Percy's favor that their relationship comes out looking something like one of equals. Also, has a wider cast of characters than my usual fics, including Abraxas, Severus, and a more fanon-flavored Harry Potter than an ASOR flavored one.

From My Ideas Folder (Unwritten):

a civilian and a mercenary AU: Percy is trying to get a coffee when the shop is suddenly being held up. He's fully ready to go along with the hostage situation, just wanting to get his coffee and then go to work, but Tom shows up out of the blue and is having absolutely none of it.

Alternative relationship reveal: 5 times someone found out about Percy and Tom, and 1 time Percy actually told them. Featuring, probably, Tonks, Severus, and various Weasleys.

Time Travel AU(s): Percy time travels to the early 1940s and beats the shit out of someone for calling Tom a mudblood.

Time Traveler's Wife-esque AU where the sworn companionship ritual between Percy and Voldemort goes wrong or gets interrupted; a Percy who's soul is fundamentally attached to Tom's gets flung through time, appearing to young Tom at various points in his life (either involving scenes at Wool's Orphanage, Hogwarts, while Tom is working at Borgin and Burke's, while he is traveling the world, etc... OR Percy is transported to Tom immediately after he makes each horcrux, for a total of 7 times).

AU where Percy throws himself back in time a 3rd time to the 1930s... and it severely fucks up, leaving him in the body of 5 year old without the full mind, maturity, or memories of his adult self, with only snippets of nightmares and general motivations to guide him. He grows up alongside Tom at Wool's Orphanage, trying to protect him and take care of him, and they share an extremely intimate co-dependent relationship as kids that starts to rupture when they receive their Hogwarts letters. A snippet of this AU can be found in sworn companionship, and it's tentatively named guardian angel

communing with dangerous men sequel tentatively named step two: getting a pet dog potentially coming soon... 👀

ASOR Canon Divergence: Alternate ending where Tom wins the war, but Percy dies and comes back as a ghost (but Wrong; possibly soul-related complications, something sworn companionship related???). Percy has some form of amnesia, and either follows Tom around like a lost dog or haunts their flat, which Tom refuses to move out of for some reason.

Alternate ending where post-war Percy is told that all physical forms of Voldemort have been successfully destroyed, but a remnant remains harmlessly attached to his soul, mostly powerless, destined to die once he does. This results in a benevolent possession, Venom-esque dynamic where Tom is a snarky asshole living in Percy's head and occasionally taking over his body, and Percy just has to deal with that now.

Lay all your love adjacent t4t AU, with a transmasc!Tom who transitioned in childhood + promptly obliviated everyone into believing he was always male, and a very repressed transfem!Percy that Tom is slowly manipulating and coercing into being more feminine. I myself am genderqueer, but I find that I rarely write trans characters, so this would ultimately be an interrogation of that habit, a joyful study of transgender identity, and a massive fuck you to JK Rowling. Tentatively named portrait of a female

Other/Miscellaneous: Selkie!Percy AU tentatively named Salinity. Percy saves a young, orphanage-era Tom, they interact throughout the years, and Tom eventually returns to steal Percy's coat.

Animal hybrid AU with a bunny!Percy living in a cottage doing wizard stuff, and a wolf!Tom who breaks and enters in order to steal a magical artifact (I'm thinking a horcrux that Percy found by complete accident). And then he accidentally gets dog adopted. And then Percy has to contend with the fact that his new wolf familiar is actually a particularly attractive dark wizard. This one would be really funny honestly, it just seems kinda long. Also, Percy has massive glasses and velvety ears, by necessity of the AU.

Percy is a wizard who traveled a long ways to learn arcane magics from the immortal sage he heard is living in this mountaintop cave. Tom is a dragon that lives in a mountaintop cave, and who is not against adding this plucky young wizard to his hoard.

Short one-shot; Tom is a professional duelist, and Percy is very impressed.

Some sort of mixed-generation AU where Tom and Percy have been together since Hogwarts; after graduation they move in together, and Percy provides for the two of them with his Prewett heirship and ministry job. Tom is promiscuous and disloyal, Percy is devoted and willfully ignorant of Tom's various affairs – when he eventually confronts Tom, Tom casually leaves him for one of the many purebloods he's been courting, leaving Percy searching for a way to win him back. Vaguely inspired by the novel Naomi by Junichiro Tanizaki.

Kink community AU where Tom is an event host in the local community and Percy has stumbled upon the scene by complete accident at age 18-19. Drawn to Percy's naivete and vulnerability, Tom takes care to portray himself as being trustworthy (as he's something of a community leader), and takes Percy under his wing in order to take advantage of him.

Trafficlight SMP/death games AU with Tom as an extremely prolific killer on his red life, and Percy on his green life but nonetheless absolutely dedicated to serving Tom. Featuring red life bloodlust, irrational loyalty to what should've been a temporary alliance, betrayal, and reluctant affection/devotion. Tentatively named I bet on losing dogs.

Percy Weasley is the Dark Lord's favorite Death Eater. Could be ASOR bad ending/Voldemort wins AU, could be a Percy legitimately chooses to join Voldemort AU

[lorifragolina]

Sweet Pies

Last entry for Mungrove Summer Bingo 2023 prompt: A1 Carnival It has been a large ride, thanks for all!!

@mungrovebingos

Carnival

Eddie Munson collected the mail near the gate while he’s returning home with his car. He found a brown envelope and he ripped the paper, smiling silly when he took a magazine from it.

The naked truth said the main title on the cover of that number of Carnival, the music and lifestyle magazine, where was a full body photo of Eddie, with a cowboy hat, a leather harness around his naked, tattooed chest and his thumb tucked in the belt of some black skinny jeans, pushing then down showing his happy trail.

The allusive pictures were not the spicier thing in the article about him, his music and especially his private life.

Eddie scoffed and started the car again, finally approaching the entrance of his mansion.

Billy and Steve would literally go crazy about it.

Eddie entered the fancy hotel in Boston, followed by an ice cold wind blow. He shot a flirting look to the receptionist.

“I’m here for Nancy Wheeler from Carnival” and in a minute a woman in a red suit came from a table of the restaurant, extending a hand to him and driving to a private table. Eddie took off the scarf with the skulls he was wearing (a silly present from his boyfriends that time he caught an illness insisting to get out without a jacket, being very fussy during an entire week) and ordered a double coffee, then sat down to relax on the small sofa.

Nancy placed a little recorder between them and started with some light chat, then took a notebook from her purse and stared at a page with a pen, for a minute or two.

“Do you mind if I smoke?” asked Eddie. The journalist shook her head, they were in the smokers area of the restaurant. He took his zippo from the pocket, looking at the engraved orca on it for a moment. It was Billy’s lighter and he took it by mistake when he left home, causing a fuss that Steve could barely manage. The gold ring at his finger sparkled when he moved his hand close to his face.

“So you’re ready to start the interview?” Nancy asked, checking the recorder.

“For you I’m always ready” cooed Eddie, and Nancy had a little shiver, although she knew he wasn’t interested in her, he couldn’t resist for a second to flirt.

She cleared her throat.

“Ok, let’s start” She smiled. “So, you started your solo career this year and you already have a new album rising in the ranks…”

He moved into his new mansion in Montecito last September, just a month after the last Corroded Coffin concert. The house was quite good and he had just to set his studio in the basement and fix a little the garden. Billy and Steve kept their apartments in Malibu and Portland, but only technically, in fact they lived there with him. Steve moved to the little keeper’s outbuilding in the garden, to write quietly, and sometimes he played the security guard at the gate, a thing that literally turned Eddie feral.

He had already planned to release a solo album at some point and had most of the songs already written, so the album was easy to record. He planned a little USA tour for the winter and, despite all his effort, an Europe tour between spring and summer. He was adamant to have at least a month free next summer to go away with his boyfriends, and although they have busy summer plans too, they all were looking forward to going to Mykonos in July.

Surprisingly, the album was full of love songs and ballads, and was an instant success. His fandom immediately associated those songs to his relationship with Billy; he wrote some of them for Steve too, but they didn’t come out yet as a poly couple, but for the moment it was enough. Thanks to the news of the house, they didn’t go out a lot lately, and they were happy in this way.

“And what did you feel when your bandmates decided to temporarily retire from the live shows? Are you still on good terms? And do you think about coming back with them sooner or later? -

Eddie smiled and shook the ashes off the cig.

Gareth and Martha tied the knot in late September in his hometown in Indiana, from when Corroded Coffin started and they all ran away just when they could. The ceremony was sweet and intimate, Gareth's Irish catholic family wasn’t quite happy Martha showed her almost six month belly, but she was so pretty and sweet that nobody cared after a while.

Eddie attended with Billy and Steve, Gareth insisted on that, and Billy, as usual, passed almost all the ceremony whipping softly behind his sunglasses. They felt a little too cocky and didn’t pay enough attention to professional and amateur photographers and someone almost caught the three kissing together behind the trees.

After the dinner Eddie was frankly drunk, Steve and Billy never saw him at that point, despite the heroic quantity of alcohol he usually drank when he was happy. He also lit a few joints and they were wetting themselves from laughing.

Eddie was dancing with Gareth's great-grandma, a little old lady with a cane who was incredibly agile despite it.

“I’m a little horny” Eddie drunk-said to the lady, who luckily was a little deaf. Billy was dancing with Gareth's little niece and overheard the conversation, his belly hurting for the laughs.

“Ok Eddie, time to go” He took Eddie and tried to drag him out of the dance floor; he whispered what had just happened to Steve and he doubled up with laughter too.

“Come on Eddie, sit down here” and Billy sat down too to catch his breath.

“Once I took a schoolm… a school… a friend over there and we caug… we caught… we thought there were wolves…” Eddie kept munching nonsense for some time, while Steve was trying to give him water.

“You want to kill me, this shit kills,” Eddie kept saying, trying to catch the glass but missing it badly. “You hate me? Do you hate me?”

Billy was in tears. “Come on, Billy please, put yourself together, you’re always crying!” mocked Steve, provoking more laughs and more tears.

Finally, Eddie drank the water and stayed for a moment, regaining control a little . Suddenly, he becomes a little pensative.

“Ehi” he said out of nothing. “Want to go there” and he pointed far in front of him. He got up and started walking to the woods.

“Eddie, Eds, wait!” Billy tried to stop him, but Eddie took his hand and they followed him.

A minute walking from the hotel they came to the trailer park. Eddie told them about his childhood with Wayne in a trailer and, although he bought his uncle a fancy house, he kept the trailer and sometimes went to rest there.

Eddie knew where the spare key was and they entered, in silence.

“Here is where you used to live?”

Eddie nodded. He entered his old room that Wayne was keeping as when he lived there, just a little more tidy and clean. He sat in the bed.

“You know? I never had a fuck here”.

Billy looked to Steve and found the same sparkling glare in his eyes. He knelt at Eddie’s side, and Steve knelt at the other.

“No? Really?” said Billy. “Why?” he opened Eddie’s belt and Steve took off his shirt from his pants.

“I wasn’t out, and I ran away right after the graduation” he smiled remembering while the two took off his pants and underwear completely.

“And now?” asked Steve, jerking a little Eddie’s dick, hard and leaking already.

“And now I will fuck both of you here” he grinned, pushing Steve��s head on his legs.

Billy whined biting the pillow while Eddie spread his legs a bit more. He was on his stomach, naked, a leg bent and filled by his boyfriend so good and deep. Eddie was grabbing him by his waist and fucking him with a blissful face and eyes closed. Steve jerked himself near Billy’s face, then pushed his dick in his mouth. Billy moaned and looked at him with eyes full of tears while Steve stuffed all his length deep into his throat. Eddie extended to kiss Steve passionately and pushed faster into Billy.

“Fuck, yes Eddie, yes” cried Billy, grabbing the sheet on the verge of coming.

“No” said Eddie, coming out from him. He tilted his head to Steve and he took his site behind Billy.

“Do you want more, Billy?” whispered Eddie on Billy’s ear, kissing him deeply with his tongue in his hungry lips.

“Yes please, please” he whined, jacking himself off on the bed. Eddie kissed Steve again and tickled him on his spine, rubbing on his tailbone, then pushing his fingers on him, kneeling behind him spreading the leg, still hard and willing.

“Come on, sweet pie” he whispered to Steve. He lined his dick to Billy’s pulsing ring, wet for Eddie’s precum and well stretched. He entered with a single move and Billy arched and cried. Eddie pushed him against the bed again, then coated his dick in lube again and glided smoothly inside Steve. He didn’t lose the pace he’s keeping in Billy, but arched in turn and bit his own lips.

Billy started shaking under them both and his breath broke, he jerked himself faster and pushed his face on the pillow coming hard in his own hand.

Eddie trapped Steve between his loins and Billy’s ass and came inside Steve pulling so hard his hips that Steve screamed in pain. Eddie collapsed on the bed at Billy’s side and Steve kept a little inside him, after loading him with a growl.

“Fuck…” he whined come out from Billy, letting him leaking and trembling, still spreading on the bed.

Eddie hugged Billy and Steve leaned his head on Billy’s back.

“So we revenged young Eddie, right?” whispered Billy, smiling sweetly.

Eddie whined, and didn’t answer, just hugged his boyfriends a little more.

They collected their clothes from the floor. Eddie sat in the bed putting his pants on, but suddenly he stopped, staring at the void.

“Eddie? All right?”

Eddie sighed, biting his lips.

“I want to marry you” he whispered.

“What?”

“I want to marry you”

Billy laughed. “We already have the rings, Eddie, don’t you remember?”

Eddie shook his head. “Yes, but I want to marry you, for real, I want a wedding, I want a party, I want everyone to cheer for the husbands, I want to have a ceremony with you…”

“Oh, Eddie…” Billy knelt to hug him. “I love you too” he kissed his forehead.

Steve hugged them both. “I wish I could marry you for real too… I love you”.

Nancy scribbled some notes about what Eddie told her about the solo album and his relationship with Gareth, then took a sip from her cup and looked at Eddie smiling.

“I know we agreed on the topics of this interview with your staff, but what about some more personal questions? Our readers are very avid about some particulars, obviously, if you want. If you’re more comfortable, I can turn off the recorder”.

Eddie nodded. “I can talk with you about everything” he flirted again, batting a little his eyelashes, and Nancy turned off the recorder with a little shiver.

“Well, you came out some years ago already. What about your recent flirt with Billy Hargrove, the supermodel?”

“It is not a flirt” said Eddie smiling, without harm in his voice.

Nancy blushed a little. “And what about this summer’s pictures in Mykonos? You know, Billy presumed cheating with Steve Harrington, who was working with you on his series soundtrack? It’s all good with your boyfriend now, or…”

Eddie scoffed, leaning back on the sofa with a smile. “I don’t know anything about Billy cheating” he said, without adding more explanation. “We’re doing very well and we are doing good together, and I work very well with Steve, of course. But he’s not my boyfriend anymore” Eddie waited for Nancy's reaction, and he didn't have to wait.

“What? Are you breaking up…” she sighed, really surprised.

Eddie giggled and raised his left hand. “If you promise to keep the secret, he will be my husband soon. And… ” Eddie blinked at Nancy. The recorder was turned off, but she scribbled in her notebook.

“Oh, come on, put a price tag on me and sell me already!” Eddie protested, shaking under Billy’s hands.

“Eddie, for Christ’s sake, stay still, stop wiggle”.

Eddie grunted again, snorting and looking in the mirror.

“Please, I feel all compressed, you know I don’t like it!”

“Stay straight and stop complaining. It’s Steve's big night, so shut up” Billy tied strong Eddie’s tie trying not to strangle him.

“If it’s Steve’s big night, why are you dressing me like that?”

Billy scoffed and pouted. “Because I know elegance. Now stop fussing!”.

Obviously, Eddie didn’t stop. “Why can’t I simply dress like at Gareth's wedding? I was elegant”.

“Look, leather pants and a vest were right, but I said you have to be classic for the gala. Last word” Billy dusted Eddie’s shoulders. He looked at himself in the mirror and barely recognized himself, he had a dark gray three piece tailed tight, a silver tie, cufflinks and coordinated leather shoes and belt. He felt like a puppet and he was really uncomfortable. Billy wore a similar suit, a little clearer, that really matched his colors, and seemed like he was wearing his pajamas.

“Now the hair” said Billy, and Eddie screamed.

They finally came to the gala and came out to the limo and walked to the red carpet.

It was the presentation gala of the new series The man who invented electricity based on Steve’s books, and Corroded Coffin did the soundtrack.

Eddie took Billy’s hand during the walk, waving at fans and posing for the photos, smiling and feeling like a scarecrow, furthermore, Billy won about his hair and now he had a messy bun that squeezed all his head. But he was quite happy, Billy was really beautiful at his side and didn’t let him go, grabbing his waist from time to time. They passed the photocall at the entrance and they gave the reporters a sweet kiss to talk about, and after a little interview they could enter and wait for the show.

Steve was already there, as principal guest, they were excited for their boyfriend’s big night.

Gareth was already in with a really pregnant Martha, they went away after the first part of the gala; Eddie was in charge for a little talk on behalf of Corroded Coffin and that reminded him of the Gelato gala at the beginning of the summer. He was so full of love at that moment, two beautiful pairs of eyes were chained to his’, and he fiddled with the silver ring.

When all the talking was done and the real gala started, Eddie and Billy sneaked out of the party and got into an empty room, where they drank from the classic Billy’s flask and started kissing. Eddie finally got rid of his stupid jacket and rubbed on Billy, who was really turned on by the alcohol and the glamour.

The door opened again and they froze.

“You better close the door,” said Steve, closing the lock.

“We’re waiting for you, sweet pie” smiled Billy.

“It’s your day” echoed Eddie, opening his arms for Steve.

They kissed their star of the day. He started touching Billy’s crotch, but he moved his hands.

“Oh no, sweetie, it’s your day” he repeated, and opened Steve’s belt. Eddie knelt in front of him, and Billy followed.

Steve licked his lips and grabbed both heads under him.

Eddie called for Steve and Billy from the entrance. They were watching the sport in the living room. Eddie waved at them, and they really didn’t pay attention to him. He showed the magazine to them from the door and then threw it to them on the sofa, and went on the stairs, waiting.

“Eddie!!” cried Billy with a feral crazy voice.

He ran upstairs. Steve came out the living room running behind him, and Billy followed him immediately, squealing.

“Eddie!! Where is that harness? Eddie!! Come here!”

They threw themselves on him in their room, falling in their big big bed; the TV kept talking alone in the living room, reflecting on the silver frame of a photo on the fireplace; they were together, in Tulum, with a big green arc of plant and white flowers, all dressed with white shirts and linen trousers, barefoot and a silly bouquet for each.

That day, only a few weeks after, they had a little private ceremony, although symbolic, and they exchanged their silver rings with three old fashioned yellow gold wedding rings.

They were husbands now, each other and forever.

[piratejenna]

Prompt: fic you stayed up way later than you should have to read

Title: Victory Lies Before You

Author: @mobbothetrue

Fandom: Pokemon Black & White; Pokemon Legends Arceus

Rating: General

Word Count: 18193

Summary: Ingo has one week in the modern era to remember his brothers name, or else he’ll be sent back to Hisui… permanently. Except he can’t just ask him, because Arceus is a bit of a jerk and Ingo is now technically a ghost.

(Fortunately, there are forces in their corner.)

----

Alright, I could gush about this fic forever, but I'll try not to get too rambley.

So I fell down the Pokemon Arceus rabbit hole several months ago, followed by falling down the fanfic about Ingo rabbit hole shortly after, and while I have several fics in the "reunion fic" vein that I love, this is one of my favorites!

In particular, what I love about this fic is the way that it centers on the character relationships and dynamics. Like yes there's plot to the reunion, but the plot is there to facilitate the character stuff. There is angst in that character stuff, but it's a brand of it that I love, mostly because the starting point of the fic is that this is a reunion fic. So no matter how angesty and sad it gets, we know that we're working towards something.

I could gush about a ton of specifics, but this fic is paced wonderfully and I love the way that it unfolds, so I don't want to give a lot away. The only specific I'll drop here is that I love the way that the ghost thing works and is explored in the fic. It's a great concept, and the way that you learn about how it works is so great.

(Also my favorite scene, if I have to pick one, is the scene in the kitchen in the middle of the night. Everything about it is wonderful. It breaks my heart, makes me cry, and it's just so good. I got so swept up in the emotions that I legit kind of jumped when I realized with the characters what had happened and what that meant. Just such a great scene. 10/10. You should read the fic for that scene alone.)

The other major thing I love here is the way the characters are written. With a fic like this that features as its main cast characters who have incredibly minimal canon content, there tends to be a pretty wide range of interpretations in fic. And this fic right here is probably my favorite versions of Ingo, Emmet, and Elsea. You can absolutely tell how close they are, and in particular (speaking as a twin myself) I adore the way the author makes it clear that Ingo and Emmet are twins while still making them feel like distinct characters.

While this fic is obviously jumping off from stuff established in Legends Arceus, I would honestly recommend this fic to anyone who enjoys some angst, hurt/comfort, good family dynamics, and a really fun and clever ghost plot. It's an incredibly engaging story, moving smoothly between sweet and bittersweet. Chandelure (one of my favorite pokemon) is fantastic in it. And it has a follow-up fic. What more could you ask for?

As a last note, as the prompt says, I have stayed up way too late (on more than one occasion) to read this fic. Mostly because, despite it being an 18,000 word fic, I have repeatedly started it around or after midnight, thinking to myself "oh I'll just read some of it" and inevitably I read the entire thing. Because it's just so good I can't put it down.

[dream-beyond-the-fantasy]

Hello, this is @auradon-bore-a-don, sorry this is late but you are on my OC Creator Bingo Card!

1. What's your favorite thing about writing for your OCs?

2. Do you have a favorite OC?

3. What tropes do your OCs fit into?

4. What was the hardest scene to write for your OCs?

5. Which OC is the easiest to write for?

Hi! It's completely fine. We've all got things that push back some of the fun fandom stuff. Plus, there are so many OCs and creators to get to know.

I like exploring different worlds and ideas. And since Julie, Alyssa, and even Violet (my main HP OC, who I've barely started writing) have pieces of me in them, I like to explore different parts of myself or handle something that may have happened to me in a different way.

Probably Julie, but Alyssa is a close second.

My Cobra Kai OCs are the Main Characters/Protagonists in their fics, or at least share that role with Jimmy. Tropes that apply to Julie: love interest, tagalong kid, little sister heroine, teen mom, shrinking violet, annoying younger sibling/bratty half-pint (to Johnny and the Cobras, but I try to tone it down), precocious crush, and little miss badass. Tropes that apply to Alyssa: bratty teenage daughter (only some of the time), little miss snarker, middle child syndrome (played with), troubled child, and stoic woobie. Although, YMMV on whether the reader can see the characters as I do.

Honestly, some of the hardest things to write for my OCs are the tragic events in their lives. Sure, I haven't written some of them yet, but I know it will be difficult. Also, trying to write my first ever sex scene for Julie is proving to be fun but difficult.

Um, that might be Jenny. Jenny technically exists as a named and never seen character mentioned once on Cobra Kai. She is Jimmy's wife, but I basically created her character in Never Knew. She is a supportive wife and mom who isn't afraid to speak her mind. She is more mom than stepmom to Alyssa. Also, the sweet fluffy and romantic moments with Jimmy just write themselves. Also, Julie can be easy to write for when the prompt or story is filled with fluff.

[thegreatandpowerfulversy]

For the fanfiction writing asks - how about 3, 13, and/or 43?

3. Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

In general I'd say I share most fic ideas I have, at least with a few friends on discord who I know are going to be into the relevant fandom or topic at hand. Most recently it was the idea for No Blazing Kin, which came about like this:

Completely without prompting, of course, the main idea/twist just popped into my head and so I had to inflict it on someone immediately. And then I managed to bang out the entire short (by my standards) fic in just four days and inflicted it upon the world.

Plus of course there's the fact that I know that I mainly write very long fics, and I just don't have the time to do 50-200k on every idea I get... so I might as well share, in case someone else wants to pick them up and run with them instead.

13. Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

I'm almost always listening to music, whether I'm writing or not. I don't really have a specific "writing mood" playlist or anything, but I might have somewhat conditioned myself into wanting to / being able to write with certain music just by having it on enough while I'm working.

Lately my most common music while writing is a shuffle of the complete works of Brunuhville (bandcamp link), except that by going to the page just now to get the link, I realized there's a brand new album I've never heard of before... from 2018. Maybe not the complete works then, but I'm sure I'll be adding the "new" album soon as well. That's what I get for downloading mp3s ages ago and never checking for updates.

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

This is a tricky one. Obviously I'd really like to write the rest of all my unfinished works (and unstarted works later in planned series...) but beyond that I'm not sure.

I do really like complex time travel stuff with stable loops (I know, I know, terminal homestuckbrain) and so far that hasn't made it much into my published fics, just a little in d&d games I've run and this one MLP fic I've had technically "in progress" since 2015. There's a fair bit of time travel in Threading the Needle of Destiny, but only really as a side effect of someone trying to hop between timelines without fully knowing what she's doing.

And of course, there's always new forms of Extreme Lesbianism to write about. I've written girls kissing girls in normal, reasonable ways and situations. I've written plural girls kissing within the same brain and body. I've written horribly codependent identical twin girls kissing on a battlefield amidst hundreds of bodies of those they've killed. I've written a six-girl polycule and soon I'm going to add an AI girl to make it seven. But there's always more you can do. This, too, is yuri.

[schaladresdan]

I posted 809 times in 2022

8 posts created (1%)

801 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@story-kat

@crimson-chains

@ikimaru

@auronevardell

@miyakuli

I tagged 783 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#crimson chains - 178 posts

#art reblog - 157 posts

#original art - 131 posts

#oc - 128 posts

#yuri on ice - 126 posts

#yoi - 121 posts

#star crossed - 115 posts

#polaris - 105 posts

#yildun - 88 posts

#comic - 86 posts

Longest Tag: 88 characters

#he did not risk joining them because he woud've got his ass bitten by the divine puppies

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

New fic for Yuri’s birthday! Just a little bit of fluff. Story idea and art by Soulstoned (her Twitter https://twitter.com/Peridactyl5xg).

Title: Are You Kitten Me?

Rating: Teen (Yuri’s language)

Pairing: Otayuri

Tags: Video Calls, Kitten, Fluff

Summary: When Otabek found a kitten in the rain, he had no idea that his life would never be the same.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37456480

1 note - Posted March 1, 2022

#4

First Fic of the New Year!

My first new fic of the new year posted late last night (AO3 says technically it was 1/2 in my time zone, but it was still 1/1 in places, so it counts, right?). Written and posted barely in time for Asahi’s birthday, enjoy this one shot. 

Title: First Call

Rating: General Audiences

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Asanoya

Tags: Established Relationship, Long Distance Relationship, Haikyuu!! Time Skip, New Year’s Eve, Asahi’s Birthday

Summary: Nishinoya calls Asahi to wish him happy birthday.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36144685

1 note - Posted January 2, 2022

#3

It Started Out With a Kiss

Finally, a continuation of my Twisted Wonderland fic (but somehow it turned into a soulmate AU?). 

Pairings: Deuce Spade/Ace Trappola (aka Acey-Deucey or Hunting Season)

Rating: Teen

Tags: Soumate AU, Soulmate Marks, Boys Kissing, Misunderstandings, Happy Ending, Ace is impulsive

Summary: What happens when Ace impulsively kisses Deuce in a world where soulmate marks are revealed with a kiss?

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43053786

4 notes - Posted November 13, 2022

#2

It’s Just A Little Makeup 

My first fic for the Twisted Wonderland fandom (I didn’t need another fandom to write about, but I love these two and when I found out that the marks on their faces were makeup, I couldn’t help myself).

Pairings: Deuce Spade/Ace Trappola (aka Acey-Deucey or Hunting Season)

Rating: General Audiences

Tags: Canon Compliant, Makeup, Fluff

Summary: On his first night at Night Raven College, Deuce is worried about a lot of things. But one of his main concerns is the fact that he is expected to wear makeup, something that he has no experience with at all.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37086373

5 notes - Posted February 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

This year, for 18OI AU Week, I am writing a fic that will cover all of the daily prompts. It is a Soulmate Dream Sharing AU. Each chapter will have a dream that covers the daily prompt, the first one is fairy tale.

Rating: Mature (Day 4 is Omegaverse)

Pairing: Victuuri

Tags: Soulmates, Soulmate Dream Sharing, 18OI AU Week 2022, 18OI AU Week Day 1, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale

Summary: It was a chance meeting, the briefest of encounters. Neither Victor nor Yuuri can remember the moment at the World Championships when they first met. But they must have, because now they are dreaming of each other.

After soulmates meet for the first time in this world, they start to dream. They always dream of each other whenever they are apart (and asleep at the same time).

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39476496/chapters/98803950

11 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[rayneing-on-your-parade]

JonGerry week day 7: Promises

It's been a day, I was at my sister's house and we went apple picking and I made apple cider and apple butter. All of which are fantastic things. However, it meant I didn't have much time to write so I'm technically a little late but oh well.

Here's the last chapter of A Past Worth Fighting For, the prologue to my main fic How to Fall in Love Again. This prologue was written for @jongerryweek and followed their prompts for each day. Today I chose promises from the prompt list and decided to give Jon and Gerry the happy ending they deserve. For now.

A Past Worth Fighting For - Chapter 7 - Aspen_rayne - The Magnus Archives (Podcast) [Archive of Our Own]

If you're here you get to know the secret that I'm working on a jongerry art piece right now, keep an eye out for that eventually as well as two companion art pieces for A Past Worth Fighting For, one of the art Gerry gifted Jon and one of the Delano-Shelley-Sims family.

[feeling-grubby]

Lore dump prompting right back @ u

:( sorry for taking a while to answer this. Been really low on energy lately. I hope it's alright I am answering now. ):

(: I'll catch you up on some lore that I have implemented on the blog that has been overlooked for this lore dump. As I want to try and keep feature plans under wraps. :)

:( some lore that has gotten overlooked is from two short stories I written. At least I think it was overlooked. It's Just Business is a short story focused on Tikvah. In it talks about her first technical client. Giving you a little look into her life before being a mechanic. It is revealed that she built an olive blood a protistic arm out of obligation for following orders, and later when that same olive died, she was able to salvage the arm and buy her freedom. She wasn't ever a slave. she was a servant for a high blood working off her debt. There is more to it than that, but that something more is part of future plans. Just don't tell Tikvah I told you. She will kill you if you know of her past. :) (: speaking of Tikvah I may be introducing some side character trolls to the blog soon connected to her and possibly making another main character troll for the blog connected to her mysterious past. Again, there is more that, but I really can't say right now. :) (: the second short story is called Metal, Flesh, and Blood. The main point of it is to show that Hollie is taking more risk in her line of work. Managing to get hurt more than ever. I can't tell you much of the event that happened to her to get her so injured, but I will say it is worked related but not in the way you would assume. It also shows how Tikvah subversions to her usual character traits. in the previous short story, you see how she works using logic and often ignores her emotions. She is analytical and puts emotions dead last. That doesn't mean she can't have emotions or can't care about people, but it is ultimately hidden in a weird way. The two have known each other for sweeps as Tikvah refuses to cash in on the favor Hollie owns her, and I really wanted to try to show how the two characters are individually, but also what their dynamic is. There is also way more I can talk about there, but I do want to try and keep things open ended. :)

:( in an ask you can see that Hollie is still distraught about the injuries she had received, and it is still haunting her. ):

(: and in this post this kind of reveals an answer to an ask that I couldn't really give with it being answered by Tikvah. As it would have been out of character to answer it directly. ): (: outside of those two characters some really light and funny lore that kind of has been said on the blog is that my local non-binary troll who is a possum reincarnated [: not literally :] has so far only befriended people finding them refilling through their trash. Literally has happened three times now. and you know what that's the only way other people's trolls can befriend her now. is finding them in their garbage. :)

(: thank you for the ask. I really appreciated this. :)

[thomine]

AUTHOR'S COMMENTARY; reaching out

Basic Stats

pairing: tighnari x reader

time: a month?

drafts: 2??

total word count: around 4k

deviation: 4.5/5

*deviation from original is on a scale of 1-5, 1 being there was no change and 5 being it was completely changed.

⠀

Overall

it’s hard to define where this fic came from. i tore the fic’s format from a wip, grafting it to the roots of this fic.

the format came from an abandoned social media au (smau). i wasn’t sure of the pairing and even more uncertain about the central message, so i chucked my progress aside (consisting of 6 chapters, 2 written parts).

one of the written parts was tighnari and reader calling each other at night. i quite like the vibe it gave. tighnari was grumpy from a rough day at work but calls anyways because reader frantically messaged him in the afternoon after an Event.

it was sweet, sentimental, and what made me think maybe tighnari should be the main lead instead whatever pair i had in mind, which caused me to abandoned it (lol). it was tough letting this written part go.

fast forward, i came home late from a farewell party. i had this all-consuming melancholy knowing that my friends were going to be different the next time i see them. they're going to meet with new people, have new experiences, and so will i. it's all exciting but it's separate.

instead of sleeping, i did what any normal person would do. i let my thoughts wander, then challenged it by thinking of a different perspective.

this conversation with myself inspired me to capture the same sentiments in a story. reader who held my perspective talking to someone who held the other. tighnari was the best fit for the story.

picking tighnari reminded me of my abandoned wip, and merging its format with the idea resulted in REACHING OUT.

because of this (which isn’t strange in my process of writing as i love to mix-and-march), it’s quite hard to quantify the statistics. where is the original? was it the night i came home from the party, or was it the abandoned wip? it wasn’t just the format that the new fic inherited: it also inherited the flow. from where can we separate the two? perhaps, like the process of grafting, it isn’t supposed to be separated.

so i’ll be seeing it as one wip instead of a merger of 2.

if that’s the case, then even though i wrote the fic overnight, the fic was technically a month-long work.

i wasn’t keeping track for drafts, but i only restarted the opening twice. the rest were paragraphs separated while writing, which i don’t quite consider a draft (more like killed darlings).

if i were to compare the final with the draft i had the night after the party, the deviation would probably be a 2. i tweaked tighnari’s argument the next morning since it didn’t reach a depth i wanted, and i added tantalus’s tale to further emphasis his point on looking at the future even though the suffering you’re going through is horrible.

if i were to compare it with the written part of the smau, its deviation would be a 4. although the format and flow is the same, many things are different.

first, tighnari was meant to be a prompter for reader to think about the past. in REACHING OUT, tighnari is meant to prompt reader about their relationship. although reader sought tighnari's advice for both versions, reader's intentions are different. in the older version, reader excludes tighnari from the situation, seeing his advice as a third party and neutral comment. in REACHING OUT, reader is reaching out (pun intended) to tighnari to know his honest thoughts.

overall, i like this story! i hope you enjoyed it too. i'm not too sure how i'd talk about the specifics (like, do i show the google doc and give in-line commentary? but my process is messy so i would need to create a whole new doc which is troublesome...) but i was thinking perhaps it is best to leave the fic as it is so that readers can take away things without my commentary on each line affecting how they view the fic, hehe.

thank you for reading!

[nonsensicalsoliloquy]

Hungry for The Kill

[kylux] [explicit] [47,360] [5 chp.] [modern] [meet-ugly] [shapeshifters] [abduction] [ritual sacrifices] [unknown identity] [hurt/comfort] [happy ending] [ @huxloween ]

As was clearly his lot, Kylo’s day went from over the moon to piece of utter horseshit in a matter of progressively depressing hours. His ginger hadn’t shown up to the library - an anomaly in itself - on the very day Kylo had finally worked up the nerve to talk to him; his subsequent wild run in the woods had yielded little relief for his dismal mood, and on top of that he’d somehow gotten tricked into a trap of a trap through sheer disbelief of a hunter’s stupidity. 

And now. Now he was locked in a cage in some shady room, stuck in his wolf form, wounded and cramped and not at all pleased. But worse still, it appeared as though Kylo was not the only restless animal trapped there, anxious of an uncertain fate no doubt waiting for them all.

[bebepac]

A Piece of Heaven on Earth Part 6

This is my second submission for the last @wackydrabbles​​​​ prompt # 145 That was really really good which will appear in bold.

My OG Riley had to be a part of this.  She had to be. She started the wacky drabbles journey with me, it’s only fitting, my final submission is with her.  

This also is a submission for @choicesmonthlychallenge​​​​ for day 3 for paranormal.

The series:  A Piece of Heaven on Earth

The Book:  TRR

The Pairings: Liam x Riley /  Riley x Nico 

Word Count: 4599

Warnings and Ratings:  Profanity, Sexual Situation, 18+

Song Inspiration: When Can I see You by Babyface

Song Inspiration: Come Away With Me by Norah Jones

Song Inspiration Just a Dream by Nelly  

Summary: Riley moves in with Taylor until her apartment is vacated by Liam. Nico and Riley begin an relationship together. Team Liam launches an offensive to help bring Liam and Riley back together.

Original Post: 05/06/22 at 11:24PM  EST

A/N:  This is very special to me.  So please be kind.  I’m writing this as a tribute story to my Riley FC, the late Cheslie Kryst, in a way to deal with my grief which has almost been consuming my life.  I started following her in 2019 when I was watching the Miss USA pageant.  I rooted for her immediately.  Not only was she from my home state, but she was just this bright twinkling light on stage, she was a minority, like me. So when I came to the fandom in January 2020 and started writing stories for TRR I picked her as my Riley FC because she embodied what I wanted my “Riley” character to be.  Even in her untimely passing, I am still finding out more about her life and I have written her pretty accurately, even down to having depression.  So I will say it again.  If you need help please reach out.

A/N:  Last weekend I did a balloon release in honor of Cheslie’s birthday on the 28th of April.  It was very cathartic.  I think it helped.  I still really miss her a lot, and hope she saw  me in that moment, how much I did care for her as person.

A/N2:  This is the conclusion of A Piece of Heaven on Earth, I still plan  to do an epilogue.  I hope you have enjoyed what I have created so far in Cheslie’s honor.  

"Surprise!!!!"

"Riley oh my God! You’re here!"

“Guess who’s out of the hospital to crash with their baby sister!?!?!”

“I would have picked you up! Why didn’t you call me?”

"I didn’t want to be a burden, all you guys have had a hard time the last five months. It's okay! Besides, Nico was nice enough to call out of work, yet come to pick me up, from where we both work, and he’s doing all the manual labor of carrying all my stuff for me. Let him work."

“I heard that!”  Nico said with a smile as he walked up and  stood next to her, holding several boxes and a bag slung over his shoulder.

"I didn't mind helping you all out. Anything for my boo."  

"Alrighty." 

Taylor almost wanted to throw up in her mouth a bit. Riley was not "his boo." He only won this round by a technicality.

Chance shared Taylor's sentiment and  started growling at Nico from the door, but as soon as Nico passed the threshold into the house, Chance immediately started barking at Nico.

"Chance! Be nice!"

Riley said sternly to Chance causing him to whimper for a few moments. But the low guttural growl remained as he watched Nico. Chance did not like Nico, not one bit.  Chance’s main man was Liam.

Taylor smiled, it was like Chance was telling Nico, "Man Whore! Stay away from my Mama! She's already taken!!!!"

"You sure you don't mind putting me up for the next two weeks Tay?"

“Of course not! You’ll just have to sleep in the baby’s crib though.”

“What?”

“I’m kidding. KIDDING.  Actually, we have a nice patch of floor cleared next to Chance’s dog bed you can sleep on.”

“With a sister like you, who needs enemies?”  

“Max help Nico please!”    

She pulled Riley inside by her arm.

“No Riley, we got  you.”  Taylor teared up hugging her.

"Tay, I'm fine."

"Riley you just don't understand what these months have been like without you. I felt like half of me was gone. The best half, and the not punctual side."

Taylor laughed through the tears.

"Sure you missed me? Don't make me fall asleep for another three months."

"Too soon Riley. That joke was not even funny."  

Taylor shoved Riley but then pulled her in a hug.  

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Be punctual maybe?”

“Exactly.”    

At dinner Taylor intently watched Riley with Nico.  They seemed close, friendly even, but something about them just seemed off.  There was something about the way Riley responded to him touching her.  Nico was teetering on clingy, which was definitely a turnoff.  Yes, it was clear he was completely smitten with her sister, but Riley didn’t seem to be completely relaxed with him, like she couldn’t be her true self with him.  Riley didn’t seem that into him honestly.

That evening Taylor decided to talk to Riley for a bit, and offer her some free sisterly advice as she  was settling down to sleep in the guest room.

“Hey Rye, are you comfortable?”

“Better than sleeping in a crib or sharing Chance’s dog bed with him.  I’m fine, thank you for letting him sleep in here with me.  He hasn’t left my side since I’ve been here. Chance was always affectionate, but this is next level for him.”

She looked down at him, smiling as his head rested on her stomach.  He licked her hand again, nuzzling it, causing Riley to rub his snout.  Chance’s tail wagged happily.

"I love you too boy." She gently scratched his forehead. Chance's tail wagged so much his whole body shook.

“He missed you Riley, so much. We all thought we were going to lose you. So what’s really up with you and Nico?”  

“He’s nice.  He makes me laugh, and you know, he’s not perfect, but  I can tell he really cares about me, and I don’t want to be alone anymore.  Life’s so short,  and it made me realize I work so much and don’t have anyone to spend my time off with other than Chance and you guys.  Nico is not a bad guy.”  

“He's not a bad guy Riley, but he’s not the right guy Riley.  He’s not.  You just said it yourself.  Life’s too short! Don’t you feel it?  You could be connected to someone, the way you always hoped, that you were. Like something’s missing. Someone is missing?”

“Everyone doesn’t get that feeling Taylor, like the world stops when they meet someone.  I’ve never felt that before.”

“You had it, you just don’t remember.  Try to remember Riley. Nico’s nice, but he’s not the one you’re supposed to be with.”  

That night when Riley was sleeping Chance woke up abruptly when she came into the room.  He growled softly; Riley stirred but did not wake.

“I am not going to hurt her, you little flea bag, I just need to give her a message.” 

Olivia leaned closer to Riley’s ear.  

"You know, you had one job Riley. Now I'm back to fix this. It's because I love him; I always will and he deserves to be happy is the only reason that I'm doing this for you. Otherwise, I'd let you stay with the overly clingy Man Whore. You're welcome.  Go to Apple Valley Park tomorrow morning for a run, and take your miserable mutt with you.”

She looked at Chance.

 "And yes, I am referring to you. You know what to do, Chance.”  Olivia bonked him on his nose.

“That’s one down, one to go.”  

Liam and Olivia

This was harder than she thought. She watched Liam sleeping; she sat on the edge of the bed.

"Hi my love.  You turned out exactly how I feared you would, from my passing.  And yes it means a lot to me that you held me in your heart for all this time as your wife, and I love you for it, but you have to let me go, it's time, dear heart, it's time. I was your first love.  And being loved by you Liam Rys, is a treasure that  I will cherish for all eternity. But, Riley Brooks is your last love. So I'm going to tell you exactly what you need to do to help her remember you. You will know what to do when it's time to reclaim her heart. But for now in the morning, go get breakfast at that place we used to love to go for bagels and muffins, get a coffee and go to Apple Valley Park, find a bench where the sun shines bright on you and warms you up, and just enjoy the morning. Chance will find you.  And soon, she will find her way back to you too. Be patient, and when the time is right, seal it with a kiss."

Olivia turned to walk away.

"Liv?"

She slowly turned around to face him, giving him a small wave.

"You were supposed to be sleeping Liam."

Liam's eyes were filled with tears. "I miss you so much Liv, and I don't deserve you doing this for me."

"I miss you, and yes you do. Liam, what happened to me wasn't your fault.  Stop blaming yourself; there is nothing that you could have done differently to save me. Riley was able to be saved, and you did it. You did a very selfless thing for her.  Be patient with her, Liam. Take things slow. Deep down, she feels the same about you, that you feel about her. And I know you tried not to, but it couldn't be helped, you fell in love with her. And it's okay."

"Thank you Liv."

"You're welcome."

The next morning Riley woke up  to Chance licking her face.

“I’m up. I’m up!  You know I’m technically still on vacation for a bit right?  We get to sleep in a little you know? But you don’t care.  You know what, how about after breakfast we go to the park.  Work off the bacon and pancakes we’re both about to eat. What do you say boy? Wanna go running?"

Chance happily barked in response.  

Riley was ambitious in her workout gear,

thinking she’d go running through the park. The run turned quickly into a jog, which just as quickly turned into a fast paced walk.

“Mama has to get her endurance back up,  Whew.  I don’t remember walking being this much of a workout. It’s okay though, we’re still getting some exercise in.”  

Chance was preoccupied and kept sniffing the ground as they walked.  

“Let’s go this way, Chance,” she gave him a gentle tug on his collar, but he instead started in the opposite direction.  

“Okay maybe not. We’ll go where you want to today. No it’s cool, all that obedience training we did together that I paid for, for you to have me follow the leader? It’s cool bro.”  

After a few minutes, Chance lunged, breaking the leash from his collar and took off running.  

“Dammit Chance, we already established Mama can’t run like she used to!!!!”

Chance had quite the lead, Riley tried to follow whilst screaming every command she could at him to get him to stop,  but he wasn’t listening to her at all. Chance had a singular purpose in mind, find Liam and he had finally picked up his scent.

Liam closed his eyes and smiled when he heard a dog's  barking  approaching him as he sat on the park bench.  Sitting his coffee down and half eaten bagel, he stood and turned, seeing Chance  bounding over the hill, happily barking heading straight towards him; Chance had found him.

He knelt down to pet Chance who was clearly happy to see him.  

“Good boy, you found me!  Riley said you were the bestest boy."

Liam looked around in confusion.  Riley was nowhere in sight.

"Where is your mom?"  

Finally Riley emerged over the hill, screaming Chance's name.

“I promise you he won't bite!!!”  She screamed from a distance out of breath. She leaned over her right hand on her hip; She looked like she was almost dry heaving.

Liam tapped his pant leg.  “Come on, boy, let's take you back to your mom.  She’s not coming down that hill. She looks tired."

Liam laughed softly at Riley’s sight.

Riley had sat down on the hill waiting for Chance to be brought back.

“Lose someone?”  Liam asked as he sat next to Riley on the hill.

“You’d think a dog with short legs couldn’t run that damn fast.  Or I'm just that damn slow lately."

She glanced up to his face.

“It’s you.  Liam right?”  

“Yeah. Hi Riley."

"How are you?"

"I'm doing great. No I'm exaggerating, I'm doing good."

Riley laughed at his joke.

“Chance went all Hulk and snapped his collar.”  

“Let me see, maybe I can fix it.”  

As she handed Liam the collar, his fingers  grazed her wrist, and what felt like an electric shock passed between the two of them.

Riley quickly drew her hand back from his, her mind drifting, she heard her own voice at the top of her lungs singing obnoxiously like it was a faint memory.  

“One thousand bottles of tahitian treat on the wall, a thousand bottles of tahitian treat……”  

"Isn't there a light you should be walking into, or considering your less than sunny disposition, infamous lake of fire?”

She looked at Liam. It sounded like his voice in the memory?

“I fixed it.  Are you alright?  You look pale.”  

"I'm fine." But Riley was continuing to stare at him oddly.

“If it’s all the same to you, I’m going to get you some water, okay?”

"That really sounds good. Thank you."

Liam came back a few minutes later with bottled water for Riley.

“It’s no Tahitian Treat, but it will get the job done.”  

“That’s my favorite drink. How did we know each other Liam?”  

He immediately remembered how Riley's Mother reacted to the news. He couldn't have that happen again or Riley to be afraid of him.

He heard Olivia's voice tell him to be patient.

“Our paths just randomly crossed.  Do you mind if I walk you back home just to make sure you make it there safely?”  

“I’m fine with that.”  

As they walked  he noticed Riley was walking slower.

"Are your feet hurting?"

"If I said yes, would you carry me?"

"Yes, I would." Liam responded without missing a beat.

Riley surprisingly looked at him; she was blushing.

"Good to know chivalry isn't dead."

"If you've ever been wondering of its existence Riley, that means you're with the wrong man."

Riley turned to face him.

“You’re with the wrong man.”  Liam said again.

Riley's eyes widened, and her breath hitched as she stared at him.

Wake up Riley and see me he thought to himself, I know you can feel it too. For a brief moment he saw a spark in her eyes, but it faded as quickly as it appeared.  She broke his intense gaze, motioning to the house.

"Well this is us.  Thank you Liam for the water,  and walking my dog for me."

"I didn’t mind at all. He's a great dog."  He handed Chance's leash back to Riley.

Taylor opened the door and when she saw Liam standing on the porch with Riley, she abruptly slammed it back.

“Well that WAS my sister.”  

Riley went to the door turning the doorknob and while Riley's back was turned Liam smiled. What was Taylor up to?

"Okay….and she locked the door too. You want to sit on the porch with me until I'm allowed back in? It’s a nice morning, and we have a kick ass porch swing here."

And that’s what Taylor was up to.

“Sure.”  

Liam sat on the porch swing with Riley, and instead  of Chance coming to her, he sat at Liam's feet playing with one of his dog toys.

"Chance seems really taken by you. Did we hang out with you a lot?"

"No. I only met Chance once. Not trying to boast, but dogs are excellent judges of people’s characters.  So it should tell you a lot, if a dog doesn’t like someone you’re around."

“That’s right!” Taylor screamed from inside the house.

“And we have an audience.  Taylor, are you going to let me in or what?”  

There was silence.

“And she’s ignoring me.”

There was more silence until the window opened.

"Psssst.  Hey Liam….Liam…. come  over here."

Liam walked over to the window  and Taylor handed him a small tray.

The tray included two slushy tahitian treats, which Liam took.  Taylor winked at him, closing the window.

  It felt like everyone knew they belonged together but Riley at this point.

Riley tossed the water aside, and when Liam sat next to her with the tray she grabbed one of the bottles off the tray.  

The conversation started flowing between her and Liam.  She felt so comfortable with him and it felt so natural, she couldn’t help it.  

Riley released one of the biggest burps she’d ever released in front of a guy.  

“I’m so sorry,” she commented laughing.

“No need to be sorry, that’s damn impressive.  You could give some of the frat boys I knew in college a run for their money. That was really really good."

Liam laughed and burped at the same time.  

“That didn’t feel good!”  Both continued laughing.

Finally after a while Riley faintly heard the door unlock.  Liam heard it too. He hoped Riley wouldn't just end the conversation and run inside,

 instead they talked for two more hours and got delivered another tray of snacks.

Finally though Liam did not want to be the one to leave,  he had to go sign the paperwork for his new apartment.  He thought Riley looked disappointed that he had to go.

One Week Later

"Taylor, you know I love you, and I say this from a place of love right? But you are freakishly obsessed with your sister’s love life, get away from the window!"

"Well I wouldn't be so obsessed if she wasn't with the wrong guy Max. She was supposed to meet Liam the night of her accident. And she still met him."

"She's a grown woman Taylor, hell!!  She's your older sister."

"By only six minutes I might add."

"Still older. Let her make her own decisions."

"This is not the right one." Taylor rubbed her stomach.

At that moment Riley walked in the door  pulling Nico by the hand.

Chance immediately started his low guttural growl as they went up stairs.

Riley locked the door behind Nico, and he pushed her against the door kissing her.

"Are you sure you want me to stay with you tonight?"

Riley bit her lip and nodded, she pulled off her top revealing bare skin to him.  Riley was everything he imagined.  Nico yanked off his shirt revealing his finely chiseled physique, Riley raised her eyebrow at him.  Both liked what the other had revealed.  Nico took that as a green light and grabbed her, pulling her close to him. As Nico picked her up, she wrapped her legs around him, and he loudly groaned, tightening his grip around her.  They tumbled onto the bed together.

  He cupped her breasts in his hands gently caressing her.  

Nico whispered. "I've been wanting this for so long, Riley.  I’ve imagined this moment so many times.”

Instead of responding back, she kissed him again.  She couldn’t say the same. She had never had a fantasy about Nico.  Not even one.  Yes he was handsome, but he never invaded her thoughts in that way.  She didn't mean for her mind to wander as his kisses had drifted to her neck, but it did. To many things, the way Chance always barked and growled in Nico's presence, talking with Liam on the porch, how he listened so intently to her,

and at the park… then something different but she felt like she was seeing it for the first time but it was her with Liam. But she didn’t remember this happening.

"Let's watch the sunset together, it looks like it's going to be a beautiful one."

They were together in a beautiful garden in the evening.

Side by side they stood, watching the sunset together enjoying a peaceful silence.

“Are your feet hurting?”  

“What would you do if they were, if I was your girlfriend?”  

“I’d carry you Riley.”

Riley smiled at Liam.  She could tell from her body language, she liked him so much, the most she had ever liked someone.

“What do you think it would have been like, if we would have met that night?”  

“I wouldn’t have been able to take my eyes off you, in that dress.  Just like now.”

“I wish it would have happened like that.”  

Riley’s heart was racing, but it wasn’t for  Nico.

"Nico…"

"I want you." Nico grunted his hands sliding up her skirt.

"No, Nico, I can't do this with you, I'm sorry."

Nico quickly pulled his hands away from her, but he could not hide the disappointment in his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"This doesn't feel right."

"What can I do to make this right for you?"

"This isn’t about you Nico, it’s about me."

"I love you Riley, I always have."

"I love you too Nico, as a friend, and I don’t feel the way I should about you to be with you this way. I’ve been trying because I know how much you care."

"It’s because of him isn’t it? He told Hana he was your boyfriend."

“He what?”

“But you don’t even remember him, Riley. You let ME kiss you that day, not him!!!!!  That should tell you something. How good was he to you if you can’t even remember him?”

“And Chance doesn’t like you.”  

“Well Chance is an asshole.”  

Riley laughed in shock, pushing Nico away from her.  

“Dogs are great judges of character, and they know other dogs when they see them.  You know that staying the night was clearly not a good idea, maybe you should leave Nico.”

“You’re right, maybe I should.”  

Nico quickly got dressed and left, and that’s how Riley really knew he wasn’t the right one for her.  She really didn’t care.  Her mind drifted back to what appeared like a memory that she had no recollection of in the moment.  Was it real?  Something she imagined about him?  Liam seemed so genuine.  

The next day Riley decided to go to her apartment to see him.  She knocked on the door,  there was no answer.  She looked to the fire hydrant, and found her spare key and walked inside.  There was no sign of Liam anymore, as he had moved out.   Her other key to the apartment was lying on the counter.  She had no way of getting in touch with him.

Liam’s was settling into his new apartment was ironically two blocks away from Riley’s, and it was still close enough for him to walk to the Bodega for tahitian treats, which was what he was doing that day when the idea struck him.  He knew what he had to do.  Liv said he’d know what he needed to do when  the time was right.  

He didn’t know exactly when Riley would be moving back in.  So time was of the essence.  He had a plan.

Two days later,  Taylor took Riley home.  

“Dad had the place cleaned, but Liam was really neat, so it really didn’t need it.  Does it feel good to be home?”  

“It does.”  

“I loved having you at the house, but I know you need your space Rye.”

“Thank you for having me.”

Taylor gave her one last hug before she left.

Riley exhaled flopping onto her couch.  

“It’s finally just us again boy.”  she whispered to Chance scratching his head.  Chance curled up on the couch next to her.  

It was a beautiful day,  too beautiful to be sitting indoors. She decided to get up and go up to the rooftop of her apartment.  

Riley pushed the door open and was met by a blinding light.  When her eyes finally adjusted,  she was standing on the rooftop of her apartment that had been converted into a garden oasis. It was her garden, and it was absolutely breathtaking.  Who did this for her?

“And who the hell is going to take care of all of this? I’ve legit got a brown thumb.  Mother Nature or God,  I’m gonna need you to handle this!!!!”  Riley chuckled to herself, starting to wander through the beautiful and sweet smelling flowers.

There was a seat in the middle and on it sat a white rose.  For her?  It better be, it was her damn garden on top of her damn apartment.  She picked up the freshly clipped de-thorned rose, lifting it up to her nose, to breathe it in.  She closed her eyes as she sighed contentedly.  It was the most fragrant rose and its lovely scent filled her nostrils. Riley sat relaxing, basking in the sweet air and the warm sunshine.

Then she heard a voice… it was his voice, gentle, and so smooth it felt like he was part of the breeze.

“I wrote you a poem.  It’s the first one I've ever written, because I felt so inspired by your effortless beauty…

Soft, Sweet….

Sensually Smiling

Sighs… Softly…..

Shifting Stares….

Sharing Secrets…..

Shhhh……

Shuffling Silently

My Sweet Star.”

Footsteps approached her, and then a hand caressed her shoulder.

She knew it was him,  her soulmate , the one she had always been waiting for.  Riley immediately turned to gaze into his face, the man that had just made her grin like a giddy school girl in love.  

She turned to see… Liam standing there.  

“Nice poem, but when have you known me to be silent?”  

Liam burst out laughing.  

"I'm noisy, belch loudly,  and teeter on being obnoxious at times."

"You are, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

“Liam, tell me the truth.  I see how you look at me.  I can feel love leaping off of you in my direction, and I have these memories of you I don’t know how to explain, that I can't remember happened, but I feel like they are real.”

“They are real.”  

“So, we’ve been in a garden before?”

“Yes, we have."

"Why don't I remember it? It feels like I am watching a memory, not like I lived it."

"But you did live it Riley, and we meant something special to each other. "

"How did you get back into my apartment? You left your key."

"The spare key you keep under the fire hydrant."

"I had to trust you to tell you about that."

"You did Riley. You trusted me."

Riley stepped closer to him.

"Why can't I remember you?"

"Because your heart stopped. But mine didn't and I remember every moment you and I spent together fighting to save your life.

 The night of your accident Riley I was the blind date you were supposed to meet.  We were fated to meet, and we still did. While you were in a coma, your spirit came to me wearing a blue dress and heels.”  

Riley took another step towards him.  

“You were everything you just said about yourself, that you just highlighted as faults, but they are not and still somehow I fell love with you. You’re my Casper the cranky ghost.”  

Riley laughed out loud.

“That’s by far the craziest nickname anyone has ever given me.”

“Guess it’s fitting then because I’m crazy about you.”  

He heard Olivia’s voice say “Now Liam!”  

Riley’s breath hitched when Liam pulled her close. She closed her eyes as he closed in for their first kiss. 

 It was electrifying.  After a few moments Riley abruptly pulled away bursting into tears.

“Liam!!!!”  

She touched his face and then pressed her hand to his chest.

He rested his hand on hers.

“Finally I can really feel your warmth.  I remember everything.  Thank you and I’m sorry, I didn’t remember sooner.”  

“It’s okay.  We’re here now.”

Liam kissed Riley again.  

“Would you like to stay for dinner Liam?”  

“I’d love to.”  

“I haven’t been to the grocery store yet, so are you okay with pizza?”  

Finally Liam’s dream of a pizza night with Riley was coming true.

They went back down to Riley’s apartment where she ordered a large pizza.  

“I did leave you a few things though.”  

Liam opened the pantry door,  there sat a case of tahitian treats.  

“Um, two of those need to be in the freezer like right now.”  

“You got it.”  

She watched the two of them start to find their way together, as a new couple.  Both a little giddy after all they had been through and finally reuniting with each other once again.  Liam paid for the pizza when it arrived while Riley set the table and pulled out the drinks.  They genuinely looked so happy together.  It did hurt her a little watching how comfortable Liam was with her.  Riley was the remaining chapters in the book of his life. Riley would be the one that Liam would have children with and grow old with.  

 “Well Flea bag, my work here is done.  And for the record,  she’s not the only one you’ll do tricks for.  So Let’s Dance Chance!”  

Liam caught Olivia out of the corner of his eye for a split second before she disappeared, dancing with Chance, then only he remained dancing in a circle on his hind paws.  

He smiled back at Riley.  

“Got any plans for next week?”  

“I mean nothing firm set up yet why?”

“Let’s go to New York.”  

The trip neither thought they would be able to take together.

“I'd thought you’d never ask. "

Click here for the Epilogue of this Tribute Series!

[the---hermit]

It by Stephen King

This is going to be a very long post. Let's start with some more technical infos, I have read this for the studyblr w/ knives summer reading challenge 2.0, initially I wanted to use this only for the non linear time line prompt, but considering that this book is over 1200 pages, and it's the book that has been on my tbr for the longest time I decided it could work for the tbr prompt aswell. As I was mentioning this book has been on my nightstand for so many years, it's been on my tbr for almost 10 years now, and I have one failed attempt at reading this in the past. I was thinking to read another book for the tbr prompt, and I might even read it still for the challenge, but for now this brick of a book will count for two prompts. With this being said let's talk about the book itself. There's a lot to say, this will be spoiler free, and I'll add my spoiler-y thoughts under the cut not to ruin the book for anyone.

I'll start with a bit on the prompt, although there's so muc hgoing on it's quite impossible to give out an accurate idea. We are following our characters in two different timelines that intertwine amazingly (for real I was afraid things will get confusing but it was so well done, it made the plot even more intriguing). The first timeline is set in 1958 when the seven main characters were children and first dealing with It. The second time line is set in 1985, where our characters are adults and will have to come back to their roots in Derry. Everything starts in the 50s with the very well known scene of Georgie, Bill's younger brother, who is the first to be murdered by It, aka Pennywise the clown. After this iconic scene we start meeing the characters in their adult life as well as in their late childhood, learning who they are, and how they got to meet each other and had to face this terrifying nightmare that plagues the city of Derry. I won't say more about the plot, I feel like this gives a decent outline of the very base of the story, although as I said it's so layered it's impossible to explain.

Let's start with the things I liked. I definitely preferred the scenes set in the 50s, but mostly because of the kid's dynamics. In general as I said the time jumps are very well made, are never confusing, and in my opinion they serve the novel very well. What I loved is the friendship these characters have. I grew attached to all characters, who have all their very different personalities and history. The relationship they have is so pure it warmed my heart in so many occasions. You get to see their friendship bloom in such a natural pure way it's truly one of the best parts of this book. Overall friendship is a huge theme of the book and it was so well made. The characters are very well shown, I feel like you really get to know them, as if they were real people, and it's not something you get to experience with all books. Surely the lenght of the novel helps with this. The base idea of the novel is very cool, and as you might know if you have read other book reviews I have written I particularly like when horror stories deal with childhood fears. That is something particularly fascinating, and it never fails to work. This novel is fully based on that and looks at the fears of a kid in a very broad way, so there's a lot to talk about. I cannot say I am fully satisfied with the end of the novel. There's one particular thing I will discuss in the undercut because it needs spoilers, which was so unnecessary and irritating. But aside from that I feel like there's a couple of things in the end that felt confused, or maybe just like they didn't fully fit the rest of the novel. I don't even know how to explain it because it's complicated, but as I said I wasn't fully satisfied with the ending. Still there's a big potential I will reread it in the future. And on this a little side note, if I'll reread it I will surely pick up an English copy. I read my dad's vintage copy he bought in the 90s and the Italian translation was so poorly done. I really hope the newer editions have been edited because it was painful to read a times. Another thing I didn't like, and of which I have already complained in one of my daily posts is that especially in the first part of the novel there's some lines that feel straight out of the men writing women reddit. As I said in that other post I do not feel a particular need to know about the boobs of a characters while I am reading about them feeling anxious or scared. There are of course scenes in which a more sensual description, or simply a description of the body is needed. But there certainly were parts in which it was not necessary, and felt so random. It's not the first time I have noticed it in King's writing, and I cannot wrap my head around it. I must say there's parts of the novel in which a similar type of description is done on male characters, but just as in the first case it feels unnecessary and sometimes it could even be a bit uncomfortable.

Overall this book is such a huge story with so many layers I think it's impossible to have a full review that is satisfying, I am not even sure that discussing directly the book could be enough to do it justice, because there's so much. It's such a journey. I do recommend giving it a try if you feel interested in it, and I speak as someone who despised long books. This was incredibly fast-paced, and once you are into the story it feels like a drug. It was described to me as one of those books you want to finish to know what happens, but at the same time you don't want it to be over. And it's a great description, you need to know what happened and why, but you also don't want to let go of these characters. I think I'll need a good while to get over this novel. Also I need to mention that if you want to read this book you should check the trigger warning lists if you know there's stuff that might bothers you. I'm pretty sure the tw list for this novel is infinite because of everything that happens, from bullying, to homophobia, racism, very abusive and toxic parenting, just to name a few. It's also very graphic in describing violence so keep that in mind and check the tw lists online out just in case. As for the scary factor I personally didn't feel scared at all, there was one scene that did creep me out, but I am finding out it's more difficult than expected to scare. Still some people I know say this is the scariest book they read, fear is a very personal thing.

(spoilery thoughts under the cut)

This is my biggest complaint needs spoilers because there's one scene that felt so out of place an unnecessary I don't think I'll ever stop being annoyed at it. I am talking about the very end where in the 50s they kids are trying to get out of It's nest and apparently because their friendship is wearing out already they all need to have sex with Beverly. It was so unnecessary, and honestly kind of uncomfortable to read because it made no sense. There was no need to have that, their friendship worked amazingly, and this scene was just trown in there with no reason. Especially because as adults this whole bullshit thing does not happen, and they are not all present, but in that case their friendship still works perfectly. So really there's no back up for that scene, it just ruined the whole feeling for me. And the thing is that it has no consequences to the story, it's so umprompted and then it's just there with no real reason to exist. Can you tell I am pissed at it? The additional thing that annoys me is how yet again friendship between girls and boys have to be sexualised in some way, apparely it's impossible to have a friendship that stays a friendship if you are not of the same sex. It's a huge pet peeve of mine in all kinds of media whether it's books or shows and movies. In this novel in particular before this scene happened I had liked how Beverly's father, as well as other parental figures, mentioned how terrible a friendship between kids of different genders were bad. In the case of Bev's father to the point of accusing her to have had sex with her friends. The way Bev's reacted with absolute horror, because yes Ben might have feeling for her, and her and Bill really like each other, but at the end of the day they are just friends, was great. It shows how these friendship can be very deep but still just be platonic, but of course it had to be ruined. I hope this is making sense, because it turned in a rant that might not read as coherent as it is in my head. Overall this scene bothered me on many levels, and in the end was totally useless.

[massivedrickhead]

Bechloe Week 2021 - Day 2

July 27th: Bed sharing/one bed

Read on AO3

Fun fact - everything I’ve written/will write for Bechloe week this year are all part of the same universe, but they won’t be posted in chronological order. So at the end of the week I’ll probably put something up with a list of the prompts in chronological order :)

-

Beca was pretty sure that sharing a bed with Chloe Beale was simultaneously the worst and best thing that had ever happened to her.

It was almost unbearable to be that close to her without being able to touch her in the way she really wanted to.

Strike that.

It was unbearable.

But Beca couldn’t sleep any other way.

On those occasions when Chloe would sleep elsewhere, Beca would find herself unable to drop off.

She’d be up most of the night tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable, unable to shut her mind off.

It was as if Chloe’s mere presence could calm Beca in a way that nothing else could.

And then they would have these moments of complete vulnerability late at night.

Chloe would reach out with a featherlight touch and run a hand through Beca’s hair. So gentle that sometimes Beca thought she was imagining it.

“Bec?”

“Hmm?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“M’kay.”

Beca would roll over, still practically asleep, and lift her arm, allowing Chloe to either scoot back into her - making Beca the big spoon - or for her to rest her head on her chest.

Beca was usually already asleep by the time Chloe had gotten into a comfortable position, but she always seemed to register the soft “thanks,” that Chloe would whisper.

On those nights when it was Beca’s turn to be comforted, Chloe seemed to always know without Beca having to ask.

Logically, Beca knew it was probably down to the fact that Beca tossed and turned more, or played on her phone for longer, that tipped Chloe off, but she liked to think that Chloe just… knew.

“What do you need?” Chloe would ask, her voice quiet and thick with sleep.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Can you do the hair thing?”

“Mhm.”

Chloe would then lie on her side and gently run her hands through Beca’s hair, her nails lightly scratching her scalp.

Her other hand would rest on Beca’s side or stomach - depending on if she was on her back or side - and her thumb would sweep gently back and forth.

In the daylight, neither would mention these moments. They’d usually wake up back on their respective sides, and if they didn’t whoever woke up first would pull away and climb out of bed - usually waking the other in the process.

And while these moments were nothing short of tortuous for Beca, they were still the favourite part of her day.

Because at two or three in the morning, nothing else matters. There are no distractions. No texts or emails to answer. No potential to be interrupted. Nowhere they needed to be.

They could just exist in the quiet together. Their bed was an island in the room. They could ask questions that, in the cold light of day, could be forgotten or ignored. They could share secrets or confess insecurities that neither would at any other time of day.

“Bec, do you believe in soulmates?”

“I don’t know. I think so. Do you?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

-

“If I hadn’t kissed Jesse, do you think things would be different?”

“Different how?”

“I don’t know. Just different. I dated him throughout all of college, maybe I missed experiencing some things?”

“Do you regret dating him so long?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

-

“Chlo’?”

“‘Yeah?”

“What if I don’t make it as a producer? What if I’m not good enough?”

“You’re the most talented person I know. You’ll make it.”

-

Over the years of being best friends with Chloe, she’d always had a crush on her. It had been a harmless thing really, she assumed everyone had a crush on Chloe.

Especially after a drunken confession to Aubrey had caused the blonde to let out a snort of laughter and say “girl, same.”

But this last year or so that they’d spent sharing a bed - sharing more of themselves with each other than they’d ever done before - Beca had fallen hard and fast and completely in love with Chloe.

Which, let’s be honest, wasn’t an ideal situation. Especially considering that, about three weeks ago, Chloe had started dating Chicago.

“He rescued us from the Med, Beca. I think I owe him a date.”

“Technically Amy and I rescued you. He turned up after the hard bit was done.”

Wearing a new dress and her highest heels, Chloe had thrown Beca a wink and said “don’t wait up!” as she left their apartment to meet him for the third time this week.

Once the door closed, Beca flopped back dramatically on the bed and let out a groan.

“You know you could tell her!” Amy called from her bedroom. “Actually, ignore that, that’s a bad idea. If she turned you down it would make our living situation way more awkward.”

“When not if,” Beca said, miserably. “Have you seen the abs on Shit-ago?”

(Yes, her nickname for Chicago was unnecessarily mean and childish, but give her a break.)

“If Chloe hadn’t accepted the date I would have climbed him like a tree,” Amy said.

“You could save me a lot of pain if you’d use those millions of dollars you have to move out so I could at least have my own room,” Beca said.

Amy left her room and was also looking dressed up for a night out.

“I’m doing you a favour captain,” Amy said. “If I move out you’ll have no excuse to share a bed anymore, and I know you can’t sleep without her. Besides, when she eventually moves in with Chicago, you won’t be able to afford the rent on your own.”

“Please don’t use his real name, it humanises him,” Beca said. “And what makes you think she’d move in with him? Has she said anything?”

“Not specifically, no. But things are obviously going well between them. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that Chloe has found ‘the one’,” Amy said. “So, you know, if you’re going to make a confession of love, time’s ticking.” She checked her phone. “I gotta go. If you are going to comfort eat please leave my Ben & Jerry’s out of it.”

“I make no promises,” Beca said.

“Hmm, due to your pathetic state, I’ll let you off. See you tomorrow!”

Beca spent the remainder of her night feeling sorry for herself, and making some truly self-indulgent mixes.

There were so many songs about unrequited love that Beca was never short of material, and when she finished she saved them in a hidden password-protected so no-one else could even accidentally listen to them.

No, these mixes weren’t going to help her career but they did make her feel at least a little bit better.

The crying and eating Amy’s ice-cream had helped too of course.

Beca was in bed by the time Chloe got back that night, and even thought she wasn’t asleep she pretended she was.

Chloe could always tell when Beca had been crying, and she definitely did not want to talk about the reason why.

So she closed her eyes when she heard the keys in the door, and kept them closed as the lights came on which was followed by the sound of high-heeled shoes walking across the apartment.

She felt the bed dip behind her, and heard the click of Chloe’s lamp turn on.

The bed jostled again, and the main light went off.

She heard running water from the bathroom as Chloe washed off her makeup and brushed her teeth, and then the sound of drawers opening as she searched for pyjamas.

She heard Chloe undressing, and tried not to picture it. She hoped Chloe didn’t need help with unzipping her dress, because she didn’t know if she could handle that right now.

Eventually the bed dipped again and the light went out.

She felt Chloe gently tug at the blankets so she could cover herself.

Then there was nothing but a calm silence.

Beca could tell by the way that Chloe was breathing that she wasn’t asleep yet and before she could stop herself, she was rolling over to face her.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hi,” Chloe replied. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Beca just smiled as she looked at Chloe’s face in the moonlight. She was so beautiful.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Beca said. “How was your night?”

They were both whispering, even though they were the only two people in the apartment, and it was only a little after midnight.

“Fine,” Chloe said. “What did you get up to?”

“Made some mixes,” Beca said. “Before you ask, no. They’re not ready yet.”

Chloe grinned. “Not even for me?”

“Especially not for you.”

“Spoil sport,” Chloe said.

They fell into an easy silence while they just continued to look at each other, and Beca felt that tug in her heart again.

She wanted more than anything to just reach out and touch her. To tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. To sweep her thumb across her jaw.

To kiss her.

God, she wanted to kiss her.

She swallowed, and turned so she was lying on her back.

Amy was right. Time was running out if she was going to say something. And Beca knew she had to say something.

She just didn’t think she could look at Chloe while she said it.

“Is everything okay?” Chloe asked, in her gentlest voice that was always Beca’s undoing.

She just had to do it. She had to rip the bandaid off and deal with whatever came after.

If Chloe turned her down… well… their friendship could survive that.

Right?

“Are you gonna move in with Chicago?”

If she’d been looking at Chloe she’d have seen her frown.

“What? No, what made you ask that? We’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks,” Chloe sounded genuinely confused, and it spurred Beca on. “We’ve been on, like, six dates.”

“But is that something you could see yourself doing? With him, I mean.”

“I… I don’t know. I don’t really know him, I hadn’t thought about it. Why?”

Beca swallowed again.

It was now or never.

“Chloe, I… fuck, this is… look, this is hard, okay. I’m not good at this.”

“Bec, you’re kinda freaking me out,” Chloe said. She sat up and switched on the lamp on her nightstand.

Beca felt instantly exposed and vulnerable - way too vulnerable - and she was up and off the bed in seconds.

“Beca-”

“Just… just give me a second,” Beca said, her heart beating uncomfortably.

She could feel tears building in her eyes and, at that exact moment, they heard the sound of keys in the door before Amy walked in.

“Funny story,” she said, shutting the door and walking further into the room. “Turns out it’s next week that I’m staying-”

She stopped abruptly, realising she had stepped into some kind of emotional minefield.

“Uh oh,” she said. “Beca when I said you should tell her I didn’t mean toni-”

“Nope!” Beca said, loudly cutting her off before walking into the bathroom and locking the door behind her.

Okay, so this wasn’t exactly going to plan.

She had locked herself in the bathroom and was maybe on the verge of a panic attack.

Not an ideal situation.

“Beca,” Chloe said, knocking on the door. “Come on, you can’t stay in there forever.”

I can try, Beca thought.

When Beca didn't respond, or give any indication that she would come out of the bathroom anytime soon, Chloe turned to Amy with a huff of frustration.

“What just happened?”

“So… she didn’t tell you anything?”

“No! I think she was about to tell me something and then…” Chloe trailed off with a shrug. “I don’t know. Something freaked her out and then you showed up.”

“Look this is really not something I should - or want to - be involved in,” Amy said. “So I’m just gonna…” She jerked a thumb towards her bedroom. Amy made a hasty retreat and Chloe returned to the bathroom door.

“Beca, please,” Chloe said. “Look, even if you don’t wanna talk to me, can you just unlock the door so I can go pee. I’ve had like a full bottle of wine tonight and you know how small my bladder is.”

She heard the lock slide and Beca opened the door.

Chloe could see tears in her eyes despite the fact that Beca was doing everything in her power to avoid looking at her.

“Thank you,” Chloe said, as Beca moved aside to let her in.

It hadn’t been a lie, Chloe really did need to pee, so after she closed the door behind her, Beca sat down on the bed and let her head drop into her hands.

It’s probably for the best, she thought. It would ruin everything.

The light from the lamp had had the same sobering effect of daylight.

It reminded her of all the reasons she hadn’t told Chloe how she felt, and why she shouldn’t tell her now.

Any fantasies she could conjure up during the night were always chased away by the day.

While Chloe was stroking her hair in the moonlight, it was easy to imagine that they could be together, but those hopes were always replaced with facts the next day. And the same thing was happening now.

Beca felt something hard lodge itself in her chest as she came to a realisation.

She couldn’t keep doing this.

She’d have to start looking for a new place.

When she heard the toilet flush and the sound of running water she quickly wiped her eyes.

She didn’t look at Chloe when she came out, and kept her eyes fixed on her clasped hands in front of her.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s going on?”

“No,” Beca said. “It’s… it’s nothing. It was dumb. Can we just go to sleep?”

“Sure,” Chloe said with a sigh.

Beca didn’t get into bed until the light was off and then she lay with her back to Chloe.

“Night Bec.”

Beca swallowed again, hoping her voice was steady. “Night.”

Beca’s phone then lit up on her bedside table.

Amy: omg tell her or I will!!!

Beca read it, smiled briefly, and then locked her phone.

She didn’t say anything else, but after a few minutes of silence, Chloe rolled over and wrapped her arm around Beca’s middle. Her other hand started stroking through her hair.

“You get a headache when you cry,” she said softly, answering the question Beca hadn’t asked.

Something broke inside Beca, and she knew she couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“I’m in love with you Chloe.”

Chloe’s hand stilled and Beca’s heart seemed to stop beating.

The silence stretched on, and Beca had to fight every urge to run.

And then Chloe’s arm tightened around Beca’s waist, and she pulled her closer.

“What took you so long?”

Beca laughed and turned around to face her. Their faces were inches apart now, and Beca could see the tears building in Chloe’s eyes.

“I was scared,” she said, her voice breaking. “I was so fucking scared. I didn’t want to lose you.”

“You could never lose me,” Chloe replied. “You will never lose me. I promise.”

Her eyes traveled over Beca’s face, flicking between her eyes, looking for doubt or regret. She didn’t see either. She saw love and adoration. She saw vulnerability, hope, and a tiny fraction of fear.

“I’m in love with you too, Bec.”

And then the fear was gone from her eyes and her face broke into a grin.

“Yeah?” Beca asked, letting out a tearful laugh.

“Yeah,” Chloe replied.

“Can I kiss you?”

Chloe nodded, and their lips met a second later.

Tomorrow, in the cold light of day, Chloe would tell Chicago she didn’t think they should see each other anymore. Tomorrow, she would ask Beca on a date and if it went well - which she knew it would - she would ask her to be her girlfriend.

Tomorrow, when the sun was up, she would repeat these things they’d said to each other in the moonlight.

She’d tell Beca she loved her.

She’d tell Beca she’d always loved her.

And Beca would say it back. A thousand times. In a thousand different ways.