#it's still true that that doesn't make my circumstances any less difficult to slot into | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

scorpius-rising · 3 months ago

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The current trend of 'anti-capitalist' (for want of a better term) positive affirmations leaves me fundamentally cold. It's not that I don't agree with the sentiments that 'rest is important', 'your worth is not defined by your productivity', etc., but at this point they're just the trend of motivational posters of the 90s and early 2000s looping back around again.

They can so easily feel like a substitute for engagement with awkward realities and the sobering nature of material conditions

#the ones that most disquiet me are the ones aimed at reframing negative self talk #'your friends appreciate you for more than what you can do for them' 'your kind presence is a balm to their troubles my dude'#because there's this patronising woobification that ignores the hard edges #like let's be honest I haven't been a good friend #i have good reasons for this- I'm a burnt out masked AuDHD dude with no money that lives with my emotionally dysfunctional family #for quite a few years now almost all my energy has gone to masking at home to keep from meltdown and the perils of huge emotional volatility #it's been the right thing to do for me to survive #but that doesn't mean that I didn't neglect friendships #that i was not able to reciprocate properly and that i might not be able to for many years if indeed ever #and as a result I do not have many people who are close friends #because like... to some degree I am a burden #that's uncomfortable but it's true #and even if I have to some degree come to terms with that #it's still true that that doesn't make my circumstances any less difficult to slot into #anyway will probably delete this later but I wanted to get some of this off my chest

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