#it's so well loved despite how early it still is. like ive been thinking about it. i havent even gotten to jeneora.

[orcelito]

So im at 724,637 words posted to ao3 now. Which means I've got another 275k words before I hit a million posted.

I wonder how long it'll take for me to get there... if I manage to tap into some good writing motivation juice again, I could definitely do that within a year. It'll probably be more than just ITNL, but I have a feeling that ITNL will be a good chunk of it...

Just need to get back into the swing of things. ITNL could certainly be well over 400k words once I actually really get into it

[idorukiss]

Heres a sorta drabble/headcanon of sorts of how I picture MC's relationship with Sylus would devleop~ I'm not much of a writer but the brainrot is real and ive made similar ones for the other boys too!

1,035 words || You can also read it on ao3

‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙ Xavier ・ Zayne ・ Rafayel

Sylus is always prepared for any and every situation that could happen when he works, In all his time reigning over the N109 zone there hasn't been a single thing or person that hasn’t been accounted for to some degree- that was until you showed up at least. Like a black cat, you seemed to bring unexpected chaos wherever you stepped.

Of course he couldn’t help but do everything he can to keep you by his side, not only to be a formidable ally but simply cause he finds you as a whole fascinating. What kind of things will you say next? How will you get out of this situation? It’s like a game to him, one that he can’t predict or brute force the ending to.

While the two of you didn't get off on the best foot at the start, he proved himself very trusting and that he cared for your well being fairly easily. Sure he would take chances to tease you for the littlest things- even creating various situations just to see your reaction to them, but he still honestly responded to your every question and kept you as best in the loop for things as he was able.

It was strange yet nice to have someone like him by your side, someone so strong and confident that you could trust to cover your back and seemingly trusted you as much to cover his in return. It was a dynamic you weren’t that used to yet, sure you had your fellow hunters but no matter how much you fought alongside any of them you just couldn’t find yourself fully trusting in their abilities like this.

The more he got to know you the more he found himself thinking about you and the things you like. Often swiping his card first and thinking later any time your face flashed in his mind when perusing wares. He wonders how long it will take you to realize he keeps all of his estates fully stocked with presents and everything you might need in the event you show up to any of them.

“Sylus? Why are you calling me so early??” “Check your door kitten, you should have a package waiting for you” “Don't tell me its another gun, I keep telling you I can't use these outside of the N109 zone” he chuckles deeply “Well I could get you a gun too if you really want one. But no, it's something different this time” Curiously you grab the box and start to open it “...A teddy bear?” “Do you not like it? I figured it could add to your growing plush collection.” You let out a small giggle “That's so sweet of you. But you didn't have to send it to me right away, you could've left it in my room for the next time I came by like usual.” his voice is soft, almost whispering into your ear “I couldn't wait to give it to you is all. Wont you accept my gift?” Your heart pounds “I love it, thank you. Ill be sure to sleep with it every night!” your face is beaming, he cant see it through the phone but he can surely hear it in your voice.

Any time you find yourself without missions long enough to justify the trip, you spend it in the N109 zone with him. You told yourself at first it was just to keep an eye on him and see if you can catch any weaknesses, but you were secretly excited to be spending time with him even if it was just sitting in content silence together while he worked. And despite his unchanging face, Sylus might’ve looked forward to each of your visits even more than you.

It wasn’t out of the ordinary to accompany him to various events and gatherings, and it was surely strictly for business at first. Now though? It’s hard to tell. Not that you mind either way, it just felt nice to have his arm around you and being doted on throughout the night. When people inquired about who you were, he would usually refer to you as his woman in a more joking way at first, but your heart couldn't help but flip the first time he said it more genuinely. While looking right at you with a smile.

One very late night after attending a party, you couldn't help but doze off in the car on the way back to his place. It was much later in the night than you are typically used to, you don’t know how he can function at this time of night most days. You can’t help but let your mind wander and picture what day to day life with him would be like if you just never went back home.- If you stayed by his side for the rest of time.

He gently carries you inside, but instead of going all of the way to your dedicated room he brings you with him into his. There's no nefarious plans, he just simply wants to have you by his side longer and has wished to wake up to your face for far too long. A faint hum stirs you from your dreams as you are being gently placed onto the comfort of his mattress. A small kiss pressed to the top of your head as the blankets pulled over you before he quietly climbs in beside you.

Did you even wake up in the first place? Even if it was still a dream it meant everything to you, and you reach an arm out pulling yourself close to him and nuzzling into his side. Your eyes flutter closed once more enjoying his warmth as he quietly chuckles to himself and wraps an arm around you in return, falling into a blissful sleep of his own. Neither of you would give up this moment for the world, you were meant to be in each other’s arms just like this for eternity.

He would kill for you, and you would live for him. Nothing anyone could do would predict your love for one another, and you'll continue to defy fate to be with him

[goosefruit]

underneath the christmas tree

vanessa shelly x fem!reader

tw: smut, sub!reader, praise kink, vanessa eats it from the back, fingering, sex toy/vibrator use

a/n: im sorry if this is ass ive had terrible writer's block for like the past two weeks help

Pressing down on the last piece of tape, you let out a little ‘aha!’ as you adjusted the material around your body. You took a long look in the mirror, admiring the result of your work.

Nothing except two pieces of wrapping paper covered your top and bottom halves, patterns of snowflakes on a red background. Of course, you made sure to cut away enough paper to show off your cleavage. A dainty pink bow was glued on the makeshift ‘bra’ to top it all off. 

Everything was held together messily by cheap tape, but that didn’t really matter; the outfit was made to be torn apart anyways. 

You looked like a real present. 

For the past forty-five minutes, you had been working on this bizarre scheme that you had thought to be so hilarious. Vanessa was taking one of her hour-long showers, giving you a perfect period of time to take advantage of. 

You heard the shower turn off and quickly rushed to take your place beneath the Christmas tree. 

Though there were still a couple of days to go until Christmas Day, presents were already stacked in neat piles around the base of the tree. At least a quarter of them were from Vanessa to you, who loved to spoil you with her cop money. 

Vanessa stepped out of the washroom in her bathrobe, damp hair draped across her shoulders.

“Woah! Did Santa come early this year?” A playful grin took over her face as she caught sight of you on your knees under the tree. 

“This exactly what you wished for?” You asked her sweetly, feigning innocence despite being half-naked. 

“Mhm,” she leaned down to kiss you. Fresh out of the shower, you could smell a combination of her shampoo, body wash, and lotion. You moaned softly against her lips and pulled her down so that she was on the ground with you. 

Her hands began to wander on your body, nails lightly scratching your bare back. With that, you felt her tongue enter your mouth, and you knew that she was getting impatient for more. 

“Unwrap me,” your voice was barely a whisper. 

In one effortless motion, Vanessa ripped your top in half, letting it fall to the floor. She did not waste a second before cupping your breasts in her hands, squeezing and massaging them. You sucked on the tip of her tongue to let her know how much you were enjoying it. 

Without breaking the kiss, she scooped you up in her arms and carried you to the rug in front of the fireplace. Here, you didn’t have to worry about knocking anything over. 

Her mouth eventually found itself on your breast, licking a stripe up your cleavage. Squeals and whines spewed out of you as she sucked hickeys into your soft skin. 

“So pretty, my love,” Her breath tickled against your collarbone. “Such perfect tits, and you wrapped them up so well for me.”

Fuck, her praises made you so wet. 

“You sound so adorable too. All I want to do is make you whine and moan all day, touching those beautiful tits however you want me to. Think you can be louder for me?”

You nodded swiftly, meeting her lustful eyes.

“Good girl.”

An embarrassingly loud moan slipped out between your lips. 

“Now, let’s see what else we got here.” She slipped her fingers under the remaining wrapping paper and pulled it off your hips, crumpling it into a ball and throwing it god knows where.

Your pussy practically gleamed in the light, folds slick with arousal. You couldn’t help but thrust your hips up in a desperate need for any kind of friction. 

Vanessa gasped with mock-astonishment. “How did you know that this was at the top of my wishlist?” 

You gave her a light slap on the arm for her sarcasm. 

Now, you were in a position where you laid on your back with her on top of you. Her fingers brushed over the top of your pussy. Your sore, needy pussy. 

“I can’t believe this pretty cunt is all mine. Did me playing with your tits get you this wet?” Her hands wrapped around the back of your calves and placed your legs over her shoulders. You shivered as her damp hair stuck to your sensitive inner thighs. 

“Vanessa, touch me please,” you needed to feel her tongue before you passed out from arousal.

“Oh look sweetie, your pussy’s getting wetter, all for me! It’s practically gushing out of you, my needy girl,” she pressed kisses down your thighs, neglecting the part where you needed her most. “I wanna get a taste of that sweet nectar.”

“Just p-please, I need you. Please, please, please, Vanessa.” 

“However, I do have a better idea. On all fours for me, sweetheart.”

You groaned at your pleasure being delayed for even a second longer, but obliged as you had no other choice. Vanessa went behind you, firmly gripping both of your thighs. “What a perfect view,” she sighed lovingly. Before you had time to process, she buried her face in your soaked heat, nails digging into your skin. She pulled you closer to her by the legs, and you yelped as you felt her tongue on your clit after that agonizing wait. 

“Y-yes baby! Fuck— just like that.” You screamed at the top of your lungs. If losing your voice was what it took for her to keep going, you were gladly ready to make the sacrifice.

Vanessa slipped two fingers inside of you, then adding a third when she decided that you were turned on enough to easily take all three. She curled them rhythmically, alternating with strokes of her tongue against your throbbing clit. It was almost embarrassing how fast your orgasm was building up, but every move your girlfriend made brought you closer to the inevitable.

“Just like that, feels so good. God it feels so good, don’t stop, please don’t stop.” You wailed, squeezing your eyes shut. You prayed with all your might that Vanessa was feeling generous enough to let you cum straight away tonight. 

“What a good girl. You taste amazing, I can’t get enough.” She grabbed at your ass, leaving a red imprint. “Cum when you’re ready, m’kay my dear? ‘M not going to be mean tonight, you’ve been such a good girl.”

The “thank you” that you meant to say was lost amongst a long string of moans and profanities as you finally reached your climax. Thrusting your core onto her tongue, arousal gushed out into her mouth and all over her fingers. You didn’t know how long it was until your legs stopped shaking.

“You did such a good job. I’m so proud of you,” Vanessa scooped you up in her arms and held you against her chest, which was rising up and down quickly as she, too, tried to catch her breath.

After a brief moment, she set you down to grab something from the tree.

“Since I got to open an early present today, I thought it would only be fair for you to open one of your own too.” 

She handed you a box, wrapped with blue paper and white ribbon. 

You almost choked when you saw what was inside.

A light pink G-spot vibrator——it seemed rather expensive too, with various different settings built in. 

Vanessa helped you take it out of its packaging, knowing your hands were still shaky from your orgasm. As you examined the toy, she untied her robe and threw it aside, leaving you with a breathtaking view of her naked body. 

“Allow me to give you a demo.”

Taking the toy, she pressed herself against you irresistibly. Her nipples were hard and erect, toned abs flexing as she rolled her hips onto you. The stickiness on her lips tasted of your pleasure.

She lined the silicone up with your entrance, pushing half of it in before turning on the vibrations. You moaned as it found your sweet spot, throwing your head back in ecstasy. 

“Feels good, hmm?” Vanessa hummed, slowly rocking the toy up and down inside of you. “Got some pretty friggin’ great reviews online. Maybe you could leave your own after.” 

Her ability to talk so casually while fucking you never failed to turn you on. Your stomach flipped nonstop, a knot tightening in your core. 

She turned the vibrator up a setting and positioned the handle along her slit.

The noises she let out as she ground her clit against the silicone were sinful, moans and whimpers laced with pure lust. She kept a hand on the toy, now drawing small circles on your g-spot. 

“You gonna cum, baby? Is my princess gonna cum?” Her breathing was harsh and ragged as she began to seek her own high. 

“Ye— turn it up another s-setting, please!” 

She did what you asked, and was rewarded by a huge spurt of squirt splattering all over her thighs. You cried out her name hoarsely as you came, limbs spasming like crazy. 

“You’re so fucking hot, good fucking girl. Squirting all over me like that, gonna make me cum, holy shit.” 

Another roll of her hips, and Vanessa finished with a silent scream. 

It was a rare sight, seeing her lose control like that—back arching, eyebrows knitted, eyes rolling back, and mouth wide open. You loved it.

When she was stable enough to stand, she got up to retrieve her bathrobe and covered the two of you with it. The fireplace softly crackled in the background, radiating heat. 

You laid with your eyes closed as she spooned you from behind, feeling so warm, so loved, and so very grateful.

[calcium-chan]

DRAWMEGLE DUMP FROM LIKEFORVER AGO

drawmegle was this weird little website that was like omegle, except for drawing and nominally fewer nazis?? tho at launch that was a bit of an issue lol (idk the creator went on vacation right after advertising or something? oops). i got sucked into it for like a day or two and ended up drawing a bunch of stuff. ive lost some of it because there was this weird glitch that just deleted my drawings before i could save them or anything. OH WELL. thats also the reason some of these are slightly unfinished. im also going to be cropping most of these to just my side, exceptions where its funny, or the other persons art was nice or whatever. just know that these almost all had people on the other side who were also drawing their own thing. also of note, i wont be posting these in order of creation, its mostly arbitrary tbh

this first one is of haru from dorohedodo. i had just finished reading the manga about a month or so prior, and i really loved this character a lot. disregard the amogus or whatever. dorohedoro is really cool and its really special to me now. not a fan of the anime adaption but what the fuck else is new (im sorry if you like the anime, i just didnt like the style very much). Q hayashida is brilliant, and she clearly just really loves women like a lot, thank you miss Q!

next is this silly drawing of knives chau. scott pilgrim takes off had just aired, and i was slightly enamored with knives for a bit, i kin the scott pilgrim girl fucking sue me. i also drew kim, but the drawing deleted and this was the last save i had WAHOOOOOO its so fucking over. scott pilgrim takes off was obviously really really good in my opinion, and its like the perfect way to adapt an original work in my mind. uh shout outs knives or whatever.

oops shitty cowboy bebop drawing. i like this one well enough for how goofy it is. jets fucking face still kinda gets me. i love bebop a ton, but i dont think ive ever drawn the characters despite that. theyre actually a ton of fun to draw, like their shapes are all super varied and they have distinct style about them. very good cast of characters. i didnt even realize or mean to, but i kinda gave spike a fucking granny face, oops

uuuuhthese pissing dogs are really funny, they were fun to draw, and seeing peoples reactions to this one in particular was cool. having even a little bit of ability to draw on sites like this where randos are looking at your work as youre drawing it is always kind of an ego boost. like none of these drawings are really that great, but for the medium im happy with them, and having people show up and go "woah" was always really flattering and it was fun watching the other people draw and interacting with them in some limited capacity.

ggggundam bullshit. i left the other persons side this time because i thought it was kinda funny. i had been rewatching the early part of turn A gundam, and it really reminded me how fucking cool that series is? loran is like top 10 gender non conforming mech pilots (there are a surprising amount honestly). and it always kinda takes me off guard when i watch any gundam because they were just so forward thinking in a nominally "boy" coded genre. shoutouts the fucking gundam staff frfr.

@oretal joined me for these next two!

a lot of the shit in the second drawing is probably totally incomprehensible to like anyone outside of a select group. were both have that like, 3ds era nintendo brain parasite, so a lot of these are just weird obscure game characters or memes, or just straight up OCs. most of these are actually oretals little characters which have kind of entered that inside joke canon of being so ubiquitous between the two of us (and honestly i assume oretals friend group at large) that i kinda forget "glasses girl" isnt a well known character. many such cases. thank you oretal for drawing silly shit with me! i really like your drawing of james and your madotsuki yapping about blunt rotations to uboa. very cool

uuuh quick fire round of stuff i dont like how i drew but want to post anyways. the first one is my irl husband, aki from chainsaw man. i love him a lot, kinda hate this drawing tho, i think it was the first one i did? the second one is basil from omori, im a big fan of little blorbos who peep the horror, and basil is no exception. my friend got me the little vinyl figure of him for my birthday so i end up thinking about him a lot and i doodle him every now and then. very good design. the last one is kiruko from heavenly delusion. i did not have much hype going into the show after my middling feelings on summertime rendering (they were both in the news for being on disney+ for absolutely no reason). i dont remember what got me to watch it, but by the time episode 2 ended i was stuck in big time. i ended up binging the whole series in like one night and it was such a good time. the prototypical calcium show is probably somewhere between heavenly delusion and made in abyss. its a rough watch at times, but if you have this specific brainrot, its probably one of the best in its league tbh.

second to last is this drawing of vriska homestuck. i kept the other side because it was really pretty. im genuinely quite pleased witht his drawing, its not perfect but for what it is i find it visually appealing enough to like it. vriskas design is probably the best in homestuck, at least to me. its been a long time since ive read through homestuck proper, but something about these little shits sticks with you pretty much forever. actual fucking deadly brain parasites you get from dunking your head underwater in an infested pool, dead within days.

OOPS ALL KUMI CHAN! it had to be alien nine, it could only be alien nine. i love alien nine more than i love any of my blood relatives. kumi is literally me, i love this stupid fucking series so much you have no idea.

[everythingisround]

info dump about raggedy ann and andy, just recently watched the show and i am in love B))

hello!! ive been in the fandom for two and a half years (almost three lol), so i know a bit about raggedy ann and andy.

so raggedy ann and andy were created in the early 20th century, the former sibling coming first with her patent in september 1915. the most popular legend surrounding her creation is that she was based off an old rag doll that belonged to creator johnny gruelle's mother/sister (can't remember exactly), who he then drew a face on and gave to his beloved daughter, marcella, who sadly would pass away months after ann's patent. marcella's inclusion in the raggedy books has been seen by many raggedy historians as johnny working through his grief by immortalizing his daughter's likeness in his stories to remember her in a positive way. andy came around in august 1920 and is said to have been created with johnny's sons, worth and richard, in mind.

the 1977 film is probably where a lot of the younger fans first became interested in raggedy ann (well, that and tadc, and even then gooseworx is a pretty big fan of the film and even specifically based jax's voice on raggedy andy from the film), although the 1986 broadway musical has also been bringing a lot of people in through tumblr and tiktok. the film, despite ultimately flopping at the box office, had the esteemed richard williams at the helm of the animation, even animating the ever so popular "no girl's toy" sequence. of course, richard williams being richard williams, went way overbudget and way past the deadline and ended up being removed from the project just so it could get released. considering the composer of the film, joe raposo, theorized that the film flopping had something to do with the first star wars movie being released around the same time, it's interesting to think about how the raggedy film's fate could've been altered if it had released the year prior for america's bicentennial. the 1986 musical is a whole other can of worms, and im still learning a lot about it from being in the RARE server (which you should definitely check out, wink wink nudge nudge), but to summarize, a combination of a development team constantly at the brink of self-destruction, constant adherence to a family-friendly atmosphere spurred by parental concerns despite the dark themes playwright william gibson intended the story to have, and too much of the budget spent on expensive special effects that nearly killed the actors led to the musical notoriously flopping on broadway and ending its run prematurely never to be seen or heard from again. or so they thought.......

although the 1986 musical is considered a failure in the united states, over in russia, the story has a small cult following amongst childrens and community theatre productions. basically, in 1985, the musical was brought to the USSR as part of a cultural exchange between the two superpowers, and considering that russians had not been familiarized with raggedy ann or her cultural impact up until this point, this led to the rag doll and her friends not being seen as cheap americana, but rather somewhat of a childrens fable (ironic, considering raggedy ann as a character was born from johnny gruelle's stories...). because of this, russian productions of rag dolly (the 1986 musical) are plentiful, with even some very recent productions popping up every now and then. it should be noted that these productions rarely contain the original songs; sometimes the story will just be played straight with no music, while other productions will substitute the lack of musical songs with their own music. this can lead to some..... interesting results lol

i feel it is also important to bring up the various other adaptations of raggedy ann, too! there's the original books, of course, but if you're an animation nerd like me, there's the 1941 fleischer short (which takes some.... interesting creative liberties from the original source material), the two noveltoons shorts, the chuck jones holiday specials from 1978 and 79, the 1980s cartoon (watch at your own risk lol), and the two snowden specials from 1998; one is just a straightforward direct-to-vhs animated special, while the second is a full ice show with animated segments dispersed throughout. you get to see raggedy elvis! who doesnt want to see raggedy elvis?

in this last section ill just toss to you a bunch of links i recommend if you wanna learn more about raggedy ann beyond the movie!

(i should also probably mention now that some books and adaptations of raggedy ann feature racial stereotypes- i know suddenly its spring has a racial caricature in terms of adaptations specifically- likely due to the culture at the time. these depictions are obviously not right, but sadly when we're talking about a franchise that has been around for over a century, it's kind of unavoidable especially in the older books, so just be aware that those depictions will come up occasionally.)

my pal brooklyn is also working on a more extensive video on raggedy ann history, so be on the lookout for that when it comes out :)

[justtogetthrough]

At the end of the call she thanked me for calling her and allowing her the opportunity to help because she loves me so much and thinks of me so often. I told her that while I was driving and just, trying to figure out what the fuck to do about any of this and knowing I needed help and turning it all over and over in my mind, she was the only person I actually wanted to talk to. She said that made her want to cry and that I will always have her, and I'm never alone because she is always a call away. This is a woman where even after meeting her once or twice when she and my dad started seeing each other, she made sure I knew her home (which my dad moved into) was always open to me, any time, for however long I need, hell I could even just show up without calling if I needed to. There have been times where I've needed to get away/not be by myself and I bring my cats and stay for 2 or 3 weeks.

I just have issues around asking for help and if I go there it means I'm around my dad and that's the hard part lol.

It's so hard to maintain relationships and this past year has been the worst, I've just cut myself off from everyone. So to be in an (extended) moment of panic and be like. I need help. Who do I ask. I knew who would respond favourably and even then her response was above and beyond my wildest dreams of the kind of love I needed right then 🥺

Welp it's Friday night and I'm at the end of my vacation time and I did not do any of the things I set out to do on my time off.

I stopped by my house today to check on it myself for the first time in 5 weeks and found a mess made by mice. Had a meltdown and could not do the other things I needed to in that town and came right home instead. Sobbed in the car. Pulled off to the shoulder half way through the drive to text the only person in the world I could think of to help me get through the problems I'm currently having and not make me feel like shit about myself because of them, my dad's wife. I asked her if she might have time tonight or tomorrow for a phone call because I need guidance and I feel so lost and helpless. She wrote back, "I always have time for you."

It broke me but like, in a good way.

I needed to hear that.

And the weird part is I actually believe her.

[beewolfwrites]

Can you make a part two to ‘The Only Thing That Matters’, possibly with Chishiya at his workplace the next day!? I love your work thank uuu💕💕

The Only Thing That Matters - Part 2

I'm sorry it's taken a while! This started off with nurses gossiping about him and then took off in a different, but wholesome direction.

I think I just wanted a different universe where Hayato lives :(

Chishiya x fem reader. You can find part 1 on my materlist.

_______________________________________________

News always did travel fast, especially in hospitals. 

From the moment I stepped into work, I had been assaulted by sideways glances, whispers, and one or two heated blushes from nurses, doctors and fellow surgeons alike. I wasn’t oblivious to the way women - and some men - sometimes looked at me, but this was different. This was annoying. 

I entered the shared surgeons’ office and turned up the mini heater under my desk, glad for the warmth, peace and quiet. However, I had only so much as switched on the computer and logged onto the hospital system, when a timid knock sounded from the door. 

‘Come in.’ 

A young, female junior doctor peeked through. ‘Chishiya-sensei? It’s about that patient, the little boy, Hayato. He was just brought into recovery now.’ 

Hayato’s surgery was always going to be complicated. Originally, I had been assigned to Hayato’s care. However, due to “priority” surgeries, the only slot available had been in the early hours of the morning, and my manager had transferred Hayato’s case to my colleague. 

Was I glad? Perhaps. It was one less patient to concern myself with. But there was something else about him. The innocent questions he had asked, the way he clutched his mother’s hand every time I told him what exactly the surgery would entail. There was something mysterious that intrigued me about his case. 

But what?

‘He’s still under anaesthesia,’ the junior doctor said, drawing my attention back into the office. ‘But you can go and see him if you want.’ 

I ignored her suggestion. ‘Did the surgery go well?’ 

‘It was a success! It’s good you’re so invested, Chishiya-sensei. Do you have children yourself?’ 

My mood instantly darkened. Did she really think I couldn’t read between the lines? That I was so ignorant I wouldn’t know what had caused her to ask, or the intentions behind it? 

‘No.’ 

“Ah. Oh well.’ She tried to hide a smile. ‘Does Mrs Chishiya not want children?’ 

‘What Mrs Chishiya wants is nobody’s business but my own.’ 

And certainly not yours. 

The doctor froze, then bowed her head in apology. A pink blush spread across her cheeks. ‘Forgive me. I was a little too forward.’ 

Just a little?

She disappeared, the door shutting softly behind her. Due to her own unprofessionalism, she was probably going to avoid me for the rest of the week. How convenient. It would be one less headache to deal with. 

However, her news had stirred something inside me. Hayato had been in and out of the hospital for weeks, his condition rapidly declining. His liver was quickly giving up, and would have eventually failed if not for the last minute donation. 

I was in no rush, but I still found myself drawn into the ward, where doctors, physicians, anaesthetists and nurses rushed around, unconcerned by my presence. I didn’t have to think. My feet moved automatically, directing me towards recovery.  

Now, after the surgery, Hayato was already looking healthier. His skin was warmer in tone, less clammy, even if he was still unconscious and hooked up to a heart monitor. I approached the bed, wondering why I was even bothering. This boy was no longer my patient. 

‘He’s doing so well.’ 

A general nurse appeared from behind me. Unlike the junior doctor, Ume had been working at this hospital for at least forty years. She always plodded along happily, despite having arthritis in her hip. Not that I cared. I only knew because she never stopped talking about it in the staff lunch room. Ume checked his condition, ensuring his IV had enough fluid. 

‘It looks like he’s going to pull through just fine,’ she said. 

‘I see.’ 

What am I doing here? 

She carefully adjusted Hayato’s pillow, ensuring his neck was supported. ‘It’s good that he’s got someone like you watching over him. You’d make a good father.’ 

My first instinct was to recoil. Was this really what they thought of me? Now that they knew I was married, they were obsessed with painting me as a family man? I must have been glaring at Ume, as she took a step back, nervousness flashing across her features. 

She raised a withered hand. ‘I apologise, that was too much. I just think that any child you might have would be lucky.’ 

I thought about my wife, the way your hair lay sprawled out on the pillow that morning, and the flash of your smile every time I arrived home after a long shift. You had never said anything about starting a family, but knowing your caring nature and how much enjoyment you gained from baby-sitting others’ children, you were probably holding back.  

What kind of father would I be?

The only image I could conjure was my father’s back, hunched over his desk. 

‘I wouldn’t say they would be lucky,’ I said. 

‘Hmm…’ Ume smiled. ‘I think you’re doing yourself a disservice, Chishiya-sensei. My son is trying for a child with his wife. He wasn’t sure if he wanted one at first either. They decided to wait until they settled down, which was difficult because I wanted grandchildren of my own right away, even if they had just married. For a long time, I was worried I had pressurised him too much, but it turned out he just hadn’t been ready until now. I’m not complaining anymore. I’m happy for them either way, whatever they choose to do.’ 

Her story did nothing for me. These people didn’t matter to me whatsoever. They were just small, insignificant names in a family line I didn’t belong to. In fact, I didn’t want to talk about this, especially not with Ume. This discussion had run its course. 

’Do you have the surgery list for today?’ I asked. 

Her face fell slightly. ‘Yes, Chishiya-sensei. Your first patient is due at 9am.’ 

Nodding, I walked away. I simply had no interest in conversations like these. 

Despite this, all throughout the morning I had found myself distracted. After staring out of the window for fifteen minutes, I realised I had missed the tail end of an important meeting. When I sat down at my desk to check the shift rota, I stared at the screen for a long, long time, before eventually remembering why I had sat down at all. Meanwhile, the stares continued, the giggles, the whispers in the staff lunch room. 

By the time my break rolled around, I was already bored of being the latest piece of gossip on the grapevine. Wandering outside into the car park, I pulled out my phone and dialled the only number I knew by heart. It picked up on the third ring. 

‘Woah!’ Your voice was fuzzy down the line, but just hearing it eased this boredom. ‘Chishiya Shuntarou, calling me at lunch? To what do I owe the honour?’ 

‘How has your day been so far?’

It was a stupid question to ask. I wasn’t sure why I was calling, either. Or why I wavered so much in my response. 

‘Oh, you know, the usual. Corporate nonsense.’ 

Finding a quiet corner away from the bus stop and the smokers, I leaned against the brick wall of the hospital. ‘Ah… that’s good.’ 

‘You sound really weird. Is everything okay?’ 

There was concern there. Concern that I didn’t want. But no matter what, there would always be concern, whether it was that our marriage was too work-heavy, that my parents would always frown upon her, that really, she should have married somebody else…

‘You always wanted to start a family,’ I said quietly. ‘But you’ve never brought it up.’ 

There was silence on the other end. ‘How did you know?’

‘Because I know you.’ 

Once again, a hesitation. ‘I do want that.’ 

‘Then why didn’t you say anything?’ 

‘Because you don’t want that.’ 

Of all the stupid reasons…

My fingers tightened around the phone. ’You shouldn’t have put your life on hold,’ I said. ‘It’s not all about what I want.’ 

‘And it’s not all about what I want either,’ you replied swiftly. There was a defeated, slightly muffled sigh. ‘We’re in this together, Shuntarou, and we both know you’re not ready for children. You might never be. And that’s okay.’ 

Your voice was soft and comforting, yet tinged with sadness. There were no words I could offer that hadn’t already been spoken. 

‘And besides,’ you added. ‘I haven’t actually put my life on hold. You’re my life now, whether I like it or not. And I don’t want a family if it’s not with you.’

‘I…’ I swallowed, unable to find the right thing to say. The words disappeared as soon as I thought them.

‘I know,’ you said. ‘I love you too, Shuntarou.’ 

All at once, your voice, so calm and assured, expelled any lingering doubt in my mind. Just like the spring sunshine, gently melting the frosted landscape of my life. 

[turigirl]

Could you tell us either abt ur ocs or your f/os? :-)

hi anon i love you

my ocs that ive been thinking about most lately have been those under the tag "fine & mellow" :o) theyre a 60s girl band! ive read a lot about the dynamics of popular bands, specifically in this time period, and i think the love-hate relationship that usually results is really interesting.

i think if i ever illustrated it in some way (art or writing or etc) id want it to be a comic. maybe a webcomic, maybe a physical comic. im not super sure on that.

id want to include things like interviews, magazine covers, album covers, photos of them, etc, played as from a real band (as real as a picture of furries can be). i have a list of album names and song ideas for each one (some being existing songs to pretend are theirs, some being "original" songs. meaning i made it up)

the band is founded in 1959 by dominique dalmatian, who is the main character. she's reserved- not shy necessarily but cautious of every new person she meets. she has bpd (projectionn of my symptomsss) and depression that creeps in slowly and immobilizes her. and she plays bass! she has a strong work ethic and will push her feelings (and others') aside to finish her work, in this case being f&m's albums.

fine & mellow is the name of the band, by the way, to be clear. it's named after a jazz standard and slowly becomes more and more ironic.

there are other guitarists before, of course, but the most important one is laura labradoodle. she's peppy and brings a lighter tone to their music as well as a more romantic light. shes a brilliant songwriter, despite it being really just a hobby. shes a full time photographer when they recruit her. when she joins in 1962, the band as a whole changes. she and dom write songs together, becoming closer and closer. that relationship and how it bends and breaks is especially what i would focus on. there's something so heartbreaking about getting so close, hearing a part of the others soul, only for something to backfire and send the band into a downward spiral.

clears my throat. so anyway, the drummer is named lolly lamb, and she stays from the beginning (until she's pushed out by jackie, who you'll hear about in a sec). she adores 40s and 50s fashion and has a seemingly instinctual sense of beat. drumming for f&m started out as a favor for her friend and ended up becoming so much more for her, and the rest of them.

in early 1964, after a couple months of no creative breaks, laura brings in... a hairdresser. her name is jackie jackrabbit, and she stares at the other two like they've grown new heads. but she's laura's friend, and they know the moment she sings with them that they've got something special. jackie is a little snobby and a little blunt, but manages to fit in fairly well. she can't play an instrument, but her singing ability more than makes up for it, and laura hands her a tambourine a few months later.

they release an album in july, and it seems to be the domino piece slowly falling into place. after months of arguing with jackie, lolly leaves the band.

they hire a session drummer, LAYLA, but she quickly becomes their permanent drummer for their next albums. layla (stylized in all caps) is the stage name of susie sloth-bear, a drummer who first got famous as a model. but she was good, playing as a session drummer across the states.

but the making of their next album with layla is FULL of arguments, and they go on a 5 month hiatus. the hiatus gave them the new material they were looking for, but they struggled to work together in making them. most of the songs on the next album would be mainly played by one individual member. only layla collaborated with the other three. the damage was done, and their 1967 album, fittingly titled "kill the lights," would be their last.

so that was kinda long, huh? i still don't have everything set in stone, but here's a summary probably way longer than you expected. they also all have refs! which are on my toyhouse (link). i would upload them here, and someday i might get around to it, but i dont have the energy to write ids for all of em. so. ill leave it at all this. if anyone has any questions, though, id be happy to answer :o) im still workin out the kinks!

[completely-zoned-out]

hehe im coming to say hi here instead of the other way around :3 but omg i think it just hit me now that.... w gwangil gone that's gonna be a very long time without an ot4 comeback and part of me just wants wonsang to enlist as soon as possible so that the time will be shorter until theyre back :( but i wonder if hes working on a lot of songs to put out while theyre enlisted since hes the producer.... i could def see yechan and sangyeop doing some type of comeback or putting out new music and maybe even collabing w other kbands like they did with daybreak. i honestly just hope we still get some new music cause idk how ill survive 2 years with no new lucy music (ik ill survive somehow but ive consistently been able to look forward to amazing comebacks from lucy since i stanned in 2022 during play era so... it'll def be a change of pace) BUT YEAH EMO HOURS HERE I COME 🫠

id be interested to know what you think their plan is for enlistment era. whether wonsang is gonna enlist sooner or later and new music timeline etc!! recently also been thinking about what type of songs lucy would write for you...

yechan would make a super emotional song and ofc its gonna have a beautiful violin section in it, i feel like he could even incorporate some classical music into it and it'd be soooo pretty. but more frequently than writing his own songs for you he'd always take your requests for anything you want him to play

sangyeop would probably put you through some emotions like he'd be singing his heart out to you and after hes done he'd be his usual bright cheery self acting like he didn't just make you cry from his pretty voice

wonsang 100% gonna write an admiration song about you like he did with holly LMAO and would poke fun at your habits or your relationship together, would prob sound like an anime opening too CAUSE HES WONSANG <//3 (my bias rly showing through damn why do i have so many thoughts abt this) but knowing how many songs he writes he'd prob have a range as well with some sadder or just more emotional romantic songs

gwangil is gonna write you the cutest and most heartwarming song ever just like his song would you dance with me !! i feel like hes really into the bright and fun side of love and while his voice is rly suited for slower softer songs, he would want to make you smile with his song, not cry so he'd stray away from that vibe skdjks

man i rly love them so much 💔💔💔 lucy are the best !!

Hi :3

Seeing the photos from their schedules really made it hit home that he isn't there. Stoppp it hadn't even occurred to me that we won't be getting ot4 comeback for a while. I do hope that Wonsang goes soon, but you're right he's probably busy working on stuff that they can put out while he's gone. That would make most sense anyway. I think he'd maybe go around Dec/early next year? I'd imagine they'd want him to be there for award show season if they perform and then he'd go after that? I really hope Yechan and Sangyeop put out music or at least just do schedules while the others are away. Alot of the videos that I had seen when villain came out were just Yechan and Sangyeop, so I wasn't sure if that was them preparing us for how it will be over the next couple of years lol. I think they'll continue to thrive even as a duo, isn't N.Flying still doing well despite being down 3 members? (I haven't kept up to date with them, so I genuinely don't know. All I know is Seunghyub has been in a couple of dramas lol)

I do think we'll get another cb before Wonsang goes! Wasn't boogie man released in Dec? Maybe they'll do another one then?

Yes!! Yechan would definitely have classical or Ghibli vibes in his song! All I can think of is my warm loneliness with it's soft sound and beautiful violin solo in the middle of it. I agree, I think it would be super emotional but also really cute, I think I'd cry if he wrote me a song ahaha. I think Yechan may regret taking requests lol, I definitely would have a few

Sangyeop would be such a menace, writing such an emotional song that makes you bawl and then he'd probably have the audacity to tease you for crying after. I think his would definitely be acoustic (so that you can focus on his voice more) . I think the lyrics would be so beautiful, I NEED him to write me a song lol. I would cry if there was a key change in it, I am a sucker for a key change

Wonsang's song for Holly was so cute oh my goodness. Another song like domino would be so funny. It's such a funny song, especially with the intro ahaha. Maybe he would put funny sound bites from videos of you both in the intro, from clips of you doing the most stupid things (but he finds it endearing because he is so in love with you). Oh and the bit between the verse and chorus could be him listening off things that he loves about you (in his really cute voice 🥺)

I feel like Gwangil would write such a goofy song. I definitely think he would be able to write a really emotional song like Sangyeop, but he's not gonna show you that yet (he's waiting for the right moment because he's going to ask for your hand after, I need to stop lol). I could see it being a really cheesy song or one that's filled with stupid puns because he knows that you hate them but you love him and he's going to be annoying about it. I love how you said that he's "into the bright and fun side of love", I definitely agree with that. I agree that he wouldn't want to make you cry, I feel like his is the only one who wouldn't make you cry with his song (Wonsang wouldn't want to make you cry, but he writes such beautiful songs that I think he would do it accidentally lol)

I think I'm getting a little to in to this, I need to stop (but this will definitely be all I think about for the rest of the day lol). That was very fun to think about

How's life treating you now that it's September? Has your schedule become really busy or is it not too bad? It's definitely been weird to not be in any form of school this year, this is the first time in like 19yrs that I haven't done this (that make me feel so disgusting and old to say that ahaha). Hope you aren't too busy or overwhelmed!

[sankttealeaf]

crying my eyes out at the parents!ruetash things. it all makes so much sense!! the DRAMA. ok but i'm still curious so if you feel like talking about them some more - did they plan to have kids or was it more accidental? i know rue had some real issues re: pregnancy in the fic, how did she ultimately deal with it? and since she was afraid of hurting their kids, do you think there were ever any close calls? sorry i. love them

i am ALWAYS down to talk about parent!ruetash especially because theyve been on my mind lately!!! <3 thanks for indulging me :D

it was purely accidental, these two are NOT safe when it comes to getting it on. when rue finds out she's pissed and doesnt tell him for like a tenday while she tries to come to terms with her options. ideally she would like to remove it, but then if it were to ever get out people may try and turn it into a Big Deal and she doesnt want the hassle

she tells gortash eventually and he is both overjoyed (woo he gets to continue his legacy) and kind of concerned because rue is being Too Calm about this. he wants this, she feels trapped in it but sure, he'll indulge in his little happy families fantasies - when their kid tries to kill him one night she wont stop them. its his fault for fucking a bhaalspawn

rue, despite how against children she is, uses her pregnancy to her advantage. gets her way all the time. loves the power trip. "gortash, you have to get me the imported fruits from the south. the babe wants it. i cant help it" or "im not moving from this chair my back hurts so i need you to feed me - this is your kid, pull your fucking weight"

calls their children "his problem". he wanted them so he has to deal with them. i think the actual act of giving birth is hell for him specifically and gortash is forced out of the room because she is trying to kill him for putting her through this (sorry rue, you do it again in a few years time)

i think theres been a few close calls. some nights gortash wakes up and rue is just. standing over the crib watching their child sleep. he has to coax her back to bed and on nights she feels really bad she's locked away in one of the guest rooms. (i like to think the reason she Is That Way is she sees their kid as a threat to her position in the temple of bhaal. even tho they are tiny and cannot kill her, one day theyll grow up and maybe discover their bloodline and try and kill her and she cant have that. best rid them early on)

its also why she distances herself from them. cant harm them if she isnt around them, right? its not until they have their son does she realise that she can feel when her urges are worsening, she's able to control herself. its fine.

when their kids grow up and none of them have tried to kill her, i think she becomes a better mother to them. thinks back to her foster family and how they treated her and tries to do the same despite being in a far better position than they were.

also slight tangent but the kids are like, a spitting image of gortash. i like the idea that there's no "tiefling" traits in them (because rue isnt a tiefling) & the only trait she passes down are the odd patches of skin discolouration or the freckles or maybe little flecks of white in their hair. bhaals flesh doesnt translate well, because the whole point (to me) is to blend in with the world. so when rue is stuck looking after the children she's always remembering her own childhood and Not Having A Good Time :)

i love to make her suffer. girl i am sorry.

THANKS for the ask!!! i love rambling about these two and ive had them on the brain a lot lately!! one day ill name these kids. we'll see

[ivomartins]

helloo omg it's vivi i just noticed that you answered the asks (while scrolling through hsr tag i need the update so bad i can't live like this)

dogging on hs is a full time job and we're employees of the month 🤞 ntm on hs tho bc i will end up playing hs3 if it's ever released bc i need to see my li happy.

im new to rc so i can't say much about the writers but i think what you said does make a lot of sense. when new characters were introduced in hs2 it had the same tone as hs1. i would say there was a slight improvement bc astaroth and hunger were 10x more interesting than hs1 characters but the dialogue and their way of speaking was the same as hs1. like how do you pride yourself on being soo much better than mortals and speak exactly like them? why are you, as lucifer, speaking like a frat boy? make it make sense.

anyway, as opposed to hs, the immortals are actually different from mortals. lane noticing the lack of human warmth and emotions on cains face, despite how serene and aristocratic he looks right off the bat immediately showed us that they're not easily understood and they operate differently than humans. and the dialogue flows so much more naturally in hsr and different characters have their own distinguished way of speaking. (interesting that cain sometimes speaks so formally like during the church scene, but at other times uses mortal slang. just how long has he been roaming around earth?)

tbh now that ive analyzed the flying scene, he does seem somewhat sincere and like you said, they're both only looking out for themselves so they have a sense of kinship. (also love that lane is so unbothered about saving humanity or whatever and specifically said shes only going to translate what she needs... im obsessed with her)

but is it insane of me to hope that he's just being nice for the sake of using her? ive been ranting to everyone who would listen about how much i adore the church scene, it was the exact balance of unsettling and sensual, psychedelic and dreamlike. it had so much tension and i loved how cain was portrayed in it. but he's being suspiciously sweet and protective of her, cute, but i miss the tension 😭 he and lane are some of the most interesting characters ive seen in a while and id hate for them to lose everything that makes them unique to a generic romance so early.

what about your theories on how they could've known each other earlier? and what do you think about cain's past?

not this entire ass essay 😭 i love a good religious horror media what can i say. since ur just as obsessed w hsr as i am it's fun talking to you but this is a lot to think ab and reply to pls take ur time 😭💓

(ps to answer what you asked about choices, i haven't touched it since i got back into rc 🤞)

we truly are the pioneers of hs shit talk and i love this for us <3

i chuckled at your comment about lucifer talking like a frat boy because why is that so fucking true 😭

it really is just in the book's nature i think because if you look at the massive growth of alice's writing between hs1 and hs2, it's wild how the writing for hs2 still isn't that much better except in certain areas (hunger is masterfully written, for example, and the emo vibe was captured pretty well too since alice is an angst grandmaster)

like heaven's secret is simply, intrinsically, a haphazard low-quality story - because that was the foundation in hs1 and so it's only natural hs2 and hs3 will be the same. and i'm not hating on it when i say that because i definitely get why some people love it but as someone who's a bit of a snob and doesn't like harry potter vibe stories, it's just not for me

i'm living for your thoughts and analysis of hs:r though omg i didn't catch on to cain's manner of speech swinging between formal and informal, that's so interesting?? but YES overall i'm also hoping that we'll get more of the intensity we got with the church scene and that the dark undertone to their dynamic will prove to be an actual Theme and not just a one-off thing. i would actually GRIEVE if cain's route devolved into basic lovey dovey shit 😭

have you checked out dmitry's scenes? what did you think of them? 👀

when it comes to cain's past and his history with lane, i... have no clue tbh like that's just how good the suspense is. generally i'm expecting cain to be somehow tied to the event/entity/power that caused lane's memory gap because her dreams are clearly very significant and she dreams of him at the start of the book + that could be the reason why she got so woozy in the church scene instead of him seducing her with his power, because of whatever tie that binds them through that. but we know so little about him and his motivations that it's hard for me to theorize anything about his past. i adore pre-established dynamics though so i honestly think we're in for some juicy shit regardless of our theories. i can't wait!!!

shut up i lived for your essay and gave you one of my own pls 😭♥️ you're totally good!! i'm having just as much fun chatting with you angel <3

i haven't touched choices since the nanny affair 😭 though i do miss the good OG books sometimes ngl like open heart s1 remains ICONIC and forever in my heart and also the werewolf book uhh i forgot its name but it was sooo goood. there's not even a comparison with rc though whew it was such a huge upgrade for me especially since i started off with arcanum of all books - truly could not put it down

[dreamofmetoday]

QUICK READING RECAP

27th to 30th of march 2023

💌✨🍓does justin bieber love hailey bieber?

↳ 3oS,KoP, frog rx

it’s hard to explain because the answer is yes and no. i don’t think he married her because he was deeply in love with her. she was just there, convenient and compatible with him so he considered her a good longterm option. he always had affection and love for her (it just wasn’t “in love”) and he’s grown to love her more over time. she’s a good wife on paper and there’s a sense of being comfortable but i don’t think he’s been faithful.

💫🍄🫧does justin bieber miss selena gomez?

↳ 4oC, 10oC

yes, he reminisces sometimes and misses her. when he’s bored or upset with how his life is he does wonder how it could have been but i don’t think he wants her in a serious way, so in that sense he doesn’t miss her.

🍇🧸💭what makes someone romantically desirable (personality) to nct’s jaehyun?

↳ heart, stars

when someone wants simple, classic romance. someone who’s compassionate and gentle. he naturally likes someone who’s more on the optimistic side and is peaceful and happy.

🏮🦒💡how does ryujin feel about her masculine image?

↳ stars, 6oW, plantain

she is fine with it but she doesn’t see it as “masculine” herself and wouldn’t appreciate being called manly or anything male-adjacent you could say. she thinks she’s just being her most comfortable self, so she’s not trying to present a masculine image and nor is she trying to present a feminine one. she basically just sees her masculine image as “non-idol ryujin” in her mind, it’s not super deep to her.

🍊🥭🥬how is crush and red velvet joy’s relationship currently?

↳ wheat rx, star, QoC

they’re out of the honeymoon stage for sure so there’s a need to be proactive and for them to add spice to the relationship themselves, they also have to deal with conflicting schedules but it’s pretty solid. they have fun together and feel emotionally fulfilled.

🧁🍡🍬how does aespa’s winter see giselle?

↳ house, tower

winter sees giselle as someone who’s out to get something or achieve a goal but doesn’t quite have the ability to yet (ambitious), though winter sees she is working steadily. she thinks giselle is consistent and doesn’t expect too many surprises from her. she sees giselle as well-connected (most likely through family) but that despite this she is actually pretty lonely and sort of an outcast.

🎂🥞🍰is nct’s taeyong dating right now?

↳ mandrake, 6oP, emperor

yes. could be in the early stages currently because i get he’s still in the phase where he’s showing off and doing his best to put his best foot forward to impress the other person. strong physical attraction.

🍸🥡🍾how will aespa’s comeback do?

↳ cow, 10oW, 7oC

bit confusing because it seems sm will be satisfied with the result and they are being protected and helped in many ways (idk if it’s about past scandals or if this comeback will involve more scandals happening such as plagiarism or even from the members or something). however, the members themselves will be really upset with this whole comeback once it’s over… i’m meaning almost wishing they never debuted in this group sort of upset. this could be a sort of filler comeback in the company’s eyes, so it gives the girls enough exposure and the company enough money while they focus on the next new thing, but it’s not exactly spectacular or what aespa thought they were going to be doing.

🍂🎍🍁random prediction for aespa within the next year?

↳ 8oC, 5oS

new concept or way of approaching their image. reminds me of embracing simplicity, so i think they will try a more tried and true og girl group method and it will be a good move for them overall. however, there is some sort of interruption coming up for them that will likely also affect their reputation in some way - a scandal, losing someone or something, someone leaking something, a cancellation, sabotage etc. but they will overcome this and are protected.

🎏🎁🧸something random about ive’s wonyoung right now?

↳ 8oC, 6oC, QoC, 9oS, mistletoe rx

she has a lot of anxiety about having to grow up. she isn’t happy about not being a minor anymore and is worried about what people are going to expect of her now, personally and professionally. she is afraid of dating for this reason too, i don’t think she has ever been in a relationship and likely even avoids crushes and gets nervous about people approaching her.

🥂☕️🍪is starship mistreating ive’s liz? is it because she gained weight?

↳ lady’s mantle, KoC, judgment

no, they’re not technically mistreating her nor are they too concerned with her weight gain. they’re actually worried about her mental health and confidence and liz herself may have even requested to not have so much attention on her after becoming insecure from reactions to her in previous comebacks. i don’t think it’s that serious in the sense that she’s going to be super hidden in this comeback* but realistically she would probably even go on hiatus if she could. however, starship did think they could twist this to their advantage and get some attention from it, all press is good press sort of thing. they think the sympathy for liz and marketing her as an underdog is actually beneficial to them. so in this sense they are not really looking out for her.

*as in she’s not actually going to be super hidden.

💐🍄🍃is twice’s sana bisexual?

↳ clover, celtic bean, KoC, justice

yes! but when it comes to serious relationships may focus on men, at least currently.

🥂🪷✨what did sullyoon think of jinni leaving nmixx?

↳ star, devil, empress

she was genuinely a bit sad but she mostly viewed it in a very objective way from a work perspective. she thought it was a good thing because she didn’t trust jinni to behave and she thought about how there’s less people to share their pay between now but she was upset about the fact that jinni was one of the prettier and more talented members (in her eyes) so she was worried people wouldn’t like the group as much anymore. mostly, she just did her best to be optimistic.

[imaginespazzi]

Bestie bestie bestie!

Hello :) Where to even begin after so much time.. I guess first I'll note that my last anon to you is starred below just so we can follow the thread of last convo somewhat (and honestly just wanted to ensure you knew I at one point wrote in over you hiatuses)..

Ok on to more new stuff: Biggest news is Im off to the wifeys motherland (ironic a bit as I believe shes currently playing in my fatherland). I'll report back on food a day drink 😋 ca va?

Yay Liberty, they did it! 🗽Plenty of kudos to the Lynx as well. Was a great series all around. Even if my nerves barely withstood those overtimes & dramatic endings.

Coaching movement in the W continues to make my head spin. OMG the Thibaults are gone, didnt see that coming tbh! I remain seated for all the hirings/happenings to come. And cant believe we're almost to the lottery selection w still so much upheaval in place 🤯

Hope all is well w you despite lifes busyness. Take care

** Hi hi hi bestie! Yes that anon was me ha. I realized after sending that I left of my emoji signature, but was pretty sure youd connect things, given some hyper specific topics ha. Hope life is treating you alright apart from just being busy!

Im personally just relieved that the Libs managed to even things up last night, while still trying to process the 2nd half & OT of game 1 lol. That one was all just absolutely bonkers. Crazy entertaining, even if it hurt my NY supporting heart at the time.

When it comes to the coaching moves, def in agreement that Indy doesnt deserve good things. What do you make of who the Valks named HC? Seems a good hire to me at a quick glance, but Im also leery of anyone who might be involved w the Aces lawsuit ordeal (tbf Im not super well informed on that, but dont believe Ive ever seen her referenced w that stuff). Yeah objectively I dont feel that a (random) late winning run/playoff push, external circumstances w the standings aside, was worth dropping your odds of getting #1/Paige from like 30 to 10 %. Still struggle to understand why they ended up trying to fight the path that established itself early on. Granted kind of unexpected and extreme circumstances, but still, lemons to lemonade if you will. Im not feeling eager for the draw next month..

Honestly it will be interesting now to see/follow any Liz activity while she hits the offseason as college ball starts up soon. Curious to see if any crumbs or reactions come up at all. W those two seeming to be at an avoidance phase, another college wbb couple needs to step up and provide us w some (non toxic) drama to follow over the season ha! Not you tho Pazzi, you stay lovely/wholesome/stable/healthy

One additional GH note - I obvi live for snark, so wanted to share my fav lines from Ch 10

“Won’t somebody please think about the complications” Jana in full menace mode and so funny. "I mean other than the woman you married as well that is" The fact that Azzi will not ever say her name I just love. I also have this idea that Stephie, when older and knows pretty much everything re her parents history, will continue the she who shall not be named thing in support of her mama. (And Im not entirely discounting the possibility of a bit of real time drama w Olivia that wont help w this whole Azzi grudge).

Wishing you a good start to the week!! -☕️ **

Hi hi lovely I missed you <3

Ah babes that must have gotten lost in my sea of asks because I've been so bad about answering them. It's funny how much has change since whenever you sent that thought because the W has become a revolving door of coaching changes.

I really like the Valks HC choice. She's been very effective with the LVAces and I expect that to continue. Same with the recent news we go today of Tyler Marsh with the Sky. I think LVAces coaching staff in general is so strong and them branching off is good for the league and both the Valks and the Sky with these coaches and a little bit of time for player development should eventually be really good. Ultimately the lawsuit is a front office issue and I don't think these two had much to do with it and so until I see issues in their new respective teams, I don't think we can hold it against them.

LIBERTYYYYYYY. So happy for them and of course props to the Lynx. And honestly thank you to both teams for giving us what I think, despite that one foul, is the greatest W finals we've ever had.

THE THIBAULTS ARE GONE. You were one of the first people I thought of when I saw that news. Honestly I have no idea what to think. I really didn't see it coming and as much as I've done a lot of nepo baby this nepo baby that, I don't necessarily know if this is the right choice but I'll wait to see who they appoint as the head coach to really figure out my thoughts.

Lottery in 2 weeks?? What the actual hell? Like y'all we're likely gonna know where Paige is going before we even see Azzi on the court and that's insane to me.

OOOOH I have some CWBB drama if anyone wants it. Did y'all peep Last-Tear's Poa's shady insta caption she deleted? Her and Sam'yah Smith were a thing and streets are saying maybe she cheated?

Pazzi are being wholesome as always. "Silly girl" - what if I jump off a cliff :)

[thehandwixard]

well friends and lovers i am officially one hour into kingdom hearts 1 on steam! i will be taking frequent breaks because i get motion sick very easily and i refuse to let that taint my experience. some notes!

i am still on destiny island

this game starts off very... not conceptual, but close to it right off the bat. it commands a certain kind of drama you either get or you dont, and i am certainly primed to give it all ive got, so im loving it. there's a surprising amount of dialogue you can get from tidus selphie and wakka on destiny island that give a bit more context into the kids' lives, and its illuminating.

the major thread im picking up on is that many of the kids think they know what the others are thinking, and don't at all. it's even easy for the player to look at sora and say that compared to riku and kairi, he doesn't seem to have a lot on his mind, but that's not true, and the player knows its true because of the dream.

"i've been having these weird thoughts lately. Like, is any of this for real, or not?" as the opening lines of kh before the opening movie have stuck in my brain since i saw them. anyways its easy to forget just how lovable these kids are. i forgot how cute the disney scenes are too, i can say this for the cutscenes in general but while theyre a little clunky at times, theres a lot of heart in them. as much drama that the original character cutscenes command from the outset, the early disney scenes bring forward as much like. whimsy and slapstick. its just a very charming opening hour with the deep sense of "ah. so no one knows what is happening"

thoughts are scattered. get used to that because of liveblog purposes. i'm just incredibly happy right now. The controls will take some getting used to, and i might have to switch the camera to auto. i chose the path of the mystic, so thatll cause me problems no doubt but sue me i like magic. i was not able to beat riku. sora has no movement tech. no maidens. his bitch isnt bad enough.

but like yeah selphie does small stuff like talk about how wakka probably hasnt noticed kairi riku and sora doing stuff, but he does. one example. these kids dont really know whats going on in eachother's heads.. also strikes me how explicitly they do consider destiny islands a kind of paradise away from their parents' nagging, and how despite wakka being the oldest, riku is far and away considered the most capable. sora comes off as very quiet in a certain way, and its a vibe i really enjoy. no one pretends to understand riku, but he explains himself pretty clearly. vibes are good. the door is not yet open

[redgoldblue]

hellooo. for the fic asks: 8, 16 (to be mean back, affectionately), 20, 38!

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Well, okay, I was originally thinking of a bit in I Would Break Into Your House (the dialogue immediately around the kiss in v. including "This is an intervention for your brain, not my dick.", or possibly the bit after Danny finds the grenade in iv.), but I reread the first part of the almost-finished Muncle wip today. and as stated on a previous reblog i miss Napoleon and Illya. and the major reason I like this part is that I do think it really sounds like both of them, and despite having written so much of them for last year's advent calendar, I'm still having to work to make sure I capture their voices exactly right. But I think I got them here, including Illya's understated yet campy dry snark and Napoleon's equally campy chronic unbotheredness.

(Jeanne is another agent Napoleon slept with the night before)

“Not up to your standards, my friend?” Illya asks, dropping his bag onto the nearest of the single beds. “Oh, my standards aren’t that high. Just thinking it wouldn’t be up to Jeanne’s.” “Ah, no. I can imagine many things wouldn’t be.” The look Napoleon gives him is definitely amused, a wry dart from under his eyelashes. “Didn’t take a liking to our Agent Voix?” “Am I not allowed my little foibles?” “You’re allowed as large a foible as you’d like,” Napoleon tells him, patting him on the shoulder as he passes. Sitting on his own bed, he adds, “I certainly have enough.” “We are discussing one of them,” Illya agrees.

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

I mean... I think I have the same answer as you actually. it is mean bc I write for so goddamn many pairings, and I love writing for all of them both separately and for the internal variety. But in the end I think I'd have to pick Steve/Danny, on historical evidence alone (the 22 in brackets after Hawaii Five-0 on my AO3 dashboard, 7 more than the next fandom down, which is one I've been writing in for... four years longer. only four years longer? god H50's been with me for a long time.)

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

Ooh. there's a few elements - music, moving vehicles, rain, liminal spaces/times, a certain state of tiredness where I've just gotten the perfect ability to like, zone into hyperfocus without actively getting sleepy, which is usually associated with having woken up early but not having had to do anything particularly mentally strenuous. They all came to a head in my ideal writing condition one (1) time in my life, which was getting the train from Melbourne to Sydney (a 12-hr ride) by myself, which meant leaving at 7-something am, after a brief vacation and a friend's wedding. Unfortunately I actually had to also be studying for an exam at the time, but I did get some writing in. I'm contemplating whether I can work things so I can repeat it in the opposite direction next month when this term ends (post-exams this time).

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

There is one I still have screenshotted on my desktop from two years ago, so I have to mention it. It's Starsky & Hutch fandom, which is relevant a) bc of course it is, it's the nicest most supportive most receptive fandom on earth and b) bc it's such an old fandom that comments from people you know have been in it for decades always have that extra sheen to them, y'know? And I'm sure I probably actually know who she is but I haven't managed to match username to real person but it's such a nice comment. Self-confessedly gushing about how much she loved it, which is the best type of comment. Also it was on Come Take The Wheel, one of those >10k fics I wrote entirely without deadlines, a fact that always seems vaguely miraculous to me.

fic writer asks!

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 6/6/2023

two things to frontload:

if you have good vibes to send off in service of me getting a livable apartment in the greater houston tx area i would be most grateful, bc the hunt ain't fuckin goin too fuckin great

go play ABZÛ

listening

soul bossa nova by quincy jones bc it popped up on my discover weekly. i can only assume spotify recced this to me for bossa nova reasons bc i have been categorically ignoring austin powers my entire life and intend to continue on in this fashion.

it is a bop tho.

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reading

when i wrote the pinned post for this blog i settled on "a common throughline in Shit What I Like is understanding how and why systems work" bc i hadn't yet listened to Well There's Your Problem, a podcast with slides about engineering disasters and systemic failures, and "OSHA aficionado" is shorter but less snappy than "WTYPP fan". anyway when i think "chemical spill" i do not generally think "hand sanitizer spill", and when i think "how do i get rid of all this unsellable poorly made hand sanitizer made in the early days of the pandemic" i do not immediately leap to "well i'll just dump pallets in this parking lot and warehouse and surely it won't spill and/or explode bc hand sanitizer is a product that makes you safer".

ArtNaturals was, at that point, not on the [FDA warning] list. Its sanitizer, labeled with a tasteful, millennial-friendly design that said it was vegan and infused with jojoba oil, was marketed as “safe for kids” and “a great bulk hand sanitizer pack for parents and teachers.” At least two school districts on the West Coast had purchased the sanitizer to distribute to students, in addition to two Ivy League universities. Then, in March 2021, a year into sales, an independent lab in Connecticut called Valisure announced that it had found benzene in the company’s sanitizer. Benzene, a widely used industrial chemical derived from petroleum, can be absorbed through the skin and is known to be a risk factor for leukemia.

came across it bc my rss feed really wanted me to subscribe to longreads (no), but this one did catch my eye as i was checking to make sure the site still wasn't for me

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watching

watching this was a unexpectedly funny experience bc i recognized one of the backing instrumentals as a previous tuesdaypost song, which kind of felt like solving a mystery book on chapter three bc u knew an obscure fact about eels. this documentary came out in nov 22 and the song was one of this past feb's tuesdaysongs so i can only assume the spike in popularity from the documentary propelled it onto my discover weekly playlist??? the internet is a series of algorithmic tubes &tc

this is a tremendous work, as a documentary/history/archival effort/piece of art. it made me tear up. there's a very lovely sequence about memory and legacy that got me thinking a lot again about how i would like to be remembered. ive rewritten this section four times, when usually i don't redraft the tuesdaypost much at all. boils down to: complex and weird topic to talk about as an orphan, i am reluctant to be any more emotionally vulnerable than i absolutely have to during this time of great cross-country change and moving upheaval.

i appreciated how this was not tearjerker webby bait, which would have made it feel very hollow and embittered me even more during a week i am already predisposed to hate humanity. instead, mr perjurer is simply very good at his job (being an ethical documentarian)

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playing

one game i really loved and one game i really hated, so it goes.

despite religiously downloading the epic store free game of the week bc i have a reminder written in my planner, i never fucking remember to actually look at what i have in that library.

ABZÛ genuinely healed my heart during a very unpleasant weekend.

i don't use this as a recs platform except for this one time when i am cashing in all my chips. go play ABZÛ, it takes like an hour and a half.

all you need to know about it you can get from the cover art. it is not a hard game and it is not a horror game. i went in totally blind and the less you know about this game the better. i was delighted nearly every minute. every time i saw an ammonite i felt like i was seeing an old friend. there are SO many clever game design choices i want to talk about. message me after you play this. i said "of COURSE IT WAS AUSTIN FUCKING WINTORY ON THE SCORE" during the credits. what an absolutely goddamn perfect little jewel of a game.

AGAIN: go play ABZÛ.

i also played Call of the Sea, bc it was in my epic library and i wanted something fast and oceanic to continue the high of ABZÛ.

Call of the Sea did not continue the high of ABZÛ. i think this team carefully and thoughtfully sidestepped several of the usual issues is making something Lovecraftian but fell into the rest of the pits. eg i liked that they had Polynesian culture consultants, but from an interview it seemed like it was limited to a one-day crash course? i am deeply grateful this isn't a dead-wife game and the female protagonist has a great deal of agency, but she's still a rich white lady from boston trekking about the Tahitian islands commenting on primitive structures, which made me suck air in through my teeth at many points. there is an "ancient slave culture" thread that never actually resolves. i really wish it resolved. the game overall is in a very weird place, trapped between the norms and mores of the early 40s and the 2020s. you have Got to commit to one or the other.

the overall vibe is very polished for a first game. general vibes are Firewatch but puzzle-adventure. the lighting is a little too dynamic and was very distracting throughout. due to this studio's age (new) and odd location (spain) and how their debut game came out (took a year and a half to make, debuted on gamepass) i understand why this game exists the way it does from a marketing and industry standpoint and why they favored visual polish and art style over everything else. it's still annoying bc it is so close to an interesting game.

the twist particularly infuriated me as a chronically ill person, spoilers for the twist behind rot13

gur gjvfg vf gung Abenu gur cebgnt vf frpergyl n "Qnhtugre bs Pguhyuh", naq ure puebavp cebterffvat gb grezvany vyyarff vf op fur'f ba Rnegu naq abg va gur Urnirayl Ernyzf jvgu Pguhyh jurer fur orybatf. guvf frg bss fbzr fvyrag nynez oryyf gb zr nf n puebavpnyyl vyy crefba, op vg vf Fb fvzvyne gb gur Arj Ntr "vaqvtb puvyqera" pbaprcg. n terng qrny bs zrqvpny nohfr naq abezny nohfr fheebhaqf guvf pbaprcg. guvf ernyyl fbherq gur raqvat sbe zr

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making

fallow week. if it isn't moving-related it isn't happening, and even then a lot of moving-related things are grinding on painfully slowly