#it's so funny im sorry it's how i cope with having to live in the most heterosexual college ever ok

[snixx]

babygirl if you knew how many homewrecker fantasies I daydream about on a daily basis it's gonna be so over

[todayisafridaynight]

theres no better place for my ichi ringtone to go off than during my exam tbh

[devotedlystrangewizard]

"being autistic is about being bad at reading social cues" "being autistic is about stimming & sensory overload" NO.

this is autism.

[wishmkr-jirachi]

...

[joshtoby]

hi im back….

i haven’t stayed up this late in fourscore days

[81folklore]

helpless - RUSSELL

pairings: george russell x hamilton!ensemble!reader (fc: ella kora)

summary: george ends his softlaunch with a cast member of hamilton on the westend

authors note: sorry for not posting in forever but ive had no motivation and i cant find the want to finish some of my drafts so have a brand new smau thats been BREWING in my brain ever since i saw hamilton the other week. its literally one my favorite musicals so you know i had to incorporate my two interests, you dont need to have seen hamilton or know about the story for this!

important: rg63 is george’s private instagram

masterlist

georgerussell63

liked by alex_albon, yourusername and 366,450 others

water, sports and sunsets☀️

view comments

user7 shirtless george is back!!

user10 hes so…

user45 THE SOFTLAUNCH HAS TO END SOON RIGHT😭😭

user12 i miss when george wouldnt make me feel single every post😔

yourusername oh myyy🫠

yourusername

liked by jakeh_j, lilymhe and 235 others

smiles (mostly) all round this summer☀️

tagged: rg63 and jakeh_j

view comments

rg63 miss you darling🤍

yourusername miss you too love💜

jakeh_j dinner soon?

yourusername yes!! g is coming to a show soon so we can do it then :)

jakeh_j sounds good👍

user6 cant wait to see you in hamilton!

yourfriend cutie🫶

georgerussell63 and alex_albon have added to their stories

yourusername ahhh cant wait to see you all💜

f1updates

liked by user72, user1 and 2367 others

george, alex and lily with fans today in london

view comments

user1 im the one in the third photo, they were in a rush as they had to go to the theatre but they were all so sweet and took the time to sign a hat i had!

user10 was anyone else with them?

user1 there wasnt! i dont think george was with his girlfriend but she could’ve been waiting for them somewhere else☺️

user72 idk why them going to the theatre together is funny but it is😭

user5 right?? it feels so random😭

user53 i can’t believe they watched hamilton before me

georgerussell63

liked by alex_albon, yourusername and 872,426 others

i have been with you since the beginning of your incredible journey of living out your dream of being in the west end. i know how much getting this part in hamilton meant to you and getting to see you on stage brings me so much joy, forever proud of you darling🤍

tagged yourusername

view comments

yourusername george☹️i will love you forever and ever thank you soso much for being by my side💜

yourusername you have no idea how happy it makes me to know you are in the crowd

alex_albon thanks for being my friend so lily can see her favorite musical😁

georgerussell63 yeah no worries man👊

yourusername alex i hope you know its me she loves to see, not hamilton🤨

alex_albon your wrong.

lilymhe shes very much correct🫶

user7 WHAT IS HAPPENING

user5 HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH

user25 WAKE UP GEORGE POSTED HER AHHHH user6

user6 OMG I LITERALLY SAW HER THE OTHER DAY😭

user10 this is so cute (im sobbing)

user8 wow the highway is such a good place to stargaze!!

user83 i cannot cope why is this so🫠🫠

lewishamilton 💜💜

yourusername

liked by georgerussell63, lilymhe and 6273 others

i look into your eyes and the skys the limit. georgie my love for you is timeless, each day i think about how lucky i am to have you by my side and how lucky i am to get to be the one to love you. you have changed the way i view the world and myself and my life will always be better now youve entered it, and no matter what this chapter in our lives will stick with me forever and always💜

tagged georgerussell63

view comments

georgerussell63 i am so grateful you have come into my life

georgerussell63 i love you so much darling

yourusername i will never stop loving you🫶

lilymhe when will i get posts like this☹️

yourusername yours is next lovely🤭

alex_albon babe?? i post you all the time

lilymhe and yet you havent used a lyric from hamilton🤨

user16 oh i love them so much😭

user45 my😭love😭for😭you😭is😭timeless😭

user12 hahhaa im so happy for you😭😭

jakej_h i hate people in love

yourusername you love us really😁

user9 MY HEART CANNOT TAKE THIS

user7 OH MY GOD GEORGE LOOKS SO GOOD🫠

liked by yourusername and others

user101 george is so boyfriend🤭

user62 that first picture😮‍💨

user99 they are so in love😭

[lucienne-thee-librarian]

Tw: lesbophobia, bullying, petty bitching about the Mean Girls remake and a subset of OG movie fans:

I Know. I KNOW its a me thing. But I saw a post that broke containment about the new Mean Girls movie how OMG REGINA CANONICALLY SINGS ABOUT GETTING GIRLS IN THE END SONG and my first response was "oh god, really?"

Look, I was never wild about the whole "Regina George was secretly closeted and that's why she picked on Janis to distract from her own feelings and save herself" fan theory but at least it was JUST a fan theory. And I know the original movie ending where it turns out Janis isn't even really gay, she was Lebanese and Regina got confused, and see she dances with a boy at the end, it's all okay she wasn't ACTUALLY a dyke!!!! - yeah I rolled my eyes too. Yeah, that was dumb and a coward's move, but idk. At least the movie itself, even if it copped out at the end by not risking having two of the protagonists be ACTUALLY gay in a teen movie...at least it seems aware that homophobic bullying is bad??

The original movie, whatever else you can say about it, or how it handled that issue or any others...at least tried to take that shit seriously. Janis was an outcast years after middle school who flinches at the idea of Damian telling anyone new about what Regina said about her for fear any new friends would abandon her immediately over it. Even Regina herself (blithely, callously, of course, but it's meant to be that) admits that the bullying Janis got as a result of Regina spreading those rumors about her made Janis break down, cut her hair and have to leave school temporarily over the rumors. Regina said that. Herself. With no remorse but she said it. The movie is a comedy, but it doesn't shy away from how brutal bullying of all forms can be. That's kind of the whole point of the goddamn movie.

But idk if the fans of this theory haven't experienced that much bullying themselves or its just a coping mechanism I can't relate to...that theory of "oh Regina's a closet case homophobe poor thing" just completely (to me) softens the whole thing, these fans do it to by making Regina in a sense, another victim. They may not intend it that way, but in the few times I've seen a Mean Girls post and my nostalgia got me scrolling a bit I've stumbled on this. Seen it in various places online and it always made me want to hiss like a wet cat because it's always like "omg poor Regina comphet sucks <333" and. Hork. Im sorry, hork.

Sorry, but I spent too much time BEING on the receiving end of that shit in middle school, getting called names and treated like an actual disease up until I moved to high school with mostly a whole new set of people over the fact someone spread rumors I was a lesbian, to feel anything but frustration over that. Yeah. I was Janis. I'll admit I can't be "objective" here. I never did any of the shit she does in Mean Girls in revenge, I never had the power or inclination, it wasn't a former friend who started it, but yeah I'm biased because that character was me. I know what it was like to be her because I lived it. And yeah, it kind of sucked!!! Did get better, but yeah. Was what it was.

It's a big part of why I've never liked the trope in popular culture that the loudest homophobic bullies are actually closet cases. It's not that "right wing politician caught soliciting blowjobs" has never been a headline but come on. Most of the people who trash queer people do it because they just hate us. Its trivializing of homophobic harassment to act like that's 1) a good explanation for most cases 2) much less an excuse and that's how it can be used. It'd be one thing if a self-hating person's mindset was like. Actually explored with depth and nuance as part of a story. But otherwise, nah. Miss my formerly lowkey traumatized teenage ass with that dismissive cliched shit.

So even the idea that the movie might be lending any kind of weight to that theory about Regina, however subtle or subtextual, that is??? Yeah funny lol, such iconic, very Representation. Fucking bite me. My lesbian ass is tuning right the fuck out. I'm not paying movie ticket prices to see this, if I'm gonna basically get the sort of person who would've made my life hell as a preteen and tween get turned into One Of Us with the expectation that's going to make me freak out with joy. Even if allegedly they did actually make Janis a lesbian (which, good for them if they did).

Of course, it could just be fans blowing something out of proportion but. Like y'all are not making me want to see this movie MORE and I was at best lukewarm on it having never seen the musical and being lowkey burnt out on the idea of yet another remake.

[passports-pls]

I was very disappointed in the lack of quality Mine playlists so I made my own 🤞

Listen here

you COULD listen to it in your own free time OR you could listen to it alongside my mentally insane directors commentary 😌

(under the cut)

for the sake of this post not getting too long I am grouping all the important songs into different categories pertaining to the different eras of mine tm

Pre-Daigo Misery (Nobody - The Other Woman)

This section is mostly abt Mine being a lonely little weirdo (characterised mostly by the smiths unsurprisingly) and because this era lacks a lot of actual content my notes are less specific between songs

There are actually so many male manipulator songs that fit too perfectly with Mine in this part of his life that I couldn't resist like I'm sorry but creep by radiohead is LITERALLY about him i don't make the rules

Okay but I do find 'Heaven Knowns Im Miserable Now' so funny in this context because I'm sure Mine was forcing himself into the yakuza expecting it to be so much easier to have close connections with these other men compared to his previous 9-5, only to find its almost exactly like his 9-5 just with more crime

'Salvatore' and 'Therefore I Am' are specifically the songs I attach to his bateman-esque grindset and his bubbling hatred for most of the people he works with dsfgf

okay but THE OTHER WOMAN ASWELL. It's literally mine you wouldn't understand. He dedicates so much time to taking care of himself and setting himself up to be an actual catch of a man and yet,, no one gives a shit about him despite all the effort he puts into his lifestyle to appeal to the ppl around him

LIKE??? Kicking and screaming he's so lana del ray coded

Just the sheer depression of this era i feel so bad for him

Yandere-mode activated (Can't Get You Out of My Head - The Killing Moon)

Self explanatory however actually finding songs that pertain to his specific brand of obsession was surprisingly difficult sfdsf

Although I will say that I cope and seethe at the fact that I had to sift through Killing Stalking playlists to settle on most of these songs gfdgsf

Theres such a delicate balance between the right amount of fluff and insanity that very few songs capture without being about literal stalking

like no in this case the stalker fucking won

that and vibes of idolizing Daigo like a god, I think 'Out of Touch' and 'Stolen Dance' do this the best

And freak because I can only imagine in all of Mine's relationships it's always been purely transactional and no ones ever put in the effort to actually talk and get to know Mine in any intimate form.

my poor touch starved blorbo

FEELINGS TM (Romantic Homicide - How to Dissapear)

THIS SECTION I FEEL GREATLY ABOUT

These songs to me are all about how Mine copes with Daigo's hospitalisation and when he wakes up. His whole internal battle surrounding his premature grief and his loss of connection with Daigo because could no longer see him as a truly living thing anymore

'Change' specifically hits when you think about it in this context. Because it's not so much about any real change in Daigo himself it's all about Mine's mental image of him now (because let's be real, Mine was way more in love with the idealised version he had of Daigo more than anything tangible about him)

IFHY is a little more of any iffy choice but I think it still convey's a lot about how conflicted Mine likely felt as well as just continuing his Yandere behaviour just in a much more sinister flavour

Okay but here's where my favourite song of the entire list is

WHITE FLAG BABY

admittedly it's completely self indulgent and ties into the mine-lives theory. But just the guilt and shame Mine felt when he see's that Daigo was indeed alive and that he was going to have to explain the past few weeks to him

yeah i would've thrown myself off that roof as well

also the lyric "I will go down with this ship" paralleling his "everyone abandons ship eventually" line just tickles my brain in the best way

'Door' and 'I Guess' are also just Mine guilt tm as well

'I guess' even more specifically because he's literally attached himself to daigo like a parasite and now he's thinking daigo's gonna break up with him I just AUGH

He KNOWS he's completely fucked up but I don't think he realises how much of a pushover Daigo is just yet and that he would have forgiven him eventually gjfdg

I'll probably update this with more notes as I remember them but for now I hope y'all enjoy the playlist!

[lepoppeta]

VOX and ALASTOR (in relation to other ships)

this is a long one, whoopsie. it gets a bit ramble-y - sorry if its hard to follow.

in the context of ships outside of radiostatic (namely voxvel and alastiel) i feel like its bad form to remove any and all instances of alastor and vox knowing each other prior for the sake of these other relationships. that being said im personally not a huge fan of pining/unrequited love, so ive been thinking about vox and alastors falling out through a non-sexual, non-traditionally romantic lens (but mostly non-sexual - calling something non-romantic is tricky because romance is so subjective. granted, so is sex, but its less so - maybe i should be saying non-erotic? eh, whatever).

thankfully, the situation works out to be just as potentially heartbreaking (if youre into that sort of thing). the angle im working from is that vox and alastor absolutely used to be Asshole Friends - cutthroat overlords and jovial rivals who absolutely made everyone elses lives around them miserable for their own amusement. after they both became aware that voxs power and influence was succeeding alastors own, vox offered him a partnership, and alastor refused.

usually what i see from fan content is that vox intends this "partnership" to be romantic and/or sexual, and alastor, wanting none of it, rebuffs him. vox is often depicted as a horny wet cat of a person, and while its funny, its not something i personally go for (in fact, one of my headcanons is that any relationship that vox may have with valentino is actually a coping mechanism for his hurt feelings, and is in no way indicative of how hed actually be with alastor in comparison to val). additionally, making vox super-horny and masochistic is sometimes used as a way to put vox in the wrong, either as a way to balance the argument or to have alastor be morally correct for dismissing him. while i like all three options, this version of events will definitely make vox look like more of an asshole, but dont worry - alastors no basket of roses either. he does his damage too, just to the wrong person.

in this instance im using themes of modernisation versus standardisation. my favourite version of alastor to play with mostly relates to his comic counterpart, and as part of that i like to imagine that he likes being "vintage" and doesnt consider this a detriment to his abilities as an overlord, even if hes not as influential as he once was. vox, meanwhile, comes from a mindset where progress and modernisation is everything. alastor is his friend - a business partner in everything but documentation, and he doesnt want to leave such an asset behind. he offers alastor the chance to team up, but that comes with the added caveat that alastor will have to start doing things voxs way, otherwise the plan wont work. hell have to give up the aesthetic and morals that make him "alastor".

how awful would that be - to be friends with someone who you truly enjoyed being with, without any sort of concern, only to have them so fundamentally misunderstand you as a person that all those years of closeness are spat back in your face? alastor, understandably, doesnt take this well at all, and venemously ends contact then and there. vox, also understandably, is angry and confused - alastor left him with little to no explanation as to why, and vox i dont think would understand why anyone wouldnt want to modernise eventually. vox may never have killed anyone, but hes in hell too - hes still his own brand of awful.

this eventually ties into alastor growing closer to zestial - i like to imagine that zestial has a soft spot for alastor (and potentially also sir pentious, who i like to imagine is the lowest-ranking overlord in hell) because, like him, he maintains pride in his origins and resists modernisation. zestial doesnt dislike vox (i dont think zestial outright dislikes anyone) and others of his ilk, but he doesnt really get why the afterlife should be associated with technological progress. but, thats a post for another time.

[yourchemicallyimbalancedromance]

The Time Will Come

Prompt: 17. “You’re shaking like a leaf, are you okay?” (Credit to @/dumplingsjinson for this idea that I found from their hurt/comfort prompt list which you can find here<3)

Summary: post WTIT, Logan goes to an unsuspected side to garner their help.

Ship: platonic analogical

CW/TW: anxiety

———————————————————————

Logan rose up in the anxious sides room, pad of paper still in hand, exhausted and aggravated.

Virgil hadn’t heard him come in, the music from his headphones preventing him from being able to hear much of anything. He was sketching on his bed and mumbling the words to the song he was listening to to himself. This was his way of coping through the unease that rippled its way through Thomas because of Remus’ actions.

Logan stood there, waiting for Virgil to notice him. He didn’t want to bother him but he didn’t really feel as if he had anyone else to go to. Roman was busy rehearsing lines for a play, Patton was free but he was just…too sentimental, and Remus and Janus? No. Absolutely not.

Virgil could feel someone looking at him and looked up, quickly jumping back. “GAH!” he removed his headphones and took a second to catch his breath. “Jesus fucking Christ, Logan, you could’ve said something.”

“Apologies. I was wondering if we could converse about something important” he said, setting his pad of paper on Virgil’s desk. His hands were shaking.

Virgil recognized this subtle action as something Logan only did when he was overwhelmed with emotion. It’s funny, In a sick way. Logan was the one who taught him and the rest of the sides that suppression wasn’t helpful, yet he continued to put on this emotionless persona daily.

“God, you’re shaking like a leaf, are…you okay?” He asked, concerned.

Logan shook his head, suddenly all of the thoughts in his head were jumbled, he couldn’t speak. “I— Thomas keeps— Remus—“ he tried on multiple different ways of starting his sentence before he couldn’t stand upright, the shaking getting worse, tears in his eyes. He felt embarrassed, this wasn’t how he wanted this to go.

Virgil rushed to his side and held him as he collapsed into his arms. “It’s okay, you’re okay, breathe.” He says warmly.

“he won’t listen to me.” He said, taking deep breaths and composing himself. He stopped shaking and sat on the edge of Virgil’s bed.

“Logan, you need to talk to him. Not only is this effecting you, but all of us. Pushing down how you feel does nothing but make it worse.” Virgil says. He didn’t want to be so brutally honest with him, but he had no choice, enough was enough.

“I am the Logical side, Virgil, not the anxious side. I’m fine. I’m more concerned with Thomas’ procrastination issue.” Logan responds

“Really? Because the borderline breakdown you just had speaks otherwise.” He retorts. He winced a little at how cutting his voice sounded.

“The house is a mess I just need him to—“

“The house is a mess because Thomas is, same thing for you. You have emotions, Logan. I’m sorry but you have to face it just like the rest of us. The house is one of the lowest things on my list of priorities right now. You need to talk to him.”

“Fine.” Logan replied half-heartedly.

———————————————————————

After his initial conversation with Virgil, Logan found Thomas sitting in the living room re-watching Parks and Recreation with Nico. It was his 17th time rewatching it and he kept pointing out his favorite parts while Nico laughed.

It had been a few hours since their venture downtown and Logan didn’t want to intrude on their date. Or more-so, he was afraid to.

Eventually Thomas walked into the kitchen where Logan was standing, sipping his coffee, going over the script in his head. He was at the part where he was explaining the issue to Thomas when present Thomas interrupted him.

“Hey, Logan im sorry about earlier, I promise I’ll get back on schedule soon.” He says

Logan gave him a stoic look. “Thomas, we need to talk about this. I think your procrastination levels are just growing increasingly more high by the day. Why is that?”

“I really don’t want to talk about this right now, I just wanted to let you know that I would, eventually, be getting back on—“

“Thomas, this is extremely important. I’m tired of you pushing me off to the side.” Logan interrupted him, flustered.

Thomas stared at him, shocked, a hurt look on his face. “I wasn’t trying to do that I just don’t want to—“

“Forget about it.” Logan says, cutting him off, watching Thomas’ face go from hurt to heartbroken. He couldn’t find it within himself to care, he was too tired, too maddened with Thomas’ apparent need to not listen to him.

He sinks back down into Virgil’s room, sitting on his bed, just as he was earlier.

Virgil looks up, and Logan doesn’t even have to say anything before Virgil just wraps his arms around him and holds him close. “He’ll listen soon. I promise. I know what it’s like to not feel heard.”

Logan nods and lets himself be held. Usually he’s not one for psychical touch, or any kind of show of affection for that matter, but he needed this. He really needed this.

“Thank you, Virgil.”

[hermanunworthy]

!DNDADS S2 EP41 SPOILERS!

hoooo boy im not gonna be able to listen to this episode normally after seeing the cast irl. im freaking out

- was the "part 1" in last eps title just a joke then? i thought it was gonna be a two parter

- ARE THEY SERIOUSLY GOING TO HEAVEN??? i thought shmegan said heaven isnt real. oh wait i just remembered brad said he went to heaven. hm. this will be interesting

- IF RON REALLY IS IN HEAVEN THAT MEANS HE GETS TO BE W ROGUE. HE. WAAAAA 😭

- okay time to actually start the episode

- the fact that they actually fell for anthonys trap is so adorable tbh THEY WERE SO EXCITED

- i love how they laughed over lincolns new intro AGAIN

- so funny how beth brings up that scary fact right after i wounded myself by cutting bread 😭 ur right beth. it is all about pain.

- i just realized scam pulled a mascot related scam. like father like sondaughter

- SCAMS SOLDIERS ARE THE CAST OF FAMILY GUY.

- LEVEL UP!! wonder what theyre gonna change

- SHES GONNA BE A BAD GIRL!!! :3

- "u gotta find ur own way, u gotta do it ur style, dood!" normals talking to dood the way he talks to hermie im gonna throw up

- HOLY SHIT WILL AND FREDDIE BRAIN CONNECTION AGAIN

- what a christian episode this is we got heaven AND santa claus

- WAIT DIDNT THEY ESTABLISH BEFORE THAT ST NICK IS NICKY

- WHY IS FUCKING SANTAS VOICE JUST HERMIE

- okay nvm its becoming more its own thing

- why does santa seem like another likely

- THE PETER THING HAS ME SCREAMING WTF IS THID PODCASTTT

- 20 minutes in no hermie yet (im insane)

- LINCOLNS NEW PERSONA IS KILLIBG ME DUDE

- HERMIE!!!!!!

- i have lost track of freddies garbage can plan shidjk

- guys swiftlis ship name is foot buddies now /j

- DID WILL JUST SAY "BREAD" INSTEAD OF BLOOD

- NOT ANOTHER LINCOLN VOICE CHANGE

- ANTHONY. AMERICAN DAD WORKS FOR THE GOVERNMENT.

- OUCH TERRY JR REMINDER

- STILL MAD THAT FREDDIE WASNT WEARING HEELS AT THE LIVE SHOW

- OH MY GOR NORMALS GOING OVER TO HERMIE OH MY GOD

- RON FUCKING STAMPLER!!!!!!

- ROGUE???? OH MY GODDDD

- ROGUE SOLOS EVERYONE

- THIS IS BETHS FUCKING SHOW NOW

- THEYRE ALL GONNA RIDE ON ROGUE AWWW

- WERE FINALLY GETTING SCARY AND RON INTERACTION

- HE FAKED HIS DEATH SO GOOD THAT HE DIED

- ERIN IS DEAD???

- TERRY JR TALKED TO RON ABOUT SCARY WHAT IF I CRIED

- SCARYS GONNA TELL HIM ABOUT TERRY JR. OH GOD. OH GOD I CANT DO THIS

- HE KNOWS. HE ALREADY KNOWS. IM GONNA CRY

- "im sorry that u dont realize that it is ur loss" OKAY YEP IM CRYING

- NOOOOO DOOD

- WHAT IS W BETH AND ALL THESE 11S

- HOLY SHIT NOT THEM DROPPING ALL THEIR SAD COPING MECHANISMS

- THE KIDDADS ARE ONLY JUST NOW REALIZING THAT THEY NEED TO BE BETTER PARENTS.

- LINCOLN STRAIGHT UP CALLING FOR GOD

- IF DOOD DRINKS THE POTION AND HAS MEMORIES OF SPARROW IM GOING TO FUCKING DIE

- THEYRE GONNA FIND THE REST OF THE GRANDDADS???

- SO WE FINALLY KNOW THEYRE STILL ALIVE. AT LONG LAST

[miiilowo]

How would you characterize Micheal throughout the years of his life?

i think shithead older brother plain an simple is the best way to start out. this can be hard to communicate if you did not grow up with two older brothers, but it is very simple:

objective as the youngest is to survive

theyre still nice sometimes but largely try to throw shit at your soft skull to try and dent it

jealous that the youngest sibling gets more attention/is praised more/etc

and i think thats pretty on the head for michael. i dont think he was ever TRULY trying to be actively super malicious, i just think he was an asshole teenage brother who thought making the little shit who got all the attention cry was funny if it meant he didnt get in trouble. definitely the 'im sorry hit me back hit me ill let you hit me if you dont tell dad please stop crying' type

when youre a teenager youre gonna have a lot of pent up emotions from a whole combination of things. a lot of them are gonna come from nowhere and youre gonna want to pin it on stuff, even if its not the actual cause. i think michael also probably did this and pinned any anger or inner turmoil he had on evan, regardless of if he actually had anything to do with it, because thats just like. standard 15-17 y/o behavior

after accidentally killing evan hes gonna be really fuckin upset. he was a dickhead, but he didn't want to kill anyone, that much is evident. theres two routes people typically take, which are "wow hes an unforgivable piece of shit" or "he's immediately amended of all sins and is nice now because he feels guilty". both of these are bad

he is a kid. an angry one at that. if an already angry kid kills their brother on accident, has guilt-induced nightmares about it, and probably hallucinates about it too? theyre not gonna get nicer, thats for damn sure!! i dont know if he could get MEANER, given the fact he has no targets, but i definitely think he'd get more snappy and probably a lot more paranoid. really a perfect storm to hallucinate even more (source: me) and then feel worse (source: me) and have it snowball (source: me)

gradually hes gonna get better. hes gonna learn to live with it. and i know for a DAMN fact this guy is funnysilly when hes an adult. constantly cracking jokes about his own demise, probably so thoroughly fed up with The Horrors that he reacts to shit like a letsplayer does. copes with everything via humor. best of all, thats backed up by the security logbook, making me the most objectively correct person on planet earth

i think when it comes to like. post-ennard mike, he'd probably lose some of that spark? you can only be so normal when youre a literal zombie shambling around. definitely would still retain the humor, but i think overall he'd be more grim. he's already died, he knows he cant live a normal life, and his only purpose is to kinda shut down everything his father started. thatll certainly weigh on the soul

[boabel]

aghh lily im so sorry i accidentally posted my incomplete anona fact things early and then had to delete it, so i have to do it here 😭

@persephoneprice i am so sorry 😭

also just a funny thing to mention, my earliest draft of anona's name was pippa ryenn, i then changed it because pippa was too close to pip, my other oc and ryenn was too on the nose with the grain theme 😭 but yeah u were definitely destined for anona to be ur fav bc her earliest name draft was also ur pippa's name 😭

anyway on to the actual ask:

- she is eighteen during her games, making her thirty five at the time of her death

- before her games, she's very outgoing and is friends with everyone

- she also swears off lying, since her father hates it

- her birthday is october eighth

- she is always haunting the narrative trust

- most of the stage plays she performed were written by her father, it was a hobby of his to write that he kind of gave up in favor of providing for anona

- her father calls her 'nona.

- during her interview for the games, she lies that "her ma is capitol-bred" and that her mother became a peacekeeper and was sent to nine, so she wins some favor in the capitol.

- she copes with the lying by telling herself it's just acting like back home, and her pa wouldn't be upset

- she says her father brews medicine for sick children in district nine, and that she has three loving siblings who wanted her home.

- when, in reality, anona is an only child whose mother (who was not capitol) died in childbirth.

- but anona doesn't like lying. she wishes she were braver and was able to accept it and "die an honest death instead of living a life of lies", but she loves her life more than anything, she loves her father and she loves her friends and she loves performing.

- that need to live outweighs the thought of dying with dignity and nobility.

- and anona's a great actress, for seventeen years people believe her story, and she's one of the most admired victors.

- but, deep down, anona starts hating her life more and more, something she never thought she would do, having to see the children she mentors die. she wants something to happen, she wants rebellion, though she has no idea how she can do it herself.

- she drifts away from her pa and her old friends, in shame and exhaustion

- now this is where it gets interesting:

- i mentioned that panlo had two younger brothers, one of which (jaz) goes on to be my oc thea's grandfather.

- well, panlo's other brother, garner, grew up with anona. he gets angry that she lied her way out of the games, while his brother died from being honest.

- after his brother's death, garner started to become more and more rebellious, and has a giant fallout with his other brother jaz over "what panlo would of wanted" (garner basically did the same sort of things billy taupe and spruce did, trying to sneak people out of prisons, and then the district itself)

- anona explains that she doesn't want to be lying, and she's doing it to keep her father, her friends and herself alive.

- garner, being a known rebel, explains what he's doing (after getting to know anona for a while, and realising that she's actually very trustworthy)

- garner and anona eventually work out a deal, anona will continue her act on the capitol, but use any money they give her to get supplies to help get people out of nine.

- their plan works smoothly for years, and anona and garner form a close bond.

- that is, until anona can't take it anymore, she sees people die everyday (especially since she started aiding rebellion, the peacekeepers got stricter in punishment)

- she gets drunk and openly speaks on her hate for the capitol, and for the first time in forever, she feels free again, she's no longer confined by a performance that she doesn't want to be a part of.

- she wakes up the next day and realises what she's done, and how she is going to be killed for it. and, after everything, she doesn't regret it. she gets garner and the other rebels to flee north (which they do).

- anona never thought she would die an honest death, but she does.

- she finally feels the same as she did when she was younger, before the games, onstage.

- she finally feels herself again, and if she has to die in the next hour in order to live her truth, so be it.

anyway that was a complete and utter lore dump i am so sorry, if i ever end up writing an anona-based fic i completely spoiled most of it 😭

thank u sm for the ask (sorry i accidentally deleted it) and im actually so happy that you like anona 💗

[elderwisp]

i spent the last hours reading tessellate from the start so i just wanted to drop a little love because eeeeeee i like it so much!!! first off all ur characters are a hit!! dynamic personalities, and they all mesh with one another really well in interesting ways. it all feels like a little peek into the lives of random people and sometimes that all you really need babey! i'm excited to see where you go with things especially with atlas, dan (my beloved), also the way that there are multiple storylines/ a large cast of characters yet i never feel overwhelmed <3333 and ofc visually, the post are lovely. the one juxtaposing frances and atlas coping...u know you ate with that. that last closeup with ares and dan with the lighter and frances's recital?? so pretty!! stapled in the brain.

on a less serious note, frances and icarus SAVE ME i like their dynamic so much their interactions seem very organic and fun. a friends to lovers (would they fall under that category..ik he's her boss but they're friendssss) for the ages. i feel like with a name like icarus things are destined to get messy between them and im afraid of it but also im not....but also i need only good things to happen to frances always, tu sabes. and its so funny that i finally read this after you mapped out their first kiss scene, bc i would not have survived the irl four years of building their relationship up godbless <3 also BEEE!!! sorry i just remembered i love bee and i hope she stands up to her boss at work one of these days (and gets whatever she wants for the rest of her life despite how inadvisable it may be at the moment :) )

hope this all isn't too weird, but i had thoughts to share and who better than with the author. tldr: your story brought me joy at 1:15 am and i appreciate it!! also everyone has such cool names??? what a slay. ty and take care <3

live footage of me reading this:

this seriously made my evening i think i reread this about ten times!! i honestly had to retype this message several times because just being able to receive commentary like this is everything. a lot of these characters have been with me for such a long time so to be able to share the little dudes livin their lives AND have people enjoy it??? AWESOME! a lot of the scenes you mentioned are also seared in my mind forever LMAO especially the scene between frances and atlas. i think the week i was gathering everything to shoot it, i completely scrapped the original and the parallels post was a complete spur of the moment thing but i'm glad it happened GAH i'm so excited to share more in the future <3 also with icarus and frances, they're actually my most difficult pair to write for simply because initially (in my ts3 days) icarus was supposed to be such a small part but they had such a good dynamic i had to expand that! so he's a fairly new character for me!

anyways thank you so much! i hope you have a great day! :D flowers is for u <3

[winwintea]

THE NEW CHAPTER ACCCSKKSKKSK DJEJJSJ DEJUN IS SO FUNNY <33 wait why are dejun and minghao beefing?

and the previous chapter too, does chenle have like trauma or something from yanan leaving him. like it’s the thing where the first child gets to escape first but the second child has to wait or something?

OKAY BUT ALL OF YOUR TEXTS ARE SO REAL LIKE THEY ALL SOUND LIKE REAL CONVERSATIONS. that’s something i really like when reading a smau, like the real feel of reading a conversation between a group of friends or a couple of friends… like u get it fr 🫡🫡

ALSO??? susususpernova??? fav aespa songs ??? go

-🍉

live laugh love dejun 💕

OKAY THE DEJUN MINGHAO BEEF IS KINDA SUBTLE RN BUT IT’LL BE RELEVANT LATER I PROMISE basically dejun is jealous and a little weird + both him and minghao like yuqi and yuqi only likes minghao back (?) maybe ??? we shall see

stop. STOP SKKSKWJDJS IM CRYING ANOANSNAK I HOPED NO INE WOULD ASK ME ABOUT THAT AKCKKKKCKCKKKCKCKKC OKAY I WAS LIKE HALF PROJECTING HALF TRAUAM DUMPING MYSELF SUIRNDG A THIS PAET I PROJEXTED ONTO CHENLE IM SORRY 😭😭😭

i have an older brother who’s smart and a nerd and he went to stanford (everyone say wow and clap bc he’s in debt and technically i could’ve gone but i make smart decisions and NOW I HAVE SLIGHTLY MORE MONEY) 💪💪 and i love him a lot. so much. but we came from a really broken family and since he graduated waaay before me he left like way before me, and so i was just left. by myself 😔 i don’t blame him i would lowkey do the same tbh, but it still hurts.

SORRY FOR TRAUMA DUMPING MY NAME IS Y/N L/N AND I COPE WITH HUMOR CAN YOU TELL ??????? 😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀

WAIT IM SO GLAD ABOUT THE PERSONAL FEEL. like i try to imagine i’m writing from my own group chats. usually i’m the dejun of the group and i get ignored 😔 but i also can be very serious sometimes so it depends. but usually i think about how like some people are on the same wavelength as each other and some people aren’t and those people really click so i try to imitate that here as well. 🫡🫡 idk if that makes sense i hope it does.

RANKING AHHHSHJSJ ?????

IDK RANKINGS BUT I REALKY LIKE

spicy, life’s too short, next level, drama, licorice, hold on tight, supernova and lucid dream atm from them it changes

[listening505]

nightcall | james hetfield

part7: "there's something inside you, it's hard to explain"

other parts

a/n: im sorry the more I translate the more I understand how cringe this is I was 15 or something when I wrote this

Oh, James, it was like you had a hot iron in your hand and you were just playing with my heart.

~

For several months, our relationship had reached such a point that neither of us could predict where it would end. We were just getting on with this thing. We were together. At least physically we were, but it was in front of our eyes that our minds and souls had long abandoned each other.

We opened our cards, James. Mine were not a surprise; you already knew that I was desperately in love with you and that my doors were always open to you, no matter what the circumstances. But you were full of surprises for me. You always have been, darling. You always used to surprise me and tell me how cute you found that funny expression on my face got. Time was passing, but some things never changed, and these surprises of yours were one of them. You left my mouth wide open in amazement again, James, but this time you didn't have very good news.

It was really surprising for me to find out that you started a regular relationship with one of those women you sleep with. Right after I saw a second cell phone you were using and all those conversations in it, I felt like the world was falling on me. I'm not kidding. The whole earth and heaven, even as God is my witness, I felt all that pain to the very depths of my body.

I could have accepted anything; I even accepted that you were with other women, but how could I allow you to share the love you feel for me with another woman? How would my poor mind cope with this? No, it couldn't.

I was losing my mind, James.

I'm wondering, why didn't you just take a gun and put it to my head and save me from all this torture? It wouldn't even matter, because I don't feel like I've been alive for a long time anyway. Every breath I take is from a barbed wire piercing my throat; every day I live is no more than twenty-four hours that I spend trying to reach the end as soon as possible.

I think I'll never forget it, James, you made dinner for us that night. We were chatting and laughing, taking sips in a hurry as if we were racing to finish the bottle of wine in front of us. That evening our heads flew so high that we almost felt like in the old days. I almost thought that you loved me unconditionally again, that you loved only, only me. What a childish, what desperate phrase, isn't it ?

When you turned on the radio after dinner and asked me to dance, and only five minutes later we found ourselves on the couch laughing, I wanted to die because in the morning all the colors would fade away, and the dark days would line up again to beat us. If I had died there at that moment, James... I wish God had taken pity on me a little at that moment and I wouldn't have been able to witness the sunrise the next day.Time was flowing fast like the wine down our throats, James. But it seemed as if everything was in a hurry that night, more than usual. Could we have gone back to those crazy days when we were eighteen? Because you know, how many mistakes we made when we were eighteen. How much trouble we've been in.

We went back to being eighteen that night and we made a huge mistake.