#it's so easy today to find things that might trigger us
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resident-sean-expert · 1 year ago
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I'm tired of people hating on wwdits fr
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teenagefeeling · 3 months ago
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"social skills are something you can work on learning and it will help with social anxiety!" this is true, but are you saying it because you want to help or are you saying it to shame people? because not everyone is gonna always have amazing social skills, even people who don't normally struggle have bad days. holding people to such a high standard and expecting everyone to be able to be at 100% all the time not only isn't fair, but imo isn't a healthy mindset because you're also putting that pressure on yourself.
yes, social skills can be learned. but for a lot of us, they're really hard to learn and even harder to put into practice. sometimes when someone has poor social skills it's not just because they don't know any better, there are other factors at play making things more difficult. i think we should all learn to be a little more patient with each other and get comfortable with the idea that different people might have different methods of communication, and sometimes you're gonna have to be the one who adjusts for someone else (whether that involves learning stronger social skills or being patient with someone who isn't there yet)
communication is hard to get right, and it's impossible for anyone to get it right all the time. it's okay if you stutter while speaking or can't ask for ketchup at a restaurant or whatever. it's okay. you will get there with practice. not being able to do it overnight is okay. it's a long process to get comfortable with these things. not everyone is always going to be patient with you, but that's their problem, not yours. be proud of yourself for the small victories and don't let demanding assholes online convince you that you aren't good enough as you are.
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kaysungshine · 3 months ago
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𝓛𝓸𝓯𝓲 𝓛𝓾𝓼𝓽 ♡
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{ Pairing } - Producer.bf!Jisung x afab.gf!reader
{ Genre } - NSFW; s/f/d(dark)*, PWP, established relationship
{ Synopsis } - Your boyfriend doesn't know any other method of stress relief, other than creating music. He can get so consumed by it, it can become the stressor. So you decide to present him with a new method. That's how you found yourself walking down the street in nothing but lingerie and a long coat.
{ WC } - 2.9k
{ Warnings & Tags } - 18+ MDNI, *forced orgasm/slight dubcon if you squint, everything is consensual but there is begging for more when reader might be at her limit so that's why I'm including dubcon (for those who may find it triggering)*, use of pet names (baby, angel, mine, my love, good girl & Ji), very lowkey needy/soft dom & romantic sub dynamic, worshipping reader, oral (f. recieving), squirting, overstimulation, unprotected piv (do as I say & not as I write, pee after sex too!), creampie, cum feeding & eating, fingers in mouth, pussy worship, I may just have gotten carried away with oral fixations okay? FORGIVE ME.
{ Disclaimer } - This work is in no way associated or depicting the actual life of the members of SKZ. It is a fictional piece of work, and I do not own Stray Kids. All works of fiction are loosely inspired by SKZ, and in no way am I saying it is true to their character.
{ A/N } - I originally was going to post a Hyunjin oneshot next, but I wanted to finish this one in time for Jiji's birthday! It's 2 am on the 14th where I am heheh. Hopefully you all like it. Han producing music will always be hot asf for me personally lmao. Barely proofread.
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The air was cool, seeping underneath your long wool coat. In any other circumstance, on a late fall night, the coat would be enough to keep the chill out. Today however, it wouldn't. But you still kept walking, determined to make it to Jisungs studio. 
You focused on the clicking of the heels on the boots you wore. And the sound of the wind picking up, signalling a blustery night ahead. The small sounds calm your nerves. 
You were anxious about Jisung's reaction, he was in one of his moods again. You understand, you truly do. Juggling everything he has to on his plate, it was no easy feat. There were times he'd just let that dark veil take over, and shut everyone out without even meaning to. 
You knew he was in that state again when you hadn't seen or heard from him in three days. It wasn't for lack of effort on your end either. Every phone call sent to voicemail, every text sent by you was met with the same response;
'At the studio, I'll text you after, angel'.
You knew it was time for intervention when Chan texted you that he was only coming home, at 2 in the morning no less, to shower and change. No eating, no resting, just back to the studio afterwards.
This had happened twice before in the almost year you've been dating. Each time you remember talking with him afterwards, he always said the same thing;
'making music is my stress relief.'
That may be true, but it doesn't change the fact that he is also a workaholic. One who easily gets lost in the creative space he has built a career off of. And once that diligence sets in, it's hard to shake off. 
So here you are, ready to try a new approach. Ready to offer a new kind of relief. An alternative. 
You and Jisungs sex life was far from boring. Far from infrequent, you'd say too. But it surely was more... monotonous. You'd never complain about it, and neither would he. There was nothing wrong with it. It just happened at the 'perfect' times in your relationship. 
Before bed, after date nights, on monthly anniversaries, to express massive amounts of love, etc. 
It was never to celebrate happiness, calm anger, or comfort sadness. Never to relieve stress. 
You were determined to change that. There was no reason you could not help him in any way you could. And in this aspect, you knew you could. 
Still, you were nervous. This would be new, he never did well with new. 
Your footsteps stopped, leaving only the sound of the wind in your ears. Until you pressed your badge against the card reader, listening to the beeps, to the gears unlock. 
Once inside the lobby, the clinking of your heels against the vinyl tile filled your ears. Each step matches the thumping in your heart, you find yourself speed walking.
 You smiled and gave a little wave to the staff in the lobby, and they returned it. 
In the elevator, the sound of its melodic music filled your ears next. The whirring background noise the machinery made, stopped, as you reached your desired floor. 
There was silence when you stepped off. The flooring is carpeted now, and soundproof rooms lined the hallway leaving the night quiet. 
You took a deep breath and made your way to the door you knew was your boyfriend's. It was unlocked, thankfully. 
You let yourself in, seeing the silhouette of your boyfriends back facing the door in the blue lighting. 
He was all about ambiance in this facet of life, having LED's lining the ceiling. The only source of light in the room, besides the glowing screens of his monitors. 
He was sat in his chair, headphones on, hood up, head nodding in tandem with his fingers tapping. 
You took the opportunity to slide your boots off. Opting to keep your coat on, you brushed your hair over one shoulder. You took your badge from around your neck, and tossed it on the leather couch that was against the wall. 
Padding your way over to him, you place your hand on his shoulder lightly. He tenses under your touch, and turns his head. He's frowning when he first faces you, eyebrow furrowed together. 
When he sees you though, he softens. The corners of his mouth slightly upturning to a small smile. 
"Baby..." He whispers, sliding his head phones off. Soft lofi music is filling the room from them. 
He grabs your hand off his shoulder, bringing it to his lips. He's pressing soft kisses to your palm, and placing it on his cheek. 
"It's late my angel, why are you here?" He says in a husky voice with more volume. 
Your heart flutters at his gentleness, and you bend down to press your own lips to the top of his head. A musky, yet spicy vanilla scent fills your nostrils. His scent. 
"I'm here to help you baby." You murmur to him softly. 
That caught his attention. He fully swivelled around to face you, taking both of your hands in his. He gazed up into your eyes, a curious look on his face. 
You smiled down on him, feeling nothing but love for this man. You'd relax him in any way you can. You placed a hand on each side of his face, bending down again. No more words were said as you kissed him. As your hands slid down his neck, his found themselves on yours, pulling you closer to him. Matching your eagerness.
You let your hands fully slide off him, and tilted your head to deepen the kiss. Your trembling fingers were working the buttons on your coat. One by one, releasing the fabric from your bare skin. 
You stood up, letting the coat fall from your shoulders.
Jisung lets out a soft gasp, and licks his lips. 
Exposed to him, was his favorite lingerie you owned. It was a bra and panty set, satin and lace. Revealing. 
All white. 
Your boyfriends favorite part. He always said that the contrast against your melanated skin was a work of art. He joked about commissioning Hyunjin, if he didn't have to see you essentially naked.
So here you stood before him, presenting yourself to him. Silently willing him to do as he pleases. To take your body and use you to decompress. You were too nervous to say it.
He traces the swell of your breast with a finger, curving around the delicate lace. It's a simple touch, but it still sends a shiver down your spine. Goosebumps blooming on your skin. 
"So sexy." He mumbles, eyes roving your whole body. 
He stands up, kissing you desperately, and walking you back to the couch. Your knees hit the back of it, and you're forced to sit. Lips ripping away from his, panting at the desire in his eyes. 
All your nerves were gone. New or not, it would never change the fact that Jisung craved you as much as you craved him. 
He held himself up with his hands on the back of the couch, and hovered above you for a moment looking you in the eyes. 
Then he was sinking to the ground, on his knees, between your legs. His hands smooth over your thighs, making them pliant with soft kisses, before he spreads them open. Your pussy is glistening behind the lace, and he licks his lips again. 
His hand glides from your thigh, to your heat. Thumb brushing against that sensitive bud, the friction eliciting a whine from you. 
His eyes snap up to you, and he holds your gaze as his tongue licks a stripe up your clothed core. The tip of it flicking deliciously against your sensitive clit. 
"Mmmm..." He groaned at the taste of you, "All for me?"
You moan at his tongue swiping against you again, and again, "All for you, my love." 
His fingers hook underneath the band of your underwear, and he peels them off you. He's whimpering, watching as strings of your arousal stick to them. The cool air is hitting your sex, before puffs of hot air from his mouth is. And you're shivering again at the sensation. 
A gasp escapes you when his tongue slides between your folds. Lapping up your juices, and suckling at that bundle of nerves. You listen to the wet sounds his mouth is making against you, along with the broken melody coming from his head set. You get lost in it. 
Your hand finds his hair, and you're grinding against his mouth. He's whimpering and moaning with you, one hand palming at his bulge. The other has fingers teasing your entrance. 
You let out a loud moan when two fingers push into you, and your grasp on his hair loosens. He takes the opportunity to get air, panting, mouth hanging open. His cheeks, chin and lips all shine in the dull blue light. 
His fingers continue to pump into you as he watches your face contort for him. He's smiling with lidded eyes, basking in the fact that he's making you feel so good. 
"Ji..." You moan, needing more.
"My beautiful baby, let me worship you a little longer." And he's diving back down.
His tongue focuses on your clit, and fingers coaxing that gummy spot inside you. He's pulling moan after moan from you, making out with your lower lips, bringing you closer to the edge. Your thighs start trembling around his head, and he has to grip the fleshy part of one of them to stop you from squeezing him before he's finished. 
You're spilling over the edge, body alight and your release coating his fingers, and face. He's lapping up every little bit, determined to taste your pleasure on his tongue. Only when you start to whine from constant overstimulation does he stop. 
He's kissing his way up to your lips, leaving a wet trail behind him that you couldn't bring yourself to care about. 
You're not sure when he managed to discard his pants and boxers, but you feel his hard, bare length pressing against your inner thigh. 
He's rubbing his member against your pussy now, letting your slick and his saliva cover him. Kissing your neck as he's rocking against you, he whispers, "Angel, do you have another one for me?"
Of course you did, you knew you did. You needed to feel him, you needed to please him. So you started nodding fervently, eyes rolling in the back of your head when he sucked lightly near your ear and jaw. 
He had a grasp of his cock now, dragging the head through your folds with added pressure. Each squelch of your juices sounds like music to your ears, anticipation building in your body.
"'Gonna make you feel s'good." He's whining into your neck. 
He has your legs around him now, as he fills you slowly, both of you savoring the sensations it brings. Your pussy spasms around him, and it has him grunting. 
"Always feel so good squeezin' me..." He mumbled, letting you adjust, "...exactly what I needed..." 
Then he was pumping into you, and you felt it. All the frustrations he was holding onto, all the stress, all the vexation. He was translating it into the energy he used to pleasure you. Letting go of it all. 
You couldn't hear the soft lofi music coming from his head set anymore, instead the slapping of skin and heavy breathing mixed with moans were filling the room. You'd never be more thankful for a soundproof space. Neither of you were holding back. 
Your moans only being interrupted by quiet curses, and his being peppered in between praises of how good you feel for him. He made it known he was chasing your high before his, begging you to cum for him. 
"Please angel," he whispers against your lips, "need to feel you cumming on my cock."
His pace became quicker as he kissed you, and his hand slithered down to play with your clit. Your back arched off the couch at that, angling him deeper inside you. He groaned, and his thrusts faltered for a second indicating he was close. 
Regardless he was determined to finish you, and his tone grew more demanding, "Be a good girl... cum for me, angel."
And that was all your body and mind needed to let go, legs locking around him and body shaking. Your hands slid under his hoodie, and nails dug into his back. It was the kind of intense orgasm, that your moan got stuck in your throat, instead a rough growl coming out. 
You sounded absolutely feral for him, and you were. 
That was what pushed him over the edge, a slew of curses leaving his mouth as his hips stuttered. With a final harsh thrust, he cums deep inside you. All of the negativity has dispersed from his body, and he collapsed back to his knees. 
You're both panting, trying to catch your breath. You jolt when you feel his fingers in your folds, over sensitivity taking over yet again. He's spreading you open, hypnotized by the way his cum is drooling out of you. 
"So perfect, fuck." He says as he drags his finger through it. 
He's bringing it up to your lips, and your mouth opens instinctively. You're sucking his finger into your mouth, his essence salty but familiar on your tongue. 
His eyes are locked to yours as you work his finger, licking it clean. He slips a second finger in your mouth, letting you cover them in your saliva before he dips back down for a taste himself. 
You're whining around his fingers when his tongue glides against your clit, and your hips try to retract into the couch. Quickly, he has both hands on your hips, securing you in place so he can continue tasting you. 
"We taste so good together, my love..." He's mumbling against you. 
His words will never fail to coax submission out of you.
Your hand flies back to his hair, as good as it feels you're trying to pull him away. He's just burying his face deeper, tongue dipping into your entrance to make sure he's tasting everything. 
"Ji... s'too much... I can't-" You're pleading, even though you feel yourself succumbing to the overwhelming brushes of his tongue.
He hisses when you finally succeed in pulling him off you, "Please angel," He's begging again, "Just one more. I know you have one more for me." 
"Fuck, Ji, I-" 
He silences you with his tongue flat against you, another lick up to your clit "Please, need to hear you cumming one more time for me." He whines and starts leaving sloppy, wet kisses on your pussy. 
You always knew he was more of a giver. That even though it was you who had cum twice, and he only once. He preferred it that way. Even if he was the one needing the release more, he thrived more on your pleasure.
"Just be gentl-" You try to say, but cut yourself off with a groan. 
He's eagerly slurping at your core. Lost in the moment, all he has is your pussy on his mind now. Messily licking and lapping at every inch. He's shaking his head and moaning into it, keeping you pinned in place by your hips. 
You feel another orgasm starting to build quickly, clenching around nothing. He risks you bucking your hips roughly into his face, and takes a hand off your hip. He's pushing two fingers into you yet again, and you're seeing stars. 
His fingers curl, and his lips close around your clit, sucking lightly. You feel your release slip away from you, and your cumming on his face again. Yelling his name. He only grows more determined.
He leans back so he can watch the beautiful, writhing, mess he reduced you to. The thumb of his other hand is replacing his mouth, continuously flicking your bud. He doesn't slow his movements as you ride out your orgasm, instead picking them up. 
Your world turns white, and you feel yourself squirt on his hands. He's watching you in awe, whispering more praise for you as your juices spray over him. 
"So fucking sexy, my good girl."
"That's it, let go for me, let it all go."
"Knew you had one more in you, all for me."
"My perfect angel."
It's when you start to slip into that floaty space that he finally stops. He doesn't want you too gone, he's limited in the care he can provide here.
He's positioning you to lay on the couch, and he's laying behind you. You're both wet and sticky, and heaving for air. Yet, it's blissful. 
You lay there for what could've been minutes or an hour, you weren't sure. You were content in each other's touch. Your arm reaches back to caress his head, fingers combing through his hair. He's humming. 
"I love you." You finally murmur. 
"I love you more, angel. Thank you for this." He says, and kisses your shoulder. 
"You caught on quickly to my idea." You giggled.
He laughed with you, "I caught on halfway through it, actually. I was just beside myself with desire for you." 
You blushed at that, and you were thankful he couldn't see it. 
"I mean you showed up in my favorite set..." He whispers and starts toying with the lace on your bra, his finger slipping underneath to flick your nipple, "In ONLY my favorite set. How could I not show you how much I admire you." 
You felt his length harden against you again, and he rolled his hips slowly as he gripped your hip. 
You knew the night was far from over. 
As for how you were both going to escape and clean up? Well that was a problem for future you. 
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ghostbustting · 6 months ago
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vampire!Nikki sixx x reader smut where Nikki is just fucking the daylights out of her and won't stop commenting on her heart rate (superhearing) like the smug man he is.
Sorry if you don't write stuff like this feel free to reject, I just thought this sounded hot.
Love you 🩵
don't usually write stuffs like this, but hope I did well !! :")
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╰┈➤“𝑪𝑶𝑳𝑫 𝑩𝑳𝑶𝑶𝑫𝑬𝑫„ ๋࣭⭑
Vampire!Nikki Sixx x Reader
Contains Smut and Blood.
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The moment I stepped out into the city late at night like this, I knew it might mean trouble. Los Angeles was wild. Too wild, perhaps. You’d see people driving in cars and blasting music loudly, people partying here and there, even some fights. But here I am, only trying to make my way back home from work.
My steps weren’t calm, yet weren’t so fast either. I would’ve chosen a taxi. But I wasn’t taking the chance of getting into a taxi with a creep again. However, was walking any better?
Surely not.
The road was crowded, sure. But not every one of them would seem to give a fuck if a woman was approached by creeps, no matter how obvious a scene is going on, some of them would most likely just avoid the scene in order to ‘protect’ themselves.
Hence, I take shortcuts along my way home. Not saying it’s any safer, but it would be useful if any sketchy dudes with big hairs, leather jackets, and tattoos were going your way.
I walk into the alleyway, the lights of L.A that were always so bright, turned dim and flickering in this area. Puddles of god knows what liquid were everywhere, I had to do my best to avoid them. Which is why, black shoe soles were better in this case, hiding what would be a fucking dirty sole.
However, my steps stops when I see a figure ahead of me. His body tall, dyed black hair big and long enough to hide the back of his neck, he was dressed in black, big boots and gloves covering what would be his slender fingers.
Another thing about the Los Angeles, is that not every corner of The City of Angels was always filled with angels.
Some of the Angelenos tends to stay in the dark late at night, blending perfectly well into the shadows like a camouflage and lurking slowly behind you, catching you off guard the moment you notice them and their demeanor.
Their cold skin seems to look pale by nighttime, teeth pointy if you got the chance to see them talk, often longing for blood, their eyes always as sharp as a razor, cutting through the person’s head each time they were gazed at.
Not a single heart beat would manage to escape their ears that can hear thousands and thousands of noises all at once. But if you run, you stand no chance as they move deadly fast.
I gulped and slowly take a step back, trying not to make any triggering sound. Yet the puddle my shoe just happen to step on betrays me, making a small noise yet loud enough for him to hear.
His body turned around, his greyish green eyes meeting mine in an instant, the way he holds his eye contacts never failed to make my heart thumps loudly, which I hated, knowing he can hear them with such ease. His presence always had it’s way to seduce me, it takes a lot in me to hold back the secret desire in me to feel him.
I’ve encountered Nikki Sixx a couple times before, sometimes when he’s playing with his band, sometimes in situations like this, often finding it easy to avoid him and the troubles he’d surely bring towards my way, even though he never went too far over flirting. But seems like today just wasn’t my luck as he immediately went to me and pinned me up against the alley’s wall.
My breath hitched as I look up at him, a small grin on his lips now, his sharp teeth just slightly peeking out. “Got you now..” He murmured, the proximity between us making me able to take a sniff of his intoxicating cologne, the scent filling my nostrils as if I just walked into a fragrance boutique.
“..I’m just trying to go home..” I say sternly in order to make my statement crystal clear to him. I try to keep my eyes on his, trying to make him think I’m not scared. Which, I am, partially that is. In a way, I don’t think he’d hurt me. The thing he does might be very unexpected, but one thing about him is that his true desires are visible right in those eyes of his like a window to his heart.
Nikki chuckled, rolling his eyes as he lean down close to my ears, his cold breath meeting right against my skin, sending shivers up my spine as I stiffen up. “Then why don’t you let me take you home?” His hands slowly make their way towards my hips.
I froze and clear my throat before trying to speak again, “I don’t—”
But before I knew it, he cut my words of protest off as he lifted me up and threw me over his shoulder before he start run.. really fast. I yelp and hold onto his head tightly, grasping onto his hair. “What the fuck, Sixx?!?” I screamed, punching his shoulder over and over again as if it’d stop him.
The not so humanlike speed he had in his run made my heart beat fast, afraid of falling off, even though the firm hold he have on my hips are supposed to be enough to keep from falling. “Slow down! Fuck!” I protest, holding onto him for dear life and closing my eyes.
“Oh you’ll scream that again later!” He laughed like a maniac. I blush when I realize what he meant, smacking his shoulder again in response. I can’t tell whether to be flustered or feel the need to kill him, thought the possibility of the latter seems very very impossible.
Next thing I knew, we came into a stop.
Slowly, my eyes starts to flutter open while Nikki lay me down on my bed.. I flinch and look around, shocked to find us in my bedroom in a flash of light. It felt like only 5 seconds ago we were still in that nasty empty alleyway.
“How the fuck—"
I was cut off yet again when Nikki made his way on top of me on the bed, he was hovering over my figure with that same devilish grin he wore the whole time.
My breath got stuck in the middle of my throat as he towers over my body and took the back of one of his hand to caress my cheek. “Don’t be afraid, I don’t bite.” He whisper, then he paused before chuckling to himself, his sharp fangs being shown even more clearly now. “Well woops, that one’s a lie.”
Though I tried so hard to act like he doesn’t intimidate me one bit. Yet of course, my heart beat was too easy for him to detect and use as a proof of my intimidation, along with the heavy breaths I let out, each noise his ears catches making his grin even wider and devilish.
The eyeliner around his eye made the color of his eyes even more lighter and intriguing, those green eyes of his so majestic with the moonlight that peeks from my window shining his way, illuminating and spotlighting every single features that face of his owns.
Each blink my eyes made, they open to a different vision of him, each new vision, another new breathtaking features of his takes ahold of my attention while he continued to grin down at my statue-like state.
“Let me have you..” His voice echoes in my mind, like a sweet seduction for me to open up my heart, to let my desire take over my body just like the way his own desire take over his body. “I’ll take.. very good.. care of you..”
When his face leaned down even more, my eyes slowly flutter close on it’s own, acting as a permission for him to take an act.
Next thing I know, his hands clawed on my clothes and rip them apart with his strong bare hands, meanwhile his lips immediately move to mine, his kiss already passionate and rough from the moment our lips touched, his movements driven by lust and a burning flame in him.
I always knew no matter how wild this man can be, there are always much more deeper and wilder layers to unfold within him. And that is exactly what I’m doing right now.
Something in me myself burned, as if he shared that flame with me through our locked lips. My hands tugged on his hair while small gasps leaves me when my body became fully exposed within minutes, the fabrics that once covered my body were thrown away, his cold hands roaming over my warm body, the difference between our body temperature only making things even more intense.
Suddenly, I feel his fangs sink into my bottom lip, wincing when he licked up the blood that leaks from my lip and pull back from me, smirking as he starts to undress himself.
“Nikki..” I softly whisper, squirming on the cold sheets.
His finger then meets my lips, sushing me while he slowly take off his clothes.
With each fabric removed, more of his pale skin reveals itself, seducing me to touch him. His clothes were thrown to the floor, joining my own pile of ripped up clothes. I watch his body silently, the tattoos he had on his arms, the way his chest rise and fall, the happy trail leading down to his hard cock.
Then back up to the grin on his face as he slowly spread my legs apart. He was so tempting, his hands as cold as ice while he touch me with such lust in his eyes.
With his cock in his hand, he lead it to my cunt and slipped it in with such ease, almost immediately taking control over my hips and thrusting in and out of me with a surreal speed.
I gasp and grasp onto the sheets around me, squirming at the feeling of his cock filling every spot in me, the pleasure building up inside of me and pushing out dirty noises from my lips, the noises that only made him grin even more, his fangs showing much clearly.
His thrusts were incredibly fast, too fast to the point I can’t even keep up any more with it, yet it haven’t even been 5 minutes since he’s been inside me. My eyes were already rolling to the back of my head, my lips apart as I moaned out his name.
“Nikki..! Fuck..! Slow down..!”
“Feel good huh?!” He laughed a sinister laugh that fills my ears.
“So good..!” I nodded and pant for breath, desperate to have control of myself again. But this man above me was way stronger and powerful than I am, he knew way too much how to please me, or rather please himself.
His cock continued to thrust in and out of my tight hole, our skin meeting each other each time he thrusts, creating a loud slapping noise that harmonize along with my moans and his groans.
I could tell that he was losing control over himself, his head thrown back and he was letting out the loudest groan ever before he lean down and bury his face in my neck.
I thought nothing of it until I feel those sharp fangs strikes blood again, this time on my neck while he suck on the blood desperately, tasting me. I wince and held onto his back, tears building up in my hazy eyes.
Another sinister laugh leave his lips as he connects his lips to mine, making me taste my own blood on his tongue.
One of his hand that was previously on my hips trails up to my chest, his fingernails lightly caressing over the skin of my chest, making me arch my back and yearn for more of his touch.
“Your heart.. it’s beating very loud..” I can practically hear the grin in his voice as his nails gently press against my skin, making me think his nails are going to sink into my skin and steal my heart that is uncontrollably pounding very fast and loud. “I bet it’s for me, hmm? No man can give you this much pleasure, yes?”
The feeling of his cock continuously hitting that special spot in me made it hard for me to even utter out a single letter.
“Answer me!”
“YES!!”
I moaned out, my fingernails creating a big scratch mark down his back, making him groan and laugh once more before accelerating his thrusts. “What a slut.. your little heart’s practically beating out of your chest.. and it’s all for me.. your heart’s all mine..”
The tension behind his voice and choice of words only made the pleasure more unbearable, my toes curling as my legs shake, his hands still taking full control of my hips. “Yes! Yes!” I continued to pant out, not even able to breathe correctly.
Suddenly, I can feel my walls close up around his member, squeezing him in as I feel a strong knot on my stomach, my eyes wide and filled with tears that now stains my cheeks. “I need to cum.. please please let me..” I beg, half sobbing.
“Let go, baby.” He then held my legs up and place them on his shoulders, pausing before he thrusts even faster now.
Screams escapes my mouth as his faster thrusts pulls out the strongest release from me ever, my back arching off the sheets beneath me while his hips’ movement slowly falters as he fills me up with his seeds, shooting in white streaks all around my hole before pulling out.
As I try to take control of my breathing, his body plopped onto the spot beside me, pulling me close to his chest. “Told you I’d take care of you..” He panted out with that same grin never leaving his face.
I scoffed out a chuckle and rest my head on his chest, still panting. “What.. Whatever..”
He was breathing heavily, his chest rising up and down just like mine is, though I did not hear a single heart beat the whole time I rest on his chest.
But I suppose that’s just what he is.
A cold-blooded creature with a once dead heart that’s been brought back to live.
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nayatarot777 · 2 years ago
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{what do they find attractive about you?} • pac
pick a cher pic 🫶🏾
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• pile one •
cards:
6 of swords
king of wands
the tower
3 of swords
the first thing that their higher self is coming through to mention is your voice. they find it extremely soothing, “like a brain massage” i’m hearing 😂. they also like how you seem to be able to find your way to peace and balance - especially mentally. i’m hearing “you seem to be so far ahead”. perhaps you’re achieving things in your life that most people your age haven’t yet. or you carry the demeanour of someone who has achieved a certain level of success. they find your forward-thinking nature extremely attractive. some of you have been around children around this person too, and they love how protective you are over young people. i’m seeing that they find it attractive when you soothe a child, or when you know what to say or do to calm a baby. that’s cute ☺️. in contrast, your assertiveness also does something to them. they like feeling lead by you. there’s also something flamboyant about you - if not your fashion sense then something about your personality. you seem to gain attention without even trying like that. i’m hearing “i want what i want”. when you demand things from them, it gets them a lil hot and bothered 👀😂 they feel like you don’t take a “no” from anyone very easily, and they love how you can trail-blaze through life and get what you want. there’s also something about your hair that attracts attention too. it could be big, fluffy, an afro, or a striking colour (like red). you just naturally stand out and they love it. you could have gained all of this assertiveness due to some really fucked up things happening in your life. you had to gain your strength and independence for yourself through so much pain and so many traumatic events. but your person admires how you’ve transformed your pain into power.
• pile two •
cards:
3 of wands
death
king of wands
this person finds your ambition to be one of your most attractive traits. you could be the type of person who’s constantly moving onto the next opportunity in your life, or taking risks and chances for the sake of self development. if you wear any headscarves or head-wraps, that’s also attractive to this person. and also if you have ginger hair. i’m hearing that it’s because these things aren’t commonly seen by this person. you guys could be from different races, cultures, or ethnicities to each other. i’m also seeing that whenever you want to do anything new and you take baby-steps towards learning something (like a skill), they enjoy seeing the way that you handle the process. and it seems like you naturally attract a lot of opportunities into your life for yourself too. i’m hearing “go getter”. they also love how multifaceted you are. they realise that they discover new layers of you every-time they see you or speak to you. they notice something different. they might also know about some really heavy transformations that you had to go through, and how you had to reinvent yourself. there’s also a message about knowing how to leave something that’s stagnant behind you for the sake of moving forward. it also seems like you’re very intense. they like how you’re not afraid to go deep, peel back layers to people’s personalities by asking questions - even if they sound a bit invasive at times. or you could do this with them in particular. you seem very bold and courageous. like you don’t really hold much fear in your decisions to dive deep with people or things. you also have a lot of self-confidence. this person might be able to tell that you’ve had to climb out of the gutter to become the person who you are today, and it wasn’t easy. therefore, you have a level of pride within yourself. that may be the thing that they’re not used to seeing in people. and they really like it, although it is triggering to them because it makes their ego feel threatened. it makes them recognise things about themselves that they never did before.
• pile three •
cards:
judgement
10 of swords
the hierophant
your person loves how much knowledge you have. you could be well-learned or well-cultured. just aware of what’s going on in the world, and they find your intelligence extremely attractive. especially related to anything about philosophy or spirituality. anything related to the expansion of the human mind. this could be an interest in psychology too. i’m also seeing your pleasure-seeking being extremely attractive to them. you guys give me sagittarius/jupiter energy. they feel like the way that you seek to create and mould your life into what you want it to be is extremely attractive. it’s like you’re constantly on journeys where you discover new layers of life, and when you share that with them and expand their mind, they can’t help but feel a type of way 😂. your person may have also seen you become aware of people who wanted to backstab you, or people who gossiped about you behind your back. there’s something about your intelligence related to being able to see other people’s negative intentions and betrayals as clearly as possible. also when you shut down a conversation with your knowledge or what you know. they live for that lmaoo. a lot of you are also very much in control of your life. you’re your own authority and you could reject a lot of the traditional responsibilities of life that society tries to push onto all of us. a lot of you in this pile also talk a lot about the beliefs that you hold in which the government is secretly trying to “harm” us - to put it lightly 🙃 - and your person finds that extremely fascinating. it’s like you can see above the conditionings and surface-level explanations for things that are presented to society. you’re definitely a free-thinker.
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dreamsontheirway · 2 years ago
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Ain't Easy | J.M.
Summary: in which you have an asthma attack, but JJ is there to help you. Warnings: description of asthma attack Word Length: 1.4k Abbreviations: Y/N = your name, Y/N/N = your nickname
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You had suffered with asthma for as long as you could remember, but it was mostly manageable at this point in your life. You had a couple inhalers that you carried around when you remembered, but you rarely had to use them anymore.
JJ had witnessed you have an asthma attack only once before. It was when you were running away from Rafe and the physical exertion had gotten to you. Luckily, you two were able to hide out of view and you pointed towards your backpack, guiding JJ to place the inhaler against your lips. He had been frantic, his eyes wide and terrified. After you caught your breath again, you reassured him that you were alright. He insisted that you teach him what to do if, god forbid, this happened again. You had taught him the basics, and he listened intently with caring blue eyes.
This was several months ago, and you had yet to have another one since. One thing many people don’t know about asthma, is that it can be caused by many things other than physical exertion. Asthma attacks can be triggered by allergies, pollen, dry air, humidity, and even storms.
Unfortunately for you, the others had chosen a very humid day for a much needed, relaxing boat trip. Relaxation was the goal, at least, but this humidity was making it difficult. You felt like you were trying to breathe in something solid, rather than air. At least you and everyone else were suffering together.
"Ugh," Kiara exasperated. "It's so gross I am literally sticking to my shorts." She pulled at her ripped jean shorts and sure enough, they peeled up as if they were stuck with tape.
You sat in the back of the boat, fanning yourself with a magazine and wiping the back of your neck, feeling it slick with sweat. The attempts to cool yourselves were futile. No matter how many times you splashed into the water you still seemed to dry off instantly, the scorching sun blazing on you and your friends.
"Should we jump in again?" Offered Pope, whose sweat was glistening on his forehead.
"Yes please," JJ countered, taking his flip flops off in preparation.
"I'm gonna stay here," Sarah spoke, pulling her dirty blonde hair up into a bun.
"Me too," you agreed. "Feels pointless. I might go in again later, though."
"Suit yourself," JJ winked at you and leapt into the twinkling water below. The others followed suit, causing a few stray beads of water to spray on your legs.
"Want a drink?" Sarah asked, peeling herself from the sticky boat seat and drifting towards the cooler.
"Yeah, just a beer is fine, thanks," you muttered, beginning to feel a light stinging in your chest.
She handed the cold can to you, and you smiled in appreciation before opening it and taking a sip in hopes it would calm your quickly beating heart and heavy breathing. You breathed out; it came out shaky and unsure.
"You okay?" Sarah offered, peering at you from under light lashes as she dug through her backpack for her phone. Finding it, she sat down next to you.
"Yeah," you choked out. "It's just so hot." You laughed, trying to ease the worry in your chest.
"I know, right," Sarah started. "It's at least like 95 degrees right now. I've never wanted AC so bad, like..."
Sarah's voice seemed to trail off and dissipate as your throat began tightening, strangling you. You gasped, trying to find air to fill your dry airways.
"Y/N?"
Sarah's face appeared in front of you. You couldn't hear her through the ringing in your ears, but you read your name on her lips.
"Inh-" you tried to speak, but only a squeak was able to come out from your sun-baked lips.
Sarah looked confused; she didn't understand what you were trying to say to her. Then it hit you. You had forgotten to pack your inhaler today. Shit! Usually, you were more careful than this, but when you had an attack maybe once every 6 months, it was easy to let it slip your mind.
Sarah noticed your eyes widen, hers becoming frantic. What is happening? Is she having a panic attack? She thought to herself.
"J-" you choked out, hoping Sarah would understand. She did.
"JJ? You want JJ?" She popped up then, dashing to the other end of the boat.
"JJ!" She hollered, desperately.
"What?" JJ said casually; he was floating on his back in the water. "I'm relaxing."
"JJ, it's Y/N! Hurry!"
This got JJ's attention. He crawled up the boat ladder swiftly, racing towards you.
"Baby?" He probed, blue eyes wide in worry. Then he realized -- he had seen this reaction from you before. You were having an asthma attack.
"Where's your inhaler?" He urged you, lake water dripping from his strands of blonde hair and onto the floor of the boat. Both his large hands were placed on either side of your arms.
"I don't," you choked out, "have it."
"Shit," JJ hollered, looking away for a moment. Then his face lit up. "Hold on."
He began rifling through his backpack that was sat next to yours and pulled out a small object. Your extra inhaler. He had it?
"Here baby," he cooed, holding the medicine up to your dry lips, willing you to breathe it in.
It took a couple pumps of the contraption for you to start to breathe normally again. JJ stroked the sides of your arms with his damp hands and watched you intently. The others had made their way back onto the boat, watching silently, concerned for you.
You sighed loudly, finally able to catch your breath. You leaned your head back against the edge of the boat behind you.
"You're okay," JJ spoke softly, pulling the stray strands of hair away from your face. He recalled from the last attack that you lost all your energy from the exertion it took to try to breathe.
You coughed then, your head shooting up. You leaned forward, your elbows resting on your thighs. JJ's hand reached up to rub your back soothingly, and he looked at the others as someone spoke.
"Is she-" Kiara's voice spoke.
"She's fine," JJ barked, knowing you didn't want to be pitied, "just give her a second."
As a child, you had asthma attacks more frequently. You could still feel the sorrowful gazes from your classmates throughout grade school and you hated it. You were a strong person, and you didn't want your asthma to define you in the way that it once had.
"Thank you." You were finally able to choke out a coherent reply to your caring boyfriend, who still sat, crouched in front of you.
"Yeah," he grinned lopsidedly at you, a smile you adored more than practically anything else in the world. "Do you need anything?"
You ignored his question, your own suddenly returning to you.
"Why did you have my extra inhaler?"
"Oh," he started, "I hope you don't mind. I snagged it from your place. I figured it might come in handy." He grinned again, a subtle nod to your current state, and wiggled the inhaler in his hand.
Tears pricked your eyes.
"Fuck, thank you," you muttered. You felt grateful, but also guilty that your boyfriend had to be the one to take care of you. "God, how did I forget it the one day I needed it? I'm so stupid!"
"Hey, hey," he became more serious, but still had his typical joking undertone. "C'mon, Y/N/N. You barely get 'em anymore. We just gotta make sure at least one of us has one for ya from now on."
You groaned, knowing he was right, but you still felt so stupid. JJ could tell.
"C'mere," he declared, and plopped down next to you. He wrapped his arm around you and kissed your temple.
"Ew, you're gross and sweaty," you blanched dramatically, pulling away.
"Is that any way to talk to me?" He joked, pulling you closer. "Look, I know it ain't easy bein' wheezy, but I kind of saved your life."
You groaned playfully and leaned your head into the crook of his neck. Luckily, the rest of the group had resumed their normal pursuits, leaving you to relax against JJ and get some much-needed rest. His other hand rubbed your thigh comfortingly as the boat advanced back towards the mainland.
-----
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ohbo-ohno · 1 year ago
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if the 1k game is still open, I’d like to throw in my two cents!
Ghost (or Ghoap) with Forest and Only (allotted amount of time) to escape before (bad thing happens)
I’m sure there’s plenty of ways to go with that!~ please take your time and remember to drink water today!!!!!
~🦋
1k game here - no more please!
i will drink water just for you babe. also i did ghoap x reader & forest & trying to escape, but ended up not including an allotted amount of time, hope that's alright!
1.5k of ghost watching soap and reader run from him during a zombie apolocypse. except the apolocypse is really more of a background thing and i just throw in mentions of zombies. no smut! (cw for a very brief mention of cannibalism, a sprained then broken ankle, kidnapping, and very light puppyplay at the end)
"You fucking idiot, Johnny," you hiss. "You're gonna get us killed!"
"Me?" He snarls, whirling around to glare at you, hackles raised. "You're fuckin' shoutin' like you want the bastard to find us!"
"Shhh! Could you be any louder?!"
"You goddamned feartie, I hope he kills you first!"
"What the fuck did you just call me?!"
Ghost just barely manages to bite back a laugh at your offended tone, the way you're nearly spitting at Johnny, even at nearly a foot shorter than him. It's like watching a kitten try and fight a dog - cute, but you know the dog could crush the kitten if things went a little too far.
But Simon doesn't mind watching you hiss and spit at Johnny, certainly doesn't see a need to step in any time soon.
He hadn't expected to find much more than a few corpses when the motion sensor around his property triggered an alarm in his base. He figured it was probably a few zombies, easy enough to deal with.
But then he spotted the two of you - a big Scotsman and his far smaller girl, bickering playfully and totally unaware of him in the shadows.
Originally he'd planned to kill the two of you. He's got enough food stored to make it through the winter, so he wouldn't have to bother with freezing your bodies for later. It would be almost comically easy to kill you, take a couple shots from far enough away that you'd never see them coming, drag your bodies off his property, and forget all about you.
But then Johnny - who's name he only knows because you use it frequently - had spotted him. And wasn't that interesting? It's been a long time since someone managed to spot Ghost while he was trailing them.
He'd noticed Johnny's injury soon after that. The two of you had taken off running - he's not sure why, but apparently you haven't had the best experience with strangers - and Johnny had limped beside you, his right ankle clearly giving him trouble.
That was near sunrise. Now, there's an hour or two before the sunsets.
Simon would like to have the two of you in his base before night falls. No point in risking losing one of you to a zombie, not when you're already vulnerable.
He's been herding the two of you in the right direction since about noon. The two of you had picked the right direction to run, almost making it fully out of Ghost's territory before he started redirecting you. It was easy to land a few shots in the dirt in front of you, send the pair of you scrambling in another direction.
You're closer to his base than either of you realize. Ghost's muscles twitch at the realization, the thought of having the two of you locked up fueling his adrenaline.
He already knows you'll both put up a good fight. He can't wait to see which one of you gives in first. He thinks it might be Johnny, can already picture the man being good after seeing how Ghost might treat you.
He tunes back into your argument as the land becomes more familiar, unable to resist smirking as he sees the path that Johnny's about to walk.
"I told you we should've been more on the lookout for other people."
"Don't even start! Ye know as well as me that the bastard came out of nowhere, don't act like we woulda seen him anyway."
"Well, now we'll never know."
"Exactly! So why're you still naggin' me about it?"
"Oh, really, I'm nagging? Really, Johnny?"
"Yes! What, you think saying it twice makes it less true?"
"Oh, fuck you, honestly, I don't even know why I bother helping you."
Johnny laughs, loud and very obviously fake. "You're helpin' me? Oh, now you've really lost it, lass. I've been dragging dead weight since this whole thing started! You know, I'm getting awful tired of-"
Johnny's just a few steps away, make that final little stretch as he talks, and Ghost holds his breath, waits....
Bam. Before he can finish his complaint, he's yanked into the air. His bad ankle is wrapped up tight in rope, a trap tugging that leg into the air and leaving his torso resting on the ground.
He grunts loudly, though not as loudly as Ghost had expected with his injury.
"Holy shit!" You nearly shout, rushing to Johnny's side and abandoning your argument. "Fuck, are you alright?"
The Scot makes a half-wheezed sound of affirmation, eyes squeezed shut.
"Fuck, alright, don't move. I'll get you out, alright?"
Before you can figure out how to make that happen, Simon steps out of the treeline. You catch sight of him immediately, eyes going wide as you clearly fight the urge to run and abandon your partner. You just barely manage to stop yourself, shifting into what looks like it's meant to be a defensive possession.
Ghost tilts his head, smirks behind the mask. "Where do you think you're goin'?"
Johnny's face is twisted in pain, leaving you to respond. "We don't mean any harm, alright? Just... just let me get him down, and we'll go."
Simon slings his rifle off his back, holds it casually in his arms. The way your hands twitch, the panic streaking across Johnny's expression... fuck, it gets him hard.
"Why would I let you do that?"
There's a little furrow between your brows, and Johnny starts to really squirm in is bindings.
"We won't tell anyone about you," you try, inching around Johnny's prone form. "Promise. You let us go, you'll never have to see us again."
That, Simon thinks, is the problem.
He hauls his gun up, takes quick aim, and shoots the rope tying Johnny up before either of you can properly panic. You both still scream when the branch falls, clattering to the ground on top of Johnny.
You're quick to help him up, your argument apparently entirely forgotten as you let him lean most of his body weight on your shoulders.
Ghost slings the gun back over his shoulder, pulling a length of rope out of his pocket. "Both of you, on your knees. Hands behind your heads, eyes closed."
"Oy." Johnny tries to move in front of you, but his now mangled ankle has to be kept completely off the ground for him to even stay standing. "You can't... we'll go, like she said. Promise, mate."
"Knees."
He'd be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed neither of you put up even a bit of fight. But he doesn't complain as he watches you fall to the ground first, letting Johnny use you to help himself.
"Good," Simon hums when you both settle, forms stiff but in the correct position. "Either one of you even twitches, I'll break your legs and leave you for the zombies."
You both shudder at that, and Ghost feels his cock throb in his jeans. He adjusts himself, then steps forward with the rope.
He's quick, not giving either of you time to properly react. You both get a matching loop of rough rope tied around your necks, just tight enough that the skin is already rubbed a bit raw, just from the initial tie.
"Don't move," Simon growls when Johnny jerks away, gripping the man's wrists and tugging them in front of him. "You want to die out here? Watch your little girlfriend get eaten alive?"
He flushes, teeth gritted in what's probably a mix of rage and pain. Sweat drips down his face, streaking through the filth. "She's not my girl."
"Johnny," you hiss, shifting restlessly on your knees. "Seriously?"
"What? Yer not."
"Is that really what you want to be focusing on right now?"
"Oh, would ye rather talk about the goddamn collar and leashes the bastard's given us?"
Ghost gives said leash a rough tug for that, finishing off the loops around Johnny's wrist and moving in front of you. "The bastard's right here."
You sit still, eyes still closed and limbs loose as you let him move your arms around. Johnny's the one who starts squirming, scowl deepening. "Really? Couldnae tell."
"Lotta sass from a man wearing a leash." Ghost yanks it again, nearly sending Johnny sprawling to the ground. He just manages to catch himself on his bound hands, and Simon finishes off yours.
He steps back, holding the length of rope stretching from your necks in one hand. He tugs solidly, smirks when you both stand as quickly as you can. "Up, now. Time to go home."
He doesn't spare either of you a glance, turning around and starting the rest of the journey home. He shows a bit of kindness, keep his pace slow since he can hear the way Johnny's breathing grows more ragged, hear his limp against the dead leaves.
Neither of you tug or try to run away, and Ghost can't help but smile at the obedience. He mentally crosses leash training off his to-do list. He had been looking forward to that one, but he's sure there'll be plenty of other interesting experiences with the two of you.
He's never trained two pets at once. He can't wait to see how it goes.
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rafesfavoritegirl · 23 days ago
Text
where currents collide
chapter 1: riptide
𓂃⋆.˚ Being John B’s sister came with its challenges. After their father’s death, he became overly protective of Viv. Sharing the same group of friends—the Pogues—meant navigating its own complications. Among them, Viv and JJ flirted, though neither had put a label it. Tensions ran high when John B forbade Viv from joining the Pogues at a party. As Viv struggled with being controlled, JJ tried to mediate, but his efforts only made things worse, leaving Viv feeling frustrated. Through anger, Viv finds comfort in a shocking source.
word count 1.4k
Content Warning: Mentions of loss (death of a parent), sibling protection dynamics, light flirtation, mild language, tension/family conflict. Trigger Warning: Protective behavior, emotional tension, and confrontation.
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chapter 1: riptide
As I feel the sensation of the warm summer breeze delicately hitting my skin, I tune out the outside noise causing me to only hear ‘Champagne Coast’  blasting in my ears. I came to a silent agreement with myself that I had never been more at peace in my life. 
However, that didn’t last long. 
The sun blurs my vision as I look up, and I see a shadowed figure standing before me, none other than Jj Maybank. He tries to speak, but all I hear are muffled sounds through my headphones. As he continues talking, he motions for me to take one earbud out. I don’t immediately respond, and he misinterprets my silence as ignoring him. With a frustrated sigh, he yanks one of my old, worn-out wired headphones from my ear. I look up at the soaking blonde-haired boy, his abs glistening in the scorching sun catching my attention, but I swiftly redirect my focus back up to his eyes. I thought I got away with admiring the view of him but I was mistaken.
“Viv, My eyes aren’t down here”,  JJ says, giving a soft chuckle while peering down towards his abs. I look at him and scoff at his witty yet flirtatious remark and decide to respond as equals to him, “They might as well be.” 
JJ, not expecting me to respond with such unwavering confidence, this creates a rush of heat to spread throughout his face, it was so slight, the others would have mistaken it for a sunburn, but I knew better. "Easy there, Viv. Keep talking like that, and I might start thinking you’re into me." he countered. This resulted in him forgetting what he originally came to ask me. “So what do you need?” I questioned, to break the silence that had fallen.
“Uhh- yeah…right! A bunch of us are going surfing in a couple, You coming with?” The slight tone in his voice indicated that he wanted me to go. I playfully chuckled at his cute attempt to invite me to go surfing, “Is that even a question?” I shoved my phone into the bottom of my beach bag, signaling that I was ready for him to lead the way toward the vast blue ocean that awaited us. 
༄ ༄ ༄ 
As we loaded up the Twinkie with our beach gear, I made my way to the back of the van. Dramatically, I flopped down across two seats, letting out an exasperated sigh at the thought of all the activities that we had just accomplished today. While John B was strapping the surfboards to the top of the Twinkie, Topper and his friends drove by. I sat in the van, waiting for everyone to finish up, John B climbed into the driver's seat, venting to Pope about how much he hated Topper. He slammed his fist against the steering wheel in frustration, and the van fell into an uneasy silence. John B, clearly unable to make sense of the interaction that had just unfolded between him and the Kook, broke the silence with a determined remark, saying, “Guys I swear we are crashing that figure 8 party tonight. Topper is gonna pay for whatever the fuck hes been saying.” Sarah chiming in as a rebuttal saying, “John B leave it alone, he's not worth it.” JJ interrupting the both of them going back and forth, “I’m with you on that John B.” This left John B frustrated as he drove us back to our house. 
As the sun sets, excitement surges through me at the thought of crashing the Figure 8 party. I picture the Kooks' reactions when we confront Topper, and the chaos that will follow. Exhausted from the day, I stumble into my room, toss my things onto the bed, and head straight to the closet. After digging through my options, I finally settled on an outfit. Grabbing a towel, I make my way to the bathroom and step into the shower. The warm spray hits my skin, and I hear the faint hum of voices from the living room—laughter and chatter as the Pogues cook after a long day at the beach. The air is thick with salt, but inside it is warm, cozy, and familiar. The sounds of cooking and laughter mix with the rhythm of the water, offering a peaceful contrast to the day’s chaos.
Once I'm clean and dressed, I make my way to the living room and sink into the couch with the rest of the Pogues. The air is filled with the easy hum of their random chatter, the kind of conversation that meanders from topic to topic without much care. I grab the cheese burger John B had made for everyone, still warm and comforting in my hands, and take a bite. The flavor mingles with the relaxed atmosphere—familiar, like a moment pulled straight from a summer film. I eat absentmindedly, letting the laughter and casual talk wash over me, feeling right at home among the chaos. My thoughts drift until Pope's voice pulls me back to reality. “I don’t think this is a good idea,” he says. “What do you think, Viv?”
I don’t catch his words the first time, still lost in my own head. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” I ask, snapping back to attention.
Pope exhales and repeats himself. “Crashing the kooks' party? I mean... I don’t think it’s a good idea.” 
I give him a look, like he's grown three heads. "Are you crazy? I think that’s the best idea John B’s ever had," I say, shaking my head. 
Pope and I continue to argue playfully, our voices rising as we dig in our heels over whatever the debate is this time. That's when John B, who’s been quietly listening from the sidelines, overhears. He pops his head around the corner and throws me a grin, stepping into the conversation with that familiar swagger. "Who said you were goin'?" he asks, directing the question right at me, his tone a mix of mock and surprise. I laugh, thinking he's just messing around. But John B glances around, his expression serious, and gives me a look that makes it clear he is not joking. "I'm serious, Viv. You're not going,", he restates.
The room falls into an awkward silence at John B's stern comment, exchanging uncertain glances. No one laughs, and the tension lingers, thick and uncomfortable. I take a long look at John B before replying, my tone flat. "Really?" 
"John B, what are you talking about?" I ask, trying to keep my voice calm, though there is an edge to it. "Of course I’m going. I don’t need anyone telling me what I can or can’t do."
His jaw tightens, and he steps closer, his eyes unwavering. "You’re not gonna be a part of this. It’s too dangerous."
I glared at him, my mind racing. "Dangerous? What the hell are you talking about? We’ve been through worse."
"Not like this," he says, voice low. "This is different. And I’m not lettin’ you walk into it."
For a moment, I stood there, my chest tight with a mix of anger and concern. I know he is looking out for me, but it feels like he is taking all my choices away.
"John B, You can’t protect me from everything. I’m not some fragile thing."
The room hung in an uneasy silence, until Jj broke it with a soft tone, trying to ease the tension. "As much as I hate to say it," he said, glancing at John B, "he's got a point, Viv."
I turned to Jj, my voice serious and tinged with disappointment. "You can't be serious, Jayj." 
I decided to wait for Jj to respond. I shot him a look and stormed off to my room, slamming the door behind me. The others in the living room murmured about it, but Jj stayed quiet, still processing. He finally got up to follow me and knocked on the door, but before he could, I yanked it open, jacket in hand, ready to leave. "Viv, just calm down" he called, stepping in front of me, but I shoved him aside—not violently, but enough to make him step back. Jj quickly stepped in, grabbing in an attempt to restrain me. “Can you fucking not,” I shouted. 
“Can you just listen for one moment! If I’m the one mediating, we reached rock bottom.”, Jj said in a stricken tone. I could tell he was attempting to make things right, that he just wanted me to listen. But I was tired—exhausted, really—from everyone constantly telling me what to do.
Follow the wattpad, this fanfic will be posted consecutively every week with new chapters! : https://www.wattpad.com/user/rafesfavoritegirl-
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bengiyo · 1 year ago
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Last Twilight Ep 3 Stray Thoughts
Last time, Mhok began working and was pleased with his salary. He may be rough around the edges, but he was doing his "easy" job. He had some initial friction with Day around moving his things and taking care of the fish, but things came to a head when Day tried to run from strangers seeing his condition. Mhok got triggered, thinking Day might hurt himself, and broke into his room. Mhok got fired, but Porjai came to talk to Day about Mhok putting himself through an exercise to understand Day's disability more and the two have reconciled for now.
I like the two of them straightening Day's room together and understanding the system to help him find things. It's a relief to see Day having fun with it.
The inflatable dino costumes are so silly. This is fun.
Now, Mhok, you know better than to swipe through someone else's pictures.
They saw Day making progress around the house and made him instantly clam back up by suggesting he go back to school.
Mhok's relationship with Porjai is used very well here. I love that she has moved on from Mhok and is happy, so I don't feel bad about her giving perspective and wondering about some jealousy plotline.
I like the pace of the relationship between Mhok and Day so far. Day is already asking Mhok for help on his own.
I will always love teachers who refuse to let students give up on themselves.
Mhok is a good listener and supporter. I like that he doesn't involve himself in the conversations between the family or the teacher, and that he aids Day's attempt to avoid notice.
Said the name of the show. Finish your drinks.
Thank you for keeping the lights on, Oishii.
I like how Mhok plays with the preconceptions that he doesn't know much to encourage Day to figure out some things. It's a very gentle approach that uses Day's own ego to move him forward.
WE HAVE FINALLY USED THE BANGKOK METRO SYSTEM IN A BL. 🎉 IPYTM came close, but we never went inside.
I love that Mhok tried to prank Day with the pink shirt. Later, in the dressing room, we know he's watching out for Day because he confirmed that he knew what was on the shirt he picked.
I like the way the physical tension between them around Day's exposed body is building.
And Day made Mhok get the pink shirt! I love this.
Mhok being sure to include Day in the conversation with the bookstore owner is a great touch. I like that he didn't let Day give up and insisted they find the book today.
Even if it's a bit artificial, I like Mhok slipping the book where Day would find it to help him have a sense of accomplishment since Day had been also sifting through books.
The last page is missing? How will we know the ending? Okay, Aof. I see you.
Increasing the price because he's Mhok's friend was so fun. It's the kind of detail that makes the world feel like it has a history. It was clearly a joke and let Day have fun.
Oh, we were having such a good day, and now Mhok feels like he has to defend Porjai and in a fight against Porjai's two-timing boyfriend. Now Day is lost.
Oh my goodness, did Mhok switch to the pink shirt to make himself more visible? I am going to melt.
Mhok is so ready for people to look down on him that he immediately owned his own history rather than let the mom hold it over him.
Oh shit that was great eye shine from Jimmy when Day started saying how much he appreciates Mhok.
Not sure what all is going on with Night and Day yet, but I like that he came to Mhok's defense after they left the room.
That was a really well done wind down for this episode.
More of Film next week!!
So, I'm really loving this show and so glad that a GMMTV show is back to sound episodic structure. Jimmy and Sea both feel much more attuned to their characters and their chemistry feels a lot easier than their last outing. This is a solid watch
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creature-wizard · 6 months ago
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Now I've made it to Cisco Wheeler's part of Deeper Insights Into The Illuminati Formula, where she wrote a "guide" to help therapists treat people who allegedly suffer from alter programming/trauma-based mind control. I'm sure Ms. Wheeler won't push therapists toward doing anything inappropriate or unethical - oh, whoops, too late.
The victim must free their mind from the control of the world and realize who they are as God intended and planned. It is not enough to erase the bad, one must realize one’s identity and birthright in God that was stolen. In fact, as our book points out, a mind-control victim will not let loose of their mind-control unless something better is adopted. We sincerely pray that those victims who want out will find Jesus Christ, and realize the emancipation that is found in Christ Jesus. Let us recap the four essential areas of work. If the victim is not totally SAFE, then very little work of substance will take place, even though the client might display a great healing (which is a cover program.) If the victim, does not get to know who they are, what has happened to them, and what mind-control is all about, they will likely go into denial and leave therapy.
Many of today's RAMCOA writers really try to downplay the the religious aspect of the alter programming conspiracy theory, so it's easy for the casual searcher to miss. But when we trace it back to its roots, there's simply no denying what this whole thing was always about chasing people back into conservative Christianity.
Wheeler goes on to describe a list of things that can allegedly be access codes for alters:
MEDIA: access codes/colors/story schemes/pictures in the newspapers, television, Christian television, ads, radio, and news events that are broadcast in all fashions.
PERSON TO PERSON: Eye winks, eye blinks, hand signals, body gestures, clothing, colors, words, karaoke song selections sung, other victims of mind control, taps such as 3 taps, and the arrival of particular persons, one’s children, one’s boss, one’s relatives.
TECHNOLOGICAL: Sounds in morse code, break lights done in code, head light flashes, gunshots in area such as 3 gunshots, blank telephone calls, recorded messages left on answering machine, telephone tones, late calls from master, airplanes flying certain patterns in area, helicopters flying certain patterns, and lights on helicopters.
ITEMS: Keys, business cards, certain tokens or certain bills, letters such as chain letters, colors on cars, statues at sites, signs, houses, and colors on houses, buttons.
This is yet another part where the alter programming conspiracy theory gets incredibly ridiculous. Most of these things are incredibly common, generic things, which means that if any of this were really happening, it should be absurdly easy to trigger and activate many of these alters by pure accident. But in the real world, not a single person has ever been triggered into Government Super-Assassin Mode because they saw a green silk shirt while out shopping for clothes.
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sidgeno-ficrecs · 11 months ago
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this delicate place by @ljummen
sidgeno (2019, explicit, 32.8k) **content notes: mental illness, anxiety attacks, depression, trauma and its aftermath
“Are you?” Taylor asks unexpectedly. “Am I what?” Looking up from the stove, Sid finds her watching him with an odd look on her face. “Happy.” It should be an easy question to answer. Sid has escaped back to Canada after a career ending injury. It doesn’t dawn on him exactly how much early retirement has affected him, until Taylor introduces him to a YouTube channel where a firefighter talks about his own struggles with his mental health.
Hey Geno,
I just watched this video and realized that I’ve had several panic attacks over the course of a few months. I had one a few hours ago. I haven’t experienced anything traumatic, but anxiety (I assume, based on your description in this video) has been sneaking up on me. A week ago, I bought two plants, like you suggested in another video. Today’s panic attack was triggered by me noticing that they were dead (the plants, I mean).
I feel stupid for reacting to something so trivial. I haven’t watched that many of your videos, but from what I understood, you actually experienced something bad. So why am I broken for no reason?
this is a hard time of year.
it's dark, it's cold (if you're in the northern hemisphere), and for me at least, it always seems like the post-holiday winter stretch is when bad things happen. it's easy to get lost in your own head and spend hours dwelling on what's gone wrong, or what might go wrong, and get stuck in a negative feedback loop that can be so, so hard to break out of.
i've mentioned before that i don't love fics that diagnose sid (or geno, but it's usually sid) with certain neurodivergencies because in my experience it leads to people talking about him like he actually has x or y and it makes me uncomfortable, but i re-read this fic last night because i've been feeling down recently and i think it deserves a moment in the spotlight.
this story is a very raw, honest look at what it can be like to deal with depression and anxiety, from the perspective of someone who never has before and doesn't know what's going on and needs an extra push to see what's happening and get help.
depression is a lonely, isolating experience, and that's part of what makes it so dangerous. it's so easy to not notice that you're withdrawing and losing yourself until it's almost too much to climb out of, and on top of all that you've lost all motivation to take steps to get better. it's a vicious, evil little trick the brain can play on you, and @ljummen walks us through sidney's experience with it with care, honesty, and compassion.
this fic made me feel seen. it can be hard to read—sid has panic attacks and we as readers experience them right along with him, along with the other symptoms of depression—but if you're in a space where reading about it won't make you feel worse or trigger anything, i really recommend it. we see sid struggle, we see him be in denial of what he's dealing with—what does he have to be depressed over, after all? what trauma does he have to deal with?—and, crucially, we see him turn a corner and start to get better.
i think that's the magic of this story. sid manages to step outside of the black pit he's stuck in long enough to take steps to get help, and he meets someone who knows him and understands what he's going through, and they fall in love despite the obstacles in their way. it's a story about someone whose life isn't going the way they thought it would, but who manages to see that's not necessarily the end of the world, and for me at least reading this story gave me comfort and hope.
yes, it can be dark at times. life can be hard, so hard that it seems easier to just go back to bed and try and wait it out. but you also might meet someone who sees you, and knows you, and is there for you, and who you can see and know and support in return. there's light out there, if you can peek outside the curtain to look for it.
i hope you're all taking care of yourselves. be gentle with your own mind if you've been having a difficult time. reach out to the people who love you—they want to be there for you, even if you're hearing that little voice that says you're just a burden.
and if you're up to it, read this story, which will hopefully provide you a little comfort and escape and hope, like it does for me when i'm having bad days.
read it here on ao3!
and don't forget to leave a comment!
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kilmerhq · 1 month ago
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𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚜 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚘𝚡 … it  started  as  a  regular  morning.  you  were  pacing  your  favorite  place  around  the  town,  eyes  glued  ahead  or  above  —  perhaps  foreign  to  some  of  our  more  reserved  townies,  but  today  felt  different…  a  few  more  paces,  and  your  foot  collides  with  something.  it's  not  too  heavy,  but  it  can  easily  hold  its  own.  after  all,  its  withstood  the  past  few  nights  -  wet,  with  mid-autumn  rains  whose  force  whistles  against  your  bedroom  window.
OUT  OF  CHARACTER  INFORMATION  :   this  is  the  first  task + mini plotdrop  of  kilmer's  cove  !  muse  participation  is  not  mandatory,  but  highly  recommended.  to  participate,  make  sure  to  tag  your  post  as  #kilmer.task01  so  we  can  view  your  lovely  answers  and  collect  them  for  near  future  hauntings.  if opting out, make sure to give this a quick read regardless, as it will inform new threads from here on out ! click  the  READ  MORE  and  see  what  you  will  soon  find  out  about  your  muse…  and  maybe  yourself  ?
you  may  answer  the  following  questions  in  any  format  that  you  would  like  —  prose,  ooc  headcanon  style,  an  all-encompassing  self  para  …  whatever  fits  your  creative  vision  the  best  !
if  you  do  decide  to  venture  in  on  this  journey  with  us,  all  questions  must  be  answered,  but  in  any  order  you  see  makes  sense  with  the  narrative. the text in bold is what must be answered. all other info is there to guide you and your muse.
this may delve into themes of trauma and pain, so please use your discretion when tagging trigger warnings on the post. any of the triggers listed here must be tagged.
— NOW,  LET'S  CONTINUE  .
Q01  :  you,  ever  the  curious  cat,  whether  you'd  like  to  admit  it  or  not,  crouches  down,  eyes  laser-focused  on  the  item  before  them.  what  does  the  outside  of  the  box  look  like  ?  is  this  something  they  have  seen  before  —  either  in  their  dreams  or  reality  ?  go  as  detailed  as  you'd  like.  possible  descriptors  can  delve  into  things  like:  what  material  is  the  box  made  of,  does  it  have  any  significance  to  y/m  or  someone  close  to  them,  does  it  have  this  enticing  energy  or  will  y/m  rebuke  this  omen,  is  it  hot  to  the  touch  or  freezing  cold,  etc.
Q02  :  after  careful  deliberation,  or  maybe  none  at  all,  you  have  decided  to  take  your  chances,  anyway.  your  hand  is  outstretched,  fingers  skimming  the  exterior  before  finally  pulling  it  into  your  grasp.  is  it  locked  ?  a  simple  yes  or  no  could  suffice,  or  you  could  go  in  depth  about  how  surprisingly  easy  it  was  to  open,  or,  conversely,  paint  a  picture  of  a  struggle.  will  they  accept  defeat,  or  use  their  surroundings  to  pry  it  open.
Q03  :  a  time  capsule,  it  seems,  but  you  don't  remember  making  one.  how  did  it  get  here  ?  you  might  be  losing  your  mind,  at  this  point.  regardless,  relish  in  your  success.  congrats.  you've  opened  it.  now  tell  me  what's  inside.  pictures  ?  jewelry  ?  useless  knick  knacks  ?
Q04  :  the  finale.  do  you  take  it  home,  or  are  its  contents  so  painful,  you  cannot  bear  to  have  it  in  your  sight  any  longer  ?  again,  a  simple  answer,  or  a  careful  deliberation  would  work  —  both  tell  me  exactly  what  i  need  to  know.
if  you  decided  to  leave  it  there,  or  perhaps  throw  it  into  the  ocean,  you  may  never  see  it  again.  if  you  decided  to  keep  it  :  during  your  journey  home,  whatever  bag  or  pocket  you  decided  to  stash  it  in  —  perhaps  it  is  cradled  by  the  safety  of  your  palms  or  arms  —  you  slowly  feel  the  weight  being  turned  into  something  different.  for  you  are  dust,  and  to  dust  you  shall  return.  it  was  all  a  dream.  are  you  brave  enough  to  share  that  with  your  community  ?  or  will  you  keep  your  cards  close  ?  the  air  feels  odd,  and  everyone,  in  one  way  or  another,  simply  feels…  off.  for  those  who  seek  out  external  guidance,  it  seems  as  if  the  town  of  kilmer  and  its  shared  delusions  might  not  just  be  a  piece  of  urban  legend. 
this  collective  dream  will  now  drive  your  future  threads, whether you posted a task or not, your muse still fell victim to this disorienting dream. will  you  finally give in  to  the  mystery  of  the  cove  ?  or  will  you  continue  to  push  against  the  current of superstition  ?
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mothnem · 11 months ago
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Scout's Guide to Building a Merc Team: Part 1-Spies
Scout: adjusts his hand held camera, Hey viewers! Today I'm going to show you how to build your very own Merc team! Now, you might think starting with a Heavy is a good idea, but Heavies are easy to catch. The first trap you need to set is for your Spy. Spies are sneaky bastards and will take the longest to find and capture. Here are the steps to set the trap and the bait.
1. Use a traditional box, with a stick holding it up. You don't want to hurt your new Spy! And the box will limit their ability to escape. But don't corner them. They get.... stabby.
2. Once the trap is set, you need bait. I want a French Spy, so I will need these thing. Holds them up as he mentions them A disguise kit, Spies love disguises, secret files, if you can't provide your Spy with secrets, you shouldn't get one, Spies need secrets to live, and a Croissant, French Spies love Croissants. Adding a different type of food will catch you a different kind of Spy. If you want say, an American Spy, add a cheese burger.
Once you got everything, place them under the box, and wait. For a really long time. When the trap triggers and you open it and see either nothing, or a different type of Merc, don't worry, the Spy is there. Spies will disguise themselves or turn invisible when startled.
And there you have it loyal viewers! If you liked learning how to catch your own Spy, leave a like and hit that subscribe button down below! Next time, we'll be learning how to track the illusive Sniper! No, they aren't a myth! They're as real as Yetis used to be!
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I have gone insane. I have no questions yet, so I'm copying the whole list and answering them for Lucifer.
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What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?
A few hours, to maybe a month. It really depends. Has there been a recent cleansing? He's going to sit still for a month. After that passes, he'll have a hard time keeping still.
How easy is it for your character to laugh?
VERY easy. He finds mortal ignorance cute, and will start chuckling over mortals not understanding the universe like he does. Not a malicious or condescending chuckle, mind you. A "Oh, I remember when I was like that. They'll learn that's a silly way of thinking eventually." Loves playing too, best way to get him laughing is to wrestle him.
How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)
He doesn't. He fights sleep with all his might to watch over his family. He can't sleep... any moment not watching for danger is another life lost.
How easy is it to earn their trust?
Surprisingly easy, as he knows that he can't judge by someone's surface, if they're offering help. If someone gives off a bad vibe, or has a lot of sin, he'll just be EXTREMELY cautious.
How easy is it to earn their mistrust?
Again, very easy. All it takes is hurting a child. Then you're his next meal...
Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?
He has seen kingdoms rise and fall, languages rewrite themselves, and humanity change in unbelievable ways. Laws come and go, with each dying breath of a dynasty.
A part of him still thinks his father's word is law, and still believes his laws are immovable. That part of him, he wants to rip from his chest with his bare claws.
What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?
Seeing siblings play together, certain smells of flowers and honey, cold breezes, lamb chops, and old temples.
...it's a painful feeling, but he feels as though he deserves all the suffering he can get. He enjoys it, but it leaves him wanting to break his ribs, to rip out his still loving heart and tear it up. He will NEVER get that joy back, if he doesn't work for it. Even then, his happiness is eternally perverted. His memory stained and putrid, with rotting blood.
What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?
Talking. Playing. Moving. Touching things. Laughing. Smiling. The list of things he was told not to do goes on and on.
As for starting to do... he was simply told to "Be better. Stop making such mistakes."
Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?
Occasionally, yes. As for if he remembers? He barely remembers what he ate today, and that word is probably in a dead language. He probably said it, when he was trying to understand someone else's language. Like how kids will shout "FUCK!" When they hear it for the first time.
What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?
...everything will be okay...
Yes, it always haunts him when he has to say this. Especially to children.
How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?
He will ask many questions, and does not care how silly it sounds, when it seems obvious to other people. Only time he doesn't ask questions when he's confused, is when he's also terrified. If he thinks people are in danger, he'll protect first, ask questions later, even if it means sacrificing himself or killing someone he could potentially redeem.
How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?
He'll roll in rocks and rubble, like a bulky sand bath, scratch himself on a wall like a bear, or get his brothers to groom him.
What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?
He doesn't really care for clothes, as all he can wear is animal skins. He also doesn't care about looking good. He looks amazing in purple, however. As that's the color he used to be...
What animal do they fear most?
Lions. Not because they're dangerous, but because they remind him of his father.
How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?
He always speaks like he's reciting a ballad or a poem. All from his head though, so think theater kid improv.
What makes their stomach turn?
Overwhelming failure, and mutilated children.
Are they easily embarrassed?
No. There is not an ounce of self respect in his body.
What embarrasses them?
Being forced to take care of himself.
What is their favorite number?
He doesn't have one, as it would seem wrong to him to pick a favorite out of infinity. If he were to pick, it would be 2, as he loves his brother Michael, who was the second angel. Lucifer always did everything he could to be second to his brother, elevating him above himself.
Everything changed when he fell from grace...
The reverence is still there, but stained in blood.
If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?
Kinda?
He'd explain familial love as a duty and a burden at times. That it's a responsibility etched in blood, that sometimes feels like you can only be freed from through spilling it. But with some family, you will love them so much you will spill gallons of your own, and they'll hate you for it, because they'll wish they did the same first. As the way with family is. It's your responsibility to die for them. Ingrained in you. Making any betrayal from them poison your blood.
Platonic love is finding someone outside of your family, that you feel just as strongly for. They are the family, whose blood is not your own, but you would spill your blood just the same for them. You might even trust them more than family, as protecting you is not their birthright, but they protect you nonetheless. You are supposed to feel inclined to do the same. People you platonically love are kin, unfortunately fated to only know you by chance instead of default at birth.
...then romance is Asmodeus’s department- He just knows it has to do with mates.
Why do they get up in the morning? 
He is needed, and important. Much to his dismay. Had it his way, he would never wake up again, and no one would miss him. Alas, he is a beloved leader despite his flaws, and he still has a family that loves and depends on their big brother.
How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? 
Depends, honestly. If he's jealous over something silly with his siblings, he'll be over dramatic to annoy them.
But if he's jealous of someone for their looks, power, social standing, or even their home, it will manifest in a "holier than thou" way. He'll judge and mock the person he's jealous of, till they stop taking everything for granted. He'll still feel jealous after the person starts appreciating their blessings of having a loving home, or not being plagued by genocide. But he'll feel a little better knowing it isn't wasted.
 Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? 
He is only comfortable talking about it with kids, and it is always in a "puberty sucks, mating is painful for us, here's what to expect when your hormones start changing" type of way. He is great at the Birds and The Bees talk, as he likes learning about sex in theory.
He usually has the talk with Lambttens during or after mating season. As this is when they'll have the most questions. There is no beating around the bush, no storks or cabbage patch babies. Lambttens don't know what a stork or a cabbage is-
Give it to the kids straight. Tell them to wait when they older to they don't tear their own flesh. Let them know to warn lucifer of creeps that somehow became demons.
 What are their thoughts on marriage? 
None. Zip. Zero. Nada.
He forgets it exists until either:
A. Someone he knows is getting married.
B. He just remembered a culture fact about a civilization he used to visit as an angel, and the fact just so happened to be about marriage.
 What is their preferred mode of transportation? 
Used to love flying...
But then he liked chariots and boats.
Once those fell out of style, he LOVED steam engines.
 What causes them to feel dread? 
The smell of blood, or holy light. So he's constantly feeling dread!
 Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? 
Depends... truth is important when keeping people safe.
...but he'll lie about himself being okay, and he'll tell you that you'll be fine even when he knows that isn't true. Better to die with hope, than die in fear.
 Do they usually live up to their own ideals? 
He tries, but he shoots himself in the foot when he starts saying he doesn't deserve the same liberties. He's kind, forgiving, and unconditionally loving!
...to everyone but himself.
Lucifer is just Jesus with imposter's syndrome.
 Who do they most regret meeting? 
His father. He wishes he was never born.
 Who are they the most glad to have met? 
...everyone else. The existence of other gods, man, beasts, and even plants made his existence a little more bearable.
 Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? 
He usually trauma dumps as an ice breaker, but that's to get someone to know they're not alone when they suffer, and lucifer is there to be a shoulder to cry on.
In a fluffier setting, when speaking to mortal kids, he pretends to be a sad, lonely monster, that wants a friend. He then calls himself Luci the Goat-Cat, and makes up a wild story about how his mother was a goat, and his father was a cat that had forbidden love (no two stories about this is identical, he just goes along with guesses. "Yes, my parents stole a rocket ship to go to Mars, to escape the farmer! How did you know? I thought my parents never made the news!").
Other than that, he tends to be straightforward, blunt, or makes jokes at his own expense.
 Could they be considered lazy? 
No. He is the exact opposite of lazy, PLEASE HOLD HIM DOWN SO HE CAN NAP-
 How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? 
He is 18,243,004,673 as of current (going off of our year. He'll be 18,243,004,674 in September.), and he still feels guilty over things he did when he was 12. Safe so say:
FUCK YES, HE WILL NEVER LET GO
 How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? 
YES. He loves seeing other people happy, and will gladly lay his giant head in their lap and listen for HOURS. He'll learn everything on the subject, and talk about ancient knowledge related to it. If your mortal, he might even bring up an ancestor of yours that he knew that was also into something similar.
Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap? 
He actively walks the other direction without realizing it. Flirt to his face, he will take you literally.
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven~"
"Yes it did, I still remember screaming and crying for my father... I can still feel the wind, forcing air underneath my skin where it's loose on my back wounds..."
"...O-OH."
"...I'm such a terrible person, I should have never had wings in the first place..."
*runs the other direction as this did NOT go as planned*
This man has never been interested in mating, and has completely forgotten that people can and will be sexually and romantically attracted to his Pathetic Wet Meow Meow personality and his Daddy Issues and Catholic Guilt swagger.
Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? 
Whatever he needs to remember, he writes down in blood on a wall. No walls avaliable, he trusts his brain to keep the knowledge, only to be betrayed by his greymatter.
His siblings will be more likely to remember things than he is, since they actually sleep.
What memory do they revisit the most often? 
...the aftermath of him falling from grace.
The screams...
The burning of entire civilizations...
How be begged to be the only one hurt...
How he begged to be beaten instead of his friends being slaughtered like cattle...
How people called out for him...
How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? 
Surprisingly easy, as long as he can eventually reach them and help them redeem themselves.
If the flaws involve mental illness, however, he will simply give finger guns in solidarity, before giving personal tips.
How sensitive are they to their own flaws?
...VERY. Everyone can be redeemed, except for himself, who committed the first sin of being a 12 year old boy that wanted a little appreciation for his art and for humanity to be healthy. What a monster/s
How do they feel about children? 
Head empty. Only baby.
He LOVES kids and would die for them if he could physically die. Anyone who hurts a child, is his meal.
How badly do they want to reach their end goal? 
...it's one of the few things he lives for. He has to protect the family he has with him, and save the family that slaughters his kind...
His own brother is archenemy, but he may STILL be in there... somewhere...
...right?
If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? 
You would have to brief him on what a sexuality is, really quick, and he would still struggle a little, using extremely outdated terms... like the definitions were in the Library of Alexandria, outdated.
If that doesn't work, he'd just explain that mating is gross, and he loves everyone equally, and that it feels weird and wrong to love someone more than he does his neighbor.
He'll figure out what acearo means. He'll get there. He is simultaneously a little kid and an old grandpa when it comes to teaching him new terms.
Pst pst pst minor lucifer lore pst pst pst @endstar @sweet-and-insane @jackpot-library @fizzy-sodacan @blxsscd-x-fxrsakcn
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suga-kookiemonster · 5 months ago
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It's interesting you talk about Magneto, etc, because we had a large (far right) part of geek channels going absolutely insane because the main character in The Boys (captain something that is the personification of white supremacy) was being "controlled" by a black woman now?!? And started going with the good old "the woke culture is ruining things for us". god forbid a black woman is one of the main characters😒 there was more to it, but mainly this and how sometimes we don't see things from different perspectives until a second time viewing
I think the older I get the more I see things differently. Magneto was portrayed as a traitor who lost himself in the sauce but everything he always did was show everyone that hiding and conforming doesn't work at all. Charles subsided his expectations and got to the point of making a private oasis for his students whilst thousands of other mutants kept going out there on their own either because they couldn't find him or because their powers weren't "pretty" enough
What Charles did with Jean was also very fucked up, he entrapped and brainwashed her to the point she wasn't exerting her full powers because it wasn't beneficial for his idea of "subsided civilized" people just to be betrayed and be treated as monsters that needed a cure
I think he's aware of it though, because throughout everything he still calls Magneto his friend and vice versa, he might know he's wrong, but still kept going, even fighting against his own people to appease the good human kind that have never been kind to them
It's pretty simple, complying only works until one of your own dies/get's hurt/get's neglected, we got here where we are through violence much like in X-Men, it wasn't easy, it wasn't without a fuss and it wasn't without resistance. So everything we do to break this cycle and create our own will be nothing short of violent because we're changing something, it's simple as that
But people still blame him because we're taught that complying works, they just forget to tell us for who this complying works for
phewwww, truly a word this good monday morning! 👏🏾👏🏾 your last paragraph sums it allll the way up. charles is part of the problem, and so are people who say they support a cause until that fight starts to affect them specifically. if you wanna think about the bigger picture, then THINK about the bigger picture and understand that if you benefit in any way from injustice against a people, then fixing that injustice is going to therefore make you uncomfortable.
charles is a mutant, but the way his mutation presents is not visible, so he can easily pass as human. he also is a wealthy man, so that should tell you exactly what kind of worldview and privilege he has. he and raven are NOT the same. the world doesn’t allow her the same grave it allows him by default. so 1000% agree with you on your point of him making a fantasy safe haven while all other mutants are stuck being discriminated against he never was and never will be. just willfully blind to keep himself and his warped sense of what’s “right” comfortable smh. just ignoring the fact deferring to the forces trying to keep you in line will NOT make things better for you if it doesn’t benefit them to do so, because without force, things typically don’t move.
with everything going on in the world today, i guess it’s no wonder that charles ass triggered me lol. life lesson for everybody today: don’t be a white feminist. don’t be a white savior. don’t be an uncle tom. don’t be a charles. gone and kumbaya somewhere else unless you have actual plans on how to really help the people who deserve justice! until then, revolutionaries will always fight for their right to survive, and you can’t dictate how they choose to do that!
also, i really need to watch the boys! i think i’ve seen three episodes or so—I started watching it because I watched all of gen v and was intrigued by that world, but i got distracted by life. you just convinced me to pick it back up!
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fangirlingfromdownunder · 2 years ago
Text
Fleeting Comfort
Summary - Part 9 in the Comfort series
Pairing - Dean Winchester x Reader, Reader x Sam (platonic)
Warnings - angst, mentions of pregnancy
Series Masterlist | Masterlist
A/N - G’day guys, I know you guys are desperate to find out the results. Sorry, for making you wait, but I promise you’ll find out today! I hope you enjoy!
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You and Dean walk into the clinic hand-in-hand with a comforting sense of deja vu falling over you. As you take a seat in the waiting room you lean over to place a feather-light kiss on Dean’s cheek. 
“Are we really ready for this?”
“Honestly? Probably not. But we’ll figure it out. I’m here for you, every step of the way.”
“Thanks, Dean.”
He wraps an arm around you pulling you close until the doctor calls your name. Even when you stand, Dean doesn’t remove his arm. You sit in the doctor’s office as she brings up the test result files on the computer and prints them out. 
“Good morning, how are you both today?”
“Anxious to find out what that paper says?” Dean says.
“Of course, of course. Well, I won’t keep you waiting any longer; congratulations the blood test came back positive. You’re pregnant.”
You’re completely speechless as you look at Dean, squeezing his hand in yours in an attempt to ground yourself and convince yourself that it’s all real.
“Going by what we discussed last time as well as the hCG levels in your test I’d say you’re approximately six weeks along. We generally send for the first ultrasound around eight or nine weeks, so we can get that all booked for you today.”
"Could we do one earlier?” you ask.
“We can do one today for you if you’d like, but there likely won’t be too much development to see yet. At this stage it will still be an embryo, over the next few weeks it will develop into a fetus and then you’ll actually be able to see some more defining babylike features.”
“I understand. We can wait a few weeks then,” you say. 
“We’ll get that all booked for you before you leave then. Do you have any other questions? Anything else you’d like to know?”
“Just any advice you can give us would be great. Honestly, I never expected to be in this position, Doc. So, just anything you can tell us. What can I do to help my beautiful fiance here through this? What should she be doing?” Dean asks.
“Of course. Well, honestly dad this is a job that only mom can do,” she says looking at you. “The best you can do is just support her and let her tell you what she needs. And don’t hold back on him; pregnancy is highly rewarding but you have already seen the tip of how painful and draining it can be, so make use of your slave here. Don’t let him get off too easy,” she adds, winking at you. “As for other advice, you said you’re managing your first-trimester symptoms well so that’s the biggest thing. Staying away from any foods that trigger you, especially limiting your caffeine intake, and cutting out alcohol. Other than that, and this is in no way meant to scare you but in the first 12 weeks, you are at the highest risk of miscarriage. Now, it’s unlikely that anything will happen but it’s best to just take things easy and be aware of any abnormal changes or vaginal bleeding. Light exercise is fine, as is intercourse but avoid anything that might cause trauma to your abdomen and try to keep your stress levels low. As your pregnancy continues we can discuss birthing options and vitamins and such, but for now, just keep doing what you’re doing. And I’ll see you in a few weeks for the ultrasound.”
“Thanks, Doc. We really appreciate it,” Dean says.
“I wish you both all the best in this new chapter of your lives. I’ll see you in a few weeks.”
You and Dean slowly stand up and make your way back out to reception to pay the bill and book the ultrasound.
On your way home you continue the tradition of picking up baked goods, except this time you decide to get a little something to celebrate and let Sammy in on the news – even though you know he already suspects it, you want to confirm it. But without ordering in advance you have to pick from what’s in the window, so you end up buying a single-tier chocolate cake and a ‘Baby on Board’ plastic decal to stick on top. 
When you return to the bunker, Sam sits at the war table behind a stack of lore books and his laptop. You place the cake on the table where there’s space and insert the decal. 
“I know there’s been a lot of strong feelings around here recently and a lack of communication. I promise that that is going to stop today. And it’s going to start with this cake,” you state.
Sam looks up and takes in the words on the cake. “So, we’re finally discussing this now? You finally took a test? Dean knows?”
“I took two, and yes it’s been confirmed with the doctor with Dean present. Your suspicions were right and you were right about Dean’s reaction; he’s been nothing but supportive, and maybe a little overcautious, but can you blame him? How many other hunters do you know of that actually get to have this reality?” you say as Dean joins you, placing three plates, forks and a knife beside the cake.
Sam nods. “Congratulations you two, seriously! I am really happy for you. And Dean, I’m sorry about this morn-”
“This here,” Dean says gesturing at the cake, “is the only chick-flick moment. My girl here is the only one that gets those. So, that is in the past, we’re good.”
Sam nods as you cut and serve the cake. You and Sam dig in quietly, while Dean mumbles how pie is still better.
“Who’s carrying this baby?” you ask teasingly. 
“Oh, uh…This cake is delicious,” Dean quickly adds.
“That’s what I thought.” You smile and shake your head at him. You love light, happy moments like this, they don’t come as often as you’d like with the life you share. There is usually some monster to kill or an apocalypse to fight. But with your little surprise miracle on the way you hope that your lives will change soon. You know Dean would love to live an apple pie life with you, but you also know that he’ll always be a hunter – it’s all he’s ever known.
Dean stands and comes over to take your empty plate and the cake to the kitchen, but first, he leans down to kiss your head. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”
“Just the future…us…the possibilities, the realities.”
“One step at a time, remember. We’re going to figure all of this out together,” he lifts your left hand to his lips kissing your ring, “I made a promise and I intend to keep it.”
You nod slowly as you take a book from Sam’s pile, “I need a distraction, what are we researching?”
Desperate to avoid dreaded research, Dean quickly gathers the dishes and cake and makes his way to the kitchen. 
“Don’t you have more important things to think about, like the nursery or baby names or…”
“Sam, I have eight months to think about that. And I wouldn’t even know where to start with any of that. So please, just let me focus on something that I actually can do.”
“Alright. Well, I’m trying to find out more information about the demon tablet. If you’re gonna bring my niece or nephew into this world in eight months then we’re on a deadline to banish them back to hell and if we can send the angels back to heaven at the same time then that’s even better.”
“Maybe once we do that, you can also go out and find yourself a lady and have your own family. But what are the chances we really pull this off, Sam?”
“The three of us and Bobby, we can handle anything. And now, we’re more motivated than ever. Speaking of, have you and Dean told Bobby yet?”
“Not yet. This still feels like a bad idea. How can I bring a child into a world full of demons and douchebag angels? And if I tell many people and they find out…they’ll try and take it, just because it has Winchester blood running through its veins. Maybe I should have asked the doctor if it’s too late to consider abortion…”
“No way. I can see how badly you both want this, we’ll work it out. You and Dean are strong, you can do this.”
“By keeping it we’re being selfish. As a mother, it’s my job to protect my child and do what’s best and I can’t do that. So, I shouldn’t be having one. It can never be tortured or hurt if it’s never born…”
As the words leave your lips you hear heavy footsteps retreating followed by a door slamming. You turn around quickly.
“I told you, you both want this baby. I see your fears, but you can’t make a decision like this alone or out of fear. And for the record, I think it would be the wrong decision; you and Dean will figure this out, and you’ll be great parents.”
You nod before getting up to chase after your fiance. You knock softly on the door of your shared bedroom. When you don’t get a response you open it slowly. 
“Dean, honey, we need to talk about what you heard…what I said.”
“What’s there to talk about? You sound like you’ve already talked it all through with Sam. Besides, you’ve said it yourself, we were drunk when we conceived it was an accident and it never should have happened.”
“I haven’t talked everything through with Sam...”
“You do, I heard him earlier, ‘You finally took a test? Dean knows?’ How long has he known? You told me he didn’t know? You would barely let me bring it up, but you have no problem discussing it all with him?”
“It’s not what you think. He suspected since the proposal. He put the idea in my head. But I always denied it! I came clean with you first! I took the test with you! I love you, Dean!” 
“And the thought of aborting our baby…you never mentioned that to me but you talk to Sam? I get it’s your body, your choice and wherever, but I just thought we were a team…So, what is it? Is it because he’s smarter? Or is it just that you don’t want to discuss this with me?”
You walk closer to where Dean’s sitting on the floor next to the bed and kneel beside him. You reach for his hand but he jerks away. Your eyes fill with tears. “It’s none of that. You’ve been so excited and happy, and I love seeing you like that. I didn’t want to ruin that with my fears or thoughts.”
“So, you’d rather abort the baby and rip my heart out that way instead? I don’t think I’ve ever asked much of you, but please you need to talk to me! This! This is exactly why I always kept myself shut off! I always told knew this was a bad idea!”
“This?”
“Us! A long-term relationship! One-night stands can’t hurt you; there are no expectations. No secrets. No heartbreak.”
“Dean…please. Don’t say that. Can we talk about this please?”
“Now you wanna talk? No. Do what you want with the baby, you always know best,” Dean says coldly as he stands up.
“Please, Dean. Don’t do this! Don’t walk out on us!”
“I love you, and I always will. But I need some time,” he says as he walks out shutting the door behind him.
A loud sob escapes your body as you collapse on the floor in tears. You wrap your arms around your stomach protectively.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
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