#it's so close to exams
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me for the next 7 weeks
#studyblr#it's so close to exams#i need go keep studying#exam season#gcse studyblr#dying in a glue trap#remember to hydrate#hydrate or diedrate#hydrate or die straight
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I think one of my favourite character journeys in BSD has to be Kunikida learning to be better with kids because you'd expect it to be a fun wholesome character arc. Only, it ends up being heart breaking as it's immediately turned against Kunikida.
Despite the 'Dad status' that the fandom has given Kunikida, he was actually terrible with kids towards the start of the manga.
Take how he treated Atsushi in the first chapter. (Yes, Atsushi is not a little kid, but he was a starving and vulnerable orphan when they met.) When Kunikida and Dazai mention the 'man-eating tiger' Atsushi immediately freaks out and tries to run away.
What does Kunikida do? He grabs Atsushi, slams him to the floor and then threatens to break his arm for information.
It's Dazai of all people who has to reign Kunikida in reminding him "The boss himself warned you that the gathering of intelligence needn't be an interrogation". Dazai was the sweet talker and Kunikida was threat, even to a terrified, starving orphan.
Later with Kyouka, he's not much better. He attempts to intimidate her into giving the agency information. Whilst Atsushi now fulfils the role of the gentle approach. She's a mafia assassin after all, even if he knows she had no choice in it, Kunikida treats her as a threat before he treats her as a child.
Even with Aya, the interaction that gave Kunikida his 'dad status', he started off badly. But, it is here we start to see Kunikida trying to be better, trying to take a softer approach, even if he's clumsy with it.
When he realizes Aya was just handed a bomb, he snatches it from her and gets rid of it. That can't be helped it was a literal ticking time bomb, he then phones the authorities to deal with it. He was planning to leave, it's only because he caught sight of Aya sitting alone did he approach her. It wasn't his first instinct.
If he hadn't seen her in that moment, he might not have gone looking for her at all.
He asks her if she's alright and then she shocks him by wanting to hunt down the culprit. He rightfully tries to dissuade her, but again, he's not good with kids, he's blunt and argumentative with her.
Obviously, that's not going to convince a kid with a hero complex to not chase the bad guy.
However, his turning point, in my opinion, is when he realizes he has to choose between Aya and the people on the train. Now, he had already set off the stun grenade and is putting all his faith in Yosano finding them. He trusts her so he knows they are most likely going to be okay.
But Aya doesn't know that and he can't explain it all in the time they have. He sees a child who thinks she's about to die and is trying to be brave about it. And Kunikida comforts her. He needs her to know that she's not alone, that she's not going to suffer, that he is with her and he hugs her.
There was no need for him to step into that explosion with Aya except to comfort her. He chose to do that. Above his own life, he chose her needs.
And that's where this journey starts to get heartbreaking, because Kunikida hadn't always been like this. He was obviously always going to try and protect children, his ideals state as much, but he also didn't believe himself to be a hero. He doesn't see himself as someone capable or even worthy of that role.
So he built up a barrier around himself that made him harsher and more callous. He called it a professional detachment. He had to, it was to protect himself, to keep his sanity in those moment when they couldn't save everyone. Now it's breaking down and he's showing more and more how much he cares.
And it's immediately used against him.
The very scenario that got him to open up is placed in front of him again. A child with a bomb around their throat. Only this time Yosano isn't there, and this time Fyodor is orchestrating it.
And Kunikida does everything right. He tells Atsushi to leave and carry on the mission so he can stay and help the child. He gets on the child's level, makes himself small and none threatening. He reassures the child in gentle voice that everything will be okay.
And then, it's the line "How about a magic trick?" that really gets me, because he's trying so hard to present himself as someone trustworthy. And a magic trick is exactly what he pulled off with Aya, but it's what goes wrong here.
Because Fyodor planned it this time. He didn't just target children to get at Kunikida, he made a twisted mockery of what happened to Aya. Except she doesn't live this time and Kunikida can't bring this child any comfort or safety because Kunikida is the threat. This child dies alone and afraid because Kunikida was there, just like Fyodor planned.
Fyodor saw Kunikida bare his heart once and immediately reached in his chest and crushed it.
#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd kunikida#rambling#long post#And then there's what happened in Dazai's entrance exam#which probably explains why he's ended up so closed off from kids#because he couldn't save the one he took in the first time#and didn't want to go through it again#but this post already ended up long enough#so I'm calling it here
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Obbligato
#tw eyestrain#this is VERY experimental and was also drawn at 2 am so don't look at it too closely#was reading obbligato and felt inspired#also i'll start posting more consistently again as soon as i'm done with exams. hopefully#ensemble stars#enstars#enstars fanart#obbligato#tatsumi kazehaya#kazehaya tatsumi
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peter pettigrew is smart, he just has exam anxiety
#i see peter sirius and james portrayed as dumb sm when theyre not???#like i can get the ppl that say peter is but do not get sirius and james one???#but anyway. yes we see him panicking after an exam and not getting the question about werewolves#even tho he has seen a werewolf up close like every month#BUTTT that is so clearly exam panic!! like he manages to also be an animagus at 15 (very hard to do)#and also singlehandedly (pun maybe intented) beings voldy back from the dead (also hard thing to do)#and he's smart enough to fool all his friends and the order and dumbledore????#he's like one of those people that fully knows a subject and could spew about it for hours#than walks into the exam hall and suddenly knows absolutely nothing. hand shaking click ticking mindblanking. cant remember a thing#marauders era#peter pettigrew
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I think grieving single father exhausted nerdy out of the dating pool awkward Anakin is my favourite flavour of Anakin
Give him a self-conscious divorced Obi-Wan who thinks his young and beautiful neighbour could never be attracted to an old guy like him and I'm hooked
#i'm eating this like emotional support snacks during my exam periods#they're my favorite kind of au#old beaten obi-wan who's closed himself to everyone except his pretty and very young neighbour is obviously overwhelmed by his life#dealing with the twins and the grief coming from padme's death#what can he do except bring hot meals to his doorway and propose to watch the kids sometimes#and anakin is so grateful and so lost and so pretty with his thick eyelashes and wet eyes#he knows he can't date him because of the timing but#but he thinks about him all the time#only to discover that his feelings might be reciprocated over a misunderstanding ending in a dispute#omg what will happen then#obikin fanfic#obikin#anakin x obi wan#obi wan x anakin#star wars au#star wars#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi
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exams are making me want to kill myself and i want to rip my skin off i hate it here
^like this
#two more exams left and i’m free#winter break is so close but ending it all here is so tempting#tw suicide#tw sui talk#vent post#tw fake gore
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in the second level you can choose whether to give them a ladder or hammers to hit each other with
#iasip#charlie kelly#mac mcdonald#my art#yes..... my magnum opus................#cakyon draws worst iasip fanart of all time asked to leave tumblr#ive posted so much art so close together but this is probably it for now#i need to focus on important things like video games and crying over exam results
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thinking about how nezha laments “oh. but history moves in such cruel circles” right before stabbing rin in the back at the end of the dragon republic and she later answers with “oh, but history moved in such vicious circles” before forcing nezha to stab her in the heart at the end of the burning god
#i have no further conclusions other than this#i just finished the trilogy and i am a new woman#putting tpw on my prelim exams so i can close read it#what do the changes in punctuation/verb tense/adjective mean???#the poppy war#rinezha#fang runin#yin nezha
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other half
redraw screenshots taken from this post i made a while back ignore that i forgot to actually link it for like an entire day
#THE SILLIES#i have an exam in 9 hours and i haven't studied for it. kuwabara was more important (<- i'll be ok + i'll study soon)#yyh#yu yu hakusho#kazuma kuwabara#kuwabara kazuma#yusuke urameshi#urameshi yusuke#kuwameshi#yyh puu#idk what people tag him as... :/#also i hope it's not too obvious that i'm the least comfortable drawing yusuke outta the main four. idk what it is. the eyes? hm#like hiei i can't draw consistently but i usually like it anyway so whatever. but yusuke i just feel like i'm so close to getting it right#but i never quite get there. essence uncaptured vibes tarnished. but that's probably just me#also no kuwa would not steal a catalytic converter. it goes against his honor code as established in episode uhhh idk 7? the one w/ eikichi#skrunkart#haven't done one of these flat tone sketch pages in a while... i like them though they're pretty#though i kiiiinda gave up on the overall composition by the end </3. eh whatever at least it's out there now#also my favorites of this are the one of kuwa holding puu with like. club penguin eyes? and puu diving at kuwa's egg. i just think they're#ute. plus the one of kuwa sleeping holding puu w the thousand yard stare. idk just silly to me#anyway hopefully it's clear that i love kuwabara. the end
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Original here
#borderlands#handsome jack#every girl needs an emotional support dictator#“I can't die like this... not when I'm so close...” <- litany for surviving exam session#☀️
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I'm literally so useless, all I do is romanticise and even then I can't do it right. At times I wish for a tragedy to strike me in which I will have to send letters to my lover in secret. In the letters will be bittersweet poems and notes in which I turn over every corner of my heart, completely exposed and vulnerable. I will repeat exclamations of our love and confess how my dreams are haunted with their face, my body plagued with the ghost of their touch and my entire being is encaptured by their essence. These letters are sent via our only entrusted carrier, the only person we dare tell of our forbidden love. Our messenger who will one day betray me and tell the world of my scandalous love and yet as solemn as I am I will still smile towards him and just as he is about to question my intentions, I stab myself with my favourite obsidian dagger, the same one we secretly swore upon during the rising of the sun in previous years. It is then, as he looks into my eyes watching my soul leave my body, that he will understand this life was never meant for me. And I knew it. I knew it would never last, that he would betray me and how I wasn't truly built for love. What happens next doesn't concern me as I am gone. To a next life? An afterlife? Or just an abyss? Who knows? But in the end all that matters is that moments bliss, that short connection and that fleeting instance of humanity. And for me, that is enough.
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Happy pride with this Spock drawing 🏳️🌈
#star trek#star trek tos#star trek the original series#spock#s'chn t'gai spock#traditional art#fanart#art#pride#pride month#I don't think I'll be able to draw him a lot this month with the exams so close#but I'll try :)
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Baela and Jace wedding, save me please 🙏
#i'm so close to losing my sanity#because of my ongoing exams#i literally have a paper the day after the new episode releases#only a Jacaela wedding will save me now#be the power couple you were always meant to be#so i can drown in my syllabus freely#jacaerys velaryon#baela targaryen#jace x baela#hotd
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Last animation project of the semester! We were supposed to make a title sequence for a show/movie/game/whatever and I made one in an anime op-style of my OCs :]
#daisy’s ocs#animation#rough cuts oc#sana school stuff#a little rough around the edges but i'm glad i got it done#having ocs means you have to do everything yourself around here.#this was like a month of work#i'm so close to being freed guys i just have like 2 more exams next week and i'm done for the year#i can finally.... do what i want.....#i miss being a nuisance on here#oc winter#oc rosa#oc lily#oc aoka#oc chrissy#oc ivy#oc valerie#oc perenn#i've had them for roughly a decade and they mean dearly to me
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. 🍉😋✨
#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#hualian#xie lian#hua cheng#eming#ruoye#.my art#i’ve been churning out doodles like no tmr ☺️🌸💕#i guess it’s one way to burn off the exam steam !!!#annnnd happy thursday !!! we’re so close to the weekend !!! 🥳🎉🎉🎉
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