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sunmoonandeddie · 4 years ago

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and grace, my fears relieved

pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 2,623

summary: You meet someone new in the most unlikely of ways during the quarantine in New York City. A hospital isn’t the worst place to meet someone, right?

chapter warnings: swearing, both steve and the reader have covid-19, but neither die

masterlist

a/n: Let me know what you think!

The virus started out inconspicuously enough, with just a few cases here and there that everyone assumed would be quarantined and taken care of, but Steve was paranoid. How could he not be?

He’d been a sick kid. Real sick. And then when he was a teenager, he got some revolutionary kind of treatment for his heart and lungs and it was like his entire body had been kickstarted. He shot up a foot taller and gained over a hundred pounds.

He had the stretch marks to prove it.

Granted, he had to work a little to gain as much as he did. After the treatment, the weight gaining workouts and diet plans suddenly worked. He looked… normal. And then he buffed up. Real big.

It came in handy pretty often with his job. He had become a firefighter, and carrying people out of burning buildings was often part of the job.

Fires still happened in a quarantine. If anything, they happened more frequently because people were home and the number one cause of house fires was unattended cooking. A parent could be cooking any meal of the day and then their kid distracts them and boom. Fire.

So he worked overtime, day in and day out.

But that didn’t mean he wasn’t scared. He was scared shitless.

It was like his ma used to say, back when she was alive, “Just because you’re scared doesn’t mean you run away. You fight back for what’s right.”

Sarah Rogers had been a lot smarter than people assumed. She was a former socialite, and an Irish Catholic one at that. Her parents had an absolute conniption when she’d fallen in love with a former convict. His dad had been in and out of jail for petty things.

It certainly hadn’t been her choice to fall in love with him. But she had told him that if he didn’t get his act together, she wasn’t going to be with him.

He’d straightened himself up and become an outstanding citizen.

But that hadn’t stopped her family from disowning her. Once she refused to break up with him, she was out. Out of their house, out of their wills, everything.

She went from wearing Valentino and Chanel to items picked out at Goodwill.

But Steve’s parents had loved him more than anything.

He’d become a firefighter just like his dad. He wanted to help people just like him, and well… That’s what he was doing now.

Or had been, until his throat had started to hurt. And when it hadn’t let up three days later, even after a plethora of cough drops and teas, he went to the hospital.

It had only been about a month since it really started and the first dozen cases showed up in New York City. He’d been cautious—overly cautious, some might say—but he still had to go to work. And who knows how many people he’d come into contact with that had the virus?

It was still early days. He was able to get the test, and for that, he was lucky.

But then he had to go home and wait.

And then he got the call. He had to immediately go back to the hospital to be quarantined. He’d been put in a hospital room that was usually used as a private room in the Emergency Room—a trauma room, they called it. Trauma Room 2.

All of their other hospital rooms were taken. It was a lot worse than anyone had let on.

He was there for about twenty minutes before you got there, clearly terrified and holding a duffel bag full of clothes so you wouldn’t just have to wear the scratchy ass hospital gowns.

He’d only thought to bring two different pairs of sweatpants and a few sweatshirts, as well as his usual pairs of jeans.

But he was quickly finding that those weren’t too comfortable to wear while being quarantined.

Maybe he’d be able to convince someone to run down to the hospital gift shop to grab him something to wear. Some Brooklyn Hospital sweats or something.

“Hey.”

He looked up from his tablet, looking for the source of the voice. God, he was so tired. And everything hurt. There was only so much that honey could do for his voice.

“Hey! Over here!” The voice broke off into a coughing fit, and it sounded nasty. Real nasty. The kind of coughing that hacks up a lung.

He gets up out of his bed with a grunt, feeling like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. And not the big, strong shoulders he had no. The weak little skinny ones he had before. The ones where he could barely lift a gallon of milk in each hand without getting overworked.

You’re sitting on the ground, taking deep breaths as you try to catch your breath. “Hey,” you said with a weak smile. “You got any cough drops? I ran out and my nurse said she was gonna try to find me more two hours ago.”

There’s no medicine available to treat the virus. So they just treat the symptoms.

And there’s a severe shortage of cough medicine amongst the patients, but no one really mentioned that.

“Yeah,” he said as he walked over to his little bedside table. He opened the drawer, pushing the Bible left inside to the side and grabbing the cough drops. He grabbed four little individually wrapped pieces before dragging his feet back to the doorway.

He couldn’t lie, sitting down looked really nice right at that moment. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest just from walking that short distance. So he sunk to his knees and leaned back against the doorframe, on the opposite side that you were.

Even though he’d become a firefighter like his dad, he didn’t understand how he could have such a strong faith in God when things like this happened. Sitting across from you, seeing how tired and run down you looked, he wasn’t sure he believed at all. How could a God that claimed to be so benevolent and loving do this? Or at least not step in and do something to stop it?

“Did you bring the goods?” You asked with a bit of a laugh, before breaking off into a deep cough. “Fuck…”

“Me, too,” he said softly as he grabbed one of the cough drops and tossed it in your direction.

You groaned as it landed behind you, shooting him a glare. “Do I look like a basketball player to you?”

Steve let out a snort as he grabbed another one. “Okay, are you ready this time?” He asked, raising a single blonde brow.

“Oh, my god, yes. Please, just throw it,” you said, but there was a slight grin toying at the corner of your mouth.

“What’s the magic word?” He asked. This was, quite honestly, the most fun he’d had in ages.

You gave him a look that said you’d kill him if he didn’t give you a cough drop. “Give me a cough drop before I break down sobbing because it hurts so bad?” You deadpanned.

“Okay, okay. No need to get dramatic,” he said before he tossed another one. This one hit your forehead before falling into your lap.

“If you want dramatic, I can turn into a Disney princess right now,” you giggled. Your voice was weak, but it was hard to muster up the energy to talk sometimes. Actually, not even sometimes. Most times.

He watched you for a minute as you worked the wrapper of the cough drop off and popped it into your mouth. “I’m Steve. Steve Rogers.”

“Well, hello, Steve. Steve Rogers,” you said with a giggle, your words slightly distorted from the hard candy in your mouth. You gave him your name as he tossed you the other two cough drops.

It was nice to have someone to talk to. It had been four days since the two of you entered the hospital before you had called out to him. And yeah, he still had his phone. He texted and called Bucky everyday, but it wasn’t the same as having a face-to-face conversation.

It also kinda helped that you were really, really pretty, even when you were sick and exhausted.

In fact, he couldn’t remember anyone that he thought was as pretty as you.

“Stevie?” You said a week and a half later. It had gotten worse. So much worse. You had breathing tubes in, as well as an IV. His wasn’t as bad. He just required the IV.

Your nurses tried to get you to stay in your beds, but they soon gave up the fight, choosing instead to help the both of you move your chairs so you could talk to each other, separated by a hallway.

“Yeah, doll face?” Steve’s heart was hurting as he watched you with sad blue eyes. You were wrapped up in one of his hoodies, drowning in the fabric. He’d gotten Bucky to run by his apartment and grab him some more comfortable clothes, though he’d had to leave it with a doctor and wasn’t allowed to see him.

They couldn’t risk it. “They’re talking about a second wave,” you said as you wrapped your blanket tighter around you, pulling your knees up to your chest. “They wanna start opening things in late May… But it’s too early… I…” You swallowed thickly, your heart pounding against your rib cage. “I’m so scared, Stevie.”

“Hey…” There was nothing he wanted more than to be able to walk across the hall and take you into his arms. “Whatever happens, you’ve got me. You hear me? We’re in this together, okay? And we’re gonna make it. We’re gonna make it because we gotta.”

That night, he waited for the lights to go out and for the nurses to switch over to the night shift. A lot of the nurses weren’t as vigilant about taking care of them as the day shift, and he knew he could use that to his advantage.

He knew this was risky, but he had to do it.

Steve carefully got out of bed and dragged his monitor behind him, taking slow measured steps. He’d waited about an hour after rounds, knowing that they wouldn’t be coming for another three. It gave him plenty of time. He tiptoed across the hall after ensuring that the coast was clear, slipping into your room.

The room was bathed in a soft blue light coming from the open curtains, a billboard outside flashing. You looked so peaceful, finally asleep after tossing back and forth for hours. The blue tones glistened against your soft skin. You were so quiet that his eyes instinctively flickered over to the heart monitor, listening to the quiet beeping that reassured him that you were alive.

He wobbled the chair over to the side of your bed, being careful not to drag it so it didn’t squeak and alert a nurse or doctor. When it was finally in place, he sunk into it with a relieved sigh.

Your nose scrunched up at the faint noise.

“Dollface,” he whispered as he gently caressed your cheek, his heart pounding. This was the first time he’d ever gotten to touch you. This was the first time he’d been close enough to even attempt it.

Your eyes fluttered open, blinking sleepily at him. “Stevie?”

“Hey…,” he said softly as he traced the patterns of her face. “It’s me… Don’t worry…”

“What are you doing here?” You asked, her voice a hoarse whisper. “We’re supposed to be—”

“I know,” he said as he gently scratched your scalp. “But I’m worried… And you need me.”

You slowly relaxed back against your pillow as your eyes searched his face. He liked when you were soft like this.

Well, he liked you all the time, but still. He liked you most when you were sleepy and relaxed.

“How are you feeling?”

With a shrug, you let your eyes close again. “I don’t know… I’ve been better.” A sigh escaped your lips as you opened your eyes again, trying your best to not melt too far into him. You didn’t want to fall asleep when this was the first time you’d gotten to feel him near. “We’re lucky… Our cases aren’t as bad as what others are going through…”

That was true. Others were on respirators, going into comas. You two were lucky.

And he was so grateful for that.

“I was thinking…,” he murmured.

A snort. “That’s never good.”

He gave you a look, raising his brows. “Apparently people aren’t… completely better even after they’re cleared of the virus…,” he said. He was watching your face carefully for any sign of a reaction. “And I live alone. And you said you have roommates but two of them are considered essential workers, which means there’s a risk of you getting it again… And I was just thinking…”

“Yeah?...” You probed, sitting up a little.

“We’re gonna need someone to help us… without risking the others that we love, and I just…” He coughed to clear his throat, his cheeks red. “I was thinking maybe you could move in for a little while? Maybe until all this has passed? And we can… we can…”

Your eyes flickered over his face. “We can take care of each other?”

Steve nodded, swallowing around the lump that had formed in his throat. “Yeah. We can take care of each other… I’ll have your back and you’ll have mine. And maybe it’s quick, but... ”

Can’t you feel it? He wanted to ask. Can’t you feel this thing between us? This connection that was found and fostered in possibly the darkest time of this generation’s existence? This love that made me think that maybe there is a Grace in the world? Because otherwise, how the hell would I have been able to find you?

But he knew that was probably a lot, even if the feeling he had when he looked at her was a little bit more than like.

“But… you barely know me.”

“That’s not true,” he breathed out quietly, a finger running down your jaw. “I know about your family. I know your first pet’s name and where it’s buried. I know that you like white Christmas lights over rainbow because you like how it can look like snow if it’s done right.”

Tears were in your eyes, your cheeks flushed as you listened to him.

A smile crept up on his lips. “I know you like the citrus flavored cough drops, and you have to sleep with a blanket on, even if it’s eighty degrees outside. I know how much you love cheesy rom-coms and you can only watch horror movies at night because otherwise you’ll have nightmares.” His forehead rested against hers, your noses brushing. “I know you. And I wanna take care of you. When we get out of here, I don’t want to forget you. I want to spend my life with you. And maybe that’s too much too soon and more than a little cheesy, but—”

“Stevie…” You were the one who leaned in first and pressed your lips to his, the salty taste of your tears mixing in with your peppermint chapstick. “I’m not easy to take care of. I’m even more stubborn when I’m feeling helpless like I am now…”

“That’s okay,” he said as he pecked your lips again, letting it linger. The two of you knew that a nurse could come down the hall any second and catch you, but it didn’t matter. You were together and you were alive. “I don’t need easy. I just need you.”

#steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #steve x you #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve x y/n

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thegreatbigfourmain · 3 years ago

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Dancing With Dragons

He knew something was wrong the moment he came to his senses. His entire body trembled with pain as he was forced to awaken from his blissful and painfully unaware sleeping state. The sound of beeping monitors and the soft echo of shoes tapping on hard floors rose once his eyes opened. Moments later, a doctor was there to greet him and inform him they were at the hospital, yet still on base. The battered-up brunet saw a glimpse of himself in a mirror given by a nurse. His hair was matted and dirty, his body stitched and bandaged.

It took the doctor a moment before telling him that not only was he being sent home on an honorable discharge, he also had a terrible accident. It wasn’t losing his men or killing civilians, as one would assume. The tragic loss was the left stump that was now his leg, bleeding through the bandages. His green eyes widened at the sight. No words left his lips as his entire body shut down. As a result, the doctor pumped his IV with morphine to cause the soldier to rest. However, the shock never truly left him.

In all honesty, he wasn't too proud of going off to the Marines like he had. He thought that if he left his art scholarship and went to the army, his dad might actually be proud of him. And for a moment, the old man was. With his buzz cut and high rankings through bomb tech and military tacticians, he had been put in the hand of his squad. His father was proud of him every day.

Yet, it only took a single bomb to set back everything. He came home taller with lean ropes of muscle, a haircut and a foot gone. The looks of sympathy were worse than the disapproval. He spent months in the hospital and physical therapy, though it did nothing to help his mental state. His hair grew out back to the long length it had once been and he could actually walk in a straight line with his prosthetic, yet he still felt as weak as he was all those years ago. Even as a twenty-seven-year-old man, he still looked to his father for approval and now only saw that same disappointment.

There wasn’t anything he could do to change that’s man mind.

***

Today, Hiccup Haddock the Third found himself outside a small dance studio recommended by his redheaded, Scottish doctor. To say he was nervous would be an understatement.

The brunette sighed, looking down at the floor of the car.

“You ready?” his best friend asked from the driver’s side.

The man grumbled, “No. Take me home.”

Jack scoffed and turned off the car as to not waste the gas. Hiccup knew what that meant; a lecture from good ole’ Jack Frost.

“Doc said it was going to help your coordination and that this girl was a good friend of hers. She’s not even going to charge you! What’s the worse that could happen?” the white hair male asked.

Hiccup gave him a look, “I fox trot myself into falling on my ass?”

Jack narrowed his eyes, “Get out of the car and go get better or so help me I will pull you out myself.”

The brunet rolled his green eyes before opening the door and lifting his legs awkwardly out of the vehicle. He slowly stood up, only to bend down and look back at his buddy.

“Two o’ clock right?”

“I’ll be here. I promise,” Jack said with a smile. The veteran closed the door and with a sigh, wobbled his way toward the dance studio. He was still slow in his walk and looked stiff. He refused to use a cane as it only furthered his disappointment and loss of his normality. Besides, it was mostly the pain that bothered him rather than his appearance.

Everything inside him screamed that this was a bad idea.

His father had ingrained in him that real men don’t need help. Then again, he wanted a lot out of his fishbone of a son that didn't have much to give in the first place.

Hiccup walked up to the door as the colorful fall leaves crunched under his boots. He wore a pair of dark jeans and a button up dark green shirt with a warm leather jacket over it. Now that his hair was long, he used a ponytail to tie it back. It showed off more of his sharp jawline and many, many freckles.

He hesitantly knocked on the door.

Many thoughts swirled in his mind at the moment. Dr. DunBroch could have at least showed him a picture of her friend to ease his nerves. If she was cute, then this would most definitely end badly. If she wasn’t attractive to him, then it still probably end with him falling on his ass.

With an awkward turn on his good foot, he only waited a second before heading back to the sidewalk. Hiccup was at the ready to pull out his phone to call Jack to turn around.

Hiccup dialed Jack's number as the autumn wind tried to penetrate through his thick jacket. He hated the cold. The worst part of being out in the desert was the nights. It was always freezing.

He brought the phone up to his ear, his other hand in his jacket pocket.

As the phone rang, he heard the door behind him open.

“Hi, I’m Rapunzel. Are you Hiccup?”

He turned to see who called his name. The person before him made his eyes widened. Oh this is bad. This is very, very bad.

She was beautiful.

She was a petite woman who wore a strapped rose pink dress that brought out the pink of her cheeks and the spring green of her doe eyes. Her hair was held up in a messy bun of golden strands. There was no makeup on her face to taint the natural beauty she possessed. Her lips were in a natural pout as she waited for him to answer.

He gulped, ignoring the voice that yelled at him on the other end of the phone line.

He decided this was much worse than what his imagination concocted in his head. The last thing he wanted was to be exposing his flaws and handicap by falling all over the place in front of a beautiful woman. Warmth flooded his cheeks to the tips of his ears. He gave her an awkward smile, hanging up the phone and putting it in his pocket. Hiccup took a couple of careful steps towards the door, though he still wobbled a bit.

The brunet stopped to take a deep breath, his smile gone from what he was about to say. His green eyes filled with a bit a self-loathing, but mostly embarrassment.

“Umm, hi. Yeah, I’m Hiccup. Dr. DunBroch referred me here, but I think it would be best to continue going back to physical therapy. This dancing thing isn't for me. I was never coordinated, even before my accident. I'm sorry if I wasted your time.”

He could see her face fall when he told her that he wouldn’t be taking her class. It seemed like she was almost looking forward to it. No, it couldn't be that. Injured veterans are charity cases. She was probably just trying to validate herself through some civic duty to a soldier. Just another person to pity him.

These emotions made Hiccup turn around. He couldn’t take looking at her hurt face any longer. He closed his eyes tightly at how stupid he must have sounded. He took out his phone again while walking stiffly towards the sidewalk once more.

All he heard was a soft “Oh, of course. No worries” from her before the door closed behind him, leaving him out in the autumn wind.

Haddock you asshole, he thought to himself.

He called Jack again.

“What?”

“I’m ready to go home.”

“You didn’t even go to the class, did you?”

“This is stupid. I want to go home.”

“Your doctor said this was the best chance you have to walk normally that’s faster than therapy. You can’t just walk away because you’re uncomfortable!”

“I can figure it out myself. And I’m not walking away. It just isn’t for me.”

“I’m not picking you up.”

“Then I’ll walk.”

“Are you crazy? You can barely walk as it is! No offense.”

“How is that not offensive?”

Hiccup was about to utter something to his supposed best friend when he felt a small tap on his shoulder. It made him turn around, his phone still up to his ear with Jack barraging him.

The petite blonde stood behind him, out in the cold with her dance outfit on.

She smiled at him and handed him her card. “Here. It’s my business card,” she explained.

“I know you may not want to now, or ever. But if you ever do want to have a session in the future, I just wanted you to know you have other options. I may not be a licensed physical therapist, but I do know a few things about dance,” she joked, letting out the most melodious giggle Hiccup’s ever heard.

Her words were almost lost on him because he found himself looking into her green eyes now that they were closer. They were green like summer grass. He felt like he was getting lost in all that was simple about her. That’s what it was. She was simple, uncomplicated and without drama. His whole life had been a series of problems and complications. Hell, his name was Hiccup: he was a mistake and a problem within itself. Even his own occupation was full of bomb techs, guns, drills, training and war mechanics. When he got home it was hospitals and surgeries, family issues and planning. She seemed so simple.

Hiccup reached for the card and, in doing so, gently brushed his fingertips with hers. That short contact caused jolts of electricity to run up his arm, followed by a bright crimson blush flustering his face.

“Oh, th-thank you,” he muttered out. She gave him one more heart-stopping smile before spinning around in a dancer’s fashion and going back into the building.

“Hiccup? Hic who was that?” Jack’s voice finally registering into the memorized brunet.

“Th-that was my instructor. Sorry Jack, I gotta go. See you at 2,” Hiccup rapidly uttered before stuffing his phone once again into his pocket and following the direction of where the blonde beauty went.

When he did catch up to her, she was beginning to put her speaker away and looked like she was closing up shop. Hiccup cleared his throat before knocking on the open door and entering.

The blonde glanced towards him, tilting her head to the side a bit like an adorable curious puppy.

“Hiccup?”

He chuckled at that, whether it be to hide his incredibly nervous emotions or because the way she said his name was on the rapidly growing list of what he enjoyed hearing from her; her giggle being the first.

“I, I’m sorry about before... This is all so foreign to me,” he started.

She placed the speaker aside and began to walk towards him, Hiccup doing the same until the pair met in the center of the room with only their reflections in from the ballet mirrors to accompany them.

“Well, If you’re up for it, I don’t mind helping you get un-foreign to it,” she grinned, her smile never failing to clench the inside of Hiccup’s chest.

What was this girl doing to me?

“What the heck, let’s do it.”

What did he just get himself into?

#dancing with dragons #drabble #another old thread with #choasatitsfinest #rewrite #hiccunzel #not the best in terms of grammar but fuck it I'll worry about that in my research papers

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 5 years ago

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Not Stupid

Summary: After a hunt goes wrong, the reader and Sam are injured and it only gets worse from there...

Pairing: Dean x reader

Square: Episode Re-write (11x17)

Word Count: 2,000ish

Warnings: language, life threatening injury, possible death, referenced drug overdose, 11x17 spoilers

A/N: Written for @spngenrebingo

____

“Y/N!” said Dean as you felt a bullet rip through your side. You gasped and dropped to your knees besides Sam who was already pressing his palms to his stomach and sporting a gunshot of his own. Dean left the victims from the attempted werewolf feasting and ran over. You waved him off to Sam as you lifted up your shirt and coat.

“Fuck, this was my favorite jacket too,” you said, feeling the hole through the back.

“You’re a through and through, sweetheart,” said Dean. You hummed and took off your jacket and flannel, wadding the shirt up as you watched Dean shakily tear open a few of the padding packs from the first aid kit in the duffel.

“Dean, put it in the wound, baby. It’ll work better,” you said. “Sam, it’s gonna hurt.”

“Already...fuck!” shouted Sam, his whole body tensing up as Dean winced.

“You’re okay,” said Dean, tossing a pad in your direction.

“Sam needs-”

“Y/N. Take. It,” said Dean. You grumbled and opened the pad, shoving it against your abdomen on the front side. You tied your flannel tight around it, the back hopefully wadded up enough to soak up the blood there.

You turned back to Sam who Dean was helping get to his feet.

“Y/N. You okay?” asked Dean, half carrying Sam towards the door.

“Yeah,” you said. “Flesh wound. Come on you guys.”

You waved over the man and woman sitting on the step, the woman looking a little worse for wear.

“There’s more werewolves out there,” said Corbin.

“We’ll get out of here. Stick close.”

“He’s slowing us down,” mumbled the man about fifteen minutes later.

“Shut up,” you and Dean snapped back at him. He stared at you and kept walking with his wife. You went to Sam’s side and gave him a smile.

“Doing okay big guy?” you asked.

“Awesome,” he hissed. “You?”

“I’m okay. Just a bad graze,” you said. You caught his arm when he stumbled a bit.

“Come on,” said Dean, nodding to a ranger’s station up ahead. “We’ll stop and rest for a minute.”

Corbin grunted as he helped Michelle inside. They settled into a chair in the corner for a moment as you leaned against the counter in the front.

“How’s it going, Sammy?” asked Dean, walking around the cabin and finding a towel, handing it to Sam. Sam grunted but nodded. “We’re gonna get you fixed up just like that. Don’t you worry about a thing.”

“You guys gotta go,” said Sam, wincing. “I can’t move fast and if he’s right and there’s more out there-”

“I will carry you out of here if I have to,” said Dean.

“I second that,” you said with a smile.

“How about you?” asked Dean.

“I’ve had periods worse,” you joked, glad that it seemed like you’d stopped bleeding at least. You hoped. “It’s okay.”

“Guys, she needs a doctor,” said Corbin, Michelle resting in the chair.

“Take a number,” said Dean. “Sammy, stay here and rest a minute. We’ll be right back.”

“Where are we going?” you asked.

“To build him a stretcher,” said Dean, grabbing your bloody hand. “You sure you’re okay?��

“Yeah,” you said. “I’m fine.”

“What the fuck happened?” you said, Dean kneeling down over Sam’s body when you ran back not five minutes later after spotting more werewolves.

“He just fell over,” said Corbin. You closed your eyes, Dean standing up slowly. “We need to go, those things-“

“Let ‘em come. I’ll gut them,” said Dean. “You ready for a fight?”

You leaned back against the counter, Dean tilting his head back.

“No, you’re not,” he said. He kicked the counter and squeezed his eyes shut. “Let’s go.”

“Dean-“

“You need a hospital,” he said as he grabbed his bag. “I will take you three out and then I will come back here and I will fix him, understand?”

“I’m-“

“I am not losing both of you on the same goddamn night,” said Dean. You nodded, wanting nothing more than to wrap him up in a hug and tell him it was okay, to pretend to yourself that it was okay. You looked back at Sam, Dean grabbing your hand. “The quicker we go, the quicker we can get him back.”

“Do not sell your soul or I swear I’ll kick your ass, Winchester,” you mumbled. He grabbed your hand and started to head for the door.

“Let’s move it. Now.”

“Almost out,” said Dean as you saw the bushes start to clear ahead. You hummed and had your head resting on his shoulder as you walked. “You lost more blood than you said.”

“I’m tired. I’ll live. You can’t do something stupid, Dean. There’s got to be a better way,” you said.

“I’m going back for him. I’ll get him to Baby and we’ll deal with it then,” he said.

“No stupid,” you mumbled, tripping a little.

“Fine. No stupid,” he said as he caught you. You had your eyes shut when Dean all of a sudden left your side. You flew them open, Dean waving down a cop car from the looks of it. You watched him talk to the officer before he was heading back towards the woods, the officer grabbing him. You hummed and shut your eyes again, hearing a taser go off before you hit the ground.

“‘Sup,” said Billie when you flew open your eyes. You groaned as you realized you were in a hospital hallway.

“Y/N? What…” said Dean.

“I said no stupid!” you said, storming over and ready to give him a piece of your mind. “You…”

You realized there was no reason he should have been able to see Billie at the same time as you, no reason he should have been able to see you unless…

There was some kind of commotion to your right. Turning your head you saw Dean on the floor, a doctor, a cop and Michelle leaned over him.

“What did you do,” you said, glaring at him, whacking his shoulder as your eyes teared up. “What did you do!”

“You and Sammy,” said Dean, swallowing hard. “You’re dying. You’re dying and Sam’s dead and-”

“Actually, he’s not. Trust me, I’d know,” said Billie. Dean shook his head and Billie shrugged. “You two on the other hand are headed there. One of you is going to the empty. So. Who’s it gonna be?”

“You can go straight to-”

Dean suddenly coughed and sucked in a breath, rolling over on the floor, glancing over to where you were standing.

“Looks like it’s gonna be you,” said Billie, looking you up and down.

“Sam’s not dead?” you asked.

“I’m not lying, Winchester,” she said. She held out a hand. “It’s time. Come with me or when they’re both done for real, I’ll toss them into nothing too.”

“I have no way of knowing you won’t do that anyways,” you said. You took a step back, Billie narrowing her eyes.

“No. You don’t,” she said. You opened your mouth to speak when you heard a loud noise behind you, Dean rushing past you on his phone. There was a scream a short while later and you took the opportunity to follow Dean. “Fine. Stay stuck here. Don’t bother calling when you get sick of it.”

“Leave us alone, Billie,” you said. You ran down a hallway and saw the dead officer, Dean shooting at a very werewolf looking Corbin. He knocked the gun away though and Dean fell back, Corbin ready to lunge. “Back. Off.”

You flew Corbin back towards the other end of the hall, Dean looking around before he went for his gun.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he said as he got his hands on it again. Corbin rushed again but new shots rang out, Sam panting as he appeared. Corbin hit the deck and you sighed, leaning back against the wall. “Sammy?”

“I could use with a doctor right about now.”

“Is she gonna be okay?” asked Dean after they’d helped clean up everything.

“She lost a lot of blood and I can guarantee moving her right now will kill her,” said the doctor. You sat on the edge of your bed, your body pale looking. “I know you two need to get out of here but she can’t come with you.”

“Jane Doe. List her as a Jane Doe, not related to this crap with the missing hiker’s at all,” said Dean. “Keep her alive a few hours. I’ll be back.”

“I can’t promise anything,” said the doctor.

“I said no stupid, Dean,” you said, looking over at him. Dean nodded and took off with Sam. You shut your eyes. “No stupid, Dean. You promised.”

“What the hell is this?” asked the doctor when Dean held out a syringe a few hours later.

“Give it to her,” said Dean.

“I’m not giving-”

Dean rolled his eyes and stabbed it into your IV line, the doctor throwing up her hands. You watched from the other side of the bed, your vitals still low on the monitor.

“Come on, come on, come on,” mumbled Dean.

All of a sudden you were back in your body, shooting up like a bullet and gasping.

“How the-” said the doctor, pushing Dean out of the way. You lifted up your shirt, your wound gone. “What?”

“I’m interested in knowing what happened as well,” you said. Dean nodded but set a duffel on the end of the bed.

“Change first. I’ll explain on the way home.”

“Dean, what exactly was that?” you asked not ten minutes later. Dean rested his head in his hand as he drove. “I swear-”

“You know I love you, right?”

“Of course I know that.”

“You love me too and you were so fucking...when we met on that hunt back in the fall, I hated you. You saved my life and I hated you,” he said.

“Dean?” you asked.

“I always had this weird feeling. I don’t fall in love with someone like that. Love at first sight isn’t real. It’s not, not even a glimmer of it. But you wormed your fucking way in just like that,” he said. You stared at him as he drove, Dean quiet for a few minutes. “The cure I gave you, I had no idea if it would work or not. I had a suspicion but no idea. Now that it did, I know for sure.”

“Know what?”

“The reason I fell so hard and so fast was because you’re my soulmate,” he said. You blinked and he laughed. “I’m sorry you got the short end of it but it’s true. The cure needed blood from your soulmate and well, it worked so there’s your-”

“I didn’t get the short end of anything,” you said, reaching over and taking his hand. “I promise.”

“Yeah you did.”

“Well suck it up, Winchester cause I’m not changing my mind on this one,” you said. He didn’t speak. He held onto your hand in silence though, stroking his thumb over the back of it. “Sam okay?”

“Yeah. Resting at home,” he said. “He doesn’t know about the whole...overdosing thing.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” you said.

“Thanks,” he said. “The story is we just went to get the hikers and you out and I was coming back for him.”

“Alright. One condition though,” you said.

“I know. No more stupid. One day I’ll listen, sweetheart.”

_______

#spngenrebingo #supernatural #spn #dean x reader #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean #winchester #dean spn

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cryxmercy · 4 years ago

Text

‘Tis But a Flesh Wound || Mercy & Erin (Flashback)

Beer and knives and immortal secrets, oh my.

When: A Saturday night in the recent past, before the Season One Finale Where: Mercy’s apartment Who: Mercy and Erin @corpse--diem

TW: violence, blood (non-medical), stabbing, mentions of stabbing, alcohol, drunken shenanigans, mentions of hypothetical murder, mentions of manipulation

Mercy couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this drunk. Hell, Mercy couldn’t remember what she’d done that morning. Not after nearly a dozen beers. Which was honestly more than she usually drank. But when someone else was drinking with her - Erin had finally had time to come by and do some basic self-defense training - it was easy for Mercy to get ‘into her cups.’ Which is exactly where she was now. Metaphorically speaking.

Physically, she was standing in her living room, what furniture she had pushed to the side (beer bottles stacked neatly in a tower on the coffee table) trying to teach Erin how to do a proper choke hold. “See…. you gotta… you gotta compress both arteries…” Mercy - who was the one in the chokehold - adjusted Erins arm so that it wrapped around her neck properly. Or as proper as possible when the two of them were drunk off their asses. Which wasn’t very proper at all. “Make sure aaaaalll the blood’s gettin’ cut off to their brain. Just make sure when they pass out you let go or well… I guess it’s win/win for you since…” Mercy snorted a laugh. “You’d get another customer if you kill a guy…”

There was no question that this was a bad idea. Of all the bad ideas that Erin had lately, this one was the best. She didn’t expect to learn a whole hell of a lot, especially after she watched Mercy knock back her eighth (or ninth?) bottle of beer. Honestly, she’d lost track. But that had been about the time Erin was finishing up her fifth when the blonde storm yanked her up and started moving furniture around. Oh. Right. She’d almost forgotten this part.

Yep. Bad idea confirmed the very second she tried to stand straight. “Listen, I know arteries,” she argued, a teasing laugh in her voice. But she did her best to reel herself back in while Mercy maneuvered her arms. Every ounce of her concentration went into following her directions very carefully. “Let’s see about this before I go propping up my own business, yeah?” She laughed, her arms firm but not squeezing yet. “I can’t decide if you’re brave or stupid for letting me do this right now,” she paused, a grin taking over her face. “Ready and--GO!” In the next beat, she was squeezing exactly how Mercy had shown her. “Am I doing it?!” She asked, trying to peak over Mercy’s shoulder.

Bad ideas could be good ideas. It was all a matter of perspective. And Mercy’s perspective was that this was a very good idea. Mercy had no idea how many beers she’d put back. She just… drank them. A thousand years of drinking plus a Fury metabolism made her tolerance… pretty high. But not so high that she wasn’t drunk off her ass at this point.

Mercy snorted a laugh at Erin’s assurances about her anatomical knowledge, but took her word for it (as much as one could while piss drunk). “Why not… why not both?” she laughed in between maneuvering Erin’s arms. “I’ve never been… a coward… not a day in my life…” That wasn’t exactly true. But Mercy wasn’t thinking all that clearly. Which explained why when Erin applied pressure to Mercy’s neck again she still continued to giggle. Or tried to… since Erin was apparently a quick study. So the laughter sounded a bit choked off… because it was. Though Mercy gave her an excited thumbs up in answer to her question. She tapped her arm to signal her to let up a bit. “I can show you… how to get outta this… or I can show you how to stab somebody... and not kill ‘em?” Because sharp objects were perfectly safe in their current state.

There was a gleam in Erin’s eye as Mercy’s voice and laughter started to sputter out in short chunks. She was doing it! Oh shit--she was really doing it. She let go as soon as she recognized that the hand smacking her arm meant can’t breathe, please stop. “Oh fuck, sorry,” she responded quickly, though the bellowing laugh that followed didn’t hold as much regret as it should have. And why should it? She’d gotten it right on her first try--she was allowed to be proud of that, right? She stepped back, a little pep in her step as she snagged a fresh beer, bringing out another one for the blonde while she was at it.

“Here--for your throat,” Erin teased and took a long sip of the cool beverage. This was nice. She was actually having fun, which was a far cry from most of her stress-filled days lately. She’d enjoy it as long as she could--probably until one of them actually got hurt or the alcohol got the better of them. It was her turn to sputter, nearly choking on her beer. “You want to show me how to stab someone?” Right now? In her state? She’d seen a thousand fatal stab wounds but a nonfatal one was new. Given her general anatomical knowledge, she could probably figure it out once she was a little more sober. But this way sounded way more fun and she decided to let the chaos that came with her sixth beer take over. “Oh, hell yeah,” she quickly moved, jabbing her in the side with her finger. “And the other thing too. But I’ve gotta know the stabbing thing first.”

Mercy laughed as Erin released her. “It’s good… it’s all… good…” She rubbed her neck, showing Erin no harm done. “You’re a quick study… you’ll be chokin’ dudes out for real in no time…” Mercy took the offered beer with a grin of thanks and turned it back, draining half the bottle in one go. It wasn’t often she did… this. This being… just hanging out with someone she considered a friend. No overhanging dread, no threat of imminent death or dismemberment. Just two women being drunk and silly for a little while.

She set the bottle aside with the other dozen and wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. “Uh, yeah… I do… ‘cause sometimes you just… gotta stab a guy. But you might not wanna… kill a guy. Though sometimes you gotta do that too.” Mercy waved a hand. “But ‘s’fine…. ‘s’alright… ‘s’a little knife…” She pulled said ‘little knife’ from her pocket. And it was just a short, fat pocket knife. Probably couldn’t do much damage unless you… stuck it in someone’s neck. Or their eye… or… the base of the skull…

But anyway. They were talking about nonfatal. So. Mercy waved Erin closer. “You gotta… stick it somewhere an’ then… twist it-” She made the motion - sort of - with her hand. “- so the wound won’t close good. They’ll bleed…” Mercy giggled. “And it’ll fuckin’hurt… but it won’t… it won’t murder nobody. Probably.” After showing Erin - as much as one drunk person could show another drunk person anything - how to properly hold the little knife, as well as where to strike non-lethally, Mercy backed up a bit. “Now… come at me…” She motioned with both hands as she took up a mostly defensive position. “Try to stab me… it’ll be fine…”

Because this was a good idea. It really, really was…

Oh, this was a bad idea. Erin knew that already, and from the look in Mercy’s eyes she could tell that she knew it too. Especially when she brought out the fucking knife. “Oh, this is dumb,” was her immediate answer, wagging her finger over at her friend. She said the words and knew in her bones that this was very dumb. Didn’t stop the logical part of her that she killed two beers ago from taking the knife anyway. “Right. No murder,” Erin echoed Mercy’s words, practicing the manuever and gestures she’d just seen her do. “Alright, alright. I got this,” she nodded, maybe a little too confidently. But she wasn’t that stupid. Drunk, sure, but not--

Her entire body froze. One jab. It had taken one fucking jab for the blade to sink effortlessly into the skin of Mercy’s arm. “Oh, fuck. Oh fuck,” she hollered, wide eyes bouncing between the knife in her arm and Mercy’s face. Yet still, her hand still on the hilt, did she move. “What do I do?” She stared intensely at the other woman, panic setting in where her good sense should’ve been to begin with. “This was dumb,” she suddenly added, breaking her stillness to point a finger at the blonde.

“‘S’fine,” Mercy said, gesturing vaguely. It was dumb. Considering their states. It was also a bad idea. But as bad ideas went, it wasn’t that bad. Mercy had had way worse ideas when under the influence of alcohol or other things. RIP the City of London that one time, amiright? Besides, Erin had this. She was practical. Smart. Knew her limits. It’s not like she would really be able to-OH. Oh.

Mercy froze at the same time Erin did. Well that was unexpected. “Okay… okay… just…” Mercy did her best not to giggle under breath at the situation, knowing Erin was probably Not Okay right now. So she held up her own finger at her friend. “Okay. One: don’t freak out, m’kay? ‘S’fine. Two-” Mercy blinked slowly. “-OW. Three: imma show you somethin’, hm?” She waved Erin’s finger away. This wasn’t dumb. Mercy had been stabbed before. The wound wasn’t deep, and it hadn’t hit anything important, even though it was bleeding down her arm. What happened next was dumb. And in hindsight, it could’ve been very, very dangerous. But Mercy trusted Erin.

“Watch…” Without much preamble, other than to make sure Erin was paying attention, Mercy pulled the knife out of her arm and wiped the blood away with her hand. “Look…” She pointed at the stab wound. “Don’t freak out…” As they both watched, the bleeding slowly stopped, and the edges started to mend back together until there was only a thin, pink scar on Mercy’s arm. That too would likely fade with time. “‘S’cool, right?”

Staring at the knife in Mercy’s arm sobered Erin up faster than a pot of coffee through an IV. Felt like it anyway, the longer she looked. Was--was Mercy laughing? Did she not feel the whole ass knife sticking out of her? Maybe it was a good thing she was as drunk as she was--maybe she didn’t even feel it at all. A small miracle in the midst of this idiocy? “I’m not freaking out.” A lie, clearly, and she backtracked. “Okay, I am. And you’re not. Which is weird. Really weird. If you stabbed me I’d definitely--” Mercy was shooing Erin away and she watched the blood trickle down her arm.

Oh no. “I don’t think you’re supposed to--” But before she could protest, Mercy yanked it out and Erin couldn’t hold back the horrified gasp that overcame her. “Jesus, you just--” She cut herself off again. Between the panic and the alcohol, forming full fledged sentences felt impossible. But her brain started catching up with her common sense. She was bleeding. Just when Erin was about to turn and run into the bathroom for anything to clean her up with, something changed.

The wound was healing. It was quiet for a good few minutes as she watched. Blinked a few times to make damn sure she hadn’t actually just passed out. But this was happening. It was healing. Slowly, but it was happening. When Mercy spoke again, Erin’s eyes jumped back up to meet hers and all the urgency rushed out of her. “Cool, cool, cool,” she repeated incredulously. It was pretty cool, actually, but she was still playing mental catch-up. So--Mercy wasn’t human. Seemed to be a common thread between most of her friends. Just not any she’d known as long as the one in front of her. Her head tilted to the side, hands resting on her hip. “We’re… gonna talk about this, right?” She glanced back down to her arm, then back up.

“Nahh…” Mercy waved off the ‘not freaking out.’ “I’ve been stabbed… doze- no. Hundreds of times. Maybe thousands.” Mercy proceeded to yank the blade out of her arm - it really was fairly shallow, and had missed anything important - and wipe the blood off on her pants. If she had been sober, Erin’s own panic would’ve been far more concerning, but since neither of them was anywhere near clear-headed, Mercy just reached out and patted her friend on the arm.

“‘S’fine… see?” She pointed to the slowly healing wound. “All better.” The knife was folded shut and tossed onto the couch, where it bounced and disappeared into the cushions. Mercy laughed to herself before turning back to Erin. The other woman was looking at her with an expression that for some reason caught Mercy’s attention much easier than any of the previous ones had. Mercy’s eyes followed Erin’s, down to her arm and back. Her own head tilted to match her friends. “Waaaiiiitt a minute… are you…” Mercy narrowed her eyes. “You know about… things. Dontcha?” Her expression turned to an excited grin. “Holy shit! Why didn’t you tell me?! This is… fantastic! What d’you know about? Like… vampires and fae and shit? Tell me.”

For someone who’d just been stabbed, Mercy had been incredibly nonchalant about the whole thing. Even the way she brushed the blood off and tossed the knife away like it was some toy had been handled with little care. “Didn’t that even hurt?” Erin had to ask, narrowing her eyes, which were still glued to the small pink scar that had formed.

Erin straightened her back at the woman’s question. “Yeah, I uh--I know things,” she nodded with the authority of a woman who knew more than what Erin actually knew. This whole… supernatural thing was an ocean she was still just belly deep in. She could still see the beach but there was a big blue vastness far ahead of her. “Vampires, fae, the whole shebang,” she confirmed. Alcohol. Oh, she just remembered alcohol existed. She turned for the first time since they’d started practicing back to her beer. Eyed Mercy the whole time she took a sip, gesturing towards her with her other hand. “So, what does that make… you?” She winced as soon as the question left her mouth. “Wait, sorry. Is that rude? Can I just... ask that?”

“Sure it hurt… it’s a fuckin’ knife in my arm,” Mercy snorted. “No point cryin’ over it though.” Mercy was used to pain, and to pushing through it. Pain meant you were still alive. That whatever had caused it hadn’t killed you yet. Not to mention the slight numbness that came with consuming as much alcohol as Mercy had.

So Erin only received a slightly narrowed gaze from Mercy instead of the full-on look of skepticism she might have received had Mercy been sober. But after a moment, Mercy’s expression turned to a grin. “That’s awesome.” It was always an interesting thing, meeting someone who already knew about the supernatural. And for it to be Erin, someone that Mercy considered an actual friend… a good friend at that… was even better. Though Mercy was still forever cautious. And she never revealed the identity of others like herself, no matter how drunk or impaired she was.

Mercy snagged her own beer and flopped down on the couch, blinking heavily. “‘S’not rude. I wish more people would just… fuckin’ ask. Instead of…” She waved a hand vaguely. “Beatin’ around the bush. Course not a lotta people know about… things. So… there’s that. But, we’re friends, right? You’re like… my only real friend. ‘Cept Arthur. Who may or may not lament that title - among others - at this point in our…” Mercy huffed, “relationship. But… since you asked, and I know you’re not a hunter… since… you know… the whole stabby-stab freakin’ you out bit...” A long sip of her beer followed, the coming revelation hanging heavily in the air. “I… am a Valkyrie.”

Erin shifted uncomfortably under Mercy’s gaze, until at last she got that look of approval. She wasn’t about to forget that whatever Mercy was, she’d been able to heal herself in a matter of minutes. Could vampires do that? No, no--she was definitely alive. She’d been warm to the touch during their brief training session. Fae? She didn’t know what the hell constituted a fae exactly but… maybe? She wasn’t afraid, though. If Mercy had any ill-intent towards her, they wouldn’t have been friends for as long as they had been.

“You’re right, I am your friend,” Erin lamented, slipping into the spot beside her, giving her arm a gentle squeeze.She was her friend though, even if Erin hadn’t been the best one lately, she could admit that. Her world had turned on its head and taken her for a ride, so she had some making up to do. “I don’t think your boyfriend likes me much though,” she smirked, recalling the way he’d very quickly skedaddled away from her. But if Mercy was supernatural, and considering how he’d run away from her at the mention of his identical-looking family members, maybe there was something else going on there. That was quickly forgotten when she got lost in Mercy’s dramatic pause, leading into a confession. Valkyrie. Erin sat there for a moment, eyes wide, searching her friend’s face for more clues. “Okay,” she nodded slowly, still staring, realizing she was about to expose herself on how little she actually knew. But she had to ask. “What’s… uh, what’s that?”

One of the advantages of Mercy’s species was that she looked absolutely human. No one would ever know the difference in everyday life. She had been human once, after all. So Mercy watched as the cogs in Erin’s head started to turn. She was processing, thinking over things, and so on. Mercy half-expected her to leave. But she didn’t. Instead, she plopped down beside Mercy on the couch.

Mercy was… surprised. Pleasantly, for once. And despite her inebriation, her expression said as much, and that she appreciated it more than Erin could know. “Thanks…” Mercy told her, giving her own arm a bump. Mercy gave Erin’s smirk a small, confused frown. “Boyfriend? Wh- OHhhh. You mean Arthur.” Mercy snorted and shook her head. “Nooo… no, he’s… he’s not my boyfriend… he’s… mmm… he’s my…” Her brow furrowed, as it suddenly became very hard to classify her oldest friend at that moment. So Mercy’s brain took the easiest route. “Ex-hus- No. Fiance. Ex-fiance? … since ya know. We almost got married…” Mercy held up a single finger. “...once. ‘S’like… 200 years ago now? It... didn’t work out.” Mercy fiddled with her sleeve, the fact that she’d just told Erin that both she and Arthur were at least two centuries old not even phasing her. “But… I still love him, ya know? It’s… pretty pathetic I guess. Since… I don’t think he even… notices me like that anymore. He was… pretty mad at me for a long time.” Mercy gave Erin a tight smile. “So… yeah. Not my boyfriend.” Her rambling had completely lost the plot on why Arthur didn’t like Erin, so she didn’t ask about it at the moment.

Besides, Mercy had just revealed what she was to Erin. There were certain to be questions, raised eyebrows, maybe even an exclamation or two. Mercy waited for it… watched Erin’s expression as it started to sink in… and then… nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Mercy visibly deflated. “Valkyries?“ she asked, raising her own eyebrows. “Female warrior figure from Norse legends? Choosers of who lives and who dies in battle? Transporting worthy souls to Valhalla? Big fucking wings? Unkillable?” Mercy sighed. Of course not. “I don’t… do the soul thing. Or… the wing bit - not really - ... because no one read me the fine fucking print, but I-” Mercy touched her fingers to her chest. “- am older than I look. And virtually unkillable. Chaos and discord make me strong, and I can… exert certain influence over people… if I want.” There was more, of course, but Mercy paused there, needing another drink.

The cold beer in her hand was more grounding and necessary than Erin realized as Mercy continued to pour her secrets out between them. And maybe it wasn’t fair of her to think this, but she couldn’t help but feel some type of way about being left out of so much of her friend’s life. But then again--there was a whole side to Erin’s life she wasn’t about to spill to anyone right now. So she cinched those feelings and tossed them away, absorbing and going into listening mode.

“Did you just say two hundred years ago?” Her eyes scanned her friend’s features, as if something would give her true age away. Things were falling into place though. Why Arthur’s face kept popping up in his family’s old photos, why he had bolted like he had out of the coffee shop that day. She’d touched on something he didn’t want anyone to find out. What was he though? “Wait, how old are you?” She asked as delicately as she could muster. She turned further, resting her elbow on the back of the couch. Her mouth opened to say something, one of the thousand questions bouncing through her brain, but all she could do was stare (not impolitely) as she pictured her friend as the ancient female warrior figure she’d just described. “Huh,” was all she could manage for a few moments. “What do you mean? What, uh--what kind of influence?” She tensed a little as that descriptor, certain fae-related memories in the form of water-logged promises and pheromone eggplant parm dinners rushing back to her.

It was rare that Mercy shared certain things about herself. Not because she didn’t trust most people (she didn’t) but because it was dangerous. Both for her and the people that knew. Arthur was one thing. He was OG immortal like her. Among other things. But Mercy hadn’t told anyone else in… years. Something about Erin made her want to tell the other woman. Maybe it was because they were friends. Erin never judged her too harshly for her choices. She might tell her they were stupid or fucked up or absolutely insane, but Mercy genuinely trusted her. Had she been sober, it might’ve been different. But it had been a long few weeks, and Mercy needed to tell someone about it. About herself. About Arthur. About… everything. Maybe it wasn’t fair to Erin (it wasn’t… not one tiny bit), but Mercy was hardly in a state to think that deeply.

“Yep.” Mercy made a popping sound on the ‘p.’ “Two hundred years.” She watched Erin watch her, watched as her friend’s beer-soaked braincogs started turning… processing it all. She didn’t know Erin was researching Arthur’s family just yet, and that so much of what Mercy was saying was connecting those particular cogs. But even as drunk as she was, Mercy wouldn’t let out Arthur’s secret. She never had. So she waited, and when the inevitable question about herself followed, Mercy sobered ever so slightly. Something about answering this particular thing always seemed… well, sobering.

She mirrored Erin’s posture, propping her arm on the back of the sofa. “This year... will be my 1200th summer since I was born. I was human then. My parents were human. My brothers and sisters too. But… when I was…” Mercy shook her head slightly. It was hard to remember exactly. “... thirty-five… thirty-six? I became what I am now. I chose it, so… it wasn’t a bad thing.” The trepidation that settled on Erin’s face wasn’t lost on Mercy, who sighed. “We have the ability to influence certain emotions. To… push… people to do things. But that emotion has to exist inside them already. Things like… hate, fear, outrage… love... can’t be created from nothing. But if there’s a spark… if we’re strong enough, we can fan that spark into an inferno. But even then… on some people… it doesn’t work.” She took a long drink. “I prefer helping people help themselves. To fight back… to… be stronger than the things that wanna hurt them…” She looked at her friend. “And before you ask… no. I haven’t used it on you. Not that you would know if I had, but… no. I haven’t.” Mercy grinned. “You stabbed me all on your own, lady.”

Two hundred suddenly seemed incredible tame in comparison to what Mercy revealed to be her actual age. 1200. It didn’t feel real and Erin had a feeling it was going to take some time for that number to be tangible. Wasn’t gonna happen now, she knew that much. She listened, quiet but intently, anxious hands drawing the bottle to her lips until it was nearly empty. Her friend didn’t seem super thrilled to have to explain her ability, or that she hadn’t used it on Erin, and she understood that. She’d seen that look before on the faces of her other supernatural friends, which at this point seemed like practically all of them at this point. All of those discussions had readied her for this one, as much as they could at least.

“That sounds kind of… cool, honestly?” she finally spoke, stumbling a little, the sincerity was there. “You don’t like--do it against their will though, do you?” Erin narrowed her eyes curiously, lifting the bottle to top off the last of the beer. Cringed when she brought up the stabbing. Considering the jaw-dropping information dump she’d just received, she’d nearly forgotten that crucial turning point in the evening. Her hand covered her forehead, sliding down slowly along her cheek. “I’m going to be sorry about that forever, I hope you know.” The corner of her mouth lifted into an innocent smile and she shrugged warily. “Thank God you’re unkillable, right?”

Erin was quiet for a few moments more, sitting up slowly, pondering over the empty bottle in her hand. “Alright,” she nodded firmly, trying to push past the initial shock of this and into a clearer train of thought. She set her hand on Mercy’s knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. “This is what we’re going to do. I’m going to get us more drinks and then we’re going to sit here, and you’re going to tell me more about this fucking millenium-old lifetime you’ve been hiding from me all these years.” She smiled, trying to show her support here the best she could. Her friends were supernatural. That was just how this worked for her now. And she’d do her damndest to roll with this punch like she had with the others. It wasn’t like she didn’t have some of her own secrets anyway. “Sound good?”

The problem with revealing what she was to others wasn’t always how dangerous it could be. It also meant Mercy risked losing a friend. More often than not, people revealed their true nature when faced with something that they didn’t understand. Or that scared them. Or both. And Mercy understood. She really did. But even after a thousand years it never got easier to see someone that you’d trusted enough to tell your biggest secret to look at you with either revulsion, fear, anger, or an entire list of other very complicated emotions. And nine times out of ten, Mercy lost. And for someone that didn’t trust or make friends easily, each time one of those relationships crumbled, Mercy felt a bit of her faith in humanity fall away.

So she answered Erin’s questions and waited for the inevitable, even though the other woman said she already knew about certain parts of the supernatural world. When it didn’t come, and Erin asked more questions instead of exiting the premises as fast as humanly possible, Mercy knew a look of earnest surprise crossed her face. And despite her reticence and her total inebriation, Mercy was grateful to Erin in that moment. “No… not really… it’s-” Mercy found it hard to explain. “More like the power of suggestion? The want to is there, already inside someone… however small… I’m that little voice - a muse, if you like… - that says ‘you know you want to,’ or… ‘you can do this.’ I can’t make people do things… that’s more like vampire compulsion… but I can heavily influence their decisions.” And even that wasn’t a good explanation in Mercy’s mind.

But again, Erin took it all in, and Mercy was still a bit unsure where they stood. So when Erin nodded and made a decision, Mercy let out a relieved breath and smiled. “Sounds perfect.”

They would drink, and they would talk. Like normal people on a normal Saturday night.

And for the first time in a long, long while, Mercy felt exactly that: normal.

��~

#wickedswriting #chatzy #p: erin #flashback #//this was funn!!#p: tis but a flesh wound

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pocket-full-of-wonder · 5 years ago

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Title: Warmth Summary: Shouyou was okay, he was, but all that changed. Fever and tension high, Tobio looks after his very sick partner.

(Queerplatonic KageHina, hurt/comfort, sickfic, like literally just 11k of self-indulgent sickfic, LOTS of cuddles/snuggles, soft comforts, heavy on the comfort, fever, worried Kageyama, no angst here y’all just hurt/comfort sick-fic style)

(((Warning(s): hospital (temporarily), emetophobia)))

Read on AO3

Tobio has never seen Shouyou sick before.

Shouyou and Tobio have been living together for about a month now, splitting the rent in a small apartment in a small downtown neighborhood. They work separate jobs, play volleyball with the locals and are trying to figure out university, taking some classes here and there on the side in preparation for entrance exams and whatever else the colleges will throw at them. They’ve had plenty of ups and downs with each other, especially since officially becoming partners—in-court in high school, and now off the court as working adults.

In hindsight, their relationship had always been there, though they hadn’t put actual thought into it until now. It’d been such a mutual part of them that living together just seemed… right.

And, also in hindsight, it’s weird that he’s never seen Shouyou sick before considering how long they’ve known each other. There were times in high school where Shouyou had called out because of a head cold and Tobio or someone else on the team would bring him his homework, but he always bounced back within a day or two. And he’s been trying to be better with taking care of himself lately, too, trying to get a decent amount of sleep every night and making sure he eats and hydrates enough throughout the day. He’s still gotten head colds here and there but it’s never been a big deal. He barely has to take sick days.

This time is different.

Shouyou has been sick for the past several days now, and running a fever at that. It isn’t… that high? Or, Tobio doesn’t think it’s high enough for him to be panicking, but he’s still concerned. And Shouyou hasn’t been able to stomach anything, either, or stay on his feet for more than a few minutes at a time. The better part of the week has had him in bed, feverish and miserable and quiet. Shouyou is never quiet. That concerns him, too.

Tobio goes to work the first day or two, because he expects Shouyou to be up and at ‘em by the time he gets home, but, no, he stays in bed. His fever doesn’t go down. And it’s by day three that Tobio finally calls in sick and stays home to take care of him.

He’d like to say it gets better from there, but it didn’t. On the night of day four, Tobio’s concern finally turns into something more akin to panic.

"You're dehydrated, I know you are," Tobio says, holding out a small glass of water. He keeps the room dim; the last thing he wants to do is disturb Shouyou’s headache. "You've gotta keep something in your system if you wanna get better."

Shouyou moans and shivers, drawing the blankets further around himself. Tobio’s stomach twists a little. “No,” he murmurs, shaking his head. “If I drink it now I'm just gonna throw it up.”

Tobio bites his lip. “You don't know that.”

“I do. Trust me.”

Tobio wants to argue, but if the past few days are anything to go by, he’s absolutely right. He settles the glass on the bedside table to try again later and sits down on the edge of the bed.

“Do you need anything?” he asks. “Is there something I can get you, or…?”

Shouyou shakes his head, but stops short. “It’s… it’s really hot…”

“We’re trying to sweat your fever out,” Tobio says curtly, but not without sympathy, and he draws the blankets further around Shouyou’s trembling shoulders. “You just feel overheated because of your fever.”

“I know,” Shouyou mumbles, curling in tighter on himself. “S-Still sucks, though.”

Tobio sighs again. He really wishes he could do more, but knows by now that, when it comes to stuff like this, all he can really offer is comfort.

“Alright,” Tobio says, shaking his head, “scoot over.”

Shouyou does, and Tobio slips underneath the blankets with him. It isn’t the first time they’ve shared a bed. It’s sort of become a nightly thing for the two of them. Shouyou wastes no time curling against Tobio's side, and Tobio lets him, wrapping his arms around Shouyou's shoulders even while Shouyou's uncomfortably warm forehead digs into his collar.

He sighs again, but it quickly turns into a hiss when his fingers brush the back of Shouyou's neck. "You're burning up..."

"Y’hands are j’s cold," Shouyou slurs, eyes closed. "Temperature's always messed up..."

"My hands aren’t cold," Tobio corrects sharply, settling his palm over Shouyou's temple. "Which means you’re really burning up."

Shouyou hums, unconcerned. "M'kay..."

Tobio runs his fingers through Shouyou's sweat-damp curls. "You know what I should do?"

"... Dunno...?"

"I should take you to the ER. I should’ve taken you to the ER yesterday.”

"No, this is fine," Shouyou murmurs, snuggling closer while Tobio strokes his hair. "I don't need a hospital."

"You do if you're dehydrated."

"M'not dehydrated."

"You’ve been sick for days, Shouyou." The words sink in for him, and he bites his lip. "I really should take you in. They could set up an IV, they could help you."

"M'fine. I'll get better on my own.”

“You haven’t been getting better on your own.”

“I will. M'just tired right now."

Tobio sighs again, and he knows it won't be the last time. "If you still have a fever tomorrow," he opts, "then can I take you in? Just so they can check and make sure you're okay?"

Shouyou must pick up on the concern in his voice, because he nods. "M'kay," he agrees. "M'tired of being sick..."

"Yeah, me too," Tobio agrees, brushing Shouyou's hair off his burning forehead. "Sorry."

"S'okay… you're doing everything you can. Thank y’."

"You're welcome." Tobio smooths back his hair and shuts his eyes. "Try to get some sleep. We'll see how you feel tomorrow."

Shouyou nods, and moments later, he's sound asleep. After monitoring him for a little while longer, Tobio follows in suit.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They don’t even make it to morning. It’s barely an hour later that Shouyou is choking bile into the bedside trash can, and Tobio can’t take it any longer.

“Okay.” He keeps his voice controlled, because stress makes Shouyou sicker and he cannot put him through anything else. “Okay, okay, Shou, we’re going to the ER.”

Shouyou coughs into the trash can without protesting, which might be one of the most worrying things about this. Tobio gives him a tight, to-be-continued hug with a promise that he’ll be back and swings himself out of bed, making record time as he snatches up everything they need. He starts with the most important things, running to and fro, frantically skimming his mind for where he put his damn wallet and the house keys. He ends up with Shouyou’s set of keys and only sees it first because Shouyou has a cute little dog bobblehead attached to it.

He stuffs everything into a backpack, along with enough t-shirts and sweatpants to last them a few days (just in case), and then he shoves his shoes on his feet and takes his haul back into the bedroom. Shouyou is where he left him, only now he’s hugging a pillow to his chest and his eyes are red and watery. Partially from exertion and partially from what Tobio can only imagine (but really doesn’t want to) is stress and fear and exhaustion.

He sits by Shouyou’s side, careful not to rock the bed. “Hey, dumbass,” he whispers, gently tucking some of his sweaty hair behind his ear. “We need to get ready to go.”

“I don’t want to be sick in the hospital,” Shouyou croaks, squeezing the pillow tighter and burying his face into it. “I’m s-supposed to have work soon, I can’t be in the hospital, Tobio, I can’t—”

“They’re going to get you feeling better, Shou,” Tobio soothes, at a loss for what else to say. Shouyou has never been this sick before. He winds an arm around Shouyou’s shoulders and tugs him up against his side. Shouyou curls his knees in close and lets go of the pillow to cling to him instead, arms around his waist and blistering forehead digging into Tobio’s side. Tobio blanches (that fever is way too high, god, it’s way too high) and ignores the sick feeling in his stomach. “You’ve been sick for too long, I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Y-You’re doing a great job,” Shouyou whimpers, but curls impossibly closer anyway which basically tells Tobio all he needs to know about how Shouyou’s feeling right now. “You aren’t doing anything wr-wrong, Tobio…”

“I know, I know. Shh.” Tobio strokes back his hair for a moment before settling his hand on his forehead. He’s really burning up… “I know, dumbass, I know. But I’ve reached the end of what I can do alone, okay? I need to get you to someone who can make you feel better.”

Shouyou chokes on what sounds like a sob and buries his face in Tobio’s side. “Y-You’ll stay with me, right?” he rasps, voice pleading and scared. “U-Unless you don’t want to—”

“Stupid.” Tobio flicks him on the temple. “Someone has to look after your dumb ass. I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.”

Shouyou relaxes a little, and Tobio untangles them and gets to his feet again, this time coming back with Shouyou's favorite hoodie. He helps Shouyou sit up and put it on, feeding overheated, sweaty limbs through the sleeves and trying not to dwell on just how limp he is, how Shouyou tries helping but is too weak to. Tobio straightens the collar, pulls the hood away from his face and gives Shouyou a tight but gentle hug afterwards. Shouyou sinks into it, and Tobio rubs his back when he sobs.

He gets his own jacket on next and slings the backpack over his shoulder. After helping Shouyou with socks and shoes and tugging a face mask over his face, he clicks out the lights and they’re ready to go.

"I called us an Uber, they'll be here any second," Tobio informs, phone still in hand. He sinks down beside Shouyou and immediately threads his fingers through his hair. Shouyou trembles violently and leans into the touch. "Do you want me to carry you?"

Shouyou shakes his head and folds himself into Tobio's side again, grasping fistfuls of his jacket. "N-No, I can walk," he manages. "M-Maybe just… st-steady me, if I need it."

Tobio strokes his hair and nods. "Okay. Tell me if you change your mind."

Shouyou nods against him, around the same time Tobio's phone goes off. Tobio swipes it up and reads.

"Our ride is here," he says, ignoring the anxious butterflies in the pit of his gut. Usually they'd take the train but getting Shouyou down to the station like this would be next to impossible. And he doesn't want Shouyou to be embarrassed by too much attention on the train, either. "C'mon, Shou, let's go.”

He takes Shouyou by the forearms and gently, gently hauls him to his feet. Shouyou staggers on unstable footing and Tobio catches him, curling an arm around his shoulders and pressing him close.

“Easy, easy, I have you, stupid. It’s okay.”

"S-Sorry," Shouyou whimpers, trying and failing to straighten himself up. "Headrush. I-I’ll be okay in a second.”

Tobio swallows and bites the inside of his cheek. "It's okay. Let me help you, okay? I'm not going to let you fall."

Shouyou nods and they head out together, Tobio keeping him pressed into his side and Shouyou clutching at his jacket weakly. Shouyou seems so small like this. Tobio tries not to dwell on it. He can think about it after Shouyou’s gotten help.

The Uber driver is kind, though worried at Shouyou's state. Tobio explains what's going on in the briefest way he can and the driver nods, opening the door for Tobio before climbing back into the driver’s seat. Tobio tosses the backpack inside and takes Shouyou’s hand. Shouyou’s eyes are glassy, and he doesn’t look like he’s actually seeing much of anything. Tobio doesn’t trust his coordination. He squeezes his fingers.

“Do you think you can stand by yourself for one second?” Tobio asks, trying not to think about how warm and clammy Shouyou’s hand is. Shouyou nods, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles, and Tobio tightens his grip on his hand again and climbs in the backseat first. He tosses the backpack onto the floor to free up the seat and holds his arms out to Shouyou. He gives his hand a gentle tug. “Careful, don’t hit your head.”

Shouyou practically falls into the vehicle with a strangled, startled yelp, but Tobio was ready for it, and he catches Shouyou with one arm curved around his shoulders and the other in the crook of his knees.

“Careful, dumbass,” Tobio says, wrapping his arms around him and holding him steady. Nothing happened, but Shouyou is breathing hard enough to scare him again. He strokes the side of his face, ignoring the heat there. “I said I’m here to help if you need me, remember? Take it easy.”

Shouyou apologizes weakly, eyes glazed over and tear-filled and Tobio just, doesn’t have it in him to be upset. He gives him a brief but tight hug. After making sure his hands, arms, and feet are tucked safely in the seat beside him, he pulls the door shut, gets their seatbelts snapped and hollers to the driver that they’re ready to go. The driver speeds down the road and Tobio holds Shouyou close, letting him bury his face against his neck while he breathes hard. Tobio doesn’t think he’s ever seen or heard Shouyou breathe like this, not even after an intense volleyball game or after they raced until their lungs burned and their feet were blistered.

It scares him.

“It’s gonna be okay. You’re fine,” he whispers, half to Shouyou and half to himself. He runs his fingers through his hair, hoping the action is even just a little bit soothing. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

Shouyou muffles a noise into his jacket, knees digging into Tobio’s side. Tobio presses his forehead into Shouyou’s damp hair.

“I love you, too, it’ll be okay.”

Their driver is pushing the speed limit, just a little. Tobio has it in his mind to thank him, give him a good rating. But it’s a thought so far in the back of his mind that it might not be attainable so long as Shouyou is in this state.

The car pulls up in front of the ER, and Tobio thanks the driver if a bit haphazardly, taking Shouyou by the shoulder and shaking him. Shouyou murmurs incoherently.

“We’re here, Shou, come on,” Tobio says, unbuckling their seatbelts. Shouyou won’t sit up straight. “We have to go, come on. They’ll be able to help you, I promise.”

The driver opens the door for them, and Tobio decides screw it and pulls Shouyou into his arms, securing his hold before hauling them both out of the vehicle. Shouyou murmurs something Tobio can’t make out before he curls into his chest and clutches at his collar. Tobio hates how light he is. He’s never been this light before, he’s not supposed to be this light. It shouldn’t be this easy to carry him.

“Thank you,” Tobio says to the driver when he thinks about it.

The driver nods. “Best of luck to the two of you.”

Tobio nods, ducks his head in a short bow and speeds off toward the entrance. He hears but doesn’t acknowledge the departure of the car behind them. Shouyou’s skin is far beyond burning, hair sweaty and breath fogged against Tobio’s neck. He hopes it isn’t as bad as it seems. He doesn’t know what he’d do if it’s as bad as it seems.

The automatic doors open for him and he sprints inside, immediately slammed by the scent of antiseptic and an atmosphere of fear and forced professionalism. Tobio wants to yell at someone to take Shouyou, to help him and to help him now, because he needs help now, but starting a riot isn’t going to help.

In his arms, Shouyou squirms weakly. “I c’n walk, Tobio…”

Tobio doesn’t want to put him down, but he understands. There are already a lot of eyes on them, and Shouyou has never been one to like too much attention when they’re off the court. Tobio nods reluctantly and sets Shouyou on his feet. He’s unsteady, and when he tips into Tobio’s side, Tobio is ready to catch him.

“Take it easy,” he says, any trace of anger or annoyance completely gone. He doesn’t know when or even if it’ll ever be back. “Come on, let’s get signed in.”

He moves on autopilot with Shouyou leaned against him, and they wait in line for the receptionist. There are two people in front of them; a mother holding her sobbing daughter, who’s holding an arm twisted beyond what it should be; and ahead of them is a man, limping horribly, with bloody bandages around his knee. Tobio keeps Shouyou’s gaze distracted elsewhere and is half tempted to cover his eyes for him.

When it’s their turn, the receptionist is kind and helpful, but efficient and professional. Tobio explains the ups and downs of what’s been going on: his fever never broke, it’s been down, but it keeps getting higher, he hasn’t been able to stomach anything the past few days, no, he doesn’t have any allergies that we know of, we haven’t been out of the country recently, yes, he’s otherwise healthy, and they’re taken back by another nurse clad in blues and whites to take Shouyou’s vitals.

The thermometer says 39.4. Tobio knows that isn’t good, but doesn’t panic this time because they’re in a hospital and there are doctors who can help him. He sits beside Shouyou on the bench and lets him lean into his shoulder while the tests are run and Shouyou pliantly sits and lets it happen. Blood pressure, pulse, height, weight. Tobio wishes they would get on with it because he doesn’t see how knowing how tall Shouyou is will help them make him better.

“Is this correct?”

The nurse shows Tobio a bracelet: Hinata Shouyou, followed by a combination of numbers and terms he doesn’t understand. But he nods, because that’s Shouyou’s name and it’s spelled correctly, and the nurse secures the bracelet around Shouyou’s sweaty wrist. His hand falls into his lap as soon as the nurse lets go. Tobio grasps his fingers, and Shouyou squeezes back weakly.

“We’ll have you sit up front for a bit,” the nurse says sternly, typing things into a computer. She’s not nearly as kind as the receptionist, seems a bit fed up with her job, and Tobio’s on edge enough to snap at her but doesn’t because it’s one in the morning and he can’t put Shouyou through any more stress. “It won’t be long before we call you back. Here.”

She reaches around and hands him a plastic container, and he hopes to whatever gods are listening that Shouyou doesn’t feel sick enough to need it. He nods and decides not to thank her because with Shouyou as sick as he is, he does not appreciate her attitude.

He helps Shouyou up and back into the main part of the ER, with Shouyou more dead-weight than ever before. There aren’t many people here, which he guesses fits the ungodly hour, so it’s easy to find a small, out of the way bench where they can sit and Shouyou can have some quiet.

“Here,” Tobio says, taking Shouyou by the forearms and guiding him down onto the bench. He doesn’t let go until he knows Shouyou won’t topple over. “We good?”

Shouyou nods with a small hum that sounds more pained than anything; Tobio drops into the space beside him; and Shouyou wastes no time tipping to rest his upper body in Tobio’s lap. Tobio pets his hair, leaving the plastic bin on the floor and settling an arm around Shouyou’s stomach, gently stroking his side. Shouyou’s hoodie is sweat-damp in places now, and every bit of exposed skin is hot to the touch and a combination of pasty white and sickly flushed.

Tobio swipes his thumb back and forth across Shouyou’s hairline, gentle. “You holding up okay?”

“Th-Think so,” Shouyou murmurs, though he pulls his knees up against himself. “Wanna sleep.”

“You can sleep,” Tobio says. “It might help you feel a little better.”

Shouyou shakes his head. “Don’t wanna sleep here.”

Tobio smiles a smile that he only ever gives to Shouyou, only it’s softer than it’s ever been before and in the end, he just feels sad. He keeps carding his fingers through his hair. “Just close your eyes, then. I’ll hold you.”

Shouyou breathes a shaky thank you and Tobio leans over him in what he can only call an awkward-hug-situation, where he can’t properly hug Shouyou but he still wants Shouyou to know that he’s there and there’s nowhere else he’d rather be. Shouyou squeezes Tobio’s knee, and Tobio catches his hand and squeezes back.

Every time a nurse comes in to call on someone, Tobio is ready to haul up and carry Shouyou after them, but they don’t call Shouyou’s name. Several others are called back; the woman and her daughter with the broken arm, the man with the bleeding knee, another man with a bleeding, crooked ankle who came in after Tobio and Shouyou, and even this one bizarre case where someone came in so angry that he almost attacked the receptionist and had to be physically restrained by security.

Tobio kept his hand over Shouyou’s ear during that, glad they were out of the way enough to not be in the line of fire. He really, really doesn’t want to be here, and more than ever wants to take Shouyou home and let him get better there. He curses his helplessness and almost damn wishes he’d become a doctor himself, if just so he could make sure Shouyou was okay a hundred percent of the time and never have to come to places like this.

Someone else comes in and is immediately taken back by the doctors. Shouyou’s chills become so violent and scary that Tobio gives up his own jacket and settles it over Shouyou like a blanket. Tobio understands that Shouyou isn’t dying and that there are people in this building worse off, but the protective partner in him wants them to prioritize him. Or at the very least tell Tobio how much longer it’ll be before they’re seen.

Another person comes in and is immediately taken back by the doctors. Shouyou trembles and, every so often, lets out a small, dry sob. The first time it happened, Tobio thought he was gagging and scrambled for the bin—but no, Shouyou is just stressed and sick and anxious and exhausted and frustrated, enough to break down.

Tobio really, really wishes the doctors would hurry up, and the only reason why he doesn’t bounce his leg is because Shouyou is pillowed in his lap, finally still, and he will not mess this up.

Except it’s right along that line of thought that Shouyou squirms unexpectedly and sits up, so quickly that he almost bonks his head into Tobio’s.

“Whoa, hey, hey.” Tobio steadies him by the shoulder when he sways in his seat. He looks even worse than before, ashen in the face and eyes carrying a sort of haze like fogged glass. “What’s wrong?”

“I—” Shouyou cuts himself off with something that is a gag this time, and Tobio makes the right call snatching up the bin and shoving it under his chin. He doesn’t necessarily throw up, because there’s nothing there left for him to bring up, but he does heave and choke for a while, and all Tobio can do is brace him through it.

“It’s okay, Shou, shh. It’s okay,” Tobio whispers, rubbing his hand from Shouyou’s elbow to shoulder in gentle but consistent movements. “It’s okay, breathe. Try to breathe. It’s okay.”

“Wh-Why does this keep happening?” Shouyou gasps, voice nothing more than a croaky shamble of what it should be. He sounds desperate, and his sobs aren’t dry anymore. “I-It hurts, wh-what’s wrong with me—?”

The fit is over, so Tobio sets the bin on the floor and pulls Shouyou into his arms, tucking his head under his chin and cupping the back of his head.

“Your body’s just under a lot of stress right now,” Tobio says. “It’s trying to make you better, it just doesn’t know what it’s doing. That’s why we’re here, Shou, so the doctors can help your body help you.”

“Wh-Why’s’it taking so long?” Shouyou hasn’t asked the question yet, even though they’ve been here for a good long while. He’s been patient, trying so hard to be patient and not to complain but he’s at a breaking point, and he’s just. He’s sick, he’s tired, and Tobio really, really wishes he had a good answer.

“I. I don’t know.”

Shouyou’s breath hitches. “T-Tobio—”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Tobio asserts quickly, running his hand up and down Shouyou’s back through his hoodie. “Don’t panic, dumbass. Your body’s already freaking out on you, you don’t need to give it another reason to screw you over. Just… breathe.”

Shouyou drags in a shuddering breath.

The automatic doors open, a new patient comes in and is taken back immediately by doctors. Tobio wants to scream.

He loses track of time. It could be twenty minutes, it could be several hours. His phone clock says 2:36. It feels like they’ve been here forever. Shouyou is having a harder time getting and staying comfortable now, constantly twisting and squirming and asking Tobio when the doctors are going to see him. He spends most of his time with his upper body in Tobio’s lap, and Tobio spends all of his time coming up with new ways to try and ease some of the pain.

It’s 3:24 when Tobio finally decides enough is enough. He’s just about to have Shouyou sit up when Shouyou beats him to it, shooting into an upright position much like last time. Only something is noticeably different. He looks like a deer in the headlights. A very tired, very delirious deer in the headlights.

“What’s wrong?” Tobio steadies him again, hand on his shoulder. “You need to throw up again?”

“I-I…” Shouyou swallows thickly, and it almost has Tobio reaching for the bin. “I don’t… I don’t think so? I just… I-I feel really bad, l-like…”

Tobio studies him, gripping his shoulder. “Bad like how?”

“I… I don’t know, I just—”

His voice trails off, his eyes roll back in his head, and he pitches forward like a broken doll.

“Shouyou—!”

Tobio’s knees slam into the tile floor and his arms take Shouyou’s limp, unmoving form. His heart pounds so hard that it taints the edges of his vision black. Shouyou’s head is a dead weight in his arm and his chest heaves with every gasped, panted breath.

“Shou?” Tobio touches his face, brushing his hair away from his face once, twice, again. “Shou, can you hear me? Shou?” He pats his cheek. His skin is too warm, everything about Shouyou is too warm. And too still. “Shou, Shou, come on, stupid, come on—”

Shouyou’s face is slack, eyes closed, cheeks a horrid, flushed shade of red. He doesn’t wake up. Something in Tobio’s heart snaps.

“Someone help me!” he shouts, numb to the sound of his own voice. “Help him, please—!”

Footsteps hail the arrival of doctors and nurses, everyone talking at once and touching Shouyou’s face and wrists and neck. Tobio clings to him, and only just holds back the urge to break down.

“What’s wrong with him?” he asks, blubbering and hysterical. “Wh-Why won’t he wake up?”

He isn’t answered. Everyone’s talking too fast and too much, using terms he’s never heard before and doesn’t care to listen to. Someone puts a hand on his shoulder and says they’re going to help Shouyou. Another team of nurses comes running toward them, wheeling a stretcher.

Tobio holds Shouyou closer and whispers, “I-It’s going to be okay, okay? They’re going to help you, they’re gonna help you, I—” Shouyou’s face is slack, eyes closed, unresponsive, and his skin is an ashen pale gray that makes Tobio want to throw up. Tobio cradles him close, touching his face, smoothing back his hair. “I’m here, I’ll be here with you, it’s okay, sh-shit, please be okay, please—”

He has to be physically dragged away from Shouyou while the doctors load him onto the stretcher and take off with him down the hall. A nurse beckons to him, a silent permission that Tobio doesn’t need because he’s following them one way or another, and he tears after the stretcher down long hallways and into one room after the next, test after test, with the feeling of Shouyou’s raging fever permanently seared into his skin.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Shouyou wakes up slowly, feeling marginally okay if just a little bit tipsy. He’d definitely take ‘a little tipsy’ over how he felt before. The only words he can use to describe how he felt before are agonized and scared.

He’s thinking about Tobio before he realizes he can think again, and that horrible haze isn’t in the forefront of his mind anymore. He cracks his eyes open slowly, wincing at the harsh overhead lights and hoping he never has to see them again. The beeping machines and cool wires against his skin says it all. They’re still in the hospital.

Or, at least, he is. He doesn’t know where Tobio is and he’s too scared of being disappointed to ask.

“Shou?”

Except.

Shouyou blinks up at a familiar silhouette, a welcoming shadow beneath the starkly white and too, too bright overheads. Shouyou wants to smile, but he’s too sore and too tired and he still feels too sick to muster the energy.

So instead he rasps out a weak, “Tobio?” and hopes Tobio understands.

He does. Tobio beams, but his eyes are sad and there are tears on his cheeks.

“Hey, h-hey.” Tobio’s voice trembles in a way it’d never trembled before, and his hand shakes equally hard when he touches Shouyou’s cheek and brushes his hair out of his face. “Hey, dumbass, hey. There you are.” He draws a shuddering breath, ducks his head for a long moment and squeezes Shouyou’s hand. “God, oh my god, Shou—”

He hugs him, snaking his arms between Shouyou’s shoulders and the bed and burying his face into Shouyou’s neck. It happens so fast that Shouyou struggles to keep up with it, but Tobio’s weight, while heavy and breath-restrictive, is something he can be absolutely sure of. He brings his arms up weakly and wraps them around Tobio’s back, turning his face into Tobio’s hair. He breathes.

“Hey yourself,” Shouyou wheezes.

Tobio responds by burrowing closer, and Shouyou shuts his eyes and lets himself focus on Tobio’s breath, his heartbeat, his warmth. It’s nice.

Shouyou bonks the sides of their heads together gently. “I missed you.”

Tobio chortles breathlessly. “I didn’t leave, dumbass.”

“I know. But I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Me, too. I...” He inhales. “I’m glad you’re okay. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t okay.”

Shouyou hums softly. “But I am okay.”

“Yeah.” Tobio doesn’t hesitate. He nods against Shouyou’s neck. “Yeah, you’re okay. You’re okay.”

Shouyou runs a shaky hand through Tobio’s hair.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tobio asks the doctor if it was pneumonia (which, Shouyou said it wasn’t, but an anxious, sleep-deprived Tobio is an unreasonable Tobio) and the doctor assures him that, no, it wasn’t pneumonia, just a very bad, very tenacious flu virus.

Apparently Shouyou’s family has a history of low immune system and anemia, which could explain why the virus did such a number on him. The doctors are waiting for his fever to break and for him to build some strength back, and then he can go home.

“How long do you think it’ll be?” Tobio asks, standing with the doctor while Shouyou dozes. “His fever’s gone down…”

The doctor’s smile is kind and understanding. “I can’t imagine more than a week,” he says. “We do want to make sure we’ve given his immune system the pick-up it needs to be able to fight this off. But, you’re right, his fever isn’t concerning anymore, though we do want to keep an eye on it. He’s got a strong will, I’m sure you’ll be able to take him home in no time.”

Tobio nods. He wants to take Shouyou home now, and get bundled up on the couch with tea and ramen and make fun of cheesy game shows until they fall asleep on each other.

And that will happen, just. Not as soon as Tobio wants it to happen.

“Thank you,” he says, bowing low. Once he’s straightened out of it, he continues with, “I appreciate all you’re doing. And your honesty.”

“Of course.” The doctor nods shortly, smiles one last time and leaves the two of them alone. Tobio draws a breath and returns to Shouyou’s bedside, sitting down beside him and stretching out his legs.

Shouyou taps him on the knee. Tobio turns his head and smiles, reaching down to brush his hair away from his eyes.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, dumbass.”

“You too,” Shouyou says, still tapping his knee. He peers up at him. “You look tired.”

Tobio exhales sharply through his nose. “Well, duh. We’re both exhausted.”

Shouyou hums and pauses, thinking. He continues to tap Tobio’s knee absentmindedly; it’s a little habit he picked up about a year ago, tapping Tobio’s arm or hand or knee or leg whenever they’re sitting together. It’s something Tobio is used to and familiar with now, so much so that feeling it brings on immense comfort and reassurance.

“Do you know what would make me happy?” Shouyou asks.

“What?”

“If you went home and took a shower and a nap.”

“You know what would make me happy?” Tobio catches his hand and squeezes it. “If you got better.”

“I’m getting better,” Shouyou says, blinking up at him lazily. “You going home and taking care of yourself for a while isn’t going to change that.”

“I know,” Tobio assures, “but—” He searches himself a moment, looking for something worth the argument. “I just… don’t like the thought of you being here by yourself.”

“Aww.” Shouyou scoots closer, resting his head on Tobio’s thigh. “You’re sweet. But, it just means I’ll be extra happy to see you when you get back. You’ll be able to get some proper sleep, too—don’t give me that look, I know you haven’t been sleeping. And you’ll be able to grab some more clean clothes. I know we’re running out of them.”

Tobio bites his lip, raking his fingers across Shouyou’s scalp gently. That visceral something in his chest, when Shouyou collapsed in the ER lobby… he’s never going to forget that feeling, much less when it’s so fresh in his mind.

“I don’t know…”

“I’ll be okay here, Tobio,” Shouyou says, smiling this time. “When you get back we can watch dumb cooking shows and cuddle.”

“We can watch dumb cooking shows and cuddle now.”

“No, you smell bad. Go take a shower.”

Tobio snorts. “Like you smell any better.”

“I have an excuse, okay.”

“Anything can be an excuse if you try hard enough.”

Shouyou shoves him, and it takes Tobio aback, how weak it is. Either Shouyou really doesn’t mean it or he really doesn’t feel well.

“Okay but seriously,” Shouyou says, “I’d really like it if you went home and took a shower, and it’s not because you smell bad. You’ve been here for a while, right? It won’t hurt you to just run home for a little while, get some sleep and take a shower. That sorta stuff.”

Tobio swallows. “I just… I don’t know, Shou. I’m worried about you.”

“I know, I know you are. But, Tobes, I’m worried about you, too. You’ve taken such good care of me, and I’m being taken care of here, too, so I want you to take care of yourself now.”

‘Selfless’ isn’t necessarily a word that describes Shouyou, but he does have a special heart for other people, especially the people he loves. Tobio is reluctant for obvious, understandable reasons, but Shouyou’s okay. Or at least he’s close to being okay. The doctors are here to help him if he needs someone, and it’s not like Tobio won’t be coming back. He probably won’t be gone for more than an hour. Maybe half an hour if he hussles.

And, he’d be lying if he said a shower didn’t sound really nice right about now.

Tobio heaves a sigh and, judging by that little glint in Shouyou’s eyes, he knows what that means. “Alright, I’m letting you win for once,” Tobio says. “But just this one time, got it? You have to earn every other victory.”

Shouyou cackles. “Alright, alright, yeah.”

Tobio rolls his eyes and Shouyou moves off him so he can stand up. Shouyou curls into the pillows and Tobio tucks the blankets up and around his shoulders. The somewhat rougher texture reminds him to grab a throw blanket from home; if Shouyou’s going to be stuck in the hospital for a while, he at least deserves to be comfortable.

Tobio smooths the blanket over him. “You’re sure you’ll be okay here?” he asks, just in case.

“Positive,” Shouyou says, nodding. “I’m just gonna sleep, honestly. I won’t even know you’re gone.”

“Good, good.” Tobio presses his hand to his forehead. He’s still warm, but it’s nothing compared to what it used to be. “Alright. Sleep well, alright? I’ll try and be back before you wake up.”

“Take your time,” Shouyou says, smiling gently. He’s already nodding off, eyelids heavy and stubborn, so Tobio squeezes his hand one more time before heading out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tobio hadn’t realized how exhausted he was until he unlocks the door and steps into the apartment. The place is eerily quiet without Shouyou’s light and warmth, and he used to like the silence, but ever since meeting and knowing Shouyou, noise had become his normal in the best sense possible. Silence used to mean peace and tranquility, but now, silence means an absence. Silence means an emptiness. Silence means Tobio is alone and he would do anything to have Shouyou in his arms.

He locks the door behind him and takes a long, cold shower. He hopes it’ll wake him up some, maybe give him a pick-me-up so he can leave and see Shouyou again, but he’d promised Shouyou that he would take a break. And while Tobio might not necessarily care about a break, he does care about Shouyou, and he did promise him.

So Tobio takes a shower, gets dressed, changes out the bedding and flops facedown onto it, breathing deeply. His body must take it as a go-ahead to shut down, because even though his mind is telling him ten minutes, ten minutes and then I’ll leave, his body has already decided what it wants, and he sleeps soundly and deeply through every alarm he’d set.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Wow,” Shouyou says, beaming at him, “I didn’t think you’d actually listen to me.”

“Wasn’t planning on it at first,” Tobio says, dropping the backpack off on the nearest seat as he crosses the room. “But you had a point. So.”

“Of course I did!” Shouyou says, still smiling stupidly. He’s actually sitting up now, with pillows propped between his back and the headboard. “I’m glad, you look a lot more like yourself now.”

“So do you,” Tobio says, sitting down beside him on the bed. Shouyou scoots over to give him more room and they sit parallel to each other, shoulders touching. Tobio tucks Shouyou’s hair behind his ear again. “I haven’t seen you smile in weeks.”

“It’s been like, one week,” Shouyou says, still grinning. “You’re just a drama queen. Drama Queen of the Court.”

Tobio snorts, knocking his head into Shouyou’s shoulder and leaving it there. “Dumbass.”

“Jerk.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. Softie.” Shouyou ruffles his hair. “Oh! You promised dumb cooking shows and cuddles.”

“I did.”

“Wanna?”

“Definitely.”

It doesn’t take very long to get situated. Tobio covers them with a throw blanket he brought from home, and Shouyou wastes no time at all snuggling into his side, though still mindful of the IV and monitoring wires. Tobio isn’t sure the doctors especially want him sharing a bed with Shouyou, and they did bring him a stretcher which lies empty on the other side of the room, but they haven’t told him he can’t, and until they do (and maybe even after they do), he’ll be here.

The cooking show is one of those competition types where all the competitors have a dramatic bake-off with lots of sabotaging, self-sufficiency and sobbing involved. It isn’t really something to watch as much as it something to have going on in the background. His main focus is really on Shouyou, whether it’s watching Shouyou cry with his favorite contestant after their tragic defeat, watching Shouyou laugh at failed attempts from his least favorite contestants, reminding him not to fist-bump so high that the IV stand rattles, or otherwise holding him close and stroking his head. Shouyou might not be entirely well yet, but he’s more like himself now.

Night falls soon after. The nurses come back and double-check Shouyou’s vitals, almost ignoring Tobio’s presence entirely. They don’t tell him to leave, though, or that he has to sleep on the cot. Maybe they’re scared of him, who knows. The nurses file out and in comes the doctor, who tells them that Shouyou’s recovery is going well enough for him to be discharged within the next couple of days, granted he doesn’t throw up anymore and his fever doesn’t rise.

“We’re still monitoring everything,” the doctor says, “but we are hopeful.” That isn’t all he says, but it’s the most important thing Tobio latches onto. Hopeful. That’s good. And a few days is a lot shorter than an entire week, and that’s good too.

The doctor leaves them to sleep, turning off the light on his way out upon their request. They go back to watching the cooking show, and Shouyou is so close to Tobio that he’s practically on top of him, curled against him as a warm, familiar weight, and Tobio is happy. He feels Shouyou’s forehead again, and he still has a fever, but he’s okay, now. As long as Shouyou is happy and okay, then Tobio is happy and okay, too.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sweltering agony wakes Shouyou in the middle of the night. His stomach is twisted, coiled like trapped vipers, and it feels empty but he still wants to throw up. The haze is back in the forefront of his mind. He isn’t aware of very many things, just that he hurts, it’s too hot, stop, please stop, and Tobio has him in his arms.

Shouyou opens his eyes. It’s just as dark as it was when they were closed. Tobio’s chest rises and falls against him, steadying and sure and Shouyou tries focusing on it, he tries setting his mind on Tobio’s breath and his heartbeat and the feeling of his arms around him, and he tries to breathe, too, but he can’t. His throat is thick, stuck in a way that makes him wish he could cough but he can’t, he wants to cry but he can’t, and the only thing he seems able to do is burn.

The last thing he wants to do is wake Tobio up—Tobio’s been so worried about him, so tirelessly looking after him with abandon, leaving no regard left for his own health. He talks a good talk, plays a good game but Shouyou knows how anxious he’s been, how anxious he is, and how much stress all of this has caused. He can see it in his eyes, feel it in his touch, hear it in his breathing. Tobio is tired, he’s stressed, he’s anxious, he’s exhausted and Shouyou doesn't want to add to that. He doesn’t want to make it any worse than it already is.

But he hasn’t felt this bad—he’s never felt this bad before, not once. Nothing’s ever hurt this much, nothing’s ever scorched this much, he feels like he’s trapped on the inside of a burning building with his chest and stomach pinned with rubble and he just—he just wants it to stop—

“Tobio?” He hates the sound of his own voice, hates how loud it is and how pathetic and he hates that he keeps putting Tobio through this but he doesn’t know what else to do. “T-Tobio.” Carefully, half-hoping Tobio won’t wake up, he pokes him hard in the shoulder. His toes curl. “Tobio.”

Tobio shifts and stirs, and Shouyou withdraws his hand and wishes he could curl up small enough and tight enough to never be seen again.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m up, what’s—” His hand on Shouyou’s head stills. A palm presses into his forehead. Shouyou sobs dryly. “Shit.”

“I’m sorry,” Shouyou whimpers. Tobio is scrambling for something, clutching him against his chest. “I’m sorry, I’m so s-sorry—”

“Shit, shit, shit—” Tobio’s voice is frantic, and he jams the call nurse button four times, rapidly. “Don’t apologize, don’t— shit, how did it get this bad?—It’s okay, Shou, it’s not your fault— god, please, don’t apologize—”

The way Tobio is clutching him isn’t reassuring, it’s desperate, like he’s out at sea and clinging to a liferaft. He’s never been good at handling emotional distress, nevermind Shouyou’s and his own. Shouyou wishes he could reassure him but he’s too busy trying to keep his own composure as best as he can. They were supposed to be going home the next couple of days, and now—

“Shit, where the hell is the doctor—”

“I’m sorry,” Shouyou sobs. Tobio stills. “I-I ruined—”

“You ruined a whole damn lot of nothing,” Tobio hisses, holding him securely against his chest. Shouyou wants him to let go. He wants him to hold tighter. “Don’t you dare apologize, dumbass, don’t you dare.”

Shouyou knows Tobio isn’t angry at him, just angry at the situation. But considering how much of ‘him’ is in the situation, it doesn’t make him feel any better. He chokes, and the tears finally spill forth and there’s no holding them back. Tobio runs his hand up and down his back, squeezing his shoulders, holding him close. Nothing helps.

An unsuspecting nurse pokes her head in, and the white stripe of light from the cracked door is enough to blind him. Tobio shouts at her. She leaves without closing the door and Shouyou can hear her pounding, retreating footsteps, amplified like bombs.

A moment passes. Or maybe several moments do.

The room explodes in a crescendo of noise, color, and an atmosphere crushing enough to still his breathing. The only thing that goes through his head is he hopes they don’t make Tobio leave. He isn’t—he isn’t dying or anything (right?) so they shouldn’t have to, he just—please, don’t make him go—

Too much is happening around him. There are hands on him, instruments on him, questions thrown at him that he can barely answer and immediately forgets what they were afterwards. Everything is just— haze, it’s nothing, it’s noise and hurt and unfamiliar, unwanted touches and he just wants to go home, they were supposed to go home—

“Shou, you need to calm down, you’re breathing too hard,” Tobio says, voice quiet and scared. “They’re gonna have to sedate you if you don’t calm down, it’s okay—”

Shouyou chokes a sob. “W-We were supposed to g-go—”

“I know.” Tobio hugs him tight, pressing his forehead against the top of Shouyou’s. “Shit, damn it, I know, I know. But I need you to not think about that right now. Come on, dumbass, not thinking is what you do best, don’t go changing that now.”

Shouyou gasps out a shaky, teary giggle, and it’s one of the most reassuring things Tobio has said all day. He’s sure the doctors are glaring at him for it but he knows Tobio, and he knows what he’s trying to do. And he appreciates it.

Tobio’s hold becomes less desperate and more gentle, more like himself, more like how they are on casual days spent lazing about the house. When Tobio speaks, his voice is soft. Almost uncharacteristically soft. And Shouyou clings to every word.

“I know you’re disappointed, and scared, and I am too, but we’ll deal with this together, alright? Just like we always do. Nothing’s changed. Shhh. Breathe. It’s going to be okay.”

Shouyou still feels like he’s burning up, like there are coiled, knotted springs in his chest and stomach and his sight is still blurred with tears, but, he can breathe now. Just a little. Just a little more than he used to. Tobio’s hand runs up and down his back. The doctors and nurses around them fade out and Shouyou focuses on Tobio’s presence. It helps.

“As long as we’re together?” Shouyou croaks, and hopes his voice is audible enough.

It is. Tobio holds him close. “We’re invincible.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The episode can be narrowed down into Shouyou having an allergic reaction to the medication they put him on. Tobio just about bites the doctor’s head off. It’s nobody’s fault; Shouyou’s never had to be hospitalized like this before, he’s never had these medications before, there was no way to know before now and they luckily caught it before it got worse, but still. Tobio is very clearly upset and no amount of apologies make that better.

Shouyou’s still too weak and out of it to keep him from chewing out the doctor, but Tobio still ends up apologizing (to both of them) when the adrenaline has worn off. Since it was just the medication and not a full-blown relapse, there’s still a chance of them going home on time granted nothing of this sort happens again (which, hopefully it won’t, because Tobio may in fact kill somebody).

“Idiots, I can’t believe that happened.”

“It’s not their fault, Tobio. You know that.”

Tobio heaves a groan that says, yes, he absolutely does know that but is pissed enough to ignore it. He’s been noticeably upset ever since Shouyou regained coherency. Upset and overprotective.

Which is understandable. Shouyou isn’t nearly as intimidating as Tobio, but he’d do the same thing, feel the same way. He doesn’t really want to think about Tobio ever being in a position like the one Shouyou was in so he abandons that train of thought almost as soon as he boards it.

He listens to Tobio’s heartbeat instead, and Tobio rests his cheek on the top of his head.

“You feeling any better?”

“Little bit,” Shouyou says, and sighs. “I… I guess I’m still just kind of. Sad.”

“Yeah.” Tobio nods. “Yeah, me too. I’m sorry I yelled at you before. I was just— god, I don’t know what happened, I just—”

“I get it, it’s okay,” Shouyou says, and proves his point by pressing in closer. He can still smell the shampoo Tobio washed his hair with yesterday (it was just yesterday, it feels like ages ago), and he finds comfort in its familiarity. “I’m not mad at you, and I knew you weren’t mad at me. We’re okay.”

Tobio exhales longly and doesn’t say anything else, but Shouyou knows he understands. Shouyou absentmindedly taps Tobio’s forearm.

“Do you wanna sleep?” he asks.

Tobio exhales again, sharper this time. “Dumbass, I should be asking you that question.”

“I beat you to it. Loser.”

If he’d been feeling any better, Tobio definitely would have pushed him off the bed. “I wouldn’t say no to sleeping.”

“Then you should. I’ll wake you up again if I need you.”

“You sure?” Tobio’s voice is uncertain, but Shouyou can hear how tired he is. He nods.

“I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry.”

Tobio rolls his eyes. “That’s not what I’m worried about, dumbass.”

“Then you can sleep without any trouble.”

“Dumbass.”

“Seriously, I would feel better if you slept.”

Tobio sighs, and it’s resigned enough for Shouyou to know that he took it to heart. “Alright, alright. I’ll sleep. Wake me up if I crush you on accident, okay?”

“You won’t, but alright.”

Tobio leans into the headboard and shuts his eyes, and just moments later his breathing evens out, and he’s asleep. Shouyou isn’t surprised one bit. He taps at Tobio’s forearm for a bit afterwards, thinking gentle, non-committal thoughts, and then before long he’s dropping off, too.

The rest of the hospital stay is… fairly straightforward. Shouyou can’t convince Tobio to leave again (which, understandable, but infuriating all the same), and they spend most of their time watching crappy cooking competitions and romcoms and whatever else the TV has going that’s worth even making fun of. They find a baking channel—food without the competition—and the cakes absolutely baffle them. Neither of them really understand how baking works, much less stuff like cake and icing and frosting and layers and cream fillings. It’s mesmerizing. So that takes up another good chunk of their time.

They run a crap ton of tests on Shouyou, though, especially the first couple of days. They want to make sure it was actually an allergic reaction to the medicine and not something else, which leads to a lot of tests that bring back Tobio’s anxiety and leads to Shouyou having little to no energy for the rest of the day. The tests aren’t strenuous, but they take time, and he’s been sick and exhausted and dizzy for so long now that it’s taking a toll on him to bounce back.

Tobio’s presence is soothing, though. Tobio might not always be soothing in his speech and he’s abrasive, especially towards the doctor and nurses, but just his being here is enough to make Shouyou believe everything is going to be okay. He waits until Shouyou is sleeping before grabbing food down at the cafeteria and is always back before Shouyou wakes up. The situation still sucks, but it doesn’t suck as much as it would if Shouyou were alone in this place.

He doesn’t know what he’d do if he were alone.

Days pass. Shouyou gradually regains his strength. The night his fever breaks has Tobio celebrating, with a smile bigger than Shouyou has seen from him in a while. Shouyou doesn’t feel very celebratory, and he’s sweaty and gross and tired and the absence of the fever brought what felt like a whole new wave of tiredness, but it means they’re one step closer to home. Tobio holds him close that night, just like all other nights, and ignores every protest Shouyou has about his being disgusting.

“I’m gonna make you smell gross,” Shouyou complains, though he’d be lying if he said he doesn’t love Tobio’s arms around him, cradling him while his head spins and the world tips. And he’d be lying if he says he wants Tobio to let him go. “M’all nasty… n’ gross...”

“No, you’re getting better,” is Tobio’s argument, as he holds him securely and rocks them back and forth. “You’re getting better, Shou. I don’t know about you, but that’s the best news I’ve heard in months.”

Shouyou smiles weakly and headbutts Tobio’s chest. Tobio strokes his side and pets his damp hair.

Beneath the exertion and bone-deep tiredness, they’re happy.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The day they head home is a victorious one. Shouyou declines the nurse's wheelchair because he feels well enough to walk out on his own, and he must look like he feels well enough to walk on his own, too, because neither Tobio nor the nurse put up an argument. Shouyou definitely feels like his old self, and Tobio even said that he looks like his old self, which is even better. The morning they’re told he can be discharged, he’s bubbly and cheerful, thanking every nurse and doctor he comes across whether or not they helped him in particular. By the afternoon, Tobio and Shouyou have filed the discharge papers, and they’re clear to go.

Tobio phones another Uber to come pick them up, and it just so happens to be the same Uber who took them here in the first place. The Uber is ecstatic and expresses how happy he is that they're alright and well, and once they’re in the backseat with seatbelts snapped, they’re homeward bound.

They haven’t traveled for long when Shouyou catches Tobio staring at his visitor bracelet and leans over, hooking his chin on his shoulder. “Whatcha doin’?”

Tobio keeps looking at his bracelet. “Wondering how hard it’d be to chew through this damn thing.”

Shouyou laughs softly. “We’ll be home in five minutes, dummy,” he says, “you can wait for a pair of scissors.” He looks down at his own bracelet, too, with his name and case number (and now, the medication he had a reaction to. It has a funny name that he can’t pronounce). It’d be nice to have it off.

The Uber drops them off in front of their apartment, and Shouyou thanks him brightly, once again declines Tobio’s offer to help (“I’m fine, see!” he insists, and almost trips on his way out of the door. Tobio shrieks at him), and they thank the driver a final time before heading inside.

“You’re like a dog waiting to go to the dog park,” Tobio says, sorting through his keyring. Shouyou rocks and bounces beside him. “You’re gonna overexert yourself, dumbass. Chill.”

“Okay, I will,” Shouyou says, and promptly doesn’t. He feels a little dizzy and tired, which the doctors said was normal, but that doesn’t make him any less excited. They’re finally home.

Tobio swings the door inward and turns to him. “Your Majesty.” He bows mockingly, gesturing inside.

Shouyou flops a curstie and bounds inwards. He doesn’t make it past the genkan before he has to stop and take it in.

It’s just like it’s always been. Cheap couch, coffee table, busted TV set that barely works. The air is a bit stale because neither of them have been here in a little under a week, but Shouyou hardly pays that mind. They’re here now. It won’t be stale and quiet for much longer.

He hears Tobio follow behind him, pulling the door shut. Shouyou takes a long, deep breath. It smells like it always smelled, familiar and comforting and, well. Home.

"Home sweet home," he says.

Tobio nods, slinging the backpack onto one of the dining chairs. They’ll unpack it later. "Home sweet home,” he breathes, and Shouyou spins around to smile at him. Tobio smiles back.

And that’s really the bulk of what Shouyou gets to do, because the next thing he knows he’s being guided by Tobio down the hall and into the bedroom, where he’s sat on the bed and told to stay. It happens so suddenly and so quickly that he forgets he doesn’t want to go to sleep until after Tobio is turning away.

“Tobio, I told you, I’m fine,” Shouyou says, “you don’t have to worry about me. If I feel faint I’ll just lay down again.”

Tobio is having none of it. “No, you won’t,” he says, tossing the blanket over him and tucking it around his shoulders. “You’ll push yourself until you wind up hospitalized again. Dumbass.”

“I learned my lesson before!” Shouyou protests, sitting up again. “You look more dead on your feet than I do. I’ll heat up the soup and you can sleep for a bit.”

“No.”

“Tobioooo.”

“It literally takes five minutes.”

“Exactly! Which is why you shouldn’t have a problem with me doing it!”

“Nope, sorry.” He takes Shouyou by the shoulder and urges him to lay down again, which Shouyou does, though reluctantly. “It won’t take long. Try and get some rest until then, alright?”

Shouyou sighs, but words can only take him so far when it comes to Tobio. He doesn’t usually listen as far as his own well-being is concerned. “Fine,” he says. “Just hurry up.”

Tobio bonks their foreheads together gently and leaves the door cracked on his way out. Shouyou stares up at the ceiling for a while.

"Idiot," he murmurs.

He waits exactly five minutes before swinging himself out of bed, bundling a blanket in his arms and pattering quietly down the hall and into the living room. He knows exactly what he's going to find.

And, he's right. Tobio is on the couch with his head pillowed by his arms, fast asleep with his phone blinking on a downwards timer of 10 minutes.

Shouyou smiles softly and rolls his eyes. "Dummy," he whispers, spreading the blanket over him and bending down until he can press their foreheads together. "Stupid dummy."

Tobio sleeps on. Shouyou terminates the alarm, leaves the phone silenced on the table and heads into the kitchen. He can make the soup in Tobio's stead.

And, making the soup is the easy part. He swings himself through their kitchen, singing loudly to himself with the knowledge that it'd take a metal concert to wake Tobio now. He isn't the best at cooking but heating up the soup is easy enough (though he does bring it to a rolling boil by accident).

The harder part comes after the soup is finished, because he doesn't want it to get cold, but he also doesn't want to wake Tobio when he's sleeping like this. He hasn't slept this soundly probably since Shouyou first took ill. He needs it.

So.

Shouyou ultimately decides to put a lid on the pot and leave it while Tobio rests. Worst comes to worst he'll have to reheat it.

He's feeling marginally more lightheaded now, though, and sleeping is a lot more appealing than eating. He makes his way back into the living room, where Tobio is now curled on his side, and he wastes no time lying on the couch with him, draping an arm around his shoulders. Tobio immediately hugs him and yanks him close, so suddenly that it draws a yelp from Shouyou.

But he smiles, and runs his fingers through Tobio's hair.

"Stupid dummy," he repeats fondly. "What am I supposed to do with you, huh?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Tobio wakes up, it’s dark as all hell and they’re still on the couch. He doesn’t quite register the ‘they’re’ part of that for much longer.

Shouyou is on top of him, curled into his chest with his knees digging into the back of the couch, fingers clutching fistfulls of Tobio’s t-shirt. There’s a blanket twisted and bunched in awkward places around them, uncomfortable and not doing its job, but Tobio finds he doesn’t care enough to do anything about it. His phone is on the coffee table. He reaches for it. All his alarms were silenced.

He heaves a sigh, but a knowing sigh, not a frustrated one. “I was going to sleep after I made the soup.”

“I made the soup,” Shouyou murmurs without hesitation. “And now we’re both sleeping. So. We both win.”

“We didn’t eat anything.”

“We can eat later. Midnight-snack style.”

Tobio squints at the clock. “It is midnight.”

“Two in the morning snack, then.”

Tobio sighs again but he doesn’t have any objections to give on the matter, not really. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t comfortable this way. Comfortable even with the blanket twisted around and underneath him, with Shouyou’s weight on his chest, with Shouyou’s elbows and ankles digging into him. Just being home with Shouyou is all the comfort he needs.

He breathes in a long breath. Shouyou still smells like hospital and antiseptic and—well, like someone who’s been sick in the hospital for a week, but there’s still some of Shouyou buried beneath all of it. His hoodie is clean and smells like their laundry detergent. And a shower or two later, the gross hospital stench will be gone. Things will be normal.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” Shouyou murmurs, sounding close to sleep again. “I know these past two weeks have been really hard for you. Thank you.”

“Of course.” Tobio holds his head to his chest and pets his hair again. “Thank you for holding on. You were so damn strong, you know? That was scary as all hell, but you did really, really good. Brave, stupid dumbass. God, I love you.”

Shouyou laughs gently, and it’s one of the most wonderful sounds Tobio has ever heard. “I love you, too.”

They’ve been saying that a lot to each other. It isn’t usually something they make a habit of, just because neither of them are good with words and it’s easier to share their affection with a look, or a smile, or a touch. But the verbal confirmation is a comfort, too. Like being wrapped in a warm blanket, handed a mug of hot cocoa and told everything is going to be okay.

And they are okay. They sleep, they wake up around 2am and eat soup, they sleep again, they watch TV, they rest, they take it easy, and they’re okay. As long as they have each other, there’s nothing they can’t overcome.

#cloud writes #haikyuu!!#hq #fanfiction #fanfic #qpr kagehina #kagehina #queerplatonic relationships #hurt/comfort #sickfic #sick hinata shouyou #kageyama tobio #this is just soft fluff for the sake of soft fluff #kageyama is worried and taking care of a sick shouyou and thats the entire fic #cuddles #comfort #fever #whump

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fmdhaseo · 5 years ago

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ヽ(〃＾▽＾〃)ﾉ wOoOoOoOow i’m so excited to be here finally!! typically i’m a pretty ~ minimalistic ~ person when it comes to formatting ‘n stuff, but i’ma go a little ham on this introduction because i’m really excited!! ANYWHO, my name’s cheyenne ( but please call me chey ) and i represent the drastically under-appreciated mst. i use he/him pronouns, and for anyone who’s curious, i’m 21+!! i’ve been eying this group for awhile now, but hadn’t joined because of school and work reasons, but my town’s in lockdown, so i finally have a bunch of new time on my hands to write!! now that that’s outta the way though, please love me and my first ever muse here!! her name is jeon haseo and she’s lucid’s main vocalist and lead dancer. in my head, she sounds a bit like wjsn’s yeonjung, gfriend’s yuju, and dreamcatcher’s siyeon when she sings, and when she dances, she reminds lots of people of twice’s mina and her gorgeous face-claim, wjsn’s bona!! she’s a former prima ballerina at a dance company in korea that she was pushed out of due to accusations of favoritism, and even though the board at the school were adamant against said accusations, it was lowkey kinda true lol. her dad is a former dancer that’s received tons of acclaim in the dance world, and it’s said that his name is what landed her all her opportunities in ballet —- whoops!! she doesn’t really know that though, but before i carry on too much, you can read more of my ramblings about her below the cut!! [ youtuber vc ] don’t forget to smash that like button if you wanna plot with us!!

i. —- haseo was born in seoul, south korea to a dancer and plastic surgeon, so they had a lot of money to sit on while they raised their daughter. she was brought up in prestigious dance rehearsal spaces, as well as in top-of-the-line hospitals, but instead of wanting to follow in her mother’s footsteps, she decided it’d be more fun to dance like her dad!! she showed promise when she was little, so they nurtured her talents as best they could.

ii. —- her childhood really wasn’t all that bad, to be honest, like, she never struggled with making friends, she got everything she wanted, her parents were supportive... what more could she have really asked for, you know? she got along with everyone due to her many interests —- from ballet, to video games, to barbies, to monster trucks —- but that all sorta changed whenever she entered high school. being that she attended a school for the arts danced with a company in their junior program, and had a reputable father, a lot of people started to be really catty with her. she learned how ugly the world could be at a pretty small age, and it’s deffff affected how she sees the world and deals with her problems.

iii. —- fast forward to high school graduation, haseo gets offered a spot in a professional company to dance ballet almost immediately. a little sketchy? perhaps, but what’s even sketchier is that she was offered the leading role in her first ever show. vile words spread throughout the whole school and due to the accusations of favoritism, the company decided to terminate her contract rip. she became big sad and almost didn’t dance again until [ spoiler alert ] she was given a chance to audition for dimensions entertainment!!

iv. —- she didn’t really wanna become an idol, but she did it anyway because she wanted to dance for a career. she really didn’t even need to have a career with how much money her parents made, but it was important to her to be financially independent, so she decided to stick with it to see if it’d work. long story short, she discovered that she’s a FAB singer, and her long history of dance def helped her standout from the crowd. she trained for two years before her debut, and like, when she was announced to be main vocalist, she literally almost died i think lmao. like, the fact that she was granted main vocal but not main dancer really shook her ass up, but she accepted her fate and tried her best.

v. —- the concept changes were a whirlwind, but she likes the more soft vibes that the schoolgirl trilogy gave her. she also thinks it makes better use of her dance skills, but she isn’t really the one in control here now is she? ANYWAY —- her career is blossoming a lot and she’s really excited, but at the same time, she despises that she’s a person of public scrutiny now. she never wanted that to happen at the level that it has, but she puts up with it because she feels she already made her bed, so now she’s gotta lie in it. not to mention that she has some of her old peers from dance starting an online hate group to hate on her, so you know... this isn’t exactly what she had in mind for her life, but she just takes it in stride and hopes that, someday, it’ll make for good stories to tell her grandkids lol.

vi. —- i realize that i haven’t really given a description of her personality or her as a person yet, and well, that sucks, so i’ma do it right here, right now!! how would i describe haseo? let’s see —- she’s kinda, like, prissy but it’s definitely more outwardly adorable than it is obnoxious, if that makes sense? she HATES getting dirt on her clothes, she hates having crud under her nails, and she hates when other people lack personal hygiene skills, but she was taught well and doesn’t really voice her harsh judgments unless she’s provoked lol. it also appears to me that she has tons of patience naturally, but is also kind of a hot-head if you actually manage to piss her off, so good luck to your muses if that happens!! she also HATES being woken up from sleep, like, she’ll literally kill you if you do. she’s more than likely gotten into tons of fights with other lucid girls because of it —- whoops!! she’s also SUPER femme, to be honest? she takes way too long to get ready before leaving the house, and almost refuses to leave looking a mess. her hair is always immaculate, her makeup is BEAT, and her clothes are gorgeous, and all paid for with daddy’s card lmao. other than all that though, she doesn’t really fit the “rich girl” stereotype in that she doesn’t act like a snob to just anyone, yk? she’s really open to meeting new people, and she’s a fiercely loyal friend to people she loves, as well as a HOPELESS ROMANTIC [ she’s a taurus, after all ] with her bfs/gfs. she’s also MAD cuddly with anyone, like, she doesn’t give a fuck, she communicates v well with physicality and touch!! if you got any questions ab her, don’t hesitate to lmk!!

#* ♡ ｡ intro.#* ♡ ｡ ooc. / i’m so happy to be here! ★~(◠△◕✿)

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mccoys-killer-queen · 5 years ago

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This Week’s Playlist (2/14)

Not sure how I got hooked on this idea- but this week I’ll be focusing entirely on 70s songs (and next week I’ll do 80s). Disclaimer: I’m not saying these are my favorite songs of the 70s (believe me that would be WAYYY too hard to narrow down), I’m just filling this week’s list strictly with songs released in the 70s.

I’ve also created a spotify playlist made up of all the songs I’ve used on playlists! I’ll update it every week (before I even post the playlist, so if you check at the right time the songs will be there!)

1.) London Calling- The Clash (1979) I like to define this song as the song that started my descent into classic rock. When I was in 7th grade I had this music teacher who would always play pop music of the late 20th century for class. This song was one of the first songs she showed us, and it became a trademark of the class. We used to get this song played at dances and stuff- so there’s a lot of middle school memory there. Guess we all wanted to be punks- and this is a great boppy song just for that.

2.) All Right Now- Free (1970) Am I being typical for picking this song...? Perhaps (because honestly, at least where I’m from, this is the only Free song anyone knows... yikes. It’s overused in media sometimes imo). But that doesn’t meant it’s not great! It’s got everything! An epic guitar riff that frames the lyrics, a sick beat, funny rhymes, a killer musical interlude with bangin piano and a guitar solo- all while being undeniably CHILL. This one of those chill summer songs to me; the kind you listen to on a hot, quiet, and sunny car ride through the country with the windows down while wearing sunglasses. That’s just the aesthetic I’ve always associated with this song.

3.) Rock’n Me- Steve Miller Band (1976) Just try not to bop. I dare you. This is a real dance-a-little-in-your-seat song with a GREAT, smooth flow to it. Killer rhymes and a fast, subtle beat you can’t avoid even if you try. Steve Miller Band is one of my favorite groups of the 70s and I wish they got more appreciation in general. I could’ve picked so many of their songs already for these playlists, but this one stood out to me this week because I feel like it’s very recognizable (I always heard this song as a kid and I feel like maybe some people on here did too). It’s so damn catchy that it’ll just stick with you, so listen and get ready for an earworm. Also a great road trip song.

4.) Once Bitten, Twice Shy- Ian Hunter (1975) No, this isn’t Great White!! This is the song we all know and love but this one’s the original! I feel like I need to educate anyone who’ll listen about this! *scoff* god, now I can see why Joe Elliott’s always shoving Ian Hunter in everyone’s faces- because he’s worth it! Maybe I’m a little biased, but I personally prefer this version over Great White’s for a bunch of different reasons. For one thing, I think this version focuses more on telling the story rather than trying to make the music over the top. The instrumentals of this one ROCK, but the way it’s constructed with the lyrics makes the story more understandable- essentially, it’s just more raw, and I like the raw sound to it, but that’s just me. You all probably know how the song goes at this point, but after listening to this version you’ll see just how much of it Great White changed. You take it upon yourself to decipher the meaning of the lyrics ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I think we all know what “rock and roll” means at this point...

5.) Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’- Journey (1979) I don’t like to acknowledge Valentine’s Day, nor was I going to mention it in any way on this playlist- but let me tell you a story: last year on VD, I was driving home from school, and this song came on the radio. Then it hit me- I had completely forgotten about ANTI-Valentine’s Day songs! This is a PERFECT example of one. It tells of an unfaithful someone who gets bitten in the ass by someone else’s unfaithfulness. Talk about a SICK burn! This has gotta be my favorite Journey song as well. It’s like a flash-fiction song; telling a huge story while barely saying anything at all. My favorite part of this song by far is how each instrument has a crystal clear part, and you can very easily pick out each one. The intro of this song is just excellent. You can clearly hear the bass, drums, guitars, and piano all introduced in different ways. It’s just a gorgeous song through and through, and those 189 “na”s at the end just tie it all together (and yes, I counted). You’ll have all the words down before you know it.

6.) You’re All I’ve Got Tonight- The Cars (1978) Like I said last week, The Cars are one of the perfect combos of rock and pop. If you think about it, this one can be another anti-Valentine’s Day song. The lyrics have a sloppy and desperate feel to them- kinda like the speaker is drunk and throwing themselves at someone because they’re that desperate. “I don’t care if you hurt me some more, I don’t care if you even the score”- like oof man, you just sound desperate. This song is a banger in every way and let’s face it- the keyboard at the chorus is just the absolute best part. Strong points for these guys are always keyboards and guitars. It’s got this rock hard chill 80s vibe to it (despite it being a 70s song- new wave, you know), you’ll feel that you need to be doing something cool while listening to it.

7.) Rock and Roll- Led Zeppelin (1971) It’s so cliche of me to use this I know I know I KNOW- but can you blame me? On Sunday in a record booth at the market I found an original Zeppelin IV and I feel like this song has been following me all week because of it. This is unarguably one the most recognizable and famous rock songs of all time- because it was so expertly crafted in every way imaginable- just like everything else Zeppelin’s ever done. It’s ALWAYS the drums that do it for me in this song. l That filler at the end is- without question- the best part of the whole song. Bonzo just KILLS it. Overall, it’s a short-ish song that uses its time extremely well; it’s like all four of them went “let’s maximize every single element that goes into a bop, and make a song like that”. In some ways, this song is objectively perfect. If you want pure rock and roll in all its glory- what better song to choose than Rock and Roll itself?

8.) Keep Yourself Alive- Queen (1973) Another objectively perfect rock and roll song with a killer drum solo. I’m super biased towards Queen- but I cannot believe I never heard of this song until I was prepping my brain to see Bohemian Rhapsody! Honestly, who thinks it’s okay to keep this hidden? It’s the leading song off of their very first album- so this is almost like the song that INVENTED Queen fans! It’s a Brian May baby- and hell yeah does it show. I think everyone needs to know this song for artistic and historical reasons. It’s pure, power rock Queen through and through- despite being one of the earliest of their songs.

9.) Cum On Feel the Noize- Slade (1973) NO, it’s not Quiet Riot!! This is the song we all know and love but this one’s the original!! Again, I feel like I need to educate anyone who’ll listen about this! I get so angry sometimes that Quiet Riot gets all the credit for songs like this one and Mama Weer All Crazee now. Slade was super popular in England in the 70s- ahead of their time for sure but definitely one with the glam rock movement- but not as big in America. I never knew these guys existed until about five years ago and damn I felt like I had to be blind before learning that. Just listen to this song and then I think the sound of it’ll make a lot more sense, like “oh yeah- Quiet Riot’s version kinda DOES sound like it could be a glam rock song from the early 70s!” Just goes to show what geniuses these guys were, because their songs can be both glam rock AND heavy metal and work either way. Once you hear this version, though, I believe there’s no going back.

10.) Roll With the Changes- REO Speedwagon (1978) This was my favorite song for a few months when I was 16- it’s absolutely EPIC. The speaker is bursting at the seams with accepting a new found moral understanding of how they feel about trying to please or win over an apparent lover. They come to the conclusion that the other person just needs to keep on “rolling with the changes” and that they’ll be there for them whenever they decide to accept that perspective. The KEYBOARD is to D I E F O R GUYS. Neal Doughty is a motherfucking SAINT- and SO IS GARY RICHRATH. This song sounds like it’s the finale of a musical or something! Possibly the biggest bop REO has ever created. It’s a groovy, extremely poetic, fast, theatrical, very slightly operatic rock and roll song and I’d highly recommend this to any person on the planet I love it that much. It’s lovable in every possible way.

#the clash #free #steve miller band #ian hunter #journey #the cars #led zeppelin #queen #slade #reo speedwagon #weekly playlists #raydio gaga

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mytrashs-blog · 5 years ago

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Alter Ego ch. 3 “Ipsum Invenies”

Spideychelle, Peter Parker x Reader, slow burn fic, Enhanced reader.

Word Count: 2,158

Warnings: PTSD, nightmares, police being assholes, victim blaming. Mentions of rape and traumatic experiences

Summary: “When you can do the things that I can, but you don’t, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.”

A/N: third chapter already! I’m really enjoying writing this and believe me that the plot thickens a lot more in the next chapter, but I would love it if you reblogged this if you enjoyed it, because it gets sad when I spent so long writing just for it to get only likes. Anyways, the taglist is still open, and just one ask away. Hope you enjoy this :) xx

Ch. 2 “Organorum” Ch. 4 “Perficiendi”

“You’re not gonna believe this.” you look at your roomate and you can’t believe it yourself, she looks at you corncerned, but she follows when you start walking towards your room. The apartment is made of two rooms, one bathroom and a small kitchen that’s right by the living room, there’s not that much space, but the five steps it took to get to your room door gave you enough time to think about the next thing you’d say: “Okay, you know how almost all the Avengers and superheores these days got their “special abilities” out of some kind of experiment, right? Like, Captain America is strong and super hot because of the weird thing they did to him during World War II, and the same with Winter Soldier. And then Scarlett Witch also got experimented on and stuff, you follow?”

“Yes, but what are you on about? Are you gonna call your parents or not?”

“Okay, so when the uber dropped me, tied and naked in the middle of fucking nowhere, assuming I was dead, someone took me as a lab rat. I woke up in a lab-like bed and they injected some shit on me and it basically made me feel like they set my veins on fire. Then I fainted and they dropped me in a lake because they thought I was dead, but I wasn’t. And I got out of the water. I untied myself and got out of the lake. They did took me to the hospital and they did give me some IV stuff, but when I got there I didn’t have any bruises or wounds or scars from any encounter I faced. And this morning the thing with the lady happened and… Oh my god… I think I…”

“Did you become a superhuman?”

“I think so” You reply while you look at your hands, anxious to unveil exactly what your new abilities are. “Let’s see, we know I might heal fast, I have a danger sensor, the world looks a lot wider and all my senses are like 10 times more intense… how do I know what else is going on?”

“Do you wanna google Superheroes and their super powers?” your roomie asks while taking her phone out.

“Yes, brilliant idea!” You reply as you get closer to her to take a look at her phone screen. The results end up being written down in a list. You get rid of the obvious ones like Ironman, who doesn’t actually have powers, or Thor who is an actual God. Once you get to the enhanced people, the party begins, it’s a funny and interesting scene.

“So Captain Great Ass has over developed muscle tissue and brain, which means he’s like super strong and intelligent… What can you lift to test your strenght?” She says while looking around the room. “Lift the bed.”

“I’ve always been able to lift that.” You’re looking for something harder. “Let’s see if I can lift one of the cars outside!” you suggest while looking at the widow.

“Don’t you care about being seen? I mean, some super people like to keep their identity hidden.”

“Oh, c’mon! I might not even be able to lift it.” But you could, as if it was not heavier than your matress, you lifted the car and you placed it back down before losing your mind. Neither you or your roomie could believe what was going on.

And your day was spent like that until you came up with the definitive list of abilities you possess now. You realized you share a lot of powers with Spider-man: super strenght, adhesive fingertips, the danger sense that made you feel the lady was in risk was very similar to his spider sense and it’s the same that made all of your normal senses shoot up, but besides all that, you also have some hyper flexibility, a slight super speed, and some kind of mind control, but you didn’t get too far with that because it gave you and your roomie a terrible headache.

“Are you finally going to call your parents?” She asks as she hands you a pill for the headache, though it was already going away, you take the pill hoping it’d give you the will of facing your parents and telling them what happened to you, but frankly, it isn’t a thing you wanna talk about with anbody.

“I guess I have to, but I really don’t know what to say.” You put your head in your hands to hide the tears welling up in your eyes, you try to even your breathing to not break in front of her.

“Start by telling them you’re alive and fine. You’ll tell them the rest when you feel ready.” She puts her phone in front of you, you take it and dial your house land line number. It doesn’t take long until someone picks up and you hear your mother’s voice.

“Hello.” She says and immediately, the tears start falling down your eyes uncontrollably, you hadn’t realized just how much you needed to hear your mother’s voice.

“M-mom…” you sob out.

“(Y/N), my little girl, tell me it’s actually you, please.” She says and she’s crying too.

“Yes mom, it is me. I’m fine, I’m home now. I woke up in a hospital, but Sebastian helped me, I’m fine.”

“Oh, (Y/N)! My little girl! I’m so happy to hear you alive and fine. The police told us they were trying to find the body, said there was no chance for you to still be alive, but they were wrong, they were wrong in not trying to find the bastard that did this to you, but God sees everything and he’ll put them in their place. My little girl, I love you so much!”

“I love you too, mom… wh- what do you mean they’re not looking for the driver?”

“No, when we went to press the charges, they turned it around to us, they said a woman had no place being out so late, much less wearing short shorts and thin shirt, that maybe you were asking for it, they said you have a reputation in uni of dating around and they decided it was your fault you got what happened to you.” Your blood boils, not because they said all that about you, but becuase you’ve heard the same crap before, with every case of someone gone missing it was always because they were in the wrong path, they were drinking or doing drugs, they were women traveling by themselves, they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, or they were simply racially profiled. It was never the agressor’s fault, it was always the victim’s responsability. And your parents had to listen to all that bullshit, only because some people are too lazy to do their job.

After making sure that both your mother and father believe you that you’re okay and very much alive in your apartment, you hang up and got out of the place. Your roomate was probably off watching some movie in her room so she didn’t hear you come out. You walk as far as you can, you’re mad, but these new abilities give you a new hope, you might be able to do something with this. Not doing so would give that uber driver and many more perverts free passage to keep abusing inoccent people like you, but it’s not like you can just walk into his house and punch him with your brand new super strenght, because to start with, you don’t even know where he lives, plus you gotta protect yourself now, because what if you go around flaunting your new powers and the people that put them there find you? They’re not the kindest people judging by their modus operandi. Would they come to find you and finish what they started?

You get back home a little before midnight, you walk in peacefully, your roomate sitting in a chair in front of the only table of the apartment.

“Where were you? You can’t keep dissapearing like that, you don’t even have a phone and I really don’t wanna go through the same shit I did two weeks ago.”

“Believe me, I share the feeling more than anyone. I was walking… thinking. You can’t tell anyone about my powers, I have to go back to my normal life with the least amount of fuss posible. I have a plan to go after that bastard driver, but he can’t know it’s me… I need a suit… and to learn how to use all I’ve got.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I don’t want anyone to live through the shit show I had to live through, because it is a fucking hell, Lexi!”

“So what? You’re gonna dress up and go after criminals just like that? You’re crazy if you think I’m gonna allow that, you can’t put yourself at risk like that! You might be very strong and you might be able to stick to walls and all that shit, but you’re not bulletproof, you might get killed. What am I gonna tell your parents? I already had to tell them you might be dead once, I don’t want to tell them for sure that you are!”

“Lexi… I’m not gonna go find him today. I have to train or something. I don’t know how to fight and I don’t know how to control everything I can do, I’ve gotta get used to my new way of perceiving the world and I need a plan. And I might not be bulletproof, but I can make a suit that is, or that at least can put up a fight.”

“(Y/N) are you even listening to yourself? You want to go find some crazy dude that raped you, tortured you, assumed you were dead and dumped you in the middle of nowhere like garbage! You really wanna go after him?

“He didn’t assume I was dead, he did kill me in a way… and I want to avenge the part of me that died tied, naked and humiliated in the dirt, because aparently the justice system in this country won’t do it, you understand? My country didn’t give one single fuck about my wellbeing, to them I deserved to end up like that for going out at night in shorts!” You don’t know how or when you started crying, but the tears felt hot against your skin with uncontrolable sobs and memories you’d rather block from your mind. Lexi, your roomate hugs you and caresses your hair until you relax a little.

“If you have to do this, I’ll help you.”

“Thank you.”

…

Peter had made some progress in his research, had a few leads to follow, this was not the only case, there were some cases going all the way to Mexico with the same characteristics, and there was a full investigation that linked that to one of the most important mafias in the world, but nobody ever knows where they’re located, they have people all over the world, Peter can’t simply drop everything and follow some mafia all around the world, he’s in his senior year of high school, he’s graduating soon, he has MIT to worry about now, plus his relationship with MJ is going steady and they’re going to prom together. He can’t just walk away from all this to put himself at risk of being killed by a mafia so big that is all over the globe, but if he tells Mr. Stark he might end up taking his suit again.

Why not tell him anyway? He can come up with a good excuse as to why or how all this information ended in his hands, he’s a teenger in the 21st century, tech and information are one touch away, right?

“KAREN call Mr. Stark, would you?”

“Calling Tony Stark.” and just a few rings later, Tony answered the phone.

“What’s up, kid?”

“Hi Mr. Stark, I wanted to tell you about some stuff that I read and that I thought you might find interesting, I think it’s got something to do with the experiments.”

“How did you find that?”

“I was doing this essay for my Spanish class and this popped up. I wanted to show it to you in case you want to go do some research to Mexico or something, because I obviously can’t go because I have… homework.” this causes Mr. Stark to giggle, but he didn’t say anything, when the call ended Peter sent all his info, but he still couldn’t stop thinking about the whole matter, how it wouldn’t take long to reach other parts of america, they might be making their way to the south if they already reached mexico, he doesn’t want them to reach any other country. No one has to die anymore.

Taglist: @caeruleum-in-caritate-lupus, @softstarkk, @peterparkerbabyy, @dottirose, @legit-fandom-trash, @carostar2020, @appreciating-chase-brody, @mvmakki

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96xie · 5 years ago

Text

2019

a whole summary of this difficult year

2019 was full of unexpected good and bad surprises along with lessons and experiences.

january

spent good time with mocha, wayo and brian

had such a good time with guildies from our game

met up with some other ppl from the same game and didnt feel too good bc i was never good with crowds and/or groups that were already well established

tried tinder for the first time because i thought it would be nice to put myself out there for once

feburary

continued my tinder journey and actually had fun with it. it was pretty scary at the same time because it was such a new experience talking to other people and to have them notice you? because i always knew and felt that i wasnt really the desirable one.

actually hooked up with a guy from last months meetup and hung out twice. thought it was going somewhere because he, too, showed signs to progress further ((was wrong because he lied and showed red flags later))

one major red sign to me: no response after genuinely saying thank you for rides and dinner. im the type of person who always says thank you because im honestly grateful for the little and big things. he basically shrugged it off.

also, a huge liar. yah, big no

i brought him to my friends birthday bc they and himself wanted to meet each other, it was fun while it lasted but stuff happened

towards the end of the month, i cut my ties off with him for being awfully mean to me and also cut ties with my “friends” for having really bad assumptions of me.

i was frustrated with myself at that time bc his cats gave me a bad breakout and i felt super ugly. also i wasnt sad over him, but over the fact that i let myself be treated like a second option. eventually i learned that it was good that i didnt let things go further and that i only deserve the very best.

even though i was hurt, i thought it was a good experience, esp since i havent really been in the “dating game” for years. like it was a just a small step to putting myself out there once again

a week later after that a classmate asked me out and got tons of compliments from him and wondered “the universe really works in crazy ways”

march

met some cool people through the same mobile game on a discord server and they were much better than the first group.

also met this really funny dude in the same group. like he was so fun to talk to and he understood my dumb lingo

remember when my classmate asked me out on a date? it turned out a bit weird. but considering this was my first date in YEARS i thought it was a cool experience. got some carne asada fries outta him

i had the dude i was talking to call me so i could leave the date tho LOL ((he helped me lots, esp how to deal with awkward situations with my classmate. also at this point, i really liked talking to him but i wasnt rly sure if i wanted to date other guys bc i had been hurt previously)

this month was pretty much dedicating most of my time talking to him and i enjoyed it alot

also went to pubs for the first time to hangout with my coworkers. such an interesting place

april

tried rollerskating for the first time ever, ended up with a bunch of bruises but it was cool!

also tried 7leaves for the first time and instantly fell in love with mungbean

also went clubbing in sf with my friends and it was such a fun time like i had SO much fun

i got auctioned off of SAD! that phase was just a crazy ride. while there was many that dm’d me, there was only one special person that i only replied to and continued to talk to him on a daily basis

((honestly, i was scared that i was taking things a bit further with him because a part of me was like “are you ready for this?” and “have you really recovered from that guy?” or “can you give this guy your all?” just alot of overthinking))

spent 4/20 at sf with my friends, and overall had a GREAT time. took too many hits and drank so ya gorl was crossfaded. not sure if i wanna do tht again tho

unfortunately woke up with a swollen face and it lasted for a LONG time.

may

so my face is still swollen, still bad, red as a tomato and at this point i was really hesitant to meet up with the guy ive been talking to. i mean!! my skin was SO bad. i felt like i was gonna make a fool out of myself by scaring him away

but,,,, he was still willing to see me despite my appearance and : ( he was so accepting and typing this makes my heart ache bc he is SUCH a good man : (

i met up with the guy towards the end of the month in sj and first thing he does when i walk up to him is give me this great warm hug and so many smooches !!!!!!! like my heart is melting

eventually we became official !!! he got us an airbnb for the night and we jus spent time cuddling on the bed and honestly i : ( i like him so much

june

my birthday wasnt rly that like “wow” it was actually kinda annoying

my bf flew up to sf where we met up, explored the city and slept the night in at an airbnb. next day went to oakland where i introduced my friends to him!

went to my first festival with several with my friends, including ppl from our same guild from our game and it was SO fun

rolled for the first time and it was SUCH an experience. redosed like twice and ended up hallucinating which is something ill def not do again

also i really wished my bf was with me at that time : ( while i had an extremely fun time, i wish i shared that moment with him : (

july

went to vegas for my cousins 22nd bday. shit was wild

also rolled there.

also threw up for the very first time

a fight broke out at the club and that shit was fuckgin CRAZY and it was RIGHT next to our table

also used alot of my money for the whole trip in which nobody really told me about so …. i was like ok.. fuck …

also my skin was still bad during these past months so it was pretty hard masking it

like really hard. with someone with terrible eczema, its just extremely hard to hide it

august

bf flew to sac!!! he met my mom for the first time and we explored the city and stuff

and went on an ikea date! and! honestly i just really loved spending time with him :c

we also spent time with my friends! they came over also! and ate some fuckgin bomb ass waffles

and then took bus down to la to meetup with some friends from our guild towards the end of the month!

it was pretty nice to be able to stay with my bf in his apartment !!!!!

also some scalding tea but thats rly for another time

to make it super short tho: our friend that we’ve known much longer than the girl he met (less than 3 months) dropped our friendship SO quick lol

september

cousin bonding @ beach, too cold for tht doe

towards the end of the month, my bf flew me down!!! so i spent the weekend with him and like always, only had a good time with him!

AND ALWAYS EATING GOOD FOOD!

october

during this fall semester, i took online classes and one of them was a 8week class. there was a topic about mental health and how we can take care of ourselves better and i just thought it was such an important thing to cover. i feel like its not talked about enough

november

spent thanksgiving with my family down in morgan hill and ate good food! honey ham has a special place in my heart.

went black friday shopping first at walmart, lowkey disappointed in myself because i was bummed out the apple watches were sold out. the materialistic part of me jumped out oof

slept at my cousins then went to the mall! didnt get anything besides really good bulgogi fries. i hated going into stores tho cuz everything was literally crowded. hated it !!!!!!!

went to a small festival in sacramento with my friends at the end of the month and this time is 7 of us (than the usual 5)! it was sososo fun.

also took my coworker with me, it was actually amusing to see bc our group were all asian and he’s the only tall white guy

made hotpot at home and we also went out for milktea and waffles again! sooo good.

december

flew down to see my bf again and only had a good time! went to this garden with beautiful lights and ! ugh! SO pretty!

cried in his bed before my flight back, cried on the plane, cried at home and cried before i slept. i miss him

also racked up alot of hours so i could pay for my tuition and my family’s bills. kinda sucks bc im pretty tired but i gotta do what do i gotta do.

christmas was a bit lonely bc my mom went to the philippines and i dont rly talk to my brother but my kuya came the next day and we ate n watched stuff

overall, it was a whacky year. but im so glad to have met ed. he means SO much to me. a part of me was so hesitant to date him because i mean, he’s man with his life set. i dont have a car, im still in school, i have this part time job where im giving my mom all my paychecks and which the only money im keeping is just my tips (not much), i still have issues with myself and other conflicts and honestly theres much to do, learn and grow from. but he’s so supportive, understanding and loving and i love and appreciate him from the bottom of my heart. most of the time i wonder if im doing and if im being enough for him. i worry about that alot but he’s so patient with me. i laugh alot when im with him and i feel so happy.

did i mention that we are long distance? him being in la and me in sacramento. so the only thing thats connecting us is facetime. maybe once every two months will i see him in person but yep. when i had my first panic attack, i really wanted him right next to me. at that moment i felt even more sad because of course you’re gonna want you’re significant other during a moment like that. but anyways, i always miss him and i always want him next to me and i always love him. i want to hurry up and get my education done with so i can be with him. not to sound like omg im so madly infatuated with him type of thing tho. he’s someone who understands me and knows how to love me.

i hope 2020 treats me well despite all the challenges ahead of me.

#phew #old mutuals im on twtr! keep in contact with me there!

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ain-t-bovvered · 6 years ago

Text

14x15 Commentary

Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon (Kat) good night babe

@waywardbaby (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered (Giulia)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Giulia: Oh the music is the stupid episode kind of music

Nat: awww

Zee: Baby dean

Giulia: THE WHIMPERING

J: I didn’t want to leave it there. And I didn't want to just kill it.

M: I’m looking for a new home

Giulia: I can be your new home bb

Nat: NO

Giulia: I DON T TRUST IT

Zee: Bamf Jack!! Two words I never thought I’d use In the same sentence

Nat: We're in Lawrence aren't we

Zee: In what year?

Scooby doo matinee 2$ . WHAT

oh look a Metallica poster. I still have that CD

Giulia: oh look My aesthetic

Giulia: That James Dean vibe tho

What’s this stupid music.

Zee: Charming acres???

Nat: "Where Everybody's Happy" Are we in Pleasant Ville?

I don’t trust shit.

Zee: Splash

See..?

Nat: Brain-mush

Giulia: CLEAN AISLE 3

Nat: Well, good morning to my breakfast

Giulia: TRUEST REACTION on supernatural EVER

Giulia: he loves that snake

Nat: SNAKY

C: *knocks* Hey Jack?

J: I’m good Castiel. [OMG DAAAAD stop breathing on my neck]

C: [sigh, semi-soulless teenagers]

Giulia: What’s up with the all black

C: How's the snake?

J: I don't think he's feeling well. He won’t eat.

well...doesn’t snakes eat rarely tho? like....once a week or something?

Zee: He misses his previous owner

LOOK AT THAT CUTE FUCKING SOFT SMILE . FUCK YOU MISHA

C: He's been through a lot of changes in a short period of time. I guess that's something you have in common.

Nat: He's going dark

Zee: Concerned dad

C: Jack, you killed Michael. You consumed his grace.

Giulia: I. DON T. TRUST. THIS. DID HE THO?

but also.....right now I’m that granny that mistook Cas for her 3rd husband , : “you are so pretty Charles”

Nat: I feel different now.... YA THINK

J: You want to know how much of my soul I had to burn off to kill Michael.

Yeah fuck I wanna know ok.

Nat: How could he know?!

Giulia: can’t cas look it up

Nat: He could stick his hand in there.

Giulia: HE COULD

Nat: That sounded wrong

Giulia: IT DID.

Zee: Deep inside. There I made it worse

J: I try not to think about it.

BAD.

I don’t like that hollow stare Jack, I swear to fucking god Imma slap your soul back into your body.

so I’m listening to the ep with my headphones and BOOOOOOY DID I HEAR THAT SIGH [cranking up the volume to the max and goes back]

Nat: I could eat him alive. And the sandwich

A wild Castiel appears.

C: Oh. Thought you, uh, were gonna sleep until the cows dragged you home.

D: That's not the -- Never mind.

THE *claps* DOMESTICS *claps*

AWE Cass asked about Rowena. [ what was the ship name again? Rostiel?, Caswena?Witchywings?

AWE CAS ASKED ABOUT SAM. [SASTIEEEEL]

D: I think they're both full of crap.

Of course they are, this is Supernatural. Cue painful montage!

*jazz hands*

Giulia: Poor sam

Zee: PTSD

Nat: Sammy :(

Giulia: They were his people

Sam and his fucking trembling lips

Nat: Aw Baby let me hug you

[Dean eating]

Giulia: Das me

Nat: I'm still hungry

Zee: Damn that mouth. It’s big

Giulia: What does it do tho ? wiggling eyebrows

Zee: It eats!! Everything

S: Yeah, well... I'm leaving in ten.

C: Maybe I should go with him. And you can stay with Jack.

me : GASP YES

D: Why do you think he'll talk to me?

hE ‘S YOUR SOOOOON!

C: Well, because he looks up to you.

Dean don’t you roll your eyes at your hub. It’s impolite.

D: I was not great with Sam, you know, when he was, uh...

STOP right there. Don’t give me flashbacks

D: Well, how am I supposed to figure that out?

Cass, your Misha is slipping out, put that voice back into the cave it came out of

C : Just talk to him. Get him to open up.

Audience : * SNORTS * yeah riiiight

C: Sleep until the cows come home.

D: There it is.

C: That's the saying.

*CLAPS* DOMESTICS

Nat: I'm hungryyyyyyyy

Zee: We’ve established that Nat

Nat: I mean.... APART FROM THIRSTYYYYYYYYYYY

Giulia: I’m eating nuts

Zee: I bet you are

Nat: Nut juice. Food against hunger and thirst. New Bumper sticker

Awe Cas is driving BB. [but where is the pimp mobile]

S: I'm good, honestly

C: YEAH I KNOW EVERYBODY IS GOOD

UUUUUH Cas baby, get me all tingly with your sarcasm

Also write that under the series main title as a warning really.

SUPERNATURAL : EVERYBODY IS GOOD

Listen Sam, baby, I can hear your voice breaking, stop with the bullshit.

C is like....you can fill so much bullshit in that moose body

S: we don't have as many Hunters as we used to.

OUCH

Zee: Cas learnt how to use his badge

Giulia: Lame

Nat: "We're FBI..."

Look how cute my baby is...look at him *sobs*

C: Was it more "Scanners" 1, 2, or 3?

OH WOW, IS CAS BEING DEAN RIGHT NOW? (because I’m all for it.)

Giulia: I bet dean made him watch that.

Nat: Charming Acres

Nat: I don't wanna live there

Giulia: I DOOOOO

Zee: It’s creepy ffs

Nat: It's all shades of fucked up. I mean, look!

LOVE IT

C: It's like we're stepping into a Saturday Evening Post. I look at them sometimes after you fall asleep at night. They're very soothing.

I had to google that , not gonna lie. Also....HOW FUCKING CUTE IS THAT?!

Giulia: DEM HAAAAAIR THO.

Giulia: FOXY WIFE

Zee: Foxy wife

S: What was that?

Giulia: i love that time, minus the racism and patriarchy and the war.

Nat: What is wrong with these people

Giulia: Living my dream ok

Zee: Oh shut up babe

Nat: I don't like perfect

Giulia: Cas and his bed hair

Giulia: DEM MILKSHAKES. I BET THERE IS SOMETHING IN THERE

Zee: Something fishy, lass

Sammy likes them milkshakes tho

Is it just my impression or Cas is running out of fucks this season?? I love it.

FLATFOOTS

Zee&Nat: We take care of each other.

mmm, don’t like that

Zee: Don’t like the way that sounded

Giulia: suspicious

Mayor: They said something about an aneurysm or something?

Zee: His head exploded

Nat: His head exploded

Giulia: OH NO HIS HEAD EXPLODED

Zee: Gotta love Cas

Giulia&Nat: Like a ripe melon on the sun

Giulia: GOTTA LOVE HIM

Sam panicking.

S: "Like a ripe melon on the sun"?

C: It was an apt metaphor.

As I said : Angel out of fucks

S: Okay, well, maybe next time try to be a little less...apt.

C: The entire town is so strangely picturesque.

Giulia: I KNOOOOOW! , Can I go there?

Zee: NOOOOOOO

Nat: We wouldn't let you

Giulia: Dat dress.

Nat: Bonding time

Jack just gave the snake the cookie crunch , sobs so pure....for now

J: I think he’s sad

Nat: Have you tried bacon

Bacon....the solution to everything. I mean....not wrong, it’s delicious.

Giulia: so dorky

Sniffs Chinese food

D: Well, anyway, you and the, uh, snake...want to go for a little dri-ive?

gets mice .

Nat: mice scare him?

ok but Dean is that squeamish sometimes . It’s hilarious.

...because the mice scared me and I need confort. Also I’ll probably avoid Chinese food for a month so there’s that.

Nat: Ahhh... Jack really talks to that thing

Woman: Not people. Men. I only rent to young men. It's not proper -- young women living alone?

Nat: MORALS. GOTTA HAVE MORALS

*looks at Castiel*

Woman: You know.

...C i like....what

me: sHe fLirtS

Nat: Ya still wanna go there, @Giulia

Zee: She’ll say yes

Giulia: YEAH. Y’all can’t stop me

Zee: See? I’ll tie you down bitch just watch

Nat: Ya CAnT LiVE oN YOuR oWn

Giulia: I’ll work at the diner

Time for some SNOOPING

Giulia: So much hand porn for me

C: - they're...surprisingly passionate.

Sam with a tiny ass cup ready for some gossiping: Passionate how?

Castiel without a speck of blush: She spends, uh, quite a bit of time talking about the -- the shape and the heft of his --

Zee: Such a tiny cup

Please tell me there a DICK PICK in there lol

S: It's getting late, Cass. And you're right. I-I probably need some rest.

oh noe

C: You want to stay here?

S: Why not? Ms. Dowling's making pot roast.

OH NOE

Nat: I can smell head explosion

Zee: I can smell the bleach they’ll use

Nat: And there you go

Giulia: NICE I can live in that fantasy idc

Nat: You won't have us

Giulia: I wouldn’t know

Zee: Impossible. We’re seeped in your bones

Giulia: You can’t miss what you don’t remember

Nat: Yo head's going to explode when you remember, Giuls

D: Why don't you grub up? We still got another couple hours.

J: I'm not really hungry.

I DON’T LIKE IT

D: Give him one of these. I bet he's never had that before.

DEAN NO

J: I don't think you have a firm grasp on what snakes eat.

Zee: Uncomfortable dean

D: Yeah, I always thought they were kind of cool, though.

Nat: Aww...adorable Dean

Giulia: I thrive out of these moments

Zee: Road trip with dad

D: Mm. Well, it's not the snake that's dangerous. It's their...bite.

J: Is -- Is that a saying?

D: It is now.

Nat: hahah... is Dean looking with one he's going to pick?

Nat: Dad move

Giulia: Was that really a way to test jack? With CAKES

Nat: Dean move

Sam’s room is empty

Giulia: Weird Sam time

Zee: Not good

Nat: I told ya

Giulia: Das me jamming

Giulia: He so awkward

Giulia: HALLO!

Giulia: No i don t eat.I'm looking for my partner.

Mrs B: Oh. The very nice, the very tall fella?

Castiel angel of the lord? more like Castiel angel of I’VE RUN OUT OF FUCKS

Mrs.B: Hm. He said he's going for a walk. [pause ] And a milkshake.

Giulia: Still me jamming, ‘He’s got tan shoes with pink shoelaces’

Nat: yeah i mean, what's with her. all of a sudden a new husband?

Nat: My partner

Giulia: I’m looking my partner

Nat: The tall man - yes the very tall man

Zee: The very tall. Man

Giulia: I WOULD HAVE DIED. CAN HE GRAB MY HANDS TOO

Nat: Mr smith is gone long live Mr smith

Giulia: I would like a martini yes

Zee: I was waiting for this

C: Hair? ---He has beautiful hair?

Giulia: HE HAS

Nat: he has beautiful hair

Giulia: BEAUTIFUL HAIR

Giulia: THIS IS COMPLICATED . Cas is like...... WHAT IS THIS I WAS NOT PROGRAMMED FOR THIS. PEOPLE . PEOPLE SKILL. NOT FUNCTIONING .

Giulia: OH LOOK THAT’S MY MOM

Nat: what

Nat: the

Nat: fuck

Giulia: i’m loving this cas

C: I'm so sorry, but last night, his head, um --

Giulia: he had to pause

Giulia: That laugh was creepy

Nat: How about that martini?

Mrs. Smith : No...my husband he’s good.

[ SNORTS ]

Nat: OH god... no I need a drink

Nat: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Giulia: ...

Nat: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Giulia: EW

Nat: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Nat: That pony tail

Zee: I don’t like this

Giulia: THAT’S SWELL

Nat: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JUSTIN NO GOOD

what’s up wITH THE FUCKING POT ROAST ?

Nat: Honey, make me one too! Dammit

Giulia: SAME I NEED 5

Zee: A round of martinis please

C: This is not your house.

Justin!Sam :

Justin!Sam : You're right. This is my wife's house. I am simply living here.

Giulia: OH YOU

C: Something terrible's happened.

you right, those hair happened

Justin!Sam: I'm feeling adventurous.

Nat: Rawr ?

Giulia: NO

Giulia: I CAN T

Zee: I can’t process

Justin!Sam : So that's a no-no on the hooch?

I think Jared had too much fun in this. I WANT ALL THE BLOOPERS PLEASE PLEASEEEEE

Giulia: I’m laughing so much

Nat: You watch your mouth

Giulia: SIR U WATCH UR MOUTH

Zee: Skedaddle

Nat: I don't wear a hat , dammit I.... uh

Zee: Bitch

Giulia: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

Justin!Sam : Sir, using language like, uh, "H-E-double hockey sticks" --

Nat: Wash your mouth out with soap?

Giulia: GUYS, I haven’t had this much fun on spn in a long time.

I can’t breathe

Zee: I’m dying here

Nat: Double hockey sticks?

oh....OH.....I GOT IT NOW....GOLLY...WHAT THE HECKIE

Nat: STILL WANNA LIVE THERE?

Giulia: YEAH SHUT UP

Nat: ZETa

Zee: What?

Nat: Giuls is willing to leave us and go live there

Giulia: I LIKE THE AESTHETICS

Zee: As I said. Not possible. The amount of the insanity that she has shared with us won’t let her

Donatello : Ah, I am just the picture of health. Except for my prostate. It's shaped like a papaya.

...THANK YOU BB

also...do you guys think the Winchester get their prostate checked? or do they call.....Doctor Novak? (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

Nat: Dena really doesn't like snakes. Dean. Not Dena. Well, maybe Dena too. I wouldn't know

Giulia: We don’t judge

Zee: Never

Giulia: I LOVE HIM

Giulia: God sister snacked on it

Giulia: That’s a big ass cup

Nat: That's a big cup

Zee: Black hole

Giulia: ...

Giulia: This succession of texts is cursed

Nat: Not going there, Giuls

Zee: Again. I concur

Giulia: I ain’t said shit ya pervs

Zee: YET

Nat: You were thinking it. That's enough

Zee: ABOUT TO SAY IT

Giulia: You two were thinking it too , get off that high horse

Zee: offended gasp

J: And when it was gone, how did you -- how'd you feel?

Donatello: Like...the galaxy. You know, Jack, our galaxy's all bright and shiny and spinny, but in its center lies this very large black hole.

Donatello: I'm all bright and shiny, obviously. Not so much spinny But inside? Empty.

Donatello : Losing your soul doesn't make you bad It doesn't make you anything. It's, um... an absence of...of pity, of empathy...of humanity.

J: I know I don't feel...nothing, but I don't feel the same, either. And maybe I just don't know what nothing feels like. Mostly, I just don't want Sam and Dean and Cass to worry. I just -- I need time and space to figure things out on my own, but everywhere I go, there's someone looking over my shoulder.

Giulia: I get that boo

Nat: MAKE ME CRY JACK

J: Sam and Dean are the best men I know.

Nat: FUCK YOU. I'M CRYING

Donatello : whenever you don't want them to worry just think "WWWD" -- "What Would the Winchesters Do?"

Giulia: Pew pew pew pew pew pew. That’s what they’ll do. Sex stares. Bitchfaces. Bacon. Rocking off. Kill monsters. BOOKS.

Zee: Kicking asses, taking names

Giulia: Kick names , take ass

Nat: there goes giuls

Zee: Oh babe!!! Right there

Nat: I should not engage in this convo because it's going to be dirty

Zee: He’s not like you?!

Donatello : I suppose the first question we must ask ourselves is, what is a soul?

D: Donny.

Donny: What?

Nat: He seems ok

Nat: SEEMS

Donny: Jack's probably the most powerful being in the universe. [Creepy music starts to play....I sweat] I mean, really, who knows what's going on inside his head?

Giulia: I like donatello

D [ with the anxiety of a thousands suns ] : ...thanks

Zee: Erotic musings

Giulia: Cas saying “steamy” and “erotic” is making me tingling

Zee: Rip it from your ...

YOU KNOW WHAT HE CAN RIP OFF ME THO?

Nat: BAMF CAS

Giulia: And this too

Nat: Of course it's him

Zee: What are you ?

Nat: Sam's so tall

Zee&Giuls: The squint

Zee: Giuls shut up

Mayor: and no matter what I did, people would turn to drink or drugs, they'd move away.

Giulia: Oh boo hoo .Let me do drug in peace.

Mayor: ...And you know what happened next?

C: No, but I have a feeling you're gonna tell me.

[I’m all out of fucks anyway ]

Giulia: THE SNARK

C: I won't hurt you, Sam.

Justin!Sam: Golly, I told you my name is Justin!

Giulia: GOLLY

Nat: Justin!Sam is this a thing now?

Giulia: i hope

Zee: Giuls. That’s all for you. Cas kicking ass

Giulia: I know I’m sweating. Look at this shit

H O T

Giulia: NO IDC ABOUT THEM LEMME SEE CAS

C: Fight this!

J S: Why? I'm happy in Charming Acres.

Giulia: THAT’s US

Nat: That's us against Giuls

C: Sam, I know you want to be happy. And I know what it's like to lose your army. I know what it's like...to fail as a leader, Sam. But you can't lose yourself.

You have to keep fighting.

You can't lose yourself, because if you do, you fail us. You fail all of those that we've lost. You fail Jack. Sam, you fail Dean.

Nat: make me cry

Giulia: omg I’m crying

Giulia: I’m cryiiing and I’m tired of seeing Cas and that fucking blade like that ok.STOP IT. [ going into MOC Dean ptsd ]

Zee: Lool

Nat: OH no no brain explosion please

Zee: I’m god

Giulia: We met god. God has a beard

Zee: God has a beard

Giulia: God is ma dad

Nat: NO

Giulia: YAS QUEEN

Zee: I like her now

Giulia: make his head go splat

Zee: Vegetable

Giulia: Psh lame

Nat: hey, not bad huh?

Giulia: Laaaaame

Zee: You needed the splat!

Nat: you know lame when you get there giuls

Zee: Nat. We’ve established we won’t let her

Giulia: BuT ThE dREsSeS

Giulia: God dean

Nat: Dean stop being adorable

j: It was...illuminating

D ... the fuck, stop talking like your angel father.

D: Heard you wore a cardigan.

C: Yeah, I told him about the cardigan.

S: Great. Thanks.

D: And the wife.

Giulia: What about the ponytail

Giulia: Wait, Cas and dean talked about it on the phone [dies]

D: Well, not a lot of happy goin' on around here.

Nat: Wow, Dean feel a stab in his heart

S: I hate this place right now. I hate it.

S: Everywhere I look, I see them. I see Maggie. I guess that's why, uh -- why I was so desperate to get out of here, why I kept running us ragged. But I got to stop that. I-I can't keep running. I -- This is my home.

This is our home.

Dean, I think I just need some time.

Giulia: Yeah same

Nat: Sammy babe

Zee: How couldn’t they have

Giulia: Awe this is the hurt Sammy season. Again

D: Okay.

Giulia: STAPH

Giulia: WITH

Giulia: THAT

Giulia: LOOK

Giulia: JARED

Zee: Sam needs a million years in therapy

Nat: You need help

Giulia: NO

Zee: Oh no

Giulia: I DON T LIKE IT

J: Sam and Dean would help you, so -- so I'll help you.

Nat:. Nah, Dean wouldn't

J: I'll help you see your friend again.

Giulia: FUCKING

Nat: No

Giulia: NO

J: In Heaven.

Nat: What

Giulia: JAAACK

Nat: Jack

Giulia: THank god cas saw it

Nat: Wtf

Zee: Yeah. That wasn’t good

Giulia: Oh shuttttt uuuup

Giulia: PROMO

Zee: Dean in a suit. Alien vs predator

Nat: Creepy, me likey

Giulia: Eh

Nat: OK babes, i gotta go. Nat: See ya! it was a pleasure.

Zee: Always

Giulia: Go have some milkshake

If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie @mariekoukie6661 @dragontamerm @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2 @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc @dammitsammy @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride @destielhoneybee @castiellover20 @jacks-word-of-the-day @ravenhg @evvvissticante

#14x15 commentary #spn 14x15 #14x15 spoiler #peace of mind #14x15 peace of mind #Episode commentary #spn episode commentary #spn commentary #commentary

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carlottastudios · 6 years ago

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Do you guys remember a long long long ass time ago when I made posts about an original series idea of mine called Dawnlyte? Well, Dawnlyte is not the only original series I'm planning. This one, oh boy, this one is one I'm been INTENSELY planning and putting thought and work into for the past few months. Like Dawnlyte, this is an idea that's been in my mind for years now (not as many as Dawnlyte, but still quite a few), and now I finally feel ready to post something about it. Peoples, I present you my first ever post about Fabler! Unlike Dawnlyte, which is high fantasy like Lord of the Rings or The Dragon Prince, Fabler is an urban fantasy series like Harry Potter, Dresden Files and Spiderwick Chronicles. This series in particular is very much inspired by Harry Potter, but with way less of a focus on school and way more focus on how fun magic can be. Also, whereas Harry Potter has plenty of witches and wizards, Fabler follows a logic much more akin to The Wizard of Oz, because there are plenty of witches and, so far, only 1 wizard. Also, there's quite a bit of mythology showing up in Fabler as well, particularly a certain character whom I've been wanting to write in a sympathetic light for ages now and now I finally can! That's all I'll say for now here, but if you guys have any and all questions about the series, feel free to ask them and I'll try to answer without giving away too many spoilers. Also, I'll try to post more Fabler content in the future that can answer some of those questions (or create more questions). But now getting to these particular posts. Very recently, I've finally been able to establish the very basic plot for the main story of Fabler and, thus, I was able to determine all of the characters who'll come into play. At least, all of the characters who have enough of a role to merit a name. And when I finally got my list of named characters, I decided to do something Ive been longing to do since I discovered @thenamelessdoll's crossover To Belong series: make my own Non/Disney Crossover cast for my own story. And so that's what I did here! I got my whole list of named Fabler characters and, after much searching and deliberating, decided on which 2D animated Disney or very-similar-to-Disney character would "play" as them if I were ever to make a Non/Disney Crossover series of videos for Fabler (which I will tell you now I will probably never do as I don't have the right programs for making Non/Disney Crossover edits, not to mention my talents lie more in writing and drawing, not video editing). And now, I think I might as well explain some of the reasons for my casting choices! Why? Because I can and because I am SOOO excited to finally be talking about Fabler!

Kayley as Tarina: This was the first ever casting choice and it was one I've had right from the beginning, pretty much since I came up with Tarina. Tarina is the main character and I kinda based her on Kayley in a few ways. And not just her appearance, I swear. Because yes, Tarina is supposed to look like Kayley in terms of character design. Also, Kayley was one of my favourite characters ever growing up and I believe she deserves more attention. So I'm putting her in the spotlight here by having her play the role of my main girl Tarina! Kida as Kat: Kat was more challenging to cast. I was thinking of having her played by Audrey, since both are pretty tough girls. But Kat's not super rough the way Audrey comes off as being. So I wanted someone a bit more gentle and easily approachable. Oddly, the badass warrior princess who can wield spears and knives kinda fits that more. Also, Kat isn't actually a total tomboy and I felt casting Audrey as her would give off that impression. Also, both Kida and Kat have names that start with K and both of them are lovely ladies with long white hair. So that lines up! Belle as Celeste: Celeste is kind of the opposite of Kat in that you might think at first that she's a total girly girl, but she's not, and the wrong cast choice would've given off that impression. Yes, Celeste is very feminine and beautiful and refined and classy, like Belle. She's also very mature like Belle. Also, she tends to be one of the more responsible people in a group of friends, similar to Hermoine (whose actress also played as Belle in the Live Action Disney version there's another connection). Basically, Belle was my dream choice as the casting choice for Celeste! Mulan as Neva: Mulan was actually my very first choice for Neva, because their stories are actually really similar. Unlike the three previous girls, Neva is not a witch, so when she arrives into the story, she's a complete noob and she's going to need some help before she becomes a badass. Mulan's been there and done that! Also, I just love Mulan as a character and really wanted to include her in my lineup. She also resembles Neva in part because Neva is one of the few girls to have sleek short hair. Also, Mulan's fun personality matches well with my happy darling Neva. Eilonwy as Peah: Peah is one of the younger characters in the story, just as Eilonwy is one of the younger female Disney heroes. Aside from that, both of them have this sort of determined and kind of commanding air to them that only brave little girls can exhibit in their particular style. Both are young, but they're not to be messed with. Also, they're both not really the sort to stand aside while the action is going on. Peah is young, yes, but she's more capable than others expect, and I feel that Eilonwy has the right vibe for that. Jasmine as Ashley: Now this is the tomboy of the group! And I'm having Jasmine play as her instead of someone like Audrey. Why? Well, Jasmine's just way more fiery in my eyes. And "fiery" is what Ashley is. In more ways than one. Also, Jasmine used to be my favourite Disney princess and I still really love her, so I wanted to give her a nice role in my cast. Strangely though, Jasmine and Ashley have very different backstories. Jasmine is a princess while as Ashley is one of the furthest people from princess status as you can get. It's ironic, but oddly, I find it weirdly works. Crysta as Thistlemoth: Now, I haven't actually seen the movie where Crysta is from, but I've seen her in Non/Disney Crossover videos quite a few times. And her design of being a fairy or pixie or whatever is so perfectly similar to Thistlemoth (who is indeed a pixie) that denying this casting choice would've been sheer madness. Of course, by that logic, I probably could've gone with Tinkerbell too, but Tinkerbell's personality is VERY different from sweet, crazy Thistlemoth. Plus, Crysta's more "wild" looks are more in line with what Thistlemoth looks like. Sarah as Bianca: Like with Crysta as Thistlemoth, I haven't seen the movie where Sarah is from. I've only seen Sarah in Non/Disney Crossover videos. In all honesty, I don't have super-good reason for this choice of casting aside from looks. Sarah does look similar to what I want Bianca to look like. Only with a snake tail instead of legs. Yup. That's right. Bianca is a naga. I have nagas in my story. Also, another reason I admit I chose Sarah is because, from the Non/Disney videos I've seen her in, some of her mannerisms are kind of in line with Bianca too. Meg as Lilith: Yes, you read that name right. I have Lilith, the actual first woman and Adam's first wife, in my story. No, she is not the character I've been wanting to write for ages. Anyway, about the casting, Meg's mannerisms and personality are really in line with my version of Lilith. Lilith even has a pretty sad backstory that's sort of similar to Meg's. I won't explain it here because that is spoiler territory. Their looks are rather different though. Lilith's more similar to Jasmine, who was actually cast as Lilith before I realized Meg was a much better fit. Cinderella as Ericaine: You've probably noticed that this is a bit of a last-minute change. At first, Ariel was in the role of Ericaine, much to my reluctance. But, honestly, her personality and looks and mannerisms are really different from Ericaine. So why had I initially considered her? Because I had previously cast Cinderella as someone else. But now, I'm using Cinderella because her looks match up very well with Ericaine, as do her actions, and I like putting her in the spotlight more than Ariel! Ericaine isn't nearly as sweet as Cindy, though. She's more...temperamental. Ariel as Eir: You've probably guessed that I'm not the biggest Ariel fan. I'm not. And I confess I fought tooth and nail to not have to include her in my cast. But, in the end, ya gotta do what you gotta do. At least now, as Eir, she's in a much more suitable role. Eir is funloving and adventurous, much like Ariel, so that lines up great for me to use Ariel as her. There's also a bit of a connection when it comes to a male character that I might explain later, or maybe not. Feel free to ask me about it though. Melody as Raven: I was originally going to have Shanti as Raven, but, seriously, Melody and her story and personality just line up SO MUCH BETTER! If I explain it here, it's going to be spoilers-a-plenty, but I'll just say that when you think about it, it's seriously perfect. Raven is different looks-wise (I'm actually thinking that she's blond instead of...well, raven-haired), but Melody's just got the right attitude and actions for her. As you might've guessed, Raven is another pretty young character. I think she's actually even younger than Peah, but I'll have to check my notes again. Jim as Lucifer: YES! This is the character I've been wanting to write for so long!!! Because the devil has been treated as little more than a scapegoat for millennia and I want to write a story where he's actually a nice, sympathetic guy. Yes, I know the show Lucifer is already doing that, but I want to do it my own way. And Jim was always my first casting choice. Because 1) I'm a huge JimxKayley shipper, 2) Jim was one of my heroes growing up, and 3) the angst-ball teenager who grows into a capable young man is exactly what I need for my version of the devil! Aladdin as Rory: This was one of the easiest cast choices ever. Not because Rory is a street urchin who ends up finding a genie, but because Rory is a sweet fluffy supposed-orphan boy who is a beam of sunshine, yet still has his serious and deep sides. Fits with Aladdin's emotional state in his movies, don't you think? Also, Aladdin looks similar to how I envision Rory. He's admittedly older than what Rory's supposed to be (Rory's supposed to be slightly younger than Tarina), but aside from that, it's a pretty great match! Like I said, Aladdin was my first choice. Milo as Chayce: Chayce is sooooo much grumpier and sassier than Milo, but he is just as awkward and smart. Yes, he's the nerd of the group and I adore him. I mean, I love all my characters, including my grumpy white-lion boy. Yes, I said white lion boy. Chayce is a sphinx, which is a species I'm particularly proud of. As a result, he is way way fluffier than Milo, physically. Milo's way fluffier personality-wise. Milo is the adorkable kind of nerd, while as Chayce is the more smartass kind of nerd. But it's still the best fit I could find for my cast. Taran as Andrew: I feel that Taran doesn't get enough attention, so I'm going to give it to him! Andrew is a character who keeps popping up in Fabler and the more he does, the more I've grown to love him. He actually used to be quite different than what he is now, and I honestly have no clue who I would've used as his non/Disney counterpart had I not changed his character. Now though, Taran's a surprisingly nice fit for my misguided baby Andrew. They both desperately want renown and both suffer from their efforts. Also, they're both young lads with floofy hair! Shang as Mato: Nothing I say will convince you that Shang playing Mato who (spoiler alert) will get with Neva who is being played by Mulan was a happy accident, will it? Because I swear it was! Shang just fits Mato's role nicely! Granted, Mato is not a captain of his group, but he is an experienced member of a fighting organization in Fabler, the warlocks if you must know (feel free to ask me about them), and he does help train Neva as well as protect people like the witches and especially Apus (woops, another spoiler). As for looks...um...I'll have to get back to you on that. Garrett as Liam: This was a surprisingly tough cast choice to make. Despite the number of "prince charming" figures in Disney to choose from, none of them are actually fitting in my opinion for the "prince charming" like character. Because Liam IS based on prince charming! From Cinderella specifically! And yet Cindy's prince Charming was NOT A GOOD FIT! It makes me laugh, it hurts so much! So, why did I go for Garrett? 1) he and his movie don't get enough attention, 2) his looks are a decent fit and 3) his serious nature and the fact that he's a legit warrior fits Liam well. Miguel as Edmund: This was another super-easy cast choice to make. Miguel's features loosely match some of Edmund's, particularly the blond hair. However, it's mostly Miguel's demeanor and mannerisms and energy that fit Edmund to a T. Edmund is just so playful and flamboyant and also a little goofy. All of which describe Miguel, I find. Miguel is also pretty flirty at times throughout his movie. So he's actually more restrained than Edmund, whom I affectionately call the slut or the thot of my cast. Because he totally is! And I love him for it! Prince Phillip as Darius Ray: I did NOT want to cast one of my favourite ever princes as this asshole. Because make no mistake, Darius Ray is an asshole, one who borders on sociopathy. Pretty much the opposite of Phillip, who is a genuinely awesome guy! So why did I make this cast choice?! Well, it was better than the first one I did, as you! Darius used to be played by Peter Pan, but I just COULD NOT follow through with that! Peter is just so precious and he's way too young to play Darius. Phillip has the age going for him, plus some of Phillip's playfulness and body type. Kenai as Apus: This is another looks-based casting choice. I haven't seen Brother Bear in a really long time, but I remember that Kenai's more rash personality is way different than calm and gentle Apus. But Kenai is a very fluffy-looking boy (and I'm not just talking about when he's a bear) and that fluffy is one of Apus's main physical traits. Fitting, since Apus is a yeti. Yes, yetis are a sentient species and they are more humanoid-looking than how they're traditionally depicted. Also, Kenai is mostly not human in his movie, which fits because Apus is a more minor character. Tulio as Mephistopheles: These two have looks that differ quite a bit, but I still wanted Tulio, from the get-go, to be Mephistopheles' Non/Disney counterpart. Because I've seen Tulio depicted as a villain in a few Non/Disney projects at this point and I want to counter that. Because I love Tulio! He's so funny! And Mephistopheles is a funny guy. Admittedly, he's still more cool-headed than Tulio, but he's a huge dork and I love him. Also, a few of Tulio's incredibly funny mannerisms fit well with Meph, particular in his interactions with Lucifer, who is, of course, his boss. Cale as Gabriel: Now isn't this an ironic choice? Cale is a cynical and rebellious character while as the angel Gabriel, in my story, is a stickler to the rules. But he is very jaded when it comes to his "little brother" Lucifer. And Cale, to me, kinda looks like he could be Jim's older brother with whom he doesn't get along. Kinda. But also, Cale has had moments in his movie where he's being more agressive and angry, and that certainly fits how Gabriel acts around Lucifer for most of the story. Also I just like Titan AE, okay? Hercules as Conor: Is it ironic that I'm having Hercules play a character who is a centaur? Because Conor is a centaur and Hercules fought a centaur in his movie? No? Not ironic? Okay. Still, I just thought it was interesting to point out. Another thing to point out is that Hercules has the perfect jock vibe to fit with Conor, who is such a golden boy it's impossible not to roll your eyes at him at least once. But he's not all ego. Conor's actually a nice guy and a good friend, much like how Hercules is a very good boy. Helga as Thelen: Have you ever been in a situation where the perfect cast choice just gift-wraps itself for you? Because that was the case with this choice! I'm just surprised that I didn't think of Helga immediately when I came up with Thelen's character! Their looks match up very well. The only remarkable difference is that Thelen is younger than Helga, or at least she seems younger. But aside from that, their features match great, their intimidating and domineering personalities are a great fit and especially the fact that both are very competent fighters! Odette as Diantha: Odette was my first cast choice for Diantha, but I almost didn't go with her for fear that I might need to use Odette for another role. But luckily, I didn't have to compromise that perfect cast choice! Okay, granted, there's still some differences between these two ladies. Odette, in her movie, has some moments where she's angry, but Diantha is much more so. She's rather strict in a motherly way, but she's also very regal and queen-like, at least it's how I always imagine her. And Odette often has that kind of regal dignity, I find. Sarah as Hiverein: This was honestly a casting choice I hadn't expected to make. Hiverein, in terms of looks, is rather different from Sarah Hawkins. While as Sarah is a normal human woman and looks it, Hiverein is the queen of the fairies, and in looks, she lives up to that. But there is nonetheless a connection in their characters. Both of these ladies are loving mothers, Sarah to Jim and Hiverein to her son Royse. Hiverein is also a queen who isn't afraid to be hands-on when it comes to taking care of her people, which reminds me of Sarah running her inn. Tiana as Greylyn: Personality-wise, Greylyn and Tiana have similarities. Both are extremely hard-working and dedicated to their goals, though these goals are very different. Tiana has personal ambitions of wanting a restaurant while as Greylyn is trying to lead and nurture her coven as well as she possibly can. Yet both women are good at putting a smile on their faces for the people watching them work. They also both deal in food a lot. Their looks are fairly similar as well, though how similar, I'm not sure yet, because I haven't finalized Greylyn's design yet. Asenath as Lillah: Even though she doesn't play a huge role in her movie, Asenath was actually one of my favourite characters as a child, so I was eager to find a place for her in my cast. And I think Lillah is a great fit. Lillah is a very calm character who tends to have a soothing presence whenever she arrives in a scene (kind of funny, given she's a ghost). Asenath, to me, was always very calming, which is partly why I liked her as a kid. Asenath was also a voice of reason in her movie and Lillah definitely acts as that in Fabler. Empress Marie as Norn: Goodness gracious has Norn's cast choice changed! I used to have her played by Tzipporah, but that would be pretty innacurate because of Norn's age. Norn is in her early 60s during the story of Fabler, while as Tzipporah is way younger, despite the fact that she looks similar to Norn. I went with empress Marie instead in hopes of that she would reflect the age a bit better, although I think Marie is older than early 60s. But there are some things Marie has going for her that still liken her to Norn: her grandmotherly kindness and regal presence. Madame Adelaide as Leira: Very similarly to Norn, Leira is in her late 50s-early 60s during Fabler, but my first cast choice for her really didn't reflect that. Her original cast choice was Cinderella, which is why it took me a while to finally cast Cinderella as Ericaine. But now I think that madame Adelaide is a better fit. Not just because of her age though. Madame is extremely caring and doting towards her cats, and Leira is similar towards another character in Fabler. Also, madame is very wealthy and Leira kind of has an equivalent to that in that she's very magically gifted. Esmeralda as Arwa: Esmeralda was my first choice for Arwa, much like Odette was for Diantha and Aladdin was for Rory. Arwa is supposed to look similar to Esmeralda, especially with her brightly-coloured eyes (though Arwa's are yellow instead of green, but you gotta admit that Esmeralda's eyes are a strikingly bright green). Arwa is also incredibly fierce like Esmeralda, and just like Esmeralda seems to be a kind of leader of the gypsies, Arwa is a leader of her pack of werewolves. Both are defiant and utterly badass ladies and, in short, this was a perfect cast match. Anya as the Fabler: Oh goodie, goodie, goodie, the titular fabler cometh at last! But I'm not going to tell you a lot about her! She's an incredibly mysterious and unknown character, which is strangely fitting because Anya's movie is inspired by the mystery of the princess Anastasia. But even putting that aside, Anya is a great cast choice for the Fabler. Their looks line up very well (if not their outfits), their mannerisms and expressions too, and the way the Fabler presents herself to the characters is very fun and sparky in a way very similar to Anya. Juliana as Hera: I know you're thinking. You're thinking "ANOTHER Quest for Camelot character, Carlotta, really?!" YES! Really! I love this movie, okay?! And Juliana does fit reasonably well with how I'm interpreting Hera in Fabler. Juliana is the wife of a knight, and so she seems like a bit of a noblewoman and she carries herself well in that regard. Heck, this woman showed no fear from the movie's villain, Rubert, until he started threatening her daughter. Hera is similar in that she is a total boss! But she's not as helpful to the protagonists as Juliana was in her story. Marina as Jeyne: You wanna know something really ironic? Even though I am including Kayley's canonical mom in the cast, Marina is the one playing Tarina's character's mother. Yes, Jeyne is Tarina's mom and I have Marina in her role. I don't have much reason for this casting choice, except that it's one I've had pretty much from the start of the making of this cast. Also, the fact I'm using such an awesome character as Marina makes me sad that Jeyne doesn't have a bigger role in the main story of Fabler. Because while, yes, she does appear, she doesn't do a whole lot. Eris as Merlina: Eris is not going to be happy that I'm using her, a goddess, to play the role of a mere ghost, isn't she? Too bad! There was no way I wasn't going to include Eris, since she's one of my favourite parts of the movie she's from. She does have quite a few differences from Merlina though. Merlina was once human and her story is way more tragic than Eris's. She is a villain, but she's one of those villains who thinks she's in the right. Not the same as Eris, who knows she's evil and has fun with it. But both ladies are also very manipulative and destructive. John Smith as Royse: I love my character Royse but he was SO DANG DIFFICULT TO CAST! And even now, believe me, it's not a perfect fit. For the longest time, I thought that his Non/Disney counterpart would be Garrett, because of his long hair, serious nature, connection to nature, combative skills and the fact he has a staff for a weapon. Buuuutttt that'd be awkward for me, since Garrett is Kayley's canon love interest, he'd be playing as her father figure. So I went with John Smith because he seems older than Garrett. Even though his personality is very different. John Rolfe as Gawyn: Unlike Royse, Gawyn's cast choice was pretty easy peasy. John Rolfe has some of the looks I'm going for with it comes to Gawyn (even though Gawyn's hair is way curlier) and the same air of dignity. But Gawyn is much more...shall we say, quirky than Gawyn. And he's unashamed of it. So I guess you can say that there's still dignity in that and I agree. But yeah, John Rolfe is more serious than Gawyn and his looks aren't nearly as fantastical. But he was nonetheless the first to come to mind as a Non/Disney counterpart when I came up with Gawyn. Eric as Favian: Like Royse, Favian's cast choice has frequently changed. Partly because every time I changed Royse's cast choice, I wanted his hubby to have a cast choice that I could pair him up with. But now I'm happy I stuck with Eric. Personality, he's rather light-hearted, which is fitting with Favian's demeanor. There's still several changes, of course, like with his looks. Now, I haven't fully decided on Favian's look, but I know that while his dark hair matches Eric, he's certainly not as light-complected as the prince. Kale as Valerik: Derek was at first the one I was going to choose for Valerik. But then I remember Kale and I was like "Carlotta, you crazy! Kale is a WAY better fit!" First, there's looks. Like many of my characters (for now), I don't have a full design for Valerik yet, but it ressembles Kale's the more and more I think about it. Second, Kale seems like a good, calm leader, which Valerik is. Third, Kale seems like he'd be great with kids, and Valerik is a proud papa of a bunch of wee nippers. Not to say Derek doesn't have some of these qualities, but Kale just has more. Dimitri as Robin: Once again, a cast member that I was surprised I didn't think of sooner. I mean, Robin is something of a con man, but has some depths to him that take a while for the other characters to unlock. That's Dimitri in a nutshell, right?! Plus, Dimitri's often whacky expressions or mannerisms suit Robin well. As does Dimitri's slight tendency to be the glutton for punishment in the movie he's from. Moses as Tyrone: Tyrone doesn't look entirely like Moses, but I nonetheless feel that they have a few similarities in appearance. Tyrone is at least a bit paler, being a vampire (one of the few good ones in the Fabler universe, which is why I'm okay having a sweetheart like Moses play him), and the outfit will very much different, of course, but still, the looks are a good base for what I'm hoping for him to look like. Temperament-wise, though, I'll admit Moses isn't my best choice, as Tyrone isn't exactly all that sane when we first meet him in the story. He gets better though. Phoebus as Odin: I'll admit it. Phoebus is quite a bit younger than how Odin is supposed to be portrayed. But, in my defense, Odin is also an immortal god with divine power, so it's not out of the question that he could look rather good for his age. But also, both males are, of course, warriors. Yes, Odin may be more of a trickster and wiseman god, but he's not shy from a fight either. In Fabler, in fact, he does quite a bit of it. Also, Phoebus is capable of being serious, but also really friendly and joking, which is so perfect for how I want my boy Odin! Proteus as Hades: Yes, yes, yes, I know. I know that Disney already gave us Hades. And I do love Disney's Hades. However, I love more-early-source-accurate, good-boy, very-much-not-a-villain-you-fools Hades even more! So, why'd I choose Proteus for this version of Hades? His looks aren't tooooo far from the mark (certainly the long lovely ponytail isn't far), he's got a very good personality to go at least somewhat with Hades and many of his mannerisms fit well. All in all, 10/10 choice for me. Arthur as Baldur: LAST TIME I SWEAR! This is the last time I'm using a Quest for Camelot character, I promise! But yeah, here's the thing: I have NEVER! Not once! Ever seen Arthur used in a Non/Disney project! He wasn't used ONCE, to my knowledge! And, I mean, I can understand why. He really doesn't appear much in the movie. BUT! I'm not letting that stop me here! Arthur here actually does really fit with how I'm interpreting Baldur, AKA God (yes, as in Lucifer's dad), not just in looks, but in mannerisms as well. I'm happy I'm using this underused character! Sinbad as Syrus: You know something kind of ironic? Sinbad is normally portrayed, in Non/Disney, as Jim's father, or sometimes older brother (lookin at you TB). But I have seen him used as Kayley's father too and, honestly, I really like that as well. He's got the looks for it and the adventurous spirit. Which brings me to Syrus. His hair colour is admittedly a bit redder than Sinbad's (gotta explain where Tarina got her red hair from) and his eyes are different, but the rest fits neatly into how I envision Tarina's father. And again, I'm now sad he doesn't do more in the story. Dymus as Nightinion: Nightinion, much like Syrus, is another father who's one of the less important named characters. Specifically, he is Ericaine's father. But, nonetheless, I felt he was important enough to include in my cast. And why did I go with Dymas? Well, first off, he's a king. But there are, admittedly, quite a few Non/Disney kings. So why Dymas in particular? Well, something about him makes me feel like he has more strength and command than most Non/Disney kings, yet is still diplomatic and courteous. All of which are what I see in Nightinion. Dean as Natsbane: I love Dean. Really, I do. So I'm really sad for putting him in the role of this jerk. Because, while Natsbane isn't totally evil, he is not a nice guy. But something about Dean's general grumpy and unfriendly exterior and his love of his artwork remind me quite a bit of Natsbane. Though, if a full Non/Disney version of Fabler were to be made, Natsbane wouldn't be quite as...kinda-mad-scientist-wacko that he is in my envisioning. Then again, perhaps that's a good thing. It'd be interesting to see a mad scientist who's not mad as in insane, but mad as in angry. 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#Behold My Beautiful Little Brain Child (my original post)#Fabler

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