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harley-sunday · 5 years

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Things We Lost in the Fire [02]

Summary During a bank robbery you’re surprised when the criminals seem to recognize you and retreat in fear. Only after do you learn that your high school sweetheart now runs a nationwide crime syndicate and has you placed on a “no harm” list. You decide to pay him a visit after all these years.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader (F)

Warnings: Language. Mentions of a miscarriage.

Word count: 3399

AN: Time for part two :) Would love to hear what you think, so don’t be shy about leaving a comment! Enjoy ♥

Masterlist

The drive from his mother’s house to yours is short, with only a quick stop for dinner at the Italian place you’re pretty much a regular at. You like it there because they know not to bother you with any small-talk and they always let you eat in peace. It’s also where he took you on your first date, so...

The first thing you do when you get home is text Bert, giving him some lame excuse about how this is all much tougher than you thought and how you need more time to recover. You ask for two weeks off, because that seems reasonable, and of course he agrees. Tells you to look after yourself and makes you promise you’ll let him know how you are doing sometime next week. It feels bad lying to Bert, but it appears your morals left you at the same moment those robbers left the bank.

Next, upstairs in your bedroom, you grab a chair to pull out an old battered cardboard box from somewhere deep in your closet and set out looking for your senior yearbook. You find it easily enough, even though you’re not sure why you think you need it.

It sits in your lap now, the fingers of your left hand absentmindedly tracing the embossed letters on the cover. Your right hand is holding a glass of Scotch, because that seems to have become your go-to drink every since this started. You swirl the ice cubes around in your glass, letting out a sigh, finally opening the yearbook.

You find the page that has pictures of the senior prom quick enough and you feel a sad smile forming on your lips when you see the picture of Sebastian and you as the homecoming king and queen. God, you were so happy then. You remember being giddy all night but especially after you two were crowned, because never in a million years would you have thought you’d be elected king and queen. To this day you still wonder if Josh had anything to do with it. He must have. There was some shady shit going on during the election that you know the principal tried to get to the bottom of but couldn’t and so he had no choice but to validate the outcome.

Sebastian and Josh were thick as thieves and best friends for as long as you could remember, their families living next to each other long before both boys were born. They were troublemakers, but never in a bad way, not really anyway. They got really into graffiti at some point, but nothing more than that. Or at least, that’s what you thought.

It wasn’t until a few years later that you found out Josh was into some pretty shady shit during senior year.

Your fingers caress the picture gently and there’s a quiet, “Oh, Seb,” escaping you because what the hell ever happened to you two? It’s then you remember the envelope his mother gave you and you reach for your purse that’s sitting on the ground next to the couch. You take out the envelope and spot his handwriting on the back immediately, a hastily scribbled Lubirea Mea in the center.

My Love

There’s something wet dripping down your cheeks and it takes you a moment to realize you’re crying. Weird. Must be the Scotch. Or the trip down memory lane you’ve embarked on today. Or the fact that even now you still you remember the few Romanian words he’s taught you and how he’s still calling you this after all these years.

You became friends in sophomore year, when Mrs Ellis sat you next to each other in art class and you admired the drawings he had decorated his binder with. Then, in senior year, he asked you to be his girlfriend on New Year’s Eve. He had taken you on a few dates in the weeks before that, but nothing compared to the big party Josh hosted at his parents’ beach house that evening.

Just going there and being seen together made it official to the outside world.

Sebastian waited until it was almost midnight to confess he had a crush on you and kissed you passionately for the first time just as the clock struck twelve and fireworks erupted all around you. It was romantic as hell and would set the standard for your relationship the next three and a half years. Because if anything, he was a hopeless romantic. The envelope you’re holding now telling you he probably still is.

When you went away to Columbus State University after high school and he stayed in Savannah you still found ways to make it work. After your second year you found a cheap apartment close to campus so he could stay with you without a roommate to worry about. The first couple of months of that school year were everything you wanted it to be because he came to visit you almost every weekend and you could see a future together slowly starting to form. He told you he’d been saving money, even though he wouldn’t really tell you how, just that he was working together with Josh on a couple of projects. It didn’t matter to you. All you wanted was to follow him into this dream of buying a house on the coast somewhere and raising a family together.

You trusted him to do what was best for you two. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Because everything changed on your three-year anniversary.

Josh hosted another one of his infamous parties at the beach house, which was now his after his parents decided to spend their retirement in the Bahamas, and, like every year, he invited you even though you hadn’t seen Josh since you left for university and weren’t as close to him as you once were. You knew by then Josh had a reputation in Savannah, his parties often raided by the police because they suspected drugs were being dealt and used. They never caught anyone and sometimes it almost felt like Josh was taunting them.

You were hesitant to go to the party but Sebastian took you out to dinner first anyway, a fancy restaurant on the other side of town that was way too expensive as far as you were concerned but that he deemed fitting for your anniversary. Dinner was nice and not for the first time during your relationship you felt like everything was as it should be. And so when you finally gathered enough courage you told him the big news.

You were ten weeks pregnant.

You’ve never seen him that happy before and you’ve never seen him that happy again since, because when you eventually made it to the beach house you were met with an awful sight. The house was completely engulfed in flames, police and firemen swarming the area, ambulances taking away the injured to nearby hospitals. You heard him curse quietly as he drove up to the house and it was then you saw Josh being wheeled out on a stretcher, unconscious, his body badly burned. Without saying a word you followed the ambulance to the hospital, waiting there for what felt like days even though it couldn’t have been more than a couple of hours until the doctors informed you of his condition.

Josh suffered third degrees burns on his face, chest, stomach, arms and legs, and the doctors could already confirm he’d lost eyesight in at least one eye, the second one being dangerously close to following. He would have a long road ahead of him, they warned you, if he even would make it out alive. You stayed in the hospital until his parents arrived the next day, but even then Sebastian never left Josh’ side.

No matter how hard you tried, he wouldn’t meet you, wouldn’t leave the hospital in case Josh would wake up, and so you had to go to there to say goodbye to him when you went back to Columbus after the winter break was over. He seemed distracted, but you figured he was still in shock from everything that happened and sort of admired his loyalty to Josh.

You talked on the phone a couple of times after that, but you never saw him after that last goodbye. Not when you told him you were stressed out about your upcoming exams. Not when you told him you missed him. Not when you begged him to please come see you.

Not even when you told him you’d lost the baby somewhere in the early stages of the second trimester.

He was slipping away from you and there was nothing you could do.

Eventually the findings of the police made it clear that the fire was drug-related and even believed to be an attack on Josh’ life. By then you had learned that Josh had woken up from his coma and that crime still raged in Savannah, some sort of retaliation of what happened that night. There were a lot of gang-related incidents and people were getting beaten up and left for dead almost daily.

You called Sebastian some time in April of that year, fed up with everything, and ended things. You told him you were done. Well, you told his voicemail, because he never answered his phone anymore, and he sure as hell never called back.

You saw him only once after you broke up, in the local CVS of all places on one of your rare trips back to Savannah. You tried to avoid him, tried to make it outside without having to talk to him, but like always he found you easily enough. He tried to apologize for everything that happened, but all you could focus on was how terrible he looked, his face sunken in, his knuckles scraped and bruised, and you couldn’t help but wonder just how much he was involved in all of this. The crimes and the beatings and maybe even the drugs.

You dropped out of university shortly after, needing time to make sense of everything that happened in the last six months, promising the student counselor you’d keep in touch about finishing your last year. You never did. You moved to Atlanta to get away from everything, but mostly to get away from him and the memories of him. Atlanta was a nice distraction, at least the first couple of years.

It took you three years to not think about him every single day. Five years to pretty much forget about him and be sort of happy again. You made it to ten years before you started longing for Savannah again. Made it to twelve before you finally decided to move back.

And now here you are, back in Savannah and back to thinking about him again. You wonder why he still has such a hold over you, because you are sure every normal, sane, person would just turn him in. But not you.

No.

You are sitting here, ten minutes after midnight, on your third glass of Scotch, still turning that fucking envelope over and over in your hands, the melancholy of it all settled somewhere deep in your chest. You put the glass down on the coffee table and sit back, taking a deep breath and then you open the envelope, carefully taking out the piece of paper that’s inside.

You’re not sure what you expected, but not this.

Vă rog.

Please.

You don’t make the drive to Pawleys Island right away. Not in the least because well, you’re definitely over the limit, but also because after reading his plea you suddenly feel so, so tired. You barely make it to bed, stumbling over your shoes that are lying on the floor somewhere and taking your sweet time trying to conquer the stairs while the world is spinning all around you. You vow right then and there never to drink again. Not that much, anyway.

You sleep for at least twelve hours, waking up somewhere in the middle of Wednesday, the afternoon sun shining through your window way too brightly for your liking. By then it’s too late to make the drive, and so you decide to clean your house. It’s your go-to method of dealing with things when you’re upset and it’s quite useful to be honest. Once that’s done you find your trusted duffel bag and pack some clothes. You tell yourself it’s just in case, but somehow you know you won’t be back here for at least a couple of days.

Once that’s done you order a pizza and decide to call Detective Johansson to let him know you’re leaving for at least a week, just to get him off your back. He doesn’t seem very interested and you wonder if you should have even bothered.

You’re up early, nerves keeping you from falling back asleep and so you’re on the road before eight, hitting a little bit of traffic on your way out of town, but things immediately quiet down once you cross into South Carolina. The sun is out and from experience you know it should take you about three hours to get to Pawleys Island, a beautiful drive, the memories of those endless summers coming back as you make your way down the 17, getting closer to the coast after Charleston.

You stop for a coffee and something to eat in Georgetown because you doubt he’ll take you out to lunch once you get there. Panic hits then, because what if he isn’t even there? He doesn’t know you’re coming. It’s not like you made an appointment to go see him. Jesus, what if this was all for nothing? You try to calm yourself by reasoning that his mother must have let him know that you’ve come to see her and that he probably figured out you would come out some time this week.

Wanting to get it over with you ask for a to-go cup at the counter and pour your coffee over, leaving your half-eaten sandwich on the table as you rush back to your car. It’s only about twenty minutes from here, but traffic is slow and so you quietly curse everyone on the road with you.

A wave of nausea hits you when you pull up in front of the beach house. It’s been completely demolished after the fire and the house that stands there now doesn’t have any resemblance to the old house if not for blue window panes. Well, what once were blue window panes anyway. The exterior of the house is in decay, paint is chipping pretty much everywhere and the shrubs have grown so high they’re now covering the porch. It’s weird to think the last time you were here was over sixteen years ago.

You sit in your car for a while, gathering up the courage you need for this. You wonder if he knows you’re here, if he’s already seen you from somewhere behind a window. How free does he feel here? Is this just where he hides out after a robbery or does he live here? Do the neighbors know him? Is Josh with him? God, you don’t even know if Josh is still alive. You shake your head to get rid off all the questions that are now going through your mind in a never ending loop and take a deep breath. You grab your purse from the passenger’s seat, finding the key his mother gave you in the side pocket, and get out of your car.

Looking straight ahead you walk up to the house, a small path cleared in between the shrubs wide enough for you to pass through. You hesitate for a moment when you get to the door, but then you mutter a quiet, “Fuck it,” and open it using the key in your hand. It’s light inside, far from the dark drug den you were expecting, and it throws you off a bit. Closing the door behind you, you take it all in. It’s weird how normal it looks inside compared to faded exterior. It’s completely furnished and almost homely and it’s then you wonder if this is where he lives. You half expect a kid or a dog to come running at you from somewhere then because it’s been pretty bold of you to assume he’d still be single. God, there’s a lot you don’t know about him, you realize, and you wonder what version of him you’ll find here.

“Hello?” you call out, but there’s no reply. Curiosity drives you forward, passing the kitchen on your right, to the living room in front of you. Strangely enough the layout of the house is the same as before and so you find your way effortlessly. The far wall of the living room, on the other end of the house, is made up of floor-to-ceiling windows, with a sliding door on the left side.

The door is open and leads to a deck outside and it’s there you see him, sitting in one of the Adirondack chairs. He looks relaxed, a cup of coffee in his hand, today’s newspaper on the table next to him. You tap on the glass of the door, not wanting to startle him even though you know you really should care less about his general well-being. But you want answers and those are hard to come by if you scare him to death, you reason.

He looks up and over his shoulder, a smile creeping onto his lips when he sees it’s you.

“Fuck,” you mutter quietly, because honestly, he looks as good as ever and your knees, your fucking knees, actually go weak. Using the door frame for support you step outside and see him stand up.

“Dragă,” he says, his voice smooth as butter.

“Don’t call me that,” you bite back, because does he really think he can still call you ‘babe’ after all these years.

“I’m sorry,” he says, actually dropping his head and you feel yourself getting angry because what is he, an actor now? No way does he actually feel sorry. It’s all part of this act of his, you’re sure. His way to get redemption.

But is it?

Because when he looks up at you again there’s this sincerity in his eyes that you’ve seen before. You’ve seen it every time he told you he loved you. Dammit. You decide you need some distance and so you walk back until you bump into the railing, leaning against it you cross your arms defensively, letting him know you’re not here for his bullshit. You take him in, all of him, and are surprised to see he hasn’t changed much. His eyes are still the same. A few wrinkles around them, sure, but still that same striking blue that you could get lost in for hours. His hair’s a little shorter than it was back in high school and there’s a little grey around his temples and in his beard but it suits him.

He still has a lean physique but he’s much more muscular now, and you wonder how many hours a week he spends at the gym. He’s wearing a simple white and blue striped t shirt, his biceps stretching the fabric just enough so that you can tell he’s flexing. The jeans he’s wearing are dark blue, his sneakers so white you wonder if they’re new. He looks nothing like the hardened criminal you made him out to be, and much more like a happily married father of three that you hope he isn’t.

God, what if he isn’t involved? What if he’s just like, their accountant or something? You shake your head you know he’s not.

“Coffee?” he asks, interrupting your thoughts. He’s standing up, but keeping his distance as he walks to the door.

It sounds like a normal question but this whole situation is absurd and so it takes you a while to reply. “That depends,” you finally say, one eyebrow raised, “am I just here for some small-talk or are you actually going to tell me everything?”

“Dragă, please,” he says, but realizes his mistake and quickly adds, “You’re here because I need-” he looks at you, “I need you to know everything.”

“Then I’m going to need something stronger than coffee.” And, because you’re still angry, a sneer, “Babe.”

#Sebastian Stan x reader #Sebastian Stan imagine #Sebastian Stan fanfic #Things We Lost in the Fire #Harley Sunday x Sebastian Stan

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cyn-00 · 5 years

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Moreid one shot, 6 - "way past that"

Season 7, episode 20 "The company" (the one where Derek finally finds his cousin Cindi after years she had been missing but her family had no proof of her death. At the very end, when Derek, his sister Sarah, his aunt, Cindi and her son finally gather and hug)

We love some unrequested long ass but hopefully not boring fic. Basically a follow-up to the episode, definitely not one of my best works...

Also bad news: I've just started season 8 which is the one where Reid has that thing going on with Maeve, so A) I'm gonna be depressed and frustrated for a whole ass season + B) there probably won't be any Moreid inspo here and there so I'm sorry but I probably won't write fics during this one :( I could still do some throwbacks to older seasons though, I'll see what my big (?) creative (?) brain can do

Read it on AO3

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Reid was watching the scene through the blinds of the room him and the rest of the team were, chatting and finally relaxing while reordering their things, ready to go home.

He could clearly see, even from far away, that Morgan had teary eyes - but they weren't tears of sadness, nor anger. They were ones of joy and relief. Derek's aunt was hugging Cindi's kid, Derek was talking with his sister Sarah.

The young genius was totally immersed. He was so moved and happy that Morgan could finally let go of all the rage and uncomfort he had been burying inside for the past days - to be fair, those feelings had been there for months - he didn't even realize he was lopsidedly smiling to himself, like an idiot.

Everyone was getting out of the room with their hands full of stuff.

"You better pick your things up cause I wanna go home and sleep, and I'm pretty sure everyone agrees with me when I say that we won't regret leaving you here..." Emily said to him, jokingly.

"Yes ma'am, we do agree." Rossi responded.

"Mh mh." Reid mumbled, without shifting his eyes an inch from the view, barely hearing what the others were saying.

JJ sighed, resigned to the fact that he would probably be in there for another 30 minutes. "Alright. Bye Spence!"

The room was now empty. Reid saw Morgan looking at the team leaving, like he was awakened and brought back to the real world.

His eyes finally met Spencer's for just a split second, and in that moment Spencer immediately stopped looking, like he had been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing.

He coughed and clumsily stood up from the desk he was sitting on, starting to pick up his stuff with no specific order. Just to make it look like he had actually been doing something for the past 10 minutes, instead of watching Morgan like it was the most entertaining thing ever - it kinda was, to him. No matter the context.

Derek knew he had been looking all along. He simply didn't wanna look back at him, in the attempt to avoid drawing his sister's attention to Spencer as well.

Mission failed.

"What you looking at?" Sarah asked after a few seconds of him being clearly distracted while she was talking.

Derek's eyes shifted back to her, raising his eyebrows and opening his mouth like he had something to say; but no valid excuse came out.

His sister turned around and saw it. She saw what had been distracting him for the past 5 minutes: Doctor Spencer Reid, sorting out his stuff in the other room. Now that the others had gone away leaving the doctor alone in there, there was nothing convincing enough Derek could say to dissuade her from gathering that he was looking at the pretty boy in the other room.

Reid looked up at the two for a second and waved at them, wearing his usual cute-kinda-awkward smile.

Sarah waved back, giggling at how geeky he was. "So...you gonna invite the guy over to dinner or something? Ever? In your lifetime?"

Derek sighed, still looking at Spencer. "I wish. It's not up to me, I don't think he'd be comfortable with that."

"C'mon why not? We've loved him since day one just like you did." she paused, recalling a memory she wasn't sure if sharing with her brother. She quickly decided on doing so.

"As a matter of fact, Desirée was the one who predicted something was up with you two just by the way you talked about him." she smirked.

"...I always talk about every member of my team. I talk about Penelope a lot. And Emily." Derek answered, frowning, like he took what his sister said as an accuse of some sort.

"Yeah, but that's different..." Sarah pointed out.

Derek didn't answer: she wasn't the first person telling him that he'd always talked about Spencer in a "different" way, since the beginning, when he hadn't even figured out his feelings for him yet. He'd come to the conclusion that he probably did that without even noticing.

There were a few seconds of silence - enough for her to notice that Derek had got back to looking at Spencer. She affectionately put a hand on his shoulder. "Come on. Go."

"I-I'm sorry sis, he's been trying to ignore me for the past two days on purpose cause I've been nervous all the time and I've been acting like a dick, honestly-"

"I know, I know, I imagined that. You owe him. We're fine." she gave him a kiss on the cheek and headed closer to her aunt and cousin, to intrude their conversation and give Derek a reason not to feel guilty about leaving her like that.

Morgan entered the room. Reid heard his footsteps but didn't - couldn't - turn around: he was stretching over the table to try and reach a pile of documents. He managed to pick it up and started to browse through the papers distractedly, while turning around to face him.

"You know, I was thinking that maybe-" He STARTED talking.

Derek cupped his boyfriend's face in his hands and kissed him impulsively, making Spencer breathe out a faint moan of surprise and chaotically put the files back on the desk right behind him. It took all of his physical strength and the remaining amount of attention he wasn't paying to that hot kiss not to just drop the files on the floor.

He wrapped his arms around Derek's waist and leaned closer. Without even thinking of how inappropriate that must have looked, his hands snaked under the other's t-shirt, lightly stroking his back.

The moment he felt Spencer's soft touch on his skin, Derek got goosebumps all over his body. He put a hand on the back of Reid's head, involuntarily messing his hair up, and started leaving quick kisses on his jaw and behind his ear. He knew that was a huge turn-on for him. Exactly the same way Spencer knew how huge of a turn-on was for Derek when he ran his fingers up and down his back - or abs; oh, the abs.

Spencer gasped, keeping his eyes shut. In the attempt of trying to stay on his feet, he put his hands behind him, trying to hold himself onto the edge of the desk.

Wrong move: his hands knocked off the pile of papers, spreading them all over the table and the floor. That was what - maybe luckily - interrupted the dynamic, which was clearly proceeding toward a not-suited-for-work direction.

Derek stopped teasing Spencer and rested his forehead on his, breathing heavily.

"...shit " Spencer whispered, chuckling.

"Maybe I should've closed the door." Derek said, shaking his head.

"And the blinds." Spencer added, nodding his chin toward Sarah, who immediately jerked her face the other way because she'd been caught peeking at them with the corner of her eye, from the lobby of the police dept. Derek snorted and shook his head - again.

Spencer sat on the desk, letting his feet wiggle 10 inches from the floor; still absent-mindedly looking at Derek's family through the blinds. He was sure that they had to get moving, but also didn't want one of the only moments of intimacy the two got during the day to end; even though said "moment of intimacy" eventually turned out to be Spencer yawning every 30 seconds, approximately.

Derek silently stared tilt-headed at his boyfriend with a smile printed on his face, for what seemed like an eternity, laying his eyes on everything they could reach: his gorgeous side profile; his slightly furrowed eyebrows; the golden curls that almost reached his shoulders; that absolutely nonsensical but all the same weirdly charming way he used to wear his wristwatch too loose over the unbuttoned cuff of his shirt, instead of beneath it like normal people; the collar of his wrinkled pinstripe button-down, too large to adhere properly to his slim neck. Derek rested his hand on the side of that neck of his, half entangled in his hair, caressing the very edge of his cutting jawline with a thumb.

"You know," Morgan interrupted the silence and Reid finally looked up at him with his big, brown eyes.

"Sarah asked me if I was gonna invite you to dinner one day."

Spencer smiled awkwardly and raised his brows, surprised "She did?". Derek nodded.

"Wow- I'm- I'm flattered..." he stuttered in response, half-heartedly.

"...but?" Derek got serious.

"There's no 'but', it's just- you know. I thought your family saw me as the weird and awkward kid, just like...well, everyone, really- which is totally true by the way I don't mean to play the victim or anything."

Derek laughed. "Yes, they do."

Reid frowned. Was there something he wasn't getting?

"But they love you like that."

Spencer looked away, smiling shyly. Derek cupped his jaw in one hand to make their looks meet again - he understood that Spencer loved it when he took his face like that by how he immediately gave him those eyes, every time. The adorable eyes. It worked like magic.

He bent over to whisper in his ear.

"I love you like that."

Spencer was already closing his eyes and melting in Derek's warmth, expecting one of his kisses. But Morgan wanted to tease him a little bit, so he backed away from him and walked toward the door with a smirk on his face, leaving there both Reid AND the mess of files they dropped on the floor.

"Wait!" Spencer squeaked when Derek was already on the threshold of the door.

"Nuh-huh pretty boy I ain't gonna help you with that mess. Besides: it's your fault, it's not like I pushed you or anything" he said jokingly, still wearing that smirk that made Spencer's whole body blush.

"Yeah- no, actually, it's not about that, though you could help me since we're already late and it IS kind of your fault- frankly though, it's totally your fault, what did you expect me to do? You were utterly over me, physically-"

"Baby. I was joking. What was it?" Derek interrupted the flood of words coming out of his mouth.

"Yeah sorry, uhm" he paused, his brain trying to start working again after crashing for a second at the word "baby".

He kept his eyes firm on Derek's face with his mouth open - though no words came out at all - fidgeting with his hands like he always did, not knowing what it meant to stay still. Derek raised his brows in a way that meant: "I'm listening...?".

"Why- why aren't you mad?" Spencer finally said, choosing the simplest and less mistakable way to say it.

Derek frowned. "Mad? At you? For wha- wait, did you do something I should be mad about?"

"Nonono not like that it's just, I haven't really talked to you in the past few days. And I should have been there for you with all that was going on."

"You WERE there. Just like anybody else."

"Exactly, and I should have done something more, instead I acted just like anybody else on the team, but I'm not anybody else otherwise this- us, we wouldn't make sense... right?" he waited hopeful for his boyfriend's confirmation, but his expression remained the same. "So I thought you would feel betrayed in some way, I don't know if you do feel like that and you're not telling me to not make me feel...guilty, but- but anyway I'm sorry. I'm really sorry that I acted like I don't have any responsibility to you."

"Kid" Derek said softly. "we're way past the whole 'I'm here for you if you wanna talk' thing. I know that you are, and I chose not to talk about it more than we were already doing on the job. We both bear a responsibility to each other and we always both respect that" he paused. "You worked on the case, you gave me space, you hugged me when I needed a hug. That's all that matters to me and you know it inside that big brain of yours."

Reid looked like he hadn't even heard half of the talk, gazing at him with heart eyes.

Morgan paused again, expecting some sort of answer, which never came. "What? One minute you're all sorry and the next you're looking at me like- like that." he raised his hand to point toward the face he was making. "What's up with you?" he asked jokingly after a few seconds of silence.

"So we're way past that uh?" Reid quoted him timidly, like he had to make it official.

"Waaay past that." Morgan answered with an eye-roll, playing along, knowing where that was going.

"So we're...serious. Aren't we?" he questioned rhetorically, biting his lip and looking down to fake-concentrate on fiddling with the hem of his sweater vest.

"Yes, genius boy, we're serious."

Spencer nodded shortly and turned around to hide his smile; finally deciding to - once again: clumsily - pick up the files and randomly stuff some of them in his satchel, while he kept the others in his hand. If he had done that with any criteria at all, they would have all fit in the bag: that was what Derek was thinking, looking at his messy boyfriend try to un-mess things up; wondering if maybe he really should've considered offering a hand.

They both finally got out of the room, 20 minutes later, but Derek's family was still there. He stopped walking and grabbed Spencer's arm to make him do the same.

"Imma wait for Hotch, I'll catch up in a minute."

"Alright" Spencer nodded.

"Yeah wait, first I gotta ask you one last thing..."

"...sure" Spencer squinted his eyes, pronouncing the word slowly. Derek looked a teeny tiny bit nervous, which was unusual, to say the least.

"Does your mom know? About...us? About me ?"

Spencer grinned knowingly. "Why are you even asking, you KNOW that I tell her everything."

"...so...? "

"So I've been telling her about you since the second I met you." he paused, giving him his sweet smile. "She knew where this was going before I did." By 'this' he clearly meant them.

Derek looked down at his feet, biting his bottom lip in the attempt to contain a chuckle.

Spencer wanted to kiss him. But they were in the main lobby, there was Sarah not so far: he didn't know if Derek would be okay with it.

He hesitated a second to look around and then gave him a quick peck at the corner of his lips, so quick nobody noticed. But as soon as he pulled away a little, Derek cupped his face and kissed him way deeper. In that moment, Reid understood that Morgan really didn't care about showing everyone that they were a thing. Not even his family. He was more than just not ashamed of it - he was proud.

Spencer could have gone hours kissing like that, but he stopped. "Alright- you're gonna make me drop the files again" he mumbled breathily against his lips, smiling.

Derek laughed and shook his head, finally letting Spencer go and following him with his gaze as he walked away.

He looked over to his sister: she was smirking. She had been looking at them all along. Nice.

Derek scratched the back of his neck and turned around, already regretting kissing Spencer in front of them: he could only imagine the amount of embarrassing questions expecting him at the next family dinner. To which he would also have to take Spencer with, at that point.

Hotch finally got out of an office where he had been talking with God knows who about God knows what for the whole time Morgan was with Reid. He always had to do the boring, bureaucratic stuff.

"Morgan. Have you been waiting for me this whole time?" he asked, in the most ironic tone he could pull off - which wasn't THAT clearly ironic.

"Yeah- no, actually, I was- nevermind. We good to go?"

"I was kidding. I know you were talking to Reid."

Derek nodded, looking at his feet, like talking to Reid was something to keep secret. Problem is, 'talking' wasn't all they'd been doing in the other room for 20 minutes.

Hotch frowned: he sensed something was wrong - mistakenly. "Is everything alright with you two?"

"...why are you asking? Should I know something?" Derek returned the frown. Apparently, that day people thought it was real fun to say confusing things.

Hotch sighed. "Reid wanted to apologize to you for a thing. He only hinted it to me but I can guess what he was talking about."

Derek breathed out, relieved. "Yeah. There was no need to apologize but you know how he's done. We're good." he answered, trying to hide a smile that said: we're REAL good.

"Thank God. When something is wrong between you two it's a mess." Hotch smirked with an eyebrow raised, using that same "ironic" tone from earlier, which came off as such only to the team because they knew him enough to resign to the fact that that was the most ironic it could ever get.

Derek snorted, smiling, without asking for an explanation: he knew exactly that the way the whole team functioned on the job got fucked up big time when there was tension between Spencer and him.

Hotch casually patted his shoulder. "Alright, let's get on the jet already. They're all probably asleep by now."

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inknopewetrust · 5 years

Text

in the cloak of darkness pt. 3

Summary: “I’ve liked you for a long time...”

Pairing: Detective Loki x Reader

Word Count: 3.67k

Warnings: Mature Language, mature themes.

A/N: Please visit the most recent post for any updates.

Parts: 01 | 02 |...| 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 |

The Dover’s lived on the edge of a turn, the house was adorned with wood on the outside and was an odd shape, at least to you. The yard was encapsulated by trees, the forest constantly reminding the family of the possible location of Anna and Joy.

After your conversation with Loki, everything was cumbersome. The only words that were shared were, ‘let’s go’ and ‘we’re here.’ Loki let you lead this one, at least for the introductions. You walked up the steps and knocked on the door, then rang the doorbell once. You and Loki barely exchanging a glance at one another.

“Hi, can I help you?” A woman, middle aged with blonde hair opened the door. You smiled as kindly as you could to not worry her and moved to show her your badge.

“Hi Mrs. Dover, I’m Detective L/N and this is Detective Loki, we were hoping to catch up with you on what you discussed with the police last night and about the polygraph test this morning. We will be leading the case to find your daughter.” You tell her and she nods her head along, gathering the information you just stated before she opened the door and led you inside. She brought you into the living room which had appeared quite put together, besides the woman who just made herself comfortable, wrapping her body around a blanket and sitting in the seat closest to the edge of the couch. Loki sat down on the other end, taking out his phone to answer whoever might have texted him. You took a seat before her on the recliner.

“So did we pass?” Grace Dover asks either of you but she had been watching Loki text on his phone. He stopped and put the phone in his pocket before turning to her.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” He replied and she asked again.

“The poly thing, the lie detector we took this morning, did we pass?” She said and crossed her arms in front of her.

“Oh, yeah... yeah, sorry. Yes, we appreciate your cooperation.” Loki looked away from her and folded his hands in front of him. Grace looked over to you and you looked from watching Loki to her.

“It’s embarrassing... all this fuss.” She tells the both of you and you furrow your brows at her, confused as to why she would consider his missing child a fussy situation.

“Everyone’s going to think we’re crazy when those two come out of hiding, where ever they are.” She sighs and looks down the hallway where she had said her husband was just using the bathroom.

“Mrs. Dover, do you have any reason to believe that they ran away?” You asked her and she shrugged a bit.

“No...” She whispered and cringed at herself inwardly before looking at the both of you.

“They’re happy... They must have run away.” Grace nodded her head at no one in particular, more so she was trying to convince herself that they had run away.

“They must have run away, right?” She looked at Loki and he nodded his head and gave her a small, sympathetic smile.

“Um.” Grace cleared her throat and tried to look more enthused.

“Your Police Captain told me that you’ve solved every case you’ve ever been assigned, is that right?” She asked Loki and he looked away from her, meeting your eyes for the first time since the fight in the car. Grace looked over at you then and tried to give you a smile. You broke the gaze between you and Loki and looked back at her.

“Do you have children, Detective?” She seemed to ask only you but you weren’t sure.

“No... We’re going to find you daughter, Mrs. Dover.” You reassured her and Loki nodded at her too. She broke down crying and Loki continued to talk to calm her nerves.

“We believe that they came back here after they left the Birches yesterday.” Loki told her but the conversation was interrupted by Mr. Dover, Keller, who entered the living room fixing the buttons on the cuffs of his shirt. He was a tall man, a bit taller than Loki and looked like a lumberjack, a full beard covered his face and he wore plaid and heavy looking shoes. You stood, along with Loki in a way of greeting him coming into the room.

“They were looking for Anna’s red whistle.” He stated and moved over to his wife who was still crying on the couch. She clung onto him as he rubbed a hand over her head and unwashed hair.

“Right.” Loki agreed. “I read your statement.”

“I’m Detective Loki, this is my partner Detective L/n.” Loki introduced you and you were slowly getting sick of introducing yourselves to new people. Keller shook both of your hands.

“We are leading the investigation regarding your daughter’s disappearance.” You comment and he nods at you in understanding. Loki gestured to the couch, offering Keller a place to sit.

“Please, sit down.”

“No...” He stutters a few words before finding what he wanted to say.

“My son, he told you that the guy was just inside the RV just watching ‘em.” He waits for Loki to give him some kind of response to what his son had told police earlier in the day.

“We haven’t found any physical evidence inside the RV, or his Aunt’s house where he lives.” Loki responded with a straight face, trying to be as professional as he could.

“Nothing?” Keller almost whispers in sadness with a strangled look gracing his grizzly face.

“Alex Jones, we found out, has the IQ of a ten year old boy... We don’t believe he could be capable of something like this.” You disclose to the Dover’s and they look at you, confusion finding a home between them.

“Well how can he drive an RV if he can’t answer a question.” Keller inquires and Loki defends you as Keller became visibly upset.

“He has a valid Pennsylvania license.” Loki tells him and Keller becomes more conflicted and confused.

“And they said he ran, right? They said he tried to run away, why would he run?”

“We’ve just spent ten hours questioning this boy. I hear what you’re saying.” Loki extends his arm, trying to diffuse the situation before Keller explodes like a bomb.

“Did you give him a lie detector, you gave us a lie detector, did you give him one?”

“Sir, I understand what you’re asking me, yes we did. We gave him a lie detector, but there’s no way he-” Loki laughs in frustration a little bit and that made Keller angry.

“A lie detector doesn’t work if you don’t understand the questions.” Loki tells him and suddenly Keller and Loki were talking over one another and everything spiraled out of control.

“Shut the fuck up for a fucking second!” Keller shouted at Loki and Grace flinched and wheezed a little and Keller realized what he had said and his words were out of hand. You moved toward Loki, teaming up by his side and he looked at you, sighing to himself but not letting Keller affect him.

“This is what I’m going to have you do for me, I’m going to need you to calm down.” Keller collected himself and took in a deep breath to calm his nerves.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, just-just listen to me for a second...”

“Mr. Dover, I know this is an incredibly difficult thing to go through, we have every police officer in the state looking for Joy and Anna right now.” You told him, giving Loki a break from dealing with Keller himself.

“How could you possibly know what this feels like? My daughter is gone! And there’s nothing that we know can help find her!” Keller explains and Grace just cries more into Keller’s arm.

“My sister went missing when I was eleven. I got into this career to stop little children from being taken and prevent families from feeling what my family went through. We will find Anna and bring her home to you, I promise.” You explain to them and Grace looked up from Keller’s arm and looks to you.

“Did they ever find your sister?” Grace asked but immediately apologized. You looked at her and then Keller, turning to Loki and giving him a look which he only could read as ‘I need to leave’ and he let you go. You could hear Grace apologize to Loki again for what she said and he reassured her that you would be just fine. Just fine.

You sat in the car waiting for a few minutes before Loki exited the house. You watched him as he made his way to the car, He must have received a text or call because he took out his phone but immediately put it back, ignoring whoever it was. He got into the car, ready to turn on the ignition but was interrupted by Keller yelling at the car.

“Detectives! Detectives!”

“Shit.” Loki mumbled under his breath and rolled down the window, Keller’s eyes flashing between the two of you as he tried to get answers about Alex Jones.

“He stays in custody until my daughter is found right? Right?”

“We have a forty-eight hour hold on him, it ends tomorrow unless we bring charges.” Loki tells him.

“Well charge him with something, charge him.”

“Mr. Dover-”

“That man abducted two little girls and that has to be worth something to keep him in custody and I want you to be one hundred percent sure. Thank you, I appreciate it.” Keller left and Loki rolled the window back up, turned on the car and drove off.

“I never thought I would use Lucy as an excuse to get people to trust me, but I guess there’s a first time for everything...” You said quietly, trailing off as your crossed your arms over your chest, warming your body with the big blue coat you wore and looked out the window.

“I think they felt they weren’t alone. They’ll at least trust you now.” Loki replied and you shrugged.

“I don’t know...” You whispered and just hoped he get to the station faster than usual so you could get out of the car and away from everything for a minute.

“I’m sorry about what I did earlier... I-” He cleared his throat. “I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry.”

“No, I overreacted, it’s something we should have talked about before.” You say and he agrees with you, no questions asked. But he hesitated for a moment before asking you his own question, afraid of a screaming match waiting to break free from inside the two of you due to overwhelming frustrations in work and life.

“Should we talk about it now?” He asked and you sigh and rub your hand over your face, not right now, not right now.

“I don’t want to bring this into work. You can drive to my house, then we can talk there if that’s alright with you.” You suggest and he taps his fingers against the steering wheel in contemplation.

“Ok.”

The station was no different than before you had left that morning. There were news stations parked outside, reporters standing by the door waiting for someone to come and talk to them. Loki pulled into a spot specifically reserved for employees of the precinct and the two of you sat in the car for a moment watching the press.

“They’re fucking animals.” You comment and he laughs, for the first time since your argument, and points to a woman in a blazer and skirt. Heels on her feet and her hair was done up like some early two-thousands bride.

“I suppose no one told her it was the end of November huh?” You snickered at the thought and grabbed the files from the back, reaching over the center consul, trying to avoid touching Loki too much as you gathered the files.

“O’Malley should really give a press conference; you can’t keep people in the dark when two kids are missing. He’s a prick and an asshole who shouldn’t be Captain of this force. All he wants is to go home and sit at the dinner table with his family and tries to get through his day without an incident, but the minute something horrible happens he keeps the doors closed and everyone out so we can deal with it internally, and who does that help when no one knows what’s going on? No one.” You huff and put papers back in their respective folders before handing the ones Loki had been working on to him and then getting out of the car.

Loki waited for you at the trunk of the car to avoid one of you getting bombarded with reporters, which you were thankful for because it did happen as soon as you got close to the doors. Everyone was asking what was going on, who the two of you were, what was your involvement with the case, and rumors that circled around it. You ignored them both and Loki opened the door, letting you in first before closing it harshly behind him and shooing the reporters away.

At your desk, you took off your jacket and replaced it with the blazer that had been sitting on the back of your chair. Your desk was across from Loki’s and you shared the cubical with two officers who were out on a case at the moment, so it was quiet but peaceful for a minute. You hung up the coat where your blazer had been and put the files away, which was only halted when you took note of the pictures that had hung on the bulletin on your desk.

Two little girls, one younger than the other and marshmallows on fire, on sticks, in front of a campfire, labeled first camping trip, 1994. Lucy was only eight and the next day you would wake up and she wasn’t sleeping next to you like she should have been.

You put the files down quickly and whisked yourself to the locker room, running literally into Loki as you went and he put his arms on your shoulders to stop you but you backed yourself out of his grasp and into the room. The locker room was barely what it was supposed to be. There were two showers, with two toilets separate from the rest of the room which just held lockers with everyone’s last names on it. You went to your locker, took out your bag which was one you were able to keep a change of clothes, extra shoes, a few snacks in and your purse, so, it was about the size of a backpack. You grabbed the keys out of the bag and slung it over your shoulders, slamming the locker door shut and went back out into the office. Loki wasn’t at his desk at the moment so you assumed he was with O’Malley, luckily enough for you, you wouldn’t have to explain to him why you were leaving early, but he more than likely already understood why.

I went home. I just need some time. That was all you wrote on the sticky note you left on his keyboard.

Pulling into your driveway, your phone buzzed twice. Loki had read your note and said he would be over later, needing to follow up with registered sex offenders before he could leave for the night. So, you waited.

You didn’t know how long you were asleep but your doorbell sounded and you quickly woke and sat up from the couch, your neck strained and pained as you caught your breath. You rushed over to the door, seemingly forgot that Loki was supposed to have come over, worried that something might have gone wrong while you were asleep. You cracked open the door, a sound that resonated as a rubber peeling off something occurred when you opened the door, the cold rushing in and hitting your skin like icicles. Loki, with his hands in his big jacket pockets and his winter hat on stood there, bags ever present under his eyes.

“Sorry, I wasn’t sure how long that would take.” He said as you let him inside. He took off his coat and hung it over one of the chairs of your dining room table, as it he did every time. You shut the door behind you and waited until he was done so you could lead the way into your home, even though he knew what rooms where were. You flicked on the light switch in the living room, folding up the blanket you were using so he could sit down too.

“I didn’t know you were sleeping; I could have come another time.” He sighed and ran a hand over his face as he sat down, blinking hard, nervously.

“It’s fine. I don’t remember falling asleep.” You tell him and then the awkwardness of the conversation settles, the air thick and unwanted as the concept of love and the two of you hangs over your heads. You weren’t afraid of the conversation, neither was he but it still was something you dreaded and inside you knew that this could go one of two ways.

“So...” Loki trailed off and looked down at his feet as he leaned forward in the spot he was sitting in. He folded his hands in front of him and you leaned against the back of the couch, your arm resting on the top of it and your head rested against it, your feet covered by the blanket and curled up against you.

“Are you not even going to look at me?” You ask him and he does, his face worn and tired, it had been a long day after all.

“What do you want me to say, Y/n? I don’t want to fight about this... we don’t need to make it a fight.” He explained and you agreed, sure. But everything that was good for you ended in a fight and to be completely honest, you didn’t know how to handle situations like this unless it ended in a fight. Loki was different though. It could have been because he was your partner and had seen every side of you, he knew you better than anyone in the world and that was different for you, no one else knew anything.

The feeling when he looked into your eyes overwhelmed you. It was more than likely a mix of remembering Lucy, the strain of her disappearance, and your complicated feelings for the man sitting next to you. Tears welling inside your eyes and you looked away from him, embarrassed by your emotions, and he moved closer to you, rubbing his hand comforting on your back and resting the other on your folded legs.

“Baby, baby... it’s alright...” He whispered quietly as he let you cry into him.

Loki’s childhood was rough to say the least, he knew things that would come up in a case would affect him badly but he shoved it down, as he was taught to do as he lived in boys homes his entire life. Hell, the reason he didn’t like anyone using his first name was because it was the name the people who left him gave him and nothing good ever came from them. He watched as you welcomed his touch, the feeling warm and comforting inside of him and sad at the same time.

“I’m-I’m sorry. God, I’m just a whole mess, aren’t I?” You tried to laugh and break the tension but it didn’t exactly work.

“We’re all a mess right now. It’s okay.” He reassured you and continued to rub your back. You wiped under your eyes, brushing the tears away.

“I like you.” You whispered to him and he pushed the stray hairs out of your face, watching your eyes, then your lips, then your eyes again.

“I’ve liked you for a long time and I-I know I really shouldn’t but you’re the only thing that has been good in a really, really long time.”

Loki smiled lightly and almost blushed, he was enamored by you and he wasn’t sure if he had ever felt that way about anyone before. Sure, there had been other women in his life, for the short term and long, but none of them made him feel the way you made him feel. He was never too good with words. During his life, especially with the priests and the church members, he was always expected to be quiet, still and quiet and never talk about the things he experienced or felt, other than his occasional sin of course. So, instead of saying anything he kissed you softly, making sure that what he was doing was ok for you.

You responded faster than he thought you would, your hand coming to rest upon his as he moved his hand from your back to your neck, deepening the kiss and moved his other hand to grasp your waist. You wrapped your arms around him, bringing him closer to you and after a few moments he broke the kiss. His shirt was wrinkled and his cheeks were red, but his eyes were on you, that look was for you.

“I...” He trailed off and you got an itch for what he was going to say, only because you knew him well and he didn’t want to do anything you might not want because of the day both of you had.

“It’s okay... come on.” You escaped his grasp and tossed the blanket on the couch, extending you hand to him as he sat.

“Let’s go to bed, we’ll have a long day tomorrow too.” He took your hand and brought it to his lips and kissed the back of it before pulling you back to him and planting one on your forehead also.

Tomorrow was nothing like you expected it to be.

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#detective loki x reader #detective loki imagine #detective loki #jake gyllenhaal imagine #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal #Prisoners 2013 #prisoners #hugh jackman

223 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Jac & Amelia

Jac: Hi, sorry if this wasn't the right way to go about this, but I thought it would be more awkward/worse for you to stop the conversation if I approached you in person Jac: but if you're open to it, I'd like to talk Amelia: What is there to say? Jac: From my perspective, a lot Jac: but mainly an apology, if that's all I get to say Amelia: I already know you're sorry, it's been all over for ages, I don't need to hear it Jac: Well you don't know that, I never said it Amelia: you've never said a lot of things, I'm still well aware Jac: That's how miscommunication and misunderstanding happens Jac: you can still not need or want to hear it but you don't know anything that I didn't tell you Amelia: okay Jac: I can confirm any ideas you have, if you would like Jac: but the main reason I want to talk is to apologize for the ways I behaved, and treated you Amelia: well, say whatever you want to say then Jac: Alright Jac: I should never have started anything with you Jac: it was never fair Jac: and continuing it for how long I did was worse Amelia: No you shouldn't, neither should I Jac: I can see how it was harder for you to make a better decision though Jac: given your feelings Amelia: that's no excuse, and I'm not interested in giving myself an out Amelia: I should've made better choices because of how much I cared about you, it's worse if anything Jac: Okay, you don't have to, but I certainly don't hold it against you Jac: you were still coming from a place of care, even if misguided, I wasn't Amelia: it's not comforting Amelia: I was coming from a selfish place, I know that, whatever you think Jac: Alright, it doesn't need to be comforting, I'm just letting you know Jac: there's no need or reason that I feel for me to blame you Jac: but I need to say sorry, for that, and for how we ended things before that Amelia: No you don't, because I'm not just a fucking lose end for you to tie up before you leave Jac: That isn't what it is Jac: I owe apologies Amelia: you don't owe me anything Amelia: we ended things ages ago Jac: that doesn't mean anything Jac: I still wronged you and never owned up to those things Amelia: it means getting into it isn't something I want to do because I've tried really hard to get over it Jac: Then we don't have to Amelia: I'm looking forward, not backwards Amelia: and there isn't an apology I can give you that'll make anything I did okay or me feel okay about it either Jac: I'm not looking for an apology or anything in return Amelia: you should Amelia: because I wronged you too and never owned up to it Jac: I don't see it like that, it didn't feel like that Amelia: okay Jac: if it would help, then I'd accept it, but you've said it won't make you feel better so really, don't worry Amelia: right Jac: So, if my apology doesn't serve you either Jac: I'll leave you alone again now Amelia: you said you need to do it, so just do it, if it's that important to you Jac: only if it's going to reassure people, or give some sense of closure Jac: the latter being more what I was aiming for Jac: it's not going to be anything for me if it isn't for you Amelia: I'll get closure by not having to see you any more Jac: Neither of us is going to gone forever Jac: it'll certainly be easier, and less frequent Jac: but I'm not going to say you'll never see me again, that's just unrealistic Amelia: there's at least higher chance Amelia: my mum keeps me super busy with all her holiday traditions Jac: Fair enough Jac: I'd rather not be concerned about having to avoid anyone when I'm here Amelia: you'll be busy avoiding all of Jess' fan's and stalkers Amelia: I like his music, but not to that level Jac: That's fine, I can deal with that Amelia: good, he's worried about how it's gonna be for you all Jac: You don't need to tell me about my own brother Amelia: you don't need to get defensive about it Jac: I just don't need to talk about that with you Jac: it's not got anything to do with what needs to be said, if at all Amelia: we're not, we're basically done talking really Jac: If you like Amelia: I'd have liked for this conversation never to have been started but you know Jac: I can't do anything about that, I'm afraid Jac: Good luck and goodbye then Amelia: yeah, you too Jac: Thank you, I appreciate that Amelia: I'd never wish you bad luck Jac: Never said you would Amelia: I'm not a 🔮💎💫 gay, still don't even know that much about astrology Jac: Whoever you are, as long as you're happy with that Jac: it's certainly no business of mine Amelia: 😂 no and no Jac: I'm sorry to hear that on the former Amelia: maybe uni will fix everything, maybe not Jac: A fresh start in a new place can't hurt you Jac: and I'm sure you have other protections in place Amelia: 🤞 I won't be so dramatic Amelia: then it can't be as bad as here Jac: It's a change of scenery not a change of personality Amelia: rude Jac: I didn't mean it to be Amelia: it's a chance to grow up, I'm not 15 anymore and nobody there will have known me when I was Jac: That much is true Amelia: I'd say I'll see you around but if I do, I'll obviously act like I haven't Amelia: that's been working Jac: Whatever works for you Amelia: 👋 Jac: I'll be seeing you Amelia: no, you won't 👻 Jac: I didn't say I'd pretend or adopt the same methods you use Amelia: I can't make you Jac: No Jac: I've got no interest in burying my head in the sand Amelia: because you already did it for so long Jac: because I'm moving forward, not just looking Amelia: that's great Jac: It does feel it Amelia: good, you've felt like shit for long enough as well Jac: I guess so Amelia: okay then Jac: If that's all Jac: Bye Amelia Amelia: we still need a different word for it but yeah, bye Jac: Does it really matter? Amelia: doesn't it? that this time we actually mean it but it sounds exactly the same as the times we didn't Jac: There's nothing final implied by any goodbye Jac: it's just a way to end a conversation you don't want to have Amelia: but this time there should be Amelia: very anticlimactic Jac: I don't mean to be rude again but that really is your problem too, loquaciously and otherwise Jac: I'm not attempting dramatics Jac: I opened lines of conversation, you closed them, that's all this is Amelia: I'm attempting levity, if anything Amelia: but alright Jac: Why? Amelia: because you sound like you're giving a rehearsed speech Jac: just because I've put thought into what I'm going to say, doesn't mean it's any less valid Amelia: I didn't say it was invalid Jac: you're invalidating it Amelia: no more than you comparing me to an ostrich Jac: We're at very different places, clearly Amelia: you think you're so far ahead of me, clearly Jac: You're presenting me with avoidance as coping Jac: I'm not gonna say good luck with that, or good for you Jac: you can do whatever you like but I won't pretend I think it's brilliant Amelia: you're presenting me with patronising bullshit over any kind of real conversation Jac: I gave you the opportunity to air your grievances, you didn't want to Jac: I offered apologies, you did not want them either Amelia: I don't know if I'll ever be able to see you and not want to walk immediately off in the other direction, I don't need your judgment for it Jac: I'm not judging you, I'm not applauding or enabling, that's all Jac: I was never asking to be back in your life Amelia: you're asking me to accept your apology as if that will paper over every fucking crack and then we can just see each other out and about as strangers Jac: You don't have to, I was literally just trying to apologize and then see where you were at Jac: and I have Amelia: you've ❌ my name off your list Amelia: that's literally all this is to you Jac: Don't presume to know that Amelia: you're just going to walk away from this conversation with your closure and into your new life as a better person Jac: Well no I'm not, because you haven't given me that or accepted my apology Jac: just because I'm handling that rejection in a more measured, calm way, doesn't mean I feel any better than you, thank you Amelia: well take it, then you can continue to feel superior as much as you like Jac: I don't feel superior to you, I haven't said that once Jac: I'm sorry for whatever is making you feel that way Amelia: it's just your tone then, okay great Jac: If you're gonna tone police, then you will probably come up against much more resistance than I'm giving Jac: You feel bad about yourself, and I am sorry for how much I undoubtedly played into that Amelia: I feel bad because things are bad, and I don't have your certainty that a new place is just going to sort that out Jac: That must be hard for you Amelia: give me whatever other apologies you've got left to get this over with Jac: I really hope life improves for you Jac: it's sad to see Amelia: me too, obviously Jac: You should really talk to someone, if you aren't Amelia: I don't need to be told what to do, the uncertainty isn't total Jac: Simply a suggestion Amelia: my parents made it way before you Jac: I'm glad Jac: how's it going? Amelia: I'm not going to talk about it with you Jac: Okay Amelia: okay Jac: Enjoy the rest of your summer Amelia: you too Jac: 😄 Amelia: it can't all be apologies, you'll have to run out eventually Jac: What do you mean? Amelia: there's not an unending number of 💔 people Jac: Yes, but I don't really get what your point is? Amelia: take a break to take your own advice and enjoy the ☀🌳🌼 Jac: Of course Jac: it's not the only thing I have to do Jac: I'm plenty busy Amelia: undoubtedly Jac: sweet of you though Amelia: everyone will be thrilled I still have it in me Jac: I'm sure they all already know Amelia: based on what evidence Jac: You didn't disown all your new friends and stop talking to your family, did you? Jac: No, that was me Amelia: I don't have any friends so my family are the only people I have to talk to Jac: you clearly talk to my brother Jac: and, your family, so case in point x2 remains Amelia: I try not to x 2 Amelia: and I'm hardly sweet when I do, so no, my point remains there's no basis for that Jac: if you weren't capable of being sweet, it wouldn't be a try for not talking to them Jac: but sure Amelia: I'm capable of being selfish, like I said Jac: I'm aware Amelia: I need them, let's not act like any of what I'm saying is for their benefit Jac: Admitting you need people makes them feel good by default Jac: you could've convinced them that you didn't Jac: and that they're not allowed to need you Amelia: clearly I'm not capable of that Jac: it's not a bad thing Amelia: the ✔ or ❌ next to it is kind of irrelevant because it's what's happened anyway Jac: it's about how you feel about it Jac: I don't know why you're trying to convince yourself you were as bad as me Amelia: I don't know why you're trying to 😇 me Jac: Hardly Jac: there's just zero point being unrealistic about it now Amelia: exactly Jac: You were an awful friend to me Jac: and you stopped even that when I could have really used one Jac: that doesn't invalidate what I'm trying to apologise for Jac: and the fact that I took advantage of you and used you Amelia: I told you I don't want it Jac: No one is sainting you, is my point Jac: I really don't like you, at all Jac: that doesn't mean I didn't do wrong, that's the situation Amelia: I know you did, that's why I don't need it spelled out Jac: I'm not spelling it out Jac: I apologized, you didn't accept it Jac: now that's on you Jac: I've done my part Amelia: you're literally spelling that out Amelia: like I don't know what's happening Jac: you clearly are confused Jac: you've said completely the opposite of what I've said to you several times Jac: and I'm not interested in participating in that misunderstanding any longer Amelia: okay Jac: right, thank you Amelia: I accept your apology, you can go Jac: I'm not an idiot Jac: don't lie Jac: I'll still be able to move on without it Amelia: I'm not lying, I get that you're sorry and why Jac: No, the more I think about it, the more I don't want to do this Jac: don't bother Amelia: fine Jac: because an apology should be mutual, to work Jac: and I truly do not forgive you Jac: you actually talking to me again has only reminded me Jac: I'm sorry for contacting you, that was a mistake Amelia: it's alright, like I said, I get what you were trying to do Jac: there's no point pretending Amelia: no there isn't, what I did to you was horrific, don't forgive me Jac: there's windows of opportunity, sometimes Jac: and you had plenty of time Amelia: time doesn't heal everything Jac: and you prioritized yourself and your healing over me and the fact you've failed to do so Jac: yeah, that really disgusts me Jac: I can't help that, not yet Jac: I don't know when Amelia: I prioritised myself, I wasn't doing any healing, distraction isn't the same thing Jac: I don't even know if I'm able to forgive that Jac: but that's a me problem Jac: I can't care about you anymore, in any way, you walked out on me near a year ago, I need to do the same now Amelia: yeah you do Jac: fucking hell Jac: right Amelia: there's nothing else to say, I'm glad you're doing better but all I really did was throw myself into school Jac: there is so much more to say Jac: but you've made it clear how you feel Amelia: so have you Amelia: walk away, the last thing I want is any of this bullshit Jac: you've heard what you want, as per usual Jac: heaven forbid you have to deal with anything uncomfortable for you Amelia: fuck's sake Jac: because I really wanted to do this, you're right, it was all about me and how great this would make me feel Amelia: okay, it's not a walk in the park for you either Jac: how dare I try Amelia: I'm stubborn, not stupid Jac: so I'm not trying, yeah? Amelia: of course you fucking are Jac: and your solution is to not, ever Amelia: with you there isn't any solution Jac: fine Amelia: I treated you like shit, it doesn't matter how sorry I am or how hard I want to try Jac: Yes, it does Jac: it would Jac: that's such an excuse Amelia: no it's not, I am sorry but that doesn't and won't change anything Jac: you aren't sorry enough to do anything about it Jac: that's what you mean Jac: and like I said, fine Amelia: if there was anything I could Amelia: then I obviously would Jac: Okay, Amelia Jac: I can't tell you what to do Amelia: yeah you can, if there's something you want Jac: You don't have to serve what I want Amelia: I know that Jac: then just Jac: this hurts Amelia: it's been too long since I did the right thing Amelia: I don't know what to do Jac: Why haven't you been trying? Amelia: because I thought it would work, my parents just kept saying I needed time, to focus on studying, that once I get to uni things will be better Jac: it isn't going to just happen Jac: it's good that you've been studying but like you said, it's distraction Amelia: yeah Jac: but you'll never be over it if you ignore it, if we do Amelia: but trying to talk about it has only ever made it worse Amelia: we don't communicate well Jac: it can be different Amelia: can it? Jac: there has been time, distance Jac: the fact we're addressing it, that's different Jac: can we just, start this conversation again, try again Amelia: I don't get why you want to when you don't even like me Jac: because I loved you Jac: for a long time, that doesn't count for nothing Jac: I don't want it to Jac: and I don't want to dislike you Jac: what's the point of that? Amelia: okay Jac: I know you know and knew at the time that it was wrong, I get that, you aren't stupid and I'm not trying to keep saying the same thing over and over Jac: but I don't think either of us fully appreciated how hard it was for you to say no to me at the time Jac: and now I'm so ashamed of how much I used that to my advantage Amelia: I did so many things going really far back, to not say no to you, so I'm ashamed of that too Jac: yeah, it wasn't like it was just that, or it just started with that whole period of time Jac: I knew on some level Jac: and I used it, however unconsciously, I still did Jac: I don't really know why, except for the fact I could, pure selfishness, to get what I wanted Jac: it wasn't fair on you, but plenty of other people too Amelia: and I kept it going because I wanted to, even though I knew I shouldn't Jac: if I was any sort of friend, I wouldn't have put you in that position, of having to make that choice Amelia: if I was any sort of friend I would've put what I wanted to one side and actually tried to help you Jac: It's clear neither of us were in any position to help each other, after a point Jac: I just don't know when we got there Amelia: I didn't try hard enough, how can I say I loved or cared about you? Jac: I wouldn't let you Jac: but that doesn't feel true because I did let you in in those other ways Jac: which, again, confusing and not fair on any level Amelia: I don't think I can love or care about anyone properly, that's why I'm scared to go forward Jac: I don't think that's true, I'm aware that isn't comforting, or counts for much Jac: but if someone actually gave you the chance, and it was fair Jac: you can't base it on what we had Jac: it was bad for us both, and didn't work because of that Amelia: I'm not, I'm basing it on Is and Jess too Jac: We were all bad to Is Jac: it was like...I don't even know Jac: a way to make you fight for my attention? mutual bonding to leave her out? Jac: I'm not being vague purposefully, I truly do not know why Jac: I don't think we had much in common with her once we got older but still, we didn't have to do what we did Jac: and it's a whole different situation with Jess, I repeatedly told you to not be friends with him, starters, and obviously it's a reminder of me you didn't necessarily need Amelia: I just feel like I can't have friends, but what am I gonna do, not go? be the weird loner who doesn't get involved in anything? Jac: We were best friends Jac: and that blew up, spectacularly Jac: you're bound to have trauma Amelia: I have no idea if we were or not, maybe I was just 😍🥰 Amelia: because I can't pinpoint when that happened Jac: but we still were Jac: it can be both Jac: isn't it, ideally, when you have a s/o Amelia: not if I didn't treat you like it was both Amelia: which I obviously didn't because I had no issue ever saying no to Is Jac: maybe that was more about that we didn't treat Is like a friend Amelia: maybe Jac: I don't know Jac: I felt like we were friends Amelia: okay, that's a good start, I guess Jac: of course I did Jac: I know you loved me for a long time Jac: but does it discount the philia type of love Amelia: I don't know what that means but it sounds disgusting Jac Philia — Affectionate Love. Philia is love without romantic attraction and occurs between friends or family members. ... Pragma — Enduring Love. ... Storge — Familiar Love. ... Eros — Romantic Love. ... Ludus — Playful Love. ... Mania — Obsessive Love. ... Philautia — Self Love. ... Agape — Selfless Love. Jac: thanks, classics Amelia: oh well then I hope not Jac: I'm sure you can have more than one at play at once Jac: personal experience and general consensus Amelia: probably Jac: you can't go through life alone Jac: you don't need to Amelia: arguably I do need to Amelia: because I can't go through anything that comes close to this again Jac: I don't think it will Jac: and I'm not just being big-headed Jac: there's a lot of songs about it, more evidence Amelia: I haven't forgotten what you said about someone else taking advantage of me, even if you have Jac: I haven't Jac: I said Jac: particularly nasty things that day Amelia: it was an especially fucked up day for you Jac: yes, I haven't forgotten anything about that time Jac: if only Jac: I still had no right, to be as Jac: callous as I was Amelia: you wanted me to leave, it wouldn't have worked any other way Jac: yeah Jac: I needed you to Amelia: and I know you think it was a dick move for me to not be there after but it was for the best Amelia: you had Jesse, having me around would've just made shit worse Jac: I know nothing would have made it better, really Amelia: of course not Jac: I guess too much had passed between us at that point Jac: I didn't think we were there yet Jac: or that there was that point, arrogantly Amelia: that's why I decided for us Amelia: you had grieving to do Jac: I can see your thought process now Amelia: there's loads I should've handled differently but I'm not sorry for walking away then Amelia: it was bigger than me and us and that whole fucking thing Jac: It probably just hit me, that I had successfully isolated myself, at that point Jac: I can't blame you, I shouldn't Amelia: you can, if you want, there were loads of times I thought I should just get over myself and see how you were Jac: It just felt like you didn't care Jac: but complaining about that when that's consistently what I told you, well Jac: there was no way Amelia: I'll never stop caring about you Jac: Me either Amelia: but I'm not good for you Amelia: and even if I could've shown up and taken over from Jesse, it wouldn't have gone well or lasted Jac: but I never should have asked for the amount from you that I consistently did Jac: that's the truth Amelia: and I shouldn't have been willing to give you everything in exchange for nothing Jac: No Jac: but we don't have to go back, to fix this Jac: to be better Jac: we have to address it, not just push on Amelia: that's a relief because we can't go back or fix it Jac: Why do you think the latter though? Amelia: too much has happened Jac: but that doesn't mean stop and stagnate Jac: better things can and should happen Amelia: yeah, for both of us separately Amelia: you're way ahead of me Jac: I'm not Jac: but I agree Jac: but that doesn't mean we can't get us past this place Jac: like I said, that doesn't mean like it was before, or even a fraction of that, it can be what we want Jac: that's all I was ever suggesting Amelia: what do you want it to be? Jac: I don't want you to want to run when you see me, or for us to not be able to acknowledge that spending the majority of our childhood together means something for who we are now Jac: I don't have it in me to keep hurting you or the only way for that to not happen to be staying away forever Jac: maybe we still need time Jac: but maybe we can make a start Amelia: I can't imagine talking about ☀☁🌧🌨 with you, that's all Amelia: the feeling I had at Is' birthday party that last time was Amelia: I don't know, but I know I can't Jac: we don't have to pretend to be strangers Jac: there's no point in that Jac: setting boundaries this time doesn't have to equate to nothing to say Amelia: okay Jac: I know there's still chance we'll fuck up Jac: and I know you don't have load of reason to trust me Jac: but if we're both trying Jac: and at least communicating better than nothing Jac: surely Amelia: because I don't have the slightest clue how to set boundaries Amelia: or loads of trust in myself Amelia: but I'll try Jac: maybe it gets easier with practice Amelia: I'm not saying it'll go as badly as when I said I'd try to be friends with Savannah but let's aim for not Jac: 😂 Jac: the bars been set Amelia: I've got nothing if not realistic goals Jac: you did really well Jac: getting on the course you did Amelia: school's boring but not hard Jac: don't tell Delia Amelia: I don't think she'd open a message from me Jac: another congrats for her amazing grades? add it to the pile Amelia: not another declaration of love, how dare I? Amelia: our only conversation to date was her asking if I fancied her when I came out so she is waiting Jac: Oh my god Jac: delusion? wishful thinking? Jac: not her Jac: going to be so disappointed when she doesn't get swept off her feet by some Mr Darcy type at Uni Amelia: I like girls so obviously I MUST like her because she's head girl in EVERY WAY, it was simply a technically she didn't get the badge Jac: She's so tragic I'm breaking my rule of not shit-talking people to do so because Jac: yikes Jac: maybe she is THAT special, after-all Amelia: I told her it must have been SO hard coming such a clear 2nd to Savannah Moore at everything whilst having a bigger ego Amelia: but I think she thought that meant I fancied Savannah so Amelia: slightly awkward Jac: she might've just hated Sav more than you Amelia: we could've bonded over it if she'd been less Amelia: her Jac: Yeah, I'm really gutted for you both on that Amelia: I'm really gutted that she doesn't realise your grades were better Amelia: like maybe she can't count Amelia: it's all a dramatic cover for illiteracy Jac: do we call that innumerate or Jac: ha, we do Jac: ['cos did just google that] Amelia: Jess wasn't far off her grades and he don't care, she can honestly calm down Jac: The compensation is real with that one Amelia: 😏 Jac: I hope she has a great time in Bath Jac: I don't hope that Savannah is there too and she has to rekindle that 'rivalry' or anything Amelia: 😂 Amelia: that's so gay Jac: if this were a Netflix adaptation of a YA novel, for sure Amelia: Sav is too pretty for her, people would be up in arms Jac: not people like Delia Jac: aspirational, the ugly nerd girl gets the hottie Amelia: she does look like she could be royalty, maybe that's the plot twist Jac: fucking secret princess Jac: yeah, Savannah probably would have gone for that Jac: if Delia pretends to be a boy too, get Shakesperian Amelia: 😂 Jac: I've missed you Amelia: not that I've had much competition Amelia: I love Jess but he isn't very chatty Jac: he's been more of a warden than a friend, or normal brother Jac: not his fault, that was what he had to be but yeah Amelia: and less said about Darla the fucking better, to be honest Amelia: I wasn't 💔 when she finished school Jac: Well she was what I needed her to be Jac: naturally, as was everyone in that period Amelia: an enabler, yeah, she was Jac: she's got a fucked life Jac: and I didn't help her no more than she helped me so Jac: guess it makes us equal enough Amelia: I've missed you too, by the way Jac: Yeah, tah Amelia: not only because having your mum for a BFF is the coolest Jac: at least she does know all the good gossip Amelia: and I know how to cross stitch, crochet and knit, gonna be an amazing wife Jac: your future wife better love a handmade gift Amelia: I made you an oversized scarf but I also learnt my lesson about leaving stuff outside your 🏠 Jac: Perhaps a stray could have used it for a bed or something Amelia: okay, I'll leave it when I'm going that way Jac: I'm sorry Amelia: me too Jac: If I wasn't such a bitch, they'd have been really nice gifts Amelia: yeah, I'm a thoughtful bitch Jac: 😂 Amelia: 😉 Jac: Shame some passing gay 🤓 didn't rescue 'em Amelia: any passing gay 🤓 has probably already read them Jac: how much gay literature have you consumed, whilst not knitting like a 👵 Amelia: [a list lol] Jac: Oh God Amelia: I don't recommend most of it, wouldn't even to Delia Jac: I don't really do non-fiction, which you conveniently forgot when trying to bash me over the head with your moral messages and thoughtful bitch-ness Jac: maybe read a case study or two, but wouldn't recommend, it's not the most reassuring Amelia: at least I didn't hit you over the head with Shakespeare or Les Mis or War and Peace Amelia: and I didn't forget Jac: that's more assault than insult Amelia: the first 📖 was because it only took my 10 minutes to find my parents 🎁 and the 2nd was to put my 🎨 in to try and protect it from the ❄ Jac: [why I write non-fiction when I clearly meant fiction I've annoyed myself wid that lol just so we don't get confused on a re-read] Jac: and the stories were a total coincidence Jac: not like plastic bags are cheaper or more plentiful Amelia: not to me but I knew YOU wouldn't read them Jac: I can google a title and get the sparknotes, like Jac: 👌👌 Amelia: 👏👏 Jac: erm don't be rude Jac: you knew I'd do that, I mean Amelia: I didn't know anything about what you would or wouldn't do Jac: except that I wouldn't read them, obvs Amelia: yeah, well the wouldn'ts are a bit easier than the woulds Jac: be very obvious if I lobbed them back through your window Jac: don't even need your ma's keen senses to work that one out Amelia: you wouldn't come that close to my 🏠 Jac: unlike you, I have no reason to be anywhere near Jac: again, obvious Amelia: unlike you I don't need a reason Jac: sounds mildly stalkerish Amelia: 😕 you're right Amelia: I won't bother to delete it though Jac: Progress Jac: it's fine, there's been very little too stalk, accusing you of that lately would just be embarrassing for me Amelia: likewise Amelia: unless you really want to see what else I've been knitting that badly Jac: you don't have a etsy yet? Jac: slacking Amelia: I wouldn't gift it to you if anyone else would have it Amelia: I didn't say I was good, only that I technically learned how Jac: Charming Jac: you want me to walk around looking a state Amelia: it's the thought that counts Amelia: and I'm under no illusion you'd wear it Amelia: it's not chanel Jac: we're still a while away from me being able to wear exclusively chanel Amelia: 💔 Jac: I know Jac: all bitch no rich, according to you Jac: not the one Amelia: you wish I'd ever called you names Amelia: I can flirt better than that, thank you Jac: That's a development too Jac: I distinctly remember 😳 Amelia: rude Jac: but true Jac: and we aren't pretending to be strangers, remember Amelia: 😣 fine Jac: 😉 Amelia: how long did the 💄 even last once you'd thawed or whatever? Jac: not like I was doing much 💋 after Jac: not to say it was poorly timed but you know Amelia: because that's the only time you ever wear it, we're not strangers Jac: okay, yeah Jac: I've still got it though Amelia: maybe it's not a total 🤑 scam in that case Jac: it is still for special occasions, if not just 💋s Jac: plus, like you said, my brother is the only person I'm hanging out with and enough fans thought we were dating for a while there without trying that hard for him 🤢 Amelia: your family and incest Jac: can you not Amelia: sorry Jac: you're okay Jac: it is vomit-inducing though Amelia: yeah Jac: like didn't want to be 'outed' as his sister but the speculation is worse Amelia: loads of fans thought we were 😍🥰😘 after I went to one gig and that made me feel 🤢 too Amelia: happy to be outed Jac: ha, seriously Jac: it's so weird Amelia: I must not have wearing 👖 that night or something Jac: gays own denim, yeah? Amelia: your guess is as likely to be right as mine is Amelia: I'm the only gay I know Jac: bollocks Jac: there's loads of out kids Amelia: and I don't know them, my mum is my best mate, remember Jac: 1. you had a girlfriend and all her pals, however briefly 2. you claim to know/love my brother 3. so what are you talking about Amelia: 1. I've mentally blocked out that entire time period 2. he's not gay Jac: 1. fair enough, yeah 2. neither are you unless we are using it as an umbrella term so suck it Amelia: 👅🍭 Jac: 😋 Amelia: or 🍦 because it's ☀ Jac: that would constitute enjoying the rest of our summer Amelia: you did tell me to Jac: likewise Jac: are you going to go to any of these final-blowout-before-we-all-leave-forever parties? Amelia: I don't know Jac: Me either Jac: probably not though Amelia: if Jess wants to before I go, I might, but there's loads of other things I'd rather do instead Jac: cute Amelia: he is my sometimes boyfriend, ask the fans Jac: that's truly horrifying Amelia: maybe I'll be washing my 👖 Jac: write a song about it, boy Amelia: 😂 Jac: he would Jac: tell me I'm wrong Jac: you can't Amelia: he definitely would Amelia: as enjoyable as it always is telling you you're wrong Jac: more enjoyable than hearing his 💔 Amelia: yeah Jac: but not 🍦 Amelia: I'm very hungry right now so no Jac: I mean, go ahead Jac: but I'm never wrong Amelia: we're not strangers Jac: 😲 Amelia: you were wrong when you thought you could ✂ your own hair Jac: I can't wait to be somewhere no one knows that anecdote Jac: and there isn't photographic evidence Amelia: and when you told me my mum's 🌹 didn't have thorns because you wanted me to pick them for you Jac: well, that was just a lie, not being wrong Jac: surprised your mum didn't cut my hair with her secateurs after that, like Amelia: okay but I can probably go on and on all day if you want Amelia: ending on my forehead scar for dramatic effect Jac: you're the one that ❤s it more than ice-cream and indie pop Jac: anyway, I feel enough guilt and shame for the things I did wrong way more recently than that, if we're being real Amelia: yeah, I know Amelia: me too Jac: summer bummer Amelia: hey, we're trying Jac: true Jac: not that bad, is it Amelia: maybe we should go to one of the parties, do it right Jac: you think? Amelia: I might worry less about freshers if I can do that without fucking it up Jac: Alright Jac: if we find one with the least offensive cast of dickheads Amelia: if anything that sounds harder than not fucking it up but okay Jac: at least Delia won't be at any Jac: it'll be fine Amelia: I'm 💔 about the lack of goodbye 💋 so if you could just not mention her name Jac: 🤐 Amelia: thanks Jac: any time Amelia: and we can leave any time if it's the worst idea I've ever had Jac: now that's unlikely Jac: however boring it is Amelia: alright, if I'm the worst date ever Jac: nah Jac: you haven't forgotten how many boys I've dated Amelia: I've tried to Jac: 🤐🤐 Amelia: 🥀🥀 Jac: don't worry, I'm very aware how tragic it was, no need to pretend Amelia: I'm just wondering if they are or if they really think they did something 🏆⭐ Jac: They did me and that was the 🏆⭐ Jac: some people can get an ego over nothing, like she-who-must-not-be-named but the majority were clued in Amelia: no arguments from me, you were 🏆⭐ Jac: you weren't bad yourself Amelia: it's not a real compliment, it's an if I were dressed like a Shakespearean boy one, so I don't need any back Jac: no it's not Amelia: and I'm going outside, you'll be thrilled to hear Amelia: ☀🌳🌼 Jac: that's nice and all but why are you ignoring me coming out to you Amelia: because I don't know what to do with it Jac: okay Jac: that went well then Amelia: how did you expect it to go? Jac: thought you might be able to muster a happy for you or something Jac: what did your mum say when you first told her? Amelia: she asked me if I was sure, which I'm obviously not going to say Jac: did you tell her she was the first person you told? Amelia: no Jac: well maybe that would've been a better place for me to start Amelia: I don't think I should be the first person you tell anything Jac: it's not like you didn't know already Jac: that's the only reason why Jac: I'm not gonna make an announcement Amelia: and you weren't happy so I'm not going to say I'm happy for you Jac: alright Jac: don't worry about it Amelia: I'm not worried about it, if you're telling me, that's different from how it was before Jac: yeah, sort of what I'm going for Amelia: the fresh start thing, yeah Jac: right Jac: may as well give it a shot Amelia: you'll have loads of chances to get a better reaction than the one you got from me Jac: not going to get laid Jac: or join a GSA Jac: just also not lying and getting laid by dudes, that's all Amelia: okay Jac: unless there's a future king of England, that's just the kind of chance you have to take regardless Amelia: 😂 Amelia: I'll let you, Sav and Delia be 👸👸🏾👸🏼 it's not really the happily ever after I'm looking for Jac: not that it ever is really Jac: 📸🏎🚇💀💔 Amelia: Jess' fans are intense enough Jac: 🙄 yeah, can't wait for the complex he gets Amelia: loads of girls have already asked me out to try and get close to him, no thank you Jac: Ew Jac: another reason not to come out Amelia: you'll just get lads doing it instead Jac: nah Jac: lads aren't like that and he has like no male fans Amelia: not yet Jac: still Jac: gay boys aren't gonna pretend to be straight to clout chase Amelia: I was thinking more straight lads trying to be his mate and take his fan girls but sure Jac: why are you wishing predators on me just to prove boys are as bad as straight girls Jac: 🤨 Amelia: I haven't made any wishes Jac: hmm 👌 Amelia: you can have a clichéd good luck message when you actually leave Jac: I'll look forward to it Jac: you're so jaded now yeah Amelia: not that kind of 👵 Jac: I've only got the one so not much to compare Jac: ❌👵👴👴 Amelia: I'll cellotape 💰 to any cards I send you along with the 🧶🧣🧤🧦🧸 Amelia: leave you long rambling voicemails because I refuse to text and show up at every family function only to leave like an hour later Amelia: the full experience Jac: honestly, sounds like you anyway Jac: not a big stretch is it Jac: 😄 Amelia: I wouldn't do it if it was, selfish bitch that I am Jac: Obvs Amelia: 😏 Jac: right Jac: better let you go enjoy the ☀🌳🌼 as requested Amelia: don't worry, I'm a 👵 who can do a few things at once Amelia: not wearing my 🍦 or anything Jac: knitted bib would probably not work Amelia: my mum must've tried it when I was a baby Jac: she probably soldiered on as well Jac: like with the bob Amelia: 😣 Amelia: BFF or not, I won't be asking her advice on what to wear for my first day of lectures Jac: Bless Jac: the preppy look would be more her wheelhouse than freshers though Amelia: freshers is a banned word in our 🏠 Amelia: she thinks I'm going to go insane Jac: you aren't Delia who's never been to a real party in her life Jac: I'll send her some charcoal all ready, like Jac: DIY Amelia: she'd probably assume it was an early 🎄🎅🎁 and you were calling her 👿 Jac: she is that pessimist Jac: not gonna beat you with a switch, sorry girl Amelia: she'd at least need to buy you a drink first Jac: I'd need more than a single drink, tah Amelia: 🍾 Jac: that's the vibe Jac: [examples 'cos St Andrews so bouj with the champagne etc lol] Amelia: you'll fit right in Amelia: I don't know what Cork's vibe is Jac: You should check out the #s it can be really useful Jac: if you're not quite ready to dip your toe into the freshers whatsapps yet Jac: I'm holding off 'cos 😬 Amelia: me too, I feel at risk of a migraine just thinking about it Amelia: which would be about right when I haven't had as many lately Jac: alright, I get it Jac: massive pain in your 🤯 Jac: I'm glad you've got 'em a bit more under control though Amelia: I mean, you're not on my official triggers list technically Amelia: even if I was apparently always 😳 Jac: Yeah Jac: but that's easily dealt with Amelia: right Jac: better than an aspirin, anyway Amelia: true, I'm still shit at swallowing 💊s Jac: That gay Amelia: 😂 Jac: Might go to [this] hers Jac: they weren't that awful Amelia: and it's not that far if we decide to 🏃 away Jac: and her parents will only be down the pub or something 'til they call time, so no chance of it getting out of hand Amelia: my parents will be thrilled Jac: if you don't want them to join you on freshers Amelia: thank god she isn't reading over my shoulder right now, you'd have given her ideas Jac: no way she weren't already thinking of ways to 🔭 Amelia: one of many reasons I'd never go to Trinity Jac: Same Jac: can't imagine anything worse Amelia: UCC's website already makes the BOLD claim of being in the top 2% of universities in the world so obviously I have no need anyway Amelia: don't ask me how they worked out anything like that Amelia: 🤨 Jac: top 2% at what Jac: I love when they try to blind you with stats Jac: some of the websites are abhorent Amelia: Bath's would give me a migraine Amelia: because yeah I've looked at it Jac: don't remind me 💔 Amelia: I'll invite Delia to the party if you like, that'll make you feel loads better Jac: I AM thrilled that no one from school is going to st andys too Jac: 👀 anyone across campus, let alone her, nope Amelia: shit, now that you mention it, I really don't like my chances of not running into anyone quite as much Amelia: that'll be a great orientation depending who I get Jac: I think they're gonna announce it all at that ball thing they're doing Jac: if you're going to that Amelia: I probably have to now Amelia: to get a warning Amelia: 😬 Jac: just don't dramatically gasp or scream in horror Jac: the other person/people might be a bit offended Amelia: that'll be everyone else at me in a 👗 again Jac: okay, cinderella fantasy Amelia: thanks, yeah, I'm totally rocking some summer rags as we speak Amelia: I get it, if it's not chanel I might as well 🧹 the floor in it or with it Jac: at least you name isn't prefaced with ugly or evil Jac: r* Jac: 🐭🎃✨ Amelia: but I can't be leaving 👠 behind Jac: packing is so weird Jac: how do you even know how much to take Amelia: I just know I'm going to have to keep going back and forth because I haven't grabbed the right things Amelia: I don't envy you Jac: what are you doing for living your 1st year? Amelia: rooms are on a lottery so if I don't get one I'll have to stay here and 🚗 Jac: Oh Jac: that's tense Jac: I'll 🤞🤞 Amelia: scared as I am, I seriously don't want to live at 🏠 Amelia: what kind of fresh start is that? Jac: I agree, I mean, obviously Jac: I couldn't go much further Jac: you'd miss out if you had to commute, on all the student life Amelia: exactly, they also brag about having over 100 societies Jac: we love an option Jac: it'll be good Jac: even if you do 🚗 for a bit, you'll meet people you actually wanna share with later Amelia: 🤞🤞 Amelia: so are you going to the ball 👸? Jac: better than being stuck with total nightmare housemates Jac: I opted for a single room for that same reason Jac: only so nice I can be still Jac: I wanted to scream at Jude earlier but I had to just 🙂🙂 Jac: May as well, though everyone is pairing up and making that a thing, or going as a girly group and then that's another thing so Amelia: right? I've never even had to share a bathroom before, I'm too only child for this bullshit to be honest Jac: ^^ you wouldn't cope, soz Amelia: I'd rather sleep in my 🚗 than with nightmare housemates Amelia: fuck's sake, maybe I won't go to the ball and take my chances with whoever else is going to UCC Amelia: we probably won't ever run into each other anyway Jac: I saw Is and all her mates dress shopping in town the other day Amelia: did she see you? Jac: Thankfully not Jac: I was stocking up on some beauty essentials so I was far enough away for that convo not to happen Amelia: It's so weird to just see her around Amelia: she always looks good though Jac: Yeah Jac: she's gonna be really happy Jac: it's good Amelia: but it has made my mind up about not going, because there's no way I'm going dress shopping Amelia: and nothing online can be trusted Jac: We could've gone together Jac: pure solidarity thing, as we have no one else to go with Jac: apart from Jess Amelia: do you want to? Jac: I mean, yeah Jac: the last day was pretty anti-climatic Jac: at least this will feel like a proper goodbye Amelia: I'm aware I haven't really shone in this conversation so okay Jac: You don't have to Jac: but it could be alright, us three Jac: see it through to the end properly, you know Amelia: I want to though, when you put it like that Jac: Okay Jac: cool Jac: I'll tell Jess Jac: at least he has to have something approaching formalwear these days Amelia: maybe he'll let me borrow it Jac: the full 🤵🏻 moment Amelia: I guess, if it means I can escape the 🛍 moment Jac: you don't have ANYTHING? Amelia: no ?????? maybe ??????? Amelia: I don't know, it's not a house party Jac: 🙄😂 Jac: in fairness, every other bitch is finished by now Jac: so you aren't going to run into everyone Amelia: what are you planning on wearing? Jac: 🤔 Jac: I probably have options Jac: if I've worn it too recently is always the question Amelia: we're going shopping, aren't we? Jac: it sounds like we need to Amelia: alright Jac: When do you wanna go Jac: I've wrapped up work now so I'm pretty free most of the time Jac: when not packing, unpacking, repacking Amelia: tomorrow so I can change my mind AGAIN back to not going if all the 👗 suck Amelia: plus my mum is busy and can't gatecrash to volunteer any 'advice' Amelia: more importantly, where do we want to go? because I'll 🚗 Amelia: obviously you'll be wanting to look 🤑 Jac: I won't make you do Brown Thomas Jac: but could we do Powerscourt? Jac: 🥺 Amelia: you can't make me do anything anymore but because you've made such a convincing argument with 🥺 yeah we can Jac: Oh that's right Jac: we're both better people now Jac: I still love Powerscourt though Amelia: I don't want you to change everything about yourself, that's erasure not improvement Amelia: and I still love how your face lights up when you go there Jac: It is knowing which parts to cut off and which can be salvaged Jac: like 🌹 🥀 Jac: speaking of, the garden flower shop 😍😍 Amelia: like 🖌 too sometimes you want to leave the first brush strokes in and sometimes you don't Amelia: fine, I'll make you a corsage, don't feel like you have to 🥺 I've made a shit load of Christmas wreaths, it'll be a piece of cake Jac: exactly Jac: or what 🖌 stroke is going to be the one that's one too many Jac: or the painting that never seems quite finished Jac: by the way, if you do have to keep living here, please ensure my sister doesn't ruin my room Jac: there was talk of a mural Amelia: 😣 don't! I'm not going to miss any of those dilemmas when I have zero time for 🎨 Amelia: 😂 of course there was Amelia: Oh Jude Jac: Far too busy being Sherlock 🧐 Jac: I think she was just trying to get a rise out of me, so naturally I didn't give anything Jac: but God knows the eyesore I'll come back to Amelia: I'll find out if she was serious or not when I devote my time to spying on the state of your bedroom walls Jac: It can't all be murders at dinner parties Amelia: 💔 Amelia: now you tell me Amelia: I've been channelling Miss Marple all year for nothing Jac: 😅 Jac: she was a bad bitch Amelia: likewise 😎 that was the easy bit Jac: you're such a fool Jac: 😏 Amelia: you gave me another chance, I dread to think what it makes you Jac: what's it about beggars not having much option? Amelia: if you're financially fucked to that level we probably shouldn't go to Powerscourt Jac: Please, all I did was work this past year Jac: school and actual Jac: may as well blow some of it before I'm using it to eat rice every night at uni or whatever Amelia: stop flexing at me, thank you, I don't wish to see it Amelia: or you the return of my 😳 Jac: I don't know what you're talking about 💪 Jac: and I have fond memories of your 😳 too Amelia: past tense not present Amelia: 😎🍦 Jac: not even for old times sake then? Jac: 💔 Amelia: you can't even see me right now and if you're using your imagination there's loads of old times to remind yourself of Jac: but when I do Amelia: I couldn't possibly comment on tomorrow before it has happened Amelia: not a 🔮💎💫 gay, if you recall Jac: so sorry Jac: about your lack of powers Jac: be really good if being gay came with those kinda perks, tbh Amelia: very disappointing Jac: yeah, I'll bring it up with god when I get there, like Amelia: I'll bring it up with 👿 so all bases are covered Amelia: because I was a miracle and I squandered it, or whatever Jac: Hardly Jac: 1. your mum loves the gays and you having a baby will be such a trial she will live for the bonding 2. you've survived to go to uni that's like all they want Amelia: 🎺I feel so accomplished suddenly Jac: yeah, I know, making things sound as harsh as possible is my speciality Jac: but you actually should be Amelia: for what? Jac: Loads of things Jac: mainly getting on your course at the mo though, as that's all we can talk or think about Amelia: it's about picking the right subjects, that's all Amelia: like I said, school is boring but not hard 🧩 Jac: you still did that Jac: and that means you're smart Jac: or it would be both Amelia: you're the only one who didn't believe I had a plan or fuck to give about the future Jac: I was just trying to make sure you didn't give up Amelia: that went well Jac: yeah, I know Jac: okay, it was still rude to say, even if I had good intentions Amelia: you've been ruder, so have I Jac: I'm sure I don't even remember half the shit I said Jac: feel free to regale me with my worst hits if you wanna and I'll try not to kill myself, like Amelia: It's not as if I'd enjoy reliving it either Jac: it'd be alright if you did Amelia: not really Jac: I'm owed a lot worse than squirming for a bit from you Jac: but let's not then, unless you change your mind Jac: works for me Amelia: if I fancy 🎣 I know where you are Jac: I didn't take up old people hobbies too, I'm afraid Amelia: it'd be a bit rude to leave my dad entirely out Amelia: but actually his hobby is just sitting down in different places depending on the ☀☁🌧🌨 Jac: 😂 Jac: can think of worse Amelia: it's an easy one to take up when you get to Edinburgh so you're welcome for the great suggestion Jac: 🤞 there will be no time right Amelia: yeah, there is probably only so much distraction we can stand and we already got to the limit 🌠 Jac: I will have a garden though Jac: and there's the golf course Jac: those are old people adjacent Amelia: of course you'll have a garden Amelia: that's the biggest you incentive I've ever heard Jac: it sold the single bed over the double Jac: along with the more historic building Jac: was used to a single anyway before the basement Amelia: if you're desperate to stretch just go sleep in the 🌳🌼🌹🌷🌻 Jac: 😅 it's Edinburgh, not the Bahamas Amelia: obviously wear clothes Jac: I would manage that without your advice, thank you Jac: didn't go that mental post baby Amelia: I'll knit you a blanket and maybe some kind of onesie, it'll be fine Jac: just so dating really isn't an option 👌 Amelia: maybe if it's tartan the locals will be super into it Jac: nothing more endearing than a bit of mockery 💰🌈 Amelia: no 🌈 don't worry, I haven't fully transformed into my mother Jac: 😏 Amelia: at least you know you're getting a 🛏 Jac: yeah, that is shitty Jac: they famously charge more than any other uni for said rooms so Jac: there's that Amelia: 🤑 Jac: I'm gonna be broke forever 🎻 Amelia: until you straighten up and get that 🤴 Jac: at least some rich royal wannabe Amelia: I'll be a starving artist with no time to pick up a brush Jac: 🕵 Amelia: Miss Marple never solved student debt Amelia: I guess it's up to me Jac: she was a school of life type, aka totally unqualified, just nosy Amelia: and of 'independent means' aka 🤑💰💰 Jac: duh Jac: poor people weren't worth writing about Amelia: how would you know? you don't read any fiction Jac: exactly Jac: I've read the reports Amelia: because they can be trusted any more than the UCC website I'm sure Jac: data to back up the findings is key Jac: be interested to see UCCs Amelia: unlikely they have any Amelia: but I'll ask Jac: may as well get friendly with the staff Jac: start as you mean to go on Amelia: sweet of you to think about getting me a date Amelia: I don't think I'll start there though Jac: if you go for that cliche, like Jac: the fresh start thing we're doing might have to be reconsidered Amelia: I'm really cool with NOT Amelia: falling for your childhood best friend is enough of one Jac: you've read the books, I couldn't possibly comment Amelia: it's usually some 😎 new hs student which your parents have been there and done Jac: Yeah Jac: I don't think the hilarity of the situation escaped them Amelia: it's always really funny to hear about so clearly not Jac: yeah, from an outside POV Jac: having your parents live out a romcom just gives you unattainable and unrealistic expectations Jac: see Jude Amelia: okay, point taken Jac: now beyond unattainable for me Amelia: nothing's unattainable for you Jac: you're sweet Amelia: no, unlike Jude you set goals and work towards achieving them until you have Amelia: if there's something you want, you'll get there Jac: isn't ❤ meant to be beyond all that Jac: not something you can put in the diary or on a vision board, like Amelia: 😍 maybe Amelia: but love takes effort Jac: I don't know Jac: if I'll ever be ready Jac: so for now, it can take a backseat and that's fine Amelia: yeah, I feel the same way Jac: 🕮 Amelia: 🤓 Jac: *🤓🤓 Amelia: when I wear my glasses it's really not that far off Jac: you look cute in your glasses Amelia: 🤥 you do Amelia: I look like a kids book character Jac: what's wrong with that? Amelia: I'm not trying to bring back 👧🏻 Jac: I liked your hair too Amelia: maybe you need new glasses Amelia: I am going to do something different with it for uni though, I just need to decide Jac: you could never take a compliment Jac: 🟥 🟧 🟨 🟩 🟦 🟪 ⬛️ ⬜️? Amelia: I'll pack them all up in my suitcase and take them to Cork in case I don't like it Jac: just don't start with red then Amelia: I'd never get that out Amelia: even more persistent than you with the compliments Jac: your mum would also think the breakdown had begun so Jac: wouldn't Amelia: she hasn't had me sectioned yet, assumedly it'll take more than rebel red or whatever they've called it Jac: 😂 Jac: you know it's someone like Delia coming up with these names Amelia: they should poach my mum off my dad's reception, she has A LOT to say about what 🧵🧶 colours are named Jac: a new career would keep her busy Jac: empty nest is real Amelia: I did consider getting her a pet but if it's too cute, I won't want to leave Jac: you're so soft Amelia: is that another compliment or an insult? Jac: it's an insult, don't worry Jac: no need for 😳 Amelia: okay Jac: she can have one of the dogs Jac: wouldn't miss the one Amelia: and expose my dad's fake allergy? he's worked so hard on that lie Jac: such a move Jac: suddenly LOVES animals now you're gone Jac: I would Amelia: 😣 Jac: maybe I can convince him Jac: add him to my list, like Amelia: because that doesn't sound like you're about to seduce my dad Jac: only so you can have a dog Jac: excuse you Amelia: I don't want one THAT badly Jac: and I don't want your dad at all, tah Amelia: if you did you'd have kissed him instead of Valentina during your attempt to ruin my life or whatever so yeah, I figured Jac: I forgot who that was Jac: even your girlfriend had an 👵 name Amelia: funnily enough that wasn't why I went out with her Jac: Sure Amelia: at least I know she isn't going to Cork or any uni Jac: Colour me surprised Jac: I remember her being stupid Amelia: you barely remembered her name, she didn't make a lasting impression, clearly Jac: duh Jac: wasn't 😍 Amelia: I know Jac: were you Amelia: all the things you could ask me and you go with one about her? Jac: I'm not on a limit of questions, am I? Amelia: I don't know what you're planning on doing later Jac: got that much to say? Amelia: did you want unlimited quick fire questions? Jac: you don't have to answer Jac: but you haven't Amelia: I wasn't 😍 Jac: okay Amelia: it was just uncomplicated Jac: she was Jac: I get it Amelia: because she was blatant about what she wanted and why Jac: yeah Jac: that's what you needed at the time Amelia: no it wasn't Jac: wanted then Amelia: it was a bad idea in a long line of Amelia: the first distraction Jac: it was a better idea than the alternative at the time Amelia: the alternative was being single so no, that would've been a way smarter move Jac: I meant what I started that night Amelia: well yeah, but we're talking about my decisions and I wasn't going to do that Jac: that would've been too smart, I suppose Amelia: me kissing whatever lad you were with at the time would have been literally the opposite of smart Jac: that's not what I mean Amelia: I know what you mean Jac: it's not blame Jac: it would've been smarter for us all Amelia: yeah Jac: alas Amelia: 💔 Jac: you're alright now Jac: pretty sure you led with that Amelia: I wasn't going to lead with the alternative Jac: yeah Jac: Jude did the same Jac: totally thriving, not at all bullshitting Amelia: Oh great, it's been ages since you compared me to your sister, I've really missed it Jac: I can't help it if your approaches are similar and as blatant to see right through Jac: get better Jac: 😉 Amelia: it was your choice to bring it up to annoy me, which you could easily do better at Jac: well I'm not used to being nice Jac: it'll take me a while to be really good at it Amelia: I'm not used to you giving me a sober compliment, we're both trying new things here Jac: I complimented you before Jac: you act like I never did when we were friends Amelia: forever ago then Amelia: when you were nice Jac: rude but fair Jac: I was never that nice, actually Amelia: I remember you being nice to me Jac: ha Jac: you admitted it Amelia: that you were nice to me when we were friends, yeah, it's right there Jac: mhmm Jac: I see it Amelia: if you're about to accuse me of bullshitting, go on Amelia: be brave Jac: why would I? Amelia: I don't know, to be annoying Jac: I'm not trying to be annoying Jac: so nah Amelia: okay Jac: I'm gonna go to that party Amelia: are you telling me because you want me there or as far away as possible? Jac: I'm just telling you because Jac: but no, if I see you there, I won't run Jac: but if you don't wanna see me, there's the warning Amelia: I'm seeing you tomorrow, just you Amelia: why would I need a warning for seeing you at a party Jac: Parties are a trigger Amelia: lots of things are Jac: it might be different Jac: in person Jac: and I've not been to a party since all I did at parties was get blackout at them and not remember much of the rest so Amelia: I won't go if it's going to make it harder for you Jac: no, that's not Jac: I don't even know if I should Jac: like you said, I can't not join in at Uni, that's not what I want Amelia: you have to start somewhere Amelia: and Jess would go with you if you want moral support from someone who isn't me Amelia: because I'm well aware I've never been great at it Jac: people from school SHOULDN'T fawn after him Jac: the whole playing it cool, knew you before you blew up, moment of it all Jac: but still Amelia: yeah, there's probably a lot of things people from school shouldn't do, but that's a different conversation Amelia: and a long one Jac: maybe I can't be bothered Jac: none of the people will be at uni, that'll take away the need to get completely trashed Amelia: right Jac: fuck it Jac: you go Jac: I'll stay home and knit instead Amelia: 😂 Jac: how hard can it be Amelia: you'll see Jac: judgmental 👵 Amelia: a rare 👵 who is willing to let you make up your own mind Jac: alright ✌🌍❤🕊 Amelia: shut up Jac: you'reso woke Jac: 😂 Amelia: I don't know how well you'll knit, that's all Jac: I don't knit Amelia: not yet Jac: your ma has brainwashed you a bit Amelia: that's why I'm going to the party Amelia: to break her control Jac: 👏 Amelia: alright, no need to take the piss Jac: I'm not Amelia: it's a small and bound to be disappointing step, I know Jac: little bit Amelia: but I don't know where else to start so Jac: it's a good idea Amelia: then why doesn't it feel like one? Jac: how was the last one you went to? Amelia: depressing Jac: that's normal, isn't it Jac: parties are Jac: you reckon you're meant to be having the best time ever and you ain't, that's the mood Amelia: it's lonely Jac: yep Amelia: but anyway Jac: we're both totally fine 👌 Amelia: of course Jac: tomorrow though Amelia: send me a message when you're ready to get picked up or something Jac: Sure thing Jac: See you then Amelia: okay Amelia: 👋

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scandalsavagefanfic · 5 years

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So, I was reading through a few panels of a comic in which Tim kicks Jason in the balls and I got a little upset that both Tim and Dick were smirking over it as they walked away leaving Jason clutching his nuts on the roof. I am not 100% everything that was going on (seemed like something to do with Bruce's death?), but Donna had just said that she didn't believe Jason did whatever they were accusing him of at the time because he should sadness over it? In some ways it seem a little out of line.

2/2 I mean, I can get why Tim might have done it, since Jason did try to kill him, but for Dick, for all I hear that he has tried to ‘redeem’ and ‘fix’ Jason, it felt weird that he showed no sympathy. They both looked like they were just flying off the rails and accusing Jason of doing whatever it was because it was the easy option and they wanted to vent their frustrations? Do you know if this is a result of Batman dying? Did Donna stick up for Jason because they had already teamed up at this point?

They’re talking about the murder of Duela Dent. I’ll get into it in a sec.

I am also not a fan of how that went down but less for the fact of Tim kicking Jason in the nuts and more that he freaking crosses the roof to Jason head on, and takes a big ol’ kick that any Bat would see coming from the 100 feet away Tim was.

You’re absolutely right, Tim and Dick are written really bad here. This is before Jason tried to kill Tim in Battle for the Cowl and, despite what many people think, he didn’t try to kill him when he broke into Titan’s Tower. At this point, they’ve been building Jason up for redemption. Both Dick and Tim come off unbearably petty (especially Tim) and they jump to some crazy conclusions with practically no information. Jason, on the other hand, comes off fine (other than any newbie Bat would be able to avoid that kick).

Anywho, here’s how all that went down.

Countdown to Final Crisis (which, as the name suggests, started at 51 and counted down to 1), began with the death of Duela Dent, a.k.a. The Joker’s Daughter. She tried to kidnap a celebrity and was stopped by Jason:

(Countdown #51)

When he hears her fighting he runs off and tries to save her. With notable lack of resistance from the police despite ostensibly still being a wanted criminal (?)

(Countdown #51)

Then Superman helps Jimmy Olsen track Jason down to get the story of what happened. You may have seen this first panel on Tumblr lately (it’s come across my dash a couple times lately). I can’t include it because Tumblr is telling me I can only put ten images in a post and this one doesn’t make the cut. But it’s the one where Jimmy says “That was impressive mister Todd.” (Countdown #50)

And THEN, the Titans attend Duela’s funeral because she was a Titan for a minute and Donna runs into Jason. He tells her the story of how the monitor killed Duela and he felt terrible when he wasn’t able to save her (which is nicely depicted in the above panel where he’s holding her). Jason and Donna have a really nice moment and it sets up their teamup for the rest of the series.

(Countdown 48)

Now that brings us to Teen Titans #47. The Titans are investigating Duela’s death and they’re interviewing the celebrity she tried to kidnapp. Literally all the girl says is “…she dropped me, some guy in a red hood showed up, I woke up with the cops…”

Literally. That’s it. That is what Dick and Tim base everything off. They don’t ask for any clarification, don’t ask anything deeper.

Lol, Tim. Rose is gonna have a good time ;)

Side Note: I like the juxtaposition of the girls in the background of that second panel, calmly walking forward suggesting that Dick and Tim barreled in like hotheads and all three boys are physically fighting when they could have just had a conversation, even if it was tense.

Look at Rose. She’s a blessing. She needs to be in more things. I just adore her. And I ship her with Jason so hard. So hard, guys. And it’s almost entirely because of this scene and they don’t even really talk.

Some context, I forgot earlier. This is very soon after Jason dressing up as Nightwing and fucking with Dick in New York but I actually thought that ended kind of amicably (again, crappy memory so I could be way off) so the venom here feels a tiny bit forced. Tim still has a pretty good reason to be pissed. Even if Jason wasn’t trying to kill him, he did beat the shit out of him.

Donna defends Jason because of their conversation at the cemetery in Countdown which is the beginning of their team up AND because she’s open to the idea that people can change.

(Teen Titans #47)

That, and the fact that they allowed Jason to punch them both off of him a page earlier, is probably why they give Tim this. And I’d have been cool with it if it had been better. My problem is, the way it’s written. I don’t feel like Dick’s and Tim’s actions are validated. I’m not cheering for them. I just think they look bad here. They’re smarter than this. And Tim isn’t this jealous and petty. I do think Jason is dumb with his last line though, even if the way the Titans went about confronting him this aggressively on so little information does actually seem like an excuse to pick a fight.

But look at that panel with Rose and Jason. Just look at it and tell me they’re not perfect.

So I hope this exceptionally long response actually answered your ask. I got very excited and maybe a little carried away :D

#Jason Todd #donna troy #countdown #Teen Titans #Tim Drake #dick grayson #Rose Wilson #cassie sandsmark #batfamily drama #ask #openthingsatrandom

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gintamajustaway · 6 years

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With the insurgency of antis in the past few years and the new found strength of the puritan culture and censorship... How are you doing Aero? I feel so discouraged to write anything now... Being called a pe/do and ince/st apologist and being harassed non stop it's a bit too much for me... Wishing you all the luck with your writing

I’m great, actually! I’ve been super busy with work, writing, and uni, but I just got this incredible new job that I’ll start in a couple weeks and I’m so happy I could burst! I’ll be even busier for a bit because I’ll be moving and so I have to pack all my stuff, solidify a new place, and move in while staying on top of my writing and uni. It’s going to be a challenge, but I’m up to the task! My writing is going great as well, but it’s kind of taking a backseat to this truly amazing new job opportunity! Thanks so much for asking and I’m sorry it took me a couple days to respond, I’m just balancing more than usual at the moment. I’m also going to put something extra for you beneath the cut and it’s going to get a little long, which I’m sorry for.

So... you seem really, really down and I’m sorry you feel that way. It’s no fun being harassed, I would know considering I’ve had a stalker for years now, but also... so what? Do you really care that much about what some stranger on the internet thinks? I know that sounds harsh, but please try to see things from my perspective. Why do you think such toxic people like tumblr so much? It’s because this site is the easiest one to hide themselves while they go around policing people. They can hide on anon or hide behind a URL, that’s why so many have flocked to this site. And the people who do things like that... just think about what kind of people they are. Like, these people are the ones that are so unhappy with their own lives and living situations that their only outlet is to hyper-focus on fictional characters and harass people online about it. That’s so sad LOLOL My stalker is well known because she harasses so many people and the more I found out about her through others, the more I began to understand that her life online is all she has. It’s why nothing she says about me or does to me matters. She’s obsessed with me, sure, but she also has nothing going for her and this is her way of coping with that. It’s not right or healthy by any means, but this is why you shouldn’t let the behaviors of others get to you. And that’s something you really have to consider, too. Why do people behave the way they do? Maybe they’re living at home with their parents because they have no other options and they hate that, maybe they hate their job, maybe they’re being bullied at school or work -- these factors do not excuse someone going around harassing people online, but it can give a little context to the situation.

You are only in control of yourself. How you react to something, how you deal with things, that’s all in your hands. Remember that these people aren’t attacking you because they hate you. They don’t know you at all and guess what: they don’t care who you are. They’re just trying to give themselves validation and on a site like this, the easiest way for them to pretend that they’re doing something “productive” is to stalk and harass people whose opinions differ from their own. And if you step back and look at all this from the perspective of someone that isn’t on a site like this, the whole situation is so fucking stupid. People getting upset because some faceless nobody said some mean things. In the grand scheme of life, shit like this just does not matter.

My suggestion to you is to get off this site and go find something better to do with yourself. Get involved in a club or take up something recreational/creative like drawing or writing or scrapbooking. Go do things that mean something to you and forget about all the nonsense happening on this site. And if you still want to stay on here, then stay! Block/blacklist the people being mean and forget about them because they can’t actually hurt you unless you let them. Like, I enjoy this site from time to time and so still pop on here, but it’s a fun and positive experience for me. If it’s anything other than that for you, then don’t stay here. You’re in control of your situation and I can promise you that it’s a waste of time and energy to give any value to what some random stranger thinks of you on this hellhole of a site.

So... yeah, that’s all I’ve got. Do not take people that project so hard onto fictional characters seriously. The people who do that are often in a really bad personal situation and it’s not your job or obligation to give their toxic coping mechanisms a second thought. Do what makes you happy. Be kind to others, work to improve yourself everyday, and smile because you deserve to be happy.

#anon #long post

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you-can-write-this · 6 years

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How to Construct a Villain

Make sure that your villain does what she does for a reason!! You can do more than “bad for the sake of being bad.” You can connect to that character!! I believe in you!!

Here’s a list of villainous motivations and how to write them!

Selfishness - In the real world, this is probably the most common motivator for so-called “villains.” The selfish villain feels threatened and acts in self-preservation; this may be preservation of her life, of her pride, of her belongings, etc.

Reasonable variant: The reasonably selfish villain sees an actual, real threat and evades it, screwing everyone over in the process. This villain is sacrificing others in order to survive. She may appear impulsive and afraid, or thoughtful, patient, and furious. Whatever helps her sleep at night.

Unreasonable variant: The unreasonably selfish villain imagines a threat which is not there. She acts in self-preservation when she or her possessions are not in danger; maybe she thinks that innocent black kid in a hoodie is going to kill her. Greed also goes under this category; she sees anyone who takes potential money from her as a threat. She’s creating a narrative which is completely unreal, and responding to it accordingly.

Don’t make greedy characters into hateful people. Hatred does not drive greed. Self-preservation mixed with an inflated importance towards money is what creates greed. She wants more for herself, not less for others. Greedy people don’t kick puppies, spit on children, or for that matter, rub their hands together devilishly.

Don’t think of your villain as selfish in all ways, at all times. Your villain is committing a selfish act (or promoting a selfish idea), but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t take care of her family.

Don’t have her act “maniacally.” She believes she’s doing something perfectly normal in her selfish act: protecting herself. Otherwise, she’s guilty-- all the more reason to not be maniacal.

“Protecting her own” sub-variant: The very most selfish people have trouble promoting their values, because nobody gains anything from Mrs. “I come first, so fuck you.” Group selfishness is far more dangerous: people can become allies under selfishness. Consider fascism, as well as other forms of aggressive group hatred. Her selfishness extends to a group beyond herself, but not infinitely. Maybe she wants to protect her friends. A man “protecting his family” can do some weird shit.

Revenge/“giving them what they deserve” - Some villains are motivated by hatred, anger, or spite. Villains who want revenge see the hero (or victim) as the embodiment of a trauma. A villain who “gives them what they deserve” hates the hero (or victim) for some other reason; it could be personality, minority status, or anything else.

Don’t rely heavily upon monologues or flashbacks. A monologuing villain is a sign of an overcomplicated motivation. Like jokes, the best motivations need not be explained.

Reasonable variant: Some villains seek revenge for a genuinely atrocious act. This puts the hero (or victim) in a shade of moral gray, and your audience will be absolutely intrigued and elated.

Unreasonable variant: More often, villains want revenge because of some unintentional or insignificant slight committed by the hero; the hero accidentally slipped the villain’s secret, and all of a sudden the villain is out to kill. This puts the hero in the moral clear, while still allowing the villain some believability. But the reasonable variant is far easier to justify than the unreasonable variant.

Don’t make the slight too small. You won’t make the villain seem more intense; you’ll make the villain seem ridiculous.

Destruction out of sadness - Some destructive behavior comes from deep feelings of emptiness. Think of your villain’s foul action towards others as a sort of suicide; instead of destroying herself, she destroys whatever she can find. She may consider her feelings to be sadness, but she may also consider this boredom (either conclusion is valid from the observation “nothing makes me happy and I don’t feel anything”). She may have a very clear and concise excuse for why she’s targeting something/someone, but the true answer, as you the writer know, is destruction out of sadness.

Don’t just blame mental illness. Mental illness can be aggravate destructive thoughts or feelings, but mental illness on its own does not cause destruction. A person with a particular disposition may react to mental illness in an unhealthy fashion (e.g. depression causes empty feelings, but most people do not respond to these feelings by destroying things). It is the unhealthy reaction which causes destruction.

Don’t make these characters stoical as they act. These characters usually appear intensely emotional, and are filled with a great desire to feel something; anything.

“Giving up” variant: When plunged into a depressive state, your villain no longer finds joy in those things held dear. She has probably lost her previous motivation (e.g. the person she tried to save has died), and with all hope lost, and nothing good to do, she only has bad to do on her radar. She will probably have an excuse, a story in her head, about why her actions are suddenly destructive (e.g. “it’s your fault she’s dead”).

“Always empty” variant: Rather than giving up, maybe your villain never had hope in the first place. Maybe she has always been building up to this level of destruction.

Don’t rely on flashbacks to illustrate that she’s always been this way. You should have an idea of how long this destructive pattern has lasted, but the audience doesn’t need to know that. Other characters also don’t have to explain how long she’s always been this way.

Because she can get away with it - Some people want to see the world burn just because it’s not supposed to. They’re told not to do something, and when you look away, they will absolutely do it, just for the sake of it. This is actually far more common than you might think-- package thieves, shoplifters, and even serial killers usually feel powerful by existing above the law. This is often an extension of destruction out of sadness; characters who feel empty unconsciously seek a thrill through rule-breaking. To consider more believable thrill-seeking villains, I recommend this brief video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyszHongpf0

Don’t make thrill-seekers out of those comfortably in power. The “because she can get away with it” motivation relies upon a desire to break rules, not to make rules. I’m calling out Hunger Games (as fun as that series is). No thrill-seeker wants to see suffering unless it’s taboo and they’re curious. (Hint: Most Roman colosseum fights portrayed in fiction are historically inaccurate.) If your police officer villain is abusive on the job, unless she’s doing something that could threaten her employment, it’s probably not for the thrill. She has something else going on. She might be trying to demonstrate her power above others out of insecurity, so try "selfishness” (at the top of this post).

By accident - Villains who commit foul acts accidentally are potential heroes with bad luck; the most tragic villains. Your villain might have been on drugs, or maybe there was an element of miscommunication. Fantastical elements, like transformations, create most accidental villains. Regardless, your villain is probably not in the ethical clear. Why was she on such dangerous drugs? Why would she do something so extreme just because of a rumor?

Don’t assume that your villain deserves forgiveness. Many fantastical romance stories forgive villains too quickly. Be careful not to structure your story around the assumption that the accidental villain just needs help or love; on drugs or not, we cannot just pretend that she didn’t kill a man. The bigger the rule broken by your villain, the harder it will be to forgive your villain (e.g. any form of killing in a society like ours should be near-impossible to forgive). The logic of fault is irrelevant; it’s about the emotional trauma or shock, which your characters should not forget easily. If you frame your accidental villain as forgivable, your audience may stop suspending their disbelief.

Don’t just blame mental illness. Mental illness is not like mind control. It does not take over a person’s being to have her commit a certain act. A person with a particular disposition may react to mental illness in an unhealthy fashion (e.g. depression causes empty feelings, but most people do not respond to these feelings by destroying things). It is the unhealthy reaction which causes destruction. Although mental illness can coincide with many motivations, the accidental villain cannot be caused by mental illness.

Differing morals - If used alone, this is probably the easiest motivation to justify. Your villain believes herself to be acting ethically, and she has a genuine argument against the actions and beliefs of your protagonist. Your story may argue against the villain’s beliefs, or it may play around with her philosophy. This motivation can also be layered onto any of the above motivations.

Don’t make her dialogue smug in regards to her philosophy (e.g. “Oh, but don’t you know? So-and-so-a-moral was the true meaning all along.”) This is a cliche, and will also put her in constant danger of info-dumping her relevant ideas and character traits via monologue. If she wants to convince the protagonist of her beliefs, have them argue back and forth. Don’t let her dominate the conversation.

Don’t assign her a moral which is too obviously immoral. If your villain represents the ethical implications of white supremacy, readers may feel patronized or bored by constant arguments of “racism is bad.” Just about everyone theoretically agrees that racism is bad. If you argue against a popular moral stance, or debate something morally non-obvious, readers will feel a lot more respected.

She “had to do it” - Many villains do not consider themselves powerful agents of their own making, but rather, slaves to a cause. Sometimes the most dangerous person around is an underling or a follower. She may be loyal to a specific person, alive or dead, or maybe she works to put the words of a god/s in motion. She may understand this person/cause as intended, or she may be misunderstanding it completely.

#writing tips #writeblr #writing inspiration #writing help

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celebrityvictim · 6 years

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sidney prescott and billy loomis, or: abusive relationships for dummies

no, but seriously: nothing about sidney and billy’s relationship is healthy. when you deconstruct the timeline of scream, and take into account the details roman gives sidney and the audience in scream 3 (most notably, that he showed billy a video of maureen and hank slinking off together and gave him the idea to murder maureen as a revenge plot), you can quickly figure out that for the majority of sidney and billy’s relationship (if not the whole thing), billy was planning to murder maureen. and leading up to maureen’s murder, sidney didn’t have a clue.

in the first movie (and hell, the first scene with sidney and billy), billy describes the early stages of their relationship as “hot and heavy,” implying to the audience that sidney wasn’t shy with her affection, wasn’t afraid to be alone with billy in her room, and was open to the idea of sleeping with him, perhaps after she had been dating him for an “appropriate” length of time (i.e., the prom night cliché). this is cut abruptly when her mother is murdered. keep in mind, sidney is the one who found the body. sidney is the one who reported it to police. sidney is the one who had to testify in court, recount the details of that night, relive the details of her mother being what the media describes, in canon, as being “savagely raped and tortured.” because her mother died in such a violent way, and because she was the one who had to witness and report it and live through the trial and deal with the subsequent impact of the media, she becomes numb. she’s not the same person she was before. while she didn’t personally experience what her mother did, she’s still a victim—the loss of a parent is a heavy one to cope with, and it’s not something you really ever get over, especially when you’re close to them. i like to think that because neil travels a lot for business, sidney was always close with maureen, but that’s another post for another time.

sidney falls into depression following her mother’s death, and fortunately, she has a strong support system around her; however, it’s clear during the movie that billy’s been a little wishy-washy with that support. while he, at first, does seem like a caring boyfriend ( “i wouldn’t dream of breaking your underwear rule” ), on further observation there’s plenty of indication that he’s carefully manipulating sidney. when he sneaks into her bedroom, she tells him he needs to leave. instead of leaving, he launches into that infamous exorcist speech, which lends itself to talking about how sidney was before her mother’s death. how she was more open and carefree and basically, how they made out more, and now she’s not doing that as much, and *straight white boy voice* it sucks. she teases him, albeit a little indignantly, about how he thought he’d sneak in and they’d just go at it, and he brings up how he’d never dream of breaking her “underwear rule”—this indicates that similar situations have happened before, to a point where sidney’s had to lay out specific boundaries and give it all a name so she can drop it whenever billy’s pushing her past her boundaries, or when she’s just uncomfortable with something and wants to stop. and sidney sheepishly gives an “okay,” which is closer to sounding “worn down” than enthusiastic consent. they make out a bit on her bed, and the second billy slides a hand up under her nightgown, she pushes him off of her, teasing him about it, pretty much gently trying to ease him off of her and out of her room because she was already not completely comfortable with it, but she doesn’t want to make him mad. they exchange a few lines, sidney stresses how she “appreciates the romantic gesture” ( again, likely doesn’t want him to be upset, because subconsciously she’s more concerned about sparing his feelings than actively claiming her own boundaries ). billy flat-out says “about the no sex thing, i was only half-serious.”—this is such a shitty thing to say to somebody, not only because it’s guilt-trippy as hell, but it’s extremely manipulative. he’s basically dangling it over her head, as if to say he’s been patient with her for a year now, but he’s getting tired of waiting around for her to get over her personal shit, i.e. give me what i want or i’m going to leave you. sidney responds to the above…. rather well, asking if he’d settle for a pg-13 relationship before flashing him. he finally leaves, and sidney goes from grinning and giggling, to this:

she’s not happy. she feels disconnected, she feels sad. she wasn’t comfortable with the situation, but she went through with it anyway, because she felt an obligation to. here’s your boyfriend, who drove all the way out to you, who is reminding you about how you two used to be, and he’s been so patient, so what’s a little kiss? what’s a little tongue? what’s a little touching? give a little, it’ll be fine. swallow that discomfort, it’s only getting in the way.

the next example we get of this is two days later, after the news about casey and steve’s deaths break, and sidney’s attacked in her home, and billy’s held in the sheriff’s station overnight because he’s the prime suspect. when sidney finds out from stu that billy was released, her first instinct is to ask him if he was pissed off at her. stu carefully throws out that he’s heartbroken because she didn’t trust him. sidney ends up tearing down the hallway a minute later because of a student running through the hall in a ghostface costume as a prank, and she bumps into billy.

the conversation’s awkward. sidney’s quick to try and clear the air, letting billy know sheknows he’s not the killer, because the killer called her while he was in jail, and billy guilt trips her, again.

“please try to understand—” “understand what? that my girlfriend would rather accuse me of being a psychopathic killer than touch me?”

he’s quick to go for the jugular with gaslighting techniques. sidney points out that she was attacked and almost killed, and billy immediately points to how sidney hasn’t been the same since her mother died. sidney’s affronted by this, pointing out that her mother wasmurdereda year ago, almost to the day, to which billy pretty much tells her she needs to get over it because “i want my girlfriend back.” and understandably, sidney’s upset by this, and she runs off.

( while this doesn’t apply to billy specifically, it’s important to note that sidney overhears two girls in the bathroom talking about her mother, and how she was a “tramp,” and how sidney’s possibly just like her in that respect. this ties in with the rumors gale weathers has been spreading about cotton being innocent and simply a lover of maureen’s. when sidney and tatum are talking on the porch later that afternoon, tatum also brings up the rumors of maureen having affairs with other men, citing that because sidney’s father was always out of town, it was possible that maureen was an unhappy woman. this becomes important at the end of the second act, when sidney ends up sleeping with billy. )

later that evening, sidney and tatum go to the party at stu’s house. right when sidney’s looking for tatum so they can leave, billy shows up, and they end up going up to stu’s parents’ room to talk.

sidney immediately starts taking blame for everything, saying she’s been “self-absorbed with all this post-traumatic stress,” and pinning her victim complex entirely on herself. billy’s burrowed deep in her head and managed to warp her perception to where she feels like she’s at fault for her relationship being stale, and that her depression and PTSD surrounding her mother’s death is no excuse for her to put up barriers so she can be comfortable in her relationship while she mourns. she’s hoping that cotton weary’s death sentence will bring her closure; and yet with the possibility that she was wrong and the killer might still be out there hanging over her head, she’s not entirely sure she’s ever going to get that closure, so she needs her support system: and while billy hasn’t been supportive of her, and has been more concerned with himself and his needs, she can’t see that. all she can see is that he’s put up with her for a year, and that if she doesn’t give him sex soon, he’s going to leave. she’s lost her mother and her entire world’s pretty much changed for the worse; she doesn’t want to lose relationships she values, and she doesn’t want to lose billy. part of her is afraid to because she doesn’t know if she’ll ever find anyone who will “deal” with her hang-ups like billy has. she’s insecure in that respect, so she gives billy sex because she sees it as the only way she’ll be able to keep him around, and she’s so desperate to maintain that relationship. she no longer sees the validity in her emotions and her limitations because billy’s warped it all to where she thinks she’s being unreasonable and selfish, when it’s the opposite. billy feels like he won’t be able to properly kill sidney unless she’s no longer pure and virginal. what he doesn’t see is that she’s already a victim of trauma, and that’s what ultimately aids her survival in the end.

#ii. character study. — headcanon.#abuse mention #coercion mention #abuse tw #coercion tw #old post but still relevant

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celebrityvictim-a-blog · 6 years

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sidney prescott and billy loomis, or: abusive relationships for dummies

“please try to understand—” “understand what? that my girlfriend would rather accuse me of being a psychopathic killer than touch me?”

he’s quick to go for the jugular with gaslighting techniques. sidney points out that she was attacked and almost killed, and billy immediately points to how sidney hasn’t been the same since her mother died. sidney’s affronted by this, pointing out that her mother wasmurdered a year ago, almost to the day, to which billy pretty much tells her she needs to get over it because “i want my girlfriend back.” and understandably, sidney’s upset by this, and she runs off.

#﹙ headcanon . ﹚ * CHARACTER STUDY .#abuse mention #coercion mention

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stirringwinds · 7 years

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i seriously don’t get people saying gun regulations don’t work. like, u can argue about the precise points and practicalities, because it’s true u have to adapt laws to different context. but acting like it’ll never work is just divorced from reality. they’ve been proven to work in pretty much every other wealthy country in the world. no other wealthy country, whether you’re talking about japan or canada or the uk or australia has mass shootings with such regularity. the notion that this is something everyone has to live with is simply false and if people believe it, i find it sad. i don’t even mean prohibition. regulations like universal background checks, medical screenings, compulsory safety tests akin to getting your driver’s licence, requiring all sales to be registered etc are already employed in other countries where guns are treated similarly to cars. the united states isn’t the only wealthy country where civilians can purchase firearms, but it’s the only wealthy country where we keep hearing of some sick person shooting dozens of innocent people with a weapon they easily acquired over and over. the notion that ‘bad people will always find a way to do evil’ is such a tired canard. of course they will but why make it easy for them? make it difficult so they’ll give up, or even if they try, be caught before they can carry it out. or if they do, that they’re not able to hurt as many people. the brave parkland kids have it exactly right.

in the aftermath of the westminster and london bridge attacks; i received a lot of kind messages from americans and other ppl around the world. but there were some americans whose immediate response was to say ‘this is what happens when you don’t allow people to have guns’. back then i was annoyed and angry, now i just find it sad. that these people didn’t realise the uk has a much lower homicide rate than the us. that in the uk and many other countries, kids have never done a live shooter drill in school because it’s not necessary (after 17 ppl including children were killed by a gunman at dunblane primary school, the country said No More, and changed the law). they didn’t seem to realise the london bridge and westminster terrorists were armed with knives because they couldn’t obtain military rifles, which made it all that easier for the police to immediately stop them. no regulation is 100% effective but it’s worth trying! heck, in response to parkland, i saw somebody argue that gun regulations in the uk didn’t work because there were still terrorist bombings. which is...not the point. and even if it was the point, the govt actually responded by regulating the sale of fertilisers with ammonium nitrate, which the IRA and Al-Qaeda were using as a bombmaking ingredient. the effort to fight terrorism isn’t just the police shooting terrorists during attacks but also deradicalisation programmes, counselling at-risk youth and making it hard for them to get their hands on bombs and guns. so, the insanity of how some people say ‘bad people will find a way’ as an excuse to do nothing at all to separate these people from deadly weapons is just mind-boggling.

i’m not an american but i’m just not here for americans brushing off other americans trying to bring in valid examples of how other countries have successfully ended mass shootings. because they’re right. school shootings aren’t a uniquely american phenomenon; that they have been allowed to continue like this however, unique amongst other wealthy countries. mental illness, crime, poverty, violent video games, gangs and shit aren’t unique to the united states. but this cruelty doesn’t happen over and over in other wealthy countries. so people who say no law can fix this? codswallop. to me, if this is about freedom, freedom isn’t just freedom to do something. it’s also about freedom from the worst ills of the world. that kids in the world’s most powerful country aren’t free from being shot dead in their classrooms just makes me sad.

#longass incoherent rant #babbling #like seriously im just annoyed by people bringing in terrorist attacks my friends and i had to deal with to bolster false narratives #yeah...countries with gun control in europe do have terrorism #but it doesn't mean gun regulations can't ever work #gun violence #death mention #parkland #im sick of people claiming other countries we live in are just as dangerous to justify inaction because that's a lie

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blankdblank · 7 years

Photo

2 “Can I buy you a drink?”

5 “If I go through with this, I die. If I don’t, we all die.”

7 “Is that blood?” “No?” “That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question.”

8 “This is all your fault.” “I hope so.”

9 “I’d rather be pecked to death by a flock of hummingbirds.”

11 “Hold on, you died.” “Yeah, well it didn’t stick.”

12 “Excuse me! I was a superhero for ten whole minutes!” “And in that time you got kidnapped and we had to come to the rescue”

13 “I am way too sober for this.”

14 “You’re not as evil as people think you are.” “No. I’m much worse.”

15 “Why do you keep risking your life? To prove a point?” “Yes.”

17 “This plan of yours is going to get us killed. Of course, I’m in.”

19 “Stop that!” “Stop what?” “Doing that thing with your face when you’re happy. It’s making me nauseous.”

20 “You can’t just turn into a bat and fly away when you don’t want to deal with things!” “Watch me!”

21 “Wait, you’re a superhero?” “How do you not know? My face is literally on the news on a weekly basis.” “I’m in grad school. I won’t have time to follow popular media until I finish my thesis. You’re lucky I’ve carved out some non-existent free time to date you.”

22 “I’m just really tired of watching you get thrown off the tops of buildings”

23 “Whether you believe in me or not, I will continue to exist.”

24 “I don’t care where I sleep, as long as it’s with you.”

25 “You’re a psychopath.” “I prefer creative.”

27 “I want to go home.” “And I want to go to the moon. It ain’t happening sweetheart. Time to accept that.”

30 “Nope. I can’t go to hell. Satan still has a restraining order against me.”

31 “Well, what can I say? I’m a badass.”

32 “Define normal.”

33 “Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”

34 “It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.”

35 “And you wonder why you’re still single.”

36 “Remind me to kill you. Please.”

37 “I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

38 “Were you dropped on your head?”

39 “She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.”

40 “She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.”

41 “My middle finger salutes you.”

42 “This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.”

43 “I don’t think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let’s be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.”

44 “I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.”

45 “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”

46 “Oh darling. Go buy a brain.”

47 “Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

48 “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

49 “All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.”

50 “I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

51 “Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

52 “What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

53 “I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

54 “I need therapy after this.”

55 “I’m not weird. I am limited edition.”

56 “I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.”

57 “I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.”

58 “If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.”

59 “You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?”

61 “I’d explain it to you, but you’re brain would explode.”

62 “Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.”

63 “I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.”

64 “Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!”

65 “Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

66 “Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!”

67 “The female of the species is more deadly than the male.”

68 “Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

69 “She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

70 “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”

71 “I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.”

72 “Go on, knock his teeth down his throat.”

73 “What’s the point in screaming? No one’s listening anyway.”

74 “I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.”

75 “So stick that in your juice box and suck it.”

76 “Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.”

77 “This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some… No. No, no, all bad.”

78 “A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.”

79 “Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.”

80 “I know you can’t kill anybody, ‘cause I can’t kill anybody.”

81 “You’re insane, but you might also be brilliant.”

82 “What you call insanity, I call inspiration.”

83 “Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

85 “Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.”

87 “You successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

88 “You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.”

89 “Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.”

90 “I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

92 “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.”

93 “I care so little, I almost passed out.”

95 “You’re so weird.” “You have no idea.”

96 “You haven’t even seen my bad side yet.”

97 “Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

98 “How’s life treating you?” “Like I ran over it’s dog.”

99 “Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.”

100 “Oh God, we’re not gonna have to hug or anything, are we.”

101 “I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. Give me a drink.”

103 “Have fun being a big deal.” “I will.”

105 “It’s called thinking. Go with it.”

106 “I made a new friend today.” “Real or imaginary?” “Imaginary.”

108 “I’m getting real bored and impatient. I don’t do bored and impatient.”

109 “The girl is strange no question.”

110 “Do us a favor… I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try no to do anything… stupid.”

111 “I know most people don’t like me; I don’t care, I don’t like most people.”

112 “You are a very strange person.” “Well, thanks for noticing.”

113 “I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… no.”

114 “I didn’t steal it. I permanently borrowed it.”

115 “I’m not shy. I’m just examining my prey.”

116 “If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs.”

117 “I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.”

118 “Are you crying? No, I’m impersonating a fountain.”

121 “I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

122 “I’m just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.”

123 “My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.”

124 “She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack.”

125 “And just like everything else we do around here, it’s about to get weirder.”

126 “Such big evil in such a little thing.”

127 “Why do I still like you, knowing you’re a total asshole?”

128 “What does not kill you will likely try again.”

129 “Oh honey, I would but… I don’t want to.”

130 “And hello to you too… little homewrecker.”

132 “I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.”

133 “What doesn’t kill me might make me kill you.”

134 “In another life, I think I was in a mental institution.”

135 “I’m not crazy. I’m just interesting.”

136 “Don’t make me pop your ten grand sand bags honey.”

137 “This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.”

138 “If you touch my food, I’ll have no choice but to hurt you.”

139 “I found this cat. It doesn’t matter how exactly I found it, but we’re keeping it.”

140 “When I was a child, I wanted to be a fire hydrant because I wanted to help people. Well, it was a real let down when my mother told me that being an inanimate object wasn’t a valid option.”

141 “There’s not a single day in my life when I haven’t been thoroughly humiliated and it’s too late to change now.”

142 “Unfortunately, my tears of joy and tears of sadness are not so easy to tell apart.”

143 “Sex dream? About you? Nah…it was about, uh, my uncle!”

144 “How did I break my leg? Well, it’s a long story.”

145 “The punch was out of love. For myself.”

146 “I can 100 percent fall down those stairs without getting hurt.”

147 “You act like I’ve never been lost in a foreign country before.”

148 “I always knew I’d be digging my own grave, I just never expected it would be digging a literal grave.”

149 “I did not eat the cookies. I’ve never even seen a cookie in my life.”

150 “Closets are my mortal enemy. And snakes.”

151 “I am wearing your clothes but not for the reason you think I am.”

152 “I’m trapped under the bed again.” “What do you mean ‘again’?”

153 “I shouldn’t have to tell you not to eat that.”

154 “I’m no longer permitted to enter the city zoo because I ‘allegedly’ don’t understand boundaries.”

155 “I didn’t eat your chocolate bar–Oh, I have chocolate on my face? In that case, it attacked me.”

156 “They told me not to take that selfie in the emergency room but now I have a great profile pic for Halloween!”

157 “I’m not saying I’d fight a child, I’m merely saying my legs are longer, my arms are stronger, and my brain is superior.”

158 “I’ve never been to Japan until today, but I have no idea how I got here.”

159 “We rock, paper, scissors-ed it and I played fire. I won in principle, but lost in morality.”

160 “Trains are fun until you’re fighting the conductor.”

161 “The first time I saw the ocean I cried, but that’s mostly because I was choking on seawater.”

162 “There is no sign in the library that says no birds so how was I to know.”

163 “The chokehold was out of love. Why can’t you see that?”

164 “I know the police.” “What? You know all the police?” “Well, it’s more like they know me.”

165 “I thought I could do parkour, nay, believed but my faith is weak and my body weaker.”

166 “I only got stuck in a baby swing once. The other two times I managed to get myself out before the fire department arrived.”

167 “Elbows and knees. That’s the fight club motto.” “No, it’s really not.”

168 “I don’t get lost. I take the long way.”

169 “There’s a snake in my boot. No, I’m serious. Why is there a snake in my boot?”

170 “My doctor told me chocolate syrup is not an actual beverage. The more you know, huh?”

171 “I don’t fall in love. I faceplant.”

172 “If you try to high five a police officer, they will taze you.”

173 “I can do the splits but not on purpose.”

174 “I am the ruler of pigeons now. I didn’t know I was even a candidate, but here we are.”

175 “To be fair, I’m surprised I didn’t break more fingers.”

176 “Who knew bear traps were that common?”

177 “I will run away with you.”

178 “I am never coming back.”

179 “I forget time and space when I’m with you.”

180 “I don’t belong in your universe.”

181 “I’m dynamite ready to explode.”

182 “I don’t know where you’ve gone. It’s like you aren’t here anymore.”

183 “We are in this together – for better or for worse, do you hear me? I’m not giving up that easily.”

184 “You don’t even have to hold me, and I still feel safe with you.”

187 “Everything you think I need isn’t what I need. What I need is you.”

188 “I always come back to you.”

189 “You have to keep fighting.”

191 “I’m begging you. Please.”

192 “I need you to let me all the way in.”

193 “This was all just a game to you… wasn’t it?”

194 “I will give you heaven and I will give you hell.”

195 “Please, be gentle with me. I’ll break if you aren’t careful enough.”

197 “I can assure you that you are safe here… with me.”

198 “It is my duty to take care of you, so stop forcing me away.”

199 “Never trust a man whose smile steals the breath right from your lungs.”

200 “Take it – I don’t care. Take it all!”

201 “I’ll feel much better if you let me walk you home.”

202 “You make me feel things that I’m not supposed to feel. Why? Why do you have this control over me? You’ve taken over most of my thoughts. It’s infuriating.”

203 “Would you look at that? Anger does fuel me.”

204 “I don’t even remember the last time I got a decent amount of sleep. I’m hallucinating things, I can’t focus for more than five minutes… I’m going crazy.”

205 “You were always beside me.”

206 “What happened to us? To you? I miss it.”

207 “There is no good in goodbye.”

208 “Say it again.”

209 “You look happy. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the reason for it.”

210 “Sometimes we get hurt and we just have to find a way to overcome it, and sometimes… sometimes it’s not enough to heal the wounds.”

211 “You’ll understand. You have to.”

212 “You lit a fire in my veins ever since the first time we held hands.”

213 “Don’t stop.”

215 “I don’t care! I don’t!”

216 “There are times I can drink the pain away, but this time it’s become impossible.”

217 “This pain… it’s still fresh. Give me time.”

218 “Your memory will burn like a fire.”

219 “It just keeps spreading and spreading and spreading and I can’t stop it.”

220 “I won’t ever forget you.”

221 “I think I’m losing myself, and I don’t know if I can ever come back from this.”

222 “I prefer being alone.”

223 “To see you smile, I would do anything.”

224 “If you’re reading this then that means… that means I didn’t make it. I’m sorry.”

225 “Fuck, I wish I could give you one more kiss, to feel your warmth, to see you smile… I miss you so much.”

226 “Don’t go too far, alright? I wanna be able to catch up to you, just give me time.”

227 “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.”

228 “You stood up for me.”

229 “You keep giving me excuses, what’s your problem?”

230 “Always be kind.”

231 “You’re so warm.”

232 “Oh my god! That was so not funny. These are fake tears, and that was sarcasm.”

234 “Daddy.”

235 “Run me over with your car.”

236 “Ew. Emotions.”

237 “I’m sorry, was I supposed to laugh?”

238 “Stab me. No, seriously. Stab me.”

239 “That’s so stupid. Please, do it again.”

240 “But I’m not her.”

241 “I need you to see yourself as I do.”

242 “Breathe.”

243 “What are you running from? Why are you so scared?”

244 “Let’s do something spontaneous!”

245 “I can still feel every little kiss you pressed to my cheek.”

247 “It’s feels like I’m suffocating.”

248 “This will be the last time you lie to me.”

249 “You know it’s not like that.”

251 “You’re never going to be the same after this.”

252 “I just think it’d be best if we never met.”

253 “I can’t believe you would even think to leave me like this.”

254 “You never loved me, did you?”

255 “It didn’t have to be like this, but now you’ve ruined everything.”

256 “I hope you’re happy.”

257 “If you had have kept your mouth shut, then he’d still- he’d still be here!”

258 “What did you want once this was all through? Tell me!”

259 “Now I have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Thanks, it means a lot.”

260 “You could’ve- could’ve stayed. You could’ve helped me fix things.”

261 “I knew she’d never change, she was too stubborn, too similar to me.”

262 “This isn’t going to be fixed. You’ve ruined this for good now.”

263 “I hope I’m not put in the same part of hell as you.”

264 “When did you think you could hurt me again? Today? Tomorrow?”

265 “You’re back in my life and I want to die again.”

266 “You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”

267 “I hope you got what you wanted.”

268 “You made me miserable and I still loved you.”

269 “When you die, I’ll be the first to dance on your grave.”

271 “If only you knew what you’d brought upon yourself.”

272 “We’re never going to have a happy ending, just remember that.”

273 “Everytime something goes well, I momentarily forget how much I despise you.”

274 “Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this.”

275 “There is nothing worse than seeing you get what you want.”

276 “Your mind must be a horrible place.”

277 “You can cut me, bruise me and skin me alive, but you will not take her from me.”

278 “How is it that we always end up in this predicament?”

279 “I want to wipe that grin of your face with my sword, but my mother taught me to play nicely.”

280 “Did anyone ever tell you how pathetic you are? It’s incredible how low my standards are for you.”

281 “Ah, well if you want them back alive, I suggest you lay down your own life.”

282 “Don’t be ‘smart’. The battlefield is no place for Math Scholars.”

283 “You shouldn’t have come. You can’t be-”

284 “Stop talking or tomorrow won’t come.”

285 “Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.”

286 “I shouldn’t care for your life, but I’m starting to and it’s becoming an inconvenience.”

287 “If you live to see her, please send my best regards and this box of her father’s ashes.”

288 “It would’ve been nice to get to know you better, but I’m afraid I don’t care.”

289 “I can’t help but think you’re a terrible person.”

290 “Seeing your face has unconventionally made me want to die. I wasn’t quite prepared for this feeling.”

291 “You could have loved me, I’m quite good at seducing, but you’re actually vile.”

292 “I hope I see you in a bodybag sometime.”

293 “Let’s pretend you didn’t cheat on me with my sister and be good people for a few minutes.”

294 “We should probably stop talking forever.”

295 “If I hated you anymore, I think I’d probably be crowned as satan’s right-hand man.”

296 “To say I ‘tolerate you’ is a vast overstatement.”

297 “You broke her heart and came back for more, you bastard.”

298 “This isn’t fifth grade, this is a courtroom, you whore.”

299 “I think you’d be the perfect match for my ex-husband. He loved to sleep with multiple people.”

301 “Time was always a measurement of this relationship and we finally ran out.”

302 “Please don’t look at me with such hatred.”

303 “I could’ve died and you couldn’t have cared less.”

304 “Just get out. I- I don’t want you hear, just leave.”

305 “You’re not the same person I married, don’t tell me I’m wrong.”

306 “I wish you wouldn’t beg for forgiveness, it has the opposite effect of what you want.”

307 “Don’t hate me for this. You would’ve done the same.”

308 “This could’ve been the end and you were ready to let me go.”

309 “You should’ve left me, you could never deserve the person I’ve become.”

310 “Hate me all you want. I know I’m right.”

311 “Today you broke my arm, I hope tomorrow it’s not my heart.”

312 “Nothing can justify this, you’ve ruined him.”

313 “You live with so much guilt, I hope it drives you mad one of these days.”

314 “My life was ruined because of one mistake. You were that mistake.”

315 “You are everything I hate, don’t ever come back.”

316 “Evil doesn’t come close.”

317 “Your wrongdoings are becoming your pastimes.”

318 “I wish you had of just done it for the thrill of it, but now you’re in deep shit.”

319 “Next time, I won’t be here to salvage your wreckage. This is the last time.”

320 “You should have ruined me when you had the chance.”

321 “No one will keep your name alive. Once you’re gone, everything you once stood for disappears too.”

322 “Don’t pretend you haven’t thought about your life without me.”

323 “This is always how it ends.”

324 “Break my heart once more, I dare you.”

325 “Forget how you loved me once, I mean nothing now.”

326 “This isn’t Romeo and Juliet, this is real life and I can go on without you.”

327 “You don’t own me, I don’t belong to you.”

328 “I should’ve died. That would’ve made you happy.”

329 “Are we going to carry on like this or are you going to give him back to me.”

330 “She drowned and he lost his mind.”

321 “We shouldn’t. You’re married and I’m pregnant.”

332 “You’ve never been loved, I can tell.”

333 “Who told you I needed fixing and what made you believe them?”

334 “You’re almost as far-gone as I am.”

335 “Maybe it’s best that we don’t go home.”

336 “Roaming the streets was never safe for her. What makes you think it’s different for you?”

337 “I think you’re going to ruin me. Am I right?”

338 “Do you remember our last feud? I wouldn’t want someone to lose their life again, would you?”

339 “Kiss me quick and leave them be.”

340 “I hate seeing you so sad. It’s just so dramatic how humans show emotions and being sad is such a boring one.”

341 “Will you ever forget my number? No? Ah, because you still love me.”

342 “After the funeral, let’s surrender.”

343 “What made you think I cared for you?”

344 “It’ll be fun explaining this to your sister. I hope she likes horror stories.”

345 “Don’t act as if we’re friends. I know how much you want to slit my throat.”

346 “Let’s not get angry. Let’s calmly and sensibly take this outside so I can ruin your face.”

347 “Please ruin yourself for me and I’ll watch in adoration as I fall apart as well.”

Already requested – but still requestable

1 “Fancy seeing you here.” “I work here.”

3 “Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge” “Can I pick?”

4 “You know what they say, panicking burns a shit-ton of calories.” “Who even says that?” “Me. Just now.”

6 “No, no, you do NOT want me navigating. I’ll accidentally navigate us off a cliff.”

10 “You have no power over me.” “You sure about that?”

16 “That’s disgusting. You’re lucky you’re cute.”

18 “Can you please go be stupid somewhere that’s away from me?”

26 “I thought you forgot about me.” “Never.”

28 “Sometimes, memories are the worst torture.”

29 “You really have no clue who I am?” “You’d think the confused looks and blank stare would have answered that for you.”

60 “I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.”

84 “Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.”

91 “Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

94 “Well behaved woman rarely make history.”

102 “You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.”

104 “Damn, you’re strong for a little thing.”

107 “Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”

119 “Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.”

120 “You’re kinda anti-social, you know that?”

131 “I’m gonna make you wish you were dead.”

185 “Be with me.”

186 “I’m vulnerable around you, and it only gets worse when you smile.”

190 “I’m surrendering myself to you; body and soul. What more do you want?”

196 “I promise I’ll be tender.”

214 “Please, just… touch me.”

233 “Damn damn diggity damn.”

246 “I need to be closer to you.”

250 “How could you think this wouldn’t hurt me?”

270 “Don’t underestimate me, I have more power than you can even comprehend.”

300 “I’m not coming home, don’t look for me.”

348 “Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I break his nose a little?”

349 ��Show me your scars.” “But… why?” “I want to see how many times you needed me and I wasn’t there.”

350 “She’s my best friend. That hasn’t changed.” “It’s clear your feelings for her has.”

351 “Did you just… agree with me?” “Oh, I wish I could take-““Nope! You said it! No take-backs!”

352 “I think I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”

353 “Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the corner having another existential crisis.”

354 “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!” “And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!”

355 “You don’t strike me as a professional criminal.” “That’s what makes me so good at it.”

356 “It’s a good thing you’re cute when you’re angry.”

357 “What are you afraid of?” “You.”

358 “I don’t give a damn.” “You give so many damns they’re visible from SPACE.”

359 “It’s a long story” “You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months. I have time.”

360 “Unless I screw this up again, I’m going to marry you.” “Well you better not mess this up”

361 “Hey, I didn’t kill anyone today!” “What do you want? A gold star.”

362 “I feel like I’m being stabbed.” “How do you even know what it feels like to be stabbed?”

363 “What now?” “I don’t know. I thought the jump would kill us.”

364 “I saved your life.” “You pushed me off a building.”

365 “How do we keep getting into these situations?” “Eleven years of friendship and I still don’t know.”

366 “We’re leaving.” “But they have a lobster tank in their basement.”

367 “Take my hand.” “Why?” “I’m trying to ask you to marry me, so take my damn hand!”

368 “You look…” “Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”

369 “I’m fine.” “You don’t look fine.” “Then stop looking.”

370 “You gotta stop doing that.” “What?” “Saying things that make me wanna kiss you.”

371 “I think that you’re not as dark as you want people to believe.”

372 “I hate you.” “Why? I’m lovely.”

373 “Why are they afraid of you?”

374 “Literally everything about this is illegal.”

375 “You love her don’t you?” “Was it that obvious?”

376 “Why me?” “Because you saw me when I was invisible.”

377 “I was just kind of hoping that you’d, y’know…. fall in love with me.”

378 “It’s okay. You don’t have to love me.”

379 “You know, no one bothered me this much when I was dead.”

380 “Only a fool would fall in love with someone as deadly as me.”

381 “I’d know that smirk anywhere.”

382 “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”

383 “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”

384 “Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

385 “If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.”

386 “If I survive, can I go home?”

387 “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”

388 “You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.”

389 “You’re good. A monster pain in the ass… but you’re good.”

390 “Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

391 “The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.”

392 “My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.”

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