#it's really horrible when your partner is your safe space but is also indirectly hurting you at the same time
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#my recently developed nightly horrors have begun again#shout out to my newly disorganized attachment style ayy#not to be dramatic but like. i am so tightly wrapped in a blanket of insecurity it's like my skin now#i wish my parents weren't moving and i wish my partner could either confidently move with me for grad school or have a ldr#instead of considering breaking up as an option because grad school is 'a long time'. but it's a 3.5 year degree and i want to come BACK#man. it is taking literally everything i have to not let this emotional instability turn into destructive behavior#it's really horrible when your partner is your safe space but is also indirectly hurting you at the same time#also really horrible when you need to feel close to your partner again and spend quality time but she's just started having real friends#and you need to support her in that because it's what she deserves#but then what do i deserve.#fuckin ough man
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