#it's only in november lmao thank god i have time

[sol-flo]

my friend's bday party theme this year is tacky and i'm trying to think of an outrageous outfit but everything i come up with i could kinda eat tbh

[ktownshizzle]

Love & Lullabies | Part 3

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female Reader

Summary: What begins as a simple favor for your best friend Namjoon soon pulls you into the rhythms of Yoongi’s life—afternoons spent caring for his son, late nights filled with candid conversations, and a connection neither of you thought you needed. You’re just fresh out of a long-term relationship with an ex who didn’t want a family with you, so did you really just stumble into a life you’ve always dreamed of? (Thank god Namjoon isn’t the only one who’s clumsy.)

Alternatively: It’s 2025 and BTS is prepping for their comeback. All members seem to have gained muscle weight from their time at camp. But Min Yoongi has gained a different kind of weight—an 8-pound baby and a fuck-load of responsibility. (Thank god you’re there to help him.)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, idol!au, Acquaintances to Lovers, Reader is Namjoon’s bestie

Warnings: Yoongi is a DILF (!!!) That’s it.

Chapter warnings: GRAB YOUR TISSUES!, this bitch is a whole ass kdrama episode and it’s gonna hurt before it gets better, happy ending tho!, themes of self-loathing, anxiety, and depression (MC), severe postpartum depression (not MC), it’s monsoon season and namgi don’t like umbrellas, (____) in the rain cliche scene, NAMTIDDIES because I can’t help myself, lastly… watch me morph this into another workplace romance/co-workers to lovers story lmao (real)

Word count: ~7k

Posting date: November 21, 2024

Notes: This is inspired by an ask/prompt sent by @yoongznme. 

I am a clown 🤡 and a liar 🤥 From pretending this is a two-shot, then a three-shot. It has become a chaptered series, atp. There is a part 4 in the works and I fully intend to end it there, but again, I may have just jinxed myself. Anyway! Enjoy, my lovelies~ 💕

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four |  Masterlist

“She’s Haneul’s mom.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut.

“What?”

“Sung Kyung and Yoongi… they’ve been good friends for years,” Namjoon explains quickly, his tone almost apologetic. “I didn’t think they were dating. But yeah, she’s his mom. She left for months and when she came back, she'd already given birth.”

You feel like the ground has been ripped out from under you. What Namjoon said made no sense. You clutch the edge of the counter, your mind racing. “What do you mean she left…?” You have never been more confused in your entire life.

Namjoon sighs. “I don’t know all the details. You know hyung, he tells you what he thinks you need to know. The rest, he keeps to himself. But I do know they did the paternity tests and everything, and Haneul’s his, theirs.”

Theirs. It’s easier if Namjoon just slices your heart open at this rate. 

He places a tentative hand on your shoulder. “It’s better to hear it straight from Yoongi-hyung, since you guys are, you know.”

“I– I don’t know. I don’t know what we are,” you say, leaning your weight sideways against the wall to steady yourself. 

Get a grip. It’s Haneul’s day. 

Namjoon stands to shield you from the rest, in case anybody chances to look your way. You probably look like you’re about to puke. You definitely feel like it.

“Joonie…” Your voice is small when you ask, “Do you think she wants to come back now?”

Namjoon lifts his shoulder, lets it sag, “I don’t know. Maybe. She wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

Your chest tightens, a wave of insecurity crashing over you. Of course, she would want to come back now. She’s beautiful, successful, everything you’re not. And most importantly, she’s Haneul’s mother. That’s the kicker. How can you compete with that?

Spoiler alert: you can’t.

When you step back into the living room, the first thing you notice is Yoongi’s mom. She’s standing off to the side, her lips pressed into a thin line as she glares at Sung Kyung from across the room with a mixture of disapproval and barely-contained irritation.

“She shouldn’t be here,” she says quietly, her voice cold and clipped.

“Eomma,” Yoongi grits.

“She abandoned Haneul, Yoongi,” his mom hisses, her tone sharper now. “And she thinks she can just come here like nothing happened?”

Yoongi sighs, his hand briefly brushing his mother’s arm in a silent plea for calm. “Not here, eomma. Please. It’s Haneul’s birthday. Don’t make a scene.”

Of course he is siding with her.

You’re unable to tear your eyes away from Sung Kyung. How can she look so beautiful even if she looks miserable? She exchanges a few more quiet words with Yoongi near the door, her expression alternating between frustration and what looks like regret. You can’t hear what they’re saying, but you catch the way Yoongi’s shoulders stiffen, the way his jaw tightens as she reaches out to brush his arm. You see Yoongi nod, and you’re so curious, what is he agreeing to?

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, she leaves. The door is closed, but for sure this chapter isn’t. Not even close.

You entertain yourself by watching some of the BTS members play some video games. Their antics, as funny as they are, don’t really register. Your laughs are hollow, mind totally elsewhere. It’s a while before Yoongi finally finds you, after he disappeared to his studio after Sung Kyung left and went MIA for half an hour or so.

He corners you near the snack table as you pretend to be engrossed in arranging leftover cupcakes.

“Hey,” he says softly, touching your arm lightly.

You turn to face him, your smile brittle. “Hey. How’s everything going?”

“Can we talk?”

You nod, following him toward the hallway, away from the laughter and chatter. The noise completely fades as you enter his soundproof studio and he turns to face you.

He exhales deeply, running a hand through his hair. “I wanted to talk to you,” he says carefully, like he’s choosing every word with precision.

“About Sung Kyung.” you offer. He nods, shoulders visibly tense. “Yeah. And Haneul.”

The mention of Haneul makes your chest tighten, but you steady yourself, waiting for him to continue.

“She and I… we were close for a long time,” he begins, his gaze dropping to the floor. “And yeah, there was a point where I thought it was going somewhere. But then she just… disappeared.”

“Disappeared?”

“She left Korea. No warning, no explanation. Just… ghosted.” He shrugs. “I didn’t know where she went or why. She didn’t contact me for months.”

“And then one day,” he continues, “she called. Told me she just gave birth to a son. That it was mine.”

The words hang between you, heavy and jarring. You don’t say anything, letting him get it all out.

“She didn’t tell me she was pregnant,” he says, shaking his head as if he still can’t believe it. “I literally only found out after he was born.”

You feel a pang of sympathy, but then you’re also feeling angry at Sung Kyung. “Why did she wait so long to tell you?”

“She said she didn’t want to burden me. I was already doing my military service and I had that thing… that case. She thought she could handle it on her own.” He looks up at you then, his eyes dark and conflicted. “But after she had him… she couldn’t. She fell into really severe postpartum depression and some other health issues, basically telling me she was diagnosed unfit to take care of him.”

Your throat tightens, and you clasp your hands together to keep them from shaking. “So you stepped in.”

He nods, “I didn’t have a choice. Haneul needed someone, and I couldn’t—I wouldn’t turn my back on him. He’s my son. It was confirmed by a paternity test.”

“And now she’s back,” you say, more a statement than a question.

“Yeah,” he says quietly, dragging a hand down his face. “She says she’s better. That she wants to be in his life now. That she can be. And honestly… I don’t know what to do.”

You study him for a moment, your emotions warring between compassion and your own sense of inadequacy. “What do you want, Yoongi? Not for her, not for Haneul. What do you want?”

“I don’t know,” he admits, gnawing his lip before he says, “I just… I want to do what’s right for Haneul.”

The words cut deeper than you expected, but you force a small smile, nodding as if they don’t sting. “That makes sense.”

Yoongi takes a step closer as he studies your face. “But what about you?” he asks, his voice almost too gentle. “How are you feeling about all this?”

The sincerity in his question takes you off guard, and for a moment, you’re tempted to tell him everything. The ache in your chest, the jealousy you hate admitting to, the fear of losing whatever connection the two of you have built. But instead, you plaster on a smile, shoving all those emotions into a corner of your mind.

“I’m fine,” you say lightly. “It’s Haneul’s birthday. That’s what matters.”

Yoongi doesn’t look convinced, his gaze lingering on you as if he’s trying to read the truth in your expression. But after a moment, he nods, letting it drop. “Okay.”

Finally, you glance at the door, forcing yourself to straighten up. “We should probably get back to the party.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi says, stepping aside to let you pass. But as you reach for the door, his voice stops you.

“Thank you,” he says quietly.

You turn back, your brows furrowing. “For what?”

“For everything,” he says, his eyes filled with something you can’t quite name.

You don’t know how to respond, so you just nod. Because his words—why did it feel like a goodbye?

The rest of the party passes in a blur. You keep smiling, keep laughing, keep pretending everything is fine. You stand by as Yoongi helps Haneul blow out his single candle, snapping pictures of his chubby hands smashing into the frosting. 

You’re wiping stray frosting from Haneul’s cheek when you glance at him and for a split second, you see her. Sung Kyung’s face is right there, faint but unmistakable, in the shape of his eyes and the curve of his brows.

The realization hits you like a freight train. You freeze, the cloth clutched in your hand, staring at this beautiful baby boy who isn’t yours. Who will never be yours.

It’s too much. You set the muslin down, excusing yourself to the kitchen with a muttered, “I’ll grab more drinks.”

You don’t even make it to the fridge. You stand there by the counter, gripping its edge as you force yourself to breathe, to keep the tears at bay. You’ve never felt more out of place in your life.

Namjoon finds you a few moments later, leaning against the doorway with a quiet, watchful look. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t ask if you’re okay. He just stays there, close but not too close, his presence steady and silent. You appreciate him for that—for knowing exactly what you need when you’re unraveling. He’s your best friend after all.

But even his quiet support isn’t enough to keep the emotions at bay.

Across the room, Yoongi’s eomma catches your eye. There’s something pitying in the glances she throws your way, a faint furrow of her brow that makes you want to sink into the floor. You had the feeling she knows there’s something between you and Yoongi, but now… now it feels like she’s seeing through you, like she knows exactly how small you’re starting to feel.

Because the truth is, you’re nothing.

You’re not Haneul’s mom. You’re not Yoongi’s girlfriend. You’re just someone who helps out when it’s convenient, and now that they have a nanny, you’re not even that. And it hurts. God, it hurts because you thought—maybe foolishly, maybe selfishly—that you were becoming something more. That you were becoming someone to them. That, maybe, you were becoming a family.

But now, as you stand there watching Yoongi carry Haneul to his room, barely sparing you a glance, the truth sinks in like a stone in your chest. You’re not someone. You’re a placeholder. A stand-in.

And pretty soon, just like Jiyong, they’re going to discard you. Because that’s what always happens. You’re always easy to leave behind. Always replaceable. Always useless.

The thought claws at you, and you suddenly can’t breathe. You grab your things and run. The cool night air stings your skin, but it’s nothing compared to the ache in your chest.

The tears come before you can stop them, hot and angry and full of every ounce of self-loathing you’ve tried to bury.

You glance back at the building. Maybe for the last time. You’re on the outside now—of course you are. You’ve been on the outside this entire time.

Namjoon must have noticed you were gone because he texted shortly after:

Namjoon: You okay? Namjoon: Don’t worry, I told them you weren’t feeling well. Go home and rest. Text me when you’re there.

That night, you ignored Yoongi’s call. You stared at the screen as his name lit up, your finger hovering over the answer button before you let it ring out. He left a voicemail. You deleted it without listening.

The next morning, you wake up to another call from him. This time, he doesn’t leave a voicemail. Instead, he sends a message.

Yoongi: Can I come over?

You stare at the text for a long time, your stomach twisting with guilt and anger and sadness. Finally, you type out a single word:

You: No

You throw your phone face-down on the couch, ignoring the way it buzzes again and again and again.

For the next few days, you ghost him.

It wasn’t easy. Every time your phone buzzes, you feel a pang of guilt, a deep ache that gnaws at your resolve. But you can’t bring yourself to answer. You need time. You need to figure out where you stood in all of this.

His messages come sporadically at first:

Yoongi: Hey, can we talk? Yoongi: I don’t know what I did wrong, but I want to fix it. Yoongi: Please. Just let me know you’re okay.

You delete most of them without reading too much into them. But then he starts sending pictures.

The first was of Haneul, grinning in his chair, wearing the capybara slippers you’d gifted him for his birthday.

Yoongi: Haneul misses you

The next day, another photo. This time, Haneul was lying on his playmat, still wearing the slippers, holding onto Bora.

Yoongi: Still missing you

Each message chips away at your resolve, but the one that breaks you comes Thursday evening:

A short video clip. In it, Haneul is sitting on the floor, babbling as he clutches Bora. And then, clear as day, he says it:

“Sa-ra.”

Your heart twists painfully. It’s clipped, but it’s unmistakably sarang. Your term of endearment for him, the nickname you’d called him since he started smiling every time he heard it. He’d never been able to say it back—not until now.

And Yoongi knows exactly what he is doing, sending this to you.

You stare at the screen for what feels like an eternity, leaving the video on loop, before finally opening your call log. His name was right at the top, of course. You hit the call button, your hands trembling as you bring the phone to your ear.

“Hello?” Yoongi’s voice comes through almost immediately.

You exhale shakily. “Hi.”

There was a pause. Then he speaks again, and you can hear his vulnerability. “I didn’t think you’d call back.”

You close your eyes, trying to steady yourself. “How could I ignore that video? Haneul… he said sarang.”

“Yeah, he’s been saying it non-stop since yesterday.”

You swallowed hard, gripping the phone tighter. “Yoongi… about… us.”

“Mmh?” He didn’t interrupt, didn’t rush you. He just waited.

“I’ve been thinking,” you began. “Haneul deserves to have a complete family. He deserves to know his mom, to have her in his life. If—if that’s what you both want.”

Yoongi was quiet for a long moment before he finally responded. “But… he needs you, too.”

Before you can back out, “Yoongi, I need space,” you say finally, your voice trembling.

There was a pause, and when he spoke again, his voice was quiet. “Okay.”

It wasn’t a protest. It wasn’t an argument. Just… okay. It’s the most ‘Yoongi’ reaction to things, and you hate it. You hate it so much.

You hang up, staring at the screen until it goes dark. Your chest felt heavy, your heart splintering in ways you didn’t know it could.

You’d told him you needed space and he said okay. The truth is, when you said space, you just wanted him to make room for you. To assure you that you belong with them. That there is a seat, warm and yours. But he didn’t.

You miss Yoongi so much it feels like a physical ache. But it’s not just him. You miss Haneul’s face, his giggles, his sleepy weight in your arms. 

Namjoon has been doing his best to check in. He sends you UberEats nearly every other day, a steady stream of meals you barely touch. The one time he came over, unannounced, he walked into what could only be described as a disaster.

“Jesus Christ,” Namjoon muttered, kicking a stray box out of his way as he entered your apartment. The laundry basket was overflowing, your trash can piled up. You were in a 2-day old shirt, hair a rat’s nest, and you’re slouched on the couch with an empty brain.

Namjoon stared at you, his disappointment radiating off him. “Y/N, you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

“I’m fine,” you lied, barely looking at him.

He scoffed. “Fine? You look like you’ve been run over by a truck. Twice.”

“So dramatic.” You rolled your eyes, but the truth of his words stung.

Namjoon crouched in front of you, placing his hands on your knees. “Move in with me for now. You know I have the space. You can’t stay here like this. It’s not healthy.”

“I’m not moving in with you, Joon,” you said, shaking your head. “I’m not your charity case.”

He sighed, rubbing his temples. “You’re not a charity case. You’re my best friend. And I’m not gonna sit back and watch you drown in your own misery.”

“I’m not gonna live in your and Soyeon’s sex den,” you snapped unnecessarily.

Namjoon just looked at you, shook his head, before he flopped beside you on the couch. He fed you, forced you to go take a shower, and watched some shitty reality show with you. He eventually left, though you could feel the weight of his disappointment long after the door shut behind him. If he only knew how thankful you were of those visits.

A week later, you find yourself standing in front of Yoongi’s apartment. You didn’t plan this. You don’t even know what you’re hoping to achieve by being here. All you know is that the ache of missing them—missing him—has become unbearable.

You knock on the door before you can second-guess yourself.

Mrs. Kwon opens it, her expression immediately uneasy. “Y/N,” she says, her tone cautious. “You should come back another time.”

“Why?” you ask, your voice sharper than you intended.

She hesitates, her lips pressing into a thin line. “It’s just… not a good time.”

“I need to see them,” you insist, stepping forward.

“My dear girl, please listen—”

But you’re already past her, your determination overriding her warnings.

When you step into the living room–

Fuck.

There she is. Sung Kyung, sitting on the floor with Haneul in her lap, holding a plush toy you don’t recognize. She’s smiling at him, her voice soft as she tries to coax him into playing with it. Adding salt to the wound–Bora, the capybara plush you gave Haneul, is discarded carelessly in the corner near the diaper pail.

Your heart stops, and before you can control yourself, you take a step back, your movement catching Sung Kyung’s attention. She looks up, confused. She doesn’t know you, why would she? 

Yoongi’s voice comes from behind you, and you turn to see him emerging from his studio, his brows furrowed in confusion. “Who rang the—”

His eyes widen when he sees you, but you’re already moving, your feet carrying you toward the door in a blind rush.

“Wait—Y/N!”

You barely hear him as you bend down and snatch Bora from the floor. Haneul’s voice suddenly cuts through the air, his tiny, excited voice calling out, “Sa-ra! Sa-ra!”

Tears blur your vision as you wrench the door open and run, Yoongi’s voice calling after you, but you don’t stop.

It’s raining when you step outside. Great, because this day couldn’t get any worse. The cold droplets soak through your clothes almost instantly. You don’t have an umbrella, but you don’t give a shit. Tears stream down your face mixing with the rain.

You don’t know how far you get before you feel it—a warmth against your back, arms wrapping around you tightly.

Yoongi’s voice cracks as he says your name, his rain-soaked body like a furnace against your shivering frame. “Please.”

He sounds like he is begging, but why? What is he asking? What does he want from you?

You shake your head, your voice breaking. “This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come.”

“Then why did you?” he asks, his tone desperate, his chest heaving as he pulls you tighter.

“Because I thought… I thought I had a place here. But I’m such a fucking idiot.”

“Don’t say that,” he pleads, his voice barely audible over the rain as he turns you to face him. His hands come up to cradle your face. He was starting to shake too, the pads of his fingers damp against your skin. His eyes search yours, desperate, and before you can stop him—or yourself—he closes the space between you and kisses you.

Against the pouring rain, your lips press against each other, clumsy, shaky, unexpectedly urgent. His lips move like he’s trying to say all the things he can’t find the words for, like this is his only way to make you understand. And for a second, maybe a minute, maybe more, you let him.

You feel his ragged breaths as he licks into your mouth, his hair brushing your temple, droplets trailing down your skin. His hand slides from your cheek to the nape of your neck, fingers threading gently through your wet hair. It’s tender and fierce all at once, like he’s afraid you might vanish if he lets go.

But there is a tinge of bitterness cutting through the taste of his kiss. This isn’t enough—not to fix everything, not to erase the doubt clawing at the edges of your mind. Not to prevent the new thoughts from worming its way inside.

Sung Kyung is in his apartment right now. So maybe it’s not just about Haneul anymore. Maybe they’re reconciling. Trying to sort out their own feelings that they put on ice. Yoongi did say he thought their relationship was going somewhere. 

God, you do not want to be some homewrecker. You cannot do that to Haneul. Weakly you try to pull back. 

But Yoongi doesn’t let you. His lips chase yours, teeth gently sinking into your plush and you’re unable to stifle the moan from your mouth at the delicious sting. You open up to him, lips sliding against his as his other hand grips your waist now, pulling you closer until you can really feel the heat of his body through the drenched fabric of his clothes. The world feels like it’s spinning, everything is blending into a dizzying blur, and you don’t know how to stop it.

Your hand hovers at his chest, not pushing him away but not pulling him closer either. Your heart is screaming to hold on just a little longer. But your head is telling you—

“No,” you whisper, breaking away as quickly as you can without slipping on the slick ground. Your chest heaves as you clutch Bora tighter against you.

Yoongi stands frozen, his lips parted as if he’s about to speak, his dark eyes locked on yours. The rain clings to his lashes, his hair plastered to his forehead, and for a moment, he looks completely lost.

“I can’t do this, Yoongi,” you choke out, your voice shaking. “I just… I can’t.”

And before he can stop you, you turn and run again, your feet splashing through puddles as you make your way to the nearest bus stop. By some miracle, you make your way home in one piece. Barring one vital organ that’s discarded somewhere in Hannam.

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I Got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds up my window And I can't see at all And even if I could, it'd all be gray But your picture on my wall It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad - Stan, Eminem

Your apartment is cold and quiet, the soft patter of rain against the windows the only sound. The mug of tea on your table has long since gone cold, untouched, as you sit curled up on the couch, staring at that grainy selca Yoongi sent you weeks ago. 

You’re startled out of your thoughts by the sound of the door opening. Namjoon steps in, shaking off the rain and holding a grocery bag in one hand, his hoodie slung over his shoulder. He’s soaked to the bone, but he flashes you his dimples anyway.

“You know,” he starts, setting the bag on the counter, “for someone who always claims they’re fine, you sure as hell don’t look it.”

“Don’t start, Joon,” you mumble, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself.

Namjoon ignores you, glancing around the apartment with a disapproving look. “Seriously? It still looks like you just moved in. No decorations, no warmth. This part could be a photo wall or something…”

You roll your eyes. “Alright, Mr. Art influencer.”

“I need a dry shirt,” he says, gripping the edge of his tee and pulling it up and over his head without fanfare.

You’ve never felt attracted to your best friend in any physical or sexual way ever (seriously, ew), but you can appreciate a good physique when you see one.

“Wow, Joonie, are your tiddies getting bigger?” you say as you stand to find a shirt for him from your makeshift closet.

“You’re an idiot.”

Before you can respond, the doorbell rings. Namjoon straightens, wiping his hands on his pants. “You expecting someone?”

You shake your head.

Namjoon strides to the door, glancing through the peephole with a tsk before pulling it open. He doesn’t seem to care that he’s shirtless, which would be awkward enough if it were anyone else standing there. 

But it’s Yoongi.

Yoongi stands in the hallway, his expression strained, his eyes immediately scanning the room behind Namjoon until they land on you, curled on the couch. You clutch the t-shirt you were about to lend Namjoon tighter against your chest, unsure whether to feel relief, anger, or the painful longing that’s been gnawing at you for days.

“I need to talk to her,” Yoongi says, his voice calm but heavy with emotion.

Namjoon steps into the doorway, crossing his arms as he blocks the entrance. “Maybe not today, hyung.”

Yoongi’s jaw tightens, but he doesn’t flinch. “I have to. I need to explain.”

Namjoon doesn’t budge, his voice soft but firm. “Sorry, hyung. Not after everything.”

Yoongi’s eyes flick to you again, desperate. “I just… fuck,” He swallows hard, his voice breaking slightly. “I can’t let her think she doesn’t matter to me. She does. More than anyone.”

Namjoon hesitates for the first time, glancing back at you. His expression softens briefly, but when he turns to Yoongi again, it’s your voice that responds.

“Yoongi.” Your voice is quiet, but it cuts through the tension like a blade. Both men turn to you, and the hope that flashes across Yoongi’s face makes your lungs shrivel.

You grip the fabric in your hands tighter, willing yourself to stay firm. “You should go.”

Yoongi’s lips part as if to argue, but the look in your eyes silences him. He nods once, slowly, his expression crumbling for just a moment before he turns away.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice so soft you almost don’t hear it.

Namjoon watches him for a moment longer before stepping back into the apartment and shutting the door.

The first step is always the hardest.

Namjoon didn’t sugarcoat anything when he told you to get your shit together. “I love you,” he said bluntly after Yoongi left that rainy night, “but you’re the only one who can pull yourself out of this. No one else is coming to save you. Not me. Not Jiyong. Not Yoongi. Just you.”

You hated hearing it, but he was right.

So you took the first step: you called a therapist. Twice a week, you sat in that tiny, clinical room and talked about everything you’d buried for years. The abandonment issues you’d carried since childhood. The shame you felt after your relationship with Jiyong fell apart. The way you constantly give pieces of yourself to others, just like you did with Haneul and Yoongi, leaving nothing for yourself. Thinking that’s okay.

Session by session, the fog began to lift. Slowly, you started to understand that happiness couldn’t come from someone else, no matter how deeply you loved them. It had to come from you—built piece by piece, nurtured, protected.

You realized that loving yourself wasn’t selfish. It was necessary. And for the first time in months, you began to believe you were worthy of it.

At home, you started small. One night, you finally tackled the pile of laundry that had been haunting you for weeks. Another night, you scrubbed down the kitchen until the counters gleamed. And then one weekend, you went to IKEA and bought a bed frame—not just a functional one, but a beautiful one that made you feel excited to wake up in the mornings.

You even hung up paintings on the walls, little pops of color that made the apartment feel like it was actually yours. Namjoon gave you some from his collection, too.

Running sucks, but it became your nightly ritual. At first, it was hard. Your legs ached, and your lungs burned. But the more you pushed yourself, the better it felt—the rush of endorphins, the rhythm of your feet hitting the pavement, the way your thoughts quieted for just a little while.

Bit by bit, you started to feel lighter. Like you were shedding layers of weight you didn’t even realize you were carrying.

And then there was Yoongi.

He was still a constant name on your phone, though the tone of his messages had shifted over time. At first, his texts were full of apologies and pleas for a second chance:

Yoongi: I know I messed up. Please let me make it right.

Yoongi: I’m sorry for everything. I hate that I hurt you.

Yoongi: I need you, Y/N. I should have told you sooner.

Yoongi: Can I come over? I really want to explain everything.

Yoongi: I’m an idiot.

Yoongi: I’ll wait for you. Just tell me when you’re ready to talk.

Then came the texts about Haneul:

Yoongi: Haneul misses you. Not to one-up my own kid, but I miss you more.

Yoongi: Han said your name today. He kept pointing at the door like he was waiting for you to walk in.

Yoongi: I bought him a new Bora. This giraffe is lame. [image attached]

Yoongi: Han’s been carrying Bora 2.0 everywhere. He even tried to feed it rice last night.

And now, weeks later, his messages had settled into something different.

Yoongi: I was in the studio all day, and Hobi made me take a break. We ended up eating too much fried chicken and now I have a zit.

Yoongi: How was your run today? Namjoon says you’re joining a mini marathon. Good luck!

Yoongi: Still have boxes of Silver Moon tea. It’s too bougie for my ghetto taste buds. Lmk if you want it. Yoongi: Actually, no need. I'll send it thru Namjoon.

Yoongi: I fucked up the choreography to our new track at Mubank today like an amateur. I hope you didn’t get to watch it.

They were simple, almost mundane. But Yoongi’s texts had a way of hitting you square in the chest. You think back to that conversation in his home, the one where he admitted how lonely he sometimes felt—how he wished for someone to talk to about the little things, the big milestones, everything in between. Someone to share life with. And now, with every message he sends, it feels like he’s choosing you.

Even though weeks have passed without seeing him, he’s still there. Reaching out. Trying to stay connected. Even when you never reply.

But his messages have become tiny bursts of dopamine in your otherwise quiet days. You’re both surprised and relieved he hasn’t stopped trying, that he hasn’t grown tired of pouring himself into the void of your Kakao.

Namjoon told you recently that Yoongi and Sung Kyung have started co-parenting Haneul. She gets supervised visits twice a month. At first, the green-eyed monster threatened to come out. But your best friend tells you that Yoongi never wanted to rekindle anything with Sung Kyung, which gave you some peace. Maybe if you’d been braver back then, you could’ve asked Yoongi yourself. Maybe if Yoongi had been better at communicating, he would have told you then it wouldn’t have felt like such an uphill climb.

But, he was also having such a difficult time, sorting through his own circumstances. And your insecurities at the time were too heavy, too overwhelming to sift through. You probably wouldn’t have believed him then. The progress you’ve made now—to love yourself first—feels hard-won and necessary. And maybe Yoongi also needed to go on a journey to really know what he wants for him and Haneul.

You’ve come to realize through all this that you don’t really hate Sung Kyung. Maybe you were angry on behalf of Yoongi and Haneul for all the secrets she kept, for the ways her choices hurt them both. There was even a night when you found yourself doing a Naver search on postpartum depression. You hadn’t understood how debilitating it could be, how it could turn even the strongest person into a shell of themselves. It didn’t excuse everything, but it gave you perspective, especially as you battle your own demons.

Still, as you journey forward, there are moments when you imagine the “what ifs” with Yoongi, if Sung Kyung hadn't showed up that day. Sometimes, late at night, your mind drifts back to him. You replay his kiss, remembering the way it felt, the way he tasted. You can still conjure the image of his face under the rain, the way he looked at you in that fleeting, heart-wrenching moment.

You wonder if he thinks about it, too. You know he’s waiting. You just hope that when you’re finally ready to let him back in, he’ll still be there—on the other side, willing to try again.

One evening, Namjoon called, his tone unusually excited. “Hey, I’ve got something for you.”

“No, I don’t need more lube, I’m stocked,” you joked, just to be a piece of shit.

“Shut up and listen,” he said, laughing. “Hybe’s opening a daycare for employees’ kids. They need someone to run it. You’re perfect for this.”

Your stomach flipped. “What? Joonie, I don’t even—”

“Don’t even try to argue,” he interrupted. “You have a degree in early childhood education. You love kids. This was your literal job in the states. C’mon, this is made for you.”

“What if I’m not ready?”

Namjoon sighed. “You are. I’ve seen how much work you’ve been putting in. You’re stronger than you think. Just… apply. The worst they can do is say no.”

You’re quiet, so he added. “...and they won’t. I’ll have each member of Bangtan sign a recommendation letter for you.”

“You’re too much, Joonie,” you laugh. But you surely won’t put it past him to do that. “But ok, I’ll apply.”

So you did. And a week later, you got the call.

Your first day at Hybe’s daycare center feels like a dream you didn’t know you had. The space is beautiful—sunlight streams through floor-to-ceiling windows, casting a warm glow over the colorful toys, tiny tables, and pastel murals. There are only three kids who pre-registered, but you were expecting more to walk in.

Namjoon is there, truly your ride or die, sitting casually on your desk with his ever-supportive grin. “You nervous?” 

“Nope,” you say, trying to sound confident. But the way your voice wavers gives you away.

Namjoon chuckles. “Relax. You’re going to crush this.”

Before you can respond, the door swings open, and in walks Hobi with Yunjin and their toddler, Jeongyeon. The little girl looks adorable in her sunflower-patterned overalls, her tiny pigtails bobbing as she walks toward the play area.

“Jeongyeon, say hi to teacher Y/N,” Yunjin says, gently guiding her forward.

“Hi!” Jeongyeon squeaks.

You crouch down to her level. “Hi, Jeongyeon! You’re gonna have so much fun today.”

“First kid of the day, ayeeee!" Hobi says, high-fiving Yunjin, before she runs to Jeongyeon who is mounting the toy pony. Then he turns to you, “Congratulations, Y/N.”

Just as they’re leaving, Namjoon nudges you. “By the way, did you know there’s a capybara mascot today?”

“What?” you blink, confused.

Before Namjoon can explain, something soft and warm suddenly envelops you in a hug. You turn to see a capybara mascot wrapping its plush arms around you, its giant head tilted adorably to the side.

“What the…” You laugh, surprised, grasping its arm. “Hybe really went all out, huh?”

Namjoon smirks. “Of course. First-day activations are a big deal here. And look at that, your favorite animal. What a coincidence.”

You grin, stepping back to look at the mascot. “Guess I’m a little biased, but this might be the cutest thing ever.”

The mascot gives you an exaggerated thumbs-up. 

Shortly, Haneul arrives. The moment you see him toddling through the door, all your nerves, all the weight you’d carried for weeks—gone. There’s no ache, no tension. Just pure, uncomplicated happiness.

His nanny, a kind older woman, walks him in, holding his hand as he peers curiously around the room.

Haneul bounds toward you giggling, his gummy smile stretching wide as he lets go of the nanny’s hand and waddles toward you.

“Hi, sarang,” you say, crouching down to scoop him into your arms. He smells like baby lotion and sunshine, and your chest feels full as he buries his face in your shoulder. “I missed you.”

You glance toward the door, your eyes darting around instinctively, but there’s no sign of Yoongi. A small pang of disappointment settles in your stomach before you shake it off. He’s probably holed up in his studio, working on something brilliant. It would have been nice to see him though.

The capybara mascot wanders over, drawing Haneul’s attention instantly. His eyes light up as he points at it, giggling.

“Appa!” Haneul says excitedly, punching the knee of the mascot with his tiny fists.

You laugh, brushing a hand through his soft hair. “That’s not your appa, Haneul. He’s probably in one of the big studios upstairs working very hard right now.”

The mascot gives you a pat on the head, and something about its movements feels oddly familiar. But you don’t dwell on it, too caught up in Haneul’s delighted squeals as the mascot does a little dance for him. It sure loves to shake its ass.

For the rest of the morning, you’re in your element, guiding the kids through activities, wiping tears, and singing songs during circle time. Every so often, Haneul points at the mascot and calls out “Appa!” again, and you can’t help but laugh.

And if the capybara mascot seems to hover a little longer around Haneul, or if it lingers near you whenever there’s a chance, well… you just chalk it up to coincidence.

(One day, much later, you’ll find out the truth. But for now, you’re content not knowing.)

That night, your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you pull it out to find another message from Yoongi.

Yoongi: Congratulations on your first day!

You stare at the screen, your thumb hovering over the keyboard. For the first time in weeks, as you look at your thread of messages from him, you let yourself smile—a small, cautious smile, but a smile nonetheless. And for the first time in months of radio silence, you type up your first reply to him.

You: Thanks, Yoongi. I’m really happy. :)

His reply came almost immediately.

Yoongi: You deserve it

And it may have taken a while, but you finally believe that. So you decide you are also finally ready to do this.

You: Can we talk? Yoongi: giv me 10 mins im cming overr

:)

A/N: 

Alright!! Wheeeew! You good? How are you feeling?!?!? As usual, please sound off in the comments. 💕

I just want to say that am so proud of this chapter. I think I wrote my best, angst work here. Plus - Kissing in the rain? Namtiddies? A taste of smau? Hee hee. 🤗 

If you make it to here, thank you so so much for reading this story, you lovely, beautiful, human! xo

Part 4 is coming uppp and it’s gonna be a doozy~ 🤭

P.S. As some of y’all know I am a mom and I have experienced post-partum depression before. It was nowhere near the severity of how it is depicted here (a condition that is grave and rare because the character also has other mental struggles), but I empathize. I cannot imagine being truly unfit to care for my own baby. So I request that we do not vilify L&L! LSK. She fucked up real baddd, she could’ve involved Yoongi earlier, etc etc but again she is trying to do better. Plusss, it needs to be said, she does not want Yoongi. Gasp. Y’all can rest easy. He’s yours! 💕

& If you want to read more of my work, please check out my masterlist. & If you enjoy my work and want to buy me a ko-fi, I'd appreciate it.

Taglist:

@yoongznme @nnybtitts08 @rinkud @nbjch05 @perfectiondazesworld

@marnz1990 @mxrauds @queenbloody @jadestonedaeho7 @futuristicenemychaos

@direnediane @glossdebut @maryhopemei @theresstardustinmyblood @mggv97

@wobblewobble822 @kam9404 @supernoonanyc @damn-u-min-yoongi @ot72025

@busanbby-jjk @granataepfelchen @jajabro @tarahardcore @marihoneywk

@ryryvna @tea4sykes @mar-lo-pap @lilkittenjenjen

@captainchrisstan @thelittlecatonthecake

@flaneuseonthestreets @sexytholland @diamonddia-mond

@yronathaniel @as-hs-blog @amarssfanfic @mafersame @amarawayne

@eurydiceofterabithia @diame93 @welcometomyworld13 @wonh0oe @lilkittenjenjen @jalexad

@jkkkkkay @chimmisbae @angellekookie @jovanaprime @txtsoobean @joonlovely

@kookiewithluv @soop-sprite @hyukaluve

[justalia]

belief

this post takes inspiration from my journey and my unconscious “positive” manifestations.

i found manifestation back in 2020, didn’t think much of it to be honest and didn’t even attempt manifesting anything because the advice i found was to affirm and persist and laziness got over me. i couldn’t be bothered to do all that. i tried once ngl, i failed and never picked it up again until 2022.

in 2022 tiktok started to popularize this shit with weird quirky methods and at the time i started to think again about an sp. i randomly desired her but we had went no contact since 2020 and i wasn’t really that bothered by her presence/absence. i started to miss her and i would ALWAYS (i know you do this too) make up scenarios that implied we were together.

now this wasn’t conscious so i wasn’t thinking i was manifesting her, i didn’t give a shit mostly cause i did not wanna reach out to her and i just wanted to make up my silly little scenarios with no consequences.

putting the scenarios to the side i started to rediscover manifestation and found the whisper method on tiktok, long story short i did it and the next day she reached out to me all of a sudden. it was so random and it made no sense based on the method i did but i took it as a conscious manifestation because i had done that method.

spoiler: i was in the state of being in a relationship with her and the 3D reflected that.

this happened again in november, i set the intention to manifest something and i scripted it. i was constantly checking the 3D and then i decided i was done with it and i would just make up my silly little scenarios about it in my head.

i had so much fun with my imagination but i didn’t even think i was manifesting shit left and right because of it. i thought the methods were doing that for me. i thought that i just had to script it as it had already happened and it would manifest. i didn’t know what states were, i had no idea what law of assumption was in the first place.

this being said you can see that i always had the habit of experiencing my desire in imagination if i couldn’t get it in the outside. i always used imagination like a kid and to be honest that did manifest some good things in my life.

the fact that it wasn’t conscious tho didn’t allow me to maintain my manifestation when it came because i was focusing on the outside reality and didn’t recognize that it was my own doing, i didn’t recognize that i was the cause of everything.

this leads me to what i wanna talk about: belief.

reading edward art’s series led me to realize what was so difficult for me in the first stages of my journey of conscious manifestation.

i started studying law of assumption and everyone talked about belief: “believe it to be true” “believe you have it” “believe imagination”.

all these things confused me so much because i was like “what? that’s crazy, why do i have to act delusional, i manifested shit before and it wasn’t this hard”.

i was just finding out the mechanism of what i always had done in the past without even realizing it.

“give it to yourself in imagination”

i swear to god if only i understood before how easy this shit was supposed to be i would’ve saved myself from a lot of heartache and troubles. i was so stressed while learning and applying the law the first times that i literally didn’t get my period for a month because of how stressed i was lmao.

and it is crazy how i always used to do it yet i found the law to be so difficult to understand at first.

now my perspective is that belief is too strong of a word, belief is just a feeling, something you feel to be true IN IMAGINATION. it’s not about the outside. IT NEVER IS. it never was and it never will be. i thank edward art because he was able to put into words what i was struggling with and when i read his series i felt understood.

belief is to strong of a word. belief is just a feeling, something i feel to be true in imagination. nothing more nothing less. saying “in imagination” i do not want to imply there is a waiting period between the 3D and the 4D being reflected, cause to be honest i don’t believe it and i’ve not experienced all the time.

yes. all you have to do to “manifest” i know it is real in imagination and discard the outer world because why would it matter if you can have exactly what you want in imagination NOW?

all is mind, there’s no reason at all to want/need the 3D to reflect in order to feel your desire to be yours.

when i unconsciously manifested with fulfillment in imagination i did not think about believing anything, i simply felt what i wanted to feel. i satisfied myself with the only way i knew: daydreaming.

but alia, i daydream all the time why doesn’t it manifest?

because you daydream then wait for something to happen. when i unconsciously manifested something just by imagining having it i wad not EVER focused on getting it from the outside, i did not give a shit about the outer world and just enjoyed imagination because i wanted to and because i could. the key is: I HAD NO EXPECTATIONS. I WAS NOT EXPECTING ANYTHING FROM MY IMAGINAL ACTS. I WAS NOT DOING ANYTHING TO CHANGE ANYTHING.

i was simply feeling what i wanted to feel.

read that again.

i was simply feeling what i wanted to feel. i was craving an experience and i decided to experience it in imagination. i thought to myself “well i can’t do anything to have it physically i don’t give a shit at this point i’m just gonna satisfy myself with imagination”

was i worried about:

is imagination enough? is it gonna reflect? is it gonna manifest? do i have it? am i doing enough?

NO I WAS NOT.

why? because i wasn’t trying to get anything in the first place!!!

i accepted that i could only have it in imagination and that i couldn’t do anything to manifest it because “the universe” would take care of it. (those were my beliefs at the time).

now i’m grateful to have found the law because i was not aware of how limitless we are and of the fact that circumstances did not matter at all and i could manifest literally ANYTHING i wanted. ANYTHING. i was still tied to logic before studying law of assumption so i didn’t fulfill every single desire i got but only the ones that were “realistic” like an sp.

and at the end of the day what even is realistic?

is manifesting an sp realistic? i don’t think so.

if you put logic into the game is it even really realistic to manifest someone to be in a relationship with you? probably not.

so if logic doesn’t apply anywhere at all in law of assumption and manifestation why would i worry about “making it happen”? all i have to do is enjoy having it in imagination.

the rest will follow like everything does.

i do not believe in the fact that there’s a time lag, i simply accept that i cannot know how imagination will be expressed and that includes the when because i don’t know which bridge of incidents i will take part in, i believe the 3D reflects imagination instantly in ways we don’t know anything of.

redirecting to the main topic:

belief is not something you should struggle with, you just have to FEEL what you want to be true in imagination, feel that you have it now, imagine yourself to have it/be it and imagine it in the most amazing way possible so that you WANT to go back to it, not because it manifests but because it is exactly what you want.

it is not your job to make anything happen on the outside, you can’t and you never will be able to.

you cannot experience it on the outside. accept this now and fulfill your desire in imagination now.

[louloulemons-posts]

Sand and Suncream

Eddie Munson X Reader

Summary : Reader, Eddie and their friends have a beach day.

Word count : 1.1k

Warnings : FLUFF, not proofread, petnames, reader calls him Teddy, swears, hating on summer lmao, play fighting, the sea

A/N : this is for all of my fellow summer sufferers, who can’t wait for the cold to come back! Also i’ve head cannoned eddie as a november baby, he gives off big scorpio vibes!

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

It had reached the cooler part of summer, the early autumn breeze blowing in. The trees were turning from green to brown, but there was still a beautiful warmth.

You and Eddie weren’t people who loved the warm, if anything you suffered through it. Eddies thick locks making his head melt and your want for winter making you almost miserable.

Of course your friends thought you were crazy. Just to get them off your backs you had decided to go to the beach with them. It wasn’t too hot, and there were some clouds to save you from the scorching sun.

“Why did we agree to this again?” Eddie asked, clad in a black tank top and shorts.

“I was going to say it’s because we love our friends, but honestly I don’t know at this point.”

Eddie pulled into the parking lot by the beach, next to Steve. Robin waved wildly, also wearing shorts, but a blue crop top on her upper half. “You made it!” she smiled, hugging you as you walked over.

“Of course we did, we were scared you’d kill us if not,” Eddie explained.

“Come on Munson, it’s just the beach,” an eye roll from Harrington.

“It’s just the beach,” he mocked Steve’s voice, “I’m a November baby.”

“Come on! I wanna go in the sea, come with me?” Robin asked you.

Nodding, you grabbed your beach bag, setting it down once you’d found the perfect place. Sliding off your own shorts, you spoke to Robin, “Have you got suncream on?”

“Mhm. Forced Dingus over there to put some on too.”

“What is it with boys and suncream?” you asked. “Honestly!”

“We’re right here you know?” Steve spoke, hands on hips. “Yeah, suncream is gross, makes you all sticky and yuck,” Eddie shivered.

You kissed his cheek, “I’d rather you be sticky and yuck than be burned and get skin cancer. Now let me get your hair out of your face.”

Pulling a hair tie off your wrist you knelt behind Eddie, pulling all of his curls into a loose bun, that sat just above his neck. “Thank you,” he said, pecking your nose.

“That’s enough Lovebirds, let’s go in the sea!” Robin grabbed you hand and dragged you down to the water. She sprinted ahead, falling in and soaking herself, because of course she did.

“Oh my god, it’s so cold,” she whined, you could only laugh at her. Making your way in slowly so you could get used to the temperature, you sighed.

It was so nice, compared to the hot sand, the icy water was beautiful. Robin swamp deeper into the water, you following behind happily, hoping to cool off some more

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

You’d decided to have lunch on the beach, having packed come sandwiches, fruit and other little things that you could pick on. Oh and of course, Uncle Wayne’s famous Sweet tea.

Leaning your head on Eddie, you sipped your drink humming in delight. “I really need Wayne to give me the recipe. I just want it all the time!” you exclaimed.

“If anyone could persuade him on giving it up, it’d be you,” Eddie kissed the top of your head, picking up a sandwich.

“We all need more suncream on in a minute,” Robin spoke. The two boys groaned. “Don’t be babies,” you said to them.

Once lunch was finished, you had to tackle Eddie. Sat on his lower back with his chest on the floor, you smeared suncream everywhere.

He’d taken off his vest and you had explained, people like him and Steve who had loads of freckles and beauty marks caught the sun more. Eddie more so, as his arms, chest and torso were littered in tattoos. “Let me look after you, you little shit!”

When you and Eddie first started dating you noticed the freckles that appeared on him when he’d been in the sun, and his rich chocolate curls, lightened, golden streaks throughout.

“Roll over,” you said, lifting yourself off him. In all honestly he could have easily got you off of him, but he did love you caring for him. Melted his heart.

“Face now,” you spoke and he whined, “Teddy come on, sooner I put it on the sooner it’ll dry.”

“Fine,” he pouted. You leaned down to kiss it away.

Steve and Robin weren’t being as sweet, the girl grabbing him by the legs and forcing him to have the cream on. She almost scalped him at one point.

“Close your eyes Teds,” you said softly, rubbing the cream into his face and neck gently. “All done pretty boy. Now can you help me?”

“Sure Sweetheart.” She took the bottle from your hands and started to rub it in to your shoulder and neck, whilst you did your legs and arms. “Want me to do your face?”

“Mm, please.” He was just as careful as you, never wanting to hurt you. Covering your face in a layer of the cream he smiled, kissing you. “All done.”

“Come in the water with me? It’s nice and cool.” You offered your hand to him, which he took without hesitation. The pair of you wandering down to the water leaving a squabbling Steve and Robin on the towels.

With linked fingers you and Eddie entered the ocean, he sighed in relief. “Okay you were right, this is nice.”

“Did you, Edward Munson, say I was right?” you teased. “I take it back.”

“Too late, you’ve inflated my ego now.”

“Didn’t know it could go up anymore.”

“Rude!” you splashed at him.

“Oh you’re in for it now.” He sent water flying your way, making you squeal at the cold. He grabbed for you, “No no! Teddy please!” you begged.

Wrapping his arms around your waist, he lifted you up. “Please!” He laughed at that, placing you down gently, keeping his arms around you. Back to his chest, the waves hit lightly against your tummy.

Resting his head on your shoulder, Eddie kissed your neck. Humming in contentment. “This is nice.”

“It is isn’t it?”

“Mhm, still can’t wait for Halloween though.”

“Me neither, and then theres your birthday!”

“Oh god.”

“It’ll be fun! We don’t have to do anything extravagant, we’ll do whatever you want?”

“What if we went away for a few days, just me and you?”

“Like a holiday?” he hummed a yes. “If that’s what you want. It’ll be nice to steal you away for a few days.”

“Want me all to yourself?” he cocked a brow. “Oh you know it babe,” leaning back you kissed the underside of his jaw.

“I love you.”

“I love you too Teddy.”

That’s when you knew, maybe summer days weren’t all that bad.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

A/N : i have realised i haven’t made many summer-y fics and i saw this fanart by @yamonotto (on twitter) and another by @chloerchain and knew i needed to write something!

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave any requests 🤍

[daryfromthefuture]

i'm on the train and bored and still have an hour to go, so TIME TO RANT ✨️

and i'm choosing to make a list of bttf scenes i would have done differently/things i would have added because i like disagreeing with bob gale as if i owned this franchise

this is maybe an unnecessary change, but personally, i would have preferred if there were more instances of marty trying to warn doc about his death in part 1. we see it when doc demonstrates the model and then later twice on november 12 (before he writes the letter and then before marty has to leave), but i feel like it would have been more emotionally impactful if he had tried it more than that and only at the very end given up and written that letter.

SHOW DOC PLAY SAX. LIKE BRO. they could have had a concert 😭 imagine doc crashing the dance and playing sax with marty on stage (take this bullet point with a grain of salt, i'm only half serious. but still seeing doc play sax would have been badass)

the most obvious point of all obvious points, add the goddamn lone pine mall hug. the entire fandom agrees it's canon, and i remember a post going around speculating that they did indeed record a hug and keep the secret footage somewhere at universal lmao. but all jokes aside, this hug was SO necessary. every sane person would be waiting for it when watching the movie. marty is literally on the ground, bawling his eyes out, thinking his friend is gone, and us heartbroken audience members don't even get a hug to soothe our souls. i haven't paid much mind to doc and marty's relationship when i first watched bttf, but even past me was expecting a hug. good thing bobby fixed it in the musical

MORE JENNIFER. don't knock that girl out for 75% of the movie, please. she deserved better, and i wish bttf 2 would have put more emphasis on her as a character and how she's like and stuff. i hate to see it, but she's such a surface character that we barely know anything about (in my opinion), and that's just sad. she could very well have gone to the cafe 80s with marty and kept him grounded and stuff.

honestly, i maybe even would have kept that deleted 1985a scene with dave. we don't get to see marty's siblings at all in that timeline aside from a mention from biff, and it would have been interesting to see.

this is quite a jump in time, but i wish bob gale would have expanded on the scene in bttf 3 in which doc tells marty that he wants to stay behind in 1885 because of clara. this might be my fanfic brain speaking, but i see so much conflict potential. it would have been wild to see doc and marty argue, maybe even fight for the first time in the trilogy, and picture the emotional turmoil both of them were going through. if i had been marty, i would have snapped, not gonna lie. like, yeah, i get that doc found the love of his life but after all the lectures he'd given marty and after all those times marty was willing to rip apart the fabric of time just to keep doc alive, that man just goes "sorry marty, i met a woman i fell in love with, thanks for saving my life so i can live it out HERE. you go back home and idk clean my lab" >:(. this will forever be a pet peeve hahahaha

WHY does doc just FLY OFF on that DAMN TRAIN? i have to admit, it is an epic ending and feels sort of celebratory, but how can he say that he had to get his dog BEFORE even MENTIONING marty, giving him a photo, shake his hand as if they were work colleagues and nothing more, and then LEAVE? WHAT??? at least talk to him for a bit longer, tell your best friend where you've been, whether he will see you again and that you cherish him for god's sake. if you already had to give him false hopes by getting on the train only to fly off on the hoverboard later 🙄

[ovaryacted]

I got one for yea. Anon off because I’m a degen and if I’m going to be sacrilegious, may as well show my whole ass

Leon was raised Catholic. This is canon. Now, he ain’t religious. We know this. But let’s just say he loves an s/o who’s Catholic.

To sum this up rq, us Catholics go through lent. So for 40 days after Ash Wednesday we give up one thing (or do more charity work) for those 40 days. We can have what we gave up after Easter.

Now. With that out of the way, time for me to get excommunicated.

Let’s just say Leon is curious about catholic traditions. He may not go to church but if his s/o gets the ashes on their forehead, he may as well join ‘em.

Now lent begins. And his s/o wants to give us orgasms. Not theirs. His.

For 40 days Leon is edged. At first he thinks he can handle it. It’s a challenge for him. He’s game. He gets edged once, on day 1. Edged 2 times on day 2 etc etc.

But by day like, 10, he’s cracking. He’s being brought to the edge so much and so often he’s damn near desperate. Day 20 he’s sobbing, begging to cum.

Day 30 he’s promising to go to church more he’ll convert back to Catholicism. He’ll get baptized again, just let him cum.

Day 40, on Easter, the most holy day for us Catholics, his s/o finally lets him cum. I think his brain literally shuts down from how powerful his orgasm is. Like neurons full on fizzle out processing the pure pleasure and ecstasy. I’d even bet he orgasms twice from how intense it all is.

He’s trembling, shaking, practically screaming from how good feels. He probably passes out. Leon only realizes he had completely blacked out when his s/o is stroking his cheek and praising him.

It takes a good bit of aftercare for him to return to the world but once he’s back, he’s already counting the days until lent again.

Aight Catholic Church it’s been fun. I’ll see you all in hell lmao.

I think it's kind of funny that I unintentionally saved my response to this for Easter weekend LMAO. But even though I personally am not religious, I think the idea of lent or having to give something up is an interesting one and I applaud people who do that. That being said, Leon voluntarily giving up the ability to have an orgasm because he loves his partner and wants to respect and support their faith would turn him into a reborn catholic.

This is on another level of No Nut November, military-grade abstinence that is slowly killing him over 40 days and 40 nights. He thinks he can handle it when it's first suggested, he's gone without feeling pleasure for years, and he'll make it.

He's wrong, so very wrong. In reality, he gets humbled very quickly, and after the first few edging attempts he thinks it isn't so bad until it feels like his dick is about to fall off from being on edge constantly. His body pulses, rigid as hell, he's antsy and is constantly bouncing his leg when he sits, and now has a hard time sleeping. It'll get so bad that he'll propose not being near his partner for a while because just being in the same room with them makes him hard, and the fact that he can't do anything about that kills him.

But after Leon survives the Lent period and finally gets what he wants, he almost regrets agreeing to it in the first place. The orgasms he experiences after 40 days are intense and overwhelming, and the way he has an out-of-body experience really makes him think that a God does exist. In the back of his mind, he's just thanking this Godly figure for allowing him to live this long to experience something like this. Perhaps he does black out from it all, I think he would, but it would probably change the way he thinks about everything in his life at that moment.

[soup-du-silence]

(I'm so sorry if this ends up being sent twice, the first time got a bad request error :'D) Top 3 favourite cards from twst? Be it for the art, vignette, clothing, etc!

jhsflaskhdh sooooo okay I've only been playing since november! so there are a lot of cards I've missed/havent even seen because....idk there's a lot of them and sure, I've gone and looked at my faves to see whats available but there's a lot of characters I haven't bothered looking at and

basically welcome to the kalim al-asim appreciation hour lmao

Jamil is actually my favorite boy, but I think a lot of his cards are kind of mid, and it's probably because he's one of the (many) characters they try to make, like, seductive looking, and. That doesn't really do much for me lol. I don't like Jamil because he's sexy, I like him because he always seems like he's one personal inconvenience away from killing everyone in this room and then himself. Objectively he's gorgeous but I actually like his live2D better than I like a lot of his cards, if that makes sense! (I actually had a laugh about his applepom card when it was announced because what are you DOING you doofus get off the GROUND you look like a FOOL!! The groovy is cute tho so it's fine haha)

And Kalim is not really a sexy-type character! He's just a plucky, fun-lovin' guy here to have a good time! That's usually the kind of character I gravitate to, so his cards are superior to me. (My top three boys are Jamil, Kalim and Ruggie, so Jamil is really the outlier haha)

anyway:

Pop music club Kalim!

Obviously since I just started playing, I missed this one and I'm devastated about it. All the pop music club cards are GREAT because their little battle sprites music the enemy to death and that's just amazing, but Kalim gets a grunge look and that seems made for me, specifically, because loving flannel is a native trait for my specific breed of lesbian. Combat boots too??? Thank you. I wish these cards had vignettes, I want to know who dressed him. (It was Cater.)

Tsumsitter Kalim!

Okay primarily I like the ungroovied version of this one (actually?? I usually tend to like the ungroovied versions better most of the time) because he is SO cute in it? His face?? Is adorable??? (Yknow how I said I like Jamil's Live2D better than his card art? Kalim ALWAYS looks more like Himself to me in card art and I dont think his Live2D ever really does him justice.) I have the same complaint everyone else does about the groovy, in that the lighting is weird and it makes them look unnecessarily pale. Otherwise it's alright! The TsumTsum events are very stupid but also very charming.

Playful Dress Kalim!

God I can't wait until we get this event in EN asfdskf at least I didn't miss playful land!!! They could give my man a break from the dropped-crotch pants now and then but otherwise this look is amazing.

Honorable mention to all of Ortho's cards, they all fuck unnecessarily, all the swimwear cards are a lot of fun (I also want this event in EN, it also looks stupid but charming), and I'm making one concession for Jamil's Birthday Jacket Groovy, it was his birthday and they let him commit one murder, as a treat, go off king, you deserve it (rip sebek):

[lingeronyourhazeleyes]

thanks for your tags on that nowhere boy post! I'm so curious what your thoughts are on the movie. When did you first see it? Are you a John girl? What are your thoughts on Mimi and Julia?

aww thank you for this ask 🥰🥰 (and i'm terribly sorry, i'm gonna leave a wall of text here, cuz I just can't resist the opportunity to yap about my Beatles-related experiences and opinions xd)

first of all, i don't really get why this movie tends to get so much hate (aside from the part where John hits Paui, and i really liked your insight that it was necessary to make the subsequent hugging and crying on each other's shoulders less gay - god i hate you late 2000's), because tbh this is my favourite Beatles biopic. Aaron Taylor-Johnson captures John's whimsical spirit quite well imo and even though Thomas Brodie-Sangster wouldn't have been my first choice for Paul, he's really good at being a charming motherfucker and a lil shit at the same time :D

i think i saw it for the first time in my late teens/early 20s with my mom and her husband, but i didn't pay much attention to the details then (given that i only had a very surface level of Betales-knowledge back then). I rewatched it last November though (in the midst of a full-blown Beatles brainrot).

Am i a John girl? Huh, i guess i'm something that people around here would call a John-coded Paul girlie xd nevertheless I aspire to be a Ringo in the lives of my loved ones

And omg your last question led me very far, but I'll try to be brief (edit: i failed lol) :D so, as i read your notes, i was very surprised that it's considered an anti-Julia and pro-Mimi film (and seeing the points you have raised, now i can totally understand why). For me (even on my first viewing) it was never a Julia vs. Mimi thing. I've read it as a John vs John conflict (and this is the point where i start talking bullshit and/or total banalities. Feel free to correct me or argue with my points :D i always fancy a good argument). I've always seen him as a man with two conflicting sides: one is the whimsical, creative, free but overly emotional (consequently kinda unintegrable (i'm not sure if it's a real word lmao i hope it is :D) into modern western society) side (enabled by Julia), and the other one is the abandoned little boy who only wants to be loved, and is therefore ready (or even needs) to be controlled and steered in "the right direction" by others, hoping that they would not abandon him this way (and this side of him is fed by Mimi in a way in my opinion).

In my reading, both mother figures embodied and enabled one side of John, while actively trying to suppress or outright hurt the other side -- as, I think, John did in his own mind, constantly berating and hurting himself in the process. I thought Julia was so antagonistic (and i guess i was waaay more forgiving of her than i think an average person would be, because unfortunately in many ways her behaviour reminded me of myself), because imo society tends to frown upon overly emotional, somewhat detached and destructive, but free-spirited and creativity-enhancing behaviour, while supporting Mimi's "behave according to unspoken social rules and expectation, don't change the status quo, and suppress your emotions"-mindset, that she represented in the movie and tried to instil in John. (Seeing Mimi handle (and making John handle!!) Uncle George's death with coldness and complete suppression of emotions was just as painful and infuriating for me as the scene where Julia sent John away after all the (sometimes creepily inappropriate) lovebombing.) I have a theory that Paul was so important to John because he not only accepted but straight-up embraced (dare i say served) both sides of him. But probably i just see too much into all this xd

Sorry for the long, messy (and probably borderline meaningless) reply 🫣 i happened to have waaaaaay too many thoughts 😭😭

[deadn30n]

happy early 2024 !

posted a bit early as i'll be going to bed relatively soon, but i wanted to say something to usher in the new year!

as some of you know, i've been in the RPC for a very long time, but took a well needed hiatus a year or so back. i only recently returned mid-November && have not regretted that decision for a second. ♥ it's only been a month and a half, but it's been the best month and a half i've ever spent on this site. i admit i was nervous to return for a variety of reason ( mostly avoiding some rather negative people i originally split from this site to escape from ) but i've come to find that this space space i've built has fostered so much positivity for me, and i'm very grateful for that. i'm grateful for all the new friends i've made, all the connections i've forged, the writing i've done, and the plots i've gotten to explore! && as the new year approaches, i'm walking it into with quite a few new aspirations and hopes. i'm really, really thankful to everyone who's given me the time and chance to reach out and make a connection. to the people who've talked to me and told me they're excited for the release of my book, for my return to the vtubing community, for the times we play games together and just goof off.

i hope you know how much you all mean to me. i wish i could tag EVERYONE in this post but tumblr would kick my ass, but just know that i'm truly and honestly grateful and honored to have met the people that i have and look forward to talking more with all of you and getting to know you better. there are a few people i want to single out to shower with love who've supported me or have even known me from the LAST TIME i was on the site lmao

@goldenfists : you should already know you'd be the first on my list Joo Joo Bean. my beloved. we've known each other for what... 3 years now? roughly that, give or take, but you have no idea how much you really mean to me. from the moment we met i knew you were someone i wanted to keep in my circle. i adored you and still do; you've seen the changes i've gone through, the growth i've made, and supported every positive decision i've made. even when i finally built my first oc, and your first incentive was to foster a relationship between sett and eden and letting me know that you LOVED my creatives when i was so scared to take that first dive into making an oc. i love you so much dude. ;_; i'll never forget how you teased me on stream about my pronunciation of your name but then insisted i kept pronouncing it like that because you thought it was cute. i wish you knew just how much you mean to me, because words aren't enough to justify my feelings toward you. i love you Joo Joo Bean, i love you to the moon and back, and i can't wait to see what 2024 has in store for you and i, and our little blorbos @empyreous : ELLE!!!11 ELLE!!!!1 MY BELOVED PARTNER IN CRIME ON LEAGUE!!!! we haven't known each other for very long but god have i LOVED writing with you and goofing off in my favourite games. you've given me a brand new love for league and you're so fucking talented with your ocs and your writing that i'm just chomping at the bit for us to keep going. i literally can't wait to see what we end up developing for these silly little dudes and it makes me so very happy to have you in my corner. i wish you only the best in the world and i'm certain 2024 will give us so many more funny memories to cherish. save me eboi.... eboi save me....

@seeksmoon / @seekslight : softie you loveable little shit. you boyfriend stealing monster ( affectionate ). actually, if i was gonna share my boyfriend with anyone, it'd gladly be you. BUT JOKES ASIDE i'm really delighted we met and hit it off as well as we did. the way you write both alune and lux have me going GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK and i adore the dynamics we've started to built between yonealune and ezlux. we haven't had nearly enough time to hang out yet and that's a fucking CRIME if you ask me. i'm sure come 2024 though we'll have plenty of time to be a couple of goobers and mess around in league here on tumblr. you're such a sweetheart and even my bf talks so positively of you, and anyone that can make him happy makes ME happy. i hope you know you won't get rid of him and i so easily ♥ we enjoy hanging out with you, and we hope you do too :>

@ayahimes : astrid u ain't getting away from me i'm rapidly approaching ur location at mach 10. LFKDJASLKJDF i'm teasing i'm teasing but MAN i've had so much fun playing weague of wegends with you ( and looking forward to when we start playing ffxiv too ) but you're such a sweetheart man. a good energy, positive presence that i love being around ;v; i hope we'll get to play more in the future and chat more and get to know each other!! ♥♥♥

@mellodiies : misha all i'm gonna say is this year... you will be boiled.... ( this ask forever lives rent free in my head and i'm never going to stop laughing at this i hope you know ) ok but in all seriousness i'm so glad i worked up the courage to follow your blog because it's been a bucket of laughs and also seeing one of my childhood faves being doted over so lovingly just makes me so!!!!!!!!!!! i hope this year we'll be able to write ( and even if we don't i'm also content just observing your shenanigans bc they always brighten my day ). thank you for filling my dash with the little pep in my day that i need, you're a fucking goober and i adore you for it

@vulpesse : hi bunnie!! we never really got much of a chance to chat before ( we did get to write a bit in the past though, which i enjoyed! ) but i want you to know that you are one of my biggest inspirations on this site and i was so goddamn happy when i found you again that i hit the follow button so fast i think i broke my finger LMAO but seriously.... you're great. you have such a wonderful energy about you and you're so unbelievably talented with an indomitable spirit. i love seeing your posts every day, and i'm glad to share this same space as you! ♥ please never change, you truly are such a bright light in an otherwise murky world

@heartate : plum u know i couldn't forget about my favourite edgy thot. i fuckin love u dude. it's crazy to think we've known each other for like what? 10 years? like christ. and even though those first few years weren't filled with the happiest of memories, it's been my honor to be able to make amends with you. i always appreciated you for approaching me with that heartfelt apology. i never resented you, and even less so now that i knew the kind of awful situation you were put through back then. you didn't deserve the pain and abuse you went through, and i'm glad you're finally able to break free and grow. flourish and fill the world with your light, because you're a good person and i firmly stick by that notion. no matter what happened between us in the past, you've grown and i've adored watching it. i only hope you'll be able to continue to grow and enjoy the newfound freedom you have, and i am glad to be able to be by your side through it ♥ i'll always have your back miss rina, you can count on that :>

&& to some other lovelies who've made my time pleasant here; @lightshielded / @yoakkemae / @chiheru / @fairesky / @darkflyers / @attroxx / @mythcaels / @knifvd / @killerhubby / @erabundus / @mundmutter / @goddessrisen / @inhumann / @penddraig / @hiisfire / @raytm / @elicertis / @liightbringr / @un1awful / @vonerde / @gunrising / @cyneris / @trattcria / @cmdrace / @lovehungered / @trattcria / @pearlcure / @dnangelic / @starsenna / @nulltune / @toxichem / @longerhuman / @volonata / @misreputed / @ferinehuntress / @florspinae / @inufangs / @bishonenprince

&& to all of my lovely followers too! ♥ may your new year be filled with all the joy and love you deserve. may the new year treat you kindly and give you solace when you need it most. may the new year bless you with every bit of happiness you deserve c:

[henrysfox]

for the dialogue prompts nr. 10 >:)

i couldn't help myself, i had to make it dramatic lmao

---

The November air is particularly brutal today, Alex thinks. He's cold all over, shaking violently, but that might also have to do with ice cold water that is now covering him all the way up to his chest, he thinks hysterically.

He stopped trying to get his seat belt off a long time ago, deeming it futile, but Henry is still desperately trying to unbuckle it.

Alex's head hurts where he hit it on the steering wheel, and he feels dizzy and nauseous. Why didn't the airbag work? Shouldn't it have? They crashed and went off the Brooklyn Bridge, for fuck's sake. This is what Alex gets for convincing Cash and Henry's PPOs to let him drive for once. At least Henry's airbag worked, Alex thinks to himself. At least he's okay. Or as okay as he can be, considering.

He probably has a concussion, doesn't he? He can tell he's really out of it. He should be panicking more. They're about to die, after all.

He looks around the car that is slowly, but steadily filling up with water. Fuck. That's not good. He looks over at Henry. His beautiful, gentle Henry who is now trying to rip the strap of Alex's seat belt off the buckle. His movements are frantic and uncoordinated. Alex can tell he's scared, terrified even.

This is what makes Alex sober up a little bit. Shit. This really happened, it's not just a bad dream. He's not going to wake up in their bed with Henry wrapped around him. He might never wake up with Henry ever again.

"Hen," he croaks out, his voice barely a whisper, but Henry doesn't seem to hear him, too busy trying to free Alex from his confinement.

Alex tries to take in his surroundings again. It's dark and their car is filled up with water halfway through. The only light comes from above, undoubtedly from the bridge they had just been on. Henry's seat belt is off, thank god, and his window is still open. Thank fuck. Henry can still get out.

"Baby," Alex tries to get his attention, and it works this time. Henry looks up at him, his eyes wide and scared.

"Alex, fuck, please help me, darling. We need to get you out," Henry chokes out, his voice shaking and hysterical.

"It's no use, baby, it won't work," Alex whispers. He's not getting out of here, he realizes with a startling clarity.

He really thought he had more time. That they had more time. He was going to propose to Henry. They were going to move to Austin, live a normal life. He had a plan. And it's all gone to hell now, because he was a fucking idiot who wanted to drive his own car for once. Henry hadn't been so sure about it and Alex should have listened to him. They would have been home by now, instead of slowly sinking into the East River. But no, Alex needed to show off. Prove to Henry that they could live a normal life, without bodyguards, PPOs and constant media attention. And then someone crashed into them and sent them falling off the fucking bridge. Did they do it on purpose? It probably doesn't matter now.

"Alex, come on, we need to get out of here, love, please," Henry brings him back to the present.

Alex doesn't want to die. He really, really doesn't. But this situation isn't looking to good. So yeah, Alex doesn't want to die, but more than that he doesn't want Henry to die with him. Henry needs to get the fuck out of here. Henry needs to live.

"Baby," he tries again, but Henry is too busy trying to yank on his seat belt. "Baby, please," he starts again, his own voice growing thick.

Henry finally glances at him, and the expression on his face will haunt Alex for the rest of his apparently very short life.

"Hen, you need to get out of here."

"No. No, we're getting out of here together," he says firmly and pulls on the strap again. The water is almost up to their collarbones now. They don't have much time.

"Henry. It's not going to work. You need to get out of here. Your door is open."

"I'm not going."

"Henry, listen to me," but Henry doesn't pay any attention to him anymore, too busy trying to get Alex out of his seat. "Henry!"

"What?" he chokes out, hysterically.

"Baby, please, get out of here. You can do it."

"No."

"Henry, please," Alex's own voice cracks. He's terrified of what's going to happen if Henry stays here. He can't die. He can't. He deserves to have a long, full life. "Baby, you're not going to get this seat belt off, it won't budge."

"Then help me, damn it!"

"Sweetheart, look at me." Glistening blue eyes meet his, and Alex's heart is in his throat. "You need to get to safety, there is no time. Get out of here."

"No, I'm not going anywhere without you."

"Henry, you'll die."

"I don't care. I'm not leaving you," he sticks his chin out and it's Alex's undoing. He starts crying in earnest now.

Henry stops trying to get him out and rests their foreheads together. The water is all the way up to their chins now, and Alex's body has stopped shaking. He can feel a weird sense of calm overwhelming him.

"I love you," he whispers in the dark.

"No. You will tell me later. You will tell me tomorrow."

"Baby, I'm afraid there is not going to be tomorrow."

"Don't say that, someone will come for us, the PPOs were right behind us, they must have called for help. Someone must be coming, someone -" Henry is babbling. It's unlike him. It's Alex's thing.

"Hen, I love you," he tries again.

"I love you, too." Henry chokes out after a second. "I love you so much, Alex. Please hold on. Please don't leave me," he sobs.

Alex leans to kiss his forehead, right before the water rushes into his ears and his mouth.

As they're sinking, Alex swears he can see the blinding lights getting closer to them, he swears he can hear the door being ripped of the hinges, but his eyes close, so he rests his forehead against Henry's once again.

---

my hand slipped i guess, it was supposed to be short

[sollucets]

beloveds @khaotunq, @pranink & @alexshenry tagged me to do:

every month of 2023! list your favorite/most popular gifset for each month.

i started making gifs in march this year, so january/february are off the table for this. it's funny that it hasn't even been a full year yet. it seems both somehow a lot longer and also like i remain some kind of photoshop baby at the same time. the images in this post will remain undescribed until i have some energy in my failing body, unfortunately

in any case:

march: midnight museum invades all 2 of my braincells. i download photoshop. the end is nigh

most popular: msp/eclipse pool parallel set

favorite: the bams i made for sof

(notes: it's hard to look back at these lmao. what is coloring and why don't i know her. why is everything so dark. who told me to use noise dithering and why did i ever think that was a good idea. anyway)

april: the eighth sense is airing! i meet many mutuals and friends. i figure out about the curves tool (thank god)

most popular: taehyung getting dunked on

(very deserved dunk; very bad set. the coloring of this scene was extremely questionable and i did nothing to fix it it looks so dull and gray. augh)

favorite: feet lining up / jihyun & jaewon on the beach

i really like this coloring actually. it's bright enough to actually see them, their skin doesn't look as weird, and i like the soft pink i made the beach. a win for baby photoshop user rowan

may: the purple is in full swing now

most popular: purple yok

first set to cross 1k! the purple is still very good but in hindsight there are things i now know i couldve done to help his skin. in any case. a banger. beloved

favorite: pink our skyy 2 hands set

[through tears] you're my space. also my first try at typography

june: i lose the will to gif some in the back half of this month, but i also learn to do a Lot of new things, like gradient maps & more complicated typography and transitions and such

most popular: puzzle piece hugs!

deserved! hard to gif and fun to look at

favorite: i think it might be the heartliming i made for vi now! but i still like khathadome from eden too.

july: i try giffing a few different shows. the only friends trailer comes out on the last day and i enter some kind of terrifying fugue state

most popular: sand and ray fighting / crying in the ofts trailer

do you guys remember the trailer 1080p? life was so good

favorite: nobody appreciates my ride enough

august: only friends airs, eclipse anniversary is concurrent, i lose my mind. i also learn to use the method of brightening that i still use & several other fundamental gif tricks

most popular: sandray car makeout

good for them! i start using significant grain on my ofts gifs from here on out and can never decide how i feel about that

favorite: orange/blue eclipse episode seven set

september: the madness continues

most popular: sand cooking for ray / special

ive giffed this scene three times and this is my least favorite coloring but what can you do. this is my third post to cross 1k

favorite: new rules set! i had mixed feelings when i posted it but it's really grown on me.

october: the madness is so much worse. only friends ends and i am left near-catatonic immediately, apparently. also, i learn to blend and use overlays and some other cool things. i join userdramas :'>

most popular: raysand afterglow. as it should be. cheek kissie

favorite: space girl!! show me the stars!!!

loved making this. purple and sparkly and gay. still super proud. that said other runner-up favorites in october are ray's o-face & the boyfriend shirt & akkaye's thumb thing collection

november: i am left cavernously empty after ofts ends and i fill the void with namtan

most popular: last twilight episode one porjai

she <3

favorite: gaipa userdramas set

again, i learned to use musescore for this set just so i could have those pretty notes. :')

december: i am punched in the face by seasonal depression. all is not well. i made just one gifset this month, but at least it was good? :')

and here we are today !! it was very fun to look over everything; thanks so much for playing and have a happy new year everyone

[phillipgraveshusbandfr]

Because I'm getting back into writing, how about I write when Lynx and Graves met and fell in love :3 --------------------------------------- (Lynx POV with notes from Adler as he was the one who picked Lynx up from the airport. Written like a Journal) March 2019 I fucking hate customs. Of course I was pulled aside for being of Russian descent. They questioned me for hours (5 minutes - Adler). They mostly questioned about my prosthetic arm. The drive was long. I'm used to long (European long is like 45+ minutes - Adler) drives, but this was loooong. Who knew that going from New York city to Lancing, Michigan would be 10 FUCKING HORUS!! (Not that bad to be honest - Adler). We stopped a couple times for food and bathroom breaks. Adler had to do most of the talking since I only spoke Russian and broken English (And a couple other languages, Lynx's father taught him well - Adler). It was close to midnight when we finally got to Adler's house. A medium sized house in the suburbs. Close enough to the inner city for it to not be a bad drive and far enough so that the sounds of the city are quieter. He had a couple extra rooms. One for his son who visits occasionally, and a guest room for some of his old friends. I took the guest room with the assumption that his son would visit while I was staying (He did and now their married - Adler). It was nice, once I fully learned English, I started helping out with some chores. I even got to go shopping with Adler. We ran into an entitled bitch who I humbled (He threatened her in Russian. It was fun to watch. - Adler). ---------------------------------------- (still Lynx. It was a time skip. No more notes from Adler) August 2019 Adler has been pacing around for a while. His son is coming to visit and he's nervous because they've been talking to each other about me. Something about Adler being worried that I won't be what his son is looking for. I don't know what he means by that. August 2019 Holy fuck he's adorable. Phillip Graves, that's his name. Adler explained that his ex wife, Phillip's mother, took Phillip in their divorce and changed her last name back to Graves. It's a nice name. Phillip Adler doesn't have the same ring to it. No offence to Adler. Phillip runs a PMC called Shadow Company, says he wants me on the team. Thanks but I don't want to join another military group after what I went through in Konni. September 2019 I caved and joined. Shadow 0-2. That's my callsign. Most of the other Shadows are American. I felt out of place being there. I was put as second in command almost immediately. I don't think anyone liked me. October 2019 I'm having second thoughts about joining. I've tried being kind to the other Shadows. I'm mostly in my office working on paperwork but I also have to run training. They don't fucking listen. Found a raven near the lake behind base. It was hurt and I brought it in. Phillip was nice and helped me get it out of the water. I named him Reaper. November 2019 Had to break up a fight today, that might have gotten the Shadows to respect me. Phillip jokingly (God I hope) said that I looked hot disciplining the Shadows who got into a fight. November 2019 Found a little area where I can catch a break from the Shadows, my office and bedroom aren't safe, Shadows like to pester me while working and Phillip keeps breaking into my room. December 2019 My parents invited me back to Russia for Christmas, I want to go but at the same time, I'm kinda the reason my brother is in the Gulag. I've gotten closer with Phillip so I might spend Christmas with his family. One of the only times that Adler willingly goes to visit his ex wife. We're taking a train down to Mrs. Graves' house. ---------- This has gotten to long for Tumblr to autosave it lmao I will Reblog this with part 2!!

[hedwig221b]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thank you for tagging me @thotpuppy! I'm reading everybody's answers, it's so fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

46. Though only 14 of them in English.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

582,115 holy shit

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Teen Wolf. I've translated for Sherlock before, though.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. The Happiest of All (Sterek, Explicit, 32,5k, ER, Angst, Miscommunication, Stiles runs away from Derek thinking it's for the best. He's wrong) 2. Untouchable (Sterek, Explicit, 17,1k, ABO, Univesity!AU, Courting, Stiles is the new hot omega, bad boy!Derek is the only one allowed to get close) 3. Safe (Sterek, Not Rated, 974, ER, TW Movie Fix-it.) 4. Wait For Me (Sterek, Mature, 64,6k, Spark!Stiles, Cursed sterek, very soft and desperate, forever love) 5. Treasure (Sterek, Explicit, 71,2k, Historical AU, Courting, Heavy Angst, Derek saves Stiles and baby Eli from gold-digging suitors in the most feral and tender way possible)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I answer each and every one, except for emojis. I also stopped responding to comments on Safe because it exploded so quickly and there was an avalanche of comments and I got anxious and I'm still overwhelmed SORRY

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I cannot decide between Wait For Me and Treasure. In both Stiles loses people, willingly or not, and it's devastating that this is something he will have to live with. But both have happy endings, don't worry.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Lmao, it's pwp Devoured (Sterek, Explicit, 5,2k, Sex God!Derek, Human Sacrifice!Stiles). I mean, Stiles is getting fucked by Derek in front of the dozens of deities, and everyone is jealous of them.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, people have been very nice to me. Some people don't like how soft my Stiles is but it's whatever. However, I anticipate the hate from a certain character defense squad for the fic that's coming out in November. I hope they'll never find it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep. It's porn with feelings. And they MUST hold hands. Stiles moans and whimpers and Derek has a filthy mouth. Both are feral sluts for each other. Also monsterfucking. It's Derek Hale's fault, don't look at me, look at his tiddies

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, and, please, don't start

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. Though, I, myself, translated a lot of fics. It's a unique and wonderful experience. I don't think authors realize how deep into their heads we crawl, how we dissect every paragraph, every sentence, how much we immerse ourselves to convey what the author was trying to say. Some fics I banged my head over, they were so hard to translate. Others were so easy and wonderful, it was a joy to work with them. Yes, the last one was Waiting by isthatbloodonhisshirt. I fucking loved working on it so much.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and I don't see myself doing so.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

STEREK

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Listen. Mutual pining!Sterek, established!Cordia. In order to save the pack from the Monster of the Week, Stiles and Lydia have to work together to defeat it, and they cannot tell anybody what they're doing bc the pack will die if they do. Naturally, the cheating rumors start. Cora is furious, Derek is devastated. Stiles and Lydia see how much it hurts their loved ones, but they would rather have them heartbroken than dead. Only when Stiles kisses Derek goodbye before going to die for his pack, do they realize that something's amiss. It's so angsty and so epic and I've had this idea for over a year.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Purple prose. Conveying emotions. ANGST. I will make it my life mission to make my readers cry.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes (including smut because sex is an action scene). Sentences have to be quick, short, with lots of verbs and not a lot of time for emotions. I am not made for that! I try, though, I'm learning, HOLD ON. I also take a long time preparing for super emotional scenes, I just sit there and stare at the monitor and breathe anxiously.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Not a full dialogue, but small words like endearments HELL YES! I had an absolute blast with Treasure, having Stiles call Eli cute pet names in Polish. I feel somewhat comfortable with including Polish, bc my native language has the same/similar roots (?), so I understand when the Google Translate is spewing bullshit at me. I'd love Derek to speak more Spanish, but I know that GT is shit, so I have to stay away. Believe me, I know what it's like to read something in your native language and cringe bc of how wrong it is.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Sigh. Sherlock. I translated a fic and it ended up being an overnight hit and it's still the most popular Johnlock fic I've ever translated. The first fic I wrote myself was for Teen Wolf, Sterek. I would probably die from cringe if I looked at it now.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Treasure MY BABY MY LOVE MY FAVORITE CHILD ugh I'm so proud of it, of Stiles, of Eli and Derek in it. It's incredibly raw. I'm also currently writing a fic that's going to come very close to being my favourite. Maybe, even surpass Treasure. But now, I can say with all my heart that Treasure is my best work. Second is The Happiest of All.

This has been insightful and fun. Not tagging anyone, feeling shy, if you want you can steal the questions (hidden below)

20 questions for fic writers!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

[frost-felon]

@ my anonymous asker: Your initial ask got eaten by Tumblr, so I'll be posting this as a separate post. You had two asks, so I'll address them both here, which works well, as I started ranting about the femme rep, lmao.

absolutely, like, 100% agree with you on everything you've said about the horrific lack of development with the interpersonal relationships between all the characters in jjk. the unexplained timeskip before the gojo vs sukuna fight made me SO MAD !!!!!!!! seeing it mentioned offhandedly. did such a massive disservice to gojo's character having his reactions to multiple deaths simply written out and missed so many opportunities for a more fulfilling narrative.

in general i feel that the relationships between characters in jjk are so... flimsily written. i have whole essays about how completely unexplored yuji and kenjaku are and how all the characters post-culling-game have suffered in favor of dishing out cool fights with fake-feeling emotional stakes. gege please start writing fights in a meaningful way... more than that please explore character dynamics outside of a purely tactical/background info way... is this the same man who wrote hidden inventory

Second ask:

my god don't even get me started on yorozu. atp the 'gege hates women' jokes can't even be dismissed that lightly I saw tsumiki's reawakening in the last jjk episode and literally said out loud don't piss me off again

Ah, thank you. I've been a bit worried about the in-universe time in JJK. If I'm not mistaken, the story starts at some point in June, and for the Juvenile Detention Center Arc/Super Happy Fun Killing Yuji Time, some point in July. Of course, Shibuya happens on the day/night of October 31st, and likely the wee hours of November 1st. The entirety of the Culling Games Arc takes place in about two weeks of November, as I recall; actually, maybe less, since the very start indicates that Yuji was on the run for a week. So many short timeskips happened early on, and had negative effects on developing characterization and worldbuilding, both of which I've thought were weak since the beginning. Worldbuilding moreso, but characterization issues were especially apparent with the second-years of Tokyo JJH and all of the Kyoto cast. This caused quite a crunch on Culling Games, since so much needed to happen over a short period of time, leading to a jumbled, molasses pace.

It's actually really interesting to me that Sukuna would agree to postpone the fight to nearly the end of December, and this would have given us more time to explore the newer characters and solidify the older ones; we really needed more interactions between Yuji and others that weren't full of misery. Or seeing Gojo adapting to life back outside the Prison Realm, especially given that so much has changed; for a character that values reforming society and raising a self-assured, powerful new generation, losing that society should lead to a re-evaluation of his priorities. Or like...develop Ieri! Hana! Miwa! And kill off Mei Mei or actually address her position within the cast.

Yeah, one of my biggest problems from the get-go was feeling that Megumi & Nobara was a dynamic that had been left to the wayside, even during early Kyoto Goodwill Arc. And those had been characters that were meant to interact regularly...literally what attachment did Higuruma have to anyone that wasn't Yuji?¹ I adore Yuji's relationships, but he's barely been allowed to have any after Shibuya. How is Choso doing, now that the only people (Yuki & Tengen) not related to him are dead or robbed of agency?

Speaking of...hoo boy, Tengen is a hell of a topic to untangle. And most femme characters really don't get to do anything. Nobara is fun, but suffered since day one with a lack of plot presence, and literally being removed from battlefields/character conflicts, lmao. Ieri straight-up doesn't matter, especially as the manga goes on--but even in Hidden Inventory, which I do think is likely the peak of JJK, she has no real impact. You could basically replace her with a medpack, and little would change. Mai gets a very good conflict with Maki, but just about nothing between then and her death. Maki has given up her niche and much of what made her engaging to become...a serial killer on the good side, suspiciously Toji-shaped. I really didn't like Perfect Preparation, and I dread re-reading it.

But "Gege hates women" was less of a joke to me, and more a hyperbolic version of a statement that I do believe in: "Gege shows a clear apathy and disregard for his femme characters." I noticed very early on in my initial read-through (to the end of 145) that many of the femme characters were simply treated differently than much of the male cast, and often given less to do. One time that I was truly disgusted, though, was how Remi (the lady with hair like a scorpion's tail, and a dependent personality) was handled, even before her ultimate fate in Culling Games. So much of that simply rubbed me the wrong way, and felt genuinely offensive, both in regards to women and to dependent personality-type individuals. And what happened to her later...man, those panels gross me the fuck out with how much they sexualize a woman who's about to get trafficked. I definitely have a lot to say on that, but I want to make sure I can actually post this before Tumblr fucks me over again.

As a note, I don't use materials outside of the story to gauge the effectiveness of the writing (and it's also because I'm a Naruto fan, so I know the Hell of databooks, nevermind some of the other art I enjoy), but I may be missing some things. Feel free to continue to make asks or to reach out to me via DMs. I do enjoy discussing JJK, whether it be for things it does well, things it does poorly, or for other reasons.

¹We did get some Higuruma & Kusakabe, but this came in late, and then Higuruma died, lmao.

[princessclefairyberry]

Obligatory Info Post

Strawberry, 37, married, pan genderqueer afab, she/her or w/e really

Made this blog with the express purpose of just having a space to gather shiny things that make me smile, since literally all my other social media has degraded into constant living hell. Still working on finding peace and not falling into the "there's horrible things happening in the world and therefore I have to make that my entire personality" trap.

❤️ Harry Potter / ❌ JKR and all TERFs

Will I be safe here?

This blog is a mess of fandoms and topics, but if you'd like to hang around I'd like to assure you that it is safe here regardless of your race, sex, gender, orientation, religion, or the place you were born. I'm only human, though, so if I ever mess up please tell me!

To be especially clear (because there's a lot of spaces out there being exclusionary right), now that means this blog IS safe for you if you're transfem, transmasc, nonbinary or genderqueer of any expression, a woman, a man, an intersex person regardless of if you're part of the queer community, a queer person whose partner is of the "opposite" sex and/or gender, Jewish, or from Israel.

However, this blog is NOT safe for you if you're racist, a TERF, hate men, hate women, transphobic, gatekeep the queer community, support Hamas, antisemitic, an anti, tell people to kill themselves, or voted for Trump. Please keep this in mind if you fall under any of these labels, as this blog will occasionally come for you and I will happily block anyone who threatens to make this space unsafe.

Navigation:

Tag library under the cut! I am (as of November 7, 2024) still (read: just at the beginning of) adjusting, consolidating, and wrangling tags. This will likely take weeks! Thank you for your patience. ❤️

❤️ 🧡 💛 Tag Library for Navigation and Blocking Purposes 💚 💙 💜

Fandoms: #animal crossing #care bears #harry potter #drarry #lotr #my little pony #neopets #pokémon #sims #sims 4 #sailor moon #sailor moon crystal

General Interests: #architecture #art #fandom #fashion #food #interior design #plushies #writing (general writing/writer moods tag) #other people's writing #archaeology #history #humanity #queer stuff #wales #science! #nature (going to be curating this tag to only be the more informative or science-based posts, with aesthetic posts going into #nature aesthetic) #animals #bugs #cats #references (lots of links)

Aesthetics: #pretty ❤️ #rainbow #nature aesthetic #spring #summer #autumn #winter #halloween #christmas

Moods: #amazing #incredible #excellent lmao #oh my gosh #oh my god #oh my god lmao #🤣 #❤️ #bless (not religious) #laugh rule #positivity #shitpost #tumblr dot com #reblogging to show my husband (a specially-curated list ❤️)

Current/Past Events: #us politics #us elections #happy pride 🌈 #paralympics 2024 #olympics 2024

Stuff: #reblogging to save a life (PSAs, warnings, important info) #resources (lots of links, but this time for inherently serious topics) #gif (for safety purposes EVERY gif on my blog is tagged this, if you see one I missed please feel free to message!) #video (likewise with videos, if you see an untagged one hmu!) #boop #poll #tw: covid #tw: death #tw: vomit

[gogomeaty]

Tag game: 10 facts about you!!

Rules: Share 10 facts about yourself and tag other blogs! I want to get to know my mutuals, and the people I follow a little bit :) The facts can be about anything!

☆ Tagged by: @ir0n-moon, thank you!! ( ´ ∀`)/

I think I'm a really philosophical person, especially with my special interest, because almost every time they kinda show in my life before they become my special interests or hyperfixations. I usually call those moments premonitions idk, like when before Monty become my comfort character last year I had a dream with a baby alligator or how i remember hearing Skwisgaar solo when I was younger but i dont remember have ever seen it in tv so yeah, probably is dumb but I really like connecting my special interests/hyperfixations with the past and then I notice they kinda been around me all the time just waiting for the moment of me knowing about them. I also use them to remember parts of my life because if I remember I was obsessed with homestuck then it was when I was in high school bc I don't have a really good memory by years.

I love collecting nature stuff: i have leafs, rocks, feathers, acorns, dead insects, an old honeycomb and two pinecones because here is rare to find them so they're special to me. I also collect crystals and anime mangas. <:

Winter is my favorite season and when is beginning to be cold I feel like i reborn, idk how to explain the sensation but it feels good I guess is because i was born in November.

I love dancing and laughing, since i was little I was always dancing and taking everyone out to dance and i was a very giggly baby and now whenever i laugh it just make me instantly happy.

When you first met me irl I'm very serious and i usually don't speak that much but once i gain trust i speak a lot and im very loud lmao.

I also really like singing im pretty decent at it according to the theater teacher i had in uni lol

Usually im a very sensitive person but not exactly with the stuff i should be sensitive about idk, I can't never cry at funerals or stuff like that but if I see something sad about my special interests im all tears. It makes me laugh a lil bit because at those moments im crying but im always start to laugh at the same time. (｡-ω-)

I have the sense of style of a little kid because i only use graphic t-shirts and shorts or jeans, If I had money to buy clothes from the aesthetic i like i probably would dress like this: but i can't find long skirt like that for plus size ppl and thats other reason i dont dress like that lol

Savory food is my favorite usually im not a sweet tooth person unless is about apple pie or oreo milkshake, and I love milanesas con papas, pozole and chicken tenders.

Accents are so catchy and I can imitate them pretty good its the autism lol.

God I think it would be easier but this took me long time because i was not sure what to share jsjskak

Tagging (no pressure): @robinsnest2111 @nsfwitchy @atomic-jellyfish @a-dope-fiend @skyhunterriff @mr-nauseam @dicksoutformtl and whoever else who wants to do it :3c