#it's one am and pumpkin hour was several hours ago so these are sleepy thoughts

[laverrez]

soft suburban witchwood vibes where james' parents gifted him a house after his first military contract ended as a way to try to bribe him to stay home, and he's really unsure about it because this is his passion, but he's taking a small break to settle into his place and consider his options when he notices the for sale sign next door is gone and there are moving trucks in the drive.

initially he thinks it might be a family because there are a lot of large boxes and there's an exciteable golden retriever running around the yard, but there arent children in sight. a couple, maybe- the young woman rushing around is trying to micromanage everything and looks very stressed, but she keeps being caught and reassured by a man that seems to comfort her. a young couple, then, he thinks, watching out his living room window; that's nice, maybe the man is into some of the same things as he is, and they could get drinks sometime. he goes to make coffee and forgets for a few hours about the moving in happening next door.

later, he walks outside to check the mail and the man from before is making his way to his car, waving goodbye to the woman and wishing her luck, to call if she needs help with anything. the movers are gone now, and the dog is pressing itself firmly into the woman's legs, as though to support her. she looks scared and tired. she waves to the man and calls a thank you as he takes off.

she doesnt notice james watching her as she turns to look at the house, her house, for a long moment, her shoulders falling lower. she sighs so loudly he can actually hear it, and then sinks to the ground, becoming so much smaller in her little sundress, as her dog whines and nuzzles into her lap.

she seems sad, and he cant help but go up and introduce himself.

her name is glynda, the man was her friend ozpin, and her dog is button-bright, who "isnt very smart, but he's as good as a good boy can be". she's just finished her masters program at a local university and secured a job teaching science at a nearby high school, to start in the fall.

this is her first house, and it's too big for her. she isnt sad, though, she insists. she just needs a moment to breathe before she can go inside and start living in it.

james leaves her be. eventually, she does go inside, and he doesnt see her leave for a long while. he can hear button-bright barking and playing in the back yard occasionally, and he thinks he might bring her some sort of welcome dish.

he isnt sure, but he keeps thinking about her. a lot. too much. she seemed sad, despite what she said.

he has a weird feeling that she would have the most beautiful smile.

he thinks he wants to make her smile, maybe.

he thinks his mom would hate her, just based on what he knows so far (it isnt much).

he thinks he'll ask her out, if she settles in okay.

he isnt sure, but he thinks....he wants to stay a little longer to find out.

[madartspot-blog]

Dirty 30

I suppose most people think of Fall as the season for Pumpkin Chai Lattes but I think of it as the season for introspection and new beginnings. It is my personal new year on October 30th and this year I have finally reached the ‘Dirty 30’ which I have longed for for many years now. Don’t ask me why, I just somehow thought that it was going to be my magical number and that life would slow down, I’d stop moving around so much and I could take a moment to breathe without feeling the pressure of my 20’s forcing me to go be young and wild when I really want to be 30 and calm. This year I've decided to go with my significant other and friends to Cloudland Canyon for a birthday weekend camping and hiking trip. To celebrate the season I play my favorite movies in my studio while I work or clean up. Hocus Pocus, Practical Magic, Sleepy Hollow, The Addams Family are among my favorites. I am not ashamed to say that I have watched Hocus Pocus three times and it’s not even October yet. When I say that I watch these movies it’s more about listening. I wouldn’t get anything done if I were actually watching them. They keep me company while I’m spending hours alone working. I know them so well that I don’t have to watch the scene anyway.

I also enjoy my podcasts like “Serial Killers,” "Serial,"  "S-Town," “Locked Up Abroad,” “Ear Hustle,” which is quite personal for me as I have had a brother in San Quentin State Prison for several months now. “Criminal,” “Unsolved Murders: True Crime Stories,” “Lore,” “Homecoming” and occasionally “Strangers.” When I’m not listening to podcasts I listen to music. I'm hooked on Celtic Radio right now. It's powerful! Any music that makes me want to dance or get excited is not what I need to hear when doing tedious work. I hammer, grind, solder, etc. and these actions can be loud, dirty and messy so anything that slows me down or that I feel detracts from my concentration doesn’t have a place in the studio. Oftentimes, though, I work in silence. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I do work faster and better when there is no other distraction. I usually go many hours in silence and towards the end of the day when I’m starting to kick it into overdrive, have my second round of caffeine or take a break to let the dog out again, then I allow myself to listen to something because I’m going on over 8 hours anyway. The next several hours to all night will have sound because there is a threshold for focus and introspection! I learned how to sit in silence in Peace Corps. I learned the power of it and how easy it is to meditate while working. My brain isn’t turned off but my thoughts often are. I’m just working. My brain is telling my hands how to move and what to do next but I’m not thinking about anything else and often I don’t have to think much about what I’m doing, I just have to do it.

Because I spend so much time alone I do have to make sure that I get the social events in where I can fit them. I do love an excuse to let my hair down and laugh with good people. This includes weekend trips and yoga classes. One place in Atlanta where I can always count on a good time is Blind Willies. This month I went to visit a friend in Dallas, Texas. We went to Fort Worth for an afternoon and ran into Trey from “Trey’s Chow Down.” He’s a food critic among other things. I learned more about steer from he and his friend in thirty minutes than I’ve learned in a lifetime! I got to enjoy drinks at Filthy McNasty’s Saloon, Lil’ Red’s Longhorn Saloon where we watched swing and country dancers get their groove on while sitting in wonderfully created aluminum bar stools. The stools were shaped like a voluptuous woman’s butt and thighs wearing underwear, cowgirl boots and a garter (the chair was wearing these items, not me). We also made our way over to Love Shack for a refreshing beer outside under a misting fan. Texas would die without their misting fans, I’m convinced.  We enjoyed some awesome food around Dallas like Hattie’s,  Jonathon’s Oak Cliff and the Goat Rodeo. I would certainly weigh a solid twenty pounds more if I had stayed there a week. Everything I ate and drank in Dallas and Fort Worth was so tasty and so worth every calorie that I just didn’t care about the nutritional value of any of it. It made me smile, it made me happy. But the happiest that I felt all weekend was in Adobe Western Art Gallery where the owner showed my friend and I his favorite pieces. I fell in love with Western Art in this gallery because he had some of the best pieces of Western Art I’ve ever seen. From contemporary to traditional he had all of it covered. Sculpture, paintings, photographs and my personal favorite was the furniture. It was to die for, I thought so anyway. I would fill my home with it in a heartbeat. My favorite artist was a woman named Dawn Swepston and I fell in love with “One Night with Barb.” I want a print so badly I can already envision it over my bed. Oh, I could just stare at it for hours. I can only imagine how lovely the original must be. Sigh. When art moves me like that I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t feel moved by art regularly. It’s like finding your new favorite book. You’ll remember it forever and tell everyone to read it.  Dawn, I’m getting married soon. Can we strike a deal? I want to be you when I grow up!

I have also found myself a great place to practice Ashtanga Yoga here in my small town of Fayetteville, Georgia. The Yoga Loom is now my yoga home. I am getting reacquainted with a practice that I have taken many breaks from but also with which I have a long relationship. I began practicing yoga the first year I moved off to college. I’ve been practicing ever since. Ashtanga and Acroyoga being my favorite forms of this practice. I’m a monkey. I always have been. I’m athletic but don’t like to compete in any formal way. I do like to push myself but having a ripped up abdomen has never been my goal. I like testing my balance, strength, endurance and emotional self. I have a lot of stressors in my life and family is a big one at times. I have found myself feeling very angry over some changing circumstances with these important relationships. I work very hard to let art, yoga, my positive relationships with people and animals fill my heart with the love and peace that I need to let forgiveness take place. This has been a much bigger challenge lately than usual. After a physically demanding hour and half in yoga several nights ago where I’m begging to lay on the mat at the end of class (too much mat time in a yoga class annoys me, make me earn that mat time or else I feel like I’ve just come to have lunch with the yoga moms!) we finally got there and I closed my eyes, relaxed my body and then felt the emotions come rushing up to the surface like a dam had just broken. I fought to hold back tears but the heat of the tears around my eyes made me even more aware of all that powerful emotion laying just under the surface of my skin. Just when I think I can just show up and not have to connect with anyone else in the room emotionally...

Discipline is everything when you are self-employed and as an artist. I am constantly trying to improve, stream-line and get the most out of the routine that I have created for myself. A new series is in the works, constant website work, marketing and bookkeeping are always floating around in my brain. I also work much of the time on commissioned jewelry pieces and custom lines of jewelry for specific groups of people. I am constantly thinking about the brand of ArtByMAD and what this means to me, the consumer and what I want it to mean to those two parties. Just like all of the various aspects of running the business, I too have to divide my personal time between exercise, nutrition and my fiancé to make my world go ‘round.

I am always excited to partner with other artists. I have commissioned some crocheted jewelry work from Under the C, here in Brooks, Georgia so that I can add my pendants to the chokers. They are beautiful and I can’t wait to offer them to the public. I will be continuing to keep these items updated on my Instagram, Facebook and figuring out how I want to introduce jewelry to my website. I want to make everything as simple as possible for myself and the customer.

Please feel free to contact me anytime for any reason. I am always looking for new artists with which to collaborate, new inspiration and feedback about my existing work. Thank you all for reading and caring. Happy Fall!