#it's on my mind because I was gonna captain post last night until I found out my colors were way more saturated + bright than intended

[squirtbagging]

i want splat ocs.... <-- guy who has no energy or current interest in creative development

[starrygalazy]

I'm at a lake house with family for vacation right now. Tired tho so I'm gonna make a Mei journal bc I've wanted to do this for a while and, well, I truly got nothing better to do. Hell idk if I'm even gonna post this. If I do, then enjoy :D (also spoiler, at the end there is a section dedicated to Meiji, so if you don't like that then it's easy to skip)

We just finished another mission in [ENCRYPTED]. It went as well as it could have, not very different from Toronto. We still haven't found a way to remove the subjugator helmets, but Mr. Lindholm is saying the Omnics are unharmed and safe for now which is good.

~~~~~~~

POST-[ENCRYPTED] JOURNAL

I'm trying to be around the other agents more than stay huddled in the science wing, which has been fun! Lucio and D.Va are asking me lots of questions about my travels (they want me to keep posting my journals about my adventures) and my experiences. I tell them stories about Captain Opara and the rest of my former team, which still makes me a little sad but I think I'm hiding it good. Zarya and Cassidy have started training me for combat (Zarya's workouts are so tough!), and my aim and strength have steadily been improving. Snowball has been adjusting much faster than me. He's still a little shy, but he's too friendly to not get along with. Everyone pets him if he approaches them, and he loves it. Just wait until he starts stealing their socks!

It's weird to be back around so many people. My last few weeks in Antarctica were just me and Snowball, then when I got to Winston it was him and Tracer. And now we have a whole team, and maybe we'll be getting more agents soon. I missed the bustle of people, but it's still exhausting to be surrounded by so many people, so much noise, so many more dishes to be cleaned. I think I need more of a break. Maybe some sleep will help me out, I haven't gotten a real good night's rest yet. I'm going to try and get some sleep now, since I've written so much already.

Agent Mei signing off! (I still can't believe I'm saying that now.)

EDIT: It's about 2 in the morning. I'm very tired, but I want to write this down because I can't get it off my mind. I just had a nightmare- a really bad one. I woke up with tears on my face and in a cold sweat, and Snowball was nudging me. I must have been screaming or making some kind of noise, because Genji was in my doorway and asked if I was okay. He sounded concerned. I didn't want him to worry though, so I kept saying I was alright (though he wasn't believing me). Then he did something I didn't expect; he left for a moment then came back with some chamomile tea. He asked me if I'd like to meditate with him to ease my mind, and I agreed. We sat and meditated for maybe thirty minutes, and I was surprised but it helped a lot. Afterwards he asked me if I felt better, and made sure I was comfortable before leaving. It was just a really sweet gesture but I also noticed he has a very soothing voice. He did a good job at calming me (and Snowball) down.

I'll thank him in the morning. I heard from Cassidy and Dr. Ziegler that he likes chocolates, maybe I can make him some hot cocoa.

~~~

Hey ho thx for reading, lost motivation towards the end but I hope you liked reading!

[cjsinkythoughts]

FATWS One Shot #3 - Stars, Stripes, and Bubbles

Word Count: 1912

Warnings: Cursing, Fluff, erm…a Relationship that You Want to Happen but Know Never Will

Setting/Characters: The first part of Captain America: The Winter Soldier in 2014 after Steve’s hostage mission; Reader, Steve Rogers, mentions of Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, and Nick Fury

A/N: This…isn’t what I thought it was gonna turn out to be. But I like it, it’s cute, and I needed something pure with the shield after that ending scene, so I’m posting it.

I have a few more One Shots planned that take place during TWS so I’ll be writing those today and tomorrow. This week is a lot less hectic than last week (I was being trained in another area of my job last week, hence crazy hours), so expect more One Shots coming this week. Again, I’m trying to post them chronologically, but there might be some out of order depending on what you guys request and when, which is totally fine!

For today, I have the Reader meeting Sam (which is kinda what this was supposed to be, but…oh well) and more about the notebook planned. Also Reader meeting Bucky unofficially for the first time because he’s, you know, brainwashed and stuff. Later this week I’m planning on AoU stuff which will include the Party Scene and Wanda interactions.

If I can get through those by Friday when the new episode comes out, I’ll start on CA:CW which will include Reader officially meeting Bucky and possibly the airport scene if you guys are interested in that. Then I’ve got some Wakanda scenes and some Peter interactions. If not, I’ll start CW:CA next Sunday. Once the backstory is set up and completed chronologically, I might go back and just write some drabbles and stuff of random moments - kinda like this one. 

I did get a request earlier for Bucky’s perspective on the dancing scene in Part 4.2, so I’m planning on doing more rewrites of scenes in Bucky’s perspective, but that’ll come after the One Shots, so hopefully next week.

I think that’s all…umm…yeah. Once again, not beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you so much for reading! I’m so glad you’re all enjoying this almost as much as I am! Be kind to yourselves and others! Enjoy reading and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

The beeping of the timer made you groan and set down the book you were digging into. You were just starting to get to the good part, but the food smelled so good, so you decided it could wait.

You were so focused on your task of getting your breakfast ready that you didn’t hear your front door open or the footsteps that followed it shutting, the thud of boots hitting the floor just around the corner. Setting the ready food on the counter, you jumped at the arms that wrapped around your shoulders and waist.

“Shouldn’t you be more observant for a spy?”

You gave a hum at his deep voice, tilting your head slightly as he placed his cheek on your shoulder, nose pressing up against the column of your throat. “Shouldn’t you be heading over to the Triskelion for your debriefing with Fury?”

He growled at the mention of the mission he was just sent on yesterday morning. The first few assignments he had surprised you with how quick they were over, but then you remembered yours were a bit different than his and you got used to him being back within the next couple days.

“We don’t have secrets right? I’m so fucking tired of secrets.”

Your eyebrow quirked up as you turned to face him, his hands slipping down to your hips. You took in his state; he was still in uniform, dirt on his face, hair unruly, the shield on his back gray with the dust that covered it. He obviously hadn’t even gone to his own place yet, meaning he just got back. “What happened?”

He huffed, letting go of you to rub his face tiredly. “Natasha. She didn’t tell me that Fury sent her to do something other than what we were supposed to be doing.”

“They’re spies, bubs. It’s what they do.”

“You’re a spy. You wouldn’t do that.”

Chuckling a little at his comparison, you shook your head. “Our relationship is a little…different than yours and Nat’s.”

“I wish they’d put you on my missions. I don’t know why they don’t. We work well together, don’t we?”

You snorted. “That’s probably the reason.” At his confused look, you shook your head. “Never mind. Just…we’re closer. I know you better than they do. You can’t compare them to me. It isn’t fair.”

He grumbled, eyes glancing down to your feet. “They still should’ve told me.”

“Hey,” you tilted his head back up to meet your gaze. “It was a hostage mission, right?” He nodded. “Did you save the hostages?” Another nod, which made you shrug. “Then there you go. You did your job and you saved people. It was a success. That’s all that matters.”

“He got away.” Steve argued. “He got away because she didn’t feel the goddamn need to tell me-”

“She was following orders. Don’t be mad at her.”

“You’re right.” His quick admission stunned you for a moment, until he continued speaking. “It’s Fury’s fault. I think I’m gonna go-”

He started moving away, but you tugged him back, shaking your head again. “Not yet, bubba. You can talk to him later. Let’s get you cleaned up first. Then we’ll eat and you can tell me how that run you went on yesterday was. Okay?”

His features softened and he nodded, setting his forehead against yours. “Okay.”

You had half of your dresser sectioned off for Steve’s things. SHIELD had moved him to DC about a year previous to be closer to HQ, especially after the Helicarrier became decommissioned for repairs. You already had an apartment in DC - it was where you stayed for the most part, hence the reason you were more than willing to stay in New York for a couple years. 

The moment he moved in about ten minutes from you, you knew, just like in DC, he’d be spending a lot of time at your place. Which is why you made the executive decision to have him bring a bag over one night and unpack his stuff.

It wasn’t the first shower he took at your place and it most certainly wouldn’t be the last.

While he was cleaning up, you got to work washing his suit and the shield. You teased him by saying you’d just throw his suit in the washer and the shield in the dishwasher, but you wouldn’t actually.

His suit was air drying by the window and you were at the sink scrubbing off the shield, wishing you had a backyard and a hose, when he padded back into the room, hair plastered to his forehead, dripping down his temples, sweats and a t-shirt clinging to his body. He shook his head, leaning on the counter besides you. You always found it amusing how big he looked in your tiny kitchen.

“You know you don’t have to do that, right?”

You scoffed. “If you think I’m gonna let you walk around in that disgusting thing all day, you, my friend, are nuts.”

He chuckled, moving behind you and setting his chin on your shoulder, his larger hands stopping yours from their movements. “At least let me do this, then.” He murmured, taking the scrub brush from you, spreading the bubbles over the rings of the shield.

“You can help me. But I like finishing what I started.” You whispered back, reaching for a clean rag and dunking it into the soapy water, wiping down the star in the middle.

He placed a gentle kiss to your jaw, relenting easily. “Fine.”

You two worked in silence, the water running over the shield, taking the dirt and grime with it, hands occasionally brushing each other. Almost finished, Steve placed his hand over yours, moving it over to a certain spot. “The brush won’t get it.” He explained, his low voice sounding right beside your ear.

Smiling, you turned your head to look at him. There was a crease between his brow as he concentrated on getting rid of the smudge on the precious metal. Your lips turned up when you noticed a dark spot on his jaw he must’ve missed. He looked at you with a grin when you started giggling. “What’s got you giggling so pretty, honey?”

Letting go of the side of the shield you were holding, you reached up to wipe the dirt on his jaw that he missed with your thumb. “Can’t let that handsome face of yours get stained. And, speaking of stains,” you turned back to the shield, holding it up for the both of you to look at, the soft light from the window above the sink making it shine even more. “You think we got it all?”

“Hmmm. I think you missed a spot.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What? Where?”

He leaned closer to the shield, face right besides yours, cheeks practically brushing together. “Right…here.” His hand that you didn’t notice cupping water, came up and splashed your face.

You let out a shriek, stepping back, further into his chest, your jaw dropped. “Steven! My pjs!”

He cackled, leaning back and holding his chest, before gasping when you did the same thing back to him. “You’re on!” He grabbed his shield and filled it with water, making you squeak and try getting out of his hold. Stupid Super Soldier strength. He dumped it on you, water falling on your head, sliding down your back and making your pajamas stick to you. You quickly retaliated, grabbing the facet and turning it towards him, laughing at his shout.

The water fight continued for a few more minutes, bowls and cups coming into play, with Steve diving behind the counter and you slipping on the floor.

“Woah, there, honey!” He chuckled, the chortles coming from your lips reassuring him that you weren’t hurt. He leaned over you, reaching his hand out. “You okay?”

You nodded, taking his hand. “Let’s call it a truce, yeah?”

“Truce? Hell no! I won!”

“You did not! You just got lucky!”

He pulled you up, tugging you close. “Alright, alright. Fine. A truce. Let’s get you into some dry clothes, now. Don’t want you gettin’ sick, honey.”

You shook your head. “That’s actually a myth.”

“I’ll take note of that.”

An eyebrow of yours raised. “In that little notebook you never let me read?”

He smiled innocently. “Maybe. I added something else yesterday.” He informed you while tugging you down the hall to your room.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Marvin Gaye’s Trouble Man Soundtrack.”

You hummed with an approving nod. “Yeah. That was a good suggestion. Who gave it to you?’

“This guy I met on my run.” He shrugged, heading over to his dresser as you grabbed a couple towels. “Sam Wilson. He seemed like a good guy.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded, grabbed another set of sweats and a shirt, before turning to you and taking the towel you handed him. “Yeah. He served two tours in Afghanistan. Now he’s working down at the VA. Told me to drop by sometime.”

“Aww.” You stood on your tiptoes to ruffle his hair. “My bubba’s all grown up and making friends.”

He rolled his eyes, ducking away from your hand and running his own through his hair. “Yeah, yeah.” His smile dropped as he looked at the clothes in his hand. “I think I’m gonna head out now. I should talk to Fury.”

You frowned. “You have all day, Steve. Just eat first, okay?”

“Okay.”

He was holding something back, you could tell. Picking out your clothes for the day, you decided to question him about it. “What’re you thinking about?”

Your backs turned to each other, you started changing, just as you’d down countless times before. “I was thinking about going to the Air and Space Museum again. If you wanna come.”

“You know I do.”

It was quiet for a few more minutes, only the sound of rustling clothes and zippers filling the air. “I-I think I’m gonna go after. To see her, I mean.”

You froze, keeping your heart and your breathing steady so he wouldn’t pick up on anything. “It’ll be good for you. She…she always knows what to say.”

“So do you.”

You cleared your throat, finishing with the final touches of your outfit. “I actually forgot that I have some stuff to finish up at HQ today, so I dunno if I’ll be able to go-”

His hand grabbed your wrist, turning you around, eyes pleading and face fallen. “Please. Please come with me. Honey. I need you there. With me. Please.”

You inwardly cursed yourself for falling for those puppy eyes, a soft sigh leaving your lips. “Okay, bubs. I’ll come with you.” You might regret it later, but the relief that washed over his features was worth it for now. The power he had over you scared you, especially since you knew he didn’t realize the hold he had on you, but you couldn’t help it. It happened quickly, swiftly, and you were down before you recognized it. And you didn’t know how to deal with it other than taking it one day at a time.

“Let’s go get some breakfast, now. I can promise it’s at least decent.”

The beam he shot you made your heart flutter no matter how hard you tried keeping calm. “I’m sure it’s better than anything I could ever make.” He pulled you close, lips brushing over your forehead. “Thank you.”

“For what?” You sighed, leaning your head against his, eyes closing.

“Existing.”

***********

***********

***********

All Works Taglist (Open):

@happygoreading​

@bibliophilewednesday​

[that-damn-girl]

(1) Daze of Pollen

(Work in Progress - 1 of 8; Slow updates)

Daze of Pollen Materlist

Pairing: (cis)fem!Reader x Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x Sam Wilson

Words: 1800+

Warnings: None except language?

Summary:  Bucky, Steve, Sam and you are in the safe house post mission when a retrieved Hydra device activates, releasing a kind of pollen you don’t know of, but the effects of which are soon discovered.

A/N: To all my horny bitches out there, I’m sorry the first chapter isn’t smutty. I didn’t plan on keeping the entire first chapter as the intro but it just...happened. Also, This is my submission for @buckyssoul​​ ‘s Rae Hit 1k Marvel Writing Challenge. I’m sorry for the delay. Hope you like it!

It is a strange concept, really. We don't always get what we want. But  if we do, it's when we least expect it, in the most strangest of ways as well.

Call it your good luck, fate, destiny, a simple mere coincidence, or whatever. You were grateful for that night in the safe house regardless. For the first and the last time, you could say that you were thankful for a little Hydra contraption.

It all started during a peaceful dinner. You and your group of friends were relaxing after a successful mission, treating yourselves with any and all comfort food available in the safe house. The mission was anticipated to be much harder than usual; the only reason why Bucky and Sam had asked you and Steve to accompany them. Quite unexpectedly, the mission went smoothly and it seemed there was no need for the extra help they had requested. But considering the mission consisted of scoping out an abandoned Hydra base, being overly cautious was preferred than being overconfident. One never knew the levels of villainy Hydra truly possessed.

Oh, you were about to discover the truth in that statement just fine.

Bucky sat across from you on the dining table, Sam to your right. The duo played catch with a balled sheet of paper, their half eaten meals abandoned on the table. You and Steve conversed with them while enjoying your respective sandwiches.

It was true that Steve had given up his Captain America mantle to Sam, a man just as deserving of the title, but hadn't completely retired. He didn't get out on the field anymore, but used his excellent strategic skills in planning the missions sometimes, especially if it included Hydra. 

All of you would have been enroute to the Compound had Rhodey and Scott not hogged the quinjet. None of you minded though. With the four of you together, it was very much like a quiet night in with close friends. Unbeknown to you, it wasn't going to be particularly quiet much longer.

"Does it smell funny to anybody else here?" Bucky asked, pausing midway while rocking his chair. Squinting his eyes, he glanced around himself to locate the source of the smell, a deep frown etched onto his features.

Steve took a tentative whiff, you and Sam doing the same. "No pal, I don't smell anything."

"It's…" Bucky closed his eyes, taking in deep inhales. "It's faint but it's there. I'm sure of it." 

You and Sam glanced at each other, a raised eyebrow followed by a shrug. Suddenly Bucky sat up with a start, his gaze fixating on a corner of the room. Following his line of sight, you found the hard black stacked containers with the Shield logo which held the Hydra files and devices you had retrieved from the base earlier in the mission. 

"It's coming from there, I think." Bucky stood up and reached the stacked containers in only a few long strides. Before any of you could stop him, he lifted the cover to inspect its contents. 

Immediately a puff of bright yellow powder-like substance was released from the inside, as if a smoke bomb had been triggered. Bucky coughed as the coloured dust hit his senses. It didn't take long for the particles to dissipate in the air. Soon the clean air around you was shrouded with the yellow dust, leaving all of you a coughing mess.

"What is it?" You wondered, one hand waving in front of your face to get rid of the dust while the other protectively covered your nose. It was no use though. It was everywhere, the particles so fine they slithered through the gaps between your fingers. You could do nothing but inhale it as you coughed helplessly. The particles stuck to the insides of your mouth. You couldn't feel them on your tongue or the roof of your mouth, but the dryness that followed was a sure shot indication. The tangy scent of it overwhelmed your senses, making you wonder how could you have missed it.

"Look inside the container, Bucky. See what released it." Sam instructed with broken words in between the coughs.

"Fucking Hydra," Steve muttered under his breath.

Following Sam's orders, Bucky peeked inside and pulled out a wooden cube. It was small enough to be grasped in his palm. One of its faces had the ugly red symbol of Hydra painted on it. The cube was heavily cracked along the sides. Had Bucky not held onto it firmly, it would have fallen apart right then. 

Sam, you and Steve drifted closer to Bucky as the yellow dust gradually dissipated into nothing - or rather as the most of it was already inhaled by you all. The cube appeared to hold some carvings in a language you supposed was Russian. 

"I...don't...understand…" Bucky's fingers drifted across the letters as he tried to make sense of it. "Fuck!" With widened eyes, Bucky retraced the words, confirming what he had read. Throwing the cube across the room, he started pacing the room, his head hidden behind his palms. 

"Come on, man, you're scaring me." Steve said, approaching his friend.

"You should be!" Bucky yelled, all his frustrations coming out on the wrong person. He loudly groaned, rubbing his forehead, "I'm sorry. It's just that…"

"What is it, Bucky?" You asked.

Bucky looked at you, his gaze sweeping over your form. He bit his lip, an almost remorseful look coming over in his eyes. In a much softer voice, he said, "I don't know how to explain it. I don't know where to start."

"Do you know what the yellow dust we all inhaled was?" Sam asked. 

Bucky replied after a long pause. "It was a sort of pollen which Hydra had engineered." 

"Hydra modified...pollen?" You asked. The idea sounded as bizarre to you as snow in the Sahara. "What?"

"No- Well, um, yes," Bucky took a deep breath before he started explaining. "Hydra could never replicate the super soldier serum they used on me. But they needed more super soldiers. It hardly ever happened that anybody else would succeed in recreating those serums so that Hydra could steal. They decided that if they couldn't transform using the serums, they would...breed super soldiers. That's when Project Growth started. These pollen were engineered to assist in it." 

"How did the pollen assist Project Growth?" You asked, confusion dripping from your voice.

Bucky glanced at you but quickly diverted his gaze, unable to keep the eye contact. "Project Growth was about using super soldiers like me and those four others to... impregnate willing women. Conception with super soldiers is harder than usual for some reason. So they came up with this pollen to aid the process. It's an aphrodisiac. They called it sex pollen, because well, it increases one's sexl drive... by a lot. So much so that it might be fatal if the person exposed to it doesn't, you know, climax."

"What? Are we gonna want to fuck like rabbits then? Become Hydra's breeding bitches?" Sam asked, crossing his arms in front of him.

"The experiments were never successful. They did it a couple of times and it never resulted in a pregnancy. This box," Bucky gestured to the broken cube lying on the floor, "I don't know how or when but it got activated somehow." He shrugged helplessly. "I have no idea if the pollen inside it was a sample of those failed experiments or if that of a new one. Either way, we don't have long before the effects would start showing."

There was a lull in the room, the implications of what Bucky said sitting heavy on everyone's minds.

"We can keep ourselves locked in our separate rooms until it wears off to...get ourselves off." Steve's cheeks were tinged a deep shade of red as he proposed the idea.

"It's not that easy. Trust me, I've been through it." Bucky looked at Steve. "It's something about needing another person's touch; a sense of intimacy. No matter what you do on your own, it won't ever be enough. It would send you in a daze of lust, where the only thing you could focus on would be to anyhow satiate yourselves. You would desperately want another person to touch you, no matter who or what gender. You'd need them to touch you." He glanced at each one of you. "I'm sorry, but it's going to be nasty."

"So what you're saying is, it's basically fuck or die?" Sam said.

"When you put it that way…" Bucky tried to think of a better phrase but finding none, he replied, "-Well, yes."

"I don't know what to say," You crossed your hands in front of your chest. To say that you were shocked was a massive understatement. You couldn't even begin to believe that any of it was true.

Unconsciously, your gaze drifted over each of the men in the room. They all stood with a hard look on their handsome faces, lost deep in thought. You weren't sure if it was you or the pollen due to which you felt yourself get wet, your panties gradually dampening and sticking to your form. 

Truth be told, you had always wondered what being with these men would feel like, what fucking them would be like. Would Sam choke you in a sensual manner with those bulging arms of his? Would Bucky keep you pinned to the bed with his thick thighs? What would gripping America's Ass feel like when Steve would be pumping his length into you?

You bit your lip, your mind conjuring up a train of lewd images. You wondered if it all would come true that night. Though you had considered them insanely attractive since the day you had met them, you never dared to act upon any of your desires with either of them. They were your close friends, and you'd be damned if you'd destroy it for a night of pleasure.

Now though, you had no other option but to fuck them if you valued your life. On any other day you would have laughed boisterously had anyone suggested such a thing, but it was your reality right then. 

You realized it didn't have to be a necessarily bad thing though

Huffing dramatically, you stood straighter, hands falling by your sides. With a newfound confidence, you asked, "Well then, what are we waiting for?"

"What?" Steve asked, dumbfounded. 

"At one point or the other, we would eventually go crawling to someone. I don't think we'd be in control of ourselves if it would make us that desperate. Avoiding the inevitable makes no sense. It's better to start it while we are still able to make conscious decisions and consent to being with each other. At least I'd prefer that."

The men looked at each other, a silent conversation happening amongst them. Bucky asked, "Are you sure, Y/N?" 

You smiled. "I am, Bucky. If it's gonna be this way, then I'm glad it's the three of you. Are you guys sure though?"

Bucky glanced at Sam and Steve before smirking, "You bet we are, babydoll."

You walked closer to Bucky, standing on the tip of your toes as your arms curved around his neck, excitement thrumming through your veins. "Let's get this show started then."

Chapter 2

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[oopsitsstella]

Happy Birthday Captain

Steve Rogers x Reader

Fandom: The MCU

Summary: An early morning on July 4th

Warnings: Fluff. That’s all this fic is, it’s fluff. Mentions of HYDRA and Avengers missions, but it’s very brief

A/N: I started writing this at 1am because I realized it was Steve’s birthday, and I desperately wanted to post something for the occasion, and my mind didn’t let it wait until it was actually day time

It was early.

Y/N often found herself having this problem of waking up way earlier than necessary, and then not being able to fall back asleep. Today was one of those days, apparently, but this time she wasn’t complaining too much. She did have a very nice view, after all.

Steve was still asleep. He’d gotten back from a mission late last night, and was unsurprisingly very exhausted. He was sprawled out on his back, his head leaning in Y/N’s direction, giving her a clear view of his peaceful face.

Sad as it may be, it was rare to see Steve so peaceful these days. There had been a resurgence in HYDRA attacks and threats, which meant a lot of work for the Avengers, and given his hatred of HYDRA, Steve was constantly putting himself on the frontlines of it.

But not today.

Today was Steve’s day, and Y/N and the team had been planning for a while to make sure it would be a good one.

However those plans didn’t start until later, which meant Steve and Y/N would have the morning to themselves.

It wasn’t planned to start this early though.

It was 7:08 on a Sunday, that’s far too early to be awake. So here Y/N was, staring at her boyfriend. A little creepy, maybe, but how could she not?

She reached her hand towards his face, cupping his cheek and running her thumb over his bottom lip. It really wasn’t fair how he could look so beautiful with absolutely no effort.

“I can feel you looking at me.” Steve’s voice was low and grumbled, but in the silent room, and their close proximity, Y/N heard it loud and clear.

“I sure am.” Y/N replied, a small smile on her face. “You're too pretty not to look at.”

Steve opened his eyes, his gaze meeting hers. “You understand now why I can never take my eyes off you?” He asked, and Y/N weakly smacked his shoulder.

“It’s too early, what are you doing awake?” He then asked, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close.

“I don’t know. I woke up and can’t fall asleep again, so here we are.” Y/N said, her eyes closing in content.

“That’s stupid.” He grumbled, and Y/N scoffed.

“Coming from the man who gets up before sunrise to go on a run.” She said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“That’s beside the point.”

“Whatever you say.” She rolled her eyes, settling in his embrace again. “Happy birthday.”

“Oh yeah.” Steve said absentmindedly. “That’s today.”

“You forgot your own birthday?” Y/N teased.

“I’m very tired.”

“That’s okay.” Y/N said, placing a kiss on his cheek. “We have some plans, but they’re not until later, so we have a lot of time to sleep in, especially since we woke up so early.”

“Then I’m gonna cuddle you until we have to get up.” Steve said, tightening his arms around her.

“Be my guest, Captain.”

[morkleemelon]

off the ice || chapter 6: grab my hand

previous || m.list || playlist || next

pairing: college hockey player! mark x fem. college figure skater! reader

genre: fluff, humor, angst, sports au, college au

word count: 7.7k

warnings: swearing, suggestive material, depictions of bullying

author’s note: huge thanks again to my beta readers @writing-frog and @skiimmiilk I’ve made the executive decision to split up the last chapter since it was so long! Chapter 7, the finale, is done and will be posted in a few days <3 

Distance. Distance isn’t a word you would use to describe your relationship as he pulls you close at night. There’s no distance between the two of you as he lifts you up in the air during your nightly practice, strong hands firmly gripping your waist as you dance across the empty rink.

No.

But if one were to look past your smile, to wipe away the condensation and see clearly what’s really going through your head when you were together with Mark, they might just name the dreadful feeling caving in your chest “distance”. 

Weeks have passed by since the hate message incident in Mark’s room. You tried to pull out the arrow, to convince yourself it wasn’t true and that you could ignore it just like all the rest. Alas, its words struck so deep, you still bleed. 

It poisons your thoughts. Your anxieties had already worsened  and you found yourself pulling away from his affections, afraid of the way the people walking past might somehow be talking about you.

Mark is starting to have his suspicions too, flashing you concerned looks when you uncomfortably shrug his arm off your shoulders in public. To you, it’s because you’re scared of the ‘hateful’ stares from others. To him, it’s a riddle he can’t solve. 

Because when it’s just the two of you, you let yourself relax. Like yin and yang, you fight an internal battle between how much you adore your boyfriend and how terrified you are that you aren’t good enough for him. When it’s just the two of you alone, you stop running and let him close the distance. 

Right now is one of those rare times - the familiar cold and scraping of ice below your skates bringing you peace. 

Mark glides easily beside you on the empty rink. He’s improved a lot, much to your astonishment. A golden boy through and through, he proves that there’s nothing he can’t do as he conquers each move you show him. 

Coach Tanya was surprised when you spoke with her after practice one day to notify her that you’d decided to pair with Mark Lee, captain of the hockey team, for the winter competition. Her thin eyebrows were perked in playful judgement when you started to defend yourself, ready to bring up Yuna’s accident and your financial situation before she stopped you: “You’re my best skater, y/n, and I look forward to your performance. Work hard, captivate your audience, and you just might win”.

Watching Mark skate on ahead of you in the borrowed skates he makes do with, you can’t wait to prove her right.

“What are we going to practice tonight, y/n?,” Mark asks as he arcs a wide circle around you. 

“I think you’ve gotten most of the basics down, so let’s go over the first part of the choreography,” you decide, grabbing onto his hand and giggling as he swings you around with him. 

“We have choreography?,” Mark lifts your arm up to twirl you around. He stops you as you face him, a laugh leaving your lips before he smothers them with kisses. His fingers tickle at the hem of your shirt, cold to your bare skin. You squeal, the sound carrying eerily over the spacious rink.

“I thought about it a lot in my head,” you explain as you shove him away gaily, “and I planned a bit during my own practices. It’s not done yet, but I think we can make it work”. 

“My talented, beautiful girl,” Mark murmurs, catching up to you and wrapping you in a back hug. You sigh blissfully, catching his warm lips in the crook of your neck.

“Mark, we seriously do have to practice. The festival’s only a month away,” you mumble. Some nights, let's just say, you spend more time in the locker room showers than you do on the ice. Using your best intuition, Mark’s lips travelling down towards your collarbones equals not a lot of practice time. And as much as you want for him to distract you all night long, you have to put your skate down and bring your boyfriend back to focus on the task at hand.

He huffs slightly against your skin, but releases you obediently.

“It’s gonna start like this,” you swiftly continue on, positioning your arm gracefully behind Mark’s head, “put your hand here,” you move his hand behind your back like you had planned, “and tilt your head to look at me,”. You tip his jaw slightly so he now peers down at you, face not inches from yours.

Dropping your gaze, you maintain what little self control you have and refrain from thinking about the locker room. It’s right by the rink exit. It’d be so easy to just...

“And then?,” Mark whispers, voice low, waiting patiently in the starting position. His hand is warm against your back, but it tugs at your heartstrings too.

“And then you’re gonna spin me out like we practiced before”. You help him perform the motion, unfurling yourself from his grip and gliding down to spin a slow circle around.

You bring him slowly through the rest of the introduction, Mark copying the moves diligently. 

“Then when I skate back to you, lift me up in the air like we did last time. You think you can do it?,” you question. The move you’re about to attempt is quite difficult - a little dangerous, even, since Mark is still a beginner - but you trust him to never hurt you.

“I can do it,” he confirms confidently, holding his arms out to receive you. 

“Okay, slow at first,” you nod, skating up to him at half-speed, grabbing onto his shoulders to help lift yourself above his head. Mark’s strong hands connect with your body, hoisting you up by your waist and balancing your body carefully above his. Muscles burning, you steady yourself as he twirls you slowly down.

“Alright, again,” you command.

The two of you repeat the move, steadily increasing the speed until the lift is smooth to your satisfaction. 

“I think that was pretty good,” you compliment, slightly out of breath. 

“Only because of you,” Mark endears, panting as he rests his chin atop your hair.

You sigh into his chest, the comforting feeling of his palpitating heartbeat washing over you.

If only it could always be like this.

“y/n?,” Mark mumbles. His tone was almost unsure, as if he was about to say something you don’t want to hear.

You hum an affirmation.

“Is everything okay these days?,” he asks the question you dread answering, “I know,” he continues before you can blurt out your default lie, “I know you keep saying that it is, but I feel like...you know you can tell me anything, right?”. 

Mark changes his phrasing midway, always taking your feelings into consideration. The all too familiar wave of guilt fills you up to your ears and you step slightly away. The stadium is dim, only lit by the natural light of the night sky, but you can see the concern that creases his face out in your peripheral vision. 

Your eyes focus instead on his jacket button. The second from the top has a few loose threads. 

And that’s just how you feel too; the button was made for this coat - it wants to hang on and be there forever. But how could it persist when the world wants to rip it off?

“It’s nothing,” you insist bitterly, your peaceful mood tainted gray. You were so close to successfully ending another day without confronting your demons. Why must Mark sense it so well?

Please stop, Mark. Please stop.

“I don’t think it’s nothing”. There’s nothing but kindness and concern in his voice, but when he reaches his hand out to you, fear overcomes your rationality and you jerk yourself away. 

“It is nothing!,” you exclaim, overly defensive. Half of your mind screams at you to halt, to filter your words before you say something you would regret, but the fuse was already lit and they come tumbling out anyway. “Can you please stop asking? It’s annoying,”.

A beat passes. Two. Five.

The sharp words tear through your mouth like knives, but even then you can’t stop to think. The energy in the rink changed so quickly, your head spins with shock. Turning away from the pained expression you don’t want to see, you skate quickly towards the exit. 

The ice is solid as ever, but why does it feel like you’re sinking?

Slamming the dormitory door shut behind you, your skating bag hits the floor before you do. Back pressed against the concrete wall, shaking sobs rack through your body as you sink down to your feet.

“y/n, what happened?,” Yuna peers over her computer screen. Your roommate had finally returned home a few days ago after her leg had finally healed enough to be discharged. 

You don’t answer, only burying your teary face into your arms as you cry harder.

The metallic creaking of crutches ensues as Yuna approaches your slumped form. A comforting embrace wraps around your shaking shoulders and the smell of her daisy perfume engulfs you. Her scarred hands stroke through your hair as she says nothing, waiting for your hiccups to calm down.

Guilt eats away at you like nitric acid. It mixes with your frustration, concocting a perfect poison that destroys your last thread of self-respect. 

“Can you please stop asking? It’s annoying”

“Can you please stop asking? It’s annoying”

“Can you please stop asking? It’s annoying”

The hurtful words don’t stop echoing in your head. What’s worse is, even though you didn’t stay to look, you can imagine the pain that crossed his face as you left without another word. You feel absolutely disgusting.

This is it. He’s finally going to be done with me.

Moments pass, Yuna sitting patiently by your side as you manage to find your voice. The dam you built around all your secret cracks, disintegrating to pieces as you let everything out to your best friend. 

You tell her about all of the hate messages you’ve been getting for months now - how you tried to ignore them, but some of them hit too way deep to forget. You tell her about the dilemma with Mark. He’s never done any wrong to you, ever, but you feel like you can’t keep forcing your problems on him. When you confided in your financial situation with him, he dropped everything to help you with the competition. You at least want to be able to handle one thing by yourself, to not be a burden, but it’s tearing you apart at the seams.

“I don’t deserve him and he’s going to realize it sooner or later,” you lament, gripping onto Yuna’s arms for dear life. Gasping sobs ensue, even as you hold your breath desperately to stop them. “He’s probably already realized it after what I said. Yuna, what do I do? I’m horrible”. Bitter tears choke at your throat.

“Oh honey,” Yuna coos into your hair, “you don’t even know, do you?”. 

Hiccupping uncontrollably, you take gasping breaths, trying to calm down. Your roommate understands, patting you gently on the back. 

“When you’re in a relationship with someone, the line between having enough communication and enough privacy is tough to figure out. Should you tell him about the lint between your toes? Maybe not. But talking to him about what’s bothering you is not only okay, it’s the right thing to do”.

Yuna lifts your chin up to face her. She looks empathetically down at your watery eyes as she takes her sleeve to dry the fallen tears. You press your eyelids shut, taking deep breaths punctuated by hiccups.

“And Mark,” she continues, “this guy, he looks at you like you’re all the stars in the sky and he’s the first astronomer. There’s not a thing you could tell him that would bother him, that’s what I think. And I think he’s dying to know how he can help you”. 

“Yuna I- you don’t understand. I just left him there after saying that. And I can’t even go on a date with him without feeling like people are talking about us,” you gasp out, “So the person sending the messages is right; I’m not good enough for him and he deserves someone way better than me. Maybe this is for the better”.

“y/n, don’t you see?,” Yuna snaps sternly. You open your eyes. They’re pink-red, matching the tip of your nose. “You’re letting other people ruin a once-in-a-lifetime relationship for you. Do you know what happens when you leave to go to the bathroom when we’re all hanging out? Mark’s looking towards the women’s room every two seconds, waiting for you to come back. This guy will manage to find a way to bring up your name at least twice in the five minutes you’re away. He likes you so much, anyone with a brain knows, so it’s not fair to him for you to tell him what, or who he deserves. At least let him make his own decision”.

The advice resonates in the air. Your hiccups calm to a sniffle as it sinks in. Yuna’s right, you’re being so selfish right now. Actually, you’ve been selfish this whole time. By forcing everything to yourself, you were creating an even bigger problem than any of the ones you were trying to hide.

“Yuna, what do I do now?,” you whisper, dread setting in.

“Girl, go talk to him. Now.”

You must look a mess, but you don’t bother fixing yourself up before you’re out the door.

Yuna sends you off with a ‘good luck!’ as you run down the corridor. Rushing down the metal stairs, your frenzied steps echo through the empty stairwell. They sound as desperate as you feel.

Oh god, please let it not be too late.

Once you reach the first floor entrance, you notice through the glass door that it is now, in fact, pouring rain. You were too distracted before to notice the heavy sounds of precipitation pelting down over you. 

Hands shaking to send Mark a message, you tell him you need to talk and you’re coming to him. You have no umbrella, but you push open the door anyways. The freezing rain soaks into your skin but you run on, unfazed.

You’re drenched and shivering by the time you stand panting in front of his building. Dying street lights illuminate against the dark, night sky. Waiting, the rain stings your eyes.

Through the blur, Mark’s figure finally appears at the door window. You can’t quite make out his face, but you know it’s him. The metal frame creaks as he pushes it open.

“y/n, what are you doing?”. His voice is raspy and as he comes closer into view. You notice that his eyes are pink-red, matching the tip of his nose.

“I have to talk to you,” you state, voice wavering as fresh tears mix with the ice-cold precipitation. Mustering up all the courage you have, you ready yourself to tell him everything you’ve been holding back.

“Let’s go inside”. His voice is soft as he tugs at your drenched jacket sleeve. 

“No I-,” you choke, “I want to say it right now”.

The rain bears down hard as he lets go of your sleeve, allowing the frigid water to soak through his own self, waiting.

“You asked me if something was wrong,” your resolve comes crashing down, “and a lot has been wrong”. You squeeze your eyes shut to force out the unwanted raindrops. “The truth is, I’ve been getting hate messages every day since we started dating. Probably even before that. They say I’m a slut, or I’m fat and ugly. The details don’t matter”.

Mark takes a step towards you, the concerned expression creasing his brow in full view. 

“But then they say I’m not good enough for you,” your voice breaks as you admit the most painful part of all, blinking up at him, “and I can’t help but believe them”.

Futily, you swipe your drenched sleeve across your eyes to dry them.

“But even if I don’t deserve anything that you are, I need to tell you right now that I didn’t mean what I said today and I need to know if you still want me-”

Before the next raindrop could hit your skin, you feel yourself lifted up into a crushing hug.

There’s no sound except the heavy pitter patter of rain around you, but you can swear that there’s a symphony playing as he spins you around. His breath huffs against your neck. He’s crying too, you realize.

“y/n,” he croaks, body quivering with tears and from the cold, “I always want you. I-, you-”. Mark pulls you in extra tight as he struggles to find the right words.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” the words strain against Mark’s throat, “when I first saw you, I dropped my shit and ran away”.

You pull slightly away, looking up at him quizzically.

He shakes his head and continues, “You were so beautiful and even when I thought you hated me, I couldn’t stop thinking about you all the time. I don’t want anyone else-”.

Grabbing your face with both of his hands, he presses desperate kisses to your forehead. The rain bears down hard, lightning cracking in the sky, but you’re numb to everything else except the feeling of his lips pressing their love onto your skin. 

“You’re it for me,” his voice wavers. The vulnerable confession sends you into a fresh wave of emotions and you grip onto the back of his neck, crying into his shoulder. “You’re my heart. I knew it from the first moment I saw you”. 

Pulling back just enough to look you in the eyes, he brushes back the wet strands of hair stuck to your face. You’re tempted to do the same, the once golden locks now almost black against his brow. 

“I love you”. 

The words leave his lips so suddenly, but they’ve been at the tip of his tongue for so long they roll off with ease. Your heart drums against your chest as time seems to stop. 

“You love me?” you choke, not believing your ears. His forehead is pressed against yours.

“I love you,” he repeats, “I love you. More than anything. So much that I can’t breathe. I was so scared when you left today because I thought I did something wrong and I was thinking of what I said and I was sitting at my desk waiting for you to call because I wasn’t sure if I should call you first after what happened but then I almost did and then-,”

You shut him up with your lips. 

He sinks into your touch, responding naturally as you kiss him with everything you have.

Your mind spins with a mixture of relief and excitement as you let all of your worries go. It was never about other people, you realize, it was about your own insecurities and you were tearing yourself down. Without realizing it, you forgot to take into account the other half of the relationship: Mark’s opinion.

But now you know for sure, the opinion that actually matters, not the anonymous person who doesn’t know better. He loves you. It’s you he’s chosen. Out of all of the people he could pick from, Mark holds you in his arms, whispering soft ‘I love you’s’ between each kiss. Kisses to your lips. 

How could you ever want him to be with someone else when you’re the one he wants?

“I love you too,” you reply breathlessly into his open kiss. 

We deserve to be happy.

He doesn’t say anything, instead responding by tugging your waist closer to him, moving his jaw feverishly to indulge you deeper. Water drips down from his hair, splashing onto the bridge of your nose.

“Let’s go inside,” you gasp. The heat of the moment made you temporarily forget, but the icy November weather slowly started to soak past your jacket. You shiver as a strong gust of wind blows past your drenched body.

Mark leads you inside and you hustle up to his suite. His hand is warm against your wrist and you can’t wait for it to be tangled in your hair again.

Slamming open the door, Mark’s arms are around your waist before it could drift shut. You jump up, wrapping your legs around his hips as he carries you to his room, lips never leaving yours.

Jeno, unsuspecting, is lying on his bed with a book in his hands. If your eyes were open, you would flush at the incredulous look the poor boy shoots towards you. 

Meanwhile, your boyfriend works at your jacket zipper quickly, removing the wet outer layers as he sits you on his bed. 

Pausing a second, he turns his head to speak to his roommate. 

“Out”. 

You don’t have time to feel embarrassed before Mark’s jacket is on the floor and he’s lying you back, hovering over your body. The bedroom door rams shut as Jeno scurries out, not keen on seeing the scene progress any further. 

I’m sorry, man.

Your mental apology doesn’t last long as your wet hair soaks into the pillowcase beneath you. Mark kisses a line from your jaw down the side of your neck, raindrops wet on his tongue. The heat of his body contrasts the cold of yours and you want all of it against you. 

Rain-stained articles of clothing gather on the floor in no time.

“God, I love you so much,” Mark hushes against your ear. His gruff tone sends shivers down your back and you scratch your nails through the base of his hair. Your legs find their way around his hips again, pulling him down impossibly closer.

“I love you too,” you gasp back. 

He kisses between your collarbones, then looks back into your eyes, “do you want this?”. 

You nod frantically, your voice nothing short of breathless. “I want this”.

Peace you haven’t been able to feel for a long time blankets you as you lie on your lover’s chest, the two of you fresh out of breath. Such a revelation- him telling you he loved you was. And you want to savor the feeling forever.

It feels as if there was a thorn lodged in your heart, festering for months from your terrible, insecure thoughts and you’ve finally yanked it out. It feels like you can finally breathe.

Well, metaphorically. Physically, you may need a few minutes.

Mark’s hair sticks up in every direction, frizzy from being half-dried and from your constant tugging. Nonetheless, he looks beautiful to you in the dim, lamp-lit room. His chest rises and falls in your embrace and your fingers work to delicately trace the toned muscles of his torso. Mimicking your movements, he grazes his thumbs over the blue-purple masterpiece he’s painted across your neck and chest.

“Good?,” he asks nonchalantly.

You let out a soft snort at the sudden question.

Men will always be men.

“Great,” you admit. Heat creeps into your face as you recall the last hour or so. 

You guess there’s more benefits of hockey than just the uniform: the stamina and athleticism. 

His inflated ego fills the room palpably as he shifts in the messy bed, tugging the covers more over your tangled bodies. Noises arise from the kitchen, probably from his other suitemates. Embarrassment fills you to the brim when you realize that everyone probably heard the two of you. You were far too busy caught up in your passionate feelings to consider this, and now it’s come back to bite. 

Huffing shyly, you hide your growing blush into the nape of your boyfriend’s neck. Clanging of kitchenware resonates clearly through the room’s thin walls. You can’t help but distress over how clearly the others could hear you. And for such a long time too.

Oh my gosh. How will I ever face them?

Mark seems to sense your thoughts and lets out a light chuckle. 

“Babe, we’re fine. They all hookup all the time. And Yuna-,”

“I don’t need to know, thank you,” you interrupt sharply. Squeezing your eyes shut, you fight off the disturbing imagery.

Ten’s voice drifts through the suite and the sound of the front door shutting rings through them with unnerving vigor. You jolt at the bang, stiffly turning your neck towards the locked bedroom door, as if it would reveal any answers. Mark looks at you, the confused expression on his face making it apparent that he doesn’t know what is happening either. Slowly, he shifts up into a sitting position.

“You’re fucking kidding me - it was that bitch?”. The senior boy’s voice cuts through the nighttime quiet abruptly. Struggling to stitch together the context of the overheard conversation, you force your sore body to sit up as well. From how it sounds, it seems like Ten is on a phone call.

You look at your boyfriend for confirmation. With a nod, the two of you mutually agree to silently withdraw from the comfort of the covers and get dressed. 

“I don’t - listen to me, do they know for sure?,” Ten asks anxiously from the other side of the door.

With increasing concern, you hastily pick up your wet, discarded clothing. The cold, uncomfortable sensation makes you wince. Mark grabs your wrist, preventing you from putting on the still-soaked yoga pants. Shaking his head, he takes the garment and tosses it over his desk chair. From his dresser, he hands you a dry set of his own clothing. 

The gesture makes you smile and you gratefully pull on the warm sweats and hoodie. They’re obscenely large for your frame, but it’s a sure upgrade from your sad, rain-ruined outfit. Mark ruffles your hair, cheeks like strawberries as he kneels down without a word to roll up your pants. 

A small giggle escapes your lips. He’s just seen you naked, but of course it’s this that gets him blushing.

The happy expression is quickly wiped off your face as Ten continues abruptly, anger apparent in his voice. 

“Fucking hell! Hillary Choi? The bitch even admitted to it?”. The senior captain’s voice is nothing less than a yell now. Mark’s mouth hangs open in shock as he stares towards the door. The concern and shock shining in his eyes allude to how uncharacteristic his friend’s behavior is.

“Hillary Choi…,” you mutter under your breath, the name ever so familiar to your ears. 

“Wait she’s…,” Mark turns his gaze to you carefully, silently confirming his correct assumption.

“She’s the one who hates me…,” you confirm bitterly with a nod. 

Mark stands up, grabbing both your hands as you sit back on his bed. His expression is sad, perhaps also peppered with anger - something you’ve never seen in your boyfriend. Gently, he tugs you to your feet.

As you push the bedroom door open slightly, the common room comes into view. Ten’s figure is hunched over the kitchen sink, listening intently to the person on the other side of the phone speak. His breathing is rushed - you’ve only ever seen him this mad the day Yuna entered the hospital. 

Then it all makes sense.

Opening the door fully, you reveal Jeno and Haechan sitting on the common room couch. You make eye contact with them as you and Mark stand at the doorway, listening. Their expressions tell that they’re equally as concerned as you.

Mark’s hand in yours, you tiptoe your way to join the two friends on the sofa. 

“The fucking psycho bitch,” Ten spits. His hands run furiously through his raven hair as he begins pacing around. The senior sees all of you gathered together, but makes no move to acknowledge any of you other than a hard stare.

The tension is suffocating. Everyone wants to say something, but the waters seem too rough to test. Anxious glances are exchanged, but not a word leaves any of your mouths as Ten continues pacing around, the other speaker on the phone relaying more information. You conclude to wait until the call is over before you try to ask.

“Okay so she’s at the police station right now? ”.

Mark’s hand squeezes yours in silent shock. 

“Okay… fuck,” Ten rubs tiredly at the bridge of his nose, “alright okay, thank you, officer. I- yeah I’m okay, thank you. Tell Yuna I’m on my way now”. 

A moment of silence suspends heavily over the air as he hangs up the call. The breath you didn’t know you were holding escapes in relief as Haechan clears his throat awkwardly and takes one for the team.

“Uh…,” the sophomore calculates for a bit, eyeing the enraged senior carefully, “Ten, what’s going on?”.

For the first time ever, it seems, the mischievous boy’s voice rid itself of its usual snide tone, replaced by refreshing sincerity. 

Ten sets down his hand, revealing tears building up in his previously covered eyes. Jeno doesn’t waste a second, getting off the couch without a word and wrapping his arms around his crying friend. 

You hesitate before asking, “It’s Yuna’s case?”. Keeping your voice as steady as possible, you hope you’ve succeeded in masking your growing fear.

Ten sniffs, patting Jeno’s back, prompting the younger to let go. Wiping away the stray tears, he nods. Everyone waits patiently as the distraught senior calms himself down with deep breaths.

“They caught the person who tried to kill her- or is it people? I don’t even know. And yes - they tried to kill her,” Ten rubs a stressed finger between his brow, “It was Hillary Choi, some junior girl who’s obsessed with Mark - she’s in our fanclub or whatever. They said she confessed it was all part of a plan? I don’t- I don’t know,” his voice breaks off as he tugs at his hair before heading over to grab his keys. 

“Wait, I don’t understand. If she’s obsessed with me why would she go try to hurt Yuna?,” Mark’s voice rings with alarm. A sinking feeling of dread sits in your stomach like a block of cement.

“It’s-,” Ten huffs into his hands, “let’s go to the station first and the bitch can tell you herself, she’s there apparently. Yuna is too. I don’t want to keep Yuna waiting there alone any longer so let’s go”.

The drive is silent, save the rumbling of the pavement below the car’s tires. Mark’s hand grips yours like a vice, but you don’t say anything. In fact, it kind of keeps you grounded as your anxiety goes through the roof. You’re no Sherlock, but hearing news that a girl who’s obsessed with your boyfriend (as has been sending you hate messages for months, no less) tried to kill your best friend, almost succeeding, bodes terribly for you. 

It had stopped raining a while ago and the five of you hurry your way through the fresh puddles dotting the police station lot. 

“Yuna?,” Ten calls out as the glass doors slide open. 

“Here,” a weak reply voices from behind a partition. 

Rushing over, you see that Yuna’s usual perfect composition is instead worn-down: her platinum blonde hair falls limply down her shoulders and her face is gaunt with distress. 

You had just seen her a few hours ago and she was even the one comforting you then. But now it’s your turn as you carefully kneel down beside her chair and pull her instinctively into a hug. 

“Officer, can you please tell us what’s going on?,” Mark stops a nearby woman in uniform. 

“You’re all friends of Ms. Kim?,” she inquires, continuing as a chorus of confirmations fills the room, “Okay, just a second”.

The woman appears visibly tired, probably pulled out of bed at an ungodly hour to cover this shift. Taking a long sip of her coffee, the white curls of steam prance around the air as you itch for answers. Setting the hot beverage down on the desk beside her, she straightens her badge. ‘Detective Jeong’, it reads.

“We have a confession,” Jeong relays finally, “earlier today- or yesterday, I should say- we received a call from our traffic security team detailing that they spotted the same model of car as the one thought to be involved with the accident on September 15th the uh-,” she stops to check her clipboard, “black 2018 Audi A4. We issued a warrant to interrogate the driver as quickly as possible, although not much was needed since the perpetrator, Miss Hillary Choi, confessed to the hit and run almost immediately”.

You hug Yuna tighter, Ten embracing from her other side. 

“You have the confession, did she say why?,” Jeno asks sternly.

“This is where it gets slightly more complicated and I want to ask, is a Miss y/n here?”.

The mention of your name makes you perk up, surprised. 

“That’s me,” you stand up slowly, “why?”.

Mark places a hand at the small of your back in concern. 

“y/n…,” Yuna sobs softly, gripping your arm. A thousand thoughts run through your head as your struggle to understand what is happening. 

“Yes?,” you brush the fallen strands of hair behind her ear.

“I want her to say it,” Yuna directs, speaking to the detective now. 

“Now we do have Miss Choi in our custody right now, but you’ll have to move back into the interrogation room if you wish to speak with her, for safety reasons”.

You nod, helping Yuna onto her crutches as everyone moves towards the back of the station. It feels as if you’re dreaming, that reality has separated itself into a different plane than the one you’re in and your existence has become but a construct. Your legs move on autopilot while your eyes are fixed ahead, but not really looking at anything in particular. 

The room you enter is dark and stuffy. Even with Haechan and Jeno opting to wait outside, it is far too crowded for the four of you. The room is divided into two; the other side is fully visible but unreachable due to a large plexiglass window in between. It’s eerily isolating. Yuna is ushered onto the only fold-up chair on your side of the room.

As the late-night officers go to bring Hillary in, the apprehension in the air is thick enough to be spread on your breakfast toast. The only comfort that comes to you is Mark’s arms wrapped around your waist. It’s the only thing that you can make sense of right now.

The door on the opposite side slams open suddenly, drawing a sharp gasp from you. Mark’s fingers curl protectively into your hoodie as Hillary enters.

It’s surreal. This woman - handcuffs and all - carries a plain, calm expression as she sits down casually in her own fold-up chair. You hadn’t seen her in a while, but her beady-eyed gaze is as intense as ever. The red streaks in her hair are outgrown, falling awkwardly around the bright orange of her jumpsuit. 

“What’s up?,” Hillary asks, tone cool as if she were not being held for attempted murder at the moment. Her dark eyes settle on you, the arms around your waist, then back to you. Hillary’s stoic face is unreadable, yet it sends chills down your spine like a thousand spiders.

“What’s up? You absolute psycho bitch-,” Ten rails, banging on the glass barrier with a clenched fist. He pulls back as the officer gives him a warning. Yuna pulls him back to calm him down.

Your eyes don’t leave hers. They’re a dark brown, almost black, and you find yourself sinking into them - pulled into them like they’re black holes of concentrated hatred.

Closing your eyes, you pull your mind back to yourself. 

For months on end, you’ve been the recipient of her constant torment. It not only affected your mental health, but almost cost you the relationship of a lifetime. This whole time, you’ve been afraid of her words, letting them eat away at your dignity from inside out until you were nearly gone. 

But if you had the weapon of confidence - if you had simply chosen to stand up and reply, to say ‘no, you’re wrong’, her arrows would have fallen limp to the ground and she couldn’t have hurt you. Hurt your friend.

You open your eyes, this time staring back hard. Hillary’s expression is unfazed, but you imagine she’s surprised at your change in mentality.

“Tell me everything,” you demand firmly. 

Hillary scoffs, as if the situation is amusing. 

“Fuck you, tell us everything,” Ten hisses.

Hillary rolls her eyes. “Fine. Only because she wouldn’t want me to be mean to you, Ten”. 

“Who?,” you ask rigidly.

“I’ll get to that, bitch,” she sneers.

“Hey, don’t call her that,” Mark warns.

The psychopath in orange laughs maniacally, though you can’t place your finger on what she finds funny. 

“Funny,” she gasps for breath, slapping her knees vigorously, “funny how now you talk to me!”. 

“She’s nuts,” Yuna states.

“The whole damn Planters factory,” you agree.

“You people wouldn’t know a thing!,” Hillary fires, pointing an accusing finger around the room. Her face is red from her laughing fit, almost as red as her disgruntled bangs. Eyes now glistening with rage, you press back into Mark’s embrace when her personality flips 180 degrees in under a second. “You don’t know anything!,” she screams, “You don’t know! You don’t know!”.

The four of you watch in shock as Hillary melts down, the guard coming up and restraining her to the chair. She’s thrashing around, chanting the phrase over and over again.

“You’ll never know how much I love you, Mark,” Hillary shrieks, smiling hauntingly as she’s forced back into the chair and cuffed to it, “and you’ll never know how much she loves you, Ten”. 

“What the fuck?,” Ten rightfully shouts.

“Tell us who!,” you raise your voice. 

“I’m getting there, b-,” she stops in the middle of the slur, glancing at your boyfriend. In the blink of an eye, her expression jumps from pure disdain to sickly sweet, “baby”. 

Anger flushes through your body. Wanting to provoke her a little, you turn your gaze to your boyfriend. Predictably, he immediately turns his full attention to you. A scrunch of his brow asks you if you’re okay. 

“Did you enjoy them?,” Hillary’s voice is ‘normal’ again as she asks the out-of-context question.

“What?,” Ten pries, unamused.

“Did you,” she points her finger directly at you, “enjoy my messages?”.

Oh boy, oh boy. I was waiting for you to ask that.

The words rush to your mouth, every comeback you’ve ever made manifesting into the pinnacle of all comebacks, “As a matter of fact, I did,” you smile brightly, “I especially enjoyed the one’s where you said Mark doesn’t love me and doesn’t want me. I like to think of the irony of it all when we’re sleeping together and he gives me these”. 

You tug down the collar of your hoodie (that’s actually his which makes it even better) to reveal the hickies blooming down your neck. “If only you could know how good it feels, but you’re undoubtedly alone”.

Yuna snickers beside you, but Mark’s signature laugh shamelessly fills the limited space around you. The mood of the room changes completely at your words, the seriousness dissipating like sugar in hot water. It’s so refreshing, the feeling of being in control of yourself. Hillary, the person you used to be so afraid of looks so small in her isolation. There’s nothing to her at all, now that you know to stand up for yourself. You’ve never felt so… powerful. 

In any other situation, you would have died in embarrassment from sharing personal information like that, but you’re on a roll. And it’s bitch ass Hillary we’re talking about here. Even Ten looks mildly impressed by your new attitude, a tiny smile quirked on his lips.

“You-,” Hillary pouts, “how could you, Mark, how could you do this to me? You and I both know we loved each other first. We still love each other”.

“I have literally no idea what you mean,” Mark emphasizes, moving his hands to grip your shoulders, “you need some serious help, man”.

“I’ll fucking kill you!,” she screams at you again. 

“No you won’t,” you chuckle, “you’re locked up! At this point it’s a little amusing.

“You wanna know what the plan was? Me and Seojung were gonna kill you both. I take the bitch that’s dating Ten and she takes the slut who took Mark from me. I got so close, following you, blondie, to the party, but you just had to live-”

“The fuck did you just say?”

“Sick psycho oh my god”

“Yeah good luck doing that from prison, asshole”

The room erupts in replies that cut her off. 

“Alright, time’s up,” the guard announces. The door on your side of the room opens, a gust of cool air welcoming you as Detective Jeong appears to usher you out. Turning around to give Hillary one last word as the officer drags her back to her cell, you’re not surprised to meet her menacing eyes. 

“He loves me,” you state confidently, “and he always will. Enjoy hell”. 

With that, the door shuts behind her and the worst chapter of your life dots its last concluding period. It’s the last one that you’ll let someone else write for you. You’re more than ready to pick up the pen and turn the next page. Excitedly, you head out to your friends waiting on you outside.

“Don’t worry, we’ve monitored that whole conversation and everything will be used against her in court,” Jeong assures, “Miss y/n, you might remember Choi mentioned a ‘Seojung’ and we want to make sure you know that she has been detained and held at the Gangnam Police Station. We’re waiting on her statement, but if what Choi testified is true, we’re looking at life in prison for both parties”.

“Not death?,” Ten scoffs.

“Not death, no,” the detective shakes her head.

“So basically, they’re both insane. And they did all this because they thought Ten and Mark belonged to them,” Haechan follows slowly, having just been filled in.

“We gotta put an end to this fanclub shit. Why are our lives controlled by these freaks,” Jeno groans.

He’s right. He’s so right. The whole thing is disgusting, especially when none of the Lee’s ever asked for it to be formed. If it’s already gotten to the point where members are caught in homicidal attempts, there’s no way the Lovelees club can continue to exist.

The station is nearly empty now, almost all of the officers handling the case calling it a night and heading home. Not wanting to keep Detective Jeong any longer, the six of you head out to the car. It’s nearly four in the morning and the adrenaline is wearing off, exhaustion replacing it.

“Hey but y/n, you were so good in there,” Yuna smiles, bumping you with her shoulder as you walk through the parking lot. The night air is cold against your skin, filled with the scent of petrichor.

“Yeah, you,” Mark looks at you with doe eyes, arm slung around your shoulders.

Letting out a short laugh, you press your lips quickly to his cheek.

“And I’m assuming based on how this looks, the conversation went well?,” Yuna adds.

“Only thanks to you,” you appreciate, turning from your best friend to Mark, “I think we’re all good now”. 

Mark beams at you as Ten unlocks his car, bringing you in for an elated kiss.

Groans erupt from all around. 

“You’ve seriously been going at it all night, none of us have gotten any sleep,” Haechan whines loudly.

“Bruh,” says Jeno.

“Then get yourself a girlfriend, fatass, I don’t know what to say,” Mark retaliates.

You reluctantly pull away as everyone piles into the vehicle. Haechan, you don’t feel bad for. He could cry and pout all day and you wouldn’t bat an eyelash. Jeno, is a different story. 

Memories of earlier cause your fingers to curl up in cringe; the way he was minding his own business in his own room only to be caught in the middle of your… make-up methods. 

“Hey…,” you apologize as you cram into the seat next to him, “I’m uh- I’m sorry about earlier”.

“I don’t want to talk about it”. The blue-haired boy massages the crease between his brows, stressed. 

“Right okay,” you nod. 

“Not to ruin the mood, but are you okay y/n? I feel like we’re moving too fast past what you’ve been dealing with for the past few months. I mean… I just want to make sure I’m not in the dark about your feelings again,” Mark asks softly.

Silence falls upon the car as the group awaits your answer. You look to the passenger seat, to Yuna, as Ten cruises down the city street. 

“I’ll never forgive her,” you finally admit, “either one of them. They can literally rot in hell for all I care. But for me, I’m okay. If anything, this whole thing has taught me a lot and I’ve grown a lot from it. Both of them are locked up, so I’m not scared anymore. Oddly, I feel really free”. 

Packed into a tiny car, cruising down the streets of Seoul, you admire the friends around you. You’re surrounded by love. Your best friend and the love of her life. Your soulmate and his two best friends (who have become like family to you). Back on campus, Hope and Lisa sleep away, unaware of the chaos of today. You can imagine the looks on their faces as Yuna and you fill them in. Irreplaceable, every one of them. 

Life is full of way too many amazing things for any number of crazy bitches to ruin. Just as your friends have become irreplaceable to you, you are irreplaceable to them too. It’s due time that you give some credit to yourself. 

I am truly confident. I am worthy. I am loved.

previous || m.list || playlist || next

[bluehairedtracii]

Hooks and Coins|| Harry Hook x Reader Soulmate AU!

Requested: by @lemonypink

Warnings: Harry being cute 

Pairings: Harry Hook x Swann-Turner! Reader

Author's note: Oh my gosh this took so long! I’m literally so sorry! My motivation for writing has been a little iffy lately. Buuutt I’ve also been binging Criminal Minds soo it kinda gave me a creative push to start writing again. (Spencer Reid fics comin in the future) Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this fic as I get back into writing again. 

P.S. Melody is Melody from the second little mermaid movie, and I know she's kinda not mentioned again in the fic but just know that this is y/n’s best friend and that’s who she is lmao.  I also thought the Coin would fit well in here because of the movies just sshhhh. Enjoy!!!!

----------------------------------------------

"it's soon! I swear!" The night of your 16th birthday, the day your life would change.

The day you get your soulmate tattoo.

"Are you sure??" Melody whines. "I'm positive! Look, it's not even 12:00 on the dot yet- ONE MORE MINUTE!" You look back from the phone on your lap to your right wrist.

"It's twellveeee." Melody cooed.

"Please please please..." You muttered still hopeful.

Then it hit, well stung. "Ow, ow, I feel it!"

"Let me see!" Melody basically climbed on top of you and saw it before you could. She gasped "oh my gosh y/n..." "What? What is it?" You tried to pull back your wrist to see, but Melody kept it steady.

"Y/n, as your best friend, I have to warn you as to what you're about to see...."

"C'mon Mells, it can be that bad." You sighed and tried to pull away from her. 

"You have to PROMISE Me that you won't freak out?"

Annoyed, you sighed and smiled "I promise." "Okay.." she released your hand. You rubbed your wrist and looked at the small tattoo, "A Hook?" "Not just any hook... Penny told me about this." "This is the same hook as the famous Captain Hook himself! It must be his son!"

"Captain? So my soulmate is a Pirate? Like Dad and Mom?" Melody nods almost worried.

"Awesome."

--------------------------------------

"It's late Harry, your sister is gonna kill us if we get caught and wake your dad." Gill rubbed his eyes as he walked towards the galley of the ship.

"I know, but this is where the best lighting is...in a few minutes, I'll get me soulmate...well uh, tattoo I mean." He whispered and unlocked the door, cursing at the squeaky floors.

Harry turned on the lamp nestled on his father's desk. The room lit up illuminating the maps that his father and oldest sister had drawn up while sailing the open seas. He dreamed of nothing more than doing that, sailing and hailing a crew of his own, but for now, he follows Uma’s orders. 

“One more minute Harry.” Gill whispered looking at the tickless clock on the desk.

“Aye, ow! fff-!” Harry cupped his hand and flipped it to see his wrist, he bit back the pain as he saw the black ink form on his wrist. He’d been confused and tried to make it out as it formed. “Bloody hell, this sure is detailed in’it?” Gill loomed over Harry's shoulder, wondering what it was himself, Gill was sure he wasn't ready for his soulmate yet if he had to endure this much pain. 

Harry closed his eyes and exhaled as the pain stopped.

He opened his eyes to see the grim Aztec Coin staring back at him.

“Holy shi-” “Gil do you know what this means?!” “She’s spooky?” “No GIl, you git, She’s a pirate! and she’s a Turner...” He says in awe as he smiles down at his wrist.

----------------------------------------------

A few months later both of you seemed to forget. The events of your daily lives getting in the way. You’re training to go off on a sailing trip with your dad for a few months, and Harry is… currently Helping Uma get revenge on Mal by kidnapping Ben. 

But.. you were unaware of this. Obviously. 

Lonnie and you were fencing/sword fighting in the school’s courtyard (for fun) when you saw the boys rushing into the limo. You both caught up to them and questioned them immediately. 

“What’s going on here Jay?” Lonnie snickered full well knowing what’s happening because she overheard it earlier passing their room. “We.. uh..” “we’re going with you..” Lonnie cut the pair off. And this is how you went to the Isle of the Lost for the first time. 

They had told you the plan but left out the part about who they were going to have to deal with if the plan went south. You were nowhere near nervous. All those times you’d trained with Lonnie and your parents at the shop basically were all for this moment. Your pirate self was ready. 

Mal handed over the wand and you cringed a bit. “She’s gonna know it's fake…” you turned to Lonnie and whispered. “Shh I know, get ready..”  you prepped your sword and placed one hand on your lapel while the other was free to toss the swords. 

That’s when everything went south. You and Lonnie sprung into action and helped the others. The sounds of metal clashing mixed with the creaking of the ship and the salty sea air made you happy, it filled you with adrenaline. It felt like you were at home.

2 people fighting you at once, then three, then none, one by one you tossed them overboard.

You were caught in the crossfire between Carlos and some other goons so you ducked under them and sprung onto your feet right into someone else's back. 

You both turned to each other, swords ready, you saw him and you felt that burning in your body. The one that your friends always said happened when you met your soulmate… “Ow!” “Oi!!” Harry lurched back and held his hand. And so did you. 

“You…” he pointed at you “are you…?” you held up your hand and showed your tattoo. He gasped and smiled “I knew I’d see you one day..”  you said in awe. You heard Uma yell for Harry and his smile faltered into a smirk.

“Sorry lass, no ‘ard feelings right?” “Obviously.” You struck your sword first and your swords clashed with each other. “I knew you were good Turner, but not this good.” he laughed as you both turned a corner of the ship. “Thanks! Maybe I can teach you sometime Hook, You seem a bit rusty!” “Oi! My ‘eart Lass.. that one hurt!” 

You snickered and he had caught you by a wood post “awe, our first dance is over now?” your eyes sparkled. He smirked ”Aye if this were different, i’d very much like to get to know you lassy…”  he got closer almost closing the gap in between you two. And his lips brushed yours before you heard Mal and Lonnie yell that it’s time to go. You smiled “sorry Luv, it’s time for me to go!” you kiss his cheek and push him away into a hole that’s in the ship. “Oi! That’s not fair!”

You were the last one to leave and thought of an idea, you caught up with them and helped Mal to kick off the ramp back to the car. “Find me!” You blew a kiss to Harry and smiled, and so did he. on the inside, of course, he had to be “mad” for Uma’s sake. But right now he was anything but. He just met his Soulmate and she was everything he dreamed of.

-------------------------------------

Almost a year had passed when you had first met Harry. And you constantly think about him every day and so does he. 

He sat at the bow of the ship looking out to the ocean thinking about you. It’s all that he’s been thinking about actually. He’s waiting for the day you can be with each other and in each other's arms. You literally took his breath away, because you kicked him, but he was entranced by your skills and beauty. He dreams about learning with you, meeting your folks, owning a ship, and most importantly.. Sailing away with you to see the world. He was stuck here. 

Though he didn't know that you had convinced Ben (it took a lot of convincing) to let Harry over onto the isle for a while. Your boating trip with your dad had gone so well that you also convinced your dad to let you go alone this time. Your parents knew how a forbidden love felt more than anyone else. The love between the two of them, a humble blacksmith that was the son of a pirate and the daughter of a wealthy governor who found that boy so long ago. They were never supposed to be together in society's standards, but their love was the strongest bond. They granted their blessing to you, they knew you'd be safe. You’re a strong pirate and they want to see you the happiest you can be.

You smiled and looked out the window of the limo as it crossed the bridge. Mal and Evie both came with you so they could help you find him and tell him the news. You guys slip onto the docks while Mal and Evie keep guard on the limo and watch you just in case you need back up. “Ursulas…” you smile and cross through the swinging doors, you found him and you felt the burning feeling in your body again. So did he. “OI!” he dropped the basket of chips he was holding and growled at the mess he made. He was fuming until he locked eyes with you. “My princess has come back to me?” he smiled and walked towards you completely forgetting about the fries as he kicked them to the side. “Hey Hook.” you smiled and felt his hand on your face but he backed away. “Woah Turner you ain't gonna kick me ‘gain right?” “no.” you laughed and you both hugged each other. 

He took the two of you outside “what are ye doin here luv? I mean, you don’ ‘ave to make any excuses to see me, but you came all the way from the other side.” he laughed and pushed back a strand of stray hair behind your ear. You blushed and held one of his hands, but unknowingly played with one of the rings on said hand. He bit his lip smiling at your nervousness. “U-Uhm.” you were surprised by the nerves in your voice, you were never this nervous before. This boy is going to wreck you. “It took major convincing, but I finally convinced my family and Ben to let you come to Auradon with me for a three-month sailing trip…” you smiled and looked at him. His eyes lit up and he lifted you off the ground and spun you around. “Are ye serious?! Of course I'd go with you!”  “Great! We leave…” you check your watch on your left arm. “ In 30 minutes!” “Aye! I need to pack!”  you laughed.

 he backed you into the wall. You smirked, “oi, I've been trying to do this ever since the first time we met.” He closed the gap between you two and the feeling of his soft pillowy lips on yours brought you comfort and warmness. You kissed back and ran your fingers through his dark locks as he tightened his grip around your waist. You never wanted this to end. “25 minutes!” You heard the girls yell and you pulled away and laughed. “I've finally found my Turner..” “And I’ve finally found my Hook..”

[stephspurs]

A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction - BONUS MOMENTS

Surprise!!! I'm back with a select few bonus #bamelia moments!! I just couldn't let the love story of Ben and Amelia die, I hope you don't mind. Love Always, Steph xx

PSA: To all new readers, you don't have to read the series (link below) to understand this, however it would help so that you can understand the preconceived emotions behind the chapter!

Champions Again | di nuovo campioni

warnings; none word count; 1865 writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter. link to fic masterlist here

They had done it, again. The Chelsea boys were lifting their second team trophy for the year, they had just won the Supercup. This was Amelia’s first competition final with the Premier League giants and if she had her way, this wouldn't be last. She was beginning to get addicted to the feeling of winning, of proving to every little girl out there and every sexist male she had ever come across, that anything boys can do, girls can do better. She was letting her results speak for themselves, she was making history and there was nothing that could bring her down from the ninth cloud she was currently riding.

As proud as she was over her own achievements, she was equally as proud of her friends. Whilst she wasn’t part of their Champions League victory, she knew that this moment was just as special to the team that just loved to win. The scenes before her were ones she hoped she would never forget - the look on Jorgi’s face as he lifted his third trophy of the last few months, the crinkles beside Mason’s eyes as he grinned at the camera that was desperate to capture every moment of the evening, the tinge of pink on the apples of Ben’s cheeks as he stood with his hands on his hips while he watched Amelia give her first post-match tactical analysis to the Sky Sports reporter - proud that she was his girl. These were the moments that made Amelia forget all of the hard times, or rather made her realise that all of the hard times were worth it to see her friends, her team, her man smile.

With every great victory comes an even greater after party, and even though the Super Cup final coincided with the start of the season, the boys still believed that they deserved an afterparty to celebrate. Captain Cesar Azpilicueta had kindly offered the grounds of his Surrey home to host the bunch of rowdy boys, and their onslaught on mates and partners on the Sunday afternoon between the Super Cup final and the first match of the Premier League 21/22 season. Whilst they were under strict instruction from the higher powers of Chelsea Football Club (namely; Thomas Tuchel) to keep the drinking to a minimum and to keep themselves out of trouble, the boys were allowed to be boys for one more night.

______________________________________________________________

“Benj, what are you wearing? I don’t know if I should wear a sundress or denim shorts! Please, I need help!” I shouted out to Ben who was currently somewhere in his large house.

“Why would my outfit be able to help you with that decision” I could hear his voice getting closer, his footsteps getting louder as he began to ascend the stairs up to the main bedroom that I had slowly started to take over in the last couple months.

“An opinion is all I’m after - stop being cheeky mate” I shoot back at him as I begin to stand up from my place in front of his wardrobe. It was still his wardrobe, he hadn’t asked me to move in yet so it was still technically his even if it was half full with my clothes. As I got to my feet, I turned to see him leaning in the doorway with his arms and ankles crossed over each other. Wearing a tee shirt and some denim shorts himself with a cap covering his ungelled hair - a request from me because it was much easier for me to run my hands through if it wasn’t laden with gel...and because it gave me an excuse to push it out of his face whenever I felt like it (which was often).

“I wouldn’t mind if you stayed in that outfit to be fair, however, that would also mean we would be skipping this afterparty altogether and be spending the afternoon celebrating in an entirely different manner” He states staring at me while I’m currently standing with my hands on my hips, staring at the shorts and tank top combo I have laid out on his bed - again, his bed not ours - he hasn’t asked me to move in yet so it was technically his even if it did have the new bed sheets I purchased a couple weeks back with the matching throw cushions on it. The barely-there outfit that I was currently sporting and that had him licking his lips as he pushed himself off of the doorway to walk to me and wrap his arms around my body from behind was a bralette and a pair of his Chelsea shorts.

“Ok sorted, you’re in denim shorts so I’m going to wear mine too. Done ok move get off me I need to change or we’re going to be late” I exclaimed as I pushed him off me with my hips. A bad move? Absolutely not. I got to feel all of him against me and remind him of what he gets to come home to every evening, if he choses.

“Wow what's the rush now Mils? Why are you walking around like you’ve got ants in your pants?” He questioned as he tightened his grip on me and turned me so I was facing him, looking up into his curious baby blues.

“And don’t say nothing, I’ve picked up on all of your tells already” He further questioned as he could see the wheels begin to turn behind my eyes, desperate to come up with an excuse to mask my jitters so I wouldn’t have to tell him the truth.

“I regret ever letting you become friends with Fede, he’s spilling all of my secrets...Ok fine. I’m nervous to see Jack. I haven’t seen him since...ya’know and I haven't spoken to him since I gave him a telling off before international break and Ben I promise you I haven't thought about him once but I’m still worried that there's unresolved anger there from him and I don’t want to get into it again just when we’re getting back into the groove of us and it’ll impact your friendsh-” my rambling was cut off by his lips, which were simultaneously reminding me to breathe between my words and leaving me breathless at the same time. He always did have a way with his lips, the power they held over me was unmatched by anything.

“Calm down love, I promise it’ll be okay. Jack and I have had it out already, a long chat on international duties which may have only been prompted because Mase and Dec locked us in the kit room after our first session, sorted it all out.” Ben reassured me as he began to rub his thumbs over my cheeks and his hands held both sides of my face.

“I do know he wants to apologise to you though - so don’t be surprised if he tries to do that early on in the evening. You know just how awkward he can be so he’ll probably spring it on you before you’ve even put your bag down.”

“Oh great, I’m gonna need to do a couple shots before we leave the house - you’re good to drive right?” I said as I walked from his grasp and down the stairs to grab the bottle of vodka for some good old fashioned dutch courage.

______________________________________________________________

Ben was right about Jack, he had approached the couple only moments after they had arrived at Azpi’s house. Amelia had spotted him making his way towards them so she began to walk in a different direction to Ben, stretching their interlocked hands and letting him go as she mumbled something about needing to put her bag down. Ben really knew both of them too well. Jack gave Ben a hug hello, still in the grovelling stage of repairing their friendship.

“Hey bro, how’s it goin?” Jack spoke as he pulled away from Ben.

“Yeah bro all’s good with me, how are you? Congrats on the move again, million dollar geez you are, aren’t ya? Don’t forget me when you're mingling with Messi in a couple years” Ben joked back with the boy who has been literally a brother to him for the last few years.

“Ahhh you’re jokin me, could never forget a brother could I? We’re basically blood at this point I reckon. Where’d Mils run off ta?” Jack questioned with his arm around Ben’s neck, both of the boys looking out into the garden for the girl in question.

“Right here super Jack” Amelia spoke from behind them. During their brief discussion, Amelia had put her bag down and ran inside to grab herself a drink before walking out to face the music of Jack’s apology. Overhearing how lighthearted he was with Ben, coupled with the reassurance that Ben had provided her earlier in the evening plus the two or three vodka shots she had downed in their kitchen before coming to the afterparty had meant that she left her worries at the door.

“Mils, darlin', you already know what's coming but I truly am sorry...to both of ya ya’know. Benny, we’ve already had it out and it took me ages to get over that black eye but please believe me when I tell ya I am so sorry for treating you that way Amelia. From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry and I regret nothing more than how I made you feel.” Jack could feel himself getting teary whilst thinking about how he made the girl feel, how he made his best mate and chosen brother feel, how he really put a spanner in the works of their blossoming relationship.

“Jack, I’m not going to say it was ok because it wasn't. But it wasn’t just your fault, I also played a part in it that has me cursing myself every day for ruining things with Benj. I forgive you, Jacky.” Amelia spoke while reaching up and wrapping her arms around Jack’s neck to give him one of her signature squeezy hugs, to truly convey that she was moving on from their tumultuous past and hoped that he could stop beating himself up over it and do the same.

Jack had left the couple to return to the table and grab himself a refill of his drink. Ben’s arm had found its natural position around Amelia’s shoulders as they both stood there looking out at their friends. However, Ben was looking down at Amelia. Without missing a beat and keeping her eyes focused out on the yard, Amelia spoke only loud enough for Ben to hear.

“So, you gave Jack a black eye over me huh? That’s hot”

Amelia took a few steps forward before turning to look at the expression on Ben’s face as she continued to walk away from him, backwards. The slight shock turned into a full on smirk as he walked towards her eager to close the gap between them with a kiss. He knew she loved him with her whole heart, but he hoped that she would understand just how much he loved her right back.

The Proposal | la proposta

[libraryofloveletters]

in a matter of seconds, the world crumbled

Summery: The thought of not being able to tell Eddie how he felt never crossed his mind until that moment, the moment the world crumbled

 post-coda of 4x13 in which things take a turn for the worse.

Warnings: blood, hospitals, medical inaccuracies, injuries, death.

A/N: Thought I'd try my hand at breaking your hearts. Do forgive the medical inaccuracies, I don’t know medical terminology for shit. Also for my beloved Logan because I told her I was making it sad @mrs-dr-reid

[AO3 LINK]

---

The warmth of the blood splattered across his face caused his own blood to run cold.

The gaping hole in his shoulder as he stood across from him, the two of them frozen in time.

Everything happened so fast.

Buck didn’t have a chance to register what had happened. One minute he and Eddie were talking and the next he was on the floor. Buck and Eddie were both in shock. The blood soaked through his uniform, Buck couldn’t bring himself to move - everything in him was screaming to run toward Eddie but physically couldn’t.

If it weren’t for Captain Metha, Buck would be right next to Eddie with a bullet in him too.

The next 5 minutes were a blur.

Buck was beside the truck on the floor, his eyes glued to Eddie.

Eddie was slipping and he was slipping fast.

“Shots fired! Firefighter is down, I repeat, firefighter is down!”

“Eddie,” he mumbled. “His name is Eddie.” Buck says to himself.

All Buck wanted to do was run towards Eddie, to help him like Eddie had helped him when he was pinned under the truck not so long ago but he couldn’t.

Eddie’s breaths were slow and heavy, it seemed like it hurt him to breathe. The blood trickled across the concrete, the pool of blood becoming bigger by the second.

Eddie’s eyes found Buck’s.

The honey brown eyes that Buck loved so much were filled with fear yet were so empty at the same time.

It was almost as if Eddie knew no one would be able to come help him before he bled out- of course he knew, it was his job to know how to assess the situation and how much time someone had.

The ocean blue eyes that Eddie could stare into forever would be the last thing he saw.

Buck’s heart broke every second little by little, watching as Eddie’s eyes began to shut and how his hand shifted slightly, reaching towards him.

The moment Eddie’s eyes shut was the moment Buck went into overdrive. He pulled himself up. Buck could care less if there was a sniper somewhere.

Eddie needed him- he needed Eddie.

He dropped to his knees beside him, rolling Eddie onto his back. There was a patch of red against his face beside he had passed out face down in the pool of blood - the sight of him made Buck sick to his stomach.

“Eddie,” Buck patted his face, “Come on, wake up.” he calls and pulls the uniform shirt open. The hole was in his shoulder, his skin stained red.

Buck pulled him up towards him to feel behind his shoulder, trying to feel if there was an exit wound and there was - now it made sense as to why he bled out so fast.

It was just Eddie and Buck in the middle of the road. The truck parked to one side and the ambulances still in their spots. Buck holding and pressing on both sides of the wound would only do so much for Eddie.

He wasn’t a medic, he was trying his best and Buck's best was all Eddie had then because no one was coming.

No one moved an inch. Everyone was still hunkered down behind the trucks and the ambulances.

But then again, no one else loved Eddie the way Buck did.

“Eddie, come on.” Buck patted his face, the blood from his face smudging against the clean skin. “Eddie wake up, please” His voice broke at the end.

Maybe his best wasn’t enough.

He was getting in his head. He couldn’t do that, now wasn’t the time.

“Why are you all standing around?!” The change from sadness to anger was a quick one.

He knew Eddie wouldn't make it if he didn’t get some actual medical care. Then and only then did someone come running towards him. He didn’t know him but he was one of the paramedics on scene from before. The paramedic took over, Buck shifted to the other side of Eddie. His hand now stained red from the blood but he grabbed Eddie’s hand anyways.

Even if he wasn’t conscious, he needed him to know that he was there, that he had his back.

He watched as they loaded him onto the stretcher, moved him into the ambulance and he was there right by his side on the ride to the hospital.

The heavy feeling settling in his stomach, he was going to be sick. He didn’t feel like this when he found Maddie after Doug. He knew Maddie was gonna be okay although she was hurt but Eddie- he had lost so much blood, his skin was pale and the heart rate much slower than it should be.

Glancing down at his hand, Buck’s thumb rubbed gently over Eddie’s hand. He hadn’t let go except for when they lifted him onto the stretcher.

“Is that normal ?” eyes glued to the monitor, shifting down to the million and one wires attached to Eddie right now.

“He’s lost a lot of blood, his heart is just pumping slower than it would because of the lack of blood.”

In some way, Eddie looked peaceful.

Almost too peaceful.

The ambulance came to a stop, the doors opened and they began pulling the stretcher out. Buck follows them as they tell the doctor what happened.

The stretcher rolls into the surgery prep corridor, through the doors and Buck follows them in but no one seemed to notice that he wasn’t supposed to be there.

“Sir?” a nurse finally noticed him by the door as they removed the rest of the blood soaked clothes from Eddie.

“Sir?” they call once more, a hand gently touching his arm bringing him back to reality.

He turns, “you can’t be in here. We’ll take you to the waiting room.”

“No, no it’s- I know where it is.” he steps back from the room slowly just as they begin rolling the stretcher towards the OR.

There’s a phone ringing but Buck’s eyes are glued to Eddie. Soon enough he realizes it’s his phone.

There are splotches of red on the case from the splatters of blood that were everywhere. Everything on him was covered in blood.

“Hello ?”

“Buck, did you take the car?” Bobby’s voice rang through the phone.

“What?”

“You know, red one, says battalion 7 on the side ?” a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“Oh uh- yeah sorry. I have to go get it” Buck had completely forgotten about the car, all his focus was on Eddie.

“Go get it? Where are you ?” Bobby’s voice is filled with concern and confusion.

“Hospital” he mumbles.

“Why?”

“Ed- Eddie was,” he let out a breath, “Eddie was shot. I um- I have to get the car, I’ll call you back.”

“No, Buck. Buck, listen to me- stay where you are. We’re on our way. Forget about the car.”

Before he could protest, Bobby hung up.

---

The waiting room was quiet, there was an older couple in there waiting for their grandbaby to arrive is what he deduced from their conversation.

“Buck?” Bobby called, he was first to step into the waiting room. Hen, Chimney and Maddie were following behind him.

Buck stood and turned to face them. The blood still splattered across his face, the red protruding against the white of the shirt. None of them knew that Buck was with Eddie, except for Chim but they hadn’t realized how close Eddie Buck must have been.

“Where is he?” Bobby asks, taking a seat beside the chair Buck was sitting in.

“Surgery, the nurse just came by and said it’ll be a little longer.”

Maddie pushes past Chimney, her arms open waiting for her little brother who on cue, falls into her arms. She held him as he sniffled, holding back the tears.

“It’s okay Buck, he’ll be okay.” Her hands lift his head from her shoulder, cupping his face. Her eyes studied him, his eyes red aside from the splatters- he had been crying before they showed up.

She knew her brother, she had taken care of him all her life.

“I know,” she gives him a sympathetic smile before Buck’s head falls back against her shoulder.

Maddie was there, she was holding him and Chimney was sitting across from them. “Where’s Jee?”

“With Mr and Mrs. Lee. Where’s Christopher ?”

“Chris.. Oh my god. Maddie, I-”

“Hey, it’s okay. I can call Carla and ask her to stay with him for the night”

“No, he’s-” Buck sniffled, “he’s with Eddie's grandmother. I- I don’t want to worry her”

“Let Carla pick him up, she can stay with him if she isn’t busy, okay ? If she is, I’ll go stay with him.”

“You’d do that ?” He asks, not that he was surprised because that’s who Maddie was- always helping someone but because she knew.

Maddie had always known Buck loved Eddie, more than in a friend way. Which friend helps the oher raise their kid ? Babysit him, have sleepovers, would go to the end of the earth for ? Not to mention when Buck told her about the first visit after the tsmanui with the whole “there’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you.”

They were in love with each other, they just haven't realized it yet or maybe they did, they just didn’t know what to say yet.

“You should be the one that’s here when he wakes up”

---

Over the next few hours, the waiting room thinned out. Chimney and Maddie left first, stopping to pick up Jee Yun from the Lees on the way home. Athena had a shift and she offered to call in and stay but Bobby said he’d call her with updates.

Bobby and Hen were the last 2 with Buck. Hen left shortly after Athena, she promised the kids to be home for dinner and said she’d be back in the morning to see Eddie.

And now it was just Bobby and Buck.

“Come on, let’s get you a clean shirt. If you're going to be the first one to see him when he gets out of surgery, a non-blood covered shirt would be nice.” He gets up, waiting for Buck to join him.

Bobby pulls Buck along with him to the gift shop in an attempt to find a shirt for him. Buck was following him around like a lost puppy, mopping as he went along. Bobby pulled a shirt from the rack. It was a bright pink shirt with bold bubble letters that read ‘it’s a girl!’ on it. Buck’s brows furrowed before shaking his head. Bobby let out a small chuckle before putting it back on the rack.

“One minute we were standing there, having a conversation and the next he was on the ground. I couldn’t do anything, I didn’t move, I couldn’t- I didn’t help him.” his voice breaking at the end of the sentence, his head tilted back looking up at the ceiling in hopes of getting rid of the tears now welling up in his eyes.

Not that Bobby hadn’t seen him emotional or crying but he felt like he needed to hold himself together because the little voice in the back of his head kept saying ‘that’s what Eddie would do.’

“Hey,” Bobby’s hand reaches out, holding Buck’s shoulder. “You did- you were the first one over there. You were by his side the whole way.”

He sniffles, the back of his hand coming up to wipe the falling tears away from his face. “I know but i just feel like I didn’t do enough, maybe if I reacted faster, if I just-”

“Hey, he’s alive Buck, because you reacted. So don’t, not even for a second, blame yourself for not getting over to him faster”

Buck nodded, he had always been grateful for Bobby and his guidance.

Bobby tossed a shirt at Buck, a blue one with the hospital logo - something for him to change into. Bobby stepped away when he got a call, Buck changed into the clean shirt. The two of them headed back towards the waiting room.

“I’ll be back in about an hour, I've got to take Harry to Michael and I’ll come right back. Will you be okay ?” Bobby’s hand rested on Buck’s shoulder once more. “Yeah, I’ll be here. Tell him I said hi”

There he was, alone in the hospital waiting room. He had never actually been in there off duty. He had always been on the other side of the doors, he was the one they were usually waiting for but not today.

Today he sat alone in the room, the terribly uncomfortable chair poking his side, the blinding effect of the white hospital lights.

There were so many things he wanted to say to Eddie. All things he had said before but it was his way of hoping that if he wished hard enough, Eddie would wake up and he would be able to tell him.

“You’re an amazing father.”

“One of the best firefighters i have ever met.”

“My best friend”

“The one I’m in love with.”

The realization of the fact that he was in love with Eddie hit him when he saw Eddie fall to the ground. Somewhere in him had always known but it hit him then and there. All the unsaid feelings and subtle moments of touches shared between them bubbled up the surface.

“Diaz ?” the doctor called, looking around to see if anyone was there. Buck stood, his hands wiping on his jeans.

“Yeah? Is he okay ?”

“There were some complications. The loss of blood was severe, we were able to stable him before removing the bullet which then revealed another bleeder. He crashed twice.” the doctor let out a sigh, the room was quiet enough to hear a pin drop. He was bracing himself for bad news.

“We weren’t able to save him. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

The words rang through his head. He stood there, looking at the doctor- frozen once again.

Buck was sick to his stomach, the urge to puke was masked by the urge to cry and scream. There were so many emotions, he didn;t know how to feel or what to do.

All he knew was that Eddie wasn’t coming back.

His best friend.

The man he thought was the love of his life.

The thought of not being able to tell Eddie how he felt never crossed his mind until that moment.

He’d never get a chance to tell him he loves- loved him.

That was the moment the world crumbled.

[ptitelidio]

Finally I can post the Rivetra oneshot commission because I had a weird problem with my account.

for @himebee-5 (I know you already read it but I wanted to post it here :))

-> Petra acting jealous when girls are talking about her captain

Petra couldn’t think properly due to the noise around her, her head ached, and she needed some fresh air. The bar was full to burst at night, and her friends Nanaba and Nifa were drinking some beer, clearly not sober anymore. Their complexion was now reddish while some incomprehensible words were coming from their mouths.

Petra was the only one that didn’t drink too much, actually she barely touched her glass. Before going to the bar with her friends, Levi went to see her and made her promise to stay sober. He couldn’t be there tonight, he said he had something important to fix. She didn’t seek more, all she wanted to do was to have fun with her friends. Yet she still found it odd, it was a break day after all...

She stood and looked for an exit downstairs. Once out, Petra felt way better and could finally breathe. She sat against the brick wall and let her head falling back. She closed her eyes a moment, but rapidly something came to disturb her tranquility. She heard familiar voices from afar, women voices.

“Did you really talk to him? Is he really grumpy as everybody say?” said one tall blonde woman.

”Yes he is, but oddly it is somehow attractive...” the second one blushed with her hands on her cheeks as to hide her face.

”Even though he’s not physically attractive, I should say that he’s quite popular because he is strong and has a high position in the military... some women could be interested?”

“Oh I don’t think so Sofia, what woman would marry someone as coldhearted as he? Have you seen how he treats his subordinates? Do you remember that young boy who has a titan ability?”

“Yeah that’s right... I heard what happened at the court... then, do you really wanna try something with him or?”

“Well, even if he’s grumpy and all, Captain Levi’s still a good choice for a woman. After all, he could provide her some protection, even if it’s not by a marriage, he still could have fun with a woman, couldn’t he?”

”Probably.”

Petra was listening to their conversation with great attention, when it was about her captain, she was immediately careful to everything that was being said. She was the loyal kind and she respected too much her captain to hide something from him but this time... she didn’t want him to be disappointed when she’d told him women in town were planning on flirting with him only by interest. She didn’t want to hurt him so she kept the conversation for herself.

Later on, after Nifa and Nanaba went home by cart, Petra stayed a little longer outside. Her joyful mood from the little party totally wiped out and she felt a disagreeable twinge in her chest.

“Who are these women?” she whispered loudly. Why did she felt that way? After all, Captain Levi is not the type to flirt with unknown people. Then why?

“Petra?” Someone caught her off guard. It was Captain Levi, he was sitting in a cart waiting for her. She didn’t even notice him.

“What are you waiting for? Get in.” he said.

She raised her hand so he can help her getting in. She sat calmly but a million of questions were turning round in her mind. She hesitated to ask him a question, the question, actually Captain Levi seemed preoccupied by something.

“Captain, may I speak?”

He turned his face to look at her.

”You don’t have to be so formal with me, you’re not on duty, aren’t you?”

“Right.. so, uhm, I thought you had some urgent matter outside the town? So...”

”Yes that’s right. Actually... something unpleasant happened...” he mumbled some insults.

“Really? Do you want to talk about it?”

His eyes crossed hers with a glimpse.

”Not really, don’t worry. Not a big deal.”

She knew Captain Levi is a man of few words, but she couldn’t stop worrying when he spoke so little, in general when it was the case it meant that something annoyed him a lot.

“Is it Eren again?” she asked with a little smile.

“Fortunately not this time. Eld and Oluo take care of him right now.”

“I don’t think Oluo’s gonna make it...” she whispered by clenching her fist.

”What?” he asked.

“Oh nothing.. and what about Gunther? I didn’t heard much about him these times...”

“Don’t worry he’s going to be fine, I sent him back home. His injuries are not so bad.”

”Great...”

They went quiet for a while, Petra didn’t dare asking him again what was the matter and Levi was too preoccupied by her reaction if she knew what happened. But he wanted to know.

“Petra, what would you said if some lad asked your hand?”

”Uh? What do mean?”

”You know, even if, you.. you didn’t have feelings for them, would you still marry someone?”

Petra felt herself blushing because she could never imagine talking about love with her Captain.

“To be honest, feelings are important to me... I couldn’t imagine marrying someone without feeling something... for him.”

Her eyes lifted up to Levi’s and he seemed to be chewing the thing over.

”The thing is, marriage’s not good in a world with titans, y’know.”

”I understand. So, can I- can I ask you who is the origin of these troubles?”

”Tch.. it’s embarrassing...”

He stayed silent but he finally answered.

”Look, you have to keep this for yourself. I swear if you don’t–”

”Captain, don’t worry!” she immediately said.

”Okay then. Well. When I arrived at Mitlas, two women came in front of me and they asked me some weird questions.”

”Like?” she asked but she knew who it was about. She felt a fire burning inside.

”Y’know, some marriage stuffs. If I would marry one of them... or some crap. Plus, they had annoying attitude.”

”And what did you do?”

”I left. Then they said I was rude, I don’t understand. That’s probably true..”

Petra began to laugh out loud, even her Captain was startled. She laughed because she found his reaction quite funny, how he felt uncomfortable with them. But most importantly, she thought her reaction, being jealous, was a bit childish of her since he couldn’t even notice any ounce of romanticism.

When the horseman stopped at Karanes, Levi helped Petra stepping out of the cart and accompanied her until her front door.

”Thank you Captain, it’s nice of you. You shouldn’t pick me up to Karanes every night you know... if it’s bothering you–”

”Don’t worry Petra. It’s not. Besides, I hope to cross path with someone actually... but he never seems to be home this late.”

”Who’s that?”

”Your father. Is he home?”

“Oh he’s never home at this hour, he’s probably helping some friends. He’s good at selling haha.”

”I see.”

Petra didn’t know what to add, she wanted to invite him in but she was afraid to bother him. He surely had more important things to do than wandering with her like that.

”Do you have some tea?” Levi suddenly asked, pointing her door with his finger.

”Uh... I think I do, do you want some?”

Now they were drinking some tea in the silence of the night. Levi had been admiring her house and complimenting its cleanliness.

Petra hold her teacup with her two hands to warm them up and she said

”You know... I’ve been thinking about what I would do after the 57th expedition. I know that it took a lot of preparations so we will have a lot of free time after that.”

Levi sipped a little more tea in her cup.

”What if... well... if we succeed this mission, do you think... we could move together?”

”How?”

”I mean, I heard you didn’t have a proper house for yourself... and sometimes when I stay in the headquarters late at night, I notice that you sleep in one of those rooms... it doesn’t seem comfy at all.”

”That’s right but I’m not complaining. I already knew even worse, you know.”

”I saved some money because I also work as a waitress in my dad’s friend bar when I have time, well maybe you don’t want to live with me or–”

”I could probably do that. I guess. But y’know how I don’t like to talk about these matters if I don’t know you’re safe. We don’t know what will happen in the future...”

”It’s about the expedition, isn’t it?”

”Yeah. You’re probably aware that you’ll be in the front lines with the rest of the squad, right?”

”I do. That’s my duty after all.”

”I didn’t tell the brat, he still think you have to watch him. If I tell him you’ve been assigned to protect him because he’ll be used as a bait, he’s gonna screw it all up. Tch.”

“That’s right, he’s a bit impulsive. He’s a child after all,” she smiles softly. Then Petra began to laugh again, Levi was wondering what was the matter with her today.

She just felt more confident as he accepted to move with her.

”Captain I think... I didn’t act well when I heard those women talking about you that way...”

”Those women? Have you met ‘em?”

”That was a pure coincidence but yes. I didn’t talk to them but I think... I was a bit jealous. The very idea of seeing them flirting with you... it’s not that I don’t want you to be happy with a wife, but I hope you’ll have someone nice. That truly cares.”

Levi stands and take the teacups to the sink.

”I know. Don’t worry about that, you can believe me when I say that as a child I learned to analyze people. I’m able to notice who cares about me.” His glare stays on her a moment.

”It’s late now, I have to go. Thanks for the tea.”

”Wait Captain... I- Promise me you are not going to take some risks during the expedition.. I’m afraid I’m not going to watch you back for long.”

“Stop talking shit, Petra. You are one of the best soldiers in the military, you’re going to do just fine. But, if anything happens... you’re aware I won’t be able to do anything this time?”

”I know, anyway my duty is to offer my heart to humanity and I didn’t enroll for pleasure. I have a dream too...”

”Don’t worry, even if it’s dangerous... this time more than ever, I will have an eye on you. I’ll be close.”

“Thank you. Well, have a good night, Captain.”

Before leaving, Captain Levi grabbed Petra’s hair softly and put a little and chaste kiss on her forehead. Petra felt herself blushing so much, that was so unusual of him. Maybe it was their last goodbye before the expedition she thought.

”You too.”

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

My Spider-Man Ideas

Because I’m glad my good bro @kaijuguy19 asked me about this. I want to say and it’s not a secret I’m actually a big Spider-Man fan. And ever since last year. I wanted to make my own take on the character. And maybe I still will one day. But smaller maybe. But ever since this post I made. https://geekgemsspooksandtoons.tumblr.com/post/662905966119075840/to-be-honest-i-just-wanna-say-i-feel-like-maybe-i I think it’s best I just talk about it. 

In a way, I feel like this is what The Amazing Spider-Man series could’ve been maybe. Which is something I wanted to talk about. Despite some big criticisms towards that franchise. I don’t mind it’s place, and we can’t change history with it. And Spider-Man is in the MCU now.

This may not be all finished yet. Or put together much better. But this is practically my, “The Dark Knight” of the Spider-Man character. Yet also, I feel like maybe it’s best I don’t touch the Spider-Man franchise.

Because I feel like if fans, non fans, and whoever read this. They would honestly think, “GeekGem, please go back to The Mask franchise” because while I love Spider-Man, and the themes his character represent. Along with the many characters and stories. That have even inspired the likes of The Mask Rebirth strangely. But The Mask is maybe a series that is...maybe more suited for me...

I just wanted to say that I think people would be like, “Go back to The Mask franchise please. And never touch any Spider-Man related again” but I’m being way too harsh about myself. Now let’s begin. XD

Part 1.

I wanted to strangely make my own Spider-Man in a sense like Batman 1989. But I feel Spider-Man 2002 fills that hole. Including one of the old ideas that Peter has been Spider-Man for 5 years with no huge villains. But recently, it had gone to maybe his second year instead. Him being 19 and in college. With the origin not shown, but cleverly shown and told maybe akin to how Spectacular told it. And what I wanted Homecoming to do possibly. Or even something like that 2017 series. 

It mainly dealt with Quinten Beck’s Mysterio. And it was basically a more mature version of, “The Menace Of Mysterio” and basically, Mysterio’s first apperance. With Beck trying become a superhero by framing Spider-Man. But after he frames Spider-Man. He tries to showcase he’s even more of a hero by deciding to kill criminals. I remember a friend of mine understanding that he called him an evil(er) version of Neil Druckmann/Quentin Tarantino/Ken Levine.

Even though I was really gonna look into his story because comics had gone in more depth with him.

Other characters like Mary Jane, Gwen Stacy, Harry Osborn, Aunt May, and the employees at the Daily Bugle would be involved. With the main story of Peter recalling why he became Spider-Man in the first place. And with Mysterio practically being a foil to him. And there is the inclusion of Silver Stable being brought to take down Spider-Man. But her job has become more troubling with Mysterio. Yet I question if I still want her in this. 

Including it developed into something like the upcoming The Batman movie. With maybe Beck losing it more because the police hate the fact he’s begun killing criminals. But anyway, I wanna leave as it is. I just remembered the Silver Stable part. I wanna talk about the one I thought of the most. The one that I really wanted to do. Forgot to put Captain Stacy in this. Since I just wrote him down in part 2.

-

Part 2.

This idea is basically my The Dark Knight for Spider-Man. Like, literally. With the idea of using the Green Goblin, and really showcasing how dangerous the character is. And I really wanted to test the words, “With great power comes great responsibility”.

Think of this story if the Green Goblin replace the Joker in The Dark Knight. And you replace certain characters with Spider-Man characters. But if I recall, it’s mainly this idea of Goblin trying to teach Spider-Man the consequences of being a superhero. 

Going in line with his original version like he first appeared. This is Norman Osborn. But it’s never revealed until the end. And it’s kind of a mystery. And with Norman faking his death by a terrorist attack by the Green Goblin. With Norman before that, acting like an older and kind fatherly figure. When in reality, he’s a genuine horrible person hiding behind a persona. And with the Goblin persona, his abilities and all that. He uses the Green Goblin as an outlet to unleash who he truly is. Going with what how the 616 version of him is. There’s no split personality.

I will admit, the faking his own death thing might backfire on him if he wins. Maybe him with a back up plan that Norman was alive, and was taken hostage by the Goblin. With Norman making it look like that.

In a nutshell, the Green Goblin is practically who Norman is deep inside. And he tries to become the leader of organized crime. Until he meets Spider-Man. Where in this version, Green Goblin is like a cruel teacher, and he wants to really teach Spider-Man what it’s the huge consequences of being a superhero.

This dude is literally more like a boogeyman. He’s if Arkham Knight’s Scarecrow and Heath Ledger’s Joker were fused into one. But he‘s also basically if Ghostface was a supervillain with powers and gadgets. He has the glider, but he does other shit. Despite his original intention, he becomes Hell bent on making Spider-Man understand the responsibility of what he’s doing. 

With Green Goblin becoming more of a terrorist. That it becomes so bad. That Silver Stable is brought in likely by Captain George Stacy. That this problem with costumed people has gone too far. 

Goblin is killing members of the Wild Pack, police officers, and he’s just causing chaos to bring Spider-Man down. But when he figures out who Spider-Man is. It becomes even more personal.

At first, it seems like the story is gonna go the way of, “The Night Gwen Stacy Died”. And it’s scary because Gwen knows who Peter is, and is with him. But it’s different, with not Goblin taking an unconscious Gwen to the Brooklyn Bridge. It’s still the Brooklyn Bridge. But instead he kidnaps her, leaves her tied and gagged surrounded by a bunch of barrels that will explode. There’s no Spider-Man accidently killing Gwen with his webs. But instead...what happens is...much worse. To me personally.

Spider-Man saves Gwen, and stops the barrels from exploding. But it doesn’t go the route of, “What if Gwen Stacy had lived?” storyline. Instead, the Green Goblin’s plan wasn’t to kill Gwen. But something to destroy both her, and Peter mentally.

Instead, when Peter tries to go back to May’s house. Aunt May is literally killed by a bunch of hidden explosions. And during the same time or a little later. Captain George Stacy in his office is killed by similar hidden explosions. 

What happened is that because Goblin found out who Spider-Man was, and knew who he was dating. He felt like it was too easy to kill Gwen. But he wanted to do something possibly more extreme. Something that would still make Peter snap. But also destroy his relationship with Gwen.

He took the words from Spider-Man 2002, “The heart Osborn. First, we attack his heart” to literal heart. He kills Aunt May, and George Stacy in the most horrific way. Including destroying the home Peter grew up in. And after some time. Goblin literally calls Peter to pretty much rub it in that these are the consequences of him being Spider-Man. And that Gwen wasn’t the one he wanted to kill. With him possibly ending the conversation, talking about how it’s gonna end.

That it will end with one of them dying. But he doesn’t care. If Green Goblin kill Spider-Man, he wins. If Spider-Man kills Green Goblin, Spider-Man will be viewed maybe more as a menace. Because he likely killed Green Goblin out of pure rage. Which Goblin tried to create, he unleashes the anger that Peter tries to hold in. And with his mother figure killed in such a way, and a friend who was like a new father figure killed in a similar fashion. It’s literally a cruel test Goblin is trying to pull.

And in the end, during some stuff, with Spider-Man nearly killing Goblin like in the comics. But soon stopping himself when he learns that it was Norman all along. And it ends with Norman like the 2002 film and comics, accidently killing himself with the gilder. He never comes back, he’s truly dead.

On one point, Spider-Man stops himself from killing Goblin, and Norman kills himself instead. But the other point is something else instead. Norman is revealed to the the Green Goblin, putting Oscorp in a heap of shit, and people looking at Harry strangely. And despite comforting each other, but because of the horrible events.

Gwen decides that it’s maybe best to break up with Peter. Understanding her being with Peter seemed to have gotten her father killed. She doesn’t hate Peter. But she seems to hate Spider-Man. That persona, not Peter himself. 

-

Part 3. 

This was the most challenging one. Because I really wondered about the villains. There was Kraven with possibly a Kraven’s Last Hunt story. Hobgoblin because Peter would lose his shit at another Goblin. But also the idea of the symbiote suit being in the story. And during this whole development process from last year. Characters like Miles and Black Cat were involved. But I’m not sure now. With the idea that Miles may become a Spider-Man one day. And Black Cat being bothered by black suit Spider-Man.

Yet recently, despite it may feel overstuffed. But it’s not three villains. And it could be as long as it wants. 

This part is basically Spider-Man 2 fused with Spider-Man 3. With the big focus of the aftermath of Green Goblin's destruction upon New York City. And Peter’s grief with the loss of Aunt May, George Stacy, and Gwen deciding to leave him. Despite he fully understands and respects Gwen for leaving him. But it’s hard.

But also with Mary Jane truly becoming Peter’s true love. After the traumatic loss and Gwen leaving New York. I know and understand Gwen’s death was a huge part of changing Mary Jane as a person because they were friends with a friendly rivalry that I recall. I...wanted to make it less depressing. Despite May was the one replacing Gwen’s death. Because that seems maybe more powerful, it depends on how you see it. Mainly with the idea that May never did anything wrong, and it was such an easy kill for Goblin. It’s like Uncle Ben’s death all over again.

Yet again, the concept of part 3 is of Peter truly embracing being Spider-Man. And not letting his darkness take ahold of him after the death of the woman that raised him. With the symbiote bringing out repressed anger even more. And made worse after the death of Aunt May. 

But it’s Mary Jane that helps him overcome that darkness. And I wanna share this video that explains that more. Because I feel like that could’ve been an amazing plot point for The Amazing Spider-Man 3 if done right. 

The video is by Sevenwebheads. I loved this guy before he sadly left YouTube out of nowhere.

And with how I talked about this part. It being Spider-Man 2 fused with Spider-Man 3. The villains being Doc Ock, and Venom. And in a sense, Peter is his own villain. Because of the symbiote. 

It’s possible Doc Ock like his 2004 film version is maybe more sympathetic. And honestly more understandable as a villain than Norman Osborn. 

Quentin Beck/Mysterio is a man who is crushed by his ambitions, and being a foil to Peter’s belief about responsibility and being a superhero.

Silver Stable is a mercenary that’s more like a complex character. Yet gets into conflict with Spider-Man. Not really a villain.

The Green Goblin/Norman Osborn in this is pretty much the embodiment of pure evil. Practically enjoying what he is doing, and not caring what the consequences are. A total anti-thesis to everything Spider-Man represents. And would make other villains or anti heroes look at him like, “What the fuck is wrong with you!?”

With Doc Ock again, being more sympathetic, but still a villain. Akin to Spider-Man 2′s Alfred Molina. And Eddie Brock, who I think should have sprinkled throughout this three part story. 

With Venom and Eddie. I really like them both, I really do. But I wanted to do a version that would make sense. Instead of copying the 616 version or only the Ultimate version. Considering in a sense, the 616 Eddie isn’t much of a foil to Peter. Where the Ultimate version seems more like that in a sense.

I feel like the symbiote shouldn’t be an alien from outer space. Because that opens a whole can of worms. I seriously feel like the alien aspect doesn’t mesh with the more grounded take of Spider-Man. And it just at times makes me feel fine with the idea of Venom not being included in Spider-Man’s mythos. Despite how iconic he is.

So the symbiote’s origins would be more involved with science than from outer space. And with Eddie not only being a bit more complex. Yet he is also a foil to both Peter and Mary Jane. While you can understand him, he practically becomes more unhinged and possibly has some relations with Peter like in Ultimate and Spectacular. And when I think about, even using some elements from The Amazing Spider-Man 2 mobile game version of Eddie/Venom.

His character would be more in line with how Todd McFarlane and David Michelinie introduced the character. But while there is some dark comedy. It’s seriously more frightening. Another boogeyman in a sense like Green Goblin. With his first appearance being like in The Amazing Spider-Man issue 299. And Venom representing one of the many mistakes Spider-Man made. That being the birth of Venom and it bonding to Eddie Brock. Creating a villain that Peter feels responsible for.

I guess in a sense, I wanted to use three of Spider-Man biggest villains. Those being Green Goblin, Doc Ock, and Venom. With Mysterio and Silver Stable included. There is the idea of Carnage. Even though I liked the inclusion of Carnage in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 game. And Cletus is truly a foil to everything Peter is. I really wanted to showcase Venom as that. Still wondering about Black Cat because I love Felicia.

With this part. Considering how tough this whole trilogy is. This part is basically I guess, the light in the darkest hour. 

Where you have moments like a black suited Spider-Man nearly killing Doc Ock, and even before that, ripping off one of his arms, or maybe all of them. I’m not sure. But it’s nearly killing Doc Ock that truly makes Peter if his anger has truly gone too far. And an interaction with Mary Jane who is the biggest person who has been comforting him. Helping him through his grief, after everything that had happened with him. 

Peter chooses Mary Jane over keeping the symbiote. And because of his rejection of the symbiote, it bonds with Eddie. Who is practically a final test for Peter in this story. The dark reflection of what he could’ve became. A man despite you can feel for him. Eddie slowly became more sociopathic, became more irresponsible, and becoming more consumed with hate and anger.

The light rising above dark, and moving on with life. Because if we cling on to the past. We’ll be stuck there forever. And with Peter being a pessimist who has optimistic moments. This whole trilogy is like an endurance test of him as Spider-Man. 

I really wanted to bring to life the earlier stories of Spider-Man from Stan Lee and Steve Ditko. It’s basically a love letter to the character and his mythos. Focusing on some more darker elements like Peter’s anger issues, and other things. But also dealing with the many themes about the character. But it’s even more rough when you replace Spider-Man 2′s Doc Ock with Green Goblin. And you maybe place Doc Ock in Spider-Man 3. 

Even though I feel like Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man trilogy is maybe the perfect representation of the character. Despite all the criticisms towards Spider-Man 3. And other people’s nitpicks among many things. I feel like those films REALLY got Spider-Man right. Along with others like The Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon and others.

Think I’ve said enough. I’ll talk other stuff in the reblogs. But yeah...which I’ll say this in a reblog. Despite I don’t mind flawed films...I wished The Amazing Spider-Man franchise took a direction like this. 

[fandomlifechoseme]

Oooh just noticed requests are open. Can I get ban with a socially awkward s/o who is really bad at asking for help because they feel they are being annoying and getting in the way. Thankyou your posts are awesome 💞💞

“I’m glad you like my posts :)

I was very amused when Ban started fighting a enemy without realising. He and Meliodas were arguing again and a few ‘Holy Knights’ tried attacking them. I sat on a rock just chilling and watching this go down. The blade of the well known holy knight called Gilthunder shot past my ear just chopping off a little bit of my hair. 

“Are you asleep. Or did you just not notice your death approaching you” Howzer seemed to be walking with Gilthunder, I must of missed him.

“No, They dodged at the last second.” They must be discussing me so I take their distraction and jump into the air straight next to Elizabeth. 

“Sup. Noticed anything different?” I ask the princess. I know Meliodas would loose his cool if anything happened to her so I grabbed her and started walking away.

“Sir Meliodas and Sir Ban are fighting Holy Knights” I nod walking into the Forrest. We get passed the first couple of trees and the familiar dudes pop into my view.

“Sorry, But we’ll be taking Princess Elizabeth from here” As usual I start fighting them. I decide to throw them off their game a little bit.

“Oh Gilthunder, I thought you were supposed to be a good fighter!” This gets him fired up and he decides to use his lightning attack. As I expected. I try to bait Howzer into using Tempest

“Dam, I thought this would be harder!” (That’s what she said)

It was a success. Now I had their most powerful attacks headed towards me. 

“NOW MELIODAS!” I scream and he drops from the tree and uses full counter. We get out of there and get back to Hawks Mom. 

Time Skip Brought to you by Ban’s drinking problem

We were all in the bar drinking our fears and the years away but I couldn’t get my mind off what Howzer said.

‘your death approaching you’

I could of died. I’m not gonna lie, when Gilthunder said I dodged at the last second, he was wrong. I moved to get a better view of the battle below. I really would of died. That blade would of gone straight through my head then 

Bye bye y/n

“You good babe?” Ban brings me out of my thoughts.

“I’m fine” LIESSSSSSSSSSS. I was a little stressed but it was nothing to be worried about! Especially with what he goes through daily. Ban gives me his ok look and walks back over to join the crowd.

I just have to make sure that I never get caught off guard again.

Time skip brought to you buy Meliodas giving people food poisoning

It’s been a month since the attack. Every night when Ban falls asleep I sneak out and train until the sun rises then sneak back into bed until Ban wakes up. Then he invites me to train with him usually. Today I wasn’t so lucky. I went out for training and started fighting a few monsters I found when I hear a dreaded 

“Watch ya doing babe?”

“I was going out to get some fresh air and I ran into a monster”

“That’s funny, Captain says he saw you out here for a couple nights in a row fighting monsters, You must have rotten luck huh?”

“terrible luck” I say avoiding eye contact. Without realising he took a few steps towards me and yeeted me onto his shoulder.

“Well, lets get back to bed. Yanno I’m pretty tired. We should skip training today and go check out the stores! We are in a pretty nice town” I could tell he was trying to get me to spill what was on my mind. 

“Fine. But only if we can get pumpkin pie on our way back” I can feel his shoulder move like he was laughing.

“Didn’t you get the captain to make you one last week?”

“Well excuse me if I want to get something that tastes nice for once!” 

We laugh and he places me on the ground. 

“Now are you gonna tell me what has you stressed or do you not trust me?”

“It’s not that big of a deal, It’s just me being annoying.” He stops pacing and grabs my hands.

“If it’s stressing you out then it is a big deal to me. I am your boyfriend or did you forget?”

“How could I forget? Whenever you get drunk you say it to anyone who will listen.”

“Don’t avoid the question” He says. I sigh and point over to a little cafe.

“Let’s get some pie and tea and I’ll tell you.” We make our way in and get a table. 

“Now. What’s the problem?”

“Well, when we got attacked by Gilthunder and Howzer, I almost got killed. I wasn’t paying attention and his blade missed my head by dumb luck, I got scared and I didn’t want that to happen again so I trained harder” 

He looks at me with his signature smirk.

“You think I’d let you die? I saw what was going to happen that day, so I moved Captain and I’s fight so you would move your head” 

My jaw drops. What? how did he even??

“You did that? Just to save me?”

“I’d rather die then see you die Y/n and since I can’t die, you can’t either”

[bangingoutthetunes]

Snowfall.

A drabble in which you walk home with your boyfriend in the snow and get to cuddle + braid his hair. 

Word count: 2.3k

tags: hair braiding, fluff, bokuto is a human puppy 

~

“Come on, (name)-kun! It’s literally so cold out here I might die!” Kotarou pulled your hand forward and you almost tripped at the sudden jerk. He looked back over his shoulder, puppy-dog eyes wide and shining. A cheerful grin had found itself onto its face at your smile. 

“It’s not like I want to be out here in the cold, Kou! I just need to catch my breath, we’ve been running for the past ten minutes and although you’re wearing pants, I’m wearing a skirt and tights. Gimme a break!” If just for a moment, you felt burningly jealous of the pants the Fukurodani’s boys uniform required; they would’ve definitely kept you warm. Panting from the exhaustion, you trembled in his grip a little bit. He walked over to you and pulled you into his chest, chin resting on your hair and arms wrapped around your waist. He smelled like soap and vanilla and like the best parts of cold December afternoons. 

Peering to the left of his arm, you took in the scenery around you; snowflakes had begun to blanket rooftops and adorn the naked trees, minivans would drive by full with mothers and their children’s friends, bike riders would exhale dragon puffs of condensation, and some other classmates were huddling at a corner shop to pick up some hot chocolate and coffee to continue on their way. 

Having moved from the Miyagi prefecture in early March of this year, you hadn’t gotten to experience snow in a small town on the outskirts of Tokyo. This was of the first times you got to enjoy the gentle fall of friendly snow without having to worry about negative repercussions, and in this moment you wouldn’t rather be anywhere else or with anyone else than Bokuto Koutaoru, the six foot puppy that wanted to take you to his house through the long route so you could catch sight of all the wonderful sights his town had to offer. It was bitter cold outside, but the warmth inside of your chest, slowly spreading to your limbs, was enough to keep you running. 

“Are you ready to keep going, princess?” he mumbled into your forehead, absentmindedly doodling on your back with his mitten-covered fingertips.  

“Yeah, I’m all warmed up now!” You smiled into his chest, burying your nose into his vest and planting a kiss there as a silent thank you. 

“Great, because tag,” he booped you on the forehead with his index finger and stepped back,” you’re it! Last one home owes a cherry soda!” He laughed, brilliant like the sun stretching its fingers through the clouds. The corners of his eyes crinkle and he wrinkled his nose,  clearly pleased with himself. 

“Oh, it’s on!” You chased after him, having committed the route to memory from walks home so many times before. You ran at a quick pace, but your legs were so much shorter and his training was so much more intense that you could barely stay at fifteen feet behind him. Damn  him and his stupid volleyball captain gig! 

He slowed down, if just for a moment, to let you catch up to him. He stretched his hand out to you, beckoning for you to hold it. “Come on, let’s get there quicker!” Once you laced your fingers into his own, he yanked you forwards. In no time, you made it to his doorstep. He fished for his keys in his coat pocket and unlocked the door with his left hand, tugging you into the warmth as soon as the door flew open. A gust of hot air flew out of the house, peppering your face in kisses and very welcomed heat. Kotarou stepped inside, and you followed suit behind him, the two of you placing your bookbags on the floor. You began to kick your uniform shoes off when he sneaked up behind you, wrapped his hands together at your belly and pulled you up into the air. “H-hey!” He laughed at your surprise and pulled your back into his chest,  waddling with you towards his room. 

“Give me a sec, I’ve just gotta get the door-” he placed you down on the flooring while he fiddled with the handle and the door slid open at the kick of his foot. He ushered you inside. “Come, sit on the bed! Get comfortable and change out of the uniform, you’re probably freezing right?” Concern laced his voice as he walked over to where you sat and he cocked his head to the side. “I think I’ll get into something more comfortable, thank you baby!” You reached over to grab his hand and gave it a kiss behind his knuckles,  and you could swear you saw him shiver from the ghosting of your lips. 

“You’re welcome! I’ll be back in a bit, I’m just gonna get some clothes from the dryer and bring us some snacks. I went out with ‘Kaashi the other day and we picked out some things for you!” Before he walked out of his room, he turned back to wink and blow you a kiss. You giggled at him. God,  you’d be damned if he wasn’t the cutest thing to walk this earth. Stretching your arms above your head and wiggling out of the cold, you looked around his room to try and figure out where exactly he had his pajamas. You took a shot at his dresser, and it took a bit of digging but you found the perfect outfit: an oversized grey shirt with old sweatpants would do just fine to warm you up. You slipped out of your blazer and wiggled the skirt off while admiring the decorations in his room; he had some volleyball posters, some framed pictures of him with his sisters, and atop his dresser you saw some papers that made your heart flutter; he had your first movie ticket, Weathering With You, framed and the post-its you’d slipped into his locker decorating the outside of the frame. To the left, he also had a printed out picture he took of the two of you on his phone while you shared a chocolate ice cream cone (with extra sprinkles, of course). 

You’d been to Koutarou’s house before, but you hadn’t gotten the chance to walk around his room; since his parents were out working, you’d come after school (on the rare days he didn’t have practice) and cook with him. One of your favorite memories of trying to cook with him was when you tried teaching him how to finely dice scallions; the poor boy couldn’t cut thinly if his life depended on it, and whenever he saw the knife get close to his thumb he would flinch. 

You wiggled into his shirt and plopped onto his bed. He had a plush vabo-chan and a horned owl plushie resting in between his pillows. You kicked his throw blanket up so it could cover your legs and shut your eyes for a bit, nothing on your mind except for your angel’s smile and his kisses peppering your forehead. You could feel yourself slipping into a comfortable vibe and it was so nice to be able to rest your body after running in the snow for such a long while. At a knock on the wall, your eyes fluttered open and your gaze traced your boyfriend’s form, hair damp (but drying) against his forehead, long-sleeve shirt tight against his chest, eyes blown wide and smiling, and packs of sour gummies and dark chocolate in his hands. He bumped his body against the light switch to turn the lights in the room off, allowing only the soft glow reflected from white snow to enter from his window.

He ran over to the bed and threw the candies at its foot as he wrapped you in a bear hug. “You look wonderful in my clothes, baby!” He chirped, voice dripping with adoration, as he admired you in his clothes. He was so warm and soft against you, and you wrapped your hands together at the base of his neck and pecked his lips. They tasted like hot chocolate and chapstick and felt surprisingly soft for the cold weather. Even if his lips were chapped, you still wouldn’t have wanted to kiss anyone else’s. You pulled away from the kiss to gaze into his eyes, color reminiscent of sunflowers and sunshine, and your heart fluttered in your chest as his gaze lidded and his eyes smiled. 

“What do you want to watch, princess? After all, movie night was your idea!”

You thought for a second, “Hmm, I saw that there was a cool documentary on netflix about international chefs! We could learn a thing or two from it so we can cook the best meal ever, right?”

He threw his head back in laughter and scooched closer to you on the bed, wiggling his feet beneath the blanket and pulling it up so it could cover the two of you.  He turned the TV on, remote in hand, and clicked through the buttons until he saw the Netflix app. Flicking over to the Documentaries, he paused when he saw some about food. “Is it the Street Food one?”

“Yeah, baby. We can watch a couple of episodes, the order doesn’t really matter anyways.”

“Cool! I want to watch the one about Argentina! I’ve heard they have amazing steak down there.” For some reason, you hadn’t expected his favorite food to be steak and instead for it to be something more like pure sugar. It had nothing to do with his energy level…

In spite of the absolute fact that he was always riled up and lively, in this moment with his head rested on your right shoulder, he looked at peace. His eyes were glued to the screen (or so you thought, because his gaze was really fixed on your arm as he tried to count all of the freckles there), his breathing was even, slow, and his fingers were gently grazing against the side of your left arm. He really did look like an angel, a piece of expired heaven that fell into your lap and promised to be forever yours. You smiled down at him in a lazy fashion and bent your neck to give him a kiss on his scalp. It smelled crisp and clean, and your belly fluttered when he looked up at you from quirked eyebrows. His hair looked amazing when it was down and, if anything, you almost preferred it to the spiky owl look. 

He shifted his weight so he could instead lay his head on your lap. You laced your fingers into his two-toned hair and lightly scratched his tresses. He had been gifted with many things, and among them was a thick head of hair; his locks were silky and plentiful; every meander of your fingers led to more strands  resting between them. He seemed to lean into your touch and sighed contentedly when you scratched at a spot at his head that was left of center. He really seemed to like when you would twirl his locks on your fingers, and it made you wonder…

“Kou?”

“Hmm?”

“Could I braid your hair?”

He let out a hearty laugh and turned his head to look up at you. “I’d love nothing more, (name)-kun. Go ahead.”

You sighed, running both hands through his scalp and feeling the silk slide in between your knuckles was so unexpected but so so welcome. He leaned into the touch and tilted his head forward to let you play with more of his hair. 

“(name)-kun, it tickles!” He laughed at the foreign sensation and his eyes crinkled shut. He was the sun. 

Scratching his head with your fingerpads, you ran the fingers of your right hand up his arm to let him know that he was safe and that the  new sensation was just that, something he should begin to get used to. He leaned into your touch, trusting, peaceful, calm. You separated three locks in between your knuckles and began to twist the center and right pieces together. Then, you twisted the right and left ones together, then the left and center. It was difficult because of his shaggy layered haircut, but you could tell from his staggered breathing and the nuzzling of his nose into your thighs that he was absolutely loving this. The first braid looked so pretty because of the contrast between his black roots and silvery locks, and you took a scrunchie from your wrist to tie it in place. Granted, it took five twists and the braid looked SUPER clunky, but you felt like that gave it so much charm. You tugged on the hair behind his right ear and began to weave it together like Arachne weaving her master tapestries, and braid begot yet another until the right side of his head was all tied up in a knot that you would (hopefully) be able to detangle. Hair tucked behind his ear, you noticed that he had a dusting of freckles on the pinna that trailed down to the nape of his neck. The black dusting of freckles against pale skin looked like stardust. He was beautiful. 

His breathing steadied, and it seemed like he had fallen asleep at the behest of your touch. A smile was painted onto his face, his nostrils flared and his lips half-parted as if he were having a pleasant dream. This was too much, it was too cute. You shifted around for your phone and took a picture of him in your lap, face glowing from the chatter and brightness of an argentine street restaurant. He looked perfect. You sent his phone the picture and saw it buzz on the bed, screen illuminated with a picture of him giving you a kiss on the forehead. You began to smile, and a look out the window proved that the snowfall had gotten heavier.  Your own exhaustion from the day began to settle in and take you prisoner. In between the soft whirr of the heating, Kotarou’s steady breathing, the soft background noise of steak sizzling and Spanish chatter, and the delicate dance of the snowflakes outside, you began to slip into a peaceful slumber. This would be the first of many naps with Bokuto to come. 

[stanzoeywade]

Poppy x MC Tinder AU

Summary: based off that one tumblr post about a girl who never experienced an orgasm and their friend hooks them up with their lesbian friend. aka, the au that no one asked for.

in which Veronica and Chloe find out that Poppy's never experienced an orgasm and they decide to help her out by creating a tinder account for her, cue MC finding her account and shenanigans happen.

Warnings: swear words maybe some smut but nothing too graphic. (OWO)

If anyone wants to be added to taglist please reply. As always these are only my headcanons so enjoy my take on that tinder au anon asked @somewillwin about. Your brain anon omg.

Taglist: @somewillwin @belvoiresqueenbee @origmansello @clownery-is-a-new-personality @kamilahtrash @poppysminion @poppysimp @captain-hanadeleine @poppysmc @iiizdumb @uselesslesbianfr @scattered-to-the-winds @idiot-justidiot @toyhenoctus

First of all this discussion happens one night where Poppy, Chloe and Veronica get their asses drunk at a frat party. Believe or not the top 3 girls of Belvoire actually care about each other, they just have a really weird way of showing it.

A heart to heart talk starts and the three of them start to confess things that they would never talk about when sober. Cue Poppy saying "I've never experienced an orgasm in my whole life."

Chloe and Veronica just look at Poppy shocked and their jaws drop. Veronica just looks at Poppy with a weird look of pity, whilst Chloe just stares.

After realising what she said Poppy quickly sobers up and clams her mouth shut. "What do you mean you've never had an orgasm before?!" Veronica all but yells. "Gee V, couldn't you have said that any louder, I don't think the whole school heard you." Poppy replies sarcastically.

Veronica just rolls her eyes and says "Girl, you're not getting out of this convo that easily. Now spill the tea sis." Chloe and Veronica look at Poppy expectantly, waiting for her to elaborate. Poppy just sighs and looks away cheeks flushed, as if embarrassed.

The two don't stop pestering her, so Poppy has no choice but to raise her hands in mock surrender. "Fine, I'll tell you" she says as her eyes narrow dangerously. "But if you tell anyone about this, I will actually erase the both of you from planet earth."

Poppy begins to explain that none of her exes made her feel good, and that whenever she had sex with any of them she always had to fake it, so much so that she's started to find sex boring.

Veronica and Chloe share a look and nod at each other. The both of them say "We're gonna set up a tinder account for you to find a good lay (basically the british version of saying good fuck), because that's just pretty fucking sad. Why didn't you tell us sooner, like bruhhh??."

Poppy just looks away and says "Its not like I can just go up to you guys and say 'I've never orgasmed before'". The two just nod their head in understanding before taking Poppy's phone and installing tinder.

They spend some time taking and choosing the best photos for Poppy to use on her tinder profile. (If anyone has seen Euphoria, you know that scene where Rue helps Jules take nudes, it's like that but PG-13) Considering that the three of them were pretty drunk, it was surprising to see how well it turned out.

Feeling sleepy, both Veronica and Chloe retreat back to their room, and Poppy just feels so tired that she falls asleep as soon as the other girls leave.

Waking up the next morning Poppy wakes up to the sound of her phone beeping numerous times and annoyed by the constant ping, she picks it up to see that almost all the notifications were from tinder.

Poppy is confused because wtf? When did she download tinder??? And then it hits her like a truck, 'Oh shit, we were all drunk as fuck last night, I thought that was some bizarre lucid dream but I actually have a tinder account. Fuck.' - she thinks to herself, embarrassed that Veronica and Chloe know her secret.

She sees a few messages from the group chat. Veronica sent her a message. "Poppy, istg if you delete tinder after all the time we spent making your profile look cute, I will post the ugliest picture I have of you on my insta." it reads. What surprised her is that Chloe actually backs Veronica up by saying "Yeah Poppy, it took our three collective brain cells to curate that account so you better use it."

Poppy giggles a little amused by her friends' reaction and she messages them back by saying "Fine, but if it doesn't work out you guys have to pay for my next shopping spree." Chloe and Veronica just agrees albeit unwillingly, but they know not to argue back.

Poppy decides to check the messages and matches that she got on tinder, disappointed but not surprised, most messages say "Send nudes" or a nude pic is attached to their messages. Poppy just rolls her eyes as she immediately unmatches them.

You were looking on tinder for your latest hook-up with no strings attached because ewww commitment and no one really caught your eye, except Poppy. Imagine your surprise when you find Poppy's profile on tinder, deciding that it was a troll account you decide to message them saying "Wow, of all the people you could choose to pretend to be, you choose the HBIC of Belvoire. Stop trying to catfish people, that's just shitty."

Poppy shocked at the sudden message that she gets from you scoffs and replies back "I'm not pretending to be anyone, Farmsville, in case you didn't know even I'm allowed to use tinder."

You just roll your eyes and text back "If you really are Poppy Min-Sinclair, prove it. I might hate Poppy's guts but trying to ruin her reputation by doing shit like this isn't funny."

This catches Poppy's attention, and suddenly she's curious. 'Why would she even stand up for me?' she can't help but wonder.

Poppy screenshots your conversation and sends it to Chloe and Veronica who have vastly different reactions. Veronica's response compiles of this emoji 👀, and the words "Farmsville likes girls, we been knew." and Chloe's response is more of a "WTF, I thought she was dating that Zoey girl."

The girls tell her that it would be fun to mess with you, and they tell her that she should prove that the profile is hers. Veronica also messages her privately saying "girl, her bio legit says 'not looking for commitment' this is like your chance to sleep with her and if you don't, I will." Poppy just grunts in annoyance and decides that fine, she supposed that you were attractive enough for a hook-up.

When you don't get a reply within the next ten minutes you scoff and roll your eyes. 'Damn, people really stoop so low huh.' - you think to yourself. There's a slight disappointment that crosses your mind once the account stopped replying to your messages. You were kind of hoping that it was the real Poppy after all.

Against her better judgement (gay denial right here folks, you're the first to see it), she decides to take a selfie and sends it to you.

Right as you're about to unmatch to what most likely seems to be a fake account, you're surprised to see a message from Poppy's supposed account. It was a selfie of Poppy, where instead of her usual pink fur coat, she's wearing something casual, and to be fair it's a really nice mirror selfie. (This is what I imagine) (I still stand by my headcanon of Poppy looking like Chungha but I couldn't find a good photo lolol)

Doubting that it's really Poppy, you decide to check your socials to see if she's uploaded any new images, and so far you haven't found anything. However you're nothing if not stubborn. You ask if she could prove that she's real and not some weirdo.

Poppy just rolls her eyes annoyed that she's being questioned, as a last ditch effort to gain your trust she sends another selfie, which is a bit more revealing than the last and once you see it your brain stops functioning.

Regaining your composure, you message her saying "I thought you had a boyfriend? What the fuck?" The only response you get is a reaction gif of some girl rolling their eyes. Being the little shit you are you decide to annoy her by sending selfies back, each photo more provocative than the last.

Poppy amused by the photos decides to get you back and it becomes a game of one-upping each other to see who takes better thirst traps. This continues on for an entire week (It's such a stupid competion and both of you know but you're both competitive af so yeah.) until Poppy snaps and contacts you using her actual phone number instead of the app.

Poppy's already frustrated and she's annoyed because she can't stop thinking about you and your stupidly hot, gorgeous body - oh my god I'm going insane she thinks to herself. She decides enough is enough and messages you. "FUCK YOU FARMSVILLE! BACK DOWN ALREADY!"

You wouldn't be yourself if you didn't have a sassy comeback ready so you reply with "FUCK ME YOURSELF YOU COWARD!" sending her yet another thirst trap, this one more revealing than the others.

Poppy snaps when she sees the message and she's quick to make a reservation to her favourite hotel in NYC, because as if she'd be seen taking you to her room. She gets the biggest room because she's extra like that and she knows she deserves the best.

The only response you get is a pinned location on the map, aptly captioned, "Meet me here Farmsville and I'll make you eat your words."

Still feeling feisty you reply with "Is that a threat or is that a promise? 😘😜" and Poppy just tells you to hurry up.

This is a really stupid idea - you think to yourself. You can't help but be suspicious of Poppy wanting to meet up, after all she can use this information against you. However none of that matters to your lust riddled brain, considering the last hook-up you've had was with Professor Kingsley and that was quite some time ago and you're really horny for some action.

You quickly dress in your best underwear, and choose something fashionable yet casual to wear because let's face it even if you hate Poppy, you don't want to look like a loser if you're gonna hook up.

Once you get there, you quickly make your way to the designated room that Poppy told you to go to. Knocking on the door, you're lowkey expecting Belvoire students to berate you, but once the door opens all you can see is Poppy.

Poppy is dressed in nothing but her underwear as she pulls you into the room. Feeling a bit awkward, you decide to break the ice by saying "I lowkey expected this to be some weird plan where you embarass me in front of your clique."

Poppy just looks at you and she scoffs as she says "As much as I hate you Farmsville, even I wouldn't stoop that low. Plus it's a crime to share nudes without a person's permission." You just look at her in disbelief jaw dropping as you take all of her in. I mean if you thought she looked good in the photos, then damn seeing it in real life was a different experience entirely

She notices that you're staring and she just flashes you a smirk and says "See something you like?" and all you want to do is wipe the smirk off her perfect face.

Stepping closer to Poppy, you make the first move and kiss her roughly, each kiss longer than the last and you can feel your heart pound as your nervousness dissipates and all you can focus on is the smell of Poppy's perfume and how it drives you wild. As well as how soft her skin feels against your hands and it's enough to drive you over the edge.

Poppy pulls away and you follow after her, annoyed by the fact that the kisses stopped. You can hear her pant as she struggles to breathe.

As soon as Poppy catches her breath, she says "I'm starting to feel under dressed so let's fix that shall we?" She pulls you towards the bed and she strips your clothing off, and you can't help but stare because holy shit this is actually happening. You start to wonder if you're dreaming until you feel Poppy kiss you again, this time slower and softer and you can't help the wistful sigh that escapes your lips.

You decide to take the lead until you hear Poppy say something. "Wait a minute Farmsville." You stop and listen because no matter how sexually frustrated you might be at the moment, consent is always important.

You wait patiently for her to start talking and she says "Don't make fun of me, but I've never known what an orgasm feels like." You can tell that she's flustered by the way she looks away and refuses to make eye contact.

Your eyes soften up and you kiss her gently on the neck and whisper "I guess that's something we can improve after tonight, but if you feel uncomfortable at any moment in time just tell me to stop." Surprised that you even cared about how she felt Poppy just nods her head softly at you.

"I'm gonna start touching you, okay Poppy?" you say your voice gentle, as you hope that it soothes her nerves. "Just relax and let me do the work, alright, I promise I won't hurt you." Poppy just shoots you a shy smile and your heart pounds because fuck that's the cutest fucking thing you've ever seen.

Kissing your way to her inner thighs, you can hear and feel her squirm against your touch. In order to keep her still, you place her hands on your hair and assure her that it's okay if she tugs on it. You place your hands on her hips to keep her steady as you tease and suck on her clit.

Poppy's small moans of contentment makes you want to do more, so you try extra hard because you want to hear more. You can feel Poppy's body begin to shudder and you can tell that she's close and spurred on by that you insert your fingers into her core and thrust until you can hear scream in pleasure.

You can't help but stare as her body starts to spasm and you let her grind so that she can climax again and it's the most erotic moment of your life.

Poppy feels her whole vision turn white for a moment and she feels euphoric once she realises that she came.

As soon as she regains her bearings, she turns to you, who looks very satisfied, and omg did she just see you lick her juices off your finger. That sends a wave of arousal straight to her core and she looks away embarrassed from being turned on again just a few seconds after coming.

You put your hand on her chin and turn her face towards you forcing her to make eye contact. "It's not over yet, Princess. I'm pretty sure that we can wriggle more of those out of you and the night is young." you say your voice dropping an octave.

By the time that you've finished, Poppy's mind has gone blank and she feels so tired that she doesn't think she can move. She's got to give you props though, because goddamn that was the first time she actually enjoyed sex and she actually got to cum too.

Noticing that Poppy's too tired to move, you decide to lift her up in a princess carry and surprised by your sudden action Poppy's about to protest until you just tell her to be quiet.

Placing Poppy in the bath tub, you turn on the faucet and makes sure that the water isn't too hot or cold as it fills up. After the bath has been filled you slip into the bathtub behind Poppy as you help her clean up.

'Okay now she's just being unfair, why is she being so nice.' Poppy thinks to herself. Trying to make conversation Poppy says "Why are you taking care of me, I half expected you to leave after we fucked." You rest you chin on her shoulder and say "I didn't want you to catch a cold, and besides what kind of a person would I be if I just left you on your own? I like to think of myself as a gentlewoman." You start to place soft kisses on her shoulders and Poppy just sighs wistfully, feeling at peace as she leans back against you. "Don't tell anyone but this was actually the most fun I've had. Hell I don't think any of my exes would have compared against you." Poppy says shyly.

You can't help the smile that creeps it's way to your face. "You can't say shit like that Poppy, I'm pretty sure you're gonna give me a heart attack if you act this soft." you say teasing lilt in your voice and you can hear Poppy giggle. It sounds so soft and you realise that it's a sound that you want to hear.

Your relationship as enemies with benefits start and the both of you can't really keep your hands off each other, God forbid if you're in the same room.

Intense stares from across the room that everyone assumes to be glares, but little do they know that it's your own way of communicating.

One day Poppy calls you up and tells you that you're going shopping, but in reality it was just an excuse to spend more time with you. On the way to the mall, you guys get frisky in the car and before you can stop yourself you say "Babe" and you can't help but think that you've fucked up.

Poppy doesn't say anything but she likes the new pet name and can't wait to hear you say it again.

You guys go to a high end designer store and one of the staff approaches you and says "You guys look good together." While you're quick to deny it, Poppy just thanks them, but as she hears you deny it her eyes widen and you can see her heart break in front of your eyes. Poppy runs off and you're confused.

The employee looks at you and says "I probably shouldn't say anything else today but you should go after her. It's obvious that you both like each other."

Searching the mall, you're relieved once you see Poppy sitting down on a bench, and you approach her carefully. You see that her eyes are red and you feel shitty because you're the reason why she's crying.

Poppy notices you and she's about to run off again until you catch her wrist in your hand. "Poppy please look at me." you plead and she doesn't budge as she tries to get away from your grip.

Seeing that she can't outrun you considering you're holding onto her she just sighs and looks at you. Her face is covered in tears and you use your other hand to wipe them away.

"You know after you called me babe in the car, I was so happy because I thought that it meant that we were dating, but I guess I was just another girl for you to fuck." Poppy says and your heart breaks.

"I thought that you didn't like me that way, so I quickly denied that we were dating. I do like you Poppy, but you never made it clear that we were in a relationship. Though to be fair I should have tried to clear things up too. I guess we're both idiots huh?" You say as you hold her face between your hands.

Leaning in you capture Poppy's lips and she eagerly kisses you back, happy to resolve the misunderstanding.

Unbeknownst to the both of you a Belvoire student caught everything on camera and by the next day everyone on campus knows that you guys are dating.

No one dares to say anything because uhhh POWER COUPLE and they're highly scared of Poppy killing them lol.

Long story short Poppy sees your tinder account and you compete for better thirst traps and well you start fucking and it ends up with you two dating.

Well that was long, hope you guys enjoy, don't forget to like or reblog if you like it.

[the-littlefangirl]

TFATWS episode 1 rewatch commentary

The first scene was so beautiful. I loved that we didn't start directly with the fight sequence. It feels way closer to the quiet beginning of CATWS and I love it so much.

The title is also SO NEAT, music's on point too but hey it’s Henry Jackman the one thing I’m sure it’s going to be great overall is the score.

The choreography is AMAZING, really well shot. Sam shielding himself with only one wing was MA-JES-TIC.

“WHAT'S UP” EXACTLY SAM EXACTLY

I did feel so uncomfortable in regards to the military aspect of it. Not that I was expecting anything else, but both here and in Captain Marvel the military we're good guys < 3 propaganda is so blatant and ugh:/ At least there wasn’t a literal recruitment spot like with CM. 

The yellow filter in the Tunisia scene BYE please stop with the yellow filters 2k21

"I've been working with the Air Force for six months now" So, did Sam even catch a break at all after Endgame? Or did he just throw himself to work like SOMEONE did after being iced for 70 years. Hmmm? Sam????

"Essentially, these people, they want a world that's unified without borders" OH NO! HOW AWFUL, how evil of these bad guys smh

Joaquin: SO about Steve

Sam: :)))))) nope

"Moon stuff" SAAAM

#1 cry with Sam's speech, full on chills.. Fuck. Me. His voice about to break before saying thank you bYE.

Shady politician: "It was the right decision" (FUCKKKKK YOUUU)

Rhodey: *press any key to doubt *

I need someone to analyze the different curation of the two exhibits pretty please

NOT THE PHOTO POST-AZZANO JFC. That photo is my weakness, Bucky sweetie (also I find hilarious that usually when there are articles about Stucky and/or #givecaptainamericaaboyfriend they aaaalways use that photo LMAO)

In case someone wants to read the transcription of the texts about Bucky: "In 1944, while on a mission to thwart a Hydra weapon transport in the Alps, Barnes was thrown from a train and believed to have been killed in action. It wasn't until 2014, over seventy years later, that it was revealed that Barnes was alive, having been found by Hydra operatives. Captain America himself (i can't read) the effort to bring Barnes in only to later aid in a escape from custody having been convinced of his innocence. Steve's loyalty to his old friend, coupled with his refusal to sign the Sokovia Accords, led to the dissolution of the Avengers and drove the Captain into hiding with other like-minded Avengers including Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, and Sam Wilson. The current whereabouts of Barnes remains unknown, habing been labeled a fugitive following his escape from custody."

"current wherabout unknown" but not the government, interesting. Also, pretty good summary of CACW from the public's perspective, although one of the things I always wanted to see explored was the public's reaction of the fallout of them going into hiding after Civil War (which I'm hoping we'll get to see a little bit of in Black Widow).

Interesting point about the 70 years without having Captain America. Clearly the sacrifice play wasn't enough this time to fuel the nationalism so they went with a squeaky clean John Walker instead.

Sam saying the shield belongs to Steve I'm going to cry now excuse me. Sam. Sam sweetie.

The No. 1 Captain America comic in the display ugH fuck yes

See this is how you do a cameo that has actual meaning. Thank god for Malcolm Spellman being a competent writer. That scene was so well written.

HAVE YOU PRAISED ANTHONY MACKIE'S PERFORMANCE TODAY?? Holy shit that last shot fucked me up.

I'm loving the use of the wide shots, especially in the flashback. The camera movements are in synch with The Soldier's state of mind and mission focus, so good.

EVERYONE STAND UP FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM aka The Winter Soldier theme composed by Henry Jackman.

Without a doubt the most brutal TWS fight scene there has been, People involved in Punisher and John Wick are involved in this and it SHOWS. 

For the record, still stands that the only time we've seen him chocking someone with his right hand instead of the metal arm remains the Maria Stark assasination. I know it's probably because of blocking and the way the shot was composed but the implications are still bone chilling. God.

Uhhmmmm I'm very ambivalent about the "Hail Hydra". On one hand, it was 100% fanservice and the internet is probably going to go insane over it, and the dead way Sebastian Stan delivered the line. Good shit. Buuut what I love about CATWS is the way Bucky never, ever ever, mouths Hydra rethoric, and even when Pierce tries to gaslight him with it, it's just an empty effort. The Winter Soldier isn't doing anything because of ideological loyalty to Hydra, even if it's product of brainwashing, it's just sheer dehumanization. They don’t need him to say the words because he’s just An Asset. There are people who have put it more eloquently but yeah, I rather go with the fanon interpretation of that aspect.

The music growing louder with the shot of the keys. GOD.

I'm fine this is fine.

#2 cry with the therapy scene of fucking course.

The government monitoring Bucky is noooot going to end well lmao.

"We need to know that you're not gonna * slowmo stabbing motions *

Bucky: * nodding along slowly * 

I laughed out loud.

"It's passive agressive" I love him.

The way this scene just sucker punched me in the face, made me weep and then had me cracking up. Amazing.

Therapist: You can't do anything illegal

Bucky: yup yup check checkity check. What IS considered illegal tho?

*aggresive tablet finger pressing *

"Then why isn't it rule number one?" Bucky your Steve is showing.

I love the close up shot. I'll keep saying it. It's so good.

"I'm James Bucky Barnes" yeah you are🥺

That smile is nightmare fuel LMFAO I love it.

Uhm the way I'm kinning Bucky it's not funny anymore damn

That whole “are you lashing out at me” rambling is really reminiscent of the bar scene in CATFA and how he lashed out at Steve after Peggy left. Uhm yeah fuck.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" "Peace"

"That is UTTER BULLSHIT" "You're a terrible shrink"

yeah ugly crying to ugly laughing speedrun for me

"You're free" "To do what?" jesus. That entire scene. #3 and #4 and #5 cries for moi.

Ugh that Brooklyn shot. Someone needs to do a gifset compairing it to the one in CATFA asap.

"It's like Monique but it's got a "U" in there for uniqueness" "That's absurd" LMAO

"You can't keep fighting with your neighbors" uHM * redacted redacted i'm shifting into 1940s mode abort abort *

"Nobody passed 90" "So young. Such a shame" FGADHGA

🥺🥺 yes flex those flirting skills good for you

"It's a dance to this things. You can't… you gotta warm up and I haven't danced since 1943. Feels like." #6 cry I completely broke down into tears with that.

This Yori storyline is going to punch me in the face with a metal fist. Great!

The TWS theme when he looks at Yori fuuuuuck.

GREAT LET'S GO TO LOUISIANA THAT WAS GETTING HEAVY.

Those shots of Sam in the car. Immaculate. Showstoping. Yes.

Marvel, what if instead of promoting the military industrial complex you put a lot of publicity about cars?

"Uncle Sam!" LMAO subtle.

Everyone trying to have the wings lmao same.

I've only had Sarah for a day but etc. Brooklyn 99 meme

Good mirroring about Steve and Sam family's legacy. Good shit. Goooood shit.

Sam is trying so hard ouch my heart. I can't imagine how painful the scene with them reuniting must have been. He 100% still feels a lot of guilt about being gone for those 5 years (and even longer before that).

"Maybe it is time for us to move on" uuuuuuuuuuh

"To the rescue" "Always" 🥺🥺 i love them so much already

That shot outside the restaurant is so beautiful. Can't wait to see the night scenes in Madripoor tbh.

"I tried the whole online dating thing. It's pretty crazy". Uhm well that is something that Bucky Barnes has now said. In canon. Damn.

"It's a lot" "You sound like my dad" LMAO

Every Bucky fanfic trope speedrun with this scene

"Wow you really can drink" OH you have no idea

Just realized we don't even know her name, well.

"You have any siblings?" "I have a sister" THE WAY I SCREECHED. We're definitely getting Becca

Well that escalated quickly. The important thing is to try?

I can't deal with this BUCKY SWEETIE #8 cry right there fuck

The wardrobe department is KILLING IT, there's such a difference between the outfits of the shows vs how ugly and generic it usually is.

"ThEre is NO such thiNg as on time. You're either EARLY or LATE . picK One" lmao the way he delivered that line

At first I thought the flag smashers had thrown two cars out of a window LMAO

"I don't know how jurisdiction works here, but I'mma have to place you under arrest" uhm yikes. The way they changed Joaquín Torres backstory to just random army nice guy #1 is not sitting well with me, what can I say.

Sam's wings motions I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR

Fuuuuck this guy.

"Funny how thing's always thighten around us" "Look, I'm on your side. After all, he's a hero". This script is C R I S P as hell, great fucking job.

"I don't care, I'm not gonna quit" "What are you trying to prove? And who you trying to prove it to" SHIT HSIT SHIT!!! UGH amazing. Look it's not necessary to say the show's questions out loud but how they flow between the conversations is still very satisfactory without feeling in your face about it. Inner conflicts have been set up fucking perfectly everyone * claps *

Ugh here we fucking go.  I knew this was how the episode was going to end but my stomach still dropped like a rollercoster. God.

The score is on point. Damn. Damn.

God, Sam.🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

The captain america franchise's visuals in the credits are always so amazing.

Also, does anybody know why Mackie isn't first in the billing?  Uhm what's that about?

ANYWAY CONCLUSION THAT EPISODE WAS SO FUCKING GOOD LIKE HOLY SHIT. I love them so much. The balance between the personal conflicts and the political aspect (although the military aspect is still very much yikes) was on point and it was overall a joy to watch.

[orbitariums]

𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝟑)

part two

hope everyone is doing so lovely! i’m so excited to post this third chapter and i’m glad we’re on this journey together <3 thank u for reading!!! this chapter is supa long, please get a snack honey lol.

taglist is closed!

playlist

word count: 9.4k

warnings: age gap, sex work, dirty talk, straight filth, smut, squirting, toys, (virtual?) domination, cute dialogue!!!

𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞: 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬

    Steve was flooded with morning meetings that whole day. Still you existed somewhere in the back of his mind, while he was filing through briefings and reports. He tried not to let the thought of you creep up, something he was unknowingly resisting because he didn't want what the two of you had to be bigger than it was.

But he was also trying to focus. He knew already, like muscle memory, that it would be impossible for this to become anything serious, anything beyond your work as a cam girl. You might have a connection, but you were just doing your job, and he was just satisfying himself. Right?

   And you knew too that this couldn't become anything serious. And it wouldn't, you had convinced himself. So he came out of the blue, so he surprised you. But he was still a customer. And while you had connections with your customers, it never went beyond the workplace. Though he still resided in the back of your mind.

   It wasn't until Steve was on break and heading down to the kitchen to make himself some food that he decided to fully address the events that had happened last night. When you asked to see him, he was almost scared at first-he felt that things could shift permanently because you had asked him that. But ignorance is bliss, so he'd brushed off the thought of that happening, and convinced himself it wasn't a big deal.

   But it had to mean something right? He could see himself going down a winding tunnel of you wanting to see him more and more, and the end would be catastrophe- that is, if he showed himself. But he knew he had more sense than that, could end things if necessary. It wasn't that serious, not yet.

And while he was nervous, he still thought of you with fondness, thinking of your youthful glow and how it seemed like you were drawn together in perfect timing, how much he liked talking to you and respected you. It wasn't all bad.

   The thought was enough to talk to somebody about it, except it wouldn't be Tony this time. Steve knew Tony's response would be straight forward - not to talk to her, and to find another cam girl. And he'd ask why Steve was accepting requests to talk with her about unrelated matters in the first place. And maybe the fact that Steve didn't want to hear that, didn't want things to be so straightforward and disciplinarian, should've been a warning. But he didn't listen. Instead, he went to go talk to Bucky about it.

    "Shoot," Bucky said after Steve told him he had something to tell him. Bucky stuffed practically an entire piece of toast in his mouth, his hand on his hip as he sat on the edge of one of the kitchen tables. With a full mouth he continued."'S it important?"

    Steve shrugged, holding a cup of coffee just below his beard, feeling it steam up his face. He took a big sip.

   "I dunno. I'm trying to decide that myself."

Bucky raised an eyebrow,

    "Well..."

Steve sighed, setting his coffee down and leaning against the counter beside Bucky so they could talk.

   "I met this girl. Well, met is a strong word," Steve cocked his head to the side, after considering the quirks of his situation. He then started to wonder if Bucky would even know how to help him with this situation, it was so oddly specific. He continued anyway, under the intense, questioning gaze of Bucky. "I... found this girl online. On a cam site."

   Bucky nearly choked on his toast, his eyebrows raised as far as they'd go,

   "You? On a cam site? You? You're on a cam site?"

The more Bucky repeated it, the more surprised he seemed to become, and Steve could only watch with amusement at his close friend's bewildered expressions.

   "You say it like I'm one of the cam girls," Steve joked, shaking his head, but Bucky only stared at him, incredulous.

   But then he came back down to earth with a slightly impressed shrug,

   "Well. I gotta admit, I never expected this from you, and you're my best man. But I guessed there had to be a reason you've been so much better these past few days, and there had to be some reason you weren't bringing it up. You know you can tell me anything, right?"

    Steve grinned,

   "It's not that I was keeping it from you necessarily. I just didn't think I should put it out there, even if it's just between the two of us."

Bucky smirked,

    "Captain America has a dirty little secret. I respect it."

Steve didn't say anything, but that was slightly true. Half of him wanted to keep things under wraps, the other half of him wanted it to be his own little secret, something that was only for him. You could say he wanted you all to himself, which wasn't untrue - during your public show, though he enjoyed it, it felt less personal and thus made him rethink his actions.

He wanted it one on one, wanted to know he was partially responsible to bringing you to that point, and that you brought each other to that point together, just the two of you. So, in some ways, it was his "dirty little secret."

   "The girl I watch, she's amazing. I mean, we had a real connection, since our first private session-"

    "Private session? Maybe I did teach you well all these years," Bucky nodded.

    "Actually, this was all Tony. Anyway, I've been watching her, and yesterday, after her show, she requested to talk to me. Not the other way around. She wasn't even doing private shows that day. Anyway, I accepted, and maybe that wasn't the right thing to do, but it didn't feel... wrong. I talked to her, and she said... she said she wanted to see me. As in through the camera."

   Bucky took a few moments to absorb and contemplate, and nodded slowly,

   "And you're wondering if that's as serious as your mind wants it to be."

   "Basically. I mean, I don't feel like this is something I have to avoid or be careful with. We're not declaring our love for each other. I'm just another customer. That's what I want to believe, at least."

   "I mean, you're always gonna be taking that risk. You're talking to someone who's as good as a stranger. And your 'connection', it's exactly what it sounds like. You're another customer, but you've just taken a liking to each other. As far as I'm concerned, that's okay. And as for her asking you to show yourself... it's tricky. I mean, I've been on my fair share of sites like that, but I'm not well versed in it. I don't want to say it's not serious just for it to end up being serious. You know how these things go," Bucky smiled softly, and Steve nodded, though his eyes seemed a bit troubled as he looked down at the floor.

    "Right..." he trailed off, folding his arms.

Maybe he just needed to hear that he shouldn't talk to you anymore, to ease his concerns. Maybe Bucky was right. It has the potential to be serious, but it might not be. He didn't know what to think.

    "I don't know bud, but the fact that you're asking me tells me it's been on your mind. And I know you, you don't let things stay on your mind long unless they're important. Could be that this is important to you," Bucky offered, but Steve waved his hand dismissively, a little too fast.

   "It's - it's not..."

    Bucky raised his brows,

   "You think about her?"

   "Sure," Steve shifted, folding his arms slightly. "But not more than my work or anything. I don't view her as a priority, Buck. It's normal that she'd be on my mind, I mean, this is all new to me. I'm stressing for no reason, aren't I?"

He decided he was stressing for no reason. He wasn't obsessed with you, wasn't head over heels for you. He wasn't placing you over his work. It was just the shock of the new situation, the unexpected, big bang of an introduction of you into his life -- that's what he convinced himself, to put his mind at ease.

Bucky raised his hands up,

     "Hey, I'm not assuming anything. And honestly Steve, if you are... thinking about her. I think that's good. As long as it's something healthy, I don't think you have anything to be worried about. You deserve some type of distraction, and maybe that's what she is. You don't have to worry about things getting too serious, trust me. You've got a little time on your hands, that's all."

Steve took Bucky's words to heart, absorbing them so they could soak up all his previous thoughts -- which would be squeezed out in a matter of time as the reality of your relationship revealed itself. He deserved a little distraction, though he valued you on a more humane level.

    He didn't have to worry himself about the potential it could have to become something serious and something dangerous. He was smart enough, had a strong head on his shoulders. He just had a little free time. That was all.

✺ ✺ ✺

   "I told him 'I wish I could see you through your camera'," you groaned, sprawled out on your bed, just hours before your next show that Friday. "Was that stupid?"

You pouted, your lips glossy and full, shoving chips into your mouth as you bitched and moaned into the phone. You were talking to one of the girls you'd met on girlsonfilm, named Jane, who went by Scream Queen. Her specialty was being an alt dominatrix girl, who attracted lots of submissive men. You admired her work, and you were close friends. She laughed on the other end,

    "Hon, it's not stupid. I wouldn't ask or tell a customer that, though. You've been doing this for some time too, but you're still learning."

You frowned, fiddling with your gold rose shaped necklace,

    "I know. I don't wanna scare him off."

    "Please, you won't. I guarantee he'll be on your show again tonight. Men don't scare from a beautiful woman like you, not easily."

You cooed, smiling to yourself,

   "Aw... bitch if you lived in Cali you would so feature on my show, I literally love you."

   "I love you!" she exclaimed. "We'd make hella money just by being in each other's presence on camera, it'd be crazy. I gotta fly out to Cali."

   "Right?" you chuckled.

   You felt a little more at ease now. You hadn't been thinking as much about Steve as he had been thinking about you, but that didn't mean he wasn't on your mind. He was a special customer to you, even though you'd only just gotten to know him. You just liked him in what felt like a more unique way. And ever since you'd brought up seeing him on his camera, you had some regrets. You felt like it made you seem needy, bringing up old habits.

   In your last romantic relationship, you were always wanting something, things that you shouldn't have had to ask for. But ever since you got out of that relationship, you had decided to be more self sufficient. That was part of the reason why you were financially independent and constantly did so much work. You no longer depended on others for certain things, not like you had before.

    But in addition to reminding you of old habits, you felt awkward about the whole situation because you didn't want him to feel pressured or uncomfortable either. You didn't want it to feel like you wanted something more because you'd asked to see him. As far as you were concerned, the two of you, especially yourself, were far from wanting something more. For your own safety. You might have really liked him, but at the end of the day, he was a customer and that was that.

   "Well," you flopped onto your stomach. "I feel better now, so thanks. I'm doing a couple private shows after my giveaway, maybe I'll see him again. Or... hear him, rather."

    "If he does end up showing himself, keep me posted. I wanna know if he's as sexy as he sounds."

   "Oh trust me, I will. Honestly, if he keeps watching my shows, I wanna teach him how to dirty talk. I think then it'll be something serious," you joked, shaking your head. "Alright, well I gotta get ready. Bye bitch!"

   "Bye biiitch, have fun tonight, I'll be tuning in."

  You blew her a kiss and hung up, your spirits lifted after your brief conversation. You started getting ready for your next show, hoping that Steve would continue to tune in. Unbeknownst to you, he was anticipating your show tonight as well, though a small part of him was hesitant - should he continue to watch regularly? He'd let himself indulge. One more night couldn't be an issue.

   When you came on, you were excited to see that the amount of viewers had increased. You figured that since you were advertising a giveaway of your underwear, more people would feel inclined to join, take their chances. You smiled when Steve joined and waved,

   "Hey, Steve! How's it going?"

Steve — GrantRoberts Good. How are you?

    "I'm good, thanks for asking. Alright, hi everyone, thank you so much for joining! I see we've got some new viewers tonight, so nice to meet you. I'm sure you all know that today is a very special day, because I'll be giving away —" you stood up so the camera could see below your waist, showing that you were wearing a pair of purple lace panties, the pair you had been boasting about the week before. "These!" you chimed.

     Steve raised his brows at the cheeky way you operated, looking over the pair. They were cute, looked expensive. The butterfly design on the underwear was detailed and there were white gems on either side at the top. You had said last week that these were a favorite among your viewers, he understood why.

     You explained the rules of the giveaway and how it would be working, and explained that there was a link pinned in the chat box to sign up for entries. Once you posted that link, tokens and sign up notifications came flooding through. You watched with a full smile, before slowly getting to the show.

   Steve decided he wouldn't be entering the giveaway, to keep his own discretion, and because although he definitely saw the appeal, he wasn't big on keeping someone else's underwear unless he knew them in real life.

    You started by rubbing yourself through your panties, making a big deal of how wet you were, how you were soaking through the panties and wouldn't be washing them. That was how you knew you'd get people to pay up and enter your giveaway. Steve watched in amazement at the way you moved, your delicate fingers gently running over your clit through the lace panties, slipping the panties to the side every once in a while to dip your fingers inside of yourself, proclaiming how tight you felt and how much you wanted more than just fingers inside of you to stretch you out.

     Needless to say, you put on a show, and you really were soaking through your panties by the time you were done. Steve lost track of how many times he came, and it was then that he realized that maybe he liked this side of you more than what he had seen before. It was teasing and tantalizing, almost theatrical, except you were really taking your time to please yourself.

And for some reason, it practically made him short circuit. The idea of him realizing that he had more sexual interests than he was aware of basically seduced him. And knowing that he was coming to these realizations because of you made him feel hungry and crazed.

     He liked how you were barely touching yourself, teasing yourself yet still dripping through your panties, making a show out of a little thing. He kept a slow pace to match your own, edging himself and feeling grunts get caught in his throat each time he stopped himself from coming.

    You were absolutely mystifying, drawing him in more and more in every way. Your soft moans, quieter and more needy than usual, were like music to his ears. He loved the way your legs shook when you had to hold off an orgasm for the purpose of the show, so that you could hold off and increase the value of your giveaway, lengthen the time you gained tips and coins. By the time you were done, he had cum on his chest, legs and a little on his bed sheets, which he cleaned up gingerly, watching as you signed off.

You slid out of your panties and held them up to the camera, practically purring when you finally spoke,

    "Look what I did to them. Soaked in all my juices and cum just for you. Well, for one lucky winner! Tip up to increase your chances."

You giggled, biting down on your lip, and continued,

     "Well, thank you for watching. Now, I do wanna do some private shows with a few of you. So, send in those requests and tokens and I'll pick a lucky few."

     As you waited for the requests to go in, you noticed Steve's name and his large donation — of course you'd go on private with him, but you wanted to talk to other customers as well. So you queued up a list of who you'd be talking to and placed Steve, the best, for last.

    Steve got a notification that you'd be talking to him, and while you signed off, he stayed on the site waiting for his turn. Each show you did was only about five minutes, and he had twenty five minutes to spare before he got the chance to talk to you. Those twenty five minutes he used for contemplation and thinking like always.

    If he wasn't spending his spare time with you, he was either thinking or distracting himself from thinking by spending time with his fellow Avengers. And now that there was nothing to do, all he could do was get lost in his thoughts. He thought of his conversation with Bucky - though he had come to the conclusion that he shouldn't worry so much and that he deserved a distraction, there was still some part of it that tugged at him.

The fact of the matter was that, he did think about you. A lot, actually, and it had only been a few days. He thought about the kind of unhinged pleasure you gave him that you had allowed him to tap into for the first time. He thought about the need you fulfilled. He thought about how he liked you, how he felt like he knew you on a personal level and that he sensed that you were truly a good person. He liked that about you, all those thoughts. But ever since last week, the thoughts slightly intimidated him at the same time.

Take a breath, Steve, he thought. Maybe it was old age making him nervous about everything. If Tony could do the same things before becoming Ironman and still live the way Tony was currently living, Steve could have his own little pleasures. His brain just kept doing the back and forth.

    You were happy when Steve's time came along. You were so caught up in your other customers that you had nearly forgotten what you were looking forward to. When it came to Steve, all your nerves were due to excitement, and the good kind. You weren't worried about the strength of your connection and if it would become overbearing, and you had reassured yourself that you weren't being needy or pressuring him. You felt at ease.

      You clicked his name feverishly, waving your hands up at the camera when the log opened. Yet again he wasn't showing himself, but you didn't let that bother you. You had all the time in the world to talk with him, because you didn't put a limit on the time. You didn't do so pointedly, you just did it so you wouldn't have to be preoccupied with the time limit.

     For you, talking to Steve at the end of your list was like de-stressing and winding down, nothing more and nothing less. You weren't viewing him as more than a customer. It wouldn't be inappropriate to talk for a while.

     "Hey, Steve!" you waved, grinning toothily.

Steve chuckled when he saw you and heard the genuine happiness in your voice. There was something sweetly innocent about you, despite the fact that your job was anything but innocent, and the fact that he had seen every part of you within the first day of getting to know you.

Still, he knew that didn't take away from the bright personality you seemed to have. Your duality as a focused businesswoman and giggly young college girl both impressed him and held a special place in his heart.

    "Hi, Moonrose. How are you?"

    "I'm lovely, and yourself?"

Steve let out a deep sigh he didn't know he'd been holding in. Talking to you relieved a lot of unconscious stress, and with that deep sigh he found a lot of relief,

    "I'm good. It's been a long day. Lots of labs, lots of meetings."

It wasn't entirely a lie - he did have lots of meetings that day, and you were in the back of his mind throughout all those meetings, but no labs. He wouldn't tell you he'd been thinking of you though, and you decided that you wouldn't tell him you'd been thinking of him either.

    "The life of a scientist," you joked playfully.

    You felt comfortable, even more comfortable with him than the last time, simply because it felt like you had both gotten past that awkward stage.

    "I mean, you can relate. Must be busy having all the jobs you have. I mean, you're a student, you're working on clothing, you work with a state rep, you're doing this every other day. That's gotta take a toll on you," Steve listed off everything you'd told him about.

     He kept that in mind, how busy and occupied you were, because you still carried yourself so well. Maybe it was just for the purpose of customer interaction; he wondered if you acted or felt the same outside of this private world of yours.

     You blushed slightly, flattered that Steve remembered everything you did and that he even held it in close regards to what he did on a daily basis. You knew you juggled a lot of things, but to hear someone else say it felt so much more validating, whether it came from your best friend Aaliyah or from Steve.

    "Aw, that's nice of you to say," you smiled warmly. "It can be a lot, honestly. Sometimes it feels like I'm doing too much, but... it's what I have to do! And for the most part, I like doing too much. It keeps me focused. Helps me cope with... life."

    You got a little sheepish. You didn't want to get too into the things you were really coping with.

    "I can appreciate that," Steve nodded. He raised his brows to himself as chose his words carefully. "My job can be... demanding."

   "Oh totally, I'm sure. Lots of math and shit. What gets you through it though?" you asked, and Steve chuckled slightly to himself at your vernacular - it reminded him how young you were.

Steve breathed out a heavy sigh, taking in the question thoughtfully. What the hell got him through it? He supposed it was knowing that he was doing good for the world, knowing that he had a team to work with and back him up at all times, and the fact that he was in control for the most part. But as for actual coping, he was almost at a loss. Almost.

    "Honestly?" he rubbed at his beard, and you bit down on your lip, giving him a flirty smile.

    "The cold hard truth," you ensured him, puckering your lips and putting on your best game face.

    "Honestly, talking to you, probably. I don't really know how to destress," Steve felt suddenly insecure about putting this detail out there.

He didn't want to make you uncomfortable (though you had heard worse from men who were wound up like Steve), and he felt like he was delving into a personal topic. Not that you didn't already know that he was stressed out, but he didn't want it to seem like you were his saving grace. Though, you weren't far from it.

    He continued,

    "I just mean... ever since that first time with you I've been feeling lighter on my feet. I mean— I don't really... I just don't have a lot of coping mechanisms. I don't really get to have fun."

    Once he spit the words out, he felt even more stupid. He had just let you know that you had basically changed his entire mood since the day he'd met you, and something like that felt almost like a confession. Like you were delving into more serious topics. He had made his problems clear since the first time, but telling you how much you helped him felt like he was putting deeper trust in you.

    But of course you didn't see it as a deep confession. You saw it as him being true to his feelings and being honest with you, which wasn't a big deal to you since you were in a business that involved making connections and basically building men like him up. You grinned, a sparkle in your eyes as you listened to him stammer over himself. It was no wonder he was a scientist, he had this sort of nerdy charm to him.

    "I'm glad to hear that Steve. And maybe it's less that you don't get to have fun and more that you don't know how."

Steve shrugged. He had always been called boring by Tony, and Natasha took jabs at him about loosening up, getting out there and enjoying this modern world. And while he had insecurities around the fact, he still wasn't a happy go lucky party person as a result of the jabs. He was same old Steve, with the same old struggles. He looked regular on the outside (as regular as someone as big as him could look), but he felt like an outsider.

    "Maybe."

    "Have you ever tried?" you prodded. "I mean, outside of this. And honestly, kudos to you for putting yourself out there like this. I mean, you literally jerked off with me your first time here. I take it back. You do know how to have fun. You just... don't know where to find it."

Steve's face got hot. Even as he watched you more, talked to you more, nothing could compare to the first time being with you. It was definitely out of his comfort zone, doing something as extraneous as he had, and with a stranger. And when you described it like that, it seemed so much more inappropriate, but in a way that made Steve's pants bulge. And the fact that you could talk about it so casually intimidated him in the best way.

    "I guess you're right," Steve replied, and the more he thought about it, the more he realized you were actually spot on. "I'll keep that in mind."

He grinned, and you giggled,

    "Good. I'll be your therapist. But like a sexy one. A sex therapist."

You and Steve laughed at your stupid joke and Steve raised the question,

    "Okay. What gets you through it all? You're a young college girl, I'm sure you know how to have fun."

You raised your brows playfully at the suggestive nature of the question, although clueless Steve had no clue it would sound a certain way to you,

    "Oh yeah, totally. College girls, you know us. Drinking, partying, having sex with all our friends. I'm kind of a total slut." A beat passed, Steve trying to figure out what to say — like he was rerouting. You chortled, unable to hide your snort laugh. "I'm kidding, Steve."

Steve laughed hesitantly. He didn't know what young people did these days,

    "Yeah, silly me."

    "You're so cute," you blurted, shaking your head playfully. "But, honestly? I do know how to have my fun. I mean, I do it mindfully though, 'cuz I have shit to do, you know? Party hard, study hard. I go out with friends for drinks... and between me and you, I was doing that before I was twenty one."

Steve nodded understandingly,

    "Some part of me wants to reprimand you for that, but I don't wanna rain on your parade."

    “You don't have to rain, you could just spank me if it's that serious," you scoffed with a laugh, again saying the dirtiest things nonchalantly, unbothered. You were constantly flirting with customers, but with Steve it came much more naturally.

   "Spank you?" Steve choked out.

   "Yeah, you know? Like a little slap on the ass," you turned around, your ass in the camera, and gently smacked your hand against your ass, which was clad in a sheer bodycon dress that you had made yourself.

(looks something like this)

You were being playful, acting the precocious, girly way that you would with your friends. You thought nothing of it. Steve on the other hand, was getting incredibly warm, fidgety, and was trying to ignore the growing tent in his pants.

   "Like- like that?" he stammered, breathless, and you nodded, seemingly unaware of his pain.

     You turned back around and sat down in front of the camera,

    “You must not be a dom, huh. You don't strike me as one. But I'm sure if I pressed the right buttons, you could be."

     “Dom?" Steve repeated, as if the word were from a foreign language.

     "My, my, my, Steve. I've got a lot to teach you. Oh, but actually, I do have a hobby that gets me through my stress. Besides, you know, masturbating and going out with friends."

   Steve smirked, he was intrigued,

    “And what's that?"

You bounced up onto your toes so that Steve could see a full view of you on the camera. At first, when you were just sitting in front of the camera, he could only see your head and shoulders. Now he could see all of you, and he could see the dress you had designed.

   "Making clothes!" you chirped, so adorably that Steve couldn't help but smile, a warm feeling bubbling in his chest. You spread your arms out, letting the fringe on the dress spread. You placed your hands on your hips and swayed slightly in place. You smiled gently. "For my brand of course. But making the clothes is kind of therapeutic. When you work really hard on something and it comes out with the result you want, it's just this fucking... amazing, gratifying feeling. I love it."

     Steve grinned, watching you show off your clothes. He was glad to hear that from you, he believed in you and truly thought you were capable and would succeed in what you did.

    "That's beautiful," he complimented your dress. He knew nothing about fashion, but you looked good in whatever you wore - it was a plus that you made it. "Even with all I know, I don't think I could do that."

    “Oh, don't be silly. You probably could. You just have to try, remember?"

    “I know, I know."

As you stood there twirling and swaying, just letting him enjoy you, he could hear the faint sound of music playing in the background. He squinted, leaning closer to try and hear more. It was a nice song, with an upbeat electronic twist although it was R&B.

    "What's this song?" he asked.

     You paused, delightfully surprised by the question, unable to hide your ferocious smile,

    "What, the one I'm playing? It's called Lost by Frank Ocean."

     “Frank Ocean," Steve repeated slowly, so he could remember the name of the artist. You were encouraging him to try new things - why not start with music?

   "Have you heard of him?"

   "I'm afraid I haven't," Steve replied, and you chortled again.

   "'I'm afraid I haven't'," you repeated, putting on his deep voice. "So proper. You like this song?"

Steve shook his head playfully when he heard you mocking him, then answered,

     "Yeah, never heard it before."

You squealed excitedly and ran to turn it up, then ran back into the frame.

     "I love Frank Ocean, seriously. He's one of my favorite artists. What about you?"

Steve was almost taken aback by the question and took in a deep breath, shrugging as he tried to come up with an answer,

     "Gee, I don't know. I think I listen to too much old crap, probably."

      "I can get down with that." You scoffed. "Quit bullying yourself."

Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in Steve's head. He was enjoying talking to you, but what better way to combine a regular conversation with pleasure? He was feeling his need building up, the longer he talked to you. You said such outrageous things and you were so gorgeous - it was hard for him not to want you. And maybe you could both have some fun with this, and his request wouldn't feel like work, though it would definitely help him get off.

     "Hey, can I ask you something?"

     "Sure."

     "You mind... dancing? To this song, I mean?" he asked, slightly nervous to ask because he didn't want to feel pushy.

You raised your brows in surprise, a wide mouthed smile showing up. It seemed like Steve was discovering what he wanted to see, what would make him feel good.

   "You wanna see me dance? Uh, yeah, I would love to. It's hard not to dance to this song. What, you want me to dance like a stripper or something? I don't have a pole - yet, but I can—"

Steve laughed, cutting you off and shaking his head,

     "Nah, you don't have to dance any specific way. I guess, just dance how you feel."

You lit up at the suggestion, and laughed, already beginning to sway,

    "Is this gonna get you off, Steve?"

Steve blushed, coiled like a turtle going into his shell,

    "Maybe."

    "Oh, don't be shy. I want it to. I wanna hear your moans, I want it to drive you crazy and bring you release. Is that what you want?"

You twirled slowly, dragging your hands up and down your body, dancing to the beat of the music. Steve watched, already entranced with the way your body, perfectly caught in the tight dress, moved. It almost scared him how perfect you looked, just swaying your body to a song,

    "That's what I want, baby."

The words spilled out of his mouth, just like last time. This time it felt much more natural though, easier, as he watched you on the full screen. You smiled, rolling your hips and bringing your hands up in the air to match your motions. You hummed the words to yourself, sang the lyrics,

    "Girl you know you're lost, lost in the thrill of it all."

     The song was so sensual and felt so personal to you - your job was so sensationalized and it was easy to get lost in the idea of it, the aesthetic. But it was hard work. This song felt like a celebration of that. Steve's spit got caught in his throat watching you sing along, watching your body loosen up and relax as you continued dancing around your room, your body moving freely and in such a hedonistic manner. He liked watching you enjoy yourself, liked watching you in what seemed to be your element. You were so confident, so unbothered. It wasn't awkward that you were dancing alone. Again it felt intimate, felt like he was there with you.

     "I'd tell you to dance, but what I really want you to do is touch yourself. Can you do that, Stevie?" you purred, and he grunted at the sound of the nickname you had donned for him.

      "Yeah, doll," Steve began to palm himself over his boxers, his breaths becoming heavier as he watched you. It felt so gratifying, so closed off — just for the two of you.

   You giggled, as if you hadn't just said what you had said, and got down low on the floor as you danced away, on your toes, and came back up again.

     "Hmm," you sighed. "Can I take this off for you?"

     Steve's jaw clenched, you already looked so good in the dress, but to see you take it off and continue dancing would probably make him come right then and there.

     "Yeah, take that off for me."

     You were practically teasing him as you began to lower the sleeves of the dress, still dancing and running your hands up and down your body. You wanted him to savor the moment, and savor it he did. You removed the top half slowly, your breasts tumbling out as you cupped them with your hands. You sighed again, biting down on your lip.

    Steve was breathing hard through his nose now, slowly taking his cock, which had been hard for too long, out from his boxers, where it sprung up hard and veiny against his stomach. It twitched painfully, he almost couldn't bare to touch himself. But he palmed the head, slippery with precum, with a few mindful fingers.

   "Is that good, baby? You wanna see everything?" you gestured to the bottom half which still hadn't been removed, and Steve exhaled sharply.

    "Fuck, yeah I wanna see everything. Take it all off, doll."

You felt your body react to the nickname as you slid out of the dress, clad in a g-string underneath this time. The skimpy nature of the g-string, glittery and glamorous just like you, made Steve moan under his breath. You noted his reaction with a playful smirk, tugging gently at the straps and letting them slap against your glowing skin.

    You bit down on your lip and let your entire palm run against your clothed center, swaying your hips in all directions as you slowly pulled down the straps and revealed what was underneath, Steve letting out an audible sigh as he wrapped his hand around himself. He bit down softly on his lip, eyes dark and his lids heavy, trying to restrain himself. He wanted to be at the same pace at you, wanted to see you tease yourself the way you had during your live show.

   You sighed out in pleasure, using two fingers to rub at your clit in circular motions while you stood, Steve watching silently. Then you lowered yourself to the carpeted floor, spread your legs in front of you and continued, bringing your fingers to your lips to suck on them before you went back down. The way you did it was tantalizing, so erotic and intimate. You weren't trying too hard, you never were, but this way - slow and lustful, was like you were there with him all over again.

    Your eyes became dazed and almost glazed over just at the slight tingle of pleasure. You had been stimulating yourself for over an hour since the start of your public show, but with him you didn't feel tired or worn out. And you still hadn't had the orgasm that you knew would absolutely finish you. You knew how to navigate so you weren't exhausted by the time you were through with your shows and your private chats, but still, with Steve it felt like the pleasure was amplified by a hundred.

    "Oh," you moaned, your voice going up a pitch. You wanted more, and you decided you wanted to bring a toy into the mix. "I wanna ride you, Steve."

     Steve grunted in response and you slowly got up, crawling on all fours as you dragged out your fuzzy chest full of toys, lube, and other random things for your shows. It was like a cam girl treasure chest. You returned to the frame, smiling devilishly as you sifted through all your materials, finally pulling out the dildo you wanted to use. It was a good size, six inches, and pretty realistic. You waved it around in the air,

      "This how big you are?" you asked with a seductive gaze in your eyes.

Steve stroked himself slowly as he let out a sharp almost barking laugh, a surge of sudden and unexpected cockiness running through him (because let's be honest, a supersoldier like him was certainly bigger than six inches),

      "Little more."

You grinned obscenely, appreciating Steve's noticeable boost in confidence. And in the back of your mind you thought about the three fingers you had used to accommodate him last time. He was pretty consistent - you wondered just how big he really was. If you knew him in real life, you'd probably jump at the chance to fuck him.

   "Think it'll suffice? I'm not sure if I can take that much more right now," you asked teasingly.

   Steve chuckled, a warm, deep chuckle that made your insides churn. It was incredible how much a voice could turn you on, how much you liked hearing his voice and wanted to hear it,

    "I'll go easy on you, doll."

     You raised your brows in pleasant surprise,

    "You'll go easy on me, huh? Steve, you're getting feistier by the minute. I like it."

Steve laughed, slightly embarrassed. He just wanted you to do what you were comfortable with, wanted to see real pleasure,

    "I just want to make sure you feel good."

    "Little ol' me?" you snorted, bringing out your mirror to place on your carpet so you could place the suction dildo on top. You stuck it in place and kneeled before it. "Well, you don't have to worry about that, Steve. You always make me feel good."

     You winked at him and focused, beginning to lower yourself and arch your back, your ass in the air as you went face to face with the dildo.

   "I just wanna make you feel good," you huffed, eyeing the camera as you cupped your lips around the head of the dildo, pushing your hair behind the ear and looking down as you bobbed your head slowly. Your lips wrapped perfectly around the toy, suctioning and sucking and making it wet enough for you.

     "Wow," Steve breathed in slowly, truly in awe of you. He had really never seen anything like it, how dedicated you were to the performance. You were like an artist, a beautiful, twisted artist, and you knew just how to sell your show. And somehow you did such a salacious act with so much grace, made it so sexy and purposeful.

     He paused touching himself just to watch you, but that didn't mean he was any less hard. You moaned around the toy, looking into the camera as if you were making eye contact with the man you couldn't even see, as he goaded you on, his voice gentle and deep,

     "That's it baby, you look so good sucking that dick."

Your felt your pussy throb around nothing just at the sound of Steve dirty talking. You could tell that the more you did, the more you coaxed him into it, the more comfortable he got with everything. He had surprised you multiple times tonight.  You brought your head up, lips making a popping noise as they slid off the toy,

      "It's yours."

Steve licked his lower lip, bringing it slowly into his mouth and sliding his closed fist up and down his erection.

   "It's mine?" he asked, his voice going an octave lower.

   "Mhm, your cock. You ready, baby?" you hovered over the dildo, squatting above it as you readied yourself.

   "Yes, go slow," Steve instructed.

   "Is that what you want?" you breathed out in pleasure as you teased your slick folds with the head of the toy, rocking your hips slowly back and forth. "You want me to tease myself with your cock?"

      Steve let out an unbridled moan, pumping gently,

     "Yeah, please. I want this to be real, baby. Like your live show."

      You laughed quietly as you lowered yourself down onto the dildo, moaning as you took it in slowly, stopping a quarter of the way and just rocking back and forth, taking his request into consideration. And then, you had an idea.

"Honestly, if he keeps watching my shows, I wanna teach him how to dirty talk. I think then it'll be something serious."

That was what you had said to your friend Jane over the phone, and now was your chance to manifest it. You'd been kidding when you said it would turn your relationship into something serious, but if hearing Steve dominate you and dirty talk to you didn't make you want to fuck him even more, you didn't know what would.

   "Tell me what you want Steve. Tell me how you want me to do it. I don't wanna do a thing unless it's under your control," you smirked, waiting for him to come up with something on his own.

In that deep, husky voice of his he spoke,

     "Yeah? I want you to tease yourself, and go slow. Match my pace."

   You moaned at the thought of him stroking himself at the same pace as you, and lowered yourself a little further,

     "Is this allowed, Stevie?" you questioned curiously and innocently, prompting him further.

He got some idea of what you were trying to do, though he didn't have much experience doing it himself - at least not in the bedroom. While he wanted you to please yourself at your own pace, he also thought this might be interesting. You could do both.

    "Yeah baby, little more." You slid down further until almost all of it was inside of you, and he pumped himself a little quicker now. He groaned, the noise he made almost guttural. "Yes, that's it Moonrose. Now stop."

     You whimpered, your heat throbbing as he commanded you. You were almost losing sense of the fact that this wasn't all real, because it felt so good. You liked hearing him get more dominant with you, though you adored his regular state, which was almost needy.

     "Yeah, you can be the boss. You tell me what to do, baby."

     Steve grunted, holding back an orgasm as he watched how well you gripped the toy, imagined what it would feel like to really be inside of you. He'd be much bigger, no doubt, and make you howl with pleasure.

     "Ride it for me," he ordered. "Slow, then pick up the pace."

     "Ride you?" you repeated, beginning to lift yourself up, then back down again, slowly like he told you to. It was big enough to hit all those good places inside of you, make you wetter and hotter, give you those real time reactions. All the panting and moaning, the way your brows furrowed in concentration, the way you bit down on your lip with fervor.

      Steve watched you ride it, pumping himself at the same pace, feeling himself throb and twitch inside of his hand, speeding up when necessary. The both of your moans were loud and unhinged, filling up your respective rooms with righteous release. Steve loved how he could tell how good it felt for you, how you weren't holding back at all, your pussy gliding easily around it, leaving a trail of arousal along the shaft of the toy. You were bouncing fast and hard after a while, gasping and panting and moaning while Steve did the same in the form of groans, grunts and heavy breaths. Like you, he felt lost in translation in the best way - like nothing else was there, just the two of you and your needy bodies.

   "You feel so fucking good, baby, don't stop," Steve moaned, breathing harshly through his nose. He felt close, his stomach twisting and turning with yearn.

     "Fuck, Steve," you gasped out. You hardly sounded like yourself, in such an ecstatic state. "I'm so fucking close, baby. Steve, can I come?"

    You were still leading him, wanting him to be even more dominant and controlling with you, but you hardly needed to. You were basically giving in, you were fully committed to the act of being submissive now. Everything in and around you felt so good, "so fucking warm", as stated by you. And no doubt, Steve felt it too. Watching you take it, watching you moan in pure ecstasy as you threw your head back, your hair tumbling against your breasts, the glint of sweat forming on your forehead, the way your stomach flexed as you moved up and down. You were fucking invincible, Steve thought. Always gorgeous, somehow.

   But Steve thought he'd let this last a little longer. You wanted him to be in charge, he'd take that seriously. Like an order.

    "No, doll, hold it in for me," he huffed, though he felt himself growing close as well, and couldn't help but cum, feeling it leave him with a satisfied groan. "Fuck, I'm coming."

You whined, pouting,

   "Steve, I wanna be able to come with you."

Yeah, it was definitely easy to be submissive.

     Steve chuckled slightly,

   "That's okay, I can last a long time, darling. Keep riding that dick for me, don't come until I say so."

   With a shuddering moan you kept going. When you looked down at what you were doing, the toy disappearing inside of you each time you bent down, you swore you had never been more turned on in your life. Your brows were crossed and your mouth dropped into an o-shape. You were moaning and almost sobbing, the build up feeling unbearable. You brought your hand down, rubbing frantically at your clit,

     "Fuckkk, Steve, please let me come."

He came again with a sharp exhale and vicious grunt, but still wanted to hold off for one last one, in tandem with you. He almost felt bad, but the pleasure was so unbearable, and he knew you were enjoying it,

     "Ah, god. Hold on, I promise I'll let you come soon if you just wait a little."

You stifled a moan, cupping your breasts as you rode it without the support of your hands on your knees,

    "Y-yeah, you gonna let me come, Stevie? Please let me come, oh my god," you felt almost lightheaded with the overwhelming sense of fulfillment, rolling your head back, your eyes rolling back in your head, your glossy lips dropped open in the most sensual of ways. You didn't know what you did to Steve, how much you made him want you.

     "Go ahead, doll, come for me," Steve resolved, and when you came it was like a waterfall was crashing down on you. Both because of the intensity and because of the fact that you were squirting, letting go of all that held back release. You knew it was coming yet you whimpered in surprise when it happened, still continuing to ride the toy even as you were coming, watching as it flowed out of you, onto the mirror and more.

    "Fuck," Steve cursed, pumping fast and hard as he came again, and again, watching as you rode out your high. He could hardly even process the fact that you had squirted - completely natural, and yet a huge turn on. He slowed his hand, still hard as a rock, but coming down himself.

     You were blubbering and saying things that didn't even make sense, Steve slightly grinning to himself as you spiraled out of control. You got off the dildo with a final moan, covering your eyes with your forearm and fingering the rest of your cum out of yourself with two fast moving fingers.

      "My god," you groaned, sliding your fingers out of yourself. It was almost embarrassing how wet you were, how aroused you still were, throbbing like crazy from the aftermath. The comedown was a process, you breathing in deep and heavy.

      "That's it, doll. So good. It's okay, doll," Steve murmured, helping you come back down.

     "Mm," you hummed, removing your forearm from your eyes and forehead and instead covering your face with your hands, giggling. "Oh my god, that's so embarrassing."

      Steve laughed,

      "Not embarrassing. You did so damn good, baby."

      You groaned,

     "Ugh, don't praise me, that makes me wanna go again, and I think if I do I'll explode. On the other hand, please do keep praising me."

You laughed again and winked. It was true, because you were so turned on by his voice, especially when it was praising you and telling you how good you had been. Sure, other guys could be dominant, but with Steve it actually felt so real, it made you lose all sense of reality. It didn't feel forced.

     "Really, you were amazing." Steve tipped again - he had been tipping the whole way through. And of course his big tips were an incentive, but they weren't the only reason you talked to him. Not at all. "Jesus. I don't get worn out, but..."

   "You tired, Steve?" you smiled, teasing. "God, I don't know how I'm gonna clean this up. This is all your fault, you know."

You laughed playfully. To be fair, you had came, like, a lot. Steve's jaw clenched at the sight of it all, but he grinned.

     "My apologies."

    "Please," you shook your head, wiped the sweat off from your forehead and slowly started packing everything up.

You and Steve chatted for a while longer after that, about trivial things. This was a little unusual. Usually when you finished, you wrapped it up. But you had time, and he had time. And you both wanted to stay and chat. And it was also unusual because usually when you finished, your customer was done too, and there wasn't really room for "chatting" after that. But Steve seemed to want to talk.

    "You're fucking hot as a dom, by the way," you noted, pointing a finger at him through the screen.

    "Me?" Steve pointed a finger at himself in return. "I hardly even knew what it was, but I've got an idea now."

   "Oh, trust me, you're gonna wanna learn more. You're made for this, honestly." You sighed, and looked at the time. "It's late. This was... really, really great. Thanks again."

    "Thank you."

A beat passed, a silence between the two of you, though it was almost like you were still communicating. Maybe this really was different. Maybe it really did mean something. You were so in sync, could snap in and out just like that, and still have great conversation. You were both thinking the same thing - this was a real connection. And you were both beginning to give in to those thoughts you wanted to push back, just slightly. But this time, it didn't bring any worry. It just felt nice, blissful. Still not too serious, but still something. What you both didn't know was just how much it really would blossom.

     "Well," you said, a sigh of contemplation. "Think I really like this, Steve."

    "Me too," he swallowed hardly. He was feeling something, that same butterfly-like feeling he'd felt the first time. "I'm so glad we... uh..."

   You waved your hand with a grin,

   "It's late, I better go. It was great talking to you again, I actually look forward to this. Weirdly enough. I think I should go, though, I got school."

     "I-I got work," Steve stammered, thinking of how you said you look forward to this. He wasn't just another customer, and you weren't just some random girl. The realization was hitting him like a ton of bricks. "I'll see you."

     "Yeah," you cooed. Then, with a silly face, your eyes crossed and tongue hanging out you waved goodbye. "Byeee!"

     And just like that, there was a shift in his world, in your world. Steve didn't know what he had coming next.

🙈oof how was it y’all!!! i hope not too long LOLLL i had to fit a lot in... next chapter will be some tea! reply wit ya thoughts <3 thank u for reading, stay safe!!