#it's okay to tell these people to eff off

[kharmii]

Hey, fuck you! You don't get to talk to people like that. Just because I'm white, doesn't mean that your feelings -and every other got-damned person on this planet- is my responsibility. Just because our culture has made it so people you get to beat people like me down with guilt constantly, doesn't mean it's right, and it doesn't mean I'm going to put up with it. Tell all those white people in North Carolina who are getting screwed over after Hurricane Helene because our government gave away their FEMA money to illegals to care about your feelings. Coming from the same politicians who will walk over homeless people dying of fentanyl on their way to give all our money to Ukraine and pro Palestine activists. White privilege is having to foot the bill for everything while getting nothing but grief and lectures in return. Did I say fuck you? I can't remember so here it is again. Fuck you.

Again, the white woman boot camp race hustler scam.

It's really sad but mostly disgusting how much yt people cling to their right of comfort. I'm not even sure how exactly you can equivocate the anxiety (? debatable) of recieving many desperate pleas for help in your inbox and the fact that the people sending those pleas do not know if they will see the next 5 minutes because a fucking bomb could literally vaporize them. Like honestly truly you people are pathetic. Thin skinned and entitled as fuck. How about you put some work into being able to exist in your relatively comfortable lives instead of placing the responsibility of your comfort onto people experiencing LITERAL GENOCIDE? Get over your fucking selves. And why are y'all acting like you invented anxiety? How many of us on here live with anxiety that ranges from paralyzing to deeply debilitating and a hinderance to functioning? But still are able to have enough compassion and grace to understand this moment is not about us? What about someone like Ibtisams who literally lost her dad in a bombing but was on here doing so much fundraising for other people in Gaza? What about 90-ghost who was actually in Gaza and is still helping others to get out? What about their anxiety and trauma? does that fucking matter or is it just about you being the most embattled person in the universe? Likeee I'm sorry you can't cry about how mentally ill and traumatized you are as an excuse as to why you are so callous and cruel and racist. Your guilt is not a shield and is not any of our responsibility to hold. It is in fact very very useless right now. Find some humanity please if at all it exists

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

octavinelle’s “happy endings”

***SPOILER WARNING: This post will go into detail about the dreams Azul, Jade, and Floyd experience in the book 7 part 10 update.***

OKAY, so there’s a debate in the TWST fandom about whether or not Azul and the twins consider each other “real” friends or just business partners. I’ve shared my own thoughts on this topic in the past (which you can read here!). After the most recent main story update, it’s now more clear to me than ever that they do treasure each other even if they don’t express that in traditional ways.

Let’s discuss them in order that they appear in book 7 part 10!! I know there’s some vagueness surrounding how much of the dream is Malleus actively controlling the scenarios (hence the limited and shallow scope of them) and how much the dreams actively pull from the innate desires of the dreamer, but for the sake of the argument let’s assume the latter is more influential in shaping and structure of the dreams.

First up, Floyd!

So Floyd is known as the “I do what I want when I feel like it” guy. He hates two main things: 1) being told what to do/having his freedom restrained and 2) being bored. To ensure that Floyd is happy, the dream consistently shifts to locations so he vanishes explore and experience new things.

What you might notice is that Azul and Jade aren’t around in Floyd’s dream. This doesn’t mean they don’t exist or that Floyd doesn’t know who they are though. When asked, Floyd replies that Azul is simply doing his own thing (focusing on his business ventures/schemes) and Jade is there supporting him, thus leaving Floyd to his own devices. The fact that Jade and Azul are still present in Floyd’s dream, just not in an immediate capacity, makes complete sense.

In the waking world, Floyd loves to stir up trouble with his brother and Azul. The thing is, Floyd also dislikes it when they tell him off, order him to do something he’s not in the mood for, or punish him for acting out. Yes, Jade for the most part enables Floyd to misbehave, and yes, Azul has largely learned by now that it’s best to sit back and let Floyd fuck off/finish throwing a tantrum rather than intervene. However, there are still times when they order Floyd around or get upset with him. For example, Azul scolds Floyd for damaging the vault where they keep the contracts in book 3 and for not selling the drinks he’s supposed to in book 5. We see numerous examples across vignettes as well: Jade forces Floyd to stand in line at a famous patisserie for Trey as penance for eating special fruits meant for a VIP client (Trey Labwear vignettes), Azul and Jade wring Floyd for his eel slime (Azul Ceremonial Robes vignettes), Azul orders Floyd to secure the rights to Sam’s Mystery Drink even though Floyd shows a clear disinterest in the task (Floyd Dorm Uniform vignettes), etc.

In spite of these grievances, Floyd doesn’t entirely despise Jade and Azul, nor would he be happier without them. They’re an important part of his life, hence why they still linger in the dream, just in the periphery where they can’t butt in with whatever Floyd wants to do. Jade and Azul aren’t present and compliant since that, too, would quickly bore Floyd. He loves those two goobers in part because they’re chaotic and unpredictable, not because they’re yes men to his every action. The dream might not be able to keep up with that demand; it only seems to operate in extremes rather than conjure enough nuance to keep Floyd stimulated and content. This is why all the places Floyd already visited bored him; he got showered with too many conveniences and eventually got fed up with it all.

If you need even more damning evidence, all previous dreams would manifest someone closely tied to the dreamer in an attempt to keep them in the dreamscape. Who does Floyd’s dream summon? AZUL AND JADE. If Floyd genuinely found them annoying or didn’t want them near, the surely the dream would spawn other people. BUT NO, it specifically spawned THOSE TWO in an effort to convince Floyd. It can be argued that they could very well be a source of hatred since Kalim and Neige showed up for Jamil and Vil respectively, but I genuinely think Floyd doesn’t feel that degree of negativity toward Jade and Azul; the kind of hatred that Jamil and Vil have for their respective counterparts has never been expressed by Floyd toward Jade or Azul.

Floyd reacts to dream!Jade and Azul in a manner that’s very different from the dreamers that came before him… with anger. And a LOT of anger too. He immediately clocks them as phonies and, he, fully waking, demands to know who the fakes are, because they certainly aren’t Jade and Azul. Floyd points out their faces and voices may resemble theirs, but they’re acting in a way that they never would (suggesting a “boring” way of living). That pisses him off to the point where he cuts the fakes down all by himself. Brutal violence aside, this tells us a lot about Floyd... as well as Malleus.

We see that Floyd has become lethargic and bored despite the dream's attempts to sate him, which just demonstrates that Malleus, whose magic has a hand in crafting these realities, has a shallow understanding of what makes people happy. (Edit: to be clear, Malleus having a “shallow understanding” of happiness is not a personal take; this is a direct statement made by Idia in-game and this is where I am pulling my phrasing from.) He thinks that removing all obstacles and challenge to what you want is what leads to a happy ending when, in truth, it clearly isn't the case for Floyd, who craves stimulation and change. While Malleus is motivated outright controlling the details of Floyd’s dream down to the wire, his autonomous magic has decided to get rid of any challenges Floyd may face in his pursuit of happiness. (I would continue about the Malleus portion, but since this post is about the Octatrio, I will instead direct you to this post, which shares many of my own thoughts ^^) I think that's why Floyd truly "woke" when he was faced with dream!Azul and Jade; a part of him recognizes how wrong it is for the two people he chose to spend his time with because they're so fun are now turning around and preaching complacency. It tells us just how well Floyd knows those two and values their... unique perspectives, shall we say?

Next, just Jade!

What's immediately fascinating about Jade's dream is that it's also underwater, despite Floyd and co. suspecting it would be on land/in the mountains. Floyd even changes from his merform to his human form prior to hopping to Jade's dream because he was under the impression that it would be on land. This ends up not being the case, although Malleus's magic does manifest the underwater equivalent of "mountains", which are volcanic vents at the bottom of the sea.

We see Jade happily exploring alongside a dream!Azul and dream!Floyd, who are both very different than the real ones. Dream!Azul has big, watery eyes and is much more of a coward and crybaby than the real Azul is. He also seems to be very dependent on Jade, who derives great joy from watching dream!Azul flail about while trying to attain his goals (in this case, access to a gold vein). This is in-character with what we already know about Jade; he amuses himself by watching others struggle--especially Azul, whom Jade frequently teases, such as tricking him to dance as a mummy in the first Halloween event and comparing Azul's greedy attitude to the positive traits of other dorm leaders. Jade also prefers to have control over the circumstances, so he likes it when people defer to his word or advice. So what better to hand him than an Azul that listens to his every word and also provides entertainment value in his tears?

As for dream!Floyd, he presents with a very goofy face and seems to lack his usual aggression and flippancy. Instead, he has a fixation on eating other sea life around him (crabs, shrimp, etc.) and happily goes along with Jade's mountain exploration. Like dream!Azul, dream!Floyd acts dependent on Jade to guide him and even acts cowardly in a fight. Now we can sort of get a glimpse of how Jade feels about Floyd too. Dream!Floyd's pliant and agreeable nature may come in part from the dream seeking to provide Jade with more free entertainment, but it could also be that Jade wants Floyd to share in his interests. But here Floyd is not gung-ho about mountains; instead, he acts very innocently, almost like a kid going along with whatever his parents decide to do for the day. It gives me the impression that Jade doesn't see Floyd as threatening but as someone cute and child-like. This idea is reinforced when, in an attempt to keep Jade dreaming, dream!Azul tells him that Floyd is cute and not some thug (like the real Floyd is). AND JADE 100% BUYS IT. He 100% believes that dresm!Floyd is the "true" one, that his Floyd and Azul would be useless without his support.

Idia makes an important comment at this point in book 7. He explains that Jade is having a hard time waking up because he believes in himself too strongly. That also means that Jade is distrustful of others; he is the only person he counts on. This reflected in how dream!Azul and dream!Floyd present. Both are heavily reliant on Jade to tell them what to do. In real life, too, Jade uses his competency to get into others' good graces (including the notoriously hard to please Vil; see his Dorm Uniform vignettes) so then he can reap the benefits that relationship offers. Jade is just that confident that he can succeed. Indeed, he often is the one coming close to tasting success when all others have failed. If we look back at Ghost Marriage, Jade was about to win over Eliza's heart before Floyd rudely interrupted and pointed out the flowers Jade was gifting were poisonous. Back to Idia's comment; because this is dream's Jade world, he's perhaps too invested in the dream that he has made, thus Jade is choosing to believe the dream that he conjured over the reality staring him in the face. It takes fistfighting with Floyd AND a jolt from Sebek's UM to properly shock some sense into Jade. He is otherwise too stuck in his own head to consider a truth that isn't one he has constructed for himself.

Still, I find it revealing that even though Jade is essentially stuck in his own headspace, dream!Floyd and dream!Azul are the only other people around. Floyd and Azul’s dreams feature way more NPCs, but Jade’s dream is pretty lonely. He could theoretically have several influential people to whisper in the ears of, but instead Jade’s desire is grounded… just being able to explore nature with his twin and Azul. They’re the ones he chooses to spend his time with. No one else. And Jade actively, fiercely defends this simple thing despite usually not being one to resort to violence right off the bat. The only major time in the main story where Jade does this is in book 2, when be noticed that he’s being tailed and does not appreciate the violations of his privacy. That’s exactly what this dream sequence is. It’s another violation of his privacy, and he detests that. You shouldn’t be here interrupting his happy, chill time with his friends business associates. It’s best for you to clear out.

I think it's also worthwhile to note that Floyd and Jade's waking sequences mirror one another. To quote myself from another post:

Something I find interesting is that the twins’ moments of waking mirror each other’s usual approaches to a task. Floyd usually foregoes a plan and prefers to use his fists to get the job done. However, he is slowly roused by reminiscing about his memories at NRC and the promise of being presented with a challenge. The final blow that shocks him awake is the presentation of a dream!Azul and dream!Jade who attempt to lure him deeper into the dream. Floyd doesn’t fall for it; in fact, he gets mad instead, and that fury, so biting and clear, snaps him awake. The opposite is true for Jade. He is someone who meticulously plans before acting, and would rather control the circumstances and use other roundabout methods before resorting to violence. But ironically, the master manipulator Jade is the one who falls for his own dream’s manipulations—all because he trusts himself above all else. He only wakes up because of a very strong physical force (ie Sebek’s UM) striking him. Prior to this, Jade was putting up a very good fight and the blows be was taking were not sufficient to wake fully him. So… Floyd, the brother who prefers brawns, woke up after reflecting and experiencing strong cognitive dissonance between his fake reality and bis true reality. Jade, the brother who prefers brains, woke up after being smacked the right amount. They woke up after experiencing an intense shock related to what is essentially the opposite of their preferred problem solving strategies.

And last but not least, Azul!

We’ve arrived at what I think is the juiciest part to dissect on the subject of the Octatrio’s friendship. To start off with, everyone suspects that Azul’s dream will be one in which he is a highly successful businessman with Mostro Lounge as a chain with even more locations stretching as far as the Coral Sea’s depths. That isn’t the case though! They quickly come to learn that Azul is the leader of Golden Trident, a reigning Coral Rush team. In this dream’s reality Azul was always popular and well-liked. Because he was never bullied, he never started up his shady business in middle school and thus never attracted the interest of the twins. Notably, Jade and Floyd still exist in the dream (as Azul remembers the Leeches from elementary school), but they never got close.

Before we get into the Octatrio’s dynamics, I want to say that the setup of this dream already tells us that a lot of Azul’s desire to become a successful business owner really stems from the longing to be accepted as he is. He uses his businesses and accumulation of contracts to reinforce and inform his self worth. Azul has formed a false belief and identity entering around the concept of success and likability equating to talent and material goods. This explains why he’s so fixated in his public image and being perceived as smart, confident, reliable, and trustworthy, and why he loses it so quickly when he’s denied his collection of golden contracts. Azul is insecure as heck about his shortcomings (athleticism being one of them) and the dream may be latching onto that, as well as his desire to be liked by his peers, to overcompensate.

A little thing I'd like to call attention to is that Jade refuses to divulge the private details of Azul's past in which he was bullied. This is significant because most other instances of the twins bringing up Azul's past usually results in them making fun of him for it and continuing to rag on him to the point where Azul becomes annoyed and tells them to quit it/reminds them that they swore to not talk about it. In those other instances though, the twins never tread that far; they'll at most comment about how different Azul looked or acted back then. They never went so far as to point out how badly he was bullied and here we see Jade respecting Azul's privacy by vocalizing that he refuses to release that information. And this JADE we're talking about, the one who has zero qualms with scoping out prospective new students for their personal info so Azul can later hold it against them (Jade Ceremonial Robes vignettes). Jade even blackmails older students to attain what he wants (Ortho Athletic Gear vignette). It says a lot that, when given the option to openly blab about what Azul experienced and have a laugh about it, Jade clams up.

sdjbaslidbasib OKAY I GOT SIDETRACKED, BACK TO AZUL'S DREAM. So he remembers the Leeches from elementary school, meaning that their existence was not entirely purged from his dream world. It's just a different timeline of events since he wasn't bullied in this reality. Azul is quite friendly to the twins and invites them to join his Coral Rush team at his mother's restaurant for a celebratory dinner. When we arrive at the restaurant, Azul and his team mates start to make fun of the land creatures for very similar things that he actually got bullied for in the waking world. (For example, being clumsy and uncoordinated in their swimming.) He's no longer the bullied, he is a bully. In a twisted way, Azul is getting validation of his own identity by looking down on others; this mirrors his behavior pre-OB in book 3, as he also mistreated his anemone'd peers back then. Tellingly, the only people he doesn't bully are... that's right, Jade and Floyd. Azul instead asks them to play Coral Rush with him. Again, this parallels what we saw in book 3: Azul is asking the twins to essentially "join" him in the midst of him abusing his power and lording over others. He still cares deeply about Jade and Floyd's approval specifically. Nowhere is this demonstrated so clearly as the method by which the twins finally get Azul to start questioning the construct of the dream. They start smashing up the restaurant but then grow bored and make as though they're going to casually leave. That triggers a memory from book 3 in which Azul is angrily shouting about how he'll always be alone. Alone. That's what Azul fears, being that lonely little octopus crying in his pot. That's why he's surrounded by adoring team members and fans in his dream. That's why he breaks down emotionally and OBs after the twins refuse to hand over their UMs to him in book 3. That's why he becomes distraught enough to shake the dream at the suggestion that Jade and Floyd, his two closest friends, are threatening to leave him. In book 4, Azul tries to be cool and play off this fear as the inevitable, that he's fully aware that the Leeches will discard him if he stops being entertaining to them, and that he's prepared for that when it happens. But... is that really the truth, given how Azul reacts in book 7? Everything leading up to this moment seems to imply Azul was just lying to himself, perhaps in an attempt to quell his own anxieties about the possibility. And given how Azul is shown to be calculated in cultivating a put-together public persona, I would not be shocked to learn that. It wouldn't make him seem strong or confident if he displayed weakness or fear over losing his right-hand men. I don't even know that he's purposefully telling a lie. It could very well be something Azul tells himself and believes in, but deep down he cannot truly know how emotional he would get if it ever happened.

As soon as Azul starts to wake, the mermobs of his Coral Rush team are the ones who come in and pull him deeper into the dream. Interesting to have just mobs doing this rather than a dream!Jade or dream!Floyd, given how important they seem to be to Azul. Maybe that's just how the surface level of the dream works? Like, it prioritizes lavishing Azul with general attention rather than the attention of two specific people since, in this dream's reality, Azul never bonded with Jade and Floyd (so those two wouldn't be as convincing?).

When Azul is being dragged into the darkness, Jade and Floyd don't go after him. Instead, they kinda just sit back and claim it's Azul's choice to dream more deeply so who are they to interfere? It takes some convincing from Ortho to convince the twins to pursue Azul into the next layer of the dream--but after the twins depart, Ortho wonders if Jade and Floyd being this cold is actually their way of showing trust. This sort of behavior is why I stress so often that we cannot take what the Octatrio do and say at face value all of the time. They have completely different ways of expressing that they care, and they don't always mean what they insist they mean. (KEEP THIS IN MIND BECAUSE IT COMES BACK INTO PLAY SOON.) In the second layer of Azul's dream, we revisit the events of book 3 had he been successful. He's setting that final class trip picture on fire and relishing in his total conquest of Night Raven College. Azul has ~500 golden contracts, the UMs of the other dorm leaders, and even has Crowley under his thumb--and this time, there's a dream!Jade and dream!Floyd to enjoy that victory with him. The rescue squad has to trick Azul into accidentally sanding his own contracts again, and it's that loss that finally breaks him. Again, we see how much of his own self-worth and value Azul places in that which he collects. It all ties back to that fear of not having anything of worth--not even allies to call his own--if he loses what he believes makes him desirable. At this point, Azul begins to sink into that final layer of his dream (the part where he confronts his OB self). This time, the twins lunge after him, calling out Azul's name and instructing him to grab onto them (+ Jade tells Floyd to help him pull). UM, HELLO????? The "take my hand" imagery, that symbol of trust and connection, from all the way at the start of the game is rearing its head here 😭 AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S EVEN CRAZIER???? The twins just... let go after that??? But not because they don't give a crap about Azul--no, it's because they care and believe that he can fend for himself, that he's no longer a weak person who cries and needs their support to stand on his own. Jade sends him off with a "good luck" and Floyd asks of Azul to not go to hell. Azul casually says the same right back to them before descending. And, just as the twins suspected, Azul is able to win against his inner demons and return to them, safe and sound. They were right about Azul, and Ortho was right about the Leeches. For as cold as Jade and Floyd seem to act, it's actually a front for how much they care.

In the segment where Azul faces his Phantom, he cites that the weight of everything he has taken from others has made it difficult to move. Taken literally, it of course could refer to the tentacles of his merform making it hard for him to swim. Metaphorically though? It can easily mean that he can't achieve personal growth if he's burdened by the weight of his sins (stolen talents, items, etc.). These things he stole may glitter, but they are not gold and he now realizes they aren't things he actually finds valuable. Azul wants to go out there and find things of "real value". I interpret this to mean intangible things that can't really have a price put to them, things that cannot be bought in stores... like friendship, the very thing he has with the twins but failed to call it that this entire time.

Everything in these dreams, and more specifically Azul's dream, demonstrates the Octatrio's mutual respect and trust in one another. Jade and Floyd acknowledge Azul as a strong individual, and Azul's subconscious reveals that he deeply values the twins and seeks their approval even when they've been removed from the picture.

[what-gs-watching]

“I can only smile like this because I have lost so much.”

Y’aaaaaaall, how excited am I that Doctor Who is finally back?! The 60th anniversary specials got me so on board for 15, and I am really so curious about how his arc is going to play out. Nunuwho, and all that. I’m here for it, I’m ready, I desperately need the distraction. 

Obviously, last time we saw 15 he was getting into hijinx with his new companion Ruby over Christmas, and I appreciate that’s exactly where they picked up for the first episode. 

Let’s talk about it. 

Space Babies

Wherein the Doctor and Ruby end up on a space station and something is definitely wrong.

Okay so, this episode was honestly just really cute from start to finish. Babies on a space station? Running the station, rolling around in little strollers? Trying to fight the boogeyman? Fucking adorable. Was the CGI to move their mouths weird? Of course. But again, I’m totally bought into this absolutely ridiculous situation so you gotta just roll with it. It’s pretty clear that this season is going to be a lot more whimsical than they have been in the past, and that might not be some people’s thing, but oh well. I can’t drag myself away from Doctor Who, it’s become too much of me, so I really will just follow where they lead, why the eff not. 

It’s also obvious they’re gonna keep leaning into the whole Timeless Child business, and I’ll go along with that too even if I was NOT a fan of the Flux because I’m interested to see what 15 is going to make of it. He was surprisingly upfront about where he was from when Ruby was grilling him, that was something that historically had to be PULLED out of the Doctor. Telling her, “the one that was adopted was the last one left” (which, isn’t he technically the first time lord also, since they basically harnessed whatever he technically is to become time lords?) And then this man actually said the word ‘genocide’ AND  expressed his gratitude about the fact that he’d survived. Is the Doctor finally letting go of the guilt he felt over that entire absolutely insane situation? 15 really is all about that emotional growth. You love to see it. 

Bypassing the ridiculousness that is a monster made out of straight up baby BOOGERS, I also thought it was interesting that they let that creature live. I’m not sure 10 would have. But again, the whole ‘the only one of my kind’ thing. Adopting the forgotten. Saving everybody, for once. 

Basically, the whole thing was pure fluff. And I like that sometimes. Cute first official adventure. Even though I gotta say I was surprised he gave Ruby a key like, fucking immediately. 15 really is going all in on those human emotions. It’s gonna get him in trouble, gang…

The Devil’s Chord

Wherein Ruby makes a request for where she’d like to go, and they land in 1963, but again, something is definitely off.

OKAY so, here’s the thing about this episode. Asking to see The Beatles recording their first album is a DIRECT LINE to my heart. Ruby talking about listening to records with her aunt - that’s me with my dad. And it’s absolutely what I would suggest. I enjoyed that he said everyone asks about the Titanic (I would too, eventually) but this girl got her priorities right. 

And I loved how he reacted to it. Pure fucking joy, 15. And the little vignette with them getting dressed up and strutting through the fucking TARDIS, yelling “I’ve got wigs galore!” And then being so absolutely excited about landing basically on the cross walk of Abbey Road. Just, all of it. Pulling all kinds of strings for me. I can’t even. 

I can also appreciate how  they got around not being able to utilize actual Beatles music - music is dying! Music is gone! John and Paul singing about having a dog; “my dog is alive, he’s not dead … he’s not your dog, if you want a dog get your own.” I loved the surprise of it, how absolutely absurd. 

The conversations that Ruby and The Doctor have with Paul and John too…the whole episode is a love letter to music, and I love that. 15 says something like “songs that lift you and devastate you and-and make you soar…” and shit, that’s exactly what it is (I say, as I continue to cry through The Tortured Poet’s Department).

John saying “why do I wake up crying?” ugh. The whole fucking thing. As someone whose life has always revolved around music in some way or another, the thought of losing it really is mind melting. All the feels.

All that to say - the Maestro. Damn, gang. Hard fucking whimsy, I see. And what an absolute psychopath. In a creepy, good, but also terrible way. What the fuck was that? 

The point being now we know a little bit what they’re up against - because 14 played a game at the end of the universe, they apparently let gods from the Pantheon into the universe. So now we’re less about aliens, and more about forces The Doctor really shouldn’t be fucking with, but is going to anyway. Because he caused it, after all. And the devastation he had when he realized that - 15 feels so much, so hard. Gonna hit the entire emotional spectrum with this one, which is so not a Doctor thing, and I will enjoy the entire ride.

 There were so many good moments in this one - Ruby playing the piano on the roof, or when she was trussed up in musical notes and just started emitting Christmas music - and that’s the other thing, the Maestro saying “this creature is very wrong.” Girl, what are you? I love the companion backstories, I really do.

Oh AND The Doctor declaring they had to hide, at one point. My dude is realizing his limitations. 14 wondering what he was underneath all of the gadgets and the time machine really sunk in. And then him talking about how his soul was ripped in half? Jesus. Growth, growth, growth. 

Someone might as well get the emotional epiphanies I should probably be having. It counts if I watch someone else go through it, right? 

There’s too much to say about this one. I loved it, even if I did think the last musical number was almost a bridge too far. But, I’m already on this train, so I’m giving up on clinging to expectations.

Boom

Wherein the two of them land on a planet that’s clearly at war but maybe it’s not all that they think it is.

This one is definitely more classic Doctor Who - immediately they’re in danger and it just ramps and ramps and ramps the entire episode and you can never really relax. I love those. This episode is basically all stakes. 

Doctor standing on a landmine? Check. Ruby valiantly trying to help but most likely is going to make it worse but does it anyway? Yes. Post-apocalyptic “ambulances” wandering the battlefield killing people if they’re injured instead of actually helping them because an algorithm decided it? Of course. 

I feel like a lot of shows lately have been trying to lecture me about the danger of AI (I’m looking at you, Murder At The End of The World, which was so terrible I didn’t even bother writing it up) and I’ve been like ‘yeah yeah I get it jesus’ but I think they did a solid job of it in this one. Capitalism and AI together is honestly a worrying combination, and they got me with this plot.

Essentially, 15 is trapped on a landmine that immolate whomever it ensnares basically, turning him into a giant bomb  which isn’t great because as we know he’s a big ol’ space-time event and he needs to get out of it but then the daughter of a soldier we saw killed by the ambulance shows up and then another soldier coming after the kid and things just go haywire. 

The point is, AI is running everything because war has become an industry (more than it already is) and the algorithm is forcing casualties in a war that literally doesn’t exist and everything is kind of terrible but the Doctor manages to talk his way out of it sort of, by connecting to a projection about being a father and protecting their kids always and forever, no matter the form they’re in. 

It’s kind of sweet that they’re letting 15 talk more about his long, long life - in the previous episode he mentioned his granddaughter and when Ruby asked if he had kids he said something like “did have, will have” and then at the end he tells the child he’ll be back to check on them and that “fish fingers and custard” is his favorite which obviously made me squee and I just really appreciate that he’s more…integrated? It’s always felt like they worked so hard to make sure they’re all different and of course they are, but they’re all The Doctor and I want that thread of all of the things that have come before. 

Also, Ruby again with the weirdness, making it snow after she gets shot accidentally and then grabbed by the ambulance, basically dying on the ground. Girl is complicated. Gimme that backstory!

The other thing I really enjoyed was the mockery of “thoughts and prayers”. Fuck people who hide behind that. Fuck corporations that hide behind that. The Doctor’s not taking your shit, and neither should we. 

All that to say, all three of these episodes were ridiculous in their own ways, and I’m about it. So far, 15 is 1000000% his own thing and I love it even if it is fairly far off the beaten path for Doctor Who and I’m excited to see where else he’ll take us. 

Like he said, “There's hardly any time that we're not dead. Which is a good thing, too. We've got to keep the pace up.”

[mislamicpearl]

Thoughts and favorite moments from LMK season 5, eps 8-10 (finale):

Spoilers galore below:

"Control yourself" OMGOOODDD JUST HOW COLD AND CALMLY NEZHA SAID THAT WAS SO COOL!!

Somehow Nezha calling MK a child is so cute X3

Glad his dad isn't a full on bad guy, though I think he turned around a little fast. Granted we don't want to waste too much time on this.

The Pigsy huggg!😭😭😭

And the mastermind is... a Serpentine! Seriously, my sisters and I made up whole (unserious) theories on the spot there about this guy either coming from or pre-dating Ninjago. My favorite is that the cave he was talking about was the one the Anacondrai were trapped in - he managed to escape to the Ninjago realm before Pythor cannibalized the whole tribe.😆

"Wow, I'm very used to all of our enemies just being like, recycled your old enemies?" "Or like your ex-best friend." Hahaha

Hmm so this guy knew Wukong before, interesting...I just find it kind of funny that this guy (sorry I just couldn't catch his name) that his whole evil motivation is that he wants to just.. eff off.😆

Macaque trying so hard to stop MK sacrificing himself, again I can't believe how far their relationship has come since his first appearance. 😭

"That power. Who gave that to you? Who'd you make a deal with?" "A deal..?" I'M FROTHING AT THE MOUTH, ARE WE ACTUALLY GOING TO GET MORE ABOUT MACAQUE'S POWERS IN THE FUTURE??

Mei trying to straight up bite the snake guy XD

Macaque looking back at Wukong for a moment and seeing how desperate he is to save the kid before breaking them out of their bonds again😫

What did he do to Serpentine guy though??? Seriously give us the Macaque lore already!!!

So usually I HATE the trope of the hero insisting that there's no other way to save the day except to sacrifice themselves and pushing away their friends' efforts to save them... but here I'm kind of on MK's side with this one. They didn't exactly have a lot of time to figure out another way to stop the world from literally breaking apart.

That whole MK and Wukong fight put me in mind of Clint and Natasha from Avengers End Game trying to stop each other from killing themselves, which unfortunately means it was a little comical on top of being emotional.

But let's talk about how Wukong loves MK so much that even though he's so scared of death, to the point of making himself immortal, he still decided to take his place instead.😭

OMG WHAAAT MK ACTIVATED THE PAIN CIRCLET!?

Man... Wukong's guttural screams... cartoons rarely let characters show this much raw primal emotion, probably so as not to upset kids too much, so whenever you do see it you know things have gotten serious.

The fact that Macaque said Wukong's name instead of MK's tells me that he KNEW he would sacrifice himself in MK's place😭

Speaking of raw emotion, man... MK choking up with relief that his friends would be okay was just heart breaking.

So, not that I would've WANTED the "cycle" to renew itself or whatever, but... and this is most definitely just the religious side of me speaking here, I don't know that anyone else will agree with me... but I'm getting a little tired of shows letting the main characters decide the fate of the world based on what THEY want. Like, messages about standing up for your freedom, that's all well and good when it's in terms of rebelling against corruption and oppression, things that humans do to each other. But defying the very way your world is made, messing with the natural order of things because you personally don't like it... that's just arrogant and selfish. People in reality already think they can push the boundary of life and nature however they like; if some things weren't literally impossible, like coming back from the dead, humans would definitely do everything and anything they wanted and excuse themselves on the basis of wanting absolute freedom. That's why there ARE limits, and personally, I'm not a fan of seeing them being challenged as a good thing so often in almost every modern story ever. Wanting things your own way no matter what rules you break is a villain mindset (pretty much what the Serpentine guy's motivation was). I can kind of excuse MK here for the fact that the cycle wasn't supposed to start this early and what he's doing is just putting things back on the right track... whatever, guess I just wanted to get that off my chest, rant over.

Back to fluffy wholesome moments - Wukong crying and saying "I got you" to MK after catching him!!😭😭😭

And more group hugs🥹 This is probably like the third or fourth of this season??

Toy Story 3 moment of everyone holding hands and accepting their fate...

AND WE FINALLY GET THE SCENE FROM THE TRAILER...WUKONG AND MACAQUE ABOUT TO FORGIVE EACH OTHER UGGHH! FART YOU SERPENTINE DUDE FOR INTERRUPTING THEM!!

Yes I DID pay attention to which stone lights went to which characters... and that Mei's went to Red Son, and Pigsy's went to Chang'e, AND WUKONG'S WENT TO MACAQUE!!

Oh yeah nope, we just CAN'T end the season without giving MK something to worry and feel guilty about for next time!

Wukong tearing up saying "I don't want to lose you" MY HEART😭

YO WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MACAQUE'S SHADOW POWER??? AND IT'S ON MK'S STAFF!!! MACAQUE SPECIAL MACAQUE SPECIAL MACAQUE SPECIAL OH PLEEEEASE!!!

Bro, this show... every season has been peak so far.

[vaguely-concerned]

I think we occasionally forget that TF can very much BITE. He plays it cool, looks chill etc and Graves is more GRRR than him, but TF can hurt you with the right motivation. Do you think that ever occurs to Graves? Or is he more like "he's the brain I'm the brawl teehee" and one day it just hits that TF can eff someone up too

Oh I think Graves absolutely knows that T.F. can take care of himself that way when pressed — they have known each other so long and under such circumstances that I’m pretty sure he must have seen T.F. kill someone personally at least once haha. Graves does probably still think of himself as the powerhouse/fighter between them, both because of ego reasons and because I don’t think T.F. is particularly violently inclined unless he’s forced into a corner and removed from all other options. He would rather flight than fight almost every time, but he will fight when necessary. If Graves is a siege cannon, T.F. is more of a surprise stiletto shoved up between the ribs during a handshake lol. Very different in expression, but ultimately the same long-term results (dead motherfuckers when dead motherfuckers are necessary).

What I think WOULD take Graves by surprise is T.F.’s capacity for unrestrained calculated cold-eyed violence specifically for the cause of Graves’ protection. I feel like when it’s just himself on the line, T.F. would prefer to run until he’s out of ground, but if someone forces him at this point to contemplate living without Graves again… he would immediately Choose Violence, and How. 

Here’s a little snippet of something I never managed to make into a whole thing, but the context is basically that some guys have Graves at knifepoint and T.F. goes quietly and intensely Ballistic about it

T.F. stands very still, because he doesn’t need to move to capture all attention in the room. The cold, fierce fury in his eyes is the only statement of intent needed. 

“Get your hands off him,” he says, surprisingly quietly, like he already knew everyone would hang on every word from his mouth without him raising his voice. “Or I will kill every single one of your people and then you, and for you I’ll make it slow.”  

It occurs to me, suddenly, that in all our years running together I ain’t ever seen Tobias truly angry before. Nothin’ like this. It’s not his way; he seems set in some way to not let the world know where it’s touched him — sure, he’s barked back a couple of times when people get too close to something tender, but this is something else altogether. There’s no clever trickery here and no finesse, really. For once he’s just telling the truth.

. . . 

“Are you okay?” T.F. asks, fitting his hand to my cheek and tilting my face up so he can peer at me anxiously, the other hand patting restlessly over my chest as if checking me for new holes. 

“Hell, I’m fine, Tobias,” I say faintly. “I was more wonderin’ how you were doin’ there.” 

T.F.’s distracted, still looking me over with that intensity that borders on desperation. “Huh?”

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

Okay, warning it’s nsfw. But it occurred to me that it might be in the spirit of some of the daisy videos.

Again, discretion and all, and of course you don’t have to engage. But here it is:

https://www.tumblr.com/sugerdady88/716346774167666688

And if it’s against your rules, please tell me to Eff off

oh, I've seen this one before on twitter!

it's giving me halloween with you and steve. you made a deal with him that you two could pick out each other's costumes this year, except you should have probably thought that one out a bit more before agreeing, because in your mind he would have just picked out something cute or funny, never in your wildest dreams had you imagined him to hand you a maid's outfit he picked up at a sex shop of all places.

"sorry, ace. can't back out now. you gotta wear something for the party tonight."

it barely covered anything and before you got a few drinks in you, you hid behind your boyfriend, using the flashy pirate costume you had gotten for him as a cover.

but soon the short hemline of your dress became a problem long forgotten as the two of you danced the night away. rocking to the music, your body pressed oh so close to steve's, he eventually just said fuck it (simply couldn't take the foreplay like dance anymore) and yanked you into the nearest bathroom, plucked you up onto the counter and flipped up your skirt, the vision beneath stunning him to his very core.

"w-where are your-"

"well the underwear I had on peaked out at the edges a lot and looked kinda weird together with this, so I took them off just before we left your house," you explained nervously, "is that okay?"

"is that okay? ace. you mean to tell me I could have to slid into you on the dance floor and none would have been the wiser?"

"you would not have done that!" you scoffed in disbelief just as he ripped the crotch of your fishnets enough for the puff of your pussy to poke out, the black netting framing it perfectly as he freed himself from his pants.

"wouldn't I?" you both shuttered as he ran his bulbous tip through your petals, nudging it insistently against your clit, "you sure about that?"

(link to the daisy series masterlist, just for peoples convenience)

[junglemax]

okay i caved like immediately, based off of @spinetacks recent art

matthew and darby are matching. matthew’s not happy about it.

[drabble]

Matthew hisses as his fingers go over the swelling bumps on his arm. “Screw you, Darbs,” he mutters, looking at the damage in the mirror. “God, this is gonna scar so bad.”

“Aww,” Jack says suddenly, almost mockingly. (He’s been in a god-awful mood ever since Matthew saved him. Quite frankly, Matthew thinks it’s incredibly rude of him, and he’s got better things to deal with than a 26 year old with the attitude of a 15 year old.)

Matthew looks over, confused, and Jack’s looking between his phone and Matthew. “What’s so cute?”

“You and Darby gave each other matching scars. That’s adorable.”

Matthew frowns. “That’s not funny, Jack. He really, really hurt me. Look at this!” He shows his arm.

Jack squints from the couch, raises his phone, and takes a picture before typing something.

“What was that for?”

“I’m gonna send it to Darby.”

Matthew pauses. “Why on Earth do you have Darby’s number?”

“Oh, I got it during the four pillars thing, when we had to team up. I’ve never used it before, so we’re gonna see if I’m blocked or not.” A few seconds pass by, and Jack hums pleasantly. “Oh, look at that! Still not blocked. Very helpful, he is. Unlike you.”

Matthew thinks he’s going to need to send Jack to therapy. Or maybe suicide watch. No one should be that eager to want to die a horrible death at the hands of Darby freaking Allin. “Okay, well I’m going to check up on our other teammates and see if they’re okay while you sit here and mope for the rest of the afternoon like an ungrateful brat.”

Jack mocks his words, then flips Matthew off. Matthew stomps off, and the door shuts right as Jack yells “He just a aw it, by the way!”

Matthew takes a minute or so to try some of his calming techniques. He’s going to need to be professional when talking to Nicholas and Okada. (He decides Hangman is a lost cause and will not be going to see him, despite most of his being telling him otherwise. He will not be dealing with two ungrateful people today, no sir.)

He continues his walk, and is just about to get to Nicholas and Okada’s room when an arm wraps around his waist and he’s pulled into the bathroom.

Matthew’s so surprised he doesn’t even think to fight back, just trying to stay on his feet until he’s face to face with the bathroom mirror, where he finally sees the perpetrator.

Darby grins, making eye contact in the mirror. “Hi, Matt.”

Matthew immediately pushes him off. “What the eff, Darby!”

“Got Jack’s message,” Darby says right as Matthew reaches for the door to not give Darby a lick of satisfaction in beating him up while alone.

Matthew stops at the words though, and turns around, because Darby said it like it meant something to him. “It couldn’t have been that important.”

“It couldn’t have?” Darby sounds hurt, pushing his bottom lip out in a pout. If Matthew didn’t already hate him, he’d find it cute.

Darby reaches for him, and for some reason Matthew lets him pull him back in front of the mirror. He pokes some of the thumbtack marks on Matthew’s arm, earning a hiss each time.

Matthew swats at him. “Stop it, that hurts.”

“Awh, does it?” Darby uses the same tone Jack did before, and Matthew wants to strangle him for it. If they’re working together to go against Matthew, he’s going to kill them before the year ends. “I don’t know if it hurts as much as this did.” Darby lifts his shirt, and Matthew can see the scar the glass left over on his side.

Matthew stares at the lightning bolt shape, then back at his arm, then back again. Both on their right side. If he does scar…

Oh no.

Matthew’s face flushes, realizing that him and Darby are terribly close, with Darby practically against his back, left hand on his waist while his right holds up his shirt just enough. “What do you want, Darby?” Matthew asks, painfully weak.

Darby leans up, lips behind Matthew’s ear. “I want you to realize we’re tied together, now. No matter what you do, who you fight against, who you make allies with, I’ll always be there in one way or another.” He bites Matthew’s ear lightly, just enough to get a whimper out of him, before letting go and pulling away entirely. He slips out of the bathroom without another word.

Matthew shivers, closing his eyes with a shaky sigh. His worst fear is coming true with the worst person imaginable, and he doesn’t even mind.

[blackjack-15]

syd you're doing great! and carmy on her right hand the whole shot, i'm so happy

using the notes! and richie working the tables! amazing!!

it's tense but it's good. carmy getting between marcus and syd (marcus baby you gotta chill it's okay she said no) was beautifully done -- firm, no yelling, and he's back at syd's right hand. where the EFF is josh carmy can't cover two stations all night

wheels are coming off. carmy off to serve, syd angry about it, and things are going Off

carmy now is not the time to hallucinate chef joel. please baby

good deescalation there. and tina picking up the 'i'm sorry' ASL. beautifully done

NO CARMY'S IN THE FRIDGE. EFF

okay that was an effing rush. richie is incredible, syd's incredible, tina's incredible -- everyone pulled together, well done

all season carmy was sending people out to be trained, keeping people on focus, etc etc. and they can operate! he did it! he has a functioning kitchen!

but he feels like he failed everyone. this poor boy.

and of course it's not the NYC chef. but carmy's so haunted it doesn't matter.

CLAIRE YOU SHOULD NOT BE GOING BACK THERE. like fak what the eff you don't tell her he's in the walk in, but hey, true to form, she wasn't accepting 'no' for an answer, so...

yeah. so if you hear your boyfriend who you Love So Much having a complete mental breakdown, you...let him know you're sad and then walk away? ooh. ooooh. absolutely not. go eff yourself claire

richie now is not the time to white knight. i get the protectiveness, richie's like that, and he's mad b/c he wants carmy to have Nice Things, but like. calling him donna? absolutely not called for. he's immediately sorry, but the damage is done. there's gonna be a Talk about that next season i'm feeling -- those two are family but they're dysfunctional family

lovely scene with syd and her dad!

MARCUS NO YOUR PHONE. MARCUS. MARCUS YOUR STICKS

incredible closer. give season 3. get carmy out of the EFFING FREEZER please

can we please see the last of claire soon, and let's get back to the kitchen. the bear's got a lot more to do.

[padfootastic]

Hey padfootastic,

Was scrolling through hp posts and saw a post where people were fighting over Remus situation. So just wanted to know your opinion bout it. Do you think Remus could have done better in PoA? He was a professor, responsible for the safety of others.

No matter how much I love Sirius but at that time he wasn't innocent in others mind, so hiding a big detail that could have affected the whole situation, hell, had Sirius really had been behind harry, he would have been dead cause our little innocent Remus here thought that it was a good idea to not tell them how Sirius had all the resources at his disposal. How easy it was for him to sneak into Hogwarts and harm harry and others.

It really was dangerous and well indirectly he did prove Snape right no? What do you think could have happened had Remus had guts to tell Dumbledore about Sirius being an animagus?

On the other side, oh man! I can imagine Sirius being all furious and depressed at the same time. He'd need to go for another plan, he'd think that now he won't be able to even see Harry easily and many more difficulties. Ugh

Imagine the angst after after innocence thing, Sirius letting go any single drop of love he might have had for Remus and treating him like a any other person. No different. Remus hating himself more and more and Sirius just. Not. Giving a. Single. eff. About the whole damn thing. I cant-

Please tell me what you think bout the whole situation.

yoooooo

i love this lol people asking me for my remus opinions never gets old bc i have endless salt to provide. i will never not be annoyed by that cretin.

okay so. PoA. i don’t often focus on that part of his whole arc (which is, funnily enough, one of the only concessions to remus’ ‘flaws’ that i’ve seen the remus fans give lol) but it’s honestly so??? like it’s literally one of the best examples we have of how self preservation is literally built into his core. iirc he doesn’t do it bc he’s afraid of how dumbledore would perceive him? doesn’t want him to know how they (he) broke his trust? and he’s willing to damn an entire school of students PLUS his best friends son to an alleged mass murderer for it. he will have that on his conscience rather than self introspection a bit and get thru the hard part.

i’ve seen people call him brave for a variety of reasons which all begin and end w his lycanthropy but i’m gonna be honest, he’s one of the most cowardly characters in the series in my opinion. every single time he has to make an active decision that might compromise his sense of self/perception or even just his peace of mind, he backs off. retreats. runs the fuck away. attacks outward. doesn’t take responsibility.

i think snape was both right, in that remus was helping sirius but wrong, because it wasn’t out of any friendship or responsibility. it was just a way to save face for himself. also probably him not wanting to confront any difficult feelings or memories.

wrt if he had told dumbledore? man idek. i literally can’t imagine it and surprisingly, haven’t read any fics exploring that option either 🤔 sus, that. also very telling lol maybe tightened security? disappointed dumbles? i cant see any major changes tho bc even sirius as a grim was pretty well hidden except maybe anti animagus wards if those r a thing?

also yes!!! i think sirius should be allowed to be angry and disappointed more often. he should be spitting mad about the fact that not only did remus not care a lick about harry, he also gave up so easily on sirius. i think he should be allowed that space.

[acesofspadess]

Live

pairing; Niall Horan x black!OC/reader (reader has a name, but read in second person)

summary: after a silly little comment on Niall's live, who would've thought it bring you...well here....

a/n: and she baaack!!! another Niall fix because we can NEVER get enough Niall. Share your thoughts below and comment if you want to be added to the taglist. Happy Reading

You laughed shyly again and decided you should take off the bonnet holding your braids if you were gonna do this. “Cmon, Maia. Cmon.” he cheered you on. “There's 42 thousand people who want to see your face.” that scared you shitless. “Oi, don't say that.” you scolded jokingly and you picked the phone up from the bed. “What are you some sort of model?” he spoke when your face was in full frame. You heard Atticus laugh as you slapped a hand against your face. “Eff off.” you told both of them.

May 2020

The live was pretty silent when it first started. Just the sounds of Niall strumming the guiatar. He started talking about the future of music and that's when you decided to comment.

“I think you should listen to my cover of Still” Niall read aloud and you panicked. In what world would he have seen your comment? “Well let's bring you on then. Gonna bring in Maia” you were sure you were dreaming. “Did he just-” your best friend Atticus snapped his head towards you. “Holy fuck,” you said as you accepted it with the phone turned towards the ceiling.

“I heard that.” he scolded and you laughed nervously, “ ‘ello.” you spoke softly. “Do we not get to see your face?” he spoke confused, “just a hidden person.”

“I don't know about that, I didn't think you were gonna ring me in.” you laughed and at him, “well i did so,”he shrugged with a smile. “Show yourself.” Atticus laughed as you hid yourself in your hands with laughter. “I know I look a right mess right now, I'm still in bed.” you spoke shyly, realising the magnitude of this conversation. “No you don't, your only telling yourself that.”

“Are you Irish?” Niall finally picked up. “And scottish. But funny story really.’ you spoke sarcastically. “I was born in Dublin then when you went all hollywood on us, my parents decided to move to Mullingar, never told me why.” he laughed at the story and while it wasn't funny it was the way you delivered it. You laughed shyly again and decided you should take off the bonnet holding your braids if you were gonna do this. “Cmon, Maia. Cmon.” he cheered you on. “There's 42 thousand people who want to see your face.” that scared you shitless. “Oi, don't say that.” you scolded jokingly and you picked the phone up from the bed. “What are you some sort of model?” he spoke when your face was in full frame. You heard Atticus laugh as you slapped a hand against your face. “Eff off.” you told both of them.

“Well how old were you?”

“I was only 5.” you watched him do the maths in his head for a few seconds, “so you're 20 now?” you shook your head. “19, I turn 20 in december.” he nodded his head in understanding as he spoke, “you live there now? Or have you moved?” he asked as flipped to show him the window. “Does that answer your question?” it was the mural of him across the street and he laughed. “A real fan I see.” and you laughed. “It was the only place i could move into at the time.” he laughed at you and you shook your head.

“Niall you should make her perform for all these people.” Atticus spoke up from next to you. “You have someone with you.” his voice was tight and you didn't know why. “That's my best friend Atticus. He just wants to embarrass me so he has something funny to tell his boyfriend.” you shot back at him. “He is not my boyfriend… yet. And if i wanted to embarrass you id just tell them that you're a raging One Direction fan” Niall and 50k people watched as you hit his shoulder causing him to nudge off the bed and almost fall. You laughed throwing your head back and Niall did too. 

“Okay let's not get hurt on my live. I don't want any legal action.” you laughed as you situated the phone in your hand again. “I do want to hear you though. That is why I brought you on.” you shook your head. “Alright hang on.” 

You got up from the bed and went your ‘music room’ which was the guest bedroom and picked up your acoustic guitar setting the phone on the sheet stand and popping on your headphones so the audio wouldn't be scratchy. “Very professional.” niall commented as fiddled with his guitar. “Take it away.” you cringed tuning your guitar to the right keys. “I'm gonna make a complete haymes of myself.” Niall shook his head letting go of the guitar strings. “You won’t. Now play.”  

You started with the familiar strums of guitar as you did your best not to look at the phone in front of you. 

My mind is complicated

Find it hard to rearrange it

But I'll have to find a way somehow

Overreacting lately

Find it hard to say I'm sorry

But I'll make it up to you somehow

Niall had his eyes closed his head swaying slightly with a small smile

And I just don't know why

The stars won't shine at night

Tell me you want it

If you were watching the phone you would have seen Niall open his eyes in positive shock at how breathy you hit the note.

A thousand miles away from the day that we started

But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest

If honesty means telling you the truth

Well, I'm still in love with you

You played a little bit more of guitar before stopping and looked at the phone to see Niall looking at you bewildered. “Why did you stop?” you shrugged shyly. “I didn't know you wanted me to sing the whole song.” you shot back with a laugh. “What got you into music?” he asked as you played with the strings of the guitar softly. “I don't know, I've always been into it but right now- I mean the whole world has become a creative.” you watched his eyes light up as you said it. “You have to to let it come to you, you know.” you shrugged.

“That was truly amazing. Anytime i hear covers i'm scared because what if i don't like it you know. But that was amazing. You should definitely pursue a career in music. I would love to hear your voice on a stage.”

And that he would...

@youcan-nolonger-run @ravenclawdirectioner

@luxiorchive @maeflowers653

[respectthepetty]

Since I decided the best way to make it through Our Skyy 2 with minimal damage is to drink my way through it, welcome to the sixth round of

CockTails in the Skyy!

This week's drink is Deja Brew since we just saw this group six days ago:

dark coffee for our "tough" boss

vanilla brandy for the boss's babe

soy milk and ice for the men holding it together Tubtab and Jack

whipped cream and chocolate shavings for the disgustingly sweet Three and Zo

I don't like coffee, I didn't like the series, and I don't think I'll like this, but I like brandy, I'm obsessed with how Cher says "Boss" and anything that gets me more ThreeZo and Jack is worth watching.

Bottoms up!

What in the Tom, Dick, and Harry is happening?!

Call him honey, darling, or DADDY! <- Aoi gets it!

Cher feeding Gun who has a visible mustache shadow is hitting a sweet spot.

This is what upsets me - JimmySea and ForceBook have the domestic chemistry down. They excel at, yet had the wildest plots to work with. I hope Last Twilight and Only Friends do these men justice.

The yellow writing that keeps popping up is throwing me off.

Nice to see the wild ass color scheme is still going strong here, Reon!

The friend group is the reason I showed up every week!

Zo threatening his man while smiling is why I love him the most-est.

Cher made that imaginary intern very cute, but we all know Gun, who doesn't like skinship, would not touch that man like that.

Aoi getting more screen time this outing makes me upset that I didn't get MORE of her in the series. She was the best officemate.

I wonder how the office feels about Cher being ridiculous during office hours when he doesn't even work there. I'd be entertained, honestly, because I love other people's drama.

Okay, this is the tough boss I waited to see the entire series! Where was this jerk for twelve episodes?!

The entire office is really asking Cher to get his man together before they Julius Caesar his ass.

Cher constantly wearing Gun's colors is warming my ice cold heart.

I would love to believe that Gun doing 500 sit-ups is unrealistic, but then I remember Force's body-ody-ody and . . . do what you gotta do to maintain, sir.

I've written this before, but Force looks like a marble statue, and I need him to be in a BL about gym bros. Book can play the guy looking to get fit, and Force can be his trainer. Don't let those arm veins go to waste, GMMTV!

Gun is smiling like a ventriloquist, and it's creepy af.

Y'all, I'm really liking this installment. It's the Vice Versa one all over again. What are they going to do to eff this up?

Cher to Gun - "Are you finished or are you done?"

Why is everyone acting sus at this dinner?

I'm clutching my pearls that Cher's bright idea was to have Three and Zo fight.

I'm so conflicted. I want to be upset, but now Gun just gave Cher jewelry! Then Gun was cocky, and Cher slapped him on the ass. I like this.

The Deja Brew has too much caffeine and I feel my heart beating (I don't like reminders that I have a heart), so I'm gonna be a sober seahorse for the second episode. I'm already regretting this.

Moving into Cher's tiny apartment with this small tub thing instead of Gun's apartment with that huge ass tub was a dumb decision.

Every part of me hopes Gun acts just as amusing as Cher in the office.

Deadass, if I worked in this office with a boss whose boyfriend was this entertaining, I would be thriving. I would never have to drink another drop of water because these antics would keep me hydrated.

Jack has no fucks to give about this role-play situation unfolding during his billable hours.

Did this man have confetti in his pocket for this exact moment?! I'm telling you that I'd be living my best life in this office!

If I was that security guard, I would NOT have paid that 80 baht for Gun. Boss man does not need my hourly wage.

You'd be a custard apple or a pomegranate cause you're being extra! <-I'm using this because I love good commentary about *fruits*

I can't keep writing this, but I genuinely like this! Cher slamming his hand on the table and Gun immediately babying him. Urgh! I'm pleased!

This is giving me What's Wrong with Secretary Kim vibes.

Something keeps happening with the lighting to make the guys seem angelic, and I want to know what pressure the lighting department was under to make this work under these conditions.

I have been a vegetarian for over two decades, yet my meat-eating friends are the picky eaters, so I pop off like Gun just did every time I have to order them food. Why is the order so complicated?! Why three different places?!

Gun having printer and copier issues is the office drama I crave.

"That last sentence was lit." - GMMTV's translators deserve a raise.

Oh my gosh! WHERE IS PORSCHE?!

Aoi gets where I'm coming from. She is not going to let her boss and his boyfriend ruin her happiness. In fact, she embraces the chaos.

Cher is playing with Gun's face, and I'm going to fully admit that I liked this entire installment. They even exchanged colors!

The game idea is actually kinda okay-ish.

This role-playing unlocked a kink in Gun because now he wants to receive and give regularly-scheduled commands. Okay, sir, I see you.

Cher's shirt reads "Error Since Birth" and I LOVE IT!

I'm shocked and appalled about what I'm about to do. I thought I was going to be upset watching this, but I really enjoyed it. The color-coding (that I hated during the show) was consistent here unlike the other previous installments (Vice Versa, The Eclipse, and My School President), the repartee between Cher and Gun never missed, and their chemistry was good as usual. There was no Porsche, we didn't find out about Jack's previous relationship, and I'm pissed we didn't get THIS during the actual series, so . . .

8/10 CockTails for giving me most of what I wanted long after I wanted it.

Now, BRING ME MY SLUTS!

And before anyone asks, I'm in a long-term committed relationship with Pat's hair. That's how much I love it.

[real-levyanno]

I saw your account on wattpad and I wanted to ask why the actual eff do you think it's okay to give so many rare issues to your oc? A RARE colon cancer, a RARE heart issue, him being super young and having arthritis and scoliosis?

How the hell is he not dead because if I were him, I'd be dead. You legit went through googling rarest things to have as a kid and then applied them to your OC. And you wonder why you don't have followers

TW: mentions of attempted KYSing

I- honestly I laughed when I saw your ask. You say you know my wattpad but obviously you don't know my history or else you would know why Lukuro has so many things wrong with him

Lukuro is me

The rare colon cancer? Familial adenomatous polyposis (FAP). I had my colon removed at 13 years old because I inherited the disease from my dad and let me tell you, its not fun being rare. Literally I had to travel every summer to.find a doctor who knew what to do when looking for polyps on my colon, which have spread to my stomach. Had I waited to 14 to.have my colon removed, the polyps would have turned cancerous

The rare heart issue? Patent ductus arteriosus (PDA). I was born with a hole in my heart and had to have surgery to fix the hole. I can't have CPR or be resuscitated or else the coil in my heart will move. I grew up practically sleeping all the time and now being able to be a normal kid because of my heart

Scoliosis? Guess what, I have it. I have it and I also have a 6th lumbar. I'm only 18. You know how much pain I'm in because my spine is messed up? Of course you don't because you wouldn't be here not knowing the history of my OC. I can't lay down without being in pain from my spine. Scoliosis was also a nickname I had in high school. My friend Shawn would call me it just to mess with me

Arthritis? I was diagnosed a couple years ago with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis in my hands, knees, and ankles. I had to have a steroid shot in my right knee and left ankle. My doctor even said it was a good thing I took up cross stitch because it helped sooth the arthritis in my fingers

And to answer your question on how he's not dead? Because he's me. I have tried to overdose on pain killers because of all the shit I've had to go through and now I have a doctor who thinks there's an issue with my gallbladder. You don't know anything about me or the life I live. You don't know how.many times I woke up in the morning wishing I was dead. I have anxiety attacks going to the hospital, I have a fear that the anesthesia won't work on me and instead I'll be paralysed while doctors poke and pride my body

You don't know how many times I've been called a liar about these issues. And to top it all off, people keep saying that I'm just "conditioned" into thinking I'm autistic or adhd. They refuse to believe that I have a genuine issue inside my mind the affects me because how the hell could a single kid be so fucked up?

So you tell me how the hell am I not dead? Because I would gladly be dead instead of suffering through this body that is slowly killing me

[theiloveyousong]

olive listens to the second act of falsettos for the first ever time on a plane very tired and slightly loopy: a liveblog (ish)

my not entertaining, very pathetic thoughts on falsettos. not proofread or edited for typos. read at your own risk.

okay before we begin let me preface by saying im finally just taking a bit to just LISTWN to this shit and trinas song emotionally destoryed me okay. okay

why is the first line just homosexuals. i mean yeah but still

oh this goes

weirdly happy though isnt this guy gonna die

BAR MITZVAH

YABADAVA THE EIGHTIES

ooh speed mode march of the falsettos

the lesbians!!

of course shes a shiksa

WHEEEEEEEEE! WOOOOOOO!

this gooooooes

oh its marvin

“two years” are you NORMAL now

good for trina

ezcept on tje jewish holidays

WHAT NO WHIZZER???

bring him back

HOMOSEXUALS

i wanna go to falsettoland except not really cuz ot would probs suck

yeah. grow tje fuck up

MARVIN. PLEASE.

wait how is he twelve and a half i had my bat mitzvah three months after turning 13

elaborate william finn.

jason stoooop butchering the hebrew. stooooop

im gonna give him a pass simply because ive heard worse

aww the tallit belssing. i think

WALKERMAN

“the last loving thinfh we’llprobably ever do together” noooo youre so emotionally intriguing aha

the whole things WHAT now man who i think matbe js whizzer but i cant tel marvin snd whizzer apart very well is that bad

good for fucking jason

this is my mom literally

hes gonna be a jewish adult

i cant tell wahts gping on (too zzzy)

omg a lesbian

“nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine” cordelia i love you but please do not do this. just have fucjing bagels you cant go weong with bagels

CONGA

so proud pf jason

i am NOT dxcited for when my brother starts bar mitzvah prep

this song is titled miracle of judaism it has to be good

oh hes being a little straightboy

invite none of them just be a frienless loser like i was lamoo

no i had like four people there

you are TWELVE. DUDE.

you’re not swinging a goth gf you are TWELVE YEARS OLD

oooh baseball

ooooh JEWOSH baseball

same maevin

marvin stop calling your sona pussy

oh eitght its the Eighties

jason cannot play baseball

baseball ⚾️ ooh empji ⚽️ 🏀 🏈

WHIZZER

go off trina. love her

of course he love sbaseball

the lesbians are silly

oh my god. middle aged man core. hes so fjcking pathetic

jason *not 2 fiture penny put photo of cat kn box head here. no service on this plane*

even bald he looks good

stop thinking about your gay love and focus on your fucking sun. loser

i would love to watch jason play badebll (loe?

h

me when i hit the ball

this bitch gets SIX parents at hsi baseball games and my brother gets my mom and me not paying attention because soccer is boring as sbit sorry soccer lovers who also follow penny dimeshee on timblr pkay im rabong RAMBING

me when im in falsettoland

mendel is so bad at his job

this bitch sucks ass.

disgrace to the name of caroline fr caroline abbott would NEVER do such a thing

reagan and pagan as a rhyme ks genius

STOP SLEEPING WORH YOUR BOSS?!??

trina. thag is NOT how you prnounce it

sorry what.

just qhitnyour FFUCKIGN job. you cant do it anyway 😊☺️☺️

god i love ❤️ emojis

wbat a shock marvins back with whizzer

trina be normal please 🙏 i love you

trina calm your shit

yeah why CANT u let goe

as spon as they said that i know everytknhg not gonna be alright

i watched like half of a short clip of this from tje tonies and then went to bed becaus eit was like ten pm and i sleep early because i am a loser if any lf you compare me to bakugo my hero academia i will actually cry anyway the clip was good they were #exercising wby dod i go pn thos tangent

charlotte!!!!!!!!

me when i stick a lightbulb up my ass

okay shes being self important

aww

was that the first eff bomb

what aee they laying

whizzer my man marvin has matured stip raggingi kn him!!!!!!!!!’

god

i cant see anything out this plane window its like 10 pm. past my bedtime

OOH i lvoe me a good musical motif

anyone here watchind minions the rise of gru and know what the FUUCK goes on in it my brothers watcing jt and im so confused

THAGS NOT. WOAAAAAAH

HE DID MATURE!!!!!!!!!!!! “i want it all” “all i want is you” CHARACTER DEVEIPMENT GO OFFFFFF!! i want to write an essay about this man

they gave us quinoa chocolace crunches on the plane

theyre in the coty? damn i would jot think that. they feel like sone sort of pseudo-idyllic suburban lifestyle bitches

REPEATED LYRICS. AHHHHHHHH

Damn this shit is long

this sonf is incorrect i do not hate my parents

thag wasnt funny

jadon. honey. you are so lucky your parendes dotn involve you in bar mitzvah prep. do you want to pick out tablecloth swatches

jaosn i feel like you’re misunderstanding the purpace of the bar mitzvab

what kinda a name ks apple bum

SAUL

better call sa- he WHAT???? HWTA????? HIH????? WH?????? REELING

HE HAS PAITBJNGD OF WHAT NOW???????????????????????

matbe i should have done this while lucid

gonna take a wuick pause sk i can play shitty united app games

okay i got a high score of 0. om back

HE DOESNT yeah i thoight that

what the fuck was that mendel is thag ilatian. we are JEWISH. why did you top it off with dayeinu.

i did bate my paewnts at 12

jason dont you want to be counted in a minyan….

it is not in the torah

god did not say thag

sigh

jason do the fuckingn bar mitzvah.

HELP

even ykkur wife knows you cand do your hob correctly mendel…

one hour left onthe flogh ti can do this

can mtbrother turn his screen birghtness fown

sorry marvinim sore your love os wuite sweet but im gonan catch about four min of sbuteye

“try to stay both kind and young” okah thats powerful

okay marvin. good love ballad.

OH NO.

OH NOOOOOOOOOOO

“something so bad that words have lost their meaning”

whizzer soumds so tired

MARVIN. god i love him

everything is not gonna be alright

oh and now trjnas gonna make me sob

YEAH. 🤧😿

i have things to say about the repetition of everything will be alright and they will be said. eventually

“hahaha… not funny… okay”

gonna bawl my eyes out

“gefiltee fish” “gefilte fish?”

i need to watch this on stage

god he’s just a KID!!!

im not crying you’re crying

the fucking. camaderie.

i am crying on the plane and im trying not to be weird about it

JASON.

heart breaking

i am getting tje implications here bit the thing is i dont like the implications

ive heard this song on character playlists o think

points i SAW THAG LYRIC IN A COMPARISON TO WOE IS ME!!!

i just know jason bar mitzvahs gonna kill me

he brought tje prayer shawl!!

yeah this si. augh. making the best out of a horrible situation <333

would this ever work logistically? no. where is the rabbi? where is the torsh? but emotionally? i am crying my eyes out as i drscend over salt lake city utsh and im not even ahsmwed

MARVIN. GOD. im a marvin fan now not ashamed

they are NOT doing this bar mitzvah right

thats not an actual parshah. or actual trope. i need to stop pointing out inconsisternces

🤧🤧🤧 MARVIIIIIIIN.

ID LIKERO BELIEVE THAT ID DO OT AGAIN AND AGAIN AGAIN:(

waiteajtwait dont they say that thing in this has better come to a stop. OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

like wine

WERE JUST GONNA SKIP THAT STAGE.

there ar no word sor emojis that can express th e utter fucking heartbreak im going through rn

OH GOD ITS OVER.

PLEASE. PLEASE. PYU CANT DO THIS TO ME.

A REPRISE??? AS A FUCKING FINALE????

whoo boy.

—

hi its airport olive. thanks for getting this far! if you read this all you’re now legally obligated to marry me!

[flannelepicurean]

Had a dream that I was watching an episode of Cobra Kai, in a timeline where Johnny and Kreese were working together for real, because they'd...I dunno, gone to family counseling and patched things up, and also I guess Johnny finally stumbled onto the right part of the internet and rolled up one day and was like, "Hey, have you heard about this new 'toxic masculinity' thing?" And Kreese was like, "Are you gonna try and sell me a juice cleanse? Because I already know about multi-level marketing."

They had also become fairly positive and reliable male presences in Robby's life, and Johnny was more or less his full-time Dad, and Kreese was his almost-kinda granddad-figure, although both Johnny and Robby were kinda weird and ambiguous on that point.

Anyhow, they were doing...something???...not exactly above-board in Europe that had them temporarily based in Portugal, and they had snuck into Spain for a couple days to do something. They got into a big fight, OF COURSE, and were able to karate their way back out, but the heat was gettin' too hot, and they decided to haul ass back to the U.S., but they had to go back to Portugal to get their stashed stuff. But they'd lost their gear in Spain, including their papers, and Robby had gotten knocked the fuck out, so Johnny and Kreese were tryna figure out how to sneak their way across the Portuguese border and back to their hotel.

The plot they'd cooked up was that, for some reason, they were gonna pretend that Kreese was Robby's dad (I guess because they needed to throw people off of their actual identities, and they thought that would help???), and Johnny was...relationship unclear. But the border situation was, incomprehensibly, kind of an outdoor pavilion on a beach, and the guy interviewing them at a little table with an umbrella over it, while they jointly supported a very unconscious Robby, was Rufus from Supernatural.

Now, Rufus knew who they were. They had, in fact, worked with Rufus peripherally on whatever thing they were doing that was not exactly above-board, or he at least would look the other way about it. But they all had to be super careful, lest they tip off the authorities.

So they're in a real pickle. And they all know it. And Rufus is giving them his best bureaucratic box-ticking act while also giving them the death-glare of, "Guys, you have screwed the pooch, tread carefully, don't eff this up, I like this job." And Kreese is kinda sitting back, stoically monitoring Robby to make sure he's not freakin' dying, because he's been unconscious for an alarming amount of time at this point, and Johnny's motor-mouthing away, getting increasingly nervous, because he knows they're being monitored in some way other than just Rufus.

And he slips up. Invents a surname for Robby, without being prompted. And Rufus just kind of gently squinches his eyes shut and informs him that, well, since he's naming names now, it's mandatory that he call it in and run checks on all three of them. But GOSH, THAT KID SURE LOOKS CONCUSSED. SERIOUS BUSINESS, THAT. IF HE WOKE UP FOR EVEN A MINUTE OR TWO AND GAVE AN INDICATION THAT HE NEEDED AND WANTED MEDICAL ATTENTION, THEY'D BE LEGALLY REQUIRED TO ESCORT HIM AND A CAREGIVER TO A MEDICAL STATION. SEEING AS RUFUS CAN'T TELL IF HE'S A MINOR, WITHOUT HIS PAPERS, AND ALL. And it could take him a while to run the background checks, system gets jammed up all the time, slow-ass government computers, filing system shot to hell, oh goodness...

And they do manage to get Robby conscious again, and explain the gist of what's going on, and he's like, "Wut? Y'all are fucking stupid, WTF..." And Johnny's like, "WE KNOW!" and Kreese is like, "Who do you mean, 'we?'" and Johnny's like, "That's beside the point! Can you act concussed? Like, tell 'em you're confused or nauseous or something?" And Robby's like, "I actually do legit feel like I'm gonna throw up, though..." And Johnny's like, "OKAY, WE GOT IT! Holy shit, sorry kid, legitimate emergency, we're gonna get you outta here, it's gonna be okay. EXCUSE ME? AGENT SINGER? SIR???" And Rufus is like, "You rang?"

They did make it into and then outta Portugal, I'm pretty sure. And Robby was fine later.

[angrenwen]

"Batman pirouettes away in a panic. They don’t see him until the next official league meeting. He is extremely tight lipped about his ‘child,’ and even though a few leaguers have gone to visit Nightwing since, he just keeps saying, “no, I’m not ruining this. This is the best entertainment I’ve had in years.”

  For a few minutes, they think they’ve resolved the mystery when mission leads them to a population-dense city where some dude is running around picking off a startling number of rumored-to-be-corrupt politicians and some other people. It’s not the thing they’d usually go for, but hey, it’s been a slow week. Slow weeks are good, but no excuse to slack.

  They get their first good look at the perp when they corner the guy, and as tricky as it is to accomplish, it feels like it should have been simpler since the one causing all the havoc turns out to be this gangly older-teen in a red helmet?

  A gangly older teen in a red helmet who takes one look at Batman and just goes, “Oh my god. Oh my g o d. oh my fuckin god you’re kidding me what the eff Bruce oh mY goD--”

  Batman just quietly buries his head in his hands and growls out a no, and in the middle of the subsequent (one-sided) shouting match, the League gets the vague idea that somehow the assassin and Batman are related.

  Flash throws an arm over Batman’s shoulder and tries to be consoling, like, “Hey, man, I get why you didn’t want to talk about your kids. It must be rough knowing one of them’s gone and become a weird violent vigilante, but we’re not gonna judge you for something like that and we’re not gonna shun you or anything, okay?”

  But Red Hood hears and pauses mid-shout to add, “oh my god he didn’t tell you about us??? O hmy god bruce. Wwow. Wow. The others are gonna be so offended. WOW.”

  Batman growls out a “they are happy I am socializing” and after that, Red Hood stops shouting, but is too busy cackling to clarify

  Which is nothing compared to the girl in purple, who starts absolutely busting a lung when they float onto Gotham’s northern docks after a fiasco out at sea leaves Gotham the closest unoccupied harbor. Apparently, Batman wasn’t the only Gothamite suspicious of metahumans, because this purple girl just shows up out of nowhere and lands a solid one on Hawkgirl before anyone even knows what’s happened??

  And then this kid in red shows up just flipping his shit and going “No, wait, that’s the Justice League! Oh my god, you just punched Hawkgirl!”

Even though the response is, “yes, I kind of noticed that, Timborie!” a moment later, both teenagers are clearly visible, flailing some, and rapidly apologizing. They’re scrawny, well-outfitted, but very clearly young. Wonder Woman is impressed at the Spoiler’s fire, though, and commends her.

  “Are you both new heroes? Your skills are already quite impressive,” she says, looking over the two. They don’t really look like much, and they’re clearly fairly uncomfortable under scrutiny, so, feeling merciful, Wonder Woman turns to the only other person present who would be able to answer her questions—after all, Batman apparently knows everything that goes on in Gotham.

  Except Martian Manhunter is looking at Batman the same way he does when Batman is radiating mental discomfort so hard it can’t be ignored.

  “Oh no,” says Green Lantern. “Don’t tell me—”

  The teenager in red coughs into his hand. “Uh. Yeah. Hi, Dad. Glad to see you’ve made some more friends.”

  (That’s when Spoiler starts laughing.)

  Later that same night, as the league is leaving over Gotham’s rooftops, they spot a completely dark figure dancing among the rooftops, who pauses just long enough to give a gleeful wave. Batman gives a hesitant one back. It seems to be more than enough. She absolutely bounces, dives down into an alley, and resurfaces after three thugs and a drug dealer have been left out on the street corner for pickup.

  “So,” Green Arrow says, sidling next to Batman.

  Batman is already fleeing before anything else can be said.

  “They were teenagers,” Superman says later on the watchtower, hands outstretched and making a face like these must be the newest. “He can’t have been training them for that long.”

  There’s something of a murmur of acknowledgement, but no one really seems all that comfortable with anything, and Green Arrow says something about “I just want to know where they’re coming from. Termites?”

  “Right out of the woodwork,” Green Lantern agrees, nodding.

  Aquaman is a little unnerved that Batman’s apparently hidden this many children/apprentices from them. Hawkgirl gives a thumbs-up, though. She’s not speaking unless necessary, because her jaw is still bruised and being nursed with an ice pack, but she’s still giving a thumbs-up.

  Flash, on the other hand, makes sure everyone knows he thinks it’s the cutest thing that’s ever come out of Batman’s existence.

  “Imagine father’s day in the batcave,” he says.

  (He also makes everyone promise to not tell Batman he said that, just in case.)

  They keep on a lookout more often, now, even though they don’t honestly believe there will be any more surprise introductions. They’re just waiting, because at this point it’s almost become a running joke, but even waiting for it to happen doesn’t nearly prepare them for the first time Batman finally allows the League into his cave—a cavern filled with at least a decade’s worth of crime fighting history already displayed in the form of old, tattered uniforms, half of which are recognizable as belonging to the ‘new’ heroes they’ve recently encountered, all sitting alongside trophies from particularly grand fights, a fully functioning medical station next to the garage, and a computer the size of a small car.

  Batman is halfway working up the courage to give his real identity officially, and to buy him more time (because if Batman had to work up the courage, it was going to be worth the wait) they look around, most of them attracted to the bright screen of the computer— when the high-backed chair in front of it suddenly squeaks.

  Batman growls when he hears it.

  “Oh my god,” Flash says, hand flying to his mouth. “Please tell me—”

  At the same time, Green Arrow says, “No.”

  Because swiveling around in the bat-chair is a legitimate child, who doesn’t even come up to Martian Manhunter’s midsection, wearing bright, primary colors like half the costumes on display, and scowling to curdle milk.

  “Father,” the boy hisses. “who are these.”

  “How many children do you have?” Green Arrow says, falling to his knees. Green Lantern shakes his head in disbelief.

  Superman puts his hand on Batman’s shoulder. “Batman, I admire you a lot. But I think you have a problem.”

  Batman sends his tiny son up to bed. The boy refuses to go. He challenges Wonder Woman to a duel. Batman is probably crying underneath his cowl.

  That’s when the butler shows up and asks if it’s a bad time to mention that all the other kids are upstairs waiting for him to formally introduce them to his friends."

AU where the Justice League forms like usual, except Batman maintained his “totally a myth” status and has in fact been active for years before the JL forms. He’s very cautious about trusting them, but still joins, and the others sort of accepts that as long as they trust that Batman has a really hard time with trust, it will all work out in its own weird way

Then, one day, in the middle of a JL mission, the League gets in a tight spot. Out of nowhere, this blue and black blur swoops in and saves everyone’s ass. Maybe breaking some shackles that were proving very difficult, maybe disarm a bomb that the League was just a hair’s breadth too slow to reach without help, but whatever happens, the shadowy figure pauses just long enough to say, “Hey, Batman, you know you there are these things called cellphones now and you can just call sometimes, it doesn’t have to be this dramatic?” and bounds away after shouting ‘let’s do brunch! Bring your new friends!’

Batman is mortified.

No one lets it go.

The entire rest of the mission, the whole League is asking so many questions. Who was that? Do you know him? How do you know him? What’s going on? I didn’t know there was a vigilante in this area?? They don’t let up until he talks.

“That was Nightwing.” Batman is mumbling. The JL forces him to bring them to the Brunch. Brunch happens to be in a run-down apartment on the edge of a bad neighborhood, at five in the morning, in costume. Nightwing introduces himself as Batman’s lovechild with justice.

“I did not realize Batman had a child,” Martian Manhunter says, calmly enough that no one’s sure if he’s accidentally plucking a really loud thought out of the air or if he’s trying to make a joke.

Nightwing stares for a moment falling over laughing. He doesn’t get up. Batman starts trying to apply anti-Joker venom but Nightwing just kicks him and laughs until he cries. He keeps trying to wipe his eyes and his mask keeps getting in the way, so he asks everyone to leave so he can please get a hold of himself

He is still laughing when they leave. Everyone is confused. Batman is furious.  Nightwing manages to breathe long enough to say, “We’re just so glad you’re socializing now, Batman.”

Superman turns to look at Batman very slowly. “…’we’?”

Keep reading

[daisies-and-depression]

11/12/2024

It’s been a minute. hopped up on anti anxiety meds, I want to write. I want to warn. I want to let my thoughts out of my head, to roam freely. I want normality, I’ve never known her; normality, how does one find her? 2024 is coming to a close and it’s safe to say that this year, has been the worst year of my life. just when you think you’re strong enough, life takes someone out of your story with snap of a finger. life is fucking cunt. I lost my papa in July. I keep going back and forth knowing he’s in heaven and being content with that but then my mind wanders, is there a heaven? I honestly don’t even fucking care anymore. I’ve learned a bit this year about people, ha, people people people, unless you’re related to a person, you truly cannot trust another human. humans are cruel, mean, liars, takers! I decided to let it go, I don’t go reach for “people” anymore, I reach for a stronger version of myself, becos people ain’t gonna do shit for ya! And yknow, I’m not that much stronger - I’ve reached down into myself and I find nothing - a heart, solely beating so to keep me alive, a brain, just to process daily duties, not thoughts or emotions, a pair of lungs, keeping me breathing but just that. I am my body, I am my body without emotions. I am my body without care. I am my body without expectations. and yet, after a 35ish minute anxiety attack, I lay alone in my bed, my mother here when it started, leapt out when she found a chance. A father who has to take control of the reigns via iMessage becos he’s working. I’ve come to the conclusion, that, at some point in your life, you get to a point where you don’t need your parents anymore, for anything… that, I will never know; I need my parents for everything, to help with the debilitating pain of depression and anxiety, I need something that you can’t find in a pharmacy though, I need love. I need love from my family. I don’t get much love from my family. every time I call myself a burden, they always flock to my side with their coo’s of “oh no no no” but when I’m mid anxiety attack, can’t talk can’t walk, and my mother is in another room where she can clearly hear me, radio static. I’m tired. I’m tired of being the “stay here on earth with us and be happy” when in reality, I’m more so the fucked up cousin on anti psychotics, who has been suffering with depression since she was 9. I’M SO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING THAT PERSON - I’M SO FUCKING SICK OF HURTING MYSELF ON THE OUTSIDE TO KILL WHATS ON THE INSIDE - I DESERVE TO SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, “KILL ME” - I DESERVE DEATH - I WANT DEATH - I NEED IT, I AM A BURDEN TO MYSELF AND EVERYONE AROUND ME!!!

I wish I still had blades. I wish I could be true to what I tell my therapist whom I absolutely love - I want to die, I do. becos nobody in this world hates me like I do. becos I know my weakness lays inside of a craft store on aisle 8, “sewing blades” - I want it back. I want my life back. I want to be young again and feel like I have forever.

But, forever came and went. she never stayed long enough for me to get used to. So I sit, and I play “content” I play “meek” and “unbothered” but I’m not content, fuck being meek and I am indeed, bothered.

I want to take that clean ass beautiful blade, press hard enough onto my arm and drag slowly, letting out whimpers of what my depression sounds like from the inside. muffled sobs as that thick stream of blood streams down my arm. the feeling, ugh the feeling of feeling nothing, numbness, yet the feeling of, it hurts so good. I want back MY coping skills - if you want me to stay here on earth, let me do what I need to be okay, you are not my body, you are not my mind, so you do not get to tell me “don’t hurt yourself” eff off “that’s a short term coping skill” fuck you “you don’t need to cut” YES THE FUCK I DO!

YES! THE! FUCK! I! DO!

Fucking leave me alone and worry about yourself since worrying about me has been such a stressor and a chore for you. Fuck you. Fuck all of you who have sat by and stared the depression down the barrel, to who said something and got me into trouble, to who “cares” YOU DON’T FUCKING CARE! YOU NEVER FUCKING DID!

fuck -