#it's ok it takes me less time to listen to music than watch a show. this is possible and true

[fallingsatellive]

Hm, I really need to get to bed, so I definitely don't have time for a full 20 minute episode of this show. Well anyway time to listen to this entire 42 minute concept album

[klausysworld]

Not sure if you have written anything like this, but could you do something where Klaus is into reader and she doesn’t give him the time of day, he try’s to win her over by giving readers expensive gifts but she’s not impressed. Klaus overhears reader and a friend talking and she saids how she’s a simple woman, good food, good beer, good music is all she needs.

A narcissistic white man with anger issues?

(third person)

Klaus had been trying his very best to impress this girl. He had gone to all sorts of lengths. Thousands spent of jewellery: necklaces, bracelets, rings, earnings, anklets, hair accessories, anything. He bought clothes of the finest material: dresses, jumpers, jeans, skirts, tops, sweats, anything he could find. He would ask for her to go out with him: “we could go to dinner? I know this lovely restaurant up town” but she would deny his advances. “come ok now love, my family are throwing a gala, i’ll provide everything for you to wear, just show up” but once again she did not. “an art exhibit?” no. “wine tasting?” nope. “i could take you to Paris?” nah. “Italy is nice this time of year” i’m alright.

Let’s say he was getting frustrated. He could hand her the keys to house made of solid gold and she wouldn’t care.

He became a little obsessive, new things at her door everyday, he’d stand by watching for her reaction, the shrug she gave as you looked over his gift before rolling her eyes and inevitably dropping it back off at his house with a note saying “stop trying so hard” which to him meant that he wasn’t trying hard enough.

The one thing she did keep were the sweatpants and a jumper. He found it odd, she also kept some of the chocolates but not all of them, it was like the more money he spent the less she wanted him, and he was getting upset.

People loved money, he’d watched wars start over it and people die because of it, what was her deal?

So he followed her a little bit, for research purposes of course. And he managed to hear a very useful conversation

———————————————————————

(first person)

I was out with my friends down in the streets of New Orleans, we were making our way through the stalls while drinking our pints. There was some sort of festival going on so it was pretty crowded, we decided to go for it and dress up like hippies and raid the different free samples they were giving out at the stalls.

A few hours in we were sat in camping chairs in the middle of the street listening to the bands play their music, just past tipsy and passing round a blunt between the four of us

“this was fun, we haven’t gone out in a while” my best friend, just the one i was naturally closest to said quietly while looking at me, i nodded with a smile

“yep it’s been some time” i laughed leaning back in my chair

“surprised you still enjoy these simple outings, your pretty boyfriend still buying you a million jewels?“ we both giggled at that and i sipped my drink

“oh yea, he has not stopped, i get something everyday and everyday i bring it back”

“damn i wish someone would spend that kinda shit on me” she laughed

“he’s sweet but he’s also a little bit of a narcissist” i told her and she rolled her eyes

“what so he’s in love with himself? who cares he’s got cash”

“oh my gosh you’re right i should just marry him right now” i gasped dramatically

“yea yea i know you don’t want a super fancy life with a mansion and pool”

“i wouldn’t mind a pool”

“you’re funny” she mumbled sarcastic and i mimicked her

“leave me be” i muttered slapping her hand away when she went to take my drink from my hand

“i just don’t get it, the guy won’t take a hint?” she asked

“a hint? i’ve straight up told him to shove it” i laughed

“is he stupid?” she asked while giggling loudly, okay so maybe we drank a little more than i thought

“he’s a privileged white man with anger issues” we were absolutely pissing ourselves over nothing

“okay okay, so would you like ever go out with him?” she asked once calmed down

“i dunno, he’s alright”

“he’s hot” she responded

“he is, he’s also kinda funny sometimes”

“he had a good accent” she muttered nodding her head making me nod too

“he seems to genuinely like me” i pointed out

“that’s true, he’s quite nice actually, he hasn’t done or said anything offensive that i know of”

“no i don’t think so” i muttered while trying to think

“has he ever commented on money situations?” she asked

“mmm no… i don’t think so? he knows he has money, very self aware of that but i know that they give money to charity through their galas and stuff, last time they literally raised like millions and gave it to kids with diseases, like he’s good, you know?”

“mm i say try it, like he’s gotta good heart, right intentions and i’m sure if you go out with him once and then tell him you don’t want to he should quit”

“i don’t want to have to sit in a restaurant filled with snobs that turn their noses up because the flavour is just a tiny bit off, i think you need an extra sprinkle of seasoning no? Like no, literally just put some salt on it”

“i like salt” she murmured

“me too” i nodded

———————————————————————

(third person)

klaus was stood blankly listening to her conversation, he was a narcissistic white man with anger issues, a hot accent and he was funny…sometimes.

He thought it over a little before returning home, his siblings all eyed him suspiciously as he walked with purpose and a determined expression

“oh dear we’re all going to die” Kol muttered while hugging his knees, Rebekah slapped him up the side of the head

“shut up, you’ll give him ideas” she whispered

“both of you remain quiet, he hasn’t headed for the daggers…he’s in his art room” Elijah stated as he listened closely

“so he’s feeling artistic stop worrying” Freya mumbled with a wave of her hand in dismissal

“this is about the girl” Elijah smiled slightly to himself

“the one that told him to piss off?” Kol asked and Rebekah hit him again

“shut-up he can literally hear you” she growled

“oh come on he’s been chasing her for bloody months, i know he likes a chase but it’s getting pathetic” Kol whispered harshly back at her

“he loves her” Freya spoke into his book

“he might just” Elijah murmured

———————————————————————

(first person)

i woke up early afternoon, i made my way downstairs still wrapped in my duvet and opened my front door and yet for the first time in ages there was no present, i frowned slightly, not because i wanted another priceless gift but because it was odd that he hadn’t left me something, was something wrong? was he hurt? Quickly i pulled my phone out and rang his number

“love? is everything okay?” oh thank fuck he was alive

“yes, sorry i’m fine…are you okay?” i asked while closing the door and rubbing my temples

“i’m quite alright, i was actually going to ask if i could see you today… or another day if you’re busy”

“sure come on down, its already like 2pm so i have no plans” i could hear tapping on the other side, probably his fingers on his desk, he does it sometimes when he’s nervous.

“okay…i’ll get there in half an hour?”

“see you then”

Klaus arrived exactly 30 minutes later with a singular red rose and a nervous look in his eye

“please don’t give it back” he whispered and i smiled taking it from his hand

“i’ll keep it” i promised and he smiled back at me

“would you like to come inside?” i asked opening the door wide enough

That afternoon/into evening we spoke about various topics, our families, our pasts, our hopes for the future, ideas, dreams, aspirations. He showed me his art and i asked why i never received this as a present instead, he said he though that id judge him and i told him that he was being silly.

We planned to go out for coffee/tea instead of a top class Italian restaurant, and from there we spent much more time together.

[gojos-thot-patrol]

In the Valentine spirit, could you do boyfriend HCs for the jjk men? Thanks 💜

oh, ABSOLUTELY I CAN this is like my bread and butter!!

Now Presenting...

Starring Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Kento Nanami, and Ryomen Sukuna.

Satoru Gojo

The Fool

Listen, you can not convince me Gojo isn't all about PDA

He wants everyone to know that you're his and he's yours.

He shows his love by giving you sweets

"But none of them are as sweet as you, Dear"

Did I meantion this man is cheesey as fuck?

His ideal date is staying at home with you and watching a movie, because honestly, it's one of the few times he can truly relax.

10000% the type of boyfriend that wants to spoil you more than anything else...mostly because he's not sure how to be a good boyfriend outside of that.

He's honestly fairly new to romance. He's only had one other romantic partner in his life, and that ended far less than ideal.

So, he's learning how to love you while also just learning how to love in general.

But, he's excited to learn!

he fully beleieves you desrve only the best in everything, and that includes boyfriends,

Meaning he's not scared to ask you how he can do better.

Also meaning he's not quick to share his emotions. He doesn't want to inconvinence you with them.

Or worse, shatter your image of him. He is supposed to be the strongest after all. Everyone loves him for his strength.

Except for you, probably the only person that sees him for him.

It may take some time and coaxing, but once he knows how he fells (Cause lets be real here, hes not the most emotionally intelligent) he'll try his best to explain to you.

please be patient with him, he's bad at this.

It's a big deal for him that you and Megumi at least get along. As far as he's concerned, Megumi is his son and his son has to come first.

Luckily for you both Megumi takes to you as well as his tsundere ass can.

He's the first one to ask you to make it offical, but waits for you to say "I Love You" first.

Mostly because that phrase scares the shit out of him. Theres no curse more powerful than love, and honestly he would have rather avoided it.

But you were inevitable. He knew it from the first time he laid eyes on you, you were going to be the death of him.

Metaphorically.

he hoped.

Suguru Geto

The Lovers

OK, first things first, his favorite thing is to show you new music.

Not too long after you had stated dating, he promised you he as going to show you all the good music the world had to offer and he ment it.

Honestly he surprised you with his range. anything from Heavy Metal, to Folk Punk, to R&B to Pop, to fucking country, if he could vibe with it, it hit his playlist.

All about words of affection. He's constantly telling you how beautiful you are, how smart you are, how powerful of a sorcerer you are, he won't shut up about how amazing you are.

Not typically one for PDA, unless he thinks someone else is hitting on you.

Then it's like he's been suddenly glued to you.

He's very much the silent jealous type. He'll never straight up ask you "So who the fuck was that?" He's more prone to passive aggressive comments.

"I'm just saying, you two seem really close." type shit.

He covers you in very visible hickys and is very quick to "lend" you his jacket for this reason. He want's to make it very clear that you're his.

His ideal date is an underground concert. He always knows where the best ones are.

The energy of a concert is intoxicating to him, and the effect is doubled when you're around.

It's one of the few places where he'll actively take part in PDA without having to be jealous first.

He's normally pretty Stoic. He jokes around yea, but he's never vunerable in public.

The only place you see his walls come down is when you're alone together.

It's a visible change too, you can see the tired flood his eyes as he collapses in your arms.

You were the first person to notice when he started to grow cold to Jujutsu Society, and the last to know when his betrayl finally took place.

As much as it made you sick to your stomach to admit, you weren't surprised at all. a darkness had been growing in him for a long time.

He spoke all the time about how unfairly society treated sorcerers, and he spoke with such passion, you often found yourself almost convinced by it.

Almost. you we're always able to bring yourself back to reality one way or another.

That was until he came back for you.

He was just as sweet as he always was, pouring affection over you.

how he tried so hard to move on, but he couldn't rebuild without you. No matter what he did, his soul called out for you.

"Please, Y/n, I need you. come back with me?"

Nanami Kento

The Hierophant

Ok, so hear me out. I actually think Nanami has had a few relationships before.

They all ended amicably, He didn't have the time for petty mind games as a teenager, he damn sure didn't have the time for them as adult.

So, he has quite a bit of experience in making things work.

He's AMAZING at communication. He's clear, consice, and careful with his words.

Often times he's able to deesculate a fight before it even becomes one.

And if you're one of those people that will start a fight because you need drama (*cough* me. *cough*) he's quick to notice and shut it down.

"Are you really mad that I lost the remote, or is something else going on Darling? If you're mad that's ok, but I feel like theres a diffrent underlying issue here."

He loves cuddling. Its shocking and strange, I know, but he is touch starved.

Also, he loves kissing. It's one of his favorite things to do, espically with you.

His favorite dates are when he takes you to a facny resteraunt for dinner.

He loves watching you get all dolled up, and he'd be lying if he said it wasn't a nice little ego boost to walk in with you on his arm.

Not even just that, he loves taking care of you in anyway he can. So feeding you the finest foods? Top of his To-Do list every day.

While he loves to take you out, He loves staying home with you just as much.

Nanami is insanely good at Tekken, like God-Teir, this is not up for debate.

Really, he's good at all fighting games, but his favorite is Tekken.

And he loves to play with his SO. you're not that good at video games? He's willing to teach you if you're willing to learn.

One of his favorite date night activities is having you be on mic while he plays some online matches. It's hilarious to watch his opponent get a big head, 100000% sure theyre going to own this soft spoken ninny just to get absolutely BODIED by Nanami.

He tries to make it through movie nights. He tries so hard. but he passes out, every. single. time.

even if he really likes the movie! He just can't bring himself to stay awake.

He'll always try for you though. He would do anything for you.

Ryomen Sukuna

The Devil

Listen to me reader, LISTEN TO ME: you may see his charming smile and his oddly puppy-dog like eyes and think "OH, come on! how bad could this guy be? He's so cute!"

That is the Devil talking.

I am Sukunas number 1 cumslut and I can tell you from personal experience he is The Worst™.

For one, he's cold as fuck. Even if he is head over heels in love with you, he's too emotionally closed off to ever fucking admit it.

His heart could be doing acrobatics in his chest when you're around, his palms sweating like crazy and his sight suddenly switching to Shojo vision when he's looking at you and he would STILL have you convinced he hated your guts.

Hell, he'd honestly be even meanier to you just so no one suspects his true feelings.

But, once again, you are inevitable and there's no escaping you.

But dont start thinking you're going to get a date or even a talk. Nay nay dear reader.

He just kinda decided at somepoint that you we're dating now. You had no say in it, and didn't even know until he caught you flirting with someone that wasn't him and almost ripped their fuckin head off.

Yandere. I will not explain, nor do I need to. Look at him.

He's hiding you away in his temple and never letting you go.

Which, could be worse. That temple is decadent as FUCK

If you do manage to endure him long enough though, I do think he'd let his soft side slip.

Sukunas love is quiet. It's not showering you in gifts or words of affermation. He's honestly not sure how to do that.

It's quietly holding you in the night, pulling you just a little bit tighter when the nightmares start to make you stir.

It's letting you quietly lay on his chest, tracing his markings, letting you get close enough to his heart and neck to kill him.

It's sitting with you while you read in the garden, secretly reading over your shoulder incase you wanted to talk about it later.

Sukunas love isn't shown in grand gestures, it's shown in his lack of violence. it him quitely, without either of you even realizing, letting his walls down around you.

He's never going to talk about his emotions, ew gross. That would make him weak.

What he would do is pull you into a bath with him, or into the bed, or somewhere else safe and comfrotble, and ask you to talk about your day.

Listening to your voice calms him down, and you know you've helped because when youre done talking about whatever, he quietly thanks you.

He has killed to "protect" you, and would die to atually protect you.

Once you've wormed your way into his heart, theres no leaving. he's obessed and even if you manage to get away one day, he's never getting over you.

[shigayokagayama]

Uh Oh I Thought About The Music In The Finale Too Hard And It Started Bothering Me Again

ok so aside from one of my favorite scenes in the entirety of mob psycho getting cut from the last episode, a decision which will haunt and torment me until my dying days, my biggest issue with the last episode was always the music and i think ive been able to finally pin down a coherent explanation as to why

disclaimer: i am not a music expert. i was in choir in middle school and i like listening to people who actually know about music talk about music, but this is not a professional opinion so take it with a grain of salt

so first, 99 playing during reigen running towards mob. my problem with this is less the song choice and more that the anime decided to completely change the tone of the entire scene. like, 99 works perfectly for the hype exciting scene they were trying to create! i just dont think this scene should have been hype and exciting. this isn’t a “music is tonally inconsistent” problem so much as a “tone is inconsistent with events unfolding” problem so im not going to put much focus on it.

what IS tonally inconsistent though is the next track that plays after it (timestamped)

this scene is supposed to be not just the reveal that reigen is okay but the reveal that dimple, a character who we’ve spent the last six episode thinking was dead, is alive! and the music they chose is so... sinister??? wouldn’t something more triumphant or energetic fit here??? i get that it has to segway into a really emotional song next so it can’t be too upbeat but wouldnt something like this maybe fit better??? it’s another song associated with dimple possessing someone who isn’t especially powerful to let them achieve something they normally wouldn’t, it’s pretty dramatic, it’s exciting, it has kind of an emotional through line in the back of it with the violins???

the next song is perfect. no notes. the second i heard it in the mob character trailer before season 3 dropped i was like “oh theyre going to use that for reigen’s confession” and i was 100% right. in fact, this song being so perfect for this scene is what makes the next song choice so confusing.

huh? what? why???? on the elementary school level of “well this is labelled mob’s theme and this is mob’s moment of self acceptance so it has to go here” i can maybe understand but it is the most jarring tonal whiplash i have ever felt watching a television show. this is music that we normally here when mob is fighting an enemy, this is supposed to gear us up for conflict. it does not fit the bittersweet catharsis of mob accepting his whole self at all.

ive seen two different edits with different soundtracks i prefer, one with “Passing my heart, I'm getting bigger” (at least im pretty sure thats what its called?  すれ違う心・大きくなったなぁ?) and one with “Mob’s Kindness”. personally, i feel like mob’s kindness would be the best option. for one, one of them already played at an emotionally climactic moment during the final episode last season so it might be a bit weird to do it a second time. second, for when we last heard “mob’s kindness” it actually fits really well with this scene on a couple different levels.

just the title of the song on its own fits with the scene. it’s the first time mob really extends kindness towards himself rather than trying to repress it or smother it in guilt and self loathing. we also have to consider the last place it was used and how that echos this scene. the first time we hear mob’s kindness is in season 2 episode 1, following the line “i made the decision to consider my feelings more”, a line which fits really well with what the “100% shigeo kageyama” moment is trying to get across. “shigeo kageyama” is mob’s repressed power and, more relevantly, his repressed emotions that he’s been bottling up for years now. “mob” flaking apart and forming “shigeo” also kind of visually echos emi’s novel getting ripped apart and brought together again by mob’s power, so that’s another little mirror between these two scenes. mob putting emi’s novel back together is the first time we see him using his powers for another person, not to save them from any sort of threat, but just as an act of simple kindness. it’s the beginning of a realization he has during the mogami arc, these powers arent just a burden, he can use them to help people. and he doesn’t even need to limit it to that, he can just use them to express himself and have fun because they aren’t just tools that can be used, they’re a part of him.

[heymeowmao]

2024.06.28 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321325050344135590145

bgm: 唯一的回答 (No Matter), Men in Love OST

LYN: It’s lagging? If it’s lagging, close the window then come back in. It’ll probably be fixed, then. LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening. I am Modern Brothers Liu Yuning. Welcome! LYN: Long time no see. I haven’t streamed for a long time, right? Actually I am a little tired today, but I still wanted to come stream, more or less, and to give you some comfort. 

C: Have you recovered from your cold yet? LYN: I was over it a long time ago! I was sick a while ago, but I’m fine now. Is the nasal tone too heavy? I’m just a little tired, but it’s okay. I’ve come to play. LYN: I need to keep up my KPI, otherwise I won’t have streamed all month. That’s a little inexcusable. I still have to stream. Just because I’m an actor and singer now, doesn’t mean that I can give up on streaming. I should at least keep my quota. LYN: I’m afraid that when the time comes Weibo won’t give me my Livestream King title. I’ll ask them, “Why was I passed up for the title of Livestream King this year?” and they will tell me, “You didn’t stream for the month of June.” There’d be nothing I could say to contest. So, since this title is mine, no one else should think of taking it away from me. ~There will come a day when I take back what’s mine. That’s right- the 2024 Weibo Livestream King (award)!”

bgm: 我只愿朝着光 (I Only Wish to Face the Light), BYOL OST

C: Is it raining daily in Hengdian? LYN: Not every day, but it’s the season for it so it starts to pour every so often. Lately I’ve been filming when it’s pouring rain, though. It comes and goes and comes and goes. It’s quite humid. C: Is it hot? LYN: Of course it is. Shooting a guzhuang drama in the summer is asking for punishment. Hot is one thing, but it’s also stuffy and humid. If you’re standing outside in those clothes, I guarantee that not even a minute later you’ll have sweated through the under layers. It’s that hot.

C: Lao-da, I’m still watching KSTLB. LYN: Ok. I took some time while I was eating to take a look, because I always watch the variety shows that I’ve taken part in. LYN: Friends- don’t spoil it! I’m sure there are quite a few who are watching my stream that still haven’t watched the 9th episode yet. You can’t expose my identity! Wouldn’t that negatively influence everyone’s viewing experience? If they haven’t finished watching or haven’t started yet, but already know the result, that will influence their enjoyment. It won’t be “fresh”. If you aren’t watching (or reading the spoiler comments) it’s okay.

C: I’m listening to YOLO. LYN: Very nice. Listen to what you want to listen to.

C: Pick up another variety show for later. LYN: It should be a music variety. I have a music variety for later, so I will still have a show. It’s about time for me to pick up a music variety, so.. Let’s just wait. LYN: I feel like I don’t have enough experience anymore. When I first debuted I was young(er) and full of energy. I didn’t care about a lot of things. But now I feel like my body can’t keep up. I can’t keep up, mentally. My brain is working much slower than it used to. I keep wondering- did I get dumber after having contracted Covid? I keep trying to find excuses for myself. After I got Covid, I became stupider and it feels like I can never get enough sleep. It’s been a long time since I recovered from it, but I still feel slow. C: You’re getting older. LYN: Did you think that could hurt me? Let me tell you- I am hurt. /laughs/ No, I’m sure it has something to do with my age. Your Ning-ge- /coughs, old man mode activated/- Your Ning-ge is getting old. I’m not the young boy I used to be. I’m not the young man who debuted in 2018, full of youthful energy anymore.

- /singing along to his OST, but coughs from the effort/ LYN: I was originally planning to come here and sing some songs, but I’ve found that my voice is not in the best condition for it. 

C: Lao-da, make a heart if you see me. LYN: I can’t stand the people that come into my stream and try to exchange signals. My stream is for the general public, not for you alone. If you want to imagine that my stream is a one-on-one service, that’s okay, but don’t make me send you any signals. 

C: Ning-ge, will your drama air in the second half of the year? LYN: I don’t know. When it all comes down, I’m just an actor. The broadcast schedule of a drama is not something I can determine, and it’s not something I am worthy of knowing. It sounds a bit cruel, but it’s the truth. Often times the actors don’t even know if or when their drama will air. We might only be notified a few days in advance, and told to record some promo video to post. We don’t normally get much advance notice. So.. wait. LYN: There’s that methodology isn’t there: “Your only job is to keep working hard, and the rest is up to Heaven’s will.” Was that cheesy? But the logic is that you just keep on shooting dramas, and people are bound to like one of them. 

C: I’ve been in the midst of “archeology.” (looking up LYN’s past history) LYN: Ok. You can… but the workload is a lot. Jiayou. You work hard.

C: Ning-ge, I’ll see my test results the day after tomorrow. Can you wish me well? LYN: Of course, I hope that you will get a good score. I hope that your scores are high. Jiayou. I hope you can go to the school of your choice and that you can achieve everything you wanted. Jiayou. (x2)

C: Can you say something in English? LYN: OK. How is it? Didn’t that sound perfect? O-K. LYN: Very good. You are so beautiful. Very good.

C: What does that mutual stabbing in SJYM mean? LYN: What does it mean? It means that- what’s it to you? You can watch it when the drama airs. Are you expecting me to give you drama spoilers?? Ask, ask, ask. Do you think that’s something you should be asking?? You think I look forward to seeing a headline that reads, “LYN reveals the whole SYJM script online”?? How could I do that?! C: You’re so mean. LYN: Sorry. When people are tired and have low blood sugar they might tend to be more explosive. Excuse me. Allow me to reply to that question again. Someone asked, “What’s up with the three of you stabbing each other? Can you tell us about it?” My reply was perhaps a little abrasive, when I said, “What’s it to you?”. Let me reply properly, now… - /prepares/ LYN: What business is it of yours? :) LYN: Look, I’m asking with a smile. How gentle. LYN: What business is it of yours? If it doesn’t concern you, please don’t ask. C: Isn’t it the same??

C: Release more pictures. LYN: I rarely take selfies anymore, so there’s nothing in the storage to post. Let’s revisit this when I have an opportunity to save up some more photos.

C: Ning-ge, you were touched at the airport? LYN: Last time I went to Changsha to shoot for a show, and a fan at the airport touched me, a little. It’s okay. I’m a grown man, a small touch would not lose me a piece of meat. But my “it’s okay” does not mean “it’s okay to touch me”. That is, try your best not to make contact. No, not “try your best not to” but “don’t attempt it at all.” What I meant by “it’s okay” was that the incident has passed, so I’ll let bygones be bygones. I don’t need to find out who that person is, in order to attack them. LYN: I was thinking about it on the way home and I came to a conclusion. I really don’t like people touching me; I don’t think it’s very resepctful. But I was thinking that maybe when I walked in front of her something else floated by. My hand”some”ness. So this person smelled (?) my handsomeness and couldn’t help themselves. That’s what I was thinking when I was home and lying in bed. That’s what I was thinking, so I have forgiven that friend. Because it’s because of me, that they could not control themselves. So I’ll let it go, but give a strict reminder when I’m streaming. LYN: I’m joking, joking. But I hope that the next time we see each other, we can communicate with manners. Okay? Don’t touch me. If you touch me next time, I’ll report you. 

-----

C: Wish me a Happy Birthday! LYN: Many of you are celebrating your birthday today, yeah? Ok, then Happy- Let me record a voice message for you. Let me close the captions. You can turn on your screen capturing program now and record this video message. You can save it to your phone so that when you’re celebrating a birthday you can just play it. Today, for all of you in the stream, I will record my well wishes. I’ve already turned off the on-screen captions. Let me fix my hair- oh, it’s even uglier. /fixes it again/ Okay. Let’s go. LYN: Hello, everyone. I am Liu Yuning. I’d like to wish the friend in front of me a Happy Birthday, and I hope you can be happy every day and that all goes smoothly. LYN: Was that okay, friends? C: No, it wasn’t personal enough. LYN: Is that so? Then, I’ll record all the other versions too. “Hello, I am LYN. I’d like to wish-” /moving his mouth/ I’ll make the shapes with my mouth and then you can go and dub it yourself. “- a Happy Birthday!” Okay? 3, 2, 1. Start! - /Birthday Wish Video Message V2 (fill in the name ver.)/ C: It was too fast! LYN: What do you mean “it was too fast”! Is your name four to five characters long? My mouth moved four times, that should be about enough! C: It went too fast, I could’t record it in time. LYN: There’s the playback. When we’re done you can go back to find it. - LYN: Friends, let me also record a wedding one for you to use when you get married, because many of you aren’t yet. Okay, ready? 3, 2, 1. Record. LYN: Hello everyone, I am Liu Yuning. I’d like to congratulate ZZZ and YYY on their wedding. I hope you are blessed with children soon and may you live a long and happy life together. LYN: Perfect. - LYN:  Look at that. Usually when you want a video like this from an artist, you have to rely on your connections to get you a chance but here I just give it to you directly. When you get married, you can play this clip from me and tell people, “This is my friend.”

C: Ning-ge, can you record one for my successful grand opening (of a business)? LYN: Friends, it’s like this. Many people will ask me for such video messages, but most of the time I don’t record one. Especially for businesses, I pretty much never agree to record one, because I don’t think that these messages should be used for marketing. A message for your grand opening would turn this into business. In that case, we’d need to discuss collaboration and a contract. LYN: We don’t do business messages here. But if it’s for something between friends like a birthday or wedding, that’s okay. If it’s for business then at the very least you should be transferring me 200rmb before I’ll record one for you.

C: Record a wake-up call. LYN: … I think I have, before? I think I went on some show and they asked me to record a wake-up call for my fans. I’ve done this before.

C: Then just record another one! I don’t want the old one, nor do I want to try to find it. LYN: How lazy you are! You just want everything handed to you. You want too many things.

C: Are we making video messages today? LYN: No, someone earlier is celebrating their birthday. I won’t joke anymore. LYN: I wish everyone present in my stream- if you’re celebrating a birthday today- that you can be happy every day. Also, you’re one year older now, so… learn something. LYN: I meant that in a good way!

------

bgm: 陽光總在風雨後 (Sunshine After the Rain) > 热辣滚烫 (YOLO), YOLO Movie OST

C: Have you decided on your next drama? LYN: Why did you have to bring up such a sensitive topic? Well, it’s not that sensitive, because I have been seeing what people are posting so I did want to talk about this the next time I streamed. But then I couldn’t figure out how to say what I wanted to say. Sometimes when I need to say something relatively stricter, I always think about how I should say it. I want to make sure I’ve thought it through first. Usually when I touch upon a topic, I’ve already thought of about 70% of what I want to say. LYN: Sometimes people take my content out of context. Maybe if you spend ten minutes listening to me talk about the same topic, you wouldn’t misinterpret what I’m trying to say. But just one wrong word can trigger something which makes the whole thing sensitive. Do you get what I’m saying? You only focus on the few seconds, but don’t get the concept of what I’ve spent ten minutes to explain. It creates ambiguity. So that’s why… when I haven’t thought something through all the way I don’t particularly want to talk about it.

LYN: But since we’re on the topic, let me share my thoughts. What I’m saying now has nothing to do with other artists, and it is especially not directed anyone else’s fans. Right now, I am speaking to my own fans. In reference to what dramas I will pick up: I won’t say, “I’ll pick up what I want to, you don’t have to worry about it.” That’s not what I mean. But I do want to say that I am a 30+ year old grown adult- approaching 40. Every decision I make in my life in regards to my work has undergone careful thought or there are reasons behind my choices that you are unaware of and I cannot tell you. It might not be the ideal choice you want me to make, but they are choices that I’ve made after careful deliberation and reflection. Also, I’m sure that I would understand better than about 90% of you watching- how to be an artist. You have to admit that, right? I used to just be a street busker, who somehow went viral, established himself as a singer, and is now an actor. Right? I’m sure that I know better than 90% of you what things I should be doing and what dramas I should be accepting. Before, too, many of you wouldn’t acknowledge the decisions I made. When you look back you should realize that there must have been a reason I had made my decision. LYN: You need to trust me. Of course, there were times that my choices were a mistake- that’s a given. Rather than a “mistake”, they were the best choice I could make at the time. Looking back on those decisions now might leave you with regrets, but they were the best choice could have made at the time. They were choices I made after consideration of my position at the time. You just need to trust me. No one can tell what the results will be, but I have my reasons for making the decisions I do. That’s what I wanted to share with you.

LYN: Also, I won’t… how do I say this… I won’t just numbly do something without considering it first. I’m getting older, so there’s no way I would blindly do something. Every variety show I participate in, every song I release, my concert, and the dramas I accept- all decisions are made after making careful considerations. I won’t accept something just because it pays me more. Honestly, a few years ago when I was marketing, I made a lot more than I do now. But I don’t do that anymore. If there’s one thing you can trust me for, it’s that I will never make my decisions based on profit.

C: Got it, Ning-ge. I understand. Ning-ge is someone who “considers money as trash”! LYN: Are you trying to kill me? That’s anti-fan talk, right there. What artist in this world would dare to say that “money is no object to me.” Who dares?? Stop putting labels on me. LYN: I’ve said before, that I don’t think of money as money. I think of it as my life. If it’s supposed to be mine, then it’s mine. If it’s not mine to make, then so be it.

C: Ning-ge, you’re right. Looking back, 90% of your choices were the right one. LYN: They’re… not necessarily “right.” I just feel like… when I am looking at projects… I’ll filter it through a bunch of miscellaneous thoughts before I make my decision. When I receive a project, of course I am honored to have received notice of it in the first place. Secondly, I will look at it from different angles: 1. The Script, 2. The Production Company, 3. The Platform, 4. [???] - there’s no ranking to this!- 5. Director, 6. Actors. I will consider all these factors to look at the project comprehensively before making a decision. I don’t only look a the script, think it’s good, and make my decision. Or think, “Wow, this actor is a big name. I should collaborate with them.” or “This Director is amazing, I should accept.” I don’t only look at one factor, but look at the project collectively. 

C: You’re really talking in depth about it. LYN: I won’t anymore. It’s just something that I wanted to share. My decisions aren’t made in jest. There’s a reason behind the choice I make for the work I choose to do. I choose it for a reason. I hope that you can… respect- no, trust me. I don’t think I can ask for your respect, but at least trust me. Trust in my choices and we’ll be ok. LYN: Additionally, don’t tear down anyone I work with. This is something I keep repeating. Don’t fight about anyone I’ve worked or collaborated with. At this point I have a clear understanding of the tricks of “how to be an artist”, but I don’t want to use them and I don’t advise any of my fans to implement them either. I hope you can do that for me. Let’s just play among ourselves. C: What if other people come to start fights with us? LYN: Just… don’t fight back. This is the nature of fighting. You can… How do I say this? When you fight back, that’s when we start hurting each other. Do you get it? At first it’s a favorable condition, but once you start fighting back then you’re just mutually hurting one another. It’s that simple. LYN: I don’t know. Let’s not talk about such a sensitive topic anymore. LYN: Just block them. Pretend you didn’t see anything and block them. If you see something you don’t like, just mark the post as “not of interest” and leave it at that.

---

LYN: Also, I see that a lot of you care a lot about me- a bit like my mother. 1. Like my mother, and 2. Like my manager. You’ll say, “Your wig, Ning-ge! The wig is too low! What’s wrong with your drama crew? Can’t they see that they’ve put your bangs too low?? If you keep on like this, it won’t do at all.” “You don’t respect Ning-ge! How could you put his wig on so low???” /sigh/ I’ve seen those posts, and that you’ve even tagged the director in them. I really don’t know where you learned this behavior. You can’t learn the good things, but you sure can pick up this type of thing quickly, one after another! You’re either attacking wardrobe saying, “The clothes you made for my idol don’t look good. They’re too ugly! What the hell is that?? What’s with the texture? Why is the color like tomatoes and eggs?” or “This wig is on too low, why don’t you just start it at his nose??” Actor-fans can’t learn one good thing, but they sure can learn the bad without missing a beat!

LYN: I want to tell you something, my friends. In regard to my wig being too low: you shouldn’t judge whether the wig is low or not just based on leaked photos. This thing (the placement of the wig) is based on where the camera is stationed. First of all, we’re not recording from an angle that looks like we’re filming sneakily. If you’re looking at it from where the paparazzi are- they’re either very high or very low, or in some weird place trying to catch a glimpse of us as we spend our days filming. The angles at which they are taking these pictures are quite strange and deceiving. DO YOU KNOW?? They aren’t shooting at the right angles because 1. since they’re not close enough the dimensions get skewed and 2. if I’m shooting at ground level and they’re 10m up, looking down at me- do you think the angle of that sneakily taken picture will come out well?? That’s why I want to say, that the high or lowness of my wig and whether it looks good or not depends solely on where the camera is. Because in the end it’s going to be recorded, edited, and turned into a drama for your viewing based on the location of the main camera.  LYN: Let me tell you about it from a different angle: you can’t tell with your eyes whether the wig is on high or low. You might think that the placement is just right when looking with your eyes, but through the monitor it’s higher or lower. Everything- low or high, makeup, wardrobe, color, texture- all of it is based on how well it appears on the monitor. Friends, that’s the way it is.

C: You’re getting worked up? LYN: No- this is not how I act when I’m agitated. This is a purposeful performance persona that I’m using to tell you about these things, so that you don’t think I’m actually angry about it. I’m executing this as a performance, to tell you about it so that you find it interesting. C: Do you have other personas? LYN: What type of persona do you want to see? 🙂

---

LYN: Of course, there could be times where you sometimes pretend that you understand the visual of the historical drama wig. You could understand it, you could know, and you could THINK that you know. You can pose it as a question- “Do you think Ning-ge’s wig looks a little low?”- and share it with others, but don’t just directly start pointing fingers at the hair and makeup artists and demanding, “Do you know how to do your job??” This is their profession, so I’m sure that they know better. What I’m trying to say is: try not to create friction. In the end all of these elements are optimized to look best based on the final recording and how it looks in the monitor. Right? Otherwise why would the phrase “on camera” exist? If everything were made to be seen with your naked eyes or in a photo, then we wouldn’t be having this discussion. The standards are made for the main camera, okay? Listen to me.

C: The YNGS wig was low. LYN: Honestly, I’ll admit to that. That was a tiring drama to film- we had some very long days of shooting. Once you move or sweat, the seal releases and the wig starts moving. If we’re still in the middle of filming, all they can do is glue it back down so that you can continue. The more times they glue it back down again, the lower it becomes. If you put it too high to begin with, the whole thing will just slide off the back. It’s true that in YNGS, you’ll discover that some scenes are very good but others are low. It’s because we took many shots that day. Whenever the seal starts to open, we’ll pull and glue it back down. The more we pulled, the further down it ended up.

LYN: This time though, we’re quite strict about it. This time, there’s a standard of measurement for the positioning of my wig, too. That is, I’ll use my beads to measure the length. This is how I do it- I’ll take this strand, start at my hairline, and count the number between my hairline and the point of my nose. It’s twenty beads. I start to count… “1, 2, 3, …. 19, 20. 21?!” “No, this won’t do, laoshi. It needs to be twenty. Look.” - /puts the beads back to his hairline, counts, and tells them where it needs to be/ LYN: “This is the highest it should be. Okay, nice!”

LYN: That’s what I do, now. Why did I start to play with beads? It’s because it’s a string of beads- it may look like a stress relieving tool, but it has another function as a measuring tool for the height of my wig. C: Ning-ge, but what if you have a jingang bodhi today, but fengyan tomorrow? LYN: On a fengyan, it’s 18 beads. I have a standard of measurement for every strand I own. // Xinyue bodhis are 28 beads, because they’re smaller in size. LYN: I carry these beads around everyday, but it’s not a sure thing what I’ll use them for. So friends, you don’t have to worry. My wig is placed at the same height every day. You might think it’s high today, but by tomorrow you won’t think it’s low. [??] The logic is that I’ve used these beads to measure. I’m not kidding. C: I can’t believe people are buying this. LYN: I’m being serious. /unconvincingly/ I’m being serious about this, at least. This one is really true. C: /doesn’t believe him/ LYN: You think I’m bluffing and joking?? I’m being serious~!! FOR REAL!! LYN: I’m saying that we do measure it, but we don’t use the beads to do it. Friends, honestly, we use a measuring tape. That’s strict enough, isn’t it?

C: Ning-ge, when you measure it tomorrow take a picture as proof. LYN: …? You- /laughs/ There are two angles to this. 1. Why should I take a picture, just because you told me to? And 2. If you don’t believe me, why don’t you find the proof? How is it that you don’t believe I use a measuring tape, and you want me to prove that I do? I have to provide the evidence myself?? Fine then, when I’m finished with makeup tomorrow I’ll grab the measuring tape and snap a photo for you. 

----------

C: Can you talk about 618? LYN: They day that I sang? 618 is a Hunan Satellite TV event. Actually, when I’m already in a drama crew I will rarely accept invitations to events like these because I feel like it would split my attention. I’ll be focusing on shooting the drama when they want me to stop and do something else. What I mean by that is that I have limits- my mental capacity has a limit and I don’t really like to go out. But sometimes when I’ve been in the drama crew for too long, there are moments when I do want to get out and wander around and take a breather. Even if that’s going to the market and eating some crayfish. It’s still feels relaxing. You need that balance between work and rest. So I went to Changsha.

LYN: At the start they had asked me if I would do a set of songs. I asked which ones, and they mentioned three. I said, “Okay, but the problem is… these songs are all from last year or two years ago.” I was thinking that they’re making it seem as if I’m not prolific enough- that’s what I was thinking! They found my best OSTs from the previous years. But I was- :(. I CAN do it, since they’re songs that people have acknowledged, but the fact that I would be singing songs from previous years and not this one gives me the feeling like I haven’t done much this year. I feel like I am being eliminated by time. So I didn’t want to sing them, since it made it seem as if I hadn’t made any breakthroughs this year. But there’s YOLO- it counts as this year, right? and Offer- even though it’s from last year, but it’s special to me. 1. It was my first lead role and 2. I sang it. It means a lot to me. So we agreed on these two songs, and I went.

LYN: Six days before I was set to go, I started catching a cold. Those days I was wearing the armor, with the mask and hat- you know the look. We were shooting fight scenes, and after I would be soaked with sweat- you know how hot Hengdian was- and I would head straight for the air conditioning in that state. At first I thought I was fine- it just felt really great. When I was standing under the AC I would think, “OMG, this feels great~” I thought I was going to die, I couldn’t catch my breath, but the AC felt great. And then I got sick. I gave myself a cold. LYN: I felt terrible. Because normally I rarely get sick during the year- maybe only once or twice. But this time I got sick. If you look at the leaked photos, you can see me blowing my nose. I was blowing my nose or sneezing every other minute. I was in it. But the weird thing about this cold was that even after a week I still hadn’t recovered. Because I knew that a week later, I would have to attend this event. In my recollection, if you’re not well in three days, you be well in four. If you’re not well in four days, you should be more than fine by five. But it was seven days and I was not fine yet. It was getting to the deadline and I was dumbfounded. LYN: I couldn’t speak without sniffling, and I had this event to attend. As a singer I hold myself to a standard that I must sing live. If I went, I’d need to sing live, but I was sick. Also, it seems that audiences have higher standards for singers. Because of a certain variety show, now audiences have high standards for singers. Because they like to take the singer’s raw vocals and put it through some software to see how accurately they’re singing the notes. It’s not as if I was afraid of singing live- I like it. I enjoy singing live, and it’s when I’m recording that I don’t feel anything. But I was thinking, “I’m done for.” I- Liu Yuning- have spent the past month and a half shooting a drama and finally got the opportunity to go out and attend and event to show my face, take some nice pictures, and look handsome. To go on stage and sing some songs that myself and everyone else likes- my own songs- so that I can leave behind a wonderful stage and beautiful image. How nice is that? But I was sick.

LYN: I felt terrible. Deeply pained. What could I do?? What if the time came and my voice cracked? I would be trending at No.1 with the topic “LYN_SoundsTerrible”. It would be the end of me. What do you think would happen- do you think I would still be able to keep business in the OST industry? How was I going to keep getting jobs? Would I still be the “Bodyguard of Love”? I started thinking all sorts of things. I was terrified. I’d arrive in Changsha on 6/16 and perform on the 17th. I woke up at 8am on the 16th, went into makeup and shot a whole day of scenes. After that I headed straight for the airport, flew to Changsha, and went straight for rehearsal as soon as I landed. And then… - /preps/ LYN: Normally, everyone has to go rehearse. The first thing you do is to test the mic- you have to listen to the ration between the in-ears and vocals, because you’re singing live. It needs to be tested. I went like this- -- 奉上 (purposefully singing poorly every once in a while) LYN: That’s how I sounded during rehearsal. Because first, I was sick and second, I was up all night so my condition was the worst it could be. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to control the high notes, but I had to pretend that I could handle it. I said, “Sorry, laoshi”- I used the mic to tell them- “Sorry”- I was giving myself an out- “Let me try again. Maybe I haven’t been on stage in too long. Let me try that again. /coughs/.” I purposefully coughed so the mic would pick it up. /coughs/ To secretly tell them that I was sick. “This is not reflective of LYN’s actual skill. Please don’t regret inviting me.” So the first rehearsal was done. The second time around director came and asked me if I wanted to do another run, and I said yes. “I want to try that again. /cough/.” Ok- LYN: The second time I only had five words in my head: pretend it’s the real performance. I had to do it seriously this time, because honestly the first time I wasn’t trying that hard. Because the purpose of it was to test the mic levels, to make sure the audience is hearing well and that my in-ears are working right. The second time around I have to give it my all. “Even if I ruin my voice, I will not crack this second time.” I’m sure that there are fans in the audience who spent money to get a seat. Every time I rehearse, there are always these fans who use alternative means to get through the back door. If they hear me sing badly, they’re going to stop being my fan. Usually, the people who can afford to spend money to get into the venue- even though as artists we do not condone this behavior of using improper means- it proves one thing: they either have money or have connections. They’re fans with a different type of skill. Of course, all of my fans are important to me! I’m just afraid that you’ll think, “Ning-ge sound like THIS live? Forget it. UNSTANNED!” So for the second time I was thinking that even if I ruin my voice tonight and I can’t speak tomorrow, I still have to sing properly. Let’s do it. -- 奉上 (take 2) LYN: /interrupts himself to say/ I think I was wearing this exactly, that day. This hat and these shades.

LYN: People need to find their confidence. After the first high note, I was much more relaxed for the rest of the song. After that I didn’t crack too terribly. But honestly, I wasn’t the best. I was thinking the next day I wouldn’t do ANYTHING. I would go home, shower, and just lie on the bed and have a good sleep. I needed to sing live for the performance, and I didn’t want to be laughed off the stage. It wasn’t worth it. I had enough ridicule as a singer five years ago. Maybe three years ago. But in the recent three years very few people have attacked me for being a singer. This is the truth. Five years ago, everyone just thought I was “internet famous” so when I was singing and called myself a singer they said, “What “singer”?? You’re just internet famous is all.” But in the recent three years very few people have questioned my identity as a singer. Because they’re rejecting my identity as an actor instead. So I don’t want to sing this song poorly and destroy my image as an actor- I mean- as a singer. Because I’m on the “actor” stage of my life now. If you take away my identity as a singer, the next thing they’ll be saying is, “LYN, you aren’t worthy to be a streamer.” They won’t even let me stream. They don’t think I’m worthy enough to be anything. 

LYN: I wasn’t quite satisfied with my performance that night, because I didn’t sing well. In Offer, the first two high notes of the chorus weren’t very stable and I was noticeably off-key for one of them. There were a few places I was outrageously off key. For YOLO, it was my first time singing it live. I really was nervous that day. Usually I’m not nervous when attending these types of events. But I was really nervous that day, because I knew that I wasn’t in the best condition. I knew that I didn’t sing the first song as stably as I could have. I didn’t sing it well. So then for the second song, I wanted to find that stability back. I tried. And then- I started the song too early. I started the song a beat too early. - /plays the song/ LYN: In this part (the vocalization) I was supposed to be melancholy. I was supposed to be walking towards the rear of the stage, because they had told me “Ning-ge. When you finish Offer, walk back towards the stage.” I was planning it all out. I would walk, and when it reached the end I would open up my arms as if I were embracing the light and embracing the future. I was thinking that since I didn’t sing my first song well enough, I should at least pull off the second. The arrangement started and it went to my head. - /playing it out again/ LYN: I jumped in too early. /holds a not to get back on beat/ I was dazed. I was thinking “It’s over.” I made myself look cool for nothing!! I messed up and it’s a flop. I entered the song too early. That’s such a basic thing, too!! So I was wondering how I could make up for the slip and pretended it was okay. In the later part of the verse I purposefully dragged it, to see if I could trick the viewers. Only the viewers watching live- I can’t trick anyone watching the playback later. /reenacts/ I forgot exactly what I did, but I was thinking that since I came in too early, I would drag out the end and it would look like that was all part of the plan. It would only work to trick anyone who was watching the performance at the time, but not for anyone watching the playback. 

C: Ning-ge, I thought you forgot the lyrics. LYN: I didn’t forget the lyrics. I was just too excited, that day.  Excited, nervous, and most importantly because I knew that my condition wasn’t the best because I was sick. I was really afraid of cracking, so I wasn’t relaxed. But from the moment I made my first mistake I started relaxing because I knew it couldn’t get any worse than it already was. From the moment I entered too early, it took me 3-5 seconds of nerves before I just let go completely and finished off the song.

-----

C: How was the fan support? LYN: It was nice. But maybe it’s because lately I’ve just been shooting in the crew and haven’t gone out much, but you shouted so loud you gave me tinnitus. I was thinking it was a but too loud. You all were shouting too fiercely. I usually finish up my business and come out side to greet you, right? But this time when I went out your shouting gave me tinnitus. When I got on my car I felt like my ears were ringing. 

C: Were you afraid? LYN: Afraid? What’s there to be afraid of? No, why would I be?? If I were walking along and you quietly came and held out a letter to me, then I would be afraid. You’re very welcoming, so there’s no need for me to be afraid. 

C: Ning-ge, you sang the wrong lyrics at 618. LYN: You just came in didn’t you, kid? Did you just arrive now? I already spent about 15 minutes talking about my experience at the 618 event. I talked about the whole process and what I was thinking. I already finished talking about it, and NOW you come in to tell me that I missed some lyrics?? You came late. You can watch the playback later.

C: When are you streaming until? LYN: I’ll stream for a while then leave because I’ve got a day of filming tomorrow and I have to go over my scenes. I have quite a lot of them in this drama. Every one of them is a challenge to shoot. It’s very complicated. But of course, I believe that- as with everything- as long as you put in enough hard work you will be rewarded. How much is unknown, but there is a reward. So that’s why even if it’s tiring to shoot this drama, I still think it’s okay. 

C: Ning-ge, when will Cicada Girl air? LYN: They’ve asked me to go do the voiceover recently. I don’t know where it is in the censorship process, but they’ve asked me to supplement the voiceover. From the actor’s perspective, I’ve been asked to redo lines that weren’t executed well or need to be changed. I really don’t have a lot of scenes in this drama. Maybe only 200 or so. It only took be a month and a half to finish all my scenes. I have very little scenes, and the whole show only has 24 episodes. All you need to do is watch and support it when it airs. LYN: A couple days ago when Ziwen-jie was doing her voiceover, she sent me a message. She asked me if I had done my part yet, and I told her that I received the notice but haven’t gone to the studio yet. She said, “It’s good! I almost laughed myself to death, it’s very amuding.” I replied, “Is that so? How is it- my acting?” She’s seeing the edited parts already, since she needs to do her lines, so I just asked her how my acting came out. “Is it okay?” She said, “Uh- okay. Let’s talk later! I need to finish my lines!” XD LYN: I’m joking. Don’t take that seriously. The content of my stream is a joke. Please don’t take it seriously. LYN: I asked her, “How’s my acting?” and she replied, “It was very good. I think it’s very amusing and it was funny when we were filming it, too.” She meant that it was fun even while we were shooting it. I let her go, since she needed to finish her lines. I’ll see it in any case, when I go to record mine.

C: I’m not a fan, I just happened to scroll by. LYN: It’s fate that brough you here. Everyone is a guest. With so many people in China, among the vast sea of people the fact that you and I are able to meet is fate. An encounter is centuries in the making, and millenium makes a marriage. In a decem-millenium (10,000 years) you scroll across my weibo. Think about how cruel fate is. You can only come across my weibo after 10,000 years! That’s fate. So, if you haven’t yet subscribed to my weibo, please do so. Thank you. - [t/n: the original quote is decade & century. 十年修得同船渡,百年修得共枕眠]

C: I’m your antifan. LYN: You’re here to turn yourself in? That’s great. Antifans are… Forget it- I feel like if I say the same thing I did the last time it won’t have any meaning. There’s a promise I made with my antifans in my last stream- you can go watch it. C: The 30-year promise. LYN: Right. I said in my last stream that as long as an antifan can continue to do so, within 30 years there will come a day where they realize they actually love me. Believe it. Let’s wait and see.

C: Lao-da, you’re trending. LYN: It’s not a hate-topic is it? I didn’t say anything! D: I didn’t say anything wrong today, did I? bgm: 世世 (Lifetime) - Legend of Shen Li OST LYN: Friends, you said- There’s a problem, which is- do you know why it’s taking me so long to look? Because I can’t find any trending topic. LYN: /is sad/  bgm: JVKE - Golden Hour LYN: /singing & “sobbing”/ LYN: See friends, people always say that LYN has ulterior motives. He’s so conniving- all of his projects are gained by drinking and chatting with people. Look at me now, though. I can even be tricked by netizens in my own stream. I’m someone who’s easily tricked by scammers. The phone scams can even trick me sometimes. So how could I have the brains to pull myself resources and work?? That’s why, you should never try to understand a person based on what others say about them. How should you understand them? From the heart. Use your heart to understand them. LYN: I had a line that went: “If you want to understand a person, don’t use your eyes.” No- the line went, “Let me tell you. If you really want to understand a person, don’t use your ears. Use your eyes.” … But I don’t think that’s accurate either. You should use your heart. Because what you see might not be the truth.

LYN: My shoulders are a little sore. I’m just exercising my back so I can relax the muscles. bgm: 万物盛开法则 (The Law of All Things in Bloom) - Zhang Dawei

-----

C: When will you release your album? LYN: I don’t want to discuss this topic. /sigh/ An album is really hard to make. It’s really not easy… Let’s not rush it! You ask me, “When will you release your album?” and I shall reply, “Let’s not rush it.” - [t/n: In Chinese, it rhymes: 专辑  (album - zhuānjí) & 着急 (worry/feel anxious - zháojí)]

C: You still won’t release it yet? LYN: I haven’t completed it yet. Honestly, a bunch of songs were done 2-3 years ago but I never released it because I don’t have enough. I want to release the album when I’ve collected 10 songs. I haven’t collected enough. When I listen to songs now, I kind of want to puke. I’m talking about the demos. There are just too many, and I can’t pick out which ones I like. It’s nothing to do with my style, it’s just that I’ve heard too many and now I’m numb. (recites lyrics to Jay Chou’s 世界末日 (End of the World))

C: If you don’t release one, it’ll be expired. LYN: You’re not wrong. /sigh/ I really want to let you hear some of it. Because once you do you’ll know that these songs are timeless. What I mean is that they are not bound to this era, so they won’t “expire.” C: Let’s hear some. LYN: There’s no way I would let you hear it. If I were to release it tomorrow or the day after, I would let you hear the starting rhythm or something. But you want me to play my album during my stream?! Then, who would buy it?

LYN: There’s someone in the chat who is constantly spamming what number topic I’m trending at. If you continue, and I find out you’re tricking me, I’m going to kick you out. The logic is that I can do without trending, I can just muddle my way through. But you can’t trick me. Okay? Don’t trick me. I don’t need to be popular, but I need you not to trick me.

C: Ning-ge, release a few more copies of your album, otherwise I’m afraid I won’t be able to get one. LYN: I don’t have any plans to make a physical one right now. My plan is to make a vinyl later, though like I did for my previous album. Just listening though, there’s no way you’ll need to pay- it’s going to be free. I made a promise to you before, that you would always get to listen to my music for free. My album will be free, so all you have to do is listen to it. If I do end up releasing a vinyl later, you can go buy that. But honestly, I’m not counting on it to make a profit. I don’t need it to. I haven’t reached that point. Otherwise- nevermind. I’m just not relying on these things to make money, is all. C: Can you not release a limited number of vinyls? LYN: We’ll see. It’s- if it’s not a limited number, then we have to predict how many to make in the first place. It’s actually not that much different from having a limit. 

-----

C: Lao-da, why won’t you talk to us at the airport? LYN: I did, didn’t I? “Move to the side.” (x3) /laughs/ Didn’t I tell you to move to the sides? I’m kidding! I was saying, “Don’t squeeze. Okay, I know. Don’t squeeze!!” I did talk to you! Wasn’t I very sincere? I was saying it from the heart: “Please, don’t squeeze.” How many other artists can talk to you sincerely like that, using their heart to tell you the truth? How many can do that? I can. I said, “Don’t squeeze anymore. D:” It was truly words from the heart. No airs- just a shout from my soul. “Stop squeezing!”

LYN: Because right now I’m spending most of my time in the drama crew. If I wrap up the day at 12a, and I have to go attend some even the next day, I still have to wake up early. I have to get into hair and makeup early, and shoot a day of scenes. It’s a lot different from how you would go about a company job. I shouldn’t say that. That’s just how /I/ work. If I am shooting some scenes tomorrow, then I have to do some homework the night before. I’ll go early to get my hair and makeup done, then start filming. You need to be focused on the drama during this part. After that, I turn in to wash up and then head for the airport. Why do I always use the VIP route when I fly places? It’s not because I have money or that I’m trying to show off. It’s that I really want to use that time to take a nap. Because as soon as I’m off the plane I need to go to rehearsals. I’ll wake up and start makeup at 12p the next day- very early. Because we need to snap the promo photos that you see my studio post. I’ll wake up two hours earlier to get get made up and shoot those photos so that they’re ready before the event. Later in the evening, it’s time for me to perform. Most of the time as soon as I’m done, I catch a flight back to Hengdian and it’ll land around 2-3 in the morning. I’ll be working again the next day.

LYN: I’m not saying this to tell you that I’m tired. I’m not afraid of being tired. I AM afraid of not being in the best condition I could be, and going to shoot my drama. This face of mine has to face the camera, and it was ugly enough to begin with. I’m already just average-looking. If I wake up the next day looking haggard and messing up my lines, then that would agonize me. (He doesn’t want to delay the filming because of his personal reasons.) LYN: That’s why I want to get a good rest on the road. I’ll sleep on the car, get to the airport drowsy, take a nap on the plane, then get off my flight and be ready to go to rehearsal. I’m giving myself a period of rest.

----- Break #1 LYN: I’m back. They (the neighbors) weren’t fighting. They were watching TXJ. - /thanking all the fans who make content for him: video edits, fanart, etc./ LYN: There are people who draw for me- I won’t comment on whether they draw well or not- it’s all good to me, because I can’t draw. But there are some people who are constantly making content. For example, right now. I’m streaming now but by the time I’ve finished they will have posted a drawing of me already. It doesn’t matter if it’s cartoon, sketch, manhua, or whatever style. Most of the time when I’m streaming, by the time I’m done that art is already posted. It’s nice. I just think that every drawing is- - /sets up his bgm > ​내 마음 들리나요 (Can you Hear My Heart)/ LYN: - is full of love. Every video is full of interest ans respect. So right now I’d like to thank every good friend who creates content for me. You’ve worked hard. LYN: What is this? When someone is willing to put in so much effort for you- what is that called? I think this feeling can only be described in two words: team spirit. 

C: Are you logging off now? LYN: You wish. On a night when I appear like this, how could I so easily let you go to sleep? Stay up!

C: Xiao Ning, being loved by so many people, you must move forward carrying a heavy burden. LYN: I suddenly realize that I have a long way to go in my future. I’m carrying so many people’s hopes… and disappointments. So I do not feel like I am alone. Right now, it’s possible that I am carrying many of my fans, or those of you who are watching whose wish was to become a celebrity’s dreams. Right now I represent all the hopes for the future you had when you were young. And I will continue to carry that heavy burden and move forward. C: I’m on the heavier side. LYN: And you still have the nerve to say so? That’s why it’s called “负重前行” (fu zhong qian xing), because I have to “扶” (fu = support) you in walking forward. C: Ning-ge, I am a 100+ kg soul. LYN: Your soul alone is 100+ kg? And what about your physical body? It’s okay. A girl like you is... stable.

C: When did you start? LYN: The stream? Around 9p. It’s been about an hour and a half now, let me look at my timer. I’ve been streaming for 1h, 43m. What’s wrong- you missed it, didn’t you? :) That’s why. If you haven’t yet subscribed to my weibo, please do so. I don’t always announce when I’m going to stream. Sometimes I do it when I wrap up work early. After today though… it’s probably going to be a while before I stream next. Because as of now I still owe: 5 OSTs and the supplemental voiceover for Cicada Girls. If I finish work early in the next weeks, that will be the work I have to make up for.

LYN: I forgot something earlier- That’s right. You are now listening to the drama Follow Your Heart (YXJ) OST opening theme song, called 心悠悠 (Longing Heart). Oh- excuse me- I misspoke! It’s not the opening theme- it’s the interlude! Sorry. Let me say that again. - /repeats himself, but correctly/ -- 心悠悠 (Longing Heart) - Follow Your Heart OST - /singing along, but not syncing up/ LYN: Friends, it’s like this- it’s not that I am unfamiliar with the song, but that in the recent year, this is the most mysterious OST I’ve sung. The three chorus verses are all different. I can’t remember which melody comes first. If there are detailed friends tuning in, you can focus on that- the three choruses are all different. So I’m a little confused. Let me re-familiarize myself.

C: Stop swaying. I’m dizzy. C: You’re singing this song with a strong sense of thievery. (KSTLB2 reference, bc he was rubbing his hands together) LYN: Friends- let me explain the “dizzy” thing later. First, if you don’t have any drama to watch lately you can check this one out. It’s called Follow Your Heart and there are some friends of mine in it. Including LYX-laoshi, who I’ve worked with (sung OSTs for his dramas) a few times already. The drama is pretty interesting; I’ve watched a bit. Wang Chengsi (ZY, SJYM) has also cameo-d in a couple episodes. I thought it was quite a good watch. So if you have some time you can go watch this new drama, okay? Please support it. LYN: Now let me tell you why you might have been a bit dizzy earlier. Some people just have that disposition- like carsickness. Some girls might have a weaker disposition, and when they’re on the subway or if they see something that is shaking too much they can get a sense of vertigo. But let me teach you what to do when I’m singing. - C: Once I get carsick, I’m vomiting enough to fill the car. LYN: … How much you vomit doesn’t have to do with being dizzy, but with how much you’ve eaten. If you don’t eat for a day, I’m sure you won’t have enough vomit to fill the car. It’d just be a puddle, probably. You must have eaten too much and thrown up as a result. That’s not to do with carsickness. Just eat less and you won’t vomit enough to fill the car. Maybe just half the car. Also, I don’t think you’re throwing up at just the slightest jiggle or sway of the car, right? Just eat a little less. LYN: Are you that friend from earlier who had a soul that was 100+ kg? - LYN: Anyway, what I wanted to say was- I’ll sing another song in a bit to let you test it- but sway along! If you don’t trust me, then try. Hold your phone and sway as you watch. You won’t be dizzy. If you don’t trust me then just try it. You have to follow my rhythm and sway with me. Then you won’t feel sick. Okay? And now I will sing. Let me see which song will make you move.

- /vocal fry/ LYN: Suddenly, a vocal fry register. (气泡音 - qìpào yīn) * [Vocal fry is the lowest register (tone) of your voice characterized by its deep, creaky, breathy sound] LYN: What do you mean~ I should sing a song now~ How about~~~ LYN: /laughs/ I saw a comment once that read, “What’s so good about LYN’s streams? One time I happened to click in and found he was speaking with the vocal fry register. How greasy!” LYN: Don’t you think… How could this be greasy? Don’t you think- it sounds very nice?

LYN: Someone wants to hear “一个人的北京.” I won’t be singing that. What should I sing… how about… I haven’t actually found one. C: 传承 (Inheritance) LYN: I’m really just afraid of cracking, because I know I’m not in the best condition. I don’t want it to influence any future work. I still have five OSTs I haven’t recorded yet. What if a producer or director is watching my stream and they watch me crack while singing a song and then think, “We don’t need LYN anymore.” “We don’t want you to sing this song anymore. If there’s a chance to work together next time, we’ll talk.” It might influence my future development and income. 

LYN: There’s a song called… what’s “等风来”? Oh, the song is called “天空之外” (Beyond the Sky), right? I heard this song recently, and I quite liked it. // Is there an arrangement for the male key? No? -- 天空之外 (Beyond the Sky) - Gank Your Heart OST LYN: Songs are so hard to find! Why is it so complicated. Hold on, let me check my “arrangement warehouse.” 

LYN: Oh, this I haven’t sung in a long time! -- 乞丐 (Beggar) LYN: Hold on- it’s been a long time since I last sang this and I’ve forgotten how. Sorry. I always sing this at my concert, though. C: It lagged. LYN: It didn’t lag, the mic broke. There was a small problem with it. It’s okay. // It’s not broken. // Oh, you lagged? What a coincidence. The microphone forgot the lyrics, lol.

LYN: Oh, 熬夜 (Stay Up All Night)... I will sing this song for everyone tuning in, and you who are currently staying up tonight. - /missed the timing to start singing/ LYN: What do you think? You, who are currently staying up at night- this song 熬夜 is for you. Let’s stay up together. I don’t know how the sound equipment is working tonight, but let’s just sing. If you start to feel dizzy, remember to sway with me. -- 熬夜 (Stay Up All Night) LYN: That’s about enough. I don’t have any strength left. Thank you. LYN: I’ll open another bottle of water. It feels a bit hoarse. Excuse me, sorry. 

-----

bgm: 莫问前程 (Don’t Ask About the Future) - White Cat Legend OST LYN: I won’t sing anymore, let’s just chat. I don’t have enough strength left.

C: Ning-ge, why hasn’t Daimi been to work for four days? LYN: She’s been in Hangzhou for a few days. We’re had her get a check-up, because she hasn’t been feeling well lately. But we found out it was nothing big, so she came back. Today she was at work on time.

C: Is she pregnant? LYN: No!

LYN: /to Daimi/ Daimi! Come here. Your fans want to see you. LYN: ?! You stepped on my headphones, hey! [t/n: OMG, I almost thought he said something… different. >.>] LYN: Hold on. Let me find some appropriate bgm for you. Alright? Wait a bit. bgm: Neon Sweetheart LYN: Okay. Say hello to all the brothers, sisters, uncles and aunties out there. They’ve been thinking of you the whole time.

C: Daimi plays with beads, too? LYN: No, I put it on her so she can play it for me. Because her oils and fur are suited for polishing them. Also, as an artist you have to have something special, right? You’ve seen dogs sit and dance, but have you ever seen a dog polishing beads? You haven’t right? So if we want to make some space for ourselves in this vast world, you have to be unique. I’m sure no one’s ever seen a dog polishing beads. So I’ve given her this image.

LYN: Look- she’s gotten so chubby. I’m just having her stand on my leg for a big, but she already can’t keep herself up. She’s panting. Listen- She’s so fat she can’t even sit!

LYN: I’m going to recite the spell now. Friends, you can observe how her modd changes. How- about- a sausage? C: There’s no reaction. LYN: No- can’t you see that she keeps licking her lips?? She’s already imagining what it will be like when she eats it. Let’s go. Hold on a sec while I get her one.

C: Ning-ge, I want to watch you feed her. LYN: My dog can’t do much else, but if you give her a whole sausage she can peel it herself. I don’t need to serve her. C: Show us. LYN: What, you even want a performance? Hold on, friends. - /shows off all the peels/ LYN: She ate all of those.

C: Ning-ge, are you sure you didn’t eat them? LYN: I… wouldn’t. Because this is a sausage for pets.

C: She didn’t peel it today? LYN: No- she’s over in her house. When she’s done eating it she’ll leave the peel there. That was probably two or three day’s worth. She eats 5-6 sticks in a day. LYN: Every morning she goes to the makeup room- she’s in a rush every morning. As soon as I wake up and start washing my face, she’s already waiting by the door. I’m washing my face, and she’s already waiting to go. She plans on just running out and onto the elevator as soon as I open the door. When we’re at the makeup room, the first thing my makeup artist does is give her a sausage. She won’t eat this first one, but hide it instead; because I have my own room. Then she’ll go to the bigger makeup room and do her rounds. She’ll come back with an egg and some bread. Then come back and eat them all together. That’s her breakfast. LYN: Most of the time she won’t eat that first sausage yet, and go fishing for bread. Sometimes there’s an egg, and she’ll eat that on the spot. If there’s no egg, she’ll bring some bread back. Then she’ll eat them together.

-----

- /smacks a mosquito and shows it off/

C: Ning-ge, the Shanghai subgroup of fans is meeting, will you come? LYN: I won’t be attending, thanks. You eat and play amongst yourselves. I know a lot of locations are gathering for a group dinner. It’s quite fun and happy to be together. I won’t be going because I don’t want to have to pay for the meal. If I had the money, I could just buy something to eat at home. But you all have fun. I won’t be going.  LYN: Jilin is also gathering, is that right? Dalian as well? Nice, have fun together. 

C: Ning-ge, if you come you’ll eat for free. LYN: For example, there’s a place where my fans are gathering and they’ve bought out a restaurant to hang out. If you invite me and I go, then that means I don’t have to pay for my share, is that it? Erm… I’m not someone who’s greedy to take advantage of such situations. The reason I’m not going is really because I don’t want to take advantage, not because I don’t want to go. I really do want to go, but I don’t want to take advantage. So I won’t be going.

C: Then come to foot the bill. LYN: I could. That’s no problem. You all know that Ning-ge is not stingy when it comes to these things. I treat my fans well. But I won’t be going. I don’t even want to go when it’s a free meal, let alone go when I have to pay the bill. What do you think I am? Many friends call me “Ning-bao” don’t they? Now you want me to go make payments- do you think I’m Alipay (zhifubao)? 

C Ning-ge, where’s your team spirit?? LYN: /laughs/ I could chat about “team spirit” with you on a normal basis but once it comes to fan-gatherings this “team spirit” disappears. Is that what you mean to say?? Are you provoking me? You’re calling me out?! LYN: This trick is called “moral kidnapping”. It’s okay- when it’s about treating fans to meals I’ve already given up on my morals.

C: You sure are stingy. LYN: This isn’t being stingy. This has nothing to do with money. It’s my life on the line. LOL, no. Let’s make an example: I go to any random fan-gathering, let’s say Beijing. They say, “Ning-ge, we’re having a fan-gathering!” and I go, “You’re meeting up? Okay- the bill’s on me. Ning-ge will treat you.” At this time, Shenyang’s group is calling it quits. “What’s the meaning of this, Ning-ge? Fans in Beijing are fans, but us in Shenyang aren’t?” So I say, “Okay. Liu-gongzi will pay the tab in Shenyang.“ After that, the Dandong fans are calling it quits. If it continues on like that, it would be fairer for everyone if I don’t pay for anyone. You all can pick up your own tabs. 

LYN: Sometimes it’s hard to be fair, but I’m trying hard to keep it even. One time I wanted to do something fun for my stream- I was thinking I could connect with fans. Because I needed content, but also because I thought I had the ability to communicate. Even if the person I connected with happened to be an antifan. If I randomly pick a user today to connect with, and they end up being an antifan. If they come in cursing, then I would kick them out immediately. But if they came in wanting to debate, I have the confidence I would be able the go for half an hour (or longer) and ultimately turn them into my fan. I’m confident I can do that. LYN: The problem is that I’ve thought about connecting with fans, but then you all complain and tell me not to. Why? Because I’m connecting with someone that’s not you. Now they’re unhappy. For example, I’ll connect with Fan A, and now Fan B is upset. “Lao-da, I’m telling you. I bought four cases of yogurt because of you. What? Is that not enough to be a fan?” Fan C didn’t get to connect either, so they say, “Yeah, Lao-da. I bought a Pomellato necklace. What is this, favoritism? Okay. I won’t be buying any more.” There’s this sense of rebellion, so I want to be fair: I won’t connect with anyone. If there comes a day when this sense of revolt can lessen, then I would select a few lucky guests and chat with them during my streams. LYN: We can chat about anything like if you need life advice, or if you have any opinions/suggestions that I should take, or your thoughts. We really can talk about it. It could be fun!

LYN: I think even with streaming or- if you are an artist- not yet a celebrity, but at least someone in this industry: singer, actor, it doesn’t matter- I always think that you should always love what you do. I even remade my streaming room- the next time I stream, if it’s all set up, you’ll see how serious I am about streaming. There’ll be new room. But I want to make the content fun as well. So I think of connecting because interaction is the charm of livestreaming. I think I can do it. C: I want to interact. LYN: See? There’s someone who’s posted that they want to interact. At this time, they are very excited to be chosen to interact with. But if I don’t choose them, do you think that they would be extremely disappointed? Would they be sad? Because of this, would they stop being my fan and start destroying me instead? In the entertainment circle there’s a methodology: it doesn’t matter which artist, if they start doing well the fans wil stop being fans and start tearing you down instead. Let me tell you, there is not one artist in this circle who isn’t afraid of this happening to them. It doesn’t matter how big of a celebrity you are, or whether you’re an actor or singer. Everyone is afraid of this technique. 

LYN: Let’s not talk about anyone else but use myself as an example. When I am shooting a drama, there are people taking sneaky pictures of me and selling them online. Let’s say they’re sold at 10rmb per photo, and someone spends 100rmb to buy ten photos. Let’s say it’s 2024.06.28- and they like LYN. When they’re looking at the photos it’s under the filter of beng a fan. They can PS or use some filter to make the photos look nice and pretty. White and shining. Young and handsome. They post those edited photos online or onto some short video platform. Okay. LYN: Let’s say on 06.29- or- today, I am looking for five fans to connect with on my stream, and I do not end up choosing the girl who bought ten photos of me. She gets angry. “I want to connect with LYN, because I have so much I want to say to him!” Of the five fans I choose, I don’t choose her. Tomorrow, on 06.29, there will be 10 raw (unedited) photos released. Maybe super unedited. She’ll put the edited and unedited photos next to each other and post, “This is the LYN you all know.” It’s not worth it. C: The unedited photos also look good! LYN: That’s why I’m saying, you have the fan-goggles on. Let me tell you something- in this industry there is not one artist who doesn’t have ugly photos. Name one. Let’s say you have a name in your head, and you’re thinking, “This person is so good-looking!” then you search this person’s name with “___ ugly photo” at the end. See what the results are. You don’t need to type people’s names into my chat! Just think of a name and search it yourself. There’s not one person who doesn’t have them. That’s why when fans tell me that they think I’m handsome I want to reply that it’s because of the fan-goggles. I’m not handsome. I’m afraid, too. So let’s not connect next time. 

LYN: I hope, though, that those of you who are watching my stream right now- most of you, about 80% are my fans. 80% of you are my fans, so starting today could we swear a sacred oath (歃血为盟 - smear the lips with blood when taking an oath)? If one day you stop being my fan, could you not destroy me on your way out? Can you promise me that? Let’s sign an agreement today June 28, 2024, that one day if you stop being my fan you won’t step on me on the way out. Can you do that? You can leave, but not at my expense. Can you? LYN: I have blood on my hand- it’s mosquito blood. The scared oath. I’ve got the blood. LYN: That’s the first thing, not to step on me on your way out. The second is, many of you probably go online to buy leaked photos. If one day you stop being my fan, could you format your storage disk? Format your storage disk for me. Can you do it? Promise me. Thank you. You can do it. LYN: It’s a gentleman’s agreement.

C: Ning-ge, where can I buy leaked news and photos? LYN: The fact that you’re even asking me this question now means that you should never go to buy them. I see you typing those words from through the monitor and can see your innocent eyes! If you go outside, you’re likely to get scammed by others!! Don’t go online trying to buy these things and end up getting scammed! I can tell how innocent you are from the fact that you’ve typed that questions. Your eyes still shine with light and you can see the word “INNOCENT” in them. Don’t even think about it. If you’re scrolling your phone and come across what others have bought and posted, you can look. But don’t even think about purchasing them for yourself. You don’t need to spend your own money for it. There’s no need.

C: Ning-ge, if I had bad photos of you I wouldn’t erase them. I’ll sell them to you. LYN: That’s a little bit illegal. Are you a criminal? Are you blackmailing me?? “Ning-ge, I have a BUNCH of ugly photos of you. Send me 200rmb immediately or I’ll post them all online.”

C: Ning-ge, will you still stream in ten years? LYN: I don’t think I would still be acting in ten years, but I’m sure that in ten years I will still be streaming. Whether as an actor or a singer, there will always come the possibility that you will be struck out or replaced over time. But streaming is something that I personally want to do. It is not influenced by outside factors. As long as you give me a platform, as long as Weibo allows me to stream, I will keep streaming. That’s all there is to it. I only need a platform and I will stream willingly. But for acting, it’s other people who find me to act- it’s passive. 

C: Do a few magazine shoots. LYN: Magazines… I don’t have the time to do them. I also think… I’m too ugly and I’m not worthy to be in magazines. [t/n: He’s also said before that he doesn’t want people to pay for something like a MAGAZINE, just because he’s in it. He wants people to spend money on things that can be of use.]

C: Do you want to be Weibo Livestream King for 10 consecutive years?? LYN: Livestream King is a great honor to me. I’ll try hard to make it happen. I’ll do my best. C: Start a live-streaming industry. LYN: No, I should just do my own stream well. I can’t be involved in any sort of industry.

C: Ning-ge, in ten years become a streaming-type yxh. LYN: …? For what?? I already said that when I was 60- was it 60 or 70? I forgot.- that I would share everything I’ve encountered in this entertainment industry with you. LYN: Was it 60? Then when I’m 60.

C: Lao-da, could I take your raw photos and trade them for an autographed one? LYN: … LYN: “Ning-ge, in this card I have 10 unedited photos of you. Could I trade them for a personalized autographed photo? Okay? I hope that you can write: “___ is the most beautiful.”” LYN: The way they’ve done this has avoided punishment under law. Because it’s true that they’re not doing it for profit or anything, not that I understand it very much. That is- I don’t think it’s worth suing you over… But this underhanded tactic does make me a little uncomfortable. LYN: But let me tell you- everyone’s words can create an image of your face. Through the words you’ve typed, I can imagine your face and the tone of your voice. For example, for the person earlier I’ve already described their face: two big round eyes, full of clarity. “Ning-ge, where can I buy leaked news and photos?” They were like that- I’m sure they’re as I imitated just now. Now this person, I’m sure, looks like this: “Xiao Ning-ah.. If I were to have your unedited photos and I wanted to exchange them for a personalized autograph… Can I?” They must be like that! Cunning and wicked. Friends, I’m sure they’re like that. How terrifying! LYN: The friend who asked this question, you can go look in the mirror. Tell me I didn’t look just like you.

C: Ning-ge, you’re on my glasses case and my teacher saw it. Should I cower? LYN: Through this comment, this friend has already got me figuring out what they look like and how they speak. /repeats the question/ You must look like this- /puts on a pair of round frames and makes himself a little… nerdy looking and innocent, I guess/. Go look in the mirror, do you look like this? It’s… innocent, but sincere. Sincere, but also a little cute and naive. That’s you. Go look in the mirror.

C: Ning-ge, why don’t you go on Call Me by Fire? LYN: /laughs/ CMBF is… is that the sisters or the brothers? The brothers, right? The thing is, a while ago Yizhe was (going to be) on it. I think he was on it. That’s what I heard- or rather, he had sent me a message. If I call him Yizhe, you might not know- it’s Qian Zhao (YNGS). If I am NYZ, he is QZ. You get it if I put it that way, right? So, QZ went to attend CMBF, I think. He wanted me to record a short video for him, to cheer him on. I asked him, “What am I supposed to say?” and he said, “Just cheer me on. We’re friends, right? So you can say, “I heard WYZ is going to be on this show, and I hope he gets a good ranking.” It’s just like supporting you for the gaokao. LYN: But I was thinking- If I’m going to record a message for him, I want to be different from the others. I need to record something like, “Hello, everyone. I am Liu Yuning. In CMBF, I hope my good friend Yizhe can show off his charms, get a good ranking, and debut in the final group!” That’s standard, right? But I wanted to be different. I wanted to record something that would make people remember WYZ and remember LYN. Maybe even hate me. Because I also have a good friend called Fang Yilun- that is, Yu Shisan (YNGS). I’m saying it this way so you can better put a face to the name. YSS. He was on CMBF last year (actually, 2022), but he only went for one round. (一轮 - yī lún). So… his name was not very auspicious. Fang Yilun, who was only on the show for one round (yī lún). I was thinking of recording one for WYZ, “Hello, everyone. I am Liu Yuning. I’m YZ’s friend and heard he would be attending CMBF. We have a good friend in common, FYL, but he came back after the first round. Therefore, since your name is Wang Yizhe, you- might only be there for one part.” But I was thinking about it and came to the conclusion that wasn’t quite appropriate. One’s Yilun and the other’s Yizhe… that’s not good! So later I thought this joke wouldn’t fly. My friends would have a falling out! So then I just recorded a standard one for him. LYN: I just shouldn’t have thought in that direction in the first place. I don’t know how the competition is going, and I don’t dare to ask him. Of course, I don’t mean to belittle him! When I was on Singer 2019, I came back after one round too, didn’t I. That’s why I’m called… Liu Yining (一宁). I went and very obediently, very serenely (宁静) came back. I went, kept introducing myself- “I am Liu Yining” and came back. Only one round. It’s the same. We’re all the same. Our names just aren’t auspicious. We aren’t suited for competitions.

LYN: Alright friends, it’s about time. I hope you had a relaxing, happy, and wonderful night. It was great to have you and I hope you enjoyed yourself. Let’s meet again in the next stream! If you haven’t yet subscribed to my weibo, please do so. I am Modern Brothers Liu Yuning. I hope we can meet again in the next stream. LYN: I’ll go wash up quickly and review my scenes for tomorrow. Goodnight, everyone!

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

Hii! This is for your ship asks! I love the detail and dedication you put into these, they scratch that hyper fixation itch soo well and your writing is just- Mwa!

For Sawyers (TCM) please :]

Sexuality/pronouns: I go by She/Her (cis), I’m bisexual and on the grayace spectrum, but definitely open to sex. My preference leans towards men, but masc woman rev me up as well lol.

Appearance: I’m 5’2”, 101Ibs, slender, somewhat androgynous build with little curves. I have curly short brown hair, falling a little past my ears. My face is soft and rounded with a sharp-ish jaw line. I would say I'm average but I'm called pretty. My eyes are down turned and blue. My style changes on a whim but mostly I rotate between grunge and an earthy hippie witch style (?) imagine white flowing dresses, earth tones, and pendents lol. Will sometimes wear a binder with more masc outfits, it just gives me joy. Makeup is usually very little day to day, sometimes going for a heavy eyeliner look. I’ve got a good amount of piercings, 3 on each ear, 1 nostril ring, a septum piercing, a vertical labret, and nipple piercings soon to come haha.

Personality: I’m can be very anxious and avoidant when meeting new people but once I’m comfortable I’m a such silly freak weirdo lmao. I overthink a lot due to anxiety. I’ve got a decent vocabulary and enjoy have long existential talks every once in a while. I looove parallel play and should probably mention I have ADHD. Conflicts can be hard for me and I usually go out of my way to avoid them, so I can appear as a pushover- but If I’m pissed I make it known. I love art and I’m decently skilled in it, having been drawing my entire life. I would say my love languages are touch and gift giving, I’ll straight up roll on bitches I love loll, and they’ll be getting so many drawings from me. I love horror movies, trying new foods, coffee, teas, animals, any outdoor activities, the Summer, cuddling, art, talking about special interests, and music (listen to a lot of different stuff- 90’s and 70’s rock, phonk, metal, pop, classical.)

Hobbies: drawing, painting, swimming, hiking, reading, yoga, gaming, watching TV shows, trying new things, listening to music, occasionally smoking pot with friends. Sorry if this was TMI!! Take a much time as you want, I understand you have a buttload of these to do already. And thank you in advance!!

Your TCM ship: Bubba Sawyer

 OK I think that he would love you and your kind of short stature and more androgynous look. I think you would think that your grunge style is extremely cool and I think that all of that would just kind of attract him to you. I mean, we all know that twitch in the movies is kind of more less feminine kind of more androgynous energy. I get from her and she is significantly shorter than him. I feel like that’s kind of, something he would be into so I feel like he would be attracted to you and that aspect and then your personality. I think you would find very endearing and I feel like he’s really anxious when he meets new people too. I mean a lot of people don’t realize I think that he just has a lot of anxiety and especially because he knows he would want to make you feel as welcome as possible because he really is like that with people he cares about. I think he would also find your piercings so cool. (And hot) you guys also are both very conflict avoiding so that’s another thing that I think would work out kind of well for you as long as you kind of acknowledge it when it comes I feel like you guys would have very few conflict in your relationship fighting wise because he’s generally a very agreeable person. I could also totally see you guys. Going on cute dates together and it’s Canon that there’s a small little lake by the Sawyer house so I feel like he would sometimes take you there on a very secluded day or something like that and also he would love if you painted him like a few, painted him at all or something like a flower, he liked or anything like that and gave it to him as a present it would be his new prize possession like he would carry everywhere he would just be so in love with it or if you painted on his mask. He loves receiving things half as much as he loves giving. Anyway, I just think you guys would be very cute together.



[captainvulcant]

ATLA Live Action Review

I will preface this by saying that largely I enjoyed watching ATLA and I would watch a season 2, would even look forward to a season 2.

However, I did have a lot of issues with this series, issues which I don't feel can be solved by saying "well it's a different series it shouldn't be an exact copy paste of the original". If their changes are worse than the original then that is a failing, and there was a lot which was objectively worse. I'll begin with:

Dialogue Are these things written by AI now or something? The dialogue was giving me "I forced an AI to watch x hours of halmark movies and write one for me" but for your standard adventure series. Listen, we have had this already in 100s of other series and films. ATLA is so unique, could we not have kept the dialogue to that style instead of the expositiony "It's my responsibility" style basic adventure hero stuff? At best it was dull, at worst it was actively cringy. I felt that Zuko and Iroh's dialogue was better and most engaging, no real issues there, but only on a couple of occasions did I experience the Gaang's characteristics and dynamic that I was hoping for from the dialogue.

Music Would have very much liked to have heard some East-Asian instruments and music style. The bog-standard western orchestra did the same as mentioned above: it's dull, it's predictable, it didn't bring me into the world it took me out of it. I was metaphorically taking a shot every time the orchestra swelled at a dramatic or poignant moment. The exception was the little Leaves from the Vine motif they dotted in around Iroh, that was wonderful. Could have done with more of that for Aang's emotional moments.

Exposition So much exposition. Imo they shouldn't have shown the air nomads being attacked. We should have seen Aang fly off and then seen the fire nation making its way up the mountain ominously (on foot!! why do the firebenders have bending jet packs now??? this defeats the later plot??? why can everyone fly now????) before cutting to black. If they really wanted to show it it could have been in quick flashbacks as Aang makes his way through the air temple, which I think would have made it feel more personal to Aang and more devastating. As it was I was just reminded of Star Wars through the whole thing (so many Star Wars vibes at the air temple it really threw me off). Dialogue exposition also awful. If they had spent less time explaining every single plot point to the audience like we're stupid and more on the relationship between the characters and character development we might have actually felt like we progressed from episode 1 to 8. Which leads me to:

Characterisation I'm considering making an entirely different post for this honestly, but here it is in brief. I think we really lost something in this series, and for that I blame the 8 episode thing Netflix is obsessed with. The actors did a good job I felt, particularly with a script that was more rote phrases and platitudes than wise words and attitudes. We didn't really get to see friendships developing, they were just there. We didn't see the characters grow, and the issues which they faced and overcame in the series (which worked perfectly well!!!) have been changed for no reason. Sokka's dad was disappointed in him?? Why???? We already have Zuko whose dad is disappointed in him. I love Sokka's original character, I love seeing him getting over his mysogyny. You know what might have been helpful, in 2024 where all studies show that young men who spend time online become more conservative and sexism is rife?? Maybe showing that it's ok to change your views, that it's ok to work with and respect women, that people will still love you, and that it's not always your fault when you're taught stupid shit. That would have been useful. Taking away that aspect of his character meant changing Katara's and Sukis, and not for the better!!!! Like jesus Suki, my poor Suki. She's such a cool character in the animation. She has responsibility, she is competent and cool and knows her place in the world, but is also open to the idea of change. Why did they make her so awkward (original Suki is fun and funny as well) and unsure? And more parent drama?? Again??? Do they only have one plot?

I also felt that by missing key episodes like the Northern Air Temple we really missed out on Aang's character from the animation, and the emotional weight those scenes could have brought. This Aang doesn't goof off, he's already learned his lesson. This Aang doesn't struggle to balance his beliefs as an airbender (the last airbender, the only one who can continue them) with his job as the avatar, he's just 100% up for the fighting with no conflict. This is a huge part of his character's original internal struggle (and a massive plot point later on) and it feels like we lost something by taking it out.

Final Thoughts Once again, I did enjoy the series. I got super emotional at some parts, I particularly enjoyed the first 4 episodes. Overall I liked the casting and I think the actors did a pretty good job and I'm excited to see where this will go in season 2.

But, I do think that we are allowed to criticise and compare things. I'm seeing a lot of people on here being like stop over-analysing things!! No, lol. Firstly, this is tumblr, the over-analysing website. If you want a superficial review go to tiktok. Secondly, if I had one thing to place the blame on for my issues with this series it's that it is more generic and dumbed down than a cartoon made for kids almost 20 years ago. I am not alone in thinking that media is becoming very basic and sanitised (while at the same time becoming more explicit and violent? It's like no we can't have nuance or complex issues but we will show you explicit sex scenes and awful violence) and also it all feels the same. And I do think we should be wary of the homogenisation of media.

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

Hello fellow bmc blog. I would like to request for you to rant about your fav song!! >:)

Oh gods there are a FEW that rotate in my brain at any given time,, like the ones that always have an animatic that I'll never make playing in my head when I listen to them. See the thing is I think less of the song itself and more of like, the cinematography song brings up in my head

ACK I might have to do a few!!! (In no preference order) ((fuck it i might have to do most of them))

More Than Survive

So when we've got a big song focusing on a lot of different characters and ideas I am chasing EVERYTHING around in my enclosure trying to chew on something. Jeremy's monologuing on his way to and on the bus, learning everyone's personality in the hallway, Michael bopping along to music, all of it!! I had food for WEEKS when Claudia's MTS animation dropped like MMMM THATS THE SHIT

Two-Player Game

Shipping fuel aside I love how we get to see Michael and Jeremy's (and Jeremy and Mr. Heere's) dynamic!! Specifically how we get to watch them bounce off each other when Jeremy sings his own verse and their lil back n forth in the second chorus. Plus imagining these two trying to have a conversation while getting swarmed by zombies in-game is just SO FUCKING fun for me!!!

Be More Chill Pt. 1 and 2

SQUIP being a manipulative bastard my beloved,,, the (presumably squip-produced) image of everyone in the mall first berating Jeremy and then later praising him, or rather what he could be if he continues listening to the squip OUGH mans just wants to be liked </3

Upgrade

SQUIP being a manipulative bastard my beloved!!! Like I imagine it also put Jeremy in the right time and place to see Jake and Christine being all cute together to try n fuel Jer's jealousy into listening to it. Like!!! And ok, I get that Loser Geek Whatever was added to give more context into Jer's life to kinda,, Justify why he would want to listen to the squip and that's all well and good! It's not a bad song by any stretch! But to me personally when we get to "should I take the upgrade" and we hear the ensemble just repeating "upgrade upgrade upgrade now now now now now" like,, that in my head is the squip FURTHER pressuring Jeremy and OVERWHELMING him into taking the upgrade to get the voices in his head to stop. (See also Claudia's Upgrade animation ough,,) Is there a part of him that kinda wants to take it anyway? Sure! But the idea of squip doing EVERYTHING it can to ENSURE Jeremy says yes is just!!! Raaagh!!! Evil scheming!!!

Halloween

Similar to MTS I love the chaos!! Of switching between several characters and seeing how everyone else is partying it up!! And this is just me and my Brain Animatic talking but I just love the idea of Jeremy and Jake's dance battle in the og script?? Like ok we all know that the squip would be manipulating Jeremy's body to get him to win but like?? I really would've wanted to see that friendly competition between Jeremy and Jake?? I wanna see them be friends!!! Even if the shit hits the fan literally a few minutes later. SPEAKING OF WHICH

Do You Wanna Hang?

Look I've already done deep analysis on this song in two other posts. And this is more on the scene As A Whole and not just the song itself (it's DYWR in another font, musically there's not a ton else happening) but it's the character interactions, it's squip being a rotten little shit and being MUCH more overt in forcing Jeremy into something he doesn't want. Like the manipulation was always there but this is like, our first look into EVIL evil, like no the squip is NOT a good thing for you. And then the frenzy of Jake showing up and OH SHIT BROOKE'S HERE TOO and jer can only get the briefest apology out before he just DIPS completely and everything is FALLING APART and!!!! Like!!! Yes it's an uncomfy song and an uncomfy scene but that's the POINT and it's SO VITAL to emphasizing that the squip only cares about RESULTS and not the healthiest way for Jeremy to GET them.

Michael in the Bathroom

I feel like a lot of animatics (and the bway version) just water this song down to "Michael sad" instead of really showing his like, Progression of Emotions. Like he's gotta be in sort of despondent shock at first!! He really went through all his research just for Jeremy to walk out on him?? The fuck?? Like yeah he's alone at this party and he doesn't know what to do without a friend there, (i could stay right here or disappear,) but he's petty and resentful about it (and nobody'd even notice at all [...] cuz my buddy kind of left me alone, but I'd rather fake pee than stand awkwardly) and THEN he starts getting sad (everything felt fine when I was half of a pair, but through no fault of mine there's no other half there)

I should probably make this song its own entire post with all the switching between emotions Michael does between lines (he does it A Lot if you ask me) but he's so much more than just sad and mopey!! He's pissed off!! He's frantic!! He's ten thousand different things!! HES MORE THAN JUST SAD!!!! And I feel like that entire SHITSTORM of emotions isn't shown enough!!!

Smartphone Hour

CHAOS CHAOS CHAOS!!! YOU KNOW THE DRILL BY NOW!!! I don't have much else other than like, the latter half of the song where the rumor mill REALLY blows up and everyone's just saying Whatever the fuck about Rich and it's like!!!! OUGH there really aren't enough Smartphone Hour animatics out there!! And even then idk how many of them really capture the true CHAOS of "Hey, one of our classmates burned Jake's fucking house down," and then social media just has a goddamn RIOT!! I was going to put lyric examples here but, it REALLY is just everything after "always be aware of autocorrect" all the way to the end of the song

The Pitiful Children

SQUIP BEING A MANIPULATIVE BASTARD MY BELOVED!!!!!! VILLAIN SONG VILLAIN SONG VILLAIN SONG AAAAAA!!!!!! BARKBARK BARK BARK GRRR GRR RAAGHRR FOAMS AT THE MOUTH RIPS THIS SONG APART WITH MY TEETH RAAAAARRREGG /pos

I don't have the brain to give it more than that it just makes me Insane

The Pants Song

Listen maybe I'm just a filthy Jeremy kinnie (I am) but to see his dad kickstart his life back up because he's worried about his son who just Called Him The Fuck Out is just!! 🤌🤌🤌 and the way he gets Michael in on it because he KNOWS that if anyone's gonna get through to Jeremy, it's gonna be the one that knows him better than anyone else!!! And like, we actually see a pretty good chunk of Michael's character here too??? Arguably more than mitb??? They both care about Jeremy so much!!!

The Play

It's a big ensemble piece again you know I'm totally feral for it!!! This one might just also need its own post too bc goddamn it's like a 12 minute scene with all the dialogue!!! Like with the squip finally showing its cards and revealing its true intentions!!! Seeing the squipped versions of all the other kids while Jeremy and Michael finally team up again!!! Oh god and the fight,, the squip blocking Jeremy from saying sorry,, making him fight Michael, GODS there's so much to unpack in that twenty second conversation alone!!!! And like can we talk about the terror of the "I just feel so connected to you guys right now" when they swarm Michael!!! And him having to WATCH Jeremy be tempted by squipped Christine?? Facing that he might have to go through the grief of losing his best friend AGAIN???? FUCK I LOVE THIS SHOW

Voices in my Head

Ensemble joins again babeyyyyy!! Like seriously I just love seeing everyone's distinct ways of hyping Jeremy up!!! Mr. Heere's cheesy old school approach! Michael pointing out something that's not superficial! Rich's innuendo! Jenna and Brooke being total sweethearts!! Chloe's backhanded advice (she's so fucking funny holy shit)!! AN ACTUAL LOOK INTO JAKE BEING A TOTAL BRO!!!

Not only all that, but the way that Jeremy kinda,, foregoes everyone's advice and does his own thing!! He ignores the voices telling him what to do and says "what's on his mind," AND THE ELUDING TO THE SQUIP STILL BEING THERE BUT!! The conscious decision to shut that voice down!! And this spawns like, my favorite line from the entire show

"So many voices in my head, and they can yell and hurt like hell but I know I'll be fine [...] of the voices in my head the loudest one is mine"

MY EXCLUSION OF ILPR, SQUIP SONG, DYWR, MTS REPRISE (both of them), AND AGTIKBI DOESN'T MEAN I DONT LIKE ANY OF THESE SONGS!!! I'm sure I could find a lot to chew on if I went after dywr, even though it's more or less The Joke Song of the entire show but YEAH THOSE ONES DEFINITELY HAVE MERIT and I might even rb this later with additions but THIS POST IS ALREADY SUPER LONG AND I KINDA BLEW THIS ASK OUT OF THE WATER BUT XNDJSKSNDH

[louthingg]

hello chat so ive been having far too many anxiety attacks for my own good lately so i will be spreading awareness. ( MENTALLY WELL PEOPLE ARE ENCOURAGED TO READ THIS )

what is an anxiety attack ? an anxiety attack is a response to stress or other environmental factors. usually these factors or stressors are specific things, but sometimes ( like for me ) anxiety attacks may appear or happen without any noticeable trigger.

how does an anxiety attack differ from a panic attack ? firstly, they are NOT THE SAME THING. panic attacks are much more intense in a much more condensed period of time. they do have similar symptoms but the symptoms for anxiety attacks tend to be less intense and last over a much longer period of time. panic attacks typically last anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour and usually have no apparent trigger. anxiety attacks can last for hours to weeks and sometimes even to months, although there tend to be more identifiable triggers. still, they can sometimes be difficult to tell apart for the outsider.

what does an anxiety attack feel like / entail ? an anxiety attack includes symptoms such as:

- changes in heart rate ( such as a pounding heart or a heart rate above normal )

- sweating

- a feeling of impending danger

- shortness of breath or changes in breathing

- trembling in parts of the body ( usually limbs )

- difficulty eating or sleeping

- difficulty sitting still

all of these symptoms can last anywhere from an hour to weeks on end and can fluctuate in intensity.

what does an anxiety attack look like from to outsider ? obviously, signs and masking varies greatly from person to person but for me, the most common signs that i am aware of others noticing are:

- gasping or inhaling sharply

- excessive yawning or swallowing

- zoning out for unusually long periods of time

- talking too much or too quickly

- stuttering or having difficulty speaking

- general restlessness

- ticcing more than usual ( keep in mind i do have regular anxiety related tics and not everyone has these )

- crying

- clenching and unclenching muscles

most of these signs, as you’ve probably noticed, rely on a persons typical behavior. if you know a person has anxiety attacks and you notice something out of the ordinary, its better to check on them than to disregard it completely.

how can i help someone having an anxiety attack ? what helps is going to differ from person to person. if a person tells you they have anxiety attacks, ask then what you can do to help instead of asking them in the throes of one. some people might not even want help and you have to respect that as pushing is going to make them feel worse. even still, here are things that help me and many i know:

- offering going on a walk with them

- asking if they want to try and find a less overwhelming area if the environment is overstimulating

- offering fidgets

- getting them water

- general quiet distractions such as watching their favorite show or movie or putting on songs they like ( only if they say its ok )

how can i help myself if im having an anxiety attack ?

- putting on headphones or earplugs

- taking walks

- listening to quiet music

- doing breathing exercises ( specifically inhale ( 4 ), hold ( 2 ), exhale ( 6 ) )

- grounding myself

- doing simple games ( i really like word games so wordle and the strands are my personal go - to )

- sitting on the floor up against a wall

- drinking water slowly

- standing in front of an open fridge or freezer ( weird, i know, but it works )

that was quite the essay i wrote there but yeah thats about it. hope this helped someone ?

[badwolfoncomingstorm]

Let's talk about Mean Girls

Ok, look. Admittedly I have trauma regarding the original Mean Girls movie. I was in high school in the early 2000s as this movie came out, so I was forced to watch that movie so many times I grew to despise it. I thought every character was a terrible person (and still do), and my high school experience was so far removed from that movie I couldn't even begin to relate.

Fast-forward to about a year or two ago when I first experienced the music from Mean Girls the Musical. While nothing earth shattering, it is admittedly WAY better than one would expect from Mean Girls the Musical. I am particularly fond of "I See Stars," "I'd Rather Be Me," and "Fearless."

Now I have to admit, I have not seen the musical. I had tickets to go see it, but when the day came, I was too disincentivized to actually see it because of my hate for the movie. I have seen some clips on YouTube, but that's it.

So when they made Mean Girls the Musical the Movie (lol), I checked it out from my local library (Go libraries!!! They have all sorts of cool shits like DVDs of movies you kind of want to see, but refuse to spend any money on. Support you local libraries!!). Here are some of my thoughts.

It's cool they got the Broadway Regina to reprise her role. I wish more of the stars were from the Broadway cast, particularly Barrett Wilbert Weed (ugh her voice is so good.) Auliʻi Cravalho is a pretty good replacement though. All the singers are great. The acting's pretty decent too.

2. Lol, those are supposed to be High Schoolers??????

(The Part where I rant about songs since it is a musical after all)

3. First, I really miss Fearless. I think you lose a lot of Gretchen's character when you lose that song. You also lose a lot of the message of being, well, Fearless, and not being afraid to be yourself.

4. The loss of the song "More is Always Better." I do think this is another loss of character this time for Cady and Aaron. It's one of the turning points for her and well, frankly gives Aaron any character at all besides being an object of desire who is apparently decent at math. Finally, it gives us the set-up for "I See Stars." That song makes way less sense without this one. (Cut "Sexy" instead if you need to cut a song since that one has absolutely no plot or character relevance. So Karen is dumb and hot. We knew that. But no, we'd rather have hot 20 somethings skimpily clad dancing sexily than deeper character development 🙄)

5. The adaptation of "I'd Rather be Me." Oof. This song is the very first one I heard on the Broadway soundtrack, and is basically the main reason I looked in to the show at all. It's a REAL banger, and Barrett Wilbert Weed KILLS it. This is basically my life motto and I can listen to this song on repeat for a long time. It's a power song about the power of just being yourself and not being afraid of what others think of you. And the movie does it.... weird? Look, I get that it's a movie and you can't just have the character stand there and sing to the camera, but this is a song by Janis to the girls of the high school. And by the end, they are singing with her, agreeing with her message. But here, she's only with the girls for the first verse. Then she's just running around singing to the camera while barging through random classrooms for no reason. And in the movie, she's singing it to be petty and bitchy, rather than the self-confidence of "I don't need you and I won't stoop to your level, and I am perfectly ok with just being myself, no matter what." I highly recommend you check out this video. It's a much better portrayal of this song.

6. Ok, "I See Stars." Like, "I'd Rather Be Me," it starts off great with Cady using it to apologize to her classmates and tell them how beautiful they all are. But then she... stops? Just stops singing the song and some rando takes over singing it in the background???? That song is like the core message of your story. It's about how EVERYONE is a beautiful and unique. And it culminates with the whole school joining in for a powerful moment of acceptance of both yourself and others around you. Instead, you get some lame dialog and Janis and Damian shoe-horning in the message of "Be Nice" at the end. Just let them sing the song!!! It does such a better job of conveying the message without beating you condescendingly over the head with it.

7. (Ok, it was fun that they got Tina Fey and Tim Meadows back. Also a Lindsay Lohan cameo. Nice homage to the original).

I get why a lot of the changes were made. It's hard to adapt a Broadway production into film and I'm sure a lot of these things were cut for time. I know I have trauma surrounding this story, but honestly I would say skip it and just go check out the soundtrack of the Broadway version instead. There's basically nothing new added to the story with this adaptation and while I appreciate the ability to check out some version of the musical without a show needing to be playing in my city and needing to buy tickets, but honestly, I didn't have that good of time. I was playing on my phone the whole time and whenever I did look up for a song I love, I was just disappointed.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk lol

[starlene]

"Keep them coming"? Ok! 1, 3, 6, 33, 48, 31!

More! More! More! Thanks!

1. How did you first get into musical theatre?

Answered.

3. What is the newest musical you love?

Änglagård (2023). I admit it's a bit of a weird relationship I have with this show – I think there's so much wrong with it, especially when it comes to dramaturgy, and that feels very frustrating to me. But I'm also seeing it for the third time next week, can't wait, and listen to the cast recording all the time.

...though I guess that's more or less my relationship with Jekyll & Hyde too, so maybe it's actually exactly on brand of me to love Änglagård. I can't stop myself from enjoying these problem shows.

6. Who is your favourite musical theatre director?

Answered, but let's talk about a close second.

Tuomas Parkkinen. Of course. When you direct a production of Jekyll & Hyde that worms its way directly into my brain, takes over a large chunk of it for over a decade, and absolutely refuses to leave, you're a forever favourite, no matter what you do afterwards. And that's not to say he hasn't directed other musical productions that I've enjoyed, too – at his best, he has a mischievous (sometimes to the point of bordering chaotic energy) but at the same time extremely well thought out vibe that I really like! Case in point: Evita (2020), gone too soon but never forgotten.

About that Så som i himmelen, though... I've been throwing so much shade on it, I can't not mention it here. Of course, since I refused to actually go and see it based on everything I heard about it, I don't think it'd be quite fair of me to hold it against him. But oh man. Let's just say he apparently sees my favourite musical from a perspective I can't even begin to understand, and probably vice versa.

33. Talk about a performance in a role that you can't forget.

I still think about Morgan Alling as Harold Zidler daily. Just spin him around in my brain. He was perfect in a way I don't really have words for, he just made me like the character so much, I wanted to watch him all the time and lift him from the stage and put him in my pocket so I could put him on my bookshelf back home and always keep him?? Just so enjoyable to watch every second he was onstage. I loved him. I want him back.

48. What's the worst musical you've ever seen? What made it so bad?

The Prince of Egypt was such a thorough downgrade of every aspect of the source material that I doubt... well, I hope no other musical will ever be able to let me down like that.

Maybe, had I seen it without any prior knowledge of the movie and the story of Moses and whatever, it wouldn't be the absolute worst I've seen – it did have some nice choreography, and the original songs will always be bangers, even when butchered like some of them were – but when compared to the movie and my sky-high expectations, and then the fact that we went all the way to Denmark to see it... for me, it really doesn't get any worse than that.

31. Is there a musical that means a lot to you that isn't one of your favourites? What made you feel that way about it?

Cats. I don't think I would be the person I am today without it, really, but I also don't consider myself a fan. I had an intense three-month relationship with it back in the day, and that was it, pretty much.

Ask me some musical theatre questions for old and cynical musical theatre fans

[jojotichakorn]

I need chain for game

damn, well, this one is a little more challenging, cause we know significantly less about him than anyone else, even pun (i feel like). but thanks for sending him in! 🥰

choose a character and ask about my headcanons here, if you like

🏳️‍🌈 a sexuality headcanon

bi (+ needed some time to accept the fact that he doesn't just like girls).

🏳️‍⚧️ a gender headcanon

that is a cis man, your honour.

😇 a headcanon about their religion/lack thereof

almost actively atheist.

🎶 a headcanon about music

he lowkey has a really normie taste. his most listened to artists are something like ed sheeran and coldplay.

💤 a headcanon about their sleep

he manages a surprisingly healthy, early bird sleep schedule most of the time. 10 pm to 6 am like a clock.

💝 a headcanon about their love language

acts of service. damn, we really have so many acts of service people on this show. well, it's the one thing that's easy to do without having to admit your feelings lmao. he just constantly indulges pun and does whatever he wants, even when it's a little silly.

🫂 a friendship headcanon

i think he and pun are early childhood best friends. like met in kindergarten type shit.

💔 an angsty headcanon

he genuinely had a hard time reconciling with the fact that he likes guys (not in a general homophobia way, in an internalised homophobia way), especially because he figured it out thanks to his crush on his best friend.

🪢 a headcanon about their family

he has a bunch of siblings. like four or five. and he is the oldest or the second oldest.

🌟 a headcanon about their desires/wishes

he gives me the vibe of someone who is trying to "tick off all boxes" in an imaginary list of what a "proper life" is supposed to be like. you know, finish high school, graduate uni with honours, get a high-paying job, get married, have kids, that whole thing. so i'm not sure how often he actually looks within and asks "ok, but what do i want?" pun might be the first thing he truly let himself want, without looking at the "list".

🥇 a headcanon about what they’re best at

i definitely think he is the best at studying. q does also get incredible grades, but that's just because he's essentially automatically perfect at his major. chain like actually studies and puts a lot of work into uni.

❤️‍🔥 a romantic headcanon

he isn't a particularly romantic person. let me put it this way: on the spectrum between "giant, big-gesture proposal in public" (with prior consent) and [while on the couch watching a movie] "hey, we should get married", he falls firmly on the right side. don't get me wrong, though, he would not neglect his partner by any means. he would take care of them and love them. he just wouldn't be big on the more traditionally romantic stuff.

😺 an animal related headcanon

he is a dog person.

😶 a random headcanon!

he helps pun study for his polisci exams and genuinely thinks pun would be an amazing addition to the field of politics.

[thestarsarecool]

@fujoshi-simone-weil tagged me in a "things to get to know me" game! Fun, thank you! You have the best url on tumblr. Also, someone else tagged me in this game, like, a month ago and I kept meaning to do it (it was on my to-do list and everything!) but I forgot and now it has disappeared from my notifications. Also, I don't 100% remember who it was. But still, I wholeheartedly apologize to that person for neglecting their tag. I don't love you any less. Anyway, on with the show!

Last song I listened to: Answer Me from The Band's Visit. You can take the theater kid out of the theater but you can't take the theater out of the kid. Or maybe you can. I don't know. I am taking a class on songwriting for musical theater right now so I am listening to more musical theater than I have in a while, though not as much as I did in like 2019.

Favorite color: Purple!

Currently watching: Nothing really? I'm not much of a TV or movie person. I just finished watching the Fionna and Cake TV show which was surprisingly good. My siblings and I watched all of Adventure Time together a while back (we like to rewatch cartoons together), so we all facetimed to watch the finale, which was really nice. I'd missed them :)

Last movie I watched: Hmm. I don't remember. Let's think...nope, still don't remember. Sorry film nerds of tumblr.com. I wish I was as cool as you.

Currently reading: Psychoanalysis: The Impossible Profession by Janet Malcolm! It's a really fascinating look into the underlying contradictions of psychoanalysis and also a great overview of the history, but it's all done through an actually engaging character study! I think it was originally a lengthy piece in The New Yorker, published around 1980. Also, I just started The Tale of Two Cities, which is very fun because the only Dickens I have ever read before is Oliver Twist!

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: I want to say savory, but the answer is actually sweet. I put wayyyyyy too much sugar in my tea for me to be picking anything but sweet.

Last thing I googled: The last thing I googled was "Ray Donovan Music" and I will explain why because, yes, I know that that doesn't make any sense. So, I am finishing up work on this song I am writing and whenever I get to that "almost done" stage, I post to r/Songwriting to get feedback because it's fun and occasionally helpful. And someone in the comments said that my song sounds like if "the little girl from Moneyball and Ray Donovan had a brainchild with Regina Spector [sic]." Which, like, ok. Let's unpack that. The comparison to Regina Spektor is very kind. I have gotten that a few times, though I think Reddit just doesn't know any other women who write songs on the piano. The little girl from Moneyball is such a funny comparison to me. Like, she's not a songwriter? She's just Brad Pitt's fictional child. But like, sure, I get what they mean. I sing kind of light and talky sometimes which makes it sound childlike, I guess, like a Moe Tucker sort of thing. But Ray Donovan??? I literally do not know what this commenter is talking about. All I can find for who Ray Donovan is the guy from the TV show. Like, does TV criminal Ray Donovan write songs or something? Is my song particularly evocative of the Ray Donovan soundtrack? Did this commenter mash together Ray Davies and Donovan's names? I asked him who he is talking about, but received no reply. Someone save me from this hell. Who is Ray Donovan and why did he birth my song?

Current Obsession: Still The Beatles, I guess, though it's not nearly as debilitating as it was a year ago. Which is quite nice, actually! I can actually be productive now.

Current Thing I'm Working On: Well, I've just about finished up the aforementioned song! All it needs is a title. Also, I'm writing a paper on The Epic of Gilgamesh, which is fun. The guy who wrote my translation is a professor at my uni so I may go to his office hours to ask him about it!

Ok, I tag @torchlitinthedesert, @idontwanttospoiltheparty, @veidelon, @theallenklein, and @mydaroga. I know this one already made the rounds though (I think) so no need to do it if you already did it. Or, really, no need to do it at all.

Cheers, everyone!

[eutravels]

Rani Takes on the World : Beyond Bannerman Road (1)

After watching the minisode from 2020 called Farewell Sarah Jane, you can't help but think you want to see all these characters back. Lucky for me, when I saw it, this boxset had just come out, and I have to say I was impressed.

Every story is different and better than the last, the characters' evolution is perfectly managed considering the big gap between the TV show and the events from these three stories. It really has the ambition to be a true successor to the Sarah Jane Adventures by putting Rani as the front woman and working on very qualitative scripts.

I honestly cannot wait for the next one to come out and I sincerely hope it catches up on the high expectations this boxset helped build within me.

Here is a story by story review, beware some spoilers here and there, even though I made my best to make it spoiler free.

Here Today

I only have one word for this one: wow. First of all, the time loop is well executed and the urgence of the situation is very well conveyed by the twists, the characters and the music.

I can't not mention the jaw-dropping scene at the end of the first time loop. Absolutely chilling. You have to listen to it to understand how much of a shock it is.

You don't have a second to yourself when listening to this one, the story just takes you and you have to get along.

Destination: Wedding

I'm not gonna lie, it was kind of hard for me to get into this one at first but in the end I loved it so much more than the pilot! You can easily guess the solution to the mystery but never without a doubt.

Gita is just the perfect comic character, every single sentence of her is an instant punchline, and she's also got a lot of heart.

Rani seems to be kind of in a young adult life crisis, because once again she's comparing herself to her same aged peers, even more so in this one with the pressure of her mother onto her. These are themes that resonated with me a lot since I am approximately the same age as Rani is supposed to be in this and I actually am going through all of this.

Also, I wasn't sure I understood it correctly in the first story but now it's clear: Phoenix is a non-binary person! Yay! And they're dating Clyde, a major character!

In the end this one was pretty enjoyable even though it had a lot less action and tension than the one before, but the character work and the mysterious plot make it an absolute banger!

The Withching Tree

Wow, this one was definitely my favourite! So chilling! I started listening to it during a night road trip and it was really frightening!

The plot twist is really surprising and every new happening is a shock.

I really liked that this episode was kind of an episode of Rani's podcast, I hope they do that on the second series as well.

It was very well orchestrated to make the tension build up to the great reveal, which is so satisfying to listen to. Honestly a great piece of drama.

This is the first time I had heard about Tyler Steele because I didn't listen to any of the Torchwood stuff, so at first I was like "Who does he think he is? Why is he so ok with aliens?" but then I looked him up and it made a lot more sense.

I also loved that the Blue Box Files were being mentioned since I'm also currently listening to Doctor Who Redacted so it was a really nice touch from Big Finish to make Rani and Samira talk about them!

[dorakonia]

ok so this was the draft i was talking about earlier skdfjhsdf

giant wall of text incoming but it's been on my mind for the longest time now and i had to get it off my chest ksjfsdfgdfg

i feel so insanely tired and overwhelmed lately. istg, ever since i started at my new job earlier this year, i have like... no fucking energy whatsoever whenever a workday is over. like... i'm very happy that i've found a place to work at that takes my 'needs' into account - i'm allowed to take as many small breaks as i want, i can listen to music all day, i get to sit in an office where i don't have to see or talk to anyone, the work that i do requires me to sit by the computer and the task itself very easy, and i only work 5 hours 3 days a week. it's like heaven, and yet i feel so insanely tired whenever i get home.

i haven't had a 'proper' job since 2019 and it really shows. it's fucking hard to get back into a routine like this and still manage to maintain my free time in an efficient way. all i do when i get home is play video games and watch yt, and sometimes take a nap if i'm really really tired. and then i ofc have to maintain my apartment and make sure my cats are taken care of ( although at this point it feels like they are taking care of me by simply being there to keep me company DSKJFHSDJFH ).

it's... a lot, i'm ngl. writing on tumblr hasn't really come to me as easily lately as it used to, not to mention i've really been struggling with keeping in touch with people in general ( although that's not something new ksdjfhsdf i've always struggled with that ) aside from the people i'm closest to, both irl and online.

this blog has always been set to low activity, ever since i first made it over a year ago, and i more or less have only interacted with people that i have an established verse with because it's easier for me to muster up the willpower to sit down and write when i know what it is that i'm replying to - and even then it sometimes take me a while to get to it depending on what it is. and considering i'm not fully caught up with twst yet, replying to already established verses have only been that much more convenient and easy for me to do. this has nothing to do with me not wanting to talk to and interact with new people, believe me, there's nothing that i want more - but given my current situation as a whole, it has just been really really hard for me to prioritize new interactions.

it is not my intention to suddenly go poof while in the middle of a conversation or plotting session - sometimes i just can't bring myself to talk to new people because it requires a lot of my energy because it means that i'm putting myself in a situation where i have to get to know someone new. don't get me wrong, i love meeting new people and getting to know them, it's just that the energy and effort i have to put into it drains my battery way faster than what it would 'normally' do for others. there is only so much i can do in terms of getting better at socializing in general, because i can't control my own battery. what i can do though is to try and getting back to people i've unintentionally left on read without feeling like 'too much time has passed so now i feel awkward talking to them again' or something along those lines. because lord knows feeling insecure about that has been a real issue too sdkjfhsdf and sometimes i even feel scared of showing that i'm online and active on the dash or discord because i don't want people to think that i'm ignoring them or that it's on purpose.

but i know that not everyone has all the patience in the world, and that's totally valid. especially if i vanish for weeks without a word. but i want people to know that if i suddenly go poof for a while and then suddenly appears again to talk to you, it's not because i'm bored and have nothing better to do, or because i want something from you. it's because i needed some time to recharge and think of ways to better formulate my words in my reply to you- especially when i'm talking to new people. it's not a very good first impression, i know, and i don't blame you for thinking the worst of me if i suddenly stop replying and haven't given you an explanation as to why that is. sometimes i try to say something like "i need some time to recharge and think about this and i'll get back to you when i can" just so there won't be any misunderstandings, but sometimes i don't for whatever reason and that's totally on me.

but sometimes people in general simply don't have the patience, or even understands what i go through on a daily basis to even be able to manage things that are otherwise simple and trivial to most people - and i completely understand that. i understand that everyone is different, and i understand that i will not mesh well with everyone and vice versa.

but the reason for this giant wall of text is mostly just that things have been more tough than usual for me lately, and i want to put it out there that it's never my intention to leave you hanging - if we're mutuals, it means that i want to write with you when there is an opening of opportunity for me to do so. but i also want to put it out there that you are of course free to look after yourself too, and if you feel like we aren't going to be compatible writing partners then i will obviously not hold it against you if you no longer want to plot and/or write together - and you are free to softblock me whenever you want.

i have oftentimes been thinking about if indie rp really is for me or not - even though i've done it for a couple of years now, and i've often considered putting it on the shelf all together and just turn to 1x1s and possibly group rps on discord. but i feel like the issue with this is that leaving tumblr rp would take away any chances i have of meeting new people to write with and become friends with, and it would simply just make my social situation worse than what it already is. i know that certain parts of this post makes it sound like i'm leaving or whatever but i promise that i'm not skdjfhsf i just wanted to put my thoughts and feelings out there in the hopes of being better understood and avoiding misunderstandings ( because that is one of the many things i need to get better at ). and if you've made it this far, regardless of what you feel is the best thing for you to do in terms of being mutuals with me, i'm still insanely grateful that you have taken your time to read my post✨

[goldendiie]

ok i'm going to be an adult and give a little explanation as to why i've been missing for three months now. under the cut. heart.

BEFORE ANY OF YOU PANIC. I'm not quitting. I'm not saying goodbye.

I'm going to preface and say that I have been writing sarge/fillmore fanfic since I was fourteen years old. I am turning twenty-one at the end of the month. This December marks my seventh year of running this blog-- almost all of my teenage years were devoted to making cars fandom content.

I've realized, only recently, that I've trapped myself into a box by doing this. It was fun, for the first couple of years; I would just write whatever the hell I wanted, I would take requests, I would do anything. And then, once I started working on The Third Blink, and studying the 1960s, I realized that history was something I wanted to do professionally. I finished TB, and then I started working passively on Americana. I wanted to fully encompass the historical narrative of the peace movement, and make the argument that it self-destructed itself. More than anything, I wanted to spread knowledge. This is not to say that I’m not still having fun-- I have a blast doing this, and I always always always love talking to you guys about the AU. It's wonderful to know that I've created such an active and interested group based solely on the pursuit of this historical question-- even if it is through the lens of gay cars.

Now, four years after this all started, I'm waking up in that aforementioned box. The counterculture has become my entire life: I have dozens of books and resources saved for whenever I become an instructor, I'm an avid 60s alt fan, and I have an arsenal of potential theses that I want to approach in graduate school. But, in those four years, I haven't given myself the opportunity to explore more. I've been so headstrong about the 1960s that I failed to realize the vast richness of other historical pursuits. I was almost ignorant of them. This has been a hard epiphany to tackle. I've built my life around this, and it's hard to realize that I need to move on. (Alexa, play Landslide by Fleetwood Mac).

And, weirdly, South Park (of all things) is what brought me to the realization that I'm trapped in this box. I started watching the show, and then I started listening to different music, and enjoying different media. It was the most new stuff that I've ever consumed at once. At first, it was kind of terrifying: I had been one thing for the longest time. Once I started noticing that I was changing, growing into a different person, I didn't know what to do. But changing and growing is never a bad thing-- actually, it's the most human thing that anyone can do. Allowing myself this growth rather than continuing to confine myself into this box has been really, really awesome for me. I started laughing more, and taking things less seriously. I have new historical questions, and I feel as though I have been filled with life again. No longer am I disillusioned with my fanfic writing, or my professional work. I'm excited.

When I wrote the "everything happens for a reason" line in The Third Blink, I never thought much of it... until now. I think I was meant to find the cars fandom at fourteen (maybe earlier-- I made this blog at fourteen, but I was definitely in it for maybe a year before that), meant to start writing sargemore, meant to ask historical questions about the nature of their relationship-- All because it led me to where I am today. I'm applying to graduate school in December, and I still intend to write about the peace movement for my doctoral thesis. I think the same thing can be said about that life-changing epiphany that South Park (ugh) gave me: I've finally begun to realize that nothing is really that serious, and that changing and turning into someone you never expected to be is a good (even great!) thing.

After a certain point, I have to break out of this box. I can't always be Goldie, cars fanfic writer. I have to become myself, and I have to grow into my career and research pursuits. Becoming a better version of yourself is never a bad thing; nor is living your life free of any expectations. And, at any rate, a wise man once said: "It's futile to resist change."

So, I'm not saying goodbye. Not yet, anyway. I'm just taking a few steps back, becoming more passive. I still fully intend to finish Americana (and, maybe Nowhere, if I ever get around to working on it again), but I am not putting myself under any pressure to do so. It's been a long, crazy, incredible ride... But I think my retirement will be coming soon.

If you read all of that, thank you. I know this isn't stuff that you guys wanted to read, but the longer I went without saying anything, the worse I felt. Thank you.

Like I said, I'll still be around-- just not frequently.

Love y'all. -G.