#it's not meant to be coherent

[voiice-of-the-soul]

It irritates me alot when people say that making medic more compassionate is ''missing the point of his character'' when he is literally shown to be in the comics.... did you miss the part where he showed concern for both sniper and miss pauling's well being in comic 5 and 6.

His actions are a combination of genuine attachment + clinical interest and these things do not cancel out one another. He is always pushing boundaries and going against the grain and i think this is what led to him losing his license in the first place. He felt stifled by the rules imposed on him.

He is shown to be extremely passionate so it makes sense that he would use his endless fascination with medicine as a way to show his affection. He loves his friends so he will find a way to make them borderline indestructible. Malpractice is his love language.

[originalartblog]

HOW THE TURNTABLES

[rainyinautumn]

alright with wild life ep. 4 coming out soon it's time for me to start talking winner predictions. in order to understand my bet, let's first understand why past winners won—and, for bonus effect, why another player who I think really had a shot ultimately lost.

GRIAN. The traffic crown typically falls on the head of whichever player is most able to bend and break the rules to their advantage. 3rd Life, as the archetypal Life Series with the fewest rules to manipulate, was won by the man who understood (and broke) them best—their inventor. Throughout the series, I think Impulse demonstrated a similar cunning and could have been able to pull off a win. His error was failing to establish trust with his allies in a series that was defined by its faction loyalty.

SCOTT. With the introduction of the Boogeyman, Last Life demanded a winner with a level head. With favorable relationships paving the path to regaining lives, there was very little wiggle room for more aggressive, risk-taking players, making this season favor players with high survivability. Continuing the trend of rule breakers, Scott was the only player to weigh the odds and refuse to act on the Boogeyman curse—which ultimately paid off for him. Similarly calculating and loyal is Etho, who lost this win by aligning himself with a volatile group that failed to lend him the stability Scott had throughout the series.

PEARL. It was so, so much easier to die in Double Life than any other series, and so its winner was the player who proved to be able to survive without a soulmate at all. The thing about Life Series gimmicks is that they are always, always the thing that kills you—as such, refusing to engage with them as intended elevates one's chances of victory. Such is the case with Pearl. Cleo also failed to engage with the Double Life mechanic as intended, but lost (ironically) due to her ability to forgive and the endgame belief that aligning with her soulmate was the wisest move.

MARTYN. Limited Life introduced the ability to live longer by killing, and as such encouraged players to pursue maximal violence with minimal risk through traps (namely, falling TNT minecarts). If playing by these rules led to a win, the victor would have been crowned on Skynet. Instead, Martyn broke the season-long strategy and a few series expectations along the way to opt for an absolutely brutal PvP win, which he pulled off by being the only one crazy enough to try. A good few other risk takers had a solid shot of winning this season—namely Joel. Unlike Martyn, however, Joel was unwilling to gamble with the permanent death of his teammates, and this soft spot led to his demise.

SCAR. On the surface level, Secret Life's gimmick asked its contestants to be good at the game—to be good at keeping their mouths shut, good at following directions, and good at reading other players. The kicker with all of the tasks, however, is that the gimmick is the thing that kills you, and what the tasks actually asked was for players to be bad at the game in one way or another. This made earnest attempts at success by far the most risky path forward (especially once yellow names started being able to guess tasks), and as such, Scar's continually baffling behavior worked in his favor. Similarly incomprehensible, Skizz's playstyle lent itself well to this series—however, he was simply too likable. The secretive nature of the tasks in this season brewed a hostile atmosphere in which trustworthiness made one a threat, and the Heart Foundation painted a target on him that he was unable to shed.

So. Who do I think is winning (and almost winning) Wild Life?

GEM. Of all the players in the Snailpocalypse, Gem was the only one to doggedly refuse to fear and avoid her snail. Wild Life is designed to breed uncertainty and chaos in its players, and her refusal to give in to this makes her a good contender for the crown. However, other players have begun to notice this, which could place her in hot water. My second winner pick is BigB—although more willing to engage with the wildcards, BigB has always thrived in the strange and peculiar, making him less outright afraid of them and putting him in position to potentially rise above them down the line.

[carbonbasedmatter]

there's sadly not a lot of content of them together but troy and annie's friendship is so important to me. I feel like we don't talk about them enough outside of general trobedison. they're two people who liked the idea of each other at some point for kind of superficial reasons but grew to appreciate each other as their own people and not just this goal of someone to "pull" the more they got to know each other. honestly glad that the writers dropped the ship cus it's so much better than it would've been if it was romantic. instead we got this cool thing where they both kind of helped each other grow into themselves and cope with changes.

the talk they had at the end of mixology certification reflecting on everything that happened after annie's sudden crisis about what she wanted to do with her life was so sweet.

ANNIE: ... I did it because I didn't wanna be me. I did it because i'm not sure who I am. Admit it- we went to school together for four years, and you didn't even know me.

TROY: Yeah, but I know you now, You're Annie...You like puzzles and little monsters on your pencil and some guy named Mark Ruffalo. You're a fierce competitor and a sore loser and you expect everybody to be better than who they are and you expect yourself to be better than everyone. Which is cool.

This was the episode where Troy realized that becoming an adult isn't this big, dramatic change and the people he looked up to were just as confused and imperfect as he was. He decides on his own that the grown up thing to do is to get everyone home safely rather than drinking. Here he's the one reassuring Annie, telling her how she does still have time to explore the world on her own terms, not knowing her well back then was his own loss.

I really like that about their dynamic how Troy kind of helps Annie realize she can just...relax and be herself without being judged, seeing her high school crush that she always wanted to impress casually building pillow forts and speaking in only movie references with his best friend. We don't see any immediate drastic changes in her that it seems unnatural but she's definitely more comfortable weird in her own way after moving into 303 (For ex her making Abed film missing lover clips for her)

I love how much they both care about abed too...in different ways. troy matches his weirdness, giving him an escape from what the rest of world thinks while annie shows him he CAN leave the world of simulations and scenarios, being different from someone but still having them respect you as a friend and build a close relationship with them letting him connect with the world. But they actually care about him letting him show a vulnerable side that he doesn't with a lot of the other members of the study group.

I also think the gay himbo+ smart but insane lesbian dynamic is v funny yea

anyways here are some silly photos that'll hopefully help get my point across

[sun-marie]

LRB but I'm replaying BG3 and Gale being on the knife's edge of Wholesome/"Dirty" is what makes him soo interesting to me. Like this is a man who, in two different versions of the same scene, can either sweetly and gently make love to your tav in a typical setting which transitions to a tasteful fade-to-black, or brings your tav's spirit along for a transcendent experience where he literally duplicates part of himself so he can have more parts to touch their parts in some crazy astral-soup sky world. And both are treated like valid expressions of his love!! Like the range they allowed him to express, he's not one or the other, he's both

[cdroloisms]

thinking about c!dream earlier on in the server just makes me sad man. like, c!dream has never been a perfect character. he's always been flawed, always been a bit of an asshole, always had control issues. but also he knew that. he tried to work on that. he and tommy were friends, despite being flawed people with their own issues that would bump into conflicts because of the ways that they differed. c!dream tried, god, he tried; he wasn't even on the server, when the drug van happened, and walked into a place with someone who was practically a stranger to him building a wall and calling for war and having turned half the people dream knew against him, apparently, for no reason that he could've known at the time, and he had looked straight at tommy and tubbo and asked if that was what they really wanted when wilbur told them that there was no such thing as dual citizenship. he tells tommy when he has to sell a disc for spirit's leather even though tommy had surrendered the discs to him at the end of the revolution because he knows it'll matter to him. he and tommy truce, multiple times, and c!dream gets tangled into conflicts that literally don't involve him repeatedly and gets targeted Because He's Dream repeatedly and he plays along with that trivia contest and he gives gifts to fundy and tommy after terrorizing them a little for fun and he plays along with the dreamon thing and he keeps getting pulled into fights that weren't his but tries to make them a little more fair when they get him involved. he fucks around with tommy and they have fun, they're friends, and when he and wilbur look like they're in danger dream is one of the first to find them and lend them real, practical, valuable aid. he calls himself "Big D" in that book and he tells the man that wrote him as a tyrant that he doesn't want to be a villain in the story anymore. he asks tommy if he's okay, and watches that kid's back when he walks alone and unarmed into manberg, and fights with him at the battle of the lake and all of that is thrown back in his face as being a lie. half the intial community structures that exist were built by him; the community house, the nether portal and hub, the prime path. during a time where every other piece of leverage got burned or killed (rip the casualties of the pet war), dream was kind of known for being one that could be fairly traded with, that would minimize permanent damage. the kills in the final control room were originally to strip lmanburg of their gear, which he had kept in a chest so it could be returned to them after the war.

like no c!dream isn't perfect at the beginning of the server. yes he's kind of a jerk sometimes, kind of an asshole sometimes, kind of neurotic most of the time. but god dammit like c!dream does try to mitigate the worst of his control issues, when they flare up early on; the initial disc war ends with tommy getting his discs back as well as a stack of diamonds, in exchange for a netherite chestplate. he's a flawed character and he's still someone pretty friendly on the whole to most of the server, he's also kind of just known for being a little weird. he gives gifts randomly. he fixed creeper holes, and houses, and went along with bits. like whatever im a c!drolo c!dream woobifier and i admit it lol but for as much evil as he ends up doing, pretty damn consistently early on, he's . friendly? kind? funny? helpful? their neighbor. their friend. c!dream isn't just some stranger that flew off the handle; he's someone they knew and lived with who had his actions taken in bad faith because the goddamn story said so and kept fucking trying anyway until he believed the lie too. like he was just a guy!! a guy they knew and lived with!!! like my god

[dittobtch]

I'd like to hear about leatin

ah yes my favourite topic:

leah, just a lonely girl living in a lonely world. a girl who falls in love with an older disgusting man only to get her heart broken later on.

then there's fatin: bold, gifted, and tired. so fucking tired of being held back by her busy schedule that she doesn't even want.

both of them fear love for different reasons. fatin thinks she's incapable of it and even if she was, all it brings is pain and heartbreak and she's had enough of that. besides, she doesn't have the time for anything like that: not romantic love nor platonic. familial love for fatin is... well... complicated...

leah on the other hand is familiar with the sting an intense, burning love leaves behind. she's suddenly left alone and has to deal with the consequences on her own. despite everything, all she wants is that toxic love back. to her, it's the only thing that can cure the emptiness she feels.

even on the island all she can think about is jeff. she gets into a literal fight with fatin over him (and fatin's "laziness" and lack of cooperation, but anyways).

then shit gets real. specifically, fatin goes missing. (cue the beginning of a beautiful, complex, sometimes toxic relationship).

only after Leah's confronted with the thought that holy shit someone could die - Fatin could die, does she finally burn his fuck ass book and metaphorically let him go (for now, anyways).

things are good for a bit, then they're bad. the ups and downs of the island. sometimes they get along, like when they think they're going to get rescued. other times they still have trouble getting along and that's okay too; they're learning and they're there for each other and that's all that matters.

well, they're there for each other until they're not. leah's mental health goes into a decline as season 2 begins. fatin tries to hold it together for the both of them, but she can't help but (homoerotically) argue with leah (for the second time) to defend her grieving friend.

eventually they make up because of course they do. afterall, fatin "was starting to like her" and knew that she could never really stop caring about leah.

in fact, the opposite starts happening. she cares about leah so much that she begins to look for the truth for leah. she devotes herself to the very thing that nearly drove leah insane. because she believes leah, for real this time.

and it's good but it's makes her feel so guilty because holy shit leah was right and fatin let her believe that she was insane. she unknowingly helped in gaslighting leah, but she can't give up now. she has to prove that leah was right; it's the only thing that can make up for it.

so, fatin attempts to pick up what leah left behind. fatin, who less than two months ago was unwillingly to help in building a simple shelter, puts in so much of her time and energy in figuring out the truth for leah. she'll let herself go insane the way leah did, do all the ethically questionable things, as long as leah doesn't have to do it anymore.

because fatin loves her:

and even though leah doesn't know fatin does all of this for her, leah loves her back:

(i could not for the life of me find a "the voices you love" gif, sorry)

ultimately, i love leatin because it's a story of these two complex teenagers who heal and break together. neither of them are fond of the idea of love when they meet, especially not with each other but together, they form a unique bond. their love doesn't fix each other but instead, they do things out of love for one another that helps them both.

they relearn how to love together. it's not perfect, but it works for them.

in the words of basically everyone left in this fandom: THEY COULD HAVE BEEN EVERYTHING but also they kind of already were everything and i don't think i'll ever get over it.

anyways if you liked this you should read my new fic too lmao

[natsmagi]

a key element and constant theme of tsumugis character is neglect and the various ways it manifests and how he was neglected by his family severely as a child in multiple cases such as parents forgetting to feed him being abandoned by his father and brother and then how this series of neglect continues throughout tsumugis life by feeling abandoned when ex-fine disbanded but because tsumugi is so caught up in making sure those he cares about (sora and natsume) get what they want and deserve in their idol careers he fails to realize he is repeating that cycle of neglect. many times we see natsume worry that tsumugi is going to leave him and switch behind, that he is going to abandon the promise they made together as kids like this is a CONSTANT fear of natsumes and i feel like tsumugi is repeating the exact same mistakes his mother made in this regard. constantly overworking herself despite being a good-for-nothing, getting into scams due to her religious and superstitious nature being taken advantage of, being an emotional wreck that crumbles under pressure yet is immensely loved and admired by tsumugi to the point where he considered following in her footsteps by being a teacher (which, again, made natsume think tsumugi was abandoning their promise to each other) even if he also pities her. and i think that, during his childhood in baby tsumugis little brain, he took his mothers displays of emotions as a negative. those feelings were hurting his mom, making her upset, so his solution was to just not feel at all, all the while he makes the exact same mistakes she made, now just while completely disconnected. everything we know about tsumugis mom apart from her being overly emotional is a direct parallel to tsumugi from making and maintaining connections and being naturally loved by others to her appearing "hopeless" with work and being incredibly misfortunate. tsumugis mom neglected him alot as a child due to being overworked, overly emotional, and going through her own kind of hell, yet tsumugi recognizes that she did her best and still expresses love for her when talking about her, even though hes aware of her many bad habits. And, again, tsumugi inadvertently mirrors the exact same mistakes his mom did in trying to make tsumugi live a happy life (constantly trying new businesses and failing, falling for scams out of desperation) when trying to make sora and natsume happy (aka being too busy with work that would benefit the unit to spend time with them). Making the mistake of thinking if he just works hard enough they can be happy, when what will make them happy is his company. a lesson his mother, who not only got abandoned by her husband but also her own SON, never got to learn. But sure yea tsumugis mom was a physically abusive alcoholic who would deliberately harm tsumugi as a child and thats why hes ok with natsume hitting him and lets not even bother tackling the role the men in tsumugis life mightve played in him being numb to physical harm because clearly its the emotionally unstable woman tsumugi has expressed love for whose solely to blame who gives a shit anymore

[feelo-fick]

my words arent coming out right enough to write but im having a swell evening thanks for asking. dont mind the blood on the floor thats just love im in love.

[pigeonclaw]

I forgot to say this while I was reading Thunder, but I really like the differences between the trials to join ShadowClan vs ThunderClan.

ShadowClan trials make no sense, they clearly exist only to make life harder for anyone trying to join, which is pretty obvious considering Berryheart is in charge of creating them. And hardly anyone bats an eye at these nonsense trials because they either also don't want strangers joining their Clan or they want new members to prove they're worthy of being here. ShadowClan cats seem to pride themselves on their independence more than other Clans. Anyone who signs up has to prove they can do crazy dangerous stunts without help. The level to which they have to perform is ridiculous because Berryheart is unfair but this is not seen as a bad thing. Prove you're tough enough to belong here. Prove that ShadowClan is the most impressive.

By contrast, ThunderClan trials are about community, and they're intended to teach rather than truly test. While ShadowClan trials are about weeding out the weaklings and ending up with only the most capable warriors, ThunderClan trials are about teaching new warriors to become capable in their new home. While we don't see Fernstripe's trials, Sunbeam's are all about undoing her ShadowClan ideal of independence and replacing it with ThunderClan teamwork. These trials mostly serve the Clan, too. Feed the elders, protect the camp. How well can you commit to teamwork, even while stuck with someone you don't get along with? This is about creating a strong new Clanmate more than it's about gatekeeping.

I like these trials because they highlight the differences between the two Clans better than most books have bothered to. The attitudes and culture between the two camps feels more distinct than ever.

[shorthaltsjester]

free my complex female character, she did the same thing as complex male characters but the fandom takes Any analysis of her actions/choices/motivations that doesn’t strip her of all of her agency in bad faith and claims that only misogynists would dare to critique the things that they’ve noticed in her character because she’s a woman, completely ignoring the over-presence of discourse about similarly traited male characters in their fandom.

[bring-cringe-back]

Okay I might just be reading too much into this. But while I was watching the episode *cough cough* procrastinating *cough cough I realised that they don't show how the Doctor and Ruby got there.

And I know that it's probably just meant to be vaguely like 'they just went for fun'.

BUT this is the third episode in a row where we haven't seen them arrive. And for 73 yards it was clearly a doctor who episode when it started but it immediately gets rid of the doctor. ( I know that for 73 yards and for dot and bubble it was because Ncuti Gatwa was filming other stuff but let me cook) In Dot and Bubble you could effectively be forgiven for assuming that it was a random Black Mirror episode or something similar until the Doctor turns up, and tbh if you were just flicking through channels and haven't been watching Doctor Who you could probably basically not know for much longer. In Rogue they are just there, except for the title screen (the same for dot and bubble) you could basically watch it as a Bridgerton episode until the Chuldur turn up.

(And there's whole other rant about how the Chuldur fits into the theory about this basically being a TV show within a TV show, I don't know the name for this theory)

But anyway these episodes are increasingly separated from the Doctor and Ruby as plot points particularly in the beginning of episodes. They are more and more like an excuse to tell the story or explore the topic that the writers want to explore. Which isn't totally different from the occasional episode of previous series, but this is a lot more in my memory at least from previous series. So it feels a lot like they are skimming over the more sci-fi doctor who elements. Which fits in in my mind to the idea that the 'One who waits' is a representation of story telling. I've seen theories that it's Ruby but she doesn't know it which makes sense, I think it would also make sense for it to be her parent(s) who left her, or alternatively just it's own thing all together. But it feels very like that bit where Amy is living a life and starts to realise it's all fake.

The narrowing down of these episodes into not showing them arriving, and at least in Rogue - I can't remember in the others - not showing them leaving the story, feels very different.

It feels more and more like story telling. They have covered fairy tales, Period pieces/Romance, Dystopia, War/SciFi, Musicals, Political Drama. They are also showing the doctor playing his role, something that we see companions doing often enough but we seldom see the doctor doing it.

In Space Babies he is scared of a new creature. In the Devil's Code he sings a song that makes little sense in the story, he doesn't question the road making noise. In Boom he's more himself but it's also the closes to his 'normal' environment. In 73 Yards they just fully remove him from the story, which I realise was done for filming requirements but would have been so interesting to see the doctor in a Political drama. In Dot and Bubble he plays the role of the outsider bringing information to those living under a Dystopia, how is he UNABLE to access the inside, sure he plays a role that's fairly similar to himself but Doctor Who is really Dystopian.

In Rogue he is becoming more and more his role, he is playing the role of a sort of Elizabeth Bennet style character, a strong romantic interest for the brooding man. Which is great, he makes fun of the genre, but he is hyper aware of the genre and still ends up in its pitfalls. He trusts a man so quickly he ends up handing over his sonic, he gets proposed to and basically immediately accepts. Now I am really hoping that Rogue gets to stay around I really liked him as a character, regardless of which theory of his identity if any are true. But the Doctors reaction to him is still a little out of character, he is feeling what he is SUPPOSED to feel and he is acting how he is SUPPOSED to act.

It just feels to me like an increasing number of these episodes are more and more story like and more and more separated from the more Doctor Who elements. And the lack of an introduction of how they get there, and the lack of them leaving in the TARDIS is so unusual to me and stands out to my brain so much.

It feels like they are removing elements that don't fit the genre. Anyway not sure if that makes any sense but I'm vibing with it.

[fiveredlights]

Is there a lil sneak peek of Old Habits Die Screaming you could share with us? I so can't wait for the next chapter!

you may have a little sneak peek 🫶

“You thought about me?” Max asks quietly.

He pushes himself off where he’s been resting on Max’s chest, the warm summer air filling the gaps where he used to be. Daniel watches as the corner of Max’s lips pull down, brows furrowing, before he manoeuvres Max to lay on top of him, his head resting in between the crook of Daniel’s neck and shoulder.

A tiny, miniscule part of his brain is screaming at him to run, probably planted from the years of scars grown from overattachment. His teeth burrow under the skin of everyone he’s ever loved before they’re ripped out by his own hand.

[yuwuta]

is this a safe space can we talk about a/b/o aus also can i mention okkofushi and can i say alpha yuuta who was so nervous about the responsibility of being part of and taking care of a pack but he fits so naturally in the role, it’s so easy for all his friends to fall in line and follow him and trust him, so he doesn’t understand why you and megumi are both so difficult. it’s not like he thinks omegas are weak by default, yuuta knows you’re stronger than he’ll ever be; it’s not like he thinks betas need to assume more submissive roles, he knows megumi can take care of himself. separately, you two are fine, but together you’re the brattiest pair and yuuta doesn’t get why nor does he get why it bothers him. he was never the alpha that needed the validation, never the one that needed people to fear to him just from his presence alone, but you and megumi make him desperate, and even worse, yuuta knows he wouldn’t be satisfied with just one of your. he’s trying not to push you both, he’s trying to be a good alpha, a calm alpha, a decent alpha but every time megumi rolls his eyes and does as he pleases, or you giggle at him and ask some other alpha for help, or the two of you tease just to run off together, yuuta is overrun with thoughts of how to tame you two, how to make you listen, how to get you both to just submit for once in your lives.

[afieldinengland]

for some reason, the bitchery of new labour seems to have even been capable of infecting some of its biographers. in the author description on the inside cover of gordon brown: the biography by paul routledge (published in 1998), it says that routledge was also working on an unauthorised biography of peter mandelson at the time of publication. and so you think, ‘oh, interesting that it’s unauthorised, given that this biography had gordon brown’s full cooperation, and paints a pretty favourable picture of him.’ and then, well, you remember it’s new labour, aka the political family with an internal rupture a mile wide, and then you recall which sides of said abyss mandelson and brown respectively sat on in the late nineties. so of course if paul routledge was a fan of brown, he likely wasn’t going to rate mandelson, and wouldn’t have felt the need to seek authorisation. and so when you look up the mandelson book, it’s called Mandy— the nickname mandelson detested— and multiple online reviews go along the lines of ‘man, routledge wanted this guy’s guts for garters’

[muchmossymess]

Like they just did that and moved on